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Celebrating a 75th birthday is a remarkable milestone, and finding the perfect gift can be quite a challenge. Fret not! In this article, we have curated a collection of 75th birthday gifts that are sure to impress and make this special occasion even more memorable. From heartfelt keepsakes to fun and practical items, our handpicked selection covers a variety of tastes and preferences.
So whether you're looking for the ideal gift for a loved one or a special someone, our 75th birthday gift guide will help simplify your search and ensure a birthday filled with joy and celebration.

The Top 10 Best 75th Birthday Gifts

1. 75th Birthday Gemstone Bracelet and Sentimental Message Card - Evolved from the timeless beauty of dark blue stones, this elegant 75th birthday bracelet symbolizes wisdom, power, and love, making it the perfect meaningful gift for women turning 75.
2. The First 75 Years of Childhood Are Always the Hardest - 75th Birthday Journal for Laughs and Memories - Celebrate 75 and laugh along the way with this hilarious journal, perfect for recording memories, tracking special dates, and a fun twist on a birthday card.
3. 75th Birthday Crystal Diamond Keepsake - Unforgettable 75th Birthday Gifts: Heart Crystal Diamond Keepsake with Personalized Engraving and Dazzling Ornament for Mums and Grandmothers
4. Katie Doodle 75th Birthday Card: An Unforgettable Gift for Women or Men - Katie Doodle's 75th Birthday Card adds a chic and personalized touch to your gift-giving experience, making it a perfect choice for 75th birthday celebrations for both women and men.
5. Fun and Practical 75th Birthday Gift: A Notebook for Memories and Events - Unforgettable Gift for Every Occasion: The Matte Cover 6"x9" Notebook
6. Celebrate 75 Years with a Laugh - Celebrate your loved one's 75th milestone with this hilarious and heartfelt gift book, featuring 110 pages of handwritten humor, wisdom, and memories perfect for any occasion.
7. 75th Birthday Gift Blanket - Celebrate a meaningful milestone with this cozy & elegant 75th Birthday Gifts for Women Blanket, perfect for hugging your mom, wife, or grandma on their special day.
8. 75th Birthday Gifts: Interview Autobiography Book - Capture lifelong memories with a personalized 75th birthday auto-biography, featuring prompts and questions to record your loved one's life and celebrate their milestone in style!
9. Beautiful 75th Birthday Pillowcase for Women - Enhance your space with our 75th birthday decoration, the imitation linen 18" x 18" pillowcase, perfect for gifting and elevating any setting.
10. Purple and Pink 75th Birthday Sign - Exclusive Women's Decor - Katie Doodle's 75th Birthday Decorations Women sign offers a heartfelt and personalized touch perfect for celebrating a milestone birthday!

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Reviews

🔗75th Birthday Gemstone Bracelet and Sentimental Message Card

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Celebrating a milestone 75th birthday deserves the perfect gift, and that's exactly what you'll find with Olgas Gems' beautiful and sentimental birthday bracelet. Handcrafted using high-quality stones that emit a sense of wisdom and power, this bracelet is designed to be comfortable and adjustable to fit most women's wrists. The addition of a small heart charm signifies the love and support that surrounds the birthday milestone celebrant. While the bracelet's natural color variations add a unique touch to its overall appeal, the true gem of this accessory is the heartfelt message card included, making it a perfect gift for your mom, wife, or best friend.
One of my favorite aspects of this bracelet is its versatility - both in adjusting to the wearer's wrist size and in matching a variety of outfits. The deep blue stones and silver heart charm combination create an elegant, timeless look that effortlessly complements both day and evening attire. I also appreciate the quality craftsmanship put into each bracelet, as it ensures that the piece remains durable and intact through daily wear, as well as frequent birthday celebrations.
In terms of cons, I noticed the bracelet's string can occasionally cause slight discomfort if worn tightly. However, this can be easily rectified by adjusting the bracelet's position on the wrist. Additionally, since the stones are naturally occurring, there may be slight color variations throughout the bracelet. But for me, this only adds to the piece's charm and uniqueness.
Overall, Olgas Gems' 75th Birthday Milestone Bracelet is a wonderful jewelry option for anyone looking to commemorate a special birthday. Its timeless elegance, heartfelt message, and adjustability make it a thoughtful and cherished gift.

🔗The First 75 Years of Childhood Are Always the Hardest - 75th Birthday Journal for Laughs and Memories

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I recently got my hands on "The First 75 Years of Childhood Are Always the Hardest" for my dad's 75th birthday. This quirky notebook has been an absolute hit! It's not just about the humor, but the nostalgia it brings. I used it as a unique way to celebrate his milestone, filling it with memories and inside jokes. The softcover and lined pages made it easy to write in, even for his slightly shaky hands.
What I really appreciated was the flexibility of usage. While it started as a birthday present, it soon turned into a daily companion for my dad. From noting down important dates to ticking off his bucket list, this little book has seen a lot of action. The size is perfect too, fitting right into his back pocket without causing any bulge.
However, I did find the cover slightly flimsy. It's not a deal-breaker, but I do wish it were sturdier to withstand frequent use.
All in all, this product has made my dad's birthday extra special. If you're looking for a unique gift for someone turning 75, look no further.

🔗75th Birthday Crystal Diamond Keepsake

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I recently came across the most mesmerizing 75th birthday gift for the woman in my life - a heart-shaped K9 crystal diamond encrusted with the words "Happy 75th birthday and Fabulous. " I have to say, it's really hard to resist its charm due to its unique design and the heartfelt message it carries. I chose it as a birthday present for my grandmother, and let me tell you, her reaction was priceless. The intricate detailing on the diamond, and the beautiful crown and heart patterns make it look incredibly luxurious.
The gold paint is not only stylish, but it also ensures that the engraving is durable and won't fade away easily. The size is perfect for placing on a dresser or table, and the clarity of the crystal is simply breathtaking. Every time the light hits it, it sparkles like a thousand stars.
What I love the most about this gift is that it's not just a decoration; it's a keepsake that will remind her of her fabulous 75th birthday every time she looks at it. To be honest, I feel incredibly satisfied with my purchase and I would highly recommend it to anyone looking for a unique and heartfelt gift for their loved ones.

🔗Katie Doodle 75th Birthday Card: An Unforgettable Gift for Women or Men

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I recently purchased the "Katie Doodle 75th Birthday Card" as a thoughtful and unique gift for my grandpa's 75th birthday. The card was the perfect size, measuring 5x7 inches, making it ideal as a table centerpiece or for 75th birthday decorations. However, what truly sets this birthday card apart is its heartfelt design tailored specifically for such a momentous occasion.
One aspect that stood out to me was the large folded 75th birthday card that comes with the purchase. It's not your run-of-the-mill greeting card - it's stylish and unique, just like my grandpa. The kraft envelope is also a nice touch, offering an eco-friendly option without sacrificing style.
Another highlight is how versatile this card can be. Not only does it make a great centerpiece for a 75th birthday party, but it's also the perfect size for other decorations or as a thoughtful addition to birthday gifts for both women and men aged 75 years old.
However, I will say that the card's large size may not be suitable for everyone's taste. Some recipients might prefer smaller or more traditional cards. Additionally, although the kraft envelope is an environmentally friendly option, it might not suit everyone's aesthetic preferences.
All in all, I would definitely recommend this 75th birthday card from Katie Doodle to anyone looking for a thoughtful and unique gift for their loved one's special day. Its large size and trendy design make it perfect for various uses, whether as a centerpiece, decoration, or added touch to birthday gifts.

🔗Fun and Practical 75th Birthday Gift: A Notebook for Memories and Events

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When it comes to creative, thoughtful gifts, I've always found that practicality often goes a long way. That's why when I was looking for something special for my grandma's 75th birthday, I decided to opt for a notebook as a unique twist on the traditional card.
The notebook itself was just the right size - it fit perfectly in her purse, allowing her to jot down her thoughts and memories wherever she went. The lined paper was durable and easy to write on, making it perfect for everything from meeting notes to doodling.
However, one minor drawback was the cover. While it was matte, I wish it had some kind of personalized touch to make it feel extra special for such a milestone birthday. But overall, this practical alternative to a card made for a memorable and useful gift that my grandma absolutely loved!

🔗Celebrate 75 Years with a Laugh

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Oh, what a joy it was to celebrate my parents' 75th birthdays this year! I gifted them the 75 Years Old Gifts book from Birthday Gifts Publishing, and boy, did it bring a big smile to their faces. This 110-page paperback is not just a unique idea, but it's also practical, fun, and classy.
I remember my dad chuckling as he flipped through the pages, filled with funny anecdotes and words of wisdom. The size, 6 x 9 inches, is perfect for carrying around or placing on a coffee table for guests to enjoy.
The sturdy paperback binding feels like it will last a lifetime, just like my parents. One downside, though, was the lack of a hardcover, which would have made it even more special.
In summary, the 75 Years Old Gifts book is a thoughtful and memorable gift for anyone turning 75. Its combination of humor, practicality, and quality makes it a perfect addition to their collection of belongings.

🔗75th Birthday Gift Blanket

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As the 75th birthday of my dear mother approached, I knew I needed to find something special to commemorate this milestone. That's when I came across this cozy and soft 75th birthday gift blanket for women.
The moment she unwrapped it, her eyes lit up with joy and surprise. This simple yet elegant design allowed me to express what I truly wanted to say - that I've witnessed her journey through life, and I'm forever grateful for her love.
Made from premium flannel fleece, the blanket is quite durable, much like my love for her. Its lightweight nature makes it perfect for curling up on the couch during chilly nights or even using it as a travel companion on camping trips.
Every time she wraps herself in this blanket, she's reminded of the bond we share, making it a gift that truly comes from the heart. Not just another Christmas present, but an emotional hug that lasts year-round.

🔗75th Birthday Gifts: Interview Autobiography Book

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I was thrilled to use this interactive 75th birthday autobiography for my Grandpa's party. The colorful, party-themed interior with gold lettering immediately caught everyone's attention.
This clever keepsake is filled with thought-provoking prompts and questions, which allowed us to delve into Grandpa's cherished memories and accomplishments. Plus, the celebration memory page and guest registry added a personal touch to the celebration. But the best part? .
Recording Grandpa's life story in a quick and fun manner! . This birthday gift received many compliments and left everyone with a memorable experience.

🔗Beautiful 75th Birthday Pillowcase for Women

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I recently got my hands on the DEBLETEOMH 75th Birthday Pillowcase for my mom's special day, and I must say, it was quite the hit. The first thing that caught my eye was the vibrant colors and unique design on both sides of the pillowcase. Made from high-quality polyester, it's not only stylish but also durable and easy to maintain. One of the standout features is the hidden zipper design, which not only gives it a more sophisticated look but also makes removing the pillow insert a breeze.
As for the comfort level, this pillowcase doesn't disappoint. Its 18" x 18" size fits perfectly on standard pillow forms, which I already had at home. The material is soft and breathable, making it perfect for those hot summer nights. Plus, the pillowcase is suitable for various occasions, from anniversaries to holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving.
However, one thing to keep in mind is that the pillowcase doesn't come with a pillow insert, so you'll need to purchase one separately. Additionally, while the design is beautiful, it might not be everyone's taste. But overall, the DEBLETEOMH 75th Birthday Pillowcase is a thoughtful and practical gift that's sure to delight the recipient.

🔗Purple and Pink 75th Birthday Sign - Exclusive Women's Decor

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I decided to surprise my mom on her 75th birthday with something unique and special. I came across this super cute pink and purple back-in sign by Katie Doodle. The moment I saw it, I knew it was perfect for her birthday party decor! The design was so thoughtfully made, highlighting popular events, movies, and music from the year she was born.
Now, let's talk about the quality. This unframed sign is printed on premium 8x10 inch cardstock and it's made right here in the USA! Oh, and did I mention how easy it was to find a frame for it? It fits perfectly in any 8x10 inch frame, becoming the conversation piece of the party.
However, there was one setback - copyright issues. As much as I loved the design, I couldn't make copies or alter it in any way for my own use. But overall, this sign turned out to be a big hit at the party and made my mom's 75th birthday an unforgettable one. "
To summarize, the Katie Doodle 75th Birthday Decorations women is a perfect gift for women celebrating their 75th birthday. The vibrant pink and purple color scheme, along with the nostalgic touch, make it stand out. However, do keep in mind the strict copyright restrictions. Despite these limitations, it's worth considering as a unique gift or party decoration.

Buyer's Guide

Investing in a meaningful and special gift for someone's 75th birthday marks a significant milestone. As we ponder on what to give for such a special occasion, it's essential to consider the person's interests, needs, and preferences. Therefore, your choice should ideally reflect the individuality and significance of this birthday. Here are some considerations and features to keep in mind while buying a 75th birthday gift.

Personalization

Personalized gifts become unique expressions of the relationship between the giver and the receiver. By imprinting the recipient's name or a special message onto the gift, you can make it more sentimental and memorable.
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Usefulness

While aesthetics are important, it's also crucial to consider whether the gift is functional and useful for the recipient. This is especially important if the receiver has limited physical abilities due to age or health conditions.

Health and Wellness

At 75, physical comfort and health tend to become more crucial. Therefore, consider gifts that cater to health and wellness, such as comfortable footwear, therapeutic massagers, or warm blankets.

Hobbies and Interests

Whether they enjoy gardening, reading, painting, or cooking, choosing a gift that aligns with their interests will show that you have paid attention to what they like and enjoy.
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Memory Lane

In the course of a lifetime, many memories are made. Gifts that evoke nostalgia, recall fond memories, or prompt the sharing of stories can be treasures for the recipient and bring immense joy.

Technology

Seniors have been known to appreciate some forms of technology that make their daily lives easier. E-readers, large-screen smartphones or tablets for video calls or games, or health-monitoring devices are thoughtful gift options.

Sentimental Value

Beyond functional aspects, consider gifts that carry sentimental value. These could be framed photographs, handcrafted items, or items reflecting cultural heritage or shared memories.
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Comfort and Convenience

For the elderly, comfort and convenience are essential. Gifts that promote these aspects, such as comfortable lounge wear, ergonomic furniture, or assistance devices, can make excellent choices.
Always remember, the ideal gift for a 75th birthday is one that is tailored to the specific needs, tastes, and interests of the recipient, showing your care and thoughtfulness.

Important Features

• Personalization
• Usefulness
• Health and Wellness
• Hobbies and Interests
• Memory Lane
• Technology
• Sentimental Value
• Comfort and Convenience

General Advice

In your quest for the perfect 75th birthday gift, ensure that you keep note of the recipient's preferences, health conditions, and lifestyle. If you encounter any uncertainties, do not hesitate to ask close family or friends for guidance. The gift will be cherished more if it correctly reflects the personality, needs, and expectations of the celebrant.
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FAQ

What would be an ideal gift for someone's 75th birthday?

An ideal gift for a 75th birthday would be something that represents the life and loves of the person being celebrated. This could be a customized photo album or a frame filled with memories, a hobby-specific item, or even a personalized cake with a favorite flavor and image.

Are there any traditional gifts given on a 75th birthday?

Yes, traditionally, the 75th birthday is known as the Diamond Anniversary. Gifts made of or featuring diamonds are seen as ideal, symbolizing strength and endurance, much like the life of the recipient.

What are some unique gift ideas for a 75th birthday?

• A personalized birthday cake featuring the recipient's favorite flavors and designs.
• A commemorative plaque or wall hanging etched with the recipient's name or a special message.
• An experience or adventure, such as a hot air balloon ride or a guided trip to a historical site.

How can I find out the recipient's interests for a tailor-made gift?

It's best to ask the recipient's close friends or family members about their interests, hobbies, or preferences. Alternatively, you could subtly observe what they enjoy doing or discussing when you're together, or browse through their social media profiles.

Is it appropriate to give a 75th birthday gift that's more sentimental than practical?

Yes, absolutely. At this age, a meaningful or sentimental gift may be much more appreciated than a generic or practical one.

How should I present the 75th birthday gift?

The presentation of the gift can be just as important as the gift itself. Wrap the gift in a special way, possibly including a personalized card, and if it's a small gathering, consider waiting until the end of the celebration to give the gift, offering the recipient a moment to fully appreciate it.
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I've updated the original Somnophilia List and shared a doc with tags, CWs, types of somno, and GR links.
Thank you to everyone who added books in the last post! ❤️
If you know of any other somnophilia books, feel free to add them below. (The post has a search feature you can put the author's name to see if it's already listed here.)
I tried to mark each book with the type of somnophilia (noncon, dubcon, consensual, drugged, etc) but there are some missing, let me know if you want to add more details.
Here's the complete list if you don't want to bother with the doc:

Somnophilia Books

Fade to Black by Jasper Blew CNC, trans MC, pre-planned consensual drugged somnophilia, best friends-to-lovers, dubcon, noncon, erotica novella SW
Sweet Baby Boy by Simon Strange ex-step-fathestep-son, camping, erotica novella, somnophilia
Playing Pretend by Simon Strange stepbrothers, erotica novella, somnophilia
Cheaters by Simon Strange (somnophilia flashback), stepbrothers, cheating (not on each other), erotica novella
Daddy's Other Boy by Simon Strange MMM, humiliation, married couple adds a third, cock cage, crying, consensual cuckolding, somnophilia, full-length book
Misbehaved by Simon Strange age-gap, daddy kink, age-play, bratty boy, hurt/comfort, spanking, enemies-to-lovers, professostudent, somnophilia, full-length book
Finder's Keepers by Simon Strange D/s, spanking, somnophilia, erotica novella
Daddy's Little Helper by TM Chris fatheson incest, practically all somnophilia, short book SW
Apple Pie by West Greene friends-to-lovers, military/bartender pairing, size difference, brief somnophilia scene, 27 pages, erotica novella, perma-freebie
The Good Liar by CP Harris step-brothers/pseudo-incest, somnophilia, cheating, rough sex, possessive, full-length book
Bad Wrong Things by CP Harris Age-gap, motorcycle, rough sex, injuries, blood, possessive, toxic, somnophilia, bareback, CNC, full-length book
Quillon's Covert by Joseph Lance Tonlet fatheson incest, small somnophilia scene, full-length book, atypical relationship and ending SW
Rend (Riven 2) by Roan Parrish face-fucking, somnophilia, angst, depression, sunshine top/grumpy bottom, foster care, self-doubt, trauma, hallucinations, hurt/comfort, marriage in crisis, possessive/obsessive, full-length book
Dear Daddy, Please Praise Me (Naughty or Nice #5) by Luna David, Amy Bellows daddy kink, praise kink, lace and lingerie, holiday book, consensual somnophilia, full-length book
Pretty Wreck (Pretty Broken 3) by JR Gray in-depth somnophilia conversations and planned somnophilia, rock stars, alcohol and drug use, full-length book, toxic abusive gaslighting ex
Truck Me (The Men of Bear Springs 4) by BJ Blakely pure PWP, age gap (20 years), truckers, college student, daddy kink, D/s, exhibitionism, jerking off in someone's truck and leaving a mess behind, voyeurism, threesome, rough sex, bratty boy, public sex, somnophilia, full-length book
Maahes (Malicious Gods: Egypt Series) by Emma Jaye dark romance, dark romance, graphic violence, murder, kidnapping, dubcon, Bulgarian MC, "Egyptian mythology", cults, brainwashing, death of a dog, torture, human-trafficking, murders, obsession, mentions of noncon and incest, somnophilia, check CWs, full-length book
Hostile Takeover (The Game 8) by Cara Dee uncle/nephew (by marriage) pseudo-incest, D/s, DDlb, age gap, submissive Daddy, younger Dom/older sub, shared sex scenes, somnophilia, full-length book
Happy Pride (Pride Pet Play 2023 series) by RA Frick trans sub, D/s, primal play, pet play, somnophilia, full-length book
Never Have I Ever: Submitted to My Enemy (Never Have I Ever 2) by Willow Dixon frenemies-to-lovers, hookups-to-lovers, college, so much consent, positive ADHD rep, CNC, somnophilia, found family, forced proximity, sensory deprivation, bondage, edging, phone sex, hook-up via app, kink-exploration, full-length book
Dark Possession (The Miner's Reluctant Wife 1) by Amelita Rae prison, feminization, noncon, humiliation, watersports, public rape, off-page cannibalism, violence, submission, check CWs, erotica novella
Sweetboy by Amelita Rae prison setting, age-gap (20 years), somnophilia, erotica novella, check CWs
Consequences of Crying by Abigail Kade dark romance, retelling of The Boy Who Cried Wolf, vampire/incubus pairing, soulmates, reincarnation, somnophilia, erotica novella
Stepbrother Next Door (Meadowfall Professors 3) by Anna Wineheart omegaverse, mpreg, stepbrothepseudo-incest, spanking, DP, exhibitionism, sex toys, age-gap, professostudent pairing, full-length book, CW self-harm, pregnancy complications, discussion of miscarriage, somnophilia (1 scene, consensual)
Dad's Omega Best Friend (Meadowfall Professors 2) by Anna Wineheart omegaverse, mpreg, age-gap, professostudent, younger alpha/older omega, somnophilia (1 scene, consensual), banana dick boat
Two Daddies for the Single-Dad Omega (Daddies for Dumpster Omegas 3) by Anna Wineheart MMM, omegaverse, mpreg, somnophilia (1.5 scenes, consensual)
Forced by the Alpha Prisoner by Anna Wineheart cover-to-cover noncon, erotica novella, noncon scientific experiments, forced ruts, payback, zucchini insertion, food play, public sex, carrying while impaled, somnophilia (1 scene, noncon) SW
Forced by the Alien Monster by Anna Wineheart alien reptile, kidnapping, erotica novella, cover-to-cover noncon, somnophilia (1-2 scenes), noncon somnophilia undertones throughout SW
Monster-Forced: The Monster's Forced Breeding by Anna Wineheart erotica novella, cover-to-cover noncon, forced breeding, pubic sex, cockwarming, somnophilia (several scenes throughout, noncon), dark Beauty and the Beast retelling, mpreg, breeding kink SW
Monster Bait by Anna Wineheart erotica novella, noncon, forced pleasure, forced breeding, somnophilia (2 scenes, noncon) SW
Top Priority (The Game 1) by Cara Dee novella, perma-freebie, somnophilia, military, one-night stand, insta-lust
Their Boy (The Game 2) by Cara Dee MMM, DDlb, two daddy Doms/one Little, sadist Daddy, brat, somnophilia, full-length book
Doll Parts (The Game 4) by Cara Dee MMMM, DDlb, stepdad,.BDSM, somnophilia, full-length book
We Have Till Monday by Cara Dee MMM, daddy switch, DDlb, age-play, age-gap, Nashville/NYC setting, chef, musician/music instructor, somnophilia, race car bed, full-length book
Out by Cara Dee age-gap, dirty talk, praise kink, somnophilia discussions and planning, full-length book
Out for the Holidays by Cara Dee 150-page sequel to *Out*, played out somnophilia scene planned from the previous book
Taken in His Sleep (Deeper Space #1) by Adri Armstrong often free on SW, somnophilia, itsy bitsy erotica
Marrow by Trisha Wolfe, Brynne Weaver forensic anthropologist serial killewildlife biologist serial killer pairing, intentional self-drugging for somnophilia and CNC, check CWs
Teach Me to Sin (Water, Air, Earth, Fire #4) by Riley Nash MMM, double age-gap, enemies-to-lovers, forced proximity, somnophilia
Drawn Together by ZA Maxfield Cajun MC/Japanese manga artist pairing, anime con, road trip, running from a stalker, noncon somnophilia (passed out drunk) CWs: past mention of animal abuse, torture, multiple murders, kidnap, mutilation.
Sleepwalkers (Garden of Fiends #2) by Daniel May estranged vampire mates, grumpy/grumpy pairing, lover-to-enemies-to-lovers, 100 years apart, on the run in catacombs, forced proximity, hate sex, second chance, PNR with some horror, blood, dubcon, somnophilia.
Off Limits by Daniel May bro-cest, dubcon, noncon somnophilia, accidental aphrodisiacs, erotica novella SW
Mastery (Sex Wizards #2) by Alethea Faust part of a series/best read in order, poly, kink-based magic system, hard BDSM, 24/7 D/s, magic school, consensual drugged somnophilia, long list of kinks, check CWs
Ride Me (Dress Me #2) by KD Ellis MMM, poly, stalker Daddy/biker Daddy/pretty Boy, switching, doll play, consensual somnophilia
Under His... Shorts by Adara Wolf collection of short stories, *New Year's Eve** short has noncon somnophilia*
Sleep Tight Little Bro by Becca Vale bro-cest, dubcon somnophilia, erotica novella SW
Good Boy (Vanilla Baby Trilogy #2) by Jett Masterson omegaverse, sugar daddy, age-gap, billionaire/college student pairing, BDSM, praise kink, consensual somnophilia
Unsuitable Omega by Jamie Kessel trans alpha/trans omega pairing, omegaverse, domestic discipline, consensual somnophilia
Precious by Roe Horvat omegaverse, forced proximity, trapped together during omega's heat, heat sex, fisting, womb sex, somnophilia (during a heat, omega is out of it)
Lost in a Moment (Trials of Fear #4) by Nicky James hurt/comfort, best friends-to-lovers, GFY, pets named after the Beatles, chronophobia (fear of the passage of time), clock collection, amputee, PTSD, hoarder, somnophilia à deux
Just the Tip (Extracurricular Activities 0.5#) by Neve Wilder dubcon, enemies-to-lovers, somnophilia, erotica novella
Corin and the Courtier (Beautiful Beasts #2) by Eliot Grayson omegaverse, dragon shifter, belly bulge, forced proximity, only one bed, 15-year age gap, size difference, somnophilia when MC faints from being knotted
A Dream of Daisies by Lemi Young omegaverse, fluff, mpreg, insta-love, size difference, somnophilia, cuddles, lots of flowers, novella
Sword and Sorcerer (Claw and Crown #2) by Richard Lunch viking fantasy, wolf-shifter, commoneprince, forced proximity, magical lube, breath play, bondage with magical plants, somnophilia
Igni Ferroque (Tennebrose #2) by Ashlyn Drewek necromancedemon pairing, enemies-to-lovers, noncon, torture, vers, flip-fucking, breath play, light somnophilia
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While the AEW World Title has been through some tumultuous, CM Punk-adjacent times, the company is striving to “restore the feeling” with one of the strongest rosters ever assembled in a wrestling promotion, while also maximizing the talents of once-underused stars like Swerve Strickland and Samoa Joe. In fact, that’s where we’re starting off - with the recently maniacal and now beloved Swerve taking on the unstoppable Samoa Joe for the AEW World Title in St. Louis.
Dynasty
However, we’ve got one thing to get out of the way first - and that’s earlier in the show. In the weeks leading up to Dynasty, Hangman Page said he’d do anything to stop Swerve Strickland leaving St. Louis with the title, leaving the main event in jeopardy of breaking down completely. While he seems to be considering asking for a No Disqualification match and trying his luck, Swerve thinks better of it, instead vowing to just… beat Page to the punch and jump his ass before the match. However, he’s stopped by Tony Khan, who says that he can’t let Swerve go and get into backstage brawls in good conscience. After seeing Jack Perry return to help the Young Bucks win the AEW Tag Titles, he says that he’ll simply prevent interference from taking place by suspending anyone who tries something during the main event. Joe and Swerve are both fine with the terms, and we’re off to the races for a good, clean fight between two of AEW’s most violent and tactical competitors.
AEW World Title, Everyone Banned From Ringside: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Swerve Strickland
Prince Nana accompanies Swerve out for an entrance fit for a champion, but he heads to the back afterwards, no seconds allowed as Samoa Joe storms to the ring with a confident smirk on his face. Introductions are made, the bell is rung, and HERE WE GO! Joe immediately tries to goad Swerve into a lockup, daring the challenger to shoot his shot against a man twice his size, but Strickland plays it smart, hacking away at Joe’s legs from a distance with stiff kicks. Pretty quickly, Joe gets frustrated, finally catching a leg and clobbering Swerve with a forearm, backing him up into the corner for a series of jabs and chops before GOING STRAIGHT FOR A MUSCLE BUSTER! Swerve frantically fights free, Joe catching him with a short-arm lariat to hang him up on the top rope before starting to clamber up himself. However, Strickland’s got plans of his own, dropping to the apron and BULLDOGGING JOE’S FACE STRAIGHT INTO THE TURNBUCKLE! Joe drops down to the mat, Swerve leaping to the top rope for a SWERVE STOMP, JOE FALLING BACK AT THE LAST MOMENT TO SLIP BEHIND THE CHALLENGER AND LOCK IN A COQUINA CLUTCH! Immediately grabbing the top rope, Swerve’s eyes are bulging out of his head until four, Joe forced to release the hold as Swerve collapses into the turnbuckles and EATS A GAMENGIRI TO SEND HIM TO THE FLOOR! Joe bides his time, mocking the crowd’s deafening cries of “WHOSE HOUSE? SWERVE’S HOUSE!” before heading to the apron for a PK TO SWERVE’S CHEST, ONLY FOR SWERVE TO COUNTER INTO A DRAGON SCREW AND SEND JOE CRASHING TO THE FLOOR!
It’s clear in the early goings that this is going to be a chess match, but that won’t stop these two from going ham - whenever they spot an opening, they’ll do whatever it takes. Swerve keeps the pressure on by attempting a tornado DDT off the apron, but this time it’s Joe who gets to counter, wincing at the pain in his knee as he holds Swerve bolt upright for a VERTICAL SUPLEX ONTO THE FLOOR! Strickland sits up in agony, struggling to breathe from the pain as Taz points out it might have impacted a kidney, but Joe shows no mercy, following it with a GERMAN SUPLEX, NOW A TIGER SUPLEX, AND FINALLY A DRAGON SUPLEX TO LAY THE CHALLENGER OUT COMPLETELY! He rolls Swerve back in, lackadaisically covering for two before driving a few knees into the ribs of his grounded opponent. Joe continues to deal damage in the ring, focusing on the midsection with brutal stomps and round kicks, mixing in throws and slams to continuously wear down his foe. Eventually, he feels like he’s done enough to go for the Coquina Clutch again, struggling to flatten Swerve out, but the challenger is tenacious, protecting his neck and batting away Joe’s arms before trying to slide out from under the Samoan Submission Machine, Joe trying to trap him with his legs… BUT SWERVE TWEAKS JOE’S KNEE TO ESCAPE, AND NOW HE’S GOT HIS OPENING! AXE KICK TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD, AND NOW A JUMPING DDT! HE’S GOT JOE SET, THE CHAMPION COMING TO HIS KNEES… HOUSE CALL! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOO! JOE KICKS OUT!
Swerve gets right back on the attack, pummeling the leg before flattening Joe with a DDT as he tries to get to his knees. The champion’s in trouble, landing an elbow to Swerve’s body before staggering into the corner, but Swerve rushes him with a pump kick in the corner, followed by a series of brutal stomps to the head. He clambers up to the top rope, calling for a Swerve Stomp, but Joe makes him pay for going for broke early, slapping him across the ear to ring his bell before HITTING AN ENZIGURI! Strickland flops across the top turnbuckle, Joe lighting him up with punishing strikes before hoisting him out of the corner for a MUSCLE BUSTER, BUT THE LEG GIVES OUT! Swerve drops down… POISON RANA CONNECTS! ONE! TWO! THR-KICKOUT BY JOE! The challenger rushes to the corner, measuring his target for another HOUSE CALL, BUT JOE TURNS HIM INSIDE OUT WITH A LARIAT! He drives Swerve into the corner, roaring in his face before unleashing a series of punishing headbutts, hoisting Strickland to the top rope and pounding some feeling back into his leg before once again going for a MUSCLE BUSTER… AND HE GETS IT! ONE! TWO! THRE-SWERVE JUST MANAGES TO GET THE SHOULDER UP!
With Swerve having managed to get a shoulder up after a Muscle Buster, a furious Joe is on a warpath, hurling the challenger out to the floor and clobbering him with Muay Thai knees to the ribs and a vicious elbow strike on the jaw. Joe chops Swerve across the chest before uprooting the ring steps, setting them up near the barricade. He sits Strickland on them, winding up to run the length of ringside for a HUGE BOOT, BUT SWERVE KICKS OUT THE KNEE WITH A LOW DROPKICK, JOE SENT CAREENING HEAD-FIRST INTO THE STEEL! Swerve is gasping for air, struggling to recuperate and take advantage, but suddenly, he gets a gleam in his eye as he sees Joe raise his head, bloodied. He winds up… ANOTHER HOUSE CALL TO SEND JOE INTO A SEATED POSITION ON THE BOTTOM STEP! Scrambling to the ring apron, Strickland looks like a man possessed, the crowd rallying behind him as he taps into that sadistic side for a SWERVE STOMP AGAINST THE STEEL STEPS, THE CHAMPION SENT TUMBLING OVER THE BACK OF THEM AT A SICKENING ANGLE! The challenger works with all his might to muscle Joe up and roll him back into the ring, exhausted, but he still manages to scale the ropes. Joe’s on dream street in the middle of the ring, instinctively trying to get back to his feet, but HE’S CUT OFF WITH A SECOND SWERVE STOMP, DRIVING HIM STRAIGHT DOWN INTO THE CANVAS! ONE! TWO! THREE!
Swerve Strickland def. Samoa Joe (15:48) to win the AEW World Title
It was a sprint to cap off a long show, and as Joe looks up at the lights, it’s clear that Swerve’s grit and quick thinking is going to make him one hell of a champion. Prince Nana comes out to celebrate with him, the crowd electric as Swerve Strickland raises the AEW World Championship aloft to close out Dynasty. After the show, he’s congratulated by Tony Khan and much of the AEW locker room at the top of the ramp, including a begrudging handshake from Samoa Joe.
Road to Double or Nothing
With Swerve Strickland crowned champion, he’s kicking off Dynamite at Daily’s Place, getting to celebrate some more with Prince Nana and the AEW fans. He says he worked his ass off and did some crazy things to get his hands on this gold, and now the hard part begins - keeping it away from all those who want to see him dead and buried. On screen, Nick and Matt Jackson appear, the new AEW Tag Team Champions saying that they didn’t appreciate Swerve going over their heads to Tony Khan about his title match. As EVPs, they should be making the decisions, but they’ll sort that out with Tony, who “clearly has a bias towards Swerve, even congratulating him after the show.” Swerve brushes them off, certain he can face whatever odds the EVPs stack against him - after all, they’re still on something of a short leash in management. The Bucks warn him that he has a lot of enemies, and tell him that the Elite are a set of enemies he really doesn’t want to make. Strickland says he’s the champ; making enemies comes with the territory. The Bucks look disappointed, but shrug and turn off the feed before HANGMAN PAGE DECAPITATES SWERVE WITH A BUCKSHOT LARIAT! He brutalizes Swerve, even turning his attentions to Nana with a DEADEYE!
Later in the night, Tony Khan is attacked by the Elite, dying a tragic death and never being seen again on screen. Included in the attack is a reinstated Jack Perry, who’s welcomed into the Elite with open arms before Hangman Page hits the scene. The Bucks look alarmed, having suspended Page months ago, but as Page starts stomping the shit out of Tony Khan, they embrace him, gaining two new members in their ranks.
The next week sees Hangman explain his decision - he says that before Dynasty, he spoke to his wife. In October, Strickland broke into Page’s home, made his family feel unsafe, and Page promised to his wife that he’d make sure Swerve’s dreams never came true. That his behaviour wouldn’t be rewarded. However, Tony Khan stopped him from doing that at Dynasty; he made him lie to his wife, violate his word as Swerve violated his home… so he felt no remorse in doing what he did to Tony, a man who he gave everything to as a day one original of AEW. With the Bucks in charge, he’ll get to make good on his word, albeit a little late - at Double or Nothing, he’ll challenge Strickland for the gold. Swerve better enjoy the glory while he can, because in Vegas, it’ll literally be Double or Nothing; It’ll be a Three Stages of Hell Match, and Hangman will stop at nothing to bring Swerve to the Seventh Circle. Naturally, Strickland jumps Page to get his revenge for the week prior, a massive brawl sparking off and ending with the Elite standing tall.
The remainder of the Road to Double or Nothing sees the stipulations slowly unveiled for the title bout - Page chooses a straightforward singles match, having come the closest to beating Swerve in the past under that ruleset, while Strickland goes for a Steel Cage Match to try and keep the Elite out of the equation (and to rule out the Buckshot Lariat by not leaving enough room on the apron). Finally, should it go to a third fall, the Young Bucks use their EVP powers to make it an ambulance match, saying that if he somehow manages to beat Page once, he’ll still end up carted out of the MGM Grand a failure, just as Killshot should’ve been years ago from the Lucha Underground arena.
Swerve Strickland (c) vs. Hangman Page
Double or Nothing
Three Stages of Hell Match for the AEW World Title: Swerve Strickland (c) vs. Hangman Page
It’s a big fight feel for the main event of Double or Nothing, Anarchy in the Arena having gone the Elite’s way to put Hangman Page in the driver’s seat for this one. Page is out first to Ghost Riders in the Sky, tapping into the same energy that granted him victory against Jon Moxley a year prior. However, Swerve matches it by simply having the roof come off the MGM Grand Garden Arena the second he steps foot on the stage, the pinnacle of self-assuredness as he makes his way down to the ring. He’s been here before, he’s fought this kind of war, and now all he has to do is push Hangman just as far as he did in the past.
Fall One: Singles Match
There’s plenty of hate between these two, but they’re both aware of the fact that there’s at least one more grueling bout to go after this, so there’s a bit of a tentative start. Swerve offers a high hand for a lockup, Page slowly meeting him in the middle of the ring and immediately grabbing a fistful of Swerve’s hair to slam him backwards into the mat, mounting him with a flurry of punches. Strickland flips him over, firing back with shots of his own before rising to his feet, rushing for a running shooting star that Hangman avoids, rolling out of harm’s way to the floor. Strickland gives chase, Page fleeing back into the ring and rushing to the opposite apron as Swerve feigns entering, Hangman slingshotting himself with a BUCKSHOT LARIAT, BUT SWERVE FAKED HIM OUT, INTERCEPTING WITH A DROPKICK TO THE ARM! Page clutches the limb as Swerve lands a high knee to the jaw, following it with a swift DDT to bring Hangman to the mat for a PENTA-ESQUE ARM SNAPPER! It’s clear Swerve’s already set his target, gaining the advantage early by outsmarting the overly aggressive Page, and he keeps the pressure on by looking for a straight armbar, trying to prompt Hangman into giving up a fall quickly to ensure minimal damage is done. However, Page manages to lock his grip, stacking Swerve for two before winding up for a SOCCER KICK TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD, FORCING SWERVE TO RELEASE! He begins ruthlessly laying into Swerve with a flurry of stomps to the skull, brutally assaulting his opponent before the referee starts a disqualification count. Page relents at four, but the damage could well already be done, Strickland looking worse for wear as he struggles to his feet in the corner… AND EATS A RUNNING FACEWASH BOOT, THE CROWD ERUPTING INTO BOOS AS PAGE STANDS TALL!
Beginning to mug the champion with a devastating series of offensive maneuvers, Page is comfortably in the driver’s seat, intermittently giving Swerve a reprieve as he focuses on getting some feeling back into his arm. Soon enough, he looks to wrap things up with a Deadeye, giving Swerve an opening to reverse into a sunset flip, Page rolling straight through as Strickland kips up to NAIL A SUPERKICK TO A KNEELING PAGE! He seamlessly floats behind him, no wasted motion as he hoists Hangman up and over with a beautiful arcing BRIDGING GERMAN! ONE! TWO! THR-KICKOUT BY PAGE! Hangman rolls out to the apron to try and catch a breather, but Swerve’s a menace on the attack, flying at him with a forearm before kicking out the knee, nailing a Gamengiri to drop Page to the ground. Immediately, Swerve vaults over the ropes for an APRON PUMP KICK, BUT HANGMAN REVERSES WITH A DRAGON SCREW, JUST AS SWERVE DID TO JOE! Page grabs his arm in clear discomfort, but he can’t let this opportunity pass him by, lifting Swerve up for a DRIVING TACKLE INTO THE BARRICADE! He gets a hold on the back of Swerve’s head, smashing his face into the top of the barrier before going for a suplex gutbuster onto the guardrail, only for Strickland to reverse and drop into the front row. Hangman instinctively grabs at him, Swerve thumbing the eye and dragging him over for a DRAPING PILEDRIVER INTO THE FRONT ROW OF CHAIRS! The crowd clears out as Swerve muscles his opponent up, Page on dream street as he’s sent back between the ropes… ONE! TWO! THRE-KICKOUT BY PAGE!
It seems as though Hangman’s operating on pure spite to stay in this first fall, commentary questioning what it’ll take for Swerve to beat him not once, but twice if that wasn’t enough. Swerve sticks to the gameplan, stomping the arm before landing a few Kawada kicks to the face to work Page’s head over, hoping to fill his mind with cobwebs and keep him off his game as he lines up for a HOUSE CALL, ONLY FOR PAGE TO GRAB THE LEG! PAGE ROLLS STRAIGHT OVER AND BACK UP TO HIS FEET, TRAPPING SWERVE IN POSITION… DEADEYE! ONE! TWO! THR-SWERVE LIFTS THE SHOULDER! Hangman starts driving knees into the body and head of the grounded AEW Champion, taking the simple approach of pummeling him as much as possible ahead of a certain second fall before stepping out to the apron. Page calls for the Buckshot Lariat, wanting to make the most of its near-certain ability to end a match before the cage takes away his ability to connect with it, but Swerve takes his time getting to his feet. Page launches himself the second Swerve’s off his knees, but STRICKLAND COUNTERS, USING PAGE’S MOMENTUM AGAINST HIM AND NAILING A FLATLINER! He scrambles to roll over, transitioning into a DEADLIFT VERTICAL SUPLEX, BUT PAGE DROPS BEHIND ON ADRENALINE ALONE TO NAIL A BACKDROP DRIVER! Swerve is folded up like an accordion as Page falls through the ropes to the apron, urging Strickland to get up… BUCKSHOT LARIAT CONNECTS, BEHEADING THE CHAMPION! Page clutches his arm in agony, worried the impact might’ve been numbed by his subconscious self-preserving hesitation, but he immediately scrambles to hook both legs… ONE! TWO! THREE! HE GOT HIM!
Hangman Page def. Swerve Strickland (14:28) to win the first fall
Fall Two: Steel Cage Match
Page knows he should take advantage and capitalize immediately, but it’s clear his final furious surge of energy to pick up the first fall has now led to an adrenaline dump, leaving both men down and out on the canvas as the steel cage lowers around them. He’s still the first to his feet, Strickland barely stirring after the Buckshot as Page heaves him up and hurls him headlong into the chain link. Immediately using the structure to his advantage, Hangman grinds Swerve’s face against the steel, drawing blood quickly before swinging Strickland over his shoulder for a LAWN DART INTO THE CAGE, SWERVE TUMBLING DOWN THE GAP BETWEEN THE RING AND THE STEEL! Page admires his work, taking a bit of a breather to try and recover from the massive damage doled out to him in the first round, but he eventually drops down to join Swerve in the tight confines of their makeshift ringside equivalent. With no room to escape, Strickland is left prone to a series of brutal stomps, Page eventually reaching under the ring to pull out all manner of weapons: a chain, a cinderblock, a pane of glass, two chairs, and a special chair wrapped in barbed wire. Sliding the rest of them into the ring, he holds onto the cinderblock, placing it on the apron before lifting Swerve out of the abyss, looking to give him a taste of his own medicine from Full Gear. The crowd watches on in horror as a deranged Hangman gets Strickland up into a fireman’s carry… but SWERVE PUSHES OFF THE CAGE TO LAND BACK IN THE RING, NAILING A DROPSAULT TO SEND HANGMAN INTO THE STEEL!
The champion is showing signs of life now, and with Page trying to balance himself on the apron, he’s got the perfect opportunity for revenge, picking up the barbed wire chair and SMASHING IT INTO THE UPPER BACK OF HIS FOE! Pinpricks of blood give way to a great cascade of crimson down the spine of the Hangman, Swerve maniacally swinging for the fences with each shot on a trapped opponent. Finally, he winds up for one more horrific blow, Page’s face up against the chain link as Swerve charges with the chair… PAGE DUCKS AT THE LAST MOMENT, AVOIDING HIS HEAD BEING SANDWICHED BY MERE INCHES! The chair drops to the floor as Page fires back with a forearm, battling through the pain, but Strickland is merciless, connecting with a headbutt to rock the challenger before rushing him once more, only for HANGMAN TO SEAMLESSLY COUNTER INTO A DEATH VALLEY DRIVER ON THE CINDERBLOCK! Page scrambles to get Swerve back in the ring, but the champion has the wherewithal to drop back down between the cage and the ring, making extracting him virtually impossible for the beaten Hangman. Still, Page grits his teeth, and uses his one good arm to haul Swerve’s body up onto the apron and between the ropes, hooking the leg… ONE! TWO! THRE-NOOO!
Page can’t believe it, a fraction of a second away from a second AEW Title reign, and he’s clearly cracking from the emotional weight of it all. However, he has to keep the pressure on, setting up the two chairs near one of the corners before laying the pane of glass between them. He picks Swerve up for a powerbomb, LOOKING TO PUT HIM THROUGH THE GLASS, BUT SWERVE MANAGES TO DROP OFF HIS SHOULDERS AT THE LAST MOMENT! Strickland drops to the mat behind Page in a heap, Page letting out his frustration with a few petulant stomps before leaning over to pick Swerve back up… AND EATING METAL, SWERVE WRAPPING HIS FIST IN THE CHAIN AND DECKING PAGE IN THE MOUTH! HE STACKS A STUNNED HANGMAN UP… ONE! TWO! THRE-NOOO! Immediately, the champion transitions into a submission attempt, trying to use the chain to assist in locking in a crossface, but Page elbows his way free, pounding away at Swerve’s leg to try and get some space. He scrambles to his feet, realizing all too late that Swerve’s got the chain tangled around his neck - AND NOW SWERVE NAILS A SUPERKICK, PULLING HIM INTO THE STRIKE! Instead of attacking his opponent, Swerve leans over the ropes and laces the chain through the cage wall, grinning at his handiwork as Page lunges at him… ONLY FOR SWERVE TO PULL THE CHAIN, SLAMMING THE BACK OF HANGMAN’S HEAD INTO THE CAGE AND NEARLY SENDING HIM RIGHT OVER THE TOP ROPE! Hangman gasps for air as Strickland wrenches his body weight back, slowly lifting Page off of the ground… but his leg gives out, unable to support both men’s weight for too long. The challenger drops back to the canvas, but Swerve’s managed to use the cage to turn the tides as he catches his breath.
Still holding onto the chain for dear life, Swerve builds up some slack to try and smash Page in the midsection with it, but Page meets him with a boot before removing the chain, averting disaster before connecting with a FALLAWAY SLAM, SENDING SWERVE ONTO THE BARBED WIRE CHAIR! ONE! TWO! THRE-ANOTHER KICKOUT! Strickland is bleeding heavily from his back now too, blood and flesh left strewn about the ring as Page goes for broke. Setting Swerve up on the top rope, he clambers up as well, the crowd rising to their feet as the two crimson-coated gladiators slug it out… AND HANGMAN GETS SWERVE UP FOR A DEADEYE! HE’S TRYING FOR AN AVALANCHE DEADEYE INTO THE GLASS… BUT STRICKLAND GRABS THE CAGE, PULLING HIMSELF BACK AND SENDING PAGE FLYING INTO AN ERUPTION OF CRYSTALLINE SHARDS! Hangman tries to rise up from the carnage on instinct, more glass digging into his skin as he attempts to stand, eventually collapsing once more as Strickland looks down. The ambulance is already parked on the ramp in case this goes to a third fall - if he deals enough damage right now, he could win two straight falls in the span of a minute. Knowing that going full send is the best course of action to maybe wrap this one up, he scales even higher, reaching the top of the cage as Las Vegas erupts… SWERVE STOMP FROM THE TOP OF THE DAMN CAGE, CRUSHING HANGMAN RIGHT BACK DOWN INTO THE SHATTERED GLASS! SWERVE GRABS HIS BAD LEG IN AGONY, BUT IT CAN’T STOP HIM FROM DRAPING HIMSELF OVER A LIFELESS HANGMAN… ONE! TWO! THREE!
Swerve Strickland def. Adam Page (16:10) to win the second fall
Fall Three: Ambulance Match
Swerve can’t stand after such a hellacious drop, still clutching his leg as he sits up in the pool of broken glass. Hangman’s completely unmoving, though, so he has to get a move on as the cage starts to rise for the third and final fall. He rolls under the ropes, flopping against the ambulance doors and heaving them open to pull out the gurney… BUT JACK PERRY’S INSIDE, THAT RAT BASTARD! Jack leaps out as the gurney tumbles to the floor, immediately looking to cinch in some sort of sleeper on Swerve, but Strickland bucks him off and SWINGS THE DOOR OPEN INTO HIS FACE! Perry is stunned for just long enough to give Swerve an opening, Strickland grabbing a fistful of broken glass and HAMMERING PERRY ON THE JAW! Real glass, cry me a river. With Perry incapacitated, Swerve drags Hangman under the ropes and onto the gurney, trying to load him into the ambulance before he has the chance to come to his senses. He pushes the gurney up into the vehicle, but before he can close the doors, Perry’s back up, swinging wildly to give Page a few extra seconds. Swerve fires back, filled with adrenaline as he NAILS PERRY WITH A POWERBOMB ONTO THE RAMP! Hoping to get rid of Perry permanently, Swerve heads around to the passenger’s side door, opening it up and undoing the seatbelt as the terrified driver curls up against the opposite side. He chucks Perry into the passenger’s seat, buckling him in before CHAINING THE SEATBELT TO THE DOORHANDLE, TRAPPING JACK IN PLACE! Perry hurls verbal abuse at the AEW Champion as Strickland looks to head around the back and close the doors on Hangman, but PAGE IS BACK UP, VAULTING OVER PERRY AND TACKLING SWERVE OUT THE PASSENGER’S SIDE DOOR!
Hangman’s got the advantage now, coated head to toe in his and Strickland’s blood as he rains forearms down with his good side. Picking Swerve up, he launches him headlong into the windshield, bringing the gurney around to try and strap the champion down. Swerve fights him off with a few punches, stumbling around the hood of the ambulance, but HANGMAN LAUNCHES HIMSELF FORWARD WITH A MODIFIED BUCKSHOT LARIAT, SLINGSHOTTING OVER THE GURNEY TO CONNECT ONCE MORE! He fights to pick Swerve up with one arm, the final Buckshot doing enough damage to negate his bad arm’s usefulness completely, but the champion keeps going on instinct with feeble elbows to the body. Page drags Swerve towards the gurney, trying to strap him in, but STRICKLAND WITH A WELL-PLACED KNEE TO THE JAW! He staggers away, not quite sure where he is as he finds himself perched against the hood of the ambulance, and now PAGE WITH A BOOT! Hangman clambers onto the hood of the ambulance, bringing Swerve with him as he looks for a POWERBOMB INTO THE WINDSHIELD, BUT STRICKLAND FLOATS OVER… AND PICKS PAGE UP FOR A BRAINBUSTER OFF THE HOOD OF THE AMBULANCE AND ONTO THE GURNEY! He can’t strap Page down, or even wheel the gurney to the back of the ambulance, as the gurney is destroyed on impact. He’s forced to drag Page on one good leg, heaving him around back and attempting to shove him into the vehicle… BUT PAGE WITH A CLUBBING LARIAT! He heaves Swerve up and falls out himself, closing one door… BUT SWERVE STOPS THE OTHER FROM CLOSING!
Swerve kicks the door open and jumps out with a crossbody, only for Page to reverse into a FALLAWAY SLAM INTO THE RING APRON! He tries to kip up as he usually does, but he’s too physically depleted to manage, instead rolling slowly up to his feet and dragging Swerve back to the ambulance. He grabs one of the chairs from the ring as Strickland attempts to stand, leaving great bloody handprints smeared across the ambulance doors as he does. Page winds up, an unsuspecting Swerve turning around as THE CHAIR IS SWUNG STRAIGHT INTO THE DOOR, STRICKLAND DROPPING AT THE LAST MOMENT! The impact reverberates through Page’s arm, Swerve kicking it before taking out the knee with a low dropkick… HOUSE CALL CONNECTS! COME ON, SWERVE! GET HIM IN THE AMBULANCE! He hoists Page up, the challenger vanishing into the shadows of the vehicle… BUT PAGE IS FIGHTING WITH ALL HIS MIGHT, STICKING HIS ARM OUT TO KEEP THE DOOR FROM CLOSING! He pushes his bad arm through the gap, trying to grab at Swerve’s face, desperately clawing to drag the champion into the ambulance as well, but SWERVE SLAMS THE DOOR ON THE BAD ARM! ONCE, TWICE, THRICE, OVER AND OVER AND OVER! PAGE REFUSES TO WITHDRAW THE ARM, SHEER HATRED DRIVING HIM AGAINST STRICKLAND! NOW HE USES HIS OTHER ARM TO FINALLY FORCE THE DOOR FURTHER AJAR, FIGHTING THROUGH THE GAP… STRICKLAND KICKS THE DOOR WITH ALL HIS MIGHT, SANDWICHING A BLOODY PAGE’S HEAD IN THE STEEL! HE’S OUT COLD, AND NOW SWERVE ROLLS THE LIMP BODY IN - AND CLOSES THE DOORS! SWERVE’S DONE IT!
Swerve Strickland def. Adam Page (9:57) to win the third fall
Swerve Strickland (2) def. Adam Page (1) (40:35) to retain the AEW World Title
Road to Forbidden Door
Despite Swerve managing to knock off Hangman Page at Double or Nothing, the Elite as a whole are flying high coming out of the event after beating Team AEW in Anarchy in the Arena. With a collaborative show on the horizon, the EVPs are essentially shit out of luck in trying to screw Swerve over at Forbidden Door, with a Forbidden Door Gauntlet deciding Swerve’s next PPV challenger. Dynamite sees all manner of NJPW and CMLL talent striving to get their crack at the gold, but in the end, Shingo Takagi definitively puts Hiroshi Tanahashi down to stake his claim to Swerve in New York.
We’re promised big time graps as Swerve Strickland’s set to defend the AEW World Title in New York against a man with plenty of experience as a champion in his own right, both in Japan and the United States: Shingo Takagi. Swerve talks about the respect he’s got for Shingo’s ability, and how much he’s looked forward to facing him, but also says he’s lent no quarter when he’s in the ring. Shingo may be bigger and stronger, he may be plenty accomplished, but Strickland’s not afraid to hurt him if he has to in order to walk away with the win - and Shingo promises the sentiment is mutual.
On route to their match, they have a one-upmanship contest teaming together against the House of Torture and Elite tandem of Ren Narita and Jack Perry. Swerve and Perry make a beeline for one another, Strickland’s rivalry with the Elite far from over, while Takagi pushes the pace against the Reiwa Musketeer with an absurd barrage of offence. Despite their internalized competition, Swerve and Shingo end up making a pretty good team, Takagi turning Narita inside out with a Pumping Bomber and a Last of the Dragon for three. Champion and challenger stand tall before standing off, Swerve confident in saying he’ll keep the title in AEW, just as has always been the case at Forbidden Door. Shingo seems plenty confident himself, though - he says before Tanahashi tried and failed on back to back shows to bring the AEW Title to New Japan, he fell to the Dragon at the Tokyo Dome. Takagi’s never had the chance to appear at Forbidden Door in a singles match, and he won’t be falling short now that the opportunity has presented itself.
Non-Title Match: Swerve Strickland vs. El Desperado
On the go-home show, Swerve faces off with El Desperado, because they had tag matches against each other at Forbidden Door 2022 and 2023, and they had insane chemistry. Despy puts in a good showing, but Strickland gets a decisive win with a JML Driver, looking strong heading into his second PPV title defence.
Swerve Strickland def. El Desperado (12:34)
Forbidden Door
AEW World Title: Swerve Strickland (c) vs. Shingo Takagi
With both men having gotten a feel for the other’s arsenal, this is a clinic, Shingo and Swerve trying to outpace and outhink each other before it eventually devolves into outright mayhem, Takagi swinging for the fences to try and dethrone Strickland. Swerve is forced to match him in pace, nailing a 450 Splash to put Shingo on the back foot before attempting a House Call, only for Shingo to avoid the leg, nabbing the arm for a STAY DREAM, STRAIGHT INTO A MADE IN JAPAN! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOO! Takagi clobbers Strickland with a series of forearms to back him into the ropes, rushing at him before Swerve slips behind, no wasted motion as he runs the ropes himself… STRAIGHT INTO A PUMPING BOMBER! SHINGO LIFTS HIM UP FOR THE LAST OF THE DRAGON, BUT SWERVE REVERSES, WRENCHING SHINGO UP INTO A TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER! Shingo’s rocked… HOUSE CALL CONNECTS! The crowd rallies behind Swerve as he hoists Takagi up into position, SEALING THE DEAL WITH A JML DRIVER! ONE! TWO! THREE! SWERVE STRICKLAND RETAINS THE AEW WORLD TITLE IN AN ABSOLUTE WAR, ENSURING THE GOLD STAYS IN HIS HOUSE!
Swerve Strickland def. Shingo Takagi (20:15) to retain the AEW World Title
Following the bout, Swerve and Shingo shake hands, Takagi congratulating him on a battle well fought, adding Strickland can be as vicious as anyone he’s ever seen when the situation calls for it. Strickland chuckles, slinging the title over his shoulder before WAIT A SECOND! THE YOUNG BUCKS ARE HERE WITH PAGE AND PERRY, BEATING DOWN SHINGO AND SWERVE! Hiromu Takahashi and Titan rush to the ring to try and help out their LIJ stablemate, but the Elite clean house, the EVPs sending a message to Strickland with a Buckshot and a Tony Khan Driver.
Road to All In London
It’s a long two months for Swerve to keep his title safe until AEW heads back to Wembley Stadium, but that’s not all that’s coming up - with the Elite laying waste to Swerve and Shingo after their bout at Forbidden Door, it seems as though Strickland will have to finally excise this thorn in his side. On Dynamite, he comes down to the ring ready to make a challenge, but the Elite beat him to the punch - last year, they won in Blood and Guts, and this year, they want to go two for two. The EVPs tell Strickland via satellite that they warned him about making enemies; now he’s got to find four partners. However, Swerve’s already got one, at least… Shingo Takagi, who doesn’t take much convincing to try and get his revenge, Swerve selling him on the idea by saying that he’s already taken out the Bucks before, so it should be light work to do it again.
The next few weeks see Strickland on a recruiting run for Blood and Guts, getting Bryan Danielson on side by bringing up his shortcomings at Anarchy in the Arena, as well as his inability to be cleared for the past two Blood and Guts matches. This is Bryan’s time to make right for the years of coming up short, and Danielson agrees to stand by his fellow Washington native. Following that, Swerve makes a gamble by trying to bring on Darby Allin. Strickland acknowledges their history, but says Darby has a chance to not only make up for Anarchy in the Arena, but in doing so, all he’s gotta do is something he’s already done - beat up the Young Bucks alongside Shingo Takagi. Darby tells Swerve he simply doesn’t trust him; he’ll be pulling for his team to beat the shit out of the Elite, but he won’t be fighting Swerve’s battles. Similarly, Swerve tries his luck with MJF, saying if he’s a real AEW diehard with a tattoo on his leg, he’ll join forces with him. However, MJF laughs the offer off, telling Strickland to pound sand because there’s no universe where he works a tag match again, rounding it off by saying he’ll be gunning for the AEW World Title by trying to win the Owen.
Desperate to round out his team, Swerve turns to PAC, throwing all the reasons possible at the wall to see what’ll stick - his history with Shingo making them a powerhouse team, his hatred for Okada and the Bucks. He says he trusts PAC to not walk away like he did last year, because this time, the fight will be about his cause, and not that of the BCC. PAC reluctantly accepts, but Strickland remains on edge, unsure of if PAC will stand by him when push comes to shove. Finally, Strickland is confronted by Brian Cage, who says he wants to be on the team. Swerve thanks him, but says he thinks they should go their separate ways, saying he respects Cage and the Gates of Agony, but doesn’t want them getting caught in the crossfire with the Elite. Having framed it as saving the Mogul Embassy the trouble, Swerve avoids a beatdown from Cage, but he’s still lacking a fifth man - leading to Nana suggesting his last partner be Will Ospreay, who he says is directionless after being betrayed by the Don Callis Family (who cost Will the match at Double or Nothing after he refused to use the Storm Driver 93). He’s got history with Okada that Swerve can exploit to get him on side, and even with Kenny Omega gone, he probably hates the Elite by association anyway. Swerve agrees with Nana, approaching Ospreay about joining and landing the tactical dagger to convince him - he tells Ospreay this is his chance to make up for failing the United Empire in a 5v5 cage match in February, which is enough to get Will on his side for a night.
The road to Blood and Guts also sees the EVPs booking Swerve in an onslaught of matches against varied members of the roster to try and wear him down. While Swerve manages to earn victories in each encounter, he’s still clearly in a pretty bad way after seven gruelling matches over the course of three weeks, setting the stage for a battered Swerve to try and lead his team to victory in the most brutal stipulation AEW has to offer. Finally, on the go-home show, the EVPs simply… give themselves the advantage in Blood and Guts, saying they “can’t clear” Swerve to compete in a match to decide who gets it. However, they say he’ll surely be good to go on Wednesday, putting his team far on the back foot before the show even begins.
Strickland, Danielson, Takagi, PAC and Ospreay vs. Okada, Page, Perry and The Bucks
(Cont'd in Comments)

Chapter Eight
A group of unwashed hippies stares up into the sky above Venice Beach as a shiny, pink ball of energy comes plunging down into the nearby ocean. They would be shocked and excited and filming things with their iPhones except for they’re hippies and don’t have iPhones because they are sticking it to the man. Also they’re not particularly surprised because weird shit falls from the sky over Venice Beach all the time, usually birds or maybe like errant roller skates or even a tofurkey or two, who knows? It IS Venice Beach after all. They were hoping for a tofurkey anyway because they have mad munchies and the shiny pink energy ball thing looks like a bad case of indigestion waiting to happen.
Inside the pink energy ball, which is actually a spaceship, Blush and Bryanbot are hugging each other in congratulations, glad they survived their unexpected crash landing. If they had died on impact, there would be no one left to stop Captain Fanny and Jenna from summoning The Supreme, and then all sorts of bad things would happen – worse things than even Whitney or Lisa could conceive. So, you know it’s BAD because the two of those game hosts were LITERALLY THE WORST.
Blush : We did it! We made it! We might just save the whole world yet and the souls of everyone in it!
Bryanbot : Well, we are on Venice Beach. I don’t know that we’ll be saving any souls tbh.
Blush : While you bring up a good point, our job is to keep things hopeful and positive.
Bryanbot : I’m sorry. Seawater got in my pantaloons during the crash landing and short circuited my eternal optimism drive.
Blush : WHAT???? I can’t keep this up for the both of us! Maybe if we landed in San Diego or somewhere, but not on Venice Beach!
Bryanbot : We’ll just have to figure out how to fix it before we attempt to locate Captain Fanny. Hey, there’s a pawn shop over there! I bet they have the necessary components to repair an android’s eternal optimism drive.
Blush : Yes! People are always pawning those components as they are both plentiful and lucrative! Like a celebrity’s old underpants!
Bryanbot : OK, let’s go in there. Then let’s SAVE THE WORLD.
*************************************
Back in the theater room of The Production House of Je Ne Sais Quoi, Captain Fanny is doing some yoga stretches to try and move Echo along through her digestive system. If you’ll remember, Captain Fanny swallowed Echo whole like a python, but Captain Fanny is not a python, she is an alien, and now she’s having a hell of a time trying to digest an entire person at once.
Captain Fanny : Ughhhhhh Tobias!!!
Tobias : Yes, My Distended Queen?
Captain Fanny : This is very uncomfortable!
Tobias : What can I do for you??? Shall I just cut a little hole in your stomach and pull her out?
Captain Fanny : No you fool! I’ll expel stomach acid all over the place and then Jenna will be irritated at the cleaning bill! Come over here and massage this model through my system.
Tobias runs down from the production room, nearly tripping over the long strings of his frayed denim shorts.
Captain Fanny : Wait!! Put the next movie on first!!
Tobias runs back up to the production room to queue up the next film.
Captain Fanny : Come back down here now!!!
Tobias runs back down from the production room, definitely tripping over the long strings of his frayed denim shorts. Cradling what is clearly a broken arm, he stumbles up to Fanny, who is lying face up on the floor, and reaches towards her bulging abdomen.
Captain Fanny : Wait! Don’t touch me! I swore a solemn oath that I would never allow a Nevernude to lay hands on me. Go get me a snack instead! Maybe if I eat more, the new food will push the old food down and the problem will solve itself.
Tobias : I don’t think that’s how it works…
Captain Fanny : I’m not paying you to think! I’m actually not paying you at all but whatever. NOW GET ME NACHOS AND START THE MOVIE!!!
*****************************************
The eight remaining models awaken yet again to strange surroundings. Perhaps expecting the beach for the third time in a row, they are shocked to discover themselves in a room full of mirrors this time, with barres placed throughout and gentle music playing over unseen speakers.
Dazed, the women stare around the room, taking stock of their new situation. There are a variety of doors and windows throughout the space, and a group of dancers is practicing what looks to be ballet in one of the corners. A woman with a riding crop calls out, “One, two, THREE, one, two, THREE,” as the dancers work through their exercises.
Sarin : This place is giving me the creeps you guys. I want to get meowt of here!
Sarin starts licking herself compulsively, which is a thing that cats do when they’re nervous or bored or hungry or feeling better than everyone else. In this case, Sarin is nervous.
Beta : I know what you mean. I need a drink.
Beta pulls her ever present flask from her pocket only to discover it’s EMPTY!!!
Beta : Oh my GOD noooooooo!!!!!!!! My flask must have spilled from our flight away from the birds! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!
Beta turns to Egg and starts choking her. Nayiem slaps Beta’s hands away, and then Duchess slaps Beta in the face for good measure.
Nayiem : Forget about it like I forget about everything! We need to figure out where we are and how to get out of here.
Duchess : Well I can tell you based on my privileged rich girl upbringing exactly where we are. This is a dance studio.
Serafina : Thank you Captain Obvious.
Duchess : DON’T CALL ME CAPTAIN I AM A DUCHESS!!!
Wanda Sue : You are all SO irritating. I didn’t realize that part of being an All Star was going to be listening to constant arguing and name calling from what is supposedly a group of grown ass adults.
Geramima : Oh that’s pretty much the whole game. Haven’t you played this before?
Wanda Sue : I have, and I haven’t. It’s complicated.
Geramima : Basically it’s everyone ganging up on someone until they die and then turning around and doing it to the next person.
Wanda Sue : That sounds like a bad strategy.
Geramima : Yeah, well, no one said they really thought it out. Me, I like to keep to myself and…
Thankfully, before Geramima could go on more about herself, the dance instructor with the riding crop slaps it hard into her hand and the models realize they have been spotted. The music in the room stops, and the dancers begin to chant in a foreign language, eerie and unsettling, led by their instructor who now points the crop directly at the All Stars.
Serafina : I have a really bad feeling about this.
Sarin licks her parts with an even greater fervor.
As the chanting of the dancers rises, the models feel the hairs along the backs of their necks stand up, and an electricity starts to crackle throughout the room. One of the mirrors breaks suddenly, sending shards of glass explosively outward towards the group of women.
Egg : RUN!!!
As more mirrors start breaking and the chanting gets louder, the models scramble off towards the various doors and windows throughout the practice room, panicked yet again as they find themselves trapped in another of what seems like an endless stream of torturous horror shows.
Serafina, Beta and Duchess burst through the nearest door, and Serafina slams it shut before anyone else can clamber through.
Serafina : I think we chose the right room!
Beta : Um…don’t speak so soon…
Duchess screams in terror as a coiled mass of snakes curls its way around the floor. The snakes start intertwining around each other, climbing up each of the models’ legs, hissing and choking, fangs exposed.
Serafina looks around in a mad panic, finds a wooden chair, and breaks it into pieces. She snatches the empty flask from Beta’s trembling hand and tips out the last few drops of liquor onto the end of a chair leg.
Serafina : Duchess! Toss me a packet of curry!
Without thinking, Duchess throws a packet of Sonic Curry towards Serafina, who nimbly catches it from the air. She’s running low on curry now, but there’s no time to worry about that.
Knowing that Sonic Curry is both nutritious and inexplicably can also start fires, Serafina opens the packet onto the alcohol dipped wooden chair leg and watches as the leg combusts into flames. Waving it at the snakes, they fall from her and clear a pathway to a door that says, conveniently, EXIT.
She reaches the door and throws the torch back towards Beta and Duchess who begin to struggle over it. Beta snatches it up first, but at the last second, Duchess wrenches it from her hands and escapes after Serafina. Not to be left behind, Beta steels herself and runs headlong, tripping over snakes, just passing through the exit as the jaws of a vicious rattler attempt to close on her ankle.
Back in the dance practice room, glass continues to explode over the rest of the models, who are now in full panic, cut and bleeding. A loud shatter splits the remaining five models into two groups as they launch themselves to opposite sides of the room in an attempt to avoid the shards.
Three of the models are near another door, and they quickly pass through it, shutting it tightly behind them. Egg, Sarin and Nayiem attempt to catch their breath, but before they can even think, they realize the walls around them are closing in on all sides.
Sarin : I feel like Schrodinger’s cat! Trapped in a box! Maybe dead!
Nayiem : Don’t panic. That’s just what they want us to do. Let’s use our heads here.
Egg : Oh come off it! I’m a bird. She’s a cat. You have no memory. We’re like the worst three people here to try and come up with an intelligent plan!
Nayiem : Ok then let’s just use cheap exploits!
Sarin : Good idea!
Sarin looks up at the ceiling and notices a partially open skylight. She uses her catlike abilities to jump directly up, which is a thing cats can do, you can look that up, and launches herself out of the room.
Egg : I guess I’ll just fly out of here again.
Nayiem : Are you going to do that every time?
Egg : Well it would take an awfully long time to think of other ways to escape, and that seems like a whole thing.
Nayiem : That makes sense.
So Egg flies out. Then Nayiem unfurls her giant hat and throws it up through the skylight, climbing up and out just as the walls crush in on each other in the room below.
Back in the dance studio, only two models remain – Geramima and Wanda Sue.
Wanda Sue : Ughhh just as I find my voice in this competition I’m stuck here again!
Geramima : Alas! Even the wolf in me can’t find a way out of this…wait a second. Look! There’s an open window up there on the wall!
Wanda Sue : I don’t know about that – it looks fishy.
Geramima : I love fish! That’s my second favorite food after raw any other kind of animal. Because I am a wolf.
Glass explodes directly into their faces, cutting them deeply, and the chanting dancers turn toward them and begin to advance. Left with no other choice, Wanda and Geramima run towards the open window. Wanda boosts Geramima up to the ledge, then Geramima reaches her hand down towards Wanda to help her up. Too distracted by helping Wanda to notice what’s through the window, Geramima drops down into the next room and lands barefoot on an endless landscape of more broken glass. She drops to her knees in pain and crawls, howling, attempting to escape, but the dancers from the practice room are now entering into this annex, hands lifted and chanting more furiously than ever. They circle around Geramima and lift her up over their heads. Wanda screams in terror as the dancers carry Geramima off, and she could almost swear she sees Geramima’s soul separate from her body, wailing in agony, as Geramima is certain to be sacrificed to this apparent coven’s heartless goddess…

Found this for $8 at my local Zia Records.. any fans out there?