I had a very bizarre dream where i was in a type of mall walking, all of the sudden i saw these very small cats, they were super small, i followed them into and they walked into the wall in very small holes, i peeked through the hole, and held one of them with my hand, they were very cute.
I was like these cats are tiny! So i recorded through the hole my holding what i thought was the tiny cat. When i watched back the recording in my dream, the tiny cat i was holding transformed into this crab, spider like thing, it looked scary, in the video a weird human head and eyes appeared from the spider like thing which made me scream in the dream, then the head of a frog came out of the side of the spider thing croaking in a very odd way.
Once i saw that in the dream i felt a painful stab in my right side of my body, i woke up with that painful feeling and still have that feeling now. What could all of this mean?

out of school at 16 failed all my exams, worked construction for a year. Breakup at 17 (gf shagging my best mate behind my back) which led to me having a meltdown and then led to large scale bullying and harassment by my entire friend group (apparently watching someone falling apart is a amusing and they found it funny to keep throwing fuel on the fire) then led to me locking myself indoors for the last decade. I live in a tiny rural town and they all still live here and all still regularly throw shit at me out of cars and verbal abuse almost every time I go outside. I want to literally burn them in their house while they sleep.
I just wanted an apprenticeship in carpentry and joinery, mortgage wife and kids.
I'm now a 27 year old tramp living at home with grandparents with a hatred for the world and absolutely zero hope for the future. Can I start off again where I left off now I am on disability benefits and slowly managing to function as a normal person again?
I fucking hate sitting at home wasting my life but I don't know how else to get into the trade without going through an apprenticeship. 10 FUCKING YEARS. Alone in a room with no memories friends or any life experience. My head is a mess and I am 100% a danger to any one who took part in the bullying.
What the fuck do I do, I can't do another year of this. I literally want to just go out and delete as many of the people that put me in this situation as I can before the police turn up and put me down or the poison kicks in than do another fucking year like this. This is not a life worth living and I don't see a way out. I'm not about to swing myself from a fucking tree without getting my own back on these people but ideally I would rather fix my life than drag these cunts into the dirt with me.
Talking with mental health services did nothing but bring me attention and police visits so I've told them to stuff it.
If joinery is out of the question how the fuck do I start working independently. I can build dry stone dykes (walls) and basic slabbing and driveway stuff without any need of experience. That about all I can confidently do.

Burning during bowel movements can be a distressing and uncomfortable symptom, affecting millions of people worldwide. While occasional burning may not be a cause for concern, persistent burning may be a sign of an underlying medical condition that requires attention. In this article, we will explore the common causes of burning during bowel movements and provide tips on how to treat this symptom. Whether you’re experiencing mild discomfort or severe pain, it’s important to seek medical attention if your symptoms persist.

i just need to talk about this in a straightforward manner
** premise **
so i've been going through / dealing with this spino-abdominal condition since early winter or around the beginning of spring this year (2024); i started seeing a chiropractor for it at the end of April...
from my chiropractor's POV, the problem is represented by a fckn wicked rotation of my spine n especially the upper torso / thoracic regions , with my ribcage showing the most pronounced damage- it was reminiscent of an automobile collision for him, with respect to the structural changes to my body, if that helps create an image... more specifically , my hips are severely uneven (e.g., > 3mm apart), with "sinking" occurring in the right side of my entire spine through to my neck...
my head has always been tilted , and so i wonder if there were any predispositions; however , the problem of my cervical regions isnt the tilt , its that now everything has been shuffled forwards- yanno the infamous "gamer posture," that thing...
i feel such horrible suffering , i can't live like this anymore; because my spine is doing this , my left rib flared out and the right one is sunken-in , which made my intestines become dislocated and my entire set of "core muscles" rotated to my left side and posterior area / back of the spine , it feels so bloody horrible- many sensations i have , others do not , because the wiring is screwed up in this way... for example , gently touching my stomach produces petrification and panic within my emotions , and a firm touch or push upon my abdomen is even stranger in effect- it invariably makes me think of suicide , which is so stressful and unwanted , it is just as disruptive as anyone imagines ; i really mean it that i cannot live any fckn life like this.... the interface between myself and reality is broken , i cannot even recognize this body that is said to carry me
** background / cause **
apparently all of this happened from doing my bloody masters program , n just being at the computer for so many hours without moving- n laying or leaning on my left , so things eventually rotated n now my right is so weak its not even comfortable to use...
the ways i embodied my stress n anxiety had a hugeeeeeeee role to play as well , it is so interwoven into my physical activities of the past that it is not even worth distinguishing ; that i did not even move for so long , for example...
** going forwards **
i don't even know , sincerely ; i wish i would just perish somewhere alone
i try everything i can , massages n stretches n fasting n more
i dont think anyone will see this but can offer advice if u do

Ouch! I generally do very well with pain and any kind of surgery so I’ve been a little bummed how hard this one has been to recover from. I keep reminding myself that I had MAJOR surgery and to give it time but I am bored and ready to start feeling like myself again. I am used to working out 6 days a week and I feel like a slob.
Still have the drains but they are draining about 15-20 every 12 hours so that is a huge improvement🙌🏻
I also have to remind myself that I was opened up and sedated twice on surgery day.
My procedure went well and I was sent home from the surgery suite after a couple of hours in the recovery room. I normally wake up really quick from anaesthesia and ready to go but on the way home I noticed that I was talking out of my head and my vision was turning dark. My husband got me home and when he tried to get me out of the truck I passed out cold. He called for my son to come out and help him. While waiting, he looked down and there was a pool of blood on the driveway and in his truck seat. It took them a while to get me to come to and once they got me back in the truck, he took me straight back to the surgery suite. The doctor and anesthesiologist talked and decided they needed to open me back up to see where the blood was coming from but also thought it was best to take me to a hospital setting. They put me back to sleep and found that a small vessel had been nicked during surgery so they repaired it. That stopped the internal bleeding, but it took them a while to get my blood pressure back up and they ended up having to give me a bag of blood. I was finally sent home around 10:30 at night and been ok since then.
I have had too much time on my hands to think about all that could have went wrong. I also keep thinking about what else could go wrong and need to stop. Trying to keep my eye on the prize!
What day did you feel like you had turned a corner?

I don't necessarily like venting to my family or the little friends I have anymore about this since I don't want them to know how weak of a person I am because this breakup killed me back when it first happened. This all basically starts in 2019, I had just graduated highschool, started college in the fall and was heading into 3 years of being with my at the time highschool bf, now ex, and things were kind of weird. Maybe it was the high emotions of being launched into adulthood or maybe I was going insane who knows, either way I started getting really depressed that summer. So many things were happening all at the same time like my cat dying/running away, losing friends, health issues, etc. and it felt like the order of my world was crashing down. I felt crazy because I also felt like a child with so much on my plate and to be quite honest I still do. I loved my ex boyfriend I really did and I still have some love for him present day but we had already had some tensions built up from previous matters that I started just piling and piling up in my head and there was only so much more I could take honestly. The first time he really broke a piece of me was when I had to go to a scholarship acceptance banquet and they completely fucked me over so I left crying and since I went there expecting to eat I left hungry so I went to get food and drove to see him after his shift and we ate in my car or more like he ate in my car while I cried and he kind of listened because in the middle of ranting he turned up the music in the car because "it was a good song", mind you I was still crying. After this anything he did that slightly pissed me off started getting added into my pile of grievances. Also in my eyes after we graduated from Highschool he did start to seem distant at times, one of the habits he grew was constantly being on his phone while on dates, sometimes even texting a girl I told him to block because I felt insecure. I know what you are probably thinking, another girl that just won't let her boyfriend have a chick friend. You know yea basically but one thing that got me really insecure is he would constantly play games with girls and be all chummy with them but when I asked to play it was always "maybe later" and well later never came except for one time when he asked me to play minecraft with him so I bought minecraft just to play,even though I know it gives me severe motion sickness, and we played for maybe 30 minutes until he was tired left and we never played again even when I asked for it. After a couple more incidents of him just not caring about my feelings I won't lie my eyes did start to wander off of him a little, I never acted on this because this really scared me due to being with my ex for so long and only knowing him and all I could think of was how could I possibly be so cruel and just leave him like that, so I continued to stay and at this time I still had the motivation to work things out. A couple months pass and I am still pretty depressed and suddenly I start having this feeling of no emotion at all. I feel like maybe this is what some might call desensitization but I haven't looked into it all that much. I felt like I couldn't feel happiness, sadness, anger, anxiety, basically any emotion I had ever encountered was now gone out of nowhere even love was gone. This loss of emotion affected everyone around me not just my ex, I literally didn't even love my parents, that is how bad it was. Our anniversary passes and I'm going through out it but we make it to 2020. Of course like most people this is where shit starts going south because well 2020 was the year of the pandemic. I'm in my second semester of freshman year and I'm still struggling internally without telling anyone about what I am going through mentally. Worst thing about this was that I could barely tell my ex about it because he in the past made fun of his best friend for having to be in a psych ward, which was another addition to the pile might I add. Due to the nature of him casting me and my emotions aside once the pandemic was in full swing I slowly implemented my way of casting him aside slowly but surely to give him a taste of his own medicine. Was this petty yea but did I do it... yea. So during the pandemic of course we would talk but I spent more time playing games, doing exercise/losing weight, and getting back into my hobbies. At this time I don't think it bothered him that much because I was still giving him his doses of attention and he was giving me mine so like whatever I suppose. But then at some point during this shift I remember being on snapchat after hours after he said he had gone to bed and checking where all my friends were on snapmaps, and thats when I see him in the middle of a parking lot alone around 2-3am in the morning. I start trying to make rational thoughts like maybe thats the last place he was when he opened snapchat before going home to bed so I just snap him out of curiosity and I can't remember what I said but it was something along the lines of "i cant sleep miss you send a pic" and he opens it right away and I really couldn't tell where he was in the picture. I open the snap map again and he's still in the parking lot and I ask him what he is doing and he just says trying to sleep. Obviously not.... To this day I don't know what was up with that, sometimes I want to think he was maybe getting weed or something late at night but lying to me because neither of us did substances of any kind at that time but I suspect he was cheating maybe. This was like a huge break in my sanity and after this I became even more distant and sometimes I wouldn't even text him during the day and sometimes he would do the same for me too. Something completely snapped in me a couple of weeks later and when he was hanging out with his friends I decided I needed to call a break. I think this is truly where I messed up and where things could've gone positively for me if I didn't do what I did next. We met up a day later and he was crying while I explained to him everything I had/was going through and how all the things he did were finally getting to me and I remember looking at him crying and feeling nothing but telling him it was a break and that I just needed time to think and that we would more than likely get back together. The beginning of this break was like heaven to me. I felt pure bliss and it felt like everything that was wrong had washed away in an instance. I remember sunbathing outside with my cousins maybe a day or two after that meet up and just being so happy about just breathing outside. I don't remember texting my ex that first week much as my dad had also gone through emergency surgery and I was dealing with that. Second week we started just checking up on eachother a little and third week I think is when we met up and I once again told him we would get back together soon and it didn't feel like a bad idea anymore to be honest. I genuinely think I just needed a little time and space. After that we saw eachother once a week and we'd just chill and talk and at some point we started getting physical with eachother again and genuinely I felt pretty good about getting back together this time around. One of the last times I spoke to him in a loving way I remember him not having his glasses on and telling him how glad I was to be able to see his eyes without glasses on and how pretty his green eyes were... Then the next week we broke up because I found him, in my opinion, emotionally cheating on me with someone over the internet, which he denied. The way I reacted to finding this out was crazy, I felt so insane and don't even understand all the things I said and did but I did them. I was pissed off at myself because there was no way I had let myself get vulnerable all over again with him and regaining my emotions just for him to fuck me over like that. I was utterly devastated, especially thinking that I couldve broken up with him and ended up emotionally okay but then I let him break up with me. This breakup was a huge rift in our circles, my friends hated him, his friends hated him and some of them even asked me out after this, which was weird and still is considering these people are still friends with him but I digress. Although at the time of our breakup he acted like there was potential for us dating again and how he would always have a place in his heart for me he actually moved on rather quickly to the person I caught him texting. Felt like I gave him so many chances but he gave me zero. If anyones gone through a breakup they know that deep sinking feeling straight in the chest. I felt that shit from June to November nonstop everyday. I was going insane being in my own body. I became anemic and developed an ED because of how little I was eating. My mom tells me about how when I slept in her and my dads room the first month she would watch me sleep because she could see how much of a toll the breakup took on me, she said it looked like my eyes had completely sunken in and that my collar bone looked like it was cutting through me. Basically I looked like a walking lifeless corpse was how bad I took it. I won't lie I stalked my ex hardcore the next couple months because I couldn't fathom him being so happy when I was in so much pain. Thankfully once my birthday arrived I didn't feel as bad anymore and I was able to celebrate with a smile on my face with my family. Once 2021 hit I vowed to let go and stop checking up on him and start living my life and it was honestly going really good... at first. Because once I stopped stalking him he decided to make multiple accounts to stalk me. I immediately knew it was him and I won't lie I entertained it, I enjoyed the attention I received from someone who now probably regretted his decision. I let it go on a little until I sabotaged it, because in my mind if I exposed him to his partner at the time maybe just maybe he would come back to me. WRONG COMPLETELY WRONG. He lied his way out of getting into trouble somehow after I confronted him and his partner at the time and it left me feeling more drained than ever. This time it started a downward spiral for me so bad that I had to start antidepressants and to this day I still take. Yet after all of this I still miss him. I know I am weak and stupid and everything else inbetween but that's just who I am. I hate myself for wasting my early twenties to being depressed over this but I can't do anything about it now. I've been single ever since and he's on his second partner now since me. I didn't start finding people attractive again until the middle of 2023 and since then I have entertained the idea of bumble and tinder but I cannot fathom it. I want an organic relationship with some new but sometimes I want lovers to enemies to lovers again with me ex idk. The only reason I'm venting about this was because I went on facebook and one of my friends memories had him in middle school in it and I lost it. Hope someone can be entertained by my stupid love story or maybe someone can feel not so alone in this evil love filled world.
also I kept some things out because I don't want to embarrass myself more than I already have

Legit idk what it is I can’t sleep at all. I will sleep 30 min-1 hr of sleep wake up and can’t sleep for long periods of time. I have lost a considerable amount of weight bc I just am not hungry no appetite at all. I force myself to eat. I cry a lot for no reason I get stuck in my head. I don’t want to do anything at all. I’ve felt break up pain but this is seriously a different breed of hurt. I even started getting chest pains and stuff. I’m trying hard to get it together it’s been basically a month now. I know the first month is hard but idk this is harder than any other break up. Any tips at all really would be so helpful.

I experienced a really weird sensation but I have no idea what it may be. This morning I woke up really early to go to the toilet, in the middle of doing my business, I started having this awful sensation that spread through my whole body. It wasn't pain, but it was awful, I couldn't stand it and it made me feel sick. I couldn't stand it and had to lay down for it to start going away. Even tho I haven't experienced this before, the sensation felt really familiar but I couldn't place it. I often get some dizziness when standing up, but that happens right after getting up not 2 minutes later, and the sensation was totally different (The only thing in common is it going away by laying back down). I have no idea what it can be or if it should be a concern? If you have any idea I would appreciate the help. I am a 23 you male, with no health problem history. I don't know if it's related, but I've experienced (Or at least thought I experienced) some symptoms these past few months: Fatigue, headaches, palpitations, a feeling of pressure in my head and often humming in my ears (For most it comes and goes, at some point I had all of them almost daily, now i rarely experience them, except the fatigue and lac of energy). I have consulted my doctor who prescribed a full blood panel, and everything was normal. She then oriented me to a cardiologist and just advised me to take magnesium and said it may help with the fatigue (Which may have helped since i think it's a bit better now). I consulted a cardiologist who did a full consult and found nothing abnormal. I ended up dismissing my symptoms as being mental and due to depression and/or stress. Thank you.

Hello everyone,
I'm writing to you because I need some advice.
Today I'm exhausted.
I (F35) have been in a relationship for a year with a man (M33) who initially seemed mature to me.
He ran into a few problems in his new apartment (he'd just moved from another region) and quickly came to live with my mother and me.
It was a real pleasure, but as time went by our relationship deteriorated.

• My mother is jealous of a third person in the house and has become unbearable (but that's my problem, and I'm looking for a place to live).
• He has problems with his family, his friends and his former partner (these people don't respect him, they don't care about his feelings and sometimes ignore him completely).
• He suffers from anxiety

Lately, he's been taking out his frustrations on me: he's got a problem somewhere, and it's 100% my fault, even if I haven't done anything.
Example: I ask him to set limits with his friends because their lies hurt him and he's only used when they have time = it's my fault I want to isolate him.
We have an appointment, I tell him it's not the right date and he maintains that it is, so we go on his date, but of course he made a mistake = crisis, saying it's my fault and that he missed a morning's work for this appointment.
He can't finish his projects fast enough at work because he loses concentration = it's my fault, I call him 7-8 times a day (no) to break his concentration.
His back hurts, he wants to see a specialist and I tell him he's going to be in a lot of pain and that the best thing would be to see a doctor first.
He prefers the specialist and ends up waking up in the middle of the night moaning and groaning, telling me it's all my fault that he's a specialist, while I'm having a sleepless night because I can't sleep because he's making so much noise, so it's my fault for “breaking” his sleep.
We're on the phone, I'm telling him something that's just shocked and traumatized me, and meanwhile he's heating his meal in the microwave, except that it's a salad, and he's yelling at me, telling me that I'm responsible for everything and that he's very thin-skinned and that I never talk to him about normal things (which isn't true), and so on.
It's like he always "cries" like he'll breakdown and sometimes he hurts his head with his hands to make it stop.
This is my daily life and I can't take it anymore.
Today I'm really exhausted by this situation.
I'm looking for a place for us to live, because I know he can't afford rent at the moment, and that would mean going back to his parents, who are doing him a lot of harm
I try to help him on a daily basis in his work (with advice), in his relationships (with advice), I've even had him see someone because I really want him to pull through but I can't live with this kind of behavior anymore.
I have my own worries and I'm trying to rebuild myself, and I understand what anxiety is because I have it, but I never act like this with him, and when I'm down, I try to see him as an ally and not an enemy.
The problem is that at my age, I'm afraid I'll be alone for good because I've put on a lot of weight due to treatment and I have a job that doesn't pay much and I'll never find someone again, so I'm hanging on...
I'm literally lost.
Should I risk being alone or try to help him?

Folks, I don't know how to explain what happened to me this evening except that He was with me and made a miracle happen. My girlfriend and I were driving home around midnight from a gas station where we had purchased some (non alcoholic, for the sake of clarity) drinks.
As I made the final turn from the cross street on to my street, I saw what looked like an explosion, heard an extremely loud bang and the immediate burst of tinnitus that comes from a gunshot, and instantly felt a sharp pain just below my left ear. The street we were on is dark and while we both know in our hearts what happened, we didnt see who fired the shot. Best I can recall, there was nobody on the street except for someone way too far away for us to have heard the shot so clearly and felt it's impact so instantly.
Somehow I managed to continue driving and make it back to the confines of my apartment parking lot, while holding my ear- having now seen some blood on my hand that was pressed up against the earlobe. On inspection, we found a bullet sized hole in my driver side door and a matching sized hole below my earlobe.
Here's where things get truly miraculous. My girlfriend is completely fine. Not a scrape on her. My ear is basically fine as well. There's a scrape on the lobe and the aforementioned hole just below it. We went to the ER and they confirmed via CAT scan that there is no bullet in my head or body, nor was I able to find any further holes in my car. At the ER, I got the wound cleaned and sutured.
Given how loudly we both heard the bang from the shot, there is no logical explanation as to why I still have an eaam still alive, and why my girlfriend suffered no injuries at all.
This was His work to keep us both as safe as possible in what was a harrowing ordeal. I can't describe to you all how thankful I am that He was with us both tonight. It's a terrifying world out there sometimes, but His plan is always in place. Peace and love, all. Stay safe.

(Not replacing anyone, just looking for a few more writing partners) Hey hey, fiends. I'm Sneak, your friendly (debateable) neighbourhood goth. I'm 25F, am "one of them queers", pronouns are she/her and I'm looking for roleplay partners!
I'm no stranger to roleplaying + writing and have been doing so for about 10-15 years now. Looove to write, create/draw characters and worldbuild, and have been doing that since childhood. Fantasy or fantasy-adjacent genres have always been my bread and butter, as well as sci-fi, historical settings, etc. I have a few settings I've been feeling like writing in or basing something off of -And more if any of these don't quite float ya boat.

• 1920s Fantasy setting
• Post-apocalyptic setting/Fallout universe
• Classic DnD Fantasy setting
• 80s/90s Sci fi (drawing inspiration from Cowboy Bebop?)

I've already have quite a few characters, some more fleshed out than others, but I do really like building them over the course of roleplays (I don't rp with canon characters). I'll often make new characters from scratch if the story calls for it, and often write as multiple characters too. I write in 3rd person exclusively.
I'll admit it, I have a strong preference for romance featuring in a story.... Especially slow-burn. Which, heads-up - I'm absolutely gonna be geekin' out about it outside of the rp to you too, about memes, general brainrot, the like! In terms of pairings, I'm in the mood for some cliche types of rps, lol. So think - enemies to lovers, person x bodyguard, royal advisor, etc.
And finally...I really, really want to click socially with people I roleplay with as I love chatting in-between roleplay replies. Getting it out there - I am also the sort that likes brainstorming/planning for a couple of days first, chatting before writing + getting to know who I'm writing with. Geek out, ramble about all your ideas + what you'd like from the rp. Being friends with writing partners is a must! I've rambled enough. Look forward to hearing from ya'll! Throw a DM my way and tell me a bit about yourself!
NOTE-**

• For my own preference, I only really write with people who are 20+, so when you message me, I would prefer if you state your age!

hi!
so i’ve (f, 18) been diabetic for almost two years now and last year, i ended up going on birth control (implant in arm.) this was because i used to get really bad hormonal headaches and thankfully, this implant has helped.
however, before and after the implant, ever since i’ve been diagnosed, my sugars LOVE to play up just before and during my period. as of now, i do not get my period due to birth control, but every month, i always have a crazy hormonal spike when my period would be and it still effects my sugars.
i have some insulin resistance and my blood sugars stay high, then after a week or two, they’ll behave like normal and stop going high and i have to change how much overnight insulin i have. i’m just wondering if anyone else has the same problem.
i handle them really well still, it’s just a pain sometimes because it’s always a constant struggle to get them right. because i’ll wake up and oh no! sugars are 16 mmol/l, gotta double my overnight insulin. i know it’s my hormones playing up because of other symptoms, like acne and again it’s the same ish dates i used to get my period on. i also know that hormones can and definitely do have spikes in your bloods, but ugh, its just frustrating. even when i don’t eat they still go high during this time.
so anyone else experience similar?

I 21 male, am at a Resort with my family in central us. I have 2 father's (my adopted father's are gay) and 1 sister with me on this vacation and about 15-20 minutes I was woken up to being touched on my thighs and private area. At first I thought I was dreaming but my heart sunk as soon as I noticed the seriousness. I layed there trying to pretend I was sleeping kinda hoping I'd fall back asleep while being touched so I wouldn't have to experience it. My entire body was drained of warmth and I completely disassociated as my heart raced in fear, imagining if I'd tell my girlfriend, requindling relationships to trauma dump this, how'd this be gym motivation, I tried to even pretend a woman was doing it so I'd feel less terrified. My other father laying in a bed just 5 feet away from the one we were sharing, I was terrified he'd here the movements as they'd gotten more serious and I'd be the reason for their divorce, his mental health ruined, my sister experiencing her father's separation. Regardless of how far I could get my thoughts to wonder, I couldn't help but be snapped back to the terrible reality I was in, I started to consider it rationally... I've been through pain in the gym and the pain eventually fades, I've been through pain during hard breakups and eventually those emotions become so resigned to the back of my head that they're hard to recall. I figure I'd let him use me because it's just be a moment in time that I could forget and he still threat me so well, which he does. (Since the ordeal was just so recent it's hard to process sorry if this is rambling). In all honesty eventually I tried to enjoy it, though I'm openly straight and I know I am, I figures their must be a reason people are gay. I processed It by thinking a how a young teen might not know the pleasure of a sexual experience and be put off by advances of someone even of the same age that they're attracted to. I was hoping for a while I was actually bisexual. I'm not. I eventually stopped him when he tried to take off my pants. I wish I were drunk, or high so I'd never know this happened I feel kinda ashamed I let myself be so vulnerable and let someone have so much control as a result of their position in my family. I know I can't be the only man out their whose been in this position.
Tomorrow I will wake up crack jokes and laugh with this person. I will swim with my sister, I will text my girlfriend but I'm scared on how this will affect me moving forward because a part of me wishes I were just torn apart.
For more context:
He planned this, I thought is suspicious that he fell asleep in my bed that I'd share with my sister but he's done it before. It makes me a little worried that he's done this to me before without me noticing.
I have been doing well before this but I have a history of self harm, depression and social anxiety. On the bright side I feel like any conversation couldn't be as bad as what I just experienced so I'm excited to see who I talk to tomorrow.
I hope you guys comments and ask questions the only reason I'm posting this is that their's nobody awake its 5.50. I probably would have vented to a random text buddy on instagram.
Apart of me realizes this is just another page in my main tragedies in my life that'll make me feel proud that I've made it through, or others feel hopeful, or impressed with my resilience. It's a selfish thought. Unfortunately for me I can't process this and holy horrible my emotions now are so complex.
Please don't try to identify who I am.

(Not replacing anyone, just looking for a few more writing partners) Hey hey, fiends. I'm Sneak, your friendly (debateable) neighbourhood goth. I'm 25F, am "one of them queers", pronouns are she/her and I'm looking for roleplay partners!
I'm no stranger to roleplaying + writing and have been doing so for about 10-15 years now. Looove to write, create/draw characters and worldbuild, and have been doing that since childhood. Fantasy or fantasy-adjacent genres have always been my bread and butter, as well as sci-fi, historical settings, etc. I have a few settings I've been feeling like writing in or basing something off of -And more if any of these don't quite float ya boat.

• 1920s Fantasy setting
• Post-apocalyptic setting/Fallout universe
• Classic DnD Fantasy setting
• 80s/90s Sci fi (drawing inspiration from Cowboy Bebop?)

I've already have quite a few characters, some more fleshed out than others, but I do really like building them over the course of roleplays (I don't rp with canon characters). I'll often make new characters from scratch if the story calls for it, and often write as multiple characters too. I write in 3rd person exclusively.
I'll admit it, I have a strong preference for romance featuring in a story.... Especially slow-burn. Which, heads-up - I'm absolutely gonna be geekin' out about it outside of the rp to you too, about memes, general brainrot, the like! In terms of pairings, I'm in the mood for some cliche types of rps, lol. So think - enemies to lovers, person x bodyguard, royal advisor, etc.
And finally...I really, really want to click socially with people I roleplay with as I love chatting in-between roleplay replies. Getting it out there - I am also the sort that likes brainstorming/planning for a couple of days first, chatting before writing + getting to know who I'm writing with. Geek out, ramble about all your ideas + what you'd like from the rp. Being friends with writing partners is a must! I've rambled enough. Look forward to hearing from ya'll! Throw a DM my way and tell me a bit about yourself!
NOTE-**

• For my own preference, I only really write with people who are 20+, so when you message me, I would prefer if you state your age!

Hello everyone,
I'm writing to you because I need some advice.
Today I'm exhausted.
I (F35) have been in a relationship for a year with a man (M33) who initially seemed mature to me.
He ran into a few problems in his new apartment (he'd just moved from another region) and quickly came to live with my mother and me.
It was a real pleasure, but as time went by our relationship deteriorated.

• My mother is jealous of a third person in the house and has become unbearable (but that's my problem, and I'm looking for a place to live).
• He has problems with his family, his friends and his former partner (these people don't respect him, they don't care about his feelings and sometimes ignore him completely).
• He suffers from anxiety

Lately, he's been taking out his frustrations on me: he's got a problem somewhere, and it's 100% my fault, even if I haven't done anything.
Example: I ask him to set limits with his friends because their lies hurt him and he's only used when they have time = it's my fault I want to isolate him.
We have an appointment, I tell him it's not the right date and he maintains that it is, so we go on his date, but of course he made a mistake = crisis, saying it's my fault and that he missed a morning's work for this appointment.
He can't finish his projects fast enough at work because he loses concentration = it's my fault, I call him 7-8 times a day (no) to break his concentration.
His back hurts, he wants to see a specialist and I tell him he's going to be in a lot of pain and that the best thing would be to see a doctor first.
He prefers the specialist and ends up waking up in the middle of the night moaning and groaning, telling me it's all my fault that he's a specialist, while I'm having a sleepless night because I can't sleep because he's making so much noise, so it's my fault for “breaking” his sleep.
We're on the phone, I'm telling him something that's just shocked and traumatized me, and meanwhile he's heating his meal in the microwave, except that it's a salad, and he's yelling at me, telling me that I'm responsible for everything and that he's very thin-skinned and that I never talk to him about normal things (which isn't true), and so on.
It's like he always "cries" like he'll breakdown and sometimes he hurts his head with his hands to make it stop.
This is my daily life and I can't take it anymore.
Today I'm really exhausted by this situation.
I'm looking for a place for us to live, because I know he can't afford rent at the moment, and that would mean going back to his parents, who are doing him a lot of harm
I try to help him on a daily basis in his work (with advice), in his relationships (with advice), I've even had him see someone because I really want him to pull through but I can't live with this kind of behavior anymore.
I have my own worries and I'm trying to rebuild myself, and I understand what anxiety is because I have it, but I never act like this with him, and when I'm down, I try to see him as an ally and not an enemy.
The problem is that at my age, I'm afraid I'll be alone for good because I've put on a lot of weight due to treatment and I have a job that doesn't pay much and I'll never find someone again, so I'm hanging on...
I'm literally lost.
Should I risk being alone or try to help him?

Every night for two weeks I’ve experienced what I believe to be sinus pressure headaches. Pain in my left cheek sinus as well as the left temple area. It’s only in those two spots and I’ve tried allegra, steam inhalers, and many other antihistamines to no success. Are there any other DIY solutions for this? Bc I don’t have medical insurance so I can’t see a doc

I (28F) met a guy (45M) at work. He's my superior but he treats everyone respectfully and doesn't push his weight around. It's safe to say that he's the first guy who lingers on my mind. I've never been in a relationship before and I'd hate to think that I misinterpreted his act of kindness and caring as signs that he maybe kinda likes me too.
For context, we weren't that close until last July when he announced to our team member that he has nose cancer. Maybe because my dad passed away from cancer recently that I felt empathetic to him. He had to stay off work for almost 3 months to undergo chemo and radiation treatment plus to recuperate. That was when we started chatting online almost on a daily basis. We talked almost about everything, sharing funny reels as I wanted to get his mind off his treatment. Despite our age gap, we share many interests like anime, art and photography to name a few. We've been to several events and movies together but usually with other colleagues present. We still chat but on a weekly basis now that he's back to work and we meet on weekdays at work.
I didn't read too much into it until last Friday when I broke down in front of him for the first time due to some family issues. Naturally, he listened patiently and patted my head and hugged my shoulders to comfort me. He patted my head before on several occasions when I faced some troubles at work but I always thought he just treated me like a younger sister. Then the following Sunday, he asked me out for a drink after our colleague's wedding at night. This was the first time we went out alone together. We talked until 3am in the morning. He's a pretty chatty guy and did most of the talking but I was content with just listening. He confided in me about his worries for his family and his cancer (he's a cancer survivor now). He talked about how painful the treatment was and even contemplated s*****e. It really breaks my heart how he secretly feels anxious but still pretended to be funny to others.
I was even more certain of our chemistry when we met yesterday to attend an anime exhibition and comic art festival. We stopped in front of a booth that caught our eyes at the festival. There was a handmade clay figurine that he picked up and showed me. I complimented that it's cute. He bought it the next second, took my hand and placed the figurine on my palm. I was flustered for a second and said thanks. My heart was pounding and I swear I may have blushed so hard! It feels like a date to me at that moment. We even shared water from his bottle. It feels kinda personal to me as I don't make a habit of sharing drinks with anyone and assumed most people don't like it either. We went to get my fav dessert (coincidentally his fav dessert too) and the day ended with us getting his favourite korean barbecue for dinner and went back to our separate homes at 12am. He patted my head again when I got off his car!
Here's a few reasons on why I think he likes me a little:-

1. He sometimes jokingly tells other team members we went on a date when in fact we went to a work meeting.
   
2. He bought me several gifts, mainly figurines of an anime character that I like and model kits- both on my birthday and normal days.
   
3. There was a woman who was interested in him and kept pestering him, wanting him to send her his recent selfie. He jokingly said he will send her a picture of him with me to lead the woman into thinking I'm his girlfriend.
   
4. There was once when I cried in front of my other colleague (let's call her 'J') at a mall during our lunch break. When we were walking back to our office, he happened to be there because he was going to meet up with 'J' for work. He was texting on his phone and was pretty far away. I didn't greet him because my eyes and nose were red and I didn't want him to see it so I blended within the crowd and walked passed him thinking he didn't see me. I didn't expect him to notice me at all as he asked me after work if I was feeling sad. At first I thought 'J' told him that I cried but she texted me later explaining she did not say anything to him, instead he asked her all of a sudden if I was sad.
   

Sorry for the extremely long post but I really needed to know if he likes me or just treats me like a younger sister. His friend told him once that his past relationships went bad because he tends to care for girls that seem pitiful and doesn't share same family background as him. He has a healthy relationship with his family while all of his ex-girlfriends came from unhealthy family or single mothers so they were more demanding and controlling. I didn't want to misunderstand his feelings as fondness when he just feels pity for me.

My daughter is extremely tender headed. She has full on meltdowns in the chair y’all, sobbing and everything. I can tell it really does hurt + the anxiety that comes with knowing she’s going to be in pain is too much for me!
How do you minimize pain? Any medicine suggestions? If it helps she has sisterlocks and she gets retwists with a crochet hook. She dislikes every part of the process and it hurts me that she’s so upset.

First: https://www.reddit.com/HFY/comments/14vo5lb/troublemakers_deaths_pity/
*previous:* https://www.reddit.com/HFY/comments/1d3yvie/troublemakers_parabellum/
......
Go'mon stormed through the castle corridors. He'd sensed something slip beside him during his encounter with the vampire lord. It wasn't just that damned top hat with the thief's prints. No, it was more subtle than that, it was the sound of a gossamer chain rattling against cloth. He scanned every square inch of the hallways as he walked, slowly twirling the Warhammer in his off-hand as he calmly held the pistol muzzle-up towards the ceiling. He'd barely gotten a glimpse of what almost looked like mist as he stomped through the grand halls with paranoia-fueled, seething anger. Abruptly turning a corner he fired the revolver at what he thought was that pesky invisible parasite.
The shimmer shuddered and he switched to the visible spectrum to find out it was just a tapestry in front of a heating vent.
Go'mon let out an enraged scream, tearing the tapestry apart with his bare hands after casting his weapons aside in a fit of rage and impotence. The visage of Monarch D'vinn looking out from the top of a bombed-out hill in battered armor at the shattered remains of the once human-occupied city, being shredded like single-ply latrine paper by go'mon's molecularly edged cybernetic claws. Having spent his rage on the tapestry, he panted dramatically as his heart pounded in its cask. Turning around he let out another furious scream, howling madly as he scanned the hall with thermals. His Hammer and revolver had disappeared without a trace.
The sudden blare of a Klaxon made him pause as he adjusted his armor, forcing himself to calm down as he examined his molecularly edged claws. The main enemy was at the gates, he should go meet them.
...
Cassius' Heart pounded as he took shallow breaths, Go'mon's backplate inches from his own chest as he held onto the Hammer and Pistol for dear life. As the general strutted outside, Cassius moved in perfect synchronization, his left leg rising with the general's before being placed down in sync. He'd been practicing for weeks with the security droids at the mansion, practicing to keep inches from their backs without touching their metal carapace. Now he strutted behind perhaps the second most powerful being he knew like a silent specter. As Go'mon slammed through a door, breaking it into splinters, Cassius lifted his right leg and rotated out of the way just as Go'mon's tail would've brushed against his Calf, giving him away. As the General strutted out into the middle of the courtyard, Cassius used the various straps attached to his gambeson to affix the weapons to his waist before grabbing his Kama and weighted chain from a small pouch at his belt.
Cassius tossed the weighted end of the chain over the wall of the castle after a short run-up, wrapping the gossamer chain around his hands with each rapid step he took up the wall. Reaching the top, he unhooked the weight from the small bar he'd tossed it around quickly disentangling his hands from the chain. He groped the air on the outside of the wall until he touched the enchanted ladder the Top-Hats had left him. Sliding down the ladder, he spotted Drake sitting astride Barney in the middle of the street. The rest were nowhere to be seen but that indeed was part of the plan. Sprinting over, Cassius leaped onto Barney behind Drake and slipped Go'mon's revolver into the empty holster at his belt. Drawing out no reaction save for a few words from Drake, who didn't turn his head lest he give the gambit away.
"Good work Cassius, Fall back and get a gas mask on. We still don't know what's in those canisters because they inked out the labels."
Cassius slipped off of Barney's back and slipped into a nearby building before De-cloaking as he pressed himself against the wall next to a Warmonger who passed him a spare gas mask. He pulled it on and checked the seal before sitting against the wall as his legs jellied beneath him. His mouth was dryer than the scrubland as he accepted a Volunteer's canteen, drinking heavily through a port in the mask as he rode out the adrenaline crash. He glanced over to where their fighters had pried open a sewer access hatch and were dropping in, the smell of sewage souring the air. A few warmongers closest to the opening had comically attached wooden clothesline clips to their noses.
...
Caz lay atop the second-tallest building in Golgatha, trash and debris piled up around her for camouflage ash she drew a bead on the strutting Go'mon. Her god-given eyes were able to see the purple miasma that rose from him like mercury vapors. She didn't even turn her head as she softly asked.
"Distance?"
The man with Heavy cybernetic augmentations pulled casually from a large pouch of grain alcohol, camera-lense eyes extending from his face as he chewed on a bullet thoughtfully. Slowly he stated.
"One thousand five hundred and sixty-seven meters, If you're keeping it under auto-ignition velocity, you should be able to hold it one mil above and..."
The sound of the bullet in his mouth getting chewed filled the air before he stated.
"Two mils right, wind fluctuates between us and the target, expect a half minute of angle deviation."
Caz adjusted her optic, bringing the point of aim directly onto her crosshairs. The man next to her had called himself "an Olympian" an old sect of bionically enhanced warriors from even before the betrayal wars. In the small amount of time she'd gotten to know the man, she'd found him palatable at the very least, soft-spoken with a touch of crazy, it was refreshing. She tried to ignore the artillery-sized rifle he laid behind, the barrel itself bigger around than a drainage pipe, a suppressor of equally massive size almost protruding over the edge of the building. She watched from the corner of his eye as he pulled the breech open to the side and selected a shell thicker and longer than her forearm with a fused tip. He rammed it into the gun with the same ease she loaded her flechettes with.
They both had different jobs despite sitting on the same roof. She'd take care of anything on two legs, and he'd handle anything that had an armored skin. From her vantage point, she watched as the Agri-bots moved into position, planting their artillery pieces against the ground in preparation to fire. They weren't using High explosives much to Remin and Destrier's chagrin, but with their attack plan, they couldn't risk collapsing the sewers. They were instead armed with a chemical weapon known as "CS Smoke" which would obscure visual sightlines for anyone with unaugmented vision. Lucky for her and the Olympian, that wouldn't be an issue with her clear-sight and his advanced optics. She slowly swiveled her focus onto Drake, keeping the center of the crosshair off him as she watched him.
Sitting astride Barney, Drake looked every bit the warrior he was. His dark helmet and armor were almost lost in the dark night. But the red shock of his Helm's mohawk could not be mistaken, glowing brightly against the darkness. As his palm came to rest on the pommel of his sword, she saw something entirely different for a moment.
A warrior in battered, rusty armor, the flesh falling from his bones as a pair of white lights gleamed behind the helmet. A skeletal hand held a rusty sword in its sheath, Its pale, emaciated steed's head hanging low, milky eyes soulless and empty.
But as soon as she saw it, the image faded and she swiveled her crosshairs onto the castle's inner courtyard. A small, dim red light blinked on the side of the Olympian's skull as the Geknosians organized into fighting lines. Hulking Geknosians in overbuilt power armor manned emplaced turrets and the looming Gas generators. A small feed from the Olympian's perspective overlaid itself on her scope before minimizing to one corner. She watched as his crosshair fell onto one of the two Gallicks. The horseshoe-shaped APCs presenting their bulk to the gate as a bulwark. Caz switched her aim to a heavily armored Geknosian, slowly dialing the small wheel on the forend of her rifle to half-power, just under auto-ignition velocity. The geknosian seemed to get uncomfortable as her crosshairs landed on his chest, fidgeting at the controls of their AA plasma Beam-cannon.
The moment the Agri-bots fired their artillery, she'd remove him from the gene pool and take that AA gun out of the fight so Destrier could get into position.
...
Destrier and Remin ran last-minute checks on the small fleet of two-wheeled land vehicles the Top Hats had called "Dirt bikes." The variable electric powerplant produced little to no noise, even now, powered on and ready to roll they didn't even humm. Stepping back, Destrier let the forearms of his power armor clamshell close as he retook the hand controls. Contrary to popular belief, the hands of power armor weren't at all like gloves. A handle with a pressure sensor for each finger was clasped in his hands, allowing him to manipulate the hands of the armor like his own. Destrier turned his head, helmet whirring on its bearing as he watched Remin mount one of the Dirtbikes, the black scimitar strapped to the suspension of the bike within arm's reach. The old man's Mongolian lamellar draped over either side of the bike like fabric, small metal plates clinking and clattering softly as he pulled his fabric-wrapped helmet back on. Destrier clomped over, hardly noticing the backpack with over two hundred rounds of 13x110 mm HEP.
Remin looked up with a grin and met Destrier's arm halfway in a forearm-gripping handshake, their metal hands clanking together as they slid their arms back into a grip around the base of each other's thumbs, then to a normal handshake before waggling their fingers at each other.
Destrier chuckled softly and looked up at the sky, night vision lenses making it appear stuffed to bursting with stars.
"What's on the black samurai's mind?"
Remin asked softly, head tilted back to also look at the stars between the rooftops.
"Well... I'm looking forward to the fighting to finally being over... Maybe I'll finally be able to settle down and invent something with Martha..."
Remin chuckled softly.
"A noble goal... I'd expect nothing less from you Destri... I'm actually hoping to catch a ride back to human-controlled space. I'm too old for this shit, I want to settle down and live out the last years of my life in peace..."
Destrier nodded in agreement, slowly turning his gaze back to the helicopter, blades slowly turning in preparation for takeoff.
"How old are you Remin? I don't think I ever asked."
The old man paused, thinking for a long time.
"Oh... I'd say I've made it past a century at this point. Got a cybernetic heart when I was a kid thanks to a car accident, Ol' things been keeping me going far past when I shoulda dropped."
Destrier nods and laughs softly.
"Damn, and I thought you were only in your fifties."
Remin laughed in agreeance, setting his hands on the handlebars.
"I don't blame ya, I feel like it. Especially now that my legs aren't filled with creaky arthritis."
Destrier sighed softly, gently punching the old man's shoulder as softly as he could in his power armor.
"See you on the other side old man... whether that be the living side or the dead one."
"Here's to hoping it's the former not the latter."
Destrier chuckled his agreement and boarded the helicopter, making the landing gear compress slightly as he put his weight on the flight deck. Unhooking the feed chain from the side of the backpack, he clipped it into the Ma-deuce's feed chute. It whirred as the heavy cartridges were funneled down the chain and into the gun with a click and a clatter.
...
Barney shifted from one leg to the other beneath Drake, Death's chosen reaching down and gently patting his neck fondly as he softly whispered.
"Just a moment longer boy... There's someone I need to talk to."
Drake closed his eyes, letting the Darkness envelop him for a moment before opening them again.
He looked at Death, who was casually swirling a glass of black bourbon thoughtfully.
"You said you wanted to talk to me right before the battle?"
Death nodded and slid the glass of black bourbon his way.
"I did, I want you to drink this before you go into battle."
Drake picked up the glass, inspecting the pitch-black, inky liquid curiously. Before sniffing it and coughing as his eyes water.
"No offense, But I think something died in your liquor bottle."
Death laughed jovially, pouring his own glass from a red crystal decanter.
"That's because this is made from the blood of my predecessor. I thought i might as well get it out of the way."
Drake suspiciously looked at the glass.
"Okay, what happens when I drink it?"
Death paused, slowly swirling his own glass of black bourbon pensively. Then, he slowly knocked his own back, eyes dilating wide before returning to normal.
"Well, It should allow you to control your power, bypassing the decades of training most need."
Drake gave Death a side eye, sniffing the foul drink one more time asking.
"What's the catch?"
Death frowned, then set his glass down.
"Considering that it's going to completely restructure your magical and circulatory pathways. It's going to hurt like nothing you've ever felt before. It also may or may not bind your guardians to your soul."
Drake's head snapped up.
"Guardians... you mean my parents?"
Death nodded softly.
"Guardians, souls that loved someone so much that they remained on after death to watch over them. Your parents loved you... loved you enough to stand by your side even in death... and before you give me some bullshit about this not being what your parents would want... Remember, they'll always be at your side until you die one way or another."
Drake slowly swirled the bourbon before nodding softly, bringing it to his lips, he downed it in a single gulp. It burned on its way down, the tingling feeling intensely spreading throughout his body and to his fingertips in a moment. His nerves burned, and his very being felt as though it was being scalded by burning hot water. But as he set the glass down on Death's desk, he smiled softly. There was a warmth to the pain, like a cold rag against a feverish forehead. The sting of a garlic poultice applied to a fresh whip-wound. It was the crack of his father's wooden sword against his knuckles during their sparring, the sweat that would drip into his eyes on long evenings working the fields. Drake opened his eyes slowly, no longer sitting in Death's office, but his own soulscape, looking at the long-neglected buildings halfway through construction. But he wasn't alone.
Drake smiled at his mother and father. His mother gave him a soft smile as she touched the scar across his face, the wound in his cheek where a gauss slug had torn it open, then, she took his hand to gently touch the scarred wound where Garravan's knife had pierced his hand. His father just sat cross-legged, drinking a stout mug of scrub tree tea with a proud smile on his face. drake looked between them before holding out his hands.
As his parents took them, they dissolved into motes of light that drifted into his chest. His veins burned, and his eyes and nose bled. His entire existence felt like a blistering inferno as the ground of his soulscape rumbled, small, red flowers the color of blood and the shape of gunshot wounds popping up from the ground. But even as the pain grew, and grew, and grew, He found himself simply laughing, grabbing what felt like an invisible pair of chains and pulling up on them as he stood.
The ground erupted in the middle of his soulscape, a massive, gnarled oak tree sprouting from the ground. Its sturdy trunk protecting a small patch of pink carnations interspersed with curly-petaled white Gardenias. Drake felt something form atop his head and reached up, feeling a thorny crown, he gently pulled it off, looking at the black-petaled roses fondly before returning it to his head. The thorny veins grew down from the crown, snaking their way deep into his flesh only to bloom into what felt like new muscles and tendons that weren't attached to his physical strength. Looking at his upturned palms, he curled his fingers, a steady, smokeless pale flame popping into existence in his palm with next to no effort.
As the pain subsided, Drake closed his eyes, relishing its departure before opening them to the shocked and concerned face of Death. Drake gave him a curious look and Death coughed softly as he composed himself before speaking.
"Look, I know I can hide pain well... But that smile you get when you're hurting is capital C Creepy."
Drake touched his grinning face with a soft laugh, wiping a trickle of blood from his nose.
"Well, guess I can add that to my achievements list, Creeping Death out with a smile."
They both chuckled softly at the joke before Death sighed softly.
"You should get back to them, they're almost ready."
Drake nodded and stood, stepping over to the door.
"Wish me luck."
"Good luck, my Champion. Give them hell."
Drake smiled softly and stepped out the door. When he opened his eyes, he was back in the real world, staring up at Go'mon who'd perched himself atop the castle wall, eyeing Drake hungrily.
Giving Go'mon his signature grin, He reached up and depressed a countersunk button on the side of his helmet.
"Hit 'em"
Drake stated, the sound of artillery rocking the city as Go'mon's hungry look quickly turned to rage. There was a loud, screeching whistle as the artillery shells streaked in, blanketing the area in stinging fog. Drake drew his sword, extending thorned vines of power into it as the blade ignited with pale flames. Barney snuffled excitedly and roared as Drake nudged him forward, the Dinosaur leaping over the wall in a single bound. The final battle for Golgatha had begun, after this, they would either be free...
Or they will have died free.
......
Part 112: will be linked here upon completion.