Example teacher follow up letter

Hey everyone,
I've had multiple interactions with GPT-4o, and I've noticed a frustrating pattern. Every time I use it, the experience starts off either really well with an amazing first response and good follow-ups, or it goes from bad to worse.
In the cases where it starts well, after the third or fourth message, GPT-4o seems to get "stuck" in a particular response pattern. No matter what new instructions or prompts I give, it keeps replying in the same structure as before. It's almost like it develops a personality and can't break free from it. The responses become increasingly less useful and more repetitive as the conversation goes on.
For example:

• If it starts replying in bullet points and you ask for no more bullet points, it will continue the same structure for at least 2 or 3 more replies.
• If you're talking about code and ask for a change, but it doesn't follow your instructions the first time, and you were discussing that code for a few messages before, it won't follow your instructions at all again.

As soon as 2 or 3 messages have a similar pattern, you can expect every response to follow the same pattern, regardless of your new instructions.
Has anyone else encountered this problem with GPT-4o? If so, how did you deal with it? Is there a way to reset its response pattern mid-conversation, or you just start a new conversation?

So I had previously written on how my wife emotionally abused me over my porn addiction and sexting before marriage to get what she wanted and then use my past and childhood trauma against me .
https://www.reddit.com/AsOneAfterInfidelity/comments/1cnqcox/im_not_angry_my_wife_was_involved_in_emotional/
Then her sister intevened and then we decided to move ahead . It was good for 2 weeks but then I asked him how she is going to close with AP. She said she will tell him directly but then they were going to office at different times but could not meet .
So I told her to call him in front of me and close it . She she did this .
She called and said to him to stop chatting as her husband saw the chats and he said I'm sorry I only talked like a friend etc.
I got pissed and we had another fight . This time she was angry why I'm pissed even though she ended it . I said she didn't end with telling him what he did instead made me look like a suspicious husband.
I said she would rather be polite with a guy who almost ended her marriage and can even end even now. But she said again
" Look i didn't have sex with him"
Don't make it look like an ievement, you are just months or weeks away from that .
I said " tell that your husband didn't get any evidence of you indulging in physical affair "
And brought up a trip .
Context: Around 8 months ago , she asked if she can go to a colleague wedding in another city and I agreed. But apparently she wasn't happy with the way I nodded.
I called the day she reached and she said she is in a resort. I got pissed, she has gone with 3 male and one female colleague to resort a day before marriage and did rafting , sailing etc.
When she came back and I asked her why she didn't tell, she said i never asked about it so she never told and her mom and sisters know about it .
This caused a huge fight over permission but I never suspected her of cheating but rather not asking me before she went .
I said I don't have evidence of what you did at that resort and it's human nature to protect their friends so I won't even ask them ass they will cover for you .
I know there is a high chance she didn't but I wanted to hurt her for the hurt she caused.
This causes even more issues and we had an intervention. I thought this is becoming one sided so I told this time my sister will do it . But she still brought their sister to her house .
Initially while we started talking, her other sister said to my sister " actually it's not even cheating at all" . I got pissed and it set the tone.
Unlike last time,this time her sisters kept pitching in and tempers were raising.
Also I had told my wife to stay away from priya who was the other married woman in that trip and she has deleted their chats the next day . I asked her to get it from Priya and she says Priya accidentally deleted it .
This made me angry and i said you are a whore who definitely had sex in that trip and some other bad words .
My sister and later POS brother in law(my sister's husband) kept telling me , look what happened, happened.
Think about the kids, I'm a teacher and i know how tough it is for single parent child in a country.
I said that they are not understanding that I forgave her once but her follow up action made me more angry and suspicious.
Then my pos brother-in-law started shouting that I'm a person who repeat same thing, living in past, keeps interrupting , why did I have kids when I leave like a coward etc
Why don't I sacrifice for my kids etc , thinking selfish etc .it almost led me to a shouting match and he challenged me for fist fight thinking I was just 14 when he married my sis even though he is 5'7 and I'm 5'11" .
Finally they all made me commit to counseling and then take a decision.
Now she and her sisters have made me look like a fool in front of my dysfunctional family which was the root cause for my depression in first place.
I just need a virtual hug from you because I feel that I've noone to talk to . Counselor always politically correct instead of telling someone what they feel like.
I'm so down. There is not a single person who can understand what I feel like . Everyone is talking of saving marriage but not about saving my soul which she crushed and then cheated me

Sorry if I mess up I am new to Reddit. I work a job on a university campus. Most of the staff team is being moved to other buildings on campus due to openings or issues with our boss. The whole semester our staff team has had issues following orders from our boss and issues connecting with one another. The other day I had my mandatory end of semester individual meeting with my boss. She asked me at the end of the meeting if I had any questions or concerns about the future. I said I was nervous for the new staff because I had issues getting along with this staff team. My boss had asked me to explain. I said they were leaving but I had issues getting along some team members. I told my boss they tended to make comments that was rude. My boss asked me to explain. I explained that a team member, let’s call her team member c, had called me dumb often. For example if do something like miss a knock on a door and laugh and say something jokingly like “I’m so stupid”. team member a would often say something along the lines of “I didn’t say it” or “you said it not me”. She would do this at least once a month. She then once said to me and my friend that we were like tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum. She then looked me in the face and said “and your friend isn’t tweedle-dum.” I didn’t tell my boss this but she constantly talks shit about another coworker, coworker d. Team member c, Often belittles coworker d saying how she often is wrong and not to listen to coworker d. Once team member c told coworker d to her face that “no offense but she wants to ask someone with more experience.” When coworker d got coworker of the year, team member c then complained about how she didn’t deserve it and asked me if I voted for coworker d. When I said yes, she proceeded to give me side eyes and then complain to another coworker about how I shouldn’t have voted for coworker d. Well team member c got moved buildings. when she did, she was complaining to me about it and telling me how she feels bad for another coworker because she’s with all rookies. I have worked a semester, but team member c refuses to call us vets because we haven’t worked a fall semester. team member c then proceeded to say how she feels bad because “me, coworker a, and coworker b are all technically bad at our jobs”. team member c then went down to coworker a and told coworker a that “me, coworker a, and coworker b are all bad job position and how we weren’t good at first.” I told this to my boss without mentioning a name. Well my boss asked me to say who team member c was and that I wouldn’t get in trouble and that they wouldn’t tell her anything. I told her team member c’s name. After the meeting my boss asked me to schedule another meeting with her on another day. I met with my boss and my boss told me that she is going to talk to team member c about how to appropriately talk to other coworkers. I told my boss I wasn’t comfortable with that and didn’t want that. My boss told me that she shouldn’t have said those things to begin with. I talked to coworker a and told coworker a what happened and coworker a told me coworker d had also talked to our boss about team member c’s behavior and that coworker a had also told our boss that team member c has a habit of degrading us (team member c tends to treat me and coworker a like children often talking down to us). I left the campus the next day. I checked my phone when I got home and saw that another coworker, let’s call her coworker f, had put me and coworker a into a separate group chat and asked if me and coworker a had told the boss she was rude to us. Coworkers name had only once been mentioned in my meeting and all I had said was that we just didn’t get along, so when I saw that message I got worried that my boss misunderstood and thought coworker f was also treating me like team member c. I texted my boss asking if she talked to coworker f because of what I said about team member c. My boss said no I was not a factor in why coworker f had been talked too. My boss then asked me if coworker f was singling people out or coming about it rudely. I said no she had simply asked if someone complained about her and she was not rude at all. I then messaged my boss saying I was just worried if she had talked to coworker f because of what I said about team member c. My boss then messaged me saying no, and to reiterate her talk had nothing to do with my talk with her. Anyway after that started to feel really bad that I told my boss about team member c. I feel guilty that I got team member c in trouble. The more I think about it the more I think I probably should have kept it to myself and not said anything. I’m starting to question if team member c wasn’t that bad and I am just being sensitive. Am I the asshole for telling my boss about team member c?

So I had previously written on how my wife emotionally abused me over my porn addiction and sexting before marriage to get what she wanted and then use my past and childhood trauma against me .
https://www.reddit.com/AsOneAfterInfidelity/comments/1cnqcox/im_not_angry_my_wife_was_involved_in_emotional/
Then her sister intevened and then we decided to move ahead . It was good for 2 weeks but then I asked him how she is going to close with AP. She said she will tell him directly but then they were going to office at different times but could not meet .
So I told her to call him in front of me and close it . She she did this .
She called and said to him to stop chatting as her husband saw the chats and he said I'm sorry I only talked like a friend etc.
I got pissed and we had another fight . This time she was angry why I'm pissed even though she ended it . I said she didn't end with telling him what he did instead made me look like a suspicious husband.
I said she would rather be polite with a guy who almost ended her marriage and can even end even now. But she said again
" Look i didn't have sex with him"
Don't make it look like an ievement, you are just months or weeks away from that .
I said " tell that your husband didn't get any evidence of you indulging in physical affair "
And brought up a trip .
Context: Around 8 months ago , she asked if she can go to a colleague wedding in another city and I agreed. But apparently she wasn't happy with the way I nodded.
I called the day she reached and she said she is in a resort. I got pissed, she has gone with 3 male and one female colleague to resort a day before marriage and did rafting , sailing etc.
When she came back and I asked her why she didn't tell, she said i never asked about it so she never told and her mom and sisters know about it .
This caused a huge fight over permission but I never suspected her of cheating but rather not asking me before she went .
I said I don't have evidence of what you did at that resort and it's human nature to protect their friends so I won't even ask them ass they will cover for you .
I know there is a high chance she didn't but I wanted to hurt her for the hurt she caused.
This causes even more issues and we had an intervention. I thought this is becoming one sided so I told this time my sister will do it . But she still brought their sister to her house .
Initially while we started talking, her other sister said to my sister " actually it's not even cheating at all" . I got pissed and it set the tone.
Unlike last time,this time her sisters kept pitching in and tempers were raising.
Also I had told my wife to stay away from priya who was the other married woman in that trip and she has deleted their chats the next day . I asked her to get it from Priya and she says Priya accidentally deleted it .
This made me angry and i said you are a whore who definitely had sex in that trip and some other bad words .
My sister and later POS brother in law(my sister's husband) kept telling me , look what happened, happened.
Think about the kids, I'm a teacher and i know how tough it is for single parent child in a country.
I said that they are not understanding that I forgave her once but her follow up action made me more angry and suspicious.
Then my pos brother-in-law started shouting that I'm a person who repeat same thing, living in past, keeps interrupting , why did I have kids when I leave like a coward etc
Why don't I sacrifice for my kids etc , thinking selfish etc .it almost led me to a shouting match and he challenged me for fist fight thinking I was just 14 when he married my sis even though he is 5'7 and I'm 5'11" .
Finally they all made me commit to counseling and then take a decision.
Now she and her sisters have made me look like a fool in front of my dysfunctional family which was the root cause for my depression in first place.
I just need a virtual hug from you because I feel that I've noone to talk to . Counselor always politically correct instead of telling someone what they feel like.
I'm so down. There is not a single person who can understand what I feel like . Everyone is talking of saving marriage but not about saving my soul which she crushed and then cheated me

Firstly, I'd like to state that, as always, I am not trying to police what anyone write. Fanfiction is for the writer first and foremost, so I'm just trying to start a discussion.
I find reaction fics, despite being a fairly odd concept, to be a fun idea, and I enjoy reading them. That said, there is one big complaint I have when it comes to them; bloated casts.
The larger you make your cast, the more reactions you have to write from each character, and the more likely their reactions will blend together. How do you write everyone from Classes 1-A, 1-B, their parents, their teachers, and all of the other pro-heroes while still giving relevance too every character? Whatever the theoretical answer, the practically always results in most characters only get a few lines per chapter. At that point, why not just cut a few characters out?
The problem is amplified when you start to mix heroes and villains together. Why would Shigaraki, Dabi, or Toga care about something horrific they see, when they are serial murderers? They wouldn't, and they would most likely mock the heroes who do care. This mean that the reaction fic either turns into a "Deku and Shigaraki bickering fic", or you have to write the villains OOC.
When you need to have your own ASB/ROB step in and stop the cast from getting out of control and/or fighting each other, it starts to feel unwieldy.
I would suggest looking at whatever media/fic you are using as the subject of reaction, and then limit yourself based on that.
Are you writing a fic where the cast reacts to the series? Consider limiting yourself to just 1-A, 1-B, or the LoV, rather than all three. 1-A gets the opportunity to reflect on what has happened to them, whilst also getting forewarning about what may happen in the future. 1-B gets to see that their "rivals" actually lead pretty terrifying lives, and maybe they should tone down the interclass rivalry rhetoric. The LoV also gets the chance to reflect, but in a different way. All of the potential dynamics are heavily muted when the three are combined into one.
For that matter, going even smaller than Class 1-A might be a good idea. Writing, say, just Deku, his immediate group of friends, and, possibly, Bakugou, would allow you to focus much more intimately on each character. You would lose width, yes, but you might gain depth.
To give an example of what I mean, one of the best reaction fics I have ever read is a RWBY fic titled Describing The Series Via References. In the fic, Team RWBY receives a mysterious device which informs them that, in another universe, there is a show that, by sheer cosmic coincidence, happens to line up exactly with the major events of their lives, including their futures.
They are then given the ability to use this device to learn about the future, with a single caveat: the only thing they have access to is the memes within the FNDM. They can see what volume the memes come from, but they have no other context for them, resulting in Team RWBY having to attempt to avert disaster by figuring out what the memes mean.
One interesting element of the story is the culture clash. Team RWBY don't get all of the references made, because most of the outside media referenced simply does not exist in their world. They here the name "Zootopia", and assume from the name that it is a bigoted film about faunus. They hear the word "furry", and are horrified, because that word is a grievous anti-faunus slur in their world. There is a meme that calls Ren a "Genji main", but Team RWBY have no idea what that means, because Overwatch doesn't exist in their world.
None of these references are explained to them, either. They have to figure things out on their own, and sometimes they just have to accept that they aren't going to understand a reference. Furthermore, they don't just idle with this information, they whatever they can figure out in order to stop bad things from happening in the future.
Eventually, another character, Penny, joins them after they discover memes that expose her biggest secret early, which results in them having an earlier and deeper friendship with her. At the end of the day, however, the fic limits itself to five primary characters, and it benefits immensely from that.
That's about all I had to say. Again, write what you want, I was just curious to see what others thought of this.
Also, sorry if this post is written badly, I just got out of bed in the middle of the night and decided to type this up.
EDIT: Fixed a spelling mistake, though there are probably many more.

So I had previously written on how my wife emotionally abused me over my porn addiction and sexting before marriage to get what she wanted and then use my past and childhood trauma against me .
https://www.reddit.com/AsOneAfterInfidelity/comments/1cnqcox/im_not_angry_my_wife_was_involved_in_emotional/
Then her sister intevened and then we decided to move ahead . It was good for 2 weeks but then I asked him how she is going to close with AP. She said she will tell him directly but then they were going to office at different times but could not meet .
So I told her to call him in front of me and close it . She she did this .
She called and said to him to stop chatting as her husband saw the chats and he said I'm sorry I only talked like a friend etc.
I got pissed and we had another fight . This time she was angry why I'm pissed even though she ended it . I said she didn't end with telling him what he did instead made me look like a suspicious husband.
I said she would rather be polite with a guy who almost ended her marriage and can even end even now. But she said again
" Look i didn't have sex with him"
Don't make it look like an ievement, you are just months or weeks away from that .
I said " tell that your husband didn't get any evidence of you indulging in physical affair "
And brought up a trip .
Context: Around 8 months ago , she asked if she can go to a colleague wedding in another city and I agreed. But apparently she wasn't happy with the way I nodded.
I called the day she reached and she said she is in a resort. I got pissed, she has gone with 3 male and one female colleague to resort a day before marriage and did rafting , sailing etc.
When she came back and I asked her why she didn't tell, she said i never asked about it so she never told and her mom and sisters know about it .
This caused a huge fight over permission but I never suspected her of cheating but rather not asking me before she went .
I said I don't have evidence of what you did at that resort and it's human nature to protect their friends so I won't even ask them ass they will cover for you .
I know there is a high chance she didn't but I wanted to hurt her for the hurt she caused.
This causes even more issues and we had an intervention. I thought this is becoming one sided so I told this time my sister will do it . But she still brought their sister to her house .
Initially while we started talking, her other sister said to my sister " actually it's not even cheating at all" . I got pissed and it set the tone.
Unlike last time,this time her sisters kept pitching in and tempers were raising.
Also I had told my wife to stay away from priya who was the other married woman in that trip and she has deleted their chats the next day . I asked her to get it from Priya and she says Priya accidentally deleted it .
This made me angry and i said you are a whore who definitely had sex in that trip and some other bad words .
My sister and later POS brother in law(my sister's husband) kept telling me , look what happened, happened.
Think about the kids, I'm a teacher and i know how tough it is for single parent child in a country.
I said that they are not understanding that I forgave her once but her follow up action made me more angry and suspicious.
Then my pos brother-in-law started shouting that I'm a person who repeat same thing, living in past, keeps interrupting , why did I have kids when I leave like a coward etc
Why don't I sacrifice for my kids etc , thinking selfish etc .it almost led me to a shouting match and he challenged me for fist fight thinking I was just 14 when he married my sis even though he is 5'7 and I'm 5'11" .
Finally they all made me commit to counseling and then take a decision.
Now she and her sisters have made me look like a fool in front of my dysfunctional family which was the root cause for my depression in first place.
I just need a virtual hug from you because I feel that I've noone to talk to . Counselor always politically correct instead of telling someone what they feel like.
I'm so down. There is not a single person who can understand what I feel like . Everyone is talking of saving marriage but not about saving my soul which she crushed and then cheated me

Me and my ex are currently doing no contact. She knows how much I love her as I already write her a very heartfelt letter saying so. We’ve talked about how we can’t see each other with other people and how much we love each other even after the breakup. Yet long story short me and my ex had a little drawn out break up. I tried to make things work for a month after she first broke up with me. She said she needed to be alone a month later. I kept calling her and she agreed to, up until about a week ago she asked for me to take a step back. I agreed and didn’t message her and her birthday went by within those days. I still didn’t message her. She saw me downtown that night and cried to me and vented and was mad that I didn’t wish her a happy birthday. She asked to apologize and meet up in person the night after. That night we only talked super formally and only about how we’re looking forward to healing.
My one concern is that through that whole conversation, I didn’t make it clear that I still want to try again for a relationship with her. Earlier that day when she had initially apologized for crying and venting to me, I responded with as heartfelt and mature of a response that I could give, including me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over,” then continuing to be optimistic about our healing processes. While I have made it know ever since our initial breakup two months ago up until a few days ago when we had that talk that I really want to make things work, I feel like given how I responded to her request for space, didn’t wish her a happy birthday, acknowledged that what we had is over, and me not even bringing up how I want to try again in the future will make her believe that I’m just truly completely over trying for her, which couldn’t be further from the truth.
For additional context, we had drawn out the breakup simply because we have so much love for one another other. We were each other’s first bf/gf. This whole process was all about her needing space and needing to be alone right now. She had said once or twice that if this is meant to be then it will be. Yet I’m scared that she might take me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over” as a sign of me not wanting to try anymore. She never gave me a direct statement of her saying how we are completely over. She had said enough times to me that this is a breakup. How she needs to be alone right now. How she needs her space. And she doesn’t know for how long. Yet I’m afraid that I might have said the wrong words and followed through with actions that don’t truly align with my true incentives. I can easily tell that the conversation that we had was all the closure that she needed to officially move on from me and to start living her life completely without me. She is a very healthy woman who looks at the world through a very healthy, optimistic and peaceful perspective. Due to this it seems like she wouldn't’ be the type to hold onto something like this after getting closure like that.
I only acted that way and didn’t speak to her and didn’t bring up any future aspirations of rekindling with her just do not disrupt her emotions any further as I know that this is a tough time for the both of us.I currently work with her yet she put her two weeks in already and I have my final shift with her this Sunday night. I’m contemplating if it’s a good idea for me to tell her one last time that I’m still interested in trying again in the future.
Should I use our last shift working together as an opportunity to tell her that I still want to try again for a relationship in the future? I really miss her and still love her and care about her deeply. This whole process has just been really hard and I feel the need to use this last in person chance as an opportunity to show her that I’m still interested in her. I feel like she’s the love of my life and I’ve told her that throughout the past 2 months. Please let me know if you guys think that this is a good idea.
​
TLDR: I feel as though I gave off the wrong impression with my ex over the past few days. Unintentionally letting her think that I’m completely done with her and wanting to move on when that couldn’t be further from the truth. She is a very mature, peaceful, healthy and optimistic woman, and given all of the closure that she just got combined with my misleading intentions, I fear that she will officially let me go given that I was the one who wanted to hold on and make things work when she first asked for space. I still really love her and care about her deeply and feel as though she’s the one for me. Should I use our last shift working together to tell her how I still want to try again for a relationship in the future?

Me and my ex are currently doing no contact. She knows how much I love her as I already write her a very heartfelt letter saying so. We’ve talked about how we can’t see each other with other people and how much we love each other even after the breakup. Yet long story short me and my ex had a little drawn out break up. I tried to make things work for a month after she first broke up with me. She said she needed to be alone a month later. I kept calling her and she agreed to, up until about a week ago she asked for me to take a step back. I agreed and didn’t message her and her birthday went by within those days. I still didn’t message her. She saw me downtown that night and cried to me and vented and was mad that I didn’t wish her a happy birthday. She asked to apologize and meet up in person the night after. That night we only talked super formally and only about how we’re looking forward to healing.
My one concern is that through that whole conversation, I didn’t make it clear that I still want to try again for a relationship with her. Earlier that day when she had initially apologized for crying and venting to me, I responded with as heartfelt and mature of a response that I could give, including me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over,” then continuing to be optimistic about our healing processes. While I have made it know ever since our initial breakup two months ago up until a few days ago when we had that talk that I really want to make things work, I feel like given how I responded to her request for space, didn’t wish her a happy birthday, acknowledged that what we had is over, and me not even bringing up how I want to try again in the future will make her believe that I’m just truly completely over trying for her, which couldn’t be further from the truth.
For additional context, we had drawn out the breakup simply because we have so much love for one another other. We were each other’s first bf/gf. This whole process was all about her needing space and needing to be alone right now. She had said once or twice that if this is meant to be then it will be. Yet I’m scared that she might take me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over” as a sign of me not wanting to try anymore. She never gave me a direct statement of her saying how we are completely over. She had said enough times to me that this is a breakup. How she needs to be alone right now. How she needs her space. And she doesn’t know for how long. Yet I’m afraid that I might have said the wrong words and followed through with actions that don’t truly align with my true incentives. I can easily tell that the conversation that we had was all the closure that she needed to officially move on from me and to start living her life completely without me. She is a very healthy woman who looks at the world through a very healthy, optimistic and peaceful perspective. Due to this it seems like she wouldn't’ be the type to hold onto something like this after getting closure like that.
I only acted that way and didn’t speak to her and didn’t bring up any future aspirations of rekindling with her just do not disrupt her emotions any further as I know that this is a tough time for the both of us.I currently work with her yet she put her two weeks in already and I have my final shift with her this Sunday night. I’m contemplating if it’s a good idea for me to tell her one last time that I’m still interested in trying again in the future.
Should I use our last shift working together as an opportunity to tell her that I still want to try again for a relationship in the future? I really miss her and still love her and care about her deeply. This whole process has just been really hard and I feel the need to use this last in person chance as an opportunity to show her that I’m still interested in her. I feel like she’s the love of my life and I’ve told her that throughout the past 2 months. Please let me know if you guys think that this is a good idea.
TLDR: I feel as though I gave off the wrong impression with my ex over the past few days. Unintentionally letting her think that I’m completely done with her and wanting to move on when that couldn’t be further from the truth. She is a very mature, peaceful, healthy and optimistic woman, and given all of the closure that she just got combined with my misleading intentions, I fear that she will officially let me go given that I was the one who wanted to hold on and make things work when she first asked for space. I still really love her and care about her deeply and feel as though she’s the one for me. Should I use our last shift working together to tell her how I still want to try again for a relationship in the future?

Me and my ex are currently doing no contact. She knows how much I love her as I already write her a very heartfelt letter saying so. We’ve talked about how we can’t see each other with other people and how much we love each other even after the breakup. Yet long story short me and my ex had a little drawn out break up. I tried to make things work for a month after she first broke up with me. She said she needed to be alone a month later. I kept calling her and she agreed to, up until about a week ago she asked for me to take a step back. I agreed and didn’t message her and her birthday went by within those days. I still didn’t message her. She saw me downtown that night and cried to me and vented and was mad that I didn’t wish her a happy birthday. She asked to apologize and meet up in person the night after. That night we only talked super formally and only about how we’re looking forward to healing.
My one concern is that through that whole conversation, I didn’t make it clear that I still want to try again for a relationship with her. Earlier that day when she had initially apologized for crying and venting to me, I responded with as heartfelt and mature of a response that I could give, including me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over,” then continuing to be optimistic about our healing processes. While I have made it know ever since our initial breakup two months ago up until a few days ago when we had that talk that I really want to make things work, I feel like given how I responded to her request for space, didn’t wish her a happy birthday, acknowledged that what we had is over, and me not even bringing up how I want to try again in the future will make her believe that I’m just truly completely over trying for her, which couldn’t be further from the truth.
For additional context, we had drawn out the breakup simply because we have so much love for one another other. We were each other’s first bf/gf. This whole process was all about her needing space and needing to be alone right now. She had said once or twice that if this is meant to be then it will be. Yet I’m scared that she might take me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over” as a sign of me not wanting to try anymore. She never gave me a direct statement of her saying how we are completely over. She had said enough times to me that this is a breakup. How she needs to be alone right now. How she needs her space. And she doesn’t know for how long. Yet I’m afraid that I might have said the wrong words and followed through with actions that don’t truly align with my true incentives. I can easily tell that the conversation that we had was all the closure that she needed to officially move on from me and to start living her life completely without me. She is a very healthy woman who looks at the world through a very healthy, optimistic and peaceful perspective. Due to this it seems like she wouldn't’ be the type to hold onto something like this after getting closure like that.
I only acted that way and didn’t speak to her and didn’t bring up any future aspirations of rekindling with her just do not disrupt her emotions any further as I know that this is a tough time for the both of us.I currently work with her yet she put her two weeks in already and I have my final shift with her this Sunday night. I’m contemplating if it’s a good idea for me to tell her one last time that I’m still interested in trying again in the future.
Should I use our last shift working together as an opportunity to tell her that I still want to try again for a relationship in the future? I really miss her and still love her and care about her deeply. This whole process has just been really hard and I feel the need to use this last in person chance as an opportunity to show her that I’m still interested in her. I feel like she’s the love of my life and I’ve told her that throughout the past 2 months. Please let me know if you guys think that this is a good idea.
​
TLDR: I feel as though I gave off the wrong impression with my ex over the past few days. Unintentionally letting her think that I’m completely done with her and wanting to move on when that couldn’t be further from the truth. She is a very mature, peaceful, healthy and optimistic woman, and given all of the closure that she just got combined with my misleading intentions, I fear that she will officially let me go given that I was the one who wanted to hold on and make things work when she first asked for space. I still really love her and care about her deeply and feel as though she’s the one for me. Should I use our last shift working together to tell her how I still want to try again for a relationship in the future?

Me and my ex are currently doing no contact. She knows how much I love her as I already write her a very heartfelt letter saying so. We’ve talked about how we can’t see each other with other people and how much we love each other even after the breakup. Yet long story short me and my ex had a little drawn out break up. I tried to make things work for a month after she first broke up with me. She said she needed to be alone a month later. I kept calling her and she agreed to, up until about a week ago she asked for me to take a step back. I agreed and didn’t message her and her birthday went by within those days. I still didn’t message her. She saw me downtown that night and cried to me and vented and was mad that I didn’t wish her a happy birthday. She asked to apologize and meet up in person the night after. That night we only talked super formally and only about how we’re looking forward to healing.
My one concern is that through that whole conversation, I didn’t make it clear that I still want to try again for a relationship with her. Earlier that day when she had initially apologized for crying and venting to me, I responded with as heartfelt and mature of a response that I could give, including me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over,” then continuing to be optimistic about our healing processes. While I have made it know ever since our initial breakup two months ago up until a few days ago when we had that talk that I really want to make things work, I feel like given how I responded to her request for space, didn’t wish her a happy birthday, acknowledged that what we had is over, and me not even bringing up how I want to try again in the future will make her believe that I’m just truly completely over trying for her, which couldn’t be further from the truth.
For additional context, we had drawn out the breakup simply because we have so much love for one another other. We were each other’s first bf/gf. This whole process was all about her needing space and needing to be alone right now. She had said once or twice that if this is meant to be then it will be. Yet I’m scared that she might take me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over” as a sign of me not wanting to try anymore. She never gave me a direct statement of her saying how we are completely over. She had said enough times to me that this is a breakup. How she needs to be alone right now. How she needs her space. And she doesn’t know for how long. Yet I’m afraid that I might have said the wrong words and followed through with actions that don’t truly align with my true incentives. I can easily tell that the conversation that we had was all the closure that she needed to officially move on from me and to start living her life completely without me. She is a very healthy woman who looks at the world through a very healthy, optimistic and peaceful perspective. Due to this it seems like she wouldn't’ be the type to hold onto something like this after getting closure like that.
I only acted that way and didn’t speak to her and didn’t bring up any future aspirations of rekindling with her just do not disrupt her emotions any further as I know that this is a tough time for the both of us.I currently work with her yet she put her two weeks in already and I have my final shift with her this Sunday night. I’m contemplating if it’s a good idea for me to tell her one last time that I’m still interested in trying again in the future.
Should I use our last shift working together as an opportunity to tell her that I still want to try again for a relationship in the future? I really miss her and still love her and care about her deeply. This whole process has just been really hard and I feel the need to use this last in person chance as an opportunity to show her that I’m still interested in her. I feel like she’s the love of my life and I’ve told her that throughout the past 2 months. Please let me know if you guys think that this is a good idea.
​
TLDR: I feel as though I gave off the wrong impression with my ex over the past few days. Unintentionally letting her think that I’m completely done with her and wanting to move on when that couldn’t be further from the truth. She is a very mature, peaceful, healthy and optimistic woman, and given all of the closure that she just got combined with my misleading intentions, I fear that she will officially let me go given that I was the one who wanted to hold on and make things work when she first asked for space. I still really love her and care about her deeply and feel as though she’s the one for me. Should I use our last shift working together to tell her how I still want to try again for a relationship in the future?

Me and my ex are currently doing no contact. She knows how much I love her as I already write her a very heartfelt letter saying so. We’ve talked about how we can’t see each other with other people and how much we love each other even after the breakup. Yet long story short me and my ex had a little drawn out break up. I tried to make things work for a month after she first broke up with me. She said she needed to be alone a month later. I kept calling her and she agreed to, up until about a week ago she asked for me to take a step back. I agreed and didn’t message her and her birthday went by within those days. I still didn’t message her. She saw me downtown that night and cried to me and vented and was mad that I didn’t wish her a happy birthday. She asked to apologize and meet up in person the night after. That night we only talked super formally and only about how we’re looking forward to healing.
My one concern is that through that whole conversation, I didn’t make it clear that I still want to try again for a relationship with her. Earlier that day when she had initially apologized for crying and venting to me, I responded with as heartfelt and mature of a response that I could give, including me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over,” then continuing to be optimistic about our healing processes. While I have made it know ever since our initial breakup two months ago up until a few days ago when we had that talk that I really want to make things work, I feel like given how I responded to her request for space, didn’t wish her a happy birthday, acknowledged that what we had is over, and me not even bringing up how I want to try again in the future will make her believe that I’m just truly completely over trying for her, which couldn’t be further from the truth.
For additional context, we had drawn out the breakup simply because we have so much love for one another other. We were each other’s first bf/gf. This whole process was all about her needing space and needing to be alone right now. She had said once or twice that if this is meant to be then it will be. Yet I’m scared that she might take me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over” as a sign of me not wanting to try anymore. She never gave me a direct statement of her saying how we are completely over. She had said enough times to me that this is a breakup. How she needs to be alone right now. How she needs her space. And she doesn’t know for how long. Yet I’m afraid that I might have said the wrong words and followed through with actions that don’t truly align with my true incentives. I can easily tell that the conversation that we had was all the closure that she needed to officially move on from me and to start living her life completely without me. She is a very healthy woman who looks at the world through a very healthy, optimistic and peaceful perspective. Due to this it seems like she wouldn't’ be the type to hold onto something like this after getting closure like that.
I only acted that way and didn’t speak to her and didn’t bring up any future aspirations of rekindling with her just do not disrupt her emotions any further as I know that this is a tough time for the both of us.I currently work with her yet she put her two weeks in already and I have my final shift with her this Sunday night. I’m contemplating if it’s a good idea for me to tell her one last time that I’m still interested in trying again in the future.
Should I use our last shift working together as an opportunity to tell her that I still want to try again for a relationship in the future? I really miss her and still love her and care about her deeply. This whole process has just been really hard and I feel the need to use this last in person chance as an opportunity to show her that I’m still interested in her. I feel like she’s the love of my life and I’ve told her that throughout the past 2 months. Please let me know if you guys think that this is a good idea.
TLDR: I feel as though I gave off the wrong impression with my ex over the past few days. Unintentionally letting her think that I’m completely done with her and wanting to move on when that couldn’t be further from the truth. She is a very mature, peaceful, healthy and optimistic woman, and given all of the closure that she just got combined with my misleading intentions, I fear that she will officially let me go given that I was the one who wanted to hold on and make things work when she first asked for space. I still really love her and care about her deeply and feel as though she’s the one for me. Should I use our last shift working together to tell her how I still want to try again for a relationship in the future?

Me and my ex are currently doing no contact. She knows how much I love her as I already write her a very heartfelt letter saying so. We’ve talked about how we can’t see each other with other people and how much we love each other even after the breakup. Yet long story short me and my ex had a little drawn out break up. I tried to make things work for a month after she first broke up with me. She said she needed to be alone a month later. I kept calling her and she agreed to, up until about a week ago she asked for me to take a step back. I agreed and didn’t message her and her birthday went by within those days. I still didn’t message her. She saw me downtown that night and cried to me and vented and was mad that I didn’t wish her a happy birthday. She asked to apologize and meet up in person the night after. That night we only talked super formally and only about how we’re looking forward to healing.
My one concern is that through that whole conversation, I didn’t make it clear that I still want to try again for a relationship with her. Earlier that day when she had initially apologized for crying and venting to me, I responded with as heartfelt and mature of a response that I could give, including me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over,” then continuing to be optimistic about our healing processes. While I have made it know ever since our initial breakup two months ago up until a few days ago when we had that talk that I really want to make things work, I feel like given how I responded to her request for space, didn’t wish her a happy birthday, acknowledged that what we had is over, and me not even bringing up how I want to try again in the future will make her believe that I’m just truly completely over trying for her, which couldn’t be further from the truth.
For additional context, we had drawn out the breakup simply because we have so much love for one another other. We were each other’s first bf/gf. This whole process was all about her needing space and needing to be alone right now. She had said once or twice that if this is meant to be then it will be. Yet I’m scared that she might take me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over” as a sign of me not wanting to try anymore. She never gave me a direct statement of her saying how we are completely over. She had said enough times to me that this is a breakup. How she needs to be alone right now. How she needs her space. And she doesn’t know for how long. Yet I’m afraid that I might have said the wrong words and followed through with actions that don’t truly align with my true incentives. I can easily tell that the conversation that we had was all the closure that she needed to officially move on from me and to start living her life completely without me. She is a very healthy woman who looks at the world through a very healthy, optimistic and peaceful perspective. Due to this it seems like she wouldn't’ be the type to hold onto something like this after getting closure like that.
I only acted that way and didn’t speak to her and didn’t bring up any future aspirations of rekindling with her just do not disrupt her emotions any further as I know that this is a tough time for the both of us.I currently work with her yet she put her two weeks in already and I have my final shift with her this Sunday night. I’m contemplating if it’s a good idea for me to tell her one last time that I’m still interested in trying again in the future.
Should I use our last shift working together as an opportunity to tell her that I still want to try again for a relationship in the future? I really miss her and still love her and care about her deeply. This whole process has just been really hard and I feel the need to use this last in person chance as an opportunity to show her that I’m still interested in her. I feel like she’s the love of my life and I’ve told her that throughout the past 2 months. Please let me know if you guys think that this is a good idea.
​
TLDR: I feel as though I gave off the wrong impression with my ex over the past few days. Unintentionally letting her think that I’m completely done with her and wanting to move on when that couldn’t be further from the truth. She is a very mature, peaceful, healthy and optimistic woman, and given all of the closure that she just got combined with my misleading intentions, I fear that she will officially let me go given that I was the one who wanted to hold on and make things work when she first asked for space. I still really love her and care about her deeply and feel as though she’s the one for me. Should I use our last shift working together to tell her how I still want to try again for a relationship in the future?

I am 17 and live with my mom, her partner and my grandparents. The only family member that knows I'm trans is my mom and she doesn't support me in any way. She has known for over 2 years now and despite our many "discussions" where I cried and begged her to change my name in school papers, she still hasn't called me in any masculine form even once (note: in polish, every adjective and verb you use towards another person has to be gendered, example: zrobił (masc for 'did'), zrobiła (fem for 'did'). Before I even came out, she once yelled at me and said she's ashamed to admit I'm her kid, just because on that day I wore a 'boyish' outfit. Now she uses arguments such as that I'm just insecure about my femininity, that it's because of my social anxiety, that I'm searching for something to blame my other problems for, that I'm a kid and I don't know what I'm doing, that it's because I "walked away from god" and other shit, she even asked me to go to a fucking EXORCIST. The only thing I wanted her to do was to change my name in school since I can't do it myself as a minor, I never even expected to be called by my new name by her, I knew that expectation was pointless. Over time, I stopped caring about or expecting her support, because when I'm 18 i'll just do everything myself. But that's the problem. You see, my family is very conservative, especially my grandparents. I've heard them insult anything even slightly "progressive" (note: if not going to church is progressive, then being trans is the epitomy of wokeness that they demonize so much) many times, they always called any queer people deviants, pedos, evil, degenerates, said that I'm "the devil's follower" when I defended the lgbt movement that was demonized by the tv at the time. They don't know I'm trans, and they don't need to with things as they are right now, but once I'll turn 18 and finally start medical transition, they will eventually know. Them throwing mean words at me when they do is not the problem, the problem is that it could geniuenly affect their health. Whenever I talked with my mom about it, she always emphasized that they cannot find out and that they could even get a heart attack. And I don't think she was exaggerating. See, if you live your whole life perceiving a certain thing as wrong, evil, spending years and years consuming political propaganda against a certain worldview that the thing is associated with, live in a bubble reassuring you that, yes, the thing is bad and you should never be that thing and then find out that your only grandchild is said thing, your reaction will be bad to say the least, especially if you're old and have health issues. It would really not be a problem if they just hated me as a queer person and wouldn't want to have anything to do with me, but I know they love me very much and they can't just treat me as any other trans person out there. They are a whole different generation with a different mentality and I know there's no way for them to accept those things, they don't need to, they don't need to accept me, but I don't want to cause them any actual mental or physical harm that finding out would bring them. At the same time, I don't want to keep being unhappy and living inside this female body just because of them, as bad as it sounds, I don't want to waste my whole youth waiting until they die to finally start living my life. The only person who supports me is my only friend who's trans too. I'm jealous of him, I feel awful for feeling that way, but feelings aren't something you can control. He's had his name changed in school only after 1 year of finding out he's trans. I've known that I'm a boy since I was 13 and still no progress in this regard. He's been treated as a boy by his class even before that change, and a teacher even went out of her way to offer him help just because he presented masculine and started calling him his name without the change in papers. In my case, some people in class do respect me, because I always introduced myself using my male name, others don't, I don't have any friends in class and I'm always included as one of the girls, the only teachers that know is one that won't call me using the male form in front of class, because "without permission from a parent, she could get in legal trouble", the other is my homeroom teacher who literally called me a boy on the very first day of high school when she had no idea who I was, but then she read my legal name and never adressed the topic ever again, even tho she heard countless times how I introduced myself with my male name. I'm glad that my friend is happy and I don't want to drag him down with me, but it doesn't change that I can't shake off that feeling of jealousy. My other friend said that "anime has fucked up my head" when I told her, and only started respecting it when I sent her a rant message about my life as a trans guy after she called me my deadname of social media. I had a girlfriend who cheated on me with a cis guy multiple times, he was so jealous of me being her boyfriend that he was beating me, started misgendering me despite being nice at the beggining and told me to overdose my antidepressants and kms. As a child, I've never been "boyish", I didn't like 'boys' toys, I've never liked sports, I've never had friends who were boys, I was a girly girl and that makes my mom conclude that I'm not really trans and makes even me have doubts, even tho for 4 years I've craved nothing else than having a male body and being seen as a boy. Every day I ask why I had to get gender dysphoria, it makes the whole life so much harder, I hate being trans, I wouldn't wish it on anyone, everything would be so much easier if I'd just be a girl.

Me and my ex are currently doing no contact. She knows how much I love her as I already write her a very heartfelt letter saying so. We’ve talked about how we can’t see each other with other people and how much we love each other even after the breakup. Yet long story short me and my ex had a little drawn out break up. I tried to make things work for a month after she first broke up with me. She said she needed to be alone a month later. I kept calling her and she agreed to, up until about a week ago she asked for me to take a step back. I agreed and didn’t message her and her birthday went by within those days. I still didn’t message her. She saw me downtown that night and cried to me and vented and was mad that I didn’t wish her a happy birthday. She asked to apologize and meet up in person the night after. That night we only talked super formally and only about how we’re looking forward to healing.
My one concern is that through that whole conversation, I didn’t make it clear that I still want to try again for a relationship with her. Earlier that day when she had initially apologized for crying and venting to me, I responded with as heartfelt and mature of a response that I could give, including me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over,” then continuing to be optimistic about our healing processes. While I have made it know ever since our initial breakup two months ago up until a few days ago when we had that talk that I really want to make things work, I feel like given how I responded to her request for space, didn’t wish her a happy birthday, acknowledged that what we had is over, and me not even bringing up how I want to try again in the future will make her believe that I’m just truly completely over trying for her, which couldn’t be further from the truth.
For additional context, we had drawn out the breakup simply because we have so much love for one another other. We were each other’s first bf/gf. This whole process was all about her needing space and needing to be alone right now. She had said once or twice that if this is meant to be then it will be. Yet I’m scared that she might take me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over” as a sign of me not wanting to try anymore. She never gave me a direct statement of her saying how we are completely over. She had said enough times to me that this is a breakup. How she needs to be alone right now. How she needs her space. And she doesn’t know for how long. Yet I’m afraid that I might have said the wrong words and followed through with actions that don’t truly align with my true incentives. I can easily tell that the conversation that we had was all the closure that she needed to officially move on from me and to start living her life completely without me. She is a very healthy woman who looks at the world through a very healthy, optimistic and peaceful perspective. Due to this it seems like she wouldn't’ be the type to hold onto something like this after getting closure like that.
I only acted that way and didn’t speak to her and didn’t bring up any future aspirations of rekindling with her just do not disrupt her emotions any further as I know that this is a tough time for the both of us.I currently work with her yet she put her two weeks in already and I have my final shift with her this Sunday night. I’m contemplating if it’s a good idea for me to tell her one last time that I’m still interested in trying again in the future.
Should I use our last shift working together as an opportunity to tell her that I still want to try again for a relationship in the future? I really miss her and still love her and care about her deeply. This whole process has just been really hard and I feel the need to use this last in person chance as an opportunity to show her that I’m still interested in her. I feel like she’s the love of my life and I’ve told her that throughout the past 2 months. Please let me know if you guys think that this is a good idea.
TLDR: I feel as though I gave off the wrong impression with my ex over the past few days. Unintentionally letting her think that I’m completely done with her and wanting to move on when that couldn’t be further from the truth. She is a very mature, peaceful, healthy and optimistic woman, and given all of the closure that she just got combined with my misleading intentions, I fear that she will officially let me go given that I was the one who wanted to hold on and make things work when she first asked for space. I still really love her and care about her deeply and feel as though she’s the one for me. Should I use our last shift working together to tell her how I still want to try again for a relationship in the future?

Me and my ex are currently doing no contact. She knows how much I love her as I already write her a very heartfelt letter saying so. We’ve talked about how we can’t see each other with other people and how much we love each other even after the breakup. Yet long story short me and my ex had a little drawn out break up. I tried to make things work for a month after she first broke up with me. She said she needed to be alone a month later. I kept calling her and she agreed to, up until about a week ago she asked for me to take a step back. I agreed and didn’t message her and her birthday went by within those days. I still didn’t message her. She saw me downtown that night and cried to me and vented and was mad that I didn’t wish her a happy birthday. She asked to apologize and meet up in person the night after. That night we only talked super formally and only about how we’re looking forward to healing.
My one concern is that through that whole conversation, I didn’t make it clear that I still want to try again for a relationship with her. Earlier that day when she had initially apologized for crying and venting to me, I responded with as heartfelt and mature of a response that I could give, including me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over,” then continuing to be optimistic about our healing processes. While I have made it know ever since our initial breakup two months ago up until a few days ago when we had that talk that I really want to make things work, I feel like given how I responded to her request for space, didn’t wish her a happy birthday, acknowledged that what we had is over, and me not even bringing up how I want to try again in the future will make her believe that I’m just truly completely over trying for her, which couldn’t be further from the truth.
For additional context, we had drawn out the breakup simply because we have so much love for one another other. We were each other’s first bf/gf. This whole process was all about her needing space and needing to be alone right now. She had said once or twice that if this is meant to be then it will be. Yet I’m scared that she might take me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over” as a sign of me not wanting to try anymore. She never gave me a direct statement of her saying how we are completely over. She had said enough times to me that this is a breakup. How she needs to be alone right now. How she needs her space. And she doesn’t know for how long. Yet I’m afraid that I might have said the wrong words and followed through with actions that don’t truly align with my true incentives. I can easily tell that the conversation that we had was all the closure that she needed to officially move on from me and to start living her life completely without me. She is a very healthy woman who looks at the world through a very healthy, optimistic and peaceful perspective. Due to this it seems like she wouldn't’ be the type to hold onto something like this after getting closure like that.
I only acted that way and didn’t speak to her and didn’t bring up any future aspirations of rekindling with her just do not disrupt her emotions any further as I know that this is a tough time for the both of us.I currently work with her yet she put her two weeks in already and I have my final shift with her this Sunday night. I’m contemplating if it’s a good idea for me to tell her one last time that I’m still interested in trying again in the future.
Should I use our last shift working together as an opportunity to tell her that I still want to try again for a relationship in the future? I really miss her and still love her and care about her deeply. This whole process has just been really hard and I feel the need to use this last in person chance as an opportunity to show her that I’m still interested in her. I feel like she’s the love of my life and I’ve told her that throughout the past 2 months. Please let me know if you guys think that this is a good idea.
​
TLDR: I feel as though I gave off the wrong impression with my ex over the past few days. Unintentionally letting her think that I’m completely done with her and wanting to move on when that couldn’t be further from the truth. She is a very mature, peaceful, healthy and optimistic woman, and given all of the closure that she just got combined with my misleading intentions, I fear that she will officially let me go given that I was the one who wanted to hold on and make things work when she first asked for space. I still really love her and care about her deeply and feel as though she’s the one for me. Should I use our last shift working together to tell her how I still want to try again for a relationship in the future?

Me and my ex are currently doing no contact. She knows how much I love her as I already write her a very heartfelt letter saying so. We’ve talked about how we can’t see each other with other people and how much we love each other even after the breakup. Yet long story short me and my ex had a little drawn out break up. I tried to make things work for a month after she first broke up with me. She said she needed to be alone a month later. I kept calling her and she agreed to, up until about a week ago she asked for me to take a step back. I agreed and didn’t message her and her birthday went by within those days. I still didn’t message her. She saw me downtown that night and cried to me and vented and was mad that I didn’t wish her a happy birthday. She asked to apologize and meet up in person the night after. That night we only talked super formally and only about how we’re looking forward to healing.
My one concern is that through that whole conversation, I didn’t make it clear that I still want to try again for a relationship with her. Earlier that day when she had initially apologized for crying and venting to me, I responded with as heartfelt and mature of a response that I could give, including me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over,” then continuing to be optimistic about our healing processes. While I have made it know ever since our initial breakup two months ago up until a few days ago when we had that talk that I really want to make things work, I feel like given how I responded to her request for space, didn’t wish her a happy birthday, acknowledged that what we had is over, and me not even bringing up how I want to try again in the future will make her believe that I’m just truly completely over trying for her, which couldn’t be further from the truth.
For additional context, we had drawn out the breakup simply because we have so much love for one another other. We were each other’s first bf/gf. This whole process was all about her needing space and needing to be alone right now. She had said once or twice that if this is meant to be then it will be. Yet I’m scared that she might take me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over” as a sign of me not wanting to try anymore. She never gave me a direct statement of her saying how we are completely over. She had said enough times to me that this is a breakup. How she needs to be alone right now. How she needs her space. And she doesn’t know for how long. Yet I’m afraid that I might have said the wrong words and followed through with actions that don’t truly align with my true incentives. I can easily tell that the conversation that we had was all the closure that she needed to officially move on from me and to start living her life completely without me. She is a very healthy woman who looks at the world through a very healthy, optimistic and peaceful perspective. Due to this it seems like she wouldn't’ be the type to hold onto something like this after getting closure like that.
I only acted that way and didn’t speak to her and didn’t bring up any future aspirations of rekindling with her just do not disrupt her emotions any further as I know that this is a tough time for the both of us.I currently work with her yet she put her two weeks in already and I have my final shift with her this Sunday night. I’m contemplating if it’s a good idea for me to tell her one last time that I’m still interested in trying again in the future.
Should I use our last shift working together as an opportunity to tell her that I still want to try again for a relationship in the future? I really miss her and still love her and care about her deeply. This whole process has just been really hard and I feel the need to use this last in person chance as an opportunity to show her that I’m still interested in her. I feel like she’s the love of my life and I’ve told her that throughout the past 2 months. Please let me know if you guys think that this is a good idea.
​
TLDR: I feel as though I gave off the wrong impression with my ex over the past few days. Unintentionally letting her think that I’m completely done with her and wanting to move on when that couldn’t be further from the truth. She is a very mature, peaceful, healthy and optimistic woman, and given all of the closure that she just got combined with my misleading intentions, I fear that she will officially let me go given that I was the one who wanted to hold on and make things work when she first asked for space. I still really love her and care about her deeply and feel as though she’s the one for me. Should I use our last shift working together to tell her how I still want to try again for a relationship in the future?

Me and my ex are currently doing no contact. She knows how much I love her as I already write her a very heartfelt letter saying so. We’ve talked about how we can’t see each other with other people and how much we love each other even after the breakup. Yet long story short me and my ex had a little drawn out break up. I tried to make things work for a month after she first broke up with me. She said she needed to be alone a month later. I kept calling her and she agreed to, up until about a week ago she asked for me to take a step back. I agreed and didn’t message her and her birthday went by within those days. I still didn’t message her. She saw me downtown that night and cried to me and vented and was mad that I didn’t wish her a happy birthday. She asked to apologize and meet up in person the night after. That night we only talked super formally and only about how we’re looking forward to healing.
My one concern is that through that whole conversation, I didn’t make it clear that I still want to try again for a relationship with her. Earlier that day when she had initially apologized for crying and venting to me, I responded with as heartfelt and mature of a response that I could give, including me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over,” then continuing to be optimistic about our healing processes. While I have made it know ever since our initial breakup two months ago up until a few days ago when we had that talk that I really want to make things work, I feel like given how I responded to her request for space, didn’t wish her a happy birthday, acknowledged that what we had is over, and me not even bringing up how I want to try again in the future will make her believe that I’m just truly completely over trying for her, which couldn’t be further from the truth.
For additional context, we had drawn out the breakup simply because we have so much love for one another other. We were each other’s first bf/gf. This whole process was all about her needing space and needing to be alone right now. She had said once or twice that if this is meant to be then it will be. Yet I’m scared that she might take me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over” as a sign of me not wanting to try anymore. She never gave me a direct statement of her saying how we are completely over. She had said enough times to me that this is a breakup. How she needs to be alone right now. How she needs her space. And she doesn’t know for how long. Yet I’m afraid that I might have said the wrong words and followed through with actions that don’t truly align with my true incentives. I can easily tell that the conversation that we had was all the closure that she needed to officially move on from me and to start living her life completely without me. She is a very healthy woman who looks at the world through a very healthy, optimistic and peaceful perspective. Due to this it seems like she wouldn't’ be the type to hold onto something like this after getting closure like that.
I only acted that way and didn’t speak to her and didn’t bring up any future aspirations of rekindling with her just do not disrupt her emotions any further as I know that this is a tough time for the both of us.I currently work with her yet she put her two weeks in already and I have my final shift with her this Sunday night. I’m contemplating if it’s a good idea for me to tell her one last time that I’m still interested in trying again in the future.
Should I use our last shift working together as an opportunity to tell her that I still want to try again for a relationship in the future? I really miss her and still love her and care about her deeply. This whole process has just been really hard and I feel the need to use this last in person chance as an opportunity to show her that I’m still interested in her. I feel like she’s the love of my life and I’ve told her that throughout the past 2 months. Please let me know if you guys think that this is a good idea.
​
TLDR: I feel as though I gave off the wrong impression with my ex over the past few days. Unintentionally letting her think that I’m completely done with her and wanting to move on when that couldn’t be further from the truth. She is a very mature, peaceful, healthy and optimistic woman, and given all of the closure that she just got combined with my misleading intentions, I fear that she will officially let me go given that I was the one who wanted to hold on and make things work when she first asked for space. I still really love her and care about her deeply and feel as though she’s the one for me. Should I use our last shift working together to tell her how I still want to try again for a relationship in the future?

Me and my ex are currently doing no contact. She knows how much I love her as I already write her a very heartfelt letter saying so. We’ve talked about how we can’t see each other with other people and how much we love each other even after the breakup. Yet long story short me and my ex had a little drawn out break up. I tried to make things work for a month after she first broke up with me. She said she needed to be alone a month later. I kept calling her and she agreed to, up until about a week ago she asked for me to take a step back. I agreed and didn’t message her and her birthday went by within those days. I still didn’t message her. She saw me downtown that night and cried to me and vented and was mad that I didn’t wish her a happy birthday. She asked to apologize and meet up in person the night after. That night we only talked super formally and only about how we’re looking forward to healing.
My one concern is that through that whole conversation, I didn’t make it clear that I still want to try again for a relationship with her. Earlier that day when she had initially apologized for crying and venting to me, I responded with as heartfelt and mature of a response that I could give, including me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over,” then continuing to be optimistic about our healing processes. While I have made it know ever since our initial breakup two months ago up until a few days ago when we had that talk that I really want to make things work, I feel like given how I responded to her request for space, didn’t wish her a happy birthday, acknowledged that what we had is over, and me not even bringing up how I want to try again in the future will make her believe that I’m just truly completely over trying for her, which couldn’t be further from the truth.
For additional context, we had drawn out the breakup simply because we have so much love for one another other. We were each other’s first bf/gf. This whole process was all about her needing space and needing to be alone right now. She had said once or twice that if this is meant to be then it will be. Yet I’m scared that she might take me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over” as a sign of me not wanting to try anymore. She never gave me a direct statement of her saying how we are completely over. She had said enough times to me that this is a breakup. How she needs to be alone right now. How she needs her space. And she doesn’t know for how long. Yet I’m afraid that I might have said the wrong words and followed through with actions that don’t truly align with my true incentives. I can easily tell that the conversation that we had was all the closure that she needed to officially move on from me and to start living her life completely without me. She is a very healthy woman who looks at the world through a very healthy, optimistic and peaceful perspective. Due to this it seems like she wouldn't’ be the type to hold onto something like this after getting closure like that.
I only acted that way and didn’t speak to her and didn’t bring up any future aspirations of rekindling with her just do not disrupt her emotions any further as I know that this is a tough time for the both of us.I currently work with her yet she put her two weeks in already and I have my final shift with her this Sunday night. I’m contemplating if it’s a good idea for me to tell her one last time that I’m still interested in trying again in the future.
Should I use our last shift working together as an opportunity to tell her that I still want to try again for a relationship in the future? I really miss her and still love her and care about her deeply. This whole process has just been really hard and I feel the need to use this last in person chance as an opportunity to show her that I’m still interested in her. I feel like she’s the love of my life and I’ve told her that throughout the past 2 months. Please let me know if you guys think that this is a good idea.
​
TLDR: I feel as though I gave off the wrong impression with my ex over the past few days. Unintentionally letting her think that I’m completely done with her and wanting to move on when that couldn’t be further from the truth. She is a very mature, peaceful, healthy and optimistic woman, and given all of the closure that she just got combined with my misleading intentions, I fear that she will officially let me go given that I was the one who wanted to hold on and make things work when she first asked for space. I still really love her and care about her deeply and feel as though she’s the one for me. Should I use our last shift working together to tell her how I still want to try again for a relationship in the future?

This is a long read sorry!
Hi, I (22F) literally just joined, I have been on reddit for a while now, I post here or there but I really need the grace that only reddit seems to have, kisses but you know it's true. So, I guess, I am screaming into the void, because the truth is I am so gutturally confused.
Like the title says- I have always fantasized of being a flower child, a changeling, of turning towards the corner of the yard, the woods beckoning me to run away, the gentleness of which the coyotes would pick my bones clean. My childhood felt like a house fire only I could see.
My father's nightcap of whiskey got less and less watered down as nights were uncomfortable to spend on the family room couch. The one that he fiercely protects, once threatening my friend who mistakenly lounged in his spot. My mother's love felt scarce, a luxury only my younger sister could afford. Between that and her ambition to become the first nurse and college graduate of both families, I was more of my father's daughter. My younger sister and I were doll-like children, meek and polite to the price of our own dignity and self. To give a brief snapshot of what it was like being raised by them \~ even though "I'm remembering it all wrong, or not at all" I will try to go in chronological order, but you can quickly see most of these were not isolated incidents and I jump around:
-daily spankings because of crying during daycare drop off (fair technique)
-tricking us out of the "broken" car, in the rain on a dirt road "get gas" and proceeded to speed past us laughing as we ran after his taillights in the mud, we were in another country, on a solo trip with just our dad, we were both elementary school age.
-In elementary school and 6th grade I lived in a sweatshirt because when I hit puberty. I pleaded to my mother how hard it was to hear my father's constant comments about my womanhood and new body. He started to compare me to a hooker around this time, calling me a slut for trying to wear what my friends wore to school- leggings, shorts shorter than the knee but not offensively short I promise, though I strongly feel as clothing does not mean consent.
-For as long as I can remember, he would take pictures of us when we looked embarrassed then show it to family, friends, whoever in conversation in front of us then scold us when we inevitably felt bad or asked him to stop. He would also promise to delete the photo but would continue the previously mentioned above.
-So far, I have just been harping on my father, but the truth is they are a match made in hell, and though I feel like my mother is a victim in her own way. It was very hard to exist without their constant horrible comments about my appearance and character. They both shamed skinny children to be thinner, critiqued my body through puberty, and felt entitled to touch my body when and how they wanted. Examples include my father's frequent ass grabbing, and then allowing his adult male friend to do the same.
-They both would ridicule me for working minimum wage jobs in high school, while my father funnels out of my sister and I's joint accounts, only when we confront him does he fess that he required the money we earned for ourselves for the "mortgage". He continues as well as set monetary account goals, right before trips or plans, he would always be surprised that we had managed to scrape together enough money. He expects me to find a place that will fire and schedule me on a winter vacation, or to amount 5k in less than 3 months, while paying for my own necessities, thank you for teaching me to live on frugality as a means of survival.
-The name calling I touched on, but I would be the first to come home from school, my father would take his lunch to come home and berate me verbally of how much of a loser I am and will continue to be. The verbal arguments were daily, I fully admit to yelling back but in truth I couldn't leave his spewing red face hurling threats, I had to stay glued in place until he had his fill.
-Another solo trip with my father and sister, my mother had cleaned my room while we were away and had found my treasures- vapes, two beers. I got pulled out of the running shower to be beaten on and off through the night whenever my father took a break from tv, my sister sob in the room with my father to stop and I sat on the couch until morning. We had a tourist excursion the next day and I got it again before we left because I was not to "ruining the rest of his vacation with my bad attitude"
-They locked away my childhood cat, sick with cancer, to die alone in the basement so she would ruin their floors with her incontinence. When she passed, they did not tell me, they buried her in the woods behind our house, I wish I could lay beside her, I'm sorry little one.
-My father would come home and yell at me for not having dinner ready for him, because when my mother worked late or was not home, the next one responsible for dinner was my younger sister or me.
-He physically corners us or refuses to let us leave. Threatened my life when I tried to leave the house during an argument.
-Put his hand through the door a couple of times because I “gave attitude” by responding with ok. Readers, please note I am capable of attitude, but this was not the case, I was scared, and I just wanted to give him whatever answer he wanted
-I'm a summer birthday, so for my big 21st I had my cousin, bf and sister have a pool party in my parents' pool. No one told me the plan all day. I was told to just relax by everyone, because normally I would be running around serving people or helping my parents. No one told me anything, so we played some games in the yard, had some wine coolers and then swam. My father flies outside and starts yelling at me from the side of the pool to get my ass out and blow out my candles because he needs to drive my cousin 20 minutes home each way. So, I blew out my candles, soaking wet staring daggers because my father has always managed to underplay or make me feel bad on my birthday too? Another grievance from my 21st birthday is that my father grilled frozen steaks, and I truly do not want to seem like a stuck-up princess, but he proceeded to buy 300$ of food from my favorite restaurant and his favorite food is steak not mine. Note his birthday is the next day following mine.
I may post in regard to the tribulation that was my childhood in this thread again, but it takes a lot out of me, and I have already had myself a day sorry. Now you're all caught up and I just want you to know-
I have long ruminated over my own words and actions; though I have many regrets I do not feel ashamed of my choices or who I am because I try to treat everyone with kindness and most importantly respectability. I know the lengths my immigrant parents have gone through to build themselves a life. I know the struggles my father had with his father, the alcoholic who raised him with cruelty reserved for not even a barn animal. I know that my mother lived in the shadows as a neglected middle child hoping to find someone who realized all her good in the way her parents did not. I can see and understand that I carry the same wounds, and now it is within my responsibility to be better.
So, my relationship with my parents is strained right now. I have been in low contact with my mother and father for nearly four years, with periods of better contact. We have tried therapy, though it's difficult as my mother uses this as an opportunity to explore her wounds rather than our history or relationship. Though the therapist was helpful in directing the conversation back, I believe that the work can only happen with the person wanting to actually work on themselves, so I feel like I am at a frustrating impasse.
Every time I feel like I can take out a brick between the wall I keep between us, my mother will say something that makes me build another layer. I try not to be sensitive, yet I know my mother likes to cut with her words, though she claims otherwise. In a recent conversation my mother admitted that my father and she spent a great effort in making sure my beauty did not go to my head and did this in order to keep me humble.
For context, my mother’s side of the family does not like my father, and this along with other childhood issues festering into adulthood drove a wedge between my mother and her younger brother. His recent divorce and my mother’s empty nest have given them much time and space to rekindle their sibling relationship. So on our already strained phone calls she hits me with these metaphors of her brother and her relationship to ours. Am I off for thinking that those are two very different relationships, yet both have.. Jealousy? Furthermore, I feel a looney because I am fighting to keep them in my life, and they are fighting to be right.? To be absolved of the guilt and shame that maybe they did do the wrong thing.?
What gives them the right? When we all have to lay away at night with our guilt you want me to hold yours? I want a mother and they want a guiltless soul
Truthfully, I do not know what kind of future lies ahead for us. I think I grieve having bullies instead of parents, of what I missed out on and who I could have been. Like I said I am low contact right now, but after a normal phone call talking about the weather and our pets today, I had an anxiety attack to the point I fought to stay conscious. This has not been the first time I have fainted due to anxiety, mostly surrounding situations that remind me of them or things they punished or did to me in the past. The day after I wished my father a happy birthday after a year of no contact, I got two pills of ativan to the face after a ER visit in which they thought my poor bf was trafficking me. Though this is maybe too much, I am always sweating, my sides literally pour, my hands shake, and I can string together a sentence if I try. I feel like a different person, a moist, meek person.. which is not me, I self tattoo and pierce, I can and have tackled an attacking dog and I have punched touchy men square in the nose. I’m tough because I fought tooth and nail to be kind and gentle, we rescued cats and recently a possum, and we let out spiders and bugs, so our cats don’t terrorize them.
Here’s the thing… we’re getting married!
We’re tying the knot in the woods at the end of May, but I feel like an asshole because I have not told my parents. They know we’re engaged.
My mother, in a recent phone call, told me of this travel nurse that she had gotten close to, that was getting married soon, and invited my mother to go dress shopping with her. My mother told me how sad this girl felt that her family was all the way across the country, coincidently much like we are. This felt like she was guilting me, but she went so far as to send me a picture of a couple, I didn’t verify who it actually was.
Another issue is I am dealing with the guilt of getting a ring and bands elsewhere. My father is a high-end jeweler whose work has been showcased by celebs, my whole life I heard that my father was going to design and make my engagement ring. After long consideration, we picked out a ring from Madrid that felt more like me. When I look at my wedding rings I want to think of my husband not my father. I am more than happy with anything else, rings for other occasions, but it makes my skin crawl and my stomach curling because part of me feels as if it's more of a collar than a ring then.
My mother wants to meet over memorial weekend, she wants me to fly out a day to visit before I’m getting married.
I do not know if I should facetime them and break the news before, after or invite them. It’s already last minute so airfare will be expensive, but I know they are going to be so heartbroken. Part of me does not want them there either because I have felt alone my whole life, I figured I would do my wedding the same way, though it's hard because my fiancé's family will be there, and I will have no one. I wish I could hire a friend... lol typed that with a tear in my eye that's ironic.
Suggestions please

Me and my ex are currently doing no contact. She knows how much I love her as I already write her a very heartfelt letter saying so. We’ve talked about how we can’t see each other with other people and how much we love each other even after the breakup. Yet long story short me and my ex had a little drawn out break up. I tried to make things work for a month after she first broke up with me. She said she needed to be alone a month later. I kept calling her and she agreed to, up until about a week ago she asked for me to take a step back. I agreed and didn’t message her and her birthday went by within those days. I still didn’t message her. She saw me downtown that night and cried to me and vented and was mad that I didn’t wish her a happy birthday. She asked to apologize and meet up in person the night after. That night we only talked super formally and only about how we’re looking forward to healing.
My one concern is that through that whole conversation, I didn’t make it clear that I still want to try again for a relationship with her. Earlier that day when she had initially apologized for crying and venting to me, I responded with as heartfelt and mature of a response that I could give, including me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over,” then continuing to be optimistic about our healing processes. While I have made it know ever since our initial breakup two months ago up until a few days ago when we had that talk that I really want to make things work, I feel like given how I responded to her request for space, didn’t wish her a happy birthday, acknowledged that what we had is over, and me not even bringing up how I want to try again in the future will make her believe that I’m just truly completely over trying for her, which couldn’t be further from the truth.
For additional context, we had drawn out the breakup simply because we have so much love for one another other. We were each other’s first bf/gf. This whole process was all about her needing space and needing to be alone right now. She had said once or twice that if this is meant to be then it will be. Yet I’m scared that she might take me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over” as a sign of me not wanting to try anymore. She never gave me a direct statement of her saying how we are completely over. She had said enough times to me that this is a breakup. How she needs to be alone right now. How she needs her space. And she doesn’t know for how long. Yet I’m afraid that I might have said the wrong words and followed through with actions that don’t truly align with my true incentives. I can easily tell that the conversation that we had was all the closure that she needed to officially move on from me and to start living her life completely without me. She is a very healthy woman who looks at the world through a very healthy, optimistic and peaceful perspective. Due to this it seems like she wouldn't’ be the type to hold onto something like this after getting closure like that.
I only acted that way and didn’t speak to her and didn’t bring up any future aspirations of rekindling with her just do not disrupt her emotions any further as I know that this is a tough time for the both of us.I currently work with her yet she put her two weeks in already and I have my final shift with her this Sunday night. I’m contemplating if it’s a good idea for me to tell her one last time that I’m still interested in trying again in the future.
Should I use our last shift working together as an opportunity to tell her that I still want to try again for a relationship in the future? I really miss her and still love her and care about her deeply. This whole process has just been really hard and I feel the need to use this last in person chance as an opportunity to show her that I’m still interested in her. I feel like she’s the love of my life and I’ve told her that throughout the past 2 months. Please let me know if you guys think that this is a good idea.
​
TLDR: I feel as though I gave off the wrong impression with my ex over the past few days. Unintentionally letting her think that I’m completely done with her and wanting to move on when that couldn’t be further from the truth. She is a very mature, peaceful, healthy and optimistic woman, and given all of the closure that she just got combined with my misleading intentions, I fear that she will officially let me go given that I was the one who wanted to hold on and make things work when she first asked for space. I still really love her and care about her deeply and feel as though she’s the one for me. Should I use our last shift working together to tell her how I still want to try again for a relationship in the future?

Me and my ex are currently doing no contact. She knows how much I love her as I already write her a very heartfelt letter saying so. We’ve talked about how we can’t see each other with other people and how much we love each other even after the breakup. Yet long story short me and my ex had a little drawn out break up. I tried to make things work for a month after she first broke up with me. She said she needed to be alone a month later. I kept calling her and she agreed to, up until about a week ago she asked for me to take a step back. I agreed and didn’t message her and her birthday went by within those days. I still didn’t message her. She saw me downtown that night and cried to me and vented and was mad that I didn’t wish her a happy birthday. She asked to apologize and meet up in person the night after. That night we only talked super formally and only about how we’re looking forward to healing.
My one concern is that through that whole conversation, I didn’t make it clear that I still want to try again for a relationship with her. Earlier that day when she had initially apologized for crying and venting to me, I responded with as heartfelt and mature of a response that I could give, including me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over,” then continuing to be optimistic about our healing processes. While I have made it know ever since our initial breakup two months ago up until a few days ago when we had that talk that I really want to make things work, I feel like given how I responded to her request for space, didn’t wish her a happy birthday, acknowledged that what we had is over, and me not even bringing up how I want to try again in the future will make her believe that I’m just truly completely over trying for her, which couldn’t be further from the truth.
For additional context, we had drawn out the breakup simply because we have so much love for one another other. We were each other’s first bf/gf. This whole process was all about her needing space and needing to be alone right now. She had said once or twice that if this is meant to be then it will be. Yet I’m scared that she might take me saying “While I’m aware that what we had is over” as a sign of me not wanting to try anymore. She never gave me a direct statement of her saying how we are completely over. She had said enough times to me that this is a breakup. How she needs to be alone right now. How she needs her space. And she doesn’t know for how long. Yet I’m afraid that I might have said the wrong words and followed through with actions that don’t truly align with my true incentives. I can easily tell that the conversation that we had was all the closure that she needed to officially move on from me and to start living her life completely without me. She is a very healthy woman who looks at the world through a very healthy, optimistic and peaceful perspective. Due to this it seems like she wouldn't’ be the type to hold onto something like this after getting closure like that.
I only acted that way and didn’t speak to her and didn’t bring up any future aspirations of rekindling with her just do not disrupt her emotions any further as I know that this is a tough time for the both of us.I currently work with her yet she put her two weeks in already and I have my final shift with her this Sunday night. I’m contemplating if it’s a good idea for me to tell her one last time that I’m still interested in trying again in the future.
Should I use our last shift working together as an opportunity to tell her that I still want to try again for a relationship in the future? I really miss her and still love her and care about her deeply. This whole process has just been really hard and I feel the need to use this last in person chance as an opportunity to show her that I’m still interested in her. I feel like she’s the love of my life and I’ve told her that throughout the past 2 months. Please let me know if you guys think that this is a good idea.
TLDR: I feel as though I gave off the wrong impression with my ex over the past few days. Unintentionally letting her think that I’m completely done with her and wanting to move on when that couldn’t be further from the truth. She is a very mature, peaceful, healthy and optimistic woman, and given all of the closure that she just got combined with my misleading intentions, I fear that she will officially let me go given that I was the one who wanted to hold on and make things work when she first asked for space. I still really love her and care about her deeply and feel as though she’s the one for me. Should I use our last shift working together to tell her how I still want to try again for a relationship in the future?