Happy daughter of a soldier poem

Frisson

2011.07.13 10:22 XSeveredX Frisson

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2010.07.02 05:48 geoviedo Spider-Man

The subreddit for the Marvel character, Spider-Man
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2019.12.30 15:26 kaira2145 xukai

Xu Kai is only the cutest, most adorable person on the planet. You may know him as Soso—or as Li Chenlan, Fucha Fuheng, Gu Yanzhen, or Wang Lu. He’s starred in ‘The Legends’, ‘Arsenal Military Academy’, ‘Once Upon a Time in Lingjian Mountain’, ‘Story of Yanxi Palace’, ‘Zhaoge’, ‘Untouchable Lovers’, ‘Ode to Daughter of Great Tang’, ‘Happy Camp’ & ‘Keep Running’. He’s also scheduled for a new palace drama with Bai Lu—his ‘Legends’ and ‘AMA’ co-star. Born on March 5, 1995, he is an actor and model
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2024.06.09 23:49 Possible-Worth6446 I blocking my ex friend after she did the same thing to me

I (16f) Had one of the worst friendship breaks with my family friend(16f) let’s call her G. Its been almost 3 months and its still affecting me I want to move past this but i cant does anyone have any advice
here is what happened
Me and G were playing a game together, and she got into an argument with someone in the game. I poking fun. like (Haha her name is Roach) that was the name of the girl she was arguing with. G was getting annoyed and said “ Like bitch it’s not funny shut up “ I was stunned and a bit hurt because I thought she called me a bitch, I ended up hanging up and closing the game because I thought I would be best and then come back later.She started texting me on Snapchat saying she was sorry for yelling and taking her anger out on me. I wasn’t mad that she was annoyed by me just about how she called me a bitch, I didn’t appreciate it and I texted her and said that. I just wanted an apology for her calling me that but as we were texting it seem like she didn’t want to take accountability for calling me a bitch but saying it wasn’t directed to you I just said it cause I wanted to and also G trying to put the blame on me like saying “ I wouldn’t have said that if you were supporting me and not disrespecting me and being a bully. The “fights” with have are usual jokes and we often jokingly insult each other and I tell her if I do or say anything that hurt her to tell me so I won’t do it againThis was when things started to escalate And We started arguing I was trying my best to keep calm the only thing I wanted was an apology for the bitch comment and we would have probably started playing again but she kept escalating it bringing up things from before and saying that I’m not supportive of her when I do my best to listen and talk to her when she’s having problems I openly listen to what she has to say because I know that just having someone to listen helps. So it stung when she said that.That’s in itself brought me back to a few weeks ago when she was upset because we couldn’t go to the mall together and we were playing Roblox, G usually the one to pick the games and for once I wanted to pick a game. When I picked she was saying how the games were not good and we already played before but we didn’t and I was saying “Why can't I pick a game “ I was talking when all of a sudden she hung up the call and BLOCKED me on everything I was confused but I remember thinking ill give her some time because her blocking me as this has happened 2 times before. 4 DAYS went by and I was concerned, thinking I had done something wrong, or maybe I was being a bad friend. My mind was spiraling does days. So I called my mom asked what happened and asked her to talk to her mom to find out what was going on. Later that night we called and talked because I wanted to know what was going on and know why she blocked me. G Said that I wasn’t being supportive of her but all I wanted was to pick a game for once and if she needed a break she could have told me she said my mom said some mean things about her and I apologized I just wanted to know what was going on.Back to the Snapchat conversation things are heated right now Then G calls me a Bitch. I was made and said to her “This shows what kind of person you are ass” I was very mad all I wanted was an apology and I would have apologized to her for the unpleasant nagging. I end up blocking her on Snapchat. At This point, I’m crying because this did not need to get to this point when I get a message from Instagram From G saying “I CALLED YOU OUT FOR BEING A BAD PERSON AND YOU CRY BECAUSE UR BITCH ASS CANT TAKE THAT UR A BAD FRIEND” I was Mad and told her Fuck you she said “IF YOU THINK FOR ONE SECOND UR SAD DEPRESSED ASS IS BETTER THAN ME THINK AGAIN” This message right here Made me rethink Everything about our friendship things For almost a year now I have been battling depression seeing my doctor, social workers even my guidance counsellor to help me get through the school year. I trusted her with something like this, she knows what I have been going through and she used it against me, it makes me even more upset because she also has depression she has also been going through things she knows how it feels to be in a state were it seem like everything is hopeless and she used it against me. even saying she does not want to be here anymore after talking to me.Somehow were calmed down and called I don’t remember much but I do remember telling her that bringing up my depression was hurtful and unacceptable. What made me more upset was that she said she was sorry and that she wanted to say more hurtful like this. At that moment I thought “I don’t want to be friends anymore “Before we ended the call we decided to take a break from each other. FOR A WEEK STRAIGHT I was debating whether or not to stay friends I talked to my support group at school my sister and my mom Before I made a decision What sealed it for me was when my older sister said “If she can escalate it quickly something like this will happen again and maybe even worse. so I made my conclusion and Blocked her on everything even deleting the Instagram chat Even my mom said I should block her thought that was the end of that 2:00 am in morning, I got a notification from her alt account and someone else called me a hypocrite because I blocked her without saying anything. My account was not private at the time. I think I should have told her that I wanted a break but I felt like my reason was much clearer than she. I started crying like I just wanted to be left alone and not have to deal with her toxic energy.I go to school the morning of and at the end of the day WHILE In a meeting with the school social worker I'm getting notifications from comments under my post from her and the same person. I blocked the other person and told her I would talk with her later when getting on the bus she was arguing in the comment section of one of my posts I do have a screenshot of the conversations coming up but not of the Instagram or Snapchat because I did not think I would have needed them but il summary here: G is saying that I'm a hypocrite and a bullied telling me about all the time I made her feel bad or hurt her. (quick note I know I have stuff that has hurt her and when they happen tell her I'm sorry and do all that I can to make sure it does not happen again I even tell her when I do something that hurts tell me so I can change)and how I was still friends with another family friend she did get along with. I knew about that and because of that I limited my contact with her and tried my best to make sure they were not around each other. we ended up calling later I was at the mall at the time I don't remember much from it but I do know this is where I started to get angry. I was yelling in the comer of the mall where nobody was around but I was still getting looks, to begin with, the only people that were involved were people, adults that I trusted, I was not going to get any of our friends involved until she said oh I was blocked by some of our other friends so you may have told me the themWhen I ended the call I'm "You think I'm talking shit NOW I am "I call up my other family friend Let's call her MM is the girl G does not like even going as far as to shit-talk her to me sometimes. I Call M, at this point, I need to get some steam off my chest I tell her about how Fake G is and she's like " thought so "She even asks if G was talking shit about her and I confirmed all of that to her. The whole walk home I was cussing G out because I was done trying to be friendly and at the end M like you should warn R . She is another one of my family friends. I agreed because R is a super sweet person I did not want her to do something like this to her so we made a group chat with R and I recap her and M even my older sister on it. When I told them about the time she blocked me for 4 days and the other times they both were like "She's Done this before multiple times "something I wish I picked up early on. R told Us that the last night of me blocking her G went straight to her and when she talking she was leaving out a lot of details. While I was talking to them I was getting messages from her telling me to admit that I'm a bully and a bad person but I told her I WILL NOT ADMIT TO YOUR DELUSION OF ME. Like I was not hearing her out and I did not want to. even messages from other people telling ME to apologize LIKE NO.Later on, I GET a message from some random 18 year old CALLING ME NAMES LIKE PUSSY FUCKGLY BITCH, MANIPULATIVE FUCK ETC and in my head, I'm like WHO THE ACTUAL FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU DON'T NOW SHIT NOT ENOUGH to be IN MY DMS. I'm texting back in Fort with her and she tells me I'm an embarrassment and that I should OFF MYSELF IM AN EMBARRASEMENT AND THAT I SHOULD OFF myself and yet I'M THE BULLYI GET YET ANOTHER MESSAGE FROM SOMEONE ELSE A 17-YEAR-OLD CALLING ME NAME AND TELLING ME TO ACT LIKE AN ADULT MIND YOU BOTH OF THEM ARE OLDER THAN ME AND YET IM IMMATURE IM THE FUCKING BULLY IM THE BAD PERSONI take screenshots and send them to R and M, saying this is what she's doing now and yet she is still convinced I'm a bully. I showed it to my sister, and when I did that I should take this to Mom and I did show it to her she called G's mom, and I told g's mom about everything up to this point. About the messages and harassment online the insults FROM OTHER PEOPLE and even when she said she did want to be here when she was talking to me. she was NOT happy at all with what her daughter was doing while on the phone I'm hearing G yet again trying to blame me and even LYING about her wanting to off herself. I was pretty clear G's mom was NOT on her side.after I had one final chat with her in a group chat with R and M so everyone could see and she couldn't twist my words anymore. I told her about the threats and showed her the screenshots and she's like "Oh I'm sorry I didn't think they would do that " like she was not the one to give them my iG in the first place. even calling me immature for how I responded to them TF YOU EXPECT ME TO BE RESPECTFUL TO THEM AFTER SEEING those MESSAGES? She pissed me off here but it did not appear until later that night. Even after all this she still thinks I'm this horrible bully of hers saying I was lying about when she said she wanted to OFF herself. why would I lie about that not gaining shit from it. while we are talking M is talking to supporting me and saying things I should have said to her and not be as passive as I was. Finally, in the end, G gave me an ACTUALLY APOLOGY for the one thing I wanted from the beginning the the half-baked one she was giving me. I accept this one cause this is what I was waiting for. I said my apologies cause I realized I did things wrong too but I wanted to take back my apologies when she was like "Now you're not ignoring my apology because people can see and call you out for ignoring it. At the end I said if we can take a break and come back maybe and she's like " oh you told my mom I wanted to off myself I'm never talking to you again. LIKE DID YOU NOT SAY THAT TO ME, DID YOU NOT GET PEOPLE SO INSULT AND TREATIN' MY LIFE? we agreed to be decent but now looking a this I do want TO BE DECENT NOT WITH YOU The gravity of the situation did not hit me till about 2 am the morning with me on the phone crying to people from the crisis line, even scared I was going to wake up to New messages from other people It’s been almost 3 Months and I’m still affected by this thinking of how I lost yet another friend. I thought FINALLY I have friends to rely on and then she stabbed me in the back like this I would rather now be alone than deal with something like THIS AGAIN To make things WORSE I wanted to off myself For a bit during the end of April I went BACK doe’s message telling me to off myself and thinking maybe there’s were right maybe I should and maybe I am a bad person. I EVEN WAS THINKING OF MESSAGING HER Because I was lonely. Thank god I didn’t
sorry for the long rant I needed to get this out of my system
submitted by Possible-Worth6446 to Advice [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 23:44 Beehive-honey My teen won’t go on holiday with her dad because of his wife.

5 months ago, my ex husbands wife screamed and shouted at my 15 year old daughter because she saw she was messaging me. Since then, my daughter won’t go and stay at their house and barely sees her father at all. There is a lot more to this and my daughters relationship with his wife has been quite volatile since she was 10. I want to express I have never had any influence on how both of my kids have made their minds up about the wife, she showed them who she was all on her own.
My ex husband has made many selfish decisions, has always backed his wife and chosen to support her even when she’s in the wrong which has led to this being the icing on the cake for my daughter.
They are due to go to Cyprus next week, and I have tried everything in my power to convince my daughter to go, but I won’t force her. She’d rather stay at home and go to school than put herself in a position to be around his wife. This evening I’ve had to console my 10 year old son because he’s so upset that shes choosing not to go, he was there when she screamed in my daughters face, it’s all been very confusing for him and he just kept crying saying how it won’t be the same without her. I’m honestly broken for both of my kids and I don’t know what to do. The wife is not reasonable and she feels she’s done nothing wrong and hasn’t even tried to make amends with my daughter so that she doesn’t miss out on time with her dad, brother, grandma and uncle who are also going. Her grandma has onset of dementia so likely this will also be the last holiday that she’ll remember with my kids too. Their dad isn’t doing anything about any of this, he’s not bothered that she doesn’t want to stay at his anymore and doesn’t want to go on holiday. I’m the one picking up all of the pieces and have done since we split 10 years ago.
I just don’t know how to make this right for my kids, I’m thinking of messaging the wife and asking if she can try and speak to my daughter and say that she wants her to come as I think that’s what my daughter needs to hear. She’s been made to feel she’s not welcome for a while, the wife has pushed her out on purpose because my daughter has called her out on who she is, she’s very smart and has seen her true colours and the wife has been pushing her out since then. I feel if I message her, it’ll be the power trip that she’s looking for but if I have to get down on bender knees to make my kids happy then that’s what I’ll do. I don’t want my daughter missing out, but equally think she’ll turn around and just give me abuse, she’s a narcissist and has ruined mine and my kids lives since she had an affair with my ex husband 10 yrs ago. I’ve always kept my mouth shut, always promoted a healthy relationship with their dad and the wife as what they did to me has nothing to do with my kids but unfortunately my daughter saw her for who she was anyway and my son is slowly seeing the same so it’s going to be another cycle of upset and rejection that I’ll have to deal with when that time comes for my son aswell. My daughter is so depressed and all of this is massively effecting my son and myself too.
I just don’t know what the right thing is to do in this situation, my heart is breaking constantly and he couldn’t care less.
submitted by Beehive-honey to Parenting [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 23:43 rsj0810 Need a good cry

I've had a pretty rough and traumatic year. My therapist says I should stop reading so much and sit and process my grief, but since I'm not a good listener I decided I can kill two birds with one stone. I'm looking for a book that has a main character that has been through hell or tragedy. I want something that will make me cry, but also has a HEA and spice? I want something to tug at my heart strings and make me ugly cry, but like I said, a happy ending.
Things that made me cry in previous books:
Aefe's story line In {Daughter of no worlds by Carissa Broadbent}
Celeste's way of thinking in {Bound to fall by A.K.Caggiano}
submitted by rsj0810 to fantasyromance [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 23:41 Emeraldsinger Governor Swann has to be one of the most underrated characters in the franchise

A Disney trilogy from the early 2000's set in the 18th century about a rich girl who comes from royalty falling for a poor blacksmith boy and choosing a pirates life. You'd expect the father character to be the cliche weathly snobby politician who doesn't give his daughter any autonomy and arranges a marriage with another man of equal class. And then is disgusted/unaccepting of the lifestyle and love she ends up choosing for herself. Yet, throughout the trilogy he's potrayed as a caring and kind man who only wants his daughter to be happy and clearly has some noble morals as he cares for the interests of others around him. He even speaks out against Beckett despite them both being representatives of the same government, which sadly got him killed.
He's a great character who, despite limited screen time, was one of the best people on a moral level we see in this franchise.
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2024.06.09 23:35 ButterscotchOne1072 I told my mom to “leave as soon as I get home” while she was watching my kids.

This is a long story but I will try and condense as much as humanly possible. Also on my phone so if it’s the wrong format I apologize. I just really need advice from a neutral party.
I 34F have a mom who wasn’t around much when I was a kid. Always chose drugs and men over her 2 daughters. We lived with my dad as he had sole custody. She’s done so much over the years, if I put it all in we would have a novel. My dads parents, my grandparents, helped out so much and did so much with my sister and I. We had more of a “mom and dad” relationship verses a “grandparent” relationship. We had our own bedrooms at there house and they would take us on trips, amusement parks, basically we were always with them. My grandma and I were inseparable.
When I would see my mom it wasn’t very long visits and I’ll use one story as an example of how our relationship was. I was 16, and she was bringing me back to my dad’s. I had just gotten a prom dress and was so excited to show her! To this day it’s still my absolute favorite. When I came downstairs the only thing she did was look at the tag and say “I’d never be able to fit into that, I’m a size 6!” As she’s smiling and laughing too in her world to notice I’m on the verge of a breakdown while looking at my dad he was my rock. Many more things to add but I’ll stop there.
My grandmother who I’ve been inseparable with had gotten diagnosed with dementia a few years ago. My husband and I had been living with her at this time, and had been since my grandpa died 10 years ago to help her and she was never one to be alone so as much as it helped us not have to pay rent or anything it also helped her. We did everything at the house from grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning etc. We started looking for a place when she got diagnosed because we knew with 2 kids it would become to much for her and my sister lived a block away until we found a nursing home. She wasn’t alone long but if anyone’s had to deal with nursing homes and pricing with Medicaid, at least in Ohio, you have to sell literally all your assets and have under $2,000 in the bank at all times. So we were going to have to move regardless and at that time didn’t want to be homeless.
About a year after we moved out I felt bad for my mom as her fiance had unexpectedly passed away. We hadn’t really had a relationship up until this point. She quickly weaseled her way into me and my families lives. My kids 4 and 8 see her often. Every now and then would still make comments about my weight. At this point I was 1 yr post partum. I should also add I’m the only one who has a relationship with her in the entire family.
I have over the last year lost 70 pounds and feel better then ever. I feel like I have my body back. I’m working on toning my “baby belly” now but other than that my stomach is flat! I’m FINALLY confident in myself! Well over the last several weeks my dear mother has made comments about my weight. How I’m now “too skinny” and “don’t lose anymore weight you’ll be too skinny” never happy with how I look basically. How my stomach is flat but I still have a “buldge, but it’s a cute buldge” makes it better right? I should mention she’s no longer on drugs so she herself has gained quite a bit and has all sorts of hip and knee problems.
The last few weeks my grandma’s health has been significantly deteriorating. I’ve gone up everyday and some days my mom has come to sit with the kids so I can go. On Friday, I get back, and my mom was asking “how much do you weigh now?” I said “down to 150!” She said “that’s great, are you done now?” I said “no I’d like to lose maybe 10-15 more”. She then goes, “I’d stop now, you don’t want to be too skinny and look like your on drugs!” I said “I’m gonna lose what I want”. She then looks at me with the most serious look and says “you’re not using drugs to lose weight are you?” I said “what? Absolutely not!” Shocked and appalled she would even ask that. Then looks at me confused, “you sure your not using?” I replied with, “no mom, I’m not. I would never put my kids through what I went through as a kid. It was awful and I’d never” now offended and she said “okay well it’s easy to get into so just had to ask”. She left and I was heated. Mind you at this time I had been over her stuff for a few months now. She’s a legit Karen, those videos online? Yeah that’s her to a T. She’s a full blown narcissist.
So this morning I get a phone call from my dad at 730 saying the nursing home called and it’s not gonna be long. I called my mom asking if she could come now. She said she was gonna get dressed and be on her way. My dad calls back and didn’t have to say anything. I broke down. My grandma had died. So I put myself together as best I can, call her and say don’t rush just get here when you can. She got here at 8/815 and I left to say my goodbyes with my dad, stepmom and sister. About an hour into being there my dad, sister and I get a few messages about there condolences. Weird as we havnt told anyone yet but who? My mom who was watching my kids. SHE MADE A FACEBOOK POST! WTF! I immediately text her and tell her to take it down. She replied with “I didn’t say any names”. I go “you didn’t say any names but mentioned it being your former mother in law and ex husband. Anyone can put two and two together. We don’t need this while saying goodbye.” She said, “okay I took it down”. I just said “thank you.”.
I go back into the room and am just livid. I told them how people knew and was just shaking in anger, grief, disbelief my own mom was trying to make yet again, this all about her. My dad loses it and just starts crying along with my sister as I’m saying “fuck her I hate her how could she”. Made what was an already hard time, losing my grandma who was practically my mom, even harder. About an hour later we’re all leaving. I get into my car just shaking with emotion and I texted her “I'm on my way home, I'm really upset and think it would be a good idea for you to leave when I get home. I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to say anything in front of the kids you should have waited to tell anyone or say anything on Facebook until WE did. I mean we were literally saying our goodbyes as people started texting which is something I, Ashley and dad didn't need.”
She didn’t reply. My husband talked me down as much as he could while at work. I’m normally a person who stays as far away from conflict as much as possible and I bottle things up. The last few months she’s been so jealous when other people come over or we go do stuff, she’s been picking at my weight and more and I just had it. I havnt heard from her since and that’s okay. I just wanted to know if I was TAH for how I handled it. I texted her because I didn’t want to blow up in front of my kids. If you need more info I’m an open book, just ask.
submitted by ButterscotchOne1072 to toxicparents [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 23:29 ButterscotchOne1072 AITAH for telling my mom to “leave as soon as I get home” while she was watching my kids?

This is a long story but I will try and condense as much as humanly possible. Also on my phone so if it’s the wrong format I apologize. I just really need advice from a neutral party.
I 34F have a mom who wasn’t around much when I was a kid. Always chose drugs and men over her 2 daughters. We lived with my dad as he had sole custody. She has done so much over the years, I’d have a novel when I was done if I put it all. His parents, my grandparents, helped out so much and did so much with my sister and I. We had more of a “mom and dad” relationship verses a “grandparent” relationship. We had our own bedrooms at there house and they would take us on trips, amusement parks, basically we were always with them. My grandma and I were inseparable.
When I would see my mom it wasn’t very long visits and I’ll use one story as an example of how our relationship was. I was 16, and she was bringing me back to my dad’s. I had just gotten a prom dress and was so excited to show her! To this day it’s still my absolute favorite. When I came downstairs the only thing she did was look at the tag and say “I’d never be able to fit into that, I’m a size 6!” As she’s smiling and laughing too in her world to notice I’m on the verge of a breakdown while looking at my dad he was my rock. Many more things to add but I’ll stop there.
My grandmother who I’ve been inseparable with had gotten diagnosed with dementia a few years ago. My husband and I had been living with her at this time, and had been since my grandpa died 10 years ago to help her and she was never one to be alone so as much as it helped us not have to pay rent or anything it also helped her. We did everything at the house from grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning etc. We started looking for a place when she got diagnosed because we knew with 2 kids it would become to much for her and my sister lived a block away until we found a nursing home. She wasn’t alone long but if anyone’s had to deal with nursing homes and pricing with Medicaid, at least in Ohio, you have to sell literally all your assets and have under $2,000 in the bank at all times. So we were going to have to move regardless and at that time didn’t want to be homeless.
About a year after we moved out I felt bad for my mom as her fiance had unexpectedly passed away. We hadn’t really had a relationship up until this point. She quickly weaseled her way into me and my families lives. My kids 4 and 8 see her often. Every now and then would still make comments about my weight. At this point I was 1 yr post partum. I should also add I’m the only one who has a relationship with her in the entire family.
I have over the last year lost 70 pounds and feel better then ever. I feel like I have my body back. I’m working on toning my “baby belly” now but other than that my stomach is flat! I’m FINALLY confident in myself! Well over the last several weeks my dear mother has made comments about my weight. How I’m now “too skinny” and “don’t lose anymore weight you’ll be too skinny” never happy with how I look basically. How my stomach is flat but I still have a “buldge, but it’s a cute buldge” makes it better right? I should mention she’s no longer on drugs so she herself has gained quite a bit and has all sorts of hip and knee problems.
The last few weeks my grandma’s health has been significantly deteriorating. I’ve gone up everyday and some days my mom has come to sit with the kids so I can go. On Friday, I get back, and my mom was asking “how much do you weigh now?” I said “down to 150!” She said “that’s great, are you done now?” I said “no I’d like to lose maybe 10-15 more”. She then goes, “I’d stop now, you don’t want to be too skinny and look like your on drugs!” I said “I’m gonna lose what I want”. She then looks at me with the most serious look and says “you’re not using drugs to lose weight are you?” I said “what? Absolutely not!” Shocked and appalled she would even ask that. Then looks at me confused, “you sure your not using?” I replied with, “no mom, I’m not. I would never put my kids through what I went through as a kid. It was awful and I’d never” now offended and she said “okay well it’s easy to get into so just had to ask”. She left and I was heated. Mind you at this time I had been over her stuff for a few months now. She’s a legit Karen, those videos online? Yeah that’s her to a T. She’s a full blown narcissist.
So this morning I get a phone call from my dad at 730 saying the nursing home called and it’s not gonna be long. I called my mom asking if she could come now. She said she was gonna get dressed and be on her way. My dad calls back and didn’t have to say anything. I broke down. My grandma had died. So I put myself together as best I can, call her and say don’t rush just get here when you can. She got here at 8/815 and I left to say my goodbyes with my dad, stepmom and sister. About an hour into being there my dad, sister and I get a few messages about there condolences. Weird as we havnt told anyone yet but who? My mom who was watching my kids. SHE MADE A FACEBOOK POST! WTF! I immediately text her and tell her to take it down. She replied with “I didn’t say any names”. I go “you didn’t say any names but mentioned it being your former mother in law and ex husband. Anyone can put two and two together. We don’t need this while saying goodbye.” She said, “okay I took it down”. I just said “thank you.”.
I go back into the room and am just livid. I told them how people knew and was just shaking in anger, grief, disbelief my own mom was trying to make yet again, this all about her. My dad loses it and just starts crying along with my sister as I’m saying “fuck her I hate her how could she”. Made what was an already hard time, losing my grandma who was practically my mom, even harder. About an hour later we’re all leaving. I get into my car just shaking with emotion and I texted her “I'm on my way home, I'm really upset and think it would be a good idea for you to leave when I get home. I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to say anything in front of the kids you should have waited to tell anyone or say anything on Facebook until WE did. I mean we were literally saying our goodbyes as people started texting which is something I, Ashley and dad didn't need.”
She didn’t reply. My husband talked me down as much as he could while at work. I’m normally a person who stays as far away from conflict as much as possible and I bottle things up. The last few months she’s been so jealous when other people come over or we go do stuff, she’s been picking at my weight and more and I just had it. I havnt heard from her since and that’s okay. I just wanted to know if I was TAH for how I handled it. I texted her because I didn’t want to blow up in front of my kids. If you need more info I’m an open book, just ask.
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2024.06.09 23:28 TouchGrasso Loneliness and boredom

I'm in my 2nd year of undergrad now, as an international student from europe, M21, human biology field.
I decided to stay in London for the summer as I want to work on my dissertation and some other personal projects. Academically-wise, I'm doing really good. Studying what I want, where I want and doing it as well as I want. However, my social life absolutely sucks. I have lovely flatmates with whom I am close with and also my good high school friends are here, but I struggle to make friends with other international students and other domestic students.
It's a combination of the effects of how my first year went, and the general incompatibility with people around me. My first year's home sickness hit me like a truck. Worst depression of my life, lasted until about halfway through year 2. I have recovered since and actually my life is pretty great now, but I just do everything alone, occasionally meeting my high school friends. I feel bored out of my MIND. I realised the depression and anxiety made me lead a life of someone who's more like 40, not 20.
Here, I notice many students, I find, are cutthroat and/or superficial. People are also crazy different. We have middle eastern immigrants, coke addicted oligarchs, gay rights activists, finance bros, Shy nerds, Indonesian Royalty, Confident Nerds, Autistic geniuses, Average Katies, and everyone in between. It's nice in a way that surely it's possible to find your own people here, but on the other hand I often find myself alienated and isolated due to how little I have in common with most people. In my mind the conversations typically play out as: "Oh you're a Masters student in English Literature? That's great, you know the last poem I read was 3 years ago" Of course in reality I do make an effort to connect, but most of the time the efforts just fall short of the expectations.
I miss having a close knit community. In high school we'd party at each other's houses almost every week, everyone knew each other and was treating each other with kindness. We were all pretty much the same in terms of what our background was, what we studied, what our struggles were, and above all we all were forced to co-exist in a small school and small classrooms, and so people were not ignorant of one another. Sex life was better too, it was easy to meet new people, it was arguably less competitive and also there was less of a separation between highly outgoing clubbing people and nerdy/shy people. Also, I notice that there's hardly anyone who's academically driven AND fun. I'd be so happy to see someone wanting to save humanity AND get fucked up on a rave together.
Anyone sharing the same feelings? Any remedies you found? How do I survive this summer and not die of boredom?
TL;DR
I'm a 21-year-old international student in London studying human biology. While academically successful and enjoying my studies, I feel extremely lonely and bored. I struggle to make new friends outside of my flatmates and high school friends. My first year was tough due to severe homesickness and depression. Now, I find the diverse student population difficult to connect with, as most conversations feel superficial or forced. I miss the close-knit, fun, and supportive community of my high school. I seek advice on overcoming loneliness and boredom, especially during this summer while working on my dissertation and personal projects. Any tips for finding like-minded people or coping strategies?
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2024.06.09 23:24 ammcf88 Should I adjust my expectations?

I have a 2 year old daughter (28 months) and, of course I love her more than anything, but I’m feeling really bad about hating this stage. She can’t entertain herself for even two full minutes if I am around. I used to deploy the tablet as my ace-in-the-hole, but she’s on to me. She senses my desperation when I pull it out and comes at me even harder. CONSTANT whining, never-ending bids for attention, and so clingy. But she’s only like this around me! When it’s dad and kiddo, she actually plays. At daycare, at grandmas, she’s a different kid! Happy, playful, brave! Around me she is whiny, clingy, defiant, wants to be held constantly.
She’s an only child and, without labeling it, I was a bit of an attachment mom when she was an infant. Breastfed her until she was two, and mostly chest, I hated pumping. I coslept for that long as well, and still sleep with her most nights. Did it backfire? Will I ever get to use my arms again??
She’s a toddler, so I am sure the problem is me. Is this normal? Will this pass?When?!?
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2024.06.09 23:21 slayeryamcha Things i outright would change in rwby.

My changes.
World:
Ozma and Salem are believed to be first-human/gods creator that together created mankind. Both are praised in churches. In "The parents" religion lore, it is believed that humans had made disgusting blashemy against gods, making Ozma leave world and Salem to wept in saddness. Grimm are creatures of dark made from Salem's tears and hunt evil humans. Grimm after death turn into dark goo that needs to be banished by paladin/knight or priest. It can infect humans and turn them into mindless zombie like creatures(they can use weapons and be turned to Cultists by Tyrian who leads Salem's despair. Infection can be cured but it is hard)
There are two churches of "all parents", International Church and Salem's dispair. International Church is akin to Templars when Salem's despair is like death cult(exluding killing themselfs).
Salem's Despair is lead by it's "pope" Tyrian. They somehow menaged to tame Grimm to aid them in battles against Church order, nobody knows how they done it.
Goal of Salem's Despair is to open portal to summon both Salem and Ozma to purge earth from wicked, cultists believe that such show of their devotion will make them chosen people of gods that will survive the purge. To acomplish this task, they believe that they need to bring all artifacts together to summon them.
Of course International Church led by Ozpin wants to stop them. Ozpin is not Ozma, Popes of international church just take name starting with O when they become popes.
Both ozma and salem don't do anything in world till being summoned, they are disapointed in mankind and wait till it will get better.
Atlas is named high Mantle being rich part of kingdom and it is situated on mountain's side.
No kingdoms because kingdom can't exist without a king, so we have nations. Mistral is a country plunged into anarchy and Vacuo has become a vassal of Vale.
Mistral is divided in two parts, controlled territory and lawless one. As name suggest controlled territory is the part under rule of Mistral's gov.
All nations have armies but Vacuo one is mostly militia under Vale's control.
Mantle's army is the strongest one and most advanced too. But "advanced stuff" like robots, mechs and massive flying battle ships are made in small ammount because it is expensive as fuck.
In Vacuo exist big rebel group called "Vacuo's liberation army("VLA") that fights against Vacuo's gov, Valian units(like valian army and Rich families mercenaries) and SDC
Rich families like Schnee or Winchesters have their own personal mercenary armies.
Instead of white fang(stupid name), there is United Faunus Front(UFF) lead by Sienna. Ghira's organization was simply called International Faunus Movement(IFM)
Every faunus is cat faunus and they are divided in four groups:
  1. Valian faunus, descended from liberated slaves who, together with the Vale army, arrived and settled in Vale after the World War. Almost completely assimilated into Valian population and often serve in it's army.
  2. Mistralian faunus, descended from slaves liberated by Vale who remained in Mistral. Due to their history, they often join the UFF to take revenge on the Mistralian population.
  3. Mantlian faunus were slaves or faunus immigrants from Magierane or Mistral. The majority of the Faunus population in Mantle is employed by the SDC. Under Jacques who decided to use faunus as source of votes, they are treated fairly well. Thanks to it, SDC is mostly safe from UFF attacks. But this also created of many theories that UFF is in fact founded by it to destroy SDC's competition.
  4. Magierane faunus, divided into local and migrant. The locals have the features of Bengal tigers, one of them is partly Adam. The migrants were former slaves from the rest of the world.
First years of beacon(yang, weiss, blake) are 18, Ruby is 16, Adam is 24, Winter is 23. Taiyang/Qrow are 44. Huntsmen schools now are now schools of Church order.
Character changes(names + small info)
Adam Taurus -> Adam Khan Info: He is nothing like og. Now he is black haired tiger faunus, tall and proud. Trained from young age, Adam is killing machine that rips apart anybody that dares to opose him. He wants to marry Blake to crowns himself as next Chieftain of magierane. Biggest change is that he is Jacques son and he loves his father. Yup, in my idea Jacques loves his bastard son and helped Sienna create UFF. Both have good relationships thanks to Jacques many "work" visits to Magierane.
Taiyang Xiao-Long -> Tyler Drake
Info: One of the most deadly men walking on Remnant, works as mercenary for most powerful families. It brought him lot of friends and enemies alike. He is still softie when it comes to his baby girls
Yang Xiao-Long -> Sunny Drake Ruby Rose -> Ruby Drake
Info: Those gals only got name change, ok maybe Yang got little more slutty
Summer Rose/Raven Branwen -> Summer Drake(Maiden name Nikos) Info: Summer and Raven mashed to one character. Once deadly templar, after becoming mother, Summer decided to retire and work in small school in Patch. Raven's right hand woman is now Hellen Nikos, Pyrrha's younger sister.
Qrow Branwen->Autumn Nikos Info: Summer's Brother. Say goodbye to happy drunk uncle, this one is die hard patriot of Mistral. Lover of order and devoted beliver of Ozma. He is hard ass but loves his family.
Sky Lark -> Simon Lark Info: Now he is named simon, fight me cowards
Dove Bronzewing -> Devin Bronzewing Info: Who the fuck, names their son a pigeon?
Bart Oobleck -> Edmund Oobleck Info: His name is hard to write. Also he and Port are girl's cool uncles.
Glynda Goodwitch -> Glynda Oobleck-Goodwitch Info: Yup, our ol witch felt into hands of charming coffe addict
Whitley Schnee -> Jason Schnee Info: Athletic, Ambitious and Smart, in short he is an ASS. He is trully his father son.
Jacques Schnee -> Jacques Durand-Schnee Info: Far more proud but also far more carring. This dude goes from cold blooded killer into family man really quick. Hard but fair, loves his kids and even his white haired wife. Poor soldier that got into most powerful family of Mantle by pure luck.
Jaune Arc -> Arthur Drake Info: Third child of Duncan Drake, young Arthur always wanted to be a knight of holy order. With years of training under watch of his father and uncle, he is ready to take Beacon in STORM!
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2024.06.09 23:19 Relative-Issue3037 My father just passed away a few hours ago

My dad just passed away two hours ago. He had diabetes for about 25 years. Today he was suddenly hospitalized and soon fell into a coma and had to undergo dialysis. Unfortunately, it didn’t work . His heart had stopped 4 times in total and he didn’t wake up at all until the end.
I just came back from another city. When I was there my father already fell into a coma. His heart had stopped once but his condition had been stabilized. So I waited outside praying for him to wake up. But the doctor soon called me in. He told us to sign the committed paper. My father had to undergo dialysis or he might suffer heart failure soon. But according to his situation-a 81 years old man- he might suffer the same heart failure too if he doesn’t undergo dialysis anyway. Me mind was a mess. So I signed the papers so that my Dad might had his treatment. And… it didn’t helped at all. My father condition had reached his worst. He had to replied on the breathing machine to breathe.
I was kneeling by his bed side, talking to him and trying to wake him up by telling him stories about our family members. And I swear!!! He really reacted to my words. I had seen hope so I told him all sorts of things about my family for him, anything that I can think of that could make him happy. I even pretend to when I was a little girl, acting spoiled and asked him to wake up to bring me home (just like when I was young, my father bring me out to his party and gathering, getting drunk to death and refused to go home. I always had to beg him to bring me home before he got to drunk every time). I swears he really reacted to my words. He had barely breathe when I just came back and now he had breathed stronger and more stable. But everyone think otherwise, the doctor keeps on asking us to give up and bring my father home. It’s hopeless. I told them about how I thought my father had getting better. But no one agrees, they all told me it was just the effect of the breathing machine and I had to give up since my father was in so much pain now, that I should give him relief.
After bringing him home under the request of my mother, my father breathing tube was removed. He soon had difficulty breathing and passed away right after. I just feel so death inside.
Now I wonder if he really heard me talking to him in his coma, or I just imagine it. If he didn’t heard my voice, then my father might lost his chance to see his favorite youngest daughter in his final time. We never get to say goodbye or have any sign of it. It’s the worst. I’m drowning in guilt. I’m already 27 years old, but I can’t accept this. I hate every New Years come ever since I realized the age gap between me and my parents in grade school, as it means I had to add another ages to my parents and myself.
I just wish all my life just passed in a blur, so that I can reunited with my father right after. The next morning sounded good for a father - daughter reunions isn’t it?
submitted by Relative-Issue3037 to GriefSupport [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 23:16 achago Trip Report (Family of Four with girls 11, 14)

I hope this report helps others as much as the ones before helped me plan!
May 30-June 8
Traveled to Japan from the west coast of US with husband and two daughters, 14 & 11.
May 30 Arrived at Narita Airport around 3 PM. The line at customs was over an hour long and it was stiflingly hot and humid in the customs area. the line wound around 2 giant rooms. We had done the QR code and it didn’t even matter- the line for QR code people and paper form people was the same line. After the long flight there, this was hard on us.
Arrived at our hotel- the FAV Tokyo Hotel in Ryogoku. I picked this hotel because of the price. It was high quality and the staff were super nice. The original room we had, though, was really small- 200 sq feet. we felt really cramped in there and ended up upgrading to a bigger room after 3 nights.
Upon arriving we unpacked a bit, walked around the corner to get some ramen, stopped at 7-11 to get some snacks and I checked the pharmacy for CPAP water. I found “soft water”- which I used and it seemed to be ok, even though they didn’t have official distilled water. We crashed around 8 pm.
May 31 It was a little rainy in the morning, so we changed up our plans and started in Akihabara. We went to a cat cafe and loved it- the cats were all super cute and healthy. They seemed pretty spoiled! We were underwhelmed by the anime stores in Akihabara though- I think you need to be really into it to like them. We were all feeling pretty tired so we went back to the hotel for a bit, then went out in the evening to Senso-Ji. Unfortunately all the vendors in Nakimise dori were closing when we got there, so we didn’t try a lot of the food we wanted to. But it was nice to see the temple when it was less crowded. We went to dinner at a sushi restaurant in Asakusa, and went to a cabaret dance show at Asakusa Kugua- which we all LOVED. We booked the tix through Viator but I think you can book directly. My 11 year old said it was her favorite part of the trip. I loved the shopping area around it. I actually wish we stayed in Asakusa- it ended up being my favorite area of Tokyo.
June 1 We started with day with breakfast at Yoshinoya which ended up being what we did every day, because my youngest daughter liked it so much. Traditional breakfast of miso soup, white rice and salmon. After that we went to Happy Pancake to see what all the fuss was about. I loved them- my daughters didn’t- they thought they tasted like eggs. After that, we did Shibuya scrambled, checked out Loft, went to Takeshita Dori in Harajuku and went to the Puma store in Shinjuku. I think it was a mistake to do these areas on a Saturday. The crowds were something I wasn’t prepared for- obviously I had seen videos but actually BEING in the chaos is a different story. I was really overwhelmed and tired by the end of this long day and I fell asleep by 7.
June 2 We started the day at TeamLabs Planets- which was really cool. We had booked our tickets well in advance and we didn’t feel overly crowded since they do timed entry. After that, we went to Yanaka Ginza, as I had heard that old town was a nice change to Shibuya. It was- but I wished for more- the “shopping street” was not as long as I thought it would be. Luckily it was walking distance to Nezu shrine, which was absolutely gorgeous. It started raining just as we arrived and I enjoyed the quiet, serene setting, watching the raindrops in the stream with koi fish swimming around. It was one of my favorite places in Tokyo.
June 3 This was our “theatrical” day. We started with a Samurai class that I had booked through Viator. Again, you could book directly through Samurai Theater. This was SO MUCH FUN. My husband’s favorite part of the trip. It was an hour long class, we got to dress up like Samurai’s (I’m plus size and it worked), and there’s a fun choreographed sequence they teach you that you do to music at the end. The instructors spoke great English and were just a lot of fun to spend time with.
We then went to Gonpachi- the restaurant that inspired the design of the restaurant in Kill Bill’s iconic sword fight scene. This didn’t disappoint- it’s a super unique interior design and we loved felling like we were in the movie (especially after having just had sword fights of our own!)
We ended the day with a Kimono Tea Ceremony with MAIKOYA Tokyo. This was also fun- the girls loved getting their hair done, getting to choose their kimono and we were all excited to learn how to make matcha tea and learn about the ceremony.
June 4 This was a “free” day so we decided to try Harajuku again on a weekday. It was a little less crowded and the girls were happy to get some fun clothes at ACDC Rags and Punyas. We also went to a puppy cafe. This one wasn’t as fun as the cat cafe. The dogs seemed really hungry- and it made me sad. (They looked well fed, but it makes me wonder if all their food comes through the hand feeding from visitors?) afterward, we went to the Pokémon Cafe for my 11 year old who loves Pokémon. The food was really bad- which we expected from reviews. I didn’t know, though, that you don’t get to take photos with Pikachu- he just does a little show and waves. This wasn’t worth it in my opinion. We then had ramen on “ramen street” at Tokyo station for dinner. We did the seafood ramen- I think I would have preferred a different one.
June 5 We traveled on the Shinkansen To Kyoto on this day. It was relatively easy as we connected through Shinagawa Station instead of Tokyo station. We checked into the Mimaru SHIJO (which was amazing and had free happy hour with beer and sake daily from 5-7!) and went straight to Nishiki Market and my husband tried allll the food. He loved all of it. The girls and I loved the shopping area connected to Nishiki. We did My Only Fragrance- a fun experience to design your own perfume (we had a reservation). I went to fushimi inari alone at sunset and was super excited that it wasn’t crowded and the light was stunning. I was there about 30 minutes. Later, My husband and I went out alone this evening in Gion. We saw two Maiko out and about (we didn’t take photos or harass). We also had the best sushi dinner of our lives in an 8-seat restaurant called Sushi Ninenzaka Numoto. We got REALLY lucky as we just walked in- I didn’t realize so many restaurants require reservations in Kyoto!
June 6 I woke up at the crack of dawn and my 14 year old and I took the Shinkansen down to Hiroshima. We went through the Peace Museum, which made both of us emotional- but her especially. She had to take some time afterwards sitting in the park on a bench while I explored the surrounding area- the dome, the different memorials, etc. we didn’t spend a lot of time in Hiroshima but it was important to me to go, and I’m happy we made the trip. My daughter said she wished I had warned her- had she known how emotional it would be she might have skipped it. I think it’s important that people learn from history so even though it was hard for her I’m glad she came with me. We were back in Kyoto by 2. We took a nap then took the train to Osaka to at least see the dotonbori- which was amazing. Such a great vibe. There was a live concert happening when we got there a girl JPoP band called Shinsekai Hero, and my daughters were super into it. We had conveyor belt sushi, tried some food at the stands and headed back to Kyoto.
June 7 Our last day in Japan. My husband and I went to Ninzaka and Sannenzaka at 10 when the shops opened up- we spent a lot. We loved the pottery shops and the doll shop. So many souvenirs bought. Later in the day we went to Kinkaku-Ji and it was everything I imagined and more. Even with the crowds it’s such a calming place. We tried to have dinner at a nice steakhouse that evening but again- no reservations.
June 7 Took the Shinkansen back from Kyoto to Tokyo station because we had an oversized bag and even with booking well in advance couldn’t get a reserved seat with the oversized bag connecting in Shinagawa. We made our connection (20 minutes!) but just barely and only because I had studied the Tokyo station map. If I hadn’t we would have missed our connection to the Narita express.
All in all- it was a great trip that was definitely a teaser for future trips. I wish we spent more time in Kyoto and Osaka- I think we would have liked those areas more than Tokyo. I also want to see more of the countryside, as I preferred the temples to the wild city.
Lessons learned -The subway was tricky for us- we gave up after day 1 and just took taxis which we not much more expensive than the subway and saved a lot of headache- we used Uber and the go taxi app - my daughter got a cold while we were there- the Payke app was a lifesaver as you could scan a bar code and the label with ingredients and instructions showed up in the app in English - my other daughters glasses broke - luckily there are a lot of eyeglass stores in Shibuya and they repaired them for a small fee - Make reservations in Kyoto - For language, I used “sumimasen” “nan ban nori ban?” and “arigato gozaimas” a lot but the other phrases I learned didn’t come up. I used google translate to type in and show people the Japanese when needed
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2024.06.09 23:13 mysteryShmeat The only thing keeping me from killing myself is my daughter.

I am alone and nothing I do makes me feel better. I hate myself for many reasons. I haven't felt happy in many years. Even the little bit of excitement I feel every now and again is fleeting. I used to be a confident person who people wanted to be around. I feel like that part of me is dead and gone and now I'm just here to be a parent to my daughter. She's amazing and I love her to death. I can't imagine leaving her and having her grow up without knowing her father. I can't imagine her having to understand later that her father killed himself. That's what keeps me here. And sometimes I truly wish I never met her mother so I could just kill myself without having to worry about her. But I would never wish her away. None of this is her fault and it breaks my heart to think of her not being here. It's only selfishness that makes me feel how I do sometimes. I'm a selfish piece of shit and I deserve to die. And I will some day. Just like everyone does. I will endure the rest of this shitty life for her. And one day I will feel the peace of death.
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2024.06.09 23:09 TA_Asleep-Line-3632 Marriage (of 18 years) in bad place and now my husband (44M) is being mean to me (42F) in front of the children. Is it worse to stay?

My husband (44M) and I (42F) have been married for 18 years. We have two pre-teen children. He was my first and only and I met him at 18. The last 10 years have been slowly getting rockier and rockier. We are just not meeting each other’s emotional needs and things get better then worse then better then worse. If I had to sum it all up…I am not as physically affectionate as he wants and I wish he was nicer. He is a very smart man but it can be hard to meet his standards and he doesn’t have a lot of patience (a bit harsh approach). On the flip side I can be a bit flighty/messy and I don’t get angry about alot of things and happy to just roll with it if someone else cares about something more. I think, initially, our differences together made us more balanced. When it was just us (or our children were younger) it wasn’t as much of an issue… but as they have gotten older… our styles have caused a lot of conflict between us.
I want to start by saying that he is a good guy. I think his frustration with me for just not being who he wants and failing to meet his needs over years is making him act harsher than he would if he was happy. I realize this and feel awful for that too. It is happening more and more and my kids are noticing and I am just beginning to think it is worse for them to see a relationship like this….then just divorce.
It’s nothing awful…so it’s hard to convey by what I mean is unkind. But a little example would be that yesterday I was sitting on the floor in our family room on my laptop. I was calling to setup a large pizza order for my daughter’s birthday party the next day and reading the delivery address off the laptop to the guy on the phone. My husband and son were at the kitchen table eating a snack. I’m almost done the call and my husband walks near me then turns back towards the kitchen and loudly says my name and something about the dog. I hold up my index finger to signal hold on and cover my ear so I can just finish hearing the pizza guy’s confirmation on address.
At that point I see from the corner of my eye a paper towel roll being thrown towards floonear me (not to hit me) and my husband muttering something to my son about “do it herself then!”. I then see my son get up and come over… picking up the paper towels… and say something about he can help clean it up. I then see what my son is looking at… and it is the dog throwing up to the side of me over by the chair. At this point as I hang up the call… I hear my husband telling my son “No don’t help her! she can clean it up herself now” My son then kinda looks unsure and slowly sits back at the table. I have hung up the call now and am getting up off the floor and grab the paper towels and get the cleaning spray. I ask why is he so mad and he says he tried to tell me that the dog was throwing up and to grab his collar so he can’t re-eat it and I ignored him…. So fine I can do it myself then if I want to let the dog eat his own throw up.
I tell him I was trying to just hear the end of the call and hadn’t seen the dog was throwing up. He then reiterates that is fine then I can do it myself and that is what he told our son. I said that is fine if you are annoyed with me, although I think it’s ridiculous to be so mad over this when I was on the phone so didn’t see, but why in the world would you tell our son he can’t help me either. Were you trying to punish me or something? He then doesn’t answer me so I ask him again. Nothing - just chewing his snack and staring at me. So I stare back and I say what are you not going to answer or talk to me now? Then he says he doesn’t have to answer my questions. I then say that I think it is very unfair to throw a whole fit because I was on the phone and didn’t see the dog throwing up… but now he won’t answer my questions about why he threw such a fit. I also say that I think telling our son he can’t help me either was very unkind to me and a dick move. I say I would never tell our kids that they can’t help him.
He then walked out of the room (silent treatment since). My son then looked at me from the table and said he is sorry.. that he wasn’t sure what to do because Dad had told him not to help either. I told him it is fine I understand… I just didnt understand why he was so mad in the first place. That I’m the one that cleans up after the dogs most of the time anyway so why would he even think I’m intentionally ignoring or dodging cleaning up throw up. My son then said he doesn’t know either but he thinks dad is just mean sometimes and shrugged. It just broke my heart when he said that.
I know this is such a ridiculous incident. I think I’m just retelling it because it is such a small thing but seems so… mean spirited to me…. And there’s other incidents like this that have been happening and my now preteen kids are seeing it. I thought getting a divorce would blow up their lives so it’s better to keep trying but now I think we are just an awful example for them on how people are supposed to treat each other.
In the past I probably would have just apologized or whatever to calm things down as obviously I hurt his feelings by telling him to wait while on the phone. But I feel myself just getting angrier too after each incident… and that isn’t me either. I feel bad for confronting him in front of our son who already had gotten stuck in the middle. This is making us both crappy versions of ourselves and I don’t want end up hating each other.
I don’t know what to do. Am I crazy here for considering divorce over fights like this? What would you do?
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2024.06.09 22:55 HawaiianMixedPlate Shepard x Garrus Wedding

Honestly, I just want to know how many other people would drop an ungodly amount of money for another game (even if it was just a DLC) to see Shepard marry their love interest. In this case, my love interest was Garrus. I want to see them a few years after the fall of the reapers finally getting the peace they deserve.
Eve and Wrex’s children would be the flower girl/ring bearer.
Liara is the maid of honor with Tali, Ashley, and Miranda as bride’s maids.
Joker is the best man, while Wrex, Kaiden, and James are groomsmen.
Grunt, Jack, Jacob and Zaeed would be running security.
Eve would officiate the wedding and marry the two.
Shepard would be preparing to walk down the aisle alone. Shepard has gone through the galaxy fighting reapers, collectors, Cerberus, etc… But never was she this nervous. That’s when Admiral Hackett arrives, greeting her and handing her a data pad that has a voice memo from Captain Anderson. Anderson knew that he may not survive the final battle on Earth, but was confident that Shepard would succeed in their mission. Anderson also knew one day, Shepard might finally settle down, so he made this recording for her. Anderson apologized for not being there for her, but wishes Shepard to have a long and happy life. Anderson talked about how he saw Shepard not only as a solider, but as a daughter that he has always been proud of. He wishes he could be there to walk her down the aisle on her big day, but knows that Shepard has the strength to face anything. Anderson gives his final goodbye and signs off. Hackett being there says to Shepard that Anderson always talked about how proud he was of Shepard, and congratulates Shepard on her wedding. He takes his exit, and Shepard takes a deep breath as she opens the doors to walk down the aisle.
Idk how this turned into a short lil novel, I just wanted to ask how many people would pay good money for a DLC where Shepard marries their love interest 😭
submitted by HawaiianMixedPlate to masseffect [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 22:53 ButterscotchOne1072 AITAH after telling my mom to “leave as soon as I get home” while she was watching my kids?

This is a long story but I will try and condense as much as humanly possible. Also on my phone so if it’s the wrong format I apologize. I just really need advice from a neutral party.
I 34F have a mom who wasn’t around much when I was a kid. Always chose drugs and men over her 2 daughters. We lived with my dad as he had sole custody. His parents, my grandparents, helped out so much and did so much with my sister and I. We had more of a “mom and dad” relationship verses a “grandparent” relationship. We had our own bedrooms at there house and they would take us on trips, amusement parks, basically we were always with them. My grandma and I were inseparable. When I would see my mom it wasn’t very long visits and I’ll use one story as an example of how our relationship was. I was 16, and she was bringing me back to my dad’s. I had just gotten a prom dress and was so excited to show her! To this day it’s still my absolute favorite. When I came downstairs the only thing she did was look at the tag and say “I’d never be able to fit into that, I’m a size 6!” As she’s smiling and laughing too in her world to notice I’m on the verge of a breakdown while looking at my dad he was my rock. Many more things to add but I’ll stop there.
My grandmother who I’ve been inseparable with had gotten diagnosed with dementia a few years ago. My husband and I had been living with her at this time, and had been since my grandpa died 10 years ago to help her and she was never one to be alone so as much as it helped us not have to pay rent or anything it also helped her. We did everything at the house from grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning etc. We started looking for a place when she got diagnosed because we knew with 2 kids it would become to much for her and my sister lived a block away until we found a nursing home. She wasn’t alone long but if anyone’s had to deal with nursing homes and pricing with Medicaid, at least in Ohio, you have to sell literally all your assets and have under $2,000 in the bank at all times. So we were going to have to move regardless and at that time didn’t want to be homeless.
About a year after we moved out I felt bad for my mom as her fiance had unexpectedly passed away. We hadn’t really had a relationship up until this point. She quickly weaseled her way into me and my families lives. My kids 4 and 8 see her often. Every now and then would still make comments about my weight. At this point I was 1 yr post partum. I should also add I’m the only one who has a relationship with her in the entire family.
I have over the last year lost 70 pounds and feel better then ever. I feel like I have my body back. I’m working on toning my “baby belly” now but other than that my stomach is flat! I’m FINALLY confident in myself! Well over the last several weeks my dear mother has made comments about my weight. How I’m now “too skinny” and “don’t lose anymore weight you’ll be too skinny” never happy with how I look basically. How my stomach is flat but I still have a “buldge, but it’s a cute buldge” makes it better right? I should mention she’s no longer on drugs so she herself has gained quite a bit and has all sorts of hip and knee problems.
The last few weeks my grandma’s health has been significantly deteriorating. I’ve gone up everyday and some days my mom has come to sit with the kids so I can go. On Friday, I get back, and my mom was asking “how much do you weigh now?” I said “down to 150!” She said “that’s great, are you done now?” I said “no I’d like to lose maybe 10-15 more”. She then goes, “I’d stop now, you don’t want to be too skinny and look like your on drugs!” I said “I’m gonna lose what I want”. She then looks at me with the most serious look and says “you’re not using drugs to lose weight are you?” I said “what? Absolutely not!” Shocked and appalled she would even ask that. Then looks at me confused, “you sure your not using?” I replied with, “no mom, I’m not. I would never put my kids through what I went through as a kid. It was awful and I’d never” now offended and she said “okay well it’s easy to get into so just had to ask”. She left and I was heated. Mind you at this time I had been over her stuff for a few months now. She’s a legit Karen, those videos online? Yeah that’s her to a T. She’s a full blown narcissist.
So this morning I get a phone call from my dad at 730 saying the nursing home called and it’s not gonna be long. I called my mom asking if she could come now. She said she was gonna get dressed and be on her way. My dad calls back and didn’t have to say anything. I broke down. My grandma had died. So I put myself together as best I can, call her and say don’t rush just get here when you can. She got here at 8/815 and I left to say my goodbyes with my dad, stepmom and sister. About an hour into being there my dad, sister and I get a few messages about there condolences. Weird as we havnt told anyone yet but who? My mom who was watching my kids. SHE MADE A FACEBOOK POST! WTF! I immediately text her and tell her to take it down. She replied with “I didn’t say any names”. I go “you didn’t say any names but mentioned it being your former mother in law and ex husband. Anyone can put two and two together. We don’t need this while saying goodbye.” She said, “okay I took it down”. I just said “thank you.”.
I go back into the room and am just livid. I told them how people knew and was just shaking in anger, grief, disbelief my own mom was trying to make yet again, this all about her. My dad loses it and just starts crying along with my sister as I’m saying “fuck her I hate her how could she”. Made what was an already hard time, losing my grandma who was practically my mom, even harder. About an hour later we’re all leaving. I get into my car just shaking with emotion and I texted her “I'm on my way home, I'm really upset and think it would be a good idea for you to leave when I get home. I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to say anything in front of the kids you should have waited to tell anyone or say anything on Facebook until WE did. I mean we were literally saying our goodbyes as people started texting which is something I, Ashley and dad didn't need.”
She didn’t reply. My husband talked me down as much as he could while at work. I’m normally a person who stays as far away from conflict as much as possible and I bottle things up. The last few months she’s been so jealous when other people come over or we go do stuff, she’s been picking at my weight and more and I just had it. I havnt heard from her since and that’s okay. I just wanted to know if I was TAH for how I handled it. I texted her because I didn’t want to blow up in front of my kids. If you need more info I’m an open book, just ask.
submitted by ButterscotchOne1072 to AITAH [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 22:51 One-Extent8042 Career Change Advice?

I’m a senior software engineer in tech, debating on changing positions. I’ve been at my current company for over 9 years.
I’m underpaid for my locality (currently at 131k base but average is 145k), and have about 31k in stock. I’m not sure how to count stock since it is so volatile, tomorrow it could easily become 20k, plus with the vestment schedule, I only see 1/3 of the money annually. My reported pay is at 162k with stock, but seems like I see more close to 141k a year with the vestments. Benefits are great, with a phenomenal 401k match.
I’m debating entering the public sector, working for the feds. There’s some good opportunities available, and benefits seem to be good. Retirement seems potentially better with pension, which also assumes I stay in fed gov for 20+ years.
The job I am currently at is hybrid, but since I’ve been with the company for so long there’s some flexibility. The position I’m currently looking at transitioning to is fully remote, which I’m excited at the prospect for because I get to be around my wife and daughter more frequently. There are weeks that I only get to see my daughter for an hour each work day because my current job can be so demanding.
I am also in line to get a promotion this winter, which will bump my base to ~145k.
I am definitely jumping the gun trying to think this all through, as my interview isn’t until this next week. But I’m trying to get the thought process started earlier on.
I know a lot of it “depends” on circumstances and I’m happy to answer any questions. This will be my first time changing companies, but I also don’t feel like my loyalty with my current company has necessarily gained me anything. I am a great performer, and got to senior software engineer by the time I was 26.
My current company has changed a lot over the past 2 years for the worst, deadlines have doubled and we’re understaffed, so theres been an expectation of overtime.
Has anyone made the jump from private to public? What made it worthwhile for you? What should I look for in an offer that’d make it worthwhile to transition? Any factors that I haven’t thought of that’d be good to note?
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2024.06.09 22:39 ThatKir Zen: One Big Happy Buddha Family

The Situation outside the Gates about Family

The meaning of family can be talked about in different ways. Three of the most common ways that people default to in talking about family are the biological/blood kinship that most of us that weren't born as orphans are familiar with, the formal religious institutions we belong to, as well as the elective communities we join that share a common set of shared symbols and values as well as offer support when we need it.
One of the most prominent examples of the third sort of family in Western culture that has received more attention in recent years are the support networks and communities that persons in the LGBTQ+ community have forged for themselves to make up for deficiencies in the former or as an adjunct to them.
https://prismreports.org/2022/09/16/queer-non-nuclear-non-conformist-family/
https://www.southcoast.org/pride-month-ally-moms-nancy
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/ng-interactive/2019/jun/20/american-family-trans-gender-queer-nonbinary

Entering the Gates

Zen communities were elective families that people entered in a manner distinct from biological kinship and religious institutions and in a way that generated a reaction of hostility, bigotry, and persecution that the modern religious-right in America has echoed in its targeting of trans youths.
Zen texts are replete with references to leaving home as well as biographical sketches of Zen Masters to-be setting aside both biological and religious families to engage with the Zen tradition. The biographical sketches need to be qualified with the fact that most of them were not written by the Zen Master themselves and are not referenced or cited in any great number in Zen instructional texts.

Yangshan

Ch' an master Hui Chi of Yang Shan mountain in Yuan Chou district was a native of Huai Hai in Shao Chou district. His lay surname was Yeh. At the age of fifteen, he intended to leave home but was prevented by his parents. Two years later, he cut off two of his fingers and prostrated himself before his parents, swearing that he would go in search of the right Dharma to pay the debt of gratitude which he owed them

Zhaozhou

After the master received the [precepts] and ordination, he heard that his original master1 had moved to Hu-kuo yuan in the west of Ts’ao province,’ so he returned there to pay his respects. Upon his return, his original master sent a message to his home saying, “A child of your house has returned from his travels.” The people of his household were extremely happy, and planned to come and see him the following day. The master heard of this and said, “There is no end to the worldly dusts of the net of love. I have rejected this, and have left home. I do not wish to see them a second time.” That night he packed his things and left.
1: No name given, no references by other Zen Masters. Safe to say this "original master" isn't of the lineage.

Huineng

My father, a native of Fan Yang, was dismissed from his official post and banished to be a commoner in Hsin Chou in Kwangtung. I was unlucky in that my father died when I was very young, leaving my mother poor and miserable. We moved to Canton and were then in very bad circumstances.
It must be due to my good karma in past lives that I heard about this, and that I was given ten taels for the maintenance of my mother by a man who advised me to go to HuangMei to interview the Fifth Patriarch. After arrangements had been made for her, I left for Huang Mei, which took me less than thirty days to reach.

Mingben

I had not yet finished school, that, when I was nine years old, my mother died and I [therefore] stopped attending school. From early on, I harbored the wish to become a monk. The worldly conditions daily became more restrictive, so I made a hundred plans how to abandon these conditions.
Until I was 24, although I made no special effort to liberate myself from these conditions, it just resolved by itself…
In the fifth month of this year, I climbed the mountain alone and paid the late master my respect.

Ascending the Seat

Zen instruction overturns both the blood-kinship-loyalty notions of family as well as the religious-doctrinal-affirmation notion of family while using the language of a Zen lineage with fathers, uncles, sons, daughters, and ancient patriarchs.
When the Master was crossing a river with Uncle Mi of Shen-shan, he asked, "How does one cross a river?"
"Don't get your feet wet," said Shen-shan.
At your venerable age, how can you say such a thing!" said the Master.
"How do you cross a river?" asked Shen-shan.
"Feet don't get wet," replied the Master.
This is an interview between Dongshan and his dharma-grandfather's (Yaoshan Weiyan) dharma-son (Shenshan Sengmi). There's an intergenerational dynamic of instruction being played out here as well as a context of references that could get lost in translation.
"How does one cross the river?" ("How do you get enlightened?")
"Don't get your feet wet," said Shen-shan. ("You can't do it by taking it step by step")
"At your venerable age, how can you say such a thing!" ("You're my uncle, you should know better than pulling this crap!")
"How do you cross a river?" ("What's your take, kid?")
"Feet don't get wet," ("Enlightenment is already manifest.")
From Linji:
"Followers of the Way, if you want to get the kind of understanding that accords with the Dharma, never be misled by others. Whether you're facing inward or facing outward. whatever you meet up with, just kill it! If you meet a buddha, kill the buddha. If you meet a patriarch, kill the patriarch. If you meet an arhat, kill the arhat. If you meet your parents, kill your parents. If you meet your kinfolk, kill your kinfolk. Then for the first time you will gain emancipation, will not be entangled with things, will pass freely anywhere you wish to go.
The context here is critical and frequently misrepresented in the West by Dogenism and New Age religious gurus.
The central practice of Zen instruction as attested by the thousand years of records is public interviewing, not meditation, not mind-purification, not sutra-chanting, not merit-cultivation.
You can only kill a buddha, a patriarch, a saint, your parents, and your kinfolk if you can proceed in dharma-conversation with them, answer their questions, and set out a question for them that leaves them unable to instantaneously attest. This goes to show that there is both a recognition of understanding within the Zen tradition that can be talked about as familial but which defies the commonplace understandings surrounding the duties of blood-kinship-loyalty and religious-affiliation that are couched as essentially and intrinsically familial by believers in them.
Of course, killing is only one-half of the Zen tradition of killing-and-giving-life. But if someone can't even kill, how could anyone say they know anything about the meaning of giving life?
I'll hand off the mic to Hengchuan.
Here he is speaking to an old lady that was visiting the Zen community-storehouse that she donated to:
A strong and solid storehouse — every person has one, filled with precious things, but these are not gold and silver. Today, grandmother, you must recognize yours, so in the future you won’t have to ask anyone else.
submitted by ThatKir to zen [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 22:38 TempusCarpe The Confirmed Hoax Fallacy

The Confirmed Hoax Fallacy
The Confirmed Hoax Fallacy An Old Argument Raises Its Ignorant Head Yet Again TEMPORAL RECON JUN 8
I was recently invited to write an essay by someone who I respect greatly in their own personal search for truth. He asked that, while an update to Conviction of a Time Traveler is not necessarily in the offing, he did wonder if I might be amenable to a friendly reminder of the evidence provided in COATT nearly a decade ago now.
What spurred his request was that he had noticed recently that several people online had been echoing the ‘confirmed hoax’ trope when discussions would might around to the John Titor series of posts which occurred online back in 2000/2001.
His noticing of this false argument was nothing new; I had also noticed it crop up from time to time over the last 20 years. I hold the ‘confirmed hoax’ argument in special and particular disdain. Why?
Primarily because evidence exists and was provided in Conviction of a Time Traveler in 2009 that Titor was legitimate and, ironically enough, was read by many of the so-called experts espousing the ‘confirmed hoax’ lie. So when these fake experts tell you that the Titor story was a ‘confirmed hoax,’ they are lying to you.
Conviction of a Time Traveler provided new and original evidence that has never, to date, been debunked since its publication; a full 14 years. The evidence provided (which many of these lazy forum participants are aware of) pointed to one, inexorable and inescapable conclusion: Titor was legit. But this evidence, while never disproven, is always ignored. Why is that? We’ll put a pin in that…
Pledge your support
Ironically, not only has the evidence documented in Conviction of a Time Traveler never been debunked, but it has also even been plagiarized by lazy authors who can’t be bothered to do original research or, lacking the intellectual horsepower necessary to do even that, fail to provide appropriate attribution to their source material.
So what of this, ‘Confirmed Hoax’ claim? Is it true? HAS the John Titor episode actually been ‘confirmed’ as a hoax?
When someone in a position of pretend authority declares from their cardboard pedestal that the John Titor story is a ‘Confirmed Hoax,’ have you ever noticed they never provide the person who did the confirming?
“Confirmed hoax?” ‘Confirmed’ by whom, pray tell?
When the term ‘Confirmed Hoax’ is used, what imagery comes to mind? I dare say it implies that some sort of shadowy group of learned scholars sat around a big wooden table, carefully assessed and addressed the claims. All the evidence and counter-arguments were carefully measured while hidden away in some stone castle somewhere until a white puff of smoke curls over its stone-tiled rooftops, declaring to the world once and for all,
“Our confirmation is complete. John Titor was a hoax!”
Bullshit.
Here’s the dirty little secret of the ‘Confirmed Hoax’ statements: they are actually shorthand for,
“I don’t have the intellectual capacity to argue in favor or against, so in order to come off like some sort of authority and maintain my fake position of authority, I’ll just take the safest position and simply declare that the Titor story is a hoax, that it was ‘confirmed’ and let’s please just move on to some other topic.”
‘Confirmed Hoax,’ is a coward’s gambit, a bet, that there won’t be anyone to come along to rock the boat and topple these posers off their flimsy stage of pretend authority.
This was the environment I walked into when I first published Conviction of a Time Traveler in 2010, and apparently, it hasn’t changed in 15 years.
When I first posted on Paranormalis (IIRC) announcing that I had written a book that documented the evidence in favor of Titor’s veracity, the then-reigning Titor authority (‘Darby’) haughtily pronounced, “Present your evidence and we’ll discuss it.”
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It was in that moment that I chose a path that nobody before me had ever embarked upon. I said, “No.”
Nobody had ever said ‘no’ before. There are pages and pages of forum posts by people before me who discovered some of the same bits and pieces that I discovered that pointed to Titor’s truth. And they were excited to show what they had discovered! And, owing to their excitement, and unfortunately, their naivete, they excitedly shared their evidence, wrongfully believing that the forums’ leadership was interested in getting to the bottom of the Titor episode.
Little did they suspect that ‘Darby’ and others were acting as gatekeepers of truth, whose sole purpose was to establish and maintain a lid on the narrative that was the John Titor episode. He, and his ilk gaslighted and bullied these poor naifs into silence by using their fake authority to debunk and explain away the very real evidence they had discovered.
That is, until COATT was published.
Unfortunately for these enemies of Truth, the internet is forever. In my research leading up to the publication of Conviction of a Time Traveler, I had the benefit of not only studying Titor’s posts, but also all the follow-on discussions after their departure.
I reviewed literally years of online forum content and, as I did so, I made a very curious observation: in all the years of discussion after Titor departed, not one piece of evidence ever (ever) caused ‘Darby’ or any of the other fake authorities to question their ‘it’s a hoax!’ position. They NEVER saw a piece of evidence that they didn’t dismiss, mock, ignore or explain away with contortions of logic that would make Wetzel’s Pretzels blush. This is in stark contrast to how someone who was truly in search of truth would act.
If ‘Darby’ and the others truly were curious, isn’t this a little odd? Really? Not ONE piece of evidence ever caused ‘Darby’ to pause and say, “hmm, that’s interesting…”
Not once, ever.
And there are years of forum posts to confirm this.
So, when Darby commanded from his perch of fake authority that I ‘present my evidence so that we might discuss it’ I laughed in his face [paraphrasing],
“No. A real discussion of the evidence hasn’t occurred here for years, and I do not recognize your so-called position as some sort of ‘expert’ on the Titor story. LITERALLY EVERYTHING there is to learn, or study, is published in the Titor posts for all to read. You hold no special knowledge, no special position, no special nothing. I do not submit to your fake authority. You want to learn about Titor, read the book.”
Or words to that effect, anyway…
In the end, the evidence provided in COATT was so unassailable and the argument so solid that ‘Darby’ and his ilk suddenly became more and more quiet as they slowly realized I wasn’t going to wilt under their “authoritay.” Eventually, they slinked away with their rhetorical tails tucked.
But this was not the end of the story! Because ‘time travel’ had become quite the pet interest of mine (owing to the further evidence I discovered after publication), that I continued to post online in various discussion forums. I even wrote numerous essays on a variety of topics, all spurred on by the ‘time travel’ question and all its implications.
Fast Forward Fast forwarding to today, we’re back at the ‘confirmed hoax’ argument again. What was once offered up (“HOAX!”) by Darby and others, is now cold soup served by the latest crop of fake authorities. And what happens when fake authority utters the ‘Confirmed Hoax’ discussion-brake? The same thing that happened a decade ago: the earnest neophyte shrugs their shoulders secure in the false belief that others smarter than they have studied the topic and arrived at some irrefutable conclusion; no further discussion necessary (or allowed). They have no idea just how close they came to uncovering something truly fantastic, had they only relied on their own judgment instead of the know-nothing proclamations of others.
Pledge your support
Which brings me to why I wrote COATT in the first place. Instead of simply doing my research and arriving at my own (private) conclusion, I realized that too many people were believing fake authority and ignoring Titor’s warnings about our future. Once I realized that Titor was legitimate (caveated, of course), how could I NOT share my findings? The stakes were simply too high.
IF what Titor said were true 24 years ago, that the world was heading for an upending change in the status quo, and that many people would die as a result of it, how could I remain silent and not inform others that his warnings were something to be listened to? Perhaps people with ears to hear might take heed and make the appropriate preparations. I know I did.
But, as my friend has informed me, it appears that the fake experts have reared their ugly and useless heads once again telling us that there is ‘nothing to the Titor story’ and that it is a “confirmed hoax.”
THIS was the reason that I was recently asked to provide my evidence once again. And THIS is the reason this essay is dragging on. These pretenders to authority are like roaches; as soon as the exterminator leaves, they come out of the woodwork intent on dismantling the Truth once again. God’s work never ends, it seems, even with a 99% success rate…
So, now that we’ve got all THAT out of the way, and as a sort of transition, I’d like to bring you up to speed on what I’ve been up to since I published Conviction of a Time Traveler in 2010.
To be perfectly frank, after COATT’s publication, I thought I was done with the Titor story; I had said my piece and was perfectly willing to move on with my life and prepare for the event that causes the change in the status quo. But the annoying fact was that the Titor story itself didn’t end with the cessation of Titor’s posts in 2001.
As new evidence appeared in the months and years following publication, like dog shit on my shoe that I can’t scrape off, I could never cleanly cleave myself from the Titor story. Not that I wanted to, mind you, it is a fascinating topic, regardless of your opinion.
But what surprised me the most was that new evidence continued to appear, year after year. And, as more evidence appeared, my curiosity was consistently kept piqued and on alert. Trust me, it is exhausting.
To give you a sense of what I discovered, I can tell you that your experts are wrong and that ‘time travel’ is neither novel nor unusual; we are very literally awash in ‘time travelers.’ My research suggests that ‘time machines’ have been present in our past going as far back as 850AD. But I digress.
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Suffice it to say that the Titor rabbit hole is but one example of a massively large group of programs from an unknown number of organizations from across time. The ‘time travel’ question runs much deeper (and much farther back in time) and crosses over into more (so-called) esoteric topics than anyone gives it credit for. As I said, it’s exhausting.
My whole point here is that, even after I published in 2009, my curiosity in the topic (and its implications of yet larger vistas) did not wane. And, because of this continued and unabating curiosity, I discovered yet more evidence, crafted more theories and came to more conclusions.
A philosopher once described the acquisition of new information as an ever-expanding circle surrounding the man; a horizon where known and unknown meet where new answers only beget new questions which push the circle farther and farther out. This has been my experience over the last 15 years re the Titor narrative and the larger ‘time travel’ question. How could it be otherwise?
Unfortunately for you, you are being convinced by fools that the Titor episode is a ‘Confirmed Hoax.’ You haven’t even made the leap to the possibility that ‘time travel’ is even possible. How can you explore the implications of ‘time travel’ when you can’t even consider its reality, a fundamental starting point? I have a very strong (ehem) conviction that our collective naïveté on the subject will be violently revoked in the very near ‘future.’
The Two Camps, The Two Mistakes During my research, I observed that within the Titor commentariat there are two basic camps: the Debunkers and the True Believers.
The Debunking camp will provide any contortion of logic to maintain the ‘Titor was a hoax’ narrative.
The True Believers, on the other hand, will believe any contortion of logic that maintains their belief in The Gospel of John.
What if I told you both camps were wrong?
Now, the debunking camp will tell you that Titor must be a hoax because his predictions didn’t come true. Oh, well…his predictions didn’t come true? I guess we’re done then? Obviously, his whole purpose for posting was to make predictions like some Magic Eight Ball, right? And if those don’t pan out, well, ‘CONFIRMED HOAX!’
Get the Book
On the other side of that coin, the True Believers out there, who never saw a confirmation bias they didn’t love, will tell you that Titor’s predictions didn’t come true because he changed the future. This of course is a recipe for explaining away literally any detracting evidence thus making Titor true no matter any evidence to the contrary.
Let’s take the True Believers first:
The concept of Divergence, while a handy explanation, does not/cannot explain all differences in histories away. In fact, were what Titor said was true (remember, we are True Believers for the moment and are taking Titor’s words as gospel) he absolutely must take measures to minimize divergence as much as possible and NOT allow it to span wildly. Otherwise, the entire power of the ‘time machine’ is rendered moot. I accept that Divergence is likely a real measurement necessary for the efficient execution of ‘time travel’ missions, but it should, by no means, be the magic skeleton key to explain away every question.
In fact, while divergence is very likely a real ‘thing’ or artifact or measurement of difference between world lines, the Truth is that divergence must absolutely be kept to a minimum to make any practical use of the gravity engine sitting in the back seat of your old blue Geo Metro.
So, no. Divergence cannot be the handy tool we need to contort ourselves into believing, as much as we might like to.
Now for the debunkers:
The debunkers have a variety of options available to them to argue that Titor was a ‘confirmed hoax.’ Regardless, these arguments typically boil down to two primary classes:
He has special training or knowledge, and/or
He’s just a lucky guesser.
Unfortunately for the debunkers (and those who listen to them), these explanations make a very serious error: that predictions are a relevant metric to judge Titor’s truth at all. They are not.
Serious question: Why should a ‘time traveler’ be subject to the same metrics that a psychic is to determine if his claims of ‘time travel’ are true?
The point here is that you can’t compare a horse to a whale and complain that the horse can’t swim. They are two completely different animals, and the same goes for ‘time travelers’ and psychics or tarot readers or any other domain whose reputation is dependent on the true-ness of the information they provide. Comparing Titor’s predictions to actual, experienced history is also an imperfect and inappropriate metric if one is to objectively assess Titor from a blank slate starting point. This points to a much deeper insight into the true purpose of the Titor posts, but that’s for a different day.
So, because of both these problems, any real researcher worth their salt would have to find some other way to determine the truth/falsity of the Titor narrative.
Remember, when first approaching the Titor question as an objective investigator, Titor is both equally a hoax and legitimate. Imagine Schrodinger’s cat meets Columbo…
I’ll give you this observation for free, just to get your juices flowing:
Did you notice that absolutely none of John’s predictions (event + date) came true, but all his statements concerning conditions about our future did?
Don’t you find this interesting? Or hadn’t you noticed, too blinded by the bright and shiny, attention-grabbing predictions of nuclear war?
But I am getting ahead of myself; we still haven’t provided the evidence that it’s simply more likely that Titor was an actual time traveler than some ‘hoaxer genius.’ And so we finally get to the whole point of this essay in the first place, a reminder and summary of the evidence first provided in Conviction of a Time Traveler all the way back in those halcyon days of 2010:
  1. Wireless Internet: Titor correctly predicted the advent of wireless internet when we were still using dial-up modems and America Online. Cable internet connections had only just been introduced.
“My closest friend raises horses and another works for a company that maintains “wireless” Internet nodes.”
– J. Titor, Nov 7, 2000
  1. YouTube becoming like ‘live theatre’: Titor correctly predicted the social evolution of YouTube and the decentralization of entertainment away from Hollywood evolving from short videos of grannies and cute kittens on Youtube to a sort of “live theatre” where actual shows would be presented by literally anyone, online, in a world that hadn’t even seen streaming services or video sharing services such as Rumble, etc.
“Yes, there is an entertainment industry. Again, it is very decentralized. The technology to express yourself with video is so readily available that many people do it all by themselves or in small groups. Much of the distribution is over the web. I would compare it theater here.”
-J. Titor
  1. IBM 5100 special capabilities: The statement that kicked everything off. Titor correctly identified the secret capabilities of the very first desktop computer manufactured by IBM in the 1970’s. These capabilities were utterly unknown and unacknowledged until Titor’s appearance in 2000. Interestingly, using this information, I was able to determine the most likely candidate of Titor’s grandfather which, upon this identification, also explained why Titor had to go all the way back to 1975 to pick up a copy of the 5100 and not 1985, 1995, or ‘elsewhen.’
“I was “sent” to get an IBM computer system called the 5100. It was one the first portable computers made and it has the ability to read the older IBM programming languages in addition to APL and Basic.”
– J. Titor, Nov 15, 2000
  1. VOIP: Titor correctly predicted the development of phone calls being run across the internet, again, in a time where downloading a picture over dial-up took minutes.
“Many people use the Internet for communication and entertainment. I would say that affects our speech. We type very fast.”
– J. Titor, Feb 15, 2001
  1. Soldier’s Winter Poem: Titor correctly predicted the poem, by name, “A Soldier’s Winter” and its topic. There is more to this particular prediction and statement about “A Soldier’s Winter“ than meets the eye, however.
“A Soldier’s Winter.”
-J. Titor, Feb 21, 2001
  1. Second gulf war: Titor correctly predicted a second incursion into Iraq by allied forces. There is also more to this statement by Titor as well. But that’s a little advanced for right now.
“Are you really surprised to find out that Iraq has nukes now or is that just BS to whip everyone up into accepting the next war?”
-J. Titor, Feb 25, 2001
  1. WMD and ‘hype’: Titor correctly predicted that the WMD story was hype and not to be believed (also, there is more to this statement than is visible on the surface). This statement’s purpose is closely related to statements #6 and #9.
“Are you really surprised to find out that Iraq has nukes now or is that just BS to whip everyone up into accepting the next war?”
-J. Titor, Feb 25, 2001
  1. Optical Measurement for atomic clock: A biggie. Titor correctly predicted the development of a new sort of atomic clock and the reasons why it was an improvement over the then-current ‘radio’ method of atomic measurement (more precise).
Specifically, atomic clocks determine the length of a second by measuring the frequency of a particular atom. Cesium, Rhodium, etc. Measuring this frequency is done using something called the “radio method” which makes use of a gas and hitting that gas and atom with a microwave (the ‘radio’ part of the measurement). However, Titor claimed that a new ‘time machine’ had been developed that makes use of an optical means of measuring the atom’s frequency, an improvement. The Optical Frequency Comb was developed after Titor’s departure which enabled the measurement of an atom’s frequency optically, and which also allowed for greater precision in that measurement. Titor’s statement is a 3-fer:
He predicts an optical measurement system for atomic clocks.
He predicts the new system measures oscillation and not some other aspect.
He predicts this new system increases measurement precision and not some other aspect.
“The C206 uses 6 cesium clocks but they use an optical system to check the oscillation frequency. This makes the worldline divergence confidence much higher.”
– J. Titor, Nov 7, 2000
  1. Ginger: The most enigmatic piece of evidence and what originally spurred me to look closer at this ‘confirmed hoax’ in 2010. In the very opening of Titor’s posts in 2000, someone asked three questions to allow Titor to ‘prove’ he was legitimate. Those questions were:
“1. What was the final death count in the recent India earthquake?
  1. What is the "Ginger" (IT) invention?
  2. Who wins the Stanley Cup (Hockey) this year?”
  • M. Kolesnik, Jan 29, 2001
As you see, questions 1 and 3 are of the magic eight ball variety and are wholly inappropriate to assess Titor’s truthfulness. But we’ll extend some grace to Mr. Kolesnik as it was so early on in their discourse. And Titor demurred on answering these two questions anyway. He refused to answer the first question because he claimed he simply didn’t know. And he refused to answer the third question because he felt it to be unfair for someone to earn money using his information (pointing to a larger context of rules by which they operate).
But, the middle question, ‘…what is Ginger…’ did not violate either of those two questions so he acquiesced and answered it. He answered by saying,
“It looks like a sort of motorized scooter. What do you think IT is?”
– J. Titor, Jan 29, 2001
This answer immediately got my attention because, in 2000 when the question was asked, the answer was truly unknown, thus Mr. Kolesnik’s question. However, in 2009 when I was first looking into the Titor narrative, I knew what Ginger was because I remembered it. Hindsight truly was 20/20.
As a bit of background, during 1999 (the exact timing escapes me), a ‘viral’ marketing campaign was underway by an inventor named Dean Kamen. While never revealing what this new product was, the billboards merely asked,
“What is IT?”
or
“What is Ginger?”
That was all they said. It is obvious now, and was obvious even then, that Kamen was attempting to create a buzz for his new invention. Fair enough. It also explains why it was asked of Titor in 2000. Kamen’s ad campaign was working! People were truly wondering.
Now understand, the hype (and I use that term specifically) surrounding the Ginger ad campaign was fairly strong. Kamen predicted that his invention would reinvent how people moved about cities; it would cause their utter redesign and how they were laid out and organized. Big claims, to be sure. So strong in fact that Kamen was able to land a spot on Good Morning America where he finally revealed what his invention was.
In December of 2001, and live on the air, Kamen, with Katie Couric, revealed Ginger to the world. Ginger was none other than the Segway.
And what did Titor say it was?
“A type of motorized scooter”
And Stella says there’s nothing more to learn…
Get the Book
Titor’s absolute spot-on declaration of what Kamen’s invention was nearly a year before it was unveiled hit me right between the eyes. Eight years later, I already knew that Ginger was the Segway because I remembered the event.
Here was a maniac on the internet claiming to be a ‘time traveler’ and he correctly ‘guessed’ what Ginger was a mere 2 ½ hours after it was asked and 11 months before it was officially unveiled?
It was Titor’s statement here that caused me to look deeper (much deeper, in fact) into the Titor narrative and, after exhaustive research and extensive supporting evidence, I concluded that Titor was in fact, legitimate.
Now here’s the truly interesting part of this piece of the Titor saga: you can’t find this statement about Ginger online anywhere anymore. It has been scrubbed from online sources everywhere.
Now, when I first discovered the Titor story, I saw that there appeared to be a couple different versions of the posts and I just, by chance, found a version of the posts with the Ginger reference in it. I saw that some versions had the Ginger reference, and some did not. At the time, I did not know how to understand this. But I do now.
Revisiting Old Theories As I mentioned before, hindsight is 20/20, and that is especially true when discussing ‘time travel’ and ‘time travelers.’ So, it seems oddly appropriate to provide a few examples of updated information that only revealed themselves with the fullness of time after publication.
‘leader’ In Conviction of a Time Traveler, I found the following quote especially interesting:
“The President or “leader” in 2005 I believe tried desperately to be the next Lincoln and hold the country together but many of their policies drove a larger wedge into the Bill of Rights. The President in 2009 was interested only in keeping his/her power base.”
  • J. Titor, Feb 19, 2001
And it wasn’t necessarily the full content of Titor’s statement here, it was those damn quotes around the word ‘leader.’ Why would he put quotes around a word so simple in its definition? In COATT, I surmised that Titor was referring to Obama at the time for a variety of reasons. Namely the very high coincidence factor between facts surrounding Obama and Lincoln. My own belief also was that Titor would not consider Obama as the rightful leader of the United States due to the known problems with his birth certificate, thus making him ineligible for the Presidency. Thus, Titor wrote ‘leader’ with those quotes around it indicating his misgivings.
Of course, here we are 24 years after Titor’s statement and 12 years after I wrote COATT, and I have now come to a different conclusion about the quotation marks around the word ‘leader’. I now surmise that Titor was referring to Biden and not Obama when he wrote that. Because I personally didn’t have a ‘time machine’ at the time, I never could have expected the dementia patient currently ‘in’ the White House and supposedly ‘leading’ the country. For anyone watching, it is patently obvious that Mr. Biden isn’t ‘leading’ anything. So, in the context of this and our current national situation, those quotation marks sure make a hell of a lot more sense now, don’t you think? This reassessment obviously puts a giant bullseye on the 2024-2025 time period for what Titor commented upon in 2000.
So, yes. I have reassessed this particular conclusion since publishing Conviction of a Time Traveler due to the slow passage of time and its equally slow revelation of Truth.
Gates Another interesting comment by Titor had to do with Bill Gates. Recall that in 2000/2001, Bill Gates was ‘merely’ the CEO of Microsoft. He was among the richest men in the world and many news stories of the time commented upon this fact. Almost kind of like Elon Musk’s notoriety in both scope and scale. So, as such, a forum participant named ‘Joe’ asked Titor for any information regarding Bill Gates’ future. Titor’s response?
“This I do know but I won’t discuss.”
-J. Titor, Feb 23, 2001
An interesting, if not completely unhelpful, answer. Wouldn’t you say?
Considering we now know how Gates has morphed from Tech Titan selling mediocre products to Farmland baron, GMO mosquito breeder and mRNA advocate and (alleged) mass murderer in India and elsewhere in the third world, Titor’s statement that he does know about Gates’ future rings true.
In fact, what was also a bit interesting was when someone later pressed him on any information regarding Gates’ future. To which he responded,
Just curious, why is he of such interest?
-J Titor, Mar 5, 2001
Considering what we know now about Gates and his predilections (his ‘wife’ deserted him upon revelation of his visits to Epstein Island), I’m willing to bet that John was naturally curious as to why Gates, of all people, was of such interest to the forum participants that they would ask twice about him. Coincidence? Or did Titor suspect a mole from a different program in the forum? Who knows. His curiosity about their curiosity in Gates is interesting, nothing more.
Conclusion And there you have (some of) it. A summary of some of the evidence documented in Conviction of a Time Traveler written nearly 15 years ago. The evidence contained in that small book has never been debunked or disproven. It has been plagiarized by some and ignored by others. If you were unaware of COATT and are a regular participant in the online discussions about ‘time travel,’ you should ask yourself why the ‘leadership’ on those forums never mention COATT. Curious, don’t you think?
The reason I wrote COATT in the first place was because, after I had done my own research to satiate my own personal curiosity, I realized that some people online were downplaying his posts’ importance in the hopes that they could dissuade people from believing in Titor and the possibility of ‘time travel.’
I saw this dishonesty and decided to fight back against it by merely providing the information I discovered. From my point of view, Titor was warning us about a very severe time in our future that would upend the status quo and was to be a highly dangerous one.
Taken at face value (always a good starting point), Titor’s warnings merited being taken seriously. Had the naysayer’s deceit been left unanswered, how many of you would have failed to prepare for what is just around the corner? You have prepared, haven’t you?
And yes, as is readily obvious to many, those hard times are right around the corner. Looking at Titor’s statements 24 years later and simply looking around at the state of America and the world, do his statements seem so outlandish now?
John’s ‘final’ words to the forum in March of 2001 ring eerily prescient now:
Bring a gas can with you when the car dies on the side of the road.
-J. Titor, Mar 23, 2001
It is my sincerest hope that my small book project (and the essays that followed) spurred you to think twice about the world we live in and take the necessary actions you feel you should to keep you and your family safe for the world’s awakening and rebirth.
As Ever,
Temporal Recon Share
As Ever
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2024.06.09 22:28 Comfortable-Prize-53 Feeling outcasted

Hi, I’m (21) not a stepmom but i am dating a guy (22) with a daughter. I want to marry this man and can see a fulfilling life with him. Since we aren’t married, I do have time to leave for things do go bad. But I love my bf and his daughter. I’m soooo in wife and stepmom mood bcuz of how much this man makes me happy and feels seen. I have been on this subreddit for a couple of months now and I haven’t seen anyone rejoice in being a stepmom. Is it wrong that I love his daughter as if she was my own? Should I leave this relationship bcuz of all the hardships that come with being a stepmom (as dictated by everyone’s posts here)? I want my own kids in the future with him and it just seems that his daughter and BM will ruin my life. (His BM has her crazy moments but she has been really chill lately. He absolutely despise his BM.) I just want some reassurance that even if it does get hard, that my love for his daughter (as my own) is okay to have.
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2024.06.09 22:26 Heartiona93 Hangout cancelled

AITAH for cancelling on my friend and her daughter. So seems very childish and small to me but my friend who is 35F and her daughter who is 10 had plans with me. Usually she comes to my place because she lives with her bf and his family and I don’t make a big deal about it. When they come I usually go above and beyond. I’ll cook home made food and her daughter who is very picky I usually have to cook a separate meal for her. My friend will also ask for a back massage because she will have a stiff back from working, which I’ve done to help her out. My friend will be needy when she’s over and when she asks multiple questions I get overstimulated mentally from my adhd. Plus I also have to entertain them and my friend likes to show up at like 9 or 10 in the morning and stay till about 3 pm which gets exhausting for me especially since I’m an introvert and just stay home for the most part. Now her daughter really seems to like me and I’ll include her in things we can all do. My friend is the type to ALWAYS give her daughter everything she wants, I do not do this with my son. So the day before i unexpectedly had a cook out at my bf parents house, was expecting to just cook for me and him and leave some for his parents and brother, but most of the family ended up coming which was about 15-20 people and I ended up grilling for like 5 hours and playing hostess. The following day I woke up at 3:30 am and was unable to get back to sleep and decided I’d just stay up since I made plans with my friend and her daughter. Originally when we talked about this I suggested a couple things we could possibly do which was coffee or go out for ice cream. When I woke up I ended up texting her that I’d only be able to hang out for 2 hours and that we could go grab coffee which is 2 mins from my house and we could come back to my place and that I have her daughters favorite ice cream at my house. My friend kind of gave me an attitude and kept saying “but you said we would go for ice cream and that’s what her daughter is expecting and wants” when I explained to her that I was really exhausted from the day before and was hoping to just stay home and relax, she stopped responding to me. I asked her if there was an issue and she just said no it’s fine. See you at 10. Normally she responds back and will engage in conversation, but it felt like she was just coming to make her daughter happy cause her daughter does enjoy coming over here. I asked again if there was an issue and if we could talk about it, explained I was grilling for 5 hours and up really early. She read the text and just didn’t respond back. So I texted her I’d prefer to cancel the whole day considering how it seemed she felt towards me, I didn’t want any drama or issues. She hasn’t replied at all and her daughter texted me with one word sentences and then when she kept texting me sad face emojis and the pondering look emoji I asked her what’s wrong she said nothing and then put another sad face emoji. I think the whole thing is childish and juvenile considering it was just a slight change of plans and thought it was actually rude to not even consider the fact that I was exhausted. I think it’s also weird and seems manipulative of her and her child to make me feel guilty for cancelling when I felt uncomfortable with how my friend was talking to me. I just want to know if I’m in the wrong.
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2024.06.09 22:23 Ok_Grapefruit_46 Looking for Advice: weird situation with my brother in law and sister

2 years ago I caught my brother in law taking pictures of me in my bikini. We were hanging out as families (My sisters family , My brothers family and my husband and I). The day plan was to go boating, dinner at my sisters and then for my husband and I to stay over. On the boat My brother in law usually takes lots of photos so it wasn’t strange that he had his phone out snapping pictures. But he was leaning strange and seemingly taking photos of me beside him ( aimed at my boobs). At one point on the boat my sister said “ it looks like ( name of brother in law) is taking photos of your boobs”. I had felt that he was so her saying this confirmed it for me. But in the moment I brushed it off. I noticed many separate times that he was doing this. After we got off the boat and were packing up , I pulled my sister aside and briefly said to her that I felt like he was and her saying it confirmed it for me. It was a quick convo because we were packing up. On the drive to dinner I told my husband and he was shocked. We both agreed this was incredibly strange and out of character for my BIL. My husband said if my gut feeling was that he had done it, then it was probably true that he did and to trust my gut. We got to their place and my sister had asked her husband if he had taken pictures of me (she did this privately with just him). He denied it. I was feeling sick at this point because it was so uncomfortable for me. I liked my BIL and although we’re not super close , I’m extremely close with my sister. He had never put me in a position like this and it was hard for me to believe that he had sexualized me like this. The next day she had asked him again and he denied it. He let her go through his phone and she didn’t see anything. Fast forward a year and my sister found photos on his phone of their daughter’s soccer coaches boobs. She was extremely upset about it. She confronted him about it and then also brought up me on the boat. He admitted to it and said he was embarrassed and deleted them right away. She asked why he did it and he didn’t give a reason. My sister asked how I felt about it and I told her that I would support her however she wanted to deal with this because it is her husband and her marriage. They were already in couples therapy because he had given one of his female coworkers money ( something like $800). He said he had done this because she was in tough times and had a young child. The coworker had threatened my BIL to give her more money or would tell my sister “everything”. He said there wasn’t anything to tell and so the co worker started messaging my sister on Facebook ( that they had a sexual relationship) and commenting on her pictures (“ what a nice family”). The female coworker was apparently threatening another male coworker but was going to call child services on him if he didn’t give her money. Apparently thier HR was made aware of these threats but she was later fired because of her active cocaine use on the job. Anyway. They stopped going to therapy because they felt that this issue had been resolved between them. When I asked my sister what the therapist said about the photos she said that they didn’t talk about it before they stopped. Because they were already in therapy I had assumed my sister would work through this issue but she/ they haven’t… The visits after my sister found the photos- my BIL would barely make eye contact with me nor conversation. It felt to me like he was embarrassed. It was just awkward for me. I love my sister deeply. I do not want to do anything to hurt her and keeping this a secret is a way I feel like I am protecting her and giving her space to deal with this without having any social pressures from others. We are coming up on 2 years and I need closure. I told my sister this and we agreed to have a group conversation about it ( us and our husbands). She admitted she was ignoring this issue between all of us and would talk to her husband about it. She asked for some time and I agreed- I told her I’d give her a couple months ( end of summer). We are at the start of summer now and am feeling nervous for this conversation. My husband and I have talked about it lots. He thinks I should be blatantly honest about my feelings. I worry if I do this it will drive a huge wedge between my sister and I. My current thoughts: 1. I do not want him alone with my daughter. She is a baby but even now my husband and I both currently feel uncomfortable when he holds her. 2. I am his only “sister” . He has always said that he loves me like a little sister and was so happy to get one when he married into the family. But for him to sexualize me like this makes me never want to trust him again. 3. I think that he is / has done more than what he has been caught with ( ex. The co worker). And my sister deserves the full truth from him. When we all hang out as families , we act like nothing is wrong and it can be really nice! I love my sister and her family and it feels so much easier to just slightly recognize that this happened ( cause I haven’t acknowledged this with my BIL yet) and move on. Selfishly I want to be super honest to hurt my BIL. It currently feels like he is getting away with his weird selfish behaviour and I want him to hear how his actions have impacts. But I also feel like it won’t go well?
Any alternative advice for moving forward? Should we have the meeting? Should I put this story to my other siblings and their significant others?
TLDR; My BIL got caught taking weird sexualized pictures of myself and his daughter’s soccer coach. Trying to move forward with my relationship with my sister who I adore but cannot trust him anymore because of his behaviour and looking for advice.
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2024.06.09 22:16 Hot-Test2125 Accomplishment (sort of?)

Today I went to my nephews birthday party. It was at a busy public park, music was blasting from the picnic table area we were at, kids screaming in the park and at the pool right beside it but I went. I haven’t left my house in months and the last time I did it was just a ride to the gas station and back. I haven’t driven in even longer but I drove to the party today! I went and stayed for around 3.5 hours. I grilled all the food for my sister while she set up, I played with all my baby nephews and my daughter. I talked to my grandma and parents and made plates of food for everyone. I sang happy birthday, at that point I’d been there around 3.5 hours and was feeling very drained but very accomplished. The only thing left to do was gifts so I told my sister I was gonna head out and she was pissed and being just really snotty and mean. Now my accomplishment feels like nothing like I didn’t do enough. I’m annoyed and hurt because she didn’t ever say thank you for coming or she was happy I was there, she just got mad when I was ready to go and messaged me saying my nephew was asking where I was which made me feel even worse. Smh
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