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Crossdress_Expression
2020.03.27 09:06 VeronicaMendes2013 Crossdress_Expression
Cross-dressing is, among other things, a form of artistic self-expression for many. When we cross-dress, we aspire to be someone other than who we are in our normal lives and fantasy definitely plays a role for many of us as well. This sub welcomes all your lovely photos that embody who you are when you are dressed. We won't scrutinize you for using filters. Disclose it if you wish. I've labeled this NSFW but not x-rated. No exposed genitalia or other nudity please. Only tasteful pics.
2009.07.18 14:57 jimmick Mr. Wade Winston Wilson
A subreddit for all things about me! Talk about the best Marvel antihero (me) and my exploits, whether it be comic, or upcoming movie, or more! 'DEADPOOL AND WOLVERINE' in theaters July 26.
2021.02.04 23:58 Spellbound_Ashe RollForSeduction
X Rated Tabletop Stream. This is what happens when sex worker nerds ask themselves...Why not both?
2024.05.16 08:16 johnsmithalabama3669 Do You Think I am Being Compensated Fairly? And What Can I do?
Hi, I am an EMT in Alabama. (Alabama refers all Wage and Labor Laws back to whatever the Federal Standards are)
My Question to you is this Am I being compensated Fairly, Legally or Correctly. Key Facts: 1. I work 48 Hours on shift and 96 Hours Off. 2. I make 15 Dollars an Hour. 3. I get Paid Bi-Weekly. 4. I make Bi- Weekly Pre-Tax $1,560 -80 Hours x $15 + 16 Hours x 22.5. 5. My Daily Rate excluding OverTime @$360.00
The Problems that I think isn’t Fair or Legal is My employer pays Bonus Pay to Part Timers or Full Timers to work open Shifts. They are paid using the Following Method. Including Incentive Pay. 1. EMT Hourly Rate $15.00 2. Additional Bonus for Working an Open Shifts $200.00 Per 24 Hour Period. 3. Plus Additional Hourly Compensation of $20.00x 24 Hours.
So this Puts a Part Time Employee Working a 24 Hour Shift @ $1,040.
My Concern and Complaint is this….
Is it Legal for My Employer to compensate a Part Time Employee to Perform the Same Job Functions, Share the Same Exact Responsibilities. And Have the same Education as myself and Make almost 3 times what I make a shift? My view is the Full Timers are punished for being Full Time Employees. And the part Timers are being rewarded for their lack of Company Commitment.
What are your Thoughts?
submitted by johnsmithalabama3669 to legaladvice [link] [comments]
My Question to you is this Am I being compensated Fairly, Legally or Correctly. Key Facts: 1. I work 48 Hours on shift and 96 Hours Off. 2. I make 15 Dollars an Hour. 3. I get Paid Bi-Weekly. 4. I make Bi- Weekly Pre-Tax $1,560 -80 Hours x $15 + 16 Hours x 22.5. 5. My Daily Rate excluding OverTime @$360.00
The Problems that I think isn’t Fair or Legal is My employer pays Bonus Pay to Part Timers or Full Timers to work open Shifts. They are paid using the Following Method. Including Incentive Pay. 1. EMT Hourly Rate $15.00 2. Additional Bonus for Working an Open Shifts $200.00 Per 24 Hour Period. 3. Plus Additional Hourly Compensation of $20.00x 24 Hours.
So this Puts a Part Time Employee Working a 24 Hour Shift @ $1,040.
My Concern and Complaint is this….
Is it Legal for My Employer to compensate a Part Time Employee to Perform the Same Job Functions, Share the Same Exact Responsibilities. And Have the same Education as myself and Make almost 3 times what I make a shift? My view is the Full Timers are punished for being Full Time Employees. And the part Timers are being rewarded for their lack of Company Commitment.
What are your Thoughts?
2024.05.16 07:57 gdgdagg ROARING KITTY STREAM FROM THE ANON’S SHOE Timestamps and Notes from Wednesday January 13th, 2021 [Part 1]
![ROARING KITTY STREAM FROM THE ANON’S SHOE Timestamps and Notes from Wednesday January 13th, 2021 [Part 1]](https://external-preview.redd.it/eU8wfhJgHmipndZmNoReuDWVpeHBzYPVf4lwJXyk_OE.jpg?width=108&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=2c1436936eeff11f207f31a26d46ebafca39e7c9 "ROARING KITTY STREAM FROM THE ANON’S SHOE Timestamps and Notes from Wednesday January 13th, 2021 [Part 1]") | From the most recent X post from @TheRoaringKitty submitted by gdgdagg to Superstonk [link] [comments] SuperStonk Thread: https://www.reddit.com/Superstonk/comments/1csznqh/roaring_kitty_theroaringkitty_on_x/ X Post: https://twitter.com/theroaringkitty/status/1790894938277695671?s=46&t=1kgf16QwDp2Ydp9mdZLBYw At timestamp 2:05: https://preview.redd.it/0j2bu8m7aq0d1.png?width=594&format=png&auto=webp&s=e0dab32dd836c7c836d8a1ef0ade20d50ce01b5f Link to stream: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UhhgpNFKPQ. Shoutout to the ape’s who originally found the stream and linked it for easy access for a smooth brain like me to click! From there, I decided that I should watch it and provide timestamps. It’s obvious to me that RK wanted us to look at that specific stream. There are so many parallels to the current situation (Wednesday, action on no news, high short interest, increasing volume, etc.). Please take the time to watch the first 3-10 minutes of the stream! If you are in a hurry, hopefully my notes summarize the sections well. [this is a 5 hour stream. I was watching at 2x speed, but only got to 3hrs 23min in. I’ll finish tomorrow ASAP!] TL;DR THE THESIS HASN’T CHANGED 7:20 2nd part of the thesis starts today [WEDNESDAY] *10:29 Where does it go from here? 12:30 Emoji Enjoyer *14:15 Updated Thesis [Ryan Cohen] 18:40 Multi Day Runs 19:28 Meme Stock BS 30:15 After Hours Volume Check 34:38 Consequences for Shorts *36:10 POUR ONE OUT FOR THE SHORTS 39:15 Betting on a Short Squeeze 40:57 Overstock comparison **42:30 “For the folks new to the GameStop story”
54:30 Two ways to value a stock like GameStop
* 1:05:30 Bad Analysis vs. Good Analysis 1:12:45 Shortseller’s Thesis [Bankruptcy] 1:14:35 What actually matters [Cash Flow] 1:18:45 Has the squeeze started? [No, SI not released for 2 weeks and shorts didn’t close] 1:22:35 Dividends? [Doubt that. More likely to reinvest] 1:26::28 International Audience! [Brazil mentioned] 1:40:40 Company Tracking Methodology *1:43:15 GameStop can invent it’s legacy business [PC Gaming] 1:48:05 Who to listen to for information? [Build opinions over time, review results and recalibrate] 1:57:00 Q: Do you consider that the market can act rationally? A: Absolutely, you have to take that into account 2:02:30 Discussion around other stocks 2:21:35 Q: Has the short squeeze started? [A: a short squeeze is a price rising as a result of the shorts closing] 2:22:50 Robot Shorts [large institutions] *2:24:55 Cheers to the great Ryan Cohen and crew! 2:28:40 Discussion around steel stock *2:35:40 Value Investor to roth(?) Investor [Because of Ryan Cohen because of what it can become]
2:47:13 Talking about Cramer 2:51:00 Legit Thesis: Bear sentiment major overhang. Chatter about stock is a good thing! 2:53:15 Discussing other stocks *2:58:23 “The more you dig into the GME situation, the better it looks long. Cohen changes the game” 3:00:40 Getting rid of the dividend - why RK became interested in the stock 3:02:18 Short squeeze timeline [days, weeks, even months!] 3:03:45 Maximizing Returns [Concentration/ outsized positions that are ‘really right’] 3:08:20 Financial Advice [Can’t provide specific advice without context] 3:10:50 Borrow Rate/ Fee Trend 3:14:10 “sir, this is a casino” 3:17:00 GME Charts 3:19:25 Pullbacks [lets you see how strong the move is] 3:21:00 “You don’t want to overthink 5 minute charts” 3:23:30 Discussing other Stocks -- End of Part 1 -- I’ll watch the last two hours tomorrow morning ASAP at work! I hope everyone can enjoy and maybe a few wrinkle brains can find what Roaring Kitty was referring to in their last post. Have a great night and see you all tomorrow! |
2024.05.16 07:50 AutoModerator IF YOUR NAME IS JONATHAN, YOU SHOULD SPEND YOUR MONDAYS DOING THIS
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submitted by AutoModerator to globalpromo [link] [comments]
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2024.05.16 07:39 NotMacgyver 5 Psykers walk into the warp (perils testing)
I took 5 psykers to maxed veil degradation areas to test out how bad perils are. I took one psyker of each style with the following features:
mercs, all iconoclast, imperial, no gear (except staff), all warriors, arch militant, level 48, with wildfire and their builds consisted of mostly their psyker talents and abilities.
First a preamble: Perils and phenomenons differ as follows. Phenomenons are small text and a momentum change, positive, negative, or neutral though the game says they are suppose to be bad so...
Perils is when shit happens. Can only be triggered by major powers and only at 15 or above veil degradation. Game contradicts itself a bit on if this next formula is for perils or not but here it is
(10+psy rating+ veil degradation)% with a +10% for unsanctioned psykers.
So first a list of major powers that can trigger perils (minor power in brackets for those who want to know what you can use in high veil areas safely):
out of 150+..... out of 197 (fuck you sanctic psyker not rolling rebound) perils we got:
Hopefully this helps people play psyker in max veil degradation areas. Also Sanctic psykers are a menace to society (cause of the talent that increases psy rating mostly), some powers are comically bugged (in a good way) and Sanctics refuse to roll rebound.
PS: this really should be in the game logs and "Corpus Valancius"
Also mind rupture + AM heroic gives 6 free uses of it, the ability has infinite range (though not line of sight) but it's funny to see.
Hammer of the emperor buffs untamed power so you get your face exploded
And Agility is a great stat for Psykers to avoid falling on their ass
submitted by NotMacgyver to RogueTraderCRPG [link] [comments]
mercs, all iconoclast, imperial, no gear (except staff), all warriors, arch militant, level 48, with wildfire and their builds consisted of mostly their psyker talents and abilities.
First a preamble: Perils and phenomenons differ as follows. Phenomenons are small text and a momentum change, positive, negative, or neutral though the game says they are suppose to be bad so...
Perils is when shit happens. Can only be triggered by major powers and only at 15 or above veil degradation. Game contradicts itself a bit on if this next formula is for perils or not but here it is
(10+psy rating+ veil degradation)% with a +10% for unsanctioned psykers.
So first a list of major powers that can trigger perils (minor power in brackets for those who want to know what you can use in high veil areas safely):
- Most staffs are major (telepath staff is minor, didn't test diviner staff)
- Sanctic - Hammer of the emperor / Sword of faith / Purge soul / Light of the emperor (word and shield of the emperor, sword of faith's first and second attack, 3rd and 4th don't affect veil)
- Telepath - Mind Rupture / Psychic Assault (Psychic Shriek, dominate, sensory deprivation and mind bond)
- Bio - Invigorate / Warp Speed / Metabolic Overcharge (Enfeeble, Iron arm, Regeneration)
- Diviner - Perfect timing / Foreboding / Prophetic intervention (prescience, forewarning, precognition)
- Pyro - Incinerate / Molten beam (Ignite, Inflame, Firestorm, Orchestrated flames)
out of 150+..... out of 197 (fuck you sanctic psyker not rolling rebound) perils we got:
| Peril | Descriptions | Frequency |
|---|---|---|
| Unnamed (only "Perils of the warp:" appears so it doesn't have a specific name) | Instant death and summons a daemon. Likely the "daemonic attention" peril but when the daemon fails the save but I'll register them separately | 4/197 (2%) |
| Daemonic Attention | Spawns a daemon and forces a willpower save on the daemon (49 save), never seen the daemon fail so I assume the unnamed one is the fail | 15/197 (8%) |
| Earth Protests | psy rating direct damage and prone but doesn't affect psyker | 28/197 (14%) |
| Reality Quake | AoE 11+psy rating direct damage | 8/197 (4%) |
| Rebound | psy rating damage back to caster | 19/197 (10%) |
| Untamed Power | chain lightning, always targets self first then jumps 3 times, psy rating x 2 damage, benefits from a lot of modifiers...including hammer of the emperor. | 28/197 (14%) |
| Warp Blast | AoE fire with (1+PS/2) direct damage with knock back (KB does damage as well) if not against something, and prone (agility save), doesn't hit the psyker | 37/197 (19%) |
| Warp Tremor | Psy rating direct damage and aoe prone (agility test) | 33/197 (17%) |
| Whiplash | damage to others in the area and push + prone (agility save for prone) | 25/197 (13%) |
PS: this really should be in the game logs and "Corpus Valancius"
Also mind rupture + AM heroic gives 6 free uses of it, the ability has infinite range (though not line of sight) but it's funny to see.
Hammer of the emperor buffs untamed power so you get your face exploded
And Agility is a great stat for Psykers to avoid falling on their ass
2024.05.16 07:12 Pinkmanhardmantofind Rihanna is easily one of the Greatest Artists of all time
"Greatness" when it comes to music, is discography, influence, longevity, hits, impact, Versatility
These all things Rihanna ticks boxes in, Michael Jackson ticks these boxes, as does Led Zeppelin, Beatles, Rolling Stones, Prince, Bob Marley, Queen, Pink Floyd and many more, hence making these some of Music's greatest Acts, Rihanna belongs up there
While Rihanna does not write or Produce her music, she still curiates, Michael Jackson did not play instruments or write a lot of his songs however that doesn't take away from his Artistry
https://youtu.be/n6N1_sxlBU8?si=VjyeCyuO-xG9KsM2 "We Found Love" by Rihanna (2011) one of the 2010s greatest songs with a Beautiful and Haunting EDM Instrumental, emotionally compelling narrative and Catchy hook with good Vocals
https://youtu.be/2IzNKRg5uZs?si=rRWMisrFSP1Jv084 "Man Down" (2010) a Reggae song, already showing how Versatile Rihanna is, however it's a dark song about a Young Woman taking revenge on a Man who Sexually Assaulted her, her Vocals are amazing here and this song proves her Vocal Range as she blends into Reggae so easily
https://youtu.be/pHQvdENN8GM?si=imvUQP-VBSy0Isan "SOS" (2006) an Amazing R&B hit that Samples the classic 80s hit "Tainted Love" showing Rihanna paying homage to the classics
https://youtu.be/C75J03JXz24?si=cQde35TtjryXuyTf "Dont Stop the Music" (2007) one of the Greatest Dance and Club songs of the last 20 years, where she samples Michael Jackson's "Wanna Be Startin Something" with a Futuristic and Electronic update which sounds amazing, a Classic Sensual Banger
https://youtu.be/xXD5tltX9Pg?si=bP6K2WYobO1N1m5z "Umbrella" (2007) I mean I don't have a lot to say, it's one of the most iconic Pop Songs of all time
https://youtu.be/wmGjajXDHKo?si=QOGaoK4Se0v7GlwV "Disturbia" (2007) a Horrorcore Genre song that WENT BILLBOARD NUMBER 1, what kinda Horrorcore songs goes number 1? This song displays Rihanna's influence by Michael Jackson's "Thriller" and was one of the most groundbreaking songs of the 2000s Popularising Autotune as an artistic effect
https://youtu.be/AjLD4ufmSlE?si=KgR8msbKyoQCRlg- "Shut Up & Drive" (2007) another Classic, this is one of thr greatest Pop Rock songs of the last 20 years, its a great Sensual song that is inspired by a Classic like "Whole Lotta Love" by Zeppelin, and it samples "Blue Monday" which Is a Masterpiece, Shut Up & Drive even has a hint of Grunge influence, again showing Rihanna leaving her comfort zone musically
https://youtu.be/QMP-o8WXSPM?si=WmqZlvMg7GVsJeVI "Love on the Brain" (2016) a brilliant song on Rihanna's last Album, it is influenced by 60s Soul & Blues ballads
Rihanna is one of the most Popular and influential Artists of all time, despite only having an 11 year music Career from 2005 to 2016, Rihanna has managed to become one of the top 10 highest selling Artists in history, the 2nd highest Female Artist ever behind Madonna despite Madonna having a 25 year headstart and Rihanna is creeping up in sales, she has 14 Billboard Number 1s, Beatles in comparison had 21, she's versatile, boundary pushing, has great vocal Range. I feel it's only fair she is worthy of a "Greatest Artists of all time" list
I'm not even sure if this is that unpopular IRL, most people I talk to in real life agree Rihanna is a Musical Legend, but Reddit is not Real Life, Reddit shits on anything Pop that isn't Michael Jackson lol
If I was to rate Rihanna's top 5 Albums
submitted by Pinkmanhardmantofind to TrueUnpopularOpinion [link] [comments]
These all things Rihanna ticks boxes in, Michael Jackson ticks these boxes, as does Led Zeppelin, Beatles, Rolling Stones, Prince, Bob Marley, Queen, Pink Floyd and many more, hence making these some of Music's greatest Acts, Rihanna belongs up there
While Rihanna does not write or Produce her music, she still curiates, Michael Jackson did not play instruments or write a lot of his songs however that doesn't take away from his Artistry
https://youtu.be/n6N1_sxlBU8?si=VjyeCyuO-xG9KsM2 "We Found Love" by Rihanna (2011) one of the 2010s greatest songs with a Beautiful and Haunting EDM Instrumental, emotionally compelling narrative and Catchy hook with good Vocals
https://youtu.be/2IzNKRg5uZs?si=rRWMisrFSP1Jv084 "Man Down" (2010) a Reggae song, already showing how Versatile Rihanna is, however it's a dark song about a Young Woman taking revenge on a Man who Sexually Assaulted her, her Vocals are amazing here and this song proves her Vocal Range as she blends into Reggae so easily
https://youtu.be/pHQvdENN8GM?si=imvUQP-VBSy0Isan "SOS" (2006) an Amazing R&B hit that Samples the classic 80s hit "Tainted Love" showing Rihanna paying homage to the classics
https://youtu.be/C75J03JXz24?si=cQde35TtjryXuyTf "Dont Stop the Music" (2007) one of the Greatest Dance and Club songs of the last 20 years, where she samples Michael Jackson's "Wanna Be Startin Something" with a Futuristic and Electronic update which sounds amazing, a Classic Sensual Banger
https://youtu.be/xXD5tltX9Pg?si=bP6K2WYobO1N1m5z "Umbrella" (2007) I mean I don't have a lot to say, it's one of the most iconic Pop Songs of all time
https://youtu.be/wmGjajXDHKo?si=QOGaoK4Se0v7GlwV "Disturbia" (2007) a Horrorcore Genre song that WENT BILLBOARD NUMBER 1, what kinda Horrorcore songs goes number 1? This song displays Rihanna's influence by Michael Jackson's "Thriller" and was one of the most groundbreaking songs of the 2000s Popularising Autotune as an artistic effect
https://youtu.be/AjLD4ufmSlE?si=KgR8msbKyoQCRlg- "Shut Up & Drive" (2007) another Classic, this is one of thr greatest Pop Rock songs of the last 20 years, its a great Sensual song that is inspired by a Classic like "Whole Lotta Love" by Zeppelin, and it samples "Blue Monday" which Is a Masterpiece, Shut Up & Drive even has a hint of Grunge influence, again showing Rihanna leaving her comfort zone musically
https://youtu.be/QMP-o8WXSPM?si=WmqZlvMg7GVsJeVI "Love on the Brain" (2016) a brilliant song on Rihanna's last Album, it is influenced by 60s Soul & Blues ballads
Rihanna is one of the most Popular and influential Artists of all time, despite only having an 11 year music Career from 2005 to 2016, Rihanna has managed to become one of the top 10 highest selling Artists in history, the 2nd highest Female Artist ever behind Madonna despite Madonna having a 25 year headstart and Rihanna is creeping up in sales, she has 14 Billboard Number 1s, Beatles in comparison had 21, she's versatile, boundary pushing, has great vocal Range. I feel it's only fair she is worthy of a "Greatest Artists of all time" list
I'm not even sure if this is that unpopular IRL, most people I talk to in real life agree Rihanna is a Musical Legend, but Reddit is not Real Life, Reddit shits on anything Pop that isn't Michael Jackson lol
If I was to rate Rihanna's top 5 Albums
- Good Girl Gone Bad (2007) is a 9/10
- Loud (2010) is a 9/10
- ANTI (2016) is a 8.5/10
- Rated R (2009) is a 8/10
- Talk That Talk (2011) is a 8/10
2024.05.16 06:50 AutoModerator IF YOUR NAME IS JONATHAN, YOU SHOULD SPEND YOUR MONDAYS DOING THIS
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/DdJxUSevYf0
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2024.05.16 06:22 Don138 Buffs and nerfs should be tied to Major Orders.
Like the title says, pros and cons should be tied to MOs.
Obviously the pros of MOs rn are medals and spreading managed democracy to the galaxy and the cons of not completing them are we might eventually be fighting to defend the sol system.
But humans are notoriously bad at dealing with slow, imperceptible threats (think climate change), and really great at mobilizing to address immediate issues (think the massive manufacturing spin up during WW2).
So we need some immediate incentives both positive and negative to work for on MOs.
Here is the idea:
Planets have various research facilities, manufacturing plants or resources on them, and defending them or liberating them gives associated buffs and nerfs.
Some examples I thought of just off hand:
This planet manufactures 1/2 the total CPUs for turrets, losing this would increase turret cooldown (or decrease accuracy/fire rate, etc). Then there might be a planet much closer to home that manufactures the other 50%, so if we get beaten back that far we might lose them entirely.
On the flip side another MO might be: “our scans indicate this planet has an abundance of the plant used to synthesize stims, capturing this planet will allow us to send all helldivers into battle with extra stims if we liberate multiple.
The options are endless, from losing the planet that harvests ice for energy weapons and thus losing them entirely, to capturing an automaton planet with weapon factories that increases projectile weapon dmg by X%.
Pros of this idea: -Gets players really pushing MOs
-Gets players engaging with the lore and galactic war because it has an immediate effect on them. Helping keep the community thriving.
-Might encourage players who have completed warbonds and capped medals to work on MOs which benefits new players again keeping the community alive.
-Will serve as a “meta breaker” and encourage more play styles as weapons/strategems get buffed or added or nerfed or removed.
-Can provide an ingame/lore justification to patches
Cons:
-Player toolkit needs to be somewhat balanced, because you can’t have a weapon removed if there are no other viable options.
-More work for Joel
-Behind the scenes game/coding/engine/dev stuff I have no idea about
How cool would this be!? Imagine if next weeks MO was “The Tenderizer sucks because the alloys needed for the barrel are from Hellmire and to account for poorer barrel strength the powder charge was reduced. If we can Liberate it the Tenderizers dmg will go up to its original specifications of 75”
I’m newer to the game so tell me what you think, any pros and cons I missed or ideas for what the benefits and penalties could be!
submitted by Don138 to Helldivers [link] [comments]
Obviously the pros of MOs rn are medals and spreading managed democracy to the galaxy and the cons of not completing them are we might eventually be fighting to defend the sol system.
But humans are notoriously bad at dealing with slow, imperceptible threats (think climate change), and really great at mobilizing to address immediate issues (think the massive manufacturing spin up during WW2).
So we need some immediate incentives both positive and negative to work for on MOs.
Here is the idea:
Planets have various research facilities, manufacturing plants or resources on them, and defending them or liberating them gives associated buffs and nerfs.
Some examples I thought of just off hand:
This planet manufactures 1/2 the total CPUs for turrets, losing this would increase turret cooldown (or decrease accuracy/fire rate, etc). Then there might be a planet much closer to home that manufactures the other 50%, so if we get beaten back that far we might lose them entirely.
On the flip side another MO might be: “our scans indicate this planet has an abundance of the plant used to synthesize stims, capturing this planet will allow us to send all helldivers into battle with extra stims if we liberate multiple.
The options are endless, from losing the planet that harvests ice for energy weapons and thus losing them entirely, to capturing an automaton planet with weapon factories that increases projectile weapon dmg by X%.
Pros of this idea: -Gets players really pushing MOs
-Gets players engaging with the lore and galactic war because it has an immediate effect on them. Helping keep the community thriving.
-Might encourage players who have completed warbonds and capped medals to work on MOs which benefits new players again keeping the community alive.
-Will serve as a “meta breaker” and encourage more play styles as weapons/strategems get buffed or added or nerfed or removed.
-Can provide an ingame/lore justification to patches
Cons:
-Player toolkit needs to be somewhat balanced, because you can’t have a weapon removed if there are no other viable options.
-More work for Joel
-Behind the scenes game/coding/engine/dev stuff I have no idea about
How cool would this be!? Imagine if next weeks MO was “The Tenderizer sucks because the alloys needed for the barrel are from Hellmire and to account for poorer barrel strength the powder charge was reduced. If we can Liberate it the Tenderizers dmg will go up to its original specifications of 75”
I’m newer to the game so tell me what you think, any pros and cons I missed or ideas for what the benefits and penalties could be!
2024.05.16 06:10 Any-Measurement-1717 Why are we allowing foreigners to have the ability to work here when we have unemployment that is on the rise? When will people care; when Canadian unemployment hits 8%, 10%? 12%?
Media coverage in 2013-2014 documented reported of employer program misuse, including by Tim Hortons and McDonald’s franchises in areas with high unemployment rates. The federal government’s response in 2014 to this controversy was twofold. First, it curtailed growth by imposing a fee on the labour market impact assessments businesses are required to undergo to ensure adequate efforts have been made to fill jobs domestically. It also limited the share of temporary foreign workers to 10 per cent of employers’ workforces, and it restricted hiring of temporary foreign workers in areas where the local unemployment rate exceeded six per cent.
We need to bring back TFWs to be max 10% of any employer. This WILL drive wages up for Canadians. For every hundred thousand migrants we let in we supression Canadian wages by 3-4%. https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/89-001-x/89-001-x2007001-eng.pdf
submitted by Any-Measurement-1717 to BoycottTimHortons [link] [comments]
We need to bring back TFWs to be max 10% of any employer. This WILL drive wages up for Canadians. For every hundred thousand migrants we let in we supression Canadian wages by 3-4%. https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/89-001-x/89-001-x2007001-eng.pdf
2024.05.16 06:05 codesamura1 SD is being stingy with the Series Drops
The recent series drop announcement does not even begin to make a quarter of the current S5 cards available as S4 token purchases. Here are some points I would like to highlight.
submitted by codesamura1 to MarvelSnap [link] [comments]
- After the drop January there were 23 cards in Series 5
- since then up to now there have been 23 more Series cards added to the game.
- Right now there are 46 series 5 cards in the game
- By June 4th before the series drop there will be 49 series 5 cards.
- After the series drop there will be 42 cards in Series 5.
- The time the next Series drop hits there will be 64 cards in series 5, assuming that the next drop will be in January
- When the next drop hits June next year there will be 90 cards in series 5, assuming the same 7 card drops from S5.
- At this rate by December Next year there will be 109 cards in Series 5, that would be around the same number of cards in Series 3.
- That would take spotlight rotation more than a year to cycle cards, however with constantly repeating cards like Galactus, Knull, High Evo, Thanos, X-23 that likely won't happen and some cards in S5 might never get repeated again after their first repeat.
2024.05.16 06:01 Bochai127 $29.99 -23% Extra Large Picnic Outdoor Blanket, 80''x80'' Waterproof Foldable Blankets Gingham Picnic Mat for Beach, Camping Grass Lawn Park Accessories Cute Couples Gift Ideas Wedding Registry (Green White)
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2024.05.16 05:55 Alternative_Mail5075 Company over paid now what’s a contract
My company back in January 1 switched to a new payroll company and switched to weekly pay from bi weekly pay. Long story short it was a disaster people didn’t get paid or even one person got paid 2.2 million dollars. They decided to take our best 3 months, average it out then pay us with what they call disaster pay. For 3 pay days. We are a flat rate mechanic shop and in December January are usually the slowest months so no one met their average pay and we got overpaid. As of today we are now being asked to sign a contract for a retention bonus agreement. It basically says we got overpaid X amount and are indebt to the company for us not to have to owe the money back we have to stay till the end of this year. If we get fired or quiet we will owe the money back by garnishment or other legal action. What’s interesting is it doesn’t say what happens if we don’t sign the agreement so I haven’t signed it.
Does a company have the legal right to basically entrap me to stay by saying the over pay is a retention bonus even though I never agreed to have a bonus?
Apart of me what’s to pay back the money so they can’t hold something like this over my head. This was their f up and now I have to deal with it.
submitted by Alternative_Mail5075 to legaladvice [link] [comments]
Does a company have the legal right to basically entrap me to stay by saying the over pay is a retention bonus even though I never agreed to have a bonus?
Apart of me what’s to pay back the money so they can’t hold something like this over my head. This was their f up and now I have to deal with it.
2024.05.16 05:52 ianonymouz [WTS] XS-M, 29-32, 8.5-9.5 18 East, 3sixteen, Grant Stone, Portuguese Flannel & more
Prices are net to me. $10 flat rate shipping within the US
XS
submitted by ianonymouz to MaleFashionMarket [link] [comments]
XS
- Uniqlo light blue gingham SS shirt XS $5: https://imgur.com/a/jf0UkPo
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submitted by AutoModerator to globalpromo [link] [comments]
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2024.05.16 05:42 City_Index Bitcoin bounces in style as Wall Street hits new highs. May 16, 2024
 | On Tuesday I outlined a bullish case for bitcoin futures whilst prices remained above $60k. One soft US CPI and retail sales report later, bullish range expansion has most certainly kicked in. submitted by City_Index to u/City_Index [link] [comments] By : Matt Simpson, Market Analyst On Tuesday I outlined a bullish case for bitcoin futures whilst prices remained above $60k. One soft US CPI and retail sales report later, I’m pleased to see that bullish range expansion kicked in on Wednesday. And as bitcoin’s performance is now closely tied to stock market indices, it is no coincident that the crypto currency rallied on the day Wall Street and the Dax reached record highs. Market performance on Wednesday, May 16th
https://preview.redd.it/kqf3wbgdkp0d1.png?width=976&format=png&auto=webp&s=b4c4cc13d3cd1ee5a7b0c3c3c436621646f4f972 Ultimately, weaker US data equates to assumption of Fed cuts and therefore ‘easier money’, which in turn boosts appetite for risk. Yet the data cannot come in too soft, as the US needs to achieve lower inflation alongside stable growth for risk to rally on the ‘soft landing scenario’. And as traders are favouring softer US data over strong, it may not take much weakness in today’s second-tier data from the US for markets to extend Wednesday’s moves into the weekend. Looking through the calendar, there are plenty of data points and Fed speakers to keep traders on their toes. The ideal scenario for USD bears would be to see jobless claims edge higher whilst industrial production, Philly Fed manufacturing and housing data edge lower. The icing on the cake would be slightly dovish comments from Fed members Harker, Mester or Bostic with a slightly softer GDPnow thrown in for good measure. But if incoming data allows and sends the US dollar is lower, there is a reasonable chance we could expect an extension of Wednesday’s moves to send indices higher, alongside bitcoin and gold. However, as noted in this morning's report, the US dollar is near several decent support levels and other key markets like gold and bitcoin are near resistance. In which case, perhaps we may need to be on guard for a retracement on these markets before momentum resumes in Wednesday’s direction. Click the website link below to get our exclusive Guide to bitcoin trading in Q2 2024. https://www.cityindex.com/en-au/market-outlooks-2024/q2-bitcoin-outlook/ https://preview.redd.it/huu3r7wikp0d1.png?width=1000&format=png&auto=webp&s=68d039516376dcdb3e3d8f247af42aed740a9660 Bitcoin technical analysis:The daily chart shows that strong trading volumes accompanied Wednesday’s rally, which marked its best day in two months. The daily high stalled a fraction beneath the high-volume node flagged on Tuesday, so the question now is whether bitcoin has the bullish backing to simply continue higher form current levels.The 4-hour chart shows that the RSI (2) has reached overbought, and a small bearish pinbar has formed to show bullish momentum is slowing. From here, I’d prefer to see a retracement lower and would consider seeking bullish setups above or around the 200-bar average, near the prior swing high. The bias is for an eventual breakout above these cycle highs and for it to at least head for 70k, a break above which brings 72k into focus. https://preview.redd.it/tzne5xumkp0d1.png?width=1565&format=png&auto=webp&s=ffd9e26ca90a2bdf0d95ef30e4b6d5a9096ce4d7 Wall street indices:I have mentioned in previous COT reports that asset managers remained net-long indices, and that their recent flip to net-short exposure VIX futures was another vote of confidence for the stock market in general. Yet as net-long exposure to Dow Jones futures was relatively low, it comes as no surprise to see the index as the laggard of Wall Street’s three main indices; the S&P 500 and Nasdaq 100 made easy work of a new record high whereas the Down Jones barely scraped a close above the previous record high.Still, the trends are undeniably bullish. And unless we see US data tank at a scary rate, it seems the path of least resistance for US stocks is higher from here. And with the S&P 500 and Nasdaq comfortably clearing their prior record highs, any dips towards their breakout levels are likely to be favoured by bulls for another crack at yet a new high. https://preview.redd.it/acaapkzpkp0d1.png?width=1568&format=png&auto=webp&s=d244ed4e06e7d9a52be402c4f1e58621fa5759a5 -- Written by Matt Simpson Follow Matt on Twitter @cLeverEdge https://www.cityindex.com/en-au/news-and-analysis/bitcoin-bounces-in-style-as-wall-street-hits-new-highs/ From time to time, StoneX Financial Pty Ltd (“we”, “our”) website may contain links to other sites and/or resources provided by third parties. These links and/or resources are provided for your information only and we have no control over the contents of those materials, and in no way endorse their content. Any analysis, opinion, commentary or research-based material on our website is for information and educational purposes only and is not, in any circumstances, intended to be an offer, recommendation or solicitation to buy or sell. You should always seek independent advice as to your suitability to speculate in any related markets and your ability to assume the associated risks, if you are at all unsure. No representation or warranty is made, express or implied, that the materials on our website are complete or accurate. We are not under any obligation to update any such material. As such, we (and/or our associated companies) will not be responsible or liable for any loss or damage incurred by you or any third party arising out of, or in connection with, any use of the information on our website (other than with regards to any duty or liability that we are unable to limit or exclude by law or under the applicable regulatory system) and any such liability is hereby expressly disclaimed. |
2024.05.16 05:24 lpernites2 Encountered two tampered taxi meters (rant)
Grabe twice in a day, I am a frequent taxi commuter mao maka bantay ko naa'y something off sa taxi meter. (The only thing stopping me from buying a car is I don't go out too often).
Pag padung sa akong destination nakabantay ko ang rate niya dili mao kay ako gi compute ang per kilometer og per hour, dili jud sakto ang rate (Flag down @ P40.00 + time x time rate @ P2.00/min + distance x distance rate @ P13.50/km). Ako gi contest, ni hatag rapud og estimated fare ang taxi driver. Pag padung uli, nakabantay ko ang oras paspas kaayo ang dagan. Nibiya ko at 2:00 PM then pag abot at 2:35 ang oras naabot na'g 62 mins. Ako na pud gi contest, wa rasad nakiglalis ang taxi driver. Iya gi videohan para ipakita sa operator nga di mao ang oras.
This is alarming kay tanga-tanga raba ta usahay. Already reported this to the LTFRB.
submitted by lpernites2 to Cebu [link] [comments]
Pag padung sa akong destination nakabantay ko ang rate niya dili mao kay ako gi compute ang per kilometer og per hour, dili jud sakto ang rate (Flag down @ P40.00 + time x time rate @ P2.00/min + distance x distance rate @ P13.50/km). Ako gi contest, ni hatag rapud og estimated fare ang taxi driver. Pag padung uli, nakabantay ko ang oras paspas kaayo ang dagan. Nibiya ko at 2:00 PM then pag abot at 2:35 ang oras naabot na'g 62 mins. Ako na pud gi contest, wa rasad nakiglalis ang taxi driver. Iya gi videohan para ipakita sa operator nga di mao ang oras.
This is alarming kay tanga-tanga raba ta usahay. Already reported this to the LTFRB.
2024.05.16 05:15 shytoucan how to tell if i can record bass in 96 kHz?
sorry if this is a total noob question. i know my interface (motu M2) can record in 96 kHz. is there a way to set sample rate in logic pro x preferences or anywhere else as i record a bass track?
submitted by shytoucan to Logic_Studio [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 05:13 BiggNickTR Advice on upgrading my monitor - 1440p
Hey all! I currently have a Samsung C34H890WJN (https://www.samsung.com/us/business/support/owners/product/ch890-series-c34h890wjn/) monitor that I've been looking to possibly upgrade for my gaming/light productivity system
Specs of CH890:
34" VA panel (LCD Ultra WQHD), 21:9, 3440 x 1440, 300cd/m2 nits, 3,000:1 contrast, 16.7m colors, AMD FreeSync, 100Hz refresh, 4ms response time, 1800R curved.
I noticed a good deal on a Deco Gear DGVIEW 390 (https://www.decogear.com/products/deco-gear-39-curved-gaming-monitor) and was wondering what the forum though on it being a worthy upgrade or not.
Specs of DGView 390:
39" VA panel (ELED Ultra WQHD), 16:9, 2560 x 1440, 350cd/m2 nits, 4,000:1 contrast, 16.7m colors, Adaptive sync (VRR), 165Hz DP (144Hz HDMI), 1ms response time, 3000R curved, HDR400.
My system is:
Ryzen 5 5600x (might upgrade to a 5800x3D or 7800x3D soon)
32GB DDR4 3600Mhz
Gigabyte Gaming OC 3090
NVME, blah blah etc.
Mostly game with FPS and Survival building/sim games (Ready or Not, Tarkov, Icarus, etc).
Currently my games are limited to the 100Hz, so I was interested in getting something a bit better. This would provide a much better refresh rate, larger screen, and better response time/contrast ratio, and some form of HDR. The aspect ratio would be different however along with the curvature.
I could pretty much get an even trade with the deal that I found, which is the only reason I was considering (not having to come out of pocket).
Thoughts? Help!
submitted by BiggNickTR to buildapcmonitors [link] [comments]
Specs of CH890:
34" VA panel (LCD Ultra WQHD), 21:9, 3440 x 1440, 300cd/m2 nits, 3,000:1 contrast, 16.7m colors, AMD FreeSync, 100Hz refresh, 4ms response time, 1800R curved.
I noticed a good deal on a Deco Gear DGVIEW 390 (https://www.decogear.com/products/deco-gear-39-curved-gaming-monitor) and was wondering what the forum though on it being a worthy upgrade or not.
Specs of DGView 390:
39" VA panel (ELED Ultra WQHD), 16:9, 2560 x 1440, 350cd/m2 nits, 4,000:1 contrast, 16.7m colors, Adaptive sync (VRR), 165Hz DP (144Hz HDMI), 1ms response time, 3000R curved, HDR400.
My system is:
Ryzen 5 5600x (might upgrade to a 5800x3D or 7800x3D soon)
32GB DDR4 3600Mhz
Gigabyte Gaming OC 3090
NVME, blah blah etc.
Mostly game with FPS and Survival building/sim games (Ready or Not, Tarkov, Icarus, etc).
Currently my games are limited to the 100Hz, so I was interested in getting something a bit better. This would provide a much better refresh rate, larger screen, and better response time/contrast ratio, and some form of HDR. The aspect ratio would be different however along with the curvature.
I could pretty much get an even trade with the deal that I found, which is the only reason I was considering (not having to come out of pocket).
Thoughts? Help!
2024.05.16 05:04 MirkWorks Excerpt from The Culture of Narcissism by Christopher Lasch (The Narcissistic Personality of Our Time Continuation)
II. The Narcissistic Personality of Our Time
...
Social Influences on Narcissism
Every age develops its own peculiar forms of pathology, which express in exaggerated form its underlying character structure. In Freud’s time, hysteria and obsessional neurosis carried to extremes the personality traits associated with the capitalist order at an earlier stage in its development - acquisitiveness, fanatical devotion to work, and a fierce repression of sexuality. In our time, the preschizophrenic, borderline, or personality disorders have attracted increasing attention, along with schizophrenia itself. This “change in the form of neuroses has been observed and described since World War II by an ever-increasing number of psychiatrists.” According to Peter L. Giovacchini, “Clinicians are constantly faced with the seemingly increasing number of patients who do not fit current diagnostic categories” and who suffer not from “definitive symptoms” but from “vague, ill-defined complaints.” “When I refer to ‘this type of patient,’” he writes, “practically everyone knows to whom I am referring.” The growing prominence of “character disorders” seems to signify an underlying change in the organization of personality, from what has been called inner-direction to narcissism.
Allen Wheelis argued in 1958 that the change in the “patterns of neuroses” fell “within the personal experience of older psychoanalysts,” while younger ones “become aware of it from the discrepancy between the older descriptions of neuroses and the problems presented by the patients who come daily to their offices. The change is from symptom neuroses to character disorders.” Heinz Lichtenstein, who questioned the additional assertion that it reflected a change in personality structure, nevertheless wrote in 1963 that the “change in neurotic patterns” already constituted a “well-known fact.” In the seventies, such reports have become increasingly common. “It is not accident,” Herbert Hendin notes, “that at the present time the dominant events in psychoanalysis are the rediscovery of narcissism and the new emphasis on the psychological significance of death.” “What hysteria and the obsessive neuroses were to Freud and his early colleagues…at the beginning of this century,” writes Michael Beldoch, “the narcissistic disorders are to the workaday analyst in these last few decades before the next millennium. Today’s patients by and large do not suffer from hysterical paralyses of the legs or hand-washing compulsions; instead it is their very psychic selves that have gone numb or that they must scrub and rescrub in an exhausting and unending effort to come clean.” These patients suffer from “pervasive feelings of emptiness and a deep disturbance of self-esteem.” Burness E. Moore notes that narcissistic disorders have become more and more common. According to Sheldon Bach, “You used to see people coming in with hand-washing compulsions, phobias, and familiar neuroses. Now you see mostly narcissists.” Gilbert J. Rose maintains that the psychoanalytic outlook, “inappropriately transplanted from analytic practice” to everyday life, has contributed to “global permissiveness” and the “over-domestication of instinct,” which in turn contributes to the proliferation of “narcissistic identity disorders.” According to Joel Kovel, the stimulation of infantile cravings by advertising, the usurpation of parental authority by the media and the school, and the rationalization of inner life accompanied by the false promise of personal fulfillment, have created a new type of “social individual.” “The result is not the classical neuroses where an infantile impulse is suppressed by patriarchal authority, but a modern version in which impulse is stimulated, perverted and given neither an adequate object upon which to satisfy itself nor coherent forms of control…. The entire complex, played out in a setting of alienation rather than direct control, loses the classical form of symptom - and the classical therapeutic opportunity of simply restoring an impulse to consciousness.”
The reported increase in the number of narcissistic patients does not necessarily indicate that narcissistic disorders are more common than they used to be, in the population as a whole, or that they have become more common than the classical conversion neurosis. Perhaps they simply come more quickly to psychiatric attention. Ilza Veith contends that “with the increasing awareness of conversion reactions and the popularization of psychiatric literature, the ‘old-fashioned’ somatic expressions of hysteria have become suspect among the more sophisticated classes, and hence most physicians observe that obvious conversion symptoms are now rarely encountered and, if at all, only among the uneducated.” The attention given to character disorders in recent clinical literature probably makes psychiatrists more alert to their presence. But this possibility by no means diminishes the importance of psychiatric testimony about the prevalence of narcissism, especially when this testimony appears at the same time that journalists begin to speculate about the new narcissism and the unhealthy trend toward self-absorption. The narcissist comes to the attention of psychiatrists for some of the same reasons that he rises to positions of prominence not only in awareness movements and other cults but in business corporations, political organizations, and government bureaucracies. For all his inner suffering, the narcissist has many traits that make for success in bureaucratic institutions, which put a premium on the manipulation of interpersonal relations, discourage the formation of deep personal attachments, and at the same time provide the narcissist with the approval he needs in order to validate his self-esteem. Although he may resort to therapies that promise to give meaning to life and to overcome his sense of emptiness, in his professional career the narcissist often enjoys considerable success. The management of personal impressions comes naturally to him, and his mastery of its intricacies serves him well in political and business organizations where performance now counts for less than “visibility,” “momentum,” and a winning record. As the “organization man” gives way to the bureaucratic “gamesman” - the “loyalty era” of American business to the age of the “executive success game” - the narcissist comes into his own.
In a study of 250 managers from twelve major companies, Michael Maccoby describes the new corporate leader, not altogether unsympathetically, as a person who works with people rather than with materials and who seeks not to build an empire or accumulate wealth but to experience “the exhilaration of running his team and of gaining victories.” He wants to “be known as a winner, and his deepest fear is to be labeled a loser.” Instead of pitting himself against a material task or a problem demanding solution, he puts himself against others, out of a “need to be in control.” As a recent textbook for managers puts it, success today means “not simply getting ahead” but “getting ahead of others.” The new executive, boyish, playful, and “seductive,” wants in Maccoby’s words “to maintain an illusion of limitless options.” He has little capacity for “personal intimacy and social commitment.” He feels little loyalty even to the company for which he works. One executive says he experiences power “as not being pushed around by the company.” In his upward climb, this man cultivates powerful customers and attempts to use them against his own company. “You need a very big customer,” according to his calculations, “who is always in trouble and demands changes from the company. That way you automatically have power in the company, and with the customer too. I like to keep my options open.” A professor of management endorses this strategy. “Overidentification” with the company, in his view, “produces a corporation with enormous power over the careers and destinies of its true believers.” The bigger the company, the more important he thinks it is for executes “to manage their careers in terms of their own…free choices” and to “maintain the widest set of options possible.”
According to Maccoby, the gamesman “is open to new ideas, but he lacks convictions.” He will do business with any regime, even if he disapproves of its principles. More independent and resourceful than the company man, he tries to use the company for his own ends, fearing that otherwise he will be “totally emasculated by the corporation.” He avoids intimacy as a trap, preferring the “exciting, sexy atmosphere” with which the modern executive surrounds himself at work, “where adoring, mini-skirted secretaries constantly flirt with him.” In all his personal relations, the gamesman depends on the admiration or fear he inspires in others to certify his credentials as a “winner.” As he gets older, he finds it more and more difficult to command the kind of attention on which he thrives. He reaches a plateau beyond which he does not advance in his job, perhaps because the very highest positions, as Maccoby notes, still go to “those able to renounce adolescent rebelliousness and become at least to some extent believers in the organization.” The job begins to lose its savor. Having little interest in craftsmanship, the new-style executive takes no pleasure in his achievements once he begins to lose the adolescent charm on which they rest. Middle age hits him with the force of a disaster: “Once his youth, vigor, and even the thrill in winning are lost, he becomes depressed and goalless, questioning the purpose of his life. No longer energized by the team struggle and unable to dedicate himself to something he believes in beyond himself, … he finds himself starkly alone.” It is not surprising, given the prevalence of this career pattern, that popular psychology returns so often to the “midlife crisis” and to ways of combating it.
In Wilfrid Sheed’s novel Office Politics, a wife asks, “There are real issues, aren’t there, between Mr. Fine and Mr. Tyler?” Her husband answers that the issues are trivial; “the jockeying of ego is the real story.” Eugene Emerson Jennings’s study of management, which celebrates the demise of the organization man and the advent of the new “era of mobility,” insists that corporate “mobility is more than mere job performance.” What counts is “style…panache…the ability to say and do almost anything without antagonizing others.” The upwardly mobile executive, according to Jennings, knows how to handle the people around him - the “shelf-sitter” who suffers from “arrested mobility” and envies success; the “fast learner”; the “mobile superior.” The “mobility-bright executive” has learned to “read” the power relations in his office and “to see the less visible and less audible side of his superiors, chiefly their standing with their peers and superiors.” He “Can infer from a minimum of cues who are the centers of power, and he seeks to have high visibility and exposure with them. He will assiduously cultivate his standing and opportunities with them and seize every opportunity to learn from them. He will utilize his opportunities in social world to size up the men who are centers of sponsorship in the corporate world.”
Constantly comparing the “executive success game” to an athletic contest or a game of chess, Jennings treats the substance of executive life as if it were just as arbitrarily and irrelevant to success as the task of kicking a ball through a net or of moving pieces over a chessboard. He never mentions the social and economic repercussions of managerial decisions or the power that managers exercise over society as a whole. For the corporate manager on the make, power consists not of money and influence but of “momentum,” a “winning image,” a reputation as a winner. Power lies in the eye of the beholder and thus has no objective reference at all.
The manager’s view of the world, as described by Jennings, Maccoby, and by the managers themselves, is that of the narcissist, who sees the world as a mirror of himself and has no interest in external events except as they throw back a reflection of his own image. The dense interpersonal environment of modern bureaucracy, in which work assumes an abstract quality almost wholly divorced from performance, by its very nature elicits and often rewards a narcissistic response. Bureaucracy, however, is only one of a number of social influences that are bringing a narcissistic type of personality organization into greater and greater prominence. Another such influence is the mechanical reproduction of culture, the proliferation of visual and audial images in the “society of the spectacle.” We live in a swirl of images and echoes that arrest experience and play it back in slow motion. Cameras and recording machines not only transcribe experience but alter its quality, giving to much of modern life that character of an enormous echo chamber, a hall of mirrors. Life presents itself as a succession of images of electronic signals, of impressions recorded and reproduced by means of photography, motion pictures, television, and sophisticated recording devices. Modern life is thoroughly mediated by electronic images that we cannot help responding to others as if their actions - and our own - were being recorded and simultaneously transmitted to an unseen audience or stored up for close scrutiny at some later time. “Smile, you’re on candid camera!” The intrusion into everyday life of this all-seeing eye no longer takes us by surprise or catches us with our defenses down. We need no reminder to smile. A smile is permanently graven on our features, and we already known from which of several angles its photographs to best advantage.
The proliferation of recorded images undermines our sense of reality. As Susan Sontag observes in her study of photography, “Reality has come to seem more and more like what we are shown by cameras.” We distrust our perceptions until the camera verifies them. Photographic images provide us with the proof of our existence, without which we would find it difficult even to reconstruct a personal history. Bourgeois families in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, Sontag points out, posed for portraits in order to proclaim the family’s status, whereas today the family album of photographs verifies the individual’s existence: its documentary record of his development from infancy onward provides him with the only evidence of his life that he recognizes as altogether valid. Among the “many narcissistic uses” that Sontag attributes to the camera, “self-surveillance” ranks among the most important, not only because it provides the technical means of ceaseless self-scrutiny but because it renders the sense of selfhood dependent on the consumption of images of the self, at the same time calling into question the reality of the external world.
By preserving images of the self at various stages of development, the camera helps to weaken the older idea of development as moral education and to promote a more passive idea according to which development consists of passing through the stages of life at the right time and in the right order. Current fascination with the life cycle embodies an awareness that success in politics or business depends on reaching certain goals on schedule; but it also reflects the ease with which developments can be electronically recorded. This brings us to another cultural change that elicits a widespread narcissistic response and, in this case, gives it a philosophical sanction: the emergence of a therapeutic ideology that upholds a normative schedule of psychosocial development and thus gives further encouragement to anxious self-scrutiny. The idea of normative development creates the fear that any deviation from the norm has a pathological source. Doctors have made a cult of periodic checkup - an investigation carried out once again by means of cameras and other recording instruments - and have implanted in their clients the notion that health depends on eternal watchfulness and the early detection of symptoms, as verified by medical technology. The client no longer feels physically or psychologically secure until his X-rays confirm a “clean bill of health.”
Medicine and psychiatry - more generally, the therapeutic outlook and sensibility that pervade modern society - reinforce the pattern created by other cultural influences, in which the individual endlessly examines himself for signs of aging and ill health, for tell-tale symptoms of psychic stress, for blemishes and flaws that might diminish his attractiveness, or on the other hand for reassuring indications that his life is proceeding according to schedule. Modern medicine has conquered the plagues and epidemics that once made life so precarious, only to create new forms of insecurity. In the same way, bureaucracy has made life predictable and even boring while reviving, in a new form, the war of all against all. Our overorganized society, in which large-scale organizations predominate but have lost the capacity to command allegiance, in some respects more nearly approximates a condition of universal animosity than did the primitive capitalism on which Hobbes managed his state of nature. Social conditions today encourage a survival mentality, expressed in its crudest form in disaster movies or in fantasies of space travel, which allow vicarious escape from a doomed planet. People no longer dream of overcoming difficulties but merely of surviving them. In business, according to Jennings, “The struggle is to survive emotionally” -to “preserve or enhance one’s identity or ego.” The normative concept of developmental stages promotes a view of life as an obstacle course: the aim is simply to get through the course with a minimum of trouble and pain. The ability to manipulate what Gail Sheehy refers to, using a medical metaphor, as “life-support systems” now appears to represent the highest form of wisdom: the knowledge that gets us through, as she puts it, without panic. Those who master Sheehy’s “no-panic approach to aging” and to the traumas of the life cycle will be able to say, in the words of one of her subjects, “I know I can survive… I don’t panic any more.” This is hardly an exalted form of satisfaction, however. “The current ideology,” Sheehy writes, “seems a mix of personal survivalism, revivalism, and cynicism”; yet her enormously popular guide to the “predictable crises of adult life,” with its superficially optimistic hymn to growth, development, and “self-actualization,” does not challenge this ideology, merely restates it in more “humanistic” form. “Growth” has become a euphemism for survival.
The World View of the Resigned
New social forms require new forms of personality, new modes of socialization, new ways of organizing experience. The concept of narcissism provides us not with a ready-made psychological determinism but with a way of understanding the psychological impact of recent social changes - assuming that we bear in mind not only its clinical origins but the continuum between pathology and normality. It provides us, in other words, with a tolerably accurate portrait of the “liberated” personality of our time, with his charm, his pseudo-awareness of his own condition, his promiscuous pansexuality, his fascination with oral sex, his fear of the castrating mother (Mrs. Portnoy), his hypochondria, his protective shallowness, his avoidance of dependence, his inability to mourn, his dread of old age and death.
Narcissism appears realistically to represent the best way of coping with the tensions and anxieties of modern life, and the prevailing social conditions therefore tend to bring out narcissistic traits that are present, in varying degrees, in everyone. These condition have also transformed the family, which in turn shapes the underlying structure of personality. A society that dears it has no future is not likely to give much attention to the needs of the next generation, and the ever-present sense of historical discontinuity - the blight of our society - falls with particularly devastating effect on the family. The modern parent’s attempt to make children feel loved and wanted does not conceal an underlying coolness - the remoteness of those who have little to pass on the next generation and who in any case give priority to their own right to self-fulfillment. The combination of emotional detachment with attempts to convince a child of his favored position in the family is a good prescription for a narcissistic personality structure.
Through the intermediary of the family, social patterns reproduce themselves in personality. Social arrangements live on in the individual, buried in the mind below the level of consciousness, even after they have become objectively undesirable and unnecessary - as many of our present arrangements are now widely acknowledged to have become. The perception of the world as a dangerous and forbidding place, though it originates in a realistic awareness of the insecurity of contemporary social life, receives reinforcement from the narcissistic projection of aggressive impulses outward. The belief that society has no future, while it rests on a certain realism about the dangers ahead, also incorporates a narcissistic inability to identify with posterity or to feel one self part of a historical stream.
The weakening of social ties, which originates in the prevailing state of social warfare, at the same time reflects a narcissistic defense against dependence. A warlike society tends to produce men and women who are at heart antisocial. It should therefore not surprise us to find that although the narcissist conforms to social norms for fear of external retribution, he often thinks of himself as an outlaw and sees others in the same way, “as basically dishonest and unreliable, or only reliable because of external pressures.” “The value systems of narcissistic personalities are generally corruptible,” writes Kernberg, “in contrast to the rigid morality of the obsessive personality.”
The ethic of self-preservation and psychic survival is rooted, then, not merely in objective conditions of economic warfare, rising rates of crime, and social chaos but in the subjective experience of emptiness and isolation. It reflects the conviction - as much a projection of inner anxieties as a perception of the way things are - that envy and exploitation dominate even the most intimate relations. The cult of personal relations, which becomes increasingly intense as the hope of political solutions recedes, conceals a thoroughgoing disenchantment with personal relations, just as the cult of sensuality implies a repudiation of sensuality in all but its most primitive forms. The ideology of personal growth, superficially optimistic, radiates a profound despair and resignation. It is the faith of those without faith.
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Social Influences on Narcissism
Every age develops its own peculiar forms of pathology, which express in exaggerated form its underlying character structure. In Freud’s time, hysteria and obsessional neurosis carried to extremes the personality traits associated with the capitalist order at an earlier stage in its development - acquisitiveness, fanatical devotion to work, and a fierce repression of sexuality. In our time, the preschizophrenic, borderline, or personality disorders have attracted increasing attention, along with schizophrenia itself. This “change in the form of neuroses has been observed and described since World War II by an ever-increasing number of psychiatrists.” According to Peter L. Giovacchini, “Clinicians are constantly faced with the seemingly increasing number of patients who do not fit current diagnostic categories” and who suffer not from “definitive symptoms” but from “vague, ill-defined complaints.” “When I refer to ‘this type of patient,’” he writes, “practically everyone knows to whom I am referring.” The growing prominence of “character disorders” seems to signify an underlying change in the organization of personality, from what has been called inner-direction to narcissism.
Allen Wheelis argued in 1958 that the change in the “patterns of neuroses” fell “within the personal experience of older psychoanalysts,” while younger ones “become aware of it from the discrepancy between the older descriptions of neuroses and the problems presented by the patients who come daily to their offices. The change is from symptom neuroses to character disorders.” Heinz Lichtenstein, who questioned the additional assertion that it reflected a change in personality structure, nevertheless wrote in 1963 that the “change in neurotic patterns” already constituted a “well-known fact.” In the seventies, such reports have become increasingly common. “It is not accident,” Herbert Hendin notes, “that at the present time the dominant events in psychoanalysis are the rediscovery of narcissism and the new emphasis on the psychological significance of death.” “What hysteria and the obsessive neuroses were to Freud and his early colleagues…at the beginning of this century,” writes Michael Beldoch, “the narcissistic disorders are to the workaday analyst in these last few decades before the next millennium. Today’s patients by and large do not suffer from hysterical paralyses of the legs or hand-washing compulsions; instead it is their very psychic selves that have gone numb or that they must scrub and rescrub in an exhausting and unending effort to come clean.” These patients suffer from “pervasive feelings of emptiness and a deep disturbance of self-esteem.” Burness E. Moore notes that narcissistic disorders have become more and more common. According to Sheldon Bach, “You used to see people coming in with hand-washing compulsions, phobias, and familiar neuroses. Now you see mostly narcissists.” Gilbert J. Rose maintains that the psychoanalytic outlook, “inappropriately transplanted from analytic practice” to everyday life, has contributed to “global permissiveness” and the “over-domestication of instinct,” which in turn contributes to the proliferation of “narcissistic identity disorders.” According to Joel Kovel, the stimulation of infantile cravings by advertising, the usurpation of parental authority by the media and the school, and the rationalization of inner life accompanied by the false promise of personal fulfillment, have created a new type of “social individual.” “The result is not the classical neuroses where an infantile impulse is suppressed by patriarchal authority, but a modern version in which impulse is stimulated, perverted and given neither an adequate object upon which to satisfy itself nor coherent forms of control…. The entire complex, played out in a setting of alienation rather than direct control, loses the classical form of symptom - and the classical therapeutic opportunity of simply restoring an impulse to consciousness.”
The reported increase in the number of narcissistic patients does not necessarily indicate that narcissistic disorders are more common than they used to be, in the population as a whole, or that they have become more common than the classical conversion neurosis. Perhaps they simply come more quickly to psychiatric attention. Ilza Veith contends that “with the increasing awareness of conversion reactions and the popularization of psychiatric literature, the ‘old-fashioned’ somatic expressions of hysteria have become suspect among the more sophisticated classes, and hence most physicians observe that obvious conversion symptoms are now rarely encountered and, if at all, only among the uneducated.” The attention given to character disorders in recent clinical literature probably makes psychiatrists more alert to their presence. But this possibility by no means diminishes the importance of psychiatric testimony about the prevalence of narcissism, especially when this testimony appears at the same time that journalists begin to speculate about the new narcissism and the unhealthy trend toward self-absorption. The narcissist comes to the attention of psychiatrists for some of the same reasons that he rises to positions of prominence not only in awareness movements and other cults but in business corporations, political organizations, and government bureaucracies. For all his inner suffering, the narcissist has many traits that make for success in bureaucratic institutions, which put a premium on the manipulation of interpersonal relations, discourage the formation of deep personal attachments, and at the same time provide the narcissist with the approval he needs in order to validate his self-esteem. Although he may resort to therapies that promise to give meaning to life and to overcome his sense of emptiness, in his professional career the narcissist often enjoys considerable success. The management of personal impressions comes naturally to him, and his mastery of its intricacies serves him well in political and business organizations where performance now counts for less than “visibility,” “momentum,” and a winning record. As the “organization man” gives way to the bureaucratic “gamesman” - the “loyalty era” of American business to the age of the “executive success game” - the narcissist comes into his own.
In a study of 250 managers from twelve major companies, Michael Maccoby describes the new corporate leader, not altogether unsympathetically, as a person who works with people rather than with materials and who seeks not to build an empire or accumulate wealth but to experience “the exhilaration of running his team and of gaining victories.” He wants to “be known as a winner, and his deepest fear is to be labeled a loser.” Instead of pitting himself against a material task or a problem demanding solution, he puts himself against others, out of a “need to be in control.” As a recent textbook for managers puts it, success today means “not simply getting ahead” but “getting ahead of others.” The new executive, boyish, playful, and “seductive,” wants in Maccoby’s words “to maintain an illusion of limitless options.” He has little capacity for “personal intimacy and social commitment.” He feels little loyalty even to the company for which he works. One executive says he experiences power “as not being pushed around by the company.” In his upward climb, this man cultivates powerful customers and attempts to use them against his own company. “You need a very big customer,” according to his calculations, “who is always in trouble and demands changes from the company. That way you automatically have power in the company, and with the customer too. I like to keep my options open.” A professor of management endorses this strategy. “Overidentification” with the company, in his view, “produces a corporation with enormous power over the careers and destinies of its true believers.” The bigger the company, the more important he thinks it is for executes “to manage their careers in terms of their own…free choices” and to “maintain the widest set of options possible.”
According to Maccoby, the gamesman “is open to new ideas, but he lacks convictions.” He will do business with any regime, even if he disapproves of its principles. More independent and resourceful than the company man, he tries to use the company for his own ends, fearing that otherwise he will be “totally emasculated by the corporation.” He avoids intimacy as a trap, preferring the “exciting, sexy atmosphere” with which the modern executive surrounds himself at work, “where adoring, mini-skirted secretaries constantly flirt with him.” In all his personal relations, the gamesman depends on the admiration or fear he inspires in others to certify his credentials as a “winner.” As he gets older, he finds it more and more difficult to command the kind of attention on which he thrives. He reaches a plateau beyond which he does not advance in his job, perhaps because the very highest positions, as Maccoby notes, still go to “those able to renounce adolescent rebelliousness and become at least to some extent believers in the organization.” The job begins to lose its savor. Having little interest in craftsmanship, the new-style executive takes no pleasure in his achievements once he begins to lose the adolescent charm on which they rest. Middle age hits him with the force of a disaster: “Once his youth, vigor, and even the thrill in winning are lost, he becomes depressed and goalless, questioning the purpose of his life. No longer energized by the team struggle and unable to dedicate himself to something he believes in beyond himself, … he finds himself starkly alone.” It is not surprising, given the prevalence of this career pattern, that popular psychology returns so often to the “midlife crisis” and to ways of combating it.
In Wilfrid Sheed’s novel Office Politics, a wife asks, “There are real issues, aren’t there, between Mr. Fine and Mr. Tyler?” Her husband answers that the issues are trivial; “the jockeying of ego is the real story.” Eugene Emerson Jennings’s study of management, which celebrates the demise of the organization man and the advent of the new “era of mobility,” insists that corporate “mobility is more than mere job performance.” What counts is “style…panache…the ability to say and do almost anything without antagonizing others.” The upwardly mobile executive, according to Jennings, knows how to handle the people around him - the “shelf-sitter” who suffers from “arrested mobility” and envies success; the “fast learner”; the “mobile superior.” The “mobility-bright executive” has learned to “read” the power relations in his office and “to see the less visible and less audible side of his superiors, chiefly their standing with their peers and superiors.” He “Can infer from a minimum of cues who are the centers of power, and he seeks to have high visibility and exposure with them. He will assiduously cultivate his standing and opportunities with them and seize every opportunity to learn from them. He will utilize his opportunities in social world to size up the men who are centers of sponsorship in the corporate world.”
Constantly comparing the “executive success game” to an athletic contest or a game of chess, Jennings treats the substance of executive life as if it were just as arbitrarily and irrelevant to success as the task of kicking a ball through a net or of moving pieces over a chessboard. He never mentions the social and economic repercussions of managerial decisions or the power that managers exercise over society as a whole. For the corporate manager on the make, power consists not of money and influence but of “momentum,” a “winning image,” a reputation as a winner
The manager’s view of the world, as described by Jennings, Maccoby, and by the managers themselves, is that of the narcissist, who sees the world as a mirror of himself and has no interest in external events except as they throw back a reflection of his own image. The dense interpersonal environment of modern bureaucracy, in which work assumes an abstract quality almost wholly divorced from performance, by its very nature elicits and often rewards a narcissistic response. Bureaucracy, however, is only one of a number of social influences that are bringing a narcissistic type of personality organization into greater and greater prominence. Another such influence is the mechanical reproduction of culture, the proliferation of visual and audial images in the “society of the spectacle.” We live in a swirl of images and echoes that arrest experience and play it back in slow motion. Cameras and recording machines not only transcribe experience but alter its quality, giving to much of modern life that character of an enormous echo chamber, a hall of mirrors. Life presents itself as a succession of images of electronic signals, of impressions recorded and reproduced by means of photography, motion pictures, television, and sophisticated recording devices. Modern life is thoroughly mediated by electronic images that we cannot help responding to others as if their actions - and our own - were being recorded and simultaneously transmitted to an unseen audience or stored up for close scrutiny at some later time. “Smile, you’re on candid camera!” The intrusion into everyday life of this all-seeing eye no longer takes us by surprise or catches us with our defenses down. We need no reminder to smile. A smile is permanently graven on our features, and we already known from which of several angles its photographs to best advantage.
The proliferation of recorded images undermines our sense of reality. As Susan Sontag observes in her study of photography, “Reality has come to seem more and more like what we are shown by cameras.” We distrust our perceptions until the camera verifies them. Photographic images provide us with the proof of our existence, without which we would find it difficult even to reconstruct a personal history. Bourgeois families in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, Sontag points out, posed for portraits in order to proclaim the family’s status, whereas today the family album of photographs verifies the individual’s existence: its documentary record of his development from infancy onward provides him with the only evidence of his life that he recognizes as altogether valid. Among the “many narcissistic uses” that Sontag attributes to the camera, “self-surveillance” ranks among the most important, not only because it provides the technical means of ceaseless self-scrutiny but because it renders the sense of selfhood dependent on the consumption of images of the self, at the same time calling into question the reality of the external world.
By preserving images of the self at various stages of development, the camera helps to weaken the older idea of development as moral education and to promote a more passive idea according to which development consists of passing through the stages of life at the right time and in the right order. Current fascination with the life cycle embodies an awareness that success in politics or business depends on reaching certain goals on schedule; but it also reflects the ease with which developments can be electronically recorded. This brings us to another cultural change that elicits a widespread narcissistic response and, in this case, gives it a philosophical sanction: the emergence of a therapeutic ideology that upholds a normative schedule of psychosocial development and thus gives further encouragement to anxious self-scrutiny. The idea of normative development creates the fear that any deviation from the norm has a pathological source. Doctors have made a cult of periodic checkup - an investigation carried out once again by means of cameras and other recording instruments - and have implanted in their clients the notion that health depends on eternal watchfulness and the early detection of symptoms, as verified by medical technology. The client no longer feels physically or psychologically secure until his X-rays confirm a “clean bill of health.”
Medicine and psychiatry - more generally, the therapeutic outlook and sensibility that pervade modern society - reinforce the pattern created by other cultural influences, in which the individual endlessly examines himself for signs of aging and ill health, for tell-tale symptoms of psychic stress, for blemishes and flaws that might diminish his attractiveness, or on the other hand for reassuring indications that his life is proceeding according to schedule. Modern medicine has conquered the plagues and epidemics that once made life so precarious, only to create new forms of insecurity. In the same way, bureaucracy has made life predictable and even boring while reviving, in a new form, the war of all against all. Our overorganized society, in which large-scale organizations predominate but have lost the capacity to command allegiance, in some respects more nearly approximates a condition of universal animosity than did the primitive capitalism on which Hobbes managed his state of nature. Social conditions today encourage a survival mentality, expressed in its crudest form in disaster movies or in fantasies of space travel, which allow vicarious escape from a doomed planet. People no longer dream of overcoming difficulties but merely of surviving them. In business, according to Jennings, “The struggle is to survive emotionally” -to “preserve or enhance one’s identity or ego.” The normative concept of developmental stages promotes a view of life as an obstacle course: the aim is simply to get through the course with a minimum of trouble and pain. The ability to manipulate what Gail Sheehy refers to, using a medical metaphor, as “life-support systems” now appears to represent the highest form of wisdom: the knowledge that gets us through, as she puts it, without panic. Those who master Sheehy’s “no-panic approach to aging” and to the traumas of the life cycle will be able to say, in the words of one of her subjects, “I know I can survive… I don’t panic any more.” This is hardly an exalted form of satisfaction, however. “The current ideology,” Sheehy writes, “seems a mix of personal survivalism, revivalism, and cynicism”; yet her enormously popular guide to the “predictable crises of adult life,” with its superficially optimistic hymn to growth, development, and “self-actualization,” does not challenge this ideology, merely restates it in more “humanistic” form. “Growth” has become a euphemism for survival.
The World View of the Resigned
New social forms require new forms of personality, new modes of socialization, new ways of organizing experience. The concept of narcissism provides us not with a ready-made psychological determinism but with a way of understanding the psychological impact of recent social changes - assuming that we bear in mind not only its clinical origins but the continuum between pathology and normality. It provides us, in other words, with a tolerably accurate portrait of the “liberated” personality of our time, with his charm, his pseudo-awareness of his own condition, his promiscuous pansexuality, his fascination with oral sex, his fear of the castrating mother (Mrs. Portnoy), his hypochondria, his protective shallowness, his avoidance of dependence, his inability to mourn, his dread of old age and death.
Narcissism appears realistically to represent the best way of coping with the tensions and anxieties of modern life, and the prevailing social conditions therefore tend to bring out narcissistic traits that are present, in varying degrees, in everyone. These condition have also transformed the family, which in turn shapes the underlying structure of personality. A society that dears it has no future is not likely to give much attention to the needs of the next generation, and the ever-present sense of historical discontinuity - the blight of our society - falls with particularly devastating effect on the family. The modern parent’s attempt to make children feel loved and wanted does not conceal an underlying coolness - the remoteness of those who have little to pass on the next generation and who in any case give priority to their own right to self-fulfillment. The combination of emotional detachment with attempts to convince a child of his favored position in the family is a good prescription for a narcissistic personality structure.
Through the intermediary of the family, social patterns reproduce themselves in personality. Social arrangements live on in the individual, buried in the mind below the level of consciousness, even after they have become objectively undesirable and unnecessary - as many of our present arrangements are now widely acknowledged to have become. The perception of the world as a dangerous and forbidding place, though it originates in a realistic awareness of the insecurity of contemporary social life, receives reinforcement from the narcissistic projection of aggressive impulses outward. The belief that society has no future, while it rests on a certain realism about the dangers ahead, also incorporates a narcissistic inability to identify with posterity or to feel one self part of a historical stream.
The weakening of social ties, which originates in the prevailing state of social warfare, at the same time reflects a narcissistic defense against dependence. A warlike society tends to produce men and women who are at heart antisocial. It should therefore not surprise us to find that although the narcissist conforms to social norms for fear of external retribution, he often thinks of himself as an outlaw and sees others in the same way, “as basically dishonest and unreliable, or only reliable because of external pressures.” “The value systems of narcissistic personalities are generally corruptible,” writes Kernberg, “in contrast to the rigid morality of the obsessive personality.”
The ethic of self-preservation and psychic survival is rooted, then, not merely in objective conditions of economic warfare, rising rates of crime, and social chaos but in the subjective experience of emptiness and isolation. It reflects the conviction - as much a projection of inner anxieties as a perception of the way things are - that envy and exploitation dominate even the most intimate relations. The cult of personal relations, which becomes increasingly intense as the hope of political solutions recedes, conceals a thoroughgoing disenchantment with personal relations, just as the cult of sensuality implies a repudiation of sensuality in all but its most primitive forms. The ideology of personal growth, superficially optimistic, radiates a profound despair and resignation. It is the faith of those without faith.
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2024.05.16 04:55 CaptainChristopher02 My Floridian Arxur Daughter (Part 30: A Visit to the ER)
Memory Transcript Subject: Carlos Jose Rodriguez, Mechanical Engineer, Florida Man
Date [Standardized Human Time]: December 29th, 2136
When Yalga passed out on the couch I sent a message to the family group chat making sure everyone knew of the situation.
I needed to get Yalga into the hospital, but I didn’t want to do it myself. Pyon also needed a sitter, so I was waiting for mom to come back so Salisek and I could focus on Yalga.
Me: Yalga burned herself on the heat pad. We’re taking her to the ER. Mom, could you come home to take care of Pyon.
Mom: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BURNED HERSELF?! We’re coming home!
Tarvik: On our way. We’ll help you take her.
I didn’t want to bother them, but I couldn’t complain. I needed help. While I waited for them to arrive I poured a cool glass of water for Yalga so she could hydrate herself when she gets up. I gently nudged her awake, which made her groan in discomfort as her eyes opened.
“Dad? What’s going on?” She asked weakly. Her voice was a little rough.
“I’m gonna take you to the doctor,” I answered bluntly. “I am aware, you don’t love doctors but these people can help you much better than me. I’ll be with you as much as I can, holding your hand. Can you be brave for me?”
My daughter nodded yes, so I got up and went upstairs to grab something we’re definitely gonna need. I also made sure Salisek got the news. She probably saw through the chat, but I needed to be sure.
I peeked into our room, or at least the room the girls were staying in together. “Honey?” I called the mother of my children. Salisek was cradling Pyon, trying to calm him down. Pyon was holding his teddy tight enough to cause some visible rips and tears. I need to ask mom to fix that later. “How is he?”
Pyon buried his face in Saliseks chest fur, and made some small whining sounds. “He’s scared. We heard Yalga scream and didn’t know what was going on. He soiled himself when he heard Yalga and has been crying for a while now. He only just stopped. He can sense I’m worried too.”
“You changed him right?”
“Yeah, although I didn’t think now was a good time for potty training. What are you getting?”
Salisek followed me to my mom’s room and watched me search around the closet. “Almost a decade ago, my dad was hit by a car. Something about the sensors being screwed up. He’s obviously fine now, but the car didn’t stop just in time so he broke a leg. Thank God that’s all he got. Anyway, he bought a wheelchair and kept it- Aha!”
I freed the simple contraption buried under a mountain of clothes dad considered put away and carried it downstairs.
“We’re gonna need this. It’s gonna be way easier to move Yalga.”
Salisek continued to cradle Pyon, rocking him back and forth, as she talked to me, “What do you need me to do?”
“Stay with Pyon.”
“No.”
“We’re not arguing about this. I need you to stay-”
“Pardon me, could you repeat that!? Have you forgotten that despite that fact we aren’t married yet we both signed as the legal guardians of both Pyon AND Yalga. Or did you want to call your barber for help?”
Hearing Salisek use her angry voice when talking about anything other than Exterminator and Federation bigotry felt like a punch in the gut.I tried to defuse the situation. That worked about as well as it did when dad tried it.
“Hun, that’s not what I mea-”
“MY-” Salisek paused when she remembered she was still carrying Pyon who was looking at her as if she yelled at him. “Oh, I’m so sorry pup just…” She shifted Pyon's position so he could bury his face into her fur to distract her. She softened her voice, but made it stern as steel. “My daughter is in an incredible amount of pain. She is scared, she is tired. I will be there. Pyon will come with, so he can see his sister being taken care of. I. Will. Be. There. For. My. Daughter. Am I clear?”
I help up my hands in defeat. “Okay. We’ll leave as soon as the family gets here.”
Saliseks voice and posture softened. “Okay. Again this time. What can I do?”
Seeing how serious she was, I realized doing this on my own was a stupid idea from the start. “Pack some snacks. I’m not getting overcharged for crappy hospital junk. And while you’re in the kitchen please grab more water for Yalga. I gotta make sure the bandaging is on well and she’s okay.”
“Okay.”
Salisek walked to the kitchen, still carrying Pyon. At times like these, I know I made the right decision marrying her.
“I love you sweetheart!” I called out.
“I love you too hun!” She called back.
I pulled the wheelchair out so Yalga could get in it. I could try and carry her, but unfortunately with her size and weight it would be better to transport her like this. Even if it’s a short distance.
“Daddy,” Yalga called.
“Yeah.”
“Are you and Mommy mad at each other?” She asked innocently. “Did I do something wrong? I heard Mom say my name.”
I knelt down to give my daughter an assuring kiss on her head. “No kiddo. We had a disagreement like all adults. It’s solved now. We still love each other.”
Despite her monotone voice, it couldn’t hide the tears building in her eyes. “Okay.”
I ignored it for the moment because she was probably gonna cry more in a moment. I opened the chair as much as it could go and gave the seat a nice solid pat.
“We’re gonna put you here, then we’re going to the Emergency Room.”
“Do I have to get up?”
“Yeah. You do. Grab my hand. We’ll go slow.”
Yalga held my hand and grasped it tight. I need to remember that she has a very strong grip. To keep her even I used my other hand to push her up from the other side so she didn’t have to do the work.
I’m so glad I go to the gym.
We slowly worked together to lift her up so she could sit straight.
“Ow, ow!”
“I know it hurts. Take your time.”
Once we got her up we had to get her into the chair. I thought about the best way to put her tail. Through the hole in the back? Would it just drag to the ground? Wait!
I went to the side of the couch where there was a thin blanket for me and Salisek when we slept here. If I can tie the blanket on the handles it can keep her tail up without squishing it. I just need to get her on first.
“Okay Princess. Let’s get up. Can you stand?”
“Y-Yeah. Um, Dad?”
Yalga awkwardly clutched her tail. “I need to use the bathroom.”
My eyes darted from the bathroom to the couch and back. “No better time to test the wheelchair.”
[Memory Transcript Time Skip: 40 Minutes]
Even though it was getting late the traffic was still a lot. Once Salisek was ready we both called our parents and they both said that traffic was heavy. With it being the last Saturday of the year, Florida residents and tourists alike were enjoying their day.
We decided to just meet at the ER. The blanket trick for Yalga’s tail worked well and it didn’t hurt too much for her to walk once she got up. However, sitting down hurt her a lot unless it was in the wheelchair. Her tail probably played a factor since it didn’t have a place to sit except on the side when dealing with regular chairs.
Once we got to the hospital I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn’t that packed. Because of increased tourism and parties things can get crowded this time of year. Thankfully that wasn’t the case today. I didn’t want my daughter waiting more than she had too.
When I opened the side door, Yalga was already half up just so she could get into a chair with room for her tail. I helped carry her down and rolled her through the hospital's parking lot.
Salisek was having a difficult time carrying Pyon. He was pretty nervous. “Mawmy, I don wan to gow en.”
I didn’t understand why Pyon was scared but Mawmy was able to calm him down. “It’s okay pup. This place is filled with very nice and smart people who can help your big sister.”
My daughter didn’t say much, instead she looked around the large hospital and took in all the architecture and bright lights at the front. The front and lobby areas were clean and comfortable which helped a little to ease the tensions of anyone going in with something they believe is serious.
I rolled Yalga straight to the front desk and we were greeted by the medical receptionist. “Hello, how may I help you?”
I smiled politely and spoke calmly, “Hello, I’m Carlos Rodriguez and this is my daughter Yalga. She was using a heating pad and unfortunately suffered some burns. I was able to patch her up a little, but the gels and methods we have are for humans so I want to make sure she can heal properly. I would also like a professional to look at other areas of concern dealing with her limbs and back.”
“Any pain, shortness of breath, chest pain, profuse bleeding?”
“Her back usually causes her pain and the burning made it worse.”
She gestured to my fiance and son, “Are those two with you?”
“The tall Venlil woman is Salisek, my fiance, and she’s holding our son Pyon. They came for emotional support and to assist with anything Yalga may need.”
“We’ll get you someone right away. Please wait in the lobby.”
“Thank you.”
I knew they probably wouldn’t rush us in since even though Yalga is in pain, there’s no direct threat to her life. The most they’d do is probably a tetanus shot. I suppose I’ll have to worry if Yalga reacts to needles. I’ll try to calm her down because I could tell Yalga was still tense. I rolled her to a seating area with a TV playing Tom and Jerry.
Peak Fiction
With all the stress Yalga was going through, there’s nothing like cartoon violence to ease the mood. What would also ease the mood is having the family visit which according to a message they just sent, they were already here just finding parking.
Soon everyone entered the hospital and after a quick chat with the receptionist, along with me flagging them down, they joined us in the lobby. Helen and Chalta ran to Yalga the quickest.
“Yalga, are you okay?!” Chalta asked. “We heard your back got hurt!”
Helen was about to tackle Yalga into a hug before I stopped her. “Helen, Yalga isn’t feeling well. Please be careful she’s in a lot of pain.” Helen was visibly worried but still gently gave Yalga a supportive hug.
“Get better soon please.”
Talice and Tarvik were surrounding Salisek, asking questions on how they could help.
“Mom, it’s fine, really.”
“No, it’s not fine. Your father and I are here to help so please be honest with us. We’ll help with anything you need. We’ll take Helen home soon but the moment you need anything we’ll be right there.”
“Why isn’t she seeing a doctor yet? What kind of place is this?!”
Mom went over to Salisek who was still holding Pyon. “I can take him sweetie, get some rest.”
Salisek cradled a stressed Pyon in her arms, “Do you wanna go with Grandma, little pup?”
“Gwandma.”
Salisek gently handed Pyon over to my mother who instantly knew how to calm him down. Salisek fell into the chair next to me. She was pretty exhausted and it was getting late. The stress of everything is what really made her worry. Seeing your child in pain isn’t fun. My father put a hand on each of our shoulders.
“Is everything alright?” he asked.
I looked over to my daughter who was trying to watch the cartoon with her sisters but still had a hard time focusing because of the pain, as evident by her trying to adjust herself. I gave her a tap on her shoulder and mouthed “how are you feeling?”. I could only hear a little whisper, but it was enough to understand she was saying “It still hurts.”
Dad could overhear what we were trying to say and knelt down next to Yalga. “What would you like to do when we leave?”
“I’m a little hungry. Can we go eat later?”
“Of course, anything you want.”
I was grateful for my dad, that we remembered to comfort Yalga in all this. I was so new to everything, not to mention the speed at which everything was happening.
…
Where’s the doctor!
“Carlos Rodriguez,” She called just as my patience was wearing thin. “We’re ready to see you now.”
“Thank you. One moment.”
I quickly talked with my parents and in-laws about who is going home and who is staying. My mom offered to take Pyon home and to tuck him in, Salisek agreed. Talice decided to go with and made sure to bring Chalta and Helen back since they knew they might get bored or cause trouble. Tarvik and Dad were conversing for a bit about who should stay before settling on Dad since he’s more familiar with the hospital.
Salisek gave Pyon a strong nose nuzzle, “I’ll see you later, okay Pyon? Mommy will be home soon. Be good to grandma, okay?”
“Owkay Mawmy.”
“I love you.”
“I wuv yu tu.”
Helen and Chalta gave Yalga a big, but gentle, hug.
“Get better soon.”
“We’ll play lots of games together when you get back.”
Everyone quickly said their goodbyes so it was just me, Yalga, Salisek, and Dad. We followed the nurse to a room and were asked to wait until the doctor arrived. Yalga was really on edge.
“Dad, are you gonna tell Odin about me?”
“It hasn’t crossed our minds. Do you want us to call him so you can talk for a bit?”
“No thank you, I don’t want him to worry.” My daughter fidgeted with her claws in shame. She didn’t want Odin to see her hurt. The moment she’s okay, I’m planning a date for her and Odin. With chaperones of course. “Are the doctors here nice?” Yalga asked nervously.
“Of course they are, Princess. Just answer honestly and they’ll help you get better.”
They’ll help you get better… I hope.
[Memory Transcript Time Skip: 60 Minutes]
“So the spray will help heal and clean the burn so it doesn’t get sick?” Yalga asked curiously.
“That’s right,” Dr. Brown stated. “Soon we’ll give you a small shot to help protect against tetanus. It’s a very dangerous condition that can happen when you get a cut or burn. But you’re being very brave, I’ll see if we can get you a treat later. That is, if your parents are okay with it.”
“gasp Can I daddy?! Pleeeeeeease, I’ve been soooo good.”
I smiled brightly, “Of course you can.”
Dr. Brown was a huge blessing. The guy had been working with kids for a while and was great with Yalga. He was really good at relaxing her and explaining to her what was going on. He was honest and genuine. Salisek really liked him too, and even asked some questions herself. I also remembered him during my reckless years. He recognized me too.
“You’re daddy was quite the troublemaker back in his day.”
“Really?”
“Yup, when he was small he proudly came to me with a broken wrist.”
“Why would he be proud of that?”
“He got it trying to impress his crush.”
Seven-year-old me told you that in confidence.
I awkwardly looked at Salisek, but all she could do was stare and slowly smile while turning to my dad for more information.
“Do you happen to know the full story, dad?” Salisek teased.
“Well daughter, Carlos had a small crush on this girl named Jessica in the second grade and he tried to impress her by jumping off the swing set. He succeeded and flung himself so far into the air that when he landed on his wrist he needed a cast for months.”
“H-Hey! You laugh but it worked. She sat next to me at lunch and gave me her lunchables, that’s like… the pinnacle of love in second grade.”
I earned a laugh from everyone in the room, which almost made me forget that it was at my expense.
“Um, what is a lunchable?” Dr. Triva asked. She was a Zurulian working with Dr. Brown, trying to work with and understand the Arxur biology. While she was important in treating Yalga’s burn with her experience with Harchen Exterminators she would be even more important in trying to understand her condition as a whole. Zurulians have the best medical understanding compared to… pretty much everyone.
“It’s a children’s meal kit for both vegan and non-vegan foods, it’s popular for kids in school lunches.” Dr. Brown took his eyes off his colleague and gave me a sly look. “But let’s be honest, there was never any real meat in those things.”
Yalga’s interests also peaked. “Were they tasty?”
“Back in my day they were the best part of school. They were also a status symbol. Having the best lunchables meant you were the coolest kid.”
“What was the best one, Daddy?”
“Pizza.”
Of course it was pizza. It’s always pizza.
Pizza is God’s gift to the world.
Dr. Triva grabbed the syringe for the shot while Dr. Brown prepped the area. The sight of the needle made Yalga nervous.
“D-Daddy, do we have to…”
“Hey Princess, look at this.”
Yalga took her gaze off the needle and onto my phone where I showed her my favorite distraction.
[Behold Distraction]
“What is that?” Yalga asked. “I like the sounds.”
The legend Zach Choi, his legacy continued by his descendants, loved making short videos of him just cooking. This one was one of the rare ones that didn’t feature meat. Yalga was fully entranced into the process that she didn’t even react to the needle or the bandaid.
“Good job my beautiful pup!” Salisek cheered.
“Yeah… in a minute, mom.”
Dr. Brown chuckled, “I think I should start using those for nervous patients, right Dr. Triva?”
“Yeah… in a minute, Dr. Brown.”
I took my phone away before everyone forgot why they were here and we were ready to proceed. The doctors wanted to really get a look at Yalga and her condition. On the promise of peanut butter cookies and meat lovers pizza Yalga bravely went through all the X-Ray’s, bloodwork, medical history, and any other examinations they needed.
It took a while and she was starting to get frustrated with all the tests, but she persisted, and soon it was over. They allowed us to stay the night to monitor the burn area in case complications arose. So we all stayed in the hospital room, enjoying our time together as if it was a little adventure.
“Mommy look, the bed moves!”
“Pup, please don’t break it.”
Yalga went crazy when she saw how many buttons the hospital bed had, and needless to say, she was enjoying it. She kept Dad occupied with all her questions both about the hospital and about anything else her mind could think of. She was happy to be done with the tests.
“Grandpa, do you think they’ll let me see my bone pictures later?”
“Sure, but they need someone who is trained to look at them first and show them to the doctors.”
“There’s someone who knows how to look at pictures of bones?”
“Yup, they can see things we can because they’re bone smart. Do you wanna be a doctor when you grow up?”
“I dunno. Maybe I can be a doctor for bones, a bone doctor!”
It was nice seeing her happy, but Salisek and I were still worried about what they would find. What would it take to heal Yalga? Could they do it? I think so, but how long will it take? I don’t care about the financial cost, I care about the physical and mental toll it would take on Yalga. But would we have a choice?
I looked to my fiance who was rapidly tapping her foot onto the ground, impatiently waiting for the doctor to come back in and give us the news on Yalga’s condition.
“It can’t be that bad right?” she whispered. “With aid from the Zurualians they must have a way to easily fix Yalga’s condition. So what’s taking them so long?”
“They’re probably just double checking some things. I’m sure it’s nothing.” I could tell she was still stressed, so I held her hand and kissed her cheek. “Our daughter will be fine.”
Salisek tried to keep herself from crying for Yalga’s sake, but had the doctors not finally arrived she might’ve broken.
“Carlos, Salisek? You’re the parents correct?” Dr. Trivia asked. “I’ll just need to see you both very quickly to discuss some things.”
Finally ready for some answers we quickly got up, kissed our baby goodbye for now, and followed the Zurulian to a small room with Dr. Brown.
“Mr. Rodriguez and Mrs., do you prefer to be called Salisek or are you fine with adopting Mrs. Rodriguez?” The doctor politely asked.
“I’m fine with either, but I would like to get used to Mrs. Rodriguez.” I could feel her hand strengthen her grip in mine.
“Wonderful,” Dr. Brown took out a small folder that showed some of Yalga’s X-Rays, notes, and documents. “First things first, your daughter's burns should heal very soon.”
“Courtesy of Zurulian medicine and Harchen Exterminator Accidents.”
“Yes, thank you Dr. Triva. But of course this is not the only information you wanted to know about. The condition of your daughter is concerning. Not only because of the condition of her injuries, but also her condition that allows her body to grow at an exaggerated rate.”
Dr. Triva put the X-Ray slides on a projector for us to see. Seeing Yalga’s bones and how badly they were broken made my stomach turn, and my heart sink. I could hear Salisek’s gasp from how shocked she was.
It looked like a child had rearranged the right side of her body like a poorly constructed jigsaw puzzle. What made things worse was that the other side of her body looked nearly untouched meaning we could see all the damage her sperm donor did. I know how it felt to have broken a few bones as a kid. Her life would’ve been torture for me. I have know idea how she could live like that.
Why didn’t I take her here the moment we got home? How long has she been suffering like this?
“As you can see the limbs that didn’t grow as much were the ones that were injured the most. Trauma can be a factor in how limbs develop,” Dr. Triva explained. “You can see here how the bones didn’t heal correctly. Upon questioning your daughter it’s no question her back holds the most problems, but looking at her arms and legs it’s possible they’re also providing an incredible amount of discomfort and pain.”
Salisek wrapped her tail around my leg nervously. “So, what does this mean?”
“It means,” Dr. Brown continued. “That before we even think about her back we should address what’s going on in the rest of her body. If you look at her pelvic bone you can see it isn’t straight due to her walking on uneven legs for lord knows how long. So we think it would be best to first start realigning the bones as well as doing the appropriate extensions. My only concern is that her accelerated growth may cause complications, so she’ll need to visit here frequently.”
My fiance’s grip tightened as she looked deeper into the X-Rays, “I see. How long will it take for her to recover?”
“Several months, due to the severity of it. We can do the arms and legs separately, but that would be up to you. There’s a possibility it could take longer. We just can’t be certain with her growth, but we’ll have experts working round the clock on her case.”
“I-I see. But you can help her right?”
“We will do all within our power to make sure your daughter is healthy and lives a pain free life.
“Thank you… could you give us a moment. We would like to let our daughter know about it before we make arrangements.”
“Of course. Please let us know when you’re ready.”
We politely walked out of the room and turned around the corner away from where Yalga was.
“Honey?” I asked. “Is everything okay?”
I almost fell over when she pulled me in for a hug. I could barely hear her through her bleats and cry’s. “Look at what that monster did to her.”
First Previous
submitted by CaptainChristopher02 to NatureofPredators [link] [comments]
Date [Standardized Human Time]: December 29th, 2136
When Yalga passed out on the couch I sent a message to the family group chat making sure everyone knew of the situation.
I needed to get Yalga into the hospital, but I didn’t want to do it myself. Pyon also needed a sitter, so I was waiting for mom to come back so Salisek and I could focus on Yalga.
Me: Yalga burned herself on the heat pad. We’re taking her to the ER. Mom, could you come home to take care of Pyon.
Mom: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BURNED HERSELF?! We’re coming home!
Tarvik: On our way. We’ll help you take her.
I didn’t want to bother them, but I couldn’t complain. I needed help. While I waited for them to arrive I poured a cool glass of water for Yalga so she could hydrate herself when she gets up. I gently nudged her awake, which made her groan in discomfort as her eyes opened.
“Dad? What’s going on?” She asked weakly. Her voice was a little rough.
“I’m gonna take you to the doctor,” I answered bluntly. “I am aware, you don’t love doctors but these people can help you much better than me. I’ll be with you as much as I can, holding your hand. Can you be brave for me?”
My daughter nodded yes, so I got up and went upstairs to grab something we’re definitely gonna need. I also made sure Salisek got the news. She probably saw through the chat, but I needed to be sure.
I peeked into our room, or at least the room the girls were staying in together. “Honey?” I called the mother of my children. Salisek was cradling Pyon, trying to calm him down. Pyon was holding his teddy tight enough to cause some visible rips and tears. I need to ask mom to fix that later. “How is he?”
Pyon buried his face in Saliseks chest fur, and made some small whining sounds. “He’s scared. We heard Yalga scream and didn’t know what was going on. He soiled himself when he heard Yalga and has been crying for a while now. He only just stopped. He can sense I’m worried too.”
“You changed him right?”
“Yeah, although I didn’t think now was a good time for potty training. What are you getting?”
Salisek followed me to my mom’s room and watched me search around the closet. “Almost a decade ago, my dad was hit by a car. Something about the sensors being screwed up. He’s obviously fine now, but the car didn’t stop just in time so he broke a leg. Thank God that’s all he got. Anyway, he bought a wheelchair and kept it- Aha!”
I freed the simple contraption buried under a mountain of clothes dad considered put away and carried it downstairs.
“We’re gonna need this. It’s gonna be way easier to move Yalga.”
Salisek continued to cradle Pyon, rocking him back and forth, as she talked to me, “What do you need me to do?”
“Stay with Pyon.”
“No.”
“We’re not arguing about this. I need you to stay-”
“Pardon me, could you repeat that!? Have you forgotten that despite that fact we aren’t married yet we both signed as the legal guardians of both Pyon AND Yalga. Or did you want to call your barber for help?”
Hearing Salisek use her angry voice when talking about anything other than Exterminator and Federation bigotry felt like a punch in the gut.I tried to defuse the situation. That worked about as well as it did when dad tried it.
“Hun, that’s not what I mea-”
“MY-” Salisek paused when she remembered she was still carrying Pyon who was looking at her as if she yelled at him. “Oh, I’m so sorry pup just…” She shifted Pyon's position so he could bury his face into her fur to distract her. She softened her voice, but made it stern as steel. “My daughter is in an incredible amount of pain. She is scared, she is tired. I will be there. Pyon will come with, so he can see his sister being taken care of. I. Will. Be. There. For. My. Daughter. Am I clear?”
I help up my hands in defeat. “Okay. We’ll leave as soon as the family gets here.”
Saliseks voice and posture softened. “Okay. Again this time. What can I do?”
Seeing how serious she was, I realized doing this on my own was a stupid idea from the start. “Pack some snacks. I’m not getting overcharged for crappy hospital junk. And while you’re in the kitchen please grab more water for Yalga. I gotta make sure the bandaging is on well and she’s okay.”
“Okay.”
Salisek walked to the kitchen, still carrying Pyon. At times like these, I know I made the right decision marrying her.
“I love you sweetheart!” I called out.
“I love you too hun!” She called back.
I pulled the wheelchair out so Yalga could get in it. I could try and carry her, but unfortunately with her size and weight it would be better to transport her like this. Even if it’s a short distance.
“Daddy,” Yalga called.
“Yeah.”
“Are you and Mommy mad at each other?” She asked innocently. “Did I do something wrong? I heard Mom say my name.”
I knelt down to give my daughter an assuring kiss on her head. “No kiddo. We had a disagreement like all adults. It’s solved now. We still love each other.”
Despite her monotone voice, it couldn’t hide the tears building in her eyes. “Okay.”
I ignored it for the moment because she was probably gonna cry more in a moment. I opened the chair as much as it could go and gave the seat a nice solid pat.
“We’re gonna put you here, then we’re going to the Emergency Room.”
“Do I have to get up?”
“Yeah. You do. Grab my hand. We’ll go slow.”
Yalga held my hand and grasped it tight. I need to remember that she has a very strong grip. To keep her even I used my other hand to push her up from the other side so she didn’t have to do the work.
I’m so glad I go to the gym.
We slowly worked together to lift her up so she could sit straight.
“Ow, ow!”
“I know it hurts. Take your time.”
Once we got her up we had to get her into the chair. I thought about the best way to put her tail. Through the hole in the back? Would it just drag to the ground? Wait!
I went to the side of the couch where there was a thin blanket for me and Salisek when we slept here. If I can tie the blanket on the handles it can keep her tail up without squishing it. I just need to get her on first.
“Okay Princess. Let’s get up. Can you stand?”
“Y-Yeah. Um, Dad?”
Yalga awkwardly clutched her tail. “I need to use the bathroom.”
My eyes darted from the bathroom to the couch and back. “No better time to test the wheelchair.”
[Memory Transcript Time Skip: 40 Minutes]
Even though it was getting late the traffic was still a lot. Once Salisek was ready we both called our parents and they both said that traffic was heavy. With it being the last Saturday of the year, Florida residents and tourists alike were enjoying their day.
We decided to just meet at the ER. The blanket trick for Yalga’s tail worked well and it didn’t hurt too much for her to walk once she got up. However, sitting down hurt her a lot unless it was in the wheelchair. Her tail probably played a factor since it didn’t have a place to sit except on the side when dealing with regular chairs.
Once we got to the hospital I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn’t that packed. Because of increased tourism and parties things can get crowded this time of year. Thankfully that wasn’t the case today. I didn’t want my daughter waiting more than she had too.
When I opened the side door, Yalga was already half up just so she could get into a chair with room for her tail. I helped carry her down and rolled her through the hospital's parking lot.
Salisek was having a difficult time carrying Pyon. He was pretty nervous. “Mawmy, I don wan to gow en.”
I didn’t understand why Pyon was scared but Mawmy was able to calm him down. “It’s okay pup. This place is filled with very nice and smart people who can help your big sister.”
My daughter didn’t say much, instead she looked around the large hospital and took in all the architecture and bright lights at the front. The front and lobby areas were clean and comfortable which helped a little to ease the tensions of anyone going in with something they believe is serious.
I rolled Yalga straight to the front desk and we were greeted by the medical receptionist. “Hello, how may I help you?”
I smiled politely and spoke calmly, “Hello, I’m Carlos Rodriguez and this is my daughter Yalga. She was using a heating pad and unfortunately suffered some burns. I was able to patch her up a little, but the gels and methods we have are for humans so I want to make sure she can heal properly. I would also like a professional to look at other areas of concern dealing with her limbs and back.”
“Any pain, shortness of breath, chest pain, profuse bleeding?”
“Her back usually causes her pain and the burning made it worse.”
She gestured to my fiance and son, “Are those two with you?”
“The tall Venlil woman is Salisek, my fiance, and she’s holding our son Pyon. They came for emotional support and to assist with anything Yalga may need.”
“We’ll get you someone right away. Please wait in the lobby.”
“Thank you.”
I knew they probably wouldn’t rush us in since even though Yalga is in pain, there’s no direct threat to her life. The most they’d do is probably a tetanus shot. I suppose I’ll have to worry if Yalga reacts to needles. I’ll try to calm her down because I could tell Yalga was still tense. I rolled her to a seating area with a TV playing Tom and Jerry.
Peak Fiction
With all the stress Yalga was going through, there’s nothing like cartoon violence to ease the mood. What would also ease the mood is having the family visit which according to a message they just sent, they were already here just finding parking.
Soon everyone entered the hospital and after a quick chat with the receptionist, along with me flagging them down, they joined us in the lobby. Helen and Chalta ran to Yalga the quickest.
“Yalga, are you okay?!” Chalta asked. “We heard your back got hurt!”
Helen was about to tackle Yalga into a hug before I stopped her. “Helen, Yalga isn’t feeling well. Please be careful she’s in a lot of pain.” Helen was visibly worried but still gently gave Yalga a supportive hug.
“Get better soon please.”
Talice and Tarvik were surrounding Salisek, asking questions on how they could help.
“Mom, it’s fine, really.”
“No, it’s not fine. Your father and I are here to help so please be honest with us. We’ll help with anything you need. We’ll take Helen home soon but the moment you need anything we’ll be right there.”
“Why isn’t she seeing a doctor yet? What kind of place is this?!”
Mom went over to Salisek who was still holding Pyon. “I can take him sweetie, get some rest.”
Salisek cradled a stressed Pyon in her arms, “Do you wanna go with Grandma, little pup?”
“Gwandma.”
Salisek gently handed Pyon over to my mother who instantly knew how to calm him down. Salisek fell into the chair next to me. She was pretty exhausted and it was getting late. The stress of everything is what really made her worry. Seeing your child in pain isn’t fun. My father put a hand on each of our shoulders.
“Is everything alright?” he asked.
I looked over to my daughter who was trying to watch the cartoon with her sisters but still had a hard time focusing because of the pain, as evident by her trying to adjust herself. I gave her a tap on her shoulder and mouthed “how are you feeling?”. I could only hear a little whisper, but it was enough to understand she was saying “It still hurts.”
Dad could overhear what we were trying to say and knelt down next to Yalga. “What would you like to do when we leave?”
“I’m a little hungry. Can we go eat later?”
“Of course, anything you want.”
I was grateful for my dad, that we remembered to comfort Yalga in all this. I was so new to everything, not to mention the speed at which everything was happening.
…
Where’s the doctor!
“Carlos Rodriguez,” She called just as my patience was wearing thin. “We’re ready to see you now.”
“Thank you. One moment.”
I quickly talked with my parents and in-laws about who is going home and who is staying. My mom offered to take Pyon home and to tuck him in, Salisek agreed. Talice decided to go with and made sure to bring Chalta and Helen back since they knew they might get bored or cause trouble. Tarvik and Dad were conversing for a bit about who should stay before settling on Dad since he’s more familiar with the hospital.
Salisek gave Pyon a strong nose nuzzle, “I’ll see you later, okay Pyon? Mommy will be home soon. Be good to grandma, okay?”
“Owkay Mawmy.”
“I love you.”
“I wuv yu tu.”
Helen and Chalta gave Yalga a big, but gentle, hug.
“Get better soon.”
“We’ll play lots of games together when you get back.”
Everyone quickly said their goodbyes so it was just me, Yalga, Salisek, and Dad. We followed the nurse to a room and were asked to wait until the doctor arrived. Yalga was really on edge.
“Dad, are you gonna tell Odin about me?”
“It hasn’t crossed our minds. Do you want us to call him so you can talk for a bit?”
“No thank you, I don’t want him to worry.” My daughter fidgeted with her claws in shame. She didn’t want Odin to see her hurt. The moment she’s okay, I’m planning a date for her and Odin. With chaperones of course. “Are the doctors here nice?” Yalga asked nervously.
“Of course they are, Princess. Just answer honestly and they’ll help you get better.”
They’ll help you get better… I hope.
[Memory Transcript Time Skip: 60 Minutes]
“So the spray will help heal and clean the burn so it doesn’t get sick?” Yalga asked curiously.
“That’s right,” Dr. Brown stated. “Soon we’ll give you a small shot to help protect against tetanus. It’s a very dangerous condition that can happen when you get a cut or burn. But you’re being very brave, I’ll see if we can get you a treat later. That is, if your parents are okay with it.”
“gasp Can I daddy?! Pleeeeeeease, I’ve been soooo good.”
I smiled brightly, “Of course you can.”
Dr. Brown was a huge blessing. The guy had been working with kids for a while and was great with Yalga. He was really good at relaxing her and explaining to her what was going on. He was honest and genuine. Salisek really liked him too, and even asked some questions herself. I also remembered him during my reckless years. He recognized me too.
“You’re daddy was quite the troublemaker back in his day.”
“Really?”
“Yup, when he was small he proudly came to me with a broken wrist.”
“Why would he be proud of that?”
“He got it trying to impress his crush.”
Seven-year-old me told you that in confidence.
I awkwardly looked at Salisek, but all she could do was stare and slowly smile while turning to my dad for more information.
“Do you happen to know the full story, dad?” Salisek teased.
“Well daughter, Carlos had a small crush on this girl named Jessica in the second grade and he tried to impress her by jumping off the swing set. He succeeded and flung himself so far into the air that when he landed on his wrist he needed a cast for months.”
“H-Hey! You laugh but it worked. She sat next to me at lunch and gave me her lunchables, that’s like… the pinnacle of love in second grade.”
I earned a laugh from everyone in the room, which almost made me forget that it was at my expense.
“Um, what is a lunchable?” Dr. Triva asked. She was a Zurulian working with Dr. Brown, trying to work with and understand the Arxur biology. While she was important in treating Yalga’s burn with her experience with Harchen Exterminators she would be even more important in trying to understand her condition as a whole. Zurulians have the best medical understanding compared to… pretty much everyone.
“It’s a children’s meal kit for both vegan and non-vegan foods, it’s popular for kids in school lunches.” Dr. Brown took his eyes off his colleague and gave me a sly look. “But let’s be honest, there was never any real meat in those things.”
Yalga’s interests also peaked. “Were they tasty?”
“Back in my day they were the best part of school. They were also a status symbol. Having the best lunchables meant you were the coolest kid.”
“What was the best one, Daddy?”
“Pizza.”
Of course it was pizza. It’s always pizza.
Pizza is God’s gift to the world.
Dr. Triva grabbed the syringe for the shot while Dr. Brown prepped the area. The sight of the needle made Yalga nervous.
“D-Daddy, do we have to…”
“Hey Princess, look at this.”
Yalga took her gaze off the needle and onto my phone where I showed her my favorite distraction.
[Behold Distraction]
“What is that?” Yalga asked. “I like the sounds.”
The legend Zach Choi, his legacy continued by his descendants, loved making short videos of him just cooking. This one was one of the rare ones that didn’t feature meat. Yalga was fully entranced into the process that she didn’t even react to the needle or the bandaid.
“Good job my beautiful pup!” Salisek cheered.
“Yeah… in a minute, mom.”
Dr. Brown chuckled, “I think I should start using those for nervous patients, right Dr. Triva?”
“Yeah… in a minute, Dr. Brown.”
I took my phone away before everyone forgot why they were here and we were ready to proceed. The doctors wanted to really get a look at Yalga and her condition. On the promise of peanut butter cookies and meat lovers pizza Yalga bravely went through all the X-Ray’s, bloodwork, medical history, and any other examinations they needed.
It took a while and she was starting to get frustrated with all the tests, but she persisted, and soon it was over. They allowed us to stay the night to monitor the burn area in case complications arose. So we all stayed in the hospital room, enjoying our time together as if it was a little adventure.
“Mommy look, the bed moves!”
“Pup, please don’t break it.”
Yalga went crazy when she saw how many buttons the hospital bed had, and needless to say, she was enjoying it. She kept Dad occupied with all her questions both about the hospital and about anything else her mind could think of. She was happy to be done with the tests.
“Grandpa, do you think they’ll let me see my bone pictures later?”
“Sure, but they need someone who is trained to look at them first and show them to the doctors.”
“There’s someone who knows how to look at pictures of bones?”
“Yup, they can see things we can because they’re bone smart. Do you wanna be a doctor when you grow up?”
“I dunno. Maybe I can be a doctor for bones, a bone doctor!”
It was nice seeing her happy, but Salisek and I were still worried about what they would find. What would it take to heal Yalga? Could they do it? I think so, but how long will it take? I don’t care about the financial cost, I care about the physical and mental toll it would take on Yalga. But would we have a choice?
I looked to my fiance who was rapidly tapping her foot onto the ground, impatiently waiting for the doctor to come back in and give us the news on Yalga’s condition.
“It can’t be that bad right?” she whispered. “With aid from the Zurualians they must have a way to easily fix Yalga’s condition. So what’s taking them so long?”
“They’re probably just double checking some things. I’m sure it’s nothing.” I could tell she was still stressed, so I held her hand and kissed her cheek. “Our daughter will be fine.”
Salisek tried to keep herself from crying for Yalga’s sake, but had the doctors not finally arrived she might’ve broken.
“Carlos, Salisek? You’re the parents correct?” Dr. Trivia asked. “I’ll just need to see you both very quickly to discuss some things.”
Finally ready for some answers we quickly got up, kissed our baby goodbye for now, and followed the Zurulian to a small room with Dr. Brown.
“Mr. Rodriguez and Mrs., do you prefer to be called Salisek or are you fine with adopting Mrs. Rodriguez?” The doctor politely asked.
“I’m fine with either, but I would like to get used to Mrs. Rodriguez.” I could feel her hand strengthen her grip in mine.
“Wonderful,” Dr. Brown took out a small folder that showed some of Yalga’s X-Rays, notes, and documents. “First things first, your daughter's burns should heal very soon.”
“Courtesy of Zurulian medicine and Harchen Exterminator Accidents.”
“Yes, thank you Dr. Triva. But of course this is not the only information you wanted to know about. The condition of your daughter is concerning. Not only because of the condition of her injuries, but also her condition that allows her body to grow at an exaggerated rate.”
Dr. Triva put the X-Ray slides on a projector for us to see. Seeing Yalga’s bones and how badly they were broken made my stomach turn, and my heart sink. I could hear Salisek’s gasp from how shocked she was.
It looked like a child had rearranged the right side of her body like a poorly constructed jigsaw puzzle. What made things worse was that the other side of her body looked nearly untouched meaning we could see all the damage her sperm donor did. I know how it felt to have broken a few bones as a kid. Her life would’ve been torture for me. I have know idea how she could live like that.
Why didn’t I take her here the moment we got home? How long has she been suffering like this?
“As you can see the limbs that didn’t grow as much were the ones that were injured the most. Trauma can be a factor in how limbs develop,” Dr. Triva explained. “You can see here how the bones didn’t heal correctly. Upon questioning your daughter it’s no question her back holds the most problems, but looking at her arms and legs it’s possible they’re also providing an incredible amount of discomfort and pain.”
Salisek wrapped her tail around my leg nervously. “So, what does this mean?”
“It means,” Dr. Brown continued. “That before we even think about her back we should address what’s going on in the rest of her body. If you look at her pelvic bone you can see it isn’t straight due to her walking on uneven legs for lord knows how long. So we think it would be best to first start realigning the bones as well as doing the appropriate extensions. My only concern is that her accelerated growth may cause complications, so she’ll need to visit here frequently.”
My fiance’s grip tightened as she looked deeper into the X-Rays, “I see. How long will it take for her to recover?”
“Several months, due to the severity of it. We can do the arms and legs separately, but that would be up to you. There’s a possibility it could take longer. We just can’t be certain with her growth, but we’ll have experts working round the clock on her case.”
“I-I see. But you can help her right?”
“We will do all within our power to make sure your daughter is healthy and lives a pain free life.
“Thank you… could you give us a moment. We would like to let our daughter know about it before we make arrangements.”
“Of course. Please let us know when you’re ready.”
We politely walked out of the room and turned around the corner away from where Yalga was.
“Honey?” I asked. “Is everything okay?”
I almost fell over when she pulled me in for a hug. I could barely hear her through her bleats and cry’s. “Look at what that monster did to her.”
First Previous
2024.05.16 04:54 fun_puffin mGBA Script Error w/ Save States?
TL;DR I have several questions on FLG RNG in mGBA:
I've been trying to enter the FLG RNG manip scene. Something I've been in interested in is figuring out how to manipulate the initial seed. I use mGBA and Real96's FLG script, since I've learned that it's much more precise than my old tools of VBA-RR and the pokemonstatsdisplay Lua script (shoutout to u/xPorki btw).
After an entire day of trial-and-error and digging around old forums, GitHubs, and Reddit posts, I learned that FLG does not create initial seeds the same way it creates what the script calls the "Current Seed." The latter is really just the PID. Before setting the initial seed, the script assumes a starting current seed of 0 and modifies it according to the usual algorithm cited here. Of course, the current seeds generated here don't matter. Once the initial seed is set, the algorithm restarts, passing that seed as the first value and iterating it to produce the PIDs. Moreover, there appears to be no relationship between the current seeds before the initial seed and the initial seed. (I literally wrote the current seed at every frame before the initial seed was generated to check—if a relationship exists, it's not as simple as taking some combination of the last few frames' seeds).
I've learned that FLG stores the initial seed in RAM address 0x0202000. To generate it, the game apparently uses an incredibly fast timer (according to this post and Blisy's page, much faster than 60 fps because it runs on processor clock cycles, not frame rates). This timer supposedly exists in address 0x04000104. I tried to investigate this location and ran into some problems...
First, mGBA's memory viewer only shows locations that are multiples of 10. Thankfully, this limitation includes addresses like 0x0202000 and 0x3005000 (where the current seed is stored in USA versions of FLG, at least according to Real96's script), but 04000104 remains elusive. I presumed the memory viewer binned addresses, such that any fluctuations at 04000104 would be captured by 04000100 or 04000110. At least, the viewer implies that's how it works: if I try to inspect 04000104, the viewer takes me to 04000100. But this address doesn't change. You know what does change, though? 040000A0 fluctuates wildly as the intro cutscene plays, at least as fast as 60 fps.
That said, 040000A0 exhibits some unexpected quirks. First, that address remains strangely quiet during certain portions of FLGs intro cutscene. For example, I've noticed that it'll read 0000 0000 0000 0000 during moments when the screen is pitch black. Other times, the address will be oddly regular, with readings like FEFE FEFE FEFE FEFE or even FFFF FFFF FFFF FFFF. Given the former observation, I suspect 040000A0 has some relationship with the game's graphics. It also stays at all zeroes during the "Previously on your quest" scenes. Second, the address continues fluctuating after these scenes end and you can move around. I thought the timer influencing the initial seed was unique to that seed; shouldn't it stop once the initial seed is set? Lastly, I was not able to find any relationship between the initial seed and 040000A0's readings. For example, I once got an initial seed of 1FF9 and kept careful track of 040000A0's readings up until that point. 1FF9 did not pop up anywhere. In fact, none of the RAM addresses in the viewer window (which ranged from 04000000 to 040002A0 for me) seemed to match. It's possible that, since the timer supposedly runs far beyond 60 fps, the initial seed simply showed up at a pace that did not correspond to a specific frame. Searching the memory for the initial seed also brought up no locations besides the expected 02020000.
Eventually (and somewhat anticlimatically), I learned that you can just modify the initial seed directly using the memory viewer. Simply go to the initial seed's location, type the one you want, and you're done! Real96's script correctly displays the new seed. There is one catch though: its advances counter appears to suffer from some kind of integer overflow. For example, advance 41000 can suddenly become negative 4294926295. As you might expect, this glitch makes calibration much more difficult, as I'd have to track what frame I was on before the overflow occurred and do some extra arithmetic to determine what negative advance corresponds to the positive target (the counter appears to still iterate at the correct rate).
I tried seeing if advances, like initial seeds and PIDs, have a distinct location in memory. The script appears to calculate advances using the LCRNGDistance function, which passes in two seeds as "states." Based on some comparisons of these states, the function operates with RAM addresses listed in the JUMP_DATA hash table, meaning I'm out of luck unless I'm willing to do some serious math or programming. (I suppose that, in retrospect, the current advance obviously couldn't be stored in a single location because so many things can influence it.)
Interestingly, directly changing the memory is not the only thing that causes the script to experience overflow (or whatever that error would be—I didn't study CS lol). Back when I first started hunting for specific seeds (i.e., yesterday), I realized that if I make a savestate during the intro cutscene and load back to it after the initial seed has been set, the script will also show negative advances. My guess is the glitch has to do with the getRngInfo function, which resets the advance counter whenever the initial seed is equal to the current seed (which occurs upon resetting/booting up the game since both seeds are 0 at frame 0) or the temporary initial seed (which the script initializes as 0) is not equal to the actual initial seed (which happens the moment the initial seed is set). Because the counter was reset between the two states I loaded, it might have expected a different value than the one it received. Or maybe going from a post-initial seed state to a pre one in mGBA alters the memory such that it affects the JUMP_DATA and messes with LCRNGDistance's value.
Overall, I hope this lengthy post meticulously explained my thought processes, so a kind soul can see where my head is and try to provide some insightful advice on the questions I posted above.
submitted by fun_puffin to pokemonrng [link] [comments]
- What does RAM address 0x040000A0 show?
- If the above is not the location of the timer corresponding to the game's initial seed generation, how would I view the actual location of 0x04000104 in mGBA's memory viewer?
- Why does Real96's script show negative advancements under certain conditions (e.g., loading to a state before initial seed generation)?
- Can these glitched advancements be corrected without restarting the game?
I've been trying to enter the FLG RNG manip scene. Something I've been in interested in is figuring out how to manipulate the initial seed. I use mGBA and Real96's FLG script, since I've learned that it's much more precise than my old tools of VBA-RR and the pokemonstatsdisplay Lua script (shoutout to u/xPorki btw).
After an entire day of trial-and-error and digging around old forums, GitHubs, and Reddit posts, I learned that FLG does not create initial seeds the same way it creates what the script calls the "Current Seed." The latter is really just the PID. Before setting the initial seed, the script assumes a starting current seed of 0 and modifies it according to the usual algorithm cited here. Of course, the current seeds generated here don't matter. Once the initial seed is set, the algorithm restarts, passing that seed as the first value and iterating it to produce the PIDs. Moreover, there appears to be no relationship between the current seeds before the initial seed and the initial seed. (I literally wrote the current seed at every frame before the initial seed was generated to check—if a relationship exists, it's not as simple as taking some combination of the last few frames' seeds).
I've learned that FLG stores the initial seed in RAM address 0x0202000. To generate it, the game apparently uses an incredibly fast timer (according to this post and Blisy's page, much faster than 60 fps because it runs on processor clock cycles, not frame rates). This timer supposedly exists in address 0x04000104. I tried to investigate this location and ran into some problems...
First, mGBA's memory viewer only shows locations that are multiples of 10. Thankfully, this limitation includes addresses like 0x0202000 and 0x3005000 (where the current seed is stored in USA versions of FLG, at least according to Real96's script), but 04000104 remains elusive. I presumed the memory viewer binned addresses, such that any fluctuations at 04000104 would be captured by 04000100 or 04000110. At least, the viewer implies that's how it works: if I try to inspect 04000104, the viewer takes me to 04000100. But this address doesn't change. You know what does change, though? 040000A0 fluctuates wildly as the intro cutscene plays, at least as fast as 60 fps.
That said, 040000A0 exhibits some unexpected quirks. First, that address remains strangely quiet during certain portions of FLGs intro cutscene. For example, I've noticed that it'll read 0000 0000 0000 0000 during moments when the screen is pitch black. Other times, the address will be oddly regular, with readings like FEFE FEFE FEFE FEFE or even FFFF FFFF FFFF FFFF. Given the former observation, I suspect 040000A0 has some relationship with the game's graphics. It also stays at all zeroes during the "Previously on your quest" scenes. Second, the address continues fluctuating after these scenes end and you can move around. I thought the timer influencing the initial seed was unique to that seed; shouldn't it stop once the initial seed is set? Lastly, I was not able to find any relationship between the initial seed and 040000A0's readings. For example, I once got an initial seed of 1FF9 and kept careful track of 040000A0's readings up until that point. 1FF9 did not pop up anywhere. In fact, none of the RAM addresses in the viewer window (which ranged from 04000000 to 040002A0 for me) seemed to match. It's possible that, since the timer supposedly runs far beyond 60 fps, the initial seed simply showed up at a pace that did not correspond to a specific frame. Searching the memory for the initial seed also brought up no locations besides the expected 02020000.
Eventually (and somewhat anticlimatically), I learned that you can just modify the initial seed directly using the memory viewer. Simply go to the initial seed's location, type the one you want, and you're done! Real96's script correctly displays the new seed. There is one catch though: its advances counter appears to suffer from some kind of integer overflow. For example, advance 41000 can suddenly become negative 4294926295. As you might expect, this glitch makes calibration much more difficult, as I'd have to track what frame I was on before the overflow occurred and do some extra arithmetic to determine what negative advance corresponds to the positive target (the counter appears to still iterate at the correct rate).
I tried seeing if advances, like initial seeds and PIDs, have a distinct location in memory. The script appears to calculate advances using the LCRNGDistance function, which passes in two seeds as "states." Based on some comparisons of these states, the function operates with RAM addresses listed in the JUMP_DATA hash table, meaning I'm out of luck unless I'm willing to do some serious math or programming. (I suppose that, in retrospect, the current advance obviously couldn't be stored in a single location because so many things can influence it.)
Interestingly, directly changing the memory is not the only thing that causes the script to experience overflow (or whatever that error would be—I didn't study CS lol). Back when I first started hunting for specific seeds (i.e., yesterday), I realized that if I make a savestate during the intro cutscene and load back to it after the initial seed has been set, the script will also show negative advances. My guess is the glitch has to do with the getRngInfo function, which resets the advance counter whenever the initial seed is equal to the current seed (which occurs upon resetting/booting up the game since both seeds are 0 at frame 0) or the temporary initial seed (which the script initializes as 0) is not equal to the actual initial seed (which happens the moment the initial seed is set). Because the counter was reset between the two states I loaded, it might have expected a different value than the one it received. Or maybe going from a post-initial seed state to a pre one in mGBA alters the memory such that it affects the JUMP_DATA and messes with LCRNGDistance's value.
Overall, I hope this lengthy post meticulously explained my thought processes, so a kind soul can see where my head is and try to provide some insightful advice on the questions I posted above.
2024.05.16 04:50 AutoModerator IF YOUR NAME IS JONATHAN, YOU SHOULD SPEND YOUR MONDAYS DOING THIS
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