In today's interconnected world, the internet is integral to our daily lives. From communication and education to shopping and entertainment, we rely heavily on digital platforms. However, the convenience of the internet comes with significant risks. Cyber threats are more prevalent and sophisticated than ever before, making online safety a critical concern. This article explores why online safety is paramount and provides comprehensive tips to help you protect yourself and your data.

Why Online Safety is Important

1. Personal Information Protection
   • Identity Theft: Cybercriminals can steal personal information such as names, addresses, social security numbers, and credit card details. This information can be used to commit identity theft, leading to financial loss and legal complications. Identity theft can also cause long-term damage to your credit score, making it difficult to obtain loans, mortgages, or even employment.
   • Privacy Invasion: Sensitive personal details, if compromised, can lead to unwanted exposure and privacy violations. This can have severe emotional and psychological impacts. Privacy invasion can also lead to harassment or stalking, creating a threatening environment for victims.
2. Preventing Financial Loss
   • Phishing Scams: These scams trick individuals into revealing financial information by posing as legitimate entities. Falling victim to phishing can result in unauthorized transactions and drained bank accounts. Phishing scams can also compromise your email and social media accounts, leading to further exploitation.
   • Ransomware: Cybercriminals use ransomware to encrypt your data and demand a ransom for its release. Paying the ransom does not guarantee data recovery and often leads to further exploitation. Businesses can face significant operational disruptions and financial loss due to ransomware attacks, impacting their ability to serve customers and maintain trust.
3. Securing Sensitive Data
   • Business Information: For businesses, safeguarding sensitive data such as customer information, intellectual property, and strategic plans is crucial. A data breach can result in substantial financial losses, legal consequences, and reputational damage. Companies must comply with data protection regulations like GDPR and CCPA, which mandate strict data handling and reporting practices.
   • Compliance and Regulations: Many industries are subject to strict data protection regulations. Failure to comply can result in hefty fines and legal action. Ensuring compliance with regulations not only protects data but also enhances customer trust and loyalty.
4. Maintaining Online Reputation
   • Social Media Safety: Your online profiles are part of your digital identity. A compromised account can lead to reputational damage, both personally and professionally, as malicious actors can post harmful content or send fraudulent messages. Social media accounts are often targeted for their high visibility and potential to spread misinformation.
   • Professional Integrity: For professionals, maintaining a clean online presence is crucial for career growth. Employers and colleagues often review social media profiles to gauge character and professionalism. An online reputation tarnished by cyber incidents can hinder career advancements and job opportunities.
5. Avoiding Malware and Viruses
   • System Integrity: Malicious software can corrupt files, steal information, and degrade system performance. Ensuring your devices are protected helps maintain their integrity and functionality. Malware can also create backdoors for attackers to continuously exploit your system, leading to recurring security issues.
   • Data Security: Malware can give attackers access to sensitive data stored on your devices, leading to data breaches and information theft. This can include personal photos, documents, and confidential business information, all of which can be exploited for financial gain or blackmail.
6. Safe Communication
   • Encryption: Secure online communication is vital to protect private conversations and sensitive information from being intercepted by malicious actors. Encrypted communication ensures that only the intended recipient can access the message content. Encryption tools like Signal and WhatsApp provide end-to-end encryption for messaging, ensuring privacy.
   • Awareness: Being aware of potential communication threats, such as spoofed emails and fake profiles, can prevent you from falling prey to social engineering attacks. Educating yourself and others on recognizing these threats is essential for maintaining secure communication channels.

Comprehensive Tips for Staying Safe Online

1. Use Strong, Unique Passwords
   • Password Complexity: Create complex passwords that include a mix of uppercase and lowercase letters, numbers, and symbols. Avoid using easily guessable information such as birthdays or common words. Strong passwords reduce the likelihood of brute-force attacks.
   • Password Management: Use a password manager to generate and store unique passwords for each of your accounts. This ensures that you do not reuse passwords, which can be a significant security risk. Password managers also help you keep track of your login credentials securely.
2. Enable Two-Factor Authentication (2FA)
   • Extra Layer of Security: Two-factor authentication (2FA) adds an additional layer of security by requiring a second form of verification, such as a text message code or authentication app, in addition to your password. 2FA significantly enhances account security, even if your password is compromised.
   • Account Protection: Enabling 2FA on your accounts can significantly reduce the risk of unauthorized access. Popular services like Google, Facebook, and banking apps offer 2FA options, which should be enabled for all sensitive accounts.
3. Be Cautious with Emails and Links
   • Email Verification: Be wary of emails from unknown senders and avoid clicking on suspicious links or downloading attachments from untrusted sources. Verify the sender's email address and look for signs of phishing, such as misspellings or urgent requests for personal information. Phishing emails often create a sense of urgency to trick recipients into taking immediate action.
   • URL Inspection: Hover over links to see the actual URL before clicking. Ensure that the URL is legitimate and not a cleverly disguised phishing site. Secure websites typically use HTTPS, indicating a secure connection.
4. Keep Software Updated
   • Regular Updates: Regularly update your operating system, browsers, and software applications. Updates often include security patches that protect against newly discovered vulnerabilities. Outdated software is a common target for cyberattacks due to unpatched security flaws.
   • Automatic Updates: Enable automatic updates where possible to ensure that you receive the latest security patches without delay. This is especially important for antivirus software and operating systems, which frequently release critical security updates.
5. Use Antivirus and Anti-Malware Programs
   • Protection Tools: Install and maintain reliable antivirus and anti-malware software to detect and remove harmful threats from your devices. Regularly scan your system to ensure it is free from malware. These tools provide real-time protection against a wide range of threats.
   • Real-Time Protection: Use real-time protection features to continuously monitor your system for suspicious activity. Real-time protection helps prevent malware from executing and spreading on your device.
6. Secure Your Home Network
   • Wi-Fi Security: Protect your Wi-Fi network with a strong password and use WPA3 encryption for added security. Avoid using default passwords and SSIDs that can be easily guessed. A secure Wi-Fi network prevents unauthorized access and protects data transmitted over the network.
   • VPN Use: Consider using a virtual private network (VPN) to encrypt your internet connection, especially when using public Wi-Fi. A VPN masks your IP address and secures your online activities from prying eyes. VPNs are particularly useful for protecting sensitive information while traveling or accessing unsecured networks.
7. Monitor Your Accounts
   • Account Activity: Regularly check your bank statements, credit reports, and online accounts for any unusual activity. Early detection of unauthorized activity can prevent further damage. Set up account alerts to receive notifications of suspicious transactions or login attempts.
   • Alert Systems: Set up account alerts to notify you of suspicious transactions or login attempts. Many financial institutions and online services offer customizable alert options to keep you informed of account activity.
8. Educate Yourself and Others
   • Stay Informed: Stay informed about the latest online threats and security practices. Follow reputable sources for cybersecurity news and updates. Cybersecurity is an evolving field, and staying current with trends and threats is crucial for maintaining safety.
   • Community Awareness: Share your knowledge with family, friends, and colleagues to promote a safer online environment for everyone. Encourage them to adopt good security habits and practices. Hosting workshops or informational sessions can be an effective way to spread awareness.
9. Backup Your Data
   • Regular Backups: Regularly back up your important data to an external hard drive or cloud storage service. This ensures that you can recover your information in case of a cyberattack or system failure. Regular backups protect against data loss from ransomware attacks or hardware failures.
   • Backup Encryption: Encrypt your backups to protect them from unauthorized access. Encrypted backups ensure that even if backup media is lost or stolen, the data remains secure.
10. Be Skeptical of Free Offers

• Suspicious Offers: Be wary of free offers, contests, and downloads that seem too good to be true. Cybercriminals often use these tactics to distribute malware or collect personal information. Free software or services may contain adware or spyware that compromises your security.
• Trusted Sources: Only download software and applications from reputable sources and official websites. Avoid third-party download sites that may bundle legitimate software with malicious programs.

Conclusion

In an increasingly digital world, online safety is more important than ever. Protecting personal and sensitive information from cyber threats requires vigilance and proactive measures. By following the comprehensive tips provided, you can enhance your online security and enjoy the benefits of the internet with greater peace of mind. Stay safe, stay informed, and make online safety a priority.
Being safe online is not just a personal responsibility but a collective one. By practicing good cybersecurity habits, you contribute to a safer digital environment for everyone. Remember, the cost of negligence can be high, but with the right precautions, you can

Vladimir Putin has landed in Beijing for a two-day state visit, where he was greeted by Chinese leader Xi Jinping with a red-carpet welcome and a full military band. The trip will build on their commitment to the "no limits" relationship they signed at the Winter Olympics in 2022, just before the full-scale invasion of Ukraine. As Russia becomes isolated from the West on the world stage, it has sought to boost trade in the East and elsewhere, helping prop up its economy in the face of sanctions.
Quote: "Relations between Russia and China are not opportunistic and not directed against anyone," Putin declared. "Our cooperation in international matters is one of the stabilizing factors in the international arena." Xi echoed the sentiment, adding that China will "work together to achieve the development and rejuvenation of our respective countries" and "to uphold equity and justice in the world."
Trade between the two nations has soared to record levels, rising 26% last year to $240B and hitting targets ahead of schedule. Russia has even overtaken Saudi Arabia as China's main oil supplier, while the latter sends back key commodities, vehicles and other consumer goods. Trade has also seen Russia's economy top expectations to expand by 3.6% in 2023, according to the IMF, despite Western efforts aimed at draining the Kremlin's war coffers.
Reaction? Wall Street Breakfast ran a survey last November, and again this week, on how the U.S. should manage its economic relationship with China. The biggest changes over the past six months showed that more subscribers have less faith in rapprochement and trade deals (24% to 15%), while a greater number believe decoupling and sanctions are the way to go (11% to 19%). It's noteworthy as Washington has recently threatened additional sanctions on Chinese banks and entities that handle Russian trade involving dual-use goods that can be used for both civilian and military purposes. How does all of this factor into your investing decisions? Join the discussion in the comments section.
Soft CPI Thought the Fed was only data dependent? Guess again. Data-centric traders celebrated in style after April's Consumer Price Index increased by 0.3% from March, easing from the +0.4% pace seen in the previous three months. The print, which meant inflation is still running well above the 3% level on an annualized basis, helped push Wall Street indices to new record highs, with the S&P 500 (SP500) crossing 5,300 for the first time ever. Meanwhile, retail sales came in flat, while regional business activity cooled further, suggesting the Fed could ease monetary policy earlier than expected. (119 comments)
Secret stake It's 13F season, where hedge funds with at least $100M in assets under management reveal their holdings. The flurry of filings sheds light on what they bought and sold during the quarter, but investment managers can also make special requests to regulators to keep some of their stakes confidential. Insurance-focused Berkshire Hathaway (BRK.B) just revealed one of those positions, disclosing a prior $6.7B stake in Chubb (CB), with market participants sending the stock up 8% AH on Wednesday as some looked to copy the successful picks of Warren Buffett. Other 13F highlights include filings from Bill Ackman's Pershing Square, Michael Burry's Scion and David Tepper's Appaloosa. (33 comments)
Battle of the skies AT&T (T) is teaming up with AST SpaceMobile (ASTS) to bring satellite internet connectivity to cell phones. The news sent ASTS up 36% in premarket trading this morning, with the space-based broadband network deal set to last until 2030. Other telecom operators have also ventured into the market. T-Mobile has a similar deal with SpaceX (SPACE), while Verizon (VZ) previously partnered with Amazon's (AMZN) Project Kuiper for connectivity solutions. Apple (AAPL) has also been offering satellite-to-cellphone emergency services on its iPhones since 2022. (43 comments)
Today's Markets
In Asia, Japan +1.4%. Hong Kong +1.6%. China +0.1%. India +0.9%. In Europe, at midday, London -0.2%. Paris -0.4%. Frankfurt -0.3%. Futures at 7:00, Dow +0.1%. S&P +0.1%. Nasdaq +0.2%. Crude -0.2% to $78.49. Gold -0.3% to $2,388.80. Bitcoin +5.4% to $66,165. Ten-year Treasury Yield unchanged at 4.34%.
Today's Economic Calendar
8:30 Housing Starts and Permits 8:30 Initial Jobless Claims 8:30 Philly Fed Business Outlook 8:30 Import/Export Prices 9:15 Industrial Production 10:00 Fed’s Barr Speech 10:00 Fed's Barkin Speech 10:30 EIA Natural Gas Inventory 10:30 Fed's Harker Speech 12:00 PM Fed's Mester Speech 3:50 PM Fed's Bostic Speech 4:30 PM Fed Balance Sheet
Companies reporting earnings today »
What else is happening...
GameStop (GME), AMC (AMC)? Meme rally is cooling off big time.
First Solar (FSLR) pops after trade probe into Asian solar imports.
Netflix (NFLX) ad plan tops 40M users; NFL deal in the bag.
Microsoft's (MSFT) emissions rise amid surging AI demand.
BOJ rate hike? Trouble as Japan's economy keeps shrinking.
Disney (DIS) flags spending cuts on marketing, traditional TV.
Networking: Cisco (CSCO) raises guidance after latest results.
Morgan Stanley highlights Dell's (DELL) AI server and storage.
China's NIO changing global strategy as U.S., EU tariffs loom.
Check out the latest hot dividend picks by Seeking Alpha analysts.

This is primarily regarding migration of our existing VMs onto new ESXis.
Our current setup includes 3 ESXi Systems with a common Netapp Storage.
The ESXis have VSphere 5.5 version and has all toghther 25 VMs distributed over 3 ESXis.
We have now purchased new ESXi Hardware and wish to migrate the existing VMs to new ESXi.
Till now we never had VCenter and have only standalone ESXi with common storage.
We have now also ordered Licenese copy of VMWare Essential Kit 8.0 ESSL.
Unfortunately we are currenty having tough time getting the ISO images of ESXi 8.0u2 and VCenter Appliance from Broadcom Website.
The Website says we are not entitled to download ESXi 8.0u2, which we are actually but do not see the option to enable our
entitlement. Can anyone help here? I tried to activate my account but it is asking for Site-ID, which I do not have it. :(
Secondly we would like to start preparing the environment for the migration of VMs.
Like said before we did not have VCenter till now, so how do we consider the migration?
Our plan is, setting up the 3 new ESXis with compatible version? 8.0u2 or should we go for 7.0 Version first so to avoid any migration complexities?
After we have 3 ESXis up and running, we connect the Netapp Storage so that all the existing VMs will be visible to new ESXi.
Here should we consider VCenter appliance? So we install it on the new ESXi and that will help us migrating the VMs?
But does it require to install VCenter also on existing ESXi 5.5?
While tranferring the VMs onto new ESXi, what is the method? We can do a cold migration, that is not the issue.
So migration procedure would be, stop the VM. And access the common storage from new ESXi and start adding this VM so on?
Will there be any compatibility issues, as we do have some older linux versions like SuSE 10 VMs?
Or transferring the VMs using VCenter is a better option?
Any helpful pointers will be really appreciated.

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AWS application integration empowers seamless connections between decoupled components within microservices, distributed systems, and serverless applications. Communication can occur directly via well-defined point-to-point APIs or asynchronously through message queues (SQS) or event-driven triggers (EventBridge).
Core AWS services like Amazon Simple Notification Service (SNS) and API Gateway facilitate these interactions. The integration process typically involves analyzing the applications, designing the integrated system’s architecture, and finally, implementing and rigorously testing the connection. This collaborative effort often requires a project manager, business analyst, AWS solution architect, developers, QA engineers, and a DevOps engineer.

Benefits of application integration

We’ve established that application integration fosters efficiency and eliminates redundancies. Now, let’s delve deeper into the top business benefits provided by AWS application integration:
1. Agility
DevOps thrives on agile workflows, and AWS application integration services empower you to achieve just that. Here’s how:

• Reduced custom coding: Say goodbye to lengthy custom code development for interoperability. AWS services handle heavy lifting, freeing your team to focus on core functionalities.
• Minimize code repetition: Reduce redundant code across functions and microservices, streamlining development and maintenance.

This results in faster and more efficient application development, allowing you to innovate and adapt with agility.
2. Shift operational focus
AWS application integration services take over operational burdens, empowering your IT team to focus on strategic initiatives. Here’s what you gain:

• Automatic scaling: Forget about time-consuming server provisioning, patching, and management. AWS scales automatically based on demand.
• Focus on high-level tasks: Free your IT team’s valuable time from mundane tasks. Let them focus on strategic initiatives and innovation.

This shift allows you to maximize your IT resources and unlock greater strategic value.
3. Component independence
Application integration fosters component independence, safeguarding your applications from technical failures or resource spikes:

• Decoupled applications: Maintain interoperability while ensuring your applications operate independently.
• Isolated failures: If one component encounters an issue, the rest remain unaffected, preventing widespread system outages.
• Independent scaling: Scale components independently based on their specific needs, ensuring optimal performance for each application.

This resilience translates to a more robust and reliable application ecosystem.
4. Powerful messaging
Effective communication is the cornerstone of successful application integration. AWS delivers with a suite of powerful messaging tools:

• Unmatched throughput: Don’t worry about message traffic limitations. AWS handles high volumes effortlessly.
• Storage facility: AWS utilizes advanced storage solutions across Availability Zones for exceptional availability and durability.

With AWS, you can message with confidence, ensuring your applications stay in sync and operate seamlessly.
By leveraging these key benefits of AWS application integration, you can create a streamlined and efficient workflow, empowering your applications to work together flawlessly. This translates to a more agile, resilient, and ultimately, successful business environment.
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Steps for application integration on AWS

The specific timeline of an AWS integration project varies depending on complexity, chosen approach, and existing environment. Here’s a typical process breakdown:
1. Analysis (1-3 weeks):

• Describe application architecture and constraints.
• Estimate investment and value of integration.
• Define success metrics (e.g., faster processing, fewer errors).

2. Design (1-3 weeks):

• Identify and map available APIs.
• Map business workflows and identify integration points.
• Design the integrated system architecture:
  • Data flow mapping between applications.
  • Data transformation planning (if required).
  • Data security planning (location, transmission).
  • Define performance requirements.
• Choose integration approach and AWS services.
• Plan a pilot project (optional).
• Plan code adjustments (optional, may take 2-3 months).

3. Implementation & testing (variable duration):

• Implement code changes in applications.
• Connect applications using chosen approach:
  • Option 1: Point-to-point API communication (API Gateway, AppSync, AppFlow)
    • Design and publish APIs.
    • Prepare API documentation.
    • Configure integration settings.
  • Option 2: Message/event-based communication (SNS, SQS, MQ, EventBridge, MSK, Kinesis)
    • Select or build adapters for communication.
    • Define message/event routing and modification rules.
  • Option 3: Building workflows (Step Functions)
    • Sequence applications and services using drag-and-drop interface.
    • Set up logs/events for performance monitoring.

4. Test the integration:

• Uni-, bi-, and asynchronous queries for data consistency.
• Failover and recovery mechanisms.
• Performance, scalability, and security of the solution.

The top AWS integration services for a streamlined workflow

While AWS offers a vast array of application integration services, here’s a breakdown of some of the most powerful and popular choices to streamline your workflow:

1. Amazon SNS

Amazon Simple Notification Service (SNS) excels at creating and integrating loosely coupled and distributed applications. It simplifies managing and sending notifications from the cloud through various delivery options, including:

• Event notification
• Application monitoring
• Workflow system management
• Time-sensitive updates

Virtually any application that generates or consumes notifications can leverage SNS. Its flexible message delivery system utilizes multiple transport protocols for reliability. Plus, with pay-as-you-go pricing, you only pay for the resources you use.

2. Amazon SQS

Amazon Simple Queue Service (SQS) empowers companies to send, store, and receive messages between software components. It acts as a temporary buffer for messages awaiting processing, decoupling applications for increased elasticity. Here’s how SQS benefits your workflow:

• Decoupling: Applications are free to operate independently, enhancing scalability.
• Pull-based delivery: Unlike SNS (push-based), SQS allows applications to control the flow of messages, promoting high-performance processing.
• High-volume messaging: SQS effortlessly handles massive quantities of messages, ensuring your applications can operate at peak performance.

3. Amazon SWF

Amazon Simple Workflow Service (SWF) allows businesses to seamlessly coordinate work across distributed systems. It’s ideal for processing background jobs with sequential or parallel steps, acting as a:

• Task coordinator: SWF orchestrates the execution of workflows, ensuring tasks are completed in the correct order.
• State tracker: It meticulously tracks the processing state of each workflow, providing complete visibility.
• Failure management: SWF gracefully handles task failures, allowing for automatic retry or recovery.

This makes SWF ideal for building asynchronous, distributed systems where complex workflows need to be managed, such as order fulfillment or procedural requests.

4. AWS Step Functions

AWS Step Functions provides a serverless way to sequence AWS services within your business-critical applications. It helps coordinate and organize distributed systems as a series of well-defined steps. With a visual editor, Step Functions simplifies workflow creation and execution, offering:

• Visual workflow building: The user-friendly interface allows you to build and run service sequences visually, streamlining development.
• Scalability and reliability: Step Functions ensures your business-critical workflows are reliable and scale effortlessly.

Application integration on AWS architecture designed by Softweb

This architecture empowers seamless connections between the applications, leveraging the power of AWS services. Designed for security, scalability, and efficiency, it fosters a robust and adaptable foundation for the business ecosystem.
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Leverage AWS integration services for faster application development

AWS application integration helps businesses achieve more with their salient IT resources. If you’re looking to learn more AWS and its capabilities, you can hire our certified AWS experts to help you with your needs. Get in touch with us to start your project.
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Originally published at softwebsolutions.com on April 10, 2024.

So, I am running Bias FX 2 Elite on my HP Pavilion Laptop 15-eg0067st, which came with 12 GB of RAM and a 512 GB M.2 SSD for storage. I've noticed that sometimes, even when running in standalone mode, that I get artifacts in my tones, and other times, when I'm really jammin' and playing some heavier stuff the program will go from sounding really great, as it should, to just going off the wall, and getting ugly sounding, and at times will even cut the audio out all together.
I am curious as to what causes this. I guess it's also worth mentioning that I am plugging my guitar in to my Pavilion laptop via a Focusrite Scarlett 2i2 audio interface (firmware version 1605) . Sample rate is 44.1 kHz, with a buffer size of 128. My round-trip latency is 15.2ms - (666 samples), and I am in "safe mode". I am getting ready to upgrade my PC since I am going to already be opening it up in order to install a new fan, which it needs just because the original one isn't doing so hot, and I don't like my laptop getting too, well, hot.
I plan on installing a Crucial 32 GB RAM kit (which will consist of two 16 GB sticks), as well as a storage upgrade in the form of a Crucial 2TB M.2 PCle NVMe SSD. These upgrades will obviously work wonders for my trusty laptop (which is about 3 years old at this point in time, and has been a great PC, which I have not had a single issue/problem with throughout the entire time I've owned it thus far) from many different angles, one of the biggest improvements of which, I assume will be my performance when using multiple plug-ins while recording/tracking in Reaper, in which I always only use either Bias FX 2 Elite, or Amplitube as far as my plug-ins are concerned.
I am just wondering if these audio anomalies and such which are occurring as I am playing guitar, might be another item which I might expect to see some improvement upon once I have completed these fixes and upgrades. I learned very early on, that if one expects to be able to play using BIAS FX 2, without experiencing a noticeable amount of latency (or any other plug-in for that matter), that RAM is one's best friend. The more RAM one has, the better these programs will run. More seamlessly, and with less latency. So, I know that I will be improving my usage of BIAS FX 2 Elite, I am just curious as to which ways I might expect to see noticeable improvements, aside from the fact that I should be able to get round-trip latency way down, to a point where it will not be noticeable at all anymore, and more like playing on an actual amplifier.
It's definitely sweet to be able to jam using my computer as a means of amplification. But any considering taking this leap for themselves, who have not already, be warned, it is absolutely NOT, just as simple as purchasing a license, downloading some software, and BOOM, you're in the game! Unfortunately, there is a great deal more involved than that, the main thing being, the fact that regardless whether you are sporting a MAC, or a PC, either way, it must be a relatively powerful machine. Positive Grid's website states that a minimum of 8 GB of RAM is required to run BIAS FX 2. However, based upon personal experience, and the fact that almost all of us are going to have other programs and apps being put to use on our computers, other than just what is necessary to play our guitars - think, DAWs for example... because chances are, if you are interested in playing guitar on your MAC or PC, then you are almost certainly going to want to start doing some tracking/recording as well... and that's still just sticking to the guitar related stuff - , I would highly recommend investing in a desktop, or laptop with absolutely no less than 16 GB of RAM.

Hello all,
I've been planning for several months now to upgrade to the new Sony Xperia 1 VI, however today I found out during the announcement it isn't coming to the US (for now?)
I find myself in a bit of a limbo situation as I'm not sure now what I'd like to look at getting next. I've done various research on GMArena/PhoneArena/Kimovil but I'm not really 100% on anything and was hoping to get some help.
I'm primarily looking for a device that supports Hi-Res audio and LDAC. Any of the aptx codecs work for me as well, snapdragon sound and a 3.5mm jack would be icing on the cake but not necessarily deal breakers.
Looking for a flagship as performance is also important to me as well as a good amount of storage for locally downloading music files which are quite large due to the sound quality ( I have around 170gb of music on my phone currently)
Not concerned with camera quality or gimmicky AI features.
I've been using HTC and then Pixel devices exclusively since the HTC Incredible and I'm very much out of the loop on other brand offerings these days. My current device, the Pixel 7 Pro has been just ok for me and I've never really been in love with it. My girlfriend has the Pixel 8 Pro but has had nothing but issues with it, has had to get a replacement due to screen issues twice now so I'm not super pumped for the next Pixel 9 in October.
Thank you for any suggestions and I super appreciate the help!
Edit: I'm in the South East US and I'm currently on GoogleFi as my carrier.

Cross-posted from AOAIBetrayeds. AOAIBetrayeds is an online peer support group and safe space reserved for betrayed individuals who are considering, actively attempting to, or have reconciled after infidelity. If you feel you would benefit from a more private supportive sub for only betrayed people, message the mods at AOAIBetrayeds or send me a DM.
It's been 2 months since I posted an update so I think it is time.
Context: Me: 59m. Her: 55f. Married 33 years, together 36. WW had a full on EA bookended with multiple sexual PA's (1 in Dec, 2022 and 3 in Sept, 2023 (last 2 on Dday). She then pretended to go NC with AP for an additional 5 months which created Dday #2 in February. Read my story and updates using my profile for posts if you want to see background.
https://www.reddit.com/useDiscardbobulated/submitted/
NO ADVICE PLEASE: Just like last time I posted, and the time before that, I am processing all of this stuff, and working with my therapist and my support group closely, so I will ask for advice only when I think I need it and when I think I am ready to receive it. Right now, I just thought I’d post an update for those who might be following along or anyone for whom my story resonates. I hope you’re OK.
I can use reassurance. I have asked for no advice because I am all full-up with advice that I am taking and utilizing. More and/or different advice will potentially muddy my process and have my approach blurred. Reassurance though? Bring it on. We all need it. Sometimes directly and sometimes just by being here and reading the stories of others. Reassure me.
As many of you know, I was dealt a huge blow the day after Valentine’s Day. That’s 3 months ago today for those of you keeping track. My wife, with whom I was 5.5 months into ‘reconciliation’ with, came clean and told me that she was still in contact with her AP for the entirety of that span of time.
The revelation of The Big Lie as I refer to it now, even with my wife, was in incredibly damaging hit to the idea of reconciliation. It was as shattering, if not MORE shattering as the original affair revelation. Big lies, little lies, untruths, the masking of truth, the omission of truth…all are devastating to the traumatized betrayed. If you know anything of the effects of trauma (as most of you do I am sure), you know that each lie usually triggers a trauma response, and each trauma response piles into a vast storage area in your brain where it pools and stays ready to fuck you up every time it’s poked. And mine was poked A LOT in the last 3 months. A LOT.
I started the ‘last 3 months’ phase of this journey with this huge setback that was The Big Lie. It reset our progress to zero in some cases. If you look at some things, like my ability to control the PTSD events, then that progress was still in effect. (I was still able to recognize the PTSD event coming on and sometimes get control of it before spiraling out of control). If you look at the timeline of physical sexual events, that didn’t change. If you take into account all the books and articles read, all the podcasts and audiobooks listened to, and all the hours spend by me in IC, then then those items were (mostly) still intact.
But you know what was now absolutely fucking GONE?
~T R U S T~
I had spent that first 5.5 months learning to trust again as we were working our way through reconciliation. You can look back at my post history prior to February, 2024 and see a solid progression of trust being built, of confidence being regained, and of affection, sexuality, appreciation, and friendship being rebuilt.
ALL of that was 100% GONE in ONE moment. GONE.
LIES are destructive. Secondary Dday lies like this one are DEEPLY destructive.
Trust is often cited as the most important ingredient in a personal relationship. How can we even begin to consider something as gigantic as a marriage reconciliation when trust has been completely blown up? I don’t have an answer to that. I am looking for it.
You know what was also lost at the point of the revelation of The Big Lie?
Hope. Optimism. Self-esteem. Admiration. Lust. Attraction. Affection. All gone.
My feelings of these things were returning in slivers over those 5.5 months after Dday and now they were just GONE.
Replacing these feelings were different feelings I had. Now I was feeling: Helpless. Worthless. Inadequate. Unloved. Betrayed. Devastated. Like a Chump. Belittled. Emasculated. Unworthy. Ugly. Undesirable …and incredibly MANIPULATED.
She had spent this time manipulating me into complacency while she continued to carry on her affair in the form of regular communication with ‘her friend’ AP. They talked on the phone regularly, texted regularly. All the while she was putting forth what I THOUGHT was EFFORT into our reconciliation, but was really just a collection of actions that were meant to placate me.
The Fake R time, as I now know it, included: I love you’s. Hand holding. Sex. Apologies. Forward thinking. Plans. I was feeling like PROGRESS was happening. I was still experiencing the PTSD events. Still having times when I would lash out in anger at her for what she had done, but those awful things were decreasing in intensity and frequency and I was thankful for that.
I was able to see what reconciliation looks like.
Only I wasn’t. It was all a sham. Now that she is not in contact with him (I hope and believe), she has stopped the hand holding (mostly). Not one ‘I love you’ in the past 3 months. The hugs I used to get now feel like the hugs you’d give a kid with a scraped knee. The feeling of being wanted and being on a path to something better has been obliterated. And sex? 2-3 times a week during the Fake R has become 1 time in the last 3 months.
So now, after the revelation of The Big Lie I am left with a VERY odd feeling. A feeling like what I WANT BACK is the pre-Big-Lie actions. The ‘I Love You’s’, the hand holding, the sex…
But since I now know these as things that were done to manipulate me, I really DON’T want them back. What I want is something that I have not yet seen: An honest reconciliation and the actions that come with that. And now that my mind has suffered the mind-fuck rollercoaster of the last 8 months, I don’t even know what honest reconciliation looks like. My perception is fucked up. I no longer can think accurately about this stuff because of the gaslighting. It’s hard to even describe the feeling of disconnection with my own reality.
A METAMORPHOSIS The changes in how she was treating me now that she no longer has AP in her back pocket as a ‘friend’ to talk to are stark. She has expressed that the sex was just to placate me. That she can’t feel good about US anymore because she doesn’t have knowledge of how HE is doing anymore. She cannot “live her good life” with me because she doesn’t know if HE is able to “have a good life”. She is NO CONTACT with him, but clearly some of her still has a connection to him. That hurts.
During these last 3 months I have gone from non-functioning to confused to (almost) accepting. Along the way I have passed ANGRY, DEVASTATED, DEFEATED, and a hundred other negative emotions.
I also spent nearly all of my time doing what ALL us betrayeds do. I tried to get her to UNDERSTAND MY PAIN. I wanted her to really know what she has done to me. Not just what she did with the affair, but with the aftermath of the affair and the 5.5 months that I was trying to regain trust in her and she was faking R with me so that she could continue her EA with HIM. I was CONSTANTLY wanting her to HURT because I thought that if she could HURT like I HURT then she could understand my pain and come to really know what it is she has done. And if she could get to THAT place, then surely she would finally find the shame and guilt that I think she deserves to bear.
The problem is that even with all my effort to explain to her in words, in mental breakdowns, in PTSD trauma events, in triggers, sadness, crying and constant malaise, nothing was changing.
She wasn’t displaying any of the remorse, guilt and shame that I want from her. She wasn’t giving me any of the actions or words she was giving me during Fake R. She wasn’t holding my hand. She wasn’t saying I love you. She wasn’t touching me or having sex with me. She was just enduring my wrath.
During the last time that I sat with her and had a Q&A about how she could do this and all the same questions that I have asked before and my saying again how hurt I was and how it was ALL HER FAULT and how I thought she should feel SHAME I ended up feeling a little tranquil. I felt like maybe I had told her enough times. I didn’t know if she fully understood like I wanted her to but I thought that we were at a place where MORE of this was going to do NOTHING. After all, almost 3 months of it hadn’t YET produced anything, why would MORE have any potential for positive progress.
So I had a thought. What if I just treated her nicely? What if I stopped with the finger wagging and the name calling and the ‘why me’s’ and the angry lashing out. What if I instead tried to hold HER hand occasionally? What if I just WASN’T adversarial? Could that help? Could that get her to see me differently? Could that get ME to see me differently? Could that reset my mind and get me out of the victim moment and into some undefined type of recovery?
I wondered to myself if I had it in myself to let those things go. I wondered if I was CAPABLE of not being so fucking angry at her for what she had done. I mean, we both are clearly aware of what she has done and what it has caused in me, so I don’t have to restate that over and over and over again, DO I?
I took this question with me to IC.
IC reframed it in a way that resonated with me somehow. She said: “Look, you’ve spent a lot of time ‘spinning’, trying to make heads or tails of your predicament. Trying to get her to love you again. Trying to find connection with her. Why? Because you love her. Isn’t that the entire point? If you want to reconcile with her the end goal is for you to love one another again because you love her, right?” She said: “Why don’t you try showing her your true self? The self that loves her. The self that wants reconciliation because you love her. Maybe start with small things? Don’t go crazy and drive yourself nuts with a huge reversal from anger and hurt to loving and wonderful. Instead just don’t hurl negativity all the time. Relax instead. Act like reconciliation is under way in order to see if that action can initiate a real reaction.”
In other words, release the Restraining Bolt that keeps you in the stew of anger and contempt and head off to find a crazy old wizard and your path to freedom from the tyranny of self-pity.
Interesting.
This made SOME sense to me, and partly made sense to me because of the way I was FEELING. It would NOT have made sense to me 2 months ago, or even a week ago. It makes sense to me because of where I am NOW. A shift in gears from the anger and hatred to something more nurturing. Not a full tack. More of a subtle lane change. (sorry to mix my motoring and sailing metaphors).
So this is where I am now. I made the decision in my head to move over into this other lane. I did this less than 36 hours ago. I have not yet determined if this has been beneficial or not. I feel anxious. Of course I didn’t NOT feel anxious in that other lane, so this is a wash. I have not yet experienced any super-positive changes to my own attitude. I have no idea if she has even noticed. I hope she has and I intend to ask her if she has when we go see our marriage counselor today.
T I M E
My support group has told me that time is my friend. That only time will allow my wife to recognize that she truly is the villain in her own story. To have her really understand that SHE is the cause of all of this. For her to recognize also that her AP is not the needy ‘good guy’ that weaseled his way into her psyche, but the manipulative fuck that we all know he is. TIME. Time also for me to be able to release the anger like I have been attempting to do over the last couple days. Time for me to ponder how I can find my own self esteem again and really shed my feelings of inadequacy and ugliness (among others). Time for WW and I to possibly find some bonding time and make some memories that are not anger and sorrow and self pity and….
“She’s fast enough for you, old man.” I guess she is. That’s what they tell me. Essentially the theme of this slow-burn reconciliation thing. That if she is showing ANY progress, then that is the progress that we as betrayeds need to embrace. ANYTHING is “fast enough” because you cannot speed this process up. You will never do the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs. Not gonna happen. 1-5 years is what they say reconciliation takes for it to be complete if it makes it to complete. I have told myself to give it at least 3. My hope is that I will feel a shift from tentative to optimism at some point along the way and that will give my brain the jump to light speed that it needs for me to relax and feel safe again.
This ‘update’ doesn’t predict a future. I have no preconceived ideas about how this might pan out. I just thought that an update could be beneficial.
Beneficial to ME in my selfish need for some validation of where I am and what I’m going through. For ME to be able to try to get it all on ‘paper’ so that I can help myself try to understand where I am. For ME to see a progression, no matter how up-and-down it has been.
Beneficial for OTHERS who may have a story like mine or PARTIALLY like mine who will be able to see themselves in this writing and be able to feel less alone. Beneficial maybe to all of us who might have a Bad Motivator.
Thanks for reading, my fucked up comrades. Sorry you are here in this sub. It’s a truly shitty place to need to be. I appreciate all of you. Without this sub and the people in it I think I might literally not be around. Here’s to you and your futures. May you find some peace.
Fuck these affairs.

Part 1
Chicago, 2016. Flinn Gerald is doing his best to make it in the city. Born in Selma, Alabama, he has spent his entire life trying to escape the ever tightening grasp of his small town. But alas, he made it out and is adapting to life in the big city. With a big fancy corporate job, an endless supply of friends, an apartment with a stunning view of the lake, and great distance from his family, what more could he need? Well, there is a lot more (or less) that he needs, but of course that is a story for later.
On a typical Tuesday night at a bar, the regulars crowd in. Flinn is late, as usual, as he stayed late at work (again), but on his arrival, the cheers and hugs from all the friends make everyone forget of the regular inconvenience. Conversation ensued, starting with all the boring finance jargon, but as the drinks flowed, so did the conversation, moving away from work and more into life. This is what everyone preferred.
“Another round, anyone?” asked Raheem, enthusiastically. After a murmur of concurrence, he stood up to make his way up to the bar. “Flinn, care to lend a hand?”
Raheem Bartlett was Flinn’s college roommate and the first person he met outside of his hometown. The pair hit it off instantly despite having wildly different backgrounds. Even in their freshman year, the engineer and the finance major would get into all sorts of trouble together, but eventually they leveled out. Six years later, they still have each other’s backs just like day one.
The pair made their way up to the bar and waited to get the bartender's attention. “What's up with you, bro?” asked Raheem. “You’ve been seeming a bit off.”
“Oh, ya know. Work, life, everything kinda happens so fast. Work has been busy as of late, and the hours long.”
Seeming displeased by this answer, Raheem stared back in concern.
“Really, I’m fine… just long hours.”
“Back in school you’d pull back to back all-nighters and then still make it to a morning class. I find it hard to believe that the mighty Flinn would be so setback by ‘long hours’.”
Flinn took a moment to ponder, staring down at the bar covered in various stamps and postcards beneath the epoxy surface. “I guess, ya know, it's not all it was cracked up to be. I guess I had expected more.” Flinn had mostly dropped his accent, but occasionally it would still slip out.
Despite coming from a long line of mill workers (mostly paper) and farm hands who never ventured further than the Dallas county line, Flinn yearned to leave his small town and conquer the world from a young age. Coming from the poorest county in Alabama, his family always squashed his dreams, labeling them as impossible. But Flinn knew better. Or, at least he knew he could do better. Graduating top of his class a year early and winning a full-ride scholarship to Northwestern University, he had proved everyone wrong and set his own path. The path he was told was impossible became his reality.
“More what?”
“Nothing, really. I mean, what more is there? This is what I always wanted, right? The stable job in the city, never having to worry about money. It’s great, and I couldn’t be more grateful, but… something is missing. Doing the same thing day after day staring at a screen, moving clients money around. I… just hoped it would be more fulfilling, especially after all it took to get here.”
Before he could finish his thought, the bartender came up to take their order: another round for the table, plus a round of shots, plus two more shots.
“What am I saying, really?” added Flinn. “I shouldn’t be complaining. Look at where I am now compared to six years ago. So much has changed. My home, friends, even my diet. I just feel a bit off. Like I need something more to do..
“I get it, bro. Adjusting to your new life can be rough. Enjoy it for a minute or two.” Raheem slides a shot in front of Flinn. “Here, take this.”
Tuesday had become fairly consistent to this point for this group of misfits: Raheem and his girlfriend Amy; Jack; Jasper, from Flinn’s firm, and his wife Max; and of course, Flinn. For nearly two years, these six have been meeting at O’Malley’s every Tuesday night for drinks and trivia. Some nights are more wild than others, but Tuesday has become the staple of the week among them.
Drinks flowed pretty regularly and heavy over the next few hours as the clock approached the end of day. Still going round for round on alternating tabs, the useless debates began to heat up.
“You can’t seriously think Wicker Park is the best neighborhood outside the Loop. Y’all need to get out more,” said Flinn.
“Bro it’s obviously Wicker Park,” argued Raheem.” Right on the blue line, getting to O’Hare is insanely easy, plus you can’t find better music in the city. Besides, Wicker Park has Davenport’s.”
“No one ever says Wicker Park,” adds Jack. “Have you ever heard someone say Wicker Park before?”
“Dude, but you can obviously get to O’Hare from anywhere in the city,” said Flinn
“Sure, but beats walking through that dumb Block 37 Center transfer like you and your red line. No transfer is the way to go, plus the blue line gets you right to the center of the loop.”
“So does every other L line as long as ya don’t mind walking a few blocks!”
“You’re both wrong,” adds Max. “Neither matters because Midway is better anyways.”
“Woah!” the whole table murmurs, sharing shocked looks as if she just confessed to a crime. Flinn rolled his eyes at this notion.
“Who flies out of Midway?” asks Raheem.
“What? Less people, cheaper flights, and more space. Why wouldn’t I fly out of Midway?” said Max.
“Wait, wait, that aside,” interrupts Raheem, “can we go back to the fact that Jasper thinks Sheffield is the best neighborhood? I feel like we moved past that too quickly.”
The debate rages on for many more minutes, until Flinn, seemingly out of nowhere, had enough.
“Can y’all just shut the fuck up! Why does it even matter?” Everyone’s glance quickly shot over to Flinn as a deafening silence overtook the table. Everyone pondered how to respond, and couldn’t seem to find an answer. This behavior from Flinn was unexpected, nay, unheard of. Flinn was the most level headed amongst them by far. Not even Raheem, his best friend of six years, had ever seen him get angry, let alone over an inconsequential friendly argument. “I…” Not even Flinn knew what to say next. “I’m going to go home. Long day tomorrow.” Already on his feet, he quickly walked away from the table and out the door.”
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The walk home was fairly brisk, but Flinn had grown fond of the cold. He tucked his hands into his coat pocket and hunched his shoulders forward, only looking down at the pavement ignoring the mostly asleep but still wide awake city surrounding him. His thoughts ran wild and near out of control. Of course, his intoxication did not help with clarity, but the inner dialogue was deafening. Not even he knew what was bothering him, but he was obviously bothered, deeply. He made a fool of himself in a way he never had before, and right now he felt he did not recognize himself. Surely some sleep will help, right?
He slowly made his way down the steps to the platform, carefully watching each step as to not fall, to wait for his train. He posted up against a pillar and stared off onto the dark, empty tracks. What has gotten into me? He did his best to calm his racing, wasted mind searching for some legibility amongst his thoughts.
Once he finally got home, he slumped down on the couch and scarfed down some week-old sushi he found in the fridge. He turned on some old documentary and was asleep before he knew it.
Suddenly, he was woken up by his phone ringing. It usually does not ring this time of night and was less than thrilled to be woken, so he let it keep ringing. It stopped after a couple of seconds, and he glanced down at the screen:
Mama
(2) missed calls
Dad
(1) missed call
Now concerned, he calls his mom back in a hurry. “Hello?”
“Flinn? Your grandfather, he’s dead.”
Part 2
The wet air engulfed Flinn’s face as he stepped out the airport doors into a warm February day. Six years had passed since he smelled the Alabama air. Even after all this time, it still smells just as he had remembered as if not even a day had passed. The drive to Selma was another ninety minutes, and despite having five days to mentally prepare himself for his arrival, it was not nearly enough time. He had not seen or spoken to anyone from his town, not even family, since he left early that August morning all those years ago. He left everything behind to start his new life. The life so many told him to not start, that he needed to stay. He left anyway and never looked back.
That was, until now. He had little choice in this regard. He knew he would have to make his return someday, but he knew not when nor for what. But today was that day. Flinn and his grandfather (Pops) had always been close. If anyone had been supportive of him, it’d have been Pops, but he was a man of little words. Even when he could talk, he hardly chose to. He was a great listener, and not just because he could not speak. He showed he was engaged and listening no matter what Flinn had to say. At times, he felt Pops was the only one who understood him as if he had been just like him before, but no one would ever talk about his past. All Flinn knew is Pops lost his tongue after a failed lynching.
The familiarity of the scenery zipping past was bittersweet. He had not realized how much he missed the rolling hills and thick forests beneath the unforgiving southern sky. He kept his head pressed against the cool glass of the car window even through the constant bumps in the road. He couldn’t look away. So many memories happened here, and the closer he got, the more plentiful the memories became, and the more potent they were, and the more painful they’d become.
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As the dust settled behind him, he stood on the driveway staring at his childhood home still unsure how to process his emotions. It was all so overwhelming. He was thinking everything at once. He took a deep breath, rolled back his shoulders, and swallowed. He reached for the door handle, hesitating slightly, and took a step in. One foot, and then the next.
“Martin!” Flinn smiled as his old friend and childhood dog rushed towards him without hesitation. He knelt down and embraced him as Martin excitedly rustled through his arms seemingly showing more energy than he had in years.
He walked down the hall and around the corner into the living room. There, both drawn to the large television like moths to a flame, he saw his parents sitting beside one another on the couch watching some daytime program with their backs to him. They seemed to pay no notice to the commotion at the front door nor the loud creaking footsteps he took along the old wooden floors. They knew he was there; they just chose to ignore him. He walked into view to greet them. "Mama, dad." His father smiled slightly but caught himself and refrained.
Mama kept a straight face, but seemed to be fighting tears."Howard, help Flinn with his bags, dear."
“No, it's alright, I know where to take them,” said Flinn. “How are y’all?”
“Service is tomorrow at eleven down at the ole First Baptist Church. Make sure to wear something nice.”
“Alright, mama. I’ll... I’ll see you at dinner.”
“Whole family is coming tonight. Dinner is served at...”
“At seven, I got it, just as always.”
“It’s good to see you, kid.” said his dad. “Let me know if you need anything”
He did not expect things to go like that, not that he knew what to expect. He had hoped time would have been more forgiving. Perhaps leaving unannounced in the middle of the night was not the best plan, but at the time he felt as if he had no other choice. Everyone knew he was leaving. That was no secret and had not been for years before any plan had actually been set into motion. No one knew the date or time, except for Pops, of course, but he’d never tell. Of course he wanted everyone to know. He wanted everyone to be proud of him, but it was too big of a risk and commendations were too much to expect. Besides, Mama always had her schemes, and had she known, she would have found a way to stop him.
Not much had changed since he’d been here last. The old wood paneling still lined nearly all the walls, crack in some spots, replaced in others, but all coated by decades of cigarette soot. On the walls were a combination of family portraits from over the years and cheap artwork found at the flea market. Old green furniture, too many house plants to count, and a tacky themed kitchen, it was all still the same.
His childhood bedroom, however, was much different. Hardly even recognizable, what was once his bedroom was now a storage room filled with endless shelves and boxes. He set his things on the lonely cot in the corner, sat down, and took it all in.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not realizing he had drifted off, Flinn awoke and looked at the clock. 6:55. Convenient. He sat up and brushed his hair down with his hand as he suspected it was sticking up in the usual way. He rubbed his eyes and made his way to the dining room. The whole family was there, probably about twenty people or so, all scattered about throughout the kitchen, dining room, and living room engaged in various conversations. His nana, aunt, and Mama were cooking away putting the final touches on the large meal.
“Well if it isn’t this fucker…” said a familiar voice to his left, laughing. Flinn looked over to see his cousin who’s just a year younger than him.
“DeAndre, how are you?”
“Never thought I’d see you again, even since you left. Thought maybe you ‘ood be dead.”
“Nah,” Flinn laughed. “Still very much alive.”
“I can see dat. Wearin’ your fancy suit and all.”
“Yeah I’ve been doing pretty well. Work has been… good. I have a great job at a finance firm in Chicago. Everything has been… Good. Yeah, good. How about you?”
“Now you ain’t goin’ city on us, are you?”
Flinn laughed. “I think I might already be.”
Just as dinner was finishing up, a line started to form and people found a seat wherever they could, be it at the table, on the couch, near the counter, or outside.
“Flinn!” his dad called out. “I saved ya a seat here at the table, kid.”
Flinn took his seat right next to his dad which positioned him right across from Mama. The table could sit eight, and the seats filled in pretty quickly so he was lucky to get one. Besides his sister, all of the oldest family members took the other four chairs.
The dinner itself was mostly uneventful, except for the food of course which was extraordinary. Flinn had not eaten Mama’s cooking, or anything like it in six years. The southern food in Chicago was alright, but nothing like what you can get down here, and no restaurant is going to have the same quality and taste as a home-cooked meal. By God, he had not realized how much he needed this. It was almost healing, like a part of his soul had been lost and he found it once again. The last week had been incredibly overwhelming, and last Saturday he never foresaw being here now, but he was glad he was, regardless of the looming tension. All the stress from work and life back home in Chicago was now all gone. All he had to worry about was… oh yeah, the family drama. The dreaded interactions, what he had suppressed for so long, that had kept him up at night for years. All those long nights doing homework or anything else beside sleeping. They had not been by choice but rather necessity. He would have slept more if he could, and some of those nights he really needed to, but instead was kept motivated by the pain. The pain of knowing no matter what he did, no matter how successful in life he became, he would never be good enough for his family, good enough for Mama, because he left them.
If there ever was a time to clear his conscience and get everything out of the way, it would be today, or at least over the next couple of days. When else would he have the chance? Not that any of this had been planned, and his therapist would probably advise against it. She did not even know he was here. What would she have to say? Avoiding conflict has always been his choice. He has always been quiet, never been at the center of drama, but some things need to be said. Just, maybe not by him. If he waited long enough, perhaps they would come up on their own. So he decided to wait, but he knew time was limited and he could not wait forever.
“Mama, could you pass the butter?”
Mama just stared back at him. “Get ya own damn buttah, since ya can do everything else on ya own.”
Flinn stands up and reaches for the butter. “I can do everything myself, and I have. I hope you’re proud, Mama.”
“Proud? What do I have to be proud of?”
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe my job, my degree, everything I have been able to do to build a good life for myself.”
“I don hear anything worthy of praise.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, Mama.”
“Oh, so now you’re sorry? You could’ve fooled me. Is that how you felt when you left? Unbelievable.”
“I left because I had no other choice.”
“Oh don go lyin’ to me now. You did have a choice. You had a choice and you chose to leave us. You didn’t say goodbye, and you were just gone in the mornin’.”
“If I had not just left, you would’ve stopped me.”
“Cause you ain’t got no reason to go nowhere.”
“I had plenty of reasons to want to leave, and not because of you. I’ve always had dreams, Mama, ya know that. I’ve always been bigger than just this town.”
“Oh, so now you’re too good for us, city boy? Huh? I don wanna hear no more of it.”
“It wasn’t about that, Mama. Look at all I’ve been able to do.”
“I ain’t see nothin’. You never call and you never visit. How am I supposed to know what you been doin’?”
“I thought you didn’t want me coming around any more?”
“Well, you’ve got that right. Glad to see you still have some brains left.”
“Well excuse me. Maybe it's best if I leave again. Sorry I ain’t make you proud, Mama.” Flinn got up and left the table.
Part 3
Just as the early light began to peak through the blinds, Flinn was woken up by a firm knock at his door. “Flinn, may I come in? It's Uncle Terrence.”
Flinn sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Yep, come in.”
“How are you this morning, kid? Ya know, she’ll never admit it, but ya Mama missed ya.”
“I find it hard to believe.” Deep down Flinn knew it was true, but she was hard as a rock, and arrogant. She would always find a way to be right, even when she knew she was wrong, and she would never let you know she knew she was wrong.
“Well, we’re all proud of you, kid.” Flinn hated when Terrence and everyone called him kid. “Just wish yoo’d come around and see us every once in a while. I know ya busy with all the big city stuff and all.”
“I thought no one wanted anything to do with me any more?”
“At first, maybe, but I miss ya, kid. Ya know who missed ya most of all?”
“Pops?”
“Yes, of course. He always wanted to know about ya, every time I’d come round. He couldn’t call, but always wanted me to.”
“I should have called.”
“I think everyone wanted to call, but as time went on, it became harder and harder to push that button. It was already so hard at first, and only got harder.”
“I thought about everyone a lot, especially at first. Leaving was really hard, and I almost didn’t, but I always wanted more. I didn’t want to spend my whole life in this town, and if I had not left when I did I probably never would have. But it was still hard. I wanted to go home so many times, but I convinced myself no one wanted me here no more or that y’all would’ve said ‘I told ya so’ or sum bullshit. No one wanted me around any more and I had left, so I was stuck on the path I chose. And I’m happy, and I’ve done so much, but it’s never been easy.”
“Pops was a lot like you when he was your age. Set on leaving as quickly as he could. Things were different back then, not that they are any better now, but Hank... my brother… Pops, was just like you.”
“What changed?”
“Well, he never did. Just no one talks about it anymore. After what happened on that day, they blamed his behavior. Said he should’ve played it safe and he’d still have his tongue.”
“No one has ever told me the story.”
“And they won’t. It changed the whole family.”
“But you’ll tell me?”
“Only if you promise not to tell. I don need an earful from ya Mama.”
“I promise.”
“Hank couldn’t be confined to Selma, just like you. He joined the army right out of high school, and after he was done in Lebanon, he didn’t go straight home.”
“Where did he go?”
“Everywhere but here. He used the small amount of money he got from the army and went anywhere that would let him in. Across Europe, parts of Asia, Northern Africa, even parts of South America. Of course, a young black man traveling by himself at the time was challenging, but Hank could hold his own pretty well. He still ran into all sorts of trouble. He spent more nights in jail than he would have liked, but he would have done it all again if he could.”
“What happened when he got back?”
“He was much different, but for the better. He couldn’t wait to get back out there again. He had confidence like I had never seen before. That’s what got him in trouble not too long after.”
“How’d he lose his tongue? I’m guessing that is what changed everything.”
“When he got back, he got involved with a girl, I think her name was Susan. She was the mayor’s daughter. They snuck around for a while. Their relationship was not acceptable, especially to her father. If he found out, Hank would be in a lot of trouble, and of course eventually he did find out. He spent about a month in jail in just awful conditions even for the time. They didn’t have anything to hold him on so eventually they had to let him go. About a week after he got out, he was walking downtown and some guys grabbed him. He took him out to a field and tried to lynch him. Luckily, they failed and he survived, but they took his tongue as a warning. He was never the same after that. All of his confidence was gone, and of course he couldn’t speak no more.”
Flinn did not know how to respond. It all made sense now: why the family so desperately wanted him to stay, why they were so hurt by him leaving, and why they’d feared who he was becoming. They were all traumatized and wanted to protect him. They did not want him to suffer the same fate as Pops.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The funeral itself was fairly uneventful and went nearly as perfectly as expected. The church filled in with hardly any empty seats, tears were shed, and speeches were given. Pops touched the lives of almost everyone he met, and they came to show it. After the service was the reception, and yet again, the food was spectacular. Everyone got along just fine today and there was no more residual drama, at least for now. Today was Pops’ day.
After the reception, the family gathered back at Mama’s house for the reading of the will. Pops did not have many possessions, at least not of monetary value, but what he did have was meaningful in other ways. He was very clear on who he wanted to give off, and handpicked what would be most substantial to each person.
Everyone gathered around much as they did at dinner, and the lawyer began his reading:
I, Hank Gerald, a resident in the City of Selma, County of Dallas, State of Alabama, being of sound mind, not acting under duress or undue influence, and fully understanding the nature and extent of all my property and of this disposition thereof, hereby make, publish, and declare this document to be my Last Will and Testament, and hereby absolutely revoke any and all other wills and amendments previously made by me.
The reading went on for some time as there were many beneficiaries. Flinn began to daydream about what could be left for him. Flinn was not a very sentimental person, so trinkets and heirlooms paid him little interest. Perhaps his car, or maybe money. Something that will be useful to him.
To my dear brother, Terrence, I leave my 1964 Pontiac GTO and all tools and parts associated and necessary with/for the running and upkeep of the vehicle.
The further down the list he went, less was given, but this is to be expected. As the end of the list neared, Flinn began to wonder what would be left for him if anything at all. The will had been in order of age, to this point, so he should be up soon.
To my Granddaughter, Nia,...
Nia? She's younger than me… Flinn thought.
I leave her my grandmother’s locket containing a picture of my Grandfather before he left for the Great War. She looked at it everyday to keep the memory of him alive until he eventually returned to her alive.
How could he skip me? Perhaps I should have called, or never left. Flinn got lost in his own thoughts and barely paid attention to the rest of the will. He and Pops were so close, and he never imagined he would be taken out of the will. But that is my own fault, afterall. I left, and I never even care to call. He died, and I never even said goodbye.
Just as Flinn began to accept the consequences of his actions, they got to the last beneficiary listed in the will:
Finally, to my oldest Grandson, Flinn, who is more and more like me than I ever could have wished to have been, I leave my journal. I hope whenever you need the motivation, you read it to find the meaning you are looking for in life.
Part 4
Flinn sat at his desk unable to focus. It was fairly slow for a Friday, but he still had work to do. After a chaotic weekend back home in Alabama, he was ready to settle back into his monotonous routine. The experience had been healing in some regards, but still left a lot unanswered. What did he mean by finding the meaning in life? Flinn wondered as he flipped through the endless pages of Pops’ journal, all filled with endless recounts, drawings, symbols, and pictures from his travels, just as he had since Monday. The journal consumed his whole attention, and nothing else seemed important enough to focus on. He had even ditched his friends all week which he never does.
He is supposed to meet Raheem for drinks tonight, but now he is wondering if he even wants to go. There is just too much in his head right now. He just wants to be alone. 12:37. The clock is moving too slowly. Flinn clears his calendar for the rest of the day and decides to go home.
At home, he still finds himself flipping through the pages of the journal, not even reading them but just looking at them. Again and again, he flips through until he has enough. He drops the journal on his lap and stares off into the distance at the gorgeous view of Lake Michigan. The endless city and skyline take up most of the horizon until it just stops, cut off by the endless ocean-like lake. He stares at it for quite a while until something catches his eye. He has seen this before. Well, of course he has. He lives here and this is his view everyday. But he knows he has seen it somewhere else.
He picks the journal back up and flips through in a hurry. There it is. He holds the journal up to the window to show a matching two-page drawing of this exact view. Well, not exact. It is a slightly different angle, but it was close enough. Pops was here. He would have loved visiting. I should have invited him. This made Flinn sad, and he threw the journal down on the table in frustration.
Just then, that is when he noticed it. There was a page sticking out from the journal, but it was not like the rest. The page was white and pristine, aside from a few wrinkles, as if it was new, whereas the rest of the journal showed its age. He rushed over to grab it. He opened it to find a letter, addressed to him:
Grandson, When you left, I knew that you would accomplish everything you set out to do. I also knew, however, you would find yourself lost someday, returning home for answers. I was hoping I’d be able to give you those answers myself, but as time goes on that seems less likely. I too found myself lost, and I knew not why. I had gone and seen the world, and it changed me, but I was still not fulfilled. I came home still looking for the answers, and it took a while, but eventually I did find them.
Through this journal, I hope to share my findings so that you too, when you are lost, find the answers you seek. Whenever you are ready, follow my journey and the clues I have left for you. Go out and see the world, just as I did. You will find that what you want from life is less than what you expect.
I hope the experiences you have are less harsh than my own, but still be careful. The world has changed a lot, but still not enough. But don’t skip ahead for the meaning may be lost. Take only one step at a time, and when it comes time to take the next step, it will reveal itself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Seven o’clock rolls around and Flinn walks into the bar to meet Raheem. He hasn’t seen Raheem, or anyone else from the group, since last Tuesday when he had his outburst. He begins by telling the story of the events of this last weekend, but leaves out the parts about Pops’ past.
"Pops left me a hidden letter.”
“What do you mean?” asked Raheem.
“Like in his journal, I found a hidden letter. It was addressed to me.”
“What did it say, bro?”
“He says he was a lot like me when he was my age. He wants me to go where he went and learn what he did.”
“In Alabama?”
“No, everywhere but there. He wants me to start in Western Europe and follow his clues around the world.”
“He traveled?”
“A lot, apparently. I never knew. He was in the army, and after he got out, he traveled… everywhere, basically.”
“Why did no one tell you?”
“They wanted to keep me safe, I guess.
"They wanted to keep the whole family safe after what happened to him.”
“What do you mean, bro. What happened?”
“I can’t talk about it, but it doesn’t matter now anyways. I’m living a different life now.” Flinn never shared much about his past or his family with anyone, not even Raheem. It has always been a mystery. This was the most he had ever shared with him.
“Well, are you going to go?”
“No, I can’t. I have work. It took too much to get here. I can’t just give it away.”
“It’ll still be here when you get back, bro.”
“If only it was that simple.”
“It can be. You have money saved up. Chicago isn’t going anywhere. We’re not going anywhere. Plus, you’ve always talked about traveling more. Why don’t you take some time to do it.”
“I suppose, but I like my life here.”
“If you don’t do it now, when will you? You’ve taken a leap before, why not take another one. You’re smart, you’ll land on your feet, bro. Besides, your grandfather thought it was important enough to not only give you his journal, but hide you a letter for you to find when you needed it most. Maybe now is when you needed it most. You’re way too stressed at work anyways, and I can tell you’ve been off for a while now. Perhaps some change could give you what you need.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On Monday morning, when Flinn gets to work, he walked straight to his boss's office. He turned in his letter of resignation.
Two weeks later, he took the red line to the blue line to O’Hare. Journal in hand, he boarded a flight to Dublin.

Yo. Im somewhat an anime fan and right now im absolutely hooked with naruto. Im almost done with 100 episodes and 400 more to go. Due to some financial struggles i faced i can no longer afford a proper data plan to complete downloading the whole thing nor my telegram is responding well for my download attempts since i can't pay for my netflix anymore either. This is to see if anyone has the entirety of shippuden downloaded in their pcs or something above 720p withing colombo? Please pm me if so😭 yall helping a desperate brother out. I'll come anywhere to put it into my phone internal storage via usb🫠

Hi all! I have been researching parts for my first ever PC and I was hoping to get some suggestions for my build. I have absolutely no clue what I'm doing, but I have a friend that is going to help me put it together. Any help would be greatly appreciated!
1. What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using: Gaming + Adobe Creative Suite for work-related projects (I have been wrestling with Photoshop on my laptop for years and I just want my Adobe programs to run smoothly). I am also considering playing around with PNGTuber Plus. Games include Persona 3 Reload, BG3, Genshin/HSR, nothing too intensive but I would like to have the opportunity to get into more advanced games!
2. What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes: Max would be $2000-$2500!
3. When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy: As soon as I have all the parts bought I want to get started!
4. What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc\): Tower & OS mainly. I have a monitor that isn't great but it will do for the time being!
5. Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location: US, DFW area specifically. Microcenter is available for sure!
6. If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated: My monitor is from Dell and my keyboard/mouse are from Amazon. I will probably change them out once the build is done and I know what I really want to replace. Any suggestions are welcome!
7. Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU: Not at the moment!
8. Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc): I mainly want a lot of storage and for the PC to run smoothly with all the programs I use.
9. Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components: Not really! LED lights would be sick but it's not a dealbreaker. Something clean and sleek would be nice but I don't really have a color preference.
10. Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference: Yes, and I don't have a preference - whatever you all think will work best will work for me!
11. Extra info or particulars: My friend that's helping me build recommended that I don't use a water-cooled PC for my first, so a lot of good airflow is another plus. Something easy to clean out because I have cats that shed quite a bit! Also any cable management suggestions would be wonderful as my desk is currently a mess.
Thank you for the help in advance! I'm super excited to get started and learn about the process :)

I have the 100 GB basic plan, over the last couple of days I noticed my data count in storage increased from about 39.6 GB to 43.9 GB without any cause I can identify. The increase seems all added to Photos but during this time I have taken maybe 4 photos and saved one Memories video, can be no more than about 20 MB maximum. I have a Pixel 7 and this occurred I think across the May update. Is storage sometimes reordered in some way that might have caused this, if anyone has encountered similar or could shed some light I would be grateful - thanks.

In 2023, amidst a fierce price war among suppliers and a fragmented competitive landscape, the domestic energy storage companies find themselves heavily reliant on mandatory policy installations. Concerns about future development loom large among market participants, prompting a swift pivot towards overseas expansion.
But why the sudden surge in interest in foreign markets? The answer lies in the fact that domestic companies are encountering developmental roadblocks, compelling leading manufacturers to prioritize expansion abroad. In this article, TrendForce will delve into the challenges and opportunities facing China's energy storage industry as it ventures into the lucrative U.S. market, shedding light on the strategies and hurdles involved in this global endeavor.
Lithium-battery Industrial Chain Highlights in China
China stands out in the global lithium-ion battery supply chain, boasting distinct advantages. From cathodes and anodes to electrolytes, diaphragms, and batteries, China boasts a comprehensive industry chain for lithium-ion batteries.
Conversely, the United States grapples with insufficient local battery supply, relying heavily on the global supply chain to meet its energy storage system needs over the long term. As local demand surges, the United States has emerged as a primary destination for battery manufacturers to export their products.
Since the IRA Act came into effect, storage battery companies worldwide have ramped up their efforts to build new battery capacity in the United States. However, Japanese and Korean companies predominantly focus on producing ternary batteries. Many of their lithium-ion battery plants in the U.S., either under construction or already operational, specialize in ternary power batteries.
As mentioned earlier, China boasts a complete industrial chain. However, due to its advanced supply chain and fierce market competition, the average price of China's ESS is lower than that in Europe and the U.S. Consequently, in the United States, expanding local battery capacity in the short term poses challenges. Nonetheless, aided by U.S. subsidy policies and transport cost considerations, China's energy storage system products remain highly competitive in the U.S. market.
Wood Mackenzie anticipates that the capacity of energy storage batteries in the United States falls short of meeting the demands of its energy storage market. Moreover, the IRA Act mandates certain requirements, such as localizing key minerals and battery modules, to qualify for electric vehicle subsidies. However, there are no specific provisions regarding the ESS supply chain in the IRA Act. As a result, in the short term, ESS systems reliant on lithium iron phosphate will heavily depend on the global supply chain, particularly on China's supply of lithium iron phosphate batteries.
Chinese battery manufacturers continue to lead the way in global energy storage battery shipments. According to data released by SNE Research, an international battery market research institution, on March 11, 2024, Chinese companies maintained their dominance in global energy storage battery shipments throughout 2023. The data reveals that global energy storage battery shipments in 2023 totaled 185GWh, with the top five spots occupied by Chinese companies: CATL, BYD, EVE Battery, REPT, and Hithium.
In 2023, the global energy storage market continued to be dominated by China, North America, and Europe. Demand for energy storage batteries in North America and Europe reached 55GWh and 23GWh respectively, accounting for 30% and 12% of the market share. Meanwhile, the Chinese market saw demand soar to 84GWh, securing a commanding 45% market share.
Currently, Electrochemical Storage Systems (ESS) remain unaffected by the Foreign Entity of Concern (FEOC) regulations in the IRA Act. This implies that the U.S. has yet to impose restrictions on imports of energy storage batteries from China. Consequently, Chinese manufacturers still hold sway in both the U.S. and European markets. With the U.S. electrochemical energy storage market witnessing robust growth and China's lithium-ion battery industry boasting superior scale and technological prowess globally, manufacturers stand to gain significantly by tapping into high-value segments of the industry chain and leveraging advanced technologies.
Regarding ESS, according to data from CNESA, the top five companies in global ESS shipments for 2023 are Sungrow, CRRC Zhuzhou, Hyperstrong, Narada Power, and Envision Energy. Chinese energy storage system integrators are rapidly expanding into overseas markets, aiming to cater to diverse scenarios and enhance their presence across multiple global markets.
As capacity continues to grow, Chinese energy storage enterprises are increasingly targeting overseas markets. Energy transformation and green development represent inevitable trends in global economic progress, with the new energy industry in various countries and regions experiencing rapid expansion. Consequently, the potential for growth in overseas markets is virtually limitless.
Furthermore, Chinese battery companies lead the way in technology, production capacity, scale, and various other aspects. Their integrated industry chain and cost advantage serve as crucial assets, with relevant enterprises actively promoting research and development in battery technologies and strategic planning. Consequently, their competitiveness in the international market is steadily increasing.
Looking ahead, China, the United States, and Europe will remain the world's most significant regional markets for energy storage. Leveraging advantages such as the introduction of new technologies, cost efficiency, diverse product application scenarios, and expanding overseas markets, Chinese energy storage enterprises can enhance their global competitiveness.

Old laptop stopped working, but as of now I have a really limited budget (I mean this, the 15-20 k would be perfect, maximum can do 30k if really needed) as a student. I would be using it for mainly watching study lectures, writing, editing images and some slight coding. Would a Chromebook suffice for this? I do also have plans on learning some softwares like blender in the near future.
Or should I wait, save up and just directly get a laptop? From my experience, 15-20k is a good range for chromebooks whereas for laptops it's at least 40k if I don't want to compromise on the speed.
I mainly use Google drive and docs for saving stuff so storage isn't a huge deal. Might need to download large files once in a while.
I am also a tech noob so not sure about what features to look for when making the purchase. Any recommendations and advices would be largely appreciated

I have owned a 15pm for the last month now and in that time I have essentially been unable to use wifi on the phone. On my pc which is running the exact same network I am getting 500+ download however on the 15pm its consistently lower than 10mbps. I don't understand what's going on and I'm tempted to return the phone at this point. I have reset the network settings, checked VPN ( I don't have one ) checked if my router is dual band and used both 2.4ghz and 5ghz and nothing. I have disabled IP tracking protection literally everything at this point and again..... same issue. My mother and fathers iPhone 12 and 13 both achieve 500+ easily on the home wifi network. I have tried WiFi in work and again its impossible to use. colleague with a samsung S23 ultra getting high speed and I am unable to even open an Instagram page and am getting 0.67 download IF EVEN the speedtest app will load. Phone is running latest IOS 17.5 now since today and update has done nothing to fix issue.
Can anyone shed some light here , has there been something I have missed ?? My phone is a physical SIM not e-sim and apple themselves have been useless in support just insisting i try the exact same steps over and over and over. Im tied to using my mobile data with this phone and chewing my data plan because of this so any help is appreciated.

So this is a long one. Like, I'm going back over it and damn. This is longer than I thought it would be. Throwaway account, I've only made one other post to this relating to what's going on. Instead of updating the other post, I figured I'd make a separate one about the whole shit show I experienced, and the shit circus I uncovered and avoided. I'll try to keep this in as chronological an order as I can.
As the title says, my abusive/narc mom and pos/delusional/golden child brother started trying to reach out to me a few months ago wanting to make amends and build bridges with me again. There were a few people that commented on my previous post in another subreddit that may be a little disappointed in me for how I handled this, and a few that might enjoy that I handled it the way I did. Someone commented to not let them use my good nature. My nature is dependent on who I'm dealing with, and when it comes to that side of my family, I'm more stick than carrot. So their attempts did not go ignored, and did not go unpunished.
Growing up, I was always closer with my Dad than my mom. My brother was the epitome of "pampered mamma's boy". He started having seizures as a child and was diagnosed with epilepsy, which I thought was why my mom babied the absolute fuck out of him long into adulthood. He would go a year or 2 without any seizures, and then there would be a few months where he'd be having them every other day. At Anytime he got in trouble at home or school, my mom would find a way to blame me, for not making sure he knew whatever he was doing would get him in trouble, or she would blame my dad for not being "involved enough in their baby's life." My dad was in the Navy and I remember any time he'd deploy, I'd dread every day until he came back. My brother would taunt me that he knew whatever he did, I'd be the one to get in trouble for it. My dad would always make things up for me when he got back from his deployments though. We'd often have weekend trips just the 2 of us. And then around my 12th birthday, my mom insisted on sitting us all down and explain to that she and my dad were getting a divorce. We got the whole talk about how they still love us and they just can't be together anymore, etc. my dad told us both that he still loved us and he would be there for us whenever we needed him. He explained that he would be moving out, but he would be by to pick us up to spend the weekends with us. I was nervous and honestly scared of what it would be like without him. But I was looking forward to the weekend when I got to see him again. That never happened though, and that was the last time I ever got to see him.
Right before his weekend with us, my mom explained to us that my dad didn't want anything to do with us anymore. There was some news story about a father that killed his kids when he had custody of them and she used that to terrify my brother and convince him that our dad wanted to kill us to start his life over. We left damn near everything behind and moved in with my mom's brother in Florida (from Virginia) a couple days before my dad was supposed to come get us. After that, she went to great lengths to make sure we had no contact from him.
Years went on, my mom seemed more indifferent towards me than ever. She never seemed interested in anything I did unless my brother also seemed interested in it. She didn't show any interest in my wanting to learn guitar until my brother also showed interest in it. Then we got one guitar that we had to share, I'd take lessons on the condition that I taught my brother whatever I learned in them. My brother eventually wound up breaking the guitar and I was blamed for not storing it in the case it came with. I had to share my N64 with him whenever he wanted to play it. I was playing perfect dark one day and having a hard time killing the skedar leader at the end of the game. My brother burst into the room saying he wanted to play his MegaMan game, to which I just replied "give me a minute, this boss fight is hard, once I'm done you can have your turn" He didn't like that. He left the room and came back with a hammer and smashed the console while I was still playing. My fault for not letting him play it. The only thing I had that he could not use was a pair of roller blades my aunt got me for my 14th birthday. I specifically asked for roller blades to get around instead of a bike because my brother and I had different shoe sizes, so he couldn't wear them Because of constant shit like that, I never really put much value in having things growing up. I didnt want to buy something or get something as a gift just to have it fucked up in a few weeks or months. At some point, my "little" brother became the larger one, so my clothes all became "hand-me-ups" as he outgrew everything. So, because I didn't really have any distractions at home, I turned into a high achieving student, rarely got in trouble. made the honor roll all throughout school. But that wasn't something to celebrate as it was expected of me. I had long since decided that I was moving out as soon as I could once I turn 18. I got a job working at a Walgreens as soon as I could and started saving up for a car. My mom however took issue with this and would never agree to take me looking for one and absolutely refused to ever have it put on her insurance. This is where my Aunt comes in. She and her son are the only 2 on my mom's side that aren't some sort of degenerate. She had her son young, but put herself through college while raising him alone and eventually got her MBA and a cushy upper corporate job. She told me to tell my mom I had to go in to work on one of my days off, that she would pick me up and she would take me car shopping. So that's what we did. I couldn't quite afford a cash car, but she helped me with the financing. I put down what I had as the down payment, the arrangement she made with me was that 1- as long as I was in school, she would cover the insurance and payments for me, however, if I got into an accident, I was responsible for paying the deductable. And 2- as long as i was living with my mom, the car remained in her (Aunt's) name. And if anything happened to it, to let her know so she could get the appropriate authorities involved. My mom was PISSED when she found out I now had a car. Her reasoning (that she said in front of my aunt) was that she didn't think it was fair for one of us-either me or my brother- to have something the other couldn't use. Due to him being 13 and having epilepsy, he couldn't drive, so why should i have a car if my brother doesn't? That turned into a long shouting match between my mom and Aunt that basically ended with my aunt explaining that since it was her car, and all paperwork on her name, I was just on the insurance for it so I could drive it. But if anything at all happened to it while I was living at my Mom's, that the police and insurance companies would get involved. My mom still kept track of all the miles on the car to "make sure I was only going to work and school and wherever she told me I could go". Most of the time, when I hung out with friends, I wasn't the one driving. From that that point though, my mindset was very much "keep my head down and nose clean until I can leave." I graduated a month before my 18th birthday. After graduation, my mom and i got into an argument about me contributing to her bills. I eventually dropped the ball that I planned on getting back in touch with my Dad and leaving. She started laughing. Something about that laugh made me really uncomfortable. She then said "well, you can certainly meet up with him whenever you want! I'll supply the gun if you buy the bullet!" And told me my dad had died when I was 15. That. Fucking. Broke. Me. Later that night, i called my best friend and vented everything to him. He was in the DEP program for the Navy and would be shipping out in a few months, he told me to come by first thing in the morning and talk with him and his parents about the whole situation. I basically packed up all of my clothes and left the day after my 18th birthday. I just left my house key and a note that said "I'm not your problem anymore." I couch surfed for a little while until after my best friend left for boot camp, then I was able to move in and live with his parents (chosen parents basically). My only real rules were keep the house and my space clean and make sure I had a job and/or going to school. I spent a few months mourning my dad and kind of in a haze. Since he was in the Navy though, that meant I was reliable for financial aid for school. My second dad helped me get everything put together to start receiving that so I could start college.
Well, after a couple years of this, my brother, who had spent his time at school more as "forced socializing" instead of learning, was expelled from public schools for allegedly setting off a fire extinguisher in a classroom. He had to enroll at an alternative school called "the drop back-in academy" that was specifically for dropouts or anyone that got the boot from the public school system. My mom reached out to me and asked me if I would drive him to this school in the mornings, she'd pick him up in the afternoons, and she'd pay me $20 a week.I agreed to it thinking this was out of character for her, but she surprisingly held up to that agreement. I drove him for a couple years until I was ready to start my bachelor program. My second parents were getting ready to move back to their hometown and I was going to start school on the other side of the city. So, I was moving to that side of town and couldn't really drive out of my way to pick up and drop off my brother anymore. He continued his enrollment at this place for another 3 years (5 years total) and it turned out, he was never attending. I would drop his ass off there every day and he'd just walk home immediately after I pulled out of the parking lot. He'd just tell my mom that he finished his work early and decided to walk home instead of wait around for her. One afternoon, I'm coming home early from work and my brother is just sitting on the steps to my studio apartment. He tells me that he and our mom got into a really big argument and he needs a place to stay. I (reluctantly) let him in. I'm stuck thinking he must be really desperate if he's coming to me for help. But I start thinking at this point, he's 24, jobless, and probably needs to learn some self discipline and responsibility, and our mom just never did that for him. So I try to help. I ask him what their fight was about and he tells me that he started dating this girl at his alternative school. She was 21 and got the boot from the school system for being too old to attend (we actually have several relatives that were kicked out of the school system for the same reason) and that he accidentally got her pregnant and our mom did not take kindly to that. I called my landlord and explained the situation to him. He was okay with it, so I let him crash on my couch for a little bit (until the end of my lease, then I'd be moving) and just told him to clean up after himself, take care of himself, etc until we could all work this out. He crashed there for a few months and did Jack shit. He would complain that I didn't have a computer for him to use (I only had a laptop I bought for school) and I didn't have any video game consoles for him to entertain himself with. So he was stuck there bored all day. I got tired of the complaining and lack of effort and told him he had to go back to our mom's if he wasn't going to be an adult. We started shouting at each other until he dropped this little bombshell. He yelled "I can't go back to Mom's!" And when I asked why, he just blurted out "because it's to close to that elementary school!" That stopped the whole thing. "And why is that a big deal now?" I asked him. I already knew why that would be the problem, but 1% of me was holding onto the hope that he was got jumped by a gang of 5th graders and the trauma was too much for him to bear. I told him he could either tell me what's going on, or I could make a phone call and get every last detail I needed. He confessed that he had been leaving that school and going over to his "girlfriend's" house and waiting for her to get home. And that one day, her mom ended up catching them in the act. I explained to him that he was leaving out important details if that was the reason he couldn't be near a school.
He told me she was 14, not 21. I. Lost. My. Shit. Everything after that is kinda fuzzy, but he was arrested, mom posted bail, and since she lived right around the corner from an elementary school, he couldn't stay there. So they told his parole officer that he'd be staying at my address until his court date.. his PO had swung by a couple times, but I was always either at work or school or out somewhere. At this point, I told him the lease was up in 6 weeks, I couldn't stand to be around him. I packed my stuff early, moved out into a storage unit, and I stayed at an extended stay hotel until it was time for me to move. Called my landlord and told him what was going on, and if my brother was still there the last week of the lease, nail him for trespassing. My landlord was a good guy. I never had any problems with him. I paid up the last 6 weeks and threw him since extra cash for his troubles as I knew I wouldn't be getting my deposit back. That was the last time I saw my brother. After I moved out of state, I cut all contact with everyone in that family except my Aunt who was the only one that ever helped me out or even had my back. But even then, it was just through email. We'd mainly email birthday and holiday wishes to each other. Updates from my side on how life and career are going.
I never had a myspace or a Facebook growing up. I either never had a computer to check it on, or I was just so accustomed to not having any online distractions that I just never got around to making one. I did finally make a Facebook and I did get in touch with my dad's side of the family and reconnected with them. I hadn't seem most of them since I was 4 or 5. Some of them had been in contact with my brother (he fucking knew our dad died) and was spinning some sort of web about how he graduated high school early, had gone to college for pre-med and then got some sort of full ride scholarship to some prestigious medical school in Florida. He told them I wasn't on social media because I had been arrested for selling drugs and that he was taking me in after I got released. He was also using my senior portrait as a profile pic. They were surprised when they saw me and how I "looked just like my brother!" I had set the record straight. They looked dumbfounded when I told them that he couldn't get himself out of the 9th grade in 10 years, and now would likely never complete his high school journey due to the fact he can't be within 100 yards of a school.
So, fast forward to last week. I checked my email for the first time since late January (for my aunt's birthday) and noticed a few from her saying my mom wanted to reach out, then several emails from a new address. It was my mom's first initial and last name. Subject lines usually read "please respond" and "let me know you're okay" and stuff like that. I'd copy some of them over, but holy shit this is already a novella. Basically she got my email address from sneaking my aunt's phone (aunt did not sell me out). She's trying to apologize for how she treated me growing up and trying to excuse it by saying I reminded her of my dad and then she was going through menopause and just any excuse to dishes full accountability it seems. She acknowledges that it was wrong to hold me accountable for my brother's fuck-ups but dismisses that by saying he didn't know any better and she needed me to be a good role model for him. Things have been hard for her since I left, since she "had" to take my brother back in (I would've left him on the street or in jail), she had to sell her house (she was only 10 years into her mortgage) and buy another smaller one further from a school for him. He never did get a hs diploma or GED because how can he? And she's been going through breast cancer treatment for the last several months and just doesn't have the energy to take care of her 33yo baby anymore. She asked me if I lived close enough to them to take him in for a little bit while she focuses on her health. I left Florida 8 years ago and haven't even lived in the same time zone in 6 years. She can only check her email at work since she no longer has Internet at home. She had to cancel her home Internet service because of him. So, I decided to just put my brother's name into a search bar and the first thing that pops up is a FDLE sex offender's page. And holy shit has he gone downhill. He had a second arrest when he was 27 for the same thing, and then was caught in communications with another girl (like Chris Hansen sting) and was released from prison at the beginning of the year. And the mugshot.... You know the pale lady from the scary stories to tell in the dark movie? Think that, but with a patchy beard. Beady eyes, bad skin and all. According to the sheriff's office inmate search, he's been arrested 5 times in the last 10 years. Twice for lewd and lascivious battery of a minor (aged 12-15), once for solicitation of a minor, and twice for probation violations.
The TL/DR: abusive mom took all her frustrations out on me, blamed me for everything my brother did, hid my father's death from me until I was almost 18, and reaches out after 8 years of no contact and wants me to take care of her pedophile son while she's in poor health.
I'm attaching my response to her below.
Hi. I'm alive. I'm well. I'm also not okay with you contacting me, especially under the circumstances that you violated the privacy of your own sister to get my contact information. I have read your apologies and excuses and I do not accept either. You say I reminded you of Dad? He spent more time with me and showed more interest in my well-being than you ever did, and that's including the 6 years he was absent from my life by your own selfish design. Menopause? I find that hard to believe as this went on for the better part of half a decade and not once in that time did your attitude towards brother change. You always treated him with the same coddling infantile obsession and patience that one would show a toddler. It was and is clear that you have a preferred child as that adult-sized pile of shit is still living comfortably with dear old mama. I'm guessing no one else is willing to take him in? Are Uncle and Cousins afraid of him doing something to their daughters or grandchildren? I do believe you when you say you want to rebuild the bridge that you nuked from orbit years ago, but I can't believe it's not for your own selfish desires. And I can't find any reason or way my quality of life could be improved with your presence. The reality is, my life has been far better without you than it could be with you. I've never said this to anyone, but if there is a sense of karma and balance in the universe, your current situation is proof of that. The next time I see your name on my computer screen, had better be for your obituary. But since you and the monster you raised both decided to keep Dad's death a secret from me, and remove any choice I had to mourn or pay my respects, I'll return that kindness to you.
Please die away from me.

Subletting Private room + bathroom in East Point for end of May/beginning of June to October
Hello everyone! I’m still looking for someone who is interested in subletting my room in East Point. The rental is a residential home in a quiet neighborhood. Move in end of May or beginning of June with a possibility to renew, if you so choose, in October. Prioritizing QTBIPOC but all queer people are welcome! The room is $700 a month + utilities. Utilities are typically $120-170 a month. The bedroom has a lot of natural lighting and a private bathroom w/ a tub. The house is a 3bd, 2br with everything on the main floor. If you have any accessibility concerns, I’d like to mention there are like 3 steps leading to the front door and the hallway leading to the rooms is a bit narrow. The house has an open floor plan that leads into the living room followed by the dining room, ending with the gorgeous kitchen. There is plenty of storage under the house. There are two storage rooms and one includes a little work bench. In the back is a large deck with stairs leading down to the fenced in backyard. There’s a large shed in the back that has a bit of overgrowth on it. Could be someone’s passion project if you plan to stay awhile. Pictures of the room can be sent upon request as I’m in the process of packing. DM if you’re interested and have more questions!

Estimating what you need resource wise to move is hard. We just finished our 6th move in 8 years and still have trouble. I figured I’d make a quick post with some lessons learned and what it required - hopefully someone might find it useful in the future.
The House - Phoenix, AZ, USA - 1850 sq ft 3 bed/2 bath house - Modest master bedroom, a toddler room, and an office - 1 couch, couple arm chairs, 6 seat dining table, and half a dozen other pieces of furniture - Small outdoor shed and a wall’s worth of storage in the garage - Washer and dryer.
The Packing - Around 120 boxes (didn’t keep exact count - sorry) split roughly equally between small, medium, and large. Paid $85 for 100ish used boxes and left over packing materials from Facebook Marketplace. No fancy boxes. Just cut some down to fit awkward items - 14 rolls of good quality packing tape (cheap stuff is not worth it) - 5 Costco rolls of plastic wrap (2-3 layers of wrap on all important furniture) - 1 Costco roll of tissue paper for breakable items - 1 large roll of bubble wrap
The Moving - Ordered 4 U-Haul self-load storage pods (5w x 8l x 7h). U-Haul’s online estimator and the 2 reps I spoke to were both wrong on the estimate - we needed about 5.5 pods. Plus they come with a TON of moving blankets that take up 1/3 of a unit (total for all 4 pods) - Cost $50/pod/month plus insurance and a $99 delivery fee on both ends. Storage is payed per month no prorating - Paid professional moving company $300 to load the pods (and another $300 to unload in a few weeks). It took 2 guys about 3 hours to load 4 pods - Additional 5x8 conditioned storage unit for temp sensitive or breakable large items. About $100/month plus lock and application fee. - Total cost for move with 5 weeks of storage is around $2000
Lessons Learned - Don’t be stingy with the packing materials. Similar sized boxes are a lot easier to pack. You’ll use way less good quality tape than the cheap stuff. - Over estimate the storage you’ll need. I’d consider our home in about the middle as far as “stuff” goes. We needed roughly the square footage in cubic storage space (so an 1900 sq ft house needs about 1900 cubic feet of storage) - 80% of the packing is quick. The next 20% takes just as long as the first 80% and there is always at least 1 car load left over. Plan a full weekend for just the last 20% of stuff.
EDIT: I will add that even though U Haul massively screwed us with their terrible calculation, they were super helpful and pleasant to work with (both corporate and local). They tried to offer solutions (just none that worked on our timeline). Never got bounced around. The local manager gave feedback to corporate and was able to offer me a partial refund. I’d use them again. Just go with a comment below regarding getting an estimate from a moving company.

Hey fam, thanks so much for whoever chimes in. I'm not new to putting together pc's however, i'm new to ryzen CPU's and creating what build around that. I've seen more and more users swapping to ryzen for streaming/gaming and it's said to be a better option for multitasking. I want my build to have a 4070 TI because I've seen it in my friends custom build and I love the graphics i see when watching him play.
I've heard the Ryzen 7 7800x3d will work wit the 4070 TI. I know everything bottlenecks, but when i put both of them together at 2k on bottleneck calculator it says that the cpu is not strong enough for the full effects of the 4070 ti and bottlenecks at a 25.5% and thats my concern.. Any suggestions and swaps under budget would be incredible.
I would prefer a website where i can bundle things or get a credit card/payment plan for the parts, if that's not doable, it's not the biggest deal.
Thanks for all your help.
What to base build around:
GPU: Nvidia 4070 TI
What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.
Max settings Apex, BG3, Overwatch, Valheim, Fornite.. High settings for Rust & Cod (unless build can also run max for them)
What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?
$2,200.00
When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.
ASAP
What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)
Tower (white preferably) , windows OS, monitor (would prefer a 32inch 2k with 244 hz or better)
Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?
US, Yes i have access to a microcenter location.
If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.
Razer Basalisk v3 wired mouse, razer wired keyboard.
Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?
No I will not be overclocking as i'm unfamiliar with it. (if it's recommended please include a video and description on how this effects my pc/graphics card)
Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)
2T storage SSD Samsung preferred. I would like lights (i can always buy LED strips off of amazon but if there is a specific brand that could work better please lmk!)
What type of network connectivity do you need? (Wired and/or WiFi) If WiFi is needed and you would like to find the fastest match for your wireless router, please list any specifics.
I would like to have the option to swap to WIFI
Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?
Mid to full tower. White, Windowed, LED lighting. It's very hard for me to find a WHITE 2k monitor thats around 32 inch and runs at 244 hz or better as well, if this is possible to find I would love and appreciate that.
Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?
Latest version, as much as I would prefer windows 10, not many things are able to download with it..

Old laptop stopped working, but as of now I have a really limited budget as a student. I would be using it for mainly watching study lectures, writing, editing images and some slight coding. Would a Chromebook suffice for this? I do also have plans on learning some softwares like blender in the near future.
Or should I wait, save up and just directly get a laptop? From my experience, 15-20k is a good range for chromebooks whereas for laptops it's at least 40k if I don't want to compromise on the speed.
I mainly use Google drive and docs for saving stuff so storage isn't a huge deal. Might need to download large files once in a while.
I am also a tech noob so not sure about what features to look for when making the purchase. Any recommendations and advices would be largely appreciated