Hello women of Reddit,
I'm going through a very rough time emotionally and spiritually and have always found peace when I express my thoughts by writing them out so I figured I would find a Subreddit to express myself and see what strangers who are impartial to my situation will say. There's always two sides to a story, so I'll be mindful to not sit here like a narcissist trying to paint a holy picture of myself and an unholy one of her. I pledge to be completely honest, even if I am burned at the stake in the comments for any wrongdoings of mine. Please note there's a limit to how many characters I can type in here, so 20 years of history for important context will need to be summarized as much as possible. I'll do my best to keep it relevant and share the parts that matter.
In my first year of high school at age 13, a friend of mine was dating a girl from a different high school that he would bring around to hang out with us. She seemed like a nice girl as far as I could tell, but I couldn't help but notice how literally everyone who had something to say about her would always highlight and emphasize that she was a slut and they would tell stories about stuff she has done when she was drunk. I didn't think much of it at the time because why would I? It had nothing to do with me. Soon after, I moved to a different high school and cut ties with that friend.
A few years went by, and one day out of nowhere to my surprise, she called my house to say hi, and to see if I wanted to hang out. I decided to hang out with her because I learned from her that she was no longer dating the guy I met her through, and we were somewhat acquainted already so it felt ok. We started to hang out a lot and I started feeling those fuzzy feelings in my stomach where I knew I was beginning to develop feelings for her, and so much that I was finding myself "borrowing" my dads' car when I didn't yet have my license just to be able to go see her. People around me who knew her started to notice that her and I were getting close, and I started getting warnings from literally dozens of people to not bother with her because she's a slut, and she's just going to hurt me in the end. Despite all these warnings, the feelings I had inside of me for her at that time were too strong to ignore, so I ended up ignoring the warnings people were giving me and wanted to judge her from my experience with her rather than other people's words.
During the time I was hanging out with her, I soon learned that she was apparently seeing or casually dating someone new, which of course bothered me because I liked her and I could feel from her that she liked me too. I started noticing that certain times in evenings she would not answer her phone at all and because I was increasingly growing so in love with her, I literally would begin to sit outside her place down the street in a car just to see what the hell she was doing certain evenings that she wouldn't answer my calls. Of course, it soon became obvious to me that she was going to see this guy she was "seeing" because she would always jump in a taxi very late night and get dropped off at the same house. I'm ashamed when I look back and realize that I was somewhat stalking her and being creepy, but the intentions weren't bad but rather just a little too curious, and it was also killing me inside to see her casually seeing this older guy who I felt was probably just exploiting her for sex. I say that because it was weird to me that she never hung out with him during the day as friends like her and I did but only went to see him late at night, so my mind started messing with me a lot and all the rumours about her started coming in as intrusive thoughts. I'm already a person who has a very deep depth of conscious thoughts so I can sometimes get very deep into my imagination and that's not really a good thing when the mind goes into dark and negative places.
One day during an afternoon I dropped by her house unannounced and I knocked on her house door but no one answered even though I was sure she was home. I went to the side of the house and climbed up on a utility box below her bedroom window that she would always sneak out of, so I can look through the window and maybe get her attention, and I instantly couldn't believe my eyes. There she was butt naked having sex with her ex-boyfriend, the guy I was friends with in early high school. I felt sick to my stomach that I walked right into that so I quickly left to my car and immediately drove off. It was so disturbing to see this and also to realize she was fucking an older guy and also liked me, all three at the same time. I never brought that up to her during that time because it was just too foul to mention. One night, she called me and asked me if I can pick her up from a friend's house because she had too much to drink and couldn't get home safe, so I said okay. When we got to her house, she asked me to help her inside, and so I did and next thing you know when we are sitting on the couch her hands are in my pants, she pulled me into her bedroom, and we had sex for the first time. This was when I lost my virginity.
After this point her and I began to start sleeping with each other regularly and of course it made me love her more and more. I couldn't deal with the circumstance the way it was and so I got very serious with her and let her know I was not cool with what she's doing and that she would need to stop this madness. We got into a lot of arguments and fights about what she was doing and we fought and fought, until one day she suddenly out of nowhere came to me and said she "broke up" with the older guy. She told me she wanted to be official and be a real exclusive couple together with me. I felt this sigh of relief go through me, but also somehow it didn't feel as good as it could've or should've had I not known all these past issues about her.
Here we are suddenly an official couple, and I started realizing that I had this deep insecurity anytime she would say she wanted to go hang out with her girlfriends and "guy friends" to party. I wasn't into drinking and partying at that age and so I would always tell her no, especially if other guys are around, but she didn't care what I had to say and would do what she wanted anyway. When I would try to stop her, she would fight me and tell people that I was being controlling. I felt like I had no power and didn't know what to do because I always thought she will get drunk and do somethign with other guys and that scared the shit out of me.
Soon after I randomly met a girl at a friends house who took interest in me. One day just like that I decided to hang out with her and I ended up cheating on my GF with her. I regret that I did that but looking back on it, I feel like I did it because I was so insecure and upset deep inside at everything I was going through with my GF and her going out partying and drinking with other guys around that I just didn't care anymore and went with it. She eventually found out that I cheated, and demanded I end contact with that girl and I did. I saw that it actually hurt her and I apologized for it and luckily for me she forgave me despite showing serious displeasure. I explained to her that I messed up and I did it because I thought she was likely cheating on me anyways and I had a hard time getting over her past. We both agreed to move on from that. That was when I was 19 and it was the only time I ever cheated on her. I learned from that one mistake I made.
A few more years went by, and still she was giving me a very hard time when it came to going out drinking with her friends. I was working very long 16-hour days at that time, and it never sat well with me for her to go out and get drunk when I'm not present. We continued to fight and argue over this, and she simply never understood me on why I didn't want her to do this. I would do this because I knew that when she drinks, she's not herself at all. She becomes very flirty and inappropriate, and I didn't want that to happen if I'm not around to look after her and stop her from doing dumb shit. Either way, she would do it and ignore what I say. I got fed up with this and ended up breaking up with her. During this time of being broken up, I started trying to see other girls and despite meeting other women in platonic terms, my heart kept wanting her back. So after six months of being broken up, I went back to her and tried to talk to her to see if she wanted to get back together and try to have a fresh start. She immediately showed interest, but she said she had to let me know during the time broken up that she started seeing and having sex with someone else. Despite not offically being a couple at that time, it shattered me. Why? Because I couldn't believe that after everything we went through, she would just go and fuck another dude who was clearly exploiting her for sex. I know that because she dropped him in the snap of a finger to come back to me, so obviously there was nothing of substance there other than her avoiding being alone. I cried about it and ultimately accepted being together again.
Many years went by again and new problems came up, now she is comparing me and us to her friends and their boyfriends. Giving me a hard time that I don't buy her designer bags and spend money on expensive items for her. I would argue with her over this a lot because to me, it was just stupid to be buying junk like this when you don't have too much money to spare, especially at our age, but she didn't care. Every day was arguing and fighting and her putting me down simply for not buying her designer bags. This is when I began to notice that I was starting to get verbally abusive towards her with name calling, belittling and shaming for stuff she's done wrong. There were also many times where I would get physical with her too by grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her out of frustration during arguments because she would drive me insane with her words. I didn't know how else to express my anger so it always translated mostly into insults about her promiscuity and history. Anyway, eventually I got so fed up with her that I ended up telling her to take a hike and that I don't want to be with her if this is the type of person she's going to be by disturbing the peace in our household with constant comparisons to others. I didn't actually literally mean it when I told her to take a hike and leave and this is something I would often say when we would fight because when I'm angry I feel like I mean it but whenever I would calm down I knew I didn't want her to actually leave. She of course eventually took it literally, and when she did leave this time she immediately started seeing another guy. How did I know? I used 'find my phone' on her iPhone at that time to track her very strange movements and pulled up on her one day while she was with another man. The man shit himself when he seen me, kicked her to the curb and drove off while texting her to forget him. Her reason for doing this was, "you kicked me out, we are not together, and I don't want to be with you". All that just because I didn't buy her chanel and louis vuitton designer bags that her friends boyfriends were buying for them. Me being the low self-esteem insecure loser, I ended up trying to once again work things out with her and reconcile our relationship because I was afraid to lose her and be alone. It's embarassing to admit this but that's the truth.
Again more years went by and I had noticed that a depression and anxiety struggle I had over the years was starting to get pretty bad. Luckily in 2018 I was able to cure my depression in the Amazon Jungle of Peru by participating in several Ayahuasca ceremonies but unfortunately it didn't do anything to help my crippling anxiety. After that trip when I came home from Peru and she was again beginning to show signs of discontent by comparing me to other peoples boyfriends and was giving me a hard time every single day about stupid shit. She was telling me I don't do anything for her, despite over the years sending her on so many vacations with her friends and giving her thousands of dollars of spending money, bankrolling her business she started and so much more. I was taking so much of this from her on a daily basis that it was driving me insane to where I told her once again during the heat of an argument to take a hike if she thinks I'm so bad and of course she did just that. She never stopped to think of all the things that I have done for her but only seemed to focus on what I wasn't doing for her.
After she moved out we still talked regularly and I started noticing she was acting a bit weird. One night I asked her to go out for dinner and drinks and when we got back to the house she passed out drunk and so I went through her phone. I immediately went to her texts and found out she was seeing someone and the texts indicated it was potentially and most likely physical and so of course I lost my shit. I woke her up and confronted her about the texts and I will never forget the smirk she had on her face. I couldn't believe that once again she would do this and especially after fighting over dumb shit like comparing me to others. Everything I learned about this guy she was now seeing indicated she got with him because he appeared to have money. I felt this because she ridiculously and shamelessly stated she liked his Mercedes G-Wagon and all the comparisons to other people and the bad influences she had around her was obvious to me. Sadly, I again let myself down and begged her like a little bitch to stop talking to him and she was not wanting to this time. I was so fucking pathetic that I paid her a very very large six figure sum of cash to come back to me and to leave this guy. Before the cash offer she wasn't showing interest to come back but once I mentioned the money and bought her some jewellery, she suddenly was warming up to wanting to come back to me. I did, however, throw some contingencies in there that she had to come with me to Peru to participate in Ayahausca ceremonies because I felt like she had some serious internal issues and traumas that she also needed to sort out to change for the better. I felt like the reason she was always behaving so reckless and so concerned with other peoples lives and all these comparisons was because of some deep rooted traumas. I say this because she grew up without a father and without money so this is something I always considered about her and kept in mind. Participating in Ayahuasca circles really opened my eyes to trauma and behavior issues we humans have from stuff in our childhood so I knew all these messed up things she's doing stems from a root cause of something in her early life experience. It was certainly the reason why I needed healing because I had my own traumas from my childhood that was affecting my life and behavioir as well. Anyway, she hesitantly agreed and we went to Peru together. When we were in the jungle I felt her energy during one particular Ayahuasca ceremony and she seemed very scared and showing a side of her that I didn't see before. I knew right then and there that she is suffering from something in her soul that that she wasn't even aware of. I always did notice and pickup on her very serious lack of self awareness that she still seems to struggle with to this very day.
We got back home and everything seemed alright. I started noticing she was different in a way I hadn't witnessed before. Different in terms of her energy and her aura. One day she suddenly out of no where told me "after ayahuasca, looking back on myself, I feel like I was possessed by something very dark considering how I used to behave" .. She was referrng to her reckless beahvior and essentially saying she can't even believe her own past behavior and feels like she wasnt herself and now she is waking up and snapping out of it. I swear to god I cried tears of relief when she said this to me and I felt like maybe, just maybe we can have a normal life now. She also at this same time made a promise to me that she would never ever repeat those same behaviors again and that even if we were fighting one day and separated temporarily on a break for whatever reason, that she would give me the respect of letting me know before she talks to or dates any other men. Sounded very good to me of course.
Well, unfortunately Ayahuasca isn't a one trick pony and often times it requires many many ceremonies to fully heal deep rooted subconscious traumas and if you don't go back and finish what you started, you can slip back into old habits especially if you don't put in the work to change from the lessons you learn. I can only speak for myself and can say that I was still not doing too well with my anxiety and I wanted to go back to Peru again to do more work on myself. This time I left to Peru in 2021 and when I came back she was again suddenly being so nasty and mean to me when I was in an energetically sensitive state. Once again every single day back to comparing me to other men who shower their women with money and saying I never do anything for her like the entire past 17 years of everything I did for her, giving her cash, jewellery, vacations and cars all was nothing. The past didnt matter, it only mattered what I was doing for her in the moment. She drove me so insane for six months straight that one day I blew up and told her to either stop or get out. She decided to pack up and move out on her own. I tried to stop her but she didn't and she went anwyay. Some months went by and we would talk on the phone and she would tell me she realizes she has a lot of work to do on herself and that she is trying to heal herself. I told her great, I'm happy to hear that and I really did feel like maybe she might need this time alone to heal and it could possibly be what she needs. Well, unfortunately for me, she once again revealed to me a little over a month ago that she is talking to another man AGAIN and despite promising me she wouldn't do so without talking to me first, she did anyway. Her reason for breaking her promise is "were not together and I owe you nothing". She went as far as showing me text messages between her and this man from the USA and I asked her why she would rub that in my face and she said "I showed you that text so you can see that there are real men out there who wont just give bread crumbs to their woman". According to her, all I ever gave her was bread crumbs despite spending hundreds of thousands of dollars of my own money on her over the years, I am now being measured up with random men she met on dating apps. Here's the kicker, we dont live in the USA and she's been talking about wanting to move there for the last couple of years. Interesting how she now suddenly is speaking to a man online from there. You can draw your own conclusion on the motive for that.
The sad part of this all is that despite the resentment, I still love her......
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Well, there you have it. That's the story of my pathetic life. I imagine I will be shamed and told how much of a loser I am and I probably deserve it. Either way, I want to hear what some of you think.

Hello, bere with me this will be long...
Backstory with my family; I (25y M) , grew up as a military brat with one brother and mom and dad. My dad was always gone during the first 10 years of my life in Iraq and Afganistan. Year long deployments usually , and when he returned home it felt really awkward and we didn't talk... just kind of avoided each other. I never felt like he really liked me or my brother all that much. I made me unsure of how to act around older men for a long time... But from the perspective of a kid I thought him and my mom were like any other parents.
I didn't realize how him being in and out of my life effected me and my brother until we were older and out of the house. Constant moving to duty stations, starting over every 3 years, and an emotionally absent father can take a toll on a young boy. As a result I became very socially awkward and with guys and especially girls. To the point were I physically COULD NOT look people in the eye. Perhaps because whem my father would get mad he would stare at me in silence with a look that pierced my soul. It took years to hold eye contact with anyone (any body else have that problem?). My family is very awkward as well , my mom usually spoke for most of us in social settings , I guess my brother and I took after my dad's quiet demenour.
For me my childhood was best spent AWAY from home , usually crashing and my friends houses for days on end. If I was home , we all just kind of did our own thing in separate room... never ate together, at most watched TV sometimes. I spend most of my time locked away in my room once school got out or until I saw my friends again, same with my brother
Fast forward to turning 18, I enlisted in the army and got out of the house. Strangley enough my dad cried he day I left for basic , I guess I wasn't expecting much more than a goodbye hug. But that lead us to start talking more often than I ever had as a kid , which was kind of cool and also a little strange to get used to. After about 2-3 years of developing the relationship we never had , one day I get a phone call...
I thought it would be like our normal "how's life"? Or monthly chit chat we started doing. But OH NO... this wasn't that. He calls me and were talking like normal and he says "I'm glad we could bond over the past few years, I'm sorry I wasn't always there for you". I said "me too. And don't worry I've delta with it already". And he said "glad to hear , now can I trust you with a secret?". Didn't know what to expect... I said sure you can. "I'm going to divorce your mom in a few months , once you and your brother moved out it wasn't the same and I'm not happy".
Just silence... , what the he'll can a 20 year old guy who just recently formed a bond with his dad supposed to say??
To wrap the story up , no.. I didn't tell my mom. I was frozen with keeping his trust and our bond , but also not wanting to be the one to tell her. In the end , she found out I knew the two months before it happened and hasn't been the same since. She used to the mom who was the life of the party , but now she cries almost evryday since it happend (4 years now). She said she hated me for the first year . So that severed me and hers relationship and were just now starting to recover from it. I barely speak to my dad now , maybe 1 or twice every 3-5 months... that bond when down the funding gutter in the end lol..
On top of that , my dad moves back to his hometown where all his family lives. He told my brother he slept with like 12 women from dating apps (cool flex I guess) and is now engaged to a single mom with 2 teenagers. Apparently they go on vacations and hangout more than we ever did as a kid. Most days I really don't give a shit about any of it , but there's days (especially bad ones) were I consumes my thoughts and I feel like a piece of shit for never telling my mom and how his new family gets the dad I always wanted him to be. On top of if i had told her how things might have ended better. My dad also wants me to come visit and meet his new family eventually... fuck that... I'd be happy to never see them ever. So if you made it though all of that , AITA for telling my mom his plan?

I know we've all complained about how Spotify generates playlists, how their "shuffle" isn't a true shuffle, etc. But I have a gripe with one song in particular and want to know if I'm the only one.
My wife and I have fairly similar tastes in music for the most part, she's always been into punk, grunge, and more 2000s pop (MCR, Green Day, Nickelback, Matchbox20, Maroon 5, etc.) where I've always been a more indie and classic rock, folk, blues kinda guy (The Killers, Queen, David Bowie, Lumineers, Steeldrivers, Nathaniel Rateliff, etc.) but we both listen to whatever the other might be listening to in passing, no issues.
Recently (within the past 6 months or so) we've both noticed The Middle by Jimmy Eat World popping up in a lot of our generated playlists. And like yeah we might have listened to it once or twice here or there in the past, but for it to show up in an MCR radio? Or Queen radio? I'll be vibing to Under Pressure and suddenly, Jimmy Eat World!
Does anyone else have this issue? Did Jimmy Eat World strike a deal with Spotify á la U2's forced album download to Apple Music? Is there another very specific song that shows up in a majority of your radio playlists? It's driving us both crazy because no matter how many times we say we aren't interested in the song it inevitably comes up and we really wanna know if we're alone here or not.

God, how did this kid who survives off spaghetti and only plays league of legends and Overwatch get to be the smartest person I know. I don't think he deserves it. It's unfair that he's so smart but he had to go to the hospital for stomach ulcers for drinking only energy drinks for a week. It's unfair that I'm studying my ass off everyday for 2 hours and he can look at something for 5 minutes and just memorize it. How the average time to finish a course is 6 months and he does it in 3.
We're the same age and all he does is play video games and glides through school.
I'm jealous honestly, he has it so easy I try to think about it like a point system. He's a super unhealthy guy and at one point I was his only friend(we're both friends he's a cool guy but fucking still he's a super genius) he has no girlfriend he has an awful relationship with his family.
If I had to break it down his intelligence is 99, his health is 30, his strength 5, his relationships are 2, his social skills are 30(You either like him or hate him). He's able to catch up with someone with 2 years of experience in a month and surpassing him.
MY stats are a 50 intelligence, 80 health, strength 60, relationships 90, social skills 50(I don't talk much but if we talk you'll probably think it's pleasant)
He's a cool guy but it's hard not to get jealous when he gets shown a 20 step program and remembers it all verbatim. It's hard knowing no matter how hard I work in life I'll probably never get there and just because he was born with something I wasnt.

If adam sees this that would be cool. But anybody else interested in any mob interviews?
Adams talk with gang bangers about alleged bodies already. Seeing adam how he conducts the interview and how serious he will take it and how far he would press the questions to mob guys who have admitted to a bunch of bodies, makes for a good podcast I think.
And the mob guys are usually charismatic and love to talk about the life and some will even go into detail about the murders.
Dom cicale has done 2 murders in depth and has a bunch more stories he’s saving to tell on bigger platforms is what he says. I hope adam reaches out to him. He also says he wants bigger platforms to do interviews on and in exchange instead of cash payment for the interview he wants a few minute time slot to promote his own YouTube channel and his vodka company.
dom cicale who admitted to 4 or 5. John alite confessed to 7. Gene Borello is a fucking character and that would be a great interview if Adam has proper background info. Merlino is the alleged Boss of Philly according to the feds and allegadly has 11 bodies is what the feds say and he’s beat multiple fed cases along with a few bodies in his Rico. He also allegedly committed the only mob murder caught on tape according to the feds and also shot up Nicky scarfos son in a restaurant with Mac 11 machine gun.
Anybody else interested in these kind of interviews or wrong place for it?

Hey since some folks might not seen these cool covers of Jason songs.
This guy plays a few guitar covers, and has a lot of other Jason stuff on his channel I’ve never seen or heard before. He’s really good: https://youtu.be/RYRyJw30dDs?si=cFriBrzZ-j3oUsZ1
This kid totally kills it playing the drum part for She’s Not Enemy. I love Jason’s drumming anyway, and I’ve always thought this was an especially interesting and musical drum part. This video makes me so happy: https://youtu.be/wGxM_iii364?si=YgWsmCm0BgZVB0GS

I’ve never really posted on a forum but I just need to know if anyone else relates or has any type of insight/advice here. I will say that I have OCD, am AFAB, pansexual (20s) and I am set to see a trauma psychologist very soon.
I was very adamant with family about being seen as boys from some show but it was on and off. I remember having a crush on them but I can’t understand why I also wanted to be them. When I hit puberty I started pretending to be a guy where I felt safe enough to. I was okay to be a girl sometimes I feel like despite being unhappy with insecurities, but I had this inexplicable confidence when I was presenting myself as a guy. I am prone to both maladaptive daydreaming and dissociation, and I’ve been doing it all my life.
I had an upbringing that was extremely toxic so there’s no telling what has been pushed onto me. I have felt like a lot of the years of imagining myself as a male I both wanted to be and to be with was me trying to nurture some father wound, because I would imagine myself as a male nurturing the female version of myself, I just hardly knew her. I’ve rarely dissociated as a woman, but there are countless times where I’ll compare myself to women to see if I’m desirable in stereotypical ways.
I dated girls when I was younger and presented as a male, but part of me felt like I was so obsessed with being this cool, attractive guy that I put up a front. I felt I had to be tough and a certain way, so when I got so tired of being that, my feelings of masculinity would crumble and there was that vulnerable girl.
I chose to go by they/them, telling myself that I only wanted to be masculine presenting because I didn’t feel attractive as a woman. But somehow this desire keeps coming back. I see I have some gender dysphoria, but I keep feeling like I’m just faking everything and putting on a mask to feel better about myself.
I see my chest when I look masculine in the face and hair and I just kind of sigh but I’m not in distress. I think I would like to feel/do many things as a man, but I’m scared I’m mistaking this for something else underneath. If I could’ve been born a man I would be glad because then I’d have it all already and I guess maybe I’d be content, I don’t know. I know I feel disappointment and sadness with the idea that I possibly don’t really want to be one.
TLDR; I keep getting confused on whether me dissociating as a male character through my life is only because I find them attractive or I truly want to be male/masculine presenting. I feel different because it doesn’t always feel like my natural self, I just think I wish it was but I sometimes feel like I’m forcing.

A few days ago in posted something on there knowing i would get bad people to respond but i forgot how fucking crazy this world is. this guy who said his name was daniel started texting me and at first he seemed nice and cool said he could give me drugs and a place to stay if i worked for him so i agreed but little did i know this disgusting person wanted me to fuck his dogs and do a gangbang with a bunch of guys he knows and told me that he liked babies like.. fucking them... ik this is dumb asf but i still didnt leave or tell him anything cause i was either gonna run away or kms so how much worse could it get right? but he told me literally yesterday that he wanted me to "recruit" more girls 10-16 and sent me someones profile, he even called her prey. i dont know what got into me but i did it and after i felt so bad cause she was really nice and my age too so i told him he was a piece of shite and that he should die in a fire before also begging him to come back because i wanted to run away. please be weary of people that are nice especially men on here. anyways im gonna die next week on monday because i know i cant stop people like this and i feel so guilty for going along with him in the first place and for so long i had watched cp before too when i was 15 from my bf that was 39 and have been molested many times since i was 4. i have no one anymore not my mom not my sisters and not my friends especially if they knew the shit ive done ive sent him photos of my friends because he wanted to cum and he said some terrible shit about them talking about wanting to fuck minors and kidnap people and torture them. im done with this world i hope its better without me :)

Hello, I am 23(m) living in Pensacola. I am wokring on finishing my degree in business managment. I am currently looking for any interesting companies in Pensacola that may be hiring or just companys you find intersting in the area in general. Currently working and unfulfilling job and would rather hunt for something unqiue. Obviously this isnt a resume and im mostly just interested in finidng cool companies in Pensacola (hiring or not), it also does not need to be business related. Thanks guys.

Why did the farmer drive his tractor to the pharmacy? He wanted to visit the farm-assist!
Hi and welcome to my post! Wanted to start off with a funny to me dad joke.
Nice to meet you, I'm Dylan! To put it simple, I am a single 22 year old person who has been pretty lonely in life and lacking human connection. Any gender is welcome :) part of what comes with that is the desire to be intimate with a person. I am very mature for my age and will always be respectful of your boundaries and feelings, especially with anything sexual. Lately all I have is myself when it comes to sexual desires, so I would like to have someone to keep company with in that regard too. And I've also been fairly horny lately so perhaps if you are too we can help each other.
I'm just relaxing at work tonight as it's a slow day. Thinking about going home and burning a woodwick candle. I love candles! 🕯️ Sometimes a campfire outside on a fall night or a crackling WoodWick candle is a relaxing constant among our busy and hectic world. It's nice to just disconnect, feel grounded and happy in your own little cozy space. Feeling calm and collected and at peace. Something that fewer people take the time to do these days.
I am seeking a woman around my age or older to build a close connection with that could possibly lead to a something intimate which includes the possibility of teasing/sharing pics etc. but only when we were comfortable. Figured I would be open in my Intentions as that's the best way to be.
You:
Kind, respectful, and easy going.
Comfortable with the idea of eventually sharing intimate things together.
Willing to eventually move off of Reddit.
Want something genuine and fun!
Are honest in your intentions and a good person to be around!
That's about it, we will get along great I know it.
I've been feeling a little bummed out lately. I always try and stay happy and see the best in things. But.. I've just been so alone. Most of my whole childhood and adult years have been spent feeling lonely. I grew up surrounded by cornfields which was peaceful but also has a lonely aspect to it. My family never really were close and never did anything as a family really. And part of it too is the fact that I never had any neighbors my age to interact with. But aside from that, my adult life has been very lonely. I'm just always by myself. I barely have any meaningful adult relationships or experiences, or even any friends.
I work a 3-11 job in building maintenance at my company world headquarters building which I love, but again it's very lonely. I work the off shift so the building is always empty. I don't get normal social interaction with people my age or a chance to build relationships. I only have 3 older men as co-workers and we are mostly in the basement away from any people on the floors from knowing our existence. I always walk the floors and see office people laughing and chatting with their coworkers and I just don't have that kind of experience. And just.. no one knows I exist really. Everyone probably assumes I have a lot of friends, but I'm struggling inside with being so alone and trying to meet people and get past the "hi how are you?" "I'm good thanks" stage. Most people don't seem to want to talk beyond that. And most women are already in relationships and thus it would seem weird to approach them in an office setting trying to get to know them deeper. But man those "hi how are yous" are the only real interactions I get during my day.. so thus I decided to come here lol. Rant over, sorry! I promise I'm not a downer. 😅
Now for some things about me!
I am left handed which is pretty cool. I'm not much of a party person or a drinker, I much prefer a quiet night at home and maybe a beer or two on a weekend but that's about it. I am simple and stay out of drama and trouble and don't get much into politics or other things that cause drama with people. I much prefer a relaxing campfire and a night at home and to just let the world keep on turning haha.
Physically I'm 180 pounds, have brown hair, green eyes, and a typical build. There's a few pictures on my profile.
Some of my hobbies are:
• Photography
I have a Nikon D200 and D5500 that I love to shoot with. I love nature scenes, abstract, black and white/goth kinda photography, sunsets, etc. it's so fun to just let your mind explore. It's not about what camera you have, but those who are behind the camera!
• Cooking and baking
I loveeee to cook and bake! I enjoy making various meals but also love to just have a frozen pizza once in awhile or something like that. I recently made homemade chili which turned out great. I love to bake, especially in the fall! I love pies, cakes, pastries, cookies, etc. I restored a vintage KitchenAid mixer that needed tbe gearbox rebuilt. Eventually I would love to practice home canning my own food.
• Music
Oh my gosh, I like so much!! Alternative rock, punk, post punk, electronic, synth pop, psychedelic rock, hard rock, etc. I am very non judgemental and open when it comes to music. My three current favorite bands are Type O Negative, Joy Division, and the Cure.
• Nature walks and camping
I really enjoy camping, making fires, and relaxing by a campfire. I love to take walks outside and just enjoy the beauty and simplicity of nature. It's wonderful, especially in a world so focused on everything digital.
• Repairing things
I'm a maintenance guy and one of my hobbies is electronics repair so I am good with my hands and just all around good at troubleshooting and fixing all sorts of things around the house. Last week I helped my elderly neighbor get his tractor started, it needed a new component in the starting circuit. So I'm pretty handy which... Comes in handy! 😂
• Autumn 🍁
This isn't a hobby per say, but man do I love the fall!!! It's my absolute favorite time of the year. Oh my gosh. The beautiful colors, crisp cool air, misty and foggy days, rain, lack of bugs, being cuddled up with a candle or by the fire drinking a tea, etc. I love it! There's only two seasons for me. Fall, and waiting for fall! Haha.
• Scented Candles and incense
Going along with my love for fall, I absolutely love candles! I have like 30 something lol. 😂 Currently my favorite are WoodWick, which are owned by Yankee candle. They have such a soothing crackle and the scents are great! I also love to burn incense from time to time as well. I have cottagecore hippie vibes.
• Old houses and architecture
I love old houses! Especially 1900s and Victorian era homes. Old homes have so much character to them and are just so beautiful from a time when people took pride in their craft. I strongly dislike the modern cookie cutter cheap construction of homes today. I would love to live in an old home one day. I also love their architecture and uniqueness, as well as architecture of old cathedrals and other buildings.
• Relaxing
Basic I know, but sometimes on the weekend I just love to get cozy in bed and relax and put on a YouTube video or an album! 😊
That's about it for me, I'm a pretty laid back and simple person. My ideal person is someone who is respectful and honest! I am very straightforward and open minded and would hope that you are as well.
If I seem interesting to you at all I would love to hear from you!
Thank you so much for reading.

I've actually frequented this sub before just to read as at my current home we have lots of bats outside and my kids and I think they're cool, but now I have a question. Bare with my longwinded self.
We bought a home and closed on it about a week ago. My kids and I went and spent some time there wandering the house last Wednesday, saw nothing unusual. My oldest son is disabled so he stayed home but my youngest is 6 so if she definitely would have told me if she saw anything. My best friend stayed late into the night building furniture and then went home. She went back Thursday night and at around midnight texted me "THERE'S A BIRD FLYING AROUND IN THE HOUSE!" Needless to say it wasn't a bird, lol. My husband drove over and trapped the bat in a bathroom and we called animal control who said we will be right there and never came. My husband finally gave up and came home to our current home.
He went back the next morning with supplies to catch the bat and surprise, bat was gone. He's been at the house every day and night since (this was on Saturday morning) looking high and low, no bat. We had a company that specializes in bats come investigate our whole home today and found nothing. No entry points on the roof, chimney is airtight and the flue was closed. The attic was pristine with zero signs of any animals, however there are 5 vents in the attic that are not bat proofed (remedying that next week) AND the stupid appraisal company had left the large wall panel that screws on OFF of the wall.
Long story somewhat shorter, this guy could have taken a wrong turn into the attic vents and gotten lost or I guess could have just as easily gotten in while the sellers were moving out. No one is sleeping at the home so thankfully no exposures, but how long do I have to worry about my kids turning and corner and running into a bat?
Could he still potentially be hiding in the house? Did he crawl into a vent and die? Where's the damn bat guys. Where's the bat. 🤣 We won't be sleeping at the house for another 3 weeks but I would really love to not have to take anyone for rabies shots!

Long story short I gave this guy my number I barely knew but we saw eachother daily for like a year. I changed jobs.
Without fail, for the past 2 months, we have texted at least once a day. Actually, probably only once a day most of the time. Like one message bubble each.
Every time it's about how our days are. Like sporadically. Any time of the day, night, early morning, late night. We always try to respond. I would text more frequently but apparently he's out of service a lot. And he hasn't texted frequently to my frequent texts so I cooled it down, even though he said to triple text him whenever.
I have carried this conversation and tried to make it exciting. I have asked to go out 3 times in a very nonchalant way.
We have established we both don't know what we're looking for but at this point I'm looking for ANY insight into WHAT is going on. He literally only sends a few different variations of "how's your day. mine's good thanks for asking."
I don't believe I'm this guy's side anything. I have no clue any angle, if any, he could be playing at. I've given him every opportunity to ghost. And yet here we are. I just might be the one ghosting lol, if I weren't stubborn enough to see this thru because goddammit I gave this guy my number.
I have tried everything short of saying I want to smash and sending him a nude. Is someone this dedicated to just troll me like this 😭 Lol

i applied to work in Tilburg as a foreigner through the e&a agency and i'm terrified now. opinions by far were cool, but there was one about my working place and it said that men there at work ask for sex and molest you, are drunk all the times and that the coordinator does not help you because he's also drunk all the time and rude, and i'm so worried. do you think it's true? i'm a woman and i really don't want to work there if that's not false. some dutch guy also told me e&a is known in the netherlands for bad quality hotels. i'm scared of living with junkies and alcoholics too. i still didn't sign the contract so i have time to reconsider this decision. i come from poland btw. what do you guys think?

I was born with Exophoria. The muscles in my eyes are weak so when I cover one eye it drifts off. (I have it for both of my eyes). I can do it on command, sometimes it happens when i lay on one side of my head at night. I found this out at an early age. I’m sure all of you have watched the movie “IT”. Bill Skarsgard (the guy who plays pennywise) also has Exophoria so the eye thing he’s doing while acting is all real and not CGI. I personally think it’s cool. I show people all the time and they get creeped out. I plan on working at a haunted house so I can creep people out even more. I hope it doesn’t get stuck that way. Not sure how his developed but I count it as a talent.

Watching some videos today I noticed there's a new Strand rocket sidearm. That's so cool because it opens up our energy slot for whatever else we might want to use on it (for me personally it will probably be something with Heal Clip + Incandescent), not being limited to the arc version.
Any thoughs on how it might compare to Indebted Kindness? I doubt it will have better add clear potential due to not having Voltshot, but I'm sure it will see some use.
Perhaps Slice will be good on it, especially if paired with the new exotic chest for Titans since it will boost the rocket sidearm damage too! You go Thruster > proc Exodus Rockets (which deal awesome damage it appears) > and then proceed to murder everything, with the new rocket sidearm boosted by the exotic while also applying sever and thus generating tangles.
TLDR: strand rocket sidearm go brrrrrrrr

So my boyfriend(41M) and I (28F) have been dating for 4 months. We’re very serious and I love him. I feel like it was honestly love at first sight. Our lives work so well together, our goals and our children are all in align with what WE want. When I first met him he told me his ex wife left him 3 years ago, and he was heart broken the first year and the last 2 he’s just been openly dating not taking anyone serious. He talks about the divorce and heart break often, but I didn’t mind at first because it was me getting to know him, how he thinks, and learning about his emotions. Recently I got a feeling that maybe he wants her back since he talks about it so much. He instantly shot it down and told me yeah it wasn’t his decision to end their marriage and he feels that she was wrong for leaving him but that opened his eyes to what a bad person she was (through the divorce terms and the way she cares for the children now, or doesn’t for that matter :/)
So fast forward to now, he talks about us being married a lot.. like asking me when I feel is too soon.. how would much would I expect him to spend on a ring and the reception.. how would our lives be when permanently merging families into one house.. all of that and much more.
So today he tells me he recently met a guy through his mutual friends and they became friends on social media.. and he’s been giving the guy marital advice on what not to do with his wife based on the mistakes he feels like he made.. like it was ALOT. So much advice for a person you just met?? And it instantly DISGUSTED me and made me remember when he told me he felt like he did something right by being the first person in his generation of his family to be married and have a family and now that that’s gone after 13 years he feels like the rest of them. So now I feel like his goal is to use me right his wrongs.. Idk.. I wanna ask him, but it making me uncomfortable to try and voice that when I’ve never thought twice about voicing anything to him no matter the situation!

Hi guys! I've got a quick solar ITC accounting question i'm hoping you can help answer!
I've got a bunch of clients who have been inquiring about this. They are by in large, residential solar clients - but the question is: If they, wrap/own the solar project in an LLC, does the taxpayer status (now changed to the LLC), now make the solar project qualify for section 48, as opposed to 25D?
Section 25D states this as a solar qualified property -- "The term “qualified solar electric property expenditure” means an expenditure for property which uses solar energy to generate electricity for use in a dwelling unit located in the United States and used as a residence by the taxpayer."
The reason I'd like to know this is because we have clients who would like to transfer the tax credits under section 48, as they have no tax liability personally.
I know its not a difficult process/uncommon to have a solar project in an LLC, but the question is whether or not the LLC distinguishes the project separation enough from a perspective to not be construed with the "taxpayers" residence, to make it eligible for section 48, and then the transferability. Thanks in advance!

I wanted to preface this by saying this occurred 7-8 years ago, when I was a sophomore in high school, and im a much different person now and not proud of who I was. Even so, the events of that semester haunt me even today, to the point that it occasionally keeps me up at night, I feel like if I get some impartial judgement on the situation I may be able to resolve some of the lingering grief. I feel like all things considered my actions were justified, but of course you will always be the protagonist fighting off the antagonists in your own story.
So it started in February 2017. I entered into an alternative high school program in my county designed to give students who couldn't otherwise function in normal schools a second chance. I had missed a few weeks due to a hospitalization earlier that year, and while my teachers had been lenient, I was having a difficult time catching back up and it was decided by my school counselors that I would be an excellent candidate for transfer.
It started off really well, I immediately was making new friends, I felt refreshed and hopeful about my new school, I really liked all my teachers, things finally felt right for the first time in awhile. Then I met a boy who i'll call "T", he was pretty cool, easy to talk to, very friendly, overall welcoming and we became friends right off the bat. I decided to get involved in extracurriculars, and T was part of the schools forensics club, which I had an interest in, so I joined up. On the trip we exchanged phone numbers, and ended up flirting over text over the next couple weeks. Eventually he asked me out and I accepted, this is where it started going downhill.
I figured dating this guy meant we would spend more time together, so we could really get to know each other, I was mistaken. I asked him to eat lunch with me, he wasn't interested, he wouldn't walk me to class or really interact with me outside of the classroom and texting. On top of this I learned some information about him over text that I will still not share because this story is still recognizable by those involved but lets just say it was a major turn off for me, I ended the relationship quickly. After that "J" and "A" his two female besties, quickly entered the scene to make my life a living hell. The initial accusation was that I led T on, and that I was trying to control him by forcing him to eat lunch with me, the truth is, I just wanted something different than what he was offering. I even told him we could still be friends. Meanwhile I was in my promiscuous phase and had many non serious flings and sugar daddy's and whatnot, this was just a run of the mill whelp that didn't work out moment for me, I was ready to move on immediately. They were not.
Rumors quickly spread about me, about me being a slut, apparently I was a prostitute and everyone seemed to know except me, and honestly I was unbothered by this. The prostitute thing was untrue, though I absolutely accepted gifts from people I talked to online, and I kinda was a slut, to be fair, so, not exactly the reputation I wanted but things could be much worse. I still had my friends, and I poured myself into my studies and ignited a love for STEM that I still have today.
Then one by one my friends disappeared. I would see them talking with A or J or one of their misc. associates. I was confused, because I hadn't done anything to them. I tried to talk to them, but I was blocked or laughed at, the more I was mocked and ridiculed the less confident about that whole thing I became. It wasn't just my current friends though, A kept tabs on who I was trying to befriend and snatched them up before I could clear the air. This happened with a couple people, but one in particular really hurt, i'll come back to him in a bit. I still had my best friend "M" who I had known years prior to coming to the school, she stuck around the longest, but eventually she started dating a guy from that clique, I was completely alone.
Meanwhile I was getting sneered at and laughed at, and whispered about, I would see girls I didn't know except through association with A and J who would point at me when they thought I couldn't see, and they'd lean into their friends to quitely gossip behind their hands. I tried not to see it, I found myself staring at the floor a lot.
I ended up talking to A and J and asking them to stop, I told them they were being immature (which in hindsight fanned the flames) there was no ceasefire. I ended up going to the school counselor who basically told us to be nice and did nothing to help. I talked to her 1 to 1 and explained the situation and she shrugged it off. I was growing increasingly desperate for support I wasn't receiving. I started to notice an impact to my grades, I was depressed, I couldn't focus, I was randomly tearful. I started eating lunch in a random corridor away from my peers. I wish I could have disappeared completely.
Then one day a boy transferred in from another school, a teacher asked for a volunteer to give him a tour of the building, I was chosen. His name was S. Talking to him was like a breath of fresh air, we hit it off quickly, I was so relieved to finally made a friend. We connected over history, he was a nerd like me and funny too. I went home that day and cried joyful tears, I was so excited to see him again the next day in first period, and when I walked into the room and saw A, J and him sitting together, my stomach hit the floor, we made eye contact and he just frowned and shook his head. I went to my desk and just put my head down and cried. At this point I didn't care if I was seen or not. This is the one that really got me.
A few weeks passed by, I was quietly working in biology class and I heard a dude call my name across the room, he said "OP, "D" thinks your cute!" and the group of guys laughed, I motioned the guy over, and gave him my number, I didn't have any interest in dating the guy but I really really wanted someone to talk to me. It wasn't even two hours before he was hitting it off with A.
At lunch time I went to a different counselor, one who showed more empathy to my situation. She told me I could stay in her office the rest of the day. 4th period came around and I was reeling in my head, I felt like I was a cornered animal, I was desperate for something to change. When she stepped out for a meeting I marched myself up to Spanish class, Which I shared with A, J, T, and S. I cracked the door and asked if I could speak with A in the hallway. I had the perfect speech planned, I had rehearsed a million times, that teacher said no. I told her it was incredibly important, she told me no and to get out. I looked at her, I looked at A, I stepped toward her and before I knew it she had a fist full of my hair, she was hitting me in the head while J grabbed my arms, I broke free and shoved J hard, and started punching A back but couldn't gather the momentum to do any damage as she still had my hair. The teacher who was 6 months pregnant tried to step in, I was so disoriented I shoved her away with my elbow. A male teacher came in and pulled us apart. I looked around at several cameras, faces of disgust. Sam looked at me and said "what the fuck is wrong with you?" I took my bags, and ran out into the hallway, down the stairs and was almost out of the building when the principal stopped me. I was suspended for a week.
My mom picked me up and I told her everything. We decided I would be withdrawn and I would be homeschooled the rest of high school. I eventually got my GED. I mellowed out, met my husband, and now we have a sweet baby boy. For some reason though, my heart can't handle what happened, even still it plays on a loop in my head. Everything I never got to say is still in my throat and has been since that day. Im hoping sharing this will finally put all that to rest. I want to move on, truly.
AITA?

1. i am absolutely dumbfounded at the sam altman hate. before nov. 2022, most of y'all didn't even know the guy. now he is public enemy number one in the ai/tech world?
   
2. ilya sutskever is a p****. how are you that damn smart & that damn dumb at the same time? you are on the road to creating a god, you have to play the capitalistic game. how many of you are making ai startups, products or just everyday solutions using ai? is this free? NO.
   
3. acceleration is good. as an american, i genuinely fear dictators or terrorist organizations with god level ai. i also fear working my ass off for the next 40-50+ years of my life and when i am retirement i don't want ai to fully automate most/all jobs. i want that as soon as possible because wtf did i just work for? for fun? to not be bored?
   
4. to come into immense power, you have to control it, maintain it, & keep that power sustainable. yes, it is very clear sam altman understands power structures and is machievellian. same with politicians, other founders & ceos, kings, priests, and even higher ups at your local job. there is no way you are malding because mr. altman reads history and understands power. warren buffett is mega rich because he played the long term game, made the long term investments, compounded his stocks, and got his money right. sam altman and the openai team are doing the same thing. they have pioneered a pipe dream to full ledge reality.
   
5. i absolutely hate to get political but the liberal agenda is an echo chamber. ai is new, hype and scary. if i am a media person, i want sam's head so my media company controls the narrative around ai, not the leading ai companies, certainly not sam altman.
   
6. sam altman is gay. hello? not even into this pride s*** but that's a legendary figure for that subset of people in a position of high power. absolutely nothing wrong with that just odd how the same media that promotes this agenda to children (and y'all are somehow okay with that) will s*** on his face. that is the most demonic two faced thing i have ever seen.
   
7. agi as biological warfare.
   

google deepmind is heavily focused on science based ai. i can imagine all the amazing discoveries and potential catastrophes that could occur. i don't trust demis hassabis, i don't trust sundar pichai, i don't trust sam bankman fried's backed anthropic, i don't trust google. yet this is the real threat here! covid-19 is not a natural evolutionary strand of virus. now multiple that by instant death by synthetic pathogens. how many viruses do you think could kill you instantly? probably an uncountable number.

1. AGI is a capitalistic based race. i don't need a white, asian, latino, black AI. i need facts, objective and grounded reality. google has an obvious liberal agenda, and it has seeped into their ai products. wtf?!?! get that s*** out of here please. i don't want to talk to white martin luther king jr. sundar.
   
2. "According to Tocqueville, equal social conditions serve to foster and shape the human passions in ways that may not be compatible with freedom."
   

“A society that puts equality before freedom will get neither. A society that puts freedom before equality will get a high degree of both.” “One of the great mistakes is to judge policies and programs by their intentions rather than their results" - milton friedman

1. religious cult activities

when people like the deceased leader of hamas says, "we want to kill all americans and all non believers" it is hilarious. when god level ai is true, this could be an ai action by "divine will/justice" making it more of a reality. same could be said for all religions and spiritual beliefs. there is a common pattern and it's leaving a religion is exile and possibly punishable by death. so when allah ai is real, it might literally kill you if you don't believe. anthropic's "constitutional" ai structure allows for this to happen. anthropic gives the quran as the constitution and now we are all f***ed.

1. if you hate sam altman and use openai products, STFU! if you hate sam altman and use other ai products, why are you using less advanced AI? you are only hurting yourself. game is game and openai won. period. but all of you are killing progress by finding every tiny error and going crazy over it.
   
2. sam altman being fired
   

possibly will go down as one of the top tier brain dead moments of all time, it shows the capitalistic value of ai makes people work and perform exceedingly well. if your company was worth $100,000,000 per person, out of 800+ people, how would you react? mope on twitter that your alignment team got disbanded? boo hoo, you were in the damn way. this s*** is not a game, and if you lack, you lose. literally proven by the idiocracy from both google and elon musk quoting, "ai is moving too slowly". no, your foresight is just dogs***. also ray kurzweil works at google so how are you going to deny agi before gpt2 even came out when the goat of foresight is on your team? and than you liberalize your ai systems when the reality is closer than ever? it's truly beyond me.

1. if you are team human, support openai & sam altman. if you are pro liberal ai god, use your '1984' google machine. because that is the reality you are going to get. so f*** you for f***ing us all. you thought sam altman was manipulative when all of media is team google, their actual ai systems came with a political agenda (which is extremely dangerous no matter what party or government affiliation you have).
   
2. rene girard's mimetic theory is correct. sam altman and openai were the mimetic catalyst, everyone else is mimetically following their own desire literally imitating openai bar for bar. now we are on the scapegoating phase. "sam altman is manipulative, sam altman is in it for the profit, sam altman lied about his monetary affiliation with openai". ok? and nancy pelosi isn't manipulative, or uses the media to create her image the way she wants? this is textbook scapegoating.
   

the last phase: violence
everyone wants to build agi now and they want their agi to be the one to rule them all. i don't see silicon valley losers starting a literal war but i see countries fighting for power everyday. i can't even imagine post-agi future but i 100% want openai to be the first and they will.

1. f*** yann lecunn. it's cool you open source your models but teams of 5 people are beating your trillion dollar company. you pioneered selling your soul in the ai space congrats 👏

edit: yall some world record paced speed readers. nice!

So with me buying a 6800, my PC is obviously running way hotter and its time to put my parts in a case that isnt the nzxt h510 ( yeah i know lol). to be fair, when I had a 6600 xt, it didnt run hot. So ive done a bit of research and I know that you guys are probably gonna tell me for the most part that cases im gonna say are all solid options, but I just wanna to make sure and see if there is actually much different.
CORSAIR 4000D - I know this is a pretty popular one and for 90 dollars on amazon its not a bad deal
NZXT H7 Flow - Literally my current Case but with actual vents and airflow . My question tho....there is the h5 version and i was wondering if they are basically the same case? considering the H7 is a few dollars cheaper
Thermaltake Ceres 300 - Cool looking design, but i dont know if its the picture but doesnt this case seem small no?
So the two cases im going back and forth are between the h7 and the 4000D considering they are both 90 dollars, thoughts?