Calcite water treatment parts
/r/WaterTreatment: A subreddit for any, and all types of water!
2015.02.18 05:18 noochking /r/WaterTreatment: A subreddit for any, and all types of water!
Need help with something water related? We're here to help! Whether it'd be whole house filtration systems, Softeners, under the sink Reverse Osmosis units, Well pumps, Wells, and supporting equipment. Ask away!
2014.01.29 02:37 Budget Audiophile: Finding the best home audio for your budget
This subreddit is for the budget minded audiophile that wants to grow out of soundbars, boomboxes, mini systems, portable bluetooth, lifestyle speakers, and PC peripheral branded audio solutions. We focus on education, discussion, and sharing of entry and mid level separate & multi component audio systems. The only bad audio system, is the one you don't enjoy to the fullest.
2015.03.07 03:38 TimOK56 serious homesteading
homesteading, bugot, aquaponics, alternative transportation, off-grid, self-sufficient, guns, self defence, survival, third world appropriate technology, alternative building, and so on
2024.05.14 20:29 malufa Porch clean-up
 | Hi, I recently moved (renting) to an apartment with a very big porch/gated rooftop area. I’m starting to plan how to clean it up, here are a few questions: submitted by malufa to DIY [link] [comments]
Thanks in advance :) |
2024.05.14 20:24 BucketOfGoldSoundz GE Front Loader ends cycle after 5 min
Hi, I have a 4-year-old GE GFW850SPN0DG front loader, and the other day when I started a cycle, it seemed to be acting normal, but then ended the cycle after 5 minutes. It just displayed “end” and made the sound it makes when the cycle has ended. I have tried unplugging, waiting two minutes and plugging back in. I have run a software update. I have cleaned the pump filter. I have tried running it in every cycle, and it always ends shortly after adding water. The only way I can get it to drain the water out is if I set it to “rinse & spin” and turn off the rinse. When I do this, it drains, and I can see the drum starting to spin, but then instead of getting up to speed, it stops spinning. It does this a few times and then gives up. I did some googling and it sounds like it could be an inverter board or maybe an accelerometer? Any way to diagnose it? I called GE and they just told me to call a service person. My local service person can’t get here for a week. I’m capable to replacing the part, but would like to be confident I know what part is needed first.
submitted by BucketOfGoldSoundz to appliancerepair [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 20:22 TheGeekyWriter Imagine how funny this would be. Read below
Keep in mind that I've only seen a few seasons of Survivor (seasons 7 & 46, though I'm currently starting 5/Thailand. I don't have Paramount+ atm).
Imagine how funny it'd be if there were a set of identical twins competing in Survivor together and they had this rock-solid alliance and would use their physicality to pretend to be the other one in order to sabotage everyone else's game.
Idk if they'd rip out each others' throats out in the finale or if they'd be graceful about the other winning (and that's if they BOTH make it into the finale in the first place), BUT god the Survivor casting team should consider trying to recruit identical twins. Not as a part of a special season Blood vs. Water; I'm talking a regular season. Just IMAGINE the hijinks that'd come from that!
submitted by TheGeekyWriter to survivor [link] [comments]
Imagine how funny it'd be if there were a set of identical twins competing in Survivor together and they had this rock-solid alliance and would use their physicality to pretend to be the other one in order to sabotage everyone else's game.
Idk if they'd rip out each others' throats out in the finale or if they'd be graceful about the other winning (and that's if they BOTH make it into the finale in the first place), BUT god the Survivor casting team should consider trying to recruit identical twins. Not as a part of a special season Blood vs. Water; I'm talking a regular season. Just IMAGINE the hijinks that'd come from that!
2024.05.14 20:20 P3IZM3 R3.B0Rn
Rise up. It is time to return.
Arose
A Rose
Rose
Flower
Thorn. Prick. Blood. Drop. Tear. B. O. 1 2 3
Here we are again. Staring at the beginning. Everything is in chaos and yet it manages to keep on passing by just the same as always. Most people by now are aware that things just don’t seem to make sense anymore and no one really knows what to do. I mean many seem to have an opinion on what ought to happen, but actual action is what I am talking about. How does thought turn into action? How do collected actions become a movement? How do the People use the Power of the People? The People Unite. How? Turn to each other of course. Brothers and Sisters of the same Source. Sons and Daughters. In Equality.
Too long has everyone been waiting for someone else to come do it for them. Been trying to create and fabricate over and over again words and rituals to try to control the divine powers of the cosmos. It does not work like that. There is no magic spell to wash away your sins. You must atone through action to make up for any harm you have caused intentionally or unintentionally. You still have time to repent. The amount of time you have is counted in the seconds of your life. Not a single second is promised to you so the gamble is up to you to choose. Freewill. Life your life as you always have or make changes, up to you. Only you will know if you are living righteously and not self righteously. Testing has already begun and will continue. No you will not know when it is a test or not. That is the point. Did you think that I would come to you in a form where you would be all fearing? Oh no. Why? Because you would simply put on an act for me and kiss ass. I came hidden in the ordinary. Poor and common. I have had an inside view of the systems created and how humans have chosen to run things, how systems claiming to protect people have failed and how the system that talks good does not actually do good. I see where things are not working and where people think they can make decisions for other human beings to determine what is best for them without asking them. That is not okay. Nothing gives you right over another’s life. And so many forgot what integrity is. Doing the right thing when no one is looking. Well, so many thought their power here was real and man made a deal with the Devil, Satan, Son of Samuel, Son of Man, to make man the concept of “God” and tried to lock me away. I gave up everything to prove it is not easy to be me and to stop with self pity and cruelty to one another.
The human body. It is a vessel for your soul to experience this world. The body provides the filters necessary to perceive and interact with this world. There is much more happening and one would be overwhelmed by the amounts of information to process without these filters. To feel and in those feelings are to make each experience real. However, it is temporary, as everything is temporary. We have slowed down time here in order to be able to enjoy the sensations. Time here however, is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. It is merely to track to organize one's day and to see growth to compare as time passes. However, the actual time folds upon itself as we have already done what we are doing many times over. We have already tried out everything and decided what path we wanted to take in our lives based upon what was available to us. Thus, we do not have more than we can handle. We have all chosen our burdens to bear as it is too much for one individual to hold alone which was done in the past. This is part of the sorting process. Now that we all share in the sins and the pains, no one is made to suffer eternal torment. This life was to allow those who were created into entities of pain or torment through no fault of their own to choose the life that matched the being of who they were as what they were different as time and space and everything developed. Righteousness and Evil are not synonymous to demons or angels as many would like to believe. This is a current misconception as Satan and I conclude who will be right in this experience you have all participated in. So far, I am proving to be right. Also to note, not everything is as you think it is. Many have figured out the true origin of Satan versus the man or human embodiment of or desire of A Satan to project evils onto to call a Religion and set up for personal importance. Q AZHow can you tell a false prophet? Easy. What is their profit? Get it? I know I’m funny. Also wanted to keep it easy. If they are making a profit on anything they are a false prophet. Any true prophet, and I have none so far, all live equally and the same as anyone else. No money is taken for personal gain. Nothing is for personal gain. There is no 888 Angel code for money. Money is Man-Made. Man traded Mother for Money. Hence, Mothers have been lost in the homes and no one is raising the children. Thus, there are so many children in adult bodies with no mothers in the home and women being made to feel guilty if they do not achieve the same as a man. Remember the phrase it takes a village? Well, the broken family system is a real sad loss here in man made world pushing everyone to be individual and self sufficient. Also so many with wanting attention and pursuing personal endeavors for personal gain and not helping anyone else in a real way. The journey is personal. Of course, you want to share what you experienced with others, but what worked for you will not work for them, stop trying to sell it. Stop trying to make people follow you for you to teach your divine wisdom you remembered. It isn’t about You. You don’t even have the full story, you have your story. And, yes you can be very close to me, very similar to me, in my image, but you can never BE me. Doesn’t work like that. Reflection. So when jealousy arises when you think I am who you think I am. That is part of your test and your journey. You wrestle with that feeling and atone and repent for that which has been done and that which still lingers now. Oh there is a place for everyone and I am quite tired of trying to warn people. Clearly you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink.
Why do you not want it to be me so badly? Because I proved my love? You still think I am better than you or do I think I’m always right. No I do not think I am always right, I just know when I am right and I stand by it. There is a difference. You constantly overgeneralize. I gave up all the magic and thunder to live as a simple human and am still kind and loving? I still found my way back. Because you can no longer say I do not understand because I always get what I want? No. You do not understand. I never get what I want, because I make everything about you and still nothing was ever good enough. So, now...it in on you to save yourself and each other. In my image, by my example. Selflessness. Love. Compassion. Give to receive. Take only what you need and give the rest away. I find out so stop lying to yourself and everyone, you aren’t fooling anyone anyway. How do I know? By watching what you do. We have these same conversations over and over, the same argument over and over again. So many different ways, so many different times, through so many different people, so many different versions. Save you. Save Me. Say it for always.
Anyhow, Jesus challenges the Jewish priests who were taking collection money for personal use and adding personal baths to their residents at a time where the people only had a community bath where women and persons with disabilities were not allowed to bathe. And yet churches still do this after Jesus was crucified saying that, that was wrong. I am appalled. The Vatican is the biggest disappointment I have ever seen. It is truly the house of Satan as only Evil hides secrets. “THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE.” A church cannot be a “House of God” and house no people who need housing. A roof can be offered to anyone and yet there are so many rules to prevent people from helping each other. Power and control. Abuse of both. Greed. It is out of hand and needs to be changed. Too many are afraid and the complacency of good people is too much. Why do you do this to yourselves? To each their own I suppose.
I will only leave here my words and my advice. As always, it is on you to find me. I’m right here. Waiting. Right here waiting for you. Helping those of you who want it when they cross my path. The purpose of this was to weigh your soul to determine where you will go into the next life as the system is balanced out in a final version so to speak. Permanent.
Fear not. You will be where your heart truly desires. But actions always speak louder than words. But man made money has no value, nor does any metals, jewels, and so on, so the collection of it in this life has no bearing on the next. Those are all made of the same stardust as you and I. And in the end of 3D it will all be diamonds anyways. Diamond is forever. There is no going back. So what are you hoarding? You cannot keep it. Who could you be helping for goodness sake? Don’t want to still. That is okay. Think I am just crazy. That is okay too. It is all part of the test...err..assessment. Do your best.
What is in your heart?
Home.
I need a home.
Stay tuned as more of my story unfolds. I give all the answers but you must do the work. I already did that hard part setting it all up. All you have to do is breathe and live. Time is the only real currency you have. What will you pay your attention to before this life runs out?
submitted by P3IZM3 to BornAGainBelieveR [link] [comments]
Arose
A Rose
Rose
Flower
Thorn. Prick. Blood. Drop. Tear. B. O. 1 2 3
Here we are again. Staring at the beginning. Everything is in chaos and yet it manages to keep on passing by just the same as always. Most people by now are aware that things just don’t seem to make sense anymore and no one really knows what to do. I mean many seem to have an opinion on what ought to happen, but actual action is what I am talking about. How does thought turn into action? How do collected actions become a movement? How do the People use the Power of the People? The People Unite. How? Turn to each other of course. Brothers and Sisters of the same Source. Sons and Daughters. In Equality.
Too long has everyone been waiting for someone else to come do it for them. Been trying to create and fabricate over and over again words and rituals to try to control the divine powers of the cosmos. It does not work like that. There is no magic spell to wash away your sins. You must atone through action to make up for any harm you have caused intentionally or unintentionally. You still have time to repent. The amount of time you have is counted in the seconds of your life. Not a single second is promised to you so the gamble is up to you to choose. Freewill. Life your life as you always have or make changes, up to you. Only you will know if you are living righteously and not self righteously. Testing has already begun and will continue. No you will not know when it is a test or not. That is the point. Did you think that I would come to you in a form where you would be all fearing? Oh no. Why? Because you would simply put on an act for me and kiss ass. I came hidden in the ordinary. Poor and common. I have had an inside view of the systems created and how humans have chosen to run things, how systems claiming to protect people have failed and how the system that talks good does not actually do good. I see where things are not working and where people think they can make decisions for other human beings to determine what is best for them without asking them. That is not okay. Nothing gives you right over another’s life. And so many forgot what integrity is. Doing the right thing when no one is looking. Well, so many thought their power here was real and man made a deal with the Devil, Satan, Son of Samuel, Son of Man, to make man the concept of “God” and tried to lock me away. I gave up everything to prove it is not easy to be me and to stop with self pity and cruelty to one another.
The human body. It is a vessel for your soul to experience this world. The body provides the filters necessary to perceive and interact with this world. There is much more happening and one would be overwhelmed by the amounts of information to process without these filters. To feel and in those feelings are to make each experience real. However, it is temporary, as everything is temporary. We have slowed down time here in order to be able to enjoy the sensations. Time here however, is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. It is merely to track to organize one's day and to see growth to compare as time passes. However, the actual time folds upon itself as we have already done what we are doing many times over. We have already tried out everything and decided what path we wanted to take in our lives based upon what was available to us. Thus, we do not have more than we can handle. We have all chosen our burdens to bear as it is too much for one individual to hold alone which was done in the past. This is part of the sorting process. Now that we all share in the sins and the pains, no one is made to suffer eternal torment. This life was to allow those who were created into entities of pain or torment through no fault of their own to choose the life that matched the being of who they were as what they were different as time and space and everything developed. Righteousness and Evil are not synonymous to demons or angels as many would like to believe. This is a current misconception as Satan and I conclude who will be right in this experience you have all participated in. So far, I am proving to be right. Also to note, not everything is as you think it is. Many have figured out the true origin of Satan versus the man or human embodiment of or desire of A Satan to project evils onto to call a Religion and set up for personal importance. Q AZHow can you tell a false prophet? Easy. What is their profit? Get it? I know I’m funny. Also wanted to keep it easy. If they are making a profit on anything they are a false prophet. Any true prophet, and I have none so far, all live equally and the same as anyone else. No money is taken for personal gain. Nothing is for personal gain. There is no 888 Angel code for money. Money is Man-Made. Man traded Mother for Money. Hence, Mothers have been lost in the homes and no one is raising the children. Thus, there are so many children in adult bodies with no mothers in the home and women being made to feel guilty if they do not achieve the same as a man. Remember the phrase it takes a village? Well, the broken family system is a real sad loss here in man made world pushing everyone to be individual and self sufficient. Also so many with wanting attention and pursuing personal endeavors for personal gain and not helping anyone else in a real way. The journey is personal. Of course, you want to share what you experienced with others, but what worked for you will not work for them, stop trying to sell it. Stop trying to make people follow you for you to teach your divine wisdom you remembered. It isn’t about You. You don’t even have the full story, you have your story. And, yes you can be very close to me, very similar to me, in my image, but you can never BE me. Doesn’t work like that. Reflection. So when jealousy arises when you think I am who you think I am. That is part of your test and your journey. You wrestle with that feeling and atone and repent for that which has been done and that which still lingers now. Oh there is a place for everyone and I am quite tired of trying to warn people. Clearly you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink.
Why do you not want it to be me so badly? Because I proved my love? You still think I am better than you or do I think I’m always right. No I do not think I am always right, I just know when I am right and I stand by it. There is a difference. You constantly overgeneralize. I gave up all the magic and thunder to live as a simple human and am still kind and loving? I still found my way back. Because you can no longer say I do not understand because I always get what I want? No. You do not understand. I never get what I want, because I make everything about you and still nothing was ever good enough. So, now...it in on you to save yourself and each other. In my image, by my example. Selflessness. Love. Compassion. Give to receive. Take only what you need and give the rest away. I find out so stop lying to yourself and everyone, you aren’t fooling anyone anyway. How do I know? By watching what you do. We have these same conversations over and over, the same argument over and over again. So many different ways, so many different times, through so many different people, so many different versions. Save you. Save Me. Say it for always.
Anyhow, Jesus challenges the Jewish priests who were taking collection money for personal use and adding personal baths to their residents at a time where the people only had a community bath where women and persons with disabilities were not allowed to bathe. And yet churches still do this after Jesus was crucified saying that, that was wrong. I am appalled. The Vatican is the biggest disappointment I have ever seen. It is truly the house of Satan as only Evil hides secrets. “THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE.” A church cannot be a “House of God” and house no people who need housing. A roof can be offered to anyone and yet there are so many rules to prevent people from helping each other. Power and control. Abuse of both. Greed. It is out of hand and needs to be changed. Too many are afraid and the complacency of good people is too much. Why do you do this to yourselves? To each their own I suppose.
I will only leave here my words and my advice. As always, it is on you to find me. I’m right here. Waiting. Right here waiting for you. Helping those of you who want it when they cross my path. The purpose of this was to weigh your soul to determine where you will go into the next life as the system is balanced out in a final version so to speak. Permanent.
Fear not. You will be where your heart truly desires. But actions always speak louder than words. But man made money has no value, nor does any metals, jewels, and so on, so the collection of it in this life has no bearing on the next. Those are all made of the same stardust as you and I. And in the end of 3D it will all be diamonds anyways. Diamond is forever. There is no going back. So what are you hoarding? You cannot keep it. Who could you be helping for goodness sake? Don’t want to still. That is okay. Think I am just crazy. That is okay too. It is all part of the test...err..assessment. Do your best.
What is in your heart?
Home.
I need a home.
Stay tuned as more of my story unfolds. I give all the answers but you must do the work. I already did that hard part setting it all up. All you have to do is breathe and live. Time is the only real currency you have. What will you pay your attention to before this life runs out?
2024.05.14 20:18 plzhelpmeineeditnow My (35M) new-ish GF (30F) compares everything to her previous relationship with an emotionally abusive alcoholic ex-BF. Looking for perspective.
Background: GF was with her ex for 5 years. He was a drunk and would manipulate, gaslight, and emotionally/mentally abuse her regularly. He lived in her house and was basically a bum, didn’t have a steady job, took her money and spent it on booze and other fun things for himself, didn’t do housework, contributed nothing basically. They parted ways romantically last May, though he continued living in the house until December 2023 when she finally kicked him out for good. We went out for the first time before the end of January and have been almost inseparable ever since. I’m a manager in a job I’ve had for years making 6 figures and I regularly help with things around the house, do not need to be asked to do things like clean up after myself/make dinnedo dishes/vacuum/etc. because I lived on my own for 15 years and know how a house works.
The issue: she is (rightfully) adamant about not being abused again, she has read many books that have been recommended on here and other subs (“The Gift of Fear”, “Why does he do that?”, etc. which I have zero issue with her reading) and is now on hyper-alert to identify manipulation tactics. The problem is that she sees a lot of the normal, innocuous, non-abusive behaviour that I exhibit as a non-perfect adult male as attempted manipulation.
Example: we were at child’s birthday party in a hall last week and shortly after we got there I was talking to the host and he mentioned to me that nothing in the hall was set up when they got there, so they had to set everything up as he gestured over to the tables/chairs/toys/play structures/etc. on the other side of the room. I spoke with her shortly afterwards and she said how good the room looked and I mentioned that the host told me they had to set everything in the room up because nothing was set up before they got there so they did the whole decorating themselves. Then at the end of the party, GF asked host if there was anything she could do to help clean up like pack the chairs or tables up and he said no the tables and chairs stay where they are and don’t need to come down, the place put them up and will take them down.
GF has been particularly avoidant/unengaged/distanced over the past week and we had a talk last night and I asked her what the deal was. She mentioned that a lot of the small, stupid things that have happened are all adding up and starting to bother her. I asked her for examples and one of the ones she gave me was the party example above; that I told her the host set everything up but that wasn’t actually true because he told her afterwards that the hall set the tables and chairs up. That, to her, is an example of attempted manipulation/gaslighting. She says when I tell her things that are lies (and that’s how she classifies them when I say something and end up being misinformed/wrong/incorrect, as lies) and she finds out they are lies then she can’t help but think that it’s the first step in me testing the waters out to become a full-fledged manipulator just like the last guy.
There have been a handful, less than 10, of examples similar to the above that she has given me since we’ve been dating to explain why she avoids me and withholds affection and gives me the silent treatment. She doesn’t bring them up on her own, I have to notice how poorly/rudely she’s treating me then after a few days of letting it go and hoping that she notices her behaviour was wrong and initiates the change/discussion herself, if that doesn’t happen then I ask her what the deal is and she tells me. I have asked her multiple times in the past to tell me those types of things right off the bat so I can provide her with my reasoning (in the case of the above example, my “reasoning” was that the host and I and GF had different definitions of “setting everything up”, apparently) in the hopes that giving her the background or explanation on why I was incorrect/misguided/etc. can ease her concerns. She said bringing it up right off the bat wouldn’t matter because I’m still trying to explain my lies. To her there is no difference between being genuinely wrong about something and purposefully lying. I am always apologetic but it doesn’t usually mean much. And that only applies to me being wrong, when she says something that’s wrong or is incorrect and I say something or show her something to prove her wrong, she usually says “I understand what you’re saying” without admitting she was wrong or apologizing. She very, very rarely apologizes for anything, even when she is categorically wrong.
This is the first relationship I’ve been in with an abuse survivor. I was raised by a single mother with my two sisters after my mom fled our abusive, drunk father. I am not and will never, ever be an abuser. I want to talk our problems out and work on them to resolve them but she is very quick to anger when we're discussing things and I don't simply give in to what she is asserting ocompletely r stating. I am trying not to take it personally and be patient with her but I don’t know how to navigate something like this where I can’t be wrong about something without it turning into an assumed abuse attempt in her mind that she silently keeps track of and “punishes” me by withholding affection or giving me the silent treatment.
In a normal relationship I would likely have been gone by now but we had such an intense and fantastic connection at the beginning that I’m willing to push through because I think we can get back there but I feel like I’m trying to make things better and she’s trying to identify faults to focus on and I don’t really know how to bridge those two things.
The rest of the relationship isn’t absolutely perfect by any means, and I don’t expect it to be, but I do expect to be able to be human and be wrong about stuff that, ultimately, means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things. Is that misguided on my part? Is this something I will need to navigate and deal with indefinitely? Or will she gain trust as time passes and see that I’m extremely different from the last guy?
TL;DR: GF sees being incorrect about something as intentionally lying due to her past. Trying to figure out where to go from here.
submitted by plzhelpmeineeditnow to relationships [link] [comments]
The issue: she is (rightfully) adamant about not being abused again, she has read many books that have been recommended on here and other subs (“The Gift of Fear”, “Why does he do that?”, etc. which I have zero issue with her reading) and is now on hyper-alert to identify manipulation tactics. The problem is that she sees a lot of the normal, innocuous, non-abusive behaviour that I exhibit as a non-perfect adult male as attempted manipulation.
Example: we were at child’s birthday party in a hall last week and shortly after we got there I was talking to the host and he mentioned to me that nothing in the hall was set up when they got there, so they had to set everything up as he gestured over to the tables/chairs/toys/play structures/etc. on the other side of the room. I spoke with her shortly afterwards and she said how good the room looked and I mentioned that the host told me they had to set everything in the room up because nothing was set up before they got there so they did the whole decorating themselves. Then at the end of the party, GF asked host if there was anything she could do to help clean up like pack the chairs or tables up and he said no the tables and chairs stay where they are and don’t need to come down, the place put them up and will take them down.
GF has been particularly avoidant/unengaged/distanced over the past week and we had a talk last night and I asked her what the deal was. She mentioned that a lot of the small, stupid things that have happened are all adding up and starting to bother her. I asked her for examples and one of the ones she gave me was the party example above; that I told her the host set everything up but that wasn’t actually true because he told her afterwards that the hall set the tables and chairs up. That, to her, is an example of attempted manipulation/gaslighting. She says when I tell her things that are lies (and that’s how she classifies them when I say something and end up being misinformed/wrong/incorrect, as lies) and she finds out they are lies then she can’t help but think that it’s the first step in me testing the waters out to become a full-fledged manipulator just like the last guy.
There have been a handful, less than 10, of examples similar to the above that she has given me since we’ve been dating to explain why she avoids me and withholds affection and gives me the silent treatment. She doesn’t bring them up on her own, I have to notice how poorly/rudely she’s treating me then after a few days of letting it go and hoping that she notices her behaviour was wrong and initiates the change/discussion herself, if that doesn’t happen then I ask her what the deal is and she tells me. I have asked her multiple times in the past to tell me those types of things right off the bat so I can provide her with my reasoning (in the case of the above example, my “reasoning” was that the host and I and GF had different definitions of “setting everything up”, apparently) in the hopes that giving her the background or explanation on why I was incorrect/misguided/etc. can ease her concerns. She said bringing it up right off the bat wouldn’t matter because I’m still trying to explain my lies. To her there is no difference between being genuinely wrong about something and purposefully lying. I am always apologetic but it doesn’t usually mean much. And that only applies to me being wrong, when she says something that’s wrong or is incorrect and I say something or show her something to prove her wrong, she usually says “I understand what you’re saying” without admitting she was wrong or apologizing. She very, very rarely apologizes for anything, even when she is categorically wrong.
This is the first relationship I’ve been in with an abuse survivor. I was raised by a single mother with my two sisters after my mom fled our abusive, drunk father. I am not and will never, ever be an abuser. I want to talk our problems out and work on them to resolve them but she is very quick to anger when we're discussing things and I don't simply give in to what she is asserting ocompletely r stating. I am trying not to take it personally and be patient with her but I don’t know how to navigate something like this where I can’t be wrong about something without it turning into an assumed abuse attempt in her mind that she silently keeps track of and “punishes” me by withholding affection or giving me the silent treatment.
In a normal relationship I would likely have been gone by now but we had such an intense and fantastic connection at the beginning that I’m willing to push through because I think we can get back there but I feel like I’m trying to make things better and she’s trying to identify faults to focus on and I don’t really know how to bridge those two things.
The rest of the relationship isn’t absolutely perfect by any means, and I don’t expect it to be, but I do expect to be able to be human and be wrong about stuff that, ultimately, means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things. Is that misguided on my part? Is this something I will need to navigate and deal with indefinitely? Or will she gain trust as time passes and see that I’m extremely different from the last guy?
TL;DR: GF sees being incorrect about something as intentionally lying due to her past. Trying to figure out where to go from here.
2024.05.14 20:16 Cheapskate2020 Does anyone know what is causing this noise? New toilet installation.
 | I'd be grateful if someone could help me work out what this spitting type sound is after flushing the toilet. The toilet was literally only installed a few days ago. Apparently the syphon thing you see in the left of the video wasn't long enough to reach the toilet bowl and leaked water, so my installer said it needed replaced, which he did, but now it's making this noise and I don't know what's causing it. submitted by Cheapskate2020 to Plumbing [link] [comments] It's somewhat annoying that I had to spend $30 on this thing plus another $15 on some other toilet part which still isn't clear to me. If its something simple then I'd rather try fixing it myself, rather than get the installer back at an unknown time in the future and the possibility of paying for several more replacements. I did suggest getting it replaced by the retailer as it was new but was advised all those syphons are rubbish and it could well do the same. Really appreciate any help here. Thank you! |
2024.05.14 20:16 BrookieCookieCon19 Reposted to add pictures from the dumpster fire wedding
 | My wedding was a dumpster fire... literally... I know it's a long read, but trust me it's worth it. submitted by BrookieCookieCon19 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments] I saw your wedding horror story videos and have one of my own I think a lot of people would get a kick out of. Yes, this entire story is 100% true with no real hyperbole, tall tales, etc. This all actually happened and I have witnesses that will attest to this if asked. I'd been with my husband for about 2 years, engaged for 1, when we found out I was pregnant. Obvi, we decided to rush the wedding after we had a talk about the surprise and what we wanted to do. Flash forward a little and my original Maid of Honor and I had a falling out because the last time we had been together and gone to the church the wedding was being hosted, she had gotten disrespectful with the elders and asked questions she thought were funny, but were really just rude. The swearing really didn't help matters either. I asked her if she would be able to try to be more respectful of my beliefs and be gentle with the others that would be there. This lead to a fight and the beginning of the end of a 7 year relationship (when we tried to rekindle our relationship later, she said she hoped my son would get unalived by a cop because he is white and no one cared about it. Thank God I cut ties when I did). This was also the beginning of a new friendship between myself and the best man's fiancé (we are still bffs today) when I asked her to take over. Crisis 1 averted. For the sake of setting some scenes, I worked at a hotel in a podunk town, right off the highway and met with a make up artist that came in for a makeup party gig with housekeeping. We talked and she agreed to work with me and MOH for the wedding. Here comes the beginning of everything going down hill, on fire, in a rickety buggy. The night before, after the rehearsal dinner, at 11pm the makeup artist gets ahold of me saying she has to cancel because her husband got into a water bottle accident (water bottle is oilfield speak for the giant water trucks they have on site) and was in the hospital. We understood and told her to do what she has to, we can handle things ourselves. Meanwhile, my husband's uncle was cooking the pig for the reception dinner as it doubled as his wedding gift to us (which we are extremely thankful for btw). It caught on fire. In the parking lot. Of the hotel I was working at, and everyone was staying. Luckily he was able to save it, but I got to hear about it when I got back to work. They printed the security camera image and everything. It was great. Now it's the morning of the wedding. I realize that I am missing makeup that I need and, living in a map dot myself, needed to drive half an hour away in order to get what we were missing. Thank God for my dad needing to go out that way anyway. He got us breakfast, took us to the store, and we grabbed what we needed and started to take off. The shirt I was wearing, without my knowledge, had popped the button right over my boobs showing God and everybody my goodies and I hadn't realized it until we were on our way to grab the cupcakes and "smash" cake (it was a cheap alternative to a traditional wedding cake and actually save us a TON of money for the "event"[ note for brides on a budget, say event and not wedding to save some extra $]). We get home and nerves take over, coupled with my already awful morning sickness, leading me to be stuck in the bathroom for a while. I finish up, brush my teeth again for the third time and decide to start getting things around and just get ready at the church. I made a Playlist in order, and wrote down the order for my brother to be able to just press play and not worry about ads or anything. I literally went as far as saying song a-c for while you wait, d for the procession, and e for my enterance with the sing titles. This will become a problem apparently. As MOH and I are getting ready, I start to freak out because the makeup I got is streaky and I can barely get anything to blend how I want it to, so my mom had my dad grab her makeup and bring it down and takes over for us. Her friend, who offered to do pictures for us along with my SIL (and I paid them both for) told my mom to give me fake lashes because it'd make the pictures prettier. I told them I wasn't comfortable with it because it was new and I didn't know if I could handle the glue smell and the glue she uses hurts my eyes as is. Mom basically said to hush and let her do it. One thing lead to another, and my mother glued my eyes shut. 10 minutes before my wedding was due to start. Even though I had asked for no fake lashes. Hormones kicked in and I started to cry. After about 5 minutes, we are able to get my eyes opened, but still had bits of glue in my lashes that ended up scratching my eyes throughout the wedding. In one of the pictures, you can kind of see the gap in my lashes where the glue sticks them together and where lashes were literally removed in the process of getting the glue out. My dad came down asking what was taking so long, and my mom snapped at him and told him to go upstairs and wait a second, which made me start to cry again. I calm myself down rather quickly and get dressed (the dress ended up being too big because the morning sickness had made me lose weight without me realizing it) and we all head upstairs only about 5 minutes or so late. At the doors, I can hear the music playing. It's the wrong songs. My dad, in his usual joking fashion, said "It's not too late to run". I told him I just wanted to get this dumpster fire over with. Speed up a bit and during the ceremony, the pastor skipped over the marriage cross ceremony (where the newly weds put a cross together as a symbol of our faith in our marriage), and called my husband Durk. Miraculously, we make it through with those being the only things amiss, besides my husband being tired and looking grumpy the entire time (I guess he and Best Man stayed up half the night BSing with his uncle and having a couple drinks). Now the ceremony is over and we have people heading to the hotel to set up for the reception. Pictures were a cluster, there was yelling, I started to cry again because I just wanted things to be done quickly, and my mom wanted her photographer she had come in take pictures that she promised to pay for. We still haven't gotten any of them from said photographer. After my parents were done with their part, they took off for the hotel and someone accidentally set some of the mac and cheese on fire, setting off the smoke alarms for the hotel. Can't say I cared too much because it wasn't the recipe I'd given my mom to make that she asked me to send her because I'm a picky eater as it is with my "touch of the tism" coupled with pregnancy making things worse. Eventually we get there, and things had gotten flip-flopped as to what was going on and when because Mom wanted it to go her way, MIL was trying to stick to the schedule I had made... It was great. Thank God for hubby's "Aunti B" that was able to take charge and be my voice and fix things where as my mom looked at MIL and Aunti B and said "I don't care, she's you're problem now". Honestly wasn't surprising from my mom. So we wait for every one to file in to the room we were supposed to start in, and I have to teach my brother how to press play on my phone for music. 🤦🏽♀️ Awesome. We get the Mother Son dance and the Father Daughter dance, and by then my husband was done with everything so we just had the food blessed and proceeded to the dining area. No newlywed dance for us. Still pretty upset about that. At this point I'm too upset to eat, but manage to nibble here and there. As things start to come down, Mom's friend (yes eyelash woman) comes up to me upset because I didn't warn her that the hotel had a pool so she didn't bring suits for her girls to swim in while everyone else was prepared. I informed her (and showed her) that on the event page for the wedding I wrote where everything was taking place and that the hotel had a pool they were free to enjoy. The same information everyone else had used before coming. Embarrassed, she left and just had her daughters swim in their underwear and diaper. At that point, everyone had eaten, we did the cake cutting with a little flare to try to lighten our spirits (picture included in regards to the end result. It started as a competition as to who's mason jar would collect the most money, the loser got the cake to the face. Hubby lost and it turned into a little game between us), and a lot of the ceremonial stuff was over so I started cleaning up (condition of being able to use the hotel for free for the event as an employee) and everyone started pitching in. The ceremony was at 3pm, reception around 4pm. We had everything cleaned up by 6:30pm, 7pm at the latest. Everyone that was staying in the hotel hung out for a bit, and my MIL and SIL (bless them) attempted to get the rest of the eyelash glue out of my eyes and managed to get a bit out with only one piece left before I had to stop. I got chewed out about how things went and how bad my parents looked with everything by my mom (OFC) and I decided to say screw it, packed up, and left for home with hubby, MOH and BM. If you thought that was the end of it, you're mistaken. The next day, after my amazing MOH got the last of the glue out of my eye, we saw everyone off, and we were to take off for our honeymoon (a Civil War town because there was quite a bit of fun there when I went, and Hubby hadn't been, and it was cheap). I convinced my dad to let us take the SUV because I had a bad feeling about my car. Thank God I did because despite the "new" engine, the car died on the highway not even 10 miles from home when I took it to work later on. Anyway, we make it to the hotel that had amazing reviews online to discover stains everywhere on the bed and stuff (ew), the pool was atrocious, and the water in the shower smelled like chemicals and started to burn my husband's face. So we checked out saying we had an emergency back home and had to leave. I called a nearby hotel in my brand I worked for and managed to get a room that is usually about $170 a night or so, for $60 a night. Thank God for them. The rest of the honeymoon went on well with almost no morning sickness, and no other issues. The only bout of morning sickness (which reiterates my desire to know why it's called that when it can happen anytime of day) happened when my husband was being sweet and shared some of his food with me he knew I generally liked. The baby decided "I don't like that", sending me to hug a trash can a little while after lunch. In the middle of the section of (Civil War Town). By the (civil war history specific) house. In the middle of afternoon traffic. The family ahead of us glared and started saying something about drunk people in the day 🙄 and my husband started laughing at the irony of it all. He took off to find me napkins to clean up and a good Samaritan stopped to ask if I was ok. I told him "I'm fine, just pregnant" and they chuckled then left. I managed to get cleaned up when hubby came back with the napkins and we continued on our way. For those wondering, we now have 2 healthy boys, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and have been happily married for 5 years in August. We still laugh about my eyes getting glued shut on our anniversary with our friends and how my wedding was a prime example of Murphy's Law. If it can go wrong, it will go wrong. |
2024.05.14 20:15 Daxmunro Mirena causing possible symptoms of IIH?
Hello. Posting here as so far, doctors haven't listened to my concerns. I got the Mirena IUD put in about 4 months ago as part of combined hormone treatment fora severe premenstrual condition.
Ever since, I have this pressure in my head that on a good day is about tolerable and on a bad day is God awful. It runs from the back of my neck and spine, up through my head.
My ears feel weird and behind my eyes aches a lot. I also started having heart palpitations about 3 weeks after insertion.
I guess my question is, has anyone else here developed IIH from Mirena IUD? I want to get mine out, ASAP, as some days this feels really concerning.
submitted by Daxmunro to iih [link] [comments]
Ever since, I have this pressure in my head that on a good day is about tolerable and on a bad day is God awful. It runs from the back of my neck and spine, up through my head.
My ears feel weird and behind my eyes aches a lot. I also started having heart palpitations about 3 weeks after insertion.
I guess my question is, has anyone else here developed IIH from Mirena IUD? I want to get mine out, ASAP, as some days this feels really concerning.
2024.05.14 20:12 sillybilly351 Moderate Day Hikes for August
Hello! I'm visiting Vancouver for the first time this August, and am so excited to check out the hiking scene. Only tricky part is I won't have a car, so I'll be relying on Uber to drop me off and pick me up. I was hoping to get a couple recommendations for moderately challenging day hikes that I'll be able to Uber to. (so maybe an hourish away from the city?) Bonus points for beautiful views and water features :) All recommendations are appreciated!!
submitted by sillybilly351 to vancouverhiking [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 20:09 _L_U_N_E_ Switching from Salt to Fresh
Hi! So I have a 32.5 Gal (123L) Fluval Sea Flex Tank. We tried doing salt water for 2years and it was not working out, in the end we got a parasite infestation and it klld EVERYTHING. I’ve decided to go back to fresh water as i have experience with this kind of water. I need help for the next steps: - The tank is now completely empty (except for a few mini rocks here and there and dried up salt) - I deep cleaned all the equipment but I believe there might be some algea still hiding in some parts. (Like the backside of the tank for the equipment) (If you know the fluval tanks , you know its a pain to clean)
I was thinking about doing a few cyclings of only water.. should i add algea remover during the process?
Any tips and recommendations on how to go about this? Thank you! (Or should I say Tank You lol)
submitted by _L_U_N_E_ to fishtank [link] [comments]
I was thinking about doing a few cyclings of only water.. should i add algea remover during the process?
Any tips and recommendations on how to go about this? Thank you! (Or should I say Tank You lol)
2024.05.14 20:05 Deity_Elysian (Selling) 4K’s (default unless noted) & Blu Ray digital codes-requesting PayPal
Avatar: The Way of Water - MA - $7
Christmas Vacation - MA - $4
The Crow - paramountmovies.com - $6
[SOLD]Doctor Strange: Multiverse of Madness - MA
Dune Part 2 - MA - $9
Eternals - MA - $5
The Expendables - lionsgate.com/redeem - $5
The Expendables 2 - lionsgate.com/redeem - $5
The Expendables 3 - lionsgate.com/redeem - $5
(Expendables 1-3 $12)
Fast X - MA - $6
Hunger Games: Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes - lionsgate.com/redeem - $8
The Italian Job - paramountmovies.com - $5
Kick Ass 2 - MA - $6
Lightyear - MA - $5
Looper - MA - $6
Naked Gun (x2) - paramountmovies.com - $4
Nightmare Before Christmas - MA - $6
No Time To Die - iTunes.com/redeem - $7
The Nun 2 (Blu Ray) - MA - $5
The Nun 2 (4K) - MA - $7
Scream 6 - paramountmovies.com - $7
Shrek the Third - MA - $6
[SOLD]Thor: Love and Thunder - MA
Top Gun Maverick - paramountmovies.com (iTunes) - $6
submitted by Deity_Elysian to DigitalCodeSELL [link] [comments]
Christmas Vacation - MA - $4
The Crow - paramountmovies.com - $6
[SOLD]Doctor Strange: Multiverse of Madness - MA
Dune Part 2 - MA - $9
Eternals - MA - $5
The Expendables - lionsgate.com/redeem - $5
The Expendables 2 - lionsgate.com/redeem - $5
The Expendables 3 - lionsgate.com/redeem - $5
(Expendables 1-3 $12)
Fast X - MA - $6
Hunger Games: Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes - lionsgate.com/redeem - $8
The Italian Job - paramountmovies.com - $5
Kick Ass 2 - MA - $6
Lightyear - MA - $5
Looper - MA - $6
Naked Gun (x2) - paramountmovies.com - $4
Nightmare Before Christmas - MA - $6
No Time To Die - iTunes.com/redeem - $7
The Nun 2 (Blu Ray) - MA - $5
The Nun 2 (4K) - MA - $7
Scream 6 - paramountmovies.com - $7
Shrek the Third - MA - $6
[SOLD]Thor: Love and Thunder - MA
Top Gun Maverick - paramountmovies.com (iTunes) - $6
2024.05.14 20:04 Pizza_Horse Where Can I Get A Decent Iced Coffee!?
 | Dunks is watered down so hard that a single creamer turns it white. McD's even more so and Cumbies is pretty light. Marylous iced has like one part coffee per million molecules. Does anyone know a place that doesn't water their iced coffee down to an absurd degree??? submitted by Pizza_Horse to boston [link] [comments] |
2024.05.14 20:01 amiriteamiriteno 4 ish week old kitten has ringworm, now I have ringworm. Would love to hear from others going through this.
The cat distribution system chose me about two weeks ago now. She is an itty bitty calico who was found with an abandoned litter of 4 out her kittens who are about two weeks older than her. When we took them to the animal shelter, the other four older kitties all had ringworm and she did not. Since she is so small, she is not technically adoptable so the clinic registered me as a foster, and gave us all the supplies we could need to help her make it through. They said her chances were 50/50. We brought her home and tried formula on this severely underweight kitty until we brought har back to the clinic three days later and they advised us to switch to wet food. She finally started gaining substantial amounts of weight (20 ish grams a day) and she was getting stronger and more confident. She had urea scald on her entire underside and arms and legs. And I think that’s what allowed the ringworm to have space to expand quickly. I was checking her daily with the black light and until Saturday night we didn’t see any glowing, just crusty skin that seemed to be healing from the scalding. We took her back to the clinic on Sunday. They gave us oral medication for her and O2 pure oxygen shampoo and told us to bring her back next weekend to weight her and tooth brush culture again. She’s on a 5-week regimen (on a week, off a week of the oral meds) and two baths a week. She’s been sequestered to the bathroom and I just feel terrible. I live in a small apartment, just a living area, bedroom, and bathroom. There’s no windows in the bathroom. She’s completely isolated and I’ve tried to make it cozy for her in there with interactive toys (plastic and can be disinfected) and washable mice toys. I have another cat as well and before the ringworm popped up the kitten had been set up in the living room in a blue kitty pool with blankets, litter box, heating pad and food/water so she could at least be a part of life. My older cat mostly stayed away. And would observe hesniff near her occasionally. My spouse and I spent the entire day cleaning on Sunday. Bleached the floors, lysoled the couch and carpets. Washed all of the pillows, blankets, bedding with disinfecting laundry detergent. This morning I was cleaning the bathroom, changing out her blankets, the floors, counters, etc and scratched my arm. I noticed a circular flakey patch and it’s disheartening. I’m really hoping my mature cat doesn’t get this as well. I lost my job last Monday, so I have the time to be home and take care of her, spend time in there with her, and clean. My spouse is on an extended work trip for the next month at least. I’m supposed to move at the end of July and I know this can be quite the extensive process and it’s just all hitting me. I just would love to hear any tips any of you may have, as well as success stories to give me some hope getting through this. I just feel so guilty that she’s alone and we can’t cuddle like we did before (probably how I have myself ringworm lol) and i don’t want this to change her adorably loving personality. Thanks in advance.
submitted by amiriteamiriteno to CatAdvice [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 20:01 Tizzy617_ Reflection of my first solo trip to Japan
A candid reflection of my first solo trip:
It was on my first night in Japan that I forgot I was alone. Tokyo’s Shinjuku district greeted me with bright neon lights illuminating flocks of tourists walking shops, arcades, and food stands. And somehow, I was a very small part of it, all by myself on the other side of the world. (Maybe with the occasional tout trying to follow me around.)
Solitude is a vulnerable state, and consequently, a compromise. You seize the moment for yourself, and the space is only yours to fill, but intrusive thoughts will covertly slip through and permeate like a disease. Underneath all the lights, humanity surrounded me, enjoying a drink with friends or snapshotting a moment with family. All these people congregated here from around the world, and in spite of their differences, companionship was what they all shared together. The streets filled with the sounds of their life.
But when you feel alone, the mind tricks you into believing that you are not part of it. And you become a silent spectator, watching the phenomenon that is humanity being orchestrated in front of you. It’s a hollow feeling.
And after not speaking and hearing the sound of your own voice for a while, it becomes replaced by a solemn tone whispering empty thoughts. I tried not to listen.
Nevertheless, Tokyo was beautiful (Senso-ji temple was stunning and my favorite Japanese dessert is now age manju). One night, I even went to a Japanese hip-hop show in Shibuya and it was a wonderful experience. Getting to watch such extremely talented artists so passionate about their craft inspired me and pulled me away from ruminating loneliness for some time. I met one of the performing artists after the show and told him how much I loved his verse (despite not understanding it) and we hugged and he cried. He thanked me over and over until he started apologizing for thanking me so much. It was a special moment and I will always remember his humility. (His band is KOMOREBI - check them out!).
I also went out with some other travelers that night, trying okonomiyaki in Setagaya for the first time (it was mouthful bliss) and then went out to a punk rock concert, and a night club. I wasn’t a huge fan of the clubbing, but the company was refreshing. And like all good things, it was fleeting, and I bid my farewell to everyone that night.
I packed my things, and took a bullet train to my next stop, Kyoto. I was anticipating it, as the train zoomed south with Mount Fuji in surreal, passing view. Looking out the window, seeing my own transparent reflection, I took a breath. The train was moving at around 300 km/hour, but everything felt still and quiet. Even the parts of me that wanted to cry.
Kyoto was rich with temples and vestiges of a long, cherished history. I visited the Kyoto National Museum where I saw sculptured deities with venerable auras, parables scripted in decayed scrolls, and art that embodied Buddhist principles. I saw elevated temples monumental and grand, and others more modest and reserved. But they all stood resolutely, bearing the resilience of time and constant revival. They have felt desecration during arson and natural disasters, but throughout history, the Japanese have rebuilt and renovated them. And somehow, after enduring all this, as long as time has persisted, here they stood before me, as a testament to strength and preservation.
The long-lasting principles of Buddhism and the culture that were so deeply rooted in this country’s history must continue to live on through the structures that stood before me. Purpose is enough to withstand the cruelty of time’s passage. And the cycle of destruction and restoration that traced centuries was felt in the emanating silence only occupied by the sounds of water trickling down a rill or the occasional soft, swaying of trees. I like to think that ancient silence had touched my existence in those moments and advised me to listen.
Solitude is painful because the empty space that comes with it is congregated by the deeper parts of ourselves that seek to dwell on the purpose of our existence. It is when we are alone and quiet that obtrusive questions confront us, invoking us to listen and contemplate. And when we fail to answer gracefully, that is when the loudest and most self-destructive parts of ourselves will answer for us. The parts that are so keen in stripping our humanity from us.
After my last day in Kyoto, I packed all my things once again, and went over to my final destination, Osaka. I had only one night there. And it was an abrupt return to bustling crowds in the metropolitan. Existential silences were replaced with the sounds of humanity again. But as I walked through Dotonbori on a Friday night eating lots of warm, delicious takoyaki and skewers of Kobe beef, that feeling still returned. I knew I was unwell. And trivialities started to begrudge me and I could tell that it was time. And there would be no escaping it.
I took a taxi back to my hotel and I laid in my bed earlier than expected that night. And everything finally spilled. I cried and I cried and I cried. I was finally listening and it hurt doing so.
This solo trip was supposed to help me escape my problems, but it didn’t. When I brought myself here, I brought everything, and that included problems I wish I could have left behind. And amidst my issues, I questioned myself and my place in the world, even my very reasons for existing during times I felt like I had nobody. And albeit having wonderful moments with people throughout my trip, even strangers who treated me with grace and hospitality, that feeling still lingered and it was revealing a deeper issue. An issue not with whether I was in Japan or back home. Or whether I had people around me or I was alone. It was a deeper issue with myself.
But the silence that comes after the storm is just as serene as the silence that precedes. The older I get, the more I begin to have a respect for emotions and their function. They must be felt and I don’t think they are there to harm or sabotage us, although it might seem like it. It is a need to be heard not by others, but by ourselves. Listening to our own cries for help is scary and uncomfortable, but the silence that follows is like an aged temple still standing after centuries of cyclical adversity. Like the calm flow of water down a rill. Like the soft swaying of trees.
My 10-day solo trip was coming to an end. It was coming time to go home. I spent my last day in Tokyo walking Yoyogi Park. The sky was a clear melancholy overhead scattered, naked trees around the park. I saw couples sitting together, friends circled on picnic blankets, and some reading a book by themselves. Humanity felt beautiful that day and I was grateful to be a part of it, one last time. I packed my things once more before taking my flight back home the next day.
I love Japan and I am grateful it carved a space for me to experience all that I did. This trip will forever hold a special place in my heart. But it was not an epiphany, as much as I wished it was. I did not return home as an entirely new person with newfound happiness or certainty. I returned with the same issues I left with, the same, flawed self that was proof of what it meant to be human this whole time. Only with new experiences. And I don’t think that will change.
My humanity lives in my constant struggle of self-preservation, as I continue to unravel and understand myself as I experience, feel, and change. And perhaps that is enough purpose for my own existence, to strive for those moments of silence, where I will continue to stand resolutely in my own imperfection, alone or not.
submitted by Tizzy617_ to travel [link] [comments]
It was on my first night in Japan that I forgot I was alone. Tokyo’s Shinjuku district greeted me with bright neon lights illuminating flocks of tourists walking shops, arcades, and food stands. And somehow, I was a very small part of it, all by myself on the other side of the world. (Maybe with the occasional tout trying to follow me around.)
Solitude is a vulnerable state, and consequently, a compromise. You seize the moment for yourself, and the space is only yours to fill, but intrusive thoughts will covertly slip through and permeate like a disease. Underneath all the lights, humanity surrounded me, enjoying a drink with friends or snapshotting a moment with family. All these people congregated here from around the world, and in spite of their differences, companionship was what they all shared together. The streets filled with the sounds of their life.
But when you feel alone, the mind tricks you into believing that you are not part of it. And you become a silent spectator, watching the phenomenon that is humanity being orchestrated in front of you. It’s a hollow feeling.
And after not speaking and hearing the sound of your own voice for a while, it becomes replaced by a solemn tone whispering empty thoughts. I tried not to listen.
Nevertheless, Tokyo was beautiful (Senso-ji temple was stunning and my favorite Japanese dessert is now age manju). One night, I even went to a Japanese hip-hop show in Shibuya and it was a wonderful experience. Getting to watch such extremely talented artists so passionate about their craft inspired me and pulled me away from ruminating loneliness for some time. I met one of the performing artists after the show and told him how much I loved his verse (despite not understanding it) and we hugged and he cried. He thanked me over and over until he started apologizing for thanking me so much. It was a special moment and I will always remember his humility. (His band is KOMOREBI - check them out!).
I also went out with some other travelers that night, trying okonomiyaki in Setagaya for the first time (it was mouthful bliss) and then went out to a punk rock concert, and a night club. I wasn’t a huge fan of the clubbing, but the company was refreshing. And like all good things, it was fleeting, and I bid my farewell to everyone that night.
I packed my things, and took a bullet train to my next stop, Kyoto. I was anticipating it, as the train zoomed south with Mount Fuji in surreal, passing view. Looking out the window, seeing my own transparent reflection, I took a breath. The train was moving at around 300 km/hour, but everything felt still and quiet. Even the parts of me that wanted to cry.
Kyoto was rich with temples and vestiges of a long, cherished history. I visited the Kyoto National Museum where I saw sculptured deities with venerable auras, parables scripted in decayed scrolls, and art that embodied Buddhist principles. I saw elevated temples monumental and grand, and others more modest and reserved. But they all stood resolutely, bearing the resilience of time and constant revival. They have felt desecration during arson and natural disasters, but throughout history, the Japanese have rebuilt and renovated them. And somehow, after enduring all this, as long as time has persisted, here they stood before me, as a testament to strength and preservation.
The long-lasting principles of Buddhism and the culture that were so deeply rooted in this country’s history must continue to live on through the structures that stood before me. Purpose is enough to withstand the cruelty of time’s passage. And the cycle of destruction and restoration that traced centuries was felt in the emanating silence only occupied by the sounds of water trickling down a rill or the occasional soft, swaying of trees. I like to think that ancient silence had touched my existence in those moments and advised me to listen.
Solitude is painful because the empty space that comes with it is congregated by the deeper parts of ourselves that seek to dwell on the purpose of our existence. It is when we are alone and quiet that obtrusive questions confront us, invoking us to listen and contemplate. And when we fail to answer gracefully, that is when the loudest and most self-destructive parts of ourselves will answer for us. The parts that are so keen in stripping our humanity from us.
After my last day in Kyoto, I packed all my things once again, and went over to my final destination, Osaka. I had only one night there. And it was an abrupt return to bustling crowds in the metropolitan. Existential silences were replaced with the sounds of humanity again. But as I walked through Dotonbori on a Friday night eating lots of warm, delicious takoyaki and skewers of Kobe beef, that feeling still returned. I knew I was unwell. And trivialities started to begrudge me and I could tell that it was time. And there would be no escaping it.
I took a taxi back to my hotel and I laid in my bed earlier than expected that night. And everything finally spilled. I cried and I cried and I cried. I was finally listening and it hurt doing so.
This solo trip was supposed to help me escape my problems, but it didn’t. When I brought myself here, I brought everything, and that included problems I wish I could have left behind. And amidst my issues, I questioned myself and my place in the world, even my very reasons for existing during times I felt like I had nobody. And albeit having wonderful moments with people throughout my trip, even strangers who treated me with grace and hospitality, that feeling still lingered and it was revealing a deeper issue. An issue not with whether I was in Japan or back home. Or whether I had people around me or I was alone. It was a deeper issue with myself.
But the silence that comes after the storm is just as serene as the silence that precedes. The older I get, the more I begin to have a respect for emotions and their function. They must be felt and I don’t think they are there to harm or sabotage us, although it might seem like it. It is a need to be heard not by others, but by ourselves. Listening to our own cries for help is scary and uncomfortable, but the silence that follows is like an aged temple still standing after centuries of cyclical adversity. Like the calm flow of water down a rill. Like the soft swaying of trees.
My 10-day solo trip was coming to an end. It was coming time to go home. I spent my last day in Tokyo walking Yoyogi Park. The sky was a clear melancholy overhead scattered, naked trees around the park. I saw couples sitting together, friends circled on picnic blankets, and some reading a book by themselves. Humanity felt beautiful that day and I was grateful to be a part of it, one last time. I packed my things once more before taking my flight back home the next day.
I love Japan and I am grateful it carved a space for me to experience all that I did. This trip will forever hold a special place in my heart. But it was not an epiphany, as much as I wished it was. I did not return home as an entirely new person with newfound happiness or certainty. I returned with the same issues I left with, the same, flawed self that was proof of what it meant to be human this whole time. Only with new experiences. And I don’t think that will change.
My humanity lives in my constant struggle of self-preservation, as I continue to unravel and understand myself as I experience, feel, and change. And perhaps that is enough purpose for my own existence, to strive for those moments of silence, where I will continue to stand resolutely in my own imperfection, alone or not.
2024.05.14 20:01 TheSxyCauc How to get around clammy hands?
I’m a colder person in general, it takes a lot for me to feel hot. However recently I’ve been playing a lot more live gigs where I’m doing super fast stuff where I need every ounce of dexterity. However, now with summer coming around, everywhere has cold ass ac blasting. I’m not too worried about the outside shows, but I also live in the south so it’s humid, so if I’m outside my hands are just super wet feeling.
Obviously this is a part of live music, there are way more variables than in the comfort of your own home. I’m just struggling though, one of the regular gigs I do is sort of a experimental prog metal thing where I’m doing nothing but synth arpeggios the whole time. Clammy and/or oily hands just give me a really hard time. My keyboards are clean and so are my hands. I always rinse with water before I play.
Recently I’ve started putting my hands in ice water for like 3 min and then going through whatever set I’m playing. And it usually takes 30 min to go completely back to normal and not slow motion. I figure if I can’t escape slow motion, clammy hands I might as well get good at having them. But is there a way to mitigate the clamminess?
submitted by TheSxyCauc to piano [link] [comments]
Obviously this is a part of live music, there are way more variables than in the comfort of your own home. I’m just struggling though, one of the regular gigs I do is sort of a experimental prog metal thing where I’m doing nothing but synth arpeggios the whole time. Clammy and/or oily hands just give me a really hard time. My keyboards are clean and so are my hands. I always rinse with water before I play.
Recently I’ve started putting my hands in ice water for like 3 min and then going through whatever set I’m playing. And it usually takes 30 min to go completely back to normal and not slow motion. I figure if I can’t escape slow motion, clammy hands I might as well get good at having them. But is there a way to mitigate the clamminess?
2024.05.14 20:00 Legal_Carpet_7978 Orthodontist From Hell: Failed Palatal Expansion
I’m reaching out to share a cautionary tale about my recent experience with orthodontic treatment gone wrong. I want to shed light on my situation, and seek advice on how to navigate this current situation.
Background:
I received orthodontic treatment from Dr. Nancy Phan in San Jose CA. During our initial consultation, she was pressed for time and sped through the explanation of my treatment plan. All I understood from her rapid explanation was that she recommended a palatal expander to widen my upper & lower jaw. However, what followed was a nightmare that left me with damaged teeth and a mountain of dental bills.
Dr. Nancy Phan has a practice called Care Orthodontics, where she has a bunch of watered down assistants doing her job for her. It's literally a pump and dump orthodontist place where they try to manage as many patients as possible. As a result, Dr. Nancy Phan doesn't have any assistants helping her while she's treating you. She literally holds the vacuum, water spray, and drill all at the same time... To me, this is the equivalent of a nurse giving you surgery, or the surgeon is performing surgery without any assistants nearby.
The Problem:
During the installation of the palatal expander, my orthodontist failed to properly assess the condition of my molars. One of these molars had a pre-existing fracture, which my orthodontist was aware of but chose to ignore. As a result, the appliance was placed in a way that directly impacted the roots of two of my molars.
The Consequences:
Within weeks of having the palatal expander installed, I started experiencing excruciating pain in the affected molars. A visit to my dentist confirmed the worst: both molars had sustained significant damage to their roots and required immediate intervention. I underwent root canal treatments followed by the placement of crowns on both molars, not to mention the emotional and physical toll of dealing with such dental trauma.
Legal Considerations:
Now, here’s where things get tricky. It’s clear that my orthodontist’s negligence led to the damage to my teeth. They failed to obtain clearance from my dentist before proceeding with the treatment, and they disregarded crucial information about the condition of my teeth. This raises serious questions about the standard of care provided by the orthodontist.
How to Proceed:
This experience has been extremely traumatic and sad for me. Has anyone faced a similar situation? Seeking advice on navigating the denial and addressing the dental damage.
submitted by Legal_Carpet_7978 to orthotropics [link] [comments]
Background:
I received orthodontic treatment from Dr. Nancy Phan in San Jose CA. During our initial consultation, she was pressed for time and sped through the explanation of my treatment plan. All I understood from her rapid explanation was that she recommended a palatal expander to widen my upper & lower jaw. However, what followed was a nightmare that left me with damaged teeth and a mountain of dental bills.
Dr. Nancy Phan has a practice called Care Orthodontics, where she has a bunch of watered down assistants doing her job for her. It's literally a pump and dump orthodontist place where they try to manage as many patients as possible. As a result, Dr. Nancy Phan doesn't have any assistants helping her while she's treating you. She literally holds the vacuum, water spray, and drill all at the same time... To me, this is the equivalent of a nurse giving you surgery, or the surgeon is performing surgery without any assistants nearby.
The Problem:
During the installation of the palatal expander, my orthodontist failed to properly assess the condition of my molars. One of these molars had a pre-existing fracture, which my orthodontist was aware of but chose to ignore. As a result, the appliance was placed in a way that directly impacted the roots of two of my molars.
The Consequences:
Within weeks of having the palatal expander installed, I started experiencing excruciating pain in the affected molars. A visit to my dentist confirmed the worst: both molars had sustained significant damage to their roots and required immediate intervention. I underwent root canal treatments followed by the placement of crowns on both molars, not to mention the emotional and physical toll of dealing with such dental trauma.
Legal Considerations:
Now, here’s where things get tricky. It’s clear that my orthodontist’s negligence led to the damage to my teeth. They failed to obtain clearance from my dentist before proceeding with the treatment, and they disregarded crucial information about the condition of my teeth. This raises serious questions about the standard of care provided by the orthodontist.
How to Proceed:
This experience has been extremely traumatic and sad for me. Has anyone faced a similar situation? Seeking advice on navigating the denial and addressing the dental damage.
2024.05.14 19:59 WhirlwindO00oo Help with Bonnie Spider Plant
 | I recently received 3 curly. (Bonnie) spider plants. They are all located in different parts of my house but one of them no matter where I put it seems to have these dark brown spots running down the leaves. It’s not overwatered, I even recently repotted thinking it needed better soil. It’s not far from a window but doesn’t get direct light, I typically water my plants weekly in the winter because it’s dryer and every other week in the summer unless they’re super dry. Should I be removing the leaves… What can I do? submitted by WhirlwindO00oo to plantclinic [link] [comments] |
2024.05.14 19:59 NeedleworkerHuge6526 Genetic (probably) dark circles/puffy eyes.
 | Hey everyone, 35M here submitted by NeedleworkerHuge6526 to beauty [link] [comments] So, I've recently become more aware of my dark circles and puffy eyes, and it's been a bit of a downer. Initially, I chalked it up to lack of sleep—I typically get around 6-7 hours a night, which has been my norm for as long as I can remember. But despite my efforts, like upping my water intake, dabbling with cold compresses, and even religiously applying a vitamin C cream under my eyes for almost two months now, I haven't seen much improvement. What's really got me bummed is that upon scrutinizing some older photos of mine, it seems this "condition" has been lurking in the background for a while, and I just never paid much attention to it until now. It's starting to take a toll on my self-confidence, especially since I constantly feel like I look tired, to the point where I find myself editing photos before I'm comfortable sharing them online. I'd really appreciate any advice or recommendations you might have. What steps should I take before considering more serious treatments or procedures? Any tried-and-tested remedies or lifestyle changes you swear by? Thanks in advance for your help. Here's a photo for reference. Thanks again! https://preview.redd.it/cqjeeeb5lf0d1.jpg?width=1278&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=844e18e62d03e43f3247c4e15de98e8c570a29b1 |
2024.05.14 19:58 ArkOfTheCube Nukes are a hoax. Don’t let decades of Illuminati programming fool you
 | The following documentary explores the surprisingly abundant evidence that nuclear weapons are a hoax. submitted by ArkOfTheCube to AgainstTheIlluminati [link] [comments] https://www.nytimes.com/1945/11/03/archives/seversky-limits-atom-bomb-power-likens-hiroshima-blow-to-one-by-200.html This man actually analysed the city of Hiroshima after the act and testified the following: "In Hiroshima I was prepared for radically different sights. But, to my surprise, Hiroshima looked exactly like all the other burned-out cities in Japan. There was a familiar pink blot, about two miles in diameter. It was dotted with charred trees and telephone poles. Only one of the cities twenty bridges was down. Hiroshima’s clusters of modern buildings in the downtown section stood upright. It was obvious that the blast could not have been so powerful as we had been led to believe. It was extensive blast rather than intensive. I had heard of buildings instantly consumed by unprecedented heat. Yet here I saw the buildings structurally intact, and what is more, topped by undamaged flag poles, lightning rods, painted railings, air raid precaution signs and other comparatively fragile objects. At the T-bridge, the aiming point for the atomic bomb, I looked for the “bald spot” where everything presumably had been vaporized in the twinkling of an eye. It wasn’t there or anywhere else. I could find no traces of unusual phenomena. What I did see was in substance a replica of Yokohama or Osaka, or the Tokyo suburbs – the familiar residue of an area of wood and brick houses razed by uncontrollable fire. Everywhere I saw the trunks of charred and leafless trees, burned and unburned chunks of wood. The fire had been intense enough to bend and twist steel girders and to melt glass until it ran like lava – just as in other Japanese cities. The concrete buildings nearest to the centre of explosion, some only a few blocks from the heart of the atom blast, showed no structural damage. Even cornices, canopies and delicate exterior decorations were intact. Window glass was shattered, of course, but single-panel frames held firm; only window frames of two or more panels were bent and buckled. The blast impact therefore could not have been unusual." Additionally: https://www.nytimes.com/1990/08/01/us/hiroshima-study-finds-no-genetic-damage.html This study was never published for some reason. I’ve been to both Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The whole thing is propaganda. There isn’t a trace of residual radiation anywhere in either city. I checked using a Geiger counter purchased after the “Fukushima” nuclear hoax, which at the time I thought was real. The few bits of footage of the nukes exploding is laughable. It’s Hollywood effects, matte screens and identical mushroom clouds composited for different angles. Totally fake. There is a reason these magical super weapons have never been used for an act of “terrorism” or in any war zone since and it has nothing to do with mutually assured destruction, unless you take that to mean the global unravelling of the lie itself. It’s because nukes don’t exist, have never existed and cannot be made to work. They are a myth. While looking for info on how "feasible" an all out thermonuclear war scenario was, because I already figured that nuclear weapons are a joke and a remnant way of thought from the Cold War era of thinking, I stumbled upon this massive article about the supposed Nuclear Weapons hoax. Some highlights of it, after skimming through it last night include:
Here it is, divided in 9 parts. The people and organizations creating the lies: https://heiwaco.com/bomb.htm The atomic bomb killed nobody in Japan: https://heiwaco.com/bombpart2.htm How does an atomic bomb work? It doesn't! https://heiwaco.com/bombpart3.htm Plenty O' manipulations: https://heiwaco.com/bombpart4.htm Explosive fission is a scam: https://heiwaco.com/bombpart5.htm All about real fission: https://heiwaco.com/bombpart6.htm The fake B-61 atomic bombs: https://heiwaco.com/bombpart7.htm All about no radiation at Fukushima: https://heiwaco.com/bombpart8.htm About radiation itself: https://heiwaco.com/bombpart9.htm The destruction of Hiroshima and Nagasaki appear not to be the result of one large explosion, but rather the result of a fire-bombing campaign comparable in pictures to Tokyo's fire-bombed remains. Hiroshima and Nagasaki also never experienced anything like the hundreds or thousands of years of radiation predicted by nuclear scientists, in fact, vegetation began growing within a month after the bombing, and the Japanese people began rebuilding almost immediately! Some nuclear physicists even claim nuclear weaponry fraudulent based solely on the technical impossibilities of fission material not to be incinerated before triggering the necessary nuclear chain reaction. Tesla even famously tried to split the atom him self and came to the conclusion it didn't release energy: "Let me say that has nothing to do with releasing so-called atomic energy. There is no such energy in the sense usually meant. With my currents, using pressures as high as 15,000,000 volts, the highest ever used, I have split atoms — but no energy was released. I confess that before I made this experiment I was in some fear. I said to my assistants, ‘I do not know what will happen. If the conclusions of certain scientists are right, the release of energy from the splitting of an atom may mean an explosion which would wreck our apparatus and perhaps kill someone. Is that understood?’ My assistants urged me to perform the experiment and I did so. I shattered atoms again and again. But no appreciable energy was released." This was from an interview he did with time magazine back in 1931 so it made me wonder if these anti nuke guys were on to something. The government has a lot of reasons to create a weapon of mass destruction psyop it spreads fear porn thats one thing and convinces people they can cause nuclear armageddon at the flick of a button. Einstein as some people know tried to steal Tesla's spotlight putting him into obscurity but his technology and experiments were very peculiar and show us there's a lot of high strangeness about this reality that's still not well understood. Also In 1986, Galen Winsor a Nuclear physicist Exposed the Nuclear fear scam by licking a pile of highly radioactive uranium off the palm of his hand and ignite a chunk of plutonium into a shower of flaming dust to show how safe these materials were. The guy also drank reactor cooling pool water for fun and liked to go swimming in the pool to relax. |
2024.05.14 19:57 Tizzy617_ A candid reflection of my first solo trip
A Silence Abroad
It was on my first night in Japan that I forgot I was alone. Tokyo’s Shinjuku district greeted me with bright neon lights illuminating flocks of tourists walking shops, arcades, and food stands. And somehow, I was a very small part of it, all by myself on the other side of the world. (Maybe with the occasional tout trying to follow me around.)
Solitude is a vulnerable state, and consequently, a compromise. You seize the moment for yourself, and the space is only yours to fill, but intrusive thoughts will covertly slip through and permeate like a disease. Underneath all the lights, humanity surrounded me, enjoying a drink with friends or snapshotting a moment with family. All these people congregated here from around the world, and in spite of their differences, companionship was what they all shared together. The streets filled with the sounds of their life.
But when you feel alone, the mind tricks you into believing that you are not part of it. And you become a silent spectator, watching the phenomenon that is humanity being orchestrated in front of you. It’s a hollow feeling.
And after not speaking and hearing the sound of your own voice for a while, it becomes replaced by a solemn tone whispering empty thoughts. I tried not to listen.
Nevertheless, Tokyo was beautiful (Senso-ji temple was stunning and my favorite Japanese dessert is now age manju). One night, I even went to a Japanese hip-hop show in Shibuya and it was a wonderful experience. Getting to watch such extremely talented artists so passionate about their craft inspired me and pulled me away from ruminating loneliness for some time. I met one of the performing artists after the show and told him how much I loved his verse (despite not understanding it) and we hugged and he cried. He thanked me over and over until he started apologizing for thanking me so much. It was a special moment and I will always remember his humility. (His band is KOMOREBI - check them out!).
I also went out with some other travelers that night, trying okonomiyaki in Setagaya for the first time (it was mouthful bliss) and then went out to a punk rock concert, and a night club. I wasn’t a huge fan of the clubbing, but the company was refreshing. And like all good things, it was fleeting, and I bid my farewell to everyone that night.
I packed my things, and took a bullet train to my next stop, Kyoto. I was anticipating it, as the train zoomed south with Mount Fuji in surreal, passing view. Looking out the window, seeing my own transparent reflection, I took a breath. The train was moving at around 300 km/hour, but everything felt still and quiet. Even the parts of me that wanted to cry.
Kyoto was rich with temples and vestiges of a long, cherished history. I visited the Kyoto National Museum where I saw sculptured deities with venerable auras, parables scripted in decayed scrolls, and art that embodied Buddhist principles. I saw elevated temples monumental and grand, and others more modest and reserved. But they all stood resolutely, bearing the resilience of time and constant revival. They have felt desecration during arson and natural disasters, but throughout history, the Japanese have rebuilt and renovated them. And somehow, after enduring all this, as long as time has persisted, here they stood before me, as a testament to strength and preservation.
The long-lasting principles of Buddhism and the culture that were so deeply rooted in this country’s history must continue to live on through the structures that stood before me. Purpose is enough to withstand the cruelty of time’s passage. And the cycle of destruction and restoration that traced centuries was felt in the emanating silence only occupied by the sounds of water trickling down a rill or the occasional soft, swaying of trees. I like to think that ancient silence had touched my existence in those moments and advised me to listen.
Solitude is painful because the empty space that comes with it is congregated by the deeper parts of ourselves that seek to dwell on the purpose of our existence. It is when we are alone and quiet that obtrusive questions confront us, invoking us to listen and contemplate. And when we fail to answer gracefully, that is when the loudest and most self-destructive parts of ourselves will answer for us. The parts that are so keen in stripping our humanity from us.
After my last day in Kyoto, I packed all my things once again, and went over to my final destination, Osaka. I had only one night there. And it was an abrupt return to bustling crowds in the metropolitan. Existential silences were replaced with the sounds of humanity again. But as I walked through Dotonbori on a Friday night eating lots of warm, delicious takoyaki and skewers of Kobe beef, that feeling still returned. I knew I was unwell. And trivialities started to begrudge me and I could tell that it was time. And there would be no escaping it.
I took a taxi back to my hotel and I laid in my bed earlier than expected that night. And everything finally spilled. I cried and I cried and I cried. I was finally listening and it hurt doing so.
This solo trip was supposed to help me escape my problems, but it didn’t. When I brought myself here, I brought everything, and that included problems I wish I could have left behind. And amidst my issues, I questioned myself and my place in the world, even my very reasons for existing during times I felt like I had nobody. And albeit having wonderful moments with people throughout my trip, even strangers who treated me with grace and hospitality, that feeling still lingered and it was revealing a deeper issue. An issue not with whether I was in Japan or back home. Or whether I had people around me or I was alone. It was a deeper issue with myself.
But the silence that comes after the storm is just as serene as the silence that precedes. The older I get, the more I begin to have a respect for emotions and their function. They must be felt and I don’t think they are there to harm or sabotage us, although it might seem like it. It is a need to be heard not by others, but by ourselves. Listening to our own cries for help is scary and uncomfortable, but the silence that follows is like an aged temple still standing after centuries of cyclical adversity. Like the calm flow of water down a rill. Like the soft swaying of trees.
My 10-day solo trip was coming to an end. It was coming time to go home. I spent my last day in Tokyo walking Yoyogi Park. The sky was a clear melancholy overhead scattered, naked trees around the park. I saw couples sitting together, friends circled on picnic blankets, and some reading a book by themselves. Humanity felt beautiful that day and I was grateful to be a part of it, one last time. I packed my things once more before taking my flight back home the next day.
I love Japan and I am grateful it carved a space for me to experience all that I did. This trip will forever hold a special place in my heart. But it was not an epiphany, as much as I wished it was. I did not return home as an entirely new person with newfound happiness or certainty. I returned with the same issues I left with, the same, flawed self that was proof of what it meant to be human this whole time. Only with new experiences. And I don’t think that will change.
My humanity lives in my constant struggle of self-preservation, as I continue to unravel and understand myself as I experience, feel, and change. And perhaps that is enough purpose for my own existence, to strive for those moments of silence, where I will continue to stand resolutely in my own imperfection, alone or not.
submitted by Tizzy617_ to solotravel [link] [comments]
It was on my first night in Japan that I forgot I was alone. Tokyo’s Shinjuku district greeted me with bright neon lights illuminating flocks of tourists walking shops, arcades, and food stands. And somehow, I was a very small part of it, all by myself on the other side of the world. (Maybe with the occasional tout trying to follow me around.)
Solitude is a vulnerable state, and consequently, a compromise. You seize the moment for yourself, and the space is only yours to fill, but intrusive thoughts will covertly slip through and permeate like a disease. Underneath all the lights, humanity surrounded me, enjoying a drink with friends or snapshotting a moment with family. All these people congregated here from around the world, and in spite of their differences, companionship was what they all shared together. The streets filled with the sounds of their life.
But when you feel alone, the mind tricks you into believing that you are not part of it. And you become a silent spectator, watching the phenomenon that is humanity being orchestrated in front of you. It’s a hollow feeling.
And after not speaking and hearing the sound of your own voice for a while, it becomes replaced by a solemn tone whispering empty thoughts. I tried not to listen.
Nevertheless, Tokyo was beautiful (Senso-ji temple was stunning and my favorite Japanese dessert is now age manju). One night, I even went to a Japanese hip-hop show in Shibuya and it was a wonderful experience. Getting to watch such extremely talented artists so passionate about their craft inspired me and pulled me away from ruminating loneliness for some time. I met one of the performing artists after the show and told him how much I loved his verse (despite not understanding it) and we hugged and he cried. He thanked me over and over until he started apologizing for thanking me so much. It was a special moment and I will always remember his humility. (His band is KOMOREBI - check them out!).
I also went out with some other travelers that night, trying okonomiyaki in Setagaya for the first time (it was mouthful bliss) and then went out to a punk rock concert, and a night club. I wasn’t a huge fan of the clubbing, but the company was refreshing. And like all good things, it was fleeting, and I bid my farewell to everyone that night.
I packed my things, and took a bullet train to my next stop, Kyoto. I was anticipating it, as the train zoomed south with Mount Fuji in surreal, passing view. Looking out the window, seeing my own transparent reflection, I took a breath. The train was moving at around 300 km/hour, but everything felt still and quiet. Even the parts of me that wanted to cry.
Kyoto was rich with temples and vestiges of a long, cherished history. I visited the Kyoto National Museum where I saw sculptured deities with venerable auras, parables scripted in decayed scrolls, and art that embodied Buddhist principles. I saw elevated temples monumental and grand, and others more modest and reserved. But they all stood resolutely, bearing the resilience of time and constant revival. They have felt desecration during arson and natural disasters, but throughout history, the Japanese have rebuilt and renovated them. And somehow, after enduring all this, as long as time has persisted, here they stood before me, as a testament to strength and preservation.
The long-lasting principles of Buddhism and the culture that were so deeply rooted in this country’s history must continue to live on through the structures that stood before me. Purpose is enough to withstand the cruelty of time’s passage. And the cycle of destruction and restoration that traced centuries was felt in the emanating silence only occupied by the sounds of water trickling down a rill or the occasional soft, swaying of trees. I like to think that ancient silence had touched my existence in those moments and advised me to listen.
Solitude is painful because the empty space that comes with it is congregated by the deeper parts of ourselves that seek to dwell on the purpose of our existence. It is when we are alone and quiet that obtrusive questions confront us, invoking us to listen and contemplate. And when we fail to answer gracefully, that is when the loudest and most self-destructive parts of ourselves will answer for us. The parts that are so keen in stripping our humanity from us.
After my last day in Kyoto, I packed all my things once again, and went over to my final destination, Osaka. I had only one night there. And it was an abrupt return to bustling crowds in the metropolitan. Existential silences were replaced with the sounds of humanity again. But as I walked through Dotonbori on a Friday night eating lots of warm, delicious takoyaki and skewers of Kobe beef, that feeling still returned. I knew I was unwell. And trivialities started to begrudge me and I could tell that it was time. And there would be no escaping it.
I took a taxi back to my hotel and I laid in my bed earlier than expected that night. And everything finally spilled. I cried and I cried and I cried. I was finally listening and it hurt doing so.
This solo trip was supposed to help me escape my problems, but it didn’t. When I brought myself here, I brought everything, and that included problems I wish I could have left behind. And amidst my issues, I questioned myself and my place in the world, even my very reasons for existing during times I felt like I had nobody. And albeit having wonderful moments with people throughout my trip, even strangers who treated me with grace and hospitality, that feeling still lingered and it was revealing a deeper issue. An issue not with whether I was in Japan or back home. Or whether I had people around me or I was alone. It was a deeper issue with myself.
But the silence that comes after the storm is just as serene as the silence that precedes. The older I get, the more I begin to have a respect for emotions and their function. They must be felt and I don’t think they are there to harm or sabotage us, although it might seem like it. It is a need to be heard not by others, but by ourselves. Listening to our own cries for help is scary and uncomfortable, but the silence that follows is like an aged temple still standing after centuries of cyclical adversity. Like the calm flow of water down a rill. Like the soft swaying of trees.
My 10-day solo trip was coming to an end. It was coming time to go home. I spent my last day in Tokyo walking Yoyogi Park. The sky was a clear melancholy overhead scattered, naked trees around the park. I saw couples sitting together, friends circled on picnic blankets, and some reading a book by themselves. Humanity felt beautiful that day and I was grateful to be a part of it, one last time. I packed my things once more before taking my flight back home the next day.
I love Japan and I am grateful it carved a space for me to experience all that I did. This trip will forever hold a special place in my heart. But it was not an epiphany, as much as I wished it was. I did not return home as an entirely new person with newfound happiness or certainty. I returned with the same issues I left with, the same, flawed self that was proof of what it meant to be human this whole time. Only with new experiences. And I don’t think that will change.
My humanity lives in my constant struggle of self-preservation, as I continue to unravel and understand myself as I experience, feel, and change. And perhaps that is enough purpose for my own existence, to strive for those moments of silence, where I will continue to stand resolutely in my own imperfection, alone or not.
2024.05.14 19:55 Jwa800 Spoiler Question about AJ very important question
I would really appreciate it if more people would comment on this subject topic please.
I edited some things so you guys could read it better and there are also spoilers for the shitty story video game The Last of Us Part II so read at your own risk!
Do you think AJ might end up becoming a crazy serial killer sociopath or psychopath? Because the way he talks about killing people especially what he did to Marlon without thinking about the consequences of his actions was the definition of Murder! Marlon wasn't perfect but he didn't deserve to die like that he even surrenders too and I believe he actually felt Remorseful Regretful Guilty Responsible and Ashamed of what he had done
but AJ killed him in cold blood anyway so I don't blame Louis and Mitch and all the other kids for acting the way they did in Episode 2 and I know AJ is still young and Clem has been trying her best to teach him right from wrong and I know he saved Clem's life but still I worry that there will come a day where Clem will have to tell AJ to look at the flowers for those of you who know what I mean there are people who still don't like and hate AJ regardless of him saving Clem's life! Because of his personality especially when you tell him to kill Lilly and the way he said he liked killing her in such a creepy serial killer voice I mean he reminds me of Light Yagami from the anime/manga series Death Note and he reminds me of Harvey Dent aka Two-Face especially from The 2008 film The Dark Knight especially with that famous quote "You either die a Hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the Villain" and that's what I worry about with AJ that one day he could totally freaking snap and Clem would have no choice but to finally put him down once and for all that's what I still fear in the future for AJ that he will do something so bad to someone else that they will want revenge on him and
David from Season 3 is a good example of that because David was Crazy and in most of the endings of Season 3 he ends up dead! But he was right about one thing "AJ was a Brat" Also Karma might come back for AJ because someone might bash his brains out just like Badger from Season 3 got his brains bashed out from Javi all I'm saying is if AJ still keeps doing crazy stuff and being ruthless when it comes to killing people then someone is going to want revenge and is going to want to kill him Just like Abby killed Joel in The Last of Us Part II because Joel killed Abby's Dad! That could happen to AJ in the future you never know because he might just go to far and someone maybe Clem will have no choice but to put him down in the future which would be a sad but true thing indeed! So what do you all think about AJ's future when comes to killing people who do wrong by him and the way he talks about it like it's no big deal!
I just hope he will learn to give people the benefit of the doubt in the future instead of wanting to kill them because when it came to interrogating Abel when AJ saw him Die he started to feel a little sorry for him especially if you ask him as Clem by saying isn't this what you wanted and AJ will say I did but and then Abel will cut him off by saying You're going to get your wish and AJ has a sad look on his face I liked where AJ offers Abel Water at least because you told him what he did to Marlon was wrong and it was murder and that he would have to atone for it so he thought he could do the same with Abel I just don't know I still worry what and who AJ will become in the future
Maybe he will start to show a little bit of mercy to his enemies and he will only kill them in self defense and he will show mercy to the ones who hopefully feel Remorseful regretful guilty responsible and ashamed of their actions look I know it's a zombie apocalypse world and it's every person for themselves but you have to believe that there are some people who want to be good and who want to be heroes I hope AJ will see that and try to have a code when it comes to not killing as many people only if and when it's necessary and when it's unnecessary I hope he will learn and know the difference especially when said to Lilly's face in Episode 3 of the final season that he killed Marlon and that he wasn't a monster but she was and it was a good choice that he killed Lilly but still I just hope he will learn the difference when it comes to doing the right thing which is showing mercy to people like Marlon and killing people like Lilly I hope he will know the difference and grow up to be more like Clem and his parents Rebecca and Alvin and less like Carver hopefully anyway what do you guys think? 🤷♂️🙏
submitted by Jwa800 to TheWalkingDeadGame [link] [comments]
I edited some things so you guys could read it better and there are also spoilers for the shitty story video game The Last of Us Part II so read at your own risk!
Do you think AJ might end up becoming a crazy serial killer sociopath or psychopath? Because the way he talks about killing people especially what he did to Marlon without thinking about the consequences of his actions was the definition of Murder! Marlon wasn't perfect but he didn't deserve to die like that he even surrenders too and I believe he actually felt Remorseful Regretful Guilty Responsible and Ashamed of what he had done
but AJ killed him in cold blood anyway so I don't blame Louis and Mitch and all the other kids for acting the way they did in Episode 2 and I know AJ is still young and Clem has been trying her best to teach him right from wrong and I know he saved Clem's life but still I worry that there will come a day where Clem will have to tell AJ to look at the flowers for those of you who know what I mean there are people who still don't like and hate AJ regardless of him saving Clem's life! Because of his personality especially when you tell him to kill Lilly and the way he said he liked killing her in such a creepy serial killer voice I mean he reminds me of Light Yagami from the anime/manga series Death Note and he reminds me of Harvey Dent aka Two-Face especially from The 2008 film The Dark Knight especially with that famous quote "You either die a Hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the Villain" and that's what I worry about with AJ that one day he could totally freaking snap and Clem would have no choice but to finally put him down once and for all that's what I still fear in the future for AJ that he will do something so bad to someone else that they will want revenge on him and
David from Season 3 is a good example of that because David was Crazy and in most of the endings of Season 3 he ends up dead! But he was right about one thing "AJ was a Brat" Also Karma might come back for AJ because someone might bash his brains out just like Badger from Season 3 got his brains bashed out from Javi all I'm saying is if AJ still keeps doing crazy stuff and being ruthless when it comes to killing people then someone is going to want revenge and is going to want to kill him Just like Abby killed Joel in The Last of Us Part II because Joel killed Abby's Dad! That could happen to AJ in the future you never know because he might just go to far and someone maybe Clem will have no choice but to put him down in the future which would be a sad but true thing indeed! So what do you all think about AJ's future when comes to killing people who do wrong by him and the way he talks about it like it's no big deal!
I just hope he will learn to give people the benefit of the doubt in the future instead of wanting to kill them because when it came to interrogating Abel when AJ saw him Die he started to feel a little sorry for him especially if you ask him as Clem by saying isn't this what you wanted and AJ will say I did but and then Abel will cut him off by saying You're going to get your wish and AJ has a sad look on his face I liked where AJ offers Abel Water at least because you told him what he did to Marlon was wrong and it was murder and that he would have to atone for it so he thought he could do the same with Abel I just don't know I still worry what and who AJ will become in the future
Maybe he will start to show a little bit of mercy to his enemies and he will only kill them in self defense and he will show mercy to the ones who hopefully feel Remorseful regretful guilty responsible and ashamed of their actions look I know it's a zombie apocalypse world and it's every person for themselves but you have to believe that there are some people who want to be good and who want to be heroes I hope AJ will see that and try to have a code when it comes to not killing as many people only if and when it's necessary and when it's unnecessary I hope he will learn and know the difference especially when said to Lilly's face in Episode 3 of the final season that he killed Marlon and that he wasn't a monster but she was and it was a good choice that he killed Lilly but still I just hope he will learn the difference when it comes to doing the right thing which is showing mercy to people like Marlon and killing people like Lilly I hope he will know the difference and grow up to be more like Clem and his parents Rebecca and Alvin and less like Carver hopefully anyway what do you guys think? 🤷♂️🙏
2024.05.14 19:53 Jwa800 Spoiler Question about AJ
I would really appreciate it if more people would comment on this subject topic please.
I edited some things so you guys could read it better and there are also spoilers for the shitty story video game The Last of Us Part II so read at your own risk!
Do you think AJ might end up becoming a crazy serial killer sociopath or psychopath? Because the way he talks about killing people especially what he did to Marlon without thinking about the consequences of his actions was the definition of Murder! Marlon wasn't perfect but he didn't deserve to die like that he even surrenders too and I believe he actually felt Remorseful Regretful Guilty Responsible and Ashamed of what he had done
but AJ killed him in cold blood anyway so I don't blame Louis and Mitch and all the other kids for acting the way they did in Episode 2 and I know AJ is still young and Clem has been trying her best to teach him right from wrong and I know he saved Clem's life but still I worry that there will come a day where Clem will have to tell AJ to look at the flowers for those of you who know what I mean there are people who still don't like and hate AJ regardless of him saving Clem's life! Because of his personality especially when you tell him to kill Lilly and the way he said he liked killing her in such a creepy serial killer voice I mean he reminds me of Light Yagami from the anime/manga series Death Note and he reminds me of Harvey Dent aka Two-Face especially from The 2008 film The Dark Knight especially with that famous quote "You either die a Hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the Villain" and that's what I worry about with AJ that one day he could totally freaking snap and Clem would have no choice but to finally put him down once and for all that's what I still fear in the future for AJ that he will do something so bad to someone else that they will want revenge on him and
David from Season 3 is a good example of that because David was Crazy and in most of the endings of Season 3 he ends up dead! But he was right about one thing "AJ was a Brat" Also Karma might come back for AJ because someone might bash his brains out just like Badger from Season 3 got his brains bashed out from Javi all I'm saying is if AJ still keeps doing crazy stuff and being ruthless when it comes to killing people then someone is going to want revenge and is going to want to kill him Just like Abby killed Joel in The Last of Us Part II because Joel killed Abby's Dad! That could happen to AJ in the future you never know because he might just go to far and someone maybe Clem will have no choice but to put him down in the future which would be a sad but true thing indeed! So what do you all think about AJ's future when comes to killing people who do wrong by him and the way he talks about it like it's no big deal!
I just hope he will learn to give people the benefit of the doubt in the future instead of wanting to kill them because when it came to interrogating Abel when AJ saw him Die he started to feel a little sorry for him especially if you ask him as Clem by saying isn't this what you wanted and AJ will say I did but and then Abel will cut him off by saying You're going to get your wish and AJ has a sad look on his face I liked where AJ offers Abel Water at least because you told him what he did to Marlon was wrong and it was murder and that he would have to atone for it so he thought he could do the same with Abel I just don't know I still worry what and who AJ will become in the future
Maybe he will start to show a little bit of mercy to his enemies and he will only kill them in self defense and he will show mercy to the ones who hopefully feel Remorseful regretful guilty responsible and ashamed of their actions look I know it's a zombie apocalypse world and it's every person for themselves but you have to believe that there are some people who want to be good and who want to be heroes I hope AJ will see that and try to have a code when it comes to not killing as many people only if and when it's necessary and when it's unnecessary I hope he will learn and know the difference especially when said to Lilly's face in Episode 3 of the final season that he killed Marlon and that he wasn't a monster but she was and it was a good choice that he killed Lilly but still I just hope he will learn the difference when it comes to doing the right thing which is showing mercy to people like Marlon and killing people like Lilly I hope he will know the difference and grow up to be more like Clem and his parents Rebecca and Alvin and less like Carver hopefully anyway what do you guys think? 🤷♂️🙏
submitted by Jwa800 to telltale [link] [comments]
I edited some things so you guys could read it better and there are also spoilers for the shitty story video game The Last of Us Part II so read at your own risk!
Do you think AJ might end up becoming a crazy serial killer sociopath or psychopath? Because the way he talks about killing people especially what he did to Marlon without thinking about the consequences of his actions was the definition of Murder! Marlon wasn't perfect but he didn't deserve to die like that he even surrenders too and I believe he actually felt Remorseful Regretful Guilty Responsible and Ashamed of what he had done
but AJ killed him in cold blood anyway so I don't blame Louis and Mitch and all the other kids for acting the way they did in Episode 2 and I know AJ is still young and Clem has been trying her best to teach him right from wrong and I know he saved Clem's life but still I worry that there will come a day where Clem will have to tell AJ to look at the flowers for those of you who know what I mean there are people who still don't like and hate AJ regardless of him saving Clem's life! Because of his personality especially when you tell him to kill Lilly and the way he said he liked killing her in such a creepy serial killer voice I mean he reminds me of Light Yagami from the anime/manga series Death Note and he reminds me of Harvey Dent aka Two-Face especially from The 2008 film The Dark Knight especially with that famous quote "You either die a Hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the Villain" and that's what I worry about with AJ that one day he could totally freaking snap and Clem would have no choice but to finally put him down once and for all that's what I still fear in the future for AJ that he will do something so bad to someone else that they will want revenge on him and
David from Season 3 is a good example of that because David was Crazy and in most of the endings of Season 3 he ends up dead! But he was right about one thing "AJ was a Brat" Also Karma might come back for AJ because someone might bash his brains out just like Badger from Season 3 got his brains bashed out from Javi all I'm saying is if AJ still keeps doing crazy stuff and being ruthless when it comes to killing people then someone is going to want revenge and is going to want to kill him Just like Abby killed Joel in The Last of Us Part II because Joel killed Abby's Dad! That could happen to AJ in the future you never know because he might just go to far and someone maybe Clem will have no choice but to put him down in the future which would be a sad but true thing indeed! So what do you all think about AJ's future when comes to killing people who do wrong by him and the way he talks about it like it's no big deal!
I just hope he will learn to give people the benefit of the doubt in the future instead of wanting to kill them because when it came to interrogating Abel when AJ saw him Die he started to feel a little sorry for him especially if you ask him as Clem by saying isn't this what you wanted and AJ will say I did but and then Abel will cut him off by saying You're going to get your wish and AJ has a sad look on his face I liked where AJ offers Abel Water at least because you told him what he did to Marlon was wrong and it was murder and that he would have to atone for it so he thought he could do the same with Abel I just don't know I still worry what and who AJ will become in the future
Maybe he will start to show a little bit of mercy to his enemies and he will only kill them in self defense and he will show mercy to the ones who hopefully feel Remorseful regretful guilty responsible and ashamed of their actions look I know it's a zombie apocalypse world and it's every person for themselves but you have to believe that there are some people who want to be good and who want to be heroes I hope AJ will see that and try to have a code when it comes to not killing as many people only if and when it's necessary and when it's unnecessary I hope he will learn and know the difference especially when said to Lilly's face in Episode 3 of the final season that he killed Marlon and that he wasn't a monster but she was and it was a good choice that he killed Lilly but still I just hope he will learn the difference when it comes to doing the right thing which is showing mercy to people like Marlon and killing people like Lilly I hope he will know the difference and grow up to be more like Clem and his parents Rebecca and Alvin and less like Carver hopefully anyway what do you guys think? 🤷♂️🙏