What to say when you and your boyfriend are fighting
Fridge Detective
2018.10.11 23:01 KadenCG Fridge Detective
A subreddit where you post a picture of what is in your refrigerator and people deduce things about you and your life based on your fridge.
2017.09.21 21:03 Eronine Suicide by words
A sub about self inflicted insults.
2009.04.27 05:23 What's for dinner tonight?
Let's eat!
2024.05.29 06:27 mypaisfun Congratulations Michael
You along with your family (two individuals specifically) created me into what I am today. I blame this all on you. Instead of being a man and discussing the issues with me directly, you sent your harassment attack dogs on me thinking that your little girl was this innocent child that was being harassed by some criminal. The people/family you hired took oaths to protect Americans. To protect their privacy, their freedoms, their lifestyle. Isn't it ironic that the same people hired to do this are perpetrating the exact opposite against me? I loved your daughter, but it was an illusion. A facade built on disorder.
Let me clarify things, I'm pretty certain that this abuse you are giving me originally stems from your daughter's lies about me. Let's start off with lie #1 in this post. It's what I'm doing now that you don't like me doing and I try and keep it a secret. I stopped for a year and your daughter managed to bring it on back. I'm not sure if you knew this, but your daughter knew about my extracurricular activity before everything. She knew very well what I was doing before we got married. She won't tell you that though, because she was so desperate to get married and didn't make a big deal of it. It didn't happen often until your daughter started her "Devaluation" of me and attacked me verbally, in court, and with private investigators ("agents" done from their day job ). Then it's use began to escalate to a point where I was even concerned. Sometimes we need an escape from the torture by other people (that's you and your daughter), but your torture was unrelenting. Then came the "Discard", the mounting of aggression against me. Then the harassment and visits to my home, the attacks on my technology, the destruction of my home, the lies in court attacking my character, my relationships and everything else. This was all based on that lie, and a portion of other lies. True i was doing what I was doing and there are reasons why. The fedz profiler probably can give you a summary of it.
Hell Michael, I'm a product of your own doing. But now what happened is that you've made me into the monster you always wanted me to be. But I'm still human and I'm still a decent person.
The fact of the matter is that your daughter has a problem. Instead of addressing that problem you are in absolute denial. There is nothing wrong with your perfect little angel is there? I often wonder if I was put in your shoes, what would I do. Firstly, I wouldn't be so pig-headed and close minded. Here's what I would do. I'd stop peering at the situation through a fucking clouded lens in order to get the truth and I'd metaphorically kick her in the ass, and tell her to drop her bullshit and start working with her husband for the benefits of the child. Importantly I'd tell her to stop fucking wasting all her money on this bullshit. But you came to her rescue to defend the actions of a liar., gave her money and support to attack me Oh when I was taken away, you pointed finger at me to the world, "Look, there's proof now". But in your defense, she stirred the pot and got her flying monkeys in order and ready for their attack, you being one of them. Oh this helpless little rich girl and this evil man that she married that she had no idea about. Oh God, has that story line been played out even to this day. Then you turned around and got your monkeys in order.
You don't want to protect your grandchild. You put up a good show to make it seem that way. You just want revenge for divorcing your daughter, someone that I never really knew, until after the marriage. Your daughter has a problem. I know it's difficult for you to believe such mumbo gumbo witchcraft, but it's called psychology and there is a known diagnosis in the DSM-5. You choose to ignore it. You make my life difficult. You enrich the pockets of people performing the abuse. They only give you the bad information about me, which, you believe, justifies your actions. When in actuality, this is your fault from the start. You have created these problems by a degradation of a person over a very long period of time. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I never did the things I do today until you and your daughter came along. My life is in chaos because of you. Nothing to be proud about. In my defense don't look to much into what was done by me after the marriage. They were all actions that I took to get you to stop your fucking abusive ways.
You can put an end to this all, but you choose not to. Instead of being the person fighting against a bad entity, you have become the bad entity and your actions are bad. I'd ask you to stop but you've made it apparent you wont. I'm going to start journaling again. Maybe someone will come along and ask me to publish one day. That would be cool. I would of course put you on the first page to thank for inspiring me to write this. I'll make sure the readers know what you've done.
You could stop me by making it clear to me that you're going to stop with your attacks against me or you can keep doing what you're doing. Monitoring me, harassing me, attacking me and keeping me from being 100%. With that I say sarcastically, Michael, thanks for nothing. You've made it to a level of being a bad person that does evil things, in my book and most people I've discussed you about. You've done the opposite of what you said to "protect my grandchild at all costs! blah blah blah". Instead you've made her life difficult by making the relationship with her father difficult. You've bad mouthed me and created parental alienation. You continue to destroy my life to the best of your ability. You have nothing to be proud of. I don't want anything from you or your family. Don't be so pompous when you say I ask too much. All I've asked for is to have my daughter in my life and for you and your henchmen to leave me alone.
submitted by mypaisfun to letters [link] [comments]
Let me clarify things, I'm pretty certain that this abuse you are giving me originally stems from your daughter's lies about me. Let's start off with lie #1 in this post. It's what I'm doing now that you don't like me doing and I try and keep it a secret. I stopped for a year and your daughter managed to bring it on back. I'm not sure if you knew this, but your daughter knew about my extracurricular activity before everything. She knew very well what I was doing before we got married. She won't tell you that though, because she was so desperate to get married and didn't make a big deal of it. It didn't happen often until your daughter started her "Devaluation" of me and attacked me verbally, in court, and with private investigators ("agents" done from their day job ). Then it's use began to escalate to a point where I was even concerned. Sometimes we need an escape from the torture by other people (that's you and your daughter), but your torture was unrelenting. Then came the "Discard", the mounting of aggression against me. Then the harassment and visits to my home, the attacks on my technology, the destruction of my home, the lies in court attacking my character, my relationships and everything else. This was all based on that lie, and a portion of other lies. True i was doing what I was doing and there are reasons why. The fedz profiler probably can give you a summary of it.
Hell Michael, I'm a product of your own doing. But now what happened is that you've made me into the monster you always wanted me to be. But I'm still human and I'm still a decent person.
The fact of the matter is that your daughter has a problem. Instead of addressing that problem you are in absolute denial. There is nothing wrong with your perfect little angel is there? I often wonder if I was put in your shoes, what would I do. Firstly, I wouldn't be so pig-headed and close minded. Here's what I would do. I'd stop peering at the situation through a fucking clouded lens in order to get the truth and I'd metaphorically kick her in the ass, and tell her to drop her bullshit and start working with her husband for the benefits of the child. Importantly I'd tell her to stop fucking wasting all her money on this bullshit. But you came to her rescue to defend the actions of a liar., gave her money and support to attack me Oh when I was taken away, you pointed finger at me to the world, "Look, there's proof now". But in your defense, she stirred the pot and got her flying monkeys in order and ready for their attack, you being one of them. Oh this helpless little rich girl and this evil man that she married that she had no idea about. Oh God, has that story line been played out even to this day. Then you turned around and got your monkeys in order.
You don't want to protect your grandchild. You put up a good show to make it seem that way. You just want revenge for divorcing your daughter, someone that I never really knew, until after the marriage. Your daughter has a problem. I know it's difficult for you to believe such mumbo gumbo witchcraft, but it's called psychology and there is a known diagnosis in the DSM-5. You choose to ignore it. You make my life difficult. You enrich the pockets of people performing the abuse. They only give you the bad information about me, which, you believe, justifies your actions. When in actuality, this is your fault from the start. You have created these problems by a degradation of a person over a very long period of time. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I never did the things I do today until you and your daughter came along. My life is in chaos because of you. Nothing to be proud about. In my defense don't look to much into what was done by me after the marriage. They were all actions that I took to get you to stop your fucking abusive ways.
You can put an end to this all, but you choose not to. Instead of being the person fighting against a bad entity, you have become the bad entity and your actions are bad. I'd ask you to stop but you've made it apparent you wont. I'm going to start journaling again. Maybe someone will come along and ask me to publish one day. That would be cool. I would of course put you on the first page to thank for inspiring me to write this. I'll make sure the readers know what you've done.
You could stop me by making it clear to me that you're going to stop with your attacks against me or you can keep doing what you're doing. Monitoring me, harassing me, attacking me and keeping me from being 100%. With that I say sarcastically, Michael, thanks for nothing. You've made it to a level of being a bad person that does evil things, in my book and most people I've discussed you about. You've done the opposite of what you said to "protect my grandchild at all costs! blah blah blah". Instead you've made her life difficult by making the relationship with her father difficult. You've bad mouthed me and created parental alienation. You continue to destroy my life to the best of your ability. You have nothing to be proud of. I don't want anything from you or your family. Don't be so pompous when you say I ask too much. All I've asked for is to have my daughter in my life and for you and your henchmen to leave me alone.
2024.05.29 06:27 dazzlinggleam1 My (F19) boyfriend (M20) gets mad when I bring up anything
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2.5 years and are about to move into our first apartment together. Right now I am house sitting for my grandma who is out of town 90% of the summer. My bf doesn’t like his mom so he has been staying with me lately. I go to the grocery store and buy groceries, then I unload them. Tonight I cooked dinner and cleaned up including running the dishwasher. I asked my boyfriend if he can please take out the trash after we got back from our walk.
A few hours later we are back from the walk and relaxing. I go to get water and I noticed he left an empty pop bottle, trash from his snack and a mostly empty water bottle. When I go to throw it away I see the trash still entirely full. When I told him I was mad because I asked for one simple thing, all hell broke loose. He began saying “you think I’m such a fuck up” and “I guess I can’t do anything right”. I will admit I raised my voice but I said “all I ask is one simple thing especially since you’re a guest here”. He continued to yell at me and walk up the stairs so I said “come back down when you’re done with your tantrum”. He hasn’t talked to me since.
What can I do here? How do I get him to help out??
TLDR: how am I supposed to get my man to do chores? Preferably in a way that doesn’t upset him
submitted by dazzlinggleam1 to relationships [link] [comments]
A few hours later we are back from the walk and relaxing. I go to get water and I noticed he left an empty pop bottle, trash from his snack and a mostly empty water bottle. When I go to throw it away I see the trash still entirely full. When I told him I was mad because I asked for one simple thing, all hell broke loose. He began saying “you think I’m such a fuck up” and “I guess I can’t do anything right”. I will admit I raised my voice but I said “all I ask is one simple thing especially since you’re a guest here”. He continued to yell at me and walk up the stairs so I said “come back down when you’re done with your tantrum”. He hasn’t talked to me since.
What can I do here? How do I get him to help out??
TLDR: how am I supposed to get my man to do chores? Preferably in a way that doesn’t upset him
2024.05.29 06:25 Own_Tailor9802 Korea is really special to me
My name is Jessica, and I live in a small central American city of about 80,000 people.Today I'm going to share a story about Korea.First, I'd like to tell you a little bit about my family.When I was born, I already had an older brother.I don't mean just a little sister with an older brother.My brother was adopted from Korea.It's an unusual situation, isn't it? My parents struggled with infertility for several years before I was born, and they ended up adopting my Korean brother.Then, a few years later, they got pregnant with me, and I was born.My brother had different hair color, skin color, and eye color than me, but we got along very well.Even though we knew from a young age that we were adopted because of our differences, we got along well, and we were a family that loved each other deeply.
We played the same games, read books together, and spent a lot of time together. He always took good care of me, and he was a good brother who made me laugh.
I would say, “Brother, let's read this book together!” and he would always smile and read it to me. I think I liked and enjoyed his warmth to me, rather than focusing on the content of the book.
When we left our cozy home environment, it was time to go to school, and during this time, my brother and I were asked a lot of embarrassing questions.One day, while my brother and I were playing together, a friend asked me, “Jessica, why does your brother look different from you?”The question gave me pause, but he smiled and replied, “Because we are a family, looks don't matter. His positive attitude had a good effect on me, and I'm sure he had a good effect on himself, too.Watching him grow up right, and our family became interested in Korea. If he was a troublemaker and always in trouble, he wouldn't have had the time to take the time to learn about his country of origin, Korea, but when he studied well, didn't fight with his friends, and was a good person who always loved and cared for his brother, we couldn't help but wonder about his roots.
I think my parents also had the will to share Korean culture with my brother and me, to learn what they could, to broaden our horizons and deepen our family's understanding.Many years ago, when I was in middle school, my family visited Korea for the first time, and the experience left a great impression on me.
We visited many tourist spots in Seoul and saw the harmonious combination of Korean tradition and modernity.And Korea, with its many dark-haired, dark-eyed people like my brother, was somehow not foreign to me.For Americans traveling to Asia for the first time, this could have been difficult because people look different and give off different vibes, but not for me. My parents, of course, were very excited to revisit Korea, the country of my brother's birth, and spoke so many blessings about the land of my brother's birth.Of course, there were many good things to see and many fun things to do in Korea, but the most memorable moment was when I suddenly developed a high fever.
It was a quiet night in Korea at the time, and I suddenly developed a high fever.This change was so sudden that my parents panicked.Eventually, with the help of the hotel we were staying at, they were able to get me to the emergency room in Korea, where I was quickly treated.Upon arrival, the medical staff quickly assessed my condition and ran the necessary tests.The whole process was organized, and thanks to the professionalism and quick response of the medical staff, I was able to get comfortable quickly. My situation was so serious that my head hurt like a rock and I could barely understand what was being said around me, but thanks to their quick response, my fever started to come down and I was able to return to my senses.The tests showed that I had a severe flu, which had been contracted in the United States and had incubated in Korea.I had to stop traveling in Korea and be admitted to the hospital for treatment, but thanks to the fast and efficient healthcare system in Korea, this was not a problem.
My parents breathed a sigh of relief and expressed their deep gratitude to the Korean healthcare system.“If it wasn't for Korea, I would have been in trouble,” my father said.Although my family had to stop our trip to Korea and spend the rest of my stay in a Korean hospital, looking back, it was also a unique experience abroad.
Many years later, as an adult, my relationship with my brother was still good. We enjoyed Korean dramas, movies, and music together, cooked Korean food together, and learned Korean together.
However, there was a clear difference between me and him: he seemed to be better at learning, even if he spent the same amount of time studying, and he went to a prestigious university, while I failed to get into college and became depressed.
He helped me with my studies every vacation, taught me how to study, and helped me to get into a prestigious university, but the results were not good. I was rejected by all the universities I applied to, and I was going through a very difficult time. After he graduated from college, he moved back home from the East Coast of the United States and helped me study for the college entrance exam, and with his help, I was able to get into college, albeit late.
Although I didn't get into a prestigious university like my brother, I still had a satisfying college experience and broadened my horizons.Naturally, I discovered that Korea has been on the global radar lately, which was very exciting.Korea may be the latest trend for Americans these days, but for me and my brother, it's like going back to our roots.I've always loved Korea, and it was very interesting and fond to reminisce about my trip to Korea when I was in middle school and look through my photo albums, even though half the time I was sick. So, my brother and I decided to visit Korea again, and this time, we had several goals for the trip: we wanted to make sure that we got it right this time, because we didn't get it right the first time, and my brother wanted to get to know his Korean roots better, even though he is now an adult, working as an American and living as an American, and I wanted to get to know my Korean roots better in relation to my major in college, and this time, I wanted to research more about the Korean healthcare system that I had experienced as a child.
Of course, I also wanted to have fun in Korea and enjoy the freedom to roam around the country unlike when I was a student, but I didn't take it too seriously.
Korea was so different from the U.S. It had the look of a big city in the U.S., but it had its own unique vibe. It was much more developed than the neighborhoods we live in in the U.S., and everywhere you looked was filled with people, and there were hundreds or thousands of stores selling a variety of things. If you were walking around and traveling, and you got thirsty and needed a break, there were cafes all around you that you could just pop into and take a break, and you didn't have to go far to find a restaurant that had one Korean food and sold it, because all the infrastructure was there.
Everything is around you, and everything you want or need is always right around the corner, which is why people call city life so convenient and love it.The public transportation system in Korea, which is light years better than the big cities in the U.S., helped us get around without any difficulty.It was also so much fun to get a T-money card, carry it around, and use it to get around Korea for a very low cost.
And when my brother and I would walk around, going to cafes, restaurants, and other places where there was something to do, many Koreans would tell us that we made a good looking couple.When I would tell them, in a pleasant and complimentary way, that we were actually brother and sister, they would look surprised and apologize.
But it's completely understandable, because even in the U.S., more people think of us as a couple or friends than they do as siblings, and there's not much of an adoption culture in Korea, and no one adopts and brings European or American children to Korea, so it's no wonder we get these funny misunderstandings.
To be honest, even in the U.S. nowadays, you can still encounter people who ask my brother and I questions about our relationship with unpleasant intentions to hurt us, assuming that we are not a couple or friends, but maybe even a man.A recent memory is of an American grandfather in his 70s who made a very rude remark to us, asking us what kind of father our father was to have two women give birth at the same time.
In the U.S., most people are friendly and kind to me, but the problem is that some people sometimes make fun of my brother because he looks Asian, but this was not the case in Korea at all.No one discriminated against me because of my different appearance.
And there's actually a story I wasn't going to tell in this article, but I'm writing it down because I had my brother's permission to do so.After arriving in Korea, we decided to search for my adopted brother's birth parents in order to trace his roots.My parents and I respected his decision to pursue this endeavor in Korea, and of course, we decided to support it. We visited the Korean adoption agency and requested my brother's adoption records.The representative provided us with all the information possible and was eager to help us, saying that efforts to find one's roots are ongoing every day.Together, we were able to find some important clues in the records.
My brother decided to visit his birthplace based on those clues, and of course, I joined him on the journey.We were always laughing since we came to Korea, but at this moment, there was more seriousness than laughter.We visited my brother's birthplace together and talked to the local people.
At the time, there was only a vague record of my brother's father and mother, but no proper records, so we only knew where he was born, and we had to go there and find someone who had lived there for a long time.But Korea is a very fast-developing country, and the sad thing is that the area where my brother was born and spent the first few months of his life was already torn down and replaced by a huge apartment complex. We felt that if we had come sooner, at least before these new apartments were built, things would have been at least better than they were, but there was no point in regretting what had passed.We visited the social welfare center and police station in the area, explained our situation, and asked for help.The Korean people were very kind, listening to my brother's story and letting us know what we could do.
We were told that when a new apartment building is built in Korea, new people who have no connection to the area move into the apartment, but that some of the people who live in these new apartments have been living here for a long time, most likely elderly people, and that the best thing to do is to find them and ask them about their past.We felt that this information would be very useful to us, as we were very confused and frustrated.
So my brother and I, along with a Korean lady who felt sorry for us and wanted to help, approached the elderly people who came in and out of the apartment and asked them questions.But despite all our efforts, we were unsuccessful in finding my brother's biological parents.We had many clues and information, but we were unable to find any conclusive evidence.My brother was disappointed, but we were comforted by the fact that we had done our best. Maybe if we could have spent a few weeks, maybe even a few months here to find and talk to an elderly person with memories of the past, we could have found a clue to the solution, but we couldn't stay in Korea, so in the end, we had to give up without proceeding any further.When I saw the look on my brother's face as he said that if he had the chance, he would visit Korea next time for this sole purpose, I felt a great sense of disappointment.“It's a shame that we couldn't find them, but thank you for trying,” he said to me.I couldn't say it anymore.
It would have been great if he could have completed his homework, but he didn't.Contrary to my initial expectations, the Korean adoption agency tried to be as helpful as possible, and I was very grateful to the government officials in the place of my brother's supposed birth, who were very sympathetic to his situation and actively tried to help him, and to the Korean lady who passed by.
Having been treated by the Korean healthcare system in the past, I took this level of care for granted and thought that it was something that everyone could enjoy, but then, when I was a high school student in the U.S., I was seriously ill and did not receive the same care as I did in Korea, so I remember suffering terribly and tried to understand why this difference occurred.
Before I came to Korea, I had already arranged to meet with someone, and although I didn't get to visit any specialized institutions, I was able to meet with Korean college students, and I learned a lot of information from them: medical students, pharmacy students, and I was able to get a lot of information from them.
The Korean healthcare system was different from the U.S. in many ways: it was fast, efficient, and provided a high level of care at a relatively low cost.The quick response and organized system for emergencies was especially impressive.The emergency rooms in Korea were very reasonably priced, allowing people to go to them for minor and mild symptoms.At this point, I thought that if there were a lot of people going to the emergency room for minor symptoms, it would be a problem if someone came in who needed emergency care, but the hospitals in Korea made it very easy to answer that question. I also learned that when a really urgent patient comes in, the emergency room prioritizes the emergency patients and treats them first, ignoring the minor ones. It's so simple and obvious: the doctors have the skills to determine the severity of the patient's condition, and they can prioritize the treatment accordingly.
Not only that, but it was very easy to get an appointment in Korea and the wait time was short. The Korean medical staff emphasized patient care and prompt treatment, and they utilized the latest medical technology and equipment to provide the best possible medical care.
In the U.S., medical care is often very expensive, complicated, and difficult to access quickly, and many people are unable to get proper treatment due to insurance issues.I also received prompt treatment in Korea when I was in middle school without insurance and had to pay a reasonable price, but the experience was a nightmare as I remember being very sick in middle school and high school, and I felt that the Korean system was far superior.I felt that the Korean healthcare system is not for profit, but is dedicated to protecting the health of the people.
Through my experiences in Korea, I learned about a much broader world than what my brother and I knew before.There are many factors that make Korea such a great country, but the culture and system that my brother and I experienced firsthand helped us understand why.And most of all, Korea is the country that made my brother.I have grateful feelings for Korea, which is also my brother's roots.
My brother and I could tell without speaking to each other that through this visit, we saw in each other a willingness to continue to love Korea more and more, and to strive to learn and understand Korean culture.
Korea is now a country that has special meaning to me as an adult, and I think it will be a great pleasure for me to honor my brother's roots and watch Korea develop and grow.I will continue to connect with Korea and try to help more people discover its charms.
And next year, he plans to visit Korea to find his roots once again. He plans to stay in Korea for more than a month, and he will continue his best efforts during that period.
submitted by Own_Tailor9802 to u/Own_Tailor9802 [link] [comments]
We played the same games, read books together, and spent a lot of time together. He always took good care of me, and he was a good brother who made me laugh.
I would say, “Brother, let's read this book together!” and he would always smile and read it to me. I think I liked and enjoyed his warmth to me, rather than focusing on the content of the book.
When we left our cozy home environment, it was time to go to school, and during this time, my brother and I were asked a lot of embarrassing questions.One day, while my brother and I were playing together, a friend asked me, “Jessica, why does your brother look different from you?”The question gave me pause, but he smiled and replied, “Because we are a family, looks don't matter. His positive attitude had a good effect on me, and I'm sure he had a good effect on himself, too.Watching him grow up right, and our family became interested in Korea. If he was a troublemaker and always in trouble, he wouldn't have had the time to take the time to learn about his country of origin, Korea, but when he studied well, didn't fight with his friends, and was a good person who always loved and cared for his brother, we couldn't help but wonder about his roots.
I think my parents also had the will to share Korean culture with my brother and me, to learn what they could, to broaden our horizons and deepen our family's understanding.Many years ago, when I was in middle school, my family visited Korea for the first time, and the experience left a great impression on me.
We visited many tourist spots in Seoul and saw the harmonious combination of Korean tradition and modernity.And Korea, with its many dark-haired, dark-eyed people like my brother, was somehow not foreign to me.For Americans traveling to Asia for the first time, this could have been difficult because people look different and give off different vibes, but not for me. My parents, of course, were very excited to revisit Korea, the country of my brother's birth, and spoke so many blessings about the land of my brother's birth.Of course, there were many good things to see and many fun things to do in Korea, but the most memorable moment was when I suddenly developed a high fever.
It was a quiet night in Korea at the time, and I suddenly developed a high fever.This change was so sudden that my parents panicked.Eventually, with the help of the hotel we were staying at, they were able to get me to the emergency room in Korea, where I was quickly treated.Upon arrival, the medical staff quickly assessed my condition and ran the necessary tests.The whole process was organized, and thanks to the professionalism and quick response of the medical staff, I was able to get comfortable quickly. My situation was so serious that my head hurt like a rock and I could barely understand what was being said around me, but thanks to their quick response, my fever started to come down and I was able to return to my senses.The tests showed that I had a severe flu, which had been contracted in the United States and had incubated in Korea.I had to stop traveling in Korea and be admitted to the hospital for treatment, but thanks to the fast and efficient healthcare system in Korea, this was not a problem.
My parents breathed a sigh of relief and expressed their deep gratitude to the Korean healthcare system.“If it wasn't for Korea, I would have been in trouble,” my father said.Although my family had to stop our trip to Korea and spend the rest of my stay in a Korean hospital, looking back, it was also a unique experience abroad.
Many years later, as an adult, my relationship with my brother was still good. We enjoyed Korean dramas, movies, and music together, cooked Korean food together, and learned Korean together.
However, there was a clear difference between me and him: he seemed to be better at learning, even if he spent the same amount of time studying, and he went to a prestigious university, while I failed to get into college and became depressed.
He helped me with my studies every vacation, taught me how to study, and helped me to get into a prestigious university, but the results were not good. I was rejected by all the universities I applied to, and I was going through a very difficult time. After he graduated from college, he moved back home from the East Coast of the United States and helped me study for the college entrance exam, and with his help, I was able to get into college, albeit late.
Although I didn't get into a prestigious university like my brother, I still had a satisfying college experience and broadened my horizons.Naturally, I discovered that Korea has been on the global radar lately, which was very exciting.Korea may be the latest trend for Americans these days, but for me and my brother, it's like going back to our roots.I've always loved Korea, and it was very interesting and fond to reminisce about my trip to Korea when I was in middle school and look through my photo albums, even though half the time I was sick. So, my brother and I decided to visit Korea again, and this time, we had several goals for the trip: we wanted to make sure that we got it right this time, because we didn't get it right the first time, and my brother wanted to get to know his Korean roots better, even though he is now an adult, working as an American and living as an American, and I wanted to get to know my Korean roots better in relation to my major in college, and this time, I wanted to research more about the Korean healthcare system that I had experienced as a child.
Of course, I also wanted to have fun in Korea and enjoy the freedom to roam around the country unlike when I was a student, but I didn't take it too seriously.
Korea was so different from the U.S. It had the look of a big city in the U.S., but it had its own unique vibe. It was much more developed than the neighborhoods we live in in the U.S., and everywhere you looked was filled with people, and there were hundreds or thousands of stores selling a variety of things. If you were walking around and traveling, and you got thirsty and needed a break, there were cafes all around you that you could just pop into and take a break, and you didn't have to go far to find a restaurant that had one Korean food and sold it, because all the infrastructure was there.
Everything is around you, and everything you want or need is always right around the corner, which is why people call city life so convenient and love it.The public transportation system in Korea, which is light years better than the big cities in the U.S., helped us get around without any difficulty.It was also so much fun to get a T-money card, carry it around, and use it to get around Korea for a very low cost.
And when my brother and I would walk around, going to cafes, restaurants, and other places where there was something to do, many Koreans would tell us that we made a good looking couple.When I would tell them, in a pleasant and complimentary way, that we were actually brother and sister, they would look surprised and apologize.
But it's completely understandable, because even in the U.S., more people think of us as a couple or friends than they do as siblings, and there's not much of an adoption culture in Korea, and no one adopts and brings European or American children to Korea, so it's no wonder we get these funny misunderstandings.
To be honest, even in the U.S. nowadays, you can still encounter people who ask my brother and I questions about our relationship with unpleasant intentions to hurt us, assuming that we are not a couple or friends, but maybe even a man.A recent memory is of an American grandfather in his 70s who made a very rude remark to us, asking us what kind of father our father was to have two women give birth at the same time.
In the U.S., most people are friendly and kind to me, but the problem is that some people sometimes make fun of my brother because he looks Asian, but this was not the case in Korea at all.No one discriminated against me because of my different appearance.
And there's actually a story I wasn't going to tell in this article, but I'm writing it down because I had my brother's permission to do so.After arriving in Korea, we decided to search for my adopted brother's birth parents in order to trace his roots.My parents and I respected his decision to pursue this endeavor in Korea, and of course, we decided to support it. We visited the Korean adoption agency and requested my brother's adoption records.The representative provided us with all the information possible and was eager to help us, saying that efforts to find one's roots are ongoing every day.Together, we were able to find some important clues in the records.
My brother decided to visit his birthplace based on those clues, and of course, I joined him on the journey.We were always laughing since we came to Korea, but at this moment, there was more seriousness than laughter.We visited my brother's birthplace together and talked to the local people.
At the time, there was only a vague record of my brother's father and mother, but no proper records, so we only knew where he was born, and we had to go there and find someone who had lived there for a long time.But Korea is a very fast-developing country, and the sad thing is that the area where my brother was born and spent the first few months of his life was already torn down and replaced by a huge apartment complex. We felt that if we had come sooner, at least before these new apartments were built, things would have been at least better than they were, but there was no point in regretting what had passed.We visited the social welfare center and police station in the area, explained our situation, and asked for help.The Korean people were very kind, listening to my brother's story and letting us know what we could do.
We were told that when a new apartment building is built in Korea, new people who have no connection to the area move into the apartment, but that some of the people who live in these new apartments have been living here for a long time, most likely elderly people, and that the best thing to do is to find them and ask them about their past.We felt that this information would be very useful to us, as we were very confused and frustrated.
So my brother and I, along with a Korean lady who felt sorry for us and wanted to help, approached the elderly people who came in and out of the apartment and asked them questions.But despite all our efforts, we were unsuccessful in finding my brother's biological parents.We had many clues and information, but we were unable to find any conclusive evidence.My brother was disappointed, but we were comforted by the fact that we had done our best. Maybe if we could have spent a few weeks, maybe even a few months here to find and talk to an elderly person with memories of the past, we could have found a clue to the solution, but we couldn't stay in Korea, so in the end, we had to give up without proceeding any further.When I saw the look on my brother's face as he said that if he had the chance, he would visit Korea next time for this sole purpose, I felt a great sense of disappointment.“It's a shame that we couldn't find them, but thank you for trying,” he said to me.I couldn't say it anymore.
It would have been great if he could have completed his homework, but he didn't.Contrary to my initial expectations, the Korean adoption agency tried to be as helpful as possible, and I was very grateful to the government officials in the place of my brother's supposed birth, who were very sympathetic to his situation and actively tried to help him, and to the Korean lady who passed by.
Having been treated by the Korean healthcare system in the past, I took this level of care for granted and thought that it was something that everyone could enjoy, but then, when I was a high school student in the U.S., I was seriously ill and did not receive the same care as I did in Korea, so I remember suffering terribly and tried to understand why this difference occurred.
Before I came to Korea, I had already arranged to meet with someone, and although I didn't get to visit any specialized institutions, I was able to meet with Korean college students, and I learned a lot of information from them: medical students, pharmacy students, and I was able to get a lot of information from them.
The Korean healthcare system was different from the U.S. in many ways: it was fast, efficient, and provided a high level of care at a relatively low cost.The quick response and organized system for emergencies was especially impressive.The emergency rooms in Korea were very reasonably priced, allowing people to go to them for minor and mild symptoms.At this point, I thought that if there were a lot of people going to the emergency room for minor symptoms, it would be a problem if someone came in who needed emergency care, but the hospitals in Korea made it very easy to answer that question. I also learned that when a really urgent patient comes in, the emergency room prioritizes the emergency patients and treats them first, ignoring the minor ones. It's so simple and obvious: the doctors have the skills to determine the severity of the patient's condition, and they can prioritize the treatment accordingly.
Not only that, but it was very easy to get an appointment in Korea and the wait time was short. The Korean medical staff emphasized patient care and prompt treatment, and they utilized the latest medical technology and equipment to provide the best possible medical care.
In the U.S., medical care is often very expensive, complicated, and difficult to access quickly, and many people are unable to get proper treatment due to insurance issues.I also received prompt treatment in Korea when I was in middle school without insurance and had to pay a reasonable price, but the experience was a nightmare as I remember being very sick in middle school and high school, and I felt that the Korean system was far superior.I felt that the Korean healthcare system is not for profit, but is dedicated to protecting the health of the people.
Through my experiences in Korea, I learned about a much broader world than what my brother and I knew before.There are many factors that make Korea such a great country, but the culture and system that my brother and I experienced firsthand helped us understand why.And most of all, Korea is the country that made my brother.I have grateful feelings for Korea, which is also my brother's roots.
My brother and I could tell without speaking to each other that through this visit, we saw in each other a willingness to continue to love Korea more and more, and to strive to learn and understand Korean culture.
Korea is now a country that has special meaning to me as an adult, and I think it will be a great pleasure for me to honor my brother's roots and watch Korea develop and grow.I will continue to connect with Korea and try to help more people discover its charms.
And next year, he plans to visit Korea to find his roots once again. He plans to stay in Korea for more than a month, and he will continue his best efforts during that period.
2024.05.29 06:20 Only-Complex-7041 I feel like I keep restarting
I feel like I have to start from the beginning....again
Trigger Warning mention about suicide. Self harm and ideation. Domestic and emotional abuse.
Long post alert
I'm sorry if this isn't isn't right sub for this. But I've been watching vids on YouTube about surviving the abuse. And it's been triggering? Even though I thought I was over this. But I keep getting flashbacks AGAIN lately.
For some back story,
I'm 29F got together with this man not long after highschool. Turning 19. He was 7 years older than me. Looking back I feel he may have preyed on me since I was friends with his brother in highschool. I have complex ptsd and major depressive disorder. Generalized anxiety disorder.
Its been a little less than 2 years since i left. He technically broke up first with me but i was like well if you feel that way than imma go. I was miserable and over his shit by that point. Felt trapped. So i took that as my sign as im free. Cause he can't be upset with me if he ends it, right? I saw the opportunity and ran with it.
Didnt say a damn thing while I packed. Sulked on the bed instead. I even talked with his daughter who was 15 at the time, had the talk with her how me and her dad weren't gonna work out. Reassured her that it was not her fault and i would love to still remain in her life. She was the only daughter i ever had. Was involved in her life for 4 years. He didnt wanna join the discussion so i did what needed to be done for his daughters sake. I sadly passed her each time going out the door to put my things in the car. She was in the living room. So upward I go to my mom's, I called her and she had no hesitation when I asked to come home.
Once I get to my parents, he starts blowing me up. Spam messaging and calling and I told him I needed time to think. "We'd been together almost 9 years and your gone all day and send me a long breakup text after you finally get home and I'm in the shower. This is literally what you asked for, and youre broken up about it? How do you think i feel" Were my thoughts
I came back the next day cause he threatened suicide and i was genuinely scared. Called police. Told him i think well be ok if you get some help and stayed for a month or so when he just got worse. I didnt know at the time he relapsed. His emotional abuse and trying to control me grew errily intense from what i was used to. Was saying I was starting an argument anytime I was trying ti communicate because he would just not.
Throughout our time together, at least living together, He'd go from saying and doing things like
"These are the conversations that are gonna make me put a bullet in my head" Getting angry at something so miniscule and breaking things like he always did, it had just extremely escalated to him trashing the apartment. Timing how long I'd be out at the store or at a work meeting. Didn't work and took full advantage of the stimulus checks and 600 unemployment every week during covid, which he spent on everything but rent. Which later down the road is why our landlords sued us.
I almost got 2 jobs. I nickled and dimed every mf thing to make ends meet. Living paycheck to paycheck. While he's gloating about what he just ordered. Than stressing about how he has no money for rent the next week. He ran my PayPal into debt and almost fucked my credit up. With his spending and the fact that we were being sued. I had to pay for everything. I saved his ass so many times. For almost a fkn decade. I kept saying if I help him he'll be caught up right? But than he'd run his debt in again. He sucked every pen y put of ALMOST all my inheritance money. Talking thousands.
He'd constantly complain about the car I bought him in full. We couldn't drive my car around because it was embarrassing for a women to drive her man around. I always had to be with him when he was doing whatever. Couldn't have any me time. He'd get upset at me gaming and streaming for 2 hours while he'd be at the gym for 4 hours.
Always put me down. Disencouraged any self care routines I'd try cause they'd take too long. Genuinely got pissed at me if I was falling asleep before he did. Give me a hard time if I didn't get the right brand items at the store or even groceries.
Nothing I did was right or enough. Over 100k wasn't enough money. No amount of hours I worked were enough to escape his rath. Nothing I did was fast enough. I used to tell him my life wasn't the drivethru timing at my old job. At some point I just gave up fighting him on it.
He sucked the life outta me. My optimism I'd always have and encouraged him with was gone. This was the life I was meant to live I'd think. I was planning a suicide and self harming shortly after my return back to him. Which was about a month later. I was convinced everyoned wanted me dead. I was just a tool. Only good for money, errands, chores, and BJs. I was just an object to him. Nothing more and much less.
I left again end of october 2022 when i thought he was cheating. He hid my stuff in the closet when a girl came over. Always said he was lusting over other women. Always showed me pics of men and women and would ask me if id fuck them. Said it was ok to find people attractive.
Got to the last straw, left, and didnt look back. Not until i got to my parents did i realize he was emotionally abusive. I stayed ferm on my boundaries. He commited suicide less than 2 months after i left. Blamed me in his note, which was a rewritten version of another he left at the house after the first time i left.
Blaming me and giving me one last fuck you was more important to him to stay in his daughters life. He abandoned his siblings. I felt such a fucked up irony at the time cause it was alnost me. Now i dont feel guilty cause I know it's not my fault. saddly if he was still alive id be in such fear of my life. I was debating filing a restraining order the morning we found him.
The beginning of our relationship was extremely hard to handle. Probably the most difficult before we moved in together. I may have even dissociatrd through most of it? Im not sure how i survived while trying to take care of him. He was also homeless . He was occastionally physical like pushing. He threatened to kill me after hitting me once. But at thr time it happened i blamed myself cause he held everything over my head and i thought i deserved it. I blamed it on his drug use and drinking. I also hit him forst for saying harsh diragitory things to me. He was arrested the next day for breaking into a cops house. That night didnt exist to him and was denied anytime I brought it up(except the day after he broke down and apologized) he was always the victim.
Those early years before we moved in together are still hard to resinate with.
Why are his words in my voice in my head still? After all this time and therapy since his death. Its almost like im controlling myself thr way hed control me? I thougt ive come to terms with the emotional abuse and his death. Multiple times already. I even spread his ashes for fucks sake. And yet his energy still lingers. Not as bad as before granted. But my god man go tf away!
Maybe i repressed the physical occasions? And thr financial abuse? Again I was with him for 9 years. Lived with him for about 5-6 give or take.
Idk Why all this still haunts me? Idk How long it'll take until I find myself again, I thought I already have! Hes just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my trauma and i keep feeling like im back at square one.
I don't feel anxious or depressed even typing this. I just feel so lost. In the wrong world. Like im not cut out for life cause i have too much trauma. Too much baggage. Its too much too vent often to the people in my life now as i go through IOP. I don't wanna be in survival mode forever. Thanks for reading. Any advice is appreciated
submitted by Only-Complex-7041 to LifeAfterNarcissism [link] [comments]
Trigger Warning mention about suicide. Self harm and ideation. Domestic and emotional abuse.
Long post alert
I'm sorry if this isn't isn't right sub for this. But I've been watching vids on YouTube about surviving the abuse. And it's been triggering? Even though I thought I was over this. But I keep getting flashbacks AGAIN lately.
For some back story,
I'm 29F got together with this man not long after highschool. Turning 19. He was 7 years older than me. Looking back I feel he may have preyed on me since I was friends with his brother in highschool. I have complex ptsd and major depressive disorder. Generalized anxiety disorder.
Its been a little less than 2 years since i left. He technically broke up first with me but i was like well if you feel that way than imma go. I was miserable and over his shit by that point. Felt trapped. So i took that as my sign as im free. Cause he can't be upset with me if he ends it, right? I saw the opportunity and ran with it.
Didnt say a damn thing while I packed. Sulked on the bed instead. I even talked with his daughter who was 15 at the time, had the talk with her how me and her dad weren't gonna work out. Reassured her that it was not her fault and i would love to still remain in her life. She was the only daughter i ever had. Was involved in her life for 4 years. He didnt wanna join the discussion so i did what needed to be done for his daughters sake. I sadly passed her each time going out the door to put my things in the car. She was in the living room. So upward I go to my mom's, I called her and she had no hesitation when I asked to come home.
Once I get to my parents, he starts blowing me up. Spam messaging and calling and I told him I needed time to think. "We'd been together almost 9 years and your gone all day and send me a long breakup text after you finally get home and I'm in the shower. This is literally what you asked for, and youre broken up about it? How do you think i feel" Were my thoughts
I came back the next day cause he threatened suicide and i was genuinely scared. Called police. Told him i think well be ok if you get some help and stayed for a month or so when he just got worse. I didnt know at the time he relapsed. His emotional abuse and trying to control me grew errily intense from what i was used to. Was saying I was starting an argument anytime I was trying ti communicate because he would just not.
Throughout our time together, at least living together, He'd go from saying and doing things like
"These are the conversations that are gonna make me put a bullet in my head" Getting angry at something so miniscule and breaking things like he always did, it had just extremely escalated to him trashing the apartment. Timing how long I'd be out at the store or at a work meeting. Didn't work and took full advantage of the stimulus checks and 600 unemployment every week during covid, which he spent on everything but rent. Which later down the road is why our landlords sued us.
I almost got 2 jobs. I nickled and dimed every mf thing to make ends meet. Living paycheck to paycheck. While he's gloating about what he just ordered. Than stressing about how he has no money for rent the next week. He ran my PayPal into debt and almost fucked my credit up. With his spending and the fact that we were being sued. I had to pay for everything. I saved his ass so many times. For almost a fkn decade. I kept saying if I help him he'll be caught up right? But than he'd run his debt in again. He sucked every pen y put of ALMOST all my inheritance money. Talking thousands.
He'd constantly complain about the car I bought him in full. We couldn't drive my car around because it was embarrassing for a women to drive her man around. I always had to be with him when he was doing whatever. Couldn't have any me time. He'd get upset at me gaming and streaming for 2 hours while he'd be at the gym for 4 hours.
Always put me down. Disencouraged any self care routines I'd try cause they'd take too long. Genuinely got pissed at me if I was falling asleep before he did. Give me a hard time if I didn't get the right brand items at the store or even groceries.
Nothing I did was right or enough. Over 100k wasn't enough money. No amount of hours I worked were enough to escape his rath. Nothing I did was fast enough. I used to tell him my life wasn't the drivethru timing at my old job. At some point I just gave up fighting him on it.
He sucked the life outta me. My optimism I'd always have and encouraged him with was gone. This was the life I was meant to live I'd think. I was planning a suicide and self harming shortly after my return back to him. Which was about a month later. I was convinced everyoned wanted me dead. I was just a tool. Only good for money, errands, chores, and BJs. I was just an object to him. Nothing more and much less.
I left again end of october 2022 when i thought he was cheating. He hid my stuff in the closet when a girl came over. Always said he was lusting over other women. Always showed me pics of men and women and would ask me if id fuck them. Said it was ok to find people attractive.
Got to the last straw, left, and didnt look back. Not until i got to my parents did i realize he was emotionally abusive. I stayed ferm on my boundaries. He commited suicide less than 2 months after i left. Blamed me in his note, which was a rewritten version of another he left at the house after the first time i left.
Blaming me and giving me one last fuck you was more important to him to stay in his daughters life. He abandoned his siblings. I felt such a fucked up irony at the time cause it was alnost me. Now i dont feel guilty cause I know it's not my fault. saddly if he was still alive id be in such fear of my life. I was debating filing a restraining order the morning we found him.
The beginning of our relationship was extremely hard to handle. Probably the most difficult before we moved in together. I may have even dissociatrd through most of it? Im not sure how i survived while trying to take care of him. He was also homeless . He was occastionally physical like pushing. He threatened to kill me after hitting me once. But at thr time it happened i blamed myself cause he held everything over my head and i thought i deserved it. I blamed it on his drug use and drinking. I also hit him forst for saying harsh diragitory things to me. He was arrested the next day for breaking into a cops house. That night didnt exist to him and was denied anytime I brought it up(except the day after he broke down and apologized) he was always the victim.
Those early years before we moved in together are still hard to resinate with.
Why are his words in my voice in my head still? After all this time and therapy since his death. Its almost like im controlling myself thr way hed control me? I thougt ive come to terms with the emotional abuse and his death. Multiple times already. I even spread his ashes for fucks sake. And yet his energy still lingers. Not as bad as before granted. But my god man go tf away!
Maybe i repressed the physical occasions? And thr financial abuse? Again I was with him for 9 years. Lived with him for about 5-6 give or take.
Idk Why all this still haunts me? Idk How long it'll take until I find myself again, I thought I already have! Hes just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my trauma and i keep feeling like im back at square one.
I don't feel anxious or depressed even typing this. I just feel so lost. In the wrong world. Like im not cut out for life cause i have too much trauma. Too much baggage. Its too much too vent often to the people in my life now as i go through IOP. I don't wanna be in survival mode forever. Thanks for reading. Any advice is appreciated
2024.05.29 06:15 __Sherman__ Is my (M21) and Ex gfs (F21) relationship salvageable? So checked out I just need unbiased opinions
I (M21) and ex-girlfriend (F21) I’ll call her Kate, have had an on/off relationship for 6 years. We met/reconnected in June of 2018 after having previously gone to elementary and middle school together until her mother pulled her from school.
Kate reached out to me during the summer between our freshman and sophomore year and we instantly hit it off. I ended up asking Kate to be my girlfriend in August of 2018 and we dated until March of 2019, we split for reasons I honestly don’t remember, we were 15/16 so it was likely something trivial. We both dated other people during summer 2019 and got back together in September 2019 after realizing the people we were with were essentially distractions that suppressed our feelings for each other.
After that, we dated from September 2019 until April of 2021. In October of 2020 Kate began receiving text messages from a bi-curious woman who had supposedly saw her at a party and asked her to indulge in her fantasies and would text Kate throughout the night, writing paragraphs about the things she wanted to do to her. It was revealed that this bi-curious women was actually her brother in-law and after a 2 week therapy course in Tennessee for his “sex addiction” Kate’s family allowed him back into the family and dismissed Kate’s feelings towards her predator, going as far as inviting him to family party’s and intentionally not inviting her as to not cause any drama. So to say Kate’s relationship with her family is on the rocks is an understatement. 2021 was my senior year and I had a choice to make, initially Kate had told me she wasn’t going to have a long distance relationship with me if I went to college, this weighed heavy on me and I decided I didn’t want my future to be dictated by her so I broke up with her. Shortly after we broke up Kate was unfortunately raped by her stepsisters boyfriends step brother and upon hearing this my entire world shattered. I reevaluated everything, including my priorities and decided I’d rather be with her than go to school. We got back together in June 2021 and dated again until February 2023.
In February 2023 Kate told me she didn’t know if I was a need or a want, and wanted time apart to understand if I was just comfort and security for her or if it was true love. We had a heart wrenching break up where Kate assured me we would be together in spirit. Four weeks later during spring break Kate was fucking a friend of hers that moved to Tennessee that was a few years older than us that she had met during her time being homeschooled and swore up and down he was a brother to her and whenever he was in town we would all hang out. They dated (long distance) from March 2023 until May 2023. Kate has since confessed her deep regret for doing this, and I do believe her. I missed Kate dearly so we got back together in June 2023 and dated until May 2024.
Shortly after Kate and I got back together in June 2023 she wanted to move out of her parents house and get away from the toxicity because it was affecting her mental health. Kate told me if I didn’t want to move out with her that was fine and she would find someone else to live with but I could already sense the resentment and I wanted to remove her from her situation at home so in true White Knight fashion, I suppressed my concerns of moving out and we started looking for apartments. We put the deposit down on a brand new 550 sqft unit in November and just had to wait until January for it to be built. Just before new year we found a single wide trailer for sale in a local park that was priced to sell and needed work. We ended up backing out of our apartment deposit and bought the single wide trailer for 10k cash split 50/50.
From January until May I worked on the trailer everyday after work. Completely renovated the kitchen down to studs, bathroom down to the studs, replaced a window and redid plumbing, got a new water heater and carpet in the living room, re-leveled the hallway and laid new flooring down the hall and replaced the washer and dryer area due to water damage and electrical concerns. Repainted every room, new baseboards, and bought new appliances for the kitchen (except the fridge). I’m a handy person and did most of these things myself and only subbed out the water heater and carpet install. I was pretty burnt out and what should’ve been exciting for us I slowly began to resent.
Kate and my mom/sisters weren’t on talking terms during this either due to “the dress incident” which really peeved me. My sisters are seniors this year and had to go prom dress shopping, my mom and sisters had overlapping schedules and ultimately the only day they could go get dresses was a day that Kate was unable to attend. This hurt Kate’s feelings so much she decided she wasn’t going to talk to them until they apologized for leaving her out. My mom and sisters never reached out because they didn’t even know Kate was upset and when they did find out she was upset they didn’t feel like they owed her an apology and that it was just unfortunate circumstances. I tried explaining to Kate that it did suck they went without her and I was sorry she was upset but ultimately there wasn’t anything that could be done and they didn’t intentionally hurt her so maybe she should just drop it. Kate went from regularly being at my house to never coming over and my family took notice. Eventually Kate did make peace with my mom and one of my sisters, but not both. My other sister lashed out at Kate and accused her of being manipulative and childish, my sister for whatever reason decided to compare their traumas as well (which is completely uncalled for) and voiced no desire to have a relationship with Kate. Kate took this as you would expect and distanced herself from my sister and my house. I was livid with my sister for lashing out and I wanted them to work things out and encouraged both of them to talk to each other to work things out but they are both very prideful and both were willing to die on their hill.
I’m very family oriented and the stress of Kate not having a solid relationship with my family was extremely taxing to me both mentally and emotionally and this was on top of renovating the trailer and my suppressed feelings towards moving out. I totally checked out and eventually broke up with Kate. Now I’m wondering if I made the right choice or if I’m going to regret leaving my best friend and love of my life because I am just emotionally exhausted from the arguments and not totally being ready to move out. Kate has said she is willing to do couples therapy and I can live at home and she loves me deeply but I just don’t know anymore, the whole situation is the culmination of so many factors it’s hard to pinpoint why I want to leave, I just do but a part of me wants to keep fighting.
submitted by __Sherman__ to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Kate reached out to me during the summer between our freshman and sophomore year and we instantly hit it off. I ended up asking Kate to be my girlfriend in August of 2018 and we dated until March of 2019, we split for reasons I honestly don’t remember, we were 15/16 so it was likely something trivial. We both dated other people during summer 2019 and got back together in September 2019 after realizing the people we were with were essentially distractions that suppressed our feelings for each other.
After that, we dated from September 2019 until April of 2021. In October of 2020 Kate began receiving text messages from a bi-curious woman who had supposedly saw her at a party and asked her to indulge in her fantasies and would text Kate throughout the night, writing paragraphs about the things she wanted to do to her. It was revealed that this bi-curious women was actually her brother in-law and after a 2 week therapy course in Tennessee for his “sex addiction” Kate’s family allowed him back into the family and dismissed Kate’s feelings towards her predator, going as far as inviting him to family party’s and intentionally not inviting her as to not cause any drama. So to say Kate’s relationship with her family is on the rocks is an understatement. 2021 was my senior year and I had a choice to make, initially Kate had told me she wasn’t going to have a long distance relationship with me if I went to college, this weighed heavy on me and I decided I didn’t want my future to be dictated by her so I broke up with her. Shortly after we broke up Kate was unfortunately raped by her stepsisters boyfriends step brother and upon hearing this my entire world shattered. I reevaluated everything, including my priorities and decided I’d rather be with her than go to school. We got back together in June 2021 and dated again until February 2023.
In February 2023 Kate told me she didn’t know if I was a need or a want, and wanted time apart to understand if I was just comfort and security for her or if it was true love. We had a heart wrenching break up where Kate assured me we would be together in spirit. Four weeks later during spring break Kate was fucking a friend of hers that moved to Tennessee that was a few years older than us that she had met during her time being homeschooled and swore up and down he was a brother to her and whenever he was in town we would all hang out. They dated (long distance) from March 2023 until May 2023. Kate has since confessed her deep regret for doing this, and I do believe her. I missed Kate dearly so we got back together in June 2023 and dated until May 2024.
Shortly after Kate and I got back together in June 2023 she wanted to move out of her parents house and get away from the toxicity because it was affecting her mental health. Kate told me if I didn’t want to move out with her that was fine and she would find someone else to live with but I could already sense the resentment and I wanted to remove her from her situation at home so in true White Knight fashion, I suppressed my concerns of moving out and we started looking for apartments. We put the deposit down on a brand new 550 sqft unit in November and just had to wait until January for it to be built. Just before new year we found a single wide trailer for sale in a local park that was priced to sell and needed work. We ended up backing out of our apartment deposit and bought the single wide trailer for 10k cash split 50/50.
From January until May I worked on the trailer everyday after work. Completely renovated the kitchen down to studs, bathroom down to the studs, replaced a window and redid plumbing, got a new water heater and carpet in the living room, re-leveled the hallway and laid new flooring down the hall and replaced the washer and dryer area due to water damage and electrical concerns. Repainted every room, new baseboards, and bought new appliances for the kitchen (except the fridge). I’m a handy person and did most of these things myself and only subbed out the water heater and carpet install. I was pretty burnt out and what should’ve been exciting for us I slowly began to resent.
Kate and my mom/sisters weren’t on talking terms during this either due to “the dress incident” which really peeved me. My sisters are seniors this year and had to go prom dress shopping, my mom and sisters had overlapping schedules and ultimately the only day they could go get dresses was a day that Kate was unable to attend. This hurt Kate’s feelings so much she decided she wasn’t going to talk to them until they apologized for leaving her out. My mom and sisters never reached out because they didn’t even know Kate was upset and when they did find out she was upset they didn’t feel like they owed her an apology and that it was just unfortunate circumstances. I tried explaining to Kate that it did suck they went without her and I was sorry she was upset but ultimately there wasn’t anything that could be done and they didn’t intentionally hurt her so maybe she should just drop it. Kate went from regularly being at my house to never coming over and my family took notice. Eventually Kate did make peace with my mom and one of my sisters, but not both. My other sister lashed out at Kate and accused her of being manipulative and childish, my sister for whatever reason decided to compare their traumas as well (which is completely uncalled for) and voiced no desire to have a relationship with Kate. Kate took this as you would expect and distanced herself from my sister and my house. I was livid with my sister for lashing out and I wanted them to work things out and encouraged both of them to talk to each other to work things out but they are both very prideful and both were willing to die on their hill.
I’m very family oriented and the stress of Kate not having a solid relationship with my family was extremely taxing to me both mentally and emotionally and this was on top of renovating the trailer and my suppressed feelings towards moving out. I totally checked out and eventually broke up with Kate. Now I’m wondering if I made the right choice or if I’m going to regret leaving my best friend and love of my life because I am just emotionally exhausted from the arguments and not totally being ready to move out. Kate has said she is willing to do couples therapy and I can live at home and she loves me deeply but I just don’t know anymore, the whole situation is the culmination of so many factors it’s hard to pinpoint why I want to leave, I just do but a part of me wants to keep fighting.
2024.05.29 06:05 Dinosaurnamedbee My Best friends ex is obsessed with me, (and possibly everyone ever.)
I can't believe I'm writing this. But I need some insight cause I find myself getting angry and confused. This is my first reddit post. Please excuse my redditor literacy.
This is the most convoluted story. It is long. But it's a ride.
You've been warned.
(Fake names obviously)
I (20f) have a best friend, Karl (20m) of 4 years. Now I see what you might assume. No. We're close but I'm mainly into women, I currently have a partner and have had a partner 90% of the time they where dating.
Now Karl got with Regina(19f) late 2022, the relationship started off rocky as she said "I only want you" but then kissed her ex, and then couldn't decide who she wanted. But still insisted once she chose Karl, she wanted to stay friends with her ex. Posted pictures when they'd "hang out" where it looked like she was sitting on his lap. But she swore she wasn't. Constantly blocked him after things would happen, then unblocked him, lied, then cried when Karl would find out.
Yes. Infuriating. But here you go. That's how Regina was introduced to our lives.
It took a while but eventually I tried to look past this. I care about Karl, if this was who he loved. We accepted it. Infact made it a point to invite her out to gatherings, made sure to offer her food, offer her drinks, chatting. Making sure she's involved. Gassing her up. Girlie things. (God I'm so desperate for everyone to love me it's a problem.)
Then her friends, ex boyfriend began to follow me, I had hoped this was because of how well I'd done to make friends. But this waa short lived.
Originally I'd just hoped it was banter. I'd chat to them, often sending pictures with Regina in her classes and joking with me.
Unfortunately I have social impairments, Slowly it became clear they where just laughing at me, calling me names but with cutesy emojis. Remember the girls in highschool? The ones thatd pretend to be your friend in class because it was funny? Like that.
So i stopped paying attention, often ignoring them. Unfortunately it only got worse. It got to a point I'd be spammed and have my instagram story replies with slurrs, calling me a pdf. File??? (I was talking to someone 6 years older than me?) Weird references, calling me cringe (I know. I know, worst thing ever right.), picking on my hair, my eyes(strabismus), my clothing. So I folded. Told Karl I wouldn't be dealing with it anymore. I'd blocked them, and asked karl To ask Regina to ask her friends to stop contacting me, I was doing my finishing project in college (uk) to get into university and it was getting to point I couldn't focus. I told him what had been happening, that I didn't know what her problem was. But I am a adult woman and this was bizarre.
Now, that alone. I forgave and in time, forgot. She had allegedly appologized "for them" and didn't know any of that was happening and had no I'll intent and hoped we could still be friends. Okay, sure.
Weird semi important point: she confessed in a groupchat that she used to be a 'chav' I said " you do look like someone who'd have bullied me" Banter. She then posted on her Instagram story (Paraphrased by memory) "When someone says you look like someone who'd have bullied them- but your friend died" I can't remember, but it was along the lines of that kind of 'what the fuck does that even mean'
Upon a later night of drinking, regina was talking to Karl about the ex, Mike. I brang up the fact her ex boyfriend kept liking my photos and was following me Hoping to bond over the fact this guy was weird, common girly bonding
"You know he only follows you so he could make fun of you and how cringe your posts are". She laughs.
The group goes quiet and holy shit I'm embarrassed. I just internalise that and change the subject.
Later I repost a reel of a guy saying something vaugely corresponding to this convosation. Basic premise when someone tells you their friend talks shit about you, then obviously you ask "why do they do that to you" (I know childish but at this point I was starting to really dislike her. My friend had sent it to me, It was late.) When i say She launched, "if you've got a problem talk to me instead of being weird and I'd tell you I was so scared of Mike and he held such a power over me and I just let him chat shit" I'd love to just mention this is after the 2nd time she'd unblocked him to talk to him behind Karl's back. I put up with it. Karl is at this point family. And if this is who he loves. We have to love her too.
This is all important to the point I swear.
Anyway.
My partners (now ex) friend Frank (22) and us fell out. Unimportant to this story but he let me know, Regina and an old very close friend had a groupchat to say very unpleasant things about me in, despite this old friend I never stopped speaking well of. Hoping we'd find eachother again. He'd been scouted when we had fallen out. But respected me enough to tell me. Another confrontation where she is so misunderstood and I'm making a big deal out of nothing and she's never ever had a problem with me.
Okay. Talked to Karl again. He is shocked but takes her word. As I'd kinda expect. Its his girlfriend. He took her to London over my birthday, he didn't want to ruin it. So he gave it up.
Karl throughout this is withdrawing from us. When he's with us it's like the light is gone from his eyes. He's distracted, quiet, doesn't laugh as much. Often tries to slip out of meetups because he'll "only bring you guys down". He's constantly picking up his phone. Constantly messaging. Cancelling plans. He won't talk to us. We where all worried.
Karl few months later calls me for advice. Turns out she kept getting caught in lies about her ex and general behaviours. Ignoring him for days again, threatening to game quit if she doesn't get the attention she wants. It'd all gotten so tiring that he didn't have any attraction to her anymore. He had no sex drive. He dreaded seeing her. But had to constantly message her. He's been feeling like this for months. Karl didn't want to leave her just before her birthday, he felt it cruel. But then it was the anniversary coming up. He didn't want to be responsible. He'd tried gifts, trips, anything just to make her happy. No matter what he did he still felt like nothing was enough. I managed to talk him through. About threatening suicide if someone wants to leave, is indeed abuse. He wasn't himself. How we felt and how we where worried. He got choked up. Not realizing anyone cared. He asked if he should leave. I asked if he was happy. "I can't imagine not having her there." Okay no. Not what I asked. Eventually he confessed He'd never felt lower. I said. Can you see yourself marrying her? No. Infact he said the thourght freaked him out. I said. Well. Why are you with her. Eventually it got to a point He left her. She said she'd been thinking about it. Yay? No 12 hours later he calls me saying its all fixed. Its all okay. How He's a horrible person for doing this to her. How it's him that needs to change. How he will spend a long time making this up to her. You know. I'm a domestic abuse survivor. But I never realized how much hearing that killed abit of my sould. Trying to convince Karl that he's worth anything is like trying to convince a deaf non signing American Conservative that the gays aren't trying to make him gay too.
They do eventually a few months later split. She says she wants to breakup as he "doesn't love her the way she wants him to" he is hurt but says okay. She then obviously realizes hey, he isn't gonna start begging on his knees. You can only hurt someone so much. She then asks "breakup sex" directly after and to this day its our favourite quote. But he says no, she asks for one more night, he says no you just broke up with me? Leave? She complains about not being able to get to the train station. Now. Karl didn't have his licence till a few weeks later. So queue the weirdest car ride with his DAD you've ever heard of. She cried. Hugged him. Begged him to reconsider. Karl officially has realized how disconnected he's become. Nah.
Queue a weird amount of messages ranging between "I'm sorry baby" to "I CANT BELIEVE YOURE GIVING UP ON US" and sexually charged messages, After karl finally blocks her. She begins to call him from various different numbers. Tries to get with his friends. Fails. Still calls him crying for the next 6 months. In which these events happen.
Frank from before. Now it turns out. While we don't have full timeline but either weirdly around the time they broke up they got /very/ close. To the point despite Frank having a partner. She was begging him to sleep with her. But Being weird with it. One minute she wants him. Next she doesn't. Basically, she loves the idea that she could have him. But doesn't want to keep any of them. Frank had a girlfriend. Goddess of a lady. Daisy. Regina proceeded to pick on every little thing to Frank about daisy she could. Always. Physical appearance.
Then. Now I am simply not making this up. after Frank separates himself from this situation. Regina begins to harrass Daisy, With telling Daisy about how much Frank's missing out on not shagging her instead.
And making 6 different instagram accounts to harrass them, and this is where I come in further.
Regina now, after the hate group chooses some last straws she can pull to drag him back. She makes a fake account. Goes to message Frank. With the opener of gossip about me and my partners sex life. I talked to Regina less times than I can Count on one hand.
The main one I'm aware of is "Did you know my partner drinks my names piss" Which I'm not here to kink shame; but this does not happen unfortunately but i still find it beautiful of a statement.
I one day due to some more harassment and more attention than I'm used to.
Decide to private my instagram. It was only for 24 hours in full so I could change some settings and archive some things. Within 15. An account. David, requests to follow. Strange. Cause my account is shadow banned and cannot be shown to non followers. I click. Heavens foretold dear friends. Regina's new boo. Id like to clarify. 2 weeks before Karl was still getting snotty teary calls telling him she misses him. Karl's friends where sending screenshots of Regina trying it on with them then getting snotty when she was rightfully laughed at.
I ask "hi??"
"Hi me and my girlfriend just wanted to stalk how cringe your posts are" I wish I could have been funny and not caught off guard. And shamed them. Oh god. I wish I had. Basically I told him, the gym is waiting. She will chew you up. Idk what I did but I'm sorry. Godamn. Leave me be. And they said "It's not that deep lighten up" I am indeed embarrassed.
But they kept mentioning my workplace. I am a bartender, and one day she did come in with a man, they seems very loved up but then again. It certainly wasn't this guy. then said bad things about me infront of a coworker. It was a little satisfying seeing her face fall and hit the table from shame as I was carrying an ice bucket past her. She was already cut off at this point for her antics.
David's best friends memepage now follows me. But has been the first out of 5 accounts not to say anything. I'm sure they think I don't know. David claimed I was lying in my encounter. I do wonder if I could flip the table entirely.
but I also wonder if she's just very mentally unwell. But it's been 1.5 years of this and I'm just abit knackered and pissed off.
I'm 20 feeling like a highschooler. But I'm working for a bipolar diagnosis and I have ADHD, the paranoia. Is driving me up the wall man. Like this woman knows enough of my details and she's spread where I work. She's been to my house. She has clearly gotten multiple people involves historically and despite me trying to apologise, it makes no difference.
If I knew what the issue was, I'd gauge it. But it's not knowing and not being told. But it's reassuring it's not just me. With daisy, I'm wondering if this is historic. Might be vanity? She (used to?) Post alot of ...suggestive photography and always wears a lingerie corset and heavy makeup, filters. Nothing wrong with that of course but she's a very sexually orientated person, and given the contexts to that behaviour. I wonder if its to cover some in depth issues. But that's just a theory. Part of feels hey, if she needs men to tell her that I am ugly, cringe and worth nothing. Then she van have that. The other half makes me want vengeance for the boy, prove that I'm not whatever she'd been making me out to be and make her realize she needs to change. But that's. abit pathetic innit.
Anyway I doubt anyones made it this far and if you have. Thank you for reading my story and the weirdness of it. I hope it hasn't been too shit. Just needed to get it off my chest. And maybe if anyone has anything to say.
TLDR: my best friends ex has always had an issue despite my efforts. Getting various people to harrass and bully me, She tried to get with his friends, other guys we knew and harrassing us all. All while still crying she misses him. Her new bf thinks I'm lying and is joining in, his best friend now follows me too. My partner allegedly drinks my piss <3
submitted by Dinosaurnamedbee to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
This is the most convoluted story. It is long. But it's a ride.
You've been warned.
(Fake names obviously)
I (20f) have a best friend, Karl (20m) of 4 years. Now I see what you might assume. No. We're close but I'm mainly into women, I currently have a partner and have had a partner 90% of the time they where dating.
Now Karl got with Regina(19f) late 2022, the relationship started off rocky as she said "I only want you" but then kissed her ex, and then couldn't decide who she wanted. But still insisted once she chose Karl, she wanted to stay friends with her ex. Posted pictures when they'd "hang out" where it looked like she was sitting on his lap. But she swore she wasn't. Constantly blocked him after things would happen, then unblocked him, lied, then cried when Karl would find out.
Yes. Infuriating. But here you go. That's how Regina was introduced to our lives.
It took a while but eventually I tried to look past this. I care about Karl, if this was who he loved. We accepted it. Infact made it a point to invite her out to gatherings, made sure to offer her food, offer her drinks, chatting. Making sure she's involved. Gassing her up. Girlie things. (God I'm so desperate for everyone to love me it's a problem.)
Then her friends, ex boyfriend began to follow me, I had hoped this was because of how well I'd done to make friends. But this waa short lived.
Originally I'd just hoped it was banter. I'd chat to them, often sending pictures with Regina in her classes and joking with me.
Unfortunately I have social impairments, Slowly it became clear they where just laughing at me, calling me names but with cutesy emojis. Remember the girls in highschool? The ones thatd pretend to be your friend in class because it was funny? Like that.
So i stopped paying attention, often ignoring them. Unfortunately it only got worse. It got to a point I'd be spammed and have my instagram story replies with slurrs, calling me a pdf. File??? (I was talking to someone 6 years older than me?) Weird references, calling me cringe (I know. I know, worst thing ever right.), picking on my hair, my eyes(strabismus), my clothing. So I folded. Told Karl I wouldn't be dealing with it anymore. I'd blocked them, and asked karl To ask Regina to ask her friends to stop contacting me, I was doing my finishing project in college (uk) to get into university and it was getting to point I couldn't focus. I told him what had been happening, that I didn't know what her problem was. But I am a adult woman and this was bizarre.
Now, that alone. I forgave and in time, forgot. She had allegedly appologized "for them" and didn't know any of that was happening and had no I'll intent and hoped we could still be friends. Okay, sure.
Weird semi important point: she confessed in a groupchat that she used to be a 'chav' I said " you do look like someone who'd have bullied me" Banter. She then posted on her Instagram story (Paraphrased by memory) "When someone says you look like someone who'd have bullied them- but your friend died" I can't remember, but it was along the lines of that kind of 'what the fuck does that even mean'
Upon a later night of drinking, regina was talking to Karl about the ex, Mike. I brang up the fact her ex boyfriend kept liking my photos and was following me Hoping to bond over the fact this guy was weird, common girly bonding
"You know he only follows you so he could make fun of you and how cringe your posts are". She laughs.
The group goes quiet and holy shit I'm embarrassed. I just internalise that and change the subject.
Later I repost a reel of a guy saying something vaugely corresponding to this convosation. Basic premise when someone tells you their friend talks shit about you, then obviously you ask "why do they do that to you" (I know childish but at this point I was starting to really dislike her. My friend had sent it to me, It was late.) When i say She launched, "if you've got a problem talk to me instead of being weird and I'd tell you I was so scared of Mike and he held such a power over me and I just let him chat shit" I'd love to just mention this is after the 2nd time she'd unblocked him to talk to him behind Karl's back. I put up with it. Karl is at this point family. And if this is who he loves. We have to love her too.
This is all important to the point I swear.
Anyway.
My partners (now ex) friend Frank (22) and us fell out. Unimportant to this story but he let me know, Regina and an old very close friend had a groupchat to say very unpleasant things about me in, despite this old friend I never stopped speaking well of. Hoping we'd find eachother again. He'd been scouted when we had fallen out. But respected me enough to tell me. Another confrontation where she is so misunderstood and I'm making a big deal out of nothing and she's never ever had a problem with me.
Okay. Talked to Karl again. He is shocked but takes her word. As I'd kinda expect. Its his girlfriend. He took her to London over my birthday, he didn't want to ruin it. So he gave it up.
Karl throughout this is withdrawing from us. When he's with us it's like the light is gone from his eyes. He's distracted, quiet, doesn't laugh as much. Often tries to slip out of meetups because he'll "only bring you guys down". He's constantly picking up his phone. Constantly messaging. Cancelling plans. He won't talk to us. We where all worried.
Karl few months later calls me for advice. Turns out she kept getting caught in lies about her ex and general behaviours. Ignoring him for days again, threatening to game quit if she doesn't get the attention she wants. It'd all gotten so tiring that he didn't have any attraction to her anymore. He had no sex drive. He dreaded seeing her. But had to constantly message her. He's been feeling like this for months. Karl didn't want to leave her just before her birthday, he felt it cruel. But then it was the anniversary coming up. He didn't want to be responsible. He'd tried gifts, trips, anything just to make her happy. No matter what he did he still felt like nothing was enough. I managed to talk him through. About threatening suicide if someone wants to leave, is indeed abuse. He wasn't himself. How we felt and how we where worried. He got choked up. Not realizing anyone cared. He asked if he should leave. I asked if he was happy. "I can't imagine not having her there." Okay no. Not what I asked. Eventually he confessed He'd never felt lower. I said. Can you see yourself marrying her? No. Infact he said the thourght freaked him out. I said. Well. Why are you with her. Eventually it got to a point He left her. She said she'd been thinking about it. Yay? No 12 hours later he calls me saying its all fixed. Its all okay. How He's a horrible person for doing this to her. How it's him that needs to change. How he will spend a long time making this up to her. You know. I'm a domestic abuse survivor. But I never realized how much hearing that killed abit of my sould. Trying to convince Karl that he's worth anything is like trying to convince a deaf non signing American Conservative that the gays aren't trying to make him gay too.
They do eventually a few months later split. She says she wants to breakup as he "doesn't love her the way she wants him to" he is hurt but says okay. She then obviously realizes hey, he isn't gonna start begging on his knees. You can only hurt someone so much. She then asks "breakup sex" directly after and to this day its our favourite quote. But he says no, she asks for one more night, he says no you just broke up with me? Leave? She complains about not being able to get to the train station. Now. Karl didn't have his licence till a few weeks later. So queue the weirdest car ride with his DAD you've ever heard of. She cried. Hugged him. Begged him to reconsider. Karl officially has realized how disconnected he's become. Nah.
Queue a weird amount of messages ranging between "I'm sorry baby" to "I CANT BELIEVE YOURE GIVING UP ON US" and sexually charged messages, After karl finally blocks her. She begins to call him from various different numbers. Tries to get with his friends. Fails. Still calls him crying for the next 6 months. In which these events happen.
Frank from before. Now it turns out. While we don't have full timeline but either weirdly around the time they broke up they got /very/ close. To the point despite Frank having a partner. She was begging him to sleep with her. But Being weird with it. One minute she wants him. Next she doesn't. Basically, she loves the idea that she could have him. But doesn't want to keep any of them. Frank had a girlfriend. Goddess of a lady. Daisy. Regina proceeded to pick on every little thing to Frank about daisy she could. Always. Physical appearance.
Then. Now I am simply not making this up. after Frank separates himself from this situation. Regina begins to harrass Daisy, With telling Daisy about how much Frank's missing out on not shagging her instead.
And making 6 different instagram accounts to harrass them, and this is where I come in further.
Regina now, after the hate group chooses some last straws she can pull to drag him back. She makes a fake account. Goes to message Frank. With the opener of gossip about me and my partners sex life. I talked to Regina less times than I can Count on one hand.
The main one I'm aware of is "Did you know my partner drinks my names piss" Which I'm not here to kink shame; but this does not happen unfortunately but i still find it beautiful of a statement.
I one day due to some more harassment and more attention than I'm used to.
Decide to private my instagram. It was only for 24 hours in full so I could change some settings and archive some things. Within 15. An account. David, requests to follow. Strange. Cause my account is shadow banned and cannot be shown to non followers. I click. Heavens foretold dear friends. Regina's new boo. Id like to clarify. 2 weeks before Karl was still getting snotty teary calls telling him she misses him. Karl's friends where sending screenshots of Regina trying it on with them then getting snotty when she was rightfully laughed at.
I ask "hi??"
"Hi me and my girlfriend just wanted to stalk how cringe your posts are" I wish I could have been funny and not caught off guard. And shamed them. Oh god. I wish I had. Basically I told him, the gym is waiting. She will chew you up. Idk what I did but I'm sorry. Godamn. Leave me be. And they said "It's not that deep lighten up" I am indeed embarrassed.
But they kept mentioning my workplace. I am a bartender, and one day she did come in with a man, they seems very loved up but then again. It certainly wasn't this guy. then said bad things about me infront of a coworker. It was a little satisfying seeing her face fall and hit the table from shame as I was carrying an ice bucket past her. She was already cut off at this point for her antics.
David's best friends memepage now follows me. But has been the first out of 5 accounts not to say anything. I'm sure they think I don't know. David claimed I was lying in my encounter. I do wonder if I could flip the table entirely.
but I also wonder if she's just very mentally unwell. But it's been 1.5 years of this and I'm just abit knackered and pissed off.
I'm 20 feeling like a highschooler. But I'm working for a bipolar diagnosis and I have ADHD, the paranoia. Is driving me up the wall man. Like this woman knows enough of my details and she's spread where I work. She's been to my house. She has clearly gotten multiple people involves historically and despite me trying to apologise, it makes no difference.
If I knew what the issue was, I'd gauge it. But it's not knowing and not being told. But it's reassuring it's not just me. With daisy, I'm wondering if this is historic. Might be vanity? She (used to?) Post alot of ...suggestive photography and always wears a lingerie corset and heavy makeup, filters. Nothing wrong with that of course but she's a very sexually orientated person, and given the contexts to that behaviour. I wonder if its to cover some in depth issues. But that's just a theory. Part of feels hey, if she needs men to tell her that I am ugly, cringe and worth nothing. Then she van have that. The other half makes me want vengeance for the boy, prove that I'm not whatever she'd been making me out to be and make her realize she needs to change. But that's. abit pathetic innit.
Anyway I doubt anyones made it this far and if you have. Thank you for reading my story and the weirdness of it. I hope it hasn't been too shit. Just needed to get it off my chest. And maybe if anyone has anything to say.
TLDR: my best friends ex has always had an issue despite my efforts. Getting various people to harrass and bully me, She tried to get with his friends, other guys we knew and harrassing us all. All while still crying she misses him. Her new bf thinks I'm lying and is joining in, his best friend now follows me too. My partner allegedly drinks my piss <3
2024.05.29 06:02 orgamitsuki What to do when he says he doesn’t want to get married.
“ What do you want to do without his reactions ?
How do you want to do without his reactions ?Who do you give priority to within your inside ?
Do you give priority to his feelings within your inside ?
Do you give priority to your feelings within your inside ?
It’s so important to watch his actions more than his words for you.
Because his actions have his real feelings and his love more than his words.
What evaluations do you believe about you when he says he doesn’t want to get married ?
Do you feel like you don’t get married to him forever and do you feel your sorrow when he says he doesn’t want to get married ?
Believe your real feelings yourself.
It’s so important to take his love through his actions more than his words for you.It's so important to shift to have your mind that you're just happy even you get married to him and you don't get married for you.
To find what you learn through him will liberate your inside more from your beliefs, will lead you into more happiness. “
I’m sharing my messages with you through reading two below, because two messages are similar.
I really understand your feelings, because I’ve gone through the feelings as the same with you.
“ I think the “with you” is silent “ from relationship_advice on reddit ( I don’t write the age for protecting your personal information.)
My boyfriend (●M) and I(●F) have been dating for almost a year. Prior to this, we were friends for about 3 years. During this time we discussed our views on marriage, more kids (we both have one from prior relationships), finances and such. Yesterday, I decided to ask if he sees a future with me, as far as marriage. His reply was “I do not believe in marriage but I see a long term relationship. Marriage is man made and we can make our own contract.” I felt blindsided because this was never his view, and I understand people can change.
I feel like it’s my fault because during our friendship and relationship, I was taking on roles that one would consider a wife would do. Maybe this is the reason why he doesn’t see the point in marrying me? I’m not sure, but it hurt. He then goes on to say I’m always a feeling a way..but wtf, how could I not? Has anyone else had to walk away from someone they love because of this? Am I being extra?
Yesterday, I decided to ask if he sees a future with me, as far as marriage. His reply was “I do not believe in marriage but I see a long term relationship. Marriage is man made and we can make our own contract.” I felt blindsided because this was never his view, and I understand people can change.
I feel like it’s my fault because during our friendship and relationship, I was taking on roles that one would consider a wife would do. Maybe this is the reason why he doesn’t see the point in marrying me? I’m not sure, but it hurt. 』
【My view】; It’s not your fault and not this reason which you were taking on roles that one would consider a wife would do. I truly understand your feelings that you’re not sure and it hurts, because I’ve also gone through the feelings as the same with you.
『 He then goes on to say I’m always a feeling a way..but wtf, how could I not? Has anyone else had to walk away from someone they love because of this? Am I being extra? 』
【My view】; I think that you are not being extra.
Regarding he then goes on to say you’re always a feeling a way, I guess that he’s always feeling a way. You don’t have to receive his words too much, You should watch his actions more than what he says to you, because his actions have his real feelings he doesn’t express and his love.
What is the most important means “ What do you want to do without his reactions ?
Do you want to get married to him ? “It’s so important to cherish your feelings and what you really want to do with him for you without his reactions.
I truly understand that you will be feeling you won’t get married to him through his reactions and his words.
If you think that you have the reason you don’t get married to him, it will give you sufferings and sorrow more. That’s not your fault. While you feel like it’s your fault, you will focus the road of differing from love between you and him on your view.
Even when he says that to you, his words are not related to what he doesn’t get married forever.
Regarding you discussed your views on marriage and you asked him about a future with you, maybe he will be thinking about marriage with you, he didn’t escape from discussion about marriage with you even thought his reply was not what you wanted.
As you both have one kid from prior relationships, maybe he won’t have a good image about marriage, but he will be thinking that he wants to keep the relationship between you and him as he sees a long term relationship with you.
Maybe, he won’t be confident about marriage and making you happy with your kids, his images will give the influence more to marriage.
What do you think about marriage ?
Marriage means you put happiness on both you, you make you more happy, he makes you more happy, you make him more happy.
If you want to get marriage to him without his reactions, how to communicate with him and how to take his love through his actions will be necessary for liberating him from fear which he is not confident.
The relationship between you and yourself gives him the influence.
At first, “ What do you want to do without his reactions ?
Do you want to get married to him without his reactions ? “
In my counselling,
- You will get how to communicate with him for giving him confidence.
- You will take his love through his actions rather than his words.
- You will get what to do for keeping to believe your real feelings and what you really want to do with him.
- To find what you learn through him will liberate you more, to fill the relationship between you and yourself with more happiness and freedom and peace will give a change to the relationship between you and him, you will get that.
So me [●F] any my boyfriend [●M] have been together pretty much all of our early adult life. We've been living together for the past 5+ years as well. We are each others first girlfriend/boyfriend and are obviously in love with each other. Besides this one thing we're literally perfect for each other, have similar values and hobbies, lots of fun together etc.
He knew from the start that I do want to get married one day, even though I don't want to have children (he's on board with that), but I just love the idea of marriage. He has told me over and over again that he doesn't want to marry me... yet. His reason being that he doesn't have a lot of money right now (we both work and get by quite ok) or that he first wants to finish his bachelor study (which he also has been studying for the past 10 years with currently no end in sight)...etc. I've told him before that it doesn't have to be an expensive wedding and we would obviously be sharing the costs, but each talk about this ends up with either me crying and him comforting me or just him being annoyed. Sometimes he tells me that he doesn't want to get married as it won't change our relationship and there are many couples being happy together for years without ever getting married. Sometimes he promises me that he will definitely marry me one day. I'm tired of waiting yet I also feel like I might be asking for too much? I try to not pressure him at all and we maybe talk about this once or twice a year.
But then I see my friends getting married and get really sad wondering if I'm waiting for something that will never happen... am I wrong for thinking about leaving over this? Or should I just be happy with the relationship as it is and forget about the idea of marriage?
TLDR: Boyfriend gives me confusing answers about my wish to get married. Should I leave or just accept the idea of probably never getting married?
He knew from the start that I do want to get married one day, even though I don't want to have children (he's on board with that), but I just love the idea of marriage.
He has told me over and over again that he doesn't want to marry me... yet.
His reason being that he doesn't have a lot of money right now (we both work and get by quite ok) or that he first wants to finish his bachelor study (which he also has been studying for the past 10 years with currently no end in sight)...etc.
I've told him before that it doesn't have to be an expensive wedding and we would obviously be sharing the costs, but each talk about this ends up with either me crying and him comforting me or just him being annoyed. 』
【My view】; Probably, for him and his reason that he doesn’t have a lot of money, what you share the costs won’t mean solution he desires. He will have his policy which he has a lot of money and you don’t share the cost, he will want to be confident in himself through having a lot of money without giving you the cost, what he has a lot of money and what he wants to be confident in himself for making you happy will link with one, he doesn’t say that to you or he can’t express his real feelings by his words, so he will be annoyed. But what is the most important means your real feelings,
“ What do you want to do without his reactions ?
How do you want to do for you without his reactions ? “,What do you feel through his behavior which he’s annoyed ?
What do you believe through his behavior which he’s annoyed ?
Do you feel like you’re disliked through his behavior ?
When you cry regarding that, “ What do you feel ? do you feel like you don’t marry him forever ? Do you believe like you don’t marry him forever ? “
『 Sometimes he tells me that he doesn't want to get married as it won't change our relationship and there are many couples being happy together for years without ever getting married. 』
【My view】; A man tries to maintain the present condition. Probably, he will fear to change your relationship between you and him through marriage.
『 Sometimes he promises me that he will definitely marry me one day. I'm tired of waiting yet I also feel like I might be asking for too much? I try to not pressure him at all and we maybe talk about this once or twice a year. 』
【My view】; Regarding you try to not pressure him at all, Who do you give priority to within your inside ? Do you give priority to him within your inside ? He won’t notice what you do that even if you try to not pressure him at all, maybe such your action will make him lose being confident of making you happy in himself. What is the most important means your real feelings, doesn’t mean his feelings. Do you your best for your happiness ? and do you talk with him for your happiness ? It’s so important that you give priority to your real feelings within your inside for you.
For you, Cherish your real feelings which you want to marry him, so you may talk about this for many years more than once or twice a year, you should talk about your happiness with him more.
Regarding “ Sometimes he promises me that he will definitely marry you one day. “, that has his love through his actions and his behaviors, he will be thinking of your feeling which you want to marry him, his actions are full of his love although it will be not easy to notice his love through his actions and his behaviors more than his words.
He will be doing his best for your happiness, don’t you think that ? Don’t you believe his love ?
『 But then I see my friends getting married and get really sad wondering if I'm waiting for something that will never happen... am I wrong for thinking about leaving over this? Or should I just be happy with the relationship as it is and forget about the idea of marriage? 』
【My view】; Regarding you see your friends getting married and get really sad wondering if you’re waiting for something that will never happen,
Do you want to marry him ? or Do you want to get married ?
Do you consider about marrying him as your purpose ? or Do you consider about getting married as your purpose ?
If you see your friends getting married and you feel worried and you choose marriage, it will be broken, because that means you just want to get married, to marry him is not a purpose.
What is the most important means “ What do you want to feel through marrying him ?
What do you want to do through marrying him ?
What do you want to feel ? after you get married to him.
Do you want to deepen more love between you and him through marriage ? Is that right ?
Regarding you get really sad wondering if you’re waiting for something that will never happen,
You will feel like you won’t marry him forever through his words and his behaviors, “ Do you consider what he doesn’t marry you as he doesn’t marry you forever ? If you consider that and you believe that, you will suffer from your beliefs.
I understand your feelings you feel like his words he doesn’t want to marry you reach your thought which you won’t marry him forever, you feel like that never happen, because I’ve also gone through the feelings as the same with you.
For him, his words which he doesn’t want to marry you don’t reach your thought which you won’t marry him forever. In my counselling, you will find what you learn through him, you will notice the meaning of my words more deeply.
Regarding “ am I wrong for thinking about leaving over this ? Or should I just be happy with the relationship as it is and forget about the idea of marriage ? “ and your tittle “ your boyfriend of 10 years doesn’t want to marry you..yet. Should you leave ? ”,
Do you give priority to him ? What do you want to do without his reactions ?
Do you want to marry him without his reactions ?
What do you want to do with him through marriage ?
Do you want to deepen more love between you and him through marriage ?
If you feel happiness with him and you want to marry him without his reactions, you should cherish your real feelings you want to marry him and you should choose what you want to marry him.
Because to forget about the idea of marriage means you abandon your real feelings which you want to marry him, you restrain your real feelings, you ignore your real feelings.
You follow your real feelings which you want to marry him and you want to be happy more for your happiness, you follow your real feelings more honestly for you, so you can believe in you and him. Giving priority to him within your inside makes you lie to your real feelings which you want to marry him, makes you ignore your real feelings, makes you restrain your real feelings. That means you don’t fill the relationship between you and yourself with happiness and freedom.
It’s so important that you just are happy with the relationship as it is for you and him.
Regarding “ Sometimes he promises me that he will definitely marry me one day”,
That’s his love and his action and his behavior, do you believe him ? That means “ How much do you believe that you deserve to take happiness more through him ? Do you believe in you unconditionally ? Do you believe him as well as you believe in you unconditionally ?
You follow your real feelings more honestly for your happiness, so you can believe in you and him.
If you don’t cherish your real feelings which you want to marry him and you don’t follow your real feelings for your happiness through giving priority to him, you won’t be able to believe in you and him.
You don’t have to give priority to his feelings within your inside. Because you won’t feel happiness while you adjust to his words and you abandon your real feelings which you want to marry him.
While women adjust to men, women can’t be happy.
If you had the opposite situation, “ What would you have felt ? if he had told you that he wanted to marry you but you had told him that you didn’t want to marry him yet, if he had thought to leave you and he had tried to find other person for marriage, what would you have thought ? don’t you dislike that ? “, You try to give him that.
If you face your real feelings you want to marry him and you face him through your honesty, your honesty will inspire him..
Probably, he won’t be confident of making you happy in himself through marriage.
What you do for being confident in himself means
- You take his love through his actions and his behaviors more than his words.
- You tell him what you take his love through his actions and his behaviors.
- You follow your real feelings more honestly for you through your life and him.
- You keep to tell him your real feelings more honestly and what you’re glad and you feel sorrow and you get angry and what makes you happy more.
- You keep to tell him what you want to do with him and you want him to do for your happiness and your joy without his reactions.
- You let go your beliefs and your evaluations of restricting unconditional love.
- Love you think is in the outside of love he thinks, you keep to shift your view to the outside of your beliefs and the outside of love you think.
- You keep to believe your real feelings which you want to do with him more honestly without his reactions.
- You accept your real feelings and your existence unconditionally.
- You need to follow your real feelings more honestly for taking his love through his actions and his behaviors , you need to accept your real feelings and yourself unconditionally for taking his love, so you will get how to take his love and how to tell him your feelings and your happiness and your sorrow and your anger, how to accept yourself unconditionally.
- You will find what you learn through him and your life, to find what you learn through him will reach your understanding about that and my messages.
- To find what you learn through him will help what you believe your real feelings more honestly for you, what you follow your real feelings and you share your real feelings with him.
- You will deepen more love between you and him through sharing your real feelings more honestly with him and taking his love from his actions and his behaviors, being confident of making you happy in himself.
【My view】; “ What do you want to do without his reactions ? Do you want to marry him without his reactions ? You don’t have to leave and you don’t have to accept the idea of probably never getting married if adjusting to his thoughts makes you lie to your real feelings and abandon your real feelings which you want to marry him.
Probably, he won’t be confident of making you happy in himself.
In my counselling,
- You will get how to communicate with him for being confident of making you happy in himself.
- You will get what you give to yourself and what you say to him for deepening more love between you and him.
- You will notice his love more, to notice his love will help you more happily.
- You will get what you give to yourself for shifting to your mind that you're just happy even you get married to him and you don't get married.
Regarding my counselling
【Pricing plans of E-mail counselling】
- 8,000 Yen per 2 times；You can get my counselling twice about your sufferings and your worries.
- You talk to me about your sufferings and your worries.
- I answer about that, I will share with you if I give you your work.
- You question me more if you have another questions. You talk to me through experiencing your work I give.
- I answer about that.
- 20,000 Yen per 1 month
- There’s no limit to the number of times you can get my counselling for a month.
※ Price, given in Japanese yen, differs depending on exchange rate against your local currency. Make some adjustment, as a result, money you send will be a little over your calculation. Fee for sending money is yours.
I recommend you to use “ Wise ” regarding Procedure of remittance ( sending money ) because fee for sending money is lower rather than others.
For procedure of remittance ( sending money ), you need my mail address and the registration of Wise. Registration fee for Wise has no charge. I’ll send my mail address to your mail address.
After my confirmation of your payment, you can get my counselling of E-mail.
Many people have written you many comments which you should leave, but I have a difference between their views and my view, I advise that you cherish your real feelings you want to marry him and you believe your real feelings and you give priority to your real feelings within your inside for you.
by Orga Mitsuki
2024.05.29 06:02 Direct-Caterpillar77 I'm a gaming widow
I am not The OOP, OOP is u/WanderingWifie
I'm a gaming widow
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest & Marriage
TRIGGER WARNING: addiction, physical violence
Original Post Apr 20, 2024
How is it not me? Help me understand as a gaming widow
My(38f) husband(34m) spent $1800 in 3 months on a mobile game. He recently started purchasing google play cards behind my back so it's not apparent on the bank statement. I caught him because I found it in our truck under the seat. Now he asks for google play cards...except I'm too scared to say no..he's so mean and cold and the walls have holes from it.
I started going to therapy because he's forced us into living almost below paycheck to paycheck. Ofc we've had multiple convos and he knows he may lose me.
I asked my therapist, "How is it not my fault when the kids and me are his life he's trying to escape?" . My therapist kept repeating, "I promise it's not, this is something within him".
I hate her answer.
Can you help me see it from his view? I feel like he doesn't want to be a father to our kids (2m, 7f). Maybe he doesn't want a life with me and can't admit it? Is therapist trying to coddle me? Like is she worried if she says, "WanderingWifie, you are a shit mom. You are a shit partner. You are a shit person. This is your fault because you're a SAHM and he hates living with you in the life you've created together!" That I'll never come back or hurt myself?
He tells me, "at least I'm here. I could be doing (xyz event away from home)after work". At this point I might as well consider him a "cardboard cutout that's glued to the chair". No, really. Our 2yr son got all the way out the door when I was in the backyard letting the dogs out.
I miss my husband so fucking much. We don't go to bed together anymore. He goes to bed at around 130am. I'm never his focus after the kids go to bed. He thinks he's "present" but I doubt he could tell you the plot of any movie or show we've watched lately. He's glued to it for all but maybe 1-2 waking hours...that's me being generous and counting all total points he briefly engages with us. He gets angry when I ask for help putting the kids to bed because it's in the middle of one of his battle raids.
Please please be brutally honest. I don't want to fight for someone to stay in a life they hate.
My MIL is trying to save me from her own son Apr 21, 2024
It just hit me this morning as I sat processing my most recent appointment. It was at her insistence that I saw a therapist that worked closely with women's health. My MIL is the one that briefed the therapist on the situation with her son and his addiction.
My therapist asked, "Does your MIL know how bad the situation at home can get?".
For a moment I didn't answer and the pieces slowly came together as I spoke, "I didn't need to. She saw the holes in the wall and now the shattered glass in the cabinet. I didn't even have a conversation about the cabinet. She texted me after that she was booking me with you and that a wife should never fear her husband. But I never said I was afraid. She knew.."
I cannot imagine how hard this must have been for my MIL; accepting her son is capable of evil and knowing the therapist would guide me into seeing the addiction and abuse wasn't normal, knowing it would leave to me putting plans in place to leave him. She did this knowing the divorce will be nasty and I will have main custody of the kids.
This woman stood up for other woman over her son and I don't know how to begin to thank her.
Edit: info: FIL & MIL grew up in physically abusive households they are not abusive.
My husband is verbally abusive. The concern is it transferring from holes in the walls/smashed glass to my face being met with his fist. For those that don't see holes in walls as warnings....you are blind the way I was...it can turn on a dime, it's a question of when. I had become so used to it preaddiction that it no longer phased me as "not normal". The addiction has ramped his anger issues up. I do not feel safe saying no when he asks to spend money on it.
Edit 2: I promise to continue to update and make posts. It's hard for me to not delete because this addiction...and what it's done...not only is it not talked about (on the rise according to my therapist and WHO has classified it as a disorder similar to gambling) but people that "don't get it" are like "WHAT A LOSER". Please understand this is a 13 year relationship (married for 9 of them) and he was not always like this. I loved the man I married. I do not love this man that has replaced him.
He said something really mean but it's true Apr 27, 2024
"At least I haven't wasted 30K on an education that resulted in nothing".
We've been fighting a lot...mostly about the mobile game addiction. I don't want to get into it here but it's a lot of money and time. My post history talks more about it.
I started crying on the spot when he said it. It was a low blow for many reasons.
I was supposed to start volunteering at the animal shelter and groom strays for free as per my therapist's hope to "get me out there". Instead, I'm sitting with my daughter watching movies... not wanting to see the light of day.
Update: My MIL is trying to save me from her own son May 22, 2024
Well...It's been over a month... and a lot happened. He blew up my chance to volunteer at the animal shelter. He did not like it when I got strong and said, "I'm not nothing without you; I have rights, you will owe my alimony, half of the house for starters". So he went after the therapist who also mainly runs the shelter... whatever he said made her not respond to my emails or messages. I believe he accused her of purposely ruining a marriage and probably some legal threat from his response. I'm really sad and feel like I can't trust therapists after this...I worry that maybe I'm too damaged... mostly I wonder what was said. I feel freaking abandoned but I don't want to unpack that in this post tbh.
Last night all hell broke loose and I said the words out loud, "I want a seperation- I'm done". I was/am done with doing all the house chores; (laundry, dishes, all & any house cleaning, pet feeding/walking/poop clean up, all the emotional labor of helping 7f with school & teachers, taking on all the finances because he can't be trusted not to spend stupidly & selfishly). I was/am tired of doing all the potty training with 2m and 95% of diapers. I was/am tired of feeling embarassed to let people in the house because of the holes in walls.
I bet you can guess how well it went. New wall holes. Hooray. I went into the laundry room, locked it, and screamed, "No! You don't come in here! This is my safe space. I will fucking call the cops.".
I stayed there for two hours. He kept trying to get me to come out and talk. I said, "I do not feel like we can have a conversation without fighting. " each time. Then I went to bed and pretended to sleep as he got ready for work (omg I was so happy he got called in).
In the morning I texted my mil that it was over and I was leaving at the end of the month. I asked her to make sure he has support during this time...because...I still love him and don't want him to anything dumb. She responded with simply "We (meaning my fil as well) love you ". Omg I cried. I cried because, as a mother myself, I cannot imagine how painful this is for her.
Later on my husband called me. I listened to that canary sing like his life depended on it. He said he would delete the game or not spend anything on it. He said he would create a chore sch with me so I wouldn't be doing everything.
My heart so badly wanted to believe it. I knew I couldn't give in...he needed to feel the gravity of his fuck ups; the almost 3k he spent on a game in 4 months, preventing me from going to therapy, ruining my chance to restart my former career (dog groomer), and just everything.
So that's all for now...I'm sitting here..at midnight...nervous for when he comes home tomorrow (he's gone 12-48 hours at a time for his job).
Ps. My dad is doing his second round of chemo and so far-so good. They did find cancer in his lymph nodes after surgery..so yes it spread but not as bad as it could be. Thank-you to the redditor's that said such kind things.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
OOP when asked why she is still talking to her husband and doesn't take the kids and leave
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7
submitted by Direct-Caterpillar77 to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
I'm a gaming widow
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest & Marriage
TRIGGER WARNING: addiction, physical violence
Original Post Apr 20, 2024
How is it not me? Help me understand as a gaming widow
My(38f) husband(34m) spent $1800 in 3 months on a mobile game. He recently started purchasing google play cards behind my back so it's not apparent on the bank statement. I caught him because I found it in our truck under the seat. Now he asks for google play cards...except I'm too scared to say no..he's so mean and cold and the walls have holes from it.
I started going to therapy because he's forced us into living almost below paycheck to paycheck. Ofc we've had multiple convos and he knows he may lose me.
I asked my therapist, "How is it not my fault when the kids and me are his life he's trying to escape?" . My therapist kept repeating, "I promise it's not, this is something within him".
I hate her answer.
Can you help me see it from his view? I feel like he doesn't want to be a father to our kids (2m, 7f). Maybe he doesn't want a life with me and can't admit it? Is therapist trying to coddle me? Like is she worried if she says, "WanderingWifie, you are a shit mom. You are a shit partner. You are a shit person. This is your fault because you're a SAHM and he hates living with you in the life you've created together!" That I'll never come back or hurt myself?
He tells me, "at least I'm here. I could be doing (xyz event away from home)after work". At this point I might as well consider him a "cardboard cutout that's glued to the chair". No, really. Our 2yr son got all the way out the door when I was in the backyard letting the dogs out.
I miss my husband so fucking much. We don't go to bed together anymore. He goes to bed at around 130am. I'm never his focus after the kids go to bed. He thinks he's "present" but I doubt he could tell you the plot of any movie or show we've watched lately. He's glued to it for all but maybe 1-2 waking hours...that's me being generous and counting all total points he briefly engages with us. He gets angry when I ask for help putting the kids to bed because it's in the middle of one of his battle raids.
Please please be brutally honest. I don't want to fight for someone to stay in a life they hate.
My MIL is trying to save me from her own son Apr 21, 2024
It just hit me this morning as I sat processing my most recent appointment. It was at her insistence that I saw a therapist that worked closely with women's health. My MIL is the one that briefed the therapist on the situation with her son and his addiction.
My therapist asked, "Does your MIL know how bad the situation at home can get?".
For a moment I didn't answer and the pieces slowly came together as I spoke, "I didn't need to. She saw the holes in the wall and now the shattered glass in the cabinet. I didn't even have a conversation about the cabinet. She texted me after that she was booking me with you and that a wife should never fear her husband. But I never said I was afraid. She knew.."
I cannot imagine how hard this must have been for my MIL; accepting her son is capable of evil and knowing the therapist would guide me into seeing the addiction and abuse wasn't normal, knowing it would leave to me putting plans in place to leave him. She did this knowing the divorce will be nasty and I will have main custody of the kids.
This woman stood up for other woman over her son and I don't know how to begin to thank her.
Edit: info: FIL & MIL grew up in physically abusive households they are not abusive.
My husband is verbally abusive. The concern is it transferring from holes in the walls/smashed glass to my face being met with his fist. For those that don't see holes in walls as warnings....you are blind the way I was...it can turn on a dime, it's a question of when. I had become so used to it preaddiction that it no longer phased me as "not normal". The addiction has ramped his anger issues up. I do not feel safe saying no when he asks to spend money on it.
Edit 2: I promise to continue to update and make posts. It's hard for me to not delete because this addiction...and what it's done...not only is it not talked about (on the rise according to my therapist and WHO has classified it as a disorder similar to gambling) but people that "don't get it" are like "WHAT A LOSER". Please understand this is a 13 year relationship (married for 9 of them) and he was not always like this. I loved the man I married. I do not love this man that has replaced him.
He said something really mean but it's true Apr 27, 2024
"At least I haven't wasted 30K on an education that resulted in nothing".
We've been fighting a lot...mostly about the mobile game addiction. I don't want to get into it here but it's a lot of money and time. My post history talks more about it.
I started crying on the spot when he said it. It was a low blow for many reasons.
- I tried several different majors in my 20's but bad mental health got in my way and I failed.
- I graduated last summer from a medical trade there are no jobs for.
- I got fired in Jan (2 weeks from the 90 day probation) from my last job and it devastated me because I tried my hardest at it...I guess I'm just garbage at admin work.
- I've been feeling very lost in life and wondering my purpose. Should I go back to my career I had before the kids? I was just a dog groomer...average at best..I tried to break away with a career change but that failed..as you can see.
I was supposed to start volunteering at the animal shelter and groom strays for free as per my therapist's hope to "get me out there". Instead, I'm sitting with my daughter watching movies... not wanting to see the light of day.
Update: My MIL is trying to save me from her own son May 22, 2024
Well...It's been over a month... and a lot happened. He blew up my chance to volunteer at the animal shelter. He did not like it when I got strong and said, "I'm not nothing without you; I have rights, you will owe my alimony, half of the house for starters". So he went after the therapist who also mainly runs the shelter... whatever he said made her not respond to my emails or messages. I believe he accused her of purposely ruining a marriage and probably some legal threat from his response. I'm really sad and feel like I can't trust therapists after this...I worry that maybe I'm too damaged... mostly I wonder what was said. I feel freaking abandoned but I don't want to unpack that in this post tbh.
Last night all hell broke loose and I said the words out loud, "I want a seperation- I'm done". I was/am done with doing all the house chores; (laundry, dishes, all & any house cleaning, pet feeding/walking/poop clean up, all the emotional labor of helping 7f with school & teachers, taking on all the finances because he can't be trusted not to spend stupidly & selfishly). I was/am tired of doing all the potty training with 2m and 95% of diapers. I was/am tired of feeling embarassed to let people in the house because of the holes in walls.
I bet you can guess how well it went. New wall holes. Hooray. I went into the laundry room, locked it, and screamed, "No! You don't come in here! This is my safe space. I will fucking call the cops.".
I stayed there for two hours. He kept trying to get me to come out and talk. I said, "I do not feel like we can have a conversation without fighting. " each time. Then I went to bed and pretended to sleep as he got ready for work (omg I was so happy he got called in).
In the morning I texted my mil that it was over and I was leaving at the end of the month. I asked her to make sure he has support during this time...because...I still love him and don't want him to anything dumb. She responded with simply "We (meaning my fil as well) love you ". Omg I cried. I cried because, as a mother myself, I cannot imagine how painful this is for her.
Later on my husband called me. I listened to that canary sing like his life depended on it. He said he would delete the game or not spend anything on it. He said he would create a chore sch with me so I wouldn't be doing everything.
My heart so badly wanted to believe it. I knew I couldn't give in...he needed to feel the gravity of his fuck ups; the almost 3k he spent on a game in 4 months, preventing me from going to therapy, ruining my chance to restart my former career (dog groomer), and just everything.
So that's all for now...I'm sitting here..at midnight...nervous for when he comes home tomorrow (he's gone 12-48 hours at a time for his job).
Ps. My dad is doing his second round of chemo and so far-so good. They did find cancer in his lymph nodes after surgery..so yes it spread but not as bad as it could be. Thank-you to the redditor's that said such kind things.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
OOP when asked why she is still talking to her husband and doesn't take the kids and leave
It's a funny thing. This is someone I've been with for 13 years. The major shift in everything happened 4 months ago when he found the game. It's not so easy when you've been a sahm for 7 years esp in this job market.THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
I used to say the same thing as you when I heard of people in abusive situations. All I can say is unless you've been in a situation similar you do not and cannot possibly understand.
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7
2024.05.29 06:00 Direct-Caterpillar77 TIFU by realizing I wasn’t washing my “hair” right for 20+ years
I am not The OOP, OOP is u/ADHDabsurdity
TIFU by realizing I wasn’t washing my “hair” right for 20+ years
Originally posted to tifu
TRIGGER WARNING: depictions of severe skin conditions
Original Post Aug 2, 2023
Uh okay. So warning.. this is very much gross.
Over the past several weeks I have been feeling these weird skin-like but not fully-attached lumps on my head. I’ve been scratching and picking them off fully (or so I thought) and didn’t give it a second thought.
Well, today my boyfriend takes a good look at my scalp in one of those spots that I was scratching because he was curious as to what I was doing. Apparently I was really going at it without noticing.
He practically gasped and asked me if I had hit my head, or if it hurt. I was stunned for a moment (it only felt like a little dry skin) and that began my panic induced examination. As it turns out, my entire scalp is covered in ranges of flaky to thick lumps of dandruff. And because I have a lot of hair, it isn’t noticeable on the outside unless you start going through layer by layer…
I obsessively begin to scratch and scrape my entire scalp to the point where it’s now in pain. There’s flakes and chunks entangled throughout my hair.. I am freaking out. I start Googling, thinking I must be dying, all my hair is about to fall out, etc.
Yeah.. no. Apparently you are supposed to scrub your scalp when you shampoo… I never knew this. Also I immediately put my wet hair in a bun or braid every time I washed it so it didn’t dry for literally 24 hours and caused more dry skin buildup. I really hope that after years (plus scraping for hours today) I haven’t really fucked my scalp up.
TL;DR : I haven’t scrubbed my scalp for 20 years because I didn’t know you had to. I have been scraping chunks of dry skin off my scalp for the past few hours. I feel disgusting.
EDIT: Firstly I’d like to say thank you to everyone for your advice and kind replies! I also wanted to answer a few of the common questions I saw.
1) “How did you not notice this for so long?” - I don’t think it was this bad my entire life, as I’ve said I’ve only seen flakes sometimes. It got like this sometime recently. I don’t particularly make note of checking my scalp on a periodic basis. Also if you haven’t already noticed by my username, I have ADHD. Out of sight out of mind. I don’t even intend to be gross… but like many others with ADHD we can struggle with habit, routines, etc.
2) “Why did you not just go to a doctor?” - I’m in America and healthcare costs are high. I can’t afford to go see one at this time even with insurance.
3) “Where did you put shampoo then?” - I put it on my head (obviously) and throughout all my hair. I think since my hair is so thick that when lathering the shampoo in, I may not have been really getting it onto my scalp enough. I’ve made note of the shampooing twice to help with that though, so thanks to those who said that!
4) “Did your parents not teach you ‘xyz’?” - Apparently not. Not everyone has good parents. I definitely did not. I’ve had to figure out many things throughout life on my own.
Most replies were very positive/helpful though. Thank you! I will be getting a new shampoo as I’ve been using a very cheap brand. Hopefully that helps!
TOP COMMENTS
NovaHorizon
3pelican
Hi. It’s me again. I posted nearly a year ago about my “disgusting” scalp. Most comments were super helpful & positive. Others… called me a gross human being.
Anyhow, as it turns out, many of you were correct. I have psoriasis. I wasn’t washing my haiscalp wrong like I had thought. (I thought you had to scrape it basically.. like many other commenters had me believe.) but I am not an unhygienic person. Quite the opposite.
After posting that, I started to develop dry patches behind one of my ears, and around my eyebrows. No amount of washing, or lotion, makes them go away. So yeah. Turns out I wasn’t washing myself incorrectly. I just have psoriasis… I guess even this update is basically another “TIFU” by thinking I was not washing myself correctly; when I just had a skin condition.
Thanks to everyone who gave tips for dealing with psoriasis! And I’m glad my post called light to an issue that is more common than people think!
TL;DR: My real fuck up was not that I was washing myself incorrectly. I have psoriasis.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Sarcasmiron
dano5
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7
submitted by Direct-Caterpillar77 to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
TIFU by realizing I wasn’t washing my “hair” right for 20+ years
Originally posted to tifu
TRIGGER WARNING: depictions of severe skin conditions
Original Post Aug 2, 2023
Uh okay. So warning.. this is very much gross.
Over the past several weeks I have been feeling these weird skin-like but not fully-attached lumps on my head. I’ve been scratching and picking them off fully (or so I thought) and didn’t give it a second thought.
Well, today my boyfriend takes a good look at my scalp in one of those spots that I was scratching because he was curious as to what I was doing. Apparently I was really going at it without noticing.
He practically gasped and asked me if I had hit my head, or if it hurt. I was stunned for a moment (it only felt like a little dry skin) and that began my panic induced examination. As it turns out, my entire scalp is covered in ranges of flaky to thick lumps of dandruff. And because I have a lot of hair, it isn’t noticeable on the outside unless you start going through layer by layer…
I obsessively begin to scratch and scrape my entire scalp to the point where it’s now in pain. There’s flakes and chunks entangled throughout my hair.. I am freaking out. I start Googling, thinking I must be dying, all my hair is about to fall out, etc.
Yeah.. no. Apparently you are supposed to scrub your scalp when you shampoo… I never knew this. Also I immediately put my wet hair in a bun or braid every time I washed it so it didn’t dry for literally 24 hours and caused more dry skin buildup. I really hope that after years (plus scraping for hours today) I haven’t really fucked my scalp up.
TL;DR : I haven’t scrubbed my scalp for 20 years because I didn’t know you had to. I have been scraping chunks of dry skin off my scalp for the past few hours. I feel disgusting.
EDIT: Firstly I’d like to say thank you to everyone for your advice and kind replies! I also wanted to answer a few of the common questions I saw.
1) “How did you not notice this for so long?” - I don’t think it was this bad my entire life, as I’ve said I’ve only seen flakes sometimes. It got like this sometime recently. I don’t particularly make note of checking my scalp on a periodic basis. Also if you haven’t already noticed by my username, I have ADHD. Out of sight out of mind. I don’t even intend to be gross… but like many others with ADHD we can struggle with habit, routines, etc.
2) “Why did you not just go to a doctor?” - I’m in America and healthcare costs are high. I can’t afford to go see one at this time even with insurance.
3) “Where did you put shampoo then?” - I put it on my head (obviously) and throughout all my hair. I think since my hair is so thick that when lathering the shampoo in, I may not have been really getting it onto my scalp enough. I’ve made note of the shampooing twice to help with that though, so thanks to those who said that!
4) “Did your parents not teach you ‘xyz’?” - Apparently not. Not everyone has good parents. I definitely did not. I’ve had to figure out many things throughout life on my own.
Most replies were very positive/helpful though. Thank you! I will be getting a new shampoo as I’ve been using a very cheap brand. Hopefully that helps!
TOP COMMENTS
NovaHorizon
Go see a dermatologist! That doesn't sound like a pure hygiene issue.obsidianbonefish
~Sounds like psoriasis on your scalp. The flakes are thick and oily. A dermatologist can prescribe something for it.
3pelican
Tbh it sounds more like you could have developed psoriasis or something on your scalp. I don’t ‘scrub’ my scalp when I shampoo my hair - sure I get the shampoo to the roots but I’m not actively trying to exfoliate my head - and I don’t have this issue. You should see someone about it.TIFUpdate by realizing I wasn’t washing my “hair” right for 20+ years May 20, 2024 (9 months later)
Hi. It’s me again. I posted nearly a year ago about my “disgusting” scalp. Most comments were super helpful & positive. Others… called me a gross human being.
Anyhow, as it turns out, many of you were correct. I have psoriasis. I wasn’t washing my haiscalp wrong like I had thought. (I thought you had to scrape it basically.. like many other commenters had me believe.) but I am not an unhygienic person. Quite the opposite.
After posting that, I started to develop dry patches behind one of my ears, and around my eyebrows. No amount of washing, or lotion, makes them go away. So yeah. Turns out I wasn’t washing myself incorrectly. I just have psoriasis… I guess even this update is basically another “TIFU” by thinking I was not washing myself correctly; when I just had a skin condition.
Thanks to everyone who gave tips for dealing with psoriasis! And I’m glad my post called light to an issue that is more common than people think!
TL;DR: My real fuck up was not that I was washing myself incorrectly. I have psoriasis.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Sarcasmiron
I hope you got the psoriasis diagnosis from a dermatologist. Don't rely on reddit diagnosis. See a dermatologist if you haven't already, if you want a guaranteed plan of action.OOP
~Yes. I’d never just rely on a “Reddit diagnosis” . I’m not insane lol. People on here can give good advice but I know they aren’t doctors. I saw a dermatologist (again). I already had been living with a minor skin condition; keratosis pilaris. And my brother has eczema. But now I have been diagnosed with psoriasis.
dano5
do you have the nail-pits? it looks like someone took a needle to my nails on my hands.OOP
that's how I found out... and going bald once in a while helps me and my scalp a lot, but that's not for everyone :p
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOPYeah I actually do.. I never considered anything of it though. And was always told it wasn’t a cause for concern. They were just “marks that meant you’ve survived trauma”. So that is really interesting that you brought that up. As for the going bald to help it part, idk if that’s something I could ever do. My hair means a lot to me. As a female/fairly feminine person, I can’t imagine myself without my hair.
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7
2024.05.29 05:56 umekoangel Foot frustration
Background: I have ehlers danlos syndrome, fibromyalgia, POTS
TLDR?: My foot rolled over on itself early Thursday morning, went to urgent care to get an X-ray, claimed no fracture or dislocation. Foot has been gradually getting more swollen and blue bruise color. Went to ER early this morning (Tuesday) because of IMMENSE pain, they refused to admit me saying it wasn't a "true emergency" and refused to even do any kind of imaging study (X-ray, CT, ultrasound). Hospitalist I work with says that's bullshit, they should have admitted me. Earliest orthopedic appointment I could get is Thursday and I'm legitimately concerned now if I should try to go to a different hospital to try to get formally admitted so the surgeons can examine my foot.
So I unwrapped my foot right before settling in for bed (didn't think to take a photo and I don't wanna go through the whole process of unwrapping it now), the foot swelling is worse by about 10-20%, the cyanosis (blue bruise color of my skin) is starting to spread over my entire foot (it's like a very faint shade of blue-purple) and going up my ankle.
When we went to the hospital this morning at about 4am, doctor said "well we aren't going to admit you because this isn't an emergency, emergency, we will give you some pain meds and nausea meds so if you feel ill in your stomach you can take the nausea" despite me clearly saying "can I at least get an ultrasound or CT to check on the soft tissues?" And they refused saying I needed to be formally admitted for this.
The earliest I could get an orthopedist appointment is Thursday morning. It feels like my skin is being stretched painfully thin over my foot where the injury occured (basically I got up too fast from the couch, BP dropped, pots episode, foot rolled over on itself in my effort to self correct).
My boyfriend is really concerned about my foot (he's not one to easily worry) and is worried that I could lose potential sensation or worse case scenerio, possible toe amputation because of how badly swollen things look (as well as the bluish color).
So now I'm laying in bed, with a wrap around my banged up foot and a hot toes/hands in the wrapping to try heat therapy to encourage the muscles and everything to relax.
He flat out said "if you get a lot of pain again tonight, fuck it, we are going to another hospital and demanding you get admitted because this is not okay at all". I work with a hospitalist remotely in another state (been working with this one for about 8 years), explained the foot situation and he texted me "😠 what the fuck if I saw you, I would have absolutely admitted you."
So, what exactly is the next best move? Really hoping I don't wake up in the middle of the night in a lot of pain again, at the same time, I am now legit worried about the condition of my foot and I do not want to risk any life long damage to it or potential amputation of toes due to lack of blood flow because the swelling is so bad right now.
submitted by umekoangel to disability [link] [comments]
TLDR?: My foot rolled over on itself early Thursday morning, went to urgent care to get an X-ray, claimed no fracture or dislocation. Foot has been gradually getting more swollen and blue bruise color. Went to ER early this morning (Tuesday) because of IMMENSE pain, they refused to admit me saying it wasn't a "true emergency" and refused to even do any kind of imaging study (X-ray, CT, ultrasound). Hospitalist I work with says that's bullshit, they should have admitted me. Earliest orthopedic appointment I could get is Thursday and I'm legitimately concerned now if I should try to go to a different hospital to try to get formally admitted so the surgeons can examine my foot.
So I unwrapped my foot right before settling in for bed (didn't think to take a photo and I don't wanna go through the whole process of unwrapping it now), the foot swelling is worse by about 10-20%, the cyanosis (blue bruise color of my skin) is starting to spread over my entire foot (it's like a very faint shade of blue-purple) and going up my ankle.
When we went to the hospital this morning at about 4am, doctor said "well we aren't going to admit you because this isn't an emergency, emergency, we will give you some pain meds and nausea meds so if you feel ill in your stomach you can take the nausea" despite me clearly saying "can I at least get an ultrasound or CT to check on the soft tissues?" And they refused saying I needed to be formally admitted for this.
The earliest I could get an orthopedist appointment is Thursday morning. It feels like my skin is being stretched painfully thin over my foot where the injury occured (basically I got up too fast from the couch, BP dropped, pots episode, foot rolled over on itself in my effort to self correct).
My boyfriend is really concerned about my foot (he's not one to easily worry) and is worried that I could lose potential sensation or worse case scenerio, possible toe amputation because of how badly swollen things look (as well as the bluish color).
So now I'm laying in bed, with a wrap around my banged up foot and a hot toes/hands in the wrapping to try heat therapy to encourage the muscles and everything to relax.
He flat out said "if you get a lot of pain again tonight, fuck it, we are going to another hospital and demanding you get admitted because this is not okay at all". I work with a hospitalist remotely in another state (been working with this one for about 8 years), explained the foot situation and he texted me "😠 what the fuck if I saw you, I would have absolutely admitted you."
So, what exactly is the next best move? Really hoping I don't wake up in the middle of the night in a lot of pain again, at the same time, I am now legit worried about the condition of my foot and I do not want to risk any life long damage to it or potential amputation of toes due to lack of blood flow because the swelling is so bad right now.
2024.05.29 05:55 lilkorea_189 Packed up my life for a man only for our relationship to sour almost immediately
I, 35 female, had been in an on again off again relationship with my boyfriend, 45 male, for the last 3 years. I won't bore you with the details of how we met and what went on for the last 3 years of our relationship, I'm just going to get to the point.
Back in late September 2023, my boyfriend moved to Iowa. We had just gotten back together when he sprung that on me and I was rather upset at first but knew that he was only moving because it was for his mental health. Living in the big city can be very costly and stressful, so I understood his reasoning. I did not go with him and figured we would go our separate ways. Fast forward four months later and I get a message from him through Facebook messenger asking me to call him. I call him and learned rather quickly that he had been drinking but he was asking why I suddenly ghosted him by not replying back to his texts or calls. For context, I never blocked his number.
I told him that I did not get any of his texts or calls. He asked me why I never tried reaching out to him and I explained that I thought him moving away and not staying in contact meant the end of our relationship. We had a lengthy conversation that night and he asked me to come visit him. I told him that I will consider it but would need to build up some PTO as I had just started a new job and didn't want to risk anything during my first 90 days. We stayed in touch after that, calling each other daily and talking on the phone for hours just catching up and going over mutual interests and so on until I've built up enough PTO to go visit him.
You may wonder why I was the one to go visit him in Iowa. Firstly, he wanted me to see the town he had decided to settle in. Secondly, we had discussed resuming our relationship and possibly having me move out there as it was out of the question for him to move back to the city where I live. I understood his reasoning for moving but felt that leaving the life I have behind for him felt a bit extreme. But I kept an open mind about Iowa and went to visit (side note, there are no direct flights to where he moved to. I had to fly to Chicago, which is a 2.5 hour drive away and he had to rent a car to pick me up). I spent a four day weekend with him, and I'm not going to lie and say that it was magical and romantic because it's Iowa. Seeing him again, however, brought back all the feelings I had for him and I realized just how much I had missed him.
I honestly didn't see much during my visit as it wasn't a dense town like I would see back home, as everything was very spread out. That should have been my very first clue to the kind of life it was like. It was very quiet and peaceful, which was a change. Unlike the city where it was always busy and sirens going off in the distance was a constant, at night it's dead silent. It was definitely a change in pace and I was more or less charmed, but not impressed. My weekend visit was over before we knew it and I returned home back to the life I was most comfortable with.
My boyfriend and I resumed our daily phone calls, but I noticed our conversations began to shift towards me moving out to Iowa. And in truth I was swayed by the idea of leaving the big city for small town life, however, my biggest hesitation was job security. I work in the medical field and finding a job with my skill-sets wasn't a huge challenge aside from the lack of urgency of callbacks from the jobs I had applied to. My boyfriend reassured me that it was just how things were in Iowa, that unlike the city, the businesses moved through a system that was much slower than what I was used to. I had my doubts but then again I didn't know much about the hiring process in the mid-west. My boyfriend then said it would probably go a lot faster if I was actually in the area (which I was skeptical about but didn't comment). I knew he just wanted me there with him and, at that time, I wanted to be with him because I had truly believed that we had talked through our past issues and were now on the same wavelength of what we wanted as a couple moving forward.
Boy was I in for a rude awakening.
I literally packed up my life into my SUV. I didn't take any furniture with me knowing that what my boyfriend lacked we could always buy. It took me 3 days of driving to reach Iowa and I had never thought I'd be so happy to be in Iowa or all places, but I was. I was blinded by hopes and dreams of a happy life with the man I thought I was in love with. I should mention that I have been saving money for a down payment on a house for the last 5 years and have managed to save $20k. It has been a personal goal, not dream, for myself to be a homeowner, not because I want that white picket fence dream, but because I simply want a home that is truly MY home. I want a safe space that truly feels mine and have it reflect the type of person that I am, instead of apartments where I would have to return the space to the manufactured setting once I leave.
Now, the housing market in Iowa is relatively cheap compared to Washington. And when I saw the cheap listings, cheap as in less than $200k for a 3 bedroom 2 bath, move-in ready house I was ready to commit my new life in Iowa with my boyfriend. At first, my boyfriend was very supportive of my house hunting, he knew that it was personal goal of mine and had always said how he admired my ambition to become a home owner. I got in touch with a realtor agent who collaborated with me on what my boyfriend and I were looking for in a home. I probably saw about a dozen houses within my first 2 weeks since arriving to Iowa and I actually found a house that we both really liked. I was ready to put in an offer when my boyfriend suddenly told me that he didn't want to become a home owner, saying that it was too much of a commitment that he never wants to make.
It gave me pause, and though I was very disappointed in having to put aside a goal I made for myself, I half-heartedly agreed. It was then things started to unravel between us and his mood just quickly declined. I should note that my boyfriend has diagnosed PTSD from childhood trauma and he has a tendency to become anxious and agitated when stressed out. The days that followed I had noticed a shift in him and because he works from home, I just assumed it was because his work was stressing him out.
I tried to be a good girlfriend by staying out of his way while he was working and try to be as quiet as possible while at home. I would try to help out with small things like letting the dogs out to relieve themselves and take them on short walks. I tried to be mindful to not make a mess. Along with my boyfriend's anxiety and mental health struggles he also has OCD, and while back in Seattle I had noticed he liked to keep a clean home, out in Iowa it had become abundantly clear that the smallest mess would upset him.
His bad mood only worsened. One day, while he was folding laundry, I asked him if there was anything he'd like me to do around the house because I wanted to be helpful. He said "If you see a mess, clean it." That came off as truly strange to me.
"Do you want me to vacuum or clean the bathrooms?" I asked.
He looked at me like what I had asked was the dumbest question he had ever heard and snapped at me with: "If you see a mess, clean it. You're not 12 years old, you're not being paid an allowance to do simple chores. You're an adult, you should already know what to do."
What he said embarrassed me and made me feel so small and inferior, but it also truly angered me. Where was all this hostility suddenly coming from? I didn't want to start a fight over chores and simply helped him fold the laundry. We eventually had a talk, which turned into him going on a tangent about how he requires to keep a clean and sterile house, that "everything has its place" in the house. He then went on about not wanting the commitment of home ownership and that he has no intentions of ever returning to Seattle. He told me how all my stuff cluttering the bedroom and office is taking a toll on his mental health and that it's my job to make sure that they're all put away so he doesn't have to see them (mind you, I was still unpacking and with limited storage space the rest of my belongings are still packed away).
Then he suggested something that blindsided me. He suggested that I possibly look for my own place so that we live separately and slowly integrate into each other's lives again. It was then that I took account of all the red flags that had sprung up from before I foolishly packed up my life to be with this man that I suddenly no longer loved. It was as if a switch in me had been flipped and all those feelings of affection just left my system. I told him that what he was proposing wasn't possible because I was struggling to find employment and didn't want to waste my savings on a brand new lease, especially since I was just added onto his lease.
I tried to find a middle ground with him, especially when it came to my personal belongings. I knew that he was talking about my makeup being out on the counter. Mind you, my second day in Iowa, we had gone to Costco where I found a makeup organizer and purchased it. All my makeup fits neatly in it and isn't scattered all over the place, he just doesn't like seeing them. That still wasn't good enough for him but I had to point it out to him by saying "I live here, too. It's only fair that I should feel like this is my home."
After that, the tension between us only got worse. He would have angry outbursts over the smallest inconveniences and prioritize more on his "mental and physical health" than work on our rapidly deteriorating relationship. I'm also at fault for not trying harder to talk things out but after he suggested I find my own place I subconsciously knew our relationship was over, on top of that, I was also emotionally drained and feeling depressed.
Now moving to the present, I had finally secured a job that would be opening a clinic nearby, meaning I wouldn't have to waste gas as much and would finally be able to contribute financially to the household. When I told my boyfriend the news it was received with a rather lackluster response but I still held out hope that once I start working and be out of the house more things might mellow out. Then, over the weekend, everything fell apart.
I had woken up early because the dogs needed to go outside. I knew my boyfriend wasn't getting much sleep lately so I let him sleep in as much as possible. Once the dogs had finished relieving themselves I had the intention of going back to bed to get another hour or so of sleep but the dogs came in to disrupt that plan. My boyfriend didn't like that and got up explosively, cursing and yelling as he stomped downstairs about how he couldn't get any sleep. I go downstairs to tell him that he can go back to bed, that I forgot to feed the dogs after letting them outside and that I would take care of it. He yells at me that he would do it since he's up and then goes on a rant about how his life was disrupted ever since I arrived. Let me remind you that he wanted me there in the first place.
He blamed me for the poor sleep he's been having ever since I arrived (there is also 3 dogs sleeping in the bed with us). He blamed me for his financial woes (he took care of the bills until I found a job). He blamed me for the hit to his credit score (I took a hit as well because we were getting pre-approval for a home loan before he said he didn't want to move forward with it). Blamed me for the decline in his mental and physical health (he vapes throughout the day and his vices are scotch and ice cream). And he blamed me for his inability to focus on drawing his comic series because of his mental health decline (he's a decent artist but I can't take credit for his creative block).
While he listed off all the things I am to be blamed for and how he had made so many compromises for me I reflected back on my surprisingly short time here (3 weeks, nearing 4), I was the one who made all the compromises. I was the one who made the bigger sacrifice. I traveled half-way across the country for a man who will never make my happiness a priority. From the start of our relationship 3 years ago to now, I was the only one who had to make sacrifices just to pacify this giant man-child.
He brought up me finding my own place again and I told him that if I have to move out then I'm returning to Seattle. He didn't fight me on that but the downside is that I have to wait for my parents, who had planned to drive out this way in June from Seattle, to visit friends in Chicago. They've been made aware of the situation and will be driving out in my step-dad's pickup truck to haul back all of my belongings and we would leave together in both my step-dad;s truck and my SUV. I had emailed the hiring manager I had gone through my interview process with, letting her know that I unfortunately will be returning to Seattle due to personal circumstances.
In the meantime I have begun submitting my resume to clinics and hospitals back in Seattle and already have several interviews set up (much faster turn-around than Iowa) and hopefully soon I will have secured a job before my return home.
submitted by lilkorea_189 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
Back in late September 2023, my boyfriend moved to Iowa. We had just gotten back together when he sprung that on me and I was rather upset at first but knew that he was only moving because it was for his mental health. Living in the big city can be very costly and stressful, so I understood his reasoning. I did not go with him and figured we would go our separate ways. Fast forward four months later and I get a message from him through Facebook messenger asking me to call him. I call him and learned rather quickly that he had been drinking but he was asking why I suddenly ghosted him by not replying back to his texts or calls. For context, I never blocked his number.
I told him that I did not get any of his texts or calls. He asked me why I never tried reaching out to him and I explained that I thought him moving away and not staying in contact meant the end of our relationship. We had a lengthy conversation that night and he asked me to come visit him. I told him that I will consider it but would need to build up some PTO as I had just started a new job and didn't want to risk anything during my first 90 days. We stayed in touch after that, calling each other daily and talking on the phone for hours just catching up and going over mutual interests and so on until I've built up enough PTO to go visit him.
You may wonder why I was the one to go visit him in Iowa. Firstly, he wanted me to see the town he had decided to settle in. Secondly, we had discussed resuming our relationship and possibly having me move out there as it was out of the question for him to move back to the city where I live. I understood his reasoning for moving but felt that leaving the life I have behind for him felt a bit extreme. But I kept an open mind about Iowa and went to visit (side note, there are no direct flights to where he moved to. I had to fly to Chicago, which is a 2.5 hour drive away and he had to rent a car to pick me up). I spent a four day weekend with him, and I'm not going to lie and say that it was magical and romantic because it's Iowa. Seeing him again, however, brought back all the feelings I had for him and I realized just how much I had missed him.
I honestly didn't see much during my visit as it wasn't a dense town like I would see back home, as everything was very spread out. That should have been my very first clue to the kind of life it was like. It was very quiet and peaceful, which was a change. Unlike the city where it was always busy and sirens going off in the distance was a constant, at night it's dead silent. It was definitely a change in pace and I was more or less charmed, but not impressed. My weekend visit was over before we knew it and I returned home back to the life I was most comfortable with.
My boyfriend and I resumed our daily phone calls, but I noticed our conversations began to shift towards me moving out to Iowa. And in truth I was swayed by the idea of leaving the big city for small town life, however, my biggest hesitation was job security. I work in the medical field and finding a job with my skill-sets wasn't a huge challenge aside from the lack of urgency of callbacks from the jobs I had applied to. My boyfriend reassured me that it was just how things were in Iowa, that unlike the city, the businesses moved through a system that was much slower than what I was used to. I had my doubts but then again I didn't know much about the hiring process in the mid-west. My boyfriend then said it would probably go a lot faster if I was actually in the area (which I was skeptical about but didn't comment). I knew he just wanted me there with him and, at that time, I wanted to be with him because I had truly believed that we had talked through our past issues and were now on the same wavelength of what we wanted as a couple moving forward.
Boy was I in for a rude awakening.
I literally packed up my life into my SUV. I didn't take any furniture with me knowing that what my boyfriend lacked we could always buy. It took me 3 days of driving to reach Iowa and I had never thought I'd be so happy to be in Iowa or all places, but I was. I was blinded by hopes and dreams of a happy life with the man I thought I was in love with. I should mention that I have been saving money for a down payment on a house for the last 5 years and have managed to save $20k. It has been a personal goal, not dream, for myself to be a homeowner, not because I want that white picket fence dream, but because I simply want a home that is truly MY home. I want a safe space that truly feels mine and have it reflect the type of person that I am, instead of apartments where I would have to return the space to the manufactured setting once I leave.
Now, the housing market in Iowa is relatively cheap compared to Washington. And when I saw the cheap listings, cheap as in less than $200k for a 3 bedroom 2 bath, move-in ready house I was ready to commit my new life in Iowa with my boyfriend. At first, my boyfriend was very supportive of my house hunting, he knew that it was personal goal of mine and had always said how he admired my ambition to become a home owner. I got in touch with a realtor agent who collaborated with me on what my boyfriend and I were looking for in a home. I probably saw about a dozen houses within my first 2 weeks since arriving to Iowa and I actually found a house that we both really liked. I was ready to put in an offer when my boyfriend suddenly told me that he didn't want to become a home owner, saying that it was too much of a commitment that he never wants to make.
It gave me pause, and though I was very disappointed in having to put aside a goal I made for myself, I half-heartedly agreed. It was then things started to unravel between us and his mood just quickly declined. I should note that my boyfriend has diagnosed PTSD from childhood trauma and he has a tendency to become anxious and agitated when stressed out. The days that followed I had noticed a shift in him and because he works from home, I just assumed it was because his work was stressing him out.
I tried to be a good girlfriend by staying out of his way while he was working and try to be as quiet as possible while at home. I would try to help out with small things like letting the dogs out to relieve themselves and take them on short walks. I tried to be mindful to not make a mess. Along with my boyfriend's anxiety and mental health struggles he also has OCD, and while back in Seattle I had noticed he liked to keep a clean home, out in Iowa it had become abundantly clear that the smallest mess would upset him.
His bad mood only worsened. One day, while he was folding laundry, I asked him if there was anything he'd like me to do around the house because I wanted to be helpful. He said "If you see a mess, clean it." That came off as truly strange to me.
"Do you want me to vacuum or clean the bathrooms?" I asked.
He looked at me like what I had asked was the dumbest question he had ever heard and snapped at me with: "If you see a mess, clean it. You're not 12 years old, you're not being paid an allowance to do simple chores. You're an adult, you should already know what to do."
What he said embarrassed me and made me feel so small and inferior, but it also truly angered me. Where was all this hostility suddenly coming from? I didn't want to start a fight over chores and simply helped him fold the laundry. We eventually had a talk, which turned into him going on a tangent about how he requires to keep a clean and sterile house, that "everything has its place" in the house. He then went on about not wanting the commitment of home ownership and that he has no intentions of ever returning to Seattle. He told me how all my stuff cluttering the bedroom and office is taking a toll on his mental health and that it's my job to make sure that they're all put away so he doesn't have to see them (mind you, I was still unpacking and with limited storage space the rest of my belongings are still packed away).
Then he suggested something that blindsided me. He suggested that I possibly look for my own place so that we live separately and slowly integrate into each other's lives again. It was then that I took account of all the red flags that had sprung up from before I foolishly packed up my life to be with this man that I suddenly no longer loved. It was as if a switch in me had been flipped and all those feelings of affection just left my system. I told him that what he was proposing wasn't possible because I was struggling to find employment and didn't want to waste my savings on a brand new lease, especially since I was just added onto his lease.
I tried to find a middle ground with him, especially when it came to my personal belongings. I knew that he was talking about my makeup being out on the counter. Mind you, my second day in Iowa, we had gone to Costco where I found a makeup organizer and purchased it. All my makeup fits neatly in it and isn't scattered all over the place, he just doesn't like seeing them. That still wasn't good enough for him but I had to point it out to him by saying "I live here, too. It's only fair that I should feel like this is my home."
After that, the tension between us only got worse. He would have angry outbursts over the smallest inconveniences and prioritize more on his "mental and physical health" than work on our rapidly deteriorating relationship. I'm also at fault for not trying harder to talk things out but after he suggested I find my own place I subconsciously knew our relationship was over, on top of that, I was also emotionally drained and feeling depressed.
Now moving to the present, I had finally secured a job that would be opening a clinic nearby, meaning I wouldn't have to waste gas as much and would finally be able to contribute financially to the household. When I told my boyfriend the news it was received with a rather lackluster response but I still held out hope that once I start working and be out of the house more things might mellow out. Then, over the weekend, everything fell apart.
I had woken up early because the dogs needed to go outside. I knew my boyfriend wasn't getting much sleep lately so I let him sleep in as much as possible. Once the dogs had finished relieving themselves I had the intention of going back to bed to get another hour or so of sleep but the dogs came in to disrupt that plan. My boyfriend didn't like that and got up explosively, cursing and yelling as he stomped downstairs about how he couldn't get any sleep. I go downstairs to tell him that he can go back to bed, that I forgot to feed the dogs after letting them outside and that I would take care of it. He yells at me that he would do it since he's up and then goes on a rant about how his life was disrupted ever since I arrived. Let me remind you that he wanted me there in the first place.
He blamed me for the poor sleep he's been having ever since I arrived (there is also 3 dogs sleeping in the bed with us). He blamed me for his financial woes (he took care of the bills until I found a job). He blamed me for the hit to his credit score (I took a hit as well because we were getting pre-approval for a home loan before he said he didn't want to move forward with it). Blamed me for the decline in his mental and physical health (he vapes throughout the day and his vices are scotch and ice cream). And he blamed me for his inability to focus on drawing his comic series because of his mental health decline (he's a decent artist but I can't take credit for his creative block).
While he listed off all the things I am to be blamed for and how he had made so many compromises for me I reflected back on my surprisingly short time here (3 weeks, nearing 4), I was the one who made all the compromises. I was the one who made the bigger sacrifice. I traveled half-way across the country for a man who will never make my happiness a priority. From the start of our relationship 3 years ago to now, I was the only one who had to make sacrifices just to pacify this giant man-child.
He brought up me finding my own place again and I told him that if I have to move out then I'm returning to Seattle. He didn't fight me on that but the downside is that I have to wait for my parents, who had planned to drive out this way in June from Seattle, to visit friends in Chicago. They've been made aware of the situation and will be driving out in my step-dad's pickup truck to haul back all of my belongings and we would leave together in both my step-dad;s truck and my SUV. I had emailed the hiring manager I had gone through my interview process with, letting her know that I unfortunately will be returning to Seattle due to personal circumstances.
In the meantime I have begun submitting my resume to clinics and hospitals back in Seattle and already have several interviews set up (much faster turn-around than Iowa) and hopefully soon I will have secured a job before my return home.
2024.05.29 05:52 ComprehensiveEnd9988 Himiko Togas New Obsession [Toga listener] [MHA] [obsession] [yandere?] [Quirkless listener] [kissing] [cuddles] [blood sucking] [breaking listener] [wholesome?] [Script offer]
[Walking sounds]
[Pouting] Mmm ... neither izuku nor ochako wanted me….. am I really that creepy like people always told me…. I try so hard, but they're more interested in each other…..
[Notices listener]
Well, who is this adorable cutie we have right here~ Maybe they'd be more interested in a girl like me I can tell just by looking at em~.
[Sneaking footsteps] I should plan carefully and once I can get the chance, I'll kidnap them and make them fall madly in love with me [laughing].
This conveniently placed bat shall do just nicely~ they're such a cutie. I really hope there quirkless it'll make it so much easier to break~.
[sneak up and bonk noise as voice fades out]
You should really watch your blind spot, my new toy~ it'll lead to some bad things [start laughing]
[Some time passes and a voice starts fading in]
There they are~ you have such beautiful eyes~ I'll let you keep them because I'd still like you to see me at least~.
[Listener struggles in the chains they're tied in.]
Oh, no need to panic. I'm not gonna hurt ya~ [Flirty] unless that's EXACTLY the kinda thing you enjoy, then I can hurt you all I want~.
[chains rattle more as listener panic]
[Laughs evilly] Oh calm down, I'm not gonna do anything like that. I just love you too much to ever hurt you like unless needed.
Oh~ seems that got your attention you heard correctly. I love you! Obsessed even! You're the cutest thing I've seen since izuku and ochako but….. they didn't have any interest in me it hurt….. finally realizing the truth.
[Happy] but that's when I saw you. I pledged to myself that nothing was gonna stop me this time from getting the one I love, so I kidnapped you!
I know you're quirkless. I tasted your blood myself. It was so exotic, the blood of a normal human~.
[Getting close to the listener speaking creepily, so are you gonna be my good little pet and love me, or do I need to break your innocent little mind first and make you love me? ~.
[laughing] you're still fighting against me, excellent choice! Breaking you it is! [Laughing more]
[Pull the listener even closer to you and there's a click sound]
There we go a perfect collar for my new pet~.
[Flirty Whispering in listener's ear] I'm gonna make you very obedient by the time I'm finished.
[Bite or lick listener] you taste sooooo amazing, almost better than your blood [Start kissing] just give in to my love, stop resisting.
I can see it on your face you want to admit but won't~ look into my eyes and you'll see how much I love you~.
[Happy] that's it you see it now don't you now let me hear those words~
[annoyed] man…. Why are you so stubborn? Fine, you asked for this but I was playing nice before but now to really break you~.
[Start kissing the listener over and over for as long as you want]
Mmmwah~ so how are you feeling now my pet~ anything you wanna say to me~?
[laughing] Yes yes! It worked. You finally said that you loved me! Plenty of kisses from a cute girl will always be enough to break cuties~.
Now that you see you're obeying me, let's see if it's not just an act. [Unlock the chains]
Good, you didn't try to attack or run from me~ let's get outta here. How about we try going on our first date?
Take my hand! I want people to see we love each other! Maybe we'll even run into izuku and ochako and they'll get jealous seeing us and regret rejecting me!
Oh hun, don't say that, of course. I love you, but making my old crushes jealous will be such a rush! It's not like we'll see them, anyway. Now come I have the perfect place for our date~.
[Walking together]
Hurry along now you're going too slow~ I know you hate being walked on a leash in public but you'll learn to love it just like you learned to love me~.
[yank the collar a bit and speak sternly] I said hurry up….. now we should be pretty close, just right around this corner.
Tada!! What do you think it's the UA training grounds~
Oh, don't look so scared. I choose this place because it will be much more exciting! Will we get caught? Won't we? The rush is exhilarating!
[Walk together in the forest for a while]
This place is actually where I first met izuku and ochako but I'm not gonna bother you with that now come here to me~
[Flirty] I want to see how your kisses feel~ show me how obsessed you are now~ [start making out with listener]
[Speaking between kisses] Mmff… you're amazing. I know you never kissed anyway before~ I'm glad to be your first~
Mmwah~ awww look how red you are~ all that delicious blood all in your face now [lick listener] mmmm~ let me have a taste of it~ pleeeeease~
[Laughing] goooood pet~ let me see your hand~ [lightly cut listener's hand and start sucking on it tasting their blood] hmmmmm~
Oh~ you like it~ seems you're a cute little freak yourself it seem I love it~
[Wrap their hand up] There wrapped up for later~ like fresh meat I mike to put it~
[Sighs a bit] Hey can I ask you something real quick? I know i….. broke or at least tried so admit to me~ how do you really feel?
[Gasp] that's how you really feel! [thrilled and start laughing] I love you. Love You!! I finally have the lover I always needed!
[start kissing them all over their face, claiming how much you love them, then they're interrupted by a noise]
We should go! [Rush out of the forest and sometime you're back home cuddling in bed]
I'm so tired after all that….. if it's ok I won't be around tomorrow. Got some villain stuff to take of tomorrow.
[Kiss and lick their neck a bit] but I promise once in done I'm gonna shower you in as much love as I can~
[End]
submitted by ComprehensiveEnd9988 to AudioCandy [link] [comments]
[Pouting] Mmm ... neither izuku nor ochako wanted me….. am I really that creepy like people always told me…. I try so hard, but they're more interested in each other…..
[Notices listener]
Well, who is this adorable cutie we have right here~ Maybe they'd be more interested in a girl like me I can tell just by looking at em~.
[Sneaking footsteps] I should plan carefully and once I can get the chance, I'll kidnap them and make them fall madly in love with me [laughing].
This conveniently placed bat shall do just nicely~ they're such a cutie. I really hope there quirkless it'll make it so much easier to break~.
[sneak up and bonk noise as voice fades out]
You should really watch your blind spot, my new toy~ it'll lead to some bad things [start laughing]
[Some time passes and a voice starts fading in]
There they are~ you have such beautiful eyes~ I'll let you keep them because I'd still like you to see me at least~.
[Listener struggles in the chains they're tied in.]
Oh, no need to panic. I'm not gonna hurt ya~ [Flirty] unless that's EXACTLY the kinda thing you enjoy, then I can hurt you all I want~.
[chains rattle more as listener panic]
[Laughs evilly] Oh calm down, I'm not gonna do anything like that. I just love you too much to ever hurt you like unless needed.
Oh~ seems that got your attention you heard correctly. I love you! Obsessed even! You're the cutest thing I've seen since izuku and ochako but….. they didn't have any interest in me it hurt….. finally realizing the truth.
[Happy] but that's when I saw you. I pledged to myself that nothing was gonna stop me this time from getting the one I love, so I kidnapped you!
I know you're quirkless. I tasted your blood myself. It was so exotic, the blood of a normal human~.
[Getting close to the listener speaking creepily, so are you gonna be my good little pet and love me, or do I need to break your innocent little mind first and make you love me? ~.
[laughing] you're still fighting against me, excellent choice! Breaking you it is! [Laughing more]
[Pull the listener even closer to you and there's a click sound]
There we go a perfect collar for my new pet~.
[Flirty Whispering in listener's ear] I'm gonna make you very obedient by the time I'm finished.
[Bite or lick listener] you taste sooooo amazing, almost better than your blood [Start kissing] just give in to my love, stop resisting.
I can see it on your face you want to admit but won't~ look into my eyes and you'll see how much I love you~.
[Happy] that's it you see it now don't you now let me hear those words~
[annoyed] man…. Why are you so stubborn? Fine, you asked for this but I was playing nice before but now to really break you~.
[Start kissing the listener over and over for as long as you want]
Mmmwah~ so how are you feeling now my pet~ anything you wanna say to me~?
[laughing] Yes yes! It worked. You finally said that you loved me! Plenty of kisses from a cute girl will always be enough to break cuties~.
Now that you see you're obeying me, let's see if it's not just an act. [Unlock the chains]
Good, you didn't try to attack or run from me~ let's get outta here. How about we try going on our first date?
Take my hand! I want people to see we love each other! Maybe we'll even run into izuku and ochako and they'll get jealous seeing us and regret rejecting me!
Oh hun, don't say that, of course. I love you, but making my old crushes jealous will be such a rush! It's not like we'll see them, anyway. Now come I have the perfect place for our date~.
[Walking together]
Hurry along now you're going too slow~ I know you hate being walked on a leash in public but you'll learn to love it just like you learned to love me~.
[yank the collar a bit and speak sternly] I said hurry up….. now we should be pretty close, just right around this corner.
Tada!! What do you think it's the UA training grounds~
Oh, don't look so scared. I choose this place because it will be much more exciting! Will we get caught? Won't we? The rush is exhilarating!
[Walk together in the forest for a while]
This place is actually where I first met izuku and ochako but I'm not gonna bother you with that now come here to me~
[Flirty] I want to see how your kisses feel~ show me how obsessed you are now~ [start making out with listener]
[Speaking between kisses] Mmff… you're amazing. I know you never kissed anyway before~ I'm glad to be your first~
Mmwah~ awww look how red you are~ all that delicious blood all in your face now [lick listener] mmmm~ let me have a taste of it~ pleeeeease~
[Laughing] goooood pet~ let me see your hand~ [lightly cut listener's hand and start sucking on it tasting their blood] hmmmmm~
Oh~ you like it~ seems you're a cute little freak yourself it seem I love it~
[Wrap their hand up] There wrapped up for later~ like fresh meat I mike to put it~
[Sighs a bit] Hey can I ask you something real quick? I know i….. broke or at least tried so admit to me~ how do you really feel?
[Gasp] that's how you really feel! [thrilled and start laughing] I love you. Love You!! I finally have the lover I always needed!
[start kissing them all over their face, claiming how much you love them, then they're interrupted by a noise]
We should go! [Rush out of the forest and sometime you're back home cuddling in bed]
I'm so tired after all that….. if it's ok I won't be around tomorrow. Got some villain stuff to take of tomorrow.
[Kiss and lick their neck a bit] but I promise once in done I'm gonna shower you in as much love as I can~
[End]
2024.05.29 05:52 ComprehensiveEnd9988 Himiko Togas New Obsession [Toga listener] [MHA] [obsession] [yandere?] [Quirkless listener] [kissing] [cuddles] [blood sucking] [breaking listener] [wholesome?]
[Walking sounds]
[Pouting] Mmm ... neither izuku nor ochako wanted me….. am I really that creepy like people always told me…. I try so hard, but they're more interested in each other…..
[Notices listener]
Well, who is this adorable cutie we have right here~ Maybe they'd be more interested in a girl like me I can tell just by looking at em~.
[Sneaking footsteps] I should plan carefully and once I can get the chance, I'll kidnap them and make them fall madly in love with me [laughing].
This conveniently placed bat shall do just nicely~ they're such a cutie. I really hope there quirkless it'll make it so much easier to break~.
[sneak up and bonk noise as voice fades out]
You should really watch your blind spot, my new toy~ it'll lead to some bad things [start laughing]
[Some time passes and a voice starts fading in]
There they are~ you have such beautiful eyes~ I'll let you keep them because I'd still like you to see me at least~.
[Listener struggles in the chains they're tied in.]
Oh, no need to panic. I'm not gonna hurt ya~ [Flirty] unless that's EXACTLY the kinda thing you enjoy, then I can hurt you all I want~.
[chains rattle more as listener panic]
[Laughs evilly] Oh calm down, I'm not gonna do anything like that. I just love you too much to ever hurt you like unless needed.
Oh~ seems that got your attention you heard correctly. I love you! Obsessed even! You're the cutest thing I've seen since izuku and ochako but….. they didn't have any interest in me it hurt….. finally realizing the truth.
[Happy] but that's when I saw you. I pledged to myself that nothing was gonna stop me this time from getting the one I love, so I kidnapped you!
I know you're quirkless. I tasted your blood myself. It was so exotic, the blood of a normal human~.
[Getting close to the listener speaking creepily, so are you gonna be my good little pet and love me, or do I need to break your innocent little mind first and make you love me? ~.
[laughing] you're still fighting against me, excellent choice! Breaking you it is! [Laughing more]
[Pull the listener even closer to you and there's a click sound]
There we go a perfect collar for my new pet~.
[Flirty Whispering in listener's ear] I'm gonna make you very obedient by the time I'm finished.
[Bite or lick listener] you taste sooooo amazing, almost better than your blood [Start kissing] just give in to my love, stop resisting.
I can see it on your face you want to admit but won't~ look into my eyes and you'll see how much I love you~.
[Happy] that's it you see it now don't you now let me hear those words~
[annoyed] man…. Why are you so stubborn? Fine, you asked for this but I was playing nice before but now to really break you~.
[Start kissing the listener over and over for as long as you want]
Mmmwah~ so how are you feeling now my pet~ anything you wanna say to me~?
[laughing] Yes yes! It worked. You finally said that you loved me! Plenty of kisses from a cute girl will always be enough to break cuties~.
Now that you see you're obeying me, let's see if it's not just an act. [Unlock the chains]
Good, you didn't try to attack or run from me~ let's get outta here. How about we try going on our first date?
Take my hand! I want people to see we love each other! Maybe we'll even run into izuku and ochako and they'll get jealous seeing us and regret rejecting me!
Oh hun, don't say that, of course. I love you, but making my old crushes jealous will be such a rush! It's not like we'll see them, anyway. Now come I have the perfect place for our date~.
[Walking together]
Hurry along now you're going too slow~ I know you hate being walked on a leash in public but you'll learn to love it just like you learned to love me~.
[yank the collar a bit and speak sternly] I said hurry up….. now we should be pretty close, just right around this corner.
Tada!! What do you think it's the UA training grounds~
Oh, don't look so scared. I choose this place because it will be much more exciting! Will we get caught? Won't we? The rush is exhilarating!
[Walk together in the forest for a while]
This place is actually where I first met izuku and ochako but I'm not gonna bother you with that now come here to me~
[Flirty] I want to see how your kisses feel~ show me how obsessed you are now~ [start making out with listener]
[Speaking between kisses] Mmff… you're amazing. I know you never kissed anyway before~ I'm glad to be your first~
Mmwah~ awww look how red you are~ all that delicious blood all in your face now [lick listener] mmmm~ let me have a taste of it~ pleeeeease~
[Laughing] goooood pet~ let me see your hand~ [lightly cut listener's hand and start sucking on it tasting their blood] hmmmmm~
Oh~ you like it~ seems you're a cute little freak yourself it seem I love it~
[Wrap their hand up] There wrapped up for later~ like fresh meat I mike to put it~
[Sighs a bit] Hey can I ask you something real quick? I know i….. broke or at least tried so admit to me~ how do you really feel?
[Gasp] that's how you really feel! [thrilled and start laughing] I love you. Love You!! I finally have the lover I always needed!
[start kissing them all over their face, claiming how much you love them, then they're interrupted by a noise]
We should go! [Rush out of the forest and sometime you're back home cuddling in bed]
I'm so tired after all that….. if it's ok I won't be around tomorrow. Got some villain stuff to take of tomorrow.
[Kiss and lick their neck a bit] but I promise once in done I'm gonna shower you in as much love as I can~
[End]
submitted by ComprehensiveEnd9988 to ASMRScriptHaven [link] [comments]
[Pouting] Mmm ... neither izuku nor ochako wanted me….. am I really that creepy like people always told me…. I try so hard, but they're more interested in each other…..
[Notices listener]
Well, who is this adorable cutie we have right here~ Maybe they'd be more interested in a girl like me I can tell just by looking at em~.
[Sneaking footsteps] I should plan carefully and once I can get the chance, I'll kidnap them and make them fall madly in love with me [laughing].
This conveniently placed bat shall do just nicely~ they're such a cutie. I really hope there quirkless it'll make it so much easier to break~.
[sneak up and bonk noise as voice fades out]
You should really watch your blind spot, my new toy~ it'll lead to some bad things [start laughing]
[Some time passes and a voice starts fading in]
There they are~ you have such beautiful eyes~ I'll let you keep them because I'd still like you to see me at least~.
[Listener struggles in the chains they're tied in.]
Oh, no need to panic. I'm not gonna hurt ya~ [Flirty] unless that's EXACTLY the kinda thing you enjoy, then I can hurt you all I want~.
[chains rattle more as listener panic]
[Laughs evilly] Oh calm down, I'm not gonna do anything like that. I just love you too much to ever hurt you like unless needed.
Oh~ seems that got your attention you heard correctly. I love you! Obsessed even! You're the cutest thing I've seen since izuku and ochako but….. they didn't have any interest in me it hurt….. finally realizing the truth.
[Happy] but that's when I saw you. I pledged to myself that nothing was gonna stop me this time from getting the one I love, so I kidnapped you!
I know you're quirkless. I tasted your blood myself. It was so exotic, the blood of a normal human~.
[Getting close to the listener speaking creepily, so are you gonna be my good little pet and love me, or do I need to break your innocent little mind first and make you love me? ~.
[laughing] you're still fighting against me, excellent choice! Breaking you it is! [Laughing more]
[Pull the listener even closer to you and there's a click sound]
There we go a perfect collar for my new pet~.
[Flirty Whispering in listener's ear] I'm gonna make you very obedient by the time I'm finished.
[Bite or lick listener] you taste sooooo amazing, almost better than your blood [Start kissing] just give in to my love, stop resisting.
I can see it on your face you want to admit but won't~ look into my eyes and you'll see how much I love you~.
[Happy] that's it you see it now don't you now let me hear those words~
[annoyed] man…. Why are you so stubborn? Fine, you asked for this but I was playing nice before but now to really break you~.
[Start kissing the listener over and over for as long as you want]
Mmmwah~ so how are you feeling now my pet~ anything you wanna say to me~?
[laughing] Yes yes! It worked. You finally said that you loved me! Plenty of kisses from a cute girl will always be enough to break cuties~.
Now that you see you're obeying me, let's see if it's not just an act. [Unlock the chains]
Good, you didn't try to attack or run from me~ let's get outta here. How about we try going on our first date?
Take my hand! I want people to see we love each other! Maybe we'll even run into izuku and ochako and they'll get jealous seeing us and regret rejecting me!
Oh hun, don't say that, of course. I love you, but making my old crushes jealous will be such a rush! It's not like we'll see them, anyway. Now come I have the perfect place for our date~.
[Walking together]
Hurry along now you're going too slow~ I know you hate being walked on a leash in public but you'll learn to love it just like you learned to love me~.
[yank the collar a bit and speak sternly] I said hurry up….. now we should be pretty close, just right around this corner.
Tada!! What do you think it's the UA training grounds~
Oh, don't look so scared. I choose this place because it will be much more exciting! Will we get caught? Won't we? The rush is exhilarating!
[Walk together in the forest for a while]
This place is actually where I first met izuku and ochako but I'm not gonna bother you with that now come here to me~
[Flirty] I want to see how your kisses feel~ show me how obsessed you are now~ [start making out with listener]
[Speaking between kisses] Mmff… you're amazing. I know you never kissed anyway before~ I'm glad to be your first~
Mmwah~ awww look how red you are~ all that delicious blood all in your face now [lick listener] mmmm~ let me have a taste of it~ pleeeeease~
[Laughing] goooood pet~ let me see your hand~ [lightly cut listener's hand and start sucking on it tasting their blood] hmmmmm~
Oh~ you like it~ seems you're a cute little freak yourself it seem I love it~
[Wrap their hand up] There wrapped up for later~ like fresh meat I mike to put it~
[Sighs a bit] Hey can I ask you something real quick? I know i….. broke or at least tried so admit to me~ how do you really feel?
[Gasp] that's how you really feel! [thrilled and start laughing] I love you. Love You!! I finally have the lover I always needed!
[start kissing them all over their face, claiming how much you love them, then they're interrupted by a noise]
We should go! [Rush out of the forest and sometime you're back home cuddling in bed]
I'm so tired after all that….. if it's ok I won't be around tomorrow. Got some villain stuff to take of tomorrow.
[Kiss and lick their neck a bit] but I promise once in done I'm gonna shower you in as much love as I can~
[End]
2024.05.29 05:51 ElectroMenZ I just beat my first full Kaizo ROM hack (SM74 Ten Years After v3.74) + my review
 | Ok, so on May 26th 2024, I got all the stars after 31 hours + 3 more I had on another save file, and let me tell you what, it was quite a rollercoaster of an adventure, so here I'll just review my overall experience of it submitted by ElectroMenZ to sm64hacks [link] [comments] C1 Dice Domain: (9/10) It was a nice beginning course that felt welcoming for people who are just getting started on easier Kaizo hacks, like sure, it feels a bit different from the original source material, and that can be great, as it gives a player something kinda new, so overall, it's a solid level without it being intimidating, and it's just a nice little warmup for me, someone who's trying Kaizos for the first time C2 Concrete Jungle: (8.5/10) This is also a pretty solid course, and although, the red coin star was replaced in this version, it was still a solid experience without them, and the stars still felt like a nice little warmup. Also, there was that one heave-ho trick I had to know about, so yeah, I didn't know at the time, and instead went the long way on top to slide and jumped to the star, which involved me finding a bug where I get soft locked on the slope, but again, still quite a solid level with interesting design choices C3 Wallowing Wells: (8/10) This is a great mashup of C3 from SM74 and EE, and even though I'm not the biggest fan of water levels, you actually have faster swimming, and it's way better than what I tried in EE, I mean, I had a good time getting the stars and the 100 coins even, then you have the waterless mode star which is a good test of your platforming skills, and even though a fell down a few times, it's actually not near as bad as what you had to do in EE, and it was quite enjoyable, so still a nice mashup that doesn't feel like a difficulty spike out of nowhere, but still slightly trickier than the first two courses Underground Slide: (7.5/10) Now, here's the first little difficulty spike in the hack, so this one had me dying a bit on the slide's reds, and yeah I died at the end to that stupid pillar. Also, to get that first star in the metal cap switch, I decided to take the long route instead of doing the skip, I dunno why, but anyway, near the end of that section kinda felt like a chokepoint, but I mean, it's not bad, and I liked how they replaced the Mario Party minigame music with the underground theme from Yoshi's Island, which is quite fitting with the redesign, so overall, even if it's a bit of a difficulty spike early in the game, I still did like my experience with it quite a bit, and I like the new aesthetic of it B1 Bowser's Park Party: (9/10) I actually like what they did with this version, they made it feel a bit different by making it like an island in the sky, and the stars were just pretty fun overall, like the one metal cap star was an interesting because of the way you go inside the building to get it, and the key section felt free because of the metal cap safety net, but there was that one part where you had to do oddly precise lava bounces, I don't know why LinCrash made it that way, but I'm not gonna question it, and it was an enjoyable experience all the way through C4 Bogey Bayou: (8/10) I thought this course was pretty fun, but there was that one pit with Bubbas with the red coins that were a bit risky to get due to the relentless nature of them, however, the rest of this course had some solid stars in it, like there was one star where you have the entrance to a secret lava section, and due to the Parallel Lakitu cam, you didn't have to do blind guesswork, so that's nice, but yeah, the actual secret entrance star was just free, nothing else to say about that one, but even though the 100 coins took me longer than it should've, I actually had quite a fun time platforming on rooftops over some deadly quicksand sludge C5 Flamework Factory: (8.5/10) An interesting course with tunnels that leads you to other stars and parts of the level, and honestly, I liked how it felt sort of like nice little puzzle with a couple of stars requiring certain caps to traverse to the other section, and in the current version, the tunnels just warp you to that certain room, I don't really mind the change that much because it doesn't really decrease the difficulty that much, so overall, another solid experience when I knew the places I needed to go for certain stars. MC Aerial Alpine: (9/10) I love what they did with the metal cap stage from the original EE, they turned it into a snow level, and now it's a lot more enjoyable, and even though this current version replaced the red coin star, it was still a nice chill stage, no pun intended, and the stars felt like nice little warmup sections that I had a pretty good time with, even though they replaced the metal cap section with a shell riding one, so that actually felt a bit more fun to do, since I'm actually good with the shell VC Dusty Darkness: (6.5/10) Now, this is the first level that started giving me a bit of problems, like there's this one star where I had to jump down to a walljumping section, and I actually had to turn up the brightness on my monitor to see where I was, and even then, I kept on getting caught on the one wall because the collision is weird, and I missed my jump quite a bit because of it, but once I learned to stop touching the wall, it wasn't as bad, and there was one more star that gave me slight problems, but that one at least didn't have bad collision, and the other stars were actually quite decent, so yeah, definitely not a great level at all, but not that bad WC Lava Pit of Inversion: (7.5/10) Yeah, it's just a chill wing cap course that doesn't feel special at all, it was just like the original, except flipped upside down, I mean, the stars were satisfying to get, however, could've done something more creative with it, but I mean, it still is quite a decent experience C6 Stalactite Cave: (8/10) This is yet another water stage, and again, I'm not the biggest fan of them, but this one actually was kinda interesting, even though this course got the Drowned Factory treatment. This course seemed quite solid with this one platforming section above water that is slightly tricky, but quite fun to do, and I liked that one part where you had to get a Chuckya from the cage below and clip behind a wall to get that one star, so yeah, nice rendition of course 6 that had completely different stars, and it was not bad to navigate at all C7 Crumble Rumble Tower: (8/10) I really do like the aesthetic of this course, and I enjoyed the climb to the top with the 5 secrets, it's actually kinda fun doing those ledgegrabs near the top, even when there were those clouds that blew you off the course, and the 100 coins were fun to get, except there was that one sketchy red coin you had to get a walljump off of, but it was still a bit of fun nonetheless, and the King Whomp bossfight is actually not bad, even though it was sand, but you actually had more of a platform to work with, so yeah, overall, solid course with only a couple parts that made me go "meh" C8 Absolute Zeroasis: (6.5/10) Yeah, this is a course I didn't enjoy as much due to that red coins maze with freezing water, and the camera not being the greatest, along with that one spiral pyramid star that was quite a bit annoying to get, but if you set aside that, the 100 coins and other stars are actually decent, so overall, it's not that bad, but yeah, wasn't really a fan of a couple stars C9 Nature Nocturne: (8/10) This is actually a solid rendition of Course 9, I liked the music in it, it was a nice vibe from Yoshi's Story, and I liked the red coins in it, there was some enjoyable platforming on top of wood planks, and it's interesting going under the flower field to get this one secret, even though you had to go back to get the star, but I really like the idea of it, and yeah, the star under the bridge I could've gotten by using the switch, but I did it the hard way, which took me dozens of tries, but overall, what a solid remake B2 Bowser's Tidal Tropics: (6.5/10) So yeah, this is the first level that actually made me rage a bit, but before I get into that, I will say that I love the Koopa Troopa Beach music in this course, it really compliments the theme of it, and 4 of the stars in there were just kind of a nice experience, but that one star where you had to do the firsties at the right angle, even though, thankfully it's not quicksand this time, it's water, it still proved to be quite a bit annoying, but it was satisfying once I pulled it off, and now, the key part was what really started getting to me because at the beginning, I felt like I had to do the one firstie so that I can have just the right height land on the platform without getting grabbed by the Chuckya, and that gets annoying because every time a failed on those angled timed boxes, I have to start front the beginning, but I realized, I did that part the hard way, so my experience with this could've went a lot smoother, if it weren't for that, but still, not the greatest experience due to it deriving from the EE version of this stage, however, the stars before the key section were overall not bad, and again, that key section made me quite a bit angry, but the rest of it was actually not bad, it was just a matter of getting past those couple things I mentioned earlier C10 Quicksand Beach: (9/10) After the last stage, this one was actually quite chill, the stars were actually quite enjoyable to get, like the red coins were fun to shell jump up to get in the middle of the quicksand, and thank God LinCrash decided to have 100 coins nerfed because in the older versions of SM74, you had to get all the blue coins like near frame perfect, and you had to slowly push all the bullies into that one tiny lava pit, but this version, really made it chill, and at first, I thought the stars you had to get by going into the quicksand tunnel we're gonna be a pain, but actually, the Parallel Lakitu cam worked out in my favor, and I actually enjoyed going down there, so this yet is another nice and solid experience C11 Polluted Pond: (7/10) So, it's the level with one of the stars I dreaded, the star where you have to do walljump crossovers over a platform with quicksand, but I really surprised myself here, as it only took me a few tries, and I actually never died to the quicksand itself, I just failed at the last crossover a few times, so this might've been just a fluke, but yeah, while the rest of the level wasn't the greatest due to having to climb back up out of the toxic sand below, and it took me so long to find the last red coin for some reason, although, it still has quite a bit of fun platforming here and there, but on that one hideout star where you kinda have tight window for those timed boxes, it was mildly annoying when I hit that arrow leading me to it, however, after that is not that bad, just one sketchy jump, so overall, not really a great course, but the platforming was a bit of fun to do C12 Cliff of Time: (8/10) Now this is an interesting one because this is like the first time that we see two versions of a course that you get to switch between depending on the star, and I mean, I enjoyed getting these stars, they were quite a bit unique from each other, and yeah, the red coins weren't really as bad as I thought, it was just that one sketchy walljump ledgegrab I had to do to get to the rest of the course, and every time you started the harder version of this course, you had to do a firstie to even start it, which is not that annoying at all, and just meh, but the same went for some of the red coins, however, you did have quite a bit of room for error before the timer ran out, so this course overall has cool concepts, and it felt quite fair C13 Sea Salt Peaks: (5/10) Now, most of this course felt a bit free, and Koopa the Quick is still slow, this was just a fine level, but oh my God, the Hot Arch Crossing star really brings down the experience because it was so annoying with those firespitters while having to do more precise walljump crossovers three times in a row, and one where you have to do kind of a precise triple jump to get to the last crossover, like that star genuinely made me just rage, and I never wanna touch it again, although the 100 coins were quite a bit scarce C14 Veninium Sphere: (8.5/10) Now this course was quite fun, and I actually like how LinCrash designed the course to have more gaps in it to make up for the nerfs he did, so it still didn't feel too easy for what it was, and the climb was quite satisfying, but the one small flaw I had was with the first star Tower of the South, and that is when I just got through the hall of angled walljumps, I would sometimes miss the star because I couldn't exactly tell where it is in that hole in the ceiling, but I mean, I feel like that one was just on me, although, the rest of the level was very good, and the red coins didn't feel daunting at all to get, so overall, it was quite an enjoyable experience C15 Delombru Sphere: (8.5/10) Same as the last course, the climb was quite satisfying to do, but this course felt a bit more convoluted to me because there was that one sideways tower that I didn't know I could reach with a triple jump until I tried it, and there was that one Dungeon Dominance star where I didn't think that precise walljump ledgegrab was intended, yet it was, but it wasn't actually that bad, and thank God that one crazy Tower of the North star was changed into an amp obstacle course because in the old versions, you had to do really precise walljumps consistently without ledgegrabbing, and the 100 coins and 8 reds were actually pretty satisfying to get on only like what, my 4th attempt? I mean, you got those two sketchy red coins at the beginning, but after that, it was nice and smooth sailing because I just crushed it, I genuinely thought I was gonna fumble more on that, but glad I didn't, however, the Morbid Deadly Puzzle star was still pretty tough because it's like closer to EE difficulty than any other star here, and I will not forgive that one Snifit that killed me one time when I was getting far into that star, but it was quite satisfying once I finally got the star at the end, so overall, a well designed course with a challenge that will prove to be pretty difficult, but comes with a satisfying reward at the end Void of the East: (8/10) Now this was quite a tough and challenging star, and that one angled walljump off the pillar and tower right next to it is kinda what made the challenge even moreso, but good thing you can come up with a good routing method for this star to not feel like as much of a drag, so for me, the metal cap lava bounce secret was the easiest, so I did that last, and yeah, to get off that one rooftop, it sucked when I just couldn't make the jump with the wrong angle, but as I did the right angle, it wasn't as bad, and the rest of the course is actually fun, so once it got consistent, it was quite enjoyable, and I was thoroughly satisfied after getting that star B3 Bowser's Rainbow Realm: (6/10) Yeah, I didn't enjoy opening the cannon in this stage that much at all, I just hated having to do those angled wall kicks over the first lava section at every attempt I had at opening the cannon, but good thing that you didn't have to do three of those in a row, just one of them, and the amp section was just a bit annoying because I had to be careful with my jumps, while having to deal with the possibility of the firespitter getting me, as for the second lava section that first jump was quite sketchy to make, but right after that, the section was definitely better than the first one. There was also that Heave-ho on the third section that killed me at least a couple times, and it felt like a slap to the face when that happened to me, but when I opened the cannon, I felt quite a bit relieved, and the other stars were actually a bit enjoyable, despite me wanting to get to Grandmaster's Goal that final day, like the secrets had some decent platforming, but it was just a slight flaw that I couldn't properly see that one opening to getting that 5 secrets star, however, I got the right angle at some point, and now the 8 red coins were actually quite decent, it felt like a good break, but there were a couple red coins that seemed slightly sketchy, but we're not bad at all, however, I will say, wasn't really the biggest fan of getting on those steep slopes, as they felt fast, and I had to make sure my angle to get on them was good or else I'd fall down due to no ledgegrabs, but it was alright, and yeah, I accidentally got that one caged Banjo Tooie cartridge star while getting the red coins, but after that, there was one more kind of annoying star I had to get with that risky platforming on the walls of the amp section, and the final fight was just Bowser, but the bombs were oddly closer than the original, don't know why LinCrash made them like that, but whatever, it's fine, so overall, yeah, this stage can get quite frustrating when you are trying to open the cannon, but after that, it's not bad at all, it actually got quite a bit fun, although, the music felt a bit repetitive NGL Grandmaster's Goal: (8/10) This was a pretty good gauntlet at the end, but oh my God it's quite nerve-wracking I got closer to the end, and when I died a couple times at those cones in the Cliff of Wrath part, it was a bit disappointing, but as I noticed that I was getting more consistent with the other parts, the confidence built within me, and in this current version, they added a heart at the walljump crossover section, and oh man, I really needed it, even though it nerfs the endurance test a bit, I still appreciated it, and yeah, the metal cap section was still a chokepoint because of that one walljump ledgegrab, and at the beginning of me doing this gauntlet, I kept dying at the Stalagmite Cave slide part, even though I shouldn't have because it's easy when I got the angle right, but yeah, overall, this gauntlet was pretty well put together, but yeah, there are a couple parts that are easily chokeable and can be roadblocks to your success. Oh and one thing I forgot, the other two Grandmaster's Goal stars, they were a bit easy to get, like you could just do a skip to save time for the "speedrun" star, and there was that one hidden star that was fairly easy to find, so those two stars were essentially before the real deal, and they were kinda cool to get In conclusion, my first Kaizo experience definitely had times where I got quite a bit frustrated, but in the end, I'm glad I beat this as my hardest ROM hack, and the experience was definitely worthwhile, so I decided to post this review here to share my experience |
2024.05.29 05:38 Responsible_Block258 Skibidi Toilet Forever chapter III: The Higher Ups
Back at our temporary HQ just outside the lab, the Detective couldn’t keep his mouth shut about how our recovery of the tendril and the spearhead changes everything. He mostly repeated things he’d told the squad during the mission, but the long and short of it goes as follows: A third party is supplying weapons to all sides, and while he wrote off the Astro Toilets as a minor sub-faction before, our encounter with one in the lab changed his mind, and now he considers them the primary suspect. He contacted me, L-650, and 3812 to vouch for him, as he was about to present his theory to the Higher Ups to get their permission to launch an investigatory incursion to discover the Astro’s base and stake it out to find out if they were really the suppliers, which he was confident of.
3812 couldn’t be reached, presumed AWOL, so it was just me, the Detective, and L-650. We had to take a flight back to the main HQ over in New York, and when we entered the meeting hall, we were met with their gazes: Cameraman-1, Speakerman-1, and TV Man-1 were all seated, having awaited our arrival. We each took a seat. They looked us up and down, their scanning of us slow and deliberate, as if they were looking over every minute flaw. Maybe the Detective’s hat was askew, or my tie was stained. Finally, Cameraman-1 raised his hand, signaling that we could begin speaking. The Detective stood up.
“As you know, two pieces of technology with no direct origin were found in Alpha Hills Labs, and I believe the Astro Toilets are a prime candidate. I humbly request that you allow me to launch an investigation into locating their base of operations and uncovering more evidence.” He sat down as he concluded.
TV Man-1 nodded and locked his fingers, resting his head on the backs of them, “And why should we support an operation at this stage of the war? We are at the cusp of victory; Saharan Africa and the whole of North America as well as the Middle East and most of Europe have been liberated, and the Toilet capital has fallen. It would be pointless.”
I stood up, “I apologize about interrupt-”
“Silence!” TV Man-1 shouted, stopping me. Speakerman-1 waved his finger at him, “No no no no no no no no, we don’t do that. These folks came for a meeting, let’s have a meeting. No yelling or being a douche canoe, please.”
TV Man-1 displayed a neutral/agitated emoticon on his screen and acquiesced before looking back at me, “Continue.”
“Thank you,” I nodded at Speakerman-1 before continuing, “We experienced the threat Astro Toilets present first hand. Only Speakerman-L-650 here was able to even harm the thing, minus its eyes, but even then, it seemed only slightly bothered by pain. These things aren’t regular Toilets; you saw what the Juggernaut did to G-Toilet. We need to treat them like a separate threat.”
L-650 raised his hand, “It’s true. When the Skibidi Toilets fall, the Astro Toilets will only rejoice. Then, they will strike once we’ve thought we won. It’s what Glitch did.”
Cameraman-1 tilted his head, “Are you saying that one was an Astro Toilet? It didn’t have red eyes.”
“But the Scientist’s mech did!” The Detective interjected, “Red eyes mean nothing; get that delusion out of ye heads. What matters is the level of technological discrepancies that only cease to be as such when we assume that Glitch was an Astro.” He said before finally sitting down. I sat down as well.”
Speakerman-1 clapped his hands, “I don’t see how this could be a bad idea. I don’t know about these two, but I vote in favor of the operation.”
Cameraman-1 didn’t say add anything, rather giving a simple thumbs up. TV Man-1 furrowed his brow and crossed his arms, the vote having weighed in our favor. “You can have it your way, but I still warn you that this will be a waste of valuable resources.”
“Cameraman-38,” Cameraman-1 said, referring to the Detective, “You will be escorted to wherever you believe the Astro Toilet base is by Polycephaly. He will ensure you are unharmed. Don’t fret, we’re scaling back the liberation of Moscow, so he won’t be needed during it. Cameraman-4474 and Speakerman-L-650, you will be relocated to participate in the battle. Dismissed.”
“Dismissed.” Speakerman-1 continued.
“Dismissed.” TV Man-1 finished.
We thanked them and left, making our way back to our Cameracoptor and hopping aboard with our escorts while L-650 climbed into his own. The blades spun up, and we were soon off. We did what we came here to do, and I was already mentally preparing myself for the upcoming battle. I am a machine; I was built for fighting. I may not survive, but it won’t mean anything. I will have fulfilled my role in this war, even if I don’t get to see our victory. That was what I kept telling myself. That was until, suddenly, all of us got a looping message on our tablets. We pulled them out…
…And saw an agent with a pair of binoculars for a head.
Chapter IV coming tomorrow!
submitted by Responsible_Block258 to skibiditoilet [link] [comments]
3812 couldn’t be reached, presumed AWOL, so it was just me, the Detective, and L-650. We had to take a flight back to the main HQ over in New York, and when we entered the meeting hall, we were met with their gazes: Cameraman-1, Speakerman-1, and TV Man-1 were all seated, having awaited our arrival. We each took a seat. They looked us up and down, their scanning of us slow and deliberate, as if they were looking over every minute flaw. Maybe the Detective’s hat was askew, or my tie was stained. Finally, Cameraman-1 raised his hand, signaling that we could begin speaking. The Detective stood up.
“As you know, two pieces of technology with no direct origin were found in Alpha Hills Labs, and I believe the Astro Toilets are a prime candidate. I humbly request that you allow me to launch an investigation into locating their base of operations and uncovering more evidence.” He sat down as he concluded.
TV Man-1 nodded and locked his fingers, resting his head on the backs of them, “And why should we support an operation at this stage of the war? We are at the cusp of victory; Saharan Africa and the whole of North America as well as the Middle East and most of Europe have been liberated, and the Toilet capital has fallen. It would be pointless.”
I stood up, “I apologize about interrupt-”
“Silence!” TV Man-1 shouted, stopping me. Speakerman-1 waved his finger at him, “No no no no no no no no, we don’t do that. These folks came for a meeting, let’s have a meeting. No yelling or being a douche canoe, please.”
TV Man-1 displayed a neutral/agitated emoticon on his screen and acquiesced before looking back at me, “Continue.”
“Thank you,” I nodded at Speakerman-1 before continuing, “We experienced the threat Astro Toilets present first hand. Only Speakerman-L-650 here was able to even harm the thing, minus its eyes, but even then, it seemed only slightly bothered by pain. These things aren’t regular Toilets; you saw what the Juggernaut did to G-Toilet. We need to treat them like a separate threat.”
L-650 raised his hand, “It’s true. When the Skibidi Toilets fall, the Astro Toilets will only rejoice. Then, they will strike once we’ve thought we won. It’s what Glitch did.”
Cameraman-1 tilted his head, “Are you saying that one was an Astro Toilet? It didn’t have red eyes.”
“But the Scientist’s mech did!” The Detective interjected, “Red eyes mean nothing; get that delusion out of ye heads. What matters is the level of technological discrepancies that only cease to be as such when we assume that Glitch was an Astro.” He said before finally sitting down. I sat down as well.”
Speakerman-1 clapped his hands, “I don’t see how this could be a bad idea. I don’t know about these two, but I vote in favor of the operation.”
Cameraman-1 didn’t say add anything, rather giving a simple thumbs up. TV Man-1 furrowed his brow and crossed his arms, the vote having weighed in our favor. “You can have it your way, but I still warn you that this will be a waste of valuable resources.”
“Cameraman-38,” Cameraman-1 said, referring to the Detective, “You will be escorted to wherever you believe the Astro Toilet base is by Polycephaly. He will ensure you are unharmed. Don’t fret, we’re scaling back the liberation of Moscow, so he won’t be needed during it. Cameraman-4474 and Speakerman-L-650, you will be relocated to participate in the battle. Dismissed.”
“Dismissed.” Speakerman-1 continued.
“Dismissed.” TV Man-1 finished.
We thanked them and left, making our way back to our Cameracoptor and hopping aboard with our escorts while L-650 climbed into his own. The blades spun up, and we were soon off. We did what we came here to do, and I was already mentally preparing myself for the upcoming battle. I am a machine; I was built for fighting. I may not survive, but it won’t mean anything. I will have fulfilled my role in this war, even if I don’t get to see our victory. That was what I kept telling myself. That was until, suddenly, all of us got a looping message on our tablets. We pulled them out…
…And saw an agent with a pair of binoculars for a head.
Chapter IV coming tomorrow!
2024.05.29 05:35 Professional-Sky-821 So... I (18M) kind of disobeyed one of the two rules set by my now ex-girlfriend (18F) and me before our temporary relationship began. TLDR: I fell in love with my gf despite being told not to at the start of our relationship. What should I do?
I'll start this story off by saying that I may not have known this person for very long on a deep and emotional level for very long, and she didn't reveal herself to me very much until we began to at least try and function like friends, but when she did I couldn't quite get enough of it. The story starts a little ways back when I was trying to get over my feelings for my first girlfriend (it happened unrelated to the following events) and my now ex-girlfriend (let's call her Becky) was trying to get one of our peers to leave her alone because we thought he was a little creepy.
At this time, Becky and I are completely unable to stand being around each other for longer than thirty seconds. We fight like siblings. The best and only possible solution is to begin fake dating. Yay, we're a romcom minus the "rom" part (I can't help but laugh as I remember this). Whenever we were talking about the terms of the fake dating act we discussed how we would play along and did all sorts of things to make the act seem real even at close inspection. I made it completely clear to her at the beginning of our "relationship" that there was a 90% chance that I caught legitimate feelings, and I fought those off for a while because I remembered the mission of the fake relationship was to make first girlfriend jealous.
Well, even a friendship with the first girlfriend wasn't possible after I got upset one night about her new boyfriend and said some things that I shouldn't have. This isn't an AITA post though, so big skip. When I was dealing with the fallout of having lost friends and feeling angsty and frustrated Becky was the for me for some reason, even though we still fought with each other when nobody was looking and gagged at the idea of touching one another, even worse, acting like we were in love. I had told her the entire story of what had happened and she still thought I was a safe person to be in proximity to. She was also very gentle with me after that.
Some things happened and I slowly started to realize I wanted to know Becky far more than I did before. She was gentle with me and knew what to say and how to say it while making sure my head was secured to my shoulders. I did it. I formed legitimate feelings. I called Becky a few nights later to tell her how I was feeling. I wasn't really expecting her to want to go on a date with me, I just really wanted her to be aware of my thoughts and feelings, for my worst fear was turning into the peer that she was trying to avoid, but I would be worse because I could act on the romantic feelings within reason.
She told me she needed to have a little time to think about things and talk to her friends about how she was feeling. A couple of hours later she texted me and said that she would do the real relationship on the condition that we end the relationship when she moves away at the end of the semester. That was really what I was thinking before since I had just gotten out of a really stressful and controlling relationship a couple of months prior (life is crazy). The second rule would be that we would not fall in love. The relationship is temporary and it will stay that way. The deal was struck. Let the dating begin.
I just want to say that the three or so months spent with Becky were some of the most special moments of my entire life so far (yes I know I'm 18 and have plenty more of those chances). Two moments spent with her occupy the top two of the top three spots of the most romantic moments I've ever taken part in. 1. Looking up at the stars in the middle of an empty field on the hood of my dinky little sedan and 2. joy riding my father's mid-life crisis car (a manual with no electronic assists, so it's like fighting for your life the whole time.) Plus all the little moments that we spent together in between the giant ones.
Something that needs to be understood about Becky is that she does not ever show her emotions. If she were at a card table in Vegas I would have no doubt that she would walk out of that gambling hall ready to retire comfortably. It made me incredibly interested in her even more. Especially when she let me see her thoughts and feelings. I became fascinated by any little emotion I could find, any bit of need, curiosity, joy, hurt, jealousy, terror, care, sadness, love. And I found it quite a bit (my eyes are welling up currently). She seemed quite happy with me because I could always get her to reveal herself to me.
I would like to add that this entire time I was so terrified of disrespecting or making this woman uncomfortable at all to the point where I apologized excessively if I misread signals. I almost always asked permission to touch her. And never once in our relationship did I find the guts to kiss her.
The time of Becky's move was quickly approaching. She was to go to her new town on vacation for a week to look for homes and cover other bases before she could leave for good. The day before she left she asked if we could talk. I knew as soon as she said it that it was to be a breakup. we met up at a restaurant and ate our meals before she got to business. Even though she wouldn't be moving for another few weeks after returning (she still hasn't) that it would be best to end the relationship now. She explained why, but I can't remember because I was so focused on how her voice broke when she was saying her opening line. I responded with a brisk "okay" and we fist-bumped to seal the deal. I began laughing hysterically because I was going to cry since only a pretty awesome girl ends a relationship with a fist bump (it wasn't awkward or anything and that may just be my personal opinion).
This past week I've been pretty upset about the fact that it's over. I even cried when I made the joke to myself, "Since our relationship is over do we go back to hating each other?" That's when I realized that I couldn't stand the idea of hating her again and that I in fact fell in love with her despite being told not to.
I told my best friend about how I was feeling tonight and about how I had fallen in love with Becky despite that being one of two rules set at the beginning of our relationship. How do you break a rule when there are only two that you could possibly break?! I also asked my friend tonight if I should tell Becky I love her. His answer was a very short and simple "no". I'm here mostly to use Reddit as my therapist and maybe here the opinions of internet strangers on what I should do.
How do you suggest I take action here? What are some of the solutions for a long-distance relationship from 1,200 miles away? How can I move on from these thoughts and feelings if I should just let good things go (that made me cry a little)? How do you think that she would react?
submitted by Professional-Sky-821 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
At this time, Becky and I are completely unable to stand being around each other for longer than thirty seconds. We fight like siblings. The best and only possible solution is to begin fake dating. Yay, we're a romcom minus the "rom" part (I can't help but laugh as I remember this). Whenever we were talking about the terms of the fake dating act we discussed how we would play along and did all sorts of things to make the act seem real even at close inspection. I made it completely clear to her at the beginning of our "relationship" that there was a 90% chance that I caught legitimate feelings, and I fought those off for a while because I remembered the mission of the fake relationship was to make first girlfriend jealous.
Well, even a friendship with the first girlfriend wasn't possible after I got upset one night about her new boyfriend and said some things that I shouldn't have. This isn't an AITA post though, so big skip. When I was dealing with the fallout of having lost friends and feeling angsty and frustrated Becky was the for me for some reason, even though we still fought with each other when nobody was looking and gagged at the idea of touching one another, even worse, acting like we were in love. I had told her the entire story of what had happened and she still thought I was a safe person to be in proximity to. She was also very gentle with me after that.
Some things happened and I slowly started to realize I wanted to know Becky far more than I did before. She was gentle with me and knew what to say and how to say it while making sure my head was secured to my shoulders. I did it. I formed legitimate feelings. I called Becky a few nights later to tell her how I was feeling. I wasn't really expecting her to want to go on a date with me, I just really wanted her to be aware of my thoughts and feelings, for my worst fear was turning into the peer that she was trying to avoid, but I would be worse because I could act on the romantic feelings within reason.
She told me she needed to have a little time to think about things and talk to her friends about how she was feeling. A couple of hours later she texted me and said that she would do the real relationship on the condition that we end the relationship when she moves away at the end of the semester. That was really what I was thinking before since I had just gotten out of a really stressful and controlling relationship a couple of months prior (life is crazy). The second rule would be that we would not fall in love. The relationship is temporary and it will stay that way. The deal was struck. Let the dating begin.
I just want to say that the three or so months spent with Becky were some of the most special moments of my entire life so far (yes I know I'm 18 and have plenty more of those chances). Two moments spent with her occupy the top two of the top three spots of the most romantic moments I've ever taken part in. 1. Looking up at the stars in the middle of an empty field on the hood of my dinky little sedan and 2. joy riding my father's mid-life crisis car (a manual with no electronic assists, so it's like fighting for your life the whole time.) Plus all the little moments that we spent together in between the giant ones.
Something that needs to be understood about Becky is that she does not ever show her emotions. If she were at a card table in Vegas I would have no doubt that she would walk out of that gambling hall ready to retire comfortably. It made me incredibly interested in her even more. Especially when she let me see her thoughts and feelings. I became fascinated by any little emotion I could find, any bit of need, curiosity, joy, hurt, jealousy, terror, care, sadness, love. And I found it quite a bit (my eyes are welling up currently). She seemed quite happy with me because I could always get her to reveal herself to me.
I would like to add that this entire time I was so terrified of disrespecting or making this woman uncomfortable at all to the point where I apologized excessively if I misread signals. I almost always asked permission to touch her. And never once in our relationship did I find the guts to kiss her.
The time of Becky's move was quickly approaching. She was to go to her new town on vacation for a week to look for homes and cover other bases before she could leave for good. The day before she left she asked if we could talk. I knew as soon as she said it that it was to be a breakup. we met up at a restaurant and ate our meals before she got to business. Even though she wouldn't be moving for another few weeks after returning (she still hasn't) that it would be best to end the relationship now. She explained why, but I can't remember because I was so focused on how her voice broke when she was saying her opening line. I responded with a brisk "okay" and we fist-bumped to seal the deal. I began laughing hysterically because I was going to cry since only a pretty awesome girl ends a relationship with a fist bump (it wasn't awkward or anything and that may just be my personal opinion).
This past week I've been pretty upset about the fact that it's over. I even cried when I made the joke to myself, "Since our relationship is over do we go back to hating each other?" That's when I realized that I couldn't stand the idea of hating her again and that I in fact fell in love with her despite being told not to.
I told my best friend about how I was feeling tonight and about how I had fallen in love with Becky despite that being one of two rules set at the beginning of our relationship. How do you break a rule when there are only two that you could possibly break?! I also asked my friend tonight if I should tell Becky I love her. His answer was a very short and simple "no". I'm here mostly to use Reddit as my therapist and maybe here the opinions of internet strangers on what I should do.
How do you suggest I take action here? What are some of the solutions for a long-distance relationship from 1,200 miles away? How can I move on from these thoughts and feelings if I should just let good things go (that made me cry a little)? How do you think that she would react?
2024.05.29 05:30 Cool-Tangerine-185 DM Uses “The Implication” To Force ERP On Female Player
Unfortunately, this is a DM I considered to be a friend. The campaign starts off with 5 of us at DM’s house. The DM, my best male friend (wood elf druid), my best female friend (human barbarian), my cousin (goliath rogue), and me (orc bard). This was the DM’s first time meeting the players. I knew DM from work and the others from school. He clearly liked human barbarian’s player and tried flirting with her. She told him she had a boyfriend so he took his flirtation into the game. Specifically using his DMPC. She was ok with in game flirting but told him upfront she wasn’t gonna get with the DMPC. So we went through this campaign and fought all manner of Dnd baddies working for an evil shadow sorcerer from Shadowfell trying to influence monsters in the prime material plane. As we fought and roleplayed and dealt with the cringy DMPC, we all kind of grew attached to our characters to varying degrees. I did notice though that human barbarian’s player was getting a bit overly attached to the character. She would talk our ear off about her lore—bordering on main character syndrome and would freak the hell out when she got low on HP. One incident in particular that stuck out was during a fight with a horde of revenants, was when she got downed. She started crying as she rolled a failed death save and we were able to fight them off as we tried comforting her and assuring her that death in Dnd can be an opportunity to flex your creativity but that just made her more upset. Despite the danger (thankfully without the DMPC). We healed her by the end thankfully. She apologized for her meltdown and told us she understood characters die sometimes. She said this but it was still obvious to everyone that she was too attached to this character. Including the DM. The DM later found a way to exploit this by leading the party to the DMPC’s secret castle as he planned to hold court to gather his allies (allegedly). As most of the party went down for a long rest, DMPC said “I’ll walk you to your chambers” to human barbarian. He told her stories of how forces of darkness like Shadow dragons, shadow demons, beholders will frequently attack these parts. Sometimes many at a time. “It could lead to a TPK” he said. We could tell she was getting nervous as the DMPC went on about how “forces beyond the player’s control” can kill you in an instant if they don’t get what they want. And then he arrives in her quarters and says “Best not to provoke these dark forces. I kiss your lips tenderly as I grab your hips and begin removing your succulent dress.” She tells him to stop out of game as she still didn’t wanna sleep with the DMPC. DM then said “That’s ok. You hear the bellowing echo of the darkness as DMPC begins chanting. Roll a perception check everyone.” As we rolled I gave DM a death stare and he just chuckled as he said “You all can tell it sounds like a powerful shadow monster and he seems to have picked up your soul signatures as DMPC keeps chanting.” She then called the DM out on what he was doing and DM said “What? I told you there were dark forces at play.” She started to cry and DM just said “Don’t cry. You know how to get out of this.” She then just got up and said she couldn’t do this and left in tears. Me and my other friend then got into it with the DM and said he was being a creepy asshole and he then tried to pivot and claim it was a joke and that our friend was just too over sensitive and made a remark about how this is “proof” that women should play Dnd. We did not get through to him and unsurprisingly we never played with him again. We talked to human barbarian’s player and apologized to her for not intervening sooner but she was just done with Dnd at this point. And none of us have played since with the exception of my cousin who is still friends with the DM.
tldr Asshole DM tries and fails to coerce a player to ERP with him with the implied threat of a TPK by shadow monsters
submitted by Cool-Tangerine-185 to rpghorrorstories [link] [comments]
tldr Asshole DM tries and fails to coerce a player to ERP with him with the implied threat of a TPK by shadow monsters
2024.05.29 05:27 thinkingstranger May 24, 2024
The defense and the prosecution today made their closing statements in the New York criminal case against Trump for falsifying business records to hide a $130,000 payment to adult film actress Stephanie Clifford, also known as Stormy Daniels. The payment was intended to stop her account of her sexual encounter with Trump from becoming public in the days before the 2016 election, when the Trump campaign was already reeling from the Access Hollywood tape showing Trump boasting of sexual assault.
The Biden-Harris campaign showed up at the trial today with veteran actor Robert DeNiro and former police officers Michael Fanone and Harry Dunn, who protected the U.S. Capitol and members of Congress from rioters on January 6, 2021. In words seemingly calculated to get under Trump’s skin, DeNiro said, “We New Yorkers used to tolerate him when he was just another grubby real estate hustler masquerading as a big shot,” and called him a coward.
When Robert Costa of CBS News asked campaign spokesperson Michael Tyler why they had shown up at the trial, Tyler answered: “Because you all are here. You’ve been incessantly covering this day in and day out, and we want to remind the American people ahead of the…first debate on June 27 of the unique, persistent, and growing threat that Donald Trump poses to the American people and to our democracy. So since you all are here, we’re here communicating that message.”
Yesterday, in remarks at Arlington National Cemetery in observance of Memorial Day, President Joe Biden honored “the sacrifice of the hundreds of thousands of women and men who’ve given their lives for this nation. Each one…a link in the chain of honor stretching back to our founding days. Each one bound by common commitment—not to a place, not to a person, not to a President, but to an idea unlike any idea in human history: the idea of the United States of America.”
“[F]reedom has never been guaranteed,” Biden said. “Every generation has to earn it; fight for it; defend it in battle between autocracy and democracy, between the greed of a few and the rights of many…. And just as our fallen heroes have kept the ultimate faith with our country and our democracy, we must keep faith with them,” he said.
His speech at Arlington echoed the message he delivered to this year’s graduating class at the United States Military Academy at West Point, where he urged the graduates to hold fast to their oaths. “On your very first day at West Point, you raised your right hands and took an oath—not to a political party, not to a president, but to the Constitution of the United States of America—against all enemies, foreign and domestic,” he said to applause. Soldiers “have given their lives for that Constitution. They have fought to defend the freedoms that it protects: the right to vote, the right to worship, the right to raise your voice in protest. They have saved and sacrificed to ensure, as President Lincoln said, a ‘government of the people, by the people, and for the people shall not perish from the Earth.’”
“[N]othing is guaranteed about our democracy in America. Every generation has an obligation to defend it, to protect it, to preserve it, to choose it,” he said. “Now, it’s your turn.” Biden spent more than an hour saluting and shaking the hand of each graduate.
In contrast, Trump ushered in Memorial Day with a post on his social media company, saying: “Happy Memorial Day to All, including the Human Scum that is working so hard to destroy our Once Great Country, & to the Radical Left, Trump Hating Federal Judge in New York that presided over, get this, TWO separate trials, that awarded a woman, who I never met before (a quick handshake at a celebrity event, 25 years ago, doesn’t count!), 91 MILLION DOLLARS for “DEFAMATION.” He then continued to attack E. Jean Carroll, the writer who successfully sued him for defamation, before turning to attack Judge Arthur Engoron, who presided over the civil case of Trump and the Trump Organization falsifying documents, and Judge Juan Merchan, who is presiding over the current criminal case in New York.
The message behind this extraordinary post was twofold: Trump can think of nothing but himself…and he appears to be terrified.
On Saturday, May 25, Trump had an experience quite different from his usual reception at rallies of hand-picked supporters. He was resoundingly booed at the national convention of the Libertarian Party in Washington, D.C., where Secret Service agents confiscated squeaky rubber chickens before his speech. Attendees jeered Trump’s order, “You have to combine with us,” even when he reminded them of his libertarian credentials—tax cuts and defunding of federal equality programs—and promised to pardon the January 6 rioters who attacked the U.S. Capitol.
Trump also promised to pardon Ross Ulbricht, who founded and from January 2011 to October 2013 ran an online criminal marketplace called Silk Road, where more than $200 million in illegal drugs and other illicit goods and services, such as computer hacking, were bought and sold. Most of the sales were of drugs, with the Silk Road home page listing nearly 13,000 options, including heroin, cocaine, ecstasy, and LSD. The wares were linked to at least six deaths from overdose around the world. In May 2015, Ulbricht was sentenced to life in prison and was ordered to forfeit more than $180 million.
Libertarians want Ulbricht released because they support drug legalization on the grounds that people should be able to make their own choices and they see Ulbricht’s sentence as government overreach. Trump has repeatedly called for the death penalty for drug dealers, making his promise to pardon Ulbricht an illustration of just how badly he thinks he needs the support of Libertarian voters. But they refused to endorse him.
Trump appeared angry, and on Sunday, as Greg Sargent reported in The New Republic, he reposted a video of a man raging at MSNBC host Joe Scarborough. In it, the man says that when Trump is reelected: “He’ll get rid of all you f*cking liberals. You liberals are gone when he f*cking wins. You f*cking blowjob liberals are done. Uncle Donnie’s gonna take this election—landslide. Landslide, you f*cking half a blowjob. Landslide. Get the f*ck out of here, you scumbag.”
Trump’s elevation of this video, Sargent notes, is a dangerous escalation of his already violent rhetoric, and yet it has gotten very little media attention.
Last November, Matt Gertz of Media Matters reported that ABC News, CBS News, and NBC News provided 18 times more coverage of 2016 Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton’s comment at a fundraising event that “you could put half of Trump’s supporters into what I call the basket of deplorables” who are “racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamophobic,” than they provided of Trump’s November 2023 promise to “root out the communist, Marxist, fascist and the radical left thugs that live like vermin within the confines of our country.”
CNN, the Fox News Channel, and MSNBC mentioned the “deplorables” comment nearly 9 times more than Trump’s “vermin” language. The ratio for the five highest-circulating U.S. newspapers was 29:1.
Clinton’s statement was consistent with polling, and she added that the rest of Trump’s supporters were “people who feel that the government has let them down, the economy has let them down, nobody cares about them, nobody worries about what happens to their lives and their futures, and they’re just desperate for change.” She said: “Those are people we have to understand and empathize with as well.”
Sargent noted that news stories require context and that Trump’s elevation of the violent video should be placed alongside his many threats to prosecute his enemies. While there is often concern over disrespect toward right-wing voters, Sargent writes, there has been very little attention to the presumptive Republican presidential nominee’s posting of “a video that declares a large ideological subgroup of Americans ‘done’ and ‘gone’ if he is elected.”
Scott MacFarlane of CBS News reported yesterday that Republicans have ignored a law passed in March 2022 requiring the placement of a small plaque honoring police officers who protected the U.S. Capitol and the lawmakers and staffers there on January 6, 2021. It was supposed to be in place by March 2023 but has not gone up. A spokesperson for House speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) says his office is working on it. Kayla Tausche of CNN reported today that three of the police officers at the Capitol that day—Sergeant Aquilino Gonell and Officer Harry Dunn, both retired, and Officer Daniel Hodges, who is still with the Washington, D.C., metropolitan police—will be traveling to swing states for the Biden campaign to tell voters that Trump threatens Americans’ fundamental rights.
Finally, today, Melinda French Gates, co-founder of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, announced $1 billion in new spending over the next two years “for people and organizations working on behalf of women and families around the world, including on reproductive rights in the United States.” Only 2% of charitable giving in the U.S. goes to these organizations, she wrote the New York Times, and “[f]or too long, a lack of money has forced organizations fighting for women's rights into a defensive posture while the enemies of progress play offense. I want to help even the match.”
—
Notes:
https://www.politico.com/news/2024/05/26/libertarians-reject-trump-rfk-chase-oliver-presidential-nominee-00160040
https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/speeches-remarks/2024/05/27/remarks-by-president-biden-at-the-156th-national-memorial-day-observance-arlington-va/
https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/speeches-remarks/2024/05/25/remarks-by-president-biden-in-commencement-address-to-the-united-states-military-academy-at-west-point-west-point-ny/
https://newrepublic.com/article/181973/trump-media-attacks-media-dangerous-turn
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/congress-fails-to-install-plaque-honoring-jan-6-police-officers/
https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/28/politics/biden-campaign-january-6-officers/index.html
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c722qy5dzlgo
https://www.politico.com/news/2024/05/25/trump-commute-ross-ulbricht-sentence-libertarian-convention-00160025
https://www.ice.gov/news/releases/ross-ulbricht-aka-dread-pirate-roberts-sentenced-life-federal-prison-creating
https://www.businessinsider.com/trump-is-spotlighting-ross-ulbricht-silk-road-appeal-to-libertarians-2024
https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/4305566-trump-doubles-down-death-penalty-for-drug-dealers/
https://www.mediamatters.org/donald-trump/major-news-outlets-gave-much-less-coverage-trumps-vermin-attack-then-they-did-clintons
https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/4687060-donald-trump-squeaky-chicken-libertarian-controversy/
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/28/opinion/melinda-french-gates-reproductive-rights.html
The Dworkin ReportDe Niro and Jan 6 Heroes Unload on Trump Outside NY TrialRobert De Niro just showed up outside the New York City courthouse, where Trump is facing 34 felony counts. Rightwing lunatics are already trying to start conspiracy theories lying and saying that thi…Read more8 hours ago · 765 likes · 132 comments · Scott Dworkin
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submitted by thinkingstranger to HeatherCoxRichardson [link] [comments]
The Biden-Harris campaign showed up at the trial today with veteran actor Robert DeNiro and former police officers Michael Fanone and Harry Dunn, who protected the U.S. Capitol and members of Congress from rioters on January 6, 2021. In words seemingly calculated to get under Trump’s skin, DeNiro said, “We New Yorkers used to tolerate him when he was just another grubby real estate hustler masquerading as a big shot,” and called him a coward.
When Robert Costa of CBS News asked campaign spokesperson Michael Tyler why they had shown up at the trial, Tyler answered: “Because you all are here. You’ve been incessantly covering this day in and day out, and we want to remind the American people ahead of the…first debate on June 27 of the unique, persistent, and growing threat that Donald Trump poses to the American people and to our democracy. So since you all are here, we’re here communicating that message.”
Yesterday, in remarks at Arlington National Cemetery in observance of Memorial Day, President Joe Biden honored “the sacrifice of the hundreds of thousands of women and men who’ve given their lives for this nation. Each one…a link in the chain of honor stretching back to our founding days. Each one bound by common commitment—not to a place, not to a person, not to a President, but to an idea unlike any idea in human history: the idea of the United States of America.”
“[F]reedom has never been guaranteed,” Biden said. “Every generation has to earn it; fight for it; defend it in battle between autocracy and democracy, between the greed of a few and the rights of many…. And just as our fallen heroes have kept the ultimate faith with our country and our democracy, we must keep faith with them,” he said.
His speech at Arlington echoed the message he delivered to this year’s graduating class at the United States Military Academy at West Point, where he urged the graduates to hold fast to their oaths. “On your very first day at West Point, you raised your right hands and took an oath—not to a political party, not to a president, but to the Constitution of the United States of America—against all enemies, foreign and domestic,” he said to applause. Soldiers “have given their lives for that Constitution. They have fought to defend the freedoms that it protects: the right to vote, the right to worship, the right to raise your voice in protest. They have saved and sacrificed to ensure, as President Lincoln said, a ‘government of the people, by the people, and for the people shall not perish from the Earth.’”
“[N]othing is guaranteed about our democracy in America. Every generation has an obligation to defend it, to protect it, to preserve it, to choose it,” he said. “Now, it’s your turn.” Biden spent more than an hour saluting and shaking the hand of each graduate.
In contrast, Trump ushered in Memorial Day with a post on his social media company, saying: “Happy Memorial Day to All, including the Human Scum that is working so hard to destroy our Once Great Country, & to the Radical Left, Trump Hating Federal Judge in New York that presided over, get this, TWO separate trials, that awarded a woman, who I never met before (a quick handshake at a celebrity event, 25 years ago, doesn’t count!), 91 MILLION DOLLARS for “DEFAMATION.” He then continued to attack E. Jean Carroll, the writer who successfully sued him for defamation, before turning to attack Judge Arthur Engoron, who presided over the civil case of Trump and the Trump Organization falsifying documents, and Judge Juan Merchan, who is presiding over the current criminal case in New York.
The message behind this extraordinary post was twofold: Trump can think of nothing but himself…and he appears to be terrified.
On Saturday, May 25, Trump had an experience quite different from his usual reception at rallies of hand-picked supporters. He was resoundingly booed at the national convention of the Libertarian Party in Washington, D.C., where Secret Service agents confiscated squeaky rubber chickens before his speech. Attendees jeered Trump’s order, “You have to combine with us,” even when he reminded them of his libertarian credentials—tax cuts and defunding of federal equality programs—and promised to pardon the January 6 rioters who attacked the U.S. Capitol.
Trump also promised to pardon Ross Ulbricht, who founded and from January 2011 to October 2013 ran an online criminal marketplace called Silk Road, where more than $200 million in illegal drugs and other illicit goods and services, such as computer hacking, were bought and sold. Most of the sales were of drugs, with the Silk Road home page listing nearly 13,000 options, including heroin, cocaine, ecstasy, and LSD. The wares were linked to at least six deaths from overdose around the world. In May 2015, Ulbricht was sentenced to life in prison and was ordered to forfeit more than $180 million.
Libertarians want Ulbricht released because they support drug legalization on the grounds that people should be able to make their own choices and they see Ulbricht’s sentence as government overreach. Trump has repeatedly called for the death penalty for drug dealers, making his promise to pardon Ulbricht an illustration of just how badly he thinks he needs the support of Libertarian voters. But they refused to endorse him.
Trump appeared angry, and on Sunday, as Greg Sargent reported in The New Republic, he reposted a video of a man raging at MSNBC host Joe Scarborough. In it, the man says that when Trump is reelected: “He’ll get rid of all you f*cking liberals. You liberals are gone when he f*cking wins. You f*cking blowjob liberals are done. Uncle Donnie’s gonna take this election—landslide. Landslide, you f*cking half a blowjob. Landslide. Get the f*ck out of here, you scumbag.”
Trump’s elevation of this video, Sargent notes, is a dangerous escalation of his already violent rhetoric, and yet it has gotten very little media attention.
Last November, Matt Gertz of Media Matters reported that ABC News, CBS News, and NBC News provided 18 times more coverage of 2016 Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton’s comment at a fundraising event that “you could put half of Trump’s supporters into what I call the basket of deplorables” who are “racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamophobic,” than they provided of Trump’s November 2023 promise to “root out the communist, Marxist, fascist and the radical left thugs that live like vermin within the confines of our country.”
CNN, the Fox News Channel, and MSNBC mentioned the “deplorables” comment nearly 9 times more than Trump’s “vermin” language. The ratio for the five highest-circulating U.S. newspapers was 29:1.
Clinton’s statement was consistent with polling, and she added that the rest of Trump’s supporters were “people who feel that the government has let them down, the economy has let them down, nobody cares about them, nobody worries about what happens to their lives and their futures, and they’re just desperate for change.” She said: “Those are people we have to understand and empathize with as well.”
Sargent noted that news stories require context and that Trump’s elevation of the violent video should be placed alongside his many threats to prosecute his enemies. While there is often concern over disrespect toward right-wing voters, Sargent writes, there has been very little attention to the presumptive Republican presidential nominee’s posting of “a video that declares a large ideological subgroup of Americans ‘done’ and ‘gone’ if he is elected.”
Scott MacFarlane of CBS News reported yesterday that Republicans have ignored a law passed in March 2022 requiring the placement of a small plaque honoring police officers who protected the U.S. Capitol and the lawmakers and staffers there on January 6, 2021. It was supposed to be in place by March 2023 but has not gone up. A spokesperson for House speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) says his office is working on it. Kayla Tausche of CNN reported today that three of the police officers at the Capitol that day—Sergeant Aquilino Gonell and Officer Harry Dunn, both retired, and Officer Daniel Hodges, who is still with the Washington, D.C., metropolitan police—will be traveling to swing states for the Biden campaign to tell voters that Trump threatens Americans’ fundamental rights.
Finally, today, Melinda French Gates, co-founder of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, announced $1 billion in new spending over the next two years “for people and organizations working on behalf of women and families around the world, including on reproductive rights in the United States.” Only 2% of charitable giving in the U.S. goes to these organizations, she wrote the New York Times, and “[f]or too long, a lack of money has forced organizations fighting for women's rights into a defensive posture while the enemies of progress play offense. I want to help even the match.”
—
Notes:
https://www.politico.com/news/2024/05/26/libertarians-reject-trump-rfk-chase-oliver-presidential-nominee-00160040
https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/speeches-remarks/2024/05/27/remarks-by-president-biden-at-the-156th-national-memorial-day-observance-arlington-va/
https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/speeches-remarks/2024/05/25/remarks-by-president-biden-in-commencement-address-to-the-united-states-military-academy-at-west-point-west-point-ny/
https://newrepublic.com/article/181973/trump-media-attacks-media-dangerous-turn
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/congress-fails-to-install-plaque-honoring-jan-6-police-officers/
https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/28/politics/biden-campaign-january-6-officers/index.html
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c722qy5dzlgo
https://www.politico.com/news/2024/05/25/trump-commute-ross-ulbricht-sentence-libertarian-convention-00160025
https://www.ice.gov/news/releases/ross-ulbricht-aka-dread-pirate-roberts-sentenced-life-federal-prison-creating
https://www.businessinsider.com/trump-is-spotlighting-ross-ulbricht-silk-road-appeal-to-libertarians-2024
https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/4305566-trump-doubles-down-death-penalty-for-drug-dealers/
https://www.mediamatters.org/donald-trump/major-news-outlets-gave-much-less-coverage-trumps-vermin-attack-then-they-did-clintons
https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/4687060-donald-trump-squeaky-chicken-libertarian-controversy/
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/28/opinion/melinda-french-gates-reproductive-rights.html
The Dworkin ReportDe Niro and Jan 6 Heroes Unload on Trump Outside NY TrialRobert De Niro just showed up outside the New York City courthouse, where Trump is facing 34 felony counts. Rightwing lunatics are already trying to start conspiracy theories lying and saying that thi…Read more8 hours ago · 765 likes · 132 comments · Scott Dworkin
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2024.05.29 05:25 CletusThaFetus69 I just want to know if I am correct in labeling my parents narcissists or not
I just want confirmation my parents are narcissist.
So... my mom has never really been loving. My dad had/had PTSD. It is his way or the highway. My mom will straight up tell people "I learned to ignore him", "I never wanted another kid, I should've got my tubes tied after the first one, his dad is the only reason I didn't get an abortion". She will buy me things, and then when i'm telling her she is acting horribly yelling at me for something minimal (not writing a note in the cashapp for example) and then say "I wasn't treating you horribly when I bought you this thing earlier!!"
I don't remember the last time I got a hug from either one of my parents.
My parents never actually helped me get my license, they claim they "Tried to teach me!!" but got about 20 driving hours for me, refused to fill out the time sheets, and would yell and freak out at every mistake I made on the road. They bought me a barely driveable $900 grandam @ 18 after I was told i'd get a new car when I graduated (I am 22 and graduated in 2020) I was expecting like a decent condition 2007-2008 car that would reliably get me from point a to point b but was bought a 2002 wrecked grandam with hood latches due to deer wreck damage and struts so bad that the back end would slide out from under it on minimal potholes and tires that I had the fill back up daily to keep it off the ground. $900 car that required $2000 worth of repairs. I had to eventually buy my own car (they never helped me fix it depaite my dad being a literal jet mechanic) and drive it back and forth from work illegally until I got good enough at driving to get my license, because it was apparently easier for my mom to continue driving me to work on her lunch break and picking me up from work at 7 then to spend a few weekends and hours after work some days with me preparing for a drivers test. They then sold the car randomly and were planning on pocketing the money until I told them hell no that was my 18th birthday gift and that was my money.
Both my mother and my dad would get physically aggressive and spank pretty excessively but not to the point where I was like "this is abuse". As I grew older and grew to be a bigger teenager it turned into them moreso actually trying to physically fight me, me running as to avoid a fight as they yelled things like "I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR F***ING HEAD OFF" and locking myself in my room or running around outside until they were no longer violently angry.
One time I got a full blown blender thrown at my shoulder as a kid because I didn't help my dad find his shoes when he was late to meet some of his work friends, he also in that instance chased me a quarter way down our street (thankfully I was like 16 5'10 and fast) before going home and cooling down.
One time he also threw a tape measure at my shin and I still have a mark in my shin bone from that.
Lots of promises that were never kept and were forgot about. "If you help me with this massive months long hard process I will buy you shing expensive thing" helps and never gets said thing but gets yelled at the whole time for not doing things "the right way"
My mom also called me ugly as a kid, told people in front of me (and I quote) "Yeah I was pissed when he came out with red hair, i don't like red heads!"
She would tell people I was a little bastard and would tell them the amount of adhd medication I was on and how it was enough for like 2 adults (i already started questioning why the hell I was on that amount of adhd medication in the first place, i was basically m37hed out on adderall and vyvanse and concerts as a 7-14 year okd kid)
One time she bought me a pokeball as a kid at walmart, and our way home I did something she didn't like and she grabbed the pokeball and chucked it out the window and bragged to people about it
One year my brother got a laptop and an ipod and some other stuff and ya boy got some action figures
My mom thrrows a fit that I don't "contribute in the house" or clean when I stick to my area of the house, don't use the kitchen or dishes (i have my own dishes I use and I eat out mainly so i don't have to deal with them) and don't created that messes that need to be cleaned up and I keep my areas of the house clean. I could probably go count 7 wrappers and 6 pop cans and 3 plates down on our kitchen bar right now and I do not spend any time in the kitchen but I am apparently supposed to clean that stuff up as well as do the dishes that I don't use.
My dad will say "Here i'll tell you what you need to do" and if I do anything other than agree with him he will say "well then you're f***int stupid"
My dad would get violently angry at you if there was a tiny piece of lettuce in his taco or anything but meat and cheese on his burger and if you laugh at him for how ridiculous he is reacting he redirects that anger and amplifies it towards you
My parents and brother would kinda gang up and do things that would "trigger" me and laugh and yell at me when I reacted badly.
I just want confirmation that this is narccisism. I've been looking for what to call my experience with my parents for a while and I think this is it.
submitted by CletusThaFetus69 to emotionalabuse [link] [comments]
So... my mom has never really been loving. My dad had/had PTSD. It is his way or the highway. My mom will straight up tell people "I learned to ignore him", "I never wanted another kid, I should've got my tubes tied after the first one, his dad is the only reason I didn't get an abortion". She will buy me things, and then when i'm telling her she is acting horribly yelling at me for something minimal (not writing a note in the cashapp for example) and then say "I wasn't treating you horribly when I bought you this thing earlier!!"
I don't remember the last time I got a hug from either one of my parents.
My parents never actually helped me get my license, they claim they "Tried to teach me!!" but got about 20 driving hours for me, refused to fill out the time sheets, and would yell and freak out at every mistake I made on the road. They bought me a barely driveable $900 grandam @ 18 after I was told i'd get a new car when I graduated (I am 22 and graduated in 2020) I was expecting like a decent condition 2007-2008 car that would reliably get me from point a to point b but was bought a 2002 wrecked grandam with hood latches due to deer wreck damage and struts so bad that the back end would slide out from under it on minimal potholes and tires that I had the fill back up daily to keep it off the ground. $900 car that required $2000 worth of repairs. I had to eventually buy my own car (they never helped me fix it depaite my dad being a literal jet mechanic) and drive it back and forth from work illegally until I got good enough at driving to get my license, because it was apparently easier for my mom to continue driving me to work on her lunch break and picking me up from work at 7 then to spend a few weekends and hours after work some days with me preparing for a drivers test. They then sold the car randomly and were planning on pocketing the money until I told them hell no that was my 18th birthday gift and that was my money.
Both my mother and my dad would get physically aggressive and spank pretty excessively but not to the point where I was like "this is abuse". As I grew older and grew to be a bigger teenager it turned into them moreso actually trying to physically fight me, me running as to avoid a fight as they yelled things like "I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR F***ING HEAD OFF" and locking myself in my room or running around outside until they were no longer violently angry.
One time I got a full blown blender thrown at my shoulder as a kid because I didn't help my dad find his shoes when he was late to meet some of his work friends, he also in that instance chased me a quarter way down our street (thankfully I was like 16 5'10 and fast) before going home and cooling down.
One time he also threw a tape measure at my shin and I still have a mark in my shin bone from that.
Lots of promises that were never kept and were forgot about. "If you help me with this massive months long hard process I will buy you shing expensive thing" helps and never gets said thing but gets yelled at the whole time for not doing things "the right way"
My mom also called me ugly as a kid, told people in front of me (and I quote) "Yeah I was pissed when he came out with red hair, i don't like red heads!"
She would tell people I was a little bastard and would tell them the amount of adhd medication I was on and how it was enough for like 2 adults (i already started questioning why the hell I was on that amount of adhd medication in the first place, i was basically m37hed out on adderall and vyvanse and concerts as a 7-14 year okd kid)
One time she bought me a pokeball as a kid at walmart, and our way home I did something she didn't like and she grabbed the pokeball and chucked it out the window and bragged to people about it
One year my brother got a laptop and an ipod and some other stuff and ya boy got some action figures
My mom thrrows a fit that I don't "contribute in the house" or clean when I stick to my area of the house, don't use the kitchen or dishes (i have my own dishes I use and I eat out mainly so i don't have to deal with them) and don't created that messes that need to be cleaned up and I keep my areas of the house clean. I could probably go count 7 wrappers and 6 pop cans and 3 plates down on our kitchen bar right now and I do not spend any time in the kitchen but I am apparently supposed to clean that stuff up as well as do the dishes that I don't use.
My dad will say "Here i'll tell you what you need to do" and if I do anything other than agree with him he will say "well then you're f***int stupid"
My dad would get violently angry at you if there was a tiny piece of lettuce in his taco or anything but meat and cheese on his burger and if you laugh at him for how ridiculous he is reacting he redirects that anger and amplifies it towards you
My parents and brother would kinda gang up and do things that would "trigger" me and laugh and yell at me when I reacted badly.
I just want confirmation that this is narccisism. I've been looking for what to call my experience with my parents for a while and I think this is it.
2024.05.29 05:17 LocallStatistician AITA for saying I'd probably get an abortion if I were in someone's position?
(My post got deleted from AITA, so I'm here) I think the title kinda says a lot but I'd just like to put out a few important details:
My sister's friend said yes and was really happy to come over. She has known me since I was little and kinda views me as her younger sister. I don't really feel the same as we have a big age gap and the only distinct memories of her "bonding" with me were because of my sister inviting her over, or just trying to babysit for a few extra bucks.
Anyways, she wanted me to meet my new "nephew." So let me hold him and starting talking about stuff related to her joy with pregnancy, which I didn't mind until she started talking about some other experiences. She started telling me how she actually had another pregnancy before this which ended in a misscarriage. She then started telling me a lot of details about it.
Now, I don't mind when people vent, I think it's healthy to get something off of your chest, but I'm just really bad at comforting. My mom used to raise my sister and me to think that "feeling bad emotions = bad/weak/not real." She doesn't do that anymore, but I still have a habit of following her outdated parenting. My dad also vents to me about stuff related to his adult-life, which makes me feel uncomfortable, because we're in two different stages in our life, and he always made me feel like I was responsible for. So yeah, I'm not particularly good at comforting people when they're venting.
Anyways, as my sister's friend started to vent more to me, she asked what I would do in her situation. I thought she meant if I were exactly in her shoes right then and there, so I said I'd probably try my best and get help from friends since she wanted this baby. Sister's friend corrected me, and asked what I would do if I were in her situation right now. Like if I just found out I was pregnant in my own life currently, not her shoes.
In all honesty, I'm not very active in the ongoing abortion debate in America. I just somewhat know about each side's stands and I do tend to lean forwards the pro-choice side because of how even life-saving abortions are being banned.
When truly thinking about, I would probably get an abortion. I mean, I'm a minor, my mom is strict and has always told me and my sister she'd throw us out if we got pregnant (so there goes the person I'm reliant on and major support-system), I'm trying to focus on school (or was, it's summer, so I'm just focused on extra-curriculars and my summer-credit classes). I also attend a very academically school (stereotypical for gifted students) that my mom worked really hard to get me into, and with the amount of work we have to do, I'd probably have to dropout if I were pregnant thus ruining my mom's hardwork and a lot of future opportunities for me. I have to take meds for my medical issues so being pregnant would mean I'd have to go off of them and risk my mental health falling to a place where I want to dei again. I don't even want kids, and if I did I would want to have them in my 30's. A lot of pregnancies under 19 are also considered high-risk, so there's that. I'm not interested in dating any guys at this moment of my life, so there's already bad signs.
I kept it brief, and told her, "I wouldn't have been able to be as strong as her in that situation." I thought she'd be satisfied, but she kept pressing on, asking what that meant, and what would my reaction be, would I be happy, sad, mad? When I tried shrugging it off and simple 'I don't knows' and 'I don't really want to talk about this anymore' She just kept asking a lot of questions and pressuring me, so I gave up and just said "I wouldn't keep it." She then got really upset and said how could I kill her innocent baby and what is wrong with me. She started yelling at me saying how wrong I am and her baby didn't do anything.
My mom heard this and asked her and her company to leave. Then a few hours later, my mom told me how sister's friend was really hurt about what I said l and I should've been more sensitive because of her hormones and stuff. My sister was the opposite. She said her friend didn't have any business telling a minor they need to keep a baby and how messed up it was to ask a minor how'd they react if they were suddenly pregnant one day despite (somewhat) knowing my issues.
To keep it short because the post is already long, my sister and mom bickered a bit which ultimately ended with my mom thinking I was TA and my sister thinking I wasn't. I'm just conflicted about all of this now because on one hand my mom has been pregnant and probably knows what hormones do to you and what I said might've been really harmful, but my sister has been friends with this girl for years, so even her pointing out that she might've been wrong is shocking.
AITA/AITAH?
submitted by LocallStatistician to AITAH [link] [comments]
- I'm a minor (still in high school)
- I'm recovering from an ED and struggle with depression
- I really care about school and want to succeed further in life.
- This is sort of a throwaway account. I was planning to use it earlier but procrastinated until I'm here today.
My sister's friend said yes and was really happy to come over. She has known me since I was little and kinda views me as her younger sister. I don't really feel the same as we have a big age gap and the only distinct memories of her "bonding" with me were because of my sister inviting her over, or just trying to babysit for a few extra bucks.
Anyways, she wanted me to meet my new "nephew." So let me hold him and starting talking about stuff related to her joy with pregnancy, which I didn't mind until she started talking about some other experiences. She started telling me how she actually had another pregnancy before this which ended in a misscarriage. She then started telling me a lot of details about it.
Now, I don't mind when people vent, I think it's healthy to get something off of your chest, but I'm just really bad at comforting. My mom used to raise my sister and me to think that "feeling bad emotions = bad/weak/not real." She doesn't do that anymore, but I still have a habit of following her outdated parenting. My dad also vents to me about stuff related to his adult-life, which makes me feel uncomfortable, because we're in two different stages in our life, and he always made me feel like I was responsible for. So yeah, I'm not particularly good at comforting people when they're venting.
Anyways, as my sister's friend started to vent more to me, she asked what I would do in her situation. I thought she meant if I were exactly in her shoes right then and there, so I said I'd probably try my best and get help from friends since she wanted this baby. Sister's friend corrected me, and asked what I would do if I were in her situation right now. Like if I just found out I was pregnant in my own life currently, not her shoes.
In all honesty, I'm not very active in the ongoing abortion debate in America. I just somewhat know about each side's stands and I do tend to lean forwards the pro-choice side because of how even life-saving abortions are being banned.
When truly thinking about, I would probably get an abortion. I mean, I'm a minor, my mom is strict and has always told me and my sister she'd throw us out if we got pregnant (so there goes the person I'm reliant on and major support-system), I'm trying to focus on school (or was, it's summer, so I'm just focused on extra-curriculars and my summer-credit classes). I also attend a very academically school (stereotypical for gifted students) that my mom worked really hard to get me into, and with the amount of work we have to do, I'd probably have to dropout if I were pregnant thus ruining my mom's hardwork and a lot of future opportunities for me. I have to take meds for my medical issues so being pregnant would mean I'd have to go off of them and risk my mental health falling to a place where I want to dei again. I don't even want kids, and if I did I would want to have them in my 30's. A lot of pregnancies under 19 are also considered high-risk, so there's that. I'm not interested in dating any guys at this moment of my life, so there's already bad signs.
I kept it brief, and told her, "I wouldn't have been able to be as strong as her in that situation." I thought she'd be satisfied, but she kept pressing on, asking what that meant, and what would my reaction be, would I be happy, sad, mad? When I tried shrugging it off and simple 'I don't knows' and 'I don't really want to talk about this anymore' She just kept asking a lot of questions and pressuring me, so I gave up and just said "I wouldn't keep it." She then got really upset and said how could I kill her innocent baby and what is wrong with me. She started yelling at me saying how wrong I am and her baby didn't do anything.
My mom heard this and asked her and her company to leave. Then a few hours later, my mom told me how sister's friend was really hurt about what I said l and I should've been more sensitive because of her hormones and stuff. My sister was the opposite. She said her friend didn't have any business telling a minor they need to keep a baby and how messed up it was to ask a minor how'd they react if they were suddenly pregnant one day despite (somewhat) knowing my issues.
To keep it short because the post is already long, my sister and mom bickered a bit which ultimately ended with my mom thinking I was TA and my sister thinking I wasn't. I'm just conflicted about all of this now because on one hand my mom has been pregnant and probably knows what hormones do to you and what I said might've been really harmful, but my sister has been friends with this girl for years, so even her pointing out that she might've been wrong is shocking.
AITA/AITAH?
2024.05.29 05:13 jambansangatbusuk AITAH for telling my older sister that she's not my sister anymore?
To start with i am f20 and my older sister is f24. We have younger siblings which is f16 and f13.
My sister and i have grew apart within the years. As i got more mature i realised my sister never a sister to me.
Recently we start living together in our parents house again because she quit her job and i am a fresh drop out college student. After years not living together, it feels weird.
She and i have different ideas, different lifestyle. I don't like hers and she don't like mine. We have arguments and fights for that. But i have two major fights with her that deeply hurt me.
The first one.
On that day, my family are currently having dinner. My younger sister is telling me about her day at school. She look proud telling about how her peers and teachers loved her. I keep listening quietly and didn't say anything as i wait for her to tell all the story.
My older sister on the other hand, did not do that. She keeps butting in and saying "that doesn't happen" or "that's not really cool" to her. My younger sister instantly got quiet after that and i noticed her changes in her expression.
I start thinking to myself that i would hate if that happens to me so i start defending my little sister. My older sister start to get angry and saying i am putting negative thoughts into her head and trying to make little sis hate her.
I reply by saying she should be considerate for other people. She got angrier and start yelling for me to be quiet. She said I'm not as good as i think i am.
I know. I never said i was good person. But at least i try to be better.
When she yelled at me, i got angry. I start yelling too. I said I'm defending little sis. That quickly turns into screaming match. Now i am a person that cries easily. So i started crying and telling that she never act like an older sister to me. She never treat me like a little sis. The least she could do is try to watch out for other's feelings.
She didn't listen and run back inside her room. She and i didn't speak for quite some time. And after we speak again, she just act like nothing happened while i remember every single thing.
I hate it when she would make little comments about everything i do. She would go absolutely apeshit if i gave her the same energy.
I love cooking and i would always try to learn and cook new recipes because i wanna eat them. Whenever i cook, her first reaction is insults my cooking saying it doesn't look good and horrible. Second is she would ask for my food. She would always, ALWAYS ask for my food.
Fast forward to today, during this time we had small arguments here and there but never big. Today my mother ask me to cook because she is tired. So i start preparing the ingredients and start cooking.
My older sis and younger sis comes to the kitchen that time. I start to feel a little annoyed because i know she will ask for it. It's not i don't want her to eat, i hate it when i would spend hours cooking alone and she would comes out her room, eat the food and return back to her room.
Our arguments started when my older sis and younger sis are talking about something. I didn't join the conversation until my older sis start to ask me something. So while cooking, i to them. Then, my sister brings up something that i use to do YEARS ago. Mind you that it was extremely sensitive topic for me.
So my mood start to changes. I told my mother to continue my cooking because i don't want to do it anymore. Then my older sis start to get a little mad. She said i shouldn't get offended because she was only joking and that i can't take a joke.
I reply back by saying i don't want to cook for lazy people. That's when she got angry. She said she don't even want my cooking because it's horrible. Everything i cook is horrible.
Who doesn't get angry at that? So i asked her if my cooking is that horrible, why she always ask me for my food? She answer that she just want to have taste test. She said she would never ask for me anything again.
I reply by saying i don't believe her because this isn't the first time she said that. I bring up the fact that she literally borrow my money and asked for my food two days ago.
Then she start telling me to be quiet and get mad at me. She ask why i want to start arguing. I was absolutely baffled because she's the one that starts this. So i asked her why she suddenly said that my cooking is horrible.
She keep telling me to be quiet and i keep asking her. I wanna know what gives her this audacity to be a brat. But she doesn't answer and quickly went back to her room
I started crying after she left and she said i was being dramatic. Because she don't want to listen to me, i texted her. Here's what i said:
"You should joke around stuff like that and expect people not be offended. You shouldn't joke like that because you would go wild if people jokes about your sensitive stuff. You never treated me like a little sister. I want you to know what you're not my sister anymore and hadn't been for a long time. I have friends that would act more of a sister to me than you'll ever be."
After that i blocked her contact.
So, am i the asshole for this?
submitted by jambansangatbusuk to AITAH [link] [comments]
My sister and i have grew apart within the years. As i got more mature i realised my sister never a sister to me.
Recently we start living together in our parents house again because she quit her job and i am a fresh drop out college student. After years not living together, it feels weird.
She and i have different ideas, different lifestyle. I don't like hers and she don't like mine. We have arguments and fights for that. But i have two major fights with her that deeply hurt me.
The first one.
On that day, my family are currently having dinner. My younger sister is telling me about her day at school. She look proud telling about how her peers and teachers loved her. I keep listening quietly and didn't say anything as i wait for her to tell all the story.
My older sister on the other hand, did not do that. She keeps butting in and saying "that doesn't happen" or "that's not really cool" to her. My younger sister instantly got quiet after that and i noticed her changes in her expression.
I start thinking to myself that i would hate if that happens to me so i start defending my little sister. My older sister start to get angry and saying i am putting negative thoughts into her head and trying to make little sis hate her.
I reply by saying she should be considerate for other people. She got angrier and start yelling for me to be quiet. She said I'm not as good as i think i am.
I know. I never said i was good person. But at least i try to be better.
When she yelled at me, i got angry. I start yelling too. I said I'm defending little sis. That quickly turns into screaming match. Now i am a person that cries easily. So i started crying and telling that she never act like an older sister to me. She never treat me like a little sis. The least she could do is try to watch out for other's feelings.
She didn't listen and run back inside her room. She and i didn't speak for quite some time. And after we speak again, she just act like nothing happened while i remember every single thing.
I hate it when she would make little comments about everything i do. She would go absolutely apeshit if i gave her the same energy.
I love cooking and i would always try to learn and cook new recipes because i wanna eat them. Whenever i cook, her first reaction is insults my cooking saying it doesn't look good and horrible. Second is she would ask for my food. She would always, ALWAYS ask for my food.
Fast forward to today, during this time we had small arguments here and there but never big. Today my mother ask me to cook because she is tired. So i start preparing the ingredients and start cooking.
My older sis and younger sis comes to the kitchen that time. I start to feel a little annoyed because i know she will ask for it. It's not i don't want her to eat, i hate it when i would spend hours cooking alone and she would comes out her room, eat the food and return back to her room.
Our arguments started when my older sis and younger sis are talking about something. I didn't join the conversation until my older sis start to ask me something. So while cooking, i to them. Then, my sister brings up something that i use to do YEARS ago. Mind you that it was extremely sensitive topic for me.
So my mood start to changes. I told my mother to continue my cooking because i don't want to do it anymore. Then my older sis start to get a little mad. She said i shouldn't get offended because she was only joking and that i can't take a joke.
I reply back by saying i don't want to cook for lazy people. That's when she got angry. She said she don't even want my cooking because it's horrible. Everything i cook is horrible.
Who doesn't get angry at that? So i asked her if my cooking is that horrible, why she always ask me for my food? She answer that she just want to have taste test. She said she would never ask for me anything again.
I reply by saying i don't believe her because this isn't the first time she said that. I bring up the fact that she literally borrow my money and asked for my food two days ago.
Then she start telling me to be quiet and get mad at me. She ask why i want to start arguing. I was absolutely baffled because she's the one that starts this. So i asked her why she suddenly said that my cooking is horrible.
She keep telling me to be quiet and i keep asking her. I wanna know what gives her this audacity to be a brat. But she doesn't answer and quickly went back to her room
I started crying after she left and she said i was being dramatic. Because she don't want to listen to me, i texted her. Here's what i said:
"You should joke around stuff like that and expect people not be offended. You shouldn't joke like that because you would go wild if people jokes about your sensitive stuff. You never treated me like a little sister. I want you to know what you're not my sister anymore and hadn't been for a long time. I have friends that would act more of a sister to me than you'll ever be."
After that i blocked her contact.
So, am i the asshole for this?
2024.05.29 05:12 RestNester The Problems With The MultiVersus Relaunch
Now that MultiVersus has returned, there is debate as to whether the game arrived with either positive or negative additions to the now fully finished, polished, and launched game. Many argue that the new mechanics have actually improved on the gameplay from the Open Beta alongside other neat additions, while others argue that the execution of the Beta versions gameplay amongst other details were remarkably better than the excuse for a finished game in these people's minds. In my opinion, the Open Beta beats the Official Game "quality" by a huge landslide, and here is why I believe that.
The coloring of the opponent and allies team color on the fighters looks atrocious and weird.
The game has crashed and disconnected over 20 times due to lag that will come at you even if you had the best Wi-Fi and/or Internet on the planet. They really should have prioritized working on the netcode instead of ruining the fluidity of the Open Betas gameplay.
If they were trying to make the graphics better with Unreal Engine 5, they failed miserably! Everything looks shiny and gross compared to the Open Betas graphics. "Work Smarter Not Harder" I guess.
The new dash attacks feel very clunky most of the time.
The scrapped Guilds mode sounds a lot better than Rifts mode. They are more or less the same, but the details about Guilds sound much more interesting than what we got in Rifts.
You cannot play as characters you don't own in offline modes such as "The Lab." (They took out the Training map from the game too)
People are missing the characters they purchased with real money???
The characters are so huge now and need to be their original size in the Beta.
Hopefully everything gets fixed, as I do want the game to succeed and be in the greatest state it can be because right now, everything is a dumpsterfire compared to the very low lows of the Open Beta days. If you guys have your own problems with the game or have anything to say about the game, leave a comment and have a great day!
submitted by RestNester to MultiVersus [link] [comments]
- "The Camera Zoom And Slow Paced Gameplay:" A lot of people seem to be aware of the camera zoom system that was implemented in MultiVersus (Which by the way, cannot be modified to where it is completely gone), alongside the dramatically slower movement. It seems that a possible reason for why Player First Games included this monstrosity of an addition was because of players reporting the spam of attacks in matches alongside the seemingly way too swift gameplay, which of course lead to Player First Games including the previously mentioned implementations in the relaunch, thinking that players would "think outside the box" with attacks when playing. Back in the Open Beta days, there was a little something called "Attack Decay!" Sounds wonderful right? Well, my friend, here is a description of this glorious mechanic; Attack Decay basically made opponents attempts at spamming attacks utterly useless! This mechanic rewarded players who were already thinking creatively when utilizing their fighters moveset splendidly, but it seems that everyone at Player First Games thought that this aid for players who aren't spamming the same move forgot its existence to where it is M.I.A in the Official Game. About the fast-paced gameplay, let me present a question; Do you really prefer the new slow-paced gameplay, or the way the movement worked in the Open Beta? The movement was arguably floaty during the Beta days, but you would think that the gameplay that for the most part did not need any fixing whatsoever (in most peoples eyes) would be perfected by only editing the very small grievances and glitches in this way of playing the game, right? Nope; we would instead get gameplay that really shows the transparency of the playable characters not fitting in the new gameplay style at all (Iron Giants meets the Dexter's Laboratory Map for example) that seemingly only a small portion of players seem to be content with. I am willing to bet that if a dedicated fighting game enthusiast were to playtest both the Open Beta and Official Game versions of MultiVersus, the enthusiast would prefer the Open Beta's almost near perfect fluidity that was fun to participate in compared to the clunkiness of the Official Game that feels like a chore to play through after a couple of matches.
- "The Corporate Similarities To Other Free To Play Games:" From the removal of the beautifully drawn 2D renders in game to make way for the ugliest 3D renders, to the layout of the Fighters menu quite literally being the FTP Battle Royale Locker, to the exclusion of a proper fighting game character select screen, almost everything about the new UI for MultiVersus screams "Fortnite" and "Stumble Guys'" unoriginality instead of a celebration of a company's Intellectual Properties with colorful, vivid, and creative design that actually was in the Open Beta. When you launch a game like Super Smash Bros or any MARVEL VS. CAPCOM game besides Infinite, you can feel the authentic love and passion poured into every single aspect of the game. When you log on MultiVersus, you are bombarded with microtransactions that probably cost as much as a wedding ring when accumulated together. Adding to these problems, fighters who should be carefully selected and handpicked with the intent of being well thought-out inclusions to the roster are treated like the average skin that adds no value to the gameplay in the average FTP game. So many people are fine with the idea of MultiVersus having an infinite number of character slots and franchises one day that could give Fortnite's colossal library of franchises a run for its money, but has anyone thought about the example of not having every participant in a baseball game receiving the big trophy, as well as keeping the roster at a reasonable limit to avoid having the roster the same size as a MultiVersus fan roster on DeviantArt? We have characters like Banana Guard before Scooby Doo, Samurai Jack, and many other characters who are objectively better picks for a celebration of Warner Bros as a whole; and yes, every good fighting game has a good selection of joke characters, but MultiVersus has not even reached the excellence of other platform fighters with their current strategy (putting emphasis on the most laughable and unnecessary aspects of a game) to add a joke character in a roster that has missing combatants that are way more important to Warner Bros history. But hey, Warner Bros and Player First Games have to make that green paper somehow, and they more than likely don't care about the fact that adding a "Passion Project" like Banana Guard before Daffy Duck is a massive slap to the face to people who want beloved characters added to the game that are not treated as muses to sell rubbish.
- "Miscellaneous Stuff That Doesn't Need It's Own Category!!!:"
The coloring of the opponent and allies team color on the fighters looks atrocious and weird.
The game has crashed and disconnected over 20 times due to lag that will come at you even if you had the best Wi-Fi and/or Internet on the planet. They really should have prioritized working on the netcode instead of ruining the fluidity of the Open Betas gameplay.
If they were trying to make the graphics better with Unreal Engine 5, they failed miserably! Everything looks shiny and gross compared to the Open Betas graphics. "Work Smarter Not Harder" I guess.
The new dash attacks feel very clunky most of the time.
The scrapped Guilds mode sounds a lot better than Rifts mode. They are more or less the same, but the details about Guilds sound much more interesting than what we got in Rifts.
You cannot play as characters you don't own in offline modes such as "The Lab." (They took out the Training map from the game too)
People are missing the characters they purchased with real money???
The characters are so huge now and need to be their original size in the Beta.
Hopefully everything gets fixed, as I do want the game to succeed and be in the greatest state it can be because right now, everything is a dumpsterfire compared to the very low lows of the Open Beta days. If you guys have your own problems with the game or have anything to say about the game, leave a comment and have a great day!