Corny things to say to your boyfriendorny things to say to your boyfriend

I'm a very insecure person. There's really no way around it. I've had very few stable relationships, platonic or romantic, and I'm kind of at a point where I tend to fear the worst cause I've seen the worst. I understand the toll this takes on others and I try to take assuring myself into my own hands. I make an effort to reach out, organize outings, throw large parties for myself, randomly check up on my friends, attempt conversations, etc. But it's so painfully obvious when it's not appreciated. So many times, people will curb my basic attempts at human connection. I recently started college and even just asking people to study with me, I'm regularly shut down or ghosted. I see people posting freshman year highlights because the year finally came to an end and I can count on one hand the amount of times I left my dorm for something other than gym, school or food. Back in high school when I dealt with this, I could usually chalk it up to maybe I offended them somehow. But at this point in my life, I interact with so many new people so regularly that it's just not even possible I offended them all.
To make matters worse, I'm an out of state student. I feel detached from my family and my home. My room in high school was given to my sister and I stay in a guest room now. The friends I do have from high school don't really talk to me. I mean we have this big groupchat where everyone is always talking, but I see them dm each other, spend time with each other, create actual bonds. Meanwhile, if I reach out, the chances of them even responding are slim, nevermind them ever texting me. When events are organized by someone other than myself or my boyfriend who is also in the group, I am very often left out. Especially birthdays. I invited 30+ people to my own. I genuinely want to connect with people and so I thought inviting them into my home, sharing food and conversation would be the way to do it. But when other people throw events, especially ones that have a limit on how many people can come, I'm never there. I'm not mad at any one person in particular, it just sucks that no body considers me close enough to include.
I have been very vocal about how I feel with that particular group. Basically anyone willing to listen has heard me say that I don't actually feel wanted around them. But I wind up feeling bad. They tell me that they do care about me and they do want me around. I'm told oh they're just awkward people, you're not here often, they've known each other longer (I met them through my boyfriend...yes I am ashamed to not have my own friends outside of that but I've really tried). But it sucks when I look at their stories and theyre smiling having fun yet again. Why dont I have any friends who just call me. Who just say hey when are you free. Who just go hey how are you doing. I swear I've tried initiating this and it just comes off like I'm forcing it. So I stop. And then we stop talking. :/
I'm currently on a 2-week study abroad program with my school. I was put with about 19 random people and they will literally lie to avoid hanging out with me. The feeling of loneliness has never been steeper. Across the world away from home with 2 dozen other freshmen who I've never talked to before...and they still wont spend time with me. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I feel like the bug spray I put on every morning is some friend repellent.
And honestly, my biggest fear is continuing to live in misery. It's summer time. I'm still a teenager. With or without a super close band of friends to tackle the world with me, I still want to enjoy my life. I've settled on a really big project to lock in on this summer. I've decided to make a sims machinima series. Some people laughed at me when I mentioned it, but I find it fun. I could take roller skating more seriously just to get out of the house. I don't know, I want to enjoy my own company. But I'm also just a teenage girl who was never invited to the slumber party.

I would preface this post by saying that I am not coming at this issue as someone with ill will or antagonism towards Catholicism, but as someone trying to understand Church teaching. I am also coming at the issue from an emotionally charge point of view; I recognize there might be instances where the institution is a necessary one, even from a purely natural law or non religious perspective.
I have yet to find a satisfactory answer on the Church and its teaching on slavery. Unlike the issue of Dignitatis Humanae and religious freedom, where you could reconcile it with previous teachings, the issue of slavery seems to present a genuine change or rupture in Church teaching.
For most of the history of Christianity, the Church taught that slavery was, at least in some contexts, a lawful and acceptable practice. To the extent Popes said anything on slavery prior to Leo XIII, they merely restricted or ameliorated slavery or slave trading, not condemning the institution en toto.
John Chrysostom

And how shall slavery be able to hurt? It is not slavery itself, beloved, that hurts; but the real slavery is that of sin.

Thomas Aquinas -

Adultery, however, and inducing a slave to leave his master are properly injuries against the person; yet the latter, since a slave is his master's chattel, is referred to theft. Voluntary commutations are when a man voluntarily transfers his chattel to another person.

Pope Pius IX says -

Slavery itself, considered as such in its essential nature, is not at all contrary to the natural and divine law, and there can be several just titles of slavery
It is not contrary to the natural and divine law for a slave to be sold, bought, exchanged or given

Pope Nicholas says in Dum Diversas

Pagans, infidels, and the enemies of Christ, also realms, duchies, royal palaces, principalities and other dominions, lands, places, estates, camps, possessions of the king or prince or of the kings or princes, and to lead their persons in perpetual servitude, and to apply and appropriate realms, duchies, royal palaces, principalities and other dominions, possessions and goods of this kind to you and your use and your successors the Kings of Portugal.

However starting with Pope Leo XIII started to condemn slavery as a whole

In the presence of so much suffering, the condition of slavery, in which a considerable part of the great human family has been sunk in squalor and affliction now for many centuries, is deeply to be deplored; for the system is one which is wholly opposed to that which was originally ordained by God and by nature. The Supreme Author of all things so decreed that man should exercise a sort of royal dominion over beasts and cattle and fish and fowl, but never that men should exercise a like dominion over their fellow men

Pope Leo XIII's teaching are codified in Vatican II in Gadium et Spes

Furthermore, whatever is opposed to life itself, such as any type of murder, genocide, abortion, euthanasia or wilful self-destruction, whatever violates the integrity of the human person, such as mutilation, torments inflicted on body or mind, attempts to coerce the will itself; whatever insults human dignity, such as subhuman living conditions, arbitrary imprisonment, deportation, slavery, prostitution, the selling of women and children; as well as disgraceful working conditions, where men are treated as mere tools for profit, rather than as free and responsible persons; all these things and others of their like are infamies indeed. They poison human society, but they do more harm to those who practice them than those who suffer from the injury. Moreover, they are supreme dishonor to the Creator.
At the same time let them put up a stubborn fight against any kind of slavery, whether social or political, and safeguard the basic rights of man under every political system.

This was reiterated again in 1995

The Second Vatican Council, in a passage which retains all its relevance today, forcefully condemned a number of crimes and attacks against human life. Thirty years later, taking up the words of the Council and with the same forcefulness I repeat that condemnation in the name of the whole Church, certain that I am interpreting the genuine sentiment of every upright conscience

So it seems to me that you have two irreconcilable teachings, one that taught slavery is sometimes lawful and another that teaches that it never is. If we are looking to an institution for guidance on moral issues, said institution should be able to speak clearly and consistently on an issue.

J. V. Stalin
The Party's Tasks Report Delivered at an Enlarged Meeting of the Krasnaya Presnya District Committee of the R.C.P.(B.) With Group Organisers, Members of the Debating Society and of the Bureau of the Party Units December 2, 1923 Source : Works, Vol. 5, 1921 - 1923 Publisher : Foreign Languages Publishing House, Moscow, 1954 Transcription/Markup : Salil Sen for MIA, 2008 Public Domain : Marxists Internet Archive (2008). You may freely copy, distribute, display and perform this work; as well as make derivative and commercial works. Please credit "Marxists Internet Archive" as your source.
Comrades, first of all I must say that I am delivering a report here in my personal capacity and not in the name of the Central Committee of the Party. If the meeting is willing to hear such a report, I am at your service. (Voices : "Yes.") This does not mean that I disagree with the Central Committee in any way on this question; not at all. I am speaking here in my personal capacity only because the commission of the Central Committee for drafting measures to improve the internal situation in the Party 1 is to present its findings to the Central Committee in a day or two; these findings have not yet been presented, and therefore I have as yet no formal right to speak in the name of the Central Committee, although I am sure that what I am about to say to you will, in the main, express the Central Committee's position on these questions.
Discussion — A Sign of the Party's Strength The first question I would like to raise here is that of the significance of the discussion that is now taking place in the press and in the Party units. What does this discussion show? What does it indicate? Is it a storm that has burst into the calm life of the Party? Is this discussion a sign of the Party's disintegration, its decay, as some say, or of its degeneration, as others say?
I think, comrades, that it is neither one nor the other: there is neither degeneration nor disintegration. The fact of the matter is that the Party has grown more mature during the past period; it has adequately rid itself of useless ballast; it has become more proletarian. You know that two years ago we had not less than 700,000 members; you know that several thousand members have dropped out, or have been kicked out, of the Party. Further, the Party membership has improved, its quality has risen in this period as a result of the improvement in the conditions of the working class due to the revival of industry, as a result of the return of the old skilled workers from the countryside, and as a result of the new wave of cultural development that is spreading among the industrial workers.
In short, owing to all these circumstances, the Party has grown more mature, its quality has risen, its needs have grown, it has become more exacting, it wants to know more than it has known up to now, and it wants to decide more than it has up to now.
The discussion which has opened is not a sign of the Party's weakness, still less is it a sign of its disintegration or degeneration; it is a sign of strength, a sign of firmness, a sign of the improvement in the quality of the Party's membership, a sign of its increased activity.
Causes of the Discussion The second question that confronts us is: what has caused the question of internal Party policy to become so acute precisely in the present period, in the autumn of this year? How is this to be explained? What were the causes? I think, comrades, that there were two causes.
The first cause was the wave of discontent and strikes over wages that swept through certain districts of the republic in August of this year. The fact of the matter is that this strike wave exposed the defects in our organisations; it revealed the isolation of our organisations— both Party and trade-union—from the events taking place in the factories. And in connection with this strike wave the existence was discovered within our Party of several secret organisations of an essentially anti-communist nature, which strove to disintegrate the Party. All these defects revealed by the strike wave were exposed to the Party so glaringly, and with such a sobering effect, that it felt the necessity for internal Party changes.
The second cause of the acuteness of the question of internal Party policy precisely at the present moment was the wholesale release of Party comrades to go on vacation. It is natural, of course, for comrades to go on vacation, but this assumed such a mass character, that Party activity became considerably weaker precisely at the time when the discontent arose in the factories, and that greatly helped to expose the accumulated defects just at this period, in the autumn of this year.
Defects in Internal Party Life I have mentioned defects in our Party life that were exposed in the autumn of this year, and which brought up the question of improving internal Party life. What are these defects in internal Party life? Is it that the Party line was wrong, as some comrades think; or that, although the Party's line was correct, in practice it departed from the right road, was distorted because of certain subjective and objective conditions?
I think that the chief defect in our internal Party life is that, although the Party's line, as expressed in the decisions of our congresses, is correct, in the localities (not everywhere, of course, but in certain districts) it was put into practice in an incorrect way. While the proletarian-democratic line of our Party was correct, the way it was put into practice in the localities resulted in cases of bureaucratic distortion of this line.
That is the chief defect. The existence of contradictions between the basic Party line as laid down by the Congresses (Tenth, Eleventh and Twelfth), and the way our organisations put this line into practice in the locali-ties—that is the foundation of all the defects in internal Party life.
The Party line says that the major questions of our Party activities, except, of course, those that brook no delay, or those that are military or diplomatic secrets, must without fail be discussed at Party meetings. That is what the Party line says. But in Party practice in the localities, not everywhere, of course, it was considered that there is really no great need for a number of questions concerning internal Party practice to be discussed at Party meetings since the Central Committee and the other leading organisations will decide these questions.
The Party line says that our Party officials must without fail be elected unless there are insuperable obstacles to this, such as absence of the necessary Party standing, and so forth. You know that, according to the Party rules, secretaries of Gubernia Committees must have a pre-October Party standing, secretaries of Uyezd Committees must have at least three years', and units secretaries a year's, Party standing. In Party practice, however, it was often considered that since a certain Party standing was needed, no real elections were needed.
The Party line says that the Party membership must be kept informed about the work of the economic organisations, the factories and trusts, for, naturally, our Party units are morally responsible to the non-Party masses for the defects in the factories. Nevertheless, in Party practice it was considered that since there is a Central Committee which issues directives to the economic organisations, and since these economic organisations are bound by those directives, the latter will be carried out without control from below by the mass of the Party membership.
The Party line says that responsible workers in different branches of work, whether Party, economic, trade-union, or military workers, notwithstanding their specialisation in their own particular work, are interconnected, constitute inseparable parts of one whole, for they are all working in the common cause of the proletariat, which cannot be torn into parts. In Party practice, however, it was considered that since there is specialisation, division of labour according to properly Party activity and economic, military, etc., activity, the Party officials are not responsible for those working in the economic sphere, the latter are not responsible for the Party officials, and, in general, that the weakening and even loss of connection between them are inevitable.
Such, comrades, are, in general, the contradictions between the Party line, as registered in a number of decisions of our Congresses, from the Tenth to the Twelfth, and Party practice.
I am far from blaming the local organisations for this distortion of the Party line, for, when you come to examine it, this is not so much the fault as the misfortune of our local organisations. The nature of this misfortune, and how things could have taken this turn, I shall tell you later on, but I wanted to register this fact in order to reveal this contradiction to you and then try to propose measures for improvement.
I am also far from considering our Central Committee to be blameless. It, too, has sinned, as has every institution and organisation; it, too, shares part of the blame and part of the misfortune: blame, at least, for not, whatever the reason, exposing these defects in time, and for not taking measures to eliminate them.
But that is not the point now. The point now is to ascertain the causes of the defects I have just spoken about. Indeed, how did these defects arise, and how can they be removed?
The Causes of the Defects The first cause is that our Party organisations have not yet rid themselves, or have still not altogether rid themselves, of certain survivals of the war period, a period that has passed, but has left in the minds of our responsible workers vestiges of the military regime in the Party. I think that these survivals find expression in the view that our Party is not an independently acting organism, not an independently acting, militant organisation of the proletariat, but something in the nature of a system of institutions, something in the nature of a complex of institutions in which there are officials of lower rank and officials of higher rank. That, comrades, is a profoundly mistaken view that has nothing in common with Marxism; that view is a survival that we have inherited from the war period, when we militarised the Party, when the question of the independent activity of the mass of the Party membership had necessarily to be shifted into the background and military orders were of decisive importance. I do not remember that this view was ever definitely expressed; nevertheless, it, or elements of it, still influences our work. Comrades, we must combat such views with all our might, for they are a very real danger and create favourable conditions for the distortion in practice of the essentially correct line of our Party.
The second cause is that our state apparatus, which is bureaucratic to a considerable degree, exerts a certain amount of pressure on the Party and the Party workers. In 1917, when we were forging ahead, towards October, we imagined that we would have a Commune, a free association of working people, that we would put an end to bureaucracy in government institutions, and that it would be possible, if not in the immediate period, then within two or three short periods, to transform the state into a free association of working people. Practice has shown, however, that this is still an ideal which is a long way off, that to rid the state of the elements of bureaucracy, to transform Soviet society into a free association of working people, the people must have a high level of culture, peace conditions must be fully guaranteed all around us so as to remove the necessity of maintaining a large standing army, which entails heavy expenditure and cumbersome administrative departments, the very existence of which leaves its impress upon all the other state institutions. Our state apparatus is bureaucratic to a considerable degree, and it will remain so for a long time to come. Our Party comrades work in this apparatus, and the situation—I might say the atmosphere—in this bureaucratic apparatus is such that it helps to bureaucratise our Party workers and our Party organisations.
The third cause of the defects, comrades, is that some of our units are not sufficiently active, they are backward, and in some cases, particularly in the border regions, they are even wholly illiterate. In these districts, the units display little activity and are politically and culturally backward. That circumstance, too, undoubtedly creates a favourable soil for the distortion of the Party line.
The fourth cause is the absence of a sufficient number of trained Party comrades in the localities. Recently, in the Central Committee, I heard the report of a representative of one of the Ukrainian organisations. The reporter was a very capable comrade who shows great promise. He said that of 130 units, 80 have secretaries who were appointed by the Gubernia Committee. In answer to the remark that this organisation was acting wrongly in this respect, the comrade pleaded that there were no literate people in the units, that they consisted of new members, that the units themselves ask for secretaries to be sent them, and so forth. I may grant that half of what this comrade said was an overstatement, that the matter is not only that there are no trained people in the units, but also that the Gubernia Committee was over-zealous and followed the old tradition. But even if the Gubernia Committee was correct only to the extent of fifty per cent, is it not obvious that if there are such units in the Ukraine, how many more like them must there be in the border regions, where the organisations are young, where there are fewer Party cadres and less literacy than in the Ukraine? That is also one of the factors that create favourable conditions for the distortion in practice of the essentially correct Party line.
Lastly, the fifth cause—insufficient information. We sent out too little information, and this applies primarily to the Central Committee, possibly because it is overburdened with work. We receive too little information from the localities. This must cease. This is also a serious cause of the defects that have accumulated within the Party.
How should the Defects in Internal Party Life be Removed ? What measures must be adopted to remove these defects?
The first thing is tirelessly, by every means, to combat the survivals and habits of the war period in our Party, to combat the erroneous view that our Party is a system of institutions, and not a militant organisation of the proletariat, which is intellectually vigorous, acts independently, lives a full life, is destroying the old and creating the new.
Secondly, the activity of the mass of the Party membership must be increased; all questions of interest to the membership in so far as they can be openly discussed must be submitted to it for open discussion, and the possibility ensured of free criticism of all proposals made by the different Party bodies. Only in this way will it be possible to convert Party discipline into really conscious, really iron discipline; only in this way will it be possible to increase the political, economic and cultural experience of the mass of Party members; only in this way will it be possible to create the conditions necessary to enable the Party membership, step by step, to promote new active workers, new leaders, from its ranks.
Thirdly, the principle of election must be applied in practice to all Party bodies and official posts, if there are no insuperable obstacles to this such as lack of the necessary Party standing, and so forth. We must eliminate the practice of ignoring the will of the majority of the organisations in promoting comrades to responsible
Party posts, and we must see to it that the principle of election is actually applied.
Fourthly, there must exist under the Central Committee and the Gubernia and Regional Committees permanently functioning conferences of responsible workers in all fields of work—economic, Party, trade-union and military; these conferences must be held regularly and discuss any question they consider it necessary to discuss; the interconnection between the workers in all fields must not be broken; all these workers must feel that they are all members of a single Party family, working in a common cause, the cause of the proletariat, which is indivisible; the Central Committee and the local organisations must create an environment that will enable the Party to acquire and test the experience of our responsible workers in all spheres of work.
Fifthly, our Party units in the factories must be drawn into dealing with the various questions relating to the course of affairs in the respective enterprises and trusts. Things must be so arranged that the units are kept informed about the work of the administrations of our enterprises and trusts and are able to exert an influence on this work. You, as representatives of units, are aware how great is the moral responsibility of our factory units to the non-Party masses for the course of affairs in the factories. For the unit to be able to lead and win the following of the non-Party masses in the factory, for it to be able to bear responsibility for the course of affairs in the factory—and it certainly has a moral responsibility to the non-Party masses for defects in the work of the factory—the unit must be kept informed about these affairs, it must be possible for it to influence them in one way or another. Therefore, the units must be drawn into the discussion of economic questions relating to their factories, and economic conferences of representatives of the factory units in a given trust must be called from time to time to discuss questions relating to the affairs of the trust. This is one of the surest ways both of enlarging the economic experience of the Party membership and of organising control from below.
Sixthly, the quality of the membership of our Party units must be improved. Zinoviev has already said in an article of his that here and there the quality of the membership of our Party units is below that of the surrounding non-Party masses.
That statement, of course, must not be generalised and applied to all the units. It would be more exact to say the following for example: our Party units would be on a much higher cultural level than they are now, and would have much greater authority among non-Party people, if we had not denuded these units, if we had not taken from them people we needed for economic, administrative, trade-union and all sorts of other work. If our working-class comrades, the cadres we have taken from the units during the past six years, were to return to their units, does it need proof that those units would stand head and shoulders above all the non-Party workers, even the most advanced? Precisely because the Party has no other cadres with which to improve the state apparatus, precisely because the Party will be obliged to continue using that source, our units will remain on a somewhat unsatisfactory cultural level unless we take urgent measures to improve the quality of their membership. First of all, Party educational work in the units must be increased to the utmost; furthermore, we must get rid of the excessive formalism our local organisations sometimes display in accepting working-class comrades into the Party. I think that we must not allow ourselves to be bound by formalism; the Party can, and must, create easier conditions for the acceptance of new members from the ranks of the working class. That has already begun in the local organisations. The Party must take this matter in hand and launch an organised campaign for creating easier access to the Party for new members from workers at the bench.
Seventhly, work must be intensified among the non-Party workers. This is another means of improving the internal Party situation, of increasing the activity of the Party membership. I must say that our organisations are still paying little attention to the task of drawing non-Party workers into our Soviets. Take, for example, the elections to the Moscow Soviet that are being held now. I consider that one of the big defects in these elections is that too few non-Party people are being elected. It is said that there exists a decision of the organisation to the effect that at least a certain number, a certain percentage, etc., of non-Party people are to be elected; but I see that, in fact, a far smaller number is being elected. It is said that the masses are eager to elect only Communists. I have my doubts about that, comrades. I think that unless we show a certain degree of confidence in the non-Party people they may answer by becoming very distrustful of our organisations. This confidence in the non-Party people is absolutely necessary, comrades. Communists must be induced to withdraw their candidatures.
Speeches must not be delivered urging the election only of Communists; non-Party people must be encouraged, they must be drawn into the work of administering the state. We shall gain by this and in return receive the reciprocal confidence of the non-Party people in our organisations. The elections in Moscow are an example of the degree to which our organisations are beginning to isolate themselves within their Party shell instead of enlarging their field of activity and, step by step, rallying the non-Party people around themselves.
Eighthly, work among the peasants must be intensified. I do not know why our village units, which in some places are wilting, are losing their members and are not trusted much by the peasants (this must be admitted)—I do not know why, for instance, two practical tasks cannot be set these units: firstly, to interpret and popularise the Soviet laws which affect peasant life; secondly, to agitate for and disseminate elementary agronomic knowledge, if only the knowledge that it is necessary to plough the fields in proper time, to sift seed, etc. Do you know, comrades, that if every peasant were to decide to devote a little labour to the sifting of seed, it would be possible without land improvement, and without introducing new machines, to obtain an increase in crop yield amounting to about ten poods per dessiatin? And what does an increase in crop yield of ten poods per dessiatin mean? It means an increase in the gross crop of a thousand million poods per annum. And all this could be achieved without great effort. Why should not our village units take up this matter? Is it less important than talking about Curzon's policy? The peasants would then realise that the Communists have stopped engaging in empty talk and have got down to real business; and then our village units would win the boundless confidence of the peasants.
There is no need for me to stress how necessary it is, for improving and reviving Party life, to intensify Party and political educational work among the youth, the source of new cadres, in the Red Army, among women delegates, and among non-Party people in general.
Nor will I dwell upon the importance of increasing the interchange of information, about which I have already spoken, of increasing the supply of information from the top downwards and from below upwards.
Such, comrades, are the measures for improvement, the course towards internal Party democracy which the Central Committee set as far back as September of this year, and which must be put into practice by all Party organisations from top to bottom.
I would now like to deal with two extremes, two obsessions, on the question of workers' democracy that were to be noted in some of the discussion articles in Pravda.
The first extreme concerns the election principle. It manifests itself in some comrades wanting to have elections "throughout." Since we stand for the election principle, let us go the whole hog in electing! Party standing? What do we want that for? Elect whomever you please. That is a mistaken view, comrades. The Party will not accept it. Of course, we are not now at war; we are in a period of peaceful development. But we are now living under the NEP. Do not forget that, comrades. The Party began the purge not during, but after the war. Why? Because, during the war, fear of defeat drew the Party together into one whole, and some of the disruptive elements in the Party were compelled to keep to the general line of the Party, which was faced with the question of life or death. Now these bonds have fallen away, for we are not now at war; now we have the NEP, we have permitted a revival of capitalism, and the bourgeoisie is reviving. True, all this helps to purge the Party, to strengthen it; but on the other hand, we are being enveloped in a new atmosphere by the nascent and growing bourgeoisie, which is not very strong yet, but which has already succeeded in beating some of our co-operatives and trading organisations in internal trade. It was precisely after the introduction of the NEP that the Party began the purge and reduced its membership by half; it was precisely after the introduction of the NEP that the Party decided that, in order to protect our organisations from the contagion of the NEP, it was necessary, for example, to hinder the influx of non-proletarian elements into the Party, that it was necessary that Party officials should have a definite Party standing, and so forth. Was the Party right in taking these precautionary measures, which restricted "expanded" democracy? I think it was. That is why I think that we must have democracy, we must have the election principle, but the restrictive measures that were adopted by the Eleventh and Twelfth Congresses, at least the chief ones, must still remain in force.
The second extreme concerns the question of the limits of the discussion. This extreme manifests itself in some comrades demanding unlimited discussion; they think that the discussion of problems is the be all and end all of Party work and forget about the other aspect of Party work, namely, action, which calls for the implementation of the Party's decisions. At all events, this was the impression I gained from the short article by Radzin, who tried to substantiate the principle of unlimited discussion by a reference to Trotsky, who is alleged to have said that "the Party is a voluntary association of like-minded people." I searched for that sentence in Trotsky's works, but could not find it. Trotsky could scarcely have uttered it as a finished formula for the definition of the Party; and if he did utter it, he could scarcely have stopped there. The Party is not only an association of like-minded people; it is also an association of like-acting people, it is a militant association of like-acting people who are fighting on a common ideological basis (programme, tactics). I think that the reference to Trotsky is out of place, for I know Trotsky as one of the members of the Central Committee who most of all stress the active side of Party work. I think, therefore, that Radzin himself must bear responsibility for this definition. But what does this definition lead to? One of two possibilities: either that the Party will degenerate into a sect, into a philosophical school, for only in such narrow organisations is complete like-minded-ness possible; or that it will become a permanent debating society, eternally discussing and eternally arguing, until the point is reached where factions form and the Party is split. Our Party cannot accept either of these possibilities. This is why I think that the discussion of problems is needed, a discussion is needed, but limits must be set to such discussion in order to safeguard the Party, to safeguard this fighting unit of the proletariat, against degenerating into a debating society.
In concluding my report, I must warn you, comrades, against these two extremes. I think that if we reject both these extremes and honestly and resolutely steer the course towards internal Party democracy that the Central Committee set already in September of this year, we shall certainly achieve an improvement in our Party work. (Applause.)
Pravda, No. 277, December 6, 1923
Notes 1. This refers to the commission set up in conformity with the decision of the Political Bureau and of the Plenum of the Central Committee of the R.C.P.(B.) which took place on September 23-25, 1923.
Collected Works Index Volume 5 Index Works by Decade J. V. Stalin Archive Marxists Internet Archive

When you were younger did you ever think about what you wanted to do with your life and end up doing something totally different? Because that's what I did! Dad of 2 plus dog dad of 2! I live in south which is not where I'm from originally. I enjoy playing random games on the pc and reading things of no beneficial other than enjoyment. I'm really into music and am a huge fan of discovering new artists, so if you like rock/metal/indy stuff I am down to share music. I'm no chef but I'd say I'm a decent cook. While I'm not working or chasing around my minions I like to get outside and go on hikes with my two dogs.

I'm a 20-year-old AMAB (I don't give myself a gender because honestly, I don't even know if I'm really a "man").
I've been asking myself this question for about 1 week and I don't know why, it tortures my mind to have and get an answer.
The question popped into my head like that, one day, when I had just woken up. I read articles about it, started asking around. And all this has greatly interested me.
I'm asking myself this question because I think I may have hit on one of the problems I have in my life, but as I have other specificities, I wonder if it's not just me trying to find a justification for my feelings.
To explain: I have ADHD (diagnosed very young), I have anxiety disorders and I'm also depressed, with a huge lack of self-confidence, so I naturally tend to think that maybe that's why I'm asking myself the question rather than myself, because I see it as a "solution" to "assuming my personality"?
So to find out if this is indeed gender dysphoria or just a sign of my low self-esteem (or maybe the two are related).
The "for" signs:
-I've always been different since I was little. Probably related to my neurodivergence, but that needs to be stressed.
-I'm not particularly attached to my gender. I've always seen myself as more of an entity or a person than a gender. It's borderline if I don't pay attention to the fact that I have a male body.
-I had a lot more girl friends than boy friends when I was young, and I liked them a lot. We used to play a lot together.
-Interest in romance at a young age or stereotypically "feminine" traits such as empathy, kindness, etc. I've always been more valued than my gender. I've always been more valued by my girl friends than my boy friends, who used to make fun of me because I was bad at sports or because I was "weird" (well, that could be attributed to neurodivergence).
-My family used to make fun of me because I wasn't "masculine" enough and I wasn't the male cliché.
-I appreciate "feminine" aesthetics much more than masculine ones. I love to see beautiful women's clothing and how it's made.
-I don't see love the same way my friends do. I have no sexual desire (I'm asexual) and I still see it as a kind of intense spiritual connection.
-When I see heterosexual romances, it disgusts me because they're usually ultra-stereotyped and clichéd. Queer romances excite me much more. And especially lesbian romances.
-I'll say it again: I love the "feminine" aesthetic: fushia colors, pink everywhere, etc. I like to dress in different clothes. I like to dress eccentrically.
-I take the button test (I'd change sex if I could).
-I'm indifferent to my body. It's just "fat" to me (depersonalization).
-Lately, since I've been asking myself this question, I've been dropping a lot of unintentional undertones related to transidentity.
-I play a "hyper-masculine" character who is a caricature of man in his most "primitive" instincts when no one is home to mock those same instincts. I feel like I'm forcing myself to be masculine. I also feel like I also mock myself for being a "insecure man" and a "man" basically.
-I'm a bit ashamed to admit this one, but I'm hypersensitive to being seen as feminine (probably because I've been put down about it since childhood). But it's at a stage where it's ridiculous (I've refused to see films because they were too "girly"... only to see them on the sly when no one sees me). I feel like I'm constantly repressing myself. I fear people thinking I’m not my gender (I was raised in an conservative house) and hating myself, but at the same time, I hate myself for not being able to just be proud of what I like and what I am. I think it’s because I just learned to hate what I am when if I accepted it, I wouldn’t be so triggered of being called "girly".
-I've had a conflict in my head between an "empathetic" version and a "hypermasculine over the top" version for about 4 years.
-Remember when I used to talk about a special romantic bond? I've always had this kind of bond with female fictional characters who have all these qualities, and I envy them for it. Especially the one about the samaritans.
-I feel that being a man will make me unhappy in the future because it will impose things on me that I don't want.
-being trans doesn’t really afraid me, it’s more the consequence and social repercussions that makes me anxious.
Now, the arguments against:
-I'm indifferent to my body, It doesn’t feel weird to have a penis even if I find it not really esthetic, I don't mind being seen as a man, even if since I had that thought about being maybe a trans, I've been embarrassed by being associated with the one. But before that, I didn't care.
-I have interests that are also stereotypically male (history/video games/philosophy/political science/computers/etc.).
-I've never wondered about that recently. I don't have gender dysphoria. It's just that I feel like I'm repressing my feminine side.
-I'm afraid of being a woman. People are ALL going to judge me, and I'll get imposter syndrome. But normally, you're supposed to be proud to express yourself as such.
-I have stereotypically masculine traits. Not a lot, but there are some: competition, wanting to be disciplined and so on.
-I like to make vulgar jokes or behave like a male cliché (I'm also putting this here because it can also be a "against" sign).
-I enjoy interacting with my male friends. I like to play into their sarcasm.
-Maybe it's just a sign of low self-esteem.
-I've only asked myself this question recently.
-I haven't felt any body dysfunction and my body seems to like testosterone.
-I behave too much like a "man" for my taste.
I apologize if this sounds a bit misogynistic or misandrist or cliché, but I wanted to be as authentic as possible in my description.
Thank you in advance for your response. I look forward to reading your opinions on it.

When you were younger did you ever think about what you wanted to do with your life and end up doing something totally different? Because that's what I did! Dad of 2 plus dog dad of 2! I live in south which is not where I'm from originally. I enjoy playing random games on the pc and reading things of no beneficial other than enjoyment. I'm really into music and am a huge fan of discovering new artists, so if you like rock/metal/indy stuff I am down to share music. I'm no chef but I'd say I'm a decent cook. While I'm not working or chasing around my minions I like to get outside and go on hikes with my two dogs.

Born to a rich family, studied in private schools her whole life, lived in another city to study commerce, nursing, chemical engineering, and mechanical engineering. Bought multiple vinyl records of her favorite bands, multiple collections of comics, had her own motorcycles, souvenirs from multiple cities she traveled to.
While others my age would hear from their parents how hard it was to travel just to get to school during their youth, mine would complain the driver would leave her if she wasn't fast enough.
I on the other hand lived in poverty, would only hear her Travels to different cities, the resorts and restaurants she went to, the things she bought, the hobbies she had, the experiences she experienced. When's my turn? At 22 just a highschool graduate, never got the chance of college. Seeing my batch mates about to graduate this year, looking at social media makes me sick, I want to puke, but I bit my tongue everytime. I'm happy for them, I wish I could say the same for my self.
You're not a mom, you're a spoiled Daddy's girl that got jealous of your siblings having children and decided you want your own.
Just say you never wanted children, stop saying all you wanted in your youth was to die young and beautiful. Now all I want is too just fucking die.
I can't even work while study because of your incompetent, irresponsible, selfish personality. You can't even cook, you can't even clean, you can't even make friends and can never be happy for others. Laughing at my cousin for working at a pawnshop just because she graduated at an amazing University and earning minimum wage.
What are you even laughing at? Your multiple degrees lying around? The fact that you turned down a job from our country's bank? Because you didn't want to? I would've understood you turning down that offer in your youth, not while having 3 kids with no husband, no money, and no work.
Depending on you parents money? How shameless, you decided that they're taking care of you till death? Well too bad they died years ago so you decided that you're now OUR responsibility, no not the other way around. We take care of you, little 2nd grade me.
Kept shaming us that your friends kid are taking care of them already, like I'm sorry you decided to have kids IN YOUR LATE 30S WITH NO JOB OR HUSBAND JUST YOUR PARENTS RETIREMENT MONEY, you don't even have that.
And here I am now, just a highschool graduate who wanted to step foot into college, passed the exams and interviews for our public university, all I needed was to enroll. But no, you have no job, can't cook or even clean. I CANNOT FUCKING BALANCE A FULL TIME JOB, SCHOOL, COOK, CLEAN EVRY FUCKING DAY BECAUSE YOU DECIDED TO TRASH THE WHOLE HOUSE AND FUCKING SING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WHEN I SHOULD BE SLEEPING, WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT? And when I tell you to stop singing you start crying saying this is your only happiness, you can't even sing, no one in your life ever told you that because you would react like a spoiled brat, fucking hell.
I just want to study, it hurts seeing the people I'm supposed to graduate with, graduate. I want proper and genuine sleep, I want to go home with a clean and organized home, I want to just sit and eat after working. I want to draw during my days off, and when I have free time.

When you were younger did you ever think about what you wanted to do with your life and end up doing something totally different? Because that's what I did! Dad of 2 plus dog dad of 2! I live in south which is not where I'm from originally. I enjoy playing random games on the pc and reading things of no beneficial other than enjoyment. I'm really into music and am a huge fan of discovering new artists, so if you like rock/metal/indy stuff I am down to share music. I'm no chef but I'd say I'm a decent cook. While I'm not working or chasing around my minions I like to get outside and go on hikes with my two dogs.

disclaimer that i am NOT certified. i am simply an NA and have a lot less responsibilities. my hospital trained me for a week and put me on my medsurg/telemetry floor. i basically just run errands for my nurses/patients, do patient care, and act (minimally) as a housekeeper. another disclaimer that this is kind of a long rant.
i’ve been here since March 13, 2023. i love my job, kind of, but god, this job is so, so draining. i miss working simpler jobs where i didn’t take work home with me. i’ve had shifts that left me in a bad mood for days after. i have a lot taking a toll on me OUTSIDE of work. work used to be my escape.
there’s so much workplace drama as well, it’s like primary school all over again. and it’s always the older nurses. don’t get me wrong, there’s several coworkers that i love with all of my heart. we go out for lunch and dinner together, go on hikes, etc.
there’s a select few of my nurses who i have NEVER seen do patient care in my year of working. it’s all task delegation, even when i’m the only aide on my floor of 36 patients. they have a major superiority complex and do everything they can to avoid helping me. some will see that i’m clearly in the middle of something and obviously overwhelmed and ask me to get a set of vitals so they can give their pain meds. i already have to get 18 sets of vitals every 4 hours, which takes me 1-1.5 hours as it is. by the time i’m inished, i’m starting again.
i’ve been physically, verbally, mentally, emotionally abused by patients. i’ve been shamed for my tattoos, my scrubs, my weight, my height. i’ve been physically and verbally sexually harassed way too often.
i’m looked down on by my managers, nurses, NPs, PAs, residents, doctors, etc. but what hurts the most is my patients seeing me as less-than. i know i’m just an assistant, but i don’t want to be seen as “just” an assistant. of course, sometimes i get lovely patients, some of which are frequent fliers who love seeing me again.
most of my patients are geriatric and/or incontinent. most of my days consist of constant bed changes. so many are demented and/or fall risks who won’t stop getting out of bed, and my nurses get annoyed when i ask them for help getting them back in bed.
i have sciatica and it’s dreadful. some days i can barely make it and my legs will hurt for days after my shift. everyone looks down on me for needing to sit down for a while but they don’t understand the pain i’m in (unmedicated and untreated). i was put on a steroid packet for a month and it saved me, but that was only temporary. i can’t get an MRI until i complete 6 weeks of PT 3 days a week so my insurance will cover it, but i don’t have time between work and school, both full time. i told my PCP this so she referred me to a chiropractor. thanks but no thanks.
i’m VERY anemic and i’m on supplements, but they make me so constipated. i have to take them every other day and take laxatives almost daily, which i know is bad for you.
i have bipolar II, anxiety, and possibly ADHD. i can be on the brink of being suicidal and still have to plaster a smile on my face for my patients. they ask me how i am but i tell myself not to complain because i know they’re in a worse position than me and it’s like rubbing it in their faces. i’ll just say “Tired! How about you, honey?”
i’ve had chronic tachycardia since birth. it’s not uncommon for my HR to be in the 140s-150s, but i’ve seen it in the 170s. i’m also addicted to caffeine which is a great combination. i used to drink 3 monsters a day but my partner made me cut back for my health. my coworkers would hide them from me haha. it doesn’t even energize me anymore; it just makes me feel normal.
my back is already killing me. i’m only 20 years old. i know that nursing kills your back as well, but after gaining 2 years of experience and completing my BSN, i will be able to specialize in WOC where i won’t hurt my back as much. my MIL is a WOC nurse who invites me to do rounds with her and shadow her while she charts and does consults, and i’ve decided that’s my dream job. it’s something i’m genuinely looking forward to. my boyfriend asked, “if you could have any job, and pay was the same across the board, what would it be?” i told him i’d still be a WOC nurse.
i’m in pre-nursing right now, but once i’m officially in the nursing program, my hospital will pay for most of my schooling. however, i will have to sign a contract with them (i can’t remember if it’s 3 or 5 years. i think they changed it recently.). i figured it would be fine, since i’ll be specializing at this hospital. but this position is killing my physical and mental health. i don’t know. i can’t bring myself to leave so i’m just venting. thanks for reading if you got this far.

I hate to say this but i just read an article where an Ai engineer wrote scripts to build agents that generates marketing contents (both images and text) for a restaurant. On our regular traditional day this is supposed to be done by a team of content writers and marketers .
This use of AI have eliminated this roles and Currently its just 1 person in charge of the marketing stuff.
Do you think you can be replaced? What's your thought on the things people can do to be okay with this era we are in.

How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself. 17, male Just your average quiet teenager • Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow? not that I know of • Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it? Growing up isn't a thing I really recall easily, but I was born in a semi-poor family of 4 members(me,brother,and parents ofc), parents didn't really get along and eventually they split up and I had to fill the role of the father for my brother. Mostly my mother would insist on religion and such, and most of my morals are from her. Now I just think some of them are pretty stupid • What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not? I am in high school currently, I would like to become a doctor, something that ties into sports because I do karate and I really love this sport (I am at the brown belt currently) • If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed? It could go both ways, either I do something by myself in that weekend or I would like to go hang out with others(on calls mostly just to listen and maybe include myself, joke around and all) but if I really have nothing to do I feel miserable if I stay and think about my current situation, not having much going on for me.. • What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities? Playing on my computer and Karate, I am pretty good at sports now but before I really wasn't in a good physical condition (I was fat). But I prefer both indoor activities and outdoor , but mostly sticking with indoor cause no opportunities to go outside which is sad really... • How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate? Not really curious about stuff that aren't of use to me or I don't see value in, like yeah if I need to know something I will hold onto that but for myself for no reason going out to learn something isn't really for me.. • Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be? I don't really go for leadership if I don't have a good level of expertise on the subject, but when I do it's good. I try to simplify my strategizing because there's no point in complicating a plan and plus it helps with staying flexible • Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
I don't know what to answer on this "coordination" thing.. But I do enjoy working with my hands even if it won't be good, from time to time I think about cooking food and such for myself/ family • Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
No, I used to like it as a kid mostly because of school, it would get recognition and I would actually think "hell yeah I am the best artist!" (kind of), but since it wouldn't get much recognition I stopped being like that.. kind of cringing at my past behaviour honestly • What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
I don't think bout them too much About the past I really don't recall memories, unless it's episodic memory because then I remember what happend all of that , not with all the details tho And I don't stay and think much about my future, I don't like thinking in advance what I'm gonna do but I am indifferent towards it. I try to remain on the lookout for possibilities that could help me later or in the moment
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
People don't really come to me for help unless they try to use me(and ofc I don't let them) But it would go one of the two ways: either I help them because I feel obligated too, or actually want to show the person I am interested into something of theirs(this sounds wrong lol) or I simply say no and go on about my day
• Do you need logical consistency in your life?
yeah, I don't really like to have things that make no sense around me which is why I try to make sense of everything even including this system of cognitive functions (which I read a bit but ehh not too sure how they apply to me that is why I am here in the first place)
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
Not too much , but I do love when I am efficient and productive. Because in free time if I have nothing to work towards I feel pointless, and miserable.. • Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them? I do karate and play on my pc, that is pretty much it.. I love doing this sport, I want to continue on practicing this sport and maybe become a coach myself + becoming a doctor for a field like kinetotherapy (i hope that is how you call it idk how it is in english)
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
I see the logic behind things pretty easy, but when I don't then I still try to make sense of everything. But I learn what I need to go further in what I am doing, and prefer classes where physical senses are used a lot followed by logic and creativity. I like to juggle with the logic of the subject in the moment and see how the equasion in front of me could lay out.
• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
Like I said I try to simplify planning so I try to do the same with strategizing, but sometimes a detailed strategy is the best , and even improvising is good because something could happen and set you off course • What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
To be productive, influence others, eventually control others (for their good/our good)
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
I get uncomfortable around people who are in a emotional outburst, and look to me for support. I am bad with emotions.. My fear is being rejected, and exploited in a bad way, even if it doesn't happen (which might be because others consider me intimidating and arrogant, which I don't reslly think I am like that) I still know how to manage it, kind of..
• What do the "highs" in your life look like? Really looking forward to everything, actually having something going on in my life. Being overall happy and enthusiastic
• What do the "lows" in your life look like? First thing that I would say is: melancholy, and thinking deeply about life, in a depressing way. Even my friend said that my “miserable” thoughts align with some philoshopies like nihilism and such. But mostly get withdrawn from others, feeling stuck and unable of changing things and maybe more emotional but when alone • How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so? I am pretty attached to it but when alone I do tend to daydream, and think of possible outcomes if I do that, this etc But even daydreaming I am aware of my surroundings
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
When I have nothing to do I just think of “what if” scenarios, even in real life when I am bored and disengaged from anything
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
Depends, I usually try to always be decisive, and I may juggle back n forth with options and outcomes but I really get indecisive for personal stuff but decisive for outside stuff
• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
I don't really mess with my emotions, I just supress them because they will make me feel miserable and melancholic and I dislike feeling like that… a lot
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
I tend to do this a lot with people who I don't know , because I don't know how they'll react so I do this but at the same time kind of closing off the room to chat about it more and such
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why? I don't break rules but I also don't really care about them when doing something just as long as it won't get me punished and it won't harm others (ofc), eventually exploiting them. But I don't really care too much about them cause if you gonna do your job good you won't break them. I dislike having limits from others, it's annoying
I took the Michael Caloz test and it said ENTJ, ESTP and ESTJ most likely results

Background: I live in an apartment right behind a Dollar store/strip mall where I often see homeless people travel through to go pick in the dumpsters. My windows are pretty thin and cheap so I hear everything outside and I can always tell when someone is walking by or in the dumpster. On occasion, a few times a year I will be woken up to a man/woman on drugs (assuming) yelling about random things pacing back and forth. Whenever this happens I never get involved and just ignore it since they don’t seem to harm anyone, just annoying.
AIW? So this morning at 7am I wake up to a woman crying loudly. It wasn’t a type of cry where someone is mildly upset. It sounded like a cry for help, as if she was in pain. She would pause in between the cries and say “ohh my god!!, someone…. Please help me-eheheheh!” But very faintly. At this point I jolt out of bed with full adrenaline, look outside and I can’t see her behind the bush that she’s around so I quickly put on my crocs, grab my keys, my phone, and I even grab a pocket knife just to expect the worst because I don’t know what I’m about to walk into. I carefully walk outside to make sure there’s no danger, and I see her walking towards our apartment parking lot still crying, but not saying “help” anymore. I also notice at this time a man about her height patting her back looking like he’s trying to comfort her in some way but it looks like she calmed down. They are not aware of my presence until…
I yell “hey!”. They both turn to me and I said “is she alright?” And the lady says “yes! I’m sorry! Thank you.” The man didn’t say anything and continued to walk with her, but still in a comforting way.
Now here I am back in bed questioning why I didn’t ask what was wrong, or if I could help in any way. I didn’t even stick around outside to note where they were going. I just went back inside.
There’s this weird line as a concerned citizen whether or not to mind your own business or not. Two days ago I called 911 for the first time after witnessing a gnarly car accident. That kind of freaked me out. Now I wonder if I should have done the same today.

Don't wanna make an insanely long post but basically I got diagnosed and titrated with a private assessor (referred to by the NHS) and went onto getting meds from the GP. Shortage comes and I can't get meds and about a month in I get told that they either don't have my shared care agreement or that its void somehow (got told both at some point) and that I would have to get re-diagnosed within the NHS; which would obviously take months.
So months later I get sent to an initial assessor who basically just confirms that, yeah this person would benefit from ADHD medication, and sends me on to another assessment with the team that handles prescribing the meds.
The assessment felt fine and normal at the time, but a week or so later I receive the letter of the assessment write up and the doctor writes that he can't justify recommending ADHD meds because "further exploration of possible autism would be more in [my]'s long term benefit." So I re-read the assessment notes and there's so many statements that are just incorrect or misinterpreted, stating things about my past experiences that are just vehemently untrue and I would never have implied otherwise.
Thinking back to the assessment, I remember very few questions related directly to ADHD but a lot of questions related to symptoms of both ADHD and ASD; the assessment even says that the fidgeting I did in the assessment "appeared more in keeping with stimming... than hyperactivity" which honestly made me laugh cause how can you imply that I didn't fidget correctly.
Initially, I didn't want to believe there was any malicious intent and that it must have just been me explaining myself poorly in some situations but the more I think about it the more I feel like there's no way anyone could have gotten the things wrong that they got wrong. Saying stuff like I enjoyed my old job and the "routine" it brought which is something I have never and would never say because I fucking hated my old job.
I've emailed them and rang them looking for a second opinion and then contacted the complaints department when they didn't respond and I'm still waiting to hear back from them.
Was wondering if anyone else has been through something similar to this, where you're basically denied a diagnosis based on stuff that is inaccurate? I don't wanna get too tinfoil-hat-y but if this isn't an uncommon occurrence then I'd definitely suspect some kind of bullshit happening.

‼️ Long post a head
Like many others, I wanted to experience the American Dream. Now it is a long gone story, especially for us Indians. But I just wanted to know your opinions.
Just a brief background of me: Graduated in 2020 with hospitality bachelors from a tier-3 affiliated University and tier-100 institute (actually 2021, but my certificate mentioned I completed in June 2020 💀), Been jobless till Aug 2022, switched in Feb 2023 and quit that in June 2023. My manager was toxic, and also planned to give CAT 2023. And it went horrible. Finally landed a job again in April.
Acads: 9.3/67%/72%
Andharu velthunnaru nen kooda vellali Ani aithey kaadhuu. I barely have any circle and even in that circle I don't have any known person went to US.
I genuinely like that place, and ofcourse the added benefits, like the number of opportunities(not now), good quality of life, gudha baali earn cheyyochu, etc.,
Starting from the Shortlisting universities to getting an H1B, there are a lot of uncertainties. Even after getting H1B, things won't go as you planned.
Does this worth the risk?
I am ready to take risks, but sometimes I feel it more riskier than what we actually think it would be in the beginning.
My experience is in analytics domain, although my job titles are not named as such, but I my experience is from that domain, planning for analytics courses, it could be data or business. Not targeting any Ivy leagues. Even tier-2 universities are fine by me. I heard even some state universities are good as well.
Shortlisting universities is a long game. Let's keep it aside. Sometimes I feel like all I just need is an entry and I would be good. But other times I feel, I deserve a good degree from a good university. Considering my profile I often doubt that can happen.
I just want to take my decision as early as possible so that I can focus on GRE. Also, Does great GRE score can compensate my previous mistakes?
Please give your opinions and share your experiences. The cost of each stage is also going to take a hit on my savings, trying hard to save as much as I can.
Considering the upcoming elections, where majority are saying it will be Trump again, if he is, I think the immigration laws might become more strict. And the recession, kontha mandhi Inka mundhu vundhi musala pandaga antunnaru.
So much going in my brain, that I can't put it words.
Other questions related to the procedure
Is taking GRE in August is too late? Considering if I fail in my first attempt, again I have to give it in next 5 weeks. Let's say if I gave my first in August 2nd week, 2nd would be in Sept 3rd week. Will this process hinder my SOP writings and other things of the application process.
Is August to October enough to finalize SOP's, and other things for submitting applications?
Does applying early really have an edge?
I don't have any strong financial support, I have to take loan, but again no properties.
In general, companies in US, doesn't really care about where you are graduated from, they only measure on basis of skill. Is this the reality? Because I am from Hospitality, learned some python, SQL and entered into analytics field. This is one of the reason where I sometimes feel I just need an entry.
Any advice is highly appreciated, TIA

Good morning! I can’t believe it’s almost Wednesday. To anyone who is just getting started: just know if you keep your head down and stay busy, your sober days will start to add up VERY quickly. I never thought I would be able to say that. If you are worried about being bored, still do boring activities. It turns out once you are doing them, you realize they aren’t actually that boring. At the beginning, I thought NOTHING could come close to the level that alcohol kept me busy. This is the farthest thing from being true, it’s just the power of alcoholism talking to your brain. Once booze loosens its grip on your life, you start to appreciate more simple things… it will take time, but it REALLY does happen. Another thing I’d like to mention... most of the things you hear people with years of sobriety say, end up being true. Please just keep the faith in this process and stay busy. You are not alone in this, we all are going through the exact same thoughts and feelings.
I will NOT have a single drop of alcohol today! I hope everyone has an awesome hump day :)
Reggie

So me(29f) and my boyfriend(26m) are nevermets but have been together for 6 months. I'm planning to visit him this year, and we’re both looking forward to it. However, there are three things that have been bothering me.
First, he's too broke to afford anything. We're both still students, so I don't even care if he's rich or poor but the problem is that I can't expect anything from him. He lives in a cheap hostel with a shared bathroom and suggested that I stay with him there and pay half. I found a cheap hotel where we could have some privacy, but he said he didn't want to pay for two accommodations at the same time since he couldn’t leave the hostel this year. I don't think we'll even go to a restaurant cause I know he will say it's too expensive all the time and he once mentioned that he never pays even on a first date, which is okay with me, but it makes me feel like I can’t expect anything, even though I'll be spending around $1500 on flights alone to visit him. The total travel expenses would be around $3000-$4000.
Second, he never even considers visiting me. He just expects me to come visit him and eventually move to his country so that we can make our relationship work. probably this is because there is no way for him to afford the travel costs, but it’s still a huge turn-off. If he did visit me, I would gratefully pay for accommodations or even split the total expenses, including flights, even though I know he wouldn't do the same for me.
Lastly, and most critically, I can't help but think he's not that into me. His words are incredibly sweet, but I’ve never felt loved by his actions. I clearly like him more than he likes me, which is okay for now, but I wonder if spending so much money and taking the risk to visit him is a good idea.
Well I know I sound stupid, but yeah I still like this guy a lot and don't want to date other guys yet. Sorry for the long story, but I really want to know what you all think.

My partner (m19) and I (f19) have been dating for almost 2 years now. Him and I are in different universities and in a medium distance relationship as he comes back home almost every weekend. We started dating a month before he left for college and had quite a rocky start. I would say I was extremely trusting in the starting of the relationship and felt quite secure. None of the issues we had were related to a third person. But as time went on, a couple of my friends who go to the same uni as him started telling me things about his behaviour which slowly made me lose my trust. For instance, one time he went for a party, got shit faced and the next thing you know two girls were carrying him to their room. I got to know this a couple of days later through a friend. When I confronted him about it and asked him what happened, he just said he didn’t remember. Another time some girl complained about him touching her inappropriately. Somehow I convinced myself to get over these things as it wasn’t like he straight up cheated on me. Like he toed the line but never crossed it. My dilemma now is, looking at his past, I don’t know how much I can trust him, especially in a situation where drinking is involved. He’s made a new female friend in his uni and whenever he’s with her he’ll never text me or tell me. It’s only after they’ve met he mentions that he met her. What really throws me off is that usually when he’s with his friends he does check his phone and texts me. Even if it’s only one text. But when he’s with her there’s just radio silence from his end, till he gets back. One time he went to her house, I had injured my neck so he came to meet me first. He told me that he’s going to her house with another friend of theirs who was a guy. So I didn’t really mind. His plan was to go there for an hour or two and then go to the gym. One thing about him is that he never misses a day of gym. Even when we met on Christmas, I really wanted to watch a movie with him at home, but he told me he had to go to the gym. Anyways, he reached her house around 6 and I called him at 10, and he was still at her house. I asked him if his friend was still there with them and he told me that he had to leave early. I asked him why he missed gym, his excuse was that he had too many brownies and his stomach would hurt. We fought about this and eventually I had to get over this too. Fast forward a couple of months, we decided to go for clubbing and he invited his female friend too. We were commuting in 2 cars. He was with his female friend, another friend of his and one of my friends while I went in the other car. They reached before I did. While I was on the way, my friend called me and told me that my boyfriend and his female friend went to the bathroom together, and like kept going together. His other friend asked my friend if they were going to “f” each other and that he could sense a vibe. I reached the club and started noticing things myself. Even after I came he was still holding her hand and taking her to the washroom. I confronted him about all of this after we came back. His only defence was that he didn’t want her to get lost and he was the only person she knew there. What pissed me off was that he had no problem with me going to the washroom all by myself. But ofc he didn’t want her to get lost. Anyways currently they’re still friends and meet one on one. Till now I’d never asked him to distance himself from anyone, not even her. But everything that has happened keeps bothering me. It’s like I’m living with a dark cloud over my head just waiting for something to go wrong. I never had a problem with my partner having friends of the opposite gender, but there have to be boundaries. I’ve made it very clear how uncomfortable this relationship of his makes me. But he chooses to do nothing about it. His defence is that they’re just friends and he can’t just “throw people out like trash” I never asked him to do that. All I wanted was for him to respect our relationship and have some boundaries. Now I don’t know if I’m overreacting and just reading into all this too much. Any advice on how to deal with this would be much appreciated🙏🙏

Another addition to why I can't wait to move out.
I can't walk in barefeet when at home with step dad.
He's always like "put something on your feet." "bare feet. 😒" "where's your slippers?" "let me see your feet (to see how dirty they are)" etc I notice he never says this to brother though. Mom always has slippers on so he doesn't say it to her. I shower everyday and clean my feet so don't know what his problem is.
I find it ridiculous I gotta put on slippers to leave my room even when it's hot inside I still got to wear them or socks cos" the floors dirty and you're getting into bed with dirty feet." even though he doesn't sleep in my bed 😒
One time I came down with bare feet and I hadn't even stepped foot on the last step and he saw me and shouted "Put something on your feet!!!! 😡"
Bloody hell you'd think it was a matter of life and death or I was about to step on broken glass or something. I'm sure he has some hidden foot fetish or fear or something. I asked my real life friends and online friends and everyone said no one has issues with them walking barefoot so it's literally just me.
He also was miffed when I didn't empty/fill the dishwasher after I came in from working 12 hour night shift and when I said I was tired he was "you think you're the only one that's tired? Welcome to full time work." and I said "No but I was actually falling asleep on the motorway. This car next to me beeped cos I was drifting." then he was like "That's why you need to come straight home." I said "I do but I was stuck in a traffic jam for an hour then when I came back I only had 4 hours til I had to be up again." That ended things for a bit.
Could make a whole post about the problems he has with where I park and acts like I'm killing him when I park on the drive. 😒😒
I didn't have his number for ages I'd ask my mom for his number if I needed him, same with brother. I've got him down as Melvin.

Hey guys,
I know this will be a pretty common complaint but i think i am just typing this as sort of therapy to let Go of what is tearing me apart. Also sorry for Bad english and/or spelling mistakes, I am Not native speaking.
I started accutane 3 months ago, 20mg for the First, 10mg for the Second, 20mg for the 3rd and now since one week I am on 30mg. Initially my skin got better right off the start but the Progress Kind of stagnated when we went down to 10mg ( didnt really get much worse, but also Not better )
Now since last week, I started taking 30mg and its gone waaaay worse, so many whiteheads and inflammed pimples, my Face gets so dry and my lips got worse too. I am feeling so down because it has been 90 days and I feel After going forward I am now going backwards. I Tell my Self it will get better and eventually clear my up but Deep down There is this constant fear that it wont work and so on. What makes things a lot worse is that i kinda fell in love with this one Girl over the last Couple of months and we had some Great time together but now since I am purging I cant meet with her ( i know You guys will say she will Not mind etc., but i just cant ).
I dont know what exactly I am asking for, but I feel its somewhat between motivation and encouragement.
I JUST cant feel pretty althogh I think i am Pretty ( without the acne ) and i cant Change my fckng Self-perception …
Anyways there is no way I would quit accutane now because I Remain confident it will eventually be one of the best things but i AM struggling mentally.
It just amazes me how acne Can really take over your life, Influence it and kill your Self Esteem and confidence.
Sincerly

To give a little background on me I (26)m have 3 bothers ages (20)m (15)m (8)m and have worked in EMS currently, as a correctional officer I have seen a lot more than the typical person for my age group so I have to deal with the stuff I have seen and some days are rough I tell everyone that certain things can tick me off or give me a flashback walking up on a scene when I was in EMS personally I don't like people grabbing my back or poking due to working with inmates I have been assaulted and grabbed by them and it triggers me to go into a defensive position which I am trained to do so and I try not to do that around family but my mother is very self-center being the baby she thinks she can get away with things all the time anyways she's always grabbing my back doing things that can trigger my ptsd and she says since I'm her son she can do that and "I need to get over it". It can be overwhelming at times I tell her all the time hey don't grab my back like that or try to bring up something from my past experiences and I'll talk about a little bit here and there but I don't go into details with it my brothers try not to do the things she does because they have seen how I get depressed or agitated so I try to be the big brother and conceal it the best I can for an example they know that if I'm doing something or relaxing they'll say my name to get my attention or make a noise near me or we be messing around but don't come out of nowhere and be grabbing me because I'll go into a defensive position and there's a possibility that you would get hurt so catching up on the recent events we went on a family vacation at the beach had a good dinner and had a moment on the way back to the vacation house which made me agitated and I told everyone about it a few family members were drinking and of course, my mother was one of them so as we were coming into the house I forgot my phone in the car and my little brother (15)m was coming from the car and as I was trying to get his attention to grab my phone my mother came up behind me push me up against the railing and hold me me there for a second triggering me to go into a defensive position I was wearing boots and I kicked whoever off my back because of it and she proceeded to yell at me for being an asshole for kicking her off me I told her that you know better than to do that to me she replied back saying I'm your mother you need to get over it and I replied back saying you need to get over your self and think about others sometimes so the next few days we have been here she has been ignoring me or been in the room because I hurt her leg and making myself feel bad for her I do feel bad for hurting her but how many times do I have to tell her not to do those things or am I overthinking it idk anymore.

I female age 15 was living in a camper in Rhode Island with my mom age 31 and my dad age 33 along with 2 siblings my mom got into a car crash which gave her a concussion so I had to take care of my family and was like a house wife every time I got off from school my dad didn't help unless it involved my siblings with his game console or with nothing other than steal my mom's stuff to go through it to make sure she didnt catch him cheating on her which she did but I hid it all which he had a suspicion of but my mom was acting like a child at the time I wasn't focused on the remarks my dad would make when i was In shorts about how my butt looked like mom's but bigger and how I was better than her while my mom was getting better my was about to be 15 but I notice while my dad made dirty remarks he was reading a online book and I caught him multiple times in my parents bedroom alone rocking his stick and why I mentioned this is because that book he was reading was my whole bathroom situation but with Mafia people in his book while reading my mom was mostly recovered by the week before my birthday and my dad gas lighted her that I did nothing while he did everything and my mom believed him for 2 days before he tattled on himself about looking through her phone and finding evidence of him cheating which make them fight and argue which they were doing before the crash during the week before my birthday I got a road rash which will be a scar for ever a reminder of how my dad was able to look at me in the camper the shower doors were made of glass and if the temperature was lukewarm then you could see everything on the other side I turned 15 on the day of my road rash I got into the shower around 8:00 p.m. while washing my wound my father went in there and didn't say a word and just started brushing his teeth and looking towards the mirror which at the time was not looking my way I was okay with it at first cuz I thought it would just be for that day but the next 3 weeks it went to a transition of him looking at the mirror then to him leaving the bathroom door open lean on the wall towards the shower staring while playing toxic masculinity podcast of how women and Young women should do what men tell them and I wasn't on social media a lot so I didn't know what "alpha" male ment but women would refer them as that or they would refer them selfs as that but then to every couple of days during those three weeks was like him pushing boundary after boundary to the point where I can't handle it cuz he tried to touch the doorknob to open the glass doors I told him that I wasn't comfortable two times along with my younger siblings telling him to get out because they saw him in there because the door was open which he told them that it was okay and that he was my dad and everybody deserve to be in there it was him during the third day of the first week of this happening I wanted to prove to myself that my father wasn't like his stepfather which was a S A @bus€r of mine when I was 4 through 6 and because I thought it was because of my schedule of me getting in the shower late so I changed my schedule throughout the last 2 weeks while he was pushing boundaries I would change the times where it would inconvenience my mother during her naps or whatever she needed to do to get better cuz she had appointments or she would be like dead asleep and she would need me to watch my siblings but I was busy in the shower and they were messing with her while she had a headache and my father was complaining about the hot water for dishes and other women chores I need or my mother needed to complete but the part that makes it the most messed up is that when it was 20 minutes of me being still in the shower he would walk out and I would hurry up and get out and he would go back to his game console or smoke a cigarette and not good to bed or a couple of hours on the last day of the third week my mom asked me about it cuz she was finally starting to be aware of everything and I told her to wait and I would get in the shower as soon as I got home and he will be in there and she didn't believe me but once I got home and got in there he was in there with the door open my mom grabbed him by his shoulder and ripped him out and yelled at him and told him if he ever did that again that she would go get her shotgun cuz now she's more aware than she has ever been after the crash and he said that I was taking a shower late and then maybe I should be taking showers so late and then maybe I should be using all the hot water and that I'm his daughter he changed my diapers so if he wants to be in there he can be in there if you want the door open for some air he can have it open cuz he also pays the bills and owns everything and that I should be grateful which made my mom come up with a plan to start secretly moving after that day I called my aunt and my uncle who did not believe me and thought there was a better explanation but they did see my point of view but still thought I was being dramatic they question my father and he lied and said it was for 3 days more arguments started and one day when I had a school day off my dad as soon as he found out stayed home while my mom had to be at a appointment and thought he already left but instead he went to chill and came back to have a conversation with me and told me that I was delusional and that if I was uncomfortable I should have told him and when I told him I did and that he didn't say a word he said that he must have not heard me and once I told him that I said it loud and clear and that all you did was sigh and looked like he was about to cry and was mad he said that I'm just like my mother and that we deserve each other and then went on to if he had to have boundaries with me then I have to have boundaries with my mother and we can't get changed in front of each other because we are both bisexual and then proceeded to tell me that I don't know what's going on and then told me that I should be ashamed because I don't know how it feels to feel like a predator in your own home which left me speechless because I know what it's like to have predators around you every corner and he knows this and when I told him that he told me to grow up and that my hormones should be kicking in and I should have already forgotten about his stepfather my mom came home and my dad said he wanted a divorce and felt like I would take his side which my mom says working on it and took me for a drive and I told her all about it and then a couple of days later I woke up to my mom crying and naked because my mom had sex with my dad and when he was done and he got her done he kicked her out of the room and when she was wondering why he said she was more convenient then to go get a stranger and do it in the back of a truck my mom told me to go back to bed and I did at the time not fully knowing what was going on till that day that my mom going back on her word thinking she needed him telling me not to break up the family and that if he agrees the counseling we're staying even if I said no and don't like it which he didn't of course and also I told her that I would kill her and him and that I have thought about it and was in their room multiple times with a weapon think about killing them both because of the things they do which made my mom understand that she needed to grow up and leave him now which is sad for me to say but we finished up packing we got a U-Haul and before we left my mom thought it would be fair to him if my siblings had a board game night with him which later I left cuz I couldn't handle that my siblings get a perfect dad well I always got a cursing child beating lying disciplining me for no reason father and couldn't handle that my mom didn't leave them for a military hasn't killed my father or believe me on many occasions or didn't do anything because of him and because of her always needing him he went to go find me a hour later and talked and walked with me said the same things as the other conversation and when I brought up multiple predators in my life and how he did nothing for example I had a high school boy threatened to r@p€ me in the third grade and him and his friends chase me around and has kissed me and touched me multiple times for 2 years and and he said that he couldn't because that high school boy was a friends son but told him to stop but this friend was a mistress of his which later to find out that it would have been 4 years of harassment if my mother didn't threaten to burn his house which again shows that my father is a liar and my mother even proved it to me by showing me pictures of text between the high school boy and the mother and her but at the end of the conversation a dark side of me popped out and just went to try to go grab the nearest gun to shoot him cuz my father has an eye nose twitch when he lies and he has to be active or loud when he's trying to be manipulative and at the end he thought we had a great dad and talk even though I was still crying and he was like a brick wall cuz he thought I was like my mom and I would give up my mom stopped me and told me that I shouldn't go to jail and that we are moving tomorrow she will make sure of it no more delays and no more of letting me down we move to Texas where we're originally from and while living with a relative my little siblings could talk to our father which slowly broke the relationship because he would always try to bring up me and how he wanted to talk to me which later you can't stand not talking to me that he stopped paying child support until I talk to him and in between breaking the relationship with my siblings slowly they started seeing the dad that I saw and while here with my relative my mom got some console and help cuz at the time my dad was paying for child support but there was enough to get me help which my family thinks I desperately need but when child support stopped her console stopped cuz she can't afford it then drama started happening with the relative we were with and we've been moving ever since but now my mom is on the road making a lot of money to make up for no child support until the child support office is get their affairs in order and we are living with relative to relative that will take us in and watches but my mom will be coming back soon to get a rent house so that we can finally settle down after a whole year of dealing with all this without him and I'll be 16 and I don't know how to feel cuz it marks the anniversary of a scar physical emotional and mental and still cuts deep

Week two of trying to move on...
I am writing this hoping to get it out of my chest and maybe feel a little less lonely.
I (27F) just had a really really heartbreaking and depressing breakup and this is the first time I've ever been this hurt. This is the worst feeling I've ever felt in my entire life, emotionally, mentally. Sobbing at the moment as of typing this and my tears just doesn't seem to stop. It just keeps on flowing and flowing since i woke up this morning it suprised me how much tears I have. My chest feels SO heavy I cannot breathe properly anymore and my head aches. I cannot pull myself to get up my bed, I absented to work and even to my postgrad school. I don't eat. I don't even feel hunger anymore. For someone who eats a lot, it surprised me that it is possible to not feel hunger and I don't desire food. All I feel is this heartache. This tightening and heaviness of my chest. This is unbearable. I loved this person so much too much. Even more than myself, I believe. I would do anything for him. I endured a lot for him. Because I love him so much. I would forgive him so fast because I love him so much. I am at my happiest state whenever I am with him. He is the first man I've ever loved. And when I love, I give my all, it's 110%! I keep on looking back and thinking that maybe if I loved him so much more, maybe if I did this, maybe if i did not say these things, maybe we will still be happy together. Maybe if i did not raise the issues, it would not lead to this. I am feeling alot of regret. Maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut. But I was hurting too much I had to say those things. I am extremely sad, heartbroken, and down. I need help. I need someone to talk to. I need someone to cry with. I dont know. It hurts so bad. And I feel so alone. I am a big introvert and I only have a very very few friends and they are far far away from me. I don't think I'll ever be okay. I am in constant pain. Some might say keep yourself busy, get a hobby, but I cannot even focus on my work and school anymore how much more than that. I am messing up a lot of my work and I have my exam in 2 weeks and I haven't studied sht. :(
I love reddit and this has helped me so much in a lot of things. So, if I may, I would like to humbly ask the community of reddit, those who have been through the same experience, or just anyone who has anything to say, if you would be so kind as to lend me a tiny bit of your time and maybe drop in the comments something, anything really, that maybe would help make me feel better and a little less lonely. Thank you very much.
Reason: I raised the issues (that I feel) regarding our relationship. The talk did not go well. He let go of me.
How long:
Years of admiring him: 2yrs
Together: 2yrs