This isnt for farming compliments but for me to write down my thoughts so i maybe can live better with them. After writing the first 2 paragraphs i have noticed that the structure of this post is fucked.
So i was bullied in middle school for having the almost the exact same legal name as the most popular drag queen in my country. I was called F@ggot, Tr@nny, ect. The whole nine yards. Back then i didnt even know that being trans was an option for me but in retrospect if i wasnt bullied (and if Gamergate didnt happen) i would have probably been able to make peace with my mind and start the processes of getting HRT much earlier.
But this didnt happen and i have been suicidal ever since. For example i have been thinking about throwing myself infront of the subway or doing a Kurt Cobain. As you can see i havent been able to do it.
In 2022 i was on DIY HRT for 2 months and that has made my conviction even more concrete. The ability to cry, to feel emotions were the mosat wonderful things i have ever felt (except maybe for Psilocybin). But my mom found my stuff and i was forced by her to go thru the official channels. I do understand her problems with DIY and she isnt transphobic or anything. Maybe just a bit uninformed. Regardless its been almost 3 years and i havent been happy for a single minute (when not under the influene) and probably the worst part is that i cant even cry anymore.
Since then i gotta a job and moved out. This is where most people would have ordered DIY again but not me. I have basically not been able to do anything but go to work and sit infront of my PC when i get home. The last month has been "better" (nowhere near good tho) and i finally was able to get an appointment at the doctor's.
But even tho i am so close to my goal, i am still afraid of basically anyone and anything. I have broken off contact with the limited amount of irl friends i had (even my childhood best friend), the only social contacts i have is chating on discord, playing a limited amount of games with a single friend and talking with coworkers.

This is my first time posting so I’m sorry if it doesn’t make much sense or I’m trauma dumping a lot also a couple trigger warnings, I’m not sure where to start off with. Me and my mom used to be pretty close I’d say up until I started high school. Middle of eighth grade I moved to a new city so I was back to trying to find some friends. I’ve been moving around since I could remember, I used to live in Germany where I moved twice, then moved to the US around the Silicon Valley, moved again, and again and again now we’re here. I wouldn’t be explaining this part of my life if I felt like it didn’t have any weight in this situation. Middle school I found a friend, me and her got pretty close, stuck through Covid together. My mom hated her and not even two years into our friendship my mom started accusing her of stealing from us, being a bad influence and overall just being trashy. Her parents were in the middle of getting a divorce and she had a lot of things going on in her life. I dyed my hair red during this time too while being friends with her, she probably was a huge influence on me but that’s also because it was covid and I was bored and who doesn’t start irrationally bleaching and coloring their hair at 14. I think my mom thought she was a bad influence on that part too because she's the one that first started off coloring her hair like purple and pink etc. My mom never of course said anything to my friend but she made sure I would hear of her disapproval concerning her bad influence in my life. I stopped being friends with her freshman year since my parents banned me from having her over or going to her house, I couldn’t drive neither could she and hanging out at each other's houses was pretty much what we did 80% of the time. I was so frustrated and felt trapped because the only friend I really cared about was someone I wasn’t allowed to associate with anymore. I told her I was done being friends with her over text and blamed it on me just being in a dark place and breaking it off. She was confused and called me a week later about something personal but I just dismissed it. Granted there were other things going on in our friendship but I felt terrible about it especially since her parents were going through that divorce and I just left during such a sensitive time. I hate to admit it but I felt so much better since I started making new friends quickly and started sitting with a new group the next day. Mostly guys and other two girls, it worked out fine for the next year. Junior year my grades started dropping so my parents got stricter, started taking my phone, looking through it, screen time etc. I felt like it was a huge invasion of privacy since my mom would look through my texts. Me and my mom also started arguing weekly about whatever it was but when I mean arguing I mean like full on yelling for two hours down in the living room with no stopping. I can’t do anything about it because whenever I say something remotely disproving her so called “facts'' since she always speaks with so much authority on subjects she wouldn’t even know about I’m the one that has to quiet down from my fathers perspective, and I know this will be mostly about my mom but me and my dad have always been close even when we’re fighting within a week we at least make it up. We play the same sports, have the same humor etc. I understand this might look like us disregarding my mom and I know she cares and loves me yet in certain circumstances she doesn’t show it so of course there’s going to be reasons as to why I’m closer with my dad than her. For example I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes in 4th grade and of course I wouldn’t expect anyone to know that when you're low you need carbs or when your blood sugar is high you need insulin but my mom to this day still does not understand it. I wouldn’t care even if it’s my friend but as my mom you take so much authority over my life and who I can’t or can hangout with but you don’t know the basics of how I have to manage my life behind closed doors in the house that you and I live in every day. That might sound overdramatic but it’s just something I think about. Also growing up, I’m an only child by the way, I would always play by myself whenever we went on vacation for example to the beach etc. it was always my dad that came and played with me in the sand while at sharing his time with me and my mom so my mom wouldn’t gets upset over him leaving her to go play with me. Even now I notice how my mom would always make snarky comments regarding how my dad always treats me like a princess and cares too much over me. Anywho, since I know this is getting pretty long I’ll try to sum it up a bit more. I started liking one of the guys from that group, I would text him on a daily basis just about whatever. We were pretty awkward in person since I’ve never really talked to that many guys and I don’t think he really had much experience either so we stuck it to mostly phones, everyone else in the group also didn’t know. Once my mom went through my phone on one occasion that night, because she would collect it on some nights and read through my messages in bed she saw one message from that guy calling my mom bipolar and me responding with something like it’s fine like I still love her she freaked out. She told me to never talk to him again and that I’m a brat for talking about my family issues outside of the family etc. I honestly had nobody to talk to. The other two girls in the group didn’t really talk to me at this time, I later became really close with one of them though more on that later and I had no other friends in that town so it was really only him. He had a plethora of family issues that I couldn’t even imagine so I felt like he understood where I was coming from at times better than other kids with American parents. Not sure I mentioned but my parents were both born in Eastern Europe and grew up during heavy communism so that definitely affected them and their parenting style. Anywho, my mom sent me a paragraph to show to him, basically telling him to never talk to me again and that he has to apologize to her etc. After a couple months I think he took me out on a date. I'm not sure what to make of it since it was pretty casual. We just got ice cream. I told my parents that he was only picking me up so we could meet with the rest of the group when of course we’re not. The rest of the guys saw us downtown and found out about it. That kinda really sucked since I’m pretty sure one of them liked me so he got really mad and it kind of ruined the group dynamic. The guy I liked stopped talking to me a couple months in since I couldn’t really do much or go anywhere and dating as a result would be hard so he stopped really talking to me it was pretty off and on since I would get mad stop texting him and then he would try to get back texting at me and once I showed him I cared he’d stop. I was so mad at him and the situation that I refrained myself from talking to him, two weeks later he killed himself. I found out because one of the guys from the group faced me and told me. I went downstairs and started crying and formed the sentences explaining it the best I could, pushing a couple words out at a time. In that very moment I felt so hurt and vulnerable by what just happened my mom responded by just looking at me and saying that he had it coming for him since he probably vaped and drank. My dad ran downstairs since he probably heard me crying and the first thing he did without asking me any questions was hug me. For the first time ever he told my mom to shut up since her trying to ask me questions about how he died just made me sob harder. Over the next week my mom was pretty lenient about letting me go out. The next week she started asking what happened to him. Me and my mom were not close at all anymore at this time. You see mothers and daughters talking about guys or what dress they’re gonna wear to the prom etc in the movies. Me and my mom are not like that. On top of that I was overwhelmed with what happened and as someone does overthinking how things could have played out differently. Anyway I refused to tell her anything saying I was too uncomfortable and over the course of the next couple months of senior year she would get progressively mad and irritated at me to the point of arguing and yelling at me for not trusting her and telling her how he killed himself. I to this day told her nothing but she stopped asking. I don’t know how my dad feeds into this since he’s always so Switzerland about everything when I know I’m right in an argument between me and my mom, however when my mom has leverage he takes her side. Anyway, the beginning of senior year was rough. I hated being in that house and really started seriously considering the only options I felt like I had at the time. I started becoming closer to that one girl from the group earlier, spoiler alert my mom strongly dislikes her now too since she’s a liar and since she’s close with her mom but not her dad that means her parents are having marital issues and therefore her mom is a cheater etc. I don’t understand how she goes from one topic to another and sorts these things into her head. She’s my only friend that I’m really close with and I have been for the past these almost two so hearing this is very disheartening since I’m sending off senior year and I can’t do this again being so close to the end of the year. I forgot to mention but during homecoming I drank for the first time and I had one of my guy friends with his girlfriend and that friend that I’m not friends with drop me off. When he dropped me off he didn’t wave to my mom so she now thinks he’s a bastard in her words and disgusting and she deserves and apology for all the times he’s been over to my house etc. which I honestly think is insane because how do you always have so many issues over my friends and why are you so obsessed with 16 year olds, like you really have beef with high school kids as a 50 year old. Anyway the reason I bring that up is because I invited him over a couple weeks ago for some drills to help one of my other friends with mma since me and him used to wrestle and my mom got mad despite him not being there for me but for my other friends benefit. I’m not sure if this makes any sense. I'm trying to explain the issue best I can without saying too much. Anyway my friend, the one that I’m friends with now, the girl and that guy from the group that didn’t wave at my mom are both Latin so my mom started calling them cheaters and dirty etc when they had nothing to do with anything. This argument spiraled over me asking my mom if I can have a sleepover with those friends since we want to bring a new series on Netflix. Also during prom I asked my parents for 10 dollars since I already had twenty in my account and I wanted to buy hair stuff for prom. They gave me the 10 and I said how I was going to catch a ride with friend A so that when friend A picked me up but friend B that I did not mention in the plan picked me up my parents started calling and texting me. To give some background friend B has been close with me since freshman year, probably the only friend my mom has liked and also the only white friend I have not sure if that has anything do with it but there’s that. She’s really sweet and has been invited over multiple times to my house by my parents, they do really like her. Anywho yet since I didn’t mention that friend B was driving the car since my parents didn’t recognize the new car and knew it wasn’t friend A driving yet assumed it was indeed friend B but since I didn’t mention that they took all the money I had in my account which was only 30 dollars but it was what I needed to get my nails and hair gloss and hair spray for prom, I just started breaking down in the middle of target. I was so excited to get my stick on nails etc since I couldn’t afford to get the acrylics since I was paying for all my prom stuff for the most part. By the way I know that the 10 dollars was initially there so I understand taking away that but the other 20 I made selling my clothes on mercari and I had nothing else like no other cash nothing that was the money I worked on to get my prom stuff. It was mostly my dad actually that got mad at this point taking my money etc and than following a got a text from my mom saying I got what I was coming for by acting the way I have been. There were 3 others with me while I was at target so having three of my friends see me breakdown from me only having 14 cents left in my account was so humiliating. I ended up looking great at prom neither less so don’t even worry about that, my hair looked great and I found some old stick-ons in my laundry room and painted them white lol a couple of them popped off during prom but whatever. This has been really long and thanks to whoever spent their time reading through all of this I’m sorry if the read is a bit of a struggle but I just don’t know what to think or do of this situation. Keep in mind I’m 18 now, never have had a boyfriend, never have do anything, kissed, even held hands romantically etc. it’s one thing you know to not care about any of that but the thing is I do and I want to experience being a teenager and going out and going on dates and not worry about my mom flipping out on one of my friends. While we were in Italy one of the tour guys told her to move on the bus to make more room for others and she started cussing him out telling him to f himself etc for telling her a paying customer where to sit. Everyone started staring at us. I did not want to be there. I just kept my head down the entire time and didn’t really talk to my mom out of embarrassment for the next two days. Also after that prom incident I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere after as a result of go to friend B's birthday bash the next day so my mom texted her without my knowledge and told her not to tell me about how I’ve been acting up and one day I’ll learn when I’m her age but it will be too late and that I don’t know what I’m doing and finishing off my apologizing on my part for my behavior and I’m the reason why I can’t go to her party. Which I find so infuriating because one of the main reasons why I don’t tell my mom anything about my personal life is because I simply don’t want her to have that control of knowing what my life is like, I probably tell the teacher I TA for more than my own biological mother. The fact that she preached family issues in the family so heavily and that you should never talk about issues to others yet goes behind my back and tells my friend that my indecent behavior is the reason why I can’t go is so beyond me because where did your ideals go that you preached so heavily about. Every time I’m around my mom especially when she has her flares of anger I just start shaking like you know when you drink something with a lot of caffeine in the morning and you don’t eat anything so mid way through the day you just start getting jittery and anxious, kind of like that. Ok I think I’m done anyway thank you for tuning in cause I really have to start studying for human geo, thanks for reading up until here 🙂.

(continuation of part 1)

III. Searching for Aerith Beyond FFVII

There were absolutely no answers in *Remake* or OG (at this point in my research, *Rebirth* wasn’t released yet), no matter how much I looked; nothing at all hinted at how Cloud could’ve obtained the memories of OG that emerge in *Remake* as MOTFs. I knew I had to look elsewhere to search for more clues, so I decided to check every piece of media ever released by SE with a mention of Cloud or Aerith in it, digging for hints in the compilation and beyond.
And boy, did I find them.
III. a) Core Worlds and Suspension Worlds
There are a couple of general *FF* rules that we need to establish before going forward.
It’s important to note that there are multiple realms in which the FF stories take place, each with a different name, history and society. This ensures that all FF stories occur separately, never intercepting or interacting— though they do have creatures like moogles and chocobos in common, as well as concepts like airships, gil, magic and some form of crystal. For simplicity, I will refer to these separate worlds in which the numbered FF games (FFI, FFII, FFIII, etc) occur as “core worlds”.
Characters from different core worlds may appear together in non-numbered *FF* games, the events of which have no impact on the core world at all: it seems that sometime after a *FF* character has reached the end of their core world’s plot-line, they may somehow be summoned to far-removed realms where they will face new adventures. I call these far-removed realms “suspension worlds”. One example of a *FF* game that takes place in a suspension world is *Dissidia Final Fantasy*, wherein characters from multiple core worlds unite to accomplish a mission as a team.
III. b) Final Fantasy Tactics
First on our list of non-compilation SE games to explore is 1997’s *Final Fantasy Tactics* (*FFT*), a game whose plot takes place in the suspension world of Ivalice. Let’s plot out the relevant events, and then analyze!
III. b) i. Fact-Finding
The main character of *FFT*, Ramza, encounters a brunette flower peddler with Aerith’s iconic, gravity-defying bangs:
\"Aeris\" in FFT's Ivalice
If you choose to buy a flower from her, she express her relief: apparently, business isn’t going well because no one is interested in flowers. The girl wistfully dreams aloud:

“When is my knight in shining armor going to take me away from here...?”

Later, Ramza and his companions encounter a mysterious machine that can summon people from across universes. The machine is activated, and a rather rude young man with spiky blonde hair appears. Cloud claims he used to be in SOLDIER, and says the last thing he remembers is “getting stuck in the current”. He looks to be disoriented and lost, and suffers from piercing headaches. Mere moments after being summoned to Ivalice, Cloud rambles:

“What’s this? My fingers are tingling… My eyes… they’re burning… Stop… stop it [Se]phiroth…”

He dashes out of the room, but not without announcing:

“I must go… must go to that place…”

Outside, Cloud encounters the brunette flower girl Ramza met earlier. She offers Cloud a flower, but he only stares at her wordlessly:

“Flower girl: Buy a flower? Only 1 gil.
Cloud: …
Flower girl: Something wrong? Do I resemble someone?”
Cloud: No… it’s nothing.”

As soon as Cloud leaves, a gang of ruffians surround the flower girl and start harassing her, demanding payment that’s apparently overdue. One of them finally calls her by her name: “Aeris”. He grabs her, insinuating that he might sexually assault her in lieu of payment. Aeris is not strong enough to push him away. That’s when Cloud returns:

“Cloud: Get your hand off her!
Thug: What did you say!?
Cloud: Didn't you hear me? Get your dirty hand off her!
[…]
Cloud, to Aeris: Go… now.”

Aeris heeds Cloud’s advice, fleeing the scene before a fight between Cloud and the thug can break out. After Cloud scares the ruffians off with the help of Ramza and his companions, he speaks once more:

“I lost… something very important… Ever since, I’ve been lost […]. What should I do? What about this pain [?] Must go… to the Promised Land.”

III. b) ii. Fact Analysis
There’s a lot to unpack here, all of which you probably clocked in your head upon reading, but let’s put it down in writing.
While *FFT* Cloud’s memory is far from perfect, the Aeris he encounters in Ivalice doesn’t recognize him at all. *FFVII Ultimania Omega* addresses this question without answering it:

“[The flower seller’s] name is Aeris, and she has the same appearance and tone of voice as the Aeris of FFVII. However, when she comes across Cloud, she does not recognize him. Could she really be the same Aerith who appears in FFVII but with memory loss, or is she a completely different character?” (“#4 Proof of Omega”, “FFVII in Other Games”, “Final Fantasy Tactics”, page 560).

Regardless of her unknown identity and inability to recognize Cloud, FFT Aeris’ fantasy of a “knight in shining armor” is quite reminiscent of the flower girl/bodyguard dynamic we’ve come to know and love. Cloud’s armor doesn’t shine, but in my opinion, if you’re looking for the dystopian, corporatocratic equivalent of a knight, you can’t get much closer than a supposed-former-SOLDIER-turned-bodyguard. Additionally, despite his rude and cold attitude toward Ramza’s gang, the urgency with which Cloud swoops in to save the flower girl from the ruffians betrays a softer, warmer side to him: the flower girl/bodyguard dynamic strikes again!
*FFT* Cloud’s dialogue borrows two lines from the speech OG Cloud makes as Aerith lies dead in his arms (disk 1, chapter 28): “My fingers are tingling. My mouth is dry. My eyes are burning!” and “What are we supposed to do? What about my pain?” You might’ve noticed that this glimpse of grief Cloud experiences in *FFT* bears a resemblance to the fourth MOTF 4 experienced by *Remake* Cloud (see section “II. a)”). Could it be that *FFT* Cloud and *Remake* Cloud have something in common?
Shortly after being summoned to Ivalice, *FFT* Cloud declares that he must go to “that place”, a mysterious line that is later elucidated when he tells Ramza that he must go to the Promised Land and find the “very important” thing he’s lost. The Promised Land is the Cetra culture’s afterlife, meaning *FFT* Cloud is looking for someone who’s died, someone “very important” to him. OG suggests this is none other than Aerith:

“Cait Sith, reading Cloud’s fortune: You will find [what] you pursue. However, you will lose the most precious thing” (disk 1, chapter 16, English translation by Kotaku’s “Let’s Mosey: A Slow Translation of Final Fantasy Seven: Part Eight” by Tim Rogers, 9:42-9:52).
“Cloud, after seeing Aerith’s hand reach for him through the Lifestream: … I think I'm beginning to understand.
Tifa: What?
Cloud: An answer from the Planet… the Promised Land... I think I can meet her... there” (disk 3, chapter 3).

Finally, let’s try to understand where on the OG timeline Cloud was summoned to this suspension world from and what he remembers. His comment about getting stuck in a current has to be about the Lifestream; apparently, on top of its atemporal nature, it can act as a conduit to other worlds. One only enters the Lifestream if they’ve somehow fallen into the core of the planet or once they’ve passed away and returned to the planet. Both scenarios merit consideration.
On the one hand, it’s possible that Cloud was summoned to Ivalice after he and Tifa fall into the core of the planet: this point in the FFVII OG timeline occurs after Aerith’s death and shortly before Cloud finds out he was never SOLDIER, which matches the gaps in FFT Cloud’s memory quite well. However, this scenario does not account for the vagueness with which FFT Cloud remembers Aerith and her death. Most importantly, Cloud’s realization that he can find Aerith in the Promised Land occurs much later in the game (FFVII OG, disk 3, chapter 3) than when he falls into the Lifestream with Tifa (FFVII OG, disk 2, chapter 8).
On the other hand, FFT Cloud’s vague yet persistent memories of Aerith suggest that he’s been summoned to Ivalice after his eventual death post-OG, but also that he’s lost quite a large portion of his memories. His incomplete memory loss is likely the result of Cloud’s individuality’s erosion by the Lifestream after death, which we discussed in section “II. a) ii.”. We can therefore surmise that by the time he is summoned to Ivalice from the Lifestream, Cloud has been dead for long enough that the Lifestream eroded a large portion of the memories of his lifetime. This post-death scenario is likelier than the first. The memory of Cloud’s realization that he was never SOLDIER must be gone, which explains why he claims otherwise upon being summoned to Ivalice. Contrastingly, vestiges of Cloud’s OG memories of Aerith cling to his soul, even after others have been wiped clean. Could this be a consequence of their soulmate bond? Could the strength of Cloud’s love and grief for Aerith have made his memories of her stronger and more difficult for the Lifestream to erode? Could it be both?
One thing is clear: Aerith is of fundamental importance to Cloud, even when he can’t quite remember her. In fact, the only other character he remembers and/or mentions in *FTT* is Sephiroth. It does make sense that the memories of those who have marked one’s soul forevermore would be the most difficult for the Lifestream to erode.
III. c) Dissidia Final Fantasy
The next stop on our travels through suspension worlds is 2008’s Dissidia Final Fantasy! Now strap in, because here’s where things get really serious.
III. c) i. Fact Finding
In the suspension world of *Dissidia Final Fantasy* (*DFF*), the goddess of harmony Cosmos and the god of discord Chaos are engaged in a never-ending cycle of conflict. Both deities need warriors to fight on their behalf, so they recruit core world characters into their respective teams by summoning them to *DFF*. Some of these summoned characters are *FFIV*’s Cecil, *FFVI*’s Terra, *FFVII*’s Sephiroth, *FFX*’s Tidus, and of course, *FFVII*’s Cloud. The warriors find themselves in the suspension world of *DFF* with no memories of their core worlds’ plotlines. However, as the *DFF* adventure progresses, they are able to recover pieces of their memories here and there. It isn’t clear how much they come to remember. Ultimately, the warriors hope to return home to their core worlds by fighting in this war and seeing to its end.
Cloud is summoned to *DFF* as a warrior on the side of Chaos, who seeks to destroy all existence. Sephiroth is also on Chaos’ side, meaning the two are teammates despite being enemies in their core world of *FFVII*. It just so happens that Tifa is a summoned warrior in *DFF* too, though she’s fighting on Cosmos’ side. Intrigued by her vague familiarity, Sephiroth hypothesizes that killing Tifa will bring back his memories of OG’s plot line: before long, the masamune wielder finds Tifa alone and corners her into a one-on-one fight. Thankfully, Cloud swoops in and saves her before Sephiroth can do any harm. Tifa is thankful for Cloud’s help, though confused that Cloud would elect to assist her and turn against a fellow warrior of Chaos; she doesn’t remember what Sephiroth and Cloud mean to each other in OG. In fact, Tifa doesn’t even remember Cloud’s name or that they share a core world, though Cloud feels somewhat familiar to her. For his part, Cloud at least remembers that Tifa is someone he cares about from his core world. As Tifa thanks Cloud for saving her from Sephiroth, something she says elicits an odd reaction from the warrior of Chaos:

“Tifa: The way you showed up and fought that guy off. It was a pretty cool thing to watch. You were like a hero, charging in to save the girl.
Cloud gasps at her words. She doesn’t notice” (Dissidia 012: Treachery of the Gods, report 5: “Unexpected Fulfillment 2”).

On another note, Cloud knows he will have to fight Tifa once the Cosmos-Chaos conflict comes to a head, as they are on opposing teams. He thinks to himself:

“Once [her] memories return, [she]’ll lose the will to fight just like I have. So... Before that can happen, I have to act...” (Dissidia 012: Treachery of the Gods, report 5: “Unexpected Fulfillment 2”).

In order to end the cycle of the conflict and to avoid fighting Tifa, Cloud decides to try and defeat Chaos himself. Predictably, Cloud is no match for the deity. As he dies, Cloud pleads the following to the goddess Cosmos:

“Cosmos, goddess of harmony. If you can hear me, listen to my plea. I beg you. Save her. Save my friend… Tifa.”

Cosmos hears him and responds immediately:

“Cosmos: An end to this conflict, and a life spared? This is your heart's desire? If your will remains unchanged, I shall bring you here when the battle draws to a close. Cloud. My chosen" (Dissidia 0.13: Treachery of the Gods, report 7: “Unexpected Fulfillment 3”).

Cloud’s wish is granted by Cosmos: the first phase of the conflict ends without Tifa getting hurt, and she is sent away from the suspension world of DFF before the second phase begins. Cloud is saved from death, and Cosmos enlists him into her team of warriors for phase two: this time, Cloud is fighting on the good side.
Now we enter phase two of the war. Cosmos tells her team of ten core world warriors that in order to save the world from Chaos’ destruction, they must collect what she describes as crystals containing the power to persist through darkness. I call these the “*DFF* crystals”. There are ten *DFF* crystals in total: one for every warrior on Cosmos’ group to find. To obtain their crystal, each hero must overcome a trial that will confront them with whatever personal struggle they faced in their core world; if they prove themselves worthy, their *DFF* crystal will appear to them. On one hand, some warriors’ *DFF* crystals simply take the form the crystals found in their core world. For example, Onion Knight’s *DFF* crystal looks to be nothing more than one of *FFIII*’s elemental crystals, which hold little to no personal significance to him. On the other hand, some warriors’ *DFF* crystals symbolize something more personal to their respective warriors. For instance, Cecil’s *DFF* crystal looks to be one of *FFIV*’s dark crystals, which specifically represent the dichotomy of light and darkness he struggles with in his core world’s plot-line. Cosmos describes the quest for the *DFF* crystals as follows:

“Cosmos: The crystals embody the strength to face despair. With ten gathered, there is hope yet to save the world. The path to your crystal will be perilous... and different for each and every one of you. But you must believe in and follow your own path. Even if you know not where that path leads" (Dissidia 013: Light to All, prologue: “A Final Hope”).

From this exposition, simply keep in mind that: Cloud must find his crystal by overcoming a personal trial, and his crystal may have the appearance of an object in OG that’s important to him.
Once the team is debriefed on their mission, Cloud remains reticent to fight; he doesn’t much like the mysterious nature of this conflict. Not knowing exactly what they’re all fighting for is clearly bothersome to the swordsman, and the idea of thoughtlessly engaging in battles leaves a bad taste in his mouth. Fellow warrior Firion understands that without a reason to fight, Cloud’s heart just isn’t in it. He imparts upon Cloud that he must have a dream he’s fighting to protect, something he wants to see come true, to motivate him to stop Chaos from destroying all existence. Unfortunately, Cloud doesn’t have a dream to preserve, or can’t find one for himself:

“Cloud: I've looked, but I'm still empty-handed. And without a dream, what do you suppose I should do? […] Maybe what I'm looking for... isn't here” (Dissidia 0.13: Light to All, chapter 1: “Beyond Doubt”, “Gateway of Good and Evil”).

Another fellow warrior, Cecil, expresses worry for Cloud, whose response evokes the main theme of FFVII OG:

“Cecil: Everyone's worried, Cloud. But... Do you shoulder a larger concern?
Cloud: Concern... Maybe a sense of loss" (Dissidia 0.13: Light to All, chapter 1: “Beyond Doubt”, “Beyond the Continent”).

Whatever Cloud is looking for “isn’t [there]”, and he feels “a sense of loss”: Cloud’s motivating dream has been lost to him. This is later reasserted in a conversation with Terra, another warrior of Cosmos:

“Terra: And you, Cloud... What's your dream?
Cloud: I've lost mine" (Dissidia 0.13: Light to All, chapter 3: “The Chosen Battle”, “Gateway of True Intent”).

Later, Cloud encounters and fights Sephiroth, who is still a part of Chaos’ team. Sephiroth is defeated, but not before he’s taunted Cloud with his habitual puppet talk. However, Cloud remains strong and refutes Sephiroth’s manipulation, asserting that only he can determine his own path. This must’ve been Cloud’s personal trial, because his crystal appears at that very moment: it is a small, light green orb that looks like materia from his core world. Having pocketed his crystal, Cloud decides he must find his own reason to fight. Interestingly, his search is depicted as intertwined with Fate:

“Cloud: Even if I have my doubts... I have to find my own answer […] Until then, I'll keep fighting.
Narration: The warrior has vowed to keep fighting— and keep fighting he will […]. Etched in destiny, his quest for answers continues on” (Dissidia 0.13: Light to All, chapter 1: “Beyond Doubt”, “Gulg Gateway”).

Later, the nemeses meet again in a segment called “Recurring Tragedy”. Their interactions here are particularly interesting. Sephiroth speaks of making Cloud suffer through despair and pain as though referencing their history together: 

"Sephiroth: This disease called hope is eating you alive. The world of suffering was born out of such half-baked ideals.
Cloud: If that's the case, I have to endure the suffering. There's no moving on if I run from it.
Sephiroth: If that is what you wish for, you shall drown in the pain. I'll lead you to true despair. [My] shadow is burned into your heart. We'll meet again, Cloud. I'll keep coming back— as long as you are who you are."
Sephiroth disappears. Cloud looks out into the distance before the scene ends.
“Cloud: No thanks. The one I really want to meet is…” (Dissidia 013: Light to All, epilogue: “Conclusion of a Cycle”, “Recurring Tragedy”).

This final line suggests Cloud has finally found a reason to fight: he wants to meet someone unspecified.
Finally, after the war has ended, we arrive at the final cutscene of *DFF*. I will let you read the full script, with notes added by me **in bold** behind the spoiler censors. Please do not read my notes if you do not wish to encounter spoilers for *FFI*, *FFII, FFIII, FFIV, FFV, FFVI, FFVIII, FFIX or FFX*:

“[The] heroes are all standing together in a grassy field with a forest behind them. Birds are chirping, the sun is shining brightly, and the wind is blowing gently. The heroes look around them in awe. They're all holding their crystals.
WoL: The battle has come to an end...
Tidus notices that his crystal has begun to emanate a blue glow.>! His crystal is a movie sphere from his core world of FFX**: a capsule containing sounds and images that people record for later viewing. Tidus’ crystal likely represents the specific movie sphere recorded by his love interest Yuna, which revealed that she’d loved him from the beginning**.!<
Tidus: Gotta go, huh...
The blue glow transfers to him as well. He turns to look at the others
[…] Tidus grins at the others, then turns and runs toward a nearby lake. He leaps into it in a manner reminiscent of [the events] of FFX. He vanishes as he descends toward the lake.
Zidane: We're not vanishing. We're returning—
Zidane is sitting on a tree limb as he says this. His crystal begins to glow gold, as does he. His crystal is shaped like a highly important ‘progenitor of all life’ crystal from his core world of FFIX**.**
Zidane: — to where we're supposed to be.
Zidane spins around the tree limb with the use of his tail and launches toward the sun. He's lost to view.
A white feather then drifts down from that direction and Squall catches it. The feather is reminiscent of his love Rinoa Heartilly, whose character symbol is a white feather. In fact, Squall’s crystal looks like a mix of his revolver gunblade from FFVIII and Rinoa’s feather motif. [Squall glows blue.]
Squall: Perhaps we can go on a mission together again.
Squall vanishes.
Cloud is then visible, standing in [a] flower field. The flowers are white and yellow. Cloud has his crystal, a light green materia from his core world of FFVII**, in hand.**
Cloud: [(Chuckles shortly, like a scoff)] Not interested.
Cloud walks off into the flower field, gaining a green glow. He vanishes.
A snowflake then falls into Terra's right hand as her crystal begins to glow pink. The flames drawn on her crystal represent her power, which is connected to the element of fire: her character arc in FFVI**.**
Terra: I think I've learned how to keep going. Thank you— and take care.
Terra glows pink and then vanishes. Bartz throws a stick. He's glowing pink as well.
Bartz: When you're having the most fun, that's when time always flies. His crystal is the Adamantite from his core world of FFV**.**
Bartz vanishes.
Cecil: It's mine to pass on—
A moon appears behind Cecil and goes through its phases as he begins to glow blue. His crystal has shadowed and illuminated parts, representing the duality of his character, which is central to his personal arc in his core world of FFIV**. It also represents his brother Golbez, who has chosen the darkness. Cecil considers his familial bond with Golbez his guiding light and hopes to be with him someday**.
Cecil: — this strength I've gained from everyone.
Cecil vanishes.
Onion Knight hugs his crystal and looks up toward the sky. His crystal is shaped like those found in his core world of FFIII.
Onion Knight: Everyone... thank you!
OK briefly glows blue and then vanishes.
There are wild roses at Firion's feet. He and WoL are looking toward the sky. WoL suddenly begins walking away while Firion looks down and sees the roses.
Firion: This isn't the end. Another dream is waiting to begin.
His crystal is the color of the wild roses that were at the center of his dream and of his motivation to fight Chaos. The roses are also the emblem of the Rebel Army he was a part of in his core world of FFII. His crystal is shaped like Pandaemonium, the final dungeon of his core world story. Firion gains a violet glow and then vanishes.
WoL is walking through the field and then comes to a stop. He's looking at something.
WoL: May the light forever shine upon us.”

As you can see, everyone’s crystal is very important to the story of their core world, and in the cases of at least Tidus, Squall, Terra and Cecil, the crystals represent something very personal. What about Cloud and his crystal, then? What about the dream he lost and the person he wants to meet? Let’s begin analyzing to answer these questions.
III. c) ii. Fact Analysis
Firstly, it’s clear to me that the Cloud that appears in *DFF* is a post-OG Cloud, given how many plot points from OG he interacts with. I’m reticent to say whether or not this post-OG Cloud is dead like in *FFT*, as he recovers many of his memories of OG during *DFF* and there is no evidence of him having passed away and joined the Lifestream.
The second thing I’d like to point out is Cloud’s strange reaction when Tifa compared him to a hero who swoops in and saves the girl from the bad guy. Cloud gasps, indicating that her words mean something to him; the trope Tifa references must therefore be included somewhere in the *FFVII* OG plot-line. Some of you are surely ahead of me by now, having realized that only the tragic antithesis of this trope appears in OG: Cloud is unable to save Aerith from Sephiroth (disk 1, chapter 28). Whether or not *DFF* Cloud remembers Aerith herself at this point, it’s clear he recalls the pain and guilt of losing Aerith to Sephiroth.
Next, let’s address Cloud’s lost dream: to meet an unspecified person. It seems Cloud is aware at this point that in OG, he was eternally separated from the person he dreams of meeting. So, who was he separated from in his core world? Who can he never meet again, even if his team of warriors defeat Chaos and Cloud returns to the realm of *FFVII*? There are a few options —his mother, his father, Zack, Jessie, Biggs, Wedge, and any other person he knew who died—, but the sheer narrative weight that Aerith’s untimely death carries makes it clear who he truly wants to meet. This is corroborated by Cloud’s “I think I can meet her… there” line in OG (disk 3 chapter 3), by *FFT* Cloud’s search for Aerith during his appearance in Ivalice, and by Cloud’s strange reaction to Tifa’s comparing him to a hero who swoops in and saves the girl from the bad guy. All the available evidence suggests that Cloud’s dream is indeed to reunite with Aerith, and that this dream is “lost” to him because she was killed by Sephiroth (disk 1, chapter 28). This would also explain the title of the *DFF* segment “Recurring Tragedy”, since as we all know, the ultimate tragedy of *FFVII* OG is Aerith’s death. Considering Sephiroth was the one to take Aerith away from Cloud, Sephiroth’s threats of drowning him in despair in “Recurring Tragedy” only solidify this interpretation of Cloud’s lost dream.
Finally, we arrive at the ending cutscene. Cosmos’ warriors return to where they belong to try and accomplish whatever dream they held as motivation during the Cosmos-Chaos conflict, each carrying their *DFF* crystal. Cloud is shown standing in a field of white and yellow flowers and walking deeper into it with a light green materia in hand. Why was a white and yellow flower field chosen to represent *DFF* Cloud’s dream? The answer is obvious. White and yellow flowers symbolize Aerith: she sold Cloud a yellow blossom upon first meeting him in OG (disk 1, chapter 1), and her yellow and white flowerbed cushioned Cloud’s fall when the two reunited in the Sector 5 church (disk 1, chapter 4). What’s more, we have the [iconic credits video of the original cut of *Advent Children*](https://youtu.be/PqJ8Y8Nd9KE?si=O\_QolO-iNsDmZWR6) to refer to, wherein Cloud is seen driving near flower fields. Aerith stands there (3:20), seemingly waiting for him. Here’s what Nomura had to say about this credits scene:

"[...] we filmed the video for the ending credits in Hawaii. There are fields of flowers on both sides of the road, and the colors —yellow and white— are the same as the flowers in Aerith's church […]. With Aerith, 'flowers' have been her image throughout the series” (FFVII Reunion Files, “Countdown to Reunion”, “Stories from CG Production”, page 87).

Even in the Advent Children Complete cut of the film, where Aerith is not shown standing in the field, the flowers and their symbolism of Aerith remain. That being so, it’s more than fair to say that the white and yellow flowers in DFF’s ending cutscene serve as yet another confirmation that Cloud’s dream is to be with Aerith.
With all of this established, we can address the nature of Cloud’s *DFF* crystal. As we established, every core world has its own version of a crystal, each possessing a distinct appearance, function and meaning. Materia are the crystals of *FFVII*, so one could be satisfied by the proposition that Cloud’s *DFF* crystal is simply meant to represent a random materia. However, I think Cloud’s crystal is specifically the White Materia, as it represents Aerith’s sacrifice, her importance to the plot and what she died fighting for. If any one object symbolizes her death, it’s the White Materia; it’s even given closeups during the [event](https://youtu.be/Wx3duFYCcho?si=Zg332l6dMLwpZMF2&t=150) (2:33-3:02). Besides, unlike any other materia in *FFVII*, the White Materia is known to glow a light green when Holy has been activated:

“Bugenhagen: If [the prayer] reaches the planet, the White Materia will begin to glow a pale green” (FFVII OG, disk 2, chapter 15).

Here are pictures of the materia so you can compare for yourself:
https://preview.redd.it/0qtumfeyfq0d1.jpg?width=386&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3995f010738c83fca0c5842a0564d0a9ad206dfd
https://preview.redd.it/0kj525tzfq0d1.jpg?width=1144&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=575573ef1d2c937635cf569d4a376886a24b384c
Cloud's DFF Crystal
Cloud’s DFF crystal
So far, in both suspension world games we’ve examined (*FFT* and *DFF*), Cloud is searching for Aerith. As a final note on *DFF*, it may interest you to know that codirector of the *Remake* trilogy Toriyama was actually a writer for *DFF*: he may have carried some themes from *DFF* to *Remake*…
III. d) Detour: The Final Fantasy 30th Anniversary Farewell Exposition
Before we hop onto the next suspension world, let’s return to ours for a quick detour: the 2018 *Final Fantasy* 30th Anniversary Expo. Themed with farewells and tragedy, this expo showcased the heartbreaking goodbyes featured in different *FF* games. Artwork, clips, quotes and images aplenty here! As the highly anticipated *Remake* was going to be coming out approximately a year and a half later, the *FFVII* section of the expo featured a few sneak peek *Remake* designs. This means the expo was at least partly curated with the *Remake* trilogy in mind; there could be interesting material in the *FFVII* section of the expo related to *Remake*. Let’s dive in!
Unsurprisingly, the focus of the *FFVII* section is Cloud and Aerith, since she is the loved one he lost in OG. Zack is also given a mention, however Aerith was the glaringly central star of the show. To showcase how important Aerith’s farewell in particular was to the expo, the *FFVII* portion was introduced by a photo of Cloud lowering Aerith into her watery grave and a video of her tragic death:
Final Fantasy 30th Anniversary Farewell Exposition, FFVII Introduction
The description under the video screen reads:

“She was gone in the blink of an eye. But the pain never went away.
Aerith awoke the ultimate magic to protect the planet and the people she loved. Yet her life came to a sudden end at the hands of Sephiroth, a man bent on seeing the world destroyed. Even the usually stoic Cloud couldn’t hide his grief at the unexpected death of an irreplaceable companion. ‘My fingers are tingling. My mouth is dry. My eyes are burning.’ True words, revealing Cloud’s deep sorrow” (Final Fantasy 30th Anniversary Exposition).

Conveniently enough for us, the expo’s tagline is “Who is the person you want to meet again?” Given that Aerith holds the spotlight in the FFVII section of the expo, it’s clear who SE is telling us Cloud wants to reunite with. Recall Cloud’s unfinished line in DFF: “The one I really want to meet is..." (Dissidia 013: Light to All, epilogue: “Conclusion of a Cycle”, “Recurring Tragedy”). We theorized that he must be referring to Aerith, and now, we are certain.
The expo also had pamphlet descriptions of the farewells depicted. Here is the general summary of *FFVII*‘s farewell story according to that pamphlet:

“The story follows the lead character Cloud, but it is the heroine, Aerith, who opens Cloud’s eyes and helps bring him closer to understanding the mystery that is his past. Through her, we draw closer to the truth of the story.
This scene, in which the heroine Aerith is lost, is easily the most shocking and tragic in the story. No one expected to say goodbye to such a major character in the middle of the story. Rumors of a secret way to revive Aerith spread, and it was clear players were having a hard time saying goodbye to her too. Even now, twenty years later, it still feels like a shocking turn of events” (Final Fantasy 30th Anniversary Exposition Pamphlet, page 36).

It’s interesting that SE would mention the rumors of Aerith’s revival circulated by players back in 1997, especially as fans were awaiting Remake’s release…
In light of everything we’ve analyzed so far, it can be said that between *FFT* (1997) and this farewell expo (2018), SE has consistently demonstrated that reuniting with Aerith is post-OG Cloud’s goal. That’s a period of over two decades— two decades of wishing, seeking, longing in real-world time for this character. This is a huge long-term commitment for SE to make, and you can bet the devs don’t take it lightly. Again and again, once the events of the OG game have ended, Cloud is shown to desire a reunion with Aerith. This ever-present and ever-insistent theme will become very important to us later in this post.

Hello everyone, so this is my first post here or anywhere regarding Witch subjects... I tried to not make this a book but please understand this has been building so if you find the time to help me i would greatly appreciate your time and insight/expertise in to this matter.. that being said... I do not know what I am or if I would "belong" within this community... but I know that I have to be something considering certain things I have and or have experienced... "coincidences" can only happen for so long. also please understand i am NOT intending on upsetting or trying to offend anyone here so please treat me as someone who has not only not much idea of what he is talking about in most of this stuff but also im not sure aside from obvious larger topics im not sure how not to offend anyone so please bear this in mind... so lets give you the run down
a little bit of context... my dad also informed me that he could do the same with weather as below when he was young before his "pineal gland calcified" but his level of control was "tomorrow it is going to rain (or snow) so bad that we cant go to school tomorrow" or we cant go to work what have you and literally the next day it was so bad the next day school or work in the military whatever was cancelled sometimes until the weekend...he also had/has some other small abilities but the way he described it to me when i told him about the dream below is i guess his mom was "full blood" but suppressed it all her life then when she got with my grandpa dad would have been considered "half blood" and for me all things considered he said i would be a "quarter blood" which in this space would help me understand why i can do similar things but i have better talents in dreams and less strength in weather and so on...and on my moms side they are more spirit sensitive so i cant really communicate generally but i get strong feelings of energy around me at times or in a home you know and also in dreams which im definitely stronger with i have 100% had some... "nightmares" but as you will read below dreams are important to me because generally when i pray or ask for a sign or what have you i trust a dream the most because thats what i feel aside from a lucid dream that i cant control so getting an answer or sign from a dream is a bit more compelling than the "i have just enough money for this its meant to be" or that random act of someone or something in waking life...
I am in my early 20's and so far in life I exhibit the following:
Mild control over the weather with a simple statement, (since around maybe my teens or a little younger I could simply say " its going to rain later" or tomorrow or what have you or i would say "i hope it rains later" or tomorrow and i have gotten microbursts and sometimes even really bad storms there have even been times i got a little bit of rain and said "come on thats not all you got show me more show me lightning and thunder and more rain" and within half an hour or less sometimes a few seconds it would all pick back up again much stronger) (even my wife would get upset and say "make it stop!" because i proved this ability to her much like my dad did his buddies so she would tell me to stop the rain and all that xD)
Since i was very young almost as long as i can remember i have premonition dreams at random and this had led me to at MANY points in my life of say Deja Vu they have been accurate down to the minute detail ( i couldnt remember the dream before it happened only as that moment in the dream started or up to 1-3 minutes before that part of the dream started in real life... also when i have a "deja vu" moment as that happens the dream is recalled from memory and with almost perfect accuracy when the dream is finally recalled i can almost pinpoint exactly when i had the dream weather i dreamed it 5 months ago or 8 years ago)
i seem to be able to as i get close to someone read their mind (its not perfect and its not guaranteed... but for example when me and my wife slept in the same bed we got to the point where she knew that i finished alot of her sentences and not just in the cute way i mean before or as she thought them without speaking, when she would say something in her mind but not out loud and so on so she would play a game with me it was called "what color am i thinking of" so i thought about it and i would get an image in my mind that was filled in with a color and i would answer and i was right... after about 2-5 minutes of being right and answering very quickly she is competitive so she made it harder and said "what color and shape am i thinking of" i would tell her and continued on with as i gave the answer i would give the next and the next without her having to ask for them it evolved into me telling her what color and shape and why she was thinking about it or even when she tried to cheat and randomly thought of say a purple elephant or a pink dragon i got the shape and color and answered correctly what creature and color she was thinking of and she seemed to get creeped out but this happened most of the time at night as everything was quiet and we were laying in bed talking and hanging out before sleep with all the lights off) (she isnt very spiritual very much a grounded in reality yes believes in god but gods got bigger fish to fry then helping me mindset but this is also why it really creeped her out at times considering my accuracy and speed of my "guessing" and was always right)
i think that i very recently... and for the first time in my life... accidentally dreamwalked... long story short im not with my wife at the moment alot of bad stuff and bad timing stuff happened in my life and we werent great financially so we lost the house and are living separately with our parents and all of sudden after getting married recently she 180'd me and now wants divorce... so im going through that and we are going through no-contact at the moment i dont really message her but if she messages me then i wait awhile and reply... but... its been a few months since this started and all the tarot i see on tiktok say the same things and right now if tarot is generally trusted... it seems she is now at the point of recognizing what she did and i should be expecting contact soon for reconciliation... (i just wanted to put this here because i didnt want everyone only saying oh you dreamt of her because you miss her) but anyways... for a month or 2 i successfully pushed her energy away and was actually doing alot better.. yeah i miss her but im my own person and i have learned alot through this... but recently... as i started to stop believing in tarot because she wasnt reaching out or doing anything... i all of a sudden had a dream i dont remember what happened and in the dream it was super blurry but it was very emotional... and as i had that when i woke up all of a sudden she was the only thing on my mind all the work i did getting over things was gone... and i still cant get her off my mind a week ish later... and then after that dream i started having more dreams of her being with her and remembering older dreams i forgot about in these few months before this most recent dream with all the emotion... and the only way i can interpret this is she is letting the walls down... and subconsciously re-opened her mind to me.. and now im feeling the emotions at times of her.... for example the other day i was at work at my new job perfectly calm no stress actually having a good day but OUT OF NOWHERE i got this MASSIVE amount of panic shooting through my body so bad that i really wanted to vomit.... and thats not my response to panic and i had no reason to panic... again i think im reacting to her emotions or her containers in her mind of emotions...
but here is the thing for dream walking... and this will probably be the last thing for now... this is what i wrote in my notes app (names redacted and edited for here) after i woke up...
I’m in a mall a very large mall… and I just purchased a dog from one of the stores a larger dog I can’t tell if it was a type of rottie? (my wifes old family dog that meant alot to both of them) But she was super sweet and well trained super responsive she could follow me with a snap like my dog (each time the dog veered away i snapped my fingers and she came right back walking at my side) and as she is following me I did notice there were multiple dogs in this mall type place with other people…(this was weird and the mall i felt like i recognized it but the layout didnt seem like any mall i had been too and i knew it was a huge mall) the dream fast forwarded and now im in a back mall sort of cylinder block stairwell with my new dog and a dog came up to me and I was thinking “oh hey look a dog I can pet” but when I went to pet him I saw on his vest “oh for PETES sake” I asked him if Pete was his name and before he could react I realized there was no person with him and that this was a service dog looking for someone to help his owner I then asked “does your person need help? Let’s go buddy” and he took off checking multiple times if I was following he then led me to the bathrooms area where 2 other people where shouting into a hole in the ground presumably trying to help this dog and the person was on the other side of where this vent attached too I looked around and noticed there was a stair case down to the men and women’s restrooms but the hole itself that the 2 other people were at was a type of floor vent to the maintenance room in between the restrooms so I went to the men’s restroom and asked the cleaning guys if it was possible anyone collapsed in the maintenance room they kind of laughed and ignored me and I didn’t know what to do since there were multiple people in the men’s restroom and no one was calling for help I left the bathroom thinking I couldn’t go into the women’s room because im a guy and the dream then fast forwarded to me being in the women’s room and seeing multiple people but no one needing help I left and the dream fast forwarded again and i guess i really had to pee in real life so I was searching in the dream for the bathroom and I saw myself go into the men’s room but it turned out to be the women’s room again… still multiple women in the restroom paying me no mind some looked at me and focused on me but didnt say or do anything just continued walking and talking to other women but I had to leave to go find the men’s room and as I did I kept getting lost in the vastness of this women’s restroom and couldn’t find the door (keep in mind at this point in the dream it was like the 3rd time i was in here and found the doorway out each and every time pretty easily except this last time) when I finally found the door I opened it and multiple women were coming in and leaving at the same time and I said out loud “ why does the women’s room have to be such a fucking maze” and as I said that the women in front of me had finished leaving but I was now stuck in place (like i wasnt allowed to leave the bathroom) the sight before me was kind of off or...blurry? ( it was like a 2 step up to all the sinks and mirrors like a little stage thing with a door leading outside to the right of the sinks and the door back to the mall just to my immediate right) and it was still the bathroom but as it came into focus a previous memory of (my wife) was to the left a memory where she is bent down hands on knees (yes fully clothed) (in previous dreams it has felt like whenever her body is in that position whichever way she is facing it’s like an arrow) and it was facing right so I started to look right and I saw (my wife)… the real (wife)… to the right of her was a door seemingly to the outside I didn’t look out of it much but I think I saw the silhouette of her mom maybe kind of holding the door open to the outside of the mall and the parking lot near by but the light outside was brighter than usual really green grass blue partly cloudy sky nice trees i think in the backround and some cars parked near the door... as soon as I saw (wife) she was beautiful the world around me slowed those walking in and out or around the bathroom slowed down to a stop in place as did time itself… she was in darker blue jeans like my dark blue Levi’s I don’t remember her shoes maybe adidas? White and black ones? She was wearing a very nice… very nice on her grey sweater long sleeve her hair was (same color as now and style) as i saw her i just couldnt stop looking as she was so pretty and to see her again seemingly in person i was happy... as time stood still around me she saw me too and those eyes looked into my soul (as usual…the slow and stop of time didnt effect her or me) a look came over her face at first i felt fear because I’m in the women’s room and maybe she thinking’s I followed her whatever (same deal as "oh no im graduating today and i forgot all my clothes!") but the feeling I got from her face was almost like… her face as content/happy and the feeling felt like “I miss you“ maybe? "I love you I’m happy you are here” and it felt like surprise almost as if she was surprised to see me maybe in her dream? in my body in the dream i felt MASSIVE panic and fear which started as she looked at me and as she looked at me her face kinda said like "WTH?!" maybe? I don’t know for sure but when i tried to read the air... the overall dead space thats where i felt the calm and the possible i miss you energy and want to work on things but it could be my own hope im not sure... but it seemed mutual...but I know that as I saw her I got to see what I felt every time she looked at me lovingly in real life... maybe i felt both of our emotions as we each looked at each other but each time it was like time stood still… the day was brighter… if there is one thing for sure the way she looked at me in the dream didnt seem like hatred or divorce it honestly seemed like confusion or "HOW ARE YOU HERE..."but i dont think we weren’t talking about divorce anymore and we’re rekindling or reconciling or we already had done all of that because in the dream I just felt love even on the other side of the room I felt her embrace and her love… I dreamt of her twice in a 1 and a 1/2 hour nap and to me this was a really long dream that was already shared with another i didnt remember in a single hour and a half this is a kind of dream i would have in like a 4-8 hour sleep minimum not an hour to an hour and a half...
and i dont like naps i never take them but as i have grown and learned it seems like every time i take a nap because im almost forced too something big spiritually happens to me like this... in the dream it just seemed like... the panic to me read as like... lets say you have a fear of mannequins but you go into a clothing store and you LEGIT see one move and you point and say "...thats...NOT a mannequin" you know that sort of fear of realization? when we saw each other in the dream it felt VERY mutual that we saw each other and just KNEW "...thats NOT... a dream character..." almost like a "how the HELL are you here!?" i dont know if i dream walked into a dream because she turned out to be dreaming at the same time in a nap (5/12/2024 when this happened) maybe thats when her mind opened more to me because i dreamwalked into her subconscious as she was awake? i dont know i really need help with this....and when i explained it to my dad... he thinks... weather it was a dream or her subconscious or maybe both he thinks that the mall represents her mind her... mind palace... and the mall is big and vast but with her poor....experiences in life childhood and all that he thinks the stores in the mall represent "containers" for chunks of her life or bad memories and or good ones... and that as i was in the cinderblock staircase that was me kind of being led by my spirit guide further in to "the maze" closer to "the center" to (wife) and the service dog named pete was HER spirit guide leading me to her quicker... and each time the dream started to take over for me i was guided by the "fast forwards" like "no dont go you still have to see this dont miss this" which is why i couldnt leave the bathroom until i woke up after seeing her sometime later... and my dad also thinks the people i saw in the mall with other dogs and in the bathrooms and all that werent just dream character but passing thoughts in her conscious or unconscious mind as i was observing if im dreaming that would make the most sense to me... and the fact that some of them looked at me and observed me but werent mean or horrible or whatever to me means that she is talking about me but maybe not as badly as i may think... because hopefully the reconciliation coming up soon... i dont know... and one of the reasons i dont think this was a basic dream.... is because when she saw me or when others saw me it wasnt a normal dream giving me what i would expect...i expected hatred or hurt from her i expected screaming and anger from the women seeing a man in their restroom and all that stuff but all in all it was like i was muted and blended in to everyone except... (wife)... the owner of the dream or mind or sub-conscious i was in...
again i know this is long but if anyone could help me understand what i am if anything and maybe if anyone could help me gain more control on this possible dreamwalking ability i may have just manifested naturally because i have no idea what im doing i was raised in a very openminded christian household and i dont even know how to google any of this without finding fan wikis for witch tv shows... i want to learn and strengthen this skill because... if im being honest... maybe if i could understand more about what the true cause of her hurt is (everything she is doing to me now falls in to her patterns of attachment including the hiding away and acting like its not her attachment that is making her decisions for her even though she has agreed in the past that everything she is doing now is part of her attachment issues) if i could understand the root cause in her mind and she wont listen to outside people or me in waking life maybe i could from a distance do this again and help her heal... and if i can help her heal inception style it will make it easier for her to heal in waking life and come to me with the honesty it seems and feels like she wants to give but doesnt know how...im not in to changing her or rooting around her mind un-invited... i just want to try to help her and help us continue to have a happy life together... so if anyone could help me understand what all this is...and how to improve... i would be very grateful for your insight/expertise... thankyou everyone so much for your time and for reading my experiences.

What I mean is I'm looking for mod or bunch of mods that make creatures act more natural, they do their thing, they feel like real animal. For example in RDR2 you can find wolves chasing deers or other weak creatures while akso running away from bear, bears scratch their back on a tree shrub, wolves sometimes don't attack player instantly but look at player and call out for their buddies. Also overhauling the attack animation of animals. There's a mod called "definitely not a furry animation" that makes wolves attack better, like it feels they're their own animation and a proper one at that . Cougar can Chase deers, cougars lick water from the river or lakes, cougars swimming through rivers, you can place bait to attract animals, animals not noticing yoy when put on a lotion that blocks off your scent, you need to be careful about your behaviour based on what animal you're hunting, every creature having its own unique animation that makes them stand out feel real
More of something like that for Skyrim ? I need as much as I can have.

I hate humans most of them are horrible and more things happen or that i learn thing it just reinforce my thought of human being horrible like for example if anyone has the situation of peepz on tiktok everybody supported her cuz she stood for men on one vid related on the question with a men and a bear and then when they realized she was trans they all started hating on her just for that even if she was one of their only few supporter and now she prefers the bear. Theres not only things about other just my personal experience make me realized it even more i have almost no friends and the one i have are fake friends so it even harder cuz im lonely but one time someone asked if i was really trans(cuz one of my “friend” told him this one stopped talking to me when i came out to them) and i said yes then he said “please be normal again” and this just make me hate others even more in addition of already hating myself,being depressed and dysphoria its just horrible and this combination makes it even harder to make dysphoria go away cuz of all this i have huge lack of motivation and i cant do anything. all that i do is playing game to try to distract me from my own toughts and trying to not feel completely shitty

Tier List: https://imgur.com/a/8uZCpGy
Oh boy, is this one gonna be a can of worms. Let's dive in headfirst!
"I'll school you in this battle of the baddest Bruce, with your He-Man haircut and your Daisy Dukes." It's an unremarkable line, but the rhythm here is pretty kickass, and I love the choregraphy of Jenner doing stretches in time with the beat, it's a really satisfying visual. "I hear you're good at running, you're just like the Flash. Especially in the 100-meter ditch-your-wife dash." Decent attack. They never fail to use someone getting divorced as material for a diss, do they? Banner looming over his beakers and microscope is a nice visual, and "You turned one gold medal to a lifetime of green; the most overrated athlete anyone's ever seen" is a competent enough attack. "You need to carry fatherhood across that finish line; kept up with the Kardashians but left some kids behind" is, again, a decent enough diss. A lot of material about Jenner's family here; I guess that's to be expected. There's still one or two much more obvious lines of attack to make, but I suppose Banner is just saving his best stuff for the end, right? He certainly wasn't saving it for the end of this verse, in which he just references the fact that he transforms when he gets pissed off without fashioning it into much of an attack or boast. The use of strings in the music here is a really nice touch, although I'd say the green screen effect with Bruce standing in front of those neurons or whatever ain't looking so hot.
Actually, the green screen effects for this battle broadly aren't the best. That stadium Jenner's standing in is looking pretty low-res. "I think you're in your element when you're behaving badly; honestly you're kind of boron when you're happy." It's a corny pun, but the sentiment is true enough. "I'll lap and pass your ass ten different ways. Decathlon athlete blast through you like some gamma rays." This is filler; it's fine, rhythm sounds pretty good, but it's just taking up space. "The truth is there's no truce between the Bruces, you're a drifter being useless, I'm a winner, no excuses!" That's a lot of playing on the same rhyme in a short period of time, and I dig that: truth/truce/Bruces/useless/excuses, hell yeah. I guess some of those aren't proper rhymes so much as, what's the word... assonance, maybe? It's good writing, is the point. The visuals panning in and out of this home gym is a nice touch too, and a nice parallel to Banner's sequence with his lab. "Beatiful women all up on my jock, I got a home gym, check me on the cereal box, Doc!" The rhythm Jenner's spitting here rules, this beat is low-key one of the better ones they've done. It's also a nice boast, and that Wheaties visual is pretty great. "You big green freak, don't try to flex; if it wasn't for your cousin, you'd never have sex!" Okay, this line goes super hard and I think it's one of the most underrated ones in ERB history. AND it's got one of the funniest visuals in the way Jenner pops in on that roller shouting "OHH!" while Banner suffers. That bit lives rent-free in my head. "You're so strong when you get mad, too bad you can't go back to protect your mom from your dad!" Holy fucking SHIT, this goes hard! The flow here kicks all kinds of ass, and we've got a 3x rhyme combo going on with mad/bad/dad; I LOVE odd numbers of rhymes! It's also just an extremely savage low blow. Another line that doesn't get enough credit. Jenner is kicking Banner's ass so far.
One questionable and inadvisable transformation sequence later, The Hulk comes in to spit a few bars. But only a few. "That painted face don't give you class; just one more thing Bruce do for cash!" Interesting argument. "Best thing you make? Kylie ass! She eighteen? Hulk SMASH!!" I do think this is a pretty funny way to reduce Jenner's legacy to Kardashian bullshit, and the Hulk SMASH joke always gets a strong reaction out of people.
Fully transitioned Caitlin Jenner comes in with "That's my teenage daughter, man, I have to forbid this; I'll put a javelin through your jolly green discus." Decent lines. Good way for Caitlin Jenner to brag about her athletic achievements while also throwing a Jolly Green Giant jab in. "Kylie not the kinda girl I'm gonna let you smash on; you'll get the medal without the decathlon!" I like the medeal/metal wordplay here, although Caitlin Jenner dual-wielding pistols and firing them at the Hulk feels extremely out of left field.
"Hulk is Hulk! No identify as man! Me thinks Cait might understand!" Pretty funny line, and Caitlin's reaction is also amusing. "No gender issue; this Jenner issue! Just you being you is enough to diss you!" So that's it, then? They're really not going to bring that one thing up, eh? I feel like that closing line would land a lot better if they did.
"Look I understand that you hate yourself; but you don't need to blame yourself." Oh, huh. That's different. Let's see where this therapy session goes. "You're a tiger, stop trying to tame yourself; you gotta be big enough to contain yourself." Well... I like that she's mixing things up by rhyming with the penultimate word instead of the last word, that's always something. They're clearly going for an angle of Caitlin relating to Bruce and trying to teach him to come to terms with his identity, which is kind of cute, I guess. "Be green, it ain't none of my business!" That line's pretty funny, as is the tea-sipping visual. "But if you think you're looking good in those torn-ass clothes; you're lying, which means you need a new wardrobe!" That's a reference to The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, which has absolutely nothing to do with this matchup. Feels out of place because of it. And it's not a very strong diss besides, feels like padding. Doubly strange to end her verse on it. "The visions of those shorts kinda scarred me; what'd you just rage at a Barney themed party?" Oh, there's more? Alright. This burn is really lame. Barney jokes? Come aaaaaaaahhhhhn, what are we doing here? That line should have definitely been left on the cutting room floor. "That's probably not something you seen as a child; not one day did you see your daddy smile!" Okay. She already established that Hulk's father was abusive in her first verse, and while it was a powerful blow there, here it feels much more toothless. "Hulk not strong enough to deal with denial! Laying you down easy; that's kitchen tile!" The first line is pretty amusing with how Caitlin imitates The Hulk's speech, but that second line... why? Pretty weaksauce way to finish her performance off, but whatever. Also not a fan of these visuals with the diamonds, feels like they wanted to add some visual flair but couldn't think of a good way to do it so they settled on Caitlin popping out of diamonds which is just odd. "Examine this under your microscope; you've got no neck, but you still fucking choked!" Oh. This verse is still going? Okay. Well, it's a good line. "After battling me, you're gonna always be pissed! So the Hulk will stay forever, neither Bruce will exist!" You know, that's actually a pretty strong closer, but I can't help but feel like it's undercut by just how long that verse was dragging on.
Okay, so. I feel it should be pointed out that there's a lot of people who were always going to hate this battle for making the decision not to attack Caitlin for being trans. Furthermore, the overwhelming sentiment has been that Banner won this; it bears keeping in mind that there's a lot of transphobes out there who were going to say the Hulk won no matter what happened simply because Caitlin is trans. So to that end, I think that a fair amount of the hate this battle gets, and the hate that Caitlin's performance gets, is bullshit. But there are still some big criticisms that need to be made.
So let's be honest: they threw the match for Caitlin. Or at least attempted to. You might still think the Hulk managed to win, but with that insanely long final verse it's pretty clear they tried to make Caitlin the 'canon' winner, as with Thomas Jefferson vs. Frederick Douglass. They did this presumably because it was pride month, and they wanted to say Trans Rights with a trans rapper that gets a positive portrayal. I can get behind that sentiment, but the execution is questionable to say the least.
Like... I'm not trans, but there's some shitty stuff going on here that's easy to see. For one, the cardinal rule that everybody knows is that you're not supposed to misgendedeadname a trans person, and the title of this battle is Bruce Banner vs. Bruce Jenner. So from the get-go, before the video even starts playing, we're getting some mixed signals here. Are we to take from this that they made the tactical decision to go ahead and deadname Caitlin for the sake of the matchup making intuitive sense(what with it obviously being a play on their similar names), and then try and do a hard pivot and make Caitlin win the battle to avoid criticism for that decision? Feels like maybe they could have just not gone with this matchup instead. The whole transformation element also seems dubious, but I could see someone reasonably landing either way on whether that's actually an issue or just silly fun, so I won't go into that.
Another issue to consider: Caitlin Jenner kind of sucks. Most people do not like her. Most TRANS people don't even like her. For one, despite the fact that she's trans, she is a Republican who has made anti-gay marriage comments in the past. The bizarre shittiness of a trans person being like that is a pretty ripe source of material for disses, yet this battle does not bring it up at all. And more notably than that, Caitlin Jenner was famously involved with a manslaughter case, where she was accused of getting someone killed due to negligent driving. It was ultimately determined that there wasn't enough evidence for manslaughter and so she wasn't found guilty(though it's widely believed that this decision was bullshit and she did commit manslaughter), but it's an extremely well-known and controversial factoid and it's insane they didn't have Banner bring up as a diss. If you're going to have a rapper make the case of "Just you being you is enough to diss you", seems like being a trans Republican and quite possibly committing vehicular manslaughter are the two strongest and most obvious points to go with. And yet... nothing. If your goal to make a battle that gives trans people positive representation, then Caitlin Jenner is a pretty poor choice. If you don't want your trans rapper to look like a bad person, then maybe instead of ignoring either elephant in the room, you could just go with some other trans rapper in some other matchup. I get that there aren't a lot of choices for a trans rep with name recognition or ample material to work with, but... the Wachowski sisters are right there. And they've done more to warrant getting in an ERB than Caitlin Jenner anyhow.
Another thing is... why is it a moral imperative that Caitlin win this battle? Sure she's trans, and it's cool want to give trans people positive representation, but you didn't need to give her an absurdly long verse at the end to do that. You could just give her good writing, refrain from shitting on her just for being trans, and sure, let her have the final word. Then, yes, show the pride flag at the end to say Trans Rights. That's all you had to do. With something like Jefferson v. Douglass the scale-tipping made sense, because it was a slave-owner vs. a slave. Yeah, it's kind of hard for the slave-owner to win that match, and it makes sense to use it as a vehicle to take a firm stand against slavery. But it's not like this battle is Trans Person vs. Transphobe; Bruce Banner isn't some horrible person that must be morally condemned(there's a much stronger case for Caitlin herself), so... why have it play out like this? I think that ironically, by trying to hand the match to Caitlin they wound up getting more hate thrown towards the performance and more people voting against her in polls than there otherwise would have been if they'd just cut out all that excessive padding and given her a solid closing verse. As-is the verse isn't good, the overall quality is dragged down by just how much fluff there is.
In the end, my read on the situation is this: for whatever reason, they really liked the idea of this matchup and wanted to go through with it. They knew that going through with it would necessitate making it Bruce Banner vs. Bruce Jenner at the start, so they bit the bullet on the deadnaming and the conceit for the matchup and did everything they could to mitigate the potential backlash for that, going as soft on Caitlin as possible and giving her a verse that was ridiculously lengthy. People always say "but it's the Hulk, it makes sense he wouldn't say much!" and sure, I can buy that as an excuse as to why Caitlin's verse would be longER than his, but that still doesn't account for why it's as insanely long as it is. In any case... this paragraph is just speculation, I can't know their actual motivations, but I think this is likely what happened.
Anyway... despite all, this battle gets way too much hate. I think Jenner's first verse is really good, and the Hulk is also quite solid for as few lines as he gets. Bruce Banner is a little mediocre and Caitlin's last verse ends up just being a pain in the ass to sit through(could've been good if they cut all the fat and left in the handful of good lines) that's best skipped past on repeat listens. But still... there's some stuff here that is thoroughly enjoyable. I don't think this battle quite manages to be good, but it's got enough going for it that I think it manages to avoid being outright bad. I'm putting this in the top of C tier, because I genuinely think it's more enjoyable than all of the battles that are below it.
It's understandable to say that The Hulk beat Jenner's second verse, but I think her first verse was pretty fire and the highlight of the battle. I say she edges out a win, but a case could be made either way.
Let me end things off by saying this: I once watched this battle with an extremely transphobic relative, and he was pissed off by that "no gender issue, this Jenner issue" line. So even if this battle was a regrettable mistake, at least they did something right.

For thousands of years, and to this day, Christians of various kinds have tried to demonstrate the truth of Christianity by claiming that Jesus was prophesied about specifically in the Hebrew Scriptures. It is argued that Jesus fulfilled these prophecies about the Messiah in the OT and, therefore, is the promised one. Only Jesus could've fulfilled these Messianic prophecies, so they say. Additionally, Christian theology, building off the NT paradigm of quoting the OT, has claimed that the OT looks forward to the founding of Christianity and the formation of the Church.
What this post will argue is that this is anachronistic and that Christians are incorrect in their claims about the OT. The OT prophets do not look forward to a supposed Messiah figure who would arrive hundreds of years later in 1st century Roman Palestine or that this Messiah figure would crucified and raised from the dead. Nor do they prophesy the establishment of the Christian religion. Instead, the OT looks forward to an imminent, glorious, material restoration of ancient Israel meant to happen in their day, not centuries later when Christianity was founded. Nor is the OT looking forward to supposed events that have yet to happen, like the second coming of Jesus or a future restoration of the land of Israel. These were supposed to happen in ancient Israel but did not occur.
Before I begin, I would like to say that this is the consensus of biblical scholars and historians. This is not just my opinion or the opinion of secular skeptics. All critical scholars of the OT, including Jews, Christians, and non-religious ones, agree that OT needs to be understood in its ancient Israelite context. They agree that these texts and oracles are not about Jesus or the Church. If you want to read an excellent scholarly resource, I highly recommend John J. Collins, Introduction to the Hebrew Bible, 2018. He is a leading OT scholar at Yale and a Roman Catholic. The New Oxford Annotated Study Bible is also a beneficial resource, giving a critical scholarly introduction and notes to the Hebrew Bible.
For this post, I will look at some of the principal prophetic literature of the OT. I cannot analyze every single relevant passage.

Isaiah

The Book of Isaiah is among the most popular books in ancient Judaism and Christianity. I could be wrong, but I believe it is the most cited book in the NT after Psalms. This is relevant to this discussion because Christians cite many passages in Isaiah, believing them to be predictions about Jesus. This precedent is set in the NT, for example, in Matthew's or Luke's gospel. However, Jesus/Christianity is not prophesied in the book. Instead, Isaiah predicts the imminent restoration of the Kingdom of Israel and the gathering of the twelve tribes.
Let's examine Isaiah 7:14, a passage often misconstrued as a prophecy about Jesus. In reality, it's not a prophecy about the Messiah at all. The passage states, 'Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Look, the young woman is with child and shall bear a son and shall name him Immanuel.' This is not about a virgin giving a miraculous birth. The word used here is 'almah ', which simply means young woman. If Isaiah intended to convey that this woman was a virgin, there was a word for that, 'betulah '. Matthew's use of the Greek translation of Isaiah 7:14, which is a mistranslation of the Hebrew, as a prophecy about Jesus's virgin birth is a misinterpretation. The context of Isaiah 7 is an oracle of consolation given to King Ahaz, promising him a sign through the birth of a son that Jerusalem will be preserved from the Assyrian crisis.
'For before the child knows how to refuse the evil and choose the good, the land before whose two kings you are in dread will be deserted. The Lord will bring on you and on your people and on your ancestral house such days as have not come since the day that Ephraim departed from Judah—the king of Assyria. On that day the Lord will whistle for the fly that is at the sources of the streams of Egypt and for the bee that is in the land of Assyria. And they will all come and settle in the steep ravines and in the clefts of the rocks and on all the thornbushes and on all the watering holes. On that day the Lord will shave with a razor hired beyond the River—with the king of Assyria—the head and the hair of the feet, and it will take off the beard as well.'
So, Isaiah 7:14 refers to the Assyrian crisis in the 8th century BCE and the preservation of Jerusalem, not events that occurred hundreds of years later. Matthew's misquotation of the OT is a clear example of misinterpretation. It's quite ironic and even amusing that the most famous and well-known prophecy about Jesus's virgin birth, cited every year at Christmas, is quite literally not about that. This highlights the importance of understanding the historical context and the original intent of the texts.
There is a cluster of oracles in Isaiah 9-11 that Christians cite as a prophecy about Jesus. But when we look at the context of Isaiah 7-12, we see that these are about the restoration of Zion and the re-establishment of a Davidic king who would rule in the ancient Near East in Israel, not in 1st-century Judea.
Let's look at some of the famous passages.
'For a child has been born for us, a son given to us; authority rests upon his shoulders, and he is named Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Great will be his authority, and there shall be endless peace for the throne of David and his kingdom. He will establish and uphold it with justice and with righteousness from this time onward and forevermore. The zeal of the Lord of hosts will do this.' 9:6-7
This is not a prophecy about Jesus. The text presupposes that this son is already born and will fulfill this vision in Isaiah's day. Again, the passages surrounding this one set the historical context for fulfillment in the ANE. This Davidic King would preside over the physical restoration of a united Kingdom of Israel and the unification of the twelve tribes.
'On that day, the remnant of Israel and the survivors of the house of Jacob will no longer lean on the one who struck them but will lean on the Lord, the Holy One of Israel, in truth. A remnant will return, the remnant of Jacob, to the mighty God. For though your people, O Israel, were like the sand of the sea, only a remnant of them will return.' 10:20-22
'On that day, the root of Jesse shall stand as a signal to the peoples; the nations shall inquire of him, and his dwelling shall be glorious. On that day, the Lord will again raise his hand to recover the remnant that is left of his people from Assyria, from Egypt, from Pathros, from Cush, from Elam, from Shinar, from Hamath, and from the coastlands of the sea.' 11:10-11
The King, through Yahweh, on that day will also,
'raise a signal for the nations and will assemble the outcasts of Israel and gather the dispersed of Judah from the four corners of the earth. ¹³ The jealousy of Ephraim shall depart; the hostility of Judah shall be cut off; Ephraim shall not be jealous of Judah, and Judah shall not be hostile toward Ephraim. ¹⁴ But they shall swoop down on the backs of the Philistines in the west; together, they shall plunder the people of the east. They shall put forth their hand against Edom and Moab, and the Ammonites shall obey them.'
So, it's clear what these oracles were intending to describe. Isaiah predicted that after the Assyrian crisis of the 8th century BCE, Yahweh would raise up a Davidic ruler who would preside over a literal Israelite Kingdom that would become the dominant power of the ANE. This was expected to happen in the ancient world, but it did not occur. The historical context of Jesus and the first-century Church is not the fulfillment of these oracles. These oracles are failed. Isaiah's vision of an eternal, glorious Israelite Kingdom did not come to pass.

Jeremiah

There are two passages in Jeremiah I would like to discuss.
Jeremiah 29:10 promises that after 70 years, the Jews will return from the Babylonian exile, and God will restore Israel to its former glory.
'For thus says the Lord: Only when Babylon’s seventy years are completed will I visit you, and I will fulfill to you my promise and bring you back to this place. For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope. Then, when you call upon me and come and pray to me, I will hear you. When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart, I will let you find me, says the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.'
This never happened historically. Yes, some of the Judeans in exile did return to Israel. Israel was rebuilt with the help of the Persians. But, this was not the glorious restoration predicted by the prophets. Israel would continue to be dominated by foreign powers until the establishment of the secular state of Israel in 1948, which, of course, has no relevance to this ancient oracle. Further, while some Judeans did return, this promise of a gathering of Jews from all the nations did not happen. After the Assyrian and Babylonian conquests, Jews have remained permanently dispersed in the diaspora. This is another failed oracle. It cannot be interpreted exegetically as being fulfilled in the 1st century with Jesus and Christianity.
More famously, however, is Jeremiah's prediction of the establishment of a 'New Covenant.' (31:31) Christians see this New Covenant as being fulfilled in the Church, and indeed, the New Testament frequently refers to the New Covenant being fulfilled in the Christian community and Jesus's work. However, the historical context of this passage is surrounded by a cluster of oracles in chapters 30-31 that were meant to be a consolation to ancient Israel. The passage itself is clear that this is not talking about Christianity or events hundreds of years later, but is a word of consolation to Jews who experienced the Babylonian conquest:
'The days are surely coming, says the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah.' 31:31
What is the context?
'At that time, says the Lord, I will be the God of all the families of Israel, and they shall be my people.' 31:1
'The days are surely coming, says the Lord, when the city shall be rebuilt for the Lord from the tower of Hananel to the Corner Gate. And the measuring line shall go out farther, straight to the hill Gareb, and shall then turn to Goah. The whole valley of the dead bodies and the ashes and all the fields as far as the Wadi Kidron, to the corner of the Horse Gate toward the east, shall be sacred to the Lord. It shall never again be uprooted or overthrown.' 31:38-40
'For the days are surely coming, says the Lord, when I will restore the fortunes of my people, Israel and Judah, says the Lord, and I will bring them back to the land that I gave to their ancestors, and they shall take possession of it' 30:3
Then, it is clear what prophesy about the New Covenant means. It's about the imminent restoration of the ancient Kingdom of Israel and its ascent into power and glory. Again, these oracles remained unfulfilled and precisely falsified.

Micah

There is one famous passage in Micah 5, quoted in Matthew and frequently cited by Christians as "proof" that Jesus's birth location was prophesied about hundreds of years prior. The idea that Jesus was born in Bethlehem is, of course, historically dubious. Matthew and Luke's accounts are contradictory and rife with historical problems. Mark and John assume Jesus has always been a native of Nazareth (Mk 6:2-3, Jn 1:46, 7:42). It seems then that Matthew and Luke invented their passages about Jesus being born in Bethlehem to give him more Davidic status. But this is beside the point, even if Jesus was born in Bethlehem. It is not a fulfillment of this passage.
'But you, O Bethlehem of Ephrathah, who is one of the little clans of Judah, from you shall come forth for me one who is to rule in Israel, whose origin is from of old, from ancient days.' 5:2
What is the historical context of this oracle? Again, the context of the chapter and the book is Israel's restoration and the Israelite kingdom's imminent establishment.
'Then, the remnant of Jacob, surrounded by many peoples, shall be like dew from the Lord, like showers on the grass, which do not depend upon people or wait for any mortal. ⁸ And among the nations the remnant of Jacob, surrounded by many peoples, shall be like a lion among the animals of the forest, like a young lion among the flocks of sheep, which, when it goes through, treads down and tears in pieces, with no one to deliver. ⁹ Your hand shall be lifted up over your adversaries, and all your enemies shall be cut off.'
On that day, says the Lord, I will cut off your horses from among you and will destroy your chariots; ¹¹ and I will cut off the cities of your land and destroy all your strongholds; ¹² and I will cut off sorceries from your hand, and you shall have no more soothsayers; ¹³ and I will cut off your images and your pillars from among you, and you shall bow down no more to the work of your hands; ¹⁴ and I will uproot your sacred poles^\)g^\) from among you and destroy your towns. ¹⁵ And in anger and wrath I will execute vengeance on the nations that did not obey.
What about this future King? Again, I find it amusing that Christians cite this text to show that Jesus fulfilled it. It shows they have not read and understood the historical context of the oracle. The text goes on to say that this King will conquer the land of Assyria, the land of Nimrod.
Micah 5:5–6
'When the Assyrians come into our land and tread upon our soil, we will raise against them seven shepherds and eight rulers. They shall rule the land of Assyria with the sword and the land of Nimrod with the drawn sword; he shall rescue us from the Assyrians if they come into our land or tread within our border.'

Conclusion

I've, of course, been very selective. There are many more examples of this that could've been pulled from. I hope you will see what I've briefly tried to show. The Prophets of the OT predicted that in their own time, they would see the salvation of Yahweh as their God. A Davidic King would be raised, and Israel would be restored to glory after the Assyrian crisis in the case of Isaiah or the Babylonian crisis in the case of Jeremiah and Micah. The same goes for the other prophets. My thesis, then, is that historically understood, not only did these oracles fail in their prediction, but they are demonstrably not about events in 1st century Roman Palestine or the wider Greco-Roman world. They're not about establishing the Church or a dying and rising messiah figure who brings spiritual salvation. Yes, the NT does interpret passages in the OT as being fulfilled in Jesus. But they are taken out of their historical context. The NT and early Christians were not novel in this practice. This was standard Jewish exegesis of the OT. Because Christians and Jews believed that the OT writings were sacred scripture that couldn't be wrong, they reinterpreted them in the light of their situations. The Essenes at Qumran, like the early Christians, also thought that their community and Teacher of Righteousness was the fulfillment of the bible prophecy, and the Rabbis in the Rabbinic literature frequently apply ancient scripture to their community.

There is great benefit, these days, in having a name unlike any other: you float to the top of Google searches. Bolerium Books, in San Francisco, knows this well, although it wasn’t a consideration when it first opened, in 1981. Bolerium’s co-owner, John Durham, runs through any number of explanations for the name, depending on whose leg he wants to pull and how hard. “It was an ancient road in Roman times,” he intoned recently, “large, funny, and sluggish,” while another co-owner, Alexander Akin, roundly mouthed, “Not true.” (The word is a Roman one for Land’s End, in Cornwall, England. The bookstore was once a bit closer to the ocean.) Fittingly, there is no other place like Bolerium, not on the Internet nor in the province of the real. Similes come steadily, none of which really seem to fit. Perhaps Durham’s is best. “We’re like a platypus,” he told me recently, “ugly as fuck and all sorts of parts.”.
This moment of serious American protest against Trump has led to one of Bolerium Books’ best sales years ever.Photograph by Thor Swift / NYT / Redux.
At last count, the store contained 67,385 single titles in stock. Estimates of the time that has elapsed since the last deep cleaning ranged from a jokey “twenty years ago” to a hemming “define ‘clean.’ ” “Nature abhors a vacuum,” Durham quickly noted. A store map gestures at the sheer amount of stuff, with sections labelled as “Reef of Flotsam” or “Onset of Confusion” (right by the entrance), or, in one cramped corner, “Hell.”
The semi-barbed humor protects something serious and deeply essential. Few people walk in (“the door is locked to keep out the unworthy,” Durham wrote in response to a negative Yelp review, though he made sure to mention the password, “swordfish”). Those who do manage to enter find, three floors above one of the Mission District’s busiest intersections, a vast and quiet space populated by seven staff members, thousands of books about and from social movements, densely packed rows of pamphlets and ephemera, and, in the adjacent storage room, great snowbanks of paper. These snowbanks, or “midden heaps,” as Durham calls them, are from attics, basements, personal archives, and libraries across the country. They have all been sold or donated to Bolerium. In them, evidence of the past is to be found, possibly reckoned with, and then, hopefully, sold.
From Bolerium’s snowbanks have come copies of On Our Backs (a lesbian erotic magazine put out in response to the anti-pornography publication Off Our Backs), century-old postcards of pacifist Doukhobors protesting in the nude, intricate Black Panther posters and handbills, an issue of Lumberjack (“with appendix on musical saw”), and the famous inter-commune Kaliflower newsletters from early-nineteen-seventies San Francisco. But with a staff so expert that they can translate a Mongolian treatise on traditional Oirat law using a handmade cheat sheet, classifications like “famous” and “obscure” begin to blur. So do “past” and “present.” Rather than a platypus, maybe the store is more like an estuary: the disparate holdings mingle, rolling in and out according to murky tides. (If you visit the Web site and browse the digital catalog by date, the tides begin to feel more explicable; one week, for example, carries a huge wave of Alan Watts-related material. The next week brings a crush of gay romance novels.) At Bolerium, for better and worse, you can wade around in what Durham calls “the primary source material for history.”
Here is an 1838 publication by the American Anti-Slavery Society and a brochure arguing for the Equal Rights Amendment. A pamphlet from a 1928 speech by Marcus Garvey sits not far from a publication on “incidents in the Life of Eugene V. Debs” written by his brother, Theodore (once, before an important speech, a piece of barbed wire tore “a great rent in [Debs’s] trousers . . . the flap of which hung down like the ear of a Missouri houn’ pup”). Among many other small, sheeny pins is a button from the 1990 AIDS Walk in San Francisco. Here are fliers that passed from hand to hand at protests, meant to convince, assuage, and inflame, and here’s a lump of coal from a miners’ strike in Alabama with tiny chicken-scratch wording: “never forget.” Notably, this year of serious American protest has been the store’s best sales year ever.
Not marked on the map is that other part of American history that has, this year and every other, raged—a section that Durham loosely calls “the White Problem” and keeps behind the locked door of a different room altogether. Accessible to scholars and those who know to ask, the spindly bookcases contain titles like “Gun Control Means People Control” and “Fluoridation & Truth Decay,” as well as several publications by the John Birch Society. “You can’t understand American history without understanding the far right,” Durham told me. “What it’s done, its justifications, its tropes and idiocies.”
It was to the deepest corner of the storeroom that the archivist Lisbet Tellefsen was drawn one afternoon. (Tellefsen visits Bolerium as a “treasure hunter,” and has amassed the largest collection of Angela Davis-related material in the world.) One time, she idly tugged out an issue of The Bayviewer, a magazine that once served the historic black neighborhood that James Baldwin characterized as “the San Francisco America pretends does not exist.”
.
The magazine fell open to a page bearing the face of Tellefsen’s father, whom she had not seen since she was two, in an advertisement for his Oldsmobile dealership. That led to an ongoing saga of tracking down half-siblings and cousins found on Ancestry.com. “There is so much history there,” Tellefsen told me. She visits Bolerium once a month, wary of buying back her own consigned material. “It’s so rich with connections. We have an understanding of history, but places like that hold so much.” Bolerium’s official motto, “Fighting Commodity Fetishism with Commodity Fetishism since 1981,” does not quite distill the feeling of holding some of these discoveries between your fingers, or explain the way that ephemera can work to vivify history, very often through its ordinariness. A bit of light browsing recently unearthed a flier from a class reunion of Florida’s first accredited African-American high school, as well as an Electrolux manual from 1933 listing Pope Pius XI as a famous customer.
But history is ongoing, and the present moment needs its collectors. During the Occupy Movement, the store paid a dollar for each flyer or poster that people brought in, then put together a sweeping collection for the British Library. Holdings from contemporary social movements are fairly small, since so much planning, discussing, and arguing takes place on Facebook and Twitter. “Occupy was the last one to have lots of leaflets,” Akin told me, somewhat sadly. Currently, he is collecting material from what he calls the “shock-and-disbelief period” following the 2016 Presidential election. Only from “marinating in the sauce of time” do these things begin to accrue both value and interest.
.
Recently, in one snowbank, Akin found a sketch done in creamy pastel of a basalt mountain and drifting clouds. Tiny guard towers dotted the background. It was a drawing of the view from Tule Lake Segregation Center, the largest of the incarceration camps that held Japanese-Americans during the Second World War, and the one which held those people deemed by the government to be “disloyal.” The artist was a man named Tomokazu, surname unknown, who resided for over thirty-five years in Plumas County, California, before being imprisoned at Tule Lake. The piece of paper sat among countless others all bearing dispatches of one kind or another from the past, which is not a foreign country, really, but a place hovering just under our present, and made of paper and ink, buttons, and voices.
https://xenagoguevicene.wordpress.com/2020/08/12/bolerium-books-the-san-francisco-bookstore-where-the-revolution-ends-up-by-lucy-schiller-the-new-yorker-20-sept-2018/

I am a domestic high school graduate who has already taken the college entrance examination (Gaokao-China), majoring in the sciences, with a keen interest in computer science and mathematics. I'm the first generation of university students in my family, and we are not financially affluent. I don't have a green card, and I'm also Deaf and a member of the LGBTQ+ community.
During my time in high school, I maintained an average score of 95. In language proficiency exams, I scored 71 on the TOEFL, with sub-scores of 28 in reading, 22 in writing, 15 in listening, and 6 in speaking (I couldn't exempt from the speaking and listening exams, but I will explain this situation during the application process). I plan to take the SAT exam in June and a special TOEFL exam in August.
Regarding my major in computer science and mathematics, I'm considering switching to a different field such as linguistics, education, or psychology.
Honors:
Excellent Award in the National Writing Competition (30 out of 5000 participants)
Third Prize in the Jiangsu Province Disability Programming Competition (3 out of 800 participants)
Second Prize in the City High School Mathematics Competition (2 out of 480 participants)
School Scholarship Recipient (1 out of 50)
Third Prize in the 10th City "Chinese Dream" High School Talent Competition (3 out of 1900 participants)
List of Activities:
Developer of a sign language translation app (with over 1 million users)
Project leader (designing assistive technologies for the blind and Deaf using Python and C++)
Organizer of Pride Parade (established the DEAF Rainbow Club)
Founder of a studio
Theater director (collaborating with United Deaf & Hearing Artists to promote inclusive narratives in multilingual collaborative theaters)
Assistant at a family farm
Family caregiver
Chief designer
Math tutor
Deaf sign language dance troupe
ESSAY My object is an old-fashioned computer, and this objects is a table, then this table is my desk (app development) and the table where I cook for my family (family responsibilities + low-income).
The purpose of the first paragraph is to set up a scene, the old computer and the cooking bring out that I have family responsibility, and life is not easy.
In the second paragraph, recall how I got along with the old-fashioned computer - for example when I was a child and could still hear, you used the computer to play games; gradually grew up, I began to dislike the computer is too slow, too old, not advanced enough hearing assistance
The third paragraph, the twist - write how I learned programming and English on my own through this old computer and used this old computer to create new opportunities for myself
Fourth paragraph, fifth paragraph - describes two qualities
To wrap up the text, this is a metaphor for how I will always be mindful of where I am from, and always be aware of the deaf, LGBTQ, and low-income communities
I don't know much about deafness, I seem to have some differences in my hearing, and I often misinterpret people's words. I felt the impact of deafness as if the world had lost its colour in silence. In conversation, I grew to rely on spoken words, and the lack of hearing made understanding more and more difficult. My friends' conversations drifted away as if they lived in a world beyond my reach.
But I will never forget the old computer I grew up with (meaning I will never forget where I came from and will always think for people like myself)

1. socially, my world is quiet - I want to understand the world in silent mode
   
   1. in my family life, my world is full of burdens -- I have to take care of my parents while fulfilling my life goals.
2. academically, my world is lacking in resources -- as a deaf person, I can't go to university to study my favorite computer subject like a normal person.
   

Can provide some general direction on the advice, although you guys pointed out to provide feedback, I essay also have no idea (my thinking counts as a particularly simple question) specifically which question needs to be changed, I conceive of the outline of ideas.
Do you have any advice on my general situation in terms of school districts and strategies for choosing schools. If you are interested in this opportunity, please contact me privately. Thank you.

Picking out sounds I like while I'm talking, picking out the ones I dont, and messing around with my voice and/or mouth to fix it. Testing the stamina of my voice and using it for long periods of time (mostly by talking by myself) to get more and more comfortable with using my feminine voice. there's always new goals to venture towards. Even if I've learned how to talk in my feminine voice, there is still much for me to learn.
I find that most people (including myself in the beginning of my voice training) take it too literally. Thinking too much on exercises and trying to "feel" the muscles they're supposed to use. One of the biggest breakthroughs in my voice training was simply listening to examples (female voices) and trying to apply that to my voice.
I can almost imagine every voice as having a specific "shape" and i can match my voice to that shape. Even if it may not sound exactly like the voice im trying to mimic, the qualities of the voice transfer over because im using the same shape as the voice im trying to mimic.
sorry if i sound like a crazy person in that last paragraph but being visual about voice training helped me tremendously. Hoped i helped anyone at all
Love you all ❤️

TLDR; babble yap sesh
Life is sin. Sin is survival for humans. The notion of Jesus’ existence suggests that he was fully God fully human(*edit) It is also believed that he was free of sin and original sin. The big gimmick is that there is no “point of life” or “larger purpose”. We as humans are on earth, simply to be ourselves in the human form. That is the ultimate gift amongst all of the suffering we must endure. Instead of trying to be a good person for the sake of God’s grace, I believe an individual should actively try to do the right thing (as much as any given situation allows) and treat people how they ought to be treated, simply because they feel love and want to share it.
In my opinion, Jesus serves as the perfect example, of what we should strive to be, but also acknowledge that we are not perfect, and we are going to sin. The test, I believe, is that after you sin due to your human bounds, your “god-like” part of the conscious will undergo a process of guilt, shame, forgiveness, acceptance, and renewal. To me, that is the closest a person can get to living the way that Jesus is said to have lived.
Life is suffering. It is simply a separation of: those who are aware of their suffering and actively trying to learn from it (therapy or self reflection) and those who suffer, but choose not to learn from it (too comfortable in one’s own ego/perception of thyself). However, I understand that in order to “make it” in this world, you must develop some sort of deluded sense of self, so that you can survive in public environments (the mask).
I believe that all of the people who die and will die having not become truly aware of their own sin and suffering, will simply continue the rebirth cycle until they truly understand and are able to transcend above the inherently human way of thinking, which is sinful thinking. I believe that once a person is comprehensive of the entire truth of our identities and actively chooses to live accordingly, they are finally capable of transcendence into “heaven” or as I like to believe, a Xanadu of some sorts…a plane of existence that embodies absolute freedom: a land free of judgement, a land free of pain, a land free of authority, a land free of misunderstanding, a land free of temptation, of currency. A land where all are one and one is all. This is why it is essential for the individual self to learn the ultimate truth of the self in accordance with everything and everyone.
The prevalent Christian (and/or catholic) belief is that in order to get in to heaven and not go to hell (in my beliefs, “hell” is just the rebirth cycle back to earth until you learn your lessons), one must live in constant fear of God’s final judgment, to which you must “be a good person”. Worshipping God and Jesus is also a common practice among Christians (and catholics).
I believe that God sent Jesus to earth, specifically to tell us, not to worship him, anyone, or anything.
If Jesus was truly free of sin, then there is no doubt he would be outcasted and eventually killed for simply being who he is. If Jesus lived today, he wouldn’t care about clothes, or a social media account (unless it was to benefit the greater good in some way). He would simply be. I reckon that Jesus would really like Bladee’s newer albums, (especially the fool, cold visions, 333) and the message that they send.
We are nothing—but as humans, we have the capability to be everything. What I mean by that is that when we are born, we are born to inherently “sin”, for survival in this modern world. I believe that God is the part of our conscious that tells you whether you are doing something right or wrong. As humans, we have a choice of whether or not to listen to that voice. Most people tend to be selective about when they choose to listen to that voice. (in a way, because we have to sometimes.) But due to this choice (free will), we can also decide to be: there for our close friends and family, be: welcoming of strangers and/or initially misunderstood people. Simply put, whatever an individual feels they deserve or need from other people, is exactly what you need to be for other people. By becoming this person for other individuals, you essentially become that person for yourself. WHICH MEANS...you are the only person that can love yourself the way you want to be loved, and developing this love for the self, could be relative to a person having "God's grace."
But I also reckon that Jesus would probably have an effortlessly cool style, or to be fair, he would most likely be homeless. That wouldn’t make sense though, would it? Because in this modern-day dystopian society, a homeless person wouldn’t be the right person to be tasked with inspiring the world to save themselves from a never-ending rebirth cycle. If I was God, I would send myself(being god)/Jesus down for his “second coming”, in the form of a person who goes through life experiencing exactly what they need to experience in order to understand the truth of everything and essentially live as Jesus like as possible, with the random probability of whatever situation Jesus’ new form will be born into. What I mean is that the second coming of Jesus could literally be born into any situation but in order for “God’s ultimate mission” to be fulfilled, I feel that this “Jesus-like” savior must be a symbolic, but physical mirror to the insecurities of all people who bear witness. In order for the mission to be fulfilled, we as humans must learn to accept and love this person for whoever they might be, regardless of the many ways in which they shall be outcasted from this artificial and ignorantly upheld society that we live in today. This message essentially means that we should always try our best to listen to and see the people in society who are outcasted for being their true selves and only ever perceived on the surface level.
One could argue that all of this is baloney due to the sole fact that psychopathic serial killers exist, so therefore not everybody is under the grace of God. My response to that is that that’s just unlucky science that certain people are born without the ability to feel love and empathy.
BTW. I am very stoned while writing this and it is in my nature to contradict my own ideas, so hopefully that doesn’t confuse people. Idek if there is any contradictions, I don’t even know what I am saying to be honest, I just felt like I really needed to write all of this. If anybody does get what im saying and has thoughts to share I would love to hear other people’s thoughts on these subjects. I also will not apologize for writing too much because I am just being myself and “only God over me man, so you’ve got no right”. Also I’m just a fool ion no anythyng

Call me the Memetranslator, because I speak fluent Meme and can explain every Meme. In reality all of this is nonesense though, so do not take anything here seriously. Als I am not affiliated with anyone, including DFV. You tell me if its correct or not. If DFV sees this and wants me to not post these translations any further, write me a message. If DFV wants me to continue... same.
First Meme: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1789807772542067105
This is a gamer going from his layed back pose to a more concentrated one. It tells us that it is go time now! It has begun!
Second Meme: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790034263603139012
The first Part shows Thanos with the gamestop symbol. It means Gamestop is Thanos and Gamestop did something itself! The second part shows Roaring Kitty as Wolverine awakening. And in case you did not see Keith Gills face superimposed over Wolverine, it is made more clear with the Kitty outline on the Heartratemonitor. So basically this meme tells us, that Gamestop did something, which is why Roaring Kitty/DFV/Keith Gill is back.
What did Roaring Kitty see? Well... just you wait, the memes tell us.
Third Meme: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790041813379850491
We were told it is over. It is not over until we say its over! Roaring Kitty has awakened! Wake up and be ready!
​
Fourth Meme:
https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790049362846117942
This is a big one! It shows a gamestop-coded Car driving back into the green. It means the Buyback from gamestop will leed to the green! This continues the meme from the 4th of June 2021: On June 4th of 2021, Roaring Kitty posted this: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1400124740291923968
It shows the first Part of the Scene from Ready Player one, before he drives back to win basically. But it does not show the second Part. Because Gamestop did not buy BACK Shares!
What does it mean? It means Roaring Kitty wanted to see Gamestop do a buyback of shares. That did not happen though. After that moment he slowed down with memeposting and posted memes of frustration, among them a declaration, that he does not love Ryan Cohen. I will show that meme later, its the "love actually" one, because that one came back also! He expected the Buyback to finish the shorts, but Ryan did not do that, so he fell out of love with him and went silent shortly after, as the buyback was crucial to fucking the shorts somehow.
Fifth Meme: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790056912664601031
Get ready to fight, every notch/Options Step brings in more money, because of the Gamma Squeeze! And do not sell all winning options... take as many shares out of the options as possible, to help the Gamma Squeeze. (this is what the Blood on the Blade Part in the beginning is all about) But the opposition is numerous and getting ready to fight. When he moves, everybody needs to move! Coded in Red and Green, so basically he might be telling us to watch out for signals from the memes, as he they will tell us what the stock will do... though I think most people misinterpret the memes anyway and also I am not sure about the signal part. It may just be that we need to find the signals for ourselves. But we definetly need to move!
​
sixth Meme: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790064464357724451
He Moves!
Seventh Meme: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790072011810812231
A Reiteration of the "When I say 'run', RUN!"
Eigth Meme: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790079562866360327
Everybody needs to work together, this is the LAST TIME! THIS IS IT! THE TIME IS NOW! And apparently some friends also showed up... some whales, that I do not know maybe.
Ninth Meme: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790087112282239085
Its the Showdown from "the good the bad the ugly", with the musiv from that showdown played from a live Metallica Concert (They play that before they start their music as an intro) So its Showdown-Time! Unfortunatelly I do not know the Symbol that is superimposed over Thor, but it probably identifies some entity that is in this fight.
Tenth Meme: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790094668237259040
A Red coded Meme... could mean stock will go down short term .... maybe reading too much into this though. Also tells us that Hell is coming with this. Omnious!
Eleventh Meme: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790102212619669909
Another Big one. Gamestop pushed the Red Button, that they did not push in 2021. That Button being the Share Buyback? Its Another Continuation from a Meme from June 4th 2021: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1400863669895024643
That same day, right in the meme before that one, he declares he does not love R.C.. This Meme is the explanation why: Gamestop (R.C.) Did NOT Push the Red button back then.
The good news is, now apparently Gamestop did push the red button/do the buyback/maybe something else(Gamestop as a holding company related).
Twelvth Meme: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790109766389477525
"No Fighting" means, do not fight the downtrend. Let the memes guide you! You will need your money in the coming weeks!
Thirteenth Meme: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790170162265460831
Roaring Kitty is in this and has been waiting and planning all this time that the stock was beat down. But every action is followed by a reaction. Could mean that when stock is beaten down, it WILL go up again. And it will be quite a fuckin thing. Another Red Coded Meme though. Come Hang, chill, wait. And in the End it will be green after the red. Maybe. To be honest, all Memes that could mean that we should do a certain action are not all that super clear and I might be misinterpreting them. Which is funny, considering the "Did I make myself clear" in the end..... because to me that part is not clear at all!
Fourteenth Meme: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790396654971224430
Dont test me! Go back to sleep! Could mean that Roaring Kitty wanted to go back to sleep by media and the shorts. and he is like "dont test me", cause he is a one hit killer. Probably means he could just openly say what he knows and then shorts would be finished. Because coded meme messages WILL be interpreted wrongly.
Fifteenth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790404203715887238
Kitty/DFV feels Bears, Shorts and Media did fuck around with him and now they will find out. Now he is stopping "being the better person" and trying to follow their "rules". What follows is kitty ranting about the neysayers/Shorts, saying bears are fucking idiots basically!
Sixteenth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790411757120561628
Kitty comes to us. He Needs our help and we need to not ask any questions, not now not later. Seventeenth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790419301976903884
mainly green coded Video.
Eighteenth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790426851409817615 Basically because of the SEC(Security), a lot of planning is/was needed for this, as well as maaaaany people. because this is different because it has never been done before. The Goal is JUST UP.
Nineteenth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790434400494116873
This whole thing needed a whole lot of Paperwork and dancing around. Interestingly it mentions "Loophole", which could just mean that a way for the squeeze was found, building upon the eighteenth memes themes. Could also point towards Loopring, who worked together with Gamestop on the NFT-Marketplace. Could be a stretch though.
Twentieth meme: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790441953659687421
There is a signal that was sent, that was also seen by the bad guys. So I assume, whatever signal DFV saw, he is saying the Shorts also saw that signal.... and they are afraid. And a red coded Message: "FEAR IS A TOOL!" So, he might tell us to not fear the red days. Fear is just a tool. Could also mean that Shorts being afraid is good, because that fear is a tool. Cause when the shorts see the signal, some might flip and buy in. Which would good because THATS WHAT THEY SHOULD HAVE DONE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!
Twentyfirst: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790449499506192405
Coded green: A guy in front of a PC stays with a friend. Could mean Kitty is the friend and redditors collectively in front of their PCs stay and dont leave DFV alone! He may again ask us to be with him in this.
Twentysecond: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790457051115847720
Lots to unpack. A Requel means its happening again.... means the squeeze of 2021 is happening again. This is not just a company turnaround, it indeed is A SQUEEZE! And the Movie about that Sneeze fucking sucked basically.
Twentythird: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790464599575167004
Kitty comes for the Bears. He is back. This time, every bear will be a victim!
Twentyfourth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790472153470759217
DFV is supposed to be the Guy with the haircut. Basically he has the Shorts by the balls now. Now that DFV has seen the Buyback by Gamestop, he has his gun on the Short Sellers. Short Sellers are squirming and trying to shake off paperhands with a bit of money, but he is just grinning because of that ridiculous offer. Of course Shorts/Bears call him names and stuff. Then a Call/Margin Call comes in. This Meme will have a follow up meme! The Follow up Meme will be what happens after the Call, which is the Haircut guy shooting the Short guy and it will be posted once some Short-Hedge-Fund or Bank goes down because of this bet.
Another somewhat related meme was posted on June 9th 2021. https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1402641643694477317
That time DFV is the haircut guy and he is flipping the coin, which is GAMESTOP-coded. So he was waiting for a signal from Gamestop to be able to shoot his shot. He himself could NOT do what he was waiting for from GAMESTOP. I guess he was still waiting for the Buyback back then, but it was evident that it wasnt coming (and too late anyway). I bet DFV was pissed that GME did no buyback, but NOW they did, which is why he has posted the current meme.
Twentyfifth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790532552828289526
The Prisoner says "GAMESTOP"! In case its not clear, that means DFV is talking about GME. And he is ALL IN!
Twentysixth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790713748866371690
Gamestop looking Sexy and throwing us kisses! They send us the signal! (the buyback?)
Twentyseventh: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790717515523658119
Gamestop is doing something extraordinary. They do it in the open and we could see it. Maybe something with electricity. But we are not really looking.
And whatever it is, it will BEAT DOWN the Bears.
Could mean that Gamestop is buying back its stock to put it onto a NFT-Stock Market, which is why Gamestop registered as a holding company. But this is just baseless speculation.
Twentyeigth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790721293089964126
Everybody Hold, gamestop is preping something. It means we should hold, because Gamestop is preping something against whoever tried to kill Short and distort Gamestop and did short and distord Blockbuster and others.
Twentyninth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790725065585439065
Gamestops milk was poisened. Means the short and distord left moles in the company that tried to destroy it from within.
Thirty: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790728848226521547
Against all the odds, Kitty or R.C. went into this short and distort sheme, to try to win against short sellers.
Thirtyfirst: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790732615022195139
Kitty does not take the comments of the Media laying down, he fights back. Kitty mentions Wutang. Maybe it has something to do with the rumor that Wutangs one of a kind Album was somehow unter the control of R.C.. Dont know if its a cheecky call back or if this story is actually real.
Thirtysecond: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790736391124774975
Moon Night-Fortnite-Day n night are the Key motifs. So here is the thing with Fortnite: A Fortnight is 2 Weeks. In 2 Weeks, at the beginning of June, the 3 Year LEAPS expire. Moon Night is invulnerable basically.
Now this could hint towards Shorts being invulnarable because of their LEAPS, until those LEAPS expire in 2 Weeks. Then their silly game is over. Thats why everything happening right now is just the OVERTURE (See Second Meme)
Thirtythird: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790740164848861227
Media are disrespecting Kitty and he is fine with it.
Thirtyfourth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790743946764644659
I think he is saying He is a redditor and Redditors are like him. Reddit brought him Gamestop and he brought Gamestop to redditors. Something like that. And the first thing one should do to follow his Thesis is try to "Defend the Bear Case". Trying to defend the other side of a trade will show how fucked the other side actually is. Maybe that is why he and redditors know that Gamestop will explode into the green. Cause the Bear Case.... its not that good.
​
Thirty fifth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790747714440892825
DFV is telling us he is not following some get rich quick sheme. He is not a gambler degenerate. He has a plan, he makes the memes, he does not follow them! He knows and people should hear his side. Also its a play on parts of the Next Meme, he is telling us he made the memes.
Thirty sixth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790751492451754012
He is telling us that Ryan Cohen did a lot of the planing and the getting the people together, but people listen to "Avocado-in-my-anus", which is an alternate account of DFV. Is it really though? Well he told us in the last meme, that he is the one that made the memes. And Avocado-in-my-anus made 3 Memes on Cat Day.
Thirty-seventh: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790755264733626879
Again a continuation from the last meme. People saying DFV is running the whole GME Thing... meanwhile what is supposed to be DFV is just drawing dicks/making Memes. He tries to tell us, that it is R.C. doing the whole company stuff and that he has nothing to do with it basically.
Thirtieigth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790759048985612468
A continuation from the last few memes. R.C. vs DFV, who is in charge? They both say they will not. Quill is R.C., Thor is DFV. DFV kind of wants to be in charge, but begrudgingly lets R.C. do his thing. I think this plays on DFVs Anger in 2021, that R.C. did not push the red button/do the buyback back then.
Thirtyninth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790762813868175516
This is basically a repeat and rewind of a Meme posted on June 4th 2021: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1400844797229912065
In 2021, DFV was mad, that R.C. did not push the button/do the buyback and told us clearly that he did not like R.C. anymore with this meme. Now in 2024, he rewinds that meme and tells us, that he thought that at the time in 2021, but that the investment thesis evolved over time and he now sees R.C. as a supermode.
So basically he saw what R.C. was doing in 2024, which he did not in 2021 and he likes R.C. again now. Probably because R.C. pushed the button and also did some plan with loopholes and stuff that DFV may not have thought about.
Number Forty: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790766591526735887 So, R.C. had a plan and 3 years later it comes to fruition. He does mirror some of R.C.s emotes. Also he tells us "People say it cant squeeze again"..... he says it will.
​
Fortyone: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790770363627921776 Too many awards on his last post. Maybe too many eyes on him and his plan?
Forty two
https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790774146994966570 DFV transformed fully into his internet persona, because of the last meme.
​
Forty three: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790777913245421806 Too much drama around Kitty in 2021. This might be the explanation why he went dark-mode.
forty four: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790781688848450012 People want to know what the fuck Kitty was doing all these 3 years. He tells us he was waiting for this. Because it is part of the Plan. What is this? I think it is GME Buying back stock before the expiration of the LEAPS in the beginning of June. So yea, thats what he saw and why he came back.
​
Forty five: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790785463118348420 It does not matter that he, DFV, is back. The whole Squeeze Plan matters. And it is getting executed right now. Why does he say we? Because everyone holding GME is part of it. It think the many DRSed hodlers of GME are indeed part of the plan and necessary!
Forty Six: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790789242513433071 The Goofy "I will do it again" Meme. DFV will do it again.... and by "it" I think he means he will again buy a shit ton of options and stock. And I think he will post it. OR Its the shorts that are doing it again. And its shorting, but I dont know if its referring to back in 2021 and their shorting until now, under the cover of LEAPS or if it is now before June, or whatever. We will see.
Forty Seven: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790793012936851665
He tells the GME investors that say they lost money because of DFV: SHUT UP BITCH! Continued in next meme.
Fortyeight: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790796790360363016
He tells us, that last memes "Shut up, Bitch" was too good of a line to not use and that it was not meant for all redditors, but for one guy that apparently was crying about losing money because of DFV. Dont know who, I am not into reddit drama. Basically DFV just liked the line as a meme, because its funny. And he will continue to post coded memes, even if people dont understand them.
Forty-nine: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790800562654691686 DFV thinks everybody thinks he is crazy with his memes and Media slandered him.
Fifty: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790804340673789978 Continues the last meme and that people think he is a freak with his memes. But he tells us the memes bring out the people that are like him... freaks. He is talking to us oldscool redditors and webpeople that the mediapeople cant seem to get their head wrapped around. If you ever rolled your eyes at the media misusing uncomplicated memes.... yea, he is talking about you. You come to twitter to hear his trumpet/Memes!
Fifty one: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790808112741630320
DFV is the Redhanded-guy and that bears can do nothing against him. It is red-coded. But definetly Bears can do nothing against DFV and he is keeping them up. Which I think is definetly true.
Fifty two: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790812277530034448 Jim Cramer asked for this meme and DFV made it in a few minutes, just to fuck with him. Though it does show Kitty behind a chair, coded in Computershare colors and with a teddy, which is the name of R.C. Company of Kids Books. And Kitty behind the whole thing, hiding. Jo, does Teddy play into all of this??? If so this meme is one hundred layers deep. Personally I think Teddy might be important to do some stuff that Gamestop itself can not do, like for example "buy Calls on GME", but this meme is mainly there to fuck with Jim Cramer.
Fifty Three: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790815662203617755 The stock goes down, just to fuck with us.... UNTIL!!!!!!! Well, what happens after "until" will probably follow in a later meme, when shorts lose control of their button. Probably in the beginning of June, or when R.C. announces the buyback and a higher than expected number of shares locked down. No more Mr. Nice Guy for the shorts then. so keep your eyes out. Oh, and the stock will stop going down then.
Fifty four: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790819440617033914 Shorts try to crucify Kitty and Gamestop.... it speaks about the stock going down as a tool from the shorts to make us afraid. And we only ask: Is that the best you can do?
Fifty Five: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790823211745063394 Shorts taunt us, beat us down and try to make us doubt..... but the soundtrack :-D Basically this is a game for us and we will whop their asses, no matter what shorts do.... like the beatdown on the stock right now.
​
Fifty six: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790826988019528035
Now, this is interesting: Shorts made this whole thing happen. They sold before they bought. They dropped it. So it WILL go back up. It... WILL.... GO....... UP!!!!!! You feel it yet?
Fifty Seven: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790830761542664192
Continuation: Do you have a girlfriend that tells you to sell and stop listening to the mad people on Reddit? Do you have people around you, telling you the squeeze-narrative is bullshit? Trust your instinct. This continues the last meme, while you can not see the stock going up right now, it was dropped. So it will go back up. Thats the law of nature, even if it was perverted.... or turned around.
Fifty Eigth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790834536403574936
A Person is fleeing with a hidden GME Share in his pocket. It means we were running and holding GME for a long time and are tired, but we STAND UP, with GME IN OUR HANDS! I am not really "tired", but thats what the meme says.
Fifty Nine: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790894938277695671
In this meme, DFV explains to us, how he found Gamestop. Due Diligence, time, pressure and making memes, basically. In 2021 they tried to lock away DFV, but all the departments of the state found no wrongdoing... just his reddit posts, tweets and live streams.
It only takes pressure and time and DFV studied meticulously. Now I did not know every mentioned meme, so he may not have posted them. He may have posted them though and it might lead to another account of him. I doubt it would be more fruitful in information than his twitter account. After all, thats where the freaks at! And one last thing. He laments that apparently noone looked at his streams...I guess thats where all the information was after all. I think it shows content from his Gamestop-Explanation video, but I am unsure, because it is quarter before 4 AM and I am tired and I will go to bed after posting this.
Thanks for reading. Everything is made up of course, I have no idea what DFV is thinking, but it seems clear, that when you look at the whole situation, as we all did, we would come to the same conclusion, as we all did. Shorts did not close and GME seems to be a good investment. Also, look closer!.... thats the main theme. And stop doubting yourself.... yea, thats pretty much it.
So TLDR: The first days of June is where some of the magic will happen in the LEAPS. Meanwhile, R.C. has a plan with Gamestop and the buyback plays a role in it. And that plan does enable the ability for a killshot against the shorts. And it will explode in the green like never before. Also: Learn Memeish
To DFV: Write me what you think about it, if you want.

Okay, I apologize in advance because this is a long and overall kind of intense story.
TW: SA Accusations, Self Harm, like a little bit of every bad thing
So for some context; in my eighth grade to freshman year of high school, I was in a relationship with a girl we'll name Sarah. We met when I had some weird personality shift and fully switched my life around to become extroverted, and I had asked her out. She was "quirky" i guess, and that tended to let me see past her blatant flaws as "fun additions" rather than harmful attributes.
Ever since I was younger, for an irrelevant reason, I've been an extremely emotionally shut off person. There was only one person in my entire life, including every single family member, that i ever told about the aforementioned emotionally shut-off reason. As my relationship with Sarah continued, it slowly descended from playful romantic moments to an emotional dependency where she'd shut herself off from me, and force me to pull her back by supporting her relentlessly. It was pretty blatantly manipulative, but in hindsight it was hard to tell. Our relationship lasted around 9 months. Sarah slowly got more and more brutal to me, until I felt the relationship crack and decided the only way to patch the hole up was to tell her information I'd never told her about myself. A very good example was that I had, for almost half a year, issues with self-harm. This was extremely private, and I told her I never wanted it brought up in conversations that weren't relaxed, because i mentally wouldn't be in the right position.
Less than 2 days later, she said something insensitive and then texted me after not responding in 5 minutes begging me not to commit suicide. Eventually, I got covid and was quarantined for a week or two, and over the time grew to enjoy it because it was fully separate from Sarah. I realized this, and broke up with her.
She then proceeded to tell every person all the private information I'd ever told her, and tried to spread lies related to cheating, sexual assault, etc. This briefly turned some friends against me, before it became blatant she was lying since she just wasn't particularly good at it. I don't know how severe all this sounds to other people, so I'll tell a part that will immediately explain it:
When we broke up from our 3/4ths of a year relationship, in less than a week after our break up, she jerked a guy off in our school's attached library while she made eye contact with my friends.
After all this happened, I vowed not to enter a relationship for at least a year, so I could work on myself. I turned to weightlifting, felt way more confident in my body, lost some weight but still maintained an overall chubby shape, and headed back to therapy for a bit.
Over these 2-2.5 years, I became happy and confident in myself. Then I met, who I'll call, Chloe. In my honest opinion, she's the most attractive person I've ever met and I hope to god its not some limerence or honeymoon phase. She's funny, "quirky" but actually kind, and one of the only people I've met in my age group who's smarter than me in pretty much every way. We met and became at best acquaintances, I was scared to actually progress to a asking-her-out phase so I tried to get help from a friend (We'll call Brick). Brick was overall shitty, and she decided to tell Chloe behind my back. Chloe was going through a hard time with a family friend's kid making unwanted moves on her, in which Chloe ended up telling me this in the same conversation i planned to ask her out. So I waited, some stuff happened with the family friend over summer break and she had to wait until the middle-end of summer to tell this guy they were never dating and he was delusional.
SO. After summer break, another friend told me about Brick telling Chloe, and I confronted Brick, who lied and then almost immediately gave up and got mad at Chloe for *taking my side*. Inevitably, both Chloe and I unfriended Brick and cut her out, but still we weren't close. Eventually, I straight up asked her out and we went from there. Now here's the thing. I wouldn't call this a flaw, but Chloe is an extremely awkward person. She fumbles around physical contact, didn't really address the actual fact we were in a relationship to me, very rarely talked about me to other people. Now I personally am extremely proud of being in a relationship with her, but i understand it just being an innate trait. One big issue is that she doesn't compliment me, ever. She calls me sweet when I do something sappy, and that's it. Honestly though, that's not the biggest issue.
I found, throughout the relationship, there's times where I CAN'T touch her. I don't mean that she won't let me, I mean that I won't let me, like there's something fundamental that screams for me to stop. I get a moment of contemplation thinking back on my relationship with Sarah, and I get scared that maybe Chloe is uncomfortable and I'm pushing a boundary. And this isn't just physical touch; it's everything romantic or even communicative. I've managed to push past it to get her flowers on valentine's day, hug her when she's feeling sad, etc., but in our relationship that's been since October, SIX MONTHS, we've never kissed. I just can't do it. If she made the first move I'd be all for it, but she doesn't and something in my core tells me its because she doesn't want me to. It makes me feel unbelievably unattractive, and it pairs a lot with the fact that she's never once complimented anything but me being "sweet". She's never said I looked good (which is one of the few things i feel genuinely comfortable saying to her and do as much as possible as the only way to remedy the fact that i can't even kiss her), she's never mentioned anything impressive i've ever done. All of this combined makes me feel crazy, like my behavior is unwarranted. Is there any way to overcome this? i understand communication, but i physically can't do it, i genuinely can't bear the thought of making Chloe uncomfortable.

I think it is fairly clear that "Rewilding" , though originally a US term, has had far more success in Europe than the US, (though not necessarily the idea), I wanted to talk about part of why the term 'rewilding" might have greater practical utility in Europe, and Practical differences in Rewilding in the US and Europe, note I am coming from a US perspective and would appreciate European commentary, especially if you feel I misrepresented the situation

• Greater Rewilding Potential

The ecosystems of nearctic were hit much weaker by the Quaternary Extinction than Palearctic, with a larger share of terrestrial megafauna going extinct (22% vs 57%). In particular the south American origin taxa like ground sloths and glyptodonts, multiple species of each disappeared, with nothing remotely similar on earth. Additionally because Europe is just a small peninsula of Eurasia, which is connected to Africa, a much larger share of species that disappeared in Europe survived elsewhere (dhole, lion, l, common hippo, barbary macaque, Malayan porcupine, onager, moon bear etc), there are US/Canada examples of 'exotic" natives to return, ( saiga, wild horses, yak from Eurasia, thick billed parrots and jaguar from Mexico) but they are fewer and further between

• Weaker baseline/ rewilding ideas not endemic

Many US Conservationists/environmentalists, and environmentalist-minded public, already think of the arrival of white-people as the baseline, the idea that Ideally wolves/bison/pumas etc., would be allowed to recover across large shares of their precolonial range wherever they can survive, is not foreign or radical to the American public, and common among the environmentalist public, which can make the branding of it as "rewilding" and the presentation of it as a radical new idea feel awkward. while this colonial baseline makes the American public more immune to shifting baseline syndrome, and to have a nebulous " the way it was when my grandad was a kid" Idea of what is natural, it also makes it more difficult to suggest new baselines further in the past.

• Lack of Indigenous people

Sami aside, most of Europe doesn't have Indigenous communities. Native Americans have historically been viewed as basically wildlife, heavily dehumanized, and the (obviously false, hell even the First Thanksgiving Story every American knows is about them teaching the pilgrims how to farm) idea that they didn't alter the landscape and "put it to use" used to justify the stealing of their land and lives. Today this stereotype has been reclaimed and rehabilitated, Native Americans are seen as sources of environmental wisdom and guides to how the land should be managed by many left of center (not entirely wrong, as with the loss of megafauna the environment shifted to one where plant biomass controlled by fire, and many endangered ecosystems like Gary-oak woodlands, cane-breaks, and pine barrens, depended on Indigenous fore based management) , environmentalist natives often play up they're connection to the landscape as a native person, and environmentalists and indigenous communities often work together, such as when diseased salmon farms threatened wild salmon populations they used in the Pacific North-West, or when the Keystone-Xl pipeline was going to go through tribal land, acknowledging the devastating effect native Americans had on the megafauna of this continent, and how heavily they altered the local ecosystems, could potentially do severe damage to this Environmentalist-Indigenous partnership if it went mainstream.

• Greater romanticism of agricultural land

The US isn't entirely without this, there is a great romanticism of "cowboy culture" and cattle ranching, which is part of why so much federal land is used for it, but i really don't think it comes close to the UK and Irelands relationship with sheep pastures, where they have managed to turn some of the most ecologically destroyed landscapes (and unproductive farmland) endless expanses of sheep nibbled lawn, into one of if the most heavily romanticized places in the world, additionally conservation organizations like The Wildlife Trusts in the UK focus on maintaining older forms of agriculture to support the animals that use those agricultural landscapes, and in contrast to them Rewilding is a genuinely radical shift

• Declining agriculture

The reintroduction of megafauna to specific sites aside, Europe has been becoming wilder due to a reduction in agricultural land use. For a variety of reasons (declining population, concentration from rural to urban areas, etc.) , making room wild vegetation to recover and more natural habitat for local wildlife to utilize, The same large scale agricultural land abandonment is not being seen in the US, part of it is the US population is still growing (and not just because of immigration, even the Natural Population Growth Rate won't be negative till the 2040's), but probably more importantly is differences in agricultural policy, US Agribusiness has managed to become relatively export focused, The US is the second largest exporter of agricultural products( was first before Brazil overtook us), 177 billion dollars' worth of agricultural net export in 2021, meanwhile the EU and Ukraine combined where only about 50 billion, this larger export market means the share of land used by humans is less dependent on the local population, and will shrink less or less severely when the population does shrink

This is gonna sound super dumb when i write it out but here we go. So, obviously by the title, I have a bestfriend. I know I am also her best friend, her number 1 type of thing. If she had to pick 1 person to do anything with she’d choose me - and i’m aware of that. But for some reason, whenever she begins talking about or even so much as MENTIONS another friend, I get strangely angry. I’ve tried to find out why i get so mad but I just can’t work it out. I KNOW I’m her best friend, she wouldn’t choose anyone over me, but if for one second she mentions another friend i can’t stand it? There’s especially this one girl. They aren’t even very close which is why it’s so weird, but whenever she brings her up i genuinely just do not want to hear it. The only way i can so much as bear the conversation is if Im involved and i know what’s going on. Whereas when she says ‘oh, ____ was so funny today she[______]’ it just gets me so angry. almost like “how can you have fun without me?” The main problem with this, and why I KNOW it’s a problem is; I have other friends. To be fair tho, she also doesn’t like me having friendships separate to her for example i’ve got another close friend, and my best friend HATES her too. she wants to be my only number 1. I know i’m allowed friends and I do know she can have friends too, I just really want to figure out why i can’t stand her talking to anyone but I can do it perfectly fine. I know it’s not fair on her ( she doesn’t know i feel this way btw i never vocalise it ) but i honestly just want advice on how to not feel this way because like i said - i also have other friends and she very much should be allowed other friends too. Just read over that and I sound crazy, but had to get it off my chest somehow.

This post is part of a series of reviews. To see them all, click here.

Character Information

• Actor: Tom Baker
• Tenure (as a regular character): S12E01-S18E28 (178 total episodes, 42 total stories)
• Companions: Sarah Jane (Elizabeth Sladen, S12E01-S14E08), Harry (Ian Marter, S12E01-S13E04, S13E16), Leela (Louise Jameson, S14E13-S15E26), K-9 (V/As: John Leeson, Roy Skelton, David Brierley, S15E06-S18E20), Romana I (Mary Tamm, S16), Romana II (Lalla Ward, S17E01-S18E20), Adric (Matthew Waterhouse, S18E09-28), Nyssa (Sarah Sutton, S18E21-28), Tegan (Janet Fielding, S18E25-28)
• UNIT: The Brigadier (Nicholas Courtney, S12E01-04, S13E01-04), Benton (John Levene, S12E01-04, S13E01-04, S13E16)
• Other Notable Characters: The Decayed Master (Peter Pratt – S14E09-12, Geoffrey Beevers – S18E21-24), Borusa (Angus MacKay – S14E09-12, John Arnatt – S15E21-26), The White Guardian (Cyril Luckham, S16E01), The Black Guardian (Valentine Dyall, S16E26), The Tremas Master (Anthony Ainley, S18E24-28)

Retrospective

Seven seasons.
Seven season Tom Baker stuck around to play the Doctor. Seven seasons of one man having the lions' share of dialogue, screen time, and press coverage on Doctor Who. Seven seasons of the same face (well, more or less) in the opening titles. That's a lot to try and cover coherently. And because of how I write these posts after watching through the show in order, it makes it a bit difficult to think all the way back to where we began.
But I may as well make the effort so…where to begin? Well, starting back when Barry Letts was originally conceiving of the 4th Doctor, the first word that was written to describe the personality of the new Doctor was "eccentric". That's a word with a pretty broad definition, but with some specific connotations. When you think of "an eccentric", you're imagining a specific type of man, which Tom Baker immediately inhabits from the moment he steps in as the Doctor in Robot.
And it serves him well. From a plot sense, the 4th Doctor tends to come at problems from a rather unusual angle. Again, you can go back to Robot and see how he fights the titular robot, compared to the head-on way his predecessor would have done. And really, the whole concept of the Doctor as, not just a brilliant strategic thinker, or even a subtle manipulator like the 2nd Doctor could be, but as an unconventional thinker really originates with number four.
Similarly you can see a lot of the 4th Doctor's humor popping up in future incarnations. Tom Baker had a way of delivering sardonic lines like they were an inside joke between himself and the audience. While I don't think anyone else quite captures that, I still see a lot more of the 4th Doctor's kind of humor than earlier incarnations' popping up later on. But, at least early on, the humor always had an edge to it. Like the Doctor wasn't so much making jokes as he was making cynical observations in a jokey tone.
But the big innovation of the 4th Doctor era, as relates to the character of the lead, was the willingness of the writers to let the Doctor make mistakes. The most obvious example comes towards the end of the Hinchcliffe era, when we find out the Doctor accidentally gave a computer schizophrenia earlier in that incarnation, causing the events of The Face of Evil. But the Doctor occasionally slipping up, making sensible, but ultimately incorrect deductions or just choosing a poor tactic was all over the Hinchcliffe era. The earliest obvious example is probably choosing not to blow up the Dalek incubation chamber in Genesis of the Daleks, letting his desire to not make that choice override his more logical brain and trick him into believing that Gharman has Davros beat.
While it's not like the first three Doctors were never wrong. They were all, in their own way, quite frequently insensitive, but the show generally liked it's protagonist to be in the right, especially when it came to his deductions or strategies. After roughly the midpoint of Season 1, the Doctor had almost always never made a serious blunder. But by making the Doctor more fallible, the 4th Doctor era creates more tension. One of the reasons that building a horror era under Hinchcliffe works (despite my own personal tastes clashing with it) is that there is a greater sense of tension because the Doctor is allowed to make mistakes.
But not everything about the 4th Doctor is new. In particular in the early years he seems to have inherited the 3rd Doctor's general distaste for dealing with humans in authority. It's not as universal as the 3rd Doctor's general grumpiness towards anyone with a title, but it does stick out. At a few points, such as in The Seeds of Doom, the Doctor becomes some frustrated with the people he's working with he has to have Sarah Jane speak for him.
That only serves to accentuate a performance that feels decidedly inhuman, and in a good way. During the Hinchcliffe era, Tom Baker typically kept his performance energetic, yet understated. It kept him feeling unpredictable and more than a little unreliable. In Pyramids of Mars, Sarah Jane loses patience with the Doctor for a moment due to his seemingly callous behavior. It's of course then revealed that the Doctor does care, he's just focused on other things and bad at showing it. These ideas have been somewhat present in the Doctor's characterization for a while, but with the fourth Doctor they're taken up another level.
And it's worth pointing out that a lot of the time the "eccentric" characterization felt more like a mask than the real Doctor. Sometimes his frustrations would come out (for instance Planet of Evil) or his empathy would shine through in spite of himself (eg Pyramids of Mars) and it reveals that he's not quite as completely unlike us as he might like us to believe. The bravado, and the offhand remarks and the strange grins, they seem to all be there to mask fear, or affection or anger.
And then, everything changes. Not immediately of course, but during the Graham Williams era Tom Baker's performance becomes more…indulgent. It's not bad, but a lot of the subtlety of his earlier performances is lost in favor of going bigger and more over the top in many ways. Tom Baker's deep voice, already a notable feature of his performance from the beginning, starts being really emphasized. Again, we're not dealing with a performance that gets bad, just one that loses some its subtlety and edge. And in fairness, with the Williams era at the very least trying to play things a bit lighter, it makes sense that Baker's performance would get a bit broader.
But the result is that the performance also gets a bit lazier. I think at some point around Season 16, Tom Baker realized he didn't have to work hard to do a compelling performance as the Doctor. He was kind of already naturally doing it. This left Tom Baker time to focus on other things…but we'll get to that. During Season 17, there's a bit less slacking off, because he had less distractions. But then in his final season, Tom Baker is once again putting in less effort. And there's good reasons for that. His relationship with Lalla Ward was getting very messy. He was dealing with an illness during the filming of the E-Space trilogy. And he didn't like new co-star Matthew Waterhouse. Still Season 18 is where you get the sense that Baker's been in the role too long, although I do wonder if, without all the behind the scenes drama and the illness, that might not have been the case.
Of course it's not like Tom Baker was blameless for behind the scenes drama. In fact it's probably fair to say he caused a lot of it. Tom Baker was, from very early on, an incredibly difficult presence behind the scenes at on set. The first time I saw reference to it was during Terror of the Zygons, where Nicholas Courtney felt that Baker was abrasive and not taking criticism well. From that point on, Baker's attitude issues seemed to increase. Directors in particular often got the wrong end of the stick, first seen in Pyramids of Mars when Paddy Russell (herself the kind of creative person who always liked to get her own way) and Tom Baker clashed over the filming of a few scenes. And then there's what happened to Louise Jameson, who played Leela, where Baker just treated her very badly during their first season together. Eventually, Jameson stood up for herself and the two developed a functional working relationship during Season 15, but when Jameson still felt the need to warn her successor, Mary Tamm, about Baker.
But on the same note I do think it's important to acknowledge a few things. First of all, Tom Baker went from being a virtual unknown to being the star of a very popular science fiction series. That would have a tremendous effect on anybody. To hear Baker himself tell it, Doctor Who essentially became the central feature of his life while he was working on the show. A lot (in fact, I think all) of the stories of Baker being difficult revolve around his desire for more control over the show, and seen through that lens, it kind of makes sense why. For another thing, it's not like every single director or co-star had a difficult relationship with Baker. Elizabeth Sladen and Ian Marter got along with Baker perfectly well. Mary Tamm did stand up for herself from the beginning and never had any major issues with Baker. And of course there are several directors who managed to work with Baker without issue. Tom Baker was difficult to work with, yes, but far from impossible and anyone at the time would have told you that what he gave to the show was worth the trouble.
In the past for these posts I've always spent at least a little time talking about the Doctor's relationships with his companions. For the 4th Doctor, so this doesn't turn into a six paragraph section on companions, I'll just make a general observation here: the 4th Doctor frequently ended up in the role of tutor or mentor. It starts, of course, with Leela, and while the idea of the Doctor teaching Leela to be a more intellectual version of herself never played out to the extent some might have hoped, it's still a pretty consistent part of their relationship. And then the dynamic is flipped with Romana, who the Doctor has to teach to be more instinctive and intuitive. Actually the Romana and Leela comparison tells us a lot about the Doctor: he doesn't actually value one form of knowledge above the other. Leela needs to learn science and civilization because those are the gaps in her knowledge. Romana needs to learn intuition and practical abilities because those are the gaps in her knowledge, and the Doctor largely treats the job of teaching his companions these things the same way.
Towards the end of his tenure, the Doctor picks up one more student: Adric. What Adric needs to be taught is a bit different than the others. He's already an intellectual powerhouse – he's got a badge for mathematical excellence and everything. And he's not short of practical experience. What he lacks is a kind of empathy. Now Adric isn't entirely unempathetic, but he's a sullen teenager a lot of the time. Sometimes he just doesn't care very much for others. You can see the Doctor trying to get Adric to consider more clearly the consequences of his actions, or realize that, as intelligent as he is, there are just things he won't know.
Of course none of this applies to Sarah Jane or Harry (or K-9, but there's not much to talk about there). The Doctor's relationship with Harry was mostly just Harry ending up as the butt of the Doctor's jokes and Harry being confused. As for Sarah Jane, well that's another story. Honestly, I don't think this was necessarily explored as much as it could have been. The two seemed to have a weird relationship where they'd antagonize each other, only to come back together. At the end of Hand of Fear Sarah Jane makes a big scene of wanting to leave the TARDIS, only to protest when the Doctor actually throws her off, and it reads like, up to that point, that had just been part of their friendship. That Sarah Jane would blow off the steam from her adventures (like being mind controlled for the 17 millionth time) by complaining at the Doctor and declaring she'd leave, only to stick around in the end.
Which is, I guess, what you do when your traveling companion is as unpredictable and eccentric as the 4th Doctor. Tom Baker's iteration of the Doctor isn't my favorite, but it's undeniable he redefined the part, to the point that the 4th Doctor is this clear dividing point in how the character is written. As one final example, before the 4th Doctor era, a defining part of the Doctor's character was that he was a capital "S" Scientist. But in the 4th Doctor era, that fades. He's still a scientific genius, but the characterization shifts from Scientist to enthusiastic amateur who happens to know more than the professionals. And that idea of the Doctor, as a traveling dilettante who somehow is smarter than everything around him, while it's been there from very early on, really takes shape in this era.
Tom Baker's performance is entirely unique, his very particular voice, his odd, often out of place facial expressions that seem to indicate the opposite of what they should, and occasional outbursts that reveal the real Doctor, I don't think you can point at anyone else that's ever done it remotely like him. And I don't think anyone could. There were a lot of factors that led to 4th Doctor becoming the most popular and beloved Doctor of the classic era, possibly even of the show itself. The timing was right as the show expanded into new markets. The fact that the beginning of his time on the show coincided with a run of very popular stories can't have hurt. But Tom Baker was always the main reason the 4th Doctor worked.

10 Key Stories

10 key stories for the character, listed in chronological order
Robot: Tom Baker's first story as the Doctor does a remarkably good job setting up how the 4th Doctor is going to operate going forwards. Though perhaps lacking in the subtleties that the 4th Doctor would develop through the rest of the Huinchcliffe era, Baker's oddly captivating performance is there right from the word go. He's a bit goofy from the regeneration, but nonetheless finds himself having a quiet moment at the end of the story with Sarah Jane.
Genesis of the Daleks: The Doctor is sent back in time to avert the creation of the Daleks and he…just…can't…do it. That scene of the Doctor holding two wires next to each other, unable to touch them together and just win is probably Tom Baker's first genuinely great performance as the Doctor. His relief at seemingly being relieved of that responsibility as palpable. And his final scene as he Harry and Sarah Jane travel back to the Nerva with the Time Ring, offering up one last bit of hope in spite of how badly things seem to have gone firmly establishes the optimistic nature of the character first introduced earlier in Ark in Space.
Pyramids of Mars: The Doctor's sometimes seemingly callous nature is revealed to be more of a mask than the reality of the character. He's got more serious things on his mind than the death of one man…but that doesn't mean he doesn't care for the death of that man.
The Deadly Assassin: The Doctor is on his own for the first time in this incarnation, and finds himself battling against his old enemy the Master. Caught up in Gallifreyan politics the Doctor suddenly feels small on the backdrop of greater schemes. Though he does still manage to sort of get himself elected as president which I'm sure will have no effect in the future…
The Face of Evil: The Doctor is forced to confront a serious error he made a long time ago. What he did to Xoannon, a computer developing sentience, and the way that that mistake ended up hurting the people of the planet he's landed has far reaching consequences which he's forced to help undo. He also makes a new friend…sort of accidentally.
Horror of Fang Rock: And things were going so well with Leela. While the primary confrontation with a Rutan is engaging, for my purposes here, what I'm interested in is the relationship between Leela and the Doctor. It starts out well, with the two working as a great team. And then Leela takes things too far, drawing the ire of the Doctor in a way that we hadn't necessarily seen before. It doesn't ultimately go anywhere, but it's very telling as moment all the same.
The Invasion of Time: The Doctor decides he'd like to be president. It's a ruse, or course, because the Doctor would never actually want to be president, but seeing him play the villain for a few episodes is quite intriguing. The story has some major issues, but seeing the Doctor play a bit more of the strategist and playing a bit more of a long game in this story is still fun.
The Ribos Operation: After Leela's departure, the Doctor finds himself with a new and completely different kind of companion to take under his wing. Having to show Romana that she can't always trust someone because they have an "honest face", beginning to show her to think more practically, this all shows a different kind of teachestudent relationship from the one we saw with Leela. Also the respectful yet frustrated way he deals with the White Guardian is fun.
Shada: Kind of odd to to include a story that was never actually completed as a "key" story here, but I think this has the best representation of the Doctor during this era. More relaxed, and largely just out having fun with his best friend Romana, the Doctor during this story still shows his sense of duty when Chronotis has messed up. His odd musing at the end of the story about what future people might think of him is a nice capstone to the era.
Logopolis: So much is going on in this one. This story has the perfect blend of all of the various ways in which the 4th Doctor has been characterized throughout his tenure. Teaching Adric about new kinds of science and responsibility, taking aboard Tegan and Nyssa in spite of difficulties, but still having a go at all three of them at one point. And then there's his alliance with the Master at the end, which proves his downfall. There's even a bit of that fallibility coming through when he mistakes the Master's initial goals.

Rankings

1. City of Death (10/10)
2. The Brain of Morbius (10/10)
3. Horror of Fang Rock (9/10)
4. Genesis of the Daleks (9/10)
5. The Face of Evil (8/10)
6. State of Decay (8/10)
7. The Robots of Death (8/10)
8. The Ribos Operation (8/10)
9. Warriors' Gate (8/10)
10. The Pirate Planet (8/10)
11. Terror of the Zygons (7/10)
12. The Leisure Hive
13. The Stones of Blood (7/10)
14. The Ark in Space (7/10)
15. Shada (7/10)
16. Image of the Fendahl (7/10)
17. Underworld (7/10)
18. The Keeper of Traken (7/10)
19. Logopolis (7/10)
20. The Seeds of Doom (7/10)
21. Full Circle (7/10)
22. The Talons of Weng-Chiang (6/10)
23. The Hand of Fear (6/10)
24. The Sontaran Experiment (6/10)
25. The Sun Makers (6/10)
26. Destiny of the Daleks (6/10)
27. The Androids of Tara (6/10)
28. The Deadly Assassin (5/10)
29. Pyramids of Mars (5/10)
30. Robot (5/10)
31. The Sun Makers (5/10)
32. Nightmare of Eden (5/10)
33. The Masque of Mandragora (4/10)
34. Planet of Evil (4/10)
35. The Creature from the Pit (4/10)
36. The Armageddon Factor (3/10)
37. The Power of Kroll (3/10)
38. Revenge of the Cybermen (3/10)
39. The Android Invasion (3/10)
40. The Invisible Enemy (2/10)
41. The Horns of Nimon (2/10)
42. Meglos (1/10)

Forty-two stories is a lot. I'm not even sure how I feel about this ranking. Of course, as is well documented by this point I'm not a horror guy so a lot of Hinchcliffe-era horror stuff ranks a lot lower than you might have expected if you aren't following along with this review series. Beyond that though, there's just a lot of variety of stories. The ranking naturally has a lot of uncertainty to it. Am I really confident that Shada the unfinished story belongs exactly one slot below The Ark in Space from all the way back in Season 12, which I haven't watched since I reviewed it? Obviously not. And there's a ton of other stuff like that. But this is probably as accurate to my preferences a ranking as will ever exist.
Doctor Era Rankings
These are based on weighted averages that take into account the length of each story. Take this ranking with a grain of salt however. No average can properly reflect a full era's quality and nuance, and the scores for each story are, ultimately, highly subjective and a bit arbitrary.

1. 3rd Doctor Era (6.8/10)
2. 2nd Doctor Era (6.5/10)
3. 4th Doctor Era (6.0/10)
4. 1st Doctor Era (6.0/10)

A lot of you may be surprised at the relatively low rating that the 4th Doctor era gets. First of all, it's worth noting that a 6/10 is by no means a bad rating. Any individual story I rate a 6/10 is a story that, while noticeably flawed, I still enjoyed. As an average for an entire era, especially one that lasts 7 seasons through three (technically four) different producers, that's not bad. But of course what's dragging the rating down is that the Hinchcliffe era just isn't to my taste and the Williams era, while more to my liking in theory, in practice never lives up to its potential.
Next Time: Well there's a new Doctor in town and he's feeling out of sorts. Let's bring him to a nice medieval castle where the rooms keep repeating. That should make him feel better.

Just to preface this, we're long distance and started dating almost 8 months ago. We've had several visits and we've been together in person for around a total of 2 months so far, with 4 more months of visits planned this year.
Recently I read through some of our older messages, I guess because I was missing her. And it started to dawn on me just how much it feels like things have changed. For the first bit of our relationship, she'd write me poems, send me letters, tell me how in love with me she is. I'd wake up to paragraphs of messages, with her telling me how much she missed me while I was asleep, telling me how much she loves me and how she needs me, how she can't bear to be away from me. Her replies would be so quick, and she'd seem so eager to talk to me. I'd send her selfies and she'd get so excited, complimenting me and saying she loves me. We'd video call all the time, watch shows together, play video games together. When I left after our first ever visit together, she was sobbing and we couldn't let each other go, and she sent me tons of messages saying how much she loves me, asking when I think we can live together, how upset she was and how much she misses me.
But a couple months ago, I started to feel like things were seeming less enthusiastic on her end. I brought it up to her and she got very upset, and she told me how terrible she felt about it, saying she'd be better for me (I felt really bad about this because I didn't want to upset her at all, I just wanted to let her know because I didn't want to worry her). And that was that.
But more recently things feel like they've gotten even worse. Her replies will be incredibly slow sometimes (relative to how they used to be), sometimes taking up to an hour to reply to me because she gets distracted with TikTok or games, which makes me feel like she'd rather be doing that than talk to me. The late night messages when I'm asleep, the letters and the poems stopped months ago. I've done similar things since the start of the relationship, and still continue to do so. I don't feel like this is just a love language or the way she communicates love thing, because she's always been incredibly full of love, it just feels like her heart isn't really in it anymore. We haven't video called in a long time, and any time I've suggested it her camera just ends up facing the ceiling. Playing games together is a thing of the past too.
The last two visits we had, she didn't shed a single tear or even seem all that sad when I/she left. I cried several times leading up to me leaving every time, and was extremely upset. I mentioned this kind of, saying something about how she handled it so much better than I did, and her reasoning was she was trying to be strong and be there for me.
I feel like I'm partly to blame for this, as I get very anxious sometimes and get upset by things that are kinda stupid. I've never taken it out on her or gotten mad or yelled or anything, and we've always talked about it, and she's always said that its okay and she understands that I get anxious. But my theory is that she's just starting to get tired of me. I guess maybe I'm not the person she fell in love with? I don't know.
I'm just scared. I love this girl with everything I have. I see my entire life, my entire future with her. And she says she feels the same, but I'm starting to worry that its no longer the case. I don't know what to do. I know I should bring it up, but I don't know how and I don't want to upset or worry her. What can I do to deal with this?
TLDR: Worried that my long distance girlfriend isn't in love with me anymore. She doesn't seem as invested or enthusiastic about us anymore, and I'm scared and don't know what to do about it.

Hi all, I'm looking for some help/advice on something I really don't know how to confront. I'll try to make this short but detailed....
I (20F) started talking to this guy (24) maybe 3 months ago, we met on our university campus. He was super sweet and attentive in the first month of talking, but he couldn't really commit to plans. He still can't. For example, we'll make plans to do something (we've been making plans to get coffee for like 2/3 months now) but he just NEVER shows up, and doesn't reply to calls or texts until hours later. I told him I didn't like that, I hated being flaked on. He apologized and said he'd try do better. We last saw each other properly like 2 months ago, which is when 1) he told me he had Alexithymia and tried to explain it to me but didn't exactly go into detail, 2) he promised he would try and do better to be more consistent and not flake on me, and 3) we kissed (not significant to them, I've read) and we talked (once again) about coffee, which he said he would do, and never did.
This is when he REALLY started switching up on me. That weekend, I did a bunch of research into Alexithymia, simply to try and understand more about it, and sent him 3 simple surface-level questions I wanted him to answer because I wanted to understand it from his perspective. He never did. We made plans for the week after, and he bailed every day that week, once again not replying to texts asking where he was until hours later, always with an excuse, which I found hard to believe, but accepted anyway because I knew he had a busy schedule. It's not the fact that he's always busy that deeply bothers me, it's the fact that he neglects to inform me and I end up moving my schedule for something that never happens, which also makes me think he doesn't care enough, but then again, it may just be neurotypical thinking and the way we prioritise plans differ. I've gotten mad/sad/calmed down and tried to explain this frustration with regards to inconsistency and how difficult it becomes to try and understand how his brain works countless times. I've written notes, I've typed paragraphs, sent short texts, voice notes, made playlists, tried to speak about it face-to-face for months now, to no avail. I've tried to make it sound less emotional because he's explained to me that he finds those difficult to understand, but how do I know if he gets it if he never gives me the feedback I'd need to adjust how I communicated where needed so we can understand each other? It feels like he just ignores/avoids it or he's lost interest, or he doesn't know how to verbalise it, but I don't know because we are NEVER able to talk about it. I'm simply tired of trying, especially because I have the feeling I'm being ghosted anyway because my efforts have come off as needy or too emotional and overwhelming to him, but on the other hand, he has said before that in his previous relationships, his partners wouldn't exactly try to understand where he was coming from and brush his actions off as ''uncaring'', whereas he's explained to me that he ''does care, just differently'' (his words). It's just disheartening when I'm unsure of the flaws in my communication and he refuses to try (I feel like).
(That ended up WAAAAYYYY longer than I thought it would). But what do I do? Do I just leave it?(I know he won't contact me again if I just stop texting him). Is there even any way to salvage this?

Someone posted the other day about a question the AICPA released regarding a note payable. In a nutshell, the question asked what the interest expense was for the party who did not issue the note.
My brain has been broken since seeing this question because of the word "issued." Everything I find both online and in the Becker textbook says the ISSUER of a note is the person who receives cash now and pays the note back. However, that question and other commenters on the post presented the "issuer" of the note as the party who will be paid back.
So is the general internet and the Becker textbook wrong? I mean seriously, go type in things like "issuer of a note payable" or "company a issued a note" into Google and see how many results portray the issuer of a note as the one who pays the money back vs. the one who is paid back. Or go to the Notes Payable section in F4 of the Becker textbook where they refer to the company issuing a note as the company with the interest expense who is paying the note back: "a company purchases a machine for $10,000 and issues a $10,000 note payable bearing no interest due in five years." In the Becker example, that company goes on to record interest expense! This is the exact opposite of what happens in the AICPA question.
SO AM I ALSO DUMB (I fear this to be the case) OR WHAT SORT OF GASLIGHTERY IS THIS?!
Link to original post: https://www.reddit.com/CPA/comments/1cryr9m/am_i_dumb_o

I’m going through the entire Bible for the first time.
I’m in Genesis, and I must admit, I’m est really confused. Here’s a few reasons:

1. The numeric values of peoples ages, when they became fathers, when they had kids, how old their kids were, etc - I’m just struggling to understand the value of why this information is included in biblical text? From my perspective, it seems like non-value adding content. For example, see the first few paragraphs of “from Shem to Abram” in Genesis 11.
   
2. See Genesis 6: 5-8. I’m reading the NIV version of the Bible. On 2 accounts in the above text, the word “regret” is used. I’m failing to wrap my head around God having regrets. I’ve looked at God as the all knowing, all wise, the only one aware of the past, present, and future. Regrets come from mistakes or matters one wish they could change. I don’t believe the all knowing or all wise would have regrets or wish they could change things, as that contradicts the characteristics mentioned.
   

Surely when God created human he knew what humans would do.
I recall many Christian lectures where the pastor was talking about God knowing YOU before you were even born. He orchestrated your life, etc.
How can God have regrets and regret making humans on earth?

1. The great flood occurred to wipe out the wickedness and restart. I’m held up here for 2 reasons:

A — Jesus came after the great flood to save the world. He’d only need to save the world if things went off track again. They did. But then is it correct to say the flood didn’t serve its purpose?
B — one may argue there is more violence in this world following the death of Jesus than before Jesus or before the great flood. If God stepped in to cleanse the world with the flood thousands of years ago, why not cleanse it again?
I write these questions to not debate religion. I recently accepted Christ in my life due to searching for God for many years and Jesus presented himself to me after sincere prayer.
I ask these questions as I want to know more about God, biblical text, and increase my knowledge. Please know, I ask these questions with great respect and hunger for an understanding.

I should note that, when I say "beginner", I don't just mean the Killers you have by default, I mean Killers someone who's brand new could play. He isn't the best Killer out of the ones a beginner will have. Hell, I wouldn't even say he's the best out of the three launch Killers, I'd put him right in the middle, between Hillbilly and Wraith. I do, however, think he's the best for learning the game.
For starters, his power's dead easy: Set a bear trap, and if a Survivor steps in it, they're immobilized until they're either freed or downed. You've got the other intricacies-there are traps already on the map, Survivors can disarm traps, Survivors are injured if they escape a trap, and so on-but at its core, that's about it. Over time, you'll learn where good and bad places are for traps, and this will, in turn, teach you a bit about general concepts of being a Killer. For example, pallet and pallet loops-how do you work against them, how do you make them work for you, and how do you decide which one to do?
Then, there's his perks, which are far from the best in the game, but still very solid. Brutal Strength is great for Killers that might have to deal with pallets more than usual, e.g. Wraith. Agitation is good if you can handle Survivor wiggling, but them escaping fully could be a problem. Unnerving Presence pairs well with the Doctor or any other character that benefits from Survivors being in their Terror Radius, or if you just don't want Survivors completing skill checks.
Is the Trapper good? No. Is he easy? Yes. Is he educational? Also yes, IMO.