Past female ice skater

Hi I'm new to this and I don't know the right terms to use in the subreddit so I'm really sorry if I use the wrong terms. I'm a 17 year old female and have a 21 year old biological sister and 8 year old adoptive sister.
So my parent have been fostering kids for 13 years since I was 4 years old. I'm graduating high school this year and for the past couple years I've been trying to get my parents to stop fostering not for selfish reasons my younger sister has been having behavioral problems and it may be due to an undiagnosed mental disorder so I think that it would be good for us to slow down so she doesn't have that stress on her but my mom is very persistent on fostering. We used to have this rule that if everyone in the house doesn't say yes then we would deny the foster kid. Recently I've been saying no a lot more in worry for my younger sister and honestly it's extremely mentally draining for me as well. I'm not sure how many bio kids of foster parents are on here but it's extremely lonely because people just tell you to be grateful that your parents are so generous but I don't think they understand what I'm really feeling. I've had so many mental issues due to situations I was put in by foster kids and in no way am I blaming them because most of the time it just happened because of the trauma that they have been through. But recently we got a call for 3 kids under 5 year old one being an infant and I said no because graduation is in a week in a half and I really just want to have both my parents there and focused on me for once in my life. My mom called me after I texted no and just kept yelling at me for saying no wanting an explanation and every time I said that its was close to graduation and I just thought it was a bad time and she didn't take that answer because she said that "Nothing would change" and I apparently I said something close to a "yes" and she took it and got the kids now we have them and things have changed I have a lot of events and I even had one of my last school events that I really wanted my mom and dad to see but the day of my mom told me she was going to be there. I have been confiding in my friend but they don't understand so I'm coming here for help. My mom wont take no for an answer any more. We've had 27 foster kids in total over the years and 3 of them not including the ones we have now have been in our house when I said no but my mom manipulated me into saying yes. I don't know what to do anymore. I have college and I have to stay at home for the next year and I don't think I can handle it anymore.
I'm really sorry for the dump but I just need help. I've tried to talk to her but it always ends with me crying. I just don't know how to tell her that I want her love too. Every time that I've said no it is normally followed with a couple days, sometimes weeks of her being mad, borderline ignoring me, and guilting me. I have tried to bring up that I just wanted their full attention and she guiltied me by saying that I think she's a bad mom which she isn't to the foster kids it just tends to come at the cost of my happiness

Animal‌-Man/Swamp‌ ‌Thing

Issue‌ 32:‌ ‌ The Pale Wanderer
Written‌ ‌by‌ ‌Deadislandman1
Edited‌ ‌by‌ PatrollinTheMojave
 
Next‌ ‌Issue‌ ‌> ‌Coming‌ ‌Soon
 
Arc: Flesh and Bark‌ ‌
 ‌ ‌
‌  ‌ ‌
Then
An arc of purple lightning flashed across the night sky of the Boneyard, splitting the dark sky in twain as Capucine trudged across the ashy wastes of the realm. A cold gale ripped through the land, chilling the warrior to the bone, yet after centuries of time living in the Rot’s home realm, it felt identical to the ocean breeze that graced her every evening of her monastic childhood. Anxious, she fiddled with her leather armor, tightening every strap and support to make sure they were all in the right positions. She double checked that her sheath was properly tied to her belt, and that the steel sword within was sharp and clean.
He would catch up to her sooner or later, almost certainly before she made it to the portal. It wasn’t hard to pick that fact up. The Boneyard always became a little rougher when he wasn’t happy. She’d endeavored to spare him a difficult conversation, but perhaps that was too optimistic a hope. He was smart for someone his age, even if he’d made such a grave mistake.
Perhaps she was trying to spare herself the labor of having a conversation, rather than trying to keep the adolescent Avatar’s emotions in check. Perhaps she was just running from her problems, something she couldn’t remember ever doing before. Perhaps her ambitions to steer the young Avatar towards better decisions was the wrong choice on her part.
…No. Her advice was invaluable, she knew that much, and William Holland took that advice well. She just wasn’t in much of a position to give advice anymore.
Climbing atop an gray, dusty hill, Capucine gazed at the portal back to the physical world, composed of a miasma of swirling bones and inky fluids. To the unadjusted nose, it smelled absolutely foul, but to Capucine it smelled no different than the rest of the Boneyard. This was her ticket back, to somewhere where she’d do… something.
She didn’t know what that something was. In fact, she felt nauseous at the idea of wandering the world for centuries yet again with no real goal or purpose, though when considering the alternative, Capucine was ready to step right through the portal, even if her reason for leaving was so small in the grand scheme of things.
Breathless, Capucine took one step towards the portal, only for a boom of thunder to shake the realm. Capucine stopped dead in her tracks, sighing. William didn’t need to say anything to get her attention, as she turned around, coming face to face with the young Avatar.
He’d grown quite a bit in the three years she’d been advising him. His mane of red hair had regained some of its color, and across his pale face stood the beginnings of a beard, with bits of pronounced stubble around his chin and above his lips. He remained as gaunt as ever, yet he’d also grown much taller since his beginning as the Rot’s leader. He looked Capucine in the eyes, keeping his expression as blank as possible, “I got your note.”
Capucine narrowed her eyes, “So you did.”
William’s bottom lip quivered, “There’s no way I can change your mind…is there?”
“Not that I can see,” Capucine remarked.
William’s head drifted to the side as he attempted to avert his gaze, hiding his eyes from Capucine behind his wild hair. He choked back something, maybe a sob, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I said. It was a mistake.”
Capucine took a step forward, feeling the urge to console the boy, yet as she reached out towards him, she found herself frozen by trepidation. She was not a woman of gentle words, and this was a situation that called for them. Rescinding her hand, she stepped back towards the portal, “What’s done is done. I do not hate you, William Arcane, but I cannot stay here.”
Capucine turned her back on William, readying herself to step through the portal. She took one step, then another before William spoke once more, “Tefé.”
Capucine stopped, electing not to turn back and face the young Avatar. Realizing that she was waiting for him to continue, William spoke again, “My sister. I know her, she’s got a good heart, but she’s not like me. She’s not an Avatar. She could always use someone to watch her back.”
For a moment, Capucine did not answer, and the silence seemed to push William to take a few steps back. Turning, he began to walk away, unable to think of much else to say, when Capucine finally answered back, “If she is the sister of William Arcane…then I know her to be someone of good character. Your advice is invaluable, Avatar. Thank you.”
Without another word, Capucine stepped through the portal, disappearing from the Boneyard. William stared at the portal for what felt like hours before he finally shuddered, his shaky breathing accompanied by a single tear that froze up on its way down his cheek, stopping short as a bead of ice just before it fell off of his jaw.
Now
“So you’re here because my brother suggested it?”
“That’s correct.”
Capucine answered Tefé’s inquiry in a dry manner, keeping most of her focus on cleaning the gasoline off her sword with a rag. She sat upon the corpse of the formerly living infected tree, using it as a comfortable log of sorts while Maxine and Tefé remained in their canoe, having managed to dock it by tying it to a nearby set of protruding roots. It was about noon now, and the Florida heat had become unbearable. Maxine wiped her forehead, expecting that she’d probably be dead without the trees as a shield from the sun.
Tefé rubbed her throat, recovering from the vice grip of the tree, “I…how is he? He’s not in trouble is he?”
“Far from it. Your brother is doing better than most. He’s got a keen mind for leadership, and the Rot endures with him as its head,” Capucine sheathed her sword. “He doesn’t need my advice anymore, and I do the world no favors remaining at his side. If I am to continue the preservation of a better world, then it’s best I accompany you instead.”
Tefé grumbled a little, but also couldn’t help but smile, “So the little rascal thinks I need a hand, huh? Thinks I need advice.”
Tefé smirked, then looked up at Capucine, “Got any words of wisdom for me?”
Capucine looked down at the tree carcass, then back at Tefé, “Don’t get grabbed by monstrous trees.”
Tefé swallowed, “Yeah…sound advice.”
Maxine stared at the water, noting that its viscosity had remained unchanged, “Uh…guys? I think there are more gasoline trees somewhere out there. I feel like it would’ve cleared up at least a little bit.”
Capucine jumped into the canoe, breaking the rope keeping it moored with her bare hands, “Then we find the source of the infestation, and remove it.”
Maxine and Tefé didn’t do anything to impede Capucine’s actions, though they were certainly taken aback by this old English era woman taking charge of their mission. Without a word, Capucine grabbed a paddle and began rowing upstream, her toned build making what was a laborious task for Tefé effortless. The trio moved upstream at a rapid pace, with Capucine barely making a single grunt or noise as she paddled onward. As the hours went by, the water to gasoline ratio of the river continued to tip in the gasoline’s favor, to the point that eventually Capucine looked like she was putting real effort into her paddling.
Tefé stared at the woman, unsure of what to make of her, “So…Capucine?”
“Yes?”
“I know your name, I know you’ve been…advising my brother. What else do you do? What’s your story?”
Capucine frowned, “To be brief…I was born over a thousand years ago in Lindisfarne Abbey. What happened after is a personal matter, and one I’d rather not discuss. Similarly, discussing how I came to be immortal, and what I’ve done in the many centuries afterwards would doubtlessly be a fruitless and boring exercise. That energy is better spent rowing.”
Tefé raised an eyebrow, “Okay….then, why are you doing any of this? What drives you to help us?”
Capucine paused for a moment, allowing the canoe to slow in its approach upriver. Then, she snorted, a small smile forming as she began to paddle once more, “I’ve lived long enough to know this is a good place, a good world. I like it intact and alive, and I’d do whatever it takes to keep it that way.”
“Uh…good answer,” Tefé turned her attention to the rest of the forest, watching carefully for threats. Capucine was certainly blunt, and maybe a little scary looking, but from what she could tell the woman wasn’t much of a danger. If she wanted to learn more, she could do that after the case of Silver Springs was solved.
Maxine grimaced, staring at the thick gasoline they were rowing through, “What do you think is causing this stuff? The closest thing I can think of is the Rot but…part of me can’t put that picture together.”
“Because this is not the Rot’s doing. William is well aware of these kinds of problems, and manages them well. He would never allow something like this to escalate as far as it has,” Capucine grunted, her sheath rattling against the interior of the canoe. “This is something different.”
“Oil’s a fossil fuel, right?” Maxine asked, “Could there be any connection?”
“Perhaps, but this isn’t just oil, it’s gasoline. It’s processed,” Capucine grunted, the act of rowing becoming tougher. “Something is turning the oil into Gasoline. Maybe it’s the trees, maybe it’s something else.”
“But what force would do that? There’s definitely something magical going on about these things,” Maxine asked.
Capucine frowned, “I am…unsure. I’ve not heard of any force that pertains to these properties. Perhaps one of them has evolved. Such an occurrence is not unheard of; the Red does it all the time.”
“Or maybe…someone’s twisting a force into something it isn’t,” said Tefé. “Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out soon enough.”
Eventually, the boat rounded a corner, passing another infected tree. Maxine and Tefé readied themselves, only for Capucine to keep paddling, “Do not bother with them. They’re symptoms, not the cause.”
Maxine raised an eyebrow, “And the cause is….where?”
Capucine pointed down the river, and past a muddy, poisoned shore sat an entire row of the ailing cypresses, encircling a clearing of some kind. As the canoe pushed up against the mid, Capucine trudged out, making her way towards the clearing with her hand on her longsword’s hilt. The trees seemed to regard her, blatantly still conscious, yet they did not attack. Maxine and Tefé followed in trepidation, eyeing the trees in suspicion.
“Why aren’t they attacking?” Maxine asked.
“I don’t know,” Capucine remarked. “Perhaps they’re afraid.”
“Of you…or of something else?” Tefé wondered aloud.
As the three entered the clearing, they came across a sight none of them would have expected…a human heart.
It laid in the mud, rooted by cartilage that snaked its way beneath the earth. It beat with a satisfying rhythm, pulsating as if it still rested inside the body of a living man. A thick liquid permeated the mud, shifting outward from the heart.
Gasoline.
Capucine drew her sword, preparing to stab the heart with it. Eyes wide, Maxine jumped in front of her, “Woah woah woah, what are you doing?!”
“I’m removing the problem,” Capucine remarked.
“But…but…we don’t know what this thing even is?”
Capucine sneered at Maxine, “Is it not obvious? Someone or something has perverted an object of the Red, and that infection is spreading to the Green. With its removal, this area can begin healing.”
“How can you know that for sure? I’m the Avatar of the Red, and I can’t feel any trace of the Red in there,” Maxine exclaimed.
“Then the corruption of the object has completely overridden its connection to the Red. All the more reason to destroy it.”
Maxine whirled around, staring at Tefé for help. Tefé opened her mouth to protest, yet she was unsure of how to proceed. On the one hand, the Green was suffering, this place was suffering. Getting rid of the heart seemed like the right answer, yet Maxine was right as well. They knew practically nothing about this heart, and if the trees weren’t attacking them, maybe it was an invitation to learn more.
Before she could voice her opinion on one approach or the other though, a new voice made itself known, a raspy, texan accent that came from vocal chords that didn’t realize they were long past their expiration date.
“Well, if you’d let me speak…I’d love to tell you why I deserve to live!”
The trio assumed defensive stances as the ground rumbled around the heart, at which point a dozen or so ribs began to poke out of the mud around the heart, followed by rotten yet well preserved flesh. The heart and ribs rose with the flesh, revealing a man with an open chest as he picked himself up from out of the mud. He was wearing an old coat and pants, and wore only one sock on his feet. Inconsistent, matted hair hung from his head, covered up slightly by a ruined cowboy hat. An ugly stubble dotted his cheeks, paired with yellow teeth and milky white eyes. He smiled, raising what looked to be an old revolver to his chin to scratch it with the barrel. With the other hand, he reached out to shake any of the trio’s hands, “Howdy folks. Pale Wanderer, representing the Parliament of Gears…how are you doing this fine day?”
The trio looked at each other in confusion, then Capucine spoke, “What are you? Are you the cause of the Malady plaguing this land.”
“Well…I wouldn’t call it a malady per-se! More of a necessary sacrifice.” The Pale Wanderer tipped his hat up. “As for what I am? Well honey…I’m a crusader. A force meant to alleviate suffering, and right now? That suffering is…well, it’s not exactly something any of the flora or fauna here really give a shit about.”
“And what’s that?” Tefé asked.
“Well…it’s a bit of a logistical nightmare to explain, but it starts with oil!” The Pale Wanderer gestured towards the ground. “We’re a car based society, here in the United States I mean! Trouble is, gas prices are fuckin’ outrageous these days, right?”
Capucine narrowed her eyes, “I do not see how that should concern us.”
“I’m not finished!” The Pale Wanderer remarked. “The average American has to pay an arm and a leg for gas nowadays, and they need gas if they want to get anywhere. Have a job, wanna see family, need to make a trip to the grocery store? Need to pay for gas if you wanna to any of that! Trouble is, gas comes from oil, and oil? It’s getting rarer by the minute…that’s why I made this place!”
The Pale Wanderer raised his arms, gesturing to the gasoline laced mud and the producing trees, “Think about it! More Gasoline means the market price of Gasoline’s gonna go down, which means gas is cheaper for everyone! At least, I think that’s how it works! Plus, my Gas is A+ quality, even comes in Diesel!”
As The Pale Wanderer continued on about his tirade on Gas prices, Maxine and Tefé shared a confused glance at each other. They’d never encountered something like this before, something this unusual, this keyed in and calculated in purpose yet scattershot in reasoning. The only thing two of them seemed to fixate on though was something the Pale Wanderer said when he introduced himself.
The Parliament of Gears.
Tefé stepped forward, “You said you were part of the Parliament of Gears? What is that? I’ve never heard of them.”
“Oh, That’s cause we’re new on the block, sweetie, but glad to be here,” The Pale Wanderer remarked. “Not qualified to sell them overall though, you’ll have to talk to marketing for that.”
“Enough!” Capucine declared, holding the point of the sword at the Pale Wanderer. “Your reasons for poisoning this place are simplistic and needless. Leave, or I will make you leave!”
The Pale Wanderer raised an eyebrow, “See, now I don’t like comments like that! We’re all just having a lovely discussion and now all you wanna do is escalate! Things don’t have to be this way! Maybe we can work something out?”
Tefé glanced between Capucine and the Pale Wanderer, making an educated guess that Capucine wasn’t the type to back down in these sorts of situations. Furthermore, she had a point. This place was suffering, and no matter the Pale Wanderer’s intentions, that was something that wouldn’t stand, “We don’t want to fight you, but what you’re doing is…horrifying. You’re killing everything around here for…Gasoline! We can’t stand by and let that happen.”
The Pale Wanderer glanced at Tefé, a glum look on his face. Maxine seemed to be holder her breath somewhat, but there was no question that she was on Tefé and Capucine’s side. Sighing, The Pale Wanderer scratched his thigh with his gun, “So that’s how it is?”
Capucine’s grip on her sword tightened, “That’s how it is.”
The Pale Wanderer pursed his lips, “...Well, if we’ve got no more words to share…I guess we better hop to it.”
The wanderer raised his revolver, only for Capucine to surge forward at lightning speed, piercing him in the heart with her sword. For a moment, he was still, motionless, and Capucine stared him dead in the eyes. Then, he shifted, and after meeting her gaze, he began to laugh, his guffawing causing gasoline to spurt from his heart and onto Capucine’s sword and armor, “Hah! Good try!”
Capucine attempted to back away from the Wanderer, only for him to grab her wrist, keeping her and the sword wedged firmly in his body. Raising his weapon, he prepared to put a bullet in Capucine’s eyes, only for her to deliver a swift fist to his arm, knocking the gun out of his hands. Smiling, he took advantage of his newly freed hand, grabbing her by the throat and squeezing tight. As Capucine struggled for air, the Wanderer could only hoot and holler, “Whooo-weeee! We’re getting down to it now!”
Maxine and Tefé rushed to help the ancient warrior, only for a mob of living trees to encroach upon them, blocking their way while attempting to grab or smash them with their heavy branched arms. Maxine dove to the left, dodging the crushing slam of one tree, while Tefé slipped through the roots of another, narrowly avoiding being picked up again. Separated, the two tried to get a read on each other while avoiding harm, yet it was difficult for either of them to really do anything to help Capucine.
They were both far from the Red and the Green’s safety. No animal would go anywhere near the Pale Wanderer, meaning Maxine’s powers were utterly neutered. Similarly, there was no living plant life near the battlefield, meaning Tefé couldn’t use her powers either. If they wanted to get out of this, they would need to think outside the box.
And that’s when Tefé spotted the Wanderer’s revolver sitting in the mud, and a wild idea crossed her mind as she scanned it and the gasoline laden ground around it. She glanced at Maxine, then to the gun, and Maxine seemed to pick up on what she was thinking. It was a gambit, an insane gambit, but without much power to draw on, it might be their only shot.
Together, the two began to race for the gun, trying desperately to keep out of the reach of the trees. Tefé tried to get there quickly, yet she found herself pursued by a half dozen trees, pressured by their presence. Maxine was closer, and managed to pick up the gun as Tefé was halfway over, only for a tree to come barreling towards her. She whirled around to run, only to snag her foot on a dead root, causing her to trip and fall. Afraid of losing their one chance at Victory, Maxine shared a split second look with Tefé before throwing the gun towards the Pale Wanderer, just as the tree came down on her. It stretched out its arms, its branches ensnaring her and trapping her in place.
Her mind in overdrive, Tefé pivoted and raced for the Pale Wanderer, leaping over the swinging branches of another tree in order to catch the gun. Capucine gasped for air, her eyes glazing over as the Wanderer choked the life out of her, laughing like a madman. With the trees about to grab her, Tefé leapt for the Wanderer’s back, looping one arm around his neck to hold on while planting the gun’s barrel against the gasoline soaked sword, “Stop!”
The trees froze in place, including the one holding Maxine captive. The Pale Wanderer raised his eyebrow, loosening his grip on Capucine and allowing her to breath, “What’s this now? Ready to call it quits?”
Tefé gritted her teeth, “I’m ready to make a deal, and if you refuse, I’ll blow us all sky high! Even you won’t survive that, will you?”
“The hell’re you…” The Pale Wanderer looked down at the gun planted against the sword, and finally realized what was at stake. There was a reason smoking a cigarette at a gas station was a stupid idea, and Tefé was willing to demonstrate. A bullet crashing against steel would cause sparks, and sparks can light many fires, especially ones where the ground was soaked in gasoline. She’s set miles of forest on fire, to nuke the entire place from the ground up….and from the tone of her words, the Wanderer knew Tefé meant it, “Ohhhhh…Clever girl….Ha! So, you’ve got me. What do you want from me?”
Tefé let out a grunt of exhaustion, “I want you…to fuck off and never come back here. Got it?”
The Wanderer chuckled, then winked at Capucine, letting go of her and allowing her to pull out the sword, “Well then, a deal’s a deal.”
Snapping his fingers, The Wanderer watched as every tree around him began to dissolve into an inky ooze, including the one holding onto Maxine, who became drencheds in the stuff. Similarly, the Wanderer himself began to dissolve, though much more slowly. As he sank into the earth, he looked up at Tefé and Capucine, “This place’ll return to what it once was, but don’t count me out just yet. We’ll be seeing each other…oh, and keep the gun. Think of it as a gift from little ol’ me.”
Eventually, the Pale Wanderer was gone, not even his hat remaining, leaving Maxine, Tefé, and Capucine to stare at the spot he once occupied. The crisis at hand was solved, at least as far as they knew, but the problems were only just beginning.
A new force of nature was here, and it did not seem to be a peaceful one.
 
Next Issue: A Trip to somewhere new!
 

First of all I have an appointment with my PCP next week and getting a dermatology appointment is literally a 6 month wait so I'm just trying to get to the bottom of this.
Female, 24yo, Caucasian thyroid condition as well as some minor underlying issues which are unlikely to be a cause /have an effect.
I've only ever been allergic to penicillin but for the past 5 days I've been on and off with a rash mainly on my wrists. It started as skin colored / slightly red raised bumps (almost like a zit starting to form) and also slight swelling which could ofc have been due to my scratching.
It all started about 1 month ago when our dryer broke and we had to wash and dry our clothes in a public laundromat for 1 (!!!) wash only. The day after I was super itchy in my work clothes but all over my body and I suspected that either someone that used the laundry machine before us used a chemical I'm allergic to or washed something e.g. with fiberglass.
However since then I've occasionally gotten itchy on parts of my legs (calves), single points on my scalp, around my nose and - mainly - my wrists.
It's really odd because nowhere else seems to be a rash forming but the one on one of my hands has been, slowly but progressively, getting worse. I'm taking 5-10mg cetrizine atm and it has helped quite a bit with the itching however the past 2 days it seems like it's coming back around late at night and I'm just at a loss.
The raised bumps stay for about 24-48h after the itching has subsided, some have stayed all these days. On my right hand it has been slowly progressing past my wrist and I've been worried it's hives however my husband has experience with this and assured me it's a simple and very mild rash. He also denied it looking like scabies.
I get that it's likely an environmental thing like a newly developed allergie to pollen as the amounts here are moderate however I'm not sure if and when to be concerned. It all seems very disconnected and not related to specific clothes or anything that would touch my body, new soaps etc etc.
I'm also 90% sure it's not shingles as I've unfortunately had them before due to stress and that looked and felt different and wouldn't be all over my body.
When the rash starts flaring up it hurts a tiny bit (about 1-2/10) but subsides quickly.
Would just like to know what's a likely cause here bc every time I try to look up my kind of rash I only get pictures and cases of either clear scabies, hives, horrible horrible rashes etc. - nothing that looks like mine!
Basically I just want to know if I need to see urgent care tomorrow or can leave it be, even if it's slowly progressing up one of my arms, until my appointment next week.
Thanks in advance.

Hi I'm new to this and I don't know the right terms to use in the subreddit so I'm really sorry if I use the wrong terms. I'm a 17 year old female and have a 21 year old biological sister and 8 year old adoptive sister.
So my parent have been fostering kids for 13 years since I was 4 years old. I'm graduating high school this year and for the past couple years I've been trying to get my parents to stop fostering not for selfish reasons my younger sister has been having behavioral problems and it may be due to an undiagnosed mental disorder so I think that it would be good for us to slow down so she doesn't have that stress on her but my mom is very persistent on fostering. We used to have this rule that if everyone in the house doesn't say yes then we would deny the foster kid. Recently I've been saying no a lot more in worry for my younger sister and honestly it's extremely mentally draining for me as well. I'm not sure how many bio kids of foster parents are on here but it's extremely lonely because people just tell you to be grateful that your parents are so generous but I don't think they understand what I'm really feeling. I've had so many mental issues due to situations I was put in by foster kids and in no way am I blaming them because most of the time it just happened because of the trauma that they have been through. But recently we got a call for 3 kids under 5 year old one being an infant and I said no because graduation is in a week in a half and I really just want to have both my parents there and focused on me for once in my life. My mom called me after I texted no and just kept yelling at me for saying no wanting an explanation and every time I said that its was close to graduation and I just thought it was a bad time and she didn't take that answer because she said that "Nothing would change" and I apparently I said something close to a "yes" and she took it and got the kids now we have them and things have changed I have a lot of events and I even had one of my last school events that I really wanted my mom and dad to see but the day of my mom told me she was going to be there. I have been confiding in my friend but they don't understand so I'm coming here for help. My mom wont take no for an answer any more. We've had 27 foster kids in total over the years and 3 of them not including the ones we have now have been in our house when I said no but my mom manipulated me into saying yes. I don't know what to do anymore. I have college and I have to stay at home for the next year and I don't think I can handle it anymore.
I'm really sorry for the dump but I just need help. I've tried to talk to her but it always ends with me crying. I just don't know how to tell her that I want her love too. Every time that I've said no it is normally followed with a couple days, sometimes weeks of her being mad, borderline ignoring me, and guilting me. I have tried to bring up that I just wanted their full attention and she guiltied me by saying that I think she's a bad mom which she isn't to the foster kids it just tends to come at the cost of my happiness

I’m a 20 y/o female, and I’ve found that most of my lucid dreams are during naps. The “better” dreams I’ve had are when I’m sleeping through the night, but they are harder for me to remember. I find myself waking up so many times throughout my naps (every 20 mins or less). I’ve never done acid, but I’d be willing to bet that some of my dreams are comparable to a “bad trip” (in my most recent lucid dream, I was told by the people in it that I had consumed acid, which freaked me out even more). When I try to talk, the words won’t come out. when I try to walk (let alone run) I can’t. This becomes especially difficult when abusive people from my past come into my dreams. I’m already struggling with my past so much, it is especially difficult to face in my “dreams” (or nightmares, as I like to call them). I’ve had a few dreams where I am able to take control, but for most of them I can’t, and I feel more tired when I wake up than when I went to bed. I’d love for advice of any kind, I wish you all the best <3

About me: - female, 27 y/o - Was 65 kilos and now down to 50 kilos - Got myself a nutritionist and gym coach for the past 2 years - I can share my knowledge and experience from them
Goal - help others who want to lose weight - share my knowledge while being budget friendly - gain experience in coaching
💜❤️🩷
100-200 php for 30min consulation - talk about your diet - make tweaks about diet - teach you how to count your macros - make a simple/starting workout routine
This is not for those who wants to lose weight fast. This is for those who want to have a lifestyle change and commitment. I have lost my weight with calorie deficit and it takes lots of commitment 🙂🙂

Well, I didn’t think things would come this far or have to be like this. I want to start off by saying that I am not perfect, I do make plenty of mistakes and i will continue to make mistakes. I’m writing this because a coworker of mine decided to make a post about me and completely lied.
I work for Jo-Ann fabrics and I love it, I love the atmosphere and I love the people- the customers and coworkers. Well, except one. For privacy I will call her Regina because she acts like work is the mean girls movie. I started working for this company October of 2023, I was hired in as the full time key holder. I do have a four year old that goes to school and due to kids having germs my daughter was sick a lot so I did have to call in, I don’t have much help babysitter wise so I HAD to stay home to take care of her. I didn’t call in every other day it was like twice every so often. Regina didn’t like that and resented me for choosing to take care of my daughter rather than work, so she told our boss that she should have the position because she doesn’t have a kid and would be available more. Our boss talked to me so I sacrificed the position so she could have it, now I’m not mad, upset or jealous that I don’t have the full time position it’s just hard to make a living working part time hours only making 10.55 an hour. If I knew what was to come I would have NEVER sacrificed the full time position. I do have a steady babysitter now so I’m working as much as I can so I can provide for my daughters need, kids are expensive and my daughters birthday is coming up so I asked for extra hours.
Days after Regina and I switched positions she started to act like she was made out of gold, like a golden child would. She would ALWAYS rub it in my face that she now was the full time key holder and always bragged how much more an hour she makes. She would ask all of our coworkers what their pay was and then would tell them how much she makes. I don’t care how much she makes, though higher pay would make my living situation easier. I grew up poor so I already adapted to a life of poverty and I’m honestly okay with it, sometimes it’s harder than other times but I make it work with what I have. Money to me is just paper, I can’t take it to the grave with me. Regina stoped me in the back room and said “I hope your not mad” I asked “why would I be mad” Regina replied with “because I make way more money than you” I smiled “well, I honestly don’t care. I couldn’t care less about money” Regina’s face got sour and cold because she knew she wasn’t getting under my skin. She replied with “oh, I thought you were”. I chuckled and said “no” and continued what I was doing.
Some time goes where nothing was happening but I could feel that something was brewing. It was the calm before the storm is what I’d call it. Now around this time I was going through a break up and was not feeling the best in my own skin and Regina knew this and used it as her ammunition. She started to call me her fat friend and then gave me hugs, I felt awkward because I do not like to be touched due to some very tramatic events . I’m bigger, I’m not skinny but I’m also not severely obese. Regina started to poke me and grab my fat and jiggle it. The first time she did, it was in front of two other female coworkers. They weren’t nice either, I’ll call them Gretchen and Karen, they were all in on this. When Regina grabbed my fat and giggled it Gretchen and Karen watched and laughed. I asked Regina “what are you doing” she responded with “I just wanted to feel how squishy it is”. Me being a non confrontational person I say “oh, don’t do that” still being nice and smiling, though I felt what was left of my self esteem completely shatter. I brushed it off and walked up to where all three of the mean girls were to ask a question about work since I was the only one doing something. Before I could even ask the question Gretchen goes behind me, makes a fist and lightly punched my back fat making it jiggle. All the girls laugh, I could feel my face getting hot and tears forming in my eyes as my heart sank to my stomach. I went to the bathroom for a moment to gather myself. This would go one for weeks, and every time it happened I would ask her to stop or to leave me be, each time she disregarded what I asked. During this time she would tell every coworker that I was a bad worker, I didn’t do what I was supposed to and if I did I would do a horrible job. There are so many other things she has said to others one that hurt the most was her saying it was annoying that I talk about my daughter so much. Now this whole time I thought we were friends, I’m a very forgiving person and I’m super nice even to people who don’t deserve it so when I heard about everything she was saying I was hurt I was so confused because she even asked to be my daughters god mother though she was never in my daughters life. I know friends don’t treat friends like that but I was just happy I could call someone a friend after years of having no one due to becoming a mom and losing myself in motherhood. I call my kindness and willingness to forgive a blessing and a curse because it truly is.
After finding out about everything she was saying, the drama and the physical touching which is actually bulling and harassment I finally went to my boss. It took me almost two months to tell her what was going on and how I felt. I hated every second explaining the torment to her, my boss is a lovey person and is super sweet. I couldn’t imagine how she felt hearing all of this, I truly felt like I was going to puke. I was so uncomfortable I couldn’t bear to work any longer without the help of my boss. My boss did talk to Regina and she said that she seems like she will be better and will stop the nonsense. A day after she was talked to Regina poked my back fat and laughed, she was shocked at how I responded. This time I wasn’t nice I turned to her and pretty much yelled “don’t touch me” she immediately apologized. I was surprised with how I responded as well, I actually stood up for myself and it felt nice. I did tell my boss she touched me again so Regina was talked to again and was extremely pissed. She started acting really passive aggressive, avoiding me and slamming things and being rude to everyone even customers. Me, being the nice person I am I decided that I would forgive her. Dumb of me, I know. I wrote her a four or five page letter explaining how everything made me feel , how bad of a friend she was and that I would teach her how to be a good friend. I even bought her a candle and some other stuff along with the letter I went as far as going over to her house to help her clean. She cried a lot when she read the letter and cried to me saying how bad of a friend she was, I hugged her back and said that it was okay and I forgive her. After that is was okay for a while until I witnessed her take drinks without paying for them and told my boss. After this, it was like a war.
I have never gotten in trouble with anyone, anywhere with anything, I guess I’m a goodie-two-shoes. Though I do have anger problems I have found ways to cope and deal with my anger, I’ve been working really hard to not get angry at Regina even though she deserves to hear what the mama bear side of me wants to say. I want to be gentle, I want to be nice and forgiving, I don’t want to be angry. But I knew I had to set some sturdy boundaries in order to keep my sanity. These past few weeks have been hell, in summary I caught her talking bad about me to my boss, she was lying about me, blaming me and others for things we didn’t do. With one situation in particular she turned the tables , when hearing this my adrenaline started to course through my veins, I stared to shake so bad. I went up to her and told her that was not how the story went. She got so scared seeing me so mad and shaking. She apologized to our boss for lying but not to me, my other coworker helped me calm down and thank god she did because I was going to quit right there and then. To summarize other things she has done I will just list them -tried to frame another coworker for theft to the point the coworker cried to our boss -tried to take credit for the work I did -talks bad about other managers and workers in other stores -gave out the phone numbers and emails of our hr and of our boss’s boss -made me work off the clock to train new people because she didn’t want to train them -purposely trained me wrong and is hesitant with teaching me new things to the point my boss has to and when I learn she gets mad and jealous because she’s threatened by my work ethic -yelled at me in front of a customer to the point the customer came back to complain about Regina to our boss and another coworker
And so many more but, the most recent is her blaming me for not locking the doors at close when it was her that didn’t do it correctly, the alarm company called my boss at night and the cops came to our Joanns and everything. I have several eye witnesses watch her do it. I told my boss to watch the cameras because I have nothing to lie about and Regina still is trying to blame me. This is where I draw the line, I will not forgive her so easily this time. Forgiveness without changed behavior is just manipulation. I am not the only one who has complained about her, many of our coworker have switched their availability to when I work or when my boss works because they don’t want to deal with Regina. Tension is very high and I’m afraid of what is to come.

Well, I didn’t think things would come this far or have to be like this. I want to start off by saying that I am not perfect, I do make plenty of mistakes and i will continue to make mistakes. I’m writing this because a coworker of mine decided to make a post about me and completely lied.
I work for Jo-Ann fabrics and I love it, I love the atmosphere and I love the people- the customers and coworkers. Well, except one. For privacy I will call her Regina because she acts like work is the mean girls movie. I started working for this company October of 2023, I was hired in as the full time key holder. I do have a four year old that goes to school and due to kids having germs my daughter was sick a lot so I did have to call in, I don’t have much help babysitter wise so I HAD to stay home to take care of her. I didn’t call in every other day it was like twice every so often. Regina didn’t like that and resented me for choosing to take care of my daughter rather than work, so she told our boss that she should have the position because she doesn’t have a kid and would be available more. Our boss talked to me so I sacrificed the position so she could have it, now I’m not mad, upset or jealous that I don’t have the full time position it’s just hard to make a living working part time hours only making 10.55 an hour. If I knew what was to come I would have NEVER sacrificed the full time position. I do have a steady babysitter now so I’m working as much as I can so I can provide for my daughters need, kids are expensive and my daughters birthday is coming up so I asked for extra hours.
Days after Regina and I switched positions she started to act like she was made out of gold, like a golden child would. She would ALWAYS rub it in my face that she now was the full time key holder and always bragged how much more an hour she makes. She would ask all of our coworkers what their pay was and then would tell them how much she makes. I don’t care how much she makes, though higher pay would make my living situation easier. I grew up poor so I already adapted to a life of poverty and I’m honestly okay with it, sometimes it’s harder than other times but I make it work with what I have. Money to me is just paper, I can’t take it to the grave with me. Regina stoped me in the back room and said “I hope your not mad” I asked “why would I be mad” Regina replied with “because I make way more money than you” I smiled “well, I honestly don’t care. I couldn’t care less about money” Regina’s face got sour and cold because she knew she wasn’t getting under my skin. She replied with “oh, I thought you were”. I chuckled and said “no” and continued what I was doing.
Some time goes where nothing was happening but I could feel that something was brewing. It was the calm before the storm is what I’d call it. Now around this time I was going through a break up and was not feeling the best in my own skin and Regina knew this and used it as her ammunition. She started to call me her fat friend and then gave me hugs, I felt awkward because I do not like to be touched due to some very tramatic events . I’m bigger, I’m not skinny but I’m also not severely obese. Regina started to poke me and grab my fat and jiggle it. The first time she did, it was in front of two other female coworkers. They weren’t nice either, I’ll call them Gretchen and Karen, they were all in on this. When Regina grabbed my fat and giggled it Gretchen and Karen watched and laughed. I asked Regina “what are you doing” she responded with “I just wanted to feel how squishy it is”. Me being a non confrontational person I say “oh, don’t do that” still being nice and smiling, though I felt what was left of my self esteem completely shatter. I brushed it off and walked up to where all three of the mean girls were to ask a question about work since I was the only one doing something. Before I could even ask the question Gretchen goes behind me, makes a fist and lightly punched my back fat making it jiggle. All the girls laugh, I could feel my face getting hot and tears forming in my eyes as my heart sank to my stomach. I went to the bathroom for a moment to gather myself. This would go one for weeks, and every time it happened I would ask her to stop or to leave me be, each time she disregarded what I asked. During this time she would tell every coworker that I was a bad worker, I didn’t do what I was supposed to and if I did I would do a horrible job. There are so many other things she has said to others one that hurt the most was her saying it was annoying that I talk about my daughter so much. Now this whole time I thought we were friends, I’m a very forgiving person and I’m super nice even to people who don’t deserve it so when I heard about everything she was saying I was hurt I was so confused because she even asked to be my daughters god mother though she was never in my daughters life. I know friends don’t treat friends like that but I was just happy I could call someone a friend after years of having no one due to becoming a mom and losing myself in motherhood. I call my kindness and willingness to forgive a blessing and a curse because it truly is.
After finding out about everything she was saying, the drama and the physical touching which is actually bulling and harassment I finally went to my boss. It took me almost two months to tell her what was going on and how I felt. I hated every second explaining the torment to her, my boss is a lovey person and is super sweet. I couldn’t imagine how she felt hearing all of this, I truly felt like I was going to puke. I was so uncomfortable I couldn’t bear to work any longer without the help of my boss. My boss did talk to Regina and she said that she seems like she will be better and will stop the nonsense. A day after she was talked to Regina poked my back fat and laughed, she was shocked at how I responded. This time I wasn’t nice I turned to her and pretty much yelled “don’t touch me” she immediately apologized. I was surprised with how I responded as well, I actually stood up for myself and it felt nice. I did tell my boss she touched me again so Regina was talked to again and was extremely pissed. She started acting really passive aggressive, avoiding me and slamming things and being rude to everyone even customers. Me, being the nice person I am I decided that I would forgive her. Dumb of me, I know. I wrote her a four or five page letter explaining how everything made me feel , how bad of a friend she was and that I would teach her how to be a good friend. I even bought her a candle and some other stuff along with the letter I went as far as going over to her house to help her clean. She cried a lot when she read the letter and cried to me saying how bad of a friend she was, I hugged her back and said that it was okay and I forgive her. After that is was okay for a while until I witnessed her take drinks without paying for them and told my boss. After this, it was like a war.
I have never gotten in trouble with anyone, anywhere with anything, I guess I’m a goodie-two-shoes. Though I do have anger problems I have found ways to cope and deal with my anger, I’ve been working really hard to not get angry at Regina even though she deserves to hear what the mama bear side of me wants to say. I want to be gentle, I want to be nice and forgiving, I don’t want to be angry. But I knew I had to set some sturdy boundaries in order to keep my sanity. These past few weeks have been hell, in summary I caught her talking bad about me to my boss, she was lying about me, blaming me and others for things we didn’t do. With one situation in particular she turned the tables , when hearing this my adrenaline started to course through my veins, I stared to shake so bad. I went up to her and told her that was not how the story went. She got so scared seeing me so mad and shaking. She apologized to our boss for lying but not to me, my other coworker helped me calm down and thank god she did because I was going to quit right there and then. To summarize other things she has done I will just list them -tried to frame another coworker for theft to the point the coworker cried to our boss -tried to take credit for the work I did -talks bad about other managers and workers in other stores -gave out the phone numbers and emails of our hr and of our boss’s boss -made me work off the clock to train new people because she didn’t want to train them -purposely trained me wrong and is hesitant with teaching me new things to the point my boss has to and when I learn she gets mad and jealous because she’s threatened by my work ethic -yelled at me in front of a customer to the point the customer came back to complain about Regina to our boss and another coworker
And so many more but, the most recent is her blaming me for not locking the doors at close when it was her that didn’t do it correctly, the alarm company called my boss at night and the cops came to our Joanns and everything. I have several eye witnesses watch her do it. I told my boss to watch the cameras because I have nothing to lie about and Regina still is trying to blame me. This is where I draw the line, I will not forgive her so easily this time. Forgiveness without changed behavior is just manipulation. I am not the only one who has complained about her, many of our coworker have switched their availability to when I work or when my boss works because they don’t want to deal with Regina. Tension is very high and I’m afraid of what is to come.

One thing that I really enjoy when getting into stories is coming up with song compilations/playlists that remind of the work, the characters, and/or the ship (which I guess could be considered "fanwork" in some respect? But I was also considering the "appreciation" flair as well. Please let me know which is more fitting!). I have been working on creating some of these songlists for 188 couples, complete with sections of the lyrics which I think fit the best.
I recently finalised HanGu's first (more to come in the future), so I wanted to share it with the 188 subreddit in case anyone else was interested. Feel free to suggest other songs below as well!
Taeyeon - INVU
Falling in love
To you, I’m just an option
You and I were different from the beginning
Broken heart
Your missed mention
I’m used to it, yeah
"Don't lean"
"Don't even expect"
Even if I rеpeat it over and over
With your onе touch
Watching me collapse
How do you feel about it?
, no-no, no
I guess I lost my mind
Yeah, it's my kind of love (Love)
Like it's always the first time
It hurts me again since I'm so clumsy (It hurts me again since I'm so clumsy)
Before I get dull
Before I even get healed
I mess up my mind
So I can't love you
Even though I do
Even if I push you away
I can't beat you
Even I abandon myself
And lose myself more
The irony is that you shine more
It hurts but I can't stop it
So when you leave
Please make it easy
'Cause I-N-V-U
Hayley Reardon - Losing
And you walk on by with that stupid smile
And I’m trying to move on, but it’s not worth my while
‘Cause when I see your face, I lose all control
Why do I always have to play this desperate role?
‘Cause you love me then you don’t
You can have me and you won’t
Why are you so confusing?
It’s a never ending game, and what’s complicated is
I always end up losing
How am I supposed to know what you feel?
When it’s something that you won’t reveal
Emmelie de Forest - Only Teardrops
The sky is red tonight
We're on the edge tonight
No shooting star to guide us
So come and face me now
Here on the stage tonight
Let's leave the past behind us
Eye for an eye
Why tear each other apart?
Please tell me why
Why do we make it so hard?
Look at us now
We only got ourselves to blame
It's such a shame
How many times can we win and lose?
How many times can we break the rules between us?
Only teardrops
How many times do we have to fight?
How many times till we get it right between us?
Only teardrops
Svala - Paper
I can’t leave you
But you make me feel like
Paper
You cut right through
I’m stuck like glue to you
Paper
Your darkness pulls
I lose control again
Drawing every bit of my truth
Colour me in with your blue
Paper
You cut right through
A thousand words for you
Bebe Rexha & Louis Tomlinson - Back to You
I know you say you know me, know me well
But these days I don't even know myself, no
I thought I would own the way I felt, yeah
Oh, you stress me out, you kill me
You drag me down, you fuck me up
We're on the ground, we're screaming
I don't know how to make it stop
I love it, I hate it
And I can't take it
But I keep on coming back to you
Ellie Goulding - Something In the Way You Move
But this heart is open, bloodstain on my sleeve
When our eyes meet, I can only see the end
But tonight I'm here, yours again
There's something in the way you do
There's something in the way you
Push me closer, further
Break me just enough
Your lies always seem so true
There's nothing left for me to lose
There's not one thing I can do to change your ways
But I can't sit back and take the lonely days
When our eyes meet, I can only see the end
And tonight the rain pours again
But tonight I'm gonna lose it all
Playing with fire, I was the first to fall
Heart is sinking like a cannonball
Baby, kill it, what you waiting for?
Crusher-P - Thunderstorm
I have no place being here
No, not anymore
I should've run while I could
When it began to pour
The temperature drops at the sound of your name
Storm chasing is always a dangerous game
Like a tornado, you swept me off my feet
And like a blizzard, you chill every bone in me
I am left with nothing here
Empty handed in the rain
The people we once were got lost in the hurricane
I was the lightning
You were the sound that followed me
The storm is coming
Streets are flooding
But I can’t leave
I'd give anything for the eye of the storm
We were a natural disaster in the realest form
And all I've got left is the aching in my heart
And all I've got left is the rain coming down
Hard, hard, hard
Taylor Swift - Wildest Dreams
He said, "Let's get out of this town
Drive out of the city, away from the crowds"
I thought, "Heaven can't help me now"
Nothing lasts forever
But this is gonna take me down
He's so tall and handsome as hell
He's so bad, but he does it so well
I can see the end as it begins
His hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room
And his voice is a familiar sound
Nothin' lasts forever
But this is gettin' good now
He's so tall and handsome as hell
He's so bad, but he does it so well
You'll see me in hindsight
Tangled up with you all night
Burnin' it down
Someday, when you leave me
I bet these memories
Follow you around
Lana Del Rey - Young and Beautiful
I've seen the world, done it all
Had my cake now
Diamonds, brilliant,
and Bel Air now
Hot summer nights, mid-July
When you and I were forever wild
The crazy days, city lights
The way you'd play with me like a child
I've seen the world, lit it up as my stage now
Channelling angels in the new age now
Hot summer days
, rock and roll
The way you'd play for me at your show
And all the ways I got to know
Your pretty face and electric soul
Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?
Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul?
I know you will, I know you will, I know that you will
Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?
Adam Lambert - Better Than I Know Myself
Cold as ice
And more bitter than a December
Winter night
That's how I treated you
And I know that I
I sometimes tend to lose my temper
And I cross the line
But I could never
Leave your side
No matter what I say
'Cause if I wanted to go
I would've gone by now but
I really need you near me
Keep my mind off the edge
If I wanted to leave, I would've left by now
But you're the only one that knows me
Better than I know myself
All along
I tried to pretend it didn't matter
If I was alone
But deep down I know
If you were gone
For even a day, I wouldn't know which way to turn
'Cause I'm lost without you
You're the only thing in this world
I would die without
Marianas Trench - All To Myself
I don't patronise, I realise
I'm losing and this is my real life
I'm half asleep, and I am wide awake
This habit is always so hard to break
I don't wanna be the bad guy
I've been blaming myself and I think you know why
I'm killing time and time's killing you
Every way that I do
It's not enough, it's never enough
And I wish I could breathe without getting it stuck
Can't focus it, but I try it
Over and over again
Did you say, "Please just follow me?"
I thought you wanted me
'Cause I can't stay with someone else
I'll try and suck it up
I just keep fucking up
I want you all to myself
Did you say, "Please just follow me?"
I thought you wanted me
'Cause I want you all to myself
I can try and suck it up
I just can't suck it up
Make me feel like someone else
Selena Gomez & The Scene - Love You Like a Love Song
It's been said and done
Every beautiful thought's been already sung
And I guess right now, here's another one
So your melody will play on and on
With the best of 'em
You are beautiful
Like a dream come alive, incredible
A centrefold miracle, lyrical
You saved my life again
Constantly
Boy, you play through my mind like a symphony
There's no way to describe what you do to me
You just do to me what you do
And it feels like I've been rescued
I've been set free
I am hypnotised by your destiny
You are magical, lyrical, beautiful, you are
No one compares
You stand alone to every record I own
Music to my heart, that's what you are
A song that goes on and on
Selena Gomez & The Scene - A Year Without Rain
Can you feel me when I think about you?
With every breath I take
Every minute, no matter what I do
My world is an empty place
Like I've been wanderin' the desert for a thousand days
Don't know if it's a mirage, but I always see your face, baby
I'm missin' you so much
Can't help it, I'm in love
A day without you is like a year without rain
I need you by my side
Don't know how I'll survive
A day without you is like a year without rain

When I was around 13 years old, I was a young stupid teenager, and hanging out with my friends, and we were all saying inflammatory things, and I said, "Yeah, if I turn 30, and I haven't accomplished anything, I'll probably just kill myself." It was an awful thing to say, and I can't believe I said it.
Well, I turned 29. I had probably close to 50 jobs, and had a complete discontentment with my life and civilization, and was contemplating suicide, and then I had a full-blown spiritual awakening, saw a vision of Jesus, God and Satan, and went through an immense dark night of the soul and personal transformation of the heart.
I just have this verse on my heart right now thinking about it, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits, [Psalm 18:21]" and it just reminds me of what I said when I was a teenager.
I know God heard that and knew that he wasn't going to let me die of suicide. He was watching me the whole time, and he cared about me, and he didn't want to lose me.
Three years ago, I was a 29-year-old man whose life had become defined by isolation. Once curious and engaged with the world in my youth, I had slowly withdrawn into myself from depression, retreating into the comfort of my room in my mother's house. My agnostic atheism left me without a guiding light, and the mundane realities of life, from my dozens of failed jobs to my ongoing struggles with addiction, weighed heavily on my spirit. I found solace instead in the company of strategy games and suffered deeply in the rabbit hole of conspiracies on the internet.
My addictions had become an ever-tightening grip on my life. I found myself reaching for cannabis, alcohol, video games, fast food, and pornography to fill the void that had grown in my heart over the years. My life had become a series of hollow habits, each one leaving me feeling emptier than before. I could no longer deny that something was deeply wrong.
One day, while browsing online, I stumbled upon a post that claimed Thoth, the ancient Egyptian deity of knowledge and wisdom, could help those who asked for his assistance. Intrigued, I wondered if reaching out to Thoth could provide me with the help I needed.
Weeks passed since reading the post, and as I stood in my shower, my thoughts drifted to the crossroads my life seemed to have come to. I asked myself why I was stuck in a cycle of self-destructive behaviors and why I felt such a profound sense of emptiness. The steam from the shower enveloped me as I said aloud, "Thoth, if you are real, I really need your help right now. I don't want to live like this anymore; I don't want to die yet." As I spoke the words, my hand moved from the side of my body, and then to my forehead and heart, while making a hand-sign and I felt at peace.
I was stunned, realizing the hand-sign I had made was eerily similar to ones I had seen in paintings of Jesus. I was stunned but felt an unusual calmness wash over me. As I dried off and dressed, I pondered what had just happened. I went to the full-body mirror in my room, looking at myself. I saw someone I no longer recognized, someone I no longer wanted to be.
Once more, I said, "Thoth, if you are real, will you help me? This isn't who I want to be anymore." I stared at myself in the mirror, and slowly a vision began to form in my eyes. It wasn’t Thoth I saw, but Jesus.
Jesus appeared with long brown hair, a brown beard, brown eyes, and light brown skin. Half of his face was illuminated by light, while the other half was cast in shadow. The vision of Jesus was so vivid that it left me both in awe and at peace. As the vision of him faded, I remember reaching out to him because I didn't want him to go, I could tell he was here to help.
As night fell, I lay in my bed, lost in deep contemplation. I revisited the events of the day, focusing on the vision of Jesus. The clarity of the vision was imprinted on my mind, and I couldn't shake the feeling that it held a deeper meaning. I pondered the nature of good and evil, and how they were intertwined in a complex dance of duality. I found myself questioning whether the traditional view of evil as something to be hated and shunned was truly the right approach. Instead, I began to entertain the idea that perhaps evil people and perhaps even evil itself, could be understood with compassion and empathy, instead of hatred and disgust.
As I continued to ponder, I experienced a peculiar sensation in my head. It was as though something shifted in the center of my brain, around the area of my third eye or pineal gland. There was a slight pop like a tearing or crunching sound, it was not painful, but surprising nonetheless. I then felt a fluid movement from the left hemisphere of my brain to the right hemisphere, using the third eye as a bridge or something. This shift brought me a sense of balance and calmness I had not felt before. I realized I had been living predominantly in the logical part of my brain, instead of emotional side.
As I embraced this newfound state of relaxation, I began to see another vision in my mind. This time, it was God who appeared. God had long white hair, a white beard, and wore white robes and sandals. Then God began dancing, moving with joy and lightheartedness.
Before I could fully process what I was seeing, another figure appeared alongside God. It was Satan, with red skin and horns. Satan seemed curious and playful, attempting to imitate God's dance moves with enthusiasm. The sight of these two seemingly opposing forces dancing together struck me as surreal.
As I watched them dance, I found myself smiling, and really enjoying the moment. Then, my mind wandered to the Russian squat dance, a thought that seemed to come out of nowhere. To my amazement, God began performing the Russian squat dance, his movements precise and fluid. I couldn't help but laugh. It was awesome and hilarious.
Slowly, they both faded away, leaving me in a state of awe and wonder. I realized that my third eye had opened, granting me access to a deeper level of perception and understanding.
I lay in my bed for a few moments, attempting to grasp the profound implications of the vision I had just experienced. The reality of the spiritual world was undeniable now. God, Jesus, Satan, and other spiritual beings were real, their presence deeply embedded within my new understanding. This stark realization overwhelmed me, and I felt an immense fear wash over me, it was like the Eye of Sauron was upon me, or the eye of Satan.
I began pacing frantically around my room, gasping for air as I tried to process the magnitude of my new awareness. My mind felt as if it were on the brink of shattering; I couldn't comprehend what was happening. The very foundation of my reality had shifted, leaving me teetering on the edge of my sanity.
Despite my racing thoughts and heart, I managed to steady myself using deep breathing techniques I had learned in the past from Wim Hof. My frantic pace gradually slowed, and I returned to my bed, trying to make sense of everything.
I deduced that the condition commonly known as schizophrenia might not be what people thought it was. Instead, it could be an individual's heightened sensitivity to the spirit world, a world most people never perceived.
As I lay in bed, still reeling from my panic, I suddenly saw a vision of Satan. He had red skin and horns, and spoke directly to me, expressing admiration for my deduction. Satan confirmed that what I thought was true: many people were speaking to demons, believing themselves to be schizophrenic. This deceptive world was, indeed, a harsh reality.
I tried to take in Satan's words, but a sensation of something being pulled out of me struck me. It felt as though my very soul was being drained from my body. My energy depleted rapidly, and I was overcome by a sense of impending doom. I lost control of my bodily functions, believing that I was moments away from death.
At the moment when I thought I was succumbing to death, I caught sight of an Easter lily I had bought earlier that day, sitting on my desk. The sight of the beautiful lily sparked a powerful desire to live within me. Fueled by a newfound will to survive coursing through me, I leaped out of my bed, and began pacing back and forth in my room once more, gasping for air.
As I walked, I experienced a series of visions featuring characters I admired and found inspiration from—Master Yoda from Star Wars, Aang from Avatar: The Last Airbender, and Neo from The Matrix. I realized that God had shown me these characters because they were a source of moral guidance and strength in my life.
My thoughts then turned to the physical pain I was experiencing. My awareness of the spirit world had heightened significantly, causing my brain to start heating up, and I felt a piercing pain and ballooning sensation near my right temple, which deeply concerned me.
Every time I had a thought, I could feel my brain stem wiggle and I would feel pain in my right temple, so I had to learn to still or quiet my mind. Recognizing that I needed to take action to cool my head and relieve the pain, with a sort of just knowing of what I had to do, I resolved to get a large bowl of ice water and head to the basement.
I quietly left my room so as not to wake my mother, who was sleeping in her room nearby, and ventured downstairs to the basement
At this point you could say I was "possessed" by spirits, Thoth, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. I was able to rest my consciousness in my third eye, and the Holy Spirit, Thoth, or Jesus could help me and take move my body to keep me alive. There was no way for me to survive without help.
The holy spirit showed me a specific breathing technique to diffuse the energy in my brain by inhaling through my mouth deeply, and then exhaling through my nose in the water. The vibration of exhaling through my nose into the water would cause my brain to feel soothed for a little while, likely stimulating my vagus nerve too, and I believe it was doing something with the fluid in my brain. When I was able to not be at the water, I had to keep pressure on the center of my forehead to rest in my third eye so they could help me.
I remember pacing between the two sections of my basement, and Thoth was helping me breathe just to stay conscious. One half of the basement was bright with light with concrete floors, which is where the bowl of water was, the washer and drier, a sink, and four litter boxes. On the other side of the basement was dark with a carpeted floor and a wood fireplace. The basement's light was painted in the duality of light and dark.
I remained in the basement until the sun rose, soaking my head in icewater, and pacing back and forth between the dark and light rooms because i would become overly sensitive to one particular room, and I was just trying to breathe to stay conscious. I was battling the spirit of fear the entire night. The fear from my initial awakening and the fear of death over and over again, hundreds if not thousands of times.
I soaked my head in the ice water all night, getting momentary breaks from the water, and certain I was going to die hundreds of times from a brain hemorrhage, I stood on the hard pavement for hours, I remember Jesus was my legs at one point, I could feel him focusing through me to keep me standing. I continuously soaked my head in the ice water to combat the piercing pain and ballooning sensation in my right temple. Throughout the night, I heard voices speaking to me—some belonging to what I would call demons and others to angels.
The demons tried to instill fear in me, convincing me I was going to die. While the angels offered comfort and reassurance, telling me I would be okay. Despite the torment I endured, I found profound inner strength and refused to give up. I remember squeezing my Celtic cross necklace so hard during this time.
The sun rose on the second day, I had been awake all night, I was beyond exhausted. I don't remember all of the specifics of this time, my awakening was very traumatic, but several hours passed and I remember being told that I needed to grab a book and go outside down the street and sit by a tree. I refused, and Satan said, "Do you want to die?" I said "No," and grabbed a book and went outside and walked down the street to a tree and sat with my back leaned against it.
I read my book for about 10 minutes when two women carrying their babies in slings approached me, and asked me what I was reading. I told them the name of the book, Inner Engineering by Sadghuru, and they said that they were doing a prayer walk, and wanted to share the gospel message with me. I knew this was a divine appointment. This was meant to happen.
They shared the gospel message with me, and then offered to let me join their community of house churches, and gave me the number of one of their husbands so I could call and get connected with them.
I spent the rest of the day relaxing, but was unable to sleep and barely ate anything, and once the night fell, I was in the basement again, soaking my head in ice water. I would often get relief during the days when the sun was out, and then at night, it was a brutal spiritual battle all night in the basement where I was fighting for my life.
On the second day, I was in the kitchen, and I had the right side of my head in the ice water, and was moving my head up to breathe in through my mouth, and then I would tilt my head back down and exhale my entire breath out through my nose. I didn't know what I was doing, I was just listening to guidance from what I believe was the holy spirit.
After around 15-20 minutes of intense exhaling through my nose, a ton of white viscous liquid started coming out of my nose, and filling the bowl, it wasn't painful at all, it was a massive relief, and the excess fluid in my head was somehow being drained out. When the process was done, I remember I felt amazing, incredible actually, like my head was clear of all confusion, and I was so very much alive and conscious.
I went outside and was swinging a stick like a sword and having fun, and I think I got a little overzealous and jumped the fence behind my house, and started going on an adventure. After around 3-5 minutes though, the fluid started building back up, and I had to soak my head in a puddle to keep my brain cool. When I returned home, I went back to the water to soak my head. I still hadn't slept.
That night was brutal, and I was suffering badly, and I remember I was sitting on the dark side of the basement, but I had turned on the lamp. I was sitting on pillows, and I had just been soaking my head in the water. Satan then told me that in order to save the world, I would have to die by popping my third eye. I don't know why I believed him, I didn't have discernment at the time, and I was just following whatever guidance was coming my way, but I know that I had to do that to find my true strength.
I sat for a moment and contemplated. I grabbed a wooden walking stick that was nearby, and I moved it to my forehead, and pushed it into the center of my head as hard as I could until my arms literally gave out. I thought of my mom and sister, and I wanted the world to be free from suffering, but I wasn't meant to die that day. I cried very hard, and I learned that the human skull is very strong. I got up and went back to the ice water, and my forehead was numb.
Eventually, after three days and nights of this suffering, following the path God laid out before me, I reached my complete breaking point. I declared to the spirits that I had had enough. I was done soaking my head in ice water and I slowly and bravely removed my head from the bowl of water.
I was shivering so badly. These weren't just cold shivers, these were spiritual shivers, they shake you to your very core. I felt awful. Those who have been delivered will know what I am speaking about when I saw spiritual shivers. I spread out pillows on the floor, and lay down to rest. As I settled in, I pulled the blanket over me, and I remember I felt the comforting presence of Jesus, he was tucking me in.
I slept for just a few hours and awoke up early on Saturday morning. I remember my head hurt and it felt like the left side of my head was full of fluid. I grabbed the bowl of ice water, and this time, however, I decided to sit outside. The pain in my head was still excruciating, and I thought I might die.
My mother saw me outside, and concerned about my well-being, approached me to check if I was okay. I told her to call the ambulance because I needed help, and she quickly complied. When the paramedics arrived, they took me to the hospital, where I hoped I would receive the medical care I desperately needed, but that wasn't what was in store for me.
I got to the hospital, and the medical establishment, unfortunately, has no empathy or concern for people's mental sufferings. I asked them for water to drink because I was so dehydrated, and they wouldn't give me water.
Then, I got admitted to the hospital, and they finally gave me some juice and a snack, and I was starting to relax, but then a voice came into my head, it was Satan, and he made me think I needed to soak my head in the icewater again and expel the white viscous fluid again, so I started panicking a bit and had them bring me a bowl of ice water, and I began soaking my head.
They had probably never seen anything like what I was doing, and thought I was just crazy, because they basically came after me and tied me to the bed, and forcefully injected me with something to make me calm down or sleep, and then they didn't talk to me at all anymore throughout the night.
I am claustrophobic, so being tied down was absolute torture for me. They left me in the dark hospital room suffering all night, tied to the bed, thinking I was going to die the entire night, and then finally the sun rose on the horizon, and when the nurse came in to draw my blood in the morning, I asked them to request security to release me from the restraints. They have no empathy for people. Something is deeply wrong with the medical system.
Anyways, they finally sent me to an in-patient mental health clinic which is honestly just a warehouse for people to take meds, sleep, and eat, away from society. It was honestly a welcome respite, but there's no therapy available at these places. Which means no real internal healing is taking place for people suffering.
Once I got to the in-patient mental health clinic, I spent the first day mostly just relaxing, but there was a man there that was definitely possessed by a demon. He would be shouting a bunch of biblical verses about the kingdom of God, and a lot more, and then he would be on the floor the next, flailing around, being tortured by a demon. One of the other patients there told me he is being tortured by something, and I see what she means now.
I spent the rest of my time there recovering the best I could, and just taking the meds to calm down, and try to get some sleep, and spent time listening to people's stories. One of the girls there told me that the wound on my forehead from when I pushed the wooden staff into my forehead, looked like a cross, and she was right.
When I got out of the in-patient mental health clinic, I called the number that I had received during my three days and nights dark night of the soul.
I joined their community of house churches, and was studying the Bible with them for several months and meeting with them frequently, and I thought I had found my forever friends. We would go on prayer walks, and I was eventually baptized at a lake, and thought that I had a new life of faith waiting for me with new friends.
They were concerned about my well-being and cared about me, but a small part of me felt like I was being controlled by them too, like they wanted me to conform to all of their beliefs and everything in the Bible as fact, and the word of God, and I have always been very sensitive to manipulation since I was a child, and I could tell they were manipulating me. They never left room for me to be myself, and share my beliefs without condemnation, which is a major red flag.
Recognizing this, I distanced myself from them, and went on my own spiritual journey where I spent months conversing with the spirit world in my backyard. walking in circles. I spoke to God and Satan/Lucifer and was trying to come to understanding why Satan would reject God's will.
After some time, I realized I was just being tortured, and I needed help. I was suffering from a lot, and I needed deliverance. Satan had taken up a seat in my mind because I let him, and I had demons hurting me. I reached out to the Christian group again after several months of being distant from them, and they said there was an opportunity to move in with some Christian brothers and live with them, so I jumped on the opportunity. I was so excited. I was on fire for God.
I got to the house, and moved my stuff in, and then the night fell on the first night, and the enemy was not having it. The demons and Satan were not having it. They did NOT want me living with my brothers in Christ because they knew I was detached from all the boxes of thought control, and I was living in the spirit, wasn't a slave of mind or spirit. They wanted to destroy our relationship, between us, the brothers of Christ, and they did.
I don't remember the exact sequence of events, but I was entirely in the spirit at the time, I was detached from my body in a way, and just following the path laid out before me. I could feel that I needed to go outside and walk the neighborhood as a part of my spiritual path, so I left the house, and walked barefoot throughout the neighborhood.
While walking the neighborhood, I was in full spirit mode, I was communicating with God and Jesus, and they were guiding me on my path. I saw visions of them sitting beside a tree and trimming off rotten fruit, which I think was symbolic of them removing rotten fruit from my mind. I also saw them sweeping out a room and cleaning it, as if symbolic of my mind, and them cleaning my mind and purifying it. I also remember seeing a symbolic vision of myself holding up a golden gemstone encrusted goblet to God.
During that night, I declared war on the principalities of darkness. Against the forces of darkness. I saw skulls in the clouds, and could tell they were communicating with me as they are spirits of the air.
My feet were bloodied from walking around the neighborhood barefoot, I was completely lost all night, I was new to the neighborhood too, and had no idea where I was, so I wandered for hours throughout the night, so hungry, tired, and thirsty, and just physically and mentally exhausted, but I endured. That night made me realize how strong I really am when I let go of everything and trust in God. When I completely become the spirit instead of the body. The human body is incredible and capable of withstanding far more than we know.
Finally, I found my way to the house, and my footsteps were spilling blood on the front porch. The door was locked, and I knocked, and one of the brothers let me in, and I went to my bedroom. I couldn't sleep at all, my mind was very active, it was very similar to when I had my spiritual awakening, I was just unable to sleep because of how active my mind was. I spent the whole night awake.
The next day, I was suffering horrible spiritual attack, my head was in pain and I was holding my head just to feel comfortable, and one of the brothers called a friend of theirs to come and do a deliverance. I remember them being very bold, but gentle... firm, but kind to me, as they expelled some of the demons through prayer. It wasn't a painful deliverance or too exhausting, it was gentle by comparison. I felt much better after the deliverance, hungry and thirsty again, and wanted to nourish my body. I spent the rest of the day relaxing a bit, and listening to the other believers talk about the Bible, and their beliefs.
That night, I was delivered again, and it was awful. My brothers in Christ shouldn't have done the deliverance, but I don't know if I even would have made the rest of the night it if they didn't. I think the holy spirit guided them to do the deliverance, but it went out of control.
I was in my room, suffering deeply, holding my head, and all three brothers who lived there came up to my room to check on me, and pray for me. Their prayers turned into a full blown deliverance, and demons were screaming out of me for around half an hour straight. They were casting them out in the name of Jesus, but it was awful, it's one of my most traumatic memories. I was suffering so badly, and honestly I could tell the demons were suffering so badly, and my brothers in Christ had zero empathy for me.
After speaking with demons, the brothers wanted to speak with me again, so I came to, I asked them for water, and they denied me, and they just continued the deliverance without giving me a break. I had been suffering for around 45 minutes straight, with demons screaming out of me, and I was beyond exhausted, I was so dehydrated, and I just needed to stop. They didn't care, they kept going.
They kept shouting at these demons in the name of Jesus to leave, and eventually after another ten minutes, I realized, nothing was happening, we weren't getting anywhere, the demons weren't coming out, and they asked to speak with me again, and I came to the forefront and regained control, and tried talking to them, but they were gone. The demons had got into them somehow, and they were filled with hatred and revulsion for me. They all had the same facial expression of hatred and revulsion for me.
I went around the room and pleaded with them that it was me, but they didn't believe me, they were gone, checked out, I tried bringing up memories of what had happened between us that were specific to each person to bring them to understanding that it was me, and in fact not a demon speaking, but they thought I was a demon speaking.
They all grabbed ahold of me, and pinned me down on the bed, but I knew where this was going, the demons in them were going to flood me with fear and fill me with demons again, and I wasn't going to have that, I wasn't going to let them win.
I flailed out of their grasp, told them to get off me, and ran down the stairs and out of the house. I remember as I was running out, Satan told me, "You are the most free person on the planet."
I ran outside, and even the weight of my clothes felt like too much, I was panicking from the trauma of the deliverance and the attack from my brothers, and I stripped off all my clothes and ran down the alley way in the middle of the night and got away from the house.
There were no light, and no one around, and no one followed me, so I just ran down the alley way, and found an abandoned car to sit on for a few minutes until I got a message from God that it was time to go grab my clothes and put my clothes on.
I put my clothes back on, and started walking away from the house because I needed to get some air. That is when one of the other brother's in Christ, the one that I had called initially to join their community of house churches, was there. I think he was guided by the holy spirit to show up there that night.
Anyways, we walked back to the house, and when we got there, there was a cop car and an ambulance there. I guess the brothers had called for a wellness check on me. They wanted to bring me to the hospital to have me evaluated. I protested, but just wanted them to leave me alone, I went with them, and went to the hospital.
Much to no one's surprise, they did nothing for me at the hospital. They just put me in a room where I waited around for 6-8 hours, until I was finally released. I didn't go back to the brother's house though. When they offered me an uber, I went back to my mom's house. I wasn't going to live with them anymore after what they did to me...
A couple weeks passed and two of the brothers who did the deliverance called me, and wanted to schedule a time to meet up so they could minister to me. They came over to my house, and basically told me that I was still demon possessed, and made me feel like there was something wrong with me, and then when I confronted them and asked them if they had a problem with me, they lied to my face, and said that they didn't have a problem with me.
About a month passed and the last brother that was a part of deliverance contacted me and invited me to go to church with him. I told him how that experience made me feel, how I was claustrophobic from childhood trauma and that being pinned down by everyone was horribly traumatic, and he said, "Do you feel better now?" in a sarcastic tone. He completely dismissed how I felt, that hurt me badly.
I went to church with him once, but never went with him again, I also never reconnected with any of the other brothers, and then my life started to become very spiritual. God had a path of understanding laid out before me that most people will not tread.
I began to try to become friends with demons and minister to them and try to turn them to Christ. I had a lot of visions during this time, and I cried a lot. I would walk around my neighborhood and see visions of demons sitting on top of the apartment buildings.
When I would go home, I would have visions of demons in my basement, and would have to drive them out in the name of Jesus. I would speak to them too, and wait and listen for them to telepathically communicate with me.
I remember I was suffering badly though, and I needed to go to in-patient mental health again for help. I needed the meds and a place where I could rest and relax.
During my time there, I was communicating with a spirit named Jezebel, and during that time I was suffering very badly. I won't get into all of the details, but I was becoming friends with her, and we shared a deep laugh about something that I cannot remember anymore, but I remember the laugh. It felt so good to laugh after suffering so badly.
During my time while I was there I was seeing visions of my own death. I was seeing people suffering from demonic attack and spirits of confusion. They couldn't remember who they were, or who other people were.
I prayed for a woman to be delivered that night in her sleep, and the next day she was bright and fresh and happy, and doing so much better. God performed a miracle on her, and saved her. She was a normal person again after entering the hospital in a complete state of confusion. It was miraculous. I was honestly jealous, because I was suffering so badly, and she was delivered overnight in her sleep in a relaxed way, while my time had been so intense.
While I was there though, I was under heavy attack, but I pulled through, God pulled me through too, but when I got home, the journey wasn't over though. I was in a spiritual state for a while, and was seeing visions. I could rest in my third eye, and see the spirit world. It was exhausting, I saw a lot of demons, and had to drive them out in the name of Jesus.
Then one night, I was downstairs, and I was with Satan, Lilith, and a spirit calling itself Baal. I remember Baal was sitting in the middle in front of the fireplace, and Satan was to my left, and Lilith was to my right.
I don't remember what we spoke about, I just spent time with them, and I drank a beer with them, the air was heavy with demonic energy, and then I remember Lilith went over to Satan and kneeled before him, and grabbed him by the hand tenderly and asked him to turn away from his evil ways.
Satan neither accepted nor refused, and then I remember maybe 5 minutes passed and I was doing a full-blown deliverance on Lilith. I was praying for her, and I could see visions of her on the ground flailing around, it was awful, and I hope she is okay.
I don't know how long after that passed, but I was delivered many times during this phase. I was around demons a lot and they would get into me, and I would have to expel them out through vomiting, and it was excruciating.
Several months passed after that where I was okay, I spent months just relaxing and recovering, playing video games, smoking weed, and just relaxing. It was nice, but it wasn't the end of my journey.
My next journey was against Thoth. While he was a great help at the beginning of my spiritual awakening, he is not a perfect being like God, and he tried to overtake me. It's really hard to explain what he did, but he was viciously attacking me spiritually, and I sought help to go to the in-patient mental health clinic again. That was where I went when things got too spiritually charged. I had Medicaid, so I was able to go as needed.
They didn't send me to in-patient this time though, they sent me to a crisis pivot center, which is basically a residential house that is being used to treat people suffering from mental illness, where you can receive meds and sleep in a sort of half-way house between in-patient mental health and being back in the world at home.
Anyways, I was suffering grotesquely from Thoth, he is a VERY powerful entity, perhaps one of the strongest I have faced, and has been more cruel to me than even Satan, and I remember having a conversation with one of the people working there about how I had asked a false God at the beginning of my spiritual awakening for help to fix my life, and how that had caused a bunch of problems.
Eventually, I realized I was not receiving the care that I needed while at the crisis center, so I had them transfer me to hospital. All I wanted to do was sleep. I had been awake for days, and I just wanted sleep, so I was looking for Ambien when I went to the hospital, and that's what I got.
I remember they had admitted me to the emergency, but it was so full that every room was full, so they had me in the hallway, and I was just exhausted, and in a very tired state, but my third eye was opened, and I could sense spirits around me, and Satan, Lilith, and Jezebel were there for me that night.
They were hovering over my bed, and speaking to me telepathically, and asking me if I was okay, they were genuinely concerned for me, and wanted to know if I was okay. It was kind of shocking to be honest. These entities are not known for being nice in any way, but they were there for me that night, and God let them be there for me that night, instead of Jesus or someone else, which i find interesting.
This moment and seeing Lilith kneel before Satan made me realize that entities that we think are pure evil, are more dynamic than just evil. They may have evil in them, or have the ability to evil actions, but they can also be good and support others, like they did with me when I was in such an exhausted and vulnerable state after being delivered from Thoth.
I made it back home, and some time passed and I was in a very spiritual moment. My third eye was very awakened. It seems to happen in cycles. That night was a blizzard, and the air was heavy with demonic energy. This time it was the demiurge.
I remember I had dozens if not hundreds of demons in my room, and they were swirling above my bed, and I kept trying to lay down because I was so exhausted, and I kept being told to not lay down because I would squish a spirit, so I chose to not lay down.
I was whistling the avatar theme for the spirits to uplift them and make them feel better, and during this time I was being possessed by spirits. The room was heavy with spiritual energy.
So much happened that I don't want to get into, but it all lead to me being outside in the blizzard, in the snow storm, naked, and laying down in the snow. I had to be very cold for some reason while interacting with these demons, to keep them from overtaking me, and I remember I had to leave my house behind entirely.
My mom came outside before I left the house and I could feel demonic energy, evil spirits, all around her. There was a presence of wrath around her, and she was angry with me, because I had flooded the bathroom of the house while trying to get cold in the shower.
I left the house, there was a foot of snow on the ground, and I was naked and wandering down the street. I would check in with what I thought was God every once in a while to figure out what was happening with the demons in my bedroom.
For some reason when I would have a thought it would affect them in my room. That's really complicated to get into, and I don't understand it, but regardless, I wandered down the street and around the corner, and that is when the police got me.
They handcuffed me, and put me in the back of the police cruiser, and I remember telling God that the Matrix has me. The police called an ambulance, and they came to get me, I remember they transferred me to the ambulance, and they covered me with blankets, but I didn't want to be warm, I didn't have any control over this situation.
My body started to shut down, and I was struggling to even breathe, and that's when the demiurge appeared. They started speaking to me, and controlling my body to keep me breathing, and that's when I submitted to them, thinking that I was on my own, and God had abandoned me. I told them to fill me with demons, and that I would become a demon lord.
As I would breathe, I could feel demons entering me, spirits. When I got to the hospital, I was possessed by a lot of spirits, and my body was in agony. It's very hard to explain what it feels like, but just imagine discordant energy in your body that makes you feel awful, and physically hurts.
I struggled the entire night, and was in absolute agony. After 6-8 hours I was recovered and feeling better, they had admitted me to the hospital at this time, so I was able to rest in a room and eat plenty of food and recover.
My experience with the demiurge was really traumatic though, but that wasn't the end of my experiences with him.
... to be continued...

Loads of interesting, beautiful and textural gothic beauties, ranging from gourmand to oceanic to atmospheric to floral to woody to leather and earthy moss. I absolutely discount bundles, Paypal, ship US to anywhere (message for out of country rates. :) Mostly indie, some niche and others...
Here's the full list, with notes!
Some highlights, and more from each house:
Deconstructing Eden: Taurus (Solid earth, dark wood, tree moss, green clover, sweet hay, tender green leaves and the barest hint of musk.) Rose over Seoul: River water, moonlight, cool stone, Mugunghwa (rose of Sharon) blooms.
Haus of Gloi: Snow Wolf (Bristling and prowling, lonesome and haunting. Three howling firs, white frankincense, vanilla bean husk, tainted by droplets of blood cedar) Hot Stuff: (Dragon’s blood incense, leather and red musk.)
Hex Mundi: Diamanda (rose, labdanum, incense, fig and galbanum.) Ogre: (For the voice of Skinny Puppy I have created a fragrance of blood, leather, frankincense and myrrh.) Bloodletting: (Sunken deep in a throat that weeps of ancient tombs while smoking clove cigarettes. This is the smell of shambling in NOLA way past midnight.)
Immortal Perfumes: Hades (Belladonna, amber, oak moss, orris, opium, cypress, and narcissus.) Oceans of Time: (Gunpowder, Oak Moss, Vetiver, Ocean Mist, Crushed Roses, Tomato Leaf, Smoke, Amber, Sandalwood) Death in the Afternoon: (Bay Leaf, Tobacco, Fennel, Bergamot, Champagne, Sandalwood, Egyptian Musk, Clovebud)
Lurker & Strange: In Repose: (Casket Wood, Labdanum, Amber, Frankincense, Myrrh, Sandalwood) The Last Muse (Delectable White Chocolate confections, sweet cinnamon-like spicy Cassia, warm and sophisticated Tonka Bean, Spicy Musk, and evocative Moonflower) Lilith: (Apple, Plum, Delicate Rose, Spiced Musk, Heady Labdanum)
Nui Cobalt: Cloak of Evergreens (Snow-covered spruce, iced cedar tips, golden pine sap, icicle musk, and the fading memory of tea by the fireside.) Dendrophilia: Moss-covered deadfall, birchwood and pine, lingering resins and sunlight through the leaves, a trace of woodsmoke, the memory of vetiver and cedar. Wear this evocative blend to commune with the spirits of nature and reconnect with your primal wisdom.
Pineward: Caravansary (fir balsam, deer musk (botanic accord), vanilla, black tea, lavender, blue spruce, blue chamomile, treemoss, incense, mulched pinecone, campfire smoke.)
Clemenpine: (Consenza Clementine, Blood Orange, Maritime Pine, Night-Blooming Jasmine, Saffron Flower, Rough Suede, Passion Fruit, White Lotus, Fir Balsam, Tobacco Leaf, Cedar Planks, Leather, Sandalwood, Pacific Ambergris.)
Boreal: (pine needles, mint, cedar, resins, moss.)
White Fur: orange, ginger, white fir, clove, anise, pine, musk, vetiver, oakmoss
And MANY more from each house. <3 Just send a message! Many happy customers, tracking # provided. Picky swaps, and my ISOs are in there.

	A Victim of Online Fiction	The One Who Walks Alone
Reads last 24 hours	60,000	2100
Reads all time	1,500,000	156,000

A Victim of Online Fiction was starting to stack up reads, while The One Who Walks Alone had become a nice side-hustle. I decided that my next step would be to follow Alex’s advice for once and start banking chapters.
I cut back my schedule to three chapters a week for A Victim of Online Fiction and two a week for The One Who Walks Alone.
Each morning I poured myself a cup of tea, swallowed a pill and hacked out three chapters before lunch, had a call with Alex, went for a quick run and picked up food from a cafe, then it was back home for revisions and occasionally some plotting.
By 5pm I’d be pooped mentally, but physically bursting at the seams. I’d pop another pill or two then saunter off to whatever party was happening that night before waking up in someone’s shrubbery at sunrise.
For a while writing and enjoying myself were all I craved. I was shitting out chapters faster than I’d ever done before, and building a backlog had taken a lot of pressure off the day to day writing.
And then one morning I woke up in a springy little olive tree to the sound of my good friend Manuel yelling at me. Manuel was really excited about something. He kept saying over and over ‘You’re done Eli! You’re done, dude. You really messed up – big time.’
I rubbed my eyes and pulled a couple of leaves from my ear, ‘Huh?’
Manuel grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the tree. He had a tablet in one hand and was laughing. He pushed the tablet into my face, ‘It’s LazyCultivator... the best writer in the entire damn world. She’s calling you out man.’
I pushed a pill between my lips and swallowed, slowly my vision started to clear. Beneath the latest chapter of the chicken story was a massive rant about my books.
‘Woah.’
‘Woah alright,’ Manuel bounced around me, ‘All that stuff you said about the chicken, how you wanted to take her on, she’s just shutting you down. This is going to kill your readership man!’
I frowned, ‘And why are you so happy about this? I thought you were like, in my corner...’
Manuel slapped me on the back, ‘Course I am man, course I am... but this is LazyCultivator we’re talking about... she’s a genius... Shakespeare reborn... the Wuxia Tolkein... the Virginia Woolfe of transcending tropes.’
‘Alright... whatever.’ I straightened my neck, there was this awful kink in it, ‘So yeah, she’s denouncing my work as a piece of shit, but so what? There’s a lot of times I think it's a piece of shit too.’
‘Ah... but you haven’t been read by 100 million people, have you?’
‘Guess not...’
‘She’s never done this to anyone before. Dude. Your career is over. Back to the dungeons you go.’
My stomach was cramping and all of Manuel’s shouting was starting to give me a headache, ‘You’re kind of being an asshole.’
He shrugged, snatched his tablet back, ‘LazyCultivator... how the hell man...’
I turned away from him and started stumbling back to my place. I could feel the pill bubbling as it mixed with the leftover alcohol in my stomach. I paused to throw up, wiped the froth from my lip then continued home. My throat was as dry as the Sahara but I ignored the ice-cold water in my fridge and powered on my computer and sat there for two hours reading the comments beneath LazyCultivator's new chapter.

HamishNO
This guy’s going to the grave.
Sammywakles
Taking on the chicken? Foolish young master. This shall be the death of him.
NOTyet
Review bomb him. We’re gonna take this guy down.
The final comment had 20,000 likes and when I clicked on my story I saw my precious five-star rating had dropped to just above zero. My throat was inflamed, but still, I read. People were trashing my novels. Review bombing them off the featured lists I’d slowly been climbing my way up.
Alex called, I ignored him. He called again. I hung up. He called a third time and I answered. Alex was wearing a suit and a professional black tie.
‘Not a good time to call Alex.’
Alex shook his head, ‘No. It's not. The CEO wants to see you.’
‘What?’
‘Richard Balls, the man who founded this company, the guy who can have your stories deleted like this,’ he snapped his fingers, ‘The guy who can fire me like this,’ he snapped his fingers again. There were tears in his eyes. ‘He wants to see you in half an hour.’
I couldn’t speak. My throat was all dried up.
‘Alex... I...’
He gave this pitiful whine, ‘Put on your most professional-looking clothes. Get in the car when it comes. There’s nothing I can do for you.’
The call ended and the silence struck me like a jumbo jet squashing a slug on the runway.
A glass of water hurt to swallow. The only decent looking shirt I had rasped my skin and a pair of black shoes made my feet heat up. I pushed my pill bottle into the pocket of a pair of black jeans then sat outside. I fidgeted, grazing my knuckles against the concrete of the stairs. The pain tasted good. Like ice.
‘Astra,’ I whispered to myself, imagining her face, ‘Astra.’
I thought about all the weeks that had passed. How good the freedom had felt. How empty it felt now. I knew I needed a friend. I knew I had none. Not here anyway.
A neighbour walked past. His name was Min. He wrote sci-fi, I’d carried him up his steps the Thursday before, he wanted to get married to a girl that wrote horror.
‘Hey Min!’
Min turned to me but his feet didn’t stop. He took one look, his eyes glazed over and he walked on. It was a hot day. Maybe he was thirsty or something.
The limousine they sent for me was black, with a fin-like antenna on top and it cruised the streets like a shark looking for prey.
It came to a stop in front of my house. The back door swung open to reveal a pure black void. I wobbled to my feet then climbed in. I couldn’t see a thing outside as we swung around and around. The only things that differentiated it from my first cell were the plush leather seats. Even so, my breath was rushing in and out faster than I liked.
‘Astra.’ I said to myself, I wondered why I hadn’t bothered trying to contact her, I hadn’t even left a comment on her story. I’d seen hundreds of her comments on mine.
The limo jerked to a stop. The door flew open.
It was like I’d been transported to another planet. The quiet, quaint Village had been replaced by a steel and glass plated monstrosity. People in suits flowed in and out of the front door like blood through arteries – or maybe parasites through a host.
I edged myself out of the limo. The door slammed behind me, and the shark-vehicle sped off. Hands closed around both my arms.
‘Good to see you Mr Hill,’ A security guard on my right said.
‘Mr Balls is waiting for you,’ said the guard on my left. Their grip was casual but firm as we walked towards the doorway.
The elevator in that building was bigger than our entire four-dorm. The bathroom was ten times the size of my cottage, and there were slides, pool tables, domes to sleep in. I wasn’t sure whether the topia I’d wandered into was a utopia or a dystopia.
Finally, we reached Richard Balls office – technically it took up the entire top floor, but most of that was taken up by an indoor golf course, spa, and a floor of secretaries, lawyers and accountants.
The guards made me stand outside for ten minutes while they waited for a signal from Balls. When it finally came they pushed me towards the double doors.

I’m 20 years old and I have made no real progress in my transition. I haven’t even properly come out to myself yet. I feel like if I admit it to myself, it will be real and I’ll have to do something about it, but if I keep brushing it off and acting like my dysphoria is just a phase, I can keep living the way I have been for the past two decades. I have two choices right now. I can come out and medically transition, or I can stay closeted forever. Both are bad. I have a good future ahead of me, I’m doing well in college and am on the path to having a successful career in science, and I feel like biting the bullet and transitioning will screw all of that up, along with ruining my relationship with my family and making myself laughingstock for the rest of my life. On the other hand, if I try to imagine my future as a woman, I genuinely can’t. I feel sick. I would genuinely rather die than suddenly be a 50 year old woman and look back on my life, regretting my decision to not transition 30 years ago. I am struggling with constant suicidal ideation because of this, and it’s frustrating to me that I can’t just choose. I’m stuck in this awful limbo, and I feel like whatever path I take will be wrong. I feel like if I don’t transition, I will be wasting my life and sacrificing my happiness, and I feel like if I do transition, i will destroy my chances of living a fufiling life (in terms of career, love, family, etc). Furthermore, I’m already 20. If I do choose to transition, my body is so heavily influenced by estrogen that I will never look like a real man. I feel like I should just end my life here, as there is no clear path foreword and I can’t stay in this limbo of pre decision forever. That feels like a waste too though, my life is amazing, the only problem is that I am a female.

So this is likely to be a pretty long post but I will try to make it as short as I can I just feel that there is a lot of things that provide context for this so first off I am a 31 yr old female. When I was young about 10 years old, I started to go through puberty. Pretty young yes, but I had yet to start my cycle. I just started having wider hips and developing a bosom and also some attitude I started having some mood swings all perfectly normal. Right. wrong. My mom did not like that I was having mood swings and basically not following her every command so she started me on something for hormones, a natural herb that was supposed to help with the mood swings. Now I think that it caused problems I started my cycle when I was 13 and after a year I was told that I most likely would not be able to have kids that if I did I would have to go through long treatments in order to do so. I have PCOS I would have sometimes two or three cycles a year and some other not so great symptoms Now when I was younger it didn't really hit me that this would affect my life. I always thought I'd be a mom has always wanted to be a mom and I just thought you know this doesn't matter. It'll still happen. When I was 18 I had a boyfriend but I was also a virgin. I didn't really know anything about anything per say He was older and definitely knew what he was doing. Being a virgin and growing up in a Mormon l conservative home. The only thing I'd been told about relationships in the bedroom was and I quote "it hurts" so I had no idea about condoms or anything like that. I had just moved out of the house so I was still trying to learn all this. Needless to say I ended up pregnant. I made it 9 weeks before I miscarried due to the stress of finding out my boyfriend was cheating on me and I was the side piece coming from a conservative Mormon home that was really stressful for me and also because my mom was very conservative and so was my family. I didn't really tell anyone. I just kind of dealt with it on my own and so after that I kind of fell off the deep end and I started drinking and partying about 4 years later when I was 23. I met someone new but this time I knew better. I was careful to always use contraceptives and I figured if they failed I most likely wouldn't get pregnant anyways because I was continuously being told by doctors that I probably wouldn't be able to have kids well I got pregnant again. I made it 11 weeks before I miscarried again this time however, I told my mom she was the only one I told and I've never told anyone since because she didn't believe me. she said even if that was true that the baby was better off and at least the baby would be perfect in heaven. after that I really went off The deep end I started drinking smoking partying some recreational drug use. Basically anything to numb the pain and this time I didn't even tell the boyfriend and he ended up moving Not long after that Anyways. I really went down a rabbit hole and if it weren't for my brother helping pull me out of it and getting me a job out of state away from all the people that I knew pretty much except for him. He had a job there too. I probably would have continued down that path but when I moved I stopped drinking. I stopped smoking. I stopped all the partying everything and really just kind of did some soul searching on what I wanted and who I wanted to be and what my life would be like I was 25 when I moved back and I was doing a lot better than. I got a job. I was saving up I got my new car and I'd moved in with my parents to help them with some issues they were having. My dad had cancer and my mom has had a slew of health problems so I have yet to move out since I basically helped take care of everything around the house and make sure everything's the way it needs to be When I was 29 I met another guy we dated for a couple months and I ended up pregnant now when I had moved a couple things had happened. I think the change in lifestyle and also the fact that it could have been a different city. It could have been the change in elevation. Whatever else, but I started having regular consistent cycles and I stopped having a lot of the issues that I've been having with my hormones. But I still thought that I would not be able to have a kid at that point though. But I found out when I was just over 4 weeks and because of my past miscarriages I went to the doctor as soon as I could to make sure everything was okay and he monitored me very closely. Now because of my fabulous doctor I was able to deliver a healthy baby girl and I love her more than life itself. But I seem to have a bad choice in men because her "father" wanted nothing to do with her and it broke my heart. I have tried my best to do whatever I can to make my daughter happy and healthy and have a great life but I have still yet to meet anyone that could be any sort of father figure for her. Now on to my cousin we have never gotten along for whatever reason, ever since I was young she would alienate me in any way she could. I never knew why. She's actually only a little bit older than I am by, like not even a full year and my other cousins that were right around my age. All kind of went with her and alienated me too. So I ended up playing a lot of the time with all the younger kids by which I'm talking about 4 to 5 years younger than me and when you're young. And you don't really know why you're being treated that way it can leave a lasting impression. I have never been close with her and I don't think I ever will be. I don't wish her any. Ill will but I don't like her either not long ago she found out she was pregnant and she's had fertility issues as well it ended her first marriage but not only did she find someone who loves her but also loves their baby and wants their baby and that created some jealousy in me. I'm not going to lie. I was very angry that she was still doing all the things that I had given up partying and such and she still was able to find someone. And on top of that have a baby now. A few days ago she went into pre-term labor. She is just over 25 weeks and they've been struggling to keep the baby inside for the last couple days. Tomorrow they're going to deliver the baby at 26 weeks now I hope every thing turns out well cause I wouldn't wish the pain of loosing a child on anyone but I can't help but feel a little angry because everyone in our family is coming out of the wood work to help her and comfort her and be there for her and they are showing her so much love and support. And her boyfriend is right there with her and is supporting her and I just feel so angry and hurt because I never had that support. I mean no one really knew about any of my miscarriages and the one person I trusted didn't even believe me. And my mom now is bending over backwards to try and be as helpful as she can and I think that's what makes me the maddest no I don't hate my cousin. I don't wish her any ill will. I hope that everything goes well with her baby and her boyfriend and that everything turns out great but I can't seem to make myself bend over backwards for her either and jump at every piece of information that is being given. In fact, I wish I didn't even hear it at all because every time I do it just digs that knife deeper and deeper and I don't know how to deal with it. All I know is I am so angry at my family so aita for being angry at my cousin?

Hello everyone pleaaaase help a girl out For reference: 27 Female and medium-fair skinned with combination skin
So l've been dealing with minor acne for the last few years after coming off the pill and last week my doctor prescribed me differin gel and my purge was/ is pretty quick luckily. However now I'm dealing with a lot of redness from the purged pimples/cysts.
I don't usually have many issues with PIE sticking around too long but right now it is killing me that every blemish l've had come to the surface in the last week is a red mark making my skin look waaaay worse. It's taken a beating on my self esteem.
Now I KNOW this will go away and I need to be patient. But I'm wanting to know if you guys have been through this and what you found useful.
I've always been on the ball with moisturising and using SPF daily. I also use niacidamide (the ordinary) in the morning before moisturiser and spf
Should l ice it? Try hydrocortisone cream? Sudocrem? Vasoline? Take antihistamines? Ibuprofen? (I don't have access to Azelaic acid so that's off the table)
What is everyone's hacks for this and how did you help speed up healing the redness left behind from your purges?

Funny how they talk about how shocking it was that the rangers had 1 high danger chance in a series clinching game at home and then question the fans for booing. It was a terrible effort, especially after last season when the same thing happened. Winning 7 in a row is fun and all but after blowing 2-0 leads the past season this team has to at least be trying to close out a series. To lose is one thing but to lose like that is entirely different. Also RA and Biz talking shit about “original 6 fans should be better” Toronto and Boston have had silent home games this post season and Boston fans were throwing shit on the ice after game 3 or 4 I can’t remember. Also they’re probably trolling so I’m the asshole but fuck it I’m bored.

I 17f have been working at a company for over 2 years. Recently I have been really busy and I have a lot of stuff going on in my life. From high school graduation to injuries to sickness, you name it, it happened this past month. Some context: I am on antidepressants that make my immune system a little bit weaker than normal so I’m more prone to sicknesses and the only reason I stay on it is because it works like a charm my grandmother who is my legal guardian has been extremely busy for the past year because we adopted two little girls, her step-grandchildren. one of whom had gotten sexually assaulted. So she’s busy with court and therapy and everything for them. I lived with my grandmother and grandfather since I was 2 months old, all the way up until June of last year. this has been extremely hard on me as I have nowhere to direct my anger. I don’t wanna sound like a stuck up little brat, but I’ve always been an only child. This happened out of nowhere, and we was also told that they would only be there for five months max, it’s been over two years. I cannot direct my anger at those little girls because I’m not that kind of person and it is NOT their fault that they got sexually assaulted, I also cannot direct my anger at my grandmother or grandfather bc They were just trying to do a good thing and help these girls. However, I no longer get to go out on Saturday girls dates with my grandmother and my my grandfather never gets to take me fishing anymore. They are old and they will not be here much longer, I would love to spend my time with them, but I can’t because they are so busy. They didn’t even come to my senior prom Pictures.. i’ve been struggling on where to put my anger. Which has left me tremendously depressed and always angry and anxious. So excuse me if I don’t wanna work my shift a day. because I have no motivation. I literally feel like I lost my family. They were like my mother and father and it’s almost like they are just gone. Out of nowhere. As I mentioned, I’m also a senior in high school so I’m dealing with things from class night,senior sunrise, class night practice, graduation practice, baccalaureate, graduation, prom, and my birthday is May 27 but we are doing me a combined graduation party and birthday party on the 25th. I’m a busy girl these days. My grandmother as I mentioned is always busy so I don’t direct my anger towards her at all and I don’t want to sound like I’m being mean but I told her in December 2023 that my Therapy Place had appointments for me, one of which was my one year therapy assessment, my one year medicine assessment, and a nursing assessment, all of my Therapy Place would not let me schedule as I’m not 18 yet. I don’t know if she simply just forgot or just didn’t care, however I have slowly been running out of medicine and I am now taking 25 mg of a medicine that I’m supposed to be taking 150 mg of. This is the same medicine that causes me to be sick occasionally. it really happens whenever I take one and then forget to take one the next day so this drastic change of 150mg to 25mg in the span of 2 months has not been ideal. It’s making me sick and angry and sad and crazy. All of this has also been causing a lot of issues in my relationship with my boyfriend 18m. We’re arguing all the time and it’s not helping anything. So I have a lot going on. And yes, I have been calling out a lot, however, everything with graduation I told my ex boss about a MONTH ago. This is not new information. Out of NOWHERE he scheduled me to work around 40 hours (my normal hours are about 15-20 a week as I’m working on school and applying to colleges and focused on graduation ) However, today he feels the need to call me and explain to me in passive aggressive words how I am making his and everyone else’s life harder and saying a few other things which all equaled up to “your a big inconvenience for everyone” This alone really hurt as my boss and I always got along ok. He knew what I was going through but assumed I was a liar despite me being a manager for 2 years now and still felt the need to call me and tell me how much of a problem I am. I was honestly going to let this slide and work my last shift and then tell him not to put me on the schedule anymore. But this is when I called my best friend for advice! Then she proceeds to tell me, my boss and another female coworker were stalking my social media accounts to see if I was really hurt. ( I had an ankle injury caused by tripping over my dress walking out of prom.) And I’m not going to lie to you. I really really really hurt my ankle. I was wearing a boot. I have been cooped up in the house for about a week and a half and I was sick and tired of it. My sister and her boyfriend and my boyfriend were all over and we decided we want to go to topgolf. I figured I had rested enough and I was really eager to get out of the house. I got all dressed up and was wearing my boot as we went into Topgolf! Only to find out that we had to be 21 or older to go past the certain time. We tried to get our older siblings to come, but they were busy! I had gotten all dressed up for the first time in a while and I wanted to take some Instagram pictures. That way it didn’t feel like I got dressed up for nothing. I took my boot off and slipped a regular shoe on as I didn’t want to wear a big ass boot in my instagram photos. The girls that get it get it! In all of these pictures, I either have my hurt foot up off of the ground or I am holding it up equal to my knee. Because as I said it really hurt. So I posted my pictures and all was fine. I also made a few tick-tock‘s. Well apparently both of these actions were illegal. As my boss and his suck up of a coworker felt the need to stalk my social media to see if I was lying I guess. You can check the images yourself on instagram at @molleigh_1 After I found this out, I texted my boss as follows:
Ok, I was gonna let the whole “ passive aggressively calling me an inconvenience” thing slide, however i just don’t understand why you and Alana feel the need to search up my social media accounts and see what I’m doing but if you must know my instagram pictures were taken while my boot was off because I didn’t want to wear a big boot in my pictures. My boot was still in the car. If you look closely in the pictures you can see that I am leaning my weight on my good foot and have my bad foot either up in the air or I am not fully stepping on it. I also didn’t know it was illegal to post videos of myself on tiktok when I’m sick, that’s New info to me. I also just talked to my best friend who did not know about my foot injury, just told her about it. You can come ask my entire family if you’d like. They have seen me walking around the house in a boot. It’s not fair to assume I’m a liar as you weren’t there. You can’t tell if I’m in pain from a picture or video. it’s weird that you guys are looking up my accounts. That’s honestly creepy. Now that my parents and I know this creepy, unsettling information I will not be working that last shift, (I’m not allowed) you all can go stalk other people! If you feel the need to reply or have anything to say, you can contact (My dads number) Have the day you deserve, and goodbye.
Here’s the reasoning behind why he’s a creep: - 40 yr old man who only hires teen girls. -Would always show up 5 mins after my shift started claiming he had work to do but then would sit in the office with me just to try and chat. - anytime he would arrive I would simply move my things out of the office and set out by the serving area to which he would say “ I didn’t kick you out you can come sit back here with me” - gave me sexual looks more than one time. - places security cameras in odd places such as facing the backs of his workers so he can look at their asses I’m guessing ( it’s not just one camera it’s all of them) - there’s been claims of him sexually assaulting his workers in the past (just found this out) from a previous coworker who was told this by someone who worked at a different location of the company -multiple workers have quit because they felt uncomfortable around him.
Am I the a hole? Did I do the right thing? Am I just being dramatic and overcomplicating this? Help!

Arbitrary first time poster, so I hope I'm doing this right.
I (26 female) have recently started therapy. With my therapist we began to go into my past and walking through what could of caused the personal problems I have going on now e.g fear of going outside, commitment issues and as strange as it feels to admit, I hate being away from my parents for too long. I still live at home currently, although I'm working on getting a better job to move out in the future.
Backstory:. While talking to my therapist, we got onto the topic of my dad (59 male). I am currently his full time career since he was diagnosed with cancer last year so I volunteered to take care of him while my mum worked. It was this latest health issue that sent my on a long story about my dad's history of accidents and health issues all of which the therapist told me they believed had traumatised me, while not extremely, but enough for me to fear the outside world enough to not want to be out or away from my parents too long. I'll list them the best I can remember.

1. When I was 10, my dad fell through scaffolding at his work place, which resulted in him breaking his leg and bottom of his spine.
   
2. When I was 12, my dad was in a car accident which broke his neck. He was luckily not paralysed but he had months of physio therapy still to help him be able to walk properly.
   
3. When I was 14 he had a stroke, with this brought along a myriad of other complications which was later diagnosed as Transient Global Amnesia. Which would cause him to forgot days if not weeks and still effects him to this day.
   
4. Skipping a few years. Now into adulthood but still youngish. When I was 22 I witnessed my dad have a heart attack and in the ambulance on the way to the hospital, which I didn't witness since I wasn't allowed to go (it was during Covid) he a second on which left him dead for 3 minutes before he was resuscitated.
   

5.One year ago, my dad was diagnosed with throat and neck Cancer. I would travel with him to his radio therapy appointments and I watched as he declined and was put on peg feeding since he couldn't eat orally. He is fortunately in remission now but still can't eat or drink anything except water and juice.
In a way it made sense as it was explained to me that although I was not the victim of each incident, I was still witness to the effects it had on my dad and was still effected myself since I grew up watching my dad get injured or ill in severe ways over and over again and due to witnessing it all, I have became anxious and afraid to go outside or get attached to someone incase they have something happen to them and the cycle starts again.
Now back to the main question. Last night I was talking to my parents and I brought up what me and my therapist spoke about. My dad got upset, even though I told him it wasn't his fault, it was what happened to him, that was at fault, he didn't ask for any of it to happen. My mum on the other hand got angry, saying I couldn't be traumatised since she wasn't and she also witnessed it. I now feel terrible at upsetting both my parents and want to know? Am I the asshole for telling them?.

After tonight's episode, it seems that again the consensus here is that Kenzie wins. I can 100% see it: she aligns with a lot of the themes in the season, she has a very carefully-crafted edit, very likeable with a lot of positivity, and we hear from her a lot even when we don't need to.
...but I think this subreddit as a whole is ready to christen her, perhaps because we want to see her win over milquetoast nerd narrator, when Charlie in no way should be eliminated right now. I guess I'll go against the grain and make the case for Charlie to keep things interesting:
1) Charlie these past few episodes has hit consistent strategic themes about having options, being adaptable, and ultimately playing to win. Last week, this looked a bit hypocritical as Q stayed and Venus went home. This week, we see Charlie honor these themes by taking out Q, betraying his ally Maria (who admittedly was also betraying him), and "playing to win." We got the big crescendo in the music at the reward after his letters from home. The other players left in the game have not really had the same consistency. Focusing on Kenzie specifically, a lot of her content has centered around wanting Q out. Now, this in of itself isn't a bad thing given that Q is basically the season's big bad, and in the bitter jury/social winner theory that's been circling around, this could explain why a jury would be more willing to vote for Kenzie over Charlie. But, this episode was basically presented as Charlie's move. It wasn't Kenzie and co. convincing Charlie to flip. It was Charlie himself building up social connections (tying back into his themes) and making a move when the time was right. It almost stands in stark contrast to last week's episode, when we see Kenzie and Venus try to flip Charlie and fail, versus this week when it's portrayed more as an individualistic move from him and not the result of Kenzie building a social bond.
2) Charlie's win conditions. Last week, he said he needs to get out Q/Maria. This week, he got out Q. I think most of us here agree that Maria won't be in the F3. If he gets out Maria (probably at 5), he satisfies the win condition he set out for himself. In a more meta sense, he also finally got a flashback package.
3) Charlie is a threat in-game. We got (subtitled) conversations this week about Charlie being super likable and beating everyone in the end. While this isn't the end-all-be-all, it's worth noting.
4) Kenzie as a runner-up. This subreddit has gotten on-board with a Kaoh Rong dynamic for this season, with Michele/Kenzie beating Aubry/Charlie. But I want to propose another theory: maybe Kenzie is built up to be a compelling and rootable runner-up because Charlie really did just play that strong of a strategic game. I mean objectively speaking, the man has completely steamrolled. The edit has downplayed the alliance of himself/Maria/Ben throughout the middle of the merge, instead choosing to focus on more entertaining characters, but we knew that they were in control. Charlie also got his moment this episode to one-up Maria, which plays into what the edit has suggested with Charlie always getting his way and being the center of that duo. But having Charlie march to the end and win wouldn't make for a compelling FTC in what would be the most obvious win of the New Era thus far. Kenzie is the last of her tribe standing; she's been called a threat by others who ultimately took her out. She's slipped through as Q foretold in his hide-and-seek prophecies. She's even tied into a lot of the major themes of the season. But none of these things are exclusive to winners. I think a key example here is Carolyn, who was edited as a super rootable character that was portrayed in the edit to be a lot closer to winning and a much bigger threat than she actually was. There are other things too, such as the unfortunate reality of female winners not usually having such big edits, and Kenzie (I believe) would be the first New Era winner, male or female, to actually lead in overall confessional time for the cast. She'd be an incredibly unique winner for the series in that regard.
All-in-all, I think this subreddit has jumped a lot onto the notion of Kenzie winning when I don't think it's the slam dunk yet that a lot of this subreddit thinks. After voting out Q this week, there isn't anything that is glaringly wrong with his edit. Sure, he's a bit boring and doesn't have a ton of personal content outside of, say, Taylor Swift, but maybe there just isn't much there? The New Era has also done a lot of editorial legwork to try and mask obvious winners in the past. 41 basically made up fiction about Erika to make her seem more in-danger than she was when in reality her alliance of herself/Deshawn/Heather ran the game. 44 propped up Carolyn to be a legitimate threat to Yam Yam when that wasn't the case. 45 chose to spend most of the merge focusing on the downfall of Belo and Emily's underdog arc and then only really circled back around to the Reba dynamics at the end. I can see the editors of 46 choosing to focus on the more wacky and compelling rest of the cast over a dull dominance of a Charlie + playing up Kenzie as a legitimate threat to win so the finale isn't a slog when Maria probably goes out 5th.
I'm personally probably split about 50/50 between Kenzie and Charlie. I do see the argument for a Kenzie social victory. But I also think that the Finale and FTC is going to have to do a lot of legwork on why Charlie loses given the edit has basically done nothing but show him playing a stellar strategic game; given the current meta of the show and how fans have reacted to "wtf?" winners as of late, I'd expect the editors to be a bit more explicit on why Charlie would lose to someone who admittedly didn't do as much strategically. But we will see.

** BOTH FRI 5/17 AND SAT 5/18 *\*
Motorcycle Safety Foundation Ride Day New Mexico Motorcycle Safety Program, 3401 Pan American Fwy Take Your First Ride: Ride a motorcycle in 30 min or less for free. MOTO Intro provides the motorcycle, helmet, gloves, and coaching. Free Riding Skills Test: Take the challenge of an advanced MSF course! SKILL Check participants, bring your motorcycle and gear! Please wear over-the-ankle footwear, long pants and long sleeves

• Fri: 2 - 4 PM Skills Check, 4 - 6 PM Moto Intro
• Sat: 2 - 4:30 PM Moto Intro, 4:30 - 6:30 PM Skills Check

Niños and Teeños: Flamenco para todos Carlisle Gymnasium (Elizabeth Waters Center for Dance), UNM, 301 Yale Blvd. NE National Institute of Flamenco presents Niños y Teeños Flamencos in FUTUROS FLAMENCOS. Come see the high-energy flamenco of the National Institute of Flamenco's Student Companies. Don't miss this special showcase by talented youth in our community! (tickets)

• Fri: 7 PM
• Sat: 4 PM

** Fri 5/17 *\*
Fri 4:30 PM Bike to Wherever Day Canteen Brewhouse, 2381 Aztec Rd. NE Learn about exciting bike routes in Albuquerque and grab some cool giveaways to kickstart your cycling adventures. Whether you’re a seasoned cyclist or just starting out, there’s something for EVERYONE at our pop-up table! We'll have Canteen will be volunteering at a table from 6:30-9am and then again at 4:30-6:30am. Receive $1 off your beer if you arrive on your bike
Fri 5 PM Pistachio Cream Ale Release Tractor Brewing, ALL locations We're bringing back this seasonal favorite for American Craft Beer Week! Inspired by pistachios produced right here in New Mexico this brew is as smooth as silk and as tasty and a fresh roasted pistachio. This is a very limited one off for us, so come and get you a pint or growler while supplies last
Fri 5 – 7 PM May Babies Birthday Celebration Rio Bravo Brewing, 1912 2nd St. NW Starting at 5pm, the first 25 people with May birthdays to show Ryan proof of their birthday month will score a $5 Rio Bravo Brewing Gift Card...oh, and Beers are on special for birthday kids for just $5! But you spend your gift card however you want! Thanks to Cake Fetish...we'll have cupcakes for the May Birthday Kids (while supplies last) We'll have prizes JUST for the May Babies! We'll also have drawings for all you non-birthday folks too If you want to get their before us...All drinks are $1 Off for May Birthdays the whole day!
Fri 5:45 – 7:15 PM 22 Veterans Suicide Awareness WOD BFit505, 11500 Menaul Blvd. NE Each month, Team Bravo & Bfit505 team up to bring awareness to veteran suicide. Before our events, we will take a moment and talk about the issue. Then we will begin with our 22 reps WOD followed by a 2.2 mile ruck/walk/run. Afterwards, we will be going out to eat for social time with friends and family. This event is for all levels
Fri 6 PM Sandia Social - May Hangout Dawn Patrol Coffee Shop, 3619 Copper Ave NE We will be hanging out around the patio and inside starting at 6pm! Bring your friends and come hang out!
Fri 6 PM Pink Therapy, A Latin Dance Fundraiser for Breast Cancer Sobremesa, 3421 Coors Blvd. NW On The One and Pachanga Productions' "Salsa Therapy" night has made its mark in the Latin Dance community, now we are using the symbolism of "Therapy" under "Pink Therapy" but this time it is to fundraise in partnership with the Pink Warrior House Foundation in order to provide outreach and increase resources for those warriors battling against breast cancer. On The One and Pachanga productions will be involved in community outreach and utilizing our resources to help those in need. Cover charge is a SUGGESTED $20 donation (ALL PROCEEDS GO TO Pink Warrior House Foundation). Cocktail hour from 6-7 PM (purchases go to PWH on selected drinks). Dance lesson from 7-8 PM. Open dance floor 8-12 AM. Be aware of Media/News coverage. We need everyone's assistance with this, PLEASE SHARE FAR AND WIDE, those warriors battling breast cancer need our help. Let's do our part. We are asking for the entire Latin dance community to come out and support. This will be one of many fundraisers that we do for organizations like PWH. Lets use our dance skills to help those in need!
Fri 6 – 8 PM May Flowers Stampin' Bingo (in person) Hip Stitch, 2320 Wisconsin St. NE Cost is $35 for 6 rounds of bingo, prizes, and make n' takes! Message for more info or to register
Fri 6 – 8:30 PM Los Domingueros Live El Vado, 2500 Central Ave SW Prepare for an unforgettable fusion of Latin dance beats and rock energy as Friday Night Live at El Vado proudly presents New Mexico's premier menudo-based band, Los Domingueros! Few bands can match the infectious joy and vibrant rhythms that they bring to the stage. A multi-talented group of musicians, they take listeners on a musical journey like no other. From the pulsating rhythms of salsa, bachata, and cumbia to the high-energy vibes of ska and reggae, sprinkled with a dash of punk and thrash, their eclectic repertoire promises an exhilarating experience for all. As always, treat your taste buds to a delightful selection of culinary delights from our diverse food pods. From savory stir-fries to tantalizing Latin flavors and heavenly desserts, there's something to satisfy every craving. And don't overlook the opportunity to quench your thirst with a crisp craft beer from Ponderosa Brewing Company, conveniently available at the El Vado Tap Room
Fri 6 – 10 PM Fork Cancer Gala FUSION ABQ, 700-708 1st St. NW The American Cancer Society is hosting Albuquerque's second #ForkCancerAbq fundraising event. VIP 6pm - 7pm. Gala 7pm - 10pm. Dress Code: Gala Attire. #ForkCancerNM is a foodie's dream, with local restaurants and bars bringing out their best to truly showcase the Taste of Albuquerque while raising money for the American Cancer Society's life-saving mission in New Mexico supporting Access to Care like patient transportation, patient lodging and 24/7 support. Along with life saving research and grants. With great opportunities to raise money, we will also have live entertainment! (tickets)
Fri 6:30 – 10 PM Community Movie Night South Valley Multipurpose Center, 2008 Larrazolo Rd. SW Feature of the night: In The Heights. Bring your dinner, blankets and chairs. Please no glass containers
Fri 7 PM Movie In The Park ABQ Food Park, 6901-B San Antonio Dr. NE ABQ Food Park is bringing back Movies In The Park, starting off the summer with a screening of The Sandlot. Arrive early to get your face painted by Local Locas Facepainting before settling in with your blankets, chairs, and appetite for a delightful evening at the park with loved ones. Indulge in delicious fare from our food trucks while enjoying this timeless film under the stars. Please do not bring outside food as we have a variety of food options at the park. Please support our local food vendors. Entry is free! Reserve your tickets
Fri 7 – 10 PM Emerald Ball Holiday Dance Studio, 5200 Eubank Blvd. NE, Ste D Celebrate the enchanting month of May by donning your finest emerald attire. Bring in the vibrant spring season by joining us in elegant semi-formal wear of rich verdant colors and dance the night away! A Foxtrot lesson will begin the evening at 7pm followed by open dancing. Call 505-508-4020 for more information. $30 non-members
Fri 8 PM – 2 AM Sucia EDC Gogo Takeover Sidewinders Bar and Grill, 4200 Central Ave SE Sucia Productions is bringing the Electric Sky to Sidewinders! No need to have EDC FOMO because Papa Sucia is ready to bring the party to you! Come join your Sucia Family for a Night of PLUR! Featuring the Sucia Gogos on multiple boxes and individual dances available in the Cabaret Room! Hosted by Papa Sucia and Sucia Gogo Madam Sativa Rico-Stratton. DJ Unzipped will be bringing the you the best EDM set for you to dance the night away!
Fri 9 PM – 1:30 AM Callaita Fridays Salt Yard West, 3700 Ellison Rd. NW DJ Soiree will be spinning under the stars in the Salt Yard, promising a night of electrifying Latin music. This 21+ event guarantees an atmosphere where you can fully embrace the rhythm without inhibition. Whether you're a die-hard fan of Reggaeton or simply seeking a night of unparalleled fun, "Callaita Fridays" is the place to be
Fri 10:30 PM – 12:15 AM FACELESS AFTER DARK - new meta horror starring Jenna Kanell of "Terrifier"! The Guild Cinema, 3405 Central Ave NE All Seats $8. Check out the trailer. Dir. Raymond Wood - 2023 - 82m. Following her breakout success as the star of a killer clown horror flick, Bowie (Jenna Kanell, TERRIFIER) now finds herself struggling to capitalize on its success. But when she is suddenly held hostage by an unhinged fan posing as that same killer clown, horror becomes her reality as she fights to survive the night and escape before he completes his sinister plan to recreate the film's fatal plot (tickets)
** Sat 5/18 *\*
Sat 8 – 10 AM Planting Corn Seeds Lynn Garden, 176 Manierre Rd., Corrales We will be planting corn seeds; a new crop for Seed2Need this year!
Sat 8 – 10 AM Run for Mercy 5K Sagebrush Community Church, 6440 Coors Blvd. NW Join our team to run with us to support Mercy Multiplied, which exists to provide opportunities for all to experience God's unconditional love, forgiveness, and life-transforming power. Mercy offers free-of-charge Residential and Outpatient Counseling Programs, as well as Outreach Services that include workshops and trainings, our Keys to Freedom discipleship study, and Keys to Freedom Retreat (register)
Sat 8 AM – 12 PM Downtown Growers' Market Robinson Park, 810 Copper Ave NW Every Saturday from 8 am - NOON! This vibrant community event connects local farmers, growers, artisans, wellness makers, and hot food vendors with the local community from mid-April to early-November. Bring friends / family or come solo to enjoy fresh food made on sight, a variety of seasonal produce, unique arts and crafts, live music, and special programming all in the heart of downtown
Sat 8 AM – 2 PM Rio Rancho's Biggest Yard Sale Cabezon Park and Community Center, 2307 Cabezon Blvd. SE, Rio Rancho FREE Admission! Clean out your garage, spare bedroom, attic and shed. Come join us to sell all of those items that were collecting dust, find a treasure that you didn’t know you needed, and enjoy a day in the park! Vendor space $35 for a 15’ x 15’ space (Tables and chairs are not provided) Must register online, NO Drop-Ins Accepted. Please call the Cabezon Community Center at 505-892-4499 for more info
Sat 9 AM Send Haley to Spain Sand Volleyball Tournament Charlie’s Sandbox, 4335 Paseo del Norte NE All proceeds go to Haley and her trip to Spain in July! $20/per player. All Skill levels! Prizes for 1st & 2nd place. 4-6 players Coed with 1 female on team. Check in @ 8:30am. More info: Jillian (505) 322-7228, Haley (505) 331-4788, Charlie (505) 239-2461
Sat 9 AM Invisible Heroes Run Believers Center of Albuquerque, 320 Waterfall Dr. SE Join Runfit and the American Society of Radiologic Technologists for the inaugural Invisible Heroes 5K Run/Walk. It is a community event being held to recognize the vital role that medical imaging professionals and radiation therapists play on the health care team and to introduce the public to these vital health care professionals. You are invited to run and walk to celebrate the important work done by invisible heroes. At packet pick-up, you will have an opportunity to tour the ASRT Museum and Archives. Age group, overall, and team awards, including a great t-shirt and finisher medals for all participants (register)
Sat 9 AM - 4 PM 16th Annual CTC Vintage Tractor & Car Show Corrales Recreation Center, 500 Jones Rd., Corrales Join us for a fun day in the Corrales Park. There will be music, food, hot rods, tractor, stationary engines and more. Proceeds Raised will benefit Corrales 4H and Historical Society. Free admission. $10 for show participants
Sat 10 AM – 12 PM Foraging for Fun(ds) Los Poblanos Open Space, 1800 Tierra Viva Pl. NW Join Rev. Ryan Tate on a foraging excursion! Rev. Tate, of the African American spiritual tradition and an IPL board member, wants to bring their loving knowledge of NM edibles and herbs to you. Discover the food right under your nose and how easy it is to enjoy! We’ll meet to explore and harvest native and edible plants. Enter the Open Space area from west bound Montano Boulevard. After foraging, we’ll gather to taste our harvest and other locally sourced treats. Sign up today to participate - space is limited. This is a fundraiser for our work for climate justice: Please give generously (Suggested minimum donation $10)
Sat 10 AM – 3 PM Homebrewer's Happy Hour Southwest Grape & Grain, 3401 Candelaria Blvd. NE Homebrewer's Happy Hour is the perfect chance for all homebrewers, wine makers, distillers, or anyone interested in learning, to connect with others, share a drink, and learn about a new subject each month! $1 off beers from 10am to 3pm. Presentation on monthly subject at 1pm with open forum to discuss after. Food truck on site for lunch! May 18th - Barley
Sat 10:30 – 11:30 AM Animal Tales with the ABQ BioPark Ernie Pyle Library, 900 Girard Blvd. SE Dive into the captivating world of animals with "Animal Tales" presented by the ABQ BioPark! Join us for a delightful reading session featuring an animal-themed book. Experience the magic as the BioPark brings along real animals and biofacts that connect to the story, giving kids an exciting opportunity to meet these creatures up close! Don't miss this engaging and educational adventure for young animal enthusiasts!
Sat 10:30 AM – 12:30 PM FolkMADS Third Saturday Family Dance Albuquerque Square Dance Center, 4915 Hawkins St. NE Dancing, song, and live music for kids of all ages. No experience needed to have fun! Children must be accompanied by an adult. Children dance free, Adults $10
Sat 11 AM – 1 PM Annual Summer Kick-Off Event! Matheson Park Elementary, 10809 Lexington Ave NE Join us as we kick off the summer with fun, a food truck, face painting, dunk tank, and more! Bring your family and your pets for a Blessing of the Pets. There is no cost to attend and all are welcome!
Sat 11 AM – 3 PM Wine + Art Afternoons Gruet Winery, 8400 Pan American East Fwy NE Prism Arts presents a new public art and social series with a special one-day multi-artist event. Join us inside the Gruet Winery with a selection of fine art, prints, paintings, jewelry, and ceramics from local artists Vanessa Alvarado, Eric Romero, Margarita Paz-Pedro, & Aaron Richardson. Enjoy unique art, amazing fine, food, and a social environment with the artists and the public. *All art purchases receive a complimentary bottle of Gruet Wine*
Sat 11 AM – 3 PM Bernalillo Family Fun Festival! Calvary Church, 4001 Osuna Rd. NE Get connected to community and enjoy a Fun Family Day!
Sat 11:30 AM – 4 PM Imaginary Friends Fest Flix Brewhouse, 3200 La Orilla Rd. NW Let your imagination run wild! Join us in the lobby to celebrate the opening of IF! Enjoy photo ops, freebies, an in-theater giveaway, and activities for the whole family. All ages are welcome!
Sat 12 PM BBQ n' Crawl Supper Rock Park, 598 Monte Alto Pl. NE Mini Crawlers 505 and Duke City RC are throwing a BBQ and crawl sesh! All rigs welcome! Please mark going if you are, so we can get enough food!
Sat 12 PM May Brew Tour - Farewell Tour Rio Bravo Brewing, 1912 2nd St. NW This is the last NM Brew Ha-Ha Beer tour for the season. The 24-25 season will start in June 2025 so stay tuned for the season lineup release. Rio Bravo Brewing, Ponderosa Brewing, Bow & Arrow Brewing, Juno Brewery. At Rio Bravo, a DD will be selected, then we’ll head to the other breweries in the order listed. T-shirts, if ordered will be delivered. For safety, a breathalyzer is available, a DD will be established and a liability waiver will be signed by all participants. Safety is of utmost importance. We want everyone to enjoy their tour and arrive home safely
Sat 12 PM Drag Bingo & Brunch! All Ages Welcome! Sidewinders Bar and Grill, 4200 Central Ave SE Join us for a Drag Queen Bingo and Brunch benefitting The Albuquerque Roadrunner Tournament 2024 (coming up in September). Hosted by Priscilla Bouvier. Doors 12pm. Show 1pm. Bingo, Prizes, Giveaways, Raffles, Cocktails, Mocktails and Fun!
Sat 12 PM Empire's 9th Anniversary - FREE PLAY ALL DAY Empire Board Game Library, 3503 Central Ave NE It's Empire's 9th Anniversary celebration and you're invited! We've been here 9 years and it's all thanks to the support we get from you, so to show our appreciation, this Saturday's celebration is our gift to you: Come in and play for free all day! Every game is on sale all weekend! We're holding raffles over the course of the day to give away some great games! So come on down and let us thank you!
Sat 12 – 3 PM STOODIS!: An AIDS/LifeCycle Fundraising Event Soo Bak Seoul Bowl, 111 Hermosa Dr. SE Help Vanessa Bowen cross the finish line – the fundraising finish line, that is! Vanessa is on a mission to raise $3,500 to participate in the 2024 AIDS/LifeCycle, a 545-mile charity bike ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles from June 2nd to 8th, 2024. Join this special fundraising event and send-off party for an afternoon of entertainment, vendors, bike tune-ups, raffle, and food and drink specials. Come prepared to support our local vendors and find out how you can win our selected giveaways. AIDS/LifeCycle benefits, and is jointly produced by, San Francisco AIDS Foundation (Tax ID # 94-2927405) and Los Angeles LGBT Center (Tax ID # 95-3567895), each of which is a nonprofit, public benefit corporation recognized as tax exempt under IRS Code Section 501(c)(3). Donations to AIDS/LifeCycle are deductible for income tax purposes, to the extent permitted by law. Vanessa Bowen (They/Them) is a Diné (Navajo) product designer and cyclist. Their work gravitates toward the intersection of design and social equity. Bowen is a former Outride Ambassador, current Chamois Butt’r and Kuat Racks Ambassador, founder of Get Native Kids on Bikes, and a supporter of AIDS/LifeCycle. If not creating in their studio in Albuquerque, they are training for a cycling event or community building for a just, equitable future (more info)
Sat 12 – 5 PM Day Camp - A Festival for Families Tin Can Alley, 6013 Signal Ave NE Day Camp is where adventure meets education, creativity, and community in a fair-like environment where a variety of youth development organizations are excited to share their programs. In partnership with Warehouse 505, and featuring organizations such as Explora, there will be workshops ands expos for kids to discover new passions across music, art, science, and more. Supporting Youth Security & Education, all dedicated funds raised will be going to New Mexico non-profit organizations
Sat 12 – 5 PM Monthly Pinball Tournament Sister, 407 Central Ave NW All skill levels and players welcome! 21+ Sign up starts at 12 pm; tournament play starts at 1 p.m. Entry fee is $5 + coin drop
Sat 1 – 5 PM United in Beer Collaboration Festival Ex Novo Brewing, 4895 Corrales Rd., Corrales United in Beer is a New Mexico statewide collaborative beer festival that benefits the Somos Unidos Foundation with 26 participating breweries, which were randomly partnered through a live draft and then together selected the beer style they would collaborate on. All beers will be showcased at the festival. Tickets are limited. Portions of ticket sales will donated to Somos Unidos Foundation, a 501(c)(3) dedicated to creating positive outcomes for New Mexicans through art, sport, community, and unity. This will be a 21+ Event. Food trucks will be on site. Included with ticket purchase is: Festival access, 8 drink tokens, and a United In Beer glass! We recommend bringing: Sunscreen, your friends, and good vibes
Sat 1 – 10 PM Boots In The Park Presents Thomas Rhett, Chris Young & Friends! Balloon Fiesta Park, 5000 Balloon Fiesta Pkwy Dust off your boots and get ready to holler, because Boots In The Park is making it's way to Albuquerque, y'all! Join us for a rootin', tootin', two-steppin' good time with none other than Thomas Rhett, Chris Young, Chris Janson, Kameron Marlowe, Dylan Schneider, Leaving Austin and beats by Luwiss Lux. We're talking about an evening filled to the brim with live tunes, finger-lickin' craft food, and the smoothest cocktails. We'll be kicking up dust with some good ol' line dancing and a whole heap more, as Balloon Fiesta Park is transformed into Albuquerque's best country music party! Past folks to grace the Boots In The Park stage are Carrie Underwood, Blake Shelton, Tim McGraw, Cody Johnson, Jon Pardi and a bunch of other country legends. But this day is gonna be one for the record books, a show that will leave y'all talking for years to come (tickets)
Sat 2 PM Annual Castro Concerto Competition Albuquerque Youth Symphony, 4407 Menaul Blvd. NE Join us to hear talented high school juniors compete for the privilege of performing with the Youth Symphony during the Albuquerque Youth Symphony Program's 2024-2025 concert season! This event is free and open to the public. We also plan to stream this event live on Facebook for anyone not able to attend in person
Sat 2 PM "Greatest Moments" - a fundraising concert for Opera On Tap New Mexico Central United Methodist Church, 201 University Blvd. NE Join us for an afternoon of music to help raise money for Opera on Tap - New Mexico! Featuring some faculty and students of University of New Mexico, along with other local professionals, we have put a program together highlighting some of the show-stopping, beautiful moments of opera and musical theater! Suggested donation $10
Sat 2 – 7 PM Rawking: An Afternoon Metal + Art + Comedy Extravaganza Juno, 1501 1st St. NW Featured performers include Light Thief, Destroy to Recreate, Guvtika, Abandoned Saviors. outdoors on the patio with Four Bands, Comedians, Artists, Vendors. Produced by Metal World Radio. 21+. $10 at the door or presales online
Sat 3 – 8 PM Albuquerque Roller Derby presents: Sandia Slammers vs. Bosque Bruisers! Expo New Mexico - Manuel Lujan Jr Exhibit Complex, 300 San Pedro Dr. NE Albuquerque Roller Derby has gotten SO big we’ve split into two teams! Sandia Slammers & Bosque Bruisers! Get your tickets for our first Home Game of the 2024 season
Sat 3:45 – 5:45 PM AND 7 - 9 PM The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 Flix Brewhouse, 3236 La Orilla Rd. NW Experience the Twilight saga's epic romance and thrilling fantasy BREAKING DAWN - PART 1 on the big screen! Bella and Edward, plus those they love, must deal with the chain of consequences brought on by a marriage, honeymoon, and the tumultuous birth of a child, which brings about unforeseen and shocking developments for Jacob Black (tickets)
Sat 4 – 8 PM Drink Local Downtown ABQ - May Step into the heart of Albuquerque with our thrilling, free monthly bar crawl event! Immerse yourself in the local charm as we celebrate community, culture, and creativity right in the heart of ABQ. In partnership with ABQCore Neighborhood Association, a locally organized and hosted event, we're bringing you a bar crawl experience like no other. This isn't just a crawl; it's a vibrant celebration of local businesses, a showcase of community talent, and a monthly escape into the unique flavors that make ABQ special
Sat 4 – 9 PM Summer Market ABQ Food Park, 6951 San Antonio Dr. NE Dive into the magic of summer evenings at ABQ Food Park with our captivating Summer Market! Join us for a delightful evening, where you can browse an enchanting array of offerings from local artisans and support our vibrant community businesses. Discover unique treasures crafted with love and passion by talented artisans, from handcrafted jewelry to exquisite home decor. Every purchase you make supports local creators and contributes to the thriving arts scene in our city
Sat 5 – 8 PM National Astronomy Day! Rainbow Park Observatory, 301 Southern Blvd SE, Rio Rancho The Rio Rancho Astronomical Society will host National Astronomy Day at Rainbow Park Observatory. There will be food for a donation, family activities and safe solar viewing. Dr. Tony Hull will appeal at 7 pm about his work on the James Webb Space Telescope. He will also have some info on light pollution
Sat 5 – 11 PM Beer & Jazz on the Hill Tractor Brewing, 122 Tulane Dr. SE We're bringing you a full night of brews and Jazz with the very talented Rona & Meli opening things up at 5pm and our house Jazz band Basilaris Trio closing things down at 8!
Sat 6 PM Bear Affair 4: Spanish Tapas Beer Pairing Dinner Boxing Bear Brewing, 8420 Firestone Ln. NE Join us on our patio for an ALMOST summer night paired with a variety of our seasonal beers, chef-crafted Spanish tapas, and flamenco. Featuring chef Christopher Midyette And the artist dance group Spanish Broom. Tickets are $65 per person and include a welcome beer, three course tapas style meal with beer pairings and entertainment for the evening
Sat 6 PM One Year Anniversary Celebration Urbanmama505 Kombucha, 1014 Central Ave SW, Ste A Celebrating one year of love, abundance, and sharing wellness. Right after Open Mic 4-6pm, we will be graced with a jazz concert by Davis Nelson-Hooker, an amazing local musician. Elixirs and small plates for purchase
Sat 6 – 9 PM Gone Country Saturdays with DJ Soiree Ponderosa Brewing, 1761 Bellamah Ave NW It's Gone Country Saturdays featuring the amazing DJ Soiree! Start your evening with free dance lessons at 5 pm, followed by family-friendly entertainment
Sat 7:30 – 9 PM Saturday Night Stand-Up Bosque Brewing Co - Nob Hill, 106 Girard Blvd. SE Live from ABQ, it’s… Saturday Night Stand-Up Hosted by Nax Davis! Every third Saturday of the month! Seating at 7:30 - Comedy at 8. Featured line-up of local comics includes: MEG FINN, BRYAN LAMBE, SARINA OCHOA, MARY BYRD, ROBERT EYSTER
Sat 8 PM – 1:15 AM Apparition Goth Night Historic El Rey Theater, 622 Central Ave SW A hauntingly dark, classic goth night featuring the Apparition team: DJ Ren, DJ Batboy, DJ Moonside. Doors at 8. $10 all night. 21+ Tickets at the door. Expect goth, darkwave, death rock, synthpop, dark post punk, ebm, dark dance, industrial, witch house, horror punk and more
Sat 8:30 PM – 1 AM SABOR Latin Night - SATURDAYS Bama's 1865, 6007 Osuna Rd. NE May 11th - SPECIAL GUEST DJ ITALIA! DJ Gabriel Goza & DJ Pedro will be serving you the saucy Salsa, Bachata, Cumbia, Merengue y Mas! Ample Parking, Safe Environment, Beautiful Venue, Good Food, Good Music, Good Vibes. 21+ / $10 cover
Sat 9 PM – 1 AM Cumbia + Rock en Espanol Juno, 1501 1st St. NW Grupo Super Verza with Ave. 69 and Lot Beat and DJ Tony. Baila! 21+, $15 at the door or online
** Sun 5/19 *\*
Sun 9 – 11 AM Elevated Roller Derby May Training Scrimmage Heights Community Center, 823 Buena Vista Dr. SE Officials' huddle 9:00AM. Captains' meeting at 9:20AM. First whistle 9:30AM. This is simply a black/white scrimmage. It will be used as an educational opportunity. NSO paperwork will be used as appropriate. You are encouraged to stretch your skills. Hospitality: This is a low/no production scrimmage, bring beverages and snacks for your own use. Bathrooms: The community center may not be open during the scrimmage. (That's the trade-off for a free space). You can stop at the nearby Starbucks before the event. Expectations: Skaters and Skating and Non-skating Officials are expected to follow all WFTDA Risk Management Guidelines. The venue is a designated alcohol, drug, and smoke-free space by the city of Albuquerque (sign up)
Sun 10 AM – 2 PM The Great Burque Bake On Rail Yards Market, 777 1st St. SW Get ready to whisk it all at the "Great Burque Bake-on," a special fundraiser for the non-profit Rail Yards Market: One dozen of Albuquerque's most talented bakers will dough head-to-head in a crusty competition for the ultimate bakery glory! Bakers brawl... You vote for the winners! This sugar-dusted showdown promises a blend of flour-fueled drama and buttery bravado, making it the yeast you can do to support your local confectionery champions. As these culinary wizards knead their way to the top, we guarantee you'll find their efforts both batter and sweeter than anything you've tasted before. Join us for a day of laughter, pastry, and a chance to see who rises as the crème de la crème of Burque's baking scene! 1) ORDER > Claim your Bake-on Box & exclusive market swag by ordering online May 10-16th, 2024. 2) LEARN > Follow our social media to learn about each contestant & their offering. 3) PICKUP > Grab your box of baked goodies & swag at the info booth Sunday May 19th. 4) ENJOY > Eat all the delectable goodies, savor the flavor, and read about all the contestants 5) VOTE >> Submit your votes online to choose the winners! (tickets) The Farmers' Market event is going down simultaneously with 175+ local vendors to explore, and is still FREE to enter and welcome to all. This funky fundraiser is going down during the FREE Rail Yards Farmers' Market. So you can peruse 150+ small businesses and enjoy the historic architecture while you enjoy your Great Burque Bake-on Box of goodies! All proceeds will benefit the Rail Yards Market. The Rail Yards market of Albuquerque is a certified 501(c)3 non-profit focused on building a resilient, sustainable, local economy where the surrounding historic communities thrive, all can participate, and everyone is enriched and inspired. Through food, art, education, and music, we invite the community together in an inclusive and festive atmosphere
Sun 11:30 AM The Addams Family Historic Lobo Theater, 3013 Central Ave NE THE HISTORIC LOBO THEATER is excited to bring The Addams Family to the big screen! Showing Starts at 11:30 am Tickets are ONLY $10 for General Admission $25 Brunch and a Movie Ticket $21 Brunch Only ticket
Sun 12:30 PM Annual Spring Tea Asbury UMC, 10000 Candelaria Rd. NE All are welcome to attend our Annual Spring Tea! This year's theme is "The Tapestries of Our Lives." Life can be like a tapestry; our quilt, with events, feelings, accomplishments, and even disappointments "stitched" in. Join us, for tea, while Cindy Kurey, AQS-certified quilted textiles appraiser, shares how quilting and her faith have helped her navigate life. She will also show her collection of antique, vintage, and modern quilts! There is no cost to attend, though RSVPs are required. Please call the church office 505-299-0643 or message us on Facebook to RSVP