This is going to be a long one so I suggest sitting down and eating a snack lol. This honestly starts back from kindergarten when I first met my boy best friend (21M) who I'll call Joey to keep things private. Joey and I grew up together, we've lived across the street from each other for the past 15 years. I would say our friendship didn't start to pick up till the 4th grade. It was me, Joey, My brother (18M), Tom ( 21M), Diana (21F), and Joey's little brother (18M). Diana was my best friend the girl I hung out with everyday and spent all my time with, shared secrets with. Tom was that type of person to joey. Joey and I have always had some form of mutual crush towards each other and I honestly I believe it started in the 4th grade. Growing up our parents were best friends and to this day still are. So Joey and I spent a lot of time together, we would watch movies, go to the park, go on trips together, go to the the local community street and just hang out we spent all of our time together. The first time I told Joey I liked him was in 5th grade, I've always known I loved him, He was my first love, my first kiss, the first boy I cried about, the first boy who made me jealous although we never dated, there was a lot of first between us. Joey use to be really mean to me, would always make fun of me, constantly chase me, and just in general say mean things and always shut me down whenever I confessed my love to him. Everyone knew I liked him, I would never stop talking about it. Our friends would have us kiss during truth or dare or have us confess our love for each other. Thats just how it was growing up. In middle school is when things started to change and I started to get involved with other guys. It was nothing more than the middle school relationship, just people I liked. I can't remember exactly what summer it was but I believe it was 8th grade summer going into 9th grade when things between really started to pick up. During that summer our family went on 2 week long camping trip and joey and I got really close and he confessed his love for me, but nothing came from it and when we got back from that trip we shared our first kiss together during a scary movie we were watching at my house. After that there was nothing. I started high school and we really drifted apart. I remained with Diana and some other close friend while Joey made new friends and kept his distance. It was like that all of high school. But a lot happened during that time. I dated my first boyfriend who i broke up with within a year and I dated my second boyfriend who I broke up with 3 years ago. My second boyfriend is honestly the root cause to things getting messy. I started dating my second boyfriend at the end of 10th grade, and that summer I went on a trip and Joey and his family and some of my cousins. That trip joey and I flirted a lot, spent all our time together and just got really close. But when it was over it was if nothing had ever happened and I went on to continue dating my boyfriend. Without getting into too much details about my ex lets just say he was a horrible person who physically and mentally abused and manipulated me and basically turned me into the person I am today. He ruined a lot for me and he tore apart my friend group. Joey, Diana, and Tom all saw how much my ex was hurting me and they tried multiple times to get me out of the relationship but It just never really happened and things got messy. Joey continued to distance himself from me and Tom started to fill joey's mind with horrible thoughts about me which honestly really turned joey against me. The summer of 2021 is when I was finally able to escape my ex but the way it panned out wasn't good. My friends first tried to force me and joey to date even if It was as rebound, they used our history as an excuse to get me out of the relationship and well that didn't work. And a month later I tried to kill myself, I ended up in the hospital with 11 stitches in my wrist and lots of therapy. I ended up going back to my ex a few days later. Thats when I saw joey and tom distancing themselves and honestly they said some hurtful things to me. My now boyfriend is the reason I was able to leave the relationship. 3 days after I broke up with my ex, my best friend Diana got with him and yeah thats another story for another time. But basically to keep it simple after that happened they all left me and I was just left alone in pain with my now boyfriend picking up the pieces. Everything went well since then. I grew up and I really matured and got my life in order. But last week something unexpected happened. Joey entered my life again. I was at the bar with my parents when he arrived with his parents, I would be lying if I said I wasn't already drunk, But I was way drunk. And I got wasted even more after joey arrived. But we talked for hours that night and I found myself confessing my love for him all over again. And he started confessing his love and basically he had to carry me home cause I was wasted. I waited 10 years for this boy to tell me he loved me and now I don't know what to do. He went on to apologize for all the things that happened and how he was never there for me and he basically was just sorry. I kept asking him why he never dated me or why he never took the chance when I gave him chance after chance. And he told me he was jealous and mad at me for all the times I went out with other guys and he thought that I didn't genuinely care for him. I basically told him I felt like you constantly played with my feelings. Now I am in a relationship. A very loving relationship fully committed one too. We live together already. But after hearing joey's words and the things I said when I was drunk I feel so conflicted and have no idea where to go from there. Joey told me he would wait for me as long as he is still in love with me. He told me he's been in love with me for that past 14 years and that there's never been anyone else for him. He's never dated anyone the closest he's ever came to was me. My boyfriend knows some of the story he knows basically all the childhood drama and everything that happened, and he knows Joey is back in my life as a friend. I don't know if the love I had always had for joey is the same or if i'm acting based off old emotions. I don't want to hurt anyone but I know someone is gonna get hurt. And for more reference tom joined the marines and isn't really in anyones life atm and diana is getting her veterinarian license. Joey just graduated from college and is joining the army in 3 months. I am just focused on my career and planning out my future with my boyfriend. What should I do. Joey and I have talked a lot about just rebuilding our friendship and getting to know each other again because the last we talked like this was 6 years ago so we definitely have grown and matured since. I love my boyfriend but I worry I still love joey.
TL;DR! - To sum everything up my first love confessed he's still in love with my and is willing to wait for me as long as he loves me. I confessed I still loved him when I was drunk. But I am planning out my future with my boyfriend.

My son is almost 5 and will be starting kindergarten at a gifted elementary school in August. He tested 97th percentile on the NNAT3. He is a voracious learner and we just finished prek yesterday. So we have 3 months that I need to keep him enriched and stimulated. He's reading well on his own and loves reading he also loves science. Are there any books with project ideas and crafts that are science based or general kinder based?
I stay at home and he just wants to learn and soaks up everything like a sponge so I thought maybe just starting kindergarten homeschool will help keep him happy all summer but I am totally lost for resources. I'm having trouble finding resources that aren't religious based for homeschooling is that really such a big thing? We are not religious and I would prefer non religious based schooling.
We love the zoo but it's 110 out in Phoenix so we don't have much outdoor things to do besides swim.
Thank you so much!

I know this is unnecessarily long, so if you are not in the mood for reading, I understand. But I would greatly appreciate anyone who would take the time to read my story that is probably TMI and badly in need of some editing. I just really need some advice from people whose heads are less cloudy than mine.
My fiancé M/42 and I F41 have been together for about 4 years and have known each other since high school. I knew he was a recovering addict when I got together with him but I fell head over heels in love and didn’t see the relapse on the horizon that would occur shortly after the honeymoon phase and would eventually almost kill me - I took a swipe of some mystery powder and touched it to my tongue (fentanyl) thinking it would help me get through the most stressful day of my life as i was ceaning out his place while I was packing him up for detox. It was a total freak accident, I’m not an addict, never done anything like that in my life, I’m a single mom and a kindergarten teacher, but I loved him so much I just followed him down the rabbit hole and honestly just became so disoriented in this world I (naively) didn’t understand or even realize I had signed up for.
Anyway, He literally saved my life, and said I also saved his, because that day is what motivated him to get and stay clean for good despite being an active heroin addict for the majority of his life.
He worked an incredibly thorough program, and he gained more friends, money, and more overall success in 2 years than I’ve been able to scrounge up in an entire lifetime. And it’s no surprise honestly. He’s a special person. Absolutely brilliant, charismatic, driven, and has a heart of gold.
Within a year of getting sober, he moved me and my daughters into a gorgeous home adjacent to a golf course, bought luxury vehicles for both me and him, convinced me to quit my teaching job which was making me miserable, so I could finally be fully present for my girls, and then put a giant diamond ring on my left hand. He completely spoils us. We went from having nothing to having every tangible thing, we could possibly need.
The stability that he provided for us meant the world to a single mom who was barely making ends meet, but it was always just the icing on the cake for me. He’s my best friend in the world, he makes me laugh so hard my mouth hurts from smiling, he show me that he loves even the parts of myself that I don’t find lovable. I found my soulmate.
His program started slipping after 2 1/2 years (last November). He was already struggling in his role of being a stepfather, and we were fighting a lot about parenting stuff. He has a lot to learn, has little patience, and seems to have very unrealistic expectations of my kids. He wanted Parenting to be this effortless thing, and he just doesn’t get that it’s not. And that kids are not always going to behave themselves and that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with them. so we were fighting a lot.
In December, he started complaining about his chronic back pain again (a real issue for him as he’s had five back surgeries due to a snowboarding accident in his early 20s-this was during that height of Purdue Pharma and what got him hooked on pain meds)
While I know he was legitimately in pain, it was also a red flag because pain was the culprit for his last relapse. He decided to go in for a sixth surgery and was told he would have to wait three months. He found a surgeon who has made a lot of profit off of him over the years (as he’s a PI attorney) and was willing to prescribe him generous amounts of pain pills to get him through the three months of increasing pain that he was experiencing. He spent the next three months in bed, depressed, checking out, taking pills depressed, checking out- as I became increasingly suspicious that his behavior was much too loopy for the amount of medication he was being prescribed. I fell into the role of his nurse, and his babysitter. Making sure he didn’t text to nonsense to clients, making sure he didn’t fall and make his back worse, making sure he wasn’t interacting with the kids, etc
I knew he wasn’t being honest with me, but he just kept gaslighting me. It honestly felt like he was psychologically tormenting me, treating me as though I was totally paranoid, heartless and out of line. I thought after the surgery, it would finally get better. I made a promise that I would be there for him because he had never had anyone there for him for the previous surgeries and it had been a really traumatic experience for him in the past. I really stepped up and tried so hard to his rock. The hospital experience was horrific, mainly because no amount of diloted was relieving him of the pain. None of the nurses understood why he needed so much more than everyone else, but I think his tolerance had just become so high.
After that nightmare was finally over I was really counting on things getting better, as the plan was for him to taper off the meds, live pain-free, and get back to normal. It didn’t go that way. It just kept getting worse and no matter how many times I told him that I didn’t trust him he just had an excuse for an explanation for everything. He is a master manipulator and I listened to him do it to everyone, doctors, the pharmacist he formed a “friendship” with, literally everyone.
On Mother’s Day, it got to a point where he couldn’t hide it anymore. He disappeared for the day, Ended up, passing out at a gas station and was unreachable for hours, when he finally came home, the car was all fucked up and he claims it was someone else’s fault. He went straight to his home office and I didn’t see the rest of the night until I walked in on him smoking crushed up pills. After that, he confessed everything to me, including the time that he told me not to check the mail because he had a special surprise for me to thank me for all the love and support I gave him To help him through his surgery. it turned out he had drug dealers sending him drugs in the mail. Needless to say there was no surprise for me me. Just heartbreak and betrayal. I felt like a fool.
I was still processing this the next day when , after insisting on taking a photo of me in these designer sunglasses he purchased for me out of guilt. I asked him not to take my photo, because I had tears in my eyes, but he insisted. He was napping next to me and I opened his phone to erase the photo. we’ve always had each other’s passwords, and have looked through each others photos before for various reasons, sharing photos, etc. I cannot emphasize enough how much I trust his loyalty to me when it comes to anything other than drugs.
But for some reason, all of my photos, the ones I was taking on my phone were showing up in his feed. I was so confused, so I started scrolling through deleting unflattering double chin pictures of myself when I came across that menu photos organized based on face recognition. One of them was his ex. I remember him telling me he deleted all of his photos of her the first time he told me he loved me.
I opened it and scrolled through hundreds of pictures of their happy life together. The pictures got more and more sexual, one of her with her legs spread, another another of them in the bathtub together, her kissing him while he had his hands around her neck, another screenshot of her naked in the shower with a thumbnail shot of him in the corner obviously jerking off to her on FaceTime. Because I’m a masochist I decided to take it one step further and look in his video folder. I found a There I found a thumbnail shot if a close-up of him penetrating her. I watched it and it just completely crushed whatever was left of me.
I’m normally a really passive person, and I just completely lost my mind. I reacted as though I had caught him cheating on me. I just couldn’t handle the physical evidence of such a close up shot of him being inside another woman. It’s stupid because I know, like me, he has a past. Obviously he’s been with other women. Obviously he’s been attracted to them. But it just scarred my brain, I literally haven’t even been able to eat since because I’ve been so nauseous. I know it’s ridiculous, because this is a reality I was well aware existed, but seeing it with my own eyes… I don’t know what to say. Other than that I need a lobotomy.
He says he erased all of those videos and photos from his phone, and something weird happened where all of his photos from the cloud just re-uploaded when he got a new phone. He’s not a technical person and I actually believe him because, aside from being a complete liar when it comes to drugs, he has always show me the upmost, integrity, love and loyalty. So it’s not that I don’t believe him. I just can’t get that image out of my head.
I can’t tell if this intense emotional reaction I’m having would be the same reaction anyone would have if they saw what I saw, or if I’m combining the feelings of betrayal over the gaslighting and the relapse…, the last four months of feeling completely invisible, hopeless, and like he was choosing drugs over me. My mind is like mush and I seriously can’t differentiate between these two very separate issues. I’m so confused, but that’s what gaslighting does to you. It makes you question your reality.
He said that he’s finally willing to go into detox, so at this point, I have waited this long, it would be silly not to stick around and see if he’s finally going to put an end to this. What’s getting me is that he’s still making excuses, still not seeming very remorseful, and is still so deep in self-pity that he doesn’t seem to have any awareness of how badly I’m hurting because of him. It feels like he just doesn’t care. anyone who’s ever loved an addict knows that feeling well.
I’m in Al-anon, and I’m well aware of all of the things I should be doing, focusing on myself, etc. but I’m just not doing well, and I can’t seem to find my way out of this dark hole. Anyone who has made it this far deserves some sort of a Reddit badge of honor. This was more of an autobiography than a simple question. I just wanna hear some outside input because I don’t trust my own mind right now. I’m willing to take your criticism, just please be kind. I know I’ve made mistakes, I’m just hurting so badly. I can’t seem to sort through this. Thank you so much if you took the time to read all of this and still want to respond. You have no idea how much it means to me.

Hi teachers, I have a question. My daughter has had a relationship with her gifted teacher for 8 years. She was diagnosed gifted in kindergarten, skipped a grade, and has had just soooo many struggles over the years. She had this amazing teacher that she would meet with for the gifted program in elementary school, which was a pull-out program. This woman nurtured my child, bonded with her, and tolerated some absolutely wild behavior while we worked to get her adhd under control.
The same year that my daughter moved to middle school, this teacher also moved to the same middle school. So my daughter got to continue having her for her gifted classes which in middle school is a dedicated once a day class. She's been having her lunches in her classroom too, this year.
This teacher has made such a huge impact on my child's life. She's literally been teaching her since she was 5, and now she's 13 and headed to high school next year. I'm at a total loss for how to acknowledge the huge role this woman has had in my daughter's life. Can anyone offer me some ideas? I don't have much money unfortunately, but if I did I'd give it all to her. Seriously, she's the most amazing woman and I cannot adequately express how much she's meant to us.

Not sure if this is the right sub but- Just something I think about every now and then.
When I first came out as trans (FtM) to my ex-partner, they were extremely supportive. I'm using gender-neutral terms here since I'm actually not sure how they identify currently. I haven't spoken to them or seen them in 3 years. When we broke up (due to issues unrelated to being trans) it was pretty messy I won't lie. We were highschool sweethearts, so we were together for long while.
About a year into our relationship, they brought up that they had watched a video that they really resonated with (I can't remember the video exactly but it was a short film relating to gender ) this was the piece of media that “cracked my egg”. We spoke about the video and how it was relatable but never really brought up the video or gender again after that. And about a month later I came out to them as trans. They were super supportive and I'm to greatful for that.
Three years into our relationship (two years after I came out) they began questioning and exploring their gender identit. They leaned mostly towards masc identifying but fem presenting most of the time. Sometimes gender fluid, sometimes non binary. Either way i was a pretty happy that I wasn't “alone” in a sense. Hated that they weren't feeling unsure about their identity because Iknow gender dysphoria is hell…but it was kind of comforting to be able to talk to someone about dysphoria. I would always try and comfort and validate them whenever I could since they did the same for me.
Anyway, when we broke up, we had a pretty lengthy argument and at some point during the fight I remember them telling me that they never came out as trans because they had help me with my transition. They admitted that the first time they brought up that video, they were trying to let me know that they were questioning their identity… but since I came out first they suppressed their feelings so they could support me better. Which they said made them feel worse later down the line. And which is why they felt to confused with their identity.
Now, I struggle to read between the lines so I often miss social cues and nuances in conversations which is something that they knew. So this made me feel like shit for a long time Even though I would help them with makeup, hair and lent them clothes to try support them when they did tell me they questioning, it Felt like I had failed as a boyfriend. Like I somehow stole their idea I guess?
I know gender dysphoria and break up stress can really get to a person so I honestly don't hold any grudges. Just hurts when you think you're doing good but turns out you're not
Anyway TLDR: Ex suppressed feelings of gender dysphoria because I came out first
This was supposed to be a short rant :’)
Edit: spelling

Tomorrow is my country's constitution day and my sons kindergarten has this tiny parade today, I felt like shit but I pushed myself to watch him so his heart would not get broken. I was dry heaving, I was cramping, I started dissociating and everything was bad but I was there for my kid, I could have hidden in my room as I usualy would but I just pushed myself.
What's wrong with me? No idea, could be many things (chronic issues hooray), might throw up might not but who knows. I feel empowered, being a mom gives you superpowers sometimes.

TLDR; friend believes I’m being financially abused and should reach out for help. I’m unsure if that’s actually the case. Not really sure how to tell.
Context - I had been living with my ex for almost two years, above the pub/restaurant he was the manager of. Due to living there, the only thing we HAD to pay was council tax. Any other bills were what we wanted (car finance, phone bill, Netflix etc). I took this opportunity to go back to college for a year, and work two days a week. Working two days a week was enough to cover my bills, and my ex said he would pay the council tax, which was reduced by 25% due to me being a student. This is a long story.
The situation - £5,000 went missing from the pub. Apparently the bag split when it was picked up and taken to the bank (a company comes to do this). While the money was being recovered, my ex had to cover £5,000 until it was all accounted for, as apparently it was in his contract. He came to me asking to borrow £3,000 as he didn’t have enough to cover it all. I reluctant lent it to him, and got it in writing that regardless of the outcome, he would give me the £3,000 back. The money was never recovered.
At this time we were about to go abroad on holiday. The £2,000 he had to give to the pub was meant to pay for the rest of the holiday (deposit paid). He convinced me that they would get the money back and if I paid for the holiday, he would then cover what he owed for the holiday. Stupidly I agreed and paid the £2,000. AFTER I had paid and came back from holiday, he then explained to me he had absolutely no money now until payday (few weeks away). He couldn’t even buy food for his child when she stayed with us, which is something I then also covered. This was August time.
In November, we were due to take his daughter to Disney, he told me a week before we were going that we were driving. Up until this point, I was told we were flying and flights were booked. I told him we cannot drive to Disney as he has over £1,000 worth of working needing doing to his car, low break fluid, an engine malfunction, worn tyres and it was just too dangerous to even drive his child there. His daughter knew about Disney and it had already been rearranged several times. So I told him I can lend him money to take her and hire a car to drive. He agreed. During the same conversation I told him to get his banking up so we can work out where all his money is going, considering he earned over £2000 a month, had barely any outgoings, yet was always poor. He was very reluctant but finally did. Turns out he was spending a lot of money on only fans. Obviously I was devastated and didn’t lend him money for Disney.
Two days later, I received a letter stating council tax hadn’t been paid for the entire year. I then found out he has a CCJ (county court judgement) and due to this, the council sent bailiffs after me as my name was also on the council tax, and they didn’t see any point in going after him as he already had debt. This was another £1,500 (to cover the council tax and bailiff company fees).
Please don’t ask why I didn’t leave at this point, I’m kicking myself for not doing so.
In January, he had another disciplinary (first being the missing money) and lost his job. I won’t even attempt to explain what happened, I still have no idea. Regardless, we had less four weeks for him to find a new job and find us somewhere to live. He did apply for jobs, and started one about 5 weeks later. As for somewhere to live however, I ended up having to do it while working and studying for my exam, while he spent most of the time gaming until 4am, leaving me to sort out everything. It was all very last minute but I managed to find us a house, big enough for us, his child and for him to have a man cave/office. Due to the CCJ, he wasn’t accepted unless his parents were guarantors.
I told him I want no bills in my name (apart from the rent), so if he misses payments, then i want it to be his issue. Come to getting WiFi - he couldn’t because of the CCJ. He came up to me, with the WiFi person on the phone, telling me to give my consent to have it in my name. I asked him if we could have a chat about it first. He told me that the guy is on the phone ready, right now, to get it all set up, and that if I didn’t do this, then I wouldn’t have internet to study for my exam. Due to me being autistic, I heard that, panicked and agreed. Stupid, I know.
He decided to start doing Amazon flex (deliveries for Amazon), and he told me that what he made off that, he would give to me (I haven’t seen a penny). He called me one day saying he can’t get onto his monzo app to send himself money, so I had to send him money for petrol for him to do deliveries. For the first time, I said no. He told me that if I didn’t, then he couldn’t work and get paid to give me money. I still said no and told him to ask his mum. He then didn’t work.
He admitted to me in message that he was reluctant to pay me back in case I ended the relationship. I then decided to end the relationship anyway and am having to live with him until the lease is up in August. We came to an agreement that instead of me paying my half of the rent/bills, he would cover it and I would take that amount off of what he owes me.
Rent is meant to come out of his account each month, but I’ve been receiving emails and texts stating the rent hasn’t been paid. He keeps telling me it’s an issue due to the reference number and that it’s sorted. I had another email yesterday saying we’re 14 days over due on rent. I called the estate agents and they said it still hasn’t been paid. Ex is telling me it has been paid, I’ve asked him to show me on his banking app that the transaction has gone out. He is flat out refusing saying what he does with his money is not my business. I’ve tried explaining that he owes me a few thousand pound and that the rent payment is my business.
I’ve had a friend tell me that this is financial abuse and that I need to seek help before things escalate. The only time things got physical was when I had his phone trying to budget and came across the only fans payment. He tried to grab his phone off me, but I moved as I tried to see how far back the payments go, and I ended up being pushed to the floor (he’s 6foot 6inches and I’m 5foot 4inches for context). He’s very good at gaslighting and manipulating me. Am I being dumb or is this financial abuse?
Sorry for this being all over the place.

Everyone seems to be digging this album, so I suppose ill strike while the iron is hot here - does anyone else find the level of lyricism in this album not only a high point for the band (though frankly, they've always had good lyricism especially for the scene they're in), but also just very solid even out of the musical context?
I'll admit to being a bit of a nerd when it comes to writing and lit, and after listening to the album I sat down and listened again while reading through the lyrics of each song as they played and was left with a few standouts.
1) From the initial track, 'Thirst.'
Followed by the thirst An honest gaze left broken and marred
...
Dragging my knuckles Forward but through the mud Secluded lower form Sickened by my thirst for change
..
Though not the strongest lyrics on the album, still evocative imagery and impressively emotionally compelling while also being careful in its diction. Like the message of the song (and extending to the album, really) the song comes with a sense of jagged brevity which to me adds to the poignancy of it. It also sets the continuing motif of water being an agent of change, the process of grief and loss (of people, identity, and faith) being the core of the album.
2) From 'Don't Reach For Me'
I dream of a cleansing wave Reborn Don't reach for me No lies can spread (Spread, spread) From a tongue removed
..
I dream of a cleansing wave Set me free I return to form No longer bound to mе
Though this track is much more on the nose, largely characterized by the visceral and aggressive dogma that metalcore is known for, is still points back to the previous ideals and symbolism established in the initial tracks. Again we are lent the idea that water will wash away (erode, even) our imperfections. Change will aid in the 'return to form,' grief and harbored grudges 'no longer bound to me.'
3) This one is cheating, as it's really the whole song of 'Moss Covers All' with its 46 second run time:
This house just swallows me It doesn't feel like it did before Trapped in endless rain Barren moor
And all the vines will find their way Through the dirt and hardened clay
The wind and rain will force decay Moss covers all
This frankly reads pretty well even as spoken word poetry. From the established messages of conflicting ideals of faith, self, and loss, we are given the line 'Trapped in endless rain, barren moor.' This deep into the album the layers have been stripped away, and we get the image of rocks, stripped and naked (barren) being exposed to the harsh elements of rain (water) again. Over time, despite everything, this allows moss and roots to crack and mold them. Neat.
4) Jumping from 'Moss Covers All' immediately into 'The Calm that keeps You Awake'
You fill your home with waves Nothing still can stay When the storm starts to recede Parting clouds reveal your grief Nothing still can stay
Hey look at that! Water enacting change again. Who'da thunk? While not super overt and beating you over the head every track, the album continues its steady use of the metaphor. I'm impressed by how lyrically cohesive and well stated the album is, with this never coming across as corny. Again, the imagery lent from the lyrics are both very well done and somewhat understated, especially when examined through the context of typical metalcore lyricism.
5) Closing with 'Sit and Mourn'
Collecting petals of every memory All I'm left with is all I know (I know) Finding my own time to sit and mourn Grief that spreads but will not show
..
A test at every turn All I focus on is strength I will carry you through fire
Loss we share means swallowing pain Will you inherit my grief If I finally choose to sleep?
..
"Why'd you leave?" "I feel like I'vе failed."
I really, really like this closing track. The amazing mixing, use of ambience, and killer vocals / instrumentals aside, I found the change in expression super neat here. Once again we are given the notion of grief expressed as petals. i.e. plant life and growth. While capable of shattering and eroding rocks (barren moore, yada yada) it also can create beauty. Grief then once again can be seen as spreading through the soil, unseen from above.
This final use of the recurrent theme is then given its needed closing juxtaposition, as they express the strength needed to 'carry you through fire.' While the grief and doubt expressed thus far has always been in the processing stage, prone to mourning and self reflection, in this last closing cacophony we are seeing the narrator of the album push aside their own feelings to help someone through the immediate feelings of loss and rage and pain that come from a fresh loss. Then, we get the expressed doubt of if the narrator gives up, will the party they are helping have that fire smolder and die? Will they find themselves dealing with the cold, liquid grief we've heard about up to this point?
The final eerie quote from this track implies that this did happen, and the cycle of the album will continue as this person who could not be helped slips into the thirst for change within their heart, and the constant state of erosion granted by that search.
TL;DR - This album rocks in a lot of ways, and I think the lyrics are a huge part.

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Peering down into the now exposed cavern, I wondered what was in there and consequently how I would even get down there. Ordering my marauder to back up a bit so that they would not fall though or anything of the sort, I began floating back up to the surface before blipping over to the factory and more specifically the modification station. Flipping through the menu screen, I quickly whipped up a modification to my crabs so that they would have a searchlight sitting on their claw arm so that they would not have such a hard time seeing the mines. Drifting back over to the mining outpost, I began ordering for the on site construction crew to begin constructing the new lights onto a few volunteers. As they began the process of constructing the modifications for my crabs, I began gathering up a few flight capable drones from the factory since I doubt that my hounds and ants would have a very good time climbing down a eighty plus degree slope down to the bottom.
Perhaps I should have a few of the hornets have some of the searchlights as well. Certainly couldn’t hurt to have some extra lights. Thankfully at the factory there was a much more sizable spider drone presence so my hornets were equipped with the searchlights quickly enough and were able to reach the mining outpost just about when my crabs got theirs as well. Ordering my drones to begin venturing down into the mineshaft, I was finally able to properly see down in the mines although I suppose I had not turelly needed to. I wonder if this would help the rest of my drones ability to mine out ores. The lack of light surely hasn’t stopped them so I guess they probably can see better down here that I could. As we ventured through the mineshaft, I took the time to look around and found that the tunnels which had been carved out looked to have many small patches missing, presumably where they had found valuable ores and the like. Before long we reached the opening to the cavern which looked to be somewhat expanded by the marauders sub drone harvesters.
Ordering my newly equipped crabs to use their search lights in order to light up the cavern a little bit, I was able to quickly enough make out the forms of what had to be organic life which was rather surprising. Squinting my eyes, I was able to see the vague forms of large fungus-like shapes covering the entirety of the rather large cavern like a warping forest which seemed to be perfectly fine with growing on every available surface. Looking over to my hornets and vultures who had volunteered to take a look, I ordered them, along with the harvesters from the marauder, to begin flying down and begin looking around the area. Switching my perspective over to one of my hornets equipped with the searchlights, I watched as they began to descend down to the bottom of the cavern and where the dozens and dozens of tree sized mushrooms and fungus sprouted out from the ground and created a canopy of sorts.
As we descended, I was able to see that every available spot on the surface of the floor was absolutely covered in moss and fungus which had taken root in whatever rocky soil which they could find. As we continued to look around the cavern, one of my hornets seemed to have managed to spot some sort of constructs near the far end of the cavern and soon enough the hornet which I was watching through linked up with the rest of my force as they moved towards the buildings. As they approached the structures, I was able to make out the general shape of the buildings which looked to be rather squat with the occasional second floor which I took as a sign that they were either rather small or there was more underground. With the help of the searchlights, I was also able to see that the constructs seemed to be absolutely infested with the fungus and moss along with a large amount of other dark growths which stretched out from the insides of the building.
Huh, maybe this is where all the fungus had come from. Perhaps it’s a research building that’s focused on botany or something. Floating down to ground level with the rest of my drones, I ordered one of my hornets to open the doors leading into the building proper which they promptly did so by firing their spike launcher into the joints of the door which caused it to be blown off its hinges. A bit overkill but hey, I’m not complaining. Sending a couple drones into the breach to make sure that there were not any hostile contacts in the building, I made sure to have the rest of my drones on high alert for any signs of activity as something about this place was making my nerves stand on end. Upon the confirmation of no hostile contacts present, I ordered the rest of my drones to enter the building as well, minus a couple of hornets I decided to leave guarding the entrance while the rest of us began making our way through the maze of corridors.
Entering into the building, I saw that the place looked to be just as abandoned as all the other buildings in the city, however this place seemed to not even be touched by ferals and the like looking for shelter. Sure everything looked to be messed up but I could not see a single trace of activity in the rooms as we moved through the corridors methodically, keeping our spike launchers at the ready at all times. Entering a research room of some sort, I saw a large amount of glass containers which looked to have at one point helped strange plants and funguses although most of which had died long ago whenever this place was abandoned to its fate. I guess this helps confirm that this place was some sort of research building focused on plants and stuff. As we continued to make our way throughout the building, my drones and I found more and more of the black tendrils which covered the ground and were familiar in some way, however I could not place my finger on it.
Eventually after looking through a handful more rooms filled to the brim with plant specimens, my drones and I encountered a stairwell leading both down into the underground and upwards to the second floor. I made note that the downwards stairwell had a larger than usual amount of the black tendrils which snaked out from the stairwell before infesting the rest of the building. Deciding that I did not wish to go down there, I sent about half of my force down while I and the rest of my drones went up the stairs and checked out the second floor where there were noticeably less tendrils. As my hornets clambered up the stairs, noticeably avoiding the black vine like tendrils whenever possible, I noticed that there seemed to be some artificial light coming from above which was strange, I would have assumed that all the power had been disabled for these ruins.
Moving closer to the source of the light, we eventually entered what looked to be a control room with a large amount of screens and control panels, most of which were entirely deactivated and in some cases destroyed outright. All except for one which seemed to be a simple control panel with a large amount of lights associated with various sections of the compound like the power generators and various research rooms. Looking around, I eventually found a key stating which faintly blinking meant what and quickly began transcribing each of the dim lights which were still finding enough power to give off a noticeable glow. First to gain my attention was the power generators which were flashing a red light stating that they were completely down, however looking at the auxiliary power systems, they were glowing a faint yellow which stated that they were still at least partially functioning. Guess that explains where this thing is pulling the power from, the pitance that it is.
Continuing down the line of blinking lights, I see that most if not all of the systems making up the building and a few of the other, much smaller, buildings surrounding this one seemed to be more or less non-functional which should be expected given that this place had been abandoned for at least a couple decades. As I reached a few lights noted as containment units and found that most were deactivated or destroyed, I received a few messages from my drones I had sent downwards stating that they had found something that I should probably have a look at. Slipping out of the hornet I was currently in and transferring over to one of the hornets down stairs before coming face to face with what they had found. Floating around, suspended by some sort of force field was a disgustingly large bulbous black clump of flesh with faint blue marks and bulbs dotting around its body. Why in the seven hells does this place have a rot specimen? Sigh, I guess this explains where all the power which the still functioning generators is being pumped into. At least it hadn’t gotten out of its containment, that would make this ten times wors- … waaait a minute.
Looking down to the ground where the black tendrils snaked across the floor leading to two other containment units which were worryingly not activated and had two, thankfully smaller, iterations of the rot simply laying there, as if hibernating. Shit! Alright maybe if we back up slowly they won’t notice our presence. It was then the two rot clumps and their many tendrils began pulsating before marks and bulbs on their body began to glow a faint blue and some began to move. Alright, change of plans. Everyone RUN! My drones were quick to obey as they powered on their wings and bolted for the stairwell as the tendrils began writhing as if searching for my drones. One even lurched out and grabbed one of my hornets as they attempted to escape the building, dragging the poor drone to the ground and more tendrils moved in to help keep down my struggling troops who fought valiantly which thankfully diverted tendrils which were dangerously close to my other drones to quickly flew up the stairs and out of the building.
A few tendrils attempted to stop our escape however my hornets quickly fired their launchers and pinned those to the walls of the building and my harvester sub drones proved to be rather effective as they cut right through the rot tendrils that got close. Taking to the skies as quickly as they could, I could see that the rest of my drones seemed to have managed to get out unmolested by the rot tendrils which were definitely not as numerous as the ones underground and they were now covering the rest of my drones retreat as they fired their launchers and cut down any tendrils which got close. Linking up with the rest of my drones, my various hornets quickly turned their own spike launchers to bare against the tendrils, managing to land a few shots before I ordered them to fall back as one of the rot tendrils lashed out and nearly swatted another one of my hornets out of the sky which I decided was too close for comfort.
Turning around as we flew back to the mines and the rest of my drones, I watched as the far side of the cavern where the facility was began to pulse blue as the rot emerged from its slumber and began moving through the fungus forest. I have no idea how the rot works but given that they’re fleshy, I suspect that letting them feast off of the mushrooms is probably going to bite me in the ass later. Slipping out of the hornets as the flew back to the outpost, I began scrambling to assemble as many fire beetles as I could from all of my territories as they had been proven to be one of my best anti-rot drones meaning they would be instrumental in fending off those things from escaping the cavern. As it would turn out, I was rather lacking in the fire beetle department as I could only assemble about a dozen of them which means that I would have to wait a bit before I could start deploying them en masse.
Deciding to make the process as quick as possible, I began ordering for the construction of fire beetles from every available small drone works in my territory but it would still take a while for them to all fabricate and be transported over here, especially from places like the warehouse outpost and the newer outposts near the front lines. While I waited, I continued to watch as the rot began infesting the cavern with reckless abandon and from where my crab was standing, I could see as one after another the large fungus trees toppled over to be consumed by the rot. As the fungal forest was being consumed by the now fully awakened rot, I began wondering whether or not they would be able to use their newly acquired food supplies to create more of the damned tendrils or even more rot clusters. At least there’s only two, maybe three, of them down there. Hopefully my fire beetles will be able to burn the forest down before the rot gets a chance to eat all of it.
Speaking of which, my drones, a few of the suicidal drones had arrived from the factory and were already making their way down the mine shaft over to my position. Once they arrived, I gestured to a few of my hornets who quickly picked up the four fire beetles before flying down to the base of the cavern before placing the fire beetles amidst the fungal forest which they promptly began burning down to the ground. Hopefully they would be able to burn down at least half of the mushroom tree before the rot could eat it or to my beetles for that matter. Watching as the cavern began to glow a bright reddish orange, I decided to check up on the rest of my territory as I waited for more of my beetles to finish being fabricated and transported over to the mining outpost. Deciding to check on my forces in Ping’s territory first, I drifted over to the outpost that my forces had helped Ping take back which was now returning to what I was guessing was its full capacity.
Checking up on my drones which I had managed to rescue from enemy territory, I found that most had been repaired back to functionality and were now going about their duties which mostly revolved around helping out Pings drones with the various patrols or, if my spiders deemed them unfit, working to assist with the movement of supplies around the outpost along with some light salvaging. A fair amount of my veteran drones had been sent back to whatever force I had taken the form, mostly the force at Churn’s front line with the occasional drone working in pseudo retirement which garrison or mine work afforded them. After all, they were likely needed more at Churn's front line where active fighting was still occurring on a regular basis rather than in Ping’s territory where the corrupted AI was being pushed back as Ping got their feet under themselves as they began pumping out drones and defenses.
Checking up on the outpost which Churn had lent me, I found that the enemy force had begun moving back into the now destroyed production hub however not in any significant numbers as the outpost was likely deemed to be not worth the effort of putting a large garrison there. The forces present were likely only there to inform them if I was making moves to attack more of their territory so that they could make the proper adjustments. Thankfully this newly established enemy garrison could not stop my stealth hounds as they occasionally sent back a member or two of their number to inform me of what was going on in enemy territory. In Coopers stead, one of the next most senior drone which happened to be an ant had been receiving the most recent of reports from the stealth hounds which mostly consisted with random enemy movements and caravans which did not really affect me given that I was not willing to start sending out my force to being taking the fight to the next enemy stronghold, at least not while my forces in Ping were still criminally understaffed and my resource stocks were at a minimum.
Perhaps once things stabilize and more resources become available I will begin tasking my force with attacking however until then I was content to sit around on the defense. The thought of constructing more stealth hounds until I could start having them raid caravans briefly flittered across my mind but I quickly cut that off and stored it in my head for later use once the whole situation with the rot back in the mines is resolved. Speaking of which, as I finished reading through reports and stamping away thoughts of pressing the attack while my supply lines were strained, I received the message stating that the first batch of fire beetles were now finished construction and were beginning to be collected by the subway system and would soon be delivered to the mining outpost. Good, the longer I wait, the more dangerous those things will probably become. Hopefully my beetles will be able to handle whatever they encounter down there.
Floating back over to the mining outpost and down to the cavern entrance, I could see that the initial four fire beetles had done a good job at burning down what they could as I was able to easily see that well over half of the forest had been light ablaze as the fungal trees caught fire and whatever moisture the mushrooms had were quickly evaporated. Regardless, the rot still continued to feast upon the biomass that they could get their tendrils on and from where I was watching I could easily see that nearly a quarter of the fungal forest had been completely taken over and infested with rot puss as the area where the rot had infected began glowing blue as their residue began to take place and fester. Hopefully the fires will also be able to burn some of the rot along with the mushroom trees before the rest of my beetles arrive and with some luck take down whatever is left. But for now I watched the flames as they spread and burned down everything in its path.
Next
Sorry it’s late, I had to GM a bit of DnD which took priority over finishing up and posting this.

I have learned absolutely nothing this whole year because my ap bio teacher never gave a shit about teaching😭... like he would teach but it was so vague and not really in depth ap bio style, and the tests and homework assignments were absolute BS and did not help me at all. apparently he used to be a kindergarten teacher...so just picture someone trying to teach ap bio like that. i feel like i haven't learned anything all year and i don't even know how to explain how bad it was. he is the only ap bio teacher and I've heard from so many people taking his class that they have no idea what's happening and haven't learned a single thing either. now the ap bio exam is TOMORROW😭 and i feel so unprepared with 0 knowledge of bio. i have taken honors biology the year before, which was basically the same curriculum as ap bio with the topics, but the questions were not this advanced and detailed like how ap bio is. like i have a general knowledge of biology but not that detailed and in depth with applications to it. now I'm so scared for tmr and I'm trying to teach myself the whole ap bio curriculum overnight.... how cooked am i????

Hello!
My son, who is 8 years old - has been going to a private school since kindergarten. It is a small school, so he has gone to each grade with the same students, give or take one or two.
Unfortunately, we have to move him into a public school for third grade…
I am writing cards to each of his classmates, to give my contact information - so hopefully, we can still meet up for play dates as he will miss several of the kids.
I have no idea what to write on the cards. Please help 😩! I want them to be cute & creative.

1. Islam is the only religion not named after a person or a tribe.
2. The literary irreproducible miracle is well supported.

Even scholars agree. That's the consensus.
Arthur John Arberry said "to produce something which might be accepted as echoing however faintly the sublime rhetoric of the Arabic Koran, I have been at pains to study the intricate and richly varied rhythms which constitute the Koran's undeniable claim to rank amongst the greatest literary masterpieces of mankind."
Karen Armstrong said "It is as though Muhammad had created an entirely new literary form that some people were not ready for but which thrilled others. Without this experience of the Koran, it is extremely unlikely that Islam would have taken root."
Oliver Leaman said "the verses of the Qur'an represent its uniqueness and beauty not to mention its novelty and originality. That is why it has succeeded in convincing so many people of its truth. it imitates nothing and no one nor can it be imitated. Its style does not pall even after long periods of study and the text does not lose its freshness over time."
E.H. Palmer said "That the best of Arab writers has never succeeded in producing anything equal in merit to the Qur’an itself is not surprising."
Also, another quote "Scholar and Professor of Islamic Studies M. A. Draz affirm how the 7th-century experts were absorbed in the discourse that left them incapacitated: “In the golden age of Arab eloquence, when language reached the apogee of purity and force, and titles of honour were bestowed with solemnity on poets and orators in annual festivals, the Qur’anic word swept away all enthusiasm for poetry or prose, and caused the Seven Golden Poems hung over the doors of the Ka’ba to be taken down. All ears lent themselves to this marvel of Arabic expression."
Also, "Professor of Qur’anic Studies Angelika Neuwrith argued that the Qur’an has never been successfully challenged by anyone, past or present: “…no one has succeeded, this is right… I really think that the Qur’an has even brought Western researchers embarrassment, who wasn’t able to clarify how suddenly in an environment where there were not any appreciable written text, appeared the Qur’an with its richness of ideas and its magnificent wordings.”
Not to mention Hussein Abdul-Raof. "Hussein Abdul-Raof continues “The Arabs, at the time, had reached their linguistic peak in terms of linguistic competence and sciences, rhetoric, oratory, and poetry. No one, however, has ever been able to provide a single chapter similar to that of the Qur’an.”"
Yes, all of them are experts in Quran and in Literature. Lots of credible scholars say that the quran is inimitable.
Laid Ibn Rabah, one of the poets of the seven odes, stopped writing poetry and converted to Islam because of it.
The Qur'an's rhyme scheme is very organized, some of the best out there. Not to mention that it came out spontaneously.
It uses ten rhetorical devices in 3 words at one point. Someone tried to use more. Even though it does, people still mocked it for how it didn't meet the challenge. He used punctuation. (https://www.reddit.com/exmuslim/comments/18o5y0w/the\_rationalizer\_had\_a\_version\_of\_the\_quran/)
And apparently, if it were by a human, it would not contain a challenge, because he would be afraid people would complete it. This book issued a challenge that apparently nobody completed.

1. The Qur'an predicted that the Byzantines will win the Byzantine-Sassanid war within 9 years, even though they lost the recent battle.

The Romans have been defeated in a nearby land. Yet following their defeat, they will triumph within three to nine years.

(https://quran.com/30?startingVerse=3)
Now this is massive because it is unthinkable that a defeated army would win a war.

1. The Qur'an knew that pain receptors are in the skin.

Surely those who reject Our signs, We will cast them into the Fire. Whenever their skin is burnt completely, We will replace it so they will ˹constantly˺ taste the punishment. Indeed, Allah is Almighty, All-Wise.

(https://quran.com/en/an-nisa/56 )

1. The Qur'an knew about the rose nebula.

˹How horrible will it be˺ when the heavens will split apart, becoming rose-red like ˹burnt˺ oil!

(https://quran.com/en/ar-rahman/37 )

1. The Qur'an knew that wind holds the clouds up.

And it is Allah Who sends the winds, which then stir up ˹vapour, forming˺ clouds, and then We drive them to a lifeless land, giving life to the earth after its death. Similar is the Resurrection.

(https://quran.com/en/fati9 )
The USGS say, "Even though a cloud weighs tons, it doesn't fall on you because the rising air responsible for its formation keeps the cloud floating in the air. The air below the cloud is denser than the cloud, thus the cloud floats on top of the denser air nearer the land surface". (https://www.usgs.gov/special-topic/water-science-school/science/condensation-and-water-cycle?qt-science\_center\_objects=0#qt-science\_center\_objects)
The 'Scientific American' says, "Upward vertical motions, or updrafts, in the atmosphere also contribute to the floating appearance of clouds by offsetting the small fall velocities of their constituent particles. Clouds generally form, survive and grow in air that is moving upward". (https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-do-clouds-float-when/).
Peggy Notebaert Nature Museum says, "There are several reasons clouds float: first, the droplets in a cloud are small. Very small..................The second reason that clouds can float in the air is that there is a constant flow of warm air rising to meet the cloud: the warm air pushes up on the cloud and keeps it afloat". (https://www.naturemuseum.org/the-museum/blog/how-do-clouds-float#).
(https://www.reddit.com/DebateReligion/comments/eg25t7/the\_quran\_is\_a\_scientific\_gem\_quran\_miraculously/ )

1. The Qur'an knew that the atlantic and pacific ocean are different colors. They don't mix.

Q55:19-20

He merges the two bodies of ˹fresh and salt˺ water, yet between them is a barrier they never cross.

( https://quran.com/55?startingVerse=19)
If that's not true, how does one explain this photo. ( https://www.livescience.com/planet-earth/rivers-oceans/do-the-pacific-ocean-and-the-atlantic-ocean-mix)

1. The odd-even miracle.

Add the verse count to the chapter number, we get 57 odd and 57 even sums.
All 57 odd sums add up to 6555. Not only is that odd, that is all numbers from 1-114 added up.
All even numbers add up to 6290. That is how many verses in total there are in the Qur'an .
(https://www.reddit.com/exmuslim/comments/ds6juf/yaa\_ayyuhal\_kafiroon\_the\_quran\_is\_mathmetically/ )
Muhammad was illiterate, so how could he even remember his own numbers?
Also, a verse in the Qur'an hints at it, 89:3.

By the dawn, and the ten nights, and the even and the odd, and the night when it passes! Is all this ˹not˺ a sufficient oath for those who have sense?

( https://quran.com/89?startingVerse=1)

1. The Qur'an gets embryology right in considering that it looks like a leech at one point, looks like a lump with a bite taken out of it at another. Also in that hearing is before sight.

You can see Keith Moore, an embryologist show his work with this document. ( https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/1194/79036bd3704127bbb25378174bfcd5b9f088.pdf)
Don't say "Galen" because Galen and the Qur'an contradict on embryology. Also, how did Muhammad know about Galen's work?
This paper by Nadeem Arif Najmi explains it in more detail. (https://www.call-to-monotheism.com/a\_muslim\_answer\_to\_criticism\_of\_\_embryology\_in\_the\_qur\_an\_\_\_by\_nadeem\_arif\_najmi)

1. The Qur'an knew about altitude sickness.

Whoever Allah wills to guide, He opens their heart to Islam. But whoever He wills to leave astray, He makes their chest tight and constricted as if they were climbing up into the sky. This is how Allah dooms those who disbelieve.

(https://quran.com/6?startingVerse=125 )
The highest mountain is Saudi Arabia is Jabal Dakkah, at 2585 meters. (https://peakery.com/jabal-dakah-saudi-arabia/ ) Already, altitude sickness has begun at that height (https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/altitude-sickness ), but I don't think that Muhammad has even climbed that mountain.

1. The Qur'an knew that the ocean is darker as one goes in, and that there are internal waves in the ocean.

Or ˹their deeds are˺ like the darkness in a deep sea, covered by waves upon waves, topped by ˹dark˺ clouds. Darkness upon darkness! If one stretches out their hand, they can hardly see it. And whoever Allah does not bless with light will have no light!

(https://quran.com/24?startingVerse=40 )

1. The Qur'an knew about the water cycle.

Do you not see that Allah sends down rain from the sky—channelling it through streams in the earth—then produces with it crops of various colours, then they dry up and you see them wither, and then He reduces them to chaff? Surely in this is a reminder for people of reason.
(https://quran.com/en/az-zuma21)

We send down rain from the sky in perfect measure, causing it to soak into the earth. And We are surely able to take it away.

(https://quran.com/en/al-muminun/18 )
Infiltration and runoff mentioned.

We send fertilizing winds, and bring down rain from the sky for you to drink. It is not you who hold its reserves.

(https://quran.com/en/al-hij22 )
(https://www.thelastdialogue.org/article/water-cycle-mentioned-in-quran/#Miracle\_in\_the\_use\_of\_word\_%D9%85%D9%8E%D8%A7%D8%A1%D9%8B )
13/14. The Quran knew about the big bang. The Quran also knew that before the devonian age, life was not on land.

Do the disbelievers not realize that the heavens and earth were ˹once˺ one mass then We split them apart? And We created from water every living thing. Will they not then believe?
(https://quran.com/en/al-hij22 )
The second part could mean that even non-carbon life needs water.
Don't say Thales because Thales said that everything came from water, not life.
Bonus: The Sunnah knew that the Arab lands were once green.

The Last Hour will not come before wealth becomes abundant and overflowing, so much so that a man takes Zakat out of his property and cannot find anyone to accept it from him and till the land of Arabia reverts to meadows and rivers.

(https://sunnah.com/muslim:157c )
The Sunnah not only knew that arabia is turning green at the moment, it also knew that Arabia was once green. Ta'ood doesn't mean become, but it means revert. So, it does not mean that it will mean become.
There are lots more prophecies in the Quran and Hadith that have been fulfilled. You can see the yaqeen institute's list right here. (https://yaqeeninstitute.org/read/papeed/the-prophecies-of-prophet-muhammad )

This is the first time I have written something of this length, and is more of an exercise in self-therapy than anything else. Disclaimer: This story contains conversations about child abuse. Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy it.
Nathan’s number appeared on my phone screen. I debated whether or not to answer it. We hadn’t been on speaking terms for a while, and while we did keep in touch sporadically, it was usually because of important family issues. I didn’t know of anything happening with mom or dad, nor with Talia or Rio, so I let it go to voicemail. I could always call him back later. I placed the phone back in my pocket, and returned to cleaning my camera. The phone buzzed again. A text message came through. I read the preview line from the home screen. “The city declared eminent domain on the house” I unlocked my phone, read the full text message, and dialed my brother.
I wasn't able to get any closer to the house than a few blocks. Most of the area was blocked off with chain link fencing and construction equipment in preparation for the demolition that was supposed to take place within the coming days. The barriers didn’t prevent people from walking in to the neighborhood, but it hindered scrappers from coming in and stripping the houses of copper wiring and plumbing.
I grabbed my camera bag out of the trunk of my car along with my tripod. I shouldered it and hooked the tripod to my bag. I pulled my water bottle out of the center console and shut the door. I stood next to my car surveying the neighborhood. 12 city blocks of old single family homes comprised the neighborhood where I grew up. Some of the houses had been empty for months, others for years. There was an eerie silence that permeated the still air. I could not hear the familiar sounds of people, pets, or cars. I locked the car and put my keys in my pocket. I patted my jacket down to ensure I had what I needed. After a quick check, I started my walk.
The sidewalk of the old neighborhood streets still bore the familiar cracks and grind marks from years of buckling and remedy. Leaves dropped by the trees still lay scattered all along the pathways and sidewalk. Korina’s house was the first house I encountered as I made my way through a gap in the fence. The yard was overgrown with tall grass and thistle. I could see the faded blue paint of the old house contrasting the green and browns of the lawn. The chain link fence that marked off the corner property was nearly invisible through the thick brush. As I continued walking west towards 110th, I started to feel something was off. The streets seemed wider than I remembered. It took me longer than I’d like to admit, but eventually I realized what was different. There were no cars.
The streets here typically had cars lined bumper to bumper in any spot available, and were visible from block to block. The absence of all these vehicles made me realize just how deserted the neighborhood really was. House after house, yard after yard, the telltale signs of desertion reinforced what I could see from the moment I passed the construction fence: This was no longer my neighborhood. There were no signs of life, and no one I could expect to find still here. Abandonment was the new normal here. I continued on, glancing at houses and recalling memories of summer bike rides, and daily walks with dogs I used to have. I remembered walks home from school, and chasing after ice cream trucks when they passed our houses. I smiled a bit as I remembered more and more of my years spent here. I don’t quite know just why I was smiling. There were plenty of bad memories here too. Fights, yelling, being beat up, being robbed. I could remember failed friendships, lost loves, and bitter feelings of failures too.
Still, I felt a certain amount of nostalgia despite the weight of these negative feelings. I almost wanted to experience everything again, although I wasn't sure why I was feeling this way. Concrete, asphalt, billboards and liquor stores were the normal vistas of everyday life. Occasionally, after a good rainstorm, the grey haze of smog would lift, and the mountains would be visible to the north. At least, they would be visible until mid-morning when the exhaust from a million cars covered them behind a veil of pollution.
It wasn’t until the first time I travelled out of the city that I realized there was more to see. Traveling up the coast north along the Pacific Coast Highway introduced me to scenes of deep blue ocean water spanning the width of my vision. Driving up Highway 3 introduced me to the permeating scent of Pine and Fir trees. The two-lane stretch of highway from Portland to Tillamook introduced me to lush green forests that I had only ever read about. When I came home to the same old dirty, dusty concrete and boiling summer asphalt, I had made up my mind. I would do everything it took to leave this place. I would not spend another day longer than was necessary living in cramped quarters and fighting for parking space.
I arrived to the house, and paused at the gate. The house sat in contrast of what the rest of the neighborhood looked like. Instead of overgrown grass and tall weeds all over the place, the landscaping showed signs of relatively recent work. The guava tree in the front lawn still had some fruit ready to be picked, and the avocado tree on the other side of the pathway was still weighed down by its own fruit. Flowers still bloomed in the raised bed in front of the house. My brother had clearly tried to keep up on things until the last possible moment. The house, too, looked better than what I expected after walking up 4 blocks and seeing nothing but dilapidated houses and unkempt yards. I opened the gate and walked up to the small porch. The metal gate that enclosed it was gone having been removed by my brother when he took over the property. It looked nice to see it open instead of the cage it once felt like.
I turned the knob on the door, but it didn't give. Ever a creature of habit, my brother had locked the door when he left. Of course, he did. I sighed and prepared to find another way in when I remembered my parents hiding a spare key. I wasn’t sure if it would still be there, but after running my hands along the back side of the gutter downspout, I was rewarded for my efforts. I unlocked the front door and stepped into the front living room, the sounds of my footsteps and the closing door echoing in the empty space. The room felt both larger and smaller than I remembered it. I suppose it was lack of furniture that made it feel larger, but it still felt smaller than I remember. The result of growing taller throughout the years I suppose. I slowly walked along the slate tile floor towards the central hallway that connected the front of the house to the back bedrooms. I wasn't entirely sure that just because the front door was locked, that there wasn't some squatter looking for a little temporary shelter within the back rooms. I carefully and silently crept step by step towards what used to be the bedroom shared by my sister and me. I stuck my head in and gave the room a cursory glance. It was empty, thankfully. I moved back into the hallway and peered into the bedroom across the hall. This is where both of my brothers had shared a room. It too, was empty save for a few boxes holding hardware and doorknobs from the closet doors of the bedroom. I walked back towards the back of the house where my parent's bedroom was. The walls in the hallway bore the dusty signs where picture once hung. The bedroom door was open. I stepped inside, and looked around. The old avocado paint that my mom had picked out years ago still adorned the walls. Walking further towards the addition that was the small room my grandma and grandpa lived in showed that there was no one here. I breathed a sigh of relief as I set my bag down and set up my tripod. I reached into my bag a pulled out an envelope of old photos. These were old snapshots that we had all taken at some point in time in the house. There were pictures of all of us sitting at the dining room table playing a game of Monopoly. There was a picture of my brother and sister sitting on a couch in the front living room. There was a picture of me hanging on the bars of the front porch. I looked through them all and held them in place in front of me as if I were holding a window to the past.
Each picture made the lump in my throat grow as I started to struggle to control my emotions. There was history here, and soon it would all be gone. This is the place where my parents had raised four kids. They had taken care of my grandparents in their twilight years here. My Aunt and my grandmother had both died in this house. Birthdays, graduation parties, and anniversaries had been celebrated here. The echoes of life had reverberated within the walls of this place. Now, the house sat silent. It would never again know happy screams of kids having a water-balloon war out in the front yard, nor would it hear the cries of anguish as the matriarch of the family passed away surrounded by her family. What once was a home full of life was now just an empty house made of drywall and paint. I sat there for a moment contemplating just how much family history was actually made here. As I thought hard about my siblings and my parents, I felt pained at the thought of our strained relationships. We had all scattered once we had the opportunity to be free of each other. My oldest brother had married and moved away as soon as possible. My sister now lived in northern California. My parents too had moved away. I was now living in Utah. Only my older brother had remained behind. The lump grew larger in my throat as tears welled up in my eyes. I held back sobs of anger and pain. Why was I hurting? Hadn’t I dealt with these issues already? I walked back to my old bedroom and sat down under the window. I pulled my head down into my knees and cried. I could hear yelling and screaming in my head. Shouting matches between siblings and parents, brothers and sister, rattled inside my brain, making the pain grow. I sat there and cried. I hadn’t cried like this in a long time. Eventually I ran out of tears and tired gasps of sorrow and regret washed over me as a blanket of drowsiness enveloped me. I leaned my head back and fell asleep.
I woke up to the sound of footsteps. It took me a moment to realize what I was hearing and hurriedly stood up. Had someone followed me? I knew the police were patrolling the area sporadically. Had they seen me enter the house? I knew there would be a possibility of getting a trespassing citation, but I figured I could either talk my way out of it seeing as to how I was a former resident, or I could probably fight the citation in court if the judge knew why I was there in the first place. Ultimately, passing through the gate had been a calculated risk that I was willing to take for the sake of my art. I got up from my corner of the room and moved towards the door. If there was someone in the house, I needed to know. I didn’t want my gear to stolen, and if there was a cop in the house, I wanted to ensure I didn’t get shot.
I was greeted by the sight of a startled chubby boy standing on the other side of the door. His round cherubic face was crowned by a head of short curly hair. His hazel green eyes stared widely back at me. He clearly didn’t expect someone to be here in the house. His body recoiled in fear as he cowered back towards the hallway. “Wait, what are you doing here?” I asked as non-threateningly as I could. The boy muttered something that I couldn’t quite make out. “What did you say? I couldn’t hear you” I replied. “Are you here to rob us?” he timidly responded. “Rob you? What are you talking about?” I asked as confusion set in. “What are you doing here?” It was his turn to be confused. “Uh…I….live here?” he replied. “What do you mean you live here? No one lives-“I stopped midsentence. I hadn’t noticed in my initial shock but the room wasn’t the same. A familiar blue couch caught the corner of my eye. In front of that was an old console TV with a partially broken antenna hanging on the wall behind it. I walked further in to the living room to notice wood paneling on the walls. A large mirror hung on the wall to my left. Familiar yellow lamps sat on round drop-leaf tables on either side of the couch. A large hutch sat in one corner, a collection of letters and bills, mail advertisements, and a phone book covered scattered over it. “What just happened?” I asked out loud to no one in particular. I was thoroughly mystified by what my eyes were seeing. I had walked into the house from the front door and had stepped into an empty white room with slate floor tiles, but somehow now found myself in a furnished room with brown carpet that was all so familiar to me, yet was nothing but a distant faded memory. I turned to look at the boy still startled by the intrusion of a strange man looking wildly around the room in total shock.
“You can take what you want, just please let me go. I don’t want problems.” He stated his voice still shrill with anxiety. I blinked a few times as I tried to process just what the heck was going on. I gathered my thoughts as best I could and tried to reassure him. “Kid, I’m not here to rob anyone. I was just-“I shook my head “Where the hell am I? Am I having a dream?” I asked myself. “I must be dreaming. I’m just tired and still sleeping. This is all a dream. Yeah, that’s it.” I needed to sit down. Being back in the old house must have overtaxed my senses, I told myself. I’d having a dream about an old memory. I walked over to the chair next to the couch and sat down. I sunk into it and rested my head back towards the wall.
The boy kept his distance, but sensed I wasn’t there to hurt him. He looked me over with anxious curiosity. He stood at the far end of the couch, examining me while he played out scenarios in his head in preparation for a quick exit. “Why are you in my house?” he asked me. “Dude, this is all just a dream I’m having. I’m not really here.” He reached over to the couch and picked up a pillow. He reared his arm and threw it at me. It landed in my lap. “I don’t know, man. You sure seem to be here.” He said to me. I opened my eyes, startled. I looked down at the pillow he tossed and examined it. I ran my hand over the fabric and felt its texture. I remember this pillow. This was the pillow I would roll under my head as I lay on the couch and watched TV as a kid. A sudden realization hit me as I looked around the room with fresh eyes. No longer was I blinded by the fog of confusion. I knew exactly where I was.
I was home.
I looked at the boy still standing at the edge of the couch. I looked him over and realized who he actually was. I stared in disbelief as I smiled and tried to put him at ease. “It’s ok Johnny. I’m not here to hurt you. No one is going to hurt you. Please, sit down” I told him. I motioned to his end of the couch. “Who are you, and why are you here?” he asked me.
“This will be hard to believe, but I’m you” I said with an incredulous tone, “I’m not sure how I ended up here, but I’m here.” He looked at me as I had grown a second head. “That doesn’t make any sense. How could you be me? Did we invent time travel? Oh! Are we secret government agents with the CIA?”
I chuckled. “Wait, wait, wait. Let’s start at the beginning. I’m you at 38 years old. You’re…what, 11… 12 years old? It makes sense. I fell asleep under the window in my- our old bedroom. I didn’t come here on purpose or in a machine. And no, I’m not a government agent.” His face contorted to display understanding, disappointment and finally suspicion. His eyes narrowed as he leaned in towards me. “How do I know you’re really me?” he asked. I thought about it for a moment. How could I prove to him that I was who I said I was? A few seconds of silence settled between us. I stroked my chin, thinking of a solution.
“I have a better idea. Ask me questions that only you know the answers to.” “Okay” he responded. He glanced around the room trying to come up with something. His eyes fixated on the Nintendo sitting under the TV cabinet. “What game do me and Nathan have a map of?” I looked over at the NES. I hadn’t thought about this for years, but I knew instantly what he was asking. “YOU don’t have anything. Nathan is the one that made the map for Section Z” His jaw dropped. He tried to trick me, but his plan failed. He knew well and good that Nathan never let him play. It was always ‘I’ll let you play when I die’ or, ‘you can play when I’m done’. The problem was that he never followed through. Usually by the time Nathan was done, the NES was overheated, and the game would no longer load until it cooled down. By that point, it was time for bed.
“How do you know that?” he asked in astonishment. “I know these things because I’m you. Just like I know that you wear t-shirts to the pool because you’re embarrassed by what others will think of your body. I know that you used to think that people that die off in movies were prisoners that were set to be executed from death row, so they used them for making movies. I know all about you because I’m you”
Johnny sat on the end of the couch in bewilderment, his mouth slightly agape. He had never told anyone any of this. He didn’t have any close friends to talk to about such things, and those friends he did have were more acquaintances than friends. There was only one way he could possibly know these things. He was talking to his future self.
I could see Johnny’s mind completely explode. There lay endless possibility and the answers to a million questions he could ask about his own future. He started to ask a question, only to stop, close his mouth, and try asking another. I knew if he kept this up he would have a stroke or something. “Dude, calm yourself. Let’s talk this out rationally, otherwise you’ll end up stroking out or something.” I told him. He took a deep breath and I could hear him muttering quietly. I knew he was trying to form a coherent sentence before he actually spoke it. I did it all the time. “Ok, first of all, are we rich?” he asked with tempered expectation. I chuckled and grinned back at him. “No, not at all. If I was rich, would I be dressed like this?” I replied as I motioned to my beat up brown Vans and worn out jeans and T-shirt. “We-, I – make enough to get by. I’m not poor, but I earn enough to pay the bills.” His face grew a smirk as he commented “Yeah, I figured. What do I do for work? I mean, what do you do for work?” I thought about it for a second. I wondered how much information I should divulge to a younger me. I still didn’t think this whole situation was really happening, but if it was, I probably should proceed with caution. “Well, it’s complicated. I do a little bit of everything. You know how you’re constantly taking things apart? Let’s just say that it’s good to put them back together in order to keep them working. Take good notes on paper if you need to, and make sure you have a clean work area so you can keep track of all the parts.” He gave me a sheepish look. He knew exactly what I was talking about. I had spent countless hours sneaking dad’s tools to my room so I could figure out how something was built and try to figure out how it worked. I had gotten myself into some pretty bad trouble with dad over a drill, his timing light, and other stuff I had taken from his room. His belt had become quite familiar with my butt cheeks.
I gave him a knowing smile. “What else do you want to know?” He thought about it for a second. “Do we have a girlfriend?” I laughed, probably a little more than I should have because his face contorted into a sour frown. “You don’t need to be a jerk about it” he scowled. I continued to chuckle. “Yeah we have a girlfriend. We have more than a girlfriend” I could tell he was irritated with my vague indirect answers. I knew what he was asking. I remember the crush I had on my neighbor across the street. We had been friends since kindergarten, and had been classmates for 1st, 2nd, and 4th grades. We got along really well, and I knew from around 12 or 13 that I wanted to be her boyfriend. Unfortunately, things never progressed beyond the ‘just friends’ stage of things. It wasn’t from lack of effort on my part. We had just grown up together most of our lives that she didn’t see me as anything more than a brother and friend. “Dude, look. You just started to go through changes and you are starting to notice girls, but that doesn’t mean that you need to love every girl that shows you a little kindness or subtle interest. You need to slow down and let things happen naturally. You can’t force a relationship with someone.” Johnny pondered these words for a moment. I sat back and put my feet up on the coffee table. I looked around the room some more while I waited for another question. There was so much I had forgotten, but being back here had unlocked more and more memories that continued to wash over me. I was trying to hold on to my cool as not all those churned up recollections were pleasant. I stood up and walked over to the front door to peer outside the small central window embedded into the center of it. I could see the old neighborhood as I remembered it all those years ago. The lot across the street that served as a parking area for those that worked at the wheel works at the end of the block was empty of cars. I furrowed my brow as I thought for a moment. An empty lot meant it was afterhours or the weekend.
The gears in my own head started turning. “Wait, where is everyone?” I asked Johnny. Johnny turned to look at me still processing my last response. “Uh..oh, Mom and dad are out of town. They took a trip east this time. I think Rio said they are in Arizona right now. Rio and Nathan went out to get some food and to rent some movies from Video Showcase. Knowing them they’ll eat out first. Talia is staying over at Tia Rosie’s place today with her friends.” I grunted at his response. My mind was wandering as he mentioned Talia and Tia Rosie.
A sudden sharp pain pieced my heart. The pain of a thousand memories now unsealed spilled out from the box I had locked them away in. Tears welled in the corners of my eyes as I turned back to look at Johnny. He felt it too. He stared at the floor with an intensity that made me think it would burst into flames at any moment. I walked back over to him and sat next to him. He didn’t move. I placed my hand on his shoulder, and he threw himself into me. I could feel the tears dripping onto me as he sobbed intensely. “Hey man, its ok. It’s going to be ok.” I said as my own tears started to flow uncontrollably. I pulled him close and draped my other arm around him.
I knew the pain he was feeling. It was such a heavy burden, and I knew there was no one he felt he could talk to. I remembered it all so vividly. We sat there for what seemed to be an eternity. When we finally stopped sobbing, and our noses ran dry, we tried to breathe our way through to calmness. I got up and knelt in front of him. “Johnny, listen to me and remember what it is that I’m about to say to you. You are stronger than you think. You are stronger than you believe. NO ONE should ever have to go through this. Just because it happened to Talia, doesn’t mean you have to put up with it any longer. I know you didn’t think it was wrong, but I’m telling you that what she is doing to you is wrong. Talking to mom and dad isn’t going to make them hate you. You are not doing this to her, she is doing it to you. I’m not making excuses for her, but she is also more damaged than anyone realizes, and she is also dealing with the same level of pain you are. Remember that we do unto others what has been done to us. That doesn’t mean we need to continue the cycle of abuse” The lump in my throat grew immense at my own statement. I swallowed it as best I could and continued “You are going to deal with this pain a little bit at a time, and you’ll slowly get over this. It’s like a broken bone. When it happens, you don’t realize how bad the pain is until the adrenaline wears off, but then the immense pain is there. Just remember that this will pass. Just like a broken bone, you will heal over time, and one day, you will realize that the pain is gone and the bone is no longer broken. You’ll remember the pain, but it won’t hurt anymore.”
Johnny sat there in stunned silence. I knew he didn’t have anyone to help him through this. He couldn’t talk to Rio or Nathan about what was going on. Mom and Dad were constantly working to keep the family fed and sheltered and while they provided materially for their kids, emotional help was less available. Perhaps it was due to their energies being divided into 4 kids, a mortgage and multiple jobs, or perhaps it was also the culture of not talking about problems. Either way, they needed to know what was happening. They wouldn’t be able to fix it otherwise. “They’re going to be mad at me” he finally said after a few moments of silence. “No they won’t be. They love us all. I know you’re not used to hearing it, but they do love you. Everything they do is because of their love for us. This isn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. Telling them isn’t going to cause them to be angry.” I thought for a moment to find a good analogy. “You love Odie and Lady, right?” He nodded in agreement. “Ok, how would you feel if you knew someone you trusted was coming to the house and beating up our dogs when we weren’t around?” He thought about it for a second before his face changed to anger. “I’d want to kill them!” “Yes, but would you also feel sad that you weren’t there to try to protect them?” I reasoned. His face changed again. He understood what I was saying. Mom and Dad would be angry, but not necessarily at him. They would also feel a great sadness knowing that someone was hurting their child.
I smiled at him. He understood. I nodded. “Dude…You’re going to come to understand that life is not what you think it will be. Life is messy and can change in an instant. The plans you make today may not make it to next week. A lifelong goal can be derailed because of something out of your control. Mom and dad have spent their life protecting us with the goal of keeping us safe, but circumstances out of their control have affected their kids, and now we- you all have to deal with the fallout. Just remember that you are not the culprit. Yes, mom and dad will be hurt and angry, but not at you. Trust them. They don’t do things to hurt us” Johnny hugged me. I- He didn’t have many people he could trust and open up to. He liked to talk a lot about everything going on in his life, no matter how trivial. Everything, except this. This was a shameful topic, and he didn’t feel like anyone would understand why he didn’t go to an adult sooner. The problem was simple. He simply didn’t understand that it was wrong. Now that he had an adult that he could talk to, himself no less, he wanted to lift this burden off his shoulders. He was happy to have found someone and he hugged me tightly. I hugged him back just at tightly. It wasn’t every day that I could meet my younger self and help to comfort them. “Thank you” he said to me.
The world darkened, and everything faded to black.
I lifted my head out of my knees and looked around. I was sitting under the window in my old bedroom again. Had I fallen asleep? I pulled my phone out of my pocket and checked the time. I was emotionally drained and incredibly tired. I hadn’t had sleep like that in years. I got to my feet and looked around the room briefly before walking out to mom and dad’s old room. I grabbed my camera and slowly walked the house, snapping picture after picture. The only sound to be heard was the sound of the camera shutter and my soft footsteps. I thought about my dream as I took pictures.
Upon entering my room, a random memory hit me.
The stash.
I was pretty sure I had taken the hidden box when I moved out all those years ago, but since I was here, I should double check. Heading into the closet, I pushed the panel that led to the attic space out of the way and peered in. I couldn’t see anything, so I reached up there to feel around. The box was indeed gone. I felt around for a few more seconds and was surprised to feel what felt like a thick envelope. I didn’t remember leaving anything up there, but after pulling it down and giving it a cursory glance, I figured it was an old envelope of lost love letters. It wasn’t until I blew off the thick layer of dust that I realized what I was holding. It was a letter. Not just any letter. It was addressed to me.
Under the now semi-cleared layer of dust were the words “To be opened by future me”. I looked at it for a few moments before opening it. I couldn’t remember making this at all, much less storing it up in my secret hiding spot. If ever I hid something, it was in the stash box. My hands shook a bit as I started to open the envelope and pulled out the yellowed pages inside. I started reading.
"Dear Future John. I have spent the last few years remembering a dream I had when I was younger. Life was…difficult at that time, and I spent a lot of time escaping my reality by reading a lot of books and watching a lot of TV. On the off-chance that what I think is a dream really happened. I wanted to write some things down in an effort to give you my thanks. I merely consider myself a conveyer of thanks, although I will pile on my own thanks to you for your words of encouragement. I remember finding a stranger in the house one day while I was home alone. I was afraid he was there to hurt me at first, but after a few moments, I came to realize I was meeting myself. Well, I was meeting me, but from the future. I think he said he was in his 40’s, but I couldn’t tell you with any certainty. Either way, we talked. We talked about life, and what the future held in store for us…
Mostly though, we talked about the abuse. Well, Talked is being generous. We cried, and then we talked. I don’t remember exactly what he told me, but I remember how he made me feel. He made me feel safe. I felt like I could trust him. Trust myself. In the end, he gave me the courage to stand up for myself both at home and at school. He also gave me the courage to talk to mom and dad about what was going on between me and Talia. I do remember being afraid that I would be punished, but he reassured me that they wouldn’t, and that they loved me.
It was a difficult and awkward conversation, but in the end, arrangements were made for me to share a room with Rio and Nathan. I didn’t have much of a relationship with Talia for a long while, but after some years, we managed to patch things up. She apologized to me, and I came to understand the abuse she herself was subjected to by so-called family friends. She didn’t tell me this in an effort to excuse it, but to merely help give me closure to a difficult time from my own childhood. Mom and dad promised to be more attentive to us and we sort of established what I guess you would call an open door policy. We talk more about stuff that’s happening in our lives. Mom is much easier to talk to now. Dad is a little more patient with us too. I apologized to them for not coming to them sooner, and dad gave me a “nugget of wisdom” that I think I’ll live by: We can’t fix what we don’t know is broken. I’ve tried to make sure I talk to them when something is wrong, and I’ve tried to implement that in my life so I don’t have problems with other people.
I’m trying to grow up to be a good guy. I want to have good relationships with people. Nathan says I’m turning into a people pleaser, but I don’t necessarily see that as a terrible thing. I know when to say no to someone. Well, either way, I wanted to make sure I thank you for the help you gave us. I probably won’t remember writing this, but I hope I do find it again someday. Here’s hoping I turn into the man I feel you are. -John Age 16."
I stared at the letter, the words blurring as tears welled up in my eyes. I quickly brushed them away as I quietly spoke to no one in particular. “Thanks guys. I hope I live up to your expectations” I folded the letter, placed it in my pocket, and walked out of the room. After picking up my backpack and tripod, I silently walked towards the front door, my footsteps echoing in the empty house. I turned to look back at the empty living room one last time, and after a moment, I walked out.

TLDR: how do we get our 3.5 year old to poop in the potty instead of pull ups?
I have heard this is mostly an issue with boys but girl moms, please offer any wisdom you have! I’ll take any and all advice.
We (mostly) potty training our now 3.5 year old last summer. He pees in the potty consistently and hasn’t had an accident since October. However, he refuses to poop in the potty. He holds his poop until evening when he knows we’re going to put him in a pull up overnight and poops then. We then give him a fresh pull up overnight. He then poops again in the morning within a few mins of waking up. He will then take off his sleep sack and PJs and picks his clothes for the day. He usually poops in either a standing or squatting position.
We know he controls when he poops but he flat out refuses to poop in the potty - we’ve tried a big and little potty. This stresses my husband out and he is convinced our son will go to kindergarten in 3 years still unable to poop in the potty 🤦‍♀️ I’m not worried about that but still want him to learn sooner rather than later.
When we had our second 6 weeks ago my husband decided that during his 2 week paternity leave it was the right time to tackle him pooping in the potty even though I tried to tell him it wasn’t a good idea. He spent 2 weeks stressed and trying to coerce our son to poop on the potty any way possible (reading, watching the show of his choice, the promise of a new desired toy, etc). Of course our son successfully pooped on the potty once (and was heavily praised and rewarded) but has since refused to even try.
This week is his last week of “school” (daycare) until the fall so my husband really wants him to get it this summer. I think we should continue to offer him the opportunity to try it multiple times a day and assume he will get it at some point. Husband thinks we should be more aggressive in making him try. So now I’m trying to figure out what might work because my husband being stressed about it stresses me out and I just want to make it through summer with both kids without spending insane amounts of time batting a stubborn 3.5 year old.
Things that we have tried/have happened that we thought would be motivating but have not been: - knowing all of his friends at school poop in the potty - knowing all of his cousins, aunts, uncles, etc poop in the potty - showing him how babies (like his newborn sister)poop in diapers (or pull ups) but he is a big boy who can poop in the potty - having him skip the pull up overnight so he wouldn’t have that safety net of just being able to poop in the pull up (NOT doing this again because I hated going from nursing a newborn in the middle of the night to comforting a distressed 3 year old who woke up covered in pee and need Mama to help him go back to sleep, to back to nursing the newborn) - accidentally pooping in his underwear once and talking about how it was an uncomfortable mistake but in the future he can poop in the potty - trying to convince him to poop in his pull up while sitting on the potty or even standing near it (flat out refusal to go near the bathroom or have the little potty brought to him)
Please give me any suggestions you have - how have you gotten your kids to poop in the potty?

Sister Pat tried to make vivid certain stories from the Gospels by setting up groups that were to frame the events as if the participants in the events were being interviewed live on television. Ok, one might think, how creative. Yet, one group was assigned to do the scenario of Jesus carrying the cross. A couple of girls pretended to cry into handkerchiefs, but one unpleasant girl, when asked by the student playing the reporter why she was there, she snarled, "I came to mock him. Ha!" Way too much into it.
The processional hymn for the May Crowning was Sing of Mary. Because of its specific rhythm, we ended up practically skipping and waltzing.
At an Easter Vigil Mass many years later my brother Steve Grunow before he became a priest, someone (I must say probably a folk guitar nun like Sister Pat), came up with the idea to have an elderly African American gentleman read the creation story with embellishments I think from some folk tale version? So he was saying that God was on his throne with a crown of stars and he got lost and kept repeating it, then he started saying Glory to God, and finally, I don't know what I am doing. He had to led down from the lectern. We did not know whether to laugh or cry. Mortifying.
Later at the Mass a woman who looked like Maude practically shouted one of the readings. There were several catechumens receiving sacraments for the first time at this Mass.
At one point during their reception into the Church we started saying the Litany of the Saints. Then I started hearing Saint Sandy, pray for us. Saint Tiffany, pray for us. What? So the catechumens were saints? Or perhaps we were supposed to think of them as potential saints?
Monsignor Hayes burped very loudly after drinking the wine when I was serving at a daily Mass. He also yelled at a class because they did not know Hail Holy Queen. My mother when we told her, said, we'll, I don't know it either.
Kids routinely fainted during the Benediction after the Stations of the Cross on Fridays during Lent.
Sister Betty split us into groups during religion class. We were supposed to act out Jesus telling everyone the temple would be destroyed in three days. Kids were knocking down stacks of books and stacks of wastebasket.
One day it was raining so instead of gym outside we had board game period with Sister Betty. The period was short so there was barely any time to set up, much less play the games. One group of jock boys decided to play the game of Life which takes a while to set up. Suddenly we were told to put the games away. This group frantically threw everything back in the box with the spinner on top, causing a bulge when they put the lid back on. Sister Betty noticed and yelled, "Fix that game. It's lumpy!"

Understanding "Lo Que" vs. "Que" in Spanish

Learning the difference between "lo que" and "que" is essential for mastering Spanish as an English speaker. Both of these phrases can translate to "what" or "that" in English, but they are used in different contexts.

1. "Que"

The word "que" is a relative pronoun that means "that," "which," or "who" depending on the context. It is used to introduce relative clauses, providing more information about a noun mentioned previously in the sentence.
Examples: - La chica que estudia español es muy inteligente. (The girl who studies Spanish is very intelligent.) - El libro que está sobre la mesa es mío. (The book that is on the table is mine.)

2. "Lo Que"

"Lo que" means "what" or "that which." It is used to refer to an entire idea, concept, or unspecified thing. Unlike "que," it doesn’t need an antecedent (a noun it refers back to) and is often used to emphasize a statement.
Examples: - Lo que necesito es un descanso. (What I need is a break.) - No entiendo lo que dices. (I don’t understand what you are saying.)

Key Differences

1. Antecedent: "Que" usually follows a noun it refers to, whereas "lo que" doesn’t need a specific noun before it.
2. Context: "Que" is often used in relative clauses to add information about a noun, while "lo que" is used to refer to concepts or ideas more broadly.

Examples in Sentences

Using "Que": - La película que vimos anoche fue interesante. (The movie that we saw last night was interesting.) - Los estudiantes que terminaron el examen pueden salir. (The students who finished the exam can leave.)
Using "Lo Que": - Lo que más me gusta es la comida mexicana. (What I like the most is Mexican food.) - Dime lo que piensas sobre el plan. (Tell me what you think about the plan.)

Practice with Pal

Want to get better at differentiating between "lo que" and "que"? Practice makes perfect, and Pal is here to help!
A. Go to [Get-Pal.com/WhatsApp/](Get-Pal.com/WhatsApp/)
B. Create a sentence using "lo que" or "que" and send it to Pal: - For example, try a sentence like "Lo que necesito es aprender más gramática" (What I need is to learn more grammar). - Or "El libro que me prestaste es muy bueno" (The book that you lent me is very good).
C. Pal will review your sentence, correct any mistakes, and keep the conversation going! If you're ever stuck, just ask Pal for help. Consistent practice will help you become more fluent.
Remember, the best way to learn is through continuous practice and real conversation! Happy learning! 🌟

Hello! I’m here with another question. During ap i’m always scared because I don’t know how to wake up and I always ask my spirit guides for help. More than once someone appeared and told me something linked to this number. For example once a woman came to me and she told me “you’ll wake up when the management decides so” and then showed me my phone with a timer starting from 21. Tonight I met another woman and I asked her for some protection and help. She said okay but wanted 21€. I lent her the money but then i took them back. Any idea what this number could mean? Thank you in advance

PSA #1: u/pep-- is going to post a weekend live thread for the weekend, we think the weekend definitely deserves it. He just needs to finish his homework first.
PSA #2: We now have a new fancy very very blue RAUM flair. I know some of you are sporting an improvised RAUM flair so now you can grab a real one. Apologies, should have done this way earlier.

I'm gonna keep this one short, I'm gonna keep this one short, I'm gonna...

Helllllooooooo bbs, I'd like to announce that THE WINTER IS OVER, the sun is out, we are getting new sunglasses because we lost all of them at parties last year (no? just me? goddamn berghain took like 3 pairs, alongside my dignity), we are showing skin, sweating balls, getting hornier again, annnd.... Entering festival season, so let's talk about that.
This weekend we have three festival contenders:
Awakenings Upclose (timetable)
Big, big up to Awakenings programming/booking and marketing team. Awakenings until now felt like a festival to avoid, but somehow, Upclose seems to be the place to be. Everyone I know and their mother will be there, including me, but not my mother. She's coming to Lofi for Die Rakete in two weeks, but that's another story.
My plan for Awakenings is:

• a low dose of acid
  • haha for legal purposes I swear that was a joke
• turn off my phone
  • this I very much recommend
• Polar Inertia (Sat)
  • there's a chance you haven't heard about Polar Inertia (and your hardtechno friends definitely haven't), because it's one of those projects that are half-dormant, rare to catch, and you kinda have to know to know.
  • keywords are ambient, experimental, deep, elegant, I also hope for cold and creepy but that might be just me
  • they recently (ish) released a set with Monument, go get a taste
• Sandwell District (Sat)
  • Sparkles fangirling over Sandwell District - Exhibit A
  • Sparkles fangirling over Sandwell District - Exhibit B
  • more than a 20 year old label/group/act responsible for my currently favourite track ever that woke up from hibernation last year, and started releasing new stuff that I also love
  • also known as mainly Function and Regis, but other names floating around are Rrose, and Silent Servant... that one isn't floating around anymore, unfortunately 💔
• otherwise fuck around and find out
  • I mean walk around without expectations and see where I end up

Some other maybe noteworthy things in my opinion:

• check out the hard techno stages
  • Vera Grace is actually good , and so is Somniac One
  • I'd check out Rebekah and SNTS out of nostalgia, I like how they used to play and I have a tiny sliver of hope that they might bring some of that to Upclose, yes, but also, probably not, oh well
  • I wish I could say the same about 9x9 because they used to play awesome live acid (bitches love livesets), but I have zero hope they will pull that out again, oh well
• Colin Benders x Speedy J
  • two total legends from the NL, they are known to deliver ✨education✨
  • Colin is a joy to watch playing, also I think it's gonna be a hybrid / live (and bitches love livesets), because I have never seen Colin DJing ever - does he even know how to mix? I don't think you should know how to mix if you can just conjure tracks out of thin air and a big bunch of cables...
  • Speedy J
    • Speedy J with Colin Benders
  • They could theoretically play quite hard, both are very well capable of it, don't come crying if they do, also check out this set of Speedy's violent alias Public Energy at Unpolished 2020, because that's the education I'm talking about
    • I mean even Speedy J as Speedy J is violent
• CEM & MCMLXXXV
  • fun, banging, fun, cute

Lente Kabinet (lineup)
Not my thing, know like 2 and a half names on the lineup, someone hype something in the comments please I'm lost, it's not techno, ugh.
Draaimolen Island x Sustain-Release (timetable)
Looks cute, is sold out, please write thorough reviews in the afters, I'm curious with a slight tinge of FOMO 😇

You can also go check out the May Festival Monthly from u/Motionez to see their take on these.

Let's look into pre-parties on Friday now:
DINA, KI/KI & Nelly at Club RAUM
Sold out (tickets at the door though), but I need to fangirl here anyway, because fuck damn, this is RAUM finally bringing a lineup that finally really speaks to me, and it's not even about KI/KI for me, let me explain:

• I am still haunted by memories of what Nelly did to me at Ratherlost NYD, one person I don't want to publicly shame (I miss you u/bleepbloopbarbatruc, and btw I finally kinda learn to spell your username) said "Nelly is a warmup DJ, can't really imagine her in a different slot" - SO DAMN WRONG. She absolutely killed the preclosing slot with a a tense, organic/tribal, deep, terrifying set that just filled the air in the room with something. Yeah yeah, going that deep is not everyone's thing, but hey, house isn't either, blabla.
• I haven't heard DINA play in person yet but I did my research and I'm excited. She can definitely pull off a wormhole, but isn't afraid to step out of it as well and play something actually euphoric, or heavy hitting borderline tekno, and yeah, she just has 🔥range🔥 and definitely knows how to use it, I don't know who decided to book her there but THANK YOU.
• and of course, KI/KI. It's always a treat to get someone so big/popular, talented and good to play in an intimate venue, and on top of this, KI/KI and RAUM go way way wayyyyy back and you can just feel the love there.

See ya there bbs, all the other Friday events can go home. (Garage with Fever Dream might be cool in a signature-garage-weird way, and there's one other event that I avoid mentioning, and people always come after me with wHY DiDN't You MeNtiOn THaT OnE... so yeah, that one)

That's done, let's talk about afters:
Awakenings Upclose After Hours at Radion and Bret (RADION timetable, Bret so far unannounced)
Nice blend of the locals like Thoms Traxx and Hashashin and infamous Berliners like Function and Quelza in Radion, I mean, can't really go wrong there, can you. But yeah, not much else to say.
I would have absolutely loved if they did some non-standard stuff like one of the big hard techno names playing a surprise, unnanounced sunrise house set in Bret (can you please take a moment and imagine SNTS doing it), or do open decks w/ the Funk Assault babes and Beau Didier, Isaiah, and idk Flits and Hitam? Not gonna happen, but a girl can dream, right.
131bpm, Marie Malarie, Naone & Lola Edo at Club RAUM on Saturday
If you're done with techno for the day and want to go shake your ass, wave your spine and wiggle your elbows, this is the one. I really like Naone here, she recorded a set for Harmony Rec, a label I will always simp for, and generally I like her take on house, where she sometimes dives deeper than you would expect from a house set, and you can generally hear interesting sounds in her sets, which is not really a a thing in that... genre. It's like someone forced DJ MARIA. to play house. Did I just offend two artists with one sentence? Sorry dears, I love you both.
DJ Nobu, Cobahn, Nelly at PERRON on Saturday
I don't want to mention this one, but kinda can't not bc Nobu. Done.
Vibrant with Nur Jaber at Melkweg on Saturday
u/sinacuk slid into my DMs asking politely and nicely for a shoutout, so here it goes 💖

Hellooo! As Vibrant we have another event on the night of 18th of May with Nur Jaber, Bours?, and 7Circle. It will be at the OZ room of melkweg, with an intimate atmosphere and no phone policy. We are designing own lights once again with Kraft Und Licht as well. Also we are going to have art exhibitions.

I'll just add that I saw Nur Jaber closing Berghain once, and it sounded like forks in a high speed mixer while your aggressive neighbor is trying to kick your front door in. This was a compliment. Nur Jaber is cool, because she also does this.
Talismann b2b Makam all night long at Levenslang on Sunday
Rumor has it that if he plays without a shirt, it's Talismann, if with, then it's Makam. Playing a b2b with yourself all night long feels like a recipe for a personality disorder, or you already have to have one to come up with this idea. Jokes aside, Talismann is good, so is Makam, this is a cool, novel, and deranged idea, I can get behind this.
UNUSUAL at Radio Radio on Sunday
First party from a project of one cool person from the former DS team, doorsale only, unannounced lineup (released podcasts may or may not betray some of it though), they clearly trust their network, friends, and people-who-just-know to show up. Respectable, good luck, godspeed.
Slapfunk at Bret on Monday
If you STILL want to party the fourth day in the row, Slapfunk gotchu. Lineup TBA, but it's probably gonna be boom tsaa boom tsaa boom tsaa or papm papm papm pupururu. Ideal for your last remaning braincell to bounce around.

Unrelated to the weekly, but important - if you have been an active part of this sub also last summer / fall, and feel close to the other notorious shitposters here, slide into my DMs, I might have something for you.

That's all folks, I made a long one again.

I have a 4-almost-5 year old who has always been a brilliant, sweet, and EXTREMELY stubborn child - since she was a baby. She loves to be helpful but does not appreciate boundaries and thinks everything is negotiable. She is neurotypical. School reports she is a perfect little helpful angel who gets along with everyone.
She loves to have jobs to do and loves to challenge herself. She also loves to challenge us. She's never been a huge tantrum thrower but will definitely chafe at boundaries and hold a grudge for a LONG time.
In the last few weeks this has escalated into near-daily rage meltdowns at slight frustrations. When she gets to that point she gets in an infinite loop of rage and DOES NOT exhaust herself. She'll demand apologies from us, apologies for making her upset, etc. She'll go off to try to calm herself down and we can just hear her screaming in frustration, then she'll run back toward us and yell, or act like she's going to hit us.
It's mostly in the evenings, so we do think tiredness is playing a role. But it's so extreme and so new that we're starting to worry something is WRONG with her. These meltdowns will last 30-45 minutes.
She's about to graduate from Pre-K next week and then will go to summer camp and start kindergarten in the fall. She does still nap at school as far as we know. She gets 11 hours of sleep, no tablets, and a small amount of educational (PBS) TV each week.
Any idea what might be going on? Anyone else have experience with this? Is it the age? A growth spurt? Posessed by demons?

**I am NOT OP. u/ThrowRAexnocustody is the OP of this story.**
Trigger Warnings: Physical abuse, emotional abuse, drug use
AITA for telling my daughter's biological mother that she doesn't deserve to call herself a mom?, Posted October 14th, 2023
I (26F) am engaged to my fiance (33M) Brandon and have grown close with his daughter Lucy (4F). Lucy's biological mother Natalie (30F) has lost all physical and legal rights to her daughter due to neglecting her severely when Lucy was an infant, not to get into great detail but Natalie is addicted to opioids and Lucy had a withdrawal period.
Lucy and I have gotten close as I have dated my fiance for almost 4 years, Lucy was born 9 months before I came into Brandon's life, we met at the hospital as Lucy had some major health issues in her infancy due to Natalie and I have a chronic illness that pushes me into pancreatitis. She now calls me Mama even though neither I nor my fiance asked her to do so. I read her bedtime stories and I'm helping her learn to add and subtract.
During a get-together for Brandon's birthday I hosted at his house, Natalie showed up with her new boyfriend neither were invited. She tried to give Lucy a hug but Lucy didn't know her. She came to Brandon and me instead and told us a stranger had come. She then asked me to make up her plate because Natalie began to throw a tantrum in the middle of the party shouting about how she was going to take Brandon to court and because she's the mom she'll win full custody because she deserves to be in her daughter's life. During this time Brandon took Lucy inside because she had started crying because she was scared.
I admit I snapped. I told her she has no right to call herself a mother because she abandoned Lucy to go get high and sleep around. She hurt my baby so bad that she's 4 and needs to go to therapy and has physical health issues because of her. That she refuses to put her baby first and at best she's an egg donor. I told her to get the fuck out of my house and never come back. She wailed all the way back to her boyfriend's car.
I admit I think I went too far. I know that drug addiction is a disease and people who suffer from substance abuse disorder need help, I think I went too far saying she was at best an egg donor. Brandon said I did nothing wrong. AITA?
Final Verdict: NTA
Relavent Comments:
NTA
MARRY then ADOPT Miss Lucy

As soon as we finalize our marriage!

NTA but prepare for worst:
It's concerning she got into your birthday celebration. Who told her about the time and place? Who opened the doors? Talk with a lawyer about all the possibities.
Ex-mom is delusional and selfish. There are two most probable outcomes: your extreme and emotional reaction knocked some sense into her that she has zero chance to make it work. Or, worse, she will retaliate and fight for custody just to prove to herself you were not right and she is not a bad mother.

I think my STBMIL told Natalie's mom. As Lucy has a relationship with her bio grandma.

Sounds like it's time for a talk. This may have been a slip up or you may have a leak.

It was a slip up. She posted about the "Last BBQ of the year" And "Happy Birthday!" on Facebook.

YNTA. This person showed up uninvited at your fiance's birthday party and became unhinged? If it happens again, call the police so it is documented. I know she is an addict but she has no right just showing up. Have her parental rights been terminated? It sounds like she has lost her rights but there is thing called a TPR. Also if Brandon had an attorney he should let them know this happened. Let Lucy's therapist know too. You are in effect the mother and I hope you get married right away.

Yes they have been terminated.

OP, in your post you mentioned that Natalie has left the family to sleep around. Do you and your partner know for sure he is the bio father? I have no idea where you live and how family law works under these circumstances, but maybe just make sure you are on the safe side? All the best for you and your little family.

Yes, to get full custody, Lucy and Brandon had to get a DNA test, he's the dad.

Why did he get an addict pregnant in the first place?

He did not know she was an addict at the time and she poked holes in their BC.

Super off topic but right?! And in 9 months he found someone else to essentially become a mom to her. Oof.

We were friends almost a year before we started dating, my room was the one next to the picu, and he'd pop in for a chat every so often when we were there at the same time. He is a walking green flag who takes responsibility for his actions.

So instead of him being concerned for his kid... he comes and flirts with you. You were only 22 at the time and he was almost 30. Why are you fighting his battles for him? He should have been speaking with BM not you. Plus he had a new chick to raise his kid for him. You see green flags while I see red.

He walked into a quiet room while Lucy was getting a babygram... he looked exhausted so I let him play Assassin's Creed II on my console and we got talking. I told him I wasn't perma but was having an extended stay so if he wanted to talk to an adult about anything but babies my room was between the PICU and the Mat ward.

ESH. She shouldn't have shown up causing a scene unannounced. But she's not your baby. This was not your fight to have, it was your partners. You overstepped. You did go too far.
And I don't believe she has anything to do with a four year old being in therapy for something that you claim all happened when she was an infant.

She is in physical therapy for a hip dysplasia that she struggles with due to Natalie dropping her when she was an infant, she also has significant trauma from the severe neglect.

I'm not doubting the physical issue. I'm doubting the therapy. You said she lost custody for neglect when she was an infant were you hyperbolizing or was she actually under a year old?

No she has major emotional trauma from the extreme neglect. She has night terrors and she doesn't know how to explain them. It's play therapy for now, but will transition to talk later on.

NTA
You have been this child's mom. You.
Bio-mom cant just come rushing back into the child's life on a whim. She lost her rights (im assuming) by court decree. That means If she wants her rights back, she has to go through the courts and prove that she has changed. Obviously that hasnt happned yet.
You do have the right to react like you did, but since Lucy is in the dark as to who this other woman is, you would have better served her by just telling the woman to get out of your house. These comments may be used against you later with relatives and the courts, although who knows to what effect. Its still going to be a headache for you.
The judgmental comments (while I agree with them) are something you dont technically have the right to make yet. Once you are married and better established as a family unit, you will have a better leg to stand on. While I hope bio-mom gets her head out of her arse and gets her life together, I dont have much faith in that.
If you eventually are allowed to adopt, please do so, as that child needs you. Keep up with being the good mom that you are though.

Lucy is aware that she came from another mommy's tummy and that I'm an adult who loves her, and whom she considers her mom. She is aware that she has a biological mother and that I am not her bio-mom. She doesn't know her bio-mom was Natalie. If she got clean, Brendan and I would want Natalie to meet Lucy.

OK, thats fair. When this woman gets clean...
Well, you stepped up to be a mom when you didnt have to. Once you get married, that will solidify your right to claim being Lucy's mom. Time will build on that.
While I doubt that bio-mom will get clean in time to have any real relationship with the child, while she is still a child, I also worry how this woman will behave once she actually does get clean. Ive personally seen too many recovering addicts that have some bizarre notion that now that they are clean, all will be right with the world, they will get custody, and everything will go their way.
I hate being a pessimist.
Like I said though, keep being the good mom that you are to that girl. That is the positive, good, and right thing to focus on.

She is currently not attempting to get clean. - her mother told me this.

Not enough info. So where was the father when the mother was neglecting their child? And how has it come so that the father’s been dating you 9 month after a birth of his child?

He was in Kuwait. He's a veteran. My hospital room was right between the mat ward and the picu. So I was an adult who was alone surrounded by kids and I had my grandpa drop off my consoles at the hospital due to an extended stay, Lucy was suffering with health issues of her own. We met while I was playing Assassin's Creed II in one of the quiet rooms.

Ok. I saw your update where you had written about Lucy’s mother is no more than an egg donor. No, she is more than that. She gave birth. And by your logic you are no more than a caregiver. Lucy deserves to know who her mother is. And the best thing everyone around can do is to help her mother to stay in Lucy’s life. Her father decided to abandon his wife and mother of his child. When did her problems with drugs start? Before or after she gave birth? Like he had no idea what was going on? He did nothing about it. He decided it’s better to go bang another chick and have “a fresh start”. ESH.

She was never his wife. Her problems with drugs started before his deployment. And well before Lucy's birth. He did not know because she hid it from him. When he found out he had her rights severed.

Well I want to apologize. It's a triggering theme for me and now I understand why. You're going through a rough period, I wish you to stay strong. Taking a kid to a safer place is a good decision. Accepting a kid who is not blood related to you is not something everyone might do, and you're a good person. Calling a woman who gave birth an «egg donor» is awful, but people say even worse things being under emotions, your reaction is totally justifiable. I can imagine the Lucy's mother is suffering, but if she can't help herself, she doesn't deserve to be around indeed. You are not the asshole. I am.

You're not an asshole for a trauma response :) Happy Healing!

INFO: have you or the dad done anything to help this victim of the opioid epidemic or have you only demonised them and nothing else? Has the bio mother been given a chance to change and improve their life? How did they get addicted?
Just to clarify both Natalie and Lucy are victims of the opioid epidemic here. Being a victim doesn’t necessarily make the mother in anyway blameless, but how those around her acted and supported her is very important context here.

She started taking opioids at parties, not due to injury. I know because that was a piece of evidence that led to her rights being taken away.

UPDATE: AITA for telling my daughter's biological mother that she doesn't deserve to call herself a mom?, Posted October 20th, 2023
Original Post: https://www.reddit.com/AmItheAsshole/comments/1773wj4/aita_for_telling_my_daughters_biological_mothe
Hello everyone! It's been a very interesting few days and I have an update. So a few days after she crashed the party Natalie got arrested and arraigned for possession with intent to sell an illicit substance. From what her family says, the substance was cocaine, not opioids.
Lucy is doing fine and is loving her first year of kindergarten. My Fiance asked her if she wanted me to become her mama on paper. She said yes and now we're planning on doing family vows at our wedding. We are getting married on the 15th of December, as that is a very significant day for us (The day Brandon and I officially started dating.)
We have spoken to a lawyer and he has told us that even if Natalie got clean she would never get her rights to Lucy back, so we don't need to worry. I hope she gets clean in prison.
I want to add that even though I am not Lucy's biological mother, she will always be my daughter. And Brandon and I are not going to have children together so she'll be our only kid. Thank you so much for your support and your criticism!
**Reminder - I am not OP**