Nursing diagnosis for diet

Hi everyone. I made a post regarding pre-lab anxiety and wanted to give an update.
I’m not really sure exactly what my doctor found (she spoke with me briefly I think as I was waking up in recovery?? But I might be making that up idk😂). The jist is that she found a lot of endometriosis deep in my pelvis and could not remove it. She sent biopsies to path but I’m seeing her in two weeks for post op.
The anesthesiologist did not give me anything for anxiety, or extra fluids for pots despite me asking (I waited 3 hours to get called back and was panicking the whole time).
I had a very hard time waking up from anesthesia, and kept nodding off. The time was approaching 7pm and it felt like the nurse was rushing me out and told me to “sleep it off”. I don’t remember much from this part since I was so out of it, and I couldn’t walk or turn my head from wooziness. My heart was also racing, then slowing, then racing whenever I shifted my body.
Today is the morning after, and the gas pains are HORRENDOUS. So bad it brings me to tears but then crying hurts too. I can’t move. I’m trying to walk but it is so incredibly painful. I’ve taken 4 Gas-x so far and going to try to keep walking.
Oh and the top of my right thigh is numb in one spot.
Despite all this, I can’t put into words how a diagnosis makes me feel. I’ve had 12 years of painful painful periods and I was told to exercise, eat leafy greens, manage my stress/anxiety, etc.
It feels good.
TLDR: didn’t have a great experience at hospital, and gas pains have me in tears, but I am so happy to have a diagnoses. Also did anyone experience numbness in their right upper thigh after their lap?

Hey all, so I'm probably reasonably older than a lot on this sub (35,M) and I was diagnosed when I was ~4 or so (so 1992-3 ish) so you know it must a been something if you could get an ADHD diagnosis back then!
My mother at the time was recommended that I be placed on meds to help me and control me, but she decided to go an alternative route and just heavily restrict my diet and take me to the park everyday for like 3 hours to help me 'run it off'.
Fast forward 30 or so years and now I'm super tired most of the time, struggling to focus on many things or even derive a lot of pleasure from things (I've also suffered from depression with varying intensity since 13 or so). Normally this wouldn't be an issue, but my job has moments that require a lot of intense writing and I'm struggling to maintain focus or have any desire to do it (I like mountains and that's all that is on my mind).
I've done a variety of recreational drugs and with that comes a few amphetamines, I've noticed that I didn't necessarily experience a 'focus' effect from them so I've thought if I ever sought a prescription for meds that I will most likely not experience the classic 'focus' that would be expected in an ADHD individual.
Just wanted to know about everyone else's experiences and whether they consider their medications to actually be useful/ beneficial/ work?

I worked my ass off doing research and selling a bunch of my stuff to get the plane tickets because I'm pretty broke. I was excited for this trip because I was accepted into a German university for graduate school and figured I'd get a good introduction to living in Germany, and to be honest, Berlin itself has been great, all the locals I've met have been very nice to me, but my professors and everyone working from my university have been really unprofessional and tricky and now I'm in an unsafe position.** EDIT to add that when I say Friday I mean tomorrow, so I have about 1 day until getting kicked out of the hotel. I also didn't need a visa to get here, though I will be getting one for my graduate program in September, but this current program was less than a month long so it was counted as group tourism basically.
Long explanation, skip to the bottom for the TLDR:
Before I even got on a single plane, I found out customer service for my phone carrier and I had a misunderstanding a month ago when I bought my international plan and found out about 3 days in advance that my phone would be a brick here. I told the professor immediately and she said worse case scenario she would help me get a working phone when I landed, since it's kind of needed for basic safety. Just half a day before the first flight, I got bitten by a few deer ticks and said I might also need help scheduling a doctors appointment when I land, because our travel insurance required a working phone number and it was too late for me to make an appointment before my flight. The professor said that was fine and I would be helped with that as well, so I got on the first plane in full confidence.
When I landed, a day passed without either thing being handled, and that was fine by me, but then multiple days passed and the professor kind of just waved it off. I'd started to feel a little unwell and asked the professor to help me find a doctor and she said it was just jetlag.
One of the first days of the program we went to a restaurant, and the seating was a very small reserved room with our entire 20+ cohort in it. I have CPTSD and am claustrophobic and knew immediately that I did not want to sit there, so I asked the professor if she could help me ask the staff request a seat for me in the outside dining area, or, if one wasn't available, that I could just sit outside on a nearby bench and skip dinner. She told me the room was reserved for us and this was on the itinerary so I HAD to sit there, and when I again said I didn't think I could, she demanded I sit there again and condescendingly asked me if I really couldn't or just didn't want to. I started to cry as quietly as possible and then that suddenly made her understand, so we went outside and I explained that, in my opinion, trying to force any adult to do something they're uncomfortable with and have said "No" to is bad enough to me normally, but since I have a disability, it's also ableist. I tried to frame that sentiment in a "I'm sure you didn't mean it this way" kind of way but she still took offence to the criticism and I think that led to the rest of this.
After that happened I was feeling more ill and the professor said, "Oh, do you think it's lyme? Because if it was lyme you'd have a rash. It's probably still jetlag". At this point I said again that I needed some help getting a working phone number and medical advice from a doctor and she told me to take responsibility for myself. I'd bought myself a SIM card but it needed some unexpected trouble shooting and everything was in German (I know some German but only around A2 level and absolutely none is required for this program), so I'd already tried to help myself, and again could not schedule myself an appointment without a working phone.
I asked the professor if she could put her phone number in just to let the appointment scheduling process complete and she said no. I asked if she had any other ideas and she again told me to figure it out. I wound up walking 20 minutes through Berlin alone with no working phone to a doctor's office unannounced, barely able to fill half the sign in sheet and navigate the language barrier, and successfully got the antibiotics I needed and a lyme diagnosis. The nurse even asked why I came alone. Thankfully for me everyone in the doctors office including the doctor was very very nice to me despite the curveball I through them.
Not long after all that the professor sent an email with me cc'd in to the office of international affairs at the university, and the email said, in effect, "This student said they have a disability and can't stick to the itinerary and therefore I think they're not a good fit for this program and should go home." I immediately responded that that wasn't accurate, that I just could not sit inside a restaurant or other very cramped space, etc. Then I figured while I was at it I'd tell them about the total lack of care for my safety or wellbeing here. After sending that email the professor confronted me and tried to pretty much intimidate me into admitting everything was all my fault or something, I honestly have no clue, I think she was just upset and trying to make me feel better somehow. I think my criticism really got to her and made her kind of just hate me and that she wanted to make me make her feelings make sense. No clue honestly.
Anyway, after that the office of international affairs reached back out to me and were acting way nicer than they were when I first enrolled in this program, which felt sus, but I was haggard and miserable and wanted to be able to trust them so I did. They told me if I was considering coming home early for my own health and safety, that I could unenroll that night to make sure the alum who gave me a scholarship would at least be refunded, but that I had to do it that night since it was the last day to drop for a refund. I said I wasn't sure if I wanted to leave the program, and they said if you're considering it unenroll and if you want to stay after further discussion then we can probably just go ahead and re enroll you.
So I did it. The next day I'm scheduled to meet with someone who told me the day or so before that she would be my advocate and that she was there to listen to and represent me, and when I join the zoom meeting, it's her, but also two other people from the international affairs office. They're telling me my return flight has already been scheduled and everything and that they were sending out a person to chaperone me on the flight, because, though it was totally ignored on my flights here, I'd mentioned at the very start of the application process that I'd been a human trafficking victim before and ideally wanted to fly with someone instead of alone. All of this had less than a 24 hour turnaround from me unenrolling.
I realized hours after unenrolling that I don't want to leave the program, I just want to actually be allowed to engage in the program as it was advertised and as it was promised, and that leaving the program, to me, feels like capitulating to the professor being an asshole to me and like removing liability from the university. In short I think I pretty much got tricked into unenrolling. I told them I didn't want to leave early and they told me they already scheduled everything and got a refund for my hotel room, so if I don't take the flight back Friday, I will be homeless on the streets for 2 weeks until the flight that I personally purchased for the 31st, and that since I hit the unenroll button, my housing, health, or safety will no longer be the universities problem after Friday.
So, the fuck do I do with this, ya'll got any life advice? Or know any cheap hostels or something? Or even just some moral support haha.
TLDR: Got tricked into hitting unenroll button after damaging professors ego, most likely purposely tricked to absolve the university of responsibility because how the profs were treating me and everything I described probably did make me a liability even if not my fault, but I'm mad and I'm enjoying Berlin and don't want to leave early or let the university get away with risking my health and safety multiple times with no apologies.
Sidenote: The professor also said a lot of things insinuating that, because she didn't like me, neither would any of my professors in my grad school program will, and as much as I think she said it in a vindictive way, I will admit it has me second guessing if I want to actually pursue that in September. After all this I just feel like running from academia in general.

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Chapter 1: the event
It was the fall of my intern year as I bean my off service trauma rotation. This month was ubiquitously notorious for being the most labor intrusive and least productive rotaion of our emergency medicine program. Knowing this I entered with the intention of simply surviving the month.
Another intern and I let’s call them A for sake of ambiguity, we’re the first emergency medicine residents to roste on the trauma services that year. A shaky start would be an understatement. In the words of chance the raper “like my grama with the Parkinson’s playing operation.” Would better describe it. Medically we did well. We were very competent and completed our work daily, but communication and coordination was non existent. Our Cheifs had informed us that Tuesday was our day of and the Trauma cheif residents had minimum communication with us, or our Cheifs as it seams when A and I did not report on Tuesday they sternly made their dissatisfaction known.
I have struggled with insomnia sense the age of 10. Had 2 sleep studies by this point in my life and been prescribed nearly every sleeping aid on the market. The 80-94 hr work weeks of our trauma rotaion only worsened my insomnia. My lack of sleep likely contributed to a less than prime adaptive immune system and 2 days out of my trauma rotaion I contracted strep like symptoms with associated nausea, requiring me to call for a sick day the next day. No the first day that I felt too ill to work. I was not fully aware of the reporting process. I reported to my Chiefs, but I did not believe I could come to work tomorrow with amble time and notice, however I was somewhat delayed in letting their Cheifs know, because the surgical chiefs rotated every few days and I did not know who my was going to be the next day. The second day which I had to call out sick I was able to locate the cheif for the next day and reprot according to our university’s protocol, which requires that if a resident feels they are not fit for work they must not come in and the university must have staff coverage without any fear or implementation of punitive actions.
I had finally survived to the last week of my trauma rotaion and I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. What I could not see was the pile of stress, shitty diet, lack of mental well ness and sleep deprivation which I was pushing down to reach the light. By this time I had seen a psychiatrist regularly for sleep medication. I had mentioned to him that I had been experiencing more stressed lately and feel that I might be depressed. he reassured me that it was likely only due to my circumstances, given the difficulty of the trauma rotation and wish to reassess once the rotation was over. Looking back I had to fill the habit of drinking more than I usually do. My only on nights before I have days off became 1-2 beers every other night. All of this repressed unhealthy shit finally pushed bad on September 23rd. That night I was at work even later than usual, I stayed up later than usual and couldn’t seem to fall asleep. With the stress of only having minimal sleep and knowing I only had 2 more days of trauma left, I took an extra dose of my sleeping medication.
I opened my eyes to the fighting sight of sun beaming in my window and I instantly knew I was late. (Sense I hadn’t seen the sun in a month) . Due to my need for scrupulous sleep hygiene I have been sleeping with my phone of and away for me. I rushed to grab it and watched as the little Apple logo seamed to glow on the screen for an eternity. Then in conjunction with its fading I saw 3 missed calls from my director, a text from college A and 2 missed calls from the surgical director. Still, I was able to calm myself, knowing that resident A had been late to this rotation by a few hours 2 other days and nothing came of it. I called my director back and he asked me to report to his office where I was greeted by my director, my coordinator and another emergency medicine facility.
With the only explanation of: “we just want you to get better”, I was handed a letter, to my relief it did not entail my termination, but a declaration of administrative leave and a requirement to undergo an evaluation at a well known university in Florida.
Lake any other savvy millennial, I did my research. By research I mean numerous google searches and screeches thru the depts of redit. To my dismay I discovered that in order for a residency program to fire you, they must first initiate an administrative suspension. I would soon find out however, being terminated would have been a delightful outcome compared to what ensued.
I spend the next few weeks in the wallos of regret and depression. I indulged in higher qualities of alchohol then I ever have before. I all but ceased communing with peers, and abruptly stoped any physical activity I had once enjoyed. Frightened as I was I was ensured, it will be ok “we just want you to get better”
Chapter 2 The evaluation : guilty until proven innocent I did exactly as instructed and scheduled an evaluation, I supposed that this was either a mental evaluation to assess if I’m fit for work with plans of termination or it actually was an evaluation to better treat my insomnia. To this day I regret my ignorance, and wish I had researched the process more. The Hindi / sand-skrt idea of Hamsa 🪬 is that in order to do any good you must have full knowledge or else good intentions can result in harm. I truely believe my director had good intentions, however but him and I did not have full knowledge of the nature of this evaluation.
Looking back see how easily I could have avoided my troubles by asserting legal aid at this point or even by researching this evaluation process more in depth. If one searches impaired practitioner program which I now know this evaluator works for, the search entire will populate 5 or 6 layferms along side their home website and there is a valid reason for this.
If one every finds themself in this process I employ you to bring a DSM to your evaluation or at least be familiar with the most common use disorders in the DSM-5, because your evaluation will turn into a dance of questions where the evaluator attempts to trap you in a round about way to stating something that may qualify for one of the diagnosis. I have provided an image from the DSM-5 below outlining AUD, which the evaluator concluded that I had the most severe from:
Image
Example***** Here are 10 examples of how he fraudulently assessed me taken directly from his assessment note.

1. Evaluator: Have you ever stoped drinking in the last year.

Me: yes I stoped every week day, I was only drinking on the weekends, until two weeks ago.
-Evaluator uses stoping and starting every week to qualify for 2 or more unsuccessful attempts to stop in the last year “There is a persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control alcohol use.”

1. Evaluator Have you ever had withdrawal symptoms

Me no
Evaluator Well Have you ever had a hangover? You know that’s a from of acute withdrawal
Me: yes in college, I had a few but that was years ago and I’m pretty sure the pathophysiology is different.
Evaluator uses this to count for withdrawal symptoms even tho is was more than a year ago

1. Evaluator: Have you even taken your sleeping medication on a day or night which you drank? Me: Yes, I took my prescriptions are prescribed but I never drank close to bed

Evaluator: qualified this as dangerous behavior with alcohol (where the DSM gives examples such as unprotected sex and drunk driving). The sleeping medication I was on is not a benzodiazepine therefore it is not deadly with alcohol. I personally have seen many patients in the ED who have taken their entire bottle of the medication and drank copious amounts, we just monitor them over night and rehydrate them

1. Evaluator Has anyone told you you drink to much or been worried about you Me: No I drink much less than my friends

Evaluator what about your girlfriend? Me: well she actually doesn’t drink at all she doesn’t like it. She often buys me beer for The Weeknd’s tho. One time we went to a movie and she got a little irritated because I waited for beer then complained about them not having any craft beer. So she said, “you couldn’t have just said no” and drank something else. However, she apologized after and said it’s worth waiting if it’s my only day off.
Evaluator said this qualifies for continued drinking despite causing significant relation consequences, ie divorce.

1. Evaluator : you have sleep issues I hear, and your chart says you’ve had depression in the past, don’t you know that alcohol can effect your sleep and mood Me: yes that’s why I never drink within 3 hours of sleep.

Evaluator but you knew this and still drank
Evaluator: qualifies for drinking despite unwanted physical or psychological effects (this should be recurring to effects the alcohol is causing, I have had insomnia sense the age of 10 long before I took my first sip)
7 evaluator you were late for work and told my you had a drink the day before
Me: Yes but I was late because I didn’t sleep and took double my sleeping meds, I will never do that again
Qualifies for 2 significant work or school issues in the past year ( a therapist and other psychologist ensured me that being late on or a few days doesn’t count they typically are getting fired or failing) ( moreover, this would assume I was late do to drinking it’s self and also assume if happened more than once)

1. • Alcohol is often taken in larger amounts or over a longer period than was intended

He never once asked anything related to this question yet said I qualified in his final report 9. A great deal of time is spent in activities necessary to obtain alcohol, use alcohol, or recover from its effects. The evaluators logic here was sense I was late for work and I had 2 beers the day before I must be taking long to recover from it (this is assuming I missed due to alcohol)

1. Tolerance drinking more to require the same effect: this he checked as true in his final note however it was never even discussed in our evaluation. I did mention to him that I’ve been drinking more than I had earlier in the year frequency wise, but they said nothing to do with quantity or needing more.
   
2. Wanting to drink so bad you can not think of anything else: this is the only qualification of SAUD my evaluator said I did not have.
   

Moreover, without legal help I was not aware that I could obtain a second evaluation or even oppose going to get evaluated at all, but that wouldn’t have mattered seeing I still thought this was for my health and wellbeing as seen when I was asked why do you think you are here to today, to which I replayed “so that I can be evaluated to see what is needed to get back to work”.
To maks the ordeal more infuriating the evaluator continues to ingratiate himself and lie through the process telling you, “it will be fine as long as you are 100% honest”, “anything you say in here is between you and me” or “you slipped up once with your meds, I know your residnecy program they will probably just want a few more out patient tests”
Two weeks later I received a phone call right before I left for an out of state vacation to visit my nice for her birthday. During the call I was informed that I would be required to complete a partial hospitalization program (PHP) lasting “6-10 weeks” which would coast from 15-50 grand not including doctor visits or housing which is billed separately. I suppressed this inconvenience, enjoyed my vocation and reported when I returned, knowing that I must complete this soon so I may return to work with due to the fact that my payed time off would soon be diminished. At this time I had not yet heard of the organization PRN.
Chapter 3 Guilty till proven innocent: The diagnosis
Shell shocked I arrived to a in patient psychiatric unit and was rapidly cleared to progress to treatment without detoxification. During my 90 day of forced rehabilitation I met a few other individuals who were unjustly and fraudulently forced into treatment. I began to look up to one of these such members of the men’s community, who I will refer to as patient X for ambiguity sake.
Unlike me patient X did have alcohol use disorder. He spent many clinic days drinking to avoid alcoholic withdraws. The curious component of his story is that he admitted his depravity, saught help and through his own journey became sober. The bodies at be, namely his local physician, Health monitoring program, rejected his personal path to sobriety and forced him to undergo 90 days of in patient treatment before he could practice medicine again. When he checked in to rehab he had been sober for over a year.
Ask for Stories of people from online
As for me I spend many sleepless nights pondering how consuming a legal substance in a moderate amount could throw me into significant legal financial issues. My labs my toxicology, my story and my collateral from colleagues from colleagues all indicated light to moderate alcohol use but my evaluators word stood as the word of God.
More frightening was the director of this rehabs acknowledgment of this. The director who happens to also coincidentally be the evaluator, stated to me as well as to staff on multiple occasions: “ I suggest inpatient treatment for everyone who is reported”. “This is safer for me not to miss anyone who could harm patients, and I figure there must be a reason someone reported them.”
I am still elucidating the reason why I was determined guilty and proven innocent, however I can say from my 90 day stent that the majority of the patients at this rehab needed to be there. This program is saving lives of both providers and patients, however it is destroying the lives of those wrongfully accused.
Chapter 4 your lisense rehab or jail : Upon arivil I was sent to a detox hospital underwent a medical examination and was “one of the lucky ones” who required no detoxification and could report directly to PHP. Like everyone else, I spent 90 days in a PHP, being as 6-10 weeks is simply a lie they tell patients to decrease the change of resisting the treatment. When discussing the topic one therapist sated “if we told patients 90 days they would never come.” She then attempted to justify the treatment by outlining the story of a patient she had called who “didn’t make it to treatment” and killed themselves”. It is my belief that it is not the lack of PHP which impelled such professionals to take their life, but them realizing that they now will be obliged to undergo 90 days of PHP, 5 years of PRN monitoring with a loss of autonomy and hundreds of thousands of dollars taken from them that induced their hopelessness. For even if these professionals were truly mentally unstable in their addictions, in every case it was only following a phone call where they were informed they must undergo treatment that they took their life’s. By this time I still haven’t the slightest clue what PRN was.
Despite the security these programs provide for many my 6 main issues with them can be summarized in : 1. Kick backs: evaluators are directors of treatment clinics 2. The reported are guilty till proven innocent 3. The price, the overflow of money these places drag in from both patients and state universities is appalling, they charge separately for every visit and test 4. Although they make the claim that they are individualized, they are anything but. Every patient gets the same stay and treatment from the doctor drunk on the job and the one who was late to a shift 5. They force voluntary treatment. remember that friendly evaluator who promised he had your best interest at heart, so you opened up and told him everything about your substance use/ developmental / family history, well if you don’t stay for 90 days he will be “normally obliged” to tip the board of medical off to you.

1. The programs have overstepped their intended jurisdiction. -these programs work well if they function how they were intended at their inception. Cite original purpose. Originally these programs were designed to protect physicians and civilians from impaired practitioners; being healthcare workers who were impaired at work. Over the years, these organizations have extended their authority to encompass individuals with substance use disorders When not at work and also those who are in training to become healthcare professionals. Take for example myself compared to a physician who is impaired at work. A doctor who arrived for duty under the influence would surely benifit from the extensive testing, therapy and accountability enforced via these programs. In accordance the 20,000$ per year cost is appropriate when only making up roughly 7% of their yearly salary vs nearly half of a residents. In my case with my loss of income from employment, coast of treatment and monitoring, this year I will be required to pay 20,000$ to work. Yes, I will be losing money to work. Even if did indeed have a substance use disorder this level of monitoring wouldn’t not be considered appropriate.

Dispite all of the miscomings of this System My time spend in PHP was indeed helpful, as I believe it would be for anyone. Time for exercise, a reprieve from work and weekly counseling. A sample structure of my day to day schedule is provided below for insight:
Structure The general structure of these rehabitation centers is as follows: 1. One week of orientation phase, where you are not allowed in electronics or contact with the outside world world. Therefore, if you’re going, bring some things you would like to read or study. 2. In phase 2, you can use your phone however you cannot leave campus. You must stay in the dorm on campus. These shitty 1 room run down apartments with two other roommates will cost you about $1000 a week, they are required for at least four weeks and they are billed separately, no insurance will help you out here. 3. In phase 3 you can commute to campus if you beg your therapist and live very close. Whether you’re on campus or living off-campus, you are allowed to leave up to four hours per day. If you commute, you’ll be required to take a sober link decide you must Breath, alcohol test into every 6 hours. Like everything else in this program you must pay for this separately, a few hundred dollars a week. You advanced to other phases by completing assignments, however, assignments are limited by required built-in time, intrusive, scheduling, and reviewing. Therefore, if you do everything as rapidly as possible phase 1 will take one week phase 2 will take three weeks.
Every day schedule:
7:30: wake up, report to the front desk to inform them that you haven’t ran away yet and take and prescribed medications. They keep all your medications and require that you report to take them; for me this was antidepressants in an attempt to dispel the depression I contracted from being forced into treatment and whatever off label medication they were attempting to treat my ADHD with, since control medications were forbidden.
8 am: community group assessments This consisted of other patients presenting their assignments amongst the large group, on the weekends this was often an hour later and 12 study regularly took the place of assignment presentation.
10 am: process group. This was a two hour group therapy session with 6 to 12 other professionals in a therapist and training or occasionally a licensed mental health therapist.
1 pm: recreation This was generally about an hour of some sober themed craft or activity. Once a week this time slot was used for yoga.
2 pm: this was another time slot used for patients to present assignments as well as for individual therapy sessions. Each patient had one individual therapy session lasting 30 minutes per week.
3pm: This was time allotted to work on assignments or go to the gym on your sex specific scheduled gym day.
5pm: this time was used for guest speakers or another 12 step study group.
6 pm : this was generally an off-campus 12 step group
10 pm: report to the front desk and let them know you still haven’t ran away and take and Medication which are prescribed to take at night, then return to your cot bed in your room with 1-2 other roommates.
I found the community to be one of the most beneficial aspects of the PHP program. I was in a cohort of chill ass professionals of the same occupation who were always there to help each other.
Assignments The curriculum of the PHP consisted of assignment based on every step of the 12th step program. Generally, a patient would be required to complete an assignment on their own, review it with other patients, then faculty and finally present the assignment in front of the whole treatment group. You’re only given one assignment at a time and there are multiple steps to each which all requires scheduling this ensures that no matter how determined a patient is a full 90 days of treatment is required to complete all the assignments.
AA structure -the obsolete nature of AA has been verified in numbers studies, but I will refrain from divulging here and lend that endeavor to Dr. Lance Dodes very thorough discussion on the subject,in “the sober truth “
In all sincerity, if I truely did have a severe use disorder this experience could have been life saving. I only wish I could have used my 50 grand for someone who has spent their life time In addictive without reprieve. My first conversation when I was given my phone back was how I wish my father could be able to attend this PHP.
Chapter 5 reporting and PRN Self reporting What they ask you What you should tell them
There’s a third-party agency called professional resource network. Every state has their own. This agency works as a liaison between you and whatever credentialing service your occupation requires. Essentially they ensure your monitoring after treatment. Stake governments and licensing boards trust them, mainly because they monitor with the highest level of intrusiveness. This alleviates much work for state governments and licensing boards because once an individual is being monitored by a professional resource network, then they are deemed appropriate for duty and no further investigation/litigation needs to occur, as long as the monitored individual completely complies.
Because I was never impaired at work I was never reported to this agency. The general workflow of things someone would report you to professional resource network, then the resource network would contact you, and then you would be required to report for an evaluation at a treatment center, which would inevitably result in a suggestion I’ve treatment at that given treatment center. In my case I was sent to the treatment center without PRN being involved. Thus, two weeks into treatment. I was notified by my therapist that I needed to call PRN and self report. I attempted to resistance given that I did not have a problem and was not individually seeking help. I asked what happened if I didn’t self report. I was told that in order to stay in the treatment program I had to report to PRN. This meant either I report to PRN or I get kicked out of the treatment program and lose my job.
When you report to PRN they will ask you why you are in treatment. They will then list off every substance imaginable, asking you if you have ever tried the substance and when your last use was. Ultimately, they will obtain your discharge information from your treatment center, so it is in your best interest to report only what was found in your biochemical testing. If it wasn’t in your hair, I would argue that you don’t have a use disorder regarding that substance and it’s not relevant. I don’t believe it’s important for them to know that you smoked weed when you were 12.
Chapter 6 The contract:
Before being discharged from a treatment facility, a professional resource network will have you sign a contract. A little known fact which I was oblivious to is that contracts can be negotiated. Though this isn’t it possible, it is highly improbable that you can negotiate your contract since PRN has a power to delay your clearance to return to work.
Contractor almost never personalized, and I have not heard of a contract which is not a five-year agreement. You will sign releases of information so that PRN has access to all of your information which was gathered at the treatment facility. You must have a therapist, psychiatrist, primary care, doctor, and a addiction, medicine psychiatrist. You assign releases of information for all of them. You will be required To commit to: 1. three mutual aid meetings a week which you must log. I log smart recovery meetings. 2. Weekly therapy sessions with an approved mental health therapist from their list 3. Monthly doctors appointments with an addiction medicine psychiatrist 4. Yearly appointments with a primary care physician 5. Monthly appointments with a psychiatrist 6. Daily check-ins on a random drug testing app ( you will agree to weekly urine tests, a peth test 4 times a year, a hair test twice a year and a little caveat that says anything else they deem, clinically reasonable) 7. Quarterly update reports which you are required to obtain from a workplace monitor, therapist, addiction, medicine, psychiatrist, primary care physician and any other doctor you are seeing. 8. You must upload all of your prescriptions into a mobile application every single time you get them refilled and are not allowed to take them until they are approved. 9. Attendance of a PRN group via zoom. This is a local group you are assigned along with other monitored practitioners. There is a fee of roughly 130$ a month to attend this required group. For me all of these requirements coast around 20,000 a year. If you ever have a positive test even if it is the result of contamination from rubbing alcohol or unintentional ingestion of alcohol/ allergy medication your contract will rest to 5 years from the time of positive test. Once your five year contract is completed, you must ask to be released from monitoring. At that point they will search for any reason to keep you under monitoring. This could be dilute urines, daily check ins or a week where you did not attend mutual aid meetings. Every certification and license which you apply for will likely ask you if you were under a monitoring program/ have been treated for substance use. You must give an explanation and check yes. As far as licensing programs are concerned, if you were under the monitoring of PRN, you are safe, however they group practitioners who have had behavioral issues with practitioners who were diverting drugs from work. Therefore, keep in mind that you will be labeled as a sever addict.
7 Back to work and only work. During treatment your only goal is to return to work, however when you return your experience will be drastically distinct from what you remember. For me, I was now working in isolation. Missing six months of my training meant that no other Resident was on the same rotation as me. My coworkers at all formed friend groups. When I returned I was greeted with much concern for my well being. No one would speak to be about my absence, however everyone knew there is only one reason a resident would leave for 6 months then return. My Accdeemic meetings were consisting of attending telling me “I have a target on my back now” and “ I have to preform even better than others” in the light of my time missed. If this wasn’t alienating enough, the majority of Resident events, sponsored by recruiters and my university revolved around alcohol to which I had to give some excuse to why I can not partake with others. I’m fortunate that I do not have an addiction, because these stressful conditions along with the daunting amount of dead and requirements imposed by PRN are enough to make any addict relapse. While I was at treatment, I was in the dative with Samyr stories a physicians whose addictions got the best of them. Physicians who did not make it to treatment, often taking their own life. These stories were presented as a warning. Your addictions will kill you without our treatment was the message. When, in reality I did not hear one story in which the addiction killed physician. Every physician who didn’t make it to treatment took their life after being told they must report to a treatment facility. Perhaps they knew what this entailed and it was not their addiction or getting caught which caused them to end their lives, but the unmanageable and often unreasonable burden that treatment would put on their lives.
9 How to escape So your fucked your in PRN and should be or you should and now your recovered and want to terminated your contract.

1. You ask to be released early done at 1/2 time ( good luck)
2. You have “good reason” (no one has ever been let out of contract because of this reason, the verbiage is far too vague)
3. You serve all your time and they let you out(maybe, as discussed earlier, they would do everything they can to keep you in your contract as long as your practicing)
4. You can’t practice medicine anymore

10 Layer up butter cup : I cannot emphasize the extent to which legal help is required in this process. You much seek it and seek it early. Lawyers can provide many avenues to you early in the process. Once you have committed to treatment, gone for evaluation or are in a PRN contract , this is very little that you or legal help can do. Spend a few thousand dollars when you are accused and save the 20-30,000 later.
After you have been evaluated if you disagree as I did, then this is the process you must undergo. 1. Hire a occupation, defense, lawyer 2. Prove you don’t have an addiction, this is done by having an alternative evaluator with similar credentials state that either you don’t have an addiction or that PRN’s level of monitoring is not medically appropriate ( this will need to be a multi day neuropsychological evaluation, which will cost about $5000). 3. Your lawyer must draft in writing that the medical level of monitoring is not required such as another medical professional and send this to PRN 4. PRN will tattle on you to the board of medicine. 5. The board of medicine will conduct an investigation. 6. At the end or when they believe they have enough reasonable evidence to the board of medicine will suspend your license or claim, you must comply with the PRN contract to practice. 7. At this time your lawyer will defend you in the state court against the board. This is costly but much less than the coast of a 5 year PRN contract 8. If you win you will likely suggest an alternative level of care such as gonna get therapy every week. If you lose, than you wasted a fuck ton of money and are still bound by your PRN contract.
Overall this entire process has coast me Over all coast:
My finances for this year only including PRN and rent are as follows:
120-200$ every week for testing 480-800/ month
65 every week for therapy 195/month
125 every month for PRN group
About 50-69 every month for 2 doctor apts
So at least 745$/month at the lowest
Treatment at the recovery center coast 20,000 for me out of pocket and
I wasn’t payed for 6 months with no FMLA because I am a first year. At the 1 year mark I will have made 26,000 this year after taxes And payed About 29,000 on PRN alone
Rent is 1,000 so that’s 12,000 a year
Just in rent and PRN alone I will be at 26,000- 41,600 -15,600.
I will be in debt by at least 18,000 at the 1 year mark
Coast of treatment center 20,000 (with insurance) For each year of PRN roughly 20,000 Add that to 6 months of attending salary which was delayed due to my treatment time: at least 150,000 Layer coasts along with other evaluations 25,000 Missing 6 months of residency pay 30,000 Coast of 1 year in monitoring: 245,000 Coast of 5 years 325,000
If my case progress to a trail I will require an extra 20,000 in court coasts
Chapter 11 My secondary eval: Dr sushi After I arrived at my treatment center I challenge my evaluation multiple times. Each and every time I was discharged and often accused of alternate mental health/ substance abuse issues to discourage my advances. I was never given the opportunity to undergo alternative assessment, however PRN guidelines state that you can obtain a second option within 7 days of your first. This is a mute point, however, because you will not receive the results of your evaluation until over a week after it is conducted and the second evaluation must be conducted by another PRN hired evaluator of their choosing. During my stay in rehab I contacted PRN multiple times to attempt another evaluation/ legal help. They warned against both stating they were a “waste of money” and “pointless”.
After completing my treatment with the guidance of many addiction, experienced physicians, mental health counselors and psychiatrists recommendations I sought in a secondary evaluation. I chose a highly qualified professional with over 30 years of experience to conduct an extensive neuo psycho social evaluation of me. One that I was sure would be more extensive than the evaluation I received at treatment and more importantly an unbiased evaluation.
The results from my evaluation not only showed that I did not have a substance abuse problem warranting PRN level monitoring, but also that PRN was falling to allow adequate treatment of other conditions such as my ADHD. My evaluation showed my ADHD was not only untreated by PRNs attempt at using non controlled medication, but also in the top 3% most severe presentations of ADHD. My evaluator went on to explain my results by questioning why my treatment center even mandated I undergo neuro cognitive evaluation. The only neurodiverse findings were my IQ, my dyslexia and my ADHD. However, a neuo cognitive examination can be billed separately by treatment centers, therefore they always recommend one.
Chapter 12 Amongst its greed, intrusive nature and faulty accusations, professional recourse network function highly proficiently at the task they were designed to; protective physicians and patients from physicians who are impaired at work. In this domain they save lives, offer second changes and protect the public. When they act beyond their intended jurisdiction by imposing unnecessary monetary demands on practitionersin training, accuse practitioners without proof or act on behavior exemplified outside of a work setting they unjustly and inappropriately attack the week and innocent.
Proposed reform: As a trainee my universities malpractice insurance covers me for mistakes made at work. If a learner mistakenly harms a patient, then the university stands on their behalf. If the learner does something wrong under a teachers direct guidance, then the teacher is at fault. This makes sense logically as well as pragmatically. The state entrusts large amounts of money to hospital systems and universities to train resident physicians. A portion of this money is allocated to malpractice insurance. This should extend to accused impairment.
Suppose a training university was required to cover rehabilitation and monitoring of a resident of whom they claim is impaired. Alternatively they have the option of firing the trainee. This would reduce the number of innocent trainees being accused of impairment, make the process of rehabilitation more fair and provide a better use for tax payer derived dollars, which hospital systems are given to train residents. The truly impaired could still seek help, less false accusations would be made and with the employers having the ability to fire at the moment of impairment, there would be less chance of impairment at work.

I'm currently in Berlin, Germany, and about to be homeless for 2 weeks on the streets. I signed up for a study abroad program from my university, which I just graduated from last semester. I paid the application fee, got picked, paid for my own flight here and back, and then got a scholarship from an alumni couple in the department I got my degree in, and that scholarship paid for the rest of the trip.
I worked my ass off doing research and selling a bunch of my stuff to get the plane tickets because I'm pretty broke. I was excited for this trip because I was accepted into a German university for graduate school and figured I'd get a good introduction to living in Germany, and to be honest, Berlin itself has been great, all the locals I've met have been very nice to me, but my professors and everyone working from my university have been really unprofessional and tricky and now I'm in an unsafe position.** EDIT to add that when I say Friday I mean tomorrow, so I have about 1 day until getting kicked out of the hotel.
Long explanation, skip to the bottom for a TLDR:
Before I even got on a single plane, I found out customer service for my phone carrier and I had a misunderstanding a month ago when I bought my international plan and found out about 3 days in advance that my phone would be a brick here. I told the professor immediately and she said worse case scenario she would help me get a working phone when I landed, since it's kind of needed for basic safety. Just half a day before the first flight, I got bitten by a few deer ticks and said I might also need help scheduling a doctors appointment when I land, because our travel insurance required a working phone number and it was too late for me to make an appointment before my flight. The professor said that was fine and I would be helped with that as well, so I got on the first plane in full confidence.
When I landed, a day passed without either thing being handled, and that was fine by me, but then multiple days passed and the professor kind of just waved it off. I'd started to feel a little unwell and asked the professor to help me find a doctor and she said it was just jetlag.
One of the first days of the program we went to a restaurant, and the seating was a very small reserved room with our entire 20+ cohort in it. I have CPTSD and am claustrophobic and knew immediately that I did not want to sit there, so I asked the professor if she could help me ask the staff request a seat for me in the outside dining area, or, if one wasn't available, that I could just sit outside on a nearby bench and skip dinner. She told me the room was reserved for us and this was on the itinerary so I HAD to sit there, and when I again said I didn't think I could, she demanded I sit there again and condescendingly asked me if I really couldn't or just didn't want to. I started to cry as quietly as possible and then that suddenly made her understand, so we went outside and I explained that, in my opinion, trying to force any adult to do something they're uncomfortable with and have said "No" to is bad enough to me normally, but since I have a disability, it's also ableist. I tried to frame that sentiment in a "I'm sure you didn't mean it this way" kind of way but she still took offence to the criticism and I think that led to the rest of this.
After that happened I was feeling more ill and the professor said, "Oh, do you think it's lyme? Because if it was lyme you'd have a rash. It's probably still jetlag". At this point I said again that I needed some help getting a working phone number and medical advice from a doctor and she told me to take responsibility for myself. I'd bought myself a SIM card but it needed some unexpected trouble shooting and everything was in German (I know some German but only around A2 level and absolutely none is required for this program), so I'd already tried to help myself, and again could not schedule myself an appointment without a working phone.
I asked the professor if she could put her phone number in just to let the appointment scheduling process complete and she said no. I asked if she had any other ideas and she again told me to figure it out. I wound up walking 20 minutes through Berlin alone with no working phone to a doctor's office unannounced, barely able to fill half the sign in sheet and navigate the language barrier, and successfully got the antibiotics I needed and a lyme diagnosis. The nurse even asked why I came alone. Thankfully for me everyone in the doctors office including the doctor was very very nice to me despite the curveball I through them.
Not long after all that the professor sent an email with me cc'd in to the office of international affairs at the university, and the email said, in effect, "This student said they have a disability and can't stick to the itinerary and therefore I think they're not a good fit for this program and should go home." I immediately responded that that wasn't accurate, that I just could not sit inside a restaurant or other very cramped space, etc. Then I figured while I was at it I'd tell them about the total lack of care for my safety or wellbeing here. After sending that email the professor confronted me and tried to pretty much intimidate me into admitting everything was all my fault or something, I honestly have no clue, I think she was just upset and trying to make me feel better somehow. I think my criticism really got to her and made her kind of just hate me and that she wanted to make me make her feelings make sense. No clue honestly.
Anyway, after that the office of international affairs reached back out to me and were acting way nicer than they were when I first enrolled in this program, which felt sus, but I was haggard and miserable and wanted to be able to trust them so I did. They told me if I was considering coming home early for my own health and safety, that I could unenroll that night to make sure the alum who gave me a scholarship would at least be refunded, but that I had to do it that night since it was the last day to drop for a refund. I said I wasn't sure if I wanted to leave the program, and they said if you're considering it unenroll and if you want to stay after further discussion then we can probably just go ahead and re enroll you.
So I did it. The next day I'm scheduled to meet with someone who told me the day or so before that she would be my advocate and that she was there to listen to and represent me, and when I join the zoom meeting, it's her, but also two other people from the international affairs office. They're telling me my return flight has already been scheduled and everything and that they were sending out a person to chaperone me on the flight, because, though it was totally ignored on my flights here, I'd mentioned at the very start of the application process that I'd been a human trafficking victim before and ideally wanted to fly with someone instead of alone. All of this had less than a 24 hour turnaround from me unenrolling.
I realized hours after unenrolling that I don't want to leave the program, I just want to actually be allowed to engage in the program as it was advertised and as it was promised, and that leaving the program, to me, feels like capitulating to the professor being an asshole to me and like removing liability from the university. In short I think I pretty much got tricked into unenrolling. I told them I didn't want to leave early and they told me they already scheduled everything and got a refund for my hotel room, so if I don't take the flight back Friday, I will be homeless on the streets for 2 weeks until the flight that I personally purchased for the 31st, and that since I hit the unenroll button, my housing, health, or safety will no longer be the universities problem after Friday.
So, the fuck do I do with this, ya'll got any advice? I could really use some. Or even just some support haha.
TLDR: Got tricked into hitting unenroll button after damaging professors ego, most likely purposely tricked to absolve the university of responsibility because how the profs were treating me and everything I described probably did make me a liability even if not my fault, but I'm mad and I'm enjoying Berlin and don't want to leave or let the university get away with risking my health and safety multiple times with no apologies.

I'm currently in Berlin, Germany, and about to be homeless for 2 weeks on the streets. I signed up for a study abroad program from my university, which I just graduated from last semester. I paid the application fee, got picked, paid for my own flight here and back, and then got a scholarship from an alumni couple in the department I got my degree in, and that scholarship paid for the rest of the trip.
I worked my ass off doing research and selling a bunch of my stuff to get the plane tickets because I'm pretty broke. I was excited for this trip because I was accepted into a German university for graduate school and figured I'd get a good introduction to living in Germany, and to be honest, Berlin itself has been great, all the locals I've met have been very nice to me, but my professors and everyone working from my university have been really unprofessional and tricky and now I'm in an unsafe position. **EDIT TO ADD, when I say they're trying to make me go home Friday I mean tomorrow, so I have like 1 day until I'm kicked out of the hotel.
Long explanation, skip to the bottom for a TLDR:
Before I even got on a single plane, I found out customer service for my phone carrier and I had a misunderstanding a month ago when I bought my international plan and found out about 3 days in advance that my phone would be a brick here. I told the professor immediately and she said worse case scenario she would help me get a working phone when I landed, since it's kind of needed for basic safety. Just half a day before the first flight, I got bitten by a few deer ticks and said I might also need help scheduling a doctors appointment when I land, because our travel insurance required a working phone number and it was too late for me to make an appointment before my flight. The professor said that was fine and I would be helped with that as well, so I got on the first plane in full confidence.
When I landed, a day passed without either thing being handled, and that was fine by me, but then multiple days passed and the professor kind of just waved it off. I'd started to feel a little unwell and asked the professor to help me find a doctor and she said it was just jetlag.
One of the first days of the program we went to a restaurant, and the seating was a very small reserved room with our entire 20+ cohort in it. I have CPTSD and am claustrophobic and knew immediately that I did not want to sit there, so I asked the professor if she could help me ask the staff request a seat for me in the outside dining area, or, if one wasn't available, that I could just sit outside on a nearby bench and skip dinner. She told me the room was reserved for us and this was on the itinerary so I HAD to sit there, and when I again said I didn't think I could, she demanded I sit there again and condescendingly asked me if I really couldn't or just didn't want to. I started to cry as quietly as possible and then that suddenly made her understand, so we went outside and I explained that, in my opinion, trying to force any adult to do something they're uncomfortable with and have said "No" to is bad enough to me normally, but since I have a disability, it's also ableist. I tried to frame that sentiment in a "I'm sure you didn't mean it this way" kind of way but she still took offence to the criticism and I think that led to the rest of this.
After that happened I was feeling more ill and the professor said, "Oh, do you think it's lyme? Because if it was lyme you'd have a rash. It's probably still jetlag". At this point I said again that I needed some help getting a working phone number and medical advice from a doctor and she told me to take responsibility for myself. I'd bought myself a SIM card but it needed some unexpected trouble shooting and everything was in German (I know some German but only around A2 level and absolutely none is required for this program), so I'd already tried to help myself, and again could not schedule myself an appointment without a working phone.
I asked the professor if she could put her phone number in just to let the appointment scheduling process complete and she said no. I asked if she had any other ideas and she again told me to figure it out. I wound up walking 20 minutes through Berlin alone with no working phone to a doctor's office unannounced, barely able to fill half the sign in sheet and navigate the language barrier, and successfully got the antibiotics I needed and a lyme diagnosis. The nurse even asked why I came alone. Thankfully for me everyone in the doctors office including the doctor was very very nice to me despite the curveball I through them.
Not long after all that the professor sent an email with me cc'd in to the office of international affairs at the university, and the email said, in effect, "This student said they have a disability and can't stick to the itinerary and therefore I think they're not a good fit for this program and should go home." I immediately responded that that wasn't accurate, that I just could not sit inside a restaurant or other very cramped space, etc. Then I figured while I was at it I'd tell them about the total lack of care for my safety or wellbeing here. After sending that email the professor confronted me and tried to pretty much intimidate me into admitting everything was all my fault or something, I honestly have no clue, I think she was just upset and trying to make me feel better somehow. I think my criticism really got to her and made her kind of just hate me and that she wanted to make me make her feelings make sense. No clue honestly.
Anyway, after that the office of international affairs reached back out to me and were acting way nicer than they were when I first enrolled in this program, which felt sus, but I was haggard and miserable and wanted to be able to trust them so I did. They told me if I was considering coming home early for my own health and safety, that I could unenroll that night to make sure the alum who gave me a scholarship would at least be refunded, but that I had to do it that night since it was the last day to drop for a refund. I said I wasn't sure if I wanted to leave the program, and they said if you're considering it unenroll and if you want to stay after further discussion then we can probably just go ahead and re enroll you.
So I did it. The next day I'm scheduled to meet with someone who told me the day or so before that she would be my advocate and that she was there to listen to and represent me, and when I join the zoom meeting, it's her, but also two other people from the international affairs office. They're telling me my return flight has already been scheduled and everything and that they were sending out a person to chaperone me on the flight, because, though it was totally ignored on my flights here, I'd mentioned at the very start of the application process that I'd been a human trafficking victim before and ideally wanted to fly with someone instead of alone. All of this had less than a 24 hour turnaround from me unenrolling.
I realized hours after unenrolling that I don't want to leave the program, I just want to actually be allowed to engage in the program as it was advertised and as it was promised, and that leaving the program, to me, feels like capitulating to the professor being an asshole to me and like removing liability from the university. In short I think I pretty much got tricked into unenrolling. I told them I didn't want to leave early and they told me they already scheduled everything and got a refund for my hotel room, so if I don't take the flight back Friday, I will be homeless on the streets for 2 weeks until the flight that I personally purchased for the 31st, and that since I hit the unenroll button, my housing, health, or safety will no longer be the universities problem after Friday.
So, the fuck do I do with this, ya'll got any advice? I could really use some. Or even just some support haha.
TLDR: Got tricked into hitting unenroll button after damaging professors ego, most likely purposely tricked to absolve the university of responsibility because how the profs were treating me and everything I described probably did make me a liability even if not my fault, but I'm mad and I'm enjoying Berlin and don't want to leave or let the university get away with risking my health and safety multiple times with no apologies. Currently will probably be homeless in Berlin for 2 weeks.

Apologies in advance for the long post:
After being on birth control for 13 years, I decided to stop due to some negative side effects I started to have. I had 2 periods afterwards that were "on time" with the "cycle" I was having while on HBC. After that, my periods have been few and far between (I went 12 wks without having a period). My gyno wanted to do a pelvic ultrasound, to see if there were any abnormalities with my uterine lining. We found 2 things: a dermoid cyst on the left ovary that needs to be removed, and the right ovary was covered in cysts; she suspected PCOS and wanted me to get lab work. I also saw an endocrinologist to see if there was additional labs that needed to be drawn. My results indicate I have PCOS (high testosterone and DHEA-S.. cortisol & insulin levels were normal). The endocrinologist says my treatment options include: a carb controlled diet w/ a focus on protein intake and fiber (I need more info on this), metformin, spironolactone, and/or birth control. I definitely don't want to get back on birth control unless absolutely necessary. I've taken Spiro before for acne and had pretty significant vertigo with it on higher doses. I've done some research and keep seeing supplements such as Inositol and Berberine popping up. I think I'd rather try supplementation and diet changes prior to going on medication.
Symptoms I've been having: increased abdominal weight, acne, (maybe) increased hair growth on my chin and belly?, and obviously the irregular periods.
Anyone have any advice?? I am feeling defeated with this diagnosis and I'm not sure where to go from here.

My mom is 67 and has had various bfs since her and my father divorced 25yrs ago. Her bfs have always been a little bit odd. My mom is very codependent and will stick with something even when its not working.
This bf, she has been dating for five years. When they met, he first gave me the ick because my mom was not interested in him and he wouldn’t give up on pursuing her. The way he won her over is by contacting a mutual friend of theirs and convincing that friend to pressure my mom into going out with him.
At that time, he drank a lot and was very obnoxious always needing to be the center of attention and talking over everyone. I initially assumed his personality defects were largely from alcohol consumption, and anxiety and insecurity from being very overweight. My mom was able to convince him over the last few years to join a diet program which he was very successful on and to quit drinking after a DWI. This is all great however, his personality defects have only seemed to grow stronger with time. In addition to being self-centered, loud, obnoxious and a know it all, his problems with anxiety and OCD have only gotten worse overtime. He lives with her and seems to have complete control over her house hold and what happens there.
I appreciate that he helps her with cleaning and chores at home but he contributes and no way financially to her mortgage or bills. He works for himself selling insurance and seems to be not super successful but also has no strong drive to be. My mom who has been wanting to retire has not been able to because she is seemingly supporting him and has been trying to work overtime to fix his business problems.
When she has had health issues he goes in to complete denial that anything is wrong with her in a very aggressive way. Arguing at the hospital when she had artery surgery complications and leaving for work while she was having a stroke. He maintains that he is deeply in love with her, and he would do nothing to hurt her, but he seems completely unwilling to deal with any difficult emotions.
My sister, and ICU nurse, is currently in charge of any medical related reality regarding my mother or any future decisions that may need to be made. One of our main concerns is that he has proposed to her and has been pressuring her to get married for the last two years. She originally maintained that she would never do this legally, but it seems that he has worn her down with time. He recently began bragging to me that they are going to elope and we would find out about it on Facebook after the fact. It seemed like a jab at the time because he probably has some idea that we are not in support of this. But it also seems somewhat disrespectful to have your children and family find out that you got married via Facebook. The biggest concern is that he would have control over her finances for retirement and medical decisions if this were to happen which he has proven to have poor judgment on

Hi everyone! My baby is 10 months old and I’m wondering for those of you with similar aged babies how much your little one eats?
I feel like maybe I’m not offering my baby enough food lately. She’s very petite (10th percentile) but drs not concerned because she was 5 weeks premature and is still showing gradual growth. However she hasn’t been eating a whole lot. I’m new to blw and we have free purees from Wic. So we do both. She was not finishing the jars but I realized she definitely preferred blw and feeding herself and would eat bettemore those days. When I spoon feed her she fights a little lol. I just am in over my head as far as what to offer her and am new to being a stay at home mom (was working up until about a month ago) so it’s hard sometimes to prep and give “real” food.
I recently got reusable baby pouches so I could at least put the purées in there and she can have some control over feeding herself and today she loved that and ate way more than usual!
I also want to say I still breastfeed but throughout the day she would only eat 1-2 jars of baby puréed fruits/veggies/meat, nurse a couple times mostly for naps, have a couple small snacks (think yogurt melts/cereal puffs) then overnight she’s waking up constantly to nurse. Today she had like 4.5 jars worth of food in the pouches as well as nursing. (Of course mix in the days of blw where she eats more but this is just an example of a worse and more typical day)
I googled and realized woah! It seems like she should be having wayy more solids. So wanted to hear a sample of what a day’s menu looks like for your little ones! Please share any tips regarding blw/meal and snack ideas etc! Especially because I plan on weaning off the breastmilk around 12 months. To be noted for any tips as of right now baby can’t have milk/dairy products possible allergy still working on diagnosis but bad reactions.

In order to guarantee the health and wellbeing of expectant mothers and their unborn children, an obstetrician-gynecologist (OB-GYN) with competence in pregnancy and maternity care is sometimes referred to as a Pregnancy & Maternity Specialist. The following are some important duties:
1. Prenatal care : It is the provision of all-inclusive prenatal care to expectant mothers, which includes routine check-ups, fetal development monitoring, and screening for issues like preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, and anomalies in the fetus.
2. Identifying and managing risk factors and issues that may occur during pregnancy, such as multiple gestations, advanced mother age, pre-existing medical conditions, or past pregnancy complications, is known as “managing high-risk pregnancies.”
3. Labor & Delivery: Tracking the progression of labor, offering alternatives for pain relief, and helping with baby delivery, including vaginal births, C-sections, and instrumental births (using forceps or vacuum extraction) as needed.
4. Postpartum Care: Providing new moms with postpartum care that involves observing their physical and mental recuperation, addressing difficulties with nursing, and managing complications such as infections, bleeding, or mood disorders.
5. Family planning : It includes helping women make decisions about birth control and fertility counseling, as well as providing counseling and contraceptive services to them during the postpartum period.
6. Diagnosis and Treatment : Identifying and managing reproductive problems and gynecological conditions, such as endometriosis, uterine fibroids, recurrent miscarriages, and infertility, that may have an impact on pregnancy.
7. Patient education : It refers to educating and counseling expectant mothers and their families on topics such as breastfeeding, postpartum recuperation, newborn care, pregnancy, and contraception.
8. Cooperation : Working together to guarantee comprehensive and well-coordinated care for expectant mothers and their unborn children with other medical professionals, such as midwives, nurses, pediatricians, and specialists.
9. Advocacy : Promoting pregnant women’s health and rights, such as their ability to obtain evidence-based maternity care practices, reproductive healthcare services, and prenatal care.
10. Research and Education : Participating in clinical trials and medical research, keeping abreast of the most recent advancements in obstetrics and gynecology, and teaching medical students, residents, and other healthcare professionals about pregnancy and maternity care.
All things considered, pregnancy and maternity specialists are essential in helping women through the adventure of becoming pregnant, giving birth, and recovering from the postpartum phase.

I first mentioned my suspicions about my diet to my GP about a month ago. He prescribed me an antispasmodic to help with stomach cramps and sent me on my way. Surprise surprise, they didn’t help.
I waited a couple weeks and in that time, my symptoms got worse. I went back to see him yesterday and I asked my husband to come along because I knew EXACTLY how the appointment was going to go. I was right.
I listed my symptoms again, including the new joint and muscle pain I was getting. I told him that celiac runs in my family and that I had noticed a difference on the days I had not eaten any gluten. He took my vitals, did a respiratory assessment and then said “everything looks fine, you might have the flu or anxiety”. I screwed up my face and tried to not burst into flames as I turned to my husband.
He then chimed in and said “this isn’t that, I’ve seen her in pain and this isn’t normal”. brief silence
Only THEN did my GP decide to give me a referral to a gastroenterologist and a script for a blood test. He listened to my goddamn husband, but not me, the person sitting there in pain. The kicker of all this is that I’M A NURSE. I WAS SITTING THERE IN MY UNIFORM BUT NOOOO.
I hate this so much.

My baby is 3 weeks old and has had some symptoms - a small diaper rash that hasn’t gone away, frequently loose stools, spitting up, a cry that sounded pained. I took her to the ped for the rash and to my surprise she hadn’t gained any weight in the last 7 days 😭 I have been exclusively breast feeding. I’ve thought our breast feeding journey was going well, she’s had plenty of diapers, I nurse every 2-3 hours. The doctor suspects a milk intolerance so I’m going to cut it out of my diet and I bought some Similac alimentium to supplement for now. Is this similar to y’all’s experience? Does weight gain get going once you’ve removed dairy? Any tips for my nutrition (I usually have whole milk and Greek yogurt amongst other things)

Most of my life I had a blood pressure that averaged 80-90 on the top number and 40-60 on the bottom. No symptoms, no problems. I was healthy and active and ate a healthy diet. I still eat healthy, but I am a smoker.
Now here’s where it gets confusing for the doctors. Once my blood pressure started to inch up little by little, I began to have symptoms that seemed to be heart failure. Even had several blood tests show something the heart releases when it’s failing. After 10 years I finally have what is a “normal” blood pressure for most people and I keep having heart failure symptoms.
Every night when I lie down my heart rhythm goes out of whack, heavy breathing and pounding heart after the rhythm straightens out, with heavy sweating. This also happens during the day and has begun causing me to pass out. I actually smashed my face into pavement one day and shattered an eye socket and fractured my forehead and lost a good chunk of cartilage from my nose because I passed out and went over like a bowling pin. Nausea, vomiting, headaches, dizziness, extreme fatigue, what I call hot flashes (though I’m much too young and am not in menopause), My vision changes from day to day. I have been wearing glasses my whole life and now sometimes they work and other times I see better without them. Especially up close. My abdomen and legs stay so swollen I can barely eat or walk due to the pain.
My primary care doctor noticed my blood pressure was changing. But she knew I needed the water pills until I could see a cardiologist. She did caution me and told me to only take them every 3 days because I tend to have low blood pressure and water pills lower blood pressure. It was a concern. Well, I immediately felt about 50% better. Both the frequency and severity of my symptoms decreased.
My cardiologist said this:
Why would she put you on water pills?
Me: well because of how swollen I am with water retention.
Him: well you probably have (condition in my legs where the vessels stretch and blood flow gets messed up or stops) we will do the procedures for that. As for the water retention, your heart isn’t strong enough to pull the water out of your system the way it should. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with your heart
Me: that makes no sense (has ultrasound and confirms vessel condition in legs and has 4 procedures done) cardiologist releases me and says I should be fine now. No change including in leg swelling.
My primary then represcribes the water pills and adds a beta blocker. Diagnosis: high blood pressure. Frequency of symptoms reduced by 60%. Severity of symptoms reduced by 80%. Haven’t passed out since or had dizziness or nausea and vomiting. Headaches have been minimal. Eyesight is still a bit wonky.
Primary care doctor moves to another state. New primary care doctor thinks I and my previous doctor are insane and that my “normal” blood pressure is fine and my other symptoms are my imagination. Now I’ve been without meds for an entire month and I’m worried.
Are there ANY studies or doctors who have experience with a person whose normal blood pressure is low and high blood pressure reads as normal? I’m desperate at this point. I’m way too young to die of a heart attack or stroke and leave behind 3 kids without a mom. I’m only 44.
Edit. About 3 years ago I suddenly found that everything I ate or drank, even water, was like eating straight salt. I now can’t stand the taste of salt and can’t have it in any of my food. I lost 60 lbs in 8 weeks without changing anything. I have an extremely healthy diet, am very active (I teach 3rd grade, am a trauma recovery coach, and walk 3 miles with my daughter 3 times a week), I’m a light smoker (5-8 a day), not diabetic, healthy checkups, normal cholesterol and all that. The only thing I’ve ever had an issue with was my thyroid. I had 7 rapidly growing nodules that eventually stopped growing but haven’t been checked in 3 years since the radiologist said it was no longer necessary. All nodules were looked at through sonogram or ultrasound and biopsies every 2 years for 15 years. No kidney issues that I’m aware of. And NO the cardiologist and other doctors have NOT done ANY tests other than blood and CT scans to check my heart. They refuse. Yes I have good insurance. Family history includes mitral valve failure, mitral regurgitation, and non specific heart attack. Without the water pills I weigh about 240 lbs, with them I stay around 170.

Hello I have been eating Brazil nuts, 1-2 a day, taking zinc biglycinate 15mg every other day, 200mg of Magnesium Glycinate every night and 5000ui of D3 every day. I am not sure if I should add K2 100mcg because I am getting conflicting information everywhere as to whether it can cause blood clotting or you need to have a ratio with k1, I just don't know so I haven't touched it yet but anyway after about 1 month of doing this my TPO AB went from 1600 to 1000, and Thyroglobulin AB is still the same at 600. Also found out I have 2 nodules in my parathyroid gland, but I was told they are not going to do anything about it because my PTH levels are normal and calcium at the time it was discovered 1.5 years ago.
Also, can anyone please tell me the best Hashimoto's diet/food they eat that has helped them with severe fatigue, bloating, and 100% inability to poop(I seriously need help on my constipation, the probiotics my gastro suggested caused my constipation to be way worse and it hasn't recovered since stopping them 3 weeks ago, I used to go once a week, now its once every 1.5 weeks. My cat Marley poops at least 8x the amount each week than I do.
Weight gain...Prior to being diagnosed with Lymphocytic Thyroiditis, I never understood how people were unable to lose weight, I was one of those people who really just didn't understand I am 35yr old male 5'9 2 years ago when I was diagnosed I weighed 150lbs I exercised, did kick boxing for fun to stay in shape after all of a sudden getting extremely fatigued and not know what was happening i got the diagnosis. I went from 150lbs to 180lbs in 1 year and the next year(currently now) I weigh 213lbs. I am starting to gain energy back especially after starting Tirosint which after going through generic and 4 brand names its a god send to me on top on my vitamins. I still have chronic fatigue but at least I can walk up 3 steps in my house without having palpitations and being so tired and needing to rest for a few hours to recover or staying in bed for days because no matter how much sleep i got I never felt I slept. I started to believe i had narcolepsy, I would fall asleep everywhere at inappropriate places and times, i could not help it. Okay enough of all that so I paid to see a dietician which ill admit i do not have much money and it was everything I had to see this guy and he gave me the worse advise ever to eat. I should have known while i watched him google hashimoto diets during our appointment. Please if anyone could tell me their diets that has helped them tremendously i would be so thankful, also I can't afford to go see a functional Dr or a motility specialist so please no one tell me that I already know, I am seeking advice here, and if anyone knows how I can cure my leaky gut and bloating. I have a bag of L glutamine, but I haven't tried it yet other than that I would like advice please anyone. thank you, sorry for the long-life story.
sorry one last question does Hashimoto's/constipation cause breathing issues? I have always had mild asthma, but my breathing has become really bad with wheezing and scratchy throat. Im not sure if its hashis or where I live, im renting and the floor is asbestos tiles covered by peel and stick laminate tiles as well as lead paint on the window frames which i will paint over when I have the money for paint(renting from my sister for very cheap and she won't buy the paint, in case anyone says its landlords responsibility, I am saving to move, because i dont trust the asbestos and mold in laundry room), XRAY showed nothing in lungs, my pulmonologist thinks it might have something to do with my vocal cords? My albuterol has no effect on it and I was given Symbicort which does not help at all either, in fact all it does is give me a headache and make my pulse go up to 120bpm i guess because they're both beta-agonist. Please anyone any advice on diet and anything else I asked would highly appreciate it. Thank you

Hi. You guys might remember that I posted in here and the cancer family support group not long ago looking for some advice about looking ahead at my dad's treatment and care. Please let me know if I should change the flair, but support and advice is definitely wanted.
To revisit, he was diagnosed with stage 4 squamous cell lung cancer, metastases virtually everywhere in his body except brain and spine. We found out at the end of March/maybe very beginning of April. They told him 4-6 months without treatment, up to 18 months with treatment. So.. what happened?
I flew out to be with him and got here on the 15th of April. I took over his full time care. He declined so fast. Tuesday the ​30th, we had an interview with a home based palliative care nurse and he recommended that we send my dad to the hospital. Dad had been getting more and more foggy mentally and having a lot of difficulties communicating, tremors, etc. I questioned this very much and was told throughout the two weeks that I was here that it was probably the pain medication and we alternated through a couple options for pain management up until Tuesday. When the nurse was asking him questions, my dad couldn't remember the date or his address. So we made the call to send him to the hospital because the nurse thought it was more than just the pain medication. He was a complete angel on earth, he stayed with me the entire time until after the EMTs left with my dad and he made sure I was okay.
The doctors found out my dad had hyper calcemia, high calcium levels, which can happen in cancer patients. He had every single symptoms. They tried to give him a bunch of fluids and he got a bit better on day 2. But day 3, Thursday, he was much worse. The physician said, in the kindest way possible, that he didn't think my dad would get better. He tried one more option for a diuretic to help get fluid flowing because dad was having very wet/rattling breathing by that point. It didn't work. I had to make the hardest decision of my entire life to switch my dad to comfort care. It was what he would've wanted and made clear he would've wanted in his advanced directive/polst/etc. He told me for my entire life that if he ever was incapacitated, he wouldn't want to be a vegetable or prolong his suffering, he'd want it to end. Over the past ~month since his diagnosis, he made it clear through his legal forms and telling me/his other family that he would not want to suffer longer for no reason. He was a DNR and he chose "limited intervention" for his preferences. So I did what he wanted, I didn't prolong his suffering since it didn't look like it would help. The doctors and nurses were the most incredible I could've asked for and they gave him a lot of pain medication and meds to help him relax and be comfortable. They were wonderful to me and brought m​e and my family food and water and were just there the whole way through. He passed around midnight Friday morning. He was peaceful and at rest.
I know that I was true to what he wanted. But I'm struggling so fucking much. My heart hurts beyond words. I don't know how to live the rest of my life without him. I'm mourning that he will never get to see my boyfriend and I get married, that he'll never be able to do a first look with me or walk me down the aisle, that he'll never see my boyfriend and I finish our advanced degrees or see my boyfriend's son graduate high school. I had dreams of getting to have an inlaw sweet at our future house to have him with us. Even after getting his diagnosis, I had thought we had so much more time. I feel so lost. What do I do now? How do I cope? I already got his ashes back because he wanted to be cremated, having a celebration of life this weekend. Waiting on death certificates to close out accounts and get things taken care of. I don't know what to do with myself. I felt like I was treading water before, barely staying afloat. Now I feel like I'm at the bottom in the silt, running out of air. It hurts so much. Please share any advice or even words of comfort. I'm trying to make sure I have a list of everything that needs to get done. Thank you. So sorry you're along for this journey too ❤️🫂

Hi. You guys might remember that I posted in here not long ago looking for some advice about looking ahead at my dad's treatment and care.
To revisit, he was diagnosed with stage 4 squamous cell lung cancer, metastases virtually everywhere in his body except brain and spine. We found out at the end of March/maybe very beginning of April. They told him 4-6 months without treatment, up to 18 months with treatment. So.. what happened?
I flew out to be with him and got here on the 15th of April. I took over his full time care. He declined so fast. Tuesday the ​30th, we had an interview with a home based palliative care nurse and he recommended that we send my dad to the hospital. Dad had been getting more and more foggy mentally and having a lot of difficulties communicating, tremors, etc. I questioned this very much and was told throughout the two weeks that I was here that it was probably the pain medication and we alternated through a couple options for pain management up until Tuesday. When the nurse was asking him questions, my dad couldn't remember the date or his address. So we made the call to send him to the hospital because the nurse thought it was more than just the pain medication. He was a complete angel on earth, he stayed with me the entire time until after the EMTs left with my dad and he made sure I was okay.
The doctors found out my dad had hyper calcemia, high calcium levels, which can happen in cancer patients. He had every single symptoms. They tried to give him a bunch of fluids and he got a bit better on day 2. But day 3, Thursday, he was much worse. The physician said, in the kindest way possible, that he didn't think my dad would get better. He tried one more option for a diuretic to help get fluid flowing because dad was having very wet/rattling breathing by that point. It didn't work. I had to make the hardest decision of my entire life to switch my dad to comfort care. It was what he would've wanted and made clear he would've wanted in his advanced directive/polst/etc. He told me for my entire life that if he ever was incapacitated, he wouldn't want to be a vegetable or prolong his suffering, he'd want it to end. Over the past ~month since his diagnosis, he made it clear through his legal forms and telling me/his other family that he would not want to suffer longer for no reason. He was a DNR and he chose "limited intervention" for his preferences. So I did what he wanted, I didn't prolong his suffering since it didn't look like it would help. The doctors and nurses were the most incredible I could've asked for and they gave him a lot of pain medication and meds to help him relax and be comfortable. They were wonderful to me and brought m​e and my family food and water and were just there the whole way through. He passed around midnight Friday morning. He was peaceful and at rest.
I know that I was true to what he wanted. But I'm struggling so fucking much. My heart hurts beyond words. I don't know how to live the rest of my life without him. I'm mourning that he will never get to see my boyfriend and I get married, that he'll never be able to do a first look with me or walk me down the aisle, that he'll never see my boyfriend and I finish our advanced degrees or see my boyfriend's son graduate high school. I had dreams of getting to have an inlaw sweet at our future house to have him with us. Even after getting his diagnosis, I had thought we had so much more time. I feel so lost. What do I do now? How do I cope? I already got his ashes back because he wanted to be cremated, having a celebration of life this weekend. Waiting on death certificates to close out accounts and get things taken care of. I don't know what to do with myself. I felt like I was treading water before, barely staying afloat. Now I feel like I'm at the bottom in the silt, running out of air. It hurts so much. Please share any advice or even words of comfort. I'm trying to make sure I have a list of everything that needs to get done. Thank you. So sorry you're along for this journey too ❤️🫂

Hi, I wanted to share a really amazing free resource that might interest members of this sub.
You can submit health-related questions to the librarians at the Stanford Health Library. They will research your question and provide evidence-based information to you. This is free to everyone. You do not need to be a patient at Stanford. Questions can be related to diagnosis/condition, but they can also be more general and related to things like diet and exercise. A lot of the questions I see on this sub seem like they could fit the criteria.
https://healthlibrary.stanford.edu/research-services2.html
If you are local to the area (Bay Area, CA), you can also stop in at their physical locations to speak to the librarians and check out books and other materials for free.
https://healthlibrary.stanford.edu/about.html

when i first met my MIL she was legally blind. i have personally seen her eye scans and having studied medicine to the point where i am able to make sense of eye exams, i can truthfully say she is indeed blind. the other medical problems she has dont seem to make any sense and its sometimes insulting. I have Juvinile Idiopathic Arthritis and i have been diagnosed since i was 12. i have flare ups and when i have flare ups i tend to dislocate my joints easily. its painful, its a huge mobility issue when it happens and if it happens to my arms for example, i cant carry even remotely heavy things like a glass of water without support. while trying to explain this to my MIL i showed her a youtuber who has EDS and similar issues with her joints dislocating and mobility issues. I dont have EDS, i dont qualify for anything outside of joint dislocations. My MIL commented on how painful that must be and a week later said she has always had EDS and had been battling doctors for years for a diagnosis. While looking at videos of service dogs in preparation for her guide dog, she found a youtuber with POTS. she comments on how she too has problems with feeling dizzy standing up. the following week she says she has POTS aswell. I recently brought up my concerns for PCOS to my doctor and was formally diagnosed with it for meeting criteria to which she says shes suffered from PCOS and endometriosis for years. this year alone she has been given a cpap machine which she claims doesnt work for her sleep apnea which a year ago wasnt a medical concern until i mentioned i had sleep apnea as a child. she has had a prolapsed uterus, a hystorectomy, cysts in her uterus, Endometriosis, has done an elimination diet to determine if she is allergic to anything that is preventing her from losing weight, tested for adhd, had a colonoscopy and has spontaneously lost 20lbs which changes to 5 when her husband is around. she doesnt look like shes lost any weight. when mentioning my most recent flareup she said she has had rheumatoid arthritis for years and hasnt been able to do housechores in over a week from the pain but prior to bringing it up she said she had been working out more and was able to use a new exercise equipment that would make no sense with her supposed arthritis.
i really dont know what to do anymore. im 99% certain she has munchausen and doesnt have any of these health problems, especially considering her supposed tests for these diagnoses never line up with the actual tests used to diagnose these medical conditions. I feel like i am unable to share my own experiences with her on what is going on in my life without her trying to one-up me or take over the conversation with her own health problems. its also become difficult to support her when she says things like she went for a hike and felt great and i say wow how was your POTS? then she turns around and says she had a terrible time and that she had to stop a lot and shes still exhausted. sometimes i feel like i should call her out on it but idk if that would be rude. any advice?

I have dealt with OCD since I was about 10, it was the worst then being trapped in my head in loops of intrusive thoughts and compulsions for weeks (being homeschooled with parents that didn’t believe in medication didn’t help). I’ve learned how to cope well on my own, it’s not perfect and sometimes I still get stuck but it’s enough to hold a full time job and university without too much interference. I’m currently on both Prozac and Wellbutrin, which has been going well so far, my Psychiactric Nurse Practitioner knows about my mental health history and didn’t require an official diagnosis to start treatment. I’ve tried therapy but honestly talk therapy only ends up making my intrusive thought episodes worse and I seem to cope with things better on my own.
Essentially, is it worth getting an OCD diagnosis at this point? Would that just be a waste of a couple thousand dollars when I already know what I’m dealing with? Is it affirming and validating to get officially diagnosed and therefore worth it?

Hello my fellow bad bleeders! Thought it was time I stop lurking and share.
Asthma since early childhood. Manageable, but I've been unable to tolerate any ICS, so it could be better.
Something changed, and it no longer felt like my asthma. Told the first pulm, and he balked at me "taking his tools away" (not tolerating ICS). Flat refused to order CT. CXR normal. Wanted PFTs. I got an appointment with my old pulm within a couple of days.
Told him how I felt absolutely tanked w/ the most basic exertion. Always desperate to lie down, but not sleepy. Shortness of breath that was unlike what I've felt for 35-ish years. Racing heart. I cried bc I knew I wasn't being heard. He concluded it was likely "recent life stresses" and no longer exercising (bc I felt horrible, mind you). In short, he gave me the traditional "Okay, crazy lady" diagnosis. He at least acquiesced and ordered CT angio with contrast.
Had that 2 days later (on March 27), and within a couple of hours, nurse called to tell me I have a PE. They called in an Rx for Xarelto. I made an appt with the doctor I trust the most (my allergist), and asked her to refer me to the specialists she would see in this situation.
Hematologist has me on xarelto for 3 months, 1 off, to test. New pulmonologist is absolutely wonderful.
No answers yet as to what (if anything) caused the clot. Those first two pulmonologists almost got me. I really started to think I'd been imagining my symptoms.
I understand why we cheer for people "advocating for themselves," but I'm an attorney, and I still struggled to stick it out. Love and solidarity. Thanks for reading. 🫁❤️

To give some background, I recently took my 9 yr old stepdaughter to an allergist. She had been having digestion issues, like randomly she will throw up or she’s going to the bathroom. And it started to occur pretty frequently, to the point where she’s puking at least once a week and sick to her stomach nearly every day. The allergist did the skin test, & we discovered she was allergic to corn. Which corn is in EVERYTHING, so now all her stomach reactions make sense. I will note her allergy isn’t severe, she doesn’t break out into hives and she doesn’t have any trouble breathing like anaphylactic shock. Just throwing up, stomach pain, constipation, and/or diarrhea.
Now, since we found out her allergy, we shared the news with her mother, and she is not at all taking this seriously. She told my husband “she never has had any reactions with me”, which is false because she throws up at her house far more often than she does at ours. She has not helped my stepdaughter to cut anything out of her diet, and she told her “it’ll be okay, it’s just an intolerance, like lactose”. And this woman is an ER nurse! So my thing is, if her mother isn’t helping cut corn and its derivatives that upset her stomach out of her diet, is that considered neglect and/or child abuse?
We have helped her cut it out of her diet in our home since her diagnosis. I went shopping and did research on food brands that were safe so I could buy her snacks and foods, and I have been planning our dinners to be safe for her to eat on the days we have her (we have 50/50 custody).