Sisters getting married quotes

What’s up guys, I am having trouble understanding why my door is acting up the way it is and I’m hoping someone might be able to explain to me how to solve or at least troubleshoot my issue. This is for an 08 Nissan Titan LE and it’s the passenger side door.
I recently have been having problems with my door not being able to open from the outside or inside and after I changed both the door handle and a got a new door lock actuator I still am dealing with the same problem.
Expect I’ve noticed that the door will open both inside and out as long as I don’t lock the door. Once the door is locked and then unlocked the door cannot be opened inside or out. I am essentially forced to pull the cable for the outside door handle in order to get the door open again.
Can someone explain to me what might be the problem and how can I solve it? I really don’t want to take this into a mechanic, I’ve had multiple quotes with nothing cheaper than $750 dollars for the door lock swap out.
Thanks in advance for any help you guys can give me!! ✌️

I (28m) used to be best friends with this girl, “S” (29f) from grade 2 until I was 22 years old (that was when we last saw each other). Her parents ran a Korean restaurant, and I have so many fond memories of eating there with her. S and I were close enough that when we were really young, we promised to marry each other when we got older lol. It was that kind of relationship.
Starting from when I was in high school, until around my second year of college, I became a bit of a creep. I knew that it was wrong to touch girls without their consent, but I just thought it was “mildly” wrong, rather than being a genuine, disturbing violation. I didn’t think it was wrong to ogle girls, I thought I was being “funny” when I said sexual things to them, etc etc. I don’t know how, but I just happened to fly under the radar; between the ages of 14-18, when I was REALLY acting out, I still don’t remember getting any warnings or getting into trouble from my authority figures and teachers. And unfortunately, I took out some of my perversions on S during this time. I leered at her a lot and made a lot of sexual comments about her. One time, when I was in my freshman year of college, I groped her breasts; this was the only time I laid my hands on her. It's important to note, however, that I didn't act out on her nearly as much as I did to other girls, because I thought she was too dear to me to treat her that way on a regular basis. The last communication she had with me was 6 years ago, when she asked me via Facebook “yo…are you okay?” I didn’t respond to that message.
I grew up A LOT ever since I went to college. With all that being said, I admit that I am still sexually attracted to S, and I look up her Facebook photos frequently (not that it really hurts her; what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her). I miss her so much, and I still remember that silly childhood marriage promise that we made with each other. She never posts anything angsty on her Facebook or social media, which I’m hoping means that she’s not as traumatized as I fear she is. If I reach out to her and ask her out for some coffee, would that be a good idea?

TN. Child Support order active for years, $20,000+ in arrears. He avoids getting served so has been avoiding contempt charges and wasting Mom's time.
Mom has full custody, was never married to him. He hasn't made any payment nor attempt to contact in over 2 years. No visitation is set. He works construction and is paid on 1099 (he does not pay his taxes so one day IRS will likely go after him). He is now "working out of town" consistently.
Mom had considered paying an attorney and then a private process server to get him served. Though now that he is working in another state (presumably FL) she isn't sure how to approach.
Can Child Support be enforced across state lines? Would a private investigator be required to track him down? Any other advice?
Mom is planning to discuss with an attorney but is concerned that it will cost her a lot of money when Father is so avoiding (is it even worth it to pursue?).

What’s up guys, I am having trouble understanding why my door is acting up the way it is and I’m hoping someone might be able to explain to me how to solve or at least troubleshoot my issue. This is for an 08 Nissan Titan LE and it’s the passenger side door.
I recently have been having problems with my door not being able to open from the outside or inside and after I changed both the door handle and a got a new door lock actuator I still am dealing with the same problem.
Expect I’ve noticed that the door will open both inside and out as long as I don’t lock the door. Once the door is locked and then unlocked the door cannot be opened inside or out. I am essentially forced to pull the cable for the outside door handle in order to get the door open again.
Can someone explain to me what might be the problem and how can I solve it? I really don’t want to take this into a mechanic, I’ve had multiple quotes with nothing cheaper than $750 dollars for the door lock swap out.
Thanks in advance for any help you guys can give me!! ✌️

What’s up guys, I am having trouble understanding why my door is acting up the way it is and I’m hoping someone might be able to explain to me how to solve or at least troubleshoot my issue. This is for an 08 Nissan Titan LE and it’s the passenger side door.
I recently have been having problems with my door not being able to open from the outside or inside and after I changed both the door handle and a got a new door lock actuator I still am dealing with the same problem.
Expect I’ve noticed that the door will open both inside and out as long as I don’t lock the door. Once the door is locked and then unlocked the door cannot be opened inside or out. I am essentially forced to pull the cable for the outside door handle in order to get the door open again.
Can someone explain to me what might be the problem and how can I solve it? I really don’t want to take this into a mechanic, I’ve had multiple quotes with nothing cheaper than $750 dollars for the door lock swap out.
Thanks in advance for any help you guys can give me!! ✌️

The whole quote about "pressure making diamond" is a bit of a hyperbole. Yeah, I get it that some people do manage to thrive under difficult situations, but why to foist it over everyone. I am a bloody human being not some psychological test case. I think it's one of the ways by which the society sort of glorifies the abyssmal working and living conditions that a large portion of people go through. May be I don't want that shiny trophy at the end of the hard labor, I want my days to be lived in less stress and a basic level of comfort where I have time to stop and look at simple nice things around me. While I understand and appreciate people going through absolute rigor for things like an Olympic medal or some sort of a new invention, but these days why are we expected to hustle even for the basic material comforts and societal acceptance.

Tldr: How do I emotionally move on from my relationship with my husband without actually getting divorced? He doesn't love me anymore but divorce is not possible.
I (36F) and my husband (46M) have been together almost 14 years, married for almost 10. We have 2 children, daughter (3F) and baby(2weeksM). I'm currently about 2 weeks postpartum.
To sum up our issues: He has a mental illness that he says makes it basically impossible for him to enjoy life (that's his lived experience, I know things are different for others). I want him to be more interested in our relationship, i.e. hanging out, activities together, more sex, etc, but for years and years I've communicated this and nothing has improved. Last year he told me he has no romantic feelings for me anymore, but later told me it was said during a mental health crisis and he didn't really mean it.
During my recent pregnancy he started telling me that he never actually wanted kids, he didn't want to be a parent, and he wants to go live by himself. He swears he will not actually leave - he just doesn't want the responsibility of parenting, he wants to engage in his hobbies and not be bothered. At the time of trying to get pregnant my husband said he did want kids, my pregnancies were not accidents. He now says he resents me for having kids.
I just had our second baby and almost immediately postpartum I developed a life threatening complication that landed me in the hospital for 5 additional days. It was terrifying and I actually almost died. My husband spent my hospital stay broadcasting his annoyance with being there, sleeping, making me repeatedly ask and beg for assistance with baby, and finally yelling at me when I communicated how neglected I was feeling.
The way he treated me in hospital is the final straw. I wouldn't treat someone I barely even liked the way he treated me. My husband didn't even hug or kiss me, rub my back, no physical affection. I kept asking him to come sit with me and he wouldn't even do that, he stayed in the far corner of the room 90% of the time.
My husband acts like he does not love me and I'm convinced he doesn't. Love is something you do, and he doesn't do it for me.
Now here's where I need advice. We cannot get divorced. Neither of us could afford our home without the second income. Our property is too important for me to sell (being vague to protect my privacy) due to income reasons. It would harm both of us and our children, really badly, if we split up the household. It's not an option. Our house is small but feasibly we can sleep separately and usually do anyway.
How do I emotionally separate myself from my husband? I need to stop wanting his scraps of affection and attention, stop hoping he'll change. He isn't abusive, just neglectful, so I don't need to get divorced. How do I mentally and emotionally move on from my marriage without physically/legally ending it? I want to feel only lukewarm towards him, one co parent to another. Roommates.

I'm 25 now, and for the last 2 years since I've been out of college, I worked non-stop. And I don't mean that in a healthy "get that bread" way. My first job started fine, honestly I was making triple what I did at my dead end jobs before/during college. But as time went on, I realized just what I'd signed up for. I was a one man department, working 13-14 hour days, 7 days a week. At some point during that time, probably about 4 months in, I just shut off. My mind, emotions, independent thoughts. This stayed for a long time. I feel it stunted my growth. Not to say it was all bad. I got married during my time there. Eventually, the only person I talked to in the office outside of work, passed away. Being the position I was (marketing and content creation) I was told to film my co-workers grieving for content, during a ceremony they had put together for him. Everyone was crying. Myself included. When I was told to do this, I refused. The following days i was chewed out by my boss, eventually being told I had 2 hours to save my job. I had to "make him smile" with something I had to make. I went into the half of our office that was under construction, nearly fell from some high as hell scaffolding while filming (only to find out a month after I left that the same scaffolding had collapsed a few weeks later and forced an older contractor into retirement due to his injuries) rushed back and made the most god awful video I've made in my life. All within 2 hours. My boss got in my face, told me it was awful, told me if I wanted to keep the job I had to step up... I quit the next day. Walked in, had all my personal equipment packed by noon, and left without saying a word to anyone. A few weeks later, I found a new job, same position. At first it was going well. I enjoyed it. But yet again, after just a few months, My capabilities were taken advantage of. I don't like to brag, but I do feel like im good at what I do, and I'm proud of that fact. But that second job tried to milk me dry, and I let it happen. I was there for about 10 months and every day was worse than the last. Quickly building back up to 13-14 hour days, 7 days a week. Leading up to the most impossible task I've ever faced. I was asked to make 13 weeks (1 quarter) of content, with 1-3 posts a day. I was asked to do this the Thursday before Christmas.... with a deadline of the End of the week, New Years week. It added up to about 6 working days total. I have never worked so hard in my life. I was awake for 4 days, my only breaks being my drive to and from the office, and working on my personal computer when I got home. I was so tired and stressed I was physically and visibly ill. Once that 6th day came, I presented it to them and they got mad that all the captions weren't written. They said if I didn't have them done by the next day, they "wouldn't be able to fund the department anymore" (I was yet again, a department of 1). I walked out of that office, sat at my desk, and applied for another job. Of which, I got. It took 1 month and 3 interviews, because it was a seriously higher end job than the small businesses I'd been working for. When I got the offer letter, I cried harder than I've cried in a long time. But I went in wary. It was a team of 3 (4 now with me) which was something I wasn't used to. At this job, I found the opposite of everything I'd previously experienced. I anxiously tried to stay late at work, offered to work after hours at home, offered to come in on weekends. If you think of anything over the top and unnecessary, I tried it. But I was constantly shut down. Told that my home time was mine and I didn't owe them that. This wasn't just some employee who told me this either, this was told to me by the department manager, and the project manager across many instances. I didn't know what to do with myself when I got home in the afternoons, or the weekends. I started unraveling from a tight wad of anxiety and emotional numbness. I genuinely started to feel again. One day, about 3 weeks in, I started a show with my wife. I won't say the show, because it'd be super nerdy in my opinion. But it's well renowned as an emotional show that can break you lol. I'd thought about watching it in college, years before, but my best friend had just told me about his practice of "rainy day shows". Shows to watch when you were at your wits end and the snap of a finger from just closing your eyes and not opening them.... if you catch my drift... I didn't feel this was the time for this show, but I decided to watch it anyways, because I have other shows on my list, and knocking one off when you're feeling good, right...? This show broke me. It forced me to unravel from what I'd become far faster than I should have. I cried for days. My mind racing a million miles an hour, not sleeping for a few days because I was just thinking and thinking and on and on... I was seeing the life I'd unconsciously built around me... and I hated it.... I live in a shit house that's falling apart, it's an absolute disaster in terms of just general cleanliness, my finances were shot, my wife was depressed, unable to sleep herself just from life in general, escaping to an app on her phone for 13+ hours a day (I know this because the app has an insane 13 hour window a day where you can use it for free, with no interruption, once you get passed that they put an insane amount of roadblocks in front of you to keep using it unless you pay. My wife was hitting this daily), we had become extremely distant and basically just being roommates.With all of this in view now, and my emotions running wild and my brain going twice as fast. It's been almost 3 months since all this started. I'm greatful to my new job for allowing me the opportunity to confront all of this. But Jesus, it's like the more and more I work towards bettering it, the more I feel I'm drowning, sad and depressed. I struggle every afternoon to just stay alive. My house is cleaner than it ever has been, I'm steadily making repairs and trying to make it a good place to live, I have regular deep conversations with my wife about progress and how we feel, I try to do everything humanly possible to make her feel loved, being a hopeless romantic. I feel guilty for saying all of that though, because I feel there's always more I could do. And while I grow and try, I don't feel it's reciprocated, and she'd be fine where we were 6 months ago. I'm tired. I'm exhausted. But I know I can't stop trying to be a little better every day. Even if I just get sadder and sadder, it will eventually clear up. But it won't if I stop.

I need help, quickly. For context, my ex husband had an affair when I was pregnant with our first child so I left.
We own a home that is currently being sold, the deposit for which I solely contributed. My mother died and left money for myself and sisters. My inheritance and some of my sisters was used to buy the house. We, at the time, verbally agreed to set up a standing order to pay back my sister. The affair happened a year after the house and she never received anything so upon house sale she will get her money back.
So, I left the home and he lived there for over a year. 7 months of that, I had to pay half the mortgage as well as rent for the new home me and my son lived in. He only paid cms.
I got the majority of furniture from the home, as over the course of the relationship, I solely bought it. (He was very financially coercive).
He has a very good pension, I do not. We were together 8 years, married 3.
Whilst on maternity leave, he allowed and expected me to use credit cards to pay my half of bills and didn't provide anything until our child was 6 months old and I got cms in place. We lived in the same home, he ate 3 full meals while i had pancakes for most of mine as it was all I could afford, my breastmilk depleated and I had to return to work full time when my son was 6 weeks old. So I got considerable debt.
He is expecting 50/50 of the equity from the house sale. There is approx 20k equity. Myself and sister account for about 14k minimum that we put into the deposit. With paying my sister back, I would be essentially left with nothing if the 50/50 equity went ahead. He would be able to buy a new home whereas me and my child would have to continue to rent.
He has a fancy solicitor, I can't afford one. He paid for the divorce, putting in a sole application even though I thought we were doing a joint application.
I have a new partner and another child, I work part time.
We are due to go to a mediator soon, I can't afford court fees. Can he take 50/50?
What am I entitled to?

Hi, 26F here and my husband is 26M. No kids. Trigger warning for details of verbal/threats of physical abuse. We've been married since we were 22. I'm posting partly because I feel like I need solidarity/confirmation that it's as bad as it feels.
I've been reading online about abuse and I see a lot of posts about frequent, repetitive instances of abuse. My situation isn't quite like that, but rather he has now had two instances of "blowing up" where he "gets pushed over the edge" (his words, definitely reversing the blame there) and will go on for hours where he's yelling at me, calling me names, and generally demeaning and insulting me personally. It's pretty traumatic and I basically just disassociate and wait for him to be done. I never name call or yell back.
The first time it happened, it was in response to something I did. Basically I shared some details about our relationship with a friend, and he found out. He had asked me before to keep our business between him and I, so he felt very disrespected. I did later apologize for this, I can understand that not everyone needs to know our details and I am okay with respecting this ask, I just slipped up. This disrespect sent him over the edge and he spent somewhere from 1-2 hours straight yelling at me, repeatedly calling me a stupid b*tch and c*nt, and he went through in detail all the things he hates about my personality- insulting my hobbies and interests and so on. Just all around attacks on me and my character. While it was happening I had it fixed in my mind to leave, because obviously he didn't like me very much anymore and also name-calling was something I had previously set as a hard boundary. However, after things calmed down of course it's hard to walk away. He eventually apologized, reflected on his behavior and said it wouldn't happen again.
The second time it happened it was about 6 months later. This time I didn't do anything wrong per se. I had a moment of jealousy: I thought he was getting a little too friendly/flirty with another girl at the bar, and I told him my feelings were hurt about it. He denied and denied and denied, and eventually left me at the bar. I was pissed at being abandoned, and I walked home alone, and when I got home I tried to explain to him why it was so hurtful to me. At some point again something in him snapped. He let himself call me a b*tch and from there it just spirals, calling me every name possible, he tells me to go f*ck somebody new, "leave me I don't even care," and worst of all he repeatedly threatened s*ic*de. It was horrible. Again this lasted for over an hour. Oh and also this time he punched a countertop, a door, and I had been packing for a trip and he threw my open suitcase across the room and threw my clothes across the room. At one point I also got in his way and he did make physical contact with me- I don't think he was trying to hit me but ya know does it really matter lol. Also we have pets and he had no regard for what happened to them in this moment. After he fell asleep I had the pets all packed up and everything to get the heck out of there, but the threats of harm and the fear of being alone and confronting the situation stopped me. I stayed.
A few hours after that he came to me and instead of apologizing he said "there's no justification for my actions but also I wouldn't have done it if I wasn't pushed to my very breaking point" right right
Then a few days later he finally texted me and said "there's no excuse or justification for my actions. can you help me find a therapist?" I want to believe he is serious about changing but there's just so much negative stuff that I feel myself just sort of checking out.
Outside of the outright abuse, the pattern in our relationship recently is that whenever I have an issue and try to bring it up, he denies, and then attacks me in some way by saying I'm too sensitive, and then will use that as a chance to go on long monologues about all the problems I cause in the relationship and the problems I have. I've voiced this to him but he keeps doing it. So I also feel like my issues don't matter and that I'm expected to just sit pretty and be happy.
It's sort of like, though, that I see the "abuse" version of him as somebody else, not his true self, and I just let myself forget it and keep going and hope it doesn't happen again. He was abused and has other issues, and I really do just feel bad for him. Because I can see him become embarrassed with the way he acts and I can't imagine feeling that level of shame/remorse. I don't want my guy to feel that way so I tell myself if I love him through it then he doesn't have to feel that way. IDK and when I think about leaving I can't help but think about pissing off his family. I'm SO scared of what people will think of me. Can I be happy in this situation again? Can he love me and also treat me like this? Does it matter that it's only happened 2 times? I know nobody can answer these questions for me but any insight is appreciated.

So, I’m on my first play through and I’m nearly finished with year one..
I feel like I’ve essentially ran out of ‘things to aspire to’
Investor dude is visiting, just patched up the greeno pipes, but I am married, I’ve upgraded every tool fully, I’ve got enough materials together to basically insta-complete any requests I want, just upgraded my house, got a big field, pretty much everyone in the town is my friend, I haven’t even unlocked the mole mine place yet, but beyond what I’m sure is story reasons I’ll need those materials and stuff but there’s not a lot I can see to aspire to for my workshop itself. I’ve basically maxed out all the talents/perks I was interested in too, aside from the social ones.. but I’m nearly best friends with everyone without a lot of that.
Did I just push too hard and overachieved my way into boredom or is there just a slope where the fun dies down later in the game?
Before it was like I wanted to spend every bit of stamina but now I just feel like I want to keep going to sleep just to get something more challenging from a story quest or something.

I need some objective tips. My parents are in their 70s; I'm 44 and married with 1 teen child.
My husband and I have good jobs, and live in a nice yet modest home. We've chosen to stay in the area I grew up to stay closer to my parents due to their various medical challenges we've supported them through.
However the more they age, the more sedentary, judgmental and hypocritical they get... about everything: how people today parent, technology, music, kids, different cultures, people from other states, people who are successful, people with money, people with white collar jobs, people who drink Starbucks, people born after the 50s, people who don't do things exactly like them, etc.
It makes me think...do they hate/dislike me?
They are becoming increasingly cynical and critical about any generation but their own, and have some kind of (what I can only describe as) a moral superiority complex. It drives me nuts because my sister and I are Gen X; our kids/their grandkids are Gen Z.
I used to wonder why/how people could move far away from their parents, but now I'm wondering if I've been wasting my life by staying too close. We live about 20 minutes from them. I've never lived more than 30 miles from where I was born.
I especially get resentful about trauma that occurred to me growing up (without them knowing about most of it), because they act like all other parents younger than them are idiots who are raising heathen dummies. Because of some of their choices about who could supervise me etc, and what friends I could visit, I was raped and sexually assaulted more than once. I never told them because I didn't want them to blame themselves. Although they do act like bad things happen to people because of something the person did to cause it. That's another reason I never told them; I thought I did something to deserve/cause it. (My niece has a serious genetic congenital birth defect and they believe it's due to something my sister did while she was pregnant.)
I'm also resentful because I have avoided building friendships so that my free time can focus on family. I don't even know how to go about making friends at this stage of my life. But I could really use some positive relationships. I have amazing coworkers but work fully remote and they're all in other states and countries.
I do love my parents, and I have a good amount of interests in common with them, but all this negativity and judgment from them is really maddening.
On top of it all, I'm the only reason any family gatherings happen because their house isn't even suitable to be living in, let alone having visitors. It has multiple safety hazards and health concerns such as rotting/sagging interior floors, drooping ceilings, excessive mold, and almost a hoarders-level amount of stuff, covered in thick dust.
If I didn't host every holiday and get togethers in between, we wouldn't be seeing one another.
My husband and I both work full time with demanding jobs so it is extra work to host family dinners. I DO enjoy family gatherings though, or used to, a lot. But the conversations are getting more and more negative. AND they can't hardly stay off Facebook when they are visiting at our house. They are addicted to it, especially participating in their echo chamber conversations with fellow boomers, putting down everyone else in the world.
I don't remember my grandparents being this negative but maybe I didn't hear it all.
Any tips or advice if anyone read this far?? I don't want to abandon my parents, but need some kind of better balance. Can anyone relate?

Posted a job on facebook for tv wall mounting and wire concealing and got some cheap quote from one of the electrician. He seems to be an experienced DIYer and holds some good reviews on facebook. One of my friend told me that creating a new electrical point through a DIYer can void insurance if it causes short circuit and fire takes place. Is that true? Is it like getting it done through a licensed electrician a paying atleast $200 bucks is the only option? This is in Ontario, Canada if that makes a difference.

Caregiving and everything that entails (the stress, worry, constant heaviness in my soul, impact on social life, relationships, being judged, forgotten, feeling like life was slipping away from me, etc) had gotten so intense for me that it was making me feel suicidal. After I ‘snapped’ and attempted, I got on anti depression medications. It has been years since I was in that really dark spot but I do feel like the medication helps me continue staying somewhat sane. I never had a need to be on depression medication until I become a caregiver and felt my life being affected in every single aspect. I have been caregiving for my sister since 2019. is anyone else utilizing mood medication to help get through life as a caregiver? I am not completely devoid of days where I am overwhelmed, stress, worried about the outcome of my future, scared my sister will die but it does help that I’m not experiencing those aspects 100% of the time.

No I’m not cheap but that’s not what I’m here for so … I’ve been married to an illegal immigrate for 7 years. We had a good run but I just can’t do it anymore. Although we are literally in the middle of getting her green card that we paid 7grand for. No Im not going to break her heart and waste all the money we spent on the legal fees so I can get a quick divorce. She deserves to be a citizen. Basically my question is.. is there something I can have her sign saying that she will never go after me for half of what I have? I don’t foresee her being that kind of woman but I’ve been wrong in the past. O yeah and I know this isn’t the thread for immigration but does anyone know how long I have to wait after she gets her green card? Any tips or advice would be awesome.

AITA: Family
My husband has been away from home for almost 2 weeks working in the city he is from (6hrs away).
He has 7 siblings (all over 50 so we aren’t taking young families). When he called his family a month ago to say that he was coming into town and would like to see everybody his family members all offered to have him stay with them and told him it would be silly to get a hotel. Therefore, we didn’t book a hotel.
He planned to do a rotation of about two nights at a few sibling’s homes.
My husband is a recovering alcoholic and they are all well aware of that. He has had some serious health concerns due to his previous drinking so it is crucial that he remains sober. He has been attending AA while out of town and doing well. It is literally life and death for him.
He arrived on a Thursday and on Friday night the sister that he was staying with planned to get together barbecue at her home. Everyone was drinking to the point of drunkenness and it made my husband uncomfortable so he went up to bed after a few hours. He did not expect them to not drink in front of him but enough is enough after a while.
After that, his family decided that that was so incredibly rude of him and said that they wouldn’t be changing their lifestyle to accommodate him. After he finished two nights at that sister‘s home (morning after the bbq) all of the other family members said that they didn’t feel comfortable with him staying with them. We’ve spent about $3000 in hotel rooms thus far.
My husband owns his own business so it is not like he can apply for corporate lodging reimbursement.
ONE sister called (who was out of town at the time) me at work and when I couldn’t answer texted me I needed to call her ASAP and scared me half to death until my staff meeting was over. Turns out she was mad my husband went to bed after a few hours (like 9pm) even though she was not there to even witness it.
Once I returned her call and realized that it was not an emergency. My blood began to boil. I told her how rude and inconsiderate. Their family wants to sit around and drink bottles and bottles of wine at an event that was supposed to be celebrating a visit from their brother who lives out of town and only visits once or twice per year.
I also said that it was a really asshole move for everyone to say that he made them uncomfortable and they no longer wanted him to stay at their house. I said I’m sorry that my husband sobriety cramps everyone’s wine drinking, beer chugging style.
Having been a part of this family for a number of years I know that every event in the family involves drinking to the point of drunkenness, this was not just a once in a while, Friday night barbecue kind of a thing.
Needless to say they think IATA for calling out their ridiculous behavior toward their own brother. Prior to this trip nothing was wrong and he talked to each of them about once per week and there is a sibling group text.

So, I dated this girl about 3 years ago, and I was in love. Still haven’t been in love like that since. So, three years ago she went away for a weekend, and when she got back in town she didn’t talk to me for over 24 hours. When she did talk to me, she was cold and distant, and I knew a break up was impending. She broke up with me saying that she needed to work on herself and she wasn’t ready for a serious relationship and what not. A few weeks later my friends are sending me screenshots from a Facebook page of a friend of my exes. Who was on that weekend with her. Long story short, she had cheated. I asked her if that’s what happened and she denied it, and I haven’t talked to her since. So, I recently learn that she is to get married to this guy, in the same place their relationship started, where my ex went on her weekend away. Where she cheated on me, with this guy.
And it’s just hitting really hard. I’ve been crying over this like as if the break up just happened and I was learning the truth of her lies and cheating all over again. The worst part is, I am seeing someone right now and now I’m worried that maybe I wasn’t ready to move on after her. But it’s been 3 years … Anyone else been in a position like this?

Just to put the story short, I have a very good relationship with all my siblings we hangout with each other and that type shit, but just the littlest things they do will just ANNOY me and set me off. I also don’t know if this helps, but I’m on some medication for thyroid and depression so when I’m off my meds say 4 days and my brothers or sister meds with me even the littlest, I start yelling and getting annoyed and feel embarrassed after and regret it later. Like I’ll be listening to music in my room and they come in and start dancing for a few seconds just to mess with me, but my patience gets so bad to the point I get out of the house and have to go for a walk cause how annoyed I get when I’m not on my medication. Wanna live life without getting irritated and grumpy all the time at people, but it’s hard when you hate humans in general. But I do wanna improve my attitude and overall mood cause I now know your mood can change your family’s mood as well. I always feel like a huge piece of shit and wish I wasn’t here when I get this annoyed.

Salam everyone,
I am seeking some guidance. Back in high school, my parents told me that free mixing was haram, so I never really befriended many guys nor did I talk to them outside of school. I attended a Muslim high school where free mixing was normal—of course, not dating or anything, but being friends with the opposite gender was considered normal. So, I didn’t understand the severity of free mixing. My friends were friends with guys, and since we were in the same friend circle, I was “close” with them too.
In the summer after I graduated, I became more religious and began to fear Allah the Almighty. I started learning about Islam and understood why Allah made certain things haram and felt the love of Allah. There weren’t many guys I talked to initially, but Alhamdulillah, I stopped contact with them. It was easier because we mostly ended up going to different universities.
However, there is one exception. There’s this one guy from high school that I haven’t been able to lose contact with. I go to the same university as him. He was someone I looked up to a lot in high school; he was very confident and always worked hard to achieve his dreams. He was known for his morals and ethics, and he was well-loved by teachers and students. Out of all the guys, I was closest to him because we had many common interests. Although we weren’t in the same program, he was the only one of my high school friends who went to the same university as me. Most of our discussions are centered around university, and we both keep our distance. He knows that I became more religious, and so has he.
The issue is that I admire him, and that’s why I haven’t been able to cut contact. I think he admires me too. I know I shouldn’t be talking to men, and I am scared. I am scared of disappointing Allah, especially since He guided me when I was lost. Whenever we message, I always show my friends the conversation, and they tell me I am worrying too much. They say the conversation isn’t flirting or weird in any way and that we both are keeping our distance. They say it just feels like two people talking about school clubs and heavy workloads. Whenever I talk to them about it, they tell me it’s normal. I asked my sister, and she said it’s normal, but I feel like it’s not. It’s not normal to talk to men, especially since it’s an unnecessary conversation. It’s haram to talk to men. I still feel like I shouldn’t continue to talk to him regardless. I am afraid that if I completely lose contact, we might never see each other again, especially since I might be leaving the country after I finish university in three years.
I wish we could just get married or even engaged , but he’s nowhere near financially stable. I make dua at night when I’m troubled, asking for guidance on whether I should stop talking to him or if he is the one for me. But the very next day, something happens that only strengthens my admiration towards him but in the same time my resolution to distance myself even more so as that we not to fall into haram. I don’t know anymore. I don’t want to do anything wrong if he is indeed the one I am meant to be with. I want us to have a relationship that pleases Allah. I wish I could completely cut off contact until we’re both finished with school and ready to meet again and then get married. I don’t know what to do. I am afraid. I don’t want to displease Allah. Is what I am doing bad? What should I do?
I just want to say jazakallah khairan to anyone who is taking the time to read this, reply, and give me advice on the matter. It truly means a lot to me, especially as I feel like I have no one to turn to.

my girlfriend is currently dealing with significant family stress while in Lebenon, particularly with her sister and cousin, whom she describes as toxic. They constantly get on her nerves, and yes, they are indeed very toxic. Recently, her sister was extremely stressed to the point of vomiting, and my girlfriend expressed her frustration about this, questioning the legitimacy of her sister's stress by asking, "Why is she stressed? Like... about what?" in a tone that seemed condescending and dismissive of her sister's feelings.
I tried to be supportive by stating, "Her feelings of stress are valid, and your feelings are also valid." This led to my girlfriend dismissing my comment as pointless and arguing that some feelings are not valid and are wrong. She felt that my suggestion to validate her sister's feelings was dismissive of her own feelings. I explained that understanding her sister's feelings might help her not to be overwhelmed by them, which she took as condescending. She kept pointing out why some feelings are wrong and the idea that "all feelings are valid" is a nonsensical one.
I apologized if my approach made things worse, but she claimed I was being condescending. I said i was only trying to help, and that we should move on, but she seemed visibally upset. She was upset from the onset, really. I said that my approach clearly didn't land well, and that I can see why. I let her know that her feelings of being angry with her family were valid, that I would be too, to which she said I don't need permession to feel angry, I know this".
The conversation escalated, and she became increasingly upset. Eventually, there was a pause because someone walked in, so there was a break for about a minute. She then, gently asked me, Why are you mad? while smiling. I told her that i felt like she was being argumentative and trying to debate me and argue with me while i was just trying to help.
This made her really mad, then, holding back tears, and abruptly, she said she couldn't continue the conversation, ending it by saying she couldn't argue with another person and hanging up. I messaged her afterward, saying she could reach out when ready and to take her time. Now, I’m starting to forget the details and am confused about whether I was in the wrong for trying to persuade her that validating feelings is important. I also feel she owes me an apology, but I doubt she sees it that way, plus, I believe no never expect thing from anyone so.... How should I handle this situation moving forward? Any tips on improving communication to prevent such misunderstandings? What actions should I take if she doesn’t recognize her part in the argument or doesn’t apologize? Thank you for your help.

Hi. This is a throwaway.
I'm not sure what information to include but basically I have a toddler with a man I am not married to but have been living with (even broken up) for a couple years and dated for roughly 4-5 years. I am 25f and he is 34m. We have not been together romantically or sexually for about a year or more but have been living together for both convenience and for our toddler.
However, I am coming to this realization that he is incredibly abusive, physically, emotionally, even financially. I desperatelyneed to leave this man. He is not a danger to our toddler and he is a great dad but a horrible partner. He has other kids that he doesnt have custody of and does not see often at all and it upsets him greatly. Because of this, anytime we fight or i mention leaving him he goes off about how he wont let me take his kid like the other women did and thatll be the biggest mistake i ever make. I dont believe hed actually hurt me but i do see it as a threat and i know hed say anything to make me look bad.
I'm okay with him seeing our child obviously because this is his child, as well, but I'm scared of leaving him and trying to keep full custody of our child. He's not incompetent or anything but I'm not fond of him making decisions for our child or our child staying wih him overnight if he's living with his family.
This is a point where I'm concerned. If we live separately he will move in with his family and he has a family member that is severely mentally disabled. I worry that this borders on seeming ableist but please hear me out. This person is a man in his 20s but is at a point mentally where he cannot possibly care for himself. He cannot speak in sentences, only uses 2 word sentences if that, cannot use rhe toilet, etc. I say this not to shame any persom involved but to stress that he literally can never live on his own. He also has some issues with anger where he has attacked his mother physically and bruised her up, all she could do was hold her arms up until he calmed down. He also does not understand personal boundaries and... really likes women. He has actually pulled my pants and grabbed my v*gina before and constantly sneaks into bed with you if you stay over. He is not good at playing with kids because hes still a grown man amd not a child so hes rough and can get tempermental. He also runs away very often, leading them to makeshift their own special way of locking their doors which makes it impossible to exit the home quickly in case of danger as the only key is in one specific spot. This wouldn't be the worst thing except he also has a lengthy history of setting things on fire. He has burned down one of their homes and has set several fires in their current home and other homes as well.
Ik this is long but what I'm trying to stress or say is that I know if we live separately my child's father will fight me and try to take him, he has threatened to call cps on me for painting our childs nails, my family's house being dirty, me being mentally unwell (I miraculously feel great when he's not around), etc. I also know that he will want our child living with him but I do not, under absolutely any circumstances, want my toddler staying the night in that house and I also know that house is where my child's father will be staying when we live separately. Idk if this is making sense or is easy to follow but I hope you all get my point. He will want him, he will be in that house, that house is so unsafe to sleep in, visiting is something entirely different but my toddler will not stay in that house overnight with every adult asleep except for the one person who likes fire a little too much.
I need advice on what I can even do when all of this inevitably happens. I can't say to my child's father he can't stay the night bc of his family member or he and his family will freak out as they are (understandably) very hypersensitive about this family member.
Is there any possible way I can have some kind of legal understanding that my child can't stay there overnight ever but he can obviously stay with his dad when he gets his own place somewhere.
I also was wanting any general advice or knowledge on my rights as a mom in Texas and if him saying I'm "unstable" will make anything much more difficult.

I (28m) used to be best friends with this girl, “S” (29f) from grade 2 until I was 22 years old (that was when we last saw each other). Her parents ran a Korean restaurant, and I have so many fond memories of eating there with her. S and I were close enough that when we were really young, we promised to marry each other when we got older lol. It was that kind of relationship.
Starting from when I was in high school, until around my second year of college, I became a bit of a creep. I knew that it was wrong to touch girls without their consent, but I just thought it was “mildly” wrong, rather than being a genuine, disturbing violation. I didn’t think it was wrong to ogle girls, I thought I was being “funny” when I said sexual things to them, etc etc. I don’t know how, but I just happened to fly under the radar; between the ages of 14-18, when I was REALLY acting out, I still don’t remember getting any warnings or getting into trouble from my authority figures and teachers. And unfortunately, I took out some of my perversions on S during this time. I leered at her a lot and made a lot of sexual comments about her. One time, when I was in my freshman year of college, I groped her breasts; this was the only time I laid my hands on her. It's important to note, however, that I didn't act out on her nearly as much as I did to other girls, because I thought she was too dear to me to treat her that way on a regular basis. The last communication she had with me was 6 years ago, when she asked me via Facebook “yo…are you okay?” I didn’t respond to that message.
I grew up A LOT ever since I went to college. With all that being said, I admit that I am still sexually attracted to S, and I look up her Facebook photos frequently (not that it really hurts her; what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her). I miss her so much, and I still remember that silly childhood marriage promise that we made with each other. She never posts anything angsty on her Facebook or social media, which I’m hoping means that she’s not as traumatized as I fear she is. If I reach out to her and ask her out for some coffee, would that be a good idea?