Maa aur sister chudai

I started exercising around a week ago and also dieting so today my mom and sister were having dinner. Now I was sitting there watching tv and I felt super hungry but I couldn't eat so when they both finished the food my sister left a roti she was not eating it and my mom offered me. I told her I'm on diet and she said koi baat nhi ek roti se kuch nhi hoga I was also hungry so I agreed and mummy mujhe vo roti me sabzi roll krke de hi as I told her ki mujhe kitni zyada bhookh lagi hai and she was like mujhe pta hai mere bete ko kitni bhookh lagti hai maa hoon teri at that very moment I cried don't know why but apne aap Mera mood bhi kharab nhi tha kuch bhi nhi bas I cried. Phir meri behen bhi mujhe chidhane lagi but kya karu control hi nhi ho rahe the aansu. I felt like mummy ne kitni jaldi pehchan liya ki mujhe bhookh lagi hogi i feel blessed mujhe aisi mummy mili hai. Other people eat food to live but I'm one of those persons who live for food aur ye dieting bohot mushkil hai aaj rone ke baad lga kuch bhi ho maa jaisa koi nhi hota na kabhi tha na kabhi hoga.
Edit: To so my friend who are suggesting me to not starving but I eat like an elephant that's why I was feeling hungry it'll take time but I'll learn and I'm managing my nutrients so in evening and I'm overweight I've a bmi of 33 so I've to reduce my food intake and sugar that why I was feeling super hungry.

Life ke Lage pare hai, ye and I am not able to do shit about it.
I got 88% through main subjects and 90% through best of 5 rule, SURPRISE SURPRISE I HAVE A SISTER WHO JUST HAD TO GET 92%
The amount of side eyes, taunts referred to as "just jokes" that am getting is just unbelievable considering it is coming from my own mother. AREY NAHI SAMAJH AA RAHA MAI KYA KARUN BC, life mein nahi sujh raha kya karun
I don't even know ki DPS Ranchi mein mujhe finally admission milega bhi ki nahi, I don't even know how long am gonna hold the sight of those disappointed faces of my parents masked behind the fake "hum proud hai"
Ab kuch gyanni chode aayenge, bolenge "tu abhi bacha hai, hamare problems dekh" AREY I DON'T GIVE A F, NAHI SAMAJH AA RAHI MUJHE LIFE
maa ki aankh, arts liya hai Maine ek aise hi "so called geniuses" of science dimag kharab karte hai aur ab maa baap :/
Is community ke buddho se vinti hai ki aap meri madad karein 🙏🏽

Bhai personally pata nhi mujhe feel ho rha hai ki sabka exam Jo kal unn sab ka exam postpone ho jayega like admit card site kamm nhi kr rhi it's 12 am aur bhenchod abhi bhi site kamm nhi kr rhi toh kab kamm kregi kya pata Lage tum log centre paucho aur pata Lage tumhare bhi exam postpone ho jaye waise bhi nta walo pe bharosa nhi kr sakte let's see kya hota hai bakki best of luck to everyone jinka kal paper hai
Bakki fuck nta Aur nta ki maa ko kutta chode

Bhai log aur sisters Ab jo ye delhi ka paper postpone ho gaya hai toh iska matlab ki end result me normalized score bhi aayega?..........ya phir ye jo jee me hua vahi wapas karenge (notice nikala tha ki sare shift impartial hai)

I calculated my neet 2024 marks to be 437/720 and kal class 12th ka result aaya toh woh bhi itna khaas nahi tha, 81.2 percent aaye hai kyuki maths m marks chale gye. Meri maa boli ki itne marks m DU m bhi admission nahi milega. Mere parents are searching for private mbbs colleges. Mujhe Amity University Noida m bsc in neuroscience ka degree dikha, kyuki neurology m mujhe interest hai. Please suggest kya Karu, aur if you can suggest me some new options please wo bhi bta dijiye.
I won't take drop kyuki competition boht badh Raha hai aur mujhse ye neet ka natak ek saal aur nahi hoga.

Attention: A big rant coming your way so dekh lena padhne hain ki nhi
Hah toh background about me I am class 12 student with commerce and maths student IDK it is the best place to talk about things like mental breakdown all. So let's start mere 11th ke exams 14th of March se khatam huye and uske agle din se maine coaching join kar li with all the peak levels of motivations that I could gain from earlier bahut maja ata tha 1-2 classes hoti thee accounts ki ata tha practice karta tha eak alag hi maja aa rha tha april start hote hi maths and eco ki class shuru ho gyi and even school bhi shuru ho gaye. Thoda sa pressure hua but somehow main kafi ressilient rha roj ache se padhta backlog nhi hone deta lekin fir aya mera official breakdoen ka point accounts me test hua lekin number bilkul chude hue aye jisme main padh kar bhi gya frustration hua but koi nhi lekin sir ko dekh ke aisa laga ki yar BC is admi ne toh mere kuch expectation rakhi thee woh bhi nhi puri kar pya coaching me main starting woh overexcited bacha tha joh sabse pehle answer nikalne ki koshish karta doubts puchta and eak alag sa CHIGMA male attitude aa gya tha shayd thodi ego bhi coaching ki ladkiyon se bhi bat hone woh momint hi alag tha jab unhone pucha Ansh itna kaise padh lete ho tum? main toh eak bar hi pigal gya lekin woh hi chutiya reply maine bhi diya arey kha lekin MKC test me gande numbers ane se pura self-respect ki amma behn eak ho gyi and main eak alag hi rha me nikal gya pichle eak mahine se mere me woh Richyard Fenyman wali vibe ane lagi joh koi bhi physics ka numerical aur ghand phad questions bar me jake lap dance lete hu karta tha yah BJ. Lekin BC woh kismat humari kha meyesain muthi baji ki rha me kuch jyada hi age nikal gya rat ko 12 baje muthi marta tha suabh 5 baje uth ke school jata lekin yar woh post nut clarity wala kuch scene hi nhi hua dimag maa ki eyes chal hi nhi rha ladkiyon ke bat karne me eak jijhak. Hah pta hain ki ap koi ayega niche loduuuuuu hilaya mat kar leikin BC 1 week hote hi tharak roof top phad dete hain hormones peak par aa jate hain. Us time pe mera dimag aise trick karta hain ki lodu sun dekh abhi badhiya lag rha hain hain top of the world coaching me ijjat bani hui hain muth mar aur stress bhula de afsos main apne is dimag ke sharyantra me aa hi jta hua (bhayankar rone wala emoji) . Lekin tum soch rhe hoge ki nhi yar isme toh sab kuch theek hain main bat yeh hain ki maine IPMAT ki class bhi join kar rakhi hain toh time ka pta hi nhi chalta aur coaching me downfall hi chal rha hain whi school me comeback lekin wah ka kya hain andhe ghante exam se cum karne se bhi cumbak ho jta hain don't ask me why. Lekin main problem hain coaching eak toh BC joh maine yeh nyi coaching join kari hain sare hi kuch jyada hi ammeri ke ghode lagete hain. BSDK maths ki class me 150 rupee ki coffee lake questions solve karte hain bolte hain "Bruh you know what coffee is the best invention of this humankind I can't fucking imagine a day without it" tab toh indeed bol deta hun lekin man me main bhi bolta hun in bhak bsdk ke. Main toh galti se eak vada pav hi kha ke aja toh mami ko pura explanation dena padhta hain hain ki kyon main is dhuvidha me fassa and ghar ake kyon nhi kha lekin fir woh hi mummiyon ke dialogue paise kya ped pe ugte hain toh jah mere liye bori bhar kar la kaun samajye. Age badhte hain I wish thoda sa mera balance bane and eak kafi possitivity aye academic comebak hoye and female interactions aur badhe. (Kash woh sote huye yeh sochti ho ki yar main kabhi zinadagi me Ansh ke sath betray nhi karungi eak bar uski bandi ban jau toh and Ansh kitna shi banda hain padhta bhi hain topper bhi hain and nerd bhi nhi aur top notch meme language me bat karta hain) Chalo fir bhai ke prathana karne DM karna ho toh thodi der backchodi karte hain stress relief ke liye

I am little curious about marriages in Bihar like how much is the dowry. Meri sister ki batchmate ki shaadi ho rhi hai aur uska fiance Army mein Major hai and they are taking 35lakhs, kya ye sahi hai. Share your opinion with me

So imma final year CS student, aur bhai mere job nahi lagi hai, par bhai kuch karne kaa jonoon hai, maa baap ko kush karna hai aur apna future bhi banana hai, so pls guid me...
Background : from tier 2 private cllg, know programming well, (typically mern stack ka 14 aur 200+ leetcode wala ) mere ek baar toc mei acche aye the to subject thoda acha lagta hai mujhe 🙂 ab yaad nahi kuch, maths to ghatna yaad hai mujhe shuru se padha hai sab kuch ( 12th ke bhi thode concepts revise karne honge), aur baki sab subjecta ka bhi same haal hai DSA ko chhod kar bas programming aati hai muze
1) How and where to start 2) What are some good resources 3) What best in your opinion ( offline/online) 4) What are good online classes in you opinion or experience ?
TLDR : launde ne bass backhodi ki hai cllg mei GATE ke liye guidance maang raha hai

So aaj boards ka result aaya and guess what my stupid ass scored 78.8 percentage (with highest in biology 82 like wtf jabki mein jee ki so called prep kar raha hu
kal pw ka jo short test diya tha us mein 96/96 aaye 10 baje result aaya maa baap full khush ki chalo thoda sa hi sahi par comeback to ho raha hai (not judging my test but they judged my seriousness)
fir madarchod result aa gaya aur papa thoda gussa ho gaye even told me a waste ( I am not blaming my father and pliz don't type you don't deserve him and all those bullshit bro just stfu and don't judge my family from this single line and my perspective)
par fir jab shaam ko thoda eavesdrop kara to suna ki papa bole ki chicken le aaye kya but my mom denied it saying ki aaj somvaar hai (my family are all shivbhakts and they say i was blessed with three marks on my forehead full badassery)
Physics : 26 question diye the 17 ho gaye baaki nahi bane even tho fight pura kiya
Chemistry : Bawaal chiz padhi be Fe0.93O wali chiz majaa aagaya hands down the best class
Maths : jaisa chal raha hai aur haa sir ne aaj se quad eqn start kara
aaj bhot kam self study hui aur raat ko jagkar apne notes + maths ke hw attempt karunga

its gonna be a long trauma dump.
im 19f, appeared in 12th this year, this would be my first drop. vaise to iss sun pe lurker rehti thi, aaj laga maybe kuch bol hi du to atleast relief rahega kisko dhang se bataya to. vaise to life meri bekar nhi hai overall dekha jaye to. yaha pe logo ka padho bc achhi lagne lagti hai life, and phir agle din vahi rr.
i was five almost, jb mere nana ne pehli baar mujhe touch kiya tha. mummy papa ka office rehta tha and bhaiya ka school to akele chhodne ki jagah nana ko bula lete the vo log ki mera dhyaan rakhe. achha dhyan rakhe the (apna lolzzz). now that i think about the movements and the way he'd shake afterwards, pyare nanaji was most probably cumming in his dhoti holding his five year old granddaughter on his thigh. (i mean, ladke shayad better jaane, kabhi kisi se detail mein puchha nhi iss baare mein. after it had got some action and y'all are ejaculating, do you guys like, freeze for a bit a breathe hard? agar nhi to im sorry for the wrong allegations). anyways that happened for a while. uske baad ka mujhe kuch yaad nhi. tbh ye bhi nhi yaad tha, until 3-4 saal pehle jb i read a similar scene in a book and ye yaad aaya phir shock mein chali gayi. had two beautiful frnds jinko bataya iss baare mein and they tried to help me out as best as they could. andar se ye bhi lagta tha ki mummy ko kabhi pata bhi chala to nahi manengi, isiliye parents se thoda grudge rehta tha and ladti jhagadati rehti thi.
fast forward to present, mai apne best friend ke saath relationship mein aa gayi and slowly but surely, he made a great impact on my relationship with my family. like uski uske parents ke saath achhe relations hain and ladka bhi sahi hai (haa pyar krti hu usse, mar jaungi ek din) to convince kr liya mujhe ki mere parents bhi pasand krte hain mujhe. and tb se mere relations meri family ke saath significantly improve hue. i even started to trust them.
to kya hai na, mummy and nana ki jamti nhi hai (he's neither a good husband nor a good father), isiliye mummy unse baat nhi krti. ek din recently mummy unhi ke baare mein upset thi and maine mummy se bol diya ki "uss aadmi se to mujhe nafrat hai. royi hu bestfriend ko batate hue" and mummy was like mujhe batao but mana kar di ki abhi nhi.
agle din she came to me and said ki unhe raat mein neend nhi aa rahi thi ye sochte hue ki aisa unhone kya kar diya ki I don't trust her but trust my frnds? phir bohot bolne pe mai unhe puri baat bata di (utni detail mein nhi obviously) and she was very supportive. boli ki "maa baap important hote hain par bachcho se zyada nhi. mai to vaise bhi unhe ghar na bulati but ab to sawal hi nhi uthata. shakal nhi dekhungi unki". and mai apne room mein aake rone lagi ki maine apni maa ko galat samjha ki vo mujhpe yakeen nhi karengi.
then agle din, i think jb mai ghar pe nhi thi tb mummy bhaiya ko ye baat batayi and he told her abt how once i confessed to him i was a lesbian (bisexual boli thi but lauda hai), and pata nhi kaise, mummy ko convince kr doya ki im making this whole story up for sympathy and to seem cool.
mummy aayi and mujhse boli ki "tum jo batayi ho, vo sach mein hua hai ya jo tum ghatiya books padhti ho, uski vajah se dimag mein baitha li ho ki mere saath bhi kuch galat hua hai?" and phir asked me abt that lesbian wala and told me ki inhi sab vajah se my face has lost its innocence and mai kuch nahi kar paayi hu. kaise i didn't deserve the marks i got in boards and sabka entrance exam tha but sab ek event mein aa rahe the but tumne kuch padha nhi tha isiliye nhi aayi (true but jisko neet dena hota vo aise bhi na aata). and how she feels ashamed and unsafe to go out with me varna i would wander off with "bhaiya log". that other girls of my age look smart and innocent and good even of they're fat. and gori ladkiyo ka chehra nhi pink hai, but you have yellowish tone and you never look smart, tumhare andar vo cheez hi nhi. she ended her speech with, "tumhari vajah se maine apne baap ko galat samjha. agar tum jhoote ilzam laga rahi ho to uska anjam dikhega." and then very lightly said, as if she didn't believe it, "aur agar mere baap ne kuch kiya hoga to bhagwan batayenge."
since that day, i haven't been able to look at my family the same way. the love, trust and respect i had for them seems gone. uss din ke baad mummy achhe se baa ki but bhul nhi paa rahi unn words ko. isse pehle bhi aisa bohot kuch boli hain vo jo bura laga tha but ye Dil tod diya. i can't believe my first heartbreak is from my mother itself.
isse pehle bhi she'd questioned my character. mai maanti hu, mai chutiye bachchi thi. nhi samjhti thi kuch. school bus mein achhe bhaiya log mile the to sabko achha samajhti thi and apne age ke logo se ghul mil nhi paati thi. isiliye almost got tricked by a senior jo uss time 11th mein the (i was in 6th, koi dost nhi tha to attention ki bhukhi rehti thi). uske liye mummy branded me as "characterless". I WAS IN SIXTH, NHI PATA THA MUJHE KUCH. phir ek baar humlog kahi gaye the and mummy dusri seat pe chali gayi mujhko leke jbki meri dost pichhe ki seat pe thi. i tried going to her to uss time to mummy bas gusse se dekhi but ghar aake boli ki how im such a bad daughter, achhe ghaf ki ladkiya sirf apne mummy papa ke paas rehti hain but tumko to matakna rehta hai. tumhare jaisi ladkiyo ko characterless rehte hain, kisi ki nhi hoti hain. (this was in class 9th).
ho sakta hai mai apna side leke dekh rahi hu isiliye mai khud ko sahi samajh rahi. but galti kya ki maine ye to koi achhe se explain karo???
recent ye nana wala batane ke baad to bas yahi manati hu roz bhagwan se ki maar daale mujhe. sach nata rahi, jb dekhega na koi sirf meri mummy papa aur bhaiya ko saath mein, to itne perfect lagte hain. and mai manhoos ki yarah aa jaati hu beech mein. (mumma thinks ki mera chehra normal rehne pe mahoos lagta hai, i should be smiling har samay varna apni life barbaad ke dungi aisi shakal bana ke).
marne ka ya relapse krne ka (i used to self harm) roz mann krta hai, but apni best friend aur apne bf ke baare mein sochke ruk jaati hu. sach mein doni pagal pyaar krte hain mujhse. bestfriend ki life already laudi ho rakhi hai, aur nhi pareshan krna, bf ki life mein pehle hi bohot trauma the, ab badhane ka mann nhi. i promised him I'd helo him heal.
ab 15 aur 16 ko cuet hai but padha nhi hai kuch and pata nhi kaise niklega. nikalka bhi zaruri hai varna home life aur fucked up ho jaayegi plus ghar se niklungi to insabme dimag nhi lagega.
samajh nhi aa raha kaise padhu ab, aakhiri din bacha hai, sab kuch padha hai but revise krna hai. idk bhai, higheay sach mein sundar lagne laga hai (srsly)
edit: aaj matashree ko therapy de rahi thi. and pata chala she has shit communication skills and she meant to say ki hopefully ye sab mera vehem hai but boldi kuch aur. and batayi mumma bhaiya bhi bola ho sakta hai vehem ho but he cried when he first heard it. matashree se phir ladi khub ki baat nhi krne aata achhe se ro rahi hu kb se. tumlogo ke comments+ mummy se baat krke jo relief Mila hai na, thankyou yaar. literally verge of suicide se happy kr diye ho.

[Throwaway account] [Long post]
17M. Today cbse boards result came out. And I got 68% and I feel devastated.
I tried to do jee coaching and school simultaneously but I couldn't. I used to feel sleepy in classes so much that my eyes felt like burning. I was just not interested in this rat race.
My father is the most toxic person I've ever met. He doesn't even talk to strangers with respect or politely. I couldn't clear jee and my father scolded me a lot and today he said even more stuff that I couldn't take in.
I got horrible percentile in JEE. I know this is not the end of life and these grades don't define someone's potential or life. I accept I couldn't perform well and learnt my lesson through bad decisions.
But aaj papa ne bola "tera ky hoga, pura future barbad krliya h", "2 saal kuch pdhai nhi kiya bas phone chalaya, game khela, timepass kiya", "har ek exam me fail hogya", "ab aage ki padhai chhod de, labour ka kaam kr ky krega pdh kr", "5 lakh barbaad krdiya school or coaching me".
I wasn't like this always. Maine 8th tak boht competitions, olympiads wagera kiya h. Mujhe nhi pata mai jee coaching kyu le liya. Ky hogya mere saath mujhe nhi pata.
He called me and said "apna laptop and phone tod de aur photo khich kr bhej". Kyu todu mai apna phone jab maine freelancing krke khud ke paise se kharida th.
I'm not joking but he called me "ch*tiya and mc" too for not scoring good marks. He even scolded my mother and sister for all this. Bas yahi bolte raha ki mat kr aage ki padhai, sab barbad krliya h ab mera kuch nhi hoga kahi.
Aaj pehli bar saalo baad meri aankho se aasu aagye. Aaj mere se control nhi hua aur mai chhat pr jakr silently andr se cry kr rh th.
He has his ego problem and anger issues. Idk what's his problem. Hamesha se aisa toxic behaviour raha h. Kabhi game khelne nhi diya to jab bhi time milta th bachpan me mai game khelte rhta th kyuki brain aisa sochta th ki ghr me nhi h yeh abhi jitna marji khel leta.
Bachpan me cash me paise diye th aur bola rkhne and maj spend krdiya kyuki bhai bachha th curiosity thi. To jis din pata chala jhapad mar diya and bache hue cash phad diye.
To ab dar lgta h kuch krne se. Mai kahi bahar nhi jata hoon ghumne ya kuch khane. Aaj tak restaurant nhi gya. Bs ek bar dosto ke sath movie dekhne gya hoon Oppenheimer. Ek do bar cafe me gya hoon dost ke sath. Sab apne hi paiso se pay kiya hoon. Pocket money ka concept hi gayb h mere ghr me. School wale goa trip pr legye but 15k mai mangne se ghabra rh th to nhi gya.
Ab weird sa introvert bn gya hoon. Dost birthday party pr ya ghumne bulate h to mai nhi jata kuch bahana krdeta hoon. Female interaction to hai hi nhi ab.
Ek din meri didi ka pata nhi sayd result acha nhi aaya th to bola ki books road pr lejakr jala de. Mai chhota th tab.
Aaj to bole meri mummy ko ki mujhe ghr se bhaga de.
He never accepts constructive critisism about him. For him other's opinions and views dont matter. He only boasts how much money he has spent on education and shit.
Heck he never gave his BA exam himself. Someone else wrote instead of him.
Ky aisa behaviour acceptable bhi hai aaj ki society me? I think he's psychotic and needs a psychiatrist. Like wtf man.
Kahi se koi support nhi mil rh mujhe. Bs lg rh andar se toot gya hoon aur ab kuch nhi h jeene ko. Bs mera friend mujhe support kr rh kyuki uske bhi kam percentage aaye h. Atleast uske ghr wale jyada understanding h and samjhte h ki yeh the end nhi hai.
Mera dream h Germany me pdhna. Mai kuch projects banaya hoon ek dost ke sath apne coding skills se jisse mujhe kafi acha revenue mil jata h. To friend EU ka hai and we've been in contact for long time now.
To ek saal yaha local college me pdh kr next year bachelors Germany ke liye apply krunga yeh mera plan th. Along with learning german language.
Bs isi hope se mai filhal jee rh hoon ki ek din yeh sapna pura hoga and mai finally yeh toxicity escape kr paunga. Mera wo dost financially help bhi krdega if funds ki kam pdegi to uss time. Papa ke to paise bhi use nhi hoga to bhad me jaye mai ja rh apne raste.
Bs aur kuch nhi kehne ko h

nta teri maa ki ch*t, bkl randi agency mujhe palghar mai center de diya joh mere ghar se 120km dur hai aur 16 ko joh exam hai uska center maderchodo ne mujhe nashik ki kisi andheri gali mai de diya (mai rehta navi mumbai mai hu) joh mere ghar se 190kms dur hai
navi mumbai, thane aur mumbai select kiya tha 🤡🚬

Maine hamesha dekha hai ki bacche maa baap se hi seekhte hai Mai dono se hi ouch nhi seekha or iss baat ka garv hai..... No bad habits Anything you name it I don't have any Earning myself 22 And financially responsible Behaves well
All members have bad behaviour Father drinks and smokes Mother eats tobacco Brother pan masalas and drink Sister over spending on unnecessary things + not financially responsible
I want to thank my father for my education because this is the only factor that makes me better than them by choosing not to do anything wrong as in terms of life
Are you different from your parents and siblings?

Just had I am having I dont know what the fuck it is just over it's not about jee its about everything my life will always collapse within itself and i will never be able toachieve anything in my life madarchod yeh mama kept on snoring in the night I couldn't sleep my head hurts and now some random ass fucking auntie and her child won't let me sleep (her daughter was in her home for a makeover or some shit and my sister and she are friends and she lost some good stuffworth 40k) she came yesterday aur mere mama tak ko dhundhna mein lagaya I was about to sleep at 12pm till 1:30 pm par yeh madarchod aa gaye sone ni diya ab main so ni para sir dard ho raha and even if I manage to sleep I will still end up sleeping at like 3or 4 am advanced 9 am onwards hai it's like always like everytime I can controll nothing people might as well spit in my face behenchod God gifted behen ka loda madarchod randi hu main bas chutiya sala jhant bhar ki jindagi usne ma bap bhai behen sab munh pe antagonistic hain bak bal khatam ni hoti conditionally supportive jab main give up kar chuka tha to sabne kaha padh loda lassan ab main padhna chahta hun to sari bakchodi inki abhi yad ati hai behenchod jhoothe hypocrites moody sale aur main chutiya madarchod kuch ni kar sakta kuch ni there is nothing my life had been fucked my life will be fucked and it will remain fucked I am at the end I cannot motivate myself even further I can do nothing nothing nothing behenchod sari willpower chus gayi hai madarchod madarchod madarchodadarchid madarchod madarchod behenchod how the fuck are people even happy with their lives why don't they just die what's the point what the fuck calm down Kuch ni hora yahan mental breakdown hai and I am not sure if I can recov- Stop stop stop. It's the only chance for me to take over my broken down fucked up psyche and you must not give in to the anxious force the bitch guy within you. Feelings are fucked and they must be burned at an altar. Feel feelings selectively. Many things, many thought patterns that you find yourself in are a result if past trauma, current conditions of your life, and much more. These feelings can lead to one taking drastic steps. The only way to counteract all of this is to give into pure rationality. Giving into pure rationality I must admit that I have no way of quantifying my condition other than mocks and I am too afraid to give mocks, and they will take a lost of time. And speaking logically, the emotional blow from a fucked up performance has a very high of hindering my progress and crippling my motivation, and thus I have convinced myself to forgo mocks. Rationally speaking I must maximize the mocks, but I have mentioned the caveat which lies, what I cannot do is give up. I must study. Keep on studying. Study no matter what. Study however. But study. Work with pen. Watch videos. It doesn't matter. I have to study. I have to give my full efforts, as much as I can. That's the best thing. And the rest of it I have to bet on luck and my mental performance while giving the paper, I have to maximize that. I will not be able to do jackshit in the exams in the time which is left, that's the truth, and in a month you cannot do jackshit either. But I will have to play on the only thing which I have, my mind, i will have to pray and make sure it works in the Advanced, simultaneously I will have to prepare myself emotionally for the blow that will come with the failure, because there are high chances. Then I will have to bludgeon and carry on anyhow. I will have to keep working hard. There is no other way. I will have to go to therapy, by now my mind has completely bifurcated into two personalities, and the bitch pussy crying voice will gave to be cured and dealt with, else it endangers the survival of us both. I will have to stidy. I will have to work hard. I will have to be me. I will have to be rational. I will have to be more emotionally intelligent. I will have to know to select feelings carefully. I will have to be present and hyper aware of everything. The alternative is a very dark path. Well my mind is opting for that alternative because life seems darker. The problem is that I don't feel anything. I am an amalgamation of basic animal instincts of survival and ambition coupled with executive functions and logical side, and I am as much part of myself as the emotional side is. And I see no logical sense to give up, because all the logic is pretty much predicated around survival and increasing entropy of the universal system; and I am a microcosm in my own right, a system of my own and my stability and survival and success is what all the reasoning is fundamentally based on - ergo, dying and giving up is not an option. The emotional side has to be modulated and controlled. I will have to logically induce emotions that will drive me and efficiently deal with and soothe the negative emotions, I will have to validate many scary emotions but at the same time I will have to completely reject, invalidate, ignore, and forcibly stop multiple emotions from festering, which is not healthy for normal people, but I do not lie within the norm if the norm is overall absence of stark dissatisfaction and disillusionment with life. That being said I do not think I am in a position to attempt studying, and it is incredibly hard to determine whether this is the bitch voice or the logical voice speaking. I do not think I will be able to nap either. But I do presume similar conditions will follow me while giving exams because past patterns do not support me being in the best condition while giving exams, and this is the best way to segway to positive emotions. Fuck it I am going to study. I feel tired. Everything is impossible. But I will study. When Thor has to slay Jormungandr he knows he is going to die, but he wields his mighty hammer and accepts his destiny and valiantly fights the great serpent, and dies. I am going to do the same. I know I will fail. I will grieve. I will cry. But not give up. I know cards are stacked up against me. But i will not give up. If I fight against overwhelming odds enough number of times then I will learn to create miracles, and that is a divine power in it's own right. I will learn to create miracles. I will fight against all odds and I might win, or I might lose. But I will keep on struggling, and eventually I will be the miracle maker. What if I fail to make any miracles??? Well, what were the chances that I was born as a dog? Or I was a table? Or I was nothing. My very existence is a miracle and I will create miracle. Humans were fish struggling on land and now they are off to conquer stars!!!!!! This is a miracle!!! Everything was pointless but we kept on struggling!!!! We achieved more than what we could think!!! Why must I give up!!!! Fuck it guys let me overdose myself with caffine and start studying the fuck. Imma do organic revision and pyqs. Organic ke behenchod sare 20 sal ke paper aaj hi nipta dunga madarchod ab bolo koi mock mock (I know it's not possible, but what did I say??) Ya fir definite. Aod. Rotation. Kuch nahi padhunga lekin padhunga aur is bhakalnde behen ke lode exhausted ass state mein padhunga ma chod dunga jindagi ki behen ki chut. Bollo bhagwati maiyaaa ki jai!!!

Dabba ke vlogs sirf aur sirf faltu cheezo se bhara hua hai aur I wonder koan hain ye log jinko ye janne mey interest hai ki ' sunny kitna padha hai' ya 'dabba ko protein khana hai lekin fish nahi' Riza meher ki rivalry aur sister love pe Gyan. Naja ki irritative Hasi kisko Sunni hoti hai? Na humour na knowledge na entertainment na learning kuch bhi nahi hota.
I may be downvoted for this lekin cringika kam se kam kabhi kabhar recipes dikhati hai dhang se bana ke ya kapdo ka idea bhi deti hai. ( Kabhi kabhi)
I actually feel disappointed to see so many people watching them and appreciating. For what they are being appreciated.... Khas kar dabba and nalla.

(Disclaimer: Long post ahead, but trust me, it can change your perspective)
Here is a brief intro about me. I am a 17 year old guy. Exploring life you see. Let us come to the point now. After a little explorations, i came to a few conclusions, and would love to share them here!!
Who are we? Teenagers? Right? lol. Why did i lol on this fact? The fact that majority of our parents want us to behave like adults but treat us like kids is what i am talking about. Nothing wrong with that. After all ham unke bacche hi to hain(Afterall, we are their kids). There are so many types of parents, each with good and bad conditioning. Some are supportive, some are not, and some are abusive(utter fools) but it is what it is!
yaar, one thing, hamaare maa baap hame nahi samajhte, aur isme unki galti hai, aur haan, nahi bhi hai (Our parents do not understand us, and yes, it's simultaneously their fault and not)
How is that? Let us understand that.
Case 1: Parents point of view Yaar, let us go back to the 1970s, the era our parents took birth. Since our parents birth, it was only 30 years India got its independence. After independence India had to start over again. From scratch. The thing is, we need to understand that our parents and grandparents had very very limited access to information. Look at yourself, how quickly we call our friends/relatives when we want to talk to them.
Their time, they used to wait in a line to get to the STD booth and call their parents, and the time was limited too, and today? unlimited. 3-4 ghante beet jaate hain baat karte karte, and we can still proceed if we want to.
The thing is, as i mentioned, Independent India + extreme poverty + Weak economy + no money, these factors, our parents and grandparents always used to tackle! Think about it! Imagine it. Visualize as if you are in their era and experiencing this!!. Do you now realize how hard it might've been! Our parents and grandparents struggled to get the basic amenities of life!
Food, water, house and education, they struggled to get these! and hence their mind is conditioned in such a way where having only these in life will ensure a good successful life. Are they wrong? I think no! They are not, regarding this aspect. But their definition of the process of achieving these is wrong.
And i think we cannot blame them for this. They belong to the times where they had only engineering/Medical/law/teacher as the only career prospects, and as mentioned before, they needed money as India back then was very weak economically! and since medical and engineering paid a good amount of money, man ran in the rat race of a seat in engineering college!.
Lesson 1:A HUMAN BEING'S MENTALITY IS NOTHING BUT A PROCREATION OF THE ENVIRONMENT HE/SHE GREW UP IN.
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Case 2: How are they wrong? "LOOK AT HIM/HER, WHY CANNOT YOU SCORE LIKE THEM?" "MENTAL HEALTH? WHAT'S THAT? THERE IS NOTHING AS SUCH" "ENGINEERING/MEDICAL/GOVT JOB CAN ONLY GIVE YOU A COMFORTABLE LIFE"
Classic desi parents ke taane(Classic desi parents taunts), kidney se lekar dil tak chubti hai yaar. I mean, yes, I get it. I have also faced these and face these everyday too. Now now now, are they wrong here? Yes they are! This is the aspect where they are wrong. A LARGE NUMBER OF OUR PARENTS HAVE FAILED TO ADAPT TO THE GLOBALIZATION!. Our parents, atleast a large number of them, will believe in kaal jaadu but not a visit to psychiatrist. It's a shame that we still do not have proper awareness about mental health in India. But you know, the country is presently run by people from genX who had no access to these amenities like mental health support, as discussed in case 1.
Today, literally anything can be made into a career, just a right approach is needed. But the indian society is so close minded, there is no exposure to things. Did you guys know that there are 12650 career opportunities from which we Indians follow only 7-8? Lack of exposure.
Lesson 2: DEEP ROOTED MENTALITIES, OFTEN DO NOT CHANGE WITH TIME.
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Case 3: What can we do?
First of all, thank you so much if you have come till here reading my post 💙 So, ham kya kar sakte hain? We as gen z, what change can we bring?
1) We need to realize that we are the first generation to have started our life with all the basic amenities of life. Food✅Water✅Education✅home✅laptops✅phones. Our parents, they themselves struggled to get these things, and when you go to them complaining "STRESS HO RAHA, OMG KYA KAROON" they will think that you are just being ungrateful to them, as they think that only physical amenities are enough for a comfortable life. They are wrong here, as mental amenities are also as important as physical ones!
2) Instead of expecting them to understand us, we will be better off by respecting all they did for us, as much as they could, at their level best. "MUMMY PAAPA MERA MENTAL HEALTH NAHI SAMJHENGE(MY MOM DAD WONT UEDRSTAND MY MENTAL HEALTH), They won't. atleast majority of them won't and it is better to stop trying to. They have their own majbooriyan (compulsions)
3) We can break this chain! trust me! by being better parents! We too will get married someday and have kids, and let us provide all of the things like all the physical amenities + THE MENTAL AMENITIES!
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Our parents did everything they could for us, and yes they are wrong in many places, after all they are not gods, but humans!. Like us! They have different perspectives towards life, all we can do is listen to their words, anticipate them, take in what's required and leave which do not align with our interests. And we will take a vow today that the next generation (hamaare bacche) will lead happy lives. I might be wrong but i heard that Gen Z is the most depressed generation(We lack a purpose) and god damn it, our purpose is to make india a happy country again! Make india a place where children can have the autonomy to choose what they want to and encourage them in the right limits and in the right way!
Thank you

Dono CET Cell aur NTA ki Maa ki chut, bhen ke koi statement release nahi karte cheaters ke regarding

This would have happened at the end of the season party.
Harsh - Show koi bhi jeeta but Rushali and I were the lion and lioness of the villa 😎🦁🦁
Arbaz - Bhai tumne to King Kaween bola tha. Sher Sherni to hum they 🤔😎
Harsh - Mai to bas romance karne Gaya tha Splitsvilla. Mujhse panga liya to dikha dunga fir 😡
Rushali - Bhai bas karde overacting. Splitsvilla over ho gaya. Waise bhi maine sabko bata diya hai that we are just friends and bahar se setting karke aaye they 😏
Raja - Harsh bhai ye thoda jyada ho raha hai. Ladki ne dil tod diya tera. Iska Phone utha ke fek 😶
Nayera - Please guys ye se sab faltu ki baate karke party ki vibe ki maa behen mat karo 😑
Siwet - Maa ke bare me bola ? tu ladka hoti to mu tod deta tera 😡
Anicka - Siwet wtf is wrong with you. Mu se hagna band karde. I'm fucking traumatized because of you. 🥲🥲🥲 Poore season ek task dhang se nahi hua tere se
Aniket - Dikki dekh tere wajeh se ye ladai ho gai 🙄
Deekila - Ayyyyyeeee maire ko dhokhaa diya saaaale neee !!! 😡😢😡😢
Aniket - sorry sorry... I wanna get married to you............some day........... eventually.................when I'm ready to settle down. Please calm down 🙏
Unnati - Ye marrige se yaad aaya, Arbaaz bhai bhabhi kaisi hai ? 🤣
Digvijay - Haan aur Tera bf kaisa hai ye bhi bata de sath me ? 😂
Ishita - See I told you I'm better for you than her 🙄
Kashish and Addy see that no one is noticing them and they start making out in front of everyone 😘
Adit/ Khanak - Guys we know you are doing this for attention but there are no cameras here. Please stop this falcon shit in public 🤮
Akriti - Hein. No cameras. To mai yaha kya kar rahi hu 🤔
Akriti - Guys tum sabne bohat pee rakhi hai. To tum sab ek kaam karo. Sab apne wallets and belongings mere is bag me daal do nahi to gum ho jayega. 🤑🤑🤑
Jash - Guys tum sabne bohat pee rakhi hai. To tum sab ek kaam karo. Sab apne wallets and belongings Akriti ke bag me daal do nahi to gum ho jayega. 🤪
Sachin - Akriti ye sab mat kar yaar. I know tera kya plan hai 🤦‍♂️
Akriti - Chotu jyada faltu ki bakwaas mat karna mujhse samjhe. Poore season tumko itne favors kiye hain. Meri wajeh se tum aaj yaha khade ho. Chalo ab favor return karo and niklo yaha se 😏
Akriti - Ayushman tum bade chup khade ho aaj. Kuch bol kuy nahi rahe ?
Ayushman - Bola bhi to editors ne kaat hi dena hai sab and tujhe hi dikhana hai. Kuy karu fir bekaar me mehnat 😐
And that was the last time they saw Akriti and their belongings 💀