So I don't really play story games. I used to play lots of online games like Call of duty and Fortnite. But those games made me mad and stuff. And over the years of me playing COD, a few years back it even made my grades drop because of how much I played it over doing homework. I did play the campaign of one or two cods and they were all right. MW2 remaster was really fun. But I would try to play story games, but end up dropping them due to boredom. Mainly first person or new RPG style games. But one day I played a bit of the old Final Fantasy 7. I really liked the game play style. And I was like "that was really fun" and that was the end of that. I just never got back to playing it. Then I kinda stopped playing games for a year and just did other hobbies. But I decided to buy Elden Ring cause I like fantasy stuff. I am still playing it and it is super fun. But I got burnt out and decided to try something else. So I got Persona 3 for my birthday (a few weeks ago). It might be the most fun game I have ever played. At first I saw the main character and was like, I won't like this. As much as I like Delinquent manga, school media bores me. I hate school irl. I though the game was about school (i mean it low key is lol). But when I got really into it (when you get full ability to do anything you want, I really started to enjoy it. The characters are all interesting. I am only 6ish hours in right now. I really like hang out with Kenji. He is funny and I like encouraging him to date his teacher lol. Miyamoto is a cool dude. Irl I lift weights and stuff, so I would prob be best pals with Miyamoto irl. Yuko is fun to hang with too after track and stuff. Akihiko is the same as Miyamoto. He is just super cool. Yukari is a good friend and well written character. Junpei is king...all imma say. I have found I really enjoy turn based games cause its the opposite of crazy online first person shooters that make me mad. The story is cool too but im still really early in it. It's just super fun. I will come home after school, sit down with a coffee and play Persona 3 until homework time. Its so fun. I just wanted to rant about it cause no one else I know plays the game. I needed to get it out of my system lol.

Sorry, this is a long read but I feel like I need to vent and maybe be judged for being an idiot. I will try to be as unbiased as possible as I know I'm at fault too.
So I (m30) and my ex (f26) met on Hinge and quickly started playing video games together (Destiny 2, and to this day it's still one of my best memories). We stayed up for so long just talking for hours; we hit it off instantly. This theme carried on until we met. I traveled to her (this will become a pattern), and when I tell you it was love at first sight, I mean it. I just could not stop smiling; she was so perfect in every way. As the relationship progressed, it only got stronger. She helped me open up (we both have broken pasts and trauma to go with it). She helped me become soft and as silly as it may seem, she helped me cry again. I have never felt so safe, secure, loved, seen, and heard by anyone. I truly looked up to her and appreciated her as a person, and I know she felt the same. She told me on many occasions how happy she was, how no one had ever been this good to her. She had a bad past with men, so I took that into consideration and even asked if it was OK to touch her and if she was comfortable during our intimate moments. We honestly were perfect and everyone could see how happy we were. Everything I liked, she liked. If I played a game, she got that game to join me (she even got a PS5 just to play with me). She was my little copycat; she even stole some of my jokes and sayings. We were inseparable; she was my best friend and future wife.
Fast forward to us moving in together about a year into our relationship. I moved everything; I left friends and family and packed everything up to be with her. Things were still amazing and healthy. We both have a child each, so that added to the mix, and honestly, they were a pain now and again, but I can safely say they loved having each other around... when they weren't bickering, and I loved them both. I took her child as my own and loved her; I still do.
We went through a lot together and I was always there to support her, and I think I did a good job of it too. I helped her through all her problems; I was always there to help and be a shoulder to cry on. She told me about her past and how every single one of her exes hurt her in some way from the r-word to abuse and cheating. I made sure I was nothing like them. I respected her in every way possible. I made sure I kissed her, told her how beautiful she was and how lucky I was to have her, how much I loved her. I hyped her up every chance I got. I made it my mission to make her feel confident again, and it worked. She finally saw what I did, but let's focus on the issues because every relationship has them. We both got sloppy. I have ADHD and she has her own personal issues, and we let the house get on top of us now and again. She definitely cleaned more than me and I never took the initiative, but when I cleaned, oh boy did I clean, and this was something we were working on and I honestly was getting better but I feel like she didn't see that. I was also struggling to find a job and I got more and more depressed, and in the last month of our relationship, I let myself go completely. I was in a hole and I just needed support, support like I always gave her. She started to argue more but I shut down when I feel like I'm being attacked (it's childhood trauma I'm working with a therapist now). I now see I could have handled it better, but at the same time I told her about this and at times she talked to me about it instead of fighting and it helped. I'm painting myself in a bad light here. She also had her problems, like she would nap a lot and I'd have to deal with the kids, or she would also shut down, especially when her PTSD kicked in. But I never minded. I knew who she was and I fully accepted her for it, and I understand people aren't perfect. But the love we had and the good times we created heavily outweighed the bad.
The night we broke up was the worst night of my life. The day started off so well. We were the amazing loving couple we always were. She and the 2 kids were play fighting and she was egging me on to join, so in a joking fashion I told her no and told my son to go beat her up for me. He took it too far and hit her too hard (he's only 5 at the time). She then out of nowhere hit me across the face and I didn't know what to do. I shut down. I calmly got the kids to bed and just shut down. She was begging and pleading for me to talk to her and I just ignored her like the child I am. The sweetest, most loving girl I've ever known and I ignored her. She left the house in the dark in her pyjamas and I couldn't stop her. I had this battle in my head that wouldn't let me.
She came back an hour later with no emotion. She wanted me and my son out. I tried and tried to talk to her but she wasn't there anymore. Everyone hated me and I couldn't understand why. I know I had a few issues but doesn't everyone? It was our first big fight and all of a sudden I'm manipulative and a narcissist. All I could do was apologize. It got to the point I was saying sorry for things that I didn't do. I was lost and confused. She kissed me before I left and that only made it worse. Me and my son were homeless and living on my mom's couch. I tried talking to her but she got nasty, started with the name calling and belittling, pointing out all my flaws. I didn't know what to do. I just kept apologizing and telling her I loved her and I'd be better. I was losing my mind. She was the best thing that ever happened to me and at one point I was to her. I couldn't understand how she could completely do a 180 and hate me to the core. I made all the mistakes. I begged, I pleaded, I even messaged her nan hoping she would understand and help me but it only made it all worse. I sent gifts, I tried reminding her of the good times... Like I said, all the mistakes. I became obsessive (since then I have done a lot of work with my therapist and I had a nervous breakdown due to my abandonment issues and anxiety). I even turned up at her house; granted I did message beforehand because I needed some documents for the next day but she never got the message.
Well, as I'm sure you can all guess what happened next. She rang the police and I was blocked on everything. I did stop messaging her eventually and only did when I needed to sort out my belongings(admittedly I did mess up now and again but no one is perfect), and at one point we talked on the phone. She told me she didn't know if she wanted to involve the police anymore (gave me false hope). We talked a little; turned out she needed some money so I sent her some. Then it was back to her being cold and evil... She made reports to child services (I've been cleared of them). She reported me for having firearms... They were airsoft guns :/ and she knows this. She's been talking about me behind my back and making me this monster that ruined her life when it was I that lost everything. Even one of her friends came forward and told me all the nasty things she's been saying and all my insecurities she's been mocking me about.
I got to a dark place. I had nothing. It was 3 weeks into the breakup and I snapped. It all got too much. I felt like I failed everyone and I had nothing left to live for. I tried taking my own life. The only person I told was my child's mum so she could come get him.
News got to my ex and she took it as an attack on her. She somehow made it about her. This only made her more vindictive, calling me a narcissist and manipulative yet again. This fucked me up more. For weeks all I could do was research narcissism. Even after my therapist said I wasn't a narcissist, I was still unsure.
I finally got a truck sorted to get my stuff from her, and there was a lot missing so I had to go into the house to sort it. I even made her laugh at some point (bad idea... made her hate me more somehow). But when I was leaving, she turned yet again (I now know it's because I was in front of the ring camera and she wanted me to react to her abuse to further paint me as the bad guy). She laughed in my face and called me pathetic for trying to end it... It destroyed me. She also said if she didn't hit me she would have hit my son, then called me a pussy for not hitting her back.
Do I deserve all this? I know I wasn't a perfect, I'm trying to at least better myself. I fucked up by bugging her for sure but is this level of revenge justified? She's ruined my life. My mental health has never been so bad. I don't feel like this is normal. But then again, I've never loved like this and definitely never felt a heartbreak like this. It's nearly been 3 months now and I still blame myself for everything. I feel like a monster. I've not bothered checking up on her and I'm trying my best to move on She still hates me and from what I heard and the smear campaign is still going strong.
I miss the sweet adorable good girl I used to have, I miss the funny out going person I used to be and I miss the family we had, I'd do anything to have that back but her actions are telling me it's never going to happen and maybe that's for the best I just wish I could stop crying everytime I think of her I wish I could fix this I wish I was better for her but I'm broken.
Will she allways hate me? Is this all my fault? And will this pain ever go because I'm struggling I don't know how much longer I can do this, the one woman I ever fully loved with all my heart hating me over a mistake is weighing heavy on me, maybe one day she will understand that it's not just her with mental health issues and I was only trying my best but I'm not holding out hope.
If you ever read this A Im truly do love you with everything I have and I know you must be hurting too, I'm sorry I did this to you, I'm sorry I couldn't be better, I let my trauma get the better off me and ill never forgive my self for losing the love of my life, I know I made you happy and hopefully in the future I'll get the chance to make you happy again.

I have a feeling this is going to be a massively downvoted post that has a lot of comments reacting with what I will politely call pure vitriol.
But yeah. Kind of... Nothing more to say. The question says it all. I am an old lady who likes anime that tend to revolve themselves around one character. Even if there's a colorful cast of characters around them, I like having one character that I can point as being "the guy" and calling the anime "their story", with every narrative thread or every other character's development somehow being meant to be tied back into a main character. Whether it's a neutral development protagonist who acts purely as a foil to other characters, like Son Goku from Dragon Ball, or Naruto Uzumaki Talk no Jutsu-ing his enemies because they mirror aspects of himself and talking through to them helps him mature.
Then after years of Ash and Pikachu being the consistent constants of the anime alongside Team Rocket, Goh comes along and the anime pushes the idea that "No no no. Ash isn't your only guy anymore. This guy has his own story that is almost completely disconnected from Ash. Here. Have some episodes with him where Ash doesn't feature at all to prove it". I'm not going to debate whether it was good or bad writing-wise, but if I'm coming to the anime specifically to watch Ash's story, and then there are episodes where he simply does not appear... You see how there's a conflict of interest, right?
Now, Horizons is doing it again. I want to see it as the story of Liko, first and only. While I have a lot, and I mean, a LOT, of pet peeves I could get into, I can't help but feel like in episodes where Roy or Dot or even Friede get the spotlight while Liko's role is minimal, Liko is getting... Upstaged? Like, it's cool that these other characters are getting development, but shouldn't their development be the result of Liko's actions or say something about Liko's personal growth? She's the one I'm coming to see. Not these overbilled extras.
But while I have a funny feeling I'm alone on this, what do you guys think? Should Pokémon go back to a formula where you can point to one character and call them "the guy" and call the anime "their story"? Or do you guys actually like that Pokémon has been trying to take an ensemble approach where there's no singular star?

hi all, today i experienced a last straw at my office when my boss constantly kept yelling at me in front of the entire office for no reason. initially i thought he was trying to be funny, even then i kept apologising. (he kept asking me for an update when i had already sent him and email.) i felt cornered and humiliated as everyone in the office was silent and all eyes were on me while he was yelling. not just this but they all speak marathi knowing very well that i don't understand a word. during every break and the work hours as well i just have to sit while they all laugh talk discuss in marathi. this one time they didn't tell me that the water had stopped working in the washroom. my mom kept saying it's okay and that all work places are equally worse, but after today's incident i walked out and started crying on the road . because honestly no one should tolerate such meaningless hate. i'm strongly considering emailing the HR saying i quit due to hostile environment. everyone around me is saying i should quit as this one opposing opinion is i should stay as the job market is bad. big big dilemma please help me out

Sorry, this is a long read but I feel like I need to vent and maybe be judged for being an idiot. I will try to be as unbiased as possible as I know I'm at fault too.
So I (m30) and my ex (f26) met on Hinge and quickly started playing video games together (Destiny 2, and to this day it's still one of my best memories). We stayed up for so long just talking for hours; we hit it off instantly. This theme carried on until we met. I traveled to her (this will become a pattern), and when I tell you it was love at first sight, I mean it. I just could not stop smiling; she was so perfect in every way. As the relationship progressed, it only got stronger. She helped me open up (we both have broken pasts and trauma to go with it). She helped me become soft and as silly as it may seem, she helped me cry again. I have never felt so safe, secure, loved, seen, and heard by anyone. I truly looked up to her and appreciated her as a person, and I know she felt the same. She told me on many occasions how happy she was, how no one had ever been this good to her. She had a bad past with men, so I took that into consideration and even asked if it was OK to touch her and if she was comfortable during our intimate moments. We honestly were perfect and everyone could see how happy we were. Everything I liked, she liked. If I played a game, she got that game to join me (she even got a PS5 just to play with me). She was my little copycat; she even stole some of my jokes and sayings. We were inseparable; she was my best friend and future wife.
Fast forward to us moving in together about a year into our relationship. I moved everything; I left friends and family and packed everything up to be with her. Things were still amazing and healthy. We both have a child each, so that added to the mix, and honestly, they were a pain now and again, but I can safely say they loved having each other around... when they weren't bickering, and I loved them both. I took her child as my own and loved her; I still do.
We went through a lot together and I was always there to support her, and I think I did a good job of it too. I helped her through all her problems; I was always there to help and be a shoulder to cry on. She told me about her past and how every single one of her exes hurt her in some way from the r-word to abuse and cheating. I made sure I was nothing like them. I respected her in every way possible. I made sure I kissed her, told her how beautiful she was and how lucky I was to have her, how much I loved her. I hyped her up every chance I got. I made it my mission to make her feel confident again, and it worked. She finally saw what I did, but let's focus on the issues because every relationship has them. We both got sloppy. I have ADHD and she has her own personal issues, and we let the house get on top of us now and again. She definitely cleaned more than me and I never took the initiative, but when I cleaned, oh boy did I clean, and this was something we were working on and I honestly was getting better but I feel like she didn't see that. I was also struggling to find a job and I got more and more depressed, and in the last month of our relationship, I let myself go completely. I was in a hole and I just needed support, support like I always gave her. She started to argue more but I shut down when I feel like I'm being attacked (it's childhood trauma I'm working with a therapist now). I now see I could have handled it better, but at the same time I told her about this and at times she talked to me about it instead of fighting and it helped. I'm painting myself in a bad light here. She also had her problems, like she would nap a lot and I'd have to deal with the kids, or she would also shut down, especially when her PTSD kicked in. But I never minded. I knew who she was and I fully accepted her for it, and I understand people aren't perfect. But the love we had and the good times we created heavily outweighed the bad.
The night we broke up was the worst night of my life. The day started off so well. We were the amazing loving couple we always were. She and the 2 kids were play fighting and she was egging me on to join, so in a joking fashion I told her no and told my son to go beat her up for me. He took it too far and hit her too hard (he's only 5 at the time). She then out of nowhere hit me across the face and I didn't know what to do. I shut down. I calmly got the kids to bed and just shut down. She was begging and pleading for me to talk to her and I just ignored her like the child I am. The sweetest, most loving girl I've ever known and I ignored her. She left the house in the dark in her pyjamas and I couldn't stop her. I had this battle in my head that wouldn't let me.
She came back an hour later with no emotion. She wanted me and my son out. I tried and tried to talk to her but she wasn't there anymore. Everyone hated me and I couldn't understand why. I know I had a few issues but doesn't everyone? It was our first big fight and all of a sudden I'm manipulative and a narcissist. All I could do was apologize. It got to the point I was saying sorry for things that I didn't do. I was lost and confused. She kissed me before I left and that only made it worse. Me and my son were homeless and living on my mom's couch. I tried talking to her but she got nasty, started with the name calling and belittling, pointing out all my flaws. I didn't know what to do. I just kept apologizing and telling her I loved her and I'd be better. I was losing my mind. She was the best thing that ever happened to me and at one point I was to her. I couldn't understand how she could completely do a 180 and hate me to the core. I made all the mistakes. I begged, I pleaded, I even messaged her nan hoping she would understand and help me but it only made it all worse. I sent gifts, I tried reminding her of the good times... Like I said, all the mistakes. I became obsessive (since then I have done a lot of work with my therapist and I had a nervous breakdown due to my abandonment issues and anxiety). I even turned up at her house; granted I did message beforehand because I needed some documents for the next day but she never got the message.
Well, as I'm sure you can all guess what happened next. She rang the police and I was blocked on everything. I did stop messaging her eventually and only did when I needed to sort out my belongings(admittedly I did mess up now and again but no one is perfect), and at one point we talked on the phone. She told me she didn't know if she wanted to involve the police anymore (gave me false hope). We talked a little; turned out she needed some money so I sent her some. Then it was back to her being cold and evil... She made reports to child services (I've been cleared of them). She reported me for having firearms... They were airsoft guns :/ and she knows this. She's been talking about me behind my back and making me this monster that ruined her life when it was I that lost everything. Even one of her friends came forward and told me all the nasty things she's been saying and all my insecurities she's been mocking me about.
I got to a dark place. I had nothing. It was 3 weeks into the breakup and I snapped. It all got too much. I felt like I failed everyone and I had nothing left to live for. I tried taking my own life. The only person I told was my child's mum so she could come get him.
News got to my ex and she took it as an attack on her. She somehow made it about her. This only made her more vindictive, calling me a narcissist and manipulative yet again. This fucked me up more. For weeks all I could do was research narcissism. Even after my therapist said I wasn't a narcissist, I was still unsure.
I finally got a truck sorted to get my stuff from her, and there was a lot missing so I had to go into the house to sort it. I even made her laugh at some point (bad idea... made her hate me more somehow). But when I was leaving, she turned yet again (I now know it's because I was in front of the ring camera and she wanted me to react to her abuse to further paint me as the bad guy). She laughed in my face and called me pathetic for trying to end it... It destroyed me. She also said if she didn't hit me she would have hit my son, then called me a pussy for not hitting her back.
Do I deserve all this? I know I wasn't a perfect, I'm trying to at least better myself. I fucked up by bugging her for sure but is this level of revenge justified? She's ruined my life. My mental health has never been so bad. I don't feel like this is normal. But then again, I've never loved like this and definitely never felt a heartbreak like this. It's nearly been 3 months now and I still blame myself for everything. I feel like a monster. I've not bothered checking up on her and I'm trying my best to move on She still hates me and from what I heard and the smear campaign is still going strong.
I miss the sweet adorable good girl I used to have, I miss the funny out going person I used to be and I miss the family we had, I'd do anything to have that back but her actions are telling me it's never going to happen and maybe that's for the best I just wish I could stop crying everytime I think of her I wish I could fix this I wish I was better for her but I'm broken.
Will she allways hate me? Is this all my fault? And will this pain ever go because I'm struggling I don't know how much longer I can do this, the one woman I ever fully loved with all my heart hating me over a mistake is weighing heavy on me, maybe one day she will understand that it's not just her with mental health issues and I was only trying my best but I'm not holding out hope.
If you ever read this A Im truly do love you with everything I have and I know you must be hurting too, I'm sorry I did this to you, I'm sorry I couldn't be better, I let my trauma get the better off me and ill never forgive my self for losing the love of my life, I know I made you happy and hopefully in the future I'll get the chance to make you happy again.

One of the fascinating aspects of outsider reports and analysis is what they see. Given that at this point (1992) the internet was not yet widely available/accessible, this sort of thing would have been difficult to find. And of course SGI wasn't ever going to tell us the truth!
This will show you that SGI-USA (then called "NSA") was failing in recruiting far earlier than perhaps most of us in the US realized. SGI in the USA was basically a flash in the pan; it fizzled fast; and now it's just that rank stale smoke smell that lingers long after the fire's been put out.
This comes from Cults and Nonconventional Religious Groups: A Collection of Outstanding Dissertations and Monographs, "Nichiren Shoshu Buddhism and the Soka Gakkai in America: The Ethos of a New Religious Movement", Jane Hurst, 1992, pp. 150-151. Jane Hurst has some interesting research out there; while she tends toward being uncritically supportive of SGI, anyone who is making statistics available is a big help.

NSA members in the 1960s and 1970s were young (52% below age 30), more than half female (59%), and from a variety of occupations and social classes.

The Baby Boom generation were at most age 19 in, say, 1965 and at most age 24 in 1970.
This youthfulness is largely reflected in the early organization's origins in the American servicemen who returned from being stationed in Japan with their Japanese war-brides - those servicemen tended to be young and from a variety of ethnicities and backgrounds, as the draft was still in effect during that time period (ended March 1975). In addition, the first General Director of the US organization, Masayasu Sadanaga, initially targeted college campuses for recruitment by offering lectures on Buddhism. Sadanaga changed his name to George M. Williams in 1972, in obedience to the (short-lived) direction back then of Japanese leaders adopting American-sounding names (first AND last) in order to appeal more broadly to non-Japanese Americans.

The percentage of Oriental members steadily decreased as more and more white and black Americans joined NSA as seen in Figure 10, above.

Figure 10 (I'll get to that line in another post.)
Most of the original "Oriental members" were those Japanese war-brides, whose first efforts to recruit new SGI members were directed toward other Japanese individuals.

NSA members came from the major religious traditions of Protestantism (30%), Catholicism (30%), and Judaism (6%). At the time these 1971 statistics were compiled, all areas of American society. By 1983, the age span was even more broad, with 11% of the members age 50 and above, 62% ages 30-49, 24% ages 20-29, and 3% below age 19.

For reference, here are the age ranges for the existing generations in 1983:

Greatest: Ages 59-82
Silent: Ages 38-58
Baby Boomers: Ages 19-37
Generation X: Ages 4-18
Generation Y (Millennials): Age 3 or younger.

While these 1983 statistics aren't broken down by generation, here's what is clear:

11% of the SGI-USA membership was MUCH OLDER than Baby Boomers
62% was either Baby Boom generation or older (though younger than that oldest group)
24% was Baby Boomers
3% was younger than Baby Boomers.

This means that 97% of the membership of SGI-USA was Baby Boom generation OR OLDER!

IN 1983!!

Notice how this affirms the demographic estimate from this other research: "Soka Gakkai in America": Little appeal/interest outside of Baby Boom generation

Take a look at Table 4.
Specifically, the Age cohort (%) category.
For the Converts, 26% are older than Baby Boomers; 61% are Baby Boomers. That makes 87% Boomer and older. Only 14% are younger than Boomers.
No wonder SGI-USA is aging and dying, with these kinds of numbers!
We are seeing, like, 90% Baby Boomers in the group photos we've looked at.
The pictures back this up.
Also, this comment by an SGI-USA leader a few years ago during Minoru Harada's visit (anyone know what year that was?):

They [top SGI-USA leaders] then went off on how when we create these big-ass meetings, we shouldn't have to look into the crowd and see, and I quote, "A bunch of old-ass motherfuckers" The words of my "superiors", not mine. I think this is when they brought up the idea of 50K to my co-leaders and me. Source

"Old-ass motherfuckers" is all they have. How 'bout showing a little of that appreciation and gratitude SGI bangs on about??
Worse, "old-ass motherfuckers" is all SGI-USA can get.
Further, again referring to Table 4, SGI-USA's membership is solidly 2/3 women. That means it's going to be very difficult for women in SGI-USA to find mates to marry, which means childlessness will be more of a norm than an exception. Child-free is a valid and respect-worthy decision, don't get me wrong, but a religion's most reliable source of younger members is its own membership's children. Since SGI-USA's female members don't feel any responsibility or obligation to bear multiple children (like those poor, stupid Mormon sheepwomen do), there won't be any next generation to take over.
There's a reason so many religions have traditionally exhorted their membership to have lots of babies, why they condemn birth control and abortion. A big part of it is to keep their own numbers up! Source

It's the same problem happening in Japan within the Soka Gakkai:

On the other hand, aging is relentless. In terms of the Soka Gakkai's membership demographics, the "volume zone" where most members fall is the baby boomer generation who joined by the 1960s. They are now late elderly. In the past, the management of centers in various places was handled by the "Gajokai" consisting of Young Men's Division members, but it is no longer possible to secure personnel. Instead, in 2009, the Soka Gakkai launched the "Ojokai'' consisting of "middle-aged divisions,'' scolding them as "young people in their 50s'' and rushing to mobilize them. Source

GOOD LUCK!

For perspective, note that SGI-USA was managing to recruit just "1,000 per YEAR" - including all ages - between 1991 and 1999. Eight years of only 1,000 members added per year, with no accounting for the deaths or defections. Were the years after that more successful, recruiting-wise? I doubt it.

[Then-SGI-USA's public-relations director for the East Coast Bill] Aiken says SGI-USA has attracted about 1000 new members per year for the past eight years. - from 1999. Only 1,000 new members - across the ENTIRE 360+ million-person strong USA - in an ENTIRE year. And this extremely low level of success for EIGHT YEARS IN A ROW!! Source

From 2018:

In recent years, the number of young Soka Gakkai members has been decreasing rapidly . Looking at the participants in the simultaneous broadcasts and roundtable discussions, the majority are of the grandparents' generation, with only a small number of young people in their 20s and 30s, and the number of teenage boys and girls is almost an endangered species .
Therefore, what I am interested in is the population of Soka Gakkai by age group. This time, I would like to estimate the current population of Soka Gakkai by age , based on information I have personally seen and heard and verification from others . Please note that this estimate is very rough.
First, the largest number of Soka Gakkai members are baby boomers (born between 1947 and 1949 [Japan's Baby Boom]). This seems almost certain considering the history of the development of Soka Gakkai .
Also, the total number of members has already been verified by many people, and is estimated to be around 3 to 5 million people. This time we assume about 4 million people .
And this is what I heard directly from a staff member at headquarters last year, who said , `` The number of activists decreases by about 1/3 with each generation.'' I think this is a reasonable rate of decline that can be felt by looking at participants in simultaneous broadcasts and roundtable discussions. It seems that members who have stopped being activists are less likely to have their children join, so this time we will use a value of 1/3 per generation as the member decline rate .
Also, regarding the number of years it takes for generational change, the average age for men and women to give birth to their first child is currently 30 years old. Considering that the average age of childbearing for both men and women when the baby boomer generation was born was 24 years old, and that there are cases where not only the first child but also the second and third children are born, the generational shift will take 30 years. Let's calculate it as if it would take a year . In that case, the annual membership attrition rate would be (1/3)^1/30 = 0.964, or 3.6% .
It is unclear when this trend of declining membership started, but this time we will assume that it started in the year following the baby boom generation (1950). Source

And "Soka Gakkai is like an old people's club":

Regarding the problem of a decline in Komeito votes, or in other words, a decline in active Soka Gakkai members, many people concerned point out that the primary cause is the aging of Soka Gakkai members. The enthusiastic members of the generation who supported the growth of the society along with charismatic Honorary President Daisaku Ikeda are now elderly across the board. Most of the current new members are second- or third-generation members who join because their parents are members of Soka Gakkai, and they are not very enthusiastic about Soka Gakkai's activities. Today, many of Soka Gakkai's daily events are even derided by insiders as "like an old people's party."

And a more recent report (this year):

Back about 20 years ago a good friend and good guy, now deceased, from ChiTown, was commissioned by SGI Central Command to survey every contactable member of SGI in every district in America. The number he came up with was 5% of the number of Gohonzon passed out since, I guess whenever Gohonzon started to be passed out. The total number was about a million give or take, 20 years ago. These were contactable people, not practicing members. I remember going through lists of people we had on the books and trying to see if they could be reached. So the number we came up with was reported. Hearing nothing about it, I happened to run into my friend at some event at Soka U. He mentioned that he did the survey, and gave me the results. I believe he told me the facts. (Not everyone who practiced was a lying asshole.) So about 20 years ago SGI had about 50,000 “contactable“ people who had received Gohonzon. My estimate that about half of that number had zero interest in SGI. Thus 20 years ago, SGI had about 25,000 members still interested in SGI in some capacity. I think it’s the same number today. (2500 districts x 10=25,000.) Like I said before I went to FNCC twice last year, and everyone, including me, were old zany seniors. Neither conference was for old people. Conclusion: SGI is a senior citizen support group. When I joined in1969, we were all hippie ish, rejecting all the old shit, looking for something new and hip. Now SGI looks like old shit. Source

And another (this year or last):

When I joined 50+ years ago the ratio of youth to MD and WD was about 80:20. Now it's the reverse. Our goal is to move steadily back to a youth focus again. Source

Except it's obvious that SGI-USA doesn't HAVE "20% youth":

Youth? They've got to be fooling themselves!!! When I was still with the SGI last February (2023), I went to the kosen-rufu gongyo meeting at the center in my area. Mind you, the state I live in closed its center in 2021 for undisclosed reasons. That aside, the one I went to was in another state, and at that meeting, they had no byakuren, Gajokai, or Soka Group in attendance. Additionally, the only youth at the meeting were a few small children. Source
I feel that SGI is out of touch with anyone who’s younger than 60. The leaders are retired, have a lot of time on their hands and completely disregard the fact that people may work or have families. For young people it’s the old people taking nonsense. Source

The PROBLEM was already evident in 1983 - and none of the SGI-USA's big "Recruit-Youth-A-Thons", like "Victory over Violence" and "Rock The ~~Ego~~ Era" and "50K Liars of Just-Us" (everybody wants to forget the epic fail that was the "Gandhi, King, Ikeda" exhibit), has made the slightest difference in this demographic disaster. In fact, preparing for the 2018 "50K" event, SGI-USA likely had only 2,451 members in the 12-35 (or perhaps 11-39) age group, just 9% of the most generous SGI-USA active membership total (~30,000).

Ikeda could have preserved a "youthful" Soka Gakkai by passing the Presidency to a younger candidate, but Ikeda refused, because Ikeda was too focused on and obsessed with HIMSELF - his power, his prestige, his wealth, his status, his fame, his renown, HIM becoming leader of the world, his PERMANENCY, and his legacy. He refused to let anyone else come anywhere CLOSE to the power and control - he greedily, selfishly clutched it all tightly to himself and refused to share.
THAT is why the Ikeda cult Soka Gakkai/SGI is aging and dying. It's ALL Ikeda's fault, Ikeda's responsibility. IKEDA DID THAT.
Some "mentor". Source

SGI-USA has never managed to recover from that demographic bottleneck that happened no later than 1983.

This past weekend was a lazy weekend due to mothers day. We for the most part stayed at home (wife, daughter, and I) When I'm at home I wear for the most part graphic T shirts and when I'm out in public I prefer different clothing. Most of my graphic T's are video game related with some DBZ, religion, and political ones splashed in. On Saturday I was wearing my funny religious shirt. It a that has a sayings for different religions with shit happens mixed in.
For instance:
Catholicism - Shit happens because you're bad
TV Evangelism - Send more shit
Jehova's Witness - Knock Knock, shit happens
Rastafarianism - Lets smoke this shit
My wife's sister and family showed up unannounced. Just like normal I was happy to see them and let them in the house. I had gone to use the bathroom and before I got out of the room my wife asked me to change my shirt. I asked why and she said my shirt is making her sister and husband uncomfortable because of the funny quotes for the different religions. I told my wife that is their problem not mine and I wont be changing my shirt, I'm in my home and they can deal with it. I don't tell them what to wear in their home and if it was something I didn't like I would just be a grownup and deal with it. After company leaves my wife gets mad at me and said I should have just changed my shirt to be nice.

henlo, the title says it all. really want to make some new connections since i don’t have that much of friends (as a girlie who’s currently lost? char,,imma go insane acck) :p so if ur down, let’s be friends! ≽^{•⩊•^≼} open for all! :)
ab me: my mood depends on my social battery, i tend to yap a lot if my energy is high. quite funny¿ (daw)——actually just hmu and let’s see if we vibe 💀
ps. i would appreciate if there’s some intro (not necessarily long… just enough introduction so i can know if we vibe huhu (iykwim) ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱
ᯓ★ strictly wholesome. see u in my dms! જ⁀➴
(don’t hesitate to message me again if u did. sometimes i just can’t see them all)

So I’ve realized recently that I’m different from most people in my life in that when someone is talking to me—whether it’s short and sweet or a flat-out minutes-long rant—I make a point to listen to every word. Even if I do get distracted by something else (if I’m tired or driving or trying to multitask) I will politely stop them and ask them to repeat the last sentence because I need the context going forward. Even if I’m exhausted, I want to hear every word they’re saying to me.
Well, I’ve come to realize over the years that most people do not do this, though I thought naively it was a universal human thing. I love my boyfriend, but it truly feels like he is not listening half the time I’m talking. My mom is the same way, as is my brother and my coworkers. The only person in my life I feel really listens when I’m talking is my dad, who is also an INFP. He is elderly now and unfortunately has really terrible hearing even with hearing aids, but he still tries to listen the best he can.
Idk if this makes sense, so I’ll give an example. Yesterday I was talking to my boyfriend in the car about something funny that had happened at work the day before. He was driving and the person in front of him was annoying him by going too slow or something, and I could just feel it in my gut that he’d stopped listening entirely and started focusing on his irritation. So I just stopped talking mid-sentence to see if he’d notice. Well, guess what! He didn’t. After a few seconds of silence, I asked if he’d been listening to me. He said yes, and I was like, really? What was the last thing I said? Turns out he’d stopped listening before I’d even started talking about the work thing. The same thing has happened regularly countless times with him, whether driving or at home.
This happens constantly, with so many different people I know are otherwise well-meaning. Do other people really just tune out the person who’s talking directly to them all the time? I don’t think it’s necessarily intentional on their part, but why can’t they just say they’re not in the right headspace for conversation? I’d honestly prefer that over the dreadful realization that all the things I’ve just spoken from my heart were not even heard at all. It’s like a little daily heartbreak I feel like we all endure, and no one ever acknowledges it.
Any thoughts?

Good Afternoon Everyone,
After reading posts here about people wanting to start their own marketing agency and other people telling them its not worth it. I started my company 4 months ago. We initially got 2 clients and were working on building a website for them. Then Google & apple business profiles and then eventually running ads for them for 26 locations. Its funny our first 4 clients had websites before we even had our own. Our nice is small businesses, because small businesses dont have the budget to pay huge marketing companies big money but for a much lower price they pay me and my co-founder a smaller monthly fee.
Our initial fee is around 1000 and then 500-800 per month. We are now at 6 clients within 4 months and finally got our own website up. We do website design, google ads , social media ads , google and and apple maps business profiles , and local SEO.
I see a lot of people on reddit say that its hard to bring in clients but once you get 2-3 and do very good you will naturally get more through referrals. Im happy to answer any questions for anyone!

I’ve been with my GF for almost 6 months now, and she’s a great person, I think she’s very beautiful, funny, affectionate, ambitious and just an all around great person.
Thing is our conversations don’t flow at all. We have very long periods of silence and when we do talk it’s really quick conversations and that just end very quick. I know it’s causing a strain in our relationship. It’s upsetting both her and myself. She’s already mentioned that I’m too quiet, shy or don’t make conversation..but the thing is my conversation with everyone else flow just fine and I’m super talkative. With her I literally have times when I can’t think of anything to say.
I don’t know if there’s a solution to this. I’m thinking of just ending it before it start getting worse and it start causing more problems. I would want to fix it but idk if we’re just gonna be stuck in a relationship in which we’re constantly trying to fix basic things.
It’s heartbreaking either way.

The title of the previous Bankedex has been making people think it only contained offers for NI. So here it is again, with all the current offers and with a more generic title. There are currently 5 active bank switch offers (and only one is specific to Northern Ireland!).
*****************
Here is the the ultimate guide to UK bank switch offers - the collective knowledge of ~140k BeermoneyUK members. Switch your bank account, get a cash reward for doing so. But don't switch your main account, open up a second account and switch that to get the money!

Updated 15/05/2024:

The most commonly asked bank switch questions:

I started to switch to XXX bank before the offer ended, am I still eligible for the bonus?

Yes, usually, most terms will state that a switch just has to be started (or applied for) before the end date or before an offer ends.

Do I have to transfer the required amount in all in one go, and does it matter if I pay money in before my switch is complete?

No and not usually, as long as the amount you pay in adds up to the required amount, and as long as you pay it in before the deadline stated in the terms. There has been one exception to this - Co-op - so check individual terms.

I need to switch "active" direct debits, does a payment need to have been taken before I switch?

According to Nationwide, an active direct debit is one that has been set up or had a payment taken from it in the past 13 months. So no, according to this. But why not just wait for the direct debit to be taken? You'll not have to worry about it then.

https://twitter.com/AskNationwide/status/1442939781491486720

How do I set up and switch an additional Chase current account?
- See Chase instruction here to open an additional account.
- The second account will be linked to the same card as your main Chase account.
- Use the secondary account details and your original card details when switching.
What are the easiest/best direct debits to use for bank switching?

There are many: Paypal, Ebay, Moneybox savings account, Plum savings account, your credit card, Sprive Mortgage auto savings, Wealthify Robo Saving. We recommend ones that save money into an account in your own name. Here’s useful ones that have additional bonuses available via beermoneyuk

Site/App	Offer	Comment
Park Christmas (Search)	Save for Christmas via direct debit
Plum (Search)	A very useful direct debit	Easy and fast to set up
Sprive (Search)	Autosavings for mortgage overpayment direct debit (£5 bonus)	Easy and fast to set up
Wealthify (Search)	A very useful direct debit (£1/month min)	Easy and fast to set up

Questions about Bank Switching should generally be asked here. Posts on the subreddit asking questions about bank switching will probably be removed.

As always with the Bankedex, we need your help.

The post has been updated with the newest offers, and tips commented in the previous Bankedex posts, and those in other posts on beermoneyuk. But it is a difficult task keeping on top of all the questions. Please continue to share your experience with Bank Bribes. I will add questions/answers to this post. Your help is much appreciated - thanks to you all.

Current bank switch offers (£551 in total)

Bank	Bonus	Offer Deadline	Comment
Barclays	31k Avios for £48 spend	None	£100 profit, Requires premier banking
First Direct	£175 to switch	None
Danske Bank	£175 to switch		Northern Ireland only
Santander	£175 to switch	None	£15 extra available
Virgin Money	£100 to switch	31/05/2024	10% gross interest rates boost to 12% on £1k for 1 year (~£120 total) + extra £30 via Snoop

No switch, just sign up bank switch offers

Bank	Offer	Comment
Tide (click for details)	Spend £100, get £75 cashback	A beermoneyuk staple
Monzo (click to search)	Spend £1, get £5 or £50	£50 is for a business account
Starling (click to search)	Free National Trust Day Pass

Never switched a bank account before?

You should consider it. It is one of the easiest and most efficient ways of earning a little beermoney. It is advised to leave your main bank account alone. Instead, switch a secondary bank account, or open a new account at your current bank to be used just for switching. Recommended steps:

Open a second current account with your main high street bank (must be part of CASS service)
Set up direct debits on the second account (if required).
Add £1 to your second account. This will be transferred to your new account, allowing you to see when the switch has been completed.
Apply for a new account and arrange to switch to your second bank account (sometimes this is during the application process, other times it is after the account is opened).
Let the current account switch service take care of everything.
Make sure all other terms are met (e.g. pay in money if needed).
Receive your bank switching bonus.

You will hear about lots of people rushing through all of the switch bonuses available. These offers have been coming and going for years, my advice is to do an offer that tickles your fancy and try out a new bank. Then, if you decide you do not like your new bank you should sample another bank and get paid again!

Are there some bank accounts worth keeping?

Why yes. Some are quite good, and give ongoing rewards. For example, Club Lloyds gives free Disney Plus. See the "don't leave us please" bank rewards post. Some also give access to the best savings accounts (e.g. regular savers).

Detailed switch offer information

Whilst we do our best to make sure things are correct, sometimes errors do slip through. Always do your own research. Also, it may not be possible to work through all of these.

Barclays

Current offer: 31k Avios for full switch to Premier Banking, and paying £12/month for “Avios Rewards” for 4 months - works out around £100 profit when converted to Nectar points.

Direct link to offer (scroll down)

You must switch to Premier Bank account.

These are premium accounts, supposed to be for those with £70k+ salaries. However, cycling £4201 each month also appears to do the job

Offer end date: None listed
Requirements:

Open a Barclays Premier bank account & join Avios Rewards (£12/month fee), or

Complete a full switch from a different bank (you do this from within the app, after opening the account).

Reward payable by: 1.5k Avios each month for Avios Rewards, 25k Avios paid in month 4 for the switch.
Available to existing customers: No.
Additional notes: it can be worth doing the Barclaycard Avios Plus offer at the same time, as you will get a discount on the credit card fee.

Danske Bank

Current offer: £200 for full switch

Direct link to Danske Bank offer

You can switch to their Danske Reward, Danske Choice or Danske Freedom current account.

Offer end date: No end date given, may be removed at any time.
Requirements:

Full switch (no direct debits mentioned).

After opening account, pay in £1000 within 60 days (can be multiple deposits)

You cannot have had a Danske Bank reward since 01/01/2024

Available to existing customers: only if you are a new personal current account customer. .
How long does it take to pay the bonus: paid within 10 days of meeting requirements.

First Direct

Current offer: £175 when you switch

Direct link to First Direct offer

You can switch to their First account.

Offer end date: No end date given, may be removed at any time.
Requirements:

Full switch (two direct debits or standing orders are required).

After opening account, log in to mobile banking, pay in £1000, and make 5 debit card payments within 30 days.

You cannot have had a 1st Direct account before.

You cannot switch if you have an HSBC account opened after 01/2020

How to do it: Once your first direct account is open, simply log into your first direct app, select the account you wish to transfer into, tap ‘switch to us’ from your account menu and follow the instructions.
Available to existing customers: No. Also can't have had a HSBC account opened since January 2018.
How long does it take to pay the bonus: paid by the 20th of the month following that in which you met all of the criteria.

Santander

Extra £15: You can get an extra £15 by signing up to a Santander Edge account via Topcashback. If you don't have a Topcashback account, you can sign up here:

Topcashback sign up

Current offer: £175

Direct link to offer
You can switch to any of these paid current accounts: Santander Edge current account, Edge Up, or the Private Current Account

Offer end date: None given
Requirements: Full switch.

Apply to switch when you apply to open the account (or existing customers can just switch into an existing qualifying current account).

Complete switch of a non-Santander account, set up 2 active direct debits, and pay in £1500 within 60 days of applying/telling Santander you want to switch. Must keep direct debits active on account

Cannot have had a Santander-group bonus previously (Santander, Cahoot, Cater Allen)

Reward payable by: between 60 and 90 days after opening the account.
Available to existing customers: Yes (can switch a non-Santander group current account into a new or existing Santander account). Existing customers may need to visit a branch.

Virgin Money

Current offer: Extra 10% interest on £1k for a year (~£100 bonus)
Extra £30: You can get an extra £30 by signing up to Virgin via Snoop (you need to connect your Virgin account to Snoop). If you don't have a Snoop account, you can sign up here for an additional fiver too:

Snoop £5 sign up bonus
Direct link to Virgin Money offer

You can switch to their M Account (free, ~10% interest total, gross), M Plus Account (free account, ~12% interest total) or Club M Account (costs £12.50/month for insurance and stuff, ~12% total, is one of the best value package accounts - especially if a joint account)

Offer end date: apply by 31/05/24
Requirements:

Full switch (two direct debits required as part of the switch).

Available to existing customers: No. And can't have closed an account since 30/04/2024
How long does it take to pay the bonus: interest is paid monthly, so a a year to get it all!

General Bank Switch Questions

Current Account Switch Bribes - Why do they offer them?

They want your business. Banks like fighting each other for customers. Most of them know they can't win by highlighting their outdated systems and products, so they fight each other by offering potential customers cash bribes (or equivalent) to switch their "main" bank account.

Can I switch any bank account to get a bribe?

No. You must switch a bank account that is part of The Current Account Switch Service (CASS). Most high street banks are included. But some Neo Banks are not (e.g., Kroo, Revolut, & Monese are not included). You should try to avoid switching your main bank account. You can always open an additional account just to switch.
See here for a full list of CASS banks.

Is it too much hassle?

No. The Current Account Switch Service (CASS) makes switching your account between most banks smooth and effortless. You do not have to do anything apart from apply for and set up a new account at a different bank and tell them you want to switch your account to them. Everything is transferred automatically (except recurring card payments).

Is there the best route to sample all the banks with switch offers?

Do the offer ending soonest first. Then you might switch again. If you complete all offers in this post, you could earn yourself >£1000.

Some of these end soon. Will the offers come back?

Banks have been offering bribes on and off for many years. We can't predict the future. But this is not a new thing.

How long does a bank switch take?

Approximately one week.

Do I have to switch my main account?

You could. But you don't have to. Many people have second bank accounts. One option may be to open up a second account with your current high street bank, add some direct debits to this second account and then switch it to the new bank you want to try out. On the sub, people also like Starling or Monzo as they are easy to set up (but you might want to switch back to them at the end - their functionality wins vs any usual high street bank).
High-street banks also let you open multiple accounts. If you already have an account with one, you might want to open an additional one with your current bank first (Halifax, NatWest etc are reported to allow several current accounts and to be fast to open).

I have savings accounts at the same bank as my current account. Can I still switch to this current account?

Yes. Only the current account will be closed (some linked regular savers may be converted to normal savings accounts). You might want to consider if switching to a secondary account is a better option.

I have linked savers attached to my current account. Can I still switch it?

Possibly.

Which banks let me open a second bank account?

Most of them.

Do I need to activate the card on the account I am going to switch?

Just do it anyway. Some banks require it

What details do I need to switch?

Sort code and account number.

Debit card information.

Usually, but not always, 2 active DDs on the account you are switching.

Do you need to have money in the account you are switching?

No. But it might be a good idea - this will allow you to see when the switch happens (i.e. when the money is transferred!).

I do not have a bank card with my old current account as it is very very old, can I still switch it?

Most online forms require card details, but you can usually switch such accounts over the phone.

My new bank has not given me my account number (e.g. NatWest).

Usually, these are sent via post/email when you sign up. But some banks don't have the account numbers on the card, or maybe letters get lost in the post. If this happens, wait for the card to arrive and contact their support. If you get a bot on the chat thing, type "speak to a human" repeatedly.

My new bank account is a premium account and it has a fee. Do I need to keep paying for this?

No. You can downgrade the account. But you should probably wait until you have been paid the bonus.

I don't like my new bank, do I need to wait for the bank card before switching again?

Yes. See question above. Most banks require the card details of your existing account.

I made an account just to switch. Can I switch before my new bank card arrives?

Best not to. You are asked to enter the debit card information as part of the process.

The offer says I have to pay in £xxxx. Does it have to be in one go?

No. You can transfer in and out. The total sent in has to be equal to or greater than the stated amount. You should be careful with this though, sending money in and out of an account can trigger anti-fraud measures.

The offer says I have to pay in £xxxx. Can I pay it in before the switch completes?

Yes. You can pay it before, after, or during. You can manually transfer it, or it can be transferred automatically from your old account.

I've been asked to verify my identity. Is this normal?

Sometimes automated checks fail. If this happens, you may be asked to manually verify your application by visiting a branch or sending in a copy of your ID.

I switched from Monzo/Starling and want to return, can I?

Starling does not let you return within 12 months. With Monzo, it's possibly a shorter one month that you have to wait.

Do I have to switch direct debits?

Check individual offer terms.

What is an "Active" direct debit?

An active direct debit is usually one where a payment had been taken in the last 13 months. But some bank switch terms require direct debits to have been paid out of the account. If an offer requires an active direct debit, it's safer to switch to an account that has already paid out direct debits.**

What are good direct debits to set up on a second account?

There are many: Paypal, Ebay, Moneybox savings account, Plum savings account, your credit card, Sprive Mortgage auto savings, Wealthify Robo Saving.

I recently switched to XXX Bank, and I do not like it. Can I switch again?

Yes. If you are not happy with the new service, you may want to switch to a new bank that will pay you to give them a try.

Do I have to stick with my new bank for any length of time?

No.

If I switch away, will the bank claw back the bonus?

Very unlikely. They would have to specify this in their terms, and none have ever done so.

My switch is complete, but I have not yet received my bonus. Will I still get the bonus if I switch this account before it is paid?

Probably not.

My most recent switch is not quite complete, but I have already received the bonus. Can I start another switch?

You should probably wait for the switch to complete.

Can I get more than one bribe from each bank?

Sometimes. With some banks (e.g. Nationwide), you can get a bonus for switching one sole and one joint current account. Other banks will pay you to switch again, as long as you have not had a bonus in a specified amount of time. You will need to check individual offer terms.

XXX Bank gave me a bonus before, can I get a bonus again?

You need to check the individual offer terms.

Will this affect my credit score?

Credit scores are a funny thing, What is more important is what is actually in your credit file. Obviously, if you apply for an overdraft then it will affect your "credit score". However, if you do not have an overdraft or you make sure that you have paid off any overdraft before switching banks, then a single current account switch should not negatively impact your credit score. Nevertheless, typically all major banks (excepting Monzo and Starling) do a hard credit search, and this will be recorded on your file. If you plan on applying for a new mortgage soon then you may wish to exercise caution in switching between a load of banks. This is because the hard searches performed by banks will appear on your report and may have an effect for 6-12 months.

Which banks do hard searches and which do soft searches??

See here. Most banks do hard searches.

Hard searches: Bank of Scotland (first account only), Barclays, Co-op, Clydesdale, Halifax (1st account only), First Direct, HSBC, Lloyds (1st account only), Monzo, Nationwide, NatWest, RBS, Santander, TSB, Ulster, Virgin Money.

Soft searches: Starling, Metro Bank, and Chase

I have a bad credit score, will I be accepted to XXX bank?

Unfortunately, we do not know the acceptance criteria of the banks. You might be unlucky with one bank, but lucky with another.

My application was rejected. Why?

Nobody here knows. You could try appealing, but your only way to find out more is to contact the bank.

After switching my account, I still have online banking with my old provider. Do I need this?

No. You do not need to keep the online access (you could shut it down). But you may wish to retain these details in case your old bank suddenly appears with an offer that makes you want to switch back. Or open up a savings account.

Has anyone else been paid for switching to XXX Bank yet?

Check the terms of the offer you signed up for. Some banks have long deadlines and stick to them (e.g. Santander, TSB). Some are quicker. If you haven't been paid within the stated terms, then you should contact the bank's support.

i just need someone to read this since i'm a coward who will never speak up
you say suggestively romantic things, (some of it too direct tho) and you have no intention of turning these words a loving feeling that goes beyond our friendship? do you want me to think that too? do you really love me or not? do you really fawn on me all day then call me best friend? do you mention attractive things you like about me just as a good friend? do you want to write a poem just to impress me? really? impress? i want your feelings.... damn... does these words mean something to you? do you even know how you feel about me? I actually hope you never answer me. I don't wanna know, I wanted to. It's also not like I have the power to make you open up your about what you think is right to say or do just because i want. at the end of the day i'm selfish, right? i'm sorry, but this frustration makes me bleed inside, it's always like this.
all good! It's not the end of the world for you at least, you won't and shouldn't miss me. you're kind, funny, humorous and affectionate. there will never be a lack of opportunities to have someone who likes you like that and it's not like i'm unique, i'm actually quite generic, i bet you'll find someone cooler without even trying hahah but still, I love you.

Hello SPTarkov community! First, I just want to say I have already received a TON of help just by reading posts, it's how I learned to install any of this stuff, and I am really appreciative.
I am looking to dial in my experience a bit more so I will describe that a bit and then list all the mods I am currently working with.
The experience I'm looking for is a bit more like (and just hear me out ok I will explain) Stalker Gamma - in that there are long bits of dreary nothing, then intense firefights, then tense and tactical return to dreary, then maybe running into comrades and maybe teaming up, then tense moments of entering an incredibly hostile area.
The mods I have right now, as a PMC, just seem like every single AI on the map is a hunter killer whose sole mission is to end my life. I would love it if they like...fucked off a bit and had their own mission to "focus" on. I also thought one of my mods was supposed to let me team up w/ PMC's of my same faction but I get drawn on by what feels like every single AI.
Also, especially noticeable on smaller maps like Ground Zero, are BRUTAL, like guys keep coming and it turns into this WILDLY crucial all out disaster of an encounter. It feels like they just keep spawning, and I have seen other posters ask about this too. The smaller maps are the hardest for me.
As for Scav's, their experience is a bit more of what I am looking for, so it's funny to me that they are also gear-locked and a side element. They derp around, steal some shit, see some homies, lock in for an intense firefight, and make it back.
I know the Stalker Gamma comparison is probably making people scream at me to play that game so I just want to reiterate that I just mean, like, the "flow of combat", I am NOT trying to make Tarkov into Stalker. It would just be cool if my heart's EKG readings looked similar, instead of SPTarkov's being a constant ventricular tachycardia.
These are the mods I currently have installed:

Waypoints
BigBrain
SAIN
GTFO Map Marker
Borkel Realistic NVG
Rep Multiplier
Take a Break
Friendly PMC (doesn't work? maybe I just suck?)
Remove Times from Quests
AI Limit
Equal Loot 4 All
Realism Mod
More Checkmarks
Swizzy Looting bots
Saria (Anime girl trader mod)

I have attempted Donuts/SWAG and when I fucked w/ the settings it felt like no AI spawned so I decided just not to mess w/ it anymore.
I look forward to hearing if you guys think this is all utterly ridiculous or maybe some of you are even playing like this right now. Thanks!

I (F25) met this guy (M24) last year and we were in a "situationship" for 7 months. In retrospect, I knew all along he never wanted me but the sex was so good and we were crazy attracted to each other. That was it, we never had good conversations or had similar interests, I could make a laundry list of the poor ways he treated me. But he was so good at telling me what I wanted to hear.
Please don't think I'm conceited, this is really just to "get off my chest" since I don't want to vent to my friends anymore. I'd say I'm pretty attractive, have a great career, and loving family and friends. I go on dates and can easily talk to guys and have a few guys I see here and there but I just don't know why this one got to me the way he did. I'm so tired of hearing the constant "you are so beautiful idk why you're stuck for some boy" like I don't know either. He never made me feel special, he'd cancel dates and never reschedule. He fell asleep twice when he knew I was on my way over. He hid me from his friends even after being introduced to my friends at the same bar. He never tried to converse with me and have deep convos. He'd fuck me then expect me to leave right after. I just feel so pathetic because I knew he knew I had no self-respect when I was with him. I just don't know why I let him do these things to me and knowing it was all because the sex was amazing and I was physically his type.
He'd get sensitive some days and tell me I deserve more because I'm the only girl who cooks him dinner, takes care of him when he's sick, praises him because I know his love language is words of affirmation, acknowledges his insecurities, and I'm loyal to him even though we weren't together. Typing this all out, yeah, I was pretty stupid doing girlfriend things for a guy who would leave me on read when I told him I felt like shit because he didn't care about me. He'd always tell me he wishes he met me years later because I'm someone who he wants as a wife and that I'd be a great mom. That's some stupid excuse since that makes me sound boring as hell now.
I ended it a month ago with him because I just was tired of being treated like a side bitch. Then he posts on Instagram today of him and his new girlfriend who is stunning. I just feel so blindsided because he told me he wasn't ready for a relationship and yes I know, it's an excuse that he just didn't want a relationship with me.
I know I have feelings for his potential more than who he really is but I'm so fucking hurt and just don't know how to get over him.
It's funny because I posted about our first date here 9 months ago and here we are now haha

It’s been about a week since I posted and I wanted to give an update on how things ended up with my now former friend. I agreed to meet with him last night and hear him out. So we went for a drink and he apologized profusely for putting me in this spot and said he would never do that again.
So I took this opportunity to really express how disgusted I was with his behavior and that I couldn’t be friends with someone that intentionally tries to ruin families. I tell him Tom and his wife have 2 children they were happily married and he’s now destroyed their family. I ask if that is something he feels bad about. He says yes but I can tell he’s bullshitting.
I ignore the fact that he’s lying because I want to know how all of this went down. Tom’s wife didn’t want to share alot of detail with him so I promised that I would find out as much as I could. So I ask to see the texts between them. He resists but I threaten to walk out and never talk to him again so he gives me the phone.
He contacted her on Facebook after the party and they talked there for a day or two before switching to text. The conversations turned sexual very quickly and it was clear that Tom’s wife was interested in a quick fling. She says in the texts that she loves her husband but that doesn’t stop her. I’m shocked by this but my friend isn’t. This isn’t the first happily married woman who took up is offer for strings free sex.
Beyond what is in the texts my friend says Tom’s wife just wanted a temporary escape, to be someone she can’t be with her husband and once she got it out of her system she would just go back to normal.
Then he starts telling me what she was like when they were together but I stop him. I say we aren’t teenagers anymore and none of this is funny. I tell him I’m done with this and both you and Tom’s wife disgust me.
I leave and block his number. I know I should have done this years ago but I didn’t. I call Tom after I leave and lie. I say I wasn’t able to get any detail. I can’t tell him that his wife just wanted some wild sex. That isn’t something I would want to know. Tom and his wife are a going to go to counseling. If it were me I’d divorce her. The level of disrespect is off the charts but maybe Tom is a better man than me.
My fiancé is happy that I have finally cut off my now former best friend. But I am sad, I hope he gets help someday before he fucks with the wrong guys wife. Thanks for listening.
ORIGINAL POST
https://www.reddit.com/relationships/comments/1cnxakb/my_25m_best_friend_25m_sleeps_with_married_women/
My best friend has a thing for married older women.
Over the years he has had surprising success in this area. It started when he was 18 and slept with a married 30 year old woman with a kid. They were both waiters at a restaurant and after months of flirting she slept with him.
In the 7 years since there have been 12 of them. All married or engaged, with ages ranging from 30 to 52. In the beginning I thought the whole thing was funny but as the years have gone on I have grown disgusted by this behavior.
If we are at a bar and he sees a bachelorette party he is hitting on the bride to be. He coaches his nephews little league team just to meet the moms. He’s had to leave 3 different jobs because he was sleeping with married coworkers and the husbands found out leading to confrontations while he was on the job. The last straw for me was last week. I recently got engaged and my fiancé’s family threw us an engagement party. It wasn’t a surprise so my fiancé and I both invited who we wanted and one of the people I wanted there was one of my former managers at work, let’s call him Tom. I am a CPA at a big firm and Tom was really a mentor to me when I started. He left to work in industry but we kept in touch and are still close. Tom is 40 and just the nicest guy you will ever meet.
So he and his wife (38F) come to our engagement party. I had never met his wife before, she is beautiful by the way. And at one point during the party I see my friend talking to Tom’s wife while Tom took a phone call. I immediately go over and interrupt the conversation and pull my friend aside and tell him to not even think about it. My friend says he wasn’t. Which was bullshit but I thought he took my warning seriously.
I was wrong. A few weeks later Tom calls me and tells me that his wife had been acting strange since the engagement party and he went through her phone and found text messages with another guy. The texts included nudes exchanged on both sides and it was very clear that they had met up for sex. Tom had confronted his wife the night before and of course it was my friend who she’d slept with. Tom was devastated, crying on the phone. He wasn’t even angry he just wanted to know why she did it and was asking me to talk to my friend to get some more details. I called my friend right after I got off the phone with Tom and exploded on him, basically ending our 20 year friendship. It’s been a week and my friend hasn’t stopped apologizing. Other than his despicable behavior with married women he has been a good friend to me. We have been like brothers since kindergarten. It hurts to throw away someone who has been such a big part of your life but I just can’t be party to this anymore. I’m making the right decision, right?
TLDR: My best friend sleeps with married women and I don’t know if I can be friends with him anymore.

Wow. This show was wow. Starts off in one direction kinda funny, kinda cringe, then gets ... wow.
IIRC, the opening scene (or at least one of them) is him going to the police. This scene is shown three times, but we have different information each time.
The first time, we know from the promos and description that he's got a stalker. I kept thinking "you dummy, just tell the cops everything, you should have done it sooner.
Then we see his relationship with Teri and get mad at him for not mentioning what Martha did to her.
Finally, we see it after we've got the whole picture. Then we get it.
I am still mentally/emotionally processing the show after finishing it, but in my personal experience, it was like unraveling an onion to get to the truth, and the truth is raw and painful.
Like so many others, I can relate and it was like seeing a mirror into how I process my experiences. I am not at the level of talking about it like he did, but it touched something very deep and hidden inside me.
I was watching with my wife who knows some details about my experiences but I do not share. My worst fear right now is that she will ask to talk about the show and how realistic it is. It's very much how I would explain living with this stuff and I really don't even want to say that to anyone so here I am strangers saying it to you.
So much to think about so much I wish I could verbalize. I'm just trying to get through life and then this show hits me like a runaway truck.
Apologies for the rambling.
I need a support group lol

Main reason I made friends and became socially active was to feel included and not be seen as a lonely loser.
Im worn out from socialising, its tiring, especially worrying about saying something funny or interesting because thats what people expect me to do.
Ive been putting up this persona for a year now, and its getting to me. I generally am this kind of person but I cant keep it up for long and my school days are 8 hours long so 8 hours long for 5 days a week sucks.
This is also the reason why i am so social after a long holiday.
I want to know how to just be happy being quiet without having any thoughts of how people see me or their expectations of me to be social. Im burnt out.
Ive been reading not too much, but i have started on epictetus books with the translations.
Is there anyone here who has overcame this specific problem? And i know alot of people will say it doesnt mean anything to me etc etc but its easier said than done okay

Look man I dont have the patience some of ya'll have with this game. If I ain't having an enjoyable time I get zapped of all motivation to try. I wanna experiment and find the wacky bs wands that can be made. I wanna get polymorphed into a sheep and obliterated by a flying propane tank but not feel like I lost five hours of work. I wanna have unlimited spells, be overpowered, heal from gold, kick stevari in the boner, and laugh at god because its funny.
Am I gitting gud? Nah Is this cheating? Lol sure Do I gotta prove myself or something? No
If it weren't for mods imma just say I'd not play Noita as much as I actually do, because the feeling of going through the frigid buttcrack of this mountain and getting 360 noscoped by sniper TF2 overthere can only happen so many times before I wanna give up.
So thank you mods :)

There has been alot of drama and idk if I'm in the wrong, i need some outside opinion.
For context- I (18f) has been been friends with pretti (17f) for over a year, we meet at school as i transferred here for m senior year of high school. From the start she has been little judgemental of everyone, she loves talking shit about people behind their back , specially her best friend with whom she is stuck like gule and acts like there can't be a better duo of friends in the whole damn school. They both pretty much are alike.
So the catch is pretti and her best friend are in different classes. In our class I'm one of the top students so pretti tries to hang out with me get the benefits of notes and other stuff, and yeah ik she talks shit about me as well. We take tutions together as well. She sometimes passss back handed comments about me , weather it be about my dress out looks or my lifestyle, she hates the fact that i come from a well known and rich family. She always seems to want the things i have and if we ever hang out she always wants me to pay. She even took one of the tshirt i bought for my boyfriend when i was shopping after classes as i had nothing to do that day. She wants me to bring my cars sometimes so we can go for a drive ( I travel by public transport as i wanna be independent) she often sents me pictures of things she wants and asks me to buy it for her.
Now coming to the incident that brings us to the title, few days ago i went to a fancy restaurant with my cousins for a family celebration and uploaded the pictures online, since then she has been nagging me to take them out there as well, she said "you know you got the money , what's the problem you should treat your friends as well yk". I ignored it few times but yesterday i blew up as she passed a comment that rubbed me the wrong way, she said " your father earns well but it is real because you never seem to spend it anywhere, like come on if my dad has that kind of money i will have all kind of trendy outfits and luxury a teenager can imagine of, you never even come to school in your car, and you keep posting about them all the time, are they even yours our you just rent is to show off?"
I had enough at that point and lashed out at her and said some unpleasant words, i can't say it all here but here is a part of it " do you think you are being so cool and funny by putting me down in front of others, oh yeah what else do u even have to be cool with, you should stop being entitled, jealous and envious b*tch so that you can have actually friends and like get a life fr bro, seriously you ask for thing from me all the damn time like don't you have ur freaking parents to provide for u, are they that broke? Why do you feel to entitled to have my money wtf should i pay for you and others all the time you are not entitled to anything and i don't owe you anything either you have no shame at all and yeah about my fathers earning , the amount ur dad earns in year is our monthly expenses so u better keep ur big mouth shut in the places it isn't required ".
Everyone agreed that i was right to say what i said but few say i was out of line.
Today she texted me said i shouldn't have embarrassed her in front of everyone and I'm the AH for that...

Funny natucial saying

KidsSayingFunnyThings