CONTENT WARNING: SA, suicide, violence, animal abuse 🚫
English is my second language so I apologize for any grammatical errors.
I’m not entirely sure why I’m writing this, maybe it’s a desperate attempt at salvation, a selfish effort to offload my guilt onto these lines and out of my body. Or perhaps it’s because I need confirmation of what a terrible person I am and how I should live the rest of my life accordingly.
For context, I was born into a very dysfunctional family. My parents’ marriage was doomed from the start. My father was a violent alcoholic, and my mother was emotionally fragile, providing motherly care with cold and unfeeling hands. I grew up with domestic violence at home and severe bullying at school. My father was extremely violent and frequently drove under the influence with my siblings and me in the car. He was also often verging on inappropriate behavior towards us.
I was SA’ed for the first time at 13. At 14, after four reports to the local authorities and two suicide attempts, I was finally placed in foster care. I ended up in an institution where I started using drugs, leading to addiction. This resulted in my involvement in very bad environments, leading to another SA at 15 and yet another at 17. My drug use escalated to the point where I began prostituting myself at 15. The authorities gradually gave up on me and my reckless behavior, placing me in my own apartment at 17, which only worsened my addiction.
One night, I took far too many drugs and became extremely ill, vomiting and lying on the ground, unresponsive. My vision blurred, and I temporarily lost my sight and my hearing. Lying there, I thought I was going to die. I had lost all control over my body and senses. It felt surreal, lying there in what I once thought was my immortality. But I made it through the night, and the next morning, everything had changed.
My entire personality seemed to shift. It felt as if something had changed in my brain. I became incredibly aggressive. Despite everything, I had never been aggressive before. I was always calm, a pushover who couldn’t set boundaries. I had never experienced intense anger until that day. I destroyed my entire apartment. The urge to hit things was immense and gave me intense satisfaction, which only intensified when I ran out of drugs, which was often. At this point, I was 17 years old.
I also became extremely paranoid. I had episodes where I would lie on the floor, hyperventilating for hours as the world spun around me. I would hit myself in the head repeatedly, almost wanting to tear my hair out. There was only peace when I got my drugs. Then everything stood still, and nothing hurt anymore. I also started hearing voices and seeing things. Now to the point. I just want to stop here and stop writing.
I found myself in many bad environments, including a friend of mine and his family living on a farm. We all did drugs together. The family had many animals, including dogs. In hindsight, it’s clear they were forcibly breeding dogs to sell them to the highest bidder. One day, while at the farm, high on drugs, the mother placed a puppy in my lap and said I could buy him. She said that It seemed like just what I needed. He was a half-German Shepherd, half-Pitbull mix. I took him home. I was selfish, wanting a puppy, a best friend, a relationship.
I had Chino for four months. I tried to do my best for him. I bought toys, food, and a bed for him. I briefly read online about what to do and what not to do. But I was ultimately completely unprepared for the task. It was the stupidest decision and absolutely terrible conditions for a puppy.
It ended up with me hitting him. It didn't take long before I had one of my blackouts where I became incredibly aggressive. In the four months I had him, I hit him multiple times. If he chewed my debit card, preventing me from getting money for drugs, or if he had an accident indoors—these were all normal situations to face when raising a puppy. He was afraid of me. There was nothing safe for him in that home. Although I cared for him, my version of love was completely twisted. To Chino, I became what my parents were to me.
After having Chino for 1-2 months, I turned 18, resulting in the authorities evicting me from my apartment. The system that had supported me my whole life suddenly didn’t care. It felt like an additional betrayal. I became homeless with Chino. I slept on the streets, feeling utterly lost and alone in the world. I was a broken person who had long since drowned, and I selfishly dragged Chino down with me.
After four months with Chino, I decided I couldn’t care for him the way he deserved. No matter how sick it sounds, I really did love him. I loved him, and I hurt him. I found an animal shelter that took in dogs for a fee. It was a place that provided the right training and ensured they went to the right families. I took him there and saw him for the last time being led into the shelter, distracted by a toy from one of the handlers. I broke down completely but also felt relieved. I called the shelter periodically in the following months to check on him. He had been affected by everything he had been through. He was understimulated and clearly traumatized. But fortunately, they found him a family in the countryside with several large dogs. It was the best news in the world.
Today, I am 26 years old. I am studying at university. I am completely clean and free from all drugs. I live in my own apartment, have a boyfriend, and have no contact with my biological parents. But I am haunted. Chino haunts me, or rather, it is my actions that do. The better I get, the more I can feel and sense, and the more I feel my overwhelming guilt. I think of Chino when I lie in bed at night. When I find myself laughing and actually being happy with my life. A part of my humanity disappeared with Chino, a humanity that vanished by my own actions, and I will never get it back. Never. Of all the things I have experienced, these actions are the worst that have ever happened to me. I love animals, but every time I see a dog or find myself looking at a cute dog, a stone forms in my heart. I don’t feel like I deserve to be happy. I feel selfish even trying to move on. A part of me desperately wants to forget it. I look at other people who have never harmed anyone and think how blessed they are without knowing it. I feel like a horrible person.
I am unsure if I should tell my boyfriend. I feel like he has the right to know the kind of person he is with, even tho I am not like this anymore at all. Should I tell him? I have lost all my aggression today after many years of therapy. I had apparently developed a severe psychosis that lasted for several years. I also stopped hearing voices and the paranoia vanished completely. My psychosis also led to intense social anxiety, and today I constantly fear hurting others, that I will lose all control over my body and harm others. I no longer trust myself or my body. In a way, I understand why my parents never admitted what they had done because it is unbearable to live with. Knowing you have forever tainted the world with your actions and that there is nothing you can do to take it back.
No matter how good I am today and how many good deeds I do, I will never be able to take it back. It has become my legacy and my eternal curse.
Thank you for taking the time to read this

Hi all!
A new neighbour next to my mothers home, who’s only been here a year, has began to screw carpet spikes to the supports on my mothers side of a shared fence that the previous neighbour put up, seemingly to harm her two cats when climbing it, despite the neighbour never having an issue with them before, even attempting to feed them at times and looking to pet them when they visit her.
Part of me feels like this neighbour (50/60f) possibly has autism/mental health issues, and is retaliating because my mother prefers to keep to herself and not bite at the weird messages she sends and deletes at all hours of the morn.
This neighbour also had a dog put down recently but we don’t think it could have been as there was nothing wrong with it besides being an older pup. She would leave it tied up to fences and gates, when she started telling us about him having to be put down, she was leaving him wander into the streets and get lost, but neighbours knowing it was her dog, would bring him back.
The dog has since disappeared and she was messaging my mother to make a shared spaced they have, into a dedicated garden for him. Not caring for her anymore, my mother didn’t respond, and now carpet nails are being pinned to her side of said fence.
My mother spoke to her daughter (20s and also apparently has autism/mental health issues) asking if her mother was home, but she apparently wasn’t, so she advised she will be taking it down. But the daughter wouldn’t look up from her phone as she replied saying “Ok”. She was home and came out a bit later to tidy up her garden but completely avoided looking into our own or in our direction, but had no shame about herself as she did tbh.
My fear is that she will go further and try to harm the cats in other ways, I’ve googled it and it is illegal to place those at all, never mind on our side of the fence, it’s a council house too so we could make a complaint that way but I’m not sure how that would help. In most cases I would say take action but this woman gives me bad juju and I feel like any action would be met with a much more malice retaliation, if something happened to the cats, I doubt, unless we had definitive proof, that any justice would be taken.
Does anyone have any advice?

We rescued our now-10 month-old GSD mix (67% GSD, the rest Siberian Husky/Malamute per DNA test). We rescued her at 5 months old, though she was abandoned with her mom + litter mates at 3 months old. The "family" bred the dogs on purpose, then decided they didn't want to deal with them, and dumped them in an alleyway. About a month later, they called the rescue here that rescues dogs from the reservation, and they picked up the litter and mom. We adopted her in December at 5 mos old and she has been on Royal Canin food for German shepherds since then. Lots of chewing, lots of training, lots of love. She's very healthy and has regular checkups. But her ears are floppy, like a basset hound's ears are. Silky, floppy. She has big ears, and the floppiness is therefore causing moisture buildup and itchy ears, which yes; we clean often. But I want to figure out why her ears aren't standing for health reasons and because they do seem to bug her a lot, and I think standing them would help. Her breeds have pointed, upright ears but hers just aren't standing. At 10 months old, is there any hope? We have a friend who's a cop, and he has a K9 unit and he told us that his dog's ears didn't stand til he was about two years old, which I thought was weird, but his wife confirmed it. Please haaaaalp! Lol, I appreciate it! Please no comments about her "breeders"; I am thinking the exact same thing you are, and would like to focus on my question. Thank you!

Achieving and maintaining good health involves a holistic approach that encompasses physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Here are some key strategies to help you achieve the best and healthiest version of yourself:

1. Balanced Nutrition

• Eat a variety of foods: Ensure you get a mix of fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, whole grains, and healthy fats.
• Stay hydrated: Drink plenty of water throughout the day.
• Limit processed foods: Reduce intake of sugar, salt, and unhealthy fats.
• Portion control: Be mindful of portion sizes to avoid overeating.

2. Regular Exercise

• Consistency: Aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise or 75 minutes of vigorous-intensity exercise per week.
• Mix it up: Include a variety of activities such as cardio, strength training, flexibility exercises, and balance workouts.
• Find what you enjoy: Choose activities you like to make it easier to stick with them.

3. Quality Sleep

• Get enough sleep: Aim for 7-9 hours of sleep per night.
• Maintain a routine: Go to bed and wake up at the same time each day.
• Create a restful environment: Keep your bedroom dark, cool, and quiet, and avoid screens before bedtime.

4. Mental Health Care

• Manage stress: Practice stress-reducing techniques such as mindfulness, meditation, or yoga.
• Stay connected: Maintain strong relationships with family and friends.
• Seek help if needed: Don’t hesitate to seek professional help if you’re struggling with mental health issues.

5. Healthy Habits

• Avoid smoking and limit alcohol: If you smoke, seek help to quit. Drink alcohol in moderation.
• Stay active throughout the day: Avoid prolonged periods of sitting; take breaks to move around.
• Practice good hygiene: Wash your hands regularly, maintain dental hygiene, and take care of your skin.

6. Preventive Healthcare

• Regular check-ups: Visit your doctor for regular health screenings and check-ups.
• Vaccinations: Stay up-to-date with vaccinations.
• Know your health numbers: Keep track of your blood pressure, cholesterol, and blood sugar levels.

7. Personal Growth

• Set goals: Have personal and professional goals to work towards.
• Learn continuously: Engage in lifelong learning and keep your brain active.
• Practice gratitude: Regularly reflect on things you are grateful for.

8. Environmental Factors

• Healthy surroundings: Create a home and work environment that supports your health goals.
• Reduce exposure to toxins: Minimize exposure to environmental toxins and pollutants.

By integrating these strategies into your daily life, you can improve your overall health and well-being, making it easier to maintain a healthy lifestyle in the long run.

Family of 5 heading to DisneyWorld for the first big trip end of July! We have spend 1 day at DW with our teen when they were a preschooler, 1 day at DL-California when teen was a preschooler & tweens were toddlers, and 1 day at DL-Paris when our kids were young school age/preschool age - never stayed on site. This time we're doing three park days and staying in a deluxe resort so we're super excited and want to maximize as much as possible!
Our first day we plan to do Hollywood Studios in the morning/early afternoon and EPCOT in late afternoon.
I've been literally keeping myself up at night with our morning plan for Hollywood Studios and wondered if anyone would like to give feedback on the plan.
The plan:

1. 7am Buying Genie+, Booking Slinky Dog for our first one hopefully as early as possible in the morning and
2. Buy ILL for ROTR for around 11:30 AM. (will also purchase ILL for Guardians at EPCOT for a late afternoon time)
3. Rope drop Sunset Blvd. RocknRoller coaster (supposed to be open by the time we're there) then Tower of Terror, and hopefully get into Mickey and Minnie's Runaway Railway when the line is still pretty short. (8:30am-9:15am)
4. Toy Story Land by around 9:30am. Hopefully able to get a Genie+ reservation for an early morning time before 10:30am, wait for Toy Story Mania and Alien saucers. (9:15-11:00)
5. Star Wars - wait for Smugglers Run (or G+ if possible with how SDD G+ went), use our ROTR reservation. We have a 12:20 reservation at at Oga's Cantina and plan to do quickserve lunch at Docking Bay 7 (11:00-1:00)
6. Exit plan - Indiana Jones at 1:15. If things go more quickly throughout the morning and we end up finishing early the things we're interested in are Star Tours and Muppets 3D. We'd like to get on our way to EPCOT via boat by 2:30pm, arriving around 3pm, earlier would be great if things are very magical for us in terms of wait times :)

Does this look doable? Am I vastly underestimating times? I haven't done a busy day at a Disney Park since I was a kid as our other pop-in days were with little ones. We went for long days, but definitely did more shows and walk through type things than rides.
If you're still here (thank you!!) I would love any feedback!
A few lingering thoughts/questions if you're still here (thank you!!):

• How long do you wait in line with lightning lane for these busy rides (SDD and ROTR)? I especially want to make sure I'm adding enough time to make it to Oga's when I plan the ROTR ILL.
• Part of me thinks we're wasting our rope drop on Sunset Blvd. My tween son has also been historically scared of coasters and has opted out after waiting in line at Six Flags, but he hasn't tried one in 3 years besides the little ones at carnivals/festivals (which he does enjoy). I think there's a chance he opts out of Rocknroller coaster which seems like a bummer for his first ride ever at DW... but I also figure he wouldn't have waited at all and we'd do Tower of Terror with a short wait right after too.
• I am also concerned about getting a good time for SDD on G+. Anyone know what times are reasonable to expect if you try to get it right at 7am? I looked at 7:26am this morning and it was totally sold out for the whole day! We're doing HS on a Tuesday at the end of July and today's a June Sunday, but I am still concerned. I need a backup plan if we need to rope drop SDD due to bad G+ options.

Good morning!
I’ve been reflecting on my treatment: I was told that I had a “complete response” after only 8 ABVD infusions. No radiation required! I rung the bell on May 20th, but won’t have my follow up scan to confirm until the end of August.
If I have any advice for newbies nervous about starting treatment:
1) try to stay as “normal” as possible. I did not miss a day of work - but there were several short days (usually the day after the booster. 👎). If necessary, I went in on Saturdays to make up the time. I work in a very understaffed production facility for a company you’ve heard of, and there wasn’t really anyone who could back me up fully. It would have been nice to take a day to just rest up, but then I would have just been in bed feeling like dogshit, when I could be in my office feeling like dogshit. Minimal progress is better than no progress.
I found that while some days were hot garbage, being at work forced me to use my brain, and walk the plant floor. Mental and physical exercise is important. Brain fog is definitely real, but I found that I bounced back pretty well the more I was engaged.
Also… when treatment was over (for now, keeping my fingers crossed!), stepping back into life didn’t seem like a leap, but more like stepping out of a shadow into the sun.
2) Eat! After the first infusion, I spent two days feeling like dogshit (the only real way to describe it, in my opinion), not eating. We all know how it goes: nothing sounds good, your mouth hurts, you already feel full, vomiting is a valid concern, etc.
I had a great idea: the doc said I could eat anything, so long as I ate. I thought a giant roast beef sandwich meal from Arby’s was perfect - I thought I could keep it down, and there’s so much food that I could snack at work throughout the day. I left the drive thru for the five minute drive back to the plant: the fries did not last a mile. Underneath all the dogshit, I was HANGRY. Nearly always, I felt better after I ate something.
3) when not at work, or sleeping, KEEP YOUR BRAIN WORKING! Sudoku, jeopardy reruns (or, www.j-archive.com. If you’re a Jeopardy fan, you’re welcome!) puzzles, video games, even coloring. Just keep moving. It helps fight the fog!
That’s not to say that I don’t have my moments, even now. Especially when I’m tired, easy things like names or why I walked into a room seem to erase themselves.
4). It’s super easy to look at cancer and treatment as Everest. When you look at it in its entirety, it’s almost insurmountable. Keeping your sense of humor and taking pride in completing one step after another can break Everest into much smaller tasks that don’t seem impossible.
Also… I come from a long line of shit-stirrers, and I felt that if I could function and still feel like dogshit, making others slightly uncomfortable made me feel less alone.
I had a work dinner mid treatment. Infusions on Monday morning , booster Tuesday afternoon, and the dinner was Thursday evening. Everyone ordered their drinks, I got a coffee. The international director of manufacturing, whom I just met, was trying to bond and bust my chops a little bit. He asked if I had a “rough night partying” the night before. Usually, I’d “yes and”, but I was tired and super foggy, and none of my witticisms were coming very fast. I gave up and simply replied, “Nope, I just have cancer.” 🤷🏻‍♂️
The poor guy melted like Toht at the end of Raiders (if you know, you know. Double points for me because my guy was German as well.)
My boss immediately changed the subject, while I giggled internally. I eventually used Hodgkins to get out of 6am meetings. I found that having cancer was an awesome get out of jail free card.
Those are my pearls. Keep in mind that everyone’s treatment effects are different, and these wont be 100% for everyone. I’m seeing a lot of “life after chemo” and “I’m about to begin” posts lately, and thought I’d offer my experience.
You’re not alone in your journey! Keep putting one foot in front of the other, and you’ll get there!

Confused with title? haha, no worry - in short i'm looking for online friends. Probably for something longer, but not too serious. I have best friend already, but i need... different personality for some time. Mostly texting - I'm an introvert and calls kinda exhaust me, so yeah. Sorry to all "call people" that would be interested... I like to write with people who write a lot, preferably few sentences per message (aka block of text). Using a lot of one-liners like "yeah" or "lol" is uninteresting - express yourself and your thoughts buoooy!
Right, some introduction. I'm Simon, 27M. I'm a warm, social-anxious university student. Something between metalhead, nerd, lazy athlete and gamer. Honest but diplomatic. Teetotaler. Anti-drugs (weed included). Hate traveling and automotive hobbies.
I really like Halloween vibes (especially eldrich horror), no matter the day of the year. Oh, i'm also a pluviophile. Rain and dark clouds are my version of nice weather (and i hate Sun like nothing else).
I love animals, memes, horror movies, metal and horrorpunk music and realistic art (tattoos, paintings, digital art etc.). Sporadically I read some fantasy books and very rarely manga on top of academic books (also rarely, not really a bookworm nowadays).
My fav TV show is Courage the Cowardly Dog. Fav movie is Herrliche Zeiten(2018). Fav band (hard to pick one), but probably Milwaukee Wildmen (don't feel bad, nobody knows them). Fav food is pizza. Fav color is violet (or purple...?). ISFJ. Scorpio.
I'm really into culture stuff. Love meeting and talking with people from other cultures and religions. I do have a lot of experience writing with pen-pals from all around the world and previous reddit friendos. Personally more inclined towards traditional values (right wing), but not that much. I like ecological, engineer and various cultural topics/videos on youtube. I'm dumb AF when it comes to math or science, but i would like to change it someday. I do have some experience in small/medium sized carpentry and i enjoy (rarely) doing it. Working with wood can be pleasant. I'd like to make wooden sculptures in the future.
I dislike generic and overused things (maybe even mainstream as well?). E.g.: Corporate Memphis art style, Disney (i do have fav animation and princess, i just don't support this company), pop and rap music, social medias (posted via Reddit), furries and history topic.
Used to be a volunteer in places like child hospice and library. Nowadays I'm thinking about being a volunteer in animal shelter, but they're overflowing with volunteers (which is good).
I would like to try badminton and i think i can really get into board games (have some experience with DnD and lotwarhammer tabletops on top of widely-known games like monopoly).
If I sparked your interest, dm or chat request me. I prefer writing through discord since i'm not that often on reddit (sometimes almost everyday, sometimes once a month), but we can stick with reddit if you prefer so - no problem.
Thank you for your time.

Okay so! Full context here, this week my left hip and si joint caught fire worse than ever before. Throbbing pain, radiating down my knee and shins. Didn't get a peep of sleep for 2 days. Got prednisone from my rhuemy, and thank gooodness, it calmed it right down in a few days.
BUT, my other spots of flares have returned to be similar or worse while I'm still on prednisone.
So my jaw, specifically and a little bit in my ankle and ribs. But my jaw pain is quite worse than it was before, waking me up, struggling to get my mouth open wide enough to get much food in. Shouldn't prednisone help with this? Definitely feel like it shouldn't hurt! Makes me concerned.
Anyone else share similar experiences? or have any advice?

I am not a certified instructor but I have some knowledge from reading and a lot of trial and error.
With that and being part of forums and groups and so on in regard to fitness I have seen some stupid advice. So please list them here.
The most common I see is when someone’s lower back hurts someone suggests they deadlift. Now lets think about this. This person is in pain putting down the bowl of dog food on the floor. And you suggest they pull a metal bar with weights on both sides to fix that? Ummm okay.

I moved in with a family friend 6 months ago and signed a 6 month lease with her. We both put down a deposit of $3,395 (which we split) she works as a car dealer and has a side business of doing nails and waxing (unlicensed) but I figured hey money is money and she seemed responsible.
I knew going into this she had 2 dogs, but I had no idea how little she cared for them. When we first moved in she kept them blocked off in the kitchen (with broken pieces of a baby crib) it was so annoying having to move these to get into the kitchen. They would urinate all over the kitchen floor and on the cabinets and fridge. One of them is not neutered so would mark everywhere and the other would follow and she would never buy pee pads but even if she bought peed pads they are leg lifters so there is still pee on the walls and cabinets and trash can. It felt like pulling teeth, asking her to get them a playpen to keep them contained. It took her months to do so. Once she finally got the pen, the dogs were moved into the living room where they lasted for a while, but there was issues with the water bowl spilling onto the wooden floor and she refused to buy a mat to put their food and water bowls under. So it was back to the kitchen. Where she recently started opening their pen up and brought back the prices of crib to contain them in the kitchen. I decided to leave after this.
The abuse: -she leaves them in their pen for 15+ hours at a time -I have asked her to come on her lunch to let them out since she lives 6 minutes away from her day job and she refuses, she even refuses to stop by after her day job before she goes to do nails at her nail room which is 30 minutes away from her day job. -our ac system only stays on for 2 hours at a time and we live on the 2nd floor so it gets HOT -both dogs have severe dental disease -she never walks them -she takes them out in the front yard maybe once a day if they are lucky -never picks up their poop not sure how neighbors have not complained -the blankets in their play pen smell like urine (and so does the whole apartment) -they are able to jump out of the pen and have no access to water or food for hours -she refuses to take them to the vet -one of them has had a hotspot on his back since we have moved in (it’s been 6 months) -they have fleas, I have given her meds but she refused to give them the meds because she thinks it will hurt their stomachs -I’m a vet tech and I have offered to have them be seen at my hospital but she refuses to put any money towards the dogs There’s probably more but this post would be longer than it already is.
Anyway, she is refusing to give me my portion of the deposit now that I am moving out. She decided she is staying and will be signing a one year lease. She told me she has no plans to bring in another roommate and it will just be her and the dogs and possibly her boyfriend (who she cheats on 🥴 - and that’s a whole other can of worms) im thinking she might bring her nail/waxing business in the 2nd room. Her dogs also ruined the couch that I brought (we have no furniture in the house only the small couch because the dogs pee on EVERYTHING) One time when I went on vacation before I put a lock on my door she had opened my window during the rainy season to “air it out” because I had mentioned there was a new paint smell and I found 3 puddles of dog urine in my room some fresh some dry. She did not have much to say about this and was shocked when I told her I found their pee in my room. There have been multiple occasions where I accidentally left my room door open and the dogs would pee on the foot of my bed and on bags I would have on my floor.
She told me once her 1 year lease she will be signing is up only then will she give me my portion of the deposit. I don’t want to be liable for the damages these dogs are going to cause once I leave. Our lease clearly states that the landlord has nothing to do with the division of the deposit so I’m lowkey screwed. However she did text me she would give me my deposit when the lease was up before (where she did not specify it would be after her one year lease) but now that I have reminded her she said she’ll pay me once she gets the deposit back when she moves out…. A year later. Since the 6 month lease we both signed is up by the end of this month, I’m getting out. I’ve decided I will take her to small claims court if she does not pay me my portion although I’m not sure that text will hold up in court.
Any tips??? Would be greatly appreciated!!
There is a happy ending I got approved for a 1 bedroom apartment and will no longer have to be dealing with any roommates at all!

I dreamt I was at school and when I looked in the mirror nothing was glitched nothing was distorted nothing weird or creepy in the background like I'm used to. But me and a group of friends in the dream we all had face paint on like an animal face paint. Nothing weird happened. We just talked about how cool it looked. Meanwhile I'm thinking to myself I definitely didn't have this on before so it's a dream lol then I did the light switch dream check and of course it wouldn't let me turn them off and on. And then I checked the clock and it was distorted so I'm like yup I'm dreaming and then we went and got food together in the dream. But I'm curious why nothing weird happened with the mirror. Maybe cuz other dream characters were using the mirror so I felt comfort in that and I didn't expect anything scary.

My husband has never been a nice person, he used me for a full year when I first moved here to be with him (mind you I am from a whole different country, moved all the way across the continent to be here) he made me pay for dinners, groceries, rent, asked me to buy him things had me pay for his flights and accommodations when we traveled and threw a stink when I didn’t. He also made over 100k a year. I also cooked, cleaned etc. he would become angry when I didn’t, even sometimes got up and left the house all together telling me he could do better yelling and screaming if house was dirty or food wasn’t ready. He didn’t do anything for me, no valentines surprise, no birthday gift or surprise meal, no flowers, no thank you for everything you do. Nothing. Ever. But when he would have fits he would apologize after and I felt loved he would hug me and say sorry. I couldn’t see there was ever much of a reason to leave. Being alone would be worse and I was already all the way across the continent. Fast forward I married him and we eventually moved for his job. Because of the location we moved there was no work for me at all. He made me pay for his/our whole move there and paid our rent when we got there. Money was less of a problem now. But the treatment has gotten unbearable. He screams whenever I speak to him (he smokes a lot of weed) I’ve asked him to stop a few times because he drives impaired and whenever I say something he doesn’t like he hits me with “I’m leaving, never should of married you, your the worst thing that’s ever happened to me” etc. it hurts. It always feels like a kids to the chest every out burst. But I just try harder to do everything right. 6 months later I’m pregnant (accident I was on bc) his family is so excited he wanted me to have the kid we decided to keep it. I’m about 6 weeks along now. I’ve been so sick this week, and needed help in the kitchen as I was struggling to cook myself something and haven’t been able to eat all day. He came to the kitchen flipped my sandwich once and said “can you finish this? I need to go take a shit” when I walked down the hall he was not in the restroom he was in the garage getting high. So I spent 20 minutes gagging over a sandwich while he ditched me to go smoke. I confronted him later, and it resulted in an immediate blow up. He yelled at me that I am a raging bitch and all I do is nag and bitch and jumped up and said I need another hit you drive me crazy and walked out and took another hit. I was obviously crying and upset very hurt me crying annoyed him more resulting him to get out of bed and leave the room to go sleep in the hammock outside. I told him please don’t do this please can we just have a normal conversation your hurting me and he got in my face so close he was spitting on me and yelled “get the fuck back in the fucking bed and get the fuck away from me, and I want you to get a fucking abortion on Monday I don’t want a fucking kid with you” pointed at the bed while yelling this as if I was a dog. Went out the hammock and that was it. I layed in bed a while crying and eventually walked out to the hammock and confronted him, immediately after walking out there he said “if you don’t get the fuck away from me I am going to hit you right now” which blew my mind because he has never thrown a hand before and I am pregnant. I immediately walked inside. He came in an hour later and just got in bed cuddling me like nothing happened and went to sleep. I cried the entire night and I am at a complete draw on what to do. I’m so upset, but I love him.

$CYPEPE is crazy hot at the moment as all the hype around it brought to CoinMarketCap trending page rank 2! Make sure to buy early as we are just starting!

Please connect with the $CYPEPE telegram community. Search for it on Linktree below:
https://linktr.ee/cypepe
Dextools chart:
https://www.dextools.io/app/en/ethepair-explore0x2170d569a221bbcded4a837b233aa8f230aaa31a
Coinmarketcap:
https://coinmarketcap.com/currencies/cypepe/
Contract address ERC-20:
0x80a88dc663fa256e34ecb5a47314702313b162a5
Tell me more about $CYPEPE!
CyPepe is a fusion of a machine and a biological organism. He is a highly developed frog whose body has been permanently enhanced with advanced artificial intelligence and components. As a cybernetic organism and a technologically modified life form, he fights for the Pepe frogs’ alliance against ugly dogs, cats and other foolish-looking creatures to maintain the balance of the one and only Pepe meme tokens in the crypto universe.
What marketing can I expect from $CYPEPE team?

• CoinMarketCap trending page rank 2 at this moment!
• MEXC listed
• More top tier 1 CEXes following soon!
• Coinmarketcap listing – Done!
• Coingecko listing – Done!
• Trending everywhere! You will definitely hear about $CYPEPE from the people you follow
• Experienced team! - Team did 100M +MC project in the past

Tokenomics:

• Symbol: $CYPEPE
• Total Supply: 1,000,000,000
• Buy tax: 0%
• Sell tax: 0%
• Ownership: Renounced
• Liquidity: Burned

Important links:
Linktree: https://linktr.ee/cypepe
Website: https://cypepe.vip
Telegram: @ CyPepe
Twitter: https://x.com/cypepecoineth

It could give them water, food, love caring friendship fulfillment, adoration, being seen for who they are, a fatherly character to guide them and even tho it seems like utter hate and abandonment, it's like a dog on a leash, the dog ain't gone outside the leash's length.
Which only means you're loved if you're given the ability to roam the grass, for whatever the limit goes. You're cared for because you are on the leash, not gone loose to do whatever you want.
You may bite another dog and run away from your owner, but your owner loves you and wants you not on a leash, but freely to have you come to them and love them.
Your owner basically grants you your toys and a bed to sleep so that you won't sleep on the floor. A toy to run after and enjoy, the bowl of food and water that he's cleaning for you. The owner cares for when you're bored and needing to play, when you're tired to lay you softly in your bed and be covered. When you're a lap dog and needing to sit down at your owner's lap and enjoy him patting you, loving you, feeling skin to skin with somebody who values your needs, you, and enjoy your company.
Humans never do. Humans will seek vengeance over a person who gives their heart out to help. Humans will get hurt like 12 years old rather than act as adults and understand that sometimes, sometimes when you're cared by somebody, they'll tough- love you for your own good.
Sometimes you may think that's evil. Parent denying you off something you really want. Pokemon cards for example, insert any example here. You buy some for 30$ and are happy. Lust for more and the gambling aspect takes place, you pay extra 70$. You want more of it, while your caretaker said stop at 30%. You pay 500$ more. You reach 1500$ and then looking at an album sitting in your closer, not knowing what to do with it. You paid 1500$ for something you aren't using.
People will make excuses and say that's fine, you've followed your heart. Give me one example in your life where you've followed your heart and good came out of it. I'll debate and prove to you that it never gives you anything good because the heart is wicked. The heart doesn't know what it wants. Emotions aren't bad or good, they're emotions, they're there. However when we make them guide us, listen, you never listen to your emotions solely. You mix your mind with them, that's called using wisdom as a starter.
Humans, you can be God coming down to save them, you can be an angel, you can be the best person they've met, you can feed them while they're poor and at war, but once you disapprove of an action they've done? You're an enemy, wicked and ugly-hearted. You've been lying, you never cared bla bla bla.
People are never appreciative of anything. They may wish you happiness and a farewell and wishing you the best in life, while 2 lines above they've hurt you out of vengeance over you caring for them, guiding them.
Many adults reach ages of 70 and are still 8 years old in their minds, unhealthy, insane, being obnoxious. Lots of prior experience, worked with idiots my whole life. I know people.
Growing in wisdom is the only thing worthy getting old for.
Learn wisdom and get knowledgable. Nobody in the entire human history has access to what you do have.
Appreciate what you have and DM me telling me how happy you've instantly become. Test me. Do it. I dare you. I'll buy you sushi if you win. I won't lose because it's been proven on tens of thousands, millions of millions of people only, in therapy, in religion.
Be thankful for what you have and you'll become instantly happier in your life, no matter how horrible it is.
Most of us don't have life the way that we want. Rich people are filled with their happiness in this world, but I hope to have something afterwards.
I hope to finally rest.

I wouldn't say I'm a first time dog handler, but I've been around home dogs. I'm planning on getting guard dogs, what advise can you give me in terms of how many guard dogs I should get, their food, overall monthly budget and other advise on keeping dogs. I'm planning on getting dogs for security purposes.

For context, I manage a cafe store.
Today, someone walked in with their dog so I asked “Is that a service animal?” I was told yes. Since it was not obvious it was a service animal, I followed up with “what tasks is your dog trained to perform?” I was immediately met with hostility. I was offered her doctor’s letter and the dog’s ID (there is no legal ID for legitimate service dogs as the ADA and DOJ determine it to be a scam and not proof), both of which I declined to see as that’s not proof that a dog is a service animal in the United States. I asked her what tasks the dog does again, and was then told that it was illegal for me to ask, to which I told her “no ma’am. According to the Americans with Disabilities Act, I am allowed to ask two questions, which I have asked you and your refusal to answer the question adequately, with hostility. Since you are being hostile, I am asking you to leave.” She blew up in my face, demanding my name, which I did not give her, and my position, to which I told her I was the manager on duty (and she didn’t believe me lol). I actually ended up calling the police because she kept harassing me. I was called crazy and psychotic, despite me not acting all crazy. I was told by another party that she’s married to a cop, which doesn’t matter in this case.
While on the phone with dispatch, I was asked to see where she was located. I found her and she came back into the store (mind you she was asked to leave already) and started getting even more hostile and demanded my phone to speak to the police. I bluntly told her “I am not giving you my personal cell phone, ma’am.” She didn’t like that. Like why would I give a crazy Karen my PERSONAL cell phone? Her and someone she was with decided to start video recording me (which is legal unfortunately), so I just walked to the back room to try and bring my heart rate down while waiting for the cops.
Cops come, I tell him what happened, and had this Karen and her entire family trespassed from here since apparently they think they’re above federal ADA laws, not to mention local, state, and federal health code laws. Starbucks is not pet friendly in the United States because we are a food and beverage establishment. While I understand Starbucks only allows the one question in their policy, I still ask the two because it better protects legitimate service dog teams and we are legally allowed to ask the second question (laws override policy any day of the week). This was all literally over me doing my job.
AITA for refusing her service and calling the cops?
https://www.ada.gov/resources/service-animals-faqs/

Never know what to put in these lol. I’m 27M currently living in the great state of Minnesota.
I’m about 6’4 with brown hair and brown eyes. I am a huge gamer and I just love gaming in general. If I could do it all again I would probably try going into games journalism, but I just enjoy reading about and playing them for now.
I’m really a jack of all trades kind of gamer lol. I love a good time in valorant or apex. But at the same time a sad game about life that will make you cry is also a time well spent. The only games I don’t really play are horror because I’m a scaredey cat.
I’m really just a nerd in general too. I love Star Trek and sci-fi in general, love reading everything from Stormlight Archive to The Hail Mary project. I used to (and still somewhat do) run a book club here on Reddit so I love to explore new books and genres. Love Dungeons and Dragons (if you want me to talk for hours that’s a good topic lol) and I’m eternally searching for that perfect group of friends irl to share my ever growing collection of board games with.
Some fun facts about me is that I am hard of hearing and west hearing aids all the time unless I have a headset or something. And I’ve had s dream to publish a novel since I was 8.
Im really just looking for my better half. Someone that I can talk to about everything from the random thoughts in my head to the big problems that come. Someone that I can spend hours with just cuddling on the couch. You don’t have to be s gamer, but it is definitely a plus.
I also just recently (like 2 weeks ago) finally fulfilled my dream of getting a dog of my own. A little cutie floof named Albert so loving dogs is a must
Looking forward to seeing your pms/chats!

I’ve been single for several years and have enjoyed life, but I want this year to be different. I’m looking for a potential partner who can join me in studying, traveling, playing badminton, and hopefully something serious.
About me: - Student🐯 - No condo (living with parents) - No car (I don’t know how to drive) - Single and available - 5’1” (last measured in 2020) - Normal build with a bit of belly fat (effect of being a pre-med student) - Kind, easy to talk to, and funny (according to friends) - Suplada, strict, and tahimik (according to strangers) - Average looks (not conventionally ugly or pretty, definitely not chinita) - Interests: sleeping, badminton, swimming, coffee, kdrama, books (non-fiction/academic/self-help books, photography, and into food trip/road trip)
About you: - Student/Working professional (not unemployed or tambay) - Financially stable - Single and available (don’t want any angry messages from your someone) - Interesting conversationalist but not pretentious - Not a one-liner in replies - Don’t mind if you’re conyo or an English speaker (but will mostly speak to you in Tagalog in person) - Slim to chubby - Kind, not a serial killer - No vices and not a Marcos voter - Simple looks, cute or handsome (if you’re model-like, I’d look like your younger sister)
If you're interested, send me an introduction and clearly state your intentions. Please be honest about everything so we can both feel comfortable if we’re compatible. I won't respond without a proper introduction. Also, I’m not interested to a copy-and-paste message.
If no one DMs, I’ll delete this post na lang.

Never know what to put in these lol. I’m 27M currently living in the great state of Minnesota.
I’m about 6’4 with brown hair and brown eyes. I am a huge gamer and I just love gaming in general. If I could do it all again I would probably try going into games journalism, but I just enjoy reading about and playing them for now.
I’m really a jack of all trades kind of gamer lol. I love a good time in valorant or apex. But at the same time a sad game about life that will make you cry is also a time well spent. The only games I don’t really play are horror because I’m a scaredey cat.
I’m really just a nerd in general too. I love Star Trek and sci-fi in general, love reading everything from Stormlight Archive to The Hail Mary project. I used to (and still somewhat do) run a book club here on Reddit so I love to explore new books and genres. Love Dungeons and Dragons (if you want me to talk for hours that’s a good topic lol) and I’m eternally searching for that perfect group of friends irl to share my ever growing collection of board games with.
Some fun facts about me is that I am hard of hearing and west hearing aids all the time unless I have a headset or something. And I’ve had s dream to publish a novel since I was 8.
Im really just looking for my better half. Someone that I can talk to about everything from the random thoughts in my head to the big problems that come. Someone that I can spend hours with just cuddling on the couch. You don’t have to be s gamer, but it is definitely a plus.
I also just recently (like 2 weeks ago) finally fulfilled my dream of getting a dog of my own. A little cutie floof named Albert so loving dogs is a must
Looking forward to seeing your pms/chats!

What's this?: Each month in Doctor Who Magazine they have a column by Russell T Davies (formerly 'Letter from the Showrunner', before that 'Production Notes') - a column by someone involved in the production of Doctor Who, and normally in the form of either the showrunner writing pieces about writing Doctor Who or the showrunner answering reader-submitted questions. Because these pieces and questions have often been used as a source for blogs to write misleading stories, they started being typed up for /gallifrey.
Hey thanks for doing this! Now I don't have to buy it: Yes you do, otherwise you'll be missing out on: in-depth previews of the four episodes of the new series (73 Yards, Dot and Bubble, Rogue, The Legend of Ruby Sunday); an interview with Jonathan Groff (Rogue); behind-the-scenes set reports from Space Babies, The Devil's Chord and Boom; an interview with Steven Moffat; a feature on the script-to-screen process behind the effects in Space Babies; a deconstruction of "The Rescue"; the first part of DWM's Fifteenth Doctor comic-strip "The Hans of Fear"; reviews for all of this month's DVD/CD/Book releases and EVEN MORE.
It's available physically in shops and digitally via Pocketmags.com!
Want an archive of the previous Production Notes that have been posted on /gallifrey?: Follow this link.
I am writing this in New York! It's the Doctor Who press junket (definition of junket: a sweet milky pudding, or a promotional trip, discuss). This is how it works. We're put in a hotel, me, Ncuti, Millie, plus their agents, with fleets of publicists. We all have a chocolate TARDIS in our rooms, to welcome us! (And none of this comes out of the licence fee, don't worry.) Then an entire floor of the hotel is set aside; there's a room of food, which ends up untouched because we're so busy, plus rooms with cameras in, one for each of us. (You've seen these rooms on every bit of publicity made in the last 20 years, usually a dark curtain with the logo in the background, often with Alison Hammond nearby. I wish! We want Allison!) And there's another room where, for half an hour every day, Ncuti and Millie and me are brought together to face a zoomful of journalists, 20 faces in boxes, all staring at us. This is my least favourite half hour of the day; Ncuti and Millie look beautiful, I look like the Werthers Original Grandpa.
Then it's back to our individual rooms. I sit there, on camera. Sometimes a journalist will come to sit opposite me, but most appear on camera, from Spain, from Berlin, from Rio. And it's fast! The PR in charge tells them 'You have six minutes.' Once in a while, it's 'You have nine minutes' and I wonder what Faustian pact has gained them the extra time. Once a day, someone has 15 minutes and I think this must be a Pulitzer winner!
This amounts to, on average, 28 interviews every day. 48 if you include that zoom. Over three days that's 144. It's dizzying! The thing is: you're encouraged to repeat yourself. Or you'd go mad. No one has 144 different anecdotes. At the same time, you're encouraged to, as the PR speak has it, 'Bring your roses.' I hooted at that phrase, but I've come to like it. It means, give out gifts. Have certain stories that you can choose for each journalist; that's for you, that's for you, that's for you. And now and again, if you really like an interviewer: have the bunch!
It becomes a mad blur. I repeat. I forget I've repeated and repeat again. I act, I try to make every story sound new. Sometimes I lie. Sometimes I bait. An imp in my mind still wants to find 144 stories - isn't that my job?! - so while I talk, a searchlight in my head is sweeping those dark corners for treasures. I'm in a freefall of words and find myself saying things I haven't thought about for years. Lots of journalists ask about The Devil's Chord, how the expensive copyright on Beatles tracks inspired my idea to have Maestro taking music away, but then suddenly, one afternoon (is it afternoon? The windows are still curtained, we are cocooned) I find myself saying, "It's Peer Gynt." A pause. "Oh?" "Yes, it's Act IV of Peer Gynt, the tumbleweeds appear and tell Peter: We are the songs, you should have sung us. A thousand times, you stifled and strangled us. In the mine of your heart, we've lain and waited, we were never summoned. Curse you, curse you." A pause. A silence. Then. "So what was it like to work with Jinkx Monsoon?!"
But that's true, that's what inspired Maestro draining Timothy Drake's heart. Where do you get your ideas from? Ibsen! Somehow the blur of words has woken that fact from its hiding place.
On and on it goes, and it's knackering - though I'm not complaining, I love this stuff because I think it's important. We want Doctor Who in every headline across the world. So onwards, onwards!
Then suddenly, oh faithful DWM reader, it all comes full circle. Out of the blue, one journalist - I'm sorry, I can't remember, was it Eric? - finishes his six minutes. "Thank you, bye!" But then he says quickly, "I just wanted to say..."
Argh, hurry up, the switchover from one interviewer to another is fast! It's brutal! You're on a bobsleigh, Eric, you've got about eight seconds! What?!
"I just wanted to say thank you for your page in Doctor Who Magazine."
"Oh. Wait! What? This page?"
"If it wasn't for that, I wouldn't have got into journalism, I wouldn't be doing this job today."
"Really? Gosh! But how - ?"
"Well, because - "
Click!
"Hi, this is Amber from HotSpike in Chile! What was it like to work with Jinkx Monsoon?!"
Gone. Eric. If it was Eric. Goodbye.
But what a lovely thing to say. No one's ever said that before. And I reckon there's a chance that Eric might still be reading, so...
Thank you. Hugely. Thank you.
Onwards.
"Amber, we had so much fun! Like Ibsen says..."

I got diagnosed with BPD after several clinical interviews with a psychologist. I definitely have whiplash mood swings, intense anger (mostly internalized), a very unstable self-image and severe dissociative episodes when stressed.
However, I'm not sure about the other criteria. But maybe I'm misinterpreting them and my experiences do qualify?
I've self-harmed in the past, and again recently in a variety of ways when all my childhood trauma was dragged up. But not once in the 12 years prior to that, unless denying myself food (when angered) counts? I also have suicidal ideation but never gestures or plans.
I have stable relationships with people. I don't mind being alone and often prefer it. I'm not terrified of my partner leaving. I have experienced fear of abandonment with someone but never made any frantic efforts to prevent it, even when that fear was massively triggered. I do relate strongly to symptoms of AvPD, I'm always afraid of criticism and rejection.
I'm not impulsive at all, and mostly risk averse. I can drive recklessly in anger but that's it. I've never made drastic life changes either.
I don't know if I experience chronic emptiness? I've never described it as such. I do often feel unfulfilled, like something's missing from my life, and I constantly distract myself because otherwise I feel a kind of existential boredom and like I'm meaningless, or untethered somehow. Is that what feeling empty is?
I'll discuss it with my psychologist as well, but I'd love to get some additional insight.

Hi, I’m a 5’5 110 lb girl. I started a loose animal based/ heavy meat diet for health reasons, wanted to give my body the nutrients it deserves. I was raised vegan til I was 12 years old but haven’t been vegan since. I’m pretty active. Always moving, some form of work out 3-5x a week. Walking, hiking, Pilates, light weight lifting, yoga, etc. I have always had a strong sense of hunger; struggled with binge eating in the past.
I’ve really been focusing on the meat and fats aspect of this diet, but enjoy the fruit, yogurt, raw milk, raw cheese, arugula, etc. I had never been a red meat gal, veggies, fruit, chicken and fish predominantly with a fair share of “healthy” processed food like protein bars. Didn’t think my body could even digest red meat well. BUT:
I’ve noticed since starting this diet that I’ve been binging on the beef. I can’t get enough. I’ll sit down to eat a ground beef meal and will eat the whole pound in one sitting, along with apples, raw cheese, dates, ghee, you name it. I just feel like I can’t stop. I get to the point of pain, finally stopping myself thinking, okay, I probably won’t eat again today. Then lo and behold, a few hours later I’m hungry again and the cycle starts again.
I’m easily consuming 3,000 calories to 4,000 calories a day. Yesterday I had 200g of fat and 130g of protein, about 3000 calories. A pound of beef, butter coffee, eggs, keto chocolate, avocado, arugula, fruit, half pound of beef with organ meat.
I’ve consistently heard that people on this diet are able to curb binge eating tendencies, but I’m facing the opposite. People say they can’t binge on beef, but it’s fucking delicious and I seem to be the one percent here. I’m trying to figure out if maybe I’m finally giving my body the proper nutrients and it’s going through a refeeding period, or if I’m just engaging in unhealthy eating habits and need to figure out something else.
Has anyone else struggled with this? The discomfort at the digestion stage after eating is uncomfortable. I haven’t gained weight which is shocking but I definitely feel more fluffy. I’m so confused. help. Does this bottomless pit of hunger ever go away? I can’t afford to be eating 1.5 lbs of grass fed grass finished beef a day forever.