https://www.thecourier.com.au/story/8645012/search-continues-for-missing-ballarat-woman-samantha-murphy/?cs=62
Police are searching a dam south of Ballarat for the body of Samantha Murphy, with excavators being used to remove vegetation. They were observed checking evidence on the banks of the dam, with Crime Scene police also on scene.
Police began their "targeted search" for Ms Murphy's body earlier on Wednesday, May 29.
In a statement, police said they were "not in a position to supply further specific details of (the) operational activity at this time".
"Police are undertaking a targeted search in the Ballarat area today as part of the investigation into the disappearance of Samantha Murphy," they said.
"Detectives from the Missing Persons Squad as well as a range of specialist resources from across Victoria Police are involved in the search.
"Police ask that members of the public do not attend the search at this time.
"Since February, police have regularly undertaken a range of enquiries and small-scale searches as part of the current investigation.
"Samantha's family has also been advised of the search."
Several searches have been carried out south and east of Ballarat, from Canadian to Enfield, in the past few months.
The Ballarat mother was missing for five weeks before police laid charges against 22-year-old Ballarat local Patrick Stephenson.
Patrick Orren Stephenson, 22, has been charged with murdering Ms Murphy, and will face court in August.
Ms Murphy was last seen on her home CCTV footage on Sunday, February 4, leaving on foot.
Her family raised she was missing when she did not come home in time for an event.

14th: Jud “Fabio” Birza (Nicaragua - Winner)

MOVIE STAR JUD \"FABIO\" BIRZA
u/SMC0629:
Fabio, my second favorite winner of the entire show, he’s just too much fun. He perfectly encapsulates the trainwreck that is Nicaragua, and is the best winner for it as well. He gets to the end by just being himself, a decent amount of luck, physical strength, and a tiny bit of strategy. I know there’s some who seem to think Fabio is brought down by this factor of the edit building him up to know what he was doing, apparently undermining everything before the endgame. If you ask me though, who’s to say he DIDN’T have a tiny strategic mind in there? It seemed perfectly reasonable and in character for me, and it only improved him for me. Love Fabio, so happy he made it this far.
~
u/DryBonesKing:
From the same editing program that watered down Mike Gabler from OTT weirdo to a CP-lite strategic player “hiding in plain sight”, we have his prototype - the OTT blond surfer-bro that the players literally changed his name from Jud to Fabio because of how he comes across that gets a watered down CP-lite strategic edit of “they don’t realize I’m actually really smart, y’all!” Quit being cowards CBS! Give us the Goofball Fabio winner edit! #LetFabioBeFuckingWeird
I stand by the Gabler-Fabio comparison, but despite how much I dislike how the CP-edit kills Gabler’s character potential, I think Nicaragua does somehow make it work with Fabio. I blame the cast itself; with people like NaOnka, Marty, Jimmy T, Jane, Shannon, Dan Lembo, and whatever the fuck a “Benry” is supposed to be, “Fabio” almost does come across sane in comparison. As such, he can get these confessionals about pretending to be dumb and it does almost work just because the people he is surrounded by just feel literally ripped from Loony Tunes.
But despite it kinda working here, I do think Fabio is hilarious when he’s just allowed to be this weirdo that no one takes seriously, that ultimatley ends up winning because he’s surrounded by two people who have truly pissed off the jury. He’s a fun character with a truly unique winner’s story, and ultimately, I just REALLY dig his vibe. I wish I had him Top 100. But I also just wish we got a full season with the “real” Fabio as opposed to the occasional cuts to CBS trying to water him down to his most strategically-presentable version. #LetFabioBeFuckingWeird #ReleaseTheFabioOTTWinnerEdit
Overall Rank – 115/821
~
u/Zanthosus:
While I’ve never been as big on Nicaragua as many in the rankdown circle, I still appreciate a lot of what the season does and represents. And I think that Fabio’s win is the perfect ending for the clusterfuck of a season that preceded it.
~
u/Tommyroxs45:
Fabio’s run on Nicaragua is simply iconic and is a great way for the season to end. Having this likable underdog beast his way to the end under all odds against him is so satisfying. I’m happy he made this endgame even if I personally don’t have him here.
u/Regnisyak1:
Fabio is cool. I have him probably lower than a lot of people comparatively, but he was a ray of sunshine on such a negative season, and his win coming out of nowhere was great. He played the surfer bro role correctly, and while I don’t think he necessarily had the greatest ability to lead a season, he is a necessary feature in making it thrive and giving it such a large cult following here. Glad he made it after a long gap.
Personal Rank: 77/821. 9/10.
~
u/ninjedi1:
Jud “Fabio” Birza (1st Place, Nicaragua)
I love Fabio. He’s easily one of my favorite winners of all time. Every time I reevaluate my winners rankings, Fabio at worst will be the third best winner for me. Plus, as an added bonus, he also stars in my favorite B movie of all time, My Stepbrother is a Vampire!?!, which I won on DVD (I’m not joking, who do you think got the screenshot of Fabio for this writeup?). I mentioned in my Colby 3.0 writeup how I consider Nicaragua the last true old school season of Survivor, and that’s because it feels like a big fuck you to strategy, and Fabio plays a huge role in it. Enough of simply stating my love for Fabio’s character, it's time to describe why he’s so great.
The first episode properly sets Fabio up as who he is as a character this season. He gets the first confessional of the season, talking about how dangerous it really is out there and how it's not like the zoo cause it's all real (the first hint of the winner for being the first confessional of the season). He then gets put on the young people tribe, which he says are his people. One of Fabio’s main characteristics gets shown right at the start, where he basically says that they could use a snorkel flipper to collect rainwater, and when Chase said Fabio looked like he would be good in the water, Fabio instantly gets a woodchip in his foot, making him rescind the comment. Shannon then has a confessional where he calls Fabio a dumb blonde, and it instantly cuts to Fabio getting pinched by a crab claw. He then starts calling Fabio his titular nickname…uh…Fabio. This quickly catches on in the tribe, and even at the first challenge where Jeff tries to talk to “Jud”, the tribe corrects him, saying that they only know Fabio. This is Fabio’s first characterization, that he’s a goofball that isn’t taken seriously. While that’s a big characterization, it's not the most important one. The important one is shown in his confessional responding to his new nickname. He comes off surprised that everyone is calling him Fabio, calling the guy a cheeseball, but then says that he doesn’t care what people are going to call him cause he’s going to win the million dollars (in the weirdest audio edit ever) so people can call him Fabio. This highlights his second characterization, and the most important one, he is aware of what other people think of him.
Of course, just because he’s aware of his status doesn’t necessarily mean he has great strategic capabilities. This is shown in the first La Flor vote, where it's looking to be between either Shannon and Brenda, and Fabio was voting for Brenda with Shannon’s. However, Shannon has a huge meltdown at tribal, which clearly would be bad to stick with and would be better to switch sides. However, Fabio ends up sticking with Shannon anyways, voting for Brenda and going “I guess this is the vote?”, which put him on the outs. This would normally be an issue, but since everyone sees him as a goofball, he’s not near the bottom of the pecking order. It also helps that La flor will win every immunity from here on out until the swap happens, and while not happy at first that a swap was happening, he happy with the end result, as he ends up in the majority with the OG La Flor members, although some La Flor members aren’t too happy to work with Fabio strategically. Luckily though, Fabio would successfully make it to merge, where his true game would begin.
I would usually just talk about what Fabio did throughout the merge, but I would rather highlight his interactions with key people from the merge, as they all highlight Fabio’s main characteristics to varying degrees and also help add to his story.
Alina
Alina and Fabio don’t interact too much, as Alina would spend most of her time with Kelly B and then gets swapped onto Espada when the tribe swap happens, separating her from Fabio. But when they return at the merge, Alina ends up getting targeted for her involvement with the missing food fiasco. When she tries to pitch to Fabio to keep her around, he just flat out tells her that people want her out cause she’s dangerous and people think she always has a hidden motive. This does reflect back to earlier in the game, when they were both at the bottom but no one was worried about Fabio and wanted Alina and Kelly B out first. This would carry over all the way over to that moment now. Fabio has more on the pulse in the game than people think as shown here, and he’s able to avoid it due to how he plays up the perception of him.
Marty
On paper, it makes no sense for Marty to vote for Fabio as the winner. How could the most strategic guy on Espada vote for the least strategic person in the game? However, the relationship they develop over time is what really shines. When Marty gets swapped onto La Flor, everyone from OG La Flor either wants him out, or to use him for strategic gain. Fabio is really the only guy from OG La Flor that has his back. Fabio tells Marty about Naonka getting the clue, and when OG La Flor wants to split the vote and get Marty out, Fabio fights for Marty to stay. Even though Marty does trick Fabio by claiming he was a chess grandmaster, he does warm up to Fabio. They even work together at the merge, although that ends up being short-lived as Marty is taken out
Naonka and Purple Kelly
I have to lump these two together since they both highlight the one issue with Fabio’s story. Unfortunately, since both of them quit, they both get slaughtered by the edit, which in turn ends up hurting Fabio’s story since they’re both key to it. With Naonka, she is Fabio’s biggest adversary. She finds his antics way more annoying than funny, and actively yells at him when he complains to her about something, and pretty much dislikes him all around. The feeling appears to be neutral while there on La Flor, but not all is what it seems. When merge comes around Fabio and Naonka reunite again, they actually hug and get along. Even if that ends up being short lived when Naonka steals food, but when she gets cornered and comes clean about it, Fabio is the only one to thank her for doing that. Eventually, all that kindness pays off when at the F9 reward, Naonka is the one to fill him in on the Brenda vote. When FTC comes around, Naonka, despite everything that they’ve been through, calls Fabio her hippy friend and asks about how seeing his Mom gave him the strength to keep going, and Fabio gives a heartfelt answer, telling her about how much he misses his Mom and that it was the fuel he needed to make it all the way to the end of the game. Despite their rocky relationship, Naonka ends up giving Fabio her vote to win.
Purple Kelly is another important aspect of Fabio’s story that unfortunately gets buried due to the assassination edit given to Purple Kelly. Everyone knows that Kelly was miserable due to being given very little clothes to keep her warm during Nicaragua’s monsoon season, which led to her quitting. The only real time it gets acknowledged is when Fabio mentions that now Purple Kelly can sleep when they win the tarp, which is barely heard because it happens the same time that Chase finds a hidden immunity idol clue in the tacklebox. But it's interesting that Fabio is the one to vocally acknowledge it, as he’s the one who’s most involved in it. It's never mentioned, but you do always see it. Multiple times throughout Nicaragua, you can see Kelly wearing Fabio’s yellow jacket. He allowed her to wear it sometimes when she was cold to help her stay warm. Just that kind of gesture along from Fabio helping her out the best he could, led to her voting for Fabio to win in the end.
Benry
I don’t have much to say about Fabio’s relationship with Benry, but there are two things I want to highlight from it. The first is during the Marty vote, where Benry says that the best plan is to lay low and play stupid, while Fabio says that he hated playing stupid but it was the smartest thing to do. Fast forward to the F7, and the vote is between Fabio and Benry. The main alliance of Chase, Sash, Holly, and Jane are deciding who should go between Fabio, who everyone on the jury loves and could win, or Benry, who could go on an immunity run to the end. While Fabio is in general clueless at the vote and is still “playing stupid”, Benry ends up playing really hard to get the vote onto Fabio, which freaks out Chase and leads to the alliance voting out Benry over Fabio. And guess who ends up going on an immunity run right after F6 and makes it to the end and wins?
Jane
At the first merge immunity, it's a double immunity where the last standing man and woman would win immunity. When it came down to the men, the last two guys standing were Fabio and Chase. Ultimately though, it would be Chase that drops first, giving Fabio immunity. The only person that Fabio really had to compete against was Jane. This is a great foreshadow to the end of Jane’s store as well as the continuation of Fabio’s. Both of their stories are kind of similar overall, both of them end up on the outs of their starting tribe, they get new life when the swap happens, they're both overall well liked, and they were both screwed over by Chase during the loved ones visit. Both of them had strong cases to win the game just with overall likability, but one of them would have to go to allow the other one to thrive, and when Fabio comes in clutch to win F6 immunity, the majority alliance decides to cut Jane as a threat, allowing Fabio to fully harness Jane’s power to get to the end.
Sash and Chase
Once again I’m going to lump these two together because they are the ones that end up sitting next to Fabio at the end. You have big strategy Sash and country boy Chase. On paper, it should be one of these two that should win the season instead of Fabio. They were both in control for most if not all of the game, and the only reason why Fabio was there was because he won a couple immunities at the end. But yet, Fabio is the one to clutch out the title of sole survivor. Why? In my opinion, it's because Fabio is always himself, so people see him as a genuine guy, while the other two come off as terrible or fake.
Sash's main game is strategy, doing whatever he needs to get ahead of the game and make it farther. Any bond he has with someone is only on a surface level which makes him come off as sleazy and slimy, while Fabio is always genuine with his feelings and relationships with people. No one highlights this better than Marty. Marty’s main relationships involving La Flor were mainly Fabio and Sash. While Fabio always liked Marty and gets to know Marty on a personal level, Sash only really talks to Marty for strategy and cons him out of his idol on the promise of keeping him around longer. And when Sash no longer needed to keep Marty around anymore, he burned him and voted him out. Everything Sash does comes off as slimy to everyone, even his allies, while Fabio remains pure and genuine.
With Chase, it's a bit of a different story. Chase wants to be the good guy, but gets caught up in the strategy, and keeps ending up being on both sides. He always gets flip floppy and wishy washy when it comes to voting someone out or for rewards, which ends up annoying people. It's not a problem at first, but it definitely is when he starts making promises to people that he can’t keep which upsets them more, hurting his image and makes people like him less. The biggest example to this is the loved ones visit where he promised to take Fanio on reward with him if he won. However, Chase ends up burning both Fabio and Jane, who expect Chase to pick her. This leads to both Fabio and Jane being upset, and even Fabio telling Jane about the promise Chase made, which also pissed off Dan who was there. Chase always wants to maintain being the good guy while he is playing the game but struggles because of his indecisions and breaking of promises, while Fabio is actually able to maintain that status all throughout.
This all pays off at FTC, where we finally get to see Fabio speak out against the two guys, talking about how he actually got to play the game that Chase wanted to play. He talks about how played hard by being himself and being an open book for everyone, and never backstabbed anyone in the game which Sash could never do and Chase wishes he could do. He laughs when Sash calls him a wingman, telling him to take a backseat and take some notes. He doesn’t even let jurors who put him down get in his way, as when Alina says that he wants to vote for a man to win, not a boy, Fabio said he deserved to win, and when Chase said that winning three immunities didn’t mean he outwit, outplay, or outlast hi, Fabio points out that that’s outplaying him and he chose to bring Chase to the end and then says that Sash didn’t outplay anyone. I know people usually say that Chase had the better FTC performance since he flipped votes to his side, but that doesn’t matter (and is also wrong) as Fabio will end up clenching a 5-4 victory in one of the best endings to a season I could ever ask for, and that’s awesome.
SMC0629: 5
DryBonesKing: 19
Zanthosus: 20
Tommyroxs45: 15
Regnisyak1: 21
DavidW1208: 7
ninjedi1: 2
Average Placement: 12.714
Total Points: 89
Standard Deviation: 7.889 (3rd Highest)

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/xl-bully-hull-boy-attack-b2552647.html

XL Bully’ seized by police after boy, 5, suffers head injuries in attack

The five-year-old boy suffered serious head injuries after being attacked by the suspected XL Bully in Hull

Police have seized a suspected XL Bully after it attacked a young boy in Hull.
The victim, aged five, was found with serious head injuries after the incident at a house in Brazil Street in the city at around 11.45am on Monday, 27 May.
The boy was rushed to hospital where he is recovering.
A Humberside Police spokesman said: “Enquiries are ongoing after we received reports that a five-year-old boy had been bitten by a dog at a property on Brazil Street in Hull at around 11.45am yesterday.“
“The boy suffered injuries to his head, and is currently in hospital receiving treatment.”
Detective Chief Inspector Allison Sweeting said: “We are working closely with the boy’s family and the owner of the dog to understand the circumstances surrounding the incident.
“At this stage, the breed of dog is believed to be an XL bully type and it has been seized as part of our enquiries.”
Angeline Mahal was fatally attacked by one of her dogs at her home in Cornwall Close in Hornchurch last week (Supplied)
The attack comes a week after the family of a “kind-hearted” mother killed by one of her two registered XL Bully dog urged other owners to give up the breed if they show a hint of aggression.
Angeline Mahal, believed to be in her fifties, was attacked at the semi-detached home in Cornwall Close in Hornchurch just after 1pm on Monday.
A relative, who wished to remain anonymous, feared Angeline - known as Angel to friends - had been dead for many hours before she was discovered.
He told The Sun: “We miss her, she was sincere and loved by everyone. We asked her to get rid of the dogs. The bond with owners and their dogs is too strong.”
Both dogs were registered as exempt from the government’s ban on XL Bully dogs, which came in on 1 February after a series of attacks.
Under the agreement for having a dog exempt, owners must have had the animal neutered, have it microchipped and keep it muzzled and on a lead in public.
According to the Office for National Statistics, there were 16 deaths due to dog attacks in 2023, a sharp rise from preceding years where the number had been in single figures.
As of late 2023, around 60 per cent of dogs held in police kennels were a bull breed of some kind.XL Bully’ seized by police after boy, 5, suffers head injuries in attack

The five-year-old boy suffered serious head injuries after being attacked by the suspected XL Bully in Hull

Barney Davis

I can't believe I'm writing this. But I need some insight cause I find myself getting angry and confused. This is my first reddit post. Please excuse my redditor literacy.
This is the most convoluted story. It is long. But it's a ride.
You've been warned.
(Fake names obviously)
I (20f) have a best friend, Karl (20m) of 4 years. Now I see what you might assume. No. We're close but I'm mainly into women, I currently have a partner and have had a partner 90% of the time they where dating.
Now Karl got with Regina(19f) late 2022, the relationship started off rocky as she said "I only want you" but then kissed her ex, and then couldn't decide who she wanted. But still insisted once she chose Karl, she wanted to stay friends with her ex. Posted pictures when they'd "hang out" where it looked like she was sitting on his lap. But she swore she wasn't. Constantly blocked him after things would happen, then unblocked him, lied, then cried when Karl would find out.
Yes. Infuriating. But here you go. That's how Regina was introduced to our lives.
It took a while but eventually I tried to look past this. I care about Karl, if this was who he loved. We accepted it. Infact made it a point to invite her out to gatherings, made sure to offer her food, offer her drinks, chatting. Making sure she's involved. Gassing her up. Girlie things. (God I'm so desperate for everyone to love me it's a problem.)
Then her friends, ex boyfriend began to follow me, I had hoped this was because of how well I'd done to make friends. But this waa short lived.
Originally I'd just hoped it was banter. I'd chat to them, often sending pictures with Regina in her classes and joking with me.
Unfortunately I have social impairments, Slowly it became clear they where just laughing at me, calling me names but with cutesy emojis. Remember the girls in highschool? The ones thatd pretend to be your friend in class because it was funny? Like that.
So i stopped paying attention, often ignoring them. Unfortunately it only got worse. It got to a point I'd be spammed and have my instagram story replies with slurrs, calling me a pdf. File??? (I was talking to someone 6 years older than me?) Weird references, calling me cringe (I know. I know, worst thing ever right.), picking on my hair, my eyes(strabismus), my clothing. So I folded. Told Karl I wouldn't be dealing with it anymore. I'd blocked them, and asked karl To ask Regina to ask her friends to stop contacting me, I was doing my finishing project in college (uk) to get into university and it was getting to point I couldn't focus. I told him what had been happening, that I didn't know what her problem was. But I am a adult woman and this was bizarre.
Now, that alone. I forgave and in time, forgot. She had allegedly appologized "for them" and didn't know any of that was happening and had no I'll intent and hoped we could still be friends. Okay, sure.
Weird semi important point: she confessed in a groupchat that she used to be a 'chav' I said " you do look like someone who'd have bullied me" Banter. She then posted on her Instagram story (Paraphrased by memory) "When someone says you look like someone who'd have bullied them- but your friend died" I can't remember, but it was along the lines of that kind of 'what the fuck does that even mean'
Upon a later night of drinking, regina was talking to Karl about the ex, Mike. I brang up the fact her ex boyfriend kept liking my photos and was following me Hoping to bond over the fact this guy was weird, common girly bonding
"You know he only follows you so he could make fun of you and how cringe your posts are". She laughs.
The group goes quiet and holy shit I'm embarrassed. I just internalise that and change the subject.
Later I repost a reel of a guy saying something vaugely corresponding to this convosation. Basic premise when someone tells you their friend talks shit about you, then obviously you ask "why do they do that to you" (I know childish but at this point I was starting to really dislike her. My friend had sent it to me, It was late.) When i say She launched, "if you've got a problem talk to me instead of being weird and I'd tell you I was so scared of Mike and he held such a power over me and I just let him chat shit" I'd love to just mention this is after the 2nd time she'd unblocked him to talk to him behind Karl's back. I put up with it. Karl is at this point family. And if this is who he loves. We have to love her too.
This is all important to the point I swear.
Anyway.
My partners (now ex) friend Frank (22) and us fell out. Unimportant to this story but he let me know, Regina and an old very close friend had a groupchat to say very unpleasant things about me in, despite this old friend I never stopped speaking well of. Hoping we'd find eachother again. He'd been scouted when we had fallen out. But respected me enough to tell me. Another confrontation where she is so misunderstood and I'm making a big deal out of nothing and she's never ever had a problem with me.
Okay. Talked to Karl again. He is shocked but takes her word. As I'd kinda expect. Its his girlfriend. He took her to London over my birthday, he didn't want to ruin it. So he gave it up.
Karl throughout this is withdrawing from us. When he's with us it's like the light is gone from his eyes. He's distracted, quiet, doesn't laugh as much. Often tries to slip out of meetups because he'll "only bring you guys down". He's constantly picking up his phone. Constantly messaging. Cancelling plans. He won't talk to us. We where all worried.
Karl few months later calls me for advice. Turns out she kept getting caught in lies about her ex and general behaviours. Ignoring him for days again, threatening to game quit if she doesn't get the attention she wants. It'd all gotten so tiring that he didn't have any attraction to her anymore. He had no sex drive. He dreaded seeing her. But had to constantly message her. He's been feeling like this for months. Karl didn't want to leave her just before her birthday, he felt it cruel. But then it was the anniversary coming up. He didn't want to be responsible. He'd tried gifts, trips, anything just to make her happy. No matter what he did he still felt like nothing was enough. I managed to talk him through. About threatening suicide if someone wants to leave, is indeed abuse. He wasn't himself. How we felt and how we where worried. He got choked up. Not realizing anyone cared. He asked if he should leave. I asked if he was happy. "I can't imagine not having her there." Okay no. Not what I asked. Eventually he confessed He'd never felt lower. I said. Can you see yourself marrying her? No. Infact he said the thourght freaked him out. I said. Well. Why are you with her. Eventually it got to a point He left her. She said she'd been thinking about it. Yay? No 12 hours later he calls me saying its all fixed. Its all okay. How He's a horrible person for doing this to her. How it's him that needs to change. How he will spend a long time making this up to her. You know. I'm a domestic abuse survivor. But I never realized how much hearing that killed abit of my sould. Trying to convince Karl that he's worth anything is like trying to convince a deaf non signing American Conservative that the gays aren't trying to make him gay too.
They do eventually a few months later split. She says she wants to breakup as he "doesn't love her the way she wants him to" he is hurt but says okay. She then obviously realizes hey, he isn't gonna start begging on his knees. You can only hurt someone so much. She then asks "breakup sex" directly after and to this day its our favourite quote. But he says no, she asks for one more night, he says no you just broke up with me? Leave? She complains about not being able to get to the train station. Now. Karl didn't have his licence till a few weeks later. So queue the weirdest car ride with his DAD you've ever heard of. She cried. Hugged him. Begged him to reconsider. Karl officially has realized how disconnected he's become. Nah.
Queue a weird amount of messages ranging between "I'm sorry baby" to "I CANT BELIEVE YOURE GIVING UP ON US" and sexually charged messages, After karl finally blocks her. She begins to call him from various different numbers. Tries to get with his friends. Fails. Still calls him crying for the next 6 months. In which these events happen.
Frank from before. Now it turns out. While we don't have full timeline but either weirdly around the time they broke up they got /very/ close. To the point despite Frank having a partner. She was begging him to sleep with her. But Being weird with it. One minute she wants him. Next she doesn't. Basically, she loves the idea that she could have him. But doesn't want to keep any of them. Frank had a girlfriend. Goddess of a lady. Daisy. Regina proceeded to pick on every little thing to Frank about daisy she could. Always. Physical appearance.
Then. Now I am simply not making this up. after Frank separates himself from this situation. Regina begins to harrass Daisy, With telling Daisy about how much Frank's missing out on not shagging her instead.
And making 6 different instagram accounts to harrass them, and this is where I come in further.
Regina now, after the hate group chooses some last straws she can pull to drag him back. She makes a fake account. Goes to message Frank. With the opener of gossip about me and my partners sex life. I talked to Regina less times than I can Count on one hand.
The main one I'm aware of is "Did you know my partner drinks my names piss" Which I'm not here to kink shame; but this does not happen unfortunately but i still find it beautiful of a statement.
I one day due to some more harassment and more attention than I'm used to.
Decide to private my instagram. It was only for 24 hours in full so I could change some settings and archive some things. Within 15. An account. David, requests to follow. Strange. Cause my account is shadow banned and cannot be shown to non followers. I click. Heavens foretold dear friends. Regina's new boo. Id like to clarify. 2 weeks before Karl was still getting snotty teary calls telling him she misses him. Karl's friends where sending screenshots of Regina trying it on with them then getting snotty when she was rightfully laughed at.
I ask "hi??"
"Hi me and my girlfriend just wanted to stalk how cringe your posts are" I wish I could have been funny and not caught off guard. And shamed them. Oh god. I wish I had. Basically I told him, the gym is waiting. She will chew you up. Idk what I did but I'm sorry. Godamn. Leave me be. And they said "It's not that deep lighten up" I am indeed embarrassed.
But they kept mentioning my workplace. I am a bartender, and one day she did come in with a man, they seems very loved up but then again. It certainly wasn't this guy. then said bad things about me infront of a coworker. It was a little satisfying seeing her face fall and hit the table from shame as I was carrying an ice bucket past her. She was already cut off at this point for her antics.
David's best friends memepage now follows me. But has been the first out of 5 accounts not to say anything. I'm sure they think I don't know. David claimed I was lying in my encounter. I do wonder if I could flip the table entirely.
but I also wonder if she's just very mentally unwell. But it's been 1.5 years of this and I'm just abit knackered and pissed off.
I'm 20 feeling like a highschooler. But I'm working for a bipolar diagnosis and I have ADHD, the paranoia. Is driving me up the wall man. Like this woman knows enough of my details and she's spread where I work. She's been to my house. She has clearly gotten multiple people involves historically and despite me trying to apologise, it makes no difference.
If I knew what the issue was, I'd gauge it. But it's not knowing and not being told. But it's reassuring it's not just me. With daisy, I'm wondering if this is historic. Might be vanity? She (used to?) Post alot of ...suggestive photography and always wears a lingerie corset and heavy makeup, filters. Nothing wrong with that of course but she's a very sexually orientated person, and given the contexts to that behaviour. I wonder if its to cover some in depth issues. But that's just a theory. Part of feels hey, if she needs men to tell her that I am ugly, cringe and worth nothing. Then she van have that. The other half makes me want vengeance for the boy, prove that I'm not whatever she'd been making me out to be and make her realize she needs to change. But that's. abit pathetic innit.
Anyway I doubt anyones made it this far and if you have. Thank you for reading my story and the weirdness of it. I hope it hasn't been too shit. Just needed to get it off my chest. And maybe if anyone has anything to say.
TLDR: my best friends ex has always had an issue despite my efforts. Getting various people to harrass and bully me, She tried to get with his friends, other guys we knew and harrassing us all. All while still crying she misses him. Her new bf thinks I'm lying and is joining in, his best friend now follows me too. My partner allegedly drinks my piss <3

Throwaway because my girlfriend knows my main. So as it states in the title, I (A 27-year-old man) have a girlfriend (a 27-year-old woman) of 3 years. We met through a mutual friend who had been insistent on introducing the two of us because we would, and I quote “automatically fall in love”
Well he was right, that son of a bitch. The moment I met her I knew I would never meet anyone else like her. I stand firm on my belief that she is too pure for this world, she is an eternally kind and loving person. She is the kind of person to give you the food on her plate even it means she starves. I assume that's a trait that comes from growing up as the oldest daughter in a house of 6 brothers. But nevertheless, she's the best person I know and I love her to death.
Now, here is where my problem comes into play. My girlfriend is a songwriter, she writes songs and sells them, and works with different artists on different projects. Recently, she has been working on an album with this guy, Alex. I was first introduced to him about two months ago when she brought him and his band over for dinner, me and my girlfriend cooked it together and even taught one of the bandmates how to make bread from scratch. It was a wonderful night and I was thankful to be able to be a part of my girlfriend's job like that. As for Alex, he seemed like a decent guy, very much a jokester as he had most of us laughing the entire time. Just seems like a very good guy.
My problem started around week two of knowing him. My girlfriend came home practically jumping for joy as she told me she was going to be singing on one of the songs. Alex had apparently asked her to do a duet with him. I was over the moon excited for her, she has a beautiful singing voice, and its one of the things I love about her. She told me that they were going to be recording the next day and she would love it if I stopped by. I didn't think twice before agreeing and when I went the next day I was in awe of her. I stood outside of the booth, next to this couch where the other bandmates were. Alex and her were both in the recording booth. I remember just listening to my girlfriend and all of a sudden I caught a glance of the look on Alex’s face and to say he was completely entranced would be an understatement. He was looking at her with this look that I can't even begin to explain but it was just like he was completely captivated by her. I brushed it off after that because knowing my girlfriend it's hard not to be just in awe of her. I didn't think too much about it for about another week.
Until I got a call from a buddy of mine, he called me and told me to check Alex’s Instagram story. I did and the first thing I see is a picture of my girlfriend in the studio with the words “If I'm dreaming, never wake me up” and a pink heart emoji. My friend is practically fuming saying things like “That's so rude, why would he do that, he knows she is dating you, etc.” I immediately tell my friend to calm down, because it's not the most damaging post ever and in hindsight, it could be a joke. I brought it up to my girlfriend later and she told me that he verbally said that to his friends and everyone laughed so she knows it was a joke that he put it as the caption. I just accepted that answer and moved on.
Then a couple of days after that, we all went out for drinks as a little celebration of my girlfriend and Alex finishing the song. My girlfriend and I excused ourselves to get more drinks, we got them and she told me she was going to the restroom so I should go back to the table. I was walking to the table when I overheard them talking. It was dark and there was a good crowd so I don't think they saw me walking up. But I overheard this exchange;
Guy 1: “She literally brought him, what don’t you get?”
Alex: “It's not like they're married. Plus she hardly talks about him, maybe she's bored.”
Guy 1: “That doesn't mean she wants you.”
Alex: “It's worth a shot.”
I kind of slowed my steps, not really processing what I was hearing. My immediate thought was the optimistic “Maybe they're talking about someone else?” But when I later got home I realized the obvious, my girlfriend was the only girl there. Who else could they be talking about? Again, I tried to brush it off. I didn't want to be the guy who didn’t trust his girlfriend.
Then the second shoe finally came down. About two days ago, I was on a call with this guy, I'll call him Tim. Tim is the assistant manager for the band, and has been the only one I seriously became friends with out of these band guys. I was on the phone with him yesterday and we were chatting about miscellaneous things and it was casual. Until I brought up my girlfriend. I told him how excited she was about this album. Tim got quiet and his voice started to get a bit guilty. I asked him what was wrong and that's when the dam broke. He told me about how Alex had been telling people he is in love with my girlfriend a long time. How almost all the love songs on the album, which Alex has said to my face were about an ex of his, were really about my girlfriend. Tim told me that he constantly talks about getting her away from me, and how he could give her a better life. With fancier things and luxurious vacations. I was sick to my stomach.
I'm a pretty normal guy, I think I'm decently attractive, I take good care of myself, and work out a good amount. I try to give my girlfriend the best things but I'm a junior associate at my law firm, so I make at best 50,000 a year. I give her everything I can even when she doesn't ask for it and the thought that it might not be enough just kills me. Tim was extremely apologetic for not telling me sooner, and I forgave him, I can understand the situation. After the call, I couldn't shake this nagging anxiety. I love my girlfriend, she has never given me a reason not to trust her. I believe that she would never in a million years cheat on me, or even consider it. So it's not her I am particularly worried about. I don't even want to be worried in general, I trust her, and I love her. But there's this nagging feeling of just anxiety I get at all times of the day. I feel helpless to do anything because I don't want to tell her this and ruin one of the best music opportunities she's ever had. Something which she is so excited about. I just can't stand this worthless feeling, this feeling like I'm not enough for her or that I need to do more. Call me insecure, I probably am. I just can't stand to lose her. It would probably kill me. So what should I do? I'll take any advice at this point.
TL;DR: My girlfriend's coworker is in love with her and actively is trying to win her over. I love and trust my grilfriend but I am still feeling poorly about this. What should I do?

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/throwra6064
Originally posted to relationship_advice
My twin sister (18F) and I (18F) took a genetic test, and we did not share any DNA. What should my next step be, when no one in the family is telling me why?
Editor’s Note: added paragraph breaks for readability
Original Post: May 13, 2024
My twin and I are fraternal twins. Recently, we took a genetic test for fun, because we wanted to see what we shared and the differences between us. Since we still share genes, fraternal twins are like siblings genetically. My grandparents had suggested the tests and got them for us, so our parents didn’t know about it. But our results made no sense. My twin’s was coming up almost completely as Eastern European and Western European. Which makes sense, as most of my family are Croatian, German, or Austrian. So all of that would be accurate.
But mine wasn’t anything like that. It was almost completely Scandinavian, with some Russian and a couple of other places. Neither of which were on my twin’s result, she had a very small percentage of Scandinavian but that was it. And we had no matched DNA. Which clearly seemed impossible.
We were literally twins, we have to share DNA. My twin said they must have mixed my sample up with someone else. We ended up contacting the company, and my twin and I took a test again. It was the same result. Both my twin and I were really confused. We told our grandparents, and they just said that was interesting, and said nothing else.
My twin said we should tell our parents, and see if they had ever done a genetic test, or if any of our siblings had, and then we could see if somehow ours were still right. I mean, it kind of made sense I'd have Scandinavian, because I'm much taller than my mother, and quite a bit taller than my twin and I'm way better at football and handball than she is.
And I'm very blonde compared to the rest of my family, but I had thought it was the German. When we told our mother, they reacted almost the same way as my grandparents, but she seemed annoyed. And said that they're inaccurate anyway, and our grandparents shouldn't have told us to take one. And when we asked our father, he basically said nothing.
I'm confused. I know my twin thinks it's just a mistake, but I don't think so. We have to share DNA, about 50%. That's how twins and siblings work. Even though we're fraternal, we should still share quite a bit of DNA. But other explanations don't make sense.
My mother can't have cheated on my father, because my twin and I would still share DNA. Just less, because we would have different fathers. The results mean we can't share a parent, or even be related. But I don't see why my parents would adopt me if I'm not their child, when I don't think they've ever been to Scandinavia and why they'd adopt a baby that's almost exactly the same age as their baby. I'm panicking.
The person I'm closest with in the whole world, who I thought I even shared the womb with, might not even be related to me. My birthday might not even be real. None of this makes any sense, and no one is telling me the truth. I'm also scared my twin might tell her boyfriend about it, and then people might end up knowing that I'm some kind of fraud and my family isn't my family at all.
Edit: I called the clinic where my mother gave birth to all of my siblings. The day of my birthday, my mother is in the records but only for one birth. Not two, not twins. I don't know if it's an error, or my mother didn't give birth to me.
Relevant Comments
OOP on asking her extended family members for answers and ask her parents and grandparents

OOP: I don't think they want to tell me anything, they're all acting weirdly now, and I heard my mother yelling at people on the phone. I don't know what's going on, but there's no way they want to tell me what's going on.
I looked when my twin wasn't there, but I had no close ones, only very distant ones. Only people who are my eighth cousins and that sort of thing. So not very helpful.
She sounded a bit too polite for that sometimes. And sometimes at odd times of day, so I'm not sure it was always my grandparents. Probably my father too.

OOP on her mother’s records at the clinic and see if it was possible she was swapped at birth

OOP: Sadly, my mother has given birth every time in a private clinic that is very small, she prefers it. She thinks hospitals are disgusting and she prefers knowing the doctors. So while that is possible, and I'll look into getting parental DNA done, it would be very concerning if that had happened because at most, maybe three or four other woman would have given birth at a similar time as her. But possible, definitely.

OOP on getting her birth certificate from her parents, which might reveal more details on her background

OOP: I didn't think about my birth certificate. I'll ask them, but if they don't give it to me, then I'm sure it shouldn't be too difficult to find.

OOP on if her grandparents knew anything about her situation

OOP: Kind of, I did ask them why they suggested it, and my grandmother said that it doesn't matter. I said clearly it does if the results are right, but she just said she's doesn't know anything and to tell my mother that.
I don't know why they'd deliberately upset my parents with this, but I'm only assuming that they wanted me to know. But I don't know why, I think my grandmother thinks I should figure it out myself now I know, but I literally have no clue when no one will tell me anything at all.

 
Update: May 22, 2024
So, I'm adopted. Which was probably quite obvious as soon as I got the results, but I guess I was in denial.
My parents told me a couple of days ago, not much, but a bit. I know now that my mother was Danish, and my father's old girlfriend from when he was really young, which is seriously weird. I asked them a lot of questions, but I didn't get answers to all of them. I don't know who my father is, how my parents were able to adopt me and why, if she's even alive, nothing.
But thankfully I am actually legally adopted by them, which is a relief, since I was worried I might not be. And my birthday is actually my birthday, so they haven't been committing any weird fraud.
It's very weird. My sister has been acting weirdly, and my family as well. But in some ways, it's a relief. My parents still feel like my parents, and my siblings like my siblings. I know that technically they're not, but I don't feel too upset about it.
I'm just upset they lied, and also won't tell me everything. I don't know if they genuinely don't know, or don't want to talk about it, but at least I have an idea about everything now. I'm still not quite sure how I feel about it, but I'm glad I know about things now. Plus now I have a country that's actually good at football to support, which is nice.
Maybe some day I'll find out everything, maybe not. I could probably look her up, and find her if I wanted to, but I'm not sure if I do, if she's still alive. Although everything is different, it doesn't feel so bad, but it does at the same time. It's very weird.
But I have a family that loves me, so it could be much worse. I feel sad about my twin, since we're not actually related which feels really different and she's acting different as well, but I still love her a lot, and my parents as well. I think it will take some time to know how I really feel. In some ways I want to be mad at everyone and do stupid things, but that's only sometimes, and overall I feel okay so that's good. And eventually I think I'll be content with how everything is.
Relevant Comments
OOP on looking into her background to find her biological relatives especially birth parents

OOP: I didn't think of that. Maybe at some point I will, but right now I'm happy with my family and how things are and I don't really want to go through all of that right now.

 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I have a pt in a SNF that I just saw today for the second time. I was giving the MOCA and she was trying to subtract 7 from 80. She said, “I should know this, I’m a teacher.”
That’s when it clicked…teacher…her last name. The same name as the fucking bitch bully teacher from 1981. I said, “Did you teach 1st grade at XYZ school?” She said she had. She was the teacher next door to my classroom. I had little interaction with her, but the interactions were often traumatic. I still live in my hometown and I worked in that same elementary school as an SLP, 3 decades later. TBH, it took months to feel comfortable in that building because of the trauma.
The most significant memory I have of her is this: I was walking to the bus at dismissal and she grabbed me out of nowhere, pushed me up against the wall and berated me for making faces at her. She held me up against the wall, insisting I admit it and appologize. It happened out of the blue and I promise you, I was NOT making faces at that fucking bitch cow. It was so scary and I still think about several times a year. I was six years old at the time.
I had a visceral reaction to this woman (now in her 80’s) today. I sat there momentarily considering my options:

1. Tell her I remember her being an abusing fucking bully in 1981 and that she was a shite teacher and we all hated her.
2. Leave the room and discharge her (no other SLPs are available).
3. Continue on with the session and remain professional.
4. (Unethical thoughts)

I chose number three. Afterwards talked to my supervisor about it. Apparently, the whole family is pretty demanding and condescending. She sympathized with me.
So, anyway, I held it together and I came her to vent my frustrations to you all! Thanks for reading!

Hello women of Reddit,
I'm going through a very rough time emotionally and spiritually and have always found peace when I express my thoughts by writing them out so I figured I would find a Subreddit to express myself and see what strangers who are impartial to my situation will say. There's always two sides to a story, so I'll be mindful to not sit here like a narcissist trying to paint a holy picture of myself and an unholy one of her. I pledge to be completely honest, even if I am burned at the stake in the comments for any wrongdoings of mine. Please note there's a limit to how many characters I can type in here, so 20 years of history for important context will need to be summarized as much as possible. I'll do my best to keep it relevant and share the parts that matter.
In my first year of high school at age 13, a friend of mine was dating a girl from a different high school that he would bring around to hang out with us. She seemed like a nice girl as far as I could tell, but I couldn't help but notice how literally everyone who had something to say about her would always highlight and emphasize that she was a slut and they would tell stories about stuff she has done when she was drunk. I didn't think much of it at the time because why would I? It had nothing to do with me. Soon after, I moved to a different high school and cut ties with that friend.
A few years went by, and one day out of nowhere to my surprise, she called my house to say hi, and to see if I wanted to hang out. I decided to hang out with her because I learned from her that she was no longer dating the guy I met her through, and we were somewhat acquainted already so it felt ok. We started to hang out a lot and I started feeling those fuzzy feelings in my stomach where I knew I was beginning to develop feelings for her, and so much that I was finding myself "borrowing" my dads' car when I didn't yet have my license just to be able to go see her. People around me who knew her started to notice that her and I were getting close, and I started getting warnings from literally dozens of people to not bother with her because she's a slut, and she's just going to hurt me in the end. Despite all these warnings, the feelings I had inside of me for her at that time were too strong to ignore, so I ended up ignoring the warnings people were giving me and wanted to judge her from my experience with her rather than other people's words.
During the time I was hanging out with her, I soon learned that she was apparently seeing or casually dating someone new, which of course bothered me because I liked her and I could feel from her that she liked me too. I started noticing that certain times in evenings she would not answer her phone at all and because I was increasingly growing so in love with her, I literally would begin to sit outside her place down the street in a car just to see what the hell she was doing certain evenings that she wouldn't answer my calls. Of course, it soon became obvious to me that she was going to see this guy she was "seeing" because she would always jump in a taxi very late night and get dropped off at the same house. I'm ashamed when I look back and realize that I was somewhat stalking her and being creepy, but the intentions weren't bad but rather just a little too curious, and it was also killing me inside to see her casually seeing this older guy who I felt was probably just exploiting her for sex. I say that because it was weird to me that she never hung out with him during the day as friends like her and I did but only went to see him late at night, so my mind started messing with me a lot and all the rumours about her started coming in as intrusive thoughts. I'm already a person who has a very deep depth of conscious thoughts so I can sometimes get very deep into my imagination and that's not really a good thing when the mind goes into dark and negative places.
One day during an afternoon I dropped by her house unannounced and I knocked on her house door but no one answered even though I was sure she was home. I went to the side of the house and climbed up on a utility box below her bedroom window that she would always sneak out of, so I can look through the window and maybe get her attention, and I instantly couldn't believe my eyes. There she was butt naked having sex with her ex-boyfriend, the guy I was friends with in early high school. I felt sick to my stomach that I walked right into that so I quickly left to my car and immediately drove off. It was so disturbing to see this and also to realize she was fucking an older guy and also liked me, all three at the same time. I never brought that up to her during that time because it was just too foul to mention. One night, she called me and asked me if I can pick her up from a friend's house because she had too much to drink and couldn't get home safe, so I said okay. When we got to her house, she asked me to help her inside, and so I did and next thing you know when we are sitting on the couch her hands are in my pants, she pulled me into her bedroom, and we had sex for the first time. This was when I lost my virginity.
After this point her and I began to start sleeping with each other regularly and of course it made me love her more and more. I couldn't deal with the circumstance the way it was and so I got very serious with her and let her know I was not cool with what she's doing and that she would need to stop this madness. We got into a lot of arguments and fights about what she was doing and we fought and fought, until one day she suddenly out of nowhere came to me and said she "broke up" with the older guy. She told me she wanted to be official and be a real exclusive couple together with me. I felt this sigh of relief go through me, but also somehow it didn't feel as good as it could've or should've had I not known all these past issues about her.
Here we are suddenly an official couple, and I started realizing that I had this deep insecurity anytime she would say she wanted to go hang out with her girlfriends and "guy friends" to party. I wasn't into drinking and partying at that age and so I would always tell her no, especially if other guys are around, but she didn't care what I had to say and would do what she wanted anyway. When I would try to stop her, she would fight me and tell people that I was being controlling. I felt like I had no power and didn't know what to do because I always thought she will get drunk and do somethign with other guys and that scared the shit out of me.
Soon after I randomly met a girl at a friends house who took interest in me. One day just like that I decided to hang out with her and I ended up cheating on my GF with her. I regret that I did that but looking back on it, I feel like I did it because I was so insecure and upset deep inside at everything I was going through with my GF and her going out partying and drinking with other guys around that I just didn't care anymore and went with it. She eventually found out that I cheated, and demanded I end contact with that girl and I did. I saw that it actually hurt her and I apologized for it and luckily for me she forgave me despite showing serious displeasure. I explained to her that I messed up and I did it because I thought she was likely cheating on me anyways and I had a hard time getting over her past. We both agreed to move on from that. That was when I was 19 and it was the only time I ever cheated on her. I learned from that one mistake I made.
A few more years went by, and still she was giving me a very hard time when it came to going out drinking with her friends. I was working very long 16-hour days at that time, and it never sat well with me for her to go out and get drunk when I'm not present. We continued to fight and argue over this, and she simply never understood me on why I didn't want her to do this. I would do this because I knew that when she drinks, she's not herself at all. She becomes very flirty and inappropriate, and I didn't want that to happen if I'm not around to look after her and stop her from doing dumb shit. Either way, she would do it and ignore what I say. I got fed up with this and ended up breaking up with her. During this time of being broken up, I started trying to see other girls and despite meeting other women in platonic terms, my heart kept wanting her back. So after six months of being broken up, I went back to her and tried to talk to her to see if she wanted to get back together and try to have a fresh start. She immediately showed interest, but she said she had to let me know during the time broken up that she started seeing and having sex with someone else. Despite not offically being a couple at that time, it shattered me. Why? Because I couldn't believe that after everything we went through, she would just go and fuck another dude who was clearly exploiting her for sex. I know that because she dropped him in the snap of a finger to come back to me, so obviously there was nothing of substance there other than her avoiding being alone. I cried about it and ultimately accepted being together again.
Many years went by again and new problems came up, now she is comparing me and us to her friends and their boyfriends. Giving me a hard time that I don't buy her designer bags and spend money on expensive items for her. I would argue with her over this a lot because to me, it was just stupid to be buying junk like this when you don't have too much money to spare, especially at our age, but she didn't care. Every day was arguing and fighting and her putting me down simply for not buying her designer bags. This is when I began to notice that I was starting to get verbally abusive towards her with name calling, belittling and shaming for stuff she's done wrong. There were also many times where I would get physical with her too by grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her out of frustration during arguments because she would drive me insane with her words. I didn't know how else to express my anger so it always translated mostly into insults about her promiscuity and history. Anyway, eventually I got so fed up with her that I ended up telling her to take a hike and that I don't want to be with her if this is the type of person she's going to be by disturbing the peace in our household with constant comparisons to others. I didn't actually literally mean it when I told her to take a hike and leave and this is something I would often say when we would fight because when I'm angry I feel like I mean it but whenever I would calm down I knew I didn't want her to actually leave. She of course eventually took it literally, and when she did leave this time she immediately started seeing another guy. How did I know? I used 'find my phone' on her iPhone at that time to track her very strange movements and pulled up on her one day while she was with another man. The man shit himself when he seen me, kicked her to the curb and drove off while texting her to forget him. Her reason for doing this was, "you kicked me out, we are not together, and I don't want to be with you". All that just because I didn't buy her chanel and louis vuitton designer bags that her friends boyfriends were buying for them. Me being the low self-esteem insecure loser, I ended up trying to once again work things out with her and reconcile our relationship because I was afraid to lose her and be alone. It's embarassing to admit this but that's the truth.
Again more years went by and I had noticed that a depression and anxiety struggle I had over the years was starting to get pretty bad. Luckily in 2018 I was able to cure my depression in the Amazon Jungle of Peru by participating in several Ayahuasca ceremonies but unfortunately it didn't do anything to help my crippling anxiety. After that trip when I came home from Peru and she was again beginning to show signs of discontent by comparing me to other peoples boyfriends and was giving me a hard time every single day about stupid shit. She was telling me I don't do anything for her, despite over the years sending her on so many vacations with her friends and giving her thousands of dollars of spending money, bankrolling her business she started and so much more. I was taking so much of this from her on a daily basis that it was driving me insane to where I told her once again during the heat of an argument to take a hike if she thinks I'm so bad and of course she did just that. She never stopped to think of all the things that I have done for her but only seemed to focus on what I wasn't doing for her.
After she moved out we still talked regularly and I started noticing she was acting a bit weird. One night I asked her to go out for dinner and drinks and when we got back to the house she passed out drunk and so I went through her phone. I immediately went to her texts and found out she was seeing someone and the texts indicated it was potentially and most likely physical and so of course I lost my shit. I woke her up and confronted her about the texts and I will never forget the smirk she had on her face. I couldn't believe that once again she would do this and especially after fighting over dumb shit like comparing me to others. Everything I learned about this guy she was now seeing indicated she got with him because he appeared to have money. I felt this because she ridiculously and shamelessly stated she liked his Mercedes G-Wagon and all the comparisons to other people and the bad influences she had around her was obvious to me. Sadly, I again let myself down and begged her like a little bitch to stop talking to him and she was not wanting to this time. I was so fucking pathetic that I paid her a very very large six figure sum of cash to come back to me and to leave this guy. Before the cash offer she wasn't showing interest to come back but once I mentioned the money and bought her some jewellery, she suddenly was warming up to wanting to come back to me. I did, however, throw some contingencies in there that she had to come with me to Peru to participate in Ayahausca ceremonies because I felt like she had some serious internal issues and traumas that she also needed to sort out to change for the better. I felt like the reason she was always behaving so reckless and so concerned with other peoples lives and all these comparisons was because of some deep rooted traumas. I say this because she grew up without a father and without money so this is something I always considered about her and kept in mind. Participating in Ayahuasca circles really opened my eyes to trauma and behavior issues we humans have from stuff in our childhood so I knew all these messed up things she's doing stems from a root cause of something in her early life experience. It was certainly the reason why I needed healing because I had my own traumas from my childhood that was affecting my life and behavioir as well. Anyway, she hesitantly agreed and we went to Peru together. When we were in the jungle I felt her energy during one particular Ayahuasca ceremony and she seemed very scared and showing a side of her that I didn't see before. I knew right then and there that she is suffering from something in her soul that that she wasn't even aware of. I always did notice and pickup on her very serious lack of self awareness that she still seems to struggle with to this very day.
We got back home and everything seemed alright. I started noticing she was different in a way I hadn't witnessed before. Different in terms of her energy and her aura. One day she suddenly out of no where told me "after ayahuasca, looking back on myself, I feel like I was possessed by something very dark considering how I used to behave" .. She was referrng to her reckless beahvior and essentially saying she can't even believe her own past behavior and feels like she wasnt herself and now she is waking up and snapping out of it. I swear to god I cried tears of relief when she said this to me and I felt like maybe, just maybe we can have a normal life now. She also at this same time made a promise to me that she would never ever repeat those same behaviors again and that even if we were fighting one day and separated temporarily on a break for whatever reason, that she would give me the respect of letting me know before she talks to or dates any other men. Sounded very good to me of course.
Well, unfortunately Ayahuasca isn't a one trick pony and often times it requires many many ceremonies to fully heal deep rooted subconscious traumas and if you don't go back and finish what you started, you can slip back into old habits especially if you don't put in the work to change from the lessons you learn. I can only speak for myself and can say that I was still not doing too well with my anxiety and I wanted to go back to Peru again to do more work on myself. This time I left to Peru in 2021 and when I came back she was again suddenly being so nasty and mean to me when I was in an energetically sensitive state. Once again every single day back to comparing me to other men who shower their women with money and saying I never do anything for her like the entire past 17 years of everything I did for her, giving her cash, jewellery, vacations and cars all was nothing. The past didnt matter, it only mattered what I was doing for her in the moment. She drove me so insane for six months straight that one day I blew up and told her to either stop or get out. She decided to pack up and move out on her own. I tried to stop her but she didn't and she went anwyay. Some months went by and we would talk on the phone and she would tell me she realizes she has a lot of work to do on herself and that she is trying to heal herself. I told her great, I'm happy to hear that and I really did feel like maybe she might need this time alone to heal and it could possibly be what she needs. Well, unfortunately for me, she once again revealed to me a little over a month ago that she is talking to another man AGAIN and despite promising me she wouldn't do so without talking to me first, she did anyway. Her reason for breaking her promise is "were not together and I owe you nothing". She went as far as showing me text messages between her and this man from the USA and I asked her why she would rub that in my face and she said "I showed you that text so you can see that there are real men out there who wont just give bread crumbs to their woman". According to her, all I ever gave her was bread crumbs despite spending hundreds of thousands of dollars of my own money on her over the years, I am now being measured up with random men she met on dating apps. Here's the kicker, we dont live in the USA and she's been talking about wanting to move there for the last couple of years. Interesting how she now suddenly is speaking to a man online from there. You can draw your own conclusion on the motive for that.
The sad part of this all is that despite the resentment, I still love her......
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Well, there you have it. That's the story of my pathetic life. I imagine I will be shamed and told how much of a loser I am and I probably deserve it. Either way, I want to hear what some of you think.

I'm a 31 years old Canadian woman. I take prescription vyvanse (50mg/day), and Valtrex (500mg/day) and when there's an eruption anyway, i have 2000mg twice, twelve hours appart. Ventolin and flovent when needed (salbutamol& fluticasone) I am waiting on a genetics referral to confirm heds. Covid vaccine twice +booster shot (all pfizer) I had a concussion a month ago.
Anything mouth/throat related: I bite my nails. I smoke +/- 10 cigarettes a day and 1 small joint at night. I brush my teeth twice a day, use the purple listerine. I drink alcohol 4 times a year or less. I cannot eat much during the day, I only eat at night when the "grass" help the meds go down.
I work with 3 kids and get sick every other month but since december, it's been different. I lost a little over 15% of my body weight, the first 7% were in the first month after getting reinfected with covid. I've gotten sick with every single cold/flu/etc infection available around me since. In the past five months, I've been Ok for 4 separate weeks. In some instances, I coughed a little blood but it was red, and I assumed it was from irritation. Took doxycycline for a week as prescribed in late april. I could not keep the pill down for more than an hour, but the doctor said it would probably be ok.
I'm sorry about how long this is, but I feel like it's easier to give more details and let you have a clearer picture.
So yeah, to the point. I've been looking at my tonsils every now and then. They get inflammation at least 3 times a year, regularly more often. I've noticed a growth on them. I have neck pains but I got a concussion a month ago and I think that's from that. I had thrush for the first time ever 3 weeks ago, but it might be because of the asthma pumps or the antibiotics, no idea. It's getting way better than it was.
I'll post the pictures in the comments, with arrows. I'm sorry again for how long this is.
Please consider, 🇨🇦 I'm in Canada. I don't have a GP and I do not have a way to get an appointment with a doctor other than visiting the emergency room. (Besides private, but I can't afford it) So you can fairly assume that if it's not "important", I won't see a doctor until there's another big emergency or something that needs treatment right away.
What should I do? (Please refer to the pictures in the comment)

So I (18m) have been gay my entire life, but have recently started developing feelings (at least I think I have) for my best friend who’s a girl. Now I’m not super concerned about the oh labels are dumb, I know bisexuality is a spectrum.
Anyway what I’m trying to get at is I have a really really good Christian relationship with her (let’s call her Sam). Everytime I’m at Sam’s house I’m always surrounded by god. I can feel him everywhere I go. Obviously this feels amazing and I want that. I’ve also had feelings (or at least I think they are) for her for the past 6 years. I can imagine growing old with her. I also know that she has feelings for me as well.
The catch is I have always only wanted to be with men. I hate labels, but I am what you would consider a “bttm”. I want to be held and taken care of by a man. I want to be the little spoon essentially. And I have always just wanted to have a relationship and sex with a man, never a woman.
The catch is with Sam, I love to be close with her. Cuddling and stuff is amazing. And I know we would never do anything that God wouldn’t want us to do. She means so so much to me.
The thing that strikes me, is the thought of having sex with her, let alone any woman, disgusts me. But the idea of having children the “traditional” way gets me excited and happy for the future.
So I’m torn. I want to be in a relationship with a guy, but I’m in love with her. Sam and I have very different goals in life though so I don’t know if it could actually work for us and I don’t want to ruin a best friend relationship with her. I feel god pulling me towards her but I don’t know what he wants:( please please help someone this is eating me up inside.
This also all just causes me to hate being a guy. If I were a girl I could be great and have the things I wanted. A good Christian and do what god wants, and marry a man and be taken care of

I want both men and women on the sub to answer what could be the reason to potentially approach someone who's shorter than you and still freshie in the same career field . Ladies I need honest perspective without the sisterhood .
So yesterday my parents gave me a phone call at night and said that today a family friend brought guardians of a girl unannounced to our house .The girl is same doctor as me but she's 2.5 years older I don't mind that kinda senior in my field . But they asked how tall I was and my parents said around 5'9 they claimed the girl was 5'11 . What I thought would be end of the conversation but they wanted to move along . the family friend has seen me multiple times and knows I kinda look big because of 8 years into lifting anyways they said they only cared if the guy doesn't looks like a child standing next to the woman etc. The only things I'm weirded about is
1 ) My dad is kinda the old school kundli guy so he asked about birth details they said they don't know or remember . I don't care but my dad does.
2) when every 5 feet chick wants a 6 feet and over guy .she's literally 5'11 herself I don't know if its real or exaggeration haven't met her and there would be plenty 6 feet tall guys in this field . 3) both her brothers are lawyers and they seem in some kinda rush or maybe I guess the family friend over exaggerated my dad's prosperity.
4) he told them prior that there's a very slim chance of my parents to agree as she's already 29 and I'm 26 but they're still adamant to try when they even haven't met me and the girl is onboard with it . He said he asked them to look in her age and job experience bracket but they just shrugged it off
Are they trying to pull something off ?

I don’t go out as much so I mostly get things online and I want an online clothing store (plus if it’s a small business) I don’t want shein or anything like that because the quality is horrible but I want something that’s reasonably priced (under $30 for a shirt kinda reasonable) Also I’m a 22 year old woman and my style is ever changing so I’m open to everything.
*They must offer worldwide shipping
Thanks

Hi. Trans woman here. I came out to my grandparents 2.5 years ago. They cut contact with me for the first year. Then consistently deadnamed and misgendered me on purpose. Now they've been trying to get back into my life. They've improved with using my name. My parents want me to heal our relationship.
I'm invited to help my grandfather pick apples on his farm like old times. I have trauma from the farm; I was practically raised as a boy there and was forced to play sports + go to church + do farm work with my male cousins.
I don't enjoy being around these grandparents or that side of the family. I adore my other grandparents, but these particular grandparents and cousins I don't feel comfortable around.
It's hard, but I just want distance from them. Does anyone have tips for how to handle this?

So, of course, we all like tits. Thing is, I really never get hard IRL just from seeing a hot girl or seeing a girl with a really great body. Could be (not sure) because of watching porn/masturbating, and maybe that makes my brain require MORE to get horny. I want to be able to just look at a woman I find attractive and get super fucking horny, hard as a fucking rock. Even just getting horny looking at tits in a bra or ass in a pair of pants would be an improvement. How can I achieve this? To get horny at anything? btw 14 almost 15 (years old)

I (26M) and my wife (32F), who I will call S in this story, recently just had our first child together. When we initially found out she was pregnant, we were estatic, up until name suggestions started. You see, me and my wife met over this webseries called "Madness Combat" and there's a character I used to roleplay as named Jebus. (Silly, I know.) And from our roleplay online is where our love bloomed. Sometimes when I am stressed out or when I need to motivate myself for work, my relationship or whatever I need, I will hype myself as Jebus from Madness Combat. I feel like my wife knows me more as him than my actual self. This is relevant.
Once we found out the gender, a baby girl, we brainstormed. She was set on Delilah, as it was her late mother's name whom passed shortly before my daughters birth. She wanted to immortalize her mother in our child, but that made me uncomfortable, as my daughter is her own person and should not have to be forced to have a dead woman's name out of momentary grief. I suggested we could find an even ground and combine my old online persona with her mother's name, Jeblilah - So she has parts of both of our families in her. Needless to say, she was quite upset by this suggestion and said to drop it.
Well, recently she finally delivered, but it was hard. We almost lost her due to a last minute birthing complication but thank God both my girls made it out safe. When it came time to the name, I couldn't think of anything else Minus Jeblilah since my wife was so upset by my suggestion we never even talked about the baby's name prior to birth. And as my wife was in a medically induced coma to heal from the complications, I couldn't ask her for her intake. So I went with that.
This morning my wife woke up and started crying pure tears of frustration upon hearing what I have done. She called her dad and now she's staying over his house with my newborn. I feel like if she wanted a different name she could've told me, but she didn't beforehand. I am willing to settle on another name, but she doesn't even want to acknowledge I exist at this time. So, reddit, AITA?

I️ have recently gotten into a relationship with my gf. She has one child(2 years old). This is the first woman I have been with, with a child. I️ don't have any myself. I️ have been really struggling with the behavior of her child. I️ don't know what do without making it seems like U hate her child. He's only two and I️ feel like he literally runs her! He doesn't get any discipline, he isn't in daycare, he doesn't have a bedtime, and he throws the worst tantrums! He stays up until atleast 1Am every night on his ipad, and I️ don't feel like I️ get any time with my SO . He will literally fall out in any store we go in, and it is very embarrassing. He tears the entire house up, and doesn't even play with toys really. It's mostly household items! I️ try to give her tips on not letting him have his way with everything just bc he cries but she just continues to let him do whatever. I️ don't want to sound like an awful person, but please help.😕

I'm 31, and for the past 3-4 years I've had terrible bladder and pelvic problems that nobody seems to be able to diagnose or properly treat. At first I thought I was getting recurrent UTIs, but I would go to the doctor and have a negative urine culture test, or they'd give me antibiotics that didn't help. My main complaints are that I feel like I have to pee literally all the time, and like I can't fully empty my bladder. I also have a feeling of fullness in my pelvic area, and sometimes I also have a feeling of pressure low in my bladder or urethra, dull aching, and occasionally lower back pain or pain that seems to travel down my legs.
I got tested for STIs and everything came back clean. AZO doesn't help, antibiotics and D-mannose don't help. Last year I went to Planned Parenthood and they mentioned interstitial cystitis, but I'm just not convinced that I have some kind of mysterious incurable "unexplained pain" condition when other things haven't been ruled out. My last pap was in March and came back normal. I had a thorough pelvic exam and an ultrasound in November 2020, but the ultrasound doctor was an old man who just dismissed my symptoms and didn't really communicate anything about my health. He didn't say "Everything looks good" or anything to that effect. Just did the exam and left without many words.
Eventually, I found a new gynecologist who is a nice younger woman in her late 30s or early 40s. She is fine with doing a hysterectomy, but I have mixed feelings. I am thinking of messaging her and asking if we can do an ultrasound to look for fibroids, or if I should consider a myectomy instead. Then I read posts about fibroids coming back and I'm just not sure. I'm American, and it's already so hard to pay for surgery and get the time off work here in the US; let alone to undergo (potentially) multiple procedures.
I am tired of being in pain/discomfort and sad that if I go through with this, I won't be able to have a child, but also hoping that a hysto will fix the problem and improve my quality of life. Honestly I kind of wish I had had a baby when I was younger, before I developed this health issue, but it just wasn't on the table since I've never found a suitable partner. Now I feel like I am on the cusp of being too old and not sure whether I should hold out and look for answers a little longer, or just go full steam ahead with the hysterectomy.
If you read this far then thanks for listening to me vent. Hoping others have helpful insights and anecdotes to help me decide.

I love my boyfriend very much. We met at work a year ago and nobody's ever loved me this much. He'd do anything for me.
However I just don't see a point anymore. My libido is pretty much gone at only 24 years of age. I don't like kissing. Cuddling is nice but it gets uncomfortable. I hate having to shave and look nice for a man.
Most importantly though, I have zero interest in living with another person. No interest in marriage either, and ESPECIALLY not kids. I just want to live alone and have all my own shit.
Sometimes I wonder what's wrong with me. I'm really not interested in actual relationships. I'd rather just daydream about them sometimes. I used to have a sex drive and that was fun I guess, but it's gone away now. Is this normal behavior for a 24 year old woman or should I talk to someone...?