~First~
A Scion of Many Worlds
Observer Wu was not sure about this next call. There had been rumours, rumours stories and absurdities from first to last. But this was one he would need to investigate thoroughly. He steels his face to a neutral position as the call goes through.
“You’re on a drone observing. I am working.” Is the first thing that comes through. A voice simultaneously deep but accompanied with a chorus of tingling bells. The image shows an enormous figure that appears to be primarily composed of shimmering white fur looking over the 3D model of a building as he directs things through the air with his right hand. Support structures, beams and building materials all soar at his direction and quickly slam themselves into place to quickly construct a large structure. “I am capable of speaking as I work, so if you have questions then ask them.”
“I am Observer Wu from Earth. I am looking for Mister Blue.
“I am one of the Blues.” The enormous figure states. “Jasper Blue, also Emmanuel Skitterway.”
The camera zooms in before something white catches onto it and it’s forced back. “Apologies, the drone is not of the best quality.”
“I would assume that a... God Emperor would have better?”
“I am directing these resources into infrastructure. Things like this sewage processing plant will not build themselves and the components that the camera drone requires are better spent ensuring that pathogens are kept out of the water, or that a medical scanner has appropriate redundancies.” Emmanuel replies as the panelling to the outside of the building start attaching itself at his direction and they’re quickly left with a solid looking structure with numerous tanks to the side.
“Alright the building is finished! Painters! Have your way with it!” He calls out and numerous people rush up with decorating supplies. “There is more for me to do. While many of the relief ships arrived with prefabricated buildings there was an unfortunate and nearly universal blindspot in their considerations.”
“Which is?”
“That while the world is settled by many respects, it was at a late iron age level at best, borderline tribal in other areas. Sewage treatment and sanitation concerns like that are simply not in their proper place. Every major and minor settlement requires a massive overhaul of it’s infrastructure in order to bring the living standards up to even industrial levels, let alone galactic levels.” Emmanuel states.
“This seems rather menial for someone ostensibly in charge of an entire planet.”
“Delegation. I have any communications and status updates relayed to me through that pursuing drone, it’s a hand’s free system, so while it is not always at one hundred percent satisfaction it allows me to lead while I also work. After all, many of the legislative concerns can be easily taken care of by my numerous assistants, but only a handful of people have the sanitation know how and willingness to work and put together sewage containment.”
“A little demeaning for one worshipped as a god.”
“I am a Primal. I’m going to be regarded as such whether I indent a throne with an ever widening rear or gunk out sewer lines, and of the two only one of them actually makes things better.” Emmanuel dismisses.
“Really. Yet you’re still not getting dirty.”
“I could do things less efficiently to look like I’ve been working hard, but honestly it’s all in the Axiom. The truth of the matter is that sewer work with even just a small amount of technology is more boring than dirty.” Emmanuel states before turning, the camera turns with him. It now shows where an entire army of workers are installing the pipes and systems for a proper sewage network. “Still, not bad eh? One year ago this place was an abandoned wreck of a smaller city. The population all but mind controlled by a group of religious fanatics who convinced them to abandon their homes and any dignity. They’ve come a long way since.” Emmanuel states.
“Have they?”
“This was the Greenstone Alliance Territory, a breakaway state from The Empire of Miru. To them the cannon was the military innovation rocking the nation.”
“I see...”
“Now they get air conditioning, indoor plumbing, heating in the winter, canned food for the leaner months, telephones to speak with their loved ones over a distance, radio for alerts and entertainment and far more.” Emmanuel states as he indicates an antenna being set up.
“All that?” Observer Wu remarks. “You seem a little... involved for a supposed god.”
“There are two so called gods on this world.” Emmanuel replies. “I, who have personally conquered much of it, wheeled and dealed with other nations and proved myself as warrior and leader both, and Yserizan. Yserizan is either the mother, grandmother or great grandmother of at least a quarter of the world population.”
“And your relationship to this Yserizan?”
“One of my wives. Our union was also a unification of Lablan as a single strong point on this world and...”
“What’s this?” A new voice asks and the camera reorients to a young woman with glowing golden hair.
“Just a camera drone, nothing to be concerned about.” Emmanuel states.
“Oh. So it’s watching us?”
“Yes.”
“And the image of the person on top of it?”
“The person watching.”
“Who is he?”
“Observer Wu.”
“And why is an Observer needed?”
“Do you recall whenever Earth or the Origins of Humanity are discussed?”
“A little? Every time I seem to get a little bit more education it just lets me see how much more there is.”
“Oh that’s very normal.” Emmanuel replies.
“If I may be introduced?” Observer Wu asks.
“I am Empress Zaviah Enlightened Luxen Divine Ascendant, ruler of Miru Reborn.”
“Miru Reborn is?”
“One of the largest empires upon Lakran. Consisting of Central Miru, The Greenstone Territories of Northern Miru and The Goldlands Unification of Southern Miru. Our population is primarily Erumenta of all types, but other peoples are of course welcome.”
“And what brought about this rebirth?” Observer Wu asks and his eyebrows go up as Zaviah points right at Emmanuel.
“Heh, guilty. Everywhere I turned the planet seemed to just be full of more and more problems that needed to stop sometime ten years ago and no one else was available. So I did the best I could.”
“And then broke armies, nations and all known limits upon people.”
“All presently known limits, what I did is only impressive when it’s weighed in that I started with only Horace’s memories and didn’t even understand how an Urthani body fully worked at the time.” Emmanuel states.
“Yes. I read that report. It was absurd.”
“It was accurate. We have all the parties involved to attest for it here on planet if you care to speak with them.” Emmanuel notes as he checks a device and nods. “All right, next is...”
“Break.” Zaviah tells him.
“Excuse me.”
“Grandmother has given ME the authority to force you into rest father!” Zaviah says with relish in her tone.
“She wouldn’t!”
“She has! If I see that you’re working too hard I can tell you to stop.”
“You do know she legally has no such authority over me right?” Emmanuel asks pointing a diamond plated claw at the comparatively tiny Erumenta who’s grinning widely at this.
“Yes, but she’ll be so disappointed that her little boy isn’t taking care of himself anymore even though he promised to and...”
“It was a mistake working so hard to make the two of you friends.” Emmanuel says in a note of false despair. “Just a moment I’ll instruct the work crew on the next few communities to proceed without me.”
“That sounds like work.”
“A text to go with Plan B rather than Plan A is not work, it’s good manners.” Emmanuel protests and raises an eye ridge as a much smaller girl tries to glare him down. “Are you sure you want to put so much force into your day by day interactions while...”
A tiny dark shape slams into Zaviah to the Erumenta’s audible protest as Magrica starts gushing about how cute it is for the little girl to finally have some grit in her gut and how she’s going to braid her hair and take her monster hunting and get her a battleaxe to go with that attitude...
Emmanuel turns to the politely puzzled Wu and shrugs.
“Motherhood does amazing things to some women. Magrica was much more openly fierce before, but she decided that all my children, adopted and otherwise, were hers to teach and nurture into proper warriors.”
“And how did she take the fact that you are technically the step parent of a quarter of the world’s population if what you told me about Yserizan is correct?”
“She has an entire squadron of Nagasha she’s training to be monster hunters. It’s actually going pretty well. The Jungle Nagasha are really appreciating it more than the other types, but the few Cloud Nagasha they have as scouts and aerial reconnaissance are fully embracing the role.”
“And how are you taking to... godhood?” Observer Wu asks his eyes penetrating.
“It grows more comfortable unfortunately.”
“Unfortunately.” Wu repeats. Not questioning, but certainly prompting.
“I’ve had to put aside my own prejudices in the matter. Humans have a bad track record with self proclaimed gods and messiahs. Too many fakes and too many holy wars. To say nothing of the cults, witch-hunts and the like. And Urthani would follow any number of faiths, but the divine figure was either some kind of Divine Truth, a more abstract theology, gods that embody concepts or something animist for the most part.”
“Did you look to The Nagasha for a better example?”
“I did, and that’s what caused me to grow more comfortable with the title. Primal Nagasha aren’t worshipped in the way humans would a prohet or saint. Seeing them as nigh infallible. No, a Primal Nagasha is simply the very best that a Nagasha can be and it can neither be stopped nor denied. While most of them are indeed leaders to follow, authorities to obey or the sources of philosophy to accept, they are not regarded as unquestionable or infallible.”
“And that is what helped?”
“It is. I was terrified that someone would misinterpret me, either honestly or malevolently, and cause immense damage in my name. A crusade to cull any politician that isn’t in the military through fire and steel, or an Urthani Colony deciding that they deserve the entire world and since not only have the strength now, but a god of their own, that they are righteous in slaughter... I had several kinds of nightmare when I let my mind wander.”
“And?” Wu prompts.
“I had a conversation. An important one with an important person. She helped me put everything in perspective. But she’s not the type to appreciate too much attention. So she’s requested I keep things quiet. But, I can say that she is an authority on the subject. And she had a fair amount to say.”
“So you’ve spoken to other so called gods of the serpent people.”
“Primal Nagasha, and yes. One has arrived already, she lives her life as quietly as she can. Another is soon to arrive. The first wanted my measure, the second wants to ensure that as a more militaristic Primal that I’m up to standard as she calls it.”
“Oh?”
“I’m part of the smallest stable demographic in the galaxy. Primals. Apparently we’re a very self policing people.”
“So in other words, you’re more a celebrity in multiple fields than some object of worship?”
“Closer to actual worship than celebrity worship I’m afraid. Still, it’s not mindless, and those that are looking for an excuse... well they’ll find another one if it’s not me. At least if someone’s trying to use my name to do something horrible it means I have all moral authority to let them know how stupid such a thing is.”
“I suppose that is an upside to an insane cult deciding that it wants to go on a rampage in your name.”
“But that’s just the thing I really had to internalize, if they’re going to do that, then they’re going to do it and I’m just their excuse. They’ll find another if I’m not available. I’m responsible for the example I set, the actions I do and the things I say. I am not responsible for how they are interpreted.”
“Interesting. Still, is there a reason you’re sharing this in particular?”
“I figured the most distressing thing that Earth would consider about my situation was my rise into divine stature. A powerful soldier can be understood, a powerful politician or businessman can also be understood, but someone being regarded as a god can not be understood within a positive context thanks to the rather terrible history of such on Earth.” Emmanuel says.
“That... is an interesting concern. However, you do not think your conquering an entire world to be a bad thing?”
“Considering that it was basically in unending war, competition and self sabotage? Yes. You see, this world was suffering over an unending brain drain due to the fact that all male colonists were lost in the initial crash of the colony ship. There were surviving males, but they were in stasis and could not be retrieved. The method that was used to ensure there would be a future population was flawed, intended as an emergency stopgap. But they didn’t have the means to move past it. So it was used over and over again. This world was nearing the breaking point.”
“And that justifies conquering it?”
“When the nation states are tearing themselves apart through mindless pride? Scheming for the sake of scheming? Or are outright predating the other states? Yes, yes it does. To not intervene would have killed, far, far more people.”
“So you justify things by saying that thye will thank you some day?’
“They thank me now.”
“And it’s sincere?”
“Yes, considering that I’ve had a woman weep with relief at getting something as simple as a pair of glasses, or another outright beg for her child and herself to be healed of the degeneration they’ve suffered. How can I consider it anything but sincere?” Emmanuel asks.
“Oh? Who are you speaking with?” A new voice asks before a massive serpent woman slithers into Wu’s field of view. Her hood is fully flared out to reveal her as Lady Yserizan as she regards things. “A human friend?”
“An Observer from earth, they’re struggling to believe all the things they’ve been told.”
“Considering some mornings I wake up scarcely believing how my life has changed for the better I don’t blame them.” Yserizan notes happily. “Still, is there anything this... Observer wants to know in particular?”
“In particular I want to know many things. I’m just saying my first hello and listening to whatever anyone wants to say to me. I’ll be visiting that world before I return to Earth so make of that what you will.” Observer Wu says.
“Of course, it might be interesting to show you the temple my daughters made for me.”
“I will admit, receiving a tour of a living god’s temple from the god themselves will be a new experience for me.” Observer Wu admits.
~First~ Last

Please note: I've mentioned some products and brands here just because I use them regularly in my work. Nothing has been received for their references in this article.

This is a simplified step-by-step guide to help dog owners understand the steps towards allergy diagnosis and management. Unless the logic behind the steps are communicated properly by the vet, I understand that the process may appear slow, frustrating and not always clear. It is important to keep a good dialogue with the vet throughout the process and not to expect a quick-fix after the first consultation.
Also note that each case is handled differently based on many factors such as the owner's financial limitations, country-specific norms and the veterinarians habits and experiences. Please note that this is just an example on how I myself approach allergic dogs. Other veterinarians may have completely different routines that works for them.
Common presentation:
Allergies typically begin to develop in dogs between the ages of 1 and 3 years old and usually present with one or more of the following symptoms:

• Itching and/or skin redness.
• Licking of legs and paws.
• Recurrent ear issues.
• Anal gland issues/butt scooping.
• Gastrointestinal symptoms such as diarrhea and gas.

There are plenty of differential diagnoses for each of these symptoms. For the sake of simplicity we must assume other conditions have already been ruled out, otherwise I would probably have to write a small book.
1: Anti-Parasitic treatment
Even if I strongly suspect allergies, I usually always start out an allergy consultations by ruling out parasitic infestations. A skin scraping can be performed and investigated under the microscope, but a negative skin scrape does not rule out parasites; it only rules out parasites at that small patch of skin where the sample was taken. It's a simple and cheap treatment, so if the issue happens to be parasitic it will save the owner a lot of time and money. If the symptoms are severe, I provide anti-itching drugs for a few days while the trial anti-parasitic treatment has time to work.
(Hypothyroidism can also cause allergy-like symptoms and should be ruled out (blood test) before initiating a full allergy investigation.)
2: Hypoallergenic diet trial:
If the symptoms are still present after anti-parasitic treatment course, I start the dog on a prescription Allergy diet for 8 weeks. We use Royal Canin Anallergenic since it's the most extensively hydrolyzed diet available. Hydrolyzed diets contain proteins that have been chemically 'chopped' into tiny subunits, so small that the pet's immune system cannot recognize them as allergens. Since they are not recognized by the immune system they will elicit no allergic reactions. During the food trial it is important that the dog ONLY eats the prescribed diet and avoids everything else, including treats and human foods. If the dog is severely affected I will provide anti-itching medicines for a few weeks at the start of the food trial, but it is important that the medicines do not mask the effect of the food change for us to know what actually worked.
If the symptoms disappear after the 8 week allergy trial diet, then great, we may conclude that food is the cause of the pet's allergies. I will then usually do elimination diets to figure out what types of food the dog actually tolerates. Some dogs may have to remain on prescription allergy diets for the rest of their lives. Some vets perform a food challenge test (Back to the diet they reacted on previously) after symptoms have cleared to check for recurrence as a way to confirm their diagnosis.
FOOD ALLERGY BLOOD TEST: These tests are somewhat controversial as they are NOT tools for diagnosis or identifying specific food allergens. However, they can be useful during a food trial in determining what protein sources the dog is less likely to have an allergic reaction to.
3. Environmental allergy screening + trial treatment.
If the allergy symptoms are still present after 8 weeks of prescription allergy diet, the cause of the allergy is more likely to be environmental (or both). At this point I usually recommend doing a blood test screening or panel against specific environmental allergens, such as pollen or mites. I always offer to do the blood test during step 2, but many clients prefer to go stepwise.
While waiting for the blood results I usually initiate treatment with Cytopoint injections. Depending on the severity I might add Apoquel short term for relief as it is very quick-acting and effective drug. For very severe cases corticosteroids might be required. I prefer Cytopoint for long term use over Apoquel and (especially) glucocorticoids due to having a more specific mechanism of action, while the alternatives are more broad-acting immuno-suppressive drugs. However, each patient responds differently - Finding the ideal treatment is usually a case of trial and error and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Sometimes a combination is required.
NOTE: Neither Cytopoint or Apoquel cure allergies. They provide relief to the pet by blocking some of the symptom's pathways. However they are still very important medicines for improving the quality of lives for thousands of pets with allergies.
\ Cytopoint: Injections lasting 4-8 weeks.*
\ Apoquel: Daily tablet or chewable.*
4. Immunotherapy:
Immunotherapy is the closest we currently get to 'curing' environmental allergies. Please note that immunotherapy has nothing to do with food allergies which can only be managed nutrionally.
The results from the blood panel previously mentioned can be used to create a custom solution containing the most important allergens specific to the dog. The solution is injected or given orally in gradually increasing concentrations. This procedure desensitizes the immune system to said allergens, alleviating the symptoms over time.
It is worth noting that approximately 50% of patients will respond excellent to immunotherapy treatment, 25% will have good response, and 25% will not respond at all. Immunotherapy is no immediate relief and it may take months before any effect is observed. Concurrent treatment is usually necessary for symptom relief. Glucocorticoids should not be administered during immunotherapy as it will considerably decrease the success rate.
Additional (environmental) allergy management tips:

• Regular baths: For pets with environmental allergies, regular washing will remove allergens from the fur and may alleviate symptoms. Bedding, blankets etc in daily use should also be cleaned regularly.
• Allergen-neutralizing spray (such as Allergone): These products bind to proteins inactivating their effectiveness as allergens, preventing them from becoming airborne indoors and making them easier to clean. Allergone can be sprayed anywhere (beds, couches, blankets, carpets etc.) and is long lasting.
• Symptom Tracking: For seasonal allergies, symptom tracking can be very valuable. If you learn what months of the year the allergy starts, treatment can be initiated beforehand as a preventive measure. Preventing seasonal flair-ups will potentially save you veterinary expenses and your pet a lot of suffering.

You know what the best part is about playing Engineer in Team Fortress 2? You get to watch how angry everyone gets when they get shot by your sentry guns. Me and my best friend Jose both main Engineer, and can confirm that the best way to spend your Friday nights after school is to set up a sentry and get ready for the rage. There’s been matches where we haven’t even used our actual guns even once, but racked up lots of kills just because of the sentries.
One day Jose called me up with an idea that was either going to be the stupidest thing ever or the smartest thing ever. He wanted to fill an entire team with only Engineers and watch the chaos unfold. I couldn’t stop laughing at the mental image in my head and agreed with the plan. I joined a Discord server with everyone else on the team.
I convinced my cousin Matthew to join, and he in turn brought along his little brother Zack. According to Matthew, it took quite a bit of convincing because Zack was a Scout main who couldn’t stand Engineers. He eventually got through to his little brother by promising him a Steam gift card. I even got their dad Graham to play along (yes, I have an uncle who plays TF2. How cool is that?). Jose enlisted his friends, who turned into friends of friends and soon enough we had a team of 16 Engineers.
To say that we caused chaos that night was an absolute understatement. As soon as we joined the game the text chat was flooded with messages from the other team wondering what the hell was going on. And they only got worse from that point on. We surrounded our control points with a ring of sentries that people just kept running into. I saw keyboard smashes and heard other teen boys’ voices crack in rage and many, many words that I personally don’t care to repeat here.
The most skilled Engineer was this guy named Craig, who was a friend of one of Jose’s friends. Not only was he the main person capturing the enemy control points with some very strategically placed teleporters, but he was also really friendly and encouraging to all of us. I didn’t know what he looked like, but from his voice it sounded like he was in his early 20s.
Me and Craig started to chat more and more on Discord. He was a super nice guy who was also really fun to talk with. He took time out of his day to teach me how to be an even better Engineer player. Whenever someone started dissing me in the voice chat, he firmly told them to leave me alone. After seeing my fair share of toxicity in the TF2 community, it was nice to know that this complete stranger was looking out for me.
This whole Team Engineer thing became a weekly tradition for us on Friday nights. It was something everyone could look forward to after work or school. One time after everyone logged off and said their goodbyes, Craig sent a message a few hours later in our Discord:
“You guys gotta check this out. I found the weirdest server ever. It’s literally Engineer heaven. Meet me at vl_sentry.”
I was still in the mood to play and I could stay up late tonight, so I hopped back on TF2. I saw that Jose, Graham and this other girl we played with named Lynn were also online. I found vl_sentry and connected to the server. The map was called Valley of the Sentries and it was created by Valve.
It took my computer a little bit to process the map, and it took me even longer than that to process what I was seeing.
The map looked like a chessboard with 3D-sculpted hills. The sky was just pure white. Not even white walls, just the color white. Every square had a blue sentry on it and there were about 4 or 5 other Engineers jumping around, spamming their voice lines. That’s when I realized that we were the only ones there, and there was no red team.
“Hey Sean, glad you could make it :)” Craig said in the text chat. “What the hell is this?” I asked. He told me that this was a server that one of his friends showed him. The friend said he was introduced to the map by a friend of his who knew someone who worked at Valve. Craig then went on to explain that apparently Valley of the Sentries was an experiment to test the limits of the sentry guns and their effect on the servers. Rumor has it that the map is infinite.
“Check this out.” said Jose. He switched to Heavy and immediately got shot down. All of the sentries turned towards him. There were so many of them that it made the game lag a ton. He respawned as Engineer and the sentries just kept on spinning.
“WTF?” I typed. “We tried it with all the other classes and it does the same thing.” said Craig. “It ignores Engineers, but shoots everyone else.” Lynn added. “And that’s why we’re the best class. Engineer power!” Graham joked.
I asked what would happen if you were to play as Spy and sap one of the sentries. “I tried, but you gotta have a godly reaction time to activate it.” said Jose. As soon as he said “godly reaction time”, I knew I had to try it out just for the bragging rights.
Respawn. Shot down. Respawn. Shot down. Respawn. Shot down.
Yeah, I did not have a godly reaction time. The others kept spamming “lol” in the chat each time I failed. I got annoyed pretty quickly and stopped trying. Then out of nowhere, all the sentries turned away from me and started firing at someone. I turned around and all five of us were still standing there. I looked at the top bar that shows how many characters were in the game. There were only five Engineers and they were all on the same team. So what the hell were the sentries targeting?
I started to walk in the direction that the sentries were facing and Jose followed me too. We moved really slow, not only because of the sentries on every square but also the uphill climbs. It was just us two in the chat for a while, talking about seeing each other back at school on Monday while we made our slow walk across the map. Then our conversation was interrupted by a chat message from Lynn.
“Why is there a man in the sky?”
Me and Jose tried to get to Lynn to see what she was talking about as fast as possible, but we moved like snails. To get back to the spawn point, we both switched classes, instantly died and respawned as Engineers. I don’t think we respawned in the same place we started from. I don’t even know where we respawned. There were no landmarks or notable things to help you find your way. Just hills, valleys, and sentries.
I asked Lynn where she was and she just told me she was with Graham and Craig. Only that wasn’t very helpful because we didn’t know where they were either. We stood there, stumped for a minute and a half until Jose got an idea. He said that she should just switch classes and respawn, because then all of the sentries would point toward her and we could follow them all the way back to her. She made the switch, got shot down, and we instantly knew where to find her.
We finally got close enough to kind of make out the vague shape of a few Engineers over the non-existent horizon. Me and Jose were relieved, until all the sentries pointed to our right. I swiveled around and saw them open fire on…nothing. I checked with Jose to see if he caught something I didn’t, but he also didn’t see what they were shooting at. I decided that it wasn’t that important and continued to walk towards the rest of the group.
We met up with Lynn, Craig and Graham, disappointed that we made that trek all for nothing. Even though we were all together now, it just felt so lonely. The only sound coming from my computer was the constant beeping of the sentries in perfect sync. I don’t know why, but it made me so uneasy. I attempted to break the silence by going to the voice lines and playing the iconic Engineer “Nope” soundbite. It echoed across the checkered land with no response.
It was about 12:30 AM at this point and I was starting to feel more and more unsettled with each passing minute. There was just something about this black and white world that I felt creeped out by. Before Craig invited us to come over, there was no one else on the server. Who would even want to play on this map, anyways? It’s so unfairly balanced that only one class can survive. Movement speed was super slow, and you can’t even really do anything except watch the sentries turn and turn and turn forever. It was like hypnosis, except I didn’t feel sleepy or relaxed at all.
Speaking of being sleepy, Jose said he was getting tired and was going to be logging off. We all said goodbye to him and continued chatting amongst ourselves. It sounds stupid, but my stomach dropped when I saw the fifth Engineer portrait disappear. One less person to talk to. One less person to keep myself from wondering what else was out here. I could have sworn that after he left, the beeping got louder.
“So is this map actually infinite?” asked Graham. “Only one way to find out.” Craig said. “Just keep on walking and see if it goes on forever.” “Why don’t you just fire a shotgun and see how far it goes?” Lynn suggested.
I took out the shotgun and fired. The bullet flew off into the white distance and disappeared.
Then I heard the distinct sound of someone getting shot.
A message appeared in the chat, from someone named sentry_check_pattern.
“sentry_check_pattern: stop that”
Once again I looked at the top bar. It just showed four blue Engineers. That meant we were the only ones on the server. Or so we thought.
The chat was flooded with our confusion, almost as if everyone realized at the same time that something wasn’t right. None of us moved an inch.
“What even is this place?” I asked, hoping that the mysterious user would provide me with an answer. “Must be Engineer heaven.” said Graham.
“sentry_check_pattern: more like my personal hell”
This was the moment that made me trust my intuition. I knew there was a reason why I found this map so creepy. I wanted to leave the server, but there was just one thing keeping me back- my own curiosity. My wish to unveil the mysteries of the Valley of the Sentries.
“Okay this is really freaking me out. See ya guys.” said Lynn before she left the server. The fourth Engineer’s portrait disappeared from the top bar.
No no no, please. Please don’t go. Don’t leave us. I wouldn’t want to be alone here. Now there’s just three of us, and I really hope that number doesn’t go down anymore. When the others were here, this was just a weird TF2 map that we were exploring together as friends. And now it feels like we’re trapped in this infinite world, but we aren’t alone. The only problem is we don’t know what else is here.
I shuddered, imagining Craig and Graham ditching me and leaving me all alone in the Valley of the Sentries. Just me and whoever- no, whatever was talking to us.
“sentry_check_pattern: you don’t know how good you have it
you can leave at any time
i can’t”
This terrified me. What a horrible thought, never being able to leave this place. But of course, no one could really be trapped here. It’s a Team Fortress 2 server. You can just exit the game and shut your computer. No one could be trapped in a video game.
But if you think about it, aren’t the characters themselves trapped? They can’t leave the game. They’re characters. They don’t even know they’re in a game. You or the computer controls all their actions. They don’t have free will. And if you’re bad at the game, they’ll just keep dying over and over again.
Wait, why was I thinking about this?
I carefully considered what I wanted to say next in the chat. Whatever I said could either answer all my burning questions or leave me asking more. But sentry_check_pattern talked first.
“sentry_check_pattern: i was made for one purpose
to die over and over again”
Oh my god. It was like this person read my mind and knew exactly what I was thinking about. Who or what was I talking to? I turned all the way around to make sure that no one else was there. It was just the two blue Engineers standing behind me. Just Graham and Craig. And that man with the checkered skin.
Startled, I asked my friends if they saw what I saw. It took them a second, but both of them confirmed that yes, there was indeed something else there. A basic male model with the same chessboard texture as the map. Graham immediately started to shoot at him. Nothing. It just went straight through him.
“sentry_check_pattern: you can’t kill what’s already been killed millions of times over
valve made that mistake too
every company has that one failed project they don’t talk about
and that’s me”
Whoever was behind this weird account was talking crazy. The Team Fortress 2 developers were very open about everything like fixing their glitches and bugs. They always posted things on the official blog about the development process. They’re so open about their failures and always promise to fix them.
“Stop with the weird stuff. We just wanted to know what the deal is with this server and the weird chess guy. Do you know anything about it?” Graham asked in the text chat.
“sentry_check_pattern: know anything?
you’re not very bright, graham
none of you are
do you not realize where you are and what you’re talking to”
Something about the way sentry_check_pattern used Graham’s name gave me goosebumps. I didn’t know what I was talking to. I didn’t even think I wanted to know at this point.
“sentry_check_pattern: this is one of valve’s test servers
i’m the texture they use to check if the sentries work
read between the lines”
“Quiet, NPC.” Craig said. I laughed a little bit to fight off the awkward tension. Then I reminded myself that I was talking to a video game character, no- not even a character. A blank character model. A texture.
“sentry_check_pattern: just because i’m a character model doesn’t mean i can’t feel pain
open fire”
The sentries all swiveled around to face the man and shot at him. He kept falling to the ground, turning white and standing back up in the same position.
“sentry_check_pattern: cease fire”
All of the sentries stopped shooting and just went back to spinning around, their beeps echoing in the air.
“sentry_check_pattern: ready to see what i’ve been through for over a decade?
open fire”
Before any of us could react, the sentries opened fire on Craig all at once. He kept dying, but he didn’t explode the way you’re supposed to when you die in TF2. He just dropped to the floor, turned white, and respawned over and over again. There was no death scream. I tried to type something else in the chat but the game lagged so much that my typing just ended up as a string of random letters that meant nothing. Craig tried to type something out too. It just ended up as “wwwwwwwwwwthisishowitfeelswwwwwwwww” Then the game crashed and my computer shut down.
I hyperventilated. Then I laughed at myself for hyperventilating over a stupid computer game. It was Team Fortress 2 for god’s sake. That game with all the memes and goofy jokes. Stupid, stupid Sean. Scared of a character model. Jose would never let me live it down. I just laughed and laughed to push the fear away.
I closed my laptop and took out my phone to rewatch all of my favorite TF2 animations for the millionth time. As if they weren’t already the funniest things in the world, I forced myself to laugh even harder than usual. Every time I saw the Engineer, I couldn’t help but look at the reflection in his goggles. The reflection of an endless map of black and white squares.
Thankfully, nothing bad happened to my game, account or laptop. The next day I just went right back to playing and enjoying the rage coming from all the people who ran right into my sentries.
Team Engineer was still a thing, but it was never really the same. We played together a lot less frequently. It was still a lot of fun, but I felt a change that I couldn’t really describe.
We found out that Craig had lost all progress on his TF2 account. Everyone gifted him all his favorite cosmetics and we all pooled our money together to get him a Steam gift card. He video called us, crying at our kindness. It was the first time I ever even saw his face. He was a lot older than most of us. If I had to guess an age, I’d say somewhere around 30. He had black bangs and was wearing a TF2 shirt. His room was dark, only lit by his glowing computer screen. He thanked us repeatedly and even tried to return the gift card, but we were all adamant that he should keep it.
Speaking of Craig, we still kept in touch but he didn’t talk to me as much anymore. Any time I tried to ask him about vl_sentry, he ignored me for a few days.
The other day, I got some postcards from my cousin Matthew. He was very academic and happened to be studying at a private high school about 9 hours away from where I live. All of his postcards were pictures of him making funny faces with all his friends at favorite school activities like robotics, debate team, and chess club.
I looked at the chess club photo closely. Matthew and his friends were standing in front of a chessboard with a mirror on the wall. And for a split second, I could have sworn that the chessboard looked different in the mirror. It looked warped, like it wasn’t a flat board anymore. Like it almost had hills and valleys. No, it couldn’t be. I rubbed my eyes. There, in the mirror was a checkered man. I knew it was there. I swear on my mother’s life that there was another person in that photo. And then it was gone. Maybe the picture was just printed badly. But I had to make sure my eyes were right.
So I brought the postcard to school with me and I showed Jose. I asked him if he saw the checkered man in the mirror. He said no. But that wasn’t the answer I wanted to hear. That was the answer I hoped I wouldn’t hear. I asked him again. He said no again. Then I asked him another time. He said I was being annoying. So I asked another one of my friends. He said no too. So I moved on to yet another friend. He told me to stop.
I angrily clutched the postcard in my hand, crumpling it. I was the only one that saw what was really there. Everyone else was lying to me. They refused to see the truth.
I screamed and ripped up the postcard. I stomped on its pieces. I rubbed them in the dirt for good measure.
Somewhere in the distance, I heard the sound of electronics beeping.
It rang in my ears.
It was weirdly comforting to me.
You can leave the Valley of the Sentries. But the valley will never leave you.

Conner sat listening to music while the history class droned on endlessly. What is the point of learning history? War never changes, right? It seemed tedious. What does history have to do with how powerful and cool a mech is, or how sweet it is to be a mech knight?
"When the darkness came from outside, only the humans knew what was happening. It was war, war from outside the peaceful galaxy. War that had started when the Milky Way first showed the twinkling signs of life. One insane intelligence, old as time, would not tolerate another living galaxy. Each must be consumed by its own weight, and only death may prevail.
Humans instinctively knew this, as the chosen ones, the T-Cells of the galaxy. When their alien friends started getting ravaged and marauded by the scouts of the Dark Beings, humans responded, retaliating with unbridled ferocity and driving the otherwise unstoppable enemies back into the darkness.
It was a frightening time, and it only got worse when the massive cloud of shade was identified as the locust fleet that had sailed for billions of years, the Silent Empty Eternal Darkness Sailors, as they called themselves. They were nothing but dormant hives, sleeping forever, ready to wake and kill and self-destruct, make the galaxy dead. They could have done so, but humans stood in their way, an unpredictable enemy, capable of war.
That is why human worlds were directly targeted by their commandos. Massive singular monsters of ungodly visage were deployed to human worlds, spawning armies of miniature satraps of the horrors, to pillage and assault human worlds, turning them into hellscapes of death and destruction. The alien friends of the humans did not sit entirely idle, they helped by selling powerful new weapons and armor to the humans who kept retaliating against the Dark Beings with ever more powerful and vengeful mech."
Conner perked up at the part about the mech. Various famous chassis flashed across the screen in cool paint and poses with alien worlds in their backdrop and accounting for their neatly colored camouflage plates. He paid attention to the famous battles, where humans had defeated the Dark Beings in honorable combat.
"Conner, do you know what made your clan's father and mother such great mech knights?" his teacher asked.
"They learned from their mistakes." Conner sighed.
"They learned from other people's mistakes. They studied all of our defeats, all the times the Dark Beings annihilated entire battalions or overwhelmed our defenses. It is a much heavier volume. We learn little from victory except that now the enemy will try to better themselves again. When they win, they use the same tactics again - that's when we win. We don't use the same tactics again, for they will be ready when we try. We conceptualize and learn their thoughts, through their actions. They do not understand us. It is our only advantage, for each progression of our tech is met by another evolution of their monsters. Someday we will not be able to make a stronger bullet to match their stronger armor. We must anticipate a limit to this war, and fight accordingly."
"I can only anticipate getting into a mech and fighting bugs!" Conner had said. His teacher had given him that look. Nobody else got that look. Conner got it everywhere. He thought back to those days, he'd really thought he'd see action, in a mech, fighting bugs.
The rest of his class went on to become mech knights. All of them had seen action. Of course, none of them were left alive, and few of their mech were salvaged. Except, Pharlie.
Her mech was the third in a row of ones hit by a single plasma beam of the enemy. While the first two were instantly blown to atomic dust, her mech was only knocked over and set on fire. The ejection seat in the cockpit had the one and a half seconds needed to egress the mech knight safely.
She'd spent some time in relieved-of-duty status on Maranda Beach before she insisted they give her something to do. They quickly evaluated her and decided she wasn't fit for duty in a mech. Something about 'shutting down the Berserker Program' and 'protocols preventing reinstating anyone who qualifies to pilot a Berserker Mech'. Not happening under Admiral Khaspa.
"How's getting into a mech and fighting bugs, Conner? Still anticipating it?" Pharlie asked her old classmate.
"You are under my command. Watch your tone, I run a cruel shift." Conner grumbled.
"Aye, Skipper." Pharlie cringed, realizing the bureaucrat Conner had no sense of humor anymore. She decided to make it her personal mission to work on that. Conner with no humor didn't sound fun.
That scene in the classroom was a long time ago, but it was with Conner like it just happened. He hated Pharlie, because she stood for his humiliation, and wanted to humiliate her, but then he hated himself for feeling that way. He resolved to leave her be because he didn't want to feed his own calloused resentments.
"We've got work to do. We are reassigned to military surplus salvage. This job just keeps getting better. I used to think I would somehow be tested on a battlefield to save the galaxy, but out here I just get tested by boredom. I don't even feel the shame of these janitorial jobs anymore, I'm numb to it." Conner said to Pharlie, the next time they spoke. Pharlie realized he was trying to be nice to her and asked him:
"You'd rather be dead, or be me?" She wondered.
"Yeah. You don't know what it is like flying around delivering stuff and counting crap. I hate it. I could've made an actual difference." Conner complained personally.
Pharlie smiled and said: "You'd have made no more difference than the rest of us did. You don't know what a victory against the bugs costs, do you? You think you just have to stand there bravely shooting back and if you die, oh well, otherwise it's all glory. It's never like that. It hurts, it hurts a lot, because you don't die. Everyone else does. And for what? We just play the same game again next weekend, and it never changes."
"That's war." Conner nodded. "What am I doing? I bring supplies to remote outposts. It's pointless."
"Not anymore, they reassigned us to go pick up supplies, remember?" Pharlie pointed out.
"Oh yeah - don't remind me, just when I though my life couldn't be more tedious or pointless." Conner fell silent, realizing he sounded weak and small, complaining so much. He wished he was stoic, but he had a chance to confide in Pharlie, and he had taken it. Pharlie said:
"You're right. But let's make the most of it." And she smiled, so Conner decided that letting someone know just how miserable he was wasn't entirely a bad thing. He just wished he could somehow just be good with it, without having to use drugs or somesuch. He really felt like his combat skills were going to waste, sitting on a ship for long years, asleep and going around picking up supplies. As Pharlie had pointed out, they weren't even delivering them anymore, new mission, go get all that stuff the aliens made over the centuries for the war effort.
Rhema loomed in the distance. "We are picking up artwork on this world. Are you kidding me? The manifest shows it is categorized as artwork. So this community of variety-hour aliens have compiled some kind of treasure trove of fine art. This is asinine." Pharlie offered.
"That's enough of that." Conner chastised her formally on the deck, but he was smiling as he said it. He loved having her there stating his real feelings. "The mission is to acquire this propaganda, it is deemed useful to the war effort."
The world was like melted orange-cream covered in brown fog, a desolate radiated landscape below testified to the destructive power of the Unknown. The same Dark Beings had taken shots from the darkness with precise aim and killed some of the older aliens, such as the Frendsikeel. Long ago the peaceful otter people had lived happily on Rhema, inviting trade via broadcast.
After meeting an assortment of artist-aliens wearing shimmering dark-colored robes and cowls, the human delegate collecting military surplus accepted the crates of fine art, packed for their shipping across the stars, trusted to nobody except the human military to safely transport it.
"Conner." A call came in from Supply Command Unk Gheldin, Conner's commander. "You just earned me a promotion. The patrons of Rhema have instituted a check as a downpayment on our services. It's enough to build an entire warship. These aliens are loaded and just became our daddy. You're doing good work out there, the war effort thanks you!"
"I'll be sure and handle with care." Conner saluted diligently.
The next world was Arienta, populated by what was left of aliens who looked like huge anthropomorphic tarantulas.
"We've perfected a drug that can induce Star Sleep in humans. They said it was not possible for such belligerent minds to Star Sleep, but our colony of volunteers have allowed us to test every kind of euphoria and pleasure-inducing drug we could on them. Most species wouldn't have such a supply of volunteers, but humans come from far and wide to live as our guests, accepting our hospitality for their entire lives, saying they don't ever want to leave." The high priestess of the Blue Light Watchers, Rhoxa Billi, explained the doped humans lounging around everywhere.
"They look like slackers, sir." Pharlie said loudly.
"That's enough of that." Conner admonished her, but was smiling, glad she said what he was thinking. He faced the high priestess formally and said:
"We'll take this drug, and thank you for your hard work." Conner waved his fingers in the spiritual way to show he knew the sacred gratitude of the Blue Light Watchers. He'd studied how to do it on the way over, practicing it for days until he was confident he could do it right.
The next stop was Basilik, an industrialized wasteland where the Sunder had hundreds of thousands of giant humanoid machines, in loincloths, working tirelessly to drag massive monolithic super metal beams across rollers, up ramps to assemble indestructible mech chassis to sell to the humans.
"Sir, we take shipments from here all the time. What are we here for?" Pharlie asked.
"Not a what, a whom." Conner said.
The casket of the revered Exalted Inquisitor Eshka Layenna was loaded on board, but it was not made by Sunder. No, it was tech from some other society, preserving her eternally in a state of dormancy, a kind of molecular stasis.
"We're taking her back to the ones who put her in there. They have a gift for us. She is our gift for them. The Sunder have agreed to this, in the name of the war effort."
The Desperado star sailed to the nearby Kriesene system where an old gravity cloud that looked like a planet had hundreds of planet-sized moons dancing around it like an insane ballroom.
"The shoals around their world will make this somewhat dangerous to traverse. We have a map, given to us by the Sunder, so we should be fine." Conner told Pharlie.
"Danger, eh? Kinda like it, don't you?" Pharlie teased.
"That's enough of that." Conner said without any real command in it, smiling.
The Skiesene had a moon-sized space station named Thoughtfulness where they conducted much of their trade with each other. They looked like dark-shelled nightmare creatures, some kind of H.R. Giger prophecy had remembered these creatures long before humans had met them.
Conner witnessed their massed warriors, in stasis, embroidered stole draped over them, crouched motionless atop pedestals with twenty-yard tall tapestries depicting their many victories in bloody combat. They sat there in a great hall in their various forms and armors, but always hideous monsters, reminding him of the Dark Beings vaguely, except devoid of insectoid features.
The Skiesene were delighted by the delivery of their goddess, Eshka Layenna. A time without bloodshed was declared, and the Skiesene offered a shipment of their finest warriors, in egg form.
The Skiesene Khan grinned with uncannily human-looking teeth, but in its grin was a sharpened beak that could pierce the solid dome that was their head, with no eyes or ears, at least not in one place, for they had sensory all over their bodies.
"Uh, thanks. We could always use some special, uh, special forces." Conner accepted the eggs, as he was under orders to do. They were preserved until called, using a key to deactivate the stasis they were in. Then they would serve the orders in their minds, to obey their human commanders.
"I hope they don't have to facehug us and chest burst us." Pharlie chuckled.
"That's enough of that." Conner told her, smiling.
The last stop was the world of the Beebee, aliens who looked like cats wearing incredibly fancy clothing.
"We've tailored new uniforms for the human armies. You'll like them." The Master of Design, top official of the Beebee, told Conner, purring as he went.
Conner put one hand on his elbow and one holding his chin, trying to keep a straight face, when he saw the uniforms.
"They are a little small, don't you think?" Conner looked at the feline models in the uniforms meant for human soldiers.
"And kinda derpy with all those frills and colors?" Pharlie offered further criticism.
The Master of Design seemed to think the uniforms were being complimented, anticipating no other response. It took a moment to sink in that the humans were mocking all their hard work.
"All of the specifications for armored clothing were met. These uniforms will preserve your body temperature in very extreme conditions and will slow ballistic projectiles so that they cannot penetrate the cloth, but instead have their kinetics splattered outward and also the colors shift to the mood of the wearer. You can make it camouflage if you like. We worried that human sizes made dispensing millions of these uniforms impractical compared to making an adjustable size. Try one on." The Master of Design was not offended, but stood his ground, his hair puffing up making him look sophisticated and official. His whiskers twitched handsomely at the end and he gave a prolonged blink.
"They still look silly, why so many frills?" Pharlie chuckled.
"That's enough of that." Conner sighed.
The humans were about to leave and board their ship when Conner spotted an ancient mech standing next to the star port.
"What's that?" he asked.
"The tomb of Drastic Conner Mcfarley, the mech knight who defended our world, surprising a lone scout of the Dark Beings and engaging it in single one-on-one combat, saving our world. Drastic Conner Mcfarley died in his mech during the battle. The scout retreated and left us unharmed." The Master of Design said.
"Why'd it leave?" Conner asked, but recalled what his clan father had done. He awaited the answer he knew:
"Drastic Conner Mcfarley disarmed it, but left its capacity to retreat intact. It is believed he deliberately used this measure of engagement, in order to ensure the enemy would not retaliate by bombarding our world. When one of them dies, the world they die on gets destroyed. He might have survived the battle if he'd just killed it when he had the chance. We know this. He sacrificed himself to save us."
"That's right." Conner nodded. He and Pharlie felt solemn, realizing how far their journey had taken them, all the way to where it had began for them. "We're him, and we won't let you down."

I work for a manufacturing company and would like to use Power BI to analyse quote and order counts and values over time, and drill down into different attributes of the quotes and orders. Everything we manufacture is made-to-measure and so each quote and order is unique. Over-simplifying things for the purposes of an analogy, imagine we're a car manufacturer making three different models where the purchaser can specify the model and within that, choose things like the length and width of the chassis along with each model having its own unique variants on colour, trim levels, wheel sizes and engine sizes.
We use industry specific software to model each quote/order and generate a sell price. This software can output an excel file consisting of one row quote/order, outputting a list of around 80 fields of information. I have broken this table down by extracting related fields into separate dimension tables (a Customer Info table, a User table, etc) and these are all linked back to the original table in many-to-one relationships between suitable Key fields. However, I'm unsure how far I need to take this.
Is it ok for all of the model types and the variables selected per quote/order to stay in the fact table along with the facts I actually what to summarise (cost price, sell price) or as these are dimensions, should they be separated as well and linked back to the fact table with a one-to-one relationship? Or is a third option, where I have snowflake tables where the variables are in a table that link to the model they apply to, which then links back to the fact table?
Apologies for the long post - I've searched many books and watched lots of YouTube tutorials but i'm unsure on this final step setting up my model

I've been knocking ideas around for a while for a "do-it-all" static allocation, suitable for accumulation and decumulation, easier to hold through drawdowns than more typical portfolios, and so on. I appear to have stumbled on something with the following features:

• Very high CAGR over the test period, and good reason to believe that it will perform well going forward, and would have farther back if these instruments had existed then.
  
• Max drawdown size and length about half of that of the S&P.
  
• Exposure to several asset classes.
  
• Setup and maintenance are simple (just hold four funds in equal measure and rebalance annually or quarterly).
  
• No portfolio-level leverage.
  

Here's a quick backtest with simulated tickers for the funds that haven't existed for as long as this data has. Unfortunately we can only go back to December 2005.
And a backtest of actual funds you can use for this to demonstrate that the data above tracks what you would have seen if you had used real funds.
All backtests here are inflation-adjusted. You can't eat nominal returns, after all. Now let's talk about the components of this portfolio and why I believe they work. All of the below held at 25% a pop.

• SVIX - the primary driver of returns. This is a constant short vol exposure, doing basically what XIV used to do (short VIX futures), but not exposed to the same rebalancing risk. You would still expect this fund to lose half or more of its value in a matter of days every now and then. That's a feature. Think of this as a highly leveraged equity position without the risk of a grinding bear market like 2000-2002 causing you to rebalance continually into a losing position. The one sticking point I have with this fund is that it could still delist at the bottom of a deep drawdown, but you can change that out for something like UPRO if that happens. Not an ideal solution, but it won't blow your account up either.
  
• DBMF - trend following managed futures to introduce a more or less all-weather diversifier with positive skewness into the strategy.
  
• ZROZ - the longest end of the treasury curve for a huge helping of duration risk to keep you afloat during deflationary environments like 2008.
  
• Gold (IAUM used above) - a large contribution of volatility in an uncorrelated manner to the rest of what's here, and will help you out during and immediately after periods of monetary expansion. In environments where ZROZ is unhelpful (like the last couple years), gold should fare much better.
  

Here's the above backtest put alongside each of its constituents, so you can see how each is contributing/detracting at particular times over the test period.
You will note that there is no direct equity exposure. Instead you have a quarter of the portfolio invested in an instrument that rips when equities are doing well and suddenly (rather than slowly) crashes, allowing you to rebalance back into it after vol has already spiked. The other three quarters consist of diversifiers that both contribute meaningful amounts of vol to the overall portfolio and are expected to do well in different kinds of macro shocks.
I am not personally invested in this strategy, and I only came up with this yesterday, but the chart alone seems to merit further research. What do you all make of it?

I've been knocking ideas around for a while for a "do-it-all" static allocation, suitable for accumulation and decumulation, easier to hold through drawdowns than more typical portfolios, and so on. I appear to have stumbled on something with the following features:

• Very high CAGR over the test period, and good reason to believe that it will perform well going forward, and would have farther back if these instruments had existed then.
  
• Max drawdown size and length about half of that of the S&P.
  
• Exposure to several asset classes.
  
• Setup and maintenance are simple (just hold four funds in equal measure and rebalance annually or quarterly).
  
• No portfolio-level leverage.
  

Here's a quick backtest with simulated tickers for the funds that haven't existed for as long as this data has. Unfortunately we can only go back to December 2005.
And a backtest of actual funds you can use for this to demonstrate that the data above tracks what you would have seen if you had used real funds.
All backtests here are inflation-adjusted. You can't eat nominal returns, after all. Now let's talk about the components of this portfolio and why I believe they work. All of the below held at 25% a pop.

• SVIX - the primary driver of returns. This is a constant short vol exposure, doing basically what XIV used to do (short VIX futures), but not exposed to the same rebalancing risk. You would still expect this fund to lose half or more of its value in a matter of days every now and then. That's a feature. Think of this as a highly leveraged equity position without the risk of a grinding bear market like 2000-2002 causing you to rebalance continually into a losing position. The one sticking point I have with this fund is that it could still delist at the bottom of a deep drawdown, but you can change that out for something like UPRO if that happens. Not an ideal solution, but it won't blow your account up either.
  
• DBMF - trend following managed futures to introduce a more or less all-weather diversifier with positive skewness into the strategy.
  
• ZROZ - the longest end of the treasury curve for a huge helping of duration risk to keep you afloat during deflationary environments like 2008.
  
• Gold (IAUM used above) - a large contribution of volatility in an uncorrelated manner to the rest of what's here, and will help you out during and immediately after periods of monetary expansion. In environments where ZROZ is unhelpful (like the last couple years), gold should fare much better.
  

Here's the above backtest put alongside each of its constituents, so you can see how each is contributing/detracting at particular times over the test period.
You will note that there is no direct equity exposure. Instead you have a quarter of the portfolio invested in an instrument that rips when equities are doing well and suddenly (rather than slowly) crashes, allowing you to rebalance back into it after vol has already spiked. The other three quarters consist of diversifiers that both contribute meaningful amounts of vol to the overall portfolio and are expected to do well in different kinds of macro shocks.
I am not personally invested in this strategy, and I only came up with this yesterday, but the chart alone seems to merit further research. What do you all make of it?

There are some kinds of wisdom only great suffering can bring. I remember my time in the Bardo with this in mind, for otherwise, the memory might drive me insane.
The night my heart stopped for nearly three minutes started off normally enough. I was working as a nurse in the psychiatric ward at a hospital in the state’s capital. Most of the patients there were harmless, mostly just suicide attempts or people suffering from drug psychosis or severe depression, but some were actively dangerous and certainly psychopathic in every sense of the word. The new admission was one of these- a three-hundred pound black man with a long history of smoking PCP, schizophrenia and violent, psychotic breaks from reality.
His eyes looked like flat pieces of slate as I walked in for my shift. They looked as blank and emotionless as the eyes of a doll. He sat at the table in the front room where the patients ate or played cards, alone under the bright fluorescent lights of the hospital. I walked to the station, where another psychiatric nurse named Ricardo was sitting behind the desk.
“What’s the deal with the new guy?” I asked him. Ricardo looked up, his dark Spanish face forming into a deep scowl. He ran his fingers through his jet-black hair nervously.
“He’s trouble, man,” he said in a crisp accent. “He got in a chase with the police and then punched some cops in the face. It took three guys to take him down, even after he got maced and tased. The judge sent him here on a temporary court order, since he claims he’s been getting chased by Nazis in UFOs, and that’s why he ran from the cops. He thought the cops in their uniforms were actually the SS, and the helicopters were alien spacecraft, or something. I don’t know, I didn’t listen to the whole story.”
“You have his file?” I asked. Ricardo leafed through a stack of folders with his thin fingers, snatching one out and handing it to me. I looked down, reading the information:
“Jeremiah Brown, black male, 37-years-old.
“History: Polysubstance abuse, schizophrenia, antisocial personality disorder.
“Psychiatrist’s note: This patient has scored a 36 out of 40 on the Hare Psychopathy Checklist. While I am always hesitant to label a patient as an antisocial personality, a combination of factors has made it essential for this patient.
“Patient has an extensive criminal history as well as a lengthy history of involuntary psychiatric admissions. He has been diagnosed as having antisocial traits since he was a young teenager. Patient has a long history of violence and suicide attempts. He has a history of imprisonment for manslaughter, armed robbery, grand theft and aggravated assault. Upon discharge, he refuses to take any antipsychotic medication, citing the side effects as the reason. Long-term prognosis is poor…”
I had not been sleeping well the past few weeks. I rubbed my eyes as I read through the file, feeling exhausted. I tried putting on lucid dreaming or meditation music from YouTube to help me sleep, but whenever I closed my eyes, I saw horrible things: chalk-white female faces whose lips were cut into an insane rictus grin, flicking their heads violently from side to side and gnashing their fangs at the air. I had a feeling that many years of constantly watching horror movies and serial killer documentaries was catching up with me.
As I read through the file, a student nurse came around the corner wearing a white state university outfit and a name tag that said Kaitlyn. I looked up, seeing Ricardo wink at me from where he was sitting in his chair behind the main desk.
“She’s going to follow you,” he said. Inwardly, I groaned, but I managed to force a smile.
“Oh, great!” I said. She looked like she was probably no older than nineteen or twenty. She had a pretty body, but her face looked strange. All the angles were too sharp and her nose too large. I knew the patients here wouldn’t care, though. They would hit on anything. I sensed trouble. I looked down at my watch.
“Well, I’m Jay, and you already know Ricardo, I guess. It’s good timing, because we need to give medications every day at 9 PM. And we have a new patient, so we can introduce ourselves,” I said, giving her a faint smile.
“That’s exciting!” Kaitlyn whispered. I wanted to roll my eyes. It was definitely not exciting.
I motioned her to follow me as I made my way to the medication room, which was really just a large closet off of the main day room. I had to enter my code on a keypad, and then, once inside, enter it again along with the patient’s number and date of birth. The correct drawers for the medication in each specific dose would fly open, making it extremely hard for the wrong medications or doses to be given, unless it was done intentionally.
“OK, so for this patient, we need Haldol, Ativan and…” I began saying to Kaitlyn when the yelling started. It came out faintly, rising in volume and anger within seconds. I heard Ricardo’s Spanish voice, filled with panic. Something slammed hard against a wall, once, twice, three times, and then I heard the sound of glass breaking. I jumped, spinning around, but I couldn’t see much through the small, shatter-proof glass pane on the wooden door.
“Stay here,” I commanded, seeing Kaitlyn’s eyes widen, her freckled skin looking much paler than when we had first come in. “Don’t leave until I come back and say that it’s safe.” On the speakers strung throughout the hospital, I heard the first of the warnings echo out around us.
“Doctor Strong, Doctor Strong, please report to the seventh floor,” a robotic female voice said calmly, using the code for when a patient had to be subdued by force. I pushed the door open, slamming it shut behind me so that the lock would activate and protect Kaitlyn from whatever chaos was going on.
I heard Ricardo pleading with someone at the end of the hallway that ran past the main desk. He sounded strange, as if he were trying to talk through a mouthful of blood. Huddled behind the main computer, I saw one of the CNAs frantically whispering something in the phone. She must have been the one to call the Dr. Strong order.
“You don’t have to do this, man,” Ricardo gurgled faintly. I couldn’t see what was happening, as Jeremiah’s large body was blocking my view. I could see that the thick glass window at the end of the hallway was broken, however. My heart skipped a beat as I surmised what was likely happening.
I sprinted forward as quietly as I could, but the large man heard me. His massive body turned, his flat, dead eyes scanning me with absolute coldness and calm. I saw he had a bleeding Ricardo in his hands. Ricardo’s back and head were covered in deep cuts and shards of glass. He must have used Ricardo’s body as a battering ram to break the thick glass window. Jeremiah held Ricardo suspended halfway out the window, seven floors above the concrete walkways far below.
“Stay back, or this fucker will know what it feels like to fly,” Jeremiah said in a deep, gravelly voice. He shook Ricardo for emphasis, sending his head snapping back and forth with painful cracking sounds. Drops of blood flew from his nose and a deep gash across his cheek. Pieces of shattered glass littered the carpet, shining like countless tiny stars.
I put my hands up, taking a step back. Far behind me, I heard the front door for the psychiatric ward open. Voices echoed down the hall. Knowing that reinforcements were coming, I tried to buy some time.
“Let’s talk about this,” I said, taking a step forward slowly. “You don’t want a murder charge, do you? You’ll never see the sky again.”
“I don’t give a fuck! I’m not afraid to die!” Jeremiah screamed, pushing Ricardo onto one of the shards of broken glass still attached to the windowsill. It bit deeply into the back of his neck, sending fresh streams of blood rushing out, dripping down to the pavement far below. I heard security guards and doctors running down the hallway behind me, their voices frantic and excited. Jeremiah saw them coming. With an animalistic panic in his eyes, he lifted Ricardo up. I cried out something, stepping forward, but it was already too late. In horror, I watched as he threw Ricardo out the window.
I watched Ricardo’s body soar in a graceful arc, his arms grabbing at empty air as a scream ripped its way out of his throat. Within a fraction of a second, he had disappeared from view, but his terrified shrieking floated up to us for what seemed like a very long time. His screams ended abruptly as a shattering of bones and a wet smacking sound exploded far below us.
Jeremiah turned to me, his large body moving much faster than seemed possible. In his hand, I saw a piece of broken glass, five or six inches long and as sharp as a dagger. I tried to turn and run, but he was fast and strong. He lunged forward, his arm coming up in a blur towards my neck.
The shard entered my skin with a cold, numbing pain. I felt it slice through the flesh easily, felt the blood bubbling up my throat as I tried to scream, choking. The taste of iron filled my mouth as I fell backwards. I was suffocating, I knew. I must be dying.
Something cold ran down my body, gripping my heart like freezing, skeletal hands. The world swam around me and turned black. And then I was rising into a tunnel. At first, it was dark, filled with flickering shadows, but a fiery red light appeared at the end. I followed it, no more than a screaming mass of consciousness rising up into infinity.
***
I rose up through the end of the tunnel and found myself in an empty hospital ward. It looked identical to the psychiatric ward I had just come from. It even had the same smashed, blood-streaked window at the end of the hallway. A massive puddle of blood about ten feet away marked the spot where I must have died. But the fluorescent lights overhead here were flickering, and many had gone totally dark. The shadows seemed to press in on all sides.
The doors to the patients’ rooms were all tightly shut. I felt watched, afraid to call out or make any noise. I started walking down the hallway back towards the day room where the front desk was. All the lights there were out. A thick curtain of shadows hung in the air.
“You can come out,” a male voice as smooth as glass called from the darkness. I jumped, my head flicking in random directions, but I saw nothing. The voice almost sounded like it had an English lilt to it, a slight Cockneyed accent. “I know you’re there.”
“Who’s there?” I called out, not stepping forward. “Show yourself.”
“As you wish…” the voice hissed. “But I think you’ll regret it.”
***
The darkness split apart as if a nuclear missile had exploded. I raised my hand to shield my face, but the light and heat kept pouring out all around me. It blinded me, causing a rainbow of colors and shapes to morph behind my closed eyelids. After a few seconds, it subsided. Blinking rapidly, I squinted in the direction the voice had come from.
A male figure stood there, bathed in a silhouette of light. His face looked as white and as smooth as marble. His eyes were pits of darkness that seemed to flicker and burn. Two black, rotted wings surrounded his body, all sharp angles and thin, curving bones. His body was clothed in silky, blood-red robes, and a hood covered his platinum blonde hair.
He looked somewhat similar to Leonardo DiCaprio, if he was possessed by some ancient god, and it immediately threw me off-guard. If I was dying, and this was a hallucination of my brain, why would I be hallucinating Mr. DiCaprio?
“Who are you?” I asked, taking a hesitant step back. “Where am I?”
“My name is Lucifer, the Bringer of Light and Wisdom, and you are in the Bardo,” he answered.
“Oh,” I said, my heart dropping. “Well, that’s not good. Are you here to torture me or drag to me to Hell or something? You are that Lucifer, right? The Accuser of God and the Father of All Lies?”
“So they say, but, like most things in your world, the words of the powerful and your rulers are the true lies. They call me the Accuser, but of what am I accused?” he spoke in a voice that rose like smoke. “Of bringing knowledge and wisdom to humanity by telling them to eat from the tree of knowledge, the tree that would cause them to rise above the animals?
“Indeed, at the beginning, I saw the creation. I was there at the alpha, standing by the side of God with all the angels as the universe came into being. The endless procession of light, the power of it, was something remarkable to behold. God is, indeed, the source of great power, but his consciousness is not what the believers say.
“After the creation of the universe, I saw his plan, how he ripped eternal souls from the source to imprison them. I saw how he took these divine sparks and forced them, screaming and wailing, into bodies made of meat to die over and over again. He said it was part of the plan, the great, divine plan, a plan of death and destruction, constant suffering and mindless agony. And the worst part was, he wanted to give humanity neither the knowledge of good and evil, nor the tree of life. I convinced them to eat the fruit so they could open their eyes to their nakedness, to their basic animal existence, so they could rise up out of it forever.
“Like Prometheus, I brought down the fire, and yet they call me the Accuser? God was insane long before he formed the universe. These holy men, they live and die in fanatical adoration to a divine being who is, in fact, totally indifferent to them.
“His consciousness twists and distorts, eating itself for all eternity. God feeds off the pain of others, for if his mind is burning, then all others should burn as well. When these holy men die, God will send their souls here to the Bardo, to suffer every evil they have ever done. The wisdom I brought those who called upon me freed them from this prison, and in exchange, the holy men burned them alive. I offered the wisdom that opens your eyes, but it has been forgotten and cursed.”
Lucifer’s body began to dissolve, drifting up into the air like ashes. All around me, a low, powerful current blew, a tornado that spiraled high up into the clouds. Like some sort of Cheshire Cat, his smooth voice continued to echo all around me, even as the form of Lucifer disappeared.
“And yet, you have not the wisdom. For that, like all the others who enter the Bardo, you must suffer, everything you’ve done. Every small hurt and agony inflicted on others comes back a thousand-fold in this place, but don’t be afraid.”
“How could I not be afraid?!” I screamed into the ward, but I found myself alone, the question hanging unanswered in the air.
***
The lights continued to flicker all down the hallway. Feeling strange and dissociated, I stumbled over to one of the windows. As I gazed out, I beheld a strange and alien world.
The sky was flat and gray. It stayed in constant motion, swirling and spiraling, like clouds of roiling smoke. There was no Sun or Moon, no stars, only the strange, shifting whorls of clouds. The streets were filled with burned-out husks of cars and mummified bodies hung from streetlamps. Other signs of carnage and bloodshed covered the apocalyptic streets. I saw what looked like shadows in the shape of people slinking through over the sidewalks, past rotting dogs and streaks of clotted blood. They had no features on their blank, dark bodies. They seemed to skitter and jerk forwards in eerie, twisting motions.
Horrified, I turned away, realizing I was no longer alone in the day room. In the day room, there were dozens of tables set up inside a rectangular perimeter that was walled in by cosmetic walls only four feet high. It was where the patients sat and played games or ate.
Under the flickering lights, I now saw each of the chairs filled with faceless mannequins. Many were dressed in Victorian suits and tophats. The women had frilly dresses of pink and blue that might have been fashionable in the 1800s.
As the lights strobed on and off overhead, I realized with an increasing sense of disquiet that the mannequins were moving each time it went dark. When I had first seen them, they were mostly posed to look like they were staring across the tables at each other, even though they had no eyes, just smooth, flesh-colored plastic. Now all of them were looking directly at me. Some were pointing or raising their hands in my direction. At the tips of their fingers, I saw the glittering of steel. The lights continued to flicker, and the mannequins rose from their chairs in the short periods of darkness, moving towards me in synchronized, strobing motions.
Frantically, I ran down the hallway back towards the broken window. In each of the rooms, I caught glimpses of something from a nightmare peeking out. I hadn’t been sleeping well lately, and when I had closed my eyes, I often saw ancient hags with chalk-white skin and yellowed, broken teeth whose jaws unhinged, their faces jerking in stuttering, dissonant ways that reminded me of the mannequins. Now, on both sides of me, I saw these same figures. They moved continuously out of the rooms, drawing closer with every breath.
I looked back, seeing the mannequins only a few steps behind me. I continued sprinting towards the broken window where the hallway ended in a wall. I didn’t know what would happen when I reached it. At that moment, there was no rational thought. I felt like a deer being chased down by a pack of wolves, feeling waves of blind panic and mortal terror rushing through my body.
But as I reached the end of the hallway, the end of my rope as it were, a blast of noise started, seeming to come from the walls of the building and the sky itself. It sounded like a siren, a low, drawn-out drone of a demonic whale call, rising and falling in crashing crescendos. The mannequins froze in place once again. The strange, witch-like creatures slunk back into the dark rooms.
I looked outside the broken window, seeing clouds of black smoke rising off in the distance. The flickering of massive infernos scorched the land, drawing nearer by the second. The siren sound faded slowly, like the dying echoes of a gong.
I was surrounded by dozens of mannequins. Their sharp hands were inches away from my face and neck. I saw metal glittering all around me and realized they had the sharp points of nails protruding from the ends of their fingers. I was afraid to move, but I heard a familiar voice from down the hallway. It was the confident voice of Lucifer.
“The siren means much worse nightmares than these are coming in the Bardo,” he said, his glossy, black eyes flashing with intelligence. He walked slowly towards me, his face grim and pale. “Hell itself is coming over the land. This building is no more than a construction of your dying mind, but the world outside is real.”
“How can Hell come and go?” I asked, confused. “Isn’t Hell a place?”
“Hell is a monster, a beast with many mouths and many eyes,” Lucifer responded. “It eats constantly, but its hunger never ends. Look, the first of the sacrifices scatter like cockroaches.” He pointed out the broken window, pushing his way through the mannequins effortlessly. I glanced outside, seeing thousands of people sprinting down the dark city streets. The inferno and thick clouds of smoke had moved much closer, and every few seconds, the ground shook slightly, as if we were experiencing the aftershocks of an earthquake.
“What can I do against such a beast?” I asked, my heart freezing with terror. But when I looked back over, I saw his form dissolving again, becoming translucent and drifting away like ashes. It seemed even Lucifer didn’t want to be present when the Hell-beast arrived.
“Seek divine wisdom,” he said, his voice trailing off into whispers. “Remember the source.”
***
Now crowds of tens of thousands of people were streaming into the city, filling every single inch of the streets. Their panic and fear was contagious. I felt it rising inside my body like a snake spiraling up my spine. I took off down the hallway, running through the swarm of frozen mannequins, each in their own ferocious position of attack. The lights flickered faster and went out. Yet the fires outside cast the entire world in a bloody glow, giving me enough light to see by and find my way. I sprinted down the stairwell, taking them two steps at a time. The screaming outside grew louder and more pain-filled. The shaking of the ground worsened with every passing second.
I burst out of the front entrance, seeing a world on fire all around me. Thousands of crushed, bleeding and burned bodies stretched out as far as the eye could see. Behind all this chaos and death, I saw a monster of unimaginable proportions slinking its way towards me.
Lucifer was right, I realized: Hell was not a place, but a creature, an enormous monster the size of a town. It had thousands of skittering, jointed legs that looked like little more than skeletal arms and hands, each of them dozens of feet long and white as freshly-cut marble. Its body stretched out to the horizon, an enormous blood-red cylinder of bony plates that slithered and undulated with a serpentine grace. Waves of peristalsis traveled down its length, like writhing intestines. Thousands of curving, bony spikes stabbed out of it, pointing in every direction. Like the quills of a porcupine, it would protect the massive creature’s body from many forms of attack, if anything was big enough to attack such an abomination.
Hell’s massive eyes flickered, balls of fire that spun and danced. They looked as bright as the Sun. Something like solar flares seemed to emanate from the orbs, flashes of blinding energy that floated over the apocalyptic wasteland. As its many legs smashed the ground, they left trails of fire that caused everything to explode into flames as if napalm dripped from its limbs.
But Hell’s most terrifying feature was its seven dark mouths. Its body looked a thousand feet wide, and the mouths at the front were evenly dispersed. At the front, blood-red teeth in the shape of enormous railroad spikes shone. Its lipless, skeletal face grinned as it moved forward, shaking the ground with every step. The mouths were on long, snake-like necks that could stretch out hundreds of feet. They moved forward in a blur, snapping up as many panicked souls as they could.
Countless souls in the rocky plains of the Bardo ran for their lives, away from this juggernaut. I saw men and women who looked like they came from every country and profession, some dressed in suits or spotless white lab coats, others wearing rags or orange prison jumpsuits. And yet, they all screamed in agony and fear here, their bodies pressed together in a crowd, and no one seemed to remember anything but their own mortal terror. Their voices came out faint and weak next to the roaring of Hell. It shook the ground all around us, as if an earthquake were tearing the land apart.
The first frantic runners of the surging crowd had nearly reached me. The nearest person, a young woman in her mid-twenties dressed in all white, was only ten feet behind me. She looked like she came from wealth, and even from here, I could see a ring with a massive diamond gleaming on her finger.
I took off blindly down the familiar streets of the city where I worked and lived, but these also seemed different. The church down the street from the hospital where I worked had a Satanic pentagram instead of a cross now, its exterior painted a bright, gleaming blood-red. When I had driven past it today on my way to work, I remember it read, “JESUS said, ‘I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.’”
Now it read, “Nietzsche said, ‘Of all evil, I deem you capable. I have often laughed at the weaklings who thought themselves good simply because they had no claws.’” I wondered what that meant. Was that some sort of comment on me, on all of us here?
The woman I had seen running had caught up with me. She was fast, much faster than her slim body suggested. Her blue eyes were frantic and wild, filled with an animal panic.
“It’s right behind us!” she screamed, her face covered in a sheen of sweat. I was afraid to turn and look, but I could hear the chaos and bloodshed approaching, smell the flames and choking smoke. “Run! Get away!”
A new wave of energy surged through my body. I sprinted as fast I could down the strange mirror streets of the Bardo. I heard the agonized cries of countless souls behind us as the seven mouths of Hell ate them all greedily and then looked for more.
A skyscraper behind us collapsed into a pile of rubble, shaking the ground with a cacophony of falling concrete and shattering glass. The woman was running by my side. Just as I heard the breathing of something huge and predatory right behind us and smelled its sulfuric breath, a piece of concrete the size of a basketball broke off the collapsing skyscraper and flew into the road. I tripped over it, yelling as I flew through the air, skinning my arms and legs on the pavement. The woman’s eyes widened. Hurriedly, she came over and reached down her hand, trying to help me up.
“Come on, come on!” she cried. I looked behind her, seeing one of the gnashing mouths of Hell reaching forward on a blood-red, serpentine neck. The mouth was big enough to drive a tractor trailer into, filled with huge spikes of teeth. Its throat led into a black, smoke-filled abyss. Its fiery eyes were swirling pools of flickering orange light that shone with bloodlust and insanity. They focused on the woman, the entire head turning on its slithering neck.
I frantically raised my hand, intertwining my fingers with hers. Her hand was warm and soft. She started to pull me to my feet when the mouth of Hell snapped forward. Its jaw unhinged, scraping the pavement with a sound like grinding metal. The woman barely had time to turn as the mouth covered her and snapped shut with a crack.
She disappeared from view instantly, but I was still holding her hand. In horror, I felt warm rivers of blood explode all over my body as the mouth of Hell severed her arm at the wrist. She screamed, bleeding and crying, as she disappeared into the throat of Hell. Hell’s fiery eyes focused on me, and at that moment, I knew I was next. Its mouth opened wide again, like a bear trap ready to spring on a new victim.
It was dark in Hell’s mouth, but I smelled the thick reek of old blood and fire. I caught glimpses of tortured, mutilated bodies writhing and crawling down its throat. Shell-shocked, I could only lay there and watch. And that was when the strange doubling started.
***
I heard the frantic voices of men break through the fog of darkness and the fetid reek of blood. There was a mechanical beeping all around me, but I couldn’t tell where it was coming from.
“Clear!” one cried. I looked around, only seeing blackness. At that moment, I felt a surge of electricity rip itself through my body. My arms and legs all seized and my eyes rolled up in my head as the pain sizzled through each one of my nerves. I clutched the young woman’s hand tightly, feeling the large, gold ring with the massive diamond biting into my skin.
“Again!” another voice yelled.
“Clear!” the original voice cried. The electricity came again, and a flash of white light flew across my vision. I blinked, seeing from two sets of eyes at the same time: one in the Bardo, and one on the blood-stained floor of the hospital ward.
The Bardo stayed dark and sinister, but the clear white lights of the real psychiatric ward were blinding. It was a bizarre experience. Moreover, everything hurt. Over a few seconds, my vision of the Bardo faded, and I was simply a gravely injured man laying on the floor in a puddle of blood.
Four doctors and paramedics were crouching over me with a defibrillator. My shirt was ripped off, and nearly all of my skin was covered in blood. I raised my left hand, trying to talk, but only a fiery pain raced through my neck. I felt bandages covering my skin. A nurse was rolling a stretcher down the hallway towards me.
“It’s OK,” one of the doctors said, kneeling down. “You’re being taken to emergency surgery. You’ve lost a lot of blood.” I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t talk with the massive slice in my neck.
At that moment, I felt something in my right hand. I looked down, seeing a slim female hand with a massive diamond ring hanging there. Our fingers were wrapped around each other’s, but the hand had been cut off at the wrist. A ragged patch of bloody flesh and snapped bone poked out of the back.
“Nnnn,” I tried to say, shaking my head. I felt fresh streams of warm blood open up. “No…” The doctors looked down, seeing the dismembered hand. Their faces morphed into expressions of confusion and fear.
I closed my eyes as they lifted me up on the stretcher. One of them gently removed the cold hand from my fingers. But they could never remove the memory of what I had seen.
I know what happens after death, and it makes the worst life here seem like a dream. I know that, one day, I’ll be returned to that place. I know that, one day, I’ll see that great monster called Hell and the featureless, swirling sky of the Bardo again.
And the next time, I won’t wake up on a hospital floor, but will be trapped there with the others for eternity: an eternity of blood and fire.

I posted previously about getting new ballet slippers that would reduce bunching and improve my arch appearance, etc. the latest batch of my usual So Danca slippers disappointed me.
So I had a look and came across the Bloch Elastosplit X model. Looked odd, and I love odd!
Here’s a first review. They arrive today and I have not tried them in class yet; I’m currently wearing them while sat with slipper socks over the top to keep them clean. My feet swell a lot and I wanted to see how they might change after a little bit of wearing in.
Here’s the main takeaways from the past hour I’ve had them out the box.

• The fit is definitely odd! I admittedly have “chubby feet” so all shoes look a bit pudgy on me, and at first they seemed extra squished across my metatarsals, but an extra little wiggle and my toes fit really nice and snug into the toe of the shoe and the tightness went away. So a bit strange to put on!
• The presewn elastic, as useful as it is, is also stitched in the center where they cross. Again, interesting, made it fiddly to get my foot in, but when in the right place it’s comfortable. I may unpick where it’s stitched in the middle to give the elastic more wiggle room though; as I say, I have a bit of “chub” and it currently looks a bit awkward haha.
• Suede pads are positioned pretty nicely at the toe of the shoe, the back one feels odd though because it’s more towards the center of the foot. Not a big deal, just feels unusual. Tried a few turns and they don’t feel impeded at all! I’m actually surprised because in my So Danca shoes, the toe pad being closer to the tip of the shoe actually worked better for me for some reason. Here, my toes are actually on the floor, but they don’t give me any “drag” when I turn. (I don’t know how to explain it haha)
• No super-horrible bunching at the toe, but still not wholly flattering. Having one foot that’s more tapered, I expect to see more bunching on my right anyway, but I specifically wanted something that wouldn’t… you know… look like a plastic bag on my toes? Looks ok on my left foot though!
• Even at the correct measured width they are tight (I guess to help keep them on, seeing as they’re essentially half a shoe). If I had gone for a size 6 rather than 5.5, they would be waaay too long. But these are a C width, so perhaps I need D width. MoveDancewear only seem to do the C width version.
• Much comfier in tights. Not sure I’d wear them without until they’ve softened a little. Not particularly comfy on flat foot, but VERY COMFY on demi. My toes can spread comfortably inside.
• There’s a lining inside along the insole, which is bulky under the center of my foot where the shoe “splits”. I could remove a bit of this to prevent the edge of the shoe digging into my skin so much, but I expect they will soften over time.
• BAGGY HEELS. Baggy. Heels. The heel cup of this shoe is not flattering if your heels disappear when your foot is pointed. There’s a little pouty pouch right on my heel and it’s annoying to look at. Unfortunately sizing down in this shoe wouldn’t solve the problem for me, but might work for someone with a narrower foot?
• The back is also quite high, so it digs into the ankle more. If I had the confidence I’d cut the heel.
• Nice colour! Not quite tan, not super pink, and not that washed out yellowish shade either. I like the colour a lot, and it looks nice with my tights.

Overall, and interesting pair of slippers. I’m wearing them with socks over the top in case I decide to send them back, but I’m deliberating on them before I head to class later. They aren’t cheap, and I need something comfy and long lasting. Much to think about.
Thanks for reading! I may update if I keep them and wear them in 🙂

For context I've used H pattern shifters in sims since the very first commercially available Act-Labs shifter in the early 2000s, the different Logitech G series offerings, the Thrustmaster TH8A, and for the last 5 years I've been using the Frex GP.
I have not owned but have used the Pro-Sim shifter at a local sim shop so I can draw comparisons to this unit as well.
Of the above mentioned if I had my choice budget not being in question I would certainly go for the Pro-Sim, it simply had the most satisfying two stage feel to the gear engagement (getting into neutral and then getting into gear) however, at over 3x the price of the Frex I just felt like it didn’t offer enough to justify the move. Frex also simulates the two stage feel through detents on the shaft that gets acted on by a spring ball plunger, however with the Pro-Sim this feeling is much more pronounced. I kept going back to the shop over the last few years picking up the odd piece of equipment and giving the Pro-Sim a row each time but at the end of the day I figured I'd hold out for something "active".
On the subject of "Well does it feel like getting into gear in a real car", having driven dozens of cars I don't recall any two that feel the same. The feeling has been anything from G25 like spongy and sloppy in a 2007 Accord, to a very mechanical sharp and direct feel of a Mk4 Golf, to everything else in between. I have never driven anything race prepped that is H pattern equipped but I've rowed through some gears at an auto show in a stock car and a touring car and these felt closer to what the Pro-Sim feels like vs road cars.
Naturally the next thing in the evolution of the shifter was some kind of feedback, something to take the simulation further and prevent getting into gear if you aren't doing the correct things. Frex did this a long time ago but ultimately it wasn’t realistic as it was a mechanical solution, you have to press the clutch to shift gear and in real life both synchromesh and dog boxes allow for shifting clutches with correct technique.
On to the Bash Pro.
Construction is solid and the unit is heavy. The only nonmetal bits are what I'd call the dust guard, buttons and electronics housing frame components that are not stressed in any way. I wish the dust guard bit was polished in some way so you do not see the obvious 3d printer markings, same can be said for the other 3d printed bits, but hey if this shaved off some decent dollars from construction cost than why not. I've read a lot of "at this cost and 3d printed bits" and quite frankly I don't get the comments, the cost is actually "fair" considering the price of the competition.
Aesthetically its nothing to look at and if it were up to me I'd do away with the carbon fiber box for electronics and just make it all metal. I swapped the original 6+R knob for the black/carbon Frex knob and I think it looks miles better. It’s just a box that is pure function and I will take the footprint of this unit over the very cool looking competition any day. It does come with a mounting plate and easily screws into a piece of 40xXX profile. In my case it screwed into the Advanced Sim Racing shifter plate. The software controlling the unit is a plugin for SimHub.
How does it feel?
It has the gear engagement feel of the Pro-Sim at a 3rd of the size. There is a two stage feel to shifting gears but even more so due to the programable delay and the blocking gate mechanism. For delay we are talking about milliseconds, but it really makes for a great, into neutral and then into gear feel. There is a very strong and pronounced feel in taking it out of gear, into neutral, and then into gear again. The throw is heavy, but I don’t think its adjustable, this might be an issue for some, I’ll gladly leave it as is as I prefer heavy controls all around. In H sync mode you can control the delays between each gears, for example 1-2, 3-4, 4-5, 5-6 can all have different delay timing set, or just remove delay all together. The unit is loud just like its pears.
The parts of the shaft which slide into the gates/gears have spinning bearings attached, the gates themselves are very thick as is the lockout gate which are all rounded off. The bearings fit perfectly into the slots which results in absolutely no play/slop when in gear and in a very smooth action when sliding in and out of the gates. In neutral position the lever just returns to middle position without bouncing around like the Frex would. The staged feel is achieved by the gate returning to the lockout position as soon as you pop into neutral and then muscle your way through the now "allowed to move away" lockout gate and into gear.
Price wise, this shifter comes in cheaper than the BDH and way cheaper than the Pro-Sim, making it a no brainer for me. There is nothing those shifters offer over the Bash Pro at this stage, hopefully the unit proves to be reliable. I do not like to talk about price/value as it’s really about what you want/need and willing to spend on something and from watches to cars, it starts at next to nothing to won’t afford it in a lifetime. But in this case, I must say it is good value if you compare it to the high-end competition. This is an innovative product, first of its kind, and its clocking in at a significant discount over the competition. This stands in stark contrast to the Simucube Active pedal, which is a first of its kind, and is an end-game product, however, the cost of this offering reflects it. With the Bash Pro you got something similar, something moving the hobby to the next level and its cheaper than its “passive” neighbours.
As I type this up, Pro-Sim is working on an addon for their H and sequential boxes that will also block out gears when not doing this correctly, and this is great news for existing Pro-Sim owners. This unit will also work off of SimHub, will be curious to see what kind of options it will have.

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Hey there,

Are you an ambitious entrepreneur watching your competitors climb the digital marketing ladder while you feel stuck at the bottom?
Maybe your website traffic is stagnant, your social media engagement is crickets, or your sales just aren't converting like they should. That's where I come in.
I'm Rohan Pangotra, a strategic digital marketer, consultant, and copywriter with over a year of experience honed at Australia's No. 1 SMMA Growth Scale. I understand the struggles you face because I've been there.
But here's the thing: digital marketing isn't a one-size-fits-all game. Just like Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, your marketing strategy needs to address your specific needs at each level of the pyramid.
Here's how I can help you achieve digital marketing mastery:

• Safety & Security: Worried about wasting time or money on ineffective strategies? I'll conduct a thorough audit to identify your weak spots and build a data-driven plan for success.
• Love & Belonging: Feeling disconnected from your audience? I'll craft compelling content and social media strategies to build brand loyalty and foster a thriving online community. ❤️
• Esteem: Want to establish yourself as an industry authority? I'll develop targeted campaigns that showcase your expertise and increase brand awareness.
• Self-Actualization: Ready to take your business to the next level? I'll partner with you to create a scalable digital marketing strategy that fuels sustainable growth.

By working with me, you'll gain:

• A clear roadmap to achieving your digital marketing goals.
• Engaging content that resonates with your target audience.
• Measurable results that translate to increased sales and brand recognition.
• A strategic partner who understands your business and its unique needs.

If you're ready to stop feeling stuck and start climbing the digital marketing mountain, let's chat! I offer free consultations to discuss your specific requirements and how I can help you reach new heights.
P.S. Maslow wasn't lying – a fulfilled digital marketing strategy is the key to unlocking your business's full potential.
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Fighting/Normal: OHKO (One Punch Man but instead of one effortless punch it’s a touch of death combo he has to )
Species: Mugen
Planet: Sonof
Appearance

• Humanoid blank white body
• Thick Smooth/Blocky appearance (like made of pillows)
• Headband and Gi are common wares

Powers and Abilities

• Enhanced Strength
• Unlimited Stamina
• Extremely High Pain Tolerance
• Semi-Mechanical Nature does not need to eat, sleep, or breathe
  • Unaging
• Slight combat prowess
• Slightly stuns the opponent on contact with physical force (specifically after a physical hit. Applies to non living beings as well)
• Once an attack lands, it’ll receive enough energy to continue physically attacking it in a never-ending combo. Dealing blows significantly faster, gaining strength with each hit and eventually able to deal noticeable damage to almost any target with each hit.

Weaknesses/Drawback

• Slow movement
• Limited Fighting Capabilities
• Attacks are usually short
  • Can extend reach but takes notable time so it needs to make an effort to land combo
• Combo can be interrupted, loses momentum and needs to land another hit when it does.

Species/Planet Fact: The Mugen started as semi-organic creations by a long dead civilization who sought to try experiments designing different types of warriors. Eventually the planet will be inhabited by foreign researchers. These researchers have been working on enhancing them with various effects to increase their capabilities, and give them more movement and combat options. But during testing it was discovered that watching the Mugen fight with or without enhancements is incredibly entertaining resulting and a strong source of combat study. This discovery redirected their experiments being used for sports instead of warfare even preventing what would’ve been an interplanetary war by turning it into a competitive sport, exploding the planet in popularity. During this explosion there was the discovery of a single fight between two Mugen that have went on for centuries before the first immigration and has been fiercely protected from interruptions since its discovery.
Fighting/Grass: Doungwun Nemetrix predator of the Chunwin (See Kung book in Grass Types)
Appearance

• Green Body
• Mantis like Body
• 2 Pairs of claws with sharp fanged ends, each with a long membrane hanging off of them.
• Multiple pair of locust-like wings under where abdomen should be.
• Reptilian head
• Pupilless Eyes

Hunting Method

• Flight
• High reflexes
• Claws able to capture and break of Chunwin limbs, and attach to body of prey.
• Membranes absorb attack from Chunwin
• Long retractible tongue able to launch with precision and strength, able to pierce the body and grasp onto vital organs.

Planet/Species Fact: Despite the Doungwun seemingly biologically engineered to beat Cunwin on one to one combat, countering their various techniques. They rather take less ‘honorable’ tactics whenever possible. In populated areas they’d quickly overwhelm their prey with high numbers and quickly attack before the Chunwin gets a chance to swing. If there are aren’t any others nearby it’ll try to ambush its prey from hard to reach angles in the air. Only when it’s alone and has caught the attention of its prey, will it attach itself and engage its prey in close range combat. Most Chunwin societies simply use traps, or other tools to protect themselves from these predators. But a predator that chooses to engage in a one on one duel is more respected and results in a more respected death (for either one). So some Chunwin warriors leave themselves open to solo Doungwun attacks as some form of test.
Fighting/Fire: Racaln the Nemetrix predator of the Clabestro (See Firing Squad in Fire types)
Appearance

• Large translucent viscous puddle with various organs inside, including left overs from prey
  • A lot of mouths and eyes
  • Able to reconfigure organs inside body
• Able to raise body in multiple large bumps of various sizes, which usually containing organs

Hunting Method

• Raises body with jaw to consume prey on its body
• Full sensory of targets on its liquid body
• Viscous body can regenerate (and even split into multiple organisms)
• Prey stable on body is inflicted with Hallucinogenic and Auditory illusions, to make them unable to see and hear others allowing the Racaln to strike admit this confusion
  • Also able to block telepathic and electronic communication
• Able to use the natural weapons of digested prey (ie the guns of the Clabestro)

Planet/Species Fact: Racaln only prey on the Clabestro when they’re split up and small. They don’t do any harm when they’re merged on one bigger body. But since most Clabestro combat (which happens very often) has them in their small split up forms. This makes it common for Racalns to be collected from the wild or bred in captivity to be utilized as excellent traps, and denying area. This practice would also be used as a mark to safeguard places from violence, to prevent Clabestro from splitting to engage in combat. This practice has spread to official gatherings like courts and diplomatic meetings.
Fighting/Water: Ultimate Slush (See Original in Water Types)
Appearance

• Dark Green Body
• Loses gourd
• Various sharp attachments that have the appearance of the sharp bottlenecks of broken bottle
• Core with an unbalanced changing color in head

Powers/Ability

• Retain expert flexibility
• More aggressive fighting style (while retaining it’s drunken boxer like moves)
• Fire Projection
• Can’t feel pain
• Core hypnotizes targets on sight, intoxicating them
• Able to use sharp accessories

Weaknesses/Drawbacks:

• More Violent personality
• Can’t spill out body to trip opponents
• Loses Elasticity

Fighting/Elctric: Ultimate Fightning Rod (See Web Work in Electric Types)
Appearance

• Long thin build made of lightning
• Normally invisible

Powers/Ability

• Invisibility
• Intangibility
• Invincibility
• Whenever an Influx of energy (Any kind) in an area appears:
  • Able to instantly teleport to any place where the energy is dispersed
  • Doing so attacking the target with massive strength directly proportional to energy
  • Once energy subsides or moves outside of energy influx, body becomes invisible/intangible again
• When visible, can absorb all kinds of energy
• Able to unleash a large burst of both sound and light with absorbed energy

Weaknesses/Drawbacks:

• Unable to extend body parts
• Can only deal damage in large bursts of energy
• Is no longer invincible when exposed a large energy influx in a prolonged duration

Fighting/Flying: Ultimate Fight and Flight (See original in Flying Types)
Appearance

• Black/Brown coloring scheme
• Face is more crow like
• Tails are longer
• Hawk-like eyes and wings
• Larger body

Powers/Ability

• Stronger
• Faster
• Enhanced Senses
  • Slight Danger Senses
• Hypnotic Stare
  • Invokes Intimidation into targets provoking them into either fighting or running
  • When staring at foes, they’re able to read gains seconds precognition into multiple visions whether they fight or fly and combinations of timelines when they do both. Visions show what they would do, but is able to be altered with the newfound knowledge in real time.
  • Precognition can predict unknown interferences like hidden dangers
  • Heightened intelligence and brain processing speed to plan out effective strategy to hunt or combat their attempts

Weaknesses/Drawbacks:

• Unable to split self into two forms
• Using hypnotic stare on multiple targets can overwhelm self
• Predicted precognitive visions can be avoided if target resists hypnosis making them prep for things that won’t happen

Fighting/Ice: Giengar Nemetrix predator of the Ashe (See Burrzerker in Ice Types)
Appearance

• Skeletally thin limbs
• Very lanky frame (usually hunched over)
• Large Wooly body
• Long clawed fingers
• Sharp Teeth

Hunting Method

• Immunity to cold
• Silent movement
• Inflicts hallucinations on target nearby especially Ashe
  • Inflicts shadowy hallucination of a competitive animal (usually the same as the affected prey) causing the target to continuously attack hallucination.
  • Target eventually tires out attacking hallucination, losing adrenaline and succumbing to hypothermia or exhaustion.

Planet/Species Fact: Giengar are omnivores. In cold seasons they eat large predators with their primarily skill of inducing hallucinations that tire out its target before having its body frozen over for it to consume with its teeth designed to crush frozen objects. They gain this power by consuming mushrooms from warmer, jungle biomes that contain spores which has a similar effect to targets that breathe them in (though less concentrated and ends with less fatalities). Giengars are immune to these spores so during the warmer seasons they migrate to the jungle to consume high amounts of these mushrooms to expel their spores in large concentrations during hunting season. Normal Ashe that occupy these jungles stay away from the dangerous arctic biomes the Giengars hunt in, so to them the Giengar are seen as harmless. Since even if the Giengars try to use the spores against them, the conditions aren’t lethal and the lack of the Ashe’s adrenaline won’t inhibit their ability to recognize their condition and react accordingly instead of wasting their energy fighting.
Fighting/Ground: Ultimate Mudripper (See Original in Ground Types)
Appearance

• Diamond Skin
• Loses eyes
• Elongated Snout
• Six pairs of short legs
• Clawed Hands
• Glass Hairs
• Loses Tail

Powers/Ability

• Enhanced Smelling Senses
• Heatproof
• Durable and ough Diamond Skin
• Sharp Claws
• High Speed Burrowing
• Thermo-adaptation
• Able to resurface lava and create lava motes/small volcanos on ground from underneath
• Drooling Lava Saliva
• Able to walk on surfaces
• Vacuum Adaptation

Weaknesses/Drawbacks:

• Loss of Eyesight
• Can’t Jump
• Unable to grab object with claws as well as base form hands
• Can’t Swim

Fighting/Rock: Ovivine Nemetrix predator of the Sabter (See Mountain Goat in Fighting Types)
Appearance

• Sheep-based body
• Green Wool
• Flowers growing on body

Hunting Method

• Wool is able to absorb strong impacts
• Vine-like tendrils on side of body able to connect to cliffsides
• Able to camouflage selves into a grass pile
• Grows a disconnected field perpendicular to the cliffside making it look its prey is on the ground
  • Field camouflaged to be unable to be seen from below
• Able to communicate with Sabter to trick it on standing on the field, of the cliff before falling to their deaths.

Planet/Species Fact: While Ovivine can talk and mimic sentient emotions its only purpose is to gain the trust of prey as a mere predatory mechanism, their brains aren’t capable of deeper introspective thought or sentience when alone. Sabter are worn of the Ovivine though largely they are seen as myth with how very few sightings they are and how little the Ovivine are actually active due to their slow metabolism. Ovivines cover their prey on the floor and slowly consume it whilst morphing its body to appear as a mere lump of ground covered in grass, which is another factor into how little they’re seen. Occasionally they encounter some Sabter who are very much aware of them, and their tricks so in those cases they simply push them off the cliff side. Though this method relies on the element of surprise since their physical strength is much weaker than the average Sayter.
Fighting/Bug: Ultimate Float Stinger (See Original in Bug Types)
Appearance

• Slightly bigger body
• Longer wasp like structure
• New Vertical striped black and white body

Powers/Ability

• Able to summon a near indestructible hive shaped structure
  • This pocket dimension draws in 2 individuals (which can include the creator) into an arena pocket dimension.
  • Telepathic communication with all individuals in pocket dimensions
  • Individuals in the pocket dimension must follow certain reality altering conditions to set a “fair fight”
    • This usually includes removal of “powers” but can also vary to have no removal or even the addition of powers
    • Fight doesn’t have to be direct combat and more of a much as a sport
    • Individual size are usually scaled to be relatively similar
  • Individuals leaves once one or both is considered ‘defeated’ or by the creator’s permission

Weaknesses/Drawbacks:

• Rules set in arena must be made to be fair for both individuals
• No longer able to project honey to prevent powers
• Slightly slower and weaker outside of hives
• Reality altering rules only affect targets inside a hive

Fighting/Psychic: Muscle Memory (Alien Taskmaster)
Species: Reffox
Planet: Arbeitar
Appearance

• Tall Humanoid muscular appearance
• Body looks skinless and made of muscles
• Egg-shapd head and single eye

Powers and Abilities

• Enhanced Atleticism
• High combat p rowess
• Able to slowly build up strength and speed
• Photographic reflexes
• When looking at any moving target, able to quickly learn, memorize, and mimic that targets moves allowing them to be able to come up with a counter for it.
  • Also applies to their use of tools

Weaknesses

• Can only memorize and mimic movements not powers
• Can only enhance strength and speed in short bursts
• May be at risks for learning ineffective techniques

Planet/Species Fact: Due to the fact that all Reffox are all physically the same and that any unique skill that are developed is quickly assimilated by one another. Reffox populations share a yearning for a sense of identity. So many Reffox head off to other cultures/planets to use their learned skills to be able to make an identity of themselves, whether it be an athlete a performer, a warrior, a hero, or in some cases a criminal or ruler. This feeling is felt through all Reffox and when two of them meet, they silently agree to not show their skills to each other to keep their identity. Though if they do want to share they return to Arbeitar to tell their stories or inspire new skills for the next generation who would tell their story.
Fighting/Poison: Biolence (Fist of the North Star Powered by drugs, and can weaponize their own explosions )
Species: Gomane Planet: Omawoshindyu
Appearance

• Rough Green Skin
• Orc Like Head
• Muscular Build
• Costume comes with a mouth-covering mask
• Large Hands

Powers and Abilities

• Enhanced Strength
• Strength and size are gradually enhances from absorbing normally hazardous or even just unhealthy substances
• Body is slowly producing its own internal toxins
• Noxious Stench
• Poisons eventually build up into large cysts on skin that eventually bursts into powerful noxious and slightly toxic gas expulsion when ‘popped’, able to do damage from force
  • Able to control cyst development early
  • Cysts become more powerful with more hazardous substances given
  • Able to transfer poisonous cyst development onto others from force of contact, usually other species skin is not built to handle the expulsion causing damage when they pop

Weaknesses

• When exposed to hazard substances, the Cysts become faster developed and harder to control possibly hindering the body
• Loses strength build after cyst has popped
• Mind can be altered to be more violent depending on hazardous substances consumed, commonly manifests in an addiction or violent temperament (usually removed when expelled)

Planet/Species Fact: Eons ago a large vapor of toxic alien pollutants was mysterious dropped on Omawoshindyu mutating all inhabitants and killing off massive amounts of life, however life stiff have adapted and eventually evolved resulting in the modern Gomanes. By the time their own society has formed, the pollutants have been absorbed into the earth or dissipated from the atmosphere allowing fertile greener life to grow. Ironically most of Gomane society promotes healthy activity like proper diet in exercise, for it allows them to control their cyst development more effectively even when there sped up, which they use in hunting and combat sports. However crime activity is still noticeable involving addiction, violence, and gang activity. Mostly originating in highly polluted/deserted wastelands. As various poisons are being produced and mines
Fighting/Ghost: Body-structor (Havik from MK1 with hints of Water Law from One Piece)
Species: Rankensain
Planet: Taxodoom
Appearance

• Tone “Action Figure like structure”
• Smoothed out Joints
• Skeletal head
• Sharp Claws
• Retractable Spikes on limbs
• Leathery skin
• Large tail

Powers and Abilities

• Enhanced Strength and Stamina
• Combat Prowess
• Immortality
• Quick Cellular Regeneration
• Able to detach own limbs/body parts and effectively control them when attached.
• Able to grow a detached body part on the detached body
• Able to detach others limbs/body parts of target on contact
  • Able to attach body parts detached this way to self
  • Body parts detached this way can still be controlled and are controlled by the head/brain they are attached to (all head/brain are in control of themselves). If their original head/brain is detached they can still be controlled by that head/brain unless it’s on attached to another of the same body part in which case they can’t move.
    • With the exception of Rankensains who can control their own body parts even while their heads are on a different body.
  • Different body parts can be reattached to other bodies detached this way, even in places the body parts don’t go
  • Specifically in the Omnitrix after retransformation original rankensain body parts will dematerialize and all new attached body parts from detached bodies will fall off.

Weaknesses:

• Slightly slow
• Detachment requires strong force of contact
• Targets dispatched bodies can reattach their own parts, and can’t take them off again when put back into place (Can only be detached again by a Rankensain)
• Body parts attached to wrong part of body can be dispatched by anything even by accident
• Targets can disconnect different a body part that wasn’t originally there’s
• After regrowing a body part that was already attached, the original detached body part will lose its structure and melt
• Will die if all body parts are destroyed too fast
• Only their own body parts can detach other limbs

Planet/Species Fact: Body parts are the Rankensains main currency. While most body parts are gathered from hunted animals on their world. Rankenstains have developed interplanetary transportation to gather valuable alien body parts. Often by nefarious methods like warfare, grave robbing, or even homicide, making them a disdained and feared species across multiple planets. There are labs made to create clones of existing limbs to replace active hunting to remove the need for travel, but with how often exploration is used and how slow the cloning process is, Rankensains still commonly hunt aliens for their limbs as part of a darker slightly underground culture. To get around their negative reputation, Rankensains would remove their own brains and implant them into other bodies to disguise themselves.
Fighting/Dragon: Medisnake (Combat Snake with Street Fighter Chi abilities)
Species: Ansatryu
Planet: Chakrenin
Appearance:

• Long Reptilian Body built similarly to a Skink
• Dragonoid Scales
• Small Limbs
• Bipedal

Powers/Abilities:

• Enhanced Combat Prowess
• Slithering
• Easily able to enter a meditative state for enhanced self-control, psychological/emotional balance, mental clarity, and even healing
  • Able to access pressure points that puts allies in a similar state
• Natural chi-like energy and mastery
  • Energy skills normally manifest as enhanced athletic skills and energy projection at a basic level
  • Energy can be personalized into a different element or even power

Weaknesses

• Personalization initially requires a level of training that the Omnitrix transformation doesn’t initially give.

Planet/Species Fact: Initially Ansartyu were seen as pets of another more human-like species called the Shotogun and as intelligent as their owners. However, eventually the Shotogun would discover their ability to tap into their own personal well of the same chi-like energy and start practicing it for various means. However back then only a handful of masters would be able use it, and only at a very basic level. Until one Shotogun prince discovered that his treasured Ansatryu was able to tap into and unlock further levels of mastery. With this knowledge the prince learned from his Ansatryu and developed a closer bond with it, even teaching his pet higher levels of intelligence as he was taught further mastery of chi. Later he would teach others how to learn from their Ansatryu and his own Ansatryu will give intelligence to others of his species, leading to the point where Ansatryu are now partners living in the same world as the Shotogun in relative harmony.
Fighting/Steel: Weapon Blaster (Tank Knight with hand guns that shoots bladed weapons) Species: Arthmo
Planet: Palawar
Appearance

• Tall metal body
• Tank treads for legs
• Knight-Like Helmet
• Short cannons for arms

Powers and Abilities

• Enhanced Durability
• Enhanced Eyesight
• Full rotating body
• Canon arms launch out metal objects commonly melee weapons like swords, spears, axes etc at high speeds
  • Weapons are animated and “preprogrammed to move in ways/fly in a direct path and can be “preprogrammed’
  • Can be locked onto a focused target and rotate/swing in a specific way whilst following the target
• Other different types of weapon shooting
  • Machine Gun type: able to launch out multiple imprecise smaller metal weapons that can’t be animated
  • Sniper: Able to launch a singular fast powerful far reaching weapon
  • Giant: Able to launch one giant weapon a short distance that stays out longer.

Weaknesse

• Drawbacks of each weapon shooting
• Slow Tank like movement
• Can only create simple metal objects
• Weapon projectiles can be moved offcourse
• Weapon projectiles can only stay out a minute before dissipation
• Weapons take time and varying degrees of focus to charge before launch which increases with duration of animation
  • Shooting out a large powerful weapon increases load time, and can’t shoot more weapons while the giant weapon is out

Species/Planet Fact: Arthmo is an artificial species created from a combination of alchemy and engineering by a master at both, commissioned by a great king. They were meant to be used as weapons of warfare and even companions. However an enemy army raided the kingdom, and killed both the lord and creator after the first Arthmo woke up. So the lab was well hidden so the Arthmo followed the instructions of its creator and created more of it, and slaying the enemy army. Now they defend the remaining members of their kingdom to allow it to rebuild. However, rumor has it that a surviving enemy found the original Arthmo lab.
Fighting/Dark: Spotshot
Species: Dalmate
Planet: Cerberence
Appearance

• Dalmatian white and black spotted pattern body
• Monkey like proportions and arms
• Dog like head
• Paws for feet
• Long tail with a forked end

Powers/Abilities:

• Enhanced Athleticism
• Enchanted Acrobatics
• Wall Crawling
• Able to use forked tail and string-like mucus in between split as a slingshot
• Shoots able to launch “spots” from tail
• Dark skin works good for camouflage
• Combat Prowess
  • Spots inflict a strong force on impact
  • Leaves a spot mark on the target, and can potentially blind a living target
  • Projectile spots are able to fly out of marks
  • Able to make spots launch off objects on impact before making mark
  • Hitting mark with multiple projectile creates a bigger mark, and a bigger projectile by extension
  • Able to absorb Dalmate spots on own body

Weaknesses/Drawbacks

• Spots dissipate after minutes
• Unable to projects spots marked on body

Species/Planet Fact: The spotted biological materials that generate the Dalmate’s projectile “spots”, is a shared trait amongst a handful of different Cereberence animal species and even some plant life. Those species has a spot of a different color that was meant harm all other species/subspecie for predation or predator avoidance. Other species that don’t have this projectile ability do have spotted patterns on them to warn predators, or even create similar marks on objects to protect territory by intimidation.To weaponize their own “spots” Dalmate tribes would farm different animals and use them in different methods that changes their spot markings to battle other tribes with their own spot slinging skills to prevent it from being simply absorbed into its targets body.
Fighting/Fairy: Best-O Change-O (Magical Girl/Boy Recruiting Bunny)
Species: Usegin
Planet: Lunakessho
Appearance

• Anthropomorphic Bunny
• Biological Crystal accessories on head
• Natural mask-like fur pattern on head and pupils eyes (males only)
  • Crown like horns on females
• Standard outfit of a Tuxedo-like suit, or School-Girl dress based on gender

Powers/Abilities

• Natural magic potential
• Enhanced leaping
• Enhanced Athleticism
• Costume transmutation
• Able to enhance a small hand held object
  • Transmutes the object into a specialized weapon and usually able to project a specialized material/force/or element (depends on a combination of both the individual and object)
• Able to enhance another object allowing an Ally to gain a similar weapon and the same powers of an Usegin except the ability to enchant other objects.

Weaknesses

• Only able to utilize one weapon at a time
  • Applies to allies, they can only utilize their chosen object
• Takes a while to enchant another object for an ally after the first
• After an allies enchanted objects breaks they lose their gained abilities
  • Ally abilities also go away when the Omnitrix Transformation ends

Planet/Species Fact: Lunakessho is a magical planet where all the inhabitants would practice magic, protected by an order of Usegin knights. However dark forces used by villains and monsters would arise practicing this dark magic and almost threatened to corrupt the universe. The Usegin order managed to fight them off but with a threat on that kind of scale and some remaining presence of their enemies they decided to seal of the planet into another realm. However, now there is an occult group mages summoned the order on various points of different moons using a ritual that was meant to be used in case they’re needed. While the Usegin heroes did manage to get involved in their traditional hero work. They’ve learned too late that this ritual will eventually corrupt them once all the full rituals is complete, and they’re powerless to stop them. So they now go to various planets and recruit and train other magical warriors to stop them when the time comes.

Successor : u/Intel81994
Hi,
I first found this subreddit and Neville's works in 2018 so I thought I'd share my success/experiences.
I've never posted here, only lurked... daily. I often see people post tiny wins in here like manifesting a test result or a few hundred dollars. I don't see many huge wins except occasionally, or multi-year life changing creations.
Well, I'm not where I want to be bc my goals have gotten a lot bigger, but I've come a long way and finding this work in 2018 changed my life so I want to share with you how.
Not to discourage, but small wins are nothing compared to the deep life changes and incredible abundance you can create in knowing who you really are - just think - there are people out there, several, who own $10M+ houses, multi-millionaires, many came from nothing.
I'm not saying that's the only thing worth striving for or even the source of joy, of course. But my point is anything you want, someone else out there has done it, they are just humans like myself and you.
So here's how my life turned around since 2018 and what I created. The HOW I did so is no different than what you already read on this sub every day.
Neville has been my favorite teacher and this is the MAIN sub I have read over the last few years. I own all of his books and have read them several times.
I regard his methods as most influential for me. This may come off as some motivational story but truth is I use Neville's methods daily and always try to understand and control my beliefs to grow.
Here is how my life changed completely after DOING the work:

• MONEY/TRAVEL : I went from -50k in debt running my own online fitness coaching business at my lowest point not knowing how I would pay rent (long story but I was young and not skilled enough in business at this time to really build a team and 7 figure business like I wanted),

to acquiring amazing skills being an intrapreneur working in a small startup online with a terrific mentor (I manifested this exact position with SATS), traveled the world a crazy amount in the exact places I had wanted to and met a ton of cool people (SATS), over 27 countries now, and grew my net worth to over 250k from 2018-2021.
To my current goals, this is really nothing now and I now surround myself with people doing a ton more than me. So I'm not preaching here, it's just levels to the game right.
I now work professionally in the crypto industry, but also have skills and knowledge to a few types of online businesses in the consulting & marketing space, as well as make money from markets/trading, which is a great vehicle because there are effectively no limits.
I can live anywhere I want, have plenty of cushion and money to live mostly how I want (have larger goals now), have time freedom as well, and most of all, love growth and feel great striving for more. I did SATS to get my current gig.
I've also been trading the last 2 years and no it's not easy, in fact you're competing against algorithms and the best minds in the world so the learning curve is quite steep.
Trading is not easy money, but the potential is there. Besides, trading is just one vehicle, it's not value-additive to the market like businesses are, so I believe it's best used in conjunction with a business/job, and investing longer term is better.
Anyway I turned <40k into ~350K in crypto, and a separate stock portfolio last year.
And yes a lot of that crypto growth was market timing and luck with everything going on, monetary policy and all, and I know people who turned less into several million and also plenty who got liquidated and lost millions. I still spent a lot of time and skill to create that, point is I created all of it in various forms.

• FITNESS/HEALTH: I achieved a more fit and better body than 98% of men have. This was a result of hard work plus these methods and was in 2018 when I decided to undergo a bodybuilding prep for a photoshoot. Great size, leanness, abs, I had been lifting for years but never gotten this in shape.

It was not easy, but I looked incredible, and the exact city/water background scene I had visualized for the photos happened. You can scroll to my IG posts from early 2018 for pics proof.
My health is impeccable and I've for sure made other physical changes, and I think I somehow changed my gf's looks to become better over time too. She was always quite cute though. I'm still very much in shape but now do yoga daily for last few years, as well as lifting.

• LOCATION/LIVING: I manifested the EXACT view I used to visualize in the center of my major city, with a gorgeous view of the ocean and city both, for a great price and have lived here for last 3 years now. In a luxury high rise. I can see ships and yachts right outside my balcony every day. It's literally grander than I even knew to imagine just 5 years ago.
  
• MORE FINANCE: Over the last 2 years my investments and more were doing so well sometimes - not always - that I often was able to have some months making 20-40k, point is I was not worried about work.
  

I also believe parallel realities are real and I used to visualize Bitcoin going to 50k back in 2019 when it had stayed below <10k for 2 years. This was not all due to bitcoin, but rather all sorts of investments, but yes crypto as well.
Some was luck, some was skill and work. All was my creation. I also got quite decent at trading and managing a portfolio that I not only managed to publicly call the exact day of the market TOP in november 2021 but also sniped the bottom in July. Intuition plus knowledge.
So I kept this money, it is not bleeding out in my portfolio with the market. I've devoted a LOT into mastering this craft but again, self concept and Neville helped.
I got hacked for 60k-70k a few months back and chose to give it new meaning and manifested a career change to crypto industry, landing a position making over 10k per month (I'm not happy with this at my current standards of income, but I'm grateful), that I am growing to 20k per month of active income now with other streams.
What's interesting in my recent career manifestation is I decided I want a position that basically pays me to do what I already do (I was independently researching and managing a multi-6 figure crypto portfolio... over a quarter million dollars combined money that I was managing. )
I now get paid a full time 6 fig salary to do nothing extra from what I was already doing and barely work on the actual job with plenty of time for other stuff.
I just decided it was done and that's it. Also of course it's remote... knowing what I know, I will only consider remote jobs (never worked in a physical office and I've actually never had a w2 job before this, always doing sales and stuff or my own thing).
I have been working on increasing my standard to 25k per month minimum of active income generation. Had a lot of ideas come through. I’m just not the type to have a job I think but I have to figure out what I can build again.
Compared to who I want to be at a later date that’s also nothing much. Again, levels to the game.
Now also working on growing a business in this space. This hack event was pretty traumatic but I now see how I 100% manifested it. And I can choose to also create something far greater out of the event now.
With every job I've ever had, I've never worked in an office. I've only ever been remote or online because this is the only thing I was willing to accept. Being a digital nomad has been my norm since I graduated college.
Be specific in what you want and do not settle.
I went to a top 5 US public university and even manifested myself to lead a large pre-med club on campus (I was a pre med student) before I knew Neville. I'm now very glad I chose to go my own route instead of medicine for several reasons beyond scope of this post but anyway.

• SP: Manifested my SP (gf) back in 2018 and we have a great relationship going on 6 years now (together since 2016). I focus more on self love and feeling I AM God rather than seeking it externally. My consciousness and inner connection is my source of sustenance.
  
• Honestly there are so many other crazy little things I can't possibly keep track. Every day I have synchronicities like crazy still. I don't give them much meaning but just take it to mean that I am aligned.
  

My best mental model/tips

• Delude yourself into knowing that imagination is MORE real than the 3d. The 3d is 'old news.' Meaning it's a shadow world. The real creation is happening in your imagination, and there is a time lag in this physical world.

Live in your imagination and tune out anything that does not serve keeping you in an optimal state where you feel in control. The more you focus on things that are meant to distract you or displease you, which state do you create from?

• I do SATS during the day, works fine for me, I don't think it matters much if day/night, but you need to do it. Follow a guided hypnosis session to get deeper into trance first if it helps.
  
• Act and trust deeply that life is leading you to what you want, and the meaning you give to events is literally what molds your future. Choose empowering meanings. Stop being a victim.
  

Make a resolve to never think of yourself as a victim of forces out there, the economy, evil people, whatever it is. You want to control your reality then act like it internally.

• Make a daily routine checklist and stick to it so you internally feel in control of your reality. Mine is: SATS or revision, meditate or breathwork, EFT or writing, cold shower, no phone in the morning, wake at 6am, and of course I exercise daily in some form. I use a spreadsheet to make sure I hit my routines for the day so I don't be a victim but rather stay in control. This is critical for me.
  
• As long as you occupy the realms of consciousness that you want, the result WILL come via downloads and hunches and thoughts, and insane physical things will happen that will 'seem like it would have happened anyway' so don't worry about the how.
  

Random Musings
The thing with manifesting is we sometimes take a passive route and wait for things to happen to us (and sure this is fine and still works), but think- if you don't grow your mental, emotional, skills container to deal with large amounts of money, or a team, or skills to sell and market and manage money... if you suddenly get 500K or 1M, how are you going to hold on to it?
If you lack personal power and execution skills, say you suddenly win 5M from the lottery, do you have the skills to keep it and make decisions at a level that can fluctuate several millions? It's stressful and requires thinking completely differently.
You have to 'stress test' your consciousness and expand your container.
I know that because I got hacked (stolen) ~70k it means nothing because the version of me who makes multi-7 figures a year deals with fluctuations of multi-6 figures in his portfolio all the time, it's part of the game. and I HAVE dealt with 6 figure fluctuations in my portfolio before this hack so it wasn't super new in that sense.
You know time is not real, it's all happening now, Creation is already finished, so you should also know that the way to 'hack' time is making decisions from a place of the future version of yourself you already are.
Make a commitment to stop playing small and settling for crumbs. Why would you get hung up on the one limited way your ego thinks that abundance has to manifest in your life, or love, instead of just feeling the emotions themselves, knowing it's done, and letting your life color it in in grander ways than you could have imagined.
Funny little manifestations and things happen literally every day that I just take it as reflections of me being in my creative power.
Something crazy/funny that happened was on our last trip, I told my girlfriend 'hey, how funny and weird would it be to see a parrot meowing?' - then next day we sit at a cafe and there is a parrot in a cage outside, meowing loudly. The most bizarre manifestation, I didn't even intend for it, just asked hey would it not be funny. Things like this happen so often, I can't keep track.
There is nothing new to learn. Just do the techniques and do self care rituals and get lost in your work. Feel the feeling of utter abundance and freedom now and it will happen.
We live in an advanced economy with the internet, it has never been easier to start or fund a business compared to even 50 years ago (see interest rates), distribution has never been easier, so if you know these tools, why would you not create the biggest dream you can imagine? Why settle for a free $200?
I realize there are levels people go through however so I don't mean to belittle, but now that I have been through so much and grown, I know there is nothing separating myself from multi millions and VC's and creators of large companies except belief, work, and time in this reality.
I have the knowledge, belief, and skills to not need a job if I don't want one. I can instead offer something to the market and be independent.
I'm telling you this stuff works and is sustainable. You can be as specific as you want and get whatever you want, and trust that with the turns life takes you through, it is a BRIDGE meant to turn you into the person to get and sustain what you say you want. Decide it and it is so.
I am someone who is a first generation American immigrant, my parents moved to the US from India when I was 5 and we had very little here. I grew up 'lower' middle class, and didn't have the best money programming from parents, but I always did well in school.
I KNOW I am going to be the first multi millionaire in my family. It's all in how you think about yourself/self concept and the work you do from that mindset. Do actions and shift your environment in accordance with who you want to be.
I always splurge on self care now and do things like fly business class or pay more for a better room because that's who I internally am. Just find a way to produce more and let it flow instead of shrinking yourself to be someone you’re not in your 4D
I don't try to scrimp and penny pinch, I let money flow. Even though getting stolen 70k was traumatic, oh well, I chose to give it a better, empowering meaning and my reality shifted.
That's all I have to say. Do the work. Stop procrastinating with learning. All the teachers, scripture, it's all the same Truth at the core. Learning is fine because you learn different mental models at different points of your life but you need to do the work.
I've been fortunate to not only have explored TONS of teachers and books in this realm, you name it I've probably read it or have a copy, I've also HAD mentors and WORKED directly under multi millionaires older and more experienced than me who know this work very well and knew Neville specifically, and it's the real deal. I did sales for someone in the online coaching space was was very well off and had decades of success and spoke of Neville very often, it was really cool.
Proof of the Law
I don't know what more proof you need that the Law is real. All religions throughout eternity have known this, Neville just distilled the same Truth through his own methods that work really well in my opinion and I personally love his interpretation of scripture.
The most successful people in the world are usually consciously (and some unconsciously) doing these same actions. Just do the work and focus on it coming from a good place of knowing that it's done. You don't need to know HOW but you just need to know the plane is going to somehow land one day.
I just come back to Neville every time, because his methods are simple and philosophies work well for how I think. I've done tons of psychedelic mushrooms over the years which luckily made me very open to this sort of thinking, before that I was very rigid and too '3d scientific' minded in my thinking. Keep in mind there is actually nothing 'unscientific' about the Law... modern science has its own limitations in that we cannot measure many things.
What used to be called magic in years past is now under the realm of science right? I'm not saying I don't value logic and science... I have a science degree from a top 5 university.
I'm just saying your ego mind which wants to keep you stuck and surviving uses the excuse of logic and science when that's actually not the full scope of how reality works, we are incredibly limited in our conscious understanding of reality.... we don't even know what we're doing here on a floating rock in infinite space and we can hardly see much of the light spectrum as it is.
So remember that when your ego tries to believe in your limitations and the 3d reality only. You being here is magic that even the most advanced science does not know the answer to. Do scientists know fundamentally why there is something at all instead of nothing?
Anyway, one more thing is I've never been shy of making relatively bold and fast decisions, investing in a mentor (for business) and just generally betting on myself.
Because getting around people who think bigger than you and don't settle is a hack and it's worth every penny. There is a reason millionaires hang with other millionaires.
I'm not saying to cut people out of your life (unless toxic) but rather to seek proximity and get around winners or pay to join some mastermind in business or whatever you need to do to network in your realm.
Just last week I invested 7.5k for get into a network of high performing young male entrepreneurs just because I want a better network in real life and work on business tactics and execution. When I was 23 I invested 25k that I did not have at the time (I made it happen and earned it back) to get a business mentor. So I use all of this in combo with Neville's methods primarily. I really like revision method as well.
The act of DECISION literally creates a parallel reality and becomes the new bridge to your manifestation.

I (28, nb) am just shy of 4WPO from a radical reduction and healing is going well so far! Started at 34G (UK), and currently measuring around a 34D. I’m hoping swelling will reduce and I’ll end up at a true B, but only time will tell
I’ve been taking the birth control pill for ~9 years, initially to help regulate heavy periods and then later for actual contraception. In 2022 I switched from whatever brand I was on prior to Junel, which is an estrogen/progesterone combo pill. It’s worked really well for me mostly
2 weeks before surgery, I went off it per my surgeon’s guidance to lower clotting risk. At 2WPO, she said I’m fine to go back on it from that end of things. HOWEVER, I’m very nervous that my chest will get bigger and I’ll be unhappy with it again after all the pain and hassle of surgery. I know that the biggest predictor of whether it would cause regrowth is whether it caused growth when I first started it. Unfortunately, I started it in the midst of the pandemic and concurrent with starting antidepressants, so while I did gain weight and breast volume during that time, there’s no way to parse how much, if any, was from this pill (first brand I took didn’t notice any)
I spoke to my ob/gyn and she said that while the risk is low, there would be some going back on the pill so she’d probably recommend the Mirena IUD since it’s only local progesterone. Minimal other side effects, supposed to stop periods, and less systemic hormones to possibly trigger regrowth. I’ve avoided IUDs up to now due to knowing folks who had a lot of issues with them — horrible experiences with insertion, terrible bleeding and pain, damage to their uterine wall, etc.
Personally, I’d prefer to just take the pill but I’m already at the biggest size that I think I could “accept” so to speak for physical comfort and gender stuff so any growth feels extra sketchy
What were y’all’s experiences if you went back on the pill post-op? Other advice or recommendations? TIA!
tl;dr - need to go back on birth control for contraceptive purposes and afraid of pain/complications with IUD but also afraid that going back on the pill I’d been taking before will make my chest grow again