mahaba ‘to pls bear with it. badly needed lang some advice since most of my friends are still rooting for us. some says, its not a big deal but idk just pls be honest if im the one at fault or not ugh
(go to 8th paragraph if tinatamad u basahin ang backstory huhu)
so it all started shs g11, classmate kami. i have a HUGE crush on him sobra. close kaming dalawa kahit na we're not in the same circle. like ako yung girl na naging super close nya. pero im the type na magaling magtago and never nauuna magconfess. kapag gusto ko, gusto ko talaga. and the good thing is, gustong gusto nya rin ako pero nung malaman ko yun, huli na. when g12 came (same section) i have a new circle which is classmates ko rin, and don ako nagkagusto sa ex bf ko. alam ni ex ko that time na may crush ako kay guy bago pa maging kami. since tinanong ng two guy friends ko (kasama si ex don) kung sino crush ko. ako kase yung tipong magiging jowa lang kita kapag nag start tayo as friends, pansin ko lang. my ex was my first love. and ako rin yung first nya in everything. sobrang minahal ko si ex. basta sobrang love ko sya based sa diary ko na kapag binabasa ko ngayon parang di kaya ni 18y/o self mabuhay na wala si ex.
btw, friends din silang dalawa kasi parehas sila ng vibes. weird noh, di ko magets. like imagine, my ex knew i liked that guy before. and him? alam nyang nagkakadevelop-an na kami ni ex. so yun nga, nagconfess sya sa akin that time kaso nagkakaroon na ako feelings kay ex, ugh bish, sobrang torn ako that time kung alam nyo lang. bakit kasi ngayon lang sya nagconfess!! i liked him a lot, imagine nagconfess crush mo wow. like damn, sobrang gwapo nya im telling u and sobrang gustong gusto ko sya before. sobrang ilap nyan kapag may nagkakagusto sa kanya. basta laughtrip. anyways, di ko sya directly nireject kasi di ko kaya unlike sa mga naunang nagconfess sa akin na wala lang.
fast forward, si ex pinili ko that time. nagbreak kami ni ex after grad ng shs. GURL, parang gumuho ang mundo ko haha like bish pls ganun pala ang ‘heartbreak,’ sobrang sakit literal haha nagclosure pa kaming dalawa before we part ways, iyak kaming dalawa sobra kase love pa namin isa't isa.
after a month, nagchat sya sa akin. i was shocked kase different college na us pero nagchat pa rin sya wtf. kinumusta nya ako, sabi ko im sad ganern and sabi ko wala na pero im not pertaining to my ex directly. and fuck myself lang kasi sinabi ko rin that time na 'chat mo ko para di ako masad.' actually confused ako that time kasi di na sya nagreply pero little did i know na nahurt ko pala sya sobra :(( sorry talaga ah potek
then after ilang months, i heard the news na wala na si ex. guys haha, gumuho mundo ko that time. like muntikan na akong mairreg sa school. i thought end of the world na. pero yung last chats namin is yung nagpart ways kami with letters thru docs
nawalan ako gana sa lahat, basta lahat. di ko nga maimagine na ganun yung nafeel ko before unless binabasa ko yung diary. kaya im telling u, kung sino man ang naffeel 'to ngayon, pls maniwala kayo u will get through it promise!!
after a year living like a ghost, i tried to entertain some boys pero wala talaga hahah di ko talaga trip kahit for 1 week lang na chat chat haha. like sabi ko sa kanila, i dont want a relationship. NEVER. PERIOD. pero kinain ko yan lahat nang mag missed call sya sa akin haha and behold nagbabalik, my TOTGA. yup, u read it right. yung super crush ko before nag missed call sa akin. fast forward, naging kami. yup, u read it right again. and dito na ako hihingi ng advice, thank u kung nakaabot ka rito hahahahahha utas sorry na ang haba ko magkwento, daming commercial.
NGSB sya. ako lang yung girl na sobrang close nya, ako lang yung una nyang niligawan, sa akin lang sya nagconfess, and he's a date-to-marry kind of guy. no, scratch that, sa akin nya lang gustong ikasal. kung hindi ako, wag na lang. yup, ganun sya kung iddescribe. btw, im his first. first sa lahat, literal. and sobrang sya affected kapag di okay yung relationship namin.
mind you, sobrang love na love na love na love ko rin sya. so yun nga, smooth sailing ang aming relationship kahit na pandemic to post-pandemic. kaso nga lang, nagkaproblem.
nakita ko yung search list nya sa fb, mostly gurls na 'u know' malaswa idk. plus yung dati nyang crush nung g10. pero wait!! no chats, add, follow, likes, comments, hearts kahit san pa yan. walang ganun. as in. PERO KAHIT NA!!!
imagine, the betrayal i felt? tama nga yung mga nababasa ko, alam mo yung nanlalamig ka tas di makahinga wtf sobrang sama sa pakiramdam like pano pa kaya yung iba na physical cheat ah potek di ko maimagine
'1) is it microcheating ba???' kase even me, im fucking confused. anyways nung malaman ko yun, chinat ko agad sya. minura ko and all, SOBRA. like sobrang mura, lahat ng mura sinabi ko na at lahat ng masasakit at below the belt na salita, sinabi ko na rin. para akong bomba. tinadtad ko sya ng mga chats. yung cousin ko na pro-me, naawa sa kanya ng sobra. and even my bff told me na nakakatakot daw ako and kung sya daw yun is di nya kakayanin.
after ng chats ko, tawag sya nang tawag, sobrang daming missed calls, tapos chinat nya yung close friend ko nung shs, kase sobrang hiyang hiya sya sa akin. tapos after a while, naglong mess sya. super sorry sya and nagmamakaawa.
guys, mabait kasi ako. nagpupustahan pa mga tao kung nakita na nila akong magalit at sumigaw. plus never ako nagmura ng tagalog. i hate 'tagalog' cursing. eh that time talaga pinuta ko sya and tinanga plus bobo, landi, hayok na hayok, nakakadiri, plus sinabi ko pa na putahin nya yung g10 crush nya magsama sila, kantutin nya and everything. ramdam ko naffrustrate sya sa mga sinasabi ko pero sorry sya wala akong pake. sobrang sorry sya nang sorry and tangang tanga sya sa sarili nya
'2) tama ba yung reaction ko or too much?'
eto possible reason nya,

1. kapag magkaaway kasi kami lagi raw ako nagagalit sa kanya, kapag nakakita sya ganun parang nakakaganti sya
2. naaalala nya yung past (shs) and ginawa ko sa kanya (*pinaasa ko raw sya) '3) sa tingin nyo, pinaasa ko ba sya before?
3. di sya first ko
4. di sya makaget over na kung may gusto ako sa kanya nung g11, bakit pa ako nagkagusto sa iba. lagi nya yan tinatanong sa akin even now. sya kasi, hindi nya ako ippursue kung hindi ako yung nakikita nya in the future.

alam nyo one time, commercial break ulit, nakwento nya sa akin isang beses na sobrang nasasaktan sya before na nakikita nya kami ni ex magkasama kaya ginagawa nya di na sya pumapasok or nagdodota na lang.
pero sabi nya kahit anong reason pa yun, di pa rin majjustify yung ginawa nya, sobra. sobrang sorry na sorry sya. babawi sya, gagawin nya lahat kaya wag ko raw sya iiwan, di nya raw kakayanin, etc. wala akong balak reply-an sya, kahit araw araw syang nagcchat at tumatawag kaso natatakot ako eh, sobrang mahal na mahal na mahal ko ga yun. alam mo kung ibang tao yan? nablocked ko na plus di na ako paparamdam. kaya kong mag move-on, nakaya ko nga dun sa ex ko, yan pa kayang may ginawa sa akin? i hate cheating to the core of the universe. yan pinakaayaw ko. pero potek, sobrang mahal ko ga yan haha. literal na para sa akin, soulmate ko sya. and sya lang talaga ever nakita ko in the future. alam nyo yung tipong sya lang yung gwapo sa paningin ko, no bias 'to ha kahit na tunay na gwapo talaga sya, pero legit. sya lang nakikita ng mata ko. lahat ng makita ko, normal looking na like may mata, ilong, bibig. kaso wala eh, dahil sa ginawa nya naappreaciate ko na beauty ng iba. potek na yan. sarap kasi gumanti.
back to the topic, kahit galit ako after a while nirereply-an ko pero pagalit, kasi natatakot ako na baka may gawin syang di ko kayanin. like sabi ko nga sa inyo, affected sya sobra kapag about sa akin. and naaalala ko yung kay ex, kaya from time to time titingnan ko kung nag oonline sya tas makakahinga ako maluwag.
pero yeah, inaccept ko sya. i gave him a second chance. kaso eto nga yung PINAKA PROBLEM. like kayo na mag judge if ako ba may fault or nah. skl, i hate myself kasi naging sensitive ako kahit isang poncio pilato na makarinig ako ng babaeng name, napipikon na ako.
pero alam nyo, advice ko lang, love urself first bago kayo pumasok sa relationship kase if ever may gawin yung guy, di bababa yung tingin nyo sa sarili nyo. kase guys never ko naisip na ano wala sa akin bat nya ginawa yun or kapag nakakakita ako like magandang girl, maiinsecure ako pero nope. kase alam ko maganda ako and alam ko yung worth ko. like bitch pls, lalaki talaga may kasalanan ugh landi kasi kainis.
4) im asking for advice kasi after 8 months, nabring up ko pa rin. promise, im trying. kaya nga nakagawa na ako ng sobrang habang ganto kasi nag away kami today hehe kasi nabring up ko ulit because he's asking for smth eh napikon ako. so okay lang ba once in a while na masabi ko ulit yun?
BTW, the 'microcheating' happened 8 months ago na, and so far, wala naman iba after nun and wala na akong pake kung gawin nya yun ulit, edi kapag nahuli ciao na for real hahaha. no third chances kasi para sa mga tang- na yun.
BTW, add ko lang, i never asked for his accounts. talagang pinilit nya lang ako magexchange kami ng insta. tho kagagawa nya pa lang ig, kase wala naman sya ganun. eh dun ko sya nahuli because of meta diba (fb&ig). after nun, nah di ko na hiningi kasi wala na akong pake hahah mastress lang ako.
*idk if eto na yung pinakamahabang post dito huhu sorry na

First off, congrats to everyone for the past application cycle! No matter what your outcome was, it's a big accomplishment to have gone through the whole process. I'm a non-trad who was accepted to Queen's this year, on my 2nd application cycle. I will be 27 when I start this Fall. It feels surreal and I always told myself I'd write a post about my journey if this day ever came - and here we are.
I didn't decide to apply to med school until after I finished undergrad, and while doing my research, I always wished I could read/hear perspectives from others with my background. Even though everybody's path will be different, I hope that my story can provide some insight (or even hope) for other non-trad applicants out there.
Before we start, here are my stats because that's important:

• cGPA, OMSAS: 3.53
• wGPA, UBC: ~85%
• MCAT: 515 (127/129/130/129)
• Casper: 4th
• IP: BC and ON

I'll go in chronological order, briefly describing some of the major events that led me to today, starting from high school. Please ask me any questions in the comments - (almost) nothing is off limits :)
TLDR: I was a software engineer who quit after a year to go to grad school and pursue medicine. It took me 4 years from when I decided to pursue this to getting accepted at a Canadian school. I did a Masters in stats and applied 2 times. My biggest takeaway is to do a lot of what you are passionate about, do it well, and take it far (for me, that was teaching and research).
Some demographics:

• My parents and I immigrated to Canada from Asia when I was 3
• I grew up in the GTA and did undergrad in Ontario
• I'm the first person in my family to pursue med school. My immediate family and I are the only people in our whole family who live outside of Asia, and nobody in my parents' network of family friends is in healthcare either.

High school, 2011-2015: I was always interested in medicine as a kid, but math was always my favourite subject. I applied to several science and math programs, and was choosing between Western Med Sci and Waterloo Math. I did not apply to Mac Health Sci and looking back, I'm not sure why (perhaps a sign that I didn't believe in myself). I ended up choosing Waterloo Math and giving up on the medical school route in grade 12, for a few reasons: the math program had 6 co-op terms, meaning I'd graduate with 2 full-time years of job experience, and I wasn't particularly good at biology and didn't have strong reasons for pursuing medicine back then. Med school also seemed like an impossible goal, especially since I didn't have any mentors in the field.
Undergrad, 2015-2020: This was honestly a fun time for me. I double-majored in stats and CS and I did 6 co-ops, 5 of which were in software engineering roles. I had originally planned to do actuarial science, but quickly saw the earning potential in the tech industry and made it my goal to get a job at a big tech company. A lot of personal stuff happened during this time as well that affirmed my decision pursue a software engineering career. One part of it was that I didn't want my parents to worry about me, and being able to show them that I was able to do well for myself in tech felt really good.
Halfway through my co-ops, I realized that I wasn't feeling the most fulfilled in software roles, but management roles also didn't appeal to me. I didn't really take the time to fully explore this feeling, and it was easy to put it away in light of the high income and getting to live in big cities for internships. Still, I did well in my co-ops and built up my software skills. After realizing that "grades don't matter for getting tech jobs", I let my grades slip. It wasn't until 4th year that I decided I wanted to keep the door open for grad school, and starting taking classes I liked and getting better grades. I graduated with an 82% average, with my grades all over the place (which I'd later learn was bad for calculating my OMSAS gpa lol).
Throughout undergrad, I still wanted to be involved in clubs and stuff, so here's a list of all my undergrad ECs. All these were only 4-8 months long.

• 1st year: I was a member and president of my first year residence council
• 2nd year: I was in a leadership position at the statistics club
• 3rd year: I was an event coordinator for co-op students in a city away from home
• also 3rd year: I was part of a club that builds software for non-profits

Another activity from undergrad that made it onto my application was a research project I did at one of my co-ops. It was in NLP and I worked on it even after finishing that coop term. It ended up taking 4 years to get published.
Full-time software engineering, 2020-2021: I signed a return offer from one of my co-ops, and had planned to move to Seattle in the summer after graduating to start working. But Covid changed all that. I moved back home with my parents in the GTA and worked at my software job remotely for the full year.
It was during this year that I was really feeling unfulfilled in my job, and did a lot of thinking about how I wanted my career to look. I started to remember that med school was something that I once wanted to do, and I also started reading/watching a lot of content from people in medicine with non-traditional backgrounds. My partner, who is also from Ontario, was accepted to an international med school, and many of our friends were also getting into schools in Canada around the same time, so this reaffirmed to me that it was actually possible. While working for the year, I made a plan to apply to grad school (academia would be my back-up) and take the MCAT. Here's what my 2020-2021 looked like:

• July: started full-time work
• December-January: wrote personal statements and applied to 5 Masters programs in biostatistics
• February-April: acceptances to Masters programs came in, and I was studying for the MCAT
• June: took the MCAT, scored 508, and told my manager that I'd be leaving by August to start grad school

During this year, I also wrote out a 3-year plan that included my masters and 2 application cycles. I wrote out what courses I would take to fulfill prereqs, which schools I would apply to each year, and what my back-up plan would be. I think this was important to do rigorously since it gave me a clear idea of which schools I was eligible for, and how much work it would take me to become eligible for the rest of them.
I will also add that this is a rather objective recount of my process that year. In reality, I completely recognized how insane it was to quit my job to go to grad school, and I'm super lucky that I was able to.
Grad school, 2021-2023: I moved to BC to start my Masters in statistics in August. This choice was partly to gain IP status in BC, but mostly, this was really the best program for me out of the schools I applied to. Even looking back now, I would have chosen this program even without the IP consideration.
Here's a breakdown of everything I did during the first year of my Masters:

• Started a new volunteering role (tutoring) right away. Still doing this today, almost 3 years later.
• Took a first year English class to fulfill the UBC requirement. Side note: it felt very odd being a 25-year-old in a class of 18-year-olds, but I did well in both classes probably because of being older. At first, I dreaded taking these classes since English was never my strong suit. But being older meant that I allowed myself to be truly curious about the topics being taught, and I treated it more as an experience to learn more about the world than to just check off some boxes.
• Took the MCAT again, at the end of my first year of MSc. I had already confirmed a supervisor by then, and thankfully she is/was incredibly supportive of my goals. I took it in June 2022 and got 515.
• TA'd stats courses throughout the year
• Started working on my thesis research with my supervisor

First application, 2022: I applied only to UBC for my first application cycle. In retrospect, I should have just applied broadly right away, but I didn't feel like I had enough references built up by then. And UBC doesn't require references unless you get an interview. I honestly had very high hopes of getting an interview this year, and was crushed to receive a rejection in December with an NAQ of 50-75. I thought that my application was unique, but upon reflection, I realized that the lack of volunteering and community service was a big gap in my application.
So here's a breakdown of everything I did in my second year of my Masters and beyond:

• TA'd stats courses throughout the year, and was the head TA for one of them (I think this showed leadership and commitment to teaching)
• Started another volunteering role at the food bank
• Took another first-year English course
• Continued my research with my supervisor
• Got offered (and started) a lecturer role for an undergrad course at the university, which was such an amazing opportunity. My supervisor helped me a lot with getting this position, since I TA'd for her one semester and she recommended me to the department. This was a class of 150, and I was also in charge of a few TAs. I ended up teaching this class 2 more times after this!
• Finished my Masters in August 2023
• Started working full-time as a biostatistician in September 2023
• A first-author paper I started working on during undergrad was accepted in Fall 2023. I had been working on this on-and-off for the past 4 years so it was incredible for the work to finally pay off!

Second application, 2023: This time, I applied to UBC and every school in Ontario that I was eligible for: Queen's and Mac. I was rejected by UBC pre-interview again. Same NAQ, and my total score didn't change. I was totally crushed and thought it was over for this year. I was very honest with myself about the Ontario applications - Mac was a total throwaway application and Queen's felt like a complete gamble. I was rejected from Mac pre-interview but one fateful day in January, I received an email from Queen's. It had a very generic "Application Status" subject line and I opened it fully expecting a rejection. I was totally shocked when it said I was invited for the MMI! And a few months later, I was also invited to the Panel.
Some of my thoughts and preparation for the interviews:
MMI - Aside from the usual resources that are posted here, I also took advantage of the following:

• Support system: I had a lot of support from my partner, who had gone through MMIs from non-Canadian schools, and many of my friends who were already in med school.
• Resources: I paid for a prep session on AcceptedTogether and had a positive experience there. I also used the BrightStudent question bank and although the questions were good, the explanations and overall experience were mid. But their YouTube video was extremely useful.
• Mindset: Throughout my whole MMI prep, I was honestly very interested in exploring each prompt, and I think this mindset was extremely beneficial for making my answers both unique and genuine. During my Masters, I also took a class that covered topics in social determinants of health, and I semi-regularly enjoy reading about current events in this area, so both of those pieces of background were super helpful for me.

Panel - I was so happy to receive a panel interview, and knew that I could not mess this up. I prepped with a few different friends of mine who were in med school, and another friend who was going through Ontario interviews too. Going in, I felt very prepared, and in the days leading up to it, I even felt like my answers were on autopilot and a bit over-prepared. So I really tried to relax and "be myself"/answer genuinely during the panel. The real panel felt quite cold - I didn't get any feedback from my interviewers, and was a bit thrown off by some of the questions. I was also cut off by the Kira Talent timer at the end, and didn't get to say goodbye or thank you. For the rest of the day, I ruminated on all my answers. The content of my answers felt somewhere between "why would I say that" and "just fine" and "great", but I was definitely feeling a bit bad about the whole experience.
Decision Week, 2024: That brings us to this week! In the week leading up to the decision, I flip flopped between "My panel hated me, there's no way I passed the vibe check" and "My answers were good, my MMI felt good, why wouldn't they accept me". I opened the email at 6am (Pacific time) with zero expectations - I truly had no idea what was waiting for me on the other side. The first word was "Congratulations!" and I didn't read much farther than that before I started celebrating :)
So that's it. I told a lot of people I work with, my Masters supervisor, my parents, and my friends, and it felt amazing to deliver this good news. My closing thoughts about my whole journey are that even though I do think my application was great, I still got incredibly lucky. At any point in the process, I could have gotten an undesirable outcome, and there was nothing I could do to control that (other than my efforts prior). I also relied a lot on my support system, and was so lucky to have had + made friends who are in med school or were practising already.
I just feel so grateful to be starting this Fall, and I'm happy to say that my high school self would be in absolute disbelief if she could see where I am today. That statement is a sign to me that I'm on the right path, and I'm just so excited to be starting this long, hard career that is medicine.
If you've made it to the end, thank you for reading!! If you can relate to any part of my journey and have questions, please send me a comment or DM - my inbox is always open.

Context, I'm in Asia working with an American team. Our job deals with a lot of "it depends" and each task we receive can vary a lot in the details and those details dictate how we handle said task. I have this fairly senior coworker who never fails to include the listed phrases below whenever I ask her a question: 1) "You should already know this when you were trained about this" (the training was months ago and doesn't apply exactly to the situation at hand) 2) "Write this in your little notes, your little notebook" with an elementary school teacher voice 3) "If you just read the handbook, you'd know" again, we deal with a lot of varying situations that the handbook def doesn't have all the answers for. Besides, being by the book is not the only way to deal with our non life threatening tasks. It's just emails ffs. 4) "if you just scroll down and read the email--" I'm not asking about what is mentioned, I'm asking about how to deal with this specific issue So on and so forth. There's always a side comment whenever we talk to her and it's grating on my nerves. She never just discusses the confusion and how to solve it, she has to say a tidbit about how we just need to read or think or something that due to the nature of our job just ain't gonna work. It's not like she's perfect and she also confirms and asks alot from the more senior (and kinder) American employee. Am I overreacting and this is just how Americans communicate? Everything she says is politely coded so there's no overtly aggressive tones but I can feel the condescension radiating from her tone and words.

i'm a sophomore who's currently taking biology as I was placed in earth science last year and I couldn't change my schedule. and my school requires I take honors physics before I can take the only AP physics course they have: APphysics 1.
i want to major in computer engineering or CS, so taking the hardest physics course available would be important.
I most likely won't able to take APP1 as 1: my school requires I take chem before physics and won't let me take them co-currently. 2: if I were to take it over the summer (which is what I'm doing with algebra II) I would have to take it at our local community college which typically cost $180 per course.
so considering my situation, would not taking the most rigourous physics course and maybe instead making it up with AP chem senior year weaken my application to selective colleges?

I have depression. Depression is a mental illness that negatively affects my mood and actions. I've been diagnosed with it. It cannot be fixed or changed. I've been depressed since I was in middle school and there are signs that i was depressed and had mental health issues from my early childhood. I've done everything to try to fix my depression from Therapy to medication, but it will always be there because it is clinical. Deep down i know depression is a permanent problem and im very possitive that at some point in the future it will kill me. Thats all I wanted to say.

Spiritual Growth

1. Daily Prayer: Commit to daily prayer sessions asking for strength and guidance.
2. Scripture Reading: Read and meditate on scriptures that focus on strength and recovery.
3. Worship: Participate in regular worship services to reinforce your spiritual foundation.
4. Faith Affirmations: Use Bible verses as affirmations; repeat them during cravings.
5. Confession: Regularly confess struggles to a trusted spiritual leader or trusted friend.
6. Fasting: Occasionally fast to seek clarity and reinforce spiritual discipline.
7. Spiritual Retreats: Attend retreats for focused spiritual renewal.
8. Christian Meditation: Practice Christian meditation (pondering scripture, etc.) to calm the mind and spirit.
9. Listening to Gospel Music: Use uplifting music to enhance spiritual connection.
10. Prayer Journaling: Keep a journal of prayers and God’s responses.

Community Engagement

1. Church Support Groups: Join groups for individuals struggling with addiction.
2. Accountability Partner: Partner with a fellow believer who can provide support and accountability.
3. Volunteering: Engage in church-related volunteer work to stay busy and inspired.
4. Christian Counseling: Seek professional counseling from a Christian perspective.
5. Family Involvement: Involve your family in your journey through church events.
6. Youth Mentorship: Mentor youth, sharing your experiences and learning from service.
7. Online Christian Communities: Participate in online forums or groups for spiritual support.
8. Testimony Sharing: Share your journey at church gatherings to inspire and receive support.
9. Bible Study Groups: Regularly attend Bible study to deepen faith and community ties.
10. Church Activities: Be an active participant in church events and functions.

Personal Development

1. Routine Exercise: Incorporate regular physical activity to reduce stress.
2. Healthy Diet: Maintain a nutritious diet to improve overall well-being.
3. Reading Christian Literature: Read books that encourage spiritual growth and recovery.
4. Creative Arts: Use arts like painting or writing to express feelings and reflect.
5. Time Management: Structure your day to minimize idle time that could lead to cravings.
6. Goal Setting: Set short and long-term goals that align with your spiritual values.
7. Learning New Skills: Take up hobbies or classes that keep you engaged and learning.
8. Rest and Sleep: Ensure sufficient rest to maintain physical and mental health.
9. Nature Walks: Spend time in nature to find peace and perspective.
10. Avoiding Triggers: Identify and avoid situations or people that trigger cravings.

Coping Techniques

1. Deep Breathing: Practice deep breathing exercises during moments of craving.
2. Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness to stay present and reduce anxiety.
3. Assertiveness Training: Learn to assertively say no to temptations.
4. Stress Management: Develop strategies to handle stress without resorting to substances.
5. Emotional Journaling: Use journaling to process emotions healthily.
6. Self-Reflection: Regularly reflect on personal progress and setbacks.
7. Positive Visualization: Use visualization techniques to imagine a sober life.
8. Gratitude Lists: Regularly list things you are grateful for.
9. Reward System: Set up a reward system for reaching sobriety milestones.
10. Relaxation Techniques: Learn and apply relaxation techniques.

Support Systems

1. Peer Support: Regularly meet with a peer group for encouragement and advice.
2. Spiritual Guidance: Seek regular guidance from a pastor or spiritual mentor.
3. Therapeutic Relationships: Maintain therapeutic relationships that reinforce recovery.
4. Family Counseling: Engage in family counseling to repair relationships affected by addiction.
5. Professional Help: Don’t hesitate to seek help from addiction specialists.
6. Educational Workshops: Attend workshops that teach coping skills for addiction.
7. Supportive Friends: Cultivate friendships with those who support your recovery journey.
8. Avoiding Negative Influences: Steer clear of environments and individuals that undermine recovery.
9. Church Elders: Reach out to church elders for wisdom and support.
10. Sponsorship: Consider a 12-step program with a sponsor who shares your faith.

Renewal and Reflection

1. Anniversary Reflections: Reflect on the progress made over each year of recovery.
2. Spiritual Renewal Days: Designate days for intensified prayer and meditation.
3. Baptism or Re-baptism: Consider this as a symbolic fresh start.
4. Witnessing to Others: Use your story to help others in their battles with addiction.
5. Spiritual Literature: Delve deeper into spiritual texts for insights and inspiration.
6. Pastoral Visits: Invite pastoral visits for home blessing and personal encouragement.
7. Renewing Vows: Renew personal vows of sobriety in a ceremonial way.
8. Pilgrimage: Undertake a spiritual pilgrimage as a form of personal and spiritual exploration.
9. Reflection Retreats: Engage in retreats specifically focused on overcoming past habits.
10. Memorializing Milestones: Create physical or digital memorials of your recovery milestones.

Emotional Resilience

1. Emotional Awareness: Develop awareness of emotions and triggers that lead to cravings.
2. Seek Forgiveness: Embrace forgiveness, both from others and for yourself.
3. Offer Forgiveness: Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt you, releasing bitterness.
4. Spiritual Songs: Sing or listen to spiritual songs that uplift and comfort.
5. Hope Messages: Write down messages of hope and revisit them during tough times.
6. Encouragement Letters: Write letters of encouragement to yourself for future moments of weakness.
7. Daily Devotionals: Follow a daily devotional plan that addresses addiction recovery.
8. Prayer Chains: Initiate or join prayer chains for continuous spiritual support.
9. Healing Services: Attend healing services focused on emotional and spiritual restoration.
10. Scriptural Promises: Memorize promises from the Bible that assure support and deliverance.

Social Connectivity

1. Social Activities: Organize or participate in sober social gatherings with fellow church members.
2. Church Family Outreach: Engage in church family outreach programs to build a supportive community.
3. Mentoring Others: Become a mentor to others struggling with addiction, sharing lessons and faith.
4. Recovery Testimonials: Regularly give testimonials at recovery meetings to inspire and affirm.
5. Family Devotions: Hold regular devotions with family to strengthen bonds and mutual support.
6. Prayer Groups: Form or join small prayer groups focused on overcoming addiction.
7. Christian Conferences: Attend Christian conferences on recovery and personal growth.
8. Community Service Projects: Lead or participate in community service projects to foster a sense of purpose.
9. Recovery Celebrations: Celebrate recovery milestones with your church community.
10. Faith-Based Podcasts: Listen to and discuss faith-based podcasts on overcoming challenges.

Mindset and Lifestyle

1. Optimism: Cultivate an optimistic outlook based on faith and hope in God’s plan.
2. Daily Affirmations: Start the day with Christian affirmations about strength and recovery.
3. Mindfulness of God’s Presence: Continuously remind yourself of God’s presence in your life.
4. Avoiding Idleness: Keep yourself busy with meaningful activities that align with Christian values.
5. Spiritual Biographies: Read biographies of Christians who overcame significant struggles.
6. Health Check-Ups: Regularly attend health check-ups to monitor physical health during recovery.
7. Sabbath Rest: Observe Sabbath rest as a time to rejuvenate spiritually and physically.
8. Christian Movies: Watch movies with Christian themes that reinforce your resolve and values.
9. Spiritual Accountability: Regularly review your spiritual and recovery progress with a mentor.
10. Prayer Walks: Incorporate prayer walks as a way to combine physical activity and spiritual meditation.

Continued Learning and Growth

1. Biblical Courses: Take courses on biblical studies that relate to healing and redemption.
2. Spiritual Workshops: Attend workshops that focus on spiritual growth and overcoming addictions.
3. Faith-Based Counseling Techniques: Learn counseling techniques that are based on Christian principles.
4. Scripture Memorization: Engage in scripture memorization to strengthen spiritual warfare against cravings.
5. Pastoral Workshops: Participate in workshops offered by pastors that focus on living a sober life.
6. Faith and Science: Explore the intersection of faith and science in understanding addiction.
7. Christian Leadership Courses: Take courses in Christian leadership to empower your role in the community.
8. Retelling Your Story: Learn to retell your story in ways that highlight God’s grace and your growth.
9. Spiritual Discernment: Enhance spiritual discernment to recognize paths and choices that support sobriety.
10. Continuous Prayer: Maintain an attitude of continuous prayer, acknowledging dependence on God for daily victory over addiction.

DRW is a diversified trading firm with over 3 decades of experience bringing sophisticated technology and exceptional people together to operate in markets around the world. We value autonomy and the ability to quickly pivot to capture opportunities, so we operate using our own capital and trading at our own risk.
Headquartered in Chicago with offices throughout the U.S., Canada, Europe, and Asia, we trade a variety of asset classes including Fixed Income, ETFs, Equities, FX, Commodities and Energy across all major global markets. We have also leveraged our expertise and technology to expand into three non-traditional strategies: real estate, venture capital and cryptoassets.
We operate with respect, curiosity and open minds. The people who thrive here share our belief that it’s not just what we do that matters–it's how we do it. DRW is a place of high expectations, integrity, innovation and a willingness to challenge consensus.
We are looking for passionate Software Engineers to join our team. You will develop critical software that our traders, researchers and engineering teams use to implement and analyze our algorithmic trading strategies. As a member of our team, you will be surrounded by cutting-edge technology and senior technologists providing you with the best possible environment to succeed.
How you will make an impact:

Building scalable and performant software using software engineering best practices Analyzing and discussing requirements from stakeholders Facilitating discussions on code implementation, testing, software architecture best practices Driving projects and leading new initiatives Actively engaging with others on the development team to resolve challenging design and coding issues 

What you bring to the team:

A Bachelor’s or a Master’s degree in Computer Science, Software Engineering or equivalent experience Strong understanding of software development principles and best practices Strong verbal and written communication skills in English Dedicated team player and a passionate problem solver with strong interpersonal skills Experience with Go Passion for clean code, software and systems architecture, and building robust, performant, and maintainable systems Experience working with Linux systems, client/server protocols, distributed and event-driven systems, data storage systems, data pipelines, and containers in a cloud environment Some experience with frontend development would be an asset 

Read more / apply: https://www.golangprojects.com/golang-go-job-gni-Software-Engineer-Golang-Network-Ops-Solutions-London-DRW.html

First full year to enter middle school in mid 20s
10s/20s hybrids
First to graduate in 2030s
First to enter school after trump and brexit
First to not be a pre-teen during peak covid (9-12 tween range)
First full year to be born after arab spring, occupy wall street and the release of snapchat
first year to turn a teenager in the 2nd quarter of the 21st Century
First to be born when smartphones became ubiquitous over 50%

Does anyone else have a signature project in high school or something that’s similar? My school requires us to work on this project called a signature project for all 4 years of high school, each year building off the other. This project focuses on a societal issue and each year we’re required to do a certain something. For example, for junior year we were required to hold two events with at least 20 people attending both. In senior year, we have to hold an exhibition. For my exhibition my partner and I created a children’s book on our topic and read it to children. This project is so draining and next week we’re supposed to present everything we’ve done and defend our project to a panel of teachers. I would love to know if other schools are doing this as well. This project is supposed to replace finals/community service at my school.

I've experienced dysphoria and sapphic attraction since I can remember. But since all of the online sources for queer identity I found as a stupid impressionable kid were created by fellow stupid ignorant teens (and predatory grown-ass TERFs), I felt like a monstrous predator for being sapphic while also feeling dysphoria over my forced-femininity.
So I repressed my sapphic attraction in order to transition; I felt like I was just confused, like it HAD to be one or the other.
And because I repressed my attraction to women, I assumed I was aroace (went back and forth on that or a "repressed queer man"...) because I'm not really attracted to anyone else!!! I wanted to kiss girls, but I convinced myself THAT was "compulsory heterosexuality" somehow....
Like... I've identified as kinda-trans and kinda-aroace for almost a decade, have been transitioning for four years (T for 2.5), and I only realized LAST WEEK why I feel uncomfortable in queer male and FtM spaces. 😐
I now have a) no idea how to come out AGAIN to my family, b) get over the fear that my local queer community will shun me over my actual identity, and c) get over the bitterness over having lost my youth to denial and self-hatred. Like, I had a girl (who I REALLY liked at the time) ask me out in high school and I REFUSED because I felt like that was "forbidden".......
Anyway thanks for reading this!

How viable is this to achieve? I plan on finding a teacher (or multiple ones from which I would learn all at once) who would systematically teach me everything there is to learn, from solfege, music theory, harmony to composition and everything in-between, all under 3 months. I have the advantage of being a relatively young person, meaning that my brain is incredibly neuroplastic and can learn everything incredibly fast, and I'm also very motivated and ambitious. After I finish my exams, I'm going to find a teacher who is open-minded enough to be up to the challenge (cramming 12 years of material + another 3-4 into a digestible and teachable form for a complete begginer and teaching it in 3 month). I'm willing to pay over 50 euros for each lesson, I have a well-paid job and virtually no expenses, if that would implicate my teacher into putting the effort.
The way I perceive learning to compose is analogical to learning linguistics or mathematics from scratch. You first learn everything intuitively so you can communicate in the language. Then you understand all the intricacies and mechanisms of the language, afterwards which you apply your newly-found knowledge into practice. Slowly, you learn everything more profoundly and in-depth than you ever did, until you can completely abandon theory and focus purely on practice. I've already mentally divided the entire process of learning this specific subject into multiple stages, going in great detail over the problems I might encounter, their respective solutions, how I should approach each stage, all while making sure that I learn everything as efficiently as possible, I just need a source of information. For the record, I'm confident that I could learn all of linguistics and mathematics in under 3 months, instead of 12 years at school. I could get the first 10 years done in 2 weeks but I dont know about the more advanced levels, and I also don't know how well this analogically applies to the entirety of music theory.
I need a teacher who will go over everything until I've systematically and rigorously learnt everything. How possible is this to accomplish? And please, don't have a snobbish attitude regarding my ambitions. I'm a begginer like everyone else was at one point. Otherwise, I'm going to be deeply thankful for anyone who is going to put in the time and effort to read my post.

I (18f) have been interested alot in studying and working in the Netherlands, just want to know about the demand for English teachers in the Netherlands for elementary/ middle school . I'm also interested in teaching math for elementary to highschool students just curious if the Netherlands accepts students that aren't from the EEA and how that usually goes (like requirements for example) especially for the pursuit of education

I’m currently a junior in high school and i’ve taken an accounting 1 class and really enjoyed it, planning on taking 2 and 3 for senior year. Is accounting really a career that I should consider? I’ve read tons of things online about wlb sucking and the CPA exam sounds like a super stressful experience from what i’ve read. Also to get the CPA don’t you need 5 college years basically? Another thing is that i dont want to go into a field where its super competitive, so is it hard to get a scholarship from B4 if you go to a decent uni? Honestly just having that stress over what im gonna do for my life and i still have another school year till college.

TL;DR (18m) I was planning on going to college for game development but I don't think I want a career in that. I just want to do my own thing and hopefully get big. Biology seems cool.
I want to be an independent game developer. I have my own game idea and I'm really passionate about it. I’d make it even if I couldn’t make money off of it. It has a bunch of creatures based on real life biology, it's called speculative evolution. Kinda like Subnautica or James Cameron’s Avatar. Like alien animals and aren’t just monsters. I animate all the characters and creatures and want the game to have a hand drawn style like Hollow Knight.
Due to my interest in video games and digital arts / animation, I applied to an art school with a game design major, within walking distance from my high school. I visited it during my art classes and found the environment inviting. There were nice studio spaces and the students there looked really fun to be around. The Game Design professor was really nice to listen to during the Open House. All these together, alongside transportation issues led me to tunnel vision into this school. When I got the financial aid package, I started rethinking the idea of going. I assumed it would cover most of the cost since my family is low income and I have a lot of siblings. The school seems really nice but I don’t want to have 100K in student loans.
I didn’t apply anywhere else until recently. This year's FAFSA was delayed by a lot which made applying to other schools a bit tricky. I got accepted into a state school which offers more stuff too.
All the game developer layoffs and crunch time stuff, I don’t really think I want to do that. I of course want to make my own game. Like alone, in an apartment or my own little studio space or something. Being able to be a concept artist would be awesome, but it’s like super competitive and there’s also AI image generation. (eww I hate that) It’s scary good now, imagine how good it’ll be in 4 years when I graduate. Working on other people’s games would be cool, I guess. That’s not why I want to learn this stuff. I just want to do my own thing
Also looking at the art college’s class lineup, they don’t have anything not related to art. I like biology, paleontology and other earth sciences because I do lots of worldbuilding. I don’t get bored in stem classes like I imagine a lot of art school students do.
I’ve been thinking about a lot of other careers.
Dental Hygienists seem to make a lot of dollars without flexible hours, but I’ve also heard they have wrist pain which would make it really hard to draw.
Software Engineering is alright. Like I can tolerate it, but without the lens of video games, I don’t really care for it. The coding part of video games is not my spark, it’s more the artistic creative side. Also I hear that’s like the most overcrowded major everywhere. I know people who love coding like how I love paleontology, just researching it for fun.
Being a TV show animator seems really similar to being in a game developer studio. I also think I’d have to move to California or something. I don’t really want to move that far away.
Architecture seems kinda cool. I just heard you have to love it because you work overtime a lot and would get paid more for your effort in other fields.
Having some sort of biology job would be really cool. I’m not sure exactly what they do though. Again I saw you have to love it because it’s hard to find a job without a masters degree.
My art teacher is really proud of my work so far and it makes me happy. I will say though, considering something else as a career has made thinking about it so much less stressful. It can just be something cool I do and if it gets big, I don’t have to work anymore. Yahoo. I could also put hobbyist instead of professional in my bio, which looks cooler to me.
Extra:
Working a trade sounds sucky because I’ve helped my friend at his family business at a warehouse once. It was okay but I don’t want to do that for a living. Lifting heavy stuff and getting kinda hurt. No thanks.
Also I’m aware I simplify a bit when talking about competition and stuff. The idea is that entry level jobs would be hard to get and those don’t really pay that well and I don’t want to feel like I wasted a college degree. I could be being dumb about AI image generation but any professional art people can let me know.
You can read about my student loan worries here here
And I can link to my itch.io for my 1 minute game prototypes if anyone is interested. My 2D Platformers with Krita Animations
Anyway what I’m asking for is your thoughts because I’m not knowledgeable here. Anyone with a biology degree, experience in the jobs I listed or whatever else (I don’t know, it’s why I am asking)

Hi everyone! I am planning to apply to a few MBA's in the next few years and started to do research. I wanted to know how I currently stand with my profile to fix weaknesses and make the strongest profile I can , also to see if I could apply to M7 schools and not waste money.
Demographic: Asian (M), Middle 20's
Education: BS in Civil Engineering at a Regional University (3.53) Minor: Philosophy and Entrepreneurship & Innovation Management
MS Civil Engineering at Columbia University in the City of New York (4.00)
Experience: One year as a Civil Engineer, three years as an Air Force officer (working with electronic warfare)
Tests: Working on GMAT (I would like to know what's a good target score but I will do more research)
Post MBA goal: Transition into consulting. While working as an engineer and officer, I learned that I love to problem-solve and advise/implement plans. I could look into IB as well because I love finance and investing, but I still need to figure out how I feel about the industry. Just liking finance and investing doesn't mean it's a good fit for me.
I would appreciate any advice. Feel free to be direct because I want to learn and increase my odds.

I read a book back in 2020-ish when we were all bored with nothing to do on the app call KISS on my iPhone. Don't judge, I said I was bored. Anyways, this book was unlike any other romance novel I've ever read and I cannot find it on the app which logged me out when I got a new phone and I used some generic fake info to create my account in the first place and it just didn't save on the cloud! However, I remember very specific details about the book, I just can't find the name or title no matter how many times I google search...
It starts out in high school for the MC's. One male and one female. The FMMC has a troubling home life, so she spends a lot of time at her friends house and ends up falling in love with her friends brother...*they do it*.
Fast foward > They're both adults and MMC is going to a str*p club for a bach party(?) and she works there! He wants to talk to her but chickens out, they meet out back, she's all flustered and doesn't know how to tell him that she has a son...well, they both do. The kid is his! Big bummer though, the kid has cancer and she just works at the dancing studio (lol) because she needs to pay doctor bills, but he wants to help and be apart of their lives. I remember they fight/argue a little and she's very apprehensive to trust. At the end of the book, or near the end, the child ends up dying. But they fall back in love together.
I vaguely remember there being a beach on the front cover and them wearing white, but I cannot remember the title or author. It was so good and I want to read it again! Please help!

Maybe it was how my schools taught it, but I really struggled to engage with it or feel passionate in it ever since middle school.
I was always an artist by heart who loved the creative field and so I never really felt math was relevant to that, until I became a working professional in animation and hard pressed to not see it contributing amazingly to the production of animated films, especially the crossover between coding, math, and a creative brain are some of the wizards behind Pixar's most largest technical achievements, and many other studios. I work as a lighting/compositing artist in Animation so it's really cool to see how math even plays a role in how light bounces and the physics behind it.
For instance, some of the more recent animation films that are more stylized use 3D tools to help place brushstrokes on a surface and vary its color and rotation, and use terminology like "ground truth" to help it work. That's all I really understand about that part, it also involves sometimes triplanar projection of textures, matrices, and other math things!
I'm only just starting to explore it again now, to see where I can best learn it again and start to use it to help me solve fun things!

The trades have done a terrible job keeping up with inflation over the last 40 years. Carpenters make about the same as they did when I graduated high school 25 years ago. $50-$60k wasn't bad in the 90s plus their wages kept up with college grads. They made about 5X+ what a burger flipper or any other unskilled job would pay which was serious motivation. They owned nice houses, nice trucks, and nice toys. They were steady family providers. That's simply not the case anymore. We're still making similar wages and can barely afford a decent apartment. The entire middle class is making less (buying power) than previous generations but the trades have been the worst about keeping up with inflation. College grads aren't doing great but they're making more than they were 25 years ago. Meanwhile, burger flippers are making close to 200% more than they were 25 years ago. They've closed the gap from 5X to about 1.5X-2X making safer, closer, and simpler jobs much more attractive. Several men are simply choosing to leave the workforce all together. (smh) If past pay performance is any indication of our future than things are looking grim. Something has got to give.

Hello, I've just completed 10th grade in high school in the U.S. and I've been researching the topic of moving Japan since I was in 8th grade, and now I actually want to act on this. Please tell me if this plan is terrible. Also, I've lost 50 pounds so far in a 100 pound weight loss journey, not trying to go to Japan and not be able to walk without losing my breath lol.
June 2024: Get a part time job to start saving up money for an online Japanese learning program that you can complete in 2-3 years. (please recommend some programs)
August 2024: Begin 11th grade in online school, begin learning Japanese for 3 hours a day.
Sometime in 2026: Start applying for universities in Japan. (please recommend schools, also, will I have to do a host family thing or could I live in a dorm? Since you aren't an adult until 20 in Japan.)
May 2026: Graduate high school and by now hopefully be pretty good at speaking, reading, and writing in Japanese.
Sometime in 2027 i think: Get a student visa (i have no idea how this would work) and go live in Japan. (I'll have saved up a bit of money from working part time and my parents will help me with whatever I need)
Please let me know all the flaws in my plan.

Question: I would guess that similar questions have been asked before, but has anybody here pursued answers through online psychiatry?
Rant: I am 33m, and very tired. I've spent my entire life feeling adjacent to society, since troubles with socializing became evident in preschool. My parents decided to homeschool my sister and I(she was similarly having issues fitting into kindergarten) Life until high school was unusual. My sister and I were well-regarded by adults in our lives, but had extreme difficulty making and keeping friends our age. My mother struggled to engage us academically, and we mostly preferred to read books on our own time. I always enjoyed non-fiction.
I went to public high school after begging my parents, where the bullying was swift and cruel. I learned how to cope over time, and spent much of my time writing conversational scripts. I was an above average student, though I mostly relied on prior knowledge or procrastination. I managed to get through my social trouble by embedding myself into a couple of different friend groups. I had a few meltdowns during this time, and my parents took me to take some psychiatric tests, the only specific one I can remember is the WAIS, because I liked the score. Since then, I've taken mood stabilizers and stimulants off and on, but I've never been satisfied with the diagnosis of ADHD. I whiteknuckled life with masking, caffeine, and alcohol after high school. I don't know that I've had a genuine connection with a person in years, and I've reached a point where I am barely capable of having a genuine conversation. I feel trapped inside my own head. I feel like I need to address some things with a doctor.
TLDR: I'm sad, and more
Sorry for readability, formatting, etc