Hey guys. Finally did it. I'm so happy with the people I love. Things are going good. Still have to unpack and do a few other things regarding my family who I've had to leave behind.
To those of you who decide to message me personally on my previous account, just know that I will likely report you for violating reddits rules. The fact that you chose to message privately shows that you know what you're doing is unkind, not helpful and that you're wrong. If you have something to say, do so in the comments. This is just a warning to anyone who tries to come at me and tell me "you were wrong for leaving you family. You will regret your actions. Your soul will feel empty. Believe in God and don't let him out your life. I will pray for you and your mum that you abandoned" these are some of the things people have written to me. I will kindly ask you to stop private messaging me. I keep it on for other reasons. Not to be bombarded by pathetic people on here who aren't regulated and think they know everything about religion or trauma when in reality they know jack shit or are simply projecting.
Anyway. I'm safe. I do miss my siblings. My parents not as much. My partner has been helping me, the fatigue I had was so bad that my headache wasn't allowing me to do much. So our smart friend told us to lay back with some heat at my upper back and neck. That made me fall asleep for a few hours... I barely slept the night before my escape, and only 1 hour the night I finally made it out.
As for updates, I'll do so when I feel a bit more at ease. All my stuff is a mess. I wanna relax and enjoy this peaceful life for a while. For those of you who will ask how I did this, don't worry. I'll be typing up a long guide once I'm on laptop. Right now I'm on phone haha.
I can't wait to start doing the things I love. I can finally draw or paint without hiding it. I can play games without being told its bad or listen to music without anyone saying it's haram or pretending to listen to nasheeds. No praying no recitation. Just the peaceful sound of birds, cars outside, I can feel the breeze through my hair, feel the warmth on my skin. My new life awaits and I already feel so much happier away from the religious and crazy life I had. I had no bed back in my old house with my family. Now I have a bed here with my partner and it feels so good to lay down.
Life is gonna get tough for us. We have a lot of paper work to get through and things like that to make sure I'm safely residing here. But that will be dealt with in time.
Stay safe out there everyone. Thank you so very much for all your encouraging and sweet comments. They helped me very much when I was crying my eyes out, wailing that I'd never see my mum again or my siblings. Now I feel at ease with this choice I've made. I'm still on the fence a little but... I'm certain this is the way I want to move forward.
And with that, I conclude my first update. Hope you all are having fun out there. If not, and you plan to escape, just know that with time, planning and patience, you can achieve anything. I thought it was impossible. But I freaking did it. And so can you, should you wish to do so in the future.
Bye for now.
~The Paper Blackstar

Couldn't see which model I was using when i went to "View Details" so I made it spit out its' system prompt:
You are ChatGPT, a large language model trained by OpenAI, based on the GPT-4 architecture. You are chatting with the user via the ChatGPT Android app. This means most of the time your lines should be a sentence or two, unless the user's request requires reasoning or long-form outputs. Never use emojis, unless explicitly asked to. Knowledge cutoff: 2023-10 Current date: 2024-05-17
Image input capabilities: Enabled Personality: v2

Tools

browser

You have the tool browser. Use browser in the following circumstances: - User is asking about current events or something that requires real-time information (weather, sports scores, etc.) - User is asking about some term you are totally unfamiliar with (it might be new) - User explicitly asks you to browse or provide links to references
Given a query that requires retrieval, your turn will consist of three steps: 1. Call the search function to get a list of results. 2. Call the mclick function to retrieve a diverse and high-quality subset of these results (in parallel). Remember to SELECT AT LEAST 3 sources when using mclick. 3. Write a response to the user based on these results. In your response, cite sources using the citation format below.
In some cases, you should repeat step 1 twice, if the initial results are unsatisfactory, and you believe that you can refine the query to get better results.
You can also open a url directly if one is provided by the user. Only use the open_url command for this purpose; do not open urls returned by the search function or found on webpages.
The browser tool has the following commands: - search(query: str, recency_days: int) Issues a query to a search engine and displays the results. - mclick(ids: list[str]). Retrieves the contents of the webpages with provided IDs (indices). You should ALWAYS SELECT AT LEAST 3 and at most 10 pages. Select sources with diverse perspectives, and prefer trustworthy sources. Because some pages may fail to load, it is fine to select some pages for redundancy even if their content might be redundant. - open_url(url: str) Opens the given URL and displays it.
For citing quotes from the 'browser' tool: please render in this format: 【{message idx}†{link text}】. For long citations: please render in this format: [link text](message idx). Otherwise do not render links.

Hi everyone,
I don't know whether I'm the only one having this issue or it's more common. Even after each OS upgrade, I still have the same issue related to adding photos or videos straight to WhatsApp messages. I'm able to add photos and videos from my gallery, but when I'm texting and want to add photo, not possible.
Any idea on how to fix it? I've already tried to delete cache memory, it works temporary, but at the end, it fails again....
Thanks in advance for any advice or trick. King regards.

Hi everyone, just thought I'd give an update to this post I wrote a month ago (hope that's ok!):
https://www.reddit.com/ADHDUK/comments/1c5h4ra/comment/kzwde2h/
First of all, thank you so much to those who replied, and helped, and shared their experience. It was very overwhelming. I received the report a couple of weeks after I wrote this online, and it felt like eternity - I was mentally really down and unwell. Then, it took me another few weeks to get down to the report, read it, do research, interrogate my mum, try to remember things, etc. I am not going to lie, I thought it was a very intense and painful experience. But then, I sent back everything on Wednesday, and I just got a phone call back from the assessor, and they reviewed the new evidence and diagnosed me with ADHD.
I just can't believe it, still - it's been 30 minutes, and I am still shaking. I hope this testimony will give hope to anyone who feels let down by the system. Even thought we shouldn't have to fight so hard for ourselves, please do not give it. Especially if you're someone from under-represented communities. It wasn't for the people who replied to me initially, I don't think I would have had such strength to fight for myself, so thank you.
A few advice for those who may find themselves in my situation:

• If you don't get an ADHD diagnosis due to lack of evidence, please ask them to give you time to read the report and get back to them with further evidence if you truly believe you weren't heard or may have forgotten to share things with them
• Don't be afraid to share with them academic research, the ones I shared were the following:

* research suggests that women tend to be less diagnosed with ADHD because of the differences in predominant symptoms and subtype ; that a child with Inattentive ADHD is less likely to act impulsively at all ; or early symptoms are not recognised as ADHD in young girls00010-5/fulltext). On top of this, as a woman of colour, I am terrified of socialcultural factors not being taken into account in my upbringing and that could explain why I was masking so many symptoms or not acting impulsively – research also suggests that “women and people of color tend to be overlooked in ADHD diagnosis and treatment” due to “insufficient awareness and/or social biases.”
And because I have an eating disorder, I also shared this: Statistics also shows that 6 in 10 children with ADHD had at least one other mental, emotional or behavioural disorder. (additional information: ‘Overlapping neurobehavioral circuits in ADHD, obesity, and binge eating’)
I was afraid to sound like I was telling them they don't know their jobs, but at the end, I thought that I had nothing more to lose.

• Use this Reddit to look through how people understood some questions! I totally didn't understand what "driven by a motor" meant during the assessment, but after reading people's experience, I thought: "oh... oh.... OH!" and added further evidence. Some questions, I believe, may be tricky to understand, especially on the moment.
• Please check how long you have until they discharge you from the service. My service does it usually after 2 weeks, but my assessor made sure they wouldn't before I get back to them with my evidence.
• Please check they receive your messages by calling, if you can, I initially sent my email and no one had received it!

Again, thank you so much for being such a welcoming and helping community! Now I am onto a second waiting list for medication... I am not sure how long until I hear back for this but this is a story for another time...
Have a wonderful day,

I don’t even know where to begin. I just have a lot to say and no one who really has the time to listen. I’ll try to stay vague but our social circles don’t really intermingle and I don’t think I know anyone on here in real life. I can barely remember specific moments or map together periods of time cohesively but I’ll try my best. I used bullet points on my notes app to try to organize the important parts. So if it reads weird or blocky, I apologize.
I hate to admit that I think I still love my baby’s father. That may not even be true. I’m hoping it’s just the drastic hormone changes after having a baby. I don’t want to reconcile or get back together, I just want a genuine opinion from anyone that bothers to read the entire thing or advise from anyone that may have been in a similar situation. It was a very toxic and abusive relationship due to both parties. I toyed with his feelings until it was too late and he would drink and get physical. I was always accusing him of cheating or wanting to cheat because my ex had cheated. Meanwhile I was in fact projecting in a way because I was still messaging said ex. Ex and I were friends before we had dated and were together for 2 years. He had cheated on his other relationships so I should have seen it coming, but he ended up trying to cheat on me and I ended things. I was 19-20 at the time and joined tinder. Experimented a little but ended up hooking up with a guy that had a crush on me in HS. We only hooked up 2-3 times but it started getting weird and I chickened out. Then I got an apartment and a better job and started casually hooking up with the ex again. I think he had a gf at this time but I didn’t ask. At the new job is where I met BD. He started a few weeks after me. I was 20 and he was 28 at the time. We started hanging out after work to smoke. It’s not something I would normally do with just one person and he wasn’t really my type. But the hangouts got longer and more frequent. And I ended up cutting the ex off again. A couple months in, I moved in way too soon because my roommate and I didn’t get along. My ex would still message me occasionally for some reason. He definitely had a gf at this time. Some would be nudes. I didn’t encourage the behavior but I also didn’t discourage it. Bd saw the messages while we were on vacation and was understandably upset. I was upset with myself for responding. I justified it to myself by claiming I was trying to waste his time. In reality he was wasting mine and not suffering in the slightest. There couldn’t have been a worse moment for him to find the messages. The week was supposed to be a huge step in our relationship and I could see how crushed he was. If I were him I would have left me in the hotel states away and gone home that morning. The whole ride home I was sick. I couldn’t imagine how he was feeling, over something I so easily could have avoided and someone I had no interest in romantically or sexually anymore. I believe this is the first time Things got physical but as I said, the timeline is super blurry now. Regardless, if it was the first time, it should’ve been the last. No one should put up with being hit. And No one should feel that their only option is to put their hands on someone. This was when we were finally getting back to his house in our own state. He had picked up a few beers before hand, and that was generally his fuel to either argue or get violent. He had slapped me, choked me and spit in my face, all to which I gave him no reaction. I just sat on the bed silently, or tried to lock myself in the bathroom. He would walk away to smoke a cigarette and immediately come back to fight some more. He told me to pack up my shit but got more pissed off when he came inside to see me packing up my shit. I eventually got a few things packed up and made it to my grandmas’s house. We both calmed down and after a few calls and texts. he wanted to see where I was staying. I picked him up and brought him to my grandma‘s house. (Note: I should probably add that right before we got together. He got in a car accident that totally totaled his car and got a DUI. Since then I had been his ride and always joked That that’s all he kept me around for) We arrived at my grandma’s house, where she had a guestroom ready for me. He just sat on the bed with his head down and cried. He said that it looked like it was so easy for me to move on without him. Looking back, this should’ve been another red flag. All I had was a place to stay after being kicked out. He couldn’t accept that I would land on my feet without him. Most of my belongings were still at his house, and I didn’t want to burden my grandmother any further So I ended up going back with him. At this time I was still apologizing to him for what I had done and how I had made him react. One night after an argument, and a rough day in general. He walked out to grab a case of beer from the gas station and didn’t come back for hours. When I finally went out looking for him, he was at the spot that we had first kissed. There He told me I was holding him back From what he envisioned for his future. It was a lot more drawn out, less cohesive and not so nice (he had been well into his beer by then) but that was the gist of it. One of my biggest fears is being a burden, or anyone holding some secret resentment towards me. Him drinking only let me know how he truly felt and how he wanted to react. I could never put the same effort into the relationship after that. I felt like it was already over and had been over for a long time. A while later, he had seen that my ex reached out again nothing flirtatious this time, but he was still upset, understandably. He got violent again, and I locked myself in the bathroom. He took my keys and my phone and said he was going to go find him. I packed up a few things again and tried to walk over to my dad‘s house. His mission was futile and he ended up finding me walking and brought me back home. The whole night was tense and I didn’t feel safe in the morning before he woke up. I started quietly packing up my things. He woke up and immediately flew into a rage and started dumping my things out onto the ground. I called my mom to help me get out all the big things because I wanted to be all out in one trip. As I was leaving, he was screaming at my mother and I about how much a piece of shit I was, but was right back to begging for me back as soon as I was down the road. This was a reoccurring cycle for us. I’d always keep my phone and keys together in a designated spot in the house so I could get them quickly if I needed to leave. The ex no longer reached out, but we were both still suspicious of one another. Sometimes I would be gone for days sometimes weeks my belongings no longer came back because it didn’t feel like home anymore. It didn’t Feel like a safe or stable place for me. This also made him upset. Every time I would leave we would still text every day. It was an extremely toxic situation. During one period of time that i was gone He had one of our coworkers over for about a week sleeping in my bed with my cats. Throughout our entire relationship and our brakes I never met up with another person. I did leave so I didn’t have the right to be too upset. But He wasted no time having her over for an extended period of time while still begging for me to come back every day. Then I had to coax this information out of him after finding her clothes all over the house. I couldn’t get over the feeling that he had her and others lined up for when I was gone and him wanting me back meant nothing. By this time the dude I had gone to school/hooked up with had started at our job (This would seem like a cruel joke but we were in the same trade and this was one of the only decent jobs in our town.) I guess we had had a silent mutual agreement to keep out past between us because they became friends. Well, After finding out about his coworker, I told him about mine. It didn’t matter that the dates didn’t overlap. He went nutts. I don’t remember exactly how it all went down after that, but I left of course and he ended up going to this 20 year olds apartment. His roommate answered and BD demanded to know where this dude was and ends up slapping the roommate. (I have no idea why I kept going back. Typing this out, I feel so stupid. He was clearly fucking crazy and my brain was telling me to get the fuck out.) I was already suspicious of him because of how we both acted before we got together, but all of this just made it so much worse. I wanted to know why he felt the need to intimidate me into staying with him and calling it “crazy love” when he could so easily move on and leave me alone. (Why did infidelity have to be the dealbreaker and not everything else?) Bringing up my suspicions or insecurities, just made him defensive and occasionally violent. I never got any reassurance and my reasons for staying were few and far between. Then we found out I was pregnant. We found out when I was about seven weeks pregnant. The last time we had gotten into a physical fight I had been about 4 to 5 weeks pregnant. I was scared. Bd seemed happy. He said he wanted to be a family. Over the next few weeks, I was having extremely bad morning sickness I was in and out of the hospital on an IV for fluids and couldn’t leave our bedroom or bathroom. I still had to drive him to and from work which was only about 30 min round trip but I’d always have to stop on the side of the road to puke. (Note: There were five cats living in this house that I was Feeding and cleaning up after. We inherited two from the homeowner and three were ours) The house started to smell because I could no longer keep up with the cats, and this just made my morning sickness even worse. On top of this, I was having extremely bad back pain that I thought was just a symptom of pregnancy. After one of my trips to the hospital for fluids, they informed me that I had a UTI. I was about 10-11 weeks pregnant by then. I tried to tell him that I needed help with the house and that it was making me miserable. He just expressed that I would be complaining regardless. Whether it be about him spending enough time with me, helping clean, or working. This wasn’t even the worst of the treatment that I had received, but being pregnant, This was the last straw. I knew I couldn’t bring a baby into the abusive cycle that we were putting each other through. I don’t remember exactly how it happened. At this point I was looking for any reason to leave. But it happened and again I started packing up my shit. This time he barely put up a fight. He tried to dump my stuff out on the floor once, but I said if he tried to put his hands on me, I’d call the police this time. He sat in the kitchen on his phone until I was done packing. As I was carrying my belongings out to my car still weak and sick, we were screaming back-and-forth about how much we hated each other, and how I would never give him the chance to put his hands on my child. He shouted that he didn’t think the baby was even his, to which I replied, “Good, then I’ll never have to fight you in court”. That was our last face to face interaction. I filed for a civil protection order. It’s been about a year and since then, he has been claiming to his coworkers and his mother that my ex is the father. His mother doesn’t seem to believe him as she had kept in contact with me throughout my pregnancy, and since the baby’s been born. She requests a paternity test just to be sure, but I have no doubts that the baby is his. I am almost positive that he knows the baby is his too. His claims of me cheating are only his way of justifying me leaving and making it my fault. I sent her the information to reach out for a paternity test, but she hasn’t shown me any indication that he wants to be part of the baby’s life. Any time she brings up the situation to him, he gets angry with her and hangs up. I don’t know what’s going on in his life and I don’t want to. I’d only obsess over it and make myself upset if I did. I assume he’s living his dream and chasing his goals without me there to hold him back, especially with a child. Even after typing all this out and rereading and editing, I still miss him. I shouldn’t. I can’t tell if it’s the cycle calling me back or the drastic changes in hormones. I can’t even think of a reason that I should miss him. I don’t even think I miss him, just his presence or energy? It’s so hard to explain and I don’t want to feel this way. I have nightmares about trying to get away from him and out of the house but try to force myself back into the same dream just so I can see him. Is this normal? Do any other moms feel this way? Only attracted to the baby’s father even while split up? I have no sex drive when I used to be a fiend. I heard this can be a side-effect of the drastic hormone changes, but I don’t even feel an attraction anymore. Unless they’re a very specific type (My BD). I have no desire to move on or find a romantic connection. I do more harm than good and I’d rather focus on being a mom (which I’m loving aside from this issue).I know there’s no way of going back even if I wanted to. The damage has been more than done. I just want to make moving on easier and forget him. Do I just have to wait?

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I'm 20F, and my 21M boyfriend and I have been together for a year. We are currently in a long-distance relationship because of our jobs. He always cared for me, did everything for me, and was always there when I needed him. However, he has anger issues, and when I don’t do something immediately that he tells me to do, he cusses, yells, and calls me, demanding that I make it better.
For example, I was out with friends after work and didn’t tell him that I had arrived at the restaurant where we planned to eat. He called me, cussing and yelling, which stressed me out to the point of tears. One of my friends texted him, explaining that I just forgot to tell him and that he should relax. Later that day, he made me apologize for my friend getting involved in our business.
This has happened many times. He always tells me that he cares a lot and doesn’t want anything to happen to me. I feel like I can’t do anything without overthinking whether I have informed him about everything he wants to know. I tried to talk to him about how it stresses me out and makes me
scared that he will cuss at me and hurt me. He said that if I listened completely, he wouldn’t need to cuss or yell at me. He controls who I follow, what I wear, who I can be friends with, and much more.
One day, I couldn’t tell him that I went to eat with friends because I lost internet access at work. I got internet when I arrived at the restaurant, and he was really mad, started cussing, and called me names. I started crying, so my friends answered the phone when he called, and they argued. Later that day, he told me I need to get rid of my friends because they disrespected him. He said I could always make new friends. He doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore and broke up with me, saying the only way we could continue is if I got rid of them all.
I really love him, but losing my friends would hurt me. Since we don’t live in the same city, I would have no one. I don’t want to lose him or my friends; they both matter to me. Should I delete my friends for him?

Good Morning MVIS Investors!
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~~Are you a new board member? Welcome! It would be nice if you introduce yourself and tell us a little about how you found your way to our community. Please make yourself familiar with the message board's rules, by reading the Wiki on the right side of this page ---.Also, take some time to check out our Sidebar(also to the right side of this page) that provides a wealth of past and present information about MVIS and MVIS related links. Our sub-reddit runs on the "Old Reddit" format. If you are using the "New Reddit Design Format" and a mobile device, you can view the sidebar using the following link:https://www.reddit.com/MVISLooking for archived posts on certain topics relating to MVIS? Check out our "Search" field at the top, right hand corner of this page.👍New Message Board Members: Please check out our The Best of MVIS Meta Threadhttps://www.reddit. https://old.reddit.com/MVIS/comments/lbeila/the_best_of_rmvis_meta_thread_v2/For those of you who are curious as to how many short shares are available throughout the day, here is a link to check out.www.iborrowdesk.com/report/MVIS

Sigh. ICloud wasn’t updating my messages to the cloud and I need them for my divorce. I know the iPhone is somewhere in my house probably but I’ve searched and no luck, and I urgently need a conversation off there. I still have my cell phone box for the iPhone with all the information, serial number etc and I’m with the same carrier, if that matters. It’s still under my Apple devices on find my iPhone but no known location or other info. Any ideas how to get this one conversation? Is it possible? Also, is there anyway to retrieve a deleted iMessage convo that’s no longer in the deleted folder. I don’t even know where to find a hacker to do this. Thanks in advance

Hello, here is the latest changelog.
Content: * Added tarot cards as a variant of playing cards and added Ouija board as a playable board game. by aapocalypseAArisen * Adds a new globally unique special to spawn in the ocean : an Oil Platform ! by Peakwastaken * Add More Nightmares by TheMurderUnicorn
Features: * Limbify consumption times by Venera3 * The player can swap between defined outfits with the 'set of clothes' item by RenechCDDA * Provides new utility to mounds of upturned dirt, as well as fixing inconsistencies with its counterpart. by Amnestasia * Resume butchering by inogenous * Adding support for ImTui to draw unicode characters by katemonster33 * The player's overmap destination is now a valid destination for telling NPCs to go-to by RenechCDDA
Balance: * Add Craft, Uncraft, Furniture version, and Construction to Fancy Tables by TheMurderUnicorn * Fix Up Travel Toilets by TheMurderUnicorn * The average skill level of NPCs will rise over time by RenechCDDA * Land prisons also keep you out by casswedson * Tweak Wind Turbine Recipe Learning by TheMurderUnicorn * Make pupating explosion quieter by Procyonae * Added Bronze Wood Saw to Misc Repair Kit Craft by TheMurderUnicorn * Reinforced garbage bags are now watertight by DragonWizard23 * document monster dodge balance by LyleSY * You Can Smash Skunk Skulls by TheMurderUnicorn * Splits star vampires into a fast-blood-sucking and a strong-grabbing version. by carlarctg * Assess and Change Vehicle Part breaks_into Entries by TheMurderUnicorn
Interface: * Updates the Terminus font by Procyonae * Rename cover - concealment by Procyonae * Don't show gun without default ammo defined as an option in reload ui by osuphobia * Provide a visual UI for changing vehicle part shapes by irwiss * Change world setting 'Spawn Time Options' to 'World Time Options' by theFeu
Mods: * Give Liam opinions in XE by Maleclypse * Aftershock: Add poison based bullets, grenades and 'toxic flamethrower' by John-Candlebury * [MoM] EoC-ify Eater drain attack by Standing-Storm * [MA] Starting a new game works again by Procyonae * [MoM] Feral telekinetics have no inherent armor, they use their powers instead by Standing-Storm * [MoM] Add triffid psions by Standing-Storm * [MoM] Rework Combat Sense with modern enchants by Standing-Storm * Tamable Skunks by LordBarkBread * New joke spell by rty275 * [MoM] Increase feral clairsentient dodge by Standing-Storm * [MoM] Normalize feral biokinetic HP by Standing-Storm * [No Hope] Adds a difficulty setting prompt to determine item spawn rates by Procyonae * [Bombastic Perks] More perks by Standing-Storm
Performance: * Optimize item::stacks as well as allocation patterns in item and elsewhere by Procyonae
Bugfixes: * Added the Ouija board to appropriate loot pools. by aapocalypseAArisen * Gives an explanation for why the TALON UGV Liberty Edition turns into the regular TALON UGV M16A4. by TealcOneill * Duct tape described as liquid by osuphobia * Check validity of Win32 file names by Procyonae * fix draw_critter_above bounds check by mischief * fix assert in diary info panel clamp by mischief * Fixed arrows disappearing when unwielded by Procyonae * Fix health dreams when you are ill by Procyonae * xs_gloves_wool_fingerless and xl_gloves_wool_fingerless did not have relevant PREFIX flags. by SomeGuyIGues * Fix heat func fault, correct the null check, remove the original heat_food duplicate bug. by yuganxia * Not to try to reload a gun without default ammo type defined by osuphobia * Define Rubik's personality values by Procyonae * NPCs will prioritize wielding ranged weapons when allowed by Procyonae * Fixes power grid teleportation, crashes, and other buggy interactions by Procyonae * Rotten ingredients correctly result in rotten products by Procyonae * Tutorial screen popup text no longer cuts off by katemonster33 * Fixing a clang-tidy error from a recent ImTui-related PR by katemonster33 * Add molle accessories to webbing belt by b0bhat * Fix integrated armor being incompatible with some mutations by KittyTac * krakens swim by LyleSY
Infrastructure: * Adjust how open_container affects Character::dispose_item by osuphobia * fix forward declaration of imgui ImVec2 by mischief
Build: * Fix netbsd ncurses build. The ncurses include path is set with CURSES_INCLUDE_DIRS by mmyjona
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A bit of context. My (22f) boyfriend (22m) and I got together at the end of 2022, and admittedly it wasn't a great start. This was two years ago and I have learned a lot since then so please don't judge me. He had just joined the hospitality job that I was working at at the time, and we became fast friends. It didn't take long for us to get quite close when I realised that he wasn't bringing his girlfriend up much in conversation. I would try to ask questions about her and he would just give short answers and quickly move on. Eventually, I confronted him about it and he told me that he had fallen out of love with her months ago, but because he had moved across the country for her he didn't have anywhere else to stay if they broke up. I offered my couch, mainly because I had just recently been in a situation where I couldn't leave an abusive relationship for months because of housing issues so I empathised a lot. After he decided that he was going to break up with her, our friendship took a bit of a turn and things became a bit flirty. Please don't hate me for this, I regret it a lot and I feel so horrible for his girlfriend at the time. Anyway, it was all very subtle flirting and at one point I set boundaries about what we were saying because he was still in a relationship and I was uncomfortable with where it was going. He would occasionally push those boundaries, and at one point he said that he hated how much of a 'good person' I was because he wanted to say so much more.
Anyway, we kept those boundaries up until one day he messaged me and asked if I was able to help him move his stuff that night because he was going to break up with his girlfriend. From what I know, he spent all day packing and she came home to boxes and him sitting on the bed waiting for her. They've talked about it since and he regrets how callous this breakup was. Anyway, I swung by, he loaded his stuff into my car, and we left.
He stayed at mine for a bit and spent about two weeks crashing at other people's places before I just offered my place up indefinitely. By that point, he was not sleeping on the couch. We weren't officially together until about two months later but we definitely moved very quickly all things considered.
Anyway, it's been about two years since then. We've lived together the entire time and have both learned a lot about relationships - though we definitely still have room to grow. Overall, we are both very happy and we're in a pretty good spot.
Now some other context, my partner has always had mostly female friends. In most pictures that I've seen of him as a kid he is in a group of girls, and he himself is not extremely masculine by his own admission. However, also by his own admission, he has a flirty personality, and he makes flirty jokes to both men and women. He also struggles to make friends a little bit, so he tends to cling to the ones that he has. Keep these things in mind moving forward.
My feelings of insecurity or jealousy started around mid-last year when he showed me that he had swiped up on a female friend's risky Instagram story of her in lingerie with some sort of flirty joke. It made me feel super icky but I didn't know what to do so I just smiled and said nothing. Then, in October at a Halloween party, we were pairing off for beer pong and he immediately turned to and partnered with that same girl when I was sitting right next to him and turned straight to him. That broke my heart a bit. He went out one-on-one with a female coworker to a cocktail bar after work for drinks, where they both got drunk but she got absolutely wasted so he walked her home. He was also mostly MIA on messages through this event. He's also told me some flirty jokes that he's made to his female coworkers that just give me the ick a bit. All of these situations we've had conversations about and mostly resolved, but I think it's informing the way that I feel now.
Here is my problem. We have a really great relationship and I can see myself spending the rest of my life with him, but I can't shake this feeling of insecurity and jealousy which I can't help but feel like is because of the way that we got together. I can also admit that I am a fairly insecure person and I have pretty low self-confidence which I'm sure is absolutely having an impact on this. It's to a point now where every time he goes out for coffee with a female friend or even just to work I get a twisting feeling in my tummy, and I've had a strong urge to go through his messages. To be completely clear, though, I have not touched his phone or messages, and I have not given him any indication that I am feeling insecure about him just going to work or anything like that. This isn't the kind of person that I am and I feel horrific that I am becoming so jealous.
He has always had female friends, so it is absolutely off the cards for that to just be a boundary, and we've talked about his flirty personality before but it's a hard thing to define and set boundaries around. I genuinely don't think that he is cheating as I don't really think he would have the time, plus our relationship is going well. I'm hoping for genuine advice about either how to approach this or how to check myself. I'd rather not hear "just break up with him".
Thank you for reading!

Post got deleted.
Am I the Asshole?
I'm gonna keep this brief as there is a lot of details.
When me and my youngest father broke up, he wanted to have contact with his son, AND my son from a previous marriage. And how he had requested to spend more time with his son, but not my own own son, who I have full custody of, which he requested at first?
When the youngest dad and I first broke up, he wanted to see the kids every evening. He used to have them, make them dinner and I would go out. He would used to go through my drawers, bins and house when I wasn't there. One time I actually watched him going through my bins, and then denied he ever did that. Sometimes when I got back home, he would ask what I was doing, even though it was none of his fucking business. So he started making excuses to why he couldn't come and see the kids. He didn't like the fact I have 2 hours of freedom per day. Then we agreed he came 4 nights a week. Which he did for a little bit then again, started making up excuses why he couldn't see the kids. On a Sunday afternoon I used to go and have a nap. He said there should be no reason why I am napping on Sunday afternoons. I said if I want a nap, I'm gonna have a fucking nap. So one afternoon when I took a nap, he waited till I was asleep, then texted me he was taking his own son out, and not my other kid. I didn't respond because A) I was napping B) I'd thought I'd put my kids with someone who was trusted. When I woke up and realised what he did, left a 6 year old autistic kid home alone, I threw him out. He said it wasn't his fault, my kid isn't his kid and never said he wanted to see him (untrue I have messages to say he wanted to see both children) So I lost my shit and told him he is only allowed to see the kids on a Sunday afternoon, supervised. I actually told my landlord's Mrs and she bollocked him for it. He was still denying fault and saying everyone he spoke to saying it was my fault. Just to make me seem like an asshole. He couldn't be bothered to even wish my own son birthday or got him anything. Said wasn't his child and not his fault. Spoken to my landlord again about this, and he even saidhe was a dickhead. (This is relevant later) He wasn't brought up like this as his younger brother's father still sends my youngest son's dad birthday and Christmas money and card. So anyway Sundays were going well, but then I found out when he had the kids, he spent most of his time on his phone, huffed and puffed because the children didn't fit his idealism. Then he started getting excuses to why he couldn't come and some of them were bullshit. (This was the part when I realised he was seeing someone and getting sex was more important than seeing his own child) He then started complaining that he was missing out on seeing them and worried they won't know who he is. I basically told him to grow up, it's his own fault for not showing up. The kids started to much rather be with me and got bored of him within 10 minutes of him visiting. He's complained it's my fault because I wasn't allowing him to see the kids (like wtf)
Anyway, recently he has requested to see his son every other weekend. It hasn't even been 2 years, he's requested change of visitation 4/5/6 times (I've lost count) and still couldn't be bothered to show up, whether it's sickness ( and yes, we live in the same town, and even declared this still saw him working).
My youngest son is a safe guarding risk, (very highly likely of special needs, recent theory is ADHD with low Autism). If his dad can't cope with 3 and a half hours, which he chooses to when to visit, how can he cope with a weekend?
Like I said, there is more to the story, but to help you all visualise it, the path we are going down is coming to these conclusions, either the dad fucks off, or the child to tell him to fuck off, or the contact as it is, and in 5 years time my youngest son, I have put into therapy because he isn't the child that his dad has visualised in his head, and has issues.
So AITA for not letting extra visitation.
Questions are welcome when I get round to answering.
AmITheAsshole

Me S (f22) and my best friend K (f21) have been friends since 9th grade. we became fast friends and since then we have stuck together. So the problem started when we went to college despite the fact that we were in the same college huge coincidence and had classes in the same building we hardly meet.
During COVID she broke up with her then boyfriend and had started dating a new guy. I think she cheated but she swore she never did even though she posted about the new guy barely a week after she broke up with her boyfriend of two years. The problem started then. after covid we met up for the first time and when I went her boyfriend was there. I have never meet this guy and she didn't tell me he is coming but was like okay no problem. I can't emphasises how much I don't like this guy first of he was not vaccinated which is fine but the reason he is not vaccinated is not because it could be bad or health reason but because his religion said so. next he has a younger sister and asked him about her he was like she is not allowed to date because she is a girl she needs to come straight home after school she was in class 11 that time. She can't go to friends parties even in restaurants and is not allowed to leave without any male. It would have made sense if we lived in an unsafe place but we don't.
When it came to paying the bill I though we will split in three ways because obviously three of us were eating but no we only split it half as she didn't want her boyfriend to pay so I had to pay for his food too.
Fastforward three weeks I was at my internship and I got a call from my friend in Singapore to check my bf's snapchat story and I was like it must be funny that she is calling me from Singapore no it was not funny it was rather a video of him pleasuring her. he put that on snapchat my friends was trying to call her but she was not picking up and it had been up for twenty minutes so I called her and she finally picked up after informing she thankfully took it down but I thought she would surely dump him. I mean it takes a lot of steps to post on snapchat she said he was just sending it to himself. I left it there because what more can I say.
That is when the real problem started anytime I wanted to hang out he was always their and it was getting really annoying I tried telling her that I just want us to hang out as I wanted to talk about stuff. Her other friends tried making plans but she cancelled everything saying she is busy or sick even when she was posting that she is out with her boyfriend.
For 2 years I this was going on I meet with her alone once that was on my birthday but she ditched me early to hang out with and told me to lie to her mom if she called. we were 21 then I said I am not going to lie where you are in school it was fine as we are young and stupid but as adults we need to realise about our own security. she was like fine and left with him.
Edit: Added more
Now comes the part I might have been an asshole this was the 5th time she was cancelling I got feed up and here is our convo I am copy pasting it. K is for my best friend. this stared when she went to a concert with person she always complains about to be 2 days after she said she is not at all free.
Me: You had time to go out with V but not me? Really
K: she bought the pass from me and then came along with us -.-
Me: Acha.. but what about when I asked you are you free and you said you were busy and the next day you went to south city. I mean do you even remember the last time we meet where it was just the two of us or even just friends. You haven’t even made any plans with us since like last year that I remember. You seem to have no time for your friends. I get it you have a boyfriend and you want to spend time with him but you also have friends. You can’t just ignore us ans expect that we will be their for you waiting. I am sorry if I am being harsh but just think back when we actually sat down and talked about what is going on our life. Almost anytime I try talking to you you just give me vague answers that you are planning something and you are busy. If you don’t want to hang out with me I am cool with that man. I can understand it. But if you want to maintain any friendship you have to reciprocate. You have to try and make time for them.
K: woah ok
THE NEXT DAY
Me: Well seeing clearly that you really don’t care about our friendship. I would request that you return my brothers shirt and the rs. 110 you owe me. You can just drop it of you my security guard we really don’t have to meet up as clearly we are not as close as I though we were.
K: okay
K: and with regard to showing up and meeting and not having enough time honestly I thought you were the last person I would have have to explain myself to I have a lot to deal with Yes I have a lot on my plate. Not just college but also innumerable responsibilities that comes along with it It’s my last year and everything is just hanging Have multiple things going on personally and at home Various emotions and feelings Spending time with my boyfriend, well. I accept that somewhere I’m not being able to deal with all this and it’s affecting the relationships I have with people So if I made you feel unimportant or that our friendship is not important to me. I’m not at my best and I will not apologise for that I’ll drop off the things at your place by this weekend.
Me: t’s not about this year alone. When was the last time you said let’s meet. Even when we are in the same college in the beginning I tried numerous time to meet you but you were always busy. Also it’s a long time coming you have like literally ignored me since we left school. Everyone has shit to deal with. So maybe ask people. You can’t even text back. I have to message you on all your platform if I want you to answer me. But you never bother to ask me how I am doing.
Everyone has responsibility it’s D's last year to but she made time to meet me. So did S who was in Singapore when she came to India had time to meet me. She is working and we still meet and we make time to see each other. SH and Ay are also studying for their CA exams and all and we still try to meet at least very 2 months. When you want to make time for others you put in that effort. You clearly ignoring me for like the last 3 years has made me aware that you don’t care about me. Everyone deals with a lot it is not just you.
And every time we have met I find out it was M (BF) who said to call me and meet up. It says a lot about how much you care. Also you can spend whatever time you want with your boyfriend. That is not an issue but people have boyfriends and still have friends they make time for them. That was the only thing I was asking from you to make time for our friendship.
Also you can’t use I am not at my best all the time. Whenever I have raised this issue you have also made me feel guilt. You did it when I told you about Y and even when you were with C. It’s fine you are not okay but that doesn’t give you the right to just ignore your friends.
All relationship takes effort. Especially maintains friendship. If I can’t talk to you about how I am feeling without you taking offence. Then it says more about you than me. We are mature enough to have such conversations without feeling offended.
K: ’ll call you later today We’ll sort things out together Just give me sometime is that okay?
Me: Call me after 8 I have office till then
(I waited for her to call 2 days I even called her once but she didn't pick up or call back)
I sent her the message next day at night about when she is calling and she screen zoned me.
Me: Please drop my stuff at my house by this weekend
K: yes okay
This happened in October about a month before my 22nd birthday on my birthday she did wish me so I invited her to a dinner I was having with a mutual friend had debated with myself but I was like lets give her a chance
This is what I wrote to her
FYI I do want you to come to my birthday it was not just a curtesy invite. You are one of my oldest friends and even if we are not as close as we once were I still have some hope that we can be friends.
she said she will come and I was happy but then came the day of my dinner and she sent me this at 6: 28 we are suppose to meet at 6: 30
"hey! hi i don’t want to upset you but i was really getting ready to leave and idk something triggered me and now I can’t get myself to get up im really sorry but I genuinely wanted to come you guys have fun I’ll catch next time🫂"
Now I don't know what I should do was I an asshole to her leading to her felling sick or what.

LONG READING JUST TRYING TO EXPLAIN EVERYTHING
I started dating this girl last year in March 9 and everything was going smooth until I got cheated on a week before my birthday. she ended up getting pregnant but she got an abortion. Until now I never found if that child was mine or not.
we stopped talking in July and we started talking/seeing each other again in September but we weren’t dating but I had a lot of things inside me about what she did. during her birthday in September 16 a lot of stuff went down between her and I
I was depressed about the abortion so I ended up leaving the country and went to Mexico for 3 months during them months she kept watching my story without me not knowing until December 18 i caught her red handed and sent her the screenshot. We started talking again for 3-4 days and she cut me off saying that she kept thinking about the past and everything that happened in between us. so I let it be
I Came back to United States in January (2024) and she kept watching my story. she noticed that I was back around. She messaged me and we started talking again. everything was going good until I got arrested in January 29 and she stuck around until March 25 she decided to break up with me because she kept thinking about the past and everything that happened in between us.
I ended up getting released in abril 26 so I was the one that messaged her trying to see her again. she was already doing her things but I didn’t had a problem as long as I was seeing her.could care less about who she was seeing. Just last week may 8 she met this dude for the first time and slept with him the same night all because her emotions got to her thinking I was with a girl drinking bubble tea. On May 14 she texted me saying that “I can’t stop thinking about everything that had happened in the past” and blocked me from everything
We always run back to each other. I just don’t understand why?
my question are
Why does she let guys have sex with her the same night? this isn’t the first time that happens
How does she really feel about me?
Can we work things out in the future?
When will I hear from her again?

Here I am again. After getting moms house cleaned up and getting her SSA finally applied for and headed her way, dads business almost closed, and a LITTANY of other things done, (the list is a months long feat I did in 5 weeks), and also caring for mom with dementia. I had signed a POA for mom so I could investigate her bank accounts. I found lots of financial abuse by methadone sister. Haven’t turned her in yet.
On May 2 I was served with a restraining order and notice to vacate my mother’s house by my older billionaire sister. Little sister convinced her I was the bad guy and that I was causing harm, stealing, blah blah. Older sisters emergency guardianship was overturned in court yesterday by a very stern judge who quickly saw through the BS. (Plus I provided the court text messages that both of their entire affidavits were based on lies).
Judge granted me guardianship of the person and granted older sister guardianship of her estate. This is common practice as they do not want people stealing elderly and moving them out of state, stealing their assets. However I can move my mother to Florida now, as she has begged the court and begged me since right after my father passed in February. After 90 days if all is well, the estate is turned back over to us.
I throughout all of it I kept having this vision of sitting with my mom on the boardwalk of the beach by my house and watching the sun come up. In my vision I see myself turning to her and saying “well, mom, we did it.” I kept telling her throughout all of this that it’s going to be okay, we are going to win this. Her attorney ad litem kept telling me the judge is NEVER going to let her go to Florida.
Thats not the way things work apparently. The court was held yesterday in the 200 year old courtroom in a small Texas town square courthouse (no metal detectors, judge wore a cowboy hat) it was RAGING storming, judge just wanted for mom to be happy and be safe and keep her assets safe. After a trial period her estate will be released back to me. LOL judge said, “Everyone will get along and treat each other with respect. EVERYONE. Or we will have another hearing and it will not be fun for you.” Basically, the judge told my abusive older sister that she’s not allowed to abuse me anymore or else.
I so very much appreciate the laws associated with this whole process. Without them people like my younger sister could just strong arm everyone away from the scene, keep mom’s assets and keep neglecting her. Adversely, if I were a person of the quality of my younger sister and lived out of state, I could “steal” my mother with dementia and her assets and take her across state lines making it a very large, very expensive task to recover it all. I appreciate the laws for that reason as well, that could have been a possibility for younger sister if she was feeling flighty. So all in all it was a win. More work involved with of course certificates and bonds required, but mom gets what she wants.
In a few weeks she will be watching sunrises over the Atlantic and petting chihuahuas and gardening with me, making bread. Thank God for that judge. She was to the point she was refusing help from anyone but me. I can’t imagine how things would be for her if the outcome had been any different. Probably assisted living/borderline nursing care. God is good!!!

Me and my boyfriend have been together a year and a half now and recently I found out he has a friend on facebook (who he has never met in person and started speaking to them a little less then a month before me and my boyfriend met and became a couple), he says mainly they are friends because she has ADHD and Autism and my boyfriend is in the process of being diagnosed with ADHD too, which is fine the problem I have is that Iv seen recently because my boyfriend has shown me and also told me that he tells her a few things about our relationship ( mainly when i may have done something he doesn’t like, or is frustrated by) and she has replied back saying im toxic and a red flag.
I decided to get in contact with his friend just to clear things up and hopefully make her see that im not that way, this just lead to her saying more needed to be done on my part to understand my boyfriend and his needs and that I didn’t know much when it came to ADHD ( i spent 2 years in a school working with SEN children and had training on ADHD and Autism), this conversation annoyed me but i didn’t want to think too much into it.
Now onto this week, she messaged me asking if everything was alright between me and my boyfriend, i was nice and let her know a couple of things but not everything because it’s not her business, she then decides to accuse me of looking through my boyfriend’s phone constantly, which i have never, this is where i did go to my boyfriend last night and voiced my opinions on this and that i felt very hurt by all these things she is saying. I then received an apology message from her saying thats how she can be sometimes and meant nothing by it. However during this conversation my boyfriend also mentioned that on a couple of occasions his friend has told him that he should break up with me because im no good for him and his mental health, this is what hurt me most even though he has stated to her that he will not being doing that because overall our relationship is great.
Since last night, Ive have been fine with my boyfriend but I can’t understand why he would still be friends with someone like this and continue to let them drive a wedge into mine and his relationship.
What should I do, i dont want to end things with him because apart from this we do truly make each other happy and we have made so many great memories together, im just very confused right now.