Bhai ke chudai

bhai actual me serious hu, please already boht gaali padi hai harr jagah se, i have prepared the whole year but last me revision kaise karte hai ye hi nahi samajh paaya, please kuchh btao jisse ye mauka naa gava baithu...
and agar nahi bhi hoga reneet toh bhi ye meri hope hai, mai uske hisaab se karna chahta hu.. ho na ho ek mauka milne ke sirf naam se mai prepare karna chahta hu.
jinke 650 aa rahe hai btao please

bhai kisi ke pass saleem sir ke dropper lectures h kya 2024 ke dedo plsh

Bhai tum sablogo ko ek cheez btani hai mai Delhi ncr hardly delhi se 5 min ki doori pe rehta hun. Mera homestate up hai . Yaar Dil ki kaafi regret hota hai ki agar mai delhi se 12th krta toh merko Dtu ke tag miljaata waha pr mene check liya toh Engineering physics ,civil ,production aur environmental jaisi branches mil jaati. Ab merko Jss noida jaise college mai cse leni padegi . Toh Jo mujhe regret ho rha hona chahiye kya .Bhai maine apne mummy papa ko 10th ke baad bhot bola tha ki school change krwado .magar unko maana tha ki naye school Naya mohol .isliye jhaa se 10th ki waha 12th bhi kro .mujhe apne parents Ke decision pr bhot regret hota hai 💔💔

Bhai tum sablogo ko ek cheez btani hai mai Delhi ncr hardly delhi se 5 min ki doori pe rehta hun. Mera homestate up hai . Yaar Dil ki kaafi regret hota hai ki agar mai delhi se 12th krta toh merko Dtu ke tag miljaata waha pr mene check liya toh Engineering physics ,civil ,production aur environmental jaisi branches mil jaati. Ab merko Jss noida jaise college mai cse leni padegi . Toh Jo mujhe regret ho rha hona chahiye kya .Bhai maine apne mummy papa ko 10th ke baad bhot bola tha ki school change krwado .magar unko maana tha ki naye school Naya mohol .isliye jhaa se 10th ki waha 12th bhi kro .mujhe apne parents Ke decision pr bhot regret hota hai 💔💔

video link

It's the year 20XX.
It's a sweet yet breezy night on the eve of Ganesh Chaturthi at Gokuldham.
The clock has just passed 8:30 p.m. and one can hear voices coming through the doors of the clubhouse.
The voices are rough and old, yet there's some sweetness to it. They are familiar voices. It's Bhide, Iyer and Popatlal, discussing about banishing someone from Gokuldham's Cultural Fiestas.
Bhide's still savoury about how he couldn't properly see off Sonu, who is spending her honeymoon in the UK. He keeps muttering "mein yeh Gada family ko chorunga nehi. Mujhe Sonu ko permission hi nhi dena chaiye tha 😠🥸!!".
Hearing this, the newly promoted Senior Scientific Research Head of his department, Mr S. Iyer, with a smirk, says " main toh abhi ke abhi usko ban karne ka bolta hain. Atmaram, yeh decision meh main tumraha hundred percent saath dega. 😈"
Adding to the conversation, a merry and ecstatic Popatlal says " Bhide, jo bhi ho, tum kisi aur ka gussa Tapu and Sonu peh maat nikalo. Un logo ko shanti se apna honeymoon manane do, bhai. 😪"
Bhide, with his frowning eyebrows, yells " haan Popatlal, tum toh bologe hi. Akhir shaadi-shuda jo ho gaye ho aab 😒. Jaab tum ek beti ke baap banoge na, taab tumhe pata chalega kitna tension hota hain! Choro yesaab, bhabi ko phone lagao aur pucho ki Mahila mandal hain kaha? Aur balance ka bahana maat dena please!! 😑"
With a bit of irritation, Popatlal agrees to Bhide and calls his wife.
A sudden phone starts ringing but is subdued by bursts of laughter coming from a group of jolly and giggling women climbing the clubhouse's stairs.
These are very familiar faces with a new one added to the flock. They are Daya Bhabi, Madhvi Bhabi, Anjali Bhabi, Komal Bhabi, Roshan Bhabi, Babita Ji and Mrs. Popatlal 😊😇.
Coming to the entrance of the society is a mediocre yet busy departmental store. The store is bigger than its predecessor "All-In-One Abdul's Soda Shop" but smaller than a typical commercial departmental store. Yet the customers keep flooding in, even in the late hours of the day. The owner is Abdul and today he's in a hurry. He won't be able to make it to the society meeting.
His wife called saying his little baby boy won't eat until his father arrives.
But, keeping Abdul occupied are three young men. Gogi, Goli and Pinku.
Pinku, sipping the masala soda, says " Goli, chinta maat kar, bhabi ko pata hi nhi chalega, pee le ek glass 😂".
Adding to it, Gogi says " oye Pinku! bilkul sahi kaha. Oye balle balle karke pee leh ek glass masala soda, Doctor Gulab Kumar!! 😇😂 "
Goli, in a grim voice, replies
" Gogi, Pinku tumlog engineers ho, doctors nahi. Tumhe kya pata yeh masala soda peene se mere diet peh kinta assaar padega! 😒
Aur Gogi, wo meri hone wali biwi hain, uski baat toh sunni hi padegi na. 😑 Abhi Mehta Uncle ko hi dekhlo. 🫤 Kabhi Anjali aunty neh baksh diya unko? 😓 Aur toh aur wo mummy se aur Abdul uncle se almost regularly meri khabar leti rehti hain. 😔
Aur Pinku, teri bhi toh girlfriend hain na? Tu kya uska baath nhi manta?! 😏"
Interrupting their gossip, Abdul hastily
says " Baccho, I mean Goli sena, jaldi peeo soda. Mujhe late ho raha hain!! 😓 "
Pinku adds " Abdul uncle, aab toh aap paas ke neighbourhood peh shift ho gaye ho. Chinta maat karo. Jaldi ghar pauch jaoge. 😄"
Coming to the much-celebrated compound of Gokuldham, stands a beautifully decorated pandal. Passing by it, are two men, heading towards the clubhouse from the A-wing. They are Sodhi and Haathi bhai.
Haathi bhai's everlasting smiles 😁😋 are spreading more as his son's wedding date is inching closer.
Sodhi's spirits are high as ever 😊👌, due to a hefty increase in sales, in his inaugural car showroom.
On their way, Sodhi has a quick glance to his right and finds the evergreen Taarak Mehta climbing the old, rusty metallic staircase attached to the B-wing. Sodhi zestfully raises his right arm, waves at Taarak, and shouts " Ooooo Mehta Saaab(Saheb) jaldi ajaao aap dono, humlog clubhouse meh wait karenge. 😊"
Mehta Saab(Saheb) turns, looks at them, nods with a grin and climbs all the way up.
Upon reaching the first floor, Taarak enters through a door and walks into a room to find three people talking among themselves.
It's an old familiar face sitting on the wheelchair, smiling and bidding adieu to the other two, Nattu Kaka and Bagha.
It's Champak Chacha in the wheelchair.
Taarak surprisingly greets everyone and asks
"arreh Nattu Kaka aur Bagha? 🤨 Ap dono yeha? 🤨 Iss vakt? 🤨 sab kuch theek hain na mere param mitra ke sath? 🤨"
Laughing to this Nattu Kaka says that he has come to thank "Seth ji" for increasing his salary for the third time in two years. 😊
While, Bagha, the newly appointed Manager of Gada Electronics-2, has come to thank "Seth Ji" for granting him a small vacation, which his wife, Bawri kept insisting on, ever since their marriage. 😄
After this,
Both leave hastily yet joyfully.
Then, Champak Chacha smiles and says to Taarak "arreh Mehtus! Jaa bedroom ke andaar ja. 😄
Waha beheta hain. Bohot Kush hain aaj. Jaa bedroom meh jaa. 😄 "
Taarak is taken aback by Nattu Kaka's salary hike and Bagha's wish fulfilment all done by his beloved friend, who is being joyful on top of it. He predicts something weird yet marvellous has happened to his beloved friend,
and, quickly storms to the bedroom.
Upon entering, he finds a joyous and grinning face sitting on the bed, with a suitcase full of money.
Taarak whispers "arre JETHALAL!! Kya baath hain bhai ... akhir hua kya ajanaak jo tum itne khush ho? 😃🤔"
a sharp and shrewd voice answers,
" .. MEHTA SAAB!! aiye! aiye! 😃😃
Kya batau apko ( ahh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha ) 😄😄
akhir Sundaar aah hi gya pahar ke niche!! akhir lauta hi diya mere saare paise!! 😁😁"
Mehta Saab, with his protruding eyes, asks
" kaab? kyse? yeah chamatkar kyse ho gya? 😯😧"
Jethalal says " haan haan sab batahu 😮‍💨. Sab Bapuji ke kaaran hain 😁! Akhir Bapuji ki pravachan neh isko bhi badal dala!! 😌😮‍💨
Chaliye clubhouse jaate jaate sab vistar se batata hu!😄"
Mehta Saab nods to Jethalal and both head towards the drawing room.
Both seek Champak Chacha's blessings 😇
and head for the clubhouse.
It's a calm and beautiful night. 🌙
The stars are dazzling in the sky. 🌃
Jethalal and Mehta Saab have started strolling around the pandal, talking to each other before entering the clubhouse.
A mild breeze is blowing. 🎐🍃
Everyone is feeling the festive season.
It's a blissful night at Gokuldham.
It's almost 9 p.m.
Champak Chacha gets a phone call from his friend Ramji Kaka, and starts talking to him merrily.
Abdul has reached home by now and is having dinner with his family.
Goli, Gogi and Pinku are at Goli's house, having a sleepover because tomorrow's a holiday and they need to prepare for the function. Bhide will let them know of the plans later on.
Somewhere in Ahmadabad, ACP Mr Pandey has caught a much-wanted and notorious con man named Sundarlal. He is happy and is eyeing yet another promotion.
Back at Gokuldham, the Mahila Mandal has taken their seats in the clubhouse.
An annoyed Bhide is about to start the meeting. Suddenly Bhide’s phone rings!!
Bhide, with excitement and disappointment both, receives the call, yelling, “Haan Tapu, Sonu ko phone do 😒”
Tapu and Sonu have called Bhide to greet him and everyone else as they know everyone’s going to be there for the Ganesh Chaturthi meeting.
Upon knowing it is Tapu and Sonu’s call, almost everyone gets up and starts walking towards Bhide.
THAT TYPICAL CHAOTIC/INTENSE/DRAMATIC TMKOC BACKGROUND MUSIC STARTS PLAYING
Bhide starts lecturing Tapu, walking away from everyone.
Everyone starts running after Bhide's phone. 🤳🚶⬅️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♀️..
Bhide won't stop lecturing Tapu. 🤬 Tapu wants to talk to others. 😓
Sonu’s voice can be heard, saying, “Baba!!! main thik hoon, app Tapu ko mat danto!! 😥😓
Suddenly,
Jethalal and Mehta Saab enter the clubhouse!!
Iyer and Popatlal immediately start mocking Jethalal.
The Mahila Mandal wants to talk to Sonu.
Jethalal goes " Babitaa jiiiii.. 🤩"
Bhide, while screaming on the phone, hears Jethalal
and yells, " Jethalaaaaaaal!!!!! firse late?!!! 🤬"
Babita ji looks at Jethalal and says, “ Jetha ji! 😅😄”
Iyer goes, “Jethalaaaaal, tum kab sudhrega? 👿”
Popatlal starts saying, “Nhi cancel, meeting cancel!!
Jethalal tum bohot late ho. 😤”
All of a sudden,
Jethalal, Bhide, Iyer and Popatlal start arguing.
Tapu and Sonu want to talk to everyone.
Madhvi bhabhi screams, “Ahoo! aap phone do na!
Sonu see baat krni hai! 😡 Kyun Tapu ke piche padh gye ap?” Daya bhabhi wants to talk to Tapu.
Sodhi is trying to calm things down by grabbing Popatlal from behind.
Hathi bhai can’t even get up and is already feeling hungry!
Chaos has started hitting the roof.
Everyone has started talking and screaming.
The usual hustle and bustle has started.
Seeing all this, Anjali bhabhi turns towards Taarak and asks him to do something.
Taarak Mehta sees all this.
Turns towards us. Breaks the fourth wall. Smiles
and
Says, " Dosto, yehi hain humari Gokuldham Society! Aab vakt hain aapse vida lene ka. Paar aap dukhi maat hoiye ga.
Aap log baas HAASTE RAHIYE! MUSKURATE RAHIYE! Aur.. "
pauses, with a tear in his eye, smiles and says, " Dilo meh Yaadh rakhiye hum sabko.. Hum Hain..
TAARAK MEHTA KA OOLTAH CHASHMAH" :) THE TITLE SONG STARTS PLAYING
Thank you :)
(I HAVE NOT WRITTEN THIS IT HAS BEEN TAKEN FROM QUORA)

Bhai tum logo ko mana marks inflation hota hai congrats. But sadly humare neet walo ke paas kuch actual substance hai uspe sawal uthane ke. Tumhari hi group mein agar unity nahi toh hume mat koso. Bacho ne padhai ki padhai toh achi baat hai. Phir kyu hore itne saare omr calculated vs actual marks ke error? Kyu kafi bacho ke result nahi huye download? Tum sab apni ego mein dusro ka bura chahte and phir rote ho ki humara kyu kuch nahi hora. And neetards tumko agar lagta hai is saal inflation normal hai so pls apko jo college mil raha niklo udhar and agar nahi mil raha toh leave neet but baaki ke paas puchne ka hak hai ki when will education system improve and seats reasonable kab badhengi. Tum logo har saal gaali dete ho but action ke time apni hi pant ke ched mein ghus jaate ho.
I am not criticizing all jeetards but woh log joh pura saal NTA ko gaali dete hai and phir kuch nahi karte jab moka mile unke liye hai and same with neetards. 27s1 pe itna bawal nahi hua but abhi bhi uska issue utha sakte ho but koi nahi karega. Alsi ho khud and dusre jo apne future ko save karna chahta hai usko bolte ho, hypocrites.

Ek aur attempt bacha hai abhi JEE ka. Agar yeh attempt nahi diya toh eventually andar hi andar regret karunga. 2 saal se vidyapeeth ka student hu bhai IIT delhi ke saamne wali gali mein padhate the almost har roz khaali dekhta tha IIT ko aaj ke result ke baad bhi khaali dekhta hi na dekhta rahu IIT ko isliye decided to take a drop.
One Last Ride to IIT. Try nahi karunga toh eventually GATE wagerah se dekhna padega par andar hi andar regret hoga is baat ka ki IIT nahi nikla mera
Koi karega mere saath YPT par for a whole year until the next advance?
BITSAT ke baad start karunga

Sabse strong phy tha Mera mock mein avg score 60+ bhai lekin adv mein phy mein not even 10 marks bro, idk bhai kitna Ganda fuckup Kiya meine bro(koi hai joh mere se relate kar payega ya mein hi chutiya hu) . Like mains mein bhi 80+ the marks phy mein, mujhe lag rha tha phy itna acha hai BITS meinMSC phy lelunga bhai ab self doubt ho rha hai ki meine yeh kya kardiya.my last option is bits 2 attempt, i don't wana take drop I just want admission in bits 1st attempt mein 220 the is saal skyrocket competition dekh ke nhi lagta khuch mil payega, whish me luck for 2nd attempt .

Most Irritating dialogues: 1. Oy tenu to me chhadanga nai (sodhi & bhand gogi) 2. Oh come on (komal) 3. Me sher puttar hu (bhand gogi) 4. Saav ghelo chhe (roshan) 5. Wo hua yu ki...(whole society) 6. Gokuldhamyansa vijayaso vijayaso vijayaso (whole society) 7. Hamara naam hai chalu pandey juth bologe to padenge dande (chalu pandey) 8. Chaluji pandeyji (jethalal) 9. Bade sayaane keh ke gaye hai (bagha) 10. Me atmaram tukaram bhide is gokuldham society ka ekmeva secretary (bhide) 11. Haay haay galti se mistake ho gayi (bavri)
Some legendary & funniest dialogues:

1. Babuchak (bapuji)
2. Chapli panchat (jethiya)
3. Pagal aurat (jetjiya)
4. Vo to jesi jiski soch (vintage bagha)
5. Nahane ja nahane jaaa (bapuji)
6. Ae popat (abdul)
7. Cancel cancel cancel (dibba)
8. Good morning aunty (jethiya)
9. Chalega (jethiya)
10. Bravo bavro (natukaka)
11. Goli...nai beta...masti nai (jethiya)
12. Jetha uncle...masti nai masti nai (goliya raja)
13. Dayaaa...chai (jethiya)
14. Namaste me kutto se darta hu (bapuji)
15. Bandiya...shuru hoja beta (bhide)
16. Ae bhindi chup (tapuda)
17. Sahi baat hai (hathi)
18. Chal chal have (bapuji & jethiya)
19. Kya uncle? Smart lag rahe ho (goli)
20. Chai piyo biscuit khao (jethiya)
21. Bapujitaji (jethiya)
22. Ek kaam kar gogi ko bula gogi ko (bapuji)
23. Me duniya hila duga (dibba)
24. Kem palty? (Baka)
25. Pehle paani nimbu paani nimbu paani nimbu ab nimbu paani nimbu paani nimbu paani
26. Ram bolo bhai ram (some random society member)
27. Halelululu a lula (daya)

bhai ab rishtedaar bhi yahi time pe aa gaye, ab saala aake poochhenge kya hai kaise hai and taunt maarenge, i cant even explain how much i hate this... kuchh btao
last time humaare financial condition ka mazaak uda ke kehte ki wo hote toh abroad se mbbs karwa dete
its causing so much frustration ki mai padh bhi nahi paa rha

Bhai kisi post ke comments me ek bandha tha saying "If marks vs rank is even 0.01% worse than 2023 I will Fckin Bomb IIT Madras". Kahan gya, I want to join you

bhai easy vac ke practical subjects chahiye

My dad is asking me to study as he is 99 percent sure re neet at least for the top 5 lakh kids will be there.
I trust him very much. Toh i am going to study. Agar nahi bhi hua re neet, toh koi nahi. Do saal se padh rhi hoon, dropper hoon, himmat toh chahiye hi college jaane ke liye bhi.
So I am leaving reddit now. Hoping for the best. All the best guys. Thank you for all your help!!
( PS : u/IamKameena1 , bhai i understand you are in a hard situatuation, i do feel sad for you. 652 is a good score which you have worked hard for. I pray to god that you can find the courage again. All thr best man.)

To all those neetards out there protesting for reneet , aaj advance ka result tha , is it a coincidence ki mains 1 , mains 2 , nta , advance, mhtcet , comedk sab me rank inflation he ? Bhai nta sach bol rha grace 1600 ko hi Mila he which won't affect much result , ye 2024 ke batch ko vaccine ke side effects hue he lagte , sab ke sab topper bhare pade he , accept the reality and move on . Padho aur 700+ laao , koi solution nhi iska , bahane maarne se kuch nhi hoga itna realise ho gya he mujhe bhi

I lost.....i fucking lost this battle!!
Jan mein 95%ile bani 27s2.....Mann mei aa raha tha chalo drop lelete hain. Par nahi , socha koi na taiyaari jaari rakhta hun april sambhal lunga.
But the dilemna was ki adv, jo ki mere liye dream tha pe dhyan dun ya April. Socha lets drop Advanced ka plan and focus on mains. And result aaya, meri aai 97.2%ile and i got to know meri shift 6s1 one of the easiest keh rahe the log. Bass uss din bhi sab khatam tha, socha bc mains mei 99 tak nahi laa pa raha to adv kyun hoga. Phir wahi, "Drop leleta hun, drop hi harr cheez ka solution hai". JEENEEtards pe sab rok rahe hain drop ke disadvantages batake. But still i was like " saala in log ka accha nahi gaya to rank inflation ko blame karne lag gaye"
But nahi, mai phir bhi socha yar adv is a whole different game wahan esa nahi hoga. Adv ke liye bahut mehnat ki.......paper ke din main dekhta hun Mettalurgy,surface chem, solid state, Pblock jaise portions jo maine specifically rank booster k taur pe padhe the wo to aaye hi nahi. Jaise taise karke 107 marks bane adv mein. I know not a great marks par maine socha tha kuch rank aayegi to kam se kam Drop k liye convice karna parents ko easy hoga. But guess what, i'm not qualified.
To ab kya,Drop? Dekh honestly bolun to ab meri gaand phat chuki hai competition dekh ke. Tereko ek bhi.....like ek bhi exam dikha kya jahan rank inflation nahi hua??? Mains, Adv, NEET(obviously), even comedk, and jitna maine dekha BITSAT mei bhi aaj kal 280+ to sabke hi aa rahe. So i would want to address ese log jo drop soch rahe ho, bhai yar soch lo ek baar. Its not about ki tum marks nahi badha paoge drop year pe....par baat hai ki tumhare badhe hue marks ki bhi koi value nahi rahegi agle saal. Ek neetard didi whom i know, unke 500 se iss bar 602 improve hue. Par rank hardly improve hui hai. Soch lo
So yeah finally i have decided, I accept my defeat now. Ego pe leke drop lena is no good decision. Mai sach batau, mereko mere pe itna vishwaas hai ki mai kar jaunga agle saal agar chance mile to. 97.2 pe hun 43k rank, syllabus padhna nahi h dabake question karna hai. Ghamand nahi hai vishwaas hai khudpar. Par no, jaise maine bola ego pe ab kuch nahi lena. Jan ke baad se roj ek hopium mei jee raha hun ki chalo xyz exam mei to nahi hi hoga rank inflation. Par god has a different plan for our year and years to follow .And finally from now on i'm using the flair, "college pe jake hustle karunga"