Funny things to send my boyfriend in a text

Since January I've had this ongoing problem.
I have a samsung galaxy z flip 5.
I got the preorder in august and set it up with consumer cellular with an esim. It worked perfectly without incident until I moved in January. I have no cell reception at my new house- total deadzone. So I had to turn on wifi calling to recieve texts and calls. Okay, sure, no problem. But ever since turning on wifi calling, it's been down hill.
So far CC customer support has had me:
-reset network
-reset APN
-install physical sim
-reset APN again
Every "solution" has triggered a handful of more problems. Its a nightmare. NOW, since installing the physical sim, I cannot use wifi calling. It won't turn on. I've tried resetting wifi settings, I've tried turning off the esim, i made the physical sim the primary, tried punching in the correct APN settings for consumer cellular again. My wifi is lightning fast, strong, no issues on that end. Wifi calling works using the esim, but the whole point of the physical sim, was to resolve the mms texts not recieving or sending that the esim was failing to do. I rely on wifi calling to recieve calls and texts. So I went from being only able to recieve small, NON-mms texts with wifi calling ON using the esim, to being unable to use wifi calling at ALL with the physical sim. What am I missing? I've called CC over 10 times. I've called samsung. No one has a single clue what the hell is going on. I'm losing my marbles. Every time I find what I'm certain will be the solution, it doesn't work and only creates even more problems.
Thoughts?
Ideas?
Anyone have a similar problem?
I'm also a millennial..grew up on phones and computers! by definition, I should have been able to figure this out on my own by now 😂

It was my 40th birthday this week, a couple of days after mother's day. My husband organized a big potluck dinner for all our friends and some of my cousins last week, so I was well celebrated. The night of, my husband took me out for supper to a great local restaurant. That's when he found out I hadn't heard anything from my parents about a party for me next weekend.
You see, my husband talked to my mom a few times a month ago, and he thought they settled he would organize a party for 'the young people' and she would organize a party for me with all the older relatives. She even mentioned a date, and he told her he was available to help and would take time off work to be there once she confirmed. The poor man thought he fucked up because maybe he was supposed to tell me about it.
I reassured him there was absolutely no way my parents had spent a month organizing a big fancy party for me. That's just not them. What actually happened, and I had told him about, is that I and my son were invited to join them for supper for mother's day with my sister, I brought flowers, my mom bought a card and a cake for me, she complained the bakery wouldn't write a message for me on the cake, and asked me if I wanted an Ikea gift card for my birthday.
When I said I didn't mind but didn't have much use for that, she said they'd give me cash, then both my parents spent the next day calling me at work to find out if I'd gotten the bank transfer they had no idea how to send. I eventually told them we could settle this later because I was tired of trying to troubleshoot getting my own gift. (Guys, if they were just going to give me money anyway and hadn't even bought the gift card, why not just write a cheque and slip it into the card the day I was there?)
My husband was crushed. This man thinks I am important and wonderful and worth celebrating. My parents have organized lavish parties for all kinds of people for milestone birthdays and he assumed I would be getting that treatment too. He would, sincerely, have organized two parties for me if he'd thought for a second they wouldn't because he thinks I deserve that. He even thought some recent texts from my mom asking him to come help move furniture were to come help put things in place for my party. He texted my mom who confirmed she thought the mother's day dinner was my birthday party. My mom was clueless what the problem was even with the texts just above talking about a big family get-together for me.
The thing is that now I'm furious for him and feeling sorry for myself in a way I haven't for a very long time. I don't think I deserved more but HE DID and by God he deserves transparency from them. I ended up texting my mother explaining exactly what the problem was IN WRITING and strongly suggesting she reassure my husband that he didn't fuck up, because he was upset. Surprisingly she texted him and did that. I have no intention of talking to either one of them again for a long time. If they bring up my birthday money again I'll tell them to make a donation to Doctors Without Borders in my name so I get the tax deduction, I don't need it anyway. What's the point of a present that has no thought behind it and brings work and no joy?
I know some of this is unfair of me. My dad is completely useless so really it would have been my mom doing all the work, right around mother's day, and she's getting all the fallout that I'm sure neither expected. But I'm still in this weird emotional limbo this week, possibly because I'm very pregnant and it's not helping.

Earlier this year, my SIL (19f) moved out of her parents’ house and in with me and BF, after a nasty fight with MIL (45F).
MIL (like me) was parentified a lot, was the eldest and had to take care of everyone. I knew she had some deep routed, old fashion believes that kids are objects meant to obey. But I always gave her the benefit of the doubt, because of our similar upbringing. Despite the mistreatment and bullying my BF and SIL endured, I always had hope she would turn things around, see her faults and reconcile eventually.
But all that hope was lost when both my in-laws showed up at my house unannounced last Friday. I knew something was amiss because they would usually call beforehand. Skipping pleasantries, FIL immediately wanted to speak to SIL alone in her room. I regretted allowing this because the moment her door closed, FIL was yelling. My BF and I was shocked, we’ve never had any explosive arguments in the house. So, we froze, but before we could intervene, SIL came out crying. When she asked her brother to help her get her stuff from their car, we realized they were officially throwing her out.
While SIL and BF was walking from the car and back, MIL was gloating in the corner, throwing around some off handed comments to convince FIL and me of SIL rudeness. In hindsight it was mostly to bait SIL. SIL eventually lost her shit, expose her parents’ cruelty, her mother selfish behaviour and FIL inability to stand up for his kids. There were a lot of hateful things said, but MIL was revelling SIL’s breakdown.
When SIL provoked them to use the opportunity to shut her up physically like they did before, I got involved and asked my in-laws to leave. My BF escorted his parents out and I could hear MIL trying to play victim. SIL was inconsolable and I told BF his parents were never allowed to come to our house again. I told them this on the phone afterwards. Our movie night was ruined, and we all doomed scrolled to cope with WTF just happened.
The next day SIL got a scathing message from her aunt (F28, MIL youngest sister, whom I’ll call Stacey) about how “a pathetic piece of shit” she is. I’ll admit, I was lekke buzzed by then so when SIL came out crying and showing her brother the message, I lost it. It took a whole bloody day to lift her spirits and these MFs just had to continue with the bullying. I took SIL phone and send a scathing voice note message back.
Thing is, MIL lost her mother recently to cancer and Stacey wasn’t there in her last moments. She refused to come and brushed everyone off. Only when the old lady passed, did she regret her actions and openly so. I knew this was a sore subject, but the things she said in her long ass message and my SIL’s heartbroken face made me blind with rage. So, I ended my message with “It’s rich coming from you how SIL should treat her mother, when you weren’t even there for yours.” YES, I fully accept I was the AH here. I wanted her to hurt but took it too far. I hated myself afterwards because their mother was nothing but kind to me.
Long story short, Stacey forwarded my voice note to MIL and her other sister Maggie (34F) and it started an all-out voice note war in my kitchen. I was now a spectator, getting more buzzed at the kitchen counter, feeling incredibly guilty. (Not anymore though). For as long as I knew my in-laws, they never addressed any elephant in the room, and would gossip about each other a lot. Like any normal unhealthy family. So, everything was exposed. And I mean everything. The only frustrating thing was MIL and her sisters refused to acknowledge any of the things they did and only focused on BF and SIL being disrespectful for speaking up.
Maggie double down on the fact that MIL and FIL should’ve punished their more severely when they were kids. SIL in turn threated to call child service on her and that shut her up, not before threatening to burn my house down. It was an explosive two hours, but resulted in BF and SIL cutting off MIL, Stacey, Maggie, and FIL (whom I’ll admit looked very heartbroken when I asked him to leave). FIL’s sister and her husband showed up for support late that night because BF and SIL was posting most of the messages on their WhatsApp statuses.
I feel shit, for adding fuel to the fire but also because I might be projecting. I too went no contact with my birth giver a few months ago when she berated me for cutting of her daughter. The daughter I helped raised, after her dad (my mother’s AP) was MIA for most her life.
Everything is still tense, and we feel cursed. But I feel like it's mostly my fault, so AITA?

My wife and I were born into different religions. The marriage process in her country is very long. Because of this she flew to the US on ESTA and got married to me and flew back. Her family found out because we had a person who was a flying monkey. Immediately, her family started threatening her. Saying that I ruined her honor and she's bringing shame and disrespect. Things have gotten so bad to the point the police has had to intervene and she's gotten a local version of a temporary restraining order. I'm wondering if the US embassy will do DCF in these circumstances. Or at the very least can USCIS and NVC expedite processing of the case. I can provide a certified copy of the temporary restraining order as well as the (nasty) texts.

So, my sister moved out to Utah to go to college. She ended up getting married and has three kids. Great kids. Good husband. The problem isn't distance. It's that she doesn't call my mother or return her phone calls very often. Like hardly. There has never been abuse or anything that would justify it. It's the same with me. I don't even really care about her calling me or want to call her. Her kids matter more to me than her. What's the problem: well, my mom is very depressed about it. And naturally. It's always "I'm busy" excuse...always gaslighting. She has time to be on social media and is all cozy with her family out there. I know being right there with them, you're going to have more contact with them, but little contact with your mother is unnatural. Here's how Mothers Day present went: sister sends my mom some picture frames for pictures of the kids. Doesn't send any pictures! "I have to go to Walmart," she told my mom. Like where you got the frames or you couldn't have just gone there if you're going to go through the trouble of sending frames for pics of grandchildren?
Well, my mom finally wrote her a letter. Gaslighting. Well, I'm trying to keep it brief. So my mom told her in a text message, after many BS reasons for not calling back, etc., she told my sister: "I'm done with you. Enjoy your life." Not quite disowned, but eight hours and she hadn't returned a text. Imagine your spouse says that. If you value your marriage, you're going to reply to that as soon as you see it.
Here comes the part where I think my sister needs to get serious, because if it did happen, she'll have blood on her hands. My mom says last night, "If it wasn't wrong, I would kill myself." So now, we're talking suicide...the level the doctors say is a cry for help...serious...SUICIDE.
I think I have to tell my sister. If this doesn't change things, I think...well. The problem is there has never been any signs of narcissism in my sister. I went through the DSM. Not one of the requirements met. I'm not going to call and tell her. Why? I don't want to have a gaslighting conversation with her, with excuses and all that. Text may seem the wrong way to go, but it just allows me to say it and then her to think. She might respond with a gaslight, but there's no game like in an actual conversation. It's basically, "Hey, I told you plain and simple, and if you don't understand that.....
Well, the suicide. It's serious. I mean, I can't just have the police come and take her to the hospital. There has to be an immediate threat for that, not just talk of it.
And one more thing. So my mom goes out there. She said my sister said they were going to do stuff. My mom said she just sat in the basement where the bedroom was on her phone. When she mentioned this to my sister, my sister said it was her fault for not coming up or something like that. My sister was watching re-runs of Grey's Anatomy. I think it is the HOST'S job to invite the guest to do things, not the guest's. I mean that seems the logic to me about that situation.
Well, my mom is removing her as power of attorney. She was going to split the house value when she dies. Now she's changing the will to where she doesn't get half. My mom says she gets nothing. She was never a beneficiary of the life insurance. My father died and the money I was supposed to get (he'd saved. It was 50k) went to her. He didn't know he was going to die prematurely. She and her husband needed some help with a downpayment. I mean it's only money, but that's why she's not on the life insurance. She got her cut, her husband makes pretty good money anyway....but power of attorney and half the house, gone. Which I think is just fine. Not because I want all of those financial benefits, but because it's just. She has a five bedroom house...you get the idea. Geez, you watch your father removed from life support....have to visit him in a coma and never talk to him again...you know you say stuff, but....now imagine you had to see your father comatose in a burn unit and then you have your mother kill herself.
It will be blood on her hands, and I don't know what I will do. I don't think she'll do it, but that she mentioned it, there's a problem. I'm just thinking of the right way to say it. Naturally, you want to be very angry. But, it's better to make it firm, but not too harsh.

hii, so for some context: i'm learning korean as my fourth language. portuguese is my native one. english and french were fairly easy, especially english since i learned it from an early age where i was super immersed (whenever i wasn't outside my home i was sitting in watching long ass english tv shows or reading). french was a little harder and i actually had to study a lot (did not study english at all, just vibed through it), although i'm nowhere near my english level in it yet.
and now, with korean, what bothers me the most isn't not knowing words or grammar or whatever. i talk to myself a lot and i think a lot and whenever i'm learning a new language i usually do it in that target language, because i really immerse in it. it's really hard with korean though, because i can't form the words in my mind as fast, even if i know them/can sound them out. i can do it but it takes my brain at least a couple seconds to go through every syllable, instead of just seeing the whole word out in my mind like with my other languages.
i'm staying away from romanization as much as possible (will even tape things over it so i don't see it), but whenever, for instance, i'm watching a show and i hear a word i recognize, my mind's first instict is to see it written out like in the latin alphabet, because i'm so used to it, even though i haven't ever even seen it romanized and i actually know how it would be written in korean.
oh and the same thing happens with text, usually i could tell a word i knew written out from others straight away, but with korean i will actually have to read it throughly so that eventually a word will jump out at me. i can never just skim it and be like oh i know that, or it all just looks like gibberish to me, even if i know let's say 5/7 words in a sentence. if i don't actually read it i won't recognize it. it's so frustrating gaaaaah, i love it though, makes my brain tickle.
anyway, i know this problem will be resolved eventually with time and hard work. i'm not looking for advice as i think i'm already taking all the necessary steps. so i'm not impatient, just curious. my question is for those that went through this process, how long did it take you to start "thinking" in korean characters? was anyone able to do it straight away? when did it click?

My fiancé has had serious mental health issues over the past years and has threatened to do something to himself multiple times. Therefore, I took his gun away. Currently, we don’t live in the same place so it was easy for me to hide it in my house. He knew I did it and was thankful.
Approximately two weeks ago, the same thing happened and he ended up in the mental health ward at the naval hospital. When he was discharged he told me that he had talked to someone at work and that they would be picking up the firearm from me to put it in a safe place. I don’t really know what that means and what all this is about.
I’ve asked him to show me the paperwork saying that all of this is true but he hasn’t. This morning though, I got a text from someone saying that they will come to my house tomorrow to get the gun. My only concern is that they don’t hold weapons forever and I’m afraid they’re gonna give it back to him. I don’t really know what to do and if this is a good idea. Should I give them the gun? Should I not? I don’t know. How do I know that this is actually someone from the navy…. The whole thing is very “sketchy”

Hi Community,
I am eligible to apply for German citizenship under Stag5 and have filled in the necessary documents + collected the proof.
I’m struggling to find out two things: 1) how do I actually submit my application (appointment at LEA? Send the documents by post?) 2) if it needs to be sent by post, I don’t want to send the original documents that I have gathered as proof. Does every single document need to be notarised and then sent as a copy? I have around 40 separate documents and this would be quite expensive.
I’m hoping I’m not the only one in this predicament! Thanks for the help

I am naturally a very indecisive person and I find myself in a bit of a situation now regarding my work options. Sorry this is long.
For a bit of a backstory, I (32F - living in a small tropical island)) have been working for a nearly 10 years now. I worked at Company A and it was great. I left after 6 years as they would not raise me. Joined Company B and it was a shitshow; i dealt with a lot of racism towards me and it ruined my self-esteem as a person and a designer for a long time. After a year, i went to Company C, thinking it was my big break as I would be a manager. Somehow, they ended up changing the scope of works without letting me know and expected me to go into Sales. I left and decided to start my own company and work freelance, which i was doing on an off while working full-time.
However, I had applied randomly for another job at Company D and they ended up making me an offer. I took it because it was one of the best and established companies here on the island and I needed to regain a bit of my designer confidence back. It was hustle culture as soon as i joined; no handing over of 4 main projects that i was expected to take over. I did it through migraines, tears, lots of unpaid overtime and stress. My mistake here was maybe not be vocal enough about how i was struggling.. As you can guess, my health suffered and I decided to resign from the job before i completed a full year although i loved the work itself and the experience was extremely valuable. Surprisingly, during my three months notice as per contract, i felt like i could handle the workload and stress much better and it made me rethink my decision.
Ultimately, I decided to leave nonetheless and was lucky to have 2 clients for whom i am working on a freelance basis currently. Now here am i, a month after having quit, working slowly as a freelancer. But, another Company E, contacted me since they have been wanting to work with me for a while now. My friend worked there for 5 years. He is also okay with me working part time at his but was very hot and cold during our conversations since February. My friend told me not to trust him but use him to my gain. So now i have the following options:
OPTION 1
Company D

• Go back and work on a part time basis 2 or 3 days per week or project based.
  
• Freelance on my other projects on the remaining days
  

Cons: I had a fling with a consultant from another firm who works on the same projects i was working on right after I left the job. I would see him only during client meetings and that's all, he doesn;t work in the office. We had been texting and met up one night and made out but did not fuck. He has been ghosting me ever since (yikes - I know, don't shit where you eat, but it happened for the first time ever in my life - a lesson). I am not attached or whatever but is this something to consider? Lots of work. High stress. Director is a bit moody sometimes.
Pros: Established firm since 25 years, high-end clients, great work experience, great colleagues. Having it on my Cv has already opened my networking.
OPTION 2
Company E

• Work on a part time basis 2 or 3 days per week or project based.
  
• Freelance on my other projects on the remaining days
  

Cons: The director pushed his 5 years employee to quit within 2 months (3 disciplinary meetings during that time which put a lot of pressure on the girl from what i heard). When she gave her month notice, he asked her to leave right away He had been wanting her to leave for a while but did not want to fire her so that he did not have to her severance, so he did everything he could so she would leave on her own. He told me at one point that if for any reason i could not join his company in June (because he cannot control things), he was sure I would have a place somewhere else or back at Company D. He has rescheduled our meeting to discuss work conditions twice now. He wanted me to start earlier than June now that he is down 1 staff and has too much to do, without us having discussed conditions. I said no and we are supposed to meet tomorrow afternoon to discuss conditions.
Pros: His company is 10 years old and he says he is ready to take it to the next level. I would be his right hand a bit to help him grow his business. Smaller company, less projects, projects are not so high-end so less time consuming, less stress overall.
OPTION 3

• I keep working for myself for a while and see how it goes.

Pay and commute are basically the same for both. I wanted to have a part time job while I establish myself as a freelancer so i could have a steady income every month. My goal, although I am still not sure if i really want this, is to have my own company doing my own projects. But i don't know whether i actually like it or if I ma doing it just because i feel like it is the natural next step in my career at this point. I like having a routine and structure, which makes me think i like being employed too.
So I don't really know at this point. I have been thinking and thinking and thinking and I come up blank. I want to do it all and I don't want to do anything. So please, anyone if you can help, let me know your thoughts and advice!

Hellooooo
I recently ended an almost 5-year on and off situationship (like Mother Taylor). Also, yes medyo bobo po ako sa pagibig kahit matalino ako on other things. So, I needed to make the right choice and move on already.
But as a corporate slave and weekend-at-home girl, i have no opportunities to meet someone in a traditional way, hence trying my luck here. Please help your girl out.
About me : - good conversationalist; witty - a safe space (comment from my friends) - career and independent woman - financially stable - loves to travel - trying to learn to bake - freedives sometimes - from Cavite working in BGC - politically aware 🌸 - bit on heavy side but working on it (pwede mo din ako motivate) - 6/10 sa looks i think? ikaw na magassess hahahaha - not into hookups
About you : - 27-30 y/o - may sense kausap and may humor pls - financially stable - may mga trip ako in life na need ng money so hopefully masabayan mo. I do simple hang outs naman pero atleast may options tayo lol medyo forward looking din hehe - physical preference : smart/nerd and neat look, chinito, and taller than me (i'm 156 cm) - mabango (non negotiable) - politically aware 🌸 - no to homophobes (non negotiable) - not into hookups
Tbh I'm looking for someone to constantly talk to bc nasanay akong may kausap always and may go-to person about random things for almost 5 years so basta feel mo na you're it, go!
Message me! Kapag di nyo ako chinat, sige kayo baka bumalik ako sakanya hahaha joke but not joke send help.

If you want, you can see my previous very long post about our breakup for more details (this one will also probably be pretty long tbh). These are supposed to be writing exercises for my therapist. Everyone’s comments along with a few therapy sessions made me realize how one sided our relationship was. I’ve been in much longer and more committed relationships than this one, and had much worse breakups all things considered. But I’ve never felt like this. I know that grief isn’t a linear process. It comes in waves. However, I’ve always prided myself on being calm and collected even in the worst of times. I managed to hold it together pretty well when I lost my dad a year and a half ago, and worked through that in a healthy way. Why can’t I do that now? It’s been a month and a half. This should be so much smaller in the grand scheme of things.
I saw her yesterday at the grocery store, we were using self checkouts right next to each other. We ended up basically walking out together. I think she noticed me and just tried to pretend I didn’t exist. I immediately felt sick to my stomach, with this mix of deep sadness and anger. It took everything I had not to fall apart right then and there. I couldn’t eat dinner, and still managed to puke when I got home and then again in the middle of the night after waking up from a dream about us.
A realization that I had after my last post is how little she would compromise on things. A few of you that said that I was a doormat, and you’re right. I somehow let so many things slip that I shouldn’t have. It was her first serious relationship, she wasn’t used to having to compromise much. I gave her the benefit of the doubt. She asked so much of me, maybe too much, and I gave to her maybe too freely. But the few times that I asked things of her, she’d almost always say no.
I wanted to watch Home Alone over Christmas. It was a tradition that I shared with my dad, some of my earliest memories are about that. I wanted to continue that tradition and I couldn’t bring myself to do it alone, so I asked her to watch it with me. I explained how important it was. She refused, time after time, every stay at home date we had between Thanksgiving and New Years. She went on rants about how traditions are stupid, and how she hates movies about kids (yet we watched the Harry Potter movies at her request, the first few are made by the same people that made Home Alone). It’s like she didn’t even hear me asking for support when I needed her, she only heard that I was asking her to put up with something she didn’t like for an hour and a half. On the other hand, I never said no to her.
This played out time and time again, in small and big ways. My mom was going to give us the money for our dream vacation to Ireland. All she wanted in return was a nice picture of us in front of something recognizably Irish, a castle or something. She was doing this incredibly nice thing for us, and just asked for that one thing. She just wanted to see me happy, traveling the world with the person I love, after having to give up the last 4 years of my life dealing with my dad’s illness (along with losing all of my grandparents and 2 uncles in the same timeframe) But my ex didn’t like having her picture taken. She would put up with it for friends and family, but if I asked her? Never. We have 3 pictures together, all of which are shitty group photos with her friends. Can’t even tell we were a couple.
Then there’s the big thing that led to our breakup. She wanted me to anticipate her needs without her needing to say them. She hated when I asked how best to help her when she was struggling and overwhelmed, saying that I needed to show initiative. She talked a lot about “mental loads” and such. I tried to support her as much as possible (often doing too much, as many of you said), but sometimes I’d miss the mark. She’d get so frustrated with me, and we’d sit down and talk things out. She’d tell me all of these things she needed from me, and I genuinely put in so much effort trying to work on it.
The only thing that I asked for in return is if I missed the mark, to please guide me to what she needed. I did it all the time for her, she was honestly awful at supporting me. If I was venting, had a bad day, all she’d say was “I’m sorry”, and pat me on the back like a puppy. No effort to dig deeper. No words of support or encouragement. Not even a kiss or a hug. I had to show her how I needed support. I never got mad or frustrated, I recognized this was something we had to communicate about and it was my job to open that communication.
So when we’d have those conversations about how she needed support, and she was asking all of these things of me that felt like mind reading, all I asked of her was to do what I did when she missed the mark. Just that one little thing to save our relationship. It was nothing compared to what she was asking from me, and it was for her own benefit. I put in the work, got us 80% of the way there. I knew I couldn’t bridge the gap on my own. I begged her time and time again. But instead of listening and guiding me to what she needed, she did the exact opposite. Full silent treatment at the very first text of support from me because she wanted something more/different.
That refusal to compromise ruined everything. I know anger is part of the stages of grief, but I’m just so angry all the time. I know you can’t tell based off of what was said here and in my other post, she is genuinely a great person. She didn’t do any of this maliciously. I don’t believe that she’s evil. But I can’t help but to look at all the work I put in vs all the work that she put in, after being told that I wasn’t doing enough while she was putting more effort into the relationship. I’m sorry, but I don’t see that effort from her. I don’t even know if I’m more angry at her or myself. Should have I been more proactive? Enforced stronger boundaries? Been more clear in what I needed from her? I don’t know. Maybe I am just a doormat. I just know that I hate feeling like this. I don’t want to be that guy that’s angry and bitter about their ex, and I’m terrified that’s exactly what I’m becoming.

I am naturally a very indecisive person and I find myself in a bit of a situation now regarding my work options. Sorry this is long.
For a bit of a backstory, I (32F - living on an island)) have been working for a nearly 10 years now. I worked at Company A and it was great. I left after 6 years as they would not raise me. Joined Company B and it was a shitshow; i dealt with a lot of racism towards me and it ruined my self-esteem as a person and a designer for a long time. After a year, i went to Company C, thinking it was my big break as I would be a manager. Somehow, they ended up changing the scope of works without letting me know and expected me to go into Sales. I left and decided to start my own company and work freelance, which i was doing on an off while working full-time.
However, I had applied randomly for another job at Company D and they ended up making me an offer. I took it because it was one of the best and established companies here on the island and I needed to regain a bit of my designer confidence back. It was hustle culture as soon as i joined; no handing over of 4 main projects that i was expected to take over. I did it through migraines, tears, lots of unpaid overtime and stress. My mistake here was maybe not be vocal enough about how i was struggling.. As you can guess, my health suffered and I decided to resign from the job before i completed a full year although i loved the work itself and the experience was extremely valuable. Surprisingly, during my three months notice as per contract, i felt like i could handle the workload and stress much better and it made me rethink my decision.
Ultimately, I decided to leave nonetheless and was lucky to have 2 clients for whom i am working on a freelance basis currently. Now here am i, a month after having quit, working slowly as a freelancer. But, another Company E, contacted me since they have been wanting to work with me for a while now. My friend worked there for 5 years. He is also okay with me working part time at his but was very hot and cold during our conversations since February. My friend told me not to trust him but use him to my gain. So now i have the following options:
OPTION 1
Company D

• Go back and work on a part time basis 2 or 3 days per week or project based.
  
• Freelance on my other projects on the remaining days
  

Cons: I had a fling with a consultant from another firm who works on the same projects i was working on right after I left the job. I would see him only during client meetings and that's all, he doesn;t work in the office. We had been texting and met up one night and made out but did not fuck. He has been ghosting me ever since (yikes - I know, don't shit where you eat, but it happened for the first time ever in my life - a lesson). I am not attached or whatever but is this something to consider? Lots of work. High stress. Director is a bit moody sometimes.
Pros: Established firm since 25 years, high-end clients, great work experience, great colleagues. Having it on my Cv has already opened my networking.
OPTION 2
Company E

• Work on a part time basis 2 or 3 days per week or project based.
  
• Freelance on my other projects on the remaining days
  

Cons: The director pushed his 5 years employee to quit within 2 months (3 disciplinary meetings during that time which put a lot of pressure on the girl from what i heard). When she gave her month notice, he asked her to leave right away He had been wanting her to leave for a while but did not want to fire her so that he did not have to her severance, so he did everything he could so she would leave on her own. He told me at one point that if for any reason i could not join his company in June (because he cannot control things), he was sure I would have a place somewhere else or back at Company D. He has rescheduled our meeting to discuss work conditions twice now. He wanted me to start earlier than June now that he is down 1 staff and has too much to do, without us having discussed conditions. I said no and we are supposed to meet tomorrow afternoon to discuss conditions.
Pros: His company is 10 years old and he says he is ready to take it to the next level. I would be his right hand a bit to help him grow his business. Smaller company, less projects, projects are not so high-end so less time consuming, less stress overall.
OPTION 3

• I keep working for myself for a while and see how it goes.

Pay and commute are basically the same for both. I wanted to have a part time job while I establish myself as a freelancer so i could have a steady income every month. My goal, although I am still not sure if i really want this, is to have my own company doing my own projects. But i don't know whether i actually like it or if I ma doing it just because i feel like it is the natural next step in my career at this point. I like having a routine and structure, which makes me think i like being employed too.
So I don't really know at this point. I have been thinking and thinking and thinking and I come up blank. I want to do it all and I don't want to do anything. So please, anyone if you can help, let me know your thoughts and advice!

A few things I don't really understand.
1.) My formula works on Database Mart SQL 2017 in the cloud
2.) My formula works on Azure SQL database in the cloud
3.) My formula doesn't work on SQL Server 2022 on prem
I read and understand Direct Date Filters Don't Work on SQL Server Tables, why does it work in Azure SQL and Database Mart then? No one can answer this so far that I can find so moving on to the actual question below.
The Formula:

SortByColumns(Search(Filter([@'dailyLog'],DateAsInt=Today()), TextSearchBox1.Text, Address,Twp,Contractor,Permit,Type,Inspector), "Order", If(SortDescending1, SortOrder.Descending, SortOrder.Ascending)) 

I did the "ALTER TABLE myTable ADD DateAsInt AS (YEAR([date]) * 10000 + MONTH([date]) * 100 + DAY([date]))" and now end up with 20240515 for 2024-05-15. How do I get my formula above to filter by today with the DateAsInt column? I see post after post saying you need to do the above and sort based on the DateAsInt column but no one tells you how to do that.

i (19m) was assigned by the professor to a random group which had 4 other students. we were assigned a project where we had to make a diagnosis and treatment plan for a case that will be selected by the professor for each group. it was for 40% of the total grade then we had to present it.
the professor gave us the case and i was just praying that we got one of the easier cases. we were assigned a case for a child that had a neurological disorder. it was the HARDEST case of all of the possible ones that you could get, but i was like its okay we can still research and ask the professors etc.
i asked them when can we meet to start working on the project many times and every time they just leave me on read or reply with we’re busy. i stopped asking them but would send them updates whenever i do something for the project (and btw i had to go to multiple hospitals/physicians and ask them for data about this project it was very time consuming and not easy at all to do alone especially as a person who has social anxiety)
i asked one of them after class on how far was he in the project he said that he didn’t even start working on it he had other stuff to worry about.
So i just waited until a week before the deadline and asked them that we need to practice for the presentation and they should email me what they wrote so i can put it all together. AND ALL 4 OF THEM RESPONDED WITH SOME SORT OF VERSION OF THIS “sorry we cant do anything because the case is too hard please do my part since you understand about the case more than we do” and that was the last straw for me i was already extremely stressed with alot happening in my personal life but also i had a ton of work and other projects.
I didn’t respond to any of their texts and just did the whole project myself since i already have done all the research and gathered everything i needed. I didn’t put their names on it because that was a requirement that you need to submit the names of each member of the group and i emailed the professor about the whole situation.
On presentation day, 3 out of 4 members of my group were present. the professor said “this group only has one student come up and present”. one of them said to the professor that we are actually 5 but one is absent. the professor said “only one student did the work so only he can present”
They were all FUMING. But it was genuinely one of the best presentations ive ever did i got a full mark and the professor said that she was very pleased with my presentation and project and she is very proud that i am one of her students.
After class all of them were screaming at me that i am a horrible person and calling me names, one of them started crying because this will cause her to fail and may lose her scholarship and i was like if you have anything talk to the professor, AITA?

when i was younger my family was happy, i guess. I was adopted by my grandparents officially when i was younger and i had been living with them my entire life. I grew up with sensory disorder and ADHD. My real mother wasn't really in my life until about 4 years ago. I never knew my real dad and i have never met him but i always knew my real mom. She used to live with me and my grandparents who i call 'mom and dad' because they took care of me most of my life. She always lived outside in an apartment my dad made for her. She then moved away. She moved a lot and never was really in my life completely. By the time I was adopted by my grandparents she was legally my sibling. She always was having boyfriends and brought some of them over for family holidays. I was bullied growing up since I was in first grade for no reason i knew about. All i knew was i was the school freak. When i was little i hardly ate much as well but i was still called 'fat'. Whenever i sung i was laughed at. I was actually good at singing and i loved to sing when I was little as well as dance. My legally sister (aka real mother) tells me now and days i was the bully growing up and i was sexual as a little kid when i wasn't. growing up i also had anger issues and nobody knew why. My mom (aka grandmother who adopted me) told me it because i was mad at my sister. my mental health started going downhill quickly when i was about starting middle the next year. i was getting bullied a lot more and my 'friend' was mean to me for no reason at all.i was at a christian private school at that time. I got blamed for put stick notes on other sticky notes in a prize container when i didn't. i was friends with everyone in that class. only one of them believed me. but when the others were told that i didnt do it they were acting sorry. one my best friend's at that time little brother had a crush on me. when i went to her house to hang out her brother was acting like a perve a little bit and was asking sexual stuff.i never liked school at all because the city and town i lived in didnt do crap when i was bullied and the principles were told. And around this time my sister came to live in the town i live right now.she gotten married. But she was toxic to everyone. Her husband's friends lived with them as roommates and my sister was abusive to them. when she was babysitting me during that time she would stab one of them in the arm with a medicine syringe you take medicine from.this kept going till that roommate left and then the next one was gone. my sister's husband had passed away when i was in middle school starting the first year of it. my sister was then toxic to me a lot. and since she was my real mom at one point i called her 'mom' all the time till she was toxic to me.she also always told me she couldnt have children. apparently, there was another before me and it was a miscarriage. i will mention this, my sister is known in my family to be a liar about everything from getting gifts for us, receiving it, not stealing, and most of the time children. About every 2 years she claims to be 'pregnant' with a kid but apparently, they all end up dying after they are born or are miscarriages. i was the only kid she had ever.and plus she always blamed me for stealing her stuff even her gun and hiding it under my bed at my mom's when i cant even put a phone under there cause the bed is really low to the ground. now onto my dad (my grandpa who adopted me with my grandma).me and my dad were really close when i was growing up.i was his little princess. That stopped happening after i came out as bisexual and genderfluid 4 years ago. And let me tell you my dad was born in the 50's so he grew up being raciest and homophobic. I was the only child he raised as his own. my sister was his stepdaughter and during that time her real dad never let my dad adopt her as his own.i kept telling my dad about things i liked that we loved together growing up. my dad was toxic to me in my middle school years up until now. He would verbally abuse me and threaten me. he even hit me before in front of my mom and she told the police that he never did. The police were called a lot cause of my anger and yelling. The police where i live never believe the kids about anything saying they dont have any rights like to clothes, a bed, sometimes to speak, to things they buy with their own money, and one even told me i didn't have a right to my own body.i was being bullied every more in school so i was getting depressed and mentally unstable. And my dad was always getting up in my face and i pushed him back sometimes to make sure he didn't hurt me and he just told me i 'assaulted' him and he was going to get me put in jail for defending myself as well a lot of the time. I had been to a mental hospital where i live 8 times. Some of them because i was mentally unstable, and 2 because i was forced for no reason. For my 3 or 5 time there my dad took me to the hospital to get 'diagnosed' but he lied.i had just gotten out of another mental hospital 2 days before for being depressed and i was there for 2 weeks so i needed to get adjusted to being out of there.and when we were at the hospital the doctor came in after talking to my dad and told me 'your being sent to *name of mental hospital i was at 8 times* for sewerslidal (not gonna say the actual word) thoughts'. and i was confused at first and i told him i was having those thoughts at all. and then he told me i was being sent there anyways and then left the room. Then my dad came in and said this directly at me, 'this is what happens when you dont go to school'. i was shocked and upset about this.he lied to the doctor and i was sent to that mental hospital again for it.i never forgave him for that.i was also sent to a behavior facility twice before. one for anger and the other for SH. neither times did it work.i was an SHing person a lot so i had different ways to hide it. like hoodies, long sleeve tee shirts finally, longer shorts, gloves, and short sleeved shirts that covered my shoulders. right now im in high school and i guess my dad is trying to rekindle our relationship because he is that old already. He is nicer now but about 2 months ago he was a jerk. my mom didnt listen to my feelings during these times so i never talked to her about feelings but when she wanted to and i tried to tell her she always interuppeted me and never let me talk and told me to shut up. my sister had moved in my dad's house recently because she bought it because he retired. my dad is planning on moving to my mom's place with me.and now here is an old relationship i need to talk about badly because my sister says i agreed to most of it when i didnt. it was my last year of middle school when it happened. i was already at a different school. I was still bullied but i could handled it a bit better there. my first boyfriend broke up with me 2 months after we got together and i was in 7th grade at that point when we broke up.i had just moved to that school about 2 months before we started dating.the reason he broke up with me was because 'he didnt feel love'.love is an emotion. you cant just not feel it right.i was touch starved and loved starved during that time so the summer after the broke up i was really mentally unstable and SH.i was taken to the mental hospital again. And when i came back to school after 2 months of being in the behavior facility for the second time so it was novemeber of my last year of middle school.about the end of November i was dating my guy best friend at that time.i didnt except what would happen after.he neglected me a lot when we saw each other at school during lunch even if we sat next to each other, was toxic and mad at me where i cried during that and wanted to feel pain, never stood up for me, never cared about how i felt or when i SH but pretended he did, and lastly he was obsessed with me during this time.threatening to hurt people. The first time i went to his house he got really touchy and then the second time he took that one thing a girl will never get back in her life no matter what.i was really desperate for love during that time but i didnt want to do that..he convinced me though. And then at school during lunch in the cafeteria while we were sitting with our friends at lunch he would touch me badly and threaten to do it more if i didnt eat or would do it anyway.i didnt eat much back then cause i was trying to lose weight, was having an eating disorder where i got sick every time i even at at least 2/4 of my meal. I didnt tell anyone this until last summer.i was still with him at the beginning of summer till my current boyfriend started talking to me on roblox after years of not talking because he moved while i was in 4th grade.he was a good friend. my current boyfriend told me what my ex was doing wrong at that time so i did the right thing and broke up with my ex.but my ex did scare me badly. He threatened to kill someone for me. i was terrified at that. He also had a spilt personality he would talk to me with a lot of the time. Then after a month of me breaking up with him my current boyfriend and me got together. He was a little toxic at first but he got better and was really nice to me. but we are in a long distance relationship. We talk a lot on discord and do video calls when we can.i was at 2 different public school this year.neither of them cared about what was happening to me so i started online school.i didnt go to either of them cause i was still bullied i couldnt handle it.and then when i started online school the teachers for that school accused me of not doing my work when i did them days in advance.i was doing really good but if i got most of the questions right on the quiz i still failed it.i would get 90% out of the question right and still get an f on the quiz.i started failing those classes and i was stressed with the video meetings cause there would be one right after another.i didnt get to pick my electives at all because the day i got the papers to see which ones i wanted they already picked them for me.and my dad was being a jerk the entire time as well as my sister so i was getting to a point of relaspe but didnt. im still kinda on that point but not that much.i dont go to therapy or a medication doctor anymore because the medication doctor kept telling me to lose weight when i was trying to, told my parents to send me to a children's home because i was not going to school because of the bullying and my regular doctor i had been seeing since i was a baby said the same because i was 'fakeing' being sick.i wasnt sick though but i was having an eating disorder still during that time to the point i was throwing up everything in my body every time i ate more than 6 bites of food.even the foods that were easy to eat i couldnt eat.and the reason i dont go to therapy is because all the ones i went to as a kid fired us for no reason and then a family counselor did the same thing because i was being rude.i was rude at all but i was pissed during that time cause i never got to talk and tell my side of the story and my family kept saying that raising my voice volume just a small bit was yelling and they still say that and my sister does the same with the voice volume but they dont say she is yelling when she is.if you guys have any of advice to help with any of this thank you.i have been wanting to vent for a long time but i didnt have a way to until now.

Heya-new here, but been out as pan for several years (& just didn't know the term before that).
This is long. If someone baring their life for context to their question is not for you, feel free to skip to the end(ish), or skip it altogether. For those of you who stick around, I appreciate your forbearance, as well as your help/advice/support/whathaveyou.
With how things are generally running in the world these days, I have no idea how to meet & connect w/people, let alone start dating, but I feel like that's where I'm headed. I'm also trying to continue to make friends & build a more comprehensive & cohesive chosen family.
To say I feel stymied is an understatement.
I've been told by fiends who no longer live here, as well as a few transplants from other places, that living in Seattle doesn't exactly help. The feedback I've had from most of these people is that the social scene here, regardless of the group &/or their focus-be it music, gardening, gaming, or anything else-is pretty much surface-fake & very toxic.
Having lived nowhere else, I have no real/other perspective with this, but the sentiments regarding all of it are both clear and consistent. Frankly, some of the things they've described as "normal" frienships/interactions elsewhere sound both completely foreign to me/my experience, & absolutely lovely. These people span not only this country, but a few are on different continents altogether-which makes that consistency significant.
I realize there's no such thing as a fantasy-perfect place, & that wherever you go, there you are is definitely true, but the social culture out here is pretty damn difficult.
To be honest, I'm not really all that surprised by these evaluations. I've considered moving for various reasons, but I'd be lying if I said this wasn't one of them.
However, for me, that's not as straightforward as it might be for most people.
For starters, I'm disabled & immunocompromised, which, as you might (correctly) excpect, complicates everything in my life. Ableism is also a constant challenge, & that absolutely includes social interactions.
I am also neurodivergent, which I say with pride, but can also cause issues with the wrong neurotypical people. I've experienced this in all aspects of my life, including a few disasterous relationships (or "learning experiences", ha ha, no).
There's additional, relevant background stuff (well, relevant to me, anyway) that provides some context for how I've arrived at this point.
Here's my (recentish) story:
My spouse left me in 2012, essentially because I became disabled during the relationship (very, very common, unfortunately).
Like many, I became very isolated while I was learning how to live w/my disability. When my marriage (suddenly, unexpectedly, & without a sandgrain of warning) abruptly ended I was alone in a boat in the middle of an empty sea.
Disabled people do not have marriage equality (yep, really.), so we were married in name only-legal marriage wasn't an option. At all. What that meant for me in practical terms (not to mention with regards to my survival) was that I had zero legal recourse for financial help-or anything else, for that matter.
It did not help that my family shocked me with their complete lack of support (devestating & baffling), & I was looking at the reality of needing to shop around for the least awful shelter, because I was for sure going to become unhoused.
My now ex stepped in, said they wouldn't be the one to make me unhoused, & said they would continue to live w/me until I found stable housing I could afford. I had no one to go to & nowhere else to go, so while my ex is trash in most other ways, I am very grateful to them for doing so, if not for much else.
Finding available housing I could afford took 3½ years.
(SSDI is incredibly fucked, & if you have no idea what I'm talking about, please educate yourself. The creator 'crutches & spice' is a great place to start, but please-people need to know how bad it really is, & recognise that even you could become disabled-today even! But I digress in a way only an audhd person can).
3½ years of living in nearly complete isolation, while also having to watch my ex go on w/their life (including dating & new relationships) was traumatic & incredibly painful. When I finally moved into my own place & was finally living alone, I was fully aware I had a lot to work through, work on, & figure out. Dating would have been the worst decision I could have made, & I knew it.
I spent a good chunk of time figuring my shit out, realizing I was nonbinary (really, just another term I had not yet encountered) & mostly focusing on building friendships (especially building my chosen family) .
I have not dated/hooked up/whatever since. This was completely by my own choice, & I stand by that decision as being the healthiest & most loving thing I have done for myself in a long time-maybe ever. I love living alone, & for the most part have learned to enjoy being solitary, experiencing no more loneliness than the average person seems to encounter along the way.
This has been somewhat compromised of late, as I had to euthanize my emotional support animal just under a year ago, followed by going low-contact with my parents shortly after. However, I have also worked very, very hard with my therapist regarding this, & we both agree I've made significant progress. In other words, I'm pretty certain at this point that I'm not trying to find someone to compensate for those losses.
I decided I was ready to do the scary thing & at least start dipping my toes (or maybe my foot...up to the knee?) into the dating pool, & began to feel that out...in late 2019.
Well, it doesn't take much of anything to know what came next: c19 hit & I was back to just staying home all the time (something I already had a lot of experience with, obviously, so during lockdown, much comfort & advice was given to those who did not-lucky bastards).
Since folks have now decided the pandemic is over (don't even get me started on that, except to say that most people see my safety needs as a huge inconvenience), I've gone back to attempting in-person interactions.
For example, I joined an lgbtqia+ (& allies) choir, & participte with a nonprofit that focuses on trauma-based teaching, providing free art classes to a highly varied student body.
But while I have made a (very) few friends along the way, dating seems to have been shoved off the table (again).
I had to leave the choir about a year ago (mainly for issues regarding their c19 policy changes that completely disregarded the several immunocompromised members of the choir-one of whom is now permanently disabled w/long covid-& the shitty way the choir leadership responded to those of us who voiced concerns/dissent).
The nonprofit is cool, but given the general population they serve, not exactly a mecca of dating options. Even friendships must be considered very carefully & evaluated often, though I very much believe in the value of the work they do, & have met some really lovely people.
I'm in an odd place of integration (ie letting shit settle), so I'm not even sure I want a relationship (yeah, yeah, I know-do not name the cup from which you will not drink). A friends-with-benfits type situation would be welcome, however, & I'm not opposed to being part of a polycule, either.
So I'm back to square one, and apps seem as good an idea as any...save for the horror stories I hear from others, especially people who are afab (like me).
If I had a name tag & was asked to label myself, "Disabled, nonbinary (afab), neurodivergent, immunocompromised, pansexual person" probably wouldn't fit.
I checked out a post in one of the bisexual-focused reddit groups regarding dating apps (& experiences therein), but much of the discussion didn't fully apply (or apply at all) to pansexual-identifying people. That wasn't a huge surprise, of course, but it was frustrating & dissappointing, for sure.
If you've made it this far, you get a Big Gold Star Thank You (!) & a request for thoughts, advice, suggestions, stories (I could use some funny &/or encouraging ones, to be honest), & any other relevant comments.
I'm open to in-person interaction, but if it's indoors, I have to mask up, & prefer masked events at venues with decent air circulation. This winter I missed several shows because I knew they'd be packed with unmasked people in a small space with abominable ventilation & air circulation. It sucks.
Online interaction is absolutely welcome, as it's the most likely to be accessible to me. Plus, with the summer weather already kicking in (thanks climate change!), the possibilities for &/or opportunities to actually meet in person are greatly increased.
*Please be kind (yeah, I know that's a tall order for the internet, but honestly, so far all y'all seem like pretty decent people).
I'm not generally very good at asking for help, & always worry that my story will just be seen as sob story (or incredibly boring). This post is part of my efforts to put all the work I've done in being accountable, taking real actions, & continuing to grow past that into practice. Scary as hell, but here we are.
Go Me.
That said, I'll most likely look at this tomorrow with embarrassment, thinking it is probably too much information-but even if I feel that way, I can ignore that & choose to believe otherwise. (Feel free to voice support to that effect, should you be so inclined).
OK. Thanks for reading, & thanks in advance for any help you may have to offer.
Cheers