I have to confess that I spend way too much time on this subreddit but it’s been very helpful to read all your posts and experiences.
I came to the US under a J-1 Visa and then I changed my status to an F-1 (my now husband was my sponsor for it).
We got married a week ago and I'm trying to get all my paperwork together to start my GC process, so far this is what I have:
• Financial: Joint bank account, we are both authorized users of each other's credit cards, he is my financial boarding and school sponsor for my visa and he sends me money every month for my expenses.
• Joint ownership of a car and shared insurance.
• Proof of living together: We lived together for a couple of months and we have DL matching, mail, a lease under his name on that address, and all my previous documentation for USCIS was under that address. We were doing long distance for 6 months but we have flights tickets and photos to prove that we were seeing each other. Now we have a new address and we have a matching DL all our documentation is under the same address and a joint lease + Amazon orders etc.
• Proof of Bona Fide relationship-marriage: + 50 pictures (not that many with family or friends) but we do have some trips together, wedding and honeymoon pictures, and different events like soccer games, dinners (and reservations for it). Couple of social media posts, call logs, facetime screenshots, and screenshots of our conversations since we started dating (one for each month). We also have itineraries for our trips, hotel bookings, gift receipts, expensive dinner recepicts, Spotify, Amazon, and Instacart shared accounts, BFF on Snapchat screenshots.
• 4 Affidavits from friends (I heard that USCIS doesn't like family affidavits).
It will that on top of the forms and the other type of paperwork that is mandatory.
What do y'all think is this enough or do I need to consider something else?

242753998

I have 2 situations. Feel free to respond to either or both if you’d like.

1: Recent friend (more a casual friend of circumstance) invited me to her wedding. She told me about her engagement and wedding plans as soon as i saw her after but made no mention of invitations so i just assumed whatever, we’re not that close and moved on with my day. A month or so later i get a text with an rsvp link. A part of me wondered if she invited me because hey another gift is still a gift but i figured whatever, might be fun. But I didn’t reply for a few weeks and when i texted back with a response, i found out i was blocked. The only reason i could think was i didn’t reply fast enough but that seems like a small thing to be that upset about. Her wedding’s not for another 4 months and i’d think most people would just assume you weren’t going. Perhaps i’m misunderstanding customs here but when/where i grew up, it was normal not to respond for a few weeks because people had to check schedules, see about arrangements, etc. but maybe it’s considered rude by today’s standards? I can’t think why else i’d be blocked. What gives? She seems like a very nice person otherwise.

2: A friend i’ve had for 15+ years and i try to get together once in a while. It’s often hard to schedule because she has an extremely busy schedule working multiple jobs and a gaggle of small children and numerous extended family members they’re committed to visiting weekly. I work a lot. So between those things, there’s a lot of back and forth working around. I reached out to her recently to let her know i would have some time coming up to find out i was blocked. I understand the working around times might be frustrating and it might have appeared i was blowing her off or being difficult. At the same time, i feel she of all people should understand. I work a couple different jobs with demanding and often irregular schedules. Since they’re on the lower income side, i need the hours because just existing is so dang expensive! She knows this and I feel like she should understand this as the sole breadwinner of her family herself. She works multiple jobs not because she absolutely has to (because her main job pays a generous salary and she’s very frugal having grown up in a large family on a farm) but because they come with perks which happen to benefit her finances a lot, especially considering her husband is unable to find a job in his field being undocumented and all. She just happens to have ‘good’ jobs (higher status, good pay/perks, time off and other flexibilities, etc.) and i don’t.

as a side note, i’m not asking because i want to repair these relationships necessarily. If they don’t want to be friends, fine by me. I’m just curious what their logic could be.

I will try to write it not too long, but I have too. As someone who is mentally ill, I was trying to find out what is wrong with me, changing medications...but I can see now that I'm not depressed, just sad. And telling it may help me, even if no one will read it. But even I can't tell everything, it's interesting story.
We were almost for 3 years in ldr (37F&M). I was never lucky in love, never could be with someone I loved, even they loved me too. Became a single mother (after 15 years he is crying how stupid he was). I got even married, I was pregnant and quite happy, I tried to make it work, but nothing in the marriage wasn't working. We didn't have anything in common, sex few times a year, then nothing. When I was 34, I was fine and satisfied. I had a great job, good money, looked great, 2 amazing children, accepted that I had to divorce and that I will stay alone because of my previous experinces.
Soon, I met a guy in a facebook group. We just started talking, he seemed to be much younger, so I was relaxed. But we had always a lot to talk about, soon spending whole nights talking. It took few months, until we had realized we felt in love. I was damaged from previous relationships, didn't trust anyone, didn't beleive in love. I was trying to run from it, but it wasn't possible. During the time, I'd found a lot about him, we was using profile of someone else, had very hard childhood (he is from poorer country than me), did bad things as young, had to leave the country to save his life. So much damaged. This caused a lot of hard fights between us of course, but we were able to get over it. And it was going better by the time when many things got clear, we were able to trust each other. Every free moment, we were talking. Often whole nights. We had the same plans for future, the same opinions, we could talk nonstop without being bored. And planned our future together even it was difficult. We met in person after two years and it was amazing. We were like happy married couple. He was so caring for me, so much in love. Even we had such strong desire for each other (and had the same intimate preferences, which was huge win for me), we spent a lot of time walking, drinking and talking for whole nights. And after few days, I had an incident, I broke few bones. I was in terrible pain, but still joking, but he was so scared and shaking, taking all care for me, carrying my handbag in hospital, taking care for everything. We were first time together and for few days when it happened. Many men would be annoyed by this, many wouldn't help so much. I saw that this man was really a treasure.
When I had to leave, it was heartbreaking for us both. I thought I would be able to visit him soon again. But it wasn't possible. He lives in a poor country, not able to go abroad. And I lost my job. I had enough money for long time, but not to travel abroad. I got more depressed, because even as a top qualified, I couldn't find a new job. I still had to live in my ex hb's apartment (I can't move outside the city because of children now). Started drinking too much. But we were going through this all together. Getting rid of alcohol addiction together.
Someone could ask, I had several plans how to do it future. Everything legally, considering my children. There's a solution for everything. I loved him so much and he proved me his incredible love to so many times. But recently, he started to be really desperate. So much missing me. Sometimes begging me to do crazy things like to take children and go to him. But I couldn't do it of course. He wanted me to come to him in certain time soon, but I didn't know if it would be possible. He offered to pay for me and there I may made a mistake, I refused, I wanted to have my own money. I told him it wouldn't be possible probably. I was trying to find a solution, but I couldn't promise anything.
We were still be so in loved and devoted to each other. I don't care about the circumstances and his past, because he had such good heart and loved me so much. He was the first one who told me "I love you" and I could tell him the same. He was such an amazing partner, worth all the effort. He was Orthodox, I'm baptised. But I planned to do it because he wanted to have a wedding in a church and I liked this church. We were even talking about it just few day before we spent night talking, drunk, he was finally able to talk about his pain from his previous life. And suddenly he told me he wanted be a muslim. He find the love of Allah. And how he is the most and like this. I didn't expect it, I was stunned, angry when he was talking that Allah was the most important for him. It was always me. We got in fight. Nothing extraordinary, but the next day I day a very difficult time. I told him sorry for my bad words. I had extremely difficult the whole week, one of most difficult in my life. And he didn't talk to me at all. I needed him, he was the closest person for me. After the week, I tried to talk to him. And it was a disaster. I got a lecture how I was disrespectful to his God (actually not to his God, but to him), he was so awful, arrogant and sniffy. Talked like an ISIS member. It got better in the next days. I saw still love to me in him. I was trying to get used to it, that he became a Muslim, but I didn't want it had any effect on our relationship and future family life. I didn't want to leave him. We had good days, bad days. But it couldn't work. He was still going to be such an arrogant awful person. I tried to be nice to him, but he was behaving like I was annoying him. He isn't the person I loved anymore. He was always loving, with good heart, devoted to me. It was enough for me. But this person doesn't exist anymore. I miss him so much, our love, his smile, his voice, talking with him. He was planning to ask me to marry him this summer. It would be the most beautiful time in my life, I had been dreaming about it, a man I love would ask me to marry him. I miss his face and smile. I saw him last time 3 weeks ago. I miss everything. Him, his and our love. Our time spent together even for long distance. Our future. I lost everything.
I know this person I loved doesn't exist anymore. He is still drinking, doing crazy stuff. But Allah is more worth than me. He showed that I was annoying to him. It's not the person I knew. It's someone totally else. I miss him so much. I know he doesn't exist anymore. But I'm still so sad and desperate for my love.

My co-worker (mid-60s male) drives a huge truck. I recently took the plunge and got a mini electric SUV. Ever since, he calls me "the fridge driver," which is kind of funny, I'll give him that.
Once, I forgot to charge at home and arrived at work with 22% battery. I noticed a 220v outlet very close to my parking spot, so I took the charger to see if it was connected and it worked! I didn't want to get in trouble, so I emailed the facilities team asking for permission. They pretty much said, "We don't care, don't email us anymore."
My parking spot was very close to the entrance, and my boomer friend, let's call him Jack, uses a cane and parks at the very end of the garage. I switched spots with him, and he's been very nice to me ever since (this comes back later).
I charge my car twice a week on average, so I've been getting free mobility for about 6 months. Another co-worker got an F-150 Lightning, and I was telling her over lunch that she could use my parking spot on the days I'm not there (I only go to the office twice a week). Our boomer friend was there too.
I went to show her where the outlet was, and Jack decided to tag along. The whole time he was like, "Hey, this used to be my parking spot." My friend was low on battery and my car was already full, so we switched right there. Jack was making jokes that she drives a more "manly" car than I do. He asked questions about how much money we were saving. I said about $80 a week, my co-worker said she used to spend about $100 a week, and that this will be a life-changer.
What followed is the weirdest man-child behavior I've seen:

1. He emailed pictures of both cars charging to my supervisor, asking if this was allowed. I was contacted and showed my supervisor the email from the facilities team.
2. He asked for his spot back. My manager checked with me if I was okay sharing the spot so Jack could charge his car. I told him he drives a Dodge Ram, it's not electric.
3. He proceeded to ask for a $5,000 a year gift card to a gas station so he could commute to work for free.
4. He filed a complaint with HR stating he's been discriminated against for being old and refusing to adopt "a woke liberal mentality."
5. He goes daily to take pictures of whichever car is charging in the spot.
6. He stopped talking to us altogether. Not even a "good morning."
7. He threatened to sue the company after HR rejected his claim.

1: webinar on loneliness: different causes and approaches to get past loneliness (not personalized; video format; 45 minutes)
2: a practice to immediately calm anxiety and other unpleasant emotional states (not personalized; video format; 5 minutes)
3: workbook to start getting past loneliness (not personalized; text format; 50 minutes)
4: estimate by a psychologist how much time you would need to get past loneliness following his method (personalized; text format; 5 minutes read)
5: online consultation with psychologist to start getting past loneliness (personalized; 30 minutes conversation)
6: practical checklist for making friends (personalized; text based; 5 minutes read time)

I [F32] love gift giving to others, but it isn't exactly my boyfriend's [M35] favorite because he seems to stress over the fact that he might get me the wrong thing, or that I may not like it. Mind you, I enjoy gift giving, but I could care less about receiving gifts (based on my childhood and growing up). But my partner insists on buying me gifts during the holidays (probably because of my childhood) He always does a great job, however he will spend weeks stressing over the fact that he has to go out to buy me the perfect things. So, I made a list of all of my favorite things, from simple to detailed answers. Shared them with him so now he knows what I like! Here is the list... I will tell you, not only did my boyfriend benefit from this list, but all of my best friends asked for this "manual" for the holidays, and I have asked them to reciprocate! So we all never miss on guessing if they are going to like the gift or not! Feel free to add/take off the list. But this will SAVE relationships if gift giving is stressful.

1. Favorite fast food restaurant?
2. Favorite ice cream flavor?
3. Favorite chocolate candy?
4. Favorite fruity candy?
5. Favorite kind of sushi?
6. Favorite Asian dish?
7. Favorite Italian dish?
8. Favorite food of all time?
9. Favorite way to cook a steak?
10. Favorite pasta dish?
11. Favorite cookie?
12. Favorite fast food French fries?
13. Favorite cereal?
14. Favorite breakfast food?
15. Favorite pizza toppings?
16. Favorite fruit?
17. Favorite vegetable?
18. Favorite salad?
19. Favorite dessert?
20. Favorite comfort food?
21. Favorite way to eat bacon?
22. Favorite pumpkin-flavored treat?
23. Favorite dish at Thanksgiving?
24. Favorite cake?
25. Favorite ice cream sundae toppings?
26. Favorite thing to cook?
27. Favorite soda?
28. Favorite cocktail?
29. Favorite shot?
30. Favorite alcoholic drink?
31. Favorite drink at Starbucks?
32. Favorite flavor coffee?
33. Favorite country you want to visit?
34. Favorite kind of vacation?
35. Favorite car?
36. Favorite way to travel?
37. Favorite beach?
38. Favorite vacation you’ve taken?
39. Favorite non fictional place you’d want to visit?
40. Favorite ride at a carnival?
41. Favorite thing to do at the beach?
42. Favorite theme park?
43. Favorite thing about traveling?
44. Favorite breed of dog?
45. Favorite season?
46. Favorite flower?
47. Favorite animal at the zoo?
48. Favorite reptile?
49. Favorite animal?
50. Favorite bird?
51. Favorite thing in the sky?
52. Favorite thing about a rainy day?
53. Favorite sea creature?
54. Favorite color rose?
55. Favorite small mammal?
56. Favorite big cat?
57. Favorite thing about spring?
58. Favorite wild animal you’d like as a pet?
59. Favorite department store?
60. Favorite place to shop?
61. Favorite store in the mall?
62. Favorite perfume/cologne?
63. Favorite scent?
64. Favorite hair color?
65. Favorite makeup you can't live without?
66. Favorite shoes?
67. Favorite occasion to dress up for?
68. Favorite hairstyle?
69. Favorite outfit you have?
70. Favorite soap scent?
71. Favorite article of clothing?
72. Favorite colors to wear?
73. Favorite place for a piercing?
74. Favorite piece of jewelry?
75. Favorite gems?
76. Favorite thing to wear to bed?
77. Favorite extracurricular activity?
78. Favorite day of the week?
79. Favorite holiday?
80. Favorite kind of house?
81. Favorite car color?
82. Favorite thing to do when you’re sick?
83. Favorite place to meet up with friends?
84. Favorite type of date?
85. Favorite way to cheer you up?
86. Favorite kind of gift to receive?
87. Favorite crafty thing to make?
88. Favorite way to relax?
89. Favorite places for services?

My code is 241715400

Hi everyone, I am a PhD student at Concordia University and I am currently recruiting parents of Canadian children that currently have or previously had cancer to participate in our Beyond Study. The Beyond Study aims to better understand the mental and physical well-being of Canadian youth with cancer, survivors of childhood cancer, and their parents, as well as the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on their well-being. Participating in the Beyond Study involves an online survey which takes about 20 minutes to complete. Once complete, you will then have the chance to win a $100 Amazon gift card!
If you are interested in participating, please complete our online survey on our LinkTree by clicking this link: https://linktr.ee/thebeyondstudy
This study has received ethical approval from Concordia University (certificate #30016775)
​
https://preview.redd.it/3kwoe2p29u0d1.png?width=3375&format=png&auto=webp&s=dd4e997e1ce1057f10e70250be3c15471b5dee84

I already know what the main advice here will be. "Just move on". I get it. That's ultimately the only choice, but it's getting exhausting dealing with modern dating standards. I'm completely monogamous and try to talk exclusivity when it feels right and is appropriate. Was talking to a woman who has similar interests, life goals, etc. We'd talk for hours late into the night as she tells me how much she loves my voice. Compliments me all the time. How much she loves my eyes, he she never wants to let me go when I hold her, etc. According to her, I'm her "exact type". She also told me she's strictly monogamous and doesn't like sharing who she's into, so I assumed the same respect would be returned. A few weeks in I ask her, to clarify, if we're exclusive, or if we could be. With how often we talked and saw one another, I was certain this would just give us peace of mind. After all, she already told me she felt jealous at the thought of me looking at another woman the same way and didn't want to "share me".
I was wrong. She was still seeing "several" guys, and I was a bit taken back and hurt, but hid that because we never exactly discussed it, so I asked her if we could be. Her attitude changed and she told me it "wouldn't be fair to all the other guys she's seeing" and told me she "couldn't be exclusive with me yet". I didn't get upset or flip out, but I told her I was surprised when she asked me what was wrong. I told her I was surprised because she told me she didn't want to share me with anyone else and that she was monogamous like I was. This didn't seem to click with her, so she got quiet and noticeably upset. She told me she "needed space" and it's been 3 days since she actually talked to me. I know maybe I shouldn't have, but yesterday I messaged her saying "I apologize if I came across as rude the other day. Feel free to get back to me when you feel comfortable." to which replied, "I told you I need space." I should just cut my losses at this point.
It's not like I was going for a woman with different relationship values or trying to chase the un-obtainable, but this is far from the first time something like this has happened. I'm not a bad looking guy, so I've definitely had options before, but if this were reversed and I told her I was still seeing multiple women and declined exclusivity, I'd be branded as a player and/or narcissist immediately. I see guys getting bashed online for this behavior on social media all the time. Is this really what modern dating has become?

Hi everyone, I am a PhD student at Concordia University and I am currently recruiting parents of Canadian children that currently have or previously had cancer to participate in our Beyond Study. The Beyond Study aims to better understand the mental and physical well-being of Canadian youth with cancer, survivors of childhood cancer, and their parents, as well as the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on their well-being. Participating in the Beyond Study involves an online survey which takes about 20 minutes to complete. Once complete, you will then have the chance to win a $100 Amazon gift card!
If you are interested in participating, please complete our online survey on our LinkTree by clicking this link: https://linktr.ee/thebeyondstudy
This study has received ethical approval from Concordia University (certificate #30016775)
​
https://preview.redd.it/49yrlyif8u0d1.png?width=3375&format=png&auto=webp&s=d5e497f6f63e20fecd335e50e3fba88458f28949

Heya! After a long and nice self-care Reddit break I decided to hop back on here during this boring early year period at work, I'd love to meet someone great to chat with!
I'm Jay, 27 years old from The Netherlands. I'm big into cooking, drumming, climbing, reading and hiking, and I'm very proud of the plants in my apartment. I'm also an avid collecter of frog-themed gifts since that's what people love giving me for some reason.
I enjoy talking to someone that is also active with hobbies and such fun things, it's nice to know that we both have a life away from our screens.
Alright, I've tried to keep this as brief as possible, I have a habit of turning these things into a wall of text. Feel free to message me!

Hello! I'm a Wordpress web developer trying to build up my portfolio and would love to take care of a couple of website requests :)
The base package is a landing page + up to 3 pages like About Us / Services / Contact / Testimonials / Products etc. Anything beyond that we can discuss.
I will be providing an SSL certificate and for the LEMP stack I will be using Linux Ubuntu + Nginx + MariaDB + PHP.
You can either provide your own domain and hosting or I can set those up for you from scratch if you prefer so.
Feel free to message me if you have any questions!
Here's some website samples/mockups.

Jesus was confused with Satan by some cultures and even worshipped as such – despite the fact that he was considered a "good" Satan and a "positive" Devil that sided with the weak and vulnerable and betrayed the "powerful ones" in order to dedicate himself and his life completely to the poor. (Such notion is not alien at all even to the texts – because Jesus is expressly called the Morning Star in 2 Peter 1:19 and in Revelation 2:28).
This is apparent in the fact that the Hebrews for example did not recognize Christ as the Messiah and they even called him "evil" and applied to him the title "Satan" (from the Hebrew: "śāṭān" meaning: "adversary, enemy"). The definition of "evil" here is relative – because since Jesus went against the teachings that the Hebrews held as sacred and he also went against the teachings that the Muslims for example also regarded as sacred (and he went against many other cultures as well for that matter; because the figure of Jesus was pagan and it actually belonged worldwide to all cultures of the world and he was claimed to have opposed all of them trying to reform them) – he was thus called "evil" in relative terms by some of these cultures; meaning an "enemy" or "adversary" of those doctrines. Originally not even the Christians considered Christ as a positive figure; because Christ professed a lot of ideals that were inconceivable and impossible to apply according to the mentality of the powerful castes that rule society – like the priesthood for example; because Jesus claimed many times that the wealthy ones must renounce everything they have, they must give their money to the poor and then and only then – will they be allowed to follow Christ.
But the Church completely ignored and bypassed this teaching of Christ because they knew that if they had started preaching this to their believers; they would lose all believers in one second since no one wants to give up their house, their wealth and their life to follow the Church. So even the Church had to rearrange and modify a lot of the teachings of Christ while straight up censoring and ignoring others; in order to create a religion out of it. The only difference is that the Christian Church decided that it was worth investing their time and money in turning Jesus into the symbol of their faith and into a figure that would appeal to the masses (basically deifying him and using his name and memory to attract people into the religion) – while the other two religions (Judaism and Islam) completely disregarded Jesus altogether and considered him a madman instead and even went as far as to call him "evil" and a "Devil" precisely because he had preached such revolutionary notions that were just impossible to accept for the rich and wealthy. (Another reason for this is also because Judaism had a different idea of the Messiah altogether and they followed a different Messiah – and this other idea of the Messiah along with the other Messiah – were also very different from the "Jesus Christ" concept altogether – but that’s besides the point).
The symbology of the spring refers to the blood of Christ which gives life and makes vegetation grow on the earth much like the water of a spring; but it also holds literal meaning because the pagan figures who correspond to "Jesus" were all claimed to have met their demise or to have had a life-changing experience happen near a spring or near a water-source more generally speaking. Such is the case for Hermaphroditus who was rendered female by his union with Salmacis near a spring; or also the castration of one of the gods called "Uranus" – because according to Cicero in his "De Natura Deorum" there were multiple Uranuses and one of them was the "younger" one – and he’s the same who was said to have been castrated near a spring by Phoenician mythology. (The fact that Hermaphroditus was joined to Salmacis thus becoming definitively feminine near the waters of a spring – refers to the confusion that happened in the myth due to the nature of the two characters taken into analysis; because Hermaphroditus and Salmacis were actually brother and sister in other iterations of the story and they were claimed to have been conjoined thus essentially making up a single being who was a "man-woman" united. But then after their birth they were separated and their bodies were not conjoined anymore; although the male – in this case Hermaphroditus – was claimed to have been castrated in further iterations of the story so it looked as though he had returned to being a female and was thus "rejoined" to his female nature which is why the Greek myth confused it and claimed that Hermaphroditus lost his manhood but he lost it by being rejoined to his twin-sister Salmacis. In reality he was castrated near the waters of that spring – the "conjoined" part referring instead to the myth of their birth, but the two accounts were later confused and amalgamated into a single story for the Hermaphroditus myth; thus confusing also the timeline on when exactly was it that the two siblings were conjoined – whether it was at the beginning of their lives or at the end of it as in the case of Hermaphroditus and Salmacis).
The god Attar of the planet Venus was worshipped as "Atarsamain" (Attar of heaven) by the Arabs and equated with Allat i.e. Athena (a fact that has left academics dumbfounded even to this day as for how is it possible that a male god was completely equated and identified with a female one. But the answer is found in the mythology and themes of the god himself – where he was considered of androgynous nature and was claimed to have underwent castration which made him be perceived as a female by some cultures). He was furthermore equated with the goddess Anat in the form of "Ninurta" – because the Mesopotamian warrior-god Ninurta being equivalent to Attar (and Atarsamain) himself – he was directly equated with the Canaanite goddess "Anat" and the name of Anat was also written as "NIN.URTA" in cuneiform. There is an epithet of Anat which calls the deity: "the strength of life" and this particular epithet is applied to Ninurta continuously throughout Sumerian mythology because he’s consistently called the "strength of Enlil" – the "one with superior strength" – the "son in whose strength the father rejoices" – the one with the "strength of a lion" and Ninurta was also in charge of ditches and canals being the one who created the canal-system in Sumer and who was claimed to have brought to everyone the waters of the Tigris and Euphrates rivers as a result. The epithet of Anat – in this case referring to the male Anat who was though still worshipped as female regardless because the god possessed androgynous qualities (and not coincidentally the term "Nin" which comprises the name "Nin-urta" is actually more often than not utilized for female goddesses in Sumerian culture; for example "Ninhursag", "Ninisina", "Ninlil" etc. as it usually means "lady" – but in this case the word assumes a neutral meaning and its connotation is given by the context; so since the god is male it’s translated as "lord" – but the androgynous aspect of this deity is still kept intact nonetheless by using "Nin" instead of "En" ("En" being more traditionally used in Sumerian to mean "lord") – and the title thus refers for the concept of "the strength of life" to the strength of life as a life-giver; because Ninurta being associated with water and with the fertilizing effects of water having been the one who brought canals and ditches to Sumer; the meaning of the term thus acquired such connotation.
This deity is also always associated with physical beauty; for example in the case of Dumuzi (the Mesopotamian god of vegetation) who was called "the one with the beautiful eyes" and even in the form of "Ishtaran" (a form of Dumuzi worshipped as the "heavenly serpent") – where there are several references to his "beautiful face". This notion of beauty is once again reinforced and repeated for all other versions of this pagan god as he was called by many different names throughout cultures – for example also in the form of "Joseph" the biblical son of Jacob; who was claimed to be so beautiful that while a slave in Egypt the women could not resist him – or even in the form of Japheth the third son of Noah (who corresponds still to the same character) – where the word "Japheth" is connected to the root meaning "to be beautiful".
Thus the ideals of "strength and beauty" refer to him. (The pagan imagery of this god depicts him joyous and free as he dances through the flower-fields and while bringing the springing of vegetation to the seasons – often times represented with ears of corn or garlands adorning his head; as in the case of his Slavic counterpart "Potrimpo" for example).
Christ furthermore corresponds also to the pagan god Dionysus as mentioned in other posts; and Dionysus had a particular epithet in Rome which later ended up becoming his main name (or one of his many names alongside the more renown "Bacchus") and this particular title was that of "Liber" i.e. "the free one", one who embodies "freedom".
In form of "Ishtaran" Dumuzi was worshipped as "Anu" as well – since they called Ishtaran with the epithet "AN.GAL" i.e. "great Anu"; thus meaning that Dumuzi was so beloved and his cult had risen to such prominence at some point – that some local traditions (smaller ones) worshiped him as God the Creator himself and substituted him in place of Anu or at the very least differentiated him from the main "Anu" by calling him "AN.GAL" – "the great Anu" or "greater Anu". This is why Hermaphroditus/Jesus corresponds also in Phoenician mythology to the one "Uranus" who was said to have been castrated near a fountain-spring – Uranus being the Greek equivalent of the Sumerian "Anu" and this is why he was addressed with the name "Uranus" and worshipped as one of the "Uranuses" (the younger Uranus, because the older Uranus is instead the father of Cronus/Saturn and he’s a much older Uranus).
Given how Dumuzi was worshipped as the male Ishtar and as Attar in Canaanite lands (from whom the name "Ishtar" came from because the name of the goddess "Ishtar" is actually in the masculine gender and the goddess inherited that name from the male god who was called "Attar", "Ashtar" and "Ishtar" himself); one has to take into account that the male god was worshipped as androgynous though – which is why he was later equated with the female goddess Inanna in Mesopotamia and became indistinguishable from her to the point that she also came to be called Ishtar herself. The rosette is the symbol of Venus and of this male god of Venus who corresponds to Christ himself.
But at the same time the rosette is also the symbol of the female Venus as well and of the goddess Inanna (the female form of Ishtar) so the rosette refers to both Ishtars; the male and female one referring to the planet Venus in general.
Now, seeing as to how the figure of the "son of god" was worshipped as "the creator" himself by some more local cultures who idolized him to such degree that they ended up seeing him as the superior god over others – this explains one of the symbologies present on the modern representation of the apparent "pagan god" of the Templars; where he’s depicted with the head of a goat and the five pointed star facing downward. The five pointed star being a symbol of the divine – it represents through the symbology present on the idol the fact that the god in question is not the one who resides in the sky (in which case the five pointed star would have to be pointing upwards instead); but they worshipped on the other hand a creator who was "the creator on earth" thus being "the one below" – so their god was represented by the pointed star facing downwards. (This is for the representations that depict the idol with the star facing down; otherwise in other cases the star is absent altogether).
Now, according to the Atbash ciphering interpretation done on the name "Baphomet" which becomes: "Sophia" – if the interpretation is indeed correct (that Baphomet=Sophia) it would make total sense given how the name of Christ himself was actually "Sophia" and the why that is was explained in this previous post: https://www.reddit.com/EsotericOccult/s/P3ZkDJvXdM – where essentially there was talk on the Christ’s physical appearance and the fact that he was born with androgynous traits. This for example made it so that the character in question also displayed overly-sized pectorals that were rather exposed when compared to the rest of his body and were also rounded and protruding; sometimes even resembling female breasts (and that’s where the symbology of the rooster sticking its chest out and of Christ "with breasts" came from: – the rooster in the act of sticking its chest out: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/81/a6/a5/81a6a5da3c527f3ce0fe1648a7650001.jpg – and the depiction of Christ "with breasts" on the Notre-Dame church: https://gcm.rmnet.be/clients/rmnet/content/medias/christus_750.jpg). This (physical) androgynous nature of the "son of god" was then explained through metaphors and in spiritual terms by Christianity and Gnosticism with the fact that when Sophia incarnated she incarnated as "Jesus Christ".
But – there was also a female-incarnated Sophia; which incarnated as a woman and the figure in question is sometimes identified with the "Thetokos" i.e. "mother of god" Mary – or alternatively substituted by Mary Magdalene the consort of Jesus (being called the "Bride of Christ"). The fact that the Templars were claimed to have worshipped the prophetic head of a female alongside their god refers to the cult of the pagan goddess who corresponded to the Magdalene – where; she was claimed in pagan mythology to have been decapitated or to have been "half-decapitated" (her throat cut significantly to the point of almost detaching her head from her neck) and the goddess in question possessed oracular as well as prophetic gifts. The notion of Magdalene who corresponds to this pagan goddess was addressed in this previous post: https://www.reddit.com/EsotericOccult/s/iHlaRrZnzL. (The head that the Templars held was of course symbolic and not the literal real head. But what was important is what that symbol represented to them – rather than to whom the skull belonged because it was a simple human skull taken from a cadaver).
So essentially the Templars were worshipping both Christ and Magdalene through pagan imagery (Christ being "Sophia" himself and Magdalene being the "female Sophia" who’s the counterpart of the Messiah); something which was not acceptable to the Church – and also because they were worshipping Christ in his real nature as opposed to the heavily filtered and altered version that Christianity gave of him – thus opposing the "official" canon established by the Church altogether.

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multiple content warnings, i’m sorry, this will be long, this isn’t even everything and it’s a damn book i am 19. i was 11 when i had to grow up. my parents decided to divorce after months of fighting, letting us know a week before my 12th birthday. you know, the classic divorce story. my dad moved out and my mom started dating people. it moved so fast. we moved to a different area, even though we had just moved into a new house a year earlier, leaving my childhood hometown behind. my mom was trying to pursue school so we were living on student aid and stamps. (i have 3 siblings, so there were 5 of us) i started middle school in that area and was doing pretty well off. then my mom got pretty serious with someone i’m going to call SOB, he doesn’t deserve a name. my mom and SOB were dating for two months before that thing proposed to my mom. we met him once before he was labeled our step dad. my mom sat us down and told us we’d be moving to idaho to be closer to her family. come to find out, the whole reason for going there was because SOB is an ex convict and he couldn’t leave idaho because that’s were his parole was.
we were told at the time that he was framed for kidnapping and he had a whole story crafted to back it up. being a kid and needing my mom, i didn’t ask or dig about it. so we moved to idaho. i started school there and immediately got death threats. i got called a hoe relentlessly for seemingly being pretty. eventually things calmed down and i had friends, but that place was tiny and once people have formed an opinion of you, there’s no changing it, so it was hard to get around.
SOB was awful to my younger brother. we’ll call this brother zayn. zayn has bad adhd and has always struggled with school. he’s one of the smartest people i know, but getting assignments in is not his forte. so as a result he’s never had the highest grades. SOB hated the fact that my brother wasn’t doing great and would literally stand there and scream at him to get his work done. there was one time that i was in my room and i started to hear my brother screaming so immediately i’m upstairs to help him, SOB was literally chasing my brother around our house with a damn bat screaming at him like a demon was coming out. i yelled at him to leave my brother alone and things just got darker after that. me and my brother were scum to him and he ran our house like the hunger games. my other little brother and my older sister were prized jewels, they got everything they wanted and more, and SOB would rub it in our faces. he even gave my dog away, i went days worrying about her and looking because i thought she had ran away, to find out that some other person had my dog now and i wouldn’t ever get her back.
fasting forward a little, SOB violated his parole by going on a trip that wasn’t fully approved and got put back in jail right before christmas. my mom completely threw herself into trying to get him out. me and my sister noticed that my mom hadn’t gotten a single thing to be santa for my brothers, so we scraped up the money we had to get gifts so my brothers wouldn’t lose their christmas spirit seeing that santa didn’t come when things were already so bad as it was. i love that i was able to do this for them, the smiles on their faces, i will never forget that christmas.
after a long time of having a very absent mother, she was able to get SOB out of jail. he came back even worse of a monster then when he left. he sexually assaulted my mom, committed all kinds of fraud, basically stole all of my papa’s retirement money, the list goes on. my mom decided she wanted a divorce and when he found out, he went crazy. he locked all of us out of our house and threw our things on the lawn. it rained, i lost so many things, a one of a kind paper mache venitian mask i had gotten on a trip with my dad to italy included.
it’s 2020 by now and we went on a trip to Texas, to meet the person my dad was dating. on the trip, I very much learned that she was not for my dad. but, all reasoning was in vain. my dad proposed, and we had literally just met her. so that was that my dad was engaged now and focused on trying to move them out to him and getting a new house. my mom decided at that time that she wanted to move too so we had a choice, move to my dads and go back to the area i grew up in, or go with my mom to another ranch town in idaho. i chose my dads. my brothers came with, but my sister stayed with my grandparents where we lived in idaho so she could graduate.
things were fine for a bit. my mom was dating a lot and even got engaged. then she told us about this other guy she had been seeing, who had given her a 500 mile ride home from somewhere. immediately suspicious, especially because she wouldn’t drop a name. come to find out other guy was SOB. SOB proposes to her again and she’s got two engagement rings from two different people. everyone was like, what the actual shit are you doing. my mom was in a very cooky state of mind, broke things off with the other guy, and stayed with SOB. there was a weekend in september that my cousin had something going on so my extended family and everything was all there and we decided there needed to be some kind of intervention. to keep things short, it didn’t go well. my mom ended up leaving and she told me and my sister that she didn’t want to be our mom anymore. found out through facebook a couple days later that my mom and SOB were married.
then came the everlasting fun of a custody battle. my step mom had gotten into my dads head saying he needed to take full custody. now i wasn’t the biggest fan of my mom at the time, but that didn’t mean i never wanted to see her. my parents hated each other. there were a few times in exchanges that the cops ended up being called.
for a while my dad had pretty bad anger issues. low blood sugar, overstimulation, bad smells, anything could set him off. i just so happened to have a very large target on my back so i got the brunt of everything. i wouldn’t let him yell at my brothers and this resulted in me getting the lashings, but i would do it all again if that meant protecting my brothers. he wasn’t angry all the time, there were a lot of good days, but it was definitely pretty tortuous for a while. a lot of the problem, which i knew would happen to begin with, was my step mom. she is one of the laziest people i’ve ever known, which is the complete opposite of my dad. my dad likes to do things, he’s always active. so he was frustrated because he would want to do things with his wife there, and she would almost always refuse, so she could have a quiet day in bed. my step mom had also convinced herself that i was stealing from her. she ransacked my room multiple times, to no avail. she took my car keys ‘until she could prove i was taking things from her’ and i only got them back because they were sick of giving me rides places. she actually ended up stealing some of my things trying to claim they were hers, so she hid them and i haven’t seen them since.
so yeah i got yelled at a lot, accused of being a thief, and my relationship with my mom was shit + the joys of high school. i have been doing musical theater my whole life. when i first got to my new high school i was so excited because, although i wasn’t able to audition for the productions companies that year, the teacher told me i was a shoe in for the next year. she ended up leaving and we got a new teacher, if you can even call her that. so it’s my junior year, the first year with her, and it wasn’t bad, i got some good parts and did really well. i ended up getting nominated for an award for one of my performances and it was at this time, i don’t know what happened, but she did not like me anymore. she told me that she accepted the nomination for me, but i found out not too long later that she never accepted it and i was in favor to win so the judges were very puzzled by it. she accepted my friends nominations and kinda rubbed it in my face that i never got anything back. like’ awe are you sad because you didn’t hear anything from the judges? well so and so over here did😈’
the summer after that year i cut my hair pretty short. i wouldn’t say i’m not ‘girly’ but i definitely have a more masculine ‘bro’ persona comparatively. so now it’s my senior year, it matters a lot more at this point to try for good parts because it’s my last run. to keep it simple, my teacher wouldn’t cast me because i was too masculine, not even as a guy ?? idk make it make sense. i got one part my entire senior year, and i know it’s not because i’m bad. but i wrote and produced my own show that ended up being 100x the quality of the shows she produced, so i did get redemption. long story short, it really sucks to watch the peers your just as good as continue to succeed, while you get kicked out of the room for being distracting when you haven’t said a word. the reason they didn’t like me ? i’m good at improv, i kid you not i was told i was too creative and it bothered them. i know my presence scared the teachers there because i’m not a classic conformist theater kid that does anything and everything the teacher says.
anyways, so after years of trying to rekindle a relationship with my mom, fighting with an ass teacher and getting yelled at almost daily, a lot of worth questioning, and a flurry of weed later, i graduated.
both of my brothers in this time attempted to end their lives and were in facilities for a bit. i decided at that time to move in with my mom to hopefully help our relationship. it did a lot. me and my mom are best friends now. but it hasn’t been because of nothing. SOB had become the most controlling narcissistic asshole and my mom was just acting having any feelings for him so he wouldn’t take everything away from her. he monitored everything my mom did. he hit my mom in an intimate moment, and almost beat zayn, but i covered him and ended up slicing my arm open on our fireplace, once again i would do this 100 times over to protect my brother. i decided i wanted to dig everything up on him that i could. what i found was mortifying. i won’t go into too much detail, but there were a lot of charges, multiple of them being SA of a child. i vowed at that moment that i would do anything it takes to get him back behind bars. he’s actively on the offender list and he works across the street from a preschool, not on my fukin watch ass hat.
i will never forget the true terror on my moms face that that man caused. it got to the point where my mom would get really scared if she started crying because she knew he’d freak out at her if he noticed. i came back to my locked room, that i have the only key to, with holes in my walls in weird places, and in my bathroom too. a couple days before, my brother found a camera in his room, so i knew what it was and that SOB was spying on me. i taped them all up and came to stay at my bfs house and have been here since. after months of his treacherous cycle my mom had enough and left to a safe house, she’s there now. the divorce is going though but from some reason the stupid system denied my mom a protective order against him. he has full access to our house and things right now, and he’s trying to make 90,000 so he can baile his way out of the insurance fraud case against him that could get him back in jail in june. i’m so worried he’s selling my things because he so would. everything i have left is in that house and it’s all at his whim now.
when i moved in with my mom, i started a job at a fancy high end restaurant because i knew it would be good money. i’ve had problems with this my entire life, but ever since starting my job there, i have experienced countless creeps who have sexualized me in more ways then i thought possible. it’s made me feel so worthless. it’s people i work with and people who come in. drunk guys from the bar are the worst, and they’re all filthy rich so they don’t care about a thing in the world. i need to quit but i don’t know where else to go
my dad has now decided as of like two weeks ago, that he will be moving to florida. i never anticipated him moving across the country and leaving the last place i could call home. he also started therapy a couple months ago and his anger issues are pretty much nonexistent at this point. so i got my dad back but now he’s leaving again. i always hoped that as i got older, my family would always be pretty close, close enough that i could seem them once a week if i wanted. it’s really killing me because i was so close to that, to getting my family back. my sister has been in france the last couple years and she’s coming back in a couple weeks. my dad will be moving almost immediately after. we finally got to a point where my mom is free, my dad is happy, we’re all healing, and now my family will be broken up more then ever before by distance. my parents don’t hate each other anymore, my sister is coming home, we would all be able to spend time together again, never more.
so i’m at this point now, where i’ve been fighting for my family, taking every hit with hope in my heart for something i was so close to having, for 7 years i’ve been hoping. and just like that, the light at the end of this very long, cold and dark tunnel fades, and i’m left once again, in the cold dark nothingness that is hoping for a better day, that will never come.
so i’m left questioning, is overcoming another mountain worth it if there’s a whole range of painful climbing ahead of me? i’m so tired, my whole body hurts every day, my mind and soul are toiled with the pain of my lifetime, everyone in my family is moving on with their own paths and it’s only a matter of time before i’m only hearing from them every once in a while. i don’t want to do life, the world is so messed up right now and i don’t see it getting better. there’s too much pain and i can’t handle it. nothing seems worth hoping let alone living for anymore. i bid you adieu and wish you all the best 💗