I am glad I ran yesterday coming despite the rain. I was able to power through the gloomy weather and make the most of things.
It was a "clerical day" at school. Students were released early so teachers could catch up on their end of the year paperwork. The Jammy girls volunteered to stay late to help Mr. Maniotis close down the music rooms for the summer. Done! The only things left to pack now is the stuff we need for the band performance at graduation.
It also gave us the chance to spend some time with him. We protested again the unfairness and stupidity of the no all-girls Band policy. "You're New Yorkers, aren't you?" he said. "You can surely find a boy who will sit in with you guys and play marimbas or something for a period, then drop him and do your own thing."
Duh??? We all have boyfriends or boy friends in the band who owe us a favor or two. There's only a week left to school and we made a schedule so we could keep practicing.
Thank you, Mr. Maniotis. It's really important because the band has to keep going on while I am away for ths summer. We auditioned a couple of piano players from the school but it didn't quite feel right with any of them.
Meanwhile, I got a call from Cardi last night, and she is our heroine du jour! After school she traveled to the restaurant on her own and sat down with Anita, the booker there, to explain our situation over the summer. It seems that we have been drawing a new crowd of regulars who enjoy us and the restaurant would like to do what it can to help us.
"There's a very secure closet in the basement where you can safely store yourour equipment." Thank you! "Yes, you can rehearse here over the summer before the restaurant opens up." Thank you!! Finally, "Maura," her niece from Ohio, spends the summers with her. "She's your age, a very good pianist, and soul music runs in her blood. I think you should meet her." Thank you, Anita‼️‼️
Cardi said sure. Voila, there Maura was, working in the kitchen. They talked a lot and hit it off. Maura knew some of our covers and had no problems transposing to the keys we use for them. Cardi sang or played her flute to accompany. "She's our summer piano Jammy!" Cardi insisted.
We will come in early tomorrow to rehearse and Maura will be there. Let's see what happens!
Yesterday, June 6th, was the 153rd birthday of Tsunesaburo Makiguchi. The June 7th World Tribune just came out on PressReader and there was a wonderful essay (from 1998) by Ikeda Sensei. This is the paragraph has really made me think:

“Indomitable faith and unflagging courage give us the capacity to embrace others with limitless warmth and compassion. True kindness to others must always be backed by inner strength.”

Of course, I want our meeting with Maura to go well. I need to apply this paragraph to my life! How am I doing on that indomitable faith, unflagging courage, true kindness, and inner strength? Maybe I can get an overnight delivery of them on Amazon.
Leta and I just came back from our run and I will wash up and head off to school. School is over for her so she has the time to tell you about our meeting with Susan yesterday.
Coach and the girls are volunteering this weekend for a production of Rent done by a youth community theater group up in the Bronx. I got a couple of texts from my teammates that last night's production was unbelievable! Lita and I will usher tonight and we are very excited. I've watched a video production of the show on YouTube many, many times!

Hello everyone.
This is my first time posting on Reddit, particularly on an English-speaking subreddit.
So, how did I get here and what are the reasons that brought me here?
First I'll tell you the reasons that led me here. Me (24M) and my girlfriend (23F) have known each other since 2022. We met in the university studying the same career through a common friend, a few months after we met we started dating. The relationship was (and I want to believe that it can continue to be) wonderful, we were a couple in love, tender and shy, we went out on dates, we accompanied each other to our homes, we stayed up late chatting.
This went on until the beginning of the year, when we started having our first arguments as couples. The reasons for these arguments were sometimes because we went to play with friends online and forgot to answer messages or tell my girlfriend (which I admit is my fault), or a argue over something absurd (P.S., at that time we were long distance because she had to go away for summer break). These little fights we could get over by talking soon after they happened.
Over time, these fights became more frequent and more and more difficult to solve, sometimes for absurd reasons and sometimes for more serious reasons related to our absurd attitudes towards these problems. It was more and more difficult to talk about it, not for a reason that I didn't want to solve them and understand the things I did wrong. But every time I sent her a message apologizing (although sometimes I don't know why I did it, I think I just wanted our relationship to be good again) and it took longer and longer to receive an answer. In the beginning it was more than 6-8 hours, but now it can be days or weeks without a response or without knowing anything and it hurts me a lot not to receive a response or not to receive a message about whether she arrived home safely, but I think what hurts the most is to be ignored or treated with indifference at the university. Sometimes we are talking to colleagues about a project, but she doesn't look at me, doesn't talk to me or just responds with indifference.
I understand that it is important to give space, thinking about feelings is something necessary to heal and forgive each other. I respect it completely and I know that each person is different even though it hurts me (she already knows about this, we have talked about it when we reconciled in previous fights), but sometimes I have the feeling that she takes advantage of this to hurt me.
Why do I say she uses it to hurt me? In the previous paragraph I said why, but this is in a context where she has had bad treatment with me. Sometimes I would ask trivial questions about the weather or things that caught my attention or just aroused my curiosity and she would respond that it was a stupid question and that she didn't care. I found this strange, accepted it and moved on, but it had never happened to me before. The same thing happens to me when I say something about things I am passionate about or trivial things, to which she shows absolute disinterest or responds by saying “Are you done talking? because I don't care or I'm not interested” or “stop talking nonsense”, generating the same discomfort as with the questions.
We talked a few times about it and I told her that I don't like the way he treats me and that I feel slighted after it happens a few times, but she continues to do the same thing.
(P.S. It is controversial to say that she uses it to hurt me and I may be biasing those who read this, but make no mistake, I encourage you to criticize me and give me advice even if it hurts. I come here for advice on how I should navigate the situation.)
Now, how did I get here. Well, part of it is explained in the reasons, we have had some arguments and continue with these bad treatments towards me and I don't know what to do.
I want to continue the relationship because I love her and she is my first love. I really love her and I would like to live the rest of eternity with her, but it generates me a lot of anguish and pain to be with her, every time we fight happens what I tell you or when the relationship is good, she has these bad treatments towards me.
But every time these ups and downs become more and more difficult for me to overcome, I feel that a part of me is dying. In the last argument we had, something changed in how I feel about her and it scares me. I still love her and could never cheat on her with someone else, if anything I have been taught to be emotionally responsible and communicate. But recently, some people have approached me and said things to me that made me feel flattered and loved, something I don't feel from my partner lately. This is making me doubt my feelings for her. I really love her, with all my heart, but the praise, the affection from someone other than my partner is making me doubt and causing me pain.
This hurts a lot and I don't know what to do. Is love supposed to hurt or is it something to be enjoyed with joy? Is it a mixture of both? I have talked to friends and family about this, they tell me that I should value myself more and that I should stand up for myself.
Some have advised me to end the relationship because they say that it is not right how I am treated and that I should be treated better. I really don't want to do it, but I am starting to see how it impacts my life. The bonding with my family or my friends has gotten worse in a way, every time I want to go out to eat with them or play with my friends, we argue with my girlfriend about it and how she doesn't like it.
I have talked about how I feel and not about how my girlfriend feels. She tells me that she feels like she is being made a fool of in some situations, sometimes I forget some things she says to me or I don't listen to her when she talks. Which is sometimes true, sometimes I forget things or don't pay attention to what she says. But I try to make the effort to change that, I stop what I'm doing to listen to her and remember what she told me, to answer her or write it down somewhere. But every time I feel that no matter how much effort I make to correct the things I do, I will never become a perfect boyfriend for her.
I don't always forget things, but sometimes I like to pretend to forget in order to ask about good things that have happened to her or excite her to revive the joy or establish a conversation.
Anyway, I'd better finish this post. What is your advice, what do you think about the situation. What could I do about this situation and about my feelings. Should I continue with the relationship or should I leave it?
(Phew, that's a lot of text, sorry for writing so much)

Hi Everyone been going through some family issues for the past few years. I want to get your thoughts or advice on the situation. I am currently a 22F, newly engaged, a practical nurse and no kids moving down south in the next few months. A little background to make this make sense. Growing up i was kind of handed to different family members. For high school, my mom paid financially for me to stay at my grandmothers. My gmom took me in with 2 cousins she had custody of previously before me. In the house was also lots of uncles and aunts. I was always the favorite since birth TBH. My gmom has always bragged about me and always told me how proud she was of me. Until 18. When i was 18, COVID hit my senior year went to shit. No graduation no prom. I was supposed to go to college in georgia for nursing but covid got in the way. Financially they were asking for too much for me to not even be allowed on campus during the time. During my senior year, i started to get burnt out at my gmom house. I was helping raise children, paying for kid tuitions, being pulled on so many ways. It was honestly getting to the point where i would wake up and my days could never go to plan. Because i was so depended on it was always a favor from someone, i have always been “mature for my age”. So being a kid or teen wasn’t in lifestyle. But honestly the burden got to be too much, i couldn’t catch a break. So during the summer after graduating i met my fiancé who is a year older than me. Meeting him was a breath of fresh air. Never wanted anything just was my peace. Idk how he made me forget about all the the bs at home when i was with him. Shortly after we moved in together. I went to a accelerated nursing program and my gmom was pissed. My fiancé was and still is working a good job. He doesn’t have a degree but works hard and gets paid well. At this point , my gmom is pissed. She didnt like my bf felt like he “changed “ me. Didnt feel like he was good enough for me. During nursing school i had no support only my fiance. Any time i spoke about school my gmom made it clear that wasnt what she wanted in life for me. I needed a BSN after school in her eyes. She was being so negative and hurtful i had to distance myself for my mental health. She would literally text me all the time and tell me im not grown. I shouldn’t be making these type if decisions. Then on top of that she would gossip to my other family in the house. And they would just kiss her ass and talk shit about me and my relationship. And thats when i noticed when i stopped doing favors for people thats when i get talked about. I would literally cry because she was so disappointed in me which was never before in life. This where i experienced anxiety for the first time in my life. Fast forward to 20 , im still living with fiancé. Not asking for help or support since the age of 18. Paying my own bills. Own car and own house. I graduated nursing school at 20. Traveling and honestly happy in life. I distanced myself from gmom just checking in on text. Of course shes mad sending me paragraphs and keeps pushing college in my face. But i wouldn’t share anything about my life with her. As far as my other family. A lot of fake stuff. They would be trying to call me but my Kid cousin who lived at my gmom house told me the negative conversations being had about me. From 20-21, i would talk to my gmom here or there. Take her out to eat for her birthday. But every time i spoke to her she would brag about my peers. How they are doing in college and saying things like that should’ve been you. Didn’t congratulate me for becoming a nurse or nothing. Still didn’t approve of my Fiance who was boyfriend at the time. Then on top of that, shes asking me for money. Asking for me to sign for cars/houses. I told her how she makes me feel. And basically we got into a huge argument. My feelings never got acknowledge. Because she helped raised me and basically i shouldn’t feel how i do. Distanced myself even more was barely texting her except on holidays. Now i am 22. After texting her on mothers day she asked me to call her. I called her thinking they we could rekindle. And maybe my feelings could be acknowledged. As soon as we get on the phone. She brings up college telling me my nursing license is no good without a bsn. Telling me how my peers have graduated doing well in life. Then my younger cousin is going to college and how i should join her. I told her that i was engaged. She didnt even say congratulations then proceed to call him my bf the whole entire time. I told her i was moving in a new townhouse down south. She started questioning why i didnt want to move to Georgia so i could look back into school. Everything about my life was negative to her. I got off the phone call hurt i actually thought we could get somewhere. I realized me and her are never gonna see eye to eye unless i got my bsn. she will never be proud of me. Talking to her is a dead end. Im at the point where every time i talk to her my feelings get hurt. My family on her side just piggybacks off everything she says. Its like my feelings dont even matter. Im thinking just moving and cutting off all contact. Any advice on how to go about this?

I’m not asking anyone to validate my feelings, just pissed right now.
So last week a friend and I, let’s call her Jessica, were out drinking. She was telling all these stories about friends she had had that called the police to look for her, made posts about how they thought she died, etc. We thought it would be funny if I made a badly photoshopped picture with wings on her and post it on my story. Obviously it didn’t go well, I didn’t keep it up for long but I got a few messages from people, one of them being her long time friend Jake.
I asked Jessica MULTIPLE times if I should tell Jake it was a joke and she said no, at one point even taking the phone from me to text him. Keep in mind everything that was done/said was done with her explicit permission. Even though when people confronted her about it she blamed the ENTIRE thing on me and I didn’t say anything, because at the end of the day it wouldn’t have really fixed much. Jake eventually finds out we weren’t serious, sends me an angry paragraph about how I’m a shitty friend to wish something like that on Jessica, and I get fed up and ask Jessica if I could just tell Jake what actually happened. She agrees and I tell him, needless to say, he was understandably still pissed.
Later that night she texts me saying her and Jake got into this huge argument and he doesn’t want to be friends with her anymore because I “blamed her for the whole thing”. Again, she knew exactly what I told him, I even sent her a screenshot so she knew I wasn’t lying. She tells me to fuck off and ignores me for days. Now, I don’t know what’s going on but I see her spending time with some of our other mutual friends, and she’s also actively ignoring anything I type in group chats with them and talking to everyone but me.
I sent her a text essentially telling her that I don’t get why she’s upset with me, since we both screwed up together. It’s not as if she had little to no part in this. She gets mad at me and tells me I don’t know what’s going on in her life and I need to leave her alone, so I just didn’t respond and moved on. She texts me again telling me she wanted space from me and a bunch of other stuff, I told her there’s ways to go about getting your space and telling your long time friend of 10 years to fuck off and ignoring her for days isn’t one of them, and that if she doesn’t want to be friends anymore then just say that.
She says fine end of friendship then, goodnight. And honestly, I’m more upset than sad over this friendship. Yes she’s been a close friend for years but she hasn’t been a good one. We stopped talking for 6 months because her toxic narcissist of an ex boyfriend didn’t like me and I also got mad at her for kicking one of our good friends out on the street in the middle of the night.
I think I’m relieved it’s over, I’m just furious that someone could behave in such a childish and disrespectful way to someone repeatedly without an apology or any acknowledgement of their own behavior.

Hi Everyone been going through some family issues for the past few years. I want to get your thoughts or advice on the situation. I am currently a 22F, newly engaged, a practical nurse and no kids moving down south in the next few months. A little background to make this make sense. Growing up i was kind of handed to different family members. For high school, my mom paid financially for me to stay at my grandmothers. My gmom took me in with 2 cousins she had custody of previously before me. In the house was also lots of uncles and aunts. I was always the favorite since birth TBH. My gmom has always bragged about me and always told me how proud she was of me. Until 18. When i was 18, COVID hit my senior year went to shit. No graduation no prom. I was supposed to go to college in georgia for nursing but covid got in the way. Financially they were asking for too much for me to not even be allowed on campus during the time. During my senior year, i started to get burnt out at my gmom house. I was helping raise children, paying for kid tuitions, being pulled on so many ways. It was honestly getting to the point where i would wake up and my days could never go to plan. Because i was so depended on it was always a favor from someone, i have always been “mature for my age”. So being a kid or teen wasn’t in lifestyle. But honestly the burden got to be too much, i couldn’t catch a break. So during the summer after graduating i met my fiancé who is a year older than me. Meeting him was a breath of fresh air. Never wanted anything just was my peace. Idk how he made me forget about all the the bs at home when i was with him. Shortly after we moved in together. I went to a accelerated nursing program and my gmom was pissed. My fiancé was and still is working a good job. He doesn’t have a degree but works hard and gets paid well. At this point , my gmom is pissed. She didnt like my bf felt like he “changed “ me. Didnt feel like he was good enough for me. During nursing school i had no support only my fiance. Any time i spoke about school my gmom made it clear that wasnt what she wanted in life for me. I needed a BSN after school in her eyes. She was being so negative and hurtful i had to distance myself for my mental health. She would literally text me all the time and tell me im not grown. I shouldn’t be making these type if decisions. Then on top of that she would gossip to my other family in the house. And they would just kiss her ass and talk shit about me and my relationship. And thats when i noticed when i stopped doing favors for people thats when i get talked about. I would literally cry because she was so disappointed in me which was never before in life. This where i experienced anxiety for the first time in my life. Fast forward to 20 , im still living with fiancé. Not asking for help or support since the age of 18. Paying my own bills. Own car and own house. I graduated nursing school at 20. Traveling and honestly happy in life. I distanced myself from gmom just checking in on text. Of course shes mad sending me paragraphs and keeps pushing college in my face. But i wouldn’t share anything about my life with her. As far as my other family. A lot of fake stuff. They would be trying to call me but my Kid cousin who lived at my gmom house told me the negative conversations being had about me. From 20-21, i would talk to my gmom here or there. Take her out to eat for her birthday. But every time i spoke to her she would brag about my peers. How they are doing in college and saying things like that should’ve been you. Didn’t congratulate me for becoming a nurse or nothing. Still didn’t approve of my Fiance who was boyfriend at the time. Then on top of that, shes asking me for money. Asking for me to sign for cars/houses. I told her how she makes me feel. And basically we got into a huge argument. My feelings never got acknowledge. Because she helped raised me and basically i shouldn’t feel how i do. Distanced myself even more was barely texting her except on holidays. Now i am 22. After texting her on mothers day she asked me to call her. I called her thinking they we could rekindle. And maybe my feelings could be acknowledged. As soon as we get on the phone. She brings up college telling me my nursing license is no good without a bsn. Telling me how my peers have graduated doing well in life. Then my younger cousin is going to college and how i should join her. I told her that i was engaged. She didnt even say congratulations then proceed to call him my bf the whole entire time. I told her i was moving in a new townhouse down south. She started questioning why i didnt want to move to Georgia so i could look back into school. Everything about my life was negative to her. I got off the phone call hurt i actually thought we could get somewhere. I realized me and her are never gonna see eye to eye unless i got my bsn. she will never be proud of me. Talking to her is a dead end. Im at the point where every time i talk to her my feelings get hurt. My family on her side just piggybacks off everything she says. Its like my feelings dont even matter. Im thinking just moving and cutting off all contact. Any advice on how to go about this?

Bangled, Tangled, Spangled, and Spaghettied
The “hairy summer” might come out as a one-off. I’ll write a trailer, and you guys tell me if it’s worth posting the short story!
From the weirdo who brought you Funky P. Beard and Married Mary... comes the story of a summer musical brimming with soulful singing, delightful dancing, and horrifying heaps of human garbage. Get bangled. Get tangled. Get spangled. And get spaghettited.... Cringey Val (and maybe ReddX Industries???) presents... A Hairy Summer and a Pearl Jam Cocktail!
Okay, here are the highlights: Scumbanger did something so vile and inappropriate, I’m not sure I can put it in writing without getting sued by an advocacy organization. Then there was this bossy cast member who stank so badly, the guys had to use the girls’ dressing room just so they could breathe without barfing. This pong monster was a tall, glamorous, genuinely talented drag queen named Thomas. He was American, but his name was pronounced, “Toh-MAH.” To this day, he remains the only gay guy I’ve ever known who had a hygiene problem.
And then there was the “historical consultant” who was supposed to be an expert on 1960s counterculture. This bozo couldn’t have possibly been much older than 40, so his claims of having "lived through the late 60s" just meant that he was a wee one at most during that era. He dyed his hair gray (this was obvious because he had brown roots), he dressed like Lewis Skolnick from Revenge of the Nerds, he was obsessed with Richard Nixon (even though he should have been talking about LBJ), and he openly hated everything about modern pop culture. Imagine a non-wholesome, Nixon-obsessed Norman.
And he loved younger women who enjoyed modern pop culture, yet he made it his mission in life to capture us and teach us the error of our ways. Don't get me wrong. I absolutely adore music, movies, novels, fashion... all sorts of things that were before my time. But I also enjoy generationally-appropriate pop culture. Video games. Shows like It's Always Sunny. Modern musicals like... (horrified gasp!) Hamilton. That doesn't make me a shallow moron, NORMAN. And I'm not going near the "mini museum" in your basement, ya creep. Nasty Norman finally got fired for sending Dionne a sausage selfie (she said he even dyed his pubes gray).
And then there was Mary’s inappropriate (and illegal) behavior when she came to see the show. Big titty privilege kept her out of jail, but she enjoyed running around making up stories about having done hard time and having swapped snail trails with her celly. She continued to write love letters to her "prison wife" long after she was released. That was probably a healthier marriage than her real one, to be honest. And remember, Mary never got arrested at all. The prison wife did not exist.
And because I began writing this section with the intention of connecting Married Mary to Funky P., please allow me to spit out an observation. Funky, according to the tales I heard from the remaining chummers in the Shadowrun crew, was indeed a tall, bearded bump on a log who basically just did Mori’s bidding and engaged in excessive grumbling over trivial matters (namely, the attractiveness of other men) during the formative years of the gaming sessions. He only occasionally lost his temper. But he seemed to become considerably more aggressive around the time of his dalliance with Mary. WHY?
While Funky never spoke of his feelings regarding Mary’s ensnarement of his tantalizing tally-whacker, I suspect that he felt somewhat emasculated by her ability to exert control over him. Mary was indeed a ferocious force when she wanted something. And she always wanted something. But I also think that Funky was taking notes while she was bossing him around. The pitiful crying. The yelling. The tantrums. The constant scrutiny and the keeping of tabs, which was (in my mind) the male equivalent of Mary’s insane clinginess. I think he picked up a fair amount of manipulation tactics from her and then managed to improve on them.
Did Mary “create” Funky? I don’t think so. I think Funky was fucked up long before Mary started grinding on him at The Imp. But I think she facilitated certain elements of the goblinization, namely the manipulation. She served as both baggage and inspiration. Dennis might have done something similar for me. Of course, he was baggage. But his inconsistent attention, instead of making me more considerate of the other’s person’s time and feelings, made me more inclined to be distant. To this day, I catch myself pulling away when I realize I’ve caught feelings for someone. I can usually override that tendency and communicate like a fucking adult. But the instinct to go radio silent as soon as feelings emerge got its hooks in deep. I am not proud of this. And I'll continue to work on it.
So when I began to think of pre-Funky Whisky as a legitimately dateable dude, I pulled away. Remember that I was fresh out of the Dennis Debacle at that point. But when I pulled away, I think that thrilled pre-Funky Whisky. I wasn’t blowing up his phone. I wasn’t camping out on his doorstep. I wasn’t whining for his attention. So our respective pseudo-exes fucked us up in a way that made us initially compatible. Do I blame them? Fuck yes! Dennis was a piece of shit and Mary was bat-shit crazy!
Do I honestly blame them? Not really. The whole mess was a runny, undercooked casserole of bad experiences serving as the ingredients for even worse experiences... and bad decisions getting smothered in the gritty goo of truly atrocious decisions. So let’s see what happened when summer ended and Mary decided to pick on Funky one more time!
Things had begun to simmer down, but Mary just had to stir up some drama by making Funky a pearl jam cocktail at Filthy McNasty's. He ran crying to me over this heinous slight, even though this all happened during our one and only bona fide break. And he lured me back into his life with feigned emotional distress, assuring me that he just needed a friend. Nasty Norman had turned his creepy "old guy wanna-be" energy towards me after the show closed, and Funky offered to pose as my boyfriend a few times in an effort to discourage Norman. Somewhere along the line, it ceased to be an act. I'll give Funky this. He knew how to use creeps and flakes to prop himself up. I'm embarrassed that it worked on me. My current solution is to stay far, far away from the creeps and the flakes. So there's not even an opportunity for a gallant Nice Guy TM to offer his "services." Double WIN!!!
But once things began to feel dangerous with Funky, what could I have done differently? I've spent a great deal of time asking myself this. I recently heard a mental health TikTokker from The Manosphere rant about how humans always have agency, even in the most seemingly hopeless situations. Did I lose my agency with Funky? Certainly not. But my agency became impotent with Funky (just like his own precious peen). My words fell on deaf ears. He assigned nefarious intentions to even the most innocuous actions. "Why are you making coffee? Are you imagining some time when you had coffee with one of your pretty boy douchebag exes????" No, dude. Just wanted a cup of coffee. "BULLSHIT!" And then a screaming match would ensue.
In retrospect, I could have definitely gone to Mad Mox for help. I could have gone to the university and asked them to place another call to social services. I could have gone to one of my professors and asked them to put me in touch with someone who specialized in helping people out of coercive control situations. But even though we had studied coercive control in one of my classes, I wouldn't admit that Funky was doing that shit to me until I looked back on the relationship with nothing to prove to myself.
The truth was that I was humiliated to have been in that kind of situation. Since I was a psych grad student, I felt like I should have known better. That's why I get so bristly when people leave comments that call my intelligence and my credentials into question, haughtily stating that I should have known better. I know they probably think they're making an astute observation or calling me out on some bullshit. Try taking a beat and just do a cursory google search next time you feel the need to make such a comment.
You'll quickly see that it's not at all uncommon for individuals in every corner of the mental health profession to have been victims of some sort of maltreatment. Yes, even AFTER having completed grad school, an internship, a fellowship, med school, or even decades of practice. If I hadn't been so ashamed, I would have reached out for help as soon as the mask slipped. And when I finally got away, I had to work through the shame over letting it go on for as long as it did, the shame over not reaching out when I could have, and the shame over getting trapped in an unhealthy relationship in the first place. I thought I had made my peace and I felt confident that I had overcome the shame.
And then I posted these stories on the internet. Dude... I have struggled emotionally with the shaming and blaming that appears in every single comments section I've dared to peruse throughout the airings of these stories. And if you've reached out to me and made it right, it's ancient history. But I can count on one hand... One FINGER the number of people who've done that. So, yeah. A bunch of you are dirtbags. Just say you don't like my writing or you don't vibe with me if you HAVE TO pop off. As I've said many times, I deserved to get dumped. I didn't deserve to get terrorized.
And the aforementioned blaming and shaming is a broader problem that I'm really not equipped to tackle alone. What I mean is that it goes far beyond my own personal butt-hurt. It's an egregious thing to say to anyone who's been mistreated. But I don't know if there's an answer to the problem since the people who blame and shame will die on the hill of, "I'M HELPING." You're not. You're harming more than you could possibly imagine. But I don't know what it would take to make any of you understand the degree to which such nonsense is detrimental.
Okay, what was that? My third dash of salt? I really am done now. And I'm pretty sure there's still plenty of salt left over for The Hot Dog Man! Let's get back on track! Coulda, shoulda, woulda. Hindsight's 20/20. I learned a hard lesson. And, for better or worse, I decided to share it. Warts and all. Not genital warts... I just mean I tried really hard to own it where I fucked up.
Let’s lighten the mood and catch up with the beardos and weirdos!
WHERE ARE THEY NOW???
I’ll kick things off with some dirt on D.E.N.N.I.S. I hadn’t thought about him in years. We had remained Facebook friends, but we’d never had any meaningful exchanges. And then one day, out of nowhere, I got a very long DM from him. He apologized profusely for his behavior in grad school, admitted that he knew he’d broken my heart, and he insisted that we should meet for drinks when he was back in California on business. Drinks? I thought Dennis didn't drink... Maybe that accidental shot to tequila steered him away from the LAWD and down the sinful path of the bottle! then again, when was Dennis EVER honest (with me or with himself)? Never.
I should probably mention that Funky had hacked into my laptop, copied my diary, and posted it online in its entirety while we were dating. So Dennis had gotten to read my terrible Carrie Bradshaw impression in which he was the Mr. Big character. “I could help but wonder... How could a grown man, a grown who loved to study human behavior, fail to muster the courage to meet the eyes that had looked upon his naked body the night before.” Ugh...
When I arrived, with some trepidation, at the hotel bar... I couldn’t spot The Golden God. And then a man in a snazzy suit with a mighty beer gut and an unflattering goatee tripped my fusiform face area. Being a bit of a "short king," his frame didn't exactly allow him to rock the beer gut. So apparently it was the beer can, not the tequila bottle that had corrupted douchey, duplicitous, oh so dashing, butt-blasting Dennis.
Despite the booming beer gut and hideous facial fuzz, Dennis put on a cocksure and flirtatious air straight away and was shocked when I wasn’t receptive. Looks like the D.E.N.N.I.S. system won’t work forever. And it wasn’t the weight and the awful goatee that made the thought of bedding The Menace uninteresting. It was the fact that I had bedded Axton. That was one of those “unicorn situations” where the reality exceeded the expectation to an extent that I feel slightly uncomfortable describing... There was no way in hell Dennis could compare. Axton, at his most basic, could fuck circles around Dennis at his peak.
The Menace nevertheless started spamming me with long, inappropriate, saccharine text messages. No sausage selfies, fortunately. Just half-hearted apologies, vague declarations of love, and then paragraphs upon paragraphs of cringe-worthy erotica that seemed to have been copy/pasted from an old fanfic forum full of filthy-minded freaks. No one could ever build palaces out of those paragraphs, let alone cathedrals. Burn, bitch. How the mighty fall.
Now let’s move on to Moe. Funky’s tasteless smear campaign had absolutely no effect on Moe’s ways, for the record. Another altruism fail for Funky. The last time I bumped into Moe, he was throwing a temper tantrum because an extremely inebriated, much younger woman had called her girlfriend to pick her up instead of getting into the car with him. He was wearing baggy jeans, a Vulcan Science Academy hockey jersey, some bizarre medallion, ridiculous kicks, fake freckles (most of which got lost in his wrinkles), and a sideways baseball cap. And he had made a miserable attempt to paint his fingernails. I think he currently has a livestream where he talks about Tarot Cards and love spells. And he apparently pays escorts to appear on these streams. To my knowledge, Moe has never actually harmed anyone, but all signs point to him continuing to be a creepazoid.
And now for some good news! Mary is a normal human being now!!! She spent at least a year in a mental health facility where she was obviously an active participant in her own recovery because the treatment seemed to do a world of good. I’m not super close to her anymore, but she was well-mannered and pleasant last time I saw her. I honestly had a good time catching up with her. She’s lost a bunch of weight and is now as gorgeous as she believed herself to be during the events of the story.
But I don’t want to put too much emphasis on the weight. She was obnoxious during the Married Mary saga, primarily because of her behavior. And even though it can come off as cringey, I have some degree of admiration for women who can strut their stuff no matter their size. If I get so much as some mild monthly bloating, you can bet I’ll be wearing oversized sweatshirts. Anyway, Married Mary is RE-Married Mary, and she seems genuinely smitten with her new hubby. So let’s all give her a big round of applause for doing the work and embracing personal growth. Way to go, girl!!! But please stop talking about your golden shower from The Golden God. You're more than a big-tittied urinal cake. Plus... It's gross.
As for Funky? His ass was in jail. Excuse me. PRISON. It’s difficult to explain what landed him there because mentions of the specific crime that he committed are frowned upon under any and all circumstances. So I’ll be vague. A few years after I escaped, he sloppily photoshopped some poor dude’s face onto some... truly vile images in an unsuccessful effort to frame the poor dude. And he posted these images all over social media, so he got busted for distributing... that.
For whatever reason, he didn’t stay in prison for very long, and he’s once again a free beard. I have no contact with him, I have no desire to know more about his current situation, and I don’t even think I’d recognize him if I saw him since he probably had to shave in prison. But for the sake of those close to him, I do hope that he finds a way to explore the roots of his rage. I’m just not sure what it would take to convince him to consider the possibility that his various vicious attacks are not, in fact, acts of altruism.
And now feels like a good time to reveal the single most shocking truth about Funky... He was well-endowed. Why was he so insecure about the size of his member??? Maybe because its largeness made the whisky willy worse since there was more surface area for the reduced blood flow to (quite literally) “let down.” Maybe he watched too much hentai and felt itty-bitty in comparison to cartoon dongs. Maybe he’s just a generally insecure person. I have no idea. But it’s weird, right? He positively oozed small pee-pee energy.
Mori, according to reliable sources, is now running a small sex cult... Excuse me. A “kink retreat” in Hawaii. I never got to know Mori well enough to attempt a deep dive into his psyche. Weird and power-hungry as he appeared, he never struck me as cruel. But it seems that his monkeyshines were exceptionally off-putting to some people, and I do apologize if I crossed a line by writing about the staff shenanigans. I wasn't personally bothered by it; but as I've said many times, I've apparently encountered more nasty situations than the average person, so my gross-o-meter needs some recalibrating.
And as a person who, believe it or not, takes writing seriously, I’ll certainly take the negative responses into account if I ever decided to try to spin this story into something resembling a book. Mori played an integral role in my escape by putting Funky in his place just enough to give me the upper hand for a moment, so I feel horrible for accidentally writing him as nothing but a loathsome perv. I mean, he *was* weird as hell, but he was also nuanced. I think I failed at getting that across. Then again, I feel like some people really enjoyed Mori. I suppose it's fun to have a divisive character in your story! So I'll have some pros and cons to weigh.
But let’s move on to the guy who got a universally good reaction!!! Snorlax married a girl named Eevee and I still see them fairly regularly to play non-degenerate games of Shadowrun at the vintage gaming shop that Sage and Athena intend to take over when the current owner retires. Oh, and Snorlax’s physical therapy eventually got him back in the ring, and he’s a mound of pure, intimidating muscle again. Still smokes the devil’s lettuce, but in moderation. Sage and Athena got married a few years after the events of the story and they have two adorable kiddos. Axton remains one of my dearest friends in the world even though we never really became a couple.
I was worried that people would be annoyed with me for including a romantic subplot in the Funky P. story. And then I was worried that people would be mad because Axton and I didn’t get married and have babies. But I think I was once again worried about imaginary critics. I’ll reiterate what I said in the afterward of Funky P. Beard: I’m genuinely happy being single. Some of us are just wired that way. I love Axton to the moon and back, but I don’t think I would love him so much if we’d tried to force a labeled relationship that wasn’t happening naturally.
Let’s move on to the non-beardy people from the Married Mary saga! They’ve been through some rough stuff that’s really not my place to share. But they’ve all landed on their feet! I’m currently gathering my costume for Lucy’s daughter’s birthday party. Yes, I still do the party princess thing. I doubt I’ll ever stop donning costumes for kids’ parties, even if I eventually have to switch to dressing up as Disney villains when I get too old to pass for a princess. Is there an opportunity for some social commentary about ageism? Yeah. Probably. Go nuts in the comments!
And thank you so, so much for reading! I know I’ve said it before, but I don’t have the words to express how much it means to me when anyone is able to power through tales of my bizarre experiences, even if those experiences aren’t relatable. If you made it, I have endless admiration for your patience. Extra special thanks to ReddX for lending his voice and his hysterically funny and insightful commentary to these stories!!! Without the videos, Funky P. Beard and Married Mary would just be a bunch of impotent words disintegrating in the dumpsters of publishing houses, or bleakly existing in the void of an unvisited blog. To ReddX and the entire ReddX gang, you guys are LEGENDS for breathing life into these stories.
As for me, I’m certainly no legend. But I am a functional, content human being with a fabulous family and plenty of friends who love and accept me despite my past foolishness. My life is far from perfect, but I’m still perky and free-spirited. Funky didn’t take that away. And for whatever it’s worth, I never got duped by another neckbeard following the Funky farce, although quite a few tried. I’m a little weird. I'm not particularly bothered by weirdness in others. And that sometimes makes me beard bait. I know that. So whenever I clock a warning sign of beardery, I slowly back away from the impending drama, smoke a bowl, and laugh it off... so to speak. I’m just saying I try to be more like Snorlax.
And the time has come for me to slowly back away from this story. It’s been both a labor of love and a healing exercise to write this, but it might have felt like a chore to read it or listen to it. If so, I deeply regret that. I tried to make this an entertaining ride, but I can certainly understand why it might not be universally relatable. And I probably could have done a better job of explaining what made me feel trapped in the relationship with Funky if I had been willing to take a big, steamy trauma dump on the internet. But I’m hoping this installment was more of a trauma shart. So now... I wipe away the skid-marks, flush the remnants of Funky down the toilet and simply light a match. No need to spray an entire can of Axe.

Ok so I '19F' been dating this guy '21M' for almost 3 years and this is my first relationship. I don’t know what else to compare it to or just in general how it should work when it comes to bringing up issues we have, most times when I bring up big issues it’s on text because I feel uncomfortable bringing up problems because it usually doesn’t go well. When I bring it up on texts some times I feel like he handles it kind of defensively, I choose my word very carefully and sometimes I feel like I can’t say everything cuz I know he won’t like it, I’m not trying to attack him but when he reacts like that I can’t help but feel like I’ve said something I shouldn’t have, but sometimes I need to say something even if it’s not the softest, Sometimes he’ll ghost me for hours and I’ll see him online playing games and I’ll see him messaging in the server but not reply to me, I understand that maybe he needs a while to think or do whatever but is seven hours too much time to wait for a response? Sometimes when he replies he just says “your stressing me out “ and I don’t bring it up again, or he’ll say something that sounds like he’s blaming me like saying “ why did you say that” and I’ll apologize and not bring it up again as well. ?
This goes off topic; so sometimes he tries to tell me things by dancing around what he’s trying to tell me you know like when your in a situation with a third party and you try to secretly tell your partner that it’s time to leave, that kind of thing, but I don’t know if it’s just that I can’t understand his signals because I have a problem with communicating and I just have issues or if he’s just bad at giving hints but he told me one time because I couldn’t understand that, “ I just want you to be able to understand when I’m trying to tell you something “ but I’m trying and I’m sorry that I’m disappointing you.
Whenever he tells me something that he doesn’t like I just can’t help but cry sometimes (almost all the time) because I just feel guilty that I did something wrong and that I let him down or upset him or hurt him, I don’t know how to show that I care otherwise because any other reaction just feels fake and I don’t know how to show him I understand otherwise, He said once that he feels like he can never tell me if something is wrong cuz I always cry so I told him it’s because I’m just disappointed in myself so I’ve been trying not to cry all the time.
So this is what happened the other day we were playing video games with two of our friends and he was talking to his friend asking to play specific characters to do combo moves together and when he gets kills with his ult he tells him he’s doing good yada yada but I realize he doesn’t say I do well but he says it to his other friends and does more incisive things like that with them and in real life when we all hang out, he asks his friends to go do something with him when we’re all together but he doesn’t ask me, I was his Friend before his girlfriend but now I don’t feel like I’m his friend, I mean I think it would make more sense if the reason was because we hang out a lot just us two but we really don’t, we work together almost every day, we drive around town in the same car and take care of multiple offices a week so it’s just us two, but we went really hanging out, were working and have our own duties so we don’t really see each other. We haven’t gone on a date in weeks and rarely hang out in person. The other day I went to pick him up for work and I told him I was coming and when I got there I saw he was still playing games on vc so I texted and asked if I could knock on the door to come inside, and this is my fault but I didn’t wait for his response because I thought he was too busy to see it so I went and knocked on the door, he opened the door and got mad at me because he told me not to on the text and asked why i even wanted to come inside and that kind of hurt my feelings, I wanted to spend a little time with him before work sense he was still in a game. Anyway sorry for my disorganization with this post, so back to the top of this paragraph, I texted him and this is how the conversation went
Me- bb I feel left out Him- well you wanted to get off ( I got off the game cuz I was feeling sad after realizing how I’m treated differently and the last game we played he was mad cuz of how it was going) Me- not just cuz of that Him- what happened Me- when we play just u and me you don't ask to do fun stuff like try moves and stuff i feel like, u do with ( person A ) and (person B) tho, it kinda didnt feel like i was your friend too idk, and that last ovw game was giving me a negative feeling so thats why i got off
( i replied to “ well you wanted to get off”) Me- that sounds realy aggresive, like its my fault, u just assumed thats what it was i feel like before your first response would have been " what happened" but now its not anymore
Then he replied to me literally 7 hours later and said Him-why did u make that situation up just can't function here
Then I said I was sorry and not to worry about it and it was my fault, then he said “ it feels like your not expressing your feelings” and I replied to him and said that when I did you ghosted me for 7 hours but I said I knew it’s cuz he needed time.
Thank you to anyone that reads this, please I need some insight, i don’t know I might just be too needy and greedy and I’m just the one making things difficult, please tell me what I should do?
———— TL;DR I’m upset with how my boyfriend reacts when I tell him issues I’m having and how I’m not treated the same has his other friends despite me also being his friend

Ok so I '19F' been dating this guy '21M' for almost 3 years and this is my first relationship. I don’t know what else to compare it to or just in general how it should work when it comes to bringing up issues we have, most times when I bring up big issues it’s on text because I feel uncomfortable bringing up problems because it usually doesn’t go well. When I bring it up on texts some times I feel like he handles it kind of defensively, I choose my word very carefully and sometimes I feel like I can’t say everything cuz I know he won’t like it, I’m not trying to attack him but when he reacts like that I can’t help but feel like I’ve said something I shouldn’t have, but sometimes I need to say something even if it’s not the softest, Sometimes he’ll ghost me for hours and I’ll see him online playing games and I’ll see him messaging in the server but not reply to me, I understand that maybe he needs a while to think or do whatever but is seven hours too much time to wait for a response? Sometimes when he replies he just says “your stressing me out “ and I don’t bring it up again, or he’ll say something that sounds like he’s blaming me like saying “ why did you say that” and I’ll apologize and not bring it up again as well. ?
This goes off topic; so sometimes he tries to tell me things by dancing around what he’s trying to tell me you know like when your in a situation with a third party and you try to secretly tell your partner that it’s time to leave, that kind of thing, but I don’t know if it’s just that I can’t understand his signals because I have a problem with communicating and I just have issues or if he’s just bad at giving hints but he told me one time because I couldn’t understand that, “ I just want you to be able to understand when I’m trying to tell you something “ but I’m trying and I’m sorry that I’m disappointing you.
Whenever he tells me something that he doesn’t like I just can’t help but cry sometimes (almost all the time) because I just feel guilty that I did something wrong and that I let him down or upset him or hurt him, I don’t know how to show that I care otherwise because any other reaction just feels fake and I don’t know how to show him I understand otherwise, He said once that he feels like he can never tell me if something is wrong cuz I always cry so I told him it’s because I’m just disappointed in myself so I’ve been trying not to cry all the time.
So this is what happened the other day we were playing video games with two of our friends and he was talking to his friend asking to play specific characters to do combo moves together and when he gets kills with his ult he tells him he’s doing good yada yada but I realize he doesn’t say I do well but he says it to his other friends and does more incisive things like that with them and in real life when we all hang out, he asks his friends to go do something with him when we’re all together but he doesn’t ask me, I was his Friend before his girlfriend but now I don’t feel like I’m his friend, I mean I think it would make more sense if the reason was because we hang out a lot just us two but we really don’t, we work together almost every day, we drive around town in the same car and take care of multiple offices a week so it’s just us two, but we went really hanging out, were working and have our own duties so we don’t really see each other. We haven’t gone on a date in weeks and rarely hang out in person. The other day I went to pick him up for work and I told him I was coming and when I got there I saw he was still playing games on vc so I texted and asked if I could knock on the door to come inside, and this is my fault but I didn’t wait for his response because I thought he was too busy to see it so I went and knocked on the door, he opened the door and got mad at me because he told me not to on the text and asked why i even wanted to come inside and that kind of hurt my feelings, I wanted to spend a little time with him before work sense he was still in a game. Anyway sorry for my disorganization with this post, so back to the top of this paragraph, I texted him and this is how the conversation went
Me- bb I feel left out Him- well you wanted to get off ( I got off the game cuz I was feeling sad after realizing how I’m treated differently and the last game we played he was mad cuz of how it was going) Me- not just cuz of that Him- what happened Me- when we play just u and me you don't ask to do fun stuff like try moves and stuff i feel like, u do with ( person A ) and (person B) tho, it kinda didnt feel like i was your friend too idk, and that last ovw game was giving me a negative feeling so thats why i got off
( i replied to “ well you wanted to get off”) Me- that sounds realy aggresive, like its my fault, u just assumed thats what it was i feel like before your first response would have been " what happened" but now its not anymore
Then he replied to me literally 7 hours later and said Him-why did u make that situation up just can't function here
Then I said I was sorry and not to worry about it and it was my fault, then he said “ it feels like your not expressing your feelings” and I replied to him and said that when I did you ghosted me for 7 hours but I said I knew it’s cuz he needed time.
Thank you to anyone that reads this, please I need some insight, i don’t know I might just be too needy and greedy and I’m just the one making things difficult, please tell me what I should do?
———— TL;DR I’m upset with how my boyfriend reacts when I tell him issues I’m having and how I’m not treated the same has his other friends despite me also being his friend

Kiki and Kimiko were at the park. Kimiko was throwing rocks against a tree as hard as she could, tears streaming from her angry, fiery eyes.
"Take that!" she growled, hurling another rock at the tree.
"Gee, you act like the tree broke your heart," Kiki said.
"I'm pretending it's Himiko!" Kimiko said. She reared back as far as she could and threw another rock with all her might. CLACK! It hit the tree spot on with a few chips of bark flying off. Kiki winced, imagining it really was Himiko. Then, Kimiko turned to another tree and threw a rock at that one.
"Why are you hitting another one?" Kiki asked.
"That one's Kokichi," Kimiko muttered bitterly. She lifted her arm to launch another rock.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, there, missy!" Kiki said, slowly pulling Kimiko's arm back down. "Look, what goes on between you and your sister is none of my business, but, don't throw rocks at my pretend tree cousin!"
"Why not? He broke my heart!" Kimiko yelled. "And it's all because he likes HiMiKo! "
"Well, yeah...cuz...she's his girlfriend," Kiki simply replied. Kimiko's face contorted with anger.
"Well, he shoulda picked a better girlfriend!" she screamed, hauling a rock at the Kokichi tree. More tears streamed from her eyes. "I thought he liked me! But...sniff...he just gave me a cupcake cuz he felt bad for me!"
"I mean...any cupcake is better than none, right?" Kiki asked, shrugging her shoulders. "Just be glad you got one."
"No!" Kimiko shrieked, throwing the rocks to the ground. "I wanted him to give me one because he loves me!" Then, she threw herself to the ground and buried her face into her hands, crying. Kiki merely watched in awkward silence.
"Um...there, there...?" she mumbled, trying to say something to make Kimiko feel better.
"Oh, my...what do we have here?" came a girl's voice. Kiki and Kimiko looked up to see Junko with a smirk on her face. Through her tears, Kimiko spied Junko's outfit and gasped in awe, standing up. Kiki eyed Junko warily as if Junko were some kind of dangerous dog.
"I couldn't help but overhear your conversation," Junko said in a soothing voice. "I'm sorry that you got your heart broken."
"Who are you?" Kiki demanded with suspicion, but Kimiko stared at Junko with fascination.
"I love your outfit!" she breathed.
"Why, thank you!" Junko said with a sweet smile.

"What's your name?" Kimiko asked.
"My name is Junko Enoshima," Junko replied. "And what are your names?"
"Um...sorry, we're not supposed to talk to strangers-" Kiki began.
"I'm Kimiko!" Kimiko interrupted. Junko focused her gaze on Kimiko.
"Ooohhh...so that's why I heard you complain about Himiko," she said. Hurt flashed across Kimiko's face.
"Yeah...she's my stupid, butt-ugly big sister," she pouted.
"Aww, I'm sure she's nice and sweet," Junko cooed.
"No, she's not!" Kimiko spat. "She stole Kokichi away from me!" Junko gasped and put her hand to her chest in mock surprise.
"She did?!" she cried. "The nerve of her!"
"I know!" Kimiko agreed.
"Wait...how do you know who Kokichi and Himiko are?" Kiki asked Junko, folding her arms.
"Why so suspicious of me, um..." Junko said, tilting her head with curiosity. "What did you say your name was?"
"I didn't," Kiki replied. "And you don't need to know-"
"Nyeh...her name is Kiki!" Kimiko answered Junko eagerly. Kiki stared at her, mouth agape.
"Kiki...I see," Junko said with a smirk. "There's no need to be so wary of me, Kiki. I'm a nice girl."
"Yeah, Kiki! She's nice! I can tell!" Kimiko said.
"How can you tell, Kimiko?" Kiki asked, placing her hand on her hip.
"She's so pretty!" Kimiko answered. "So she's gotta be nice!"
"I'm pretty sure that's not how things work," Kiki said. "A stranger is a stranger, no matter how pretty." Junko looked between Kiki and Kimiko, grinning evilly. Then, she put on her sweet smile from before.
"I think Kimiko is right," she said. "After all, she's pretty, too!" Kimiko squealed gleefully.
"See? Junko says I'm right...and pretty!" Kimiko said. "Nyeh...she's totally nice!"
"Ugh! You think Kokichi's hot, and he was nice to you!" Kiki pointed out.

"Hmph! He may still be hot, but I don't think he's nice anymore," Kimiko huffed.
"Okay, how do you know she won't do the same thing to you Kokichi did?" Kiki asked, pointing at Junko. "Just because someone looks cute, or pretty, doesn't mean they're nice!"
"I would never, ever do that," Junko said. "Besides, you said you like my outfit, Kimiko, right?"
"Yeah! Yeah! Uh-huh!" Kimiko said, nodding enthusiastically.
"If you were my friend, I'd let you wear all the cool outfits," Junko said. "And you wouldn't have to worry about anyone breaking your heart ever again because everyone would adore you!" Then, Junko gasped. "You might even be able to win Kokichi's heart for good, and have him all to yourself!"
"Really?!" Kimiko asked. Then, she sighed dreamily. "That sounds wonderful!"
"Weren't you just mad at Kokichi?" Kiki asked, raising a brow.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk...it seems like your friend is trying to ruin your dreams, Kimiko...just like Himiko did," Junko said, shaking her head. Kimiko whirled around at Kiki in anger and annoyance.
"Is that true?!" she exclaimed.
"What?! No!!" Kiki said. "I just think it's weird that this girl cares so much about you."
"She just wants to help me!" Kimiko snapped.
"Um...but, why?" Kiki asked. "Why would she care? She's just some teenager."
"Who cares?! She's a lot prettier, nicer, and better than Himiko!" Kimiko cried. "Not only that, she's my friend! And you're trying to keep me away from my friend, just like Himiko keeps trying to take me away from Kokichi!"
"Kimiko, I'm your friend," Kiki enunciated. "And Himiko isn't trying to keep Kokichi away from you. They're boyfriend and girlfriend! Plus, Kokichi's too old for you!"
"Hmm...sounds like to me that you just want Kimiko as your 'friend' so you can boss her around," Junko said. Kiki's eyes bugged out of her skull.
"What?! No, that's not it at all!" she shrieked. "Stop makin' stuff up!"
"You don't sound like a very good friend to me, does she, Kimiko?" Junko continued. Kimiko glared at Kiki.
"No, she's not," she agreed.
"KIMIKO!!" Kiki exclaimed.
"See, Kimiko? She's even yelling at you," Junko said. "A friend would be more understanding and let you do what you want to do."
"Yeeaaah..." Kimiko said. She then turned to Junko. "She didn't even have fun watching Sailor Moon with me!"
"Whaaat?!" Junko gasped in mock surprise again. "I love Sailor Moon! How could Kiki not like it?!" Kiki rolled her eyes.
"Will you cut that out?!" she cried. "You probably don't even watch Sailor Moon! "
"You definitely don't!" Kimiko said, glaring at Kiki. "You think it's lame! You think anime is lame! You're no fun to be around!" She walked over to Junko. "I think I'll hang out with my new best friend!"
"Eeee! Yaaay! We're gonna have lots of fun!" Junko squealed, holding Kimiko's hand. She began leading Kimiko out of the park.
"Kimiko!!" Kiki desperately shouted. Kimiko gave her a dirty look and turned away. Junko grinned evilly at Kiki, triumphant in having stolen her friend.
Part Four
"Wait! Kimiko!" Kiki ran after Kimiko and Junko. They turned and waited for her as she caught her breath. Then, Kiki took a deep breath. "Okay, I'll go with you." Kimiko brightened.
"Really?!" she gasped. Kiki smiled and nodded firmly.
"Yeah," she said. Kimiko took her hand.
"Okay!" she said, then looked up at Junko. "Is that okay, Junko?"
"Of course!" Junko said sweetly. As soon as Kimiko looked away, Junko eyed Kiki with disdain, and Kiki glared in suspicion back at her.

Yeah, I'm on to you, creep, Kiki thought to herself. Junko led Kiki and Kimiko to Hope House.
"Oh, you live in one of these houses, too?" Kimiko asked.
"Mm-hmm! I go to Hope's Peak Academy," Junko replied. Kiki's brain was flooded with a bunch of questions. Why would someone who goes to Hope's Peak show so much interest in two little girls like them? Why would she care that Kimiko is Himiko's little sister? What was she planning to do with Kimiko?
"What's your ultimate?" Kiki asked, raising a brow.
"Well, if you must know, I'm the Ultimate Fashionista," Junko replied haughtily as they entered her and Mukuro's room. Junko allowed Kimiko to sit on her bed.
"What does that mean, Junko?" Kimiko asked, flopping herself onto Junko's bed.

"Please, call me 'Big Sis Junko!'" Junko said. Then, she turned to Kiki. "Feel free to call me Big Sis Junko, too. You can also sit on my bed if you want."
"I'm good," Kiki replied coolly, holding up her hand to deny Junko.
"Nyeh...what does being an Ultimate Fashionista mean, Big Sis Junko?" Kimiko asked, squealing and giggling this time.
"It means I'm the most fashionable, stylish girl in the country," Junko replied. "I'm in every fashion magazine, rocking the hottest fashion known to mankind!" Kiki rolled her eyes. Kimiko's eyes lit up.
"Nyeeeh...I love fashion!" she exclaimed.
"Do you?" Junko asked.
"Uh-huh! Can you show me the type of clothes you wear?" Kimiko said.
"Of course!" Junko led Kimiko over to her closet. Kimiko sifted through Junko's outfits, gasping in amazement each time.
"Your outfits are soooo cool! I wish I could wear some of them!" she breathed. Junko knelt down next to her, placing her hands on Kimiko's shoulders.
"Would you like to be a fashionista, too, Kimiko?" she asked sweetly with a slight ominous tone in her voice.
"Oh, my gosh! Yes!" Kimiko answered. "I think I'd be a good fashionista! I even love giving my friends makeovers and stuff!"
"Is that so?" Junko asked.
"Yeah! I even like to gossip with my friends while I give them makeovers!" Kimiko said with a sneaky grin.
"Oh, my gosh, me, too!" Junko said. "We're totally, like, twinsies!"
"Yeah!" Kimiko gushed.
"Let's make a deal, okay?" Junko murmured. "I'll let you be a fashionista if you give me one of your amazing makeovers. Does that sound good?" Kimiko nodded.
"Uh-huh! I'll even give you the hottest gossip!" she said. Kiki felt a chill go up her spine. At this rate, Kimiko would be willing to tell Junko anything, especially the existence of magic. Kiki didn't know the extent of Kimiko and her family's magic, or anything beyond that, but she figured that it was absolutely vital for it to be kept secret.
"Kimiko, I think we should be going," Kiki said. "It's gonna get dark soon."
"But...it's only 5:15," Junko said, blinking her eyes innocently at Kiki. "We still have more time."
"Yeah! Big Sis Junko says it's okay," Kimiko said.
"Why don't you stay a little longer, Kiki?" Junko said. "Besides, it looks like you know a lot about fashion, too! Just look at your outfit! It's so adorable!" Kiki scanned her outfit. She did like her outfit, but hearing it from Junko made it sound somewhat insulting.
"Well...I like it, that's all that matters to me," Kiki said, crossing her arms and eyeing Junko warily. Junko's sickeningly sweet grin slipped a little, a gleam of contempt in her eye.
"Well, if she's going to be such a party pooper about it, I guess we have no choice but to agree with Kiki, Kimiko," she sighed.
"Huh?" Kimiko whined, her shoulders drooping. Then, she glared at Kiki. Kiki kept her stance unwavering and her arms crossed. She eyed Kimiko firmly in response.
"Don't worry, Kimiko! You can come back tomorrow!" Junko suggested.
"And then I can wear some of your outfits?" Kimiko asked hopefully.
"Only if you give me a stylish makeover," Junko responded with a wink.
"I will!" Kimiko said.
"I'm sure you two know the way out," Junko said. "Oh, and by the way, Kimiko, will you be staying at Casa V3?" Kimiko nodded. "Great! Maybe we can meet here tomorrow at noon. How does that sound?"
"Nyeh...you got it, Big Sis Junko!" Kimiko answered excitedly.
"Excellent," Junko said with a sneaky grin. "Ooo! Before I forget, would you two keep our friendship a secret?" Kiki raised a brow.
"Why?" she asked.
"Because...we wouldn't want our friendship to be ruined...would we?" Junko replied. She eyed Kiki meaningfully with an evil smirk.
"I definitely don't want that!" Kimiko answered. She turned to Kiki, glaring at her. "You won't tell anyone, will you?" Kiki hesitated. If she told anyone, her friendship with Kimiko would be ruined.
So, that's what she meant by that, Kiki thought to herself. She sighed, feeling stuck. But, she definitely couldn't just let Junko take over Kimiko's life. Junko was undoubtedly bad news. "Okay...I'll keep it a secret," she reluctantly mumbled.
"See? We'll keep it a secret, Big Sis Junko!" Kimiko assured.
"Awesome!" Junko said. Then, she waved her fingers up and down. "Well...buh-byyyeee..."
"Bye, Big Sis Junko!" Kimiko said, and skipped out of the doorway. Kiki cast one look of suspicion at Junko before turning her back and walking away. Once outside, all Kiki heard was Kimiko gushing about how great bIg SiS jUnKo was, and how she couldn't wait to see her tomorrow as they walked back to Casa V3.
"Kimiko, I don't think we can trust her," Kiki interrupted. Kimiko stopped and frowned at Kiki.
"Why not?" she asked.
"Well...there's just...there's something weird about her," Kiki replied.
"Nyeh...you're just jealous of her because she's prettier, and nicer, and not bossy, like you!" Kimiko said.
"I'm not bossy, Kimiko," Kiki said firmly. "I'm just trying-"
"You're just trying to keep me away from Big Sis Junko!" Kimiko said, cutting Kiki off. "I can do whatever I wanna do, and hang out with whoever I wanna hang out with!"
"Ugh, Kimiko, you just met her!" Kiki exclaimed.
"So did you, but you keep saying she's bad, even though you don't even know anything about her," Kimiko snapped. Kiki had to admit that she had a point. But, she couldn't shake the feeling that something was off about Junko.
"Okay, okay...you're right," Kiki said. "But, I think we should be careful around her. She's a stranger after all."
"There's nothing to be scared of!" Kimiko groaned irritably. "You're just...p-paragraph, or whatever!"
"It's paranoid, Kimiko," Kiki corrected. "And I'm not paranoid. I'm just cautious."
"You're not that, either! You're just annoying!" Kimiko said. "You're just like Himiko! Why don't you just leave me alone?" Without another word, Kimiko stomped off. Kiki stared after her in disbelief and uttered a pained sigh. She checked her watch, which read 5:25. She had to catch the bus to be home by six.
"Yup...I'm ready to leave the Twilight Zone already," she muttered to herself.

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/anon_78912
Originally posted to AmItheAsshole
AITA for embarrassing my parents for forgetting my birthday?
Thanks to u/Small-Bodybuilder160 and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for the suggestion!
Editor’s Note: added paragraph breaks for readability
Trigger Warnings: death of a loved one, verbal abuse
Original Post: May 27, 2024
I (F33) just had my birthday last week. The only problem is that no one in my family remembered.
My maternal grandfather passed away about a month ago and my entire family (mom, dad, and 2 younger brothers) flew back to my mother’s home country for the funeral. I, unfortunately, could not go as I’ve only recently started a new job. I wasn’t particularly close to my grandfather so I wasn’t too upset about staying behind. My family was gone for a total of 22 days and we FaceTimed and stayed in constant communication during their trip. I think it’s great that my mom got to reconnect with family and that my brothers got a chance to meet everyone. They got back last Wednesday and have been readjusting due to jet lag since then (understandably).
My birthday was last Friday (2 days) after they got back. TBH, I wasn’t expecting more than birthday wishes from everyone, but the day past without a word from anyone. Was I annoyed? Sure. But I wasn’t too upset. I’m not the biggest birthday person. I ended up having a nice birthday dinner with my boyfriend and a few friends.
All hell broke loose Saturday afternoon when I got a really angry phone call from my dad. I guess my boyfriend did a special IG post for me and my brothers saw it and showed my parents. I had no idea he did this as he isn’t a big poster. Anyway, I could hear my mom crying in the background while my dad laid into me saying that they were sorry they forgot, but not saying anything and then posting about it online was passive aggressive and mean. I told him that I wasn’t upset and that I didn’t think a 33rd birthday was that big a deal anyway. He said a few more things before abruptly ending the call. I didn’t hear from my family the rest of the weekend.
Today (Monday) I woke up to a bunch of notifications. I guess my mom did a Facebook post talking about ungrateful kids and how I ruined their surprise party for me and tagged me. My extended family seemed to agree that I was a jerk. I’ve tried calling my mom, but she didn’t answer so I posted my own reply and said “You guys forgot and no one wished me a happy birthday unless you count dad calling and yelling at me”. Both of my parents have been calling all morning, but I don’t want to take their calls yet. AITA?
EDIT: I couldn’t post the update to this sub since it’s a bit long, but you can find it in my profile. Thank you for the birthday wishes!
VERDICT: NOT THE ASSHOLE
Relevant Comments
Britt_Scherrer: NTA. Seems like they are trying to make you feel guilty for nothing.
Were they really planning a surprise birthday party as per your mom's Facebook post?

OOP: I have no idea. I asked my boyfriend about it and he said no one contacted him about it, but who knows.

embopbopbopdoowop: NTA
That their reaction is to get mad at and guilt trip you (for what? Having a boyfriend who makes a declaration of love on social media?!) to avoid having to feel any guilt or take any responsibility speaks volumes.
Surprise party? To quite venerated philosopher Cher Horowitz, AS IF.
 
Update: May 28, 2024
Hi all,
I tried posting this on the AITA sub, but it’s too long. I’ve been reading as many comments as I can. I do have a quick update, but I wanted to address some questions:

1. My boyfriend’s post: He had no idea that my parents hadn’t acknowledged my birthday until my dad called. I never mentioned it because, again, I wasn’t angry. The post was just a picture of us at the restaurant with my birthday cheesecake. The caption verbatim was, “Blessed to see you make another trip around the sun. I love you!” There was no mention of anything else. I also wasn’t aware of the post until my dad called about it.
   
2. This is very out of character for either of my parents which is why I’m not going to go no-contact. The way everything escalated is bizarre, but it gives me a better understanding of the situation. Hopefully it will for everyone else as well.
   

Onto the update:
After everything happened yesterday I told my boyfriend about the FB thing and he agreed that I should just not deal with it for the day. I turned my phone off and just chilled out. Around 6pm my boyfriend got a text from my brothers asking if they could come by because they wanted to see me and bring me the candy they brought back for me. I agreed and they came over… along with my parents.
At this point, I was annoyed to see my parents, but we let everyone in. My boyfriend made sure I was alright, and took my brothers out back so I could be alone with my parents. My mom started crying immediately and sobbed out an “I’m sorry”. I don’t know about you, but seeing my mom cry started to make me cry. My dad then explained what happened.
Apparently they absolutely forgot about my birthday (again understandable). My paternal aunt had come over on Saturday to see my parents. It’s worth noting that she does NOT like my mom for whatever reason. Since he’s been around for last 4 years, my boyfriend follows my brothers and a few of my cousins and vice versa. My cousins saw the post, showed my aunt and she asked my mom how my birthday went. (Side note, my extended family did reach out to wish me happy birthday, they just didn’t know my family forgot).
I guess my mom was caught out and my aunt went in on her being a bad mother and all that and saying at least I have my boyfriend. My dad got upset, told my aunt to leave and said they already had something planned (they didn’t). That’s when he called me. They never saw the post , and I was wrong thinking my brothers showed them.
My dad said he felt awful for yelling at me and apologized, but explained that he hated seeing his wife so upset. They took the weekend to cool down, but as many of you guessed, my mom tried to save face via FB. She explained that she didn’t think I would see it since I’m not usually on. What she didn’t realize is that when she typed my name in the post, my user name populated thus tagging me. She was shocked and embarrassed when I responded and started getting calls and texts from the extended family. She came clean to my dad about it and that’s when they tried calling, but I wouldn’t answer.
My mom looked very distraught and I just told her that everything was ok and that I’m sorry that I responded the way I did. It’s evident that she’s taking her father’s passing extremely hard and I don’t want to pile more onto her. Now’s not the time. My dad said it’s was few days late, but he’d love to order pizza and just hang out. I agreed. My boyfriend and brothers came inside and we spent a few hours listening to stories about my grandfather and my mom’s childhood. It’s definitely a birthday I won’t forget, but I guess alls well that ends well?
I would like to point out that we do NOT like my dad’s sister. She’s an awful person, but my cousins are amazing so my dad tolerates her. My mom can usually handle herself around my aunt, but she’s in a really vulnerable state which is how this escalated. I’ll probably talk to her about again, just not anytime soon
Also, thank you for the birthday wishes!
Comments
Western_Aioli_2767: Not saying you should cut your parents off by any means, but this is the most half-assed apology. Your father called and screamed at you because he forgot your birthday. Your mother made up a fake party and called you an ungrateful brat on the internet, thinking you'd never see, so that you'd look like an asshole. Their insults were incredibly public and nasty, and their apology was secretive.
I'd ask for an apology as public as the insult. I'm sure they are embarrassed they forgot. They should be. Sure, your mom's father died, but that's no excuse for DAD to forget. And if they'd forgotten or been off on the date because of jetlag, that would've been one thing. That's not what happened, though.
 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

This is going to be quite long so i do apologise but ill greatly appreciate it if you do read it and give your opinion.
My parents have been married for 20 years, theyre both over 40 y/o. They are both in love with each other, they have travelled to 5 different places together in the last couple months, my dad calls my mum everyday at 1pm when he’s at work, and they both go to the gym together every evening. In my opinion, they’re not unhappy with each other, my mother always talks about how most of our family and friends are divorced and how her and my dad are so lucky to be together.
I (f 19) and my dad recently went to visit our family in Poland. This might be weird for some of you, but we slept in the same bed together, i promise it’s not anything weird it’s just my grandparents don’t have enough space for two more beds. On the first night I noticed him staying up late to around 1/2am, this isn’t his usual behaviour however i thought nothing of it as he has a few days off. During this time he would text with my mum, but inbetween he would angle the phone away and go onto google chrome. I found this strange as he has an iphone which already comes with Safari, why does he need another search engine on his phone? I got a few glimpses and the layout was similar to Discord, which he uses for Weight Lifting/ Gym servers from Youtubers he watches, so i ignored it. The next day i went out into town with my grandad and when i came back i needed to charge my phone, i went into the living room to find that my dads phone was already plugged in. However, his phone was left unlocked on a website called czatoo.pl. I saw messages being exchanged between him and a woman, i decided to read them and scroll further up. Most of it was friendly messages about work and other things, but there were a few messages where she asked him if he looks attractive, further on in the conversation he mentions something about how he likes to ride bikes. She responds with she doesn’t know much about them, but she likes riding them and that she has a nice one that’s black (with a winky face), my dad responds with something along the lines of ‚I imagine you look good on it, I love women who ride bikes and big cars ;)’. He also begged her to tell him more about herself. (This is a Polish website and they are texting in Polish so i’m trying my best to translate it back to english). I took photos of the conversation and I sent it to my friend and she said it’s a really weird conversation since it’s so friendly but it has hints of them flirting, it’s not a normal conversation you have with a friend. I also noticed he has 2 other chats with women, i didn’t read them as it shows when u read the message and at this point i was shaking in shock.
I decided to take a look at the website myself, and it turns out that it’s a Public chatroom where you can chat with strangers, there are different types of chatroom themes such as for people who are lonely, looking to date, 18+ etc. You can privately message people in it too, and you can clear DMs or the entire chat with one button. I made an account to try and find the women he was talking to, two of them didn’t respond and the one I spoke to, i only asked her age, she said she was 44. I was slightly worried he would be talking to younger women but Im glad i could clear that lol. My dad never seemed like the type to cheat or flirt with someone else other than my mum, I always thought it wasn’t all men and especially not my dad, but after experiencing this and an incident i had with my boyfriend, ive realised men will always be boys. I know some of you will attack me in the comments but this has really distorted my perception of men/dating. My mum always was so confident that her husband would never do anything like this, I’d always tell her (after the situation with my bf) that i’m sure there’s something that my father is hiding. I never thought it would be true, i never had proof and now i’m worried that i bought it to reality haha.
I wasn’t sure what to do about this situation or if im overreacting, to me this is a form of cheating i would not want my partner to be seeking attention from another person in that way. I decided to contact my medium. I know lots of people don’t believe in them but this is a family medium that has spoken to my mother before and even reached out to me, they have told me many things that I have never told a soul and they always reminded me i could call them up whenever i was struggling. I explained the situation to them and sent the evidence, they advised me not to tell my parents but to urge both to flirt and support each other as neither of them feel appreciated, my mum struggles with her weight and her image of herself, and i know my dad struggles with mental health and body issues even tho gym is a huge part of his life. they said my dad isn’t cheating on my mum and that nothing physical has happened, and that my father is simply bored and reached out to another woman to feel more masculine and appreciated, it’s something new and exciting. Now it seems like it’s down to me to relight the spark between my parents but how the hell am i meant to urge them to flirt? to me their relationship is fine, rare arguing, their sex life seems fine (can’t comment much as i put headphones on lol) but they seem like a couple in love so i don’t know what the issue is? why would he do something like this?
I decided to investigate further, i created an account on the website to track my father down and get some answers out of him. All day he would sit on his phone on that website waiting for the woman to respond and he’d always angle the phone away or when i’d go near him or move slightly he would quickly swipe off the website. Unfortunately, he had a temporary guest account which gets deleted quickly and there’s no actual user to search for. I gave up. I made the decision to check his phone whilst he was asleep. So at 2 am, i took his phone, went to the toilet and checked the website, he was still talking to the woman i first saw. She started giving him nicknames such as baby, most of the conversation was deleted as i think he lost his other temporary account. But apparently he wrote paragraphs for her, unsure what it was about but she didn’t manage to read them all and she was begging him to write it again. I found out that he was in the 40+ themed chatroom and he also messaged a few other people a link to a Italian song lol. I also went through his camera roll and other apps like whatsapp and messenger (i know it’s wrong to look through peoples phone without permission but this is something that was on my mind and i was starting to feel like a detective from a movie locked in a room with red strings everywhere going into a psychosis) everything was clear, however, i found an app that he downloaded which is sort of like an email app, it’s called Nowa Poczta Interia (for anyone interested). I’m assuming he’s using it to talk to the woman on a more reliable app, but i didn’t end up checking it.
My medium told me to keep a close eye on my dad just in case it escalates, but to be honest, I’m not with him 24/7. He goes to work, i go to work, we come back at different times, he goes to the gym, i stay in my room and game, and then we go to bed. This trip is the only time i was constantly near him and now that we are back from Poland i have no idea wether he’s kept this behaviour up and if he’s talking to her at any opportunity. My mother told me that when we were away he would constantly tell my mum that he loves her and to never leaver him, just sappy stuff lol. He might have exchanged pictures with the woman, it might be casual, they might be seriously interested in each other, I have no clue. I’m just worried if i don’t do anything it’ll escalate and get worse.
I don’t know if i should bring it up with my dad, i’m scared to as people don’t react well with confrontation. My dad is over 6ft and very muscular with a short temper (i know he wouldn’t hurt me but big bearded angry polish man is scary lol) Do i tell my mum? i don’t want her to hate me or make her assume the worst and ruin their marriage. I don’t want to not say anything and have it live on my mind until i die. My friends have told me to tell my mum, but how do i even bring it up? ‚Hey btw dads flirting with another woman behind ur back’ ‚hey dads cheating’ I should not have to deal with this shit lmfao.
If you have made it this far, thank you for reading (sorry for making it so long) and I’d love to hear any advice and thoughts you have.

This is going to be quite long so i do apologise but ill greatly appreciate it if you do read it and give your opinion.
My parents have been married for 20 years, theyre both over 40 y/o. They are both in love with each other, they have travelled to 5 different places together in the last couple months, my dad calls my mum everyday at 1pm when he’s at work, and they both go to the gym together every evening. In my opinion, they’re not unhappy with each other, my mother always talks about how most of our family and friends are divorced and how her and my dad are so lucky to be together.
I (f 19) and my dad recently went to visit our family in Poland. This might be weird for some of you, but we slept in the same bed together, i promise it’s not anything weird it’s just my grandparents don’t have enough space for two more beds. On the first night I noticed him staying up late to around 1/2am, this isn’t his usual behaviour however i thought nothing of it as he has a few days off. During this time he would text with my mum, but inbetween he would angle the phone away and go onto google chrome. I found this strange as he has an iphone which already comes with Safari, why does he need another search engine on his phone? I got a few glimpses and the layout was similar to Discord, which he uses for Weight Lifting/ Gym servers from Youtubers he watches, so i ignored it. The next day i went out into town with my grandad and when i came back i needed to charge my phone, i went into the living room to find that my dads phone was already plugged in. However, his phone was left unlocked on a website called czatoo.pl. I saw messages being exchanged between him and a woman, i decided to read them and scroll further up. Most of it was friendly messages about work and other things, but there were a few messages where she asked him if he looks attractive, further on in the conversation he mentions something about how he likes to ride bikes. She responds with she doesn’t know much about them, but she likes riding them and that she has a nice one that’s black (with a winky face), my dad responds with something along the lines of ‚I imagine you look good on it, I love women who ride bikes and big cars ;)’. He also begged her to tell him more about herself. (This is a Polish website and they are texting in Polish so i’m trying my best to translate it back to english). I took photos of the conversation and I sent it to my friend and she said it’s a really weird conversation since it’s so friendly but it has hints of them flirting, it’s not a normal conversation you have with a friend. I also noticed he has 2 other chats with women, i didn’t read them as it shows when u read the message and at this point i was shaking in shock.
I decided to take a look at the website myself, and it turns out that it’s a Public chatroom where you can chat with strangers, there are different types of chatroom themes such as for people who are lonely, looking to date, 18+ etc. You can privately message people in it too, and you can clear DMs or the entire chat with one button. I made an account to try and find the women he was talking to, two of them didn’t respond and the one I spoke to, i only asked her age, she said she was 44. I was slightly worried he would be talking to younger women but Im glad i could clear that lol. My dad never seemed like the type to cheat or flirt with someone else other than my mum, I always thought it wasn’t all men and especially not my dad, but after experiencing this and an incident i had with my boyfriend, ive realised men will always be boys. I know some of you will attack me in the comments but this has really distorted my perception of men/dating. My mum always was so confident that her husband would never do anything like this, I’d always tell her (after the situation with my bf) that i’m sure there’s something that my father is hiding. I never thought it would be true, i never had proof and now i’m worried that i bought it to reality haha.
I wasn’t sure what to do about this situation or if im overreacting, to me this is a form of cheating i would not want my partner to be seeking attention from another person in that way. I decided to contact my medium. I know lots of people don’t believe in them but this is a family medium that has spoken to my mother before and even reached out to me, they have told me many things that I have never told a soul and they always reminded me i could call them up whenever i was struggling. I explained the situation to them and sent the evidence, they advised me not to tell my parents but to urge both to flirt and support each other as neither of them feel appreciated, my mum struggles with her weight and her image of herself, and i know my dad struggles with mental health and body issues even tho gym is a huge part of his life. they said my dad isn’t cheating on my mum and that nothing physical has happened, and that my father is simply bored and reached out to another woman to feel more masculine and appreciated, it’s something new and exciting. Now it seems like it’s down to me to relight the spark between my parents but how the hell am i meant to urge them to flirt? to me their relationship is fine, rare arguing, their sex life seems fine (can’t comment much as i put headphones on lol) but they seem like a couple in love so i don’t know what the issue is? why would he do something like this?
I decided to investigate further, i created an account on the website to track my father down and get some answers out of him. All day he would sit on his phone on that website waiting for the woman to respond and he’d always angle the phone away or when i’d go near him or move slightly he would quickly swipe off the website. Unfortunately, he had a temporary guest account which gets deleted quickly and there’s no actual user to search for. I gave up. I made the decision to check his phone whilst he was asleep. So at 2 am, i took his phone, went to the toilet and checked the website, he was still talking to the woman i first saw. She started giving him nicknames such as baby, most of the conversation was deleted as i think he lost his other temporary account. But apparently he wrote paragraphs for her, unsure what it was about but she didn’t manage to read them all and she was begging him to write it again. I found out that he was in the 40+ themed chatroom and he also messaged a few other people a link to a Italian song lol. I also went through his camera roll and other apps like whatsapp and messenger (i know it’s wrong to look through peoples phone without permission but this is something that was on my mind and i was starting to feel like a detective from a movie locked in a room with red strings everywhere going into a psychosis) everything was clear, however, i found an app that he downloaded which is sort of like an email app, it’s called Nowa Poczta Interia (for anyone interested). I’m assuming he’s using it to talk to the woman on a more reliable app, but i didn’t end up checking it.
My medium told me to keep a close eye on my dad just in case it escalates, but to be honest, I’m not with him 24/7. He goes to work, i go to work, we come back at different times, he goes to the gym, i stay in my room and game, and then we go to bed. This trip is the only time i was constantly near him and now that we are back from Poland i have no idea wether he’s kept this behaviour up and if he’s talking to her at any opportunity. My mother told me that when we were away he would constantly tell my mum that he loves her and to never leaver him, just sappy stuff lol. He might have exchanged pictures with the woman, it might be casual, they might be seriously interested in each other, I have no clue. I’m just worried if i don’t do anything it’ll escalate and get worse.
I don’t know if i should bring it up with my dad, i’m scared to as people don’t react well with confrontation. My dad is over 6ft and very muscular with a short temper (i know he wouldn’t hurt me but big bearded angry polish man is scary lol) Do i tell my mum? i don’t want her to hate me or make her assume the worst and ruin their marriage. I don’t want to not say anything and have it live on my mind until i die. My friends have told me to tell my mum, but how do i even bring it up? ‚Hey btw dads flirting with another woman behind ur back’ ‚hey dads cheating’ I should not have to deal with this shit lmfao.
If you have made it this far, thank you for reading (sorry for making it so long) and I’d love to hear any advice and thoughts you have.

Long post
for context i 17f and my boyfriend 17m have been in a relationship for a year and almost 2 months we are long distance which is hard but as all relationships there are ups and downs (for more context im only the second girlfriend he’s ever had while i’ve had a few relationships) and we have almost broken up a few times (him saying it not me) and last night started to go down hill after telling him over and over i needed him to do something we had lost the 2 month bsf emoji on snap now this may seem stupid thing to fight about but it wasn’t that i kept telling him he needs to listen to me so we can get it back he was so nice about it when i brought it up after losing it but it’s still not back after massive spams which i told him needed to happen a lot to get it back as i’ve done this many times before. now before anymore judges me for that it actually holds meaning to me and i feel hurt when it’s gone due to past events regarding relationships.
that start into the massive fight where i was told i was entitled demanding a brat i was also apparently spoiled and rude which i don’t understand how i know i nag him but it’s not demanding i always ask him nicely anytime something happens between us im always calm and nice about it.
now just to add to this me and him have had a talk about him going to bed mad at me and i always wake up in whatever mood i go to bed in i’ve brought this up with him and told him all i need is just some genuine nice things to me so i don’t end up pissing him off in the morning and said it shouldn’t take long if he doesn’t argue it. keep this in mind.
last night changed as he pushed me over the edge i already frustrated and he had already started swearing at me (something i’ve told him not to do in the past) and started yelling at me he told me multiple times he was going to bed and it’s around 11pm at the time i told him not to speak to me so rudely and his retort was “that’s rich coming from you” which wasn’t needed and i wasn’t really rude while talking to him. now he said he’s going to bed and i told him he needed to consider the talk because ill be shitty in the morning and his response to that was “just be a good girlfriend and don’t be shitty” he knows i wake up in whatever mood i sleep in.
for background in the last couple weeks we had a massive argument saying i was treating him horribly and i didn’t really realise it so i apologized and told him ill do better and now i feel like i have so much more in the past week. he’s main thing for me was to listen to him so i have unless it’s the sleeping mad at me situation which hasn’t really happened. he told me goodnight sleep well which i wanted a proper goodnight as the talk went over his head and he said i dont deserve it he doesn’t want to say nice things or say i love you to me or say dream of me which he always includes normally.
i again asked him to just be nice then he can sleep and he gets more pissed starts swearing more and still calling me entitled and a brat, then thinks to say i’m apparently having a breakdown because he’s not listening to me which i wasn’t i was still being calm but then it tipped me over the edge, i didn’t yell i only swore a couple times i had sent 3 paragraphs telling him he can’t expect me to constantly listen to him when he doesn’t even listen to me at all and how a mature conversation instead of him blowing up at me would’ve ended nicer, “because a mature conversation is impossible with you” and it’s not actually i’ve tried to initiate it multiple times in the past and as i was typing he tells me stop typing then proceeds to in one word messages say “stop being such an asshole” then “but instead you treat me LIKE A SACK OF DOGSHIT”. tells me we’re done (this has happened multiple times in the past) so i tell him no because he will regret which he tells me he would if i let him (now i keep telling him to stop threatening me with that or next time he does it i’ll never speak to him again now that’s when he changed and stopped saying it because i figured out he does it to hurt me he thinks i deserve it) then the last thing he said to me before sleeping was to piss off
i don’t like how he’s been talking to me when this happens and i feel so stupid for just letting this happen and trying to convince him to stay again because he knows he will regret it i feel stupid to not sticking to what i said because i don’t want him to leave and i don’t want to leave him but how he treats me in arguments isn’t okay when im trying to be nice i wasn’t rude at all i don’t think and him calling me an ahole isn’t okay but i know he won’t apologize for it unless i almost hand feed him me feelings and the apology and all i wanted last night was for him to listen to me when i said he can’t expect me to listen and not listen to me how i said i expected him to listen to me that’s when he said he was done he doesn’t want to admit he doesn’t listen to me.
now he’s at school so trying to get a mature nice conversation in is going to be impossible almost as he has classes my class is at the end of the school day and what happened last night had really hurt as i don’t think i deserved to be talked to like that as i don’t think i didn’t anything majorly wrong please help me i don’t know what to do because besides fights we are good with eachother. and he blamed me last night since he wanted to go to the gym before school.
i’ve noticed him and his family to my 18th that’s in 2 months because he needed numbers and to book the outside part of a restaurant early in advance and my dad would bring him home if his family doesn’t come either
he doesn’t have reddit but he reads those tiktok reddit stories so i’m hoping this doesn’t get posted as when i’ve tried to talk to people before because i can’t bottle it up he tells me i talk shit about him and got mad at me. but he did it with his best friend so i told him not to do what he said i can’t do but apparently he could because his friends are more “logical” they would give good advice instead of taking shit when my friends just need to comfort me they haven’t suggested to breakup with him when i used to talk to them except for one but i don’t really talk to her anymore and he knows this as i have a broken phone i use at night to text him and i took it with me when i went to see him now i don’t have an issue of him going into my phone but i had forgotten the messages were in there and he read all of it and he got a bit hurt so i went and sat outside to give him space this happened last time i saw him which was in april.
i’ve really needed to talk to someone but he’s get mad if i did so i really need your help
AITAH?
edit: we talked a little bit about what happened and all i got in response was “okay” and “yeah” “i’m sure” when all he’s asked for is what i also want and i brought up how he had hurt me he didn’t apologize no remorse he’s not really being particularly nice right now after i had told him i’d do better for him and would like him to do the same but i cannot do it yet as i’ve just been too upset my heart had started hurting and i feel sick from all of this he’s not really interested in doing anything with me and im starting to actually think about suggesting a long break but i have a feeling it’ll end in separation and i really don’t want it but he’s not interested right now i can’t even eat i’ve been in the verge of tears the whole day

First, let me say - the title of this post, alone, was difficult for me to write. Those who know me know that I have nothing but absolute love and admiration for those around me, and humanity as a whole. I truly do love people - but I've seen much in life, enough to clearly know when someone's intentions are not good. Anyways,
Me (28M) and my girlfriend (27F) have been dating for about a month or so officially, and another two months unofficially before that. Of course, this is all still very new, so the butterflies are abundant! She is an angel and every moment with her is a dream. Some preface to add emphasis to my next paragraph: She was engaged to someone for 4-5 years, and he passed away suddenly 2 years ago. Naturally, she was distraught, and for 2 years hasn't even considered dating anyone in any capacity - until now, and she is over the moon. This is a huge moment in her life, I'm so proud of her and look up to her for overcoming incredible hurdles, and I treat her with all the gentleness and patience she needs. Everything is great... Except for her "best friend".
My girlfriend, who we'll call "M", has a friend and roommate, who we'll call "T" (~35F). Ever since M even mentioned she was seeing me, T got jealous. Now, I understand jealousy is a natural human emotion, the impact of it is just a matter of how we confront and dispel our jealousy. Yet, I had a gut feeling this would only be the beginning. On multiple occasions, very early on, T would be mad at M for not coming home when she was staying at my place. They didn't have plans together or anything (I'd sorta understand if that was the case), T just wanted M home. This happened a few times. Then came a conversation they had, where T said something like "I can't tell you who to hang out and not hang out with, but... Not him". The last two words are me paraphrasing. T had never even met me at that point, and only heard wonderful things about me. Shortly after that, T had a drunken crying episode, telling M how unhappy she is that M is dating me. I haven't even been "allowed" to go over there to their apartment, because T "wants to meet me first", but canceled events we planned twice. It's obvious she's just playing some game and doesn't want me there.
We made plans to go to the zoo . T invited here other friend as well, G. The day before we go to the zoo, T tells M something along the lines of "I did this same thing to G when she first started dating her boyfriend and she's fine, so you two can bond in that misery". M told me this and my jaw dropped. I was shocked at the absolute insanity and parasitic nature of that statement. Next day, we go to the zoo. Now, I'd again like to reprise the preface I wrote to this all - I LOVE people and I love talking to and meeting those around me. That said - I finally met T. You can tell most of what you need to know about a person within 10 minutes of meeting the. T is, by far, one of the most dreadful, energy-sucking, controlling people I've ever met in my entire life. She was SO rude and downright MEAN to M (not like the playful back-and-forth bickering best friends do, this was just plain wrong). She didn't talk to me even once until the end of the day. We were in line for something, and she's telling M "we should do this together, that together, etc", with a smile on her face. Then, turns to me, goes dead-faced, and says "if you two are still together, you can come"... Like wtf???? So I said "still together?", which she replies "I'm not anticipating anything, I don't know what your plans are". So I just said "that's an interesting comment". I was livid, and I wanted to leave immediately. It kinda bums me out that M didn't say anything about that or back me up, but it's okay, I'll address that in the next paragraph. I was on autopilot at this point until this shit was over. T asked me some question, then mocked me by repeating my answer back to me like some parrot. Dude... M helped me move to a new apt 2 days ago. I mentioned that, and T says "that's weird, I would NEVER make her do that". I told M I wanted to leave and we did shortly after. We had dinner with M's parents that night (which was awesome btw), and we used that as a reason to go, to which T said "just do you, I guess you have dinner..." in a very nagging wife "do whatever you want" kind of way. Ugh...
We left, I was still livid and explained what an awful person T is to M. The good thing here, M completely agrees and is bewildered by this behavior. This is someone she considered a friend, so I know M is hurting bad. The worst thing is that, for M, entering this relationship is such a massive overcoming of her traumas, and she is loving the just full fledged lovey dovey days we have. Every day is a dream with her - and T is not only just being fucked up, but is actively attempting to STOP HER from experiencing this. This is all 150% textbook possession and manipulation - making M feel bad for seeing me, for loving me, keeping her down by berating and belittling her, making her feel like she has to report to her at all times. Not to mention keeping M, who is a middle school teacher, awake until fucking 2:00 am constantly so she can complain about me, who SHE'D NEVER EVEN MET until a day ago.
M is very non-confrontational and a bit timid - which is alright of course! We're all different! But that makes her the perfect prey for T to parasitically latch onto - cause she won't put up a fight! Which is also the reason M didn't say anything when the "if you're still together" comment happened. She was just scared to say something. Nobody deserves to have a person in their life that puts them in a corner and makes them feel like they have to say something.
I guess what I'm saying all this for is - does anyone have a similar experience? What should I do? What helped you? The good part is - M is also absolutely appalled by all this. Even M's parents aren't a fan of T.
Honestly, I'd really like for T to release her manipulative clutches from M and for M to completely remove her from her life. She is an awful person to have around...
Thoughts? What should I do/say?
TL;DR - My girlfriend's friend is actively getting in between her and I through obvious possession and manipulation.

This is going to be quite long so i do apologise but ill greatly appreciate it if you do read it and give your opinion.
My parents have been married for 20 years, theyre both over 40 y/o. They are both in love with each other, they have travelled to 5 different places together in the last couple months, my dad calls my mum everyday at 1pm when he’s at work, and they both go to the gym together every evening. In my opinion, they’re not unhappy with each other, my mother always talks about how most of our family and friends are divorced and how her and my dad are so lucky to be together.
I (f 19) and my dad recently went to visit our family in Poland. This might be weird for some of you, but we slept in the same bed together, i promise it’s not anything weird it’s just my grandparents don’t have enough space for two more beds. On the first night I noticed him staying up late to around 1/2am, this isn’t his usual behaviour however i thought nothing of it as he has a few days off. During this time he would text with my mum, but inbetween he would angle the phone away and go onto google chrome. I found this strange as he has an iphone which already comes with Safari, why does he need another search engine on his phone? I got a few glimpses and the layout was similar to Discord, which he uses for Weight Lifting/ Gym servers from Youtubers he watches, so i ignored it. The next day i went out into town with my grandad and when i came back i needed to charge my phone, i went into the living room to find that my dads phone was already plugged in. However, his phone was left unlocked on a website called czatoo.pl. I saw messages being exchanged between him and a woman, i decided to read them and scroll further up. Most of it was friendly messages about work and other things, but there were a few messages where she asked him if he looks attractive, further on in the conversation he mentions something about how he likes to ride bikes. She responds with she doesn’t know much about them, but she likes riding them and that she has a nice one that’s black (with a winky face), my dad responds with something along the lines of ‚I imagine you look good on it, I love women who ride bikes and big cars ;)’. He also begged her to tell him more about herself. (This is a Polish website and they are texting in Polish so i’m trying my best to translate it back to english). I took photos of the conversation and I sent it to my friend and she said it’s a really weird conversation since it’s so friendly but it has hints of them flirting, it’s not a normal conversation you have with a friend. I also noticed he has 2 other chats with women, i didn’t read them as it shows when u read the message and at this point i was shaking in shock.
I decided to take a look at the website myself, and it turns out that it’s a Public chatroom where you can chat with strangers, there are different types of chatroom themes such as for people who are lonely, looking to date, 18+ etc. You can privately message people in it too, and you can clear DMs or the entire chat with one button. I made an account to try and find the women he was talking to, two of them didn’t respond and the one I spoke to, i only asked her age, she said she was 44. I was slightly worried he would be talking to younger women but Im glad i could clear that lol. My dad never seemed like the type to cheat or flirt with someone else other than my mum, I always thought it wasn’t all men and especially not my dad, but after experiencing this and an incident i had with my boyfriend, ive realised men will always be boys. I know some of you will attack me in the comments but this has really distorted my perception of men/dating. My mum always was so confident that her husband would never do anything like this, I’d always tell her (after the situation with my bf) that i’m sure there’s something that my father is hiding. I never thought it would be true, i never had proof and now i’m worried that i bought it to reality haha.
I wasn’t sure what to do about this situation or if im overreacting, to me this is a form of cheating i would not want my partner to be seeking attention from another person in that way. I decided to contact my medium. I know lots of people don’t believe in them but this is a family medium that has spoken to my mother before and even reached out to me, they have told me many things that I have never told a soul and they always reminded me i could call them up whenever i was struggling. I explained the situation to them and sent the evidence, they advised me not to tell my parents but to urge both to flirt and support each other as neither of them feel appreciated, my mum struggles with her weight and her image of herself, and i know my dad struggles with mental health and body issues even tho gym is a huge part of his life. they said my dad isn’t cheating on my mum and that nothing physical has happened, and that my father is simply bored and reached out to another woman to feel more masculine and appreciated, it’s something new and exciting. Now it seems like it’s down to me to relight the spark between my parents but how the hell am i meant to urge them to flirt? to me their relationship is fine, rare arguing, their sex life seems fine (can’t comment much as i put headphones on lol) but they seem like a couple in love so i don’t know what the issue is? why would he do something like this?
I decided to investigate further, i created an account on the website to track my father down and get some answers out of him. All day he would sit on his phone on that website waiting for the woman to respond and he’d always angle the phone away or when i’d go near him or move slightly he would quickly swipe off the website. Unfortunately, he had a temporary guest account which gets deleted quickly and there’s no actual user to search for. I gave up. I made the decision to check his phone whilst he was asleep. So at 2 am, i took his phone, went to the toilet and checked the website, he was still talking to the woman i first saw. She started giving him nicknames such as baby, most of the conversation was deleted as i think he lost his other temporary account. But apparently he wrote paragraphs for her, unsure what it was about but she didn’t manage to read them all and she was begging him to write it again. I found out that he was in the 40+ themed chatroom and he also messaged a few other people a link to a Italian song lol. I also went through his camera roll and other apps like whatsapp and messenger (i know it’s wrong to look through peoples phone without permission but this is something that was on my mind and i was starting to feel like a detective from a movie locked in a room with red strings everywhere going into a psychosis) everything was clear, however, i found an app that he downloaded which is sort of like an email app, it’s called Nowa Poczta Interia (for anyone interested). I’m assuming he’s using it to talk to the woman on a more reliable app, but i didn’t end up checking it.
My medium told me to keep a close eye on my dad just in case it escalates, but to be honest, I’m not with him 24/7. He goes to work, i go to work, we come back at different times, he goes to the gym, i stay in my room and game, and then we go to bed. This trip is the only time i was constantly near him and now that we are back from Poland i have no idea wether he’s kept this behaviour up and if he’s talking to her at any opportunity. My mother told me that when we were away he would constantly tell my mum that he loves her and to never leaver him, just sappy stuff lol. He might have exchanged pictures with the woman, it might be casual, they might be seriously interested in each other, I have no clue. I’m just worried if i don’t do anything it’ll escalate and get worse.
I don’t know if i should bring it up with my dad, i’m scared to as people don’t react well with confrontation. My dad is over 6ft and very muscular with a short temper (i know he wouldn’t hurt me but big bearded angry polish man is scary lol) Do i tell my mum? i don’t want her to hate me or make her assume the worst and ruin their marriage. I don’t want to not say anything and have it live on my mind until i die. My friends have told me to tell my mum, but how do i even bring it up? ‚Hey btw dads flirting with another woman behind ur back’ ‚hey dads cheating’ I should not have to deal with this shit lmfao.
If you have made it this far, thank you for reading (sorry for making it so long) and I’d love to hear any advice and thoughts you have.

I (19f) recently had my heart broken after a one-night stand with a guy who doesn't want me back. I would love to hear some advice on how to get over it or how to get him to regain interest in me.
I have had a crush on a guy who went to a nearby high school for many years; I always thought he was cute and charming, but it was mostly nothing. We knew each other through mutual friends, but we had never talked before. A couple months ago, I approached him at a bar and said "you're so hot, you look like Chad Michael Murray," and he seemed into it by laughing and requested me on Instagram later that night. I'm very direct when it comes to men. If I'm interested in someone, I don't believe in playing games and will make it clear how I feel. I broke up with my short-term boyfriend about a month ago and have been telling all my friends since then how cute this guy is. Despite hardly knowing him, I had convinced myself that he seemed like the type of guy I would get along well. He's charismatic, excelling in school, motivated, does fun stuff, super athletic, and appears to have a good relationship with his family based on what he shares on social media. I know it's naive of me, but somehow I had convinced myself that we would be perfect together and developed an all-consuming crush on him.
So last week I got my friend to ask him when the next time he was going to the bar, and rearranged my whole weekend to make sure to "unknowingly" meet him there. I made sure to be near him all night while conversing with other people to make sure he always was looking at me, which eventually led to us talking and flirting at the end of the night. Before the bar closed, he confessed that he didn't know where to go after, hinting that he wanted to hang out more, so I invited him to my friend's house, where I had been already planning to go. She said that was not an option, so I quickly reacted by inviting him to my house without thinking much about it. To disclaim: I told my friends prior that I would not sleep with him, for one, because I don't like hook-ups, but also because I wanted to hold out to get him to keep interest in me- you know, not give him the goods right away. However, we were both incredibly inebriated, and one thing led to another. He stayed the night, and throughout the night I kept asking him when I would see him again, to which he told me on and on to come visit him at his apartment. He seemed interested in me and reassured me that it would not be a one-night stand. He asked me many questions about myself, confided in me with personal matters, and engaged deeply in conversation. He even told me that he had liked me since the first time he saw me, referring to the time I called him Chad Michael Murray. When I dropped him off at home in the morning, he told me he had a great time and would text and see me again. But he never really texted me. After not hearing back from him for two days, he finally reached out with a simple "hey." I responded promptly but waited another day for him to dryly ask me how my weekend was. I was absolutely devastated because I knew that if he actually wanted something, he would have shown more interest. I was so confused because I felt sure that he would have texted me a lot afterward, and we would have made plans to hang out that same week. I ended up double-texting him with a short paragraph explaining that I would like to see him again and wondering where his head was. After he didn't open it for a day, I just removed him on snap in an attempt to get over it and move on.
However, I haven't gotten over it; not even close. It's been over a week, and I still check his Instagram multiple times a day to see if he's posted or even just to scroll through his feed and admire how cute he is. I resent him deeply for breaking my heart, but I can't bring myself to let go because I can't get rid of the lingering feeling that there's still a chance. I feel delusional about this; my friends have even told me the same. I also don't know what hurts more: the fact that I was so close to getting someone I wanted so badly or just the shame of putting myself out there and getting ghosted. I've never gotten rejected, ghosted, or anything like this; I've always gotten the guys I wanted.
I'm having a tough time getting over this situation. I've been struggling a lot, finding it hard to sleep through the night and focus on my studies or go to the gym without feeling emotional. Every song I hear is now about him, and I can honestly say not a minute goes by without him passing through my mind.
I'm hoping for clarity or reassurance that he's just playing a long game, as some guys do, and that I should be patient and play hard to get, and he will come back to me. I really appreciate any advice or replies you can provide to assist with my broken heart.

Repost due to filter issues. I am the aforementioned “professor” in a BORU post about me related to posts in subreddit. I decided to post a response after this event was brought up again with a mutual, Maria. We’re both hanging out as I type this. She and I have both hung out with “boyfriend” (Bob) in group settings and think there are definitely two sides to this story. My main gripe is being portrayed as a drunk and a man-stealer. Below is the original BORU post that I found while browsing one day. Also, someone did find me after reading this post due to how specific it is. I am responding pararaph by paragraph so you do not need to read the original post, feel free to.
The title in BORU is below as I cannot link other subreddits.

Do I (28F) need to worry about my boyfriend's (24M) friendship with his professor (25F)?

My bf (24M) became friends with his former professor (25F), sometime last year - I don't know what to make of it. They seem to be friendly and talk consistently every week, and from what he tells me, it's usually very surface level. Sometime last year after the course ended, my bf, his professor, and some of his male classmates went somewhere to eat together. My bf brought up that he was going to be attending an event (plastic modeling show), and his professsor showed interest and invited herself to the event and asked if she could stay at his airbnb with his friends. My bf and his friends were all OK with it.

I was an instructor for one class/semester that BF (Bob) attended. I have no say or sway at the school and have not taught since then. I taught a class related to my profession. I did not get to know Bob personally until after the class was over. On the last day, he expressed that I was a great instructor and gave me a miniature he built as a show of gratitude. I also made miniatures (a different type though) and was intrigued that someone else was into this hobby. We stayed in touch. Later, I invited a few students for a meal (girls and guys) and the boy students were the only ones who RSVP’d yes. Bob did mention an event. I did not invite myself, I said me and my friend Linda were interested and may go too. Later on, Bob invited me to join their group’s airbnb because I was looking at hotels. A previous event trip fell through for my and Linda’s friend group and I felt bad she couldn’t go on a trip in the USA before she had to go back to her home country. This trip was to replace that experience. Bob invited us to the airbnb and Linda and I shared a room with 2 beds, Maria ended up coming on this trip as well, which the group was also okay with, and stayed in the same room with me and Linda

I unfortunately couldn't attend the event, but from what my bf told me, he and a few of his friends met up at their airbnb. That same day, his professor comes to my bf's airbnb and tagged a few of her girl friends along (I believe they all stayed in the same place). The next day, they go to the event, went to a bar afterwards and got drinks. A lot of them (except my bf) got pretty drunk and my bf took the liberty of being the designated driver for his professor and her friends. His professor won some model kit from the event, and even in her drunken state, asked my bf if he could stay up with her to work on the kit together. From what my bf tells me, nothing else happened that night.

Respectfully, I had one cocktail and then his friend bought everyone a shot. That was the extent of my drinking. I wasn’t drunk, Linda wasn’t drunk, and no one else in the group ended up being drunk., Maria was though. Maria underestimated how strong the drinks were and she was the DD and we did not have enough time to sober up once she felt the alcohol hit her. She couldn’t drive, I didn’t want to drive her dad’s car, and Linda doesn’t have a US driver's license. Bob offered to drive the car with me, Linda, and Maria back to the airbnb. The other car was driven back by his friend who was not drunk and drove sober. At the airbnb, Bob asked what i would do with the model kit I won, I said i am not familiar with this type of miniature and so I would sell it on facebook marketplace. He said it was actually easy to build, he had built that one before, and he could help me build it right then as all their tools for building were still out on the table. I said he didn’t have to but he insisted and I accepted his help. I was also still not drunk. Next to us in the living room, Maria and 2 of the guys were watching Ouran High Scool Host Club and Cowboy bebop. We all stayed up until 2AM building or watching anime. For half of the trip, me and the girls split off and did our own thing. We did not stay with the group the entire tip because our intent was to piggy back a small girls weekend while also seeing the event.

After the event, everyone from that group created a group chat and they continue to plan and talk about future events together. Since then, my bf and his friends had met up with his professor and got to meet his professor's fiance at an anime convention and it sounded like they all got along well. His professor continues to express interest in other events and it sounds like she may be attending another event with my bf and his friends in the near future.
I trust my boyfriend and don't think he is hiding anything from me. Honestly speaking, I think it's hard for me to understand their friendship as it is his professor. I've had a conversation with him on this, and he's let me know that I have nothing to worry about. I would like to hear other's opinions and see what ya'll think of this friendship? Is this something I need to be concerned about or is it really nothing?
Thank you all!
\Edit: the professor was my bf's former professor. She is classified as an adjunct faculty and works as an accountant as her full time job (which explains why she is a young professor).*
\My bf has not graduated college yet and is still a student at his university.*

Bob and his group went to an anime convention. I and my friend group also went because I was not aware there was one near me until Bob mentioned it. My friend group, I thought, got along well with his friends and it was a great first con experience. I and a few of my friends expressed interest in future events. I think she is hung up on this professor titleship but I was an instructor whom students called professor but I was very clear this was a side gig and I was had a career. I was never in any position of power at the school, I was a contract employee used to fill an open course section at an undesirable time. For the majority of the time I knew Bob, we were equals who were only 1 year apart in age and shared a similar hobby.

Relevant Comments:
You should go to one of the events with him:
"I do struggle with social anxiety so it makes me uncomfortable to be sharing a space with a lot of unknown people. I am hoping to go to the next event though since it's local."
Her relationship with students is grossly unprofessional:
"I'm totally with you - I am also quite confused of her choice of "friends". I am not sure why of all places, does she choose to share an airbnb with her former student and to be drunk with them. She is classified as an adjunct faculty, so she is a professor but is part time (she works full time as an accountant). The whole situation feels weird to me."
Clarification:
Commenter: You say “his professor” what is their specific academic connection? She taught him once years ago and now they’re roughly equals and friends? Or she’s his primary support for a PhD? Or what?
OOP: The first option - she taught him last year and now are now friends. He is no longer in a course with her. I totally understand how it's possible for students and their professors to be friendly, but i've never heard or seen of a friendship where you consistently talk and hang out together so casually.
So she's no longer his professor- they are two adults of the same age and power level:
"It kind of gives me the same vibes like if a student graduated HS and is friends with their young teacher (obv not the same thing, but a student-teacher relationship is there). I think as a teacher, you should still uphold that level of professionalism and mentorship, even if you are no longer the student's teacher.
I also want to note that they are technically not "equals" since they're both in relationships. She can't be acting however she wants with former students."

I respect that they view my actions unprofessionally. I did not view it as such since I was no longer an instructor and have not been since. I taught a 4 month course one day a week. I would not be friends with an 18-22 year old I had nothing in common with.

Update: my boyfriend and I had a more heart-to-heart talk regarding his teacher and he recognizes that it crossed some of my boundaries. He believes that she may be behaving the way she does because when she hangs out with her fiance's friends, she gets bored with them (and may possibly be seeking attention from other people?). Several weeks later, my boyfriend had a conversation with his college instructor regarding their friendship and told her how I didn't feel comfortable of their friendship and how he thinks they should keep communication at a minimum. She brought up how she understands because her fiance also had an issue with how she chose to share an airbnb with my bf. She mentions to my boyfriend that she sees him as a brother and that's why she feels really comfortable with him, but that she will try to respect my boyfriend's wishes of keeping conversations at a minimum.

I did not know it had crossed any of their boundaries at the time until the phone call. I treated Bob the same way I treated all of my friends but I do understand and respect that not everyone has the same view of friendship. My friend group went through a period where we would talk about going to stuff and then no one does any work to follow through. The event Linda and our friends were going to attend that never happened is a good example. I didn’t want lazy friends being the reason why I did not experience things. Bob did follow through on going to things. My husband’s concern was that it was a group of guys we had not met yet in person and we were all girls. I told him that if I thought any one of them was giving off weird vibes, we would immediately leave and get a hotel. As for the phone call, he did call to tell me basically the same and my understanding was that we should talk less because she does not like the closeness. At the time, we were messaging every day and I did make an attempt to reduce the frequency to once a week.

Well, even after that talk, she continues to still message my boyfriend weekly on random life updates. And because she is also part of my bf's chat in discord, one of his friends invited her to attend another plastic modeling show (it occurred recently) and dinner. Since she accepted the invitations, I chose to attend as well so that I could personally meet her. The dinner occurred first and it was very uncomfortable because she practically ignored me the entire night. When she joined us at the table, she greeted my bf but didn't say anything to me (even my bf noticed and got annoyed, but then introduced us). She got increasingly drunk throughout the night and was saying random stuff about my bf to his friends like "he could've been the best student in my class but it's cause he missed some assignments" and "[bf's name] gave me a 5 star review on rate my professor!". She ended up not going to the show, but my bf had a chat with his guys and they told him that they want to respect my feelings too and make it a guys' night next time.
I would like to hear other's opinions and see if you also think she is acting suspicious?

One thing left out is that during the phone call between Bob and I, I asked Bob if his GF would want to ever talk to or get to know me, or all 3 of us hang out, and he said he asked her and she said she did not want to do that and she was uncomfortable at the thought of meeting me. I did stop messaging him frequently and only did so once a week to ask how his job search was going and to let him know the status of a big event in my life. I thought that was what was requested, less interaction, not no interaction. Maria and I went to this dinner because everyone from the airbnb trip was going to be there (Linda did not go). What is not mentioned is that Bob and the GF arrived 40 minutes into eating. I nodded in their direction when they came and said hey in their general direction, not specifically at Bob or her. I did not talk to either specifically because (1) GF does not like me and him talking and I was not about to directly talk to Bob in front of her (2) she said she did not want to talk to me or get to know me and never retracted that statement. I learned Bob and GF thought it was a slight against them that I only said hey to Bob but I didn’t direct it to anyone and I was trying to play it safe. Had I known she came to personally meet me, I would have tried to talk to her. After learning why she came, I was surprised she did not talk to me even though she came to meet me. As for the alcohol, except for them, since they arrived late, everyone had 2-3 drinks already because it was happy hour. Me and Maria made friends with the bartender who gave us discounted cocktails. I even bought a drink for GF so she could get the discount and then pay me back. It is true I said those jokes but I said them in jest and these were jokes already made previously. To be fair, she did not try to talk to me at all, nor did she try to talk to Maria. Later that week, Maria called me to catch up and mentioned the dinner. She commented that GF made no effort to get to know us and thought GF went to monitor him and me. In essence, she ignored me and Maria and Maria and I ignored her. I did not go to the show because I had a prior commitment.

Relevant Comment:
She wants to have sex with your boyfriend. She's crossing major boundaries. Has he stopped conversation with her?
"I wouldn't be surprised if that is her intention cause there's def some shady people out there. I agree, she is crossing some professional and personal boundaries, and I think it's quite unusual behavior for any teacher to act like that. Yes, he has stopped communicating with her. She was consistently messaging him until last week...so hopefully she got the memo.

As mentioned in her post, I did view Bob as a brother. He lived similar experiences to me but I felt like he was where I would have been had I not moved out from my parents when I did. I wanted to see him professionally thrive and accomplish his goals of getting a car and moving out as those were things I strived for but had already attained. As for the 5-6 times we met up, it was in group settings and he met all of my friends and my husband as well. This post, to me, makes it seem like I was always hanging on to Bob but there were many instances of me and my friends breaking off to do our own thing. My husband and Linda’s husband were both okay with us going to the airbnb at the time and later on met and got to know Bob too. Each time we met, if I drank, I had 2 drinks and one time I had 3. I am not sure how Bob told these events to his GF so it may just be lost in translation but the only person who ever got drunk at a meet up was Maria and it was once. I do not agree with her stating that I was constantly drunk for each meet up or always asking/inviting myself to things. He invited me to join his airbnb group (i asked if Linda and Maria could join me), I did ask to join his group for another event until my friend group arrived (which included my husband, Linda, and Maria), and his friend invited me to the group dinner (Maria attended). To this day, his GF has never said a word to me or Maria (she did not say hi, only waved to us), nor us her. When I offered to order and bring her cocktail from the bar, I believe Bob was the one who responded to my offer. I only found out about what she was thinking via this BORU post. Linda, Maria, and I haven’t talked to Bob since, this was a cathartic write with Maria as it is very jarring to randomly find a post about yourself and then also have someone find you from that post.

Long post ahead. Check tldr at the end.
My bf and I have been together for almost a year now. At first, I fell in love with his golden retriever energy. He was fun, made me laugh a lot, and showed me a whole other perspective in life. I saw him as a bundle of joy and a ray of sunshine. However, I just got out of an almost 2-year relationship and realized that, I haven't been single for the past 4 years. After self reflection, I also felt that I needed to manage my anger issues and weak control over my emotions. We were just friends for the first few months and we've actually known each other since we were kids. We go to the same school and his sister is one of my closest friends. I never viewed him as a love interest until I started hanging out with him and realized how fun and lovable he was. So, I started falling for him and he wanted to be in a relationship with me anyway. We got together after a couple weeks. (Around September 2023)
Now, he was your typical soft boy. Super duper apologetic, and very under. I'm not exactly sure what happened but overtime, he got my toxic traits. Namely, cursing him, raising my pride too much, and shouting when mad. This happened around Dec '23 or Jan '24. He would easily get mad and irritated.
Fast forward to April and this was one of the hardest and worst months we have EVER faced as a couple. We have a thing for school and it's like internship. There was this guy that was one of my supervisors and when I finished the minimum number of days, he messaged me on my instagram saying, "see u around". We weren't super close irl that I would've expected him to even dm me. After all, he was 24 years old and I made sure to mention my boyfriend multiple times to hint at him. I deleted the convo bc I didn't want to start a fight. But my bf saw the notif in the notification center. For context, my bf has my ig acc. He even caught me lying that I accidentally deleted it. We fixed it with the conclusion that I'd unfollow him. However, I kept him as a follower. I posted videos and stuff to my close friend story. My bf found out he was in my cf list and got mad, saying why did I have him there, etc. I said it was an accident. We got over this.
A week after (or less) I found out he cheated on me last February. He went to a bar with his guy friend (who invited other girls), and even though his friends kept on reminding him to act straight, he kept being touchy with the girl. He keeps on denying that they kissed but his best friend said that they did, even adding a detail that sounds exactly like my bf (he was spitting when he realized that he kissed another girl). His friends (3 of them) said that he slept beside this girl when they went to one of his(bf) friend's resort/home. My bf said that it wasn't even for that long, lasting only 10-15 mins. I wanted revenge and added that guy to my dump acc and main again. This lasted for a day or two until he noticed and got upset about it. We had a HUGE fight. He said that we were over the whole cheating thing bc I said so. Honestly, I only made the deal of making my mistake and his fair and square (for context: i told his friend ab our problem when i couldn't contact him and i was looking for him). Also, he wanted to break up when he found out i knew bc his friends told me about it. I wasn't over the issue but i refused to end the relationship, so i had to compromise.
Moving on, he actually broke up w me and I followed this guy again and he got mad over it when we got back together.
TW: suicide, self harm Other stuff that happened (frgt the timeline ngl) - he found out i had flirty texts with my boy bsf during the first month of our talking stage. - whenever we'd fight or when he'd try to break up w me: would say the sex was bad and call me used, call me a hoe and slut, say i could fuck whoever i want since i'm a slut - one time, i wanted to kms and failed to do so. i told him i shouldve js done it. he replied w "fr" lol. but if we're ok again after he'd angrily point out how crazy lucky i am and how good my life is, how pointless it would be to kms. - i'd go crazy whenever we'd fight due to abandonment and rejection issues from my past friends, thinking he'd leave too. i'd hurt myself and experience panic/anxiety attacks. - keeps on overthinking and i can't go out without him bc i'd need to constantly update so i wont be able to relax anyway
Now, he calls me slut and hoe whenever a situation would come up and he thinks I deserved to be called it. Do I need to put up with this? Is it all my fault? I have toxic traits too but I always own up to them and he's never once felt any remorse for cursing me and/or calling me names. I feel so frustrated because he's my only friend and the only person who can understand me. Idk why but he has such a comforting presence. Is this trauma bond? Please help.
My mental state now: - depressed, increased appetite due to stress eating - constant state of anxiety - low self esteem because he keeps on telling me that my toxic traits are that bad, i deserve to be left by people (at the same time if he's in a good mood, he'd say that it was their fault for leaving me)
tl;dr I started dating my boyfriend after enjoying his fun, positive energy, but things quickly became toxic due to my unresolved issues. He developed my bad behaviors, leading to constant fights. He cheated, called me derogatory names, and reacted insensitively to my mental health struggles. I have my own toxic traits (check paragraph 3), but he shows no remorse for his actions. I'm questioning if I need to stay in this relationship and if this is a trauma bond. Please help.

I am the aforementioned “professor” in a BORU post about me related to posts in subreddit. I decided to post a response after this event was brought up again with a mutual, Maria. We’re both hanging out as I type this. She and I have both hung out with “boyfriend” (Bob) in group settings and think there are definitely two sides to this story. My main gripe is being portrayed as a drunk and a man-stealer. Below is the original BORU post that I found while browsing one day. Also, someone did find me after reading this post due to how specific it is. I am responding pararaph by paragraph so you do not need to read the original post, feel free to.
The title in BORU is below as I cannot link other subreddits. (Was able to link, after the fact)

Do I (28F) need to worry about my boyfriend's (24M) friendship with his professor (25F)?

https://www.reddit.com/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/7mIcJp6t7n

My bf (24M) became friends with his former professor (25F), sometime last year - I don't know what to make of it. They seem to be friendly and talk consistently every week, and from what he tells me, it's usually very surface level. Sometime last year after the course ended, my bf, his professor, and some of his male classmates went somewhere to eat together. My bf brought up that he was going to be attending an event (plastic modeling show), and his professsor showed interest and invited herself to the event and asked if she could stay at his airbnb with his friends. My bf and his friends were all OK with it.

I was an instructor for one class/semester that BF (Bob) attended. I have no say or sway at the school and have not taught since then. I taught a class related to my profession. I did not get to know Bob personally until after the class was over. On the last day, he expressed that I was a great instructor and gave me a miniature he built as a show of gratitude. I also made miniatures (a different type though) and was intrigued that someone else was into this hobby. We stayed in touch. Later, I invited a few students for a meal (girls and guys) and the boy students were the only ones who RSVP’d yes. Bob did mention an event. I did not invite myself, I said me and my friend Linda were interested and may go too. Later on, Bob invited me to join their group’s airbnb because I was looking at hotels. A previous event trip fell through for my and Linda’s friend group and I felt bad she couldn’t go on a trip in the USA before she had to go back to her home country. This trip was to replace that experience. Bob invited us to the airbnb and Linda and I shared a room with 2 beds, Maria ended up coming on this trip as well, which the group was also okay with, and stayed in the same room with me and Linda

I unfortunately couldn't attend the event, but from what my bf told me, he and a few of his friends met up at their airbnb. That same day, his professor comes to my bf's airbnb and tagged a few of her girl friends along (I believe they all stayed in the same place). The next day, they go to the event, went to a bar afterwards and got drinks. A lot of them (except my bf) got pretty drunk and my bf took the liberty of being the designated driver for his professor and her friends. His professor won some model kit from the event, and even in her drunken state, asked my bf if he could stay up with her to work on the kit together. From what my bf tells me, nothing else happened that night.

Respectfully, I had one cocktail and then his friend bought everyone a shot. That was the extent of my drinking. I wasn’t drunk, Linda wasn’t drunk, and no one else in the group ended up being drunk., Maria was though. Maria underestimated how strong the drinks were and she was the DD and we did not have enough time to sober up once she felt the alcohol hit her. She couldn’t drive, I didn’t want to drive her dad’s car, and Linda doesn’t have a US driver's license. Bob offered to drive the car with me, Linda, and Maria back to the airbnb. The other car was driven back by his friend who was not drunk and drove sober. At the airbnb, Bob asked what i would do with the model kit I won, I said i am not familiar with this type of miniature and so I would sell it on facebook marketplace. He said it was actually easy to build, he had built that one before, and he could help me build it right then as all their tools for building were still out on the table. I said he didn’t have to but he insisted and I accepted his help. I was also still not drunk. Next to us in the living room, Maria and 2 of the guys were watching Ouran High Scool Host Club and Cowboy bebop. We all stayed up until 2AM building or watching anime. For half of the trip, me and the girls split off and did our own thing. We did not stay with the group the entire tip because our intent was to piggy back a small girls weekend while also seeing the event.

After the event, everyone from that group created a group chat and they continue to plan and talk about future events together. Since then, my bf and his friends had met up with his professor and got to meet his professor's fiance at an anime convention and it sounded like they all got along well. His professor continues to express interest in other events and it sounds like she may be attending another event with my bf and his friends in the near future.
I trust my boyfriend and don't think he is hiding anything from me. Honestly speaking, I think it's hard for me to understand their friendship as it is his professor. I've had a conversation with him on this, and he's let me know that I have nothing to worry about. I would like to hear other's opinions and see what ya'll think of this friendship? Is this something I need to be concerned about or is it really nothing?
Thank you all!
\Edit: the professor was my bf's former professor. She is classified as an adjunct faculty and works as an accountant as her full time job (which explains why she is a young professor).*
\My bf has not graduated college yet and is still a student at his university.*

Bob and his group went to an anime convention. I and my friend group also went because I was not aware there was one near me until Bob mentioned it. My friend group, I thought, got along well with his friends and it was a great first con experience. I and a few of my friends expressed interest in future events. I think she is hung up on this professor titleship but I was an instructor whom students called professor but I was very clear this was a side gig and I was had a career. I was never in any position of power at the school, I was a contract employee used to fill an open course section at an undesirable time. For the majority of the time I knew Bob, we were equals who were only 1 year apart in age and shared a similar hobby.

Relevant Comments:
You should go to one of the events with him:
"I do struggle with social anxiety so it makes me uncomfortable to be sharing a space with a lot of unknown people. I am hoping to go to the next event though since it's local."
Her relationship with students is grossly unprofessional:
"I'm totally with you - I am also quite confused of her choice of "friends". I am not sure why of all places, does she choose to share an airbnb with her former student and to be drunk with them. She is classified as an adjunct faculty, so she is a professor but is part time (she works full time as an accountant). The whole situation feels weird to me."
Clarification:
Commenter: You say “his professor” what is their specific academic connection? She taught him once years ago and now they’re roughly equals and friends? Or she’s his primary support for a PhD? Or what?
OOP: The first option - she taught him last year and now are now friends. He is no longer in a course with her. I totally understand how it's possible for students and their professors to be friendly, but i've never heard or seen of a friendship where you consistently talk and hang out together so casually.
So she's no longer his professor- they are two adults of the same age and power level:
"It kind of gives me the same vibes like if a student graduated HS and is friends with their young teacher (obv not the same thing, but a student-teacher relationship is there). I think as a teacher, you should still uphold that level of professionalism and mentorship, even if you are no longer the student's teacher.
I also want to note that they are technically not "equals" since they're both in relationships. She can't be acting however she wants with former students."

I respect that they view my actions unprofessionally. I did not view it as such since I was no longer an instructor and have not been since. I taught a 4 month course one day a week. I would not be friends with an 18-22 year old I had nothing in common with.

Update: my boyfriend and I had a more heart-to-heart talk regarding his teacher and he recognizes that it crossed some of my boundaries. He believes that she may be behaving the way she does because when she hangs out with her fiance's friends, she gets bored with them (and may possibly be seeking attention from other people?). Several weeks later, my boyfriend had a conversation with his college instructor regarding their friendship and told her how I didn't feel comfortable of their friendship and how he thinks they should keep communication at a minimum. She brought up how she understands because her fiance also had an issue with how she chose to share an airbnb with my bf. She mentions to my boyfriend that she sees him as a brother and that's why she feels really comfortable with him, but that she will try to respect my boyfriend's wishes of keeping conversations at a minimum.

I did not know it had crossed any of their boundaries at the time until the phone call. I treated Bob the same way I treated all of my friends but I do understand and respect that not everyone has the same view of friendship. My friend group went through a period where we would talk about going to stuff and then no one does any work to follow through. The event Linda and our friends were going to attend that never happened is a good example. I didn’t want lazy friends being the reason why I did not experience things. Bob did follow through on going to things. My husband’s concern was that it was a group of guys we had not met yet in person and we were all girls. I told him that if I thought any one of them was giving off weird vibes, we would immediately leave and get a hotel. As for the phone call, he did call to tell me basically the same and my understanding was that we should talk less because she does not like the closeness. At the time, we were messaging every day and I did make an attempt to reduce the frequency to once a week.

Well, even after that talk, she continues to still message my boyfriend weekly on random life updates. And because she is also part of my bf's chat in discord, one of his friends invited her to attend another plastic modeling show (it occurred recently) and dinner. Since she accepted the invitations, I chose to attend as well so that I could personally meet her. The dinner occurred first and it was very uncomfortable because she practically ignored me the entire night. When she joined us at the table, she greeted my bf but didn't say anything to me (even my bf noticed and got annoyed, but then introduced us). She got increasingly drunk throughout the night and was saying random stuff about my bf to his friends like "he could've been the best student in my class but it's cause he missed some assignments" and "[bf's name] gave me a 5 star review on rate my professor!". She ended up not going to the show, but my bf had a chat with his guys and they told him that they want to respect my feelings too and make it a guys' night next time.
I would like to hear other's opinions and see if you also think she is acting suspicious?

One thing left out is that during the phone call between Bob and I, I asked Bob if his GF would want to ever talk to or get to know me, or all 3 of us hang out, and he said he asked her and she said she did not want to do that and she was uncomfortable at the thought of meeting me. I did stop messaging him frequently and only did so once a week to ask how his job search was going and to let him know the status of a big event in my life. I thought that was what was requested, less interaction, not no interaction. Maria and I went to this dinner because everyone from the airbnb trip was going to be there (Linda did not go). What is not mentioned is that Bob and the GF arrived 40 minutes into eating. They arrived when I was away from the table. When I saw them after I returned, I nodded and said “hi”, not specifically at Bob or her. I did not address the hi to either specifically because (1) GF does not like me and him talking and I didn’t want to disrespect that by talking to Bob in front of her (2) she said she did not want to talk to me or get to know me previously and I thought she still felt that way. I learned Bob and GF thought I only said hey to Bob but I didn’t direct it to anyone and I was trying to play it safe. At that point, I knew she had social anxiety and was against meeting with me to get to know me previously, so I thought I was respecting her boundary by not talking to her. Had I known she came to personally meet me, I would have tried to talk to her. After learning why she came, I was surprised she did not try to start a conversation with me or Maria. As for the alcohol, except for them, since they arrived late, everyone had 2-3 drinks already because it was happy hour. Me and Maria made friends with the bartender who gave us discounted cocktails. I ended up buying a drink for GF so she could get the discount and then pay me back. It is true I said those jokes but I was not the one to bring them up, they were said in jest, and these were jokes already made in previous interactions. Later that week, Maria called me to catch up and mentioned the dinner. She commented that GF made no effort to get to know us and thought GF went to monitor him and me. In essence, she ignored me and Maria and Maria and I ignored her. I did not go to the show because I had a prior commitment.

Relevant Comment:
She wants to have sex with your boyfriend. She's crossing major boundaries. Has he stopped conversation with her?
"I wouldn't be surprised if that is her intention cause there's def some shady people out there. I agree, she is crossing some professional and personal boundaries, and I think it's quite unusual behavior for any teacher to act like that. Yes, he has stopped communicating with her. She was consistently messaging him until last week...so hopefully she got the memo.

As mentioned in her post, I did view Bob as a brother. He lived similar experiences to me but I felt like he was where I would have been had I not moved out from my parents when I did. I wanted to see him professionally thrive and accomplish his goals of getting a car and moving out as those were things I strived for but had already attained. As for the 5-6 times we met up, it was in group settings and he met all of my friends and my husband as well. This post, to me, makes it seem like I was always hanging on to Bob but there were many instances of me and my friends breaking off to do our own thing. My husband and Linda’s husband were both okay with us going to the airbnb at the time and later on met and got to know Bob too. Each time we met, if I drank, I had 2 drinks and one time I had 3. I am not sure how Bob told these events to his GF so it may just be lost in translation but the only person who ever got drunk at a meet up was Maria and it was once. I do not agree with her stating that I was constantly drunk for each meet up or always asking/inviting myself to things. He invited me and Linda to join his airbnb group (i asked if Maria could also join us), I did ask to join his group for another event until my friend group arrived (which included my husband, Linda, and Maria), and his friend invited me to the group dinner (Maria attended). To this day, his GF has never said a word to me or Maria (she did not say hi, only waved to us), nor us her. When I offered to order and bring her cocktail from the bar, I believe Bob was the one who responded to my offer. I only found out about what she was thinking via this BORU post. Linda, Maria, and I haven’t talked to Bob since, this was a cathartic write with Maria as it is very jarring to randomly find a post about yourself and then also have someone find you from that post.

Hello everyone. I am 21F and my bf is 23. He recently started a job back in February as a studio assistant for a very well known brand. He met this woman who is around 28 years old. She broke up with her bf after cheating on him but that’s not the pont.

1. She has no friends. She moved out here 5 years ago and has absolutely no friends. She complains about it all the time. She would rant constantly to my bf about her problems and my bf obviously uncomfortable w it, told her she should meet me so she can talk to me about it. We hung out a couple of times, and she then told my bf that I’m too young for her to hang out with, but that my bf wasn’t.. She said “I’ll only hang out w her if her bf is there” when he asked why she said I don’t know, with you it’s different.
   
2. She would say really questionable things. I let him give her a ride to the train before I met her, and she said “imagine I left something in the car (hair, hair tie) your girl would flip “ which to me tries to insinuate cheating.
   
3. She would constantly compare us and say she was crazy just like me. She hated pink nails and when I told her I always got them, started getting pink nails as well.
   
4. She would rant to him all day about her problems, including texting him nonstop paragraphs after work which made me uncomfortable as fuck and I know she knew that. Not just because she was running to him for emotional support but because their job is 90% female and she chose my bf to run to.
   
5. She would ask my bf to keep things from me such as the fact that she didn’t want to hang out with me. Which ofc he didn’t. He would come home and tell me everything this girl said.
   
6. It turned out after talking tk a former coworker that she was trying to tell people for months before I met her that I was jealous and threatened by her because she was pretty. She also tried to tell people and continues ro do so that I was obsessively stalking her page. My bf and I both found this out the other day.
   
7. she invited me to her bday and to this Memorial Day party bc she had no one else to invite. We went out for Memorial Day to a party and she doesn’t drink or smoke. I drink and I was pretty drunk but not fucked up at all. I was meeting a lot of people and hanging out w them and making plans. She’s not very outgoing or talks. She looked pretty irritated that I was doing my own thing. And then she made the comment that I was too young for her to hang out with and she’s only hanging w me if my boyfriend was there too bf it’s “different with him”
   
8. She told people I was not healed and has basically been thinking my bf and I are in a toxic relationship. I was in a horrible relationship where I was cheated on, and there was a work party he went to at the beginning of his job and I was very stressed out and breaking down telling him I didn’t want to go. This wasn’t a normal work party. They had like, very famous rappers perform. She was asking him if he was going to and he said no. She asked if it was about me and his silence was a yes. She said I used to be like that but now I’m healed. I found out that is when she told everyone I was threatened by her.
   

Anyways. I basically told this girl off and told her and she was lonely and unhappy and that this was why she had no friends. The text is long but I told her she was very insecure and projecting her insecurities onto me. I posted on my close friends on a private spam with 100 followers and one of her friends saw it and showed her. So now she is telling everyone I’m bashing her and I’m this horrible person for dragging her. Which I didn’t. I just exposed everything she had done to interfere in my relationship. She told people at work that her and my bf were fighting, like they’re a work couple. Btw right when my bf said she was crossing boundaries her immediate response was “I’m not trying to get at you@. Which I never EVER thought or brought up. I just thought she was crossing boundaries and said really questionable things. So I think she outed herself by saying that cause no one mentioned that.
AITAH for telling this girl off and cutting off their friendship? And for exposing her actions? I don’t know whether to apologize to her for doing that bc she refused to apologize for crossing boundaries because she “didn’t understand what she was doing wrong” she eventually apologized , but it was definitely fake and she is still talking shit about me and trying to tell people im bashing her. AITAH and am I wrong for anything? Did I just read everything wrong and she didn’t do anything wrong? Any advice would be appreciated.
ETA: I want to add my bf and I have a very healthy relationship and rarely fought until this woman came around. We love each other so much and people compliment our relationship. My bf is not the type to be rude and he is very quiet and doesn’t know how to shut down situations that make him uncomfortable. I am very upfront and confrontational and can come off as mean. I tried to be respectful as possible without getting set off.
The girl (28F) tries to say she’s not clingy or needy. The guy she cheated on her bf w she obsesses over and he gives her no attention. I genuinely think, and so does one of my clients (I’m a caregiver) that this was never about me or my bf. It was about how she could feel. My bf is a good listener, I believe she felt as though she had a boyfriend when talking to him. And another thing he said she would do is constantly yell for him at work and tell everyone she can’t do anything without him, she needs him for help, etc.
ETA: I did not cut off their friendship. I do not work with them. Even in my messages to her I said I had no problem with them being friends. I had a problem with her disrespecting boundaries and continuing to do so knowing my bf was communicating to her that they were making both of us uncomfortable.

I’m a 24f and my friend is 23f. I met her in 2019 when we were both working in the strip club. she was also a friend of a mutual person that I knew. A little bit later in 2019 she got fired from the strip club that we were both working at, but I would still stay in contact with her via our mutual because the mutual and her worked at the same club. (my friend, and our mutual worked at the same club, but our mutual still worked at the same club I worked at.)
in 2020 all the clubs close down because of the pandemic. at this time I had clients from work. Their vacation got canceled and they wanted to use their refund money to throw a party. so I called up some of the girls that I worked with who I consider cool to dance at these parties with me. so I invited my friend. Imma just call her Amy for the sake of the story. but I called Amy and she comes. At first, she was hesitant and came really really late, like end of the party late. however, she made some money and got drunk and cursed out some of my clients. That situation honestly is a story for another day. but I winded up talking to her about it and everything was cool. now fast-forward to 2021. i’m fresh off of a break up and she starting a relationship with someone. I started doing my own thing like dating and traveling and she was making her transition out of the strip club. eventually, she leaves the strip club and her and her boyfriend are living together and working from home. then eventually they break up and she moves to Tennessee. I can completely understand why they broke up because me and our other friends have told her that she does have a habit of emasculating men and that will impact her relationship. which it did. now in 2022 I’m back in relationship with the person that I had the break up with. we used to talk on the phone about the relationship and other stuff and I can tell that she really didn’t want me to be with him which is understandable because of what happened in the past. but to shorten up 2022 me and my ex got back together and she moved from Tennessee back to Georgia, then eventually moved to Texas with her other friend and her aunt. so in 2023 she’s living in Texas. I’m living in Georgia and I decided to go back to school. during this time, I would call her send her memes, check if she’s on line so we could play video games. sometimes she would answer sometimes she wouldn’t but I didn’t think anything of it. so now it’s 2024 and I called her recently because I wanted to play the new season of Fortnite with her. but she didn’t answer none of my calls, however she sent me a long paragraph essentially saying that she didn’t understand why this is happening, and that she thinks that my boyfriend created a wall between us. she also expressed that this wall between us has hurt her. to be honest, I was very surprised to receive this text from her because as of lately I’ve been calling her. she hasn’t been calling me or checking in on me, but I still check on her.
her message: Have you ever just loved something SO MUCH and then boom it’s different? Like everything changes? I keep remembering all we did together. The laughs we shared. You never really judged me. You always had my back even tho I was a hot mess 😂😂😂 like I can never forget the friend you were to me. You were amazinggggg you hear me? But since you started back dealing with Aurther it just feels so different like no tea no shade at all. I respect the fact that you changed but it’s hard for me to understand the new change. It’s hard for me to get past this wall that I personally think he put up. You told me one time that the man wouldn’t have wanted to throw money on me 😂 like what?? I’m your best judy … so I thought. And it’s more than just that. I love you so much but I lost the person I once knew. Where did she go? 😢 and I think that’s what hurt Chanel so bad. Like you hurt her. And you hurt me, and Kayoir I was willing to stick around but it’s a different girl. I just don’t understand
so I responded “i can understand this. it’s different. but i never really saw it in this perspective. i don’t want it to be that way because you’re a really good friend to me. and the comment about him not wanting to spend money on you wasn’t related to you per se. it was the environment he was talking shit about when i was throwing those private party.”
then after I sent that message, I just called her because it didn’t make sense to say all this through text. we talked on the phone and honestly it was about random stuff. I told her how I’m almost done with school and she was telling me all her ideas that she has planned out for herself. but we didn’t talk about our friendship. I would like for us to still be friends, but I don’t think she really wants to be friends with me. How can I keep our friendship, is it even salvageable?
TL:DR- my friend of five years feels like my boyfriend has put up a wall between us. how can I save the friendship?
(sorry for any grammar issues. i felt like i needed to give some context to understand the situation 😔😬)

To preface me and my boyfriend have been together for 10 months. Let’s call his girl best friend T, and my boyfriend L for convenience. T and L have been friends for about 3 years now (so before me(19f) and L were together) they haven’t always been close but always been friendly and or in the same friend groups. me and T met through a mutual and us and said mutual became a trio.
Fast forward to me asking T if she would put me on with L since I thought he was cute, the first thing she said to me was “your not really his type but I’ll try”. Strange but I didn’t read too much into it. A couple weeks later after some dates me and L are Dating and she seems very happy for us, I see absolutely nothing weird going on. They often hang out together alone which I’m very understanding of because they were friends before we got together and I figured if there was something between them it would have already of happened and she had told me nothing had happened, plus she was also in a relationship. We four began to go on double dates, where my boyfriend would buy me lunch or a trinket or something to that effect but it seems she was getting jealous that he wasn’t also getting her something? She would get really pouty and short with me and my boyfriend despite her boyfriend also being there where could have easily bought it for her. She also tried to get my boyfriend to go to an empty church parking lot alone with her at like 11 o’clock at night to ‘take pictures’. My boyfriend invited me along as he thought it looked very odd from my pov, he told her about 10 mins before he was to pick her up that I would also be coming, which shouldn’t be weird considering me and T are also friends. She said that it was fine so we went to pick her up. Before we went to the parking lot, we decided to get a late night snack from the grocery store, T did not want to talk to me, and was clearly being very short with me -she even went as far as to hang back about 3 feet and basically ignore me, super weird but eventually we went to the parking lot. She took her pictures and I hung around my boyfriends car, eventually I lit cigarette to which I offered her one because she always wants a hit when I have mine, she said yes, but once they were done with their pictures, she immediately started fidgeting with my boyfriends two seater confused I asked, “didn’t you want one?” to which she replied “I just kinda wanna get out of here.” Hearing that from anyone else would’ve been perfectly normal, but that’s just not who she is or how she ever acts so I understandably found this odd. Fast forward to our first argument- i’m one of those people who repost everything they agree with on TikTok, that being said I had reposted some thing about girls being disrespectful to other girls relationships. She brought it up to L and asked if it was about her L said he had no idea, but it probably wasn’t and he can’t imagine that I would re-post some thing intentionally to make a dig at her- which was absolutely true, and after he confirmed with me, he told her it wasn’t. This did bother me, but I didn’t say anything, again I re-posted some thing about pick me’s or something to that effect which led her to send him paragraphs on paragraphs about how I was being disrespectful to their friendship, and was trying to control his life. He was completely taken aback and argued that it was nothing like that. He also reiterated time and time again that I did not control his life and let them hang out very regularly. She said some very nasty hurtful things, but eventually apologized as he made it very clear he would choose me every time. Fast forward again and T told one of my very close friends that she had a crush on L not that long ago to, obviously, my friend immediately told me as she knows all of the weird stuff that’s been going on prior to this, that definitely raised some major red flags for me. Recently her boyfriend left for the military and she’s been acting extra catty towards me. T got very upset with me over not letting her write her name on a graduation gift thatI spent my Hard earned money and time to make by hand. Saying I was being unfair and hurt her feelings, I was really confused, so I just apologized but reiterated that I did spend my money and time on them when she contributed nothing. Then we were at a party together with a lot of our mutual friends, after the party was over she texted my boyfriend about how me and our other friends completely ignored her and made her feel alienated and didn’t give her a proper goodbye when she left at least five hours early. She went on to call me and our other friends ignorant, which I have a huge problem with because she’s name calling ME to MY boyfriend. My boyfriend absolutely hates confrontation so apologize that she felt that way, but said that he didn’t think it was anything intentional and left it at that. I know he would never cheat on me and I told me multiple times he would always choose me over her and if I didn’t want them to talk anymore he would understand completely. I just have no idea what to do in the situation. I have no hard evidence that she has feelings for him just weird instances. How should I handle this?