Make up poems for boyfriend

I have never baked before, I do not like cake or sweets. I loved my dog. I adopted him when he was 6 years old and had him for almost 10 wonderful years. Through COVID, alone in our small apartment it was just him and I and he became my shadow. He truly was my best friend. He passed 2 weeks ago from stomach cancer. It was very sudden.
When he passed, on the car ride home from the vet covered in his fur, stool and my own snot and tears I had my boyfriend go into the store and pick up some cake mix and a cake pan and frosting. I can’t track exactly why my brain went where it did, but it had something to do with me not wanting to remember that day as the day scooby passed away/ it was going to be the day I made my first cake.
So I went home and made the worst looking cake in the world. The next day I went to work and everyone ate my cake. (It didn’t look pretty but apparently it tasted very good). I went home that day after work and purchased more cake and more frosting and extra milk and cream and butter and I went to work on a second cake, and then a third. And now I guess I just make cakes as a hobby.
I should also note I work at a middle school/high school. Most of my cakes have been eaten by the kids. I made a cake for one of the kids birthdays and I made a cake for one of my coworkers mothers for Mother’s Day. My piping skills and decorating in general, as well as flavors of the cakes have improved greatly in just 2 weeks. Summer break is almost upon us, so I won’t have anyone to give cake too for a while.
A new hobby grew out of my sadness. As time passes I actually miss him more and get a little more sad every day. But at least there’s cake.

Long Post Warning:
My best friends are twins and we have been friends since we were 8. We are all 24 now. I love them with all of my heart. We were inseparable all throughout middle and high school. There was nothing I would do without them and vice versa. When we went to college, we split up. I decided to go to college near home and they went about 2-3 hours away. That didn't stop us from being best friends though. We would talk everyday freshman year. During the summer after freshman year, I went on an internship to Atlanta. They came and visited for a week and we had a blast. The following summer I went to Florida, again, they came down and we went to Disney together. After that summer, I fell hard for a guy who I worked with. I remember my friends and I went on a trip with the guy. I got us an airbnb to share, but instead of staying in the room with the girls, I slept in the room with him. I think this was a turning point in our relationship because I can see now that it bothered them. They weren't very fond of him and I understand why...now.
Eventually I realized that he wasn't going to be anything more than a friend, so I finally moved on. But I felt like our friendship had taken a toll because of it. Fast forward to about a year and a half later and I met my now husband. At this point, they were wrapping up college in the spring of 2021. Because of my internships, I was graduating a semester late, in the fall of 2021. Once my husband and I started dating, we obviously did everything together. At one point, we went on a group trip. It was me, my husband (boyfriend at the time), the twins, a boy who was (kinda) dating one of the twins, and another couple. I had a great time, but my husband didn't. He's never really been a fan of any of them. After that trip, the other couple ended up breaking up. The girl in the relationship was one of our other good friends from high school. It was kind of a messy breakup and she was, in my opinion, unfair to her boyfriend. I never loved the way she spoke to him disrespectfully. After they broke up, I didn't really want to hang out with her anymore. And the twins knew this. But they were still good friends with her, and that was fine. I told them they were obviously more than welcome to be her friend because she lived close to them, but I just would prefer to not do things with her there.
Anyways, I end up getting engaged right after I graduated. They were in on the surprise and the main distraction for me before he proposed. I love that they were so involved in this process because it made it extra special for me. They were both my maids of honor, they planned my bachelorette trip, helped me pick out my dress, everything. I am so grateful for them. After I got married about a year later, I fell into this HUGE depression. I was struggling with my job which left me with no real time off on the weekends to hang out with them. I had to say no to doing stuff constantly because of my job. I was miserable. I didn't want to do anything with anybody because I felt trapped by my job. I still saw them some, but not as much as I wanted.
I ended up leaving my job this past November. I have never been happier. I have weekends off and I am way more available to do things. But now I feel like I hardly talk to them. We snapchat everyday, but I probably have 1 real conversation with them a week. Today I saw that they are going on a girls trip. To be fair, the girl I don't like is on the trip, but I didn't even get a pity offer to go. They travel constantly with two other girls and I am always left out. I know before I left my job, I would have to say no over and over again, but now that I am in my new position I am free to hang out with them!
I feel like I've lost my best friends. I can't help but feel like they think I don't want to see them now that I'm married. For reference, we never had boyfriends growing up. My first serious relationship was with my husband and of course, I spent of a lot of time with him. The boy mentioned above who "kinda" dated one of the twins, is now fully dating her. It took them a while to be official, but they are so cute and I love that she has someone. I want them to be my best friends again. I want to come visit them and spend a weekend together. But after seeing them go on two trips back to back, I am scared to ask. I feel like they don't love me like they used to. I miss them. I know I haven't been a good friend, but I also think they are just mad that I got married young and maybe make them feel like I don't need them anymore. That couldn't be further from the truth. They will always be my sisters, I just want to go back to us being close like we were when we were young.
TLDR: My best friends from childhood live about 2 hours away from me now. I am married and was busy with work until about 6 months ago. During that time, I wasn't able to see them as much or do fun things. Now, I have more free time with my new job, but they won't ask me to go on trips. I think they think since I'm married, I don't need them anymore. Am I overreacting?

I've tried looking through discography lists, Spotify and, to the best of my ability, Melon. If anybody can point out anything that is missing or wrong, I'd appreciate it.
It is ordered by release date. Other artists are bolded and albums that aren't her own are bolded.
 

Song	Artist	Album
Chillin	CRUCiAL STAR, Fana, Heize	Drawing #2: A Better Man
MAKTOOB	Heize	HEIZE
Even the Little Club	Heize	HEIZE
I Know	Heize	HEIZE
After I've Wandered a Bit	Heize,** CRUCiAL STAR**	HEIZE
Hug Me	Hyobin, Heize	Love Me
My Boyfriend Says Thank You	WHITETEEZ, Heize, Gymjongsoon, ceejay, joomba
Cub	Heize
Pume Sweet Pume	Heize, monokim
Adore me	Tori major, Saero, Heize	Beautiful
Don't stop	Heize, KASPER, Ash-B, HYOLYN, GILME, Ahn Soo Min, YEZI, KittiB,** Moon Sua, **Yubin, Truedy	Unpretty Rapstar 2
Me, Myself & I	Heize, Jessi, Realslow	Unpretty Rapstar 2
Don't Make Money	Heize, CHANYEOL	Unpretty Rapstar 2 Semi-Final Pt. 1
Lil Something	VIBE, CHEN, Heize
No One But You - Intro	Heize	Don't Come Back
Don't Come Back	Heize, Yong Jun Hyung	Don't Come Back
Blind Date	Vanilla Acoustic, Heize	Sweet chemistry
And July	Heize, DEAN, dj friz	And July
Underwater	Heize	And July
No Way	Heize	And July
Shut Up & Groove	Heize, DEAN	And July
Skit: Rainy Day	Heize	And July
Don't Come Back (Acoustic Version)	Heize	And July
Only U	Yu Seung Woo, Heize
Hello! UFO	Heize, Ko Youngbae	Don't Dare to Dream Soundtrack
Star	Heize
Navigation	DAVII, Heize
Round and Round	Heize, Han Suji	Guardian Soundtrack
WONDER IF	Yong Jun Hyung, Heize
Don't Know You	Heize	/// (You, Clouds, Rain)
Dark Clouds	Heize, nafla	/// (You, Clouds, Rain)
rainin' with u	Heize	/// (You, Clouds, Rain)
You, Clouds, Rain	Heize, Shin Yong Jae	/// (You, Clouds, Rain)
Star (Rain Version)	Heize	/// (You, Clouds, Rain)
Sunday	Groovyroom, Heize, Jay Park	Everywhere
In the Time Spent with You	Heize
Regrets	J.Y. Park, Heize	BLUE & RED
Would Be Better	Heize	Prison Playbook Soundtrack
Jenga	Heize, Gaeko	Wish & Wind
but, are you?	Heize	Wish & Wind
didn't know me	Heize	Wish & Wind
wish you well	Heize, DAVII	Wish & Wind
wind	Heize	Wish & Wind
Sorry	Heize	Wish & Wind
It's Okay	Kisum, Heize
Beautiful	Shin Yong Jae, Heize
Only me	DAVII, Heize
Blur	Lee Moon Sae, Heize	BETWEEN US
First Sight	Heize
Run to You	Heize
SHE'S FINE	Heize	She's Fine
So, it ends?	Heize, Colde	She's Fine
No Reason	Heize	She's Fine
Dispatch	Heize, Simon Dominic	She's Fine
Hitch Hiding	Heize, Sunwoojunga	She's Fine
But, I am Your Buddy	Heize, DAVII	She's Fine
Umbrella Calls for Rain	Heize, nafla	She's Fine
Trees Only Look at You	Heize, Jooyoung	She's Fine
Doobling	Heize	She's Fine
E.T	Heize	She's Fine
E.T's Letter (Empty Version)	Heize	She's Fine
Hide And Seek	SURAN, Heize	Jumpin'
Traffic Control	GIRIBOY, Heize	100 Year College Course
We don't talk together	Heize, GIRIBOY
Glue	Far East Movement, Transparent Arts, Heize, Shawn Wasabi
Heaven	EDEN, Heize
Can You See My Heart	Heize	Hotel del Luna Soundtrack
Falling Leaves are Beautiful	Heize	Late Autumn
Late Autumn	Heize, Crush	Late Autumn
Dairy	Heize	Late Autumn
DAUM	Heize, Colde	Late Autumn
Being Freezed	Heize	Late Autumn
missed call	Heize	Late Autumn
I wanna be your first love	Kim Jina, Heize	First Love
Tic Tac Toe	Paul Kim, Heize, Peakboy	Yoo Flash
Destiny Tells Me	Heize	When the Camellia Blooms Soundtrack
If You Give Your Heart To Me	Heize, Colde	Sugar Man3 Episode 1
That's All	Gaeko, Heize	Romantic Doctor, Teacher Kim 2 Soundtrack
Cold	Heize
Lyricist	Heize	Lyricist
Things are going well	Heize	Lyricist
Your name	Heize, ASH ISLAND	Lyricist
1/1440	Heize, Ji Chanel	Lyricist
Not to see you again.	Heize	Lyricist
Love Distance	Jooyoung, Heize
You're cold	Heize	It's Okay to Not Be Okay Soundtrack
Acting	GIRIBOY, Heize	Like A Film: 4 Songs
Can't Sleep	Loco, Heize	SOME TIME
Midnight	Heize, Punch	Do You Like Brahms? Soundtrack
2easy	NIve, Heize
Based On A True Story	Epik High, Heize	Epik High is Here Part 1
RAL 9002	youra, Heize	GAUSSIAN
Doesn't make sense	DAYBREAK, Heize
HAPPEN	Heize	HAPPEN
Like the first time	Heize, GARY	HAPPEN
Flu	Heize, CHANGMO	HAPPEN
Why	Heize	HAPPEN
The Walking Dead	Heize, Kim Feel	HAPPEN
From the Rain	Heize, Ahn Ye Eun	HAPPEN
Hi, hello?	Heize	HAPPEN
Destiny, it's just a tiny dot.	Heize	HAPPEN
Cloudy all day today in Seoul	Heize	Sketchbook Vol. 68****
On Rainy Days (2021)	Heize	Blue Birthday Soundtrack
When it snows	Lee Mujin, Heize
Mother	Heize
walk again	TOIL, Heize, BIG Naughty	Between Sat & Sun
Sleepless	PSY, Heize	PSY 9th
The Last	Heize	Our Blues Soundtrack
Undo	Heize	Undo
Sad ending	Heize, george	Undo
I Don't Lie	Heize, GIRIBOY	Undo
Thief	Heize, MINNIE	Undo
Distance	Heize, I.M	Undo
Love is alone	Heize	Undo
Real LOVE	Heize	Undo
SUPERCAR	Heize	Undo
Traveler	Heize	Undo
About Time	Heize	Undo
Return	Heize
Always be there for you	Heize
November Song	Heize
Dear of the Day	Heize	Themselves Soundtrack
Star (Sleep Mix)	Heize
Ditto (New Jeans Cover)	Heize
Still With You (Jung Kook Cover)	Heize
Vingle Vingle	Heize
Midnight (BEAST Cover)	Heize
Run Away	Heize	BASTIONS Soundtrack
Don't Wanna Go Back	JIHYO, Heize	ZONE
It'll pass	Heize, Jung Seung Hwan
Perhaps, Happy Ending	Heize	Last Winter
Stranger	Heize, 10CM	Last Winter
Last Winter	Heize	Last Winter
Forget Me Not	Heize, BIG Naughty	Last Winter
Picnic of Night	Heize, Chan	Last Winter
Midnight	Heize	Last Winter
FM 89.1	Heize	Last Winter
Loves goes around comes around	Heize	Last Winter
On my mind	Paul Blanco, Heize	Transit Love 3 Soundtrack
Slowly	I.M, Heize
Over (a Hidden Truth)	Heize	I'm The Queen In This Life Soundtrack
Hold Me Back	Heize	Queen of Tears Soundtrack
Where you at	Heize	The Last 10 Years Soundtrack

This has been on my mind for the past few years and this is as condensed as I could make it and I am still leaving out a lot of information, I'm very autistic so bear with me..
I'm 20 years old and have been in a relationship for over 3 and a half years, but have had odd relations to sexuality since I can remember. I can't manage to fully speak up about it in therapy and theres only so much my high libido/hyprsexual partner can help me with, when it comes to figuring out my own, situation. So any input is very welcome and needed.
(FYI I am transgender born female, same as my partner. I identify a little more ambiguously but for all intents and purposes I'm a guy to the general public and have transitioned with hormones. But my boyfriend is, just a guy)
I read about asexuality a lot, and discuss it a fair amount with my boyfriend. He is super understanding about it and has genuine curiosity about the subject which is comforting and all well. But for awhile, it has definetly put a strain on our sex life and romantic relationship given that, I can't tell if I'm ace or not. My partner has what I consider a super high libido (and sexual trauma like me but in the complete opposite direction lol!..) but maybe it's just normal and I think it's high compared to mine. MY libido is elusive to say the least.
Reading about asexuality I've learned that ace people can have sex, which is comforting to know since I do indeed have sex with my partner. I've only recently gotten out of the phase of thinking there is something wrong with me, and trying to fix my low libido because it's "broken". That doesn't sit right with me though. I could be okay just thinking of myself as someone who just doesn't want sex AS much as your average person. But that doesn't fully encapsulate how I feel either. Whenever I describe sex or describe my feelings about it, my boyfriend doesn't understand at all. And vice versa, whenever he talks about his strong desire to have sex with me, I can honestly get uncomfortable, and sometimes I even laugh a little because I just genuinely don't get it or I think he is joking somehow.
For one, I don't really ever initiate sex because I don't think about it much. I've never felt like I needed to have sex so badly. If we have a chance to have sex but it doesn't end up working out, I don't get sad about it. At least not in the same way he does, or the way I see it portrayed in other people. I'm pretty much incapable of going out of my way, to have sex. One time I said I feel like I could never have sex again and my life wouldn't be different. It made him kind of upset at first and I felt bad, but he eventually understood what I meant. The emotional side of sex is important to me, and enjoyable. It's a work out too, and I love being physically active, it makes me happy. I also view sex as a fun activity and experience, and when we laugh during sex or it feels like we're just hanging out, that feels special to me and I see how it benefits our realtionship, It's not like I need that to stop or something...
But... Every time people talk about desire, I genuinely have no idea what that truely means. This real physical urge, and need, for sex. To want it so badly. I barely believe that it's real. One thing that makes me believe I could be ace is how I experience arousal or sexual stuff just on a personal level. Honesty time. I realized recently that whenever I fantasize about sex, through out my whole life, I never think about genitals, or the part that seperates sex from simply kissing or being affectionate/intimate/sensual. And it's hard to connect the situation to me, and MY own body. If I ever do, I start to feel gross in a way, and I can't think about it for long. Most of the time when I'm "horny" or whatever, once it actually turns into sex. It isn't, what I was looking for. Essentially, sex doesn't turn me on. It makes me wonder if I understand what being turned on really is.
It's almost a joke between my boyfriend and I that it is a real complicated puzzle to "turn me on", and it absolutely is. The circumstances for me to be enthusiastic about sex are slim and peculiar, nearly impossible. It's confusing though because we have had some real intense, good times. Typically though... I do not partake in orgasm during sex, and if I do, I do it myself. I get enjoyment out of serving my partner. It used to make me really sad in the beginning of our relationship, I felt left out, or like he didn't enjoy doing things for me, or that it was too hard to make me finish since I take longer. I've come a long way with it though. For more clarification and even more complicated-ness. I do have sexual trauma from my youth where I was forced to do certain things to someone else. It has been really hard to navigate, and asexuality aside, it is it's own monolith to conquer. This whole aspect of being queer and experiencing queer sexual assault, I wonder how much of it just seems like it could be asexuality. My avoidance of being touched or feeling gross about sex, there is a part of it that is definitely because of my trauma, and also being raised in a VERY sexist and "women are sex objects !!" household. But thats a whole other topic I won't get into here. Anyway.
I know that asexuality is a spectrum, and it seems like ace people can experience some forms of sensualness or even enjoy masturbating. Which I kind of do? I think? It honestly isn't super exciting and usually is very short and, not a deep experience or something I enjoy thoroughly. Often it can make me feel even worse! I have two opposing sides, where when it comes to sex, I can be repulsed sometimes. Or just strongly not want to. Some times my boyfriend will tell me how much he wants me in a sexual way and he'll ask me what I want, and, trying to describe how I feel leads to crying a fair amount of the time, because I just don't know what to say. There are a lot of parts of sex that I find gross or just. Why would you want it. The sensory part is a whole other story too. On the other hand, I have other very intense and strong feelings sometimes. But it doesn't feel like desire, it doesn't even feel like sex sometimes. When I think I'm fantasizing about sex, I think about a situation for a looong time, and every detail that would lead UP to sex, but, once it gets to the sex, I don't, think about that part. It has more to do with, the setting. The situation, the colors involved, smells. And not sexy smells or sexy colors, not even sexy situations! I usually just think about being outside, or in a room that has furniture that I like, the colors in the sky, and being held really tight and prolonged eye contact. That's what turns me on, not the sex. Thinking about, things like this in my head feels good, but it isn't quite arousal. It's rare I'll put in effort to make it reality. Even if the situation does come along, I don't feel like I need to escalate it to sex, in order to, get off I guess? Or enjoy it? I enjoy everything that leads up to sex, vastly more.
The most ravenous I ever got over my boyfriend was the one time he drank coffee and I could taste it on his lips. I am obsessed with coffee and, he can't drink it cus it maks him tired, so it was a novel experience. But god it sent me into a frenzy, but once it had to turn into more than kissing or clawing at eachother, it's like how turned on I was didn't count. I didn't want it to go further. I could've just done that for awhile and then stopped and I'd be good. The fact that I felt the way I did actually sent me into a breakdown of sorts and he had to pull me out of it. I didn't understand how I felt and I really didn't want to have sex even though we had great chemistry in that moment. Even though I really thought I wanted to and it felt like being turned on, it just didn't add up. ??? It's like the more "turned on" I am, the less actual sex seems appealing.
During sex, and part of why I am only a giver, is because it's really hard for me to even be turned on by touch. I've never had an orgasm so good where I thought oh I MUST do that again. ?!!?! Even if my body physically reacts, which it's hard for that to happen, it can make me feel gross. I have rarely had sex where I feel like I am just enjoying how my body feels. Some times I can get aroused physically and that's enough but I always have to think about something else. It is a lot of work, and it can lead to me becoming extremly upset and uncomfortable. My body has nothing to do with it. Doing things for my partner is a different story, it's for him and it's more than sex to me. It is fun and takes strength and brain power. It's awesome. And I don't necessarily have to be horny or aroused myself to be present emotionally. I can still have strong feelings and want to do certain stuff.
When it comes to my boyfriend, I am attracted to him, for sure. And my relationship to him is so vulnerable and intimate that I feel comfortable to partake in sex and stuff. But last night he asked me if I'm sexually attracted to him, and I felt so stupid and guilty that I didn't know how to answer. I was just blank and silent. I think he is hot, handsome, we have sex, and I enjoy making him feel good in that way, why couldn't I answer? It isn't a yes or no question to me. It seemed like it should be a yes or no question. Am I ace?
TL;DR: sex doesn't turn me on and I rarely want to have sex and I don't like being touched during sex, but I have intense feelings but they just don't feel quite sexual and I dont have a need to act on them and even if the specific situation presents itself i usually dont want to do it anymore, but having sex for my boyfriend under very specific circumstances can be cool and good, I just dont want any for myself and i cant attach myself to the situation fully, but being present emotionally with my parter, again, cool. its just really hard to do that, while having sex often. is this a form of asexuality?

I am blown away by how much this sub and interest in a female-centric version of Warhammer 40k has become in the last week or so. You’re all amazing!
A few months ago, I had some ideas for a noblebright version of 40k where the primarchs and Emperor were female. The inspiration was cnmbwjx’s incredible art, which I am pleased to see has inspired many of you as well. I considered creating feminine versions of the primarchs’ names and came up with a list. I figure this might be a good time to share it along with my thought process behind them.
Before we begin, this is in no way an attempt to derail anyone’s canon. I have seen several names on this sub that I think are better than what I came up with. I also think there is something to be said for using the original primarchs’ names if that is your preference. Girls don’t have to have “girl names” after all~
Feel free to use these or not. I just wanted to share because I think my thoughts on the origins of the original names and ways to play with them could help others to come up with their own takes on these characters.
This is going to be a very large info dump, so I’m going to divide this thread into multiple threads released daily (hopefully). Some of the names require lengthy discussions (brace yourselves for Konrad Curze) while others require relatively little. I will go through the list according to the numbered order of the primarchs. I think about two primarchs per day will work.
My goal was to come up with satisfying names that stay true to the original names and their meanings / inspirations as possible. Where that was not possible or seemed to produce an unsatisfactory result, I afforded myself more creative liberties to try and capture the themes of the character and the sound of the original name.
I preserved alliteration with the all but one of the original names. I left surnames unchanged.
The majority of my posts will be an analysis of the original primarch names and an explanation of my reasoning for my feminine twist on them. It is my hope these explanations will assist others in their creative processes.
I have also included my suggested pronunciations for the names I think have unclear pronunciations. I did not use IPA phonetic notation because I do not think it is accessible for a casual reader since it requires using a reference list for the symbols. I instead use approximations of English syllables. Please let me know if any are unclear.
Several of these explanations may be straightforward to English-speakers and those familiar with 40k lore, but I think a detailed explanation is more inclusive. I have a feeling this sub will introduce many people to 40k that wouldn’t otherwise get into the official setting, so I want to help make your lore journeys easier.
Finally, I relied on Wiktionary and Wikipedia in researching the etymologies here. I am aware these are not ideals sources, but they’re the best I can do because of my work life. I would appreciate any corrections and supporting evidence. I certainly discovered some issues in my initial research going back through this list.
I: Lioness El’Jonson (Lion El’Jonson):
A lioness is a female lion, so I felt compelled to stick to that. However, Lion El’Jonson is one of the cleverer primarch names.
It’s a reference to Lionel Johnson, a nineteenth-century English poet who was both a devout Catholic and a gay man. Lionel was at war with his own identity, which led him to write the poem “The Dark Angel.” The poem is an expression of forbidden desire and the torment of keeping secrets while trying to stay loyal to a higher power that you believe will condemn you if it found out who you really are. Sounds just like the Dark Angels space marine chapter with their secret shame over something that wasn’t their fault.
While Lioness loses this literary reference, I do feel that valor and fierceness are much more a part of Lion’s character than the secretiveness of his chapter. Therefore, I stuck with referencing the animal, which is synonymous with themes of ferocity and bravery.
II: REDACTED: SIGILLITE-LEVEL AUTHORIZATION REQUIRED.
A mind without purpose will wander in dark places
Feel free to leave a comment on these submissions and this project generally. I look forward to sharing more with you next time~

Throwaway account.
Last night all hell broke loose. For context me (20f) and my, now, ex boyfriend (22m) have been on and off for nearly 2 years. A couple of months ago he broke up with me and I ended up sleeping with another guy once during our break. He then contacted me a day after and although I told him I went on a date with another guy I never told him we slept together out of fear I would lose him again and if he became obsessive about the other guy. I didn’t want a mistake I made to become a magnified slate in our relationship.
We had been together since then and were rebuilding our relationship for the better. I fell deeper in love with him each waking day and pushed out that specific memory from my mind.
Then last night we exchanged passwords on instagram and he looked through my DMs and he found out through one of my friends messages. A lot of tears were poured out and I apologised profusely, that doesn’t even begin to describe how apologetic I was. He said he’d need a lot of time to process this, rightfully so.
What can I do to make things right with him? we have been through so much together to throw this away. I can’t imagine going through life without him in it.
Tldr: I slept with another guy on our break and didn’t tell him until a couple of months later.

After a long time of being undecided and debating names me and my boyfriend have finally agreed on the name Za’Novia(pronounced zenovia) for our baby girl! It’s a variation/mixture of the names Nova and Novi but we wanted something a bit longer. After making a post here asking for help it’s what we’ve decided on! Thank you guys so much for all your help. I’m 100% decided on the name but not sure exactly how to spell it Za’Novia is what I like the most but please give any other variations as well!
Unfortunately we’re also back at step one and lost on middle names. 😅 I’d like to keep the celestial or astrological name vibe going but anything you think fits will do. Some ideas i’ve came up with and liked but just don’t feel like “the perfect one” are Elise,Delaney(Da-Lane-E),Desiree,Dawn, and Wesley. Perks if you can think of anything with the beginning letter D or W as it’s the letter our first name starts with but not required. Open to your opinions on the first name and the spelling and suggestions for middle name. Thank you in advance!

I think this is mostly because my memory has gone to shit. But i don’t hold grudges, i can’t hold grudges even if i wanted to. My parents for example, the biggest thing my parents have done to hurt me is lie to me about my biological dad, created a whole fake scrapbook to keep up with the lies, with false dates and names. I would not have found out the truth if The biological father (who i don’t have in my life because i chose not to) hadn’t found me and told me the truth himself. My parents made this all about them, my mom made excuses for herself and my dad felt betrayed and ignored me for weeks when the truth came out, he expected an apology from me. I never had a good relationship with my dad, i thought i hated him he was always angry at everyone, he was verbally abusive and strict af, i couldnt breathe around him. My mom stopped defending me because he would just yell at her and then she would yell at me saying she would never defend me again. Every terrible argument i had with my parents ended with me telling myself “remember this feeling remember how hurt you are-remember their words dont forgive them for this” But i always forgive even without an apology. I moved out almost 2 years ago and i feel safer, im not used to arguing and being yelled at anymore, but now ive become more sensitive to everything, i still see my parents from time to time and when they yell or bicker with me in the slightest i cry and i kind of start to tweak out. They look at me like im crazy and tell me i dont know how to handle discipline i dont need to cry over everything. I dont want to fucking cry but i cant help it and knowing that im making a fool of myself just bawling my eyes out makes me more angry with myself and my reaction to things. My mom has put me in mental hospitals just because she didnt know what to do with me anymore. After my first and only attempt to take my life she became reliant on mental hospitals to just take me away whenever things got bad. And that brought more trauma, so mucb happened to me in those places and she swore it was meant to help me. Then i was in a residential treatment center for 2 months, i had to live there, i didnt see the outside world at all. Thats when i got diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and thats when i started to hate myself more. Theres so much i could say this isnt even half, now all i will ever be is my trauma its made me into such a complex person and i cant deal with myself anymore. I dont feel a strong love for my parents, i could move to a city far away and never talk to my entire family ever again and i would be fine, except my little siblings ofc id miss them. No matter what i can forgive my parents which is without saying because they’re all i have. But even past boyfriends , past friends who have destroyed me i can still talk to them because i dont remember the hurt i felt only the action, and i do forget sometimes, so people take advantage of that, the people in my life know that they can walk all over me and i wont hold it against them for too long. Because im used to being hurt and betrayed, and i feel like its whats i deserve

This has been going on for months and I just need to get it out because it's eating me from the inside.
I (25m) have been with my girlfriend Miranda (26f) for 4 years and had proposed to her at the end of September 2023. I say girlfriend because around February she had called off the engagement to the shock to everyone. No one knows the real reason except me and to this day, it hurts thinking about it. Miranda had started working at a company close to where we live around mid December only working 6-8 hours a day and 4 days a week. I work about 40 minutes away at a factory 12 hours a day but 3 to 4 days a week. We survive decently with what we make. I tend to put more hours in to spoil her as much as I can. Around January, I had noticed that she would be out later than usual. Usually she would come home and we would play some games together, watch a movie or just talk about her day before I went to bed early, but now she would be home by the time I was in bed. I just chalked it to her being busy talking to a coworker or not realizing it's time to leave. It stayed like this for a while but I trusted her. Then one day she came home early and told me we needed to talk. I had just got off a long shift but I had missed talking to her so much that I didn't put any thought on what she had just say. She sat me down and told me that she loves me but realized she is also poly and that she wants to explore that side of her while still being with me. I will say that I do not have anything against people who are poly because I know friends who share that lifestyle. For myself though, I am not really into that. I told her I was uncomfortable with it and in response she told me if I really loved her I would let her explore. She told me I'm just being insecure and that I would still be the main person just she would also have a boyfriend. I ask her if she has anyone in mind and she gave me a look before saying she's been talking to a guy at work named Lenny. Of course I was upset, and told her I would need time to think which surprisingly she gave me. At that point, all I could think about was how I gave all my love, time, and money to this woman but she wanted something else. At the time I was going to end things with her but I didn't end up doing it. I couldn't leave her even if I wanted to deep down because I loved her just as much. In the end I let her do what she wanted under the rule of, she couldn't bring him back to our house. She also ended our engagement saying it would be easier for all of us for now. For months I lived with the fact that the woman of my dreams was also with another man. I continue to pretend everything was alright even when I felt I knew it wasn't. Mid March though was when I felt like I couldn't stand it any longer. I had found out she was now seeing another guy as well as Lenny and now I don't know what to do. I'm at my limit but we have so much together. I'm thinking about just leaving but I'm very close with her family and I don't want any negative feelings to happen if I do. I also don't want to lose the friendships I have even though I have a right to just go. Most of our mutual friends came from her. I don't know what I did that made her feel this way. As far as I know, we had a strong relationship. Whatever she wanted, I made sure she had, I took her and her friends wherever and paid for it. I'm also helping her family when they need it.
I'm sorry if anything did not make any sense. I just wanted it off my chest and I don't really have anyone but her family and her friends.

I think this is mostly because my memory has gone to shit. But i don’t hold grudges, i can’t hold grudges even if i wanted to. My parents for example, the biggest thing my parents have done to hurt me is lie to me about my biological dad, created a whole fake scrapbook to keep up with the lies, with false dates and names. I would not have found out the truth if The biological father (who i don’t have in my life because i chose not to) hadn’t found me and told me the truth himself. My parents made this all about them, my mom made excuses for herself and my dad felt betrayed and ignored me for weeks when the truth came out, he expected an apology from me. I never had a good relationship with my dad, i thought i hated him he was always angry at everyone, he was verbally abusive and strict af, i couldnt breathe around him. My mom stopped defending me because he would just yell at her and then she would yell at me saying she would never defend me again. Every terrible argument i had with my parents ended with me telling myself “remember this feeling remember how hurt you are-remember their words dont forgive them for this” But i always forgive even without an apology. I moved out almost 2 years ago and i feel safer, im not used to arguing and being yelled at anymore, but now ive become more sensitive to everything, i still see my parents from time to time and when they yell or bicker with me in the slightest i cry and i kind of start to tweak out. They look at me like im crazy and tell me i dont know how to handle discipline i dont need to cry over everything. I dont want to fucking cry but i cant help it and knowing that im making a fool of myself just bawling my eyes out makes me more angry with myself and my reaction to things. My mom has put me in mental hospitals just because she didnt know what to do with me anymore. After my first and only attempt to take my life she became reliant on mental hospitals to just take me away whenever things got bad. And that brought more trauma, so mucb happened to me in those places and she swore it was meant to help me. Then i was in a residential treatment center for 2 months, i had to live there, i didnt see the outside world at all. Thats when i got diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and thats when i started to hate myself more. Theres so much i could say this isnt even half, now all i will ever be is my trauma its made me into such a complex person and i cant deal with myself anymore. I dont feel a strong love for my parents, i could move to a city far away and never talk to my entire family ever again and i would be fine, except my little siblings ofc id miss them. No matter what i can forgive my parents which is without saying because they’re all i have. But even past boyfriends , past friends who have destroyed me i can still talk to them because i dont remember the hurt i felt only the action, and i do forget sometimes, so people take advantage of that, the people in my life know that they can walk all over me and i wont hold it against them for too long. Because im used to being hurt and betrayed, and i feel like its whats i deserve

Like the title said. If I have an open tin of a fizzy pop and my boyfriend can take a sip and like instantly, that can is contaminated to me, like I won’t touch it, it makes me feel sick.
It’s especially with water bottles, I wouldn’t share one with my mum, I don’t share my bottled drinks with people and if I do, I end up not drinking it because the idea that someone else has drank from it makes me feel so gross, like typing this out is making me feel like imma cry?? Wtaf.
Like once, I had a bottle of cola cherry and my Nan was thirsty and asked for a sip and I was like “ok :(“ because I didn’t want to say no and be unpleasant, but guess what happened to the rest of the bottle? Down the drain and in the bin :(
My boyfriend once drank from my can of tango and it sent me into a spiral where I almost started crying, in fact, I think I did start crying lol! He ended up drinking my can of tango and his own because I wouldn’t even drink his.
It’s not just bottles, but eating from the same fork/spoon as someone makes me feel vile, especially if there’s residue food on there! I just stare at the utensil like it’s an alien until they put it away!
I definitely don’t have ocd, I’m autistic and adhd so that could be something to do with it??? I just get so angry when people do it as well! Especially when they know. It’s like, getting to a point where I don’t feel like I can keep my cans in the same room as him or he’ll accidentally drink them and then I get sad lol.
Just wanted to get this off my chest cause it’s kinda goofy :)

My boyfriend (M 33) and I (F 27) met on Reddit and have since developed into a long distance relationship. I created a throwaway account because I don’t want him to know I made this post. On our first video call together he looked woefully and transparently uninterested in me as though I wasn’t what he expected. I abruptly came up with an excuse and ended the call but I must’ve looked clearly upset because he went on to call me back and explain that he was shy and didn’t like to do video calls. I overlooked that. This would go on to be a topic of contention because I frequently express to him that I don’t think he genuinely likes me.
But here’s the thing, we spend hours on the phone talking. He talks about his family with me. He texts me every morning and seems generally happy. He’s helped me with an assignment for school and granted I don’t talk much but he spends a fair bit of the time talking ( I don’t frequently have much to say). He tells me when good things happen and when bad things happen.
My concern is however, we were on ft today. I initiated the video call and a few minutes into the call he was texting on his phone, flipping through pictures and just seemingly distracted and I watched as he maneuvers his phone through the glare in his glasses. I didn’t say anything and pretended to be busy myself. He eventually stops and says I have his undivided attention. He is frequently on SM and is always updating his posts on SC, IG, Tiktok and WhatsApp. I personally don’t have any social media presence and refrain from sharing my personal life online.
However, I caught him when he didn’t think I was looking rolling his eyes while we were on ft and it seemed directed at me as though I was bothering him and he wanted to get off the phone. He quickly switched as though nothing happened and went on talking. His birthday is coming up and I am refraining from bringing it up because I don’t want to make it into an argument. A few hours pass and he messages me after the call and tries to strike up a conversation. I responded but I’m reserved and now today I noticed he has intentionally not messaged me this morning. What am I doing wrong? I feel like I’m the problem and the reason we argue. Am I reading too much into this?

I think this is mostly because my memory has gone to shit. But i don’t hold grudges, i can’t hold grudges even if i wanted to. My parents for example, the biggest thing my parents have done to hurt me is lie to me about my biological dad, created a whole fake scrapbook to keep up with the lies, with false dates and names. I would not have found out the truth if The biological father (who i don’t have in my life because i chose not to) hadn’t found me and told me the truth himself. My parents made this all about them, my mom made excuses for herself and my dad felt betrayed and ignored me for weeks when the truth came out, he expected an apology from me. I never had a good relationship with my dad, i thought i hated him he was always angry at everyone, he was verbally abusive and strict af, i couldnt breathe around him. My mom stopped defending me because he would just yell at her and then she would yell at me saying she would never defend me again. Every terrible argument i had with my parents ended with me telling myself “remember this feeling remember how hurt you are-remember their words dont forgive them for this” But i always forgive even without an apology. I moved out almost 2 years ago and i feel safer, im not used to arguing and being yelled at anymore, but now ive become more sensitive to everything, i still see my parents from time to time and when they yell or bicker with me in the slightest i cry and i kind of start to tweak out. They look at me like im crazy and tell me i dont know how to handle discipline i dont need to cry over everything. I dont want to fucking cry but i cant help it and knowing that im making a fool of myself just bawling my eyes out makes me more angry with myself and my reaction to things. My mom has put me in mental hospitals just because she didnt know what to do with me anymore. After my first and only attempt to take my life she became reliant on mental hospitals to just take me away whenever things got bad. And that brought more trauma, so mucb happened to me in those places and she swore it was meant to help me. Then i was in a residential treatment center for 2 months, i had to live there, i didnt see the outside world at all. Thats when i got diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and thats when i started to hate myself more. Theres so much i could say this isnt even half, now all i will ever be is my trauma its made me into such a complex person and i cant deal with myself anymore. I dont feel a strong love for my parents, i could move to a city far away and never talk to my entire family ever again and i would be fine, except my little siblings ofc id miss them. No matter what i can forgive my parents which is without saying because they’re all i have. But even past boyfriends , past friends who have destroyed me i can still talk to them because i dont remember the hurt i felt only the action, and i do forget sometimes, so people take advantage of that, the people in my life know that they can walk all over me and i wont hold it against them for too long. Because im used to being hurt and betrayed, and i feel like its whats i deserve

TLDR: Been with my boyfriend (24M) for 4.5 years, but his sex anxiety (3 years) has killed intimacy. We recently moved in together and I'm thinking about breaking up. Love him but don't see improvement. Anxious myself & worried about losing him + social circle. Should I prioritize my happiness?
My boyfriend (24M) and I (25M) have been together for 4.5 years, but things haven't been great in the bedroom for the past 3 years. He developed anxiety around sex, and it's put a real damper on our intimacy.
We moved in together 6 months ago, and lately, I can't stop thinking about breaking up. He's noticed I'm withdrawn, and we almost called it quits 2 months ago. We both ended up in tears and promised to try harder. On his end, he's mentioned he's working on it and thinking about ways to address the anxiety, but honestly, I just don't see any improvement.
It's been 3 years, and his anxiety isn't showing any signs of going away (you might guess that from my post history, haha). The thing is, I feel like a total jerk for prioritizing my needs. I mean, who breaks up with someone over sex, right?
But here's the thing: I love him. Like, a lot. I can't imagine actually going through with a breakup. The problem is, I also have social anxiety, and I haven't exactly put myself out there to make new friends. (Yeah, yeah, I know, I messed up, don't judge!)
If I break up with him, it feels like I'll lose everything - my best friend, my whole social life, everything. I'd be completely alone, and that terrifies me. Am I throwing away the love of my life because of a sex issue, or is it okay to prioritize my happiness? Help a lost redditor out!

I (22F) been dating this guy (22M) for about seven months, and we've recently made it official. Initially, we spent most of our time together, which was fun but left us neglecting personal time. Lately, I feel anxious when he makes weekend plans with his friends, as I often don't have plans and worry about how I appear to him. I understand his need for time with the boys and am okay with that, but it bothers me on weekends because I usually don’t have plans. I try to make them, but most of my friends are busy. Sometimes, I pretend to be busy on social media to counter this feeling. We've discussed being transparent about plans, but I still feel like I’m walking on eggshells, trying to figure out what he’s doing and if I’m invited. We've both been in long-term relationships before, and my biggest takeaway is trying to avoid ending up resenting each other. I hear how his friends talk about their girlfriends, and I’ve witnessed multiple relationships where they seem to hate each other low-key. The boyfriend is always walking on eggshells trying to avoid making his girlfriend mad, and the girl is always mad at her boyfriend for something. I want a relationship where my boyfriend wants me around, including with his friends. I respect his need for boy time, but then I think about when I spend time with my group of friends and how I would love for him to be there because it’s fun and exciting. It makes me question why he doesn't feel the same way. He doesn't always commit to weekend plans with me, which is confusing and makes me anxious. Despite our communication efforts, I still feel uneasy and act strangely, which I fear affects our relationship.
TL;DR: I've been dating my boyfriend for seven months, and while we enjoy each other's company, I feel anxious and neglected when he makes weekend plans with his friends because I often don't have plans. I respect his need for boy time but wish he included me more. Despite our communication efforts, I still feel uneasy and worry this will affect our relationship.

So I live in Ireland and my wife and I made friends with a girl from New York through work.
She stayed with us for a few days when stopping off in Ireland on 2 occasions and we got on like a house on fire. We talked about wanting to go to New York some day and she was adamant about getting us over to stay with her and her BF and she would show us the best of new york.
My Wife and I saw this as a motivator get the ball rolling and finally visit new york for 7 days. Nearly 2 years later, we flew over the new york and our friend picked us up from the airport to go to her apartment in Brooklyn. We were so excited.
We finally met the boyfriend who was a bit aloof and smoked alot of weed. On the first day, she said she was tired so we thought that's fine as we just flew 7 hours too.
The bed we stayed on was actually a pull out couch that was so uncomfortable that we slept on the mattress on the floor.
On the next morning, I got up and asked for some toast and she said there was no bread, so I had to find something down in the corner store that looked somwhat nice for my wife and I.
The friend knew how much we wanted to see new york (all the tourist sights too) but only decided to get moving into the city in the evening around 5pm on day 2 for a show downtown that I had booked and paid for the week before.
Once the show was over ($260 in total including food and tip) the friend couple looked to go back home but I suggested a stroll toward midtown. They agreed if we stopped for drinks on the way. The whole thing felt a bit off but we tried to make conversation and was excited by the city around us.
On day 3 my wife and I decided to take the same route to the city as our friend's were not making an effort to get ready, even though she was talking about the different places we could see together across the week to come the nights before.
I suggested a last minute hotel in the city in private to my wife to be closer but she thought that was a bit disrespectful to our New York friends.
When our friend was with us in Ireland she was cooked a breakfast everyday, food deliveries were made every evening and her clothes were washed, all at our expense.
When we were in the apartment in Brooklyn she would come in with snacks and not offer us anything and we were using the same towel in the shower since we arrived (3 days) also. The vibes were strange.
My wife had enough of sleeping on the floor among the several cats and agreed we should move into the city. We packed up on morning of the 4th day and broke the news to them.
For the rest of that day after we left and checked into the hotel ($700 lighter) my anger towards them had ramped up and I was stewing with resentment but the problem was that we had paid plans with them the following evening (the only plans they kept)
As soon as I saw them the following evening my blood was boiling and I didn't speak to them for the whole evening, not one word.
My Wife was making conversation as she noticed my silence and was giving me secret looks.
I felt bad but I literally couldn't think of a single thing to say and felt I owed them nothing at the same time to make things more comfortable.
I felt like a child but I really couldn't snap out of it. They suggested a late cabaret show, I bowed out to stay back at the hotel and my wife went for a few hours and got a cab back to the hotel.
The rest of our time was amazing but the holiday was tainted as we had to cram everything in that we originally wanted to do. We were meant to see them on the last day but were so tired from catching up that we cancelled and never saw them again. The friend was meant to bring us to JFK bit was mot bringing it up in the messages to my wife so I figured out the route by train.
I kinda wish I had faked the effort but at the same time wanted them to feel awkward as they seemed so oblivious overall.
Sorry for the long post but going to New York was always a dream of ours and feel a little cheated out of what should have been a completely positive experience in an amazing city and it cost around 5k in total too.
I would love to hear some thoughts if you made it this far. Thanks for your time.

My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for a while. He didn’t want to make things official between us at first because we were both scared. Early February I found out he had tried to set up to have s3x with some girl in the last week 2 different times. I confronted him, he cried and said he obviously came to my house both of those nights instead and knew he had messed up and didn’t want to lose me blah blah blah. He asked me to be his gf , my dumb self agreed. Now my big thing , I have 2 kids , 3 and 5. Recently since being around them more he wants to try to help me when they won’t listen. In some ways I don’t mind another voice to be like hey you need to listen to your mom. But it seems boundaries are not respected anymore. I try my best when it comes to my kids as we just got away from their dad last summer (felony strangulation charge) he was arrested and I was finally able to leave the situation with my boys. In conclusion my kids have been through hell when it comes to a male figure. This morning my oldest woke up 30 mins earlier than usual for school and came into my room to say good morning and cuddle up with me. Bf told him he needed to go back to bed that it was too early. I told my son he did not have to go back to bed to go play that I was coming. Before I got out of bed my son was running up and down the hall playing. Said bf told him he needed to stop running bc we have neighbors downstairs etc. I spoke up to keep the air clean and said hey buddy don’t be running rn please. Well a minute later he ran again, bf got a bit louder and repeated for him not to be running. Happened again and before SCREAMED. I looked at him and said okay this is enough there was no since in that. He was very inconsiderate and then went to apologize to my son , but it wasn’t like a meaningful apology. I got upset and started crying bc wtf have I gotten myself into with this. My kids like the guy a lot and I feel like recently he shows his true colors more and more in many diff ways. I have say down with him and cried and expressed that he acted differently compared to when I first met him. Idk I’m at a loss, I didn’t even want a relationship when I first met this guy and I ended up meeting him and ofc he played a role of someone who actually cared about me and my situation. How do I handle this civilly, he made a comment over text earlier saying something like this how many other men do you know that would love a single mom and her 2 kids like I do. This crap hurts and I feel so back and forth on what I should do. Please don’t bash me as I am hurting.

I have been with my boyfriend, we'll call Andy, for just over a year. Although i have been on lots of dates before him he is my first ever proper relationship. 3 days ago he took me his familys house for his dads birthday family dinner. I was under the assumption that the only people that would be there would be Andys siblings and parents. I was wrong. His whole family was there. Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Grandparents, Great grandparents even distant relatives he hadnt seen in years (his family is very rich and have a huge house able to accommodate everyone)
I get very anxious around large groups of people especially when im not expecting it and i don'y know anyone so I was sticking by Andys side the whole night engaging in polite conversation with everyone. When everyone was seated for dinner Andys mum spoke up and asked me if Andy was my first boyfriend. I confirmed and she said 'I guess i can excuse it then'. When I asked her about it she just said I was being so clingy to Andy the whole night and not letting him see his family. I explained my situation about my anxiety to her and all she said was 'He's a man, he needs his freedom, he doesn't need you stuck at his side'. I have always been taught to defend myself so i started to say how i was sure Andy didn't mind and ask her to not bring this up around 30 people but Andy interrupted me and told me not to disrespect his mother like that.
I asked him how it was ok for his mother to call me clingy but not ok for me to defend myself and he just told me to be quiet and let his dad enjoy his birthday. I didn't want to create more of a scene so I did that. The only thing that made me feel better was when his older sister said, 'It's ok I feel that way sometimes as well' but still, I kept getting dirty looks from everyone around the table. I was close to tears so before desert came out i told Andy that I didn't feel comfortable or welcome here so I was going to go home. I stood up claimed to be feeling sick and that i was going to go home. No one stopped me but Andy got up followed me out and asked me to stay.
At this point I started crying and tolf him i felt so attacked in that room and i was really upset that he didn't stand up for me or even mention that he initiated some of the hand holding and sticking together throughout the night. He apologised but I told him I didnt know if i could be with someone like that. That made him start crying asking me not to leave him and that he loved me. I just told him i needed to think and got into my car and drove home. Its been 3 days and he has sent me a few messages before saying he'd leave me alone.
I really like him but I don't know if i can trust him to stand up for me around his family or even others. I also can't help but feel i'm blowing this way out of proportion which is making me feel worse. I really love Andy and I don't want to lose him. Can someone please give me some advice on what i should do.

I (23F) cannot seem to initiate sex with my (22M) boyfriend. I’ve always had an issue with touching and other things due to some sexual trauma I won’t get into. Recently, I have overcome some of this and started to be able to give to my partner.
Now, my issue is that I can’t figure out how to initiate it. For the past two years of our relationship, my boyfriend has initiated for the most part. But, he voiced to me some time ago that he is feeling tired of being the only one as he feels I never want to have sex.
I have tried to remedy this by verbally telling him when I want to. He has not really received this well and doesn’t count it as initiating. I’ve tried other things like kissing and doing small tells to let him know I want to but that also isn’t enough for him. He wants me to do all the initiating myself from time to time which I have explained is very anxiety inducing for me.
What can I do to get more comfortable with initiating? Are there ways I can get my confidence up? How can I communicate to my boyfriend how I am feeling? I can feel that my boyfriend is upset and I want to do my best to make us both feel comfortable and happy.

My mom has done this my entire life. I would do x and then she would get angry and sulk all day. She would give me the silent treatment or she would be passive- aggressive with me. She's doing it again and I'm not sure why. Here's how it started:
My parents and I went to my brother's graduation this weekend at an elite university. My mom and I sat next to each other during the graduation while my dad and my bro's boyfriend took photos and bonded over photography gear. My mom patted my back, and said "I'm proud of the both of you. Your father and I never thought we could raise two lawyers. Today is your day too." I responded, "Thanks mom, but today is my brother's day, not mine." I love my brother and I was careful to make sure my bro's day doesn't get ruined. He said he wanted to be taller than me in photos so I wore flats instead of heels.
Then my mom showed me the photos she took of my graduation and the likes and comments she received after she posted on Facebook. I noticed that she didn't use my name, only my initials. I'm a trans woman and my initials stayed the same. I told her, "That's not my name." During the reception, my parents took some food, but they kept chewing and talking with their mouths open, so I very discreetly nudged them to refrain from doing so. They seemed to have taken it okay. My brother wanted to introduce our parents to his professors, but my parents were shy, and possibly insecure about their 8th grade education. I still tried to nudge them over to meet them because I knew it meant a lot to my brother. My parents ended up not meeting his professors.
During dinner prep that night at my bro's apartment, my mom tasked me with washing the gailan (vegetables). Before I even started, my mom came over and said briskly, "That's not how you wash vegetables!" I responded, "Okay, you do it then." Then she yells at me, "I've tolerated you long enough!" I was taken aback by her sheer anger. I waited a bit and washed the vegetables my own way, upset that my mom couldn't trust me to wash vegetables. I cooked the vegetables myself. When my mom tried it, she forced out a "these are quite good." Of course it's good, I taught her the current method she uses to cook gailan. Throughout the weekend, my dad and brother commented on how mean she sounded. I called my partner holding back tears. I feel like I was unwanted, since I was only tolerated. It's odd because I try to move out and my mom keeps pressuring me to remain living with her.
That Sunday, I told my mom "Happy Mother's Day." She just looked away and said "thanks." When my brother woke up, he took the flowers that I bought for his graduation to my mom and said "Happy Mother's Day." She laughed and smiled.
When we got home, she laughed and said "Oh, I forgot my medications, that's why I was in such a bad mood." I figured thing were fine. I'm housesitting this week so I got to be away from my parents, but I went home to pick something up last night and she remained upset. She just sulked and directed her anger at me. I ask her what's wrong. She said "You always look down on me, like I'm not your mom. Look how you treated me all weekend!" I ask her if it was because of the gailan issue. She said she was angry at me before then. I asked her if it was because I told her not to open her mouth while she's chewing. She said it wasn't.
At that point, I was tired and just went off on her. "I don't know why you're angry. We have a communication problem in this family. No one talks about their issues. If you don't tell me your problems, it's only your problem, not mine. If you can tell me what your problems are, then maybe I can help. Honestly, I think you just like being angry. It's as if you're afraid that if you're not angry, you don't know how to be a person. I want you to think about what I said. I'm not going to think about why you're angry." (Ironically, I am wondering, but she doesn't need to know that.)
Then I left. My dad came outside with me and said "don't worry, I'll work on her."
So, I cried to my partner. It's so ridiculous, all my life I feel like I'm dealing with this big scary authority figure. But I'm dealing with someone who would tell an 8 year old daughter that she would throw her out in the street because her grades weren't great. I'm dealing with someone who wouldn't listen to her attorney daughter's legal advice, which is simply, "As a spectator, don't say anything in the courtroom." (She got thrown out of the courtroom because she kept interrupting.) I'm dealing with someone who kept discouraging their daughter from practicing law because "I'm too weak" and someone who said "shame on you" when I said I aspired to become a judge.
I'm just so damn tired. I already gave up my inheritance. I don't want it anymore. Besides, I don't care about its material value. I only see it as a symbol of their love. Anyways, I decided I'm going to move out, no matter what she says.

I f17 and my mom f35 have a rocky relationship, and it has gotten worse since my abúser finally left. Growing up I never had a good relationship with my mom, she was barely around when I was a child. But when she was we always argued, or she would scream in my face and beat me with a belt until I was bruised. She was a lesbian most of my life until I became a teenager. My mom and my grandmother made me out to be a bad, bratty, and lazy child just because I didn't want to clean my room or would argue back. My mom had taken me to a doctor because of my "bad behavior" and I got diagnosed with ADHD. The first time I had ever seen my mom get in a relationship with a man, let's call him "Jim" it went well for maybe the first year. He was like a father figure to me. Because my parents had separated before I was born due to my dad's schizophrenia. But after a while, Jim started showing his true colors. And had went off on me for the first time when I borrowed his old phone without asking. Due to the fact that the only entertainment I had were books. The phone had a radio app on it and I would listen to music. I had come home from school to find my room torn up where they had been looking for it. When I went into their room he was rolling cigarettes and I hugged him saying I'm sorry. He threw me off of him and started screaming at me, so I went back to my room. It got worse over time, and I was convinced that it was normal for parents to discipline their child like he was me, it had normally consisted of, screaming, hitting me, even giving me a small concussion. They had put locks on the fridge, freezer, and pantry, along with taking the nobs off of the stove so I couldn't turn it on and make something for myself. My mom didn't cook everyday and a lot of the times I had to go off of just what the school gave me. The day before Halloween when I was 13 I took a candy bar out of my moms purse because I hadn't had anything sweet in a long time, so my mom called the cops on me for theft. Then when Jim came home he screamed at me again. Instances like that happened a lot more. We later found out Jim was on hardcore drùgs and it had caused what we thought was his bipolar. So when he would argue with my mom he would find a reason to bring me into it and punish me. Or he would take something of his and put it in my room when I wasn't in there, or in the garage where my stuff was and take pictures of it before taking it out and showing my mom the picture so he could find a reason to get mad at me and take it out on me. He was with us for around five years and even if it isn't that long, it still left a scar nonetheless. He and my mom had my little brother who is now 4 years old. When my mom finally got rid of him she found a new man to bring around. Let's call him "James". James has been my mom's saving grace. He took care of our financial problems and added stuff to our house we never would've thought we'd have. But after a while he started trying to act like my dad, I didn't mind it at first but it became overbearing after a while. My mom ended up favoring James and my little brother. It was small things, like when she went shopping shed but a lot of food for the three of them and buy me one thing, expecting it to last me for 3 weeks. That one thing usually being a small bag of pizza rolls. My relationship with my mom got worse and worse as time went on and it got to the point where an incident happened and she sent me to a residential therapy facility for 5 months. When I came back things were better until I noticed her favoring them getting worse. This new years of 2024 I got into an argument with James. Which led to him packing his stuff. I locked my door so I could calm down and my mom came banging on my door saying she would never be happy as long as I was around. And hearing her say that made me do something that lead me going to a mental hospital. When it was the last day before I came back. My mom wouldn't let me come home and I had to stay with a family member until I was accepted to go to a trade school where I would live on the campus. I later found out it was because James said he would leave if I came back and she once again chose him over me. I'm now going to this trade school and sometimes go home on weekends for doctors appointments. My mom's best friend who's like a second mom to me told me that if I got terminated from here my mom was going to put me in states custody. That broke my heart, and since then I'll never look at my mom the same, I pretend to be nice, I respect her, and pretend we have a good relationship now, but when I turn 18 I'm going to move in with her best friend and her wife. The only thing keeping me from cutting her off is my little brother. I will never forgive my mom for chosing her son and boyfriend that's only been around for 2 years over me. And even her best friends sife with me and see what she's doing wrong. But my grandmother still makes me out to be the problematic child and saying that I shouldn't hold a grudge because she was just doing her best. So aita for holding a grudge?

Hey guys so I’m a bit confused about my relationship. Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 4 years and it was pretty toxic. For the most part , I would argue about the way that he would act when I break up with him. Let’s say we argue and I say “I’m done” for like two days, he would go text a girl which is too quick and weird instead of fixing things. Then when I would ask he would say “it was out of anger”. So basically , one day I decided to break up with him because it just felt like I was the one always complaining and nagging. I called him at 3 am, I broke up with him and he said “wow broke up over the phone…tuff”. Then throughout the days he decided to stalk my page and he asked me randomly if I cheated on him in the relationship???? Like why would you ask me this after I break up and then he was like “okay I guess this is forreal now”. So the last day of the break up I called him and said we can get back together now and he said “no I want to talk to other people , I didn’t care that you left, I don’t love you anymore, other girls are attractive”. He said I broke up with him so he asked for a girls number. . REMEMBER, I told you guys we used to argue about how everytime I would break up he would bring in another girl and say “anger”. Guys I was with him for 3 years how did all of that happened because I broke up with him for 7 days😂. He said “we were so toxic so I thought about something new” “I don’t know what I want”then why were you asking me dumb questions on the break instead of leaving me alone. Now we got back together and when I ask why he said those things he just says “out of anger” and asked for someone’s number “out of anger trying to move on”. 7 day break. 3 years.Immature or no?
So later that same night we got on the phone and he started CRYING so bad. He said “I just feel wrong and guilty for thinking girls were attractive and getting the girls number and saying bad stuff in my head about you”
Fast forward a couple of months when I ask him about it he says “I didn’t wanna talk to no girls I was just mad, if I didn’t care you would see me talking to someone else” but didn’t he ask for someone’s number?
I just want to make sure that this boy cares about me nothing like this ever happened .
Can someone please tell me what happened here, especially in 7 days.