What to put on invitation to dinner theater

The dark sky loomed over the horizon, as day became night. Smokes stopped churning from the busy factories, revealing the beauty of the stars. Lights started to flicker; their shine mirrored the sight above.
And yet, tranquillity never came. Horse-drawn carriages and trams still strolled upon the hectic boulevards in the great metropolis of Amberton. A city in a constant.

Still, in such hubbub, a young human boy found his solace. A young, naughty boy who defied his parents’ orders to do his homework. Instead, he read the stories of his favourite adventuring party as illustrated in the new edition of ‘Adventurers Weekly’.
Alone, in his room.

Lying on his bed, the child imagined the events as though he was there to witness. Slowly flipping away, page by page. He thought to himself, “Just one more page!”.
Despite the open book on his desk, he was too entranced by the exploits of his idols. Too entranced to notice the clatter outdoors.
Outside the small building, footsteps can be heard. A person, clad in black naught their eyes, was scaling the brown brick wall. Unnoticed by a living soul.
As they reached the window of the young, naughty boy, their paces abruptly stopped. After a few, light taps from the heel, they stomped. With a leap, they trespassed a private property.

The boy was surprised by the improvised acrobatic show. Reflexively, he recoiled and backed himself to the wall. In the process, his journal was thrown off the mattress.
With his vision subjected to the masked intruder, his heartbeats hurried. His breaths were erratic. Cold sweat dripped from his tanned skin.
Yet, he did not scream. As if being visited by a nightmare in a sleep paralysis, the boy was stunned.
He was fearful.
Afraid.

The intruder stood up and then turned to the child in front of them. With a deep voice, they spoke in an oddly calm manner.
“Hello there, boy.”

The boy did not answer. His voice was shackled by dread.

The intruder saw the journal lying on the floor. They then spoke once again,
“Seems like you’re quite fond of legends and adventures, aren’t you?”
“How about one last story about the fall of Rydyan, the elvish king?”

The boy was still locked in fear, keeping his silence. Tears can be seen forming in his eyes.
Step by step, the intruder approached the bed.

“Well, it’s a classic.” They regaled.
“King Rydyan received a prophecy that his granddaughter shall overthrow his rule. Wanting to prevent that from happening, he ordered his granddaughter to be thrown away.”
“We all know what happened next. The granddaughter learned of her heritage, and she grew up to resent the king. After she gained support from the people, Rydyan was overthrown.”

The boy stared in silence. He was backed into a corner, helpless.
His tan face paled; his body trembled. Tears rained down on his cheeks.

The intruder paused, as they slowly breathed. The reflections of their eyes became wavy, damming the sense of guilt. They tried to maintain composure, but slight trembles still escaped as they spoke yet again.
“You see, young lad. My end was written in the prophecies, with you as the bearer. And I will not make the same mistakes as others did.”

Their right hand reached for their hip, revealing a revolver. The boy wanted to yell, but his mouth was locked, bound by fright. He could only close his eyes.
His story would be a short one.
Then…

a thud.

Unexpectedly, the intruder instead lightly threw the gun at the boy. They then removed their mask, revealing the face of a pale human man. The boy’s eyes widened, for it was the face of his idol.
Julius Joules, the gunslinger of the adventuring party shown in the journal.

The man knelt. “This is no way to meet a fan, I know that.” He said as he gazed at the floor. A single tear raced down through his cheek.
“But I’m sorry, lad. Prophecy is prophecy, and I don’t want us to have a lifelong, bloody feud. So, let us just end this right here, right now, shall we?”

The boy was overwhelmed with emotions. A single drop of joy was there, as he saw his hero in person for the first time. Yet, it was overshadowed by the flood of confusion from the strange turn of events. Outshined by the tides of frustration from the unjustness of the world. Combined, they breached the walls of fear.
As the boy was no longer fettered by silence, a shout bolted from his throat.
“I don’t want to hurt you! Why do I even have to do this? You’re my hero!”

“Again, prophecy is prophecy. Run from it, and it’ll catch up anyway.” Said the adventurer, in an attempt to calm the boy and himself.
“And I can’t even try to deny this one, especially when it comes from the seers of the Ezthos Oracle.”

“NO! I don’t care if some old man from a bunch of stupid islands said that I have to hurt you, I won’t do it!” The boy protested. Stubborn.

Julius sighed, “Don’t worry, it won’t hurt me that much. Just follow my lead and it’ll be quick and painless, alright?” He held the boy’s hand and placed his gun in it. The boy pushed Julius away, adamantly rejecting the idea.

Outside, the commotion had not gone unnoticed. Rapid thumps can be heard approaching the room. As they stopped, the door was slammed wide open. A loud smack echoed through the room, marking the entrance of a middle-aged couple; interrupted the conversation between their child and his hero.
“Samar! Are you alright? What the hell is going on in here?” The mother shouted; a knife held high with her right hand.
As they were about to lunge at the trespasser, a shred of recognition flew, “Is… is that… Julius Joules?”

“Yes, it is me, in the flesh. You’ve come at an unfortunate time I’m afraid.”

“Is… Is that a GUN?” His father, holding a shovel, saw the object in Samar’s vicinity.
As the realisation came over them, they panicked. Yet, they did not lunge. They would not take chances like that, not against the famed adventurer.
The father dropped his shovel. “Please, PLEASE! I beg of you! Don’t hurt him! He’s just an innocent young boy! He’s the only one that we have!” He pleaded.
“I’ll give you anything! ANYTHING! Take our money, silverware, spices, just not our son’s life!”

“Don’t worry, I’m not here to hurt your son. And neither I yearn for your wealth. I’m here because of a prophecy.” Explained the adventurer.
“The wise seers of Ezthos Oracle declared that your son shall be the bearer of my end. I know how those stories end, so rather than trying to defy them, I’ll just let him fulfil his destiny. Right here, right now.”

“F*CK THOSE PROPHECIES!” Samar shouted, stunning all in the room. His parents might be upset about his choice of words, but there are more pressing matters at hand.
“Why should I care about what is written for me? Why can’t you just still go explore the world?” Said the boy.

“My son is right!” The father spoke, adding to his son’s wisdom,
“Why don’t you just let fate run its course? Why are you worrying about something so distant?”

Julius sighed, “Well, what if I turn evil in the future if we don’t do this now? What if wickedness overtakes me?”

“Are you evil now?” Asked the boy.

“Well, I don’t know." Answered the adventurer.
"I do try my best to help others, but…”

“Then you’re not evil, and you don’t deserve to be hurt! If you turned evil when I grow up, that’s adult me problem, not today’s me problem!” Said Samar.

“Again, he’s right.” The mother spoke,
“Just live your life, don’t let nonsense like that disturb you. You know, you and your adventures mean a lot to him, right?” She said as she pointed out the various journal clippings on the wall.

“But I…” Julius was speechless. Something had snapped within him.
He was maddened, his obsession with fate overtook him. But the words from the family broke his trance.
What has he done?

He trembled for a second, and all of a sudden, he hugged the boy. He was unable to maintain his calm any longer. His tears finally flew.
“I’m sorry, lad! I’m so sorry! You’re right, you don’t have to do this. You don’t deserve this, not this young.”

The boy wept again, overpowered by his feelings.
Julius Joules, his hero, hugged him. He had convinced the adventurer to stop his insane, prophecy-driven plan. Yet, what just happened was still fresh in the boy's memory, and he dreaded the fact that he would be his champion’s doom.
The parents hugged each other. Relieved. Their son is safe for now.

…

Tears stopped dropping from the adventurer. Calmed down, Julius released his hug, and then slowly walked to the window.
“I’m really sorry about all that happened tonight.” He spoke. “I’ll send compensation soon enough. We’ll meet again someday, hopefully not the way I would expect.”

Just before he left through where he came from, however, the boy’s mother interjected.
“Mr. Joules, please, stay a bit longer. We are just about to have dinner!” Said the woman.
“You’ve probably come a long way from here, and I think you looked a tad bit famished, dear.”

“I don’t think I deserve your kindness,” Replied the adventurer.
“Not after everything that just happened.”

“No, it’s alright. We insist!” Joined the father.
“We have enough for everyone!”

Not wanting to be rude, Julius could only accept.
“Very well. Who am I to be above the laws of hospitality?” He said as he put down his right leg from the window.

The mother spoke, “Good! Now, let me just run the pipes so we all can wash our faces!”
With a slight chuckle, she continued. “I know that we all need that after what just happened.”

"Oh please... You've offered so much already." Uttered Julius.
"Thank you." Said the adventurer; a smile formed on his face.

(To be continued?)

<< First Chapter
< Previous Chapter Next Chapter >
Madeline shuffled in her seat, eyes darting around the room, looking at anything and everything apart from Marcus as she tried to sift through her thoughts. Not that there was much to look at between the plain off-white walls and the worn grey carpet. The room was completely bare apart from the table she and the young guard were sitting at. She wondered what it was usually used for. A quiet office? An interrogation room? A holding cell? Or maybe it was reserved for just this — when an inmate wanted a quiet word with a guard.
Whatever it was used for, the room seemed designed to provide as little distraction as possible. But that was good, wasn’t it? No more delays. That was what she’d agreed with Billie. She would ask her questions now, and then it would be done. The chips would fall and if she got in trouble she could start picking up the pieces.
“Madeline?” Marcus prompted. “You really can ask me anything, you know. It might be hard to believe, but I promise that you can trust me.”
She finally let herself look at him, but her lips remained firmly sealed.
“Besides, I’d have thought you were keen to get this over with so you could go and have dinner.” He grinned at her, tilting his head to look out at her under raised eyebrows. “You’re normally very keen to eat.”
Though she couldn’t bring herself to laugh at his joke, it was reassuring how hard he was trying to be nice. She really wanted to believe that it couldn’t all be an act.
She nodded to herself, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry. It’s just like I said earlier, I really don’t want to give you the wrong idea or get you in trouble or get me in trouble.” Shifting slightly under his steady gaze, she looked down at her fingers fidgeting and twisting together on the table.
Until a hand slid across into her eye line.
She froze.
Marcus froze too, his hand millimetres from her own. Then, it slid forward again and closed over hers. Though she tensed, she didn’t flinch or pull back. She slowly looked up and met his wide, kind eyes. “I… I was wondering if… I wanted to ask you about…” She closed her eyes and forced the words out. “Has anyone ever tried to escape from here before? And if so, what happened?”
The hand on hers twitched slightly but remained where it was. Surely that was a good sign?
She opened her eyes to see Marcus’s gaze fixed on her, his expression frustratingly neutral.
“Yes,” he said levelly. “People have tried to escape before. Of course they have. People value their freedom.”
“And?”
“And some managed. Though some of those were caught again, and it didn’t end well for them.”
“And those that didn’t manage?”
“It didn’t end well for them either. They tend to make an example of anyone who tries it.” The hand on hers finally slid back, but he leaned in closer, face twisted by concern. “Why are you asking this?”
Finally, one of the answers she’d rehearsed! “Well, I was just wondering about Billie’s brother — and anyone else we might want to enquire about. If they’d escaped or tried to escape, would they still be in the system? And would you be able to tell us about it, even if it wasn’t good news?”
His eyes narrowed slightly, but he didn’t call her out on what now seemed such an obvious lie. “They would still be in our system, yes. As for whether we would pass on the information as to what happened to them… That would depend on the good it could do.”
“Of course. I just know how much closure can help.”
“And that’s the only reason you’re asking?” he asked with raised eyebrows.
She nodded quickly. “Mmhhmm.”
“Because if there might be another reason, I would have to implore you in the strongest possible terms to reconsider whatever you might be planning. Because… Because like I said, it won’t end well.” He inched further towards her, leaning her across the table. “It won’t be by my hand, I can promise you that, but I can’t protect you from the others. And I really, really don’t want to see that happen to you, Madeline. I… I care about you.”
Madeline’s breath caught in her throat. For all Billie’s teasing, she hadn’t really, truly considered the possibility that they might be right. She’d never exactly been popular with boys, particularly with boys like Marcus — a fact that had never really bothered her. And what could she possibly have done to warrant his interest in her baggy shapeless work clothes?
“You remind me so much of my sister,” he continued, glancing down at his hands on the table.
She let out the breath she hadn’t realised she was holding.
“She’d have been about your age. She was shy at first too, but had an outrageous mouth on her once you got to know her. She was smart — always reading — and she was quiet and sweet… too sweet for this world.”
Now, it was Madeline’s turn to reach across the table, slipping her hand over his and squeezing gently. “Did you lose her?”
He shrugged. “I suppose I did in pretty much every sense of the word. Though perhaps I’ll never know for certain. So believe me when I say I know what you mean about the importance of closure.”
“What happened?”
Looking up to meet her gaze, he gave her a wan smile. “We’re not here to talk about me. We’re here to answer your questions.”
She smiled back. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. But you’ve been such a help to me here. So if you ever want to talk about it, I’d love to listen.”
He was silent a while, expression glazed over as if his mind was elsewhere. Then, his eyes snapped back into focus as if a decision had been reached. “The short version is that we got separated, like so many people did in the early days. I spent a long time looking for her, and it led me here. I paid my dues and worked hard. When they told me she wasn’t in the system, I didn’t believe them. I figured if I became a guard I could check for myself and, well… it turned out they weren’t lying. Or if they were, they covered their tracks well.”
“I’m sorry that you couldn’t find her.”
“Me too.” Glancing back down, he placed his other hand over hers and squeezed slightly. “And I’d also be very sorry if anything happened to you. So please, Madeline, be careful. While I promise you can trust me, there’s not much I can do to help if you get in trouble. And I really couldn’t stand to see you get in trouble.”
“I promise that I’ll be careful,” she said. After all, it was technically true. And though she’d lied many times to survive in this world, it seemed wrong to repay Marcus’s honesty with her own dishonesty.
“And that includes not mentioning any of this to anyone else. If anyone asks, you were here to talk to me about Liam and ask about the arrangements for your family room, okay?”
“Okay. Actually, since you bring it up, are there any updates there?”
He snorted. “Trust me, as soon as there are any updates I will make sure you’re the first to know.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Madeline. You’re always welcome.” Pushing his chair back, he stood. “Now shall we get you back to the dormitory so you can get some dinner?”
She followed suit, chair scraping across the worn carpet. “That sounds good. And Marcus?”
“Hmmm?”
“I really do mean it. Thank you.”
On the walk back, Madeline felt lighter. She hadn’t exactly learned much, though she supposed she should take heart from the fact that some people had successfully escaped this place. But the thing putting a spring back into her step was the knowledge that she had a true friend on her side. And despite what Billie might say, she didn’t need to worry about giving him the wrong impression or any romantic overtures.
In fact, it turned out that Marcus was just like them. He’d come here in search of someone he’d loved and lost.
Madeline wondered how many of the other guards here had similar stories. She was sure that some were attracted to the role because of the power over others, but plenty of them seemed like nice enough human beings. When she’d first arrived, she hadn’t been able to fathom the sort of person who would willingly work for or with the Poiloogs — at least not one she’d like to meet. But perhaps the world was even less black and white than she’d thought.
She could even start to see a world where she’d be happy enough staying here.
Of course, she missed her freedom. Her books. Her library. But the work wasn’t too bad. She had food and a bed. She had Billie. And apparently, she had Marcus too. And soon, she’d have Liam. In a lot of ways, that was a better existence than the one she’d had just a year ago — free, but alone, surviving rather than living.
Author's Note: Next chapter due on 16th June

I have two extra tickets for the Twenty-Sided Tavern, a D+D theater show. The show consists of the actors playing a party of Dungeons and Dragons characters going through an adventure. Make sure your phone is charged because the show involves a web app where you can participate in the show by voting on what the characters will do next!
The show starts at 7:30 but we can meet up earlier near the theater and go out to dinner.

Link to serial master post for other chapters
Madeline shuffled in her seat, eyes darting around the room, looking at anything and everything apart from Marcus as she tried to sift through her thoughts. Not that there was much to look at between the plain off-white walls and the worn grey carpet. The room was completely bare apart from the table she and the young guard were sitting at. She wondered what it was usually used for. A quiet office? An interrogation room? A holding cell? Or maybe it was reserved for just this — when an inmate wanted a quiet word with a guard.
Whatever it was used for, the room seemed designed to provide as little distraction as possible. But that was good, wasn’t it? No more delays. That was what she’d agreed with Billie. She would ask her questions now, and then it would be done. The chips would fall and if she got in trouble she could start picking up the pieces.
“Madeline?” Marcus prompted. “You really can ask me anything, you know. It might be hard to believe, but I promise that you can trust me.”
She finally let herself look at him, but her lips remained firmly sealed.
“Besides, I’d have thought you were keen to get this over with so you could go and have dinner.” He grinned at her, tilting his head to look out at her under raised eyebrows. “You’re normally very keen to eat.”
Though she couldn’t bring herself to laugh at his joke, it was reassuring how hard he was trying to be nice. She really wanted to believe that it couldn’t all be an act.
She nodded to herself, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry. It’s just like I said earlier, I really don’t want to give you the wrong idea or get you in trouble or get me in trouble.” Shifting slightly under his steady gaze, she looked down at her fingers fidgeting and twisting together on the table.
Until a hand slid across into her eye line.
She froze.
Marcus froze too, his hand millimetres from her own. Then, it slid forward again and closed over hers. Though she tensed, she didn’t flinch or pull back. She slowly looked up and met his wide, kind eyes. “I… I was wondering if… I wanted to ask you about…” She closed her eyes and forced the words out. “Has anyone ever tried to escape from here before? And if so, what happened?”
The hand on hers twitched slightly but remained where it was. Surely that was a good sign?
She opened her eyes to see Marcus’s gaze fixed on her, his expression frustratingly neutral.
“Yes,” he said levelly. “People have tried to escape before. Of course they have. People value their freedom.”
“And?”
“And some managed. Though some of those were caught again, and it didn’t end well for them.”
“And those that didn’t manage?”
“It didn’t end well for them either. They tend to make an example of anyone who tries it.” The hand on hers finally slid back, but he leaned in closer, face twisted by concern. “Why are you asking this?”
Finally, one of the answers she’d rehearsed! “Well, I was just wondering about Billie’s brother — and anyone else we might want to enquire about. If they’d escaped or tried to escape, would they still be in the system? And would you be able to tell us about it, even if it wasn’t good news?”
His eyes narrowed slightly, but he didn’t call her out on what now seemed such an obvious lie. “They would still be in our system, yes. As for whether we would pass on the information as to what happened to them… That would depend on the good it could do.”
“Of course. I just know how much closure can help.”
“And that’s the only reason you’re asking?” he asked with raised eyebrows.
She nodded quickly. “Mmhhmm.”
“Because if there might be another reason, I would have to implore you in the strongest possible terms to reconsider whatever you might be planning. Because… Because like I said, it won’t end well.” He inched further towards her, leaning her across the table. “It won’t be by my hand, I can promise you that, but I can’t protect you from the others. And I really, really don’t want to see that happen to you, Madeline. I… I care about you.”
Madeline’s breath caught in her throat. For all Billie’s teasing, she hadn’t really, truly considered the possibility that they might be right. She’d never exactly been popular with boys, particularly with boys like Marcus — a fact that had never really bothered her. And what could she possibly have done to warrant his interest in her baggy shapeless work clothes?
“You remind me so much of my sister,” he continued, glancing down at his hands on the table.
She let out the breath she hadn’t realised she was holding.
“She’d have been about your age. She was shy at first too, but had an outrageous mouth on her once you got to know her. She was smart — always reading — and she was quiet and sweet… too sweet for this world.”
Now, it was Madeline’s turn to reach across the table, slipping her hand over his and squeezing gently. “Did you lose her?”
He shrugged. “I suppose I did in pretty much every sense of the word. Though perhaps I’ll never know for certain. So believe me when I say I know what you mean about the importance of closure.”
“What happened?”
Looking up to meet her gaze, he gave her a wan smile. “We’re not here to talk about me. We’re here to answer your questions.”
She smiled back. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. But you’ve been such a help to me here. So if you ever want to talk about it, I’d love to listen.”
He was silent a while, expression glazed over as if his mind was elsewhere. Then, his eyes snapped back into focus as if a decision had been reached. “The short version is that we got separated, like so many people did in the early days. I spent a long time looking for her, and it led me here. I paid my dues and worked hard. When they told me she wasn’t in the system, I didn’t believe them. I figured if I became a guard I could check for myself and, well… it turned out they weren’t lying. Or if they were, they covered their tracks well.”
“I’m sorry that you couldn’t find her.”
“Me too.” Glancing back down, he placed his other hand over hers and squeezed slightly. “And I’d also be very sorry if anything happened to you. So please, Madeline, be careful. While I promise you can trust me, there’s not much I can do to help if you get in trouble. And I really couldn’t stand to see you get in trouble.”
“I promise that I’ll be careful,” she said. After all, it was technically true. And though she’d lied many times to survive in this world, it seemed wrong to repay Marcus’s honesty with her own dishonesty.
“And that includes not mentioning any of this to anyone else. If anyone asks, you were here to talk to me about Liam and ask about the arrangements for your family room, okay?”
“Okay. Actually, since you bring it up, are there any updates there?”
He snorted. “Trust me, as soon as there are any updates I will make sure you’re the first to know.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Madeline. You’re always welcome.” Pushing his chair back, he stood. “Now shall we get you back to the dormitory so you can get some dinner?”
She followed suit, chair scraping across the worn carpet. “That sounds good. And Marcus?”
“Hmmm?”
“I really do mean it. Thank you.”
On the walk back, Madeline felt lighter. She hadn’t exactly learned much, though she supposed she should take heart from the fact that some people had successfully escaped this place. But the thing putting a spring back into her step was the knowledge that she had a true friend on her side. And despite what Billie might say, she didn’t need to worry about giving him the wrong impression or any romantic overtures.
In fact, it turned out that Marcus was just like them. He’d come here in search of someone he’d loved and lost.
Madeline wondered how many of the other guards here had similar stories. She was sure that some were attracted to the role because of the power over others, but plenty of them seemed like nice enough human beings. When she’d first arrived, she hadn’t been able to fathom the sort of person who would willingly work for or with the Poiloogs — at least not one she’d like to meet. But perhaps the world was even less black and white than she’d thought.
She could even start to see a world where she’d be happy enough staying here.
Of course, she missed her freedom. Her books. Her library. But the work wasn’t too bad. She had food and a bed. She had Billie. And apparently, she had Marcus too. And soon, she’d have Liam. In a lot of ways, that was a better existence than the one she’d had just a year ago — free, but alone, surviving rather than living.
Author's Note: Next chapter due on 16th June

Madeline shuffled in her seat, eyes darting around the room, looking at anything and everything apart from Marcus as she tried to sift through her thoughts. Not that there was much to look at between the plain off-white walls and the worn grey carpet. The room was completely bare apart from the table she and the young guard were sitting at. She wondered what it was usually used for. A quiet office? An interrogation room? A holding cell? Or maybe it was reserved for just this — when an inmate wanted a quiet word with a guard.
Whatever it was used for, the room seemed designed to provide as little distraction as possible. But that was good, wasn’t it? No more delays. That was what she’d agreed with Billie. She would ask her questions now, and then it would be done. The chips would fall and if she got in trouble she could start picking up the pieces.
“Madeline?” Marcus prompted. “You really can ask me anything, you know. It might be hard to believe, but I promise that you can trust me.”
She finally let herself look at him, but her lips remained firmly sealed.
“Besides, I’d have thought you were keen to get this over with so you could go and have dinner.” He grinned at her, tilting his head to look out at her under raised eyebrows. “You’re normally very keen to eat.”
Though she couldn’t bring herself to laugh at his joke, it was reassuring how hard he was trying to be nice. She really wanted to believe that it couldn’t all be an act.
She nodded to herself, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry. It’s just like I said earlier, I really don’t want to give you the wrong idea or get you in trouble or get me in trouble.” Shifting slightly under his steady gaze, she looked down at her fingers fidgeting and twisting together on the table.
Until a hand slid across into her eye line.
She froze.
Marcus froze too, his hand millimetres from her own. Then, it slid forward again and closed over hers. Though she tensed, she didn’t flinch or pull back. She slowly looked up and met his wide, kind eyes. “I… I was wondering if… I wanted to ask you about…” She closed her eyes and forced the words out. “Has anyone ever tried to escape from here before? And if so, what happened?”
The hand on hers twitched slightly but remained where it was. Surely that was a good sign?
She opened her eyes to see Marcus’s gaze fixed on her, his expression frustratingly neutral.
“Yes,” he said levelly. “People have tried to escape before. Of course they have. People value their freedom.”
“And?”
“And some managed. Though some of those were caught again, and it didn’t end well for them.”
“And those that didn’t manage?”
“It didn’t end well for them either. They tend to make an example of anyone who tries it.” The hand on hers finally slid back, but he leaned in closer, face twisted by concern. “Why are you asking this?”
Finally, one of the answers she’d rehearsed! “Well, I was just wondering about Billie’s brother — and anyone else we might want to enquire about. If they’d escaped or tried to escape, would they still be in the system? And would you be able to tell us about it, even if it wasn’t good news?”
His eyes narrowed slightly, but he didn’t call her out on what now seemed such an obvious lie. “They would still be in our system, yes. As for whether we would pass on the information as to what happened to them… That would depend on the good it could do.”
“Of course. I just know how much closure can help.”
“And that’s the only reason you’re asking?” he asked with raised eyebrows.
She nodded quickly. “Mmhhmm.”
“Because if there might be another reason, I would have to implore you in the strongest possible terms to reconsider whatever you might be planning. Because… Because like I said, it won’t end well.” He inched further towards her, leaning her across the table. “It won’t be by my hand, I can promise you that, but I can’t protect you from the others. And I really, really don’t want to see that happen to you, Madeline. I… I care about you.”
Madeline’s breath caught in her throat. For all Billie’s teasing, she hadn’t really, truly considered the possibility that they might be right. She’d never exactly been popular with boys, particularly with boys like Marcus — a fact that had never really bothered her. And what could she possibly have done to warrant his interest in her baggy shapeless work clothes?
“You remind me so much of my sister,” he continued, glancing down at his hands on the table.
She let out the breath she hadn’t realised she was holding.
“She’d have been about your age. She was shy at first too, but had an outrageous mouth on her once you got to know her. She was smart — always reading — and she was quiet and sweet… too sweet for this world.”
Now, it was Madeline’s turn to reach across the table, slipping her hand over his and squeezing gently. “Did you lose her?”
He shrugged. “I suppose I did in pretty much every sense of the word. Though perhaps I’ll never know for certain. So believe me when I say I know what you mean about the importance of closure.”
“What happened?”
Looking up to meet her gaze, he gave her a wan smile. “We’re not here to talk about me. We’re here to answer your questions.”
She smiled back. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. But you’ve been such a help to me here. So if you ever want to talk about it, I’d love to listen.”
He was silent a while, expression glazed over as if his mind was elsewhere. Then, his eyes snapped back into focus as if a decision had been reached. “The short version is that we got separated, like so many people did in the early days. I spent a long time looking for her, and it led me here. I paid my dues and worked hard. When they told me she wasn’t in the system, I didn’t believe them. I figured if I became a guard I could check for myself and, well… it turned out they weren’t lying. Or if they were, they covered their tracks well.”
“I’m sorry that you couldn’t find her.”
“Me too.” Glancing back down, he placed his other hand over hers and squeezed slightly. “And I’d also be very sorry if anything happened to you. So please, Madeline, be careful. While I promise you can trust me, there’s not much I can do to help if you get in trouble. And I really couldn’t stand to see you get in trouble.”
“I promise that I’ll be careful,” she said. After all, it was technically true. And though she’d lied many times to survive in this world, it seemed wrong to repay Marcus’s honesty with her own dishonesty.
“And that includes not mentioning any of this to anyone else. If anyone asks, you were here to talk to me about Liam and ask about the arrangements for your family room, okay?”
“Okay. Actually, since you bring it up, are there any updates there?”
He snorted. “Trust me, as soon as there are any updates I will make sure you’re the first to know.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Madeline. You’re always welcome.” Pushing his chair back, he stood. “Now shall we get you back to the dormitory so you can get some dinner?”
She followed suit, chair scraping across the worn carpet. “That sounds good. And Marcus?”
“Hmmm?”
“I really do mean it. Thank you.”
On the walk back, Madeline felt lighter. She hadn’t exactly learned much, though she supposed she should take heart from the fact that some people had successfully escaped this place. But the thing putting a spring back into her step was the knowledge that she had a true friend on her side. And despite what Billie might say, she didn’t need to worry about giving him the wrong impression or any romantic overtures.
In fact, it turned out that Marcus was just like them. He’d come here in search of someone he’d loved and lost.
Madeline wondered how many of the other guards here had similar stories. She was sure that some were attracted to the role because of the power over others, but plenty of them seemed like nice enough human beings. When she’d first arrived, she hadn’t been able to fathom the sort of person who would willingly work for or with the Poiloogs — at least not one she’d like to meet. But perhaps the world was even less black and white than she’d thought.
She could even start to see a world where she’d be happy enough staying here.
Of course, she missed her freedom. Her books. Her library. But the work wasn’t too bad. She had food and a bed. She had Billie. And apparently, she had Marcus too. And soon, she’d have Liam. In a lot of ways, that was a better existence than the one she’d had just a year ago — free, but alone, surviving rather than living.

So my (30F) birthday is coming up. My husband (31M) is hosting a little get-together to surprise me (I found out, we’ll get into why). I’m very reserved as I didn’t grow up in the most conventional way and don’t trust a whole lot of people so my husband is just inviting those that have been consistently in my life and supported me. So my siblings, their spouses/kids, his siblings, their spouses/kids, a few friends, and his parents (I joke I’ve adopted them and even if we ever separated, I get them in the divorce, he’s fine with it 😂)
My sister reached out to my husband to convince him to invite my parents (60M, 55F). I don’t have a good relationship with them, honestly there not much of a relationship at all. I only hear from them when family has passed, birthdays, or anniversaries (usually just a quick phone call). When they do come to my state to visit, they expect me to drop everything to come to them, they have maybe been at my house 2 times since I’ve lived here for 3 years, just for 30 minutes each time.
Also, the last two birthdays I’ve had, my dad made plans to take me out for dinner or hangout, and then just never showed up. Which is a trigger since he did that a lot growing up. We’d have to “wait for dad to cut the cake and open presents” only for him to not show up at all, super embarrassing as a kid with all your friends over to celebrate. Even though I try to not let it get to me, it’s still disappointing at 30. They don’t try to have a relationship with me, but tell my entire family I ignore their calls and text. My siblings know that’s BS because I’ve shown them the proof but the rest of the family believes it.
So basically my husband said no, he would not be inviting them. My sister hasn’t let up though so he spilled the beans about the get together and flat out asked me if I wanted them there….my first reaction….no. Any opportunity to spend time with me “one-on-one” they refuse but because everyone else will be there, now they want to spend time with me? And with my dads drinking problem, small get togethers turn into family fights, I don’t want my in-laws to experience that. As a child, I didn’t feel like they wanted me around and I grew up with a lot of self hate, thought there was something wrong with me, and it’s taken a lot of time/years to heal from that. So….AITA?
Side note: my parents have had a tumultuous relationship my whole life. My first memory is of them fighting. There’s always been a cycle of dad cheats, mom stays...just for the cycle to start over. Many times us kids were caught in the middle of it, my sister probably the most. The most recent event being last week. My dad told my mom for the 100th time he’s in love with some girl at work who’s half his age. (He’s your typical 60yo white man who hooks up with women who barely speak English and then vote for some like Tonald Drump to “save America from foreigners”, it’s gross and I feel for those girls who fall for his sh*t) He even had the nerve to say it ok for him, the guy, to cheat but it’s “gross” if my mom did and he’d never forgive her because how dare a woman cheat.
When I have confronted them in the past about how I feel, I’m told I’m an adult now and what happened when I was child shouldn’t matter anymore. How my dad treats my mom is “non of my business”.

I'm 51 and have rarely had in-person friendship interactions. My Mom is partially to blame because she said "Wait to be invited" but I was never cool enough or interesting enough in High School or Grade School to have people calling me to see how I'm doing or invite me to go places. College wasn't as bad but I still never got invited. I was bullied more in 7th grade in a small school, so most people wouldn't know about it transitioning to a larger High School, so I feel my lack of trust in some people plays a big factor.
I had one friend since 20 but he's been flakey, takes too long to get ready for an event like a car show that there's never been enough time to browse and I would feel rushed. There's more drama with him that's irrelevant to my situation but I've stopped replying to him. He never made an effort to drive 30 minutes or so to see me when I was married. And when in relationships and was married my partner didn't typically have a girl's night out, as it was usually us with or without her friends.
I learned young that being funny and making people laughed really helps, but I have yet to see true results. My Dad told me to treat others as I would myself, and to put others ahead of myself to go around in life, but all that's done as hold me back as I have yet to see lasting results. I read an article on Lifehacker a decade ago about how to make friends in your 30's and one of the suggestions was Meetup.com, which did help as I made acquaintances and did meet others at events, but I understand people change.
My gf of 10 years knows my struggles, so she encouraged me to get out when I have a chance at meeting new people. We don't always have the same interests either so I appreciate her willingness to adjust. Going against my Mom's advice I would tell people where I would be going and ask if they'd be interested days in advance, but nobody seems to have the time, or they have so many friends (proving it can be done) that nobody considers me a priority. They enjoy my caring and giving nature, my ability to help with computer stuff, but I picked up that they only seem to reach out to me for that, and I feel I'm not good enough for anything else.
I befriended an older woman months ago at work who keeps pushing me to do stand-up, as I'm always making her laugh, and have been there to listen as her brother is in the hospital. I offered to hang out but she feels uncomfortable and doesn't want to look suspicious as she knows I have a girlfriend. I was upset about it but then she wishes she would have changed her mind when I spoke to her the next Monday.
This past week there was a street fair in a big town as my gf was there doing tarot readings, and that the street fair has eclectic items and draws a huge crowds with food vendors and entertainment. I mentioned this event to said coworker, a friend from Grade School I just reconnected with, my female friend from Meetup (no reply, and she lives with her bf closer to the event) and my ex wife who I get along with. The ex wife wasn't sure as she always was in bed by 9 (an issue in our marriage). After I told the coworker Friday about the event, she said on the day of the event that she made plans elsewhere. The friend from grade school seems to be going through issues and doesn't seem reliable, like everyone else.
I'm not a beealcohol drinker, was picked last or near last at gym so I'm not into sports, and I dont have the typical guy mentality; so it's easier to do me to be friends with women. One of my other female friends says "Life gets in the way" but if that were true why do a lot of FB posts show them with friends and best friends? That envy and comparison was why I only go on FB to buy and sell stuff. Do those friends and best friends not have lives, and is that why they're able to do things?
So at this point in life is it better to accept my fate and move on? Was I simply taught wrong when I should have learned morals off the street? Is everyone just not reliable enough? I keep telling myself that if you're not already in someone's inner circle that there's no chance of getting in now, and I'm starting to think that's true. I've tried being the catalyst with no results. Even this morning I read a story on here of a Mom who got RSVP's for her 5-year olds b-day party but got cancellations days leading to the event, so i know im not alone. Maybe this is best posted over at /MaleMentalHealth but wanted other's inputs here. If being funny, caring, and considerate isn't enough or more than enough, what am I lacking?

First: I am very neurodivergent to say the least. I'm very sensitive to sounds and smells. I have a 6 year old son. He has been "potty trained" for several years. Except not because he can't seem to not pee in his sleep. I am washing at least 2 loads of laundry every single day and stripping beds every single day. If I skip a day (even though we use expensive pads on top of his fitted sheet and two different mattress toppers] urine just permeates from his bedroom. Honestly, I wouldn't hate putting him an overnight pull up for a couple nights just so I can give my nose and my washing machine a break. But- that feels cruel and embarrassing and I know my baby boy wouldn't be OK with that. So here I am- stripping washing and entirely redoing at least 1 bed everyday. Let's not talk about if he wakes up and sits on my couch before changing or washing.
What can I do for him? We stop liquids at 630p with dinner. He pees around then and I wake him up around 10 and walk him to the toilet AND HE STILL PISSES THE BED. What am I doing wrong? At this point, I'm delaying fully potty training his 2 year old sister bc I'm scared she's going to be fully done before he Is! But even more than that- I've been washing urine covered blankets every single day for about 3 years now and I'm over it. What am I missing?

So it was my bday yday. I woke up to find my ltp already up and out. Ok whatever. I sorted our toddler and got him ready for the day. He came back and so I went out to go spend some time with another family member & to have a break from being the main parent 24/7. I literally never get a break so when he offered to watch our child I took him up on it. When I came back (I was out for maybe 2/3hrs if that) my now ex complained about what my family member had bought me. (Solar lights for my garden) he then proceeded to get ready & went out to celebrate HIS family members birthday which is the day after mine, but they had decided to organise a meal on my bday. I obviously had no issues about this but I wasn’t specifically invited. Wasn’t bothered about that either as I wanted a chilled day. Here’s the reasoning for the post. Before he left he said it was a meal. I asked if he’d given our child their dinner whilst I was out. He hadn’t so I had to quickly cook for our child. He also didn’t tell me they were going clubbing after. Again not bothered but to be kept in the loop so I a)could organise family to come spend some time with me on my birthday b) wasn’t sat waiting up like an idiot would have been nice. No check in messages etc. Now here’s my issue. I live so close to the city you can see it from my window. It’s like 10 mins in a cab. His family member lives almost 20 miles from the city . Tell me why my ex decided to go back to his family members house and sleep on the floor, rather than coming back to his home. Only reason I can think is because there was a female there that he had history with. I only know this because his family member posted videos of him in the club with said female. I’m also pissed because today was meant to be mine to completely destress. He was meant to spend some time with our child and take her out. He didn’t even tell me where he’d been or what was going on. I called him at midday to ask where he was and if he was ok. He sounded pissed from the night before. I called it quits and now I’m fighting my internal monologue to make amends. Help.

When I (35f) was 14, my mom had my little sister. I was an accident, the child that “ruined” my mother’s life (aka ruining her chances at marrying rich and living her best life… her words paraphrased), but my sister was planned. My mom’s entire pregnancy was a nightmare. She was always abusive, but somehow being pregnant made her even worse.
The day they both came home from the hospital, it became my job to take care of my sister. As you can imagine, that went over super well with a teenage girl, but I did it.
Every day I’d come home from school to find my little sister still in her crib. Sometimes crying and needing a diaper change, while my mother laid in bed watching General Hospital and screaming at me to take care of my sister. Any time I pushed back, my mother would punish me. She refused to take care of my sister because my stepdad was the one who wanted a kid. He could take care of her once he got home, which wouldn’t be for hours. So I’d take care of my sister, cook dinner, and do the list of chores my mother demanded.
My first homecoming game? My parents showed up, my mom dumped my sister on me, so I (at 15) had to walk around carrying my infant sister while my mom got drunk and had the time of her life.
We’d go out to dinner, and I’d be on “baby duty”. So the servers would think she was my kid, and talk to me like I’m the mom. I’d angrily clarify that I’m 15 and this was my little sister, and my mom would laugh like it was hilarious.
The day I turned 16, my mom literally had me going out applying for jobs because I was old enough now. She wasn’t going to pay for me anymore. I had to take care of myself… which was hilarious since my dad was paying her child support. While we had been dirt poor when I was a kid, my stepdad makes a ridiculous amount of money. We were no longer living paycheck to paycheck, and living in a million dollar home.
At 16, I was taking multiple AP and honors courses, in the presidency of five different clubs, was a senior editor of the newspaper with several columns assigned to me, a member of the varsity debate team (also was a mentor to the novice team members, working 30+ hours a week, paying all my bills (car insurance, gas, clothes, food), and raising my little sister. All that time, my mother’s abuse got worse. Her drinking had steadily increased, and she became more violent.
A few days before my 18th birthday, I finally snapped. I left home. When I tried to go home a few days later to get my stuff, my mom attacked me and my friend who’d come with me. My friend and I both ended up escaping and running… technically I had to do a barrel roll as the garage door opened to escape… which shouldn’t be funny but I’m laughing right now thinking about how ridiculous it must have looked to anyone on the outside who had no idea what was happening.
Anyway, I ended up moving across the country to live with my dad, for my own safety and mental/physical health. I wanted to go no contact with my mom forever, but I couldn’t leave my little sister alone with her. I went back eventually for my sister, but things were the same with my mom. I left again for my own sanity and physical well being.
When my sister hit high school, my mom refused to get her a phone, so I put my sister on my plan. Made sure Uber was set up for her so that I’d pay if she needed a safe ride to get out of a bad situation. I took her school clothes shopping. Bought her exactly what she asked for every Christmas (something my mother purposefully refuses to do).
I’m the one who taught her how to be safe at parties, how to protect herself, and to look out for other girls. I had safe sex talks with her. Encouraged her to do well in school so that she could escape our mother too.
What killed me was getting the calls from her that mom was off the rails again. The police did nothing to protect me back when I was 17, almost 18. When CPS was called on my mom for my sister, several times, they did nothing also. Having a lot of money and being able to look like a stepford wife at the drop of a hat worked in my mom’s favor I guess. I personally believe she’s a narcissist, but I’ll probably never know for sure cause she’ll never get diagnosed.
When my sister turned 18 and graduated high school, she moved in with me and my fiancé that summer. She took a gap year, and we took care of her. Having escaped our mother myself, I knew she needed that space to heal. My fiancé and I joked to ourselves that we became parents to a grown teenager.
I drove her to college last summer, she just finished her first year. My little sis has been accepted and is transferring to her dream school this fall. I’m so proud of her.
To be honest, I’ve busted my ass since I turned 18, because I knew the day would come where my sister would turn 18, and she’d need a safe place to fall. I wanted to be in a good enough place to be able to provide that for her… and I did it. I got her out, and she’s thriving.
We’ve been planning a trip to go see our grandmothers this summer. My fiancé isn’t able to join us for the trip, since it’s going to be an extended visit and we can’t leave our cats alone/have his parents look out for them for that long.
One of my grandmothers called to tell me that my little sister was disappointed that he wasn’t going to be there, and that he feels more like a dad to her than her own father…. And honestly that broke my heart.
She’s joked with me before that I’m more like her mom than our actual mother. Honestly, it’s true. I feel like her mom, more than I feel like her sister. Sometimes I wish she was my kid. That we were her parents, because she’d have probably been better off. I told my fiancé about what my sister said and we both got emotional about it… and then pissed at my stepdad for being so god damn apathetic and my mom for being an abusive alcoholic narcissist… that woman wonders why I never call.
I’m looking forward to seeing my sister soon and giving her a big hug. Fiancé did joke that little sis is being dramatic because she’s still flying back to our house to stay with us for a week. Her Christmas/Birthday present for 2023+2024 were VIP/barricade concert tickets to see her favorite K-pop group. I saved up forever for them. It was just supposed to be for her and her friend as her Christmas/birthday present for 2023, but she insisted on it being for 2023 and 2024. I just like seeing her happy.

30F, 127 lb, 5'9 with digestive system issues and thyroid antibodies and atrophic left thyroid.
2 weeks ago after eating a fatty large meal I got major abdominal cramping, nausea, bloating and indigestion. I have been having these symptoms off and on the last 2 weeks. Always 10x worse at night and wakes me up. TRIGGER WARNING- I recently started having watery explosive diarrhea, one night it was about 10 rounds. After I eat the symptoms start. Always worse after a larger meal, such as dinner at night.
Been to doc twice, labs are normal besides mild macrocytic anemia. I have been put on omeprazole.
Normal upper abdomen ultrasound. (No gallstones).
The bloating is the worst because the pain gets to 7/10 nonstop at night.
One month ago I had a thyroid ultrasound, atrophic missing left thyroid tissue, thyroglobulin antibodies + (1.1).
TSH is normal (3.6) T4 normal (.78) T3 is low (1.8)
What's going on with my thyroid, and is there any connection with the gut?! The doctors I see have no idea.

My father is a hardcore alcoholic. Averages 500ml (16.9oz) of vodka daily (straight, without mixers).
I tried to do him a favor by mowing his lawn, he broke the lawnmower without telling me before I showed up, couldn't be bothered to get out of his recliner to try and help fix it, and when I asked him to move his car out of the garage to have some space to work he barely moved it a few feet instead of into the cul-de-sac (alcohol has seemingly fried what little common sense he had). I lost my shit, yelled at him, and stormed off.
I only barely have a relationship with him because he's the only family I have (my white mother and her family are white supremacists who believe that brown people, i.e. me, are abominations...long story, not relevant here). I'm done with all of this. It's all fine and dandy that alcoholism is a disease, but at some point, I'm not sympathetic. It's not like he has cancer and deserves sympathy - he's a dumbfuck alcoholic who can't put down the bottle long enough to not be a waste of space. His decision making has always been awful. He complained last week that he's gained weight while I've lost it...meanwhile he will eat potato chips for breakfast, lunch, and dinner (plus high-caloric vodka), while I bust my ass exercising and prioritize fruits and veggies and healthy proteins. I also financially support him - in the last 12 months I've given him ~$60k.
Should I try to be less angry? If so, how? I can't even look at him without falling into a blind rage. Or should I just serve the tie?
On the plus side, thanks to seeing what a loser he is I don't have any addictions...

I have been a photographer for a good 5+ years and it’s definitely my passion and what I enjoy deeply doing, but I was talking to my friend and he thinks I’m too much of perfectionist and have to many expectations for what my clients to do with the photos.
A little backstory which will be short but in 2018/2019 I was apart of an art show invited everyone I know because I was so excited to be showcased in it. The day of majority of my friends told me something came up and my parents literally left half way through it and idk I def wasn’t mentally healthy at the time and I let the demons and inner voice win and basically made me feel like my work wasn’t half as good as what was there.
But since then I’ve been working really hard to get out of the mental state and I guess it’s getting harder now because I had 3 clients kinda played me in the process two of them uploaded the raw (I know I know Im going to get the witch hunt for it) but they put those to social media and didn’t even tag (both of them) so I commented my credits. I got annoyed because they told me they loved all of them and gave no indication they where upset so to see them not tag me or even a thank you was just wild in my eyes but my friend told me you got paid and you capture the moment so what does it matter if you get credit? And that irk me bc he’s a writer musician bc he doesn’t necessarily understand the point of tagging and how important it is for our business and this one other girl who loved shooting with me and nice verse I did a pageant shoot for her announcement and I went on IG to see the announcement with other pictures and like WTH and my same friend told me I got paid and you shouldn’t expect other to do stuff with your pictures and I agree with that however I guess I hate the fact I’m told “they are great” and “omg beautiful” “I love this yesss” and they don’t even use them
I’m coming here because I just want insight from other photographers and just see how yall would handle this
Thank you so much 🫶🏼 Again please don’t hate me for the raw photos I regret it so much and will never do it again 😭

TRIGGER WARNING- SA, etc.
It's a very very long story and there's more that I could go on about but- My parents had me young, mom (19), bio dad (21). They separated when I was around 3 or 4 y/o and that's when my dad (19) (that later adopted me) came into my life. When he went to adopt me at about 7 y/o, before sibling 1 was born, they needed bio dad to release his rights; he agreed on one condition from my mom, 'Don't talk to my family anymore, I will handle it'. So he signed, with the additional agreement that he would not have to pay child support, dad adopted me. I ended up with 1 little sibling and I wanted nothing to do with bio dad at this point, he was already out of my life since the adoption. At around 12 years old, my parents started their divorce, moms second divorce. This divorce was completely different. At first, I hated my (adopted) dad but then again, he used to work 3 jobs to support us, only had 1 day off and used it as a "cleaning day" (which I later appreciated as an adult because I had SEVERE allergies, but in the moment I was just like wtf man fr?) From 13 y/o to about 15 y/o my moms at the time bf was sexually abusing me, forcing me to "cuddle" on the couch, he would pretend to fall asleep (in 5 seconds) and touch my non existent boobs and coochie while grinding his boner against my butt until he had enough. I would lay there silently crying until he actually fell asleep, slowly crawl away, and be up the whole rest of the school night, in shock, crying, cutting myself, and writing very depressing poems. He would break open the bathroom door while I was bathing and would try to peep at me in the tub. I'd cover myself under the bubble bath for HOURS until I had no bubbles and the water was cold. I then tried hurting myself even worse but sibling walked in on me. I broke down and thought if I do this, this dude is going to go for my sibling so I'll just take whatever it is to protect them. So I did. I dealt with all the things plus him walking in on me SERVERAL times in my bedroom each time after I'd have a bath/shower (no lock on the door). This guy also apparently would hit, strangle, and rape my mom. I came to find out that he had a record too, he and his brother abducted a 17 y/o or 18 y/o girl, took her to a trap house, raped her in a bathroom with a pole-blood in the tub, sink, toilet, floor, etc. He also was busted because he put a garbage bag over another man's head and lit it on fire-because the man was black. (Dude ended up being dishonorably discharged later on btw) Eventually, she got rid of him, dated a bit, and settled with a new bf, my now step dad of over 10 years. At this point, I was 16 y/o, had a GREAT relationship with (adopted) dad (not so much my mom), and became curious about my bio dad-where I came from, family customs/traditions, similarities/differences, interests, the other half of who I am. I found him on social media, reached out but didn't get a response for 2-3 weeks. Shortly after us chatting, I went to see him (adopted dad and sibling 1 came with). I had 2 more siblings from bio dad, they were a decade or so younger than me, and sibling 3 didn't resemble me much but did with sibling 2 BUT sibling 2 looked so much like me at that age, weird. A short time later, there was a family event by bio dad, I was invited but had no way to get there (about a 6 hour drive from where I was at the time) so his sistemy aunt said she'd take me. She picked me up and I was to spend the night at her house (with my 2 cousins) then we would travel in the morning. I was so excited because I vaguely remember cousin 1 from childhood, apparently we were super close growing up together, I was eager to reconnect and bond with my cousins. When spending the night, cousin 2 went to sleep early (a bit younger than cousin 1 and I), so cousin 1 and I were talking for hours, it was great being able to reconnect/re-establish our relationship...until he kissed me, threw himself on me, tried getting me to touch him as he started to touch me. I said stop wtf what are you doing we are FIRST cousins!! He chuckled and said "We are but we're not" ... "wtf are you talking about?" ... "I'm not supposed to say but your dad had a DNA test done during tour parents divorce and told all of us your mom cheated on him, you're not ACTUALLY his acoording to the test" ... so at this point, I'm disgusted, have so many questions, confused, am in a house of 'family' that I don't know/don't believe that I am family-I went to sleep. Next day we traveled to see bio dad and after the event I asked him and step mom about it and also mentioned that because of this cousin 1 tried "xyz". Bio dad's response to the DNA-"Your mother had the DNA test done and it said I was not your bio father, she probably lied/gave me a fake test so I would stay out of your life." I went to my mom and questioned her, she said "Absolutely not, you know your (adopted) father and I don't talk so you can even ask him to verify that I'm not lying. I have no idea about anything that has to do with a DNA test, we never had one as he (bio das) was my first and we got married then I was prengant with you about 3-4 months after getting married." I asked (adopted) dad and his story lined up perfectly with my mom's. So bio dad lied to me and his entire side of the family to save face. He lied to all of them because his agreement of giving up his rights to me and not having to pay child support would not have been supported by his side of the family so he told them I wasn't his and supposedly provided a (fake) test so they'd get off his back about it. My grandfather from him said he saw the test-but there was no test! Beyond fucked up man...but whatever. I still wanted a connection. I wanted to leave the bullshit in the past and move forward right? So, fast forward a bit, I was in a 3 year (3 out of 3.5 year) relationship with a TRUE P.O.S. bf that was physically, mentally, emotionally, and verbally abusive. We lived together for 3 years out of our 3.5 year relationship. He was addicted to porn, would call me a bitch every single day amoung other things, ended up raping me and thought it was funny, would hit, kick, choke me (not in the good way), and push me off the bed but then say "You think I want to be like this?! You think I want to do this to you?! Hurt you?! You're making me do it, it's your fault because you have issues." I wasn't "allowed" to talk to my guy friends because they're guys (and I didn't have many girl friends at all), especially my best guy friend that I grew up with and had known since 3 y/o. Bf would isolate me from my families even. At work, I only would talk to my guy friends/male co-workers if bf wasn't there otherwise he would ignore me the whole shift and be brutal when we got home (yeah, we also worked together for a bit over 3 years). I then found out that bf went on the dark web and watched a man kidnap someone, rape her, murder her, and proceed to rape her corpse...my bf was getting off on it! He even said he went back on the next night to do it again but site was blocked. FUCKING PSYCHOTIC. I could go on and on about his craziness. I was his 3rd virgin btw and at work we had a "work daughter" (was so close to that girl, she was 3 years younger than me, 5 years younger than bf and I used to go to her (when bf didnt have same shift as me) crying and telling her everything that would happen with him, so she knew all the shit he did). I was scared he was going to kill me one day, I was scared to stay, scared to leave, all the stupid things and all I wanted was consistent love. We did end up breaking up a few months after I turned 21, he ended up dating our work daughter and took her virginity too! He also did all the shit to her as he did to me! I felt bad for her at first but then thought no you dumb fuck, you knew EVERYTHING you were getting into smh. Anyway, I went to a family event for bio dad, bf was working, they wanted to meet him; we set up lunch for the following day. Bio dad said he was going to give bf the "talk" yk...with the shot gun type of talk. I said I don't feel comfortable with that because firstly, it's not his place, I have my dad (adopted), secondly, bio dad even agreed that we more so have a friend relationship at this point, and third, I've already been with bf for 3 years so it's not appropriate. He got REALLY salty the morning of the meet. We were coordinating plans and everything when he said along the lines, "We haven't seen you in person for almost 2 years now yet you always have time to go out...etc.etc." I responded, "The two times that you have seen me post that I was out, I was across the street from work. I went there for about 2 hours both times with bf and co-workers. I cannot drive 6-8 hours to you and 6-8 hours back in the same day. I work two full time jobs and am going to college online full-time. I'm sorry that I'm making you feel this way or that I've been distant but I try talking and seeing you all (on Skype and such) as much as I can. I don't know what else you want me to do or say at this point. That's why I'm excited for this meet up today. You also could have put in the effort to come out this way these last two years to visit me as well, but again, I'm sorry. I hope you all aren't mad at me, I'm really trying here." He then tells me "I'm going to have to cancel lunch today. I don't think meeting today is a good idea. Now I'm going to have to tell your (LITTLE) siblings that you don't want to see them today since you never have time for us and have basically disappeared from our lives these last 2 years." Aaaaand that's when I ✨️lost✨️ my shit and popped off 🙃 "ME?! I'm the one that disappeared?!?! How fucking dare you say that. How fucking dare you try to do that to them and me. YOU disappeared from MY life at 4 years old, LIED to the entire family (they still questioned if I'm "there's" or not, even had received the comment "Even though you're not ours, your ours because we've known you since a baby" and only 1 of bio dad's parents is still somewhat in touch with me to this day btw) I didn't see YOU for 12 YEARS of my life! I reached out to YOU, I have been the only one making an effort to keep the line of communication open and going and even after all of that plus my explaining that I work TWO full-time jobs plus full-time school, you still have the nerve and audacity to make me the bad guy and say I'm the one not trying here?! YOU are going to continue to LIE and tell MY siblings that I don't want to see them when that couldn't be further from the truth?! I'm going to tell you this ONCE, YOU blew your first chance of staying in my life when I was a child, now you're blowing it a SECOND time with me as an adult; there WILL NOT be a third time. I WILL NOT subject myself to this nor do I need your added stress. I WILL NOT allow you to do this to me EVER again. If my siblings or even step mom (or that side of the family) want to be in contact with me-I will gladly accept that but YOU are DEAD to me. Don't talk to me, don't contact me, I want NOTHING to do with YOU anymore, sperm donor." ... no response ...every couple of years after that I got a "happy birthday" or "merry christmas" here and there but I never responded. It's been a few years with no interaction from him. I just miss my siblings. I got so attached to them and I miss them, I tried staying in contact through video chats but they were still fairly young at that point so it was difficult plus having him or step mom in the background sometimes was awkward. They're now getting a bit older, sibling 2 is turning 18, sibling 3 will be 16. We have each other on social media but don't talk and very very VERY rarely interact with likes on posts. I'm afraid to make the first move, I don't want to push anything, I don't know what bio dad has been feeding into their brains about me, etc. My relationship with them will NEVER be as close as with my almost 21 y/o sibling 1 from (adopted) dad, which I can accept, I absolutely love my sibling 1 that I grew up with like nothing and no one else; I practically raised him tbh. But I do think about the other 2 siblings, I miss them, I just don't know if I should respect unspoken boundaries or make the first move? What do you think? And lmk if you want more of these batshit crazy stories that I've went through (tbh I'm probably going to post another seeking advice on another subject). ✌🏻

For context, My (14 f) parents got divorced last year in April. My sister (16 f) and I only see my dad once every 1-2 weeks because of our busy schedules. He has dated multiple women since the divorce, and even messaged multiple women at once. This caused a few arguments between us, but eventually ended when he started dating his current gf, who he has now been dating for 6 months. He constantly tries to pressure us into meeting her by inviting us to places but only telling us she will be there after we have agreed. This has also caused a lot of arguments, resulting in us being called cruel, manipulative and disappointments (amongst many other insults) by him. I have argued back with worse insults, which has definitely fueled these arguments even more.
He always compares our relationship with his gf to our relationship with our mums bf, which I think is a very different scenario. We have met our mum's bf and see him more often than we see our dad, so we have a good relationship with him. There seems to be an expectation that we will be alright with my dads gf always being there when we see him, however I don't think we should have to see my dad's gf, because the time we have with our dad is already limited, and he shouldn't be spending time with her instead of us while he has us.
My sister and I have both felt upset about his relationship with her because he sees her significantly more often then he sees us, and has even seen her son more frequently recently. We feel like we aren't very important to him, and that he prioritises his gf, work and his hobbies over us.
Recently the pressure to meet her has been even higher because he has told us they are thinking about moving in together, and he doesn't want to "live to separate lives". We have repeatedly told him that we will meet his gf when we feel ready, but we want to focus of fixing our relationship with him before introducing new people.
Yesterday he informed us that he would like to "put our relationship on hold" until we are "open minded and kind" towards his gf. However I believe that we are already open minded, because we've said that we will meet her when we are ready. On top of this, he seems to have recently decided that our opinions don't matter, and has immediately disregarded anything we say, instead deciding that we need to "compromise". I do believe that we need to compromise, but I'm not prepared to sacrifice anything while he doesn't really contribute anything to our relationship. Compromising should go both ways, but currently he isn't compromising at all.
He's basically presented us with an ultimatum, where we either meet his gf and play happy families with him or completely stop seeing eachother. I'm not really sure what to do. AITA for not meeting his gf?

TRIGGER WARNING- SA, etc.
It's a very very long story and there's more that I could go on about but- My parents had me young, mom (19), bio dad (21). They separated when I was around 3 or 4 y/o and that's when my dad (19) (that later adopted me) came into my life. When he went to adopt me at about 7 y/o, before sibling 1 was born, they needed bio dad to release his rights; he agreed on one condition from my mom, 'Don't talk to my family anymore, I will handle it'. So he signed, with the additional agreement that he would not have to pay child support, dad adopted me. I ended up with 1 little sibling and I wanted nothing to do with bio dad at this point, he was already out of my life since the adoption. At around 12 years old, my parents started their divorce, moms second divorce. This divorce was completely different. At first, I hated my (adopted) dad but then again, he used to work 3 jobs to support us, only had 1 day off and used it as a "cleaning day" (which I later appreciated as an adult because I had SEVERE allergies, but in the moment I was just like wtf man fr?) From 13 y/o to about 15 y/o my moms at the time bf was sexually abusing me, forcing me to "cuddle" on the couch, he would pretend to fall asleep (in 5 seconds) and touch my non existent boobs and coochie while grinding his boner against my butt until he had enough. I would lay there silently crying until he actually fell asleep, slowly crawl away, and be up the whole rest of the school night, in shock, crying, cutting myself, and writing very depressing poems. He would break open the bathroom door while I was bathing and would try to peep at me in the tub. I'd cover myself under the bubble bath for HOURS until I had no bubbles and the water was cold. I then tried hurting myself even worse but sibling walked in on me. I broke down and thought if I do this, this dude is going to go for my sibling so I'll just take whatever it is to protect them. So I did. I dealt with all the things plus him walking in on me SERVERAL times in my bedroom each time after I'd have a bath/shower (no lock on the door). This guy also apparently would hit, strangle, and rape my mom. I came to find out that he had a record too, he and his brother abducted a 17 y/o or 18 y/o girl, took her to a trap house, raped her in a bathroom with a pole-blood in the tub, sink, toilet, floor, etc. He also was busted because he put a garbage bag over another man's head and lit it on fire-because the man was black. (Dude ended up being dishonorably discharged later on btw) Eventually, she got rid of him, dated a bit, and settled with a new bf, my now step dad of over 10 years. At this point, I was 16 y/o, had a GREAT relationship with (adopted) dad (not so much my mom), and became curious about my bio dad-where I came from, family customs/traditions, similarities/differences, interests, the other half of who I am. I found him on social media, reached out but didn't get a response for 2-3 weeks. Shortly after us chatting, I went to see him (adopted dad and sibling 1 came with). I had 2 more siblings from bio dad, they were a decade or so younger than me, and sibling 3 didn't resemble me much but did with sibling 2 BUT sibling 2 looked so much like me at that age, weird. A short time later, there was a family event by bio dad, I was invited but had no way to get there (about a 6 hour drive from where I was at the time) so his sistemy aunt said she'd take me. She picked me up and I was to spend the night at her house (with my 2 cousins) then we would travel in the morning. I was so excited because I vaguely remember cousin 1 from childhood, apparently we were super close growing up together, I was eager to reconnect and bond with my cousins. When spending the night, cousin 2 went to sleep early (a bit younger than cousin 1 and I), so cousin 1 and I were talking for hours, it was great being able to reconnect/re-establish our relationship...until he kissed me, threw himself on me, tried getting me to touch him as he started to touch me. I said stop wtf what are you doing we are FIRST cousins!! He chuckled and said "We are but we're not" ... "wtf are you talking about?" ... "I'm not supposed to say but your dad had a DNA test done during tour parents divorce and told all of us your mom cheated on him, you're not ACTUALLY his acoording to the test" ... so at this point, I'm disgusted, have so many questions, confused, am in a house of 'family' that I don't know/don't believe that I am family-I went to sleep. Next day we traveled to see bio dad and after the event I asked him and step mom about it and also mentioned that because of this cousin 1 tried "xyz". Bio dad's response to the DNA-"Your mother had the DNA test done and it said I was not your bio father, she probably lied/gave me a fake test so I would stay out of your life." I went to my mom and questioned her, she said "Absolutely not, you know your (adopted) father and I don't talk so you can even ask him to verify that I'm not lying. I have no idea about anything that has to do with a DNA test, we never had one as he (bio das) was my first and we got married then I was prengant with you about 3-4 months after getting married." I asked (adopted) dad and his story lined up perfectly with my mom's. So bio dad lied to me and his entire side of the family to save face. He lied to all of them because his agreement of giving up his rights to me and not having to pay child support would not have been supported by his side of the family so he told them I wasn't his and supposedly provided a (fake) test so they'd get off his back about it. My grandfather from him said he saw the test-but there was no test! Beyond fucked up man...but whatever. I still wanted a connection. I wanted to leave the bullshit in the past and move forward right? So, fast forward a bit, I was in a 3 year (3 out of 3.5 year) relationship with a TRUE P.O.S. bf that was physically, mentally, emotionally, and verbally abusive. We lived together for 3 years out of our 3.5 year relationship. He was addicted to porn, would call me a bitch every single day amoung other things, ended up raping me and thought it was funny, would hit, kick, choke me (not in the good way), and push me off the bed but then say "You think I want to be like this?! You think I want to do this to you?! Hurt you?! You're making me do it, it's your fault because you have issues." I wasn't "allowed" to talk to my guy friends because they're guys (and I didn't have many girl friends at all), especially my best guy friend that I grew up with and had known since 3 y/o. Bf would isolate me from my families even. At work, I only would talk to my guy friends/male co-workers if bf wasn't there otherwise he would ignore me the whole shift and be brutal when we got home (yeah, we also worked together for a bit over 3 years). I then found out that bf went on the dark web and watched a man kidnap someone, rape her, murder her, and proceed to rape her corpse...my bf was getting off on it! He even said he went back on the next night to do it again but site was blocked. FUCKING PSYCHOTIC. I could go on and on about his craziness. I was his 3rd virgin btw and at work we had a "work daughter" (was so close to that girl, she was 3 years younger than me, 5 years younger than bf and I used to go to her (when bf didnt have same shift as me) crying and telling her everything that would happen with him, so she knew all the shit he did). I was scared he was going to kill me one day, I was scared to stay, scared to leave, all the stupid things and all I wanted was consistent love. We did end up breaking up a few months after I turned 21, he ended up dating our work daughter and took her virginity too! He also did all the shit to her as he did to me! I felt bad for her at first but then thought no you dumb fuck, you knew EVERYTHING you were getting into smh. Anyway, I went to a family event for bio dad, bf was working, they wanted to meet him; we set up lunch for the following day. Bio dad said he was going to give bf the "talk" yk...with the shot gun type of talk. I said I don't feel comfortable with that because firstly, it's not his place, I have my dad (adopted), secondly, bio dad even agreed that we more so have a friend relationship at this point, and third, I've already been with bf for 3 years so it's not appropriate. He got REALLY salty the morning of the meet. We were coordinating plans and everything when he said along the lines, "We haven't seen you in person for almost 2 years now yet you always have time to go out...etc.etc." I responded, "The two times that you have seen me post that I was out, I was across the street from work. I went there for about 2 hours both times with bf and co-workers. I cannot drive 6-8 hours to you and 6-8 hours back in the same day. I work two full time jobs and am going to college online full-time. I'm sorry that I'm making you feel this way or that I've been distant but I try talking and seeing you all (on Skype and such) as much as I can. I don't know what else you want me to do or say at this point. That's why I'm excited for this meet up today. You also could have put in the effort to come out this way these last two years to visit me as well, but again, I'm sorry. I hope you all aren't mad at me, I'm really trying here." He then tells me "I'm going to have to cancel lunch today. I don't think meeting today is a good idea. Now I'm going to have to tell your (LITTLE) siblings that you don't want to see them today since you never have time for us and have basically disappeared from our lives these last 2 years." Aaaaand that's when I ✨️lost✨️ my shit and popped off 🙃 "ME?! I'm the one that disappeared?!?! How fucking dare you say that. How fucking dare you try to do that to them and me. YOU disappeared from MY life at 4 years old, LIED to the entire family (they still questioned if I'm "there's" or not, even had received the comment "Even though you're not ours, your ours because we've known you since a baby" and only 1 of bio dad's parents is still somewhat in touch with me to this day btw) I didn't see YOU for 12 YEARS of my life! I reached out to YOU, I have been the only one making an effort to keep the line of communication open and going and even after all of that plus my explaining that I work TWO full-time jobs plus full-time school, you still have the nerve and audacity to make me the bad guy and say I'm the one not trying here?! YOU are going to continue to LIE and tell MY siblings that I don't want to see them when that couldn't be further from the truth?! I'm going to tell you this ONCE, YOU blew your first chance of staying in my life when I was a child, now you're blowing it a SECOND time with me as an adult; there WILL NOT be a third time. I WILL NOT subject myself to this nor do I need your added stress. I WILL NOT allow you to do this to me EVER again. If my siblings or even step mom (or that side of the family) want to be in contact with me-I will gladly accept that but YOU are DEAD to me. Don't talk to me, don't contact me, I want NOTHING to do with YOU anymore, sperm donor." ... no response ...every couple of years after that I got a "happy birthday" or "merry christmas" here and there but I never responded. It's been a few years with no interaction from him. I just miss my siblings. I got so attached to them and I miss them, I tried staying in contact through video chats but they were still fairly young at that point so it was difficult plus having him or step mom in the background sometimes was awkward. They're now getting a bit older, sibling 2 is turning 18, sibling 3 will be 16. We have each other on social media but don't talk and very very VERY rarely interact with likes on posts. I'm afraid to make the first move, I don't want to push anything, I don't know what bio dad has been feeding into their brains about me, etc. My relationship with them will NEVER be as close as with my almost 21 y/o sibling 1 from (adopted) dad, which I can accept, I absolutely love my sibling 1 that I grew up with like nothing and no one else; I practically raised him tbh. But I do think about the other 2 siblings, I miss them, I just don't know if I should respect unspoken boundaries or make the first move? What do you think? And lmk if you want more of these batshit crazy stories that I've went through (tbh I'm probably going to post another seeking advice on another subject). ✌🏻

This would be a multi-episode debacle. But it starts with Yuri discovering Loyd is twilight. Maybe Yuri is put on security detail at Eden academy to watch over Desmond and the other politicians. A server comes and offers some exotic finer treat, Yuri accepts but just as he puts the treat in his mouth he catches the very distinct scent of yours perfume on a random teach (Loyd in disguise). This leads Yuri inform his commander that he has to leave his post to use the restroom. He follows the teacher letting all kinds of scenarios play out in his head. Maybe he’s been burglarizing the Forgers to sleep on Yor’s bed, or maybe, he thinks to himself, he’s kidnapped her. But as he peers into the classroom to see what the man is up to, he watches Loyd pull off the mask, revealing himself to intact be twilight as he got what he needed from the professors’ table.
At this point in the story I like to think Yuri and Loyd were finally starting to bond, because Loyd had taken Yuri out and explained his childhood in the war to him and explained Yor felt like she captured that innocence he had lost so many years ago, and he would swear to Yuri, down on one knee that he would never let anything happen to Yor or Anya. And for the maybe the first time in the show, we see Loyd genuinely confess his love of Anya and Yor in a tearful and honest speech about his shame. The same of not speaking to him before marrying Yor (lying to Yor and Anya for his governments gain), shame for letting this obvious animosity swelter in Yuri (knowing that the family is fraudulent and wanting more than anything for it to be real). So Yuri would bend down on one knee to and grab Loyd by his shoulders and let him know that he forgives him, and will welcome him into his life openly.
So Yuri, in shock, grabs his mouth and then his head blind with rage tears out some hair. “That bastard lied!” Thoughts foaming from Yuri’s thoughts, “he’s been using my sister to spy on me, using his daughter to spy on the politicians at this school!” Yuri grabs the door knob with one hand and grips his pistol with the other. “I’m gonna kill you!” He seethes with rage and grit teeth. Then he stops as he notices on pitch black strand of hair resting on his shoulder. He remembers their night at dinner. “Yor,” Yuri pauses, “how will I explain this to Yor? How will I explain my sister is ‘married’ to the one man we’ve been searching for for years? They’d blame her- they’d never believe she was probably forced and coerced for years by Twilght. They’d torture her. I could help my sister escape! No, we’d never get past all those ‘Type-F’s’. I can’t do this now.” He releases the doorknob. He backs away dropping some hair as he makes his way back to post. He’s superior sees how red-faced and uncomfortable he looks. He also notices the clumps of hair ripped out of his head. The same waiter comes up with more treats and offers for a second time, Yuri ignores him and the superior fearfully shoos the waiter and treats away.
We know are with Loyd and the handler, she informs Loyd of some intel they’ve just uncovered. Apparently, the ostanian government has been constructing bombs and bombers. Twilight needs to discover a safe way in for the Westalias Covert Operators overseeing Controlled and Improvised Explosive Security (COOCIES ‘cookies’). At the same time Yuri is giving a debriefing on how to finally put an ed to Twilight (without implicating his sister). “Leak the bombs they’ve been constructing to WISE. They will send Twilight if we beef up security. Type-F’s on every corner, assassins on every roof, WISE will be forced to use their best assest, Twilight.” The superiors are skeptical but agree and issue the order to mobilize a unit of Type-F’s and begin contracting assassins. One of them of course being… Thorn princess.

I already made the first post regarding episode 1 and 2, here are the links, if you are interested:
https://www.reddit.com/PolinBridgerton/comments/1d8p07y/analysing_thematic_imagery_of_season_3_episode_1/
https://www.reddit.com/PolinBridgerton/comments/1daa5se/analysing_thematic_imagery_of_season_3_episode_2/
Same note as before: I do not claim all of these thoughts as originals of mine, I am not taking credit for noticing what others already noticed, and feel free to credit those who were first in comments. Also feel free to comment what you see and I do not! Or challenge me or mine.
I shall do my best to deliver analysis of the fourth episode before part 2 drops.
General imagery of the season so far (feel free to skip if you read the last post or posts):
The main thematic imagery of this season is reflection; how characters are perceived by others and how they deal with those perceptions. It ties to both leads, who were given roles by society which they must fight from time to time, and how society’s perception of them changes and controls them. Mirror imagery was important throughout the previous season not only for Pen and Colin, however in this season in particular, mirror imagery appears very often, and I expected it to continue (ehem ehem).
Tied closely to reflection imagery, we see the dichotomy of light and shadows. This dichotomy is alluded to by titles of 3 episodes of the whole season; and through this dichotomy, social roles and expectations are established. Colin is in the light, showered by compliments from members of the Ton, while Pen is forced to be in the shadows. She uses the shadows as LW to her advantage, while Colin uses his power within the light to his advantage.
The general idea is that Pen needs to decide whether she wants to stay in the shadows, which might be easier, or whether she is willing to take a risk by stepping into the light. Other characters are also haunted by their reflections. I shall dive into it in each episode.
Episode 3: Forces of Nature
While the second episode heavilly relied on the dichotomy of the day and the night to showcase masculine and feminine power, the third episode features dichotomy of nature and humanity. I have very briefly touched upon it in previous analysis regarding the promenade, when Pen asks whether she can learn to flirt through books and the moment was juxtaposed with the nature behind our leads.
It is not a new dichotomy for the show. We can for example remember the ending of episode 6 from previous season ("Animals require no contracts or dowries. The hen and a rooster make no vows. Leave it to people to complicate matters with their ceremonies and their cakes.").
The nature represents the attraction and longing, while the humanity represents either obstacles in following our desires, or simply a rationale to be "sensible" instead. Lady Whistledown acknowledges that people can somewhat triumph ("Humankind has accomplished extraordinary feats in its attempt to compete against nature."), but the episodes concludes that not only will the nature win in the end, the battle does not even include the nature, but the people who fight themselves. Basically concluding that there are no winners.
"All of man's greatest inventions are nothing more than a distraction from which is most natural to us. Our instincts. The innate animal impulse that is inside even the most sophisticated of us. For all is said and done, our nature will always win out."
Both Penelope and Colin fail to fight their own feelings in this episode.
While the natural forces refer to inner desires, we might focus on the literal natural forces which symbolize them: the Featherington garden (aka the place of crime), and the fire; the most featured in this episode, though, is the wind. The natural force which ensured the first meeting of our leads and (at least according to the books and trailer for part 2), caused Penelope to fall for Colin, as he (literally) fell from his horse.
I shall get to it more later. Let's go again scene by scene.
Third episode begins with Colin's dream. Dreams are of course heavilly linked with both Colin, Pen and their desires. Ironically, Colin's dream represents his waking up Marina alluded to in the last season ("You are a boy, caught up in his own fantasies... You need to wake up, Colin!").
While Penelope stopped dreaming and gave up on her "fantasy" after Colin's comment in the end of season 2 ("I would never dream of courting Penelope Featherington, not in your wildest fantasies."), Colin is awaken at the same place, in a cheeky way, by his dream.
The Featherington garden represents crucial moments of their relationship so far. Firstly, it was the place where he broke her heart by his statement, and sparked her intention to marry. Secondly, of course, it was the place where they came to their agreement, with her agreeing to move from him by accepting his help, while he put himself in a vulnerable position to face feelings he did not acknowledge before. Thirdly, it is the place where he was forced to face his feelings VERY directly by agreeing to kiss her.
Colin's subcontious wants to "repair" the moment. It is cheeky for Colin to apologize for the late hour, which might have been appropriate for their last meeting, as well.
Fans have had a lot of fun dissecting Colin's psyche, as Colin's dream features basically every cliché of a raunchy romance novel, which is, of course, very intentional. The first shot features the fire burning, symbolizing Colin's realized feelings. The fog might either allude to the mystery whether Colin's love is requited, or to form a "protection from the gazes of others".
This episode offers a lot storytelling through clothing with Colin especially, and I shall dive to each of his looks. Generally speaking, Colin trades vulnerability for his armor repeatedly in the first half of the episode, culminating in his Innovations Ball look, which I find the most vulnerable.
Colin in his dream is dressed similarly as he was in the end of episode 2, however, his neck is now bare, alluding to his vulnerability. Pen's neckline is lower, her loose hair as well as the fit of the gown make it seem like she is in her nightgown. Still, it is very respectable look for a wet dream, likely to showcase and hammer that Colin did not found vulnerability anew, not sexual desire.
I find it interesting that the shot does not start with Colin walking into the frame, who is the one dreaming, but with Penelope. Perhaps the intention was to try to mess with fans and give them the impression it is Pen who dreams. Colin does not get confirmation of her feelings until he admits his. Again, Colin is the vulnerable this time, not Penelope. The scene focuses much more on her pleasure than his, either to again fool the audience, or again, to sell the difference.
As Colin wakes up, we get more visual clues in the globe and the map, likely alluding to his travelling experience, which are connected to his sexuality. The other is, of course, that his blanket is yellow, a color tied to Pen (resembling the shal Violet has in the portrait, again to sell the paraller of the couples, even before Violet states it to the audience at the end of this episode). He looks to the window, which might allude to him trying to find her, as she lives accross the street, which he likely did for the first time in last episode, or trying to find the light, representing a) his social role as a popular charming rake, and b) his masculine power.
Gregory's injury might thematically tie to multiple things. Gregory was established as a cupid, who pierces Colin's heart, and who now can't do so, meaning that Colin is trapped. Gregory can also represent Colin himself as he can't even properly eat with his injury, which was something Colin also mentioned of not being able to do so. We know that Gregory falls injures the hand before he has a chance to see the balloon, which might foreshadow the ending of the episode, when Colin tries to find the answer, only to not get it and be hurt.
Colin comes to the drawing room in a brown vest. The color of the vest reminds me of his pirate coat, and I wonder whether it is basically his "casual armor", the one he wears around his family now, not wanting them to know of his feelings. It is also worth pointing out that when Colin walks in, he goes to his brothers who sit seperately from the sisters and the mother, almost to shocase Colin's tendency to trying to follow male squad, even the toxic one.
Our dearest prophetess Hyacinth strikes again by mentioning Penelope. It is worth noting that while Colin is distressed, he still realizes that he likely hurt Eloise by commenting on Lady Whistledown finding about their ordeal, and seems to attempt to follow her to make sure she is fine. Colin can't refer to Penelope as his or as a friend, so he opts to refers to her as the acquaintance of the whole family and sips the tea this time. Colin's drinking is a recurring gag this season, showcasing his growing attraction towards Pen.
From the Queen's and Agatha's meeting, we get an interesting gag of the male suitors being thrown. Penelope fell for Colin when he fell from the horse, which is rather cheeky to remember when the one falling this time is Debling.
Penelope leaves her room just in time for her to a) be reminded of the importance of producing an heir, b) be reminded of her reasons she intended to find a husband, hearing her sisters. I believe that it is Eloise's comment that sparks Pen's hope to find a husband once again, as she gets her blessing. Penelope knew she couldn't stay away for long, but to keep her column, not because she gained hope.
It is quite reasonable that Penelope chose to promenade after week in her room. We are left to wonder why Colin choose to do so and if he was perhaps trying to see her. However, from his expression, I do believe that he was surprised to see her. Colin is the one who follows Pen this episode, showcasing the change in the dynamic. Penelope often followed him instead in the previous episode.
Penelope's styling seems very childish, with her ribbons, hair to the side and pinkish and lilac tone of her dress, perhaps a visual way for her to distance herself from the ordeal and that kiss. Colin is wearing the style akin to previous seasons, with his armor being left home. They are children once again. The willow the meet under might symbolize innocence, protection, childhood, as it somewhat shields them from the Ton. The long distance show might allude to them suddenly feeling a gap between themselves, or perhaps a need to keep their distance after the whole ordeal.
It is cheeky that Penelope relies on her double identity when asked for a reasoning. She might have just as easily pointed out the Ton itself, instead, she uses Lady Whistledown she disparaged in the last episode. Just as Colin refered to the Pen in regards to all Bridgertons, Penelope refers to her and his family regarding the embarassment. Pen thanking Colin for his kindness is of course very funny paraller to her comment about his cruelty in episode 1; a comment which might have hurt him the same.
Debling starts the episode as the hunted "prey", not only as Cressida (and later Pen) is after him, but by himself, as he wants to find a hiding place. However, Debling of course changes into the "predator" later.
Stowell House in general does not seem particularly inviting. It either displays mirrors or the "prey" on the walls, signalling Pen's entrapment. Penelope does not hide even in her corner, where she is found by the toxic buddies.
Penelope assures her mother that Ton will likely be distracted by the new scandal. Portia of course does not know that it is Penelope herself who is Lady Whistledown, and who might have a chance to publish such a scandal, but only if Pen leaves her hideout. Pen later offers social contagion as a joke, which might be a fun way of alluding to her double identity, as she holds a bit of power regarding social assesment.
Mirror imagery is quite cheeky regarding our leads and Debling. Pen's back is seen in mirror behind her, which might signal that she is currently social outcast, still uncomfortable after the incident, or visual signal of Pen hiding her identity.
With Colin's arrival, it is Pen who looks at him first, just when he looks at Eloise. Colin notices and continues to look, while Pen looks away and hides as a "prey". Colin turns away and we see a glimpse of him in the mirror. Pen fell first, but he fell harder. Colin flees the mirror, as he will continue to do so in this episode, following her.
Debling does not mind the mirror at all (something he seems to share with Agatha and Benedict) and as Pen becomes more comfortable, the mirror seems to dissapear from the shot. It is worth pointing out that both Colin and Debling have waistcoats with yellow ornaments, alluding to both of them being interested in Pen.
Colin is accompanied by the candles both when Eloise mentions Penelope, as well as when he is "assessing his pupil", alluding to his growing love. I do not think it was unintentional to have Alice mention his "kindheartedness", after Penelope thanks him for his "kindness". Not only do both mention the possibility of a different suitor, they also use similar language when speaking of Colin's role in it, rubbing the idea deeper.
Even more cheeky is that Alice does not refer to Penelope by name, only as a pupil, while Colin comments on it as "gossip" finding their home. Colin refers to Whistledown when asked about Penelope; while Pen is, of course, both subject of the gossip as well as its source as lady Whistledown.
Eloise'a and Cressida's scene alludes to Eloise walking to the crossroads and choosing a path she might regret. Eloise does not help Cressida much, but it is enough for her to easily win over Pen at first.
Finally, we get likely the most in face reference of the episode: Hawkins Balloon, with its blue and yellow stripes. It likely symbolizes our leads, with Colin seeing the balloon (aka embracing the opportunity of them becoming a couple), while Pen ignores it in favour of Debling.
Colin arrives in his armor, aka with his pirate coat firmly on. But his defence crumble rather quickly. He follows Penelope immedietely. At first, he follows her instruction to focus on sweets, but more and more into the scene, he just begins to look at Pen, the only exception is when Pen compliments Debling, as he feels a need to hide his feelings.
Colin loses his battle while seeing Pen eating the cake. The cake symbolized sex even back in 102, when Pen asks Marina how did she become pregnant. What is striking, though, that the next time Colin is shown on screen, he took off his coat and seems to finish Penelope's cake. Colin lets his armor down, just before his heroic moment.
The balloon is representation of a human attempt to "triumph" over the nature, to "conquer the wind". Funnily, as Colin with the help of his squad protects the balloon and wins over the wind, he loses his own battle against it internally, as the wind represents his desire for Penelope. Colin finds courage and allows himself to be vulnerable (by leaving the pirate coat, his armor, behind in the arms of one of his toxic buddies), only for him to find Penelope in Debling's embrace. Eloise and Cressida's remarks might be quite cruel foreshadowing for the later events. "It is good thing no one was injured." "Who says I wasn't?"
The distress of Colin at Innovations Ball is implied with his darker waistcoat, bare neck and him adjusting his jacket. Colin attempts his best to smile for Eloise, but it is a rather unsuccesful attempt. If I dare say, Colin seems like he is attending funeral. His question whether a man can be pensive is rather interesting, not only as it is pun on Penelope's name, but as Colin asks basically if he can be himself.
Penelope and Portia ignore the lamp, the sorce of fire and light, which I would argue, represents the love between Pen and Colin.
Benedict refers to Francesca as "his shield" from the debutantes, and we see Benedict succeeding in fleeing the debutantes with the sister by his side. Eloise, on the other hand, leaves Colin to them, leaving him "unprotected". This is hammered with Violet, who without the children by her side, becomes the target of Marcus. It is no wonder Francesca finds her man when she is allowed to return to her familiar shadows, with fireplace representing love, passion and desire once again. Benedict, too, fails to "battle the nature", as he finds himself in the embrace of his newest partner, after he meets her at the staircase, with her looking down on him.
As the debutantes ask Colin if he is as heroic on the dancefloor, Colin moves his head instead of answering, while we get the shot of Pen holding her own dancecard. It is quite clear. Colin is losing his chance.
While Penelope's and Cressida's race is for comedic effect, it showcases that a lot of times, women fight over guys they might even want, just because they fear someone else will snatch them. While Cressida is pressured to be married, no one points out that she almost married Jack last season, someone who turned out to be a schemer. Daphne won her own "race", only to end up with Simon. Cressida fails to gain Colin's attention in season 1 and 2 mostly due to her treatment of Penelope and Daphne.
Penelope finds herself on the crossroads between Colin and Debling. She chooses to look at Colin, showcasing to the audience that Pen is romantic at heart. While Colin answers the question of debutantes, he is in fact encouraging himself, but as he can't help but look at her, she takes it as his confirmation of wishing her good luck as a mentor. Just as Pen unknowingly let Colin down in willow scene with her words, Colin just done the same. Cheekily, Debling asks whether Pen has trouble with the balloon, while she answers "not at present". As she gave up on Colin in that instance.
Penelope herself pretends to love nature to secure herself a naturalist, ignoring her own desire to be with Colin. Ironically, she secures the naturalist by openly stating she does not really care about nature, when she cares about what nature represents in this episode. Debling giving Pen lemonade ties narratively to Pen leaving the lemonade at the table during the Full-Moon ball, as well as her leaving it at drawing scene with Colin.
I believe that Debling caught on Colin's feelings at this instant. The reason I believe so is that Pen's dance card was still blank and Pen gave Colin time to react. Debling did not ask Penelope for dance beforehand, and she hoped that Colin would speak... which is something Colin might have realized once Penelope gives Debling his hand and dance card is visible to him.

My wife accidently became good friends with my ex, Jessica, and I am not sure how I should feel about it. I am uncomfortable with this situation and wanted to ask here if I am being an AH to expect my wife to stay away from my ex. For context, we are all in our late 20s.
My wife and I have been married for 1 years and together for 3 years. I dated Jessica for three years during college. Jessica and I had the same major in college. I broke up with her because she was too insecure with me interacting with anyone and I felt like I spent most of my college life walking on eggshells. The breakup was hard on her and we decided to stay friends. Jessica wanted us to get back together, but I had already moved on in my head. Jessica also tried to pressure my parents and sister (who all loved her) to talk to me so that we can get back together. Eventually, I went no-contact with her and blocked her everywhere. I also told my parents and sister to never mention her to me.
Few years later, I met my wife and we clicked instantly. My wife is very easy going and never doubts me. It's really refreshing to be in a relationship where my partner knows how much I love her and never do anything inappropriate. We are very happy together. When I met my wife, we were co-workers, but I switched my job one year into our relationship. So, I know most of the coworkers my wife is friends with. Three months ago, my wife got a new coworker friend named Jessica. It's a common name, and I never connected the dots. My wife told me Jessica had the funniest dating stories and she became part of her inner circle at work. It's mostly 5 girls in their late 20s.
Last weekend, my wife went out for a girl's night with her co-worker friends as it was someone's birthday. When she came home, she showed me some of the photos on her phone and I was shocked to see Jessica there. I informed my wife that I dated Jessica in college for three years, and she is the same Jessica who stalked me after the breakup. My wife had never seen her as she was blocked on all my social media account, and I had deleted all her photos.
Maybe I overreacted, but I told my wife that I was not comfortable with her being friends with Jessica. It is just weird to have my wife be friends with an ex I have a long history with. My wife says it's been 8 years since our breakup and life moves on. My wife told me that if I want, she will make sure she does not invite Jessica to our house and give me a heads up when she will be attending dinners when I am invited. I am not sure what I should do here, as if I am not comfortable with my wife to hanging out with her. I don't want to tell my wife to stop being friends with her coworker because I dated her in the past as that is not fair to her too. Any suggestions on what I should do, and if anyone has experience with dealing with their Ex, years after their breakup?

I have recently evolved my beliefs in the last 5-6 years where I no longer consider myself religious, in regards to religious beliefs while also just considering myself spiritual.
I do not follow a title of what I am or anything, but believe in my soul that it's important to do meaningful celebrations and traditions that align with my lifestyle, values, personal beliefs in order to honor my personhood and a healthy balance of ensuring I don't self-abandon myself.
I don't want to put myself into a box ever again, so I just focus on being intuned with myself.
I now think that life is just way too short to do stuff just because that's how you were raised or was taught to do.
I've overcome a lot of religious abuse as well as the mindset in which I was raised and that of my origin family. Some of my most traumatic life experiences happened on the account of my 'upbringing', the beliefs I was raised to believe, a result of religious abuse and generational trauma, where those dogmatic scriptures, beliefs and texts led me to continually go down roads that did not protect me for the simple fact that they pushed 'self-sacrifice' and 'religious-pleasing lifestyles' that do not compliment, protect, and support positive outcomes for women, and sometimes children. I was taught to just do it because that's what the religion inspires, or what the social constructs say to do.
It did not help that I just didn't know any better-I've let go the regret of this innocent ignorance and grief that it initially brought on. Looking back, I cringe at the decisions, choices, and 'enduring' I had survived from that awful upbringing-I now recognize that as, the 'hidden abuse' for a good internal family image-that I too was not aware of until recently, and just the disgusting dysfunctional family dynamic that has revealed itself since I've started to slash those generational curses.
I was abused by one parent growing up by the way, and told the other who did nothing but 'took ME to my extended family's church'. They never stopped it, protected me or stood up for me. Now, much later in adulthood I'm realizing that both of them were abusive, just in different ways and I understand my psycho-emotional disconnect from them and my origin family in general because I spoke up when it happened, even later in early adulthood and I never realized the pattern of describing me as 'dramatic' or continually trying to treat me like a child despite my very grown-up adult age, were and is their way of trying to force suppression of my voice, independence, growth, healness, and strength.
My other siblings are dismissive and become extremely argumentative or defensive of our 'loving parents' with any mention of how we grew up, or verbally attack me/talk about me to other family members like I'm the one with the issues with any effort I put forth to ask questions of why and to hold them accountable, or to just disassociate with an image I know is false, have my own life and live truly as a loving and peaceful person, or even just enforce the boundaries that I need that provide safety and continual psycho, emotional, mental, and antimanipulative protection.
I've finally realized that my growth, healness, counseling and the completion of my adult therapy program was and is a threat to the fake image they've all created after all these years. I did not tell them that I've done the work and have finally woke up from this reality due to therapy, because they don't know my current life business and just speculate and make up rumors and assumptions about me and what I have going on or why I'm 'acting' the way I'm 'acting' as truth, without ever even trying to even talk to me or not just assumes someone's continual triangulation is even the truth.
I am at peace, extremely successful and have overcome many things that would typically break the average person. Any reinforcement of boundaries, standing up for myself or attempt to distance myself from my parents since realizing how f'd up they did me when this was happening-even with my forgiving them for this throughout my life.
However, the older I get, when they continue to display the same patterns that were present during the abuse, now, including the thought of why did I even allow them a relationship with me in my life as an adult-because I get so disgusted with even the thought I'd ever allow a child to be abused by my spouse and let alone, stay married to them for decades afterwards. I can't believe I invited them to my wedding and we were the 'loving' bride's side...why was I so like "this is my family and we love each other, we're a close happy family" in my adulthood so long still? Until I woke up? There's so much I've since resolved with my therapist and have done the work to heal from-these are just questions to share the process I went through for insight. Also---It's really pathetic when I think about how different of a compassionate and truly loving person that I've become. I couldn't even fathom allowing abuse in my life or anything even remotely close to it or especially to be done to a CHILD...but here's more of how all my realizations have led me to where I am now:
I am SO glad that I am the VERY manifestation of 'WHEN you know BETTER, you DO better'...oh how the magicalness and bravery of individuals like Maya Angelou, Terrance Howard, and other past/currently alive ascended masters, who did and are leaving the breadcrumbs that nourish the souls of humanity on Earth today... The awakening and true freedom of thought and consciousness of myself has not only changed, but has elevated my existence, and my life.
I now experience the divine nature of love and revelation on a spiritual level that has brought abundance to me in every way and at every level.
I've done so much work, healing, therapy, service, reflection and growth, that the peace I feel daily, is what I never imagined happiness would be like.
To purely love and evolve as I truly am and meant to be, it's frustrating when the one group who we're taught is supposed to 'really' be your people, have been everything but that.
In the last 4 years, my life before now had been turned upside-down. In retrospect from now, I see why, as it had catapulted me into the healed, peaceful and abundant life that I have now.
...But, when everything started to happen, I really THOUGHT they (my family of origin) were there for me. I went to them for guidance and advice-I hadn't awakened to my newfound wisdom-filled reality at this point yet-and they appeared caring, so I thought...
I went to them because I thought they were the only people in my life by this point, who truly loved me 'unconditionally'. Much happened. I took some of their advice in the very beginning, but at the same time I started to remember who the ... I am...and it was on and popping from there, Baby!
From the multiple crises that I'd found myself in all those years ago: I went to therapy, did counseling, shadow work and started reparenting my inner child. I journaled and started to meditate and the answers flowed through me. I allowed the plan for my life to take shape and one after another, I started to solve my problems, so gracefully, all while growing, healing, and finding the peace that I had in my life before these many situations developed. However, it was on a whole other level, an intrinsic peace that scaffolded into a snowball of peace in every area I've ever struggled.
In the last year though, I have survived what I would consider my dark night of the soul and I feel remembered, like, renewed into the person I always had been, but wasn't aware of until now.
I now have strong boundaries that not only protect me, but they also hold me accountable to gracefully standing up for myself, my own personhood, my values, my beliefs, and that which keep me committed to the lessons I learned so painfully over these last few years, just from the 'not knowing any better' and...whew...religion, patriarchy, and so much more of how I was raised that pain-wrenchingly just set me up for failure in this life, if I never had made a change.
I'm SO happy I learned about just how all these constructs and societal blockages were NOT for my flourishing in life, on my own. Finally, the realization.
The more healed, awakened, and spiritual I became, the more I realized the family system that I was raised in, saw me as a threat. Looking back, so much of what I went through and was done to me was beyond messed up and downright wrong and abusive.
So now, there's this awkwardness of not knowing the true extent of the abuse in how I was raised beyond what I can remember...but what I do remember was jail-worthy and I remember calling out that the parent who was doing it deserved jailtime, but I was bullied, threatened with homelessness and I was a child. I didn't know about all the resources available or what I could do besides tell my other parent. 😪
...I did try to call out the obvious stuff as I got older, but I didn't understand that I was covertly bullied and gaslit when I tried to stand up originally...I was always told I need to 'forgive and forget'...and what would ... do? And... 'as a .... we are here to love thy neighbor...' bluh blue bluh...-My whole life, I didn't realize that I was the family scapegoat until 2024.
No matter how much I tried with the things I knew were outwardly morally wrong then, it wasn't until therapy that anyone in addition to myself validated my experiences; that abuse is abuse, every last form of it, and it doesn't matter in what context it happens: religious or political and about 20 other different forms, is not okay...
-So back to the awkwardness of having this lifelong 'close family' that I once thought was so strong and healthy, loving, both parents still together and 'in love', all 8 siblings with 'decent' relationships (not really, they're all really toxic, invisibly debted with that unseen abuse like financial-emotional-mental- cheating/sexual-behind closed doors-whats stays in this house type dysfunction that I'm sure I haven't seen because-behind closed doors-the same trifling household we were raised in), my whole life...UNTIL I LITERALLY woke up within the last year to REALIZE how JACKED UP they were and are. Thinking back to all the times I was not supported or protected, I was the one in the family, out of all 10 who was ever truly genuine, purely intentioned, loved unconditionally...and had no complex with CONTROL...just, it was just me...
Ask me how I know...
The very situations I've found myself in these last 6 years, when I deconstructed from all things religious and political or anti-dignity, when I started to stand up against things without fear, that were not okay, or for the true safety and benefit of humanity of living beings...EVERYTHING started to crumble and I BECAME public energy number one in my origin family. At first it was covert while they 'mistakenly forgot my boundaries' or 'didn't know what I'm doing now'...or the 'assuming and then making up their own thing and spreading the lie-behind my back"...
Also, any attempt to speak up and honor the abuse and neglect in childhood that I've overcome and have healed from and ask simple acknowledgment for from my parents, turns into excessive triangulation bringing everyone into the mix (again, in the shadows without my knowledge and behind my back), to point out my downfalls I literally just overcome and healed from these last 4 years, and then continue making up lies about me, spreading false rumors to extended family I don't engage with, don't have a relationship with, or whom I've cut off for being too toxic never changing... making more false grandiose accusations, saying I've talked about or down about people, made claims that I'm better than everyone, that it's all about me...etc...literally because all I did was reiterate my boundaries I've set, called people out for it, who have done toxic things to me. This is in addition to being accused of being all kinds of things because I've 'distanced' myself (from people who are not kind to me and who talk about me behind my back and have called me cruel names for calling them out on the toxic behavior they display towards me for being my own person and holding my ground on my own decisions as a full 30+ year old adult with my own family).
-I literally have a ~8+ minute voice-mail of an origin family member talking to someone about the hardships I've survived in the last 6 years because they unknowingly butt-dailed me last month and I received it and haven't confronted them yet, because I know it'll be a waste of time).
They have everyone sharing lies about me between the family, calling me after not hearing from them for months and trying to start arguments over nonexistent issues we've never had, taking a statement out of context and championing as a 'see see see she's doing this or that to me when they are the one calling me out of the blue (after already having done previous things to me that I yet again addressed and was ignored about, never chaning the behavior or apologizing) and trying to start stuff with me while I was minding my own business...
...all this from a recent holiday that I no longer celebrate that they're fully aware of.
They know I'm no longer religious, I have different beliefs and values now and instead of respecting it, they spread rumors, accusations, lies, unproven opinions, attempting various forms of triangulation to target me.
What makes it worse is that my relationship with my parents are so strained. They both took part in the abuse I suffered as a child. Being that I thought I had a really good relationship with one of them until this recent realization (I realized recently that they both were guilty, not just the one who committed it, the other always acted like they didn't know-but they did and admitted it recently). No say strained is an understatement honestly, but I had trying to at least be LC because of their relationship with my own family I've had since adulthood.
However, it was becoming increasingly difficult to even be around their religious talk and 'fake I love all my neighbors, I practice the daily religious routines everyday and read the text daily I'm so devout' act...
On the outside they look like they are just the epitome of devout faith individuals and they are living in according to what religious dogma aim for, all while secretly knowing what they did and allowed in our household-all my memories are very clear to this day, especially since I've awakened.
First Xmas was an issue even though that was a boundary for me. I suggested they were welcomed to celebrate the winter solstice with me, they declined, and I respected that. I offered a nice dinner the week beforehand as an alternative.
Then it was Easter, I declined (as I've reminded them that I hold different beliefs and values now which have really cultivated my lifestyle being different from theirs now, and reminded them that it is not difficult for me to respect their beliefs and values; that I expect the same level of respect from them). As an alternative, since they too were interested in celebrating for a totally different holiday/celebration, as I honor the spring solstice, I suggested a nice lunch on a regular unanchored day to any meaning, and to drive to the country and have a day of exploration where we could end with a dessert picnic on a rolling hill in the place I mentioned. They declined.
Since fully coming out the spiritual closet, most of my origin family has either lied about their communication service being interrupted, they have to work-most don't have jobs, or that they are so busy in their schedules, but are on social media all day-secretly being judgemental talking about people in general (strangers on the internet) who are in very difficult life/hard personal situations where they judge them based on the patriarchal and religious dogma we were raised in. It's really sad to me I have no more interest in engaging with negative people.
But what's really pathetic is they make up rumors and lies about me and start drama for my having my own separate lifestyle now everytime a national political holiday (tied to some form of historical trauma) or a religious holiday comes around as they (mentally try to) attack me because I didn't celebrate or 'honor' them-all while not knowing I have proof of every last one of them talking about me badly behind my back with lies and/or spreading rumors about me that aren't true. Literally.
The last straw was the most recent holiday, not calling or contacting them because I refuse to have or remind them for the 1,000,000th time about that boundary and standing up for my beliefs-it's so exhausting.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to live around positive, encouraging and accepting people who live by love and honoring everyone's humanity no matter their religion, gender, sex, background, status, etc...and just being kind to people in general, as long as they're not murdering or harming others (outside of self defense, like TRUE self-defense and not the kind cruel people try to use as a cover to inflict harm), everyone has a right to believe in and have the values that make them feel safe and whole.
Long story short, I know I am not the AH for standing my ground and protecting my personhood and that NO ONE on earth is entitled to what I believe, value, or what I choose to celebrate or not.
*I'd like to add a note that I have done especially deep, caring, loving, and acknowledgingly beautiful actions throughout every year my whole entire life and not just since this recent change in these last few years, like 12-20 times a year.
I no longer try to keep explaining or trying to defend why I'm defending myself against disrespect and people who are not gentle towards me like I've been with them throughout my life, always there, always the one to support.
I just do not care anymore, if I have to be along or start my (chosen) family this time around, I will. I just despise drama and toxicity. I will not let it permeate into the peaceful life I've fault to build.
(Thank you if you've made it this far)
-The Recently Realized Family Scapegoat and origin family generational curse-breaker