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2024.05.29 05:27 Positive-Light-7032 AITA/ Bridezilla - For standing up for my happiness n not allowing my siblings/ family and friends ruin our day.
Please bare with me as this will be a long one, it's my first ever post on reddit.
TW of child loss.
I (32f) my FH (35m) are getting married august this year. We live in Australia in a different state to both sides of our family. As we thought instead of picking between the two states we are from, we will have it where we are now.
History as I know all you lot love the background stories. We met in 2019, through tinder(in the state we currently both are atm). It was love at first sight for me. I already had a son who in 2019 was 8yo. My son adorned my partner, he would talk about future siblings and us getting married. Which led my partner n I picking wedding songs and talking about marriage. In 2021 my partner n I were a bit rocky. But my world came crashing apart when I got a phone call my son passed in a car crash. I flew back to my home state and well as you can imagine I was a mess. My family which I hadn't spoken to in 4 years due to being accused for something I did not do. They found out I didn't. But long story short I was in the head space to nit pick. My sons funeral happened and well I just got left by all my siblings to do the clean up my self while they went to the after do. I missed it. I'm only one person and I got blamed and made to feel like crap for it. And a lot other shit. In other words three of my siblings are arseholes. If they dont get their way. My sister we'll call her Petal(24), brothers Steve (31) n Bob (27).
My partner n I always stayed in contact but we spilt as he was still in the state we met. His boss wouldn't let him take time off etc. In the beginning 2023 I came back to the state to organise my sons stuff. Realising this man kept everything of his and mine in the same spot. He still looked after my cat n dog after all that time also. We rekindled and both realised the flame was always still there for each other. So by September last year we were ready to move forward with life as short as it is announce to our family's save the dates. Via Txt as we both have huge families, we would save the money this way.
A few weeks go by. I get a phone call from Steve. (Whom I havent spoken to since before coming up here as I had enough of always being cancelled on or never picking up my calls or barely responding to my texts) So I was like why am I getting a call. Turns out I just got questions after questions... well statements 'you never asked me to move' 'mum will be staying with me not you on your wedding' 'im not babysitting joey' youngest brother 12yo we I stated he would be other brother Dale (second youngest 21- they are all my siblings from my mother's side) as they are always together when Dale visits. I just focused on the positive. I knew he was wanting me to bite. Then when I was explaining joey would be walking behind my nieces with my sons photo Steve interrupted when are you getting married and laughed. He then said no, His daughter wasn't going to be wearing a dress she'll be wearing the same as her dad... and laughed. at the beginning of his save the date I put 'Aunty would love niece to be a flower girl if she would like' Remember no contact since this phone call at all. So I thought he was joking as he laughed. He then started repeating she was wearing the same as him. He also asked why would joey be following them and as I was explaining what I was thinking as my son would've wanted his cousins up there with him. I got cut off. I just planned all this and I said no I asked and you never responded. You never said no even when I spoke about the dresses. Apparently I just don't know what no sounds like and I've not changed and she is HIS flower girl for when him and his partner get married. I understand wanting your child to be apart of your wedding.... hence why I was trying to do what I know damn sure my boy would have done - to the point if they weren't in the party he would walk up to them n get them to help throw petal down the isle. I was upset. He rambled on and yelled shit at me and hung up when I said well if you didn't want her being a flower girl you could've just said it straight out.
I am still upset but I'm only upset due to he only brought it up when I was talking about what my son would want. If he had a problem with it why didn't he say it before hand. Later mum(51) found out him n his partner were upset I was getting married before them ( they have been engaged since 2021 and no mention of a wedding date) and they didn't want their daughter being someone else's flower girl before hand. Which again I understand so why not say that instead of starting the shit?
The next day Bob decided to tell me he couldn't come to the wedding as he doesn't know what his life would bring him to be doing then đ¤Śđźââď¸
Anyway I start to move forward with wedding planning . I let a friend know, as i was going to ask her to be a Bm. After saying getting married she bloody laughed so hard like i told the most funniest joke ever.... her daughter came in she is still laughing n said ' can you believe they are getting married' while wiping away tears from her eyes she laughed so hard. So I decided not to mention the bm part. She later started telling me what I should do for colours, who the bms should be, that the best man wears something different to the groomsmen. Etc. It was getting out of hand and everytime I mentioned we had decided what we are doing already is was wrong .... until she decided to make a competition with my unaware mother 'she better wear a dress or ill look better then her. Maybe even you' so I cut her out of my social group, my partner still thinks she was just helping. He needs the fog to clear.
I ask my best friend who I have known since 2017 and who was still there for me through the hard time of my son passing and still is to this day. Kel(43f) to be my MOH. My two sisters Petal n Kay(28f on father's side) as bridesmaids. As iTs tHe rIgHt tHiNg to do đ¤Śđźââď¸ at first I thought petal would flake first. If it's not her way she'll make some sort of version (even if it's LIES) that you did her wrong. I picked the dresses they were more then happy to pay for them. $160 ish each(aus). Well Kay went Mia for a few weeks. Then in January this year asked me if the place accepted afterpay. I said I know they accept Kalana or what ever its called. N then she was busting her arse for me to check.... she had the website I asked if she had her flights and accommodation prebooked. Nothing. As I was going to offer to pay for the dress if she was struggling. So I offered for her to come as a guest. 2 weeks NOT A SINGLE WORD. Not answering my calls or texts that wasn't even about the wedding. Its now Feb. I ask my cousin to be a back BM she was more then happy n as I was on the phone to her Kay said ' im getting a job so it'll be all sorted' now Kay is a sister who will take advantage for other people's hand outs. Where we are the closer to august you leave it your looking at 1600 n back minimum. N the week we are getting married not only with it be tourist session but race day also ( we forgot about race day đ ) After explaining this to her she decided with many more weeks in between she'll not come to the wedding at all.
So then it was my BF, petal and cousin.
Two weeks ago I got asked by my fathers (he is a dead beat) sister if he was invited. Long story short, I'm the child he never wanted. He never met my son at all while he was alive and loves to cause drama when it's not about him. He was a junkie when I first met him. So I politely said sorry no he is not and sorry for putting you in this position.
Just up until last week petal flaked. Family drama was happening and I pulled her up on her lies she had put in a group chat. She hadn't spoken to me since May. She would read the wedding chat but not respond. And I found out she had me on mute. Laste week I messaged her on the group chat, our private chat and text her can you aleast let me know whats going on. She came back with ' im not coming nor will I be in your wedding' I thanked her for letting me know. Went in the group chat for the wedding n she had already removed herself. N I blocked her shortly after my mum called. Mum had asked if I had heard from Petal. I told her what happened. Well, mum Being a mum was like 'ill get to the bottom of this' She asked why are you not part of the wedding anymore. My sister turned n said its not of your business. N then said I blocked her from the chat a while ago and I have not once messaged her n I'm mean. Mum caught her out n said she seen her lil picture keep up with the messaged just today etc. N she just banged on how no one understands her. So I blocked her.
I have now asked for my partners Sister to be a bm and she's more then happy to and I paid for her dress straight away so it should arrive to her before she is due to come up.
I found out in April my son will finally be a older brother like he always wanted. This is a miracle baby as I've had a few health problems with my uterus. To the point doctors said I might not even be able to do IVF. My partner n I are over the moon. I am in a a place where I'm happy and upset because my son is not here to witness what he always wanted. We have only told those that have been supportive, mu mum Dale and joey and my Sil.
All the stress of just my family has taken its toll. We have already paid majority of the wedding off and can't elope. I've lost all happiness for our day. I'm scared my father will rock up (he is spiteful like that) n im just deflated. With the add stress of being now 12weeks pregnant and still worried I could lose it at any point.
I have gotten all their jewellery, personalised pjs since Kay was involved. Personalised gifts and im paying for their hair and make up.
Kel my Moh is ready to go on a witch hunt. She's pissed that I have let it all go on for so long. So I'm trying to see if I am in the right or if I am in the wrong.
Am I being the Arsehole ? Bridezilla? Just feels no matter what happens in my life it's not good enough. If anything needs clearing up please let me know. Sorry for the long post. Thankyou in advance And if anyone has any advice ? Thankyou
submitted by Positive-Light-7032 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
TW of child loss.
I (32f) my FH (35m) are getting married august this year. We live in Australia in a different state to both sides of our family. As we thought instead of picking between the two states we are from, we will have it where we are now.
History as I know all you lot love the background stories. We met in 2019, through tinder(in the state we currently both are atm). It was love at first sight for me. I already had a son who in 2019 was 8yo. My son adorned my partner, he would talk about future siblings and us getting married. Which led my partner n I picking wedding songs and talking about marriage. In 2021 my partner n I were a bit rocky. But my world came crashing apart when I got a phone call my son passed in a car crash. I flew back to my home state and well as you can imagine I was a mess. My family which I hadn't spoken to in 4 years due to being accused for something I did not do. They found out I didn't. But long story short I was in the head space to nit pick. My sons funeral happened and well I just got left by all my siblings to do the clean up my self while they went to the after do. I missed it. I'm only one person and I got blamed and made to feel like crap for it. And a lot other shit. In other words three of my siblings are arseholes. If they dont get their way. My sister we'll call her Petal(24), brothers Steve (31) n Bob (27).
My partner n I always stayed in contact but we spilt as he was still in the state we met. His boss wouldn't let him take time off etc. In the beginning 2023 I came back to the state to organise my sons stuff. Realising this man kept everything of his and mine in the same spot. He still looked after my cat n dog after all that time also. We rekindled and both realised the flame was always still there for each other. So by September last year we were ready to move forward with life as short as it is announce to our family's save the dates. Via Txt as we both have huge families, we would save the money this way.
A few weeks go by. I get a phone call from Steve. (Whom I havent spoken to since before coming up here as I had enough of always being cancelled on or never picking up my calls or barely responding to my texts) So I was like why am I getting a call. Turns out I just got questions after questions... well statements 'you never asked me to move' 'mum will be staying with me not you on your wedding' 'im not babysitting joey' youngest brother 12yo we I stated he would be other brother Dale (second youngest 21- they are all my siblings from my mother's side) as they are always together when Dale visits. I just focused on the positive. I knew he was wanting me to bite. Then when I was explaining joey would be walking behind my nieces with my sons photo Steve interrupted when are you getting married and laughed. He then said no, His daughter wasn't going to be wearing a dress she'll be wearing the same as her dad... and laughed. at the beginning of his save the date I put 'Aunty would love niece to be a flower girl if she would like' Remember no contact since this phone call at all. So I thought he was joking as he laughed. He then started repeating she was wearing the same as him. He also asked why would joey be following them and as I was explaining what I was thinking as my son would've wanted his cousins up there with him. I got cut off. I just planned all this and I said no I asked and you never responded. You never said no even when I spoke about the dresses. Apparently I just don't know what no sounds like and I've not changed and she is HIS flower girl for when him and his partner get married. I understand wanting your child to be apart of your wedding.... hence why I was trying to do what I know damn sure my boy would have done - to the point if they weren't in the party he would walk up to them n get them to help throw petal down the isle. I was upset. He rambled on and yelled shit at me and hung up when I said well if you didn't want her being a flower girl you could've just said it straight out.
I am still upset but I'm only upset due to he only brought it up when I was talking about what my son would want. If he had a problem with it why didn't he say it before hand. Later mum(51) found out him n his partner were upset I was getting married before them ( they have been engaged since 2021 and no mention of a wedding date) and they didn't want their daughter being someone else's flower girl before hand. Which again I understand so why not say that instead of starting the shit?
The next day Bob decided to tell me he couldn't come to the wedding as he doesn't know what his life would bring him to be doing then đ¤Śđźââď¸
Anyway I start to move forward with wedding planning . I let a friend know, as i was going to ask her to be a Bm. After saying getting married she bloody laughed so hard like i told the most funniest joke ever.... her daughter came in she is still laughing n said ' can you believe they are getting married' while wiping away tears from her eyes she laughed so hard. So I decided not to mention the bm part. She later started telling me what I should do for colours, who the bms should be, that the best man wears something different to the groomsmen. Etc. It was getting out of hand and everytime I mentioned we had decided what we are doing already is was wrong .... until she decided to make a competition with my unaware mother 'she better wear a dress or ill look better then her. Maybe even you' so I cut her out of my social group, my partner still thinks she was just helping. He needs the fog to clear.
I ask my best friend who I have known since 2017 and who was still there for me through the hard time of my son passing and still is to this day. Kel(43f) to be my MOH. My two sisters Petal n Kay(28f on father's side) as bridesmaids. As iTs tHe rIgHt tHiNg to do đ¤Śđźââď¸ at first I thought petal would flake first. If it's not her way she'll make some sort of version (even if it's LIES) that you did her wrong. I picked the dresses they were more then happy to pay for them. $160 ish each(aus). Well Kay went Mia for a few weeks. Then in January this year asked me if the place accepted afterpay. I said I know they accept Kalana or what ever its called. N then she was busting her arse for me to check.... she had the website I asked if she had her flights and accommodation prebooked. Nothing. As I was going to offer to pay for the dress if she was struggling. So I offered for her to come as a guest. 2 weeks NOT A SINGLE WORD. Not answering my calls or texts that wasn't even about the wedding. Its now Feb. I ask my cousin to be a back BM she was more then happy n as I was on the phone to her Kay said ' im getting a job so it'll be all sorted' now Kay is a sister who will take advantage for other people's hand outs. Where we are the closer to august you leave it your looking at 1600 n back minimum. N the week we are getting married not only with it be tourist session but race day also ( we forgot about race day đ ) After explaining this to her she decided with many more weeks in between she'll not come to the wedding at all.
So then it was my BF, petal and cousin.
Two weeks ago I got asked by my fathers (he is a dead beat) sister if he was invited. Long story short, I'm the child he never wanted. He never met my son at all while he was alive and loves to cause drama when it's not about him. He was a junkie when I first met him. So I politely said sorry no he is not and sorry for putting you in this position.
Just up until last week petal flaked. Family drama was happening and I pulled her up on her lies she had put in a group chat. She hadn't spoken to me since May. She would read the wedding chat but not respond. And I found out she had me on mute. Laste week I messaged her on the group chat, our private chat and text her can you aleast let me know whats going on. She came back with ' im not coming nor will I be in your wedding' I thanked her for letting me know. Went in the group chat for the wedding n she had already removed herself. N I blocked her shortly after my mum called. Mum had asked if I had heard from Petal. I told her what happened. Well, mum Being a mum was like 'ill get to the bottom of this' She asked why are you not part of the wedding anymore. My sister turned n said its not of your business. N then said I blocked her from the chat a while ago and I have not once messaged her n I'm mean. Mum caught her out n said she seen her lil picture keep up with the messaged just today etc. N she just banged on how no one understands her. So I blocked her.
I have now asked for my partners Sister to be a bm and she's more then happy to and I paid for her dress straight away so it should arrive to her before she is due to come up.
I found out in April my son will finally be a older brother like he always wanted. This is a miracle baby as I've had a few health problems with my uterus. To the point doctors said I might not even be able to do IVF. My partner n I are over the moon. I am in a a place where I'm happy and upset because my son is not here to witness what he always wanted. We have only told those that have been supportive, mu mum Dale and joey and my Sil.
All the stress of just my family has taken its toll. We have already paid majority of the wedding off and can't elope. I've lost all happiness for our day. I'm scared my father will rock up (he is spiteful like that) n im just deflated. With the add stress of being now 12weeks pregnant and still worried I could lose it at any point.
I have gotten all their jewellery, personalised pjs since Kay was involved. Personalised gifts and im paying for their hair and make up.
Kel my Moh is ready to go on a witch hunt. She's pissed that I have let it all go on for so long. So I'm trying to see if I am in the right or if I am in the wrong.
Am I being the Arsehole ? Bridezilla? Just feels no matter what happens in my life it's not good enough. If anything needs clearing up please let me know. Sorry for the long post. Thankyou in advance And if anyone has any advice ? Thankyou
2024.05.29 05:12 Status_Tension7332 (SELLING) MULTIPLE COPIES OF EACH TITLE . PLEASE ADD YOUR OWN TOTAL UP, THANK YOU
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2024.05.29 05:07 DefiantYesterday4806 Debunking, "If there was a conspiracy, someone would say something because humans are incompetent."
The idea that humans in large numbers lack competency, and so therefore a conspiracy would be practically impossible completely misses the point. Actually, the fact that humans are insanely incompetent and low-information is why conspiracies are everywhere and almost never go noticed. In fact, people DO speak up often and whistleblow and NO ONE LISTENS.
Part of the issue here is epistemological. We think we know about the world. Why do we think that? First of all, human brains are built to conceive of about 150 people around them. Urbanization breaks our brains, and because we're not built for it, we consistently process our impression of society wrong.
School and media are huge and very simply blunt instruments to provide us with a better impression of the massive urban society around us. Most of what we think we know comes from here. Yes, it's true that false information can be contradicted and humans actually can be quite logical with plain, clear facts. However, we have other social instincts which prevent this from happening.
We humans mostly tend to intuitively perceive what kinds of beliefs others have and give massive weight to that while filtering possibly complex or confusing facts in our heads. While some of us and some cultures are much more sophisticated and cynical about media, there are TONS of demographics (i.e.: young women) who psychologically interpret literally anything the media presents as representative of the actual tastes and preferences of that abstract 150 people the brain is built to perceive. Simply because the media exists and promotes one point of view, it means that this must be the position of those in the tribe with power.
Experienced, educated professionals will constantly filter inconvenient information in favor of adjusting to what the group believes. Smarter, 110-130 IQ "midwits" will actually recognize something is wrong, but will rationalize the emotional inconvenience and build explanations or narratives so they can cope. <110IQ people can't construct these rationalizations, and if they're low-IQ enough they can't even understand them, so this is why dumb people often perceive conspiracies that highly intelligent people observe, because the layer of rationalization doesn't appear to them. >140 IQ literally cannot use these rationalizations because their brains see right through them and you have to be a psychopath to ignore what you see. 110-130 IQ people ACTUALLY BELIEVE these rationalizations, that's the point. They ego invest in them and will fight their own kin to squash anyone noticing malicious behavior systemic to institutions. This is partly because, these midwits as the supreme managerial class, so effectively rationalize, they can operate in corrupt environments without being aware of the corruption. Thus they are rewarded immensely, given titles or big salaries, and become personally invested in the fraud while also consciously believing there's no fraud.
As an adult who has noticed all this from experience in the military, ecclesiastical, academic, corporate (never medical sadly) sectors, these patterns seem universal. You know the store manager who has the keys to lock up? Well, when they open up to their buddies and drink a little of the merchandise and throw a little party or whatever, if corporate can't tell, then why wouldn't they? Not everyone who has power will abuse it, but anywhere power is held, someone will abuse it. Abuse of power is a very casual thing, and at a minimum, some percentage of human personality types will always do it. The go-getters and doers especially trend toward a willingness to abuse power, and that's part of the problem. Other humans have specific instincts to submit to the powerful and almost take pleasure when they are on the good side of a psychopath who is abusing a third party.
Here you might say, "Gee, you have a cynical view of humanity." Sorry, the day a college kid can stand up and assert a point of view that's not social consensus, and have even 10% of the class change their minds and support him merely from considering the argument, then maybe I'll be more optimistic. No, people are cowards who are constantly trying to fit in, mostly most people are pretty dumb, and actually most people disdain those who refuse to fit in and don't care at all about the group's corruption. See, kids who are instinctively socially breaking from their parents will oppose the society of their parents. But kids will never oppose, not ever, not at scale, the social momentum of other kids unless there are other kids of clear divisions like racial or religious.
Therefore, I would propose that not only is society full of conspiracies at every level, but actually society functions on the basis of conspiracy. Small group loyalties and hierarchies form nodes around which institutional structure can build larger organizations. I was in the military which is full of formal authority, laws and rules. The reality of it is all that was a distraction to make people put up with a system that is more about little cliques among officers and so forth that sort everything out behind closed doors. Sure, norms, laws, rules, training smooth things out, allow interchangeability, but real decisions are made selfishly by some leader and they have quidproquo with colleagues and that bubbles up to the top. So whatever stupid beliefs they have about their organization or its values, they take with them to the top where someone like a general wields real power. Yet, such a person is sort of "endowed" with that position by his clique-community, and so they must fight for that community's values in the confines of that community's worldview, which might be totally inaccurate.
With this in mind, here is your final graduation thought experiment.
I've tried to understand the Ukraine war.
Right now Russia is playing on its former Soviet era diplomatic network so it's leaning into "white neocolonialists who think they have superior values exploit brown people because of theft and racism." But they're also simultaneously playing the newer, libertarian narrative of a progressive managerial elite which has hijacked the Western bureaucracy. It's sort of insane how they do this. Like how they exalt Orthodox religion but also insist Stalin did nothing wrong, which not even the post-Stalin USSR believed.
The anti-neocolonialist narrative says that rich whites want to steal resources from poor browns. This is factually what's happening, but the tragic irony is that many third world countries probably couldn't develop or benefit from these resources without first world help. So, there's both an argument against neo-colonialism, but also an argument that it's not like this big scam so much as a natural consequence. What it boils down to for me is where war, jackal economics or espionage is used. That's clearly wrong, and I think a lot of poor countries would be doing a lot better without these interventions, although I don't think they'd be rich and developed.
Well, the West actually is anti-neocolonialist too. Globalists want smart cities, AI economy, UBI, CBDC. They want rural white Americans to be the same level of poor as rural Africans, and for the gains of exploiting natural resources to be concentrated among a global elite, which although unfair, is not exclusive to borders. The geopolitical unfairness of neocolonialism will be addressed by Globalism. And its elite will be very small compared to the global proletariat they intend to have.
This is all very ironic since the globalist machine is playing the Euro-chauvinism card to appeal to Euro elites, and also the American exceptionalism card to appeal to American nationalists. They're playing whatever cards they have, like Russia.
So this is all I know: the West is lying to some of its lesser elites by paying lip service to their values. Russia is playing its old USSR geopolitics card while also playing a trad Orthodox card, while also playing an anti-globalist card.
I KNOW that the West is globalist, the leadership that is. So NATO must lose, because the globalists will certainly win if NATO wins. However, I fear the other side might also be globalists and the whole conflict is an anti-white, anti-Western charade meant to displace the old Euro elites and American nationalists.
That's the irony. Globalists control the West, but have to constantly deal with these older elite factions, so they could be using the war as a purge in a way.
It's hard to explain why the globalist-American leadership needed this conflict so bad. Probably it's all a shitshow gone wrong. This is where my explanation of how conspiracies function comes into play.
Neocons thought the would reinvigorate interest in the military but it hasn't. Like a new patriotism and interest in military power and funding.
Ukrainian Jews might have thought they could purge the Slavs and make a second Jewish homeland but that's probably off the table due to the failed counter offensive.
Russia's hopes of exercising their historical and cultural hegemony to settle the conflict have failed, when Ukrainian deep state operatives assured them they were still on the same old team.
Stupid nationalists who are somehow blind to the globalists and think the American economy is "doing great" probably thought this could be a knockout blow to Russia's meddling in certain geostrategic resource deals that affected American hegemony over Europe. This is a legacy of the British "can't let Europe become a world power" prerogative. The kind of dumb monkey legacy deep state geopolitical prerogatives that these idiots cling to while ignoring the other players around them.
So there are members of the British and American diplomatic-military-intelligence communities who are seemingly oblivious to what globalism is, or the imminent collapse of the Anglo-American financial hegemony. They actually believe the financial journalism. They are playing out a specific strategy from their class or clique or culture's history which is about keeping Europe down. So they are acting from that vantage and are acting as a conspiracy.
There are Euro elites acting from the vantage of actual vestigial colonialist attitudes where they actually think that Europe of all places is a bastion of Western values. While this class is completely morally degenerate, what they really mean is there is a class of elites in Europe that actually thinks the whole world outside of white Europe are actually just dumb monkeys. Not metaphorical. They are committed to all this, as a conspiracy that exercises influence as a conspiracy, because of this idiotic, low-information attitude.
Then there's the globalists who have all kinds of plans, and have even got Russia and China and India to adopt some of their financial technologies in preparation for their Great Reset. And this is done because of their massive influence over global business. As a conspiracy. And yet, while massively influential, they don't outright control Russia or China and their plants are constantly falling short. I'd say the globalists are trying to act as a conventional "illuminati" style conspiracy.
But the point is what I said in the beginning. Even these powerful, highly competent cliques have huge blind spots and huge power gaps because humans are in fact highly incompetent in large numbers.
I get a clique trying very hard to influence things and just falling short of being able to do it, but what boggles my mind is that a lot of these conspiracies who KNOW they are conspiracies who KNOW the world is a stage for the common sheep and KNOW the basic nature of deep state and intelligence games that are played. Even these people will not see past their own biases or egos, and fail to see lies in front of their own faces.
Because conspiracy is natural to humans. We do it naturally, so we engage in illicit collusion and cliquishness, but we don't necessarily see or realize where it's happening outside of our brain's 150 person social perception. Which to me is the oddest thing.
submitted by DefiantYesterday4806 to conspiracy [link] [comments]
Part of the issue here is epistemological. We think we know about the world. Why do we think that? First of all, human brains are built to conceive of about 150 people around them. Urbanization breaks our brains, and because we're not built for it, we consistently process our impression of society wrong.
School and media are huge and very simply blunt instruments to provide us with a better impression of the massive urban society around us. Most of what we think we know comes from here. Yes, it's true that false information can be contradicted and humans actually can be quite logical with plain, clear facts. However, we have other social instincts which prevent this from happening.
We humans mostly tend to intuitively perceive what kinds of beliefs others have and give massive weight to that while filtering possibly complex or confusing facts in our heads. While some of us and some cultures are much more sophisticated and cynical about media, there are TONS of demographics (i.e.: young women) who psychologically interpret literally anything the media presents as representative of the actual tastes and preferences of that abstract 150 people the brain is built to perceive. Simply because the media exists and promotes one point of view, it means that this must be the position of those in the tribe with power.
Experienced, educated professionals will constantly filter inconvenient information in favor of adjusting to what the group believes. Smarter, 110-130 IQ "midwits" will actually recognize something is wrong, but will rationalize the emotional inconvenience and build explanations or narratives so they can cope. <110IQ people can't construct these rationalizations, and if they're low-IQ enough they can't even understand them, so this is why dumb people often perceive conspiracies that highly intelligent people observe, because the layer of rationalization doesn't appear to them. >140 IQ literally cannot use these rationalizations because their brains see right through them and you have to be a psychopath to ignore what you see. 110-130 IQ people ACTUALLY BELIEVE these rationalizations, that's the point. They ego invest in them and will fight their own kin to squash anyone noticing malicious behavior systemic to institutions. This is partly because, these midwits as the supreme managerial class, so effectively rationalize, they can operate in corrupt environments without being aware of the corruption. Thus they are rewarded immensely, given titles or big salaries, and become personally invested in the fraud while also consciously believing there's no fraud.
As an adult who has noticed all this from experience in the military, ecclesiastical, academic, corporate (never medical sadly) sectors, these patterns seem universal. You know the store manager who has the keys to lock up? Well, when they open up to their buddies and drink a little of the merchandise and throw a little party or whatever, if corporate can't tell, then why wouldn't they? Not everyone who has power will abuse it, but anywhere power is held, someone will abuse it. Abuse of power is a very casual thing, and at a minimum, some percentage of human personality types will always do it. The go-getters and doers especially trend toward a willingness to abuse power, and that's part of the problem. Other humans have specific instincts to submit to the powerful and almost take pleasure when they are on the good side of a psychopath who is abusing a third party.
Here you might say, "Gee, you have a cynical view of humanity." Sorry, the day a college kid can stand up and assert a point of view that's not social consensus, and have even 10% of the class change their minds and support him merely from considering the argument, then maybe I'll be more optimistic. No, people are cowards who are constantly trying to fit in, mostly most people are pretty dumb, and actually most people disdain those who refuse to fit in and don't care at all about the group's corruption. See, kids who are instinctively socially breaking from their parents will oppose the society of their parents. But kids will never oppose, not ever, not at scale, the social momentum of other kids unless there are other kids of clear divisions like racial or religious.
Therefore, I would propose that not only is society full of conspiracies at every level, but actually society functions on the basis of conspiracy. Small group loyalties and hierarchies form nodes around which institutional structure can build larger organizations. I was in the military which is full of formal authority, laws and rules. The reality of it is all that was a distraction to make people put up with a system that is more about little cliques among officers and so forth that sort everything out behind closed doors. Sure, norms, laws, rules, training smooth things out, allow interchangeability, but real decisions are made selfishly by some leader and they have quidproquo with colleagues and that bubbles up to the top. So whatever stupid beliefs they have about their organization or its values, they take with them to the top where someone like a general wields real power. Yet, such a person is sort of "endowed" with that position by his clique-community, and so they must fight for that community's values in the confines of that community's worldview, which might be totally inaccurate.
With this in mind, here is your final graduation thought experiment.
I've tried to understand the Ukraine war.
Right now Russia is playing on its former Soviet era diplomatic network so it's leaning into "white neocolonialists who think they have superior values exploit brown people because of theft and racism." But they're also simultaneously playing the newer, libertarian narrative of a progressive managerial elite which has hijacked the Western bureaucracy. It's sort of insane how they do this. Like how they exalt Orthodox religion but also insist Stalin did nothing wrong, which not even the post-Stalin USSR believed.
The anti-neocolonialist narrative says that rich whites want to steal resources from poor browns. This is factually what's happening, but the tragic irony is that many third world countries probably couldn't develop or benefit from these resources without first world help. So, there's both an argument against neo-colonialism, but also an argument that it's not like this big scam so much as a natural consequence. What it boils down to for me is where war, jackal economics or espionage is used. That's clearly wrong, and I think a lot of poor countries would be doing a lot better without these interventions, although I don't think they'd be rich and developed.
Well, the West actually is anti-neocolonialist too. Globalists want smart cities, AI economy, UBI, CBDC. They want rural white Americans to be the same level of poor as rural Africans, and for the gains of exploiting natural resources to be concentrated among a global elite, which although unfair, is not exclusive to borders. The geopolitical unfairness of neocolonialism will be addressed by Globalism. And its elite will be very small compared to the global proletariat they intend to have.
This is all very ironic since the globalist machine is playing the Euro-chauvinism card to appeal to Euro elites, and also the American exceptionalism card to appeal to American nationalists. They're playing whatever cards they have, like Russia.
So this is all I know: the West is lying to some of its lesser elites by paying lip service to their values. Russia is playing its old USSR geopolitics card while also playing a trad Orthodox card, while also playing an anti-globalist card.
I KNOW that the West is globalist, the leadership that is. So NATO must lose, because the globalists will certainly win if NATO wins. However, I fear the other side might also be globalists and the whole conflict is an anti-white, anti-Western charade meant to displace the old Euro elites and American nationalists.
That's the irony. Globalists control the West, but have to constantly deal with these older elite factions, so they could be using the war as a purge in a way.
It's hard to explain why the globalist-American leadership needed this conflict so bad. Probably it's all a shitshow gone wrong. This is where my explanation of how conspiracies function comes into play.
Neocons thought the would reinvigorate interest in the military but it hasn't. Like a new patriotism and interest in military power and funding.
Ukrainian Jews might have thought they could purge the Slavs and make a second Jewish homeland but that's probably off the table due to the failed counter offensive.
Russia's hopes of exercising their historical and cultural hegemony to settle the conflict have failed, when Ukrainian deep state operatives assured them they were still on the same old team.
Stupid nationalists who are somehow blind to the globalists and think the American economy is "doing great" probably thought this could be a knockout blow to Russia's meddling in certain geostrategic resource deals that affected American hegemony over Europe. This is a legacy of the British "can't let Europe become a world power" prerogative. The kind of dumb monkey legacy deep state geopolitical prerogatives that these idiots cling to while ignoring the other players around them.
So there are members of the British and American diplomatic-military-intelligence communities who are seemingly oblivious to what globalism is, or the imminent collapse of the Anglo-American financial hegemony. They actually believe the financial journalism. They are playing out a specific strategy from their class or clique or culture's history which is about keeping Europe down. So they are acting from that vantage and are acting as a conspiracy.
There are Euro elites acting from the vantage of actual vestigial colonialist attitudes where they actually think that Europe of all places is a bastion of Western values. While this class is completely morally degenerate, what they really mean is there is a class of elites in Europe that actually thinks the whole world outside of white Europe are actually just dumb monkeys. Not metaphorical. They are committed to all this, as a conspiracy that exercises influence as a conspiracy, because of this idiotic, low-information attitude.
Then there's the globalists who have all kinds of plans, and have even got Russia and China and India to adopt some of their financial technologies in preparation for their Great Reset. And this is done because of their massive influence over global business. As a conspiracy. And yet, while massively influential, they don't outright control Russia or China and their plants are constantly falling short. I'd say the globalists are trying to act as a conventional "illuminati" style conspiracy.
But the point is what I said in the beginning. Even these powerful, highly competent cliques have huge blind spots and huge power gaps because humans are in fact highly incompetent in large numbers.
I get a clique trying very hard to influence things and just falling short of being able to do it, but what boggles my mind is that a lot of these conspiracies who KNOW they are conspiracies who KNOW the world is a stage for the common sheep and KNOW the basic nature of deep state and intelligence games that are played. Even these people will not see past their own biases or egos, and fail to see lies in front of their own faces.
Because conspiracy is natural to humans. We do it naturally, so we engage in illicit collusion and cliquishness, but we don't necessarily see or realize where it's happening outside of our brain's 150 person social perception. Which to me is the oddest thing.
2024.05.29 04:49 bwilhelm03 Cleaning a Pendleton blanket
Hey Y'all, I bought an irregular Pendleton blanket from their flagship store in Oregon about a year ago - it's about 6X7' (or a bit short of the area of queen a mattress). It was already a little dusty from just being out on the sale floor for people to look at before I bought it. I didn't know how to wash it so I shook it out and layered on a quilt for a few months til I could figure it out.
I sprayed a bit of stain spray on it a while ago and it got a ring of dust/dirt around the spot so I put it away til it's cleaned. There are some lighter-colored areas on the blanket, plus my elderly cat had been sneaking into my room to nap and shed on it when I was out which hasn't helped (why do they only like nice things??)
I mostly hand wash wool sweaters, etc, because they have never seem to be cleaned well after the cleaners.
Anyway: -Is water a no-no? Hand washing a Pendleton blanket would be learning experience, but I'd be open to it... Is that possible, or is there a way I could wash it in my commerical washing machine, in a gigantic lingerie bag on super-low and woolite etc? -Does dry cleaning actually do anything to clean the whole woven wool blanket, or is it spot-cleaning only? (Cat hair, dust, etc?) -If I go to a cleaner, what should I look for and ask them to do/what should I expect they do to it? -How much does it typically cost to clean these sized wool blankets (ballpark is helpful - closest /large city to me is Denver, 2 hours away, but there are smaller very expensive mountain towns close by).
Thank you!!
submitted by bwilhelm03 to CleaningTips [link] [comments]
I sprayed a bit of stain spray on it a while ago and it got a ring of dust/dirt around the spot so I put it away til it's cleaned. There are some lighter-colored areas on the blanket, plus my elderly cat had been sneaking into my room to nap and shed on it when I was out which hasn't helped (why do they only like nice things??)
I mostly hand wash wool sweaters, etc, because they have never seem to be cleaned well after the cleaners.
Anyway: -Is water a no-no? Hand washing a Pendleton blanket would be learning experience, but I'd be open to it... Is that possible, or is there a way I could wash it in my commerical washing machine, in a gigantic lingerie bag on super-low and woolite etc? -Does dry cleaning actually do anything to clean the whole woven wool blanket, or is it spot-cleaning only? (Cat hair, dust, etc?) -If I go to a cleaner, what should I look for and ask them to do/what should I expect they do to it? -How much does it typically cost to clean these sized wool blankets (ballpark is helpful - closest /large city to me is Denver, 2 hours away, but there are smaller very expensive mountain towns close by).
Thank you!!
2024.05.29 04:45 Square_Persimmon6228 Should I cut my hair short or leave it long? Hairstyle ideas please. Maybe hair color ideas as well! âĽď¸
submitted by Square_Persimmon6228 to Redheads_Celebs [link] [comments]
2024.05.29 04:44 Square_Persimmon6228 Should I cut my hair short or leave it long? Hairstyle ideas please. Maybe hair color ideas as well! âĽď¸
submitted by Square_Persimmon6228 to HairStyle [link] [comments]
2024.05.29 04:36 fruitylex What would you do
 | Iâm growing my hair out after having it quite short for some time. Itâs all the same length except for my curtain type bangs and a couple of tiny layers around my face. I feel as though I look like Hagrid (same style) itâs so thick ! Will it look better when itâs longer ? Or should I get some layers to create shape and style? submitted by fruitylex to femalehairadvice [link] [comments] |
2024.05.29 04:09 Storms_Wrath The Human Artificial Hivemind Part 518: A Falling Tower
First Previous Wiki
Penny gazed at the quartet of Elders. They were all wearing the merchandise she remembered from the last Judgment, which was exceedingly awkward. Mainly because they were wearing shirts with her face on them. But it was also oddly endearing, in a way. Until now, she hadn't seen too many Elders that were on her side.
Elders that weren't just Kashaunta or the familiar faces she already knew, like Spentha or Rho and Sai, actually showing appreciation of her, felt odd. Even if these ones went a little too far in it.
"You're even more beautiful in person, Liberator," one said.
"Uh, thanks. I appreciate that. I'm glad that you all like me. Rho and Sai told me that you all are interested in something I can give you?"
"Yeah. Maybe a short interview? We won't be like that airhead reporter. We'll ask the good questions."
"Yep, we will."
"Right then," Penny said. "Well, I'm glad to meet you."
"Thank you. Now that we're here, we'd like to know how you plan on taking care of the gang leaders."
"Well, presumably by imprisoning them. I don't think they deserve to die, even if others do. I'll leave that decision up to Justicar and his various judges in the criminal system."
Penny didn't like having to lie blatantly. She wanted to kill the slavers quite brutally, but doing that was a bad idea right now. Saying it also was a bad idea, for a similar reason. And Justicar's system was worryingly preferential to Elders, from what she'd looked up after the meeting with Pundacrawla.
"Aren't you worried that the Judges won't give proper justice?"
"I trust Justicar to do everything that is necessary."
Another lie. Justicar would do whatever he could to maintain his image. Hopefully, that wouldn't be at the cost of the Alliance's very existence.
"Got it. By the way, what's it like being human? Walking on only two legs. It seems kind of unstable. Do you fall a lot?"
A genuine curiosity from them was another breath of fresh air. It was the kind of question a quadruped would definitely ask, which put her more at ease about the nature of what they were trying to do. Even more than their evident support of her, with all the merch they were wearing. Penny felt a smile crack at the corners of her lips, unbidden.
"Not really. We can use our arms to steady ourselves pretty well. Obviously it's not as easy to balance on our two legs as it is with your four, but it's still good enough. In fact, the sprinters in the Olympics use all four limbs, since running as fast as possible also requires pumping our arms. As for what it's like to be human, it's hard to describe. For many of us, it will feel colder or warmer than Sprilnav would feel in the same temperatures, due to thinner skin. Our eyesight is more frontal than yours, given our lack of snouts, so our blindspots are a lot bigger. Our feet require shoes for rough ground, and we heal slower than you by around 20%. We can't really clack our jaws to the scale that you can, though we can make them meet."
Penny bared her teeth, showing as she opened and closed her mouth. It was nice to be able to talk about things like this.
"The Olympics?" one of them asked.
"It's a competition about athletics," Penny said. "Running, jumping, throwing, diving, swimming, skiing, snowboarding, and a lot of sports. There's specific divisions, too. Like how there's a 100 meter dash, 200 meter dash, 400 meter dash, and even an 800 meter dash for those with high levels of psychic energy. Though really, psychic energy and genetic editing have been messing with the events for a while now. And there's a Winter, Summer, and Space Olympics, each with different sorts of events. They move from city to city, though the Space Olympics are pretty much always on either Luna, Ceres, or Mercury. There's a lot more information out there on various events, but it's an old cultural practice revered by the entire species. Even more so since Phoebe's increased the prize pools for everyone."
"How does your species handle space in general? I know that you guys did things way differently before First Contact."
"We did. Mining companies kept tight control on all asteroid mining, while nations controlled planets like Earth and Mars and large planetary bodies like Luna. Supposedly, a few people planned for a cloud city on Venus, but we couldn't risk having such a vulnerable population because they'd have to rely on giant balloons to survive. That would probably be the least secure way to live, given the existence of rogue organizations and all that.
As for spaceships, most of them since we really colonized Luna come equipped with spacesuit bays, zero gravity water and food packs, oxygen tanks, emergency seats, specialized anti-micrometeorite hulls, and radiation shielding. A lot of the older military ships also were equipped with big radiators until World War Three, when it all became masses of drone warfare, with the big ships kept mainly for cargo and lanes where mass drone control was impossible.
Once the Vinarii came and we got shields, we started building big again. After all, it provided a huge number of jobs, and in the post-war economies, especially with VIs in place, a lot of people needed work. But we still go and do asteroid and moon mining, star lifting, and energy gathering. We built an orbital ring around Mercury, the closest planet to Sol, to help with all of that. It doubles as a production hub, too. Now, it's all in more systems and with a lot more friends."
"Speaking of aliens, what theory does your people have on why so many creatures resemble one another? Our jaws are adapted for hard shelled creatures, and we're told that many planets have oddly similar variations of those."
"Crabs."
She guessed what they were getting at.
It is odd, isn't it? Nilnacrawla observed.
Perhaps that is another one of the Source's whims, Penny thought.
Maybe.
A few of the Elders made exclamations of shock.
"You even have a word for them that directly translates!"
Penny chuckled. "Yeah, carcinization is a bit of a meme in the science community. But I've heard the most mainstream theories since the First Contact are that the Source itself is uncreative. It has a certain template of creatures which it largely doesn't alter, though it can take in inputs from beings close to it, perhaps even influencing them."
"Influencing them?"
"Yes. Modern depictions of wendigoes, folkloric creatures from North America, a continent on Earth, are shockingly similar to the Knowers in appearance. The internet depictions of them in particular like to emphasize canine qualities, and often show them with skulls visible directly, and with dark brown or black fur. Recent depictions, as in the past 300 years, differ from their original appearances quite significantly, with the canine characteristics in particular being enhanced.
We have sorted through all known images of these creatures and found roughly 80% similarity with the Knowers and tens of thousands of images that are literally exactly the same as Knowers. The ones we searched all came before World War Three, far before even the First Contact with the Vinarii, much less the Knowers who were entirely underground at the time due to the radiation of their home star. We believe that the Source managed to influence this facet of human culture with the actual existence of a real creature.
Other examples exist, like how the Trikkec look very similar to Komodo Dragons, Vinarii look very similar to insects known as a mantis, and the Acuarfar look exactly like insects known as wasps with the single exception of their furry snouts and green instead of yellow markings. The Sprilnav species itself shares high amounts of similarity with a fictional species known as Elites in early 2000s culture, particularly with your jaws, though you all have red skin instead of grey or brown.
The Junyli, Dreedeen, and the wanderers are the main species without high amounts of appearance in our cultures at some point. This correlates with the idea of the Source being the influencer, as their predecessors all were used to fight it. Many species of the galaxy look like parts of our culture or Earth's creatures. The proximity of these examples makes this far more suspicious than if they were across the galaxy.
But since they existed first, the only answer must be that the Source brought the influence to us first and planted the ideas in our heads. As for the ones which look like Earth creatures, all of them are old enough evolutionary branches that copying from them to Earth makes more sense. Though the references centering around the early 2000s is quite odd, it is also roughly when the internet came into wide existence, so it is also possible the Source gave the ideas a push so they would propagate, for an unknown reason. Like if it seeded the ideas that propagated across the early global network Humanity used."
"Hmm. Fascinating. We've seen evidence of the 'seeding' process among some historical nations near the galactic region of Earth before. So the Source re-uses and alters depictions of life and also life itself?"
"Maybe," Penny said. "Unless the Source is more directly tied to life than we think. There's a conceptual Death, but no conceptual Life. Isn't that odd?"
"Conceptual Life died in the Source war."
How did that really work, though? Penny asked Nilnacrawla.
Imagine a conceptual being. A few of the Progenitors, as well as Narvravarana, went up to try to harvest its power. It refused, and Narvravarana used its unique abilities to try and force the deal.
Why was your civilization like this?
Excess and greed, partly. But we couldn't really do much more expansion. Vertical expansion also had its limits if we wanted to remain relevant for the remaining lifespan of the universe. So Narvravarana, along with a few of the greatest rulers and leaders of Sprilnav society, started looking to other dimensional planes. They figured it was best not to let the problem get too much worse. Or at least, that is what they say. I believe it was to harvest more resources to use against our surrounding enemies.
You didn't have any allies? Penny asked.
At that time, all the powers of the universe were enemies. All the allies eventually merged through millions of years of normalization. We happened to get on the universal stage the earliest, so other civilizations we encountered had little choice but to surrender their independence. Some fought, others didn't, but the outcome was the same.
That seems terrible.
It was, though the other universal civilizations were no better. Some of them just exterminated all alien life they found that couldn't fight back. In that sense, the pre-war Sprilnav civilization was one of the greatest, and that's why I fought for them. Obviously, I'm biased in that regard, though.
Thanks for telling me, father.
No problem, Penny.
She refocused back on the conversation at hand.
"But a thing cannot be alive if it dies. The concept of life doesn't work that way. So maybe the Source just... took in the concept of life? Or absorbed it into whatever psychic energy really is, considering that it's responsible for all of our existence?"
"That's so crazy it might actually be true," one of the Elders said. "You're incredible, Penny."
"Uh, thanks. You're all pretty great too." Her eyes drifted to the images of herself on their clothing. She couldn't really help it.
"I have a question for you."
"Yes?"
"Do you know what I'm fighting for?"
"I assume since you're asking it here, you don't just want a one word answer," an Elder said. "I would say yes, and for the liberation of the Sprilnav from the stain of slavery. Though going deeper into your history, you have also fought for other species, either in wars or just generally moving around. It does look aimless, mostly, since the galaxy's so big. But I'm sure you've got a way through that."
"In some way. Part of why I'm here isn't just about my people. It was at first, I admit that. But as I have lived here, on Justicar, for days and weeks, I've seen you less as alien. It makes it easier for sympathy and easier to break out of simple mindsets. So far, there are many problems, but there are distinct pieces. The first is that many people want to uphold slavery. I'm not sure why, but they do. It isn't profitable, and it isn't moral. Robots are cheaper in every way, and don't need food or water.
That means it's illogical or emotional. So I could try and solve the problem with violence alone, but it won't be addressing the cause, only the symptoms. I need to get to the heart of the matter. And I think it has to do with Elders' memories and the gradual woes they have accumulated going through life. I don't want to tear that away or drug them into believing they're fine. I want to find a way to outlet that productively. The second part I have identified is scale. The galaxy is enormous, and your species is incredibly numerous. I could fight planet by planet for the rest of my life, and liberation would still be difficult.
That also means I'd need a better way of doing things. Maybe an economic or political incentive. Emotional reasons will not work permanently, nor will logic, since we are in this situation. I have found several ways to address this. Sadly, since the gangs are likely monitoring this feed, I can't just outright say my strategy. All I can ask you all to do is to believe. Believe that I have a solution, and that I and those who stand with me are working on it. Believe in me because I believe in you."
None of the Elders questioned or ridiculed her words. Most of it was because they were fans of her. But one of them, an Elder named Rahautiti, had a distinct glint in his eye. Their gazes met only momentarily, but Penny could tell he knew.
And so she appeared in the mindscape, even as they concluded the interview, which would be the first of many. It was a ploy to just talk about human culture and ideals a bit more, to get it out there. Because the hivemind's theory was correct.
In the universe, ideas had power. That power could be weaponized against those who previously stood to gain. The first part of it was the image: Nova as an unbeatable bastion. Lecalicus as the Beast, a monster capable of star-crushing rage. Twilight as... whatever she did. Penny wasn't really familiar with the Progenitor's image too much, and the various names, like the Silent Night or the Smiling Darkness, were just so unbelievably edgy she cringed every time she recalled them.
But Rahautiti understood so she moved her mindscape avatar to see him.
"Hello again, Penny. I am no threat."
"I know. I'm glad that your group is led by someone as capable as you, as well as the other groups you dabble within."
"Who discovered it?"
"Phoebe. You met with Ezeonwha, and the android wanted to ensure you weren't a way for Yasihaut to kill him."
"Yeah. We did get approached about that, actually. We're supposed to kill Ezeonwha when you walk into the Judgment hall. Of course, we won't do this, and she won't be able to retaliate against us easily while there."
"Thank you for your honesty, Elder," Penny said. "It seems I'm in your debt."
"Nonsense. 2,839. That is the number of children I have had. 2,626. That is the number of children of mine which were enslaved. The remaining 213 died in unrelated incidents, with nearly half of those involving slavers killing them. I remember all of their names, and all of their faces, Penny. I want all the slavers in this universe dead."
"I cannot achieve that."
"You cannot," Rahautiti agreed. "Not with my help or even that of Kashaunta and Lecalicus. And certainly not right now. I have not lived this long to be incapable of compromise or patchwork solutions. You show great promise. I understand your aversion to killing and the circumstantial reason why you are not doing so now. I will not grow upset if you do not resume killing when the Judgment ends. Nor do I harbor a grudge against you for the speeding space entity you left outside the room to avoid uncomfortable publicity. You are incredibly young.
A sliver of a life. But you are strong, and you are mature. That sliver of your lifespan already outshines all I could do with a trillion more years, Penny. You are right in that this isn't something you can punch your way through. Trauma is part of why slavery still exists, despite it being a wholly unjust reason for the Elders to make such a sport of it. I am sure you know the story of the war, with a great hero in your head and Kashaunta at your side. My line of work is what I started to help you. Every thought about you being the Liberator, every eye that glances on you freeing slaves, helps you to gather conceptual energy. My talent happens to be great enough to sense the Pact of Blades you have, as well. If you want, I can teach you how to hide the mark on your soul and your mind."
"I would like that, yes," Penny said. "And thank you for being so reasonable. I will ask Kashaunta to protect you from what consequences come for refusing the offer on Ezeonwha."
"There are going to be attacks on him, you know. Him and your ship."
Penny felt an odd feeling in her soul. Cardi's power flared around him, and she squinted at the sky. She just barely saw a sliver of a tentacle. Most would have mistaken it for a normal speeding space entity. But here? On Justicar, with Exile obviously not being the cause?
Only one being would cause that. Fate.
Given the subject of their conversation, it was obvious what was going on.
Penny tapped Rahautiti's jaw, adding a thin mark of conceptual power so she could easily find him again. She focused on the conceptual mark she'd left on Ezeonwha. A twinge of conceptual energy came from it. It was accompanied by various impressions, like fear, pain, and acceptance.
"I have to go," Penny said. "I will be back later. Displace."
She appeared next to the 102nd Visitor Welcome Office but not next to Ezeonwha. It was carnage everywhere she looked.
"Champion!" an unknown Elder yelled. "I am Elder Na-"
Her rising fury surged, and it took all she had not to dismember him. The distant thought of the Judgment stayed her hands, though only just.
Penny's fist collided with the Elder's jaw at twice the speed of sound. A piece of his jaws flew free. Bone fragments hit the ground behind him. Hundreds of soldiers fired on her, and she slammed them to the ground with pure will. Penny tore their guns away and sent them each to pummel the Elder in front of her with as much brutality as she could. His powerful armor wasn't as capable of defense against physical attacks as it was against her psychic energy, and so he fell.
"You... cannot save him," the Elder spat. Fields of psychic suppression fell upon her, reducing her power.
"Manipulation through Determination," Penny growled. "De-"
No! Nilnacrawla said. Do not kill him! Not yet!
"What goes up will go down."
Air hardened around the Elder and accelerated rapidly.
The Elder smashed into the shield five miles above with a speed just slow enough that he wouldn't die. He fell from it and then hit it again at a more modest speed. He'd bounce on that until the Guides came to get him.
But Penny had another target. One she had to save instead of attack.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
High Judge Tassidonia awoke to the sound of explosions. He grabbed his swords, his main gun, and the personal shield he reserved for only the most dire occasions. The sky was erupting in war all around him, and buildings were already falling nearby. The spires of skyscrapers rained down upon the entrances to the Underground, crushing thousands of fleeing Sprilnav under their wide impacts.
His implant identified members of the gangs nearby, making their way to his home.
"Retribution Cycle!" Tassidonia cried. A hidden door opened, and he boarded a small hovercraft that sported a high amount of defensive and offensive technology, a gift from Justicar for dealing with all that he had related to the Judgment. Only this time, he wouldn't be on the next one. But already, the destruction was spreading.
Micro-missiles rained upon friend and foe alike. Several detonated against the layered shields. The mounted turrets on the side of his hoverbike shot lasers into the enemies his implant identified.
"Elder Tassidonia!" an Elder cried nearby. "For the crime of defying the will of-"
Tassidonia called his fury to bear. He rammed his mind into the enemy Elder, disorienting her. She reeled, about to attack, when a thick laser smashed into her chest. It pushed her against the wall, and Tassidonia kept the pressure up until her body melted. He listened to her screams impassively, occasionally sending blasts from his gun at the gangs when their members started to stray too close.
The thick red beam did its work within twenty pulses. His swords began to float beside him, keeping pace as he sped away from his home. The entire apartment complex shuddered and began to lean, its foundation being destroyed by some effect below. Tassidonia abandoned it with only minor regret. He'd known this moment would come. Everything he needed was already with him.
He linked into the Guide network, directing squadrons to attack the breaches he'd identified. Orbital strikes fell upon them in quick succession. Thick beams of light pierced through the lower planetary shields from orbital platforms, their guns honing in on Justicar's enemies. Tassidonia's implant was linked to the grid as well. So when he eyed buildings occupied with too many gang members, orbital strikes fell on them a few pulses later.
Fire and plasma rained all around him. Explosions and smoke blossomed all around him. More missiles fell from his hovercraft. A fighter ship appeared beside him, its simple stealth revealing itself to his eyes. Tassidonia waited for the pilot chamber to open, and his craft stowed itself behind him when he got in. It was fully equipped, so soon, Tassidonia was in full control of a weapon of war.
His first order of business was detecting the gangs' most fortified areas. He peppered those bases in shield-weakening mines, followed by bunker-buster missiles. Several anti-air turrets hit him, but his shields prevented them from taking him down. He dropped three high-end Butcher Androids into the fray of the largest battles.
One of the adjacent fighter wings in the separate shield sector dropped a nuke. At that moment, Tassidonia made a decision.
Whatever insanity was going on right now wasn't worth staying here on his own. He turned his ship upward, narrowly avoiding nearly fifty missiles shot from another gang fortress, which was really just the lower floors of a supermarket. Thick slabs of concrete were being set up by androids and slaves from the Underground. All he could do was watch from above and attempt to mark those that might be a problem.
Justicar's Grand Fleet was moving in, though only the carriers and their escorts were doing anything of any scale. The armies were mobilizing, and it seemed that war had finally broken out. Justicar, while isolated due to the Judgment, would have to win a war that threatened to topple his rule entirely.
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Ezeonwha woke when the walls around him shuddered.
An earthquake?
Groggily, he activated the lights in the room. Phoebe's android was charging in the wall. Her limbs swayed with the motion. The walls shuddered again, and the lights went out. Thin, tiny cracks spread in the walls, increasing his worry factors massively. His implant notified him that this wasn't a dream. Distant screams reached his ears, and he went to the window.
Hordes of Sprilnav were running on the ground, tripping over each other to escape. He heard the thump of footsteps approaching from outside. The android activated, standing up.
"Move away from the doo-"
An explosion tossed him across the room. A Sprilnav carrying some sort of mouth weapon faded into view for a moment, smoke recalibrating the stealth field. And then he was gone. Phoebe smashed into the Sprilnav, her fists pummeling the assassin faster than Ezeonwha could comprehend.
Phoebe's arms turned into swords, and she stabbed the Sprilnav at least fifty times in a single pulse. She turned to grab him, but before she reached him, a second explosion sent him flying out of the now-shattered window.
The massive skyscraper loomed large, and he saw the ground beneath it ripple. Dull thumps sounded from below, and large, circular caverns opened beneath the 102nd Visitor Welcome Office. The whole building started to list forward, and Ezeonwha frantically activated his emergency personal shield as he started falling faster and faster. A bullet hit the shield. And then a second one. Gunshots echoed out in the distance, and he saw other Sprilnav falling from broken windows in the falling skyscraper. Gunfire erupted on the streets as Guides engaged a growing army of attackers bubbling up from basements of shops and businesses.
He saw spurts of blood exit the Sprilnav nearest him, bullets tearing holes through the woman's body. Piercing screams surrounded him, a terrible chorus that reminded him of the worst wars he'd fought in. But here, his training could do nothing. She was already dead, and he knew that he was the target of this whole attack. His eyes watered, and Ezeonwha felt so powerless. So useless.
A Corrector emerged from the side of the tilting skyscraper, eyes fixed on Ezeonwha. Then he looked down. Somehow, Ezeonwha knew when the orders had been sent. He knew that it was Astipra in the distance, a jetpack on his shoulders burning a thick flame beneath him.
Astipra looked back at the building and flew toward it. Ezeonwha felt the wind rushing past the shield as pressure. Astipra, far above, vaporized falling chunks of the skyscraper with blasts from his arm cannons. He pressed back against the skyscraper, the jetpack going into overdrive. The metal bent inward, and the groaning and twisting structure continued its fall. Blasts of light from Astipra again vaporized the set of falling chunks.
"Penny," he said. It was almost a prayer, really. His desperate mind was scrambling for whatever it could get. "Please, save me!"
He didn't know if she could hear him. Logically, it was impossible. And in a battle such as this, unlikely as well. Rippling explosions erupted across the facade of the falling skyscraper as rockets struck it. More explosions bloomed as lasers from distant police vehicles, Guides, and Astipra destroyed more of the fast-flying missiles and rockets. They pounded on the world around him, a horde of madness threatening to break his brain. He could feel the wind and gravity equalize as he reached terminal velocity.
And all he could see was the world descending into war around him. The 102nd Visitor Welcome Office continued to slump and lean against Astipra's best efforts. More bullets hit Ezeonwha's personal shield, and peppered the Guides moving over to save him. Air ambulances were shot from the sky. Even small fighter crafts were shot down by powerful ground lasers. EMPs thumped, disabling all the higher functions of his implant before he could think to use it.
A much larger explosion bloomed out, and Ezeonwha followed the rocket's trail to an Elder on the ground, standing in the wreckage surrounding a sudden tunnel opening. The Elder stared at him in glee, and he lined up another shot. Two Guides fell upon the Elder, who flew up using a jetpack to cut them in half with his sword. A hard light hologram lifted a large gun, pointing at Ezeonwha as he fell.
His eyes widened. Ezeonwha did everything he could. He angled his legs and arms. He pushed at the air. He even hefted the meager psychic energy he had, struggling with all his soul to escape the death he could feel was coming to him.
Guides swarmed beyond the shield appearing, while gang soldiers died by the hundreds to carpet bombing. Personal shields sprang up to block the explosions, and the Elder had survived. A thick red laser cut one of the fighters in half from the smoke. Above him, the collapsing facade of the skyscraper consumed Astipra entirely, though large gouts of plasma and thick explosions emerged from within. He could survive if it fell upon him, but Ezonwha could not.
Penny materialized far below, closer to the field of battle. A sweeping wave of gang members began disappearing. A bullet smashed into her head and her stomach, detonating in bright explosions. A personal shield flared and disappeared. Missiles and lasers slammed into Penny by the thousands as psychic energy gathered. A constant roll of words fell from her tongue, but without his implant, they were not translated.
Missiles crumbled into dust. Lasers impacted raw space in front of Penny before bending down and back to their origins, destroying automated turrets. Bullets still hit Penny and the Guides by the thousands, firing too quickly and densely for her to entirely block. But the large ordnance from the gangs continued to work against them.
Penny looked around, confusion evident on her face. But amidst the thousands of wounded and dead Sprilnav falling from the broken windows, Ezeonwha was hidden too well.
Shattering glass could be constantly heard, and he could feel the distant screams in his soul. A bullet smashed into his personal shield again, disabling it. A pulse later, he lost feeling in his legs.
He tried to reach out to her mind, but the war in the mindscape was equally intense. Too many Elders and Guides battling it out along with various suppression artifacts made it all impossible. He could sense Penny's influence, but couldn't directly reach her.
He let out a breath, knowing it to be the final one.
I'm sorry, Penny, Ezeonwha thought.
I wish you luck in the Judgment, and I am sorry I caused this to happen to you.
Penny finally appeared in front of him, eyes wide-
Blood erupted. A searing pain in his head told him his implant had just shorted out. And in the mindscape, he saw a mental attack heading for him, its brutal power evident. He closed his eyes.
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Penny gazed at the quartet of Elders. They were all wearing the merchandise she remembered from the last Judgment, which was exceedingly awkward. Mainly because they were wearing shirts with her face on them. But it was also oddly endearing, in a way. Until now, she hadn't seen too many Elders that were on her side.
Elders that weren't just Kashaunta or the familiar faces she already knew, like Spentha or Rho and Sai, actually showing appreciation of her, felt odd. Even if these ones went a little too far in it.
"You're even more beautiful in person, Liberator," one said.
"Uh, thanks. I appreciate that. I'm glad that you all like me. Rho and Sai told me that you all are interested in something I can give you?"
"Yeah. Maybe a short interview? We won't be like that airhead reporter. We'll ask the good questions."
"Yep, we will."
"Right then," Penny said. "Well, I'm glad to meet you."
"Thank you. Now that we're here, we'd like to know how you plan on taking care of the gang leaders."
"Well, presumably by imprisoning them. I don't think they deserve to die, even if others do. I'll leave that decision up to Justicar and his various judges in the criminal system."
Penny didn't like having to lie blatantly. She wanted to kill the slavers quite brutally, but doing that was a bad idea right now. Saying it also was a bad idea, for a similar reason. And Justicar's system was worryingly preferential to Elders, from what she'd looked up after the meeting with Pundacrawla.
"Aren't you worried that the Judges won't give proper justice?"
"I trust Justicar to do everything that is necessary."
Another lie. Justicar would do whatever he could to maintain his image. Hopefully, that wouldn't be at the cost of the Alliance's very existence.
"Got it. By the way, what's it like being human? Walking on only two legs. It seems kind of unstable. Do you fall a lot?"
A genuine curiosity from them was another breath of fresh air. It was the kind of question a quadruped would definitely ask, which put her more at ease about the nature of what they were trying to do. Even more than their evident support of her, with all the merch they were wearing. Penny felt a smile crack at the corners of her lips, unbidden.
"Not really. We can use our arms to steady ourselves pretty well. Obviously it's not as easy to balance on our two legs as it is with your four, but it's still good enough. In fact, the sprinters in the Olympics use all four limbs, since running as fast as possible also requires pumping our arms. As for what it's like to be human, it's hard to describe. For many of us, it will feel colder or warmer than Sprilnav would feel in the same temperatures, due to thinner skin. Our eyesight is more frontal than yours, given our lack of snouts, so our blindspots are a lot bigger. Our feet require shoes for rough ground, and we heal slower than you by around 20%. We can't really clack our jaws to the scale that you can, though we can make them meet."
Penny bared her teeth, showing as she opened and closed her mouth. It was nice to be able to talk about things like this.
"The Olympics?" one of them asked.
"It's a competition about athletics," Penny said. "Running, jumping, throwing, diving, swimming, skiing, snowboarding, and a lot of sports. There's specific divisions, too. Like how there's a 100 meter dash, 200 meter dash, 400 meter dash, and even an 800 meter dash for those with high levels of psychic energy. Though really, psychic energy and genetic editing have been messing with the events for a while now. And there's a Winter, Summer, and Space Olympics, each with different sorts of events. They move from city to city, though the Space Olympics are pretty much always on either Luna, Ceres, or Mercury. There's a lot more information out there on various events, but it's an old cultural practice revered by the entire species. Even more so since Phoebe's increased the prize pools for everyone."
"How does your species handle space in general? I know that you guys did things way differently before First Contact."
"We did. Mining companies kept tight control on all asteroid mining, while nations controlled planets like Earth and Mars and large planetary bodies like Luna. Supposedly, a few people planned for a cloud city on Venus, but we couldn't risk having such a vulnerable population because they'd have to rely on giant balloons to survive. That would probably be the least secure way to live, given the existence of rogue organizations and all that.
As for spaceships, most of them since we really colonized Luna come equipped with spacesuit bays, zero gravity water and food packs, oxygen tanks, emergency seats, specialized anti-micrometeorite hulls, and radiation shielding. A lot of the older military ships also were equipped with big radiators until World War Three, when it all became masses of drone warfare, with the big ships kept mainly for cargo and lanes where mass drone control was impossible.
Once the Vinarii came and we got shields, we started building big again. After all, it provided a huge number of jobs, and in the post-war economies, especially with VIs in place, a lot of people needed work. But we still go and do asteroid and moon mining, star lifting, and energy gathering. We built an orbital ring around Mercury, the closest planet to Sol, to help with all of that. It doubles as a production hub, too. Now, it's all in more systems and with a lot more friends."
"Speaking of aliens, what theory does your people have on why so many creatures resemble one another? Our jaws are adapted for hard shelled creatures, and we're told that many planets have oddly similar variations of those."
"Crabs."
She guessed what they were getting at.
It is odd, isn't it? Nilnacrawla observed.
Perhaps that is another one of the Source's whims, Penny thought.
Maybe.
A few of the Elders made exclamations of shock.
"You even have a word for them that directly translates!"
Penny chuckled. "Yeah, carcinization is a bit of a meme in the science community. But I've heard the most mainstream theories since the First Contact are that the Source itself is uncreative. It has a certain template of creatures which it largely doesn't alter, though it can take in inputs from beings close to it, perhaps even influencing them."
"Influencing them?"
"Yes. Modern depictions of wendigoes, folkloric creatures from North America, a continent on Earth, are shockingly similar to the Knowers in appearance. The internet depictions of them in particular like to emphasize canine qualities, and often show them with skulls visible directly, and with dark brown or black fur. Recent depictions, as in the past 300 years, differ from their original appearances quite significantly, with the canine characteristics in particular being enhanced.
We have sorted through all known images of these creatures and found roughly 80% similarity with the Knowers and tens of thousands of images that are literally exactly the same as Knowers. The ones we searched all came before World War Three, far before even the First Contact with the Vinarii, much less the Knowers who were entirely underground at the time due to the radiation of their home star. We believe that the Source managed to influence this facet of human culture with the actual existence of a real creature.
Other examples exist, like how the Trikkec look very similar to Komodo Dragons, Vinarii look very similar to insects known as a mantis, and the Acuarfar look exactly like insects known as wasps with the single exception of their furry snouts and green instead of yellow markings. The Sprilnav species itself shares high amounts of similarity with a fictional species known as Elites in early 2000s culture, particularly with your jaws, though you all have red skin instead of grey or brown.
The Junyli, Dreedeen, and the wanderers are the main species without high amounts of appearance in our cultures at some point. This correlates with the idea of the Source being the influencer, as their predecessors all were used to fight it. Many species of the galaxy look like parts of our culture or Earth's creatures. The proximity of these examples makes this far more suspicious than if they were across the galaxy.
But since they existed first, the only answer must be that the Source brought the influence to us first and planted the ideas in our heads. As for the ones which look like Earth creatures, all of them are old enough evolutionary branches that copying from them to Earth makes more sense. Though the references centering around the early 2000s is quite odd, it is also roughly when the internet came into wide existence, so it is also possible the Source gave the ideas a push so they would propagate, for an unknown reason. Like if it seeded the ideas that propagated across the early global network Humanity used."
"Hmm. Fascinating. We've seen evidence of the 'seeding' process among some historical nations near the galactic region of Earth before. So the Source re-uses and alters depictions of life and also life itself?"
"Maybe," Penny said. "Unless the Source is more directly tied to life than we think. There's a conceptual Death, but no conceptual Life. Isn't that odd?"
"Conceptual Life died in the Source war."
How did that really work, though? Penny asked Nilnacrawla.
Imagine a conceptual being. A few of the Progenitors, as well as Narvravarana, went up to try to harvest its power. It refused, and Narvravarana used its unique abilities to try and force the deal.
Why was your civilization like this?
Excess and greed, partly. But we couldn't really do much more expansion. Vertical expansion also had its limits if we wanted to remain relevant for the remaining lifespan of the universe. So Narvravarana, along with a few of the greatest rulers and leaders of Sprilnav society, started looking to other dimensional planes. They figured it was best not to let the problem get too much worse. Or at least, that is what they say. I believe it was to harvest more resources to use against our surrounding enemies.
You didn't have any allies? Penny asked.
At that time, all the powers of the universe were enemies. All the allies eventually merged through millions of years of normalization. We happened to get on the universal stage the earliest, so other civilizations we encountered had little choice but to surrender their independence. Some fought, others didn't, but the outcome was the same.
That seems terrible.
It was, though the other universal civilizations were no better. Some of them just exterminated all alien life they found that couldn't fight back. In that sense, the pre-war Sprilnav civilization was one of the greatest, and that's why I fought for them. Obviously, I'm biased in that regard, though.
Thanks for telling me, father.
No problem, Penny.
She refocused back on the conversation at hand.
"But a thing cannot be alive if it dies. The concept of life doesn't work that way. So maybe the Source just... took in the concept of life? Or absorbed it into whatever psychic energy really is, considering that it's responsible for all of our existence?"
"That's so crazy it might actually be true," one of the Elders said. "You're incredible, Penny."
"Uh, thanks. You're all pretty great too." Her eyes drifted to the images of herself on their clothing. She couldn't really help it.
"I have a question for you."
"Yes?"
"Do you know what I'm fighting for?"
"I assume since you're asking it here, you don't just want a one word answer," an Elder said. "I would say yes, and for the liberation of the Sprilnav from the stain of slavery. Though going deeper into your history, you have also fought for other species, either in wars or just generally moving around. It does look aimless, mostly, since the galaxy's so big. But I'm sure you've got a way through that."
"In some way. Part of why I'm here isn't just about my people. It was at first, I admit that. But as I have lived here, on Justicar, for days and weeks, I've seen you less as alien. It makes it easier for sympathy and easier to break out of simple mindsets. So far, there are many problems, but there are distinct pieces. The first is that many people want to uphold slavery. I'm not sure why, but they do. It isn't profitable, and it isn't moral. Robots are cheaper in every way, and don't need food or water.
That means it's illogical or emotional. So I could try and solve the problem with violence alone, but it won't be addressing the cause, only the symptoms. I need to get to the heart of the matter. And I think it has to do with Elders' memories and the gradual woes they have accumulated going through life. I don't want to tear that away or drug them into believing they're fine. I want to find a way to outlet that productively. The second part I have identified is scale. The galaxy is enormous, and your species is incredibly numerous. I could fight planet by planet for the rest of my life, and liberation would still be difficult.
That also means I'd need a better way of doing things. Maybe an economic or political incentive. Emotional reasons will not work permanently, nor will logic, since we are in this situation. I have found several ways to address this. Sadly, since the gangs are likely monitoring this feed, I can't just outright say my strategy. All I can ask you all to do is to believe. Believe that I have a solution, and that I and those who stand with me are working on it. Believe in me because I believe in you."
None of the Elders questioned or ridiculed her words. Most of it was because they were fans of her. But one of them, an Elder named Rahautiti, had a distinct glint in his eye. Their gazes met only momentarily, but Penny could tell he knew.
And so she appeared in the mindscape, even as they concluded the interview, which would be the first of many. It was a ploy to just talk about human culture and ideals a bit more, to get it out there. Because the hivemind's theory was correct.
In the universe, ideas had power. That power could be weaponized against those who previously stood to gain. The first part of it was the image: Nova as an unbeatable bastion. Lecalicus as the Beast, a monster capable of star-crushing rage. Twilight as... whatever she did. Penny wasn't really familiar with the Progenitor's image too much, and the various names, like the Silent Night or the Smiling Darkness, were just so unbelievably edgy she cringed every time she recalled them.
But Rahautiti understood so she moved her mindscape avatar to see him.
"Hello again, Penny. I am no threat."
"I know. I'm glad that your group is led by someone as capable as you, as well as the other groups you dabble within."
"Who discovered it?"
"Phoebe. You met with Ezeonwha, and the android wanted to ensure you weren't a way for Yasihaut to kill him."
"Yeah. We did get approached about that, actually. We're supposed to kill Ezeonwha when you walk into the Judgment hall. Of course, we won't do this, and she won't be able to retaliate against us easily while there."
"Thank you for your honesty, Elder," Penny said. "It seems I'm in your debt."
"Nonsense. 2,839. That is the number of children I have had. 2,626. That is the number of children of mine which were enslaved. The remaining 213 died in unrelated incidents, with nearly half of those involving slavers killing them. I remember all of their names, and all of their faces, Penny. I want all the slavers in this universe dead."
"I cannot achieve that."
"You cannot," Rahautiti agreed. "Not with my help or even that of Kashaunta and Lecalicus. And certainly not right now. I have not lived this long to be incapable of compromise or patchwork solutions. You show great promise. I understand your aversion to killing and the circumstantial reason why you are not doing so now. I will not grow upset if you do not resume killing when the Judgment ends. Nor do I harbor a grudge against you for the speeding space entity you left outside the room to avoid uncomfortable publicity. You are incredibly young.
A sliver of a life. But you are strong, and you are mature. That sliver of your lifespan already outshines all I could do with a trillion more years, Penny. You are right in that this isn't something you can punch your way through. Trauma is part of why slavery still exists, despite it being a wholly unjust reason for the Elders to make such a sport of it. I am sure you know the story of the war, with a great hero in your head and Kashaunta at your side. My line of work is what I started to help you. Every thought about you being the Liberator, every eye that glances on you freeing slaves, helps you to gather conceptual energy. My talent happens to be great enough to sense the Pact of Blades you have, as well. If you want, I can teach you how to hide the mark on your soul and your mind."
"I would like that, yes," Penny said. "And thank you for being so reasonable. I will ask Kashaunta to protect you from what consequences come for refusing the offer on Ezeonwha."
"There are going to be attacks on him, you know. Him and your ship."
Penny felt an odd feeling in her soul. Cardi's power flared around him, and she squinted at the sky. She just barely saw a sliver of a tentacle. Most would have mistaken it for a normal speeding space entity. But here? On Justicar, with Exile obviously not being the cause?
Only one being would cause that. Fate.
Given the subject of their conversation, it was obvious what was going on.
Penny tapped Rahautiti's jaw, adding a thin mark of conceptual power so she could easily find him again. She focused on the conceptual mark she'd left on Ezeonwha. A twinge of conceptual energy came from it. It was accompanied by various impressions, like fear, pain, and acceptance.
"I have to go," Penny said. "I will be back later. Displace."
She appeared next to the 102nd Visitor Welcome Office but not next to Ezeonwha. It was carnage everywhere she looked.
"Champion!" an unknown Elder yelled. "I am Elder Na-"
Her rising fury surged, and it took all she had not to dismember him. The distant thought of the Judgment stayed her hands, though only just.
Penny's fist collided with the Elder's jaw at twice the speed of sound. A piece of his jaws flew free. Bone fragments hit the ground behind him. Hundreds of soldiers fired on her, and she slammed them to the ground with pure will. Penny tore their guns away and sent them each to pummel the Elder in front of her with as much brutality as she could. His powerful armor wasn't as capable of defense against physical attacks as it was against her psychic energy, and so he fell.
"You... cannot save him," the Elder spat. Fields of psychic suppression fell upon her, reducing her power.
"Manipulation through Determination," Penny growled. "De-"
No! Nilnacrawla said. Do not kill him! Not yet!
"What goes up will go down."
Air hardened around the Elder and accelerated rapidly.
The Elder smashed into the shield five miles above with a speed just slow enough that he wouldn't die. He fell from it and then hit it again at a more modest speed. He'd bounce on that until the Guides came to get him.
But Penny had another target. One she had to save instead of attack.
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High Judge Tassidonia awoke to the sound of explosions. He grabbed his swords, his main gun, and the personal shield he reserved for only the most dire occasions. The sky was erupting in war all around him, and buildings were already falling nearby. The spires of skyscrapers rained down upon the entrances to the Underground, crushing thousands of fleeing Sprilnav under their wide impacts.
His implant identified members of the gangs nearby, making their way to his home.
"Retribution Cycle!" Tassidonia cried. A hidden door opened, and he boarded a small hovercraft that sported a high amount of defensive and offensive technology, a gift from Justicar for dealing with all that he had related to the Judgment. Only this time, he wouldn't be on the next one. But already, the destruction was spreading.
Micro-missiles rained upon friend and foe alike. Several detonated against the layered shields. The mounted turrets on the side of his hoverbike shot lasers into the enemies his implant identified.
"Elder Tassidonia!" an Elder cried nearby. "For the crime of defying the will of-"
Tassidonia called his fury to bear. He rammed his mind into the enemy Elder, disorienting her. She reeled, about to attack, when a thick laser smashed into her chest. It pushed her against the wall, and Tassidonia kept the pressure up until her body melted. He listened to her screams impassively, occasionally sending blasts from his gun at the gangs when their members started to stray too close.
The thick red beam did its work within twenty pulses. His swords began to float beside him, keeping pace as he sped away from his home. The entire apartment complex shuddered and began to lean, its foundation being destroyed by some effect below. Tassidonia abandoned it with only minor regret. He'd known this moment would come. Everything he needed was already with him.
He linked into the Guide network, directing squadrons to attack the breaches he'd identified. Orbital strikes fell upon them in quick succession. Thick beams of light pierced through the lower planetary shields from orbital platforms, their guns honing in on Justicar's enemies. Tassidonia's implant was linked to the grid as well. So when he eyed buildings occupied with too many gang members, orbital strikes fell on them a few pulses later.
Fire and plasma rained all around him. Explosions and smoke blossomed all around him. More missiles fell from his hovercraft. A fighter ship appeared beside him, its simple stealth revealing itself to his eyes. Tassidonia waited for the pilot chamber to open, and his craft stowed itself behind him when he got in. It was fully equipped, so soon, Tassidonia was in full control of a weapon of war.
His first order of business was detecting the gangs' most fortified areas. He peppered those bases in shield-weakening mines, followed by bunker-buster missiles. Several anti-air turrets hit him, but his shields prevented them from taking him down. He dropped three high-end Butcher Androids into the fray of the largest battles.
One of the adjacent fighter wings in the separate shield sector dropped a nuke. At that moment, Tassidonia made a decision.
Whatever insanity was going on right now wasn't worth staying here on his own. He turned his ship upward, narrowly avoiding nearly fifty missiles shot from another gang fortress, which was really just the lower floors of a supermarket. Thick slabs of concrete were being set up by androids and slaves from the Underground. All he could do was watch from above and attempt to mark those that might be a problem.
Justicar's Grand Fleet was moving in, though only the carriers and their escorts were doing anything of any scale. The armies were mobilizing, and it seemed that war had finally broken out. Justicar, while isolated due to the Judgment, would have to win a war that threatened to topple his rule entirely.
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Ezeonwha woke when the walls around him shuddered.
An earthquake?
Groggily, he activated the lights in the room. Phoebe's android was charging in the wall. Her limbs swayed with the motion. The walls shuddered again, and the lights went out. Thin, tiny cracks spread in the walls, increasing his worry factors massively. His implant notified him that this wasn't a dream. Distant screams reached his ears, and he went to the window.
Hordes of Sprilnav were running on the ground, tripping over each other to escape. He heard the thump of footsteps approaching from outside. The android activated, standing up.
"Move away from the doo-"
An explosion tossed him across the room. A Sprilnav carrying some sort of mouth weapon faded into view for a moment, smoke recalibrating the stealth field. And then he was gone. Phoebe smashed into the Sprilnav, her fists pummeling the assassin faster than Ezeonwha could comprehend.
Phoebe's arms turned into swords, and she stabbed the Sprilnav at least fifty times in a single pulse. She turned to grab him, but before she reached him, a second explosion sent him flying out of the now-shattered window.
The massive skyscraper loomed large, and he saw the ground beneath it ripple. Dull thumps sounded from below, and large, circular caverns opened beneath the 102nd Visitor Welcome Office. The whole building started to list forward, and Ezeonwha frantically activated his emergency personal shield as he started falling faster and faster. A bullet hit the shield. And then a second one. Gunshots echoed out in the distance, and he saw other Sprilnav falling from broken windows in the falling skyscraper. Gunfire erupted on the streets as Guides engaged a growing army of attackers bubbling up from basements of shops and businesses.
He saw spurts of blood exit the Sprilnav nearest him, bullets tearing holes through the woman's body. Piercing screams surrounded him, a terrible chorus that reminded him of the worst wars he'd fought in. But here, his training could do nothing. She was already dead, and he knew that he was the target of this whole attack. His eyes watered, and Ezeonwha felt so powerless. So useless.
A Corrector emerged from the side of the tilting skyscraper, eyes fixed on Ezeonwha. Then he looked down. Somehow, Ezeonwha knew when the orders had been sent. He knew that it was Astipra in the distance, a jetpack on his shoulders burning a thick flame beneath him.
Astipra looked back at the building and flew toward it. Ezeonwha felt the wind rushing past the shield as pressure. Astipra, far above, vaporized falling chunks of the skyscraper with blasts from his arm cannons. He pressed back against the skyscraper, the jetpack going into overdrive. The metal bent inward, and the groaning and twisting structure continued its fall. Blasts of light from Astipra again vaporized the set of falling chunks.
"Penny," he said. It was almost a prayer, really. His desperate mind was scrambling for whatever it could get. "Please, save me!"
He didn't know if she could hear him. Logically, it was impossible. And in a battle such as this, unlikely as well. Rippling explosions erupted across the facade of the falling skyscraper as rockets struck it. More explosions bloomed as lasers from distant police vehicles, Guides, and Astipra destroyed more of the fast-flying missiles and rockets. They pounded on the world around him, a horde of madness threatening to break his brain. He could feel the wind and gravity equalize as he reached terminal velocity.
And all he could see was the world descending into war around him. The 102nd Visitor Welcome Office continued to slump and lean against Astipra's best efforts. More bullets hit Ezeonwha's personal shield, and peppered the Guides moving over to save him. Air ambulances were shot from the sky. Even small fighter crafts were shot down by powerful ground lasers. EMPs thumped, disabling all the higher functions of his implant before he could think to use it.
A much larger explosion bloomed out, and Ezeonwha followed the rocket's trail to an Elder on the ground, standing in the wreckage surrounding a sudden tunnel opening. The Elder stared at him in glee, and he lined up another shot. Two Guides fell upon the Elder, who flew up using a jetpack to cut them in half with his sword. A hard light hologram lifted a large gun, pointing at Ezeonwha as he fell.
His eyes widened. Ezeonwha did everything he could. He angled his legs and arms. He pushed at the air. He even hefted the meager psychic energy he had, struggling with all his soul to escape the death he could feel was coming to him.
Guides swarmed beyond the shield appearing, while gang soldiers died by the hundreds to carpet bombing. Personal shields sprang up to block the explosions, and the Elder had survived. A thick red laser cut one of the fighters in half from the smoke. Above him, the collapsing facade of the skyscraper consumed Astipra entirely, though large gouts of plasma and thick explosions emerged from within. He could survive if it fell upon him, but Ezonwha could not.
Penny materialized far below, closer to the field of battle. A sweeping wave of gang members began disappearing. A bullet smashed into her head and her stomach, detonating in bright explosions. A personal shield flared and disappeared. Missiles and lasers slammed into Penny by the thousands as psychic energy gathered. A constant roll of words fell from her tongue, but without his implant, they were not translated.
Missiles crumbled into dust. Lasers impacted raw space in front of Penny before bending down and back to their origins, destroying automated turrets. Bullets still hit Penny and the Guides by the thousands, firing too quickly and densely for her to entirely block. But the large ordnance from the gangs continued to work against them.
Penny looked around, confusion evident on her face. But amidst the thousands of wounded and dead Sprilnav falling from the broken windows, Ezeonwha was hidden too well.
Shattering glass could be constantly heard, and he could feel the distant screams in his soul. A bullet smashed into his personal shield again, disabling it. A pulse later, he lost feeling in his legs.
He tried to reach out to her mind, but the war in the mindscape was equally intense. Too many Elders and Guides battling it out along with various suppression artifacts made it all impossible. He could sense Penny's influence, but couldn't directly reach her.
He let out a breath, knowing it to be the final one.
I'm sorry, Penny, Ezeonwha thought.
I wish you luck in the Judgment, and I am sorry I caused this to happen to you.
Penny finally appeared in front of him, eyes wide-
Blood erupted. A searing pain in his head told him his implant had just shorted out. And in the mindscape, he saw a mental attack heading for him, its brutal power evident. He closed his eyes.
2024.05.29 03:44 Smart_Cable_2506 layering brandy tops
i always see people online layer brandy tanks with long/short sleeve tops underneath and it looks so cute! but every time i have tried to do this myself it ends up looking lumpy and not right. has anyone here actually done this and it looked cute?
submitted by Smart_Cable_2506 to BrandyMelville [link] [comments]
2024.05.29 03:42 thesummerstorms What's a low maintenance hair cut for frizzy, thick (possibly wavy?) hair
 | First photo is second day after washing with no product or styling at all; I've been at home with it in a scrunchie. Second photo is straightened for a work meeting to show length, but it was already starting to frizz up top. Third photo is from around noon one day of our last week teaching, air dryed and pulled in a claw clip because I had no more fucks to give, but shows the amount of frizz I deal with. Very round face beneath the parts that are black out. submitted by thesummerstorms to Hair [link] [comments] I've finally scheduled a hair cut after two years, and the first not at-home or chop shop cut Ive had since 2019. (My old place shut down during Covid and never reopened.) The trouble is I'm not even sure what to ask for? The home hair cut and chop shop cut before this I just told them to cut it straight across at the shoulders, no layering, both because I didn't trust them that much and because I'm still traumatized from growing out a very ill advised pixie cut as a teenager. But if I'm going to a professional and paying professional prices, Id like to ask for something better. My hair is super thick (every stylist I've ever had has remarked on it), frizzes at the drop of a dime, and is maybe slightly wavy? I know I want it at least cut to the shoulders because I am already dying in the Texas weather and it's only May. My mother kept me in a chin length bob until I was old enough to make my own decisions, and still insists it's the only thing that looks good on me, but my experience styling it as a teenager was that unless it was blow-dryer perfectly or attacked with a curler after, random pieces flipped out in opposite directions. I'm also not sure if I should ask the stylist about trying to bring out the wavy texture somehow? It looks wavy to me, but my coworker with actually curly hair just kind of rolled her eyes at me, and so far no drug store products have worked to make the waves more defined. Do I actually have enough wave for it to matter? And if this wasn't picky/specific enough (sorry!) I'm also... Kind of cheap and lazy. I don't want a huge routine every day, especially when we get back to August and I start dealing with teenagers at 7:45 am. Straightening my hair is... Okay ish depending on humidity, but I hate even doing that more than once every two weeks or so. I just kind of know I wont stick to anything super elaborate. Tl;Dr: should I just keep saying "chop it off straight across at the shoulders" or is there a specific medium hair style that will look nice despite ridiculously frizzy hair and with low effort? |
2024.05.29 03:40 corybear0208 Need advice on gender affirming haircut!!
Heyy I'm just a trans guy (18), looking for a bit of advice.. for context I've been out of the closet since i was 15, and i got my first gender affirming haircut when I was 16. I just snipped it and it was just super short with no style really.. I tried a few different haircuts since then, mostly just the same thing at different lengths with a bit more layers... the most recent haircut I had was about a year ago now. I got a mullet and it's very outgrown now. I've been wanting to get another gender affirming haircut because my hair has been giving me a lot of dysphoria lately bc of how long it is. The thing is, I have two options and I cannot for the life of me decide which one I want. I've been thinking about it for 2 months straight now and it's still killing me. Here are my options: 1. Another mullet, but make it more punk and 80s style which I REALLY want. Like I want to look more punk SO BAD. And I really really love vintage style anything. It would be so me. I would love it. I would dye it as well which is something I also really really want. BUT. I have autism and have a ton of sensory issues as well. I'm constantly trying to get my hair off of my neck cuz it's too short for a ponytail and it just bothers me all the time. Which brings me to my other choice: 2. A buzz cut. I know it's extreme but I have good reason. It would cure my sensory issues with my hair IMMEDIATELY. which would be heaven oml. And plus, I've kind of always wanted to buzz my hair since I came out. My mom was never supportive and she hated the idea of me getting a buzzcut so if I got one it would feel amazing to heal with that. The only thing is, I would have to wait a lot longer to grow out my hair again and get it cut to the mullet I want... so like I should just wait right? But it's also getting close to summer and it's hot and I don't want hair on my neck... but like... punk ass mullet... HELP đđđđ
submitted by corybear0208 to trans [link] [comments]
2024.05.29 03:33 Livvypieheart5 getting a haircut soon! any tips?
 | Hii! Like I said in the title, I am planning on getting a haircut soon. I definitely have some dead ends, so I will be cutting those off. But other than that, my hair really lacks volume, and doesn't curl at the top. I have fine hair, so I think this credits for my lack of volume. I have seen some people recommend getting long layers with a short top layer for a voluminous, round shape, but I've also seen some recommend round layers with a V or U shape. I've never gotten layers, and I don't know anyone with similar hair to me irl, so I figured maybe someone here can help. Would layers be the right choice for me? Are layers flattering on fine curly hair? Should I follow one of these suggestions, if so which one? Or should I go in a different direction entirely? submitted by Livvypieheart5 to curlyhair [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/v8opothzq93d1.jpg?width=2316&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d7ebe118b4e8fba9a8bbcff60205c35d1212d2e8 |
2024.05.29 03:27 andruOasis Oasis Q&A: April '24
Hello everyone, your April Q&A is here! It was a busy month for Oasis. We tried to pick the best questions from the community for the month, and here they are!
Q: What were the daily txs like in March?
A: On Sapphire Mainnet, daily transactions varied from 35k to 50k, peaking at 67,431 on March 18. Emerald Mainnet saw daily transactions ranging from 3k to 6k, peaking at 10,305 on March 15.
Q: What were the highlights of the new Oasis Core 23.0.10 release?
A: The Oasis Core 23.0.10 release included bug fixes and improvements to DCAP-based remote attestation for confidential compute runtimes. It also proposed a new storage layout called PathBadger and added several new features for future releases. Itâs technical, but exciting!
Q: What was proposed in the new ADR-24 for Oasis?
A: Great question! The new ADR-24 proposed the architecture of Runtime Off-chain Logic (ROFL), aiming to integrate confidential off-chain enclaves with on-chain smart contracts for applications like trusted off-chain oracles, high-performance computing, AI, and gaming.
Q: What is ROFL and how does it extend the capabilities of decentralized runtimes?
A: ROFL (Runtime Off-chain Logic) is a framework that extends runtimes like Sapphire to support off-chain components. It allows for complex, non-deterministic computations and access to remote network resources while maintaining verifiability and confidentiality.
Q: What role does the Runtime OFf-chain Logic (ROFL) play in Oasisâs ecosystem?
A: ROFL adds confidential computing support for off-chain components, enabling secure, non-deterministic behavior and maintaining confidentiality and runtime integrity for AI pipelines within the Oasis ecosystem.
Q: What new possibilities does ROFL open up?
A: ROFL enables autonomous AI agents, decentralized and responsible AI training, oracles, bridges, light clients, intent solvers, chain abstraction, and enhanced defense for decentralized sequencers and ZK-provers.
Q: How is Oasis supporting the development of AI dApps?
A: Oasis is enhancing its support for developers by offering features that deliver programmable confidentiality, enabling the creation of decentralized AI dApps that ensure user privacy. Confidential and secure computing is a huge part of the next generation of AI.
Q: What is Ocean Predictoor and how does it utilize Oasis technology?
A: Ocean Predictoor is a prediction market dApp developed on Oasis Sapphire, leveraging its confidentiality features to secure the execution of AI-powered on-chain marketplaces, thus protecting user data from exposure. Try it today!
Q: How does Oasis address the need for confidentiality in AI model training and inference?
A: Oasis uses Trusted Execution Environments (TEEs) to ensure that AI model training and inference algorithms run in encrypted memory, protecting them from tampering and ensuring confidentiality.
Q: Why did deltaDAO choose Oasis for Pontus-X?
A: Pontus-X leverages Oasisâs separated consensus and compute layers to transform how businesses monetize AI and data products, breaking down data silos and preserving control and privacy. Itâs very exciting!
Q: What is Smart Privacy, and why is it important?
A: Smart Privacy is the use of decentralized confidential computing technologies to protect data privacy and enable self-sovereignty. It's important because privacy is essential for useful decentralization and the secure execution of many applications. Smart Privacy refers to the customizable confidentiality Oasis offers dApps and developers.
Q: How does Oasis protect Web2 assets in Web3?
A: Oasis protects Web2 assets in Web3 by providing on-chain verifiability and programmable confidentiality, ensuring secure integration and operation. Many services and assets in Web2 require confidentiality, and Oasis provides this in an EVM compatible way.
Q: What fundamental principle does Oasis stand for?
A: Oasis stands for privacy as a basic human right, advocating for a decentralized, private, and self-sovereign digital future. And we will die on this hill!
Q: What is decentralized confidential computation and why is it important?
A: Decentralized confidential computation ensures that computations are performed correctly and verifiably without exposing sensitive data. This is crucial for maintaining trust and enabling secure decentralized applications, and itâs something only Oasis can do in an EVM environment.
Q: Why is privacy a prerequisite for useful decentralization?
A: Privacy is essential because it enables the secure execution of sensitive operations such as sealed-bid auctions, private voting, AI training on private data sets, and private intents, which would otherwise be difficult or impossible to achieve in a decentralized way.
Q: What are Oasisâs thoughts on the future of decentralized confidential computing?
A: Technological advancements are extending trustless computation into new areas, but maintaining the Web3 ethos of decentralization is crucial. Oasis ensures verifiability and confidentiality, opening endless possibilities for decentralized applications. The call to action is to leverage these capabilities to build innovative solutions in Web3.
Q: Does Oasis have more partnerships lined up?
A: Of course we do! Oasis is always working hard at conferences, fielding for new projects to either integrate us or build natively on Sapphire. We also reach out to teams in various other ways. The Oasis BD team is round the clock!
Q: Will the Oasis ambassador program start recruiting again soon?
A: Yes! Our ambassador program is gearing up for a new cohort in June, where weâll begin taking in new applications. So stay tuned!
Q: Is it possible to join the team from the ambassador program?
A: Absolutely. Many Oasis team members started out as ambassadors, and we are always looking for new talent to join our team and help us in the mission of bringing privacy to Web3.
Thank you all!! We look forward to hearing more of your questions, and will be back shortly with another Q&A for the month of May.
https://preview.redd.it/o8ydvyk1q93d1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=f12bb3c48e625f131a73fe67928a06702b6d5541
submitted by andruOasis to oasisnetwork [link] [comments]
Q: What were the daily txs like in March?
A: On Sapphire Mainnet, daily transactions varied from 35k to 50k, peaking at 67,431 on March 18. Emerald Mainnet saw daily transactions ranging from 3k to 6k, peaking at 10,305 on March 15.
Q: What were the highlights of the new Oasis Core 23.0.10 release?
A: The Oasis Core 23.0.10 release included bug fixes and improvements to DCAP-based remote attestation for confidential compute runtimes. It also proposed a new storage layout called PathBadger and added several new features for future releases. Itâs technical, but exciting!
Q: What was proposed in the new ADR-24 for Oasis?
A: Great question! The new ADR-24 proposed the architecture of Runtime Off-chain Logic (ROFL), aiming to integrate confidential off-chain enclaves with on-chain smart contracts for applications like trusted off-chain oracles, high-performance computing, AI, and gaming.
Q: What is ROFL and how does it extend the capabilities of decentralized runtimes?
A: ROFL (Runtime Off-chain Logic) is a framework that extends runtimes like Sapphire to support off-chain components. It allows for complex, non-deterministic computations and access to remote network resources while maintaining verifiability and confidentiality.
Q: What role does the Runtime OFf-chain Logic (ROFL) play in Oasisâs ecosystem?
A: ROFL adds confidential computing support for off-chain components, enabling secure, non-deterministic behavior and maintaining confidentiality and runtime integrity for AI pipelines within the Oasis ecosystem.
Q: What new possibilities does ROFL open up?
A: ROFL enables autonomous AI agents, decentralized and responsible AI training, oracles, bridges, light clients, intent solvers, chain abstraction, and enhanced defense for decentralized sequencers and ZK-provers.
Q: How is Oasis supporting the development of AI dApps?
A: Oasis is enhancing its support for developers by offering features that deliver programmable confidentiality, enabling the creation of decentralized AI dApps that ensure user privacy. Confidential and secure computing is a huge part of the next generation of AI.
Q: What is Ocean Predictoor and how does it utilize Oasis technology?
A: Ocean Predictoor is a prediction market dApp developed on Oasis Sapphire, leveraging its confidentiality features to secure the execution of AI-powered on-chain marketplaces, thus protecting user data from exposure. Try it today!
Q: How does Oasis address the need for confidentiality in AI model training and inference?
A: Oasis uses Trusted Execution Environments (TEEs) to ensure that AI model training and inference algorithms run in encrypted memory, protecting them from tampering and ensuring confidentiality.
Q: Why did deltaDAO choose Oasis for Pontus-X?
A: Pontus-X leverages Oasisâs separated consensus and compute layers to transform how businesses monetize AI and data products, breaking down data silos and preserving control and privacy. Itâs very exciting!
Q: What is Smart Privacy, and why is it important?
A: Smart Privacy is the use of decentralized confidential computing technologies to protect data privacy and enable self-sovereignty. It's important because privacy is essential for useful decentralization and the secure execution of many applications. Smart Privacy refers to the customizable confidentiality Oasis offers dApps and developers.
Q: How does Oasis protect Web2 assets in Web3?
A: Oasis protects Web2 assets in Web3 by providing on-chain verifiability and programmable confidentiality, ensuring secure integration and operation. Many services and assets in Web2 require confidentiality, and Oasis provides this in an EVM compatible way.
Q: What fundamental principle does Oasis stand for?
A: Oasis stands for privacy as a basic human right, advocating for a decentralized, private, and self-sovereign digital future. And we will die on this hill!
Q: What is decentralized confidential computation and why is it important?
A: Decentralized confidential computation ensures that computations are performed correctly and verifiably without exposing sensitive data. This is crucial for maintaining trust and enabling secure decentralized applications, and itâs something only Oasis can do in an EVM environment.
Q: Why is privacy a prerequisite for useful decentralization?
A: Privacy is essential because it enables the secure execution of sensitive operations such as sealed-bid auctions, private voting, AI training on private data sets, and private intents, which would otherwise be difficult or impossible to achieve in a decentralized way.
Q: What are Oasisâs thoughts on the future of decentralized confidential computing?
A: Technological advancements are extending trustless computation into new areas, but maintaining the Web3 ethos of decentralization is crucial. Oasis ensures verifiability and confidentiality, opening endless possibilities for decentralized applications. The call to action is to leverage these capabilities to build innovative solutions in Web3.
Q: Does Oasis have more partnerships lined up?
A: Of course we do! Oasis is always working hard at conferences, fielding for new projects to either integrate us or build natively on Sapphire. We also reach out to teams in various other ways. The Oasis BD team is round the clock!
Q: Will the Oasis ambassador program start recruiting again soon?
A: Yes! Our ambassador program is gearing up for a new cohort in June, where weâll begin taking in new applications. So stay tuned!
Q: Is it possible to join the team from the ambassador program?
A: Absolutely. Many Oasis team members started out as ambassadors, and we are always looking for new talent to join our team and help us in the mission of bringing privacy to Web3.
Thank you all!! We look forward to hearing more of your questions, and will be back shortly with another Q&A for the month of May.
https://preview.redd.it/o8ydvyk1q93d1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=f12bb3c48e625f131a73fe67928a06702b6d5541
2024.05.29 03:22 ideal-raspberry-21 Need help with hair length
I canât share a photo of my face for privacy reasons, but iâm not sure that would be necessary for what iâm asking.
Iâm going in for a haircut soon, and i know for sure iâm going to get it cut shorter, but im not sure to what length. I want to avoid that dreaded awkward length (which i already kind of have), but i donât want it at a bob length. i was thinking just under the shoulders or slightly above the shoulders. i have very thick wavy blonde hair, and iâm looking to get layers and curtain bangs, if that changes anything. Any and all help is appreciated, and if you canât give any recs based on the information provided i do not blame you lol.
TL;DR need hair length recs for wavy thick blonde hair <3
submitted by ideal-raspberry-21 to Hair [link] [comments]
Iâm going in for a haircut soon, and i know for sure iâm going to get it cut shorter, but im not sure to what length. I want to avoid that dreaded awkward length (which i already kind of have), but i donât want it at a bob length. i was thinking just under the shoulders or slightly above the shoulders. i have very thick wavy blonde hair, and iâm looking to get layers and curtain bangs, if that changes anything. Any and all help is appreciated, and if you canât give any recs based on the information provided i do not blame you lol.
TL;DR need hair length recs for wavy thick blonde hair <3
2024.05.29 03:19 Xx_peepee_sexy_xX egg_irl
submitted by Xx_peepee_sexy_xX to egg_irl [link] [comments]
2024.05.29 03:14 redlight886 February 1998 PLAYBOY Interview with Conan O'Brien [additional content]
PLAYBOY Interview With Conan O'Brien Interview by Kevin Cook For Playboy Magazine February 1998
A candid conversation with the preppie prince of "Late Night" about his rocky start, his show's secret one-day cancellation and how David Letterman saved the day.
He was polite. He was funny. He gave us a communicable disease.
At 34 Conan O'Brien is hotter than the fever he was running when we met in his private domain above the "Late Night" sound stage. A gangly freckle-faced ex-high school geek he is "one of TV's hottest properties" according to "People" magazine. The host of "Late Night With Conan O'Brien" has become his generation's king of comedy.
Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. Congested too, but O'Brien has far more to worry about than his head cold. A perfectionist who broods over one bad minute in an otherwise perfect hour of TV, he worries he might be anhedonic, "I have trouble with success," he says, "I was raised to believe that if something good happens something bad is coming." Sure things look good now "Rolling Stone" calls "Late Night" "the hottest comedy show on TV." Ratings are better than ever, particularly among 18- to 34-year-olds, the viewers advertisers crave.
But O'Brien only works harder. Despite his illness he taped two shows in 26 hours on three hours' sleep. He smoothly interviewed Elton John then burst into coughing fits during commercials. Later in his crammed corner office overlooking Manhattan traffic Conan the Cool gulped Dayquil gel caps. He coughed spewing microbes.
"Sorry, sorry," he said. Of course O'Brien can't complain. He came seriously close to falling to being banished behind the scenes as just another failed talk show host.
At his first "Late Night" press conference he corrected a reporter who called him a relative unknown, "Sir I am a complete unknown," he said. That line got a laugh, but soon O'Brien looked doomed. His September 13, 1993 debut began with O'Brien in his dressing room preparing to hang himself only to be interrupted by the start of his show. Before long his career was hanging by a thread. Ratings were terrible. Critics hated the show. Tom Shales of "The Washington Post" called it as "lifeless and messy as roadkill." Shales said O'Brien should quit.
Network officials held urgent meetings discussing the Conan O'Brien debacle. Should they fire him? How should they explain their mistake?
In the end of course he turned it around. The network hung with him long enough for the ratings to improve and the host of the cooler-than-ever "Late Night" now defines comedy's cutting edge just as Letterman did ten years ago.
Even Shales loves "Late Night" these days. He calls O'Brien's turnaround "one of the most amazing transformations in television history."
O'Brien was born on April 18, 1963 in Brookline, Massachusetts. His father, a doctor, is a professor at Harvard Medical School. His mother, a lawyer, is a partner at an elite Boston Law firm. Conan, the third of six children became a lector at church and a misfit at school. Tall and goofy, bedeviled with acne, he tried to impress girls with jokes. That plan usually bombed, but O'Brien eventually found his niche at Harvard where he won the presidency of the "Harvard Lampoon" in 1983 and again in 1984 - the first two-time "Lampoon" president since humorist Robert Benchley held the honor 85 years ago.
After graduating magna cum laude with a double major in literature and American history he turned pro. Writing for HBO's "Not Necessarily The News." O'Brien was earning $100,000 a year before his 24th birthday. But writing was never enough.
He honed his performance skills with the Groundlings, a Los Angeles improv group. There he worked with his onetime girlfriend Lisa Kudrow, now starring on "Friends." But Conan was not such a standout. In 1988 he landed a job at "Saturday Night Live" - but as a writer, not as on-air talent. In almost four years on the show O'Brien made only fleeting appearances, usually as a crowd member or security guard. His writing was more memorable. He wrote (or co-wrote) Tom hanks' "Mr Short-Term Memory" skits as well as the "pump you up" infosatire of Hanz and Franz and the nude beach sketch in which Matthew Broderick and "SNL" members played nudists admiring one another's penises. With dozens of mentions of the word that hit was the most penis-heavy moment in TV history. It helped O'Brien win an Emmy for comedy writing.
In 1991 he quit "SNL" and moved on to "The Simpsons" where he worked for two years. His urge to perform came out in wall-bouncing antics in writers' meetings. "Conan makes you fall out of your chair" said "Simpsons" creator Matt Groening. O'Brien's yen to act out was so strong that he spurned Fox's reported seven-figure offer to continue as a writer. He was driving for the spotlight.
By then David Letterman had announced he was turning shin - leaving NBC taking his ton-rated act to CBS. Suddenly NBC was up a creek without a host. The network turned to Lorne Michaels, O'Brien's "Saturday Night Live" boss. Michaels enlisted Conan's help in the host search planning to use him in a behind-the-scenes job. But when Garry Shandling, Dana Carvey and almost every other star turned down the chore of following Letterman, Michaels finally listened to Conan's crazy suggestion, "Let me do it!" Michaels persuaded the network to entrust it's 12:30 slot which Letterman had turned into a gold mine to an untested wiseass from Harvard.
O'Brien was working on one of his last "Simpsons" episodes when he got the news. He turned "paler than usual," Groening recalled. The Conan moseyed back to where the other writers were working, "I'll come back with the Homer Simspon joke later. I have to go replace Letterman," he said.
NBC executives now get credit for their foresight during those dark days of 1993 and 1994. They snared the axe and now reap the multimillion-dollar spoils of that decision. In fact, the story is not so simple. We sent Contributing Editor Kevin Cook to unravel the tale of O'Brien's survival, which he tells here for the first time. Cook reports:
"His office is chock-full of significa. There's a three-foot plastic pickle the Letterman staff left behind in 1993 - perhaps to suggest what a predicament he was in. There's a copy of Jack Paar's 'I Kid You Not' and a coffee-table book called 'Saturday Night Live: The First 20 Years.' His bulletin board features letters from fans such as John Watters and Bob Dole and an 8" x 10" glossy of Andy Richter with the inscription: "To Conan - Your bitter jealousy warms my black heart. Love and Kisses Andy."
"Of course it's all for show. From the photos of kitch icons Adam West and Robert Stack to the framed Stan Laurel autograph, from the deathbed painting of Abraham Lincoln, to the ironic star taped to Conan's door - they're all clever signals that tell a visitor how to view the star. Lincoln was his collegiate preoccupation: stardom is his occupation. Somewhere between the two I hoped to find the real O'Brien.
"As a Playboy reader he wanted to give me a better-than-average interview. I wanted something more - a definitive look at the guy who may end up being the Johnny Carson of his generation."
"Here's hoping we succeeded. If not I carried his germs 3000 miles and infected dozens of Californians for no good reason.
O'Brien: Yes, this is how to do a Playboy Interview -- completely tanked on cold medicine. I'll pick it up and read, "Yes, I'm gay."
Playboy: We could talk another time. O'Brien: (coughing) No, it's OK. I memorized Dennis Rodman's answers. Can I use them?
Playboy: You sound really sick. Do you ever take a day off? O'Brien: No. The age of talk show hosts taking days off is over. Johnny Carson could go to Africa when he was the only game in town -- "See you in two weeks!" But nobody does that now. I will give you a million dollars on the first day Jay takes off for illness.
Playboy: Do you ever slow down and enjoy your success? O'Brien: If anything, the pace is picking up. Restaurateurs insist on giving me a table even if I'm only passing by, so I'm eating nine meals a night. Women stop me on the street and hand me their phone numbers.
Playboy: So you have groupies? O'Brien: Oh yes. And other fans. Drifters. Prisoners. Insomniacs. Cab Drivers, who must watch a lot of late night TV, seem to love me lately. They keep saying, "You will not pay, you will not pay, you make me happy!"
Playboy: How happy did your new contract make you? O'Brien: Terrified. The network said, "We're all set for five years." I said, "Shut up, shut up! I can't think that far ahead." Tonight, for instance, I do my jokes, then interview Elton John and Tim Meadows. We finished taping about 6:30. By 6:45 my memory was erased and my only thought was, Tomorrow: John Tesh. And I started to obsess about John Tesh. Sad, don't you think?
Playboy: Not too sad. You got off to a rocky start but now you're so hot that People magazine recently said, "that was then, this is wow." O'Brien: I try not to pay much attention. Since I ignored the critics who said I should shoot myself in the head with a German Luger, it would be cheating to tear out nice reviews now and rub them all over my body, giggling. Though I have thought about it.
Playboy: Tell us about your trademark gag. You interview a photo of Bill Clinton or some other celeb, and a pair of superimposed lips provide outrageous answers. O'Brien: We call it the Clutch Cargo bit, after that terrible old cartoon series. They saved money on animation by superimposing real lips on the cartoons. I wanted to do topical jokes in a cartoony way -- not just Conan doing quips at a desk. TV is visual; I want things to look funny. But we're not Saturday Night Live; we couldn't spend $100,000 on it. Hence, the cheap, cheesy lips, You'd be surprised how many people we fool.
Playboy: Viewers believe that's really the president yelling, "Yee-haw! Who's got a joint?" O'Brien: It's strange. You may know intellectually that Clinton doesn't talk like Foghorn Leghorn. Ninety-eight percent of your brain knows the president wouldn't say, "Whoa Conan get a load of that girl!" But there are a few brain cells that aren't sure. When Bob Dole was running for president we had him doing a past-life regression: "My cave, get away." And then back further, "Must form flippers to crawl on to rocky soil," he says. There may be people out there who believe that Bob Dole was the first amphibian.
Playboy: Do you ever go too far? O'Brien: The fun is in going too far. It's a nice device because you get Bill Clinton to do the nastiest Bill Clinton jokes. We'll have Clinton making fart noises while I say "Sir! Please!"
Playboy: Are you enjoying your job now, with your new success? O'Brien: Well, there are surprises. I hate surprises. Like most comics, I'm a control freak. But I am learning that the show works best when things are out of control. Tonight I ask Elton John if he likes being neighbors with Joan Collins. He says he isn't neighbors with Joan Collins. He lives next door to Tina Turner. So I panic -- huge mistake! But Elton saves the day. "Joan Collins, Tina Turner, it doesn't matter. Either way I could borrow a wig," he says. Huge laugh, all because I fucked up. Later he surprised me by blurting out that he's hung like a horse. The camera cuts to me shaking my head: That crazy Elton. What can I do? Of course, I'm delighted that he went too far.
Playboy: That "What can I do?" look resembles a classic take of Jack Benny's. O'Brien: There's an old saying in literature: "Good poets borrow; great poets steal." I think T.S. Eliot stole it from Ezra Pound. Comics steal, too. Constantly. When I watched Johnny Carson, I noticed that he got a few takes from Benny and Bob Hope. When a comedy writer told me how much Woody Allen had borrowed from Hope, I thought, What? They're nothing alike. Then I went back and watched Son of Paleface, and there's Hope, the nervous city guy backing up on his heels, wringing his hands and saying, "Sorry, I'll just be moving along." Now look at early Woody Allen. You see big authority figures and Woody nervously saying, "Look, I'll just be on my way." Of course Woody made it his own, but he must have watched and loved Bob Hope.
Playboy: Who are your role models? O'Brien: Carson. Woody Allen. SCTV. Peter Sellers. When Peter Sellers died I felt such a loss, thinking, There won't be anymore of that. There's some Steve Martin in my false bravado with female guests: "Why, hel-lo there!" And I won't deny having some Letterman in my bones.
Playboy: You were surprise as Letterman's successor. At first you seemed like the wrong choice. O'Brien: I didn't get ratings. That doesn't mean I didn't get laughs. Yes, I had a giant pompadour and I looked like a rockabilly freak. I was too excited, pushed too hard, and people said, "That guy isn't a polished performer." Fine! But it isn't my goal to be Joe Handsomehead cool, smooth talk show host. Late Night with Conan O'Brien is supposed to be a work in progress, and now that we've had some success there's a danger of our getting too polished and morphing into something smoothly professional. Which would suck.
Do you know why I wanted this show? Because Late Night with David Letterman played with the rules and it looked like fun. Here was a place where people did risky comedy every night for millions of people. We had to keep this thing alive. There should be a place on a big network where people are still messing around.
Playboy: How bad were your early days on the show? O'Brien: Bad. Dave left here under a cloud: his fans and the media were angry with NBC. Then NBC picks a guy with crazy hair and a weird name. And the world says, "Harvard? Those guys are assholes." I sincerely hope that the winter of December 1993, our first winter, was the worst time I will ever have. I'd go out to do the warm up and the back two rows of seats would be empty. That's hard to look at. I would tell a joke and then hear someone whisper, "Who's he? Where's Dave?"
Playboy: You had trouble getting guests. O'Brien: Bob Denver canceled on us. We shot a test show with Al Lewis of The Munsters. We did the clutch cargo thing with a photo of Herman Munster. Unfortunately, Fred Gwynne, who played Herman, had recently died, and Al Lewis kept pointing at the screen, saying, "You're dead! I was at your funeral!"
Playboy: For months you got worried notes from network executives. What did they say? O'Brien: They were worried. The fact that Lorne Michaels was involved bought me some time. But Lorne had turned to me at the start and said, "OK, Conan. What do you want to do?" Now television critics were after me and the network was starting to realize what a risk I was. Suggestions came fast and furious. I kept the note that said, "Why don't you just die?"
Playboy: Did they suggest ways to be funnier? O'Brien: They were more specific and tactical. The network gets very specific data. Say there was a drop in ratings between 12:44 and 12:48 when I was talking to Jon Bon Jovi. I'll be told, "Don't ever talk to him again" Or they'll want me to tease viewers into staying with us: "You should tease that -- say, 'We'll have nudity coming up next!'"
Playboy: You did come close to being cancelled. O'Brien: We were cancelled.
Playboy: Really? You have never admitted that. O'Brien: This is the first time I've talked about it. When I had been on for about a year, there was a meeting at the network. They decided to cancel my show. They said, "It's cancelled." Next day they realized they had nothing to put in the 12:30 slot, so we got a reprieve.
Playboy: Were you worried sick? O'Brien: I went into denial. I tried hard not to think, Yes, I'm bad on the air and my show has none of the things a TV show needs to survive. We had no ratings. No critics in our corner. Advertisers didn't like us. Affiliates wanted to drop us. Sometimes I'd meet a programming director from a local station where we had no rating at all. The guy would show me a printout with no number for Late Night's rating, just a hash mark or pound sign. I didn't dare think about that when I went out to do the show.
Playboy: Are you defending denial? O'Brien: How else does anyone get through a terrible experience? The odds were against me. Rationally, I didn't have much chance. Denial was my only friend. When I look back on the first year, it's like a scene from an old war movie: Ordinary guy gets thrown into combat, somehow beats impossible odds, staggers to safety. His buddy say, "You could have been killed!" The guy stops and thinks. "Could have been killed?" he says. His eyes cross and he faints.
Playboy: How did you dodge the bullet? O'Brien: There were people at NBC who stood up for me. I will always be indebted to Don Ohlmeyer, who stuck to his guns. Don said, "We chose this guy. We should stick with him unless we get a better plan." He was brutally honest. He came to me and said, "Give me about a 15 percent bump in the ratings and you'll stay on the air. If not, we're going to move on."
Playboy: Ohlmeyer started his career in the sports division. O'Brien: Exactly, his take was, "You're on our team." Of course, it wasn't exactly rational of Don to hope I'd be 15 percent funnier. It was like telling a farmer, "It better rain this week or we'll take your farm away."
Playboy: What did you say to Ohlmeyer? O'Brien: There wasn't time. I had to go out and do a monologue. But I will always be indebted to Don because he told me the truth. Wait a minute -- you have tricked me into talking lovingly about an NBC executive. Let me say that there were others who were beneath contempt -- executives who wouldn't know a good show if it swam up their asses and lit a campfire.
Playboy: Finally the ratings went your way. Hard work rewarded? O'Brien: Well, I also paid off the Nielsen people. That was $140,000 well spent.
Playboy: Ohlmeyer plus bribery saved you? O'Brien: There was something else. Just when everyone was kicking the crap out of the show, Letterman defended me.
Playboy: Letterman had signed off on NBC saying, "I don't really know Conan O'Brien, but I heard he killed someone." O'Brien: Then I pick up the paper and he's saying he thinks I am going to make it. "They do some interesting, innovative stuff over there," he says. "I think Conan will prevail." And then he came on as a guest. Remember, this was when we were at our nadir. There was no Machiavellian reason for David Letterman, who at the time was the biggest thing in show business, to be on my show.
Playboy: Why did he do it? O'Brien: I'm still not sure. Maybe out of a sense of honor. Fair play. And it woke me up. It made me think. Hey, we have a real fucking television show here.
Of six or seven pivotal points in my short history here, that was the first and maybe the biggest. I wouldn't be sitting here -- I probably wouldn't even exist today -- if he hadn't done our show.
Playboy: The Late Night wars were hardly noted for friendly gestures. O'Brien: How little you understand. Jay, Dave and I pal around all the time. We often ride a bicycle built for three up to the country. "Nice job with Fran Drescher!" "Thanks, pal. You weren't so bad with John Tesh." We sleep in triple-decker bunk beds and snore in unison like the Three Stooges.
Playboy: You talk more about Letterman than your NBC teammate Leno. O'Brien: I hate the "Leno or Letterman, who's better?" question. I can tell you that Jay has been great to me. He calls me occasionally.
Playboy: To say what? O'Brien: (Doing Leno's voice) "Hey, liked that bit you did last night." Or he'll say he saw we got a good rating. I call him at work, too. It can be a strange conversation because we're so different. Jay, for instance, really loves cars. He's got antique cars with kerosene lanterns, cars that run on peat moss. He'll be telling me about some classic car he has, made entirely of brass and leather, and I'll say, "Yeah, man, I got the Taurus with the vinyl." One thing we have in common is bad guests. There are certain actors, celebrities with nothing to say, who move through the talk show world wreaking havoc. They lay waste to Dave's town and Jay's town, then head my way.
Playboy: You must be getting some good guests. Your ratings have shown a marked improvement. O'Brien: Remember, when you're on at 12:30 the Nielsens are based on 80 people. My ratings drop if one person has a head cold and goes to bed early.
Playboy: Actually, you're seen by about 3 million people a night. Your ratings would be even higher if college dorms weren't excluded from the Nielsens. How many points does that cost you? O'Brien: I told you I'm an idiot. Now I have to do math too?
Playboy: Do you still get suggestions from NBC executives? O'Brien: Not as many. The number of notes you get is inversely proportional to your ratings.
Playboy: What keeps you motivated? O'Brien: Superstition. We have a stagehand, Bobby Bowman, who holds up the curtain when I run out for the monologue. He is the last person I see before the show starts, and I have to make him laugh before I go out. It started with mild jabs: "Bobby, you're drunk again." Bobby laughs, "Heehee."" Then it was, "Still having trouble with the wife, Bobby?" But after hundreds of shows, you find yourself running out of lines. It's gotten to where I do crass things at the last second. I'll put his hand on my ass and yell, "You fucking pervert!" Or drop to my knees and say, "Come on, Bobby, I'll give you a blow job!"
"Ha-ha. Conan, you're crazy," he says. But even that stuff wears off. Soon, I'll be making the writers work late to give me new jokes for Bobby.
Playboy: Did you plan to be a talk show host or did you fall into the job? O'Brien: I was an Irish Catholic kid from St. Ignatius parish in Brookline, outside of Boston. And that meant: Don't call attention to yourself. Don't ask for too much when the pie comes around. Don't get a girl pregnant and fuck up your life.
Playboy: Were you an alter boy? O'Brien: I wanted to be an alter boy, but the priest at St. Ignatius said, "No, no. You're good on your feet, kid," and made me a lector. A scripture reader at Mass. He was the one who spotted my talent.
Playboy: What did you think of sex in those days? O'Brien: I was sexually repressed. At 16 I still thought human reproduction was by mitosis.
Playboy: How did you get over your sexual repression? O'Brien: Who says I got over it? My leg has been jiggling this whole time.
Playboy: What were you like in high school? O'Brien: Like a crane galumphing down the hall. A crane with weird hair, bad skin and Clearasil. Big enough for basketball but lousy at it. My older brothers were better. I would compensate by running around the court doing comedy, saying, "Look out, this player has a drug addiction. He's incredibly egotistical."
I was an asshole at home, too. My little brother Justin loved playing cops and robbers, but I kept tying him up with bureaucratic bullshit. When he'd catch me, I'd say, "I get to call my lawyer." Then it was, "OK, Justin, we're at trial and you've been charged with illegal arrest. Fill out these forms in triplicate." Justin was eight; he hated all the lawsuits and countersuits. He just cried.
Playboy: Were you a class clown? O'Brien: Never. I was never someone who walked into a room full of strangers and started telling jokes. You had to get to know me before I could make you laugh. The same thing happened with Late Night. I needed to get the right rhythm with Andy and Max and the audience.
Playboy: So how did you finally learn about sex? O'Brien: My parents gave me a book, but it was useless. At the crucial moment, all it showed was a man and a woman with the bed covers pulled up to their chins. I tried to find out more from friends, but it didn't help. One childhood friend told me it was like parking a car in a garage. I kept worrying about poisonous fumes. What if the fumes build up? Should you shut off the engine?
Playboy: For all your talk about being repressed, you can be rowdy on the air. O'Brien: The show is my escape valve. When I tear off my shirt and gyrate my pelvis like Robert Plant, feigning orgasm into the microphone, that shows how repressed I am -- a guy who wants to push his sex at the lens but can only do it as a joke.
Playboy: Aren't you tempted to live it up? O'Brien: I always imagined that if I were a TV star I would live the way I pictured Johnny Carson living. Carousing, stepping out of a limo wearing a velvet ascot with a model on my arm. Now that I have the TV show, I drive up to Connecticut on the weekends and tool around in my car. I could probably join a free-sex cult, smoke crack between orgies and drive sports cars into swimming pools, and my Catholic guilt would still be there, throbbing like a toothache. Be careful. If something good happens, something bad is on the way.
Playboy: Yet you don't mind licking the supermodels. O'Brien: At one point a few of them lived in my building, women who are so beautiful they almost look weird, like aliens. To me, a woman who has a certain approachable amount of beauty becomes almost funny. It's the same with male supermodels. They look like big puppets. So while I admire their beauty I probably won't be "romantically linked" with a model. I'd catch my reflection in a ballroom mirror and break up laughing.
Playboy: The horny Roy Orbison growl you use on gorgeous guests sounds real enough -- O'Brien: Oh, I've been doing that shit since high school. It just never worked before.
Playboy: Your father is a doctor, your mother an attorney. What do they think of their son the comedian? O'Brien: My dad was the one who told me denial was a virtue. "Denial is how people get through horrible things," he said. He also cut out a newspaper article in which I said I was making money off something for which I should probably be treated. So true, he thought. But when I got an Emmy for helping write Saturday Night Live, my parents put it on the mantel next to the crucifix. Here's Jesus looking over, saying, "Wow, I saved mankind from sin, but I wish I had an Emmy."
Playboy: Ever been in therapy? O'Brien: Yes. I don't trust it. I have told therapists that I don't particularly want to feel good. "Repression and fear, that's my fuel." But the therapists said that I had nothing to worry about. "Don't worry Conan you will always be plenty fucked up."
Playboy: When a female guest comes out, how do you know whether to shake her hand or kiss her? Is that rehearsed O'Brien: No, and it's awkward. If you go to shake her hand and her head starts coming right at you, you have to change strategy fast. I have thought about using the show to make women kiss me, but that would probably creep out the people at home. I decided not to kiss Elton John.
Playboy: Do you get all fired up if Cindy Crawford or Rebecca Romijn does the show? O'Brien: I like making women laugh. Always have, ever since I discovered you can get girls' attention by acting like an ass. That's one of the joys of the show -- I'm working my eyebrows and going grrr and she's laughing, the audience is laughing. It's all a big put-on and I'm thinking. This is great. Here is a beautiful woman who has no choice but to put up with this shit.
But it's not always put on. Sometimes they flirt back. Sometimes there's a bit of chemistry. That happened with Jennifer Connelly of The Rocketeer.
Playboy: One guest, Jill Hennessy, took off her pants for you. Then you removed yours. Even Penn and Teller took off their pants. O'Brien: Something comes over me. It happened with Rebecca Romijn -- I was practically climbing her. Those are the times when Andy and the audience seem to disappear and it's just me and this lovely woman sitting there flirting. I keep expecting a waiter to say, "More wine, Monsieur?"
Playboy: Would you lick the wine bottle? O'Brien: It's true, there's a lot of licking on the show. I have licked guests. I have licked Andy. Comedy professionals will read this and say, "Great work, Conan. Impressive." But I have learned that if you lick a guest, people laugh. If I pick this shoe off the floor, examine it, Hmmm, and then lick it, people laugh. I learned this lesson on The Simpsons, where I was the writer who was forever trying to entertain the other writers. I still try desperately to make our writers laugh, which is probably a sign of sickness since they work for me now. Licking is one of those things that look funny.
Playboy: Johnny Carson never licked Ed McMahon. O'Brien: We are much more physical and more stupid than the old Tonight Show. Even in our offices before the show there's always some writer acting out a scene crashing his head through my door. A behind-the-scenes look at our show might frighten people.
Playboy: One night you showed a doctored photo of Craig T. Nelson having sex with Jerry Van Dyke. Did they complain about it? O'Brien: I haven't heard from them. Of course I'm blessed not to be a part of the celebrity pond. I have a television show in New York, an NBC outpost. I don't run with or even run into many Hollywood people.
Playboy: You also announced that Tori Spelling has a penis. O'Brien: I did not. Polly the Peacock said that.
Playboy: Another character you use to say the outrageous stuff. O'Brien: Polly is not popular with the network.
Playboy: You mock Fabio, too. O'Brien: If he sues me, it'll be the best thing that ever happened. A publicity bonanza: Courtroom sketches of Fabio with his man-boobs quivering, shaking his fist, and me shouting at him across the courtroom. I'm not afraid of Fabio. He knows where to find me. I'm saying it right here for the record: Fabio, let's get it on.
Playboy: Ever have a run-in with an angry celeb? O'Brien: I did a Kelsey Grammar joke a few years ago, something about his interesting lifestyle, then heard through the network that he was upset. He had appeared on my show and expected some support. At this point my intellect says, "Kelsey Grammar is a public figure. I was in the right." Then I saw him in an airport. Kelsey didn't see me at first: I could have kept walking. But there he was, eating a cruller in the airport lounge. I thought I should go over. I said hello and then said, "Kelsey, I'm sorry if I upset you." And he was glad. He looked relieved. He said, "Oh, that's OK." We both felt better.
....See my other post with the last third of the interview
submitted by redlight886 to conan [link] [comments]
A candid conversation with the preppie prince of "Late Night" about his rocky start, his show's secret one-day cancellation and how David Letterman saved the day.
He was polite. He was funny. He gave us a communicable disease.
At 34 Conan O'Brien is hotter than the fever he was running when we met in his private domain above the "Late Night" sound stage. A gangly freckle-faced ex-high school geek he is "one of TV's hottest properties" according to "People" magazine. The host of "Late Night With Conan O'Brien" has become his generation's king of comedy.
Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. Congested too, but O'Brien has far more to worry about than his head cold. A perfectionist who broods over one bad minute in an otherwise perfect hour of TV, he worries he might be anhedonic, "I have trouble with success," he says, "I was raised to believe that if something good happens something bad is coming." Sure things look good now "Rolling Stone" calls "Late Night" "the hottest comedy show on TV." Ratings are better than ever, particularly among 18- to 34-year-olds, the viewers advertisers crave.
But O'Brien only works harder. Despite his illness he taped two shows in 26 hours on three hours' sleep. He smoothly interviewed Elton John then burst into coughing fits during commercials. Later in his crammed corner office overlooking Manhattan traffic Conan the Cool gulped Dayquil gel caps. He coughed spewing microbes.
"Sorry, sorry," he said. Of course O'Brien can't complain. He came seriously close to falling to being banished behind the scenes as just another failed talk show host.
At his first "Late Night" press conference he corrected a reporter who called him a relative unknown, "Sir I am a complete unknown," he said. That line got a laugh, but soon O'Brien looked doomed. His September 13, 1993 debut began with O'Brien in his dressing room preparing to hang himself only to be interrupted by the start of his show. Before long his career was hanging by a thread. Ratings were terrible. Critics hated the show. Tom Shales of "The Washington Post" called it as "lifeless and messy as roadkill." Shales said O'Brien should quit.
Network officials held urgent meetings discussing the Conan O'Brien debacle. Should they fire him? How should they explain their mistake?
In the end of course he turned it around. The network hung with him long enough for the ratings to improve and the host of the cooler-than-ever "Late Night" now defines comedy's cutting edge just as Letterman did ten years ago.
Even Shales loves "Late Night" these days. He calls O'Brien's turnaround "one of the most amazing transformations in television history."
O'Brien was born on April 18, 1963 in Brookline, Massachusetts. His father, a doctor, is a professor at Harvard Medical School. His mother, a lawyer, is a partner at an elite Boston Law firm. Conan, the third of six children became a lector at church and a misfit at school. Tall and goofy, bedeviled with acne, he tried to impress girls with jokes. That plan usually bombed, but O'Brien eventually found his niche at Harvard where he won the presidency of the "Harvard Lampoon" in 1983 and again in 1984 - the first two-time "Lampoon" president since humorist Robert Benchley held the honor 85 years ago.
After graduating magna cum laude with a double major in literature and American history he turned pro. Writing for HBO's "Not Necessarily The News." O'Brien was earning $100,000 a year before his 24th birthday. But writing was never enough.
He honed his performance skills with the Groundlings, a Los Angeles improv group. There he worked with his onetime girlfriend Lisa Kudrow, now starring on "Friends." But Conan was not such a standout. In 1988 he landed a job at "Saturday Night Live" - but as a writer, not as on-air talent. In almost four years on the show O'Brien made only fleeting appearances, usually as a crowd member or security guard. His writing was more memorable. He wrote (or co-wrote) Tom hanks' "Mr Short-Term Memory" skits as well as the "pump you up" infosatire of Hanz and Franz and the nude beach sketch in which Matthew Broderick and "SNL" members played nudists admiring one another's penises. With dozens of mentions of the word that hit was the most penis-heavy moment in TV history. It helped O'Brien win an Emmy for comedy writing.
In 1991 he quit "SNL" and moved on to "The Simpsons" where he worked for two years. His urge to perform came out in wall-bouncing antics in writers' meetings. "Conan makes you fall out of your chair" said "Simpsons" creator Matt Groening. O'Brien's yen to act out was so strong that he spurned Fox's reported seven-figure offer to continue as a writer. He was driving for the spotlight.
By then David Letterman had announced he was turning shin - leaving NBC taking his ton-rated act to CBS. Suddenly NBC was up a creek without a host. The network turned to Lorne Michaels, O'Brien's "Saturday Night Live" boss. Michaels enlisted Conan's help in the host search planning to use him in a behind-the-scenes job. But when Garry Shandling, Dana Carvey and almost every other star turned down the chore of following Letterman, Michaels finally listened to Conan's crazy suggestion, "Let me do it!" Michaels persuaded the network to entrust it's 12:30 slot which Letterman had turned into a gold mine to an untested wiseass from Harvard.
O'Brien was working on one of his last "Simpsons" episodes when he got the news. He turned "paler than usual," Groening recalled. The Conan moseyed back to where the other writers were working, "I'll come back with the Homer Simspon joke later. I have to go replace Letterman," he said.
NBC executives now get credit for their foresight during those dark days of 1993 and 1994. They snared the axe and now reap the multimillion-dollar spoils of that decision. In fact, the story is not so simple. We sent Contributing Editor Kevin Cook to unravel the tale of O'Brien's survival, which he tells here for the first time. Cook reports:
"His office is chock-full of significa. There's a three-foot plastic pickle the Letterman staff left behind in 1993 - perhaps to suggest what a predicament he was in. There's a copy of Jack Paar's 'I Kid You Not' and a coffee-table book called 'Saturday Night Live: The First 20 Years.' His bulletin board features letters from fans such as John Watters and Bob Dole and an 8" x 10" glossy of Andy Richter with the inscription: "To Conan - Your bitter jealousy warms my black heart. Love and Kisses Andy."
"Of course it's all for show. From the photos of kitch icons Adam West and Robert Stack to the framed Stan Laurel autograph, from the deathbed painting of Abraham Lincoln, to the ironic star taped to Conan's door - they're all clever signals that tell a visitor how to view the star. Lincoln was his collegiate preoccupation: stardom is his occupation. Somewhere between the two I hoped to find the real O'Brien.
"As a Playboy reader he wanted to give me a better-than-average interview. I wanted something more - a definitive look at the guy who may end up being the Johnny Carson of his generation."
"Here's hoping we succeeded. If not I carried his germs 3000 miles and infected dozens of Californians for no good reason.
O'Brien: Yes, this is how to do a Playboy Interview -- completely tanked on cold medicine. I'll pick it up and read, "Yes, I'm gay."
Playboy: We could talk another time. O'Brien: (coughing) No, it's OK. I memorized Dennis Rodman's answers. Can I use them?
Playboy: You sound really sick. Do you ever take a day off? O'Brien: No. The age of talk show hosts taking days off is over. Johnny Carson could go to Africa when he was the only game in town -- "See you in two weeks!" But nobody does that now. I will give you a million dollars on the first day Jay takes off for illness.
Playboy: Do you ever slow down and enjoy your success? O'Brien: If anything, the pace is picking up. Restaurateurs insist on giving me a table even if I'm only passing by, so I'm eating nine meals a night. Women stop me on the street and hand me their phone numbers.
Playboy: So you have groupies? O'Brien: Oh yes. And other fans. Drifters. Prisoners. Insomniacs. Cab Drivers, who must watch a lot of late night TV, seem to love me lately. They keep saying, "You will not pay, you will not pay, you make me happy!"
Playboy: How happy did your new contract make you? O'Brien: Terrified. The network said, "We're all set for five years." I said, "Shut up, shut up! I can't think that far ahead." Tonight, for instance, I do my jokes, then interview Elton John and Tim Meadows. We finished taping about 6:30. By 6:45 my memory was erased and my only thought was, Tomorrow: John Tesh. And I started to obsess about John Tesh. Sad, don't you think?
Playboy: Not too sad. You got off to a rocky start but now you're so hot that People magazine recently said, "that was then, this is wow." O'Brien: I try not to pay much attention. Since I ignored the critics who said I should shoot myself in the head with a German Luger, it would be cheating to tear out nice reviews now and rub them all over my body, giggling. Though I have thought about it.
Playboy: Tell us about your trademark gag. You interview a photo of Bill Clinton or some other celeb, and a pair of superimposed lips provide outrageous answers. O'Brien: We call it the Clutch Cargo bit, after that terrible old cartoon series. They saved money on animation by superimposing real lips on the cartoons. I wanted to do topical jokes in a cartoony way -- not just Conan doing quips at a desk. TV is visual; I want things to look funny. But we're not Saturday Night Live; we couldn't spend $100,000 on it. Hence, the cheap, cheesy lips, You'd be surprised how many people we fool.
Playboy: Viewers believe that's really the president yelling, "Yee-haw! Who's got a joint?" O'Brien: It's strange. You may know intellectually that Clinton doesn't talk like Foghorn Leghorn. Ninety-eight percent of your brain knows the president wouldn't say, "Whoa Conan get a load of that girl!" But there are a few brain cells that aren't sure. When Bob Dole was running for president we had him doing a past-life regression: "My cave, get away." And then back further, "Must form flippers to crawl on to rocky soil," he says. There may be people out there who believe that Bob Dole was the first amphibian.
Playboy: Do you ever go too far? O'Brien: The fun is in going too far. It's a nice device because you get Bill Clinton to do the nastiest Bill Clinton jokes. We'll have Clinton making fart noises while I say "Sir! Please!"
Playboy: Are you enjoying your job now, with your new success? O'Brien: Well, there are surprises. I hate surprises. Like most comics, I'm a control freak. But I am learning that the show works best when things are out of control. Tonight I ask Elton John if he likes being neighbors with Joan Collins. He says he isn't neighbors with Joan Collins. He lives next door to Tina Turner. So I panic -- huge mistake! But Elton saves the day. "Joan Collins, Tina Turner, it doesn't matter. Either way I could borrow a wig," he says. Huge laugh, all because I fucked up. Later he surprised me by blurting out that he's hung like a horse. The camera cuts to me shaking my head: That crazy Elton. What can I do? Of course, I'm delighted that he went too far.
Playboy: That "What can I do?" look resembles a classic take of Jack Benny's. O'Brien: There's an old saying in literature: "Good poets borrow; great poets steal." I think T.S. Eliot stole it from Ezra Pound. Comics steal, too. Constantly. When I watched Johnny Carson, I noticed that he got a few takes from Benny and Bob Hope. When a comedy writer told me how much Woody Allen had borrowed from Hope, I thought, What? They're nothing alike. Then I went back and watched Son of Paleface, and there's Hope, the nervous city guy backing up on his heels, wringing his hands and saying, "Sorry, I'll just be moving along." Now look at early Woody Allen. You see big authority figures and Woody nervously saying, "Look, I'll just be on my way." Of course Woody made it his own, but he must have watched and loved Bob Hope.
Playboy: Who are your role models? O'Brien: Carson. Woody Allen. SCTV. Peter Sellers. When Peter Sellers died I felt such a loss, thinking, There won't be anymore of that. There's some Steve Martin in my false bravado with female guests: "Why, hel-lo there!" And I won't deny having some Letterman in my bones.
Playboy: You were surprise as Letterman's successor. At first you seemed like the wrong choice. O'Brien: I didn't get ratings. That doesn't mean I didn't get laughs. Yes, I had a giant pompadour and I looked like a rockabilly freak. I was too excited, pushed too hard, and people said, "That guy isn't a polished performer." Fine! But it isn't my goal to be Joe Handsomehead cool, smooth talk show host. Late Night with Conan O'Brien is supposed to be a work in progress, and now that we've had some success there's a danger of our getting too polished and morphing into something smoothly professional. Which would suck.
Do you know why I wanted this show? Because Late Night with David Letterman played with the rules and it looked like fun. Here was a place where people did risky comedy every night for millions of people. We had to keep this thing alive. There should be a place on a big network where people are still messing around.
Playboy: How bad were your early days on the show? O'Brien: Bad. Dave left here under a cloud: his fans and the media were angry with NBC. Then NBC picks a guy with crazy hair and a weird name. And the world says, "Harvard? Those guys are assholes." I sincerely hope that the winter of December 1993, our first winter, was the worst time I will ever have. I'd go out to do the warm up and the back two rows of seats would be empty. That's hard to look at. I would tell a joke and then hear someone whisper, "Who's he? Where's Dave?"
Playboy: You had trouble getting guests. O'Brien: Bob Denver canceled on us. We shot a test show with Al Lewis of The Munsters. We did the clutch cargo thing with a photo of Herman Munster. Unfortunately, Fred Gwynne, who played Herman, had recently died, and Al Lewis kept pointing at the screen, saying, "You're dead! I was at your funeral!"
Playboy: For months you got worried notes from network executives. What did they say? O'Brien: They were worried. The fact that Lorne Michaels was involved bought me some time. But Lorne had turned to me at the start and said, "OK, Conan. What do you want to do?" Now television critics were after me and the network was starting to realize what a risk I was. Suggestions came fast and furious. I kept the note that said, "Why don't you just die?"
Playboy: Did they suggest ways to be funnier? O'Brien: They were more specific and tactical. The network gets very specific data. Say there was a drop in ratings between 12:44 and 12:48 when I was talking to Jon Bon Jovi. I'll be told, "Don't ever talk to him again" Or they'll want me to tease viewers into staying with us: "You should tease that -- say, 'We'll have nudity coming up next!'"
Playboy: You did come close to being cancelled. O'Brien: We were cancelled.
Playboy: Really? You have never admitted that. O'Brien: This is the first time I've talked about it. When I had been on for about a year, there was a meeting at the network. They decided to cancel my show. They said, "It's cancelled." Next day they realized they had nothing to put in the 12:30 slot, so we got a reprieve.
Playboy: Were you worried sick? O'Brien: I went into denial. I tried hard not to think, Yes, I'm bad on the air and my show has none of the things a TV show needs to survive. We had no ratings. No critics in our corner. Advertisers didn't like us. Affiliates wanted to drop us. Sometimes I'd meet a programming director from a local station where we had no rating at all. The guy would show me a printout with no number for Late Night's rating, just a hash mark or pound sign. I didn't dare think about that when I went out to do the show.
Playboy: Are you defending denial? O'Brien: How else does anyone get through a terrible experience? The odds were against me. Rationally, I didn't have much chance. Denial was my only friend. When I look back on the first year, it's like a scene from an old war movie: Ordinary guy gets thrown into combat, somehow beats impossible odds, staggers to safety. His buddy say, "You could have been killed!" The guy stops and thinks. "Could have been killed?" he says. His eyes cross and he faints.
Playboy: How did you dodge the bullet? O'Brien: There were people at NBC who stood up for me. I will always be indebted to Don Ohlmeyer, who stuck to his guns. Don said, "We chose this guy. We should stick with him unless we get a better plan." He was brutally honest. He came to me and said, "Give me about a 15 percent bump in the ratings and you'll stay on the air. If not, we're going to move on."
Playboy: Ohlmeyer started his career in the sports division. O'Brien: Exactly, his take was, "You're on our team." Of course, it wasn't exactly rational of Don to hope I'd be 15 percent funnier. It was like telling a farmer, "It better rain this week or we'll take your farm away."
Playboy: What did you say to Ohlmeyer? O'Brien: There wasn't time. I had to go out and do a monologue. But I will always be indebted to Don because he told me the truth. Wait a minute -- you have tricked me into talking lovingly about an NBC executive. Let me say that there were others who were beneath contempt -- executives who wouldn't know a good show if it swam up their asses and lit a campfire.
Playboy: Finally the ratings went your way. Hard work rewarded? O'Brien: Well, I also paid off the Nielsen people. That was $140,000 well spent.
Playboy: Ohlmeyer plus bribery saved you? O'Brien: There was something else. Just when everyone was kicking the crap out of the show, Letterman defended me.
Playboy: Letterman had signed off on NBC saying, "I don't really know Conan O'Brien, but I heard he killed someone." O'Brien: Then I pick up the paper and he's saying he thinks I am going to make it. "They do some interesting, innovative stuff over there," he says. "I think Conan will prevail." And then he came on as a guest. Remember, this was when we were at our nadir. There was no Machiavellian reason for David Letterman, who at the time was the biggest thing in show business, to be on my show.
Playboy: Why did he do it? O'Brien: I'm still not sure. Maybe out of a sense of honor. Fair play. And it woke me up. It made me think. Hey, we have a real fucking television show here.
Of six or seven pivotal points in my short history here, that was the first and maybe the biggest. I wouldn't be sitting here -- I probably wouldn't even exist today -- if he hadn't done our show.
Playboy: The Late Night wars were hardly noted for friendly gestures. O'Brien: How little you understand. Jay, Dave and I pal around all the time. We often ride a bicycle built for three up to the country. "Nice job with Fran Drescher!" "Thanks, pal. You weren't so bad with John Tesh." We sleep in triple-decker bunk beds and snore in unison like the Three Stooges.
Playboy: You talk more about Letterman than your NBC teammate Leno. O'Brien: I hate the "Leno or Letterman, who's better?" question. I can tell you that Jay has been great to me. He calls me occasionally.
Playboy: To say what? O'Brien: (Doing Leno's voice) "Hey, liked that bit you did last night." Or he'll say he saw we got a good rating. I call him at work, too. It can be a strange conversation because we're so different. Jay, for instance, really loves cars. He's got antique cars with kerosene lanterns, cars that run on peat moss. He'll be telling me about some classic car he has, made entirely of brass and leather, and I'll say, "Yeah, man, I got the Taurus with the vinyl." One thing we have in common is bad guests. There are certain actors, celebrities with nothing to say, who move through the talk show world wreaking havoc. They lay waste to Dave's town and Jay's town, then head my way.
Playboy: You must be getting some good guests. Your ratings have shown a marked improvement. O'Brien: Remember, when you're on at 12:30 the Nielsens are based on 80 people. My ratings drop if one person has a head cold and goes to bed early.
Playboy: Actually, you're seen by about 3 million people a night. Your ratings would be even higher if college dorms weren't excluded from the Nielsens. How many points does that cost you? O'Brien: I told you I'm an idiot. Now I have to do math too?
Playboy: Do you still get suggestions from NBC executives? O'Brien: Not as many. The number of notes you get is inversely proportional to your ratings.
Playboy: What keeps you motivated? O'Brien: Superstition. We have a stagehand, Bobby Bowman, who holds up the curtain when I run out for the monologue. He is the last person I see before the show starts, and I have to make him laugh before I go out. It started with mild jabs: "Bobby, you're drunk again." Bobby laughs, "Heehee."" Then it was, "Still having trouble with the wife, Bobby?" But after hundreds of shows, you find yourself running out of lines. It's gotten to where I do crass things at the last second. I'll put his hand on my ass and yell, "You fucking pervert!" Or drop to my knees and say, "Come on, Bobby, I'll give you a blow job!"
"Ha-ha. Conan, you're crazy," he says. But even that stuff wears off. Soon, I'll be making the writers work late to give me new jokes for Bobby.
Playboy: Did you plan to be a talk show host or did you fall into the job? O'Brien: I was an Irish Catholic kid from St. Ignatius parish in Brookline, outside of Boston. And that meant: Don't call attention to yourself. Don't ask for too much when the pie comes around. Don't get a girl pregnant and fuck up your life.
Playboy: Were you an alter boy? O'Brien: I wanted to be an alter boy, but the priest at St. Ignatius said, "No, no. You're good on your feet, kid," and made me a lector. A scripture reader at Mass. He was the one who spotted my talent.
Playboy: What did you think of sex in those days? O'Brien: I was sexually repressed. At 16 I still thought human reproduction was by mitosis.
Playboy: How did you get over your sexual repression? O'Brien: Who says I got over it? My leg has been jiggling this whole time.
Playboy: What were you like in high school? O'Brien: Like a crane galumphing down the hall. A crane with weird hair, bad skin and Clearasil. Big enough for basketball but lousy at it. My older brothers were better. I would compensate by running around the court doing comedy, saying, "Look out, this player has a drug addiction. He's incredibly egotistical."
I was an asshole at home, too. My little brother Justin loved playing cops and robbers, but I kept tying him up with bureaucratic bullshit. When he'd catch me, I'd say, "I get to call my lawyer." Then it was, "OK, Justin, we're at trial and you've been charged with illegal arrest. Fill out these forms in triplicate." Justin was eight; he hated all the lawsuits and countersuits. He just cried.
Playboy: Were you a class clown? O'Brien: Never. I was never someone who walked into a room full of strangers and started telling jokes. You had to get to know me before I could make you laugh. The same thing happened with Late Night. I needed to get the right rhythm with Andy and Max and the audience.
Playboy: So how did you finally learn about sex? O'Brien: My parents gave me a book, but it was useless. At the crucial moment, all it showed was a man and a woman with the bed covers pulled up to their chins. I tried to find out more from friends, but it didn't help. One childhood friend told me it was like parking a car in a garage. I kept worrying about poisonous fumes. What if the fumes build up? Should you shut off the engine?
Playboy: For all your talk about being repressed, you can be rowdy on the air. O'Brien: The show is my escape valve. When I tear off my shirt and gyrate my pelvis like Robert Plant, feigning orgasm into the microphone, that shows how repressed I am -- a guy who wants to push his sex at the lens but can only do it as a joke.
Playboy: Aren't you tempted to live it up? O'Brien: I always imagined that if I were a TV star I would live the way I pictured Johnny Carson living. Carousing, stepping out of a limo wearing a velvet ascot with a model on my arm. Now that I have the TV show, I drive up to Connecticut on the weekends and tool around in my car. I could probably join a free-sex cult, smoke crack between orgies and drive sports cars into swimming pools, and my Catholic guilt would still be there, throbbing like a toothache. Be careful. If something good happens, something bad is on the way.
Playboy: Yet you don't mind licking the supermodels. O'Brien: At one point a few of them lived in my building, women who are so beautiful they almost look weird, like aliens. To me, a woman who has a certain approachable amount of beauty becomes almost funny. It's the same with male supermodels. They look like big puppets. So while I admire their beauty I probably won't be "romantically linked" with a model. I'd catch my reflection in a ballroom mirror and break up laughing.
Playboy: The horny Roy Orbison growl you use on gorgeous guests sounds real enough -- O'Brien: Oh, I've been doing that shit since high school. It just never worked before.
Playboy: Your father is a doctor, your mother an attorney. What do they think of their son the comedian? O'Brien: My dad was the one who told me denial was a virtue. "Denial is how people get through horrible things," he said. He also cut out a newspaper article in which I said I was making money off something for which I should probably be treated. So true, he thought. But when I got an Emmy for helping write Saturday Night Live, my parents put it on the mantel next to the crucifix. Here's Jesus looking over, saying, "Wow, I saved mankind from sin, but I wish I had an Emmy."
Playboy: Ever been in therapy? O'Brien: Yes. I don't trust it. I have told therapists that I don't particularly want to feel good. "Repression and fear, that's my fuel." But the therapists said that I had nothing to worry about. "Don't worry Conan you will always be plenty fucked up."
Playboy: When a female guest comes out, how do you know whether to shake her hand or kiss her? Is that rehearsed O'Brien: No, and it's awkward. If you go to shake her hand and her head starts coming right at you, you have to change strategy fast. I have thought about using the show to make women kiss me, but that would probably creep out the people at home. I decided not to kiss Elton John.
Playboy: Do you get all fired up if Cindy Crawford or Rebecca Romijn does the show? O'Brien: I like making women laugh. Always have, ever since I discovered you can get girls' attention by acting like an ass. That's one of the joys of the show -- I'm working my eyebrows and going grrr and she's laughing, the audience is laughing. It's all a big put-on and I'm thinking. This is great. Here is a beautiful woman who has no choice but to put up with this shit.
But it's not always put on. Sometimes they flirt back. Sometimes there's a bit of chemistry. That happened with Jennifer Connelly of The Rocketeer.
Playboy: One guest, Jill Hennessy, took off her pants for you. Then you removed yours. Even Penn and Teller took off their pants. O'Brien: Something comes over me. It happened with Rebecca Romijn -- I was practically climbing her. Those are the times when Andy and the audience seem to disappear and it's just me and this lovely woman sitting there flirting. I keep expecting a waiter to say, "More wine, Monsieur?"
Playboy: Would you lick the wine bottle? O'Brien: It's true, there's a lot of licking on the show. I have licked guests. I have licked Andy. Comedy professionals will read this and say, "Great work, Conan. Impressive." But I have learned that if you lick a guest, people laugh. If I pick this shoe off the floor, examine it, Hmmm, and then lick it, people laugh. I learned this lesson on The Simpsons, where I was the writer who was forever trying to entertain the other writers. I still try desperately to make our writers laugh, which is probably a sign of sickness since they work for me now. Licking is one of those things that look funny.
Playboy: Johnny Carson never licked Ed McMahon. O'Brien: We are much more physical and more stupid than the old Tonight Show. Even in our offices before the show there's always some writer acting out a scene crashing his head through my door. A behind-the-scenes look at our show might frighten people.
Playboy: One night you showed a doctored photo of Craig T. Nelson having sex with Jerry Van Dyke. Did they complain about it? O'Brien: I haven't heard from them. Of course I'm blessed not to be a part of the celebrity pond. I have a television show in New York, an NBC outpost. I don't run with or even run into many Hollywood people.
Playboy: You also announced that Tori Spelling has a penis. O'Brien: I did not. Polly the Peacock said that.
Playboy: Another character you use to say the outrageous stuff. O'Brien: Polly is not popular with the network.
Playboy: You mock Fabio, too. O'Brien: If he sues me, it'll be the best thing that ever happened. A publicity bonanza: Courtroom sketches of Fabio with his man-boobs quivering, shaking his fist, and me shouting at him across the courtroom. I'm not afraid of Fabio. He knows where to find me. I'm saying it right here for the record: Fabio, let's get it on.
Playboy: Ever have a run-in with an angry celeb? O'Brien: I did a Kelsey Grammar joke a few years ago, something about his interesting lifestyle, then heard through the network that he was upset. He had appeared on my show and expected some support. At this point my intellect says, "Kelsey Grammar is a public figure. I was in the right." Then I saw him in an airport. Kelsey didn't see me at first: I could have kept walking. But there he was, eating a cruller in the airport lounge. I thought I should go over. I said hello and then said, "Kelsey, I'm sorry if I upset you." And he was glad. He looked relieved. He said, "Oh, that's OK." We both felt better.
....See my other post with the last third of the interview
2024.05.29 03:14 luminousloris Help me - regret bob cut
I had hair at about my shoulder blades and it was thick. I decided to cut it just at my shoulders and add layers. Big mistake. I always forget how layers are horrible for my round face.
Now I have choppyness at the top of my head and frankly, I look like I'm in a boy band - and I'm a woman.
How do you style a choppy bob? How can I hate this hair less? I'm so sad now
submitted by luminousloris to Hair [link] [comments]
Now I have choppyness at the top of my head and frankly, I look like I'm in a boy band - and I'm a woman.
How do you style a choppy bob? How can I hate this hair less? I'm so sad now
2024.05.29 03:11 rohan_spibo Update: Bloons TD 6 v43.0 - Update Notes!
Update: Bloons TD 6 v43.0 - Update Notes!
Available now for most platforms please restart your storefront or be patient if it does not appear for you, these updates can take some time to be rolled out to every region due to how the storefronts are set up.
Update Video: https://youtu.be/97SrSDiSNfk
While we have been working to increase this niche with many new maps, Juggernautâs functions sub-optimally for the majority of current maps in the game as the knockback doesnât scale well without good rebound opportunities; to help with this weâre increasing their knockback force slightly with even more emphasis on the less-favored crosspath. We are slightly reducing the cost of Super Monkey Fan Club to overall improve the value of taking multiple to maintain higher uptime
Boomerang base price is being slightly reduced, already a decent start in many cases though this seemed enough to make slight game start changes and price it differently to other towers. The main attack for MOAB Domination has been scaled up as overall it is a good upgrade but the pierce on this main attack was previously unchanged from the T3. Glaive Lordâs main thrown attacks will now be able to bounce back again and hit the same target multiple times, this can be a very powerful effect so there is a cooldown on how frequently any single Bloon can be re-targeted.
Bloon Crush does its job locking down all movement in an area, but we feel it could see more damage to reduce the stall time without the balance really changing much. Bomb Blitz was recently refitted to a cheaper price range while proportionally keeping a similar power level for the cost, however seeing it now in this spot we feel keeping higher damage will give it the edge it needs to feel more impactful than spamming Recursives.
Tack is a very powerful base tower technically, but it is unable to achieve high uptime of that potential power in many early rounds, so some base cost is moving into the cheaper xx1 and xx2 upgrades to make it easier for other towers to start alongside the tack. Additionally, while weâve held out on this change as there are strong use cases in prior upgrades, Blade Maelstrom lacks the single target punch to last late in Modern Bloons. While it is designed as a high pierce cleanup of low tier Bloons we want to try shifting some pierce to single target damage to feel good for longer.
Increased duration has limited use on upgrades that completely destroy targets anyway, so a better crosspath benefit is being added onto 401 glue puddles. Bloon Solverâs pierce is being reduced as it is over-overkill for how many Bloons you realistically see at once, but this reduction should not be noticed for most players. Glue Splatter stands out as weirdly expensive for T2, and is rarely even needed so weâre significantly cutting its price to bring it down to a more affordable range with less pierce, we hope this should make it more worth considering for splatter coverage over piercing. Now that Glue Storm is extremely good for damage type & debuff support weâre removing the bonus speed reduction that should otherwise require xx2 crosspath and lowering the duration of the Glue Storm. New Relentless Glue finally offers something quite powerful so cost is slightly increasing.
Lower tier Shrapnel crosspathing balance doesnât feel great currently, so the damage crosspath benefits at T1 & T2 are improving. Even with the high damage per shot, Cripple MOAB still has low value outside of debuff capability, we feel that these shots pack enough of a punch now that they should do a little collateral damage - so lets do it! (weâve also increased shrapnel pierce at this tier to not tip crosspath balance too far to one side).
Bloontonium Reactorâs unsubmerged damage is increasing to encourage unsubmerged possibilities. The bonus to Lead on Reactor currently doesn't apply to T5, so this bonus is being carried up and improved along with a small price reduction to Energizer as strategies using it have fallen somewhat in viability. Nautic Siege Coreâs hero buff is being improved as currently this is an under-utilized part of the tower.
While buccaneer is technically already a very good starter tower for maps that happen to have ideal spots allowing it to attack in both directions we feel this situation isnât common enough that the tower should be priced around that expectation - this reduced cost is added back to top and bottom T3 upgrades as they do not need the buff. As the paragon has exceptionally powerful scaling mechanics as well as being a paragon that continues to produce cash the XP Unlock requirement is increasing, this increase will not affect players who have already unlocked it.
Minor catchup changes to some parts have fallen out of line slightly due to balance changes for other parts of the Ace.
A lot of stats shuffled around here; this should keep the power level roughly similar overall but with proportionally more of that power coming from the seeking attacks, and less from micro aiming the faster firing frontal gun.
Overall Comanche cleanup and stats shuffle; with the goal of improving baseline non-buffed performance and making it less demanding of Geraldoâs Pickle for high damage.
Artillery Battery use has really exploded (!) and over the past few updates it has been sitting fairly steady in a great spot, the current power level feels good but we donât want to create too big of a gap from the T3 yet so only a very slight cost increase. Blooncinerationâs 025 crosspath currently works so much better with external buffs so we're tweaking the 205 crosspath to feel better in some situations.
Wizard has a weaker base tower so the base cost is going down in exchange for a small price increase to the cost to value ratio for the effective Arcane Mastery. As Fireball becomes very forgotten at higher tiers and is hard to even see at Dragonâs Breath, weâre improving the crosspath and adding even more projectiles at T3 for wider explosive coverage. As Shimmer is the slowest de-camo in the game it is important that it not miss when it does trigger, so pierce is greatly increased. Wizard Lord Phoenixâs Wall of Fire hasnât had any meaningful upgrade progression, so its damage is being increased. Magus is one of the more in-depth Paragons to use effectively so having it as one of the cheapest to unlock didn't feel right, the unlock XP requirements for this and Ninja are being swapped around.
Super Monkey projectiles already travel most the map length so that total distance is being reduced and adding back via the range-focused middle crosspath. The recent Robo/Tech Terror nerfs had a larger impact on the Anti-Bloon, so it is seeing a larger compensatory price reduction. Legend of the Nightâs special passive ability is being failsafe limited to 2 activations per round, per tower.
While a great early game option, Ninja generally struggles with dominant crosspathing choices and also has relatively poor base tower value. Without going into every single change, T3s onward remain relatively unchanged with a lot of prices below T3 being moved around from less favorable crosspaths into bettehigher tier upgrades. Ninja Paragon is very simple to use so unlock XP requirements for this and Wizard Paragon are swapping around so Ninja is the faster unlock. This increase will not affect players who have already unlocked it.
Passive life generation is being removed in favor of the active ability being the only source of life generation, this allows druid-focus strategies to no longer âaccidentallyâ heal their Vengeance buffs away. Heart of Vengeance itself has been allowed to remain overpowered for a long time since life loss is not always an option in different challenges/modes, but with newer competitive modes being added over time that do allow for this mechanic to be, overindulged, shall we say, it feels due for substantial rebalance.
Monkey Wall Streetâs cost is being increased, but in return its special bonuses have been improved with more life generation and much more range for Banana collection.
Spike Storm is now exceptionally strong so the ability cooldown is increasing a small amount along with the T5 cost. This comes along with a crosspath rebalance granting more 042 lifespan. Long Life Spikes can start creating a nice buildup of spikes in advance but most of the time feels fairly meh as a stepping stone into Deadly Spikes, a little price here is being shifted up to improve standalone upgrade value.
Primary Expertiseâs own attack is unreliable due partly to low bounce distance, so this is being increased. Base level Monkeyopolis continues to over perform, so the baseline cash generation is reducing.
While better than many options, base Engineer still takes a lot of available starting cash so the cost is reduced slightly and being moved back up into Cleansing Foam & Bloontrap; also with a reduction to Double Gunâs price to reflect the lower value of the base tower. Sentry placements are slightly changing to improve their reliability, and will now spawn closer to the track depending on how much range the sentry has. Sentry Champion, while strong with them, is lacking without high buff support so weâre trying out an increase to the sentry damage on it.
In going over our large list of price changes for Beast Handlerâs lower tiers in 42 this change was received very positively, however we did not realize that in making this change we killed off all chance of dual-beast handlers being used as a round 1 starting option for under $650 in hard modes â So we gotta do that math all over again and convert it for difficulty, painful đ All T1 beast prices changed to allow 110 & 101 beast handler combos to be placed for under $650 in hard mode, all T2 & T3 prices shifted around to keep these same cost ratios.
Quincyâs Rapid Shot starts with an extremely short duration that slowly increases over levels, the difference between min and max is huge but it doesnât feel too impactfully increased at any point through the leveling up process, so we are increasing the base duration and instead moving the buff up to max duration all into his Lv13 which currently doesnât do much.
Gwendolinâs Heat it Up was recently reworked to allow for much more frequent triggering from attacks, however the 4.5s internal cooldown still limits it from being scaled up far so that internal cooldown is now also being reduced. Additionally, Heat it Upâs bonus buff to damage against Lead targets has been improved slightly so we can get more out of that niche.
Obyn isnât necessarily the best support for every type of Druid to reach its highest DPS, but with his more easy reliable design it feels appropriate for him to solve Druidâs biggest weaknesses in a more laid back approach with:
Benjaminâs Cyber Security and Skimming levels have been swapped around so that the early game skimming cash snowball doesnât come quite so soon, and Cyber Security can come in earlier where it will make a bigger impact proportionally to the lives being lost.
Weâll probably regret this, but the nerf made people very sad, and that is not a life goal đ˘
Etienne's drones are prone to missing due to very low projectile speed, this speed is increasing a fair amount to help with this as drones already have an inability to directionally aim well.
Purple Popping is underwhelming with how late it comes online, so this is swapping around with level 11âs slightly faster pop speed.
Geraldo has been far too powerful for a while and all-round nerfs are coming to many outstanding aspects, however in return a little quality of life is coming with some more forgiving stock capacities and much more flexible Fertilizer; with the % benefit being reduced in return for improved replenish rate, maximum stock and the ability to now work on all Banana Farm types.
As Corvusâs power is still considerably top-heavy the mid game performance is being improved with buffs to underused spells, but also top-end power of his 2 most powerful level 20 spells is being reduced to lessen the pressure to âneedâ to get this far.
Minor tweaks to Heartless which feels it has no competitive edge over most other Relics & Monkey Boost which overperforms on all available tiles.
Bloonarius
This is really just for fun, bringing increased variety of Bleed Bloons from higher tier Bloonarius
Rock Bloons in the higher tiers of Normal Dreadbloon are very outscaled, and so their health values are being increased.
In Elite mode Phayzeâs speed bonus while shielded is being reduced by 5% across the board as it felt just a little too quick.
submitted by rohan_spibo to btd6 [link] [comments]
Available now for most platforms please restart your storefront or be patient if it does not appear for you, these updates can take some time to be rolled out to every region due to how the storefronts are set up.
Update Video: https://youtu.be/97SrSDiSNfk
Key New Features
- New Event, Boss Rush!
- We are so psyched to release this event! We have heard the many requests for more Team activities, and after testing some functionality in Quests, we are so happy to release a very different way to play as a Team. Thank you for your feedback and patience, and we truly hope you enjoy!
- Band together with allies to defend against the powerful Boss Rush threatening your Team. With multiple Boss threats looming on the horizon, you and your Team must work together to defend nearby islands from a variety of invaders!
- To assist in pushing back the threat players are outfitted with Relic Knowledge to leverage and a number of Revive Shields that will recover you from 0 lives! But be careful, Revives are limited and each time one is triggered the Boss will rush closer to the exit.
- These Bosses cannot be destroyed alone, so when defending any island your goal is to deal as much damage as you possibly can before they make it past. When your Team reaches enough combined total damage the island is successfully defended and you can progress to the next island, with a new Boss to defend against!
- Between islands some monkey types must stay behind to defend, but additional Relic Knowledge will be acquired to assist in the next challenge.
- Defend 5 islands, each with a fast paced Boss challenge against different Bosses out of the initial 3 available: Bloonarius, Dreadbloon & Phayze. (Vortex & Lych to be coming at a later date!).
- Immediately after defending an island, all Team members can claim the island rewards!
- For launch we are releasing with a pure Team focus without competitive leaderboards. This allows us to review balance and get feedback from players before making changes in future updates. Boss Rush has evolved to be much bigger than the minigame-like concept it was initially planned to be and we look forward to seeing all of your Teams defend their islands together!
- The Event Timer shows when the next Boss Rush will start - less than a day after launch.
- New Code Redemption System
- This new system will allow us to create gift packs that can be redeemed by anyone with the code for free in-game rewards, so keep an eye out for any codes we may share (or hideâŚ) in future!
- Due to privacy requirements, certain platforms wonât be able to enter the codes directly in the game. Instead, you will need to visit a Ninja Kiwi website where you can log in to your LiNK account and redeem the code.
New Awesome
- New Hero Rosalia! (responds to Lia for short!)
- Jetpack Monkey joins the team! Try out Rosalia right away in her new trial quest! Rosalia is built to be a strong âset and forgetâ hero who also happens to work well with a techbot. The ability to swap weapon to handle her own weaknesses exists for people who wish to play her as their sole DPS, but the power of both her weapons is balanced to scale up together at a fair rate so there's no reason not to pick a preferred weapon forever, and build the rest of your towers to cover any weakness left.
- Rosalia freely jumps around her large workshop area, attacking faster the more Bloons are nearby while swapping between a powerful single target laser & bouncing cluster grenades to deal with different threats!
- Enhanced special attacks for the 10th shot fired on either weapon, showering Bloons in a fog of explosions, or Shocking and pushing them back with powerful Plasma blasts
- Reduce all upgrade costs for Monkey Ace & Heli Pilot, plus one other friend!
- Lv3 Scatter Missile ability, to clean up Bloons with a barrage of powerful stuns
- Lv7 Hover ANYWHERE and gain the Flight Boost ability to temporarily pursue Bloons everywhere around the track and temporarily boost the flight speed of Aces & Helis
- Lv10 Kinetic Charge ability, which sticks MOAB-class Bloons with a charge that explodes after a short duration and amplifies this explosion based on the amount of damage that hits the target before the charge explodes. Focus fire!
- You could try this code: ROSALIAROCKS
- New Beginner Map Tinkerton
- Explore Rosaliaâs workshop and help defend it against Bloon incursion! Who knew orange juice had so many uses?
- New Quests
- Tinkererâs Tutorial: discover Rosaliaâs strengths and weaknesses
- A Strange Bloonomaly: Dr. Monkey wants your help investigating some unusual Bloons
- New Trophy Store Items
- Heroes: Obyn Wolf Dance placement animation for Standard Obyn
- Monkeys: Boomer âRoo pet for the Boomerang Monkey
- Bloons: BAD Scarab skin
- Game & UI: Boomer and âRoo profile banner, Distinguished Gentlemonkey avatar
- Limited Time Trophy Store Item
- Druid of the Rainbow avatar
- New CT Team Store items
- Icons: Battle Monkey Icon
- Frames: Boss Rush Clouds Frame
Game Changes / Additions
- Map Editor Beach items
- It may be getting colder in New Zealand, but we know itâs getting back to beach weather for most of you!
- Beach water path x1
- Areas x2
- Stamps x3
- Props x22
- Map Editor âfull pathâ settings to modify how entire paths work
- Set paths to be alternating, sequential, or a specific pattern
- Map Editor âpath nodeâ settings to modify small sections within a path
- Invulnerable MOABs: MOABs will not be targetable until the next node
- Invulnerable Bloons: Bloons will not be targetable until the next node
- All Bloon Speed: Speed modified by a set multiplier until the next node
- Scale Bloon: Bloons will increase in visual size until the next node
- Scale MOAB: MOABs will increase in visual size until the next node
- FPS is no longer capped by default, instead a 60 FPS limit can be enabled from the screen resolution menu
Bug Fixes & General Changes
- Endurance Roundset used in the Phayze One quest has been extended from 100 to 205 rounds, and now has naturally spawning Camo Bloons added
- David Vs Goliath achievement now works in Boss Challenge
- Resolved a crash that could occur when logging out
- Resolved a crash that could occur when exiting out of the received accolades menu too quickly after entering
- Resolved a case in which âlogin requiredâ could incorrectly display on arcade builds
- Unlocking a new hero should always select that new hero
- Resolved some UI overlap issues within Map Editor
- Resolved some minor visual issues with quests forcing hero level ups
- Map Editor vfx should no longer sometimes become locked to the playerâs selection and block interaction / clicking on other items
- Resolved an issue that could sometimes fail to load the âMy Teamsâ button
- Resolved an issue where tower outlines would incorrectly misalign from the tower
- Improved resolution of the default App icon
- Restarting a game in the Content Browser should no longer render that run invalid for the âfirst winnerâ slot
- The âmessagesâ page is now loaded by default when interacting with the My Team button
- Income modifiers used in challenge rules should correctly apply to all sources of income
Event bug fixes
- Team island props should once again animate when interacted with
- Game should no longer crash when in the Odyssey scene as the event ends
Map Specific Fixes
- Protect the Yacht quest mapâs Boss Spawn Point art has been corrected
- Protect the Yacht quest map should no longer use the #ouch odyssey statue
Tower Specific Fixes
Tack Shooter- 5xx Inferno Ringâs fire aura is now visually disabled when VFX slider is set to 0%
- x3x Arctic Wind ice aura is now visually disabled when VFX slider is set to 0%
- x4x Glue Gunner can no longer debuff Dreadbloon in Primary Immune phase
- x5x Pre-Emptive Strike now works on Castleâs Revenge
- Resolved a crash that could occur when building a sub paragon as Vortex spawns.
- 3xx+ Monkey Sub aura no longer shrinks with the VFX slider, but is disabled at 0%
- 4xx Aircraft Carrier planes now have camo restored when Polyphemus Eye is opened
- xx4 Favored Trades no longer increases the sell value of towers in CHIMPS above $0
- Swapping to Lock in Place while moving should no longer visually jam the rotation
- Resolved a hypersonic automatic blink teleport attacks issue that never happened in a live build but is kinda fun to talk about, and honestly less hype than iâm making it out to sound anyway.
Hero Specific Fixes
Gwendolin- Lv4 Gwendolin's Heat It Up buff no longer fails to apply if the attack runs out of pierce
- Resolved a buggy visual that could occur when Heat It Up attacks too fast
- Etienne should no longer consume the âBox of Monkeyâ Relic Knowledge
- Resolved a rare crash that could occur when using hotkeys
- Resolved an issue where Geraldoâs skin displayed the wrong portrait when viewing the full upgrades page
- Resolved a crash that could occur when sold at Lv2
- [Vision Pro] Gentlemonkey Geraldo skin should now show on the Monkey Tray
The combination of towers you are able to pass round 1 with can change quite a lot in any overall strategy, especially for more restrictive game modes, so for this update we have made an effort to open up new starter combinations with improvements to a number of initial placement towers.
Tower Balance
Dart MonkeyWhile we have been working to increase this niche with many new maps, Juggernautâs functions sub-optimally for the majority of current maps in the game as the knockback doesnât scale well without good rebound opportunities; to help with this weâre increasing their knockback force slightly with even more emphasis on the less-favored crosspath. We are slightly reducing the cost of Super Monkey Fan Club to overall improve the value of taking multiple to maintain higher uptime
- 4xx Juggernaut Knockback duration increased 0.1s > 0.15
- 402 Juggernaut Knockback to heavy targets 1.5 > 2.25
- 402 Juggernaut Knockback to light targets 3 > 4.5
- x4x Super Monkey Fan Club price reduced $8000 > 7500
Boomerang base price is being slightly reduced, already a decent start in many cases though this seemed enough to make slight game start changes and price it differently to other towers. The main attack for MOAB Domination has been scaled up as overall it is a good upgrade but the pierce on this main attack was previously unchanged from the T3. Glaive Lordâs main thrown attacks will now be able to bounce back again and hit the same target multiple times, this can be a very powerful effect so there is a cooldown on how frequently any single Bloon can be re-targeted.
- Boomerang Monkey price reduced $325 > 315
- xx5 Moab Domination Main projectile pierce increased 18 > 54
- 205 Moab Domination Main projectile pierce increased 27 > 81
- 5xx Glaive Lord main attack can bounce back to the same target: cooldown 0.6s
Bloon Crush does its job locking down all movement in an area, but we feel it could see more damage to reduce the stall time without the balance really changing much. Bomb Blitz was recently refitted to a cheaper price range while proportionally keeping a similar power level for the cost, however seeing it now in this spot we feel keeping higher damage will give it the edge it needs to feel more impactful than spamming Recursives.
- 5xx Bloon Crush damage increased 12 > 24
- 502 Bloon Crush Frags damage increased 12 > 24
- 502 Bloon Crush Frags bonus damage to ceramic 12 > 0
- xx5 Bomb Blitz damage increased 3 > 5
Tack is a very powerful base tower technically, but it is unable to achieve high uptime of that potential power in many early rounds, so some base cost is moving into the cheaper xx1 and xx2 upgrades to make it easier for other towers to start alongside the tack. Additionally, while weâve held out on this change as there are strong use cases in prior upgrades, Blade Maelstrom lacks the single target punch to last late in Modern Bloons. While it is designed as a high pierce cleanup of low tier Bloons we want to try shifting some pierce to single target damage to feel good for longer.
- Tack shooter price reduced $280 > 260
- xx1 More Tacks price increased $100 > 110
- xx2 Even More Tacks price increased $100 > 110
- x4x Blade Maelstrom damage increased 1 > 2
- x4x Blade Maelstrom pierce reduced from 200 > 100
- x5x Super Maelstrom damage unchanged
- x5x Super Maelstrom pierce reduced 500 > 300
Increased duration has limited use on upgrades that completely destroy targets anyway, so a better crosspath benefit is being added onto 401 glue puddles. Bloon Solverâs pierce is being reduced as it is over-overkill for how many Bloons you realistically see at once, but this reduction should not be noticed for most players. Glue Splatter stands out as weirdly expensive for T2, and is rarely even needed so weâre significantly cutting its price to bring it down to a more affordable range with less pierce, we hope this should make it more worth considering for splatter coverage over piercing. Now that Glue Storm is extremely good for damage type & debuff support weâre removing the bonus speed reduction that should otherwise require xx2 crosspath and lowering the duration of the Glue Storm. New Relentless Glue finally offers something quite powerful so cost is slightly increasing.
- 401 Stickier Glue allows track puddles to last +1 round
- 5xx The Bloon Solver pierce reduced 5 > 4
- x2x Glue Splatter price reduced $1450 > 970
- x2x Glue Splatter pierce buff reduced 3 > 2
- x5x Glue Storm ability âstormâ duration reduced 20s > 15
- x5x Glue Storm ability glue slow 75% > 50%
- 052 Glue Storm ability glue slow 90% > 75%
- xx4 Relentless Glue price increased 3000 > 3400
Lower tier Shrapnel crosspathing balance doesnât feel great currently, so the damage crosspath benefits at T1 & T2 are improving. Even with the high damage per shot, Cripple MOAB still has low value outside of debuff capability, we feel that these shots pack enough of a punch now that they should do a little collateral damage - so lets do it! (weâve also increased shrapnel pierce at this tier to not tip crosspath balance too far to one side).
- 120 Shrapnel Shot damage increased from 1 > 2
- 220 Shrapnel Shot damage increased from 2 > 3
- 320 Shrapnel Shot damage unchanged (4)
- 520 Cripple MOABâs Shrapnel Shot pierce increased from 2 > 3
- 5xx Cripple MOAB now damages Bloons around the main target
- Radius 8
- Pierce 10
- Damage 28
Bloontonium Reactorâs unsubmerged damage is increasing to encourage unsubmerged possibilities. The bonus to Lead on Reactor currently doesn't apply to T5, so this bonus is being carried up and improved along with a small price reduction to Energizer as strategies using it have fallen somewhat in viability. Nautic Siege Coreâs hero buff is being improved as currently this is an under-utilized part of the tower.
- 4xx Bloontonium Reactor dart & airburst damage 1 > 2
- 520 Energizer gains bonus damage to Lead +5 when submerged
- 502 Energizer price reduced $32,000 > 31,000
- Paragon Hero attack cooldown increase reduced 1.5x > 1.3
- Paragon Hero damage multiplier increased 4x > 5x
While buccaneer is technically already a very good starter tower for maps that happen to have ideal spots allowing it to attack in both directions we feel this situation isnât common enough that the tower should be priced around that expectation - this reduced cost is added back to top and bottom T3 upgrades as they do not need the buff. As the paragon has exceptionally powerful scaling mechanics as well as being a paragon that continues to produce cash the XP Unlock requirement is increasing, this increase will not affect players who have already unlocked it.
- Buccaneer price reduced $500 > 400
- 300 Destroyer price increased 2950 > 3050
- 003 Merchantman price increased 2300 > 2400
- Navarch unlock XP increased 500,000 > 750,000
Minor catchup changes to some parts have fallen out of line slightly due to balance changes for other parts of the Ace.
- x1x Exploding Pineapple attack cooldown reduced 1.7s > 1.6s
- xx5 Flying Fortress radial dart damage increased from 3 > 6
A lot of stats shuffled around here; this should keep the power level roughly similar overall but with proportionally more of that power coming from the seeking attacks, and less from micro aiming the faster firing frontal gun.
- Seeking Radials projectile count increased 4 > 8
- Seeking Radials damage increased 200 > 300
- Seeking Radials boss bonus increased 200 > 300
- Non-seeking Radials projectile count reduced 16 > 12
- Non-seeking Radials damage increased 200 > 300
- Non-seeking Radials boss bonus increased 200 > 300
- Frontal Gun damage reduced 300 > 150
- Frontal Gun boss bonus reduced 300 > 150
Overall Comanche cleanup and stats shuffle; with the goal of improving baseline non-buffed performance and making it less demanding of Geraldoâs Pickle for high damage.
- x5x Special Poperations Marine can now be sold in CHIMPS
- xx4 Comanche Defense mini's attack rate 0.151848 > 0.228
- xx5 Comanche Commander mini heli dart damage increased 2 > 3
- xx4 Comanche Defense mini's missile damage 1 > 4
- xx4 Comanche Defense mini's missile pierce 80 > 60
- xx4 Comanche Defense mini's missile ceramic bonus increased 1 > 2
- xx4 Comanche Defense mini's missile moab bonus removed 2 > 0
- xx5 Comanche Commander mini's missile ceramic bonus increased 1 > 10
- xx5 Comanche Commander mini's missile moab bonus removed 8 > 0
Artillery Battery use has really exploded (!) and over the past few updates it has been sitting fairly steady in a great spot, the current power level feels good but we donât want to create too big of a gap from the T3 yet so only a very slight cost increase. Blooncinerationâs 025 crosspath currently works so much better with external buffs so we're tweaking the 205 crosspath to feel better in some situations.
- x4x Artillery Battery price increased $5500 > 5900
- 105 Blooncineration walls of fire pierce increased 25 > 36
- 205 Blooncineration walls of fire damage increased 2 > 3
Wizard has a weaker base tower so the base cost is going down in exchange for a small price increase to the cost to value ratio for the effective Arcane Mastery. As Fireball becomes very forgotten at higher tiers and is hard to even see at Dragonâs Breath, weâre improving the crosspath and adding even more projectiles at T3 for wider explosive coverage. As Shimmer is the slowest de-camo in the game it is important that it not miss when it does trigger, so pierce is greatly increased. Wizard Lord Phoenixâs Wall of Fire hasnât had any meaningful upgrade progression, so its damage is being increased. Magus is one of the more in-depth Paragons to use effectively so having it as one of the cheapest to unlock didn't feel right, the unlock XP requirements for this and Ninja are being swapped around.
- Wizard price reduced $375 > 325
- 3xx Arcane Mastery price increased $1300 > 1400
- xx3 Shimmer pierce increased 200 > 500
- 210 Fireball crosspathed damage increased 1 > 2
- x3x Dragon's Breath fireball projectile count increased 1 > 3
- x3x Dragon's Breath fireball damage reduced 9 > 3
- x3x Dragon's Breath pierce reduced 4 > 3
- x5x Wizard Lord Phoenix wall of fire attack damage 3 > 5
- x5x Dragon's Breath fireball damage reduced from 27 > 9
- Wizard Paragon unlock cost increased from 500,000 > 1,000,000
Super Monkey projectiles already travel most the map length so that total distance is being reduced and adding back via the range-focused middle crosspath. The recent Robo/Tech Terror nerfs had a larger impact on the Anti-Bloon, so it is seeing a larger compensatory price reduction. Legend of the Nightâs special passive ability is being failsafe limited to 2 activations per round, per tower.
- Supermonkey projectile speed reduced 280 > 200
- x2x Epic Range projectile speed bonus 25% > 75% (remains 350)
- x5x The Anti-Bloon upgrade cost reduced from $80,000 > 70,000
- xx5 Legend of the Night ability max uses per round: 2
While a great early game option, Ninja generally struggles with dominant crosspathing choices and also has relatively poor base tower value. Without going into every single change, T3s onward remain relatively unchanged with a lot of prices below T3 being moved around from less favorable crosspaths into bettehigher tier upgrades. Ninja Paragon is very simple to use so unlock XP requirements for this and Wizard Paragon are swapping around so Ninja is the faster unlock. This increase will not affect players who have already unlocked it.
- Ninja Monkey price reduced $500 > 400
- Ninja Monkey attack cooldown reduced from 0.7 > 0.62
- 1xx Ninja Monkey attack cooldown reduced 38% > 30 (all attacks)
- xx2 Caltrops attack cooldown reduced 4.4 > 3.9
- xx4 Sticky Bomb attack cooldown reduced 5 > 4.5
- 1xx Ninja Discipline price increased $300 > 350
- 3xx Double Shot price increased $850 > 900
- x1x Distraction price reduced $350 > 250
- x2x Counter Espionage price reduced $500 > 400
- x3x Shinobi Tactics price increased $900 > 1200
- xx1 Seeking Shuriken price increased $250 > 300
- xx2 Caltrops price increased $400 > 450
- Ninja Paragon unlock cost reduced 1,000,000 > 500,000
Passive life generation is being removed in favor of the active ability being the only source of life generation, this allows druid-focus strategies to no longer âaccidentallyâ heal their Vengeance buffs away. Heart of Vengeance itself has been allowed to remain overpowered for a long time since life loss is not always an option in different challenges/modes, but with newer competitive modes being added over time that do allow for this mechanic to be, overindulged, shall we say, it feels due for substantial rebalance.
- x4x Jungle's Bounty now generates 1 life per ability cast
- x4x Jungle's Bounty no longer passively generates 1 life per round
- x5x Spirit of the Forest no longer passively generates lives per round
- xx2 Heart of Vengeance lost lives maximum rate bonus reduced 100% > 50
Monkey Wall Streetâs cost is being increased, but in return its special bonuses have been improved with more life generation and much more range for Banana collection.
- xx5 Monkey Wall Street price increased $60,000 > 70,000
- xx5 Monkey Wall Street range increased 60 > 75
- xx5 Monkey Wall Street lives per round increased 10 > 15
Spike Storm is now exceptionally strong so the ability cooldown is increasing a small amount along with the T5 cost. This comes along with a crosspath rebalance granting more 042 lifespan. Long Life Spikes can start creating a nice buildup of spikes in advance but most of the time feels fairly meh as a stepping stone into Deadly Spikes, a little price here is being shifted up to improve standalone upgrade value.
- x4x Spike Storm cooldown increased 45s > 50
- x4x Spike Storm ability spikes minimum duration reduced 10s > 9
- x4x Spike Storm ability spikes maximum duration reduced 13s > 11
- 041 Spike Storm duration bonus for ability spikes increased 50% > 100%
- x5x Spike Storm ability spikes duration remains at 18-22s
- x5x Carpet of Spikes price increased $40,000 > 42,000
- xx3 Long Life Spikes price reduced $1400 > 1300
- xx4 Deadly Spikes price increased $3500 > 3600
Primary Expertiseâs own attack is unreliable due partly to low bounce distance, so this is being increased. Base level Monkeyopolis continues to over perform, so the baseline cash generation is reducing.
- 5xx Primary Expertise bounce distance increased 50 > 90
- xx5 Monkeyopolis base cash amount reduced $1250 > 1000
While better than many options, base Engineer still takes a lot of available starting cash so the cost is reduced slightly and being moved back up into Cleansing Foam & Bloontrap; also with a reduction to Double Gunâs price to reflect the lower value of the base tower. Sentry placements are slightly changing to improve their reliability, and will now spawn closer to the track depending on how much range the sentry has. Sentry Champion, while strong with them, is lacking without high buff support so weâre trying out an increase to the sentry damage on it.
- Engineer price reduced $400 > 350
- 1xx Sentries now spawn within 20% of their range to the track
- 5xx Sentry Champagne damage increased from 2 > 3
- x3x Cleansing Foam price increased $850 > 900
- x4x Overclock foam pierce 10 > 15
- xx3 Double Gun price reduced $500 > 450
- xx4 Bloontrap price increased $3500 > 3600
In going over our large list of price changes for Beast Handlerâs lower tiers in 42 this change was received very positively, however we did not realize that in making this change we killed off all chance of dual-beast handlers being used as a round 1 starting option for under $650 in hard modes â So we gotta do that math all over again and convert it for difficulty, painful đ All T1 beast prices changed to allow 110 & 101 beast handler combos to be placed for under $650 in hard mode, all T2 & T3 prices shifted around to keep these same cost ratios.
- 1xx Piranha price reduced 170 > 160
- 2xx Barracutie price reduced 850 > 810
- 3xx Great White price reduced 2075 > 2010
- x1x Microraptor price reduced 195 > 175
- x2x Adasaurus price reduced 890 > 830
- x3x Velociraptor price reduced 2170 > 2065
- xx1 Gyrfalcon price reduced 210 > 190
- xx2 Horned Owl price reduced 940 > 860
- xx3 Golden Eagle price reduced 3150 > 2120
- 3xx Great White damage increased from 8 > 12
- 3xx Great White damage range increased from 16 > 24
- 1xx Piranha now spawn within 20% of their range to the track
- x1x Microraptor now spawn within 30% of their range to the track
- xx3 Golden Eagle pierce increased from 15 > 30
- xx3 Golden Eagle pierce range increased from 30 > 60
- xx3 Golden Eagle MOAB pierce penalty increased from 44 > 1089
- xx3 Golden Eagle attack cooldown range from 0.28679625 > 0.28
- xx4 Condor Unchanged by any above changes
- xx4 Giant Condor ceramic penalty reduced from 1 > 0
- xx4 Giant Condor BFB penalty reduced from 44 > 29
- Beast Handler move cooldown reduced from 3s > 2
Hero Balance
QuincyQuincyâs Rapid Shot starts with an extremely short duration that slowly increases over levels, the difference between min and max is huge but it doesnât feel too impactfully increased at any point through the leveling up process, so we are increasing the base duration and instead moving the buff up to max duration all into his Lv13 which currently doesnât do much.
- Quincy no longer gains 0.5s Rapid Shot duration per level
- Lv3 Rapid Shot duration increased 3.5s > 8
- Lv13 now also increases Rapid Shot duration 8.5s > 12
Gwendolinâs Heat it Up was recently reworked to allow for much more frequent triggering from attacks, however the 4.5s internal cooldown still limits it from being scaled up far so that internal cooldown is now also being reduced. Additionally, Heat it Upâs bonus buff to damage against Lead targets has been improved slightly so we can get more out of that niche.
- Lv4 Heat it Up minimum delay reduced from 4.5s > 1.5s
- Lv17 Heat it Up buff to Lead type increased from +1 > 2
Obyn isnât necessarily the best support for every type of Druid to reach its highest DPS, but with his more easy reliable design it feels appropriate for him to solve Druidâs biggest weaknesses in a more laid back approach with:
- Lv8 âNatureâs Wrathâ additionally grants camo detection to Druids in radius
Benjaminâs Cyber Security and Skimming levels have been swapped around so that the early game skimming cash snowball doesnât come quite so soon, and Cyber Security can come in earlier where it will make a bigger impact proportionally to the lives being lost.
- Swap the levels for Lv6 Cyber Security and Lv4 skimming
Weâll probably regret this, but the nerf made people very sad, and that is not a life goal đ˘
- Lv18 Mega Mine cooldown 45s > 40
Etienne's drones are prone to missing due to very low projectile speed, this speed is increasing a fair amount to help with this as drones already have an inability to directionally aim well.
- Lv1 Faster projectile speed for all drones 150 > 250
Purple Popping is underwhelming with how late it comes online, so this is swapping around with level 11âs slightly faster pop speed.
- Lv11 (Faster Popping) & Lv13 (Purple Popping) swapped
Geraldo has been far too powerful for a while and all-round nerfs are coming to many outstanding aspects, however in return a little quality of life is coming with some more forgiving stock capacities and much more flexible Fertilizer; with the % benefit being reduced in return for improved replenish rate, maximum stock and the ability to now work on all Banana Farm types.
- Lv2 Action Figure price reduced $700 > 650
- Lv6 Worn Cape restock rate reduced 5 > 7
- Lv6 Worn Cape cape max stock increased 2 > 3
- Lv7 Blade Trap max stock increased 3 > 4
- Lv9 Fertilizer cash bonus reduced 25% > 20
- Lv9 Fertilizer max stock increased 2 > 4
- Lv9 Fertilizer rounds to replenish reduced 5 > 3
- Lv9 Fertilizer will now work on all Banana Farms
- Lv13 Shooty Turret v2 damage reduced 7 > 6
- Lv8 Gerryâs Fire duration reduced 10r > 5
- Lv16 Gerryâs Fire v2 duration remains 10r
- Lv11 Jar of Pickles bonus to fortified removed 1 > 0
- Lv16 Jar of Pickles bonus to fortified reduced 2 > 1
As Corvusâs power is still considerably top-heavy the mid game performance is being improved with buffs to underused spells, but also top-end power of his 2 most powerful level 20 spells is being reduced to lessen the pressure to âneedâ to get this far.
- Lv1 Spear pierce increased from 3 > 4
- Lv3 Soul harvest cooldown 35s > 40s
- Lv5 Aggression initial mana cost 80 > 50
- Lv7 Malevolence tick rate 0.5s > 0.3s
- Lv14 Malevolence damage 3 > 5
- Lv20 Might damage 400 > 300
- Lv20 Overload damage 4000 > 3000
Minor tweaks to Heartless which feels it has no competitive edge over most other Relics & Monkey Boost which overperforms on all available tiles.
- Heartless now âdisablesâ Regrow Bloons: Regrow rate increased 150% > 10,050%
- Monkey Boost granted uses of the Monkey Boost power reduced 3 > 2
- Going the Distance now also provides Lifespan +30%
- Durable Shots no longer grants increased lifespan
- Durable Shots now grants towers increased pierce +25%
- Deep Heat now also allows all attacks to pop 'Frozen'
- Deep Heat now also grants Freezes longer duration +10%
- Deep Heat now also allows Freezes to last extra layers +1
Bloonarius
This is really just for fun, bringing increased variety of Bleed Bloons from higher tier Bloonarius
- Elite Tier 4: Bleed Bloons from 12 MOABs > 8 MOABs + 2 BFBs
- Elite Tier 5: Bleed Bloons from 8 DDTs > 6 DDTs + 2 fort ZOMGs
Rock Bloons in the higher tiers of Normal Dreadbloon are very outscaled, and so their health values are being increased.
- Normal Tier 4: Rock Bloon HP increased 5000 > 9000
- Normal Tier 5: Rock Bloon HP increased 12000 > 22500
In Elite mode Phayzeâs speed bonus while shielded is being reduced by 5% across the board as it felt just a little too quick.
- Elite Tier 1 shielded speed bonus reduced from 50% > 45%
- Elite Tier 2 shielded speed bonus reduced from 55% > 50%
- Elite Tier 3 shielded speed bonus reduced from 60% > 55%
- Elite Tier 4 shielded speed bonus reduced from 65% > 60%
- Elite Tier 5 shielded speed bonus reduced from 70% > 65%
2024.05.29 02:56 skytroopspears Can anyone tell me the name of this old clock/toy?
Okay so for some context, a couple years back I owned nearly everything SpongeBob related, which one of those things I remember owning being this medium sized clock/toy that had games on it.
For some background on the item, it was essentially a plastic model of SpongeBob, head to toe, with a big screen where his mouth was, which housed the clock function. There was no color, it was just a lowly lit black pixelated screen, almost like a smaller Gameboy screen. I believe it was a touch screen as well, and there may have been physical plastic buttons on SpongeBob's cheeks. The main thing with it was that you could spin SpongeBob's pants around, and the other side of his pants just showed his white underwear.
When being unused, the screen just showed the time. I believe you had to press something to activate the games. It played some basic music and it had a very similar if not the same voice as the realistic-fish-head guy from the news. I think when turning SpongeBob's pants around, it would give you access to different games or something. There was a button you had to press when you were done playing the games to reset it back to clock mode, and when doing so, it'd say "Bye Bye!" as a short animation of SpongeBob waving would play along with a short audio jingle before it would shift to the clock screen.
The only two games I can remember very clearly, was a Red Light, Green Light style game with SpongeBob moving, and Patrick trying to catch you moving. You pressed buttons on the screen while Patrick was turned around to move SpongeBob closer, as 3 or 4 different music tracks shuffled whilst Patrick was facing the other way. The other game was a weird one that only had SpongeBob, and had really no skill involved. SpongeBob stood in front of a table with 5 or 6 weirdly shaped bottles, all supposed to be "juice" or something. The idea was you had to pick (at random) two bottles from the table, and an animation would play of SpongeBob pouring each bottle, mixing the drink, and tasting it, and he'd make a reaction after tasting it depending on whether the mix you picked was "correct", "almost correct" or "incorrect". A short audio clip from the fish newscaster would follow after SpongeBob tasted the drink, basically saying if you got it right, if you had one choice wrong, or if both choices were wrong.
I really hope this is enough info, because being a long long time fan of SpongeBob, just about every human made thing has a version of it with SpongeBob slapped on it, so its been extremely hard to find the specific item without getting results for literally anything else, especially since I don't know the name of the actual product. I appreciate any help!
submitted by skytroopspears to spongebob [link] [comments]
For some background on the item, it was essentially a plastic model of SpongeBob, head to toe, with a big screen where his mouth was, which housed the clock function. There was no color, it was just a lowly lit black pixelated screen, almost like a smaller Gameboy screen. I believe it was a touch screen as well, and there may have been physical plastic buttons on SpongeBob's cheeks. The main thing with it was that you could spin SpongeBob's pants around, and the other side of his pants just showed his white underwear.
When being unused, the screen just showed the time. I believe you had to press something to activate the games. It played some basic music and it had a very similar if not the same voice as the realistic-fish-head guy from the news. I think when turning SpongeBob's pants around, it would give you access to different games or something. There was a button you had to press when you were done playing the games to reset it back to clock mode, and when doing so, it'd say "Bye Bye!" as a short animation of SpongeBob waving would play along with a short audio jingle before it would shift to the clock screen.
The only two games I can remember very clearly, was a Red Light, Green Light style game with SpongeBob moving, and Patrick trying to catch you moving. You pressed buttons on the screen while Patrick was turned around to move SpongeBob closer, as 3 or 4 different music tracks shuffled whilst Patrick was facing the other way. The other game was a weird one that only had SpongeBob, and had really no skill involved. SpongeBob stood in front of a table with 5 or 6 weirdly shaped bottles, all supposed to be "juice" or something. The idea was you had to pick (at random) two bottles from the table, and an animation would play of SpongeBob pouring each bottle, mixing the drink, and tasting it, and he'd make a reaction after tasting it depending on whether the mix you picked was "correct", "almost correct" or "incorrect". A short audio clip from the fish newscaster would follow after SpongeBob tasted the drink, basically saying if you got it right, if you had one choice wrong, or if both choices were wrong.
I really hope this is enough info, because being a long long time fan of SpongeBob, just about every human made thing has a version of it with SpongeBob slapped on it, so its been extremely hard to find the specific item without getting results for literally anything else, especially since I don't know the name of the actual product. I appreciate any help!
2024.05.29 02:11 TKWander Ghoulish Goods first Sampler review! *9 scent reviews*
OOOH. I was SO excited for these! I got an 8 pack sampler set (which they have a REALLY cool system where you can pretty much get as many samples as you like, and aren't limited to a 5 pack). They came in while I was away on a trip, so thankfully I got to skip a week waiting period and get to them after they had settled a bit, to try them out. Great TAT from this house (got them in within a week or two) AND you got to pick which Freebie you wanted, which was so awesome!
My review of this scent house so far: 4/5. It would honestly be a 5/5, but for that they have such a short wear period on my skin. Pretty much every 2 hours, I'd have to reapply :/ But, pretty much every single scent was really great and accurate to their scent descriptions, and I'll probably still FS buy a few!
Just make sure to slightly mix these guys up by turning them up and down a couple times (not so fast that you create air bubbles), to make sure the scent is fully mixed. You'll read in my notes, some of my first impressions when I Didn't do that. Don't make my mistake lol
My Rating System:
1/5: In my opinion this scent just smells really bad. I am not interested in the least. It is NOT my cup of tea and I would actively run away if I smelled it on someone else
2/5: Eh, it smells more like a scent for a cleaner or laundry detergent or maybe just a room scent. Not a perfume/cologne for me
3/5: Not my cup of tea, but It's well balanced and I could see someone else wearing it! Just not me lol
4/5: Almost perfect, just missing a scent note or two, or doesn't last very long, or dries down powdery/weirdly
5/5: I love this scent and will definitely be wearing it, if not FS-ing it!
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Cottagecore No. 1:
Official scent description: It is a warm and inviting blend of blueberry cobbler, wood burning stove, and spice cabinet. It starts off sweet with a buttery rich crust and fresh picked blueberry cobbler. A whisp of spices cut through to break up the sugars. There's a background of smoke, musk and burning wood that lingers in the background but really comes to life on the dry down. The sweetness fades to meet merrily in a dance of oud wood, smoke, spice and cobbler. Feels like a cottage in the woods on a warm summer day after picking berries all morning. A fresh cobbler in the wood burning and comfort in your soul. A gender neutral scent that anyone can enjoy.
Top- buttery crust, cinnamon, incense
Middle- blueberry, brown sugar, wood smoke
Bottom- vanilla bean, oud, musk, amber
My review: Straight out the bottle, it is pure blueberry cobbler, but as it dries, it gets weirdly perfume-y? Very quickly, too. You still get the hints of blueberry, but this powdery note kinda overtakes it all.
After a little bit the powder dies down and do you get more of the buttery crust blueberry cobbler, but this one may not be my cup of tea, sadly :/
2/5
**after about 10 minutes the blueberry pops back up to a mix of spices and blueberries that I actually like! 3 or 4/5. I do wish it had a bit more blueberry throw AND didn't have that weird powdery burst at the first dry down. A very fruity comforting fall scent, I think. Yeah, I really like it for a fruity fall scent**
**UPDATE*\*
I had to try this one a second time after that initial review. Just to try it after shaking it lightly, just a bit, to mix.
Wet I absolutely love this scent. It's giving start of fall and you're making blueberry pie or cobbler and it's spiced with fall spices and you even scraped out some authentic vanilla beans for the recipe and I actually don't get that weird strong powdery note at all! So, definitely make sure to turn samples from this house a time or two, to make sure everything is mixed, but not so much that there are air bubbles. After about 30 or so minutes it dries down to autumn cooking spices, mainly, with mainly a hint of a fruity scent. Still lovely though!
4.5 /5 it would be 5, but pretty much all the scents from this house go poof very quickly on me. All trace of it leaves my skin by 2.5/3 hours
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MIDNIGHT CIRCUS
This one was my freebie. My brother and I are putting on a type of Dark Karnival -esque camping event this fall and I really wanted to get a scent to wear there lol
Official scent description: a dark yet lively experience of caramel popcorn, fire, lacquer floorboards and whimsy
Top- hickory, honey, incense, cinnamon
Middle- smoke, amyris, caramel, salt, praline, spice
Bottom- cedarwood, moss, oud, olibanum, amber, musk, leather, popcorn, butter, vanilla
My review: This smells exactly like you're walking around a fall carnival with a big bonfire going on in the middle. Essentially it smells like your favorite fall candle scent, but just a bit more complex with the wiffs of campfire smoke and cedarwood in there. Even though it's the end of May, I sniff it on my wrist and think it's gonna be chilly outside. That feeling you get when the seasons are changing.
Strongest notes on me: wood smoke (though I wish I got more hickory to it), spices (cinnamon mainly), carameled buttery popcorn, vanilla and maybe the honey, maybe praline? It all blends very nicely into a great, if slightly generic, fall scent
Notes I don't get at all: leather, moss, oud. Those are the notes that would probably make this perfectly complex, but I just don't get them out of it. It's pure fall gourmand. I'll probably layer this over a scent that has those notes and need sweetening
Enough of a throw that I get a wiff going about my day
last drydown: dries down to autumn spices, essentially. Reminds me of walking in Gatlinburg in the fall, through all the little shops nestled in the mountain amongst the autumn trees. Completely gone within 3 hours though
4/5
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BLACK HONEY
Official Description: Black Honey is a sultry blend of Spiced Honey, black amber, cedarwood, tonka, and tobacco leaf.
My Review:
I like it! I just don't LOVE it :/
The spiced honey notes in this, wet straight on my skin, are my favorite parts, though there is a weird 'Clean' note behind it as an undertone. Maybe it's the black Amber or the tonka. I've been running down a dead note for myself and one of those might be the one. The strong Clean note blends back down into the other notes, after a bit, though. But, going back to it after about 30 minutes, it does still smell very 'clean' smelling. Like, I showered with a dark spiced honey shower soap.
Sadly, I think honey may just be a note so good note for me. So far, it always goes soapy/clean on me :/ I'm hoping it's not just the Honey note in particular, and more just an underlying note or two that generally gets paired with Honey. Otherwise, honey may be a dead note for me :/
Long drydown: it smells like I just stepped into a specialty soap shop. The ones where they sell soaps, beeswax, and honey. And by afternoon my skin just smelled lightly sweet from it. Not my favorite for most days, but maybe on occasion, or to layer in a honey note to my darker more witchy scents
3.5/5 *sigh* I really just want a dark spicy Gourmand honey. Can anyone give me any suggestions for that?? a Honey scent that DOESN'T dry down clean and powdery??
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Haunted Library
Official description: This scent will transport you to an old Victorian library. With ceiling high wooden book shelves, Creaky floorboards, leather bound books covered in a blanket of dust, fragile yellowing pages, and musty tufted chairs. Wafting through it all is the scent of sweet tobacco- the scent of the spirit that haunts these walls.
Top- Teakwood, tonka
Middle- cedar, leather, sweet tobacco, molasses
Bottom- sandalwood, Patchouli, mahogany, dark musk
My Review: a VERY light scent. Wow. Make sure you turn up and down a bit to really make sure the scent is fully blended, cause I could Barely smell it out of the bottle. It's a bit Cleaner than what I think a haunted library would really smell like. But, maybe like a lady ghosts' personal library? Overlooking the sea maybe? It weirdly gives off Cape Cod/Northeast coast/maine vibes to me. Like a Ladies Library in a Newport mansion.
I'm generally more of a sweet fruity over complex herbally scent person, or really cool gourmand scents, but I actually really like this scent! I have no clue in what instance I'd wear it, but I really do like it. I'll probably use it to give a tea or vanilla scent more complexity, or after wearing them, maybe even layering it with Stains of scarlet (down below). I don't get too much of the individual notes, but they all blend Very nicely for a femme leaning unisex scent!
As it dried the dust notes got sharper and the molasses got brought out more. First out the bottle, the wood and pachouli notes are a bit stronger. I still don't really get any leather though. My kingdom for a good strong leather scent! Lol. This is like a dainty haunted library, haunted by one of the Bridgerton ladies lol. Sweet, slightly dusty and papery, with a light hint of nostalgia and faded sweet perfumeâŚ.Oh my goodness, this is Eloise's scent lol, to a T
4/5 only really because it's not really my vibe and this scent house goes poof too fast on me. All the scents from this house poof in about 2.5/3 hours
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White Magic
Official description: White magic is an herbaceous blend of sage, lavender, incense and eucalyptus. The sage, lavender and eucalyptus are balanced equally where the incense is more of a background player here. This blend feels clean and comfortable and wears beautifully. Sage can be an off-putting smell to some put it is added subtly to not shine over the lavender. It rings to me, as a comforting freshness that I can't get enough of. This is a gender neutral scent.
Top- lavender, bergamot, pine needles, eucalyptus
Middle- chamomile, sage, camphor, rosemary, pepper
Bottom- Cedar, Sandalwood, incense, Orris root, amber
My thoughts: First out the bottle my first thought was YES!!!!!! Finally a lavender scent that doesn't smell powdery or like laundry soap! It does smell a wee bit Clean, but I think that's more the nature of any scent with these scent notes, since they're used in cleaning supplies and soaps so often. But, this scent is a Super green floral. No powdery note to my nose at all! (and I pull powder like CRAZY lol, it's been a problem for me since I hate powdery scents). This scent transports me to a spa shop full of fresh drying Eucalyptus, sage, and lavender. By the last drydown, the Eucalyptus is the strongest note
4.5 out of 5, only because this scent house goes poof too fast on me. All the scents from this house poof in about 2.5/3 hours ______________________________________________
Memento Mori
Official Description: an intriguing blend of smoked vanilla, dark spice, patchouli and black amber.
Top- smoke, clove, white pepper, blood orange Middle- sandalwood, jasmine, amber, nutmeg, black pepper, cardamom seed Bottom- black amber, vanilla, dark musk, benzoin, amyris, patchouli, cassia bark, ebonywood, dark musk
My review: Not gonna lie, this is almost chrismasy. Like a Dark Yule vibe. The dark spice in there completely reminds me of late fall/early winter spices. It's definitely going to be a fall/winter scent for me. Smokey spiced vanilla and clove. It'll be perfect to mix with an Apple scent to add more Autumn/early winter complexity! It gives walking in late fall/crisp winter when the leaves are almost all gone and you have a cinnamon chai warm in your hands walking out in the cold, vs Midnight Circus which gives off Fall carnival with smoky campfire vibes
By the end of the drydown (1.5 hours, maybe 2), all I get is cinnamon and maybe some other spices, Very light sweetness coming from the vanilla. This'll be a good mixer with some of my more sharp winter woodsy scents from Pineward, for a great late fall/winteyule scent!
4.5 out of 5, only because this scent house goes poof too fast on me. All the scents from this house poof in about 2.5/3 hours
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Nightshade Elixir
Official Description: Nightshade Elixir is an intoxicating blend of deadly nightshade, Moonflower Nectar, Elderberry and absinthe. There is a mysterious quality to this blend that keeps it from being too sweet from the berries or too floral from the Moonflower. There is a perfect blend of fruity, floral, spice and mystery. It starts out on the sweeter side to draw you in (from the black currant and agave), before the deadly dark side starts to shine through on the dry down with black tea, saffron, absinthe and Anise. An all together delectable and mysterious blend that will keep you coming back for more
Top- saffron, anise, agave
Middle- Black current, black berry, jasmine
Bottom- amber, tonka, dark musk, black tea, absinthe, dark musk
My review: Okay, this one does go a bit on the powdery/clean perfume vibes. But, I do still like it?? Very strange, considering I hate clean/powdery scents, but this one balances the Clean notes with a juicy fruity flowery vibe that it balances things quite nicely and I can't stop smelling myself. There's a sharp powdery note in there, though, that keeps me from giving it a 4/5. I've narrowed it down to either the Amber or dark musk or tonka. Whatever it is, it's totally a dead note for me. It's popped up in a few other scents over the samples I've gotten, and it's been quite annoying. I May add something a bit juicier to this. But, it almost gives Spring Fairy Queen vibes. fruity and florally, but also a bit perfumey and stringent
3.5/5 I do like it, it's just a bit too powdery perfume-y for me. Under a pear or other fruit scent, I think it would be quite nice!
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Black no 1
Original description: This scent was inspired by Type O Negative's song, "Black No.1", with notes of crisp fall leaves, burning cedar, smoke and incense.
I wanted to capture the essence of burning leaves as well as autumn air, a faint whisp of clove cigarettes, freshly dyed hair and wolf skin boots. The scent opens up with deep Notes of leather, incense and smoke. Then, brightens slightly with spiced fruit in autumn air, intermingled with warm amber. Wrapped up on a base of burning cedar and musk. This is a deep, gender neutral scent, not for the faint of heart
Top- incense, cedar leaf
Middle- green leaves, smoke, pine, spiced fruit
Bottom- cedar, amber, musk, leather
My review: Ooh, you DEFINITELY get the spiced fruit. Where Memento Mori you get a late fall Slightly into Winter vibe, this scent is ALL winter vibes. Like you're drinking mulled berry wine and christmas shopping downtown, so there's a tinge of cold in the air and incense/fall scented candles are lit in the stores. This scent house REALLY likes its cinnamon note. Those spices are the strongest hit in this, first on my skin. Straight spiced mulled fruits
4/5 but only because the scent description notes of 'clove cigarettes, freshly dyed hair, and wolf skin boots' kinda gave me the vibe that it would be more a kickass chick wearing a leather jacket- kind of scent, but it's more a straightforward CHRISTMAS scent lol. Did not expect that vibe from the original scent description. If the leather and smoke and leaves and cedar were more prominent, maybe. I just REALLY want a good leather scent :/
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I hope this review helps out someone looking for new samples to try!
Also, if anyone could recommend a really good leather scent...please hook a girl up? ;)
submitted by TKWander to Indiemakeupandmore [link] [comments]
My review of this scent house so far: 4/5. It would honestly be a 5/5, but for that they have such a short wear period on my skin. Pretty much every 2 hours, I'd have to reapply :/ But, pretty much every single scent was really great and accurate to their scent descriptions, and I'll probably still FS buy a few!
Just make sure to slightly mix these guys up by turning them up and down a couple times (not so fast that you create air bubbles), to make sure the scent is fully mixed. You'll read in my notes, some of my first impressions when I Didn't do that. Don't make my mistake lol
My Rating System:
1/5: In my opinion this scent just smells really bad. I am not interested in the least. It is NOT my cup of tea and I would actively run away if I smelled it on someone else
2/5: Eh, it smells more like a scent for a cleaner or laundry detergent or maybe just a room scent. Not a perfume/cologne for me
3/5: Not my cup of tea, but It's well balanced and I could see someone else wearing it! Just not me lol
4/5: Almost perfect, just missing a scent note or two, or doesn't last very long, or dries down powdery/weirdly
5/5: I love this scent and will definitely be wearing it, if not FS-ing it!
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Cottagecore No. 1:
Official scent description: It is a warm and inviting blend of blueberry cobbler, wood burning stove, and spice cabinet. It starts off sweet with a buttery rich crust and fresh picked blueberry cobbler. A whisp of spices cut through to break up the sugars. There's a background of smoke, musk and burning wood that lingers in the background but really comes to life on the dry down. The sweetness fades to meet merrily in a dance of oud wood, smoke, spice and cobbler. Feels like a cottage in the woods on a warm summer day after picking berries all morning. A fresh cobbler in the wood burning and comfort in your soul. A gender neutral scent that anyone can enjoy.
Top- buttery crust, cinnamon, incense
Middle- blueberry, brown sugar, wood smoke
Bottom- vanilla bean, oud, musk, amber
My review: Straight out the bottle, it is pure blueberry cobbler, but as it dries, it gets weirdly perfume-y? Very quickly, too. You still get the hints of blueberry, but this powdery note kinda overtakes it all.
After a little bit the powder dies down and do you get more of the buttery crust blueberry cobbler, but this one may not be my cup of tea, sadly :/
**after about 10 minutes the blueberry pops back up to a mix of spices and blueberries that I actually like! 3 or 4/5. I do wish it had a bit more blueberry throw AND didn't have that weird powdery burst at the first dry down. A very fruity comforting fall scent, I think. Yeah, I really like it for a fruity fall scent**
**UPDATE*\*
I had to try this one a second time after that initial review. Just to try it after shaking it lightly, just a bit, to mix.
Wet I absolutely love this scent. It's giving start of fall and you're making blueberry pie or cobbler and it's spiced with fall spices and you even scraped out some authentic vanilla beans for the recipe and I actually don't get that weird strong powdery note at all! So, definitely make sure to turn samples from this house a time or two, to make sure everything is mixed, but not so much that there are air bubbles. After about 30 or so minutes it dries down to autumn cooking spices, mainly, with mainly a hint of a fruity scent. Still lovely though!
4.5 /5 it would be 5, but pretty much all the scents from this house go poof very quickly on me. All trace of it leaves my skin by 2.5/3 hours
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MIDNIGHT CIRCUS
This one was my freebie. My brother and I are putting on a type of Dark Karnival -esque camping event this fall and I really wanted to get a scent to wear there lol
Official scent description: a dark yet lively experience of caramel popcorn, fire, lacquer floorboards and whimsy
Top- hickory, honey, incense, cinnamon
Middle- smoke, amyris, caramel, salt, praline, spice
Bottom- cedarwood, moss, oud, olibanum, amber, musk, leather, popcorn, butter, vanilla
My review: This smells exactly like you're walking around a fall carnival with a big bonfire going on in the middle. Essentially it smells like your favorite fall candle scent, but just a bit more complex with the wiffs of campfire smoke and cedarwood in there. Even though it's the end of May, I sniff it on my wrist and think it's gonna be chilly outside. That feeling you get when the seasons are changing.
Strongest notes on me: wood smoke (though I wish I got more hickory to it), spices (cinnamon mainly), carameled buttery popcorn, vanilla and maybe the honey, maybe praline? It all blends very nicely into a great, if slightly generic, fall scent
Notes I don't get at all: leather, moss, oud. Those are the notes that would probably make this perfectly complex, but I just don't get them out of it. It's pure fall gourmand. I'll probably layer this over a scent that has those notes and need sweetening
Enough of a throw that I get a wiff going about my day
last drydown: dries down to autumn spices, essentially. Reminds me of walking in Gatlinburg in the fall, through all the little shops nestled in the mountain amongst the autumn trees. Completely gone within 3 hours though
4/5
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BLACK HONEY
Official Description: Black Honey is a sultry blend of Spiced Honey, black amber, cedarwood, tonka, and tobacco leaf.
My Review:
I like it! I just don't LOVE it :/
The spiced honey notes in this, wet straight on my skin, are my favorite parts, though there is a weird 'Clean' note behind it as an undertone. Maybe it's the black Amber or the tonka. I've been running down a dead note for myself and one of those might be the one. The strong Clean note blends back down into the other notes, after a bit, though. But, going back to it after about 30 minutes, it does still smell very 'clean' smelling. Like, I showered with a dark spiced honey shower soap.
Sadly, I think honey may just be a note so good note for me. So far, it always goes soapy/clean on me :/ I'm hoping it's not just the Honey note in particular, and more just an underlying note or two that generally gets paired with Honey. Otherwise, honey may be a dead note for me :/
Long drydown: it smells like I just stepped into a specialty soap shop. The ones where they sell soaps, beeswax, and honey. And by afternoon my skin just smelled lightly sweet from it. Not my favorite for most days, but maybe on occasion, or to layer in a honey note to my darker more witchy scents
3.5/5 *sigh* I really just want a dark spicy Gourmand honey. Can anyone give me any suggestions for that?? a Honey scent that DOESN'T dry down clean and powdery??
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Haunted Library
Official description: This scent will transport you to an old Victorian library. With ceiling high wooden book shelves, Creaky floorboards, leather bound books covered in a blanket of dust, fragile yellowing pages, and musty tufted chairs. Wafting through it all is the scent of sweet tobacco- the scent of the spirit that haunts these walls.
Top- Teakwood, tonka
Middle- cedar, leather, sweet tobacco, molasses
Bottom- sandalwood, Patchouli, mahogany, dark musk
My Review: a VERY light scent. Wow. Make sure you turn up and down a bit to really make sure the scent is fully blended, cause I could Barely smell it out of the bottle. It's a bit Cleaner than what I think a haunted library would really smell like. But, maybe like a lady ghosts' personal library? Overlooking the sea maybe? It weirdly gives off Cape Cod/Northeast coast/maine vibes to me. Like a Ladies Library in a Newport mansion.
I'm generally more of a sweet fruity over complex herbally scent person, or really cool gourmand scents, but I actually really like this scent! I have no clue in what instance I'd wear it, but I really do like it. I'll probably use it to give a tea or vanilla scent more complexity, or after wearing them, maybe even layering it with Stains of scarlet (down below). I don't get too much of the individual notes, but they all blend Very nicely for a femme leaning unisex scent!
As it dried the dust notes got sharper and the molasses got brought out more. First out the bottle, the wood and pachouli notes are a bit stronger. I still don't really get any leather though. My kingdom for a good strong leather scent! Lol. This is like a dainty haunted library, haunted by one of the Bridgerton ladies lol. Sweet, slightly dusty and papery, with a light hint of nostalgia and faded sweet perfumeâŚ.Oh my goodness, this is Eloise's scent lol, to a T
4/5 only really because it's not really my vibe and this scent house goes poof too fast on me. All the scents from this house poof in about 2.5/3 hours
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White Magic
Official description: White magic is an herbaceous blend of sage, lavender, incense and eucalyptus. The sage, lavender and eucalyptus are balanced equally where the incense is more of a background player here. This blend feels clean and comfortable and wears beautifully. Sage can be an off-putting smell to some put it is added subtly to not shine over the lavender. It rings to me, as a comforting freshness that I can't get enough of. This is a gender neutral scent.
Top- lavender, bergamot, pine needles, eucalyptus
Middle- chamomile, sage, camphor, rosemary, pepper
Bottom- Cedar, Sandalwood, incense, Orris root, amber
My thoughts: First out the bottle my first thought was YES!!!!!! Finally a lavender scent that doesn't smell powdery or like laundry soap! It does smell a wee bit Clean, but I think that's more the nature of any scent with these scent notes, since they're used in cleaning supplies and soaps so often. But, this scent is a Super green floral. No powdery note to my nose at all! (and I pull powder like CRAZY lol, it's been a problem for me since I hate powdery scents). This scent transports me to a spa shop full of fresh drying Eucalyptus, sage, and lavender. By the last drydown, the Eucalyptus is the strongest note
4.5 out of 5, only because this scent house goes poof too fast on me. All the scents from this house poof in about 2.5/3 hours ______________________________________________
Memento Mori
Official Description: an intriguing blend of smoked vanilla, dark spice, patchouli and black amber.
Top- smoke, clove, white pepper, blood orange Middle- sandalwood, jasmine, amber, nutmeg, black pepper, cardamom seed Bottom- black amber, vanilla, dark musk, benzoin, amyris, patchouli, cassia bark, ebonywood, dark musk
My review: Not gonna lie, this is almost chrismasy. Like a Dark Yule vibe. The dark spice in there completely reminds me of late fall/early winter spices. It's definitely going to be a fall/winter scent for me. Smokey spiced vanilla and clove. It'll be perfect to mix with an Apple scent to add more Autumn/early winter complexity! It gives walking in late fall/crisp winter when the leaves are almost all gone and you have a cinnamon chai warm in your hands walking out in the cold, vs Midnight Circus which gives off Fall carnival with smoky campfire vibes
By the end of the drydown (1.5 hours, maybe 2), all I get is cinnamon and maybe some other spices, Very light sweetness coming from the vanilla. This'll be a good mixer with some of my more sharp winter woodsy scents from Pineward, for a great late fall/winteyule scent!
4.5 out of 5, only because this scent house goes poof too fast on me. All the scents from this house poof in about 2.5/3 hours
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Nightshade Elixir
Official Description: Nightshade Elixir is an intoxicating blend of deadly nightshade, Moonflower Nectar, Elderberry and absinthe. There is a mysterious quality to this blend that keeps it from being too sweet from the berries or too floral from the Moonflower. There is a perfect blend of fruity, floral, spice and mystery. It starts out on the sweeter side to draw you in (from the black currant and agave), before the deadly dark side starts to shine through on the dry down with black tea, saffron, absinthe and Anise. An all together delectable and mysterious blend that will keep you coming back for more
Top- saffron, anise, agave
Middle- Black current, black berry, jasmine
Bottom- amber, tonka, dark musk, black tea, absinthe, dark musk
My review: Okay, this one does go a bit on the powdery/clean perfume vibes. But, I do still like it?? Very strange, considering I hate clean/powdery scents, but this one balances the Clean notes with a juicy fruity flowery vibe that it balances things quite nicely and I can't stop smelling myself. There's a sharp powdery note in there, though, that keeps me from giving it a 4/5. I've narrowed it down to either the Amber or dark musk or tonka. Whatever it is, it's totally a dead note for me. It's popped up in a few other scents over the samples I've gotten, and it's been quite annoying. I May add something a bit juicier to this. But, it almost gives Spring Fairy Queen vibes. fruity and florally, but also a bit perfumey and stringent
3.5/5 I do like it, it's just a bit too powdery perfume-y for me. Under a pear or other fruit scent, I think it would be quite nice!
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Black no 1
Original description: This scent was inspired by Type O Negative's song, "Black No.1", with notes of crisp fall leaves, burning cedar, smoke and incense.
I wanted to capture the essence of burning leaves as well as autumn air, a faint whisp of clove cigarettes, freshly dyed hair and wolf skin boots. The scent opens up with deep Notes of leather, incense and smoke. Then, brightens slightly with spiced fruit in autumn air, intermingled with warm amber. Wrapped up on a base of burning cedar and musk. This is a deep, gender neutral scent, not for the faint of heart
Top- incense, cedar leaf
Middle- green leaves, smoke, pine, spiced fruit
Bottom- cedar, amber, musk, leather
My review: Ooh, you DEFINITELY get the spiced fruit. Where Memento Mori you get a late fall Slightly into Winter vibe, this scent is ALL winter vibes. Like you're drinking mulled berry wine and christmas shopping downtown, so there's a tinge of cold in the air and incense/fall scented candles are lit in the stores. This scent house REALLY likes its cinnamon note. Those spices are the strongest hit in this, first on my skin. Straight spiced mulled fruits
4/5 but only because the scent description notes of 'clove cigarettes, freshly dyed hair, and wolf skin boots' kinda gave me the vibe that it would be more a kickass chick wearing a leather jacket- kind of scent, but it's more a straightforward CHRISTMAS scent lol. Did not expect that vibe from the original scent description. If the leather and smoke and leaves and cedar were more prominent, maybe. I just REALLY want a good leather scent :/
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I hope this review helps out someone looking for new samples to try!
Also, if anyone could recommend a really good leather scent...please hook a girl up? ;)
2024.05.29 02:04 aquacryr Hair salon
 | Im looking for a salon in town that can do a good layered shag mullet style haircut on short/medium length hair. Im in the process of growing my hair out, and dont want to take a lot of length off but definitely need some shaping up. submitted by aquacryr to Eugene [link] [comments] I cant find a salon online that has pictures that look like itâll be a noteworthy place to go. Looking for recs on a salon or specific person known for edgy/shag/mullet type haircuts! Some pictures for an idea of what Iâm going for |
2024.05.29 00:57 Narrow-Initiative959 What to do, What to do?
Ok I'll get straight to the point. I ended a 7 year relationship over 6 months ago and I haven't had any "action" in the sack (If you know what I mean) Was on messenger yesterday with a good friend of both mine and my ex, let's call him "Bob" Anyway we were talking about this and that and then "Bob" said to me, "I always thought you were quite hot" but didn't want to say anything seeming I was already in relationship. I told him that I always kind of thought the same way. Long story short, He asked me now that I'm single, would I be keen to hook up? Like I said, it's been a fair while since I've had any action, So I said, I'm keen. It's about 10-12 hour drive to get to his city, as he can't come here due to this and that. So what I am asking you all is, Would it be wrong to hook up with him? Knowing that he is also friends with my ex? (For the record) My ex is currently in a relationship. I did not do anything with Bob, while I was in a relationship with my ex. We'll be keeping 007 about it, not planning on advertising the fact, and it will be strictly a good time, not a long time. So the question is, Should I, or shouldn't I?
submitted by Narrow-Initiative959 to Advice [link] [comments]