Howdy Gophers!
Scanme is a experimental Go package for network scanning using the GoPacket library. I built this project to dig deeper into network scanning, it was much fun, despite being still a work in progress I'd appreciate contributions and feedback. Here an blog article that give an high level overview of code to help to reader out Presenting Scanme: Deep Dive into Network Scanning with Golang: Building a Port Scanner - I hope you enjoy the read as I enjoyed it building the port scanner :)

• Scanme Git Repo
• SYN Scan: Perform SYN scans to identify open ports on a target host (supports IPv4 and IPv6).
• Connect Scan: Perform a full TCP handshake on a target host (supports IPv4 and IPv6).
• ICMP Echo Request: Send ICMP Echo Requests to discover live hosts on the network.
• Banners Grabbing: An experimental feature so far on FTP, SSH, DNS, IRC, MYSQL, LDAPS, HTTP, HTTPS, NNTP, IMAP, POP.

2024/03/07 14:20:34 Port 21(ftp) open Banner: 220---------- Welcome to Pure-FTPd [privsep] [TLS] ---------- 2024/03/06 16:42:16 Port 22(ssh) open Banner: SSH-2.0-OpenSSH_7.4 2024/03/07 14:20:34 Port 25(smtp) open Banner: 220-********** ESMTP Exim 4.96.2 #2 Thu, 07 Mar 2024 14:20:34 +0100 2024/03/25 14:48:49 Port 53(domain) open Banner: dnsmasq-2.84rc2 2024/03/07 14:20:34 Port 80(http) open Banner: Apache 2024/03/12 14:50:39 Port 443(https) open Banner: Microsoft-IIS/10.0 2024/03/07 14:20:34 Port 110(pop3) open Banner: +OK Dovecot ready. 2024/03/07 14:20:34 Port 143(imap) open Banner: * OK [CAPABILITY IMAP4rev1 SASL-IR LOGIN-REFERRALS ID ENABLE IDLE NAMESPACE LITERAL+ STARTTLS AUTH=PLAIN AUTH=LOGIN] Dovecot ready. 2024/03/06 16:43:36 Port 3306(mysql) open Banner: 8.0.36 2024/03/07 14:15:59 Port 636(ldaps) open Banner: objectClass: [top vmwDseRoot]cn: [DSE Root]supportedLDAPVersion: [3]vmwPlatformServicesControllerVersion: [6.5.0]msDS-SiteName: [Default-First-Site]subSchemaSubEntry: [cn=aggregate,cn=schemacontext]defaultNamingContext: [dc=vsphere,dc=local]

General fav

• rapper: Prodigy
• album: Violent By Design
• beat: Chino XL - Our Time
• verse: Chino XL - Our Time
• group: Jedi Mind Tricks
• song: Jedi Mind Tricks - I Who Have Nothing
• decade: 90s
• year: 1996
• prod: Stoupe
• disstrack: Drop a Gem On Em
• beef: Ja - 50

Big threes

• Illmatic/IWW/Stillmatic:>! IWW > Illmatic > Stillmatic!<
• MATW/AEOM/7DT: 7DT > MATW > AEOM
• RD/BLUEPRINT/TBA: RD > BP > TBA
• Stankonia/Atliens/Aquemini: Aquemini > Stankonia > Atliens
• MMLP/SSLP/TES: SSLP > MMLP> TES
• The Infamous/Hell On Earth/Murda Muzik: Hell on earth > The Infamous > Murda Muzik
• Ironman/Supreme Clientele/Fishscale: SC> Ironman > FS
• Whuut The Album/DIAD/Muddy Waters: DIAD > WTA > MW

You believe is most influental

• rapper: Kool G Rap
• album: 36 Chambers
• group: Mobb Deep
• song: Shook ones
• year: 1995
• prod: RZA
• beef: Big-PAC

Various

• Big pun/big L: Big Pun
• fav Wu member:>! Ghost!<
• Jay vs Nas:>! Nas!<
• Big vs Pac: Big
• OB4CL/Liquid Swords/Ironman/RT63/Tical: OB4CL > Ironman > LS > RT36 > Tical
• east/west/south: east > west > south
• greatest storyteller: Ghost
• most consistent: Ghost
• most technical: Eminem
• greatest multi-rapper: Big Pun
• greatest flow:>! Biggie!<
• greatest delivery: Prodigy
• most versatile: Ghost
• most overrated (not trash-including + among hiphopheads, not generally): Nas
• most underrated: Canibus
• most overrated album (not trash-including + among hhh, not generally): Illmatic
• most underrated album: Canibus - Rip the Jacker
• most overrated disstrack: Ether
• most underrated disstrack: Long Kiss Goodnight
• most overrated prod (not trash-including + among hhh, not generally): Dre
• most underrated prod: Stoupe

General fav

• rapper: Prodigy
• album: Violent By Design
• beat: Chino XL - Our Time
• verse: Chino XL - Our Time
• group: Jedi Mind Tricks
• song: Jedi Mind Tricks - I Who Have Nothing
• decade: 90s
• year: 1996
• prod: Stoupe
• disstrack: Drop a Gem On Em
• beef: Ja-50

Big threes

• Illmatic/IWW/Stillmatic:>! IWW > Illmatic > Stillmatic!<
• MATW/AEOM/7DT: 7DT > MATW > AEOM
• RD/BLUEPRINT/TBA: RD > BP > TBA
• Stankonia/Atliens/Aquemini: Aquemini > Stankonia > Atliens
• MMLP/SSLP/TES: SSLP > MMLP> TES
• The Infamous/Hell On Earth/Murda Muzik: Hell on earth > The Infamous > Murda Muzik
• Ironman/Supreme Clientele/Fishscale: SC> Ironman > FS
• Whuut The Album/DIAD/Muddy Waters: DIAD > WTA > MW

You believe is most influental

• rapper: Kool G Rap
• album: 36 Chambers
• group: Mobb Deep
• song: Shook ones
• year: 1995
• prod: RZA
• beef:>! BIG-PAC!<

Various

• Big pun/big L: Big Pun
• fav Wu member:>! Ghost!<
• Jay vs Nas:>! Nas!<
• Big vs Pac: Big
• OB4CL/Liquid Swords/Ironman/RT63/Tical: OB4CL > Ironman > LS > RT36 > Tical
• east/west/south: east > west > south
• greatest storyteller: Ghost
• most consistent: Ghost
• most technical: Eminem
• greatest multi-rapper: Big Pun
• greatest flow:>! Biggie!<
• greatest delivery: Prodigy
• most versatile: Ghost
• most overrated (not trash-including + among hiphopheads, not generally): Nas
• most underrated: Canibus
• most overrated album (not trash-including + among hhh, not generally): Illmatic
• most underrated album: Canibus - Rip the Jacker
• most overrated disstrack: Ether
• most underrated disstrack: Long Kiss Goodnight
• most overrated prod (not trash-including + among hhh, not generally): Dre
• most underrated prod: Stoupe

Greetings! I just finished Subnautica about a week ago, wow, what an amazing game!! Then I immediately started BZ and I'm really enjoying it so far. I knew it wouldn't be the same and that's fine, I still really like it.
However, I have an issue and I'm trying to figure out if I missed something obvious somewhere.
I cannot find the Habitat Builder tool, and I'm going crazy. I have found a ton of blueprints which indicate that I SHOULD have it by now, big things like the Moonpool, Modification Station, the Scanner Room, and tons of furniture and other things but I have had absolutely no luck finding fragments for that particular tool.
I can't even build a Locker and I can't stand those floating storage boxes, so I'm constantly struggling to store items that I know I'm going to need.
So what do you guys think, without giving anything specific away...should I have PROBABLY found it by now, or is it something that is usually found after getting further in the game?

 I know the the subreddit is called humansarespaceorcs, and this story has no humans, or orcs, but I hope you guys like this one... The idea just came to me in a weird dream... 

We were not the first on this planet known as Earth, Humanity is, but... They're gone now. Wiped out from the entirety of the galaxy. Along with every living organism on the galaxy with Earth as its origin. The fauna and the flora, even the tiniest of microorganisms, wherever in the galaxy it is, if it came from Earth, it died. As if the Gods were playing a simulation game with Earth as its sandbox, and decided to hit the reset button to start a new game.
And that new game is us, our species. This 'new game' started out just as the same as how humanity came to existence. The Earth, now reverted back to the lifeless rock in space, spewed out a bunch of molecules from the bottom of the ocean through its hydrothermal vents. And for millions of years, the Gods watched those molecules coagulate to recreate life, a microorganism, then to a cell, multicellular organisms then began to emerge. The Earth undergoes its second Cambrian explosion. Soon, some of those aquatic animals evolve to leave the ocean and inhabit the land, and from there, a species will evolve enough and gain sentience. That is us, our people call our species the "Globians".
"That sounds like a name for a species of slimes." That's because it is. We are slimes.
You see, there's a bunch of differences during our evolution than that of the humans. The planet's climate is already stable for us, we didn't have an asteroid to trigger a mass extinction event. A bunch of new creatures that didn't appear in human evolution did for us such as predatory slimes where we came from, and most of their creatures didn't reappear on ours, including the primates where they evolved from. Except for crabs... Crabs were present on both branches of evolution...
Another big difference that we had over the humans, perhaps the greatest difference there is, is that we were able to discover what the humans have already discovered. Humans discovered that banging certain rocks together can create a spark that can light a fire; we discovered that the humans invented the matchstick.
We have what is left of human technology as our technological starting point. Sure, a couple of million years of re-evolution is enough to crumble even the greatest of human structures to dust. But to discover a layer of silicon rich band of sediment in a cliff face is enough to give us the hint that silicon is a huge part of human civilization. Soon enough, we have rediscovered silicon chips and electronics. A bunch of unnatural alloys were also discovered, greatly boosting our knowledge of structural engineering as we rediscover how to recreate them.
Now you might be wondering how we knew about humans to this extent after literally millions of years. The answer lies in space. Remember, humans have achieved becoming a multi stellar species, which means they have created and left behind friends amongst the stars. It seems that after all of humanity just perished in the blink of an eye, most of the galaxy had focused on the source, Earth. They have managed to compile everything they could about humanity, their past, their culture, history, politics, science and technology, their contribution into the galaxy as a whole. It seems like the humans are a friendly bunch and have managed to befriend most of the galaxy.
But because of humanity's sudden disappearance, fear also gripped the other species. They began to feel the insignificance of life for these Gods that they could just snuff out an entire species on a whim. They treated the former human controlled section of space as sacred grounds. The human core system, the Solar System, became a holy site where pilgrimage became a common occurrence so there's always a bunch of people around the system. So imagine the shock of the galaxy as they discovered new life to emerge on the barren Earth, humanity's epicenter.
A vast array of scanners, sensors, cameras, and telescopes were pointed all over Earth. Everything was recorded in the galactic records. From the moment of the first microorganism to the point where our species achieved sentience, everything, millions of years worth of records. Every species has their own theory on how their species came to be, or how life actually forms, but to witness one happening from the very beginning is enlightening. So they sent us a gift of gratitude, the very first time that our species learned of other beings amongst the stars.
It is a capsule sent from space. It contained a record of everything that I have told you so far. About humanity, about their disappearance, about the beings in space, about us and our origins. It also contained everything about human technology, their computers, robotics, artificial intelligence, the blueprints of human ships, and FTL methods. They told us that they will not be interfering with our own development and direction as a species, but giving us this much information and technology is just them returning what belongs to the humans, what belongs to Earth. This technology is probably still hundreds of thousands of years ahead of what we are currently capable of. But their last message gave our species a goal: "We will be waiting, come see us."
Currently our scientists were working very hard on adapting the human technology to ours towards our species first milestone. Launching the first Globian into orbit, the first slime in space...
That would be me.

⟳ apt.izzysoft.de from Sun, 12 May 2024 17:36:09 GMT updated on Mon, 13 May 2024 17:43:55 GMT contains 1124 apps.

Added (1)

• RoboSats: Simple and private app to exchange bitcoin for national currencies.

Updated (9)

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• Peristyle (version 145): Simple wallpaper manager app with auto wallpaper support.
• FairEmail (version 2181): FairEmail - Fully featured, open source, privacy oriented email app for Android
• Apollo (version 39): Apollo Music Player
• OSS Document Scanner (version 72): scan all your documents
• Termux Terminal Widget (version 3): Widget for Termux that displays output of a shell command
• CryptoTracker (version 101): 📈 Track cryptocurrency prices in real-time with CryptoTracker
• NewPass (version 12): Securely store and manage passwords of your digital realm with NewPass.
• Materialious (version 10): Modern material design for Invidious

^{2024-05-13T17:53:24Z}

"Great days and glorious victory! My name is Spifflemonk and welcome to my Letsplay! Today I am back from my medically mandated break from playing human videogames after a rather... cathartic experience with a game called Teardown. Subnautica, even among humans, is labeled as a notorious experience with... mixed reception for its sequel. A survival crafting game apparently. I have experience with those so presumably the gameplay loop should be predictable enough. So... Let's go in!"
Spiffle starts the game, going for standard Survival Mode, with aspects of food and water mechanics alongside health and oxygen. The game loads very, very fast with Spiffles overpowered computer, and the introduction sequence begins. The camera pans to the panicked sight of the payer character moving down a ladder followed by a sight of a starship above exploding.
"Oh dear... oh dear! They weren't kidding about survival! Do I even survive this or am I a ghost or something..."
The pod rattles, the screen shakes, a fire extinguisher falls from its mounting. Velocity causes the pod to dislodge a panel from a wall and it flies around the cabin. The panel flies into the player's screen, making it go black.
"Oh... well okay then. I uh... well."
Spiffles' character awakens and panics at the buttons securing him to the seat. Spiffle quickly figures out that fire in this game is in fact bad, and grabs the fire extinguisher, putting the fire out. The game's introduction plays, showing his PDA, the game's inventory UI.
"Oh! I have seen these things in real life when visiting human stations! Do all humans have these?"
Spiffle starts exploring the escape pod, noting all of the damage to the radio beacon and the wiring panel.
"Hmm... craft the repair tool... Well... For later I suppose. Now how do i-AH, the ladder!"
Spiffle clicks on the ladder and goes through the animation. The character exits and dramatically stands. Spiffle looks around. His face visibly pales as he looks in every direction, finding the only thing nearby that looks 'safe’ or like 'land' is the destroyed ship in the distance.
"Water... it's... water... everywhere! How big is this game's map!? Structural hull failure... zero human lifesigns detected. That's.. not nice. Well... Here we go!"
Spiffle jumps into the water. His mood changes, the underwater environment significantly different than above ground. The water is absolutely teeming with life and color, as Spiff swims towards a reef to stare at some coral. Spiff gets distracted and starts chasing a fish, specifically a Peeper, and grabs it.
"Oh! Good god! THAT'S how humans catch fish!? That's very... inefficient! What is this thing? Can I eat it? I know I'm supposed to take care of my food and water, so how do I eat it?"
Spiffle wanders about for a while, gathering resources and exploring his general location, eventually getting back to the pod. He had gathered up a decent amount of stuff while he was swimming around and accessed the Fabricator to see what was available.
"Ah! I see, the fabricator cooks things too. Uhm... cooked fish thing and... these transparent fish give me water bottles? Okay then! Well. Sorted for food anyway. Let's see. Copper wire, batteries. A Scanner? Does that mean I can like, scan things and tell what they are? And... Oxygen tank? Oh hell yes. I'll build that then."
Spiffle goes through the process of building a few things, checking out how the game's crafting system works, and spending more time collecting resources. He quickly realizes how much work he has to do and finally finishes making a Scanner.
"Okay then well... I can see how much time is going to be spent collecting resources so i'm going to edit all of that out and keep you all in the loop on all the fun parts instead."
Spiffle continues playing, inserting a creative, albeit mildly annoying fanciful scene transition in between resource loops. He comes to a cave looking for salt to make more equipment, when he encounters the first hostile enemy of the game: The Crashfish. He does not notice it at first, the strange sloppy noise it makes as its pod opens, the beast makes a terrible gurgly noise and charges straight at him.
"What is that noi-AH! OY! OI! OIIII what are you what are-!"
Spiffle is cut off as the fish explodes, causing him to lose half his health. He quickly surfaces and takes a breath.
"Okay then... OKAY... THAT... makes absolutely no sense from an evolutionary perspective... but okay then. Avoid those. What even was that? I can't even scan it because it was moving so fast! Gods... exploding fish."
Spiffle shakes his head and resumes his hunt for resources, eventually finding enough for a repair tool. He makes the repair of the pods' broken wiring and looks around a bit more, noting some of the details in the game.
"Hard to believe these games are over eight hundred years old! I keep getting requests to play 'them gud ol' gamez' instead of any new releases. Maybe I'll get to those eventually. I have quite the backlog though."
Spiffle quickly tabs out and shows the huge list of human made games on his list that he has been gifted or purchased himself. The list includes Space Marine, Starship Troopers, Spyro Trilogy, Crash Bandicoot, and so... so many more.
"I am also told about this thing called 'anime', whatever that is. Maybe I should look into that. Anyway..."
Spiffle shrugs for now and resumes playing, swimming around for a bit before finally deciding to use his scanner. He gets the first scan - the Acid Mushroom - and painstakingly reads the supplied article. He then goes on a scanning frenzy, scanning each thing he can find, comically chasing after various fish and objects, trying to scan them then taking an irritatingly long time to read the article aloud.
He gets to the point where he encounters his first real hostile enemy and tries to scan it. The stalker, of course, doesn't appreciate that, and attacks.
"Oooh what's this thing? Oh lovely, it's a big one. Can I scan it? The... Stalker? Oh okay is it friend-OW! NONONONO go away!"
Spiffle panics and scans it while running away from it, trying to swim backwards. He's so focused on scanning it he can't run far enough away that he gets ambushed by another Stalker nearby and manages to scan it just as he gets hit with his first Death in the game.
"Oh.... o...kay. Well... it seems things aren't as friendly as expected. I'm going to guess there's more things like that around. So... I'm just going to finish working on repairs and equipment then I'll take those things on."
Spiffle reads the article on the Stalker he scanned and spends more time collecting resources, scanning local entities and building the rest of the gear he has. Fins, high capacity O2 tank, rebreather and some more food and water which he stores in floating containers for later. He starts to explore a bit farther in search of fragments to scan and finds a Sand Shark, as well as a biome resembling a desert-like area. He encounters his first piece of the wrecked ship here.
"Oh! Hello! Pieces of wreckage! What are these for now do you suppose? Can I disassemble these for resources or-Oh! Is that a door? Oh! I'm supposed to go in here and look for things? How do I get in? Oh I can't. I need a laser cutter. Is one of those here? Need more fragments I guess..."
Spiffle gives up trying to enter and goes up for air, then returns to the floor to hunt for fragments. He eventually unlocks the Bioreactor, pieces of the Scanner room, a couple fragments of the Seaglide and Seamoth. He comes across the first cave entrance to the Mushroom Caves Biome.
"Oh... oh my. That's... deep. Good thing I unlocked the Seamoth thing. Its a miniature submarine I think. I can use that. But that's... kinda scary. I can't see the bottom. I kinda see just... purple. Mostly purple. But it scares me that I can't see the bottom."
Spiffle hangs around the cave entrance for a bit before a call for Oxygen forces him to the surface. He swims back down to the cave entrance and then hangs around a bit longer before once again resurfacing, heading for some new things to scan. It is however at this point that Spiffles exploration is cut short.
"EMERGENCY - SEISMIC READINGS SUGGEST A QUANTUM DETONATION HAS OCCURRED IN THE AURORA'S DRIVE CORE. THE CENTRAL DARK MATTER REACTOR WILL REACH A SUPERCRITICAL STATE IN -"
The computer aboard the PDA shakes Spiff out of his daze and he quickly rushes to the surface and looks at the ship.
"Wait wait wait what's that!? What's going on!? I see the ship? The Aurora! That's what its name is? Whats a Dark Matter reactor and wha-"
The computer continues its countdown muffled by Spiffs panicked squealing and he has a front-row seat to one of the most spectacular explosions in the history of gaming - the Aurora's Reactor Detonation.
It happens. The world goes dead silent for a short moment, and one can see Spiffles heart visibly stop beating. Then explosion as the Aurora lets out its magnificent blast. As the shockwave expands outwards, Spiffs skin visibly turns a paler shade of blue, and his eyes go wide. The sound of a geiger counter follows, leaving him breathless and pale as the world suddenly goes dead quiet again. The sound of the geiger counter ominously leaving him shaken even more than he already is.
"FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE - THE RADIATION SUIT HAS BEEN ADDED TO YOUR BLUEPRINTS."
Spiffle stays completely silent, bobbing in the water for a solid few minutes, staring in shocked wonder at what he just witnessed. He regains his composure for a few short moments and returns to his scanning venture, but one can easily see he isn't in the right mind after that. He returns to the seabed, at the entrance to the mushroom caves and dives again. He does this several more times, popping up to the surface, looking at the shipwreck, then diving at the entrance again. Finally, after much hesitation, he dives one last time.
"Screw it. it's just a game right?"
He smiles at the camera with a shrug and swims far below the surface, into one of the caves. As he enters the cavern his jaw drops at the sight of a massive underwater cavern filled with gigantic glowing pink mushrooms. The Mushroom caves as they are known. He spots something in the distance, entranced, forgetting his oxygen situation. He cant get far however and a terrifying shriek of some unknown entity shakes him out of his stupor.
"What in the red dawn was that noise!?"
Spiff can't finish asking his invisible audience what's going on as he strays too close to a mushroom, occupied by a Crab Snake, a gigantic sea worm. He is grabbed from behind, spun around and he visibly panics as the giant worm digs its enormous tusks into Spiffles character. Spiffle immediately freaks out, a combination of both the terrifying shriek emitted by the creature and the shock of being attacked makes poor Spiffle jump out of his seat and duck under the table.
"GOWAYGOWAYGOWAGOWAYGOWAY!!!"
The worm comes back and finishes Spiff off before his oxygen runs out. Spiff's character respawns but the footage continues, a slight whimper can be heard in the background as Spiff hides under the desk. This carries on for a few minutes, and his head very slowly appears above the desk. He gingerly puts himself back in his seat and breathes heavily for a bit. When he finally gains control, he tabs out of the game and takes a look at the wiki for Subnautica. He returns a few moments later and stares at the camera in that strange haunting glare he's become so famous for.
"WHY DO YOU STUPID DEVELOPERS NOT PUT GUNS IN THE GAME IF YOU HAVE SHIT LIKE THAT!? ARE YOU INSANE!?"
He grabs the camera and shakes it violently as he rants at it, questioning why there are guns in every other human game he has played and not THIS specific game, especially considering how there are 'giant water snake monsters that eat your face' in a game with no guns. He rants for a good minute or two then plays his outro.
TOP COMMENT: "Are you absolutely sure after Teardown, Factorio and Project ZOMBOID, you should be playing Subnautica? I mean seriously, try something less... psychologically terrifying. It's known as Thalassophobia Simulator for a reason."
_______________________________________________________________
"Great days and glorious victory! My name is Spifflemonk and I still don't understand why we have giant worm monsters but we have no guns!"
Spiffle stares at the camera with an expression that can only be summarized as 'Seriously bruh?' and resumes his last playthrough. He becomes confused at the lack of stuff in his inventory.
"Why is my... Why do I not ha-Oh right... I was eaten. When you die your inventory is wiped... I need to build more tools then."
Spiffle starts some silly music, an alien version of Benny Hill to a montage of him collecting resources, occasionally ranting at various oddities and questioning game logic. He restores all of his tools then goes hunting for a Vehicle Bay fragment so he can build the Seamoth. He continues to scan what he can, developing something of an obsession with the task, then painstakingly reading every word about it to try and understand it. It is at this point Spiffle, during his explorations finds another derelict chunk of ship near the desert region, encountering his first Sand Shark.
"What... What is this? Oh... careful Spiff. This one looks angrier than the last one you found. Wh-What in oblivion!?"
Spiffles attention is once again diverted by the appearance of a Reefback Leviathan and its signature low drone. This one appears to be a fully grown adult.
"You-you... You've got to be... You gotta be fucking kidding me. A Juhara Eelfish!? WHAT IS THAT DOING IN A HUMAN VIDEOGAME!!!??"
Spiffle squeaks in shock as he sees a creature that is an absolute spitting image of a large oceanic dwelling sea creature, which is both the games and his native homeworlds version of a Whale. The Reefback has some dissimilarities, but its close enough to the real thing that Spiffle is genuinely shocked. He quickly pauses the game, opening various wikipedia articles, then displays a full picture of both Subnautica in game Reefback, and the Juhara-Kal-Rehar, colloquially known as a Juhara Eelfish, a shockingly similar creature that lives in his homeworlds oceans.
The only difference between them is the color of the exterior chitin shell. The Reefback has a blue/purple shell, the Juhara Eelfish's chitin has a red/green shell.
"WHEN was this game made!?"
Spiff checks, the current Earth-date is the year 2886. Humanity only entered the galactic community in 2752. Subnautica was released in 2018.
"HOW.... How is that even possible!? You didn't even know the galaxy existed until only a few decades ago, yet you almost PERFECTLY matched the appearance of one of our homeworlds native species! How is this even possible!? Okay. If the name matches then I have to call bullshit."
Spiffle approaches and scans it, then reads the data article.
"A... Reefback Leviathan? Oh thank God... Now let's see... A herbivorous creature that... that likely got so large due to the fact that its predators went extinct. Well... that's... okay... A hard chitinous shell of multiple layers, a microcosm of different creatures and flora growing from its back, hence the name. Hmmm..."
Spiffle gets that cold, empty stare on his face and glares menacingly at the camera. The screen goes black, then returns, seeing Spiffle nursing a beverage of some kind while wrapped in a blanket.
"I realized something... Call it a message from the Ancestors or a Divine revelation. But I have a funny feeling this isn't going to be the last time I see a creature from the galaxy represented in human media. I hope to the Gods that doesn't happen... the concept of this situation is nothing short of terrifying. In any case, I'm sorry about that. Lets.... let's continue."
Spiffle resumes where he left off, doing his usual routine of scanning, then obsessively reading. Eventually he unlocks the Vehicle Bay, and returns home to his pod where the situation with resources is growing obscene with at least fifty floating resource containers hovering around the area.
"Alright... A Vehicle Bay... This means I can build things like the Seamoth now. This will be nice. Right, I shall for the sake of my audience skip the resource collection mechanic that's here and focus on the actual result. I shan't waste my time either though. MONTAGE!"
Spiff yells excitedly and a montage to that same odd Benny Hill type music plays out, with him collecting the resources he needs to build both machines. Most of it is already in the floating containers strewn about. With a few visits to the fabricator, he compiles the Power Cell, Titanium Ingot and Lubricant he needs to make the Vehicle Bay. He deploys it and chases it to the surface just away from the pod in the deeper end of the shallows.
"Right... Not too hard. Let's see then, how do-Ah. Get on it and... The Seamoth. Cost of two glass, one titanium ingot, a powercell, lead and lubricant. Right."
He quickly gathers and makes everything he needs for the Seamoth, then stands on the platform ready to go. He chooses the Seamoths recipe and the sequence starts. His eyes light up as drones start flying around the platform, then begin assembling atom by atom, the small, adorable minisub known as the Seamoth. It finishes the process and flops into the water with a splash.
"My gods look at this thing! It's so cute!"
Spiffle explores the sub for a little while and hops inside it, testing the controls and playing around with it a bit to see what it can do.
"Hm... Maximum Depth, 200 meters? So if I go below that does it implode or something? I need to be careful of that. OH dammit I remember! I have to make that Radiation Suit don't I? I shall do so now!"
Spiffle seems to have found a new resolve, quickly gathering resources together and making both a Seaglide and radiation suit in short order.
"Does this thing have any weapons? How do I repair-Oh... Repair tool? That makes it easier I suppose. Now... Where do I go now? Is there anything I can do?"
Spiffle stumbles about in the blind for a few minutes, trying to figure out his next course of action beyond simply wandering aimlessly while scanning things. He gets back in the pod and fixes the radio beacon. His face visibly contorts into an expression of irritation when he hears his rescue is in 9999 hours. He resolves to come back every now and then to check the radio. He decides to gather more resources to make up for building the seamoth and comes back a bit later. He finds a radio transmission when he returns.
"RADIO: ▀▖┗▛Nine new biological subjects designated. Mode ▄▖▜▚┣: hunting/analyzing.
Sharing subject locations with other agents."
"What... in the Nine Hells was THAT!? Why was it in such an odd voice? What was that language? What were those letters!? Somethings going on here... SO now what? I have the radiation suit. i guess... go into the Aurora? Oh no, I'm not going in there unprepared! Lemme make some tools and spare batteries, then i'll go in. I need... Oh... I need more fragments is what I need."
Spiffle resumes his fragment hunt, looking around for fragments of various tools. He uses the Seamoth to traverse around.
"WHEEE!!!"
Spiff seems more than just a bit happy as he trundles around in the Seamoth, using his speed to launch himself out of the water. He splashes about a bit, testing the limits of the craft and trying to see what holes he can squeeze himself into or out of and how deep he can go.
"Okay okay. time to get to serious work. Now... I need to find... A Laser Cutter and a... STASIS RIFLE?! Wait... rifle? That means GUN! I NEED A GUN!!"
Spiffle charges forward towards the desert biome where he found the Reefback and resumes his search for things to scan. It is now he comes across a Reginald.
"What... IS this fish? Wait, let me just..."
He gets out of the Seamoth and scans it.
"Huh... Reginald. That's a... fish? It's so cute! Wait, come back friend!"
Spiffle spends an unreasonable amount of time trying to catch a Reginald. When he finally catches one he gets back in the Seamoth and heads towards the aurora, new friend in tow. He trundles over to the side of the crashed ship and scans some random stuff here and there, finding fragments to a few small items, including a few he needs such as a Powercell Charger for the Seamoth’s battery. He gets close to the front of the ship and the haunting, evil noise of Subnautica's most iconic killer suddenly echoes through the gloomy water.
"What... Was that? Is it another worm thing? Please don't let it be one of those..."
Spiffle wanders around the side for a bit longer. An ominous shadow looms in the background, catching his eye. He ignores it for the moment and simply carries on, eventually arriving at the entrance to the ship. Through the mangled steel and fire he squeezes into the front of the ship and looks around. The environment ominously rattles and his screen shakes as the ships structure isn't exactly stable. The howl of the creature in the shadows makes Spiff even more uncomfortable.
"I... Do NOT like this. I really dont."
Spiff parks the Seamoth where he can see a ramp leading up, and gets out. He is immediately accosted by Cave Crawlers and uses his knife to defend himself, poorly, but he gets rid of the three or four around him.
"WARNING: SCANS SHOW THE DIGESTIVE TRACTS OF INDIGENOUS LIFE FORMS CONTAIN HUMAN TISSUE."
Spiffs face turns an even paler shade of blue and he swallows visibly as if he's trying not to vomit.
"Yeuch... I can scan this thing and read it later. I don't want to be here any longer than I have to."
Spiff scans and follows the path to the interior, uses his fire extinguisher to put out some fires in the area and gets inside. The ship rumbles as he wanders around and gets into one of the rooms. He finds the poster of the P.R.A.W.N. Suit.
"Ooh! A poster thing? Can I take it or? I can! PRAWN Suit eh? Can I actually use that thing?"
Spiff takes the poster, scans some furniture and collects a PDA. Spiff continues down the corridor and retrieves his Propulsion Cannon from his inventory and uses it to pick up some furniture in the way.
"I am SO glad I got this thing from scanning the area before I came here. This is super useful! I wonder if it has other uses..."
He gets to the door and looks at his databank.
"Hmm... Here it is! Code for the door is 1454. Right."
Spiff moves through, repairing a door to get the Seamoth Depth Upgrade Module. He continues and clears a fire to enter the main reactor. His inner loot goblin shines through and grabs the Cyclops engine efficiency module before he starts work on repairs, scanning the breach and starting work. It doesn't take him long, but he gets issues with a Bleeder that lives in the waters. He scans one then finishes repairs. Foolishly, he uses the propulsion cannon and shoots the bleeder at one of the reactors, undoing his work. He looks at the damage he caused and repairs it.
"Well... what was I expecting... Why did I do that? It's a CANNON... why did I aim it at the reactor exactly? So stupid..."
Spiff finishes and heads to the PRAWN Bay, and looks around at the damage. He spots the prawn suits and starts scanning, grabbing a storage module upgrade from a console and starts extinguishing flames so he can scan. He runs out of fire extinguisher juice though.
"Blast! Can I still scan these if they're on fire?"
Spiff walks around, finding cheeky angles he can use and scans the debris, finding all four fragments he needs. He heads upstairs and goes through the rooms and everything he can find. He gets into the Galley and sees the Kitty in a Space Helmet Poster.
"What the- 'Keep Calm'? What in the blue balls is this? It's.... cute! What is this creature!? Can I keep this? I can!"
Spiffle excitedly grabs the poster and moves on. He goes through cabins, picks up PDAs and collects the Natural Selection 2 poster, the Prawn suit in the sea poster and the collectible arcade toy in the locked cabin. Lacking the code to the Captain's cabin, he returns to the prawn bay and tries swimming around, eventually finding a passage in the hull debris to the rest of the ship. He moves through in silence, recovers the black box data and exits the ship. He removes debris, grabs the local wildlife with the cannon and tosses them into fires or the water with glee.
"BEGONE BEAST!!! Ha! Right... uhh... where did i park? Oh, there it is. Should I go home? I wonder if there are any fragments I can use around here?"
Spiff exits, finding Liefpod 4 floating upside down on the surface of the water. He collects the PDA data and a new blueprint. Then, as he gets in the seamoth, the horrifying roar of the Reaper Leviathan suddenly sounds. Spiff is thrown into a panic, screams in terror and tries desperately to get away. The beast appears with jaw chomping and claws clawing at the poor Seamoth. The entire time Spiffle is screeching like a bird with a broken leg, his entire body now an almost ghostly white out of absolute terror.
"GOWAYGOWAYGOWAYGOWAYGODNONNONOGOWAYGOWAY!!!"
Spiffle manages to get out of its grip and in a panic charges away towards his lifepod and continues to scream, breathing hard between screams. He gets to the pod and then hides under his desk, continuing to scream. His channel outro plays.
TOP COMMENT: (This has been translated from Eridani) "I am starting to believe this whole sojourn was a very BAD idea. Do you humans have those kinds of beasts on your homeworld? How did you ever survive them?!"
RESPONSE: LOL no we never had Reapers. The only Leviathan Class creatures we have on our planet are Whales. And they're mostly peaceful plankton eaters. Mostly.
RESPONSE: (Translated from Eridani) "Seriously? I think I find it more terrifying that these creatures are made up in your minds. What kind of nightmares do you people have to be able to create this level of fiction!?"
RESPONSE: Do. Not. Ask. This is only Subnautica - we have FAR worse.
Spiffles response: "You're going to make me play these 'far worse', aren't you?"
RESPONSE: "Damn right we are! :)"
________________________________________________________
"Great days and glorious victory! My name is Spifflemnonk and welcome back to Subnautica!"
Spiffle looks visibly stronger, his usual lanky appearance now looking like he's been working out like a Gym Bro. One can see muscles on muscles and Spiff seems to have an abnormal amount of energy.
"I am now relaxed. It is now time to get eaten by giant scary sea monsters. And yes, before you ask, I have successfully finished fully soundproofing my office. And also yes, I am indeed expecting a new addition to the brood... THANKS DAMN HUMANS! You and your damn musical magic nonsense..."
Spiffle starts the game and is swimming outside the pod next to the Seamoth. The first thing he does is repair the seamoth from the damage incurred by the Reaper, and recounts what hes been up to, checking inventory and equipment. He heads to the radio and gets a new transmission.
RADIO - "This is Avery Quinn of trading ship Sunbeam. Aurora, do you read? Over.'
'Nothing but vacuum. These Alterra ships. They run low on engine grease, they send an SOS; you offer to help, they don't pick up.'
'Aurora, we're out on the far side of the system, it's going to take more than a week to reach your position, do you still need our assistance? Over.'
'I'll try them again tomorrow. Damn charter's going to have us wasting our profit margin running errands for Alterra.'
'See what the long-range scanner picks up in the meantime."
"Oh? Oh lovely! There ARE people in this game! I wonder when they will be here? Meh, I have things to build, so I'll keep an eye."
Spiffle resolves himself to start building a base, trying to find a good spot. He finds the Mushroom Forest Biome and starts gathering resources to ferry them around. He installs the Depth Module and the Storage module to the Seamoth, then builds the Moon Pool. The Mushroom Biome becomes one of his favorite spots and a close encounter with a JellyRay cements it.
"Those creatures are beautiful! Look! JellyRay! Its glowing blue and pretty! I love that! Oh... I have a new radio message. I need to listen to that then."
Spiff returns to the pod and listens to the message.
RADIO - "Aurora, this is Sunbeam again. We just picked up a massive debris field at your location.'
'I didn't know how bad... How many of you... I didn't know.'
'We are now en route to your location. We're going to bring you home. Sunbeam out.'
'What else can I say? The only time I parked a rig this big on a rock that small was in VR, and I blew it'
'Oh, it's a bad option alright, but so are all the others."
Spiff smiles and carries on working, parking the Seamoth inside after powering everything up.
"So lovely! But... Is that a win condition? I know human games by now I have played enough of them. Is that a win condition? Get rescued? I dunno..."
Spiffle carries on building for a little and gets a storage system up, spending a few in-game days transporting resources to his new base. He returned to the pod and played a new radio message, again from the Sunbeam.
RADIO - "This is Sunbeam. Y'know, Aurora, we're from a little trans-gov on the far side of Andromeda, and we have a saying there.'
'There's no bad without the good, no good without the bad.'
'Sounds like you tasted a bunch of the former, but that only means you're overdue a whole lot of the latter.'
'Might just be we're it.'
'We're scanning for somewhere to park, we'll be in touch when we find it. Sunbeam out."
"Ohh... That... that's a lovely saying! What was that uh... There's no bad without the good, no good without the bad. I like that! I think i'll have that framed on my wall! Now lets see.. i ca- I CAN GIVE THE SEAMOTH A NAME? OOHHHhh okay, okay.. I can customize the color too! I think I'll just do this..."
Spiff leaves the name as 'Seamoth' for now, changing the color to a mix of purple for the main, and blue for the trim and name color. His two favorite colors. Spiffle does a little more work, acquiring the last fragments for the Cyclops and starts gathering together the resources necessary to build it.
"Hmmm.. Cyclops... Personal large scale submarine capable of carrying other vehicles! Ooohhh I want to build that! I need to fetch the Vehicle Bay though. Im almost done moving house!"
Spiff returns and packs up the last of his resources, then gets another radio message.
RADIO - "Aurora, we're approaching the planet now, and we have a landing site for you that's... well, it's better than the alternatives.'
'We've sent you the coordinates.'
'It'll take us a couple of days to align our orbit, we should be able to establish direct contact with you during that time, then we're coming in to get you.'
'Cross your fingers the weather holds, and don't leave us waiting. Sunbeam out."
Spiffle gets a new beacon on his HUD. Sunbeam Landing Site.
"What!? Is this game over If I'm there!? Okay... well. At least it's no longer terrifying! I'll get the Seamoth and go for the beacon then. I hope it's okay... Strange... this... doesn't feel like the end, you know? But if it is then it is."
Spiff heads home, deploys the Vehicle Bay and deposits his gear and resources. He heads towards the location, occasionally squealing 'WHEEE!!' as he uses the Seamoth to jump out of the water like a dolphin. However, he miscalculates and the Seamoth jumps up, out and sustains a bit of damage as it hits a rock formation close to the surface. He gets out, repairs it and looks at the camera.
"Why no I didn't just damage my Seamoth by having too much fun. I don't know what you are talking about. Hehe."
Spiffle smirks at the camera with a glare and carries on. Eventually, he encounters the largest of the Islands in the world.
"Wh... WHAT. This has been here the whole time!? Is this an island? Who cares! LAND! Sweet land!"
Spiffle now notices the timer and hops onto the island from his Seamoth. He walks up to the landing zone and stops dead in his tracks at the sight of the massive al;ien structure known as the Quarantine Enforcement Platform. In essence, a giant alien cannon.
"What... the *beep* is THAT?"
Spiffles' editing has gotten better, his editor learning how to censor Spiffles foul language, in both English AND Eridani. He moves closer to the building, scanning the broken tablet and the Forcefield Controls.
"What is this? I mean it's clearly alien... What do the codex entries say... 'possible to reconstruct the device' Oh... hmm.. I can make more of these then. 'Matches no known technologies... functions like a lock'. Okay then so... Standard video game logic I guess. That's nice! So A purple tablet will unlock the gate there. What are those?"
Spiff moves towards the Cairns marking the way into the island, pathways leading up the mountainside. He follows them, finding a Purple Tablet in the process on one of the pathways.
"Oh! Lovely! That saves me resources and a trip I guess. This pathway keeps going though. hmm... Welp, we still have thirty minutes, so let's go."
Spiff explores the pathway, getting lost a bit before finally figuring that following the large cables is a good idea. He comes across the Teleportation Arch and scans it, in between dodging the Cave Crawlers.
"Right, let's see... Alien Arch... not much to speak of here. Maybe this thing will be useful later I guess. Likely.... Hmmm..."
Spiffle continues exploring and eventually finds himself back at the forcefield with another twenty minutes to go.
"Screw it, let's go."
Spiff activates the forcefield platform and the animation of the key being placed plays out. He moves into the building, activating both data platforms and acquiring two Ion Cubes for later, scanning everything he thinks he can scan. He enters the Moonpool in the bay and gets two more Ion Cubes, plus data on a rifle and a Doomsday Device. He ignores it for now, acquiring one more purple tablet and accessing the control room.
"Right... what's in here? Hmm... Energy Core, right. I shall scan that and... press button?"
Spiff presses the button. An animation plays where a device locks his characters hand in place, viciously stabs it with a pointy metal bit and then releases it.
"OH GODS what the hell! Why is that?! That's just nasty!"
"THE TERMINAL IS BROADCASTING A MESSAGE. TRANSLATION READS: 'Warning, infected individuals may not disable the weapon. This planet is under quarantine.'"
"Quarantine! What? Infected? I-Hold on...."
Spiffle gets his scanner out and performs a self-scan. It is only now he notices something very bad has happened.
"I-infected!? Wait, what!?"
"SELF-SCAN COMPLETE - DETECTING STATISTICALLY SIGNIFICANT BACTERIAL LEVELS. NO ADVERSE EFFECTS DETECTED. BE VIGILANT FOR SYMPTOMS."
"Oh brilliant! Does that mean I can't leave? I KNEW IT! Wait... weapon!? This is a weapon!?"
Spiffle panics and runs out of the facility as fast as he can and waits the last few minutes for the Sunbeam to arrive. Sure enough, it does. In the last 30 seconds, the Sunbeam plays a message.
RADIO - "Survivor, we see you!
'Man, I don't know how you held out down there.'
The sunbeams message plays, and Spiffle gasps in terror from the sound of the gun platform starting up and starting to move around.
RADIO - "We've broken atmosphere and we're descending towards the landing site.'
'Is that a building down there?! What do you mean you can't identify it?"
The weapon powers up and turns, aiming itself high at the sky.
RADIO - "Hold on, no turning back now.'
'Positions everyone, touching down in 10, 9, 8-'
The weapon charges up and a loud vicious hum can be heard echoing through the valley.
RADIO - "It's coming from the building?! Change course, set thrusters to (full)-"
The radio goes to static, the weapon fires and the Sunbeam is vaporized instantly by a massive blast of bright green light. The sunbeam disappears, its hull structure completely disintegrated. Spiffle sits in stunned silence as the platform returns to a stable position, shuts down, and everything goes quiet.
"Well... Okay then... That was... horrifying. I guess thats all we have time for! Hehe! Oh dear..."
Spiffle looks a bit defeated as he sits back in his seat.
"S-see you next time! I guess... Holy shit..."
Channel Outro plays.
TOP COMMENT: "Are you okay? You seem a little bit too disturbed by that. Its fine though, compared to what happens in the Rise Of The Ancients Mod, this is tame! Lol! I love that mod!"
Spiffles Response: "Please don't make me play that mod..."
((Authors note - due to how bastardingly huge Subnautica is, this will be a multi part series. Other Spiff stories will come inbetween. Hope you enjoy!))

Some low level criminals want to buy some equipment just to make their next job easier. Others want to become a full on supervillain and have the ideas for their suit, but lack the ability to create it themselves. And some established supervillains just want an upgrade to help with their constant battles against the heroes of the world. All of them make their way to an unassuming fix-it shop in New York to employ the genius of the Terrible Tinkerer, who either for cash upfront or a cut of their profits will make whatever they wish. While Phineas Mason may often work in the background, that doesn't stop him from sometimes having to face superheroes himself, with Spider-Man being his most frequent adversary.

Legend

Creations

Notable Supervillain Clients

Suits - Upgrading

• Repaired the Grizzly's suit after he was let out from prison^Web#58
  • The Grizzly RT
• Upgraded Whirlwind's suit with sawblades within an hour of him first arriving^CA-1#324
• Upgraded the suits and/or weapons of the Vulture, Boomerang, Shocker, Beetle, and Whiplash^Sp-2#300
  • Vulture RT
  • Boomerang RT
  • Shocker RT
  • Beetle RT
• Fixes the Scorpion's tail, with it not being as powerful due to the extra modifications he made as requested^AF#79
  • Later modified it to have further offensive abilities^ASM#370
  • Allows him to control his suit using his mouth^IA#2
  • Scorpion RT

Suits - Creating

• Makes a power-enhancing exosuit for Hammerhead^FF#233
  • Hammerhead RT
• Using his client's knowledge, made the Binary Bug suit^MM#11
  • Binary Bug RT
• Creates a new suit for the original Beetle, according to his blueprints^DF#1
• Created suits for Stilt-Man and Blizzard^She#59
  • Stilt-Man RT
  • Blizzard RT
• Made equipment for Clash^CW#3
• Duplicated the Vulture's suit after being sent the plans^NM#86
  • Vulture RT

Weapons

• Made throwing diamonds for Diamondback^CA-1#369
  • Diamondback RT
• Works with Hobgoblin's weapons, recognizing them as Oscorp tech^ASM#651
  • Hobgoblin RT
• Created Stinger's weapons^Av-1#180
  • Stinger RT
• Arcade outsourced at least a claw machine trap to him, if not more, though he refused to pay for the Tinkerer's work^Sp-1#53
  • Arcade RT

Vehicles

• Made Jack O'Lantern's flying platform^She#59
• Created Rocket Racer's equipment, going on the designs they gave him^ASM#182
  • Rocket Racer RT
• Created the original Big Wheel by repurposing another potential client's equipment^ASM#182
  • Big Wheel RT
• Follows given designs to make Goldbug's ship using advanced equipment, noting its intreguing circuitry concepts and that it only had enough fuel for a couple hours as designed^IH#238
  • Goldbug RT

Other

• S.H.I.E.L.D. has intelligence that he worked on equipment for Jester, Scorcher, and Grim Reaper^SW#1
  • Scorcher RT
  • Grim Reaper RT
• Initially worked with Mysterio, though it's unclear how much gear he made for him^Sp-1#51
• Has a working relationship with the Trapster, though it's unclear if he made any of his equipment^CA-1#324
  • Trapster RT
• Has also done work for the Enclave^DMH and the Maggia

Weaponry

Exo-Suit

• A tank-like suit of armour activated through a watch-like device on his wrist, which Phineas floats in the middle of^Sp-2#3
• Grabs Spider-Man and shoves him through the ceiling^Sp-2#4
• Grabs and throws cars^Sp-2#4
• Drives out of a high floor of a building, crashing to the ground without damage^Sp-2#4
• Fires an explosive projectile^Sp-2#4
• Creates a holographic decoy of Phineas while the real Tinkerer escapes^Sp-2#4

Other Mechs / Mech Suits

• Created a robotic suit which he used to pretend to be his own brother as he fixed gear for superheroes^Sp-2#299
  • This suit is bulletproof and can change into a larger combat form, bursting through a wall and cratering the following one^Sp-2#300
  • This combat form is undamaged from having a car thrown on it by Spider-Man^Sp-2#300
  • Appears to shock Spider-Man or otherwise force him back, allowing the Tinkerer to escape^Sp-2#300
• Modified a giant Spider-Slayer for his purposes, which he dubs the Hero-Slayer^Sp-2#299
  • Slams Spider-Man into the ground, damaging it^Sp-2#299
  • Deactivates Vision as well as Falcon's, Black Panther's, and Ironheart's suits. While he had been fixing superheroes suits for a period, with Falcon explicitly being shown, he never touched Ironheart's armour, meaning while this may have been partially planning ahead there was also a general kill order released by the Hero-Slayer^Sp-2#299
• Uses a mech suit that seemingly grows back an arm that Spider-Man tears off, though it's unclear if he made it or the robotic species he was on the ship of at the time^Sp-2#306
  • Takes a punch from Spider-Man which sends him flying back before growing tendrils from its back to grab the superhero^Sp-2#306
  • Releases a unibeam from its chest, breaking a metal wall^Sp-2#306
• Gives a person a wingsuit to fly with as well as two energy pistols^Sp-2#3
  • Shoots electric bolts to take people out^Sp-2#3
  • Shoots Tinkerer's Exo-Suit, freezing its arm over^Sp-2#4
• Created exo-suits that people wear while Scorpion's testing out his new tail^ASM#370

Other

• Makes a beam weapon which could kill a normal person (though it only stuns Spider-Man) and another which destroys a machine's control panel^ASM#2
  • Finishes destroying a robot which had just been fighting Luke Cage^Cage#13
  • Destroys his robot assistant Toy, which Spider-Man described as being virtually invulnerable outside of certain stress points^Sp-1#53
  • Implied to have caused the destruction on a street, including breaking and overturning cars^IA#2
• Energy cannons which can fell trees with their shots^Av-2#27
• A gauntlet which shoots energy beams^CA-2#6
• Gave his son micro-bombs^Rick
• A mine which creates an iono-magnetic wave in an area, momentarily stopping vehicles and knocking people out for several hours^Snap
• Made 'tech-enabled trick arrows' for Hawkeye^Sp-2#300
• Used a jack-in-the-box to spray gas on a person who triggered it, which causes a woman to see everyone as a living toy^Sp-1#53
• Created a claw machine death trap which he used against Spider-Man^Sp-1#53
• Creates an add-on which uses phantom electrons to allow certain weapons to fire at double or triple speed^ASM#310

Robots

• Made a robot assistant named Toy who could lift the Spider-Mobile's engine with one hand^ASM#159
  • Tosses Spider-Man with one hand before getting punched back, having a brick wall crumble on top of him^ASM#160
  • Turns his head before Spider-Man's web-shooters hit it at point-blank range, is described as being as far above Spider-Man's strength as the hero's strength is above the Tinkerer's, and is said by Spider-Man to be virtually invulnerable outside of certain stress points^Sp-1#53
  • Used a propeller backpack to fly away without need for an external power source^Sp-1#53
• Made a robot which could fight Luke Cage while mimicking other villain's powers, setting fire to itself and releasing a thick tendril of wires from its arm^Cage#13
  • Releases a fire beam to send Luke Cage flying back before being largely unaffected by a car's explosion^Cage#13
  • Sprouts a tail like Scorpion's which fires a beam^Cage#13
• Made a robot which sprays acid to take down buildings, using this to burn through bedrock and escape^Cable#65
  • Topples a building through its acid on its foundations^Cable#65
  • No-sells a dropkick from Cable^Cable#65
• Creates a giant robot named the Alternator Bug-Bot, which can grow to three times its size, strike Thor away hard enough to break the top off a clock tower, and be deactivated through a control room in its head^DC#1
  • Quickly grows a hammer in place of its severed arm, using it to tear into the ground^DC#1
  • Turns into a small car^DC#1
• Invents androids to act as armed guards^Web#79
• Glass automatons which punch Wolverine down a road, knocking a taxi into the air^WA
• Army toys which fired actual ammunition, one shot blowing chunks off a brick wall^Sp-1#53
• Used a toy zeppelin to let off a flare, blinding Spider-Man^Sp-1

Transport

Spider-Mobile

• Repaired Spider-Man's lost Spider-Mobile^ASM#159
• Uses a web cannon to catch a falling Spider-Man, bundle him up, and yank him into the back seat^ASM#160
• Fires two web lines to make a bridge between buildings^ASM#160
• Can drive up walls^ASM#160
• It could be remote controlled^ASM#160
• He's said to have installed an autopilot in it, with Spider-Man using it at a later date to run into Hobgoblin^AR#1

Other

• Created a tank which blows a hole in a jail wall with a blast and rams into the Hulk hard enough to break him through a brick wall^IH#208
• Rocket boots^Sp-2#300
• Modified his wheelchair to handle stairs^WJ#16
  • Can also be rocket propelled^IM#7
• Constructs a teleportation device^DMH

Bases

• Has what Whirlwind believes is a scanner before dropping a client into his lair^CA-1#324
• Protects a base with electronic bolas, which release on a verbal command^NM#86
• Had approximately 250 weapons trained on a person from the moment they walked into a warehouse which could be triggers from two blinks in his left eye^CA-1#425
• A dome made of resisto-glass which traps Spider-Man inside before sucking all the air out^ASM#2

Other Wearables

• While in an interrogation room, his glasses hack Ironheart's suit after she removed its AI, allowing him to control it completely^Sp-2#306
• Power gloves which allows a person to telekinetically carry an ATM^Snap
• Used a waist-bound device to disguise his appearance^D#4
  • The device in use, where he also says it would be damaged by the rain^D#2
• Made earrings that interact with the wearer's inner ear to act as 'balance compensators', allowing Black Cat can always land on her feet^ASM#370
• Mass produces badges based on what Doctor Octopus discovered in Spider-Man's trackers^YO#4 which overload his spider-sense when activated^YO#5

Other

• His son uses gear the Tinkerer made to survive a large explosion with only two seconds notice^Ms#37
• An energy blade which he uses while gardening^D#4
• Installs spy cameras in radios while fixing them^ASM#2
  • These could be remotely destroyed all at once^ASM#2
• Sells a supervillain surveillance equipment and traps for their base^CA-1#385
• Uses a device to open a metal gas-filled canister containing Nitro^NM#86
• Used a device to unlock a door^D#4
• Gives Black Cat audio implants which allows her to hear distant whispers^Web#84
• Makes a pacemaker-like device out of carbonadium to keep a person encased with adamantium alive^WO#15
• A pocket-sized device which turns someone invisible for two minutes^Ms#33
• Invented a gas which prevented Spider-Man from wall-crawling or using his web-shooters^ASM#160
  • These work by clogging his pores and web-shooters^ASM#160
  • The effect wears off after a period^ASM#160
• Creates a device which removes Spider-Man's powers^ASM#341
  • The device was intended to only incapacitate Spider-Man for a period, and only supresses his powers with them returning on him using the device on himself again^ASM#343
• Creates a mind-control device which affects a large amount of college students at once^SVU#18
• Invented a device which allows Ghost to use his powers over a cellular network, arriving anywhere he calls a phone at^IM#21
• Hacked Starktech phones to make them untraceable and gave them to criminals around the world, with each one holding a unique AI to attract an alien species which judges civilizations depending on how they treat their AI^Sp-2#300
  • Starktech phones are meant to be unhackable, with Ironheart being the only other one to have done so^Sp-2#2
  • Ironheart is unable to trace any hacked phones, despite having one to work with, though she can track the environments around the phones^Sp-2#2
• Created a non-obtrusive waterproofing agent which functions as realistic looking skin for robots^UG#9

Other

Repairs

• Identifies Spider-Man's new web mode was hindering his web-shooters' performance, giving them a clear coating to fix the issue^Sp-2#1
• Fixed Falcon's wings and repairs Scott Lang's helmet when it wouldn't allow him to grow back to full height, setting his 'base' height to one inch taller than normal^Sp-2#1
• Fixes a device which disguises the wearer as another person, though it can't be worn in the rain without breaking^D#2
• Quickly repairs a wingsuit while he and its wearer are falling from a great height^Sp-2#5
• Is shown to have done repairs for and potentially upgraded the equipment of a number of heroes while in disguise, including Vision and Black Panther, having also put in a kill command he later uses. However, as Ironheart hasn't interacted with him before, it's possible that these specific heroes were just caught in a general kill command released by his mech^Sp-2#299
• Repairs Reed Richard's transporter to bring the building they were in back from the Negative Zone^SI#3

Other Business Offerings

• Sometimes buys in equipment as opposed to making it himself, doing so with Super-Patriot's Captain America shield^CA-1#425
• Runs a respected auction for supervillains, selling reputable gear^MK#6
• Forges an identity for the Gibbon^WJ#16
• Bonded adamantium to Cyber's skin^WO#14
• Grafts portions of the Muramasa blade into Daken's arms, using Adamantium sheathes to account for their anti-biological effects^WO#36

Business Attitude

• Has a code phrase to determine if a customer is there for his villainous dealings, and accepts both cash and a cut of any resulting profits^ASM#183
• Provides his customers with a warranty and care instructions for their new equipment^CA-1#324
• Checks his client's bank accounts to tell how much they can afford^Web#58
• Is sometimes willing to sell gear allowing criminals to use a specific villain's moniker, such as Stilt-Man^WJ#26
• Will sabotage his own creations if he feels that his client will attempt to blackmail him into giving them over before full payment is received^ASM#310

Other

• Vulture is able to identify he's the one who recreated his wings based on the liberties taken in its construction^NM#84
• Recognizes Spider-Man's tracking device on sight^Sp-1#53
• Understands how Nitro died after he disintegrated while fighting a mutant^NM#86
• Isn't intimidated by Wolverine^WO#15
• Wore a mask to hide his true identity in his initial appearance^ASM#2
• Isn't Spider-Man's archenemy, but is "on the top of (his) thwip-list"^Sp-2#1
• Is anti-mutant^UG#9

Lifetime - Staked: 892.4u, Profit/Loss: +12.04u, ROI: 1.35%, Parlay Suggestions: 171-67 Dog of the Week: 13-16
2024 - Staked: 245.3u, Profit/Loss: -21.32u
As always, scroll down for UFC Vegas 92 Breakdowns. The following is just a recap of last event’s results.
~UFC St. Louis (PREVIOUS CARD)~
Staked: 15.75u
Profit/Loss: -15.75u
Parlay Suggestions: 3-3
I’m not really sure how to write a review of a card where you go 0-11 in bets and lose 15.75u. All I know is I’m currently going through an awful year and results have been shocking, and mentally it’s becoming quite taxing. The records are cool and all, but I’m obviously losing money here also and suffering that much of a loss just doesn’t sit well. Mentally I’ve taken a bit of a hit, I can’t lie. Thankfully I’d done most of my research for this upcoming card before UFC STL took place so it shouldn’t cloud my decision making too much. Grateful we’ve got a break week coming up, I need some time to lick my wounds after this one.
I’ll save characters and just direct you to last week’s post if you’d like to see the disasterpiece that was my betting slate for that card.

~UFC Vegas 92~
Bang average card, and even worse from a betting perspective from the looks of these money lines! Honestly I don’t even know why anyone would read this from someone who just took as many consecutive Ls as I just did, but thanks for sticking around if you did. It probably won’t be a massive slate for me here anyway.
(also all breakdowns were written before UFC STL so the self-loathing stops here)

~Edson Barboza v Lerone Murphy~
Full disclosure, all my betting life I have been very keen to fade British fighters, despite being from the UK myself. The talent pool is just objectively smaller, the lack of combat sports in our school curriculum means fighters have less overall experience and years in competition, as well as the media’s and the UFC’s infatuation with hyping up any fighter from this country overall means that fading has been a net positive investment over the years. When it comes to betting lines, the oddsmakers in this country always hang the UK fighters out at slightly shorter prices too, because obviously that’s where the money is almost always going to go. I know I always did that.
Whilst we’re talking about betting, I’ll take the opportunity to get in a quick victory lap about Edson Barboza, who I confidently bet as an underdog to Sodiq Yusuff. The reads I made in for that fight almost looked like I’d seen it before, and it was probably my best bet of 2023 from a pure analytical perspective. Good times.
Edson Barboza has managed to turn incredibly underrated in recent years, mostly due to the fact he’s old and has been mauled a few performances lately. The blueprint to beat him is very clear - you either to go balls to the wall, crowd/pressure him and finish him early, or you cardio-wrestle him for 15/25 minutes.
It sounds quite simple, but both of those lanes require quite specific skillsets. They are obviously skillsets that Khabib, Tony Ferguson, Bryce Mitchell, Kevin Lee and Gaethje possess naturally, which explains 5 of his eight losses in recent years. The losses to Dan Ige and Paul Felder were scored terribly and should have been wins for Edson…and the remaining loss was to Giga Chikadze, which is the only time I think he’s been outclassed in what could be called an “even” fight on paper. Another key thing to note is that Edson is so explosive and dangerous that he has also managed to still score wins against fighters that do fit the stylistic blueprint to be able to make life difficult for him. People like Benny Dariush, Shane Burgos and Billy Quarantillo. But he finished all three of them. Another thing to note is that the calibre of every single name mentioned is very high.
So how does Lerone Murphy measure up against these blueprints? Well right off the bat his record shows he’s capable of a KO win, but it’s not a super reliable method and isn’t particularly process driven (IE it doesn’t come from him smothering his opponent with suffocating pressure early). In fact, his finish of Ricardo Ramos came from some surprisingly effective ground and pound, and the knee against Amirkhani was a fortuitous impact, in a fight where he was expected to find the finish against a guy with the ‘1 round of resilience’ curse.
So how about the wrestling/top control route? Well as previously mentioned Murphy showed some dangerousness in the way he finished Ramos in a grappling position, and his performance against Josh Culibao also shows that it’s his best chance of beating Edson. I have been impressed with his grappling ability in the UFC so far. He’s not a pure takedown artist though, and has averaged just 1.29 takedowns per 15 minutes inside the UFC. In that Culibao fight he was keen to clinch up, but took advantage of Culibao turning his back in the second. The third round was dominant for Murphy in regards to the grappling, but it all stemmed from him landing a body shot that pretty much compromised Culibao and turned him into a ragdoll for more than three minutes in the round. If all you do is look at UFCStats for that fight, then Murphy looks like Khabib…but the tape shows a very different story. He also probably should have gotten the finish there if we’re being critical!
I understand that Lerone Murphy is undefeated (although if you ask me he lost that Tukhugov debut, not that it matters), and has shown good moments from top position, but does doing that against a compromised Josh Culibao and Ricardo Ramos really justify you being the favourite against Edson Barboza? Edson’s fought the cream of the crop in the UFC since day one – his three most underwhelming results were losses to Jamie Varner, Donald Cerrone and Michael Johnson…that’s how ELITE the competition he’s faced has been. And even though he’s a bit long in the tooth he’s showing that he can still hang with guys at this level, like he did with Sodiq. Personally I think Yusuff is a more dangerous fighter for him than Lerone, who doesn’t appear to have that kind of imposing and dangerous striking style.
I think this betting line is putting so much unwarranted faith in Lerone Murphy. Yes, he could turn out to be a great prospect that enters the top 5 of the division one day, but we have not seen him show anywhere near the level of competence to be expected to beat Barboza more times than not. Stylistically, he doesn’t have anything that gives an immediate advantage against Barboza (at least nothing I could trust him to lean on for 25 minutes), the only angle there is age. Yes Barboza is getting a bit old and shopworn, but he’s still beating younger guys consistently. Also, whilst we’re talking about intangibles, Barboza is very experienced in five round fights, and the extra two rounds allow him back into the fight should his weakness towards early pressure show itself.
I’d say Edson should be around -150 here. The line available feels unsubstantiated and purely based on the age dynamic, as I have not seen anything from tape that implies Lerone Murphy is up to the task. He barely got past Gabriel Santos last year.
I had a great time betting Barboza as a dog last time, so I’m doing it again. 1u on Edson Barboza to Win at +125 or better. The line looks to be moving in Lerone’s favour at the moment so I will wait to bet this.
How I line this fight: Edson Barboza -150 (60%), Lerone Murphy +150 (40%)
Bet or pass: 1u Edson Barboza to Win (+XXX)
Prop leans: None

Khaos Williams v Carlston Harris
Pretty awful Co-Main Event. It’s a fun fight but neither man is really considered one-to-watch and they’ve barely fought once each in the last year. You telling me they couldn’t have found a better fight to go on the poster for this one?
Anyway, both men are a little bit wild on the feet, but Harris is clearly the less technical and defensively sound of the two.
Williams kind of forged his path in the UFC with KO victories, but when forced to be technical across 15 minutes he gives a decent enough account of himself (I’ve tried to fade him twice in that type of bout, against Randy Brown and Matt Semelsberger). He’s clearly going to look much better when he can find finishes, but I think I still expect him to be the more eye-catching fighter if this one is a 15 minute kickboxing affair.
But that’s the problem here…Carlston Harris’ grappling game is the strongest skillset that either man possesses, and it’s whether or not he can get it going that will likely determine who wins this one. Unfortunately, we have only seen Williams taken down twice in the UFC, both times by Michel Pereira (who isn’t even much of a wrestlegrappler himself). To make matters worse, they both came in the 14^th and 15^th minutes of the fight and we barely got to see anything, so they really are low quality examples.
I’ve been watching MMA long enough to know that a guy like Khaos Williams probably isn’t a particularly amazing grappler, but of course that’s still a huge assumption to make. With no knowledge of how Khaos is going to fare working off his back, I really do not think this fight is one that you can have any degree of confidence in. The books had initially lined it around a pick’em, which could well imply that they feel the exact same way. It’s unfortunately a pass from me, because a Williams with great TDD and process on bottom could end up being -300…but white belt Williams could look +300.
How I line this fight: Impossible to line with any confidence, so a pick’em is fine.
Bet or pass: Pass
Prop leans: None

~Angela Hill v Luana Pinheiro~
After chasing it for quite some time, MMA bettors finally managed to catch the fade on Luana Pinheiro. When she entered the UFC she was discredited for her exclusively R1 finishes, with people predicting her cardio would not be up to scratch. Things got worse when she took the coward’s way to a win against Jessica Penne – seemingly blowing her gas and then milking the extent of the damage done from an illegal strike and winning by KO. As we know from the MMA community, doing stuff like that will make you one of the most hated fighters on the roster. She then moved to 2-0 with a split decision win as a favourite against Michelle Waterson…which many people think she lost. Basically, not a very impressive stint in the UFC so far.
Finally she went up against Amanda Ribas, who went on to expose that dodgy cardio of Pinheiro, melting her in the third round with a beautiful wheel kick when Pinheiro was death gassed. Now we know it’s possible, the third round of Pinheiro’s fight against Waterson-Gomez makes a bit more sense, seeing as Waterson took over and clearly won it.
Nothing kills a hype train quicker than realising that a fighter has bad cardio, and it’s safe to say that whatever hype there was on Luana (minimal) is dead…because she’s a +125 underdog to Angela Hill here.
In my opinion, Angela Hill has been an incredibly underrated fighter for such a long time and absolutely deserves her flowers as one of WMMA’s most respected journeywomen. She’s had 24 UFC fights, and she’s still showing up better than fighters much younger than her and doesn’t appear to even be slowing down.
The blueprint on Hill has been pretty clear for some time – if you want to beat her relatively easily, you take her down. Otherwise, you’re going up against technically impressive striker that has the durability, a sneaky bit of power and seemingly limitless cardio to keep you honest. Really, if you manage to have success against Angela Hill on the feet, the best thing you can really hope for is about 55% of dominance (typically where two judges score one way, and another goes the opposite).
As I often say, statistics for MMA are best used when comparing WMMA strikers, and the figures here are quite eye-opening. Hill’s strike differential is vastly superior, and their defensive rates are very close. In short, if they stay on the feet for 15 minutes I think Hill should be expected to out-volume her opponent. When you factor in Pinheiro’s cardio deficiencies, that’s even more likely.
Therefore, Pinheiro has two routes to success here in my opinion – her typical R1 finish, or by going the grappling route. Firstly, Hill has never been finished via (T)KO in 29 professional fights (most of which have come at a high level), so I think it’s fair to say she deserves trust in being able to stay safe. She’s also quite an intelligent fighter, so I assume she’s going to be aware that her success will come in the latter half of the fight.
In terms of the grappling, Pinheiro landed five takedowns in the opening round against Markos, and that’s what forced her to gas out…so I don’t really think she’s going to be comfortable enough to lean on that skillset for 15 minutes straight. Hill is defensively quite sound on the mat as well, so as long as she can avoid getting stuck in a position I think she’ll be fine.
So in short, the only skillset I think Luana Pinheiro deserves credit for at this level is her R1 explosiveness, and Angela Hill is one of the worst opponents to pit that style against. Hill’s last victory proves that, as she survived the early barrage of another R1 finisher and took over in R2/3. I think the exact same mission statement applies here, and I think Angela Hill should definitely be trusted to do that. I’d personally line Hill somewhere like -175 to -200 here, so the -137 available at the time of writing was an easy bet to make. Let’s go Angie! 2u Angela Hill to Win at -137.
How I line this fight: Angela Hill -188 (65%), Luana Pinheiro +188 (35%)
Bet or pass: 2u Angela Hill to Win (-137), 0.25u Angela Hill to Win by Decision (+125 or better)
Prop leans: Hill couldn’t finish her dinner, so the decision prop will be one to look out for.
Live Betting Leans: If Pinheiro wins R1 and goes a bit crazy in trying to find a finish, betting Hill on the stool before R2 is a good move as the cardio fall-off could be live.

~Adrian Yanez vs Vinicius Salvador~
This feels like a weird mismatch and I don’t know why it’s happening.
Adrian Yanez is a classy and technical striker that I feel has become a bit overrated. The fans love him and put him on a pedestal as some sort of elite fighter’s fighter – I get that he’s fun to watch and a good boxer, but I’d argue he’s had more underwhelming performances than good in the UFC. He got styled on by Font and Martinez, was competitive against Davey Grant and lost more minutes than he won against Randy Costa. There’s not much shame in that and I’m not trying to say Yanez is bad, but I don’t think those performances warrant him being regarded as one of the most popular unranked fighters on the roster.
He faces Vinicius Salvador, who looked like an exciting fighter from his DWCS victory, but there was always a suspicion that he would have very little to offer outside of barn burners and very early KOs. The UFC pissed away the chance for a fan-friendly prelim guy by putting him up against two of the scrappiest and most durable guys at Flyweight – Victor Altamirano and CJ Vergara. The path to victory for both men was very clear there, and they grinded out long-distance victories after Salvador had nothing to offer after five minutes.
The UFC should have instantly viewed Salvador the same as they do Trevor Peek. Someone who is hilariously flawed but scrappy and entertaining to watch nonetheless. His striking style is unorthodox and weird, which looks great when he’s the hammer but awful when he’s the nail. Against a fighter as scrappy and technical sound a boxer as Yanez, this obviously seems like a tall order.
But ironically, whilst this is the toughest opponent Salvador has faced so far in his career, it’s probably his most winnable fight too. Yanez will oblige him in providing a war for the fans, which will give Salvador his chance to land that early KO. Yanez also been pieced up twice in a row so durability could also be a bit more questionable. Yes there is a massive gap in technique and overall skill…but one clean right hand can trump all of that, and Yanez can be hit by one.
Yanez is a -350 favourite here, which is a very easy way to put that final nail in the coffin of considering betting him. Whilst I do think he probably deserves to be close to that number in terms of his overall winning probability, it really won’t take much for the tables to turn massively here, so risking -350 seems like a terrible idea.
A bet on Salvador on the return is too ugly to stomach though, because he could also get absolutely styled on. It’s an easy pass all round.
How I line this fight: Adrian Yanez -250 (71%), Vinicius Salvador +250 (29%)
Bet or pass: Pass
Prop leans: FDGTD very likely but doubt the price is at all playable.

~Oumar Sy v Antonio Trocoli~
We’re all jealous of Antonio Trocoli, AKA Mr Mackenzie Dern. I’ve probably got more to say about her than I do about this fight.
I’m obviously not going to do any tape for this fight, so the only thing of note from their records is that Trocoli has regional loses to Dhiego Lima (pre-UFC) and Jacob ‘Christmas’ Volkmann (post-UFC), both of which are pretty concerning losses. He also popped for steroids on DWCS, so who knows how good he actually is when he’s clean.
Sy is a terrifying specimen of a man, with a 9-0 record by KO/SUB/DEC. I suppose this is a good time to remind you that William Knight also looked like a god.
Why would you bet this fight? Just pass and take the info we get here into their next appearances.
How I line this fight: I’d have more confidence in my ability to hook up with Mackenzie Dern than my ability to accurate cap this fight.
Bet or pass: Pass
Prop leans: Over 1.5 Mackenzie Dern sightings (-200)

~Emily Ducote v Vanessa Demopoulos~
Two very middle-of-the-road WMMA fighters that I am quite familiar with.
Demopoulos got to the dance via her grappling and submission ability, but has spent time honing her skills on the feet that she actually seems to have abandoned a grappling based approach entirely, having landed an average of 0.49 takedowns per 15 mins in her UFC/DWCS career so far. On the feet, she’s scrappy and actually does hit kind of hard, but the technique is still very much a work in progress. She makes up for the lack of finesse with pure enthusiasm and grit, and will stay in her opponent’s face and swing until the final bell. She’s also pretty durable too, having never lost by finish in 15 fights with striking that’s that sketchy.
Emily Ducote is kind of the polar opposite. She’s a dedicated striker that has decent enough grappling defence. She has little to no power in her hands, but she’s reliable to rack up decent volume and can keep it up across 15 minutes. She has landed 100+ significant strikes in 3 of her 4 UFC bouts, but she’s also absorbed 100+ in 3 too.
The summary of this one is that Ducote is just the cleaner striker of the two, but I think this -330 price tag is a bit ridiculous. Yes, comparing the stats makes it seem that Ducote will win easily, but Demopoulos has faced quite a few opponents that have wanted to grapple her, and her Strikes landed per minute figures are skewed as a result. Given that Ducote absorbs a similar number to what she lands, I think Demopoulos’ enthusiasm should see her land far more than she has done before. Also, Demopolous’ fight metrics are often inferior to her opponents in all of the fights she loses, so the stats do her a major disservice to how competitive she can be.
I always say that there’s a real ceiling in regards to how much you can favour a striking based WMMA fighter if they have no power or finishing ability. The judges do not score technique, so the 50+ pitter patter punches they land can easily be trumped by any instance where it looks like they get hurt on the return, so in this instance I think Vanessa’s power and forward pressure could be enough to make rounds closer than the odds suggest they should be.
In short, Ducote price is nuts but she should probably win so definitely deserves to be favoured. I wouldn’t bet anything here other than FGTD, which could be a decent parlay piece anywhere less than -400. I’d be interested to see what Ducote by Decision looks like because I do rate Demopolous’ durability and see it going the distance quite frequently…so +100 or better would get my money.
How I line this fight: Emily Ducote -250 (71%), Vanessa Demopoulos +250 (29%)
Bet or pass: 1u Emily Ducote to Win by Decision (+100 or better)
Prop leans: See above

~Ramiz Brahimaj v Themba Gorimbo~
Stylistically this is a very funny fight, because it’s between two guys whose strengths and weaknesses are exactly the same. They’re both aggressive grapplers with average to bad striking, and they’ll hunt for the finish from the opening bell…and fall off a cliff at the halfway point if they can’t find it.
Themba Gorimbo is unfortunately completely unbettable at this stage in his career, I think. He’s obviously got this narrative with The Rock going on, and it’s somehow managed to turn him from a sub-par, barely UFC quality fighter that can’t beat AJ Fletcher, to someone whose fame actually manages to transcend MMA a little bit. Just goes to show how important those post-fight interviews can be! That popularity obviously swells his betting line as he’s likely to garner more money and attention from bettors, whereas Brahimaj is a nobody unless you’re a hardcore with a good memory. Couple that with the fact Themba’s style is not sustainable across 15 minutes, and you’ve got a fighter with a very limited path to victory that you can rely on, who comes with an eye-watering price tag.
Whilst Brahimaj’s betting line would lean towards the value side due to Thema’s popularity, this is the first time we have seen him compete in over two years. He was a fighter that came in during COVID times, and immediately got thrown into the deep end when matchmaking was difficult. I bet Max Griffin against him due to Max’s durability (IE my bet was ‘Max to survive and turn the tables’), and it resulted in Griffin slicing Ramiz’s ear in half with an elbow (one of the more gruesome moments we have ever seen in the cage). Ramiz managed to hit is PTV against Micheal Gillmore (the runt of the litter in a season of TUF who had no right competing in the UFC. The only interesting thing about him was that his parents couldn’t even spell his own name ), as well as Sasha Palatnikov. When facing a veteran grappler like Court McGee, I also won a bet backing the experience and durability of a guy like Court (which is ironic given I’ve bet on Court to be KO’d in his last two).
So basically, my summary here is that Thembo deserves to be favoured simply by being more proven and in the better recent form. He’s got good enough grappling all round to be able to stop Ramiz from being so dominant as a round one buzzsaw, and unless Brahimaj has made some major changes in the two years off, Themba’s probably got the slightly superior cardio (by a bit) and therefore should still be around once his opponent fades.
The -275 betting line is absurd though, as I mentioned earlier, because there’s a likelihood that Themba gasses out himself too, and it could easily be Brahimaj that’s fresher in the latter stages, should we get there. Therefore, it’s a very easy pass. I will take a look at the round props as there could potentially be an angle on some sort of combination, but we will see.
How I line this fight: Themba Gorimbo -200 (67%), Ramiz Brahimaj +200 (33%)
Bet or pass: Fight to End in Rounds 2 or 3 (price dependent), or something like that
Prop leans: See above

~Tom Nolan v Victor Martinez~
I’m bored of saying it, but Jesus Christ the calibre of a ‘UFC Fighter’ is just so low these days. Tom Nolan just got knocked out in 63 seconds as a -350 favourite to Nikolas Motta (shoutout to me for sort of predicting that), and Victor Martinez’s UFC debut saw him get knocked out cold by JORDAN LEAVITT.
So what do you do, bet at -350 on an unproven fighter who shat the bed at the exact same price tag last time? Or trust a guy who got put to sleep by the hands of Jordan Leavitt?
Obviously, you pass. If I see a single parlay screenshot with Nolan in it this weekend I will lose all hope.
How I line this fight: I like my chances of pulling Mackenzie Dern for a second time, more than I like my chances of lining this fight accurately.
Bet or pass: Pass
Prop leans: See above

~Abus Magomedov v Warlley Alves~
Abus Magomedov needs to fire his manager. He started off his UFC career with a highlight reel KO inside 20 seconds, and had the world at his feet. Then he gets a main event spot against Sean Strickland. Fair enough taking an opportunity, but trying to speed run the rankings is a terrible idea when you consider all they want to do these days is play monopoly and generate stars. It’s much better to KO bums in the prelims and get paid a 50k bonus a few times than do what he did against Strickland…because look who he got for his third fight after losing in embarrassing fashion - Caio Borralho, who is lowkey one of the best prospects in the UFC at the moment in my opinion. Abus basically went from prospect to fodder when he lost to Strickland, and I wouldn’t expect him to stick around in the UFC for too much longer if he doesn’t start delivering early KOs again.
He should be able to get the better of Warlley Alves though. Alves looks hella old and shopworn, despite only being 33 years old somehow. He has ridden the coattails of having a win against Colby Covington on his record for his entire career, because he’s done nothing remarkable with it since. His loss to James Krause was the fight where it was apparent Alves was on the decline, and a ‘loser leaves town’ win against the equally old and frail Sergio Moraes was the only thing keeping him afloat. He scored a shock upset KO via body kicks against Mounir Lazzez (who turned out to be a bit of a fraud anyway), but the writing has been on the wall for Warlley for some time. Fast forward a few years and he's on a threefight losing streak again, having been beaten down pretty badly and finished in under 1.5 rounds in four of his last five losses.
That’s a key piece of info for this one, because we know Abus’ limitations revolve around him being a great early fighter with terrible and unsustainable levels of cardio. When looking at Abus’ fights, you need to decipher the chances of him winning early, and that will explain the rest.
Given Alves’ frailty, I think this is a pretty generous fight for Magomedov – possibly the most appropriate and tailor-made matchup they could have found for him!
His winning probability relies heavily on doing work early, so naturally betting Abus R1/2 KO would be the obvious go to. I’m not sure there will be any value on that prop though, because it’s a pretty obvious angle that everyone’s going to try and take. However, I’ve long known that Bet365’s Bet Builder product is broken when combining Winner + Total Rounds, especially before they release the rest of the props as it’s completely out of context…so Backing Abus to Win and Under 1.5 Rounds at the right time could produce a valuable price before it gets corrected. That’s all I’ll be looking to play for this fight, assuming those early Abus props are rubbish. Be careful what price is available if you’re considering this, it’s going to be much shorter than normal and it’s a very limited window to be betting on.
How I line this fight: Abus Magomedov -250 (71%), Warlley Alves +250 (29%)
Bet or pass: Abus Magomedov to Win & Under 1.5 Rounds (+125 or better)
Prop leans: See Above
Live Betting Leans: I’d take a look at Alves on the stool after R1, but I don’t think I could trust him really.

~Piera Rodriguez v Ariane Carnelossi~
Ariane Carnelossi returns after two years on the sidelines. I’ve always jokingly been a fan of her, because that fight against Na Liang (the first UFC Fight back with fans after COVID) was genuinely one of the highlights of 2021 and it was such a fun fight with a crazy energy. Also helps that I bet her heavily in that.
Carnelossi’s a decent striker that actually hung with Angela Hill back in the day, but her wrestling defence is a clear weak point. She got absolutely ragdolled in one of the best UFC performances I can remember when she faced Loopy Godinez, and even Na Liang had some success in that opening round. She’s not a fish off her back or anything, but if you can’t defend takedowns and your opponent has the cardio and ability to chain takedowns together…you’re going to struggle.
Piera Rodriguez is a pretty well-rounded fighter, she’s decent enough in the striking realm and has a diverse arsenal with kicks and a whole lot of feints, but she’s also a decent enough grappler that can commit to that multiple takedown approach. She’s landed three or more in each of her UFC/DWCS victories and just generally does a good job of showcasing herself to be a well-rounded mixed martial artist. My biggest criticism of her is that she does look to have slight signs of bad cardio, as her third rounds against both Hughes and Hansen were a bit laboured and slow.
So initially this fight was lined as a clear pick’em, which I didn’t agree with at all. Whilst Carnelossi should be able to show some competitiveness, her inability to defend takedowns should see her on the back foot for a fair bit of this fight, and her desire to land the knockout with every punch she throws could even see her lose moments on the feet to Piera’s kicking game and more technical style. Carnelossi does have a bit of a cardio advantage though, which Piera will have to navigate, but other than that I think the Venezuelan should be given the nod as a moderate favourite, probably around -175. Considering I got Piera at -120, I thought that was worthy of a 2u bet. If the line continues to move though, I may arb out as I think -175 is a very fair number.
How I line this fight: Piera Rodriguez -175 (64%), Ariane Carnelossi +175 (36%)
Bet or pass: 2u Piera Rodriguez to Win (-120)
Prop leans: Probably a decision win for Piera, Carnelossi is dedicated and Piera not much of a finisher.

~Alatengheili v Kleydson Rodrigues~
I write the same synopsis for Alatengheili because the guy never changes. Here’s a paragraph from his last fight that I wrote:
Alatengheili is one of the most frustrating talents I’ve seen in MMA in recent years. He was once the number three freestyle wrestler in China and looks to actually have a really promising wrestling game…but he just doesn’t fight like it! In his UFC debut, he faced a clearly superior striker and waited until round 3 to start shooting religiously (no attempts in R1 or 2, 7 attempts in R3). After that, he did exactly the same again in a split decision win against Ryan Benoit (1 TD attempt in R1, none in R2, and 12 in R3). He then faced Casey Kenny, who is a great defensive grappler…and decided not to attempt a takedown. Then he faced Gustavo Lopez, who took HIM down three times from eight attempts, and none from Alatenheili. He went on to beat Kevin Croom in under a minute on the feet, then went back to his regular style of waiting until R3 for takedowns when he beat Chad Anheliger. In the Gutierrez fight that followed, he attempted four takedowns and landed two. These all came in – you guessed it- round three.
So I think it’s fair to assume that we can’t call Alatengheili much of a wrestler anymore. When he’s striking on the feet, he’s clearly got some power in a big wind up shot, but other than that it’s quite flat footed and low volume stuff. Those aren’t particularly good qualities, as he’s hardly demonstrating a clear killer instinct that makes up for bad minute winning fundamentals.
Kleydson Rodrigues is a guy I was quite excited about when he got to the UFC. He looked great on DWCS, but immediately had a tough test against CJ Vergara in his debut. I do personally think he won that fight, but CJ’s pace, pressure and tenacity got the better of him down the stretch and made that fight close. He returned and obliterated Shannon Ross, before being steamrolled on the mat by Farid Basharat. A real mixed bag of results, overall.
The thing is, I don’t exactly think that the losses Rodrigues suffered are directly relevant here, as Farid’s topside grappling is way way better than Alateng’s. The Mongolian also doesn’t have the forward pressure or pace of CJ Vergara, due to how flat footed he is.
On the flipside, Alatengheili has struggled against fighters who technically outclass him on the feet, or those with good takedown defence. The Mongolian has proven to be a tough fighter to put away, which should give him a chance to take over at the midway point.
Comparatively, I think Kleydson Rodrigues has shown himself to be a higher calibre striker than Alatenheili, and clearly the more diverse one. Kleydson also throws a lot of low kicks, which are a key weapon when trying to nullify the grappling threat of the already flat footed power puncher.
In conclusion, I just think Kleydson Rodrigues outclasses Alatengheili in the striking, whereas I don’t think the Mongolian outclasses him anywhere on the return. The Mongolian has proven he is keen to stay on the feet for the majority of fights, which should leave the door wide open for Kleydson to win minutes. The cardio advantage does lie with Alateng, but I don’t think he pushes enough of a pace in the grappling or striking department to make Kleydson fade like he did against CJ (who is one of the more suffocating guys in the division). Also, Alateng’s grappling threat in R3 may well be nullified by the 10 minutes of leg kick investment that Kleydson has already made.
So as you can probably tell, I favour Kleydson Rodrigues in this one. I personally thought he should be a -200 favourite, so I was expecting to pass on this one…but it looks like the BetOnline moneyline is moving towards -150. For some strange reason the fight is barely available in the UK for now, but I’m hoping that -150 would be available for me to bet for 2u.
How I line this fight: Kleydson Rodrigues -200 (67%), Alatengheili +200 (33%)
Bet or pass: 2u Kleydson Rodrigues to Win (-160 or better)
Prop leans: None
Live Betting Leans: If it’s 1-1 going into the third and there’s been a pace…I’d recommend betting Alatengheili.

~Tamires Vidal v Melissa Gatto~
Melissa Gatto is a competent and well-rounded fighter. She went to competitive decisions with Tracey Cortez and Ariane Lipski. She is UFC quality.
Tamires Vidal is a plodding fighter that doesn’t appear to be very good at defensive grappling. She went to a competitive decision against Montserrat Rendon. She is not UFC quality.
Gatto is -400. It’s a very steep price to pay but I don’t think it’s too far off where it ought to be – she should be able to point strike on the feet and have very decent grappling success, where she can definitely fish for a submisison. I’d be interested in seeing what the price on Gatto by Submission is though, so I may be looking to play that.
How I line this fight: Tamires Vidal +300 (25%), Melissa Gatto -300 (75%)
Bet or pass: Xu Melissa Gatto to Win by Submission (+300 or better)
Prop leans: See above

Bets (Bold = been placed)
2u Edson Barboza to Win (+130)
1.6u Themba Gorimbo to Win (-137)
0.3u Themba Gorimbo to Win in Rounds 2/3 (+380)
0.1u Themba Gorimbo to Win by Submission in Rounds 2/3 (+1150)
2u Angela Hill to Win (-137)
2u Piera Rodriguez to Win (-120)
2u Kleydson Rodrigues to Win (-150)
2u Abus Magomedov to Win & Under 1.5 Rounds (+130)
0.5u Melissa Gatto to Win by Submmission (+225)
0.25u Parlay Pieces (+699)
Parlay Pieces: Angela Hill, Emily Ducote, Abus Magomedov, Kleydson Rodgriguez, Melissa Gatto
Dog of the Week: Edson Barboza

I have a family member(uncle) that works at Arrowhead. Just like everyone else I've been absolutely livid about balance lately. I've been telling him to please, please, please buff weapons or to at least let me know if any buffs are coming. After 3 months of pestering he finally gave in and sent me a work in progress draft of patch notes. While the patch notes aren't finalized, I have it on good authority that most, if not all, of these changes are coming in the near future:
General

• Armor no longer has weight categories. Armor rating can now be lowered for increased speed/stamina regen and vice versa.
• NPCs on Destroyers now respond to player emotes.
• There are now multiple Personal Orders per day, but players can only progress one at a time.
• Added setting in the options menu gameplay section to disable misaligned scopes.
• Added setting in the options menu gameplay section to disable self damage from ricochet.
• Added "Flag of Super Earth" as a mission stratagem for Helldivers who truly believe in Liberty and Democracy.
• Added a communal shower on Destroyers to wash off blood from your armor.
• Civilians are now equipped with Shield Generator Packs.

Primary, Secondary, & Support Weapons

• AR-23 Liberator
  • The Liberator is every Helldiver's starting weapon and we want to ensure that it is always an option and not immediately replaced.
  • Damage permanently increased by 1 every time a Major Order is completed.
• AR-23P Liberator Penetrator
  • Increased magazine capacity from 30 to 50.
  • Now has a bayonet affixed. Melee attacks with this weapon have increased damage and medium penetration.
• AR-23C Liberator Concussive
  • Now properly gives enemies a concussion.
  • Concussed enemies stop fighting and wander the map aimlessly.
  • If a concussed enemy goes to sleep there's a strong chance they end up in a coma.
• BR-14 Adjudicator
  • Increased damage from 80 to 100.
  • Increased magazine capacity from 25 to 30.
  • Semi auto is now the default fire mode.
  • Now placed amongst marksman rifles.
• AR-61 Tenderizer
  • Increased damage from 60 to 80.
  • Enemies killed with the Tenderizer can now be eaten. However, only bugs can restore health.
• R-63 Diligence
  • Now has a burst fire mode.
  • Increased magazine capacity from 20 to 25.
• R-63CS Diligence Counter Sniper
  • Increased damage from 140 to 175.
  • Increased stagger.
  • Deals 50% more damage to other Helldivers that are using marksman rifles or Anti-Material Rifles. Deals 100% more damage if they have both.
• SMG-37 Defender
  • Is now both a Primary and Secondary weapon.
• SMG-73 Pummeler
  • Now makes comical punching noises on impact.
• MP-98 Knight
  • Can now be purchased by non-Super Citizens for 500 super credits.
  • Non-Super Citizens are now aware of this weapon.
• SG-8 Punisher
  • Increased shots per minute from 80 to 100.
  • Nearby Helldivers can now buddy pump the Punisher for you for an even higher fire rate.
• SG-8S Slugger
  • Now has a scope that can be ranged at 25m, 50m, and 75m.
  • Increased stagger.
  • Also can be buddy pumped.
• SG-225 Breaker
  • Increased magazine capacity from 13 to 16
  • Reduced recoil from from 55 to 30.
• SG-225IE Breaker Incendiary
  • Reloading with rounds still in the magazine now has Helldivers throw the magazine, functioning as an incendiary grenade.
  • Now has a full auto mode.
• SG-225SP Breaker Spray & Pray
  • Increased magazine capacity from 26 to 60.
• CB-9 Exploding Crossbow
  • Slightly bigger explosion.
  • Added shrapnel.
  • Increased number of maximum magazines from 8 to 12.
  • Slight increase in ergonomics.
  • Muzzle velocity decreased.
  • Bolts now have interchangeable payloads(Explosive, Gas, Smoke, and Incendiary).
  • Explosive bolts can now destroy the things you'd expect it to be able to destroy.
• R-36 Eruptor
  • Increased explosive damage by 40. Again.
  • Added shrapnel.
  • Projectile now lodges itself into targets/surfaces(assuming it can penetrate) and explodes after 1 second.
• JAR-5 Dominator
  • Increased damage from 275 to 299.
  • Added shrapnel.
• LAS-5 Scythe
  • Can now be fired for 60 seconds before overheating.
  • Decreased recoil from 1 to 0.
  • Laser will now infinitely bounce on any and all surfaces.
• ARC-12 Blitzer
  • No longer requires recharging.
  • Power! Unlimited POWER!
• SG-8P Punisher Plasma
  • Now fires multiple arcs of plasma in a spread.
  • Now placed amongst both shotguns and energy weapons.
  • Added plasma shrapnel.
• LAS-16 Sickle
  • Is now One Handed. As sickles are known to be.
• PLAS-1 Scorcher
  • Changed color of plasma from blue to red for increased projectile speed.
  • Now sets targets on fire on direct hits.
  • Added plasma shrapnel.
• PLAS-101 Purifier
  • Increased damage from 250 to 300.
  • The longer the charge is held, the larger the explosion.
  • Added plasma shrapnel.
• P-2 Peacemaker
  • Can now be held at 90 degree angle.
  • This fire mode increases damage from 75 to 100.
  • Now has a burst fire mode.
• P-19 Redeemer
  • Slight decrease in recoil.
  • Now has a burst fire mode.
• P-4 Senator
  • Increased ammo capacity from 40 to 60.
  • Shots that ricochet will automatically aim for nearby enemies.
• LAS-7 Dagger
  • Replaced with an actual dagger.
  • Now capable of lethal damage.
• GP-31 Grenade Pistol
  • Increased magazine capacity to 2.
  • Now a double barreled grenade pistol.
  • Add shrapnel.
• P-113 Verdict
  • Now has medium penetration.
  • Increased stagger.
• M-105 Stalwart
  • Now has two more fire rate modes: 1400RPM and 2000RPM.
• MG-43 Machine Gun
  • Has a random chance to appear in Hellpods that have space for it.
  • Stratagem doesn't need to be equipped for this to occur.
• MG-206 Heavy Machine Gun
  • Increased magazine capacity from 75 to 500.
• APW-1 Anti-Material Rifle
  • Can now shoot through terrain.
  • Scope now has an Xray toggle to see enemies through terrain.
• RS-422 Railgun
  • Safe mode removed.
  • Unsafe mode is now default.
  • No longer explodes in hands if overcharged.
  • The longer the charge is held the more damage and penetration. Damage and penetration scales infinitely.
• EAT-17 Expendable Anti-Tank
  • Added shrapnel.
• GR-8 Recoilless Rifle
  • The spirits of fallen Helldivers who have died while manually reloading their Recoilless Rifle will now appear to buddy reload.
  • Added shrapnel.
• FAF-14 Spear
  • Not only is the lock on improved, but can now lock on to multiple targets.
  • No longer requires reload. Shots are taken immediately from backpack.
  • Added shrapnel.
• LAS-99 Quasar Cannon
  • Renamed to Laser Cannon.
  • Recharge time now randomly takes anywhere from 5-15 seconds.
  • Added laser shrapnel.
• RL-77 Airburst Rocket Launcher
  • Removed rocket launcher.
  • Rockets are now fired directly from backpack. Mandalorian style.
  • Added shrapnel to each cluster bomb.
• GL-21 Grenade Launcher
  • Launched grenades are the same type of grenade as the one you have equipped.
• FLAM-40 Flamethrower
  • Now benefits from Servo-Assist.
• ARC-3 Arc Thrower
  • Now benefits from Servo-Assist.
• LAS-98 Laser Cannon
  • Renamed to Annihilation Beam.
  • Damage increases the longer the laser is held.
  • Can now be fired for 60 seconds before overheating.
• Frag Grenade
  • More shrapnel.
• High Explosive Grenade
  • Added shrapnel.
• Impact Grenade
  • Added shrapnel.
• Smoke grenade
  • Added shrapnel.
• Incendiary Grenades
  • Added super heated shrapnel.
• Impact Incendiary Grenade
  • Added super heated shrapnel.
• Stun Grenade
  • Added shrapnel.
• Thermite Grenade
  • Added shrapnel.
  • Expels shrapnel every second before detonation.

Stratagems

• Eagle Stratagems
  • While Eagle-1 is rearming, Eagle-2 will take over. She's sounds hotter than Eagle-1.
  • Added shrapnel to all Eagle stratagems except for Eagle Strafing Run.
• Orbital Stratagems
  • All cooldowns are reduced by 25%
  • Orbital Laser now has increased charges from 3 to 5.
  • Added shrapnel to all Orbital Stratagems except Orbital Laser, Gatling Barrage, and Gas Strike.
• Guard Dog/Guard Dog Rover
  • You can now pet the dog.
• Supply Pack
  • Replenishes half as much as before.
  • Increased supply charges from 4 to 16(model as been updated to reflect this change).
• Ballistic Shield
  • Can now be used if backpack slot is already taken.
  • Shield will be dropped instead of being placed on back if no longer using a One Handed weapon.
• Jump Pack
  • Can now be used while diving.
• Shield Generator Pack
  • Shield size is now smaller while equipped.
  • If dropped, shield will still be active and larger in size.
• Patriot Exosuit
  • Now has it's own jump pack.
  • Can now be set to follow the Helldiver and fights on auto pilot.
• Tesla Tower
  • Now has legs to chase after friend or foe indiscriminately.
  • Will also attempt to jump over Chargers.
• Mortar Sentry
  • Is now invulnerable from damage for maximum uptime!
  • Added shrapnel.
• EMS Mortar Sentry
  • Now makes friendly sounding beeps and boops.
• Machine Gun Sentry
  • Can be picked up and relocated if Helldivers are unhappy with it's location.
• Gatling Sentry
  • Now fires counter-clockwise. Or properly clockwise? We forget. Trust us this is an important change.
• Anti-Personnel Minefield/Incendiary Mines
  • Each mine now has three charges, allowing them to be triggered multiple times.
• Shield Generator Relay
  • Has an uptime of 3 minutes.
  • Shield now slowly expands over time.
  • After 1 and 2 minutes, another shield starts to expand from the relay.
• HMG Emplacement
  • Increased total ammo from 300 to 1000.
  • Can now be equipped as a backpack.
  • While equipped as a backpack, fellow Helldivers can ride your shoulders and use the HMG while you ignore objectives and search for super samples.
• Autocannon Sentry
  • Is now significantly taller. Like really tall.
  • Added shrapnel.
  • Like whatever you're picturing, way taller.
  • It's. Huge.
• Rocket Sentry
  • Added shrapnel.

Enemies

• All enemies are now 110% louder. This ignores your current audio settings.
• Stunned Hulks now properly turn back into Bruce Banner.
• Stalkers now have a chance to drop blueprints for Dread, Despair, and Hate.
• Factory Striders now only spawn enemies every 9 months.
• Chargers now ask for permission to trample you.
• Hunters no long slow Helldivers with acid. Instead, they have been given bats and always aim for the knees.
• 1/50 Bile Titans spawn with wings and are capable of flight.
• Heavy Devastators no longer have guns. To compensate, they are now a melee enemy that dual wield shields. No the shield hasn't changed. Stop asking.
• Helldivers can now go inside Gunship spawners and undergo transformation to become a gunship. What you choose to do with this body is up to you.
• Enemies now wear name tags so you know what they're called. This helps with call outs.

Bug Fixes

• Bug fixes? Oh fuck bug fixes.

The skype call with my uncle suddenly ended there. I think we lost connection. But personally I'm not looking forward to these changes. The fact that there wasn't a single mention of transmog is infuriating. If Arrowhead keeps putting out shitty patches like this then Helldivers 2 is gonna be dead within a month.