Dark poop stomach ache

In the ceaseless whisper of rain against the windowpane, I find a mirror for my soul’s eternal stain. A relentless drizzle, a quiet, unending moan, Mirroring the sadness that has woven into my bones.
Through days that merge into shades of gray, The colors of the world faded, frayed. The laughter of others, a distant, foreign sound, In the vast sea of my sorrow, I am bound.
Each morning awakens with a heavy sigh, The sunlight filtered through a cloud-heavy sky. Hope is a bird with clipped wings, Unable to soar, no song to sing.
The crowd's jovial tide feels alien, apart, Their smiles foreign artifacts, not of my heart. I wander through hours, untouched by time, In a landscape barren, in a silent chime.
Friendships are like leaves on the wind, Drifting close, then away again, un-pinned. Their words of comfort, light as air, Fail to touch the depths of despair.
The night brings no respite, only deeper shades, In the quiet, the hidden, my sadness parades. Dreams are windows to a gloom-ridden soul, Where dark thoughts swirl, an uncontrollable shoal.
Perpetual sadness, my unwelcome guest, Lingers in my chest, an eternal unrest. A fog that never lifts, a storm that never breaks, A heart that feels, a soul that aches.
Yet in this constant melancholy state, I find a strange companion, a twist of fate. For in the depth of perpetual night, I’ve grown to know myself, in the absence of light.

Author’s Note:
Upvotes and comments go a long way in helping me reach a larger audience <3
First
Inside GB-2
“Huh, that wasn’t there before,” Ron said, pointing to a new hole in the wall – another passageway.
Henry turned to look where Ron pointed. Sure enough, there was a new doorway. It must’ve been a section that opened after they restored the power. “Huh, yeah. Let’s check it out.”
He went through, finding a short hallway past it and another room just beyond. Henry signaled for his team to form up, preparing to breach. As they stepped in, they found themselves in a brightly lit room filled with various types of furniture – empty pedestals, comfortable-looking single couches, and empty desks with opened cabinets.
Henry stepped further into the room, eyeing the oddly arranged furniture. The single couches were lined up in neat rows, all facing the same direction – towards the empty desks. It was like some sort of waiting room, but for what?
“Is it just me, or are these couches set up weird?” Isaac asked, voicing the question on everyone’s mind. “I mean, who lines up a bunch of single couches like this?”
“Strange, indeed,” Sera agreed. “They seem arranged as though for spectators, yet naught lies before them to behold.”
Like a movie theater, Henry thought. However, there weren’t any screens or holograms to watch. If there was a clue, it would probably be within the couches themselves.
Dr. Anderson approached one of the desks. “Perhaps this was some sort of office or workspace? The desks and cabinets certainly suggest that.”
Isaac then decided to touch one of the seats, eliciting no reaction. He pushed further, sitting down on one of them. At that point, the couch began to adjust its form to better suit Isaac’s envirosuit, as if able to optimize its comfort for the user. Then, a nozzle slowly stretched up from the seat’s headrest area, stopping just short of Isaac’s neck. “Woah!” Isaac bolted up as the nozzle bonked against his helmet.
“Neural interface, maybe?” Henry wondered. “I think we should leave this to the researchers… unless you wanna volunteer as a lab rat?”
“Hell nah,” Isaac vigorously declined the offer. “Hey, there isn’t anything on my helmet is there?”
Henry dusted off the back of Isaac’s helmet with his glove. “Nope, you’re clear. Just gotta hope it ain’t grey goo.”
He could see the dread and uncertainty through Isaac’s visor. Henry gave him a pat on the shoulder. “Well, think about it this way: if it really was grey goo, it would’ve gotten to us – or the Spiranids, for that matter – long ago. C’mon, let’s secure the next room.”
With a nod, Isaac fell in line behind Henry as they moved towards the doorway leading to the adjacent room. Peeking inside, it couldn’t be further from the rest of the room’s they had encountered so far; not at all what they could’ve possibly expected inside an ancient, high-tech alien facility. It was expansive, with a layout that reminded Henry of a high-end restaurant. Comfortable booths lined the walls, while tables of varying sizes filled the central space. The furniture looked almost human – perhaps even indistinguishably so.
The room was tinted with a soft, cozy yellow light. The warm and inviting ambiance felt soothing compared to the clinical feel of the previous areas. The lighting, combined with the plush booths and elegant tables, gave Henry a nostalgic impression.
“Well, I’ll be damned,” Ryan remarked. “Think they got any cheesecakes?”
If it wasn’t for the alien decor and helping of sleek devices scattered around the room, Henry would’ve thought they were back home. Hell, there was even a bar, filled with exotic liquors that could probably fetch millions at an auction – or give them the trip of their lives. Beside it however was something unusual. Where he might’ve expected a path leading to the kitchen, he instead found a wall with a slight, rectangular-shaped recess that was just big enough for a tray.
He glanced at Isaac, who returned a knowing look. “Replicators,” Isaac said.
Henry smirked. “Personally, I’m partial to synthesizer, but to each their own.”
They gathered around the wall, which didn’t seem to respond to their presence. Taps on the wall didn’t seem to do anything, either. Henry considered probing further, but decided against it. “Alright, let’s not take any chances. We’ll make a note of this for the research teams to analyze later. Let’s keep looking around.”
Henry split apart from the others, pairing with Ron as they continued to walk around the room. They soon came across another doorway on the far side of the room, which opened up into a short corridor that led into multiple sets of doors. Each had a symbol on the wall beside the doors – one that depicted the basic figure of a person.
Ron pushed open one of the doors, taking a peek inside. “Looks like even the Gatebuilders needed restrooms.”
Finally! “Alright, let’s take a quick break here. Bring everyone else over.”
Thankfully, the amenities within were easily comparable to those of modern society. The toilet looked like a toilet, and the sink resembled a sink. Even in a space as mundane as this though, the Gatebuilder’s technology was evident: self-cleaning surfaces and enough technology to put a high-quality Japanese bidet toilet to shame. At least, that was just from the look of things. Henry didn’t think now would be the best time to check whether the restroom had ass-washing robots or not.
After a few minutes, Henry regrouped with the rest of the team around a central table in the ‘restaurant’. Dr. Anderson was already present, his archaeological kit opened and a spread of alien items organized on the table.
“Ah, Captain!” Dr. Anderson noticed him approaching. “We found cabinets that weren’t empty. Most of the artifacts appear to be personal effects.” He held up a necklace, emphasizing his point. “Jewelry, memorabilia, and some other artifacts that I – admittedly – can’t quite describe.”
Dr. Anderson pointed his pickup tool at a small disc laid out on a padded mat. “It hasn’t shown any active properties yet. It’s rather peculiar; it seems to be a solid disc. Lightweight, unblemished surface, no visible markings or etchings.”
“Have you tried touching it directly?” Henry asked.
Dr. Anderson frowned, manipulating the claws of his pickup tool. “Well, not directly.” Catching the implications in Henry’s query, he continued, “I’ve checked for radiation, toxins – all clear. While I’d advise against direct contact, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t the least bit curious.”
Henry nodded. Yeah, the Doc was probably right, but what was discovery without risk? He reached out and picked it up, rotating it in his hands. As his gloved fingers brushed against the surface, the disc suddenly emitted a soft glow.
Henry flinched slightly, almost dropping the disc in surprised. As he fumbled with it, the disc seemed to respond to his touch. Suddenly, a series of objects materialized on the table, appearing out of thin air.
“Oh, shit!” Ron exclaimed. “It just… spawned a bunch of stuff!”
Henry stared at the new items. Several containers, probably holding some kind of food, were still sealed tight and impossibly effective at insulating its contents. It was crazy to think that the food inside might still be hot after who knows how long.
Next to the containers was a bracelet. Possibly normal, possibly enchanted or integrated with technology they couldn’t hope to understand. There was also a bottle of some bright blue liquid – probably for drinking, but there was no way to be sure until Perdue tested it. And then there was the picture, showing a strikingly human couple, holding each other underneath a gorgeous alien sky. It reminded him of memorabilia people would sometimes keep in their wallets, though why humans were there was a mystery.
The last object the disc spat out was a thin, transparent sheet. Coincidentally, it was about the same size as a smartphone. If he had to guess, it probably had the same function as one, too.
“Incredible,” Dr. Anderson gawked at the items. “The disc must be the Gatebuilders’ version of a wallet, somehow using dimensional storage technology!”
“Akin to the Holding Bags,” Kelmithus noticed. He peered into his own Holding Bag, his expression indicating that he was connecting the dots. “Fascinating!”
Dr. Anderson then inspected the image, his face reflecting the same confusion Henry felt when he first saw it. While they continued to sort through the items, Henry explored the sheet further. The moment he tapped the screen, a holographic interface sprung into existence above it.
What he had initially thought was a simple hologram was something far more advanced, almost indistinguishable from reality itself. Almost instantly, they were surrounded by mountains and valleys, details springing up to form a realistic, three-dimensional map.
It was like a pocket holodeck. The only anchors the projection had were the various icons and pockets of text floating around – and the fact that the hologram was transparent enough for him to see his surroundings and his teammates.
Sera seemed to be the most shocked out of all of them. He couldn’t blame her. The sight was surprising enough for himself, who was even familiar with the concept through sci-fi; how much more alien would it seem to someone from – effectively – the past?
“I’ve not beheld such a spell… ever!” she exclaimed softly, pausing to gather her thoughts. “Hold on…” she continued, pointing to the distant peaks. “Why, yon mountain range! Does it not strike you as familiar?”
“Huh?” Ron squinted at it. “Does it?”
“No, yeah, it does!” Isaac said. “Shit, uh, is that the Ovinne Mountain Range?”
Henry brought up the file for the Ovinne Mountain Range on his visor, comparing it to the hologram. “Huh, yeah, it is. What’s a map of that doing in here, though?”
Dr. Anderson raised his hands in the air and spread them apart, mimicking a zoom. Lucky for them, the alien tech seemed to understand what they were going for. Now up close and in full detail, the Ovinne Mountain Range dominated the room. Somewhere in the mountains, an icon that looked like a pair of glasses sat right on top of a Gatebuilder tower, barely poking out of the mountainside.
Ryan crossed his arms as he scrutinized the hologram. “Is this what, Find My iPhone?”
“Hmm… rather likely,” Dr. Anderson agreed. “This device must be some sort of Locator.”
“Locator, huh?” Having this clue was an incredible breakthrough, but he noticed something else. “And right where the Ovinne Mountain Campaign’s supposedly taking place, at that.”
“Indeed, that you mention it, such alignment is surely noteworthy,” Kelmithus remarked. His voice took on a more excited note, “Be it fate, perhaps?”
Henry smirked. “Hah, you’re sounding a bit like Sera, now. Well, looks like fate’s telling us where to go next. Let’s pack this up and head back.”
They carefully stowed the various artifacts in their holding bags, Henry holding on to the Locator. They made their way back to the locker room where they first entered, everyone excited for the next step in their mission.
Henry stepped through the airlock first, emerging on the other side. As he did so, a faint sound caught his attention. It was distant, muffled, but definitely not a sound that belonged to this facility. He wanted to take off the envirosuit, but it seemed that had to wait.
Ron came through the airlock after him. “Bro, you think –”
Henry held up a hand, stopping him short. He raised his weapon, picking up on the ‘something’s not right’ vibe.
Activating his infrared vision and using the laser mounted on his M7, Henry searched for signs of thermal distortions, just like he’d done back at Duke Vancor’s mansion. Ron did the same. As the rest of the team emerged from the airlock, they quickly caught on to the situation. Without a word, they joined them in securing the room.
After clearing the locker room, Henry signaled to move on to the lab next door. It was just as empty as the locker room, but now the sounds were more audible, definitely coming from the hallway just outside. Instructing his team to hold still, he crept toward the doorway to investigate.
He peeked around the corner, and felt his stomach drop. There, in the main hallway, was a group of soldiers. They were decked out in distinctive black armor and cloaks. They had no identifiable markings or insignia on their armor, but it was obvious – these were Nobians.
Henry pulled back, returning to his team. “Contact outside. At least a dozen Nobians securing the hallway.”
Ron’s expression grew serious. “Shit. Any idea on their entry point?”
Henry positioned himself behind a desk, aiming his weapon at the doorway. “Probably the same way we came in.”
“Main corridor’s the only play, huh?” Ryan said.
The main hallway only had one line of sight, and it just happened to be the only way out. Well, the only one they could reasonably access. The facility probably had other exits or fancy teleporters, but they’d already scoured the area for the former and wouldn’t be able to figure out the latter.
“Dozen hostiles doesn’t seem like a lot,” Isaac pointed out, taking out another Black Hornet from his bag. “We’re still good on ammo, too.”
Ron shook his head. “Dozen? Yeah, a dozen that we can see.”
“Owens is right,” Henry agreed. “We can’t confirm their numbers outright. If I had to guess, it would probably be at least fifty. Manageable, but I’d prefer that to be our last resort.”
“How might we fare with a disturbance?” Sera offered.
Kelmithus gripped his staff. “I might conjure an echo of noise distant hence. It shan’t last, but it can afford us enough time for our escape.”
Kelmithus’ plan seemed like it could work, but only if the Nobians didn’t know they were here. “No,” Henry disagreed. “They’ve seen our MRAPs outside. We’d get surrounded.”
“How about negotiation?” Dr. Anderson suggested, a hopeful note in his voice.
“Negotiation? With the Nobians?” Kelmithus questioned.
They all knew what the Nobians were like. It really did come off as a ridiculous idea, but what if Dr. Anderson was right? The archaeologist defended himself, “I know, I know. However, we have yet to confirm their hostility, and it would not serve us well to initiate hostilities with the Nobians.”
Taking in the silence as contemplation, he continued, “If talks break down, we hold our ground here. It’s not ideal, but we’ll control the engagement area and prevent them from flanking us.”
Henry reviewed the situation again. 12 hostiles, but they should expect the worse, so at least 50 hostiles plus failed negotiations. Holding the only way out, they were likely spread out between the hallway, the cave system, and possibly even the forest outside. Dr. Anderson’s plan was solid, but he had a few minor qualms. In particular, holding the line meant possibly exhausting themselves in a battle of attrition.
“Alright. We’ll open with negotiations. I’m skeptical, but it's worth a shot. Should that fail, we can’t engage in a drawn-out conflict. We’ll disrupt their positions and quickly move to the cave outside.”
“Smoke grenades and flashbangs,” Ryan muttered.
“Affirmative,” Henry said, nodding in agreement. “If we can’t see them, we’ll level the playing field so they can’t see us.”
“Captain,” Kelmithus quickly interjected, “Bid me aid your efforts. I’ve insight enough to create fog. I’ve learned from our encounter with the Sentinel Lindwyrm.”
“You can replicate that heavy fog?” Ron asked.
Kelmithus held up his palm, producing an opaque puff of steam to prove his point. “Indeed so, Lieutenant. Adequately do these envirosuits shield us, that I might harness more extreme temperatures for more effective casting.”
Henry was impressed with how quickly the archmage grasped such a concept. “Good. Yen, get that drone into the cave. We’ll hold for updates.”
Yen nodded, carrying out Henry’s order silently. The drone’s feed directly streamed to their HUDs, and after a few minutes, Isaac looked up. “Done.”
Henry analyzed the data. They had visual confirmation of a dozen Nobians inside the facility itself and a staggering forty outside, both in the cave and around the cave entrance. It was an assumption, but there probably weren’t many cloaked soldiers past the hallway. He sighed; the worst-case scenario would have them facing a hundred men in total.
It was a challenge, but the drone’s intel granted them a critical tactical advantage. He analyzed his minimap, selecting and sharing a route with minimal enemy contact. “After clearing the facility’s entrance, we’ll proceed along the designated path. Upon exit, I’ll deploy a flare to signal our movement to the MRAPs for extraction. We will then rendezvous with Zulu-9 and coordinate with air support before re-engaging to secure the site.”
His team nodded, fully on board with the plan. He took a deep breath to steel himself before checking his watch – 16:24. “Alright, time to show ourselves.”
Letting his M7 sling over his chest, Henry prepared two flash grenades – one in each hand – before stepping out. With his team in tow, he moved to the center of the hallway, catching the attention of one of the Nobian patrols.
“Attention, Nobian forces! We request parley. I am Captain Donnager of Alpha Team, Tier 6 Adventurer. We are on an official quest sanctioned by the Adventurer’s Guild. We have no intention of hostilities and seek to discuss our presence and objectives to ensure mutual understanding.”
As Henry’s words echoed through the hallway, the Nobian soldiers snapped into action. He heard the sounds of bowstring being drawn taut and the rasp of metal as swords cleared their scabbards. His hands tightened around the flash grenades.
He kept his gaze steady, projecting a sense of calm; of confidence – enough to convince the Nobians that even outnumbered, he and his team were still no match for them. More soldiers joined the patrol, until all twelve of the previously identified Nobians were upon them. They kept their distance, but Henry could feel the tension boiling.
Just as the standoff seemed to reach a critical point, the air in front of them seemed to fold outward from itself, like watching the effects of gravitational lensing on light. A figure coalesced from the distortion – so this is what invisibility magic looked like.
The man was broad-shouldered and tall, seeing eye-to-eye with him, even despite the extra inches in height the envirosuit gave. As the last wisps of the cloaking magic faded away, Henry found himself staring into a pair of piercing gray eyes that seemed to bore into his very soul.
The newcomer had an angular face and was clad in black armor with a different sheen than the black armor of his comrades. Silver trimmings and an insignia emblazoned on his chestplate – a dagger through a swirl of mist – differentiated his status. A cloak of the same dark hue billowed behind him as he walked forward and drew his sword.
Keeping his sword to the side, he stopped a respectable ten meters away from Henry. “I am Carvus Alnect Virelius, Umber Vicearch of the Order of the Shadow.” He then pointed his sword at Henry, declaring, “Of desecrating sovereign Nobian territory, you stand accused.”
As Carvus spoke, more soldiers materialized alongside him, shimmering into existence as they dropped their cloaking spells. Henry had expected this to happen, but seeing it play out still sent a chill down his spine. How many more were still lying in wait?
The Vicearch kept his weapon on Henry, eyes narrowing. “Commander unto commander, I offer a choice: cede your Holding Bags, that secure passage may be granted unto you. Refuse, and you shall be declared as spies and enemies of the Nobian Empire, your lives forfeit to swift execution.”
READ 2 WEEKS AHEAD: Season Finale Chapter 17 is now available for Tier 2 Manifest Fantasy Patrons and higher!
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I’m 19 years old and a little bit on the heavier side mostly around the stomach area, and I’ve been attempting quads since last month, but my main issue is my arms as I can’t seem to properly hold myself up when I attempt it, and plus with the CONSTANT wrist pain i’m left with for days after it.
is there ways to strengthen my arms without weights as I don’t have any at home currently? Should I lose a significant amount of weight before I even practice quads?? I feel so left out and (if jealous) when I see other people doing quads like it’s nothing and I feel like i’m missing out entirely because my body and body aches slow me down, and i’m not seeing any improvement.

Hey all!
After ~3 years of no progress, I fully recovered in about eight weeks. 97% of the symptoms are gone, including PEM, fatigue, MCAS reactions, and feeling sick most of the time. I’m back to working 9-10h a day with superb cognitive output, training as hard as I can (i.e., 30min peloton 168 bpm, >10k steps a day, lots of bodyweight work during the day), and being truly myself. Gosh, I’m feeling fucking blessed. Like I was asleep for 3y and finally woke up. I have SO MUCH energy. Started a new project, got back to writing essays, hanging out with friends, etc. I’m fucking alive again!
Case summary:
Got a very mild Covid in the beginning of July 2021; didn’t even have fever but felt exhausted (i.e., struggled getting out of bed in the morning) and lost smell and taste; recovered in ~10 days; senses returned in ~2-3 weeks.
Developed neuro issues (cognitive PEM, difficulty thinking) and fatigue during acute covid, literally next day after exposure, and they never went away; this was my first long covid symptom.
Then kept developing more & more symptoms:

• food sensitivities in Aug-Sep 2021
• chronic recurrent sinusitis in Sep 2021
• dysautonomia and POTS in 2022
• stomach (H Pylori), gut, and joints issues in summer 2023
• more sensitivities (cold, heat, pill coating) in summer 2023
• neuropathies, more severe joints issues in late 2023/2024
• recurring viral infections (reactivation?) in May, Sep, Dec 2023, Mar 2024

My major sX on March 2024 were:

1. feeling and being sick most days (fatigue/ugh state, brain fog, reddish cheeks, sinus and ear Sx, sometimes cold sores)
   1. frequent (every month) sinus infections (very thick yellow mucus, severe cognitive dysfunction, sinus and ear Sx: pressure, congestion, postnasal drip, hot ears in the evening)
   2. persistent brain fog/cognitive dysfunction: working and long-term memory issues, slow info processing, word recall troubles, not feeling like myself/depersonalization, etc.
2. mental and physical PEM
3. MCAS: allergy-like reactions to foods (esp high-histamine), cold, pressure, exercise, certain antibiotics (augmentin), tablet coating, etc.
   
4. dysautonomia and POTS
   
5. gut issues: bloating, upset, abdominal pain (esp right lower quadrant; even tested for appendicitis via bloods + CT + ultrasound)
   
6. joints issues: pain and swelling in both feet metatarsals (bursitis)
   
7. misc:
   
   1. pain, weakness, and discomfort in 4th and 5th left hand fingers
   2. right eye issues: sometimes enlarged pupil (only in right eye), pain above right eye if I roll my eyes up, looking at bright objects leaves a lasting mark in the visual field (but does not in the left eye)

Summary of what I believe healed me:

1. lots of sunlight: sunrise, midday, sunset; as much time as possible under the sun (see below for the pic how I’m typing these words!) >> this cleared up sinus, ear, and GI infections + improved energy and mood
2. cold exposure: 3 min cold showers + morning and evening ~20min naked torso outside at ~5-9 degrees celsius; plus temp variability: hanging out naked torso outside as much as possible to retrain that vasculature and aerate the body >> this reduced stress, removed fatigue, and brought my energy back
3. spending most of my time outdoors, in nature (parks, forest, meadows, lakes, etc.): hanging out amongst animals, birds, etc. >> this further reduced stress to basically zero and brought back a sense of joy and serenity
4. nervous system retraining via specific types of movement and aromatherapy: balance, dancing, climbing, boxing moves, fencing, crawling + smelling flowers, trees, essential oils, herbs >> this brought back trust in my body and a sense of balance & peace
5. very clean, vegan, autophagy-optimized diet + eggs (i.e., no sugar, UPFs of any kind, all organic, mostly fresh/little cooked; lots of spermidine via sprouted rye, wheat; other autophagy boosting foods), with ~3 small meals a day and 20-40% caloric restriction >> this took away gut issues, reduced joint inflammation, and opened up my sinuses after years of congestion
6. lots of movement throughout the day and gradual return to more intense exercise: started from short and very light and low intensity bodyweight workout (10 mins; one set of squats, pushups, abs, etc.) and built up from that; z1 cardio 105 bpm walking with ~5kg backpack; then z2 peloton 15>20>30 mins; then more intense strength workouts with dumbbells + LOTS of movement throughout the day, every 20-30 mins, never still >> this also greatly improved energy, although I did get PEM first (in March-April) after more-or-less intense 40 min strength training with dumbbells, but then it went away; that lady from huberman pod (see below) had a brilliant point of how each type of exercise (walking, strength, endurance, HIIT, zone 2) positively affects mitochondria in different ways, “muscle contraction is medicine”
7. weirdly, 100% dark chocolate, 20-50g daily. It’s a strong autophagy inducer and boasts with antioxidants + boosts brain function and mood. >> I felt substantially better right after I started eating it, and never stopped.

Supplements and drugs I took: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_oA0CONWDlPg7eEABA6tIo9Np5sfVy_iC497JrZDeoY/edit#gid=0
All they did was reduce brain fog + reactions to foods, but those sx immediately returned when I tried stopping the supps in Feb.
I think the main problem was mitochondrial dysfunction because all those things I did address it in various ways. Huberman released a great pod on it last week (https://youtu.be/8qaBpM73NSk?si=cDdTBiOzKk86wkQn) + check out Jack Kruse stuff for more info
Sending you all good energy. Stay strong. You can beat it.
VS

Past few years, before I met my husband, he had a critical condition where he just pooped straight up blood. He did colonoscopies, surgeries, tests for cancer, and medications and doctors concluded that it was Crohns. According to my husband, the pharmaceutical medications actually made his condition worse, so he weaned off of it and just focused on his diet and exercise.
For the past months, it’s been slowly coming back and was able to combat it. We just got married and moved to a new state btw so not sure if that impacts it. But now for these past days, the blood has come back and made the toilet water red, cramping in the left side of his stomach, gassy, and back aches. His energy also seems to have deteriorated.
Has anyone or anyone’s partner gone through this? Is this expected for Crohns? I’m honestly freaking the f*ck out
TL;DR - husband has been diagnosed with crohns 3-4 years ago, bleeding colon has come back and I need help in how to support / what to do bc he refuses to get checked with the doctor as they couldn’t figure it out in the past and made it worse for him.

My next doc appointment is in one week and I'm trying to keep myself from not stressing too much so I'd like to address some of the things in the title so here goes, if you have anything to add please help a poor soul out, I'm not used to being this freaked out. The pain is currently still manageable as it's rather mild but the feeling of my stomach being empty nonstop and the fatigue are getting to me.

• First off, working out: can you workout while having H Pylori? I'm aware exercise helps with digestion and increases acidity. I doubt I'll be able to do my usual high intensity cardio and weighlifting but can I still do slow jogs and lighter lifting? I'm thinking something like, eat , then exercises 1 hour later, maybe grab a banana 15-20 mins before workout and drink water throughout the session. I haven't worked out since almost 2 months ago when I found out I had this, just long walks.
  
• Second: dark green poop. I was diagnosed, got some treatment for 2 weeks, poop went from dark green to yellow and now back to very dark with a green hue. I know this is normal if you have H Pylori but when should I start to worry? I also read that green might mean livegallbladder issue. Fingers crossed no blood in stool. Also this morning when I blew my nose there was a booger with a bit of blood in it, now this may be paranoia, but my sinuses are usually stuffed and this hasn't happened in a while, hope it's not a bad sign.
  
• Cabbage juice and biofilm: I started cabbage juice 4 days ago (love the taste tbh), twice per day, I've read some threads on this sub that say I'd need to destroy (?) the biofilm first using gingeACV or something else so that the sulforaphane in cabbage could destroy the bacteria, plus it would take at least 2-3 weeks to feel any effects. Is that right?
  
• Can you eat eggs? I've seen split opinions, some saying it's a trigger and that they're acidic.
  
• On the acidity topic, I've read it's good to take one tablespoon of ACV (with the mother) before meals, opinions on this please?
  

I don't know what my doc will prescribe me but I hope it won't destroy (what's left lol) of my gut flora. I'll also be getting an abdominal ultrasound. Anything else I should ask for? I'm thinking if testing resistance to antibiotics would be a good idea. I want to ask him about bismuth, I have a friend who got rid of H Pylori in 10 days taking some bismuth based pills.
Should I keep on taking probiotics until my appointment ? I was considering buying some mastic gum too while I'm at it.
Any advice on how to lower stomach acidity is also welcome.

I got my first IUD on Friday. I had never had a pap or examine (32 yr) and have always felt guilty about being behind on preventative health care. I have also exclusively used withdraw since I was 18. I have only been in long term relationships and when the birth control conversation inevitably came up in the beginning of each, I would bristle. It would follow the ceasing of condom use and come with the implication that we (I) should be more responsible about birth control. I resented the suggestion that I alone should be responsible for altering my body to accommodate a man's, even my partner's, pleasure because they would rather not wear condoms and don't want to pull out. The idea of bearing the full burden of responsibility by inserting a foreign object in my body, in my most intimate organ has always insensed me on a fundamental level. But in truth, I always felt guilty for depriving my partner. and when friends would rebuke my choices as reckless- I don't know how many times I've been told I must be infertile if I haven't become pregnant yet while not using birth control. So when I went for my first exam, I thought it might be wise to do the responsible thing that I've felt urged to do from all fronts.
I wasn't nervous. In fact I saw it as a challenge to overcome. I listened to the information given to me during the consultarion. I felt like I had enough of a grasp of what was going to happen. I was offered xanax and lidocaine, but it was implied that lidocaine could be just as painful. I don't feel I was discouraged necessarily, but I felt it was not being encouraged. I wish I would have taken both offers instead of just the ibuprofen.
I was told of the potential pain and range of variable experience, that some women have felt the pain of insertion worse than child birth. But everyone that knows me knows that I have a high pain tolerance. And so say many women I imagine. The doctor told me I might have a "whoosh" experience, which I understood to mean fainting. I still didn't feel much fear leading up to the procedure.
I was told how the procedure would go, the assessment, the speculum, the measuring and the insertion. I was surprised by the size of the model iuds, though I'm not sure what I was expecting. I thought I understood the sounding- I didn't. I had no idea about the tenaculum. Once the examine was rolling it seemed all previously mentioned anxiety and pain management were off the table unless I insisted they stop.
I was uncomfortable from the beginning and realized I was in for an unpleasant experience if I couldn't get myself to relax. The resident MD was being coached by the doctor. I heard them discussing the tilt of my uterus as she seemingly went rutting around for my cervix. Even the cotton swab was painful. They brought in a nurse to squeeze my hand and try to distract me with idle conversation. He was a literal angel and I wouldn't have been able even attempt to mask the agony without him there.
I knew it could be painful but I had no idea. I have only ever heard of the "pinch" and some menstrual like cramps. I had only ever heard from women that had had relatively uncomplicated insertions with moderate pain if any.
The insertion was the single most excruciating event of my life. It is still so surreal as my mind is already trying to protect me from the memory days later. I was close to screaming but tried hard to laugh through the agony out of embarrassment and not wanting to make the doctors feel bad. I wish I had blacked out but I was acutely aware of every sensation. At peak pain, I did something I would normally never do and said "This Really Hurts". I can't put into words how much but I know some reading this may understand.
It felt like it lasted ages but eventually it was over. I felt absolutely broken. I was able to sit up even though I was in severe pain and all I could feel was my wrecked cervical canal and the device inside of me. I was able to dress and have some juice that was brought to me. The angel nurse came and sat with me some more to make sure I was okay. I was not, there was no position I could sit or stand in for relief but I again tried to put on a brave face, for a moment.
I felt delirious trying to make conversation and I suddenly realized I was sweating profusely. I informed him I needed to get undressed again. He suggested I lay back down. Terrible, no. I put my head under the faucet. My pelvis was screaming. Standing was awful. I hobbled to the bathroom across the hall and immediately took my shirt off again, more water. I felt like I needed to shit and puke. The pain was getting worse and worse so I weakly crossed the hall again shirtless back to the bed. Now the staff were concerned and coming to assist me.
I spent the next HOUR in pain again, nearly as bad as the procedure. Charlie horse level cramps all over from the waste down, the worst of which concentrated in my cervix. Fever chills and aches like the worst food poisoning/stomach virus you've ever had. The muscles in my hips were screaming and moving was not an option. I had ice packs on my head and warm packs all around my waste. I wondered if my body was in full assault mode against a perceived foreign invader. I am pretty sure I was in shock. I was hypotensive the whole time while a new nurse monitored my vitals. I struggled to respond to any one verbally.
The doctor overseeing the insertion swung by, placed pressure on my lower stomach and asked if it hurt. Yes. You're not gushing blood though are you? No. I don't recall him saying much else before a left again. Later, when delivering my exit consultation he reminded me of the "whoosh" sensation he'd told me about and explained thats what I had just experienced for the last hour and that it was not uncommon.
I felt like I was nailed to that bed for hours pouring sweat and trying everything to avoid the pain in my entire body. Eventually I noticed my breaths were finally seeming to connect back to my heart rate. I started coming back to life and immediately asked the new nurse if she knew why male birth control options were not available in the US after decades. She flatly responded, the patriarchy. I told her I had used tracking and withdraw for the past 14 years and I wasn't sure what I had just done to my body was necessary. She agreed, tracking could be a viable planning option she said. I still hadn't shed a tear during this ordeal.
Tears were to come and to come repeatedly in the following days, every time I remember anything about what happened. I was depleted and deeply depressed. I feel hurt and violated and alone. I'm not mad at any one in particular. I mad on the whole that we are made to feel we have an obligation to bravely endure Why?
The pain largely subsided after the worst of it but I could, and still can, feel the IUD inside me. I hope that awareness goes away and I can eventually forget it's there and what I went through for it. I was starting to feel better today until I got my medical report in my email. Notes for post procedure: "patient tolerated procedure well."
I am so beyond hurt and angry. This has to be a mistake? I've left voice messages with the clinic. This is very important for me that this is corrected, for my record and the larger record. I found it so hard to find stories like mine outside of this forum. Are they going unreported? How common is this? What are these statistics that are published?
I'm mad and exhausted and I hurt for anyone who had also experienced this. I want to hear your stories of your experiences, even if they were more fortunate than mine.
I don't not recommend getting any IUD, but I won't recommend it, at least not without pain management. do yourself the favor. But I feel more opposed to the concept now than ever before. I won't accept that this is the best option available in this day and age. Really?

Content warning: Trauma
I got my first IUD on Friday. I had never had a pap or examine (32 yr) and have always felt guilty about being behind on preventative health care. I have also exclusively used withdraw since I was 18. I have only been in long term relationships and when the birth control conversation inevitably came up in the beginning of each, I would bristle. It would follow the ceasing of condom use and come with the implication that we (I) should be more responsible about birth control. I resented the suggestion that I alone should be responsible for altering my body to accommodate a man's, even my partner's, pleasure because they would rather not wear condoms and don't want to pull out. The idea of bearing the full burden of responsibility by inserting a foreign object in my body, in my most intimate organ has always insensed me on a fundamental level. But in truth, I always felt guilty for depriving my partner. and when friends would rebuke my choices as reckless- I don't know how many times I've been told I must be infertile if I haven't become pregnant yet while not using birth control. So when I went for my first exam, I thought it might be wise to do the responsible thing that I've felt urged to do from all fronts.
I wasn't nervous. In fact I saw it as a challenge to overcome. I listened to the information given to me during the consultarion. I felt like I had enough of a grasp of what was going to happen. I was offered xanax and lidocaine, but it was implied that lidocaine could be just as painful. I don't feel I was discouraged necessarily, but I felt it was not being encouraged. I wish I would have taken both offers instead of just the ibuprofen.
I was told of the potential pain and range of variable experience, that some women have felt the pain of insertion worse than child birth. But everyone that knows me knows that I have a high pain tolerance. And so say many women I imagine. The doctor told me I might have a "whoosh" experience, which I understood to mean fainting. I still didn't feel much fear leading up to the procedure.
I was told how the procedure would go, the assessment, the speculum, the measuring and the insertion. I was surprised by the size of the model iuds, though I'm not sure what I was expecting. I thought I understood the sounding- I didn't. I had no idea about the tenaculum. Once the examine was rolling it seemed all previously mentioned anxiety and pain management were off the table unless I insisted they stop.
I was uncomfortable from the beginning and realized I was in for an unpleasant experience if I couldn't get myself to relax. The resident MD was being coached by the doctor. I heard them discussing the tilt of my uterus as she seemingly went rutting around for my cervix. Even the cotton swab was painful. They brought in a nurse to squeeze my hand and try to distract me with idle conversation. He was a literal angel and I wouldn't have been able even attempt to mask the agony without him there.
I knew it could be painful but I had no idea. I have only ever heard of the "pinch" and some menstrual like cramps. I had only ever heard from women that had had relatively uncomplicated insertions with moderate pain if any.
The insertion was the single most excruciating event of my life. It is still so surreal as my mind is already trying to protect me from the memory days later. I was close to screaming but tried hard to laugh through the agony out of embarrassment and not wanting to make the doctors feel bad. I wish I had blacked out but I was acutely aware of every sensation. At peak pain, I did something I would normally never do and said "This Really Hurts". I can't put into words how much but I know some reading this may understand.
It felt like it lasted ages but eventually it was over. I felt absolutely broken. I was able to sit up even though I was in severe pain and all I could feel was my wrecked cervical canal and the device inside of me. I was able to dress and have some juice that was brought to me. The angel nurse came and sat with me some more to make sure I was okay. I was not, there was no position I could sit or stand in for relief but I again tried to put on a brave face, for a moment.
I felt delirious trying to make conversation and I suddenly realized I was sweating profusely. I informed him I needed to get undressed again. He suggested I lay back down. Terrible, no. I put my head under the faucet. My pelvis was screaming. Standing was awful. I hobbled to the bathroom across the hall and immediately took my shirt off again, more water. I felt like I needed to shit and puke. The pain was getting worse and worse so I weakly crossed the hall again shirtless back to the bed. Now the staff were concerned and coming to assist me.
I spent the next HOUR in pain again, nearly as bad as the procedure. Charlie horse level cramps all over from the waste down, the worst of which concentrated in my cervix. Fever chills and aches like the worst food poisoning/stomach virus you've ever had. The muscles in my hips were screaming and moving was not an option. I had ice packs on my head and warm packs all around my waste. I wondered if my body was in full assault mode against a perceived foreign invader. I am pretty sure I was in shock. I was hypotensive the whole time while a new nurse monitored my vitals. I struggled to respond to any one verbally.
The doctor overseeing the insertion swung by, placed pressure on my lower stomach and asked if it hurt. Yes. You're not gushing blood though are you? No. I don't recall him saying much else before a left again. Later, when delivering my exit consultation he reminded me of the "whoosh" sensation he'd told me about and explained thats what I had just experienced for the last hour and that it was not uncommon.
I felt like I was nailed to that bed for hours pouring sweat and trying everything to avoid the pain in my entire body. Eventually I noticed my breaths were finally seeming to connect back to my heart rate. I started coming back to life and immediately asked the new nurse if she knew why male birth control options were not available in the US after decades. She flatly responded, the patriarchy. I told her I had used tracking and withdraw for the past 14 years and I wasn't sure what I had just done to my body was necessary. She agreed, tracking could be a viable planning option she said. I still hadn't shed a tear during this ordeal.
Tears were to come and to come repeatedly in the following days, every time I remember anything about what happened. I was depleted and deeply depressed. I feel hurt and violated and alone. I'm not mad at any one in particular. I mad on the whole that we are made to feel we have an obligation to bravely endure Why?
The pain largely subsided after the worst of it but I could, and still can, feel the IUD inside me. I hope that awareness goes away and I can eventually forget it's there and what I went through for it. I was starting to feel better today until I got my medical report in my email. Notes for post procedure: "patient tolerated procedure well."
I am so beyond hurt and angry. This has to be a mistake? I've left voice messages with the clinic. This is very important for me that this is corrected, for my record and the larger record. I found it so hard to find stories like mine outside of this forum. Are they going unreported? How common is this? What are these statistics that are published?
I'm mad and exhausted and I hurt for anyone who had also experienced this. I want to hear your stories of your experiences, even if they were more fortunate than mine.
I don't not recommend getting any IUD, but I won't recommend it, at least not without pain management. do yourself the favor. But I feel more opposed to the concept now than ever before. I won't accept that this is the best option available in this day and age. Really?

About six years ago my family bought a place in rural Indiana, just outside of town. We bought it for the machine shop, a huge industrial building with zoning, power and access for trucks. I had been a professional metal smith for about ten years but had to leave that work behind for financial reasons and the cost of proper space where I live. This new place was on 5 acres with a house, barn and a creek in the back. It was bordered by a neighbor with an extensive garden and orchard on one side and an empty field on the other. Two years after we moved in the field sold. The new owner stored trucks and building supplies there for two years before starting on a house. It took them quite a while to build it- they were building it themselves. They seemed decent enough at the time. Now, I am used to being viewed as nuisance- I run a blacksmith/welding shop. I try to mitigate the noise. The building is insulated, and machinery anchored to huge (and expensive) concrete footings that reduce vibration. I don’t crank the stereo to drown out the machines, I have headphones. I do regular noise audits and keep reasonable hours ( nothing before 7 or after 9, and no weekend work) When the new neighbors began nearing completion, they brought goats out and stuffed them into a chicken coop about midway down our driveway. They would come out to check on the goats every few days but sometimes the animals would go a while without anyone coming by. My wife and I would walk the dogs past a few times a day ( it’s our driveway) and after a few days of goats screaming at us, one of us would go over and give them food and water. This was an every other week kind of thing. I figured these folks were probably really busy and just getting hung up on driving the 45 + minutes to feed the animals- not a big deal really. As they began moving in, they built a fence, or rather, they had a drunk uncle build a fence. It was just a foot, or two or three from my driveway, and as it meandered toward my house veered into my carport. I tried to have a conversation with them about this, and was threatened with a lawsuit… ( my first altercation with them) I approached the county only to be told that it would be a civil dispute and I would have to go through an attorney to get anything done. Now the drunk uncle realized he was off the line when he got to the carport and just stopped. For 8 months they did nothing. Well, they did start collecting animals. 6 more goats, 16 sheep, 2 then 4 horses and 4 cows…all of these tied to posts in chicken wire fences… I did call animal control. Animal control informed me that this county is rural and they can have whatever animals they want, and do to them whatever they want… (damn Indiana… just??? ) this was about the time he decided to start “training “ the horses. This involved tying them to a post in front of my porch, blasting mariachi music, while whipping the horse- for about two hours a night…they lost three horses, and got 5 more…the half built fence blew over into our driveway last spring. I was out of town working and my wife took the dogs out and took some pictures of the fence in our driveway. The neighbor called the police and reported that she was stalking them, and taking pictures of their workers ( who were eating lunch at the time apparently, but ran off when they realized they had been seen) the police were not thrilled with the call and gave the neighbor a bit of a talking to. The following week they pulled the fence and rebuilt it straight. It now fully encloses their property and is not interfering with my carport. Now, I don’t trust these idiots, but hoped this was the end….far from it. They covered their property with flood lights, that are motion activated. We no longer have dark nights. In the fall they began building a 7000-8000 sq ft barn. Right next to my front porch. Now, at least the horses have a decent place…(right? ) they brought in a full time horse trainer and are “raftering” the horses. The new barn comes with a sound system, and the horse beating is now an 8 am- midnight 7 day a week affair. When the horses get unmanageable they trade them out. I have no count on the animals anymore, but at least I don’t have to watch the beatings anymore. Four times now he has charged me on horseback while I was walking the dogs. I figured he had no control the first three times but the last time he looked me in the eye and spurred the horse directly at me… starting in late January the manure began. They have 7 acres. They pile the manure right by my porch. I messaged her- she blocked me. I e-mailed both of them. From February to April they just piled it higher. In May I called the health department ( damn Indiana…) On the books, the pile shouldn’t be within 200 feet of a residence. The inspector said horse manure doesn’t count…. They responded… the inspection got them riled up. Apparently I am the asshole for wanting the poop piled on the side of the barn that is not right by my front door and dining room window…My second conversation with them ( in two years) was two weeks ago, and now they are going out of their way to pile it closer to my house. I haven’t complained about the noise, or called zoning on them for the unapproved event space They are building, or mentioned any of a dozen other obnoxious things they do. I am concerned that they seem to only want to escalate things. From the conversation it sounds like they are getting flak from other neighbors and thinking it is me. I am not sure they realize that there are houses all around them. She “rescued” a cat that belongs to one of the other neighbors which makes me think she hasn’t talked to any of them. And she kept going on about us calling the police, which I never have. I can hear the mariachi music, literally night and day , echoing through my house, and in the shop ( built for noise abatement) with doors closed and machines running) I am fairly certain that is not going over well with some of the neighbors.

I guess this has probably been asked about a million times before, sorry!
I have a supersix 3, slightly too big for me (56, 5ft 10), and want to downsize. Ive done LEJOG with it and had really no complaints other than shoulder and neck aches from the bike being too big, rather than the flexibility- no back pain or anything.
I want a lightweight ish bike, that can fit gravel 35mm for abit of offroad, but can holds its own on decents being super fun. I love too do small-ish trips traversing 500mile+ up and down mountains, mainly roady.
But... I also want it too be able to do abit of bikepacking when required.
I feel in the dark whether the supersix is too sporty for this, as my problems were down to the bike being too big I suspect.
Basically a fun and sporty bike, decent clearences and comfortable- so something like the aeroad would be too sporty.
the scott addict is a good choice, endurance, ultimate, grizl. all have 35mm from user experience- reddit posts. Anyone with any knowledge can help me? The grizl seems more sporty than the endurance thats why I mentioned it. I still found the supersix abit twitchy so would like to switch brand.
I will probably add my own clip ons aswell with a custom roadbar setup.
https://www.bikeradar.com/features/pro-bike/lachlan-morton-alt-tour-bike

I’m nearly a year postpartum. From 6 months postpartum I started to feel a sort of “fog”. Never overly sad, never “depressed”, no bad thoughts about my baby or feeling disconnected from her at all. Just feeling sort of foggy. I was able to feel happy with her and happy with my life. At 10 months postpartum I finally mentioned this “foggy feeling” to my Doctor and they said this could be postpartum depression even though I wasn’t really feeling depressed. They put me on Zoloft and suggested talk therapy. I called a few therapy clinics and have now had my first therapy appointment and will go weekly. Zoloft made me super anxious with heart racing and my mind racing and I chose to stop after only 2 days. I called the doctor the following week and they prescribed Wellbutrin instead. First 9 days on that were “ok”, no major side effects but I was suddenly feeling that dark cloud/depressed feeling which I truly wasn’t feeling before. I started to wonder if they misdiagnosed me and I have something underlying going on? Days 10-12 were absolutely terrible with tons of crying, severe depression and anxiety with a pit in my stomach. All things I haven’t felt in years. I chose to stop that too and I’m really struggling with the feeling of not feeling like I gave it enough of a try but also feeling like I don’t need it especially if it’s going to make my symptoms worse. At this point I’ve written off any medication and I’m to the point where my daughter will be a year old soon.
I’m hopeful that with time these feelings will subside and I can move past this, has anyone worked through PPD with just talk therapy and no medication?

A DE-based CT that's inspired by the Goosebumps book "One Day at HorrorLand", that allows the user to cast a DE that's reminiscent of the theme park from the book. This domain mirrors the eerie and dangerous aspects of Horrorland, complete with menacing attractions and terrifying monsters. The user can control and manipulate this park, using it to trap and frighten enemies. Upon activation, the user is automatically transported into a master control room of sorts that allows them to oversee the entirety of the park and opponents via cameras strewn about the park.
The user can also summon and control an innumerable amount of green-skinned, muscular horned shikigami dubbed "Horrors" to be used for offensive, defensive, or support purposes. These shikigami are not only physically strong, but also immensely durable, to the point where nothing can really hurt them. The only thing that can kill these shikigami is pinching them.
The main sure-hit effect of this domain, revolves around the gameshow-based aspects that this domain has to offer. Upon getting caught in this domain, the opponents are randomly placed in different sections of HorrorLand where they are then forced to participate in games involving the various attractions or rides. Everyone is then given 3 lives, that can't be brought or won back, and if all exhausted will result in the death of the opponent.
The unwilling participants and/or participant is able to freely pick which ride or attraction to compete in, with each one having the same win condition: SURVIVE. The how doesn't matter, as long as you survive. They must survive a total of 5 games in order to win, which will then transport them to the exit point of the theme park, or in other words, forcefully deactivate the users domain, which results in a heavy amount of backlash on the user. If there are multiple opponents caught in this domain, only one of them needs to win in order for the whole group to win.
Some of the notable rides and attractions (because it'd take forever to list EVERYTHING lol), as well as their effects are as follows:
Attractions:
Deadly Doom Slides: 10 monstrous slides, each with a different interior and effects. The slides themselves are way bigger on the inside than outside, being more like tunnels than actual slides, or even separate realms entirely. The slides are as follows:

1. Ear Wax Alley: Appears as a twisted tunnel filled with grotesque, towering sculptures made entirely of ear wax, that can attack whoever enters, with their main method of attack involving coating and immobilizing victims in earwax that slowly corrodes their skin.
   
2. Electric Banshee: Appears as a realm of perpetual thunderstorms, where lightning strikes indiscriminately and the air is filled with the haunting wails of spectral banshee-like shikigami that are capable of attacking opponents. The ground crackles with electrical energy, and those who enter risk being struck by lightning or driven mad by the banshees cries.
   
3. Worm Belly: Appears as the stomach of a massive, writhing worm. The walls are lined with pulsating organs, and the ground is covered in squirming, slimy worms. The air is thick with the stench of decay, and stomach acid that slowly eats away at those who dared choose this slide.
   
4. Dragonbreath Drive: This slide leads to a fiery landscape dominated by a colossal dragon-like shikigami. The sky is filled with smoke and ash, and rivers of molten lava flow through the terrain. The dragon's fiery breath scorches everything in its path, and those who enter must evade its wrath to survive.
   
5. Just-a-Drop: A normal slide in appearance at first glance. The effect of this slide however, takes the form of a massive bottomless pit that the victim must figure out how to escape from.
   
6. Hairy Luge: This slide is coated in a thick layer of writhing, sentient hair that grips and pulls at anyone who enters. The hair seems to have a mind of its own, forming into grotesque shapes such as hands or weapons, and faces that leer and taunt those trapped within.
   
7. Carpenter's Delight: This slide leads to a realm where everything is made of sharp, splintered wood, that unless your entire body is reinforced with CE, you'd easily get impaled. Trees twist and contort into nightmarish shapes, and the ground is littered with jagged wooden shards.
   
8. Sewer Slide: This slide descends into a maze-like network of dark, dank sewers filled with toxic waste and monstrous shikigami that can spew toxic waste that burns flesh. The walls are slimy with filth, and the air is thick with the stench of decay.
   
9. Infinity Dreadful: This slide leads to a dimension of infinite darkness, where the concept of time and space are warped. Those who enter find themselves trapped in an endless void, with no hope of escape. The darkness consumes everything, including the minds of those who enter.
   
10. So That's Where All the Axes Went!: This slide transports individuals to a realm where every surface is covered in sharp, spinning axes. Surviving in this realm requires constant vigilance and agility to avoid being struck by the deadly blades.
    

Rides:

1. Bumper Carnage: This bumper car ride is set in a twisted, nightmarish version of a carnival midway. The cars are equipped with spikes and blades, and riders must dodge not only other cars but also the deadly obstacles that litter the track.
   
2. Calamity Canyon: Victims board a seemingly normal log flume ride that quickly descends into darkness. The waters become murky and filled with unseen shikigami that pull riders under, only to spit them out onto a crumbling, narrow path along a cliff's edge. The ride culminates in a final drop into a pool of blood-red water.
   
3. Dead Ringer: Riders board a carousel where each horse is adorned with a skeletal rider. As the carousel spins faster and faster, the skeletal riders come to life, reaching out to grab and pull a riders soul out of their body, and then them into a another skeletal rider.
   
4. Wheel of Misfortune: This Ferris wheel takes riders to dizzying heights before suddenly stopping, leaving them suspended in mid-air. The cabins then begin to rotate rapidly at supersonic speeds, causing disorientation. Some cabins even detach randomly and plummet to the ground.
   
5. Monster Mash: This haunted house ride is filled with animatronic monsters that come to life, chasing and attacking riders as they make their way through dark, winding corridors.
   
6. HorrorLand Derby: Riders board decrepit bumper cars that take on a life of their own. The cars steer themselves, crashing into each other with bone-jarring force. The arena is shrouded in darkness, and eerie laughter echoes through the air as the cars relentlessly pursue their terrified opponents.
   

About two months ago I (34F) started having stomach aches/cramping, changes in bowel habits and a feeling like something was stuck or like I wasn’t done even if I’d just gone to the bathroom or knew I didn’t need to go. I went to a GI about two weeks later and she said it could be colitis or IBS, she called for a FIT test and blood work (both came back normal) and a six week diet (two weeks gluten free, two lactose free and two fodmap). While the stomach pains went away, the changes in bowel and the feeling of something stuck or incomplete did not go away. I had a follow up yesterday and now she has ordered a colonoscopy for a month from now. She mentioned it could be internal hemorrhoids or colitis and also said she’s not worried but still wants to go in and look. Even though she seems unconcerned I am terrified. My worst fear is that it could be something much more serious and that diagnosis is taking too long. My question is do those of you who have experienced similar symptoms agree with her assessment or could my fears be valid and I should do more to get answers sooner? All thoughts welcome, thank you in advance.

Yesterday, I had a stressful day and when I got home, I suddenly lost my appetite, became bloated and nauseous, my body became achy, I got the chills, and felt like I was burning up.
My temperature was 99 and my COVID test was negative.
I tried to go to sleep, but my stomach hurt, I was sweating profusely, every time I moved my body would ache, and for some reason I had to pee a lot.
Eventually, most of this began to subside around 11 PM and I was able to go to sleep.
I'm still a little hot and sweaty and don't feel 100%, but at least most of these symptoms have gone away.
Does anxiety or neurological issues make any of you sick?
What do you take to make daily life easier to handle?

My boyfriend and I have been together since highschool and survived being long distance during college. After college I got a high paying engineering job and had to move to a specific city for it. He struggled to find a job after college and continued to work in his school's library part time. He didn't have much financial freedom because of that, but still wanted to stay in an expensive, east coast city rather than moved back to the midwest. I think he expected that I would eventually move to his new city instead, despite me telling him that I can't really compromise this job.
He moved into a place with some roommates in his college town. After a while of putting up with some abuse from these roommates (others have agreed that he was subject to some abuse from them; those aren't just his words) he finally agreed to quit his job at the library and move in with me across country. Almost immediately the problems began. Up until that point I had been living alone for a year, working full time, and keeping a very strict diet and work out regimen. I don't want to get too much into it, but I've struggled with disordered eating in the past and while tracking calories and macros aren't the best practice, it's what I need to do to avoid bingeing and starving cycles. It was a lot of work but I managed to keep myself healthy and my apartment mostly clean by myself.
When I say clean I don't mean a deep clean every weekend type of deal, but things like putting groceries away, making sure the dishes aren't piling up, hanging up laundry, etc. Apparently that is wanting to live in a "show home," to my boyfriend. Upon arrival he unloaded a cargo van's worth of things into my apartment, which fair enough that's how moving works. After the first week of things going unpacked and making it impossible to use the living room, however, I expressed how much it was stressing me out to not be able to use my own spaces anymore and he guilt tripped me about how he just away from two roommates that would scream at him over slight messes while not cleaning up their own messes, saying I was triggering him. I decided to give him more time to unpack and get organized. I even bought more shelves for him to store all his things on so they're off the floor. It's been months and there are still boxes of things just shoved in the corner and apparently there are more things on the way because when he went to college he left some boxes with a friend of his from highschool.
Since he was unemployed when he got here and was already struggling financially before that, and I make more than enough money to support my own life style, I was covering all the rent, groceries, transportation, etc. I was also doing pretty much all the cooking because I wanted to keep up with my meal prepping and whenever he uses the kitchen he leaves behind a huge mess. One time I made the mistake of telling him how much his mess was stressing me out and I got hit with the same "you're triggering me because you know roommates X and Y would keep me from using the kitchen." I had even prefaced my statement by saying "I know this is a rough subject, but..." So now I'm buying all the food, and cooking all the food, but he's apparently so stressed from the last few years that his "threshold of tolerance," is so low that the only thing he can eat is bland, simple food, usually soup. If I spend time cooking my own food he assumes it's to share and will complain that I added spices or made a curry or chili that's thick instead of soupy how he likes it, but then if I make him the bland food his stomach can handle he'll forget it in the fridge and it gets thrown away. And I am ALWAYS the one dealing with rotten food that needs to be thrown away. He just leaves the containers of food on the counter until I deal with them.
On top of that he leaves half eaten food out for days at a time, leaves empty food container like chip bags or apple cores sitting out, leaves napkins and tissues all over the place, misses the trashcan when throwing stuff away and just leaves it. And there's just constant clutter of his art supplies. Art is the one thing he can handle focusing on, an I try to support him to put his things online and try to make some money off of it. A lot of his art work circles around repurposing literal trash though and he uses maybe 1/10 of the "supplies" he gathers. There's a container of onion skins on the counter that he tells me to save because he wants to make ink with it, he makes me save the bags from frozen fruit and veggies so he can make "plarn" and weave it into a picknick blanket, he gathers random bits of literal garbage that he sees on walks to basically piles in up in the spare bedroom which I cannot even enter anymore because of the mess.
There's been a little progress with getting his digital artwork on a website, but I had to hold his hand and walk him through the process of putting together a shop because the task was too much to deal with on his own. That's really the biggest issue: he cannot handle any tasks if I'm not holding his hand all the way through it. Doing the laundry is basically the only thing he can do without prompting or input. There are big things I understand wanting moral support for like putting in job apps and going to interviews, but even little things like making sure he goes for a bike ride or eats enough is offloaded onto me. Everyday I have to spend like a half hour going, "hey are you going to go for that ride you said you wanted to? You should get going before it's dark, you'll feel better afterwards, etc" in order to get him out because I KNOW if I didn't get him to do it then he would make it my problem that his back hurts from not working out. Every day it's "have you eaten yet? What would you like? Can I make you something?" Because I KNOW if his blood sugar gets low and he gets cranky it'll be my problem. I have to spend an additional half hour every night making sure he eats the food I bought and I cooked.
And all this time I spend making sure he's comfortable and taken care of and being productive on his own tasks takes away from time I used to spend doing enjoyable things. I used to enjoy reading and writing and was working on a novel, but I just don't have time anymore. I'm missing days at the gym and needing to take shorter runs. I have to cut down on time I spend playing D&D with my friends. I can't find time to go to the local maker space and blacksmith, which is my favorite hobby. I can't even get my own chores done because every time I try to get locked in on a task I'm interrupted every minute by him calling me to come give him input on something or rub his back or just sit with him while he does something. It's actually making me worse about keeping up with cooking and cleaning. Silly me for thinking having an unemployed person living with me for free would make it easier to keep the apartment in order.
Before I go on, I need to emphasize that I understand why he's acting this way, and I know it isn't malicious, which is what makes this so hard. I know the hording comes from his abusive mother who would get drunk and throw away or break all his things randomly when he was a kid. I know the hype stress responses to doing anything work/money related is because his aunt forced him to go to school for a degree he didn't want, he was rejected from so many STEM jobs, and he's been living in poverty his whole life. I know the cleaning is because he just lives with the clutter his whole life and I don't think he even recognizes it. I know why he's doing all the things he does and needs all the support he does, and I know he isn't doing it to intentionally hurt me. That said I was already practicing a lot of discipline and exerting a lot of energy to keep my life on track before he moved in and now it feels like I have double the responsibility and half the progress.
A few weeks ago he finally got a job as a shipment manager in a grocery store, which I thought would be good for him: he could meet some new friends, earn some money, get out of the apartment more than once a week. He hates it, says there's work drama, and has needed to come home early multiple times because the stress was causing him to dissociate. We need to move again soon because I'm being relocated for work and he says he's glad he won't be working there for very much longer. We move at the end of June and he's supposed to go live on a farm for a few months in September. For context there's a self-sufficient farm community that takes volunteers in exchange for a stipend and room+board that he's been talking to for years. It didn't work out during college, but he's supposed to go this year for a few months.
Obviously I have mixed feelings on that. 1) that means he'll probably be unemployed for two months again after we move. 2) I'll be glad to be living alone again. 3) I'm afraid he's going to find out how much work a farm is and come back in even worse shape than he's already in. All around I don't know how to handle this. I know I don't want to live with him, which really should mean we break up, but we've been together for almost a decade and I know exactly why he is behaving the way he is. I don't know if he can recover and get back to being self sufficient like he was before college, but I know it is hurting me to try and help him in his healing. I still love him and I don't want anything bad to happen to him, which is why I can't just kick him out. He doesn't have the money to live alone and he doesn't know anyone else he could live with without moving across country again. I don't want him to be homeless because he needs support that I can't keep giving, but I can't keep living like this.
TL;DR: My boyfriend moved in with me and due to valid stress and trauma he is nearly incapable of adulting. The stress of supporting him in basically every facet of life is becoming too much to handle, but I don't want to kick him out and make him homeless.

This is a crossover fanfiction between original fiction titles: Nature of Predators by SpacePaladin15 and The Last Angel by Proximal Flame respectively. All credit and rights reserved goes to them for making such amazing science fiction settings that I wanted to put this together.
You can read The Last Angel here: Be warned, it's decently long, and at its third installment so far. I highly suggest reading it before reading this, or this story will not make sense.

Otherwise, enjoy the story! Thanks again to u/jesterra54 and u/skais01 for beta and checking of work!
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Memory transcription subject: Governor Tarva of the Venlil Republic
Date [standardized human time]: October 22, 2136
The reveal of the Arxur's assistance of Earth was a unsettling, but mostly overlooked note to add to the headlines filling news sites today on Venlil Prime.
UNKNOWN SHIP DEVASTATES FEDERATION FLEET ABOVE EARTH, HUMANITY LIVES
While the ship wasn't currently unknown to us, given the UN's report, General Kam had advised that it would be better left unspoken of what capabilities we did know, so as to not worry the populace. "Leave causing panic to the humans" he said. But I heard the worries and anxious rumors throughout both social media and verbal conversations...
"That ship destroyed an ENTIRE fleet!?"
"Oh Protector, please tell me its not an Arxur vessel..."
"Why don't we know more?"
I couldn't help but feel for my people. I came to disagree with Kam's advice more and more, as I wished desperately to allay their fears of it being an Arxur superweapon, or that it was going to destroy us soon, or other similar worries.
Are you so sure yourself, Tarva? Even the UN government is scared of it, and it supposedly was made by a future Humanity...
I tried not to focus on that pang of paranoia. I just hoped soon enough the UN would make a statement on the Nemesis already. As I accompanied Noah to the UN's remembrance speech today, I did my best to scan for the feelings worn on peoples faces. The Venlil were unsettled as before, but the human refugees were an odder story altogether.
They were devastated, and scared as well as us Venlil were. But on top of it, I could see a common face worn of confusion. The information disambiguation hadn't made its way to Venlil Prime like it had Earth, and as such they were as much in the dark as the public here was. I could only imagine their uncertainty, knowing their race was likely saved by something they had no idea about.
Noah spoke out of nowhere. "I feel for the refugees here. Forced to an unfamiliar place, so unofficially hostile to them, and now they learn of Nemesis like this? I'd be as confused as them in their place." He checked his suit, attending to shift it so slightly as to make him look better in it. "I also can't imagine your opponents didn't run the whole ball with their existence here, too. Are we taxing you harshly, Tarva?"
I gripped his hand tighter. "No, Noah. While there are those that want you off-planet, I will not let them kick you off. I'll fight for you, no matter the cost."
"Seems like anywhere we go, we cause a fight some way or another. Pops always said space was our ticket to a better future, yet all we seem to cause is trouble for merely existing."
"Noah, its not your people's fault we're afraid of you. The Arxur are to blame for that, and we're at fault for holding it against you. What happened to Earth was not your doing, you tried your best, and it just was not convincing enough for millennia of cultural momentum."
He smiled at that, a muted, but still genuine smile. "Thank you Tarva. I'm glad you see the best in us, even when we don't."
I continued to scan the crowd, looking for the sight of Meier. He always seemed alight in diplomacy whenever he was around, it was a strength of his, outshining the room like that. I could only hope he was doing okay in the current state of Earth. The last time we talked, he seemed very tired, very...frustrated with everything.
But I was glad to see him in some his element soon after, amongst a group of dignitaries from other Federation species. He seemed to be listening to a Mazic diplomat, one I remembered by the name of Cupo. Sadly, however, despite Meier's attempt, it seems the conversation was not on a good track.
"-they're a menace to the rest of the galaxy, and you just let them in, not so soon after this ship blindsided an entire Federation fleet out of nowhere!?"
Meier dejectedly sighed. "Cupo, I thought I already told you, when the Arxur showed up, we had no capability to tell them to take a hike. They were ten-thousand strong and we barely managed several hundred ships left. That they even engaged in dialogue rather than just subjugation was a surprise to me."
"That doesn't make much sense either, Elias Meier. Since when do the Arxur play merciful? You're not telling us something here, and it curls my trunk in knots. How can we trust you when you can't even give us the details on what that ship is, or why the Arxur even showed up in its stead?"
The Mazic was not interested in Meier's friendly act, not giving any room for benefit of the doubt. The other diplomats crowded around began to mumble in agreement, as Meier stood there, formulating some response.
"What we do know about the ship and the Arxur, we'll clear up publically later in this event. But neither were expected by us, you have to believe me. Humanity is just as confused as you all are on the results of that battle, and-"
Cupo interrupted this time, clearly not willing to hear an explanation out. "You're running out of trust, Human. We think you ought to be given a chance; as the empathy studies show, you're not the Arxur. But associating with them as you are, with little transparency is not doing you favors with us, and if you want further association with us, you'd best cut ties with those monsters sooner, rather than later." The Mazic's ears hung in displeasure, and I could sense the nervousness in Meier as he stood down one of the races in the room far bigger than he was. Whether Cupo knew it or not, Meier was intimidated by his presence, and was trying to keep it cool to some degree. "We'll at most help with the Gojid refugees at the moment, as they've suffered both of your kind, but beyond that, consider it on hold until that problem is resolved."
They walked away, and some of the alien crowd amongst them followed. The only ones still sticking around seemed to be a Yotul diplomat, a Nevok, and a Fissan. The latter two stuck obviously to discuss more trade details, seeking to cut the other off from Earth to a degree in hopes of exploiting the system, but the Yotul was a surprise. I didn't even realize they had sent one this way.
Given the relatively new uplift of their world, I didn't imagine the Yotul having much stake or spread throughout the galaxy, so how did humanity...?
Meier turned to him. "Ah...Ambassador Laulo, I'm sorry you had to see that. We're...not doing so hot in the grand scheme of things, and some relations are boiling over as a result."
Laulo enthusiastically shook his head in denial. "No, it's okay! I understand the feeling of that persecution, even if it's for a different reason. Feels like the galaxy kicking you while you're already down."
"I appreciate any help we can get in regards to this. You're one of the very few races left that's pledged some sense of unconditional aid. I promise, with all I have in my power, I'll try and return the favor-Tarva!" Elias noticed my presence at last. "I...uh, how long have you been standing there?..."
"Long enough to hear most of it. I'm sorry the more neutral species aren't helping any, Meier. But that's not why I'm here, specifically. We need to talk about the human refugees."
Meier looked at me funny with that statement, as if he wasn't expecting something out of me. "I see...I hope it's not anything too bad, is it?"
I silently cringed at the exact words. Noah filled in the details in my stead. "Meier, the refugees here are seeing images of Earth, of those not too horribly in shock to do anything, there's been an uptick in suicides...a massive uptick. They aren't aware of the full story, due to the Venlil government's reluctance to publish the report sent here publicly. This remembrance speech better give the people here a semblance of peace, of stability, because there's an extreme lack of morale left in the camps."
Meier grimaced and scanned the crowd, glancing at the humans that were here. I assume he too could see how dejected many were, how many seemed at the end of their rope, coming here for the slightest hint of hope left in their lives at the news. They would need some good news, or there was a chance some wouldn't be here tomorrow.
I felt for them. They didn't deserve this, and our intentional censor of the details, so that Meier could deliver the news likely didn't help with the rates.
"I get that Noah. I really do. What happened at Earth was a tragedy, and the death toll is nearly 800 million. You could likely gather a group of ten or so humans from anywhere, and one of them lost someone close to them. I'll...do my best to raise their spirits, there's plenty to talk about here. The alien diplomats just aren't making this easy..." Meier gestured to the clearly forming bloc of neutral species dignitaries that gathered in the room. They did not seem to want to talk further on any support of Earth until some demands were met, mostly on why things were kept so information-blackout heavy at first. The speech would have to be twofold, at raising human refugees' spirits, and at convincing some of the touchy species to support Earth.
His work was cut out for him.
"Did you wish for any assistance on that front, Meier?" Noah offered. His kindness shone through even in the depths of despair that wore
itself on humanity currently. His soul was purely sweet and kind, regardless of his predator disposition, I so deeply respected that about him.
They began to talk shop, Noah mentioning his current experiences with human refugees upon Venlil Prime, and what topics Meier ought to add on and hit on in his speech. As rushed of advice as it was, Meier seemed determined to fit it in somehow, but I knew he had a silver tongue, his capability to navigate and convince was downright bewildering, present company excepted of course. Nothing would get those species over his diet anytime soon, so I could only hope he could appeal to their empathy as another sentient in this case.
I believed in them. If anyone could turn the state of the galaxy around, it would be these two.
Memory transcription subject: Dorian Abder, Commons Member of Parliament
Date [standardized human time]: October 22, 2136
I sat on my desk, watching out the window of my office at the Westminster Palace, reminiscing on the sad scene outside. Another body under cloth cover, wheeled out on a stretcher from a home surrounded by paramedics. Another swept up in despair, seeing the state of our beautiful planet, of our populace, so brutally scarred, enough to take their own life.
How many was it, so far? Nearly a half-percent suicide rate for every hundred thousand in England? More than eight times the highest resting rate in our entire history. And we were hardly hit in comparison to the rest of the world...how are they doing if it's this bad here?
I leaned back in my chair, back cracking in old age, forcing myself away from the scene outside. I tried to not think about it, just tried to focus again on my work. On the coordination efforts with the UN, the Arxur, and any other races seeking to help. But it was a mountain of work ahead, a peak of papers I could barely see myself climbing in an entire week, let alone the mere day it was handed down here.
We've all lost someone. Not a single soul hasn't been touched by the Federation's bombing.
I thought about how the targeting of cities took. How they focused so heavily on Africa and Asia, the most booming corridors of population on Earth. How they erased 78 cities from existence before their fleet was devastated by The Sword. They weren't aiming to cripple humanity, on industrial depots and power plants, but to exterminate us. They aimed for the most populated cities first, before taking potshots at what remained.
Being put to the death by The Sword serves them right, they deserved judgement by that blade for what they had done.
Or, rather, the Nemesis, as reports had given us. A human ship, but not quite our humanity. A time traveler conveniently sent here by accident, saving us from extinction. An AI piloted ship that sought now to reunite with Earth having defended us. Given what remained of our Guardian Angel, I sought to do everything I could to make their welcome home a celebration, for they defended humanity in our darkest hour.
I recalled my journeys around the globe as a younger man. How my endless wanderlust took me to every corner of the globe in the wake of the Satellite Wars. How the global power vacuum led to so much relief efforts, as the less-touched nations finally had room to breathe, the canopy of carefully controlled superpowers no longer eating up their light needed to grow. How African countries like South Africa and Niger found themselves expanding to match the designation of First World. How beautiful the Seychelles were to see in person.
How my volunteering in the UN's Unfurled Umbrella Initiatives after the Treaty of Shanghai took me to the partially collapsed countries amidst Asia. How Tokyo, despite its immense infrastructure failure, dragged itself back to a powerhouse of a city, as Japan built for itself after so long. How China's government reformed into a Republic after the post-war coups, and how Taiwan finally opened its heart more to them for it. How Beijing found itself all the stronger for adversity.
How the South and Central Americas found themselves no longer under the impressive hand of the United States' geopolitical influence. How the first Diaspora vessels took off from Argentina, seeking to establish a government sentenced only to the annals of history on Earth upon the distant surfaces of Mars. How they were so determined to prove the world wrong on its presuppositions of how a place should be ruled, free of the influence of bullying countries. And how their dream led to the now Martian Collective.
I thought of all the other places the UN took me. Of Cairo, and its deep connection to our most prominent civilization of the ancient past. Of Istanbul, to see the beauty of mixing Christian and Islamic influence over centuries of swapping hands. Of the stunning ports of Singapore, an industrial powerhouse of a nation, so tightly packed into one single city. Of the stunning silver forest of skyscrapers that was New York City, still kicking even after the devastation of the Satellite Wars. Mumbai, Baghdad, Lagos, Mogadishu, Guadalajara, Rio De Janeiro, Berlin. How I drank in all the beauty and magnificent history and culture of the world, and was all the fuller a person for it. These and so many more.
I thought of the honey farmer I met by the Saigon River; how Châu Được's family had kept the traditional job going for so long, and divinely sweet their harvest was they shared with me. I thought of Dari Qazi, how the humble Afghani-borne man had found himself at the forefront of a secular revolution in Pakistan, reaching unrivaled progress not seen since the 1980's. I remembered the ambitious young woman in Monterrey, Mexico, who talked to me of her dreams to build spaceships for the Diaspora program, how she wished dearly she could leave a mark on history, and how now her name was on the finest rockets of the age.
All gone. Dust on the wind. Atomized debris now. Their homes, their families, their history gone, according to reports of which cities have evaporated to bedrock.
Thousands of years of history, erased in moments by antimatter over Rome. Los Angeles was reduced to the basin it was built on those long years ago in America. Cape Town's hard fought for progress from humble beginnings to the most populous and prosperous city in all of Africa, wiped from the record in an instant. Seven-hundred and eighty million dead in the span of an hour.
All those years spent, traveling around the world, drinking in the sights, to know they will never return. To know they are gone and buried, snuffed out by a bloody cruel universe, filled with utterly contemptible aliens. A deep voice spoke inside me on a loop, constantly asking an enraging question.
"Did it all mean nothing to you, Dorian?"
There was only one answer I considered giving to that accusation. To the monsters that took so many lives and homes from humanity, merely for having the gall to eat differently. What answered back blistered with hatred, yet kept frigidly focused.
"It meant everything to me."
Something clicked inside; the Federation wouldn't get away with this. We deserved justice. I rustled through my desk drawers, looking for old contacts from my political days. The stacks of papers on my desk could wait, this was more important. I needed to make some calls. Humanity deserved better, and I knew just how we could get it. But it would require a far more coordinated effort than just me. No, it needed a movement.
The galaxy will hear us. One way or another, we deserve justice. And we have just the circumstances to deliver it...
Memory transcription subject: Governor Tarva of the Venlil Republic
Date [standardized human time]: October 22, 2136
"-the sting of these days will someday pass. Maybe not in the near future, maybe not even in our lifetime, but we will one day no longer feel his pain, this suffering. Until that day comes, we will not go gently into that dark night, we will live on, mourn our dead, defend those still living, and make humanity known to the galaxy that it will not roll over when faced with such hostility. To those who support us even now, I thank you deeply to the core, and ask for a moment of silence to those lost both above and on Earth...to those who would stand with the Federation, who did so cruelly act upon us, we urge you to reconsider, and turn away, for we bring not a olive branch, but a sword. Those species governments that did this will not get away with this, and those who stood aside and watched...either choose a side, or be labeled on one for your inaction. Thank you."
Meier finished his speech with that, and some applause was heard from human refugees amidst the crowd, but a majority remained mostly quiet, in remembrance of the lives lost. A good majority of the dignitaries from the Federation neutral races had already left by this point, so the pointed message at the end likely missed them personally, even if they listen in later. It was a good speech, but it felt...infused with something that was clearly not Meier's normal calm. It was like seeing a side I had never seen with him before, not rant-angry, but mad nevertheless, hidden behind a veneer of diplomatic politeness.
Noah put it in terms I thought best as Meier walked off stage. "You're a bit more of a firebrand than I thought Meier, but nevertheless a good speech! I'm glad you tied in what advice I could give for the refugees here so smoothly."
Meier smiled at that, a cathartic smile that spoke of being proud of what he delivered just a moment ago. I could only imagine he was aching with tension over the pain of so much loss of life, it was only fair that he be angry at the galaxy at large for it, and make it heard.
"Thank you, Noah. I sincerely mean every word of it. The Federation must not escape scot-free for what they have done, and already now at home we're preparing to bring the fight back to them." He looked at me. "We'll...obviously not go as far as the Federation did, but I speak for everyone in that humanity is not happy, and it shows. Even the refugees that came here looking a mere instant from giving up seem a bit resolved now to that goal. I just wish more were on our side to start...I never wanted war, but the galaxy's forcing it."
"I'm so sorry, Meier. My deepest sympathies for how the galaxy has treated you and yours. Despite the hiccups recently, I guarantee we'll still remain close allies; humanity deserves nothing less."
The remainder of the species in the remembrance assembly started to funnel out; it was mostly just humans and Venlil at this point, but a few stuck around. The Yotul ambassador, Laulo, was an obvious one amongst the stragglers, clearly meaning to talk with Meier and us further. As the room became more and more empty he walked over to us once again.
"Meier! Your speech was wonderful, full of spice and vigor, yet calming all the same. It was like a call to arms while smoking spiritwood. The Federation stragglers hopefully will reconsider!"
I felt a little weirded out by his choice of focus in the speech on The Federation, rather than humanity, but I responded in Meier's stead positively: "Yes, Meier's an expert in political and social matters. Anyways, what did you want? You seem to be just hanging around, waiting for a moment here."
"Ah...yes, about that..." Ambassador Laulo nervously tugged at his uniform. "I was sent here initially just in good faith for humanity, as we knew what it must've felt like for the Federation to bully you so immensely. But this second visit, to the gala itself...we actually want to propose something to Humanity and the Venlil, but I wanted to wait for Federation sympathizing eyes and ears to be far away from here first."
He looked somewhat desperate, but resolved. "We're planning on breaking off from the Federation. Their influence on our planet is awful, given what they've done to us during the uplift. They seek to repress our culture, they constantly call us backward, and primitive, hardly capable of thinking for our own in this galaxy. We're tired of it, but we still are partially relying on their technological development to get to this point, and we don't have a proper fleet made. Your space is closest to ours, and we hoped-"
Meier finished "-that'd we begin our war fronting towards Leirn first? Free your people from the Federation? I'll gladly bring it up with our military advisors. You helped us, we help you back."
Laulo sighed in relief at that, a huge weight taken off their shoulders. "T-thank you. Thank you so much for this. Leirn has sought to be free of their grasp ever since we learned their intentions were not pure. You've been the first species to actually care to some degree, and were our only hope out of this mess."
"Don't thank us just yet. If you'd like to get in contact with our military, I can set you up with some Generals and your government as a liason for the war. You can coordinate anything on your side of the bargain to us through them, and make this smoother." Meier handed him a card, and waved over a human attendant of his to Laulo. She talked with him as the two walked away, and Meier remained.
Noah turned to me, a warm hand scruffing my fur. "I know the state of things doesn't look too great, love, but it could be so much worse. We'll make due with what we can get, and hopefully the galaxy will be a better place for it. Don't worry, all will be well someday."
I believed him. Who wouldn't believe in humanity?
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The idea : Make a HFY stories without other species and take place on modern day earth, the goal highlight the most important component of humans, Humanity

Trigger warning : Heavy Suicide Theme

As Dr James walks to the rooms, he takes one deep breath. “Good morning Rudy, how was your sleep last night ?” he said from near the opened door. Rudy sight is now directed toward the incoming voice from the door. He sees one man in white robe holding a tablet accompanied by male nurse in his back*. Ah, here come the doctor’s.*
“I don’t want to talk with you, I just want to be gone from this world”, followed by shrieks from the patient. “I don’t have any reason to live, please let me goo”, *useless me can’t even finish the job*. The sentence is followed by a loud growl from Rudy as he tries to escape the bed restraints put on him.
The doctor was taken aback by such a strong reaction, Rudy can see that doctor James' face changes from a slight smile to what he assumes is the doctor's thinking face. “Aah I know !! Jamal, can you watch Mr Rudy for me? I have to take something from the outside” as James voice breaks the awkward silence that hangs in the room. Rudy is confused by the doctor's reaction.
Doctor James leaves the room as is, *no one wants to help me anyway*. Rudy could not help but to feel disappointment at the doctor as he went out, doesn’t matter my time here is short anyway. The room is filled again with silent awkwardness as the black nurse just stood in the door watching Rudy every moment. His brilliant brown eyes looking sharply at him, he felt nervous, *please let me go* .
After what felt like eternity the doctor came back to the room with one bag in his hand and laptop in another, *looks like a new model from zeon*. “Is that zeon zenith 12? “ his mouth bluntly said, *wait, noo?!!*. Dr James stopped by his bedside, looking a little bit surprised and quickly nodded “Yes, this is zeon zenith 12, are you a tech enthusiast ?”. Rudy did not answer, he gazed away from the doctor. “Well, looks like you know some tech update for the very least”.
Scrieeek……….. . “Ach…!!” Rudy covered his ear as the sound of metal chair scraping the floor ring aloud. “Ooh sorry Rudy, I did not know you’re sensitive to loud noises, i’ll be careful next time ” as doctor James stops the chair movement. Rudy stays silent, as Dr James takes a seat on a chair beside his bed. “So I know you don’t want to talk to me about your problem right now” James then grabbed the food table, “So instead why don’t we just watch some cute cat video i curated for this”.
Rudy turn his head back to James again this time confused looks clearly drawn in his face, is*n’t his job try to talk me out of suicide?*. “You want to talk about your problem now?” Rudy then looks away again from the doctor “Yeah I thought so. So why don’t we just watch this video and for a moment forget everything about the problem and just watch the video ?” Rudy did not turn his gazes, *how could i forget it if only bad things happened to my life?.*
His face began to puff up as he held back tears, “Alright if you don’t want to, I’ll watch it myself”. Meowing can be heard from his back, wait he seriously does it ?!. Rudy turn back his gaze toward the doctors with a slightly furious face, he looks focused on the video that played from his laptop. As doctor James looks back at him “want to watch ?” Rudy once again threw his gazes away. “Alright ” bruk.., the sound of the heavy laptop being placed in the food table and the sound of meowing continue. Rudy tried to look away still, but the cute voice made him curious, and feel awed. He finally looks at the video playing, he looks at the laptop intentley, almost like a child watching their favorite cartoons.
Rudy for this moment in time and space, he forget his problems, his shitty work at john’s pizza, his loud and inconsiderate upstair neighbor, his neighborhood that is brimming with trash and the gunshot he hears every night, his nonexistent love life, his friend who left him after uni, his grade from uni and highschool, his parents, and his past. For this moment he lives in the present, not overthinking about the past or the future.
They watch the video, both attentive in their own way, transfixed to the screen like a moth to a lamp. Through dozens of cute cat compilation videos they watch together, his face begins to relax from constant fury and agony to a more neutral tone. Then finally without realizing it he, smiled a little.
Chee-klick, a bright flash hit him. His arms reflectively move to cover his face but can’t because of the arm restrained to his bed. “Hey, why are you take a photo of me without **my permission !!!**”. “Oh I’m sorry for that, I just saw you smiling while watching the video so I need to take that” James explained. “I smile ??” Rudy asked as he felt dumbfounded by the word. “Mhemmm, here’s take a look “ Dr james then flip his phone and let Rudy take a look at his screen.
*I smile, does that mean i don’t want to die, no no no that can’t be right i want to die i can’t feel happiness anymore, if life is not happy then, then…..* . “Ah you know looking at it again you smile looks beautiful so I hope i can see more of your smile” Dr James said with a big smile on his face.
Now that Rudy takes a look at his face, he sees it now, his face. His bright eyes that are colored like sapphire, his blonde hair looks like it was made from gold, his face is soft but unmistakable masculine quality, his dark green shirt underneath his white robe. From his broken mind he sees a hope in the form of what seems like an angel to him. *He is… handsome*. His tan cheek is now adorned with light pink.
“Well that is one of the reasons, the other one is I need to make a report to Stephen charities that finance your stay in here”, *ah well that makes more sense*. His face gets back to a neutral tone. “Well, if you want to remove the photo, I can make an ex…”, “No, just give them the photo I can’t pay with my saving, and my insurance will probably not give the money” Rudy said with a stern voice, his face followed similarly but James can notice a hint of Sadness in there.
“With your consent, oh and also our session must end here i’m afraid, i have another appointment scheduled ” As dr James looked at his tablet that he brought from the beginning. “Don’t worry we have another session tomorrow” dr james put the tablet in the bag and shutting down his laptop. “Tomorrow our session will start at 8.30 am and end at 10.30 am so about 30 minutes off from today”. Dr James, who has already finished picking up his stuff then looks at Rudy, “So I hope you look forward to our session tomorrow”.
“Wait doctor James”James stops on his way to the door as he hears his patient call. ” I look forward to it too, and and thank you for today!” Rudy said as he shut his eyes out of embarrassment. “Yeah, your welcome, see you tomorrow Mr Rudy” unbeknownst to Rudy who still closed his eyes, James is smiling now just a little and more genuine.
“Come on Jamal , let’s go” creek.. The sound of the closing door allows Rudy to open his eyes again. Rudy began to process what just happened in his first season, “Is it that easy to actually made me not commit?, do I still have the will to live or does he give it to me?,”, and the last thought made him flustered “did i get charmed by him ?”.
As he overthink his head began to hurt “Stupid Rudy, very stupid"he muttered to himselt. "Well, if I survive and become a burden, I will make sure he take for his responsibility in this”
Hello everyone, i hope you enjoy this short story. The idea come to me after reading a lot of HFY that put emphasis on human physical traits. I feel like there is a need of hfy stories that focused on what i think the most impressive part of human Humanity and our bonds. I'm also intrigued by the idea of HFY story that is based on modern 21st century without no magic or alien, i feel like we human are already impressive now without any exageration of circumtances or another species to be compared too.
I'm gonna remind you all that our path to get here is literally unique and very impressive, and even without sci-fi tech we already have control of this earth akin to God. And even though our future is fraught with uncertainty, the odds are with us. Our form maybe flawed, but so does this universe so let us reach the infinite together !!.

I've started this post so many times. I don't know if I have the right words. But I feel like I'm grieving the loss of someone who never existed. To me, my husband was the only person in my life that loved me for me. That wouldn't hurt me. Wouldn't laugh at me. Wouldn't revel in my pain.
Now I find that's what he's been doing behind my back for over 10 years. He's been purposefully ignoring me to be online to look at real women who are half his age. To create AI versions of the perfect woman. To share those images with other men who laugh at how a real woman could never compete with these pretend people. He's even played role-playing games where he takes the perfect woman he created on dates, buys her gifts and brings her back to hotels.
Meanwhile, I am downstairs for hours, alone, watching The Office for the hundredth time because he said he would be with me in a minute. I don't get dates, or hotels, or gifts.
I was in love with him, every day, for 20 years. I had butterflies in my stomach every day when he looked at me. I felt sparks when he touched me. I complimented his appearance every morning (which wasn't often reciprocated) and I told him I wanted him. I've always had a high libido and I've always been the one to initiate sex in our relationship, but he's rejected me over and over again. Even made me feel like I was the one with the problem because I was reaching out to him for sex so often. After 7 years of a dead bedroom, I stopped initiating.
Then 3 months ago, I found about the porn and everything fell into place.
I've always been a very open and independent person, I've never nagged him. Or told him what he could or couldn't do. I've always told him exactly what was on my mind, never hidden anything. I've only ever had two rules for our relationship and that was don't cheat and don't lie and he has skirted the line of those two rules. He has gone as far as he could possibly go without breaking those two rules.
He's seeking help, he's got rid of his computer, tablet and everything apart from his phone. He says it's like he had another dark side that he's glad to be rid of. He says we both need to be trying to fix this. I don't have the energy.
But I don't think he understands my grief. It comes on like waves, where I scream and shout and cry like a child. Because, to me, my husband has gone. He keeps telling me that he's here, but he's not. Because the man that I loved would never have hurt me like that. Would never have pushed the boundaries of the only rules I put in place for our relationship. And I just don't know where the person I loved for the last 20 years has gone.
Does anyone else feel like that? Does the feeling ever go away?

Before I say anything else, thank you to everyone who celebrated with me :) I don’t talk about my writing much IRL and I appreciate having a community to share this with so much. You guys rock.
Okay that said I AM LOSING MY WHOLE MIND. I’ve been working under the assumption that my fic is doing, like, okay for something niche. I think it’s a weird, painfully self-indulgent story with plenty of off-putting tags and weird scenes/plot points and I kind of felt like most people were gliding right past it because of that.
Y’all. My fic is in the top 3% of all Naruto fics for kudos and the top 0.3% for hits. I have no idea what to do with this information.
Some things that I think make this insane in no particular order: it’s a gender bent fic; it’s an underaged fic that is BRUTAL about reminding you of that fact in ways that make your stomach knot up, with multiple of my readers comparing it to Nabokov; the fandom is past its heyday and I’m competing with YEARS of other fics; it goes against a TON of advice and common preferences expressed in /NarutoFanfiction; it is not one of the most popular pairings; it’s a fandom about fucking NINJAS and I can’t write action for shit; I started publishing only about a year ago; and finally—I cannot emphasize enough how crazy this part is to me—I HAVE NEVER FINISHED THE CANON. I finished the Pain arc while high as balls, had the thought “fuck this why isn’t Naruto a girl” and never looked back. (Wait, actually, you know what else is crazy? This is such a slow fucking burn that where I’m at (600k words in), the main characters still haven’t even had penetrative sex T.T and people are still reading this nonsense??)
I’m finishing up my career in STEM academia atm; I have stood in front of hundreds of people to prattle on about fucking frogs and am no stranger to imposter syndrome. But this is INTENSE imposter syndrome. I want to tap every single person who has left kudos on my fic on the shoulder and ask them wtf they were thinking. Clearly they must have slipped and hit the button by accident. If they knew I was just me they wouldn’t be reading. I only have any real talent when I’m hypomanic and as I learn to manage my illness, my episodes are getting less intense and further apart, and soon everyone will realize I’m a terrible writer. Probably the way hits work on AO3 is that it’s per chapter, so everyone who reads the whole thing is ~150 hits.
Even just writing it all out makes me feel so much better T.T It just feels like there’s been a huge mistake!
Below this is just answers to common questions I got on my last post, so if you’re still reading my rambling, don’t feel like you need to keep going. <3 thank you so much for listening to me.
Word count: current 600k, 50k in drafts, ~200k after that to go
Hits: ~100k (around #400 out of ~123k fics)
Kudos: ~1550 (around top 2,500)
Summary: (Official) Kakashi is forced to confront his profound and inappropriate affection for his dead mentor's daughter when a traumatic event lands her sleeping on his couch; a love story about broken people finding their missing pieces in one another. (Unofficial) It’s like a character study drama about intergenerational trauma and recovery? An obsessive slowburn dark romance? Just me fantasizing about having had someone to love me unconditionally and pick up my pieces after my childhood sexual abuse? Idk I feel like I just picked up my favorite blorbos like paper dolls and made them kiss T.T

I'm walking through a bustling underground train station. I push and shove my way through all the other commuters onto the platform. As I look around, there seems to be endless rows of platforms in both directions, stretching well into a dense fog. Further ahead, neat lines of railway tracks extend out from the fog and through the platforms. I instinctually look up at the info screen
Next train in ### minutes
I furrow my brow, squint to try and focus on the numbers but they're heavily pixelated and illegible. I look around at the other commuters, who stream onto the platform completely unaware of the anomaly. Most people are on their phone, or wearing headphones while some are talking to each other. No one seems to notice the malfunction with the screen.
That's when the absurdity of the situation clicks for me. Endless platforms, a wall of fog, unreadable numbers and people that don't care. It's all a dream. I bring my hand up to my face and pinch my nose, trying to breathe through it. An old reality check I remembered from back when I was trying to learn to lucid dream.
My heart rate jumped when I realised, that I couldn't breathe through my nose. Before I could even process this, another problem presented itself. I didn't know why I was here. I didn't know where I was going and I definitely did not know how I even got here. It seems as if reality ceased to exist right before I walked onto this platform. Just like it typically feels in a dream, you spawn in out of nowhere and don't really know what happened prior - except this wasn't a dream.
I knew I was sure of it because deep inside my bones I felt this anxious urgent message. I need to catch this train. It was a primal feeling.
At this point, my head is spinning and I need to sit down somewhere. I choose a silver bench with a middle aged woman sitting on it. She shuffles further to the left as I sit down next to her clutching my head and racking my brain to try and figure out what it is happening. This is what amnesia feels like, I thought to my self as I gnawed at scraps of messy muddled memories. Each image that came into my mind was just a fragment - A school, a library, sickeningly white walls. It hit me that I didn't even know my name. I was starting to hyperventilate but then my body kicked into autopilot. I started to take deep breaths, focusing on my diaphragm and calming myself down. It felt like I was trained to do this. I started to focus on the current situation.
Where was my ticket? Instinctually, I knew I had to have gotten one on my entry to the train station. I reached into my pockets and pulled out a scrap of paper. Scrawled in very familiar cursive:
*In case of memory loss, read the journal in your backpack*
Strange message but I didn't have any choice then to at least give the instructions a try. I removed my backpack and rummaged through it for the journal. I wouldn't really call it a backpack - more a tattered and frayed bundle of cloth that was reminiscent of a backpack. I finally found a series of small thick journals, bundled in cloth with their leather covers on the verge of disintegration. The pages still seemed in good condition though. Each cover was sequentially labelled which I'm guessing corresponded to the chronological order of the writings within.
The lady next to me was weirdly getting agitated. She kept stealing glances, her body shaking and eyes burning with a fierce rage. I slowly got up from the bench and began to step backwards. My backpack bumped into a pillar. The dull thud it made seemed to cause a drastic change to everyone around me though. They all snapped their heads, locking eyes on me and staring through my very soul. I felt exposed.
The rumble of an arriving train stole away their attention and within a split second everyone was ignoring me again, going back to their usual activities. It seriously felt like I had just imagined it and it was becoming more and more clear that I was having some sort of mental breakdown. Nevertheless, as the train slowed to a stop on the platform, I walked into it and found a seat. The train seemed to be old and new at the same time. Typical blue seats with abstract dirty patterns complete with a modern sleek interior of gentle curves clashing with a boxy dull metallic exterior and doors that looked like they belonged on a rusty submarine.
I opened the first of the journals and began to read. I soon realised that the handwriting was mine and within the next few moments I was attacked by a barrage of memories that had remained repressed and buried in the back of my mind.
*
My name is Jacob and I have been stuck here in this place called *The Limbo* for an eternity. When I say 'eternity', I don't mean it lightly. Back when I used to keep track I counted over 500 years through my wristwatch that never seemed to run out of battery. Now I know counting is meaningless. There have been periods like this where my mind falls into a deep trance and I lose my whole identity as I mindlessly wander in this place much like the entities that inhabit it. Occasional periods of lucidity breach this trance and then I find myself lost and confused. It's why I keep the journals with me. I think its some sort of psychological survival mechanism that human brains develop when faced with the infinite vastness of The Limbo.
Speaking of The Limbo, I've come to learn a few things about its nature through my stay here. Some of its been through people that I've come across (Yes others are also stuck here) and some has been through my own experiences. Perhaps the most important is the question of where I get my food and water. The answer is weird. I have never felt hungry or thirsty. The sensation of having cool water slide down my throat remains a memory so distant that it feels like the snippet of a childhood dream.
I guess the next natural topic about this place would be time. Through various experiences of mine (that you'll get to read about) and discussions with others, the leading theory of mine is that The Limbo exists outside of time itself. While I myself have fallen here sometime during 2001, I've met many others from various years like the 80s, 90s and even one recent fellow from 2043.
Most people in The Limbo eventually fall into a trance, withering away until they become one of the entities or become mere tools for them. It's probably naive but I keep going through this place with only two hopes. The first is to somehow get out of here at the right time point and see my son, who I never got to see. The second is to come out of this place and die so that I no longer have to live out the empty agony of eternity (I'll explain how you can't age or die in The Limbo later). Perhaps my hopes will dwindle as the centuries pile and I will become just like those who I look upon in pity now.
I am writing this consolidated diary of my experiences for several reasons. I'd like someone to know of my unending journey in this place. To be aware of the capacity of the human spirit to keep going in the worst of situations. I have never had a long term friend in The Limbo, but know that I consider you the reader a dear friend even if I never get to meet you because you will know my story. I'm also sharing this in hopes that there is more awareness of The Limbo. Perhaps the military and scientists can actually figure out what it is. Perhaps all of us can be brought home. Or maybe this can serve as a survival guide to those who may be unfortunate enough to fall through.
There are small holes in The Limbo. Most of them are barely large enough for a pinkie finger to fit in let alone a person, but sometimes I've come across one large enough for this journal to go through. I'm not sure what time or place these holes lead to, so the safe passage of this book into a person capable of reading it has about the same chances as me ever leaving this place.
The train I'm on supposedly leads to the edge of The Limbo, where the holes are large enough for humans to fit through. It's really more of a legend amongst the poor souls that are trapped here and I've followed trails and clues for a long time to even find this train.
There are only two ways this goes. Both outcomes would lead to you reading this book in your hands. I'll either find my way out of this hell or give up hope and slip this journal through a Hole. You will find my fate at the end.
I should stop rambling now though. It would be best to start at the very beginning.
*
I was rushing out of work in pure ecstasy. My wife had gone into labor while I was at work and been rushed to hospital. I needed to get there fast. People were glancing over at me over their cubicles in confusion as I packed up my work bag and rushed out to the elevators. I couldn't stop thinking about seeing my first son as the elevator made its way down. The elevator doors finally opened and I rushed out.
The ground entrance of the building I worked at, particularly near the lobby, is an intersection of various hallways. I was already walking to close to the wall when someone came rushing around the corner and bumped me right into the wall. I was only able to hear half their apology when I fell *through* the wall like it was just a holographic projection. In hindsight, I find it oddly funny how easy it is for a life to get ruined. Just when you think you've got it all, when everything is going smoothly, a small incident like that is enough to take it all away.
I found myself in a room that resembled a classroom. It looked as if someone who had never stepped inside a classroom was asked to imagine the space. Desks were arranged in messy uneven rows with the chairs facing various directions. The board at the front of the room was a seamless patchy mixture of both chalk and modern whiteboard and mounted way too low on the wall, nearly hugging the floor. A large teachers desk sat in the front of the room. The walls were filled with posters of absolute gibberish along with diagrams and pictures that seemed like they showed something tangible but no matter how close you looked you could never identify anything in the picture.
The initial confusion was replaced by an immense panic. My heart was drumming against my chest as I searched the room for a doorway to exit it. My mind was trying to rationalise the situation. I was trying to convince myself that this was just some old part of the building and I had fallen into a hallway instead of the wall.
I ran through the doorway at the far end of the room and found myself in a large hallway that seemed to extend forever in both directions. The walls were a muted grey and the floors were that typical dirty linoleum. Soon I would find out that the regularly spaced doorways on either side of the hall led to other nonsensical classrooms.
I ran down the hallway screaming for help in pure panic, which was a terrible mistake in hindsight. I stopped running down the hallway when I suddenly heard the distinct scratch of chalk against board. In this large empty space, the sound echoed and boomed. Since I was still refusing to buy in to the reality of the situation, my hopes were momentarily increased by the supposed presence of another person here.
I slowly walked over to the doorway that the sounds were coming from. My stomach filled with an uneasy dread. This deep primal instinct within me urged me to hold back. I peeked carefully in the classroom and saw a woman with their back turned to me drawing something on the chalkboard.
It took me a few moments to notice that it was a very realistic portrait of my face.
She was drawing lines across my throat, her long dark hair swaying as she drew in the details. The drawing was completed with a terrible slash across the throat, blood gurgling out. I was frozen in place, transfixed on the hauntingly beautiful realism of the picture.
She began to turn around slowly while humming a high pitched tune. To this day I can't describe the face I saw. It is still etched into my mind. A face full of so much hatred, so much anger that I don't think its possible for a human to make that face. It expressed an emotion beyond human understanding. No artist in the world could ever render the expression on the paper. No words could describe the pure fear that coursed through my veins as she stared at me and began to approach.
I turned around to run, only to realise that a bunch of school children had gathered around me. They were headless, the bleeding stumps dripping thick blood onto the floor in a rhythmic patter. Somehow they were laughing.
I shoved through the group and ran down the hallway. I wasn't sure where I was going. My whole world had shattered and now I was completely aimless in some nonsense dimension with horrors beyond imagination that wanted me dead.
*
The extract above is from this journal I found at the foot of a large tree on a hiking trail. It's a miracle that I spotted its faded leather cover given that it was almost buried under rotting leaves. I really don't know what to make of what I'm reading, so I'll be slowly transcribing bits of it in separate posts over the next few days.
I know this subreddit is good for this sort of stuff. I'd love if someone else could share anything they know about The Limbo. This whole journal feels like some sort of prank, but the words and memories within feel way too real.
I can't help but feel a connection to this story. My mum doesn't speak much of my Dad, who I know left before I was born. No one ever found out where he went.
I was born in 2001
X

First: https://www.reddit.com/HFY/comments/14vo5lb/troublemakers_deaths_pity/
*previous:* https://www.reddit.com/HFY/comments/1crq34h/troublemakers_buried_secrets_bolster_the_weak/
......
Go'mon strutted around the command center, a cape of deep purple silk flowing about his shoulders as he wore his gilded armor. An ornate helmet underneath one arm, the faceplate forged into the visage of a snarling Rak'nal beast. He peered over the shoulders of drone pilots, observing the carnage on the streets in front of the mansion. His black scimitar hung at his belt, the palm of his war gauntlet resting on the hilt, eyebrow crests rising as he saw the expeditionary general's Buzzard explode.
"Casualty report on General Gra'vos?"
He stated to the small Geknosian woman who deftly piloted her drone closer to the wreckage to pull data from the onboard recorder. Her eyes sparkled, reflected in the screen as the data was streamed directly into her brain through a neural implant.
"Deceased, Just like you planned, his provided pleasure slave threw him from the craft and stole the det-sphere you clipped to his belt. You seem to know a lot about how these humans fight."
Go'mon touched the small grooves underneath the elastomer skin of his face where that parasite had shot him with a concealed gun. He laughed bloodily and purred.
"Failure is the greatest teacher in the universe, these parasites have taught me everything they know. Now we just need to see what their true fighting strength is."
"Understood sir, orders?"
"Get a view on the inner courtyard and report to the commanders of the second and third waves their positions and weaponry."
A young lieutenant called out.
"Sir! Twelve UHM-60 Blackhawks en-route to the enemy base! Advise!"
Go'mon stalked over, peering over the satellite observer's shoulder as he followed a chevron of twelve helicopters loaded down with ancient, obsolete human war-droids. He rapped the claws of his war gauntlet against the handle of his scimitar with a purr.
"Send orders to Commander Mar'tek to equip three of his Gallicks with anti-air weaponry, and orders for Commander Rak'don to equip his light attack craft with visual lock on missiles."
"Yes sir, relaying orders now."
Go'mon patted his subordinate on the shoulder hard enough to make them wince as he stepped back to gaze up at the massive map of Golgotha on the big screen. Small purple dots converging on a black dot that symbolized the human base of operations. He noticed that Mar'tek's forces were delayed, having only made it roughly halfway to their staging area. Walking over to the Comm's desk he asked.
"What's taking Commander Mar'tek so long to get into position?"
"A small group of human Saboteurs dropped a pair of buildings across the roadway, they're still clearing the rubble sir."
Go'mon nodded, picking idly at his metal teeth with the sharp point of his war gauntlet's index finger.
"Hm... I thought the parasite's response was oddly punctual, color me surprised they had the wherewithal to keep scouts. Move Mar'tek to the rear of the attack plan and tell Rak'don he's up next."
"Yessir!"
Go'mon chuckled haughtily, exiting the command room and returning to his field office. Setting his helmet on top of his desk he picked up the communication stick for sylva.
"Sylva, Would you kindly deal with that gate once you've landed?~"
There was a pause before.
"I'm too injured to follow that order sir."
Go'mon raised an eyebrow crest at the monotone voice that echoed back through the device.
"you've never refused a command before darling, would you kindly take care of the gate?"
The pause was longer this time, much longer this time. Then, a different, much younger voice came through, filled with fear, but also tainted with determination.
"Fuck you, Go'mon. These are our friends."
The sound of penny whistles and drums accompanied the words before the comms device popped in his gauntlet with the sound of a musket shot. Impossibly thick gray smoke pulsing from the speaker as he snarled and tossed it to the side.
"Bobby, Would you be a dear and retrieve your sister for me?"
The almost seven foot tall brute slowly nodded, eyes dull behind his ceramite mask as he stomped from the command center, bulky combat armor clattering and clunking with each step. Go'mon pressed his metal teeth together with a hiss. That damned warrior corrupted everything he touched with delusions of free will. Go'mon grabbed a fungal cigar from the box General Da'kos had given him as a thank you gift. The sweet, smoky flavor filling his maw as he lit it with the glowing hot blade of his gauntlet's thumb. He relaxed into his chair, flicking his cape out from beneath him as he enjoyed the cigar to relieve some momentary stress. His body suddenly flared with tingling power as the voice of Conquest growled in his ear.
"Kill that boy before he realises your plan. if he finds out your intentions he won't hold back."
Go'mon puffed the cigar and pulled it from his lips, letting it burst into purple flames and crumble away into cinders as he rose from his chair. He stepped out into the command center and commanded.
"Get me a buzzard to that battlefield, Order's from Conquest herself!"
There was a moment of silence as he let his aura roll over the command room, several of the comms officers immediately setting up a Buzzard for his departure.
...
Dust kicked off the ground as Drake's jump pack slowed his fall meters above the ground, He hit the ground and tore it from his back, whipping it into a group of soldiers and hitting it with a jet of pale flames.
The pack detonated in ball of orange fire that vaporized the soldiers, his cape fluttering in the backdraft before he whipped his sword from it's sheath, keen edges wreathed in pale flames as he took a Geknosian's arm off at the elbow as they tried to stuff a blaster pistol in his face. He snatched the blaster pistol from the air, using it to put a kinetic bolt into the faceplate of a powerarmored soldier with a Warhammer, Crumpling it inwards as he slid a foot back, another warhammer crashing into the ground where he'd just been standing. Another kinetic bolt tore off the soldier's pauldron as the hammer swung up at his face, making him reel back as another hammerhead caught him at the small of his back and knocked the air from his lungs. Another hammer slammed into his faceplate, forcing him to kick himself into a flip to land back on his feet. Ears ringing he deflected a Warhammer with his sword before putting another blaster bolt into the wielder's faceplate. But even as they fell back, another hammerblow hit the side of his helmet and smacked him down. Drake rolled out of the way as twenty millimeter high-explosive rounds shredded his assailants, allowing him to get to his feet as the war-bots formed a lethal semicircle, sending high explosive firepowerinto the rear column of the Geknosian assault at a blistering pace. Drake shook his head clear and vaulted over the back of one, hearing it's gun fall silent as he landed in it's cone of fire. Several flowing chops decimated a small squad of Geknosians as he tried to fight his way to the center of the column where the Gallicks hammered the gate with kinetic penetrators. The armored gate shuddering with each blow as Drake dodged war gauntlets and hammers, retaliating with fast slashes and blinding thrusts. Purple blood drenching him as his heart began to pound with battle lust.
He heard a mighty roar and crackle as one of the flying machines opened up with it's chin gun, harassing a gallick with 20mm High explosive rounds to get it's attention off the gates. It's shadow passing overhead with a Buzzard in pursuit as it slalomed low through the buildings to come back for another gun run. There was a ground shaking Boom! as something exploded beyond the rooftops, a Buzzard, smoking from one engine buzzing overhead and away from the battlefield. Drake quickly returned his focus to the battlefield, Smacking a Warhammer to the side with the blaster pistol before thrusting the blade right beneath the soldier's chin, twisting, and pulling free as a war-bot fell forward, a molten pit of slag glowing in it's back as he turned his head to face another column of armor and armored soldiers as they rounded onto the battlefield, a Buzzard painted the deepest, most royal purple he'd ever seen hovered low in front of them.
A geknosian in gold and purple armor fell from the open door, Cape of purple silk flowing behind them as they landed with one palm against the ground, Dark scimitar slashed out to the side as a crescent blade of purple energy was slung straight at Drake. Death's chosen slashed upward at the crescent, but it flowed around his blade, cutting across his chest and bringing with it a foul, draining weakness as a cold, familiar voice called out.
"That one's mine boys!~ all mine!~"
Drake hadn't recognized Go'mon in the ornate armor, but now there was no mistaking it. He tried to take a step forward but his legs buckled beneath him, sending him to his knees as a festering cold spread from the wounds made by the crescent blade that never touched his armor. He looked in confusion at his sword as the pale flames flickered out, then up just as Go'mons armored shin cracked into the side of his helmet, flinging him through a building as his mind reeled with confusion. He pulled himself from the rubble around him, stumbling to the side as a blade of purple energy sliced through the rubble he'd just been buried in without leaving a mark. He tossed the blaster pistol to the side, bringing the free hand to his mouth, intending to rip a ring off with his teeth. But as Go'mon slung another blade of purple energy with a cackle, He missed the ring, biting off his left index finger, ring and all as a boost of power burned the creeping cold away. He spit the severed digit to the ground as the ring still on it puffed into smoke.
"Feeling weak boy?!~ like your power's been drained?~"
Go'mon purred as he took a step forward, aura swelling with power as he held up the black sword.
"The blade of greed will do that if you let it touch you~"
Go'mon took an unfamiliar stance, Blade arched over his head and pointed down as he fell into a low, wide stance, one arm pushed forward as the blades on his war gauntlet's fingers glowed orange with heat. Drake fell into his peasants guard, gripping his sword in two hands as he glared at Go'mon. His gaze flickered off go'mon for a split second as he thought of everyone still in the mansion and the Geknosian chosen surged forward in a flash of purple light to run drake through before kicking him through the back wall of the building, Drake's power draining away like the blood pouring from the hole in his Lorica. He barely deflected Go'mons black blade as Conquest's chosen surged forward with a brutal slash, unable to focus for the split second required to dissipate a ring and refresh his power. Go'mons aura blooming with power with each blow of that black blade. Drake burst through a wall and into an empty street, tumbling ass over head as he desperately held onto his sword.
Angry red blood spilled from the hole in his armor as he got his elbows under him, a pair of golden boots clomping into view as Go'mon gloated, a softly flickering bloom of pale purple flames in his palm.
"All this power, and you don't even know how to properly control or wield it... Don't worry, you won't have it long~"
Drake manage to dissipate two of the remaining rings on his left hand, an intoxicating burst of power allowing him to launch himself back away from Go'mon as his wounds knitted closed, severed finger growing back with a crunching, fleshy noise. He could feel Go'mons grin behind the snarling visage of his helmet as he fell into a peasants guard, feeling far too weak for having removed five rings. The two stared at each other silently, one of the flying machines spinning to the ground before exploding into a fireball behind Go'mon. Drake fet a deathly calm fall over him as he twisted his sword up into a high guard.
He had to make it back to his people, no matter what. The thumb and pinkie ring on his right hand puffed into smoke as he felt those corvid like wings form at his back, a cold cage of festering ice around the burning sun of rage in his heart. Go'mon took a simple offensive guard, twirling the scimitar with obvious skill in a figure eight in front of him.
The two chosen launched themselves at each other, Drake wreathed in black smoke as Go'mon exploded with pale purple light; the pavement cracking beneath their feet with the violence of the action.
...
Martha tended to the mounting wounded in the infirmary as fast as she could, back splayed open as small gossamer arms allowed her to work on several wounded at once. Many of the ex-slave women helped, binding wounds with clean bandages and splinting broken limbs like they had back at the plantations. Hearing the large wooden doors of the ballroom infirmary slam open, she looked up as Destrier and Caz hauled in a pale remin and a Brutalized young woman. Keeping one hand holding a bundle of gauze against the bleeding wound she was attempting to close up, The young man looking up at her with fear, pain, and hope on his face as he helped hold the gauze down. Pointing to two empty beds she called out.
"Set them there! Where's Drake?! We could really use the walking embodiment of Death right now!"
Destrier hoarsely called back, setting Remin into a bed as the old man struggled to keep his eyes open.
"He's fighting his way towards us from the rear!"
Caz helped the battered young woman into a bed where she curled into the fetal position before the Markswoman swept back out of the infirmary, Huntress humming as she slammed a new flechette into the barrel. Martha continued tying off tattered blood vessels, trying to keep the young man from bleeding out as Cassius appeared next to her, shaking his hands dry after scrubbing them with antiseptic to help close up the gnarly gash in the stomach of the wounded man behind her. Martha's heart pounded in her throat as she finally managed to sew the wound closed before hitting the fighter with a sedative to ease his pain and knock him out. She wanted to cry but held in her tears as she turned around to focus on the same patient as Cassius, but even as she did, the young man placed a bloodied palm on her forearm. She felt a lone tear drip down her snout as she looked at the mans deathly stillness, eyes closed in quiet acceptance of his fate, a grim smile on his face.
Her legs felt weak beneath her as she leaned on Cassius, watching Destrier rush out of the infirmary out of the corner of her eye.
"we're going to need a miracle if we want to make it out of this alive..."
She whimpered as the din of battle echoed dully from outside. That was when a wounded man sat up, grunting as he held the bandages across his torso. She rushed over to stop him from tumbling out of bed when he simply fell through the floor, an odd superposition happening where he was there and not for a split second. But when it faded, there was a note left on the ground, scrawled in blood red, blotchy words.
"I'll be back, and I won't be alone."
Martha could only hope that was true as she turned to continue tending the wounded, Despair filling her heart as more wounded were brought in from the ramparts.
...
Halcyon held the gate, rifle spitting hatred from behind one of the wall's crenellations as one of his Hellions fell next to him, skull split open by gauss slug. Halcyon glanced down at the gate where Thomas and another hulking agri-droid held it against the wall, the gate rattling with each impact of a Gallick's kinetic penetrator, apples of sunlight spreading across the ground where they'd simply sailed straight through. The Geknosian reinforcements turning an already blistering hail of various projectiles and beams becoming an impassable force as several of their light cruisers fired on the helicopters that circled over the battlefield. Missiles streaking upwards and shredding the soft-skinned aircraft, forcing them to take evasive maneuvers and stop the pulse-pounding barrage of their rotary cannons. Halcyon's attention was drawn to the sky as an impossibly loud crash of steel on steel accompanied a streak of pale purple light and void black as they shot into the sky. The black streak getting slammed down by a brutal, unseen strike that made Halcyon's heart leap into his throat. What kind of monster could go toe to toe with Drake, and appear to be winning.
Halcyon, peaked past the cranellation he had his back against, a gauss slug taking his eye out and making him shout in pain as he jerked his head back. Ripping a bundle of gauze from his medi-pack, he rolled it out and bunched it up, pressing it against his vacant and shattered eye socket as a bout of lightheadedness turned the edges of his reduced vision dark.
One of his men crouched beside him flinching when chips of stone exploded from the crenellation they'd been taking cover behind, some sort of heavy weapon having been aimed at them as they darted for Halcyon. Halcyon looked into their eyes, face just as dismayed as he felt, their words barely audible over the din of battle.
"what do we do, sir...?"
Halcyon let out a sigh, shouting over the roar of gunfire.
"Pull back! secure the mansion!"
The fighters didn't need to be told twice as the ramparts were abandoned, leaping from the walls to sprint back to the mansion, The agri-bots forming a phalanx behind them to cover their retreat. But Halcyon couldn't help but feel this is exactly what the Geknosians wanted.
But even as the fighters swarmed into the Mansion, Two figures walked past them.
A hulking man in dark samurai armor wielding an lmg and a smaller woman with a flowing furred cloak and white mask, carrying an ornate rail rifle walked past them through the doors.
Halcyon watched in dismayed confusion as Caz and Destrier stepped out into the sunlight, a jump pack freshly mounted on Destriers back beside his kanabo. Another smaller figure appeared as if from thin air, Cassius spinning the weight at the end of a chain attached to a kama menacingly as the doors closed behind them, massive metal shutters sealing them out as the mansion was locked down. He couldn't help but smile grimly.
There was a reason they were Drake's friends, and it wasn't because they were the best fighters.
It was because when everyone else ran away, they ran towards the fight... regardless of their own safety.
......
Part 109: will be linked here upon release.

Hey everyone. 46M. Newly diagnosed with diverticulosis, after recent ER visit, CAT scan and 3 nights in hospital. Complex with abscess. IV antibiotics in hospital, then 7 days oral at home.
That was 4 weeks ago. Feeling better now, slight twinge/ache in lower left now and again, but not pain per se.
Have been eating fairly well and exercising regularly last 5 years. Prior 15 years ate like crap, didn’t exercise almost at all at times. Have drank alcohol regularly, sometimes heavy throughout. I think that I’ve probably had diverticulosis for years unknowingly. Went to Cancun for vacation week before the attack, got a wicked stomach bug and my hunch is that triggered the attack and thus the discovery/diagnosis. Who knows.
Anyway, since the attack and hospital stay, have done a lot of reading, podcasts, reading through this group, talking to PCP, etc., all in an effort to avoid future flare ups, ultimately avoid surgery and generally just take gut health seriously…which I have never really done.
Based on research, have started the below supplements and would love to hear any thoughts…things that have worked, things that haven’t, etc. It’s a lot of stuff to take and keep track of, not to mention expensive, but willing to do it if it can keep this disease in check.
In addition to all of that, have been drinking a lot of water…basically have lived a dehydrated life up until now…and exercise 1-2 times a day, mostly stretching/body weight exercises and elliptical.
Any thoughts super appreciated!
Supplements
AM - L-Glutamine, 5 g powder with water - Magnesium Citrate, 135 mg capsule - Fish Oil, 2,400 mg capsule - GLA (Borage Oil), 1,000 capsule - Bifidobacterium lactis probiotic, 268 mg capsule - Prebiotic fruit smoothie pouch (Gutzy brand), 8 g fiber
Lunch - Magnesium Citrate, 135 mg capsule - Fish Oil, 2,400 mg capsule - GLA (Borage Oil), 1,000 capsule - Bifidobacterium lactis probiotic, 268 mg capsule
Dinner - Lactobacillius acidophilus probiotic, 20 mg capsule
Bed - Lactobacillius acidophilus probiotic, 20 mg capsule - Magnesium Biglycinate, 200 mg powder