In the game Re Zero: Lost in Memories that's now shut down, their used to be a Melancholy if that starts from arc 3.
And unlike the other if routes Subaru has forbid himself of using RBD because of Rem's last words; "Please... live."
The author stated that this was supposed to be April Fools story too but because of unexpected schedule delay he's putting it in the game. Thus confirming that this is supposed official Melancholy IF story.
Since it is still in the progress of being translated, I tried my best at summarizing and translating it. There might be some errors here and there but hope you enjoy it.
How it diverges from the main story is that; After Rem gets killed by Betelgeuse in arc 3, Subaru doesn't go to Mathers' domain and doesn't get killed by Puck.
After wandering in the forest while carrying Rem's corpse in the forest for a while, Subaru gets found by Reinhardt.
And after burying her in the bed of flowers that was nearby, Subaru faints, and wakes up at Astrea Mansion. But as Subaru starts to relive the memory of Rem being killed, he embeds that painful memory inside his brain and vows for vengeance.
After hearing what happened while he was in sleep from Reinhardt (mainly about Emilia's faction being eliminated by the witch cult) Subaru spends rest of his time learning swordsmanship from him.
But as Reinhardt starts to spend more and more time teaching Subaru, he slowly realizes that Subaru is willing to throw away his own life if it meant revenge. And after that moment, Reinhardt announces that if Subaru doesn't change that aspect of self-destruction in his behavior, he will teach him no longer. After hearimg that, Subaru explodes in anger and leaves after thanking Reinhardt for teaching him how to wield a sword. After leaving the Astrea mansion Subaru wanders around and stumbles into unknown territory, after a while he realizes that Crusch Faction had been erased from history due to the battle against the White Whale.
And there he meets up with Patrasche that somehow survived and she- Patrasche -voluntarily follows Subaru.
And so, they go on a journy to get revenge on the witch cult.
Later on, Subaru joins the gangworld (not an organization, just a term such as criminal underworld) to gain information about the Witch Cult. There, he meets Elsa Granhiert again and starts a friendly relationship with her like in the Pride Route but in more equal grounds. As he starts to help out Elsa's missions, she starts teaching him about her fighting style.
20 years have gone by yet Subaru still has no clue where the Witch Cult and Betelgeuse is.
Now due to the pain he has experienced so far, Subaru's personality has completely changed. He cannot empathize nor sympathize with others. He is cruel to both himself and others. And also due to trauma of not being able to do anything while Rem was being killed, his personality is now very self-deprecating. His face now resembles Hector, his outfit is similar to that of Al. He now wields a prosthetic arm made out of Rem's flail because he lost his left arm.
After returning to Lugnica, Subaru stumbles across the Loot House, and he meets old man Rom again there.
Subaru requests for information about Witch Cult but leaves without much success since Rom doesn't have any information that's useful right now.
While wandering around the ruins of Mathers' Mansion Subaru stumbles across the Forbidden Library and finds out that Beatrice is still alive.
Subaru requests a contract with Beatrice in order to achieve revenge against Betelgeuse but she refuses and orders him to leave.
Again, without much success Subaru leaves. But he takes few goods inside the Mathers' Mansion to exchange it for money at Rom's loot house to buy new equipments. (It seems that Roswaal too, has died.)
After somehow recieving long-awaited information about Betelgeuse (I don't really remember how it happened) Subaru plans for an ambush. First, he assassinates nearby Cultists one by one using Shamak. And to make Betelgeuse's guard down, he fights without using his full strength. And takes a blow from an Unseen Hand without dodging it. As Betelgeuse approaches, Subaru takes out a blade that was stored inside his prosthetic arm and finishes the Archbishop off by piercing multiple vital organs. But Betelgeuse possesses the body of one of his Fingers and completely obliterates Subaru and leaves, thinking he was dead.
Subaru gets healed by Beatrice who followed him since he left the mansion using magic and learns about Betelgeuse being an Evil Spirit, his ability of Possessing those who have talent as an Elementalist, and about his Fingers.
Subaru requests help for defeating Betelgeuse once again and Beatrice finally accepts.
Later on Subaru awakens at the bed of hospital that Felix Argyle has been working as a doctor after losing memory about Crusch Karsten.
Felix jokes about Subaru getting injured too often.
Then, Subaru tells Felix that he knows about the identity of the person Felix has long forgotten (Crusch Karsten), and if he wishes to know, he will have to join forces with him.
Felix obviously becomes furious and aggressively asks Subaru who that person is. And adds that if Subaru doesn't tell him, he'll kill Subaru.
Subaru would've won if he was in his normal state but while injured and in such helpless state, there was nothing Subaru could do. So Subaru started to yell that; if Felix was to kill him now, he'll never know anything about that person.
After hearing that, Felix hesitantly gives up.
Now that Subaru's wounds have healed and his body and Gate stabilized, he obtains an information about one of the Ten Swords of Power- the Life Sword (命劍 Inochiken).
Life Sword, once channeled with the its wielder's mana, had the ability to completely devastate one's soul that was struck with its blade.
So Subaru recruits Elsa and others in order to obtain the Life Sword and goes on another journey. Elsa, who has seemingly lost Meili to the Witch Cult, accepts Subaru's offer.
Finally Subaru and his allies arrive at the now-ruined-mansion of Margrave Rivack(Ri-ba-ku). He and his allies defeats all Witchbeast infestation snd Subaru obtains the Life Sword. And also gains the Margrave's belongings after killing the soul of Rivack that has become an Evil Spirit.
After returing to Lugnica once again, Subaru obtains an information from old man Rom that Archbishop Betelgeuse's homebase is near the Arlam village of Mathers' domain.
To fight Betelgeuse, Subaru first requests Beatrice to trap him and Betelgeuse alone using barrier magic. Thereby msking Betelgeuse unable to possess his Fingers.
This time too, Subaru doesn't fight in full strength but constantly uses Shamak to not reveal Beatrice's location to prevent him from going out of the barrier.
He gets caught by an Unseen hand and gets his right arm ripped off.
Betelgeuse, thinking that the victory was on his side, starts to ramble about being Slothful and insults Subaru for his "Misdeeds".
And as he gets closer and closer, Subaru uses Metia he obtained from Rivack's mansion and blinds Betelgeuse.
As Betelgeuse trip and squirm because of being blind Subaru reveals that if he fought in full strength he would've dodged every attack and Unseen Hand of Betelgeuse, but just to make the Archbishop's guard down, he didn't.
Subaru insults Betelgeuse for not changing the slightest and calls him "Slothful" for it one last time and plunges the Life Sword in him.
But as it turns out; A prosthetic arm is unable to provide mana for Life Sword to activate.
And Subaru, just like in the light novel/anime, gets possessed by Betelgeuse.
But Betelgeuse's mind also couldn't handle Subaru's mind who has lived his entire 20 years just to kill him.
In the end, Subaru's mind completely overpowers Betelgeuse's and Subaru asks Beatrice to stab him using the Life Sword.
As he dies alongside Betelgeuse, Subaru apologizes to Beatrice for not being able to live with her.
And in his last breath, Subaru dreams of his life where he could live with everyone happily ever after.
And then, he returns back to the save point in front of Kadomon's shop in arc 3 (when he was shopping with Rem).
Subaru realizes that he experienced Return by Death and finally realizes that everything he did was in vain. He collapses and rambles about everything he experienced to Rem. After being pampered by Rem, Subaru tells her about him being weak. And tells her that he never wants to experience such pain ever again. And unlike the light novel/anime, Subaru requests her to lend him strength and declares that *he will start over from zero*
And story diverges into the main story. Showing HOPE.
The End.
I really love this story and I am hoping for a proper translation of the story. Hope you enjoyed it too!
(Also, I completely forgot about Mimi Pearlbaton. Anastasia's faction too, gets eliminated by the Sin Archbishop in this story but Mimi achieves revenge against the Archbishop that deleted her faction.)

Prev/On the Design of Human Ships/
"Just wait, how lon…" Zantol started to say as a firm click was heard as Pir-4 pressed the button. In the following moment the entire ship shuddered as all power was lost. Moments later a deep drone could be felt.
"That shouldn't have taken so long to start," Dave remarked as all the screens and consoles lit back up, as the drone to fade away. Looking around dozens of new indicator lights and alarms were screaming across the cockpit, "Well that might be it, uhh…" Dave looked to Zanthol who was shocked at what just happened, and Pir-4 now floating stilly above the radio consul, "Zanthol please tell me that this is normal and that Pir is alright"
Zanthol taking moments to understand what happened, what all the new lights are for, and moments wonder what just happened.
“Wha…, what was that."
"Well, uh, that, was the distress call," Pausing for a moment to point at Pir-4 and to mute the alarms, "will he be ok?"
"Probably, but it is impossible to know without looking in his head"
"Why aren't you concerned? I mean, he could have just died."
"Why would I, it's just a machine, and all the data can be recovered."
Taking a deep breath, Dave considered the words that he just heard, "Zanthol? How do you classify a being as sentient?"
"We have a system, how do you classify things as sentient? If I know what you would use, then it would be easier for me to explain."
"I don't necessarily see why this is important, but the way that we had done this is though test, like the Turing test, have a judge have a conversation with a known sentient being and the one being tested. Another is to test the being's creativity, or even just comparing how close to the human brain the being's brain is."
"Those are all good way to determine if a being is sentient, but the reason that Pir was created was to get one step closer to win a galactic history changing prize, and I shouldn't tell you this, but humanity will find out regardless. This prize is from an automated system from nearly a million years ago, it was to autonomously scout and lightly terraform planets for life as it knows, and through, probably a problem with the replication program, it became sapient and though many more years it came to where it is now. Just barely sentient, enough for it to want to be a part of the community, and so the machine tried, until it came to the conclusion that it wasn't sentient enough to fit in," Sighing Zanthol took a deep breath and pointed to Pir-4, "It stopped sharing the planets it has visited, demanding that we make it fully sentient, to the point of the average sentient being, like you and me. To do so it made a prize, bring it a artificial being of synthetic mind that it deems as sentient. it has been almost 43,323 years by your calendar since the start of the competition."
"So you don't consider Pir a sentient being because a machine doesn't. That doesn't make sense, just because it doesn't shouldn't mean that you don't. Humanity has had less time free to think of what makes you, you. Because I think and therefore I am, should suffice for treating other being as sentient…"
Dave was cut off by the radio cracking back to life, "YOU, we do░▓░k▒w what yo░▒id bu░ we will have your he▒▓!" Just as abruptly it started it cut back out.
"They sound mad, as much as I would like to continue to argue, there are more concerning matters at the moment," Dave said as he took hold of the control sticks, with a lurch the ship once again started to move, "Since I don't like the silence I'll explain some things to you, this left stick moves the ship in x,y,z movement, or front, back, up, down, left, and right. The right stick adjusts the rotation," Dave gives both of the sticks a wiggle, causing the whole ship to shudder.
Zanthol, pulled Pir-4's helmet off, he started to check what happened to Pir-4. Looking to Dave again he sees him reach out slips on large gloves over his atmo-suit's gloves, once these are properly around his already gloved hands they constrict around them to now sit tightly around his hands. Then with a simple his the compartment filled with a thin fog, curiously Zanthol asked, "Is something wrong, and what's with the fog?"
"Take a look out the view screen, were getting close to your ship, but its getting hard to tell the distance without looking at the readout. So to get around that this ship uses a suite of holograms that are constructed by little low power lasers, and theses holograms use the cameras and computers to make a three dimensional representation of the environment."
"So why the haze?"
"It's so the lasers can be seen." as Dave talked, holograms of Zanthol's ship the Prospector's Pick, Helum station, and the various pirate vessels, leaving all that can't be seen by the cameras are blank. Reaching out with his gloved hands Dave grabbed the holograms of the Prospector's Pick and Zanthol's ship, strangely his hands didn't just pass through the holograms. Already anticipating the coming question Dave said, "The gloves that I just put on have a pneumatic force feed back system, strong enough to resist my movements, but not so much it can hurt me. If I move my hand though any of them it will respond as if it were an object floating in space that I just smacked. The system will interpret how the I move the holograms and do its best to replicate it in real life," Dave said, as he pushed the Prospector's Pick closer to Zanthol's ship. Zanthol could feel the ship accelerate toward his ship, "So, this makes it more intuitive for a human to operate this ship."
"Ok, so what are you doing now, are you going to get us out of here?"
"Well you said that, one all of Pir's spare parts are on your ship and that you have very classified things on it. Wouldn't it be a good idea to get it all before running?"
*Beep*
Looking at the consul a gauge was flashing.
"What's that?"
"That would be a temperate gauge, and uh it says that the hull is heating up. That shouldn't be happening,"
Thinking back Zanthol remembered how the pirates breached the air-lock realized what was causing the heating, "Dave, I think it maybe the pirates, to cut open the station like that," he points at the air-lock, "to cut through it as quickly as they did, they would have to have a weapons grade laser. We probably have only a minute before it starts cutting through the hull if you can keep them from focusing on the same spot."
"Ok, that shouldn't be too hard to mitigate," with a simple twist of the wrist Dave put the ship into a gentle spin, "That should do for now. Where is a good spot for a tow cable to be put on your ship?"
"I can already feel the rising temperature rising, and it's only getting faster. If you can't do anything about it then we're probably dead."
The gauge, now entering the red, "I hear you, and I'll handle this," Dave replied turning his ship to face the pirates, "Do you know why Tungsten Carbide is such a good marital for machine tools?"
Starting to send the ship into the pirates, "It's because it harder then almost all other mettles, and do you know where the largest single piece of Tungsten Carbide is? Well, its on this ship, initially meant to skewer asteroids, but we'll see how good it is at skewering ships, and it better be, or else," sighing, Dave continued, "We're probably dead."
"That sounds insane, but probably the only thing that we can do, and even then, there are still three other in the fleet."
Suddenly, static filed the coms gradually coming clearer until a human voice could be heard, "Prospector's Pick, hold tight, help is on the way, this is the Barnard's star Battle group B3, ETA 3 minutes. just hold tight, help is on the way."
By this moment Dave's ship was careening toward the pirates, the temperature sky rocketing. The ship struggling to cool it self with the radiators turning a dull red with the heat their absorbing, struggling to dissipate the building heat.
With a, shearing, screeching, screaming, sound the spike tore into the pirate ship.
"Woooooooooooooowoh!! HELL YEAH! That will never get old no mater what the target is." Dave said with a brimming smile. "Now its getting hot in here, so I'll also show you how we cool our ships in emergencies." pressing a combination of buttons on the the consul, a hiss of cool air filled the cockpit. The hologram also showed the radiators unlatch and start floating away from the ship.
"Dave why are you jettisoning the radiators, they're needed to cool the ship."
"Yes, but that's part of the design that someone else made, and was much smarter then I am. Its going to be replaced with spares."
One of the rows of boxes moved to the place that the radiators once were, and proceeded to unfold and turn into new radiators, with this the temperature gauge visibly and quickly dropped back down to it's regular position, and the new radiators already starting to show their thermal saturation. Then the screens flashed a notification…
Incoming warp detected.
~
This started to become more disconnected and scattered toward the end, but I was just having a hard time finding a way to connect it all. I also wanted to make each chapter a bit longer, so that's why this took so long, and in all fairness I don't think I'll be writing them to be so long its just not what I'm good with.
It has almost been half a year since I randomly thought of the idea for this at a new years party, anyways here's a fun fact, I am horrible at coming up with names, so to mitigate this I have turned to use the Periotic table and names of chemicals (and/or overly common names). The most obvious of them are Dave's last name Coper most clearly a slight mis spelling of Copper, Helum Station is just a variation of Helium, (spoiler regarding Pir-4)and Pir is a mis spelled abbreviation of Periotic and 4 corresponds to Beryllium the main component in his computers and meant to reference how hard for the researchers to make a body compatible with a inorganic brain, and to my knowledge Beryllium is wildly deadly and destructive to carbon based organic chemistry.

Here's a story how I became a walking Inanna embodied entity here on Earth.
So let's start... I grew up in the suburbs of Colorado in a dark house with an abusive family. My father was quite dark and my mom was not here mentally due to autism. The sick energy of my father's abuse and the land caused a haunted house with sentient poltergeists. I was the black sheep of most things and my main friends were the men in the walls, so I grew up with the dead instead of the living.
I started hearing voices young, but they'd come with some advice and helped guide me through the world, so I've always trusted that they had my better interest then most of the people I was around. I've been a rather reclused person, but I've always tried to remain a kind person, even when I have my darker sides from the trauma of childhood and adulthood. I've kept a relationship with spirit my whole life.
I grew up to be a talented artist in garment creation. I got known for designing fairytale themed ballroom gowns and was dubbed a fairy godmother by the models I worked with, but my trauma got the best of me and I wound up with a narcissistic man. I fell into a space where I assumed I had done something to deserve the abuse he dished out. Then, in August 2020, he had a full psychotic episode. It was like a demonic possession and the worst month of my life. He also referred to me as a Goddess and himself as the God Dumuzi. I developed ulcers from the amount of stress and had near death experience where the Goddess Inanna appeared out of the waters of the dead river and requested me to go back to Earth.
Her voice continued guiding me. She pointed out where my mind was and helped rework it to realize the situation I was in and finally flee after my ex gave me a mild stroke and seizures. I fled to my sister who ironically was in a "contemporary shamanism" cult, mainly based on death magic. They worship some entity called "Crazy Woman".
At first, their version of shamanism was helpful. I had some knowledge and have studied into Shintoism, Hinduism and Pagan religions. The group seemed kind and wanting to help, but I studied narcissism and the effects on people, and I quickly started to pick up on the red flags by the Godhead in charge of the group. When I brought it up, I would be met with an intense amount of hostility and violence along with a whole trained technique of narcissism on a spiritual level. It felt like I was energetically being eaten alive and I couldn't stay awake. I lost my ability to create or basically function, again, thinking it's me.
But this whole time, I had Inanna telling me other things like, "You're to meet a great storyteller and solve the riddles of the world." I didn't believe it. My personal life was so dark ,and my brain was so damaged, I no longer could function on a cognitive level. Then, another friend and I, who also hears guiding voices, followed their advice to do a ritual to escape what Inanna called "A mind maze". We ironically drew the eye of Ra with our car as we ventured across the Cascade mountains and over a giant river. We did what's called a soul retrieval from hell and Inanna took over my body. It worked and our minds started to settle after about 3 days.
Then reality shifted my sister in a rage violently attacking and humping me screaming, "I'm the crazy woman!" I ran outside to fall in front of some stranger I didn't know, but had seen him around before. I unloaded everything crazy about my life and this stranger simply asked "Have you heard of the Djinn?" When I said no, he went on to explain ancient knowledge, saying that he studied the quorum tablets, language and indigenous studies from a ancient tribe in Persia (or now Iran). He's like a wizard or something. We went on to talk about the Annunaki and Sumeria, where Inanna comes from, and I recognized him immediately as the great storyteller. He came with a slew of unusual spiritual gifts. We now hang out, constantly picking at each other's cultures and learning so much about the world. Ironically, he read my parents book as a child and idolized the life of the child who's parents are Paleontologists.
Slowly, Inanna and I have learned to switch places and she uses my body to heal victims of narcissistic abuse, mainly 20 year olds (Generation Z). It's taken a whole group of young brilliant minds, a stream strange coincidences that can't explained, and people who seem brought to you by the universe or sky itself to center you down and realize your actually not insane or seeing things. I somehow just learned how to do this by sheer will to fight against the abuse that was being done to me to enchant something real because the people in the rich, contemporary shamanism keep it in secret. They are stealing indigenous knowledge of healing and are using it to hurt people and force them into their belief system. Somehow, I did this, and its honestly unbelievable. Most of them and my life seems almost unreal (or insane) to most people, but somehow, some way.... The entity known as Inanna is coming down and lending a helping hand to those in need. My friends all say I'm the real thing, looking into my eyes and calling me a gift to the world when what I used to hearing was how I was the devil and waspushed into such darkness. Now I have light and dark humbly embodied into a fairytale couture designer by a hell goddess who brought me back from the dead.
So here I am on the will of dragon (dinosaur) spirits, guided by crazy goddess grabbing random young adults to give them some hope and guidance in the poverty class as I live in my run down little apartment creating fairy tale gowns and working nights at the grocery story, fairy godmothering doesnt pay much these. This is wild 😜

I’m in an abusive relationship and I’m honestly scared for my life . My boyfriend and I started dating 5 years ago. It started off fine and then one day he found my old cell phone. He said he was looking for some pictures of us but saw screenshots of messages of my ex. Which made him go through my ex and I’s old messages. And saw that 6 years ago before we were officially a thing but were seeing each other that I was still seeing my ex. I was just getting to know him at the time. Regardless he took offense and accused me of cheating. He took my new phone from me said he was going to text my ex and tell him that he “could have me.”
I hadn’t spoken to the guy in about a year at that point. I tussled with him to get my phone back. He’s over a hundred lbs bigger than me . I ended up hitting his eye and he gave it back and he called the cops. He told them I didn’t live there and I was trespassing. The cops asked me to leave I decided to peacefully and as I was leaving. He then decided he was sorry and had this whole apology. I stayed because it was the dead of winter in Minnesota and I had nowhere to go really. My parents stopped talking to me over him. He isolated me from my friends. He was all I felt I had.
That was a while ago. He promised never to do anything like that again and I chose to believe him. It was going good again. I reconnected with friends and family And then he started doing little things that I looked over like not allowing me to go on vacation with my friends unless he could come too. Most of my friends are in relationships as well so they just asked their partners to come and it all worked out. Today , he did it . He put his hands on me. And it got bad.
Why? I fell asleep and didn’t want to get up to take a shower. I was already in bed. I was exhausted. He woke me up saying i needed a shower. I told him I’d shower in the morning. He said i had to shower right now. I said no. He picked me up and brought me to the bathroom and started ripping off my clothes. He falls asleep without showering all the time. But when it comes to me. I must shower before bed. It’s not the first time he did it. He did it once before and showered me himself. I felt dehumanized when he did it. I couldn’t stop him he can completely over power me.
Today I didn’t want that to happen so I fought his resistance and asked to be let go. He said if I don’t shower I have to sleep on the ground. I kept resisting. And he kept applying force. I thought I was going to die. Me resisting made him angry and he just started hitting me. My face is still pounding from the blows he said that he had to hit me because I wouldn’t stop resisting. My face is swollen And I cried saying there was never a need to do that in the first place. He said if I stopped “being dirty” then it wouldn’t have to get to this point. He then washed me up, dried me…He then had sex with me. It lasted about a hour. Once he finished up, he washed me up again and kissed me and told me to go to bed. If you’re wondering what happened while he showered me and then had sex with me. Idk I sort of froze. I remember him on top of me telling me he was going to put it in my butt. I hate anal. He did it and I was frozen there. I’m now realizing he raped me
I have no idea how I got here. I feel like I can’t leave . He’s holding so much over my head. I lost my job because of him. I have nothing . And I’m so scared. I’m scared to fall asleep. I feel like i can’t control my body. He just did all this and tomorrow he’s gonna ask me for breakfast, I’m gonna do it. He’s going to be all sweet and I’m gonna have my guard down and I’m going to brush away this situation . I always wondered how people get this kind of situation… I feel so useless. I don’t know what I’m holding on to . He’s convinced me that there’s nothing out there for me. Like I can see the wrong but, I feel like I can’t get up and leave. I tell myself I will but I’ve been here 5 years. Im hoping I make out without a pregnancy.

”Stop.”
I was doodling cats when our teacher announced we wouldn't be leaving the classroom.
We were trapped, or as he put it, safely tucked inside a single second.
2:52pm.
Mr Brighton locked us in, blocking us from looking out of the classroom door.
Everything was frozen, except the twelve of us.
The man explained there was no need for food or drink.
Our bodies were locked in stasis.
Frozen.
Not dead, and not alive.
Roman Hemlock threw a chair at him.
“Behave.”
The boy slumped into his seat, falling into a trance-like state I was terrified of.
Our teacher seemed to be able to manipulate things.
Time.
Minds.
And slowly… us.
In the single second we were trapped, I felt days go by. Then weeks. Months.
I never grew hungry or tired, and my bodily functions were none existent.
The only thing that was changing, was our slowly unravelling metal state.
I wasn't sure what day, time, month, year it was. What I did know was that we were playing a game of Monopoly that had been going on for a week.
I was aware of my foggy thoughts that could barely coerce a sentence, and the smile on my lips. Next to me, Roman Hemlock was winning, after buying half of the properties on the board.
His smile was, dare I think, genuine.
Happy.
Looking around at my classmates, I had a sudden, terrifying thought.
Was I enjoying this? Was this Stockholm syndrome?
In the corner of my eye, however, someone was still awake. Ren Matthias, who had been slowly inching towards our teacher, a box cutter in his hand.
I didn't see the exact moment he stabbed the blade into the man's neck, but I did feel time around me start to falter and tremble, the clock on the wall creeping towards 2:53pm.
Roman’s half lidded eyes snapped to me, fully awake.
Something wet pooled across the floor, sticky and red.
Blood.
Blood, that was running.
2:53.
We were free.
The piece of paper glued to the door slipped away.
But Roman’s gaze was still on the doorway, his face paling.
His lips parted into a silent cry.
Following his eyes, I found a shadow.
What our teacher was hiding from us.
A shadow, who was frozen at 2:52pm.
A shadow, with a gun.
I saw Roman's lips move.
"Fuck." He whispered.
"Get DOWN!"
I dropped onto my knees, crawling under a desk, the classroom exploding around me.
2:54.
Blood splattered the walls, and I was crawling in it, stained in my friends.
2:55.
I grabbed Mr Brighton's hand, squeezing for dear life.
Roman joined me, his trembling fingers feeling for a pulse.
A gunshot rang in my ears, rattling my skull.
When Roman went limp next to me, I wrapped my arms around my teacher.
“Mr Brighton, say Stop.”
He was so cold…
“Mr Brighton! Take us back!”
Footsteps coming towards me.
2:56.

My Life's Journey: Overcoming Challenges

Introduction

My whole life, I've been rejected. People don't see my potential. I've wasted a lot of time in my life. Currently, I have only 40 euros in my bank account. This is one of my darkest moments. Please don't pity me. It's not the fault of others; it's my fault. I make poor decisions every day, and now I am facing the consequences. Sitting in the dark, isolated, without money, I don't enjoy life. But what I have are books and education. Last week, I had only 10 euros in my account. I felt stressed all over my body; I was spending the last 10 euros in the supermarket on basic needs. Not having enough money is horrible, but it is not the end.

Books and Education

Some books about money and teaching yourself to disconnect from everything have helped me enormously. I've learned that stress is an illusion of fear and uncertainty. I've taught myself to be unattached from many things. Consider this: if you love your mother too much, the blow of her death will be too much, making you never function again. So, love your mother, father, etc., but not too much. Do fun things with them, but remember, the circle of life means it comes and goes. Similarly, with money—when I had only 10 euros, I was stressed. I have no job now and am isolated. I've learned that money is an illusion and that you make your own choices to the point where you've ended up. Unfortunately, not everyone gets the same chances in the world.

Life's Unfairness and Moving Forward

That's why I live with the idea that life is unfair, but you can make it a little better. Because every improvement, no matter where you come from, is what everyone wants. Some people are born in countries where opportunities are plentiful; others are not. But ultimately, we must not sit still; acceptance and progress will help you move forward.

My Resolution

I don't need pity; I am a victim of my own choices. The monster inside me has destroyed me as a hopeless, pitiful person. My posture is bad, my bank account is low, and yet, despite all the negatives, a few books and a goal have shown me the light. I am going to take you on a journey of someone who is down but understands that there are many people who are even lower and in war.

My Goal and Challenge

Although I currently don't have money for a gym or luxury courses, I have done some things smartly. I can only tell you, always think 360 degrees. Don't look for one teacher but two. My goal is to become a full-stack programmer and to be a fit human being with good posture—no nerd neck, forward shoulder or hunchback—and of course, healthy food, brain food, gut food, hydration, and muscles. I want to challenge myself and show the world that on this day, May 15th, 2024, this pitiful man who has made many wrong decisions will transform into a beacon of light and perseverance. I am going to show you that an outcast can achieve this. You only live once, and time comes only once. There is only one May 15th, 2024, 6 AM, and once the minute passes, we cannot go back.

Programming Path and Financial Discipline

Now that I am poor, I keep a detailed Excel sheet that monitors my finances and a visual dashboard of my financial life, which currently looks red and very bleak.

Detailed Plan:

1. **Starting Point:** I managed to get the GitHub Student Pack. Being poor has made me creative. I have found some courses through various means. My path focuses first on HTML, CSS, and Javascript.
2. **Initial Learning:** I recommend taking notes during lessons, either on pen and paper or a digital tablet. Writing helps you remember more than not doing so.

**The Path:**

1. Begin with Scrimba.com (From GitHub student, you get 1 month free; because I am poor, I must complete HTML, CSS, and JavaScript in that month, meaning full attention and free days as time is limited in this case).

2 Move on to Advanced CSS by Jonas Schedtmann on Udemy.
3 Then, I will start all over again with Angela Yu's Udemy bootcamp. She explains well and comes from a non-IT technical background, which provides a good perspective.
4.After Angela, I will go to Colt Steele to learn good concepts again and some different tips and tricks.

1. After Colt Steele, I will go to FrontEndMasters to learn all the professional tips and tricks from people who have actually worked in the industry. I will start with FrontEndMasters last because it is very technical and not really an educational experience. FrontEndMasters is ideal last to professionalize any trained knowledge and possibly unlearn incorrect methods. You get 6 months free with the GitHub Student Pack.

6.After FrontEndMasters, it's time to earn money as a freelancer.

1. When I have some money, I will access more expensive courses.
   
2. I plan to start with [Josh W Comeau's courses](https://www.joshwcomeau.com/courses/) to elevate my CSS skills to a higher level.
   
3. Then, I will improve my JavaScript skills with the [Ultimate Next.js course on JS Mastery](https://www.jsmastery.pro/ultimate-next-course#pricing). Learning from multiple perspectives is essential to truly understand and master a subject.
   

10.. Follow up with [Kevin Powell's courses](https://www.kevinpowell.co/courses/) to further enhance my CSS skills.

1. Utilize [Frontend Mentor Pro](https://www.frontendmentor.io/pro) for extensive practice through assignments and exercises.
   
2. My ongoing task will be to continue practicing, working on projects, and staying up-to-date with the industry.
   

This Path is not fixed, because there can be along the way changes, but in general I keep to stay on this Path. Ofcourse after this path is time for the Object Programming, Software developer Path. So then I will search to Computer Science. I'm not an academic, but I am a academic of poorness and of life:)

The Five Fundamental Needs:

1. **Physical Well-being** (Nutrition, Sleep, Hygiene & Nature)
2. **Social Connection** (Relationships, Neutrality, Acceptance, Openness, Collaboration, Freedom, Love, Solutions, Empathy & Communication)
3. **Physical Activity** (Exercise, Cardio, Strength Training, Yoga, Flexibility, Self-defense, Team Sports, Balance & Stability)
4. **Mental Enrichment** (Education, Philosophy, Religion, Purpose, Spirituality, Creativity & Problem-Solving Thinking)
5. **Emotional Well-being** (Happiness, Enjoyment, Letting Go, Grief, Meditation, Relaxation, Self-care, Emotional Intelligence & Self-acceptance)

Financial Discipline and Personal Development

Besides programming, I will practice financial discipline by maintaining an extensive Excel sheet to monitor my finances closely. This will help me manage my funds better and avoid previous mistakes. Additionally, I will work on being physically fit, developing strong muscles, and improving my posture and sleep 7–9 hours. If you want to achieve life and things better you need to master 5 basic of life

Conclusion

I believe this path, with its varied teachers and multiple perspectives, will provide a well-rounded education. Each instructor brings something unique, and at Frontend Masters, I'll have a team of instructors who help me view things from a comprehensive 360-degree perspective. This approach not only applies to programming but also to managing my finances and personal health. I will make these areas a priority, ensuring I not only become a skilled programmer but also lead a balanced and healthy life.Remember, you only have one life, one time, to decide what you want. I've worked customer support roles, I've been a cleaner, I've been a demolisher. Some people enjoy this work, others do not. This has shown me that I no longer want to do work that fits my identity, that I don't want to work 8 hours a day on something and have my life go out like a night candle. The power is that you can choose, you just need courage and steadfastness. Because there are millions of people who enjoy their jobs, as opposed to billions who are stuck in the drudgery of life. Ask yourself, do I want to keep doing things that don't suit me? Go for your goals, learn from misery, don't end up thinking you can't do it. Because when we are dead, we don't know if we come back, or if God gives us heaven or hell, or if it is completely dark. Think about that, that you will close your eyes and have lived your life through your own shortcomings because you sit defeated.

In Florida. I’ve read the post linked and also several websites comparing the two and I’m just second guessing myself now and want to be sure either way. I am leaning towards flying ants? Would love a more knowledgeable opinion.
Out of nowhere, a swarm appeared inside my house today. I did have a door open for a few minutes just past dusk so I assume happened then. They all gravitated to a bright light and have been hanging on a wall right next to the light and not flying around.
The reason I’m confused is in some of the angles, it looks like they have the pinched body segment and in others it seems like a longer tube like the termites. Previous owners of this house had a termite issue a long time ago too. The antennas look slightly bent but not like in the photos and drawings I have seen. The wings seem to overlap as one in some and in others more separation.
Appreciate the help!

Alright so after god graves war between clans soon after sunny and nephis will travel to the tomb.
But why ? : well the tomb still has many secrets and yet incredible artefacts, my main thought process is something to do with the 13 million challengers part of the nightmare. It never really got explained whether the challengers where from the future past, or the imprints on the tomb. Perhaps they go there to grab a lot of powerful awakened or merely powerful artefacts.
how do you know ? : in the recent chapters sunless’s shadow being in the citadel made me realise that. That’s exactly what Sunny’s “future self” was not the actual body of sunless but his shadow.
The way they both current chapters (1610-1621) and past chapters (1578-1579) described and portrayed matches the description of being one of sunless’s shadows in a citadel.
Ofcourse the shadow is sunless which is why he refers to himself as sunless yet as not dead nor alive as well as a saint. Which makes 3rd nm sunless skeptical because the shadows were ripped away from him so easily.
because the shadow is in a citadel, the estuary is a citadel or partly one. The guardian that kills nightmare creatures is the citadels guardian.
But then a popular theory comes into play, VTB wouldn’t sunless want to take his strings back. Two things sunless simply isn’t strong enough and he simply wants to inspect without risking his life.
Or I’m completely wrong and he was a sovereign wearing the mask.
Written by u/german6ft4 as of chapter 1621 may 15 2024 incase I’m right.

Hello OKOP empire. Thank you for taking time to read this. it will be long but on to my story.
So I'm going to give background of the beginning of my life. It was my determining factor of why I didn't want anything to do with her. Names I use are not their real names.
When I was conceived my Bio mom (we'll call her Sally (17F) ) already had a little girl my bio half sis (call her Chrissy (1F) ) Chrissy would go to our babysitters house ( call her Jenny (34F) ) while Sally went to school. When bio Grandma (Call her Karen, don't know how old she was at that time) found out Sally was Pregnant with me, She was furious, According to my Bio Aunt (Deny (14F) ) Karen almost killed us. Deny said she had to step in and stop Karen from hitting Sally even more after she threw her down the stairs. After her rage subsided she took Sally and Chrissy to an apartment and said you want to be sleuthing around your old enough to live on your own. Sally kept trying to go to school as she dropped off Chrissy at Jenny's, then would go to a job and try to make things work.
Time goes on and I am born, I then started going to Jenny's as well sometimes spending the night with Chrissy as well at times.
Now Jenny was Babysitting in the day, EMT at night and did foster care with her husband Lee (38M). his job was teaching Spanish. Super hero's in my eyes FR.
After that month Jenny said she had not seen me and Chrissy for about 2 weeks. She got a call from social services asking her to go to Sally's apartment to check on her and the children. Jenny wasted no time at all grabbed her bag as her son (Josh (10M) ) asked to go with she said sure.
Jenny went up too the apartment door and knocked, with no answer but as they stood outside she could hear kids crying inside but still no one came to answer the door. She went and got the manager of the apartment complex and asked him to open Sally's door. But she had to call the cops and paramedics to come out before he could open the door. they had to stay outside for about 20 Mins for the emergency services to show. They finally get the door open and see Sally on the couch unresponsive. Jenny went to the bedroom door as one of the police officers had to break it down due to it being locked. I was only around 2 months old and Chrissy at this point was almost two years old and didn't know how to open doors at that time. So Josh went in with Jenny, seeing Chrissy trying to feed me a bottle that was filled with curdled milk. Josh looked at Jenny and said mom she looks dead referencing me. They rushed us to the hospital and found that Sally was alcohol poisoned and I was very dehydrated, underweight, eyes sunken into my sockets. Doctor told Jenny if i were not able to gain weight in 3 days i would be in ICU for failure to thrive ( basically all organs start to shut down and would basically be dying). Chrissy and I were put into Jenny's foster home that night. Jenny took us home and feed me close to 8-8oz bottles. she said it was the most amazing thing as i ate my skin turned back to a pinkish color my eyes came out and my body started filling out, never throwing up a drop.
Time goes on and we were put into the fosteadopt program. Karen wanted Chrissy but did not want me. She ended up taking Chrissy without finalizing papers with the court, taking off to another state.
I was a little over 2 yrs old when Jenny and Lee official adopted me. Now she was my mom and he my dad giving me 5 brothers and 1 sister. Big family I know
I was 6 yrs old when we had ready a weekly reader on adoption in school. A lot of what they were saying in it with how adoptees feel is exactly how I felt, also as my family would be talking about who got what from which parent. I asked who's eyes did I have and my mom would answer you have your mothers eyes. I got very confused about that then we read that weekly reader. So many questions had swirled in my mind. One day as my mom and I are walking into a Wal-Mart crossing the front where the cross walk is as I'm holding her hand, I asked her mom am I adopted? She looked at me with a pause and said well yeah you are in a more concerned voice then any other emotion. I didn't ask anymore questions for a few days, but one night I walked into my parents room and asked why did my family give me up and all my mom said was god meant for us to have you. I then asked if i had any sisters or brothers and she told me about Chrissy. Being so little I couldn't really deal with the thought of someone just threw me away and felt like I did something wrong and that's why my bio family didn't want me.
As I get older with a year or two in between i would keep going to my mom asking more questions. Now you remember my parents also did foster care as well and I would hear and comprehend at around 12 of the children coming to my home for things and they would tell me of there horrifying story of how they ended up in the system. A lot of them were horrible stories and I couldn't understand how a parent do something as bad as they did to their own children.
When I was Fourteen I went to my mom where my brother Josh was talking with her about something and said ok mom I am old enough to know what exactly what happened to me cause I deserve to know my story. I saw my brother and her share this look of like hey its time she should know kinda face. She then proceeded to tell me the whole story minus what i wrote about Karen and Sally bit cause she did not know about that. Deny is the one that filled me in about that. Deny was the one to call in with concerns about us that day my life was saved, to social services.
I spent many days with free time in computer class looking so hard for my half sister after that but since it was still so new at that point I could not find much out about anyone.
More time goes on and I was around 26 yrs old and I do a little google search looking for Sally sue to her being the only way i could possibly find my half sister. I had found a birth certificate that I had a very strong feeling that it was Sally's, A couple months go bye with no other hits and one day i see i have two message requests on FB one from Deny which she began by giving info about me where we lived and just personal info that no one else would of known except for the ones involved. i had another from Chrissy who was saying basically the same thing. I went numb. from the top of my head to the tip of my toes i felt like electricity was vibrating my body. I asked my husband what he thought he said its up to you love what ever you want to do i'm hear for you. so i begin to type and we had gotten to know each other. i went to their state and met them also met Karen. didn't really care for that but was told Sally was telling Chrissy and Deny to find me that was top priority to her for some odd reason. but anyway they asked if i would want to meet her, i answered im not sure im up for that yet.
I get back home after a 2 week visit and I was being asked many times to meet or at least talk with Sally. I finally said no i'd rather not cause i already have a wonderful loving mother and i rather not go down that road with Sally cause i couldn't get over her just leaving. Jenny gave permission for Sally to visit or send me letters as i grew as much as she wanted but she never sent anything or called. my adoption was an open/closed adoption. meaning Sally could contact me anytime and visit me where it was closed for the Bio father who was never in the picture. But Chrissy/Deny and I had a huge fight about it and are no longer in contact. its better cause it was a very toxic family and id rather leave the toxins out of my life.
So guys was I the AH for not wanting to meet/talk to Sally???
​

Hello all! I came here the other day asking for help finding 10 additional zombie movies to bring my list up to 100. With all your recommendations, I far surpassed that. And as I've been watching these movies, I realized I’ve watched at least one movie for each letter. There are tons of alphabetized lists of zombie movies, but I thought it would be fun to list my personal zombie alphabet, by picking my top choice for each letter.
Note: I’m not counting the word “the” in titles. So, for example, The Return of the Living Dead would fall under “R”.
Without further ado:

A

Army of the Dead (2021)
Runner up: A Little Bit Zombie (2012)

B

Boy Eats Girl (2005)
Runner up: The Battery (2012)

C

The Cured (2017)
Runner up: Contracted (2013)

D

Dawn of the Dead (1978, 2004)
Runner up: Day of the Dead (1985)

E

Eat Brains Love (2019)

F

Fido (2006)
Runner up: Final Cut (2022)

G

The Girl With All the Gifts (2016)

H

House of the Dead (2003) (I didn't actually like this one but it's the only one I've watched so far that starts with an H)

I

It Stains the Sand Red (2016)
Runner up: I Walked With a Zombie (1948)

J

Juan of the Dead (2011)

K

King of the Zombies (1941)

L

Let Sleeping Corpses Lie aka the Living Dead at Manchester Morgue/Don’t Open the Window (1974)
Runner up: Life After Beth (2014)

M

Maggie (2015)

N

The Night Eats the World (2018)
Runner up: Night of the Living Dead (1968)

O

One Cut of the Dead (2017)

P

Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2006)
Runner up: Pontypool (2008)

Q

Quarantine (2008)

R

Reel Zombies (2008)
Runner up: [REC] (2007)

S

Savageland (2015)
Runner up: Shaun of the Dead (2004)

T

Train to Busan (2016)

U

Unhuman (2022)

V

The Video Dead (1987)

W

Warm Bodies (2013)—not as good as the book.
Runner up: White Zombie (1932)

X

I cannot find a single zombie movie that starts with X anywhere. Please let me know if you know of one.

Y

Yummy (2019)

Z

Zombie (Fulci, 1980)
Runner up: Zombieland (2009)
What would your zombie alphabet look like? Are there any on here that you would switch out for another movie?

“Ready to make history, baby?”
I looked over toward Sheila as she stood on the gangplank leading up to The Burger. I still couldn’t believe she named our research ship ‘The Burger’... emotional relevance be damned.
“It's not exactly history,” I corrected.
“Oh come on! If your survey is right, this trench might run even deeper than the Challenger Deep, and you’re gonna be the first person to explore it! How is that not exciting?”
“Might be deeper, we only have a limited amount of topological data. And even if it is deeper, we’re talking only a few hundred feet at most, it’s really not that im-”
Sheila silenced me with a kiss.
“Nerd.” She teased, and I found myself too flustered to reply. After five years of marriage, she still could leave me speechless with just a kiss. God… how did someone like me end up with a woman like that?
Then again, how did someone like me end up where I was in general? It was honestly a little overwhelming. Standing on the dock, getting ready to board that ship and join the ranks of Jacques Piccard and James Cameron (yes, that James Cameron) as one of the few people to take a manned submersible down to the deepest parts of the ocean. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little scared too. Diving down that deep could easily be a one way trip if even the slightest thing went wrong. My submarine would be experiencing between 600 to 1100 atmospheres of pressure and while we’d tested it over and over again to make sure it would actually be up for the challenge, there was still a lingering iota of doubt in the back of my mind. All that needed to go wrong was one little thing, and that would be it for me.
The scariest part is that I probably wouldn’t even know what had happened… I’d simply be gone… and Sheila would be alone. The thought of that caused a momentary spike of panic in my chest that almost made me want to call this whole thing off.
Almost.
But, then I felt her hand close around mine. I looked up into her bright blue eyes, and saw her gentle smile.
“You’re gonna be okay, hun,” She promised. “You and your team have been running the numbers, right? It’s gonna go just fine!”
I nodded slowly.
“It’s gonna go fine…” I repeated, before she leaned in to kiss me, and gently pulled me by the wrist up onto the deck of the Burger.
She was probably right.
It probably would be fine.
Probably…
The trench I’d be exploring was a fairly recent discovery, located south of Greenland, in a vast stretch of water situated directly between Newfoundland and Iceland. It’d been uncovered during a topological survey in the area, and my team had taken an interest in investigating it further. At minimum, it was believed to descend to about 35,000 feet deep (over 10,000 meters), although the current theory was that it might have run even deeper. Determining the exact depth of the yet unnamed chasm was just one of the intents of our dive. The rest was studying the organisms that might be found down there, and how they might have differed from the ones found in other deep ocean trenches (some variation being expected given the isolated environment they were developing in.)
I had to admit, it would be exciting to see what new life might have developed in a place such as this, especially if it ran even deeper than our predictions… and that excitement was enough to make me chase the fear of the risks out of my mind, even if it was only briefly. While Sheila went to make sure we were ready to embark, I caught myself wandering out toward the rear of the ship where my submarine, The Tempura, waited for me. Did this submarine deserve a better name than The Tempura? Probably. But, this was my project, so I got to name it and since Burger was already taken, Tempura was the next best name I had. I liked to think that the subs namesake might approve… if she hadn’t died fifteen years ago. Shrimp don’t live very long.
As the ship began to depart, I caught myself reminiscing on how I’d ended up here… it really was all because of those damn shrimp, wasn’t it? Well… maybe not all because of the shrimp. But they were certainly part of it. Back when I was a lot younger, I never really gave much of a shit about anything at all. I guess I did have a thing for the ocean… the great, romantic vastness of it. The sense of adventure that it beckoned with. The endless mysteries that lay within its dark depths. I used to read about it all the time when I was a kid and I especially loved the classic adventures: Verne’s 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, and Melville’s Moby Dick… but that love was just confined to my books. I didn’t really have any interest in actually going out and seeing the ocean. Hell, the idea of going to a beach and standing in the sun with my toes in the sand seemed miserable to me. I was happier (although calling myself happy might’ve been a little disingenuous) alone in my room, enjoying the company of books as opposed to people.
Then came the shrimp.
One of my online friends kept them as a hobby. He used to post pictures of his tanks all the time, and I always thought they looked kinda cool. He said that if I was interested in them, I should try keeping some for myself, and during a particularly bad bout of depression, I figured that maybe it might be worth a shot. So, I bought a cheap tank and some cheap decorations, bought myself some shrimp… and promptly watched them die over the next few weeks. That… that bothered me. I don’t know why but… it really bothered me. I’m still not entirely sure how to describe what it was that I was feeling. Guilt? Defeat? Shame? Here I was, trying to set up a habitat for these creatures just to have something to do to keep the suicidal ideation at bay, and I’d failed almost right out of the gate.
Was I just that bad? Was I just that much of a failure? Was this just going to go to shit just like everything else in my life did, because I was just such an abysmal piece of shit who barely deserved the life she had? Had I just not tried hard enough? Was I too apathetic? What had happened? What went wrong?
It bothered me.
It bothered me enough that I made up my mind to just dump the remaining shrimp down the toilet and toss everything. Forget about it. Move on. End of story. But… that wasn’t fair, was it? The shrimp didn’t all deserve to die just because I couldn’t be bothered, did they? Sure, they were just shrimp, but they were alive too, just like me. They deserved to be alive.
I owed it to them to try and keep them alive, didn’t I?
So… I didn’t dump the shrimp.
Instead, I started doing some reading. Started looking into what I was doing wrong and how to do it all better. I actually got really into it and a few months later, I had a nice planted tank. Looking back, it was amateur shit… but it made me happy. I’d even picked out names for my two favorite shrimp. Burger and Tempura. They’d been the last survivors of my original batch, and they were the ones I ended up caring about the most. Caring for Burger and Tempura gave me a purpose. It became an obsession… and that little obsession drove me to finally start turning my life around.
Like I said, shrimp don’t live for very long. Burger and Tempura were long dead by the time I graduated with a degree in Marine Biology. But they were the ones who inspired me to finally get my life in order. Hell, the shrimp were half the reason that I met Sheila. She was something of an aquarium fanatic too… we’d met on a forum, and gotten to talking. I found out that she just so happened to be studying Marine Biology at another school, and we bonded pretty quickly after that. After graduation, I moved to California to be with her and after that, the rest is history. She was my rock. She was the one who always pushed me to be the best possible version of myself… and I loved her more than I ever knew I could love someone.
A glance back at the shore, fading into the distance tore me out of my reminiscing, and I shifted my focus to the present, going over The Tempura to perform some quick checks. My colleagues and I would be checking and rechecking the submarine over the next two days as we made our way toward the dive spot. Considering the danger that descending that deep posed, I didn’t want to take a single unnecessary risk.
I had too much to live for, after all.
***
The day of the dive, I couldn’t notice how excited the rest of the crew seemed… well… Sheila’s usual crew seemed excited. I guess to them, this was just another research expedition, no different than the ones Sheila usually took this ship out on. Lately her research had been focused on the analysis and study of whale calls. Her recent voyages had involved following their pods, recording their calls and playing them back to see how the whales reacted. It was fascinating stuff, but my research was admittedly a lot different than that.
My obsession had drawn me to the denizens of the deep sea. I’d used The Burger for expeditions before, although none of them had been on quite the same scale as this one. Up until today, the most ambitious thing I’d done was send down unmanned submersibles with cameras. Those submersibles had typically returned. We had lost a few early on due to technical glitches, but the past few years had been blissfully uneventful. Logically, this dive would probably be uneventful as well. But it was still hard to get the jitters out of my head.
My team and I did the final checks necessary to make sure that The Tempura was good to go, before setting up the crane to begin lifting it up. In less than an hour, I’d be inside of that thing, descending to the darkest depths of the ocean.
It didn’t feel real.
I felt Sheila’s hand on my shoulder, and looked over at her.
“Moment of truth, huh?” She asked. She probably meant it to sound encouraging, but it just sounded ominous.
“Moment of truth…” I replied.
“You’re gonna be okay, honey. I know you will.”
She reached out to gently squeeze my hand and gave me a reassuring smile that I meekly returned.
“Yeah, it’s gonna be okay,” I agreed, although there was an element of a lie in it. Statistically, yes. It probably WOULD be okay. But there was that lingering anxiety in the back of my mind that just wouldn’t go away. I looked quietly out at the submarine before me and couldn’t shake the thought that it sort of looked like a giant coffin. Unconsciously, I found myself squeezing Sheila’s hand tighter than normal. She just held me close and pressed a kiss to the top of my head, before gently rubbing my back.
“You’ll be okay,” She promised.
“Dr. Jenner, we’re ready for you.” I heard one of my colleagues say.
Moment of truth.
I took one last look at Sheila, and gave her a quick kiss on the lips for luck. She smiled at me, and I smiled back anxiously at her before heading over toward the submarine.
The crew helped me enter the cockpit and get myself situated inside. The cockpit of the Tempura was fairly cramped and not particularly comfortable. Space and comfort aren’t really luxuries you can afford in a submarine like this. The instruments I needed took up a lot of space, leaving little room for me in there… and I am not a very big person.
Once I was inside, they sealed the hatch. Then the diagnostics checks began.
“Grayson, can you hear us in there?” I heard Sheila say through the radio.
“Loud and clear,” I replied.
“Great. We’ll keep in constant radio contact, just to monitor the signal. In the meanwhile, how’s everything looking in there?”
“Green across the board so far,” I said, although I hadn’t finished running all my final checks yet. Ultimately, nothing was out of place.
This submarine was as good to go as it was going to get.
“I’m all good in here,” I said once I was done. “You can drop me when you’re ready.”
“You got it, honey. Let’s get you in the water, run one final round of tests and start lowering you down.”
A short while later, I felt the submarine begin to move as the crane lifted it off the deck and lowered it into the water. The Tempura honestly resembled its namesake in a way, being long and cigar shaped, only vertically oriented instead of horizontally oriented. We’d admittedly taken more than a few design cues from James Cameron’s Deepsea Challenger. Why fix what isn’t broken, after all?
Once I was in the water, a 1000 pound releasable ballast weight would cause the submarine to sink. Releasing that weight was also my ticket back to the surface, and I could either trigger it from inside the cockpit, or, in the event that the release failed for any reason, it would trigger automatically after roughly 12 hours of exposure to salt water.
Ideally, this would be the first of a number of dives I’d be undertaking… and if all went according to plan, the Tempura could be the first of many similar submarines that would allow other researchers to safely and effectively descend to extreme depths. If all went well, this could be a massive leap forward for researchers like me, allowing us to better explore the deepest depths of the Hadal Zone and learn all we could about the ecosystems down there via direct observation.
If all went well.
If.
Through the viewport, I watched as I was lowered into the ocean. A few of the other crew members had donned diving gear to escort me down, and after they did their final checks and I did mine, we were fully ready to go.
“All’s green across the board,” I said into the radio. “You can start my descent.”
“I hear you, honey,” Sheila replied. “We’re letting you go. Have fun down there.”
“Yeah, I’ll try…” I said quietly as finally, my submarine began its descent.
I took a deep breath, and told myself again that everything would go fine. We had checked everything on this submarine. We’d tested it rigorously. I wouldn’t have allowed myself to set foot inside of it if I hadn’t personally assured that it was safe. But anxiety never really goes away, does it? The crew couldn’t accompany me far. After only a few meters, they fell behind me as I sank deeper and deeper into the infinite, empty blue of the ocean. Soon after, the tether was released.
I was officially on my own.
“60 feet,” I heard Sheila say over the radio. “How are you doing in there?”
“Good,” I replied. “Doing… doing good.”
The submarine continued to descend. Through the viewport, I could see a few stray fish, but nothing particularly eye catching. I almost felt alone down there… almost…
“120 feet…” Sheila said.
“Still doing good,” I replied.
The descent continued, as the waters slowly grew darker and darker.
“400 feet…”
Everything around me just kept getting darker and darker. Only a fraction of the light from the sun ever reached these depths… and I’d be lying if I said that darkness didn’t feel a little… oppressive.
“800 feet… still feeling good?”
“Yeah, still feeling good…” I said, although it was a bit of a lie. If anything, I was second guessing all of this, but I wasn’t about to say that out loud.
“1000 feet… still good?”
“Still good…” I murmured. “I hear you loud and clear.”
Deeper… deeper… deeper.
“1500 feet…”
Three miles. I was three miles away from home. Three miles away from Sheila.
“2000 feet…”
Still a ways to go.
“3000 feet…”
By this point, it was fully dark outside of my cockpit. Outside, all I could see was inky darkness. Even the submarine’s lights didn’t really cut through it. And the kicker? Relatively speaking, I wasn’t that deep. Fishing trawlers reached deeper than this. Better to conserve power until I was at the bottom. My descent continued.
“6000 feet… still good?”
“Still good…”
The check ins were becoming less frequent. My descent still continued… deeper… deeper… deeper. By now, I’d entered the Hadal Zone. But there was still so much deeper o go.
“8000 feet…”
This was past the depths that most whales would dive to… and I still had a ways to go.
“10,000 feet.”
This was close to where the ocean floor usually bottomed out… and yet there was still so much further to go. No. I was really only a third of the way there. How long had it been?Not much had happened beyond my descent and a few sightings out of my viewport, but time had been passing. A glance at my watch confirmed it’d been almost an hour since I’d started to sink… and I knew I wasn’t even close to the bottom yet. The submarine continued to descend, sinking ever deeper as I dropped into an infinite darkness that few had ever dared to witness.
“15,000 feet.”
This check in came later than the others. At this point, Sheila and the crew must have figured that no news was good news, and they were right. I just continued to sink peacefully, down into the crushing depths of the ocean.
These were the depths that one might normally find deep sea fish… and yet I was going somewhere even deeper than that.
“20,000 feet…”
So close…
I continued to sink.
“25,000 feet.”
Soon… and finally…
“30,000 feet. You still doing alright, honey?”
“Yeah… yeah, I’m doing good,” I assured her. I was so close…
By this point, my real work had begun. I’d engaged the lights and begun documenting what little I could see using the on board cameras. Granted, there wasn’t much life at these depths and what little there was, was scarcely documented. Most of what was down here consisted of invertebrates and microscopic life that seemed to float past my viewport.
The light seemed to draw a few creatures in search of food. Small, hardy things that resembled shrimp.
“How’s it looking, Grayson?”
“Dark,” I said, half joking. “We’ve got some life… shrimp. They’re translucent. Can’t get a great look at them… but we’ll see what the cameras pick up.”
“They’ve recognized you as a friend,” Sheila said. I could almost see the smile on her lips as she said it.
“Yeah…” I replied, “Tempura sent them a message, told them I’d be down. How am I looking on depth?”
“35,000 feet… you seeing a bottom yet?”
“No… not that I would until I was there.”
“Damn… how deep does this go?”
“It can’t go that deep…” I murmured, although I really wasn’t so sure about that.
The submarine continued to sink…
36,000 feet…
37,000 feet…
38,000 feet… and then finally, just past the 39,000 foot mark, I finally saw solid ground below me.
Looking through my viewport, I could see a familiar dark brown diatomaceous sludge, covering the seafloor. Microscopic life, likely similar to what had been observed in other deep sea trenches, such as the Challenger Deep.
I needed to gather a sample.
As my submarine reached the bottom, I extended the mechanical arms, pressed flat against the surface of the Tempura, and opened the collection port near the bottom of the ship. Slowly, I sifted some of the sludge into the port. My disturbance of the seafloor kicked up a cloud of the microbial colony, and I could’ve sworn I saw something wiggling through the debris. A pale, white thing, perhaps some sort of sea cucumber? I hastily angled my submarines camera to try and catch a glimpse of it, before returning to my collection. Even in this forlorn place, there was still so much to see! And here I was… completely forgetting my fear as the excitement took hold of me! Few people had ever been down to these unfathomable depths… and yet here I was.
It didn’t feel real but it was! I had reached the deepest part of the ocean!
“How’s it going down there?” I heard Sheila ask. Her voice was a little garbled. The connection down here was faltering.
“It’s beautiful…” I said. “I can’t wait for you to see it!”
“I’ll bet…”
“I’m going to do a sweep of the area, see what samples I can gather,” I said. “What’s my time right now?”
“Three hours. You’ve got nine before your connection to the weight deteriorates and you start to ascend.”
“I’ll make the most of it,” I said. The plan was only to stay down there for six hours, and I didn’t want to push that limit. Life support would only last me for so long, and one little error was all it would take for the ungodly pressure down here to crush me.
I began to move the submarine. Mobility was limited. This thing wasn’t built to travel far. But I still had some limited movement. I recorded all that I could, filming the shrimp that investigated my light, and the things that slithered and crawled through the muck, likely feeding on the carpet of single celled organisms that populated these depths.
The first two hours were… well… I hesitate to call them uneventful, they were actually very fascinating, but little of note happened beyond my recording of a few specimens.
Midway through the third hour though, as I was reaching one of the rock walls of the abyss, I noticed something just above the edge of my viewport swimming away from the light. I could’ve sworn I saw slender, pale tentacles of some sort. Was that a squid? Were there squid down this deep? I wasn’t aware of any species of known squid who could reach these depths… but in this unknown place, what use was the known?
I moved my light and my camera to try and catch another glimpse of it, but whatever it was, it seemed to be gone. Maybe I’d see another one. I still had plenty of time.
“You made a noise. What’d you see?” Sheila asked.
“Something big… I think,” I said.
“Down there? Like a fish?”
“Squid. You wouldn’t find any vertebrates down this deep… the pressure would crush their bones.”
“Jeez…”
I didn’t reply to that, still searching for the thing I’d seen. I shone my light up along the walls of the chasm and angled my camera up as far as it would go. I could see a few volcanic vents, spewing dark clouds into the darkness, and more diatoms. But not much else. Strange invertebrates crawled along the walls. Small creatures, no bigger than an inch long. Related to isopods, perhaps? If I could collect one as a sample, I would have… although taking any of those back to the surface would surely kill them. They were built to live under the impossible pressure of these depths. Taking them to the surface would rip them apart.
I went back to my research, and it wasn’t long until I saw something in the darkness, just on the edge of where my flashlight reached. Trailing white tendrils, snaking their way through the darkness. My eyes narrowed as I moved the submarine forward, trying to catch whatever it was in the light. I saw the shape move, its body turning… I saw its tendrils unfurling. Whatever this was, it was big. It was almost as big as The Tempura… although it was also slender. If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve thought I was looking at some sort of floating debris, but this far down? No. And debris wouldn’t move like that.
This had to be a deepsea squid… or perhaps some other type of cephalopod? Something that preyed upon the various invertebrates down here, perhaps? It seemed to float, just out of sight for a bit, as I tried to get closer. I angled up my light to get a better look at it. The light seemed to shine through it, like some sort of ghost… but I did manage to get a look at it.
Although that look…
That single look made me freeze up.
This things slender tendrils certainly resembled a cephalopod of some sort, but the rest of it… the rest of it looked like something else entirely. Its body was thin, emaciated and translucent, yet despite that it still had characteristics that almost seemed… human. It wasn’t human! Not by any stretch of imagination, but the resemblance was there. It almost reminded me of an exhibit I’d seen in a museum once, depicting a preserved, fully removed human nervous system. I could see a similar shape in its translucent body. Its head seemed almost human as well… albeit with no eyes, and a lamprey like mouth I could only describe as fleshy yet crablike.
Still, despite having no eyes I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was looking at me. And that was when I felt something hit the submarine.
I felt a sudden jolt of panic in my chest. For a moment, I thought that the pressure had started to crush me, but no… no, everything was still fine. Something had just hit me. But what? It didn’t take long before I got my answer.
Another pale creature floated past my viewport, swirling gracefully in the cold dark waters. I watched it for a moment with wide eyes, before noticing its ‘head’ turning slightly toward me. Then, almost instantly, it launched itself at the submarine, darting toward me with blinding speed.
I heard a distinct THUD as its body collided with me, and I could see its pale tendrils pressing against the viewport, twisting and writhing violently. It was trying to attack me. The first creature that I’d seen lunged as well, pounding on my submarine with another THUD. And moments later, I could hear more impacts against the hull. There were more of them… and they did not like having me down there.
“What’s going on?” Sheila asked.
“Somebody doesn’t like me…” I said. “One of the animals down here… some kind of squid, it’s just started attacking the hull.”
“How bad is the damage?”
“Not sure… could be nothing, could be-”
I felt the submarine shake as I tried to move it. The thrusters that pushed me forward weren't responding. Had something gotten caught in it? One of the creatures perhaps?
“Grayson?!” Sheila asked.
“Lost propulsion…” I said. “Fuck… I can’t move.”
“Then drop the weight and come up!”
“No, it’s fine, there’s no other damage, I can still use the port and starboard thrusters to-”
“Grayson!”
I paused. There was genuine panic in her voice… enough to make me realize that even if these things stood little chance of actually breaching the hull, taking the risk would be a fatal mistake.
“I’m on my way up…” I finally said, before reaching out to disengage the ballast weights.
Immediately, I felt myself beginning to rise, although the tentacles clinging to my viewport didn’t disappear.
“We’ve got you…” Sheila said. “Rising up to 38,000 feet.”
The submarine continued to rise, but the creatures clinging to me went nowhere. In fact… I was sure I could see more of them. More pale shapes coming up through the darkness, and these ones filled me with dread. I thought I had been looking at some sort of eerie undiscovered life. But seeing what was coming up toward me now… I knew that I was looking at so much more. The creatures swimming up toward me through the darkness carried weapons… makeshift stone spears and daggers. Primitive tools… but tools all the same.
Signs that these were more than just undiscovered animals.
Much. Much more.
The word: ‘Mermaids’ crossed through my mind, but these were something far different than the ones I’d heard of in folklore. These looked like they’d swam out of the depths of hell itself. Boneless pale tendrils reached for me… and they were getting closer. The pale shapes reached my submarine as I rose higher. I kept praying to whatever God may be listening that the dropping pressure would force them off. The air in a submarine is pressurized, so during normal operation, there should have been no danger of decompression sickness for me.
For them… well… normally I’d feel a little guilty about subjecting an undiscovered species of deep sea mermaids to the horrors of the Bends. But given my circumstances, I didn’t have a lot of other options.
They didn’t let go, though.
They should have. But they didn’t.
What were these things?
I saw a splayed hand press against my viewport. Or… it somewhat resembled a hand. It had suckers on it, like a tentacle and the ‘fingers’ curled open like tentacles. The creature crawled over my viewport, clinging to The Tempura as it rose, and I could see the folds of its crablike mouth opening and pressing against the glass. I could see some sort of bile rising up through its translucent throat, before it secreted it all over my viewport. Was it trying to digest me? Was that how these things fed? How strong were its stomach acids? Were they strong enough to-
The window cracked.
My heart skipped a beat.
“No… no, no no…”
“Grayson, what’s wrong?!”
“They cracked the window… S-Sheila they… oh God… oh fuck, they just…”
“THEY DID WHAT?”
“It’s secreting some sort of enzyme… it’s on the window, it’s… FUCK… I’m gonna die… I’m gonna die… I’m gonna die…”
“You’re not gonna die, baby! Just… just keep ascending, okay? You’re at 30,000 feet… just keep going…”
I nodded, and kept on rising, although the question of whether or not the rest of the creatures were trying to digest the other parts of my submarine floated through my mind. How much damage could The Tempura take before it imploded? How much longer did I have? The submarine still continued to rise… 25,000 feet… almost halfway home… almost… almost.
The creature outside of my viewport slithered along the glass, searching for a better area to try and digest. Past him, I noticed a few of his companions dropping off. Maybe the change in pressure finally was getting to them?
From the corner of my eye, I suddenly noticed a flashing light. A warning. The hydraulics on one of the Tempura’s arms were shot… what else was damaged?
I checked my oxygen levels. 32%.
I should’ve had at least 14 hours of air. I’d only been down there for about 6 hours… I shouldn’t have been this low.
31%.
No… no, no, no, no… they’d damaged the air tanks!
30%.
29%
“20,000 feet!” Sheila said. “You still with me, baby?”
“Y-yeah…” I said. I didn’t mention my air situation. I didn’t need to worry her further.
The submarine continued its ascent.
15,000 feet.
24%. I was running out of time.
The creatures still clung to the Tempura. How had the pressure change not killed them yet? My oxygen was dropping faster than before. I was hemorrhaging air. Another crack formed across my viewport. I let out a little, involuntary gasp before trying to force myself to stop hyperventilating.
“Grayson, what was that?”
“I-it’s fine…” I stammered, “It’s fine!”
“Grayson what the hell is going on down there?!”
“They’re still on the submarine… they’re still…” I paused, looking at my oxygen levels. “19%...”
“19% of what? Grayson what’s going on!”
I paused.
18%.
“Air… I’m… I’m losing air…”
“That’s fine, you’re going to make it!” She said, although I heard her voice cracking a little. “You’re gonna make it!”
I didn’t answer.
12,000 feet.
11,000 feet…
My oxygen level continued to drop.
15%.
14%.
12%.
9,000 feet.
The creatures still clung to me, as the submarine continued to rise. The one on my viewport was still there, slowly crawling along the glass again. I stared into its eyeless face and swore I was looking at the face of my killer.
7,000 feet…
Oxygen had dropped to 9%. It dropped to 8% before I even got to 6,000 feet. I was going to die here…
The viewport cracked again and I squeezed my eyes shut. The submarine rocked. I was sure one of the thrusters had been damaged. My ascent slowed.
“Grayson, what’s going on?”
“I’m sorry Sheila…”
Another crack spread across my viewport.
“I’m… I’m not making it back up…”
“YES YOU ARE!”
“I’m sorry…” The tears started to come as the reality of my death became clearer and clearer… this was it.
“YOU’RE COMING BACK UP, YOU HEAR ME! GODDAMNIT, I’LL BRING YOU BACK UP!”
“I love you…”
That creatures face pressed against the glass. It vomited more of its stomach acid onto the cracked glass, and I wondered if this might finally be what broke it. Part of me hoped it would be… the one good thing about dying this deep was that at least I’d die quickly. My suffering would be over. Then, the creature suddenly pulled back, twisting and writhing violently. I saw other shapes moving past it in the water, other ‘mermaids’ that had been clinging to the submarine.
Something was agitating them.
Something was scaring them off.
Then I heard it, over the radio… whale songs.
“What the hell…?”
“Grayson, are you still there?!”
“I… they’re finally breaking off. Sheila, what did you do?”
“I’m broadcasting some of the orca recordings we’ve been using. Are they still clinging to you?”
“No! They’re backing off! I… whatever you’re doing, keep doing it!”
The submarine kept rising.
5,000 feet.
4,000 feet.
4% oxygen.
I could still do this, right?
The submarine continued to rise.
3%.
3,000 feet.
2,000 feet.
2%.
1,000 feet… so close… I was so close…
I could almost see the surface through my viewport, rushing up toward me. I tried not to breathe. Tried not to move. All I did was hope.
500 feet.
I closed my eyes.
“Grayson we have your signal, we’re coming to pick you up!”
Sheila’s voice sounded so far away as my submarine finally breached the surface of the water… and with the last of my strength, I pulled the emergency release on the hatch, and threw it open, taking in lungful after lungful of fresh salty air.
I didn’t dare so much as touch the water beneath me… but I was topside again, and in the distance, I could see The Burger!
“We see you!” Sheila said, “We’ve got you baby… we’ve got you…”
“I see you too…” I said through the tears. “Thank you… thank you…” I didn’t have any words left in me after that.
As soon as I was back on the ship, I collapsed into Sheila’s arms, breaking down into tears as I clung to her, terrified that at any moment, some sort of unspoken other shoe would drop and I’d lose her all over again.
“Shh… it’s alright baby… I’ve got you… you’re safe… you’re safe…” I felt her fingers running through my air and I knew that what she said was true.
I was home.
I was safe.
***
I left my colleagues to review the data that the Tempura gathered during its short expedition. As far as I know, they haven’t published anything. I have a few ideas as to why, but I’ll keep those to myself. Let’s just say that some people would rather this information not become public.
I have a feeling that the Tempura may not be diving again for some time, if ever. I will confess that I do consider that a bit of a shame. Despite everything… I would consider it a success. It endured far more stressful conditions than I had expected, and from what I heard, required fewer repairs than I’d thought it would. But, even if it was approved for another dive, it wouldn’t be me piloting it. No. I will never be setting foot inside of that machine again, nor will I ever be returning to what my colleagues have been quietly referring to as ‘The Jenner Trench’.
I can’t.
Every night, I wake up crying after dreaming of pale shapes outside of my cracked viewport, clinging to Sheila and sobbing. I can’t put myself in that situation again.
I can’t.
Instead, I think I’m going to spend the next few years on solid ground. There’s a teaching position available at a local university. I think that might be the best place for me right now. Who knows, maybe I can help some other deadbeat discover a passion for marine biology.
After everything, my love for the sea remains unchanged… I’m just a little more wary of it, these days.

Common ways you Give Demons Access to Your Life

Demons are very real spiritual entities that seek to wreak havoc and destruction in the lives of unsuspecting individuals. Do you have a demon? If you’ve been experiencing unexplained occurrences, strange behaviors, or a pervasive sense of darkness, it’s possible that you’ve opened the door to demonic influence.
– Engaging in occult practices like Ouija boards, tarot cards, or séances
– Harboring unforgiveness, bitterness, or hatred towards others
– Participating in sexual immorality or the occult

Do Have a Demon? More symptoms

• Intense fear is the fight-or-flight response, which floods the body with adrenaline and cortisol in the face of perceived danger. While this response serves an evolutionary purpose, it can become maladaptive when the threat is not immediate or physical.
• Bizarre dreams, the terror of falling endlessly, the dread of being chased by menacing creatures, or the anguish of feeling physically harmed, these nightmares can feel all too real and overwhelm us with a sense of helplessness.
• Cutting of your body for blood– Cutting may provide a sense of control or release for some individuals, but it ultimately perpetuates a cycle of pain and self-destruction.
• Bizarre continuous thoughts-These types of thoughts are often a product of an overactive or anxious mind and do not reflect your true desires or intentions. What’s crucial is recognizing these thoughts.
• Occult invitations-Channeling to contact the spirits
• attempting to communicate with dead loved ones
• suicidal thoughts Suicidal thoughts may feel persistent and inescapable,
• Sexual abuse as a child-The trauma of sexual abuse as a child can have a devastating and long-lasting impact. Children have not yet accumulated the defenses and coping mechanisms that are necessary to overcome such a violation. The effects of childhood sexual abuse can persist well into adulthood, manifesting in a range of emotional, psychological, and behavioral issues.
• Social Isolation-Social isolation can be a complex and nuanced experience, even for those who previously thrived in social settings. While some may find that their friendships have become “boring and uneventful,” it’s important to approach this shift with empathy and self-awareness.

There is a fine line between mental illness and the demonic. It’s a delicate topic that requires careful consideration. While mental health conditions are medical in nature, some believe there may be a spiritual component as well.
If you are struggling with your mental health and are on psychological medications, it’s important to assess whether those medications are truly working for you. If not, it’s possible that the root of your issues could be something more than just a chemical imbalance.
In these cases, you may need to explore the spiritual realm and consider the possibility of demonic influence. Casting out such entities from your soul could be the key to finding true healing and restoration.
However, this is a complex matter that should be approached with wisdom and discernment. Seek guidance from trusted spiritual leaders and medical professionals to determine the best path forward for your unique situation. With the right support, you can find the freedom you seek.
—

Mental Illness or Demonic Possession: Recognizing the Fine Line

There is a fine line between mental illness and the demonic. The question always remains: do you have a demon? Do you mental illiness? If you are on psychological medications, ask yourself if the meds are working for you. If not, then you might have a demon you need to to cast out of your soul.
There is a fine line between mental illness and the demonic. It’s a delicate topic that requires careful consideration. While mental health conditions are medical in nature, some believe there may be a spiritual component as well.

Are psychological Medications Effective?

If you are struggling with your mental health and are on psychological medications, it’s important to assess whether those medications are truly working for you. If not, it’s possible that the root of your issues could be something more than just a chemical imbalance.
In these cases, you may need to explore the spiritual realm and consider the possibility of demonic influence. Casting out such entities from your soul could be the key to finding true healing and restoration.
However, this is a complex matter that should be approached with wisdom and discernment. Seek guidance from trusted spiritual leaders and medical professionals to determine the best path forward for your unique situation. With the right support, you can find the freedom you seek.

They they've returned from war Their bodies home, but souls are far Friends and brothers they lay dead Now resting in their forever bed
No more dreams to haunt their sleep Instead their spirits are God's to keep Survived by those, whose minds bend The daily struggle to comprehend
Why are they blessed with life When they took so many in the strife Riddled with survivors guilt Was it luck? Or am I properly built
Those who've gone are the best of us To honour them, a task given thus Prevent more violence, our highest duty To preserve life's mortal beauty

Context I Avery 19 year old female and Lucy (Not her real name) 18 year old female have been friends for a year. I am a grade above her and we are in the same fine art activity. We are both on the colorguard team at my school.
Our team isn’t necessarily good, but we aren’t bad. (To the people who know Scholastic AA). For some reason Lucy is obsessed with the idea she looks like me. All because of a comment someone made to her. They walked up to her thinking it was me from a far. She has made it her life mission to make herself me.
She was a primary flag on my team and I am a primary rifle. Since I am a senior in school I’m not getting ready for next season. However, my director is making all members who have done at least one season try rifle. Lucy was excited to try rifle saying she can be like me. I thought this was sweet cause she looked up to me, but I was very wrong.
Lucy happened to be really good at rifle. Nothing against her she’s a great person to have on the team, but her ego has gone way up. She’s been making fun of people who drop their rifle or use the wrong technique and she always comes in for reassurance saying things like “Right Avery she needs to slow down her toss or right Avery she needs to put her left hand completely to the side.” It puts me in a position that makes me uncomfortable and i’ve told her to stop.
Lately she’s been dressing like me. She always used to wear a Tee shirt, shorts, and her hair down to rehearsal, but lately she’s been wearing Sports bras, leggings, and pulls her hair into a braid. Just like me. She used to march around saying she hates the color pink (She’s a major tom boy), but now she wears it saying it suits her. She even bought my perfume. I thought it was weird, but I didn’t say anything cause I’ll be gone within a week anyways because of Graduation.
She was starting to really piss me off when she would make comments like “Avery look we both have a pimple on our cheek.” I’m extremely insecure about acne. She knows this. She would say things like “our cycles are synced it’s like our bodies are the same person.” “We’re both on our 15th set of invisalign. Our teeth are getting straighter together.”
Yesterday I was getting ready for a banquet with Lucy and some other girls from the team. It’s all fun and games till Lucy pulls out almost the exact same dress as me. There is no way she wasn’t trying to copy. I was going for a Audrey Hepburn look with a black dress, gloves, pearls, and Prada sunglasses. Lucy pulls out a shorter black dress, gloves, pearls, black sunglasses. She then exclaimed “Omg twin we’re gonna look so good. It’s almost like great minds think alike or something. People won’t even be able to tell us apart.”
I was livid to say the least. She knew I had been planing on that outfit since last banquet. I let it go it was my senior banquet it was fine. I take photos with everyone and she’s doing her thing when she puts her arm around my boyfriend’s shoulder. I immediately stand up from our banquet table and grab her arm swinging it off him. She said “Sorry I thought it would be a cute picture cause he’s dressed to match us.” I cut her off and said “No Lucy he’s dressed to match me. I’m not sure what you think your doing wanting to become me and comparing yourself to me, but it needs to stop.” She then rolls her eyes and slumps in her chair. She mumbled under her breath “I don’t look like you. You look like me. Get it right. You’re so obsessed.”
I started to yell at her “You don’t look like me. Not even a little bit. Your eyes are blue and mine are green. Your hair is brown while mine is blonde. Your nose slopes down and mine slopes up at the end. Your chin is slightly pointed and my sticks out. My eyes are almond while yours are hooded. I’m 5’11 and you’re 5’3. Your boobs are bigger than mine. My feet are bigger than yours. We do not look alike.”
At this point everyone is looking at us. Most people know what i’m getting at cause they asked me days ago why she was copying me. Lucy starts to cry called me some names and ran off. I cut the night short and went home. I told my mom in the morning and she told me I should’ve let Lucy live out her fantasy for a week till I graduate. A couple of friends of Lucy have texted me and called me an Asshole. But I don’t think I am.
Am I the Asshole?

Over 150 hours, Rank 28 solo. This game has consumed me for the past 2 weeks and I haven't touched grass since. I absolutely love and hate it with passion. I can tell the devs have put lots of time and effort into this masterpiece. I don't think I've got hooked on a game and kept playing it non-stop since Elden Ring 2 years ago.
The unique experience GZW offers is more than just a milsim, it's a thrilling and risky adventure everytime setting out base, where preparation and player interaction & socialization is key to your mission's success. The detailed world-building and environment design is also next level, there's just so much story-telling hidden in plain sight of the massive open world.
That being said, a game in early access is hardly without issues. It has truly tested my patience and EQ to a level I cannot comprehend, yet I cannot end my suffering as I am unable to restrain myself from playing this amazing fucking game.
However, for the past few days, I honestly cannot fathom how many times I've gone to Blue fucking Lagoon just because the NPC wouldn't drop a stupid storage key for the quest item in that tiny room. I'm still at level 2 turncoat and banshee due to this. WHY did devs think locking quest progression behind key drops with less than 1% RNG chance is fun? I cannot understand.
There were so many times I got 180° hip fire 1-tapped by an AI aimbot 150m out after missing the initial shot.
No problem, I'll just go and pick up my gear from my dead body in Blue fucking Lagoon across half the god damn map... (Crimson btw)
All we need to do is get on a heli... NEGATIVE, ALL BIRDS ARE IN THE A.. FUCK YOU
Oh, finally! here's my body after searching for 69 million years, why is it sinked to the ground and UNLOOTABLE though?
forget about the body though because...
BAM! GPU dump crash bitch! Wanna get back in?
NAH, SERVER CRASH!!! BITCH!
Rinse & repeat I went from 100k to 10k cash losing money faster than in fucking Vegas. Yeah, I know farming is easy late-game, but the experience ain't fun like this.
Yeee rant over. Still gonna keep playing to torture myself.
Btw, suggestion: Please no player-drivable cars, I'm down for ground transport driven by the AI. Don't want to get TK'd by a drunk driver without a license.

As of now, only two out of the six big villains continue to remain active at this point. Shiggy is pretty much alive but his body has been completely taken over by AFO's vestige. Kurogiri has switched sides, but is now at his limit when it comes to creating more portals. The rest are either dead or at the brink of dying especially due to the injuries they sustained in their respective battles. But one thing's for sure. Only one of them is totally confirmed to be dead, and that person is AFO himself.
What do you think will be their fates by the end of the series? Will they make it to the end? Is this really gonna be it for them?
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I’m not too sure if this is the right place to post this. Hell, I don’t know if anyone’s even gonna see it. I want to start this off by saying that this story isn’t to be taken lightly. I don’t want you to read this and try to copy what is done, instead take it as a warning. A warning to never play this game, a warning I wish I had gotten before I made that mistake.
I lived almost my entire life in the middle of Delaware, if you forgot that was a state I wouldn’t blame you. In my neighborhood there were 3 kids I always played with everyday. Kyle, Jimmy, and Seth. Our houses were close enough to each other that we played together whenever we had the chance.
We did all the typical things a couple 13 year old boys would do. Swimming in the local pool, going to the Walmart and buying nothing, or just hang in one of our basements and being jack-asses. It was almost a Disney-like childhood. Sleepovers were nothing new for us, I think we had one almost every weekend. What was new was not having any parents there to watch us.
Seth offered to host the next one and included that his parents were gonna be gone for the night. They were staying down at the beach and told Seth it would be fine for him to invite us over. Fine for him, not so much for the rest of us. I think me and the other guys pleaded and begged our parent’s multiple times to let us go.
Our parents knew each other and trusted us but the idea of 4 pre-pubescent boys being alone in a house was any parents worse nightmare. Somehow, by the grace of god, they agreed the night before. After all this time, I still wish they had denied us. Maybe things would have ended differently.
I wanna tell you about the events that happened that night that changed me into who I am. It changed my life and every families that was involved in it. This is the night I played Hide and Seek with my friends.
“Hide and Seek? Won’t that get boring with just 4 of us?” I asked suspiciously as I took a handful of Doritos from the bowl on the table. It was about 10:30pm when Kyle suggested we play a game so we could try and stay up later.
“Yeah man and besides, we have an Xbox.” Jimmy pointed out. Seth came walking down the basement with some sodas in hand, almost dropping the cans
“What are you guys talking about? You better not be thinking of touching my controller with your greasy hands Jimmy, not after last time.”
“It was an accident! I got you a new one.” Jimmy responded before chuckling a bit.
“No guys, I saw this on the internet a few nights ago. We have to try it.” Kyle said. He almost sounded like he was pleading with us.
Kyle was always the kind of kid to believe in spooky things. Ghost, werewolves, demons. You name it, Kyle probably believed it. I remember one time he somehow got us all to go in the woods with him during the winter to look for dog people that a YouTuber said was out near us. We all got the flu after that.
“Oh god, another one of these? Is it gonna be like that dog thing again?” Seth chimed in.
“It’s not like that, this one is real. I promise dude.” Kyle seemed genuine about it. I almost felt bad as the other guys called him stupid for it.
“Alright man, we try your game for a bit. Then if it’s a bust, we play Xbox.” I suggested. Kyles face lite up as he got some paper out of his bag.
“Who said you were in charge of deciding when to play my Xbox?” Seth questioned. I just shushed him as Kyle got some more stuff out of his bag. Candles, lighters, a knife. I would have hated to see what would happen if we said no to his idea.
“Alright, first. We gotta turn all the lights off. Not a single one can be on during the game.” We looked at each other before we went off to get the house started. I had been in Seth’s house almost as much as mine but there’s strangeness to it when the lights were all off. We got back to the basement where we found Kyle lighting the candles and placing them on the ground around the paper. As we sat around him I could see some words on the paper. “Ready or Not, here it comes”
“What’s that for?” I pointed as Kyle placed the last candle down.
“That’s to start the game. I saw these Indian guys play it and they said you have to start the game just like this or it doesn’t work.” Kyle answered as he slowly pulled the knife up and turned to face us.
“Now, we have to cut ourselves.”
“Like Sarah from home room?” Jimmy chuckled
“I thought that was a rumor?” Seth remarked as he leaned towards Jimmy
“Guys! Focus! Just a small prick on your finger. Then you put it on the paper.” Kyle demanded as he slowly pressed the knife tip into his finger
“This feels very, extreme. Is this safe to play?” I asked, seeing Kyle whence as blood slowly pooled on the top of his finger
“I think so, the guys seemed like they were having fun when they did it.” He held the knife towards me next, the guys watched as I reluctantly took the knife and plucked my finger. I did encourage us to play this for Kyle sake, I couldn’t chicken out now. The other two did the same, Jimmy had more tears then the rest of us but when he finished he handed the knife back to Kyle.
“Now?” Seth asked, rubbing his finger on his Pokémon pajama bottoms.
“Now, repeat after me.” We all listened to Kyle and repeated
“ 1, 2, 3. Ready or not, come find me.” We stared at each other. Silence filled the basement as our eyes kept darting to see if anything happened.
“Do you hear that?” Seth whispered We listened as the most quiet fart escaped him. He fell on his back and laughed. Jimmy joined him and so did I. We laughed and laughed, I looked to see if Kyle found it as amusing but was met with sadness. He looked almost heart broken, I knew he lived for these kinda things and for it to not work most have broken him. I moved to him and smiled
“Hey, at least we didn’t have to sit out in negative degrees to get results this time huh?” He smiled slight back
“Yeah I guess you’re right. I don’t know how those guys made it look so convincing.”
“CGI probably, my dad says that’s how most things are done like that.” Seth said as he got up to go turn the light back on. Before he hit the switch, a loud thud filled the room. I’ll never forget the look on his face as he rushed back to the floor where we were all sitting.
“W-what was that?” Jimmy whispered to me. I didn’t know what to say until Kyle reluctantly chimed in.
“It’s him, the seeker.” We sat still as another thud could be heard. Like it was right above us.
“What the fuck dude? S-Seth? Did you invite someone else over? Duncan or Josh maybe?” Jimmy was frantic with his questions as his eyes filled with tears.
“No, it’s him.” Kyle answered before Seth could respond.
“Who?” I asked
“The seeker. The person who plays the game with us.”
“Well tell him we don’t wanna play anymore.” Seth demanded, making sure to keep his voice down.
“We can’t, they said he plays until everyone is found.”
“What do you mean until we’re found?” I asked, I kept looking at the stairs. My brain was trying to wrap around what was happening while also trying to keep reason in it.
“It’s like hide and seek. We play until we’re all found or he can’t find us.” Kyle answered
“Ok, let’s go get found so the game can be over.” Seth tried to stand before Kyle pulled him down.
“No, we don’t wanna be found. Bad things happen if we’re found.” Kyle looked at the carpet as he said it. The thud got louder, almost like it was searching the house.
“Ok, ok. Then we should just stay down here right? If we hide down here it won’t find us….h-how long do we have to hide man?” I stuttered as I waited for Kyle to answer.
“I…I don’t know.”
We sat there in silence, thuds and crashes from upstairs made the silence somehow louder. I had wished it was all a prank. Seth and Jimmy loved pulling those and Kyle was usually the target for them. But I knew it wasn’t that, I knew this was real. I don’t know how it was but at that moment there was something upstairs, tearing the house apart trying to find us.
We stayed like that until Seth finally spoke “Let’s run.”
“What?” Kyle mumbled out, his face covered by his hands. Tears were rolling down his cheeks.
“Let’s run, the doors not to far from the basement entrance. We unlock it and run to a neighbors.” Seth looked for nods or any sign of agreement. Jimmy nodded and I slowly shook yes. I looked at Kyle, grabbing his leg and squeezing it.
“Come on man, we’re definitely faster than it. We’ll be out before it even sees us.” I smiled at him.
He looked up and slowly smiled, nodding. We all slowly moved to the base of the basement stairs. Looking down into a dark basement is scary, but looking up into a dark house is another whole kind of fear. I don’t know how long we took going up those steps but it felt like ages, we were slowly ascending into what could be our end. Seth held the doorknob and just stared at it. I knew he didn’t wanna be the one to open it, to potentially be the one to see what ever it was that was on the other side. I scooted around Jimmy and slowly turned to knob.
The door silently opened, the house was almost pitch dark. The only light we had was from the moon herself, shining into the windows and illuminating the destroyed house. He quietly but quickly moved towards the front door. I peered into the living room to see the chairs and couches turned upside down, some side table doors ripped off they hinges.
“Hurry up man.” Jimmy urged Seth on as he fumbled slightly with the deadbolt. I looked to see Kyle slight behind, close to the basement door. I moved over to get him ready to run
“Let’s go Kyle, we gotta get-“ I almost finished my words as I watched his face turn from scared to horrified. I turned slightly to see Jimmy on the floor crawling away from the door.
I’m not sure even after all this time how to describe what we saw that night. I had wished it was just a man. Some man that was in the house with us but it sadly wasn’t. The best I can try and give a description is to think of a Picasso painting. It had a crookedness to it. Its arm jagged and legs crumbled as it towered over Seth. Seth didn’t move, he didn’t try and fight. All he could do was stand there and look up to see its eyes peering down at him. It picked Seth up and like a rag doll threw him into the living room. A mean and disgusting noise came from his body as he hit the wall of the fireplace. I quickly got Jimmy to his feet and Kyle to snap out of his gaze. Me and Kyle ran to the bathroom as Jimmy made his to the kitchen. I locked the door as I tried to catch my own heart from jumping out my chest. “J-Jimmy? Where-“
My question was shortly answered as I heard Jimmy whimpering and crying outside the room. I unlocked the door and peaked out the crack. I watched “it” linger its way towards him and all I could hear was wet sounds. I quickly shut the door and relocked it. My mind didn’t really process what had just happened in what couldn’t have been more than 3 minutes. My two friends I had been with almost my entire life were gone, just like that. I sat on the cold tile floor as I listened to the thudding from outside. My breathing was dull as I looked to see Kyle shaking by the toilet. I slowly moved my self over and gave him a hug. I knew what he was thinking, I knew the horrible things he was saying to himself in his mind. I didn’t know how to tell him that what was happening wasn’t his fault. I’m not sure that even now I could find the words to tell him that.
“We’ll be fine, we just gotta stay here. It won’t find us.” I tried to reassure him.
“No, it will find us. We can’t stay here.”
“Kyle, Seth and Jimmy are dead. We can’t go back out there and run. I don’t know why we thought it would work.”
“No we…we…I need to get to the basement.” Kyle said, he looked up at me.
“Why? It’s a dead end there. It will-“
“Maybe, I can try and end the game. Rip the paper up…something, I don’t know.” I didn’t know what to say.
On one hand it was the only idea we had besides hiding and waiting to be found. On the other, I couldn’t bring myself to put that hope in his mind. To encourage him just to watch as it fails, He knew this as he came to his own conclusion.
“I’ll go down there, and you head for the coat closet. If it doesn’t work I’ll run back up and I’ll head there to hide with you. Ok?” He nodded to himself. I just stared at him as I nodded back slight. We stood up and slowly unlocked the door. It wasn’t anywhere we could see, which made it all more frightening. We slowly made our way to the basement door
“Good Luck” I whispered to him. He smiled and went our separate ways in the house. I quickly got in the coat closet that was almost directly in front of the basement door, and Kyle made his way down stairs.
That was the last I saw of Kyle, it wasn’t long after I heard loud thudding outside the closet door that quickly went down the stairs. All I could do was sit there, and listen as I heard the silent screams and the pounding of flesh over and over and over again. Soon the hits became more wet, and the screams became more silent.
I sat in the closet and accepted my fate. I slight covered myself with a fallen coat as I heard the thudding move around the house. It was only a matter of time before it got me, before it ripped the door open and I would be met with its horrifying figure. I looked out the slits of the closet door and saw the moon light shining through the windows.
I’m not sure when I fell asleep or even how I did. My body must have been so exhausted that it decided sleep was more important than survival. My eyes slowly opened to see daylight peering though the house. The night was gone and the day had come to save me. Although I was relieved I still forced my eyes shut. The small amount of what I saw was enough to make me do it. I saw the closet door was open, I didn’t wanna have them open as it might slowly peer from the corner and look at me. I didn’t want my last image to be that. I just kept them closed and covered my ears. And then I felt it. Thuds.
I could feel the thudding get closer, closer, closer. Two hands grabbed me, this was it. My flight or fight kicked in and I started to fight. Kicking, hitting, screaming. Anything I could think of I was doing.
“Calm down son, calm down. You’re safe.” Those words hit me like a wall, a calmness I hadn’t felt since the day before came over me. My eyes slowly opened to see the face of a young man kneeling in front of me, his hands holding my arms. He was a police officer.
“It’s gonna be alright.” He reassured me again as he slowly brought me to my feet. He walked me out of the closet and faintly said “Keep your eyes down kid, I’ll lead you out.” I think he said it more for himself, cause I knew what he didn’t want me to see.
Seth was laying in the living room, he’s body bruised from the impact with the wall and his bones broken.Jimmy was on the kitchen counter, multiple wounds and slashes were found on him. Kyle…I’m not sure what really happened to him. The reports on his body never came out. I just know I’ll never forget those sounds from when I hid in the closet.
Seth’s parents moved away almost immediately after the incident. Just left, didn’t take a single thing from that house. It was later taken down, I guess no one wanted to live in a house where something like that could happen.
I saw Jimmy and Kyles parents every once and awhile when I walked around the neighborhood. They would give me small smiles and waves and I would return them back. No more, no less. After high school I moved away for college, my parents knew why and never argued that I should stay closer.
That was a little more than 15 years ago. Few weeks back my dad called to tell me mom had passed away. He offered if I wanted to stay at home for the funeral, stay in my old room. I hesitated. I thought of that night every day for the past 15 years, never really bringing myself to wanna be back in that neighborhood. I refused and opted for a hotel a few miles away in town.
And that’s where I am now, in my bed writing my tale. I want you to take it as a warning, cause as I write this I know I’m not alone. It’s here, it’s in the closet of the hotel room. I can just make out its outline. It’s crooked legs crouching to fit inside, its arms slight poking out from some clothes, and its eyes staring at me. It knows I see it, and it knows I’m writing about that night. I’m not sure why now it decided to finish the game from all those years ago but here we are. Once I finish and close my laptop, it will kill me. My father will have to bury his son just moments after burying my mother.
I say this again, this tale is a warning. If I could I would go back and tell myself to never play that game. I would tell my parents to never let us have that sleep over. I would do everything in my power to stop that night from happening, to be able to save my friends. So please, I beg and plead to you, don’t play this game. Cause if you do, whether your ready or not…
He’s coming to find you