Hello, I recently been hanging out with a girl from class who I’ve shown interest in by asking on a date. She seems to be feeling me out by asking me questions that “friends” don’t talk about like how many girlfriends I’ve had, how many girls I’ve slept with, what are my hobbies, etc. problem is, she is out of my league. She probably knows it and most girls of her caliber most likely wouldn’t give me the time of day. I flirt with her constantly because I tutor her for class and she reciprocates but tells me not to get confused and that we’re just friends. To back up a little, she said yes to my date request but not keeps postponing it and telling me she’s busy cause she only gets one day off every week. Today I told her that if she can’t give me one day of her time in a week that it’s probably not going to work. I never seen her act so interested before, she said “would you want to date me?” And I said maybe. Her jaw dropped and she bursted into questions about why only maybe and so forth. My point is she is unsure about me in general because she probably thinks she can do better than me but at same time we have chemistry and she’s considering it. On the way home I drove her back to her house and I told her I don’t want to waste my time so tell me if you only want to be friends and she said “yes that’s what’s im telling you” and I said okay so your not interested in ever dating me to be clear and she says “no it’s not that I might be, but I have to figure out if I really like you first.” It seems like she’s considering but hesitant due to attraction, and maybe personality. Problem is I acted so nice in the beginning changing how I would normally act to suit what I thought she wanted but as we hung out more and more I realized I was scaring her away by acting like a goody two shoes nice guy. Now we talked more and I have opened up a lot and she definitely is feeling me more because Im actually kinda a so called “bad boy” especially compared to her lol (she’s the goofy two shoes in my eyes). So my question is; TLDR: if a girl kind of likes you but is unsure what’s the best way to reel her in?
I’m tempted to try and make her jealous. Maybe distance, etc. it’s funny how the world comes around full circle because years ago I had a beautiful blonde girl chasing me trying everything she could to be my girlfriend and I never gave her the honest chance because I thought I could do better than her. Two things: now is my chance to (do better!) also the only thing that would have reeled me into her is if she pulled away. So is that a legitimate strategy?
The more I type this the more I realize it sounds kind of pathetic but I’m really interested in this girl and I would be so proud to make her my girlfriend I feel it would be doing a discredit if I didn’t try. I have a million good things I could say about her personality and her attractiveness is top tier.

Quick Summary:

This post will contain spoilers for both Season 15, and Restoration.
With the release of Restoration, Red vs Blue has finally come to an end, and it was a pretty solid ending for the most part amid a few flaws here and there, but most I think would agree it was a Satisfying ending. However as I said before it has a few problems. One being is that we don't know if Restoration actually happend, or if it's also a simulation much like The Shisno Trilogy, and Zero.
Secondly even though some people didn't like The Shisno Trilogy retconing it removes all of the major delevompment certain characters went through. Such as Grif, Donut, and Washington. I think The Shisno Trilogy defenitntly handled their characters better then Restoration did. So I'm going to give my version of what happend after the battle on The Staff of Charon, and see if we can fix some of the mistakes of both The Shisno Trilogy, and Restoration.

Season 15 Prelude:

So in my rewrite I'm going to have both Season 15, and Restoration happen, but there will be some tweeks, and changes added to them. One such change will be Tucker's descent into becoming The New Meta, rather then it just happening offscreen. We see this through Tucker behaving much more differently then he normally would. He often gets angry for unknown reasons, or behaves more violently then he normally would. All of this is a result of him being influinced by both Sigma, and Omega. Personally I think Omega would help Sigma with his goals as long as Sigma gave Omega something in return.

Season 15:

Now let's get into the actual Season. So Season 15 Episode 1 Prolouge goes the same as it does in the original, with The Blues and Reds attacking a UNSC base, and killing everyone there. Dylan Andrews then does her report with Frank, she deciedes to track The Reds and Blues down, Frank is replace by Jax, and together they head to Blood Gulch, meet sister, and VIC, Dylan makes a deal with VIC that he will give her "Three wishes", and then she, and Jax go to Sidewinder, meet Specncer, and Encounter The Blues and Reds. So far Season 15 seems to be going exactaly the same as it did before right, well here's where the first difference comes. Dylan doesn't immendidlty put together put together that they aren't the real Reds, and Blues. This is because Surge actually has a shotgun, and they all have voice filters to sound like the Reds, and Blues.
Anyways after all that instead of going to Chorus, Dylan and Jax decied to go to other places The Reds and Blues have been starting with Zanzibar. There they wouldn't find much, but I think Dylan would at least try to see if she could find any information on the computer Gamma hacked, but probably wouldn't find anything.
There next stop would be Valhalla. There they would first check out The Blue Base, find nothing, and then they would check out The Red Base, where they would find the holgraph training thing Sarge had Lopez built. Once again they wouldn't find anything they would help with their investagation.
Oh by the way the call between Dylan and James would still happen in Episode 4 at Zanziabar and it would go the same as in the original Season.
Anyways then then go to the sandy place with The Temple, then where the Reds and Tucker got destroyed by Tex, and even where they confronted The Director, but they find nothing, and Dylan is about to Give Up when Jax suggest that why not go to the place The Reds and Blues were last known to be, Chorus. Dylan calls Jax a genius, and they head of to Chours. Again this goes exactaly the same as it did in the original version, but with one major difference, Doc would be on Chours working at Donald Doyle General Hosptial as Doctor Grey's assisatant, but once he here's about The Reds and Blues he too like Sister, Grey, and Kimball believes that The Reds and Blues wouldn't go evil, despite all they've put him through. So after getting the info from Kimball, Dylan, Jax, and Doc would all go to The Reds and Blues are on. Doc apologizes to Grey for leaving, but she assures him it's okay, and that he wasn't really that good at opperating, no offense of course. Anyways they go to the planet, the same Star Wars Parody scene happens, and Dylan finally meets The Real Reds and Blues. Cabooose still falls of the cliff, The Reds and Blues kind of have a small reaction to Doc like "Oh Doc what are you doing here". Doc then tries to explain only for The Reds and Blues to say that "No one cares", then they tell their story. It's exactaly the same, but Carolina does point out Tucker's weird behavior from being influnced by Sigma, and Omgea, but they all just blow it off as a phase, and then they get the SOS from Church.
And that's where Season 15 would end. Now I'm sure some of you are going to question why I shorten Season 15 to only about 10 episodes instead of the Original 20, well that was because of Dylan and Jax. See one of my main issues with Season 15 was the lack of development the two new characters got. I mean what did we learn about either of them throughout the Season? Um Dylan was a reporter, Jax wants to make movies, Dylan has a husband she's distant from, and that's about it, and as soon as The Reds and Blues come back into the picture, both Dylan and Jax basically get sidelinded. For me that was my biggest disappointment from Season 15, and is the main reason why I added episodes of Dylan and Jax going to these other places The Reds and Blues have been was so we could learn more about Dylan and Jax.
One thing I think we could learn about is why Dylan is so distant from her husband, here's my take on the reason why. Dylan can't have kids. When Dylan gets the call from James, Jax could ask her why she's so distant from him, to which Dylan would say that it's none of his buisness, then Jax can drop it, and tell Dylan his life story, then in Chorus Lessons Dylan can tell Jax about her being unable to reproduce, she explains to him that other then being a reporter one of her biggest dreams was to be a mom, she and James tried so many times, but nothing worked, so they went to the doctors where they got the news that Dylan was infertal. This revlation devestated Dylan, and she started to distants herself from James, and burry herself in her work. James did suggest things like Adoption, or a Surragate Mom, but Dylan didn't want to do either of does. I know it's not the best story for Dylan, but I just wanted more from her and Jax, instead of them just being sidelinded after The Reds and Blues came back into the picture. Anyways onto the New Season 16.

Season 16:

So yeah Season 16 is just the rest of Season 15 honestly, and for the most part everything goes exactaly The Same. Grif quits still, Carolina and Washington go to search for their old Freelancer friends, and The rest of The Reds and Blues along with Dylan and Jax try to trace Church's message. Everything from their goes the same, including the meeting with Spencer. It's when they meet The Blues and Reds where it's different. When they first meet it goes basically the same where The Blues and Reds claim that they're the good guys, and its The UNSC who are the bad guys, but Tucker does not trust them one bit because they are still going around pretending to be The Reds and Blues, with Tucker even questioning how Dylan couldn't tell they were fakes. Anyways the go into the underwater base, and here's where we get some differences. First of all The Blues and Reds and not the originals, they are just copycats. Doc also never knew them, and there's a little moment of him asking if they have their own Doc, and getting kind of dissapointed that their isn't.
Here's another major difference. It's Sigma who convinces Tucker to not trust Dylan, and to instead trust The Blues and Reds, and espesically Temple. After that everything from Wash and Carolina's relationship getting forming, to The Blues and Reds capturing them goes the same.
Now we get to The Blues and Reds story of why they are doing all of this. Now like I said before they are not the originals like in the canon version of Season 15, and honestly coming up with a different story for them was hard, and this was all I could think of. They were part of The UNSC Resistance, and took part in the battle of the Sargaughcas in Season 9. We still get that whole think of Biff and Temple being friends, and Biff wanting to go home to be with his wife, but this time instead of him asking Temple to shoot him, he was already given permission to leave, and this would have been his last mission. Unfourtnetly he is killed during the battle by Carolina and Tex. As for why The Blues and Reds are pretending to be The Reds and Blues? They saw the article Dylan wrote and that's what gave Temple the idea to pretend to be The Reds and Blues.
Anyways The Reds, and Blues discover The Blues and Reds are evil, Doc, and Sarge join The Blues, and Reds, The Reds, and Blues are captured, Lopez gets launched into Space, runs into Locus, and gets Grif. Grif, Lopez, and Felix go to save The Reds and Blues, free Wash and Carolina, with Wash all loopy, Sarge apologizes, and the fire fight happens. Here we would also see more of Sigma, and Omega influnicing Tucker, primarily Omega during this part since Tucker is angry, and of course Wash gets shot in the Neck.
So after that everything goes exactaly the same as it does in the original with The Reds and Blues, Dylan, and Jax all heading to Earth to stop The Blues and Reds.
Okay now for the Final Battle aganist The Blues and Reds, for the most part it's the same. Sarge and Surge's fight to Sarge accidendtly killing Surge, Grif, and Simmons figthing Gene and leaving him, and Loronzeo getting kicked into space, as well as Cronut blowing up in The Tank, but surving.
Now for the differnces. First off Loco's machine is not a time machine, but it will still causes mass destruction, and possibly destroy the planet so it needs to be stopped. Tucker beats Buckey even worse then he does in the original, breaking nearly all of his bones. This is again because of Omega. Anyways once we get to the final battle against Temple it all goes the same. Temple accidently kills Loco, VIC dies stopping the Machine, and Loco gives Caboose some batteires for Freckles. Now for the differnces. First there's no door that opens to Blood Gulch, and Alpha Church, The Machine just gets destroyed by VIC. Donut still gets shot by a bolt of electricty, but it does nothig except give him a little jolt. Oh and everything that happend with Doc went the same.
Now for Temple's fate. This time Tucker actually kills Temple, quite violently to, shocking everyone. Carolina then says "Tucker, what have you done"? to which Tucker, who's voice is mixed with Sigma's says. "Tucker is gone, I am The Meta"! Tucker now complety controlled by Sigma runs off, gets into Dylan's ship and flies off leaving everyone in shock. Then The Chours crew comes with Sister who reuintes with Grif, and the others are informed of Wash's recover, but then Caboose ask what they are going to do about Tucker, which Carolina says she doesn't know. Season 16 ends with Tucker returing to the base where The Reds and Blues were stationed after Chorus. He opens a door, to a room where The Meta's old armor was stored. Tucker then puts on the Armor and faces the screen in a scene similar to when Maine became The First Meta.
So yeah Season 16 aka The Rest of Season 15 didn't have a lot of changes other then changing the Origins of The Blues, and Reds, and showing more of Tucker's desent into becoming The New Meta. So let's move onto The Final Season.

Restoration:

So I think the best place to start The Final Season is to have The Reds and Blues first go to Chorus to check on Wash. As for Dylan and Jax, they stay behind since they can't fight The Meta. Anyways The Reds and Blues arrive on Chorus, and Carolina goes to see Wash in the Hospital, she wants to tell him about what happend to Tucker, but Wash doesn't let her at first, and instead tells the story about his cat. He tells the story about five times, so Carolina ask Doctor Grey about what's going on, and she tells Carolina about Wash's Cerebal Hypoxia. Now here's where we get our first difference. Carolina tells Wash about his condition, and does not hide it from him. Wash of course is devestated after learning this, but isn't as angry as he was in the original Season since Carolina was honest with him, but then she tells Wash about Tucker, and this causes an argument between the two of them, Carolina wants Wash to stay behind on Chorus while she and the others take care of Tucker, but Washington is insitant that he comes along saying how Tucker is his friend, and he's not going to sit back while Tucker suffers. Try as she might Carolina cannot convince Wash to stay behind.
While that was going on The Reds and Blues come back with the Message from Church. Of coruse Carolina, is skeptical at first considering what happend with the last message from Church, but Epsilon, who somehow new about all of this is able to prove he is real.
Okay so that's basically it for differnces, as everything else goes the same as it does in the original film with the acception that Sister, Wash, Carolina, Donut, Lopez, and Doc are all there the whole time. There would also be more scences of Tucker trying to fight off Sigma's influnce
Now for The Battle on The Staff of Charon with The Meta, here is where we would see Wash's injury effecting him, and it gets to a point where The Meta is about to kill him, only for Doc to sacrfice himself to save him. So yeah Doc still dies, but this time it's onscreen. As for Sarge, he dies too, same way he does in the original film, but the difference is that Sarge doesn't choose to abandon Caboose at first, he dies saving Caboose.
Final battle in Blood Gulch is The Same, with Tex coming back, but also Junior too. They fight and defeat Sigma, and Free Tucker. Caboose then destroys the Memory Unit.
Now for the ending. Grif doesn't leave like he does in the original film, Simmons does still offer it to him, but Grif chooses to stay. One thing The Shisno Trilogy did good was Grif's character arc. He realized that he needs the others in his life, no matter how much he doesn't want to admit it, he went crazy when he was all alone. Washington's character was something else done well in The Shisno Trilogy, his struggle with Brain Damage, and having to come over it, which is one of the biggest reasons why I hate Zero when they just said that he somehow got cured from that offscreen.
Finally with everything fixed, The Reds and Blues all decied to remain on Blood Gulch. Red Base has Simmons, Grif, Donut, and Lopez, while Blue Base has Caboose, Tucker, Washington, Carolina, Sister, and Junior.
Oh one more thing, they also had a memorial for Doc too. Donut is the first one mouring Doc, with Simmons, and the others eventually joining as well, and it's here where they finally acknowledge all the terrible things they did to Doc over the years, and genuinally apologize to him, even if Doc can't here them

Conclusion:

And there we go, my rewrite of Season 15, and Restoration. I know it's not perfect, and believe me a billon other people could do a trillon times better then I ever could, but I just wanted to talk about my take on how I would try to handle The End of Red vs Blue.

My apologies in advance if this is long. I was in an abusive relationship/marriage for 23 years. This incident happened when we were still friends. If I had I only known the truth when this had originally happened, I would have been saved from decades of emotional, psychological, verbal, physical, sexual, and physical abuse. (And currently post-separation abuse).
The cast: me, my ex Bub (Beelzebub), my ex-crush B, Bub's gf M, Bub's bf V (It will make sense when you read it.)
TW: Suicide, self-harm, abuse
We met through a mutual friend. We became really close really quickly. He was 17 and I was 19. We would talk for hours about anything and everything. I was raised around domestic abuse, and my family was highly dysfunctional. I suffered severe trauma as a child being raised in this environment with an abusive father and brother. (His namesake). By the time I met Bub, I had been having mental health struggles for many years. To deal with the trauma I still suffered from I would self-harm by cutting frequently. I also had been in a psychiatric hospital twice for suicide attempts. I told Bub about all of this, and he knew that I still did it. He was very supportive and would get really sad when I harmed myself.
Since we were just friends we would talk about our crushes. He had a crush on a girl from high school and I had a crush on one of my ex's B, who was also my high school crush. We only dated for 3 weeks, and we decided we were better as friends then lovers. Though we did have a FWB thing going on when we were both single. He really talked up his crush and I really talked up mine.
Two months into our friendship he got a gf. He told me she was a girl he knew from his home city named M. He claimed her mother would babysit him and his brother. He really talked this girl up. She was into all the same things as him. He said she had beautiful red hair, D breasts, liked the same books, movies and music as him. (Yes, he bragged about these things, as disgusting and corny as it sounds now). I was starting to believe he talked her up to make me jealous, which it honestly did. However, I knew it was petty jealousy and I was very happy for him and expressed that to him.
I don't know whose idea it was for her to start communicating with me, but she started emailing me to get to know his best friend (me). I was totally cool with this and was excited to get to know her. Before I know it, she starts getting really nasty with me for no apparent reason. It really upset me. My natural impulse at the time when I was upset was to cut. It was a maladaptive coping mechanism I had for years, and I did it when I was really upset. I explained this to him, and he said he would talk to her. He showed real concern I was harming myself and he also wanted her to stop.
So, he told me he had talked to her, and she had told him she would stop harassing me for no good reason. I really assumed she was jealous and let her know there was nothing to worry about. We were friends and he had a much longer history with her. She didn't stop. She continued to say the vilest and f'd up things to me, including making crass and insensitive comments about my suicidal ideation and self-harm. Naturally I was really upset and cut myself pretty badly. I still have the scar.
This basically went on until they broke up a month later. He said she was doing heroin, and he was vehemently against drugs. He said that they had a good friend that died of an OD, and he couldn't be with her if she was going to do that. It was over. She never contacted me again.
Not long after that B (my ex-bf) had come back from bootcamp. I spent a good deal of time with him while he was on home for leave for two weeks before he shipped out overseas. We decided in that time that we would no longer be FWB because I was starting to have feelings for Bub. Me and Bub started dating right after that. He ended up telling me that him and M didn't really date, and he had only told me that to make me jealous. AHA! I was correct!
So, I asked to meet her. He was a bit hesitant at first, but he finally agreed. At this point his bf V from his home city was dating her. It was the perfect opportunity to meet her as like a double date. I will say, at that time in my life I could be possessive and jealous. Not proud of it, but I was young and immature. I ended up treating her pretty snidely because of this.
One night we were out with them, and Bub got into a car accident. We ended up having to call his dad for a ride home. When we got to his home, his dad was contemplating letting them sleep there. I whispered in Bub's ear that I was not okay with his ex-gf sleeping at his house. She overheard me tell him this. She pulled me aside and told me they never dated. WHAT? I was furious. Bub made eye contact with me, and by the look on his face, I could tell he knew what she told me. The ride back, to drop them at home in his dad's car, was uncomfortable to say the least.
After he dropped them off, I confronted him. His explanation was I was so pushy to meet her, but he knew how jealous I could be, so he didn't want to actually introduce me to the real M. Ends up V was dating a girl with the same name. I felt so stupid and betrayed. I wanted to end it, but he seemed so remorseful I ended up giving him another chance.
Well, the years go rolling by, and I hear no more about this girl who he was so close with, in the past. Bub was a very charismatic person with a lot of friends. He never stopped speaking to friends permanently and they would come in and out of his life. I found it a little odd that there was no mention of her but didn't think much else of it. I also never really formally met her.
Then Facebook became a thing. He ended up being friends with every person he had ever known. Except her. I would bring it up and he would always have some excuse. We ended up moving in with his brother in 2015. I wasn't really around his brother a lot, so I never got a chance to talk to him at length. I remember at one point I brought her up. I was just so curious at the mystery girl and wanted to see if he was still in touch with her. He told me he didn't know what I was talking about. He said his mother never left them with babysitters and only worked when they were in school.
"What does that mean," I'm thinking. WTF does that mean? I brought it up to Bub and he told me she only babysat a few times so his brother probably forgot. But this didn't sit right with me. He had told me that she would babysit them frequently. He denied ever saying the frequency. What could I do but believe him? It had been almost 15 years by that point. That's a long time to keep a secret like that. Surely, he was telling me the truth. I dropped it for good.
We get married that year. We had a child the next year. We had a stillborn a year after that. All this time until 2022, I started feeling really uneasy about our relationship. I started suspecting that his behavior towards me was abusive.
Sidenote: I didn't include all the abusive behaviors in this post, as it would be a novel if I did. I'm simply recalling the events around the catalyst to my descent into hell.
By the end of 2022 I was broken. I had gotten my first of what would end up being 3 TROs against him. I dismissed the first two. (The second was a dual, as he set up a situation that created the need for me to defend myself. He claimed I wasn't defending myself. That's a story for another day). After the first two, I was still so desperate to salvage my marriage with my eternal hope that he could change. I was just so broken by then I didn't think I deserved any better, and no one else could possibly want a worthless, pitiful broken mess like me.
The summer of 2023, while laying sleepless in bed, the memory of M flashed through my mind. I started remembering details I had long forgotten. Why did I never meet her? Why was she never his friend on Facebook? Why had neither of them reached out to each other? I had met every person he talked about, or he was at least friends with them on Facebook. Why not her? Why did his brother not remember? Why did he say M's mother babysat them all the time? I KNOW he originally said that damn it! Why was her email address, at only 17-years-old, her first and last name? 17-year-olds don't use their names like professionals. They call themselves sparklybutterflies86 for christ's sakes! This was all going through my head.
The next day I confronted Bub. I will paraphrase to the best of my memory:
Me: Was M real?
Bub: I thought this had been settled already.
Me: No. No, it hasn't. You told me your brother just did not remember her and that was the last I spoke of it.
Bub: Deadpanned looking me right in the eye "No. She wasn't real. I thought you knew this by now."
I can't really remember what I said at that point, but it was a lot of "how the fuck could you do that? and other expletives. His excuse was he was an insecure teenager, and he was jealous of B and how much I talked about him. A fucking insecure teenager. Talking up his high school crush didn't make me jealous, so he made up a gf.
He pretended to be a gf, who went on to harass the shit out me. Which caused me to be so distraught that I cut myself. He knew I was harming myself and he kept on doing it. I still bare the fucking scar from that time. He involved a poor innocent girl that I was fucking terrible to. Not to mention the fake story of a friend that Od'd. And his excuse for this deranged, diabolical, INSANE fucking shit was, "I was an insecure teenager." No fucking big deal, right?
23 years. Two kids. One alive and one deceased. 23 years of complete and utter psychological annihilation with this man.
If only I had known.
If you have come this far, thank you so much for reading. I left him for good October of last year, and I have never felt more free.

Hi all! I have been diving into the world of voxels recently and I have come to sort of a standstill.
First of all I tried to use Marching Cubes to get (semi) realistic looking terrain that players can edit but it mostly flew over my head, so I decided on good old cubes. (if I should revisit marching cubes, let me know)
My second attempt was... horrible to say the least, I don't even want to post the code because you could probably point out something wrong/inefficient with every line lol
My third attempt can be seen here: https://pastebin.com/DyzGX94N Not very efficient, overall not a good approach. Moving on!
However, my fourth/current attempt was actually more promising... until it wasnt. I had a 32x32x1024 chunk of voxels and up to 256 voxels from the ground were "solid" and not "null" voxels (null voxels in my code = air voxels)
I did have a problem where the top-left-corner of the voxel layer at 257 (first null layer) were solid, could not for the life of me figure out why.
Anyways, the code can be seen here: (its still very inefficient) https://pastebin.com/Y26qJEiv
It is WAY too CPU-heavy, blocking the game thread when its (supposed to be) running on a different thread, taking multiple seconds to build a chunk when editing voxels. It also messes up UV/face geometry (just writing this, I forgot that I have to take 4 away from every index in Chunk.Triangles to cover up the UV problem... but that would just add more CPU strain so I'm still sure my solution is not going in a good direction.)
I'm not really looking for an error list in my code, just generally asking: - How SHOULD voxel mesh data be stored? By-voxel or by-chunk? Guessing by-chunk. - How should chunks be updated? For instance, making a solid voxel -> air voxel. Do I re-build (recalculate triangles not just recreate the mesh itself) the entire chunk or just the voxel and its surroundings? - Any other feedback, resources, etc welcome
Thank you!

Let me start by saying, i was sa’d as a child for many years by my father so i’ve struggled with mental health my whole life. before i got sick i was in a really good place mentally. probably the best i’ve been in my life. It started out as burn out. i was running my step dads company for him while he was out of state running and different business. so i was big boss, i could push around 1.5k lbs pallet of product and throw 50lbs boxes around like it was nothing. i started getting really sick and my step dad told me to stay home to “focus on my health” that same day he was training my direct employee on my job. i quit and went back to what i love doing, taking care of children. i was already sick and it was too late. by month 1 i was calling out because i spent every morning hugging the toilet. i ended up being evicted because my step dad decided to sue me saying i took “important documents” when i left. knowing i didn’t and knowing i didn’t have money to fight it. i lost my job (because i had to move, my job was very understanding about me searching for health answers) and my apartment. during that time i lost all of my weight. i’ve always struggled to keep my weight up and seeing how low i am now is so detrimental. i’m 98lbs on a bad day 103.8lbs is the highest i’ve been able to get since i’ve been sick. i went to countless doctors many i’m sure who didn’t believe me. i’m still unmedicated 11 months later even though i have been diagnosed. my last cardiologist said the holter monitor isn’t good enough and that i HAVE to do a tilt table, problem being all tests WERE 6 months out until one hospital stopped preforming TTTs without explanation meaning it’s now over a year out. The POTS clinic near me wants $7,700 upfront for an 8 day program, which i can’t pay and they don’t accept ANY insurance.
all of that to say, i’m really really struggling daily with the pain, my new disabled life. i cry almost everyday thinking about how peaceful it would be to not be in pain. i dont have a plan and i doynt plan to commit. but the thoughts are so loud and it’s different because before its just my feelings in my head but now it’s physical pain i cant get rid of. last night my boyfriend admitted he thought about leaving me when i gave him the option when i got sick and for some reason that hurt me even more, i’m just spiraling. i don’t know who else to turn to because i can’t hear “it’s going to be okay” anymore. especially when any second im awake im in pain.

My parents got divorced when I was 11 and both of them remarried right then. Dad got the custody and we thought we would be in good hands until I realized step mother hated us. She did every possible action to move us kids away from our dad..and she got very successful on that. At 20, I met a guy online and he was VERY kind to me. Everything he said was all that I wanted to hear after years of being mistreated and hated by adults around me. 2 years into dating and we decided to get married. I told my older brother about him and they both got along really well. No one wanted me to get married because my dad wanted me to marry someone of his choice...but since I was already so fed up of the forcings, I didn't care anymore and so, the guy flew all the way from his country to mine with his family, and we got married. His family has some really really nice folks too. However after the marriage, stuff was okayish, till he had to go back now to his country to continue work etc and meanwhile here I am waiting for my visa.
So we are long distance..but it's going so bad that I feel to call it quits atleast 5 times a day. His attitude, way of speaking and all is so weird now. It's WAY different than how it was. He has gone abusive (he admits to it), his anger management has gone way worse (he knows this), and what I hate is that it's getting projected on me.
I understand time changes people and I have probably changed too but I feel lost, I feel like I have no one to vent to, I feel like I have no one around me with whom I can speak to. Whatever I speak to him about, will turn to an argument where he's just shouting.
I called his mother and spoke to her about this, to which she told me she is also very very upset towards her son since he has also been mad/rude to her. She tried explaining him last week and he did call me apologizing for his mistake. But now the same shit has happened again yesterday, where we spoke after 3-4 days because of our routines and since we finally spoke I just wanted to have a good positive talk but anything I spoke about, he would criticize it, and it ended in him shouting again.
What is the point of such a life? (I am NOT thinking to end my life so don't worry). But I'm just curious, what is the point of this all? What do I do? I can't go out so please don't recommend advices regarding going out.
Btw he was very addicted to vape (nicotine) and he has left it now which is why everyone thinks hes having anger issues).

For context, my aunt, we'll call her Mina (39F). Now Mina is a bitch. Whenever there's a family gathering with her or just dinner between her and my family, the day wont end without her badmouthing and criticizing other family members about their job and their educational status.
So 2 months before her wedding, she decided to spawn her self at our dinner table and again start with her blabbering, now I'm just a tired college student so I didn't give a F about Mina's bs, but not until my own father became her topic. She started to talk and laugh about my father's life before marrying my mother (Mina's sister), as my father came from the poorer side of the society saying my papa is such a "social climber", my mother did not liked this topic so mama tried to change the topic, and so am I, I did not liked how he talked about my father, I just looked at my dad and he was just there eating what is served by my mother like a good humble husband. Im a Daddy's girl so i looked at Mina and asked my mother "But dad was earning 6 figures before you got married right mom?" my mom said yes and it was satisfying to look at how Mina got quiet, it was awkward so mom changed the topic. I was not done yet but I love my mother so i let it go.
Not until her reception party...
Most of the invited guests were relatives, so everybody knew everybody. Especially me, im ✨️thee spoiled brat✨️ whole family, I was treated like a princess and was raised like a princess by my father and everybody knew that whatever I say goes, whatever I say will be said, and i get what i want basically for them Im the perfect child.
Already heard the other table talking about the newlyweds and how their reception is so grand and beautiful.
Not until I said "How cheap..."
The table beside us looked at me and my dad just chuckled. So my lovely father answerd the table beside us "Im sorry 'other aunt' you can continue eating, she's just not used with the environment" the aunt so replied "Didn't Mina even checked if everyone will like the venue? Typical Mina, always thinking about herself" I looked at that aunty and said "I know right aunty, like it looks really cheap, and I really thought aunt Mina said she'll have a beautiful venue"
And that statement got passed around and now everyone is criticizing Mina saying her wedding is cheap
and talking about ✨️me✨️.
The message soon reached Mina and I tell you, she looked like a red tomato, she ended up paying the catering to change the tableware into a much more expensive fitting for everyone
especially for ✨️me✨️
Everyone that was invited ended up criticizing Mina, and Mina just sat there with her husband taking it all in one by one, and of course if a relative ask about her job and educational status, my Mother is there happily laughing about it.
After the reception party my dad asked why i said it was cheap, and that probably made her look bad in the family, i just said "Ain't it the truth papa that aunt mina is cheap?" and mom and dad just laughed
I love my father and mother😇

My parents got divorced when I was 11 and both of them remarried right then. Dad got the custody and we thought we would be in good hands until I realized step mother hated us. She did every possible action to move us kids away from our dad..and she got very successful on that. At 20, I met a guy online and he was VERY kind to me. Everything he said was all that I wanted to hear after years of being mistreated and hated by adults around me. 2 years into dating and we decided to get married. I told my older brother about him and they both got along really well. No one wanted me to get married because my dad wanted me to marry someone of his choice...but since I was already so fed up of the forcings, I didn't care anymore and so, the guy flew all the way from his country to mine with his family, and we got married. His family has some really really nice folks too. However after the marriage, stuff was okayish, till he had to go back now to his country to continue work etc and meanwhile here I am waiting for my visa.
So we are long distance..but it's going so bad that I feel to call it quits atleast 5 times a day. His attitude, way of speaking and all is so weird now. It's WAY different than how it was. He has gone abusive (he admits to it), his anger management has gone way worse (he knows this), and what I hate is that it's getting projected on me.
I understand time changes people and I have probably changed too but I feel lost, I feel like I have no one to vent to, I feel like I have no one around me with whom I can speak to. Whatever I speak to him about, will turn to an argument where he's just shouting.
I called his mother and spoke to her about this, to which she told me she is also very very upset towards her son since he has also been mad/rude to her. She tried explaining him last week and he did call me apologizing for his mistake. But now the same shit has happened again yesterday, where we spoke after 3-4 days because of our routines and since we finally spoke I just wanted to have a good positive talk but anything I spoke about, he would criticize it, and it ended in him shouting again.
What is the point of such a life? (I am NOT thinking to end my life so don't worry). But I'm just curious, what is the point of this all? What do I do? I can't go out so please don't recommend advices regarding going out.
Btw he was very addicted to vape (nicotine) and he has left it now which is why everyone thinks hes having anger issues).

With this mouse spooky spaghetti shit i jus keep getting dragged more and more in. This mf is unbeleivable. So first off ALL of their numbers and names get posted, the new personal numbers. They told her they couldnt have a bday party for her because of safety reasons (but they planned the suprise party behind her back). She then went to Dr. Sullivan and was saying “im annoyed because im not afraid and my friends are so they cant throw me a party” or somethin along those lines. She then apparently requested removal for the post, seemingly ticked off. Once they removed the post shes all excited, like jumping and shit; she goes to her friends and says shes PART OF THE SPOOKY SPAGHETTI MODERATION TEAM. Im not sure if she MADE the website or what but theres something SEVERALY OFF about her and its so bad. Especially how bloody rose didnt let her have her surprise sweet 16, i feel like theres a reason… like rose knows she deserves to be targeted. With the whole fake names and meeting up w old men, dressing up… ion even kno anymore w this girl bruh. AND HER CURSED GRANDMA LIKE WTF IS GOIN ONN😭😭

Resume - https://imgur.com/a/2knjXQ9
I graduated in December 2022 and after that I was focused on job search. I sent at least 400 apps but at the same time, I was insecure with my profile and myself.I don't have prior internship experience and I was spending so much time on Leetcode and projects over sending multiple job apps. I was not organized and effective with my job search.
I changed my route in 2024 and improved on sending apps. It is difficult to send apps as I was sending at least 75 apps a day sometimes to not sending any apps at all. I also couldn't find any entry level postings as well.
I am right now applying to limited entry level roles and internships. Most of the roles I applied for are for software roles with at least 1 YOE. I applied for roles with at most 3 YOE and I applied for them even though I will be under-qualified. I have used all major programming languages and I am desperate to get ANY software role.
So far in 2024:

• 500 job apps ( all levels )
• 75 rejections
• 5 technical assessments
• 1 first round interview

I was also networking a lot at local software meetups. I was able to get multiple LinkedIn connections but I couldn't proceed it to the next step. I couldn't find a mentor and I doubt if they could understand the situation on breaking into tech. industry.
I don't know what else to do. I'm starting to feel embarrassed, isolated, discouraged and frustrated. I've tried to stay positive and keep pushing forward, but it's becoming increasingly difficult with each rejection or lack of response. Despite all this, my family is supportive and they are encouraging me to do grad school. I want to do grad school but I am unsure on what I want to study and pursue. I mainly want to do grad school after getting experience so I can afford it by myself.
I'm reaching out to this community in the hopes that some of you might have gone through similar experiences or have insights that could help me out.

• Where to find entry level roles? I am using LinkedIn, Otta, and Handshake. Are there any other websites?
• How else should I network with others and make it more effective?
• How to find and reach/approach startups for paid/unpaid work?
• My father is asking me to consider becoming a Data Engineer as it's in demand and it has Python. I don't have any experience. How to change path if possible for entry level?
• I'm taking AWS Developer Associate test next week. Are there any other certifications I should get?

Whether it's advice on improving my resume and cover letter, suggestions for networking effectively, or even just words of encouragement, I would sincerely appreciate any input you can offer.
Thank you very much.

Hey there! I'll be moving to Dubai in July, already been there last year between August and September.
I was curious to hear how the runners population of this sub handles workouts in extreme heat. Personally, I've done all my workouts on the treadmill during August, managing to do something late at night in September.
And what about when the weather gets nicer? What are your favorite places, possibly not too crouded, to do your workouts and easy runs? I've heard about the Al Qudra cycle track and the Jumeirah Beach running path. I've also tried to run around the Za'abeel park. What else?

I wanted to bring something to everyone’s attention that happened to me once.
As for companies that give paid time off (PTO), make sure to go back in your schedules and know the days you’ve taken off.
The business I worked at kept each employees schedule on their account to go in and schedule which days they want off and their supervisor would approve it and then HR and send your notification in an email. At this company an employee would also have an option to give hours to fellow employees if they needed it for whatever reason.
I always printed my schedule from this list to know what days I had off for vacation or sick days and to plan future time off.
The HR manager one week had asked if anyone would be willing to give one of the sales team members some hours they need off and they used all their hours already. I guess no one gave any up. The same week I went in to plan my vacation and I noticed that what was showing on the computer wasn’t what I had on physical file in my hand. Someone went back to the beginning of the year and put that I had a few days off and in fact I was paid for those said days. The only person I found that could do that was the HR.
I was beyond angry. Not only because I was short days off but because it looked like I was paid for days off which could look like a fireable offense.
I figured the scheme was to borrow those days from a few people and when the person was paid then readjust the hours back and no harm no foul. I stormed into the HRs office and presented my evidence and told her she could screw over everyone else but she needed to put my time back as it was. And she did very promptly. She stammered around like she didn’t know how that happened but I told her I knew she was the only one who had the access to do that. Apparently she got how to do it from another store but it didn’t work the same way. She put everyone’s back and told the salesman he was just out of luck for hours. She quit a few weeks later.
All I’m saying is keep up with that stuff as best you can do you don’t get screwed out of PTO.

Hello all, we have a trip to Greece next week and, despite usually being autistic about planning, I have been very busy recently and have not had proper time to plan this out. Specifically, I am a little worried because I'm having trouble finding much information (times, prices, reliability) in regards to on ground transport. I get that each region has its own bus companies with their own websites, and many forums I saw said to just buy tickets at the counter the day of, but that makes me a bit nervous. For example, I'm thinking, what if the tickets are sold out for the specific bus that I had planned to take and I already have hotels/tickets lined up for the next destination? Also, how frequent are the busses (not being able to find easy online time-tables is killing me)? As you will see from my trip outline below there are several days in which I would like to take an evening/late afternoon bus, so as to be able to spend one morning/ afternoon exploring one city and sleep in the next city, so as to repeat that strategy the next day. Any insight into all this is very much appreciated, and also any suggestions on the below itinerary would be great since we have only book the airfare in and out at this point.
Also, I know it's a little faster than some people would travel, but for us usually one or two days is enough time per city and we'd like to try to cover as much ground as possible in our short time. The main attractions are historical sights, as I am currently a master student in classical history.
25th arrive Thessaloniki 1pm, explore city. 26th day trip to Macedonian tombs 27th Thessaloniki - Athens (train?), Athens - Delphi 28th Delphi ruins, Delphi - Athens - Corinth (arrive by evening) 29th Corinth, evening to Nafplion 30th day trip to Mycenae, back to Naf 31st Naf - Epidauros 1st Epi - Athens (evening) 2-4th Athens Fly out 7pm.

Hi!
Is it normal to display narcissistic traits only when talking to an n-parent?
I find myself finding it very difficult to apologise to her or empathise with her point of view when we argue. With everyone else in my life, though, I’m really apologetic, empathetic and open to admitting when I’m wrong. With her, I don’t even know if I am wrong. When we argue, it just feels like things get turned around in me all the time and she takes no blame for anything, so I don’t either. Does that make sense?
Like the other day, she claimed I was being rude because I asked her what she meant by over diagnosis (you can see in my post history). Now she’s saying I should apologise for being rude to her. I can’t see how I’m wrong, and just keep saying it’s a miscommunication and I’m not going to apologise for something I didn’t mean or intend.
When I was younger, I’d just apologise for everything. Now, I just feel affronted.
Is anyone else in the same boat? Does anyone else find it really difficult to see when they’re wrong with their n-parent?

Here are some of mine! Obviously, I can’t put every single word down else I would, but these are just some that really stuck to my memory, but there are so many more that are still in my top tier!
“Don’t give up! There’s no shame in falling! The only thing to be ashamed of is not getting back up!" Midorima
“No matter how many more points you have at the end of the game, if you’re not happy, that’s not a victory." Kuroko
“We don't just support each other because we're a team, we're a team because we support each other." Kiyoshi
“Now let's have some fun." Kiyoshiiii
“The only one who can beat me is me." Aomine
“I'll jam it in so hard your heads will spin!" Murasakibara
“Have fun slapping around those leathery balls, losers!” Hyūga 💀
“It’s really strange. I don’t recall meeting an idiot who can’t sort out his thoughts during a basketball game!” Kise This made me cry 😂
“Now witness my sublime form and realize, your defeat is absolute." Akashi
“This is our story! We decide how it goes!” Kagami
“A camel told me... compared to Akashi, you're just a hump in the road." Izuki ( I love his puns)
“You better add the word "revenge" to that empty dictionary of yours." Kasamatsu
“Don’t expect life to be fair” himuro (might not be a quote)
I want to add so many more! So badly but I love these a lot (og got deleted)

Hi All
I have the same dotfiles, systemd user units and config on my workstation and my laptop (Dell XPS). Both are using up-to-date Arch release. Both Hyprland.
I use swaylock-effects with the following swayidle config:

timeout 900 "$HOME/bin/screenlock.sh" timeout 3600 "hyprctl dispatch dpms off" resume "hyprctl dispatch dpms on" lock "$HOME/bin/screenlock.sh" before-sleep "$HOME/bin/screenlock.sh" after-resume 'pkill -SIGUSR2 waybar' 

screenlock.sh is just a wrapper I wrote around swaylock to take screenshots of any attached monitor, pixelate and use as lockscreen.
Workstation - sleep and resume work perfectly, as expected.
Laptop - Previously working with no issue. Recently, when opening the lid, the laptop appears frozen for about 30sec. Only after that time does it accept and react to keypress for password.
I've also tried a more simple config with both swaylock-effects and plain old swaylock.

timeout 300 swaylock lock swaylock before-sleep swaylock 

I get the same issue everytime. With plain swaylock, when opening the lid I get: - Black screen for 10sec - White screen with a mouse pointer that cannot be moved for 20 to 30sec - Only then can I enter password and log in.
I have also tried waylock with the same problems.
So, this points to the locking program not being the issue. It may not even by a hyprland issue... As yet unknown!
Here are systemd logs since last suspend: https://pastebin.com/ZCnP68y0
Does anyone have a suggestion on how I can troubleshoot this further?
Thanks in advance for any help!

Growing up, my sister and I were somewhat competitive but got along for the most part. We could play each other in sports, and although she was the better athlete, I always had the upper hand being a guy. Fast forward to today, my sister was a “late developer” and had a growth spurt and ended up getting a scholarship to row in college. She has become obsessed with lifting and does CrossFit competitions and other stuff like that. I’m happy for her, but her personality has changed because of this. She likes to comment how strong she is, and loves to put her hands around my wrists, pick me up etc… she also enjoys play wrestling me, which used to be funny when we were younger, but I no longer enjoy these competitions as I’m concerned about getting hurt due to our strength difference. I’ve tried to tell my parents this but they just laugh it off.
Last weekend we had friends over (we have mutual friends) and she had a few drinks and picked me up over her shoulder jokingly. She ended up slipping and dropping me on the ground and everybody was laughing. I was really upset and screamed at her about how she doesn’t respect me and the rowing and lifting has gotten to her head. I also threw my glass on the ground outside, causing it to shatter. She and my other friends think I overreacted but I refuse to apologize.
AITA for yelling at her and shattering my glass on the ground?

My parents got divorced when I was 11 and both of them remarried right then. Dad got the custody and we thought we would be in good hands until I realized step mother hated us. She did every possible action to move us kids away from our dad..and she got very successful on that. At 20, I met a guy online and he was VERY kind to me. Everything he said was all that I wanted to hear after years of being mistreated and hated by adults around me. 2 years into dating and we decided to get married. I told my older brother about him and they both got along really well. No one wanted me to get married because my dad wanted me to marry someone of his choice...but since I was already so fed up of the forcings, I didn't care anymore and so, the guy flew all the way from his country to mine with his family, and we got married. His family has some really really nice folks too. However after the marriage, stuff was okayish, till he had to go back now to his country to continue work etc and meanwhile here I am waiting for my visa.
So we are long distance..but it's going so bad that I feel to call it quits atleast 5 times a day. His attitude, way of speaking and all is so weird now. It's WAY different than how it was. He has gone abusive (he admits to it), his anger management has gone way worse (he knows this), and what I hate is that it's getting projected on me.
I understand time changes people and I have probably changed too but I feel lost, I feel like I have no one to vent to, I feel like I have no one around me with whom I can speak to. Whatever I speak to him about, will turn to an argument where he's just shouting.
I called his mother and spoke to her about this, to which she told me she is also very very upset towards her son since he has also been mad/rude to her. She tried explaining him last week and he did call me apologizing for his mistake. But now the same shit has happened again yesterday, where we spoke after 3-4 days because of our routines and since we finally spoke I just wanted to have a good positive talk but anything I spoke about, he would criticize it, and it ended in him shouting again.
What is the point of such a life? (I am NOT thinking to end my life so don't worry). But I'm just curious, what is the point of this all? What do I do? I can't go out so please don't recommend advices regarding going out.
Btw he was very addicted to vape (nicotine) and he has left it now which is why everyone thinks hes having anger issues).

I have had some horrific relationship experiences. And I don’t think I’ve been hurt by someone willingly trying to hurt me I just think I’ve been dumb and stupid and ignorant and that’s why my relationships have failed. It’s like I don’t understand how people feel or what they mean when they say certain things. I don’t trust my emotions cz it’s like I just don’t know/have the knowledge or the skill to understand and see the reality of what is actually going on. It’s like expecting a fish to drive a car and she’s like wtf I belong in the sea I don’t want to do this.
So anyway, now I’m 30(F). Everyone around me is married. Meanwhile I’ve moved to a whole different country and got a great job which is significantly a level up from anything I’ve done before. To some extent I also wanted to get away from the scene where my past relationships have crashed and burned so that’s there too.
My wellswishers feel sad for me as I have no dating life. I also have no willingness to find a partner or any optimism towards getting married. I cringe at the thought of developing feelings again for anybody like how could I be so stupid to have done so in the past. I feel ashamed and embarrassed when people ask me about my dating life not because I don’t have any but because i put myself in some stupid situations in the past.
I am not depressed. I’m just 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t care about any of this shit. My friends/family are really stressed thinking about my further and mental well being and old age. If I have to marry I’m pretty much ok with marrying anyone like what they say is an arranged marriage where you are just married off and there’s no interaction involved none of those show your feelings and choose a person BS. Because then it’ll be done with. 😅
Can someone tell me how this story goes? (I don’t watch a lot of movies so I don’t have a vivid imagination in terms of what could happen) (is that why I failed relationships?)

I get frustrated with genius annotations, especially re: Vampire Weekend's discography. While I was reading through some of the lyrics last night, it struck me how surface level many of the associations are on the lyric page for "Ice Cream Piano," which is a shame for such a thematically rich song.
That said, I decided to take a stab at dissecting the song as a whole, while tying some of the more obscure references with themes in the larger project.

Verse 1

"Fuck the world," /you/ said it quiet No one could hear you, no one but /me/ "Cynical, you can't deny it" 

Ezra seems to be describing a conversation between "himself" and "his partner" reacting to an unspecified issue. "She" reacted to something, and "he" criticizes that reaction. However, there is some ambiguity regarding who exactly is saying the last line; is it the singer himself, or is he quoting her as he did the opening line?
This ambiguity is a carried theme throughout the rest of the song, and as the lyrics continue, which side is throwing out accusations becomes less relevant. The implied goal of these first lines is to frame the rest of the song as an argument between two individuals, and to show the sneaky ways in which their conflicting viewpoints mirror each other.
I think it's important to mention here that, ahead of "Father of the Bride," Ezra spoke about wanting to move away from the more impressionistic style present in earlier Vampire Weekend records and experiment in writing lyrics where the general theme of the song can be understood in the first few lines. Furthermore, during the Zane Low release interview for "Only God Was Above Us," Ezra dove deep into the track listing process, stating he knew early on that "Ice Cream Piano" needed to be the opening track.
Knowing these two facts, these deceptively unassuming lines in fact carry a significant weight. Where the high-level reading describes a conflict between two individuals, the deeper understanding is that they each represent a conflicting philosophy or idea -- a conflict that will serve as the central thematic core for the album as a whole.

"You don't want to win this war 'cause you don't want the peace Armistice, /we/ never tried it *You're* the soldier, *I'm* police Listen, baby, we can't deny it You don't want to win this war 'cause you don't want the peace" 

As this section of the song is accompanied by a second vocal track, we can assume these lines as sung to each other, implying that their only point of agreement is the recognition of the other's uncompromising nature.
Armistice, simply stopping conflict, is so beyond an option because they're hypocrites -- criticizing the other based on one's subjective position. In her eyes, he's the soldier; in his, police. In this metaphor, one serves as the agitator and the other as defender.

Verse 2

The word was weaponized as soon as it had passed your lips 

The "word" here seems to be either war or peace. But with either it's a loaded offer because, as implied earlier, they're not engaging with the other's viewpoint in good faith and, as such, their criticisms are unfounded. His distaste towards cynicism and her more myopically aligned viewpoint sit diametrically opposed. Their definition of peace is incompatible. As the music builds, it seems to come in conflict with Ezra's vocals; he's nearly shouting as they climb and create a barrage of competing sounds.

I am a gentleman, I refuse to show my gentleness Fuck around and find out, the angry child recites this every day The universe will pry out, the truth which is you've got nothin' to say 

What's interesting about this verse is that, on first reading, the beginning of each statement seems to support the last -- as if said by the same person. However, on closer inspection it seems as though the following mocks the prior; "I am a gentleman, I refuse to show my gentleness" is clearly self contradictory -- as are the other two when read as single statements.
When split at their conflicting point as "I am a gentleman," and separately, "I refuse to show my gentleness," it continues to follow the theme set in Verse 1 of a conversation between two individuals. So, the verse can be read as:

I am a gentleman, I refuse to show my gentleness Fuck around and find out, the angry child recites this every day The universe will pry out, the truth which is you've got nothin' to say 

When one side says something, the other interrupts and mocks that statement. This pattern can be observed in the following two lines. However, by choosing to frame both the initial statement and its contradiction in the first person, Ezra is able to explore the narcissism present in the respective ideologies of the two individuals. They cannot see past their own egos to agree with the other, because the criticisms levied by one are exactly those which the other is accusing them of. As the verse continues, this rising tension and anger becomes more pointed and prevents either side from finishing a complete statement, the screams of one silence the other; and as they are both screaming, neither is saying anything of import.

Fuck around and find out, the angry child recites this every day 

Following this, the second line is a slightly more direct accusation, presumably in the third person.

The universe will pry out, the truth which is you've got nothin' to say 

The final line is a direct accusation, and the only of the three in second person.
It becomes clear here that Ezra seems to be less interested in the specific opposing ideas and more in the conflict between the two, and the dissonance between that conflict and each of the participant's apparent similarities. The words each one says are weaponized before they are even uttered, demolishing any chance for good faith discussion.

Chorus

In dreams, I scream piano, I softly reach the high note The world don't recognize a singer who won't sing 

There are a couple bits of wordplay happening here, outside of the dream imagery.
The first, and most obvious, is the phrasing of "Ice Cream Piano" in the title and "I Scream Piano" in the verse; pointing back to the song's overarching metaphor, "Ice Cream Piano" and "I Scream Piano" are simple homophones, which is to say they are two different ideas that are saying the same thing.
The second bit of wordplay is the actual usage of "I scream piano." Ezra is purposefully employing the Italian-rooted musical usage of "piano" which, when present in a composition, means to play that section quietly. The second half of the line turns yet another self-contradictory observation into a double-entendre; the "screaming" piano is softened by the instruction of "piano."
The first line of the chorus, when coupled with the second, paints a picture of someone who desperately wants to express their beliefs but, whether it be because the screams are quiet or because screams themselves are not songs, the "singer" and their "song" is rejected by the world at large.
Framing this whole verse as a dream connects these ideas to the larger themes of the song, as being unable to run or scream in a dream is a fairly common experience for people, it seems as though Ezra is using the chorus here to highlight the end of the second verse, "the truth which is you've got nothing to say."
Another equally valid analysis is to literalize the quiet screaming; the anger and animosity between the couple motivates them only to scream, and never to sing. Their unending fighting reduces any opportunity for growth through debate to rubble; at this point, they just don't fucking like each other.

Verse 3

You talk of Serbians, whisper Kosovar Albanians The boy's Romanian, third generation Transylvanian I see the vampires walkin', don't be gripped by fear, you aren't next We're all the sons and daughters of vampires who drained the old world's necks 

Russian iconography is further mentioned throughout "Only God Was Above Us," and serves as one of the more important throughlines of the album -- connecting Ezra's familial history in Eastern Europe, their ties with Russia, and its relationship to modern issues. This, as the first reference in the album to Russia at large, works as a bit of place setting.
Here, the specific namedrops highlight the same conflict described earlier in the song; the Serbians and Kosovo were once a united country as Yugoslavia, but were split by civil war as a result of fundamental ideological differences at the end of the last millennium. Moreover, the usage of "talk" versus "whisper" implies open discussion about the first (Serbia) and the need to sweep the more complicated history of the second (The Kosovar Albanians, the Kosovo War) under the rug.
The conflict between Romania, Kosovo, and Serbia is a deeply complicated and delicate situation that spans generations of ideological and political conflict. The mention of the Romanian's history surrounded by the context of Serbia and Kosovo, and the subsequent criticism of that observation, again highlights the nature of the conflict between the two individuals in the song: where one recognizes the material legacy of these terrible "vampires," the other points out that the new generation is not the old, and are not necessarily beholden to their crimes or traditions.

Chorus 2

In dreams, I scream piano, I softly reach the high note The world don't recognize a singer who won't sing 

Outro / Chorus 3

In dreams, I scream piano, I softly reach the high note The world don't recognize a singer who won't sing 

The repetition of the choruses at the end of the song, combined with the strong call-and-response of the instrumentation between and after the chorus and outro sections, points towards an unending conflict. By the end of the song's narrative, neither side has arrived at a compromise. In reference to the album, "Ice Cream Piano" serves as a massive "YOU ARE HERE" marker on a larger map of western and American political culture. There's a pretty clear line to draw from the struggle between the two characters described in this song and the ouroboric nature of modern-day political discourse, as we witness two parties cannibalize each other in an attempt to garner support from a majority of peoples. But to say that's the entire message of the song feels reductive to the incredible songwriting here. Even that conclusion lends to the broader observation of two ideas that exist only to oppose the other.
Fuckin Ezra, man

My 1st personal encounter with someone was back in SHS, it was with my C.L. teacher.
Basically, she was conducting a lesson about sin and the usual. At one point though, she started taking about how the act of sex is a sin, then she talked about how it's better for a woman to get raped because she didn't conscent to it, rather than have consensual sex with someone because she chose to do it and enjoyed it. I looked around my classroom and all of them had a "yeah" look on their face. Alam ko na hindi sila naga-agree sa sinabi nung teacher ko and they were just waiting for her to finish talking about her belief, pero I just couldn't let her keep talking about it, so I spoke up. I basically said something like, "Uhm...ma'am, parang baliktad po. Okay po na nakipag-consensual sex and isang babae since may choice po siya doon, kaysa na-rape siya since napilit po siya."
Then...she thought that I was confused and said something like: "Ay, ano bang hindi mo naintindihan sa sinabi ko?" She then proceeded to basically repeat what she just stated. She thought that hindi ko naintindihan yung sinabi niya, I was talking about the ethical issue with what she said.
Then after repeating what she said, she asked if naiintindihan ko na ba yung sinabi niya, then I thought to myself, " Oh, you're one of those? Sige, ikaw na yung tama." I replied with an opo so that she'd just stop talking preaching about it then asked to go out because I couldn't bear to be inside with someone who likes to force their belief on others.

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