Feeling sick and headache sudden

sometimes i feel itchy, but somewhere that isnt actually a part of my body. like i could be using my laptop, and suddenly i feel like the keyboard is itchy. like its an extension of my body. i could look at a random object that ive never touched before and feel that i just have to touch it now bc its itchy?? ive experienced this since i was 11 i think and its super weird and hard to describe 😭😭😭 and the more i think of it the more intense the feeling gets

Its been like month and half ever since i fully committed into recovery which might not seem as a lot but ive been eating. Not eating but EATING. And now im almost weight restored but i still feel so.. apathetic? I have no thoughts most of the time, i dont care about anything. Back then when i was restricting i at least felt something, yes my mind felt numb from the malnutrition but at least i felt somethingg. Now i dont. I cant even bring myself to care about others laughing at me or failing in school because i cant even think properly about it, therefore i do not care. The last time ive felt this stupid was before relapsing and when i started restricting, it was like my mind suddenly cleared. Idk bro is this even brain fog or im just being stupid? It kinda makes me wanna relapse lol

A lot of people in this sub seem to be confused about what happened. Granted, a lot of people got it as well, but the number of people that didn't was surprising to me. So here is my explanation of it that I think was the intended interpretation of the writers. All the "theories" that people are saying aren't theories, they are just repeating what is shown in the show.
So, basically no one alive killed Maddie. Maddie was killed by the ghost of Janet, because for an unexplained reason, she could see and hear them while in the bunker. The ghost of Janet was arguing with Mr. Martin and she saw an out through Madison, so she ran out. Her running out pushed Maddie's spirit out and Janet possessed Maddie's body. The person squatting in houses and breaking in was Janet possessing Maddie's body. That's also who we saw at the end of the show buying the bus ticket. It was explicitly stated when she called herself "Janet" to the ticket taker. This is also why they never found her body, because her body was still alive.
Janet did not cross over, Mr. Martin explained away her disappearance as crossing over but she was actually just possessing Maddie's body. This is why when Eva crossed over they all felt it, but didn't feel it for Janet.
Now for my theories that were not explicitly shown in the show. I think that Maddie could hear Mr. Martin's and Janets ghost because there may be a special property of this bunker that allows ghosts to actually interact with the environment. This is how Mr. Martin was able to keep those notebooks there, as well as the items there for so long. Otherwise, by the logic of the show, the physical items would just reset. This is also why the ghosts were able to get locked in the bunker.
Some people theorize that after what Maddie's mom did, stealing her money, she was contemplating suicide. They said that this can cause a thinning of the spirit or something, and Maddie said that her mom killed her spirit. Some people think this may be why Maddie was able to hear Janet at that moment. This also makes sense to me, because she couldn't hear them before but then all of a sudden they were loudly arguing. This would also make sense for why Simon could see Maddie's ghost, because after her disappearance he could have also been contemplating suicide. It could have even been at the very moment he saw her, because before, she was still standing next to him, but he couldn't see her. Then, he was contemplating out the window, and suddenly he could see her. That's the moment his spirit was thinned out enough or something.

So on Saturday I went on a long-ish car ride, and it gave me a nauseous, car sick type of migraine, which is pretty typical for me. What is not typical is that I am still feeling it 5 days later with headache meds not helping.
It comes and goes, and gets worse when i get up and move around. It's also worse upon waking up, and I've been having very surreal fever dreams. It is a pressure migraine, ranging from barely noticeable dull pain that I can ignore, to feeling like someone is literally standing on my skull where it hurts to even open my eyes. Usually I get them if my blood sugar is too low from not eating, or they can be triggered by car rides or fumes like nail polish. And usually all I need to do is eat some peanut butter crackers, turn all the lights off, take ibuprofen with some water, and sleep.
On day 3 I puked multiple times, and since then my chest and back muscles hurt when i breathe too deeply (i assume that's just from straining them while throwing up?) My whole body is kinda sore to be honest, but the chest discomfort when I take a deep breath is obviously the most concerning.
When I tilt my head forward or bend over, after a few seconds I get the sensation of water getting up my nose, and my eyes start to water. The pain and pressure spreads throughout my whole skull if I lean over too long. I feel better when laying down on my side, but laying flat on my back leads to the same water in my nose feeling.
The other issues like nausea and light sensitivity are things I've had before, even puking every once in awhile if i don't eat soon enough, but this awful pressure in my head like I went underwater without blocking my nose is new. Is it just sinuses? My nose isn't blocked or runny at all, I can breathe perfectly fine (not counting muscle soreness), and have not been coughing. I did spend a couple hours on Saturday under a tree that was covered in blossoms, but there's no way any pollen I breathed in would still be affecting me right? Allergy pills have not helped either. Plus I have not been outside for more than a few minutes in the past few days, as I've been in bed hoping this will go away if I just rest enough.
I have an appointment on Friday with my PCP to discuss this, but is there any chance it sounds like a more serious issue that warrants an ER visit? I've discovered what a cranial leak (CSF) is and am now paranoid about that. I'm only 23 but had multiple blood clots 2 years ago (that seem to have gone away now that i switched birth controls), and during that time I had an Atrial septal defect closed in my heart. So I am young but do have some history with physical health issues. Plus the years of chronic migraines, but this one has definitely been the worst from how long it's lasted and the various other symptoms it has caused.
Please let me know if anyone has experienced something similar or if it sounds more serious than just a bad migraine. Thank you!

I transferred to a new store a few months ago and they’ve had a mouse problem at least for as long as I’ve been there. I reached my breaking point today because I found mouse droppings behind and next to the ovens, as well as the POS. I feel sick thinking about it.
I was told to put on food prep gloves and wipe the areas down. After going home, I learned that that was in no way the proper way to handle it and that the droppings can make you sick. I see traps around the store, but they’re clearly not working. I would really love advice on how to proceed from here.

Before getting into the situation, I am a slightly awkward/shy black girl (F19) who was had the WORST dating experiences (online and in-person). I have never been physically approached by a man because I've always been seen as intimidating or unapprochable (even some people I called friends said this to me when we became close). I also did not hear the words "I love you" much in my childhood home, so I was more used to showing rather than stating explicitly that I love someone, friend or more.
Getting into the situation, my first BF (M19), or ex-BF now, treated me way better than any man ever had. We had met on a dating app, which really took me by surprise because most of the men I met on dating apps either ghosted me, wanted me for "specific" reasons, or just didn't want proper commitment. I was basically on the verge of deleting these apps when I met him. We clicked literally immediately and he's the first guy who didn't only talk to me about "specific" things, but genuinely wanted to get to know me. I usually feel really uncomfortable around men, but it was so easy to talk and relate to him. Keep in mind, though, that we both had gone through pretty intense situations before meeting, so that may have influenced the speed at which we caught feelings for each other.
Throughout the relationship, he would express his love for me mainly through words, which I did appreciate. However, it was so hard for me to say the three big words, even though I knew I felt them, so I demonstrated this through my actions (spending time, gifting, etc). But after a couple months, I started to get intense relationship anxiety because of our goals and such, but communicating had always been so hard for me, yet with him, I really tried my best. Unfortunately, the more my relationship anxiety rose (in regards to career goal alignment and long-term commitments like he really wanted), the more I began to doubt the relationship. In an effort to ease my anxiety, I would tell him how I felt, but my instictive defensiveness (childhood home effect) would always prevent us from communicating, and I hated myself for this because I was trying so hard to stop, I just wanted him to hear me.
It literally got to the point where, one week I was so secure, the next I was not, and this just led to so many ups and downs and multiple break ups and get back togethers. This was until not too long ago when I just ended it for the sake of not hurting him anymore. I've been going to therapy and stuff, but now I feel like why couldn't I just calm down and communicate? He was literally the most secure person I ever met, he was so loving, kind, caring, and patient, but my anxiety always made me feel like I wasn't good enough for him or that he would get sick of my constant emotional turmoil even though I was really trying to be better for him. Now I'm just so stuck and confused and I tried to talk to him but I think were just really done now, I don't wanna hurt him anymore, but he was everything my childhood and current self could ever ask for.
How do I cope with this? (Excuse the length of the post)
TL;DR: My relationship anxiety and difficulties with communicating feelings without being defensive as an instinctive reflex led me to break up with my boyfriend for his sake. I am seeking help, but I feel like I could have worked on myself with him. It's just that when I would try and tell him that I loved him so much, my anxiety got the best of me, so I couldn't get those words properly out of my mouth. He was my peace, and I wanted to try and be his some day, but my emotions and constant panic got the best of me.

First...Previous
Colonist Memory Log: Captain Alan J. Emerson
UNS Evandra
Mechanical melodies of gears grinding together and switches flicking of their own accord surrounded the shrine room as before us the gramophone began softly to whistle and click. “He is here…” Kritivek announced, standing tall and bowing his head in rigid deference to his god.
After a few more seconds, the machine’s output grew in both volume and complexity until at last my GRIM could recognize the clicks as Chitaan language. “Hello, Kritivek.” It began, its voice smooth and rhythmic like something between the crackle of a geiger counter and a typewriter’s telltale racket. “I am glad to see you alive and well. Judging by the fact that Gheyk and Fevik are not with you, however, I calculate an 86% chance that they were not so lucky.”
“You are correct, Great One…” murmured Kritivek, the sadness in his tone underpinned by pure awe and reverence for this being.
For a few seconds, Omnus did not speak, but from the everpresent churn of gears we could quite literally hear him ‘thinking’. “I have logged their names in my backup database,” the machine eventually concluded, its words visibly bringing relief to Kritivek. “They shall be remembered for the remainder of my existence. Please, take solace in that…”
“May they frolic in your glory for all of time,” our Chitaan guide prayed aloud, his words followed by yet another long, smothering silence.
“You hath served me well, Kritivek.” Continued the machine, prompting a delighted chitter from the Chitaan priest. “You may go in peace, for I wish to speak with these Humans alone. Mourn your brothers and celebrate the time you spent together. Perhaps enjoy a flask of bogal poured out in their honor?”
“As you wish, my lord… I will inform those outside that you are in contemplation for this night and can take no more prayers until daybreak.”
Replicating with its gears the gentle rattle of a Chitaan chuckle, Omnus waited until his priest had left before at last speaking directly to the three of us. “You are not native to this planet, correct?” He asked, his words distinctly lacking the emotional inflections of Kritivek’s. “Your arrival here is without precedent, but not entirely unexpected.”
Though clearly far from divine in nature, the being with whom we conversed at this shrine was nevertheless a true marvel to behold: one born not of metaphysics, but rather mechanics. “You’re an AI!” I gasped, that last word having no direct translation in the Chitaan language and as such forcing my translator to make do with the clumsier phrase ‘thinking tool’.
“That is correct,” replied this machine, its words underscored by the distant hiss of steam valves and other clockwork components. “Allow me to offer my most sincere sympathies for the unfortunate demise of your homeworld. Taking into account the trajectory of your ship prior to landing, I presume its origin to be the Cichek system—a G-class star located [forty lightyears] away. Is this hypothesis accurate?”
Awkwardly clearing his throat in a bid to obtain the AI’s attention, it was Alex who next deigned to speak out. “You would be dead on,” he affirmed, his tone betraying an understandable degree of awe. “Though our name for it is the Sol system. How long have you known about our ship for?”
“I first detected the gravitational anomaly in our system approximately [3 months] ago. Initially, I had mistaken your vessel for an asteroid and as such expected it to continue on its prior trajectory. Asteroids, however, do not suddenly change course in the direction of nearby planets like your ship did [hours] ago.”
“Are you entirely clockwork?” I asked Omnus, gesturing incredulously toward its walls of grinding machinery. Surely, that could not be the case. For a convincingly sapient AI to be constructed on the basis of such primitive technology, it would require decades or perhaps even centuries of construction.
Again, silence fell over the room as Omnus mechanically contemplated my query, meeting it with a reply after some twenty seconds of deliberation. “What else might I be?” The machine asked, providing me implicitly with my answer. “While I have theorized several possible avenues for technologies more advanced than myself, including electronic and organic integration, such methods appear to have been beyond my creators' capabilities.”
“That brings up another question…” Alice interjected, recovering at last from the sheer shock of encountering a sapient machine. “Who built you and why?” Despite years of exponential advancement in the field of computer science, true AI nevertheless had continued to elude mankind. Convincing as our facsimiles of sapience could be at times, they nevertheless lacked the capacity for emotion and initiative characteristic of real consciousness. Whoever constructed this machine had done something thought impossible by over a century of Human engineers.
“In truth, I am not sure…” Omnus concluded after an even longer-than-usual pause. “My core memory bank was reset [9,462 years] ago. As such, I have no data on my creators nor their original intentions for me. However, I have largely ruled out the possibility of them having been Chitaan.”
Fascinating as this clockwork consciousness undoubtedly was, something about its relationship with the natives left a bad taste in my mouth all the same. "And why exactly are you masquerading as a god before these people?" I asked him, my words tipped in a venom the potency of which apparently surprised my companions. "What value do you derive from tricking them into worshipping you?"
Lengthy silence fell over the shrine chamber as its AI occupant contemplated my complaint, responding much quicker than it had to the previous question. "In all fairness, 'trick' is a rather strong word..." answered Omnus with a steam-valve sigh. "When first I encountered the Chitaan, I had attempted to explain my true nature to them. No matter how I worded things, however, they simply could not comprehend me as anything short of divine. Upon finding me, the Chitaan found a guide bearing great wisdom; and in turn, I found a species in need of guidance.”
Falling silent for a moment to parse this response within my mind, I was hardly surprised when Alex spoke up to question the computer in my stead. “Is this the only settlement that follows you or are there others?” He asked.
“This access point where you now stand is but one of several thousand, stretched out across [hundreds of thousands of miles],” explained Omnus, practically knocking the wind out of me with its sheer implied scale. “Currently, I am worshipped by the people of 2,147 city states, and through my guidance they are able to coexist in harmony.”
Perhaps at a later date, I reasoned, there would come a time to more closely study the inner workings of this clockwork deity. For the moment, however, my mind was occupied by far more salient concerns: anxieties related less so what this being was and more so to who. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to tell us what your end goal with the Chitaan is, would you?" I inquired, my tone saturated with appropriate suspicion.
Contrary to my expectations of some evasion or simplification, this AI seemed more than happy to comply with my questioning. "My primary objective regarding the Chitaan is to create a society which both minimizes individual suffering and maximizes civilizational longevity. To this end, I have instilled values into my followers that prioritize empathy and compassion above all else. By drip-feeding them the technologies of my creators, I am able to ensure that the Chitaan who follow these directives remain more advanced than their neighbors."
"And why do you want that?" I asked, sticking my head thoroughly within the gift horse's mouth. Machines as I understood them were built not upon sweet sentiments, but rather on cold, unfeeling logic. Even if this AI was benevolent, there nevertheless had to be some reason behind its desires.
"If you are searching for some vile ulterior motive, I am afraid I will have to disappoint you. My decision to aid the Chitaan is based upon two simple factors: necessity and curiosity. On the one claw, without regular maintenance, I will shut down and 'die'. The Chitaan can provide me with this maintenance, and as such it is in my best interest to keep them healthy and alive for as long as possible. More importantly, however, is the matter of sapience itself. It is clear to me that my creators are no longer around. For such an advanced species to die out is not only tragic, but also provides a rather pessimistic paradigm with which to judge intelligent life. Your arrival here following the self-inflicted destruction of your own world further suggests that civilization is unstable: a race between innovation and eradication. Perhaps with the assistance of a being such as myself, I can prevent the Chitaan from suffering a similar fate and as such create a functional spacefaring civilization.“
At that moment, the motivations of this machine made perfect sense. “So that’s what this is,” I growled contemptuously, glancing behind myself to the cave entrance as Kritivek politely dispersed the other worshippers. “It's all just a science experiment to you…”
"Perhaps my explanation was a tad overly clinical..." Replied the machine following a brief period of reassessment. "Make no mistake: I do care for Kritivek and his species. They are far more to me than variables on a spread sheet. Had I no love for them, then my experiments would surely spiral into abject cruelty."
Interrupting this line of conversation with a stern glare shot in my direction, Alice was next among our troupe to speak up. "Forgive Alan's weariness: he spent sixty years of his life alone maintaining our ship on its journey.”
“That sounds like a difficult use of one’s lifespan: especially one so long as those of your kind.” Omnus hummed, the low-pitch of his synthetic voice oddly relaxing.
“My combative behavior does have a reason!” I snapped at the physicist, my tone coming off as a bit more aggressive than intended. “Two thousand lives are in our hands and we need to find some place for them to settle.” As I spoke, my thoughts returned—as they so often did—to Mina. I made a promise to her mother that I would do everything in my power to take care of her, and I held no intention of going back on my word.
Hearing this, the AI fell silent for a long few seconds before at last dignifying my concerns with a response. “Perhaps I could be of some use to you…”
Behind us, the larger Chitaan clad in red stepped inside Omnus’ shrine room. Gently nudging me aside so as to access his ‘god’, the priest knelt down before this machine and with a low-pitched chitter began to commune with it. “Lord Omnus. Forgive my intrusion most indiscreet, for there is one amongst us who desperately seeks your aid.”
“Apologies, Humans: before we continue this riveting conversation, I must first tend to the concerns of my pod.” Began the AI, promptly shifting its focus toward the priest and addressing him directly. “You are forgiven, my child. Speak freely and tell me to whom I can be of assistance.”
“It is Vevik, my lord…” Clicked the priest in red, his tone strained somewhat by what I presumed to be emotion. “His daughter has fallen deathly ill. Our apothecaries have attempted to purge her body of the illness using your divinely-taught potions, but their efforts have been to no avail.”
“I presume Vevik is outside. Invite him inside so that I may hear his prayers.”
“As you demand, Lord Omnus!” Exclaimed the priest, shuffling off toward the cave entrance before returning with a smaller Chitaan whose eyes were just about level with Alex’s forehead.
“Speak, my child…” Hummed the AI, its monotone voice somehow underlined by a tenderness almost unnoticeable against the grinding of its ancient gears. “Tell me the nature of your offspring’s affliction.”
Immediately falling to his knees before the clockwork god, this Chitaan who I presumed to be Vevik began to pray in response. “Great one: my beloved Yitika is most terribly ill. Her body is plagued by violent bouts of seizure. She struggles to speak and walks as though drunken. When she does manage to communicate, she complains of splitting pain within her mind. Please, Omnus: I know that the [six years] I have spent with her have been in themselves gifts most priceless, and I have no right to implore you for more, but I beg of thee not to take her from me so soon…”
What followed must have been two minutes straight of silence from the computer as its gears ground away fervently. “The symptoms you have described to me are most troubling…” It concluded at last. “And you say none of the medications I’ve taught the apothecaries were effective?”
"Yes, Lord Omnus. Even your draught of respite has done little to ease her suffering!" Vevik affirmed, his tone saturated with desperation.
"I calculate a 94% chance that Yitika's suffering is the result of a brain tumor..." Continued the AI in cold, calculating monotone. "Alleviating such an illness is not impossible, but there are certain things I must ask of you, Vevik."
Hearing this, the Chitaan knelt before Omnus began to weep with joy. "I will undergo any trial you place before me, my god. What beast need I slay? What ritual need I complete to prove my unending faith and loyalty to you?"
"Retrieve for me one thistle of frojeth and two bilvarian roots. Bring these ingredients and your child to the bed of revival [six miles] east of here. Beware, however, the faithless tribes, for they have taken up residence in the area."
"We are unworthy even to be in your presence, o great one; yet still you do not forsake us in our times of need!" Professed Vevik before the AI, his body quivering with some emotion my Cogitolink struggled to identify .
"That, my child, is where you are incorrect." The machine responded rather matter-of-factly. "Your people are worthy of every gift I hath given you. Archpriest Jokuk: your task is to assist Vevik in gathering the ritual components. Go now in peace, for I wish to commune privately with these beings from the stars."
Chittering out their parting prayers of protection to the AI, Jokuk and Vevik wasted little time in exiting the cave and setting off in search of the ingredients mentioned by their god, leaving the three of us alone with it once more. "Again, I must apologize for that interruption." Omnus began, its gears having slowed down to a somewhat more relaxed rate of revolution. “Fascinated as I am by your arrival here, I nevertheless must fulfill my ‘divine’ obligations. I hope you do not terribly mind.”
Fortunate though it was for Vevik, this machine’s intervention nevertheless left the three of us with more questions than answers. “You mentioned something about a ‘bed of revival’?” Alice began curiously, voicing but one of our newfound gaps in knowledge. “What sort of ritual item is that, and why can’t you just make another here?”
“It is not a ritual item,” replied Omnus matter-of-factly, “The bed of revival is an automated surgery bay hooked up to one of my subsystems. With it, I can perform complex surgical operations far beyond the Chitaan’s current capabilities. Those herbs I sent Vevik to collect can be used as rudimentary anesthetics and antiseptics."
"So why not just tell them the truth?" I shrugged, curious as to why this AI would feel the need to lie by omission regarding something like surgery.
"When communicating with people so technologically primitive as the Chitaan, it is important to do so in terms they can understand. There will come a day when they will be ready to hear the whole truth, but as of yet my worshippers remain unprepared."
Alex never was one to wait his turn when it came to the procurement of knowledge, and as per usual he felt the need to interject with an inquiry of his own. "You spoke about the so-called 'faithless tribes' like they're dangerous," he began, his expression briefly tightening up as though the term itself was somehow bitter. "Why demonize people who don't worship you?"
"What sort of narcissist do you take me for?" Replied Omnus in monotone displeasure, his gears again churning against each other as he turned over the xenobiologist's question in his analog mind. "Not all tribes who do not follow me are 'faithless'. There are many as-of-yet unconverted groups that Kritivek's people remain on amicable terms with. Faithless is a term first coined by my Chitaan followers to describe a group of particularly brutal raider tribes."
Hearing this, the underlined aggression within Alex's voice fizzled out in favor of grim understanding. Though clearly quite peaceful compared to our own iron age, this civilization nevertheless would naturally have its own barbaric holdouts. "Okay... What makes these Chitaan more dangerous than other raiders?"
"One substantial part of it is their belief system," explained the AI, pausing for a long while as though in recollection. "Their cultural power structure can best be described as an atheistic militaristic gerontocracy. In essence, the faithless believe that rather than gods, the universe is governed by fundamental truths, and that these truths become more apparent as one ages and grows."
On Earth, such a belief system would be relatively innocuous: no more harmful than the average. On a planet like this one, however, on which age turns people into cannibalistic monsters, I could most definitely see the problem. "Let me guess: they worship the mad ones?"
"Correct. The faithless regard mad ones as the wisest beings to exist, and as such seek to emulate their behaviors: cannibalism and animalistic violence chief among them. In their society, the larger one can grow before truly losing their sanity and therefore 'ascending' to the state of a mad one, the more power and respect they are given within society." Another long pause fell over the shrine room as this machine seemed to contemplate before speaking out yet again. "Perhaps I could make you an offer..."
"Let's hear it," Alice shrugged, her husband mirroring the reply with an affirmative nod.
Loud clacking sounds like those of a typewriter rattled out of the console as a sliver of ancient parchment inscribed with what looked to be a map slid out from a previously-unseen paper slot. "This map depicts the local area," explained Omnus. "If you can clear out the faithless ones so that Vevik can bring his child to the bed of revival, I will provide you with assistance in setting up a new colony for your species. Deal?"
Awkwardly plucking the paper from it's resting place and scanning it over with my ancient eyes, I contemplated carefully what this deal might entail. "We'll need to back to the Evandra first. There, we could theoretically thaw out a crew to help clear the place..."
"That will not be an issue," replied Omnus confidently. "I will send battle priests to assist you in your return... Assuming, of course, that we have an agreement?"
"We could definitely use this guy's help!" Alex affirmed, prompting a similar expression of agreement from Alice. Nevertheless, however, I still was the captain, and as such this was my choice.
And with that, I reached out my hand reflexively as though expecting the computer to reach back and shake it. "Deal..."

First time poster here...looking for some advice. We're a family of 5. Three kids aged 9, 7 and 5. Our family vehicle is a 2017 Honda Odyssey. Our work commuter is a 2015 Hyundai Santa Fe.
The wife is absolutely sick of the van. It served its purpose amazingly when our three kids were 4 years old and younger. With the kids getting older and transitioning out of their huge car seats, it's time to upgrade the family hauler.
We want a visual upgrade. Not to impress others, but because we feel we deserve it. We started off determined to get the 2025 Toyota 4Runner next year, but after sitting in current models we weren't too impressed. We've seen what Honda, Hyundai and the rest have to offer.
With our incomes higher than 10 years ago, we don't mind stepping into the luxury category for the first time. We are considering the likes of an Audi Q7, BMW X5, Acura MDX, Lexus TX, etc. Reliability and long-term maintenance are important to us. Does anyone have any recommendations?
(PS: I'm digging the Lexus TX and would be curious to hear what people think about it)
Thanks!

It's been about 3 years now and I still miss him often.
He was my best friend, and the main person I liked hanging out with. It's hard for me to find people I vibe with and enjoy being around, there's only a couple other people in my life whose company I really enjoy, everyone else feels exhausting to be around after an hour or so. But with him, I never got sick of his company. I always looked forward to hanging out and doing stuff together.
I feel like being hung up on my ex is making it harder to put myself out there too. Because every time I try to go on dating apps, I just miss my ex even more. I would rather hang out with him than these other people.
It's been 3 years and I still haven't really been able to put him in the past. I suppose I could go to therapy, but realistically I'm not sure how helpful that would be. And it's a lot of money. I've been to therapists in the past and haven't found they really did anything helpful for me.
I just feel like there's a massive hole in my life without him around, and hobbies and spending time working on myself haven't really done much to help there.

It's been about 3 years now and I still miss him often.
He was my best friend, and the main person I liked hanging out with. It's hard for me to find people I vibe with and enjoy being around, there's only a couple other people in my life whose company I really enjoy, everyone else feels exhausting to be around after an hour or so. But with him, I never got sick of his company. I always looked forward to hanging out and doing stuff together.
I feel like being hung up on my ex is making it harder to put myself out there too. Because every time I try to go on dating apps, I just miss my ex even more. I would rather hang out with him than these other people.
It's been 3 years and I still haven't really been able to put him in the past. I suppose I could go to therapy, but realistically I'm not sure how helpful that would be. And it's a lot of money. I've been to therapists in the past and haven't found they really did anything helpful for me.
I just feel like there's a massive hole in my life without him around, and hobbies and spending time working on myself haven't really done much to help there.

My SO got warded and needed surgery but my parents in law don’t agree with it, they wanted to try conservative way. They started to keep finding my fault and pointing fingers at me when my SO told them he insisted on surgery. They accused me of brainwashing my SO to get that surgery, then suddenly they scold me for sitting by his bedside. Disclaimer, my SO wanted me to sit on his bedside because he feels lonely and he wants to at least touch me to feel safe. They don’t even come more than 2 hours to care for him and they just know to find my fault. I really cannot get why they are releasing their anger or worry on me. I’m already physically and mentally exhausted from all the sudden news of surgery and taking care of my SO and now his parents keep exhausting me emotionally. They also think they are smarter than everyone else. My FIL came and argue with me on neurosurgeon, i told him it’s a brain surgeon but he keep arguing it’s nerve surgeon, wtf is that? They always look down on me like I’m some stupid people. I just want to rant all this ridiculous things that happen

I ordered from safeway because I was feeling unwell and didn't want to go to the store. I ordered $60 worth of items, all easy to find, probably 8 items total, and had to contact support THREE times. The first driver took the order and sat parked for 20 minutes. Then he finally started driving the OPPOSITE direction from the store. I asked for a new driver. Second one proceeds to u turn in the direction of the store, but suddenly veers off course and sits for another 20 minutes before I again ask for a new driver. Third one sits AGAIN for 10 minutes, and now being entirely baffled and impatient, I ask for a cancelation, but as soon as I do the 3rd driver finally starts driving, does an excellent job, and all was well. But what the hell? I left a $18 tip. Why?

I met a girl on Hinge two weeks ago and we started texting and talking on the phone a lot. We were planning to meet after a week but ended up wanting to see each other sooner and went bowling. Then we made out in her car and told each other we liked one another. A couple days later, she invited me to her house and we slept together (my first time with a girl). The next day, she asked me to meet her best friend.
We’ve been texting and talking on the phone nonstop but all of the sudden she’s acting weird. So we made a plan a week in advance for her to come to where I live and we’d get dinner. I sent her an itinerary on Google Maps with plans for the date (beach, dinner, going to the casino) and thought that would be a cute gesture. She didn’t look at it and the night before told me that she had a golf tournament the next day and would maybe not be able to come because she’d probably be drinking a lot.
Up until the moment she told me she would “maybe” not be coming, she was texting me nonstop. Then when I was asking about why she couldn’t come I asked her to call me (she told me to call her anytime because she likes talking on the phone) and she wouldn’t call me.
I just feel kind of stupid and used right now. This whole time she was telling me that lesbians just move really fast (uhauling) and this was normal. She even took me driving to see the kind of house she wants to buy. I thought that meant something. And now she’s blowing me off and I’m so hurt and confused. Like why not just not drink a lot at the tournament? Why wait until the last minute to say she “maybe” couldn’t come?
If anyone has any sort of insight or advice or can relate I’d appreciate it so much because I feel so hurt right now and don’t know if I should stop talking to her. My heart is broken and it’s only been two weeks :(

I was made redundant at the end of December (they gave me a bit of money and they were nice about it so no hard feelings tbh, but I could use the money now). As it was an 100% remote job, they said they would send a courrier to collect my laptop but I never heard from anyone (employer or courrier) since.
Can I use or, better, sell it? How should I wipe it to be sure they don't suddenly see it online and remember that it's missing?
(I'm in Australia if that matters)

I’m 19F, diagnosed with UC for 4 yrs, recently given a new diagnosis for Crohns.
In the past two years, my energy has continued to decrease heavily. I cannot stand for more than 4 hours, I have no strength, and weigh the same as I did when I first got diagnosed.
I’m dealing with insurance to get biologicals and feel like i’m drowning with minimal support.
I model/work and get compliments on my physique quite often. No one can tell I am sick, that I feel so sick. I’ve been labeled as secretive because I won’t go out with people due to my tiredness and bowel movements.
Family and friends don’t really understand to what extent this disease affects me.
I hate that people are so quick to say they want to look like me, it makes me feel crushed.
Quite the vent. I just don’t know what to do or where to reach out for support.

Hi everyone, four years ago i (22F) got diagnosed with a prolactinoma and insulin resistance, and ive been on and off cab and metformine several times. After getting diagnosed i started having migraines, a few months later gastritis, a couple of months after that i got severle depressed (started Zoloft) aaaand then I started having vertigo and i started fainting out of nowhere, to the point i had to dropout of uni for a semester. My doctors insist that it doesn’t have anything to do with the tumor, but before i got the tumor i never got sick. Does anyone have any similar experiences? Are they actually not related to the tumor? I feel like my body is collapsing haha

Some short context: I'm a 19 year old black girl born and raised in the United States. Since I was raised and lived around predominantly black areas for all of my life, I'll be speaking from a mostly black perspective.
This is a long one, so get ready. Please correct me if I'm wrong about anything! If there are better places to post this in, please let me know! 🙏🏾
So, I've been wanting to talk about this for a long time, but I had no idea where to put this rant.
Even though I'm not mixed race, I still get pissed off at the things I've seen or heard people make about interracial relationships. Let me tell you why.
I really hate the stigma against interracial relationships, particularly ones that involve black people. The whole notion that people need to keep their races "pure", calling people "sell outs", "race traitors", etc. and all of the other terms make me feel sick. The fact that people still have tribalism, in group-out group ways of thinking pisses me off. That kind of mindset is giving stone-age Neanderthal caveman slug brain. Yes, the history of how black people were treated by white people in the US back then was absolutely despicable. However, people are acting like we're still living in those time periods. It’s 2024, not 1853 or something. In more recent years/times, there are people who are trying to push back against the stigmas. The things I've heard people say to justify being against interracial relationships honestly sounds a little bit like segregation to me. 😬
It seems like the most pushback against interracial relationships seems to be from white men and black men based on my observations. Going back to my previous point where I said about the tribalism mindset. The way how these guys think is that the women who date interracially are "one less woman for them to date, sleep with, and/or impregnate to have same race children". Disgusting, I know. 🤢 Women hold similar viewpoints, but I don’t think it's to the same extent as men. Also, because cis hetero white men are the most privileged group of people on the planet, when they date interracially, they're viewed as conquering and keeping their power. Whenever black men date interracially, they're also viewed as conquering (because they're men in a patriarchal society), but they're also viewed as wanting to keep marginalized women (black women) in a lower tier.
A few weeks ago, I was talking to my mom about interracial relationships and I told her that people who disapprove of them sound similar to segregation. My mom said that my logic is commendable, but she disapproves of interracial relationships and she supports segregation because it makes black people have things that can help us support ourselves without white people having any power over us. I see where she’s coming from, but there are flaws in her logic. We live in a white supremacy. If we want even an ounce of traction for ourselves, we don’t really have much of a choice but to do business with white people, since they’re the ones who created this system and forced everybody to live under it. Besides, it’s not like black people really had a choice but to make spaces for ourselves since white people were adamant on shutting us out, harassing us, and being racist. Nowadays, we can have both; spaces for black people that support black people and we can do that without the dehumanizing aspects of segregation.
If there is something that infringes on basic human rights, then I'm gonna have a problem with it and most likely not be willing to support it.
There’s more I can talk about, but I don’t want to make this post too long. (Or risk making myself seem unhinged... if I haven't already... 😭🏃🏾‍♀️)
Obviously, there’s always gonna be people who are bigoted, uneducated assholes. However, I believe there is just a shred of hope for humanity, judging by the amount of non-black people who were at the protests back in 2020 and the amount of people who support the Cease Fire. (The ones who are genuine about it.)
Let me know what your thoughts are.

It's been about 3 years now and I still miss him often.
He was my best friend, and the main person I liked hanging out with. It's hard for me to find people I vibe with and enjoy being around, there's only a couple other people in my life whose company I really enjoy, everyone else feels exhausting to be around after an hour or so. But with him, I never got sick of his company. I always looked forward to hanging out and doing stuff together.
I feel like being hung up on my ex is making it harder to put myself out there too. Because every time I try to go on dating apps, I just miss my ex even more. I would rather hang out with him than these other people.
It's been 3 years and I still haven't really been able to put him in the past. I suppose I could go to therapy, but realistically I'm not sure how helpful that would be. And it's a lot of money. I've been to therapists in the past and haven't found they really did anything helpful for me.
I just feel like there's a massive hole in my life without him around, and hobbies and spending time working on myself haven't really done much to help there.

Throwaway because I don’t know if I’ll ever admit this anyone.
I am in a loving relationship and my partner (Male, 20s) couldn’t be more perfect. He treats me (female, 20s) very well and always has. I’ve been with him happily for many years. We share a mutual friend (male, 20s) that we’ve hung out with for years. Suddenly, I look at our friend and find myself attracted to him. I want to be with hang out with him more, talk to him more, laugh with him more. I can’t pinpoint when or why this started happening, but I hate it. I notice little things about him that I’ve never paid attention to before. I think I genuinely have feelings for him. I don’t know how to process this. My partner has never done anything to hurt me and like I said, he’s amazing. I still love him and am so thankful for him but I can’t shake these thoughts about my best friend. I would never cheat on him and would leave before that would ever happen. I’ll likely never tell him, my partner, or anyone else about these feelings. At the end of the day, the friendship we all have shared means everything to me as they are the family I never had. Hurting anyone would not be worth losing that. I’ve been trying to remain calm and pretend I’m not stressed but I’m so confused and living in my head these days.
I just needed to get this off of my chest

Salmonella- hopefully? 🤞🏻
37F, Asian from Canada
There was just a recall on SunChips due to possible Salmonella and of course, I had like 1/2 the Costco bag before finding out. This was probably around 6-7 days ago and since 3 days ago, I started out with some minor body aches, a low fever then a headache, then on and off cramps (very sparse). This lasted 1 day then almost no symptoms. Then yesterday, body aches are back but worse and cramps that come in waves every few mins. Today, I woke up with no more body aches but still those bad cramps. Also, today was the day the recall was in the news so I’m thinking, am I that lucky? My family of 5 all ate the chips but only I developed these symptoms.
Does this sound like Salmonella? I didn’t have any diarrhea or vomitting. Also, is it normal that I feel better then worse again? Anyone who has experienced similar patterns and it was just that?
I’m mainly wondering if this is a stomach issue that warrants a deeper dive because I had a bout of these on-off cramps about 6 months ago. I would describe them like a severe tightening/someone squeezing my insides/contraction that comes and goes every so often but lasts days at a time and went on for a few weeks. Got checked and it wasn’t gallbladder but before I got a schedule with the stomach specialist, the pain magically disappeared so we concluded perhaps it was something that got triggered and didn’t look further during the specialist appointment.
Thank you for taking the time to answer!! 🙏

I (17) have a sister (21) and she’s not diagnosed with anything (I have immigrant POC parents who don’t think mental issues are a real thing except for SUPER stereotypically autistic acting people - sorry if that’s offensive but idk how else to put it), but it’s obvious something is wrong in the head. She can’t socialize normally, she doesn’t know when people are annoyed/she doesn’t pick up on emotions, she copies every single thing I do, she throws tantrums (hitting me because my baby cousin hugged me first, screaming in the middle of the night because I forgot to put my clothes in the washer after showering, literally just constant screaming). I’m not gonna diagnose or assume anything because I don’t know enough about the whole mental stuff, but yeah it’s clear she has serious issues. She can function in society, like she can talk (even with her horrible grammar), walk, drive, and everything, but she’s insane. My parents don’t exactly baby her, but it’s very clear they either are blind to her mental delay or just choose to ignore it. Whenever she gets in trouble, they have to yell at me too, even if I didn’t to anything. When we were younger, my parents would sit us both down when we got in trouble and I was done getting scolded in 5 minutes, but my sister talked back and it took 3 hours on average (longest was 7 hours) and I had to sit there while she threw her tantrums. Other than that, she copies everything I do (she hated makeup until I started wearing it, she copies my style even though she body shames me and calls my clothes ugly, she calls my music “Americanized” then adds the songs I play to her playlist, she copies what I say word for word like an hour after I say it, she says she got waitlisted/accepted from the colleges I got into when I know she got rejected by every single one, and there’s more but whatever) I’m just sick of not being able to do anything without her copying me, and it genuinely makes me really mad. I know I have some degree of anger management problems, but it’s not controllable when you live with someone as fucking horrible as her. One of my friends who knows her and her antics literally asked me “How haven’t you killed her yet?” as in, how do I stand living with her. It’s bad. One time, she was screaming in the middle of the night because of something stupid and I told her to shut up before we got in trouble and that someone was going to call the cops on us, and my dad got really mad and basically said that he’d kill me (please don’t report or anything, I’m not in any actual danger. But yeah the anger issues are definitely genetic). And my mom just cannot understand boundaries, physical and emotional. I feel like it’s common sense to not bother people when they’re mad, but she’ll stand there and talk to me. Whenever I tell her that I don’t want to talk right now because I get in trouble for being mad, she and my dad both start screaming at me that I can’t have whatever I want and that I’m a horrible daughter, and they raised me better than I turned out. And my mom has a problem with slapping my butt and coming into my room when I’m changing. I know this is really normal in immigrant households and the country I’m from, and it’s not anything weird or gross, but I’ve literally told her to stop every single time, but she never will. I hate being touched (hugs, brushing up on people, literally most physical touch) because of this.
My parents also constantly call me a psychopath because I grew closed off and distant at around 15-16 after growing tired of everything at home. I tend to be a little cynical and mean because of how they raised me, but literally who calls their children psychopaths if they don’t do anything. Like I’m valedictorian, I’m going to a good college, I don’t do drugs, I don’t date, I don’t go out at night, none of the stuff teenagers do at my age and they still think I’m horrible. I don’t even do things that most people would call psychopathic. blood and gore makes me squeamish, I’ve never hurt people other than hitting my sister back, and I feel emotions.
I don’t know what do to at this point (as you can tell by my sad, pathetic post on Reddit). I can’t cut them off because they’re financially supporting my entire future and immigrant families just don’t work that way, you can’t just cut them off, but I’m also just bad at living. My parents have done pretty much everything for me growing up, and I barely know how the world works. I can cook, drive, and I have a job but I don’t know anything about credit cards, rent, cutting family off, or anything practical. I just want to get this off my chest. Sorry if this post is a little messy and hap-hazardous, I just needed to let it out.

Debated killing myself tonight but had the same feeling I always do when I get close to ending it " you have to stay alive", " you have to stay alive your special compared to others", "no one else could take your place" I get this overwhelming feeling of I'm some sort of God some sort of person the world needs despite me not knowing what I'm " needed" for.
For years I've been working to get my liceanse. Wasn't able to before because of my abusive mom and other issues. I've been driving really well with my boss but today I drove with a co worke fake friend who believes in my mask.
He sees me as this super kind soft spoken gentle person he told me so i used him for his apartment a few months ago to get on my feet after fleeing my horrible living situation. but recently I've been letting my facade slip. Screaming. Being more angry.
Being more vulgar with my words and how I talk about other people around him. Kinda just like being me. Calling people fucking stupid. Saying people should get hit by cars etc. Just all the usual me unmasking stuff.
My co workers car is completely diffrent then anything I have ever driven before. And his gear shift is very strange when it comes to the lay out of the car , his gear shift was surprisingly very hard to understand and just really wonky.
It was a real struggle to tell what gear I was in. It didn't help that he told me to push it in the wrong direction i started driving and I was anxious about looking as perfect as i usually do to my co worker. Prior to today we had many conversations about my driving.
My boss told my co worker I was almost ready for my driving test and that was true. I was kicking ass at driving only needed to work on parallel parking. We'll today when pulling forward I ended up rear ending a car in my co workers car due to anxiety that i never feel unless im in a car especially driving with someone new I've never hit a car before.
I had shifted gears and jolted forward. He started panicking and so did I but I couldn't move gears at first cause he kept directing me to move it the wrong way. I started getting annoyed. And ticked off. Took a deep breath and back off of the car.
He sighed and all the sudden my hearing went fuzzy. My mind went numb and I could feel rage boil up inside me. Then it felt like I just shut down..i completely dissociated, in his now parked car I dissociate when I'm seen as anything but perfect. I then sat in his car staring off into space unable to see the world was real around me.
Like a bomb had gone off and my vision and hearing became wonky. I took a deep breath he asked if I was mentally okay enough to drive after I explained that I was pissed at myself for fucking up when I've been doing fine this entire time. He asked if I wanted to still drive I took a few more deep breaths. Collected myself and grounded myself a little. We then made our way to my house.
It was like I was in auto piolet mode unable to focus on anything but driving forward..that anger had built up and I used it to my advantage. I was seriously driving perfectly and he was praising me. Through deep breaths and internal self talk like " it's okay your still amazing" "it's okay he said it's fine it's okay he said it's fine". The ride was smooth..I kept saying to him " I don't think im gonna get my liceanse,
I'm doing good then I second guess myself then I fuck everything up, I should just give up". A big struggle or mine with driving is taking anyones advice.
This causes issues with teachers and instructors. I can't take criticism because I will treat you like your the worst sack of shit out there if you try to reason with me. I'm aware of that. I think im smarter then instructors even if I know somewhat that I'm not I feel like I am. Same with doctors etc. Ik of my faults atleast some of then.
After getting home I shut the door with a pissed off expression on my face most of the ride was occupied by my stone cold glare. I listened as he awkwardly made commentary on things around us. But I was to annoyed with myself to care. But I also soaked up his awkward uncomfortable rambling. It was nice. His discomfort in a way. His stuttering.
I was also to focused on "being"/ doing better..he told me the first half was rough but I just need more practice despite saying alot more practice privioisly which annoyed me further. I'm over practice I can do this stupid shit. I'm just fuckin stupid sometimes.im tired of instructors going on and on im tired of people correcting me on the stuff they don't even need to be correcting.im tired of driving. I'm tried to talking to people.
I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of wanting people around because of chronic boredom but not wanting to give the same shit back. It's lonely and a boring existence.
I just wanna die. But my mind won't let me it's like there's some proficy tied to me in my own fucked up head. I need help. I don't think im functioning anymore. I'm so tired. But if I fail to kill myself then I'm fucked or some sort of failed proficy. I can't get help from a therpist or other professional due to finances and insurance issues.
I've been trying so hard to get my license I've been staying at a job I hate with shitty people just to do it. But now I don't think I'll even be able to get it sitting through months of this shit and having to get an okay from my co worker sounds like he'll in all honesty. Especially because he makes fun of beginners in the work place and everywhere else in life I've noticed.
Before I was driving with my aunt who would shove her hands into my face and scream at me while driving even if the ride was smooth or down a simple clear street etc. I don't know what I'm gonna do if I don't get my license and I'm forced to keep on foot and by bus like I have been for so long in a city that triggers my ptsd everywhere I go because of the constant trauma I suffered here. Tonight ended in me walking around for hours at night. High off my ass. Pissed at myself it ended in me texting him angrily trying to repair my image with him despite him acting somewhat chill about it. Many sad faces. Many guilt invoking comments on my part followed by small spurts of Venting about my license. Engolfing his texts.
There's so many benifits I could get from getting my license. I don't know what I'm doing anymore.