I wanted to see if I could figure this out along with her I'm 33 minutes in, but I started back at the beginning of the puzzle to work my way through because I don't want to see the answer before I've tried to work my way through the problem. Here's my logic.
23:00 So knowing that it's a maze gives me some interesting parallels. The first thing that comes to mind are neurons, especially since We know she worked in neuroscience. With that new context it reconceptualizes the movement path of the library. it's a neuro-pathway.
Every action, every thought (I actually fell asleep, so this is where I'm picking back up. I'm not sure if the answer to why she's there is revealed by the end of the episode, but I haven't finished it yet.) is the result of neurons firing in a specific order. Much like how they have to find the clues in a specific order. Just like how to get out of a maze, you have to make decisions in a certain order. (David Ajala has me cracking up! also I just realized their necklace is an open book.)
28:35 Could it be literal. Even the Bookkeeper (which btw I LOVE! If academy every comes to the library. I hope they bring her back!) made comment about how funny it was that a book was coming to her. I remember all the way back in E3, I made the connection that Adira was a stand in for "'they' told me that XYZ happens in the episode." The time bug was a literal menace to society (society being Little Miss Muffet. She wasn't born in the far, post scarcity, future. I'm not sure what the going rate for curds and whey these days is, but with inflation. It can't be cheap. She's out here eating cheese floating in leftover milk water. She ain't got no job. Food stamps didn't exist then, and along comes this spider who just sits down beside her and frightened miss muffet away. Like it has a way to replace her spilled cheese in milk water lunch. It may be a spider, but it aint no Charlotte.).
"Book" states over and over the the library represents her mindscape. Well, if the library is her mind, what is it full of? Books! But book is also there working as her guide. Helping her navigate the maze and figure everything out. What she wants is children with Book. I'm assuming the lights shutting down represents the fact that she is missing the window of opportunity to have children with Book. A literal biological clock.
29:04 Those are her eggs. (freeze this point so we can come back to it when we decide the time is right)
29:10 Making it back to the room is the test, but "finishing" is the goal. Get it.. Finishing.. 😂😂😂
29:33 A farmer's bucket using white sand... like FERTILizer! The time is right to unfreeze that point about her eggs. People who can bear children are born with a finite number of eggs. This is a finite number of rooms. Whereas people who can fertilize eggs can make fertilizer all their life. Which is why once she dumped so much sand out. It gave me anxiety. I was like "girl you ain't gone have enough". Then I realized is was cum. Books a healthy guy. He can make more. To quote Jack Crusher. She's looking for them space babies.
31:10 In a series known for having some of the most the most beautiful cinematography in science fiction. This moving shot left me speechless.

It truly makes me laugh ever time I remember that the boss at ABC is now going to be using Grey's as a way to build viewers for the local news. It feels a bit insulting for it to basically be reduced down to that.
For those not aware this is the quote I'm talking about
"well over 80% watches the show on multiple platforms, not specifically live, so we think the move is going to be minimal, as well as it will provide an incredible lead into our local news at 11"

Please don’t share this sa Facebook or any social media outlets
I’ve always been called aloof and cold by guys I know. Only had one boyfriend. Never into that stuff anyway.
My father almost sexually assaulted/molested me growing up. I grew up being a fighter (not physically but I don’t tolerate and will speak up always) so I always block his advances, told my mom about it… he’s an ofw (in our country, that means someone who works outside of his home country, for better pay) and he comes home for a month every year.. we hardly see each other. He would emotionally and physically abuse us by the time I turned 13x never everyday but ever since he goes home, it’s always a war, one time it got so bad, I was rushed to the hospital because I accidentally stepped on a broken bottle of beer he threw AT US. Ive always been full of anxiety, and get always scared everytime he comes home because that guy is fcking monster. There never goes a day where he just didn’t still. He called me and my names, all the worst things you can imagine.
I graduated, moved out of our hose… though, the emotional scar never healed, it was peaceful for a while. I never entertained boys, nor do I have interest. I was focus on my goals. Come this Feb, my current workplace is near my aunt’s house. For a while, I thought everytubjng was okay since I’m staying with my aunt (who’s the youngest sister of my mom) and his husband who’s 70 years old and I’m as far as away from my hometown.
Now, my aunt’s husband, growing up, I always knew him to be generous and kind…. But then today changed everything, I received a message from him telling me he finds me so pretty, he likes me and that he feels like I like him too. He added the message with a, “let’s see when I come home” and I almost collapsed. Told my mom and his wife about it.
I just can’t speak today. I feel like drowning and I was feeling like a zombie at work, trying to hold myself together or I might fucking break. It fucking sucks. This feeling. I never gave any signs and as if I’d ever like someone like him.
I don’t know. I don’t know what to feel anymore. I don’t deserve to be treated and seen this way. I never gave them any signs!!!!!
I’m so fucking angry.

Going to South Lake Tahoe from June 2-6 with Family. My brother in law booked an AirBNB for all of us for a few days. Arriving Sunday and leaving Wednesday. Gonna be 10 of us in total, 6 adults and 4 kids. We are doing alot of back and forth via text in planning what we are going to do, where we are going to go.
What Im looking for is some 1st hand Tahoe info. Wheres the best places to hang at the lake with family? Do we need to buy our own kayaks and water toys or will there be some to rent.
Sand Harbor is the spot that my bro in law keeps pushing but its 45 min away. Is it worth the drive? Are there good places to eat nearby?
Any info is appreciated. Thank you kindly.

Wow, where do I even start. First off, it's that weird time of year wherr tempatures are all over the place and my body ALWAYS runs hot; I always have a fan or cold air on me to compensate.
Anyways, it's Monday and Mondays are always the worst for me because I'm this evil concoction of exhausted and aroused. I have a second job on the weekends at my friend's moving company, and right now we have a job that's 4 hours away unloading a horders house. Which means I drive to the hotel in town Friday night, work all day Saturday and Sunday, then drive 4 hours back to work an additional 8 hours at my primary job.
Needless to say, by the end of business day, Monday, I am weak with exhaustion. Yet...since I've gone almost 4 days without any sexual activities, and since my girlfriend is the biggest tease known to man, I'm beyond titilated. So because I'm in the mood and my girlfriend would be over soon, I decided to surprise her.
Currently my girlfriend and I are experimenting with anal play; anal stretching to be more accurate. I've confessed to her my utter desire to have my ass used. Prior to now, we've done pegging, prostate play, and she even fisted me once. That is what led us to oversized toys and plugs; I want a gaping hole
Anywho, I'm home from work and I decide to present myself to her like a gift. I insert the biggest size on the anal dialator set for stretching (still somewhat small if you ask me), and I get in bed. It's then I realize a pair of panties draped on the edge of my computer chair. I guess I had a present myself since she knows I like panties. It was a lime green mesh or sheer thong.
Now before any of you get wild with your thoughts, my girlfriend and I are comfortable wearing each other's clothes, like whatever is lying around. We don't wear them outside the house but if we need to quickly put some clothes on to answer the door or because my roommate is home and we need snacks; we'll put on whatever is about. She'll wear my boxers, shirts, shorts etc... I'll wearing her boy shorts, pajama bottoms, and her leggings (once).
Naturally I didn't think twice about slipping her sexy little thong on. It also worked as to keep my plug in place since it doesn't have that neck on the bottom to keep it in. I'll be honest, but I won't be graphic, my business didn't fit inside this garment AT ALL. To forgo the witchhunt, I'm sizeable; both a shower and grower IYKYK. Regardless I got them where I wanted in other places, I just had to fix the front, so I get in bed and lay on my back before adjusting everything visually. I came to terms with not getting it all in but it was impressive looking nonetheless, so I waited....and waited....and waited.
I fell asleep. I must've been very tired because I can't usually sleep directly on my back but I woke up with a sliver on the duvet on my leg, sprawled out with my phone in hand. Oh yea and my roommate in my doorway seeing me in my gift-like state instead of my girlfriend. I spring out of bed only to have all of my situation fall out of my girlfriends tiny thong.
There's this long drawn-out wild west dual scenario happening where we just stand there silent. He up and downs me and all he's says is "Come on, man. What are you doing? Answer your phone" (it was on silent) and then he irritatingly leaves with a bothered energy as if I've offended him.
Him and I have our history and I know I have to talk to him. There's a difference between catching a glimpse of your nude friends vs. seeing him sexually exposed and completely vulnerable. He's also not very expressive (sexually) which is why he's lost a few relationships in the past; including my current girlfriend. Granted, he has a lot to unfold, so I'll let him be for a bit...
TL;DR: My roommate caught me in my girlfriend's thong and a butt plug in me.

So, for context, I served a Vietnamese Speaking LDS mission in San Jose, California. I’m not in the church anymore, but my father is Vietnamese, so I’m half. It’s been a tradition for /years/ that, when a non-Vietnamese Missionary serves in /any/ Vietnamese-speaking mission, they are given a Vietnamese name. This serves as a way to connect with the culture and just makes it easier for the Viets to say their names. It’s also a way of immersing yourself in their world and understanding them on a deeper level. It’s a beautiful sharing cultural norms. Even outside the names, non-Viets are referred to by Anh (brother) or Chị (sister). It’s how things work in the culture and another way to be inclusive, even outside of TSCC. This brings me to the main point. May you get sister served in Vietnam and, during her time there, her MP made an /asinine/ decision that non-Viet missionaries were to go by their last names. What’s more, they were no longer being referred to by Vietnamese forms of address (Anh and Chị). Apparently it came down from whoever presides over that side of the world’s missions, but that doesn’t make it better. They’re stripping away something special, unique, and culturally sensetive to the Vietnamese people. Even if I don’t believe in the MFMC anymore, my culture and people are still important to me. This just feels like old ass white men from Moridor are trying to whitewash the people of Vietnam because “the Church is American and you should act like Americans”. What’s more, in state-side Vietnamese-speaking areas, this “revelation” isn’t in effect. Just Vietnam itself. It pisses me off and just adds another mark to the shit list of what these old white men are doing across the world. If it’s happening to my people, it’s definitely happening to other cultures as well. For any other ex-Viet Elders/Sisters, or anyone who had fun cultural differences in their missions, what are your thoughts? I just wanted to hear other opinions and discuss some.

It was only a few minutes, I was resting my eyes, lol. I never seen you like this before, I stood all amazed, young, decades before my birth, I could not know your countenance, I felt your Spirit, I immediately recognized you. "Daddy?', like I used to say when you came home from work, conjure I was 3 maybe 4, intent pure love, I am my current age and we are standing on the granite shore, Your favorite spot to cast off, where you shared your love for fishing, which I carry and passed on as well, to your Grandson, who is now a man, bigger, smarter, stronger, and quicker than the you and I together. I am aware we are talking in "The People's" language but I notice our mouths never open, it's beautiful. All I been been through since I carried your casket with my brother's you already knew. The highest honor I have ever done Sir was laying you to rest. This place is familiar, it's Light, Warmth, Love, Peace. Home. you tell me that who I need to be is Me. I feel like I've here hours, days, months, Years? I don't want to leave you again Dad, I want to stay. You smile, I know why I came here, I understand now, I will see you when I look in the Mirror, 1/2 your Heart to make Mine Whole. I Love You Forever and Always. I'm wooshed away at incomprehensible speed , I jolt awake In my chair in front of the computer, I look around, no one around, no one to see me jolt in my chair, lol. I remember The Ways. I hear myself saying "dóó ni'áásh", then Hózhó náhásdlíí.

We matched on Bumble in October of 2023; it was a great time in my life. Things were finally looking up, we matched, and we chatted, but it was not a good time in your life. You were taken by work, no time for dating and definitely no time for me. SO, the conversation fizzled, and we stopped chatting, having never met.
Life got in the way, and I moved 6 hours away, I was starting over, talking to other guys and mercury was indeed in the microwave. Then I woke up to your text, “hey” you said I replied with “a blast from the past”. You told me you’ve been thinking of me, I even appeared in your dream. Over and over, I said “this is a bad idea, and this won’t work” you convinced me otherwise. I was the fool who fell for your game. Every time I said distance was hard and required effort, you said you’d put in the effort. You called me, messaged me every morning, wished me goodnight. I was quickly falling, not in love, but definitely in like. You were interested in me; you admired my work ethic and you wanted to get to know me. You had even changed jobs so you would have more time.
Then, you took a 12 hour round trip train to come see me, name one girl that wouldn’t be in awe of that, bet you can’t. You came to visit me, spent the weekend, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, three days of pure bliss filled with fun, laughter, and sexy time. I don’t regret any of it, it was an amazing weekend even though that was the beginning and the end. We went out, we had good food, we got to know each other better. You shared childhood stories, and I did the same, you bought me a rose and a hat (that I will keep because it’s actually great) needless to say it was super-duper romantic.
I dropped you off at the station, you kissed me and said, “see you soon”. AGAIN, name one girl! We continued to chat for a week, still in the like bubble, then it started; the decline, the reduction, the stalling, the ignoring, the one-word answers. We had set a couple of times to chat on the phone and you never called. You told me you’d visit me again, you never showed. Communication had tumbled down the hill and pushing it back up required hard labor.
However, I’m maturing so instead of playing your game, I set my expectations. I told you what I needed. Communication, communication, communication! We finally spoke on the phone, and I laid it out. I explained that going days without even a “what sup” was out of character and that it was not what we had been doing. You explained you’ve been “busy” which is also A-OKAY I’m not a monster nor clingy, I understand both have lives, what I needed was “Hey, I’m swamped the next couple of days, I’ll try to message you when I get a moment” Honestly, below the bare minimum if you ask me!
You actually agreed! You apologized, you explained why you were engaging in this behavior, and you said “I will do better” I could see the light at the end of that tunnel, it was fixed, our problems were resolved, and we were back baby!
WRONG, our problems were resolved for a mere 24 hours and then, poof, back to the same behavior. I should’ve known there was no changing you. But it’s not that I wanted to change you, I just wanted you to put in the same effort I was, but that was never the plan. A week after that phone call, you had officially ghosted me, my last text was seen but never answered. A phantom of my past.
Looking back at it now I can’t help but think that this was your plan all along, get in my pants, get your fill and disappear back into your life. We had this discussion before, we talked about how I wanted more than a hookup, I wanted a foundation, a relationship with someone who was into me as much as I was into him. But all you ever wanted was a couple nights of fun and then erase me from your memories.
The truth is, I’m not sad; I’m disappointed in myself for falling for your act. I’m angry at you for using me. I’m confused because I don’t understand how anyone could do that. The length you took for some sexy time baffles me. The energy you put just so you can mess with me is unmatched, I’ll rate your performance an A+.
I’m also hurt, and I feel used. I told you what I wanted, and you ignored it and did the one thing I asked you not to do. Perhaps it was a game, see how easy it would be for you to get me. You played your role well, convinced me it would be different and probably laughed on your train ride home.
You only gained from our time together, as for me, I’ve just built my walls up higher, making it harder for the next person to break me. You left me thinking, maybe I’m not wanted, maybe the problem is me, maybe there will be no love in this lifetime because every time I get closer to thinking “oh he could be the one” a man like you proves me wrong.
I want to wish you misery but that would mean I continue to think of you and frankly I don’t want you to ever cross my mind again. It’s damn hard though because every time I’m feeling alone, I think of how you ripped a piece of my sanity away. Don’t get me wrong I’m not heartbroken over a man I had only met once and talked to for less than 2 months. I’m just defeated, and hoping, wishing, praying that someone will come along to make me realize that you were indeed… just… shit.

Hello everyone. My husband and I have an 11 year old Jack Russell/Rat Terrier mix who has developed severe noise phobia/anxiety in the past few years. He has always been an anxious dog and he has struggled with separation anxiety ever since I got him (10 years ago).
We first noticed in back in 2020 when I started working from home full time. It started gradually, with him getting upset when I would get a notification on my phone while on a phone call. We assumed this was because a lot of times it was someone texting to say they had dropped something off and he grew to associate that noise with someone being at our apartment door. The noise my phone makes is high pitched and only happens when I am on a call and I get a text message. We have never been able to figure out how to change it and even after I got a new phone from the same manufacturer the same noise was used.
We moved late in 2020 and over the course of the following years we began to notice more and more noises that our dog was becoming scared of. There is a high pitched ding that is used in a lot of shows that was the first major culprit we noticed. It's commonly used as a scene transition or when a character has an idea. Once we identified this new noise we made an effort to switch what we were watching whenever it happened to help our dog calm down.
It progressed again from here in the past year or so. Now even hearing an elevator ding in shows and movies will set him off. The list of shows and movies we can watch has been drastically reduced. You would be amazed how many shows occasionally have SOMETHING that makes a high pitched/electronic/chime noise. Even if we change the show he will be so on edge and upset for the rest of the evening that there is nothing we can do but sit in complete silence. We have to take him outside just to turn the air purifier off to clean it because it beeps when you turn it off/on. We had to download an app to control our ceiling fan because the remote makes a beeping sound when we turn it off/on.
To give some context on what we are seeing when he gets upset: physically flinching when he hears the noise, urinating inside, panting, pacing, shaking (INTENSELY), chewing, barking, trying to hide (anywhere and everywhere - including places where he has almost gotten himself hurt), whimpering, trying to get away from us (on walks or when we were sitting together) and complete refusal to eat. We have offered him all of his favorite treats and bought new ones to try and bribe him with but he is so upset he won't do more than sniff them.
Just this morning we discovered a new problem sound. We got him a little doorbell to push to tell us when he wants to go outside. We just have a ring doorbell so he isn't reactive to the classic doorbell chime and this one came with a wide variety of sounds to try. He is smart as can be and we know he will figure this out without a problem, but as soon as he heard the sound effects (and we tried all of them) he started to get upset. I was able to bribe him with hot dogs for a few minutes to try and convince it was okay, but even with the volume on its lowest setting we only got about 5 minutes of positive reinforcement before he was done and went to hide in our cat's litter box.
Things we have tried:
Vet Visit - Our vet did senior blood work that came back looking great! He was also given a basic exam and there was nothing our vet identified as a potential problem. She did suggest that his hearing could be changing and as such new noises could be starting to be a lot more upsetting to him.
CBD - At the encouragement of our vet. This was completely ineffective even after several days at the max dose for his size. No improvement whatsoever in his reaction to the noise.
Gabapentin - He is currently taking this twice a day at a low starting dose that our vet prescribed. We are waiting on a call back from our vet about getting him a higher dose because the low dose isn't helping much. We have noticed a little bit of improvement but overall he is still just as reactive. The other issue with this is that sometimes he hears something that upsets him in the morning/evening before we have given him his meds and then he won't even consider eating his pill no matter what delicious treat it is wrapped up in.
Crate - He is crate trained and goes in his crate happily (especially because he always gets a treat for going in). We have tried having him go upstairs in his crate which is as far from the living room as possible but even then if he hears the noise he will go ballistic in his crate. It's to the point we are scared he will hurt himself trying to get out of it. (Have not been able to try this in combination with calming drugs yet)
Thundershirt - This barely helps. It's one that in conjunction with the gabapentin we feel like there was a slighter faster calm down time after hearing one of the bad sounds. He was still upset and shiver shaking but he definitely wasn't as bad as we have seen him in the past
Positive Reinforcement - We can't find a volume low enough that he can tolerate the sound. We are big believers in positive reinforcement but no matter how soft the sound is he gets very upset and will refuse to take a treat. (Have not been able to try this in combination with calming drugs yet)
Physical Restraint - We realize this probably wasn't the best route but early on, and occasionally still when we are desperate to just finish a movie or episode before turning the TV off for the night, we will hold him and make him stay on the couch. Once he gets up to start pacing he has to be watched to keep him from messing with litter boxes, hiding somewhere unsafe, peeing inside, and being destructive so we can't really just keep watching. Weirdly sometimes this helps but most of the time as soon as we let him go he starts shaking and freaking out.
Combining the noise with something he likes - We have tried playing the noise on very low volume while on a walk. He actually tried to get out of his harness in response to some sounds but we did find a couple that were only mildly upsetting and he tolerated. The REALLY bad noises though were off limits regardless of volume. (Have not been able to try this in combination with calming drugs yet)
We love our little guy but we can't live like this and we don't want him to live with this much fear. I'm not proud of it but I will admit we have yelled at him more lately because we are so frustrated with the situation. We always feel terrible for raising our voices but it's really hard when we never feel like we can relax because he is always so on edge. It's not that we have yelled every time or anything like that but it's happened a couple times in the past week. We really need help figuring out what to do because we feel like we are going crazy.
Things we are adding to the plan:
Clicker training - I did this with him after I first adopted him at about a year old. He responded well to it but it didn't stick as part of our training since it didn't feel necessary. I'm hoping if I can help him form a really positive association with the clicker it may be enough to counteract the bad noises.
Ear coverings - We ordered a couple of different ear protecting options for him to try out. He tolerated me putting them on him this morning but it wasn't enough to counteract the bad doorbell device. These are the two we got him: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0CM6SKTPY/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&th=1 and https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B0I5Z2O?ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details&th=1
Additional calming aids - We consulted with a trainer a long time ago about some general anxiety issues and they recommended trying these: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BGV8L7L2?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details so we ordered some and will be starting them today. We also ordered these https://www.amazon.com/dp/B077MDJ58Y?ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details&th=1 which our dog promptly determined were disgusting and he won't eat them.

Since the death of my mother, I haven’t felt like living. Everything seems hopeless. I don’t have a passionate career, no friends in my city, no love life, I’m morbidly obese, and now I feel like my dad talking to this new woman half his age is going to ruin our relationship. We’re all grown, and I understand that, but our family dynamic is just unique rn. Me and my older brother still live in the house I was raised in, while my dad and mom lived in another house they bought a few blocks over. Life is great, my dad is super supportive, always there for me and extra since my mom passed(they were married to 40 years), but I’m just very uncomfortable with his talking to someone, and this soon. She just passed away 4 months ago, and I feel this pushing me away from him. I need to move out, and finally be free, be me, be independent, because my mental health has been completely shattered since my mother died.

I’m a 15 year old boy and I managed to fall out of a tree and landed on my fright knee in a weird way so I’ve landed then was just on the floor for 30 seconds. Then my friend helped me up I managed about 10 steps then it felt as if my my knee gave way or my knee cap moved a solid 2 inches to the front and to the left, then because it was a school trip a teacher has come over and asked me how I was I got up again and I obviously couldn’t walk the rest of the trip so my mum has come and pick me up, she’s picked me up, I’ve limped with my arm around my teacher then I’ve been sat in the back with my knee up because we needed to go pick something up then my mum has said just try to walk to that fence (about 3 metres away) and back, it hurt so much I limped the whole way with a very stiff knee feeling like it was going to give like how it did before, is it a sprain or maybe a dislocation?

I don’t see any recent accounts on how to get a botox treatment in Toronto so I figured this could be useful for some folks. I got my first botox treatment with Dr. Jennifer Anderson at St. Michael’s yesterday - all in all the process took about 2 years, but could have been faster if I had been more on top of scheduling appointments and following up. (My RCPD symptoms are pretty mild so I wasn’t THAT motivated to move this along, and I also am generally wimpy about hospitals and medical procedures so I procrastinated scheduling some of tests and procedures).
I started with just my local walk-in clinic (Royal Care at College and Spadina), since I don’t have a family doctor. The doctor there had actually heard of RCPD so that was good, but he had me try heartburn medication first. I dutifully did that and went back and reported it had no effect, he then referred me to a gastroenterologist - Dr. Moskovitz.
Dr. Moskovitz is a real nice guy, high energy, a bit of fast talker. He also had me try the heartburn meds as a first step, (even though I said I had already tried that), after I confirmed that doesn’t work he scheduled me for an endoscopy to look inside my throat. This was done at Humber River Hospital and I was fully sedated for it since its a big camera tube down your esophagus (ugh). Even just getting the IV inserted for the sedation drugs freaked me out quite a bit (did I mention I am a wimp?) but this was pretty easy all told. The sedation drug Propofol is amazing, I was out like a light and woke up somewhere else in the hospital feeling like nothing had happened, no side effects.
After Moskovitz confirmed there was nothing visually wrong with my throat, he finally agreed to refer me to Dr. Anderson at St. Michael’s for RCPD botox treatment (yay!). He knew that Dr. Anderson is the only person doing this treatment in Toronto.
At my first appointment at Dr. Anderson’s clinic, one of Anderson’s assistants put a small camera tube up my nose (with numbing spray). It felt weird but was generally tolerable, and I was able to see my own throat on the screen! (We are full of throbbing pink flesh its so gross). She tried to put it further down into my throat but that activated my hair-trigger gag reflex and I reflexively pushed her away. (I REALLY don’t like gagging, haha). I apologized profusely, but my gag reflex really is that strong. She said that was ok for now, and had me schedule another appointment, the Manometry test.
Hoo boy. This is the bad one. The esophageal manometry test is where they (try to) put a small tube up your nose and then all the way down your throat, and then the tube records how well your swallowing muscles work. You’re supposed to swallow liquids while this tube is all the way down your esophagus! Just like the last time, I was ok with the tube in my nose, but as soon as it started touching the back of my throat my gag reflex kicked in and I reflexively pulled away. He tried again with my head against the wall, and as soon as I started gagging I reflexively RAN AWAY across the room, pulling the tube out. The guy agreed that it looked like I wouldn’t be able to complete the test, haha. I am really flabbergasted that anyone is capable of doing this test, with my gag reflex I found it completely intolerable. My friend is also going through this process and said she was crying and gagging the whole time during this test, just awful. I recommend trying to skip this one if you have a strong gag reflex.
I called Dr. Anderson’s clinic and told them I was unable to do the manometry test. They said that was OK, there was one more test that could tell them about my swallowing performance, the Barium Swallow. This one is a cakewalk compared to the others, you just swallow some fizzy water, then lie down on this contraption that moves around while you take sips of some radioactive sludge, so they can record how the sludge moves down your throat. A little uncomfy and weird at times but in general quite easy, no tubes in you at all.
So, finally the tests were all done and I had my first actual meeting with the famous Dr. Jennifer Anderson! She walked me through what the botox procedure would entail and what side effects there could be, like heartburn and trouble swallowing for a few weeks. She said I was now free to call and schedule my botox appointment, which I then procrastinated doing for 5 months because I really didn’t like the sound of a needle going into my throat, haha.
Finally, I did schedule the appointment and had it done yesterday! I was pretty nervous about it but it wasn’t toooo bad. I did have to pay $234 for 50 units of botox out of pocket (my first expense in this whole process, thanks Canadian health care system!)
The actual botox procedure went as follows - Dr. Anderson had me lie down and injected freezing into my neck - it was weird feeling liquid suddenly appear in my esophagus that I hadn’t swallowed. That froze up the sensation in my esophagus, so coughing and swallowing felt really weird. Then I just had to relax and stop trying to swallow while she inserted the botox needle. To make sure the needle is in the right spot I had to sniff a few times - there’s an instrument that tells her if the needle is in the airway or the correct muscle. This was a bit nerve-wracking for me because I had such an urge to swallow but I was not supposed to. Dr. Anderson was really great throughout the procedure explaining what was happening, and did help me relax by telling me how to breathe. And finally, it was done! The actual botox part didn’t take more than a minute or two in reality. Again, I’m a wimp so it felt like a big deal but it really wasn’t.
My understanding is that Dr. Bastian in Chicago does the botox procedure while you are under general anaesthesia, which is interesting to me… doesn’t seem like something that would really warrant it given how quick and painless it is. I suppose if you were even more anxious than me about your throat it might be necessary. Also, going to Dr. Bastian costs $4000 plus travel, so if you’re Canadian it makes much more financial sense to just jump through the hoops to get it done here. If you stay on top of your appointments and advocate for yourself I think you could get it done in a year and a half, maybe under a year if you are lucky. Don’t be afraid to request Dr. Anderson by name! It seems to be that this is still considered experimental therapy here so they insist on lots of tests to rule out any other possible issues, but some tests (like the infernal manometry) seem unnecessary to me.
So here I am on day 2, Dr. Anderson said the botox takes a few days to take effect so not much has happened yet, just swallowing solid food feels a little slow now… fingers crossed I get some burps soon!
Good luck on your journey fellow no-burpers!!!

Brother it’s already listed for half of what the next lowest price in the neighborhood is. Super considerate owner just wanting their mortgage & insurance covered for a year before they move back in

To give some context, I moved to the US when I was 21 and I turned 35 this year. I first came for a semester only originally, but went home again for another 6 months before moving back permanently.
When I first moved here I met my first boyfriend ever at the apartment complex we lived in. It was very organic, I was by myself at the pool one night and two gays guy around my age were hanging out. We end up chatting, hanging out, and the rest is history. I started dating one of them almost immediately, as we couldn’t stop hanging out after that night. I became friends with the other guy and I remember him telling me about grinder (it was very new at the time) but I didn’t pay much attention and the concept of flirting with guys that could see how close you were seemed weird to me.
So I end up having the cutest and realest relationship I ever had. It lasted the 6 months, broke my heart when I had to leave and we did long distance until I returned. (think "call me by your name" but in california and without the age gap. it was magical)
It didn’t last after I came back, we were just kids, so then I downloaded grinder for the first time at the age of 22 and it's kinda of sad now to think in hindsight how it's been a sick cycle of hooks up and ghosting for the past 12 years since that day (I remember vividly the first time I downloaded it).
Im not saying I was never happy again after that and I’m kinda glad I didn’t spend too long in a relationship at such a young age, but those 6 months were definitely a highlighted era in my lifetime and Im so glad I got to live it. (It was also 2012 and I only had a dumb phone since I was only here for a semester - so no grinder and social media which I think was an important ingredient for the recipe that resulted in such a good time)
Sometimes I feel like Im wasting my life away on these apps and that they are sucking my soul through the screen - but then I think Im being dramatic about it and remember of the fun and hot hook ups I had.
So when I think back of a decade of being a single gay man (I was in a relationship again for 3 years in 2018-21, when I was 30. We met on tinder, I wasn’t really in love with the guy (but I stayed). So it seems like I failed at knowing myself and finding a long term partner. But again, a lot of the hooks up were fun and did help me find out a lot about my sexuality that I wouldn’t have with just theory and watching porn. Some hook ups also developed into friendships and short time crushes at times, which were also fun and worth-having experiences, even with the let downs of it all.
So I couldn’t help but wonder… (30+ gays will get it)
For the guys with a similar story out there, where you have been single and hooking up + casually dating for most of your adult life: How do you feel about it? Was it worth it? Do you think it impacted your chances of getting into a monogamous long term relationship at the age you are now? Are you still on grinder?
At this point I’m considering deleting grinder, hinge and tinder. I even have been considering being celibate for a while to see if I can “reset” my emotional and sexual brain. But its kinda scary because it's where I get 99% of interaction with gay man at this day and age, which is also weird to think about.
I’m just getting to a conclusion that grinder may have fucked with me (and our whole community) permanently and all of the fun I got from it was not worth it. If anyone has thoughts on that too would be interesting to hear it, and thanks for reading all of this.

I have a 7 month old daith with a 14k gold CBR. I haven’t had my piercer confirm but I suspect it’s fully healed. Ever since the swelling and bumps went away months ago it’s been moving around a lot. When I lean over to that side the jewellery swings out like I’m opening a car door.
I suspect it’s normal to have movement since the bead adds weight in that spot, but I find it annoying and I worry that it will get caught on something. Is there a way to reduce movement? A smaller diameter ring perhaps?

Buying a Honda Rebel 300 as a first bike! Taking MSF course next week. I get 11mpg in my old jeeps. Got a $22 a month insurance quote from progressive and $70 a month payment on bike. I pay $350 a month on average for gas.
Is this a good move?

Basically just the title, they’re a biter when they’re mad & she’s only one so I’d love to stop the behavior in its tracks. My current approach is zero emotional reaction, calmly say “no” & move my body in a way she can’t bite me anymore. It’s been about a month of this with no increase in biting but it’s still happening 3 or 4 times a week. I’ve heard it’s best to have as little a reaction as possible without letting the behavior continue but my parents insist I’m letting her get away with it.

It was only a few minutes, I was resting my eyes, lol. I never seen you like this before, I stood all amazed, young, decades before my birth, I could not know your countenance, I felt your Spirit, I immediately recognized you. "Daddy?', like I used to say when you came home from work, conjure I was 3 maybe 4, intent pure love, I am my current age and we are standing on the granite shore, Your favorite spot to cast off, where you shared your love for fishing, which I carry and passed on as well, to your Grandson, who is now a man, bigger, smarter, stronger, and quicker than the you and I together. I am aware we are talking in "The People's" language but I notice our mouths never open, it's beautiful. All I been been through since I carried your casket with my brother's you already knew. The highest honor I have ever done Sir was laying you to rest. This place is familiar, it's Light, Warmth, Love, Peace. Home. you tell me that who I need to be is Me. I feel like I've here hours, days, months, Years? I don't want to leave you again Dad, I want to stay. You smile, I know why I came here, I understand now, I will see you when I look in the Mirror, 1/2 your Heart to make Mine Whole. I Love You Forever and Always. I'm wooshed away at incomprehensible speed , I jolt awake In my chair in front of the computer, I look around, no one around, no one to see me jolt in my chair, lol. I remember The Ways. I hear myself saying "dóó ni'áásh", then Hózhó náhásdlíí.

This is my(f 30) first post ever on here. My friend (f 26) had her birthday earlier this week (we will call her Jen for the sake of the story). Jen works weekends and her bday was on a Monday, so I planned a one night get away to somewhere we have a wanted to go for a while at the end of the month. A little background, Jen and I have been friends for years, she was considered my best friend. We kind of got busy the last year or so and work opposite schedules but I always tried to make time for her. I use to party a lot when I was younger, but really got out of the party life a couple years ago, so I try to do alternative things like lunch or shopping etc. My bday was last month and I invited her to Hawaii with me. We really reconnected in Hawaii and I thought things were back to normal and we would be hella close again. I was wrong, we came back home and I was flaked on twice for one of her bfs and I kept trying to make plans. The weekend prior to her bday she and my other friend ignored me when I tried to make plans to hangout and they went out downtown that is located about a mile alway from me without inviting me. I expressed how I felt and that it hurt being left out and excluded and I felt like it was a one sided friendship. How it’s always me texting to make plans and or checking in. Jen said she didn’t think I would want to go out so they didn’t invite me. I told her she knows I don’t party like that but she also knows I don’t mind going out and even being the DD (we did this pretty much the whole time in Hawaii and have had this convo prior so that was a bs excuse). She said sorry and she would do better. Fast forward to a week later, her bday. A few weeks prior I texted her to lmk if she doesn’t have plans I would like to treat her to breakfast or lunch or something and she said she would let me know. I texted Jen in the morning of her bday saying happy bday and to let me know if she wants to meet up and do something, my treat. She pretty much ignored me again and ended up spending the day with my other friend and didn’t bother about me (again). So the next day I told her she she should go with her other friends to the event I have planned at the end of the month since she clearly doesn’t want to hangout with me. If she were to do something with one of her bfs or family I wouldn’t even care but the fact that she ignored me and hung out with a mutual friend when I was trying to see her on her bday really hurt. So why should I go to this other event when she chose not to see me on her bday? I feel used. She got pissed at me saying I made her bday worse now and all this crap and now isn’t talking to me. AITA here? I feel like I need to put my foot down and move on from a friendship if it’s one sided and when things haven’t changed even when we talked about it and she promised to do better.

Basically asking here for whether there's hope (or inspiring stories out there) of other eco nerds who found themselves in an office job that managed to transition back to field for at least part of the time?
TLDR; don't have much field experience in surveys but in field restoration. Physical limitations mean I can no longer do habitat restoration full-time. Have a project coordinator desk job in habitat restoration that I love except for the need to be stuck to a screen nearly all day with lots of administrative bs+ not really any outside time. Looking for stories, advice, thoughts.
Background: I've got an unconventional academic background, in that my undergrad was crim and psych with some bio thrown in, and I have an environmental studies masters that really helped me get footing in the field. I've never worked outdoors full-time doing survey work; I did work in landscape maintenance mostly municipally for parks for ~7 years prior to jumping in and doing analysis and species at risk policy work in-office. I found my dream job of doing habitat restoration in the field and then... injured my back and hip. Probably wouldn't have left the job otherwise but I have bills to pay, so I hopped to government species at risk policy and then, in the last year, made the jump over to fully remote project coordination with a well-respected Canadian eNGO doing habitat restoration in partnership with municipalities, conservation authorities (Ontario), orgs and others.
I am so grateful for my job right now as it's way better than the government hop; great team, remote environment, I fully believe in our work and it has actual results to show for it. I get to talk with people about pollinator planting (nerding out about this is great) and get to help make tangible impacts in my province. It's also a fairly long contract as far as this field goes (until Q3 2026) so I have that stability there.
That being said, I miss the field so much some days I actually cry lol. I'm not kidding myself thinking I'll be able to go back to full-time restoration and all the (almost literally) back-breaking work, but I really want something more than working with partners who get to do the fun projects. For context, I'm late 20s soon to be 30 (next year) which will bump me out of any positions that use the Canada Summer Jobs funding, which here is... a lot. And these would be the kinds of positions that might be more likely to take me on, somebody who has restoration and native plant info but not necessarily professional survey work in-field. In my current position most of the time when I'm out of office it's to go to outreach events, give talks, or (hopefully soon) visit partner sites to see what's there, provide feedback on methods, and get some pics for outreach. Again that's fun, but the administrative duties of my project coordinator role cause me so much anxiety some days, especially when I have to just be tied to my computer for long stretches of time. As somebody who worked for many years full-time outside, I hate it. So much. Which I'm sure many of you can relate to.
I'm not looking to jump ship from my current position any time soon, so I've been connecting with local groups about doing pollinator restoration and also doing some survey work with a local land trust to bump up field skills as a volunteer. That being said, I might go bonkers if my position after this one is also so largely computer-based (full time). I feel that my lack of field experience has hampered me with job applications in the past, but now I also have a physical limitation that wouldn't allow me to do habitat restoration as field crew, which is one way to get in with an org and move up. I've toyed with the idea of starting a native plant nursery, but that would require having land (we are renters here) and also upskilling a bit in my seed starting and rearing. I've thought about providing design services for native planting, but don't feel like I have enough knowledge or experience to do so. I've thought about parks since I've done interpretive hikes before and do community outreach, but don't see a whole lot around here (although I might look for seasonal positions once my current contract is up). I'm currently rooted where I'm located (in central Ontario) but it's a town that has our provincial government hubs for natural resource and environmental ministries, so there should be prospects, in theory.
Rambling over; any feel-good stories that got you away from the desk, at least for a time?