Scrub nurse salary ont

I have an almost 3 year old and an almost 1 year old. Starting in August I will be looking for a live-in nanny. This is what I am looking at hours and pay wise:
Hours vary, but would be 36-44 a week (one week longer and the next week shorter) and long hours - 2-3 days of full time work and care. The other 4-5 days off during the week. I am a night nurse, so the days each week would vary based on my own schedule and require them being the only adult home during those nights, and working the next day while I sleep. I hope this makes sense.
Daily tasks would include dropping off OR picking up from preschool 3 days a week (just one, they will not be required to do both especially if it is an off day, this time will be taken into account of their total hours for the week), light cleaning and cooking meals just on days I am working.
I am looking at a salary of $25-30,000 a year. Car insurance, phone, and all food expenses are covered by us. And of course all living expenses as they would be live-in. Car not provided, would prefer they had their own. Will cover car-related expenses if they are driving often on days they are working.
Four weeks of paid vacation per year, 6 paid sick days per year (they can of course take more as needed, these will just be what is paid and will only count towards days I am working).
Does this seem fair? Please let me know if not! I haven’t done much research and want to be sure they are fairly compensated and have reasonable work conditions.

Just had my bilateral salpingectomy today! I saw Dr. Charlotte Pickens in La Jolla, CA btw. It was an amazing experience y'all! Much easier than I anticipated! Buckle up, it's a long one, and very detailed! But all positive for the most part LOL
I'm 34 and have never EVER had surgery aside from getting my wisdom teeth out at 16, and a colonoscopy at 24. Never even broken a bone or gotten stitches, nothing. I have a lot of medical anxiety, I was tripping out the most over sleep paralysis despite anesthesia LOL Wasn't even nervous about the actual surgery, just didn't wanna wake up during it and be mentally scarred for life 🤣 Saw a few scary stories on TV once about that phenomenon.
The office gave me Hibiclens at my consult appt to take home & scrub my abdomen with the last 3 showers leading up surgery. Yesterday morning, yesterday evening, and this morning. No deodorant, lotions, perfumes, nail polish or jewelry after my shower this morning.
I was NPO after midnight last night. They instructed me to drink an ensure between 9pm-11pm last night since my surgery was in the afternoon. I also took half an Ativan last night at 9pm to make sure I slept and didn't have anxiety insomnia lol They also instructed me to take my heart arrythmia pill this morning right upon wakening with a tiny sip of water. I had an echocardiogram a week ago, so yes, I got cardiac clearance lol I also had a pre-op transvaginal ultrasound and blood work 2 weeks ago.
When I got there, they called me back to the pre-op room. I got weighed, asked for my height, and had to pee in a cup first thing. They then had me change into my gown, skiddy socks & hair net. They gave me 2 Tylenol 500mg & a Celebrex (200mg - for preventative nerve pain) with a tiny sip of water. Then they took my BP/pulse ox, and started my IV in my left hand, and started fluids and some Ativan. They also put on the leg compression things, man they feel great lol They got me heated blankets, and even had a lil pack of lavender smelly stuff they taped to the top left of my paper gown for relaxation 😊
All the staff came in and introduced themselves while in pre-op, from the surgeon herself, to the anesthesia team, to the OR scrub nurses, to the surgical resident that'd be observing (with my permission of course.) They also asked if they had permission to let the surgical resident practice a pelvic exam on me while under anesthesia, I agreed. I've been employed in healthcare myself for 17 years, so anything to help with someone's education! I could've refused if I wanted, but I really appreciated them asking beforehand.
They then wheeled me back to the OR, and I was feeling goooood with the Ativan lol They also pushed a lil GI cocktail too before they gave me the gas. I had to scoot myself from my original pre-op bed to the OR table, which was easy, they leveled the beds together and helped me. They then masked me with the gas, and I was outttt like a light after about 4-5 deeeeep inhales!!!
I woke up in post-op an hour and a half later. Went in at 12 noon, woke up at 1:30pm, all done! They intubated me after falling asleep, and pulled it out before waking up, it's like nothing ever happened! No soreness, hoarseness or coughing. I'm clearing my throat occasionally here and there 7 hours later, just kinda feels like when you get "bubbles" (post-nadal drip basically lol) in your throat with seasonal allergies. Not often enough to cause soreness which is great, waaaay better then what I anticipated after reading about other people's experiences on here. They cathed me too since they gave me fluids, thankfully after I was out, and removed it before I woke up, so it hurts to pee just a little bit, not even as bad a UTI 🤣 Like, a 4 on a scale of 1-10.
They gave me ice chips & apple juice straight upon awakening too, which was great! I had no nausea at all, still don't hours later. I rested for about 30 mins, then they brought back my ride to hang out with me and go over discharge instructions. I got up to go pee, and then they wheeled me outside to the car, and even opened the door & helped me get in!! They have $5 valet services for 0-3 hours parking, so the car was pulled right up to the curb right outside the front doors!
We drove straight to IHOP afterwards. I took it easy with some Belgian waffles & a few strips of bacon, and a mango iced tea, and a few sips of my ride's cinnamon milkshake lol I then stopped by Walgreens to grab a few house things I forgot to pick up last night, my ride helped & carried everything 😊
The ride home was smooth, I didn't have any discomfort from the shitty ass bumpy roads on our 30 min drive home lol I did bring a squishmallow to put between my belly and the seat belt, which was a genius idea I picked up on here!
BTW, I'm an occasional recreational cannabis user. I was honest and disclosed my use to my anesthesiologist only (VERY IMPORTANT), I didn't want that ICD-10 diagnosis use code going to Tricare from my consult appt ahead of surgery & prior authorization for obvious reasons lol. I quit edibles 2 months ago, and vaping 1 month ago. My anesthesiologist said I would've been fine discontinuing use just 5-7 days prior to surgery (no ibuprofen 7 days before either lol), but I did a month + to be safe, I'm a bit on the heavier side, and I've heard edibles stick around in your system (fat lol) much longer than just smoking/vaping, so I wanted to be super certain that I'd be clear and not fuck up anesthesia for myself. For reference, I'm 5'6", 180lbs. I took 3-4 puffs of a vape 4-5 days a week, and 10mg worth of edibles once almost every weekend for a few months straight, so not a super heavy user.
I hope my experience can help others make the decision to take the plunge too before election day lol I called to set up the consult appt back in December, had the actual consult appt in February, and first available surgery was today, late May.
I am a generally super anxious person by nature, and had my bestie/coworker take me to my very first surgery. My family is 3k miles away on the east Coast and couldn't be here, so if my anxious ass can do it, literally anybody can do it! I literally have nobody out here but my bestie, no family, no nothing. My soon to be ex husband is on deployment right now out in the Pacific, and is unreachable at the moment, and frankly doesn't give a shit. He knows I had surgery today too, and I KNOW he won't call or email out of common human decency to at least ask how it went when he does get back in service/port. He asked for a divorce a week after my consult appt, which happened to be 2 weeks before deployment, how convenient, after saying straight to my face before & after the appt that he totally supported my choice, and was looking forward to the DINK lifestyle with me. Oh well.
Y'all are 💯 when you say men aren't ~truly~ childfree unless they've had a vasectomy, or atleast got one scheduled on the books soon lol My conservative family back on the east coast are losing their shit over this, they're all christofacist trump bootlickers, I'm so glad I got to move away from all that and experience personal freedom/a different & better way of life out here. I'm so thankful to be in a position financially & geographically to have been able to take care of this. My GYN back home wouldn't even put an IUD in me at 29yrs old cause I never had kid before, so my cervix wasn't soft enough 🙄 Whatever bitch, I left and got spayed in Cali at 34 with no pushback from my Drs out here, kiss my grits lol
Thanks for coming to my hippie TED talk, hope this helps others! ♥️

Hi guys! I’m a 25F and I’m a BSN prepared RN. I’ve been a nurse for a little over 2 years now and I have lots of debt bc 17 year old me had no idea what I was doing. I have 32k in federal student loans that I pay $116 a month for, I’m not really worried about those but I unfortunately got sucked into private loans. It took me 5 years to get my degree, I had to retake a class and with COVID things got a bit delayed.
I had Sallie Mae loans and my interest rate was 13.75% and I deferred payment all throughout school… keep in mind I even went to a state school and commuted 2 out of 3 years even though I lived an hour and a half away. My grand total for private loans was 128k that I have gotten down to 117k at a refinanced of 6.2% rate… 5.95% on autopay. I started aggressively paying them within the last 9 months and I pay $1,500 a month. I also have a car payment of $550 and my insurance is $140 a month. Those are all of my bills.
I make $46 an hour and clear roughly $4,200 a month without any overtime. Im considering graduate school to become a nurse practitioner. I don’t want to do bedside nursing forever, but I don’t want these loans to hold me pay. I would strongly prefer NOT to defer on my private loans while in graduate school, I still want to keep making payments. My job will pay $5,000 a year and I can take 1 glass at a time up until I get to clinicals so that will make it more affordable. Also the university I want to go too is affiliated with my hospital system so I will get 25% off tuition, plus I can apply for scholarships at my job and potential school. NP school with no scholarships or tuition reimbursement is about 38k for the entire program.
I know I have a lot of debt… it’s super overwhelming but I’m living at home for a very very long time and I’m trying to do the right thing and make this situation right for myself. Becoming an NP I would get at least a 20k bonus on my salary off the bat just as a starting salary.
What do you guys think? I wouldn’t take out any loans for grad school and go slowly so I can pay for it and obtain scholarships while still paying down my private student loans. Is it worth?

So, long story short. A table and chairs set in lawn and garden fell off the top shelf and crushed my chest and left shoulder. I have a contusion on my chest wall, a separated shoulder, along with many other strains. I immediately reported it to my TL, who then contacted the only coach on duty at the time to file the incident report. The coach didn’t know much at all about how to complete the form or about policy regarding these type of situations. I spoke with the triage nurse who recommended I go to the hospital (the occupational medicine doctor approved by Walmart works out of an urgent care that was already closed for the day). Went to the hospital, still on the clock, BY MYSELF. Fast forward to the next day, I went to the urgent care. The doctor had me out of work till 6/3, I go into the store to give my people lead the paperwork and my AP coach looked at it and said “this isn’t going to work”, called the doctor, demanded he change the date to the 30th. He agreed although on the new form he said I couldn’t walk, stand, type, etc. My AP coach asked the doctor “what does answering a phone have to do with a chest and shoulder injury?” this isn’t the first time she’s displayed this type of unhinged crackhead behavior. She also said I wouldn’t be paid for going to the urgent care because I was already paid for going to the ER. My question(s) is, isn’t it Walmart policy that a salaried member of management take me to get medical care? Aren’t we supposed to be paid for all doctoER visits? Is she allowed to contact the doctor and demand he change the return to work date? Something is off with this situation. If anyone has any experience with this, please let me know.

So I’m doing an ABSN program and I’m the type of person that is pretty impulsive and wanted to get a head start of obtaining what was required of our program. ie: uniforms, lab kit, instruments,mandatories, books- you get the idea.
The Dean of Nursing had sent out quite a bit of PDFs containing a buttload of overwhelming information so I thought I was doing myself a favor buying my uniform x2 sets of scrub pants and scrub tops (from our partnered uniform website that was provided to us) and scrub jacket…
Just to find out when I picked it up 2 weeks later when it became available they notified me that it was ready to be picked up and that I could try them on before I leave. So I did so and was shocked that the scrub top to my demise did NOT fit entirely right … my chest is only slightly bigger than average (I’m female 24) an my torso is long and I have shorter limbs so it fit slightly short especially since it was compressing my chest but was loose around my waist and stomach area.
I’m normally a medium-large varying on the brand of tops in general but I decided to size UP at least one size to an XL because on the model it looked quite loose and comfortable and figured if I wanted it to fit the same on myself it needed to be slightly bigger… but nope, I thought I was playing it safe since I even measured my chest and everything. And compared my measurements within the measuring chart for the specific brand of scrub top we need/are required to have. I was even wearing a compression sports bra 😭
I asked the lady at the store if I could size up but then she said it cost more to size up to 2x-3X and I’m like 😭😭 wtffffff I’m not even a 2x or 3X but it’s INSANE how the XL scrub tops I got don’t even fit like XL it fits like a SMALL most literally. I wear medium and large tops and have tried on my mom’s MEDIUM scrub tops and those fit perfectly with room!
Just wanted to rant. I know it’s not that big of a deal but I felt like o was going crazy trying on my scrub tops and they were more fitted than expected even with going 1-2 sizes BIGGER. 😞
Does anyone have a favorite brand of scrubs tops they recommend for women with slightly larger than average chest size? And have long torsos, that are comfy and not so restrictive and close to their TRUE sizes?

Any other va remote work nurses facing salary cuts? Seems this is a change made by management and not sure if nationwide.

Hello, I could use some advice regarding my situation. My boyfriend (33M) still lives with his parents, and despite dating for a year and couple months, I haven't had the chance to meet them. I've been living on my own for quite some time, and I've reached a point where I envision him moving in with me. Our relationship is generally great—he's caring, makes time for me, and has a fantastic job, earning double my salary. However, lately, I've been questioning whether I want to move forward with someone who might not be as mature as I'd like. He recently paid off his student loans, which used to be his reason for living with his parents, but he still hasn't made any moves to change his living situation. While he contributes financially and assists his mom due to his dad's lack of employment (dad never worked and mom is a nurse), he doesn't take on domestic responsibilities as his mom handles most of it (she cleans and cooks for him). We've discussed our long-term goals, and while he seems interested, he's hesitant to take action. He often mentions his stress from work and takes things day by day (he’s a pharmacist). He jokes about not wanting to live with his parents forever, but I'm unsure if he's serious. I'm considering whether I should wait it out for another year to see if he'll commit or if I need to reevaluate our relationship. As I mentioned, I live alone and don’t have any parents so I always wanted a partner I can build a life with . So for me, I know he has his own insecurities, but I haven’t met his parents and the big one. He doesn’t really seem excited or able to move in with me. I can’t tell if he’s worth being patient for. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you

Let me know what you think.
This would be a full-time position and the hours are Monday-Thursday 8am-5pm and Friday 8am-1pm.
Starting salary of $95,000 per year with monthly bonuses based off production.
Monthly bonuses start at:
0.75% of all billed charges year 1,
1.25% of all billed charges year 2,
And caps at 1.5% of all billed charges year 3 and beyond.
The monthly production bonuses in year 1 typically are about $800-1,000/month. Bringing your overall compensation in year 1 to well within the range of $104,000-107,000
Three-year agreement with automatic renewal to begin at $95,000/year with annual review for increase, plus monthly bonuses based on production.
14-days paid vacation plus holidays, totaling nearly four-weeks paid time off. After your third year with the company, you begin to accrue one further day of PTO for each year with the company maxing out at 21 days of PTO once you have reached 10 years with the company.
3 days off for CME per year with $1500 allowance. F
Medical, vision, and dental insurance, available for enrollment after 90 days of employment.
401K match program, available for enrollment after one year of employment.
State medical, DEA, and medical licensing fees covered.
Covered clinic expenses, including embroidered scrubs.

Hello. I apologize if these kinds of posts come up but I'm currently researching alternative majors compared to my current choice (nursing) and want to know if accounting is for me. I'll be honest, the one thing I'm somewhat interested in accounting is because I heard you can get a good salary and possibility of hitting the 6 figures mark after a few years from graduating school. I've also heard stories on reddit where people not only get compensated well but also have good WLB because they work less than 30 hours which is very surprising to me considering most nurses work 36 hours. I just want to know but is that true? Or is it just a pipe dream where very few people happen to be lucky? Surely there has to be some sort of drawback like lots of education or stricter requirements.
Also, I want to know is what exactly is a CPA and is that a requirement that accountants have to do in order to get paid more or is it possible to reach the same amount of compensation without it compared to someone who does have a CPA?
Thank you.

Hello! Sorry for being lengthy. I want to make this concise as I can without too much negativity, but I also want a little background for how I ended up here. I also want to preface by saying that I know that I'm not that old in the grand scheme of things, I can always try again, most people don't love their jobs etc. But I also want to start making concrete decisions, and I don't have as much benefit of the doubt at my age. The time WILL pass regardless, I just need to take a step!
Anyways, I'm nearly 27, Midwestern, grew up somewhat sheltered, virtual homeschooled, and still live with my large nuclear family. I do housework, cook, help my siblings with school, and help with emergency cash, but I want to contribute to bills until I can move out. I have a HS Diploma, but not a high GPA as I legitimately didn't think I'd make it this far, so I didn't focus much. I worked for 10 years as an (unpaid) teacher's assistant at my old church for K-2nd grade until 2016. Besides sporadic community volunteer work, I hadn't worked again until 2019 at Chipotle. Didn't love it, but I worked hard and liked most of my customers and coworkers. I started saving for a car so I could learn, but once the pandemic hit, I had to step down for my and my family's health.
I had the opportunity to take a free Cybersecurity bootcamp to train for CompTIA A+, but even though I passed the course, fear of failing and wasting money stopped me from getting my cert. I've been using my year of savings to pay for things, but I have practically nothing left. I've been hardcore applying to jobs for a year in anticipation of losing my insurance, but with my employment gaps and weird job history, I keep coming up short. And since I never moved up from line server at Chip, I don't have concrete success numbers/metrics or management skills to put on my resume. I want to take charge of my life, start taking courses and either get certified, or go get a degree. I'm just completely indecisive on what path to take! I don't have a specific interest at all, I just want something mostly stable. The time doesn't phase me and I know I can learn anything, but I want to focus on a position/field that is less likely to be obsolete in 5-10 years. I want to help pay bills, save up for a car, and eventually move out.
I am moderately computer savvy, write 50WPM so far, have been complimented for patience, tenacity and upbeat demeanor at work. I love looking things up and watching and reading essays and deep dives. I have artistic ability, but not enough output to make a career off of it alone. I have mild memory problems, but I am working on mitigating them. I have respiratory issues, so I can't do anything heavily active. I only have proper contact information for one of my bosses for references, and don't have many connections outside of who my dad knows in IT.
I've taken some career tests this week, mostly variants on Holland codes. I've gotten high Artistic and Social scores, with Investigative and Conventional close behind. I've looked into some suggested careers, plus my own external research, and here are a few I've considered:

• Teacher: I constantly go back to this, since I wanted to teach for years, and every test mentioned this option. I do like working with kids overall. But I'm always stopped by the salary, and going back to school to barely make a living seems like poorly used time. And the current state of being a teacher seems bleak!
• UI/UX/Web Dev: I've looked into this option as I'd be able to use some creativity in tech. However, I constantly see that the field is over-saturated and hard to get in to. I've also seen it mentioned so often that I doubt I'd be competitive among others. I'm considering taking a course to see how I feel about it, and I do know a bit of code.
• Paralegal: I like research, wouldn't mind clerical work, and assisting with law without having to be the public face sounds interesting. But I've also seen people say it's heavy hours and low respect. I'd like to work in a law field that feels meaningful to me, like labor law, but I'm not sure how picky I could be.
• Technical writing: Started to deep dive here recently. There's not as much talk about the position so it feels less...overplayed? The idea of taking technical jargon and converting it for laypeople sounds pretty cool, especially as there still is a social aspect to it. However, I know I'd likely need a Bachelors, and experience in a particular field to break in.
• Accounting: Another that I've seen here and there, mostly saying that it's stable and well paid (and I have a cousin who proves that). I know that people say it's not heavy math, but I'm still apprehensive. Looking into it more, the hours also seem pretty heavy. But, doing my "boring" office work then having money for free time seems nice.
• CyberSec/Data Analytics/etc: Going back to get my A+ cert and working in IT. I did already invest time, and I do have plenty of resources. But it was hard for me to be fully into the tech industry side, I kinda felt like a fraud. And paying such a high assessment fee to possibly fail still makes me apprehensive. But, again, the pay could be amazing, and I do love problem solving.
• EditoProofreading: Something I've done on the side for my siblings before, and also at the top of some of my career tests. However, I'm worried how much if this will be phased out by automation, and I didn't see great prospects when I looked into it more.
• Science or History related careers: ?? I've had moderate interest in both since school, but I never specialized in any niches.

At the core of it all, I want something mostly stable, livable wages with money left to be able to help others, and doesn't directly harm anyone. Something where I'm not only helping corporate interests, even if that's most of it. An extra desire would be to eventually be partially/fully remote in regard to my health concerns, but it may not be realistic. All I know is that I don't want anything military or strictly sales related, and I don't think I have the constitution for nursing.
Thanks in advance for any help!

Hello! I have an interview with a company tomorrow for a very unique position. With that said, I don't have any information to go off of to base my salary expectations on.
Would anyone be able to guide me to find a similar role where I can use that to come up with a reasonable salary? (I want to be as vague as possible in case the recruiter sees this (a 0% chance but I really want the job and can never be too sure lol). I thought this sub would be a good place considering the position is lab related).
The position's primary duties consists of the following: providing training to staff of places that draw labs and send to their laboratory. It seems there is some quality assurance involved to prevent waste and ensure timely results of labs. Some customer service with keeping the clients that utilize the lab happy. Additionally, the position requires a heavy amount of travel to client sites and some software training for clients. The position requires a few years of experience as a dietitian or nurse within the specific field. In short, the position is geared towards making sure the client and lab relation is strong as well as education and again a big piece of it is travel.
Any insight or help would be greatly appreciated!

I am incoming freshmen and right now I am having an identity crisis which college program I will take. I want to study Psychology pero iniisip ko yung magiging future ko. Yes, broad/flexible career choice, but once you get your Rpm yung salary na matatanggap mo ay mababa. You still need further studies pa para kumuha ng master’s degree. I also heard na hindi rin in demand ang Psych sa ibang bansa unlike Nursing. My interest right now is on Psychology talaga, nasa choices ko pa rin naman ang Nursing. I just want a financial security lang talaga that’s why I’m having this dilemma :(

Step by step if possible - I’m baffled!

Super naguguluhan na po ako sa kukunin kong course. Gagraduate na ko ng g12 and waiting na lang ako sa result ng inapplyan kong schl kung saan bs psych yung program na pinili ko. Baka nagtataka po kayo "bat pa ko naguguluhan eh nag-apply na pala ko for bs psych?" kasi po I was told na walang pera sa psych unless itutuloy mo yung pag-aaral (MD, Rpsy, PhD) kaso hindi ko naman po balak. And now po habang may mga open pang schl nagbabalak pa kong mag-apply, pero idk if nursing na ba sincee hindi ko naman sya gusto and di rin naman ayaw. Yan lang sinuggest sakin. And if ever na pumasa na ko sa inapplyan ko ng psych idk if itutuloy ko ba hahshahs sayang naman if hindi lalo na free tuition and state u yon. Kaya I'm asking bs psych graduates if oki ba kayo sa work niyo ngayon, lalo na po salary.

Staff hospital nurse, HCOL, current full-time pay is $54/hour. I applied for a team lead position on my current unit, interviewed, waiting to hear.
In the "salary requirement" line of the application, I said $140k. When the recruiter set up the interview, she told me that the range for my experience was $63-64 / hour. She implied that the institution has a scale for years of experience for a given position and that was the range I would be looking at and would I be OK with this. I said yes, that sounds OK.
Now, I don't expect to get to $140k. Based on my experience with this employer, it's plausible that there is in fact a strictly followed scale. While I have worked there, I have twice received significant market adjustments (20% or more) implemented to retain nurses.
If I am offered this job, I anticipate they will say, "This is the rate." I think my next move is to say, "When we first spoke, you said there was a scale based on years of service for this position. Please share this scale with me so I understand where I will be now and four years from now." If there is a scale, I will ask, "How binding is this scale? I think I may be worth more."
I am nervous about this (of course I am, employers rely on that!) and would really love to hear comments and suggestions. Especially from people who think I should change my approach! Thanks in advance.

Hello all i am new to reddit and English is not my 1st language so plz forgive me if my post does look odd, also this is my throw away Account as i am here just to rant. I (F-30) and my husband (31-M) are married for a little more than 4 years and have a daughter of 2 years. Our marriage was more of an arrange marriage set up (very common in my country). i belonged to a very lower middle class family but with manner. my husband belongs to a middle class family with not manners. I am a moderately successful person in my career and my husband is a very successful person in his career, but in terms of beauty i am more beautiful in our relationship. He is a very caring and loving person and so am i. Just today i got to know that my FIL(F-56), who does not live with us, might have Prostate cancer.
Little background about the in-law side
when i marriged my husband we had a very good relationship with my husband and my FIL want to work and be independent so he decided to be in his home town with my SIL (F-28, now married but that time she was unmarried) and we had to relocate to the city where my husbad got his job things we going good we had our up and down but things were fine. I did not have my MIL, as she did 3 - 4 years back my marrige i know this before getting married but did not know that, she cheated on my FIL. This whole situagtion was hidden from us before marriage and was told to me post marriage. But post i came to know about this i did not make a fuss out of it because i tried and become more understanding. Also my husband was apologized (which i felt was quite genuine ) and told me that it was asked to kept hidden by my FIL. My husband and my FIL my SIL and my FIL, my SIL and my FIL all have a wierd relation. My husband and my SIL are very intelligent but have broken self-esteem because of the thing happen in there childhood. let me tell u about this in posts

• when my MIL cheated on my FIL i was weirdly blamed to my husband and was physically and mentally torched for the same by my FIL (when he was 14)
• my husband and SIL was beaten everyday without any reason just to take out his worldly irritation
• my MIL was forced to do abortion every 3 months for consecutive years
• my MIL was also beaten with out any reason (before her affair)
• my SIL and Husband achievements was and are treated as trophies, although has no contribution form my FIL
• My FIL insulted my husband and commented on his looks height and his profession every time privately and publicly
• my SIL was so my tortured by my FIL that once her hand was broken and treated and then again broken (because she was being a child of her age) she was more scared of the fact that my FIL will beat her because of the situation
• my SIL was forced to do all the work of home and then go to her job(she is a nurse) then come back and take care of him. some time she was forced to do this even though she was sick for consecutive 5 days. we had to intertwine and had to bring her to us

there were hundreds of such situation that has happen with them. Weirdly although he has such a narcissistic behavior but still but husband and SIL cant go no contact with him
His relation with other Relatives
He has no good relation with any other relatives

• not with his own brother
• not with his own Sister
• not with his own in-laws
• not with his daughters in-laws etc.

According to him everyone has cheated him.
My FIL's problem with me
when i was newly married i thought he was a very nice person and follow what ever he told me but post married i saw some problem as he was insulting my husband in font of me and my family which i did not like and stared confronting my husband about it which stared make some drift between me and my husband, because he is non-confrontational. but the problems were short lived as we shifted to the city where my husband has his job and i too got a job their.
When i was living with my in-laws i showed disapporval that i dont like his behaviour towards my husband. he does not like the fact that how can i question his behavior. As he diss-associate those people who question him and his behavior (hence he has not relation with any of his relatives - as motioned above).
my husband and my SIL used to send 90% of his salary to my FIL and he used to completely control their finances but i denied and after i explained my husband that we also have to start our family (had to fight to many fight ). my husband also reduced the amount that he used to send to my FIL. He hates me for that too.
ALL THIS TIME HE HIMSELF WAS EARING SIGNIFICATLY HE JUST WANT TO HAVE COUNTOL OVER HIS FULLY ADULT CHILDRENT LIFE
He had a fake life i font of world that his kid, Brother, wife, brother's wife, etc. people do not respect him also used to tell people that my kids do not give my any money, but i exposed his lies.
I helped my husband to see his true colours and and come out of his toxic world.
Now my problem with my FIL
he did so many things to get back to me because he has problems with me, let me put it in points.

• he tied feeding lies to my husband about me having an affair out side my marriage
• i asked him question about why he tried to hid the truth about my MIL and her cheating scandal from me before marriage, stared playing victim and some how made me villain
• i had some complication while my pregnancy so had to leave and we had some financial trouble as my husband did not get his salary for 3 months our saving was exhausted (we had only limited funds as rest was initially taken by my FIL). He tried to intentionally tried manipulating my husband and stopped my medicine for pregnancy. which with-in 3 days my husband came in his senses.
• we decided that we together with take care of our pregnancy expenses again manipulating my husband into pushing me to my parents arm for delivery expense. he knew my parents are my that rich to handle there expenses. thank god i had my hidden stash of savings. which when my husband came in his senses after so many months tired repaying
• when we got a transfer to near by or home town, Fought with us like cats and mouse called me names insulted me my husband always stood and Fought from my side.
• called me GOLD Digger although in past or in present he has not contribute a single penny in our house or has bought even a piece of cloth for me or my husband.
• took all of my jewelry which i was gifted in my married got got from my parents.
• directly asked my husband to divorce because he does not like me the time when i was pregnant.
• AND has done so many so so so many other things called me so many names i dont want to remember that. Above all he never once said sorry about the situation and never showed any remorse

I have not even mention how badly he has tried while my SIL marriage that would take another 1000 words essay. his relation with us now
my husband is still maintaining a relation with him us i dont visit him that much but do visit him once or twice a year. whenever he visit us i maintain a cordial and distance relation with him, as i dont want my daughter to not have a missing grandpa relation .
Now what happen today
I got to now today he might have Cancer. i hate him so much for the things he did to me it feels like karma hit him. but i know i husband will again feel empathy for him and bring him back to our life and i dont want him in my life. i dont want to have any relation with him neither good nor bad. i dont want (but i know i will) take care of him now when he is suffering. He made my file living hell for initial 2 years of my marriage. He made my life living hell while my pregnancy and post pregnancy. I HATE HIM. I know i am an ass hole for still keeping the grudge but he never accepted his mistake and above all he still till this day tried to break my marriage and created situation to create fight in our family.
So, Am i the a hole for hating and not feeling sorry for my FIL on his news of him might having cancer as he has always tried sabotaging and destroying my relationship with my husband and also for torturing me while my post and per - pregnancy ?