Take over payments of car agreement
r/CarTalk
2010.09.20 06:45 darthcaldwell r/CarTalk
The place to talk about your car
2013.04.28 18:55 Jdibs77 Awesome Car Mods
A subreddit devoted to car modifications that are awesome. This subreddit is pretty simple, the title says it all.
2016.02.12 15:58 Seven-Force Rocket League Fashion Advice
This is a place to show off and discuss customization of Rocket League cars.
2024.05.16 09:22 thisshowisdecent My New Job Is Hell Because of OCD Part 2
My original post: My New Job Is Hell because of OCD: Plus a bonus rant
I didn't intend to create a series, but I have no other ideas of how to title my posts. The original post is an angry rant and part 2 will be similar because I have no outlet to voice my frustration.
I thought that I would add "Part 2" to the OCD Journal after receiving an invite.
In my original post - the now official Part 1 - I mentioned that I started working for a retailer fulfilling online orders. Customers can buy their groceries online and pick them up in person. Many of you probably use a service like this.
My latest "crisis" involves the fear of contamination and illness/death.
The other day there was an accident when a coworker helped me carry out a large order to the customer's car. Most of the time, one person can carry out an order, but once in a while a customer will order so much stuff that it can take two people to bring it outside.
My coworker was pulling the biggest chunk of the order - a cart containing ten totes as two stakes of five - while I pulled the smaller chunk on a separate cart. To give you an idea of the height for a stack of 5, the top of the tote comes somewhere at my head or forehead. For your reference, I'm 5 feet 9 inches (175 cm for our Euro buddies).
After we arrived to the customer's car and greeted ourselves, my coworker, who was still controlling the larger cart, pushed it forward to get in better loading position. But upon doing so, the cart hit a bump or a crack that caused the front stack to fall off and crash.
At first it seemed fine. Nothing looked broken and we proceeded to load the customer's car while checking items for damage as we loaded. But after a few minutes my coworker says "hold this," and upon turning around I see that he's holding a broken plastic egg carton that was still leaking raw egg even through its extra plastic bag (the same bag that you put raw meat containers in to protect against leaks).
I had to bring the gooey bag and leaky carton back to the staging area and then retrieved the replacement. I had no time to wash my hands so I used the clean hand to bring out the fresh eggs and then used my one clean hand to awkwardly finish loading the groceries.
However, I realized immediately that my coworker probably had raw egg on his hand(s) while he finished loading the groceries. And to make it worse, he also had borrowed my scanner. So in my mind I was immediately apprehensive that things weren't clean.
I took my scanner inside and set if off to the side on some random shelf in the warehouse. Then I walked to the break room, checking my surroundings for any Clorox wipes on the way, and washed my hands.
Over the course of my shift, I kept looking for wipes or thinking of how to get some, while also hoping no one touched the contaminated scanner. I really wanted to disinfect the scanner because of my fear that it would cross contaminate everything else.
I eventually remembered that the front of the store had wipes for customers to use on their carts. However, I kept forgetting to get them and eventually forgot completely before I left work.
To my horror today, that scanner wasn't in the same location, which meant it got placed back with all the others. I stupidly just left it an easily accessible area so someone easily found it.
So today I felt guilty because of the contamination and the catastrophizing about the result of the contamination.
Because contaminated scanner > contaminates other scanners and tools > workers touching those tools and cross contaminating other tools and totes > workers contaminating other groceries that they pick for customers > customers receiving contaminated groceries and dying.
There's a part of me that ironically doesn't feel much fear because it's probably far fetched that every item would receive the same level of contamination. At the same time, I still hate that I couldn't have cleaned that scanner, even though I'm not sure if those wipes actually disinfect that well.
Still, throughout work today I kept sneaking away to retrieve those disinfecting wipes so that I could disinfect my own scanner at least for that day. I feel as though I have to assume that every scanner is contaminated now.
Part of me wishes that I would've just told someone not to touch the scanner until I had a chance to clean it. But I was too embarrassed. I also feel pissed off at my coworker for contaminating the scanner and I feel that he should've cleaned it on my behalf even though I'm aware that non-OCD sufferers don't have the same qualms about germs.
At the same time, I also feel that one doesn't need to have OCD to have concern about contamination, which makes me feel afraid that maybe this was a real concern.
I'm also aware that before I even started working there, there must have been worse accidents in the past that contaminated those same tools and totes. So I probably already came into contact with contaminated items without realizing it. But because this accident happened while I was there, I feel responsible for containing the damage.
I tried ignoring the intrusive thoughts. Before one of my sessions picking items today, I forgot to grab wipes for my scanner. I was already out on the floor and didn't feel like going to the front of the store to retrieve the wipes, so I just started to pick items without disinfecting my scanner.
However, when I was picking the items I kept thinking about how maybe my hands had salmonella on them and that I could be spreading those germs on the customer's items.
For my last session picking I retrieved the wipes even though it's probably moot and I'm not sure I can do that forever.
This situation has got me feeling upset, scared, numb, insane, guilty, exasperated, hopeless, and perplexed.
I'm upset that I have this illness. I'm upset that my coworker knocked over those totes and contaminated my scanner. I'm upset that they put me into a terrible OCD dilemma. I'm upset that I am again dealing with work related obsessions (I left a previous job mostly due to OCD).
I'm scared of someone dying due to the contamination which then causes me to get arrested.
I'm numb because I'm tired of being responsible for everything which makes me want to shut down so that I don't have to feel negative emotions. I'm also tired from the burden carrying them all the time.
I'm insane because I feel like the only person around living in this OCD world.
I feel guilty about contaminating the environment at work that could get someone killed.
I'm exasperated that OCD ruins everything.
I feel hopeless because I don't know if I can ever feel normal again.
I'm perplexed that OCD destroys and ruins life so easily.
submitted by thisshowisdecent to OCDJournal [link] [comments]
I didn't intend to create a series, but I have no other ideas of how to title my posts. The original post is an angry rant and part 2 will be similar because I have no outlet to voice my frustration.
I thought that I would add "Part 2" to the OCD Journal after receiving an invite.
In my original post - the now official Part 1 - I mentioned that I started working for a retailer fulfilling online orders. Customers can buy their groceries online and pick them up in person. Many of you probably use a service like this.
My latest "crisis" involves the fear of contamination and illness/death.
My coworker was pulling the biggest chunk of the order - a cart containing ten totes as two stakes of five - while I pulled the smaller chunk on a separate cart. To give you an idea of the height for a stack of 5, the top of the tote comes somewhere at my head or forehead. For your reference, I'm 5 feet 9 inches (175 cm for our Euro buddies).
After we arrived to the customer's car and greeted ourselves, my coworker, who was still controlling the larger cart, pushed it forward to get in better loading position. But upon doing so, the cart hit a bump or a crack that caused the front stack to fall off and crash.
At first it seemed fine. Nothing looked broken and we proceeded to load the customer's car while checking items for damage as we loaded. But after a few minutes my coworker says "hold this," and upon turning around I see that he's holding a broken plastic egg carton that was still leaking raw egg even through its extra plastic bag (the same bag that you put raw meat containers in to protect against leaks).
I had to bring the gooey bag and leaky carton back to the staging area and then retrieved the replacement. I had no time to wash my hands so I used the clean hand to bring out the fresh eggs and then used my one clean hand to awkwardly finish loading the groceries.
However, I realized immediately that my coworker probably had raw egg on his hand(s) while he finished loading the groceries. And to make it worse, he also had borrowed my scanner. So in my mind I was immediately apprehensive that things weren't clean.
I took my scanner inside and set if off to the side on some random shelf in the warehouse. Then I walked to the break room, checking my surroundings for any Clorox wipes on the way, and washed my hands.
Over the course of my shift, I kept looking for wipes or thinking of how to get some, while also hoping no one touched the contaminated scanner. I really wanted to disinfect the scanner because of my fear that it would cross contaminate everything else.
I eventually remembered that the front of the store had wipes for customers to use on their carts. However, I kept forgetting to get them and eventually forgot completely before I left work.
To my horror today, that scanner wasn't in the same location, which meant it got placed back with all the others. I stupidly just left it an easily accessible area so someone easily found it.
Because contaminated scanner > contaminates other scanners and tools > workers touching those tools and cross contaminating other tools and totes > workers contaminating other groceries that they pick for customers > customers receiving contaminated groceries and dying.
There's a part of me that ironically doesn't feel much fear because it's probably far fetched that every item would receive the same level of contamination. At the same time, I still hate that I couldn't have cleaned that scanner, even though I'm not sure if those wipes actually disinfect that well.
Still, throughout work today I kept sneaking away to retrieve those disinfecting wipes so that I could disinfect my own scanner at least for that day. I feel as though I have to assume that every scanner is contaminated now.
At the same time, I also feel that one doesn't need to have OCD to have concern about contamination, which makes me feel afraid that maybe this was a real concern.
I'm also aware that before I even started working there, there must have been worse accidents in the past that contaminated those same tools and totes. So I probably already came into contact with contaminated items without realizing it. But because this accident happened while I was there, I feel responsible for containing the damage.
However, when I was picking the items I kept thinking about how maybe my hands had salmonella on them and that I could be spreading those germs on the customer's items.
For my last session picking I retrieved the wipes even though it's probably moot and I'm not sure I can do that forever.
I'm upset that I have this illness. I'm upset that my coworker knocked over those totes and contaminated my scanner. I'm upset that they put me into a terrible OCD dilemma. I'm upset that I am again dealing with work related obsessions (I left a previous job mostly due to OCD).
I'm scared of someone dying due to the contamination which then causes me to get arrested.
I'm numb because I'm tired of being responsible for everything which makes me want to shut down so that I don't have to feel negative emotions. I'm also tired from the burden carrying them all the time.
I'm insane because I feel like the only person around living in this OCD world.
I feel guilty about contaminating the environment at work that could get someone killed.
I'm exasperated that OCD ruins everything.
I feel hopeless because I don't know if I can ever feel normal again.
I'm perplexed that OCD destroys and ruins life so easily.
2024.05.16 09:20 Swe3tnL0w [landlord - Glendale, CA] After a 3 Day Notice, tenant is not curing. They've been renting here for almost 20 years.
Long story short, these current tenants took over as head of household about 2 years ago but they, as a collective family, have been renting for almost 20 years. I have a lease agreement written since 2023 with signatures and lease renewal etc but no other paper documentation of security deposit or identification. These tenants have been known to be 2-3 weeks late on rent so now with their dragged out lies, I want to take action. All they do is sit around, do drugs all day & all night, and ignore my calls/texts. I've issued a 3 day notice before, but they were able to cure it. Now it's another notice and they continue to ignore my messages. The 3 day notice is now expired and I want to take this straight to court, I don't believe these tenants are reasonable for doing 'cash for keys' and I don't want to lead into their lies anymore.
What are my chances of losing this case and what can I do to prevent that? I'm prepared for a lengthy case, I just want them out in the most reasonable way. What I'm afraid of is if they pull a failure to repair case or stating I didn't deliver the 3 day notice properly. They've complained about some minor (tenant damaged) repairs that needed to be done but never addressed anything in writing and I haven't heard anything in a year. As far as the notice , I taped it up on their front gate and sent it via Ceritifed USPS with return receipt. I didn't take pictures of the posted notice though, but I noticed they took it down shortly after posting it. Few notes: they rent with cash and we pay for their water bill. It’s a 2 house property (I live in one and they live in the other) Thanks in advance!
submitted by Swe3tnL0w to Landlord [link] [comments]
What are my chances of losing this case and what can I do to prevent that? I'm prepared for a lengthy case, I just want them out in the most reasonable way. What I'm afraid of is if they pull a failure to repair case or stating I didn't deliver the 3 day notice properly. They've complained about some minor (tenant damaged) repairs that needed to be done but never addressed anything in writing and I haven't heard anything in a year. As far as the notice , I taped it up on their front gate and sent it via Ceritifed USPS with return receipt. I didn't take pictures of the posted notice though, but I noticed they took it down shortly after posting it. Few notes: they rent with cash and we pay for their water bill. It’s a 2 house property (I live in one and they live in the other) Thanks in advance!
2024.05.16 09:16 FancyInvestment397 Is MetaWin Gambling Site Legit? MetaWin Reviewed & Bonus Revealed in 2024
 | MetaWin is an online gambling platform that supports classic casino games, instant-win competitions, and NFT collectibles. Players benefit from anonymous accounts, instant payouts, and high RTP (return-to-player). submitted by FancyInvestment397 to GamblingSites [link] [comments] MetaWin But that begs the question: Is MetaWin legit? In this MetaWin review, we cover everything from safety and legitimacy to available games, payments, user experience, and much more. What is MetaWin?MetaWin is a popular gambling site that operates on the Ethereum blockchain. As a decentralized platform, MetaWin allows players to gamble online without revealing their identity. In fact, players are not required to open an account – let alone upload KYC documents. Instead, players simply need to connect their wallet to the MetaWin website to begin gambling.So what games does MetaWin offer? There are three core divisions on the MetaWin platform. First, there are MetaWin competitions. These are similar to online lotteries but with a core difference – results are determined by smart contract technology. In other words, competition outcomes are guaranteed for their randomness and fairness. Best of all, many MetaWin competitions are free to enter. But to increase the chances of winning, players can purchase additional tickets. MetaWin Crypto Gambling Site Another segment of the MetaWin platform is instant-win games. This covers a wide range of classic and new-age casino games. This includes popular table games, including baccarat, roulette, and blackjack. These games are backed by regulated software providers like Pragmatic Play. MetaWin also allows players to access live dealer table games. This offers a real-world casino experience but with cryptocurrencies. What’s more, MetaWin also offers a wide range of slot games, including plenty of megaways and jackpots. Our MetaWin review also found that the platform allows players to win NFTs. These are popular NFTs that trade on OpenSea and can be won via a lottery-style competition. Not only does MetaWin offer a broad selection of gambling products alongside anonymous accounts, but payouts are instant. Players can move funds between their wallets and the MetaWin platform at the click of a button. MetaWin supports some of the best crypto wallets, including MetaMask. That said, those looking for a Bitcoin casino will be disappointed – as MetaWin only accepts Ethereum. MetaWin Pros and ConsStill exploring the question: Is MetaWin legit? Below, we summarize our MetaWin review with the platform’s best and worst features:Pros
Is MetaWin Regulated & Licensed?MetaWin is a blockchain-based casino that allows players to gamble anonymously. The main caveat here is that, unlike traditional gambling sites, MetaWin is not regulated. This isn’t a huge surprise considering the anonymous nature of cryptocurrencies in general.Crucially, players will need to assess the risks of using an unlicensed casino when gambling online. If privacy and anonymity are important factors, then a compromise on regulation needs to be had. That said, many of the games available on MetaWin are backed by Pragmatic Play. For those unaware, Pragmatic Play is one of the most reputable casino software providers in the market. What’s more, Pragmatic Play is regulated by the UK’s Gambling Commission. This ensures that instant-win casino games on MetaWin are true, fair, and 100% random. 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For instance, consider that all Ethereum transactions are posted to the blockchain. This means that players have undeniable proof of deposits and withdrawals. While there should be any issues in this regard, this is a handy safeguard if a payment doesn’t arrive on time. That said, MetaWin payments are almost always credited instantly.Is MetaWin Fair?One of the most important metrics to explore when gambling online is the fairness of gaming outcomes.There are two segments to this discussion. First, MetaWin competitions are backed by smart contracts. While instant-win casino games like blackjack and slots are provided by third parties. Let’s explore the fairness of MetaWin games in more detail. Smart Contract-Backed CompetitionsAs we cover in more detail shortly, one of the most popular gambling products on MetaWin is its competition. For example, an ongoing MetaWin competition is offering a 5 ETH prize pot. 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MetaWin NFTsAnother popular feature of MetaWin is it allows players to win NFTs. Currently, there are three NFTs available, and both trade on OpenSea.First, is the ‘Beanz’ NFT, #12022. MetaWin states that this NFT is currently worth $2,755. While there are lower floor prices on the OpenSea website, #12022 comes with rarer traits. In order to stand a chance of winning this NFT, players must hold at least two ‘Reepz’ NFTs. These currently have a floor price of 0.07 ETH on OpenSea, or about $130. MetaWin is also hosting NFT competitions on the ‘Killabears’ collection. There are currently two individual collections. #9 is currently valued at $3,637. While #2117 is valued at $5,511. These figures are provided by MetaWin, so be sure to check the floor prices on OpenSea before proceeding. Unlike the Beanze NFT competition, there is no requirement to hold another NFT to enter. Instead, players can buy tickets. 1 ticket costs 0.019 ETH. But lower cost prices are available when buying a larger quantity of tickets. MetaWin BonusesOne of the main drawbacks of MetaWin is that it does not offer a welcome package to new players. Nor does it offer any regular promotions for existing players.Those looking for generous welcome packages and promotions can check out our guide on the best Bitcoin casinos for 2024. Is MetaWin Legit?Now that we have explored the platform from top to bottom, let’s evaluate the question: Is Metawin legit?On the one hand, MetaWin is a new casino site with a limited track record. Moreover, MetaWin operates without a casino license. That said, this is standard practice in the blockchain gambling space. After all, operating away from traditional gambling bodies allows players to gamble anonymously and privately. Furthermore, MetaWin instant-win games are backed by Pragmatic Play. This is a reputable and regulated software provider with a great reputation. All of the Pragmatic Play games supplied to MetaWin have gone through a testing and auditing process, enduring fairness. Its lottery and NFT competitions are also legit. As mentioned, these are backed by open-source smart contracts. Gaming outcomes are guaranteed for their fairness, and the underlying code can be checked at any time. All that being said, MetaWin does come with its drawbacks. For example, its gaming suite is limited when compared to other crypto casinos. While it covers the most popular gambling products, the number of available titles is small. This will likely increase once MetaWin forms partnerships with additional software providers. Another drawback is that MetaWin does not offer any casino bonuses. This means that players are not incentivized to open an account and remain on the platform long-term. We were also disappointed to see that MetaWin only supports Ethereum payments. Those looking to deposit Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies will need to look elsewhere. ConclusionIn summary, we found that MetaWin is a legit casino that offers a broad selection of games, generous competition payouts, and anonymous accounts. |
2024.05.16 09:13 No-Gur-2410 New Here, Advice Please
Hi! New here. Using a different account as recommended.
I (22F) recently met my MM (35M) at my job. When first approached by him, He was really sweet/nice & respectful. After 3 days or so of seeing me around and talking to me, he asked for my number and offered to take me out.
I was very hesitant as to me it seemed unreal. He is from a different cultural background and he would send certain texts and say certain things about me (my looks) that I have never heard a man in the U.S. say to me before lol. After getting to know him a little more, I now know that is just how he talks and it isn’t fake. He tells me im beautiful all the time and how I take his breath away, how he wants to gaze into my beautiful eyes, etc lol. These things are sweet to me but also out of the norm for me so I don’t know how to exactly receive them other than blush and say thank you.
Fast forward, we were planning a date to the movies and a week or so before, his SO caught him in my car. We weren’t doing anything, just talking & he was kind of playing in my hair and touching my back, nothing crazy. We never got to go out as you would expect. We had met up in that parking lot two times. The first night, he drove to my city and all was fine & the second night, the same & that’s when everything happened. Come to find out, she was tracking him the first time but just couldn’t find out where he was.
I didn’t really know how to take that whole interaction and he apologized for it trying to get back into my good graces and told me that he didn’t know she was tracking him to where we were. He said he didn’t know she turned his location on his phone and it never occurred for him to check as he doesn’t recall when they shared locations before coming to the U.S. or even when they first got here. I do want to say that, he told me that this is the first time he’s ever gone out of his way to actually meet up with someone outside of his marriage and that he had never done this before & I do believe it as he is really sloppy and come to find out, he didn’t even delete our text messages in the beginning when we first started talking. For reference, it’s only been about a month and some change since we’ve been talking and engaging with each other.
We kept talking of course, he has sent me money, we’ve talked on the phone for hours some days/nights when she’s not around, he even told me that he’s in love with me. I told him, I’ve never been in love so im not sure if that’s what I feel for him or what exactly it feels like but I know I do have love and care for him (deeply). We connect on a different level than other people I have talked to, he’s emotionally mature and likes to talk things out, he makes me feel comfortable sexually and just in general and I can be my full self with him as with other people I sometimes feel as if I have to hold back lol. Things have moved kinda fast with us but it also doesn’t feel unnatural and it feels good and I like spending time with him and just talking to him about anything.
More time goes by and I end up just getting a hotel by myself (just for fun lol, I love hotels). I did invite him and we didn’t have sex but he definitely made me feel good and wanted. We go to the mall, walk around a little, and I see him that same night on his lunch break at work and we separate. Fast forward some more lol, his SO ends up finding out he sent me money and that’s a whole thing. We meet up a week or so after that at the mall & the park. Those two days, I went to his house after (im really not sure if this was bad or not as I have seen some people say on the adultery subreddit this is probably a bad idea). I go there and again, we didn’t have sex but he makes sure im good of course.
I have never engaged in a physical affair with anyone and I truly don’t believe he has before (bc of his sloppiness) There has been one women he told me about who was married like him & had kids, but from what he tells me, it didn’t go far (not as far as it has went with me). He also doesn’t have kids with his partner.
About 3 days or so after that, his SO finds out through a recording device put somewhere in the house. I can be heard on it of course. I’m not sure if you would call these D-Days or not but he’s been found out a lot within just this one month of talking and even still continues to go out of his way to contact me if not through his phone, through a friend at work or his other phone. We have not met up outside of work after those days at his house and have only talked on the phone or seen each other at work and talked there. We’ve also done a little more at work besides that as well. (Always out of view of course).
Their relationship right now from what he tells me and how we are communicating right now seems like prisoner and warden. There are recording devices all around their home. (He recently found one and moved it only for her to put it back). He goes outside to talk to me otp because of the devices in the home, every time he leaves work she demands to go through his phone, his location is always on, etc. she even came to work one time thinking he was up to something or maybe that I would be there and she would catch him. I wasn’t. (She doesn’t know exactly what I look like & doesn’t know my name). He’s never talks negatively of her and honestly I would feel weird if he did. I do ask questions and he answers them but generally he just tells me that what she is doing is in the norm (culturally, I think?) & even though he doesn’t like it, he has to abide by whatever agreement they have right now.
She’s tried to bait me a couple times. She went through his phone and called me, expecting me to answer but I didn’t and I ended up calling back but no answer and then she called back, I answered and then she hung up. I did think this was him at the time but she hung up right when I said “hello?”. There was then a follow up text (as her, but I thought it was him) saying that “my wife just wanted to make sure I ended things and called to confirm.” She texted me from the app we use and said “hey” wanting to catch him in something (our thread was deleted but she found my number on the app). It was also the weekend and that didn’t make sense to me. (I was also sleep lol). We usually don’t talk on the weekends for obvious reasons and also the weekends are times for myself as me and him do talk throughout the week and at work.
After all of this, we talked recently & I am not exactly sure im looking for a solution but maybe just opinions, advice, anything you can offer lol. I really do like him but I am fine with cutting contact as it hasn’t been that long and even though I really connect with him, he sometimes talks as if he deserves the lack of privacy she’s given him within his own home and even work life.
I never asked him to leave his partner or choose because I know I don’t want that (I’m poly) but I do want to spend more alone time with him and see more of him (he might be moving states, not sure). But, his situation just seems like it might not be setup for us to do that like we did a couple times before. I also tell him that I feel as if there is more he could do as far as trying to see me, finding out ways to hang out but like I said I’m not sure if what we have is even a possibility anymore. I don’t feel as if I should be telling someone how to act in an affair (if that makes sense lmao). I guess I’m just not sure if I should move forward with continuing talking to him or not?? I know he definitely wants to continue talking.
I will say that even though his location has been being tracked & also those times we hung out before, he’s found a way to see me multiple times.
I have seen a lot of people talk about OPSEC but it kinda feels as if he wants to get caught or either doesn’t care which is why he is so sloppy. He has said himself (while exploring his own thoughts) that maybe he has acted this way because he wanted to get caught. He’s told me since he’s met me that he doesn’t feel the same for her as he did. (They’ve been married 8 years now I think?)
submitted by No-Gur-2410 to theotherwoman [link] [comments]
I (22F) recently met my MM (35M) at my job. When first approached by him, He was really sweet/nice & respectful. After 3 days or so of seeing me around and talking to me, he asked for my number and offered to take me out.
I was very hesitant as to me it seemed unreal. He is from a different cultural background and he would send certain texts and say certain things about me (my looks) that I have never heard a man in the U.S. say to me before lol. After getting to know him a little more, I now know that is just how he talks and it isn’t fake. He tells me im beautiful all the time and how I take his breath away, how he wants to gaze into my beautiful eyes, etc lol. These things are sweet to me but also out of the norm for me so I don’t know how to exactly receive them other than blush and say thank you.
Fast forward, we were planning a date to the movies and a week or so before, his SO caught him in my car. We weren’t doing anything, just talking & he was kind of playing in my hair and touching my back, nothing crazy. We never got to go out as you would expect. We had met up in that parking lot two times. The first night, he drove to my city and all was fine & the second night, the same & that’s when everything happened. Come to find out, she was tracking him the first time but just couldn’t find out where he was.
I didn’t really know how to take that whole interaction and he apologized for it trying to get back into my good graces and told me that he didn’t know she was tracking him to where we were. He said he didn’t know she turned his location on his phone and it never occurred for him to check as he doesn’t recall when they shared locations before coming to the U.S. or even when they first got here. I do want to say that, he told me that this is the first time he’s ever gone out of his way to actually meet up with someone outside of his marriage and that he had never done this before & I do believe it as he is really sloppy and come to find out, he didn’t even delete our text messages in the beginning when we first started talking. For reference, it’s only been about a month and some change since we’ve been talking and engaging with each other.
We kept talking of course, he has sent me money, we’ve talked on the phone for hours some days/nights when she’s not around, he even told me that he’s in love with me. I told him, I’ve never been in love so im not sure if that’s what I feel for him or what exactly it feels like but I know I do have love and care for him (deeply). We connect on a different level than other people I have talked to, he’s emotionally mature and likes to talk things out, he makes me feel comfortable sexually and just in general and I can be my full self with him as with other people I sometimes feel as if I have to hold back lol. Things have moved kinda fast with us but it also doesn’t feel unnatural and it feels good and I like spending time with him and just talking to him about anything.
More time goes by and I end up just getting a hotel by myself (just for fun lol, I love hotels). I did invite him and we didn’t have sex but he definitely made me feel good and wanted. We go to the mall, walk around a little, and I see him that same night on his lunch break at work and we separate. Fast forward some more lol, his SO ends up finding out he sent me money and that’s a whole thing. We meet up a week or so after that at the mall & the park. Those two days, I went to his house after (im really not sure if this was bad or not as I have seen some people say on the adultery subreddit this is probably a bad idea). I go there and again, we didn’t have sex but he makes sure im good of course.
I have never engaged in a physical affair with anyone and I truly don’t believe he has before (bc of his sloppiness) There has been one women he told me about who was married like him & had kids, but from what he tells me, it didn’t go far (not as far as it has went with me). He also doesn’t have kids with his partner.
About 3 days or so after that, his SO finds out through a recording device put somewhere in the house. I can be heard on it of course. I’m not sure if you would call these D-Days or not but he’s been found out a lot within just this one month of talking and even still continues to go out of his way to contact me if not through his phone, through a friend at work or his other phone. We have not met up outside of work after those days at his house and have only talked on the phone or seen each other at work and talked there. We’ve also done a little more at work besides that as well. (Always out of view of course).
Their relationship right now from what he tells me and how we are communicating right now seems like prisoner and warden. There are recording devices all around their home. (He recently found one and moved it only for her to put it back). He goes outside to talk to me otp because of the devices in the home, every time he leaves work she demands to go through his phone, his location is always on, etc. she even came to work one time thinking he was up to something or maybe that I would be there and she would catch him. I wasn’t. (She doesn’t know exactly what I look like & doesn’t know my name). He’s never talks negatively of her and honestly I would feel weird if he did. I do ask questions and he answers them but generally he just tells me that what she is doing is in the norm (culturally, I think?) & even though he doesn’t like it, he has to abide by whatever agreement they have right now.
She’s tried to bait me a couple times. She went through his phone and called me, expecting me to answer but I didn’t and I ended up calling back but no answer and then she called back, I answered and then she hung up. I did think this was him at the time but she hung up right when I said “hello?”. There was then a follow up text (as her, but I thought it was him) saying that “my wife just wanted to make sure I ended things and called to confirm.” She texted me from the app we use and said “hey” wanting to catch him in something (our thread was deleted but she found my number on the app). It was also the weekend and that didn’t make sense to me. (I was also sleep lol). We usually don’t talk on the weekends for obvious reasons and also the weekends are times for myself as me and him do talk throughout the week and at work.
After all of this, we talked recently & I am not exactly sure im looking for a solution but maybe just opinions, advice, anything you can offer lol. I really do like him but I am fine with cutting contact as it hasn’t been that long and even though I really connect with him, he sometimes talks as if he deserves the lack of privacy she’s given him within his own home and even work life.
I never asked him to leave his partner or choose because I know I don’t want that (I’m poly) but I do want to spend more alone time with him and see more of him (he might be moving states, not sure). But, his situation just seems like it might not be setup for us to do that like we did a couple times before. I also tell him that I feel as if there is more he could do as far as trying to see me, finding out ways to hang out but like I said I’m not sure if what we have is even a possibility anymore. I don’t feel as if I should be telling someone how to act in an affair (if that makes sense lmao). I guess I’m just not sure if I should move forward with continuing talking to him or not?? I know he definitely wants to continue talking.
I will say that even though his location has been being tracked & also those times we hung out before, he’s found a way to see me multiple times.
I have seen a lot of people talk about OPSEC but it kinda feels as if he wants to get caught or either doesn’t care which is why he is so sloppy. He has said himself (while exploring his own thoughts) that maybe he has acted this way because he wanted to get caught. He’s told me since he’s met me that he doesn’t feel the same for her as he did. (They’ve been married 8 years now I think?)
2024.05.16 09:11 Astrophel6326 help?? i’m young and dumb
i’m trying to buy legitimately my dream car on facebook marketplace. the guy seems really cool and the car is in really good condition. i am fully aware that buying cars online, he could sell it before im financially ready or for whatever reason i can miss out. i’m prepared for that possibility but i am also trying to do whatever i can to make sure i dont miss out.
i dont have a very good pick of influences in my life to go to with these questions so i’m honestly pretty desperate, but anyways here goes.
hes asking for 8k for a 97 honda del sol. its got fancy parts added and an underglow kit and its really good quality. i will need a loan but i can save up most within a few months and he said if i can get a timeline he will hold the car for me.
i told him around 6 months but i can save up around 4k in around 3-4 months (the extra 2-3 would give me a buffer for hour changes and paycheck fluctuation) and id either have to take out a loan or he said we could do payments.
my main question is, i’m trying to be honest without sharing too many details so A- would it be too much of a pushover move to say i understand if my timeline doesnt work for him and B- would it make me appear like a slacketoo poor if i were to mention needing a loan
i’m 21 and this would be my first big purchase on my own but seeing as im already so motivated to be able to get this car i i think its the push i needed to get out and be more independent.
so if anyone can give me advice or tips on how to go about this i would greatly appreciate it.
submitted by Astrophel6326 to askcarguys [link] [comments]
i dont have a very good pick of influences in my life to go to with these questions so i’m honestly pretty desperate, but anyways here goes.
hes asking for 8k for a 97 honda del sol. its got fancy parts added and an underglow kit and its really good quality. i will need a loan but i can save up most within a few months and he said if i can get a timeline he will hold the car for me.
i told him around 6 months but i can save up around 4k in around 3-4 months (the extra 2-3 would give me a buffer for hour changes and paycheck fluctuation) and id either have to take out a loan or he said we could do payments.
my main question is, i’m trying to be honest without sharing too many details so A- would it be too much of a pushover move to say i understand if my timeline doesnt work for him and B- would it make me appear like a slacketoo poor if i were to mention needing a loan
i’m 21 and this would be my first big purchase on my own but seeing as im already so motivated to be able to get this car i i think its the push i needed to get out and be more independent.
so if anyone can give me advice or tips on how to go about this i would greatly appreciate it.
2024.05.16 09:03 ArticleFragrant1311 Harrison Butker said nothing wrong, it's being taken wrong
Since when is women prioritizing being a mother a controversial opinion?
In a perfect America where the wealth is distributed better (before the anti-family scum Reagan took office, sue me he ruined this country I don't care what you think about this) women would be able to stay home and care for the children. That would be a normal thing. Men have five minutes (give or take) of work to produce a child while women have nine months. Women are just naturally the child caregiver. Why would it make sense for women to have to go through nine months of pregnancy just to be told that they need to go back to work and their husband will stay home to take care of the kids?
Obviously this doesn't happen in real life because it's not possible in the modern economy for the average person to rely on a single income but in a perfect world its just common sense.
Women should value children over careers and I feel like if you disagree you probably shouldn't have children. I mean men should put children above careers too but not in the same way. Men are the ones to provide, that's all part of the unwritten agreement. All you did was dump you load, go get resources for your family while you significant other struggles through pregnancy.
In a perfect world women wouldn't need careers, pretty much all he means. But now you need one and it sucks. I don't think he believes you should starve so you can be with your kids.
Women are perfectly capable of doing the same jobs that men do, I think people are taking this as women aren't as capable as men. It's simply a natural thing. Women are not second class citizens by any means, it simply just makes natural sense for them to caregivers. It's really not all that controversial.
Republicans made this an impossible reality though, now you need two wages unless you happen to be married to a senior executive or a CEO! If you make over ten million a year and you have employees that you employ or are in charge of who make substantially less, please go fuck yourself. You are selfish and should never even claim to be a Christian. If you somehow generated this wealth without exploiting others (so pretty much professional athletes and lottery winners) congrats.
I'm not even that Christian or a hardcore Republican, its just common sense. This was a ramble, please feel free to call me out.
TLDR: Women are just as capable as men. It makes natural sense for women to be caregivers (9 months vs 5 minutes). This reality is not possible in the modern world because you need two incomes but we should strive to make it a reality once again.
submitted by ArticleFragrant1311 to Rants [link] [comments]
In a perfect America where the wealth is distributed better (before the anti-family scum Reagan took office, sue me he ruined this country I don't care what you think about this) women would be able to stay home and care for the children. That would be a normal thing. Men have five minutes (give or take) of work to produce a child while women have nine months. Women are just naturally the child caregiver. Why would it make sense for women to have to go through nine months of pregnancy just to be told that they need to go back to work and their husband will stay home to take care of the kids?
Obviously this doesn't happen in real life because it's not possible in the modern economy for the average person to rely on a single income but in a perfect world its just common sense.
Women should value children over careers and I feel like if you disagree you probably shouldn't have children. I mean men should put children above careers too but not in the same way. Men are the ones to provide, that's all part of the unwritten agreement. All you did was dump you load, go get resources for your family while you significant other struggles through pregnancy.
In a perfect world women wouldn't need careers, pretty much all he means. But now you need one and it sucks. I don't think he believes you should starve so you can be with your kids.
Women are perfectly capable of doing the same jobs that men do, I think people are taking this as women aren't as capable as men. It's simply a natural thing. Women are not second class citizens by any means, it simply just makes natural sense for them to caregivers. It's really not all that controversial.
Republicans made this an impossible reality though, now you need two wages unless you happen to be married to a senior executive or a CEO! If you make over ten million a year and you have employees that you employ or are in charge of who make substantially less, please go fuck yourself. You are selfish and should never even claim to be a Christian. If you somehow generated this wealth without exploiting others (so pretty much professional athletes and lottery winners) congrats.
I'm not even that Christian or a hardcore Republican, its just common sense. This was a ramble, please feel free to call me out.
TLDR: Women are just as capable as men. It makes natural sense for women to be caregivers (9 months vs 5 minutes). This reality is not possible in the modern world because you need two incomes but we should strive to make it a reality once again.
2024.05.16 09:02 trt-io used 2018 nissan versa vs. new toyota camry
Hi everybody, i’m not really a car person so apologies in advance for anything stupid i might say and for the super long backstory!
My situation: - I’m looking to get a car mainly for regular commutes (I anticipate a commute of probably 25-40 miles a day) and don’t need or want anything fancy. - I mostly care about fuel efficiency and not having to worry about a car payment, but I want a car reliable enough for the foreseeable future and that will last me at least 5-10 years. - I will probably start working later this year in the Fall, but don’t expect to have much disposable income for the next few years because I have a lot of student loans to pay back first.
My friend is selling their car (2018 Nissan Versa SV) and asking for $5000. - 81k miles - my friend bought it used from a dealership in 2020 at 45k miles - transmission was replaced in 2021 (at 53k miles) under warranty - 2 large, cookie-sized areas of paint peeling on front bumper - my friend has all the maintenance records since 2020 and took REALLY good care of it
After bringing this up to my parents, they felt fine purchasing the car and paying the $5,000 for me but wanted to make sure it was a good idea, considering Nissan’s reputation.
I understand that Nissan cars are known for having unreliable transmissions, however after researching, I was under the impression that as long as you take really good care of it and replace the transmission fluid every 30k miles, it should last. Is this true, or is it too much to hope for?
Because my parents are hesitant, they are now suggesting that I wait until I start working to purchase a new car, and that they’ll contribute $5,000 in the form of a down payment on the new car instead. Either way, they’ll help me with $5,000, so it’s up to me which way I want to go. If I were to go ahead with this option, I’d probably end up getting the 2025 Toyota Camry Hybrid.
At the end of the day, I want to pick the more financially responsible option for my specific situation and be able to pay off my hefty student loan as quickly as I can while also being able to LIVE. My partner and I seem to be in agreement that just buying my friend’s used car is the better long-term investment at this stage in my life. But what would you do?
submitted by trt-io to whatcarshouldIbuy [link] [comments]
My situation: - I’m looking to get a car mainly for regular commutes (I anticipate a commute of probably 25-40 miles a day) and don’t need or want anything fancy. - I mostly care about fuel efficiency and not having to worry about a car payment, but I want a car reliable enough for the foreseeable future and that will last me at least 5-10 years. - I will probably start working later this year in the Fall, but don’t expect to have much disposable income for the next few years because I have a lot of student loans to pay back first.
My friend is selling their car (2018 Nissan Versa SV) and asking for $5000. - 81k miles - my friend bought it used from a dealership in 2020 at 45k miles - transmission was replaced in 2021 (at 53k miles) under warranty - 2 large, cookie-sized areas of paint peeling on front bumper - my friend has all the maintenance records since 2020 and took REALLY good care of it
After bringing this up to my parents, they felt fine purchasing the car and paying the $5,000 for me but wanted to make sure it was a good idea, considering Nissan’s reputation.
I understand that Nissan cars are known for having unreliable transmissions, however after researching, I was under the impression that as long as you take really good care of it and replace the transmission fluid every 30k miles, it should last. Is this true, or is it too much to hope for?
Because my parents are hesitant, they are now suggesting that I wait until I start working to purchase a new car, and that they’ll contribute $5,000 in the form of a down payment on the new car instead. Either way, they’ll help me with $5,000, so it’s up to me which way I want to go. If I were to go ahead with this option, I’d probably end up getting the 2025 Toyota Camry Hybrid.
At the end of the day, I want to pick the more financially responsible option for my specific situation and be able to pay off my hefty student loan as quickly as I can while also being able to LIVE. My partner and I seem to be in agreement that just buying my friend’s used car is the better long-term investment at this stage in my life. But what would you do?
2024.05.16 09:01 Appropriate_Pain8677 GF speeding fine while driving my car
A couple of weeks ago my GF(35F) surprised me (37F) with a day trip. The trip was an anniversary gift from her to me. It was a 2hr drive each way to an animal sanctuary to have an experience with my favourite animal. I absolutely loved it and it will be something I will cherish forever.
We drove my car as it is much newer and more comfortable than hers. I drove there in the morning and she drove it back in the afternoon, while I napped in the car)
Problem is that on the way back she got a speeding fine driving 9kms over the speed limit (in a road work zone). The fine is around $300 AuD (we are in Australia) and 1 demerit point in my driver’s licence.
I make almost double of what she makes and have much more disposable income than her. I know she really went all out with that gift to make me happy.
For further context we have zero shared expenses. We often pay our own shares in trips and experiences, and we take turns paying for our dates which are planned to meet our own expending abilities.
AITA for asking her to pay the fine and assume the demerit points; or is this what is expected?
submitted by Appropriate_Pain8677 to AITAH [link] [comments]
We drove my car as it is much newer and more comfortable than hers. I drove there in the morning and she drove it back in the afternoon, while I napped in the car)
Problem is that on the way back she got a speeding fine driving 9kms over the speed limit (in a road work zone). The fine is around $300 AuD (we are in Australia) and 1 demerit point in my driver’s licence.
I make almost double of what she makes and have much more disposable income than her. I know she really went all out with that gift to make me happy.
For further context we have zero shared expenses. We often pay our own shares in trips and experiences, and we take turns paying for our dates which are planned to meet our own expending abilities.
AITA for asking her to pay the fine and assume the demerit points; or is this what is expected?
2024.05.16 09:00 United-Aide205 Dog bite
So back in September I was attacked by german shepherd while walking my 6th grader home from the bus stop. While walking on the sidewalk in front of a home the dog came charging out of the house right at my daughter who was walking on the inside. I moved her out of the way and put my arm up and dog bit my arm. I ended up with a gash about 3 inches long and .5 inch wide plus a puncture wound. I required 7 stitches. Animal control was called and did a report and took the dog for 10 then gave it back to her. So the next I spoke with owner and told her no hard feelings things happen but when I get my ER we can discuss payment arrangement. Well the bill came on a tuesday so I went over to the house to give her the bill and said i dont need money immediately but can you let me know by Friday what the plan is so i can let the hospital know.
Well Friday came and no response. So I called one those big injury law firms. They took the case and she refused to give her homeowners insurance info after they tried twice. She did respond telling them, the dog may have scratched me and did not bite me. And that I was demanding she gave me 2k on the spot and refused the 1k she was offering. Well the law firmed dropped my case then recommend me to another firm who initially said yes they will take it but the next day said nevermind.
What can I do? Am I SOL. I did nothing to this woman and I have been extremely nice, what can I do to get her to pay my medical bill. I now have a huge scar on my forearm and have an even larger fear of dogs. I cany avoid walking by her house as she on the only street into the neighborhood. Some please help me.
This happened in Florida but I am moving to Massachusetts at the end of this month
submitted by United-Aide205 to legaladvice [link] [comments]
Well Friday came and no response. So I called one those big injury law firms. They took the case and she refused to give her homeowners insurance info after they tried twice. She did respond telling them, the dog may have scratched me and did not bite me. And that I was demanding she gave me 2k on the spot and refused the 1k she was offering. Well the law firmed dropped my case then recommend me to another firm who initially said yes they will take it but the next day said nevermind.
What can I do? Am I SOL. I did nothing to this woman and I have been extremely nice, what can I do to get her to pay my medical bill. I now have a huge scar on my forearm and have an even larger fear of dogs. I cany avoid walking by her house as she on the only street into the neighborhood. Some please help me.
This happened in Florida but I am moving to Massachusetts at the end of this month
2024.05.16 08:58 artofPreparation "Therefore, the one receiving such blood shall be receiving not just a simple bodily fluid, but shall be receiving the patterns of the very being of the entity who served as donor, and shall, therefore, be creating a tie between the two entities" : Latwii
C Yes. In our healing practices, especially in the area known as surgery, there is a—they use, they replenish a person’s blood with that of others, and over the years I’ve been giving blood for such purposes, but of late I’ve seen material from various groups which refuse, even at the point of ceasing existence, to accept blood from another due to a passage from somewhere in the Bible instructing then not to partake of blood. Is there any harmful effect to the acceptance of blood from another? I see it as merely a giving of life from one to another. I can’t see any harm in the practice.
I am Latwii, and am aware of your question, my brother. In response, may we say this is not a simple matter, for indeed one who is approaching the limits of what you know as life and does, therefore, require what is called the transfusion of blood, such a practice might be deemed quite helpful, for indeed it is one means of prolonging the incarnation and might be the only means for many upon your planet, for their knowledge does not yet include other means.
In such cases it cannot be said to be other than helpful if each party does wish to aid in the prolonging of life which grows short. On the other hand, there are situations which mitigate against the transferring of that known as blood from one entity to another if the entities are not involved in what you call the …
[Side one of tape ends.]
(Jim channeling)
I am Latwii, and am once again with this instrument. As we were saying, there are instances which are not favorable to such a transfer of this vital fluid from one entity to another, for there are various, shall we say, patterns or parts of an entity’s pattern of being of the bodily complex which are transferred in this process that may be detrimental to another.
I am Latwii. My brother, we feel that you have correctly stated the situation. The amount is significant in that it serves as what you might call a ratio, a blending the beingness of the sources of blood, both of the donor and the one receiving the donation.
C Yes. In our bodily systems, cells are constantly being used up and replaced. After a period of time would that amount of beingness be slowly removed from the blood of the one receiving?
I am Latwii, and am aware of your question, my brother. We may say in this case, in general, that this is not correct, for the reproduction of the blood fluid is by the existing ratio of blood, and this existing ratio does then reproduce itself much as what you have called the cloning mechanism does reproduce an exact duplicate of itself. The dilution, shall we say, of the donor’s karmic patterns may occur in another manner, this being the balancing of the patterns of behavior of the one which has received the donation, and also of the one which has served as donor.
Carla Before we leave this sanguine subject, I’d like to check a couple of hunches. Is it true that the link between patterns of the entities works precisely both ways?
I am Latwii. Yes, my sister, we do recognize this to be true in our understanding of such matters.
May we answer you further?
Carla Yes. Hunch number two. Is this link the time/space portion of this very central fluid which is called blood, that is magical in nature, and is this why some of the more primitive of our tribes peoples have used blood to become blood brothers and things like this, why even as children we do things like that? Does this have a magical potential in the time/space portion of its reality?
I am Latwii, and again we find agreement with your statement, that the portion known as the time/space portion or metaphysical portion of the entity is that which is affected in what you have described as a magical nature.
C Yes, while we’re on the subject. If the pattern of beingness in each self … what of the situation as in our, in the drinking, in the partaking of blood orally as opposed to taking it into the veins directly, if ingesting the cells of another being, whether flesh or blood, do you still pick up the beingness?
I am Latwii, and am aware of your question, my brother. Again, we find that the general response can be somewhat misleading, for such an action as you have described would have far different results with different types of entities. Those most likely to accomplish such an action would be those who have begun the practice of what you might call the black magical arts and such an adept then would gain power, the power of the one whose vital fluid it consumed. An entity who had no training in these arts and rituals would simply gain those karmic ties in the time/space or metaphysical portion of your existence.
C I was just curious because in our legends of creatures such as vampires, they’re always able to remove the being and leave just a shell, more or less, though animated, no longer expressing that which it was, and I was just curious as to the source of that idea, whether there was some truth behind it.
submitted by artofPreparation to lawofone [link] [comments]
I am Latwii, and am aware of your question, my brother. In response, may we say this is not a simple matter, for indeed one who is approaching the limits of what you know as life and does, therefore, require what is called the transfusion of blood, such a practice might be deemed quite helpful, for indeed it is one means of prolonging the incarnation and might be the only means for many upon your planet, for their knowledge does not yet include other means.
In such cases it cannot be said to be other than helpful if each party does wish to aid in the prolonging of life which grows short. On the other hand, there are situations which mitigate against the transferring of that known as blood from one entity to another if the entities are not involved in what you call the …
[Side one of tape ends.]
(Jim channeling)
I am Latwii, and am once again with this instrument. As we were saying, there are instances which are not favorable to such a transfer of this vital fluid from one entity to another, for there are various, shall we say, patterns or parts of an entity’s pattern of being of the bodily complex which are transferred in this process that may be detrimental to another.
We speak of areas now which are little known to your peoples, and are, therefore, most likely to be somewhat confusing, but we shall continue. Each entity does through the power of mind before incarnation create the pattern of the physical vehicle which it shall inhabit. This vehicle, in each cell of its substance, does contain the complete blueprint of the entity, much as a hologram. This is true also of the fluid known as blood. The state of being of health, shall we say, to use somewhat of a misnomer, is clearly reflected in the blood and each cell of that fluid. The transfer of such vital fluid to one entity from another does then transfer the patterns of being or of health from one entity to another, these patterns having a great complexity of interrelationship from the experience of the entity who has provided the blood for transfusion.C In the case where one receives, say, a pint of blood, which is the usual unit, is the amount of the being of the donor that is received by the individual a sufficient enough amount to actually interfere with the being of the person receiving?
Therefore, the one receiving such blood shall be receiving not just a simple bodily fluid, but shall be receiving the patterns of the very being of the entity who served as donor, and shall, therefore, be creating a tie between the two entities in which some of which you know of as karma, shall be shared. This appears quite insignificant when the entity is facing what you call the life and death situation, but does grow in significance as the entity does continue its incarnation and as the entity which served as donor does also continue its incarnation. It is then left to what might be called higher levels of the being of both entities to complete the balancing of the karmic patterns which have been set in motion by this transfer.
I am Latwii. My brother, we feel that you have correctly stated the situation. The amount is significant in that it serves as what you might call a ratio, a blending the beingness of the sources of blood, both of the donor and the one receiving the donation.
C Yes. In our bodily systems, cells are constantly being used up and replaced. After a period of time would that amount of beingness be slowly removed from the blood of the one receiving?
I am Latwii, and am aware of your question, my brother. We may say in this case, in general, that this is not correct, for the reproduction of the blood fluid is by the existing ratio of blood, and this existing ratio does then reproduce itself much as what you have called the cloning mechanism does reproduce an exact duplicate of itself. The dilution, shall we say, of the donor’s karmic patterns may occur in another manner, this being the balancing of the patterns of behavior of the one which has received the donation, and also of the one which has served as donor.
Carla Before we leave this sanguine subject, I’d like to check a couple of hunches. Is it true that the link between patterns of the entities works precisely both ways?
I am Latwii. Yes, my sister, we do recognize this to be true in our understanding of such matters.
May we answer you further?
Carla Yes. Hunch number two. Is this link the time/space portion of this very central fluid which is called blood, that is magical in nature, and is this why some of the more primitive of our tribes peoples have used blood to become blood brothers and things like this, why even as children we do things like that? Does this have a magical potential in the time/space portion of its reality?
I am Latwii, and again we find agreement with your statement, that the portion known as the time/space portion or metaphysical portion of the entity is that which is affected in what you have described as a magical nature.
C Yes, while we’re on the subject. If the pattern of beingness in each self … what of the situation as in our, in the drinking, in the partaking of blood orally as opposed to taking it into the veins directly, if ingesting the cells of another being, whether flesh or blood, do you still pick up the beingness?
I am Latwii, and am aware of your question, my brother. Again, we find that the general response can be somewhat misleading, for such an action as you have described would have far different results with different types of entities. Those most likely to accomplish such an action would be those who have begun the practice of what you might call the black magical arts and such an adept then would gain power, the power of the one whose vital fluid it consumed. An entity who had no training in these arts and rituals would simply gain those karmic ties in the time/space or metaphysical portion of your existence.
C I was just curious because in our legends of creatures such as vampires, they’re always able to remove the being and leave just a shell, more or less, though animated, no longer expressing that which it was, and I was just curious as to the source of that idea, whether there was some truth behind it.
I am Latwii, and am aware of a general query. We may respond by saying that your legends in this regard have distorted greatly the foundation of facts in such situations, but have reflected some of that which is more nearly true. The magical nature of the fluid you call blood has been reflected in such stories and legends, for indeed the entity whose blood has been removed in some degree is only a shell of the former self, the greater portion having passed to the entity consuming the blood, the greater portion of power also passing with that consuming.Unedited source : https://assets.llresearch.org/transcripts/files/en/1982_0321.pdf
2024.05.16 08:57 Yurii_S_Kh St. Theodosius of the Kiev Caves
 | https://preview.redd.it/sq9ob43vkq0d1.png?width=450&format=png&auto=webp&s=00f9b50b4221afd75c3ba40d6bc078bded8781e1 submitted by Yurii_S_Kh to SophiaWisdomOfGod [link] [comments] Theodosius, whose name means "gift of God," grew up in the small cities of Vasilkov and Kursk where his father was a judge. Although his parents were Christian and gave him an education directed primarily at the study of Scripture, they were astonished to see his heart so completely overtaken by love for God. His father died when Theodosius was 13, and this caused the boy to retreat still further from the world common to one of his age and social rank. He gave away his good clothes, preferring to dress like the poor, and found pleasure in helping the peasants with their work. He often went to church, and when he learned that Divine Liturgy was sometimes not celebrated due to a lack of prosphora, he undertook to bake them himself. His mother loved him dearly, but she did not share her son's life-encompassing Christian outlook; she was very conscious of her social standing and felt that by engaging in such lowly occupations Theodosius brought shame upon the family. She tried cajoling, then threatening and even physically beating him to make him change his ways, but Theodosius stood firmly on the path of the Gospel commandments. His zeal for the things of God inspired Theodosius to slip away with a band of pilgrims bound for the Holy Land. Three days later his mother tracked him down, berated the pilgrims for having taken the boy along, and dragged Theodosius home where she kept him in chains until the youth promised not to leave her again. The humility of the youth and the sufferings he endured at the hands of his mother came to the attention of the governor who requested that the youth attend him in church. This served to calm the domestic drama, but Theodosius' heart yearned for a more concentrated spiritual atmosphere, for monastic life. Standing in church one day, he was struck by the words of the Gospel: "He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me." With fixed resolve, he took advantage of his mother's departure into the country for a few days to set out for Kiev, taking with him nothing but some bread for the road. The monks in the established monasteries, however, turned him away because he had no money. Then he heard about the righteous Anthony. Coming to his cave, Theodosius fell to his knees and begged the holy ascetic to accept him. "My son," said Anthony, "you see my cave; it is cramped and dismal, and I fear you will not endure the difficulties of life here." "Know, O blessed father," replied Theodosius. "that God Himself has led me to your holiness that I might find salvation. I shall do all that you enjoin." Foreseeing his future greatness, the blessed Anthony accepted the determined aspirant and bade the priest monk Nikon tonsure him. Theodosius was 23 years old. It was a few years before his distraught mother finally discovered her son’s whereabouts. With great reluctance Theodosius went out to her. At first she vowed that she would die if he did not come home with her. But gradually God softened her heart and she came to see the wisdom of her son's patient admonitions. Following his advice she entered the St. Nicholas convent there in Kiev where she ended her days in peace. https://preview.redd.it/h10jlboxkq0d1.png?width=225&format=png&auto=webp&s=0b0cf8272c80cf80377438120ecc92fb8624389c When Theodosius became abbot, he saw need for a common rule to unite the growing community--which by that time was living above the ground; only a few hermits were left in the caves--and he sent one of his monks to Constantinople to copy out the rule of the Studite Monastery. The rule governed the daily life of the monk: it set the hours of prayer and work; monks were forbidden to have any personal possessions, everything was held in common; all monks were together for common meals: time, apart from prayer, was to be spent in working; all activity was begun with a blessing from an elder and with prayer. The monks were to reveal their thoughts to the abbot, a practice which roused them to constant spiritual vigilance and helped to check manifestations of the passions before they took root in the heart. Above all things, have fervent charity among yourselves (I Peter 4:8). It was St, Theodosius' choice of the Studite Rule, with its emphasis on the duty of charity and the common good, which served to revive the ancient ideal of strict cenobitism and gave Russian monasticism its characteristic warmth. "What is principally necessary," taught Theodosius, "is that the youngest should love their neighbor and listen to their elders with humility and obedience. The elders should lavish on the young love and instruction; they should teach them and comfort them." This attitude created an atmosphere eminently suitable for missionary work, and it was thanks to the monasteries that Christianity was so successfully propagated in Russia. Of a strong constitution, Theodosius was a model of industriousness. Even as abbot, he felled trees, carried water, and ground wheat, often helping the other brethren with their obediences. Once, the cook came to ask if he would assign a monk to cut firewood, as the kitchen supply was depleted. "I am idle," replied the Saint, and he set to chopping wood himself. He worked through the dinner hour and the brethren, when they came out and saw their abbot hard at work, were inspired to do likewise. Knowing the great benefit of good books upon the soul, Theodosius instituted the reading of spiritually profitable texts during meals, and sought to augment the number of such books in the monastery. Books were still a rarity at that time, and one of the valued occupations of the monastery was the copying and binding of manuscripts. Theodosius himself helped in this work. At first, life in the Caves Monastery was very austere indeed. The monks lived principally on rye bread and water with the addition of a few vegetables which they cultivated themselves; they wove their own cloth and sewed their own garments. When the brethren murmured about some deficiency, Theodosius exhorted them to place their trust in the Lord Who knew their needs. And his faith was often miraculously rewarded. The reputation of the monks as 'angels on earth' began attracting pilgrims; princes and peasants ca me for spiritual counsel and left donations. Grand Prince Izyaslav, who became very attached to St. Theodosius and frequently came to visit him, was a great benefactor of the monastery, as also was the Viking Prince Shimon who was baptized into the Orthodox Church together with his entire household, numbering some 3,000 members. With increased mean s, Theodosius was able to build a guest house for pilgrims where the poor and sick also found refuge. No beggar was ever turned away from the monastery without being given a meal. Weekly a cart was sent from the monastery laden with bread to be distributed among those in prison. The Saint's compassion was boundless. Once there were brought to him some robbers who had been apprehended in the act of stealing monastery property. With tears the Saint entreated them to mend their ways. Then, having fed them, he let them go. The robbers were so moved by the Saint's mercy that they repented and became honest, God-fearing men. Like St. Anthony, Theodosius also endured the effects of the princes' quarrels. At the same time he maintained his independence and did not fear risking the displeasure of his royal benefactors if he felt called as a spiritual father to admonish them. When, for example, Svyatoslav unjustly took the throne from Izyaslav, the Saint wrote a strong letter to Svyatoslav, reproving his action and urging him to restore power to his older brother. This angered Svyatoslav, and Theodosius was warned of possible consequences, but he calmly replied: "Nothing could be better for me in this life than to suffer for the sake of the truth." Mindful of the Saint' s popularity, Svyatoslav took no action against him and even went to visit him. He was surprised when Theodosius received him with the respect due to one of authority. "I was afraid you'd be angry with me," said the Prince. "Our duty," replied the Saint, "is to say what is beneficial for the soul's salvation; and you would do well to listen." Although Svyatoslav could not be persuaded to give up the throne and Theodosius continued to commemorate the pious Izyaslav as the lawful ruler, their relationship was peaceful and it was Svyatoslav who gave land for the building of the new stone church. Work had just begun on this church when St. Anthony reposed. Neither did St. Theodosius live to see its completion. It was his custom to retire to a cave for the course of Great Lent, and it was during this time, in 1074, that the Lord revealed to him his imminent departure from this world. On Bright Week, having joyfully celebrated the radiant feast of Pascha in the monastery, he fell ill. Summoning the brethren, he informed them that his time had come, and foretold the very day and hour of his repose. By common consent of the brotherhood, he blessed his disciple Stefan to take his place as abbot, exhorting him not to change the tradition s of the monastery, "but follow in all things the law and our monastic rifle." May 3,1074. The divinely appointed hour arrived and the bright soul of the Saint took leave of its earthly tabernacle. As he had willed, his body was laid to rest in the cave which alone with the angels had witnessed his ascetic labors. Eighteen years after the Saint's blessed repose, the monastery brethren decided to transfer his relics to the new cathedral church. The abbot, together with monk Nestor the chronicler, went to the cave to dig up the relics and discovered them to be incorrupt. Accompanied by a large crowd of people, the relics were solemnly transferred to the Dormition Cathedral on August 14, 1092. And in 1106 Saint Theodosius was added to the list of canonized saints. True to their promise, the holy founders of the Caves Monastery continued to watch over its existence even after their repose. There is, for example, the story written by Bishop Simon (+1226), a former monk of that monastery and principal author of the Kiev Caves Patericorn of how the stone church was completed. Sts. Anthony and Theodosius had been gone from this world some ten years when a group of Greek iconographers came to the Caves Lavra demanding to see the two monks who had hired them to adorn the new church with frescoes. They were rather angry inasmuch as the church standing before them was considerably larger than they had been led to believe and would consequently require more work than was covered by the sum of gold they had received there in Constantinople upon signing the agreement. Abbot Nikon, confessing his ignorance of the matter, asked who it was that had hired them. "Their names were Anthony and Theodosius," "Truly," said the abbot, "I cannot summon them, for they departed this life ten years ago. But as you yourselves testify, they continue to care for this monastery even now." https://preview.redd.it/k3vsiyu1lq0d1.png?width=172&format=png&auto=webp&s=a3408a2561adad1709eba7009c45d9ef7497f068 The Greeks, scarcely believing this possible, called some merchants traveling with them, who had been present at the signing of the agreement, and asked that they be shown an image of the deceased. When this was done the Greeks bowed low, for they recognized in the saints the exact likeness of the two men who had commissioned them to paint the frescoes and given them the gold. Acknowledging the supernatural power of the saints, they decided not to cancel the agreement after all, and set about with heightened inspiration to embellish the church. The iconographers never returned to Constantinople; they became monks and ended their days there in the Caves Monastery. The Dormition Church, rebuilt in 1470, was destroyed in 1941 by an explosion which the Soviets attribute to the Germans. Witnesses, however, state that it was the communists themselves who set delayed action explosives just before the German occupation of the city. Orthodox America |
2024.05.16 08:57 Different_Maybe_2348 Rent-A-Center Harrassmemt …?
Rent-A-Center Dilemma
I signed up for a rental agreement with Rent A Center back in November 2023. They were very unorganized but moving forward, I had my delivery set up. One of the managers Stephon and a driver delivered my washer and dryer set. The manager was friendly and I was just ready for his ass to get out of my house. So moving forward, I receive a text and it’s from an out of state number saying that it was him. The damn manager! 1.) I did not give you my number at anytime inside my home so why would you feel comfortable texting me!!? This manager had gotten my number off of my paperwork. I was so confused and pissed THE F**K off that I said my dryer is missing a component just to try and not overthink that he was overstepping boundaries. He stated that he would check in the back of their warehouse to see if they had the piece I needed and he would come put it on. Well they didn’t have the piece. So I ordered it and told him I think I can manage putting it on myself. Y’all !!! Why did this man come over on his launch break that he gets like 45 mins to an hour break. He took every bit of 5 minutes to put the part on but would not LEAVE ! He was asking about my cooking. Asking me was I single. Told me what type of man I deserve. Told me he scanned the parking lot and knew which car was mine. He was very weird. He basically stayed his entire break. I was so weirded out and tried not to overreact because of the business contract. Not knowing what to do. I also was home alone with my 22 month old son at the time. He was sleeping upstairs. So I ended up telling my boyfriend and he’s like why did this manager try and pull this mess while not there. Here’s the kicker you guys: I have a ring doorbell camera and it has record of all of this and the time stamps and days. Fast forward to January 2024, the manager texted me happy new years !! Like what? Why would you do that and I haven’t shown any interest in you!!? So moving forward I got behind like a few days on my weekly payment actually because I forgot and called to try and work a payment date out with them. Tell me why he went off on me, told me he was not going to help me and that they were coming to get my stuff and that the manager I needed to speak with was not in and ended up hanging up the phone in my face. I tried calling back and no answer. So I called the headquarters and told them what happened. They acted like they were going to do something and I told them about his personal number and area code which I shouldn’t have known and also where he told me he was from which why would I know. I also mentioned other things. Do you they didn’t offer anything for the hassle and weirdness. Nothing at all. So my job closed down and they started calling me from a new number. I had old them I would come in to pay cash. So I get up there and the credit manager had already given me the amount I needed to pay and was like yea I’ll work with you cause you always pay on time. I get up there like 10 mins later. Tell me why I pay for both weeks and they do not give me my change back and say we credited it. I’m like I didn’t ask you all to do that. Then it’s 3 men in the store (including the manager I had originally had an issue with texting me) all employees only and they are discussing my biz and the one who had given me the phone call with the amount I owed was right there as well. And I’m like why would you all not return my change. That’s not how it works. Ya’ll didn’t state that beforehand. So I walked out and the manager that I had to deal with months before who still has his job was like what’s wrong as I’m walking out. I was just disgusted. It was doggish and I’m just going to sue them at this point because you’re not going to take my money and then think it’s cool to harass me and I’m a paying customer. I was wanting to hear some feedback to see if I’m tripping or what… I’m also wanting to see if maybe I had a possible case. Because I believe so wholeheartedly !
submitted by Different_Maybe_2348 to SexualHarassment [link] [comments]
I signed up for a rental agreement with Rent A Center back in November 2023. They were very unorganized but moving forward, I had my delivery set up. One of the managers Stephon and a driver delivered my washer and dryer set. The manager was friendly and I was just ready for his ass to get out of my house. So moving forward, I receive a text and it’s from an out of state number saying that it was him. The damn manager! 1.) I did not give you my number at anytime inside my home so why would you feel comfortable texting me!!? This manager had gotten my number off of my paperwork. I was so confused and pissed THE F**K off that I said my dryer is missing a component just to try and not overthink that he was overstepping boundaries. He stated that he would check in the back of their warehouse to see if they had the piece I needed and he would come put it on. Well they didn’t have the piece. So I ordered it and told him I think I can manage putting it on myself. Y’all !!! Why did this man come over on his launch break that he gets like 45 mins to an hour break. He took every bit of 5 minutes to put the part on but would not LEAVE ! He was asking about my cooking. Asking me was I single. Told me what type of man I deserve. Told me he scanned the parking lot and knew which car was mine. He was very weird. He basically stayed his entire break. I was so weirded out and tried not to overreact because of the business contract. Not knowing what to do. I also was home alone with my 22 month old son at the time. He was sleeping upstairs. So I ended up telling my boyfriend and he’s like why did this manager try and pull this mess while not there. Here’s the kicker you guys: I have a ring doorbell camera and it has record of all of this and the time stamps and days. Fast forward to January 2024, the manager texted me happy new years !! Like what? Why would you do that and I haven’t shown any interest in you!!? So moving forward I got behind like a few days on my weekly payment actually because I forgot and called to try and work a payment date out with them. Tell me why he went off on me, told me he was not going to help me and that they were coming to get my stuff and that the manager I needed to speak with was not in and ended up hanging up the phone in my face. I tried calling back and no answer. So I called the headquarters and told them what happened. They acted like they were going to do something and I told them about his personal number and area code which I shouldn’t have known and also where he told me he was from which why would I know. I also mentioned other things. Do you they didn’t offer anything for the hassle and weirdness. Nothing at all. So my job closed down and they started calling me from a new number. I had old them I would come in to pay cash. So I get up there and the credit manager had already given me the amount I needed to pay and was like yea I’ll work with you cause you always pay on time. I get up there like 10 mins later. Tell me why I pay for both weeks and they do not give me my change back and say we credited it. I’m like I didn’t ask you all to do that. Then it’s 3 men in the store (including the manager I had originally had an issue with texting me) all employees only and they are discussing my biz and the one who had given me the phone call with the amount I owed was right there as well. And I’m like why would you all not return my change. That’s not how it works. Ya’ll didn’t state that beforehand. So I walked out and the manager that I had to deal with months before who still has his job was like what’s wrong as I’m walking out. I was just disgusted. It was doggish and I’m just going to sue them at this point because you’re not going to take my money and then think it’s cool to harass me and I’m a paying customer. I was wanting to hear some feedback to see if I’m tripping or what… I’m also wanting to see if maybe I had a possible case. Because I believe so wholeheartedly !
2024.05.16 08:52 thrownaway1887lo Doing the right thing
A few years ago, I lost friends and family during the pandemic back in 2020. A good friend of mine during high school took his life and left me speechless. I wish I could've saved him. Till this day it haunts me that the one thing he wanted for Christmas was, "happiness". It caused me to lose motivation for college and I failed almost the majority of my classes because of the incident. I wanted to get a full time job instead, but I couldn't since jobs weren't hiring applicants.
Come the beginning of spring semester of 2021, I was doing amazing until I fell back into the void of depression. During this time, I got a weekend job that didn't pay much. Only $200 for both days. I got my driving permit. I once again was failing classes and got dropped. Even during fall semester.
One day, I was about to run late for work. I forgot to ask my parents if they can drive with me over to my job, they were asleep during this time. My mind is fixiated when I have to be somewhere. When I have a destination to be, I have to get there. I knew driving without a license or insurance was wrong, but my mind threw all of that out of the window to not be late. On the way to work, I can't recall too much since it has only been two years. Either a car cut me off, break checked me, or something. I lost control of the vehicle while I attempted to break and I hit a pole on the highway, which totaled the truck. Luckily, I survived. Thank God, I wasnt killed or injured. God or maybe my relatives stopped it from being severe. A cop pulled up, he must've been sent from heaven or sorts. He didn't arrest me, ticket me, or cite me on the scene for driving with just a permit. He took me to starbucks and proceeded to have a conversation with me. I can't thank him enough because that day was the one year anniversary of my best friends passing. That day I learned, life is very short and anything can happen in such a short or long amount of time. Cherish the loved ones you have while they're still here. I got my driver's license a few days later and got a policy under my parents insurance company.
After getting both things, I got myself a job in retail that I enjoy and made a lot of great friends along the way. Years later a letter by my parents insurance company was sent to cooperate with their investigation on the claim. I'm building up my confidence and ready to take any punishment that comes with it. I'll do payments, if I can. During those two years, I cherished life, enjoyed time with everyone who has come near me, and got to witness a lot of things happen.
Ps please hug your loved ones close, get your license and get insurance. I don't want any of you making the same mistakes
submitted by thrownaway1887lo to offmychest [link] [comments]
Come the beginning of spring semester of 2021, I was doing amazing until I fell back into the void of depression. During this time, I got a weekend job that didn't pay much. Only $200 for both days. I got my driving permit. I once again was failing classes and got dropped. Even during fall semester.
One day, I was about to run late for work. I forgot to ask my parents if they can drive with me over to my job, they were asleep during this time. My mind is fixiated when I have to be somewhere. When I have a destination to be, I have to get there. I knew driving without a license or insurance was wrong, but my mind threw all of that out of the window to not be late. On the way to work, I can't recall too much since it has only been two years. Either a car cut me off, break checked me, or something. I lost control of the vehicle while I attempted to break and I hit a pole on the highway, which totaled the truck. Luckily, I survived. Thank God, I wasnt killed or injured. God or maybe my relatives stopped it from being severe. A cop pulled up, he must've been sent from heaven or sorts. He didn't arrest me, ticket me, or cite me on the scene for driving with just a permit. He took me to starbucks and proceeded to have a conversation with me. I can't thank him enough because that day was the one year anniversary of my best friends passing. That day I learned, life is very short and anything can happen in such a short or long amount of time. Cherish the loved ones you have while they're still here. I got my driver's license a few days later and got a policy under my parents insurance company.
After getting both things, I got myself a job in retail that I enjoy and made a lot of great friends along the way. Years later a letter by my parents insurance company was sent to cooperate with their investigation on the claim. I'm building up my confidence and ready to take any punishment that comes with it. I'll do payments, if I can. During those two years, I cherished life, enjoyed time with everyone who has come near me, and got to witness a lot of things happen.
Ps please hug your loved ones close, get your license and get insurance. I don't want any of you making the same mistakes
2024.05.16 08:48 ThrowRA_202375 Sons father has been court ordered to pay arrears, my now adult son thinks the money is his
My sons father has been court ordered to pay back arrears. Large amount. But now my son is bitter and thinks that that money should be his.
I was a single mother raising him. No family around. And I gave this boy the world. His father was paying some support but not what he should have been paying. Regardless he was not involved in taking care of my son and raising him.
His father puts me out to be the villain and I’m not sure what’s been said to my son who is now 19.
He had decided to live on his in and I have offered to pay for half of his rent for a year until he gets a feel for what it is like to pay bills. I’m only able to support this because of the arrears. He seems to think that the rest of the money should be spent on him.
I’m not sure what I can say to make him understand that this is money owed to me for raising him. I love my boy and the payments I am getting now are being set aside in case something happens. I’m not just going to hand over a big fat cheque to him. He wants to buy a new car and is bitter as hell at me for it. He already has a car a new shinny one isn’t necessary. I don’t know what to do or say to him anymore he has no idea how hard to was to raise him alone
submitted by ThrowRA_202375 to ChildSupport [link] [comments]
I was a single mother raising him. No family around. And I gave this boy the world. His father was paying some support but not what he should have been paying. Regardless he was not involved in taking care of my son and raising him.
His father puts me out to be the villain and I’m not sure what’s been said to my son who is now 19.
He had decided to live on his in and I have offered to pay for half of his rent for a year until he gets a feel for what it is like to pay bills. I’m only able to support this because of the arrears. He seems to think that the rest of the money should be spent on him.
I’m not sure what I can say to make him understand that this is money owed to me for raising him. I love my boy and the payments I am getting now are being set aside in case something happens. I’m not just going to hand over a big fat cheque to him. He wants to buy a new car and is bitter as hell at me for it. He already has a car a new shinny one isn’t necessary. I don’t know what to do or say to him anymore he has no idea how hard to was to raise him alone
2024.05.16 08:42 Weekly-Medium9488 AITAH for Kicking Out My Roommate After She Got a Pet Without My Consent?
Hey Reddit,
I'm in a bit of a sticky situation and could use some advice on whether I'm the AH here.
I (28M) share a two-bedroom apartment with my roommate, Sarah (26F). We've been living together for about a year and, for the most part, things have been great. We have a written agreement that covers rent, utilities, chores, and other responsibilities, including a clear no-pets policy. This is mainly because I have a mild allergy to pet dander and don't particularly want the extra responsibility or potential damage to the apartment.
A couple of weeks ago, I came home to find Sarah with a small dog. She told me she found it abandoned near her workplace and couldn't bear to leave it. She said she intended to keep it temporarily until she found it a new home or a shelter that would take it. While I was sympathetic to the dog's plight, I reminded her of our no-pets agreement and my allergy. She assured me it would only be for a few days.
Days turned into over two weeks, and the dog was still with us. My allergy symptoms were flaring up—constant sneezing, itchy eyes, and mild breathing issues. I also noticed the dog had scratched up some furniture and chewed on a couple of my belongings. I brought up my concerns to Sarah multiple times, but she kept saying she just needed a little more time to find a solution.
Last week, after yet another sleepless night due to my allergies, I told Sarah that she needed to find a place for the dog immediately or I would have to take more drastic measures. She got very defensive, saying I was being heartless and that she couldn't just throw the dog out on the street. I felt like I had no other choice, so I gave her a one-week ultimatum: either the dog goes, or she finds a new place to live.
Sarah was furious and called me an inconsiderate jerk. She argued that I was overreacting and that I should be more understanding of the situation. However, my health and the damage to my property were becoming too much for me to handle. After the week passed with no change, I told Sarah she needed to move out. She packed her things and left in a huff, taking the dog with her.
Now, Sarah has been telling our mutual friends that I'm a terrible person for forcing her out and not caring about the dog's welfare. Some of our friends think I should have been more patient and helped her find a solution, while others agree that she crossed a line by violating our agreement and disregarding my health concerns.
So, Reddit, AITAH for kicking out my roommate after she got a pet without my consent?
Thanks for your thoughts.
submitted by Weekly-Medium9488 to AITAH [link] [comments]
I'm in a bit of a sticky situation and could use some advice on whether I'm the AH here.
I (28M) share a two-bedroom apartment with my roommate, Sarah (26F). We've been living together for about a year and, for the most part, things have been great. We have a written agreement that covers rent, utilities, chores, and other responsibilities, including a clear no-pets policy. This is mainly because I have a mild allergy to pet dander and don't particularly want the extra responsibility or potential damage to the apartment.
A couple of weeks ago, I came home to find Sarah with a small dog. She told me she found it abandoned near her workplace and couldn't bear to leave it. She said she intended to keep it temporarily until she found it a new home or a shelter that would take it. While I was sympathetic to the dog's plight, I reminded her of our no-pets agreement and my allergy. She assured me it would only be for a few days.
Days turned into over two weeks, and the dog was still with us. My allergy symptoms were flaring up—constant sneezing, itchy eyes, and mild breathing issues. I also noticed the dog had scratched up some furniture and chewed on a couple of my belongings. I brought up my concerns to Sarah multiple times, but she kept saying she just needed a little more time to find a solution.
Last week, after yet another sleepless night due to my allergies, I told Sarah that she needed to find a place for the dog immediately or I would have to take more drastic measures. She got very defensive, saying I was being heartless and that she couldn't just throw the dog out on the street. I felt like I had no other choice, so I gave her a one-week ultimatum: either the dog goes, or she finds a new place to live.
Sarah was furious and called me an inconsiderate jerk. She argued that I was overreacting and that I should be more understanding of the situation. However, my health and the damage to my property were becoming too much for me to handle. After the week passed with no change, I told Sarah she needed to move out. She packed her things and left in a huff, taking the dog with her.
Now, Sarah has been telling our mutual friends that I'm a terrible person for forcing her out and not caring about the dog's welfare. Some of our friends think I should have been more patient and helped her find a solution, while others agree that she crossed a line by violating our agreement and disregarding my health concerns.
So, Reddit, AITAH for kicking out my roommate after she got a pet without my consent?
Thanks for your thoughts.
2024.05.16 08:41 BAE_CAUGHT_ME_POOPIN I dunno about omens, but
I have now seen three (3) natural super events in a one (1) month time frame.
O
In early April we had traveled to see the solar eclipse. My LTR’s friend had a crummy cabin right in the path of totality and had invited lots of people to come watch. These were acquaintances and chums from a touring / traveling / festie past life, the kind of wild spirit I’d see once or twice a year at some interesting event and ask what they’ve been up to. My lover would already know; they are a creature of social media and a master of effortlessly effusive connections. I can’t even pinpoint when I forfeited all of those attendees as now being more their friend than mine.
Totality is still ineffable despite all the accounts. You see it coming as the clouds part directly below its pathway, leaving a trail of its approach from the horizon. Animals freak out, shadows bend, the collective hype of your company irresistible. The sky darkens slightly one minute before you’re snapped into a parallel dimension ruled by a glowing ring god. For four minutes the neurons in your brain that fear the sky are screaming and you experience the answer to the question: “what if reality was different?”
Having experienced that rumination made me actually reconnect with all the attendees afterwards. How lazy I was, how fearful and jaded, to assume that friendships, human connections, didn’t deserve effort? That you should never forfeit companionship without at least trying first? How beaten down and cynical had I become that Luna herself had to remind me that love should be joyous and celebrated? Now was a chance to correct that mistake.
I ended up becoming the life of the rest of the party, an unusual position for me. Perhaps my mind was sufficiently shaken up and I saw the opportunities I had long ignored. Perhaps my gregarious partner didn’t dominate the scene because of the blotter which I had passed on. Maybe some combination of those factors led to them being uncharacteristically quiet for the rest of our stay. By contrast, the silent drive home was typical for us these days.
V
They were not in the car for the second super event. That was just me and my coworker, called off of our out-of-town jobsite. An unusual emergency meant that we had to drop everything and leave NOW. If our supervisor hadn’t called then we would have felt it in the air, a sense of impending danger spoken in wind and atmosphere.
My phone alert went off on the highway. Take shelter now, an impossible plea at 70 mph through farmlands. My coworker, a plain spoken plains man, silently barreled forward towards the green-blue cell. The throbbing bassline of Nugent’s “Stranglehold” accompanied the descending fingers of clouds that threatened just that. Cars and semis were pulled over under overpasses, a pointless shield against anything other than the hail but I still understand their impulse. We reached our exit and could see the storm that we passed under from the driver’s side window.
“There it is” he said so flatly. His enthusiasm was appropriate: there, behind the modest and familiar skyline, was the weather event every midwestern is taught to fear. But it struck no fear in me. It too looked modest and familiar.
The funnel was literally just an extension of the slate clouds above, a tendril, a shape, not registering with me as a threat at all. Even while driving through it my thoughts weren’t of danger but of melancholy resignation. Perhaps because it was a forty minute drive and my position was completely determined by outside demands: be at work at this time, go to this jobsite, leave right now, this is the only path you can take home. I felt no control over any of it, not the schedule, not the weather, not the lame ass boomer soundtrack that could’ve been the last thing I heard had a butterfly flapped it’s wings different.
The tornado incurred significant damage just a few miles from our house. My partner was equally non-plussed by the whole situation. If they had felt fear in the basement then they had forgotten it entirely, the event reduced to a “man that was crazy” story to recount later within a handful of sentences. Perhaps they too recognize that some awful events are just bound to happen, the certainty of which strips the stress away.
//
The final phenom was actually a subdued encore. The aurora borealis had made a surprise visit to the Lower 48, but we missed the first night. Even though my lover had received texts from their many friends telling them about the heavenly light show, we were already in bed and in no place mentally to go see it. The NOAA predicted it would be visible the next night, so we planned for that instead.
The drive was the last effort of the day, a final rally after work and social obligations and stressful interactions on top of endless mundane life maintenance. Our modest midwest town with it’s modest skyline isn’t too heavy on the light pollution, but there was a lake a half hour north where most of the local pictures were taken the night before. Making the voyage out there felt like a slog after those last few days, but the aurora was on my bucket list and I needed some cosmic intervention in my life. I was hoping it would be like the totality, a brilliant display that left me changed afterwards. Instead, it was like the tornado. It just was.
Sure, there were some pastel smears in the night sky. Hell, you could even point your phone at it and see if better on your camera app. But it appeared as if the display wasn’t as breath taking as the night before. Our friends and countless other couples lucked out and got to experience something beautiful, but we did not. And I felt nothing.
No anger, no resentment, no disappointment even. Just a kind of tired acceptance that I only got to see some of this brilliant thing I always wanted but I was so worn out from days of work and effort and driving and stressful interactions of fighting and arguing –
We drove back again in silence. Five days ago we were given homework from our therapist. We were instructed to end each night a brief description of a frustration from our day that didn’t involve our partner. The idea is to distill the unpleasantness to a few sentences and a few words so that we can express how we feel about negative experiences as simply as possible to each other. Perhaps that exercise will help us understand each other better and highlight themes that consistently upset us.
That only works if you do it every night. This was five nights since that session and we hadn’t done the exercise even once. It’s a great idea, but we are just in no place mentally to put in the effort. We had tried for years to not forfeit our companionship, only to feel drained and exhausted. We just go to couple’s therapy because that’s what good progressive millennials do. We both know what’s coming. We can feel it in the air.
A committed relationship was always on my bucket list. I had hyped up the beauty of it in my mind. Instead it’s only been a lot of work and effort and rallying and fighting and arguing. Other friends and countless other couples got to experience that brilliance, but I just felt so, so tired.
The impending break up is going to be awful. We are deeply entwined with each other, and it’s going to be painful to separate and watch our mutual friends take sides. It’s going to leave a path of destruction, but we are both resigned to this happening. I feel no control over it, it’s just what’s on the horizon. I wonder what opportunities there will be afterwards, when reality is different.
submitted by BAE_CAUGHT_ME_POOPIN to redscarepod [link] [comments]
O
In early April we had traveled to see the solar eclipse. My LTR’s friend had a crummy cabin right in the path of totality and had invited lots of people to come watch. These were acquaintances and chums from a touring / traveling / festie past life, the kind of wild spirit I’d see once or twice a year at some interesting event and ask what they’ve been up to. My lover would already know; they are a creature of social media and a master of effortlessly effusive connections. I can’t even pinpoint when I forfeited all of those attendees as now being more their friend than mine.
Totality is still ineffable despite all the accounts. You see it coming as the clouds part directly below its pathway, leaving a trail of its approach from the horizon. Animals freak out, shadows bend, the collective hype of your company irresistible. The sky darkens slightly one minute before you’re snapped into a parallel dimension ruled by a glowing ring god. For four minutes the neurons in your brain that fear the sky are screaming and you experience the answer to the question: “what if reality was different?”
Having experienced that rumination made me actually reconnect with all the attendees afterwards. How lazy I was, how fearful and jaded, to assume that friendships, human connections, didn’t deserve effort? That you should never forfeit companionship without at least trying first? How beaten down and cynical had I become that Luna herself had to remind me that love should be joyous and celebrated? Now was a chance to correct that mistake.
I ended up becoming the life of the rest of the party, an unusual position for me. Perhaps my mind was sufficiently shaken up and I saw the opportunities I had long ignored. Perhaps my gregarious partner didn’t dominate the scene because of the blotter which I had passed on. Maybe some combination of those factors led to them being uncharacteristically quiet for the rest of our stay. By contrast, the silent drive home was typical for us these days.
V
They were not in the car for the second super event. That was just me and my coworker, called off of our out-of-town jobsite. An unusual emergency meant that we had to drop everything and leave NOW. If our supervisor hadn’t called then we would have felt it in the air, a sense of impending danger spoken in wind and atmosphere.
My phone alert went off on the highway. Take shelter now, an impossible plea at 70 mph through farmlands. My coworker, a plain spoken plains man, silently barreled forward towards the green-blue cell. The throbbing bassline of Nugent’s “Stranglehold” accompanied the descending fingers of clouds that threatened just that. Cars and semis were pulled over under overpasses, a pointless shield against anything other than the hail but I still understand their impulse. We reached our exit and could see the storm that we passed under from the driver’s side window.
“There it is” he said so flatly. His enthusiasm was appropriate: there, behind the modest and familiar skyline, was the weather event every midwestern is taught to fear. But it struck no fear in me. It too looked modest and familiar.
The funnel was literally just an extension of the slate clouds above, a tendril, a shape, not registering with me as a threat at all. Even while driving through it my thoughts weren’t of danger but of melancholy resignation. Perhaps because it was a forty minute drive and my position was completely determined by outside demands: be at work at this time, go to this jobsite, leave right now, this is the only path you can take home. I felt no control over any of it, not the schedule, not the weather, not the lame ass boomer soundtrack that could’ve been the last thing I heard had a butterfly flapped it’s wings different.
The tornado incurred significant damage just a few miles from our house. My partner was equally non-plussed by the whole situation. If they had felt fear in the basement then they had forgotten it entirely, the event reduced to a “man that was crazy” story to recount later within a handful of sentences. Perhaps they too recognize that some awful events are just bound to happen, the certainty of which strips the stress away.
//
The final phenom was actually a subdued encore. The aurora borealis had made a surprise visit to the Lower 48, but we missed the first night. Even though my lover had received texts from their many friends telling them about the heavenly light show, we were already in bed and in no place mentally to go see it. The NOAA predicted it would be visible the next night, so we planned for that instead.
The drive was the last effort of the day, a final rally after work and social obligations and stressful interactions on top of endless mundane life maintenance. Our modest midwest town with it’s modest skyline isn’t too heavy on the light pollution, but there was a lake a half hour north where most of the local pictures were taken the night before. Making the voyage out there felt like a slog after those last few days, but the aurora was on my bucket list and I needed some cosmic intervention in my life. I was hoping it would be like the totality, a brilliant display that left me changed afterwards. Instead, it was like the tornado. It just was.
Sure, there were some pastel smears in the night sky. Hell, you could even point your phone at it and see if better on your camera app. But it appeared as if the display wasn’t as breath taking as the night before. Our friends and countless other couples lucked out and got to experience something beautiful, but we did not. And I felt nothing.
No anger, no resentment, no disappointment even. Just a kind of tired acceptance that I only got to see some of this brilliant thing I always wanted but I was so worn out from days of work and effort and driving and stressful interactions of fighting and arguing –
We drove back again in silence. Five days ago we were given homework from our therapist. We were instructed to end each night a brief description of a frustration from our day that didn’t involve our partner. The idea is to distill the unpleasantness to a few sentences and a few words so that we can express how we feel about negative experiences as simply as possible to each other. Perhaps that exercise will help us understand each other better and highlight themes that consistently upset us.
That only works if you do it every night. This was five nights since that session and we hadn’t done the exercise even once. It’s a great idea, but we are just in no place mentally to put in the effort. We had tried for years to not forfeit our companionship, only to feel drained and exhausted. We just go to couple’s therapy because that’s what good progressive millennials do. We both know what’s coming. We can feel it in the air.
A committed relationship was always on my bucket list. I had hyped up the beauty of it in my mind. Instead it’s only been a lot of work and effort and rallying and fighting and arguing. Other friends and countless other couples got to experience that brilliance, but I just felt so, so tired.
The impending break up is going to be awful. We are deeply entwined with each other, and it’s going to be painful to separate and watch our mutual friends take sides. It’s going to leave a path of destruction, but we are both resigned to this happening. I feel no control over it, it’s just what’s on the horizon. I wonder what opportunities there will be afterwards, when reality is different.
2024.05.16 08:37 Sparkybear94 How to deal with caregiver burn out?
Hi all, I'm wondering what others do to deal with caregiver burn out taking care of their sugar kitties. Bazzy, our hairless sphynx got rediagnosed with diabetes and Cushing's disease 6+ months ago. This means a second remission is unlikely and she'll always need insulin. She almost died 6+ months ago and thanks to my extensive research and educating myself, she's bounced back and is pretty regulated on Cushing's medication and low carb wet food + insulin.
It was an agreement between my grandmother and I that the care be split 50/50. She has gone back on her promise since day one and it has all been on me. She was the one that wanted to put Bazzy through all of this despite me saying she was suffering and it was unfair to her. While I'm glad she's still here, it makes me really resent my grandmother for making this choice and then turning around putting it all on me and making it all my responsibility.
I'm tired. I never signed up for this and being responsible for every 12 hour care is just hard. I'm also responsible for the other 2 cats as well. My grandmother is selfish and doesn't care how much I plead with her or ask her for help. She tells me to get over it and stop being a baby that I'm burnt out and tired.
I'm just wondering what you all do to deal with caregiver burn out and feeling like you're just always working round the clock. Between work, caring for Bazzy and the other cats, and everything else I just feel like I have no time for myself or a life. If anyone has suggestions I'd really appreciate anything! All in all I love Bazzy more than anything in the world and she's my baby. I just need something to help deal with this seeing as how my grandmother doesn't care about how I feel.
submitted by Sparkybear94 to FelineDiabetes [link] [comments]
It was an agreement between my grandmother and I that the care be split 50/50. She has gone back on her promise since day one and it has all been on me. She was the one that wanted to put Bazzy through all of this despite me saying she was suffering and it was unfair to her. While I'm glad she's still here, it makes me really resent my grandmother for making this choice and then turning around putting it all on me and making it all my responsibility.
I'm tired. I never signed up for this and being responsible for every 12 hour care is just hard. I'm also responsible for the other 2 cats as well. My grandmother is selfish and doesn't care how much I plead with her or ask her for help. She tells me to get over it and stop being a baby that I'm burnt out and tired.
I'm just wondering what you all do to deal with caregiver burn out and feeling like you're just always working round the clock. Between work, caring for Bazzy and the other cats, and everything else I just feel like I have no time for myself or a life. If anyone has suggestions I'd really appreciate anything! All in all I love Bazzy more than anything in the world and she's my baby. I just need something to help deal with this seeing as how my grandmother doesn't care about how I feel.
2024.05.16 08:33 thoughtful-rat1 I'm so angry all the time, I can't breathe.
I don't know what to tag this. It IS a vent, and I do want comfort (and also kind of validation that this situation is not normal, is not appropriate, etc). Gonna put the latter. I've tried to write this post probably a hundred times and every time I break down. I don't know where to start. This is a shitstorm with a lot of personally identifying information. I've changed little details that are not relevant to the story, just in hopes of not being identified.
I am 17F. I am an unpaid and unrespected full-time caregiver to a female relative who adopted me at 11. My parents were abusive, and I haven't spoken to them since "mom" rolled away in a cop car to spend a month or so in jail. My mother was a teen mother, sort of—she got pregnant at 18. She and my father both did (and do as far as I know) drugs heavily, mom is bipolar, paranoid, violent. Dad is more of your "classic" alcoholic and you don't see a lot of cogs turning, like talking to a blank wall. Well, when my mother got taken to jail my aunt took custody and then adopted me. She has chronic illnesses and also was in a car accident when I was four, is physically disabled and has become more and more mentally unstable over the years as well. Around 13, she started losing mobility to the point of needing help. Well it just kept spiraling and spiraling. Now she needs help with everything short of wiping/bathing. She doesn't leave her room or do anything. If it gets done in the house, I do it—other than the 1x monthly housekeeper Louisia. And I do a pretty damn good job. But, oh my god, I am so tired. I have a lot of mental illnesses (all professionally diagnosed, don't speculate please), I take a pretty heavy medicine that can cause some side effects, I have physical problems but doctor never pinned down a specific diagnosis outside of a few abnormalities in my bloodwork and ultrasounds. I'm so exhausted all the time and I feel like my lifeblood has been sucked out of me. I have no joy, no hope. We hate each other, and the only reason she keeps me around is because I do everything from laundry to cleaning her room to bringing her food. I DO NOT have a better option in terms of housing and I am not facing any physical abuse. Please don't try to find my identity or anything. I just want to feel like a human being. She is the type to ask you to do a lot, and then get offended when you bring up the extent of her requests. I have no time to do anything for myself, and I spend every second thinking about how this is ruining me. I'm so angry. I could scream until I pass out. She is so petty and cruel, and everyone swears I'm the crazy one. I won't claim to be totally sane, my god, who would be? But the math is pretty obvious: if she's not leaving her room, even to go to the bathroom, who's doing everything? Casper the friendly ghost? As I said, I feel subhuman, unappreciated, unrespected. She always says "I love you but I don't like you", and I always say she can't name ANYTHING she likes about me. She misses and loves a version of me that died years ago both as a result of trauma and growing up. I try to be a good person, to do anything I can, but I just break down crying and yes I get angry and petty and argue with her. It doesn't help anything but I can't tell ANYONE because it's so absurd they don't believe me, other than my friends who I don't want to burden constantly as they are just teenagers and cannot come up with solutions any better than I can—and frankly comfort from people my age who don't understand only goes so far. I start to resent everyone and everything related to caring or domestic work; the enormity of my grief and anger poisons everything about me. I get angry at people i've never met (on the internet) for doing things like talk about being a housewife. I just think, my god, I want away from this so bad and they're advocating for it! I'm not cut out for this. I want to write poetry and cook food that I like and learn to play chess better and find my life's work. I have scoured books on therapy, have been in therapy, and all kinds of self help books and religions. None of them can cut out the root, which is that this life makes me want to run away and join the circus. I have so many talents and interests and days to live and they are being wasted on maintaining the life of someone who hates me and will never get better or appreciate what has been done for her.
Please don't DM without permission. Thank you so much.
submitted by thoughtful-rat1 to CaregiverSupport [link] [comments]
I am 17F. I am an unpaid and unrespected full-time caregiver to a female relative who adopted me at 11. My parents were abusive, and I haven't spoken to them since "mom" rolled away in a cop car to spend a month or so in jail. My mother was a teen mother, sort of—she got pregnant at 18. She and my father both did (and do as far as I know) drugs heavily, mom is bipolar, paranoid, violent. Dad is more of your "classic" alcoholic and you don't see a lot of cogs turning, like talking to a blank wall. Well, when my mother got taken to jail my aunt took custody and then adopted me. She has chronic illnesses and also was in a car accident when I was four, is physically disabled and has become more and more mentally unstable over the years as well. Around 13, she started losing mobility to the point of needing help. Well it just kept spiraling and spiraling. Now she needs help with everything short of wiping/bathing. She doesn't leave her room or do anything. If it gets done in the house, I do it—other than the 1x monthly housekeeper Louisia. And I do a pretty damn good job. But, oh my god, I am so tired. I have a lot of mental illnesses (all professionally diagnosed, don't speculate please), I take a pretty heavy medicine that can cause some side effects, I have physical problems but doctor never pinned down a specific diagnosis outside of a few abnormalities in my bloodwork and ultrasounds. I'm so exhausted all the time and I feel like my lifeblood has been sucked out of me. I have no joy, no hope. We hate each other, and the only reason she keeps me around is because I do everything from laundry to cleaning her room to bringing her food. I DO NOT have a better option in terms of housing and I am not facing any physical abuse. Please don't try to find my identity or anything. I just want to feel like a human being. She is the type to ask you to do a lot, and then get offended when you bring up the extent of her requests. I have no time to do anything for myself, and I spend every second thinking about how this is ruining me. I'm so angry. I could scream until I pass out. She is so petty and cruel, and everyone swears I'm the crazy one. I won't claim to be totally sane, my god, who would be? But the math is pretty obvious: if she's not leaving her room, even to go to the bathroom, who's doing everything? Casper the friendly ghost? As I said, I feel subhuman, unappreciated, unrespected. She always says "I love you but I don't like you", and I always say she can't name ANYTHING she likes about me. She misses and loves a version of me that died years ago both as a result of trauma and growing up. I try to be a good person, to do anything I can, but I just break down crying and yes I get angry and petty and argue with her. It doesn't help anything but I can't tell ANYONE because it's so absurd they don't believe me, other than my friends who I don't want to burden constantly as they are just teenagers and cannot come up with solutions any better than I can—and frankly comfort from people my age who don't understand only goes so far. I start to resent everyone and everything related to caring or domestic work; the enormity of my grief and anger poisons everything about me. I get angry at people i've never met (on the internet) for doing things like talk about being a housewife. I just think, my god, I want away from this so bad and they're advocating for it! I'm not cut out for this. I want to write poetry and cook food that I like and learn to play chess better and find my life's work. I have scoured books on therapy, have been in therapy, and all kinds of self help books and religions. None of them can cut out the root, which is that this life makes me want to run away and join the circus. I have so many talents and interests and days to live and they are being wasted on maintaining the life of someone who hates me and will never get better or appreciate what has been done for her.
Please don't DM without permission. Thank you so much.
2024.05.16 08:32 Browniesrock23 Payment Plans for Umrah?
Hi everyone! I am seeking advice for a potential Umrah trip.
I’m 24, I live in NY and would love to go on Umrah as soon as I possibly can as I’ve been feeling a strong urge for months now that Allah SWT is calling me there and it’s killing me not being able to go. The problem is that I have absolutely no savings at all due to cost of living. After rent and bills along with supporting my family, I barely have $50 a month left to put away to save for a trip. I also recently had to purchase a new car after mine basically died on the road so I have $0 in savings right now. There are many factors financially that contribute to me not being able to go.
Is there anything I can do to still go on a trip? I’m not sure if there are payment plans available for Umrah or programs that can help fund it for me? I’m very weary of all of the sites that offer plans as I’m not sure which ones are scams and which ones are legit and can’t afford to get scammed over this. If anyone has any suggestions or solutions I would really appreciate it. Thank you!
submitted by Browniesrock23 to Umrah [link] [comments]
I’m 24, I live in NY and would love to go on Umrah as soon as I possibly can as I’ve been feeling a strong urge for months now that Allah SWT is calling me there and it’s killing me not being able to go. The problem is that I have absolutely no savings at all due to cost of living. After rent and bills along with supporting my family, I barely have $50 a month left to put away to save for a trip. I also recently had to purchase a new car after mine basically died on the road so I have $0 in savings right now. There are many factors financially that contribute to me not being able to go.
Is there anything I can do to still go on a trip? I’m not sure if there are payment plans available for Umrah or programs that can help fund it for me? I’m very weary of all of the sites that offer plans as I’m not sure which ones are scams and which ones are legit and can’t afford to get scammed over this. If anyone has any suggestions or solutions I would really appreciate it. Thank you!
2024.05.16 08:27 IloveColdCruncPickle I can’t get along with my mom, what should I do?
This is my first time posting so I’m sorry if it doesn’t make much sense or I’m trauma dumping a lot also a couple trigger warnings, I’m not sure where to start off with. Me and my mom used to be pretty close I’d say up until I started high school. Middle of eighth grade I moved to a new city so I was back to trying to find some friends. I’ve been moving around since I could remember, I used to live in Germany where I moved twice, then moved to the US around the Silicon Valley, moved again, and again and again now we’re here. I wouldn’t be explaining this part of my life if I felt like it didn’t have any weight in this situation. Middle school I found a friend, me and her got pretty close, stuck through Covid together. My mom hated her and not even two years into our friendship my mom started accusing her of stealing from us, being a bad influence and overall just being trashy. Her parents were in the middle of getting a divorce and she had a lot of things going on in her life. I dyed my hair red during this time too while being friends with her, she probably was a huge influence on me but that’s also because it was covid and I was bored and who doesn’t start irrationally bleaching and coloring their hair at 14. I think my mom thought she was a bad influence on that part too because she's the one that first started off coloring her hair like purple and pink etc. My mom never of course said anything to my friend but she made sure I would hear of her disapproval concerning her bad influence in my life. I stopped being friends with her freshman year since my parents banned me from having her over or going to her house, I couldn’t drive neither could she and hanging out at each other's houses was pretty much what we did 80% of the time. I was so frustrated and felt trapped because the only friend I really cared about was someone I wasn’t allowed to associate with anymore. I told her I was done being friends with her over text and blamed it on me just being in a dark place and breaking it off. She was confused and called me a week later about something personal but I just dismissed it. Granted there were other things going on in our friendship but I felt terrible about it especially since her parents were going through that divorce and I just left during such a sensitive time. I hate to admit it but I felt so much better since I started making new friends quickly and started sitting with a new group the next day. Mostly guys and other two girls, it worked out fine for the next year. Junior year my grades started dropping so my parents got stricter, started taking my phone, looking through it, screen time etc. I felt like it was a huge invasion of privacy since my mom would look through my texts. Me and my mom also started arguing weekly about whatever it was but when I mean arguing I mean like full on yelling for two hours down in the living room with no stopping. I can’t do anything about it because whenever I say something remotely disproving her so called “facts'' since she always speaks with so much authority on subjects she wouldn’t even know about I’m the one that has to quiet down from my fathers perspective, and I know this will be mostly about my mom but me and my dad have always been close even when we’re fighting within a week we at least make it up. We play the same sports, have the same humor etc. I understand this might look like us disregarding my mom and I know she cares and loves me yet in certain circumstances she doesn’t show it so of course there’s going to be reasons as to why I’m closer with my dad than her. For example I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes in 4th grade and of course I wouldn’t expect anyone to know that when you're low you need carbs or when your blood sugar is high you need insulin but my mom to this day still does not understand it. I wouldn’t care even if it’s my friend but as my mom you take so much authority over my life and who I can’t or can hangout with but you don’t know the basics of how I have to manage my life behind closed doors in the house that you and I live in every day. That might sound overdramatic but it’s just something I think about. Also growing up, I’m an only child by the way, I would always play by myself whenever we went on vacation for example to the beach etc. it was always my dad that came and played with me in the sand while at sharing his time with me and my mom so my mom wouldn’t gets upset over him leaving her to go play with me. Even now I notice how my mom would always make snarky comments regarding how my dad always treats me like a princess and cares too much over me. Anywho, since I know this is getting pretty long I’ll try to sum it up a bit more. I started liking one of the guys from that group, I would text him on a daily basis just about whatever. We were pretty awkward in person since I’ve never really talked to that many guys and I don’t think he really had much experience either so we stuck it to mostly phones, everyone else in the group also didn’t know. Once my mom went through my phone on one occasion that night, because she would collect it on some nights and read through my messages in bed she saw one message from that guy calling my mom bipolar and me responding with something like it’s fine like I still love her she freaked out. She told me to never talk to him again and that I’m a brat for talking about my family issues outside of the family etc. I honestly had nobody to talk to. The other two girls in the group didn’t really talk to me at this time, I later became really close with one of them though more on that later and I had no other friends in that town so it was really only him. He had a plethora of family issues that I couldn’t even imagine so I felt like he understood where I was coming from at times better than other kids with American parents. Not sure I mentioned but my parents were both born in Eastern Europe and grew up during heavy communism so that definitely affected them and their parenting style. Anywho, my mom sent me a paragraph to show to him, basically telling him to never talk to me again and that he has to apologize to her etc. After a couple months I think he took me out on a date. I'm not sure what to make of it since it was pretty casual. We just got ice cream. I told my parents that he was only picking me up so we could meet with the rest of the group when of course we’re not. The rest of the guys saw us downtown and found out about it. That kinda really sucked since I’m pretty sure one of them liked me so he got really mad and it kind of ruined the group dynamic. The guy I liked stopped talking to me a couple months in since I couldn’t really do much or go anywhere and dating as a result would be hard so he stopped really talking to me it was pretty off and on since I would get mad stop texting him and then he would try to get back texting at me and once I showed him I cared he’d stop. I was so mad at him and the situation that I refrained myself from talking to him, two weeks later he killed himself. I found out because one of the guys from the group faced me and told me. I went downstairs and started crying and formed the sentences explaining it the best I could, pushing a couple words out at a time. In that very moment I felt so hurt and vulnerable by what just happened my mom responded by just looking at me and saying that he had it coming for him since he probably vaped and drank. My dad ran downstairs since he probably heard me crying and the first thing he did without asking me any questions was hug me. For the first time ever he told my mom to shut up since her trying to ask me questions about how he died just made me sob harder. Over the next week my mom was pretty lenient about letting me go out. The next week she started asking what happened to him. Me and my mom were not close at all anymore at this time. You see mothers and daughters talking about guys or what dress they’re gonna wear to the prom etc in the movies. Me and my mom are not like that. On top of that I was overwhelmed with what happened and as someone does overthinking how things could have played out differently. Anyway I refused to tell her anything saying I was too uncomfortable and over the course of the next couple months of senior year she would get progressively mad and irritated at me to the point of arguing and yelling at me for not trusting her and telling her how he killed himself. I to this day told her nothing but she stopped asking. I don’t know how my dad feeds into this since he’s always so Switzerland about everything when I know I’m right in an argument between me and my mom, however when my mom has leverage he takes her side. Anyway, the beginning of senior year was rough. I hated being in that house and really started seriously considering the only options I felt like I had at the time. I started becoming closer to that one girl from the group earlier, spoiler alert my mom strongly dislikes her now too since she’s a liar and since she’s close with her mom but not her dad that means her parents are having marital issues and therefore her mom is a cheater etc. I don’t understand how she goes from one topic to another and sorts these things into her head. She’s my only friend that I’m really close with and I have been for the past these almost two so hearing this is very disheartening since I’m sending off senior year and I can’t do this again being so close to the end of the year. I forgot to mention but during homecoming I drank for the first time and I had one of my guy friends with his girlfriend and that friend that I’m not friends with drop me off. When he dropped me off he didn’t wave to my mom so she now thinks he’s a bastard in her words and disgusting and she deserves and apology for all the times he’s been over to my house etc. which I honestly think is insane because how do you always have so many issues over my friends and why are you so obsessed with 16 year olds, like you really have beef with high school kids as a 50 year old. Anyway the reason I bring that up is because I invited him over a couple weeks ago for some drills to help one of my other friends with mma since me and him used to wrestle and my mom got mad despite him not being there for me but for my other friends benefit. I’m not sure if this makes any sense. I'm trying to explain the issue best I can without saying too much. Anyway my friend, the one that I’m friends with now, the girl and that guy from the group that didn’t wave at my mom are both Latin so my mom started calling them cheaters and dirty etc when they had nothing to do with anything. This argument spiraled over me asking my mom if I can have a sleepover with those friends since we want to bring a new series on Netflix. Also during prom I asked my parents for 10 dollars since I already had twenty in my account and I wanted to buy hair stuff for prom. They gave me the 10 and I said how I was going to catch a ride with friend A so that when friend A picked me up but friend B that I did not mention in the plan picked me up my parents started calling and texting me. To give some background friend B has been close with me since freshman year, probably the only friend my mom has liked and also the only white friend I have not sure if that has anything do with it but there’s that. She’s really sweet and has been invited over multiple times to my house by my parents, they do really like her. Anywho yet since I didn’t mention that friend B was driving the car since my parents didn’t recognize the new car and knew it wasn’t friend A driving yet assumed it was indeed friend B but since I didn’t mention that they took all the money I had in my account which was only 30 dollars but it was what I needed to get my nails and hair gloss and hair spray for prom, I just started breaking down in the middle of target. I was so excited to get my stick on nails etc since I couldn’t afford to get the acrylics since I was paying for all my prom stuff for the most part. By the way I know that the 10 dollars was initially there so I understand taking away that but the other 20 I made selling my clothes on mercari and I had nothing else like no other cash nothing that was the money I worked on to get my prom stuff. It was mostly my dad actually that got mad at this point taking my money etc and than following a got a text from my mom saying I got what I was coming for by acting the way I have been. There were 3 others with me while I was at target so having three of my friends see me breakdown from me only having 14 cents left in my account was so humiliating. I ended up looking great at prom neither less so don’t even worry about that, my hair looked great and I found some old stick-ons in my laundry room and painted them white lol a couple of them popped off during prom but whatever. This has been really long and thanks to whoever spent their time reading through all of this I’m sorry if the read is a bit of a struggle but I just don’t know what to think or do of this situation. Keep in mind I’m 18 now, never have had a boyfriend, never have do anything, kissed, even held hands romantically etc. it’s one thing you know to not care about any of that but the thing is I do and I want to experience being a teenager and going out and going on dates and not worry about my mom flipping out on one of my friends. While we were in Italy one of the tour guys told her to move on the bus to make more room for others and she started cussing him out telling him to f himself etc for telling her a paying customer where to sit. Everyone started staring at us. I did not want to be there. I just kept my head down the entire time and didn’t really talk to my mom out of embarrassment for the next two days. Also after that prom incident I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere after as a result of go to friend B's birthday bash the next day so my mom texted her without my knowledge and told her not to tell me about how I’ve been acting up and one day I’ll learn when I’m her age but it will be too late and that I don’t know what I’m doing and finishing off my apologizing on my part for my behavior and I’m the reason why I can’t go to her party. Which I find so infuriating because one of the main reasons why I don’t tell my mom anything about my personal life is because I simply don’t want her to have that control of knowing what my life is like, I probably tell the teacher I TA for more than my own biological mother. The fact that she preached family issues in the family so heavily and that you should never talk about issues to others yet goes behind my back and tells my friend that my indecent behavior is the reason why I can’t go is so beyond me because where did your ideals go that you preached so heavily about. Every time I’m around my mom especially when she has her flares of anger I just start shaking like you know when you drink something with a lot of caffeine in the morning and you don’t eat anything so mid way through the day you just start getting jittery and anxious, kind of like that. Ok I think I’m done anyway thank you for tuning in cause I really have to start studying for human geo, thanks for reading up until here 🙂.
submitted by IloveColdCruncPickle to FamilyIssues [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 08:27 bbyfrost bf & i are really just at a loss
hi, im pretty new to the whole reddit scene and felt like i didnt have much to post about, but man, i need to talk about this situation im in. any and all advice is welcomed and greatly appreciated. this is not a request for money!
im currently 32 weeks pregnant (was not planned.) just over a month ago, my boyfriend and i were homeless, like sleeping on benches kinda homeless. im 19 and he is 21. he comes from pretty broken home, and i was kicked out when i told my mom about my pregnancy. being thrown out into the real world so young has really not worked out so well for either of us, but recently things were starting to look up. i was able to make amends with my family to move back in & he was able to secure a construction job by sleeping nearby so he was able to walk to the site. on his first paycheck he bought a cash car to sleep in and get him to safer areas at night time. here and there he would let me use the car to doordash for some extra money. all was well for about 2 weeks until we hit a pothole that blew out one of our tires, and when we took it in to have it replaced, we also had to pay to fix the alignment and a leak in the coolant tank. $800 gone just like that. we actually had to get some assistance in paying for that from a couple friends because we didn’t have the full amount that was sprung on us. that was 2 DAYS AGO. so, here we are today, enjoying having the car back running “smoothly” until randomly, no more than 20 minutes after he picks me up, the car starts literally vibrating and jolting while we are driving. he calls up a friend who is supposedly pretty good with cars, and uses a code reader to tell us we need a new battery. we are dead broke after getting this car out of the shop, so after a while we eventually called up our church to see if this was something they could help with, and they actually did. we had to catch a ride there with a friend, but they gave us a brand new battery. we get it hooked up in the car, and nothing changed. so he uses the code reader again, now its saying the spark plugs are misfiring. thankfully our friends were willing to help us out with another $40 on those, and he got to changing them. on the 3rd plug, when he pulled it out, it was covered in black oil. we dried it up, put the new one in, and just by leaving the car idling for a couple minutes, it pooled up again. the car is not safe to drive and we have no means of income without it considering that he is stranded about 30 miles from his job. he is having to sleep in the autozone parking lot tonight. thankfully, yet AGAIN, i got help from my friend to get me an uber home because i have an OB appointment tomorrow, which i also will have to pay back the copay for at some point lol. so now we are a few hundred in debt to our friends with no means of income and it was all for nothing. we literally wasted everyones day away and now im literally drowning in stress because it will more than likely need to be towed. and even if it can be worked on at autozone we are completely out of options to continue trying to fix it. we spent EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLARS that we did not have only for this to happen 2 days later.
i guess thats it, lol. once again i would like to reiterate that this is not a post to ask for financial assistance, but this car is our lifeline and we have put every dollar we can into it. are there any other things we can do at this point? neither of us have credit so we cant take out a loan through the bank. this is the first car either of us have ever owned. if its useful info, the car is a 2015 nissan altima.
sorry for the long post. i just had an exhausting night and wanted to yap a little about it. thanks for reading and again any advice would be helpful . :)
submitted by bbyfrost to povertyfinance [link] [comments]
im currently 32 weeks pregnant (was not planned.) just over a month ago, my boyfriend and i were homeless, like sleeping on benches kinda homeless. im 19 and he is 21. he comes from pretty broken home, and i was kicked out when i told my mom about my pregnancy. being thrown out into the real world so young has really not worked out so well for either of us, but recently things were starting to look up. i was able to make amends with my family to move back in & he was able to secure a construction job by sleeping nearby so he was able to walk to the site. on his first paycheck he bought a cash car to sleep in and get him to safer areas at night time. here and there he would let me use the car to doordash for some extra money. all was well for about 2 weeks until we hit a pothole that blew out one of our tires, and when we took it in to have it replaced, we also had to pay to fix the alignment and a leak in the coolant tank. $800 gone just like that. we actually had to get some assistance in paying for that from a couple friends because we didn’t have the full amount that was sprung on us. that was 2 DAYS AGO. so, here we are today, enjoying having the car back running “smoothly” until randomly, no more than 20 minutes after he picks me up, the car starts literally vibrating and jolting while we are driving. he calls up a friend who is supposedly pretty good with cars, and uses a code reader to tell us we need a new battery. we are dead broke after getting this car out of the shop, so after a while we eventually called up our church to see if this was something they could help with, and they actually did. we had to catch a ride there with a friend, but they gave us a brand new battery. we get it hooked up in the car, and nothing changed. so he uses the code reader again, now its saying the spark plugs are misfiring. thankfully our friends were willing to help us out with another $40 on those, and he got to changing them. on the 3rd plug, when he pulled it out, it was covered in black oil. we dried it up, put the new one in, and just by leaving the car idling for a couple minutes, it pooled up again. the car is not safe to drive and we have no means of income without it considering that he is stranded about 30 miles from his job. he is having to sleep in the autozone parking lot tonight. thankfully, yet AGAIN, i got help from my friend to get me an uber home because i have an OB appointment tomorrow, which i also will have to pay back the copay for at some point lol. so now we are a few hundred in debt to our friends with no means of income and it was all for nothing. we literally wasted everyones day away and now im literally drowning in stress because it will more than likely need to be towed. and even if it can be worked on at autozone we are completely out of options to continue trying to fix it. we spent EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLARS that we did not have only for this to happen 2 days later.
i guess thats it, lol. once again i would like to reiterate that this is not a post to ask for financial assistance, but this car is our lifeline and we have put every dollar we can into it. are there any other things we can do at this point? neither of us have credit so we cant take out a loan through the bank. this is the first car either of us have ever owned. if its useful info, the car is a 2015 nissan altima.
sorry for the long post. i just had an exhausting night and wanted to yap a little about it. thanks for reading and again any advice would be helpful . :)
2024.05.16 08:23 Naes86 Raising Money to Help Thailand Dogs Outside of the Usual Tourist Areas - Really Struggling to Get Going
Raising Money to Help Thailand Dogs Outside of the Usual Tourist Areas
I think I’ve found my calling in life – helping the alone and abandoned street dogs of Thailand.It’s well known that there’s stray dogs all over Thailand – known as Soi Dogs. In the tourist areas such as Bangkok, Phuket, Koh Samui etc – some of these dogs get lucky and are taken care of by one of the great charities operating in these areas.
However, since moving to a more rural area of Thailand, Huai Krot, I’ve noticed the dogs here seem to have it a lot harder. There’s no charities to take care of them and no tourists looking out for them. The vast majority of the Thai general public have their own concerns and worries and don’t see that taking care of the dogs (and cats, birds etc) is important or should concern them.
Dogs here, for the most part, get treated like pests, almost the same as rats and pigeons etc. They’re hit, kicked, have rocks thrown at them, cars hit them and don’t stop. A lot of them have skin problems or more serious injuries and very people try to help them. They’re also hungry and rarely have access to clean water.
There are some good people here who try to help and feed the dogs out of their own pocket, but when you are struggling to feed yourself and your family, the help you can offer the dogs becomes quite limited.
Since the start of this year I’ve been trying to do as much as I can for the dogs in my local area. I provide as much food and water as I can and I’ve already garnered a bit of a reputation for being “that farang who helps the dogs”. I very much enjoy doing it and I love to see the difference in the timid dogs after you’ve fed them a few times.
However what I’ve been able to do is just a drop in the ocean compared to how many dogs here need some help. I’ve talked about doing something properly for quite a while now – and I think there’s no better time than now to get started helping the dogs of Huai Krot and the wider area.
I’ve also seen some dogs in pretty horrendous states including a dog that had been savaged by a pack of other dogs and had its rear left leg almost ripped off. Helping this dog was well out of my scope – but I hope in the future I will be able to help every dog that needs it.
The eventual goal would be to have a proper facility for homing and taking care of any local dogs that need it. But to get started I’m going to concentrate on feeding, watering and providing medicine and medical care for as many dogs as possible. We are trying to raise £5000 to pay for the following;
· £2000 for food and water supplies including bowls
· £2000 for medicines – primarily Bravecto – for helping with Mange which is very prevalent around here. This would also include Tick and Flea medicines/collars
· £600 for a Motorbike with Sidecar for transporting large amounts of food – and also for transporting dogs to the vet when needs arise
· £400 – the remaining £400 would be kept in reserve for any unplanned emergencies or unexpected costs etc
I am jumping into the deep end here. I just want to help the dogs living around here as they are out of reach of most of the major charities and seem forgotten about. This is just the beginning with the end goal eventually being that we are able to open a facility to not only help dogs but home them as well. This is far down the line though and we need to start somewhere. So making sure as many dogs as possible are getting regular food and water and have access to medications to improve their quality of life would be a good place to start.
Hopefully some people feel the same and will be able to help us on this journey.
Thanks for reading
Sean Wilson
Huai Krot Hounds
If anyone would like to donate please message me and I'll give you the donation link. Thank you