Get a job with an autobiography

Wondering if anyone has dealt with a similar situation and the outcome?
First of all, I have a lawyer.
I’ve filed and I have a Mutual Restraining Order in place (which means he can’t destroy, hide, get rid of assets, change beneficiaries, insurance policies etc. Nor can I. Basically, we have to maintain status quo).
As per the MRO, he must make the mortgage current (he has not paid the past two months-it has ALWAYS been his bill and the mortgage is in his name, title in both of ours).
The issue is, he lives/works in another State and I did not have his living address to serve him papers until earlier this week. Thus the MRO isn’t in place until he is served.
My lawyer tried to contact him for his address to no chagrin. So I had to text him and say “look I’ve filed for divorce and if you don’t want to be served at work you need to give them your living address”
It wasn’t until AFTER I said this and thanked him for giving me his address, that he responded “no problem, I’ll probably quit and come home soon”
He texted me two other messages within 24 hours stating that he told his boss that he “is done end of month” and he “told [boss] he is quitting.”
I’ve already shared both these texts with my lawyer to help gain exclusive use of the marital home during the divorce as he has been verbally abusive and manipulative all during our separation (verbal abuse prior to). So not safe to share a home.
However, I am wondering what the outcome of him quitting could mean for my benefit.
I am in a no fault state, he has been the breadwinner, and we are a few months shy of our 10 year. No kids.
Alimony is solely dependent on spouse ability to pay—but could seriously draw out the judgment process to fight for that it may not be worth the request.
Due to the state of the mortgage, there is already a possibility that he forfeits his authority on selling and by court judgment I could end up with sole ability to sell since he is putting an asset at risk/contempt.
So I’m just wondering, if he actually did quit and ends his employment end of month, would I stand to gain more than 50% of the assets?
Asset split is equitable not equal. So I feel him knowing I filed and quitting his job after the fact could be detrimental to his case and work heavily in my favor.
Very unique situation.
TLDR: I’m wondering if anyone has experienced similar with their spouse voluntarily quitting and how it affected your judgment in the divorce.

Does Taskade have an agent or tool or whatever that basically copies or does a very similar function to what motion or reclaim does with their auto-scheduling?
I’m looking for an auto scheduler and task manager- motion is very appealing to me but it only does that and bouncing around from platform to platform just to keep my life organized and battling with apps not integrating with each other is a second job not to mention how expensive that gets. Taskade seems like it could be a perfect platform for keeping everything under one roof but it has to do the important jobs of these other apps pretty well.
Is there already such a calendatask manager auto scheduling function in Taskade that’ll take all of the things on my calendar and organize them into tasks with varying levels of priority and so forth and actively schedule and reschedule all of those things for me as daily to-dos, broken down into time blocks and whatever else the other ai auto schedulers do? If not, is something in the works or could it at least be trained into one these AI agents? Is it possible some other user has already done this and I can possibly copy their agent or something? I’m not a Taskade or motion user but I am on the cusp of committing to one of these platforms for my auto scheduling needs and if Taskade is up to the job then I’d prefer to use it over a more niched app like motion or reclaim.

After much deliberation with myself that I am posting here.
Is it just around me or are a lot of experienced people out of jobs currently?
My husband lost his job a year back due to company downsizing and he has been trying tirelessly ever since but no luck. With 14+yrs as an operations manager in SCM domain. No luck.
My brother, MBA in finance and 8yrs experience. Left his job in USA to get settled in India. Been more than 8 months here. No luck.
My SIL, completed her MBA 4 months ago. 3+ yrs experience in digital marketing, training & project management. No luck.
This is my immediate family. Few other cousins and friends too are facing the same.
Its not that they are not qualified, they are upto date on skillsets, are very smart, hard working and intelligent too. sometimes overqualified/over experienced maybe. not sure what's the problem with the job market here in Bangalore.
Its strange, cause never have we faced such scarcity of jobs ever till now. What's happening!? Seriously.
Mental health and the pressures of it all is eating us up. Hope there is light in this dark tunnel.
Note: if anyone who has read till here would like to refer any jobs or provide us with job leads, we would be very thankful. Could you please DM me.

Yesterday I was served my papers. Dismissed after 3yrs at the company. My performance was stellar. I received constant praise for things I did. Was liked by most everyone. But at the end of the day, it's all about money. Company had "limited work", and they needed to make cuts. What better department than the IT department. We're not revenue generating, and an easy target.
I was the sole systems admin on a 4-person team. I managed the server and cloud environments. I did the "Tier 2 and 3" troubleshooting. I was hands-on with the c-suite giving them "white glove treatment". I also would 3D print stuff for the company. Whether it was stuff used in the shop for when they made cranes and trucks, or for events. I was working on wall mount brackets for our WAPs so they were mounted horizontally. I managed the security camera system. UPS', network, you name it. We had an entire year of updates planned. Moving to SharePoint and eliminating an old on-prem file server. Finally getting rid of our last 2 Server 2008 R2 boxes. Upgrading the building security and HVAC control systems.
Despite all that I did, all that I was involved in, it didn't matter. Company needed to cut costs, and I was next on the chopping block. When I arrived yesterday morning at work, I put my keys on my desk, removed a print from my printer to see how it turned out (if you know anything about 3D printing, TPU is not easy to work with), and went to grab a coffee. As I'm at the machine, I hear a "Morning" from behind me. It was my boss. He didn't look happy. Said he needed to talk to me in my office. Then I heard another "Morning" from behind me. It was the CFO. That's when I knew something bad was happening.
We went to my office, I put my coffee on the desk and heard the door close. Was told I was being laid off due to a "lack of work". Was nothing performance related. The CFO gave me a hollow "thank you for your help and all that you've done" and shook my hand. Told me that they can give me a glowing reference if I want. Once he left and it was just my boss and I, I could tell how furious he was over this decision. He told me that he argued hard against this, and that he only found out late the day before. In the end, it fell on deaf ears.
Boxing up everything off my desk was such a weird feeling. I had moved offices a few times, but this was different. When I had all my stuff boxed up, it was almost 8am. Boss mentioned that people were rolling in for the day and asked if I wanted to wait to go out to my car. I told him "fsck that. I want as many people as possible to see this." and he told me he liked that attitude. I held my head high and walked out to my car carrying a box, by boss behind me with another box. Had a few people see me and have shocked looks on their faces. Had one lady come back as I closed my trunk and asked to give me a hug. I always liked her. She's Spanish and has that awesome mom vibe. She hugged me so tight and said she was sorry this happened. Boss shook my hand, and told me how sorry he was. We're meeting for lunch tomorrow because there are some big discussions to be had. He also told me that there are a few people who will be reaching out to me to discuss job opportunities. The amount of support I've received from him even after this is nothing but amazing. He was by far the most supporting and helpful boss I've ever had.
This morning is when it really hit me. Woke up at 930. House was quiet. Slowly went downstairs, got my coffee, and sat down at my computer. I opened my resume to start updating it, and realized that I just couldn't do it. And that's when everything came rushing out.
Decided I'm going to take some time for myself instead. The wound is pretty raw still, and I need to collect myself before I work on anything. Had a friend reach out to an audiobook company to see if they need any male VAs and they do, so maybe this could be a good time to focus on my VA career which went on the back burner. Plus I have a lot of lines to record for a DCS World campaign. Also have some 3D print projects to work on. Adding a runout sensor to the extruder on my k1 max, and printing Obi-Wan's lightsaber from Ep3 to go on my shelf of geeky things. Some things to do around the house as well.
No matter how hard you work. No matter all the good you do for the company, at the end of the day you're nothing but a number on a spreadsheet. And the higher up on that sheet you are, the bigger a target you become. They will discard you like yesterday's jam without nary a thought. Don't kill yourself for your job. Set up your boundaries, and work within them. It's not worth your energy, your sanity, or your well being to kill yourself for your job.

My husband(38yr old male) and I (39yr female) have been together for 22 years. We have 3 teenage sons. Our relationship has not been great. We've been through multiple separations due to issues arising from alcohol abuse on his part(he is now mostly sober). Before covid we were living apart and had an open marriage. He was paying child support and doing what he could to help me financially. It was so wonderful for me. I felt so peaceful and happy and was healing from all that he put me through. I was working a part time job that paid pretty poorly but it worked with my kid's schedule so I stayed at that job for 7 years. Then when covid hit he ended up moving back into our house. I wasn't happy about this at all but also didn't want to keep him from his kids plus I really had no choice since we both own the house and we were not legally separated. I would often feel overwhelmed by caring for the children and keeping up with the house that we bought together. We've owned it for 10 years at this point. I have expressed my need for him to contribute to keeping the house up for literal years. It's now 2024 and while he doesn't drink anymore and we do get along well I still have no romantic feelings for him, he's my family and I love him but that's it. He's constantly wanting to have sex with me even though I have told him l that I have zero interest. I tell him that I am so overwhelmed with the state of our house and his lack of help that I have no desire to have sex. I feel like if my needs aren't met why should I meet his need for sex? He works from home and has his own business. Last year he allowed me to quit my crappy job and now I feel like he holds that over my head. Like because he makes all the money that it's the only thing he has to do. The business that he built pretty much runs itself and he has plenty of time during to take care of other things. There is mold in our bathroom, trim falling apart on the windows outside, actual windows falling apart, everything is a mess and I cannot keep up. My 3 sons also don't clean up after themselves so I feel like I'm constantly surrounded by mess. Dirty dishes, dirty laundry, pee on the toilet seat ect. I have no access to money, only to a shared credit card that I'm afraid to put big purchases on like a new window or whatever. We do not have a joint bank account although he will send me money to my bank account to pay some bills(car insurance, streaming services, pet food ect). Most of the time it's just enough to cover whatever bills I have although sometimes I do get extra. He holds all the power in our relationship and I'm just so tired. I feel like I've been a good, supportive wife and good mother but of course I am not perfect. I had horrible parents growing up. He doesn't seem to understand that he can't just buy what I'm asking for from him. We have conversations about what I need from him and he admits that he needs to do more but then doesn't act on it. Like he's just telling me what I want to hear so I'll have sex with him. It takes effort to have a connection with me and he puts in no effort. I don't want to make him sound like a monster, he's not. He doesn't yell at me and we have great conversations. I can go out and see my friends or whatever. He'll cook dinner if I tell him I don't want to do it that night. We very rarely fight and he's never physically abused me ever.
We don't have an open marriage anymore and I want so badly to be in love with him but I don't know what to do at this point. In January he allowed me to buy a puppy(we have 2 other dogs) and is paying for all of her care/training classes. I have started entering her in shows(she won one of them!!) which he obviously pays for. He tried to say that because he bought me a puppy and I'm happy that I should have sex with him...Being happy about my puppy doesn't mean I'm suddenly in love with him again. Just this morning he said that my childhood trauma has caused everyone in the house trauma and that hit me SO fucking hard because I have tried with every fiber of my being to not let my trauma effect my family. I asked him what he meant by that but he didn't elaborate. Then said he was joking when I asked if he was being serious. It felt like he was trying to blame me for the way things are. Throughout our relationship I have tried so hard to be a good person, I am a good person dangit and yes I do have trauma from my childhood but I don't see how that is what caused him to drink and drive, drink so much he'd miss work, or drink so much he slept at work, lie to me about being drunk, drink so much it ruined our relationship. I have in the past had too many animals. For example I had chicks in our basement that made a HUGE mess and it took me a long time to clean it up...but I did. Before that I had a hobby fish breeding business and had a bunch of fish tanks in our basement. When the cost of the electricity was too much for us to handle I sold everything and took the fish room down. He tried to tell me back then that I was an animal hoarder even though all of my animals have always been well taken care of and always had appropriate vet care. That really hurt me as I love animals and would never do anything to hurt them.
I have tried to divorce him in the past but at the end of the day I don't want to break my family up. I want to be with my children and him but I can't do this by myself and I feel so fucking alone. There's so many details I'm leaving out here because I don't want this to get longer than it is but lately I've been thinking that maybe I am the asshole here...I dunno :(

I'm a new "DELVIERY DRIVER ASSOCIATE" at Sherwin Williams.
Recently management has started to attempt to get me to train for cash register amongst other duties that are not in the job description. Now I don't mind helping out the sales associates when I have no deliveries or backstore stuff going on. But I'm not doing their job and mine for $14 an hour. What can I do legally speaking?

• the official job title is "delivery driver associate" not hybrid.
  
• the job description says nothing about cash register duty but does say I have to answer customer questions, which I don't mind.
  
• I'm supposed to be doing a daily vehicle safety check form but my manager hasn't provided me with the paperwork or any help with that. He doesn't care if it's done or not.
  

I feel as though I am experiencing severe burnout, but I am looking for input from like minded peers...
I have worked for my current employer for the last 15 years. I started as an entry level Help Desk tech while I obtained my AAS in Networking, to now IS Manager with a BS. I have touched every piece of hardware and software in our company, and for every user (around 400). Workstations, printers, USB accessories, servers, SQL, Exchange, DC's and primary roles (DNS, DHCP, VPN, WDS, WSUS, Remote Desktop, Remote App, etc.) along with direct end user support for our proprietary records system. If it plugs in, I've been who everyone calls to fix it. My company is 24/7/365, with legal obligations for all systems to be fully operational at all times.
In my tenure, I have been mainly a lone admin. For the first few years I had an admin I worked with, however they were strong gatekeepers of their info/experience and left me hanging. As IS Manager, I've had a few staff but mainly they have done lower level tasks and not stayed onboard more than a year or so. I have an IS Director who I have become their strong right hand, as they aren't overly technically knowledgeable, and the relationship is trusting and autonomous; they know I know how to fix things and they let me do it.
BUT...
I've grown so tired of it. I'm tired of being the only staff that everyone relies on. I'm tired of having to suffer through the office environment. I sigh every time I pull into the parking lot. The feeling of pride I used to have in learning and accomplishing a task has turned into absolute dread anytime my inbox dings or the phone rings. I feel like I can't even do IT work because my focus is pulled a mile wide, but only an inch deep. I don't feel like I have the bandwidth for the things that are in my job description plus the tasks that I get dumped into. The only interest I have in doing a good job now is so that I don't have to deal with it again for the second or third time. I feel like I always bring a bad attitude home from work and it impacts my family, as well as my outlook on life and my own self worth. I suppose I'm considered an old school employee in that I believe in building a tenure and history with an employer, and in my heart I really want to provide my employer with excellent results. I just can't muster that up anymore. I have been told directly there are NO plans to hire any additional IT staff.
I have an interview scheduled with a local government employer to be their Tech Manager, meaning I would be over a larger pool of IT staff for guidance and administration of them as they support end users and troubleshoot IT issues, and my secondary task would be hardware inventory/planning/purchasing. The salary is comparable (slightly less than my current). The benefits sound slightly less as well (I REALLY want at least a hybrid WFH schedule). The selling point to me would be a drastic reduction in responsibility and scope of expectations...I'd finally break free of the years of mission creep.
My fear is leaving the only environment I've ever known, the environment I've had a hand and direct input in building from the bottom up. I don't have to think much about what server does what service, or where the spreadsheet of that particular info is saved to, or who in the company can answer what budget question for me. I'm scared that I'm leaving the green grass I've grown for a vacant position managing shitty tech's in a position meant to be a whipping boy. I have had other job offers (IT Director, Systems Admin, etc.) from other employers, but declined because I thought I'd be able to influence my current employer to change aspects of my duties....which never happened. There are NOT a lot of quality IT job prospects in my rural area, and I feel like my options are limited. Moving is not an option.
I feel I need advice on gaining the courage to finally leave, or ways to better utilize the environment I'm currently in....but I see them both as being 50/50. I look forward to your comments!

So for context: I’ve been at my company for nearly 3 years now. The company, A, is pretty big and somewhat regularly acquires other smaller companies and their software. Around a year ago our team randomly received meeting invites to “new hire onboarding” sessions for a much smaller company we had acquired, B. But the thing is the communication from leadership was basically non-existent as to what expectations are and what direction we were heading in.
This was literally the first we ever heard of it. My manager didn’t even know this was happening at the time or what company B was.
During these meetings it became clear very quickly that the people leading the onboarding session actually thought we were all brand new employees who needed to be trained on their technologies at company B. They were treating us like subordinates and asked us to all turn our cameras on, which none of us did because we never do and who the hell were these random people giving us orders like we’re new here? It was genuinely so strange.
Over the next months we began incepting new epics for integrating the two companies’ products, but it became even more clear very quickly that company B had a much “stronger” culture (more dominant personalities basically). They were joining our meetings and essentially telling us how to do our jobs and driving things with their standards. There was definitely some push back at first, but then the team got split up by leadership seemingly strategically to kinda put a wedge between those who were more standoffish about the changes. B also didn’t seem to understand that A was a much larger company essentially made up of a bunch of smaller companies, and that there was a really big dead-sea effect going on. There were no real code owners or domain experts for lots of our tech the way they had for their smaller pool of products. But leadership doesn’t really understand nuances like this and just expect that more resources = more production.
There are some really, really overbearing personalities from company B who now work with us regularly. I know I’m not the only one bothered because I’ve had coworkers reach out to me privately basically just to vent about all of this, which I totally agree with. Some of the things company B does are definitely better, but they seem to think they can do no wrong and will often argue about things passive aggressively. They also don’t realize that scaling up the way they did things at their smaller company doesn’t really work by just forcing people into roles they were never hired for.
This whole thing somehow very quickly went from a “let’s integrate these two products” to an entire engineering culture shift. Leaders have been let go and also resigned, our managers and even our manager’s managers are seemingly as lost as we are. One of our senior architects literally said in a meeting to us privately “I really have no clue what they’re expecting from us for this.” a few weeks ago. B has imposed their culture from a much smaller company onto the dozens of other dev teams now somehow. Now all of a sudden cameras on is a soft requirement in meetings, but there’s a pretty clear divide between those who don’t bother to follow this rule and those who originally worked for company B. Our SDLC has also completely changed. The high up leaders speak about this as if it’s “so much more agile and efficient”, but really it’s feeling incredibly forced and driven by a small minority of engineers.
The biggest problem is that I find myself kinda just totally caught in the middle. There seems to be this expectation from B that I and the other members of A are experts on all products from the A side of things, which is so far from reality. There is so little documentation and testing in place, and lots of our previous efforts had been towards just kinda cleaning up the mess others had left behind. A is a huge company with lots of individual products. I was already struggling to stay up to speed with all of those, and now I also have to be an expert in B’s side of things as well and how to tie them all together. It’s like, if any of this was discussed with anyone actually working on the software it would be really apparent how big of an issue it is, but that has been completely ignored because the culture shift was a “success” for leadership despite things moving at a snail’s pace now. They just see all these big changes and fancy presentations and are expecting revenue to follow, but it hasn’t so far. I was already kinda one foot out the door before all of this, but now I’m really feeling undervalued, underutilized, and under-appreciated. I barely get any real work done because every week I’m having to get up to speed on a new thing, which feels way above my pay grade tbh. It has been super demotivating, which has unfortunately been a theme throughout my career so far. I know the job is meant to be about problem solving, but I’d also love just a tiny bit of stability.

so right now, i’m out of work and have been since i lost my job late last year. i have a boyfriend who i love and 2 friends who i see sometimes, im terrible at replying and i feel awful for this but for some reason, being in constant conversation with someone, even over text just drains me.
it was honestly actually a relief in a way when i lost my job, every single day i would constantly be obsessing over small interactions with coworkers, the smallest thing makes me so angry, if i feel disrespected or not listened to, it invokes a rage into me that i know i absolutely cannot show at work. i am completely unable to be ‘diplomatic’, i will let resentment build until i can’t take it any longer and fly off the handle, using anger as a way to voice how i feel. i feel i literally cannot explain to someone that they’ve upset me, unless im angry. of course, this is very unhealthy and has led to a lot of situations where im the one having to apologise for my reaction, rather than addressing why they upset me in the first place. this behaviour haunts almost every relationship i have. the ones id doesn’t impact, are the friends which i make sure i don’t get too close to, in order for this behaviour to not ruin our friendship.
i am thinking of doing some voluntary work one day a week so im getting out my apartment more, but honestly the thought of being around a group of people, even just 1 day a week, fills me with dread and anxiety. its the same thing every time, i start a job, its the best job ever and everyone and everything is perfect to begin with, then a few months down the line, i become paranoid, i find out someone has said x about me behind my back, now i absolutely hate them, they’re a horrible person and no one can convince me otherwise. at every job i look back on, and this may sounds really silly, but it actually feels like i’ve been through some kind of social trauma due to the way i obsess, hyperfixate and catastrophize every slight miscommunication, every comment, every look. i sit in my room for hours thinking and obsessing, sometimes sending me into panic attacks about the way people are treating/perceiving me. i start getting suicidal thoughts, feel as though everything is fcked, i am fcked, my whole life is fcked forever. it is honestly draining. i actually amaze myself at how much i drain my own energy literally just by *thinking.
i’m in a trauma based therapy right now for sexual abuse i went through during my teens by my step father. i hope it helps because honestly i don’t know how much longer i can take living like this. isolation is comfortable, yet so lonely. i tell myself i would like to be alone, yet every time i am left alone in my apartment for a few days, i turn to drink, drugs and self harming because i feel so lonely. i thought i loved being on my own, so why do i always feel like this when im on my own? i feel like every single emotion and feeling i feel, conflicts another. if im around people, i can’t handle it. if im on my own, i also can’t handle it.
i dont want to be this way. i want to do things with my life, i wanted a career and i want healthy relationships yet, it all seems so out of reach. every social interaction feels like the mental equivalent of someone poking at an infected wound, whether it’s a genuine interaction or not. my brain will always tells me its negative, that people are out to get me, that people are conspiring against me, using me, that they hate me, they are repulsed and disgusted by me and i feel such deep, deep shame about myself.
sometimes, i look back on the times before the trauma during my teens happened. and i am so envious of the little girl i was, who trusted so willingly, who loved so freely, so openly, without fear of consequence. the girl who wasn’t constantly ashamed, angry, frightened and paranoid. i wish i could go back and tell her how lucky she is.
sorry for the rant. i am so tired of feeling this way and if anyone else feels the same, i hope soon enough we can find a way to work through these dreadful feelings and soon become people that will make that little girl/boy inside of us proud. and thank you for taking the time to read my rant :)

Hello all, I wanted to ask if there is anyone here who recently got an invitation for getting their Einbürgerungsurkunde in Munich?
I have received the Zusicherung about a year ago, but waited for the dual citizenship law. As Bavaria is already applying the new law, I was informed that I do not need to leave my current citizenship and just need to share the document showing the change of job, martial status etc. I have sent these documents a month ago, but did not receive any letter yet. 6 months ago two of my friends received the letter with 1-2 weeks, but they might be busier these days due to the new law.
I know I should just wait, but my old passport and together with it my unlimited residence permit are expiring soon, therefore it is kind of critical for me.
It would be very kind if someone can share if they experienced the same recently. Thanks in advance.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since the end of last semester. I thought I knew who I was and what I needed to do in order to make sure I was leading a fulfilling life for myself. But I’m just so confused now.
I thought that studying Psychology would be the best choice for my path in post secondary. To keep in brief, after graduating high school, two very close loved ones passed away one after another. I started university at Queens, then went to film school, and now I’m here. I already feel super behind my peers because of this, and I continually try to remind myself that it’s not a race, but it just feels like I’m not where I’m supposed to be. For my entire life, I thought I was going to go into the arts. The only thing that has stayed relatively consistent in my life is my love for songwriting and poetry. But the idea of working inside a world of careers that lack security makes me want to throw up.
When I started at UTSC I decided I was going to get a degree in creative writing, but after having a pretty shitty experience in ENGA03 I decided I wanted to study psychology. But right now I am in an English major with a psychology and women and genders studies minor. I remember my family being so proud when they found out I wanted to get a masters in psychology, and that pride rings through my head everytime I think of this topic.
I thought psychology would be the right choice because it would separate the things I love from my work. And provide me with much needed security. As time has went on I’ve sort of come to the realization that i have almost no motivation to do well in my psychology courses.
And it’s not that I’m not understanding the material - it’s that I’m genuinely not studying. I have no motivation to attend any of the lectures for any of my psychology classes. And for the majority of my semesters so far I’ve been taking mainly psychology courses. But last semester I decided to take a couple of English courses as well (as I didn’t get the grades required for a specialist in psychology, but for a major). Being forced to minor in English was such an eye opener the past few months.
So last semester i ended up going to every single one of my English classes. I got a 90 in one and an 80 in another. My gpa is so thankful as I’ve only been pulling 60s so far.
My grades in psychology wouldn’t even allow me to get a masters where I’m at. But the idea of going into English and creative writing terrifies me. What if there are no jobs?
One thing I feel is important to mention is I’m autistic. This is so fundamental in my identity, and the idea of working a job without security scares me.
I feel as though I may just be wildly uneducated on the types of careers in that industry. Im hoping maybe someone will have more insight.
I imagine how beautiful my life would be if I pursued a career in writing creatively but the fear of the instability rings in my head.
In order for me to even major in psychology I’d have to take high school biology and math (as I never took these in my final year due to me thinking I’d pursue a career in the arts). I’ve signed up for these courses and they expire in August. But I’ve not started either one of them. I just can’t seem to muster up enough motivation to do them.
But this just makes me even more depressed and feeling like I am just lazy. But those few English courses have really given me an eye opener.
I really am so grateful if you’ve read this far. If you have any advice I’m happy to hear it. I’m feeling really lost so I’m sure anything would help.

My landlord, who just came into possession of our building, has kept our entire security deposit for things like "fingerprints visible on doorhandles". We left the apartment in better condition than we found it, quite frankly...(When we first moved in the building was owned and managed by an elderly man who had never cleaned the place between tenants. We spent over 10 hours cleaning to a livable standard when we moved in)
I told my landlord we believe it is inappropriate to keep our deposit for cleaning (totalling $600) when we deep cleaned to her specifications before moving out. After unsuccessfully bluffing that she had photo evidence of damages (and backtracking when i asked for the photos to compare to my own documentation) her response was "tell me what you feel you deserve to get back from your deposit, but I still want to be paid for cleaning".
I am waiting to get a consultation with an attorney because I am not equipped to handle this level of crazy myself. Luckily I get free legal services through my job but it may be a week or two before I can see the attorney and I don't want to respond to my landlords question until I have legal advice. Should I just not respond at all or should I explain that I will get back to her once I have legal guidance? I don't want to cause more tension or sound as if I am threatening her by mentioning legal guidance but I don't know if it's weird to just say "I'll get back to you with an answer soon" without giving a good reason for not responding immediately.
Any suggestions regarding the above?

I’m constantly worried and stress about navigating life, especially when it comes to financing everything. Just turned 28, got legally married but even though I’ve been adulting for the last decade, I’m feeling uncertain about making moves for the next part of life. Will I be able to get through this? Can we afford to do things like have kids or buy a house? For the first time in my life, we are going to be renting our own place with no roommates which is something I’ve dreamed of for so long as an introvert and homebody. I’ve been second guessing my decision because of the opinions of family as they think we should be saving money for a house. Am i starting my married life in a bad position already? I would love to find a better paying job and all that jazz but it’s just not plausible at this moment, I have to think about it when I’m not spiraling. I don’t know what the right decision was supposed to be. I don’t know if my selfish desires will end up hurting our needs for the future. I’m scared and worried and I just hope everything is okay in the end.

Sorry for the long post but I need to vent and no one in my life cares enough to listen. I M(23) on paper should be having a great life. I grew up middle class, never missed a meal, was a competitive swimmer (those who swam know it’s an expensive sport), went on vacations and had all my needs taken care of. I graduated college and have very manageable student loans; I work a decent paying job, with great benefits, where I can save a lot for my future because I live at home, I’ve had trouble with my parents in the past, but we have worked through our issues, so it hasn’t been awful. From the outside I have the stereotypical middle-class upbringing, I am very thankful that my parents have provided me with everything and on paper I should be thriving, I work out daily, eat healthy and take my dog on a walk, but I am fucking miserable.
I’ve had depression since I was about 16 and it’s been on/off, in high school it was bad but high school just sucks anyway. When I went to college, I thought things would be different, but I was wrong. I had a good time in college and made good memories, but I was a shell of my former self by the end. I would do anything to help others not feel how I was feeling, which lead to everyone saying they “would do anything for me” or that they “loved” me, it was all a bunch of bullshit, no one cared about be, no one was worried when I would go quiet or not show up to gatherings. My coaches didn’t care either, they belittled me daily, told me I wasn’t good enough or that I need to be more like the better people on the team, they gave up on me when I needed help. I spent months in therapy talking through my problems because of them, a coach who breaks you down to nothing can really mess you up. I quit mid-season of my junior year because I couldn’t take it anymore, I was horribly depressed, I resented everything and everyone. All through high school I was told that I wasn’t good enough, all through college I was told I wasn’t good enough and it brought me to tears daily, who the fuck tells a young kid that they aren’t good enough to succeed????
I thought graduating college would make my life a bit better but boy was I wrong. I got a starter job out of school for a decent company but they never gave me work and the pay was shit, I got told I was doing most things wrong but “they just loved having me”. This job really starting hitting me hard because I was stuck in an office with no windows and couldn’t really go outside and the work was depressing. My depression has been prevalent since my senior year since I lived in a shitty situation with roommates. I was breaking down and couldn’t stop, therapy wasn’t helping, my parents had no idea what was going on and my friends just ignore me when I’m low. For some background my romantical life doesn’t exist, whatever it is women want I just don’t have, I’ve been ghosted countless time and have been told that I’m not a catch. My friends however love telling me about all the women they have been on dates with or had sex with, then they always make fun of my inability to talk to women. I am saying this because I was doing ok for a while and trying to work on myself and manage the job trying to make it better, but I made a stupid choice (yes I know it was my fault and I have no one to blame but myself) and got sexually extorted. Just my luck that the one person who feigned interest in me was just extorting me for money. I lost a good amount over it and was ready to off myself because I couldn’t stop thinking why the fuck did this happen to me, of all people why me? What deity did I piss off so much that they decided to fuck with me like that. They eventually released my pictures but thankfully no one has said anything to me and that was months ago.
Since that incident I have been living in a fugue state where I am so disconnected from reality that I have no idea what is wrong with me. The last time I was truly happy was when I got my dog and he is the only thing that makes me smile anymore, I have no joy or passions, nothing excites me. I’m irritable all the time and just not a joy to be around. I’m constantly told how much money my friends make and how much sex they have and that they have better jobs and how my degree is useless (marketing). I don’t fit in anywhere and my new job is ok, but I have zero work and don’t fit in. I feel useless and feel like I am constantly making the wrong decisions, because I am being told how successful my friends will be compared to myself. Even my therapist ghosted me, and I haven’t been to another one because I don’t have the energy to set up the appointments, I feel like the end of the road is coming quick and am losing hope for anything getting better. I mean who wants a below average looking guy with no hobbies or passions working a middle of the road job? I try doing yoga and meditation daily, but things aren’t getting better, everything that I have dealt with is compounding into one big issue and I just don’t have the strength to fight anymore.
Sorry for the long post but venting helped a bit. TLDR I am miserable and things aren’t looking better.

Tried to watch their newest sesh episode and they spent nearly 10 minutes of just chit chatting before going into their topics. The first 10 minutes was just Kendall shitting on Jimmy Kimmel. Then calling him stupid and “Jimmy dog kibble”. I don’t care for talk show hosts and I know many have opinions of both Kimmel and Fallon, whatever. Still, what a negative tone to set right as you start a podcast. I’ll also can’t stress enough how annoying it is that they’re STILL reacting to video clips on a PODCAST. I can’t see what they’re reacting to when I’m driving, and I can hardly hear what’s going on between the video clip playing and then talking over one another trying to react to these clips. I don’t understand why they’re choosing The Sesh to be a pop culture podcast when they don’t put in the time and effort to research their topics (their second newest episode with the Drake and Kendrick drama with little to no research) and one of their cohost not caring about anything Hollywood. All Janelle does is shit on The Office, Taylor Swift, not knowing what Adam Sandler looks like, etc. If that’s what you’re basing you’re podcast off of, you need to put in the work and interest, otherwise, what’s the point? Anytime they react to anything, they’ll always make an exaggerated frustrated face and say “that’s so stupid” or taste testing and reacting to food that they hate, giving the most obnoxious reaction, “Ugh EW that’s disgusting! You like that? How can you like that?” and will drag it on and on for 5-10 minutes. At this point, just get rid of the whole podcast. I’ve lost count as to how many times Kendall will end the podcast with cutting it off and saying she needs to get back to her daughter and take care of her. There’s nothing wrong with being a mom and wanting to be with Holly, but my god, not the way to end the podcast. Making it seem like doing this podcast is such an inconvenience to her and making her being a mother her whole personality. Constantly saying how she has difficulty with Holly with certain things, but both Josh and Kendall have the luxury to hire a nanny. Also, side note, it’s actually crazy how often Kendall has posted pictures of just Holly on her Instagram reels and feed. Even some celebrities know better and will at least only show the back of their child’s head or have an emoji covering their face. Having the job that they do, you’d think they would do better to protect their child’s identity. Too many pedos out there and AI becoming a problem as well. They also go on multiple vacations in a year. They have all these people surrounding them for support whether it’s work or personal, they have their hands mostly free and can’t even pre record when they know they’ll be on vacation. Unfortunately, with more people on their team, it means more responsibilities and theoretically should make work easier for them, but quality has gone down so much within the past year and a half or so. All of their content/podcasts no longer feels like them anymore.

I really just need to talk about my present situation; I just turned 26, and my soon-to-be ex-husband and I met four years ago while active duty in the military, and I recently chose to end our relationship. I own a home and will be putting it on the market next week, essentially starting again in my life, because my only alternative is to move back in with my parents, which feels like a tremendous step down.
I am particularly interested in mental health and self-healing, as well as generational trauma. My "husband" is absolutely not and can be rather sexist at times. He believes he has no faults, & due to a lack of empathy and communication in our relationship, I felt like a mother to a man child rather than an equal.
His main goal is to become the next big millionaire, constantly seeking for the next best business idea since he feels that individuals who shop at the Dollar General are losers and that working a traditional 9-5 job makes you a "slave" to the government. These last four years have been difficult because he has pursued multiple business ideas without informing me of any of them, some of which required him to take out random loans as "collateral" so that if anything happened to him, it would all fall on me, and 99% of the time he does not even talk to me about his business and financial activities.
I'm assuming he only wanted me in his life as a "asset"; our relationship was wonderful only when I cooked, cleaned, and kept my mouth shut as if we were living in the 1950s. When I started talking about some of the things he does/did that I didn’t necessarily agree with, he would/will turn it all around on me, insulting me and honestly telling me that I will never succeed in life.
I can't help but be sad about this situation; we still live together, so his moods have been really up and down with me; one second he is loving and caring, and the next he is back to trying to bring me down, saying I'll be alone for the rest of my life because I'm just a "mentally ill typical female" and that asking for reassurance and communication in a relationship will be the downfall of the next person I'm with, and he can't wait to watch me suffer as a result.
I know I'm making the right decision by ending this relationship, but there's still a part of me that believes what he says and has been telling me for the past few years. I'm feeling quite alone and disappointed right now, and I know that when I return to my parents home in a few days, everything will hit me harder and have a stronger psychological impact. I have had suicidal thoughts in the past because life is stressful, and I do not want to go down that route again.
I also feel like I'm a shell of the person I used to be, and I really need any inspirational words or stories about how everything will eventually work out and things will get better.

Pretty much title but kind of a rant too. I noticed with the recent pass, pugging ivory and akkan hm are even bigger chores than they were previously. Too much competition or maybe too little supports which make everyone extra picky? Is there any way i can improve my pug experience as a 154 roster lvl player with los18? Does hell title do anything? Most my 1580+ have multiple lvl 9 dmg gem and some have 1 lvl 10 dmg, 2% demon dmg, 1800 or close mainstat. Already got my sp from horizontal. I only join parties that are around my ilvl/strengh to make the raids more interesting competing for dmg (and also since you dont get much say in the matter anyways when gatekept in 199/200 lobbies). Whenever im bored enough to check who got in instead, i see worse gems, +/- 5 ilvl and as is the case 99.9% of the time, 250+ roster and los30 which is all these pugs care about since to them roster level = skill.
I mean i understand 150 ish roster with los18 is seen as 'high risk might jail' but i have already done all towers but powerpassed my other 9 characters with 3600 hours in the game and still treated like someone who installed yesterday. I didnt want to do story for roster lvl because the only reason i havent burnt out so far is by skipping most of the boring content besides maybe a few chaos dungeons per week. I have managed to clear theamine 1-3 weekly alive till the end with 14-16m dps 1611 no elixir los18 in g3 only due to my friend pulling the "can i bring friend" card (they are 200+ rlvl los30). Otherwise i end clearing theamine g3 in legit 14 mins but spending 30x more time in g0 if none of my friends happen to be online or there is no activity in lfg discords. Just end up alt f4ing and playing helldivers/stellar blade since pugging the higher content with majority veterans is too much of a chore when 99% of them gatekeep you purely due to roster lvl/cards. You really dont want to come back from a long day of lectures/classes + part time job to ur 2hr free time just to waste it on nothing. This is really affecting my enjoyment of the game because i have always really enjoyed the combat and hated everything else. I would still be only playing pvp and ignore pve if it was still alive cause it was too much fun and was equalized with no gatekeep. I would have los30 already if there was less rng or if i could trade 5 legendaries for an Los card that i actually need. I am actually 22 selector and much closer to klc30 than los30 which is just dumb.
To me this little info on profile seems like something to protect whales maybe, since if u had something like logs in-game or something like opgg from league you could just check how good they are instead of having to rely on something as worthless as roster lvl and cards. If you could see that this full lvl10 200+ roster 6% demon dmg los30 deals less than some roster 150 or that he keep dying on repeat in raids, then you wouldn't take him and that very good customer may just spend a lot less in the game. It just sucks that i am 100% confident in my class and skill, but it still doesnt matter since the game profile doesnt show actual performance in raids. The only fast lobbies in 1600+ are on my support. Im just curious for any advice/other peoples experience because i would prefer not to quit this game and continue playing casually. The sad part about all this is the best pve lobbies ive been in that dealt great dmg were the least gatekeepy and accepted me in 20-30 seconds, with a large amount of them usually having hell titles. The ones that my friends sometimes drags me into that are the type to gatekeep 5-6% demon dmg were below average and dealt less dmg with much more gear (40 set). Anyways, it sucks that the majority of pugs just are too insecure to let me in when they see that roster lvl on my profile despite everything else being good. Also creating own party doesnt work, ive been there already multiple times and no one wants to join you, let alone a support when they could join the 200+ rosters instead.

Ok, love is not the right word, I just wanted to stick with the spirit of the Sellers inspired title. Here's the timeline, sordid details following:
5/8-5/24/23 - Job offered, finger printed, E-qip done, soft credit pull, no interim 7/?/23 - Interview scheduled with investigator, this was probably mid month, my in-laws were in town 8/14/23 - follow up interview w/ the same investigator, by video 10/20/23 - received LOI for things previously discussed with investigator - immediately retained safetyblitz44 4/24/2024 - finally turned in all documentation required by LOI
I waited 3 weeks to contact the FSO from the hiring company. I received a call back from the program manager pretty fast - they profusely apologized that I should have been notified 11 months ago that they were on a hiring freeze and could no longer offer me the position.
I let them know that this was OK and understandable - BUT, that I had still been in contact with DCSA, had an interview, LOI, etc. and that regardless my case should reflect that. They asked me to send my resume and told me they'd call back.
Not even 2 hours later, they call and let me know that YES I have been adjudicated favorably BUT that's when the company dropped my case. I will remain in this status for about 6 months total, during which time I need to find a job to activate me. This is not the end of the world, the PM referred me to a sub and I'm interviewing next week and I am reaching out to my network - someone is going to pick up a software engineer ready to be cleared, that's probably a non issue. I'm very lucky to find myself in this position at all.
Long version...
I was unemployed from late 2021 to early 2023 when I finally bit the bullet and went back to cleared work. I'm a software engineer and I've been cleared before, I didn't think it would be a huge deal, but I was wrong.
I have filled out the SF-86 a lot, I'm in my 40s and it started in the army in 1999. I have had cleared roles without much issue but I never really had red flags either.
This time I had some IRS issues and I checked "yes" to the having used drugs box. It was weed and I had stopped during the pandemic - it was a social thing and the pandemic sucked all of those aspects right out of it. Sharing seemed to make sense til then and I was never one to sit around getting high alone so it naturally tapered off more than a conscious effort to quit. But, I have no intention of doing it again, so giddyup.
When I met with the investigator for an interview it became clear why I hadn't gotten an interim this time but not why it never came up before. They asked me about "an arrest in March 1997" and all I could say was "HOLY SHIT, THAT'S ON THERE?!"
Now, having re-read the SF-86 a ton, I still can't quite figure out where I would have listed this other than at the end because all of the arrest questions from rev 2016 are "past 7 years" but, some way, somehow I will list this in the future because this was 26 years prior when i was 15.
When I was 15 I was at a bus stop by the school in my city when a friend drove by and stopped - a bunch of us got in. I was sitting shotgun and saw the vehicle we had just entered had no ignition and realized it was stolen and we were all going to get arrested, which we did. No charges, none of us stole a car, including the driver - she was riding in a second hand hot car - we were just in the thing. It was teenage stupidity all the way down. I never thought of it again other than as a hilarious anecdote because we were arrested and released to our parents and that was the end of it til that interview! LOL!
The investigator told me in no uncertain terms that this was why i needed an interview. They said they would have never had to do it otherwise. But, I'm still not sure where I would have listed it or what would have made me think of it. They showed me the FBI report that just said it was an arrest assumed felony. There's an EVER question about being charged with a felony but I was not charged. That was no issue after I explained it and I assume the FBI finally followed up with the rest of their report.
Otherwise we just talked about the stint with MJ use, long over, my IRS issues, and I brought up a bench warrant that I had in another state but explained there was really nowhere on the form to list it and that it was for an unpaid ticket from the year 2000 (misdemeanor) with no statute of limitations. I had only found out about it right before the pandemic, it became a low priority real fast. Same with the IRS stuff. I had stopped filing for a bunch of years just because I couldn't afford the 1099 I had been on one year. When you don't file once it's easy to keep not filing! But, in 2021, before the layoffs, I had hired an accountant to help me get it all straightened out. I just needed to file the missed year but I wasn't sure if that was the right move or not. I owed but I was broke and dealing with layoffs plus the IRS hadn't said anything - it's only human to hope they never do! LOL. I never did find any real sources to corroborate a time limit on failing to file, though, so I didn't really want to push that envelope.
When I got the LOI it was only for the 2 tax years I hadn't filed and the bench warrant. Just the words "bench warrant" told me I should get a lawyer and I did. Getting those tax returns processed and getting the warrant lifted took 7 months. Each time a deadline came up from DCSA I submitted everything I had - screenshots, correspondence w/ the attorney working on my bench warrant and the state the case was in - and each time they extended me further.
I ended up needing 2 lawyers - I initially hired the user mentioned above and they found someone who was bar'd in the state I needed. The bench warrant was for an unpaid parking ticket (that I could swear on a stack of bibles was paid at the time, but I can't prove that, so). It took several months to get proof. Same with the IRS stuff. I sent a large payment on the 2nd of January and it took til April to fully reflect on my account. It was excruciating. If you owe taxes and it's a one off, do yourself a favor and call the people who can waive the penalties. I was able to make reasonable payment arrangements online and THEN get 1/3 of my bill cut.
Mainly the lawyer made sure my "final" packet - the one I turned in for the first due date with all of my statements - was clear and correct and would reflect the steps I was taking. Wording on the LOI response is crucial to success along with proof - they will help make sure you are addressing the issues as requested by the LOI without overthinking it. I'm not a terrible writer but that isn't exactly the point. Once I hit that juncture I really wanted to be as sure as I could be that I was doing the right things. They can also help you put your case in perspective - they have experience with weirder or worse than yours. Plus, if you found them on reddit you can respond to them in gifs and memes and know they'll get it. All told for 7 months of counsel, an entire additional lawyer, and including all fees from that process, this cost $2500 and my retainer remainder was refunded as soon as we closed. No hearings or court time necessary, everything was remote and asynchronous.
One of the best parts of this outcome is how great it feels to know I'm truly "squeaky clean" again. It doesn't take too long, depending, I guess. If you look at my account you'll see one of the last weed plants I grew in 2015. Cultivation is one of those "in the past 7 years" questions and I was in year 8 which I may always get a silly kick out of. I did let the investigator know as it was relevant to some other info - but, I'm a horticulturalist at heart, which is also fully reflected in my hobbies. I have no desire or need to grow weed again but it's a thing I have done and have experience with which is nothing to be ashamed of.
Be honest - with yourself AND investigators. Don't be too squeaky of a wheel when it's taking a long time - sometimes that's a really happy accident. Get another job while you wait or keep your current one. File those late taxes now, not later. Old warrants for misdemeanors are cheaper than you think. Sometimes stuff really does come up that you had no reason to list but it isn't necessarily the end of the world.
Oh, and I've been naked on the internet and no one cared.

Good job, matches my skill set, pays well and the commute is an easy one. Yet, I'm in this mode which is probably going to get me fired.
A bit of background. I am good at my job and done very well last year. This year has been a bit different, almost a victim of my own success. I got so much done last year that this year is a bit harder as there is not much to improve on.
The tasks I need to do have all these annoying caveats, or are data is shit so doing something that should take 5 minutes takes hours. This, in addition to be stretched and almost zero social interaction at work (I'm not in a team and everyone else is the wider business development team just has their head down and works all day, even at lunch) has made so I'm just bored out of my skull.
Thing is, this happens with almost every job I have. Give it a year or two and I just can't be bothered.

I've always had some levels of anxiety/depression, partly from not being diagnosed ADHD till I was an adult, but even when I got to a better place mentally I started having health problems one after another. I have some OCD-like symptoms and might have PMDD on top of everything else (getting assessed soon). The health stuff has caused me to become so anxious and depressed that my physical health is affected.
I read something recently that my anxiety is from needing to be in control, and being obsessed with being comfortable that I need to work on giving up my need for control and trust in God. But I am struggling with that because I simply don't have the same mental capacity as other people because of my conditions. I HAVE to put in constant thought and work to control my symptoms, or arranging appointments/treatments for the physical health issues, which requires to me to constantly thinking about being in control. (For example, one of my OCD-like tendencies is obsessively repeating something that I've already done because my ADHD constantly makes me eff things up and forget things, so I already know in advance I need to double check everything I do.) If I don't, I will lose my job and livelihood and ruin my relationships. And the bible also tells us to make plans for the future and try to be wise. So that requires a level of controlling things...
The simple answer feels like I should just remove extra stress from my life to be able to calm down... but even the simplest parts of life like going to work or school ARE the huge stressors for me. I have to work 5x harder than others because my ADHD makes me so much slower to get work done, and and I can't turn off my hormones to stop PMDD. So how can I give up control to God and just trust when we are also called to take action and I have so many issues that I have to manage??

Hi everyone! If you took the time to interact with my last post on this subreddit, thank you son much. I received so much encouragement and useful advice, so I am so glad to say that I have received a job offer after 5 long months, over 50 applications, and multiple in person interviews with various institution!!! I know so many others who seek advice and comfort here have been searching longer and harder, and so I want to send my encouragement to them. Keep pushing, you’re almost at the top of the hill!!
But on to my question, which is quite simple, but what is the best way to let an employer I’ve already had my final round with know that I’ve received another job offer but am still interested in seeing where I stand with them? Due to the nature of the industry I’m in, hiring processes can not be manipulated or sped up in the same ways due to certain regulations, so I feel as if I have to handle this with a certain level of tact, and I really want to make sure I get it right! The job offer I have needs an answer by Monday, but I have tried to leave the possibility of an extension on the table. Any advice or guidance? Or maybe a good format to get my thoughts in order that I could edit and personalize?
Thank you all so much!
TLDR; Got a job offer that needs an answer by Monday, how do I communicate with another employer Im still interested in that I need an answer?

I had the laparoscopic mesh surgery a few years ago to fix a rectal prolapse and within a year I felt the symptoms return and within 3 im essentially where I was before I even had the surgery. My rectum prolapses out of me when I sit on the toilet and go to the bathroom and it’s worse day by day, to the point where it’s becoming difficult to fully evacuate again. I had a phone appointment with the dr who did my surgery and he essentially told me all I can do is physio.
I am happy to go do some physio, I’m working on getting that set up now, however I believe the prolapse is back at the stage it was before I had surgery which was bad enough that only surgery would fix, so I worry physio won’t fully fix it. I plan on trying regardless, however another concern I have is that if I have prolapsed again, does this mean the mesh inside of me has moved? I have heard horror stories and I really really worry about where this mesh even is inside of me right now if it’s not doing its job. I had an MRI and all it said (in terms of the mesh) was “mesh is not visiualized at this time and therefore cannot be fully assessed.”
Is this mesh okay to just be sitting inside me, essentially holding nothing? Do I need to worry that it’s going to erode or move? Can someone who’s had this surgery before please reach out I’m really concerned and it’s such a hard thing to talk about already never mind when my doctor is being dismissive to me. I’m ashamed to push for further investigation, especially until I’ve done physio, however I’m really worried about it.
Edit: also just need to add that if anything I will get this mesh out of me and opt to just live like this if that’s my option, I will not go through that same surgery again ever in my life it was awful. I truly am exactly where I was pre surgery so it was all for nothing and I feel like I would be prolapsing just as bad without the mesh as I am with the mesh. I know this because I WAS prolapsing this bad before the mesh. So basically I just now live with a random foreign object loose inside of me and went through t mosf painful procedure I’ve ever been through all for nothing. I will never choose this again, if I need any surgery for this I only want to have it removed, not adjusted.