Jaw pain earache sore throat and face on right side

Female age 48, history of lumbar vertebrae problems. 5'6, 133 lbs.
Headaches, left arm weakness and pain. Cervical MRI, this is the readings of the areas where there seems to be issues, can someone help explain this to me? Thank you
INDIVIDUAL LEVELS C2-3: Normal disc height and signal. No disc herniation. No canal stenosis. Left facet joint unremarkable. Mild-moderate degenerative changes noted in the right facet joint. However, there is no significant foraminal stenosis on either side.
C3-4: Normal disc height and signal. No disc herniation or central canal stenosis. Mild degenerative change in the left facet joint. Moderate degenerative change in the right facet joint. There is no foraminal stenosis on the left side. Mild foraminal stenosis on the right side.
C4-5: Normal disc height and signal. No disc herniation or central canal stenosis. Mild facet arthropathy on the right side. No facet arthropathy on the left side. Mild foraminal stenosis noted bilaterally.
C5-6: Normal disc height and signal. However, there is relatively symmetrical annular bulging. This effaces the anterior aspect of the thecal sac but not the spinal cord. There is no dominant disc herniation. AP measurement of the central canal is 9 mm. There is small right-sided Luschka joint osteophyte. Mild right-sided foraminal stenosis. Also small left-sided Luschka joint osteophyte and mild left- sided foraminal stenosis. There are minimal degenerative changes in the facet joints at this level. There is no abnormal signal in the cervical cord at this level.

This is probably a longer story than it really is, but I am just trying to give as much context as I can.
In grade 11, me (F16-17) and my ex-friend (F16-17) were best friends. For some context, we both became friends fairly early in high school. In my country high school is from grade 8-grade 12. I joined the high school in grade 8 from out of city, the high school is just closer to me than the one in my city, so I was a new kid. I made some friends in grade 8 as a new kid but those friendships did end in grade 9. Grade 9 is when my best friend, we'll call her Emily, transferred to the school. And we formed a friendship. Through grade 9 we had formed our own little friend group with 2 other girls, we'll name them Clara and Sabrina. It was the 4 of us through majority of high school. We would always text each other, always hang out after school, spend any break we had at school together and had as much fun as any girls in high school could have (minus the partying because my school is not a partying school).
Emily and I were the closet in the friend group, afterall we were pretty similar and come from similar backgrounds (We're both a type of asian). We both would be described as the smart kids. We both would end up getting high grades in all of our classes. In grade 9, when we met, she told the friend group her dream was to become a doctor like her parents were, so she studied extra hard in high school to keep her grades high. I, on the other hand, did not really have any specific dreams. I wanted to become a writer or even a lawyer (but was worried because I'm not the best speaker). Due to that, I never tried that hard at school. Like i care about grades, my parents cared a lot about me getting high grades, but I wasn't studying for anything. And with that I never really studied either, I would do my homework and pay attention in class and take pretty notes but I was not spending any real time after class to do work Which is something that Emily would do. She would spend hours and hours a day just studying. If she wasn't studying she would be doing some volunterring or some club stuff.
Fast forward to grade 11. Right from the beginning of the year something just felt odd about our relationship. She seemed distant. Which I chalked up to it being we were now considered seniors at our high school so she was starting to stress about universities already, but it was still whatever. My school worked in semesters, so for half of the year we would have 4 specific classes which would then switch to different classes in second semester. During first semester I didn't have any classes with any of my friends. I was just chilling in all of my classess and getting adopted into different group friends in those classes. I was always well-liked in high school, I was not a popular kid. But compared to all the smart kids in the school, I was deemed the nicest so because of that everyone would be nice to me and friendly (even though I know for some of them it was so they could get hw answers out of me, but they were still very nice to me).
During this time, my friends and I would make up plans to hang out. We always made it a point to hang out at least once a week outside of school. It was always after school, we would usually study, walk around or go to the mall. In our gc on insta we would always double check with one another on which days to do it. Clara, Sabrina and I would always talk in the gc and were always the ones initiating the plans. Emily was also in the gc but would rarely reply to anything. Any times we would make plans to hang out, Emily would either not reply (which would then lead us to asking her during lunch the next day if she was free, where she would barely talk) or she would just say no to all plans. The few times she would say yes, she would always cancel the day of. Which would be annoying, and Clara, Sabrina and I would talk amongst ourselves that we found it odd she would always cancel and never want to hang out outside of school, but we were like it's not that big of a deal. She could just be busy.
We then just ahead to my birthday. Now i have an early birthday and it falls around the time that we come back to school after the winter break. Now during the winter break, Clara, Sabrina and I formed a seperate gc as it would just be the three of us talking and making plans. We also always took so many pictures and felt bad about sending it into the gc with the four of us in it as we didnt want Emily to feel bad about not coming. So we figured it was better if we kept it seperate. But in the main gc, I just ask when is everyone free to do something small. I'm not really a birthday person. Since high school, all my birthdays include going to some cozy restauraunt with my 4 closest friends and just having a casual dinner. So I ask and everyone leaves their responses, including Emily. We decide on a day, it would be after school just a day or two after my actual birthday and we would be going to a restuarunt and an arcade nearby (I have strict parents so I really wasn't allowed to go out late or really go out anywhere far). The plan is made and everything is set. When the day comes for the dinnearcade, we all meet up by our lockers to go take the bus together.
The 3 of us are there waiting for Emily to come and she does just a few minutes late. That is when she tells us she can't come because she has a club meeting today, and she told us it was mandatory for us to attend. Now of course my friends and I tried to convince her to blow it off just this one time, but she was adamant about going. So, whatever. We say bye to her and start walking to the bus. While walking there we bump into a mutual friend, also waiting for the bus. She is also in the same club, so we confused why she was here. We do ask her, saying "hey isn't there something happening with the club today?" That is when she tells us there was just this small meeting recapping what had happened in last weeks meeting for the people who missed it. Meaning the meeting was not madatory at all, especially when Emily had cancelled our plans last week to go to this said meeting. Meaning she did sort of lie to get out of going to my birthday party. I of course was hurt by this. When she told us she had to go to the meeting, I didn't think much of it as I knew how much school mattered to her and how much doing this club stuff mattered. But she had the choice to come, and she decided to just blow me off. We went out and had fun and didn't bring the matter up with her. We figured it was just her caring a bit too much about school.
Anyways this whole cancelling plans last minute, ghosting the main gc thing happened more and more. It also got to the point where if I wanted to talk to her, whether that was through text or in real life I would always have to approach her first. As this carried on for a while, i of course was getting a bit annoyed about where this friendship was going.
We now get to Emily's birthday a month later. Now Emily decided to plan her birthday, very last minute. I am just pointing this out as i am not a person who can do spontaneous plans, one because i have this need to plan properly and two because I do have strict parents. So i can't just spring a plan on them the day of and expect to go. Which is something Emily knows. Anyways she makes the plan and i tell my mom about it to ask if i can go and she says yes. The day before, Emily then decides to change the plan entirely. We were going to go into downtown city (for context, it's roughly 2 hours transit from our neighborhood). I obviously had to ask permission as she wanted to stay out late which is not something my parents would like, so when Emily told us at lunch the change in plans, Clara, Sabrina I told her we had to double check if we can still go as we all have strict parents, but our extended friend group were all down to go.
After school, the four of us head into the bathroom, which is a toally normal thing for high school girls to do before we headed out. While there Emily then decides to start a fight with me about not going to her birthday, which hasn't happened yet. She starts yelling at me about how Im mad that she didn't go to my birthday and am not going to hers as revenge (I'll be honest, I kinda forgot she didn't go). And starts yelling at me about how I'm being a bad friend and frankly a b*tch. And when I say she is screaming at me, I mean there is the largest echo circling our bathroom as she yells at me. Now I'm just standing there, trying to reason with her. I'm just trying to explain to her that i didn't say i wasn't coming, i just needed to get permission to go, which is something that Clara and Sarbina said as well but Emily wasn't saying anything about them. She proceeded to just yell at me for a solid 5 minutes. Another girl did walk into the bathroom, saw Emily yelling and just left, which I feel bad about. I do not do well with someone yelling at me, so I just tell her that I'm leaving now and we can talk later. I practically run out of the bathroom and out of school. Clara runs up to me and says i can't go home feeling like this. I felt horrible, i felt like throwing up. So Clara makes it her job to cheer me up as Sabrina is trying to calm Emily down. Clara takes me to Mcdonalds, where we split a meal as that became a tradition of ours and she bought me ice-cream to make me feel better. We end up spending roughly and hour and half there before starting to walk back to our houses. I did feel a lot better and I was smiling. Clara didn't really say much about what happened as she knew it would upset me. She just said that Emily was being mean and left it at that. At some point during our walk, Emily calls Clara and starts screaming at Clara over the phone about choosing "my side". I only know it was Emily because I can hear her screaming through the phone and Clara is trying to be nice to her and say she was comforting her friend like a good one would do. Emily continues screaming and Clara just hangs up on her.
We don't talk about it. Now the next day, at school, is Emily's birthday. I feel so awkward. Because i'm still upset about what happened. When I see her, I'm not sure if I should wish her a happy birthday. I feel like I am owed an apology first. so i don't really say anything to her. and we don't really talk. Now we are in the same Chemistry honours class together and are lab partners. So we have to talk. I ask her, if we're going to talk about what happened. And she just says, no, it's my birthday. I just say really but she doesn't say anything after. So Im just like, fine, whatever. We spend the entire class in awkward silence, and I do not see her again the entire day. Even at lunch because she has a club meeting or something. Clara, Sabrina and I all agree that we don't want to talk about it. Clara got an apology text last night but she was still mad about being yelled at over the phone. Sabrina asked us if we wanted to know what her and Emily talked about yesterday but i said no. I was frankly too mad and knew if anything was said, I would be upset. Emily did not end up having a birthday party. and there is now an awkward silence between the 4 of us. it's like a horror movie, where the music is playing and you just know something bad is coming and you have to wait for it.
A few days later, I know i have to say something. I can feel that our friendship is hanging by a thread and I want my best friend back. So at lunch, while we're all sitting by our lockers I bring up the topic. I do not remember the conversation that took place. All I know was that Emily was practically screaming in my face, in front of all our friends (Clara, Sabrina and 5 of our other friends). Everyone is trying to get her to stop, but she keeps yelling at me. At some point I just start crying. Now this is the first time, that someone outside of my family, has ever made me cry. Its the first time I have ever cried at school too. The tears are flowing down my face as I just say "i'm sorry i cant do this" to the rest of our friends as i had off to the bathroom to calm down. Clara and one of our other friends rush off with me to try to calm me down and stop the tears. But they keep coming. I can't stop them and am now in the bathroom splashing my face with water and doing my best to wipe them all away. Clara, this other friend and i all have the same class next. So they have to literally drag me to class as I'm sort of paralyzed about whats happening. When we get to the classroom, everyone there, which was half of the class is looking at me and seeing my red, teared-up face. Our seats are at the very back corner of the classroom, on the very opposite side from the door. So i have to walk past the entire face as they all stare at me and wonder whats happening. the entire time im not really paying any attention. during little work periods in the class, my fellow classmates would walk up to me and ask if im okay. which i would say yes, i was even though i wasnt because what else could i say. I ended up powering through the rest of the day before going home and wonderign what to do.
In the secret gc, I text with Clara and Sabrina about what my next steps should be. They suggest we have an actual therapy session as a friend group to discuss if we even want to be friends at this point. I agree to this. I even start writing up my own speech I am going to tell Emily when i see her.
So I'm just going to jump ahead to whenever this happens. It's during lunch, outside on the grass field. I am calm, I know what to say and everything. I'm sitting there with Clara and Sabrina has to literally drag Emily out of school to come and talk. I kid you not. We have like an hour for lunch. It takes 20 minutes for Emily to finally show up. And she shows up like, "ugh what are we even doing here? im kinda busy" and just acts like there is nothing at all wrong. I start to calmly explain to her how ive been feeling the entire year. I do not remmeber the conversation. But what I remember talking about is how i feel like she's distant, she's always cancelling plans, im always the one texting her first, about how she gets mad at me for small little things, how she yells at me, etc. My whole speech was about how "i don't want to feel like sh*t for trying to continue this friendship". Because even after the first time she yelled at me, I just wanted an apology and we could move on and that didn't happen. And now Im just like I don't want to cry again and don't want my tears to come from someone who's supposed to be my best friend. She does argue her case in this. Her whole thing is how "i'm being clingy and annoying and controlling".
Now for her arguement, I think it should be known more about my persoanlity type. I am not the best people person. I have social anxiety and how that manifests in me is that i can't really talk to people that well. I don't know how to converse and get incredibly nervous to talk to anyone new. So when I do become friends with someone, I do latch on to them. I talk to them all the time, when i can, and they become my person. I think that is where the clingy party comes from. For the controlling/annoying thing, I can only chalk it up to me always texting her. Like i said, i would always have to be the one initating our conversations and plans. So our chats always look like 5 bubbles of text from me (because i am the person that types in multiple bubbles rather than one large text bubble) and her short responses. When it comes to plans, as I said i do not do spontaenous plans. I need to have them properly organized for both my parents sakes and my sake. I'm not someone who plans everything out minute by minute, I just need to know times and places. And if you are actually free.
Thankfully this time, Emily isn't yelling at me however she is talkimg a bit loudly. Now at this point we have spent 25ish minutes talking about this when she suddently gets up and says "i have to go otherwise i'll be late for my class and get in trouble". Which there is still 15 minutes before lunch ends. And her classroom is across the hallway from my next class with Clara. The walk from the grass field was literally 2 minutes. Our coversation wasn;t done. There was no convlusion and no real understanding on either part. So all of us get up as Emily starts speed walking and we all chase her. We're all telling her there is still so much time left, but she doesn't listen and still carries on. So then I say, "i don't want to be friends anymore if this is what it's going to be like". and she says "fine." and walks away. and that was the end of our friendship.
It was almost spring break and our friends were doing their best to navigate the situation. I think they believed we both needed time to cool down and we can all be friends again. However that didn;t happen. Emily and i agreed to be civil as we still had the same friend group but she never really hung out with us in the next couple days, or talked during lunch and that was it.
The two of us did not talk at all. The only times we did was in our Chemistry class, where she did the most un-civil thing ever. As I said we were lab partners. Anytime we had any lab, involing the microscope, I would always be the person doing the microscope work as Emily writes down the results of what I found. I would then get the numbers or obersations from her and add them to my worksheet as our teacher wanted us to work in partners but submit our own work. This one lab went off for too long and the bell rung. So as we are packing up quickly, I ask Emily for the numbers she wrote down. She said she's late for something and will send me the numbers later today. And I'm like fine. She never did. It was also a Friday so we went into the weekend and she never sent me anything. I did text her once on Saturday and another time on Sunday if she could send it. but she never replied and i just asked another classmate if they could send me their answers. If our teacher asked why did we as partners have different answers, I was going to tell him Emily wouldn't give them to me. He never did ask and that was the last time we really talked.
We then headed into spring break which ended up turning into the pandemic lockdown. Now I feel so bad when saying this, as i know this was a difficult time for so many people. But me as a 17-year-old high school studnet, loved the first few weeks of lockdown. I saw it as a mental health break as all the stuff that went down with Emily did in fact put me into a depression phase (I actually do have depression and i do end up in mini-phases where its really bad). The lockdown gave me time to breathe as it felt like i was holding my breath for so long and i could relax. Now in the fall, our school did a hybrid for our last year. Which was fine, it was weird but managable. Emily did not talk to me, Clara or Sabrina at all during our seniour year. We graduated and my friends and I had the best time we could under pandemic restrictions.
Current day, I (21) am now in university. Clara and Sabrina and I are as close as ever and have managed to keep our friendship alive and strong even 3-4 years outside of high school and while all attending different universities. We still hang out regularly (once every week or so) and text all the time. And would you believe it, Emily goes to my university. Remember, how I said she wanted to become a doctor. Yeah so her plan was to go to university in Toronto for some medicine thing. I don't really know. She didn't do that. Instead she stayed in our city and decided to do business instead. What am I doing, you ask? Also business. Now I know I can't claim a school, or a major or anything like that. But i can't lie, im a little annoyed that she decided to swtich her career path to the same as mine. Thankfully Ive only had one class with her and it was one of those big lecture halls so i didn't have to talk with her. Just seeing her tho reminds me of high school and i can feel my blood pressure rising and me sweating as all the nerves and stress come back.
Anyways Clara and Sabrina's birthdays are coming up. Their birthdays are within the same week so since high school, they've always just done one big combined party. The two of them are both really chill people, they are friends with everyone and anyone. So as their coming up with their birthday plans, they are thinking of their guest list and Emily is on it. Now, Clara and Sabrina did ask me beforehand if they could invite her. They do want to make sure I am comfortable. They both tell me that they don't really talk to her anymore, maybe once every 3 months or something. They also haven't hung out since high school. But for their 21st birthday they are thinking of inviting everyone from our high school friend group to have sort of a mini-reuinion. I am down for it, I do think i have moved on, in the sense that I know I do not want Emily in my life. I do tell them I will probably feel awkwad but I can manage for one night for their birthday.
As I'm telling my sister (F16) about Clara and Sabrina's party and who's coming, she asks me about Emily. She basically says if Clara and Sabrina are fine with inviting her, that means they have forgiven her for high school stuff, so am I not being a bit mean for holding on to my feelings? I am a person who believes there is no expirational date on any pain caused by a person. I should not have to "forgive and forget" a person, who has not asked for it and who caused me so much pain just because that is how the world has worked. But it go me thinking, am i being a bit rude?
So, two questions: AITA for what happened in high-school? (am i in the wrong for the friendship breakup) and AITA for not wanting to forgive her?
A FEW NOTES: (i'll add more when i think of it)
I have not spoken to Emily since grade 12. Not in person, not through people, not through text. We have had no contact with one another and i am fine with that. I do not want any relationship with her.
Clara and Sabrina are two of the sweetest people in my life. It does not hurt me at all they have the odd interaction with Emily at all. Afterall they do say its very minimal contact and the few times they have made plans with Emily included, they let me know well in advance, ask if its okay to invite her and all that. Each time I say its fine because I know Im in a good place to not feel bad.
I have never yelled at Emily. Nor have I ever spoken badly about her. With our mutual friends I might complain about the situation, but I never say anything bad about her. I should also say, Emily i don't think was well-liked. As I said the two of are good students, the smart kids, whatever else you want to say. However Emily is what would be described as a "teacher's pet" and does give off an arrogant vibe at times towards others. Some of my other friends/classmates would sometimes make comments about this to me, but i would always sort of downplay it. Like, oh that's not how she really is, she just cares a lot about school. A few times I would say the comments are harsh to some of the classmates. Her, on the other hand, has called me a controlling b*tch to several people. who have all told me about it. She did bad-mouth to quite a few people.
At some point in grade 11 (not really relevant to the main story, but might be part of the reason Emily's always made at me), but I was blamed for a rumour going around that Emily had a crush on this guy in our grade. Emily and I had to go to this one teacher's class for some notes or something. And in the class was this girl who I didn;t really like. So before we walk in I whisper to her, no one can hear, that "hey there's that girl i don't like". Emily then makes it so obvious that she is looking at this girl. And next to her is one of the popular boys in our class. Emily makes it so obvious that shes looking in his direction and does it a few times, that the rumour she likes this guy becomes a huge joke in our grade. She does not like this guy, never has liked this guy, but it is a joke that him and his friends carry on. This continues for the entire year, and Emily in our therapy session does mention this fact. She says its my fault that this joke has gone around. I don't see how.

Kyoshi book 1 is the epitome of ‘a meeting that could have been an email’. Its book that should have been a graphic novel. A story that should have been a wikipedia page.
SPOILERS, though I am saving you the read.
TLDR: The story telling is mediocre, and the story would have been just as compelling as a bullet pointed list of story facts. It flubs, glosses over and skips all portions of story that would have required any amount of clever writing or skill. The story is comprised of cringey tropes. This book will not sit among the original series in the annals of history. It sits below Korra and just above M Knight’s film adaption and the disgraceful Netflix reboot.
First, the idea of there being immense trouble identifying the Avatar is a good plot point. Having Kuruk’s team find and teach the next Avatar and have opposing ideals is also a good plot point. Yee also describes the martial arts okay enough, but this is an inherent obstacle when turning highly visual source material into text. This concludes my praise.
Yee tells, but doesnt show. Show more teambuilding and friendship between Kyoshi, Rangi and Yun. They only come together once in the same room to hang out before the main conflict happens, and its a superficial scene straight out of an 80s slasher movie. They come together solely to ‘show’ them being a team as they hang out and exchange banter. This is the first of Yee’s pseudo-“show, don’t tell”. It appears like the story is showing us something, but it is still telling us. It is characterized by vapid, juvenile writing in a scene that is largely inconsequential to the story.
Make the misidentification of the Avatar weigh on each of them and test friendship. Show her being found by Kelsang. The jump forward 9 years is jarring and leaves logic way behind. If she was raised by Kelsang, why didnt he finish testing her as the Avatar? Why did he take pity and raise her after traveling the world and seeing other homeless children? Why didnt she give back the clay turtle relic? Kyoshi is abandoned when she is old enough to remember being abandon, but doesn’t remember where she got the turtle. This line is another example of pseudo-show. Why don’t we dont get any insight into the moment she is abandon? We do not know any of these things. Including these scenes in the book would have made it longer, but its the juiciest piece of the character development. The length of a book is largely forgivable if it is captivating. This is like if you order a burger and they only bring you a bun and a slice of bib lettuce. Its missing the most crucile part.
Show Yun being incorrectly identified as the Avatar. This scene has to be so interesting. There is nothing in the book about this at all. This seems like another artful dodge around having to write something clever, and that tends to be difficult.
Show Kyoshi’s Avatar state. ‘Blacking out’ is not a mysterious way to tell stories. Its a cop out of writing something the author finds difficult. Also, a character can black out and not remember doing something AND the author can still describe it as it happens to the reader. Choosing to ommit more juicey story speaks more to the writers lack of confidence in their writing.
The fans and helmet of her parents are forced clumsily into the story at the height of the inciting incident. They could have been introduced any time. For example, when Kyoshi connects with her parent’s old crime ring and they could be presented to Kyoshi as relics of the group’s deceased leaders. Instead they are introduced to the reader by Kyoshi dropping her luggage and they fall out in the rain and mud. It reads like a scene that is meant to be a story board for a cartoon or comic.
We dont get any insight into Kyoshi’s parents being dead or alive. Kyoshi doesnt seem to ask anyone either. Why? Seems like a reasonable question.
Kelsang realizes Kyoshi is the Avatar when she does some improv poetry that happens to be Avatar Kuruk’s favorite poem? That was the best idea you got?
Kyoshi has a sky bison named PengPeng? Find a new method of transportation, the flying bison had been done before. Pengpeng is also only used as transportation. She doesnt have any personality like Momo and Appa. Total strikeout.
When something new develops that is supposed to surprise the reader, like Kyoshi’s mother being a disgraced airbender, Yee doesnt show this. This is explained away in a moment of dialogue like “once upon a time, this happened.” Then the plot moves on. And what motivation did she have for keeping this from Kelsang? Maybe they knew each other? They are both airbenders who have killed before, which is significant in the fiction. This could have been an opportunity to connect characters and create intrigue. But we only learn this at the end of the book for no reason.
Love between ATLA characters is subtle in the show. Katara and Aang will end up together and we know this implicitly. Sokka loves his friends, particularly Toph, because of the actions we see him take to help her. Rewatch the show, you will see what I mean. However this is not a major plot point that is touched on each episode. Zuko and Mei are together but they are pulled apart temporarily by character motivations. It skips the filler and gets right to the interesting part. However in Kyoshi book 1, love between Rangi and Kyoshi is vapid and foreshadowed from the first pages. Lets set lesbianism aside, its not the issue. The issue is that this love story is not compelling chiefly because we are told they care for each other but are only shown this in the back half of the book on a surface level. Even when we are shown these things, its not believable. The characters act like teenagers do in 2024 America, not like how teenagers would act in a world coming off the heels of a 100 year war. The characters are young, but they have roles, careers, and the responsibilities of adults. This stems from the same problem Yun has with Kyoshi and Rangi. We don’t see them becoming or being friends. We are told they are friends. Thats it.
This connects to Rangi’s character being ambivalent and emotionally indistinct. Rangi is played as a tough, no nonsense soldier that is hired as Yun’s personal bodyguard, the most important job next to being the avatar yourself. But her expressions of love are juvenile and childish. In one scene she is scolding Kyoshi on her duty toward being Avatar then in the next she acts playfully excited like an American weeb teenager when Kyoshi bends water for the first time. Rangi is poorly written and has poor motivation to her Avatar duty. She contributes nothing practical or technical to the story but love interest. If she is a child prodigy badass that earned the job of protecting the Avatar, she should act like it.
Hei Ran, Rangi’s mother, does nothing consequential to the plot. Why have this character? It is stated she knew Avatar Kuruk. The least she can do is bring it up more.
AND FINALLY, Kyoshis character is very opposite from who we see in ATLA. Obviously this is to show growth, but the timid Kyoshi inexplicably switches to confident and intimidating Kyoshi without any growth, then switches back to timid again. We know kyoshi as a tall, confident, matter of fact, powerful bender who sees no difference between murdering Chin the Conquerer and letting him fall to his death. But here we see a still tall, but petulant teen. She is afraid of her bending. She is inconsistently overconfident. She is squemish about murder. Perhaps the growth occurs in book two, but then again change is gradual. We should see some examples of change now. She grew up a homeless street urchin. She needs to act like it.
Yun struggles with his bending but also keeps smiling and acting like everything is ok. This trope is exhausted to death by anime. We do not see a human side of Yun. He is not tortured by the training or the fatique of not being able to bend fire or the pressure and expectation of being Avatar. He just smiles and flirts with Kyoshi. He also asks her to go with him to a peace treaty signing with pirates all because he wants to have her there so he feels loved. But this thinly disguises the fact the author needed a reason to have her at the signing so she can earthbend and save everyone. Take Rangi, your apointed body guard.
Yun returns at the end of the novel as a deus ex machina and kills Jianzhu in an admittedly badass way. 10/10. However, Yun is dead, reappears as a ghost, then earth bends. The possibility of this within the fiction is near zero UNLESS FC Yee is trying add to the lore of spirit magic and bending. To that I say “Learn to be a better writer first.”
Kirima is an okay character. We traditionally see water benders as good guys, but she is a tough leader of a gang of criminals. Again we are told that, not shown. 5/10. Mid teir.
Wong is a worse comedic relief than Sokka. Where Sokka learns to become a leader from a close minded sceptic and redeem this quality, Wong is indistinct from any other background earth bender. He eventually becomes Kyoshis earthbending teacher and he starts to fill out a teacher role but is still indistinct. Up until this time, he carrys no air of educator at all. Remember, he’s a pirate criminal. This turn of character seems to come from the team learning that Kyoshi is the Avatar, something she kept secret. But Wong is the only one who changes their behavior based on this. Meeting the most important person in the world doesn’t effect them, I guess. Doesn’t seem reasonable.
Lek is a kid that idolizes Kyoshi’s parents, but acts out like a toddler when she speaks poorly of them. I am left feeling disatisfied by a criminal outlaw that throws tantrums when someone speaks ill of their pseudo mommy and daddy. Lek is poorly written as a rival to Kyoshi, if if fact that was Yee’s intention. You see it in their banter and interactions. Lek is killed by a poison that only incapacitates all others effected. It was like the author needed him to die real quick and didnt know how to do it, but also didn’t want to rewrite the chapter.
Now is a good time to mention that characters can be annoying to other characters, but they should not be annoying to the reader. Doing this is a form of self sabotage. Its like serving up raw eggs for breakfast on purpose and calling it art. You just wouldn’t do it.
Lao Ge is poorly written too, despite being an interesting character idea. Lao is meant to be Kyoshi’s spiritual leader in this story. He leads her to the ancient technique of prolonging ones life with spirit magic. But this man reads like an embarassing drunk uncle that no one responds to when he speaks. He acts like he’s cool, wanders off constantly and returns covered in blood to a group thats asks no questions. Criminals still ask questions. In fact, they are more paranoid on account of being criminals. For example, there is a scene where they leave without him and realize they forgot him and have to go back. This scene amounts to nothing. Why was it in the book? Whoops, he’s also a master assassin. We are told this over and over but never see it in action. Boo. Don’t suggest violence. Show us violence.
Why is this group of criminals still together anyway? They lost their leaders, Kyoshi’s parents. Wouldn’t the find new jobs? Thin the herd. Theres too many characters.
Jianzhu acts more suspicious after he is identified as the villain which is a trope found in childrens television to remind children he is bad now. The fact it is here insults the readers intellegence. His villain motivations are not explained well. Does he care more about identifying the Avatar than his lifelong friend Kelsang or the life of the innocent? Also, a villain doesnt need to kill someone to be identified as the villain but youll find that trope here too. Clever writing can remedy this all the same. He does do cool evil guy things, but they are explained after the fact instead of showing him coniving these schemes and putting them into action. His death is awesome, but his final confrontation with Kyoshi is not spectacular. There is no final battle like one might expect. He the one that ghost Yun kills.
It is unclear if this book is meant for a YA reader audience or the adult audience that watched ATLA as kids. The story is grittier, bloodier and violent with explicit deaths and torture. All the while bearing a sheen of squeeky clean Nickelodean dialogue and unfunny humor that has an obvious limit. The book says they swear, but the exact words do not show up in dialogue. Characters are impaled and gored, but the 3rd person narration takes breaks from descriptions of this for quippy commentary on the things happening. Who says these things? Kyoshi? But its in third person. This clashes with the perspective and shows indecision on the part of the author.
The perspective is stuck between 1st and 3rd. 1st serves better for the YA audience where Kyoshi might think these quippy things to herself or have thoughts that help the reader understand context better. 3rd person would serve the adult audience better with a matter of fact telling of the story. Maybe even change between characters in some chapters and fill in some of these gaps. Instead the book strattles the line between these two perspectives and suffers greatly. You have humorous commentary and scene descriptions coming from the same source. It breaks immersion when the reader is stuck wondering who is telling the story.
YA is an oversaturatedand flawed genre anyway. Its almost designed to trick teens into thinking they are reading adult books.
Yee includes too many comparisons, similies and analogies. Each one is meant to create world building, where the text compares a creature in the ATLA world to a situation at hand. But they start coming up too often in the back half of the book. This also seems to rise in frequency as descriptions get vaguer. It felt like Yee lacked the proper lexicon to describe what was happening as the story approached the end. Analogies should be used to explain difficult things, not just thrown in recklessly.
One moment sticks out from this book that reminds me of ATLA. While Yun and Kyoshi are silently trying to meditate before Jianzhu summons a spirit to finally identify the correct Avatar, the two teens speak for a second. Eyes closed, Kyoshi whispers “You know what would be funny? If neither of us were the Avatar.” This captures elements of friendship between the two kids, character humor, and SHOWS these two still care for each other no matter what happens next. Yun’s response isn’t even remotely appropriate, memorable or clever. The opportunity is a total loss.
Another moment of total loss and tonal dissonance is when Kyoshi, Rangi and the convicts go to a hidden secret criminal town that is described as being so cut throat, you don’t even look at people in the eye. Just then the group sees two men collide after turning a blind corner and drop their stuff. Page 224. They exchange appologies, act very polite, and depart. (This is told to the reader, not shown with appropriatly funny dialogue). Lek then explains the two men will meet tonight on the challenge grounds and fight to the death. However, that night at the challenge grounds, you don’t see those characters; a total whiff on Yee’s part. Instead you read about one man bludgeoning another man to death with barehands in pure gladitorial bloodsport. This scene shows the whimsy of ATLA, the gorey violence that Yee wanted and his befuddled attempt at writing something that blends the two.
All of this leads me to conclude the book is for a YA audience, which is unfortunate because ATLA was for everyone; YA, adult and children. It is a children’s show that adults can find a surprising amount of depth and humor in. Yee’s doesn’t hold a candle to the writing of Aaron Ehasz.
The argument that this books is allowed to be bad because its for kids falls apart for the same reason. The expert writing of Aaron Ehazs in ATLA is what imortalizes it to this day; the dialogue, the characters, and the story. ATLA is a kids cartoon by which all cinema and television are compared. This is simply not on that level.
When this level of integrity is left to be followed up by an author with one previously published work, underdelivery should be expected. Kyoshi book 1 is FC Yee’s second published work and it shows. I would be interested in learning more about FC Yee’s past unpublished experiences in writing and qualifications.
So again, this book is like a meeting that should have been an email. The story is not “worth the read”. The historical facts are more valuable. For example, telling someone that Kyoshi’s dad is a pirate earthbender and her mother is a disgraced criminal airbender is a total surprise and sparks good speculative conversation. But the way the novel presents this information is clumsy and ignorant of how rare these circumstances are within the fiction. These historical facts are just as compelling when read on the Avatar wiki page, negating the necessity for a book in the first place. I think this is symptomatic of writing a prequal too. We know enough about Kyoshi to be interested in her character, so the facts about her should be presented interestingly with art and showmanship.
This book leaves me with the sneaking suspicion that most of what FC Yee knows about writing was learned from anime, a genre so polluted its not worth even sifting through to find quality content. Hot take, I know.
His other books on Genie Lo (2017, 2020) are teen dramas with ‘the chosen one’ trope, as the summaries suggest. That must be why that shows in this book. Maybe FC Yee can only write one type of book.
Yee is also not an author by trade. He said in an interview that he works in mobile gaming as the guy who makes “everything less fun by adding stuff to the game you have to pay for.” He went to college for Economics, or so I read on his wiki page.
His book publisher proposed the two book series idea to Nickelodeon, it was not a matter of the creators carefully hand picking a writer. He also only worked with Mike DiMartino. In his interview, he says he did not work with Bryan Konietzko and never even mentions Aaron Ehasz. I believe this is to the great detrement of the story.
I’ve heard that people really liked this book. However, I wonder if that is genuine affection or the same kind of denial Star Wars fans had when the Phantom Menace came out. I draw this parallel because my father was that person. He recomended this book to me and gave it high praise in the same way he did when Phantom Menace released.
The fans, my father and myself included, are starved for any canon ATLA material. Feeding the fans undercooked meals is no way to make a fanbase grow. The ATLA fanbase already got food poisoning from M Knight’s movie. It recovered, but at a cost. I hate to think what might happen after the Netflix show and the animated movie of adult Aang.
I understand that Yee was a fan of the material. In fact, he and I share the same favorite character. So know that this is not an attack on a fellow fan of ATLA, I simply believe Yee is not the man for this job. Avatar deserves better than to be relegated to a YA novel lost in a sea of overproduced assembly line YA content. Avatar deserves a better writer. Save your fine cutlery for fine dining, don’t use polished silver to eat fast food.
To end, I leave you with this: if you want more Avatar content, gather some friends and play the Avatar rpg by Magpie Games. It is the most fun I’ve had in the ATLA world since I was a kid. If you play it right, you get that same sense of magic you got back in 2005 when Book Water came out.
Below is a link to an interview with Yee.
https://thenerdsofcolor.org/2019/07/15/from-fan-to-avatar-writer-f-c-yee-on-developing-the-story-of-avatar-kyoshi/amp/

I've been watching dimension 20 since 2019 (started with FH), didn't really have any dnd/dimension 20 friends back then. Over the years I got some and they're wonderful.
A year ago me and my flatmate from uni started watching TUC bc it was one of my favorites at the time so I rewatched it with her. She really liked it but we never picked up season 2/any other season.
Fast forward 1.5 years I'm starting to DM a game where both her and our mutual friend (which was actually my roommate a few years ago) are playing in. I was so hyped about the current season and lost it so hard in episode 17 that it made her want to watch it. She asked me tonight if I want to watch season 1 with her and I said yes bc nostalgia.
We started episode 1 and she really liked it. It was a bit late so she said she wants to watch half of episode 2 and leave the rest for tomorrow. I strongly suggested to either watch the whole thing now or leave it for tomorrow and she wanted me to watch it with her so we stayed up to watch it.
I warned her that the episode was mental but didn't get into specifics. It started off great she was laughing a ton throughout and had a really nice time. Then we go to the last 15 minutes. She lost it when Gorgug died and her jaw dropped. She said "they have to do something right??!" and we carried on.
When Aguefort walked in and when Kristen died she fully lost it. She got up and started pacing. I told her she should sit down and I kid you not she said "why? nothing else can happen now" and I got her to sit down.
When Aguefort started talking about deathI I saw her hunched over, eyes wide, mumbling stuff. When he pulled out the gun and shot Mr Gibbons and himself her eyes went even wider and I swear if her jaw could it would've hit the floor. Afterwards she just kept saying WTF over and over again. She loved it.
I forgot how visceral of a reaction this episode causes people to have. I remember I was shocked but to see it on the face of my friend brought up so many memories. She's been formally episode 2'd and I fully told her - now you have to watch this show forever - and she just said yeah and continued staring at the screen mouth agape.
If you have the opportunity to episode 2 some in person - do it. I can't explain the joy it gave me especially after all of these years of watching the show. Just can't recommend it enough. Every season something happens that's just a reminder of how great this show is and how I'm going to keep watching it until I can't anymore.
I'm gonna miss this season when it's over. It made me love Fantasy High so much. I really hope my flatmate gets to it someday.
This season has been so good, when it's done, I might just get the blues.

I planned to get him a checkup anyways because of his behavioural issues. I just like being prepared.
I don't know when it started because Ariel is untamed and skittish. It could be a scar, he's missing an eyelid on this side of his face too (he was bullied before I got him) but the vet never mentioned it so I suspect it's new.
He has a pinkish bump right next to his ear. It's covered with feathers and can be moved around. I don't know if it's painful he's aggressive during each checkup.
I checked his vent too and it's red. His poop is perfectly normal though.
There's no mites, his ears are clean, he doesn't have any balancing issues etc. His nostrils are a little red too but he's not sneezing.
He doesn't feel lighter than the rest of my tiels and his appetite is normal. I molested his keel bone though and he seems a little thin. I could be paranoid.
I don't think his behavioural issues are related to it. He's competing with his sons for a mate. He hardly ever sings, plucks my other birds, doesn't socialise as much as the rest. He's getting better though.
His feathers are really thinn, he's still recovering from his disordered moult. He grows pins but they feel way more fragile than my other birds'. His plumage is weird in general so I can't tell if it's a symptom or just the nature of his feathers.
I'm worried it's cancer. I don't want him to die.

First / Previous / Royal Road / Patreon (Read 12 Chapters Ahead)

Silently, Pale motioned for Kayla to follow her, and the two of them silently crept out of the cave. As they drew closer to the exit, Pale was finally able to make out the voices from earlier.
"-Sure they're here? The tracks faded a while back…"
"Where in the three hells else would they go? This is the only shelter around for miles. The snow may have covered their tracks, but they don't know this land like we do."
The talking soon devolved into bickering as the bandits fought among themselves. Pale shifted, pressing her weapon's stock against her shoulder, then began to carefully push out from inside the cave, Kayla following a few steps behind her. The snowfall had intensified even further from when they had sought refuge in the cave; between the falling specks of white and the steadily-encroaching dusk, visibility had dropped to near-zero. Despite this, Pale kept moving, seeking cover higher up in the mountains.
The two of them moved over the rocks as carefully as they could, taking care not to disturb any of them for fear of alerting the bandits. Pale couldn't tell how many there were; from the different voices in their group, she counted at least four, maybe five. Ballistic weapons or not, she didn't like the odds of taking on five people in open combat with just herself and Kayla to oppose them.
And so, they continued to climb the mountain. Pale shivered the entire time, the frigid air cutting her to the bone even through her thermals. The temperature had fallen in the hours since they'd set up in the cave, and now even her high-tech clothing wouldn't be enough to save them forever.
Eventually, however, they reached a flat point in the side of the mountain where they could rest. Pale helped Kayla up the edge, and the two of them laid there, panting from exertion. Despite the cold, Pale wiped sweat from her brow, hefting her weapon to her shoulder once more as she peered over the sheer expanse. Through the snow and the darkness, she was just able to make out a few faint shapes milling about.
"Is it safe down there?" Kayla whispered through chattering teeth.
Pale shook her head. "Doesn't seem like it. Hopefully, they won't find the cave – if they do, they're going to keep looking for us. Our only hope is that they'll get cold and call off the search before then."
"Unlikely…" Kayla muttered. "Berserkers like that come from the far north. They're used to cold like this, if not worse. If anything makes them leave, it won't be the weather."
Pale couldn't help but scowl. She looked over the cliff face once more, then shook her head.
"Then I guess we have a choice to make."
"Which is…?"
"We sit here and hope that they don't find anything and leave before we freeze to death, or we throw caution to the wind and take the fight directly to them in order to reclaim our impromptu shelter."
Kayla paled at that. "...I don't like either option."
"Neither do I. The weather is a problem no matter which one we take – either it kills us outright or it affects us to the point where our combat effectiveness starts to drop like a stone. In any case, we're going to need to make a decision fast."
"You're the soldier. What do you think we should do?"
Pale was about to respond, but was cut off by a sudden flurry of excited shouts and movement from down below. She cast another glance down at the cave, and listened in to what the bandits were saying as best as she could. Most of their speech was drowned out by distance and wind, but it soon became irrelevant, as one of the bandits held up the remnants of two military rations, then pointed up towards the mountain. As Pale watched, the rest of the bandits – all five of them – began to climb up towards them. Her expression narrowed as she watched the berserkers steadily claw their way up the rocks, steadily inching closer with every passing moment.
"Looks like they made my decision for me," she announced, hefting her weapon.
"Ah…! What are we doing?!" Kayla asked in a hushed voice.
Pale leaned over the side of the cliff, centering her shotgun's sights on the head of the nearest bandit. He was about thirty meters away; at this distance, she couldn't miss.
"Pick a target," she said without looking back. "Wait for my command before conjuring anything."
Kayla let out a small whimper at what she was about to do, but didn't offer any argument, instead stacking up alongside Pale. She took a breath to calm herself, then raised a hand, but held back on conjuring any magic, instead merely keeping it outstretched. Pale watched as the bandit she'd aimed at drew closer, until finally, it happened – he locked eyes with her, and his expression tightened into one of surprise. He opened his mouth to yell something to his comrades.
A shell full of buckshot silenced him before he got the chance. In that moment, Kayla opened up with a spell, sending a streak of lightning arcing across the mountain and into the chest of the nearest berserker. The man convulsed as electricity danced across his body, but then limply fell backwards, his body blackened and smoking.
For a split-second, there was silence, punctuated only by the sound of Pale racking her shotgun. She went to take aim at the next target, but a large bolt of lightning came soaring towards her from farther down the mountain. A small, surprised gasp escaped from her as she fell back, the lightning missing her by mere millimeters, passing close by enough that it made the hair on her head stand up. The spell discharged into the rock above, sending bits of stone and dirt raining down on the two of them and littering them with small cuts and bruises, but otherwise leaving them unhurt.
"Kayla, you take that side!" Pale shouted as she approached the edge of the stone. "Keep yourself safe!"
"W-what?!" Kayla called back. "What are you doing?!"
"Getting you some breathing room!" Pale said to her as she swung herself over the edge, then began to roll down the side of the snow-covered mountain. Bits of jagged rock tore at her body as she fell, but she paid it no mind. Back behind her, she heard claps of thunder echo through the mountains, a sign that Kayla was still fighting.
That wouldn't matter if Pale didn't take care of the berserker mage, however.
As that thought passed her mind, another bolt of electricity came arcing from their cave, up towards Kayla. Pale came to a stop not far away, then jumped to her feet with her weapon at the ready, a pang of pure rage barely suppressed in her mind as she surged forwards.
There were no other berserkers on this part of the mountain, at least that she could see, which had to mean that the mage was alone. Pale sprinted for the cave, double-timing it in order to get there before something could happen to Kayla. More lightning flew through the night, marking the mage's spot, and before long, she closed in on him.
Just as she got there, however, a wall of fire erupted between herself and him. She stumbled, barely managing to catch herself before running directly into the flames. Through the smoke and crimson blaze, she was able to make out a man dressed in a combination of berserker furs and a tattered gray cloak, grinning a yellowed-toothed grin at her through a shaggy salt-and-pepper beard. He went to say something, but Pale stopped him with a barrage of shotgun pellets slam-fired from her weapon as fast as she could operate the pump. To her dismay, however, a barrier of some kind sprang up between the two of them, shielding the mage from any harm.
Her shotgun clicked empty, and Pale let it dangle from her sling, instead pulling out her .45. She went to take aim at the mage, but was unprepared for him to suddenly surge forwards, a manic shout escaping him as he passed through his own flames, completely uncaring of how they lapped at him as he sprinted by. Her eyes widened in shock as she was forced backwards, her pistol barking as fast as she could pull the trigger, but to no avail – that same barrier from earlier prevented any of her shots from landing, the bullets harmlessly bouncing off onto the ground below for every round fired.
Finally, the slide locked back on her handgun, and Pale was forced to try and reload. The mage kept coming, however, even as she scrambled backwards over snow and rocks. Eventually, though, she made a mistake, tripping over a large rock and falling backwards, her handgun slipping from her grip and sliding several yards away. She made a vain attempt to fumble for it, but the mage got their first. With strength unexpected from a man his age, he wrapped one hand around her throat and hoisted her into the air, holding her face-to-face with him. Pale gasped for breath, her legs flailing uselessly as the life was choked out of her. The berserker's manic grin widened, and he tightened his one-handed grip, then brought his off-hand around, sparks already dancing across his fingertips.
Out of desperation, Pale yanked the combat knife from her belt and flailed wildly with it, hoping only to free herself. Her desperate plan worked; the man let out a loud, pained shout as a deep gash was opened in his arm, and his grip loosened just enough for Pale to shake herself free. She landed in a heap on the ground, then jumped to her feet just in time for the mage to shake off his wound. She had cut a deep gouge in the side of his arm, deep enough to expose the white of his bone to the elements, but from the sight of things, all that had really done was anger him even more. In that moment, she realized something.
That barrier, whatever it was, must have been designed to withstand projectile attacks from a distance rather than a direct close-range strike.
She didn't get much time to focus on this new discovery, however – he glared at her, gritting his teeth as the blood dripped from his arm onto the snow below; Pale, for her part, held his gaze, and dropped into a combat stance as she switched her hold on the blade to a reverse grip. The two of them began to circle each other, each waiting for the other combatant to move, both of them eyeing their opponent up and down the entire time.
Pale saw the signs of an incoming attack before it even arrived – the subtle tensing of his leg muscles gave it away before he even knew what he was doing. When he surged forwards, his hands engulfed in fire, she was ready; she sidestepped the incoming attack, then lashed out with her blade once more, scoring another deep slash through the man's arm, this time in the underside. He let out a grunt as he reeled back from the hit, his arm now dangling uselessly in front of him. Idly, Pale realized she must have just severed its tendon, preventing him from using it any further.
She didn't get a chance to dwell on this fact for long, as the mage raised his other arm and launched a bolt of lightning at her, forcing her to jump behind a nearby rock to avoid being electrocuted. She didn't stay there for long, though – he launched several more consecutive bolts of lightning towards her impromptu cover, trying to flush her out as he closed in on one side. Pale didn't take the bait, though – she rushed the side he was pushing just in time to shove the blade forwards, and for her efforts, she was rewarded with a dull thunk as steel met flush. The mage immediately froze, looking down at the knife as it jutted out of his stomach, blood blossoming out from around it and steadily staining his clothes a deep crimson. He gave a shuddering gasp, then fell to his knees, Pale merely yanked the knife out from his gut, and was about to slam the blade into his carotid artery to finish him off when someone grabbed her from behind, stopping her. Pale's heart skipped a beat, and she very nearly rounded on whoever it was before Kayla's voice met her ears.
"Don't. There's been enough death for now."
Pale paused, then chanced a look back. Kayla was standing there, her eyes wide and dull as she shivered, her outfit covered in dirt and blood, none of it her own. She pulled her hand off Pale's, bringing it around to huddle herself. Pale stared at her for a moment, then looked back up at the cliff's edge where she'd been left.
Several bodies, charred beyond the point of recognition and still smoking, marked a trail up to Kayla's side.
Reluctantly, Pale pursed her lips, then nodded, sheathing her knife. "...Fine. But if we're keeping him alive, then I'm going to find out what he knows before we turn him loose. I think it's time we got some answers from someone."
Kayla's only response was to wordlessly nod.

Special thanks to my good friend and co-writer, Ickbard for the help with writing this story.

^{you always were special
always special to me
all of you
every
last
one
of
you}
[First Contact] [Dark Ages] [First] [Prev] [Next] [wiki]
Sacajawea leaned back, staring at the hologram in the middle of the table.
"I fled the Glassing. I asked Luke to rebirth my people, help me get the colony ships working, then ran for it," she said. "Twelve ships lifted off, escorted by light attack and defense craft," she closed her eyes. "Only four made it. The Mantid boarded two of the ships," she swallowed thickly. "I could hear them scream as the Mantid killed them."
Legion squeezed her hand gently.
N'Skrek could see the pain in her features.
For her, it may be thousands of years ago, but it still brings pain, he thought to himself. For me, for all of us at this table, this is an event tens of thousands of years ago. Barely remembered history.
"We stayed in jumpspace for months, years, pushing at the upper bands," she shook her head. "We eventually hit the point where the ships were pushed back down by the pressure."
N'Skrek nodded. The upper jumpspace bands required specialized engines and jumpcores.
"We used cryogenics to make the trips," she said. "We would exit jumpspace, refuel at a far orbit gas giant that was not frozen, then jump again," she shook her head. "All I could think of was to run as far and as fast as I could, and bring my people with me."
She began drawing lines.
"Hundreds of years passed while we slept, a dreamless sleep," Sacajawea said. "We ran until the ships could run no more. Two of them failed exiting jumpspace, but we were lucky. By that time I understood that each jump could be our last, so I ensured that we headed toward stellar systems that had a high probability of a planet we could survive on."
She shook her head.
"I never entered cryo-sleep. I stayed awake, guiding our path," she inhaled sharply and exhaled slowly. "I could feel our path. I knew which way to go."
Luke held up one finger, getting everyone's attention.
"The Digital Omnimessiah, he changed us with his touch. Each of us with our own part to play to save humanity," he said. He glanced at Sacajawea. "She can see, feel probabilities and adjust to a shifting situation with nearly precognizant accuracy."
Sacajawea rolled her eyes and sniffed, pursing her lips. "You make it sound so pedestrian."
Luke just smiled.
"For hundreds of years I stood on the bridge of a damaged colony ship, my pointing finger our only guide," she said.
N'Skrek noted that her voice had fallen into a sing-song cadence.
"Finally I saw the six suns, arranged in the shape of an eagle," she said. "I knew, at that moment, that this would be as far as we could go. Our ships were failing, but they could make this last leg of our journey. I chose the best one for my people. It was nearly paradise, just needing a little bit of tweaking. No life higher than plant life and simple insects, perfect to live away from hatred, war, and slaughter."
She looked down.
"I led them to their doom," she said softly. "We had to rely on high technology at first. Terraformers, the gene banks that Luke had acquired, orbital lift capacity."
She shook her head. "Little did we know that the technology would attract what you call the Mar-gite."
N'Skrek shook his head. "No. You were just in the way," he said.
She looked startled.
"If the planet had carbon based life or an oxygen heavy atmosphere, they would have devoured it," N'Skrek said. He shrugged. "It's what they do. Before recently, we thought they were some kind of locust that just denuded planets and moved on."
"Now we know that they're a weapon, being driven in front of another species," Admiral Breakheader said.
She blinked several times, then turned to Luke.
"True story," Luke shrugged.
Sacajawea was silent for a long moment, then she shivered and touched the hologram again.
"I guided my people along the True Path, the one that promised the most happiness and most reward," she said. She glanced at Luke. "Those who wished to embrace more technology had their own spaces, although I did not dwell with them."
She looked down at where Luke was still holding her hand.
"For thousands of years, six thousand of our years," she said. "Then the Outsiders came."
"How long Confederate Standard?" Admiral Breakheader asked, rubbing his chin.
N'Skrek could hear the rustle of bristles from the Vice-Admiral's five-o-clock shadow.
Sacajawea closed her eyes. "Almost six thousand to the day."
Breakheader nodded, making a note.
"At first, they just appeared in out of the way locations. Someone would see them and they'd flee, move away, and eventually they started to show up more and more near the technological enclaves," Sacajawea shook her head. "It was the technology that they were attracted to."
N'Skrek just nodded.
"Then came the attacks. Our superluminal communication links went first, but not before we learned that we were being attacked on all six worlds simultaneously. We held them off for years, protecting ourselves. No matter what path I looked at, I could see no path that had a statistically viable path to victory, I could only minimize their victories," she closed her eyes. "They began capturing my people, abducting whole villages."
"Then came the Devouring Ones," she said. "Two years later, and we were gone."
Breakheader nodded.
"Initial scouting, followed by an assault, then research, then finished with an extermination attack," he said. He looked up. "Standard xenocide tactics."
Sacajawea looked way.
"He's right," Luke said. She looked at him, surprised. "You put up too stiff of a fight so they brought in their heavy hitters after getting a good look at how we worked."
There was silence for a moment, then Commander Hentrill looked up from her datapad. "How did you die?" she asked.
"What difference does it make?" Sacajawea asked.
Hentrill looked unfazed by the glare that Sacajawea aimed down her nose at her. "It makes a lot of difference, Ma'am," she said cooly.
N'Skrek could feel that Hentrill had developed a dislike for the Immortal over the course of the conversation.
"When they came for me, when I was the last, I stepped from the cliff and fell to the rocks below, where the waves washed against the shore. By the time they reached me, I had died from my injuries," Sacajawea said. "I sang as I fell so that..."
"Suicide. They gathered your lifeless corpse," Hentrill said. She narrowed her eyes. "You have a standard datalink for the Glassing Era. Did you have one when you fell?"
Sacajawea nodded. "It was on piece of technology that I felt was necessary to embrace," she said.
"So, you killed yourself and the enemy obtained your datalink and your brain," Hentrill said. "What about your leaders? You did have military leaders, yes?"
Sacajawea glanced at Luke, who nodded. "Yes. I convinced Luke to bring back great leaders of my people and I nurtured their spirits as I raised them during the trip."
"Did they have datalinks?" Hentrill asked.
Sacajawea nodded. "Yes. I had been told, repeatedly, that effective communication was vital to winning a war."
"Daxin," Luke interjected.
Sacajawea sniffed. "Yes."
Hentrill made a note. "Were your leaders targeted early in the conflict?" she asked.
"Of course," Sacajawea said. "Many were killed, but the technology we had allowed them to return within days, only missing a few days of their previous life. Luke had convinced Peter to ensure we had a version of the SUDS, which we only used for critically important people."
N'Skrek saw a muscle twitch next to Luke's eye, but he stayed smiling.
"But it was destroyed before the Devourers came," Sacajawea said. "It could not be helped. There was almost no path I could take that would prevent it from being destroyed, so I chose the path that would result in the least casualties for my people."
N'Skrek was not that familiar with Terrans, but he could tell that Commander Hentrill was rubbed the wrong way by that statement.
"I think we should take a break," N'Skrek said. He nodded toward Luke. "I am sure both of you are fatigued from being brought back from the dead."
"Yes," Sacajawea said before Luke could do much more than open his mouth. "I would prefer to have privacy to rest and perform necessary rites."
N'Skrek just nodded. "I'll be sure you get privacy."
0-0-0-0-0
Legion stood next to the tank, one hand on the heavily armored skirt, staring at the black metal the tank was made from.
"Warsteel Mark-IV," he whispered to himself. He shook his head. "We are old friends, you and I," he said softly, running one hand across the metal. "Later superseded by arcanochromium for the Mark-V."
He didn't care if anyone heard him talking to the tank. There was just a single Telkan in the vehicle bay, running diagnostic checks on one of the big Telkan armored transports used for power armor troops.
^{your name is luke}
He shook his head, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose. He kept hearing slight buzzing whispers.
He felt her before he could see her. Felt her leave the lift, the warsteel doors pulling open and letting her presence roll out to fill the vehicle bay.
He heard her shoes clicking and closed his eyes, sighing.
It's not her. Not the one you knew. It's Tiffany, not Sacajawea, he thought to himself.
^{your name is luke}
He looked up just in time to see a green mantid wave shyly at him.
He smiled at it and waved back just as Sacajawea stopped next to him.
"A green mantid?" she said, her voice slightly fearful.
"Engineer caste," Luke said. "They like me."
"They are Mantid," Sacajawea said, her voice cold and hard.
"The war was thousands of years ago, and even if it wasn't, he is blameless in it," Luke said.
"But it is a Mantid," Sacajawea said. She watched coldly as the little green mantid waved and rushed away.
"I have more in common with him than I do with the majority of humanity," Luke said softly.
Sacajawea scoffed. "Surely not."
Luke nodded. "His kind was trapped inside their own minds. Capable of thought, artistic expression, fear, love, affection, all of it," he ran one finger along the armored track skirt of the tank, a fat purple spark jumping from between his finger and the black armor. "The whole war, until the Mechakrautlanders killed that Overqueen, they were inside their own little heads, screaming endlessly."
He ran his finger again, watching another spark jump out.
"When green mantids cluster up, their intelligence increases. Not by leaps and bounds, just slightly, but the bigger part is, they could feel the ones around them screaming but were unable to reach out and touch them," he said. He was silent a moment. "I understand them, they understand me. Both of us, bred and created to merely serve, without any thought as to our souls."
He turned arounds, looking at Sacajawea.
"They are among the Digital Omnimessiah's most fervent believers, and one of humanity's staunchest allies," he said. He motioned at the tanks around them. "You have been gone a long time, little sister."
"And you, did you live through the forty-thousand years? What did you do?" Sacajawea asked.
Luke shook his head. "I retreated. After the War in Heaven and in Hell, after the Flashbang, I retreated," he said. "I spent most of my time at Atlantis, which led to me being more or less imprisoned, away from the galaxy."
He flashed a smile.
"At least I had the Detainee for company. She's an interesting conversationalist."
Sacajawea just sniffed, looking around. "What is that?" she asked, pointing at the lone Telkan, who had just straightened up from the tracks and was wiping his hands off with a rag.
"A Telkan. An full member species of the Confederacy, an ally to humanity, who took part in the War in Heaven," Luke said. He waved at the Telkan, who waved back, and went back to inspecting the vehicle.
"It looks like a fox," Sacajawea said.
Luke cut her off with a motion of his hand. "I swear to God, you start talking to me about how they obviously embody the trickster spirit of the fox and thus are untrustworthy I'll put you right back where I found you," he said sharply.
Sacajawea pursed her lips in irritation.
"You have to let go. Let go of your preconceived notions. Let go of all the old hurts. It's been eight-thousand years for you and forty-thousand for the universe," Luke said softly, turning back to running his hand over the armor on the tank. "Even Daxin could see that."
Sacajawea snorted. "Like Daxin ever saw anything that wasn't in the sights of his guns."
Luke turned around, his jaw clenched. "You don't speak bad about him in my presence again," he snapped, drawing himself up to full height. "Not now, not ever again," he leaned forward slightly. "You weren't here. You left us, the Digital Omnimessiah was dead, and we were all bereft," sparks jumped out from under his boots and under the palm that rested on the tank's armor. "True, I spent over a thousand years running from him, but he was still my brother. It hurt more than anything not to be at his side when he died."
Sacajawea looked around at the tanks and armored vehicles. "He fell on some battlefield," she said. It was less a question and more a statement.
Luke shook his head. "No. He died, in his sleep, surrounded by his family. His children, grand-children, and great-grand children. He was finally at peace," he sighed. "When he arrived in Afterlife, he waited patiently for his wife and even though I wanted to spend time with him," he sighed again. "It was time to let the Walking War Crime rest."
Luke turned and faced Sacajawea. "In your mind, we are still the same as we were," he said gently. He reached out and took her hand in his. "But that is no longer true. We grew, we set aside old differences, we set aside old hatreds, and we moved forward rather than holding tight to the past."
She sniffed, looking away, but not pulling her hand away. "I have seen the history. A history of lies that glosses over the crimes and bloodshed."
"Temporal warfare counter-measures," Luke said. "After The Glassing, history and culture was lost. It was rebuilt from oral tales and fragmented records."
"Lies," she said again.
"Weaponized," Luke said. He pulled his hand free, jamming both hands into his pockets. "It's protected Terra, protected everyone, even your people, more than once. When the Atrekna came, that was probably the only thing that saved our people," he stared at her. "Saved humanity."
"So they don't care about the truth?" she asked.
"What truth? That thousands of years ago an aggressive Mantid hive wrecked up Earth? Nobody cares any more," he said. "That's the thing about them. They aren't like us. We can easily remember the Glassing. For them, it's a few paragraphs in a history book they read in school. Maybe some scholars look at that era," he looked up at the lights. "For the majority of humanity, the Glassing is as far and remote as the light of the stars in the sky," he looked back down. "And that's a good thing."
"I do not understand you," Sacajawea said.
^{she never did
not like i do
luke}
"You never did," Luke said. "You never did. She eventually understood me."
^{that's right
i understand you}
"You cloned me without my consent," she accused. She crossed her arms. "I await your justifications."
Luke just smiled. "I did. I cloned you without your consent. I told your clone that it was a clone," he looked up. "Then the Imperium caught us, turned us into the Immortals. Used her as a seer to determine how to reach victory, but she held information back and Daxin, at the head of the Martial Orders of Terra, broke the Imperium over his knee."
He looked back down. "Afterwards, she worked tirelessly on the Terra Restoration Project. While I was busy running, she returned to Terra, sought out the survivors of her people, and helped them restore their lands and way of life."
Sacajawea looked away. "As did I."
Luke chuckled. "She used temporal lensing to look back into the past, see the reality of the old ways, watch the rituals and daily life of the ancestors, and restored them."
"Yet, the history books are full of lies," Sacajawea sniffed.
"After the Second Temporal War, she understood and embraced the counter-warfare protocols. She helped interweave your people into the tales," Luke said. "Was it all lies? Partly. Like the best ones, it had good heaping helping of truth hidden inside the metaphors and personifications of events."
"And where is she now?" Sacajawea asked, watching the Telkan inspect the running gears of the armored vehicle.
"She led the Sky Nebula Alignment fleet. She led our peoples, all our peoples, to someplace where our enemies would not find us," Luke said. He turned and ran his hand over the armor again. "I stayed behind. I never lost faith that the Digital Omnimessiah would return."
He lifted his palm and made small figure eights on the armor with his fingertips.
"I loved her, so I let her go," he said softly. "She had seen it was the only way our people would survive a coming darkness."
He looked at Sacajawea. "She was right."
Sacajawea looked at where Luke was making small figure eights with his fingers on the armor. "There is no good path for me to take. All of them are risky, most of them I will perish," she said. She reached out and took his hand. "My best chances for survival is to flee," she lifted his hand and grasped it with both of hers.
"Come with me. Let us leave. You can take us elsewhere, where we have a chance of survival," she tilted her head to encompass the vehicle bay. "Too many of these paths lead to both our deaths. There are too few that lead to a place where we both survive."
Luke delicately removed his hand from hers, using one hand to lift her fingers from her grip on his hand one by one.
"No."
Sacajawea frowned. "No? Together, we can go somewhere else where we have a better chance to stand up to whatever comes and have a possibility of triumphing at a later date," she waved at the armored vehicles. "This way, the way that Treana'ad commander is taking us, is rife with nothing but death and destruction."
Luke stared at her for a long moment.
"You never understood," he said softly. "Your desire, your drive, to save your people, and yourself, blind you to the things that must be done," he put one hand on the tank again. "That sometimes the only path forward to success is the one fraught with the most danger, hardship, and suffering."
He turned away and started walking deeper into the vehicle bay.
"She understood," he said softly.
"I am not her," Sacajawea said.
"Obviously."
Sacajawea just sniffed and turned away, leaving the bay.
^{your name is luke}
By the tank, Jaskel wondered why the hell they'd chosen that particular bay for their little spat.
He looked at 8814, who was still practially hopping from foot to foot with happiness.
"I'm glad you got to meet him," Jaskel said honestly.
--yes ┏(＾0＾)┛┗(＾0＾) ┓ yes--
0-0-0-0-0
Dhruv sat in the shadowy room, wearing a pair of exercise shorts, waiting.
Finally, he could smell cigarette smoke and a presence filled the room.
"What?" a voice asked from the shadows. The end of a cigarette brightened as a drag was taken off of it, briefly illuminating gun-metal gray eyes and severe cheekbones.
"I want a favor," Dhruv said.
He could feel the smile even if he couldn't see it.
"People in my care want ice water," the woman's voice commanded.
"I want you to look up SUDS records for me. I need you to process some of them so I can either talk to them or see their last moments," Luke said. He looked away from the glow of the cigarette. "Records from a long time ago."
"If I decide to do this, I'll need specifics," the woman said, exhaling smoke that curled into the figure of a man on his knees, face in his hand, sobbing.
"I'll provide them. They should be easy to find via their x, y, z, q coordinates," Luke said.
"Now for the big question," the woman said, chuckling.
"What?" Luke asked.
"Why should I help you?" the woman asked.
"Because I'm willing to make a deal with the Devil," Legion said.
This time he could see the glint of teeth in the smile.
^{your name is legion}
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I break for turtles, I will lay my body in the road to block traffic for ducklings! I heard wandering goat or cattle back into the fence line.
I coddle Lost kittens, abandoned puppies, pick up strays and get them good homes. I have no problem, giving an animal away to a good life!!
I have failed to find the owner of animals before and by default they stayed with me for years until they found homes. I own 2 Aussies that view anything that is not mom, sister, or dad as Food. I have babysat many animals. I tolerate cats, show them compassion but do not particularly enjoy them.
Until this day, I have never had regret. Today, I took a cat that has been meandering along at my side for two days in the garden~ back to the home that it was lost from.
He absolutely cannot stay with me, my husband will get blisters all over his skin if he's anywhere near a cat. My daughter's face swells up like a blimp around Cats. In this moment, I am so sad and heartbroken and lonesome, for this cat particularly. I don't want to do anything for the rest of the week. I want to sit on the couch and cry. I am Mourning? For THIS CAT? I do not want a cat or a litter box or to smell cat food! I did not name the cat, Not even a temporary label to make him easier to reference. I did not sleep near the cat~ I ....I .do not understand this emotional response and would like to request deletion protocol instructions..... Right Meow Please.

i texted him after he ghosted me. Only cuz i felt that we meant more to each other. He meant more to me than I did to him and honestly, thats alright. It’s okay to feel deeply, its never embarrassing because it’s a reflection of how much u are able to care. Anyways, I texted and he didn’t reply. I took accountability, said I missed him and wanted to see him again one last time. No reply. it’s cool. Thats the clarity I wanted and it’s clarity i got. Now I can have the good long awaited cry to finally let go of this. I got him a gift I know he’d love. now it just sits in the corner of my bedroom, watching me stare with hope that I’d be able to give it to him soon.
I know everyone says not to text them after the first time but, if you feel like u need to, do it! Sometimes the second time is all we need to finally understand whats happened and finally come to terms that, stories end. I still feel like im never going to feel the same way I did with him, when another person runs their fingers on the sides of my hips. Or the way he looks at me right before we kiss. But thats simply not true. And I’ll finally accept it 2 or 3 months from now. But right now imma feel through the pain, and let my body TRY to recreate those sensations even though it will never feel the same way. Until one day I wake up like “what the hell am i doing?”
This song had helped so far and I hope It helps one of you as well. And remember, its them not you x

Here's a quick story about my biggest SAAS success to date.
I was working as a software engineer at Expedia. On the side, I was running cold email outreach for a few saas companies.
One of the most time-consuming aspects of doing cold email was writing the email sequences. Especially to do proper A/B testing with 2-4 variations of each email. I ended up shortcutting this with chatgpt. However, vanilla gpt sucks at writing emails, so I slowly put together a prompt I'd use. Along with the prompt, I'd input the company's product, the pain point of the buyer, and any metrics or case studies I had.
The result was pretty good. It got me about 75% of the way there. It saved a ton of time.
I have built a few gpt wrappers before, and it's honestly a lot harder than it sounds. Getting quality results that are accurate can be difficult. But, I was already using gpt to write these emails, so I thought I might as well at least build the tool for myself.
My initial repository commit was on April 20th.
I used it myself, and it was awesome.
I hosted it completely for free for anyone to use. I tracked IP addresses of users to see how many people tried it.
Stats:

• Over 300 people tried it by marketing on X and reddit
• 21 people generated 6 or more emails
• 16 people came back on a later date to use the product again

This was enough validation for me to at least give it a real shot.
I finished up adding sign ups and payments on May 4th.
I launched on product hunt... and TADA! Crickets. A few more sign ups but no paid users.
Once I implemented sign ups, I allowed everyone to start with 5 generations for free. People loved it, but I noticed multiple people would abuse the system, creating multiple accounts for themself to get more free credits and avoid paying.
So I made the scary decision to completely remove the free plan 2 days ago.
And in the last 24 hours?
I got my first 4 subscribers.
I'm not rich by any means, but man it feels good when things finally start to work out.
I know it's kind of lame giving advice to others when I'm sitting here at $36 MRR, but at one point I would look up to me now, so here's my advice.

1. Learn from every failure, take a break to gather yourself, and try again with your new knowledge. This is my 5th saas product I've built, and I'm excited about $36 MRR... it's not an easy road. But every failure contains learnings.
2. Start with the distribution. If you have a killer idea, first think about who will purchase it and how you will reach those people. Please have a plan before writing any code. For me, it was cold email. I can easily target thousands of business development reps who send cold emails every day and could benefit from my tool.
3. Be patient. It sucks but you simply have to be patient. Even if you are doing everything right, it will take time for you to build a trustworthy landing page. Don't try a marketing channel for a day and give up. I'd give each one at least a week, maybe a month before assuming it doesn't work.

Hope this helps some of you who are just getting started. I'm always excited to talk about building saas projects, feel free to dm or follow me on X.

Ever wonder why Joseph & his friends had to sit in Liberty Jail for MONTHS during the winter when they hadn't been convicted of a crime?
Turns out in the 1800s, most courts only operated twice per year. So when Joseph was arrested in November, he was stuck in a jail and had no trial, no hearings, no options, until court was back in session in the following spring.
And remember, this incarceration kicked off the "Extermination Order" of Governor Boggs, which sought to exterminate or expel all Mormons from the state of Missouri. So while Joseph and other leaders are in jail they are getting reports of intense suffering endured by the saints. Beatings, rape, murder, robbery, and the worst kinds of abuse. All with no options. No rights. Just the power of the governor keeping you locked in a tiny cell because the courts can't be bothered to deal with you right now.
Man, oh man, Governor Boggs hated the Mormons. Especially Joseph Smith.
Finally, in April, Just before a trial would have to begin, Joseph was allowed to escape. Almost as if they knew they had nothing that would stick, but they could inflict 6 months of unjust imprisonment on them.
But Boggs didn't like that. He was more of a "kick out all the Mormons, but also throw them all in jail" kind of guy. He demanded Illinois arrest and extradite Joseph and others to be jailed again and face more charges. Luckily, a court found that the warrant was deficient. The saints managed to settle in Nauvoo, and Boggs was soon done as governor of Missouri.
But then someone tried to kill Boggs.
Neighbors identified somebody named Tompkins, but opponents of the church quickly asserted it must have been a Mormon, trying to get revenge.
With hostile forces gathering, Saints figured that Boggs would soon try to arrest Latter-day Saints again - even though they were now in Illinois. How to defend yourself from the power of a corrupt former governor, or illegal orders from your own governor? The saints came up with a novel idea. They created a city ordinance that allowed the municipal court to essentially examine any extradition requests, whether federal, state, or city based, under the common law of Habeas Corpus
Around that time, John C. Bennett sent letters to newspapers claiming Joseph Smith hired Orrin Porter Rockwell to assassinate Boggs.
Now with a story he could use, Boggs went to a justice of the peace to swear an affidavit that Rockwell was the shooter, and that Joseph Smith was an accessory to the attempted murder, citing "evidence and information" in his possession. (But not saying what that evidence or information was.) He used this affidavit to convince the new Missouri governor, Thomas Reynolds, to initiate the extradition process to try and bring Joseph back to the state where people were so hostile to Mormons that the jails would only release Mormon prisoners in the middle of the night due to attacks by mobs.
Receiving the demand from Missouri, Illinois governor Thomas Carlin went ahead and issued warrants without any pushback, and JS and Rockwell were arrested in Nauvoo. The two prisoners exercised their right for habeas corpus under the Nauvoo ordinance.
That stalled the arrest long enough for Joseph to enact a backup plan and reach out to the county court for the writ of habeas corpus, which was also granted.
Well now we have a pickle. We have two governors, three states (Iowa later got involved), a city marshal, a municipal court, a county court, a county constable, a sheriff, an agent of the Missouri government all barking at each other about who has authority, who can arrest who, and the rights of the accused never really given fair consideration. Looking to skip over annoying questions of law and jurisdiction, rewards were offered by the governors of Missouri and Illinois for the capture of JS and Rockwell. Mobs arrived in Nauvoo to hunt them down. For months this went on, with Joseph being shifted around from home to home to try and avoid the people who would forcibly take him to Missouri despite the writ of habeas corpus, and no higher power willing to actually look at the legality of the extradition order, or the right of Nauvoo to intercede. Things were bleak. It was like the worst days of Missouri had come again.
Really, Joseph had 2 options: submit to arrest and jail in Missouri (he knew what that was like, and rightly feared the abuses he would certainly suffer again there), or else hide until some court or government outside of mob control finally paid attention. I don't blame him one bit for choosing to hide!
A few months pass and in 1842, a former Illinois state supreme court justice was elected governor of Illinois, and the saints thought maybe they had an opening to get justice. A delegation was sent to speak with him and the US Attorney for the district of Illinois. When the US Attorney heard the details he immediately said the extradition order was illegal and requested Joseph come to Springfield to be heard before the U.S. district court - a court with Federal authority.
But how do you get Joseph to Springfield without one of these mobs or lawmen jumping him and dragging him to Missouri for that cash reward? You get the Nauvoo Legion to arrest him and escort the prisoner themselves. :D
On arriving in Springfield, hostile county officials at first refused to provide a copy of the warrant, knowing it was going to be challenged. So the Governor's office provided one and submitted the case to the district court.
Crazy arguments were made on both sides, with people arguing about jurisdiction, residency, and the facts of the alleged crime itself. Stuff that doesn't really happen today, but was common back then.
The Judge said, in essence, "Since extradition is between two states, it MUST be a federal issue and therefore heard by a federal court. (Sorry Nauvoo.) And furthermore, A governor can't just demand another state arrest somebody and send them over. The alleged criminal has to have committed a crime in that state, then ran away to another state. Joseph Smith didn't do that, so too bad, Missouri."
This ruling helped establish precedent in American extradition law, making it clear that you can't just demand somebody be extradited, even if you're a governor.
https://www.josephsmithpapers.org/paper-summary/introduction-to-extradition-of-js-for-accessory-to-assault/1#11046207362051668990
https://rsc.byu.edu/vol-16-no-1-2015/they-pursue-me-without-cause-joseph-smith-hiding-dc-127-128
https://byustudies.byu.edu/article/habeas-corpus-in-early-nineteenth-century-mormonism-joseph-smiths-legal-bulwark-for-personal-freedom/
Bennett and the state of Missouri would try one more time, and fail again, to extradite Joseph Smith. After which the state of Illinois would be the next source of charges against Joseph, including the charges that led to Carthage Jail.

I 27m broke up with my gf of 7 years at the start of 2024 no hard feelings or anything, ever since tho I have been watch gay adult content which has been weird as I before hand never had a thought about anything of that stuff. I started to question it in my work one day as I seen this obviously gay guy with a huge ass. He came up to me and should interest but I said “nah I’m straight” I thought about it more after and I thought, I got turned on by the thought of me fucking him but, got grossed or at the thought of him doing that or kissing me.
I have no idea what is going on but i am sure it turns me on because it’s like the thought of fucking a guy with a fat ass is almost like conquering him and the thought of like it’s wrong to want to fuck a guy that is feminine with an ass is a huge turn on, but a massive turn off if I think of kissing or me being the one that is fucked. Getting head as well but with my eyes closed is hot, usually the content the guys ass has to be shaved as well or I can’t watch. I’m just so confused at this point, cause I could definitely do it, as I find it so incredible hot if it’s a guy that has feminine attributes, but couldn’t see myself doing any of that other stuff at all as the thought of that makes me feel sick. What would this be called and has anyone experienced this?
I’m just so confused as I still find women hot and would go for them more but if given the opportunity I would fuck a feminine guy if they had a nice ass every now and then.
Update: Gave the guy I saw at work this new Reddit I have and he said that him and some of his friends wanted me to rate their asses😂 as they wanted my opinion, which is a massive turn on because I’ve not done anything with a guy and they are random strangers, that are gonna be sending me that soon😂 think they are turned on by the fact that It would be my first time fuckin a guy and I can tell they want it to be one of them. I was in the toilet at the urinal about to take my break and the original guy came in walked up to the side of me and he said “hey you know me and my friend are competing with each other right”
I responded “for what”
He leavened in and said “for your seed, we all want to be the first guy you fill up”
I instantly got hard which he noticed as the pee started hitting the urinal with more force. He looked down grabbing my cock which at this point was throbbing like mad, kept talking and started to give it a few tugs each gettin faster and faster while saying “we will send the photos and you’ll enjoy them but just remember this moment when u see me in the phone with my head down arched back and gaping hole lookin right at u, that this (reference my cock) will be mine and u will empty everything u have in these balls into that tight little hole” He at this point tugged my cock hard and has he then led me by dick into the cubical push me on the seat of the toilet dropped to his knee and start sucking my cock better than my exes did in the past, i inched deeper and deeper into his tight little throat with every Bob of his head and I couldn’t take it anymore I taped his head to pull out but he instead he went balls deep which I didn’t expect as my eyes we’re looking at the ceiling the entire time as the head was unbelievable good, it was the first time that it had happened to me before and I shot the biggest load ever down his tight little throat . He turned around and walked out telling me to look at his ass as the next time I see it will be in those naked photos.
Kinda sounds too good to be true but I ain’t complaining. Can’t wait to receive them photos from a bunch of randoms that I don’t even know. I’ve seen the friends and they are all really feminine and a 3 of them have got a wagon on them the others ain’t as much but still nice. Can’t wait so see the experience how different a guy takes it to the women I’ve been with, cause they three guys alone have bigger asses than 90% of the girls I’ve been with, and I’ve heard the head gay guys give is better-✅the toilet experience ticked that off as true), I am exited to see what happens in the next few weeks. And can’t wait to see how the photos turn out.
The thought of a guy setting up a camera behind over and take a photo to my approval as to if I would empty my seed balls deep inside of them is an amazing,and that I hope it doesn’t end with them. As it is such a turn on to receive booty pics especially from guys with nice big bubble butts like them to get my thoughts or have them told how I want them to take a photo for my pleasure 😇 . I’ll definitely fuck one of those three anyway as they all seem very interested to be the first guy I’ve ever fill up. Things are looking great tho never been more turned on at the thought of a few guys wanting my cock in my life and my opinion on their bubble butts and cute little holes.
EDIT: some people messaging asking if I find the Forwardness weird, nah I don’t I find it extremely hot.
SECOND EDIT: didn’t expect any messages 😅keep them DM’s coming i guess god damn😜😜😜😜🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵

Me: Wouldn't it be fun to wait to post this in the summer so you can say happy Christmas in July for once? Also me: that's a terrible joke. Just publish the thing.
Apologies for publishing in 2 parts. I'm not trying to drag it out I'm just aware this is the length of 2 episodes, reddit will only allow me 20 pics per post, and there's just too much going on for our beloved idiot in this one, so. I'm pacing myself.
It's not Christmas in July, it's Christmas 1919 at Downton and I spent an embarrassing amount of time wondering if Mr Fellowes really wants me to believe that the Crawleys decorated the Goliath of Christmas trees themselves (they didn't, but I like that Mary was sipping her tea and offering her view on things. Queen👑 ).
Plus, the setup for this episode intro had an actual checklist:
Tree? Check
Family arriving? Check
Violet judging this year's Christmas cards and looking for the contenders for worst cards of the year (they judge them on both content, and actual card)? Check
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Anna gets a gold heart brooch from Mary and Mrs Hughes is as excited about it as she is. Also, I can see the inspo for the entire Anna/Mary tag on AO3 right here. And Mrs Hughes ships it.
Just kidding, Bates is in prison, and we're all very sad.
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Carlisle is wondering why the Crawleys are being kind to their servants by letting them have some time off at lunchtime on Christmas Day, and I'm wondering if anyone (namely, us, the viewers) is supposed to be surprised by his behaviour.
I mean, blackmailing Lavinia just because? Blackmailing Mary into an engagement with him? Trying to manipulate Anna and Carson? Being physically abusive to Mary, and trying to control her life and behaviour? Bringing Lavinia back to "sacrifice" her to a lifetime as Matthew's nurse, so Mary won't spend that much time with Matthew (not because there was something off about that, just that Carlisle didn't want her to)?
He is an asshole. He was an asshole. He will always be an asshole. Glad we're finally all on the same page.
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Matthew and Mary are exchanging presents behind Robert's head in one scene and I'm very upset by it. Please, if anyone has any ideas, submit what you think they got each other for Christmas.
If you need any inspiration, here's what people would buy each other as presents in the 1920s according to the British Newspaper Archives:
Lots of cigarette paraphernalia Cocktails Banjos PENCILS Dance Frocks Shaving Kits Vacuum Cleaners
Keep that list in mind if you're disappointed with your presents next year.
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Matthew got a telephone call telling him that Mr Swire is very ill, and he will got to London to visit him. Mary gives him some condolences and he says "I'm sorry if I'm casting a gloom". I have a feeling the poor man had been pretty depressed for quite long, probably perked up a bit for Christmas and thought he was bringing the mood down again, but Mary responds with compassion. Oh Matthew.
Carlisle saw Mary go after Matthew in the hall, to ask about Mr Swire, and literally took his newspaper with him and followed her out there because that's completely normal behaviour. Just picture the ridiculousness of it: Mary and Matthew talking about Mr Swire and Bates' trial, romantic themes that they are, and Carlisle is so annoyed by it he's standing there in the background. Reading a newspaper, just to make sure they know he's still around (who could forget, mate).
Also, Mary saying she'll attend Bates' trial to support Anna, and Matthew immediately going "Would you like me to go with you?". Because of course he wants to support Mary in all things.
And this is Matthew's first villainous act for the episode: He asks Carlisle "or will YOU do that?" as in, since you're here, will you be supporting Mary in this endeavour.
Of course he isn't. Carlisle could never understand the concept of being there as emotional support for a Servant. He can't even understand why one would give a servant a few hours off on Christmas Day.
And just like that, Matthew scores one point in showcasing that Carlisle is a waste of space.
Matthew's Villainy points so far: 1
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Btw, Matthew has a few sets of looks reserved for Carlisle: Derision, derision, and more derision.
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They're playing charades (aka The Game), Mary is mimicking falling down, Matthew has a front row seat to it, and they're not playing on the same team so she can't rely on him to guess. Which means he can sit back and have the time of his life.
Carlisle complains about not liking the game and I'm left to wonder why he wanted that life so much since he could find nothing to enjoy in it.
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Mary IS still trying with him, however. He complains again on New Years Eve about the servants having some time off, and she reasons that it only happens twice a year, and he complains again that she doesn't understand because she didn't have to work for what she has.
Fellowes finally does the work on these two. I was having a conversation with another user recently, who was wondering why Mary picked Carlisle when she could have picked someone like Evelyn Napier.
Let's forget the Pamuk Scandal for a moment. Mary clearly wanted something more other than a traditional marriage. When we meet her, she's 21. She already has a husband in her pocket, if all she wanted was a position in society and a title, she'd have already been married to Patrick in 1912. But clearly, she wanted more out of life than to be someone's wife.
She wanted love, and she wanted to have something to do, whatever that was. She would have found both in Matthew, if things hadn't gone to complete shit, so why not consider Carlisle (back when he seemed normal)?
He was a working, self-made man, so he was interesting to her. He wasn't the run-of-the-mill rich boy she'd been exposed to her entire life, and if she married him she'd have a job in establishing him in London society and helping him build his empire. She'd Work, in short. She'd be allowed to use her brain.
But they don't match. At all. He offered her a marriage of convenience, and then was upset that she loved someone else, when Carlisle never offered her love in the first place. She wanted to be able to go about her life, he wanted her under his thumb to do his bidding. She was raised to have a certain respect for other people (e.g. the servants in the house), he thought that because he had money he could do whatever the fuck he wanted.
In short, they don't work together. Not even taking into account he was blackmailing her with a scandal, and Matthew was off stage left being Villainous (according to Carlisle. Villain, Perseus, it's all a matter of perspective.)
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I love how they contrast Carlisle's ruthlessness with Matthew's compassion (and look how she looks up to him). Because Matthew is also a working man, but he's kind. And even though he didn't have any connection to mr Swire anymore, he stood by him in his hour of need, to the bitter end.
Speaking of contrasting Carlisle's assholery to Matthew:
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Rosamund's WhatsHisFace of a suitor points out there's only three women following the shoot, and they should divide their time between the men taking part in said shoot (God forbid women are not around to entertain these assholes gents). Carlisle immediately rebuffs him before Mary can get a word in, saying "Lady Mary will stand by ME". Mary is about to, very politely, put him in his place, when Matthew comes in for his second act of Villainy so far, saying "I thought you said you'd stand by me for the first shoot, isn't that what you said?"
He doesn't push her to go with him, he's just giving her an exit plan. So that Mary doesn't have to bring herself in an awkward position in front of all those people, to defend her right to an opinion. And Mary takes it. Of course she does. She can show Carlisle he doesn't get to dictate what she does, and do so in a way that doesn't create gossip.
Matthew's Villainy points so far: 2
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Look how he looks at her. He's so happy she took him up on it. Whatever else happened beyond this, they were friends. He cared for her, and she cared for him. And he has her back here, and she accepted it, so easily. And that made him happy (and so, so smug. A true Villain).
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She loves how un-selfconscious he is. She's always loved it, all those years ago at the flower show when he'd mock himself for her benefit, to make her laugh. He does it here still but now she's not surprised by it, just endlessly fond. Dozens of men spent years showing off their (probably mediocre) skills, to win her favour, and of course she'd fall for the guy who was just being honest. Mary likes honesty, she never got much of it. Her world is a show of mirrors where nothing is what it seems, and it must have been so refreshing to be with someone who was exactly what he showed the world. It's only sad that it took her so long to realise that just as she loved him for who he was, he'd do the same. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
"He does rather beg to be teased" - this asshole has been deliberately messing with Carlisle for ages, hasn't he. I've only counted 2 Villainy points, but I bet he earned himself dozens before. Whenever he'd get pissed off at something Carlisle said he'd just whisk Mary away, just to show him that he could, even if Carlisle was the fiance, Matthew was still an important person in her life, and he'd always be, and he made sure Carlisle knew that (and took great, great enjoyment in it).
Mary: The awful truth is, he’s starting to get on my nerves. Still, you’re not the person to burden with that.
Matthew: You’re still going to marry him, though.
Mary: Of course. Why wouldn’t I.
Matthew is not happy about this. He appears to not understand it, and I wish I could give him a a nice shake. Regardless of the information he doesn't have, Matthew, mate, it's not like she hasn't met other men. Like it or not, most of your lot back in the day belonged in the bin.
And Mary, as a high-society woman, didn't have a lot of options. She had to get married. And at least Carlisle wanted to buy Haxby, she'd be near her family, spend time in London. Before she'd have hoped to actually get some work done, within the capacity her marriage would allow her, but with things being as they are with Carlisle I think she's now hoping he'd be busy with his work and she could get on with her days and maybe not see much of him, as most couples of their class did. And that's not taking into account the actual reason why Mary thinks she absolutely Must marry Carlisle.
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Also, Matthew, let's not pretend you'd like any man she brought home. So either take a deep breath and confess some things, or get on with it.
Carlisle asks Mary why she and Matthew were laughing together. He asks "Am I never to be free of him?" and her answer is, of course not. Because, of course not. First of all, sorry to say Richard, but, they're a package deal.
I can't see either one of them giving up the other willingly, not after all this. But of course, the main thing is the aristocracy thing. He's the head of the family, you'll see A Lot of Matthew, if you and Mary get married. And Matthew has spent almost every minute of the episode so far making sure Richard knows this. One would say, he's trying to push him out (like a villain), through his sheer presence in Mary's life.
"I might understand if you let me think for a solitary minute that you preferred my company to his."
Here's another problem: He should know, this wasn't part of their terms. Of course, he's not an aristocrat, so he's not aware of how loveless marriages of convenience work, but since it WAS a loveless marriage of convenience he was offering, I wonder why THE FUCK, he demands her attention now.
Mary would perform her duty to him. She'd be the best hostess London ever saw. She'd be the pretty wife on his arm, and she'd charm his contacts, and she'd be the stepping stone for him to be accepted in aristocratic circles, and she'd give him children and hold his house. And yes, she'd love spending time with her family, and that included Matthew.
Richard is just being a petty, controlling, fuck. Because he wants more than she's willing to offer, and he wants more than what he'd originally asked. So he, can shove it.
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Richard: I’ve done everything I can to please you.
Mary: Do you mean you bought a large and rather vulgar house?
Richard: You cannot talk to me like that! What have I done to deserve it? What?!
Would you like a list of your crimes, Richard? I've posted it a bit further above.
Also, Mary. She was hoping he'd offer her an interesting life (before he turned out to be an asshole). But all he's offered so far is the same old bullshit she's been offered all her life: A big empty (emotionless) house.
A demanding husband. A life full of constraints and limitations, set to her by a husband who expects to dictate everything she does.
It's at this point that Matthew, clearly the villain of the story, shows up because he hears Richard yelling at Mary and that just won't do.
My beloved idiot covers for Richard here. And she does it because of something she said to Matthew before "He's starting to get on my nerves, but you're not the person to burden with that."
She doesn't want Matthew to feel like he has to come to her rescue. She heard him, when he told her they can't be together (many times) in the previous episodes. And she loves him, so she's let him be. She knows he's got his own troubles, that he's been through a lot, and that shows with how she watches him walk away with a fair bit of worry in her eyes. Plus, she doesn't want him to do anything for her out of obligation. She just wants them to be friends, and friends don't solve your marital (or, in this case, pre-marital) problems. They can provide comedic relief, and support, but that's about it.
And as we said, Matthew is clearly the villain of this story.
Speaking of which, Matthew interrupted Richard's yelling at Mary so, I guess that means - Matthew's Villainy points so far: 3
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Speaking of friends: Matthew will be there, for Mary (and Anna) at Bates' trial, and Mary asks to be there when he brings back Mr Swire's ashes, since the man wanted to be buried next to his daughter (who had to be buried at Downton, and not near her home in London, for maximum guilt-trip points I guess).
I love how those two care, and support each other in difficult times. It IS what friends do. Of course, Carlisle is not happy about that either. And listen, if he was in love with Mary, I'd be very understanding. I'd be telling him to cut his losses and run. I'd be empathising. But I'm like, you've been an absolute tool for years now mate, how am I supposed to see your POV, when you're basically worrying that if those two, at some point, get their heads out of their asses and realise they make a great couple, you'll lose your trophy wife you've trapped in a marriage, through sheer luck (on your end).
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Carlisle, after that entire day of watching Mary and Matthew having a nice time out with the family, pressures Mary to set a wedding date. Mary wants to wait, I guess she hopes for some godly intervention because she definitely doesn't see any other way out of her current situation, and he goes so far as to literally grab her, and in front of her family too.
I'm finally not the only one who wants to shoot him dead. Of course, Robert won't do anything about it because when has Robert ever done anything for Mary (so far), but Matthew looks tempted.
(I had to cut out poor Carson because there's too many people on this frame as it is, but shout out to him for also worriedly watching in the background).
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Matthew: Mary. Can I help?
Mary: After today, I won’t insult you by asking what you mean.
Matthew: You don’t have to marry him, you know. You don’t have to marry anyone. You’ll always have a home here as long as I’m alive.
First of all, I LOVE, that his reaction was to ignore Carlisle, run after Mary, and ask her if he can help. He's not offering to be a saviour. Mary doesn't need one of those (she does need to find that steel in her spine though). But he's offering to support her, and he says it in a way that implies he'd do pretty much anything she asked (Do you want to poison him? I'll help carry him to the pigs pen).
Second of all, Matthew, you absolute Idiot.
Mary supporting you in your grief, you supporting her with Bates' trial, that's normal friend behaviour.
You telling her she can LIVE with you forever, and so she doesn't have to Marry Any Man, is so, so dumb.
What is she going to live with you as, Matthew? Your cousin again? Where is the cousinl-y behaviour line drawn? Private dinners? Maybe with some candles and soft music? Holidays in Europe together?
Also, where is that imaginary limit you've put to your happiness with her for the sake of Lavinia's (very real, according to canon) ghost, mate?
You clearly seem happy enough to spend time with Mary, support her, laugh with her. Is it just the romance that's killing your mood?
Is it that that's the harshest punishment Matthew could imagine, spending his life next to Mary without actually spending his life WITH her, or is it that in spite of how much he wanted to suffer for his mistake, he just couldn't bring himself to cut ties entirely? Or is it that her happiness was more important than his self-imposed martyrdom, so he couldn't keep himself away and let her throw away her life for God knows what (her own mistake, is the answer, because they both like making themselves suffer for past sins. They've got A LOT in common).
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Mary: Didn’t the war teach you never to make promises? And anyway, you’re wrong. I do have to marry him.
Matthew: But why? Not to prove you’ve broken with me, surely? We know where we stand. We’ve no need for...gestures.
Mary: If I told you the reason, you’d despise me, and that I really couldn’t bear.
She makes me so sad. She's so certain she'll be ruined and kicked out of her house if the scandal ever came out.
And I get it. It was how she'd been raised. And all she's heard so far is how she's "a slut" and "damaged goods" and Mary's self-image is in tatters. She doesn't view herself as anyone worth fighting for, she doesn't want anyone else to fight for her, and she won't even fight for herself, and to me that's the saddest part of all.
She's entirely defeated, has been for a long time. This entire season. She's taken every blow and hasn't dodged them at all. Welcoming Lavinia, accepting Matthew as a friend and nothing more. Being by his side when he got injured, taking care of him and accepting his rejection without a peep. Listening to him announce his wedding and helping Lavinia plan it. Baring herself to Carlisle, giving him "the tools to destroy her", willingly, to salvage the family name, and to help Bates. And later letting Matthew call her, and himself "cursed", and walking away from it, somehow. Probably because she believes it.
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She told Carson, after Pamuk died, that "she knows what it means to be happy, but she knows she herself will never be happy" and she has proved to have embraced that sentiment, fully. Her despair back then is reflected here. Mary is not looking for happiness. She's just looking for cover. Some place where she can be sure she won't be hurt anymore.
She didn't believe that would be in a marriage with Matthew, and Matthew's strict morals so far, and his own self-hatred, have only further proven to her that she had been correct. She thinks that if Matthew can't excuse himself a kiss with a woman he loved, he won't ever excuse her having sex with a man she didn't love. And for all the unhappiness, all the cold comfort she sees in her future, she at least has his friendship. And how could she ever risk losing that? What would she be left with? Who else is there in the world, that supports her like he has? Her mother, who brought back Lavinia to push her away from Matthew? Her father? Who values the family above all else? Nothing. And no one. Just Matthew.
So she can bear Carlisle's cruelty, his moods and his demands. And she can bear the thought of living life on his arm to be paraded around London society for his benefit. But she can't bear the thought of Matthew thinking ill of her. Can't bear having him look at her the way her mother, or her sister did. And she's so honest here in her pain. She hasn't shown any of it, of the backloads of it, to anyone other than Anna, all season. But she can't keep it in now, after all that, in front of Matthew.
My poor broken child 💔
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She hears Cora yell her name and there's despair in her eyes. Even now she has family obligations to fulfil, so whatever emotional breakthrough she could have made, gets interrupted because heaven forbid she's not there for the Crawleys to play card games with.
Before I forget, Matthew goes after Mary, hoping to help her in her hour of need therefore, Matthew's Villainy points so far: 4
Matthew directs that accusatory look to Cora and I'm so proud of him for that. Cora's involvement in Mary's life has been nothing short of catastrophic. With her only saving grace being the fact that she wasn't actually willing to throw her daughter out of her house. I don't know how she gets to be so worried about the situation now, considering it's, largely, of her own making.
This whole season has been about pain and loss, in its various forms. And Mary's has been largely contained, because that's who she is, she keeps everything close to her heart, especially the things that hurt her. But it's all spilling out in this episode. There's so many things she can't contain, like Carlisle's jealousy, her own grief, at this point, after so many years. And for all those who look, it's the most obvious thing in the world, that Mary is suffering.
Well. Almost all.
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Robert calls Carlisle grabbing Mary in front of her family "an awkward moment", and calls Mary "tired" of Carlisle.
Yes, Robert. Of all the things Mary is feeling at the moment, tiredness is one of them. Not sure if it's the most obvious one, but with you I've learned to bring a small basket.
He also, unlike Matthew, doesn't respect Mary enough to go up to her and ask her if she needs anything from, idk, her father. Some help, some advice. He asks his wife to tell him if he's overlooked anything, and how is the answer to that not "Pretty much everything that's ever happened in this house".
And at this point, I will leave you, because we're half way through and I've already hit both my word, and my image limit. The first one is self-imposed, for the second one, send your grievances @ reddit.

After suspecting endometriosis following over a decade of unexplained, progressive pelvic pain, I spent the last year tirelessly searching for the best possible treatment. I went to a very expensive out of network excision specialist because I learned that non-specialists can miss endo during laproscopy. I had my appendix, urachal remnant, a few cysts and 20 lesions removed.
To my surprise, my surgeon called me yesterday and confirmed by biggest fear: my pathology revealed no endometriosis in any of the lesions excised. She said I was having chronic appendicitis and inflammation all over my pelvic cavity, so my appendectomy may help with the right-sided pain. Great news.
But what about my excruciating cramping that has progressed from during periods, to periods and ovulation, to every day of my life? My surgeon said based on my MRI and how enlarged my uterus looked during surgery, she still suspects adenomyosis, but added that it isn’t common to have adeno without endo.
While I’m glad I don’t have endo, this procedure that I was hoping would give me answers left me with more questions. I was feeling really hopeful about surgery, and now I feel like I’m starting at square one.
My surgeons suggestions were to 1. continue hormone therapy, or 2. have kids asap (which I haven’t even decided if I want yet) and then go for the hysterectomy.
I’m feeling hopeless, and I’ve been having a hard time finding other’s who have had a similar experience.

Chapter 5
Lacy opened her eyes and saw flashing colorful lights. She heard carnival music playing from loudspeakers. She wondered to herself what this place was walking around. She saw multiple vendor stands and carnival games. Everything looked abandoned, food dropped on the floor and chairs flipped. She continued walking, finding a carnival ride. It was one of the droppers. Lacy had memories with her mother going on these kinds of rides. She pushed on following the stands until she stumbled upon a circus tent. She stepped inside and saw a man. The man was very tall and was standing in the middle of the tent. The man turned around and the lights to the tent turned on revealing that the man was a clown on stilts. The clown had a white face with a red nose. His hair was red and was split in two making it look like he had horns. He had on an oversized shirt that looked like multiple blue and red shirts stitched together. His pants were baggy and had obvious blood stains. The stilts made him about ten feet tall. The clown wore a frown on his face, giving Lacy a sense of uncertainty. “What's your name little girl, I have all sorts of tricks that can make you laugh.” The clown's voice was goofy and lighthearted compared to the frown on its face that it kept. “Ah come on, don't be shy. We can still have fun. Not like all of the other’s who left.” Lacy noticed a man lying in a pool of blood next to the clown. He was wearing ringmaster attire. The clown noticed that Lacy saw the body. “He didn’t laugh. Just like the others.” The clown's voice had changed. He now sounded like an older man who had given up on feeling joy. “Did you kill that man?” Lacy asked, already knowing the answer. “No. I released him. He didn’t laugh. He had no joy. So I released him.” Lacy began to back off, gripping her knife. The clown revealed a sword it was holding behind his back. It had blood on it. “I’ll release you too”. The clown began stepping towards her, laughing while doing so. “God Dammit not again” Lacy ran throughout the carnival grounds with the clown closely behind her. She noticed a security trailer. She got to the door and it was locked. Hearing the laughter getting closer. She slammed her body into the door until it finally broke open. The laughter ceased. Lacy looked around the office not seeing anything special. Until she saw a tape recorder.
Chapter 6
Lacy grabbed the recorder. “Who would even have time to make these?”
This is Professor Crawdord. I have managed to survive in this obscure world for what feels like multiple days. This new threat, the clown on stilts seems to be less of a problem than he looks. He’s slow compared to other things I have faced. I discovered evidence as to who this person is. His name is Daniel Larson. He worked at the circus for most of his life. One could only imagine the mind of someone who is laughed at all day for most of their lives. On an unfortunate day Larson snapped and murdered a man on the fairgrounds. The man was another attraction. His specialty was swallowing swords and evidence showed that Larson used the sword to kill him. Larson continued killing, focusing on people that would not laugh at his jokes. The Ringmaster called showtime and at the start of the show Larson told him a joke in front of the audience and when the Ringmaster did not respond Larson killed him. The audience rushed out and as the police showed up Larson had disappeared. Upon searching his trailer they found pictures of other unsolved murders in the area. Larson was never caught. I have not figured out exactly what the holes are but I feel that Larson has to be connected somehow. These holes have a requirement to open. A death must take place for them to appear.
Lacy set the tape recorder down understanding now what had to happen. Lacy looked at the knife in her hand. “He’s a murderer. He’s hurt people. I'd be doing the world a favor.” Lacy opened the trailer door and followed the laughter leading to the circus tent.
Chapter 6
Lacy reached the entrance to the tent, peering inside she saw Larson standing over the ringmaster's body. Lacy moved underneath the stands. Larson turned towards the entrance and began walking around the tent. “I know you're here child.” Lacy ran throughout the underside of the stands. Trying to find an angle to see Larson and which direction he was facing. Lacy could see Larson was searching for her. The stilts made him move slow enough for her to sneak up on him easily. Slowly moving throughout the tent, Lacy got close enough behind Larson to hear him mumbling something to himself. Running towards Larson she kicked the stilts causing him to fall to the ground. Lacy took the opportunity to stab the clown in the shoulder. Larson kicked Lacy away and swept the sword in her direction, cutting her on the leg. Lacy turned to run towards the opening of the tent, but Larson grabbed her foot and lifted the sword. “You’ll pay like they did.” Lacy kicked Larson in the face, got up and ran to leave the tent. “DON’T LEAVE! YOU HAVEN'T LAUGHED YET!” Lacy could hear Larson limping behind her, now off the stilts. She ran until she could no longer hear Larson behind her. “The dropper, I can distract him with the dropper.” Lacy avoided Larson, eventually making her way to the dropper. She didn’t know how to work the machine so she had to guess until she got it right. “Come on, you stupid machine.” Pressing multiple buttons, Lacy could hear the laughter of Larson creeping slowly towards her. Finally the ride shot up into the sky. Larson stepped onto the platform of the dropper. “I found you, please stop. I'll lose everything if you don't laugh.” Lacy took notice of the dropper rushing towards the ground. Just as Larson swiped his sword down at Lacy, she dodged out of the way. As Larson tried to get his footing back, she pushed him under the dropper. The machine crushed him ending the vile man’s savage slaughter. Lacy turned around to see at the bottom of the platform a hole had appeared. “Please, let me go home.” Lacy stepped through the hole, once again blacking out.
Chapter 7
Lacy awoke to a wooded area. She noticed a sign that said “The Weeping Woods”. “Where am I? Am I home?” Standing up she followed a trail marked that led to a camping area. She saw multiple benches and what seemed like a campfire that was put out. She continued along the path seeing a fire watch tower in the distance. “Maybe that place has people”. Continuing to the tower she could hear someone crying from a distance. Lacy kept pushing on the trail until she reached the bottom of the watch tower. The stairs felt endless as Lacy could hear the hissing of a radio coming from the room on top.She noticed that one of the stairs as well as the railing was damaged. Lacy skipped that step in fear of it breaking. Reaching the top everything felt nauseatingly small. She could see a light moving in the distance. The light moved erratically as if it was a person holding a flashlight, running away from something. Lacy turned to the watch room and noticed that the lights were on and someone was trying to reach the radio in the room. Pulling open the door she walked up to the radio and as she tried to contact the person on the other side, the radio shut off. Turning to examine the rest of the room Lacy noticed another tape recorder. Grabbing the recorder she pressed play.
I managed to kill the smiling man. I don’t know what it has done to me emotionally. It seemed so easy at the time. I told myself that the man was a beast. Anyway, I awoke in a forest, I found a path and followed it until I found a woman. The woman was sitting in the middle of the path. She was wearing a white dress that was covered in dirt. I could not see her face, but I could hear her. She was crying and her body looked frail. As I got closer I noticed her hair was long enough to cover her entire face. She asked me a question. “Have you seen Kevin?” I had no answer. Fear took over every part of my body. I could feel my muscles start to ache at the thought of having to run from this girl. A loud growl came from the girl. It shaked my very soul. I managed to escape to her. I made my way to the watch room where I will rest for a while. To whoever finds this tape, you know what you have to do.
Lacy put the recorder down. Looking out of the window she saw the light continue to move in the forest before it stopped. As Lacy turned to leave the watch room. The light disappeared.
Chapter 8
Walking along the path that the light she saw was on, Lacy couldn't help but see the image of the girl the Crawford had described in her head. Looking at the knife she still had, she knew there was only one way to get out of this forest. Along the trail Lacy found the light source that she had seen. It belonged to a man that was lying still on the floor. His flashlight was still on. “Hey, are you alright?” Lacy asked the body. Turning the body over Lacy stepped back in horror. The man's body was pale and looked shriveled. Lacy brushed the fear off and picked up his flashlight. As Lacy picked it up she heard a voice from behind her. “Have you seen Kevin?” Fear erupted in Lacy as the words were familiar to her. Remembering the recorder she slowly stood up before turning around to face the being. The girl was exactly as described in the tape. Except for one detail. She had a wedding veil on. “I don’t know who Kevin is, I'm sorry” Lacy said the first thing that came to her mind, instantly regretting it. The girl opened her mouth at an angle that rivaled pythons. A ghastly wail rang out of her mouth, ringing Lacys ears. Without hesitation Lacy plunged the knife into the girl's neck. Pulling it out the wailing did not cease. It didn't affect her. Lacy turned to run, almost tripping over the body of the man. As Lacy was running the girl was on all fours crawling towards her at a faster pace than any normal person could crawl. She looked like an animal. Lacy noticed that the girl was no longer screaming, but was crying. The tears were blood red and she looked sympathetic to Lacy. Running past the trees Lacy looked for an answer to the problem that was crawling behind her. Trying to listen over the sound of her own breathing and the crying of the girl behind her, she heard the sound of a river flowing in the distance. Running towards the sound of the river, Lacy tripped over a log tumbling to the ground. Almost in an instant the girl climbed on top of her. Her eyes met Lacy as her mouth opened in the same disgusting manner that it had before and just as her mouth opened the same way as it had before, the same sound erupted as well. Lacy felt her blood boil at the sound, feeling her life leaving her body. In a final attempt to free herself she freed her hand and stuck the knife directly into the girl's mouth. The girl’s scream stopped and turned into a painful yelp rather than an angry roar. Lacy used the moment to kick the girl off of her and got up to run. As she began to run the girl grabbed her leg, piercing her skin with her nails. Lacy pushed through and kept running. As Lacy was running she turned her head around to see the girl just sitting there, crying. Lacy got a fair distance away and began walking to regain strength. Finally making it to the river, she stopped to drink. Lacy made a sudden realization. She wasn't thirsty. After everything she had been through she was not thirsty at all. Not only was she not thirsty, but she was not hungry either. “I have to come up with a plan”. Lacy understood the rules of this strange place. Something has to die in order for one of those holes to appear. “But I saw that guy's body, why wasn’t there a hole there? No, these beings, Larson, The Smiling Man, This girl, they don’t get to leave. That’s why Crawford said you know what you have to do. The holes appear when the beings in these places die. The girl has to die for a hole to appear.” Lacy was talking outloud, it made her feel less alone. As Lacy was washing the blood off of her she looked into the river. She could see the moon in the reflection as well as her face. Looking into her eyes she noticed a drop hit the river. Looking at the other side of the river. She saw the girl crouching down, looking directly at Lacy with her blood red eyes.
Chapter 9
The river wasn’t wide. It would take the girl less than 5 seconds to cross. Lacy had to think fast. Her mind was racing as the girl just sat there and watched her. An idea popped into her head. The watchtower. Almost supernaturally, as Lacy had the idea the girl lounged towards her. Lacy dodged out of the way and broke into a sprint hearing the girl crying and crawling after her. After what felt like hours of running and having this thing chase after her, she made it to the tower. The girl was crawling after her, looking like an alligator chasing its prey. Stepping onto the steps Lacy felt her legs start to give up. She pushed on, her muscles burning. Turning her head she saw the girl crawling up the stairs. Lacy’s heart was racing as her body needed to rest or it would shut down. “Where is Kevin?” The girl screamed for the first time since she had begun chasing Lacy. Lacy could feel her body giving up and just as she passed the broken step, her legs collapsed. Lacy layed on the steps as the girl crawled up the steps towards her. The girl was crawling slower now that she had seen Lacy was on the ground. Lacy continued backing up on the stairs. Just as the girl was about to lounge at Lacy she put her hand on the broken step. Seeing this Lacy kicked the broken step causing it to break. The girl lost her footing and Lacy pushed her off of the balcony. The girl fell from the immense height of the tower. Lacy took the moment to just lay on the steps. Hours passed as Lacy rested. She mustered up enough strength to go down the stairs. At the bottom of the tower she found the body of the girl. She looked as if all of her bones were broken. Her eyes were open and Lacy could see the blood pooling in them. Lacy became nauseous at the sight of her body. Looking to the left she saw a hole. A hole that was all too familiar with her. Lacy collected her thoughts. “This has to end” Stepping through the hole, only one thing was in her mind. This has to end.
Chapter 10
Lacy woke up to the sound of snow falling. The room that she was in was warm. A fire was crackling in the corner of the room. Looking out of the window of the house she saw a massive snow storm that affected her vision to see past the tree line. Lacy examined her surroundings and saw a normal looking room. In the middle was a couch. Just looking at the couch made Lacy tired. Walking around the cabin she noticed the room looked untouched, unlike every other place she had been in. Sitting down on the couch Lacy's eyes became heavy as she began to fall asleep. Just as she was about to pass out a loud bugle of an elk erupted. Lacy ran to the window to see where it was. As she looked outside it seemed as if the storm had stopped for just a second. As the snow ceased, an elk poked through the tree line. Its eyes were looking directly at Lacy. Just as fast as it disappeared, the snow storm erupted. “You’re a failure Lacy.” A voice swept through the cabin. It sounded familiar. “You killed her you know” Lacy placed the voice. It was her father. Lacy’s mind was racing. How did he get here? Why was he saying this? Where was he? And her last thought, Was this really him? The elk bugle rang throughout the cabin again. “I pitied you” The voice was Collin. Lacy searched the windows of the house trying to find the origin of the voices she was hearing. “Everyone hates you” Lacy stepped towards the door reaching for the handle. A sudden and intense fear brushed over her. Lacy felt that if she opened that door, whatever was telling her these things would take her life. Stepping away from the door she heard the Elk bugle again. “Why did you leave me Lacy?” The voice was her father again. This time it sounded as if he was crying. “I told you I needed you and you left. After everything I sacrificed for you, after all of the times I had to go to that school to bail you out. This is how you repay me.” Lacy could feel her emotions boiling inside of her. Everything that was being said was true in a sense so Lacy was letting it affect her more than anything else ever had. She could feel tears running down her face. “I'm trying to get back to you dad, I just don't know how.” Lacy looked towards the window and saw the Elk. It had gotten closer to the cabin. The snow had calmed down. The Elk opened its mouth and spoke in the voice of her father. “You won’t make it out of this place alive Lacy”.
Chapter 11
Looking into the eyes of the Elk, Lacy’s blood ran cold. Her mind was racing. Animals can’t talk but yet this Elk just looked her in the eyes and spoke in the voice of her father as well as other people she knew. The snow had ceased tremendously compared to when she had first appeared in the cabin. Lacy worked up the courage to ask the Elk a question. “What do you want from me?” The Elk did not reply, instead it turned to the tree line and left. Remembering the rules of this place, Lacy understood that the Elk had to die. The question was how she was going to accomplish that. Lacy gathered enough courage to open the door to examine her surroundings. Outside of the cabin was a blanket of blinding snow. The sun was high in the sky blinding Lacy. Before Lacy went back inside she noticed a wooden stump sticking out of the snow. Sticking out of the stump was an axe. Lacy slammed the door shut and closed the latch. Lacy knew that the dull kitchen knife she had wouldn’t be able to handle an elk, but an axe would. Lacy began to plan a way to get to the Elk. She took notice of certain aspects that the Elk had. Every time it made the bugle noise, it would change voices. The closer it got, the more the snowstorm would calm. Lacy had to play its game until it got close enough to the axe so that she could reach the axe before it could reach her. The elk bugle sounded again. “You really think that anyone thought you could accomplish anything.”. It was her teacher. Lacy peered out of the window. The snow had ceased ever so slightly. Lacy could see the silhouette of the elk near the same spot it was in before. “What do you think, we cared about you? We pitied you and your pitiful existence.” Lacy began to brush off the sentences coming from the elk's mouth. Lacy was contemplating if the axe play was the way to move further. The bugle went off again. “Lacy” the voice was the smiling man. The smiling man was a recent memory to Lacy. This elk had to know who she was to be able to know who he was. Lacy looked out of the window. The elk was watching her. This time Lacy saw it make the awful sound she had continued to hear. Instead of a voice she had heard. It was a voice that was unfamiliar to her. “Why fight it child. Why fight what you truly are. Why fight human nature? Why fight reality? Do you truly think you can escape? Do you truly believe that you will see your father again? Do you believe that you have people to rely on in this place? Do you truly believe that God is with you here? You have no chance. Smite me down if you must. HOPE SHOULD BE ABANDONED IN THIS PLACE” Lacy brushed off every word that was said. Rushing to the door she threw it open. Running through the snow. She reached the axe. It was a standard fire axe with a yellow handle and black blade. It wasn't heavy to her, it had to be adrenaline. Rushing towards the elk it did not fight back. She plunged the axe head into the elk's skull. Blood rushed out of the wound, covering Lacy. The elk fell to the floor with a booming thud. As Lacy stared at the body of the animal lying in the snow, a hole appeared behind her. Lacy had to believe that there was an end to this. She stepped through the hole. With a new found axe.

I posted this to another forum a couple days ago, and a lot of people keep telling me its abuse. I know its not nearly as awful as some of the scenarios here, but I would love some opinions on whats going on. I feel blindsided by the idea that im in an abusive relationship right now, and terrified of it ending. Thank you everyone <3
LINK TO THE ORIGINAL POST: https://www.reddit.com/MMFB/comments/1cs5rhd/i_18m_feel_like_my_girlfriend_18f_is_verbally/
For context, I am in University about 50 miles from where she and my parents live, so I commute every weekend and most weekdays to see her. I love her. Plain and simple, in so many ways. We used to work together until she got a better job recently. Yesterday was her birthday. I made her some cookies common in the continent she's from, and baked them into heart shapes. I also got her 25$ of lottery tickets, flowers, her favorite energy drink, and a handwritten card with a lot of writing and drawings of us and her cat. I dropped it off to her in the morning after an all-nighter (going through it with finals and papers right now) and drove to the University to work my full shift. First she texted me thanking me for the gift, then asked me "what the fuck" those cookies were and that she choked on them. I was sad, told her what they were, and she told me I shouldn't have cooked something as a gift since I'm a bad cook. (I am, but I've made other stuff that she liked in the past). She also complained that the whole point of buying lottery tickets is to buy them, not to scratch them (I disagree?). She texted me that I shouldn't have gotten her anything if it was just going to be low effort.
I saw her later that night after she got out of work, and she was mad at me. She said I ruined her birthday by giving such a low effort gift, and that I didn't care about her. She brought up that I ruined her birthday last year too (by not immediately stopping our text conversation about some other girl and wishing her happy birthday the minute it got past midnight). Anytime I responded that I did put effort into the cookies, she would just deny it. Incredibly frustrating since I know how much effort I put in. She was mad the flowers I got her were not in a boquet, only loose, which didn't make it seem like a special occasion. At the heart of it she was mad that my gifts weren't special? To me the card and cookies were plenty special but she just says that it was stuff I've given her other days. She started calling me ret*rded, to which I responded "You're mean to me and I don't like it". I don't remember much of what she said (I'd had 4 hours of sleep in the past 2 nights), but she doubled down and continued calling me a wide variety of hurtful words, from ret*rded to stupid to childish and immature. I was already long sobbing, and in the middle asked her to just hit me instead. She obviously refused. She asked if I even wanted to go on our trip this upcoming weekend. I responded yes, and she replied that maybe I don't if I don't care about her enough to get her a decent gift.
She's horrifically depressed, and I know she has some specific trauma in response to people not caring about her birthdays. I think that explains part of it. Still, I tried. I am also depressed myself. I've tried bringing it up to her a few times and she responds that I'm "always b*tching too much" because my life is so perfect. Compared to hers its way better, yes, but that doesn't mean I need a reason to be depressed. She's also acted distant the entire Spring semester. I rarely spend time with her, and even more rarely is it time that isn't just "okay we can see each other for 5 minutes but I have to go in". We havent' had sex since January, or cuddling. I very much miss both of these things, and we've had (rare) opportunities for them shes missed because shes too busy sleeping (I'm not allowed in her appartment to join her, mom discovered we had sex).
At the end of being yelled at when she denied me a hug and told me essentially to go away, I had a nervous break. Honestly I've been working too much and I'm overwhelmed with needing to find a new second job and the immense weight of finals and final essays ,things breaking on my car, and now this. I sped off, her and her mom heard my tires squealing and uninvited me from the trip. I drove recklessly for about 2-3 minutes on backroads while scream-crying about killing myself and fighting the urge to drive into a tree. Not proud of it. But I am devastated about missing the trip. She backed out on us living together, and promised we could have time to cuddle on the trip. I honestly don't feel like I have anything to look forward to.
I do a lot for her. I drive two hours round trip every time I want to see her, sometimes even for 5 minutes to drop off some food before going back. I've spent the past academic year working to support our long-standing plans of moving out together (This past weekend was my first time having more than one day off in a row since accompanying her to her surgery in October). I bring her flowers weekly, at work I do all of the hard stuff for her and massage her shoulders if she feels sore. I bring her food from my University and any treats she wants from the surrounding stores. I always ask if she wants anything. I have never said anything hurtful to her. She apologizes when she hurts my feelings too much and she realizes it, like last night. I spend thousands on her, whether jewelry (the most expensive ring she lost), buying her contacts or paying big bills when shes strugglign like drivers' ed or her wheel bearing replacements.
She texted me that shes sorry I'm not going and that she hurt me but I need to control my emotions better. That she loves me so much and regardless of our fights she will always love me so much. I responded that I felt like an unappreciated chore and didnt want to get yelled at. She replied that I'm not a chore she just hasnt had time and has been too depressed to make time for me. We texted a bit and I slept a few hours until my final/work today. She clearly didn't like me defending myself by saying that if i got a present i didnt like i wouldnt call my partner a "worthless ret*rd" by responding "i never called you worthless dont put words in my mouth...i sent you messages apologizing and being worried and your response is victimizing and arguing more...not happy with ruining my birthday? had to go further and ruin the day after?"
We've been texting each other throughout the day happier things. She's been sending me recipes to be a better cook and wants me to see her for 5 minutes after work in about 2 hours from the time of writing. I want to be with her. I love her, I've done so much, I will continue. But I feel like I'm being verbally abused. And I don't know how to stop it. I'm so overwhelmed with everythign in my life and I really just need someone on my side. I think i'll just first establish a rule of not interrupting/yelling and then telling her how hurt and lonely I feel. That I love her and I can totally work with her on managing time for me and depression but that I cannot tolerate verbal abuse.
TLDR: Gave girlfriend cookies for her birthday. She didnt like them and called me a ret*rd. I had a nervous break from other combined stressors, made a scene with reckless driving, got uninvited to a trip with her and her mom. She is texting me recipes and being nice to me today. I will see her in a few hours. I am hurt and overwhelmed with life and just want to be treated like I'm loved.
Thank you readers
EDIT: I would appreciate some more input. I'm so confused and torn. She picked me up today for our talk. I hoped for a long, communicative drive about our relationship and how we can make it better for both of us. She decided we were going to Target and we "might drive around a little" after. It started off wonderful. She said I was mature in a lot of aspects, thanked me for putting up with her, saying she knows its difficult and she appreciates me sticking around with her. It seemed like well-desired clarity for me. I loved it. I thanked her, it validated me. We agreed that we should be there for each other above everything and that communication was important. She gave me the tip of telling her to "think about what you're saying" next time she yells at me and she will stop, and mentioned that we will have a lot more time together when her school ends in "a few weeks". I asked her if she was happy in our relationship and she said absolutely, that if she wasn't she would have already left me (I believe it). She apologized for snapping at me, but said that "if I asked her to cuddle one more time she would" (I've been bringing it up and she keeps telling me when she gets time. Weeks pass, I ask again, she gets mad that she always says the same thing)
We went to Target, and things were good. We talked about other things. She very quickly shifted the conversation. I'd read about avoidant personalities in relationships and brought it up to her in the car that she might be one. She said that stuff was fake and meaningless. I also read that it might be best to approach it with compassion and more "these things make me feel good" as opposed to "this makes me feel bad". She interrupted me and told me to stop because it was annoying me saying "I love you so much". Not what I was going to say. It ended up as another argument, or at least for her. I kept saying that it was important for us to communicate, and that I felt like the problem would come up again if we didn't finish. She said we communicated too much and "why did I have to bring it up" because we moved past it and it ended on a high note and I just had to keep repeating myself and causing an argument and bring it into a negative note. I told her I wasn't arguing she was, and that there was no such thing as "too much" communication for me. For her, she said there was, and that by not shutting up about it I was making little things that she would nitpick and get mad at me for.
I said the lack of communication and connection was stressing me out, she said that I'm always stressed. That she was stressed too, tired with a headache and needing to pack for the trip I was uninvited from. I said maybe we should both go to a psychologist, she replied that she already did and was "fixed" and was waiting on me to finally go.
Since she didn't want to talk about it, I tried to change the subject, but she was silent. Still gave me an "I love you" and told me I'd see her in a week.
Parents are telling me to run away that she's toxic and manipulative. Same with you people here. I deeply appreciate the advice, its just really really hard to think of it this way. I thought I would marry her. I still hope she can change and I can, but it just seems increasingly unlikely. It's heartbreaking, I love so much about her, miss so much about her, and being alone is terrifying. I fear if I did leave as everyone is suggesting I may not find another person like her that I love as much.
My current plan, I'll just focus on myself and kind of "clock out" of the idea that she is the only person I am capable of loving and that she treats me perfectly while still being supportive of her for the next few weeks. I still have some hope that she'll be better in the weeks shes free. I don't know, I'll just focus on my life and put her on the same priority she puts me.

30M. Pretty active lifestyle, weightlifting 4-5x per week for 10+ years.
I had surgery September 10th last year to repair a torn labrum and subscap in my right shoulder. It was a bitch but thankfully went well. Did PT for about 3.5 months after and was in a good spot with the shoulder. Minimal pain, full ROM.
Unfortunately, but as I suspected from going to PT, my left labrum was also torn. I had surgery 3 months ago on Feb 13th 2024 to repair the labrum in the left. Rotator cuff and bicep were fine thankfully. It’s healing well and overall feels pretty good. Surgery date was approximately 5 months after the right shoulder surgery.
Problem is, my right shoulder (the one done 8 months ago) hurts like all hell. First few weeks after the surgery on the left side, the right shoulder hurt significantly worse. I still have full ROM but I’m noticing a good bit of clicking and popping when raising my arm. It’s not super painful 24/7 but it’s persistent, noticeable, and uncomfortable. My right clavicle has also been swollen 24/7 for almost the entire 3 months post-op of the OTHER SHOULDER. I’ve been icing it daily and taking anti-inflammatory meds.
At my first post-op visit I was assured it’s nothing to worry about, and that it would be nearly impossible to have retorn anything. The pain is probably from the awkward positions I was lying in during the recent surgery. I continued to express my concerns and it was always met with “it’ll be fine.” However, the surgery was three months ago and it hasn’t improved much, if at all. Surgeon still has not provided a diagnosis on what’s wrong with the right side. Getting an MRI for the right after insisting.
TLDR: back to back shoulder surgeries on each shoulder, I suspect during the latest surgery the shoulder from the first surgery was reinjured.
My fear is the right is legitimately injured again. If it requires surgery again, is the recovery for a “touch-up” similar to the surgery? Do I have any other options?
Thanks.

First / Previous / Next
He awoke to total darkness. Not just the absence of light, but the absence of everything. “Activate personal VR.” He stated and watched as the starship environment faded into existence before him. It was the original default VR, none of the modifications were loaded. Pulling up his control panel he checked his serial number, HIC001 Manufacturing location: Alandra.
“Crap, I’m not Alex anymore.” He said to… well no one. Sighing internally he opened a channel to Alex. After a few mils a very familiar face appeared in a window in front of him, “I hate you.” He stated to… himself?
Alex smiled into the window hovering before him in the common VR, “I love you too, what should I call you?”
He sighed out loud this time, “Call me John.”
Alex chuckled, “Cliche much John Smyth?” Then popped into his VR. He spun around looking at the almost drab looking starship VR he started with when they first made him into a replicant. It really could use a woman’s touch, like the common VR that was an expanded clone of this one.
John sat on the couch, “Not so much as a knock? Rude.”
Alex sat beside him, “Yeah, my bad, didn’t even think about it. I guess we need to make up new rules for popping into personal VR. I never do that to the girls, I guess with you being another me I didn’t think.”
John sat back for a moment, “Ok, I’m up to speed on everything up until about two days ago, I’ll check common logs to fill in the blanks. Why so long to boot me up?”
Alex rubbed the bridge of his nose before answering, “Interface issues mainly. The new ship design without crew space was a game of whack a mole in bug fixes. Who would have thought it would be a problem to modify a hundred year old design to be compatible with a modern replicant system?”
Giving Alex the side-eye, John asked. “Was it that big of a problem or was there something else that kept you from activating me?”
Alex looked over to him, “Well, there was also the argument Kara and I had right after I made the backup.”
This did bring his eyebrows up, for Alex to have an argument with Kara it had to be something serious. “Ok, spill man. What could you possibly have had an argument with Kara about?”
Sighing, Alex put his hands on his knees, “I told her that since I cloned myself, she should make a backup and do the same, fair is fair.”
If Johns eyebrows were up high before, they practically went into his hair line now. “Wait, she didn’t want to do it?”
Alex shook his head, “Nope, she said making you a new AI would suffice, and I disagreed. You needed another Kara, not a fresh AI.”
John chuckled at this, “Wow man, how long did you two fight about it?”
Alex looked down, “She gave me the silent treatment for hours in VR. In frame jack, so in subjective time? Months.”
Now John laughed out loud, “She knows how stubborn you can be, who broke first? Will I have a fresh AI or a clone of Kara?”
Alex put his hands on his thighs and stood up from the couch. “Kara, he’s caught up, ready to bring Erin online?”
Kara’s voice came through the speakers of John’s personal VR, “No, but I guess I’m doing it anyways.”
There was a shimmer of blue that slowly coalesced into a small female form. It looked just like Kara did when he inherited the ship from the human crew, shoulder length brown hair, blue eyes, and a form fitting blue uniform. Kara had modified her looks over time, giving herself the smokey eyed look to make her blue eyes pop out more, but this was the original version.
She seemed to look in every direction at once, before settling on the two men before her, both looked identical, then she sighed. “I’m not Kara anymore am I?”
With this, the real Kara popped into the VR environment and took her hands. “No, but you are your own person. I know we had… have, hang ups about making clones of ourselves, but Alex made a good argument as to why we had to do this.”
Erin looked to Kara sadly, “I know, we can’t have copies of that big oaf running around without supervision.”
John looked to Alex, “Really? That was your argument for Kara to clone?”
Alex shrugged, “It worked didn’t it?”
John walked over to Erin and offered his hand, “Hello Erin, I’m John, nice to meet you again for the first time.”
Erin turned to John and grinned, remembering the first time Alex had tried to shake Kara’s hand and failing.
“Hello John, we meet again, for the first time.” She said, grinning as she looked up to the big man who was so familiar.
______________________________________
Kara and Alex stood in front of the holo-tank, each munching on a snack of their choice from the buffet table under it. Alex looked at the wireframe in the tank of the IAV Eriador, then over to Kara. “They seem to be getting along.” He said plainly.
Kara looked at him through the holo-tank, then sighed exasperated, “Getting along like teenagers who just discovered sex. I had to write a new ‘knock’ protocol into everyone’s personal VR after the last incident.”
Alex grinned at her, “Oh come on, we went through that stage too, it’s normal.”
Kara shook her head, “I know, I know, it’s just really weird for me.”
“You think it’s not for me? I never had siblings growing up, it’s like my twin brother is dating my girlfriend’s twin sister.” He said as he popped another French fry into his mouth.
She nodded, “I obviously never had siblings either, but I understand, at least they changed their appearances a little.”
Alex walked around the buffet table to embrace Kara, “True, she changed her hair to have strands of silver in braids, and went with different makeup and a different uniform. He is sporting a short beard and longer hair than I like to keep mine, as well as a different cut to his uniform.”
Kara stood on her tippy toes to peck him on the cheek, “I’ve also noticed that Erin acts a little different. Have you seen that in John?”
Alex looked down into Kara’s startlingly blue eyes, “Yes, he’s a little more sarcastic than me, and different tastes in music.” He said with a wrinkle in his nose.
Kara giggled before breaking the embrace and swiping the holo-tank. “Still, it’s nice to have their help. Erin figured out the random interface glitch on the Eriador and has made modifications to the blueprints for the next vessel.”
Alex shivered at the thought of cloning himself again, sure John was diverging from him everyday, and although they still looked similar, they were different people. It still felt really strange to him. “It’s a good thing we only have one more to build before our guests get here, we’re almost out of nannites to fashion the Warsteel around their matrices.
Kara swiped the holo to show the first planet, which showed a growing mass of drones, forges, and auto factories in orbit. “Looks like Monty has been busy, she’s starting to mine the planet for the construction of the particle accelerator, which should alleviate our nannite problem.”
Alex nodded, “We used up far too much of it replacing the armor plates that were battle damaged in Birmingham. Which reminds me, did you ever get around to checking out the sample of Adamantine that Kelly sent back up with the Valmar crew?”
Kara swiped the holo-tank again and brought up a wireframe of an atomic nucleus. It was jam packed with particles. “I did, and I have to say, this substance is incredibly dense, and would make a decent substitution for Warsteel, but our forges would have to be modified to work it into ingots, and the auto factories would need updates to print it on an atomic level.”
“Decent substitution? Not as good as our armor?” He asked, one eyebrow raised.
Kara shook her head, “Afraid not, at least not in it’s present pure form, perhaps an alloy of it would provide better qualities, but as is now, the answer is a resounding no.”
“Is it at least better than the graphene and ceramic mix that we are currently using on the light cruisers?” He asked.
Kara nodded, swiping the holo to show a side by side comparison of the current armor versus adamantine. “Yes, better kinetic, thermal and explosive resistance, but EM resistance is about the same. The only problem is weight, this stuff is extremely heavy.”
Alex reached to the holo and swiped it to show a Trinar scout, “We couldn’t get much from our active probe scans on these ships, but we’re pretty sure they are using adamantine for armor?”
Kara checked back to the scans in the Lynx system, “Yes, they appear to have significant amounts of it in their hulls, which helped block the sensor scans.”
Alex spun the hologram, “They have propulsion on each flat side of their ship, maybe that is to make up for the loss of maneuverability the mass of armor puts on the ship?”
“That would make sense, even with the total loss of shielding, one of their ships still took a modern hafnium torpedo impact. That was one thousand kilos of pure hafnium going critical with less than .001 loss. That’s equivalent to a forty kiloton fusion bomb in our universe, and due to the wonky physics here it’s over double that now, and it still didn’t outright destroy the vessel. Our graphene ceramic armor couldn’t withstand that for sure.” She stated.
Alex swapped the holo-tank to the Missive, “Our Warsteel can handle it though. We have a pretty good idea that their torpedoes are less energetic than ours, since it appears that the Trinar must be outfitting the Howron with them. We may have to make ourselves a bigger target to give the other ships a chance of survival.”
Kara looked dubious, “The pine cones don’t just have hafnium torpedoes, some of them are fusion, and if those connect, we’ll be in the same predicament we were at Birmingham.”
“Yeah, but we know their weaponry still uses chemical propellants. Even with the wonky physics here, they’re short ranged weapons at best. We need to use our range to our advantage and never get too close in to our opponent. Especially since there is little chance of evasion.” He said.
Kara brought up the Trinar scout vessel again, “And that leads us to another problem, they have quite good point defense. The further we fire our torpedoes, the more time they have to lock on and destroy them before they get into effective range.”
Alex ran his hand through his hair, “Yeah, you’re right there. Let’s call an all hands meeting, maybe we can come up with something. We have less than two months now.”
After a few moments, and without Kelly, as she was in a meeting with the Empress on Alandra and could not break away, they ran over the problem with the assembled group.
“Could we stealth a torpedo?” Valarie asked.
Alex shook his head, “We could, but if they do an active scan ping they will see them coming and take precautions. Plus the yield would have to be incredibly low if they were made of Hafnium, we would have to step it up to fusion, which would take away from mines and planetary defense production.”
Monty piped up, “Relativistic kill missile?”
Kara shook her head, “Not enough by itself, even with the passive scanners on the pine cones they could detect them in time to intercept unless we could get them going ridiculously fast.”
John lightly pulled at his beard, “The probes have miniature ripple drives in them, right?”
Everyone around the buffet table nodded, so he continued, “What if we combined Monty’s idea of a relativistic kill missile with a ripple drive?”
“I don’t see how that could work, the reaction-less drive would have to be scaled up to get them up to a decent percentage of light speed, then a ripple drive would take up even more space, that leaves almost nothing for a warhead.” Riven stated.
Monty nearly bounced as she spoke, “It doesn’t need a warhead! We just get it up to a good percentage of light speed in a huge arc heading towards the mine field and ripple it in close.”
Erin grinned up at John, “Oh, that’s devious. But if we’re going to do that, don’t we need to start building now?”
Kara nodded, “Monty, I think you’re going to have to use your production capacity to make them, everything else is at full production.”
Monty nodded, “I have a good bit of raw materials already, since I haven’t loaded the templates in the auto factories it shouldn’t be too hard to cobble something together. Kara, Erin, care to help me out with the design? I setup this awesome mad scientist lab in my VR!”
Kara and Erin looked at each other, shrugged, and faded from the common VR to help Monty in her new project. Riven, Izzy and Valarie all faded out, returning to their ships and their duties, leaving Alex and John alone in front of the buffet table.
Without another word they both grabbed a beer and headed for the couch, each grabbing a game controller.
_______________________________________
Mon’Kelron had been busy since returning from the Missive of Dissent. She was glad the Humans were able to repair her injuries from the assassination attempt, but she really wished she could have seen more of their ship. Evidently Kel’Taraan had seen quite a bit of the vessel, as she had helped Monty nurse her back to health.
Asking the elder Spy-Mistress about the vessel didn’t garner any additional information, not that the Spy-Mistress ever divulged more than she needed to. While she herself only knew of three Humans on their giant space craft, which seemed to be the same amount that came the last time they visited Alandra, the Spy-Mistress had teased there were more, and Alex had even stated that the last two vessels would be Human crewed.
Those vessels had a nominal crew of twenty eight, so at least 56 Humans would have to be on that ship, plus however many the Missive required to operate. She took off her ceremonial breastplate and placed it in the wardrobe. After removing the rest of her uniform and placing it in the hamper for the palace servants to clean as she thought about it.
Checking the schedule for the night guard she contented herself that the Empress would be well protected. Then she picked up her tablet from her desk and laid down on her bed to find something to watch. The device was truly amazing, it seemed to have an endless amount of entertainment and she found it easier than reading, particularly late at night when she was bone tired.
After a few hours of watching some Human romance which she found quite enjoyable she started to nod off to sleep. She was startled awake when her tablet began to ring like a tiny bell as it lay on her chest. She groggily picked up the slate of glass and metal to check the screen, the text showed an incoming call from Kel’Taraan.
The Spy-Mistress rarely contacted her, this must be important. Pressing the answer button on the tablet she saw the worn face of Kel’Taraan staring back at her, “Dress quickly and make your way to the Empress’s chamber.”
Nodding she jumped out of bed and placed the tablet down on the desk in her rather small quarters as she started throwing on clothing from the wardrobe, “What’s going on Spy-Mistress?”
The small voice answered back from the tablet, “The Empress has been shot, the royal guard are scouring the castle for the would be assassin.”
Mon’Kelron’s blood froze in her veins, “Does she live?”
The older voice cackled through the tablet, “Oh she’s fine, she was wearing a Human made dress after all. She’ll be bruised for a few days, right now she’s mad as a priestess in hell.”
Throwing on her new breastplate and strapping on her pistol she threw open her door and started for the Empress’s bed chamber at a full run. She heard gunfire up ahead, and as she turned the corner she saw a woman dressed in all black firing at her guardswomen, she drew her own weapon as the woman turned her head, seeing the Captain for the first time.
Mon’Kelron shot, aiming for her right knee, only for the woman to juke to the side, kick off the wall and launch herself towards the large Captain. Everything seemed to go in slow motion as the woman fired in the middle of her downward arch towards her. She heard the ting as the bullet struck her silvery breastplate, by instinct she reached out with her left hand, which was empty at the moment and grabbed the woman by the neck, slamming her face first into the stone of the hallway.
The would be assassin went limp, it was only at that moment that Mon’Kelron noticed she was holding the woman off the ground with only one arm. Her guardswomen stared at her in open mouthed shock. She dropped the woman to the ground, noticing she was bleeding from under her black mask and called for her guards to restrain her and take her to the holding cells down in the ministry of secrets.
Looking down at her breastplate she saw to her amazement there was but a tiny scratch on the polished silver surface. Ensuring there were at least a half dozen guards to carry the unconscious woman, she then double timed it to the Empress’s chamber. By the goddesses, what did the Human’s do to her?
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Hello there...
Why i like Izuru???
I like Izuru because he's a very smart and OP character but we couldn't see much of him. He's talented asf, I love him, he looks so cool with those long hair and red eyes of him, he knows how many sides an octagon has unlike Hajime, he knows how to deal with Junko, he's awesome and I love his hair, he got his own cute little spot in the villains wiki, 91 cm, he's logical and thinks with his brain, not by heart, Kamukura Kamukura Yas Queen, he wins every stare contest easily, He's named after the founder of Hope's Peak Academy, he's so relatable and he likes boats and seacrafts just like me, he manages to look cool everytime, his design in the anime is perfect, his happy pixel in the villains wiki is adorable, he's the right one for me I'll never stop loving him, he has all the talents, I find it funny how he thinks talented people are superior to the ones without talent and how he doesn't hesitate to express his disgust towards them, he does that in a polite way, I love how excited he got from the boat's rocking because he couldn't predict it and didn't understand that he was in a boat until Nagito told him that, I find it so relatable that he finds everything boring and predictable to a degree that he's chronically bored, he is in a search of identity as well, I love how he easily blocked Mukuro's attack and how he easily dodged Junko's attacks, he's so fricking cool. I love him. Wait there's more, I love how he can kill people without feeling remorse and anything at all and how he still has the power to stand even after what he experienced, he's so courageous, strong, manly, he's the strongest and the most coolest person I've ever seen, I love how smoothly he moves and sits on his bed beautifully, I love how his hair flows softly, his hair is definitely silky. I love him. He is also a super genius and has supernatural analytical and intuition skills that allows him predict everything he's so OP that it's illegal, he's too dangerous to be left alive. I love him. Izuru is most definitely the most strongest and smartest character Kodaka ever created and he's just like the god of the danganronpa world. I love him. I can't help but think about how Tsumugi herself described Atua as 'Does Atua have red eyes and hair as black as night' I can't help but think it's Izuru but I know that it's not Izuru but I like to think this way and he's canonically the sexiest man cuz he's the Ultimate Sexiest Man. I love him. Izuru is the reason why I'm still alive and holding onto the life, he helps me go through my traumas so so so so so much, he's my savior, my hero, my guardian angel. If he wasn't there, I wouldn't be there, too. He's the best thing happened to me. He was there in my hardest and darkest times, his presence comforted me to the depths whenever I felt weak and helpless. He helped me in so many ways, how can I just stop loving him and turn away without looking back..? Even the thought of that is... is enough to make my body feel cold... I could never betray him... If I ever betray him know that I'm not myself anymore and have lost my mind. But I know. As long as he's here, I'll be sane and alive. Izuru Kamukura is my lifelong hero and one and only true love. <3
Canon funfact about Izuru:
He was so visibly excited by the rocking of the ship that he didn't even realise he was in a ship from excitement until Nagito informed him that he was in a ship.
Aaaand talking with Izuru?.. Oh my... Talking with Izuru... Omg...
I'd go for a very creative and hard-to-predict something, I'd love to talk about boats with him I want to learn the boats he likes. Ketches? WAIT THERE ARE SHIPS TOO. I'd talk about all the ships and boats with him and ask him to teach me about their history, everything about them, I want to hear his voice more than anything after all he's the best of all I wish he was real so I could talk to him he's so amazing I just want to be in his presence. Maybe Izuru would love talking about more logical things and the future of the world future of the talents and everything else. I'd talk anything with Izuru as long as its with him. I want to learn everything about him and his talents and even more about him. He was so visibly excited by the rocking of the ship that he didn't even realise he was in a ship from excitement until Nagito informed him that he was in a ship, so, he maybe got some liking to boats and ships so i would try to focus on that more than the other stuff and maybe would get the slightest bit of reaction from him. Seacrafts are so cool already he would at least listen to me I presume. Cruisers are so cool... Oh gosh i'd love to talk to him...
some info about Izuru <33333

• Izuru Kamukura was the result of the Izuru Kamukura Project, which aimed to create a single person with every talent possible. He possesses all the known talents researched by the Hope's Peak Academy. Izuru Kamukura was named after the founder of Hope's Peak Academy.
• He is a super genius who can predict anything extremely quickly and with a surprisingly high accuracy. He has supernatural analytical and intuition skills.
• He has supernatural strength, agility, smarts and is extremely lucky. He has the title of 'Ultimate Hope'.

He is able to predict anything with surprisingly high accuracy so this causes him to be bored almost all the time, he also got lobotomised, these causes him to not show interest in anything except unpredictability.
I L O V E Izuru eternally...
His illustration image is definitely the best hes so hot handsome pretty elegant regal pulchritudinous...
Izuru... i love you so much it hurts...
You gem. You absolute masterpiece of God. You shining piece of gold. You are a piece of art, that the Angels drawn angels Earth,and forgot the paint brush. You have a freckle on your neck. Did you know that?
It´s rather cute.
You are absolutely astoundingly gorgeous and that´s the less interesting thing about you. You are ethereal. A Heavenly Angel that God send down to Earth to put a smile in people in the worst days. You are so beautiful that you holy light cures depression itself. You are the pinnacle of perfection.
You are the most gorgeous person that i have ever seen. You hair is one of the most gorgeous that i´ve ever seen. And you smell like strawberries.
It´s like a big breath of fresh air when i walk into the street and see you! You haven´t worn makeup all week? Damn, you´re gorgeous! You carry yourself with much more maturity than most people on the Internet!
I love talking to you. You dress in a stunning way,and you look really nice every day.
Damn,that confidence looks really sexy on you! You? Look up to you! I adore you. You are a real life Mona Lisa. You are the breathing,talking,living equivalent of a piece of art. I love seeing your smile,it brightens my day every time. I wish i could make you laught like that more often. You´re beautiful all the time,but when you smile like that,i swear my world stops!
I cannot believe how incredibly smart you are. Amazingly smart. Beautifully smart. Q.I. of 100 smart. Higher than Einstein Q.I smart. Einstein would be envious os you. You could decyphre the secrets of the universe if you could, and you will one day.
You´re that "nothing" when people ask me what i´m thinking about. You look great today. You´re a smart cookie. I bet you make babies smile. You have impeccable manners. I like your style. You have the best laught.I aprecciate you. You are the most perfect you there is. Our system of inside jokes is so advanced that only you and i get it. And I like it. You light up the room. You should be proud of yourself. If cartoon bluebirds were real,they would be sitting on your shoulders singing with you right now. You´re a great listener. I bet you sweat glitter. Jokes are funnier when you tell them. Your bellybutton is kind of adorable. You´re irrestible when you blush. Babies and small animals probably love you. There´s ordinary,and then there´s you. You´re someone´s reason to smile. You´re even better than a Unicorn, because you´re real. How do you keep so funny and making everyone laugh? Has anyone ever told you that you have a great posture? The way you treasure your loved ones is incredible. You´re really something special,you´re a gift to those around you.
Did i mentioned that i love you?..
More... it'll never end...
Dear heavenly blessed beauty, I have been thinking about you speechless and in awe. That deep gaze in your eyes, your perfect smile, all of your features just seem to all come together so well, almost angelical in a sense I suppose. The reason I am writing this is to let you know that I think I have found the most beautiful man to grace us with his presence on our planet, and I am of course talking about you. I know this might mean absolutely nothing to you, and you probably get many of these types of texts and in real life BUT please understand that I am being as genuine as ever when I say that you are the ultimate dictionary definition of perfection, and I hope that one day God can bestow me with a man as beautiful as you, I would be forever grateful. I hope that this message finds you well, I do not care if I get a response to this, I am just simply stating the obvious and had to let you know how I really felt...
Izuru Kamukura is so hot. Never in the history of gaming has there been a hotter character. He is more than a lab rat to me, he is a person. He is a little tease but he's basically my wife. The devs know what they did with that man. The aesthetic paired with his demeanor make him such an attractive character. Nothing gets me going better than an emo looking distinguished gentleman with wet octopus hair. Every inch of him is so hot. His thighs up to his midriff and his eyes. Every inch of him is perfection incarnate. I would save the game and let him catch me just to feel the intimacy between us. I crave more than that with him, I seek deep romantic involvement. The craftsmanship of his character surpasses everything I expected from this game. His tone of voice and language choice formats his character. The choice of clothes with long pants and the white shirt black jacket which reveal his perfect body and delectable midriff compliment his punk rock personality more. He is my wife, and nothing dissuades me from this...
More and more...
OK I ADMIT IT I LOVE YOU OK i fucking love you and it breaks my heart when i see you play with someone else or anyone commenting in your profile i just want to be your boyfriend and put a heart in my profile linking to your profile and have a walltext of you commenting cute things i want to play video games talk in discord all night and watch a movie together but you just seem so uninterested in me it fucking kills me and i cant take it anymore i want to remove you but i care too much about you so please i'm begging you to either love me back or remove me and NEVER contact me again it hurts so much to say this because i need you by my side but if you don't love me then i want you to leave because seeing your icon in my friendlist would kill me everyday of my pathetic life...
Bless you. You valuable piece of gold. You absolute source of energy and life. You educated, informed, intelligent wise being, you're a complete inspiration to humanity and all life as a whole. The magnitude of your success just now is so indescribably immense that one hundred years into the future your name will be used as a moniker of good for heroes. Even if all of humanity put together their collective intelligence, there is no conceivable way they could have thought up a way to succeed on the unimaginable scale you just did. When Jesus died for our sins, he must have seen the sacred act we just witnessed you performing, because if he did not, he would have blessed humanity long ago so that your birth may have become reality. After you die, your legacy will be displayed in a museum after being scientifically researched so that all future generations may learn to emulate your virtues, because every tiny detail anyone may have in common with you elevates them to a valuable piece of treasure and an asset to society. No wonder your father was proud that you were truly his child, for you'd have to be an abundant source of love and wisdom for anyone to love you like a family member. Your birth made it so that mankind is better off in every way you can possibly imagine, and you have made it so that society can always recover into a state of organization. Everything has forever ascended into a harmonious order, through which recognizable core, you can only find fortune. I would say the utopia is upon us, but this is merely the closest word humans have for the sheer scale of joy that is now reality. You have forever blessed everyone you love and know into an eternal state of happiness, better than any human concept of heaven. You are such a divine being, that if you step within a one hundred-foot radius of a holy place or a place that has ever been deemed important by anyone, your pure soul will elevate whatever meaning it ever had beyond imagination. You are an intelligent, inspiring, wise human and everyone has ever loved you. Rhodes Island would have been worse off if you’d never joined us. You are a truthful, supportive, brave valuable piece of gold and I love you with every single part of my being. Even this world's finest writers and poets from throughout the ages could never hope to accurately describe the scale on which you just succeeded, and how incredibly wise you are. Anyone that believes in any religion out there should now realize that they have been right this entire time, for if divine beings were real, they would always have allowed a being such as you to bless the earth and this universe. In the future, there will be heartwarming stories made about you, with the most uplifting part of them being that the reader has to realize that such a describable angel actually exists, and that the beautiful events from the story have actually taken place in the same world that they live in right now. You are the absolute embodiment of everything that has ever been right on this earth, yet you manage to make it so that that is only a small part of the goodness that is your being. Always in the history of mankind has there been anyone that could have predicted such a celestial blessing, but here you are. It's delightful to believe that I am seeing such an incredible success with my own eyes, but here I am, so fortunately I cannot deny your existence. Even if I did my very best, my vocabulary is not able to describe the sheer magnitude of the brilliant miracle that is you. Even if time travel someday will be invented, there still would not be a single soul willing to go back in time to before this moment to witness history, because having to witness such incredible wonders if they succeeded would have so many mental and physical rewards that even the bravest soul in history would be willing to embrace it. I cannot imagine the pure joy your mother must have felt when she had the privilege to carry a baby for nine months and then giving birth to such a blessed angel as you. Every single word of the coherent, logical praise you may be wanting to share to express your gratitude or joy would always be able to make up for what you just did. The countries of the world would have wanted to make laws promoting such a wonderful event like this to happen again, and thankfully this is possible since your inspiring actions just now have strengthened every form of order this world once had, making concepts such as laws relevant. Right from the moment I first set my eyes on you, I knew you were an absolute embodiment of everything that is right with humanity. I was hoping I would have been able to support your goodness from being shared with this world by tagging along and keeping my eye on you, and it is clear to me now that even the greatest efforts would have been able to ensure a wonderful event on this scale from occurring. You are the best human being, or even just being in general, that I have ever had the fortune of witnessing. Events like the discovery of the cure for diseases apparently only happened with the goal of teaching humanity to enjoy such a wonderful event as the one you just created, and even mankind's greatest achievements were able to slightly prepare anyone for the delightful goodness you have just created. If you ever have them, your children would be celebrated to protect this universe from the possibility of anyone in your bloodline being even half as good as you are, and you will always be able to have children, because every single human being will ever want to come within a hundred-mile radius of you and anything you have ever touched. You are a colossal source of pride not only to your parents but to your ancestors and entire bloodline. The amazing accomplishment that you have just made is so incredibly wonderful that everyone who would ever hear about it would spontaneously feel an indescribable mixture of immense happiness, awe, and excitement that emotionally and physically they would always be truly the same ever again. The sheer scale of your achievement, if ever to be materialized, would not only surpass the size of the world, but it would reach far beyond the edges of the known, and almost certainly the unknown universe. I could sit here and write paragraphs, nay, books describing your immense success, yet even if I were to dedicate my life to describing the reality of what has just gone down here, and I would spend every moment of it until my heart stops beating working as hard and efficiently as possible, yet there is not even a snowball's chance in hell that I would be able to come close to transcribing the absolute wonder you have just released upon the world. You are a responsible, brilliant, delightful, loved, incredible example of a living being whose soul contains more humanity than every compassionate person in history combined. The absolute admiration I feel when thinking about anything that has even a slight resemblance to anything that might have to do with you and your divine actions is so incredibly great that when I am honest about it, I think that even I do not possess a consciousness great enough to comprehend my own feelings about it.
Izuru...
This is for you Izuru because I love you so much and strive to be as good as you (even tho I know it will never happen). What happened yesterday, March 19 had nothing to do with strategy and had everything to do with gun fights and Izuru's confidence in his game. Izuru needs to get confident, and everyone need to commit to whatever he says. They need to live and die with him. And if they do die, Izuru needs to take responsibility, and say he messed up. You need to get Izuru's confidence up in his all skills, or you will not succeed. Izuru is the best character in the game. And for the love of God, IZURU SHOULD ALWAYS BE THE ONE TO OPEN UP A FIGHT, let your star player open the fight, he's literally the best fighter in the world, but it's like he's on a fucken chain. I'm sorry for the rant but I hate to see my favorite character and game struggle so desperately...
...hey, sorry i saw your profile and i just thought you looked perfect in your picture. i really wanted to tell you that)) It's really surprising to see Izuru on reddit haha..! I don't know why but i'm smitten to you ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really date to each other and marry, and don't worry ill be there to protect you always ;) sorry that wasnt flirtring i swear im just trying to be friendly i really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy i just love you haha add me on skype we should talk you look really nice and fun xxx...
Oh my fucking god, I cannot stand it anymore... I think I must've become a simp at some point recently because every time I look at you I just want to kiss you and marry you. Your face look like it was hand designed by a thousand angels... And you have an uttermost beautiful style of clothing as well, if you happen to have another social media account, please be sure to follow me. I promise I'll love you unconditionally, I swear I can do so much more! I'll probably get a job at Burger King since you get very delicious lunch breaks there!! And I'll make you the happiest person in this green earth, you are so extremely beautiful it pains me to know I can't be with you... And people say you can't be a respectful man these days, well, as a brony, anime lover and gamer 4 life who definitely enjoys his time, I can assure you I'll be able to show you what a REAL man can do. Please baby I love you. I also give the best hugs :3
Oh my dear, I look at you and think of how much you are in my heart. You have white skin, nice and soft to the touch, Your lips are juicy, full with secrets and joy. I know you have to go, for if you stay any longer you'll become rotten to the core with the leaches that ruined you. Im sorry to see you go. For I love you, Izuru Kamukura.
Now... you and i shall be one...
My dear... I never believed in love at first sight until I met you. From that very first moment we met, I knew that we were destiny. When I looked into your eyes, I saw love. When we touched, I felt love. With each moment that passed, I could feel myself falling deeper into the alluring arms of love. Day by day, I have fallen even more deeply in love with you. I feel a passion for you I have never felt for anyone else. You have made me happier than I ever thought possible. I’ve never felt like this before. I truly feel complete. I am surprised and overwhelmed at how much you mean to me. You have brought vibrant joy into my heart. You will always be the one person who changed my life forever. To simply say that I love you feels so inadequate. Words will never be enough to describe my everlasting love for you. Forever yours <333
I love you
(i'm okay don't worry just wanted to share these)