Visa invitation letter for wedding

I have only recently started planning my wedding but my bridesmaids have all got extremely distant.
I know people get busy (i'm pretty busy at the moment) so I'm not expecting things to happen within 3 seconds.
I asked for advice on an invite I designed and got no response - no replies in the group chat at all! Just left on read.
I've got told countless times for months "I cant wait to start planning with you" and "I will be with you every step of the way" so I'm confused by the silence.
I'm trying to plan my bachelorette party - asked what kind of activities they would be happy with - nothing - absolutely no response from anyone.
I'm trying to be patient here but its deflating.

Hello there! Welcome to your forever home.
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We are an old guild and we focus on getting the best rewards possible without micromanaging our members.
No forced farms, no harassment, and no public humiliation. We like to have fun and keep things light.
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Pretty standard right? You've all seen this stuff before. Drop in and chat if you think you might be a good fit, we'd love to hear from you.
https://discord.com/invite/VXteVk8qJy
https://swgoh.gg/g/fyflD7AfQyuhmbBcntjlCA

Hello there! Welcome to your forever home.
About Us
541m GP when full.
36* ROTE, 37 Reva shards.
42+ Reva ready accounts
Clearing the 208m speeder bike box.
We are an old guild and we focus on getting the best rewards possible without micromanaging our members.
No forced farms, no harassment, and no public humiliation. We like to have fun and keep things light.
Leave of Absence channel for when real life gets in the way. Members posting in LoA are immediately excused for any lack of participation with no questions asked.
Very active discord full of laid back friends where the fresh memes flow like wine.
What We are Looking For:
600 daily
10.5m+ GP with 6+GLs Any combination of 2 of Prof, Exe, and Levi.
Reva ready or close to it
Full participation in TB and raids, TW optional but must give 100% if you join
Willingness to handle your business on your own without the need to be reminded.
Pretty standard right? You've all seen this stuff before. Drop in and chat if you think you might be a good fit, we'd love to hear from you.
https://discord.com/invite/VXteVk8qJy
https://swgoh.gg/g/fyflD7AfQyuhmbBcntjlCA

Hi All, I am M(27), I am currently in Banglore and my girl ( 24 ) is in Allahabad, We were in a long-distance relationship
We had been dating for last 9 months and it was going great as well but in January end my family members started looking for a girl for me in an AM setup and I used to refuse every girl as I wanted to marry her and she was also kinda ready but never told me directly. Initially, my girl only initiated the idea of getting married as my Family members had started looking for someone and they were quite active. She told me she wanted to marry me and asked me to talk to my parents first as my parents are a bit strict about these things .
During Holi time we had a fight and it got sorted as well, After Holi, she went to her Mausi's Home for a couple of weeks with her Mummy, And she shared about me with her mausi in the hope that once the time comes she will help her to convince her family specially her mummy and papa about me as we both are from different castes ( She is OBC & I am ST ) .
I also shared about her with My Family members (Bhaiya, Didi, Jija & Bhabhi ) except Papa & Mummy ( as their thinking is still a bit old about all these especially Papa ), as they will understand and help to convince Papa, Mummy for our weddings.
But Once she came from Mausis Home She started behaving differently and things started turning bad , she starts ignoring me my texts and call I had to convince her then she told me that Mausi is saying your papa won't agree for all these and all , Intially the girl only said to me that caste won't be an issue at her home , everyone one is chill and multiple people have gone through Love Marriage setup and also she said if you are such a good guy earning enough and from a Tier-1 Enginnering college , then it would be easy to convince her family not an issue , After listening to all these , then I only got into a relationship with her then only I became serious as I never wanted anything short term or anything.
But after coming from Mausis home, after every 2 days, she was getting changed her behavior and all and she starts ignoring me and every day saying breakup again and again.
I used to do a lot of things her, I am Literally in love with her, This is the first time I fell for someone before that I was focused on my career and family responsibilities so I always avoided dating anyone. Once our family got stable then only I started dating so basically last year only I started dating and she is my first Love, She had a relationship in past for 3 or 4 years.
She was trying to break up with me again and again and I was convincing her again and again
Last month she broke up with me and cut me off fully, The Last time I cried in front of anyone was when I was in class 3 or 4th after that I never cried in front of anyone, even my grandfather whom I loved so much when he died ( I was in class 10th ), I didn't cry, I stopped my tears coming down, now after all these years I cried for her I cried in front of her on phone multiple times to not leave me alone, I was shattered, I was crying all night alone in my room no one was there to tell me or stop me, I live here in Banglore alone in a flat with my flatmates, I was in my room for 3 days straight, didn't drink water for 2 days and hadn't food for straight 3 days, I was shaking and shivering and I was getting sudden panic attacks and sudden burst of emotions, I never cried this much in my life, I was getting suicidal. after 3 or 4 days I got up and went to her hometown to convince her.
Reaching Allahabad was also painful, I wasn't getting any direct flight to Allahabad so booked for Varanasi flight from there took a bus to Allahabad and stayed there for 2 days to convince her. It was such a harsh weather that I puked multiple times in Allahabad in such a hot and sunny weather, as a person who hadn't had food for 3 or 4 days it was hard for me.
I gave her a handwritten note and a flower bouquet we had dinner and she got convinced as well and that night I accompanied her to home and I was happy, but deep down I was afraid, as again coming to Allahabad when you are not mentally and stable and a bit ill as well and you hadn't had food, sleep and all and coming all alone In hope that I will convince her, I even didn't know how to find her as she had blocked me and whether she will reply me on insta or not ? But I was happy that she was okay after meeting me and she was happy and things will be okay, next day I gave her chocolates that I had bought specially for her during my trip to Bali and we talked and had lunch together and things were fine I had plan to go on Monday but since I was not feeling well so I left on Sunday only and left for my Hometown ( Varanasi ) instead of going to banglore .
But after few days she again started behaving the same and within few days it was again came back to normal and 3 days before I came back to banlgore , she totally ignored me like I never existed at all because of that I lost my senses like I couldn't believe and had an minor accident as well because while riding the bike I was so in grief that I couldnt' control my self on a highway I almost had a near to death experience , nothing happened to me just got a minor injury nothing . I stayed for 10 days at home that time , and in last 3 days she totally cut me off and I was shattered and since I am home I couldn't cry as well 24*7 everyone used to be with me only as I was home after a long time ..
I thought before going to banglore Ill go and meet her once again but I had one important project going on so I had to leave for banglore, I was holding my tears for so long that the day I again came back , the moment I sat in the cab for my flat I started crying in the cab I was crying for straight 1.5 hours while way back to my flat , this is also a kind of first time for me crying in front of a random guy . this time I couldn't control my self I cried like a baby in front the driver , I was trying hard to hold my tears and hiding my face, the cab guy understood and he was also behaving like he is not seeing me. once I reached home I cried and cried whole night , I called here msged her she didn't picked my call didn't reply .
So for 7 days I didn't call or text her I was trying my best to be first a stable person , one day one of my friend , she said , jab itna mehant kiye hi ho to ek bar last time try kar hi lo, So I tried again and called her msgd her and but rat ko bat huyi us din to but she was same like earlier stone cold and , she is saying she lost interest in me , ab wo vibes nahi aati we are different and all , also why should I settle for less If I can get better ( her mausi's world I guess ) , she saying mummy bol rahi this kuch Acche riste hai don't worry and all and blah blah , and she in past while breaking up time also said once I was trying and I thinks its not working anymore .
that day I got devasted more, as earlier I thought because of family pressure and caste issue she is backing but this time I got her different side , I still couldn't believe I thought these are her Mummy or Mausi's word not her because the girl whom I know cannot do all these to me she is open minded and a good person and she was the one who iniated the idea for marriage and opening up to our family.
that time meri didi ka ek bat mujhe yad aaya , Didi ne mujhse bola that, ki tum usse pyar karte ho aur Shaadi karna chahte ho , kya wo bhi tumse pyaar karti hai na ?
that night again I cried and again started getting headache and panic attacks and started shivering and again suicidal thoughts started coming.
Now last week one of my friends she told me about one new caffe in Banglore to try out , so we went and we did shopping together , while coming from there she was forcing me hard to go to her flat and was saying she is alone at her place her flatmate she is not there and she was trying hard to convince me for watching Netflix series together and she was breaking the touch barrier again and again I can sense what she was implying so I kept denying not in mood and all so that I can go to my place.
so I came back to my place, and became emotional and sad as I never ever even thought of touching a girl other than her , Since the day I meet her It became so different for me, I lost interest in every girl except her I stopped talking to all other girls from my circle so that she never feel insecure and also I lost interest as well, She is the only girl whom I can think of spending my life or anything . So next day I again tried to contact her , maine call ya msg nahi kiya hota but I coudln't control this time, I cannot think of another girl anymore except her.
I wanted to talk to her , msged her in morning on Whatsapp did some texting but we couldn't talk on phone as she was busy , then again I tried to call in afternoon but no luck then again in evening and again at night time , this time I also lost my patience and maine bhi bhala bura keh diya aur gusse me as a slang gali nikal gaya ( gali uske liye nahi that wo as a slang hi nikla tha ) within a seconds we cut the call she blocked me again and I texted her use bhala bura bola and all usne bola, aaj tumne gali dekar dikha diya and I am proud of my decision and all I also said you used me to get over your ex. and blah blah some random things like you were depressed I helped you overcome this and I also don't want jo har 2 din me palat jata ho apni bat se.
the line that she said na ki, I am proud of my decision , it hurt me , sari rat yahi line meri dimag me chalta raha, I am a overthinker guy, so ye thoda jyad hi hurt kar gaya. Agle din subah maine use snapchat me msg kiya ki mere sath kuch hua tha I felt bad I thought only you would understand isliye tumko ping kiya tha convince karne nahi aaya tha. and sorry for my kal ke behaviour ke liye. bye take care. its been a week and she hasn't read that msg and and I guess unfriend bhi kar diya hai ( waise snapachat usi ke wajah se hi install kiya tha warna I hate snap )
In Past I used to write shayari and poems for her and used to tel her the lines that I used to write for her. I also used practice her favourite songs and used to sing and record and send her. In past she used to to say to me you are a perfect package, anyone would be lucky to have you , she used to say tum gym bhi jate ho , daru waru, ciggrete wagairah kuch nahi karte ho ghumne phirne ka shauk hai family responsibilities handle karte ha , itna kamane ke bad bhi attitude nahi hai , tumse aadha kamane wale ladke bhi udane lagte hai , tum perfect ho and all she used to be very happy with me , rat bhar bat karna and other plannings and everything , I was happy being single but once she came to my life I became more focussed, I still cannot belive she got changed yahi sab sochta hu to lagta hai ki ek bar phir try karu.. I love her.
Now today while talking to my sister she again asked me about her, I told her ki Didi aisa kuch nahi hai bhool jao , Did bolne lagi ki Papa mummy ko humlog mana lenge bas tum ready ho to bata do. maine saf mana to kar diya
but after that I got emotional, I thought I will write a letter and post it and will try to convince again I wrote a long 5 page letter lying right now on my bed but I don't know what to do. Please help me what should I do ?

I’ve never been anyone’s favorite person. I’ve never had a best friend, all the friends I’ve had throughout the years have simply used me in one way or another (either to take advantage of me sexually or to use me as a therapist). My own family doesn’t care much for me, I don’t blame them though—I have autism and it makes me fairly unlikable. I really can’t rely on anyone for anything. My fiancé dips out on my plans every single time we make them, he can’t even give me a set time to show up to my wedding gown fitting, I tried inviting my sister instead but she canceled on me too. So I just cancelled it. I’m tired of feeling like people in my life could really care less for me, I could quite literally die today and everyone in my life would probably bail out on my own damn funeral because they’re too busy with something else.

I applied to change the details on my BRP after changing my surname. I received the email that it was approved and was invited to create my evisa. Went through the process, but used my email that I used for my previous grad visa. So now my UKVI account says graduate expired and has my old passport number and BRP info on it (from my original student visa), but the login is my new passport in my new name. I can’t edit the identity documents to remove them or add my new BRP number.
Is it worth calling the helpline over this or just wait it out to see what happens? Or go through the evisa process again with a different email?

My bf invited me to Bali with his family to celebrate his sister’s wedding today and when I told my parents that I was considering going, they immediately threatened to disown me and said that I was insane (to think of going to a country with the death penalty) and a waste of all their efforts in raising me if I was going to throw away my education (I'm graduating next year) future career and life like that. They've always been incredibly worried about my safety and I really appreciate all their love and everything they've done for me.
They're some of my closest friends and they have valid concerns about this trip, like baggage tampering, racist attacks (I'm of Chinese descent and there has always been a history of prosecution against Chinese people), sexual assault kidnapping and enslavement, lack of medical assistance in case of injury and of course the fact that the death penalty exists and I might be wrongfully imprisoned if someone plants drugs on me. Plus the fact that it’s now illegal to stay with your partner if you’re unmarried.
I do want to go, however it hurts that my parents are fully telling me that they're on the cusp of disowning me over this. And by disown, they mean cutting off financial aid and care, kicking me out and no longer being involved in my life. Am I being delusional and unsafe by wanting to go to Bali? Is it even safe over there as someone of Chinese background? I want to have a relationship with my parents but I also want to do the things that I want in life sometimes too, I just don't know how to achieve both.

Hey guys! I just applied for study permit through SDS category.
For some info on background. I have 5 year gap in my studies. I am a Freelance/ self employed music producer doing projects based work with different clients and releasing my own music too.
To explain my gap. For starting one and a half years after graduation ( late 2018) i was unemployed and was in the phase of changing my field (music now) After that (2020) mid, i started getting freelance work slowly but steadily and since then i have doing freelance work which has been increasing with time. (So 4 years of freelance/self employed work)
On my immigration study permit form as well i stated the same in my employment history. To explain this i also stated the same in SOP as well with explanation.
While attaching docs in client information section to support my claim of freelance work during those gap years i attached 3 years of ITR, reference letters from clients that also goes to mostly 3 years back and some payment receipts from all 4 years. And also 6 months bank statement.
I am scared that i did not attach enough proof of work for that first year of freelance work (4th year back from now) (2020)
and also on a resume i made just to attach to this client information doc. I accidentally wrote (2021- current year instead of 2020)i have been doing freelance with clients .
Will these create issues on my study visa application. I tried my best to explain all the years fully with a lot of documents but that one mistake on resume is haunting me.
Should i raise a web form and explain that typo error and give more documents for my 2020 year of freelance work? (Which i have ITR, bank statements and other docs too)

Ronins of the Empire is looking for a couple of new members! We are a fun and friendly 90 mil gp guild that already work really well as a team and have a wide range of experience.
Currently gaining 2nd crate on Speeder, closer to 3rd each run.
LS hoth 28 stars DS Geo 11 stars
TW (last two months) 6 wins 2 losses
Find us on Discord or drop me a message :D
What we'd like from you: - level 85, minimum gp 1.5 mil. - strong geo team would be helpful, but not necessary. - active participant in all areas - joining discord is mandatory as it will contain platoon assignments for TB and has tons of useful guides and support.
https://swgoh.gg/g/f39JoW17R_2n9KXaPACBsA/
https://discord.com/invite/HfvV7Qsc

Hello,
My husband and I closed on a house in El Paso, TX in March 2024 and when we applied to get the 100% property tax exemption; it was rejected and they indicated that we would not be eligible for the exemption until January 1, 2025 because we didn't own the home on January 1, 2024 and also because our builder has a builders exemption on the land.
The rejection letter said that the home is showing as 80% complete. We inquired about filing a motion to correct 25.25 (c), but then were told that basically we shouldn't do it because we'd end up paying more taxes as the exemption would still not apply until January 2025 and that we are SOL for 2024.
Does anyone have any recent experience with EPCAD and/or a similar situation? If so, how did you handle it? Is there any VA resources that you'd recommend? We would like to avoid paying for a property tax lawyer if possible. Thanks a lot!

My wedding is in one week, and just a day ago, we found out that our coordinator somehow miscalculated the venue capacity. There is no way we can squeeze in four more people since it is already quite full.
My family and the coordinator have told me that I have to uninvite the last people I invited, who turned out to be my university friends. We are not very close, but on good terms. I'm unsure how to address this. Should I just reschedule to meet for later, or should I try to somehow fit them in?
I don’t like the idea of uninviting people after I have already invited them, and I’m currently having a hard time with my coordinator. I'm looking for the safest and best option in this situation.
Thanks!

So for context, I’m a 21yo f and she’s a 23f, she’s been together with her future husband for 3 years now. She’s the only one in my family I still talk to, I cut contact with the others because of my father (he abused me). She invited my father for her wedding and said that if I didn’t come to her wedding she would be mad at me, I was ready to make a sacrifice and see my father for the first in 5 years (and potentially get harassed by him).
This last month she was very distant, didn’t respond to my messages. And yesterday at 2Am, she sent me a text, asking me if I was free today for her engagement dinner party, it shocked me cause she didn’t tell me before and invited me the day before, in the middle of the night. I asked her at what time I should be here, then she said she wasn’t sure if she was going to make the dinner for « the girls » (her friends).
Today, I sent her a text to get a confirmation, she answered hours later with a simple sentence « it’s family only » and she proceeded to tell me that she only invited her sister’s bestfriend.
I was speechless.. I didn’t respond and now I want to cry. I thought I was part of the family, I don’t know if I’m overreacting, I was ready to see my dad and all the family (they all hate me and my mom) to not upset her, I kept her furniture at my place cause she didn’t have money to rent a garage, I was ready to see her even at 3am when she was sad and depressed when her first boyfriend cheated on her, and now I’m not part of the family, not even a friend.
What should I do ? Should I cut contact with her and not go to her wedding ?

My partner and I are overjoyed with the news of our visa applications being successful. I followed many useful tips and learned from experiences here on Reddit leading to the end of this lengthy visa process, therefore, it is time for me to share our timeline and experiences. Hope it may help some of you too.
Background info: I am a Chinese national residing in France (been living in France with my partner for the past 4+ years, first holding a student visa and then a work visa), and my partner is French. We are PACSed (or under a civil partnership contract) in France. I got an offer working as a senior administrator in a university in London. My SOC code requires non-criminal records from the countries I have lived for 1 year or more in the past 10 years. My salary is around 45k (salary + London Weighting). We both applied for our visas in France. Both non-priority services.
Timeline:
Defined CoS applied - 7 February
Defined CoS approved and assigned - 3 April
SWV applied and IHS fee paid for main applicant (myself) - 23 April
Biometric appointment attended (Paris TLScontact) - 23 May
Dependent visa applied (my partner submitted biometrics via the APP) - 26 May
Received "a decision has been made on your application" email from TLScontact - morning of 5 June
Received emails from TLScontact informing me that my passport will be delivered to me on the next day - afternoon of 5 June
Received a decision letter (application successful!) from UKVI - late evening of 5 June
Got my passport with a vignette delivered to me by DHL Express! - 6 June
Accelerated Dependent Visa application via the paid query service of UKVI - 6 June
Dependent Visa successful email received! - 7 June
My overall experience of the SWV application process is incredibly energy draining filled with uncertainty and frustration. The negative feelings are mostly associated with the long wait of a define CoS approval during the immigration rule changes in April 2024. However, I must say I am positively surprised by the SWV application process itself considering that it only took me 8 working days to receive a decision from UKVI with a standard service, and 10 working days for my partner to receive a Dependent Visa!
Here are a few things I learnt:

• SWV application follows an incredibly straightforward process. As long as you have a CoS assigned, there is very little chance that the application would be unsuccessful. Pay attention to details when filling in your application form. If there is anything particular that you want to address, simply include the complementary information in a cover letter.
  
• My SOC code changed when I applied for my visa - the SOC code on my CoS was associated with a different (irrelevant) professional title. I mentioned this in the "comments to reviewer". There was no problem.
  
• At the time of my application submission, I had one required document missing (a non-criminal record). I explained the reason in a cover letter. I received this document only before my biometrics. I had to pay for a service at TLScontact to add this document during my appointment. It worked out fine.
  
• Once you finish submitting your biometrics, be patient and stop reading about other people's experiences online... It can be reassuring, but my experience tells me that it often freaks you out for nothing since our minds tend to focus on negative information or problems during this time. Try to focus on something else until the UKVI reaching out to you to deliver the good news or to ask for additional information/documents. Trust the process, do not overthink, and get your champagne glasses ready for a celebration!
  

Good luck to you all:)

I have not been in paid employment since October 2022 due initially to travelling and then falling into a state of mental illness during which my now ex-partnesavings supported me.
I have applied into the pool to be invited for a Canada International Experience Visa but am worried that nearly 2 years out of work will affect a positive approval, even though I do have enough savings left to make the requirements for entry.
I don’t know if I’m just being paranoid as I’m sure there are plenty of people who have been travelling with savings or supported by family members for periods granted successful entry. Does anyone have any experience/knowledge on this?

[ Notice: Not my article. Link: https://4womaninthewilderness.blogspot.com/2012/04/i-thought-it-might-help-others-to-share_4319.html ]
Marriage Feast / New Covenant
(Benefit to those not anointed: https://4womaninthewilderness.blogspot.com/2013/04/i-received-two-questions-1.html)
I thought it might help others to share the information from a letter to another anointed one:
Dear Xxxx, I am very happy that you decided to write me. Interaction with other chosen is a source of joy for those of us who seek truth, love and unity. Yes, as you know Satan's pressures are upon us, and will not let up until Christ comes to rescue us. Yet his care rescues us even now, in that he has sent us the spirit to be with us and feed us. He too, is manifesting his presence among us, that the world may believe that Christ is Lord. I hope you will clarify some things you said, because I don't know what you mean,

why Father allows many Witnesses to not be anointed, even though they can see the issues of the true gospel being the re-birth.

First, "why the Father allows many Witnesses to not be anointed". Are you wondering why Jehovah does not do more anointing among "Jehovah's Witnesses"? Not sure what you are saying here. I know that almost all "witnesses" now are worshiping an Organization, committing idolatry against Jehovah. Of those who are not, or who have left due to seeing the corruption, remember 2Chron.16:9? Jehovah shows his spirit to those with a complete heart. Only Jehovah can judge this about a person. The next part of that sentence, "even though they can see the issues of the true gospel being the re-birth." Now you've really got me. Can you explain what you mean by "issues", the "rebirth" and how this rebirth is the "true gospel"? Are you saying that the emergence of full truth (the spirit leading the anointed into "all the truth" John16:13), as being associated with the birth of the Kingdom? Or are you saying that when we are born again as perfect spirits, and the Sons of God are revealed (Rom.8:19), that only then will we have all the truth? Or, do you speak of the Word (true gospel) as being the "incorruptible seed", which, once sown in the heart and brought to maturity, gives a re-birth into eternal life? (Luke8:11; 1Pet.1:23; James1:21; Mark4:28,29; Eph.4:13)
If this is what you mean, perceiving this truth is not enough to obligate God to choose and anoint you as one of His sons. His righteous and just standards for making such a choice, reside with Him. I would love to understand what you are trying to say in order to share your thoughts, but the scriptures don't immediately come to mind as to what you are referring to, so I am at a loss. Remember the illustration of the marriage feast? (Matt.22:1-14) Those invited were not worthy, and so the King told his servants to invite anyone they saw, who were "going out from the City" (according to the Greek "diexodous") (Matt.22:8-9). These were given the opportunity to share in the marriage banquet. Today, all are being offered the truth of things that were previously hidden, such as the understanding of Revelation. Many anointed will not receive this spiritual food, because they are not worthy. They are busy filling their lamps with fuel that is teachings from men, or they are following their own thoughts independent of the body of Christ. These will not be given the true light of understanding (Matt.25:9-12). Their lamps, shine out darkness, because their "eye" of understanding is not "simple", exclusively guided by means of scripture (Matt.6:22-23; John8:47). Yet, those who have been drawn out of the corrupt "City" by Yhwh's spirit (Rev.18:10,18,4; Matt.22:7,9,10), will be invited to share in that feast of true food (Rev.19:9). It will be up to them if they are humble and appreciative enough, to attend and eat.
The next thing you say,

At least these are now partaking at home, after the Hall Memorial. That's a big plus.

If you are saying that you believe that the New Covenant is for all, and not for the sins of the Chosen heirs only; YHVH has plainly shown me how the ransom applies first, to the anointed. This is through the Covenant by virtue of Christ's blood (Luke22:20). Please consider Rev. 5:9,10:

And they sing a new song, saying: 'You are worthy to take the scroll and open its seals, because you were slaughtered and ~with your blood you bought~ ~persons~ ~for God~ out of every tribe and tongue and people and nation, ~and you made~ ~them~ ~to be a kingdom and priests to our God, and they are to rule as kings over the earth.'~

This is only one of the many scriptures that indicate a small piece of what spirit has plainly shown me, concerning all the truths of the Kingdom, and how the ransom is applied to mankind in general, through it's ambassadors, priests, and kings (Matt.7:20; Rev.22:2; Matt.10:40-42; Gal.4:19; Rev.12:2; Gal.4:26; Rev.21:2-3; 1Pet.2:5,9; Mal.2:7). The New Covenant, which ends/is fulfilled, at the arrival/ coming of Christ (1Cor.11:26) is for that administration (Eph.1:9,10,11,12,13,14; Mark13:27), which is then completed. It is through them as the Bride Covenant/ "woman" (Gal.4:26), that Creation is set free (Num.8:19,21; Rom.8:17,19; Rev.22:17), unlike the New Covenant, which initially sets the priests free from sin (Lev.16:6; Heb.9:11,12). First the mother must be free. Then those born to her, are also set free from sin, darkness, and death. First, there must be a free mother. Then the mother must marry a free father (Isa.9:6; Luke 4:16-21; John8:36). After the marriage of the lamb, children will be brought forth (Rev.19:7-9).The New Covenant is for those who rule (Luke22:29; Rev.3:21; 5:9-10). All Creation will not be redeemed through Christ only (as the anointed are), but through New Jerusalem and Christ ~together~. Once that Holy City is finally made complete, God's Kingdom commences, to the benefit of all who have obeyed the gospel of Christ. But in the meantime, those who belong to that heavenly city (Eph.2:6), offer the healing fruit of their lips (Matt.7:20; Rev.22:2) to those who accept Gods' sons (Rom.8:19; Ps.82:6; Gal.3:26,29; Rom.8:17).
For those who are not being redeemed (receiving a white robe Rev.6:9,11; 12:11; 19:7,8) ~now~, in order to be ~cleansed for Kingdom Rule~; the emblems ~of that cleansing~ are not for them. The cleansing of the sins of the 144000 and great crowd of final priests (who come through the great tribulation), is through the blood of the Lamb (Rev.14:1; 7:9,14) It is important to realize that the "Great Crowd" are the last remnant (Rev.12:17), who come through end-time tribulation (see pearl-greatcrowd.blogspot.com ) The partaking of the emblems stop, when this promise is fulfilled for the Chosen (1Cor.11:26; Rev.20:5) Try to remember that Jesus fulfilled ~the Passover~ (1Cor.5:7; John1:29). Try to remember that the blood of the Passover lamb, was not for the saving of all Israel, but for the saving of the Firstborn (Exodus12:12,13; Num.3:13; Heb.11:28; 12:23; Rev.14:4). These "firstborn" ones are the first imperfect humans to be born again and released from sin and death by means of Christ's blood. The rest come to life subsequently, by means of Bride, Holy City New Jerusalem, and the Trees of Life who make up that City of living stones. Trees which offer the fruit which "cures the Nations" (Rev.22:1,2). All, whether chosen to be the bride of Christ, or her children, must be born again as spirit, in order to see God's kingdom (John3:3,5-6; 1Pet.1:23). All are born through the faithful and sealed anointed who have fulfilled the covenant promise in heaven (Gal.4:26).
That mother provides living water to others (Rev.22:1-2,17). Some are born now, by God's spirit, directly poured into their hearts, and his laws written on their heart by God's finger. They accept Christ, and live. They are tutored and nurtured by those already mature, to become members of the Bride (2Cor.11:2-3). Others are born through an acceptance of the living water, spirit, and truth from Christ's Bride (Matt.25:34-36,41,45; Matt.10:14-15; John13:20; Mark 9:37). By their treatment of God's messengers, they are judged. They are brought into account, at the last day. The difference between these two groups is seen in Jesus' words, at John11:25-26; 6:63,54,40,47-50 (John5:24; Rom.8:9; Eph.2:6). It is a wicked abomination for those who are not being raised up now, to partake of the emblems which are reserved as a symbol of Holy Promise, between those betrothed to the Christ, and their husbandly Lord. To take the emblems into oneself, is to become one "body" with Christ (1Cor.6:17; John17:22). Those who in presumption, do not discern this body of the Head, Christ (1Cor.12:27; 6:15) as a loyal husband is one flesh, only with his wife; drink judgement to themselves (1Cor.11:29,27).
That body of Christ, ~are anointed ones~ (1Cor.12:12,27-31). Partaking of the symbols of Christ's body, is to become symbolically, one flesh with him according to the promise. This is only for the virgins promised to Christ (2Cor.11:2; Rev.14:4) In godly fear, I certainly hope that a right to spiritual fornication with Christ, is not something you promote, to the destruction of all those who heed it (1Cor.11:29). Yet if it is, and this teaching is not sourced in scripture, there is yet time to correct this teaching. We are all being cleansed, refined, and perfected in the hope that by the arrival of Christ, we can be "~finally~ found" "without spot" or blemish (2Pet.3:14). This is why the parts of Christ's body, need one another to build one another up, in Truth (1Cor.14:26; 12:21; Eph.4:11,12). If you are actually saying that you believe that those not chosen to be one body with Christ, should show a marriage to him by taking his body into themselves; ~please provide me the scriptures which have guided you to this conclusion.~ Certainly we can not take it upon ourselves to leave the Bible's guidance, but more-so when we teach others and direct their actions before God (James 3:1).
Regarding one of your last comments:

I do believe in your anointing, and although I cannot see all your explanations being perfect as far as what things in Revelation in particular say

Please do not remain silent about the things you do not see eye to eye with (Eph.4:25; Zech.8:16). My explanations must be limited for each subject. The Truth is as wide as the sky, and I must choose how far to spread the border of what I discuss in each article. I have often received supplemental questions by individuals, requesting further proof or explanation of what perplexes them personally. If you ask, then I am made able to answer your personal questions, so that whatever point you do not clearly see as being scriptural, I can show you the scriptures to. In this way, individuals are assisted with their own doubts. There have been many times that an article is then made more beneficial for someone who did not benefit initially. Additions I then add, benefit all, including me. Each one has their own questions. I can not cover all Truth in each article, but if a point in particular is of personal interest to you, or is hard for you to see, if you let me know what it is, then you give both of us the opportunity to learn more. Please do not read an article, and leave it with unanswered questions, or worse, assumptions without scripture. If you need more, please request it of me. This has often lead to anointed ones having their vision clarified and re-adjusted, including myself. Any explanations I have given which you do not agree with, please speak up so that we may be "perfected" ~through the~ ~Bible's~ ~answer~. Again, I thank you so much for writing me. It is the will of YHWH and Christ that we come together, for many beneficial reasons. YHWH's spirit bless you with faith, hope, love, and Truth. Love, Pearl

I had a dream that I was living in a circus hotel, and that my ex, and his family was also living there and that my ex would go into my room and watch me sleep and leave.
The next day I was at his wedding and he was getting married to a girl that I don’t know and his other ex was there at the wedding and she was having fun with the crowd. the ex not the bride looked directly at me and waved.
During the wedding I was the one that was the outsider in the balcony, watching it all unfold I don’t think I was invited and I see my ex getting married to a girl and I didn’t wanna be there but I was just watching it
and then it turned into me being in a desert with my ex again at a music festival and I don’t have a charger and my phone was dead so I had to locate him because he was the only person I need to get the charger so that I can leave the desert and all of these places besides the circus I didn’t want to be there and I was stuck with my ex. My ex didn’t want to look me in the eyes or acknowledge me.
It’s been about 7years since me and my ex split. Last time he contacted me was in 2021 saying he’s been a fool. He was an addict but seems that he’s gotten his life together which I’m happy for. I do have a feeling he watches my social media but everyone does that so it’s normal.
I’m happily in a relationship that’s gonna be marriage one day so I’m confused why I’m dreaming about my ex . I will always love him as a person but I I don’t have feelings anymore

I am 30 (F) and married to a very wonderful and hardworking husband who is currently working abroad. We tied the knot in 2022 but have been together for almost a decade. Ever since we got married, I started working from home, and this setup has somehow made me feel stuck, probably because I miss life outside, the office work.
I met this guy from the IT department in our office 5 years ago, and I must say he's cute. Let's name him Gary. Gary and I became good friends, and he even asked me to be the godmother of his kid. We attended his kid's baptism together with my husband, who was my boyfriend at the time. I totally forgot about him, not even thinking about him. My admiration for him even died as I was so focused on my marriage, my career, and my business.
It was only last week when things turned upside down again. My husband and I were invited to a wedding as principal sponsors, and since my husband could not attend as he is overseas, I had to look for a proxy. I called my husband's cousin, best friend, and other friends, but they were all unavailable. So I tried reaching out to Gary but was not expecting him to respond as he's not the type to be active on social media. At 1 am, he said he would be available to act as proxy. I immediately said my thank yous without any excitement at all, as this was all about him being there on behalf of my husband.
The next day came, and I was waiting for him to arrive before the event started. When he arrived, boy, was he a dashing prince in a blue suit! I repeatedly gulped and kept telling myself to stop feeling weird. When we were walking down the aisle to get to the VIP table for the sponsors, I was asked by the wedding coordinator to rest my hand on his biceps, which made my heart flutter. Honestly, it was the most uncomfortable walk of my life, yet it was a guilty pleasure as well. During the event, I was too shy to talk to him but glad that he came.
We never had any romantic interaction, and I think that's what I'm thankful for. He's married, and I never want this friendship to be ruined. I respect his wife, his kids, and my marriage, so that moment had to end immediately. The dilemma is that I cannot stop thinking about him. I love my husband so much, but I want to know why this is happening to me. Is this cheating? How can this be stopped?

When I got married to my now ex husband, his mum took it upon herself to invite some of her friends (they didn’t pay for anything and never asked if we had room for extra people)… She then proceeded to move my seating chart around so that her 1 friend could sit at the top table with myself, husband, parents, MOH & Bestman!!! My MOH was moved to a different table to accommodate her friend (I did not find this out as she did it when we was greeting guests). She then tried to tell my photographer to stop taking wedding photos and take some of her and her friends so they could have memories of a ‘great day out’… luckily the photographer was a friend and told her no. She demanded a dance with my ex husband first as a last dance before she ‘lost her baby’ to me… She handed me a piece of paper that told me what my ex husband liked to eat, how to make his bed like she did, how to wash his clothes and fold them and what she used to wash his clothes so he still felt like he was at home !! Yes it went straight into the bin when she walked away from me!! My ex MIL then left early because her and her friend were getting tired, her husband (my FIL) is an amazing man but when drunk can be a handful so I spent the rest of my wedding night trying to get him into a taxi to go home as well as the rest of her friends!!! Oh I was 7 weeks pregnant at the time too…
PS my husband didn’t see anything wrong with this and that should have been my biggest red flag… 12 years later and I will be framing my divorce papers as soon as they come in.

I have recently started planning my wedding but my bridesmaids have all got extremely distant.
I know people get busy (i'm pretty busy at the moment) so I'm not expecting things to happen within 3 seconds.
I asked for advice on an invite I designed and got no response - no replies in the group chat at all! Just left on read.
I've got told countless times for months "I cant wait to start planning with you" and "I will be with you every step of the way" so I'm confused by the silence.
I'm trying to plan my bachelorette party - asked what kind of activities they would be happy with - nothing - absolutely no response from anyone.
I'm trying to be patient here but its deflating.

This story is one that started a long time ago, but still affects my (32F) day-to-day life. Sorry everyone, it's a long one.
It began about 17 years ago, when I was 15 and still in school. I frequented internet forums including several fan sites of video games and books I enjoyed. One of these was a role playing forum where I and five others were writing stories together in our favourite universes. I got along well with the other members and it was a great way for me to learn English. Importantly, we only ever communicated through text, never through voice or video calls.
This is where I met the main character of this story, let's call him Tom. Tom said he was 19 years old, and was the only guy active on the forum. He had a great way with words, was mature beyond his years, and had a natural charisma about him. Naturally, as a 15-year-old with no prior experience with relationships, I was instantly drawn to this mysterious, well-spoken figure. Over the course of a month since meeting him, our conversations grew in frequency and depth, until eventually we spoke to each other on chat clients for 3-4 hours a day. At the same time, we continued writing our stories, including a plethora of romantic scenes between our respective characters. We also shared poems that we had written. It was an intense experience for me - I had never really had such a deep connection with a 'boy' before.
My parents never really taught me the importance of internet safety, and I can't blame them: it was all still very new at this time, also to them. It was Tom and my other friends on the forum that stressed how important it was to keep personal information private, especially when they learned my age. Tom especially was adamant never to share my location or photo with anyone, not even with him. It made me feel safe with him - for how could someone who so actively dissuaded me from sharing my information be a monster?
Of course I fell in love with him, to whatever extent a 15-year-old brain can comprehend love.
From written descriptions I had given of myself, Tom had expressed that he thought I must look beautiful, and so the fool that I was I gathered up the courage to send him a picture of myself anyway, desperate for his approval. He was complimentary, but did ask me why I had sent him a picture. I admitted my feelings for him. Tom was understanding, but stressed that he would never be able to give me what I needed from him.
Still, that did not stop either of us from progressing the nature of our interactions into something more sinister. I call it sinister looking back on it as an adult; at the time it was titillating and exciting. We started to send each other 'kisses' goodnight, sent back and forth explicit drawings depicting characters that looked like us, and described other intimate interactions over chat.
My mother once came into my room and witnessed Tom calling me by an endearing term. She interrogated me and I begged her not to make me break off contact with Tom. She listened to me, but made me promise her to be sensible. I want to scream at her now for not stopping it then.
My school friends did what my mother could not: they were concerned for my safety, and stepped to the headmistress, who called me into her office. After telling Tom about the encounter, he panicked. He told me we could no longer chat, and made me promise to tell the headmistress that it was over. I was heartbroken, but promised him.
I did ask Tom if we could still communicate through other means - we were doing some online art projects together that we both wanted to finish. He said yes, we could still maintain contact over e-mail and forum DM, but chat was off the table for now. I took what I could get.
The years that followed were chaotic. Sometimes our contact would be e-mail only, then we would move back to chat. At times, when things got too hard, I would decide to go no-contact for a while. I had my first real relationships in the lulls, but I would always come back. Tom would always receive me with open arms, either as a friend whenever I was dating someone, or rekindling our romantic interactions when I was not. He was always kind, patient, sensitive, and seemed selfless in his interactions with me. He made me feel so good about myself that I became obsessed with him, convinced he was the love of my life.
Three years in, Tom knew my real name, knew where I lived, and had seen nudes of me (he used one as his desktop background for years). At the same time, I knew nothing about Tom. What was worse, the few details he had unintentionally revealed weren't adding up.
Tom always portrayed our story as one of star-crossed lovers who due to circumstance outside our control could never be together. He told me I would never love him if I ever saw him in real life. First he claimed that his face had been ruined by flesh-eating bacteria. When my biology degree taught me that it's nearly impossible to survive that, he claimed body dysmorphic disorder (which I think to some extent was true).
Things reached boiling point six years into this mess. He slipped up, and revealed a detail about his life that directly contradicted the only concrete thing he had ever told me about himself: his age. I took a day to process, then confronted him, asking him how old he really was. After some initial resistance, he admitted that he had lied.
Mid-thirties, he said. A decade(!) older than he had at first claimed. I should have been furious, but after 6 years of being charmed and manipulated by him, I could only feel sorry for him. When I assured him that nothing between us had to change because of a 'number', he dropped the next bombshell:
Tom: "Alright then. Mid-forties."
I felt like I couldn't breathe. For years, I had been having sexually explicit conversations with someone old enough to be my father when I had believed him to be my age. What was worse, it had all started when I was underage. I gave Tom an ultimatum: either tell me the full truth about who he was; or lose me forever. I gave him two weeks to send me his information. He decided not to, which should have immediately set off the alarm bells that there was even more he was lying about; more he had to hide. I didn't even consider that in the moment; my heart was broken once again, and I cut off contact.
At the time, Tom and I had a number of mutual friends that we both spoke to regularly. Two of these were my cousin and his wife. I went to see them after I found out about Tom's real age, trying to find solace and understanding from someone who also knew him. I felt incredibly betrayed and angry, and asked that they also break contact - maybe that was a bit of an a-hole move. They said no: after all, Tom had never revealed his age to my cousin or his wife. As such, he had never lied to them, only to me, and they were not willing to end their friendship with Tom over that. When I asked what they thought of a 40-year-old having explicit conversations with a 15-year-old, they said that from a certain age, the teenager also has a responsibility in preventing this.
My cousin and his wife were not the only mutual friends that knew what was going on. Amazingly and invariably, NONE of our mutual friends chose to break contact with Tom over this. It caused immense doubt in me. Was I wrong in judging Tom for lying to me? Maybe the lie wasn't so terrible. And all those explicit conversations? Well, I instigated a large number of them, not Tom, so maybe I was equally, if not largely, to blame.
The way I see it now: Tom is like a cult leader: no matter what he does or says, his 'followers' will defend him; even blame themselves if it strips him of guilt. What is worse, anyone who dropped out of his inner circle would feel incredibly isolated and excluded. My friends would not play games with me because they preferred playing games with him. They would not write with me, because writing with him was so much more fun. I wish I'd had the strength to stay away, but one year later I came crawling back, desperate to be included into his circle once again, desperate for his affection that the others seemed to thrive under.
I was 22 at this time. Our contact was sporadic for the next four years - I was hesitant to engage romantically with him, even though part of me, despite everything he had put me through, still 'loved' him (trust me, writing this down, my naivety is making me want to claw my eyes out). I entered a relationship with someone else during this time, and went back to no-contact for most of its 4-year duration. When that relationship ended, Tom and I started talking more again, slowly slipping back into old habits and using the same terms of endearment we had used in the past. Tom revealed more details about himself now - he would talk about his boss, his sister, his friends, his home-town, and discussed things that were going on in his personal life. We also started talking over voice-chat, and damn it, he had an attractive voice.
I had just turned 27 when a response of his triggered me. We were recalling the early days of our interactions, and I mentioned how he had once accidentally sent me an e-mail from a throwaway account. I recalled the address letter by letter (I have a mild form of autism). He went very quiet, and then said that my memory was astounding.
Something in my lizard brain decided to look up the name in that e-mail address. I had done the same 12 years prior, but I had much more information now. It took me three hours to cross-reference the tidbits of information he had fed me over the months and years within the context of this name. And what do you know: it WAS his real name. I continued looking for the rest of the evening.. and I found much more than I bargained for.
You see, Tom was not the only person registered to his house. He was reported to live there with a woman who shared his last name, let's call her Hannah. I naively thought she might be the sister he mentioned (though he had given another name). Fortunately for me, Hannah was a lot less careful than Tom with her personal information, and I soon found a link to her blog on her Twitter page. A goldmine of information, going back over 10 years, covering almost every single day since Tom and I started talking.
My blood went cold as I started reading. It soon became clear to me that not only was Hannah his WIFE of 25-or-so years, they had an 11-year-old SON together (let's call him Jacob). I was 100% sure it was his wife writing - I could easily cross-reference the little things he had told me (assembling a bookcase, having lamb for dinner, visiting SIL for the weekend, getting a sunburn) with the details she was sharing about their life.
Once more, I should have run for the hills. Once more, I didn't. I often wonder how I could have been so stupid as to let this shitshow continue for so long, despite the thousand-and-one reasons Tom had given me to drop him. I can only attribute it to some kind of twisted sunk cost fallacy. By recognising Tom for the monster that he was, I had to face having loved that monster for over a decade. It meant admitting to myself that I was a terrible judge of character, and how could I possibly trust anyone ever again if I could not trust my own judgment? Also, all our mutual friends had always normalised his behaviour to the extent that it seemed almost arrogant to say that HE was in the wrong.
Because of the reactions that I had received from my friends and cousin last time, I kept what I knew to myself, even from Tom. Enter the next ridiculous phase of the story: Tom was saying how he was ordering a passport SO THAT HE COULD COME TO VISIT ME AND MY COUSIN. And idiot that I was, I wanted nothing more, because I was STILL IN LOVE WITH THE SH*T even after everything he had done, now not only to me, but also to his wife Hannah and his son.
I met him in real life five months later. He would be visiting my house for the day, and I was planning to confront him about what I knew. I had given one of my close friends his real name and address, and had told them to contact the police in the event they didn't hear from me by evening - I had no idea how Tom would react when exposed. Probably the fact that I felt unsafe in the first place should have been enough reason not to meet him alone.
We met, and I wish I didn't feel attracted to this 50-year-old but I did. We talked a lot. Eventually, I decided to test him, to see if he would be disloyal to his wife. While our conversations had definitely been flirty over the past year or so, I had never actually been straight with Tom and told him I still felt the same way. So I told him. Credit to him where it is due, he said he couldn't pursue a relationship with me, but followed it up with 'that we could still hold hands and hug'. He did not tell me why he couldn't, of course.
Only then did I reveal what I knew. I told him I've known for months now what his real name is, where he works, where he lives, and who he lives with. I probably could've been a bit more sensitive in how I brought it up (but let's be honest he doesn't deserve it and I was pretty pissed off keeping this stuff inside for 5 months). He turned incredibly pale and said that I could ask him anything I wanted to know. I asked him about his wife and their relationship (which hadn't been good for years according to him), his son (the pride of his life), and why on earth he had chosen to have explicit exchanges with a 15-year-old as a married man ('I was drunk').
During his stay, we were never intimate in the 'spicy' way, but we did hold hands a lot, he would have his hand on my leg, and we shared long hugs. He stayed the nights at my cousin's, and a few days later he left to go back to his country.
I am not proud of what happened next. Over the next months, we video chatted almost every evening. The conversations got flirtier, the amount of clothes we were wearing diminished until we both went into the calls topless.
One night, things escalated. We had gotten into a fight earlier in the evening - he had revealed that during that first real-life meeting, he had made an audio recording of the whole conversation, apparently so he could later prove to his wife that nothing happened. I responded that it was ok (it totally wasn't but that's beside the point), that I had taken precautions as well, and told him about the friend I had contacted. He lost it, saying I had no right to share his personal details with my friend or anyone else. I got angry in return, saying that he had no reason to distrust me as in the 12 years of knowing each other I had never lied to him; on the other hand I had EVERY reason to distrust him as he literally hid a wife and son from me, and had lied to a 15-year-old girl about his age.
We were both emotionally drained after, and I took things a step further that night, and seduced him into doing more together in front of the camera, maybe knowing that he would be too drained to refuse. He asked me later if I had consciously manipulated him into going along with it, choosing a vulnerable moment to strike - maybe I did, and I regret it.
Over the next months, our 'mishap' developed into a full-blown affair. I visited his home-town about 5 times in the year that followed. We kissed, and did basically everything apart from the 'deed' itself. I think he never wanted to have traditional sex either because then he could keep justifying to himself that he hadn't cheated on his wife, or because he was terrified of getting me pregnant. During my stays in his home-town, he would bring his son Jacob along to our lunches and dinners. Mostly to pacify his wife I suspect, for how could it be an affair with his son around? I loved the kid, we got along well, but I hated the lie that I had to live. To put myself through this was one thing, but it was so unbelievably unfair on Hannah and Jacob.
The whole situation sent me into severe depression. I was abandoning my morals for this man whom I still could not trust. I was lonely, and didn't date because I refused to be a cheater myself (maybe hypocritical). With every real-life meeting, his mask slipped further, and by the end there was little left of the charismatic, caring man that I had imagined him to be. Still, I was so entangled with him that I could not imagine my life without Tom. I did not know who I was without this person, who had completely overshadowed at this point almost half my life and all my adult life. I was stuck.
Eventually, I gave Tom an ultimatum again: Hannah, or me. I gave him two months to make up his mind. We spoke daily, and as his 'deadline' was approaching he became verbally aggressive with me, saying that he wasn't enjoying our conversations as much as he used to because I kept bringing up the choice he had to make. I asked him what he needed from me. He said he needed more time. I am ashamed to say I gave him that time.
I was lucky to have found two very close friends among my colleagues over the course of this whole drama. They had slowly witnessed the situation devolve into something unmaintainable. One of them often visited when I had panic attacks; she even slept next to me on the bad nights to make sure I'd be ok. They recommended me to make written lists of the red flags that I saw, the abusive behaviours Tom had demonstrated, and the effects the whole situation was having on me. They made me see how he would never choose me, that he was happy using everything and everyone as long as it served his needs. They slowly guided me into making the right decision during a work conference, when I didn't have time to contact Tom. Being away from his reach for a week, combined with the continuous talks with my two friends throughout the conference, made me strong enough to make a decision. Together, we agreed that as soon as I got back home, I would call Tom and cut ties with him. My friends would be available on call straight after.
Thanks to my friends, I went through with it. I cut contact almost three years ago now. As expected, he did not fight for me, and never tried to contact me again. My friends saw me through the worst of it.
Four months after cutting ties with Tom, I met the man who is now my husband, and we are currently expecting a baby. He makes me unbelievably happy, and has taught me what a loving relationship should feel like. He knows about this whole story and is very supportive. He even encouraged me to post this as he believes it'd help me process things.
I am still in touch with some of Tom's friends: my cousin, his wife, and a 40-year-old woman who has been my friend since the start of this whole story and was my MOH during my wedding. I have decided not to hold it against them that they cannot let go of Tom - hell, I couldn't let go for 14 years. It just demonstrates the horrible grip and influence he has on people. My MOH and I have an understanding that we don't discuss Tom, and that saved the friendship - we actually have a lot in common and enjoy each other's company a lot. I refuse to lose any more people over him.
I am in a good place now, looking forward to the future, and can't wait to meet our child. Still, this experience has not left me unscathed. I still struggle with trust, in other people and myself, and feel that I am responsible for a lot of what happened. I feel incredibly ashamed and naive for my behaviour over the years. I especially feel horrible about what I did to Hannah and Jacob - as far as I know, Tom never told them about the affair, but I would be very surprised if Hannah didn't know what was going on. I do have my suspicions that I am not the only one Tom did this with, but I have no proof, and it does not take away any of my responsibility in all of this.
So reddit: did I seduce Tom as a 15-year-old, or did he groom me and manipulate me into falling for him? Or was our interaction simply toxic on both sides, and not any one person's fault? And AITA for having pursued this affair even after I found out Tom was married? Also, should I reach out to Hannah (though honestly I would be a bit scared to do so, and I don't feel at all like reinserting myself into Tom's life in any way)?
And finally the question that still keeps me up at night: did Tom ruin half my life, or did I do that all by myself? And if I had a role to play in this, am I fit to be a mother?
TL;DR: As a 15-year-old, I fell in love with a man who claimed he was 19 but was actually 40. 12 years later, I found out he had a wife and son, but had become so infatuated with him that I pursued an affair with him. I ended the affair two years later but still feel guilty. I feel like much of what happened is my responsibility, since I instigated most of the intimacy. AITA?