And I doubt she'll trust them anyways.
Bit of context: I'm non binary (25yo) and come out to most of my family, no one uses my new name and correct pronouns because it would be a mess with my dad and grandma (and I'm the one that choose not to change things for now) but there are some people that would switch to what I want in a heartbeat if I asked them, and that is enough for me to know I can trust them with my gender, and I feel validated by other things they told me. Other relatives don't understand it and I doubt will ever call me anything different than my birth name, but I understand I can't have everything and that's ok. My mum tho... She's a whole other story. Also, I'm italian, so I hope everything makes sense.
I've been in lists for bloodwork and other exams and psychology assesments (like dysphoria diagnosis) in order to see the endocrinologist and get HRT, my mother knows I'm non binary and I told her and tried to explain to her many times (even once with my therapist, and my therapist agrees with me that it's like talking to a wall). I also told her I'm doing these HRT things and she said she would help in looking for doctors and driving me to the appointments but that I had to come up with the money for the visits myself (oh, nice, thanks mum /s).
One day, late on the evening, she calls me and tells me

I can't take you to get the bloodwork the day after tomorrow, can I cancel it and take it a bit later?

I was pretty exhausted so I said "yeah it's ok", without thinking much about it because I figured those appointments can be max in a week time waiting list, so I was fine with waiting that bit more. The next morning she calls me and had taken it A MONTH AND A WEEK LATER (she choose the date) and I was crushed, but I manged to understand my feeling, and that I wasn't ok with that at all, only in the evening. I texted her asking to move it sooner or I'd do it myself, that it was too much time and I just can't wait anymore (I was being kinda dramatic bc there are still months before other assessments, but it felt like my life depended on it). She was like

ok but don't take it soon you'll have to move it again and pay again It's not like you're paying for it anyways

Then she kept insisting to postpone and similar stuff so I asked her

do you even want to help me? Might be just my feeling, but it feels like you're always putting yourself in my way even when you're saying the contrary

She got defensive and started saying her usual stuff like that I'm not grateful and I'm so bad at keeping the house clean and she doesn't even make me feel bad about the fact that I don't work or study (this is a lie, she does) and so I asked her

Ok, so can I ask you something easy to do to show me you want to help? Can you call me by my chosen name and pronouns when we're alone?

She didn't answer and kept going on with other arguments, I reiterated but she kept avoiding the question, she instead said that

Whoever you are. If you're looking for yourself. I don't call you in any way, person.

Don't mind how weird it sounds, she speaks weird in italian too, but that "if you're looking for yourself" and the fact that she'd rather call me "person" than my chosen name was horrible, it made me understand - coupled with other stuff she said before about me "being sick and needing the right medical path" - that she's just waiting for the doctors to see if I'm sick and stop me from getting HRT... When I first talked to her about HRT she was talking about the fact that I'm fat, about a surgery I had that could stop me from it, about the fact that she has a genetic disease that might stop me from it etc... And it could have been read as worry before, as being cautious and wanting to check all the possibilities so I don't have sad surprises after I start HRT... But it never was that, not even a bit, it was just a way to control my visits and send me to the path of failure (in her eyes, ofc psychologists would know better than not giving me HRT).
It was awful, that "if you're looking for yourself" was totally unexpected to me because I never had doubts since I told my therapist and that was months ago, and I was questioning for around 3 years already, and I never make a choice without thinking and I never wagered about wanting HRT a being non binary with my mother, so it's all her own mind that made this shit up. I'm tired.
This happened a while ago but I'm still very angry at her, I'm reaching a place where I know I won't be able to forgive her and it makes me actually feel better, at least I'll feel less guilty when I'll go little to no contact.
This is a rant about other stuff that I feel it's related but not specific about gender: I'm pretty sure about the thing that she doesn't believe I'm non binary because she didn't believe I was depressed either, just like she doesn't believe I am probably autistic (my psychologist also agrees with me) and doesn't listen to me when I tell her that I'm still in depression/autistic burnout and it's fucking hard to wake up in the morning, so how the fuck could I keep a job? Luckily my country has public healthcare, it's like €20/36 every visit - even if long waiting lists- so I can probably manage with some tutoring I do to some kids (plus, luckily my aunt understans me and would pay for it). But mother is very pushy to me about the fact that I need a job, even when I told her that in order to heal from autistic burnout I literally have to NOT have responsibilities and take them back slowly or I get overwhelmed and relapse right away (I know ot, I tried). And as responsibility I mean even dumb shit like brushing my teeth, I swear to god I'd never curse anyone to feel as hopeless as I do and as useless, but she can't understand me and doesn't believe me, it's like I'm a kid all over again and whatever I say had the same importance as a riffle of wind, unremarkable and unimportant.
TLDR: My mum is an asshole and thinks I'm mentally ill and that's why I want HRT. I actually am mentally ill (depression and autistic burnout) but that's BECAUSE I haven't been formally diagnosed all my life (CPTSD, dysphoria and probably both autism and ADHD). Plus, she doesn't want to pay for my HRT visits, and that would be like € 100/180 btw.

MARCH 25th: Prelude Raid
• P diddy’s houses (Cali/Fla/NY) get raided by the FEDS.. all I remember is his neighbor said it be so bad.. that when I play basketball the ball go over the fence I don’t go over there, I let the ball B. (Referring to diddy house being crazy weird)
MARCH 26th: The Diss (Intro)
• Kendrick sends a diss in like that verse.
APRIL 5th: Sorry, plead the 5th situation.
• J Cole, drops a good little warm up the beef album. Got everyone enticed like what’s poppin? What’s going on? Then sorry I’m not playing video games with y’all no more going outside to ride my bike in the city. Ye droppin soon….
• Kanye tries to make a diss record but gets ignored by everyone - says F it - randomly opens up a porno company… telling us this is what y’all about to be watching a rapPorn-reporting beef battle.
APRIL 19th - MAY 5th: BEEF
• Drakes replies to Kendrick a month later with push ups. Then Kendrick droppin diss hits. Then Drake droppin diss hits. These two start PANDEMIC LEVEL beefing’ 100%.
MAY 5th - MAY 13th: WEIRD SHIT TURNOUT
• Someone shoots at Drake crib & bReachin’
• No more beef or disses, everyone no longer spoiled.
• TDE says beef is over then the riddler Pops up with all this crazy stuff say he gonna end careers
• Labels, Estates & Studios start doing smear campaigns, lawsuiting & BOT attacking
• Randomly the riddler (don’t even wanna say his name anymore) keeps showing up with fraud antics, extorting attempts, and spiraling rabbit hole gimmicks all this, care about why I got fired from my hotel job.
• AK (music influencer) all over the place, can’t figure out the riddler or crack the case. Also catching cases couple allegations deletes his Instagram.
• Bunch of a people affiliated with either side start deleting their Instagram & twitters accounts.
OUTCOMES: Bottomline
• Not like us billboard #1, followed by euphoria & then Drake with Family Matters all in top 10.
• KDOT caught twofer off the billboard.
• Tons of PGlang Promo for KDOT no more TDE
• People still left with NO information either these beef’s lying or rappin about. Theres no solid paperwork style verification or validation. Still all just word of mouth, hearsay, I know he did but I don’t know.
• Kanye not droppin album or is he?
• Drakes on vacation summer vibes.
• KDOT become a mute vanished.
• Diddy aka Mr. FreakOff trying desperately to avoid courts & lawsuits meaning this dude is in some serious HEAT. This whole time diddy been in flames someone need to go check on him make sure he show up to court like trump when the time comes.
That’s my understanding of all this from 10,000ft view like.. that’s all I know fam, is there anything else?

SOME BACKGROUND:
I'm going to be upfront; the one thing truly stopping me from saying I am autistic with full certainty is my lack of an official diagnosis, despite having the knowledge that one does not need to be diagnosed to be autistic. I'm almost entirely certain after about 8 or so years of consideration. I'm attempting to seek a diagnosis not only for personal validation though, but also to have something concrete to give to my parents. For now, I consider myself self-diagnosed, though I've given my psychiatrist a 20 page document detailing why I believe I would benefit from a proper evaluation as well as all of the experiences and the collection of traits I have that I attribute to being autistic.
For some background: I am 20 and AFAB, transmasc but presenting as female due to not being out of the closet. I am Vietnamese and part of the first generation in my family to be born in America. My parents and grandparents were born and raised in Vietnam, and thus were raised with a very different culture surrounding things such as mental health and disability compared to the information I've had access to growing up in the US. I still live with my parents and am struggling with already diagnosed mental health issues including major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, unspecified ADHD, and an unspecified trauma disorder. Because of the language and cultural barrier, my parents are really only aware of the depression in name, and the ADHD they understand even less. They are trying their best, though my dad hasn't looked at any of the resources I've sent him about ADHD or autism in my attempts to help him understand better.
On my dad in particular: he has always been the kind to believe in toughing things out and simply trying harder. Over the years he has grown to be more understanding, especially as my mental health issues grew to degrees that became harder to hide, but we have a history in terms of what I'm about to describe re: my very recent meltdown.
WHAT HAPPENED:
The day before Mother's Day, my dad sprung up on me without warning that me and my younger brother were going over to our paternal grandparents' house to wish our grandmother a happy Mother's Day. This immediately upset me not because I didn't want to go, but because I hadn't had the time to mentally prepare myself for the shift in my routine—I had only done so for the actual date of Mother's Day. I've asked my family before that I am told ahead of time when plans to go out of the house where I'm involved are made, preferably at least a day beforehand. Unfortunately, my family is comprised of very spontaneous people who tend to make plans on the fly.
I made it clear I was fairly upset about not being told ahead of time to my mother, who thanked me when I got up to get ready to go. Something about being thanked for this was the final nail in the coffin for the upset that was gripping me. I think it was the idea that she knew full well that I was attempting to set aside my own comforts(? for lack of a better term) for the sake of family normality; something that I've had to do often.
I had a quiet breakdown in the bathroom while I washed myself, which came with the annoyance of how snotty tears would make you. Very annoying when bowing your head to wash your hair. I've had practice locking myself in the bathroom to have my breakdowns in a private place where I couldn't be walked in on and then questioned, because I always knew that I could never explain why I was having such a disproportionate reaction, especially given the cultural barrier. It would all seem stupid, immature, selfish, spoiled, and an overreaction. My plan was to cry it out in the shower and come back out after composing myself so we could leave. Tried and true method. I bit the back of my hands—to stifle my crying, to give myself a physical sensation to ground myself with, some combination of those two. It helped only a little bit.
As it turns out, there was a lot of baggage behind this upset outside of just this one incident. There is a very long-running pattern in which I must sacrifice my comfort or suck up my complaints in order to appease whatever my parents have decided to do, or whatever I was expected to do.
Sometimes it was their obsession with taking billions of family pictures—I vividly recall one instance where I was horribly upset about having to wear a dress, especially for the sole sake of driving to some flower field just to take pretty family pictures of which we have thousands. I was much younger at the time, maybe 14, and was expressing my upset in the only somewhat acceptable way I could, i.e. being incredibly grumpy. Eventually my dad blew up at me for being spoiled and various other things while I cried in the back of the car, my mother and younger brother dead silent. He drove to cool off. We did not talk about it ever again afterward.
Sometimes it was school-related. When I was around 11, I was struggling to complete an assignment for school for reasons I couldn't articulate, and honestly still can't. It was simple, and it was a drawing assignment, and I absolutely adored traditional art. But I was simply Stuck on some part, and was working myself into an anxious mess up until midnight. I was terrified of getting bad grades, of not meeting the expectations of people I considered authority figures, such as teachers. So much so that I wanted to stay home. And knowing I had no "proper" excuse, I tried to use a different one when I asked to stay home for that one day: menstrual cramps. I was told to see how I was doing in the morning.
In the morning I still said I wished to stay home from school due to cramps. After a lot of deliberation with my mother, she relented and allowed me to stay home. Despite the fact that I had gotten what I wanted, I was already horribly upset. Looking back on it, I think it was the fact that I had to fight so hard to stay home for just one day. It was upsetting that my visible upset wasn't enough. It was upsetting that they weren't just getting it.
I had a breakdown in the bathroom (there's a trend here as you can see) and slammed my arm against the heater in there so many times that I ended up with horrible bruising on the back of my arm the days after. My family members knocked on the door because people needed to get ready, and that only made me more upset—couldn't they hear me crying? Didn't they care? When I finally came out and crawled up into the upper bunk, my dad came in and started yelling at me.
Your average stuff, things like, "If I had a stomachache I wouldn't just be able to not go to work." I blocked a lot of it out of my memory, but most of the time I was under the covers crying while he engaged in a one-sided shouting match with me. Eventually my mother came in and gently asked me to stop crying, and to stop making my father mad.
While these two incidents and the others like them happened years ago, they were defining moments in my life and inform how I handle conflict (as in: I don't) and how I go about expressing my struggles (as in: rarely, and often with great shame). Standing in the shower and being unable to not think about these things, I spiraled further. It felt like I was being swallowed by my emotions. I don't know if angry or sad or upset really capture what I was feeling properly. My thoughts were like a car with its brakes cut, going at breakneck speeds on the highway.
By the time I was done with my shower I still wasn't composed. As it turns out, when you abuse a coping mechanism that relies on repression as long as I did, it stops working at some point. There was just too much to try and hide. More hand biting happened along with some hitting my head with my fists. So I sat in my room, and eventually my mom came in and saw my face. Unsurprisingly she didn't acknowledge the fact that I had clearly been crying—instead, with a soft voice, like she was coaxing a small child into doing something vaguely unpleasant, she told me, "Come on, let's go." And I'm sure that's how she was seeing me at that point. An oppositional, defiant child. I struggle not to see myself in that way, and still have been trying to unpack how much shame I feel when things like this happen.
My crying started up again because my tear ducts really don't like listening to me, and I asked somewhat incredulously, "You're still going to make me go?" In retrospect, it probably sounded bratty. Here I was, 20 years old, complaining about being "made" to go somewhere.
It took maybe a couple of seconds for my mom to decide to just let me stay home instead.
Once everyone was out, I had the loudest cry I'd ever experienced in my life. I'd never had the opportunity to, and so it just kind of... came out once the house was silent. I think I might've wailed. And then I promptly shut the hell up once I heard my [maternal] grandmother coming back upstairs. She passed by my room, asked why I didn't go (not noticing the state of my face, maybe due to eyesight). I gave a non-answer and she made some exasperated remark that I don't know how to translate into English. It nearly set me off again, knowing how inconvenient I was, how tired they all were of me and my antics.
I had a headache for the next 20 or so hours, which I knew would happen based on past experiences with breakdowns as emotionally taxing as this one. I'd also predicted during the whole thing that the next day I would be pretty nonfunctional, which I was unfortunately also right about. Whenever these things happen it throws my entire week off. It's upsettingly debilitating. Two days later, I'm somewhat functional, but the whole thing disrupted my... everything. I have an exam that I had planned to study for during the days I was busy trying to get myself back together emotionally. The headache actually came back, and is sitting with me nicely while I type this. Hey there.
The day immediately after, Mother's Day: I was pretty fearful the entire time. Mostly of what my dad was going to do. Best case scenario, he'd come into my room and we could have an open dialogue and communicate about what happened. Worst case scenario, he'd regress and revert back to how he'd been like years ago, screaming at me for my incompetence, my selfishness, my refusal to cooperate with the smallest things despite all our family does for me. After a little bit I had to add on a third possibility: that he would simply go about like nothing happened, which he has also done before. Generally though, I wasn't optimistic about my chances here. I learned through this that I absolutely don't trust him to handle my larger, more intrusive, more ugly issues with grace.
He's been ignoring my existence since my little meltdown. No hellos, good mornings, not even looking at me. He's talking with everyone else as normal. I've been keeping my head down and can really only assume that he's angry with me as I'd expected and based on what I know about him/understand in terms of his personality through prior experience.
While I could give benefit of the doubt and say he may be attempting to give me space, he's the kind of person who you can tell when he's angry. It's something we share. And it's truly more likely that he's upset about me throwing what looked to him like a shitfit over something small and inconsequential, refusing to do something as simple as a visit to make his mothemy paternal grandmother to give Mother's Day gifts. And I didn't get my propensity for avoiding communication and unpleasant conversations at all costs from nowhere, so. Here we are.
I still don't really know if what I had was an autistic meltdown or a "standard" emotional breakdown, whatever that even looks like. I think I'm used to framing my behaviors with neurotypical language, and often language that isn't too kind to myself. So on top of venting a bit, I also wanted to get an outside perspective, and see whether my breakdown sounded similar to any other autistic peoples' experiences with meltdowns.
If there's any advice out there to give in terms of my relationship with my dad, that would also be appreciated. I love my family, but it all hurts, and this has also made me realize that I may have a lot more trauma to unpack surrounding my family than I've acknowledged.
I've been considering getting a physical copy of Sincerely, Your Autistic Child to annotate and highlight certain sections, putting sticky tabs on chapters I find relevant, and providing definitions for words I know he hasn't come across before, to give to him and ask him to at least attempt to read those bits. The more bitter and angry part of me, the part that are tired of having to be the one to accommodate for everything interpersonally, just wants to go up to him and tell him the reason I never go to him when I'm upset is because I'm scared. To tell him exactly what all those times he yelled at me did to my ability to self-advocate, to tell him what all those times my emotions and emotional well being were devalued did to my self-esteem. That the "interpersonally submissive" phrase from my 40 page psych report has roots in the way he raised me entirely on obedience, and how I am still learning that I am allowed to say no in all sorts of contexts. Maybe I can do both of these things, and probably when he isn't pretending I don't exist, and when I feel less like I'll fall to bits the moment I open my mouth in his direction. I'll likely try and avoid using language that outright blames him for the sake of maintaining a good relationship whenever the talk comes around.
I'm still trying to accept the fact that I might need more support than I allowed myself to think. I only recently found out that truly voicing that I'm having academic trouble is something that brings me so much shame that tears spring up in my eyes—going to the Disability Support Services office on my campus made me far more emotional and nervous than I'd expected. With how I'm navigating my own self-acceptance, I don't know how I'm going to get my family to accept that I'm not the "normal" child I know they still wished I was.

Feeling completely lost
I (M, 28) have been married to my wife (F, 27) for 7 years now. We have had many ups and downs. But we always pushed thru things. Our biggest challenge was within the first year of marriage where she walked out and cheated on me with multiple men. Now I had to accept the role I played in it, and the fact that we had a major fight the night before this happened. We both worked hard thru it, and after a little over a year our marriage grew from that.
Today on pure chance as I was taking her Apple Watch off our shared charger to charge mine, I notched she got a message. And the name was a man I know is her coworker. I opened the message only to my shock found out she texts him daily. Good morning, hope your day is better, those kinda of things. Then I read her call him “Big Daddy” not once, multiple times.
When I asked her she said it was a joke, and it meant nothing. She says she thought I would understand that it was a joke, and that she didn’t understand why I am upset.
I just feel so lost and honestly betrayed. After everything we had been thru, I really thought I could trust her again. And for a moment I did trust her again, now I’m not so sure.
I hope I’m not over reacting, but I feel like my feelings, my emotions, and my hurt are valid. I just feel so numb to this at this point
How would you react? How should I have reacted?

I (M, 28) have been married to my wife (F, 27) for 7 years now. We have had many ups and downs. But we always pushed thru things. Our biggest challenge was within the first year of marriage where she walked out and cheated on me with multiple men. Now I had to accept the role I played in it, and the fact that we had a major fight the night before this happened. We both worked hard thru it, and after a little over a year our marriage grew from that.
Today on pure chance as I was taking her Apple Watch off our shared charger to charge mine, I notched she got a message. And the name was a man I know is her coworker. I opened the message only to my shock found out she texts him daily. Good morning, hope your day is better, those kinda of things. Then I read her call him “Big Daddy” not once, multiple times.
When I asked her she said it was a joke, and it meant nothing. She says she thought I would understand that it was a joke, and that she didn’t understand why I am upset.
I just feel so lost and honestly betrayed. After everything we had been thru, I really thought I could trust her again. And for a moment I did trust her again, now I’m not so sure.
I hope I’m not over reacting, but I feel like my feelings, my emotions, and my hurt are valid. I just feel so numb to this at this point
How would you react? How should I have reacted?

-Its too dayum difficult to get an American Express credit card. If I share my personal experience after providing them with my bank statement, my past three month salary slips, my ITR fillings they still asked for two more proofs of income. Its too big a hassle for a card half of India wont accept. I get it you get referrals and gifts and all. But honestly its like luring kids into Omni with toffee.
AmEx is like the Amway of credit card world. Its better to opt for other cards than this. For SmartEarn the minimum income is 4.5 LPA. I was 20 my first salary was 14k and HDFC offered me Moneyback with 40k limit still grateful for that. Amex has one thing and one thing only. Its name.
-Cred is fine. People need to stop dissing on it. I know people who have won free TV sets via Cred. Yesterday I made two bill payments got like Rs. 12 sometimes I get 1. The whole point of credit cards was to make life easier and rewarding. People need to chill out. Pay your bills and relax not every aspect of our being shall earn us rewards. Those with credit cards are already getting better offers and deals that should be enough.
The main motive with Cred should always be easy bill payments. Fast and reliable. Thats its. Also to those who shall come up with Cheq or Mobikwik or HDFC RBL Cards. Its simple not worth it. Not everyone has an account in HDFC I personally got it closed. Pay through your cards and relax with the bills.
-People make a big deal of conversion ratios, partner points. Booking Accor hotels, flights. The prices for those are already ramped up. So no big deal, if you try booking through a good travel agent you would get a better deal. Im surprised all these credit card enthusiasts never talk about. Also I always wonder how these people go on vacation this much. I dont get the time to simply do it maybe my bad.
I personally have seen that HDFC SmartBuy and Axis Grabdeals sometimes offer higher rates for stuff than others. So it really isnt worth the extra points if the prices have gone high. Tried this with Myntra. You could see for yourself and you shall see the difference.
-No one bank or credit card issuer sucks. Everyone make mistakes. Happens . Move on. You do what best gets you started. No need to follow on in others footsteps or get influenced by others.
-Simple cards are the best. Straightforward rewards no siyapa.
-Swipe, tap, enjoy. Its a tool to make life manageable and easy. Not a game we have to play on repeat.
-MoneyBack sucks but it was a good start for many.
-Comparing what you have to be and give to het Infinia it doesn’t matter. It’s a super premium card for the elites. It doesn’t matter how good it is when most of us cant get it.
-Also a-lot of people ask this rate my credit card collection on this sub. Buddy you have it. Are you happy.? If you are stay that way. You don’t need validation from strangers. If you are not ask for suggestions. I think many are showing off many simply want opinions its fine. What suits you. Just sharing my stuff.

The reason this is in off my chest is because even if I’m over him emotionally, my mind still finds ways to hold on. It’s tempting to keep reminding myself what he did to me, why it was so bad, and to ask other people if I’m right to feel that way. It’s not that I doubt that I should, but more like I’d spent so long in that relationship having to justify my feelings and being invalidated and judged that I feel like I can’t.
I know this is a me problem. I know this is a significant issue on my end, of relapsing into some fairly toxic mindsets. And I know that I’m over him. I’m just sick of thinking of him, sick of hearing his name, sick of being reminded of what he did to me by the littlest things, and sick of my thought process drawing associations to him in my own work. It’s burning me out. And while he is responsible for this inherent need for justification and validation appearing in me after so long, the fact is I continue to perpetuate it because it is hard to crawl out of.

Like, the obsessive focus on celebrities instead of politicians/lawmakers/military, the feeling of moral validation from having "never liked x famous person," the belief that you have to avoid any content at all associated with Israel or Zionism in order to be morally clean... it feels like a parody of itself at this point.
I just learned about the TikTok Blockout 2024 thing and it is the most ridiculous, slacktivist nonsense I've ever seen. I saw one video where a girl said it's "more effective" to go after celebrities because politicians are useless cuz nobody knows when their own local elections are.... and then immediately admitted she didn't either. I've seen people talking about how these celebrities are profiting off of exploiting "the people".... Um, no, random teenaged white girl, you're enjoying their services, the people getting exploited are their interns, aids, and PR managers.
I get that people are desperate, but at a certain point, this feels more like a moral panic than a genuine attempt at a boycott. I'm not even sure what's being boycotted exactly. I saw Mandy Patinkin on the list of celebs even though he's called for a ceasefire. I've seen celebrities be boycotted just cause they're not saying any thing? (even though plenty of the people have said something?) Timothy Charlamagne is being boycotted cuz he was caught with a Starbucks cup and made a joke about having a band named Hamas in an SNL video from over half a year ago???

Like, the obsessive focus on celebrities instead of politicians/lawmakers/military, the feeling of moral validation from having "never liked x famous person," the belief that you have to avoid any content at all associated with Israel or Zionism in order to be morally clean... it feels like a parody of itself at this point.
I just learned about the TikTok Blockout 2024 thing and it is the most ridiculous, slacktivist nonsense I've ever seen. I saw one video where a girl said it's "more effective" to go after celebrities because politicians are useless cuz nobody knows when their own local elections are.... and then immediately admitted she didn't either. I've seen people talking about how these celebrities are profiting off of exploiting "the people".... Um, no, random teenaged white girl, you're enjoying their services, the people getting exploited are their interns, aids, and PR managers.
I get that people are desperate, but at a certain point, this feels more like a moral panic than a genuine attempt at a boycott. I'm not even sure what's being boycotted exactly. I saw Mandy Patinkin on the list of celebs even though he's called for a ceasefire. I've seen celebrities be boycotted just cause they're not saying any thing? (even though plenty of the people have said something?) Timothy Charlamagne is being boycotted cuz he was caught with a Starbucks cup and made a joke about having a band named Hamas in an SNL video from over half a year ago???

TW/CW: Family abuse, helicopter parents, lack of autonomy, etc.
We are a system dating a system. Long distance (10000+ miles). Met them before, in-person, for a week.
System wide we speak daily and used to go on video chats as we go about our day (as with a lot of long distance relationships). They used to live away from their abusive mother as they were in college and live on a college managed apartment.
Recently they got academically suspended and while they technically could still live there as long as they passed some background checks (such as criminal records etc), their mum threatened to accuse them of stealing their car and call the police on them if they refuse to move back with her. And according to our partner system, their mom always has a way to lie to the police to get them to believe them.
Even whilst living away from their mother, they have been under the vice grip of their mom. They are bodily 22 and we are bodily 34. Even whilst living away, all their electronics are tracked (apple brand) by their mum, with parental controls, their bank is monitored by their mom (we don't know how but the account is under our partner system's name and it's a personal account), and they financially depend on their mom. They are sometimes told by their mom they aren't allowed to have friends.
Their mom has their DID diagnostic reports but still remains in denial of their DID.
Oftentimes their mom will call them, usually daily, sometimes multiple times a day, only to micromanage them, treat them like they are some 6 year old with zero autonomy respected, and giving them constant overwhelming stress that their trauma responses bleeds into our partnership. Quarrels with their mom on the phone everyday.
Now because of the academic suspension, and even though they could still continue to live where they used to live (next to the college), their mom, via threats as mentioned above, forced them to move back with her. They are now living with her.
We as a system cannot fathom how much problems their mom would cause them. We pain for them. And they would be under constant CCTV monitoring with audio with kinda zero privacy. As of now they probably can't even leave the house "without valid reason", nevermind that they are a legal adult.
Now they can't even update their apps from the app store because their mom disabled the entire apple account via parental controls and they can't even download an app for DID therapy (our DID therapist found them one). Specifically Telehealth. Now they can't even download an app for therapy. And God forbid their mom finds out they are going for therapy for DID.
Oh wait. Did I also mention? They don't have money for therapy. And finding their mom for therapy money isn't going to work out if she's going to find out it's for their DID, seeing an ISSTD certified therapist. And how is therapy going to be confidential if they are going to be monitored by a sound enabled CCTV anyway? Good grief.
Oh forgot to mention. Even their mom has access to their email account. And now they are living with her.
We will miss what we usually do with them while they weren't living with their mom. So much more when this is a hyper long distance relationship. We are fighting for their right to autonomy as well as access to DID therapy. We want to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
End of rant. Thank you for listening.
Tim
Secondary Protector
Memory Gatekeeper
Relationship Protector

OG thread & Summary: Our "buyer" missed the earnest money deadline on a full cash offer and never provided proof of initiating the transfer despite claiming they did. They waived the appraisal but conducted one anyway (they didn't end up paying for or seeing), citing future financing needs. We considered terminating the contract but decided to proceed in good faith. However, after 72 hours with no earnest money or proof of transaction initiation, and discovering they haven't paid the inspectors or appraiser, we terminated the contract.
https://www.reddit.com/RealEstate/comments/1coc14z/comment/l3wu7ya/?context=3
Update 05/13:
Agents poked around and discovered that another agent from the same brokerage had a similar experience with the same buyer. The buyer used the same names and story. Further inquiry revealed that this buyer has done the same thing with five other properties at another high-end brokerage, which has now banned them from future offers. Our brokerage is likely to do the same.
Nobody knows this buyer's true agenda, but they are clearly a habitual defaulter. I’m tempted to contact the buyer's supposed employer (a full-service registered broker-dealer and SEC-registered investment adviser) to expose this foolery, though I suspect their employment credentials might also be false... And I will not as it was pointed out below, it's not illegal to default on a contract etc. Anyhow. It's puzzling since they provided proof of funds for a cash purchase in the $2M range, and the bank verified these funds were valid. Yet, they continue making offers with no intention of following through on any of therm.
Anyhow, we are back on the market. This "buyer" can now officially EABOD.

Ugh, please be nice reddit. I just can't tell with this one.
I joined a social club and met a guy named Ethan (m20) in September. I felt some attraction to him, but was in a long-term relationship at the time, so of course did nothing to act on it. We both took on roles in the club causing us to work closer together around October. I got out of the long term relationship (5 years) in December, and experienced some bad repercussions (stalking, hacked technology, passive threats) by my ex as a result. It was so scary that someone who I saw a legitimate future with turned so cruel and manipulative at the drop of a hat, and though I do not want to go into the extent of everything he did, I should mention affected my schooling, training and permanently ruined my trust in people.
Long story short: Ethan and I admitted feelings in late February. Since he had met my ex and I was still dealing with the tail end of the stalking, I told him about what was going on. When we were talking about the feelings we had for each other, we were laughing over the fact we both believed the other person was out of our league. He also said he pictured me as the type of person he would see himself in a relationship with.
However, I made it clear to him that I do not want a relationship. Though I liked him and wanted to get to know him, I expressed I do not like the idea of relationships right now. He said he had been in many situationships before and was used to them. It didn't have to be anything serious, we could just enjoy each other's company, cuddle, go on dates, have everything be lighthearted.
So, we did that for a while. We dove right into learning about each other and were very upfront about our downfalls. He mentioned he was the jealous type and had been cheated on before, so he feels the need to be overly performative to try and get people to stay. For the second part, I had felt similar in my previous relationship (though my ex hadn't cheated), so I immediately understood what he meant by always having to put on a face for the other person.
While discussing boundaries, Ethan mentioned even during situationships he only ever sees one person at a time and doesn't sleep around. Though we are not together and official, it was an easy tradeoff to just say I wouldn't see other people while he and I were seeing each other--I had no intention to anyway and don't want to do hookups. So, at this point, at his preference, neither of us are planning to see anyone else. I thought that would be it.
Now, a couple of days ago, we were doing a check up on how each of us are doing. I am very happy in our current position--we care about each other, have compatible interests, are sexually compatible and both have been in similar previous relationships and understand what the other has been through. At the same time, it is not so serious that I am worried. He, however, expressed that he still does want a relationship at some point, and went into all that of this with the intention of changing my mind on relationships. He described how the dating phase is like him giving a "sample" of what he would be like as a boyfriend--and this immediately made me wonder how much of this has simply just been him performing.
Here is where I don't know if I'm overreacting: I feel as though he misrepresented what he actually wanted for his own gain. I am greatly struggling with trust since my breakup and for this reason don't know if it's valid that this has affected the trust I had for him. Especially with the "sample" description he's given, I am truly wondering how much he is acting just to try and get me closer. Especially since he knew about the stalking and other scary things my ex did, I had hoped he would feel the need to be upfront and honest with me. I'm meeting up with him on Wednesday to talk about this, and just want to get others opinions on the situation.

Ugh, please be nice reddit. I just can't tell with this one.
I joined a social club and met a guy named Ethan (m20) in September. I felt some attraction to him, but was in a long-term relationship at the time, so of course did nothing to act on it. We both took on roles in the club causing us to work closer together around October. I got out of the long term relationship (5 years) in December, and experienced some bad repercussions (stalking, hacked technology, passive threats) by my ex as a result. It was so scary that someone who I saw a legitimate future with turned so cruel and manipulative at the drop of a hat, and though I do not want to go into the extent of everything he did, I should mention affected my schooling, training and permanently ruined my trust in people.
Long story short: Ethan and I admitted feelings in late February. Since he had met my ex and I was still dealing with the tail end of the stalking, I told him about what was going on. When we were talking about the feelings we had for each other, we were laughing over the fact we both believed the other person was out of our league. He also said he pictured me as the type of person he would see himself in a relationship with.
However, I made it clear to him that I do not want a relationship. Though I liked him and wanted to get to know him, I expressed I do not like the idea of relationships right now. He said he had been in many situationships before and was used to them. It didn't have to be anything serious, we could just enjoy each other's company, cuddle, go on dates, have everything be lighthearted.
So, we did that for a while. We dove right into learning about each other and were very upfront about our downfalls. He mentioned he was the jealous type and had been cheated on before, so he feels the need to be overly performative to try and get people to stay. For the second part, I had felt similar in my previous relationship (though my ex hadn't cheated), so I immediately understood what he meant by always having to put on a face for the other person.
While discussing boundaries, Ethan mentioned even during situationships he only ever sees one person at a time and doesn't sleep around. Though we are not together and official, it was an easy tradeoff to just say I wouldn't see other people while he and I were seeing each other--I had no intention to anyway and don't want to do hookups. So, at this point, at his preference, neither of us are planning to see anyone else. I thought that would be it.
Now, a couple of days ago, we were doing a check up on how each of us are doing. I am very happy in our current position--we care about each other, have compatible interests, are sexually compatible and both have been in similar previous relationships and understand what the other has been through. At the same time, it is not so serious that I am worried. He, however, expressed that he still does want a relationship at some point, and went into all that of this with the intention of changing my mind on relationships. He described how the dating phase is like him giving a "sample" of what he would be like as a boyfriend--and this immediately made me wonder how much of this has simply just been him performing.
Here is where I don't know if I'm overreacting: I feel as though he misrepresented what he actually wanted for his own gain. I am greatly struggling with trust since my breakup and for this reason don't know if it's valid that this has affected the trust I had for him. Especially with the "sample" description he's given, I am truly wondering how much he is acting just to try and get me closer. Especially since he knew about the stalking and other scary things my ex did, I had hoped he would feel the need to be upfront and honest with me. I'm meeting up with him on Wednesday to talk about this, but AIO?

Hi Everyone! I'm a Product Manager on Terraform and we recently released Terraform 1.9 Alpha. Some of the new functionality includes:

• variable_validation_crossref: This language experiment allows validation blocks inside input variable declarations to refer to other objects inside the module where the variable is declared, including to the values of other input variables in the same module.
• template_string_func: This language experiment introduces a new built-in function named templatestring which is similar to templatefile but designed to render templates obtained dynamically, such as from a data resource result.
• terraform test accepts a new option -junit-xml=FILENAME. If specified, and if the test configuration is valid enough to begin executing, then Terraform writes a JUnit XML test result report to the given filename, describing similar information as included in the normal test output. (#34291)

I'm very excited about this release, and would love for you to try it and share your thoughts! You can provide feedback in the comments or email me directly at [garvita.rai@hashicorp.com](mailto:garvita.rai@hashicorp.com). Thanks!

Hello, ive hear that it should be less than 5% .... some people recycle their domain names if it reaches over this threshold . I paid a service to validate my emails and i still got bounce at 16%
So, if this is really an issue Ill just have to get a better service that actually validates by sending a blank email i guess, btw they are very expensive.
Does this make sense?

While scrolling about on Reddit, I found a post from TMS: https://www.reddit.com/TheModernSith/comments/12k37fu/the_sith_are_not_extremists/
"I would like to clear up some misconceptions that other groups may have on Sith philosophy. Namely, that the Sith are not some kind of extremists or militants in any way like it may seem to some others. Some may assume that because of the "darker" nature of Sith realism and our furious desire to get what we want, we are in league with these extreme ideologies we see today. This is simply not true. Just because we follow our passions doesn't mean that we enforce our beliefs. As human nature would have it this is more the domain of those kinds of proponents of "peace", "love", "benevolence", and "order" who are willing to use any means necessary to impose their ethics on others without their consent. In the end, they accomplish the opposite and are not so much confused on how they became violent as they welcome the opportunity for this kind of corrupted power.
~~~
The label extremist has become as meaningless today, as have terms like bigotry, racism, and something-or-another-phobic. It is more accurate to say that Sith aren't collectivists, which tends to exclude them from serving in militias or bowing down to governments. Also, when you address the matter of extreme ideologies, which do you refer to? The big bad white collectivists who still follow the funny mustache man's ideas? Maybe you mean the other mustache man's ideas, which lead to the slaughter of millions more? No, I know! You're refering to the ones with the big long beards, who bow five times a day? Wait! I'm wrong! You mean terror--- I mean freedom fighters, who claim they fight to stop fascism, meanwhile destroying private property? You must mean them, right? Sith are certainly what I'd label as extremists and no amount of news media, forcibly demonizing the term will change that
~~~
However, Sithism gives us a different path to follow. Our order is not focused on having others submit to our beliefs but rather we focus on how to develop ourselves. We take whatever means necessary to further our own desires, not to force others to behave as we intend. So far I have never seen a member of the order who went crazy and decided to take out his anger on his close friends. Our path lets us hold ourselves in the highest regard, and not be subject to the influences of a mercurial world where people constantly compete for the attention of their brethren. Instead, we focus entirely on ourselves.
~~~
You proclaim that your order doesn't force people to submit to your beliefs, yet this isn't the case in most experiences I've had with Sith collectives. What usually happens is a lot of group think, banning of opinions and people who challenge you, and even though many of you claim it's not political, you continue to force your political views on everyone, no matter where you go.
~~~
We are self centered and proud of it. We don't need the validation of others. We are capable of looking for opportunities rather than forcing others to hand us responsibilities that we don't deserve. This is one of the principal goals of Sithism, which is self realization rather than delusion. The Sith are not violent or bloodthirsty, because we know that conflict and struggle in a way always exists and this is the part that we are ready to master. We welcome change rather than reacting to difficulties by being consumed by pointless fury and hate.
~~~
If you were merely self centered, you'd not be collectivist, nor support collectivist ideas, which serve only to destroy individuality. When you say Sith aren't violent, aren't extremists, won't force their order on others, you're mistaken. Sith can be violent, though the smart ones don't exercise it needlessly. Also, Sith can and do force their order on others, which is their right to do for their might makes it so. Sith isn't some sanitized ideology, which fits neatly into your plastic wrapped commune, which is surely safe for children. Sith is a turbulent, complex, and difficult to apply ideology.
What you're doing here is what many before you have done, which is try to white wash Sithism into something it's not, purely for your convenience and comfort. That, my dear, is the opposite of what Sithism is; comfort and convenience are mind killers.
~~~
Other beliefs of progress and unity eventually lose track of their original goals and eventually welcome some kind of establishment in the scheme of things. The Sith path however, teaches us not to be ashamed of our human instinct.
~~~
SIthism isn't humanism, dear. If you're looking for that, I recommend LaVey's philosophies or if you're not into the Christian baggage, just take up secular humanism instead.
~~~
If someone doesn't find that they fit along the Sith path, they are welcome to leave as it is up to them. Our ideals only deserves recognition among us so much as it is effective. We accept the more potent aspects of our nature and then use it to realize our own vision, not that of the so called masters who want to decide for us.
~~~
Yes, we decide what works for us. What we don't do is let weak little sobs like you, inject your weakening ideas into the mix while you strut around, claiming to be one of us.
~~~
My advice here is, take what you find useful and discard the rest from both our subreddit and the discord. Everyone is welcome to follow their own nature, and this is what makes us more merit oriented than other groups who place so much emphasis on the belief that the practice itself need not be visible. Belief alone won't lend you power as the progressives, baptists, Jehovah's witnesses, or Muslims might claim for their members. We strive for independence, and imagine possibilities. If you are at the hands of some kind of belief or organization that doesn't serve you, then the most that the Sith path really needs to teach you is that you get to decide for yourself. Let your individuality thrive instead.
~~~
Everyone is welcome to follow their own nature, until they quote a banned book, like a cancelled author, or have political views you don't happen to agree with, you mean. Stop being a hypocrite.
~~~

Howdy - we have a Corporate /23 address range, and generally, email leaves our domain from one address via an external scrubbing service. But one of our bespoke systems needs to send email via a single IP within our range, from a server with a different DNS name from our default.
Gmail is bouncing anything from this address, even though it has valid SPF and DKIM records, because it can't do a reverse lookup from the single IP address to a DNS entry for the server. Ideally, I'd like to route all outbound mail through our standard process, but this is an embedded system from a third party that uses a cloud based email relay to pass the mail upstream, and not easily tweakable.
Our base IP address provider, our NS name service and our DNS providers all claim that they cannot load a PTR record for the single IP address (IP provider will only add one for the two /24 zones).
All other email recipients seem to accept the messages - just GMail not accepting this validation method.
Any ideas on how I can solve it?

I’m grappling with a complicated inheritance issue here in Kentucky and could use some informed guidance. I’m lined up to speak with a local attorney, but I hoped to get some preliminary advice from this knowledgeable community.
Here's the background:

• My step-grandmother wants to leave her house to me. She's the widow of my grandfather, who passed away in 2008 without a will. At the time of his death, the house was still in his and his first wife's (my biological grandmother's) names.
• After my grandfather's death, it appears there was an informal understanding that the house would be for my step-grandmother's use until her passing, at which point it would go to my father to sell or keep whatever he chose. However, both my father and his brother (my uncle) are now estranged from the family due to their previous actions.
• My father has recently found out that my step-grandmother intends to leave the house to me instead of him. Both he and his brother are now claiming, based on Kentucky inheritance laws, that they are entitled half of the estate under dower and curtesy rights. They argue that since they didn’t receive anything when their father died, they should get their share when my step-grandmother passes, potentially forcing the sale of the house.
• My step-grandmother has significant debt (around $13k in car loans, $35k-$40k in credit card debt, and some medical debt), which further complicates the situation.

Given these factors, especially the lack of a will and my father and uncle’s claims, I'm trying to understand the best path forward to ensure the house can be transferred to me as my step-grandmother wishes, without falling into the hands of creditors or being forced into sale by my father or uncle.
Do they have any valid claims under Kentucky law that would enable them to demand their "cut" of the estate? And if so, is there a way to navigate or mitigate these claims in favor of honoring my step-grandmother's intentions?
It should be noted when my grandfather passed away in 2008, and at that time, my dad negotiated with my step-grandmother to pay $10,000 to my biological grandmother to buy out her share and transfer the house solely into my step-grandmother's name. Which it is today.
Any advice on how to proceed, legal mechanisms that might protect the property, or insights into Kentucky's inheritance laws in this context would be immensely helpful. Thanks so much for your time and assistance.

Hello, just had to let it out. uOCPD husband's constant complaining is under my skin. Periodically I get this way, just overloaded with sensory/emotional overwhelm from the ragey tirades about literally everything. The blinds were at the wrong angle just now, that's why the house is so hot, now our AC bill is going to be outrageous...this led to a protracted rant about our community's constant bond elections making our taxes outrageous and we're going to be forced out of our home by these corrupt officials and and and...
45 minutes of top of the voice yelling and gesticulating wildly while milling around the room randomly straightening knickknacks and noticing how many of those need to be dusted and damn it, we're all killing him by the death of 1000 cuts, we're disorganizing "his" house and we're doing it on purpose and and and...
Then it moved on to his coworkers. His job description. How ridiculous everyone is. He does NOT want advice, I've tried that. He just wants to let it all out. There's so much pressure in there, so many priorities, crises, looming catastrophes and nobody ever listens to him.
Honestly yes I tune him out a lot because all he wants is a captive audience and an occasional live criticism target. Today I've just reached the overload point and I know if I say that all these things are not things we have full control over, and thar when it comes to the workplace I've told him the power to change it is only in his hands, not mine, I'm just going to divert the focus from life being generally shit to my being generally shit and I don't have the bandwidth not to scream "that's it, I'm done".
I think I've got a lot of judgmental stuff built up again because he's so fixated on how nothing is ever good enough that he misses even the bare adequacy of whatever experience is under the eye of scrutiny at the moment. Like dude, you spent all of lunch bitching about how the chips taste stale. (no. new bag. I'm sure he actually did still experience the flavor as not fresh enough because it cannot be perfect, he has to expose the flaws.) Yet he ate every chip and never once noticed it was a beautiful day until it was time to go back to work and then commented how work is robbing him of life he could spend outside on a nice day. I wanted to say dude, shut mouth, open eyes. Stop comparing each moment to perfection and instead try to enjoy the approximation of it right in front of you. Stop whining how unfair it is that it isn't just so. Stop feeling put upon just because it doesn't match your internal Platonic forms. But he's so hard binary in his thinking. Only perfection and unacceptable, no gray area.
Of course I haven't said anything. One, it doesn't help me feel less overstimulated or resentful and two, it will trigger anxiety and shame, which I will then have projected back on me. I don't feel like deepening the torture today. I don't want to start popping my cork at him, either. It would be too easy to do it all the time and then we'll both be wallowing in misery. Three, every attempt I've made at this particular boundary: "once I feel overwhelmed by your concerns, you must stop for the day and either keep a journal or vent to friends" has utterly failed. I'm at the point of having to threaten more consequences than I can actually mete out of he violates again, so of course, it's a moot point.
He's never happy. He's never going to be happy. He won't take advice, he's ego-syntonic and believes he is actually the only person who sees life without biases and cognitive distortions. My choices are binary too, now. Spend my waking hours as a validation platform and moving target, or leave and watch him spiral. I don't quite have the personal grit to go just yet but I can't see myself going much longer. It's been 28 years. I want some peace and quiet eventually. But I'm not really in a place of readiness to just go, and the thought of how it's going to amplify the drama to a fever pitch for an undefined amount of time is just more overload.
I feel terrible for myself angrily griping at strangers, but I decided better you than him today. I'm afraid I'd actually stray into verbal abuse if I didn't tell someone with no skin in the game how pent up and how cooked my goose is today. I had to create an alternate account because I can't even own my feelings under my usual name, I'm that far beyond my own regulatory capacity.
Anyhow, thanks for listening and having a place I can externalize it all safely. This stuff is beyond hard. It's heartbreaking.

I’m new to ML and I keep getting this error when I’m trying to run the YoloV5 model using my gpu. I watched YT for the installation and when I checked if there was a gpu available. It did show that Num of GPU available : 1. How do I solve this?
Error :
train: weights=yolov5s.pt, cfg=, data=data.yaml, hyp=data\hyps\hyp.scratch-low.yaml, epochs=50, batch_size=16, imgsz=640, rect=False, resume=False, nosave=False, noval=False, noautoanchor=False, noplots=False, evolve=None, evolve_population=data\hyps, resume_evolve=None, bucket=, cache=None, image_weights=False, device=0, multi_scale=False, single_cls=False, optimizer=SGD, sync_bn=False, workers=4, project=runs\train, name=exp, exist_ok=False, quad=False, cos_lr=False, label_smoothing=0.0, patience=100, freeze=[0], save_period=-1, seed=0, local_rank=-1, entity=None, upload_dataset=False, bbox_interval=-1, artifact_alias=latest, ndjson_console=False, ndjson_file=False Traceback (most recent call last): File "C:\Users\nimal\Desktop\yolov5\train.py", line 848, in main(opt) File "C:\Users\nimal\Desktop\yolov5\train.py", line 607, in main device = select_device(opt.device, batch_size=opt.batch_size) File "C:\Users\nimal\Desktop\yolov5\utils\torch_utils.py", line 123, in select_device assert torch.cuda.is_available() and torch.cuda.device_count() >= len( AssertionError: Invalid CUDA '--device 0' requested, use '--device cpu' or pass valid CUDA device(s).

Or rather, in a dedicated repost, because silly me couldn't read the pinned post and wait a few hours before posting my text the first time.
​
After giving a proper rewrite to Ayano, it's now time to do the same for her love interest. But first, I must give my apologises. The title of my post is "Reworking Taro", but it's actually misleading because there was barely any work to redo to begin with. Ok, there was the easy jab at the original character. Reading my previous rewrite posts isn't necessary to understand this one, but would allow you to grasp the differences with the official game better. If you're too lazy to do so, just keep in mind that my rewrite is a bit more social-focused. Anyway, here's my full-fledged take on our senpai.

Just an ordinary upperclassman: Daiki Tanaka (田中 大樹)

Although Taro Yamada is a perfectly valid Japanese name, it's literally the Japanese equivalent of John Doe. This name just gives me the impression that nothing really matters about him, and that it isn't even worth the effort thinking about a proper name. That might have been the dev's intention, given Taro's characterisation in the game, but I personally can't consider being so lazy about the second most important character. So, rather than keeping this name that makes Senpai seem like some background character, I chose names that actually are very common in Japan in order to keep the "average guy" feeling. The most common Japanese surname is Sato (佐藤), but that sounded a bit too generic for me, so I opted for Tanaka (田中), another widespread name that you might already have seen in some anime. Surprisingly, despite also being common, Yamada (山田) doesn't even come close. For his first name, "Daiki" (written like this: 大樹) means "big tree". It's a fairly popular boy name during the last decades and doesn't refer to anything particular, except maybe the fact that he is a big brother.
Just like many other mediocre harem MC, the main problem with Taro is that he is extremely bland. There's literally nothing worth noticing about him. Now don't get me wrong, making one of your main characters an Average Joe isn't a bad thing in itself, and I know that a yandere having a crush on ordinary people is nothing uncommon in modern Japanese media. However, even the most boringly average person that you can think of still has defined personality, goals, and passions that makes them at least more interesting than a slice of stale bread. In our case, you could replace Taro with a random object and the story would still make as much sense, which usually isn't a good sign for a story meant to have a serious tone. Just like my name choice suggested it, I wanted my version of Taro to stay ordinary. However, I tried to flesh out the little characterization he originally has to make him stand out in his own way, so that the numerous girls' interest in him would feel a bit less unbelievable.
This is Daiki Tanaka, a 17-years old Japanese boy living with his parents and his little sister. Like many other Japanese high-schoolers, he goes to high school from Monday to Friday, attends classes, studies for his tests, and hopes he will be accepted in a good university. And just like many other teenagers, he is is having interrogations about what he wants to do after graduation, how his classmates view him, and whether he'll find himself a girlfriend. Clearly, he's just an average student. Among the typical students you can find in a school, Daiki is a hard-working one. Pressured both by his parents and himself to get the best opportunities he can to settle his future, he is self-conscious about his academic performances and is always trying to improve his grades. Thus, he preferred to remain clubless and spend his free time alone to focus on his studies. Most of the time, he is seen studying at the school library, or reading a book of classic literature next to the fountain. But behind this ordinary reserved bookworm loner appearance is a kind and cultivated boy with a strong sense of justice and a clear passion for the old texts he's reading, making him actually quite a charming person to spend time with for those who can see past his plain exterior. Ayano, of course, is one of those few people, but little did she know that she won't be the only one interested in her dear senpai.

Gameplay role

According to the wiki:

Gameplay-wise, Taro is more similar to a "moving obstacle" rather than a regular interactive student, as he cannot be interacted with normally.

And you see, to me, that's a big problem. You spend the entire game keeping rivals away from Senpai by killing them, making them uninterested in him, or ruining their reputation, and after all the bad experiences he had with those (rather) normal girls, you expect me to believe that the girl Senpai, the perfectly normal guy at all levels, ends up choosing is the creepy lonely student that he has barely spoken to? Nah, I don't buy it. This is why, in my rewrite, my Senpai would be (most of the time) considered as a regular student that you can actually interact with. That means, first, that Ayano wouldn’t get immediately flustered by him when approaching him. I understand that people, especially teenagers, can act shy, nervous, or a little clumsy when their crush are at sight, but seriously, the depiction of this behaviour in the game is completely ridiculous. So, in my hypothetical game, you will have a small amount of time where you will be able to act normally near Daiki and talk to him before your heart starts beating louder and the screen gradually turns pink. Past this point, things pretty much happen the same as in the official game, since Ayano is emotionally unstable. Naturally, the more you interact with Daiki, the longer you will be able to remain calm in his presence.
Now that Senpai can be interacted with, it’s time to explore the potential of this addition by giving him another feature regular students have: tasks. Even if you can withstand his aura a bit better than in the official game, most of the conversations you’ll have with him won’t be long due to Ayano’s shyness. So, if you want to befriend Daiki, those little errands are the key to increase your affinity with him. For a more immersive narration, Daiki's tasks won't be your usual fetch quests that you can accept or refuse, but small talk where you must pay attention and figure out what to do to by yourself. The tasks will be at first very simple, like bringing him his schoolbag that he forgot in his classroom or gifting him the book he wanted to buy. Then, as he feels more comfortable around you, he will start talking a bit more openly about his life and his preoccupations, naturally leading to more complex tasks with more vague formulations and less obvious solutions, such as helping him become less invisible among his classmates. What would be the point of doing all that, will you ask? Having a higher affinity with Daiki will allow Ayano to make him follow her if you need to tactically move him for one of your eliminations. He will also be more likely to reject the rivals’ love confessions in case you don’t have the time to deal with them yourself. Moreover, narrative-wise, I think having the main character interact with their love interest would be a more realistic and healthier depiction of romance in the story. Well, as “healthy” as a yandere can be. But of course, you could also completely ignore this mechanic and focus on eliminating if you want to.
Finally, I would like to improve the reactions he has regarding students' disappearances. Despite all those things happening near him, he is shocked for a bit and then just kinda... accept it like nothing strange happened? The second most important character of the game, ladies and gentlemen. I get it, Senpai is a loner, he is passive, and he is dense. But at this point, that's not being passive anymore, that's being a wooden plank. So, this is my take: Daiki's sense of justice and passion for literature gave him a natural curiosity for crimes because of its depiction in novels. When facing murder, he will mostly act according to the loner archetype. However, if too many deaths or disappearances near him stay unresolved by the police and his sanity is high enough, he will find the courage to take a more active role and investigate on the crimes himself. Obviously, Daiki won't be able to arrest anyone by himself, but he has the advantage of being directly at the crime place and closer to the people at school than the police. Thus, he could report them additional details that they might have missed, like a student acting stranger than usual, missing tools or places cleaner than usual. This could put you in trouble unless you cover your tracks very well, or just prevent him from investigating. And of course, I would also implement Senpai's sanity meter that has been promised for I don't know how much time (but honestly, are you still hoping for it to be implemented after all that happened?), although slightly reworked. Daiki's sanity would decrease with any person dying. The closer the person is to him, both physically and figuratively, the lower it would drop. The deaths that would affect him the most would thus be those of his sister, his childhood friend, or anyone murdered right in front of him. On the opposite, a random student dying at the other side of the school would barely have any effect. A low sanity would have various effects on Daiki depending on its value and the amount of time he has spent with the other students. Those effects could be taking private lessons due to his grades dropping, joining a certain club to feel safer, or shutting himself in at home in one of the worst scenarios. In any case, this would affect his routine. Just like in the official concept, he would be able to recover sanity with a long enough crimeless period or giving him gifts. Only now would the rivals also be able to use the later method to gain affection, making them act a bit more like romantic rivals. I hope you don't mind actually caring about your senpai's mental health.

Relationships with other characters

The rivals
Obviously, a reworked senpai means reworked dynamics with your main targets. Since detailing everything would be way too long for a single post, I'll just link here my take on the romantic rivals that I decided to keep in my hypothetical game, and here, what I'd do with the discarded ones. Since they are Daiki's closest people, and the most likely to affect his mood in the game, I'll still put here what I have in mind for my version of Osana and Hanako.
His sister
Just like his canon counterpart, Daiki loves his sister very much. A feeling that is reciprocated a bit too much. Unlike her brother who has a balanced lifestyle, the middle-schooler is a very clingy girl who can't imagine being away from him. She has the bad habit of leaving her school during lunchtime just to visit him, which greatly embarrasses Daiki. Even if he appreciates the time they spend together in the end, he knows that this behaviour is unhealthy, and hope that, one day, his sister will find the confidence to become more independent. In my rewrite, the little sister isn't a romantic rival, but someone that I'd call a "big obstacle", as her role is mainly to appear at random (or maybe not, I haven't decided yet) days during lunchtime and potentially mess up your planification for the day. You wouldn't want to kill someone in front of your crush's beloved sister, right?
His childhood friend
Daiki and his sister have known their neighbours' daughter for more than a decade. All three of them used to play together during their childhood. The neighbours' daughter is a brash and impulsive girl, whose personality clashes with Daiki's quieter nature. Despite frequently being at odds and arguing about trivial things, both of them deeply care about each other and would be the first person to help the other if they were having problems. Daiki and his friend didn't have many occasions to see each other since elementary school, until the girl coincidentally transferred to the same high school as him. Even if he is now more serious and reserved than before, deep inside, he is still the same kind boy that she knew. Now that they can once again spend much time together, the girl has come to realize she was in love with her dear friend, but her internal turmoil and her personality make it difficult for her to act sincere and confess her feelings. She stays otherwise pretty similar to Osana, except for the greater consequences when dealing with her by using lethal eliminations, and maybe the fact that she won't be the first rival to appear.
Budo (or whatever name I'll end up giving him)
Yes, you read it right. That guy that overshadows Senpai among the fans is one of his friends in my rewrite. Because even the most introverted individuals are able to develop relationships with people that aren't potential romantic interests. The leader of the martial arts club is an outgoing action-oriented boy who is pretty popular at school. Unlike Daiki, Budo always knew in his heart that his place would be in a dojo, and thus doesn't have much interest in academics. But despite having such different backgrounds and personalities, both boys share the same sense of justice and admiration toward heroes. When he's not attending classes, studying or reading, Daiki hangs out with Budo, and is sometimes invited to watch the martial arts club members practicing. If too many dangerous events happen around Daiki, Budo, as an aspiring hero and good friend, will propose to escort him at certain periods, becoming basically a part-time bodyguard.
Ayano
Nothing much to say here. Daiki unknowingly reminded Ayano, who has locked her heart for years, how great it is to have feelings when they first met, and now she wants to make sure nothing stands between them. How she will reach her ends is your decision. If she decides to spend time with him and do his tasks, he will think of her as a peculiar, but well-intentioned girl. Just like in canon, Daiki is oblivious to Ayano's feelings, but it's more due to the fact that they barely know each other.

Trivia

• Regarding his career choice, Daiki is hesitating between becoming an author, a lawyer or a criminologist.
• Like Taro, he also likes nature and gardening, but to a lesser extend.
• Sometimes, instead of a book of classic literature, you can see him reading the latest crime novel at the fountain. With a pen and a writing pad, because he's just that invested.
• Since he is friend with Budo, he sometimes feels too plain and boring compared to him regarding romance. If you use matchmaking to eliminate a rival, his self-consciousness will grow a bit stronger.
• He has never bought a panty shot from Info-chan, but honestly, do you really find this surprising, or even relevant? He has never even contacted Info-chan.
• I had quite the choice among popular Japanese boy names. Daiki could've been named "Yamato", "Daisuke", "Hiroto", "Yuto", "Yuu", or even "Satoshi" instead.
• In the official game, if Ayano commits a crime in his sight while wearing a mask, Taro will rip the mask off her face with no regard for his safety or his character consistency. I would like to get rid of this behaviour for Daiki, except for one specific circumstance.

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And that was my full-fledged take on Taro. When you have an ordinary person as a character in the middle of very colourful ones, the key to make the public care about him is to give them tangible preoccupations that, even if they aren't always relatable, make this character at least feel like a real person with human struggles and dreams, and not just a barebone plot device. And that might seems obvious, but if you have to write a love interest, make sure you actually show your public what your main character likes about him. That's even more important in the case where many people are attracted to this character. I tried to take those two things into account when rewriting Taro, and I know it's far from perfect, so don't hesitate to tell me what I should improve. In any case, if you made it to the end, thank you for taking the time to read this long post. I hope I'll find the motivation to do the same with other characters.