I am an AP who has been dating my FA for about a year and a half. The first 8 months were great, we eventually started talking about our future and planning out our life together (as recent as even two weeks ago). Last September and October he had a lot of life events that caused him to get really overwhelmed and shut down and shut me out for a weeks length of time, three separate times. We eventually worked through that and I told him that if that were to happen again I would have to leave the relationship, because while I do respect his space, it was really really hard for me to take the anxiety it gave me.
Things have slowly started to repair and he has been making noticeable differences about being better at making time and communicating with me more. However, he's not perfect and slips up occasionally on answering texts in a reasonable amount of time, feeling too overwhelmed to hang out etc.
With that being said, l've had a lot of life changes since January that have made me more anxious and dependent on him and I have found myself suddenly critiquing him every time a minor slip up happens. We had plans this past Monday and he cancelled because his friend was having a mental health crisis and he cancelled on me last minute to go help his friend. Normal me would be rational and understanding of this, but I reacted poorly because it had been a week since i'd seen him since he was out of town over the weekend prior and I hadn’t really talked to him much while he was gone.
My poor reaction caused him to shut down and me to feel immediate guilt and disappointment with myself for responding harshly, especially because he had been very kind and apologetic about the situation. He sent me a long message and the synopsis is: he's feeling very discouraged, he knows my needs aren't too much but he's having a hard time meeting my standards all the time, he feels like a failure / bad boyfriend, he feels like he's trying his best and it's never good enough, he doesn't want to lose me, but it's feeling inevitable to him at this point + sometimes he wonders if he would be happier if I just broke up with him so he wouldn't have to feel like he was disappointing me all the time. He said he can't have yet another talk about what he's doing wrong, how to fix it and the consequences if he doesn't fix it.
Needless to say, this made me feel horrible. I hate that this has become the pattern and I don't want him to feel that way because I do love him. Since he sent that message to me last Wednesday, he's ignored my couple of texts I sent on Thursday and then I decided to give him space after that and as of now (Sunday) I still haven't heard from him. I want to reach out to him so bad, but I wonder if that's not the best course of action here. This is the longest we've gone without talking since last year and I miss him and feel horribly and I don't know what to do.
My friends are fearful he's slipping back into his old ways of coping with things and that scares me too, but I'm now feeling discouraged by their apprehension to him now stonewalling me
TLDR: Have a past of FA boyfriend disappearing when things get hard, things have been slowly getting better, but as a AA I found myself being too critical and now he’s stonewalling me, I’m scared and don’t know how to fix it.
I love him so much, I feel horrible and I just want to make this work. Any comments, advice, etc. would be helpful-please just try to be kind as I'm having a really difficult time.

Hi!
I start by saying that I love and trust my boyfriend completely. We've been together for 2 years now. We live in different cities, 3h drive. We meet 2-3 times a month, but text almost every half hour and both are still very in love with each other (maybe even more than before). It's my first real relationship and I've never felt so happy in my life.
In the past I've been hurt (emotionally) by a few guys - they told me I'm theirs only and then later I found out that they secretly sent pics and flirty texts with many other guys (and went to gay bars and found people there etc etc, you all know the basic cheating thing...)
My boyfriend is a cute nerd, a bit shy and doesn't go out much. Now he's starting going out with work friends (girls) and to gay clubs to dance and have a drink. We have Snapchat live location ON (he suggested that so I wouldn't worry). That's all fine, I'm glad he's socializing.
But since I've been hurt in the past and an emotional guy then now I've become quite jealous and a big overthinker... What if my bf is actually sexting with other guys he found at a gay club or what if he's secretly on Grindr, what if there's one dude who knows how to charm etcetc. I feel so stupid...
Now a few days ago he went to sleep and forgot his phone unlocked. Now I'm a jerk for doing this next thing but... I checked his phone. No Grindr, no dating apps. On Messenger there were chats with family and friends. Same with Snapchat. Until... I found that he was texting two guys time to time (they're gay, I saw both of them on Grindr years ago) on Instagram, reacting to their storys (which is fine) but then also sending them some gay memes/content (ex: Romeo & Liam playing around on Insta, some top-bottom jokes) and the other way around. And I scrolled up and saw this message from one of the guys to my boyfriend: "I know you're in a relationship. But if u ever wanna fool around, u can turn to me." My bf replied: noted, but I have a boyfriend (and no more messages that day/night). I also found that same guy replying to a hot gay joke my bf sent him: "You know how I feel about you, I would drool" or something. And a few weird things like that as well. But they also chatted about some video game and some random normal stuff, nothing flirty.
I asked my boyfriend in the morning who is that guy and if they're talking on Insta (didn't tell him I looked through his dm's...). He said that this dude has tried hitting on him but my bf told him to calm down and stop. Which was all true. So basically my boyfriend told me that yes there is this guy and they don't meet irl and text few times a month (but actually few times a week, very little conversation tho, but still enough to make lose my mind...).
So now I'm really broken... My overthinking has gone worse. I'm scared when he's going out in the future. I... I don't know 😣 I can't ask him to stop texting people, I don't want to be that controlling toxic boyfriend. I'm afraid of losing him and you know what they say: "If you keep thinking about something it might eventually happen if you think enough..." It scares me...
What should I do, how should I control my thoughts, should I ask my bf something? I beg for advice, please, how can I calm myself down?
TL;DR;: This is a sample summary of the TLDR rule, all things are bold. Is this going the right way?.

Aitah for cheating on my wife when I thought she cheated on me?
I'm M57 and my wife, let's call her Jane for privacy reasons is F45. Jane and I had been married for twelve years, within our first year of being married we had two beautiful boys, twins, Jake and Sam.
Jane and I met at an annual work party during Christmas time. She was the new hire who didn't have many friends or anyone to talk to. I started paying her more attention, by the end of the night we hit things off pretty well. We started dating a month or two after, casual dating nothing more. It started getting more serious as time went on, one thing led to another and I was down on one knee and she said yes.
Jane grew up on the farms with her dad and brothers so we decided it would be nice to have the ceremony in one of her old barns. We did it up nicely with lights and decorations. I felt like the luckiest man alive. Soon came Jake and Sam. As we weren't expecting twins it was definitely a shock, nonetheless we loved them both. I felt like such a proud father, taking them on strolls in the pram to walks in the park, soon enough I was taking them to soccer games and movie theatres.
After about six years after our boys were born, I noticed a shift in Jane's mood. She no longer liked getting into it when the boys were asleep. She was never home, which was odd to the fact she worked less hours than me. She was always at a yoga class or a friends tea party. All these excuses she had made up made me feel like something more was going on.
I tried ignoring it and focusing on work, as the last thing I'd want it to be was cheating and breaking our family up. I didn't want to believe she could do such a thing. On November 1st, she told me she'd be home early, it was our anniversary. She had a day out with her friends in the local garden centre. I started getting worried when it hit 6pm. Who can look at plants and drink coffee for 9 hours? Not Jane, she gets bored of activities an hour or less in. I assumed maybe she's picking up a nice bottle of wine or something after, but the selection isn't big in the town we live, surely it wouldn't take her long.
I left her some calls, messages even sat on the front porch waiting for hours. It wasn't until Jake came out saying he had a nightmare to when I went back inside. I ended up falling asleep with Jake as I read him a bedtime story. The next morning when I woke up, Jane was in our bed, her clothes scattered all over the room like she was trying to play the floor is lava with her cashmere jumper and denim trousers.
Confused, as anyone would be, I headed to her side and gently shook her away. I'm not the sort of man to start arguments, nor do I like them. I'm not a fan of conflict. I felt as if accusing her of cheating was the worst thing I could ever possibly do. Yet I went ahead and asked her to which she declined and yelled at me for even thinking it.
I felt horrible about myself, like I had just lost her with that question. After that I started relying on work to get me by, it was something to distract my thoughts. Jane became more distant, even if she was home, she'd either be on her phone or the laptop, both to which she changed the passwords on. I'd never be the one to snoop at her phone. The only reason we had each other's phone passwords was for emergency, and well the laptop was actually mine for work. It was my at home computer when covid happened. I don't use it as much now, just a couple games online when I'm bored, yet Jane took it over, changed the passwords and reset the whole thing.
It didn't really matter to me as I never used it, it just made my stomach drop. What if she was hiding something from me? I felt guilty asking myself that question every time she did something odd. Whether it was telling me to sleep on the sofa or to work longer hours. There was a change in her and it wasn't just me that noticed it, Jake and Sam did too. They were too young to understand why mommy didn't want to hang out with them anymore.
I decided to stop trying with Jane, to focus my work hours on work, get a baby sitter for the weekdays and on weekends I'd always take my boys out to fancy restaurants and fun things they'd enjoy. Jane didnt like that. She didn't like it when Sam said the two of them prefer me.
It started an argument between Jane and I, the first conversation we had in months. She told me it was my fault, that she knew I was trying to be their favourite to get back at me.
I didn't know what she meant, infact I was done, our marriage was over, but I needed to salvage it for the kids. My parents divorced when I was ten. It's a horrible experience for anyone of any age. My dad acted like it was my fault. He'd always send me off to mom's house then when I come back he'd act like I wasn't even there. Mom however, tried winning my love with money. Buying me the latest xbox games, consoles, a new phone. Whatever it was, she got it for me. I never asked, never asked her for anything, she'd just show up and shove it in my face as she stood at the door to dad's house with me before passover.
I didn't want my boys feeling upset, angry, thinking its their fault, I needed to stay with Jane till they were old enough to be able to manage their emotions.
Then came along another woman. It had been three years since I asked Jane if she was cheating. For privacy reasons, I'll change her name. F50, her name was Lucy. She was our new neighbour, moved in with her elderly mother. I met her first in the local library as I was picking up some books for myself. She was there signing in for a book card. I introduced myself, told her she's welcome to the block, a formal and nice welcoming. I seen her every Thursday at the library, she'd either be writing, reading or just looking at the bookshelves. Over time we started having some conversations. She knew I was married with kids. The longer this friendship went on, I opened up to her about Jane and I. Something I hadn't told anyone.
She was really supportive, was really there for me. It was comforting to say the less. As time went on, we started hooking up, going on dates and seeing each other on days that weren't only Thursdays.
Lucy was a kindhearted person, she even had her mother take care of my kids for free on weekdays. I felt bad when she said she'd do it free of charge, that she missed when her kids were young. We made a deal, I'd cook her my famous pasta bolognase and she'd mind my kids. Occasionally Lucy would bring Sam and Jake out when her mother was feeling too tired. She'd bring them to the zoo, the ice rink or even out for a day of shopping. I really started to fall in love with her, I don't know if I should have felt guilty about her, having a wife. But I didn't. I felt as if our marriage was over without the documents to show.
Things were going good till one day I was in a rush for work, Lucy had the keys to my house, only for emergency. I would never of taken her home.
I told her to just go inside, the kids lunches are already packed and to just drive them to school. She did what I said however one thing neither of us expected was Jane to be home. As my wife answered the door, I couldn't even imagine what Lucy felt. She said she was the new baby sitter. When I came home that night, I dropped in some pastries to Lucy and her mother then headed home. Jane sat at the kitchen table, a portion of bolognase infront of her, untouched, steaming hot.
She didn't speak for minutes, it felt like hours. I knew I had to tell her, tell her everything.
I began with knowing she cheated on me, how it made me feel, the kids feel. She watched, with zero emotion on her face. Her hand swinging her wine glass around before she'd take a sip.
She laughed, and laughed. She didn't stop. Infact as she stood up, she threw the boiling hot plate at me, to which I had dodged.
She didn't cheat, infact there was a reason she was distant. My wife was graped numerous times in three days by her coworker. My best friend, M52, John. John had too became distant, I guess I thought he was busy.
I fell back, kneeling on the floor as I heard the kids waking up upstairs. My wife stood still, tears in her eyes as she yelled, how I cheated on her when she was graped.
I felt miserable, there's no work in the dictionary that could muster up how I genuinely felt in that moment. Jane and I filed for divorce two months later. She didn't want the boys. I took them. She wanted far from me, from this house. She moved in with her dad back at the farm while Lucy and her mother moved in with me and the boys.
AITAH?
(Edit: a lot of people are being negative in the comments of this story. I would like to of clarify that this is not my story, I am sent these, I copy and paste. English is also not my first language so I apologise, I am learning better now)

Hi! I start by saying that I love and trust my boyfriend completely. We've been together for 2 years now. We live in different cities, 3h drive. We meet 2-3 times a month, but text almost every half hour and both are still very in love with each other (maybe even more than before). It's my first real relationship and I've never felt so happy in my life.
In the past I've been hurt (emotionally) by a few guys - they told me I'm theirs only and then later I found out that they secretly sent pics and flirty texts with many other guys (and went to gay bars and found people there etc etc, you all know the basic cheating thing...)
My boyfriend is a cute nerd, a bit shy and doesn't go out much. Now he's starting going out with work friends (girls) and to gay clubs to dance and have a drink. We have Snapchat live location ON (he suggested that so I wouldn't worry). That's all fine, I'm glad he's socializing.
But since I've been hurt in the past and an emotional guy then now I've become quite jealous and a big overthinker... What if my bf is actually sexting with other guys he found at a gay club or what if he's secretly on Grindr, what if there's one dude who knows how to charm etcetc. I feel so stupid...
Now a few days ago he went to sleep and forgot his phone unlocked. Now I'm a jerk for doing this next thing but... I checked his phone. No Grindr, no dating apps. On Messenger there were chats with family and friends. Same with Snapchat. Until... I found that he was texting two guys time to time (they're gay, I saw both of them on Grindr years ago) on Instagram, reacting to their storys (which is fine) but then also sending them some gay memes/content (ex: Romeo & Liam playing around on Insta, some top-bottom jokes) and the other way around. And I scrolled up and saw this message from one of the guys to my boyfriend: "I know you're in a relationship. But if u ever wanna fool around, u can turn to me." My bf replied: noted, but I have a boyfriend (and no more messages that day/night). I also found that same guy replying to a hot gay joke my bf sent him: "You know how I feel about you, I would drool" or something. And a few weird things like that as well. But they also chatted about some video game and some random normal stuff, nothing flirty.
I asked my boyfriend in the morning who is that guy and if they're talking on Insta (didn't tell him I looked through his dm's...). He said that this dude has tried hitting on him but my bf told him to calm down and stop. Which was all true. So basically my boyfriend told me that yes there is this guy and they don't meet irl and text few times a month (but actually few times a week, very little conversation tho, but still enough to make lose my mind...).
So now I'm really broken... My overthinking has gone worse. I'm scared when he's going out in the future. I... I don't know 😣 I can't ask him to stop texting people, I don't want to be that controlling toxic boyfriend. I'm afraid of losing him and you know what they say: "If you keep thinking about something it might eventually happen if you think enough..." It scares me...
What should I do, how should I control my thoughts, should I ask my bf something? I beg for advice, please, how can I calm myself down?
TL;DR;: This is a sample summary of the TLDR rule, all things are bold. Is this going the right way?.

So it´s been a while since I built a new PC.. Really long and even longer since I used all AMD. I´m not into OC in regards that I now chase numbers even if I at one point did. Now i just wanna make the most of what i have. I have been changing stuff around slowly but since it´s an AMD and im not that up to date I was woundering if i missed something that could be better in terms of settings? Im not sure about the FCLK and feel i can push it more but havent had the time mto test it. I went from 23.8k in Timespy to a bit above 27k. AIDA seems to be as bad at benching as several years ago but its showing latency at 66.6ns wich feels really bad? Linpack at standard 3gig and 4 runs shows 393.046 in average. Not that great it feels like?
I do run all test with torrent, some chrome windows and wallpaper-engine running. Specs are: AMD Ryzen 7 7800X3D ASUS TUF GAMING RX 7900 XT OC ASUS ROG STRIX B650E-F GAMING WIFI DDR5-6000 KINGSTON CAS 30 (Hynix) 2x16 running at 6200.
And here is a wall of text...
Ai Overclock Tuner [DOCP II]
DOCP [DDR5-6000 30-36-36-76-2N-1.40V-1.40V]
BCLK Frequency [100.0000]
Memory Frequency [DDR5-6200MHz]
FCLK Frequency [2067 MHz]
ASUS Performance Enhancement [Disabled]
Core Performance Boost [Auto]
Tcl [30]
Trcd [36]
Trp [36]
Tras [28]
Trc [58]
Twr [48]
Refresh Interval [65535]
Trfc1 [466]
Trfc2 [480]
Trfcsb [390]
Trtp [12]
TrrdL [8]
TrrdS [4]
Tfaw [20]
TwtrL [16]
TwtrS [4]
TrdrdScl [Auto]
TrdrdSc [Auto]
TrdrdSd [Auto]
Trdrddd [4]
TwrwrScl [4]
TwrwrSc [Auto]
TwrwrSd [Auto]
TwrwrDd [Auto]
Twrrd [4]
Trdwr [16]
IBUF_LPWR_MODE [Auto]
ADDR_CMD_MODE [Auto]
M_ORDERING [Auto]
S_COL_WIDTH [Auto]
MC_SVA_TRIM0 [Auto]
MC_SVA_TRIM1 [Auto]
MC_SVA_TRIM2 [Auto]
MMCM_MULT_F [Auto]
Proc CA Drive Strength [Auto]
Proc Data Drive Strength [Auto]
CPU On-Die Termination [Auto]
DRAM Data Drive Strength [Auto]
Rtt Nom Wr [Auto]
Rtt Nom Rd [Auto]
Rtt Wr [Auto]
Rtt Park [Auto]
Rtt Park Dqs [Auto]
Power Down Enable [Disabled]
Memory Context Restore [Disabled]
UCLK DIV1 MODE [UCLK=MEMCLK]
CA Tx Phase Shift Clk [Auto]
CS Tx Phase Shift Clk [Auto]
CK Tx Phase Shift Clk [Auto]
CA Rx Phase Shift Clk [Auto]
CS Rx Phase Shift Clk [Auto]
CK Rx Phase Shift Clk [Auto]
FIFO Wr En Fine Delay [Auto]
POC Sample PD [Auto]
Bank Swap Mode [Auto]
Mem Over Clock Fail Count [Auto]
Medium Load Boostit [Auto]
Precision Boost Overdrive [Enabled]
Precision Boost Overdrive Scalar [Auto]
CPU Boost Clock Override [Auto]
Per-Core Boost Clock Limit [Auto]
Platform Thermal Throttle Limit [Manual]
Platform Thermal Throttle Limit [89]
Curve Optimizer [Per Core]
Core 0 Curve Optimizer Sign [Negative]
Core 0 Curve Optimizer Magnitude [25]
Core 1 Curve Optimizer Sign [Negative]
Core 1 Curve Optimizer Magnitude [25]
Core 2 Curve Optimizer Sign [Negative]
Core 2 Curve Optimizer Magnitude [30]
Core 3 Curve Optimizer Sign [Negative]
Core 3 Curve Optimizer Magnitude [30]
Core 4 Curve Optimizer Sign [Negative]
Core 4 Curve Optimizer Magnitude [30]
Core 5 Curve Optimizer Sign [Negative]
Core 5 Curve Optimizer Magnitude [30]
Core 6 Curve Optimizer Sign [Negative]
Core 6 Curve Optimizer Magnitude [30]
Core 7 Curve Optimizer Sign [Negative]
Core 7 Curve Optimizer Magnitude [30]
CPU Load-line Calibration [Level 3]
CPU Current Capability [120%]
CPU VRM Switching Frequency [Auto]
CPU Power Duty Control [Extreme]
CPU Power Phase Control [Extreme]
VDDSOC Current Capability [120%]
VDDSOC Switching Frequency [Auto]
Performance Bias [Auto]
Clock Spread Spectrum [Auto]
1.8V PLL Voltage [Auto]
1.8V Standby Voltage [Auto]
Misc_ALW [Auto]
Chipset 1.05V [Auto]
CPU SOC Voltage [Auto]
CPU VDDIO / MC Voltage [Auto]
VDDP Voltage [Auto]
High DRAM Voltage Mode [Auto]
DRAM VDD Voltage [1.40000]
DRAM VDDQ Voltage [1.40000]
PMIC Force Continuous Current Mode [Auto]
PMIC Voltages [Sync All PMICs]
SPD HUB VLDO (1.8V) [Auto]
SPD HUB VDDIO (1.0V) [Auto]
Memory VDD Voltage [1.40000]
Memory VDDQ Voltage [1.40000]
Memory VPP Voltage [1.80000]
Memory Voltage Switching Frequency [Auto]
Memory Current Capability [Auto]
Security Device Support [Disable]
Firmware TPM switch [Enable Firmware TPM]
Erase fTPM NV for factory reset [Enabled]
Password protection of Runtime Variables [Enable]
PSS Support [Disabled]
NX Mode [Enabled]
SVM Mode [Disabled]
Above 4G Decoding [Enabled]
Resize BAR Support [Enabled]
SR-IOV Support [Disabled]
Legacy USB Support [Enabled]
XHCI Hand-off [Enabled]
USB Mass Storage Driver Support [Enabled]
U32G2_C3 [Enabled]
U32G2_2 [Enabled]
U32G1_E1 [Enabled]
U32G1_E2 [Enabled]
U32G1_E3 [Enabled]
U32G1_E4 [Enabled]
USB5 [Enabled]
U32G2X2_C1 [Enabled]
U32G2_C10 [Enabled]
U32G1_8 [Enabled]
U32G1_9 [Enabled]
U32G2_11 [Enabled]
USB_15 [Enabled]
USB_16 [Enabled]
USB_17 [Enabled]
Network Stack [Disabled]
Device [SanDisk SDSSDXPS480G]
SATA Controller(s) [Enabled]
SATA Mode [AHCI]
NVMe RAID mode [Disabled]
SMART Self Test [Enabled]
SATA6G_1 [Enabled]
SATA6G_1 Hot Plug [Disabled]
SATA6G_2 [Enabled]
SATA6G_2 Hot Plug [Disabled]
SATA6G_3 [Enabled]
SATA6G_3 Hot Plug [Disabled]
SATA6G_4 [Enabled]
SATA6G_4 Hot Plug [Disabled]
Restore AC Power Loss [Power Off]
ErP Ready [Disabled]
Max Power Saving [Disabled]
Power On By PCI-E [Disabled]
Power On By RTC [Disabled]
Native ASPM [Auto]
CPU PCIE ASPM Mode Control [Auto]
PCIEX16_1 Bandwidth Bifurcation Configuration [Auto Mode]
USB Audio Controller [Enabled]
M.2_3 PCIEX16_2 Switch [Auto]
Wi-Fi Controller [Enabled]
Bluetooth Controller [Enabled]
When system is in working state [Aura Only]
When system is in sleep, hibernate or soft off states [Stealth Mode]
Intel LAN Controller [Enabled]
USB power delivery in Soft Off state (S5) [Enabled]
PCIEX16_1 Link Mode [Auto]
M.2_1 Link Mode [Auto]
Chipset Link Mode [Auto]
M.2_2 Link Mode [Auto]
PCIEX16_2/M.2_3 Link Mode [Auto]
PCIEX1_1 Link Mode [Auto]
PCIEX1_2 Link Mode [Auto]
Primary Video Device [PCIE Video]
Integrated Graphics [Disabled]
Global C-state Control [Auto]
IOMMU [Auto]
ECC [Auto]
SMT Control [Auto]
Core Performance Boost [Auto]
L1 Stream HW Prefetcher [Auto]
L2 Stream HW Prefetcher [Auto]
L1 Stride Prefetcher [Auto]
L1 Region Prefetcher [Auto]
L1 Burst Prefetch Mode [Auto]
L2 Up/Down Prefetcher [Auto]
Core Watchdog Timer Enable [Auto]
RedirectForReturnDis [Auto]
Power Supply Idle Control [Auto]
Opcache Control [Auto]
Streaming Stores Control [Auto]
Local APIC Mode [Auto]
ACPI _CST C1 Declaration [Auto]
Platform First Error Handling [Auto]
MCA error thresh enable [Auto]
MCA FruText [True]
SMU and PSP Debug Mode [Auto]
PPIN Opt-in [Auto]
REP-MOV/STOS Streaming [Enabled]
Enhanced REP MOVSB/STOSB [Enabled]
Fast Short REP MOVSB (FSRM) [Auto]
SNP Memory (RMP Table) Coverage [Auto]
SMEE [Auto]
Action on BIST Failure [Auto]
Log Transparent Errors [Auto]
AVX512 [Auto]
MONITOR and MWAIT disable [Auto]
Corrector Branch Predictor [Auto]
PAUSE Delay [Auto]
CPU Speculative Store Modes [Auto]
SVM Lock [Auto]
SVM Enable [Auto]
Memory interleaving [Auto]
Memory interleaving size [Auto]
DRAM map inversion [Auto]
Location of private memory regions [Auto]
ACPI SRAT L3 Cache As NUMA Domain [Auto]
Disable DF to external downstream IP Sync Flood Propagation [Auto]
Disable DF sync flood propagation [Auto]
Freeze DF module queues on error [Auto]
DF Cstates [Auto]
PSP error injection support [False]
Active Memory Timing Settings [Auto]
Processor CK drive strengths [Auto]
Processor CA drive strengths [Auto]
Processor CS drive strengths [Auto]
CA ODT GroupA [Auto]
CK ODT GroupA [Auto]
CS ODT GroupA [Auto]
CA ODT GroupB [Auto]
CK ODT GroupB [Auto]
CS ODT GroupB [Auto]
Processor ODT Impedance Pull Up P0 [Auto]
Processor ODT Impedance Pull Down P0 [Auto]
Processor DQ drive strengths Pull Up P0 [Auto]
Processor DQ drive strengths Pull Down P0 [Auto]
Dram ODT Impedance RTT_NOM_WR P0 [Auto]
Dram ODT impedance RTT_NOM_RD P0 [Auto]
Dram ODT impedance RTT_WR P0 [Auto]
Dram ODT impedance RTT_PARK P0 [Auto]
Dram ODT impedance DQS_RTT_PARK P0 [Auto]
Dram DQ drive strengths Pull Up P0 [Auto]
Dram DQ drive strengths Pull Down P0 [Auto]
Processor ODT Impedance Pull Up P1 [Auto]
Processor ODT Impedance Pull Down P1 [Auto]
Processor DQ drive strengths Pull Up P1 [Auto]
Processor DQ drive strengths Pull Down P1 [Auto]
Dram ODT Impedance RTT_NOM_WR P1 [Auto]
Dram ODT impedance RTT_NOM_RD P1 [Auto]
Dram ODT impedance RTT_WR P1 [Auto]
Dram ODT impedance RTT_PARK P1 [Auto]
Dram ODT impedance DQS_RTT_PARK P1 [Auto]
Dram DQ drive strengths Pull Up P1 [Auto]
Dram DQ drive strengths Pull Down P1 [Auto]
Processor ODT Impedance Pull Up P2 [Auto]
Processor ODT Impedance Pull Down P2 [Auto]
Processor DQ drive strengths Pull Up P2 [Auto]
Processor DQ drive strengths Pull Down P2 [Auto]
Dram ODT Impedance RTT_NOM_WR P2 [Auto]
Dram ODT impedance RTT_NOM_RD P2 [Auto]
Dram ODT impedance RTT_WR P2 [Auto]
Dram ODT impedance RTT_PARK P2 [Auto]
Dram ODT impedance DQS_RTT_PARK P2 [Auto]
Dram DQ drive strengths Pull Up P2 [Auto]
Dram DQ drive strengths Pull Down P2 [Auto]
Processor ODT Impedance Pull Up P3 [Auto]
Processor ODT Impedance Pull Down P3 [Auto]
Processor DQ drive strengths Pull Up P3 [Auto]
Processor DQ drive strengths Pull Down P3 [Auto]
Dram ODT Impedance RTT_NOM_WR P3 [Auto]
Dram ODT impedance RTT_NOM_RD P3 [Auto]
Dram ODT impedance RTT_WR P3 [Auto]
Dram ODT impedance RTT_PARK P3 [Auto]
Dram ODT impedance DQS_RTT_PARK P3 [Auto]
Dram DQ drive strengths Pull Up P3 [Auto]
Dram DQ drive strengths Pull Down P3 [Auto]
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Wow... Thanks for reading and any suggestions!

Really looking for advice on how to handle this situation and whether we might need to pursue legal recourse.
We moved into a new construction townhome development in Fall 2023. The HOA board was assembled shortly thereafter and management of the development was handed over from the developer's property management group to the HOA (or so we were told; there is also a ton of verbiage in our bylaws about the official "turning over" of the development to the HOA after the last certificate of occupancy). Before we moved in we inquired as to whether we would be allowed to install a deck with a small hot tub (we like most folks in the neighborhood opted to build the deck onto our house later on after closing to save on costs). Our HOA documents originally stated "the board will publish decking guidelines to ensure consistency throughout the community", and when we inquired about a hot tub we were just told the board was still deciding on formal deck rules but they were considering allowing hot tubs.
Fast forward to March 2024: the HOA board formally published their Executed Deck Resolution, in which it states "hot tubs are allowed on decks provided there is privacy fencing on both sides." Perfect, great! We started getting plans together for our deck build, hired a contractor, and put a deposit on a hot tub to ensure the timeline to source it would align with our build.
The Executed Deck Resolution also stipulates that we must procure all permits from the township prior to even requesting approval from the HOA, and that each deck request must still go through HOA approval. So we went forward and paid many hundreds of dollars in permit fees to obtain permits for the deck, the hot tub (spa permit), and necessary electrical wiring to install an outlet to power the hot tub. This all seemed fine to us at the time because our HOA board president verbally stated at a community meeting that the board was starting to get a lot of deck requests rolling in and as long as they were permit approved by the township the board was basically rubber stamping to approve everyone's request. AND, the board had officially approved hot tubs.
Well, sometime between March and now the board has apparently decided they DO NOT plan to approve our hot tub request. We have 4 days left until our architectural change request is automatically denied for having sat too long without being ruled upon by the HOA (everything gets assumed denied after 30 days if not ruled upon, which is asinine). We've been prodding the board periodically asking if we can ease any concerns or answer any questions for them before they approve our request and have been ghosted except for one message from a board member demanding that we "speak with our neighbors first to get their feedback." I'm sorry, what? Since when do I need my neighbor's approval for a project?
Yesterday I prodded one more time and then received a text from another board member that the president is out on vacation and hasn't voted yay or nay on our deck build, which means our request will expire in a few days and will be an automatic no. Then she dropped the bomb on me that even if the president gets his shit together in time and votes yes, our request STILL has to go back to the property management company (???????????) for approval. There is nothing about this in our bylaws. It clearly states "unit owners shall have a right to construct a deck subject to containing the consent of the builder (prior to issuance of the last certificate of occupancy), the Association (after issuance of last certificate of occupancy), and the Township."
My impression is that the board is completely incompetent and failing to do their job. My question is: when they inevitably deny our request, either via a direct "no" or by just ignoring us for 30 days, do I have a legal case here? I am acting within my given rights as a homeowner and my architectural change request falls very squarely within the published HOA deck guidelines. I also feel my request is being treated unfairly and held to a different standard than the other homeowners simply because the board changed their minds at some point and are trying to dodge the situation.
I have a letter of appeal drafted already that I plan to submit the moment our request expires. But is there anything else I can do here? Hire a lawyer to write a threatening letter? Build my deck and put a hot tub in anyway and let them place a lien on my property in the hopes that a judge will rule in my favor?
On the surface this is about me wanting a hot tub (as is my right according to the Executed Deck Resolution) but underneath this is a deeply concerning issue about the board's complete and utter failure to act within the best interest of the community. Please help!

My relationship was suddenly broken up by my boyfriend after having a super loving relationship of 2 years. Weeks before and weeks after the breakup, he gave many worrying signals that things are going badly and thinks himself worthless, is not himself, hardly feels anything as if he is numb, lost a lot of weight in short time no sleeping tired restless etc. Also 1.5 months after he gave double signals that he does not want to lose me but wants peace from everyone not just me.
Everything is his fault and he is heavily negative, says he earns nothing, takes bad care of himself, physically tired symptoms, liked depressed things online, doesn't care about himself his life etc. He said later that I am great and even the perfect wife for him and I make him happy? But I deserve better than him and he cannot give me what I want?
All signs he gave me point to depression or something, although he will never admit that to himself. I knew nothing but after reading I do come to that direction and with his worrying statements....
Last year this played out in a less bad variant, during those 2 months we kept in touch and saw each other sometimes. He hardly remembers any of that now and doesnt know what happend to him why he felt that way. And I thought then it had to do with a sick family member and not a depression or something. Only now I do recognize his statements and suddenly low self-esteem etc. He was like this also last year but not so heavy as now.
A few days before the breakup we discussed the signals him feeling not himself and feeling a bit more numb and he said that he loves me and didn't want to lose me. And suddenly the relationship was done via app when he got angry about something totally unrelated to me.
He now escapes back into a lot of work and isolates himself from people close to him. I don't have the impression that his family is concerned, as if he is wearing a mask there. I expressed my concerns there and now according to him I have caused more problems? He has given me a lot of worrying signals, but has not told me anything about problems. It bothers me that he has been showing me so many worrying signals and behaviors for months, but they haven't realized anything at home? Although he is barely home with his evenings work so can you keep up appearances enough?
Now he has cut off all contact in another angry mood and has been ignoring all messages for 3 weeks and has blocked me almost everywhere. Everything he does now he would never do and even before says he wont do it, now suddenly he does it.
I am very worried if there is indeed depression or some other mental problems or just only life problems. I don't reconize him anymore feeling so cold, and he doesn't understand it either why he is so cold and numb and why he breaks up. And the other time he says everything is fine I have to move on and will forget about him quickly?
If he is depressed, I don't want to drop him but I also don't want to "bother" him too much. He says he would rather not lose me but he needs rest at the moment. Although I don't understand at all why he needs rest because he doesn't explain anything and already has difficulty talking. And after he said that he blocks me the next day? It doesn't make any sense.
Everything has been playing like this for 2 months now and he refuses help or talking and always solves everything on his own. I tried to send occasional messages that I am still there for him. I wonder if he is really aware of what it could be or just never told me. Also why he did keep sharing all the worrying signals and just suddenly locke me out of his life after so many mixed signals and weeks..
This moment I feel like he has completely turned from love to hate, that's how it feels now he is ignoring me. And I don't understand a thing what has happend or is going on. How he can say one moment he would rather not lose me and then ignore me for weeks and block everything. That hurts me a lot. And he says he wants to hurt me as little as possible and this is for the best now. Like it is temporarly and not about me, so many changes.
Is that ''normal'' behavior of someone in depression that you can so suddenly do so different to someone you love a lot? Because I don't understand why at first he still wants to keep in touch and then less and less. And is now blocking me, completely ignoring me, but according to family could go out for dinner with 'new' friends. He doesn't want to see his old real friends since last year and doesn't really want to spend time with family as well. But we saw each other every day till this happend. I find it so confusing and get 0 answers from him.
Anyone advice on his behavior as I am not familiar with depression but read recognizable things. Or could there be other things going on like family problems or mental health issues causing him to withdraw so much? To me it is kinda extreme to drop everything in your life, your relationship and future together. And after al the things he said that he doesn't want to lose me and he is happy with me and everything it doesn't make sense why he still breaks up and ignore me now.
And advice on what I can best do now? I do not want to lose him but this is so confusing to me and I am a bit desperate. At the moment I let him be, but find this very difficult. We used to talk the whole day and see each other everyday and now I lost him and don't understand what happend and I am worrying about him but cannot reach him anymore..

I have been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years after meeting when I spent a semester abroad in his city. The first year was absolutely perfect. We would meet for 5-6 days every 2 weeks or even less so the time spent apart was minimal and not enough to make me feel like I want more of his attention.
However, after a year his uni situation got harder (he's an athlete and a perfectionist) and we couldn't meet that often. We started meeting every month basically and if he had an important exam coming up it could even take longer. In the meantime, we wouldn't do anything together. We just texted a few things about our days and that's it. Whenever I would ask for a call, he wasn't available. We didn't do any movie nights or date nights online because he didn't have the energy nor time for these.
This resulted in me feeling very neglected and rejected in a way and I was complaining about it a lot. His response was usually that he can't change the situation, it's not in his control, life is hard, I should be patient. I was explaining to him that I was already patient and one call or date every 10 days isn't too much and that there should be some time for us in his schedule. I was worried about the future too, how it will be with us when he starts working or when something uni- or work-related comes up with a deadline. He was only telling me that I put too much pressure on him, I need to understand him and be patient and that's life and we will meet in 3 weeks and it'll be better.
A month ago this issue arose again and he felt too pressured and said to break up (I had suggested that like 10 times earlier in the conversation, I have to say this is my toxic trait in fights and I am not proud of it). 15 minutes later he is calling me and telling me he doesn't really want to break up and that he physically felt awful in such little time and realised this was a mistake and that I'm not overreacting or asking for too much when I ask for a call or a date night in 2 weeks or something. So we pick up from where we stopped. A few days later we met in person and I have to say this break refreshened the relationship, we were more in love than before and when I was back he suggested we watch the rest of a movie we had left which was a huge surprise and step for him. In general, when we meet in person even for longer (like 3 weeks 24/7 together) its amazing and we even tried to live together in his city, but it didn't work because we couldn't find an apartment how we wanted it on time.
Now, he's on vacation with his parents. For two weeks we have only been texting a bit, not much because he had too much studying and work to do. I was understanding and didn't ask for anything too. The first days of the vacation he would send me lots of pictures and I wasn't replying to him too often to not bother him or take up too much of his time. Yesterday, he only sent me at noon a good morning message and didn't send anything for 9 hours. No pictures, no replies to my texts, I called him and he didn't pick it up, just texted me that he will respond to me soon. He started replying to my messages and sending me pictures of his day at 23:30. I felt awful and told him I really felt ignored and to please not do that again. Today at 14:36 and he still hasn't texted me anything. I have sent him a good morning message but hasn't read it.
Probably the fact that the distance has continued for so long has made me very tired, so I really might be overreacting.
I feel like I am losing my mind. I don't know how it is for other couples, whether I am asking for too much. I don't want to sound controlling, I really feel like he's disrespecting me like that. I also feel like I'm too much and pressuring him. But when we are together it's amazing. He is great. But when we are apart it is not the best. I am not happy nor feeling loved and I'm scared to ask for what I want cause every time he gets mad and makes it seem like I make this whole thing too hard and I could be easier. Please tell me what should I do? I want to know whether I'm crazy or whether it's normal to ask for these things. I want to fight for the relationship I remember we have when we are physically together. This is my first relationship. I don't know how it's supposed to be.

Two of my friends were in a relationship for almost 6 months and recently broke things off. The girl decided to choose her future because her parents didn’t want her to have a boyfriend yet. Idk why she realized it just now. I think it may have to do with her being guilty since her family made a good plan for her future— to work abroad as doctor in America since they have connections there.
It was awful timing since the guy was in the low— he was taking care of his grandmother in the hospital these past few weeks til now. Now, I need to share his stress since he chats with me to message the girl. It’s a constant bother for me, especially when I have things to do. It’s worse when he speaks to me as if he’s my boss or something.
Of course, as their friend, I’ve always encouraged them to tell their parents about their relationship first. But they just ignored my advice.
Now, don’t get the wrong ideas. Yeah, I’m their friend. It’s my responsibility. But they did such things behind my back. There was a time where I said no to them for the first time. It was when I had an argument with one of our friends. And, the girl was suffering with her “mental health”. The guy insisted I make up with that friend of ours since it would help with her mental health.
And I said no. I asked him to help her with her mental health instead as I’ll be solving my own problems.
You know what I heard the following days? I heard from one of my friends (who weren’t friends with them) that they called me insensitive for it.
Like? Let me take a breather even just for a single day…! Since as far as I know, I was there for the girl everytime she goes through “mental health problems” — that I soon realize was just her way to have all the group’s attention to herself.
I just had a headache when I replied to the demands of the guy. Like no exaggeration there, seriously!

Relevant background context: I was bullied by my classmates and abused by my parents and siblings for basically my whole life until I was about 16. Then I was bullied by my first boyfriend at the age of 18 for about 6 months.
Objectively speaking, I should feel good that I am the person I am today. I am a disciplined, beautiful, talented, kind, hard working woman which is all I’ve ever wanted to be. I surround myself with people who love me and want the best for me. When I am unable to cope with a situation, I give myself grace and understanding. I encourage myself the way I would a friend. I am also very assertive when it comes making sure others respect my boundaries. I do not allow myself to get walked all over. I don’t have any people pleasing behaviours. I have goals and I constantly work towards them.
However, a part of me still has low self esteem. For examples of how this manifests are below:

1. I was excited that a hot guy has been pursuing me for months when he had a girlfriend, when I should honestly be disgusted (I rejected him constantly btw). I know that I was excited because even though I logically knew that I deserved better than that, deep down I felt that I didn’t. In fact I felt lucky that a guy like that was pursuing a girl like me.
   
2. Feeling like I deserve to be bullied. Sometimes I slip up on standing up for myself because I feel like I deserve to be bullied because I’m used to be being bullied to a degree.
   
3. Disbelief at who I am. I cannot get used to the way I live my life. It almost feels as if I have been put in another person’s body and I am casually observing them. Deep down, I don’t really believe that I am this person who is capable of all these things when I am - because me right now is the kind of person I would idolise when I was younger.
   

What can I do to make this feeling go away?

Relevant background context: I was bullied by my classmates and abused by my parents and siblings for basically my whole life until I was about 16. Then I was bullied by my first boyfriend at the age of 18 for about 6 months.
Objectively speaking, I should feel good that I am the person I am today. I am a disciplined, beautiful, talented, kind, hard working woman which is all I’ve ever wanted to be. I surround myself with people who love me and want the best for me. When I am unable to cope with a situation, I give myself grace and understanding. I encourage myself the way I would a friend. I am also very assertive when it comes making sure others respect my boundaries. I do not allow myself to get walked all over. I don’t have any people pleasing behaviours. I have goals and I constantly work towards them.
However, a part of me still has low self esteem. For examples of how this manifests are below:

1. I was excited that a hot guy has been pursuing me for months when he had a girlfriend, when I should honestly be disgusted (I rejected him constantly btw). I know that I was excited because even though I logically knew that I deserved better than that, deep down I felt that I didn’t. In fact I felt lucky that a guy like that was pursuing a girl like me.
   
2. Feeling like I deserve to be bullied. Sometimes I slip up on standing up for myself because I feel like I deserve to be bullied because I’m used to be being bullied to a degree.
   
3. Disbelief at who I am. I cannot get used to the way I live my life. It almost feels as if I have been put in another person’s body and I am casually observing them. Deep down, I don’t really believe that I am this person who is capable of all these things when I am - because me right now is the kind of person I would idolise when I was younger.
   

It took so much work for me to transform myself into the person that I am today but I still think of myself as someone who is naïve, awkward, lazy, ugly, etc. the way I did when I was younger and had no ability to be kind to myself. When I do things correctly (stand up for myself, be kind to myself, etc) and speak objectively it feels like I am lying to myself and everyone around me when I’m not. Deep down I feel I am someone who has zero redeeming qualities.
What can I do to make this feeling go away?
Edit: Added other examples

My mum told me yesterday we were gonna make pancakes, which was great. So I decided as a sort of surprise to make the pancakes early in the morning a d prep everything for them.
So I was just finishing up the pancake mixture and I was about to start making the pancakes when my mum came in. I didn’t expect her to wake up but she did.
She asked me if I needed help but I said no and I can do everything for everyone.
She was happy at first, but she was already picky over how I did it, and started to basically do it herself. I started frying the pancake and she got annoyed that I put it in when the pan wasn’t hot enough.
I do things myself my own way, and they always turn out well, so I don’t like it when people interrogate when I’m trying to do something. And my mum does this exact thing.
Then she was annoyed at me for having an attitude. Which I didn’t, I just wasn’t saying anything. If I did say something, I’d get told off, so I’d rather not talk. And honestly, I was quite disappointed that she wasn’t appreciating the fact that i was trying to do the pancakes for everyone. So that’s why I wasn’t saying anything.
Then she got even more annoyed at me. I don’t know why. But she said she’s gonna do the pancakes herself. And told me to do the dishes jnstead. She seemed irritated that I even did the pancakes in the first place. That she was supposed to do it herself, and I should have known that.
Then she told me that I should put a smile on my face.
Then she started talking about my career and all the things I don’t want to talk about in the kitchen in the morning. And she asked why I can’t say anything in the conversation. And there just isn’t much to say. Especially in an atmosphere like that. She’s irritated with me, she thinks I’ve got attitude problems.
This happens every time she and my dad is off. There’s always some sort of problem.
And this exact thing happened when I tried to make dinner as a surprise, and she wasn’t really happy because she wasn’t hungry and I should have guessed. And I made a mistake with the food.
And she thinks I’m not a nice person to my parents, only to my boyfriend. Which I don’t think is true at all. It’s just my parents naturally make me more upset than my bf does.
Am I wrong?

Link to original post: https://www.reddit.com/AITAH/comments/1blerq4/aita_for_telling_my_friend_everything_i/
I thought that I would never be posting on here again about the situation between me, Eve and Anna, but here we are. First of all, seeing this post without a now deleted update I posted in tifu would make this post seem out of character, so I will add in the context to bring everyone up to date
On April 12th, I just happened to run into Anna and who I presume is her boyfriend. She called me over to have a chat and gave me this spiel about how it wasn't okay to call her a nonce because of her relationship with Eve, even though that is the truth and that she somehow still didn't have a problem with me and that everybody missed me at that club last week. I know I shouldn't have, I should have just walked away, which is the better option or said exactly what it was that I was thinking, about how she is a nonce, 22 year olds shouldn't even consider dating minors, let alone dating them like she did with Eve and how what she did to ME wasn't okay but instead, I pretended to agree as I hate confrontation and causing drama, then got mad at myself for not just walking away or causing a scene by standing up for myself, that I needed to just stand up for myself instead of letting myself be used as a punching bag. I still stand by the claims made against her being true. That was the last time I ever saw her again. I also still didn't tell her about what Eve had claimed as even though she didn't have the respect for me to hide it until I was ready to expose the truth or for her to do it,, I still hadn't got the heart to expose Eve's SA claim without her consent, as I think she was being pressured into giving up the facade she had on me. As for Eve, I still don't know what's happened to her, though I do hope she's okay and manages to free herself from the situation if she hasn't done already.
I had largely forgotten about the club as I hadn't attended for a while, and didn't really talk with anyone of my former friend group since that day in April, except for one, who I will call Dean. Me and Dean met in 2022 as we just so happened to be sharing a council-provided taxi to college - we both are autistic. But when I left college in June 2023, I hadn't seen him again, until I started attending the club sessions in the first place. I was coming home from a food shop when I saw Dean and proceeded to tell him where I was and not too much about the drama.
Onto today, I had been getting on well with my day as per usual when my mum suddenly asked for my email address. I assumed that maybe she wanted to email me something for some reason and just forgotten what it was, even though she never emails me. Later on I receive a series of text messages. Apparently, there is a certificate by the charity that hosted the club in the first place. To be clear, this will have been due to volunteering for their free fruit and vegetables drop in, which is how I heard of them when I was looking for volunteering, rather than the club sessions I stopped attending after the one in late March went downhill. I was hoping that when I would go to claim it, it'd be at an alternative session to the one that I believed that Anna would always attend. But then I got a text message saying that Anna had stopped attending, to which I replied with a simple 'Cool.' I was also told in a later text message that it would be okay for me to go back to the sessions that I had abandoned and fled after that night and that they and my mum were trying to plan for us to get together yesterday before their lack of responses meant that the attempt fell through and I would therefore be going to see my Aunt instead. I was skeptical though about that departure, so I asked Dean via text today to ask him to verify that claim as I'm sure he still attends. He gave me a simple one-word answer. Yes.
So that meant, unknowingly to me until today, a stringent requirement that I set for a possible return to that club had been satisfied. More than likely, I think it was more Anna's own choice or the choice of her parents, rather than anything going on that meant she was kicked out. Although, I hope that it was Eve exposing the truth about their awful, inappropriate relationship and that allegation that she made about Anna to me that got the ball rolling and got her out. If that happened, it'd be sweet karmic justice for at least Eve, and maybe me as well if she exposed my side of that mess as well as her own.
To be honest though, I still have reservations about going back to the club that I left due to the drama that was caused back in March. For one, that former friend group I had is close with Anna, or at least was when I last attended, so if they're still close with Anna after everything and how I was basically shoved away and left feeling like I wasn't welcome and should probably stop attending. Unless something happened and one of the members exposed her, or they finally had enough of her bullshit, I think they will just accuse me of working silently with some of the organizers to get Anna removed which would enable me to return without fear of Anna being there, ESPECIALLY if it was a recent one rather than a departure in May. And what if it was only a temporary departure and she returns at the same time that I do? I texted my mum the concerns about the rest of the friend group and she responded by telling me that they might not be there and even so, it's their problem, not mine. I do hope that the rest of them is gone also, but I will at least have the chance to celebrate a small victory if I do go back.

Hi!
Wong here, friendly 36 asian gay from Europe here looking for some long term friends to play casual and toxic free HotS (heroes of the storms) with.
If that is something you are interested in feel free to send me a private message with your age and name :)

She disrespects me, pregnant soon-to-be. I am only 15, my boyfriend ( her son) is 16.
To help understand what kind of mother she is, the first time my boyrfriend welcomed her back into his life after years she was supposed to pick him up from school. She called him unexpectedly as school was over telling me not to get on the bus and that she'd pick me up. I waited hours; she never came. She continues to prove her incapability to be a crutch for him as she is never on time. She dropped me and my boyfriend off at a lake and said she'd be back in an hour. 3 hours later we call her and she tells us we are rushing her, and throws a fit.
She is friends with a man who recorded me and my boyfriend and HERSELF naked in the bathroom either changing/using the toilet/showering. She said she was scared that he was going to kill her but continues to buddy buddy with him as if they were childhood best friends. In reality, he is only her domestically abusive ex-boyfriend's brother who is obsessed and desires more than a friendship with her, which she claims she will never see him that way. Yet it seems as if she leads him on with the excuse of "I have a flirty personality".
The man was drunk one night, and screamed at me that I ask for too much of my boyfriends mother, when all I asked was to get my laptop from my house. ( 10 min drive ) Making me cry, I have PTSD and have had my father yell in my face and put his hands on me. His mother stayed quiet and allowed this to happen. Then after the man left she sided with us saying he was crazy and had anger issues but never brought it up to him, taking his side to his face.
One morning, I woke up really hungry. I hadn't eaten the night before or the current morning whatsoever because we are low on money. His mother had 100$ worth of food stamps, when I went to ask if I could get a $3 salad from Casey's, his mother yelled at me not to tell her what to do with her money. She put her hands on me, threatened to call the cops, etc.
There's much more but that's a lot to get into these are just some random examples, I decided enough was enough and stress was bad for my baby. Reached out on insta it went something like this. **
His Mom
You wanna talk we can talk in person I'm not bout to sit here and text cause someone will take it the wrong way. I'm getting ready for work anywho.

Me

I do not want to talk to you in person, what I have won't be misinterpreted. I've tried talking to you in person you catch an attitude if I'm not picky with my words and I tend to match energy, I can't deal with stress and yelling. You may not care considering when I reminded you I am pregnant last time your response was "so?", but I care about my baby and I take into mind what my emotions with cause upon my child

His Mom

I won't sit back and be disrespected over and over again by a child. You are very manipulative with my child and what you won't do is use that baby as leverage to hold over somebody's head. I'm getting ready for work now !
Me
You call me manipulative yet you screamed and cried to your child in the same hour, you don't want to be disrespected? me either, respect is earned. You can claim I use the baby as leverage but every statement I make before bringing up I'm pregnant is valid, example; I have to eat, I am pregnant. Why are you yelling, I am pregnant etc. Try again ! Sure, call me a child. If that's the case your the adult, act like it.
Replying to his moms message.
Her message:"I'm getting ready for work now !" And this means nothing to me, you say this and when you come back it's a roulette of what's chelcie going to waste her money on this time? Will it be weed and alcohol? Will it be gambling? Oh, or will it be giving money to her ex-husband! find out next episode!! While your busy wasting thousands, I manage to live off of 500 a month only spending it on food and your son, like you should be doing. Give me a reason to respect you and I will

His Mom

Byeee kid

Me

Thanks for proving my point, No you are not welcomed in my babies life. 🙂You are immature and a narcissist.

His Mom

And you won't and can't stop mee silly girl
Me
I can, you have no right to tell me what I can and can’t do with my child, if I do not want you seeing my child you will not see him/her, period. I know my rights, minor or not as a parent I will not be obligated to allow you visits into my childs life if you are being a problem.

His Mom

We will see, I'm done with your childish ass

Me

Sure. I am childish. We sure will see. As far as my kid will know you died before he was born, learn respect not everything is given to you.
His Mom
Your done treating my child the way you do him also

Me

(BF NAME) loves me, I love him. our future as a family will only grow without you in the picture. Continue to prove my point. He waited all night for you to come home, I stayed up texting him till he fell asleep. He told me he couldn't even get through to you.
His Mom
My dad was a cop and my uncle is a judge I don't care what Google says Lol

Me

lol and my dads the CEO of Home Depot, doesn't matter. Let's go to court about this.

His Mom

I don't have time to entertain your bullshit go watch TV or something

Me

Yea entertain my bullshit, you're a 33 year old cry baby.

End

Hi all, this morning I woke up to a series of texts from a burner instagram account sharing my own nudes with me and threatening to share them onto twitter if I didn’t reply. As I assumed it was a scam, I didn’t reply and took them as empty threats, but now every so often I get a message from a random instagram burner account saying things like “hey your nudes got leaked on twitter” or the typical “what’s your snap” “you’re so hot” from an account that either has no follows or looks faked. I tried to do my own digging on twitter and couldn’t find my leaks, but I’m not very familiar with twitter as a platform so maybe they’re hidden in plain sight and I just don’t know how to properly find it. I am screenshotting everything in the event I’d need to use it to take to police, but if someone could help me identify what could be going on that would be fantastic. Thank you!

We've been talking for almost 2 months and I let him court me because he's a good guy. But nothing changed—he treats me the same as before na nasa talking stage kami. I thought na may mga changes na mangyayari since nililigawan na niya. Walang ka-effort effort ang mga messages niya, para lang kaming friends but that's fine with me but at the same time nakakadisappointed wala siyang ginagawa to make make me think na 'ay, mukhang ideal boyfriend sya for me.' We had a misunderstanding and he told me "chat mo nalang ako kapag okay kana. What do you think?

Good afternoon folks!
Well, the 2023/24 snooker season didn't disappoint in drama and action. While the World Championship may have disappointed some, a worthy winner in the form of Kettering's Kyren Wilson took the trophy and £500,000 in prize money, bringing an end to a season dominated primarily by Judd Trump, Ronnie O'Sullivan and Mark Allen in the tournaments they won, but it also brought a light to many new talents and winners, notably Zhang Anda winning his maiden world ranking title in China, and the beginning of new professional careers for He Guoqiang and Liu Hongyu. Si Jiahui followed up (belately) with his 2023 World Championship run with his first world ranking final in Germany, even if he did not win the title.
Snooker is in a really healthy place, fan numbers are up and all of us can't wait for the 2024/25 season to begin, with changes already afoot on the World Snooker Tour that we'll be seeing in the new season!
Before we get into the meat of this update post, there's one thing we want to call out, and thats you, the community. We're all fans of the sport and it is always a pleasure to be able to converse about all things snooker every year and during every tournament. The growing importance and fanbase of snooker isn't just an anecdote either: we can see that clearly in our own member numbers.
Two years ago, we had around 39,000 members in the community. This time last year, when we posted an important announcement during the 2023 World Semi-Finals, we had 43,000 members. Now, as of the conclusion of this years' World Championship, we're now over 60,000 members, meaning we have grown by 17,000 members in just one year. Snooker is growing year-on-year and this community is quickly becoming the hub and premier discussion portal to the sport, both for brand new fans, old fans returning after a hiatus and our long-term fandom.
All we can say, as a moderation team, is thank you for continuing to participate in this community daily, weekly, monthly, or sporadically. Whichever way you choose to consume snooker, this community will always be here to discuss, debate and comment on the sport, in all forms. 👏
So now, onwards to some of the changes we'll be making for next season. At the end of every season, we make changes to best accommodate the changing needs of you, the fans, using this forum to discuss the sport. We use your feedback (sent to us directly via Modmail or in the tournament discussion threads), as well as general observations over the course of the season, to best shape how the community is served by the functionalities offered to us by Reddit, but also to make sure that the community is protected from the malicious actors out there who seek to do nothing but disrupt our space.
Here is a summary of some of those changes we're making to improve our community, but also to protect you from malicious users: 1. A new link filter to block compromised accounts linking to cryptocurrency scams. 2. A variety of new flairs to best categorise discussions and opinion pieces. 3. New rules relating to the discussion and promotion of bootleg and illegal streaming websites, as well as a rule change regarding the re-selling of tournament tickets. 4. A few minor updates regarding the Tournament Discussion threads for next season.

Link Filtering

Some of you might remember this, but many will not: at the start of the 2023-24 season, we experienced issues relating primarily to scambots, compromised accounts and general "spam". The issue primarily related to the linking of malicious cryptocurrency/phishing websites, designed solely to scam you out of accounts on the internet. Initially, we fought those efforts using the AutoModerator but over time, we realised that this was not going to be a long-term solution, as the links would keep changing and it would be a losing battle.
So as a moderation team, we decided that the best way to block out a lot of the scam link attempts was to make use of Reddit's native "link whitelisting" feature. Basically, the link whitelist means that all links are blocked from being posted, EXCEPT if the link comes from a trusted domain that we have specified. This increases trust that when you click a link in a post, it takes you to where it says it will. Going forward, the only links you will be able to share in the opening post of a new thread will be links to verified official websites, most of which will relate to Snooker.
While we're unable to filter out comments within threads themselves using this feature, we believe that this will help to ensure the safety of the community by blocking out scams. Since implementing this feature, we have seen a 100% reduction in scam links being posted, so it is a net positive!
This link filter is not a static thing: as new sites are discovered, they will be added to the whitelist. The current whitelist is lengthy, but it includes the domains of the BBC, Eurosport, WST, snooker.org and a number of other verified sources of snooker information. If you find your post is getting blocked because of this link filter, and you believe that the URL is safe, please reach out to the moderators using the Modmail feature by clicking the "Message the Moderators" button.

Post Flairing

The community has long had a number of flairs available for users to categorise posts, however for a significant period of time, these flairs weren't enabled for users to use on their posts and as a result, a majority of posts on the community don't have any flairs to categorise them. We've decided that adding flairs is a great way of helping to categorise discussions, so we've expanded the range of flairs available to you. When posting a new thread, you'll see the option to add a flair to your post.
To make things easier for everyone, we've enabled the setting requiring that all new posts be flaired. This means that users will be able to immediately tell what kind of topic you have posted and won't need to guess it from the title. Moderators reserve the right to change the flair on a post if its deemed that the wrong one has been used.
For those who use the Mobile Reddit app, or New Reddit (whether v1 or v2), you will be able to filter by flair using the "Filter by Topic" section. Use these to quickly find your discussion or see if new discussions have been posted in your favourite topics!
NB: The Tournament Discussion and Community News flairs are restricted to only being used by the mods. Additionally, you won't be able to change the text of your chosen flair, so use the right one from the start! :)

Bootleg/Illegal Streams

For many years, this community has tended to advertise a variety of "unofficial" streams on platforms like Twitch and YouTube, or endorse the use of VPN's to access geoblocked content.
In the past, we tended to take a view of removing links like this a few days after the fact, and not necessarily moderate it straight away. Unfortunately, as this community grows in size and in visibility -- not only with the fans but with officials involved in the sport and in the broadcasting world, it is a topic of conversation that we have to become more strict about over time, and even more so since the WST and various broadcasters have started to clamp down upon these illegal streams.
While I'm sure that many of you will probably continue to use such platforms anyway and will continue to shun official platforms -- despite the fact that shunning such places discourages the growth of the sport in under-represented countries -- unfortunately from a moderation perspective, it is a topic that we now have to change our position on. Therefore, effective immediately, discussion and promotion of bootleg and illegal streams is forbidden across the community. As the WST grows, more and more official streams will become available via its broadcasting partners, and it is not in our best interests to permit the continued promotion of bootleg/illegal streams here.
Users who promote bootleg and illegal streams, as well as methods to bypass geoblocking restrictions, will have their posts removed when spotted and will receive appropriate moderation actions deemed necessary by the moderators. We'll also be taking proactive measures to block many of these bootleg streams from being linked using the AutoModerator, and moderators will also reactively remove any comments trying to evade our filters or hinting at locations where to find such content.
If you want such streams to exist, shouting about it on this community isn't the way to go about it.

Ticket Reselling

Like with the topic above, this sub has often been used from time to time to resell tickets. Often, this involves just advertising that you have a ticket that you can't use and asking users to DM you if you want to purchase.
From our point of view, using this community to resell your tickets is very questionable and you're also putting a lot of stock in the other user not being a scammer. This community is also not a marketplace, and thus using it to sell your tickets could put you in some hot water from a legal sense. There are also the Terms and Conditions with regards to buying tickets from WST's official tickets partner and local box offices, which make it clear that reselling tickets is not permitted and the additional security put in place by WST means that purchasing a resold ticket could leave you disappointed.
Therefore, effective immediately, ticket reselling is forbidden on this community. If you have purchased a ticket from an official WST ticket partner, or the local venue hosting the event, and you are no longer able to make it to the tournament in question, then you should not attempt to tout/sell your ticket here. Instead, if you have bought your ticket from the WST's SeeTickets platform, then log into their web portal and sell the ticket back to the WST: this way, the WST can sell the ticket legitimately to another fan, who will be able to enjoy snooker in person. Similarly, if you have purchased a ticket from the local venue or used one of the other official platforms offered by WST for buying tickets (eg Ticketmaster for the UK Championship), contact them to discuss a refund if they allow them.
Just for the avoidance of doubt: we're fine with questions relating to tickets (where to purchase, how to get refunds etc), but we're no longer permitting the use of the community to directly sell and buy tickets.

Tournament Discussion Threads

The following changes will take effect for Tournament Discussion threads:

1. For the last two seasons, the Tournament Discussion threads have been posted by AutoModerator. For the most part, this worked well, but we ran into some issues with typos or errors in the opening posts, which only came to light after the posts were made. Reddit doesn't allow us to modify these posts once they're posted by AutoMod, so this required us to delete and repost threads to correct typo's. Going forward, all of the tournament discussion threads will be posted by SnookerMods as this account is owned by our moderation team, thus we can correct typos more easily.
2. We'll no longer provide a sticky comment of a list of matches to be played. This is due to a lack of time from our end to maintain this aspect of the community, and also because it duplicates existing information that we provide in the form of links to external platforms. A sticky comment may be used for any important information on an ad-hoc basis: this will be posted by SnookerMods to allow any of our moderators to update the comment as required.
3. The table of links to platforms for information on draws, match schedule etc will be updated to include links to more than one platform. Prior to the start of last season, we always preferred to use the WST official data source, but that was replaced with snooker.org. Rather than providing links to just snooker.org, instead we'll include links to at least 3 platforms per tournament: the WST official match center, snooker.org and cuetracker.net. We'll expand this list over time with other official scoring platforms as required.

Feedback

Thanks for reading this thread! We hope these changes will help to continue growing our community, fostering discussion, but also protecting the masses from malicious actors and ourselves from the WST.
We won't always get everything right over the season, or even from those changes we've announced in this thread, but we always listen to user feedback and we'll be monitoring this thread for the next few weeks to see if there's any other changes we can make to improve your experience. Outside of this thread, you're always more than welcome to share feedback with our moderation team directly by clicking the "Message the Mods" button. While we can't respond to every feedback post we receive, nor implement every change asked by the community, we do our best to listen to all users and implement as many changes as we are able to.
Enjoy the 2024-25 snooker season and let us hope it is just as exciting as the last!!

• /snooker Moderators

Hey, this is my first post here.
I'm feeling really frustrated at the moment, and just want someone to listen.
Throughout my childhood, mum was always drunk. She was very unstable, she had bpd, which doesn't tend to mix well with alchohol. She was always very bitchy and mean when she was drunk, sometimes violent too.
Flash forwards to now, she's a few years sober and suddenly becomes disabled. Fine. She has fnd, which causes seizures, temporary paralysis and pain etc. She CONSTANTLY complains about her pain but won't take any of my solutions, like actually taking her meds. As well as this, every time I have a problem and talk to her, she's so cold with me and makes it about herself, often ending in me holding her whilst she cries. The thing that pushed me over the edge was this morning. I awoke to a message. "I can hardly move x" and I don't reply because she's a grown woman and I am her kid. I quite frankly don't give a fuck anymore. Following that, a few hours later, "can you make me a bagel and a coffee? X" I ignore her for a few minutes, then decide to just get on with it. I go down and her ex boyfriend who she dumped a few days ago but still lives here is holding a tray with her breakfast and my mum is crying like she's been shot and shaking trying to walk away from the kitchen. I look at this woman and I just want to punch her. Why is she doing this to me. I never got to have a mum because she was always black out drunk and now I have this adult-child who throws temper tantrums and cries on the floor or in the kitchen over anything and everything. I just wish she wasn't my mum. I just want a mum.

Hi all, I am 23F. I've been witnessing a ton of graduation photos recently.. Even one of my exes graduated and it has significantly brought my mood down. I know and you know that deep down I'm not "over him."If anything I resent him. (Other story).
Many people I know who have taken a gap year, have graduated. And even worse I am here.. Unemployed, trying to find a job, in debt, still cycling here and there through my moods even with my medication that I'm still trying to stabilize. I want to be like them, I want to graduate, I wish I could go back to the future and decide to not drop out. What if I didn't drop out, would I have gotten my bachelors degree? I wish I had a degree to even bring a smile to my mom's face, but I am unemployed and I'm not able to provide for her the way I've always wanted to.
I thought that internally I was really finding myself, trying to battle bipolar. I was proud of myself, but even worse it cycles (as it usually does). I am proud one day, next I am in tears wondering what I am even doing with my life and why I am the way I am. I want to be proud and I have found some techniques to help me with positive talk. I have an amazing therapist and an amazing psychiatrist, but everything still feels like it's not in place and I don't know what else to say or do.
I hide a lot of things from my therapist and it ranges from my mood disorder such as getting irritated, yelling at my boyfriend, making impulsive decisions to message people, etc... (so many more...)
I'm not sure how to go forward with these feelings.. I feel so lost.
I feel absolutely disappointed in myself as I sit here after a night at the bar realizing that I can't have my boyfriend paying for my drinks all the time, paying for my gas. I don't want to live like that. I want to be able to get my degree, get a good job to provide, make the people around me proud and happy, make myself proud and happy. I can't help but ask myself what have I been doing with my life.
I want to be normal. I want to graduate college, get a good job. Provide, take care of the people I love. There are so many things I want to accomplish, but will I even have time????? I'm so lost guys. I really need some other opinions and perspectives, maybe it will help me realize on a different angle.

Around a month ago I (20M) confessed that I still had feelings for a female friend of mine that I had known for a little more than 2 years. Around 6 months after we had first met, she started dating her current boyfriend. Around that time, I had just received a confession from another friend, who I am now dating (and am very happy with), because I needed to get the feelings out of my chest before I could comfortably start a new chapter of my life.
At the time she seemed to take it alright, but after taking time to process it, told me last night that she had felt threatened and disrespected by our conversation. We talked it out. She asked me if I still wanted to be friends because she thought we were very close and would be hurt if we couldn't be friends anymore.
I wasn't able to give her a proper answer then, but thinking now, I have not been able to feel close to her or truly trust her for a long time now. This feeling really escalated in the past month when she naturally built up walls (to protect herself and her partner) and I felt this sense of bad tension. I am fearful-avoidant and reflect the energy others give me, so when I felt tension, I withdrew. I often pull away from people to avoid getting hurt myself, and I have low self esteem so I can't fathom why she likes me platonically so much, to the point where she hadn't introduced her boyfriend to our shared friendship group because she was afraid of my reaction.
Now I just wonder if I've done the wrong thing in this scenario. I know logically that it sends a bad message if I'm unable to be friends with her if she's no longer a romantic prospect. Although, I do have other very close female friends, and I am also bisexual, so I don't think I intended for it to be this case. I just can't help but feel uncomfortable (as it has been in the past 6 months or so) when I'm around here and I feel ignored or unappreciated or overlooked, as if I'm never good enough. I know she has verbalised that she cares about me, thinks I'm cool and hot and all that jazz, and treasures the times we spend together, but I need time away from her. It's complicated when the person I'm now dating is close friends with her as well.
What's the best way to approach this? Am I hurting her? How do I do this so that I am not hurt either?