Wishing a dead friend a happy

I’m not gonna lie, I’m just posting this to vent, and maybe get some validation and encouragement.
My ex and I broke up last year, May 2023. I know deep down it needed to happen because we were together 7.5 years and had nothing together. I spent the last couple years constantly asking wth we’re doing. We’d have breakups and then he’d tell me he wants to have babies and wants to take care of me. That never happened. We never lived together. The final breakup was because I finally hit that point of resenting him. I gave him my best years because I truly thought we were gonna make it. He got me a ring in the end, but it felt like a “here ya go, this’ll shut you up” ring. And just didn’t feel like what I know I deserve.
When I’m in a relationship, I’m loyal to a fault. I saw no one else but him. Truly TRULY deeply loved him. Really believed he’d be my husband and the father of our future kids. He was my absolute best friend.
Mind you, he tried to come back and make it work. But there’s just this weird distance between us now. And I can’t get rid of it. He took me on dates and bought me flowers to make up for a lot of the ways he took me for granted… and I just felt numb. So we “tried” and it just felt like it needed to end.
But now I’m alone and miss the great parts of us. I lay here and keep seeing the moments of us CRACKING UP at stupid things and inside jokes. I wish I still had that. He was truly the love of my life.
I hate that I’m alone now. I know ppl don’t like to admit that, but I don’t care. I hate that he let it go so easily when we did end it. I truly miss him as my counterpart. I feel so broken. It’s been a year and I really don’t know how people get through this.
I’m constantly told I’m beautiful, “gorgeous”, funny, intelligent, in shape, loving, sharp, great with kids, all of these great qualities that ppl follow up with “you’ll find someone”… but I HAD him and I don’t understand how I’m supposed to just accept that I’ll never cuddle with him again, go to his house after work, lay in bed watching movies, go to concerts together, family parties, make future plans etc.
Everyone around me thinks I’m okay but I’m really not.
I’ve also been going on dates, and I have fun and I can be in the moment. But then I have a breakdown (like right now as I’m typing this) and I don’t get it. I really thought he would be my husband and we’d just live a quiet simple life.
TL;DR: I miss my ex and idk how im going to survive this.

It's just a recurring question in my head like why am I still alive I wish I had the guts to kms because I've already tried 2 times I'm afraid I'll fail and damage myself and be a vegetable for the rest of my life and suffer more than I am already I just wish someone would hit me with their car or I fall asleep and don't wake up I wish people actually liked me I wish I wasn't so hard to be around because of how weird I am I mean I see people look at me with disgust and I genuinely won't stop thinking about that for the rest of the day point is I hate myself and I understand why people would hate me too I just wish I was dead. And unlike before I do wish someone could save me

Hi dear friends, everything in my inventory is up for trade and up for sale.
I also buy/sell skins via Crypto/CSGOFloat.
Check out my CSGOFloat stall here, almost every high tier item is listed here: https://csfloat.com/stall/76561198021680043
(This List only contain items above $100 I have a lot more items in my inventory, check that out on my profile)
This list is not always up to date there is more unlisted items in my inventory! feel free to add me to discuss offers. The fastest way to get a response is to send me a direct trade offer through my trade link.
Tips to communicate with me: be informative on what you're interested in and if you wish to buy with cash/crypto or trade.
My discord: antonbeastskins
Links to my profile / trade offer
Steam Profile: https://steamcommunity.com/id/antontrades/
Trade offer: https://steamcommunity.com/tradeoffenew/?partner=61414315&token=WGyxdHWU
Every item is up for trade, don't be afraid to send an offer! Buyout
[H]
★ Butterfly Knife Emerald - FN - 0.007
AWP Dragon Lore - FN - 0.03 Titan Holo Scope
AWP Dragon Lore - FN - 0.06
StatTrak™ AK-47 Redline - MW - 0.13 4x IBP Paper Kato 14
Glock-18 Dragon Tattoo - FN IBP Holo Best Pos
★ M9 Bayonet Sapphire - FN - 0.006
★ M9 Bayonet Ruby - FN - 0.02
★ Karambit Emerald - FN - 0.03 FLAWLESS
★ Karambit Ruby - FN - 0.01 FLAWLESS
AWP Gungnir - FT - 0.20
★ M9 Bayonet Black Pearl - FN - 0.03
AK-47 Wild Lotus - MW - 0.13
AWP Dragon Lore - FT - 0.17
★ Sport Gloves Superconductor - MW - 0.13
M4A4 Howl - MW - 0.09914636611938477
★ Butterfly Knife P2 - FN - 0.02
★ Butterfly Knife P2 - FN - 0.031
★ Butterfly Knife P2 - FN - 0.05
★ Sport Gloves Vice - MW - 0.12
★ Sport Gloves Vice - MW - 0.14
★ Bayonet Sapphire - FN - 0.03
★ Bayonet Sapphire - FN - 0.03
★ Talon Knife Black Pearl - FN - 0.02
★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Kimono - MW - 0.14 T2 Kimonos
★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Kimono - MW - 0.126
★ Karambit Fade - FN - 0.009 99.55% Fade
★ Karambit Fade - FN - 0.02 90.94% Fade
Glock-18 Fade - FN - 0.001 99.6% Fade
★ M9 Bayonet Fade - FN - 0.01 99.60% Fade
★ M9 Bayonet Fade - FN - 0.007 99.29% Fade
★ Butterfly Knife Fade - FN - 0.01 98.27% Fade
★ Butterfly Knife Fade - FN - 0.00 93.78% Fade
★ Butterfly Knife Fade - FN - 0.04 80.45% Fade
★ Butterfly Knife Fade - FN - 0.02 100.0% Fade (MAX FADE)
★ Butterfly Knife Fade - FN - 0.06 82.08% Fade
★ Butterfly Knife Fade - FN - 0.06 85.36% Fade
★ Butterfly Knife Fade - FN - 0.03 82.77% Fade
★ Butterfly Knife Fade - FN - 0.03 82.99% Fade
AWP Fade - FN - 0.03 82.13% Fade
AWP Fade - FN - 0.01 96.77% Fade
AWP Fade - FN - 0.01 100.0% Fade (MAX)
AWP Fade - FN - 0.03 93.02% Fade
★ Butterfly Knife Gamma Doppler P2 - FN - 0.00
★ Stiletto Knife Ruby - FN - 0.00
★ Stiletto Knife Sapphire - FN - 0.03
★ Stiletto Knife Sapphire - FN - 0.03
★ StatTrak™ Butterfly Knife Fade - FN - 0.04 99.29% Fade
M4A1-S Knight - FN - 0.02
★ Butterfly Knife Doppler P4 - FN - 0.006
★ Butterfly Knife Doppler P4 - FN - 0.03
★ Butterfly Knife Doppler P4 - FN - 0.05
★ Flip Knife Ruby - FN - 0.006
★ Sport Gloves Hedge Maze - FT - 0.201
Sticker Titan Katowice 2014
AWP The Prince - FT - 0.20
★ Butterfly Knife Doppler P1 - FN - 0.02
★ Butterfly Knife Doppler P3 - FN - 0.03
AWP Desert Hydra - MW - 0.13
★ Ursus Knife Ruby - FN - 0.006
★ Butterfly Knife Marble Fade - FN - 0.03
★ Butterfly Knife Marble Fade - FN - 0.02
AK-47 Gold Arabesque - WW - 0.41
★ StatTrak™ Karambit Gamma Doppler P3 - FN - 0.01
★ Karambit Gamma Doppler P4 - FN - 0.02
★ Ursus Knife Sapphire - FN - 0.03
Souvenir AK-47 Gold Arabesque - BS - 0.684
★ Huntsman Knife Ruby - FN - 0.007
★ Sport Gloves Amphibious - MW - 0.12
★ Huntsman Knife Sapphire - FN - 0.02
★ Karambit Marble Fade - FN - 0.01
★ Karambit Doppler P3 - FN - 0.02
★ Karambit Doppler P1 - FN - 0.03
★ Driver Gloves King Snake - MW - 0.14 Clean Knuckles
★ Talon Knife Fade - FN - 0.00 99.9% Fade
★ Falchion Knife Emerald - FN - 0.02
★ Sport Gloves Vice - FT - 0.33
★ Karambit Tiger Tooth - FN - 0.06

Hi dear friends, everything in my inventory is up for trade and up for sale.
I also buy/sell skins via Crypto/CSGOFloat.
Check out my CSGOFloat stall here, almost every high tier item is listed here: https://csfloat.com/stall/76561198021680043
(This List only contain items above $100 I have a lot more items in my inventory, check that out on my profile)
This list is not always up to date there is more unlisted items in my inventory! feel free to add me to discuss offers. The fastest way to get a response is to send me a direct trade offer through my trade link.
Tips to communicate with me: be informative on what you're interested in and if you wish to buy with cash/crypto or trade.
My discord: antonbeastskins
Links to my profile / trade offer
Steam Profile: https://steamcommunity.com/id/antontrades/
Trade offer: https://steamcommunity.com/tradeoffenew/?partner=61414315&token=WGyxdHWU
Every item is up for trade, don't be afraid to send an offer! Buyout
[H]
★ Butterfly Knife Emerald - FN - 0.007
AWP Dragon Lore - FN - 0.03 Titan Holo Scope
AWP Dragon Lore - FN - 0.06
StatTrak™ AK-47 Redline - MW - 0.13 4x IBP Paper Kato 14
Glock-18 Dragon Tattoo - FN IBP Holo Best Pos
★ M9 Bayonet Sapphire - FN - 0.006
★ M9 Bayonet Ruby - FN - 0.02
★ Karambit Emerald - FN - 0.03 FLAWLESS
★ Karambit Ruby - FN - 0.01 FLAWLESS
AWP Gungnir - FT - 0.20
★ M9 Bayonet Black Pearl - FN - 0.03
AK-47 Wild Lotus - MW - 0.13
AWP Dragon Lore - FT - 0.17
★ Sport Gloves Superconductor - MW - 0.13
M4A4 Howl - MW - 0.09914636611938477
★ Butterfly Knife P2 - FN - 0.02
★ Butterfly Knife P2 - FN - 0.031
★ Butterfly Knife P2 - FN - 0.05
★ Sport Gloves Vice - MW - 0.12
★ Sport Gloves Vice - MW - 0.14
★ Bayonet Sapphire - FN - 0.03
★ Bayonet Sapphire - FN - 0.03
★ Talon Knife Black Pearl - FN - 0.02
★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Kimono - MW - 0.14 T2 Kimonos
★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Kimono - MW - 0.126
★ Karambit Fade - FN - 0.009 99.55% Fade
★ Karambit Fade - FN - 0.02 90.94% Fade
Glock-18 Fade - FN - 0.001 99.6% Fade
★ M9 Bayonet Fade - FN - 0.01 99.60% Fade
★ M9 Bayonet Fade - FN - 0.007 99.29% Fade
★ Butterfly Knife Fade - FN - 0.01 98.27% Fade
★ Butterfly Knife Fade - FN - 0.00 93.78% Fade
★ Butterfly Knife Fade - FN - 0.04 80.45% Fade
★ Butterfly Knife Fade - FN - 0.02 100.0% Fade (MAX FADE)
★ Butterfly Knife Fade - FN - 0.06 82.08% Fade
★ Butterfly Knife Fade - FN - 0.06 85.36% Fade
★ Butterfly Knife Fade - FN - 0.03 82.77% Fade
★ Butterfly Knife Fade - FN - 0.03 82.99% Fade
AWP Fade - FN - 0.03 82.13% Fade
AWP Fade - FN - 0.01 96.77% Fade
AWP Fade - FN - 0.01 100.0% Fade (MAX)
AWP Fade - FN - 0.03 93.02% Fade
★ Butterfly Knife Gamma Doppler P2 - FN - 0.00
★ Stiletto Knife Ruby - FN - 0.00
★ Stiletto Knife Sapphire - FN - 0.03
★ Stiletto Knife Sapphire - FN - 0.03
★ StatTrak™ Butterfly Knife Fade - FN - 0.04 99.29% Fade
M4A1-S Knight - FN - 0.02
★ Butterfly Knife Doppler P4 - FN - 0.006
★ Butterfly Knife Doppler P4 - FN - 0.03
★ Butterfly Knife Doppler P4 - FN - 0.05
★ Flip Knife Ruby - FN - 0.006
★ Sport Gloves Hedge Maze - FT - 0.201
Sticker Titan Katowice 2014
AWP The Prince - FT - 0.20
★ Butterfly Knife Doppler P1 - FN - 0.02
★ Butterfly Knife Doppler P3 - FN - 0.03
AWP Desert Hydra - MW - 0.13
★ Ursus Knife Ruby - FN - 0.006
★ Butterfly Knife Marble Fade - FN - 0.03
★ Butterfly Knife Marble Fade - FN - 0.02
AK-47 Gold Arabesque - WW - 0.41
★ StatTrak™ Karambit Gamma Doppler P3 - FN - 0.01
★ Karambit Gamma Doppler P4 - FN - 0.02
★ Ursus Knife Sapphire - FN - 0.03
Souvenir AK-47 Gold Arabesque - BS - 0.684
★ Huntsman Knife Ruby - FN - 0.007
★ Sport Gloves Amphibious - MW - 0.12
★ Huntsman Knife Sapphire - FN - 0.02
★ Karambit Marble Fade - FN - 0.01
★ Karambit Doppler P3 - FN - 0.02
★ Karambit Doppler P1 - FN - 0.03
★ Driver Gloves King Snake - MW - 0.14 Clean Knuckles
★ Talon Knife Fade - FN - 0.00 99.9% Fade
★ Falchion Knife Emerald - FN - 0.02
★ Sport Gloves Vice - FT - 0.33
★ Karambit Tiger Tooth - FN - 0.06

Does anyone else have a hard time dealing with being sick and lacking productivity as a result?
I was just exposed to Covid by several people on a trip, and I unfortunately am starting to show mild symptoms. I guess this means I will be having a one-man party in my room for the next few days! 🥳🎉🎊
Today is my first full day of isolation, and I’ve been having a rough time. Last time I had Covid was two years ago, and I went through the same situation. Contracting illnesses is such a loss of control for me, and I always do my best to avoid getting sick because of it. I wasn’t so lucky this time, but what can you do.
On the bright side, I met virtually with a therapist yesterday for the first time, and we were discussing OCPD, RO-DBT, over-controlled behavior, etc. and it was extremely helpful. **Side note: She is the first provider that I’ve talked to from my state that actually knows about OCPD, which is what I’ve been looking for for months now! Very happy about that :).
However, I wish I had that meeting ~before~ finding out I was exposed to Covid, because maybe I could’ve talked to her about how illnesses are tough to deal with for me. If you guys relate to this, I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences regarding these types of loss-of-control issues.
If you need me, I’ll be attempting to relax in my bedroom 😆.

our house is located in a mountain and we are surrounded by trees. yesterday, my mother went to the mango tree near our house to pick ripe mangoes that have fallen and saw two dead crows. we know these crows because we've seen them roam around and it seems they live through the nearby trees. after my mother saw that she asked my father to bury their dead bodies and my father thinks that these crows have died for a long time now because they smell really bad. after learning that i wondered what will happen to the remaining crow because it's friends are gone now. this crow's alone now.
today, we went to the mango tree again to pick ripe mangoes and saw another two dead crows (earlier morning and now 5 PM) and now there's other crows cawing in the trees. they're like ~6 now. i can't count them exactly because some are flying around. i don't know what happened to that one crow yesterday. i'm just wondering why crows are keep on dying here. we thought the two dead crows my parents saw yesterday fought over ripe mangoes but it seems that's not the case because another two dead crows are dead! and more crows are around our area now. why this is happening?
i hope everyone can help us to understand and apologies if my english is not clear.

I (23M) had a date last night with this incredibly beautiful Lithuanian girl (20F). She studies at my uni a couple years below me and I fancied her for a while.
The date was super nice. She loved the live jazz at the bar I took her to. We had beers and we were pretty much laughing and having fun conversations all night.
Somehow I feel like we’re not compatible. She is more into the fast life, study during the day, work in the evening and party at night, while I like to take things easy and give myself the rest that I need. She is also a meat eater while I’m vegan, and she smokes while I only smoke at parties. These aren’t huge dealbreakers, but they’re not helping a lot.
I just feel a bit shit because she is so incredibly beautiful and I wish I could’ve just fallen in love with her. I guess we can stay friends.

On one hand I am starting to feel more desensetized from the human experience and the general life experience: I mean real talk even if humanity was a utopia, we would all still get our wake up call in life one way or the other:Diseases, injuries, natural disasters, wild animals being assholes(this is why I don't understand the radical empathy this sub has sometimes for non-human creatures, as if THEY'RE ANY better)
On another hand: I wouldn't say I hate humanity with a passion per se, at least that's not me in this case anymore, maybe I used to overdo my misanthropy in my high school days. But there is a part of me that feels criminally disappointed in humanity, from all the failed expectations to the smokescreens and deceptions society pulls on our ass all the time to society's inconsistency with a lot of topics(great example being social justice, you would think with the so called Opression Olympics, that so called marginalized groups would try to band together and actually overthrow our opressors at the top, which are supposed to be so called evil rich white men according them, yet the whole thing reeks of nothing but vulnerable narcissism and everyone trying to weaponize their struggles for personal gain and social status, BUT SHOULD I REALLY BE SURPRISED AS A MISANTHROPE that we resorted to this level of high school thinking, like not even high schoolers do this shit bruh)
On another hand: I am also so desensetized to the point where I don't care what happens to humanity in the long run anymore(which includes me as well), now whether you believe humanity is headed for a downfall or you're a radical optimist who thinks humanity is progressing, I don't care, is not my battle of concern to deal with, so rather than throttling on hardcore pessimism about humanity's status quo, I just engage in a little more contemporary philosophical stoicism about it, but this also means if society were to disappear overnite I could give less of 2 monkey shits. Why should I care? After all the backstabbing, bullying, social discrimination, antagonizing, interpersonal conflict, social ostracism, abuse of authority and violence a lot of people have incited onto me, WHY SHOULD I LOGICALLY THEN CARE TO PRESERVE THIS PARTICULAR SOCIETY OR HUMAN SOCIETY IN GENERAL? Yes I know people with good mannerisms exist, but my trust issues are starting to even get in the way of people with good intentions, I need to get better at vetting my people
On another hand I still have natural and innate urged to want to contribute to society for the better: I suppose some people are more hardcore with their misanthropy and try to go no contact however they can, but me I am still a little charitable in this case, I really am, is because in spite of me being a misanthrope, I am not someone who really wants to see others fail, I am what you would call an unconditional humanitarian, I don't see hierarchies of status or seniority, all people get my unconditional respect, now honor may be a little different here, I am not gonna admire you just for being a decent human being, but I will respect you and still treat you with basic decency, I really try hard to assume innocence, grace and forgiveness out of everyone, yes that even includes my so called worst enemy, in fact because of this reason alone I tried going vegan before but let just say I lack the descipline, however I am trying to eat less in general and only eat more for the sake of nourishment, I guess practicing eating temperance or do longer bouts of fasting (been awhile since I fasted), like yes while I am very justice-driven, I still think everyone should be given and assumed innocence, in fact this is another complaint about modern society that I want to get outta way, we're becoming way too trigger-happy and easily-annoyed as a species: You can't say or do the wrong thing anymore, your ass is micromanaged 247, whether at work, thru your internet consumption or at school, you can longer do mistakes anymore, everything almost ticks people off and gets them demonically posessed with the anger or annoyance levels of a teenager, in fact teenagers are more mature in this regard in my opinion, adults get way too easily offended or annoyed, so much for "growing thick skin", though there also those morons who are overly logical or stoic and use it as a means of being an apatethic demoralizing asshole, but that's really an outlier here, I just wish people in general could be a little less reactive really that's all. I am really one graceful motherfucker if anything society should be more grateful for me than I should be grateful for society
And I guess lastly: None of society's shit surprises me anymore, I just see humanity as one big extension of the life experience. We are advanced apes who wear clothes, have technological expenditures and have conquered civilization of the planet, but we still have the same primal carnal urges as our ancestors: Greed, tribalism, lust, jocking for position, gluttony, overconsumption of resources, fighting for dominance, etc. People are just as predatory as other creatures, but of course we like to hide behind a facade about it. But this is where my contemporary stoicism and misanthropy overlap, by acknowledging that humanity is one big flaming pile of shit, nothing from humanity/society ceases to surprise, amaze or phase me anymore and in fact actually one of the best revenges you can get on this corrupt evil society is literally being happy and content, society wants for the misery trap to get to you, so if you're actually happy and content with your life, keep on expressing it, let those fools who are so focused on chasing power, status and superficial success keep dipping misery onto themselves and you keep one being joyful motherfucker, society has serious contempt for genuinely happy people and it shows
So is all like I am trying to cage it in all at once.
End of rant, thoughts?

Me and my ex broke up 6 months ago, i wont get into the details but i was not in the right state to commit to someone else and i left. We recently started talking again and i found out She has now moved on and is happy with someone else. But all of those feelings are coming back and i feel so much regret and hate for how i was to her ive told her how i feel and she told me she forgives me and understands how i feel but cant try again with me. This whole thing has sent me into a downward spiral, im drinking myself to sleep, crying constantly( im not a big cryer) A few nights ago we where with a mutual friends house and i ended up breaking down in front of her. She told me to lay down on her lap and I instantly fell asleep.
I know i didnt treat her right but ive looked back on it all and i would take all the bad things i said to her back, what should i do because i want to be with her but shes happy with who shes with.

Looking for friends to play classic with. Version of the game doesn’t matter, I’m open to both SoD and Cata (although I prefer SoD). I’d like to find a little group to level and run dungeons with :) I’m in Australia and playing on Oceanic servers (Remulos for Cata and Penance for SoD) but I’m also happy to move to a big pve NA server if needed :)

Hi.
I've tried my best to be as accurate as possible but from my memory this is how things have transpired:
My partner and I have been together for a few years. We got together during the early days of pandemic through talking online and became each others one person following the rule in our country at the time. I became unexpectedly pregnant and decided to keep the baby and we now have a 2 year old. I moved in to live with him so we could raise the baby together.
Maybe a year ago a woman who he had met on a dating site and been on a couple of dates with decided to move to our city. She asked for help from my partner with finding accommodation, lifts here and there etc. I think I had a couple of casual questions at the time about it but I honestly was ok with it. He went to meet her the first time in our city and actually took our son (I think i could have gone if I wanted but chose to stay home and catch up on cleaning or something like that). I was happy afterwards when he showed me a photo of her olding him. She looked nice. Nice people around us and in our city is a good thing in my book! I believed him that nothing was going on.
We all went on a few walks together. I liked her! Though I did see her as more my partner's friend.
Then one day my partner had plans to go on a walk with her and I asked if I could join and he goes 'ill ask her'. I did feel a bit taken aback, like... Shouldn't his partners wants come before hers? Why would she have a problem with me joining anyway?
She replied that she wanted to meet either my partner or my partner with our son. Did not want me to come. I was pretty upset and my partner ended up cancelling on her. We had to go on about our day as we have to care for our two year old but later on when he was asleep we talked about it again. I asked if I could see their messages and he said no. Maybe half an hour later I asked again and he said that he had deleted them which just made me cry my eyes out as it totally seemed like something a guilty person would do.
However with more talking he eventually said that she had some personal stuff going on that she just wanted to talk to him about. I suddenly felt better as if that was the case it was something I understood. I'm very much the kind of person that struggles to open up so just having one person you wanted to talk to about private matters is something I understood. I was a bit perplexed at my partner for not just saying that in the first place. I didn't need to know the details just that she had something going on.
I think they had one more meeting which I was ok with and asked how it went out of concern for someone going through something.
The next time they had plans to meet I asked again if I could go and was told no again. I became upset and asked if I was never going to be allowed to join them again. He cancelled.
They tried to arrange more meetings after that but id cry and he would cancel and now to my knowledge they do not meet at all.
The whole thing has left me feeling quite insecure.
Lately he has been meeting up with a female friend who he knows through a hobby. I have absolutely no doubt there is anything between them but friendship. She has a young baby with a partner of her own. I've met her before. Mostly they meet up and do their hobby. Yesterday he mentioned meeting her today and I had a sudden thought that maybe saying he is meeting up with her is his way of hiding meeting up with the previous woman because he knows I would probably choose not to come for his hobby. I impulsively asked if I could join and he said sure so I was relieved but said that actually I would try to get some gardening done as I haven't done any for a little while. This morning before he left, he asked again and then asked if I never wanted to go and I couldnt lie. He guessed I was worrying about the previous woman and became annoyed with me.
I feel like it's his fault for me being insecure about her for how he handled that situation.
So, if anyone reads that. Am i in the wrong?

112 Operator
911 Operator
A Story About My Uncle
Action Henk
Age of Wonders II: The Wizard's Throne
Age of Wonders III
The Amazing American Circus
Antagonist
Archangel: Hellfire - Fully Loaded
Ashampoo Photo Optimizer 7
Aurion: Legacy of the Kori-Odan
Awesomenauts Yogscast Pack - Coco Nebulon
Awesomenauts Yogscast Pack - Rocco
Awesomenauts Yogscast Pack - Skolldir
Awesomenauts Yogscast Pack - Ted McPain
The Bard's Tale
Battlerite DLC: YogYog Bear Mount
Bionic Commando
Blockstorm
Boundless
Breach & Clear
Broken Age
Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
Car Mechanic Simulator 2018
Chime Sharp
Citizens of Earth
ClusterPuck 99
Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!
Corridor Z
Crashlands
Crusaders of the Lost Idols - Elite Starter Pack
Crying Suns
Cursed Castilla (Maldita Castilla EX)
Dagon: by H. P. Lovecraft - The Eldritch Box DLC
Dandara
Deadly Sin
Deadly Sin 2
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
Defend Your Life: TD
Deponia: The Complete Journey
Draw Slasher
Drawful 2
Driftland: The Magic Revival
Dungeon of the Endless
Expeditions: Viking
Figment
Figment Soundtrack
The Final Station
Fury Unleashed
Go Home Dinosaurs
Going Under
Golf With Your Friends - OST
GRIP: Combat Racing Artifex DLC
Guns of Icarus Alliance
Guns of Icarus Alliance Soundtrack
Guns of Icarus Alliance Yogscast 2017 Costume Pack
Gurgamoth
Headlander
Hector: Badge of Carnage
Hexologic
HIVESWAP: Act 1
Idle Champions of the Forgotten Realms -- Celeste Starter Pack
The Interactive Adventures of Dog Mendonça and Pizza Boy
Iron Danger
Jurassic World Evolution - Deluxe Dinosaur Pack
Last Word
Legacy of Dorn: Herald of Oblivion
Lion Quest
Love Letter
Lust for Darkness
Lust from Beyond: M Edition
Main Assembly
Mimic Arena
Ministry of Broadcast
Mirage: Arcane Warfare
Moon Hunters
NASCAR Heat 2 - October Jumbo Expansion
NecroWorm
Neon Drive (Steam)
Neverout
Neverwinter Feywild Starter Pack
Nex Machina
No Time To Explain Remastered
Offensive Combat: Redux!
Old Man's Journey
On Rusty Trails
Orbital Racer
Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
Out of the Park Baseball 18
Pale Echoes
Pandemic: Roles & Events
Pandemic: The Board Game
Pathway
Pikuniku
Post Void
Radio Commander
Rakuen
Raw Data
Remnants of Isolation
Renegade Ops Collection
Roarr! Jurassic Edition
RPG Maker 2000
RPG Maker VX
Sanctum 2
Say No! More
Scanner Sombre
She Remembered Caterpillars
Shing!
Silence
Slinger VR
Space Gladiators: Escaping Tartarus
Spectrum
Steel Rats
Super Raft Boat
SuperLuminauts
Supraland
SYSTEM SHOCK: ENHANCED EDITION
Tales from Candlekeep: Tomb of Annihilation - Asharra’s Diplomat Pack
Tales from Candlekeep: Tomb of Annihilation - Birdsong’s Entertainer Pack
Tales from Candlekeep: Tomb of Annihilation - Dragonbait’s Dungeoneer Pack
Tales from Candlekeep: Tomb of Annihilation - Tales of Artus Cimber’s Explorer Pack
Tannenberg
Team Fortress 2 badges - Mandrew's Munificent Mug and Israphel's Eleemosynary Expression
Team Racing League
Telefrag VR
Telltale Texas Hold'em
Tesla Effect: A Tex Murphy Adventure
This War of Mine
Tiltagon
Tiny Echo
Tooth and Tail
Tormentor X Punisher
Toy Odyssey: The Lost and Found
Treasure Hunter Simulator
The USB Stick Found in the Grass
Wanderlust: Travel Stories
Wandersong
War for the Overworld - Yogscast Worker Skin
Wargroove
Warhammer® 40,000: Dawn of War® - Game of the Year Edition
Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide
WARSAW
We Are Alright
West of Dead
World to the West
X-Morph: Defense + European Assault, Survival of the Fittest, and Last Bastion DLC
Yoku's Island Express
Zeno Clash 2
Zombie Night Terror
I also have Humble Choice leftovers from the following that I haven't sorted through yet:
APRIL 2020 HUMBLE CHOICE (Driftland, Turok 2, Truberbrook, Shoppe Keep 2, Capitalism 2)
APRIL 2021 HUMBLE CHOICE (Main Assembly, Rock Of Ages 3, In Other Waters, Aven Colony, Simulcra I+II, Colt Canyon, Skully, Popup Dungeon)
AUGUST 2020 HUMBLE CHOICE (Hello Neighbor + Hide And Seek, Littlebig Workshop, American Fugitive, The Coma 2, A Case Of Distrust)
DECEMBER 2021 HUMBLE CHOICE (Beyond The Wire, The Survivalists, Lacuna, 8 Doors, Greak, Tohu)
FEBRUARY 2021 HUMBLE CHOICE (Moving Out, The Wild 8, Train Station Renovation, Werewolf The Apocalypse Heart Of The Forest, Lovecraft's Untold Stories, Iris And The Giant, Boomerang Fu)
JANUARY 2021 HUMBLE CHOICE (Total Tank Simulator, Song Of Horror, Vampire The Masquerade: Shadows Of New York, Deleveled, The Ambassador)
JUNE 2020 HUMBLE CHOICE (Supraland, Grid, The Messenger, Felix The Reaper, Remnants Of Naezith, Overload, The Stillness Of The Wind, The King's Bird)
MARCH 2021 HUMBLE CHOICE (WWE 2k, Hotshot Racing, Peaky Blinders, Cyber Hook, Pesterquest, Boreal Blade, Ageless)
MAY 2020 HUMBLE CHOICE (Xcom 2, Niche, Swords Of Ditto, Neoverse, Horace)
NOVEMBER 2020 HUMBLE CHOICE (Darksburg, Smile For Me, Rover Mechanic Simulator, Youropa, Townsmen)
OCTOBER 2020 HUMBLE CHOICE (Iron Danger, Autonauts, Shadows: Awakening, Fantasy Blacksmith, The Suicide Of Rachel Foster, Goat Of Duty, The Uncertain, Lightmatter)
SEPTEMBER 2020 HUMBLE CHOICE (Lethal League, Fun With Ragdolls, Evoland, Yooka-Laylee And The Impossible Lair, The Occupation, The Shapeshifting Detective)
SEPTEMBER 2021 HUMBLE CHOICE (Atomicrops, Heaven's Vault, Swag And Sorcery, Fort Triumph, Orwell: Ignorance Is Strength, Framed Collection)
My region is North America.

I have a few hours to kill before bed so I’m looking to find a friend! Currently caring for 3 kids, the parenting life is fun but tiring! I’m outdoorsy and sporty whilst also being very unfit haha. Don’t mind a bit of gaming, reading and true crime. Happy to chat about pretty much anything. I do prefer 25+ and don’t usually respond to ‘hey’ introductions. Send me a chat (not a message)!

i’ll give y’all the story. i’m sorry if i confuse anyone due to my typing or errors. basically when i was younger i did something and started seeing everything in 3rd person no not literally 3rd person but that’s how it felt and my body felt like it was floating in space but space was made out of thick water, i ended up sleeping it off about 3 hours later and the next day i felt weird like my body was moving without me in it i ended up telling my legal guardians at the time and within the midst of me telling them how i felt i started crying and hyperventilating and finally i was okay but still felt weird i later found out from my doctor it was anxiety and i lived with that anxiety for 3 years until about 4 days ago.
so about 4 days ago i was hanging out with my friends and started to feel that same feeling i got when i did that bad thing those 3 years ago i immediately started panicking a little and went home when i got home i felt better to an extent until the next day. i felt like i was falling, like every individual thing in the world was moving slowly at its own pace, i felt like i didn’t know who i was, i didn’t know my purpose, i couldn’t look myself in the mirror, i can’t leave the house, my arms and legs feel numb on the inside but on the inside i can feel everything, i constantly feel nauseous and sick. the only time i’m okay is when i’m asleep also forgot to mention when i wake up i’m still tired, i can’t concentrate on anything and when i do i start to visualize things that don’t exist.
i don’t know what’s wrong with me or if it’s anxiety but it scares me i wish i didn’t feel like this or think like this but i don’t know what to do about it and that makes me scared i’m scared of everything now i’m scared of myself at this point, i just wish i knew how to change that so i wouldn’t be stuck in fear.
again sorry if my typing confused anyone, and i apologize if my anxiety makes anyone else’s anxiety worse. if you know how to help feel free to respond or dm me. thank you

Before I get things started, I’d like to say that I(22M) am from a rather conservative country, I am a virgin, and this is my first relationship.
It’s been around 6 months since I started dating my 22F girlfriend, we have a 1000km distance, but we’re both students and are not financially independent yet. I just needed some advice as I just feel like this keeps going around my head and I’d like to articulate it better for myself while receiving advice from the more experienced people on this subreddit.
To start things off, This isn’t my girlfriend’s first relationship and she’s been in relationships for a while now, she started dating somewhat young (for my country at least, or maybe I have been too closed off to realize) and she said she’s had sex from a year or two and has had a few ex-boyfriends she’s mentioned to me before whom she slept with and she’s also had a few friends with benefits (I found out about this later)..
I knew she wasn’t a virgin before we started dating and It does not matter to me if she wasn’t a virgin, because she’s dating me and choosing me and I do have some self-confidence and am a bit secure with who I am to let it bother me much.
I love her a lot and would love if this relationship lasted a long time and even hope to marry her and build a home with her someday.
Around 2 months back, she told me that she did not want to sleep with me till we got married and when I first heard this, I was quite taken aback, especially since I didn’t think she cared much about that due to her history and I don’t care much about it either (I’ve had my share of mental issues and felt that it wouldn’t be right to date anyone with those level of issues, so decided to not date anyone till I met her..).
This turned into a somewhat large argument and we were supposed to have a few days free and were planning on talking and video calling for those days, but we ended up arguing a bit, I was just feeling very mentally messed up and trying to process everything and I did get a bit cold and kind of withdrew into myself.
When I asked her for the reason, she said she didn’t know and then later said that she wanted a serious relationship with me and “I’m not like her playboy ex-boyfriends”and that she “doesn’t want to introduce me as a person she slept with to her parents” and wants to “respect them by not sleeping with me” while these ideas aren’t too uncommon amongst the younger generation of my country, I didn’t think she would have such thoughts because then why do it with a few others and then not with me? (I don’t think I am entitled to sleep with her, nor do I feel it’s my right or anything like that, I wouldn’t want her to do anything with me if she doesn’t wish to, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I knew I forced someone into having sex with me when they don’t want to.)
When we went further into this discussion, she asked me if sex was something so important to me and if I just wanted her for her body and not for who she is and that kind of things, which made little sense to me, as why would I be in a LDR if I just wanted sex?
Anyways, after a while, she kept apologizing and was like if you want to we can do it. (and that wasn’t the conclusion I wanted, I just wanted her to tell me some real reason why she doesn’t want to do anything with me, I forgot to mention, but she called our relationship an online one and that hurt me quite a bit (she later said that she didn’t mean it that way and meant it as a LDR).
After a day or two, I kind of decided to just not think about it, because she just kept apologizing and I felt like I was hurting her by continuing the topic.
A few weeks after she talks about the house of some guy she was “more than friends with” I didn’t know about this before and thought she only had sex in relationships (again, my country is quite conservative and maybe I am too closed off** to have had considered this before) and that kind of got to me, because whenever she said anything about people wanting her only for her body and that kind of stuff, I kind of felt like she was coerced into sleeping with her ex-boyfriends (I understand that I might have tried to rationalize what was going on and made up stories), and imo a friends with benefits is where you just have sex and it’s quite consensual, to say the least.
Now, a week back, I just wanted to bring this topic up again and I kind of messed up with the timing as we both were quite tired and I hadn’t slept properly in a while.. at the same time, I was feeling a bit guilty because I did fantasize about sleeping with her when we met even though I agreed to her boundary.
She told me she was confused and why I still thought about this topic and stuff like that and she asked me if I “didn’t like anything else about her apart from her body” and “what would I do if she had any physical deformities and she couldn’t have sex with me”( she said this when we first spoke on this too), she then said that she isn’t a touch person like I am and me thinking about such things out of the blue is quite strange to her.
All this has kind of led me to feel like I am ugly (which I don’t feel anymore, apart from the occasional intrusive thought) and whether she doesn’t want to sleep with me because she thinks I’m not the right person for her or maybe she thinks I am not good enough and so on...
She later said that she doesn’t want to have sex because she hates her body and how she looks and that she is carrying trauma from her past relationships because her ex-boyfriends slept with her and left her, I obviously understand this.. till a few days later she again said that we wouldn’t have sex till marriage. So I don’t know what’s really going on in her mind. Is she uncomfortable with me?
I understand that this might be a “Me” problem or something I am doing wrong or just overthinking and over analysing things and ending up with a wrong conclusion. I’m just confused I guess.
TLDR: My long-distance girlfriend doesn’t want to have sex with me even though she has had sex before (She later (after a month, when asked) said it is because she hates her body*). I felt hurt by this and it makes me feel very unwanted. I love her and I want to be with her, but I keep thinking about this and it’s making me lose my self-esteem and confidence as I feel like I am not good enough.
*I felt not including this in the TLDR would make it seem as though I am only telling my side of the story
**by closed off I mean I’m quite introverted and just stay home a lot and my parents are somewhat strict too (her parents are much stricter btw)..
I don’t know what I should do, I love her and I understand where she’s coming from, but this is kind of eating at me, whenever I feel low or am having a slightly bad mental health day my feelings of being not good enough or not the right person or that I am not wanted keeps creeping back up and starts shaving away at my self-esteem and the more I think about it the worse I feel.
Should I just stop thinking about this and pretend everything is okay with me? Am I not understanding enough? Do you think I can do something better? Should I talk about this topic again? (my girlfriend has exams for a few weeks now, so I would most likely hold off the topic until then, at the same time I might go to see her in June and I don’t know how that would work if we have such a conversation before this.)

This a place to call out bad mods.
No threats or calls for violence.
If your are a mod who has been called out and wish to defend yourself or your subreddit then be prepared to debate.
If you are a mod that has been called out and you wish to defend the sub then be be prepared to present facts or a reasonable opinion why the post or comment is wrong. The burden of proof will be on you.
I stole these rules from badmods, it seems to be dead but our goals are closely alligned.
These rules are subject to change as this community develops.

I happen to be in a relationship for a period of 7 years now. It started when I was in college and everything was smooth. Though we did have the right amount of breakups in between, but it all made sense, to stick by her and rise in my career and she also felt happy. I am into teaching youngsters in a school and parallely have some online classes as well. She is currently doing her graduation and busy in college life and I too, owing to work, had to discount some of our time together to make up for the rise in career which I am currently seeing. I mean I am in the peak of my career(to be honest). The time which I am not giving her currently is due to the fact that I want her to give everything. I had a fairly poor financial background but there was never fancy dates etc but I do value her as something which is beyond the normal. I have made self made gifts too when I had financial problem so to make her feel warm and happy.
However there are certain instances which I have observed.
I. Once we were in a temple and like good guys, I wished she would be mine. The same day I found out she was texting her ex on the same temple premise. After a fight it was okay.
II. She will give her number to random guy she met on bus or train and confront me saying that I couldn't say no.
III. In the beginning of our relationship, I was little over protective like Baat mat karo kind of.. Which i later ended completely and have her full freedom.6 Montgs ago, she told me she was going to dinner with some friend in college. I said it's alright and didn't bother much.
IV. Recently during our recent meetup, she was behaving differently, like she mentioned that she is seeing someone but still kissing me while saying it. I thought she was joking and later she denied. But she will not make eye contact while saying that. During those days my work was coming too much in between and I trusted her so I didn't say anything.
V. Recently I came to know that she is dating a guy from college and they kissed and stuff. Initially I couldn't tolerate. Tried to talk to her but she won't listen to meet. I went to meet her and found out that it was too late. Now she is throwing everything about it on me. Like you didn't give time etc. Dude I had a future planned. I was working to have our first house together. Sent her pics of apartments etc. She said she announced it to me and hence it's not cheating. How should I take it.
I am currently not able to think straight and the thoughts of it is ruining everything. Even my career. I feel as if my left side of chest is having a sinking feeling. There is pain and it's never ending.
Please tell me what I should I do.
Ignore typos if any.

My husband (35M) and his ex wife (40F) were together for 5y and married for 1y. They have a daughter (7F) together, but she has been married before, has a teenage daughter with her first husband. My husband left her because it was a toxic relationship and he's a recovering alcoholic.
Me (32F) and my husband have been together for 4y, married for 2. We have no children together, but we raise his daughter half of the time - the custody is 50-50.
His ex wife and I don't get along - she's moved in on me in the past, she tried to split and has insulted me a few times. She's a textbook selfish narcissist and she's ruined any prospect of a relationship between us. I want absolutely nothing with her because she has 0 respect towards me, but basic decency and being civil towards her isn't enough for her. Apparently she's not happy that I'm not out there licking her arse like everyone else. In her latest outburst, she said I had to make an effort with her because things would get worse between us otherwise (??). She's very awkward with me in public, pretends she doesn't see me and literally hides from me, never says hello. She has yet to acknowledge that her ex husband remarried and that I am his wife. She treats me like I'm just this silly little side affair and that one day the spell will wear off and he'll see sense and get back with her.
She's always been a tease and flirty - nothing she ever does is coincidental and she's very calculating. I remember seeing a photo of her at her ex husband's house for his wife's birthday party and she was wearing a lace bodysuit with leather pants, whilst everyone else was dressed normally. Just teasing her ex husband. She always comes around my house to drop her daughter off with her t*ts out, skin tight clothes etc. She also messages nonstop about trivial things regarding their daughter and when she has her, she reports everything they do and what she's done in the day, sends photos and videos.
In December, she was diagnosed with type 2 Diabetes so she has lost some weight. Ever since, she's been grafting like mad to get my husband's attention. A few days ago, she asked us to drop my SD off at a birthday party, some friend of hers. Husband and SD get out of the car to look for the entrance and at the same time, she drove in. She saw me looking out the window in our car and drove forward to block me from her view and kept my husband chatting. She then parked up and got out of the car, she was in a crop top and cheeky denim shorts - she had everything on display. Kept my husband for as long as she could by making conversation and then she turned round to her car and got on all 4s to reach for the present that was on the passenger side.
Yesterday, my husband took SD to karate lessons which she arranged once a week near her house. She rang him up beforehand to ask if he was leaving SD there or waiting for her. He said he'd just wait in the car and that was the end of the conversation. She then went out for a run at the same time SD was meant to be in karate in the exact same place my husband was meant to be sat waiting for SD to sort of "bump into him".
I know there's nothing I can do about this, I have already spoken to my husband and told him how much it bothers me and that I feel disrespected, but I also don't expect him to control her behaviour because he can't. I know that my husband is married to me for a reason and not her etc etc.. but how do I detach from this? She makes my blood boil and it's so hard to just ignore the situation.. I don't know how to cope with this, it's so draining.
Tldr: my husband's ex wife flirts and teases him, and is always trying to get his attention through messages and skimpy outfits. It infuriates me and I don't know how to detach from the situation.

Introduction

In this post, we'll be discussing something called "Virtue Ethics." This is a normative theory of ethics that's most associated with Aristotle, though has in recent times experienced a resurgence of sorts from modern philosophers, some of whom have tweaked and modified it, and in doing so have created different branches on this tree of moral theory. We will be comparing these different flavors of Virtue Ethics to that of the New Testament's, pointing out where they're similar, as well as highlighting where the NT differs (and is actually superior) from the heathens' views.
I want to preface all this with a verse and a warning:

"Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ."-Colossians 2:8

The entire Bible, over and over again, warns against syncretism. It's a running theme throughout to condemn the practice, with this verse being one of the more explicit ones to do so.
Mapping the ideas of Pagans (and especially Greek philosophers) onto the Scriptures has always resulted in people severely misinterpreting the Bible, as looking at the Word of God through a Hellenistic lens is and always has been extremely innapropiate to the author's original intent.
Whenever Greek philosophy or ideas are referenced, they're always portrayed in a bad light or otherwise used to make a point. Examples of the latter could be found in the apostle Paul's writings, as he was a fully educated Roman citizen of his day, and so he made use of known Hellenestic philosophy and literature (that he would have been familiar with) by redefining their terms and ideas in a way that would be consistent with the theology of his own religion. The apostle Peter did the same within his own epistles whenever he mentioned "Tartarus," the abyss/prison for certain disobedient angels that rebelled against God, despite the fact that the word has its roots in Greek mythology and not Hebrew religion (though, the belief that there were a group of spiritual beings that rebelled against the highest authority in the heavens was one technically shared between the two ancient cultures; even if the parties involved were vastly different, as well as the contexts of the rebellion itself).
The affect Hellenstic philosophy has had on the way people think (even subconsciously) can still be felt to this day, and can be seen in the confusion modern "Christianity" has brought on through its adoption of Gnostic teachings such as Dualism or the inherently fatalistic views that many unknowingly hold due to the error of Classical Theism.
While yes, I will be commending the heathen (unbeliever) whenever they are right with their ideas as pertaining to this subject, I will also show where they are wrong.
Let's begin.

"What Is Virtue Ethics?"

First, we need to define some terms and point out the differences between this view and others within the larger debate of normative ethics.
There are three major approaches in normative ethics, those being: Consequentalism, Deontology, and Virtue Ethics. The following are definitions of the terms:
Consequentialism – a class of normative, teleological ethical theories that holds that the consequences of one's conduct are the ultimate basis for judgement about the rightness or wrongness of that conduct.
Deontology – theories where an action is considered morally good because of some characteristic of the action itself, not because the product of the action is good. Deontological ethics holds that at least some acts are morally obligatory regardless of their consequences for human welfare.
Virtue Ethics – theories that emphasize the role of character and virtue in moral philosophy rather than either doing one’s duty or acting in order to bring about good consequences. The virtue ethicist would argue that actions themselves, while important, aren't as important as the character behind them. To the virtue ethicist, consequences are also important, but they would say that good consequences ultimately flow from a virtuous character who has made virtuous decisions. Theories of virtue ethics do not aim primarily to identify universal principles that can be applied in any moral situation, instead teaching that the best decisions can vary based on context, and that there are only some actions that would be universally evil, only because those actions could never flow from a virtuous character in the first place (e.g., rape).
Aristotle's idea of ethics is in an important respect different from most people's, especially today. Heirs as we are to Kant’s idea of duty – there is a right thing that one ought to do, as rational beings who respect other persons – and to Mill’s idea of utility – the right thing to do is that which produces the greatest good for the greatest number – most of us see ethics as concerned with actions. "The function of ethics is to help me see what I ought to do in a given situation," the modern says. Aristotle’s approach was different. His ethic is not so much concerned about helping us to see what we ought to do, as about what sort of person we ought to be.
Aristotle was concerned with character, and with the things that go to make up good and bad character; virtues and vices. His sort of ethic does not look at our action to see if it fulfils our duty, or produces a certain outcome, such as the greatest good of the greatest number, and therefore merits approval. Instead, it looks at us; at the character behind the actions, to see whether we merit approval.
Comparing Virtue Ethics with philosophies such as Deontology and Consequentialism, we are able to divide ethical theories into two kinds; act-centered theories and agent-centered theories. Kant’s (Deontological) and Mill’s (Utilitarian) approaches are act-centered, because they concern themselves with our actions, whilst Aristotle’s is agent-centered because it concerns itself with the character of a person, which in his view was ourselves and our own dispositions that prompt our actions.
Both approaches have ardent present-day advocates, and so both are alive and well. Virtue Ethicists are dissatisfied with the answers ‘modern’ act-centered philosophy offers, and look for a more flexible, person-centered approach that takes more account of the subtle varieties of human motivation. Those in this camp see ethics as being about people – moral agents – rather than merely about actions. Of course, your actions matter. But, for Aristotle and his present day advocates alike, they matter as expressions of the kind of person you are. They indicate such qualities as kindness, fairness, compassion, and so on, and it is these qualities and their corresponding vices that it is the business of ethics to approve or disapprove.
All this seems simple and uncontroversial; there are two ways of looking at an action to evaluate it morally. You can take the action in isolation and judge it, or take the agent and judge him or her.
Virtue ethicists argue that act-centered ethics are narrow and bloodless. What is needed is a richer moral vocabulary than just ‘right and wrong’. There are subtle but important differences between actions that are good because they are kind and those that are good because they are generous, and those that are good because they are just. Likewise, there are subtle but important differences between actions that are bad because they are selfish and those that are bad because they are cruel and those that are bad because they are unfair. These, and many other, distinctions are lost when we talk simply about doing one’s duty, or promoting utility. Questions of motive and of character are lost, in these asceptic terms. Modern moral philosophy won’t do: it is cold, technical and insensitive to the many kinds and degrees of value expressed in human actions. Ethics is more than just thought experiments and hypotheticals about what would be the right course of action to take in any given situation we might conjure up from the comfort of our armchair. Ethics is about doing, and about context and character.

The Different Kinds of "Virtue Ethics"

Virtue Ethics has has been developed in two main directions: Eudaimonism, and agent-based theories.
Eudaimonism (Aristotle's view) bases virtues in human flourishing, where flourishing is equated with performing one’s distinctive function well. In the case of humans, Aristotle argued that our distinctive function is reasoning, and so the life “worth living” is one which we reason well. He also believed that only free men in the upper classes of society (i.e., the aristocrats) could excel in virtue and eschew vice, being that such men had greater access to the means in accomplishing this task as they had the wealth and resources to better perform their distinctive function of 'reasoning,' and thus "live well." For the Eudaimonian, inner dispositions are what one ought to focus on in order to cultivate virtuous traits, and thus a virtuous character.
In contrast, an agent-based theory emphasizes that virtues are determined by common-sense intuitions that we as observers judge to be admirable traits in other people. There are a variety of human traits that we find admirable, such as benevolence, kindness, compassion, etc., and we can identify these by looking at the people we admire, our moral exemplars. Agent-based theories also state that the motivations and intentions behind an action are ultimately what determine whether or not said action is actually virtuous. Whereas Eudaimonism understands the moral life in terms of inner dispositions or proclivities to act in certain ways (whether righteous or wicked, just or unjust, kind or cruel, etc.), agent-based theories are more radical in that their evaluation of actions is dependent on ethical judgments about the inner life of the agents who perform those actions, that is, what the motivations and intents are of a person.
[Note: While both Eudaimonism and agent-based theories are both agent-centered, Eudaimonism is not to be confused with an agent-based theory. Both branches concern themselves more with agents rather than acts themselves, but Eudamonism focuses on the self to improve whereas the agent-based theory focuses on others to improve.]

Common Critcisims Toward Secular Forms of Virtue Ethics

Firstly, Eudaimonism provides a self-centered conception of ethics because "human flourishing" (here defined as simply fulfilling our base function as humans, which is "reason" according to this view) is seen as an end in itself and does not sufficiently consider the extent to which our actions affect other people. Morality requires us to consider others for their own sake and not because they may benefit us. There seems to be something wrong with aiming to behave compassionately, kindly, and honestly merely because this will make oneself happier or "reason well."
Secondly, both Eudaimonism and agent-based theories also don't provide guidance on how we should act, as there are no clear principles for guiding action other than “act as a virtuous person would act given the situation.” Who is a virtuous person? Who is the first or universal exemplar?
Lastly, the ability to cultivate the right virtues will be affected by a number of different factors beyond a person’s control due to education, society, friends and family. If moral character is so reliant on luck, what role does this leave for appropriate praise and blame of the person? For the Eudaimonian, one ought to be born into a status of privilege if they wish to excel in being virtuous. For the proponent of an agent-based theory, one ought to be born into a society or family with good role models and preferably be raised by such, else they have no moral exemplars to emulate.

The New Testament's Virtue Ethic

The New Testament authors didn’t sit down and do a self-consciously philosophical exercise, for this was not what they were concerned with. They were concerned with giving practical instruction to disciples of the faith, and merely trying to express the ethical implications of their spiritual experience. That being said, we know the apostle Paul was familiar with the writings of Aristotle. We can actually identify places where Paul displays knowledge of Aristotle and incorporates some of the philosopher's ideas into his own epistles. Before we do this, however, it's important we refute common misnomers about what the Bible teaches concerning ethics in general.
You probably have heard many attack the ethics of the New Testament as being primitive and simplistic. "God dictates universal commands to follow: 'do not lie,' do 'not divorce,' 'do not insult.' And the only motivating factor is escaping hellfire and obtaining the reward of eternal pleasure." But in reality, this is a gross misrepresentation of the ethics laid out in the NT. I will argue the NT advocates for a form of virtue ethics, instead of claiming the NT contains a form of deontic ethics, as it is so often assumed.
Elizabeth Anscombe was one of the most influential virtue ethicists of the 20th century. Her work helped to revive virtue ethics in the modern era, however she also criticized the ethics of the Bible for promoting a form of ethics different than what Aristotle promoted:
"...between aristotle and us came Christianity, with its law conception of ethics. For Christianity derived its ethical notions from the Torah. (One might be inclined to think that a law conception of ethics could arise only among people who accepted an allegedly divine positive law..." (Modern Moral Philosophy, vol. 33, no. 124, 1-19)
We've already dealt with the issue of the Torah in another post. The Torah is not laying down moral laws, but describing justice in the form of ancient Near Eastern wisdom literature. But does the New Testament teach a deontic form of ethics? Anscombe might appear justified in her claim, as some "Christian" theologians have explicitly taught the ethics of the NT is deontic.
However, other theologians have argued the ethics of the NT is best characterized as a form of virtue ethics. In a study of the NT, we'll support this notion. As noted earlier, one of the central features of this approach to ethics is that the aim of ethics should be on living a virtuous life. Other forms of ethics focus on directing actions when confronted with a moral dilemma, but for virtue ethics every action is a moral or immoral action because all of our actions contribute or do not contribute to living a virtuous life. In other words, for a virtue ethicist, everything we do will contribute to living a fulfilled life. Now, the NT promotes a similar idea with a slight modification. The NT changes the distinctictive function and purpose for man in Eudaimonism from "reasoning" to loving God and others instead, and thus "living well" is changed from self-centered 'flourshing' (as defined by Aristotle) to glorifying God instead. The apostles taught everything we do contributes to living a life that glorifies God:

"Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God."-1 Corinthians 10:31
"And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him."-Colossians 3:17

So we see the same idea in Paul, that everything we do can be seen as a moral or immoral action. Everything we do should be seen as contributing to living a life that glorifies god or not. As a believer, the aim is not just doing good actions to avoid punishments, but to see everything we do as glorifying God. On secular virtue ethics, all our actions are either advancing a good life or not: nourishing your body contributes to living a good life. In a Biblical context: taking the time to properly dress contributes to living a good life, and not giving into the sin of sloth. So all our actions can be moral actions in this context, and so likewise for Paul and Jesus, all we do can contribute to living a life that glorifies God.
Since God made our bodies to thrive and enjoy life, we should nourish our bodies so we can thrive as God intended for our bodies to do, thus ultimately glorifying Him. Since we were created to experience and feel enjoyment, laughing and enjoying things throughout life glorifies God as well since we're experiencing emotions that God created to be experienced. Everything we do should be to glorify God, and often all that is is living our lives in the way that they were intended to be lived. Biblical ethics is very much more than merely performing right actions, but living a virtuous life that brings glory to God.
As Jesus said:

"Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind."-Matthew 22:37b

It is also important to focus on what it means to love, which is an important aspect of what it means to be a believer. Paul makes the radical claim that to love is the entirety of the law of God:

"For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself."-Galatians 5:14

Jesus also taught that to love God and love others were the two greatest commandments (Mark 12:28-31, Matt. 22:34-40). He also extends the commandment to love beyond one's brethren, and to love our enemies (Matt. 5:44). Loving those around us is central to what it means to be a believer (John 13:34; 15:12-17, Rom. 12:10; 13:8, 1 Cor. 13:1-8; 16:14, 2 Cor. 8:8, Eph. 4:2; 5:2, Phili. 1:9, Heb. 10:24, Jam. 2:8, 1 Pet. 1:22, 1 John 2:10; 3:23).
One might suggest this is no different than the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do to you," or a Kantian rule: "I ought never to act except in such a way that I could also will that my maxim should become a universal law." In other words, "to live well is to perform good deeds or actions and nothing more." But an important point about loving someone is it cannot be done through actions alone. For example, one could buy a gift for their spouse to cheer them up. However, one could perform this action merely because they value performing right actions without any love for the person. One could donate to charity because it is the right thing to do, and not because she cares for the people who would benefit. In such scenarios, they can be seen as idolizing moral laws, not necessarily caring about helping others.
But to love someone requires more than merely performing right actions. You cannot love someone and not care about who they are as a person and where they are heading in life. To love is to will the good of the other. Jesus chastised the Pharisees of his day for only performing right actions, but not loving their brethren in their hearts. His criticism follows Matthew chapter 22, where Jesus says the greatest commandments are to love. The implication is the Pharisees perform proper actions, but have the wrong motivations for doing so. James Keenan puts it like this:
"Essential to understanding this command is that we love our neighbors not as objects of our devotion, but rather as subjects; that is, as persons. Thus, we cannot love others only because God wants us to do so, since then we would love them as means or as objects and not as persons. We can only love one another as subjects, just as God loves us." (Jesus and Virtue Ethics: Building Bridges Between New Testament Studies and Moral Theology, pg. 86)
A critic may bring up that verses of the NT are still phrased as commands, and therefore the structure implies duties were the central aspect of Christian ethics. But the importance of duties is not foreign to Virtue Ethics. Instead of being central to the ethical framework, duties flow from a virtuous character. Virtues are active and have certain demands for which a person must fulfill in their active behavior.
According to Aristotle, knowledge of the virtues gives us practical wisdom in how to properly act. Duties flow from the understanding of the demands of virtues. To put it another way, for virtues to manifest in persons, they have certain demands that must be fulfilled. For the believer, the command of love flows from being virtuous and aligning oneself with the character of God. Commitment to the character of Christ, who perfectly carried out the will of the Father, allows us to perform right and proper actions.
The NT also contains lists of virtues the believer ought to emulate, the most famous of these is in Galatians chapter 5:
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law." (vss. 22-23)
Now, the connection with Aristotle cannot be more pronounced. The Greek phrase "against such there is no law" is almost identical to what we find in Aristotle's politics (3.13.1284a). It seems clear Paul is teaching a similar ethical framework to what Aristotle advocated for. Paul is teaching that the believing community ought to be persons who display key virtues, and that their conduct would not need to be regulated by a law. Instead, their character should be the standard others can measure themselves by. Romans chapter 2 is also a place we see references to Aristotle, where Paul notes that when Gentiles do what the law requires, they are "a law unto themselves" (vss. 14-15). In other words, they do not need to be told to act a certain way. They have the proper virtuous character that directs their actions, to do the good the law requires. Paul is advocating in Galatians that believers should think in a similar way.
So in Galatians 5, we have affinity with the teachings of Aristotle, and in other lists of virtues throughout the NT we see a similar idea, which is that Christians were meant to display virtues primarily (Rom. 5:3-5, 1 Cor. 13:1-8, Col. 3:12-17, 1 Tim. 3:2-3; 4:7-8, Jam. 3:17-18, 2 Pet. 1:5-8). From that, good deeds will properly manifest in our actions.
Anscombe made a great point on what the focus of ethics should be:
"It would be a great improvement if, instead of 'morally wrong', one always named a genus such as 'untruthful', 'unchaste', 'unjust'. We should no longer ask whether doing something was 'wrong', passing directly from some description of an action to this notion; we should ask whether, e.g., it was unjust; and the answer would sometimes be clear at once." (Modern Moral Philosophy, vol. 33, no. 124, 1-19)
Interestingly enough, Paul lays out a similar idea in explaining Christian ethics:

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you."-Philippians 4:8-9

In other words, the central aspect on living a Christian life was on what is virtuous, not on what is lawfully right or wrong. Right actions flow from whatever is honorable, true, and pure. Correlating with this is how Paul responds to the Corinthians who claimed that "all was lawful." Paul reminded them the emphasis is not on what is lawful, but on what is good for building a virtuous character:

"All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not."-1 Corinthians 10:23

One's main focus ought to be on what is good, not on laws that dictate behavior.
One of the key aspects of Virtue Ethics is the idea we ought to learn from virtuous teachers and imitate them. A virtuous character is obtained by imitating what a virtuous person does. This parallels a key aspect of Christian ethics. Imitating Christ was (and still is) crucial to living a virtuous life:

"For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:"-1 Peter 2:21

Paul says in Romans 8:29 that Christians were predestined "to be conformed to the image of his Son." Jesus often taught his followers to do as he does (Matt. 16:24, Mark 8:34, Luke 6:40; 9:23, John 13:15, 34). Paul says in 1st Corinthians 11: Be ye followers [i.e., imitators] of me, even as I also am of Christ" (vs. 1). Hebrews 13:7 says to imitate the faith of the patriarchs. 1st Thessalonians 2:14 says to imitate each other. And jesus taught to imitate the good Samaritan from his parable (Luke 10:37). Imitating virtuous teachers was key for Christian ethics.
Aristotle tended to compare acquiring virtues with that of learning a practical skill, like playing an instrument or learning how to become a builder. Such practical skills are best picked up when trained by a master of that particular skill, because a teacher can always provide more insight through lessons they learn from experience. For example, an expert salesman can provide examples from his experience of what works with specific customers that a sales textbook could never provide. Many professions today require on-the-job training or experience before even hiring an applicant. The reason is: experience is key to learning a profession. Merely acquiring knowledge from a textbook or an instruction manual is often insufficient to master a skill, so why would mastering the skill of virtue be any different?
In the NT, a believer is to see the world through the eyes of Christ and to love as he loved. One cannot learn how to be a virtuous person without knowing what that life would look like. A key component of Christian theology is that the Messiah perfectly represented the Father and His will on earth, to show us how to properly live as God intended for man. This central tenet of the NT aligns well with agent-based theories of Virtue Ethics, and modifies it so that the person of Jesus Christ is the universal exemplar that one is meant to emulate. We are called to imitate him through our actions, thoughts, and desires, and to conform ourselves to the way he lived. As Paul said:

"I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me."-Galatians 2:20

If learning from Christ is key, we should briefly take a look at the Sermon on the Mount, which is said to be one of Jesus' most important series of teachings. Daniel Harrington notes:
"The sermon begins with nine 'beatitudes' (see 5:3–12) in which Jesus declares as 'happy' or 'blessed' those who practice certain virtues, and promises them an eternal reward and the fullness of God's kingdom." (Jesus and Virtue Ethics: Building Bridges Between New Testament Studies and Moral Theology, pg. 62)
Jesus laid out what a life for those that follow him look like in detail. One ought to be merciful, pure in heart, a peacemaker, thirst for righteousness, etcetera (Matt. 5:2-10). The Sermon does not merely include what right actions are, but includes sections on proper desires. Not only is it wrong to murder, but it is wrong to desire to murder or wish ill on someone (Matt. 5:22). Avoiding adultery is good, but one also should not covet after another man's woman in their heart (Matt. 5:28). In other words, merely avoiding immoral actions is not enough. One must also not desire vices. A believer is called to desire what is good.
The Sermon is not necessarily laying down universal moral commands. For example, Matthew 5:9 says, "Blessed are the peacemakers," but this doesn't imply absolute Pacifism, as it would contradict passages in the Old Testament where it explicitly says there is a time for war (Ecc. 3:8). The point of the Sermon is to teach what a virtuous life ought to look like. A follower of Christ ought to use reason to know what is proper to do in various circumstances. For example, in Matthew chapter 6, Jesus offers guidance on how one ought to pray by presenting the Lord's prayer (vss. 9-15). This is a model of how to pray. It's not a command for followers to always pray in this exact way.
In reality, the Sermon on the Mount mixes in exhortations, parables, hyperbole, declarations, commands, etc. It is best understood as displaying what a virtuous life ought to look like. It's not a law code. Building on this, it's important to understand a proper action is context sensitive. Under Virtue Ethics, one should not necessarily apply a universal maxim to every situation. Sometimes the proper action will depend on what is at stake, who is involved, what is the background, etc. Aristotle advocated against the idea there were fixed universal laws that dictate actions, and instead he argued the right action would depend on the circumstances one finds themselves in. Although the ethics of the NT may be a bit more strict, it still places an emphasis on being sensitive to the context of situations.
In 1st Corinthians chapter 8, Paul lays out instructions on how to deal with meat that has been sacrificed to Pagan idols. Instead of stating an absolute prohibition against meat sacrificed to idols, Paul instructed Christians to use reason to come to the proper ethical decision based on context. In other words, the right action is not determined only by a law. Instead, the Christian had to make the proper decision based on the context: if eating caused another to stumble, then you ought to abstain; if not, then there's no harm done. The value of the action depends on the context.
A Deontologist might reply that there's still a universal law given here: that one should always abstain if it's going to cause another to stumble. This objection can be addressed by asking: how are we to know if eating the meat will cause another believer to stumble? To answer such a question, one must be sensitive to the context, which in this case would be knowledge of the fellow believer and your relation to him. It is the context that determines the right action, not a universal law. Moreover, Paul states that the primary goal for the believer should be to love (1 Cor. 13). The first consideration is once again not the rightness of action, but having love for one another. From this, knowledge of the proper action will follow.
Paul often explains that living a proper life as a believer will take work and practice. He reminded Timothy to attend readings, practice what these things mean, and keep a close watch on himself (1 Tim. 4:13-14). Elsewhere, he directs that all believers must work on their faith (Phili. 2:12). Beyond this, he also noted that not all Christians would have the same gifts, and to accept that this was normal (1 Cor. 12). For some, certain things may be a hindrance, whereas for others it is acceptable (Rom. 14:2-4). What matters is that we love and build one another up (1 Thess. 5:11). Right actions flow from love and knowledge of virtue. Rules are not the primary motives that dictate our actions; rules are secondary in this regard.
An interesting case can be studied with regards to divorce in the Gospels. Jesus preaches against divorce (Mark 10:7-9) and it is often interpreted to mean "divorce is always wrong, regardless of circumstances." However, it should be noted the prohibition on divorce is not a universal law. The context can affect whether or not a divorce is permissible. Jesus says that one can divorce over sexual immorality. Paul also has a situation where divorce is permissible, namely if one spouse is an unbeliever and wishes to leave (1 Cor. 7:15). The implication one can derive is divorce is not ideal, but there are circumstances where it may be the proper action to take. Given the other features of Christian Virtue Ethics we already covered, the proper action to take will depend on the circumstances and what the virtuous agent thinks is the most loving thing to do. A universal prohibition on divorce is not a Christian ethic. Instead, one ought to discern the proper action from circumstances. However, it's clear in most cases divorce would not be the virtuous thing to do.
Building on this, it's important to note that within NT ethics, certain acts are always wrong. For example, idolatry and sexual immorality are always wrong (1 Cor. 10:14, Col. 3:15, 1 Pet. 4:13). There are no possible scenarios where it would be okay to rape, because such an act would never flow from a virtuous character. But this concept is not foreign to theories of Virtue Ethics. Aristotle noted that for some actions, no qualifications could make them virtuous. Actions such as rape or murder are always wrong, because they would never flow from a virtuous character. So it's not as if a Virtue Ethicist cannot claim that some actions are always wrong. They simply are qualified as being unable to flow from virtue, whereas actions like lying or waging war could be considered virtuous for the right reason.
Now, despite Christian Virtue Ethics having many similarities with Eudaimonism (Aristotelian ethics), there are also numerous differences beyond what we've already noted. One of the deficiencies of how Aristotle lays out his ethical theory is that it is essentially an all-boys club. Aristotle writes mainly to aristocratic men, excluding women and slaves. In his view, women were inferior to men and slaves lacked the necessary rational faculty. But the Christians rejected this mentality, as the teachings of Christ and the apostles were available to all (Matt. 28:19). Paul said, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus" (Gal. 3:28). Peter wrote that all Christians were part of the priesthood of Christ (1 Pet. 2:5). Jesus had women followers (Luke 8:2-3), and they were entrusted with delivering revelation (Mark 15:40–16:8). What we find throughout the NT is a radical change to how women were viewed in the ancient world. Paul is also likely building on Aristotle's household structure and refining it. David deSilva says the household codes of the NT are "...following the pairs laid out as early as Aristotle to such a degree as to suggest that these were standard topics in ethical instruction" (Honor, Patronage, Kinship & Purity, pg. 231). But Paul adds an important preface: submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ (Eph. 5:20-21). DeSilva says:
"...husbands, we cannot then ignore the distinctively Christian addition they bring to this arrangement; husbands are to be subject to their wives as well." (Honor, Patronage, Kinship & Purity, pg. 233)
Thus Paul doesn't break down the traditional perspective on the structure of the family, but he does add the idea that we all must submit to each other in reverence, love, unity, and cooperation because all are equal before God. There is no explicit mention in the NT calling for the abolishment of slavery, but it should be noted that Paul taught that slaves should be seen as equals. In the letter to Philemon, Paul is clear that his slave is no longer "as a servant, but above a servant, a brother beloved" (vs. 16). Thus, within Christian ethics class distinctions were supposed to evaporate. All were brothers and sisters of one family.
An important aspect of Christian ethics is that it wasn't a standalone ethical theory. It's embedded in the larger Christian worldview. The ethical framework is dependent on Christian doctrines. For Aristotle, his ethical theory is for men who were raised well. This is why these specific men desire to be virtuous and perform right actions. As for why the believer does good and desires to be virtuous, it's not because one was raised well, but because they have been activated by the power of God's Spirit (John 3:6, 1 Cor. 12:13). For believers, the reason as to why we desire to be good and virtuous is because the Spirit of God has regenerated us. He loves us so we can love others (1 John 4:19). One is meant to look to the life of Christ and what he has done by dying on the cross, to know that we are loved and forgiven. This in turn is meant to activate a good life, having seen what we have gained and been forgiven of. He calls and activates us to do similar to those around us. This is a more open system for people of all groups and classes. One only has to call upon the name of the Lord to be included. It does not require a specific gender or to be raised a certain way.
The goal of Aristotelian ethics is to achieve 'eudaimonia.' However, within the Bible the goal is as the Westminster Shorter Catechism puts it: "Man's chief end is to glorify God, and enjoy Him forever." Since the central aspect of Biblical Eschatology is that humans will continue on forever in resurrected bodies, the aim of ethics is more than living a good life presently. Living a good life now is important, but it was only one aspect in the Christian worldview. Humans are meant to live beyond this life, so the aim is also about building virtuous souls that will continue on. The importance of this is more crucial than it may seem at first. Paul said that we must all appear before judgment, so that "every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad" (2 Cor. 15:10).
Being a virtuous person requires integrity, because one will still have to answer to God after death. If one can commit an evil act and no one finds out, then from the outside perspective he or she may still appear virtuous. Culturally speaking, the ancient world was very different from our own. All wrongdoings centered around public honor and shame. One did good to receive public honor, and one did not do what was bad to receive public shame. Right and wrong were connected to one's public honor and shame in the ancient Greco-Roman world. Thus good and evil were public ideas, not personal ideas. Ethical demands were grounded in the community in one's public appearance
The Biblical idea of an omniscient God who cared about our ethical status laid a foundation for integrity and personal guilt to emerge. Now one ought to do good because he is beholden to God, not just the community. Believers are to remain focused on God's approval and on the actions that lead them, regardless of the world's response. This lays down fertile ground for integrity to emerge. So the Biblical worldview has another important element built in that encourages ethical behavior, regardless of the honor it brings. One ought to do good because of a commitment to God not, because it might bring honor to one's name publicly.

Implications for Preterists

Paul believed that the Second Coming would happen in his generation, and prescribed certain things in the NT on the basis of that belief. An example of an exhortation that would no longer apppy to us today would be 1st Corinthians 7:24-29, where Paul argues that the times him and his fellow Christians were in called for celibacy, being that the Lord was fast approaching. It wasn't a sin if you did get married, of course; it was just harder to serve the Lord in this context if you had a family to worry about. Thus, Paul encouraged being single.
So, we need to be careful when reading the NT and determining what prohibitions or exhortations are still applicable to us today. Context is key.

We got married Friday the 10th of May!
On the day, everything that could go wrong in the morning, went wrong. My HUSBAND had to take our dog to a dog hotel to spend the night, he calls me from the car almost in tears that he didn't like dropping him off. He was supposed to stay there one night cause we were sleeping at the venue. We agreed, he turned back to pick him up.
My hair ended up not being exactly what I wanted but make up was on point!
My husband had to drop the cake off at the venue and calls me again, that our pillars and vases for the ceremony had not been delivered.. Call the company and it got delivered. My friend did our flowers and they were INSANELY BEAUTIFUL!
When I arrived at the venue to finish getting ready/take getting ready pics, they were still cleaning it... Room was lovely, photographer was already there cause I was late...
The little cakes that were supposed to be served with the cake/coffee and wine when guests arrived were not there... Call my mom, who was still at the hotel, to bring them from the bakery nearby.
She came and brought the cakes. Everything was ok... I thought.
We got ready and had some lovely pics. 30 minutes before the ceremony, my husband calls me, "I can't find my shoes. Did we bring them?". We slept at his parents the night before and had brought all our stuff there.. I was like "shit, I think they're still in the closet at home". He then had to drive home cause everyone was already at the venue. We live close by but it's spring and here in our province in the Netherlands, there is a lot of water and people sail a lot. So of course every bridge was open.. I sent down one of my bridesmaids to tell the officiant that he was late.
Finally, he's there (15 min late) and we can get started.
At this point I was sweating.. Music started and the bridesmaids start crying. They walk out and I'm getting ready to walk out and then it hits me.. Shit, it's happening!
I walk out (we got married outside on the water).. Everyone is looking, sun is shining, husband is crying, EVERYONE is crying actually and everyone and everything looks so gorgeous. I start crying.
Ceremony was so sweet. Our 2 year old was walking around during. Sat between us inbetween her little shenanigans and honestly it was so cute. Everyone loved it, including us.
After the ceremony was toasts and cake and pics. The venue was perfect. A beautiful renovated farm with grass and water all around. The boys played football and the girls on the swings. Couldn't have asked for a more perfect location. So family friendly and that was our main priority. Celebrating with our whole families.
Dinner was incredible and the "afterparty" was out of this world.
Everything went wrong but nobody noticed. Everyone loved it so much. People still messaging me saying how they are still on cloud 9 after the wedding.
A lot of things went wrong, it was not "perfect" but it was perfect for us.
Everyone says the day goes by fast and oh my god is that true. When we were welcoming the evening guests, I was like "what the fuck, it's already almost over". I loved and enjoyed every damn moment. Wish I could relive the whole thing.
Our photographer already sent a few sneakpeaks and the pics look incredible. I can't wait to see the rest.
I'm leaving the sub! Thanks for all the good advice. Good luck to everyone with wedding planning and ENJOY THE DAY CAUSE IT'S OVER IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE!