Elementary school poems by dr. audrey coatesworth
What do you predict my preference will be by the time I am 30?
2024.05.18 22:51 Careless-Wish-4563 What do you predict my preference will be by the time I am 30?
I am a black woman. I have been 19 for a little over a month now. I was raised in, and live in, an area with a very low black population.
My preference has changed a lot over time, which is something I’ve more recently started to think about.
The first crushes I remember having ever had, like when I was preschool-elementary school aged, were on Michael J Fox (when he was Marty in “Back to the Future,” may be more accurate to suggest that I had a crush on Marty mcfly,) and Michael Jackson (my parents had his music videos on DVD. I’ve never liked the way he looked in the 2000s, but I think when I was little I liked the way he looked in the 70s-90s. However, in sixth grade, I remember remarking that I thought 80s Michael Jackson was more attractive than 70s Michael Jackson when chatting with my former best friend, who had the opposite opinion.)
My parents have also always liked to tease about how I “dated” a white boy when I was three, claiming that I liked how blue his eyes were. What I find interesting now that I am an adult is that me liking blue eyes and blonde hair (the combination that I believe the kid I liked when I was three had, though it was much too long ago and I don’t remember how he looked or really anything about him at all,) is something that I’m not sure has entirely gone away.
I say this only because in 11th grade, I was already fascinated by/somewhat attracted to a boy I sat next to in Statistics because of his blue eyes and blonde hair, even though I hadn’t yet seen him without a mask (and when I did see him without a mask, I still liked his appearance. To me, he was a little above average.) There was also a mixed race (1/2 black 1/2 white) boy who was considered to be conventionally attractive by most of the grade who I was very attracted to in 12th grade (fawning over him in the halls kind of attracted, which is rare for me,) and he had both light skin and colored eyes (I no longer remember his eye color, though I’m certain it was blue or green.)
In 4th grade, I had a crush on a Filipino boy who I was no longer attracted to by high school (he was a nice person, though, which was partly why I’d liked him so much.) In 6th grade, I had a crush on a 1/2 white 1/2 Japanese boy (he didn’t look fully phenotypically Asian, but didn’t look “white” either. I don’t know what I thought he was. By the time we were in high school and I was perhaps more familiar with different phenotypes, I could see how he was mixed with Asian. But off the top of my head, he may have looked more similar to a Mexican/Latino person.) In 7th or 8th grade, I was either attracted to or had a crush on an Asian girl (she was not considered above average, she had apparently been teased about her looks in elementary school - she was at a healthy weight, at the time her look worked for me but at some point in high school I saw her again and she was subjectively unattractive to me.)
In 10th grade during quarantine, I started to crush on an older above average looking black man who had been kind to me in 9th grade (in this case, the attraction may have actually been reciprocated.) I also had a crush on an average looking white girl, was overweight (may have been a little below average, I don’t know. I also liked her in 10th grade. I was very lonely and depressed in 10th grade.)
I had a crush on David Bowie throughout all of middle school. I remember listening to his albums “Hunky Dory” alongside “Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars.” I loved Jareth from “Labyrinth.” (I was also a big fan of stranger things in middle school, and thought Finn Wolfhard was cute during the second season. I hadn’t really noticed Caleb McLaughlin and found him attractive until I became an adult.)
I will note that I was very attracted to Tim Curry’s Dr Frank N Furter maybe four-five months ago after seeing “rocky horror picture show” for the first time, even though I’m not really attracted to most white men anymore. It was just the energy he exuded.
I had my longest strongest crush on another light skinned mixed race (1/2 black 1/2 white) boy in high school, although he was a bad person. He was slightly above average physically, though he became average by 11th grade and I no longer liked him because he had criticized my appearance behind my back. He had dark brown eyes and I was very into him between 9th-10th grade (crush continued after online schooling had begun,) because I felt he was the only person who noticed my depression, and liked that he wasn’t dismissive of me yet (he later on sort of became dismissive of me after I messed up during a public discussion. I think he’d been curious about me because a friend of his told him I’d been known as smart in middle school.)
In 11th grade, I dated an overweight black boy who I had regarded as average (he was dark skinned. Some may subjectively regard him as a little below average due to the weight and racism, although I remember thinking he had a very common looking face, straight teeth.) I do regret the relationship, he was a bad person. But he was my first sexual experience and this is likely why I know now that if I have another sexual experience, I’d ideally like for it to be with a darker skinned black man (or a Mexican/Latino man, just someone who I suppose has darker skin than the average white man.) It’s strange because before 11th grade I didn’t tend to think sexually about men often, it used to be women but I haven’t felt attraction toward a woman in three years.
I know that I am not attracted to most white men, as someone who lives around a lot of them.
View Poll
submitted by Careless-Wish-4563 to socialscience [link] [comments]
My preference has changed a lot over time, which is something I’ve more recently started to think about.
The first crushes I remember having ever had, like when I was preschool-elementary school aged, were on Michael J Fox (when he was Marty in “Back to the Future,” may be more accurate to suggest that I had a crush on Marty mcfly,) and Michael Jackson (my parents had his music videos on DVD. I’ve never liked the way he looked in the 2000s, but I think when I was little I liked the way he looked in the 70s-90s. However, in sixth grade, I remember remarking that I thought 80s Michael Jackson was more attractive than 70s Michael Jackson when chatting with my former best friend, who had the opposite opinion.)
My parents have also always liked to tease about how I “dated” a white boy when I was three, claiming that I liked how blue his eyes were. What I find interesting now that I am an adult is that me liking blue eyes and blonde hair (the combination that I believe the kid I liked when I was three had, though it was much too long ago and I don’t remember how he looked or really anything about him at all,) is something that I’m not sure has entirely gone away.
I say this only because in 11th grade, I was already fascinated by/somewhat attracted to a boy I sat next to in Statistics because of his blue eyes and blonde hair, even though I hadn’t yet seen him without a mask (and when I did see him without a mask, I still liked his appearance. To me, he was a little above average.) There was also a mixed race (1/2 black 1/2 white) boy who was considered to be conventionally attractive by most of the grade who I was very attracted to in 12th grade (fawning over him in the halls kind of attracted, which is rare for me,) and he had both light skin and colored eyes (I no longer remember his eye color, though I’m certain it was blue or green.)
In 4th grade, I had a crush on a Filipino boy who I was no longer attracted to by high school (he was a nice person, though, which was partly why I’d liked him so much.) In 6th grade, I had a crush on a 1/2 white 1/2 Japanese boy (he didn’t look fully phenotypically Asian, but didn’t look “white” either. I don’t know what I thought he was. By the time we were in high school and I was perhaps more familiar with different phenotypes, I could see how he was mixed with Asian. But off the top of my head, he may have looked more similar to a Mexican/Latino person.) In 7th or 8th grade, I was either attracted to or had a crush on an Asian girl (she was not considered above average, she had apparently been teased about her looks in elementary school - she was at a healthy weight, at the time her look worked for me but at some point in high school I saw her again and she was subjectively unattractive to me.)
In 10th grade during quarantine, I started to crush on an older above average looking black man who had been kind to me in 9th grade (in this case, the attraction may have actually been reciprocated.) I also had a crush on an average looking white girl, was overweight (may have been a little below average, I don’t know. I also liked her in 10th grade. I was very lonely and depressed in 10th grade.)
I had a crush on David Bowie throughout all of middle school. I remember listening to his albums “Hunky Dory” alongside “Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars.” I loved Jareth from “Labyrinth.” (I was also a big fan of stranger things in middle school, and thought Finn Wolfhard was cute during the second season. I hadn’t really noticed Caleb McLaughlin and found him attractive until I became an adult.)
I will note that I was very attracted to Tim Curry’s Dr Frank N Furter maybe four-five months ago after seeing “rocky horror picture show” for the first time, even though I’m not really attracted to most white men anymore. It was just the energy he exuded.
I had my longest strongest crush on another light skinned mixed race (1/2 black 1/2 white) boy in high school, although he was a bad person. He was slightly above average physically, though he became average by 11th grade and I no longer liked him because he had criticized my appearance behind my back. He had dark brown eyes and I was very into him between 9th-10th grade (crush continued after online schooling had begun,) because I felt he was the only person who noticed my depression, and liked that he wasn’t dismissive of me yet (he later on sort of became dismissive of me after I messed up during a public discussion. I think he’d been curious about me because a friend of his told him I’d been known as smart in middle school.)
In 11th grade, I dated an overweight black boy who I had regarded as average (he was dark skinned. Some may subjectively regard him as a little below average due to the weight and racism, although I remember thinking he had a very common looking face, straight teeth.) I do regret the relationship, he was a bad person. But he was my first sexual experience and this is likely why I know now that if I have another sexual experience, I’d ideally like for it to be with a darker skinned black man (or a Mexican/Latino man, just someone who I suppose has darker skin than the average white man.) It’s strange because before 11th grade I didn’t tend to think sexually about men often, it used to be women but I haven’t felt attraction toward a woman in three years.
I know that I am not attracted to most white men, as someone who lives around a lot of them.
View Poll
2024.05.18 17:59 S0ng81rd Part 23
My Dad is bringing up a very important word,
"No"
Actually, I think that was his favorite word.
I had a great habit of using it when I was under his roof. What he said is usually what happens first. He was the head of the house and the leader of his own reality. When he was intoxicated or not, what he saw and thought in his mind came to life, even when it never took place in real time.
Why did I give him so much respect when he clearly was showing me toxicity in our relationship at home?
He pretended to be a person of high stature when we are in public. No one would have guessed his bad habits with substances at home and the way he acted behind closed doors. When I reached out for emotional support at school or church, I was mostly shunned by anyone that listened to my story. They taught me that my feelings were wrong and asking for help gets me in trouble. When I told my mom anything, she was busy at work and came home tired. She trusted everything my father would tell her and I got in trouble for speaking out for his behavior. I was kept at home and if anything that could get me out of the house was already planned to be declined if I asked to do anything.
It was hard to please anyone at this point.
I kept my room spotless and vacuumed everyday, just so my dad couldn't say no and tell me to clean my room if I had a friend standing next to me wanting to hang out.
I had one friend in my life that saw my father for who he really is and he scared her pretty bad. He chased me to her car when I was trying to leave my house, he was on oxy at the time. My friend hesitated and kept the car in the driveway and told me to go do what he said. I wanted her to drive as fast as she could away from him, because he took the battery out of my car and I couldn't leave to be with Suz.
Well, after that incident, I lost my friend. She told her parents what happened and she broke all contact with me and stopped talking to me at church. Rumors went around and her mom I sang with on stage started to be disrespectful towards me.
I learned a valuable lesson that day....
When you feel safe enough to speak out and let someone see your true self, you scare people away.
When I trusted someone, I was abandoned when they saw my life for what it is.
The truth was hard to swallow and I had to stay around my father regardless of trying to find help in some form of way I felt heard. I tried to be emancipated, I went to church and sought out resources, I researched about how to prevent suicidal tendencies, I was speaking to a child psychologist. I was working on being more respectful towards my parents, but when my dad got high and made up stories to be angry and attack me. I had no way to protect myself and prove that it was just my father being an addict going through a psychotic episode.
This is why the Lord forced me into psychology.
I didn't want anything to do with it! (Working in a psych ward.... It sucked.)
Suz was the first person to really allow me to learn how to understand it with her version of explaining reality. She is a psychic medium. A very good one! She was very outspoken, rude and funny.... I can take the hard criticism. Nothing amounted to the trauma my father already caused me to feel. I survived high school band.... My director was exactly like my father and I was verbally abused at school by certain individuals.
I kept it all to myself and I planned very strategically my way to "heaven". I kept a journal on purpose for someone to find later. I wrote about everything I was feeling and how I was being treated, my poems, other interesting facts about spirituality, death and dying.
Suz taught me how to have a "book of shadows"..... Well, she is a witch..... It shouldn't be scary when I say that, she was a very proud "light witch". She only worked for the good of humanity. Christianity shuns such practices, but it really is part of the culture before religion became a thing. She taught me so many things that my Dad made me swear I would never get involved in.....
My Dad went into psychology after he decided he wasn't going to be a pastor. His past marriage was a major roadblock for him that he lost faith in God and didn't feel it was right for him to lie on stage to other believers when he wasn't being honest about his own walk in faith anymore.
A divorce would literally kill my soul. I can't imagine what betrayal feels like until you promise your life in vows to someone and it doesn't work out....My Dad made sure to show me that marriage is a special connection and I had to be very cautious who I accept as my spouse. I never forgotten how important it was for him to see me with the right man, but he was so overprotective, he never allowed me to learn how to date or even go to a school dance.
I blame the drugs for interfering in our relationship as a family. My Father was a very smart man, until he took a pill, shot up, or drink... My dad worked in anesthesia, he knew how to mix his own concoction and by pass the system to get his fix. He was forced to retire don't worry, but his knowledge to get drugs was phenomenal all that he knew about medicine.
It really sucked that he knew psychology and ways to manipulate people to get what he wanted. He was a very skilled hypnotherapist on top of that. My family is the result of a head narcissist raising more products of himself.
If you see my family now, we are estranged for good reasons, but they still hurt me personally. I really tried to keep us together after my father passed away, but the rest of my family chose to ignore my advances to keep in contact. I'm not even invited to the family reunions.
It's okay, because we have a lot of family history of incest and "S.A." and I understand why we are not invited.... I know a lot of things about our family after my father passed away. I know why he turned to be a pastor and then went in psychology to help himself and others, but then he lost his way and turned to drugs to mask his pain. The enemy stepped in and my Dad gave into his weaknesses..... He tried and he fought hard. Even when he attacked me my whole life. I still sat there and listened to him and I was forced to listen and not leave the room, but then God showed me to talk back to my Dad.....
So, I started to read more about the Bible and relate to him.
That's why I went to church...
I went to church 4 times a week to get away from the house, but to also just understand why I want to end my life and know that I would go to heaven if I actually tried it.....I was worried about my Mom and how my actions would affect her, she was a big reason why I stalled my plans and then my Dad had this wise idea to get me to work at a mortuary. Told me to walk into one and ask for a job.
Crazy how I jump topics all of a sudden, but this is how my Dad and I got along with each other. Weird and comical. lol
If it wasn't about music, it was about spirituality. I was into a lot of death related shows because I was suicidal. If you remember any of these, they came out around the time I was in high school.
Six Feet Under
Dead Like Me
Dr. G Medical Examiner
1000 Ways to Die
Ghost hunters
Crime Scene Clean Up Crew shows.
I would walk in the dining room while he was chillin in his hospital bed. Watching Finding Big Foot.
"Hey DAD! check this out."
It was a nice distraction to his day. It brought up his own fears with common daily interactions because of my odd obsession with the topic of dying.
My father at this point in his cancer diagnosis, he was on something they call,
Palliative care.
My mom explained to me that it means he was going to die. Lovely how blunt my mother is, but that's how she said it without sugar coating it....
But it was in a way it would be under his terms. My father at this point died once while receiving radiation therapy. His heart stopped and was revived. When he woke up angry and violent towards at the medical team. He yelled at my mom that he was ready to "go". So, after that incident he got the right person to sign him up for his new journey to his death.
That was a weird way of telling you what palliative care is, but that's how I found out and understood that he had a "DNR" to his name after that incident. Sometimes he was in a hospice home for a few months to give us a break at home dealing with his drama.
My Dad was surrounded by death, so it made me really research death and dying very deeply. I was afraid for anyone to see the books I read because they were about taboo topics you shouldn't see a teenager obsessing over. Death and dying, crossing over, letting go of loved ones, suicide survivors, decomposition of human remains, the death process, how a body is embalmed, what medical examiners while cutting open a corpse.
Then I got into the spiritual side of things that involve the devil and crossing over. How to avoid walking back towards hell when you are deceived by dark forces. How to fight your inner hell and not be trapped in that mindset when you are passing away.
I would have the craziest dreams after learning about these topics. But in a weird way, all I wanted to do was sleep to escape my reality. I would talk to my Dad about the stuff I found about those topics and it helped him be closer to me as a father. Something my little brother doesn't understand and ridiculed about me when he criticized my relationship with him. He had his own way to being with Dad, but my way, was with deeper meaning and serious topics. Stuff only Dad and I knew what that meant. It wasn't supposed to make sense to my mom or brother the special talks we had when he was in pain laying in bed.
I showed my Dad the other side to life....
I helped my Dad not be afraid to die, and do it with dignity and strength.
I helped my Dad understand that his addictions didn't ruin our connection as father and daughter and that I wanted to forgive him for his past before he died. He really appreciated my understanding that the drugs turned him into a different person, but inside of him, God was always there. My father told me, because of me, I allowed him to find love for God again and he was closer to his Mom because I showed him to not be afraid of my friend Suz.
That my friend wasn't evil and she taught me so much about angels and spirits, he was learning about them because I had the best mentor in the world. She helped me find my relationship with my Dad, that brought me to be closer to God and because I learned about God in a metaphysical way, I helped myself grow in my own understanding to where I wasn't going to end my life.
I found a reason to live even through the pain of watching the enemy run through my family and take away everyone and everything that means something to me.....
(I would like to post this, but I know it's not ready. I have so much to say and I know my story will help someone else not be afraid.)
I am still writing my story.
This is the book I was supposed to write about....
The one about death and dying.
Not about my background in psychology.
*That is a message for someone else. hint hint... That is your topic to write about. I hope you receive that message with understanding and go forth wisely. You asked me to remind you, so I am, quietly...
I am working with others in a way the Lord leads me.
It takes up my energy from writing and I have to prioritize what is more important. When it comes to someone's transition. I feel led to help someone cross over. I've done this since I was a child. No one taught me to understand how I do this. I also dream about meeting certain individuals and speak to them about life and death, God allows me to remember my dreams and I share them with the people it is about.
Most times, God will send people to talk to me and then I learn about them dying or having a terminal illness that is difficult to get through. That is where I am reminded of my life with my father and my jobs in the medical field and bring up all that I learned about death, dying, spirituality, religion, crossing over, eastern medicine, etc....
Then I become friends, or we have nice conversations that are very engaging and healing in general. I am later told that I have helped them in some way and they are happy to have met me. Then my dad shows up in my presence and shows me how I am doing what I am supposed to and to trust my gut feelings from now on. He promised me when he was alive, he was always going to be by my side and teach me about life.
Now I finally understand what he meant by that and I now that I know how to
"Listen with my HEART"
That is how he spoke to his mom before he crossed over. I taught him how and he was able to go deeper with it since his soul was ascending and leaving the physical body. The dream state plays a big part of crossing over and communicating with loved ones. That is where my gifts come into play. I am sensitive enough to feel him and learn his lessons that he encourages me to write it all down.
I'm not the writer I wish to become yet, but as long as it's getting out there for someone to find, that's all that matters.
Don't forget to realize that we are all dying. Don't allow your diagnosis or reality to have you feel stuck in misery until you die. Don't allow the pain and confusion to stop you from gaining understanding to the karma you're experiencing.Being a medium for me has been traumatizing, because I had to earn my way to understanding. I had to experience hell in order to seek solitude and want to create peace with my sanity and not let the forces around me cause me to go insane. I went "within" so I can heal my trauma and know what triggers me to thinking about the negative side to things.
That is all the enemy fighting with you spiritually.
When we die, we lose our vessel, not our spirit.
We are the spirit having the human experience.
This isn't forever.
Thank God for that!
Pain does end, but learn what the pain wants to teach you about life around you. You will help someone else with your story when you're meant to cross paths.
Everyone in your life is there to teach you something.
Are you ready for the lesson?
Are you ready to understand your lesson?
So, it's crazy how I end up writing these posts, but they are all for a reason that I don't understand right now, but I'm doing as I'm told.
I'm not afraid of death, I'm not afraid of anyone stalking me because I speak of life in a way no one else has, because this is my story.
I don't know why I wrote it this way before I got here.
My destiny, I mean.....
I know my purpose now and of all the things I pushed away in my life, God forced me to go back into it and learn more about myself. The things I didn't want to face and be reminded about my Dad.... I just want to live my life in peace. I didn't want to think about my past love, but I meet people that remind me of my life back home and that person in particular.....
So, it's all hitting at once. It's a slow process, my father has been gone for 11 years now. I'm getting the hang of it now...... Writing this isn't a race for me, the lessons are exciting to finally understand why I went through them, but again.... Time helps me explain things better when I see it in a different perspective. I couldn't have accomplished that goal until I went through the pain and worked on my character to change my outcomes to my problems. I had to change myself first.
I hope those that are part of this journey with me understand that I am only putting out there tools to help them succeed.
I'm not going out of my way to create another trauma bond or narcissistic injury towards anyone. I love them very much and I want them to work on themselves and gain abundance correctly, not with the use of black magic and occult practices.
That's another story for another day. Suz wants them to know that she was in my life to warn me about my lessons in my future, but I can't run from them. I am here to learn lessons and teach others how to learn theirs.
That's all this is about.
Life is a stage, how do you want to play it?
I choose to grow and allow myself to see the positive to where I feel the emotion of bliss, love, joy and acceptance of all things coexisting together.
I be back soon,
I hope you have a nice weekend.
<3,
Tina,
submitted by S0ng81rd to u/S0ng81rd [link] [comments]
"No"
Actually, I think that was his favorite word.
I had a great habit of using it when I was under his roof. What he said is usually what happens first. He was the head of the house and the leader of his own reality. When he was intoxicated or not, what he saw and thought in his mind came to life, even when it never took place in real time.
Why did I give him so much respect when he clearly was showing me toxicity in our relationship at home?
He pretended to be a person of high stature when we are in public. No one would have guessed his bad habits with substances at home and the way he acted behind closed doors. When I reached out for emotional support at school or church, I was mostly shunned by anyone that listened to my story. They taught me that my feelings were wrong and asking for help gets me in trouble. When I told my mom anything, she was busy at work and came home tired. She trusted everything my father would tell her and I got in trouble for speaking out for his behavior. I was kept at home and if anything that could get me out of the house was already planned to be declined if I asked to do anything.
It was hard to please anyone at this point.
I kept my room spotless and vacuumed everyday, just so my dad couldn't say no and tell me to clean my room if I had a friend standing next to me wanting to hang out.
I had one friend in my life that saw my father for who he really is and he scared her pretty bad. He chased me to her car when I was trying to leave my house, he was on oxy at the time. My friend hesitated and kept the car in the driveway and told me to go do what he said. I wanted her to drive as fast as she could away from him, because he took the battery out of my car and I couldn't leave to be with Suz.
Well, after that incident, I lost my friend. She told her parents what happened and she broke all contact with me and stopped talking to me at church. Rumors went around and her mom I sang with on stage started to be disrespectful towards me.
I learned a valuable lesson that day....
When you feel safe enough to speak out and let someone see your true self, you scare people away.
When I trusted someone, I was abandoned when they saw my life for what it is.
The truth was hard to swallow and I had to stay around my father regardless of trying to find help in some form of way I felt heard. I tried to be emancipated, I went to church and sought out resources, I researched about how to prevent suicidal tendencies, I was speaking to a child psychologist. I was working on being more respectful towards my parents, but when my dad got high and made up stories to be angry and attack me. I had no way to protect myself and prove that it was just my father being an addict going through a psychotic episode.
This is why the Lord forced me into psychology.
I didn't want anything to do with it! (Working in a psych ward.... It sucked.)
Suz was the first person to really allow me to learn how to understand it with her version of explaining reality. She is a psychic medium. A very good one! She was very outspoken, rude and funny.... I can take the hard criticism. Nothing amounted to the trauma my father already caused me to feel. I survived high school band.... My director was exactly like my father and I was verbally abused at school by certain individuals.
I kept it all to myself and I planned very strategically my way to "heaven". I kept a journal on purpose for someone to find later. I wrote about everything I was feeling and how I was being treated, my poems, other interesting facts about spirituality, death and dying.
Suz taught me how to have a "book of shadows"..... Well, she is a witch..... It shouldn't be scary when I say that, she was a very proud "light witch". She only worked for the good of humanity. Christianity shuns such practices, but it really is part of the culture before religion became a thing. She taught me so many things that my Dad made me swear I would never get involved in.....
My Dad went into psychology after he decided he wasn't going to be a pastor. His past marriage was a major roadblock for him that he lost faith in God and didn't feel it was right for him to lie on stage to other believers when he wasn't being honest about his own walk in faith anymore.
A divorce would literally kill my soul. I can't imagine what betrayal feels like until you promise your life in vows to someone and it doesn't work out....My Dad made sure to show me that marriage is a special connection and I had to be very cautious who I accept as my spouse. I never forgotten how important it was for him to see me with the right man, but he was so overprotective, he never allowed me to learn how to date or even go to a school dance.
I blame the drugs for interfering in our relationship as a family. My Father was a very smart man, until he took a pill, shot up, or drink... My dad worked in anesthesia, he knew how to mix his own concoction and by pass the system to get his fix. He was forced to retire don't worry, but his knowledge to get drugs was phenomenal all that he knew about medicine.
It really sucked that he knew psychology and ways to manipulate people to get what he wanted. He was a very skilled hypnotherapist on top of that. My family is the result of a head narcissist raising more products of himself.
If you see my family now, we are estranged for good reasons, but they still hurt me personally. I really tried to keep us together after my father passed away, but the rest of my family chose to ignore my advances to keep in contact. I'm not even invited to the family reunions.
It's okay, because we have a lot of family history of incest and "S.A." and I understand why we are not invited.... I know a lot of things about our family after my father passed away. I know why he turned to be a pastor and then went in psychology to help himself and others, but then he lost his way and turned to drugs to mask his pain. The enemy stepped in and my Dad gave into his weaknesses..... He tried and he fought hard. Even when he attacked me my whole life. I still sat there and listened to him and I was forced to listen and not leave the room, but then God showed me to talk back to my Dad.....
So, I started to read more about the Bible and relate to him.
That's why I went to church...
I went to church 4 times a week to get away from the house, but to also just understand why I want to end my life and know that I would go to heaven if I actually tried it.....I was worried about my Mom and how my actions would affect her, she was a big reason why I stalled my plans and then my Dad had this wise idea to get me to work at a mortuary. Told me to walk into one and ask for a job.
Crazy how I jump topics all of a sudden, but this is how my Dad and I got along with each other. Weird and comical. lol
If it wasn't about music, it was about spirituality. I was into a lot of death related shows because I was suicidal. If you remember any of these, they came out around the time I was in high school.
Six Feet Under
Dead Like Me
Dr. G Medical Examiner
1000 Ways to Die
Ghost hunters
Crime Scene Clean Up Crew shows.
I would walk in the dining room while he was chillin in his hospital bed. Watching Finding Big Foot.
"Hey DAD! check this out."
It was a nice distraction to his day. It brought up his own fears with common daily interactions because of my odd obsession with the topic of dying.
My father at this point in his cancer diagnosis, he was on something they call,
Palliative care.
My mom explained to me that it means he was going to die. Lovely how blunt my mother is, but that's how she said it without sugar coating it....
But it was in a way it would be under his terms. My father at this point died once while receiving radiation therapy. His heart stopped and was revived. When he woke up angry and violent towards at the medical team. He yelled at my mom that he was ready to "go". So, after that incident he got the right person to sign him up for his new journey to his death.
That was a weird way of telling you what palliative care is, but that's how I found out and understood that he had a "DNR" to his name after that incident. Sometimes he was in a hospice home for a few months to give us a break at home dealing with his drama.
My Dad was surrounded by death, so it made me really research death and dying very deeply. I was afraid for anyone to see the books I read because they were about taboo topics you shouldn't see a teenager obsessing over. Death and dying, crossing over, letting go of loved ones, suicide survivors, decomposition of human remains, the death process, how a body is embalmed, what medical examiners while cutting open a corpse.
Then I got into the spiritual side of things that involve the devil and crossing over. How to avoid walking back towards hell when you are deceived by dark forces. How to fight your inner hell and not be trapped in that mindset when you are passing away.
I would have the craziest dreams after learning about these topics. But in a weird way, all I wanted to do was sleep to escape my reality. I would talk to my Dad about the stuff I found about those topics and it helped him be closer to me as a father. Something my little brother doesn't understand and ridiculed about me when he criticized my relationship with him. He had his own way to being with Dad, but my way, was with deeper meaning and serious topics. Stuff only Dad and I knew what that meant. It wasn't supposed to make sense to my mom or brother the special talks we had when he was in pain laying in bed.
I showed my Dad the other side to life....
I helped my Dad not be afraid to die, and do it with dignity and strength.
I helped my Dad understand that his addictions didn't ruin our connection as father and daughter and that I wanted to forgive him for his past before he died. He really appreciated my understanding that the drugs turned him into a different person, but inside of him, God was always there. My father told me, because of me, I allowed him to find love for God again and he was closer to his Mom because I showed him to not be afraid of my friend Suz.
That my friend wasn't evil and she taught me so much about angels and spirits, he was learning about them because I had the best mentor in the world. She helped me find my relationship with my Dad, that brought me to be closer to God and because I learned about God in a metaphysical way, I helped myself grow in my own understanding to where I wasn't going to end my life.
I found a reason to live even through the pain of watching the enemy run through my family and take away everyone and everything that means something to me.....
(I would like to post this, but I know it's not ready. I have so much to say and I know my story will help someone else not be afraid.)
I am still writing my story.
This is the book I was supposed to write about....
The one about death and dying.
Not about my background in psychology.
*That is a message for someone else. hint hint... That is your topic to write about. I hope you receive that message with understanding and go forth wisely. You asked me to remind you, so I am, quietly...
I am working with others in a way the Lord leads me.
It takes up my energy from writing and I have to prioritize what is more important. When it comes to someone's transition. I feel led to help someone cross over. I've done this since I was a child. No one taught me to understand how I do this. I also dream about meeting certain individuals and speak to them about life and death, God allows me to remember my dreams and I share them with the people it is about.
Most times, God will send people to talk to me and then I learn about them dying or having a terminal illness that is difficult to get through. That is where I am reminded of my life with my father and my jobs in the medical field and bring up all that I learned about death, dying, spirituality, religion, crossing over, eastern medicine, etc....
Then I become friends, or we have nice conversations that are very engaging and healing in general. I am later told that I have helped them in some way and they are happy to have met me. Then my dad shows up in my presence and shows me how I am doing what I am supposed to and to trust my gut feelings from now on. He promised me when he was alive, he was always going to be by my side and teach me about life.
Now I finally understand what he meant by that and I now that I know how to
"Listen with my HEART"
That is how he spoke to his mom before he crossed over. I taught him how and he was able to go deeper with it since his soul was ascending and leaving the physical body. The dream state plays a big part of crossing over and communicating with loved ones. That is where my gifts come into play. I am sensitive enough to feel him and learn his lessons that he encourages me to write it all down.
I'm not the writer I wish to become yet, but as long as it's getting out there for someone to find, that's all that matters.
Don't forget to realize that we are all dying. Don't allow your diagnosis or reality to have you feel stuck in misery until you die. Don't allow the pain and confusion to stop you from gaining understanding to the karma you're experiencing.Being a medium for me has been traumatizing, because I had to earn my way to understanding. I had to experience hell in order to seek solitude and want to create peace with my sanity and not let the forces around me cause me to go insane. I went "within" so I can heal my trauma and know what triggers me to thinking about the negative side to things.
That is all the enemy fighting with you spiritually.
When we die, we lose our vessel, not our spirit.
We are the spirit having the human experience.
This isn't forever.
Thank God for that!
Pain does end, but learn what the pain wants to teach you about life around you. You will help someone else with your story when you're meant to cross paths.
Everyone in your life is there to teach you something.
Are you ready for the lesson?
Are you ready to understand your lesson?
So, it's crazy how I end up writing these posts, but they are all for a reason that I don't understand right now, but I'm doing as I'm told.
I'm not afraid of death, I'm not afraid of anyone stalking me because I speak of life in a way no one else has, because this is my story.
I don't know why I wrote it this way before I got here.
My destiny, I mean.....
I know my purpose now and of all the things I pushed away in my life, God forced me to go back into it and learn more about myself. The things I didn't want to face and be reminded about my Dad.... I just want to live my life in peace. I didn't want to think about my past love, but I meet people that remind me of my life back home and that person in particular.....
So, it's all hitting at once. It's a slow process, my father has been gone for 11 years now. I'm getting the hang of it now...... Writing this isn't a race for me, the lessons are exciting to finally understand why I went through them, but again.... Time helps me explain things better when I see it in a different perspective. I couldn't have accomplished that goal until I went through the pain and worked on my character to change my outcomes to my problems. I had to change myself first.
I hope those that are part of this journey with me understand that I am only putting out there tools to help them succeed.
I'm not going out of my way to create another trauma bond or narcissistic injury towards anyone. I love them very much and I want them to work on themselves and gain abundance correctly, not with the use of black magic and occult practices.
That's another story for another day. Suz wants them to know that she was in my life to warn me about my lessons in my future, but I can't run from them. I am here to learn lessons and teach others how to learn theirs.
That's all this is about.
Life is a stage, how do you want to play it?
I choose to grow and allow myself to see the positive to where I feel the emotion of bliss, love, joy and acceptance of all things coexisting together.
I be back soon,
I hope you have a nice weekend.
<3,
Tina,
2024.05.17 11:29 Naudilent My Views and Reviews Can't Beat Unless You Tell Them To
A 70s stinker, big monster, off the path and more this week.
The TL;DR The Visitor: A remarkable cast is wasted in this bizarre Italian semi-sci-fi riff on The Omen, The Fury, and others. The Ruins: Absolutely riveting tourism gone wrong horror. Deathgasm: Top tier horror comedy that hits similar notes to Dead Alive. My Heart Can’t Beat Unless You Tell It To: Part family drama, part thought experiment. A look at a trio of people who are dead inside, each in their own way. The Lake: Special effects are the star of this “Thaiju” feature, but there isn’t much else to it. Moloch: Needed some edits but fans of folk horror should enjoy this Dutch offering. Lovely, Dark, and Deep: In the forests of the night, it gets credibly creepy. Low budget, but a great lead and fine visuals.
The Visitor (1979): “I can’t kill children – only the evil part.” After a psychedelic encounter on a planet with a lava lamp atmosphere, an old man lets blond space Jesus — who has been telling hairless kids about how “Commander Yahweh” slew the demonic Sateen — know that a spiritual descendant of Sateen has been reborn on Earth. Cue 70s style soundtrack, and here we go! Or would go, if anything ever happened. The film is a total mess, with bizarrely long takes of John Huston (!) and others pacing or staring or driving in one scene and rapidfire edits in another. Lance Henrikson’s (!) Ray is more robotic than Bishop, and Shelley Winters (!) and Sam Peckinpah (!!) don’t make much of a difference. Allegedly, the cast only participated to gain a free trip to Italy, which I hope they enjoyed. Huston’s distinctive voice is the film’s only redeeming quality, but you’re better off hearing it elsewhere. Gore: 1/10. Nudity: None. Tubi.
The Ruins (2008): “Aren’t you glad you came?” Iceman and Jena Malone (who had a memorable makeout session in Neon Demon) venture with their friends to some off the path Mayan ruins, where the locals welcoming in a “We wish you’d never, ever leave” way. As it turns out, I’d already seen this one long ago; hearing the “cell phone” ring immediately tipped me off. But it was very much worth a second watch, and if you haven’t seen it absolutely do so. It’s well worth the $3 and change. Then consider the aftermath. Gore: 6/10. Nudity: None. Prime rental
Deathgasm (2015): “Hail Satin” Horror comedies face the same challenge as regular comedies: keeping the laughs going after the first 15 minutes, when the dramatic plot kicks in. Tucker and Dale did this very well; Zombeavers not so much. Deathgasm, fortunately, is a lot closer to T&D, finding ways great and small to inject humor in and around the more serious scenes. And damn, what lines — I had to pause more than a few times to laugh my arse off. As a metalhead in my youth, I appreciated a lot of jokes more than I might have otherwise, but anyone with a stomach for gore and naughtiness will enjoy this one. Gore: 8/10, but it’s a funny 8/10. Nudity: Brief. Tubi
My Heart Can’t Beat Unless You Tell it To (2021): “We shouldn’t be doing the things that we’re doing.” Two siblings care for the third, who is sickly and has special nutritional requirements one might term the “Lugosi Diet.” Not heroin — the red stuff. This is only peripherally a vampire movie. It’s much more a psychological drama about caregiver fatigue, the struggle of the able to aid the disabled and how even a family full of love can collapse under the weight of their burdens. There’s no backstory given, no mythos to justify the situation, just a family struggling to do what they have to do to keep their youngest member alive. It’s good, with the leads providing a bleak window into their day-to-day existences, though a little humor would have been nice. It’s an existential, thought-provoking vignette that may linger with you. Gore: 3/10, bloodletting. Nudity: Just a man and his underwear. Screambox, which I apparently still have.
The Lake (2022): “Compose yourself. Don’t get out of the car.” I wanted a big monster flick, and this Thai production says it has one. I just hope I don’t have to wait forever for it to sho—ah, 3 minutes in and there it is. No build up at all. Huh. A fan of Bong Joon-Ho’s The Host (2006) apparently got hold of a decent budget and put together a “Thaiju” film of their own, and it’s…okay. While the editing is all over the place, it does keep the story moving, and the creatures are interesting to look at and well rendered. There are speed bump human dramas, but they don’t account for much; characters are uni-dimensional, and the film unfortunately lacks much in the way of a binding narrative. If you’re in the mood for a big beast exercise in special effects, you could do worse. Just don’t expect much else. Gore: 4/10. Nudity: None. Prime.
Moloch (2022): “You science boys, you’re uninformed.” This Dutch folk horror tells — at a modest pace — the story of Bietrik and her family, who have suffered substantial losses over the generations. Events lead her to believe that her family may be cursed, haunted by some local entity. All in all, it’s a decent movie, wrapped around its own eerie mythology and leading to a striking conclusion. There’s a scene in a field that should have been left on the cutting room floor, and the second half lacks the sense of urgency and discovery that can really carry a movie, but I’d still recommend it for the atmosphere and some fine, creepy moments. Not bad for a writedirector’s first full length feature.
Gore: 3/10. Nudity: None. Trivia: While Moloch has often been thought of as a deity to whom children were sacrificed, more recent research suggests it was instead a type of sacrifice, one that involved children and was performed for various gods in the Levant, including the god of the Hebrews. Shudder
Lovely, Dark, and Deep (2023): “You’ve taken from us.” Georgina Campbell (Barbarian) is a forest ranger taking her first 90-day assignment in the deepest part of the woods in her fictional park. We see her settle in, go on multi-day walkabouts, and wrestle with a loss in her past. It’s a slow, scenic build to the weirdness, but it snowballs quickly. There’s a “walking simulator” aspect that follows which may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but Campbell kept me invested with her performance. While the film follows some tropes (things there one moment and gone the next, for example), it turns others on its head. While “in the forest” stories can go very different ways (as The Ritual, Gaia,and In the Earth demonstrate), I finished LD&D thinking of it as a folk horror. I’m curious if you agree. Gore: 5/10 for some red moments. Nudity: None. Trivia: The title comes from a Robert Frost poem you may have encountered in school. Tubi
What fine or forgettable flicks have been on your list this week?
submitted by Naudilent to horror [link] [comments]
The TL;DR The Visitor: A remarkable cast is wasted in this bizarre Italian semi-sci-fi riff on The Omen, The Fury, and others. The Ruins: Absolutely riveting tourism gone wrong horror. Deathgasm: Top tier horror comedy that hits similar notes to Dead Alive. My Heart Can’t Beat Unless You Tell It To: Part family drama, part thought experiment. A look at a trio of people who are dead inside, each in their own way. The Lake: Special effects are the star of this “Thaiju” feature, but there isn’t much else to it. Moloch: Needed some edits but fans of folk horror should enjoy this Dutch offering. Lovely, Dark, and Deep: In the forests of the night, it gets credibly creepy. Low budget, but a great lead and fine visuals.
The Visitor (1979): “I can’t kill children – only the evil part.” After a psychedelic encounter on a planet with a lava lamp atmosphere, an old man lets blond space Jesus — who has been telling hairless kids about how “Commander Yahweh” slew the demonic Sateen — know that a spiritual descendant of Sateen has been reborn on Earth. Cue 70s style soundtrack, and here we go! Or would go, if anything ever happened. The film is a total mess, with bizarrely long takes of John Huston (!) and others pacing or staring or driving in one scene and rapidfire edits in another. Lance Henrikson’s (!) Ray is more robotic than Bishop, and Shelley Winters (!) and Sam Peckinpah (!!) don’t make much of a difference. Allegedly, the cast only participated to gain a free trip to Italy, which I hope they enjoyed. Huston’s distinctive voice is the film’s only redeeming quality, but you’re better off hearing it elsewhere. Gore: 1/10. Nudity: None. Tubi.
The Ruins (2008): “Aren’t you glad you came?” Iceman and Jena Malone (who had a memorable makeout session in Neon Demon) venture with their friends to some off the path Mayan ruins, where the locals welcoming in a “We wish you’d never, ever leave” way. As it turns out, I’d already seen this one long ago; hearing the “cell phone” ring immediately tipped me off. But it was very much worth a second watch, and if you haven’t seen it absolutely do so. It’s well worth the $3 and change. Then consider the aftermath. Gore: 6/10. Nudity: None. Prime rental
Deathgasm (2015): “Hail Satin” Horror comedies face the same challenge as regular comedies: keeping the laughs going after the first 15 minutes, when the dramatic plot kicks in. Tucker and Dale did this very well; Zombeavers not so much. Deathgasm, fortunately, is a lot closer to T&D, finding ways great and small to inject humor in and around the more serious scenes. And damn, what lines — I had to pause more than a few times to laugh my arse off. As a metalhead in my youth, I appreciated a lot of jokes more than I might have otherwise, but anyone with a stomach for gore and naughtiness will enjoy this one. Gore: 8/10, but it’s a funny 8/10. Nudity: Brief. Tubi
My Heart Can’t Beat Unless You Tell it To (2021): “We shouldn’t be doing the things that we’re doing.” Two siblings care for the third, who is sickly and has special nutritional requirements one might term the “Lugosi Diet.” Not heroin — the red stuff. This is only peripherally a vampire movie. It’s much more a psychological drama about caregiver fatigue, the struggle of the able to aid the disabled and how even a family full of love can collapse under the weight of their burdens. There’s no backstory given, no mythos to justify the situation, just a family struggling to do what they have to do to keep their youngest member alive. It’s good, with the leads providing a bleak window into their day-to-day existences, though a little humor would have been nice. It’s an existential, thought-provoking vignette that may linger with you. Gore: 3/10, bloodletting. Nudity: Just a man and his underwear. Screambox, which I apparently still have.
The Lake (2022): “Compose yourself. Don’t get out of the car.” I wanted a big monster flick, and this Thai production says it has one. I just hope I don’t have to wait forever for it to sho—ah, 3 minutes in and there it is. No build up at all. Huh. A fan of Bong Joon-Ho’s The Host (2006) apparently got hold of a decent budget and put together a “Thaiju” film of their own, and it’s…okay. While the editing is all over the place, it does keep the story moving, and the creatures are interesting to look at and well rendered. There are speed bump human dramas, but they don’t account for much; characters are uni-dimensional, and the film unfortunately lacks much in the way of a binding narrative. If you’re in the mood for a big beast exercise in special effects, you could do worse. Just don’t expect much else. Gore: 4/10. Nudity: None. Prime.
Moloch (2022): “You science boys, you’re uninformed.” This Dutch folk horror tells — at a modest pace — the story of Bietrik and her family, who have suffered substantial losses over the generations. Events lead her to believe that her family may be cursed, haunted by some local entity. All in all, it’s a decent movie, wrapped around its own eerie mythology and leading to a striking conclusion. There’s a scene in a field that should have been left on the cutting room floor, and the second half lacks the sense of urgency and discovery that can really carry a movie, but I’d still recommend it for the atmosphere and some fine, creepy moments. Not bad for a writedirector’s first full length feature.
Gore: 3/10. Nudity: None. Trivia: While Moloch has often been thought of as a deity to whom children were sacrificed, more recent research suggests it was instead a type of sacrifice, one that involved children and was performed for various gods in the Levant, including the god of the Hebrews. Shudder
Lovely, Dark, and Deep (2023): “You’ve taken from us.” Georgina Campbell (Barbarian) is a forest ranger taking her first 90-day assignment in the deepest part of the woods in her fictional park. We see her settle in, go on multi-day walkabouts, and wrestle with a loss in her past. It’s a slow, scenic build to the weirdness, but it snowballs quickly. There’s a “walking simulator” aspect that follows which may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but Campbell kept me invested with her performance. While the film follows some tropes (things there one moment and gone the next, for example), it turns others on its head. While “in the forest” stories can go very different ways (as The Ritual, Gaia,and In the Earth demonstrate), I finished LD&D thinking of it as a folk horror. I’m curious if you agree. Gore: 5/10 for some red moments. Nudity: None. Trivia: The title comes from a Robert Frost poem you may have encountered in school. Tubi
What fine or forgettable flicks have been on your list this week?
2024.05.17 09:27 Chahiye-Thoda-Pyaar Meri Aatmakatha
For tdlr scroll down
I know this is wholesome sub but sunno mohalle walo meri aap biti 😂
I have been a good academically and a decent person. I met so many good women in my life, too, whom I dated casually and had a few serious relationships. Except for two times, I exited those serious relationships very early because I didn’t feel anything, so we parted ways on good terms. But do baar mujhe pyaar hua. I will tell you about them only.
I don’t know why all this happened. I don’t know what else I could have done so that they didn’t do that to me. Maybe I was not a good partner. There could be any other reasons. But I don’t hold any grudges against them. I wish wherever they are, they are happy.
These experiences were very important for me; they made me who I am today. I don't hold anything against anyone. These are just two instances. In my life, I have met so many amazing women and am friends with them too.
What’s next? I am kinda hopeful that I will find love. But Thik hai, nahi mila to mami Jo karegi Accha hi karegi. But whoever I have in my life, I will look for two qualities in them, no matter how they look or other things: loyalty and the ability to stand for what they believe in. If they leave, they should leave being brave and open about it. I don’t care about other things like distance, looks, status, or whatever else.
TL;DR: I've had a few serious relationships, but two major ones stood out. The first was with my childhood love who suddenly got married to someone else without any closure for me. The second was with someone who moved to North America for me, but she cheated on me with a mutual friend. After discovering this, I ended the relationship and had to move houses and delete social media to get away from her.
submitted by Chahiye-Thoda-Pyaar to indiasocial [link] [comments]
I know this is wholesome sub but sunno mohalle walo meri aap biti 😂
I have been a good academically and a decent person. I met so many good women in my life, too, whom I dated casually and had a few serious relationships. Except for two times, I exited those serious relationships very early because I didn’t feel anything, so we parted ways on good terms. But do baar mujhe pyaar hua. I will tell you about them only.
- This is my first love and someone I have known since my childhood. She was the daughter of a relative (I mean my bua’s relative, actually). She used to study at my school too. In high school, she chased me for a year, and finally, I gave in. We started dating; it was my first love, and I was happy. Kasme, waade, sapne bohot dekhe. I was a sort of grounded person; I live in the present and enjoy it thoroughly, but she was futuristic with lots of promises and future dreams. "I will have your kids, we will travel the world," blah blah. I did everything to keep her happy. I used to cook for her, I used to write poems for her, we used to go on dates often, and we traveled. But one fine day, I got an invitation to a wedding. Guess what? It was her wedding. I had so many questions: why, how, when? But I got no closure. I never asked for it. I went to the wedding because it was a family thing, and yeah, I never looked back (this was my longest relationship).
- After few years and meeting so many people, I fell in love again. To be honest, this time we fell for each other during the initial conversations. Again, there were dreams, sapne, waade. She moved to North America for me, and we moved together into a single house. By this time, I had become a pro at cooking, so I used to go to study, then the office, then back home to cook something delicious for us. I can cook any cuisine irrespective of the continent or country. Till now, I have learned many other skills like piano and guitar, so I used to sing for her, play for her, and we used to dance together. Everything was good; we had mutual friends, and we knew a guy mutually. That guy didn’t like me, and I didn’t like him. I did have a problem with things because my ex told me he does not like me. But I don’t own her; I don’t own anyone. Actually, anyone can do anything in their life.
I don’t know why all this happened. I don’t know what else I could have done so that they didn’t do that to me. Maybe I was not a good partner. There could be any other reasons. But I don’t hold any grudges against them. I wish wherever they are, they are happy.
These experiences were very important for me; they made me who I am today. I don't hold anything against anyone. These are just two instances. In my life, I have met so many amazing women and am friends with them too.
What’s next? I am kinda hopeful that I will find love. But Thik hai, nahi mila to mami Jo karegi Accha hi karegi. But whoever I have in my life, I will look for two qualities in them, no matter how they look or other things: loyalty and the ability to stand for what they believe in. If they leave, they should leave being brave and open about it. I don’t care about other things like distance, looks, status, or whatever else.
TL;DR: I've had a few serious relationships, but two major ones stood out. The first was with my childhood love who suddenly got married to someone else without any closure for me. The second was with someone who moved to North America for me, but she cheated on me with a mutual friend. After discovering this, I ended the relationship and had to move houses and delete social media to get away from her.
2024.05.17 09:23 Chahiye-Thoda-Pyaar My love life:)
For tdlr scroll down
I know this sub is for Tinder or dating apps, and my life stories may not have a place here, but I have been following this sub for a long time. So, I wanted to share with you guys. I don’t think I was wrong, but let’s see your perspective too.
I have been a good academically and a decent person. I met so many good women in my life, too, whom I dated casually and had a few serious relationships. Except for two times, I exited those serious relationships very early because I didn’t feel anything, so we parted ways on good terms. But do baar mujhe pyaar hua. I will tell you about them only.
1.This is my first love and someone I have known since my childhood. She was the daughter of a relative (I mean my bua’s relative, actually). She used to study at my school too. In high school, she chased me for a year, and finally, I gave in. We started dating; it was my first love, and I was happy. Kasme, waade, sapne bohot dekhe. I was a sort of grounded person; I live in the present and enjoy it thoroughly, but she was futuristic with lots of promises and future dreams. "I will have your kids, we will travel the world," blah blah. I did everything to keep her happy. I used to cook for her, I used to write poems for her, we used to go on dates often, and we traveled. But one fine day, I got an invitation to a wedding. Guess what? It was her wedding. I had so many questions: why, how, when? But I got no closure. I never asked for it. I went to the wedding because it was a family thing, and yeah, I never looked back (this was my longest relationship).
2.After a few years and meeting so many people, I fell in love again. To be honest, this time we fell for each other during the initial conversations. Again, there were dreams, sapne, waade. She moved to North America for me, and we moved together into a single house. By this time, I had become a pro at cooking, so I used to go to study, then the office, then back home to cook something delicious for us. I can cook any cuisine irrespective of the continent or country. Till now, I have learned many other skills like piano and guitar, so I used to sing for her, play for her, and we used to dance together. Everything was good; we had mutual friends, and we knew a guy mutually. That guy didn’t like me, and I didn’t like him. I did have a problem with things because my ex told me he does not like me. But I don’t own her; I don’t own anyone. Actually, anyone can do anything in their life.
So, one fine day, I got a video message. It was them doing the deeds. I was shocked and broken and didn’t understand a thing. I tried to gather courage and be rational. She came back and was trying to talk to me. Then I told her I wanted to break up. She asked me why, and I said I was out of love. She started crying and begging, saying that she loves me. Then she started accusing me and some of my other female friends, implying something was going on. She said, "You used to love me and now want to throw me out. Where would I go? I came here from India for you," and all that stuff. I tried to control myself, but then I gave in and showed her the video. Then she was like, "I am sorry, I love you a lot. You are my life; I want to marry you. He made me drunk and took advantage of me. Please forgive me." At that point, I firmly decided this was it. I told her she could stay till she found accommodation, then I went to my friend's home and stayed there for a few days. But she kept pursuing me. I canceled the lease and changed my house; still, she did the same thing. During this whole ordeal, I had to change my house twice and delete my Instagram, and finally, now I am free.
I don’t know why all this happened. I don’t know what else I could have done so that they didn’t do that to me. Maybe I was not a good partner. There could be any other reasons. But I don’t hold any grudges against them. I wish wherever they are, they are happy.
These experiences were very important for me; they made me who I am today. I don't hold anything against anyone. These are just two instances. In my life, I have met so many amazing women and am friends with them too.
What’s next? I am kinda hopeful that I will find love. But Thik hai, nahi mila to mami Jo karegi Accha hi karegi. But whoever I have in my life, I will look for two qualities in them, no matter how they look or other things: loyalty and the ability to stand for what they believe in. If they leave, they should leave being brave and open about it. I don’t care about other things like distance, looks, status, or whatever else.
TL;DR: I've had a few serious relationships, but two major ones stood out. The first was with my childhood love who suddenly got married to someone else without any closure for me. The second was with someone who moved to North America for me, but she cheated on me with a mutual friend. After discovering this, I ended the relationship and had to move houses and delete social media to get away from her. These experiences were tough but important, shaping who I am today.
submitted by Chahiye-Thoda-Pyaar to Indiangirlsontinder [link] [comments]
I know this sub is for Tinder or dating apps, and my life stories may not have a place here, but I have been following this sub for a long time. So, I wanted to share with you guys. I don’t think I was wrong, but let’s see your perspective too.
I have been a good academically and a decent person. I met so many good women in my life, too, whom I dated casually and had a few serious relationships. Except for two times, I exited those serious relationships very early because I didn’t feel anything, so we parted ways on good terms. But do baar mujhe pyaar hua. I will tell you about them only.
1.This is my first love and someone I have known since my childhood. She was the daughter of a relative (I mean my bua’s relative, actually). She used to study at my school too. In high school, she chased me for a year, and finally, I gave in. We started dating; it was my first love, and I was happy. Kasme, waade, sapne bohot dekhe. I was a sort of grounded person; I live in the present and enjoy it thoroughly, but she was futuristic with lots of promises and future dreams. "I will have your kids, we will travel the world," blah blah. I did everything to keep her happy. I used to cook for her, I used to write poems for her, we used to go on dates often, and we traveled. But one fine day, I got an invitation to a wedding. Guess what? It was her wedding. I had so many questions: why, how, when? But I got no closure. I never asked for it. I went to the wedding because it was a family thing, and yeah, I never looked back (this was my longest relationship).
2.After a few years and meeting so many people, I fell in love again. To be honest, this time we fell for each other during the initial conversations. Again, there were dreams, sapne, waade. She moved to North America for me, and we moved together into a single house. By this time, I had become a pro at cooking, so I used to go to study, then the office, then back home to cook something delicious for us. I can cook any cuisine irrespective of the continent or country. Till now, I have learned many other skills like piano and guitar, so I used to sing for her, play for her, and we used to dance together. Everything was good; we had mutual friends, and we knew a guy mutually. That guy didn’t like me, and I didn’t like him. I did have a problem with things because my ex told me he does not like me. But I don’t own her; I don’t own anyone. Actually, anyone can do anything in their life.
So, one fine day, I got a video message. It was them doing the deeds. I was shocked and broken and didn’t understand a thing. I tried to gather courage and be rational. She came back and was trying to talk to me. Then I told her I wanted to break up. She asked me why, and I said I was out of love. She started crying and begging, saying that she loves me. Then she started accusing me and some of my other female friends, implying something was going on. She said, "You used to love me and now want to throw me out. Where would I go? I came here from India for you," and all that stuff. I tried to control myself, but then I gave in and showed her the video. Then she was like, "I am sorry, I love you a lot. You are my life; I want to marry you. He made me drunk and took advantage of me. Please forgive me." At that point, I firmly decided this was it. I told her she could stay till she found accommodation, then I went to my friend's home and stayed there for a few days. But she kept pursuing me. I canceled the lease and changed my house; still, she did the same thing. During this whole ordeal, I had to change my house twice and delete my Instagram, and finally, now I am free.
I don’t know why all this happened. I don’t know what else I could have done so that they didn’t do that to me. Maybe I was not a good partner. There could be any other reasons. But I don’t hold any grudges against them. I wish wherever they are, they are happy.
These experiences were very important for me; they made me who I am today. I don't hold anything against anyone. These are just two instances. In my life, I have met so many amazing women and am friends with them too.
What’s next? I am kinda hopeful that I will find love. But Thik hai, nahi mila to mami Jo karegi Accha hi karegi. But whoever I have in my life, I will look for two qualities in them, no matter how they look or other things: loyalty and the ability to stand for what they believe in. If they leave, they should leave being brave and open about it. I don’t care about other things like distance, looks, status, or whatever else.
TL;DR: I've had a few serious relationships, but two major ones stood out. The first was with my childhood love who suddenly got married to someone else without any closure for me. The second was with someone who moved to North America for me, but she cheated on me with a mutual friend. After discovering this, I ended the relationship and had to move houses and delete social media to get away from her. These experiences were tough but important, shaping who I am today.
2024.05.17 04:06 St_Augustine_Discord Live Music and Events Friday May 17th
Live Music
- Joshua "Tennessee" Worthy, Mill Top Tavern, 12:00 pm – 4:00 pm
- Cliff Dorsey, Pierre's Pub, 1:00 pm – 5:00 pm
- Mike Cook, Backyard Island Cafe at Meehan's, 1:00 pm – 5:00 pm
- ZaZa Flamenca, Bin 39 Wine Bar, 1:00 pm – 4:00 pm
- Mark Evans, Fish House & Oyster Co., 5:00 pm – 9:00 pm
- Sue Seymour Westcott, The Tides Oyster Co. & Grill, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
- David Watt Besley, The Tides Oyster Co. & Grill, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
- House Cats, Marina Munch, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
- Dewey Via, Backyard Island Cafe at Meehan's, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
- Aaron Esposito, Embassy Suites by Hilton, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
- Ace Winn, DJ's Clam Shack, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
- Claire Vandiver, Guy Harvey Resort, 6:00 pm – 9:00 pm
- Bret Blackshear, Crabby's Beachside, 6:00 pm – 9:00 pm
- Wes Register, Mellow Mushroom — St. Johns, 6:00 pm – 9:00 pm
- Christian Powers, Mellow Mushroom — Anastasia Island, 6:00 pm – 9:00 pm
- King Eddie and the Pili Pili, The Cellar Upstairs Wine Bar & Restaurant, 6:00 pm – 10:00 pm
- Walt Kulwicki, Oasis Deck & Restaurant, 6:00 pm – 9:30 pm
- Duffy Bishop Band, Fuzion 904 Eatery, 6:00 pm – 9:00 pm
- Green With Envy, Pierre's Pub, 6:00 pm – 10:00 pm
- Allen Arena, Hurricane Patty's Bar and Grill, 6:00 pm – 9:30 pm
- One Good Ring, 7:00 pm – 10:00 pm
- ZaZa Flamenca, River & Fort, 7:00 pm – 10:00 pm
- Dave's Not Here or Jerry's Other Hand, A1A Ale Works, 8:00 pm – 12:00 am
- Kyra Livingston, Meehan's Irish Pub & Seafood House, 8:00 pm – 12:00 am
- Vegas Gray, Tradewinds Lounge, 9:00 pm – 1:00 am
- Alan Dalton and Terry Campbell, Mill Top Tavern, , 9:00 pm – 12:00 am
First Coast Opera: The Stranger's Tale
- First Coast Opera and the Romanza Festivale present a free performance of The Stranger's Tale, on Friday, May 17, 2024, at noon, at the Ancient City Baptist Church.
- Funded in part by the Romanza Festivale of the Arts and by the National Endowment for the Arts, this opera premiered in 2005 with an original libretto by Nelson Sheeley. First Coast Opera's Artistic Director, Curtis Tucker, wrote additional music for the production.
- escribed as a "story of faith and hope," and written as a companion piece to Stravinsky's L'historie du soldat (A Soldier's Tail,) The Stranger's Tale focuses on modern homelessness and its impact on the unhoused and their communities. Using drama and music, set in a park near a park bench, the entire piece is centered on an unnamed man who is experiencing homelessness.
- At the 2005 premiere, reviewers said that the writing was sincere, the music accessible, and that it was a hit with the audience.
- Admission: Free
- When: Friday, May 17, 2024 at noon.
- Where: Ancient City Baptist Church, 27 Sevilla Street, St. Augustine, Florida.
- First Coast Opera will accept donations at this event to benefit the Homeless Coalition of St. Johns County.
- This event is part of the Romanza Festivale of Music and the Arts, an annual festival of two weeks of historical, cultural, and creative events celebrating all things St. Augustine. From May 3 -19, the nation's oldest city will be jam-packed with music and dance concerts, living history events and historical tours, live theater, and art exhibits.
Romanza Festivale: Author Visit with Elizabeth Randall
- Elizabeth Randall, freelance writer, and author of six non-fiction books and one mystery, will visit with fans and writers at the Voorhees Mission building at St. Cyprians Episcopal Church on Friday, May 17, 2024, from 3:00 to 4:00 p.m. This event, presented by Romanza Festivale, will include wine, cheese, and conversation.
- A retired English teacher, Ms. Randall is an adjunct instructor in English composition at Seminole State College in Sanford. Two of Ms. Randall's non-fiction books feature events in St. Augustine. At this event, Ms. Randall will focus on Murder in St. Augustine, the Mysterious Death of Athalia Ponsell Lindsley. This murder, in 1974, is still discussed and debated among St. Augustine residents.
- Admission: Free.When: Friday, May 17, 2024, from 3:00 to 4:00 p.m.
- Where: In the Voorhees Mission House (on the grounds of St. Cyprians Episcopal Church) at 130 Martin Luther King Avenue, St. Augustine, Florida 32084.
- This event is part of the Romanza Festivale of Music and the Arts, an annual festival of two weeks of historical, cultural, and creative events celebrating all things St. Augustine. From May 3 -19, the nation's oldest city will be jam-packed with music and dance concerts, living history events and historical tours, live theater, and art exhibits.
Before Juneteenth: Emancipations in Florida
- In 1865, 11 days after the end of the Civil War, two years after President Abraham Lincoln's Proclamation, emancipation * was proclaimed in Florida. On Friday, May 17, 2024, from 3:00 to 4:30 p.m., the Lincolnville Museum and Cultural Heritage Center (LMCHC) hosts an event to explain and discuss emancipation in Florida.
- The afternoon will begin with a short documentary, Before Juneteenth: Emancipations in Florida. This documentary is being presented in several Florida communities this season, and Regina Gayle Phillips, LMCHC's executive director is featured in the film. There will be a virtual question and answer session after the viewing with Dr. Tameka Hobbs, Charlene Farrington, Dinizulu Gene Tinnie, and Brittany Flowers.
- Dr. Hobbs, from Fort Lauderdale, is a historian, educator, and activist
- Ms. Farringtion is the museum director of the Spady Cultural Heritage Museum in Delray Beach
- Mr. Tinnie, of Miami, is an artist, educator, and activist
- Brittany Flowers is a filmmaker.
- Admission: $10.00 per person. When: Friday, May 17, 2024, from 3:00 to 4:30 p.m.
- Where: Upstairs, at the Lincolnville Museum and Cultural Heritage Center, 102 Martin Luther King Avenue, St. Augustine, Florida 32084.
- Free parking is available in the front and back of the building and paid parking is available at a lot across Martin Luther King Avenue. The entrance to the second-floor room is off Pomar Street. There is an elevator.
St. Augustine Concert Band Season Finale
- The St. Augustine Concert Band will perform their season finale concert from 7:30 to 9:00 p.m. Friday, May 17, 2024, in the Center of the Arts at R.J. Murray Middle School.
- This season finale concert, "Imagination," will feature works from modern-day prominent composers. Composers Brian Balmages, Dakota Peterson, Todd Salter, and others have all written thought-provoking, challenging, and moving compositions. * The concert will take the audience on a journey of imagination, allowing them to experience the power and emotion in each work.
- First established in the early 1900s with a small military-style band of some 16 members, the acclaimed St. Augustine Concert Band now features about 70 performers, from amateurs to students and semi-professionals, all from the surrounding area.
- Admission: Tickets are $20.00 for adults and $5.00 for students with ID. Children under age 12 are free.When: 7:30 to 9:00 p.m. Friday, May 17, 2024
- Where: R.J. Murray Middle School: Center of the Arts, 150 North Holmes Boulevard, St. Augustine, Florida 32092
- This event is part of the Romanza Festivale of Music and the Arts, an annual festival consisting of two weeks of historical, cultural, and creative events celebrating all things St. Augustine. From May 4 through May 19, 2024, the nation's oldest city will be jam-packed with music and dance concerts, living history events and historical tours, live theater, and art exhibits.
Megan Moroney at The Amp
- The St. Augustine Amphitheatre welcomes Megan Moroney on Friday, May 17, 2024, at 7:30 p.m. Doors open at 6:00 p.m.
- Hailing from Georgia, country music artist Megan Moroney is steadily climbing the industry ladder. "Tennessee Orange" earned her a prestigious award at the Country Music Television Awards. "I'm Not Pretty" achieved notable success, reaching the top 40 on the Billboard chart while capturing the hearts of fans and country music enthusiasts.
- Acknowledged by Rolling Stone for her natural talent, Megan consistently shares her music across multiple streaming platforms.
- Admission: Ticket prices range from $29.50 to $54.50. Tickets can be purchased online or at the St. Augustine Amphitheatre Box Office, which is open on Thursdays and Fridays from 10:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. and on Saturdays from 8:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m.
- When: Friday, May 17, 2024, at 7:30 p.m. Doors open at 6:00 p.m.
- Where: St. Augustine Amphitheatre is located at 1340 A1A South in St. Augustine, Florida 32080.
- Parking Information: The Amp St. Augustine is located on Anastasia Island next to Anastasia State Park. Limited paid parking is available in The Amp's Main Lot, but only with advance purchase of a Premium Parking ticket. Free satellite parking areas are located within one mile of the Amphitheatre, at R.B. Hunt Elementary and at Anastasia State Park (see map below).
- Shuttle Information: The St. Augustine Amphitheatre shuttle system begins its run 45 minutes before show time. The shuttle will pick up event patrons at four designated shuttle stops: the R.B. Hunt Elementary School Soccer Field, the west entrance of the Anastasia State Park Main Parking Lot, the Loop at the Anastasia State Park, and the entrance of the St. Augustine Amphitheatre. To see the full shuttle route, please see the map below.
- Shuttles will run continuously until approximately 45 minutes after the scheduled start time of a concert. For anyone wanting to leave before the end of a show, shuttles will begin taking people back to the satellite parking areas one hour before the event is over. The driver will not depart The Amp until the shuttle is more than 50% full.
Romanza Festivale: Con Brio
- The Romanza Festivale presents the Con Brio String Quartet on Friday, May 17, 2024, at 7:30 p.m. This internationally acclaimed string quartet will perform in a free concert at the First United Methodist Church on King Street.
- The four talented performers, Valentin Mansurov and Marina Lenau on violin, David Pedraza on viola, and Aziz Sapaev on cello, are all based in Southeast Florida. Members of the quartet are from Russia, Uzbekistan, Mexico, and Ukraine, each has received competitive awards and scholarships, and each performs in several of the area's music ensembles.
- "Con Brio" means "with panache," and it is with panache that this talented and multicultural quartet brings their skills, energy, and worldliness to every concert. One of the headliner acts for 2024, the concert on May 17th will include works from great composers.
- Admission: Free
- When: Friday, May 17, 2024, from 7:30 to 9:00 p.m.
- Where: First United Methodist Church, 118 King Street, St. Augustine 32084
- A Romanza Festivale 2024 event.
- This event is part of the Romanza Festivale of Music and the Arts, an annual festival consisting of two weeks of historical, cultural, and creative events celebrating all things St. Augustine. From May 3 -19, 2024 the nation's oldest city will be jam-packed with music and dance concerts, living history events and historical tours, live theater, and art exhibits.
Dustin Sims at Cafe Eleven
- Café Eleven welcomes Dustin Sims on Friday, May 17, 2024, at 8:00 p.m. Doors open at 7:00 p.m.
- With a massive following and a knack for humor, comedian Dustin Sims continues to captivate audiences unapologetically. Originating from Oxford, Alabama, Sims swiftly became a beloved figure, renowned for his comedic sketches that chronicle his eccentric escapades and misadventures.
- Among his standout sketches are "Talkin' to Myself," "Wives Love to Be Right," "Best Funeral," and "My Kids Don't Do Mornings."
- Admission: VIP Tickets cost $45.00 if purchased in advance and $50.00 on the day of the show. General seating tickets cost $32.00 in advance and $35.00 on the day of the show. Purchase tickets in advance online or purchase them at Café Eleven on the day of the show.
- When: Friday, May 17, 2024, at 8:00 p.m. Doors open at 7:00 p.m.
- Where: Café Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd, St. Augustine, Florida 32080. On the corner of A1A and 11th Street, one block from St. Augustine Beach.
Sampoorna Hatha Yoga and Japa Meditation at Essential Energy Spa
- Every Friday, starting March15th
- Essential Energy Spa
- 3440 U.S. 1 S, Suite 202
- St. Augustine, FL 32086
- 10 am - 11 am
- Admission: $25
2025 Pin Up Paws Calendar Contest
- May 17 @ 12:00 am - 11:59 pm
- It’s that time of year! The St. Augustine Humane Society Annual Contest for the 2025 Pin Up Paws Calendar begins at 8:00am on May 1, 2024. The “Sweet Things” themed calendar will showcase the winning pets in all their adorableness.
- Submit a photo of your pet and start rooting for votes, each vote worth $1.00. Voting is May 1, 2024 at 8:00am through Saturday, July 13, 2024 at 8:00pm. And, you can vote as many times and for as many pets as you wish!
- The Pet with the most votes becomes the cover pet for the 2025 Sweet Things calendar. The next twelve pets with the next highest amount of votes will be a monthly pin up pet. All pets will enjoy a professional photo shoot with award-winning photographer Addison Fitzgerald.
- Prizes: *First-Place pet (along with being on the cover) also receives a $100.00 gift certificate to the Columbia Restaurant, two tickets to the Pin Up Paws Party, and two copies of the calendar. *Second-place winners receive a $50.00 Columbia Restaurant Gift
- Certificate and two calendars. *Twelve runners-up will be featured with their submission photos and a description. *The top 80 pet fundraisers will have a small photo on a collage page.
- The 2025 calendar will be revealed at the Pin Up Paws Party on Thursday, October 24, 2024 at The White Room.
- Date: May 17
- Time: 12:00 am - 11:59 pm
Written out urls here tinyurl.com/yjkw32kd
For future events please visit the Discord.
https://discord.gg/NG4eZSWAgR2024.05.17 04:06 St_Augustine_Discord Live Music and Events Friday May 17th
Live Music
- Joshua "Tennessee" Worthy, Mill Top Tavern, 12:00 pm – 4:00 pm
- Cliff Dorsey, Pierre's Pub, 1:00 pm – 5:00 pm
- Mike Cook, Backyard Island Cafe at Meehan's, 1:00 pm – 5:00 pm
- ZaZa Flamenca, Bin 39 Wine Bar, 1:00 pm – 4:00 pm
- Mark Evans, Fish House & Oyster Co., 5:00 pm – 9:00 pm
- Sue Seymour Westcott, The Tides Oyster Co. & Grill, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
- David Watt Besley, The Tides Oyster Co. & Grill, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
- House Cats, Marina Munch, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
- Dewey Via, Backyard Island Cafe at Meehan's, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
- Aaron Esposito, Embassy Suites by Hilton, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
- Ace Winn, DJ's Clam Shack, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
- Claire Vandiver, Guy Harvey Resort, 6:00 pm – 9:00 pm
- Bret Blackshear, Crabby's Beachside, 6:00 pm – 9:00 pm
- Wes Register, Mellow Mushroom — St. Johns, 6:00 pm – 9:00 pm
- Christian Powers, Mellow Mushroom — Anastasia Island, 6:00 pm – 9:00 pm
- King Eddie and the Pili Pili, The Cellar Upstairs Wine Bar & Restaurant, 6:00 pm – 10:00 pm
- Walt Kulwicki, Oasis Deck & Restaurant, 6:00 pm – 9:30 pm
- Duffy Bishop Band, Fuzion 904 Eatery, 6:00 pm – 9:00 pm
- Green With Envy, Pierre's Pub, 6:00 pm – 10:00 pm
- Allen Arena, Hurricane Patty's Bar and Grill, 6:00 pm – 9:30 pm
- One Good Ring, 7:00 pm – 10:00 pm
- ZaZa Flamenca, River & Fort, 7:00 pm – 10:00 pm
- Dave's Not Here or Jerry's Other Hand, A1A Ale Works, 8:00 pm – 12:00 am
- Kyra Livingston, Meehan's Irish Pub & Seafood House, 8:00 pm – 12:00 am
- Vegas Gray, Tradewinds Lounge, 9:00 pm – 1:00 am
- Alan Dalton and Terry Campbell, Mill Top Tavern, , 9:00 pm – 12:00 am
First Coast Opera: The Stranger's Tale
- First Coast Opera and the Romanza Festivale present a free performance of The Stranger's Tale, on Friday, May 17, 2024, at noon, at the Ancient City Baptist Church.
- Funded in part by the Romanza Festivale of the Arts and by the National Endowment for the Arts, this opera premiered in 2005 with an original libretto by Nelson Sheeley. First Coast Opera's Artistic Director, Curtis Tucker, wrote additional music for the production.
- escribed as a "story of faith and hope," and written as a companion piece to Stravinsky's L'historie du soldat (A Soldier's Tail,) The Stranger's Tale focuses on modern homelessness and its impact on the unhoused and their communities. Using drama and music, set in a park near a park bench, the entire piece is centered on an unnamed man who is experiencing homelessness.
- At the 2005 premiere, reviewers said that the writing was sincere, the music accessible, and that it was a hit with the audience.
- Admission: Free
- When: Friday, May 17, 2024 at noon.
- Where: Ancient City Baptist Church, 27 Sevilla Street, St. Augustine, Florida.
- First Coast Opera will accept donations at this event to benefit the Homeless Coalition of St. Johns County.
- This event is part of the Romanza Festivale of Music and the Arts, an annual festival of two weeks of historical, cultural, and creative events celebrating all things St. Augustine. From May 3 -19, the nation's oldest city will be jam-packed with music and dance concerts, living history events and historical tours, live theater, and art exhibits.
Romanza Festivale: Author Visit with Elizabeth Randall
- Elizabeth Randall, freelance writer, and author of six non-fiction books and one mystery, will visit with fans and writers at the Voorhees Mission building at St. Cyprians Episcopal Church on Friday, May 17, 2024, from 3:00 to 4:00 p.m. This event, presented by Romanza Festivale, will include wine, cheese, and conversation.
- A retired English teacher, Ms. Randall is an adjunct instructor in English composition at Seminole State College in Sanford. Two of Ms. Randall's non-fiction books feature events in St. Augustine. At this event, Ms. Randall will focus on Murder in St. Augustine, the Mysterious Death of Athalia Ponsell Lindsley. This murder, in 1974, is still discussed and debated among St. Augustine residents.
- Admission: Free.When: Friday, May 17, 2024, from 3:00 to 4:00 p.m.
- Where: In the Voorhees Mission House (on the grounds of St. Cyprians Episcopal Church) at 130 Martin Luther King Avenue, St. Augustine, Florida 32084.
- This event is part of the Romanza Festivale of Music and the Arts, an annual festival of two weeks of historical, cultural, and creative events celebrating all things St. Augustine. From May 3 -19, the nation's oldest city will be jam-packed with music and dance concerts, living history events and historical tours, live theater, and art exhibits.
Before Juneteenth: Emancipations in Florida
- In 1865, 11 days after the end of the Civil War, two years after President Abraham Lincoln's Proclamation, emancipation * was proclaimed in Florida. On Friday, May 17, 2024, from 3:00 to 4:30 p.m., the Lincolnville Museum and Cultural Heritage Center (LMCHC) hosts an event to explain and discuss emancipation in Florida.
- The afternoon will begin with a short documentary, Before Juneteenth: Emancipations in Florida. This documentary is being presented in several Florida communities this season, and Regina Gayle Phillips, LMCHC's executive director is featured in the film. There will be a virtual question and answer session after the viewing with Dr. Tameka Hobbs, Charlene Farrington, Dinizulu Gene Tinnie, and Brittany Flowers.
- Dr. Hobbs, from Fort Lauderdale, is a historian, educator, and activist
- Ms. Farringtion is the museum director of the Spady Cultural Heritage Museum in Delray Beach
- Mr. Tinnie, of Miami, is an artist, educator, and activist
- Brittany Flowers is a filmmaker.
- Admission: $10.00 per person. When: Friday, May 17, 2024, from 3:00 to 4:30 p.m.
- Where: Upstairs, at the Lincolnville Museum and Cultural Heritage Center, 102 Martin Luther King Avenue, St. Augustine, Florida 32084.
- Free parking is available in the front and back of the building and paid parking is available at a lot across Martin Luther King Avenue. The entrance to the second-floor room is off Pomar Street. There is an elevator.
St. Augustine Concert Band Season Finale
- The St. Augustine Concert Band will perform their season finale concert from 7:30 to 9:00 p.m. Friday, May 17, 2024, in the Center of the Arts at R.J. Murray Middle School.
- This season finale concert, "Imagination," will feature works from modern-day prominent composers. Composers Brian Balmages, Dakota Peterson, Todd Salter, and others have all written thought-provoking, challenging, and moving compositions. * The concert will take the audience on a journey of imagination, allowing them to experience the power and emotion in each work.
- First established in the early 1900s with a small military-style band of some 16 members, the acclaimed St. Augustine Concert Band now features about 70 performers, from amateurs to students and semi-professionals, all from the surrounding area.
- Admission: Tickets are $20.00 for adults and $5.00 for students with ID. Children under age 12 are free.When: 7:30 to 9:00 p.m. Friday, May 17, 2024
- Where: R.J. Murray Middle School: Center of the Arts, 150 North Holmes Boulevard, St. Augustine, Florida 32092
- This event is part of the Romanza Festivale of Music and the Arts, an annual festival consisting of two weeks of historical, cultural, and creative events celebrating all things St. Augustine. From May 4 through May 19, 2024, the nation's oldest city will be jam-packed with music and dance concerts, living history events and historical tours, live theater, and art exhibits.
Megan Moroney at The Amp
- The St. Augustine Amphitheatre welcomes Megan Moroney on Friday, May 17, 2024, at 7:30 p.m. Doors open at 6:00 p.m.
- Hailing from Georgia, country music artist Megan Moroney is steadily climbing the industry ladder. "Tennessee Orange" earned her a prestigious award at the Country Music Television Awards. "I'm Not Pretty" achieved notable success, reaching the top 40 on the Billboard chart while capturing the hearts of fans and country music enthusiasts.
- Acknowledged by Rolling Stone for her natural talent, Megan consistently shares her music across multiple streaming platforms.
- Admission: Ticket prices range from $29.50 to $54.50. Tickets can be purchased online or at the St. Augustine Amphitheatre Box Office, which is open on Thursdays and Fridays from 10:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. and on Saturdays from 8:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m.
- When: Friday, May 17, 2024, at 7:30 p.m. Doors open at 6:00 p.m.
- Where: St. Augustine Amphitheatre is located at 1340 A1A South in St. Augustine, Florida 32080.
- Parking Information: The Amp St. Augustine is located on Anastasia Island next to Anastasia State Park. Limited paid parking is available in The Amp's Main Lot, but only with advance purchase of a Premium Parking ticket. Free satellite parking areas are located within one mile of the Amphitheatre, at R.B. Hunt Elementary and at Anastasia State Park (see map below).
- Shuttle Information: The St. Augustine Amphitheatre shuttle system begins its run 45 minutes before show time. The shuttle will pick up event patrons at four designated shuttle stops: the R.B. Hunt Elementary School Soccer Field, the west entrance of the Anastasia State Park Main Parking Lot, the Loop at the Anastasia State Park, and the entrance of the St. Augustine Amphitheatre. To see the full shuttle route, please see the map below.
- Shuttles will run continuously until approximately 45 minutes after the scheduled start time of a concert. For anyone wanting to leave before the end of a show, shuttles will begin taking people back to the satellite parking areas one hour before the event is over. The driver will not depart The Amp until the shuttle is more than 50% full.
Romanza Festivale: Con Brio
- The Romanza Festivale presents the Con Brio String Quartet on Friday, May 17, 2024, at 7:30 p.m. This internationally acclaimed string quartet will perform in a free concert at the First United Methodist Church on King Street.
- The four talented performers, Valentin Mansurov and Marina Lenau on violin, David Pedraza on viola, and Aziz Sapaev on cello, are all based in Southeast Florida. Members of the quartet are from Russia, Uzbekistan, Mexico, and Ukraine, each has received competitive awards and scholarships, and each performs in several of the area's music ensembles.
- "Con Brio" means "with panache," and it is with panache that this talented and multicultural quartet brings their skills, energy, and worldliness to every concert. One of the headliner acts for 2024, the concert on May 17th will include works from great composers.
- Admission: Free
- When: Friday, May 17, 2024, from 7:30 to 9:00 p.m.
- Where: First United Methodist Church, 118 King Street, St. Augustine 32084
- A Romanza Festivale 2024 event.
- This event is part of the Romanza Festivale of Music and the Arts, an annual festival consisting of two weeks of historical, cultural, and creative events celebrating all things St. Augustine. From May 3 -19, 2024 the nation's oldest city will be jam-packed with music and dance concerts, living history events and historical tours, live theater, and art exhibits.
Dustin Sims at Cafe Eleven
- Café Eleven welcomes Dustin Sims on Friday, May 17, 2024, at 8:00 p.m. Doors open at 7:00 p.m.
- With a massive following and a knack for humor, comedian Dustin Sims continues to captivate audiences unapologetically. Originating from Oxford, Alabama, Sims swiftly became a beloved figure, renowned for his comedic sketches that chronicle his eccentric escapades and misadventures.
- Among his standout sketches are "Talkin' to Myself," "Wives Love to Be Right," "Best Funeral," and "My Kids Don't Do Mornings."
- Admission: VIP Tickets cost $45.00 if purchased in advance and $50.00 on the day of the show. General seating tickets cost $32.00 in advance and $35.00 on the day of the show. Purchase tickets in advance online or purchase them at Café Eleven on the day of the show.
- When: Friday, May 17, 2024, at 8:00 p.m. Doors open at 7:00 p.m.
- Where: Café Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd, St. Augustine, Florida 32080. On the corner of A1A and 11th Street, one block from St. Augustine Beach.
Sampoorna Hatha Yoga and Japa Meditation at Essential Energy Spa
- Every Friday, starting March15th
- Essential Energy Spa
- 3440 U.S. 1 S, Suite 202
- St. Augustine, FL 32086
- 10 am - 11 am
- Admission: $25
2025 Pin Up Paws Calendar Contest
- May 17 @ 12:00 am - 11:59 pm
- It’s that time of year! The St. Augustine Humane Society Annual Contest for the 2025 Pin Up Paws Calendar begins at 8:00am on May 1, 2024. The “Sweet Things” themed calendar will showcase the winning pets in all their adorableness.
- Submit a photo of your pet and start rooting for votes, each vote worth $1.00. Voting is May 1, 2024 at 8:00am through Saturday, July 13, 2024 at 8:00pm. And, you can vote as many times and for as many pets as you wish!
- The Pet with the most votes becomes the cover pet for the 2025 Sweet Things calendar. The next twelve pets with the next highest amount of votes will be a monthly pin up pet. All pets will enjoy a professional photo shoot with award-winning photographer Addison Fitzgerald.
- Prizes: *First-Place pet (along with being on the cover) also receives a $100.00 gift certificate to the Columbia Restaurant, two tickets to the Pin Up Paws Party, and two copies of the calendar. *Second-place winners receive a $50.00 Columbia Restaurant Gift
- Certificate and two calendars. *Twelve runners-up will be featured with their submission photos and a description. *The top 80 pet fundraisers will have a small photo on a collage page.
- The 2025 calendar will be revealed at the Pin Up Paws Party on Thursday, October 24, 2024 at The White Room.
- Date: May 17
- Time: 12:00 am - 11:59 pm
Written out urls here tinyurl.com/yjkw32kd
For future events please visit the Discord.
https://discord.gg/NG4eZSWAgR2024.05.16 21:57 FickleSignificance15 My 37F Husband 36M Said I Can't Fix It
I have been married for almost two years, but with my husband (36M) for over ten.
We've been through a lot together, including a very early relationship unplanned pregnancy and much later on a miscarriage. I have PTSD and chronic depression which was untreated when we met, he has ADHD. We've had issues because of my mental health, such as bed rotting and neglecting the house and low sex drive. He's been unsupportive of therapy or medication, but also told me he was proud of the progress I made due to those things. We have an elementary school and a toddler aged children together.
This past winter there was a situation that called his faithfulness into question, he claimed the incident was not censentual but I reached out to the woman before talking to him and it caused social backlash for him.
He is very private and doesn't like people he works with or encounters socially to know any details about his life. For example he doesn't want folks who aren't his direct coworkers at his job coming up and asking personal questions about me and our kids when he's not friendly with them and they don't know me at all. He's not trusting of their intentions, and I'm not very trusting either so I get it.
He goes out to bars regularly, a friend of his hosts events and it's his social outlet. A couple of days ago he came home and told me that a woman who's a regular bar goer he hadn't seen in a few months stared at him and then when he acknowledged her rattled off his full name, job and company, and possibly something about his family too? I'm not remembering precisely right now. He asked her what she was talking about, she asked him if he had lied to her, and he replied he'd never said those things to her. His friend started to say he was an accountant, and he hushed him to further support that line through secrecy.
My husband was really creeped out that this woman knew his full name and where he works, and pretty shaken by it. He made a comment that we'd need to move and he'd need to get a different job. We live in a smaller city where people act like it's a small town, and are nosy about each other's business and lives. I totally empathized with him about how creepy and overstepping this whole thing was but it doesn't surprise from what I know of people around here.
The following morning he told me to help him because he was spiraling about the whole thing, I didn't really know what to say. Partially because I'm more likely to spiral myself then have the skills to talk someone else down, partially because I don't think anonymity is truly possible in a small town in the online age, and partially because I don't feel I can ask him for emotional support about anything and I'm burnt out on the whole family relying on me that way when I have no one to turn to. I went over the scenario again and reaffirmed my empathy but I didn't really know what else to add. I asked him what I could do for him. He didn't know. After that he left briefly, then went out into the woods with an ax to vent some frustration presumably, and left again and returned with some beer and drank a few.
He later told me not to touch him when I tried to be physically reassuring. I respected the request and gave him space. I told our oldest to give him space so she wouldn't tackle him not knowing his mood and have him errupt at her, and he kind of isolated for the day. He helped me with a few things with the kids and when I came in to thank him he said they're his kids too and again asked me not to touch him. He asked him a few times throughout the day how or if I could help him. He slept on the couch that evening, and the following day told me he wasn't doing well but didn't want to talk. And gave him space again and tried to get him to eat dinner which he refused, I slept on the couch to give him space that night.
This morning he got up and dressed and sat staring for a minute before throwing a couple full beer cans into the next room and ranting at me. He told me he felt like he was in the house with the enemy, blamed me for letting these stalkers in the back door, and giving them a footing during the infidelity incident. He said he can't go out and see his friends anymore. He asked me if I was going to get a job paying what he makes, and threw me staying home with the kids in my face saying he's asked me to work before which isn't exactly true though I have worked when it's been needed. He told me he thought about ending things and the kids were the only thing keeping him in the home and on this earth. He told me I couldn't fix it.
He left for work and I just feel numb and confused. I'm by no means perfect, and I could never say I'm a perfect wife, but I don't understand how all the blame for all this is on me. I don't understand how I'm responsible for his social issues when I'm not the one who kissed someone else, and I didn't tell this woman anything.
I don't know what I can do. I don't know if him saying I can't fix it means our marriage is over. Obviously I don't work, or have much recent job experience, and I don't have a car or childcare to go start and get myself out of this situation. I'm socially isolated, no friends or family, so I don't have anywhere I can go stay for a while. Any reassurance or advice would be appreciated, obviously there's a lot of detail over the years of a relationship I can't include in one post, and I only have my own perspective. What do I do? I feel like I've completely failed as a wife and mother.
TL;DR My husband had some rando tell him they knew personal information about him and after stewing a couple days he blew up at me and effectively told me it's my fault and I can't fix it.
submitted by FickleSignificance15 to relationships [link] [comments]
We've been through a lot together, including a very early relationship unplanned pregnancy and much later on a miscarriage. I have PTSD and chronic depression which was untreated when we met, he has ADHD. We've had issues because of my mental health, such as bed rotting and neglecting the house and low sex drive. He's been unsupportive of therapy or medication, but also told me he was proud of the progress I made due to those things. We have an elementary school and a toddler aged children together.
This past winter there was a situation that called his faithfulness into question, he claimed the incident was not censentual but I reached out to the woman before talking to him and it caused social backlash for him.
He is very private and doesn't like people he works with or encounters socially to know any details about his life. For example he doesn't want folks who aren't his direct coworkers at his job coming up and asking personal questions about me and our kids when he's not friendly with them and they don't know me at all. He's not trusting of their intentions, and I'm not very trusting either so I get it.
He goes out to bars regularly, a friend of his hosts events and it's his social outlet. A couple of days ago he came home and told me that a woman who's a regular bar goer he hadn't seen in a few months stared at him and then when he acknowledged her rattled off his full name, job and company, and possibly something about his family too? I'm not remembering precisely right now. He asked her what she was talking about, she asked him if he had lied to her, and he replied he'd never said those things to her. His friend started to say he was an accountant, and he hushed him to further support that line through secrecy.
My husband was really creeped out that this woman knew his full name and where he works, and pretty shaken by it. He made a comment that we'd need to move and he'd need to get a different job. We live in a smaller city where people act like it's a small town, and are nosy about each other's business and lives. I totally empathized with him about how creepy and overstepping this whole thing was but it doesn't surprise from what I know of people around here.
The following morning he told me to help him because he was spiraling about the whole thing, I didn't really know what to say. Partially because I'm more likely to spiral myself then have the skills to talk someone else down, partially because I don't think anonymity is truly possible in a small town in the online age, and partially because I don't feel I can ask him for emotional support about anything and I'm burnt out on the whole family relying on me that way when I have no one to turn to. I went over the scenario again and reaffirmed my empathy but I didn't really know what else to add. I asked him what I could do for him. He didn't know. After that he left briefly, then went out into the woods with an ax to vent some frustration presumably, and left again and returned with some beer and drank a few.
He later told me not to touch him when I tried to be physically reassuring. I respected the request and gave him space. I told our oldest to give him space so she wouldn't tackle him not knowing his mood and have him errupt at her, and he kind of isolated for the day. He helped me with a few things with the kids and when I came in to thank him he said they're his kids too and again asked me not to touch him. He asked him a few times throughout the day how or if I could help him. He slept on the couch that evening, and the following day told me he wasn't doing well but didn't want to talk. And gave him space again and tried to get him to eat dinner which he refused, I slept on the couch to give him space that night.
This morning he got up and dressed and sat staring for a minute before throwing a couple full beer cans into the next room and ranting at me. He told me he felt like he was in the house with the enemy, blamed me for letting these stalkers in the back door, and giving them a footing during the infidelity incident. He said he can't go out and see his friends anymore. He asked me if I was going to get a job paying what he makes, and threw me staying home with the kids in my face saying he's asked me to work before which isn't exactly true though I have worked when it's been needed. He told me he thought about ending things and the kids were the only thing keeping him in the home and on this earth. He told me I couldn't fix it.
He left for work and I just feel numb and confused. I'm by no means perfect, and I could never say I'm a perfect wife, but I don't understand how all the blame for all this is on me. I don't understand how I'm responsible for his social issues when I'm not the one who kissed someone else, and I didn't tell this woman anything.
I don't know what I can do. I don't know if him saying I can't fix it means our marriage is over. Obviously I don't work, or have much recent job experience, and I don't have a car or childcare to go start and get myself out of this situation. I'm socially isolated, no friends or family, so I don't have anywhere I can go stay for a while. Any reassurance or advice would be appreciated, obviously there's a lot of detail over the years of a relationship I can't include in one post, and I only have my own perspective. What do I do? I feel like I've completely failed as a wife and mother.
TL;DR My husband had some rando tell him they knew personal information about him and after stewing a couple days he blew up at me and effectively told me it's my fault and I can't fix it.
2024.05.16 16:33 clearliquidclearjar TALLAHASSEE WEEKLY EVENTS, 5/16 – 5/22
Y’all, I’m really not sure what’s still around. This list is somewhat edited, but please still make sure to check on all the regular events before you make big plans – I may have missed something.
Events are listed by the day. Events that happen every week appear first, one time stuff after that. If you have anything you’d like people to know about, comment here or message me and I’ll add it in. If you’d like further info about any of the events, look it up! I usually don’t have any extra to add.
Large Scale, Ongoing, and Multi-Day Events
Guided Paddling Outings all around the area: https://www.facebook.com/hsmithoutdoors
Tallahassee Film Society Showings: https://www.tallahasseefilms.com/tickets/
Book Clubs for all tastes: https://www.facebook.com/midtownreadeevents
Live Theater:
submitted by clearliquidclearjar to Tallahassee [link] [comments]
Events are listed by the day. Events that happen every week appear first, one time stuff after that. If you have anything you’d like people to know about, comment here or message me and I’ll add it in. If you’d like further info about any of the events, look it up! I usually don’t have any extra to add.
Large Scale, Ongoing, and Multi-Day Events
Guided Paddling Outings all around the area: https://www.facebook.com/hsmithoutdoors
Tallahassee Film Society Showings: https://www.tallahasseefilms.com/tickets/
Book Clubs for all tastes: https://www.facebook.com/midtownreadeevents
Live Theater:
- Making Light Productions: https://www.makinglightproductions.org/
- Theatre Tallahassee: https://theatretallahassee.org/
- Mickee Faust Club: https://www.mickeefaust.com/
- Monticello Opera House: https://www.monticellooperahouse.org/
- FSU School of Theatre: https://theatre.fsu.edu/productions/
- Young Actors Theatre: https://www.youngactorstheatre.com/
- Quincy Music Theatre: https://quincymusictheatre.com/
- Tallahassee Hispanic Theater: https://tallahasseehispanictheater.wordpress.com/
- Lake Ella Grower's Market: Wednesday and Saturday, 11am-2pm. You can always find organic vendors, and foragers: The Holistic Cannabis Community, Artzi Farms, Hickory Nut Gifts, and others. Including Pita Queen! Farmer's Market Nutrition Program Coupons gladly accepted!
- Tallahassee Downtown Market: Saturdays, 10am-2pm, Park Ave Parks. Vendors display their arts and fine crafts, jewelry, handmade soap, pottery, Fresh from Florida produce, hand-raised beef and pork, fresh baked bread, jams and jellies, and honey. Live music from different local musicians every Saturday.
- Frenchtown Heritage Market: 524 N MLK Jr Blvd. Third Saturday of the month 10am to 2pm. Come grow community and support your local farmers and makers, while you get your groceries for the week! Don’t forget! We match SNAP/EBT, so you DOUBLE your money to go towards locally grown fresh fruits and vegetables! If the guy with the pineapple is there, get it. This is currently only happening on the third Saturday of the month for the next few months while road work is completed.
- Tallahassee Farmers Market: 2904 Kerry Forest Pkwy, Saturdays, 8am to Noon. Come see us at Tallahassee's longest-running farmers market! We are a year-round market, featuring local farms and vendors that provide the best seasonal produce, meats, baked goods, and more. We welcome you and your whole family (leashed pets included) to come out and meet your local farmers! Ample parking is available between our lot and the shopping center lot next door (by Red Elephant). Come early for the best selection.
- The Hub at Feather Oaks: Bingo. 6pm
- Dreamland BBQ: Weekly Open Blues Jam. If you'd like to sing, please bring your own mic. 6pm
- Honest Living Vape: Chess-Master Thursdays . Beginners and experts, join us every Thursday from 6-9 for Chess-Master Thursdays. All ages. Bring your board or play ours! Tournaments coming soon! 6pm
- Lake Tribe: Trivia. 7pm
- Takko Market Square: Bingo Night. 7pm
- The Getaway Grille and Bar: Karaoke with Jared Walker. 7pm
- Amicus Brewing: Trivia. 7pm
- Smitty's Taphouse: Trivia Lab Thursdays. Teams of 6 or fewer players can compete for $30 / $20 / $10 Prizes + The Golden MacGuffin prize table! New format! Interactive smartphone answering for your comfort and safety! 6 Fun Rounds - 42 Total Questions. 7:30pm
- Studio D: Bachata Fever. We always have a bachata workshop at 8 pm before Bachata Fever. We dance afterwards to the sounds of DJ Bacharod. The class is at 8 pm and Bachata Fever will start at 930 pm. Many times people are learning in class and may feel uncomfortable social dancing while they are still learning moves. We have a welcoming environment so stay and have fun and dance with everyone. That is how we learn. 8pm/Class $5/Bachata Fever $5.
- The Sound Bar: Comedy Night. 8pm
- Finnegans Wake: Open Mic. 8:30pm
- Brass Tap in Midtown: Karaoke with DJ Rah. 9pm
- 926: Karaoke. 9pm
- Bird’s: Karaoke with Nathan. 9pm
- Fire Bettys: Slasher Bash. This week we'll be showing: "Zombeavers". Prepare for an evening of horrific hilarity with comedy narration and devilish drinking games!🍻 Hosted by local comedians. 8pm/21+
- Blue Tavern: Seep's Gumbo Nation ft. Shanice Richards. 8pm
- Blue Tavern: Happy Hour with Steve Malono. 5pm
- Lake Tribe Brewing: Flannel Fridays with Live Music. 6pm
- Hobbit West: Friday Night Dart Tournament. Anyone can Enter! Sign ups at 7:30, Darts fly at 8:00/$10 entry fee
- Ouzts Too: Karaoke with DJ Nathan. Best karaoke DJ in town. 8pm
- Just One More: Karaoke with DJ Rah. 9pm-11pm/21+
- 926: The Hot Friday Night Party and Drag Show. 9pm/$5/18+
- The Hub at Feather Oaks: Rachel Hillman. 5:30pm
- Lake Tribe: Ben Wentworth. 5:30pm
- Amicus Brewing: The Tanglers. 6pm
- The Getaway Grille and Bar: One Year Anniversary Celebration Featuring Queen of Hearts Band. 6pm
- Southwood Golf Club: The Rhythm Remedy. 6:30pm
- Goodwood: The Big Bash Havana Nights presented by Brent Hartsfield. The Big Bash is Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Big Bend's signature fundraising gala of the year and directly supports the agency's youth mentoring programs. Guests will enjoy Cuban Cuisine, champagne mojitos, cigars, flights, classic cars, photo opportunities, silent auction vacation packages, LIVE music and dancing, and an exciting LIVE salsa dance performance from 12 community volunteers! The event is a tremendous networking opportunity for Tallahassee's top business professionals, local community leaders and philanthropists to come together to enjoy an evening to celebrate the achievements of Big Brothers Big Sisters. 7pm
- Blue Tavern: Wil Fulkerson Jazz Night. 8pm
- House of Music: Belly Dancing: Journey From The Nile To The Tigris. Habibi, join us on a groovy carpet ride across ancient deserts: Disco Iskandar embarks on a voyage of belly dance, folklore, cinema, and history in a theatrical dance production, JOURNEY FROM THE NILE TO THE TIGRIS. Highlighting the prominence of belly dance in films of the Middle East from the 1940s through the 1970s, we present a live showcase exhibiting dances from Egypt, Turkey, Iraq, and beyond. It goes so much deeper than you think. Hookahs! Swords! Rhinestones, literally everywhere! This cross section of entertainment and education is the culmination of years of obsessive learning, two national tours, and travels to Egypt & Lebanon. JOURNEY FROM THE NILE TO THE TIGRIS is a trip unlike any other-- where the Middle East meets Vegas. This show’s cast is Gabi Corazon, Gia Bee, Liz Azi, Olya Clark, Vania Ojeda, director Veronica Lynn, and special guest star Omaris! 8pm/$15/21+
- The Sound Bar: The Old Schoolers. 8pm
- Vino Beano: Your Scumbag Neighbors. 8pm
- The Bark: Medians, No Yeah, Sleep John B, and Cloud Storage. 8pm
- Brinkley Glen Park: Invasive Plant Removal. Join Master Gardener Volunteers at this weekly invasive plant removal event. This is a great way to learn to ID our invasive plant species and how to remove them. We recommend wearing long pants and sleeves, closed-toed shoes, gloves, a hat and mosquito spray. Bring gardening tools such as hand clippers, loppers, trowels, etc. if you have them. We are removing coral ardisia bushes and berries, nandina, tung trees, Tradescantia flumenensis, cat's claw vine, winged yam, Japanese climbing fern, skunkvine and more. Directions: The best way to get there is to take Meridian Rd to Waverly Rd, go to the next intersection and turn left onto Abbotsford Way, then turn left at the next road called Woodside Dr. At the stop sign turn left onto Lothian. Lothian ends in a cul-de-sac and there is a sign that says Brinkley Glen Park. 8:30am-11:30am
- Gamescape: Saturday Gaming. Gamescape has relocated from Railroad Square to the Huntington Oaks Plaza (Suite 302, next to the Library) at N Monroe St and Fred George Rd. Open gaming tables are available. Noon-6pm
- Duke’s and Dottie’s: Line Dancing Plus Lessons. 7pm/21+
- Bird’s Oyster Shack: Laughterday Night Fever. * Join us every Saturday at Bird's Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack for a free comedy show!* 8:30pm
- 926: Latin Night. Dance to the irresistible beats of Zeus and prepare to be dazzled by a spectacular drag show at midnight. It's more than a party, it's an experience. 9:30pm/$10 21+, $15 under 21
- Crawfordville: Big Bend Biodiversity Tour. See why our area is so ecologically incredible! Get up close and personal with creatures and plants galore. Join expert guide and outdoor educator, Ryan Means for this limited opportunity to tour the Apalachicola Lowlands Preserve. The day-long trip stops at points along the way to the privately-owned preserve nestled deep in the Apalachicola National Forest near Sumatra, FL. Explore the longleaf pine ecosystem, pitcher plant bogs, ephemeral wetlands, and blackwater streams - home to some threatened and endangered species. Learn what makes the Florida Panhandle one of the five richest biodiversity hotspots in North America. Perfect tour for photographers, outdoor enthusiasts and ecologists. $75 tour fee includes round-trip transportation (from 46 Kinsey Rd, Crawfordville, FL) , complimentary beverages, and supports efforts to preserve the incredible biodiversity of the Southeastern Coastal Plain. Spaces limited. Register here: https://coastalplains.networkforgood.com/events/71083-big-bend-biodiversity-tour for full details. 8am
- Dreamland BBQ: Rock Type One to None. Let's rock to find a cure for Type 1 Diabetes! The Unicorn Wranglers are back on Saturday, May 18th at Dreamland BBQ in Tallahassee, Florida for the 2024 "Rock One to None" show. This show is benefiting the Juvenile Diabetes Research Fund (JDRF) and will feature musical guests Midnight Caravan, Fallen Timber, and the Unicorn Wranglers. The show starts at 4 pm and runs until 7 pm at Dreamland BBQ in Music Alley, and is open to all ages. While the show is free, we encourage all rockers attending to donate to the cause. You can contribute at the show by visiting our donation station or by heading over to our online Unicorn Wranglers team page. Together, as one big mosh pit, we can help cure Type 1 Diabetes. 3pm
- The Hub at Feather Oaks: Ethan Kyllonen. 4pm
- Amicus Brewing: Beza Alford and Rev. Dr. Sheldon Steen. 5pm
- Lake Tribe: Flamingo Party. 6pm
- The Getaway Grille and Bar: Billy Rigsby Band. 6pm
- Vino Beano: Brett & "Dangerous" Dave. 6pm
- Salty Dawg: Hot Mess. 6:30pm
- La Tiendita: Rhys Bennett & the Gringos as Vontade. Join us for an energetic evening filled with the vibrant sounds of Latin music, Brazilian beats, and jazz rhythms. Our local band, Rhys Bennett & the Gringos, will transform into the versatile ensemble Vontade, treating you to a delightful mix of rancheras, bossa nova, and more! Whether you're a seasoned dancer or a newcomer to the dance floor, you're in for a fantastic time at one of Tallahassee's hidden gems. Immerse yourself in a night of cultural fusion and musical celebration that is sure to create lasting memories! 6:30pm
- The Sound Bar: Tillman & Taff. 7pm
- Island Wings: Midnight Caravan. 7pm
- The Bark: Saturnalia, Brass Wizard, Van Season, and Psycho Tropical. 8pm
- Fire Bettys: 80's Video Dance Party. 8pm
- Just One More: One Eyed JAK. 9pm
- Bicycle House: Sunday Ride. Ride at 10:30 AM from Bicycle House. We will ride the Cascades trail to the St Marks trail and down to Wakulla station and return, about 31 miles. Ride speed is 12 to 14 mph, with periodic regroups. Vernon Bailey is the ride leader. Vernon is a new CCC member who’s been biking for 50 years enjoys riding with small groups and weekend touring. 10am
- E Peck Greene Park (Behind the LeRoy Collins Library): Food Not Bombs Free Mealshare. We offer free vegetarian/vegan food, water, coffee, personal care & hygiene products, bus passes, and clothing when we have some available to those in need. Contact foodnotbombstally@gmail.com to find out about getting involved. Noon-2pm
- LeRoy Collins Library: Tallahassee Go Club Meetings. Come play the captivating ancient game of Go, also known as Baduk, with some friendly games and discussions. Beginners welcome. Visit https://www.tallahasseegoclub.com for more information. 1pm
- Gamescape: Pokémon League. Come learn, play, and trade with the Pokémon Trading Card Game and the Pokémon video games! We LOVE seeing new players, so come learn how to play! We play both the Trading Card Game and the Video Game casually and competitively. The store offers lots of different seating arrangements to meet our group's needs, as well as food, drinks, and Pokémon products for purchase. We are also hold regular, officially sanctioned tournaments for Pokémon Trading Card Game and Video Game Competitions! 2-4pm
- The Plant: Open Jam. All instruments, all players welcome. 4pm-9pm
- Pedro’s: Mariachi Clasico. 6pm
- Fermentation Lounge: Open Mic Night Hosted by Conor Churchill. 7pm
- Ology Powermill: Marauders Market. Noon
- The Hub at Feather Oaks: The Barber Bros. 1pm-4pm
- Goodwood: Ice Cream Social. Get ready for a spectacular day of family fun at Goodwood Museum & Gardens! Treat your taste buds to a family fun day of FREE ice cream, FREE crafts for the kids, FREE activities, and more, all on the beautiful Goodwood grounds. Family-friendly musical entertainment will be provided by The Safari Man, who will have everyone tapping their feet and dancing along to his whimsical tunes. 1pm
- Common Ground Books: Contemporary Queer Poetry Book Club: Time is a Mother. This month, we’ll be reading “Time is a Mother” by Ocean Vuong. “In this deeply intimate second poetry collection, Ocean Vuong searches for life among the aftershocks of his mother's death, embodying the paradox of sitting within grief while being determined to survive beyond it. Vivid, brave and propulsive, Vuong's poems contend with personal loss, the meaning of family, and the value of joy in a perennially fractured American spirit. The author of the critically acclaimed poetry collection Night Sky with Exit Wounds, winner of the 2016 Whiting Award, the 2017 T. S. Eliot Prize and a 2019 MacArthur fellow, Vuong writes directly to our humanity without losing sight of the current moment. Bold and prescient, and a testament to tenderness in the face of violence, Time is a Mother is a return and a forging-forth all at once.” 6pm
- Just One More: Bingo. 5pm-6:30pm
- The Getaway Grille and Bar: Margarita Monday, Open-Mic Night hosted by The Saltwater Cowboy. 5:30pm-8pm
- American Legion Hall: Cha Cha - Weekly Lessons. 6:15pm/$5
- Hangar 38: Bingo. 6:45pm
- Vino Beano: Tipsy Trivia. 7pm
- Blue Tavern: Happy Hour. 5pm
- The Getaway Grille: Tuesday Night Bikes and Trikes. 6pm
- Crafty Crab: BOOMIN' Karaoke. 7pm
- Gamescape: Hobby Night. Slay the grey together! Join your fellow gamers and turn your pile of grey miniatures into a battle ready army. Need some painting tips? Feel free to ask at hobby night. You can bring any miniature for any game to paint. 7pm
- Ology Midtown: Jazz Jam Sessions. 7pm
- Island Wings: Trivia. 7pm
- Brass Tap in Midtown: Trivia. 1st Tuesday of the month is General Knowledge with rotating themes the rest of the month. 7pm
- House of Music: Tuesday Trivia & Karaoke. 7pm
- American Legion Hall: Tallahassee Swing Band Tuesday Night Dance. 7:30pm
- Fire Bettys: Comedy Night. 8pm
- Poor Pauls: Trivia. 8pm/21+
- Blue Tavern: Bluesday Tuesday with Bill Ricci. Every Tuesday is Blues Day @ the Blue Tavern and Blues Meets Girl is a Tallahassee favorite. This perfect, intimate venue provides just what you need for both a mid-week break and authentic blues music experience. 8pm/$5
- 4th Quarter: Professor Jim's Tuesday Night Trivia. Popular for a reason! 8pm
- Argonaut Coffee: Trivia Tuesday. 8pm
- The Sound Bar: Karaoke. 8pm
- Fire Betty’s: Open Mic Comedy Night. 8pm/21+
- 926: Tacos and Trivia. 9pm
- Tallahassee Junior Museum: Basic Blacksmith Skills Program. Light your curiosity at our upcoming Basic Blacksmith Skills Program! Join our resident blacksmith, Michael Murphy, as he shares his history of being a Smitty. Participants will be able to keep the fire going, sling a hammer, and throw knives during this two hour lecture program. This is an outdoor event. Must preregister online at tallahasseemuseum.org/events. This program is free for members and regular admission price for non-members. 10am
- Sugar and Spice Tally: Game Night. Join us every Wednesday Night for community game night. Bring your own or use ours! Let me know if you need to reserve space for a large group. Free to attend! 5pm
- Goodwood: Wonderful Wednesday. 6pm/$5
- Level 8 Rooftop Lounge: Trivia. 6pm
- La Florida Coffee & Wine: Trivia Night. 6pm
- The Great Games Library: Open Game Night. 6pm/free
- American Legion Hall: Sue Boyd Country Western and More Dance Class. Session 2 - Beginner 6:30 to 7:45 pm What: East Coast Swing and Waltz. Cost: $8.00 per person. Wear comfortable shoes you can turn in. 7:45 to 8:15 - Practice dance with paid admission. 8:15 to 9:30: Intermediate - 2 Step and WCS. $8.00 per person or $13.00 for both classes. Vaccines are required. Face masks are optional. Changing partners is optional. 6:30pm
- Perry Lynn’s Smokehouse in Quincy: Wed Night Open Mic w/ Steven Ritter and Friends. 6:30pm
- Hangar 38: Trivia. 6:45pm
- Proof: Trivia. 7pm
- Vino Beano: Wine Bingo. 7pm
- Fermentation Lounge: Trivia. 7pm
- Blue Tavern: Wednesday Open Mic with Doc Russell. The open mic night that has run continuously for almost 20 years, once housed at the Warehouse, lives on at the Blue Tavern. Doc Russell continues as the host with the most. Sign up starts at 7:45pm/free to attend
- House of Music: Bar Bingo! Free to Play & Late Night Karaoke. 7pm
- Fire Betty’s: Karaoke! 8pm/21+/free
- Dukes and Dotties: College Night and Line Dancing Lessons. 8pm
- Finnegans Wake: Trivia. 8pm
- The Sound Bar: Open Mic Night. 8pm
- The Bark: Karaoke with DJ Nathan. Best karaoke DJ in town. 9pm
- Peppers: Karaoke. 9pm
- 926: Dragged Out Wednesday. 10pm
2024.05.16 12:24 lancelotschaubert Yo /r/fantasy — Lancelot Schaubert + Of Gods and Globes contributors here. Ask me (or us) anything!
 | Hey friends, fam, fiends, ferrymen of the interstellar dead, fauns, and other assorted Fantasy folken — someone told me starting this off with a string of f-words would get your attention? Did I do it right?https://preview.redd.it/lwgggqddkr0d1.jpg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=03216efd2c758a3945b510239d0f04fe26e89db6https://preview.redd.it/vqeb7o3alr0d1.jpg?width=1463&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=853bd9eae6cd4ae4850899d97e82a9bd378c06c7 Lancelot Schaubert here with some of the crew from our 23 contributors to OF GODS AND GLOBES III I will be joined — at least — by Juliet Mariller (u/NoCalligrapher2320) who will be here early and late due to Australian time travel, Gordon Linzner, Andrew Najberg (AndrewNajberg), Gabriel Kellman (u/Whalemittens) Benjamin Chandler (u/bitteralabazam) — you can ask us anything, please let us know after whom you’re asking. They might ask me questions as well. Of Gods and Globes III...is a standalone anthology of stories based on interstellar mythopoetic names.Each name refers both to an astronomical phenomenon (for scifi) and a mythological phenomenon (for fantasy). I.E. — Saturn is a god and a planet, a scifi writer would write about the planet’s influence on, for instance, the influenza virus and a fantasy writer would focus on the demiurge’s. Brihaspati Graha is a Hindu demiurge and also another name for the planet Jupiter. They could pick “the great turtle” or “Charon” or “Mazzaroth,” as long as the name is a bridge between myth and the stars and they write spec fic. Considering the recent eclipses, I’m still kind of shocked no one wrote about Rahukalam, the sun eater. Perhaps we can talk a little bit about Empire of Silence? Or the role of the ever moving moon in Name of the Wind? I love this set of OGAG stories — they made me laugh, cry, squirm, rage at injustice. Stories from the previous two OGAG volumes won the Ditmar and Aurelius awards.
I mean I’ll hang out and answer the most random questions imaginable (college pranks, marriage proposals, cooking 3,000 eggs Benedict to order, my fantasy universe and how it trolled literary magazines that didn't like with speculative fiction, documentary films, filk music, pets, brewing, scavenging, surviving natural disasters like the Joplin Tornado, slow mo VHS explosions, lumber runs in NYC, CS Lewis’s offices at Cambridge, etc) until no one asks any more. I reserve the right to answer with a story, a question, or a silly link: I'm going to try and keep this fun. EDIT 11:22AM EST: I, Lance, am still around and will keep answering as long as stuff comes in. Juliet is likely asleep, will rejoin in her morning, our evening, so if you're fans of her work as I am, it'd be good to queue up some specific questions for her for this evening. Andrew and Gabriel will be here. Gordon will likely join later as may some others. EDIT @ 3:37 PM EST: Looks like Benjamin Chandler might join us for a bit from Slovakia. EDIT @ 8:21 PM EST: I'm personally headed to bed (I wake at 5am), but Juliet might hop on and answer some more and Najberg and Gabriel might duck back on, unsure. I'll check in the morning, but generally like I said, I'll answer stuff as it comes in and check periodically to make sure I got it all. |
2024.05.16 04:57 its_whirlpool4 Events for Fri 5/17 - Sun 5/19
** BOTH FRI 5/17 AND SAT 5/18 *\*
Motorcycle Safety Foundation Ride Day New Mexico Motorcycle Safety Program, 3401 Pan American Fwy Take Your First Ride: Ride a motorcycle in 30 min or less for free. MOTO Intro provides the motorcycle, helmet, gloves, and coaching. Free Riding Skills Test: Take the challenge of an advanced MSF course! SKILL Check participants, bring your motorcycle and gear! Please wear over-the-ankle footwear, long pants and long sleeves
Fri 4:30 PM Bike to Wherever Day Canteen Brewhouse, 2381 Aztec Rd. NE Learn about exciting bike routes in Albuquerque and grab some cool giveaways to kickstart your cycling adventures. Whether you’re a seasoned cyclist or just starting out, there’s something for EVERYONE at our pop-up table! We'll have Canteen will be volunteering at a table from 6:30-9am and then again at 4:30-6:30am. Receive $1 off your beer if you arrive on your bike
Fri 5 PM Pistachio Cream Ale Release Tractor Brewing, ALL locations We're bringing back this seasonal favorite for American Craft Beer Week! Inspired by pistachios produced right here in New Mexico this brew is as smooth as silk and as tasty and a fresh roasted pistachio. This is a very limited one off for us, so come and get you a pint or growler while supplies last
Fri 5 – 7 PM May Babies Birthday Celebration Rio Bravo Brewing, 1912 2nd St. NW Starting at 5pm, the first 25 people with May birthdays to show Ryan proof of their birthday month will score a $5 Rio Bravo Brewing Gift Card...oh, and Beers are on special for birthday kids for just $5! But you spend your gift card however you want! Thanks to Cake Fetish...we'll have cupcakes for the May Birthday Kids (while supplies last) We'll have prizes JUST for the May Babies! We'll also have drawings for all you non-birthday folks too If you want to get their before us...All drinks are $1 Off for May Birthdays the whole day!
Fri 5:45 – 7:15 PM 22 Veterans Suicide Awareness WOD BFit505, 11500 Menaul Blvd. NE Each month, Team Bravo & Bfit505 team up to bring awareness to veteran suicide. Before our events, we will take a moment and talk about the issue. Then we will begin with our 22 reps WOD followed by a 2.2 mile ruck/walk/run. Afterwards, we will be going out to eat for social time with friends and family. This event is for all levels
Fri 6 PM Sandia Social - May Hangout Dawn Patrol Coffee Shop, 3619 Copper Ave NE We will be hanging out around the patio and inside starting at 6pm! Bring your friends and come hang out!
Fri 6 PM Pink Therapy, A Latin Dance Fundraiser for Breast Cancer Sobremesa, 3421 Coors Blvd. NW On The One and Pachanga Productions' "Salsa Therapy" night has made its mark in the Latin Dance community, now we are using the symbolism of "Therapy" under "Pink Therapy" but this time it is to fundraise in partnership with the Pink Warrior House Foundation in order to provide outreach and increase resources for those warriors battling against breast cancer. On The One and Pachanga productions will be involved in community outreach and utilizing our resources to help those in need. Cover charge is a SUGGESTED $20 donation (ALL PROCEEDS GO TO Pink Warrior House Foundation). Cocktail hour from 6-7 PM (purchases go to PWH on selected drinks). Dance lesson from 7-8 PM. Open dance floor 8-12 AM. Be aware of Media/News coverage. We need everyone's assistance with this, PLEASE SHARE FAR AND WIDE, those warriors battling breast cancer need our help. Let's do our part. We are asking for the entire Latin dance community to come out and support. This will be one of many fundraisers that we do for organizations like PWH. Lets use our dance skills to help those in need!
Fri 6 – 8 PM May Flowers Stampin' Bingo (in person) Hip Stitch, 2320 Wisconsin St. NE Cost is $35 for 6 rounds of bingo, prizes, and make n' takes! Message for more info or to register
Fri 6 – 8:30 PM Los Domingueros Live El Vado, 2500 Central Ave SW Prepare for an unforgettable fusion of Latin dance beats and rock energy as Friday Night Live at El Vado proudly presents New Mexico's premier menudo-based band, Los Domingueros! Few bands can match the infectious joy and vibrant rhythms that they bring to the stage. A multi-talented group of musicians, they take listeners on a musical journey like no other. From the pulsating rhythms of salsa, bachata, and cumbia to the high-energy vibes of ska and reggae, sprinkled with a dash of punk and thrash, their eclectic repertoire promises an exhilarating experience for all. As always, treat your taste buds to a delightful selection of culinary delights from our diverse food pods. From savory stir-fries to tantalizing Latin flavors and heavenly desserts, there's something to satisfy every craving. And don't overlook the opportunity to quench your thirst with a crisp craft beer from Ponderosa Brewing Company, conveniently available at the El Vado Tap Room
Fri 6 – 10 PM Fork Cancer Gala FUSION ABQ, 700-708 1st St. NW The American Cancer Society is hosting Albuquerque's second #ForkCancerAbq fundraising event. VIP 6pm - 7pm. Gala 7pm - 10pm. Dress Code: Gala Attire. #ForkCancerNM is a foodie's dream, with local restaurants and bars bringing out their best to truly showcase the Taste of Albuquerque while raising money for the American Cancer Society's life-saving mission in New Mexico supporting Access to Care like patient transportation, patient lodging and 24/7 support. Along with life saving research and grants. With great opportunities to raise money, we will also have live entertainment! (tickets)
Fri 6:30 – 10 PM Community Movie Night South Valley Multipurpose Center, 2008 Larrazolo Rd. SW Feature of the night: In The Heights. Bring your dinner, blankets and chairs. Please no glass containers
Fri 7 PM Movie In The Park ABQ Food Park, 6901-B San Antonio Dr. NE ABQ Food Park is bringing back Movies In The Park, starting off the summer with a screening of The Sandlot. Arrive early to get your face painted by Local Locas Facepainting before settling in with your blankets, chairs, and appetite for a delightful evening at the park with loved ones. Indulge in delicious fare from our food trucks while enjoying this timeless film under the stars. Please do not bring outside food as we have a variety of food options at the park. Please support our local food vendors. Entry is free! Reserve your tickets
Fri 7 – 10 PM Emerald Ball Holiday Dance Studio, 5200 Eubank Blvd. NE, Ste D Celebrate the enchanting month of May by donning your finest emerald attire. Bring in the vibrant spring season by joining us in elegant semi-formal wear of rich verdant colors and dance the night away! A Foxtrot lesson will begin the evening at 7pm followed by open dancing. Call 505-508-4020 for more information. $30 non-members
Fri 8 PM – 2 AM Sucia EDC Gogo Takeover Sidewinders Bar and Grill, 4200 Central Ave SE Sucia Productions is bringing the Electric Sky to Sidewinders! No need to have EDC FOMO because Papa Sucia is ready to bring the party to you! Come join your Sucia Family for a Night of PLUR! Featuring the Sucia Gogos on multiple boxes and individual dances available in the Cabaret Room! Hosted by Papa Sucia and Sucia Gogo Madam Sativa Rico-Stratton. DJ Unzipped will be bringing the you the best EDM set for you to dance the night away!
Fri 9 PM – 1:30 AM Callaita Fridays Salt Yard West, 3700 Ellison Rd. NW DJ Soiree will be spinning under the stars in the Salt Yard, promising a night of electrifying Latin music. This 21+ event guarantees an atmosphere where you can fully embrace the rhythm without inhibition. Whether you're a die-hard fan of Reggaeton or simply seeking a night of unparalleled fun, "Callaita Fridays" is the place to be
Fri 10:30 PM – 12:15 AM FACELESS AFTER DARK - new meta horror starring Jenna Kanell of "Terrifier"! The Guild Cinema, 3405 Central Ave NE All Seats $8. Check out the trailer. Dir. Raymond Wood - 2023 - 82m. Following her breakout success as the star of a killer clown horror flick, Bowie (Jenna Kanell, TERRIFIER) now finds herself struggling to capitalize on its success. But when she is suddenly held hostage by an unhinged fan posing as that same killer clown, horror becomes her reality as she fights to survive the night and escape before he completes his sinister plan to recreate the film's fatal plot (tickets)
** Sat 5/18 *\*
Sat 8 – 10 AM Planting Corn Seeds Lynn Garden, 176 Manierre Rd., Corrales We will be planting corn seeds; a new crop for Seed2Need this year!
Sat 8 – 10 AM Run for Mercy 5K Sagebrush Community Church, 6440 Coors Blvd. NW Join our team to run with us to support Mercy Multiplied, which exists to provide opportunities for all to experience God's unconditional love, forgiveness, and life-transforming power. Mercy offers free-of-charge Residential and Outpatient Counseling Programs, as well as Outreach Services that include workshops and trainings, our Keys to Freedom discipleship study, and Keys to Freedom Retreat (register)
Sat 8 AM – 12 PM Downtown Growers' Market Robinson Park, 810 Copper Ave NW Every Saturday from 8 am - NOON! This vibrant community event connects local farmers, growers, artisans, wellness makers, and hot food vendors with the local community from mid-April to early-November. Bring friends / family or come solo to enjoy fresh food made on sight, a variety of seasonal produce, unique arts and crafts, live music, and special programming all in the heart of downtown
Sat 8 AM – 2 PM Rio Rancho's Biggest Yard Sale Cabezon Park and Community Center, 2307 Cabezon Blvd. SE, Rio Rancho FREE Admission! Clean out your garage, spare bedroom, attic and shed. Come join us to sell all of those items that were collecting dust, find a treasure that you didn’t know you needed, and enjoy a day in the park! Vendor space $35 for a 15’ x 15’ space (Tables and chairs are not provided) Must register online, NO Drop-Ins Accepted. Please call the Cabezon Community Center at 505-892-4499 for more info
Sat 9 AM Send Haley to Spain Sand Volleyball Tournament Charlie’s Sandbox, 4335 Paseo del Norte NE All proceeds go to Haley and her trip to Spain in July! $20/per player. All Skill levels! Prizes for 1st & 2nd place. 4-6 players Coed with 1 female on team. Check in @ 8:30am. More info: Jillian (505) 322-7228, Haley (505) 331-4788, Charlie (505) 239-2461
Sat 9 AM Invisible Heroes Run Believers Center of Albuquerque, 320 Waterfall Dr. SE Join Runfit and the American Society of Radiologic Technologists for the inaugural Invisible Heroes 5K Run/Walk. It is a community event being held to recognize the vital role that medical imaging professionals and radiation therapists play on the health care team and to introduce the public to these vital health care professionals. You are invited to run and walk to celebrate the important work done by invisible heroes. At packet pick-up, you will have an opportunity to tour the ASRT Museum and Archives. Age group, overall, and team awards, including a great t-shirt and finisher medals for all participants (register)
Sat 9 AM - 4 PM 16th Annual CTC Vintage Tractor & Car Show Corrales Recreation Center, 500 Jones Rd., Corrales Join us for a fun day in the Corrales Park. There will be music, food, hot rods, tractor, stationary engines and more. Proceeds Raised will benefit Corrales 4H and Historical Society. Free admission. $10 for show participants
Sat 10 AM – 12 PM Foraging for Fun(ds) Los Poblanos Open Space, 1800 Tierra Viva Pl. NW Join Rev. Ryan Tate on a foraging excursion! Rev. Tate, of the African American spiritual tradition and an IPL board member, wants to bring their loving knowledge of NM edibles and herbs to you. Discover the food right under your nose and how easy it is to enjoy! We’ll meet to explore and harvest native and edible plants. Enter the Open Space area from west bound Montano Boulevard. After foraging, we’ll gather to taste our harvest and other locally sourced treats. Sign up today to participate - space is limited. This is a fundraiser for our work for climate justice: Please give generously (Suggested minimum donation $10)
Sat 10 AM – 3 PM Homebrewer's Happy Hour Southwest Grape & Grain, 3401 Candelaria Blvd. NE Homebrewer's Happy Hour is the perfect chance for all homebrewers, wine makers, distillers, or anyone interested in learning, to connect with others, share a drink, and learn about a new subject each month! $1 off beers from 10am to 3pm. Presentation on monthly subject at 1pm with open forum to discuss after. Food truck on site for lunch! May 18th - Barley
Sat 10:30 – 11:30 AM Animal Tales with the ABQ BioPark Ernie Pyle Library, 900 Girard Blvd. SE Dive into the captivating world of animals with "Animal Tales" presented by the ABQ BioPark! Join us for a delightful reading session featuring an animal-themed book. Experience the magic as the BioPark brings along real animals and biofacts that connect to the story, giving kids an exciting opportunity to meet these creatures up close! Don't miss this engaging and educational adventure for young animal enthusiasts!
Sat 10:30 AM – 12:30 PM FolkMADS Third Saturday Family Dance Albuquerque Square Dance Center, 4915 Hawkins St. NE Dancing, song, and live music for kids of all ages. No experience needed to have fun! Children must be accompanied by an adult. Children dance free, Adults $10
Sat 11 AM – 1 PM Annual Summer Kick-Off Event! Matheson Park Elementary, 10809 Lexington Ave NE Join us as we kick off the summer with fun, a food truck, face painting, dunk tank, and more! Bring your family and your pets for a Blessing of the Pets. There is no cost to attend and all are welcome!
Sat 11 AM – 3 PM Wine + Art Afternoons Gruet Winery, 8400 Pan American East Fwy NE Prism Arts presents a new public art and social series with a special one-day multi-artist event. Join us inside the Gruet Winery with a selection of fine art, prints, paintings, jewelry, and ceramics from local artists Vanessa Alvarado, Eric Romero, Margarita Paz-Pedro, & Aaron Richardson. Enjoy unique art, amazing fine, food, and a social environment with the artists and the public. *All art purchases receive a complimentary bottle of Gruet Wine*
Sat 11 AM – 3 PM Bernalillo Family Fun Festival! Calvary Church, 4001 Osuna Rd. NE Get connected to community and enjoy a Fun Family Day!
Sat 11:30 AM – 4 PM Imaginary Friends Fest Flix Brewhouse, 3200 La Orilla Rd. NW Let your imagination run wild! Join us in the lobby to celebrate the opening of IF! Enjoy photo ops, freebies, an in-theater giveaway, and activities for the whole family. All ages are welcome!
Sat 12 PM BBQ n' Crawl Supper Rock Park, 598 Monte Alto Pl. NE Mini Crawlers 505 and Duke City RC are throwing a BBQ and crawl sesh! All rigs welcome! Please mark going if you are, so we can get enough food!
Sat 12 PM May Brew Tour - Farewell Tour Rio Bravo Brewing, 1912 2nd St. NW This is the last NM Brew Ha-Ha Beer tour for the season. The 24-25 season will start in June 2025 so stay tuned for the season lineup release. Rio Bravo Brewing, Ponderosa Brewing, Bow & Arrow Brewing, Juno Brewery. At Rio Bravo, a DD will be selected, then we’ll head to the other breweries in the order listed. T-shirts, if ordered will be delivered. For safety, a breathalyzer is available, a DD will be established and a liability waiver will be signed by all participants. Safety is of utmost importance. We want everyone to enjoy their tour and arrive home safely
Sat 12 PM Drag Bingo & Brunch! All Ages Welcome! Sidewinders Bar and Grill, 4200 Central Ave SE Join us for a Drag Queen Bingo and Brunch benefitting The Albuquerque Roadrunner Tournament 2024 (coming up in September). Hosted by Priscilla Bouvier. Doors 12pm. Show 1pm. Bingo, Prizes, Giveaways, Raffles, Cocktails, Mocktails and Fun!
Sat 12 PM Empire's 9th Anniversary - FREE PLAY ALL DAY Empire Board Game Library, 3503 Central Ave NE It's Empire's 9th Anniversary celebration and you're invited! We've been here 9 years and it's all thanks to the support we get from you, so to show our appreciation, this Saturday's celebration is our gift to you: Come in and play for free all day! Every game is on sale all weekend! We're holding raffles over the course of the day to give away some great games! So come on down and let us thank you!
Sat 12 – 3 PM STOODIS!: An AIDS/LifeCycle Fundraising Event Soo Bak Seoul Bowl, 111 Hermosa Dr. SE Help Vanessa Bowen cross the finish line – the fundraising finish line, that is! Vanessa is on a mission to raise $3,500 to participate in the 2024 AIDS/LifeCycle, a 545-mile charity bike ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles from June 2nd to 8th, 2024. Join this special fundraising event and send-off party for an afternoon of entertainment, vendors, bike tune-ups, raffle, and food and drink specials. Come prepared to support our local vendors and find out how you can win our selected giveaways. AIDS/LifeCycle benefits, and is jointly produced by, San Francisco AIDS Foundation (Tax ID # 94-2927405) and Los Angeles LGBT Center (Tax ID # 95-3567895), each of which is a nonprofit, public benefit corporation recognized as tax exempt under IRS Code Section 501(c)(3). Donations to AIDS/LifeCycle are deductible for income tax purposes, to the extent permitted by law. Vanessa Bowen (They/Them) is a Diné (Navajo) product designer and cyclist. Their work gravitates toward the intersection of design and social equity. Bowen is a former Outride Ambassador, current Chamois Butt’r and Kuat Racks Ambassador, founder of Get Native Kids on Bikes, and a supporter of AIDS/LifeCycle. If not creating in their studio in Albuquerque, they are training for a cycling event or community building for a just, equitable future (more info)
Sat 12 – 5 PM Day Camp - A Festival for Families Tin Can Alley, 6013 Signal Ave NE Day Camp is where adventure meets education, creativity, and community in a fair-like environment where a variety of youth development organizations are excited to share their programs. In partnership with Warehouse 505, and featuring organizations such as Explora, there will be workshops ands expos for kids to discover new passions across music, art, science, and more. Supporting Youth Security & Education, all dedicated funds raised will be going to New Mexico non-profit organizations
Sat 12 – 5 PM Monthly Pinball Tournament Sister, 407 Central Ave NW All skill levels and players welcome! 21+ Sign up starts at 12 pm; tournament play starts at 1 p.m. Entry fee is $5 + coin drop
Sat 1 – 5 PM United in Beer Collaboration Festival Ex Novo Brewing, 4895 Corrales Rd., Corrales United in Beer is a New Mexico statewide collaborative beer festival that benefits the Somos Unidos Foundation with 26 participating breweries, which were randomly partnered through a live draft and then together selected the beer style they would collaborate on. All beers will be showcased at the festival. Tickets are limited. Portions of ticket sales will donated to Somos Unidos Foundation, a 501(c)(3) dedicated to creating positive outcomes for New Mexicans through art, sport, community, and unity. This will be a 21+ Event. Food trucks will be on site. Included with ticket purchase is: Festival access, 8 drink tokens, and a United In Beer glass! We recommend bringing: Sunscreen, your friends, and good vibes
Sat 1 – 10 PM Boots In The Park Presents Thomas Rhett, Chris Young & Friends! Balloon Fiesta Park, 5000 Balloon Fiesta Pkwy Dust off your boots and get ready to holler, because Boots In The Park is making it's way to Albuquerque, y'all! Join us for a rootin', tootin', two-steppin' good time with none other than Thomas Rhett, Chris Young, Chris Janson, Kameron Marlowe, Dylan Schneider, Leaving Austin and beats by Luwiss Lux. We're talking about an evening filled to the brim with live tunes, finger-lickin' craft food, and the smoothest cocktails. We'll be kicking up dust with some good ol' line dancing and a whole heap more, as Balloon Fiesta Park is transformed into Albuquerque's best country music party! Past folks to grace the Boots In The Park stage are Carrie Underwood, Blake Shelton, Tim McGraw, Cody Johnson, Jon Pardi and a bunch of other country legends. But this day is gonna be one for the record books, a show that will leave y'all talking for years to come (tickets)
Sat 2 PM Annual Castro Concerto Competition Albuquerque Youth Symphony, 4407 Menaul Blvd. NE Join us to hear talented high school juniors compete for the privilege of performing with the Youth Symphony during the Albuquerque Youth Symphony Program's 2024-2025 concert season! This event is free and open to the public. We also plan to stream this event live on Facebook for anyone not able to attend in person
Sat 2 PM "Greatest Moments" - a fundraising concert for Opera On Tap New Mexico Central United Methodist Church, 201 University Blvd. NE Join us for an afternoon of music to help raise money for Opera on Tap - New Mexico! Featuring some faculty and students of University of New Mexico, along with other local professionals, we have put a program together highlighting some of the show-stopping, beautiful moments of opera and musical theater! Suggested donation $10
Sat 2 – 7 PM Rawking: An Afternoon Metal + Art + Comedy Extravaganza Juno, 1501 1st St. NW Featured performers include Light Thief, Destroy to Recreate, Guvtika, Abandoned Saviors. outdoors on the patio with Four Bands, Comedians, Artists, Vendors. Produced by Metal World Radio. 21+. $10 at the door or presales online
Sat 3 – 8 PM Albuquerque Roller Derby presents: Sandia Slammers vs. Bosque Bruisers! Expo New Mexico - Manuel Lujan Jr Exhibit Complex, 300 San Pedro Dr. NE Albuquerque Roller Derby has gotten SO big we’ve split into two teams! Sandia Slammers & Bosque Bruisers! Get your tickets for our first Home Game of the 2024 season
Sat 3:45 – 5:45 PM AND 7 - 9 PM The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 Flix Brewhouse, 3236 La Orilla Rd. NW Experience the Twilight saga's epic romance and thrilling fantasy BREAKING DAWN - PART 1 on the big screen! Bella and Edward, plus those they love, must deal with the chain of consequences brought on by a marriage, honeymoon, and the tumultuous birth of a child, which brings about unforeseen and shocking developments for Jacob Black (tickets)
Sat 4 – 8 PM Drink Local Downtown ABQ - May Step into the heart of Albuquerque with our thrilling, free monthly bar crawl event! Immerse yourself in the local charm as we celebrate community, culture, and creativity right in the heart of ABQ. In partnership with ABQCore Neighborhood Association, a locally organized and hosted event, we're bringing you a bar crawl experience like no other. This isn't just a crawl; it's a vibrant celebration of local businesses, a showcase of community talent, and a monthly escape into the unique flavors that make ABQ special
Sat 4 – 9 PM Summer Market ABQ Food Park, 6951 San Antonio Dr. NE Dive into the magic of summer evenings at ABQ Food Park with our captivating Summer Market! Join us for a delightful evening, where you can browse an enchanting array of offerings from local artisans and support our vibrant community businesses. Discover unique treasures crafted with love and passion by talented artisans, from handcrafted jewelry to exquisite home decor. Every purchase you make supports local creators and contributes to the thriving arts scene in our city
Sat 5 – 8 PM National Astronomy Day! Rainbow Park Observatory, 301 Southern Blvd SE, Rio Rancho The Rio Rancho Astronomical Society will host National Astronomy Day at Rainbow Park Observatory. There will be food for a donation, family activities and safe solar viewing. Dr. Tony Hull will appeal at 7 pm about his work on the James Webb Space Telescope. He will also have some info on light pollution
Sat 5 – 11 PM Beer & Jazz on the Hill Tractor Brewing, 122 Tulane Dr. SE We're bringing you a full night of brews and Jazz with the very talented Rona & Meli opening things up at 5pm and our house Jazz band Basilaris Trio closing things down at 8!
Sat 6 PM Bear Affair 4: Spanish Tapas Beer Pairing Dinner Boxing Bear Brewing, 8420 Firestone Ln. NE Join us on our patio for an ALMOST summer night paired with a variety of our seasonal beers, chef-crafted Spanish tapas, and flamenco. Featuring chef Christopher Midyette And the artist dance group Spanish Broom. Tickets are $65 per person and include a welcome beer, three course tapas style meal with beer pairings and entertainment for the evening
Sat 6 PM One Year Anniversary Celebration Urbanmama505 Kombucha, 1014 Central Ave SW, Ste A Celebrating one year of love, abundance, and sharing wellness. Right after Open Mic 4-6pm, we will be graced with a jazz concert by Davis Nelson-Hooker, an amazing local musician. Elixirs and small plates for purchase
Sat 6 – 9 PM Gone Country Saturdays with DJ Soiree Ponderosa Brewing, 1761 Bellamah Ave NW It's Gone Country Saturdays featuring the amazing DJ Soiree! Start your evening with free dance lessons at 5 pm, followed by family-friendly entertainment
Sat 7:30 – 9 PM Saturday Night Stand-Up Bosque Brewing Co - Nob Hill, 106 Girard Blvd. SE Live from ABQ, it’s… Saturday Night Stand-Up Hosted by Nax Davis! Every third Saturday of the month! Seating at 7:30 - Comedy at 8. Featured line-up of local comics includes: MEG FINN, BRYAN LAMBE, SARINA OCHOA, MARY BYRD, ROBERT EYSTER
Sat 8 PM – 1:15 AM Apparition Goth Night Historic El Rey Theater, 622 Central Ave SW A hauntingly dark, classic goth night featuring the Apparition team: DJ Ren, DJ Batboy, DJ Moonside. Doors at 8. $10 all night. 21+ Tickets at the door. Expect goth, darkwave, death rock, synthpop, dark post punk, ebm, dark dance, industrial, witch house, horror punk and more
Sat 8:30 PM – 1 AM SABOR Latin Night - SATURDAYS Bama's 1865, 6007 Osuna Rd. NE May 11th - SPECIAL GUEST DJ ITALIA! DJ Gabriel Goza & DJ Pedro will be serving you the saucy Salsa, Bachata, Cumbia, Merengue y Mas! Ample Parking, Safe Environment, Beautiful Venue, Good Food, Good Music, Good Vibes. 21+ / $10 cover
Sat 9 PM – 1 AM Cumbia + Rock en Espanol Juno, 1501 1st St. NW Grupo Super Verza with Ave. 69 and Lot Beat and DJ Tony. Baila! 21+, $15 at the door or online
** Sun 5/19 *\*
Sun 9 – 11 AM Elevated Roller Derby May Training Scrimmage Heights Community Center, 823 Buena Vista Dr. SE Officials' huddle 9:00AM. Captains' meeting at 9:20AM. First whistle 9:30AM. This is simply a black/white scrimmage. It will be used as an educational opportunity. NSO paperwork will be used as appropriate. You are encouraged to stretch your skills. Hospitality: This is a low/no production scrimmage, bring beverages and snacks for your own use. Bathrooms: The community center may not be open during the scrimmage. (That's the trade-off for a free space). You can stop at the nearby Starbucks before the event. Expectations: Skaters and Skating and Non-skating Officials are expected to follow all WFTDA Risk Management Guidelines. The venue is a designated alcohol, drug, and smoke-free space by the city of Albuquerque (sign up)
Sun 10 AM – 2 PM The Great Burque Bake On Rail Yards Market, 777 1st St. SW Get ready to whisk it all at the "Great Burque Bake-on," a special fundraiser for the non-profit Rail Yards Market: One dozen of Albuquerque's most talented bakers will dough head-to-head in a crusty competition for the ultimate bakery glory! Bakers brawl... You vote for the winners! This sugar-dusted showdown promises a blend of flour-fueled drama and buttery bravado, making it the yeast you can do to support your local confectionery champions. As these culinary wizards knead their way to the top, we guarantee you'll find their efforts both batter and sweeter than anything you've tasted before. Join us for a day of laughter, pastry, and a chance to see who rises as the crème de la crème of Burque's baking scene! 1) ORDER > Claim your Bake-on Box & exclusive market swag by ordering online May 10-16th, 2024. 2) LEARN > Follow our social media to learn about each contestant & their offering. 3) PICKUP > Grab your box of baked goodies & swag at the info booth Sunday May 19th. 4) ENJOY > Eat all the delectable goodies, savor the flavor, and read about all the contestants 5) VOTE >> Submit your votes online to choose the winners! (tickets) The Farmers' Market event is going down simultaneously with 175+ local vendors to explore, and is still FREE to enter and welcome to all. This funky fundraiser is going down during the FREE Rail Yards Farmers' Market. So you can peruse 150+ small businesses and enjoy the historic architecture while you enjoy your Great Burque Bake-on Box of goodies! All proceeds will benefit the Rail Yards Market. The Rail Yards market of Albuquerque is a certified 501(c)3 non-profit focused on building a resilient, sustainable, local economy where the surrounding historic communities thrive, all can participate, and everyone is enriched and inspired. Through food, art, education, and music, we invite the community together in an inclusive and festive atmosphere
Sun 11:30 AM The Addams Family Historic Lobo Theater, 3013 Central Ave NE THE HISTORIC LOBO THEATER is excited to bring The Addams Family to the big screen! Showing Starts at 11:30 am Tickets are ONLY $10 for General Admission $25 Brunch and a Movie Ticket $21 Brunch Only ticket
Sun 12:30 PM Annual Spring Tea Asbury UMC, 10000 Candelaria Rd. NE All are welcome to attend our Annual Spring Tea! This year's theme is "The Tapestries of Our Lives." Life can be like a tapestry; our quilt, with events, feelings, accomplishments, and even disappointments "stitched" in. Join us, for tea, while Cindy Kurey, AQS-certified quilted textiles appraiser, shares how quilting and her faith have helped her navigate life. She will also show her collection of antique, vintage, and modern quilts! There is no cost to attend, though RSVPs are required. Please call the church office 505-299-0643 or message us on Facebook to RSVP
Sun 1 PM Ruck Club May Callout - Rain Ruck North Domingo Baca Park, 8301 Wyoming Blvd. NE Since we are in Albuquerque, we will get creative to find water. No weight requirement; use your regular training weight. We will be rucking at least 5 miles. Hosted by F3 Albuquerque, which plants free, peer-led workout groups for men, but this event isn't just for men! Everybody is welcomed and encouraged to participate in this GORUCK monthly callout. Bring water, electrolytes, sunscreen. Expect to get wet, and dress accordingly
Sun 2 - 4 PM Film Screening: "Between the Stone and the Flower" JCC of Greater Albuquerque, 5520 Wyoming Blvd. NE The film follows the journey of Genie of Milgrom and her decades long quest for her Jewish lineage inspired the film. She was born in Havana, Cuba and raised in Miami as a full Catholic. She was always burdened with a deep-rooted feeling of not belonging in her Spanish Catholic environment. Genie becomes more and more convinced that her family was Jewish in the Iberian Peninsula centuries before. Intro and Q&A with Filmmaker, Genie Milgrom (register for free)
Sun 2 – 3:30 PM Cuidando los Niños Fundraiser Cookie Class Sweet Pea Bakery, 2500 Central Ave SW Join us for a fun night out while making an impact in our community! Light House Studio and Sweet Pea Bakery are teaming up to host a cookie decorating class to benefit Cuidando los Ninos. This will be a full 1.5 hour class where local cookie artist Katie Sacoman walks you through decorating three floral themed sugar cookies. Each participant also receives a personalized cookie with their name on it. 50% of each ticket sold goes to benefit Cuidando los Ninos, a local organization working to break the cycle of homelessness for children and families by providing high-quality early childhood education, case management, supportive housing, and parent education. *This class will be good for participants age 10 and up. Please keep in mind it is an hour and a half long guided class. You know your child best!*
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Motorcycle Safety Foundation Ride Day New Mexico Motorcycle Safety Program, 3401 Pan American Fwy Take Your First Ride: Ride a motorcycle in 30 min or less for free. MOTO Intro provides the motorcycle, helmet, gloves, and coaching. Free Riding Skills Test: Take the challenge of an advanced MSF course! SKILL Check participants, bring your motorcycle and gear! Please wear over-the-ankle footwear, long pants and long sleeves
- Fri: 2 - 4 PM Skills Check, 4 - 6 PM Moto Intro
- Sat: 2 - 4:30 PM Moto Intro, 4:30 - 6:30 PM Skills Check
- Fri: 7 PM
- Sat: 4 PM
Fri 4:30 PM Bike to Wherever Day Canteen Brewhouse, 2381 Aztec Rd. NE Learn about exciting bike routes in Albuquerque and grab some cool giveaways to kickstart your cycling adventures. Whether you’re a seasoned cyclist or just starting out, there’s something for EVERYONE at our pop-up table! We'll have Canteen will be volunteering at a table from 6:30-9am and then again at 4:30-6:30am. Receive $1 off your beer if you arrive on your bike
Fri 5 PM Pistachio Cream Ale Release Tractor Brewing, ALL locations We're bringing back this seasonal favorite for American Craft Beer Week! Inspired by pistachios produced right here in New Mexico this brew is as smooth as silk and as tasty and a fresh roasted pistachio. This is a very limited one off for us, so come and get you a pint or growler while supplies last
Fri 5 – 7 PM May Babies Birthday Celebration Rio Bravo Brewing, 1912 2nd St. NW Starting at 5pm, the first 25 people with May birthdays to show Ryan proof of their birthday month will score a $5 Rio Bravo Brewing Gift Card...oh, and Beers are on special for birthday kids for just $5! But you spend your gift card however you want! Thanks to Cake Fetish...we'll have cupcakes for the May Birthday Kids (while supplies last) We'll have prizes JUST for the May Babies! We'll also have drawings for all you non-birthday folks too If you want to get their before us...All drinks are $1 Off for May Birthdays the whole day!
Fri 5:45 – 7:15 PM 22 Veterans Suicide Awareness WOD BFit505, 11500 Menaul Blvd. NE Each month, Team Bravo & Bfit505 team up to bring awareness to veteran suicide. Before our events, we will take a moment and talk about the issue. Then we will begin with our 22 reps WOD followed by a 2.2 mile ruck/walk/run. Afterwards, we will be going out to eat for social time with friends and family. This event is for all levels
Fri 6 PM Sandia Social - May Hangout Dawn Patrol Coffee Shop, 3619 Copper Ave NE We will be hanging out around the patio and inside starting at 6pm! Bring your friends and come hang out!
Fri 6 PM Pink Therapy, A Latin Dance Fundraiser for Breast Cancer Sobremesa, 3421 Coors Blvd. NW On The One and Pachanga Productions' "Salsa Therapy" night has made its mark in the Latin Dance community, now we are using the symbolism of "Therapy" under "Pink Therapy" but this time it is to fundraise in partnership with the Pink Warrior House Foundation in order to provide outreach and increase resources for those warriors battling against breast cancer. On The One and Pachanga productions will be involved in community outreach and utilizing our resources to help those in need. Cover charge is a SUGGESTED $20 donation (ALL PROCEEDS GO TO Pink Warrior House Foundation). Cocktail hour from 6-7 PM (purchases go to PWH on selected drinks). Dance lesson from 7-8 PM. Open dance floor 8-12 AM. Be aware of Media/News coverage. We need everyone's assistance with this, PLEASE SHARE FAR AND WIDE, those warriors battling breast cancer need our help. Let's do our part. We are asking for the entire Latin dance community to come out and support. This will be one of many fundraisers that we do for organizations like PWH. Lets use our dance skills to help those in need!
Fri 6 – 8 PM May Flowers Stampin' Bingo (in person) Hip Stitch, 2320 Wisconsin St. NE Cost is $35 for 6 rounds of bingo, prizes, and make n' takes! Message for more info or to register
Fri 6 – 8:30 PM Los Domingueros Live El Vado, 2500 Central Ave SW Prepare for an unforgettable fusion of Latin dance beats and rock energy as Friday Night Live at El Vado proudly presents New Mexico's premier menudo-based band, Los Domingueros! Few bands can match the infectious joy and vibrant rhythms that they bring to the stage. A multi-talented group of musicians, they take listeners on a musical journey like no other. From the pulsating rhythms of salsa, bachata, and cumbia to the high-energy vibes of ska and reggae, sprinkled with a dash of punk and thrash, their eclectic repertoire promises an exhilarating experience for all. As always, treat your taste buds to a delightful selection of culinary delights from our diverse food pods. From savory stir-fries to tantalizing Latin flavors and heavenly desserts, there's something to satisfy every craving. And don't overlook the opportunity to quench your thirst with a crisp craft beer from Ponderosa Brewing Company, conveniently available at the El Vado Tap Room
Fri 6 – 10 PM Fork Cancer Gala FUSION ABQ, 700-708 1st St. NW The American Cancer Society is hosting Albuquerque's second #ForkCancerAbq fundraising event. VIP 6pm - 7pm. Gala 7pm - 10pm. Dress Code: Gala Attire. #ForkCancerNM is a foodie's dream, with local restaurants and bars bringing out their best to truly showcase the Taste of Albuquerque while raising money for the American Cancer Society's life-saving mission in New Mexico supporting Access to Care like patient transportation, patient lodging and 24/7 support. Along with life saving research and grants. With great opportunities to raise money, we will also have live entertainment! (tickets)
Fri 6:30 – 10 PM Community Movie Night South Valley Multipurpose Center, 2008 Larrazolo Rd. SW Feature of the night: In The Heights. Bring your dinner, blankets and chairs. Please no glass containers
Fri 7 PM Movie In The Park ABQ Food Park, 6901-B San Antonio Dr. NE ABQ Food Park is bringing back Movies In The Park, starting off the summer with a screening of The Sandlot. Arrive early to get your face painted by Local Locas Facepainting before settling in with your blankets, chairs, and appetite for a delightful evening at the park with loved ones. Indulge in delicious fare from our food trucks while enjoying this timeless film under the stars. Please do not bring outside food as we have a variety of food options at the park. Please support our local food vendors. Entry is free! Reserve your tickets
Fri 7 – 10 PM Emerald Ball Holiday Dance Studio, 5200 Eubank Blvd. NE, Ste D Celebrate the enchanting month of May by donning your finest emerald attire. Bring in the vibrant spring season by joining us in elegant semi-formal wear of rich verdant colors and dance the night away! A Foxtrot lesson will begin the evening at 7pm followed by open dancing. Call 505-508-4020 for more information. $30 non-members
Fri 8 PM – 2 AM Sucia EDC Gogo Takeover Sidewinders Bar and Grill, 4200 Central Ave SE Sucia Productions is bringing the Electric Sky to Sidewinders! No need to have EDC FOMO because Papa Sucia is ready to bring the party to you! Come join your Sucia Family for a Night of PLUR! Featuring the Sucia Gogos on multiple boxes and individual dances available in the Cabaret Room! Hosted by Papa Sucia and Sucia Gogo Madam Sativa Rico-Stratton. DJ Unzipped will be bringing the you the best EDM set for you to dance the night away!
Fri 9 PM – 1:30 AM Callaita Fridays Salt Yard West, 3700 Ellison Rd. NW DJ Soiree will be spinning under the stars in the Salt Yard, promising a night of electrifying Latin music. This 21+ event guarantees an atmosphere where you can fully embrace the rhythm without inhibition. Whether you're a die-hard fan of Reggaeton or simply seeking a night of unparalleled fun, "Callaita Fridays" is the place to be
Fri 10:30 PM – 12:15 AM FACELESS AFTER DARK - new meta horror starring Jenna Kanell of "Terrifier"! The Guild Cinema, 3405 Central Ave NE All Seats $8. Check out the trailer. Dir. Raymond Wood - 2023 - 82m. Following her breakout success as the star of a killer clown horror flick, Bowie (Jenna Kanell, TERRIFIER) now finds herself struggling to capitalize on its success. But when she is suddenly held hostage by an unhinged fan posing as that same killer clown, horror becomes her reality as she fights to survive the night and escape before he completes his sinister plan to recreate the film's fatal plot (tickets)
** Sat 5/18 *\*
Sat 8 – 10 AM Planting Corn Seeds Lynn Garden, 176 Manierre Rd., Corrales We will be planting corn seeds; a new crop for Seed2Need this year!
Sat 8 – 10 AM Run for Mercy 5K Sagebrush Community Church, 6440 Coors Blvd. NW Join our team to run with us to support Mercy Multiplied, which exists to provide opportunities for all to experience God's unconditional love, forgiveness, and life-transforming power. Mercy offers free-of-charge Residential and Outpatient Counseling Programs, as well as Outreach Services that include workshops and trainings, our Keys to Freedom discipleship study, and Keys to Freedom Retreat (register)
Sat 8 AM – 12 PM Downtown Growers' Market Robinson Park, 810 Copper Ave NW Every Saturday from 8 am - NOON! This vibrant community event connects local farmers, growers, artisans, wellness makers, and hot food vendors with the local community from mid-April to early-November. Bring friends / family or come solo to enjoy fresh food made on sight, a variety of seasonal produce, unique arts and crafts, live music, and special programming all in the heart of downtown
Sat 8 AM – 2 PM Rio Rancho's Biggest Yard Sale Cabezon Park and Community Center, 2307 Cabezon Blvd. SE, Rio Rancho FREE Admission! Clean out your garage, spare bedroom, attic and shed. Come join us to sell all of those items that were collecting dust, find a treasure that you didn’t know you needed, and enjoy a day in the park! Vendor space $35 for a 15’ x 15’ space (Tables and chairs are not provided) Must register online, NO Drop-Ins Accepted. Please call the Cabezon Community Center at 505-892-4499 for more info
Sat 9 AM Send Haley to Spain Sand Volleyball Tournament Charlie’s Sandbox, 4335 Paseo del Norte NE All proceeds go to Haley and her trip to Spain in July! $20/per player. All Skill levels! Prizes for 1st & 2nd place. 4-6 players Coed with 1 female on team. Check in @ 8:30am. More info: Jillian (505) 322-7228, Haley (505) 331-4788, Charlie (505) 239-2461
Sat 9 AM Invisible Heroes Run Believers Center of Albuquerque, 320 Waterfall Dr. SE Join Runfit and the American Society of Radiologic Technologists for the inaugural Invisible Heroes 5K Run/Walk. It is a community event being held to recognize the vital role that medical imaging professionals and radiation therapists play on the health care team and to introduce the public to these vital health care professionals. You are invited to run and walk to celebrate the important work done by invisible heroes. At packet pick-up, you will have an opportunity to tour the ASRT Museum and Archives. Age group, overall, and team awards, including a great t-shirt and finisher medals for all participants (register)
Sat 9 AM - 4 PM 16th Annual CTC Vintage Tractor & Car Show Corrales Recreation Center, 500 Jones Rd., Corrales Join us for a fun day in the Corrales Park. There will be music, food, hot rods, tractor, stationary engines and more. Proceeds Raised will benefit Corrales 4H and Historical Society. Free admission. $10 for show participants
Sat 10 AM – 12 PM Foraging for Fun(ds) Los Poblanos Open Space, 1800 Tierra Viva Pl. NW Join Rev. Ryan Tate on a foraging excursion! Rev. Tate, of the African American spiritual tradition and an IPL board member, wants to bring their loving knowledge of NM edibles and herbs to you. Discover the food right under your nose and how easy it is to enjoy! We’ll meet to explore and harvest native and edible plants. Enter the Open Space area from west bound Montano Boulevard. After foraging, we’ll gather to taste our harvest and other locally sourced treats. Sign up today to participate - space is limited. This is a fundraiser for our work for climate justice: Please give generously (Suggested minimum donation $10)
Sat 10 AM – 3 PM Homebrewer's Happy Hour Southwest Grape & Grain, 3401 Candelaria Blvd. NE Homebrewer's Happy Hour is the perfect chance for all homebrewers, wine makers, distillers, or anyone interested in learning, to connect with others, share a drink, and learn about a new subject each month! $1 off beers from 10am to 3pm. Presentation on monthly subject at 1pm with open forum to discuss after. Food truck on site for lunch! May 18th - Barley
Sat 10:30 – 11:30 AM Animal Tales with the ABQ BioPark Ernie Pyle Library, 900 Girard Blvd. SE Dive into the captivating world of animals with "Animal Tales" presented by the ABQ BioPark! Join us for a delightful reading session featuring an animal-themed book. Experience the magic as the BioPark brings along real animals and biofacts that connect to the story, giving kids an exciting opportunity to meet these creatures up close! Don't miss this engaging and educational adventure for young animal enthusiasts!
Sat 10:30 AM – 12:30 PM FolkMADS Third Saturday Family Dance Albuquerque Square Dance Center, 4915 Hawkins St. NE Dancing, song, and live music for kids of all ages. No experience needed to have fun! Children must be accompanied by an adult. Children dance free, Adults $10
Sat 11 AM – 1 PM Annual Summer Kick-Off Event! Matheson Park Elementary, 10809 Lexington Ave NE Join us as we kick off the summer with fun, a food truck, face painting, dunk tank, and more! Bring your family and your pets for a Blessing of the Pets. There is no cost to attend and all are welcome!
Sat 11 AM – 3 PM Wine + Art Afternoons Gruet Winery, 8400 Pan American East Fwy NE Prism Arts presents a new public art and social series with a special one-day multi-artist event. Join us inside the Gruet Winery with a selection of fine art, prints, paintings, jewelry, and ceramics from local artists Vanessa Alvarado, Eric Romero, Margarita Paz-Pedro, & Aaron Richardson. Enjoy unique art, amazing fine, food, and a social environment with the artists and the public. *All art purchases receive a complimentary bottle of Gruet Wine*
Sat 11 AM – 3 PM Bernalillo Family Fun Festival! Calvary Church, 4001 Osuna Rd. NE Get connected to community and enjoy a Fun Family Day!
Sat 11:30 AM – 4 PM Imaginary Friends Fest Flix Brewhouse, 3200 La Orilla Rd. NW Let your imagination run wild! Join us in the lobby to celebrate the opening of IF! Enjoy photo ops, freebies, an in-theater giveaway, and activities for the whole family. All ages are welcome!
Sat 12 PM BBQ n' Crawl Supper Rock Park, 598 Monte Alto Pl. NE Mini Crawlers 505 and Duke City RC are throwing a BBQ and crawl sesh! All rigs welcome! Please mark going if you are, so we can get enough food!
Sat 12 PM May Brew Tour - Farewell Tour Rio Bravo Brewing, 1912 2nd St. NW This is the last NM Brew Ha-Ha Beer tour for the season. The 24-25 season will start in June 2025 so stay tuned for the season lineup release. Rio Bravo Brewing, Ponderosa Brewing, Bow & Arrow Brewing, Juno Brewery. At Rio Bravo, a DD will be selected, then we’ll head to the other breweries in the order listed. T-shirts, if ordered will be delivered. For safety, a breathalyzer is available, a DD will be established and a liability waiver will be signed by all participants. Safety is of utmost importance. We want everyone to enjoy their tour and arrive home safely
Sat 12 PM Drag Bingo & Brunch! All Ages Welcome! Sidewinders Bar and Grill, 4200 Central Ave SE Join us for a Drag Queen Bingo and Brunch benefitting The Albuquerque Roadrunner Tournament 2024 (coming up in September). Hosted by Priscilla Bouvier. Doors 12pm. Show 1pm. Bingo, Prizes, Giveaways, Raffles, Cocktails, Mocktails and Fun!
Sat 12 PM Empire's 9th Anniversary - FREE PLAY ALL DAY Empire Board Game Library, 3503 Central Ave NE It's Empire's 9th Anniversary celebration and you're invited! We've been here 9 years and it's all thanks to the support we get from you, so to show our appreciation, this Saturday's celebration is our gift to you: Come in and play for free all day! Every game is on sale all weekend! We're holding raffles over the course of the day to give away some great games! So come on down and let us thank you!
Sat 12 – 3 PM STOODIS!: An AIDS/LifeCycle Fundraising Event Soo Bak Seoul Bowl, 111 Hermosa Dr. SE Help Vanessa Bowen cross the finish line – the fundraising finish line, that is! Vanessa is on a mission to raise $3,500 to participate in the 2024 AIDS/LifeCycle, a 545-mile charity bike ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles from June 2nd to 8th, 2024. Join this special fundraising event and send-off party for an afternoon of entertainment, vendors, bike tune-ups, raffle, and food and drink specials. Come prepared to support our local vendors and find out how you can win our selected giveaways. AIDS/LifeCycle benefits, and is jointly produced by, San Francisco AIDS Foundation (Tax ID # 94-2927405) and Los Angeles LGBT Center (Tax ID # 95-3567895), each of which is a nonprofit, public benefit corporation recognized as tax exempt under IRS Code Section 501(c)(3). Donations to AIDS/LifeCycle are deductible for income tax purposes, to the extent permitted by law. Vanessa Bowen (They/Them) is a Diné (Navajo) product designer and cyclist. Their work gravitates toward the intersection of design and social equity. Bowen is a former Outride Ambassador, current Chamois Butt’r and Kuat Racks Ambassador, founder of Get Native Kids on Bikes, and a supporter of AIDS/LifeCycle. If not creating in their studio in Albuquerque, they are training for a cycling event or community building for a just, equitable future (more info)
Sat 12 – 5 PM Day Camp - A Festival for Families Tin Can Alley, 6013 Signal Ave NE Day Camp is where adventure meets education, creativity, and community in a fair-like environment where a variety of youth development organizations are excited to share their programs. In partnership with Warehouse 505, and featuring organizations such as Explora, there will be workshops ands expos for kids to discover new passions across music, art, science, and more. Supporting Youth Security & Education, all dedicated funds raised will be going to New Mexico non-profit organizations
Sat 12 – 5 PM Monthly Pinball Tournament Sister, 407 Central Ave NW All skill levels and players welcome! 21+ Sign up starts at 12 pm; tournament play starts at 1 p.m. Entry fee is $5 + coin drop
Sat 1 – 5 PM United in Beer Collaboration Festival Ex Novo Brewing, 4895 Corrales Rd., Corrales United in Beer is a New Mexico statewide collaborative beer festival that benefits the Somos Unidos Foundation with 26 participating breweries, which were randomly partnered through a live draft and then together selected the beer style they would collaborate on. All beers will be showcased at the festival. Tickets are limited. Portions of ticket sales will donated to Somos Unidos Foundation, a 501(c)(3) dedicated to creating positive outcomes for New Mexicans through art, sport, community, and unity. This will be a 21+ Event. Food trucks will be on site. Included with ticket purchase is: Festival access, 8 drink tokens, and a United In Beer glass! We recommend bringing: Sunscreen, your friends, and good vibes
Sat 1 – 10 PM Boots In The Park Presents Thomas Rhett, Chris Young & Friends! Balloon Fiesta Park, 5000 Balloon Fiesta Pkwy Dust off your boots and get ready to holler, because Boots In The Park is making it's way to Albuquerque, y'all! Join us for a rootin', tootin', two-steppin' good time with none other than Thomas Rhett, Chris Young, Chris Janson, Kameron Marlowe, Dylan Schneider, Leaving Austin and beats by Luwiss Lux. We're talking about an evening filled to the brim with live tunes, finger-lickin' craft food, and the smoothest cocktails. We'll be kicking up dust with some good ol' line dancing and a whole heap more, as Balloon Fiesta Park is transformed into Albuquerque's best country music party! Past folks to grace the Boots In The Park stage are Carrie Underwood, Blake Shelton, Tim McGraw, Cody Johnson, Jon Pardi and a bunch of other country legends. But this day is gonna be one for the record books, a show that will leave y'all talking for years to come (tickets)
Sat 2 PM Annual Castro Concerto Competition Albuquerque Youth Symphony, 4407 Menaul Blvd. NE Join us to hear talented high school juniors compete for the privilege of performing with the Youth Symphony during the Albuquerque Youth Symphony Program's 2024-2025 concert season! This event is free and open to the public. We also plan to stream this event live on Facebook for anyone not able to attend in person
Sat 2 PM "Greatest Moments" - a fundraising concert for Opera On Tap New Mexico Central United Methodist Church, 201 University Blvd. NE Join us for an afternoon of music to help raise money for Opera on Tap - New Mexico! Featuring some faculty and students of University of New Mexico, along with other local professionals, we have put a program together highlighting some of the show-stopping, beautiful moments of opera and musical theater! Suggested donation $10
Sat 2 – 7 PM Rawking: An Afternoon Metal + Art + Comedy Extravaganza Juno, 1501 1st St. NW Featured performers include Light Thief, Destroy to Recreate, Guvtika, Abandoned Saviors. outdoors on the patio with Four Bands, Comedians, Artists, Vendors. Produced by Metal World Radio. 21+. $10 at the door or presales online
Sat 3 – 8 PM Albuquerque Roller Derby presents: Sandia Slammers vs. Bosque Bruisers! Expo New Mexico - Manuel Lujan Jr Exhibit Complex, 300 San Pedro Dr. NE Albuquerque Roller Derby has gotten SO big we’ve split into two teams! Sandia Slammers & Bosque Bruisers! Get your tickets for our first Home Game of the 2024 season
Sat 3:45 – 5:45 PM AND 7 - 9 PM The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 Flix Brewhouse, 3236 La Orilla Rd. NW Experience the Twilight saga's epic romance and thrilling fantasy BREAKING DAWN - PART 1 on the big screen! Bella and Edward, plus those they love, must deal with the chain of consequences brought on by a marriage, honeymoon, and the tumultuous birth of a child, which brings about unforeseen and shocking developments for Jacob Black (tickets)
Sat 4 – 8 PM Drink Local Downtown ABQ - May Step into the heart of Albuquerque with our thrilling, free monthly bar crawl event! Immerse yourself in the local charm as we celebrate community, culture, and creativity right in the heart of ABQ. In partnership with ABQCore Neighborhood Association, a locally organized and hosted event, we're bringing you a bar crawl experience like no other. This isn't just a crawl; it's a vibrant celebration of local businesses, a showcase of community talent, and a monthly escape into the unique flavors that make ABQ special
Sat 4 – 9 PM Summer Market ABQ Food Park, 6951 San Antonio Dr. NE Dive into the magic of summer evenings at ABQ Food Park with our captivating Summer Market! Join us for a delightful evening, where you can browse an enchanting array of offerings from local artisans and support our vibrant community businesses. Discover unique treasures crafted with love and passion by talented artisans, from handcrafted jewelry to exquisite home decor. Every purchase you make supports local creators and contributes to the thriving arts scene in our city
Sat 5 – 8 PM National Astronomy Day! Rainbow Park Observatory, 301 Southern Blvd SE, Rio Rancho The Rio Rancho Astronomical Society will host National Astronomy Day at Rainbow Park Observatory. There will be food for a donation, family activities and safe solar viewing. Dr. Tony Hull will appeal at 7 pm about his work on the James Webb Space Telescope. He will also have some info on light pollution
Sat 5 – 11 PM Beer & Jazz on the Hill Tractor Brewing, 122 Tulane Dr. SE We're bringing you a full night of brews and Jazz with the very talented Rona & Meli opening things up at 5pm and our house Jazz band Basilaris Trio closing things down at 8!
Sat 6 PM Bear Affair 4: Spanish Tapas Beer Pairing Dinner Boxing Bear Brewing, 8420 Firestone Ln. NE Join us on our patio for an ALMOST summer night paired with a variety of our seasonal beers, chef-crafted Spanish tapas, and flamenco. Featuring chef Christopher Midyette And the artist dance group Spanish Broom. Tickets are $65 per person and include a welcome beer, three course tapas style meal with beer pairings and entertainment for the evening
Sat 6 PM One Year Anniversary Celebration Urbanmama505 Kombucha, 1014 Central Ave SW, Ste A Celebrating one year of love, abundance, and sharing wellness. Right after Open Mic 4-6pm, we will be graced with a jazz concert by Davis Nelson-Hooker, an amazing local musician. Elixirs and small plates for purchase
Sat 6 – 9 PM Gone Country Saturdays with DJ Soiree Ponderosa Brewing, 1761 Bellamah Ave NW It's Gone Country Saturdays featuring the amazing DJ Soiree! Start your evening with free dance lessons at 5 pm, followed by family-friendly entertainment
Sat 7:30 – 9 PM Saturday Night Stand-Up Bosque Brewing Co - Nob Hill, 106 Girard Blvd. SE Live from ABQ, it’s… Saturday Night Stand-Up Hosted by Nax Davis! Every third Saturday of the month! Seating at 7:30 - Comedy at 8. Featured line-up of local comics includes: MEG FINN, BRYAN LAMBE, SARINA OCHOA, MARY BYRD, ROBERT EYSTER
Sat 8 PM – 1:15 AM Apparition Goth Night Historic El Rey Theater, 622 Central Ave SW A hauntingly dark, classic goth night featuring the Apparition team: DJ Ren, DJ Batboy, DJ Moonside. Doors at 8. $10 all night. 21+ Tickets at the door. Expect goth, darkwave, death rock, synthpop, dark post punk, ebm, dark dance, industrial, witch house, horror punk and more
Sat 8:30 PM – 1 AM SABOR Latin Night - SATURDAYS Bama's 1865, 6007 Osuna Rd. NE May 11th - SPECIAL GUEST DJ ITALIA! DJ Gabriel Goza & DJ Pedro will be serving you the saucy Salsa, Bachata, Cumbia, Merengue y Mas! Ample Parking, Safe Environment, Beautiful Venue, Good Food, Good Music, Good Vibes. 21+ / $10 cover
Sat 9 PM – 1 AM Cumbia + Rock en Espanol Juno, 1501 1st St. NW Grupo Super Verza with Ave. 69 and Lot Beat and DJ Tony. Baila! 21+, $15 at the door or online
** Sun 5/19 *\*
Sun 9 – 11 AM Elevated Roller Derby May Training Scrimmage Heights Community Center, 823 Buena Vista Dr. SE Officials' huddle 9:00AM. Captains' meeting at 9:20AM. First whistle 9:30AM. This is simply a black/white scrimmage. It will be used as an educational opportunity. NSO paperwork will be used as appropriate. You are encouraged to stretch your skills. Hospitality: This is a low/no production scrimmage, bring beverages and snacks for your own use. Bathrooms: The community center may not be open during the scrimmage. (That's the trade-off for a free space). You can stop at the nearby Starbucks before the event. Expectations: Skaters and Skating and Non-skating Officials are expected to follow all WFTDA Risk Management Guidelines. The venue is a designated alcohol, drug, and smoke-free space by the city of Albuquerque (sign up)
Sun 10 AM – 2 PM The Great Burque Bake On Rail Yards Market, 777 1st St. SW Get ready to whisk it all at the "Great Burque Bake-on," a special fundraiser for the non-profit Rail Yards Market: One dozen of Albuquerque's most talented bakers will dough head-to-head in a crusty competition for the ultimate bakery glory! Bakers brawl... You vote for the winners! This sugar-dusted showdown promises a blend of flour-fueled drama and buttery bravado, making it the yeast you can do to support your local confectionery champions. As these culinary wizards knead their way to the top, we guarantee you'll find their efforts both batter and sweeter than anything you've tasted before. Join us for a day of laughter, pastry, and a chance to see who rises as the crème de la crème of Burque's baking scene! 1) ORDER > Claim your Bake-on Box & exclusive market swag by ordering online May 10-16th, 2024. 2) LEARN > Follow our social media to learn about each contestant & their offering. 3) PICKUP > Grab your box of baked goodies & swag at the info booth Sunday May 19th. 4) ENJOY > Eat all the delectable goodies, savor the flavor, and read about all the contestants 5) VOTE >> Submit your votes online to choose the winners! (tickets) The Farmers' Market event is going down simultaneously with 175+ local vendors to explore, and is still FREE to enter and welcome to all. This funky fundraiser is going down during the FREE Rail Yards Farmers' Market. So you can peruse 150+ small businesses and enjoy the historic architecture while you enjoy your Great Burque Bake-on Box of goodies! All proceeds will benefit the Rail Yards Market. The Rail Yards market of Albuquerque is a certified 501(c)3 non-profit focused on building a resilient, sustainable, local economy where the surrounding historic communities thrive, all can participate, and everyone is enriched and inspired. Through food, art, education, and music, we invite the community together in an inclusive and festive atmosphere
Sun 11:30 AM The Addams Family Historic Lobo Theater, 3013 Central Ave NE THE HISTORIC LOBO THEATER is excited to bring The Addams Family to the big screen! Showing Starts at 11:30 am Tickets are ONLY $10 for General Admission $25 Brunch and a Movie Ticket $21 Brunch Only ticket
Sun 12:30 PM Annual Spring Tea Asbury UMC, 10000 Candelaria Rd. NE All are welcome to attend our Annual Spring Tea! This year's theme is "The Tapestries of Our Lives." Life can be like a tapestry; our quilt, with events, feelings, accomplishments, and even disappointments "stitched" in. Join us, for tea, while Cindy Kurey, AQS-certified quilted textiles appraiser, shares how quilting and her faith have helped her navigate life. She will also show her collection of antique, vintage, and modern quilts! There is no cost to attend, though RSVPs are required. Please call the church office 505-299-0643 or message us on Facebook to RSVP
Sun 1 PM Ruck Club May Callout - Rain Ruck North Domingo Baca Park, 8301 Wyoming Blvd. NE Since we are in Albuquerque, we will get creative to find water. No weight requirement; use your regular training weight. We will be rucking at least 5 miles. Hosted by F3 Albuquerque, which plants free, peer-led workout groups for men, but this event isn't just for men! Everybody is welcomed and encouraged to participate in this GORUCK monthly callout. Bring water, electrolytes, sunscreen. Expect to get wet, and dress accordingly
Sun 2 - 4 PM Film Screening: "Between the Stone and the Flower" JCC of Greater Albuquerque, 5520 Wyoming Blvd. NE The film follows the journey of Genie of Milgrom and her decades long quest for her Jewish lineage inspired the film. She was born in Havana, Cuba and raised in Miami as a full Catholic. She was always burdened with a deep-rooted feeling of not belonging in her Spanish Catholic environment. Genie becomes more and more convinced that her family was Jewish in the Iberian Peninsula centuries before. Intro and Q&A with Filmmaker, Genie Milgrom (register for free)
Sun 2 – 3:30 PM Cuidando los Niños Fundraiser Cookie Class Sweet Pea Bakery, 2500 Central Ave SW Join us for a fun night out while making an impact in our community! Light House Studio and Sweet Pea Bakery are teaming up to host a cookie decorating class to benefit Cuidando los Ninos. This will be a full 1.5 hour class where local cookie artist Katie Sacoman walks you through decorating three floral themed sugar cookies. Each participant also receives a personalized cookie with their name on it. 50% of each ticket sold goes to benefit Cuidando los Ninos, a local organization working to break the cycle of homelessness for children and families by providing high-quality early childhood education, case management, supportive housing, and parent education. *This class will be good for participants age 10 and up. Please keep in mind it is an hour and a half long guided class. You know your child best!*
2024.05.15 14:33 jawismyworstenemy Possible third round--documenting journey
Just unloading my story here as I'm about to reach out to my orthodontist as I've been unhappy with my current results, both for aesthetic and physical reasons. I really appreciate anyone who can relate or give advice, but otherwise, just want to document my experience. I've had a long struggle with not only my teeth but also my TMJ.
Currently: It's been 2 years since I finished my Invisalign and I wasn't happy with the results even once my treatment finished, but I thought it was just because my teeth themself were small and not great looking and that I should just live with it, but now am realizing I liked my teeth more before so maybe it wasn't the best Invisalign job.
My current concerns with my teeth are
I got my first round of Invisalign when I was 18, which I also hoped would address my TMJ problems. When it was done I was super happy with the results aesthetically, I loved to smile! But I was still having major TMJ and jaw muscle pain. After a few months I went to get an opinion from a dentist who said they specialize in TMD, and they pointed out that even though I'd had Invisalign, my back teeth weren't touching. It was true, my teeth only actually touched in like one place on each side lol. They referred me to a different orthodontist. I trusted their opinion a lot, so I thought, sure I'll go to a new orthodontist, my old one must have been an idiot to finish my Invisalign treatment when my teeth didn't even touch!
So I started my second round of Invisalign with a new orthodontist. Things seemed fine and dandy--unfortunately my treatment got interrupted my COVID which might have caused some complications, but ultimately I finished the round of Invisalign after two years. During treatment I had an issue where my jaw got really sore only when I wore the bottom retainer, but I just wore it at night and I think it was fine. But by the end of the treatment, I thought my teeth looked worse. I wasn't happy like I was after my first round of Invisalign. However, I initially thought this was because my teeth were just decaying (I'd had issues with a sensitivity and exposed dentin during that time) and they were smaller now and would never look as good. Hopefully that's not the case! I also have the issues mentioned above which I think are actually concerning beyond aesthetics.
I will see my orthodontist again and hopefully we'll be able to do something so I feel more comfortable with my teeth--I'm hoping my plan covers stuff like this for an extended amount of time so that I don't have to pay all over again. For my TMJ, I also just had a sleep study done since I do clench my teeth at night, and will see about those results in a few weeks. I also just started physically therapy. Hopefully things will look up for me--my TMJ and teeth problems are so disruptive to my life. They prevent me from focusing, and my jaw gets so sore sometimes that I don't even want to talk, and if I do my jaw spazzes and clicks and looks gross. Hoping for the best for myself!!
Thank you very much for reading if you got to the end.
TL;DR going back to my orthodontist after 2 years because unhappy with Invisalign results, also starting different treatment options for TMJ. hoping to see an upward climb from here in my TMJ/teeth journey!!
submitted by jawismyworstenemy to Invisalign [link] [comments]
Currently: It's been 2 years since I finished my Invisalign and I wasn't happy with the results even once my treatment finished, but I thought it was just because my teeth themself were small and not great looking and that I should just live with it, but now am realizing I liked my teeth more before so maybe it wasn't the best Invisalign job.
My current concerns with my teeth are
- They're not very straight. One mark of this for me is that when I look at the bite mark of my top teeth, there's a wide angle between my front two teeth. Also my bite is not centered--the center of my top front two teeth doesn't match up with the bottom.
- I had a problem that I didn't before this round of Invisalign, which is having a lot of saliva and getting caught on my tongue when saying words with the letter S. I don't know how exactly to describe it, but for words like "scared" or "skate", my tongue sometimes gets kinda caught and you'll hear the saliva bubbling up, gross lol!
- My teeth are very short from being ground down due to bruxism and I think my Invisalign pulled them back even more--I can feel that when I bite, my jaw closes more than before
- I've had TMJ problems for most of my life which I hoped the Invisalign would help with. I thought they might have helped a bit but ultimately I think they've made it worse--for all my life it's just been my left jaw joint that clicks and gets sore, but after this round of Invisalign I sometimes have clicking and pain in my right jaw joint :(
I got my first round of Invisalign when I was 18, which I also hoped would address my TMJ problems. When it was done I was super happy with the results aesthetically, I loved to smile! But I was still having major TMJ and jaw muscle pain. After a few months I went to get an opinion from a dentist who said they specialize in TMD, and they pointed out that even though I'd had Invisalign, my back teeth weren't touching. It was true, my teeth only actually touched in like one place on each side lol. They referred me to a different orthodontist. I trusted their opinion a lot, so I thought, sure I'll go to a new orthodontist, my old one must have been an idiot to finish my Invisalign treatment when my teeth didn't even touch!
So I started my second round of Invisalign with a new orthodontist. Things seemed fine and dandy--unfortunately my treatment got interrupted my COVID which might have caused some complications, but ultimately I finished the round of Invisalign after two years. During treatment I had an issue where my jaw got really sore only when I wore the bottom retainer, but I just wore it at night and I think it was fine. But by the end of the treatment, I thought my teeth looked worse. I wasn't happy like I was after my first round of Invisalign. However, I initially thought this was because my teeth were just decaying (I'd had issues with a sensitivity and exposed dentin during that time) and they were smaller now and would never look as good. Hopefully that's not the case! I also have the issues mentioned above which I think are actually concerning beyond aesthetics.
I will see my orthodontist again and hopefully we'll be able to do something so I feel more comfortable with my teeth--I'm hoping my plan covers stuff like this for an extended amount of time so that I don't have to pay all over again. For my TMJ, I also just had a sleep study done since I do clench my teeth at night, and will see about those results in a few weeks. I also just started physically therapy. Hopefully things will look up for me--my TMJ and teeth problems are so disruptive to my life. They prevent me from focusing, and my jaw gets so sore sometimes that I don't even want to talk, and if I do my jaw spazzes and clicks and looks gross. Hoping for the best for myself!!
Thank you very much for reading if you got to the end.
TL;DR going back to my orthodontist after 2 years because unhappy with Invisalign results, also starting different treatment options for TMJ. hoping to see an upward climb from here in my TMJ/teeth journey!!
2024.05.15 05:51 MembershipContent556 What would you do?
I am a trans chick, 29 F. I had started taking hormones when I was 23, then when I was 28 I stopped taking hormones for 6 months for medical reasons and have been back on them for 3 months.
This girl I knew from elementary/middle school, 29 F, when I was a cis boy, well we recently started talking again so what 15 years later. Anyways. We were talking for about a month as friends then we started getting feelings for each other so I figured I should probably tell her I'm trans. She was like can I ask some questions without seeming rude then eventually she said she's historically only dated men so let's stick to friends I was like okay. A few days go by of us not talking after that but then she hit me up and was like hey sorry id like to keep talking if that's okay? And we kept talking everyday for like 2 more months.
Other than her saying let's stick to friends that one time, she seemed interested in me. For example, we were talking about how dates are stupid because people try to hide their faults to seem perfect, if I'm going to date someone I want to know their faults up front. She agreed then asked me what my faults were. We made plans to go to some concert and camp in August so figured we should probably hang out before that.
So We finally hung out after like 3 months of talking. She never said if it was a date or not but we walked her dog, went out to eat some lunch, went to her favorite book thrift store, went back to her house and talked for a couple hours then played some Mario kart for a while then it was 1am and I went home, seemed like it went really well I didn't want to make a move being unsure of her feelings, I respect her. I thought well seems like we really clicked, I wasn't sure if I liked her before cuz we hadn't hung out yet but after hanging out I was pretty sure I liked her. I thought I should wait for her to message me since she is the one that never clarified her feelings.
After 4 days of not hearing from her I hit her up and was like hey I had a good time hanging out the other day. I know you're busy but we should hang out again sometime soon. And then 7 hours later(which is odd for us, we've been talking for a few months everyday) I get a reply saying yeah we can figure out a time. And I said sweet. So we hung out not last Saturday but the Saturday before, I messaged her that Wednesday, it's now been like 10 days and I haven't heard anything which is weird for us. We usually Talk everyday.
So I'm really confused. Like why did she reply and say we can figure out a time but never responded or hasn't hit me up since. She could have said she's not interested or lets just stay friends or just not replied. We're super open and honest with each other. Should I be taking a hint and moving on? Am I supposed to reach out again? Even though I don't want to seem to eager, and I figure if she wants to talk she will hit me up. Idk.
Backstory, about 6 months ago I was in a relationship with a girl I had dated in highschool for 2 years. We got back together after 10 years. We had lived together for about a year. Her dad died and she got 150k and her and my best friend of 15 years left town together and I never heard from them again. The thing is I tried really hard for those two people and never once said anything bad, like I was a good friend and partner. And those were the two people that aren't family that I was closest to. So to be so betrayed by people I trust most and made sure to keep them in my life through the years, I just question my judgement and think I try to hard to keep people in my life because I care about them but that doesn't mean they care about me. So I don't want to try so hard for people anymore, id rather let people try for me so I know who to let stick around. What would you do?
TL;DR
submitted by MembershipContent556 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
This girl I knew from elementary/middle school, 29 F, when I was a cis boy, well we recently started talking again so what 15 years later. Anyways. We were talking for about a month as friends then we started getting feelings for each other so I figured I should probably tell her I'm trans. She was like can I ask some questions without seeming rude then eventually she said she's historically only dated men so let's stick to friends I was like okay. A few days go by of us not talking after that but then she hit me up and was like hey sorry id like to keep talking if that's okay? And we kept talking everyday for like 2 more months.
Other than her saying let's stick to friends that one time, she seemed interested in me. For example, we were talking about how dates are stupid because people try to hide their faults to seem perfect, if I'm going to date someone I want to know their faults up front. She agreed then asked me what my faults were. We made plans to go to some concert and camp in August so figured we should probably hang out before that.
So We finally hung out after like 3 months of talking. She never said if it was a date or not but we walked her dog, went out to eat some lunch, went to her favorite book thrift store, went back to her house and talked for a couple hours then played some Mario kart for a while then it was 1am and I went home, seemed like it went really well I didn't want to make a move being unsure of her feelings, I respect her. I thought well seems like we really clicked, I wasn't sure if I liked her before cuz we hadn't hung out yet but after hanging out I was pretty sure I liked her. I thought I should wait for her to message me since she is the one that never clarified her feelings.
After 4 days of not hearing from her I hit her up and was like hey I had a good time hanging out the other day. I know you're busy but we should hang out again sometime soon. And then 7 hours later(which is odd for us, we've been talking for a few months everyday) I get a reply saying yeah we can figure out a time. And I said sweet. So we hung out not last Saturday but the Saturday before, I messaged her that Wednesday, it's now been like 10 days and I haven't heard anything which is weird for us. We usually Talk everyday.
So I'm really confused. Like why did she reply and say we can figure out a time but never responded or hasn't hit me up since. She could have said she's not interested or lets just stay friends or just not replied. We're super open and honest with each other. Should I be taking a hint and moving on? Am I supposed to reach out again? Even though I don't want to seem to eager, and I figure if she wants to talk she will hit me up. Idk.
Backstory, about 6 months ago I was in a relationship with a girl I had dated in highschool for 2 years. We got back together after 10 years. We had lived together for about a year. Her dad died and she got 150k and her and my best friend of 15 years left town together and I never heard from them again. The thing is I tried really hard for those two people and never once said anything bad, like I was a good friend and partner. And those were the two people that aren't family that I was closest to. So to be so betrayed by people I trust most and made sure to keep them in my life through the years, I just question my judgement and think I try to hard to keep people in my life because I care about them but that doesn't mean they care about me. So I don't want to try so hard for people anymore, id rather let people try for me so I know who to let stick around. What would you do?
TL;DR
2024.05.15 03:50 randobread Late 20s boyfriend refuses to critically think. Resources please.
Edit: I have gotten dozens of responses, many of which have been a ton of unhelpful guesses as to the positives of the relationship, or berating me for having this question, but no one seems to have resources for building and developing critical thinking skills. If you are unable to provide resources to critical thinking tools, it would be significantly more helpful that you say nothing instead of everything else under the sun. Even feel free to create your own thread about me if you want, but I am specifically looking for resources and I’ve gotten nothing relevant to that specifically. I don’t believe these resources don’t exist, and I believed reddit would have someone able to help find those. I can appreciate wanting to help with broader problems, but if you don’t have the resources I’m asking for help finding please save the life advice and psychoanalysis for my own therapist thank you🙏🏽
ADHD is not an excuse. I (27f) have very severe ADHD and I know that he(27m) has ADHD as well, but the problem is that my boyfriend is too lazy to critically think or reflect on anything. I know this topic is full of similar posts about a loving, attentive, well-meaning boyfriend who just seems to lack common sense and critical thinking skills, but the conclusion of those posts tends to universally be “he has ADHD and medication”. I’m a clinical psychologist. Again, I have adhd as well and while I understand we all have different levels of executive function and varying abilities to complete tasks, my boyfriend has expressly made laziness part of his identity. Any time I ask him to do any task (big, small, 1-step, 4-steps, immediately, tomorrow, anything) he says “that’s too much work”. And it’s not about me because that’s his reaction to anyone. If he’s playing a game with his friends and they suggest he grab an extra weapon he will definitely need, he says “eh, that’s work”, and will literally die in the game rather than do those extra steps. So when it comes down to behaving like a complete idiot when put in the position to critically think or reflect on information, he will just not. He was raised by an idiot misogynistic unmotivated father and his mother who is a hard workeseems to think for them both and I think i might have to break up with him before i end up living a similar life. And it’s extremely difficult because even as a grown man he worships his father and blames his mother for their recent divorce because “why couldnt she just be happy instead of constantly trying to push his father to do more and more”. He doesnt see that his father is an idiot nor that his mother should have left him longggg ago. So as a result he lives life with no critical thought like his father and (as another redditor so well put it) just does things based on what he feels would be a good choice instead of taking 10 seconds to think about what to do. His father has convinced this grown man that “as long as you tried, you did it. It doesnt matter if there were directions or a specific intended goal, just trying anything at all is more than enough effort for him”. And that is incorrect 100% of the time.
For example: I visit his house and have to clean the shower before i get in because its typically dirty. One time i was unable to finish the cleaning, only able to sprinkle the comet around. I asked him to finish cleaning it for me and he just rinsed all the cleaner off. Didnt think to use the scrubber or any other sort of cleaning tool, just rinsed it all off. Was there a single reflective thought about the resulting appearance of the shower? No. Because he did what i asked at all so he must have done it correctly- I’m just being picky.
We’ve had many conversations about this. He’s cried because it seems like “no matter what he does he cant do anything right” and while i would never want him to feel like an objective failure, I WISH I COULD DISAGREE AND HIGHLIGHT THINGS THAT HE DOES IN FACT DO CORRECTLY. He takes any criticism as a personal attack, which deeply emotionally hurts hum. On top of that, he always dismisses me and my concerns as being picky which hurts MY feelings because what the fuck makes you just know that everything on earth just has no correct way to do it or intended outcome? If I tell you to feed the dogs, why not change their water too? Yes there is still technically water in their bowl from 24 hours ago, but its less than a half inch deep and WHO DOESNT NEED FRESH WATER ON A DAILY BASIS? What one organism? Please tell me because the way i have had this specific conversation with him so many times and he still refuses to change their water ultimately makes me feel like im crazy. The time it takes to refill water (not even with the bare minimum expectation of washing out the used bowl which would of course be too much) is about 20 seconds more than just feeding them. And this doesnt stop with household tasks, those just come to mind easily but the overall issue is a refusal to participate in critical thinking. If I want him to complete a task completely, i need to give him specific directions, usually in writing, as well as a verbal reminder again immediately before he does it or else he will completely forget any directions and just do whatever tf he feels like doing which usually messes up some plan. Like the others, I love him and he is a very loving person and partner, but I wanted to know if there were any sort of courses or apps to look to for basic critical thinking development. The process of using multiple sources of information to solve problems, thinking about the best option of the ones you have, and how to plan anything at all are skills that I remember learning and practicing in elementary school. So I’m hoping there are any resources not focused on phonetic reading or something that I could direct him to/work on with him. As a literal clinical psychologist the ADHD is only prt of the problem but the lifelong atrophy of problem-solving skills is not something medication will address. Individual counseling can help with the self esteem which certainly plays a part, but learning how to put a square peg in a square hole instead of slamming it into every hole there is until it works is something he (and a lot of these other men trained to be thoughtless meat bags) needs more than anything. Sorry I’m SO angry about a specific conflict earlier this afternoon so I know my tone is reflecting that but JFC i need help and yall are the last resource I have confidence in.
We’ve discussed weaponized incompetence, he clearly makes more effort on the specific tasks i highlight to him, but not enough progress globally.
TL;DR: Man refuses to think because his dad told him that’s dumb and extra work. Resources used to teach critical thinking skills to children please. I dont want to leave him but might need to if nothing helps.
submitted by randobread to relationships [link] [comments]
ADHD is not an excuse. I (27f) have very severe ADHD and I know that he(27m) has ADHD as well, but the problem is that my boyfriend is too lazy to critically think or reflect on anything. I know this topic is full of similar posts about a loving, attentive, well-meaning boyfriend who just seems to lack common sense and critical thinking skills, but the conclusion of those posts tends to universally be “he has ADHD and medication”. I’m a clinical psychologist. Again, I have adhd as well and while I understand we all have different levels of executive function and varying abilities to complete tasks, my boyfriend has expressly made laziness part of his identity. Any time I ask him to do any task (big, small, 1-step, 4-steps, immediately, tomorrow, anything) he says “that’s too much work”. And it’s not about me because that’s his reaction to anyone. If he’s playing a game with his friends and they suggest he grab an extra weapon he will definitely need, he says “eh, that’s work”, and will literally die in the game rather than do those extra steps. So when it comes down to behaving like a complete idiot when put in the position to critically think or reflect on information, he will just not. He was raised by an idiot misogynistic unmotivated father and his mother who is a hard workeseems to think for them both and I think i might have to break up with him before i end up living a similar life. And it’s extremely difficult because even as a grown man he worships his father and blames his mother for their recent divorce because “why couldnt she just be happy instead of constantly trying to push his father to do more and more”. He doesnt see that his father is an idiot nor that his mother should have left him longggg ago. So as a result he lives life with no critical thought like his father and (as another redditor so well put it) just does things based on what he feels would be a good choice instead of taking 10 seconds to think about what to do. His father has convinced this grown man that “as long as you tried, you did it. It doesnt matter if there were directions or a specific intended goal, just trying anything at all is more than enough effort for him”. And that is incorrect 100% of the time.
For example: I visit his house and have to clean the shower before i get in because its typically dirty. One time i was unable to finish the cleaning, only able to sprinkle the comet around. I asked him to finish cleaning it for me and he just rinsed all the cleaner off. Didnt think to use the scrubber or any other sort of cleaning tool, just rinsed it all off. Was there a single reflective thought about the resulting appearance of the shower? No. Because he did what i asked at all so he must have done it correctly- I’m just being picky.
We’ve had many conversations about this. He’s cried because it seems like “no matter what he does he cant do anything right” and while i would never want him to feel like an objective failure, I WISH I COULD DISAGREE AND HIGHLIGHT THINGS THAT HE DOES IN FACT DO CORRECTLY. He takes any criticism as a personal attack, which deeply emotionally hurts hum. On top of that, he always dismisses me and my concerns as being picky which hurts MY feelings because what the fuck makes you just know that everything on earth just has no correct way to do it or intended outcome? If I tell you to feed the dogs, why not change their water too? Yes there is still technically water in their bowl from 24 hours ago, but its less than a half inch deep and WHO DOESNT NEED FRESH WATER ON A DAILY BASIS? What one organism? Please tell me because the way i have had this specific conversation with him so many times and he still refuses to change their water ultimately makes me feel like im crazy. The time it takes to refill water (not even with the bare minimum expectation of washing out the used bowl which would of course be too much) is about 20 seconds more than just feeding them. And this doesnt stop with household tasks, those just come to mind easily but the overall issue is a refusal to participate in critical thinking. If I want him to complete a task completely, i need to give him specific directions, usually in writing, as well as a verbal reminder again immediately before he does it or else he will completely forget any directions and just do whatever tf he feels like doing which usually messes up some plan. Like the others, I love him and he is a very loving person and partner, but I wanted to know if there were any sort of courses or apps to look to for basic critical thinking development. The process of using multiple sources of information to solve problems, thinking about the best option of the ones you have, and how to plan anything at all are skills that I remember learning and practicing in elementary school. So I’m hoping there are any resources not focused on phonetic reading or something that I could direct him to/work on with him. As a literal clinical psychologist the ADHD is only prt of the problem but the lifelong atrophy of problem-solving skills is not something medication will address. Individual counseling can help with the self esteem which certainly plays a part, but learning how to put a square peg in a square hole instead of slamming it into every hole there is until it works is something he (and a lot of these other men trained to be thoughtless meat bags) needs more than anything. Sorry I’m SO angry about a specific conflict earlier this afternoon so I know my tone is reflecting that but JFC i need help and yall are the last resource I have confidence in.
We’ve discussed weaponized incompetence, he clearly makes more effort on the specific tasks i highlight to him, but not enough progress globally.
TL;DR: Man refuses to think because his dad told him that’s dumb and extra work. Resources used to teach critical thinking skills to children please. I dont want to leave him but might need to if nothing helps.
2024.05.15 01:12 Evening-Parsley2112 Narc mother asks for help with monster brother after 8 years of NC
So this is a long one. Like, I'm going back over it and damn. This is longer than I thought it would be. Throwaway account, I've only made one other post to this relating to what's going on. Instead of updating the other post, I figured I'd make a separate one about the whole shit show I experienced, and the shit circus I uncovered and avoided. I'll try to keep this in as chronological an order as I can.
As the title says, my abusive/narc mom and pos/delusional/golden child brother started trying to reach out to me a few months ago wanting to make amends and build bridges with me again. There were a few people that commented on my previous post in another subreddit that may be a little disappointed in me for how I handled this, and a few that might enjoy that I handled it the way I did. Someone commented to not let them use my good nature. My nature is dependent on who I'm dealing with, and when it comes to that side of my family, I'm more stick than carrot. So their attempts did not go ignored, and did not go unpunished.
Growing up, I was always closer with my Dad than my mom. My brother was the epitome of "pampered mamma's boy". He started having seizures as a child and was diagnosed with epilepsy, which I thought was why my mom babied the absolute fuck out of him long into adulthood. He would go a year or 2 without any seizures, and then there would be a few months where he'd be having them every other day. At Anytime he got in trouble at home or school, my mom would find a way to blame me, for not making sure he knew whatever he was doing would get him in trouble, or she would blame my dad for not being "involved enough in their baby's life." My dad was in the Navy and I remember any time he'd deploy, I'd dread every day until he came back. My brother would taunt me that he knew whatever he did, I'd be the one to get in trouble for it. My dad would always make things up for me when he got back from his deployments though. We'd often have weekend trips just the 2 of us. And then around my 12th birthday, my mom insisted on sitting us all down and explain to that she and my dad were getting a divorce. We got the whole talk about how they still love us and they just can't be together anymore, etc. my dad told us both that he still loved us and he would be there for us whenever we needed him. He explained that he would be moving out, but he would be by to pick us up to spend the weekends with us. I was nervous and honestly scared of what it would be like without him. But I was looking forward to the weekend when I got to see him again. That never happened though, and that was the last time I ever got to see him.
Right before his weekend with us, my mom explained to us that my dad didn't want anything to do with us anymore. There was some news story about a father that killed his kids when he had custody of them and she used that to terrify my brother and convince him that our dad wanted to kill us to start his life over. We left damn near everything behind and moved in with my mom's brother in Florida (from Virginia) a couple days before my dad was supposed to come get us. After that, she went to great lengths to make sure we had no contact from him.
Years went on, my mom seemed more indifferent towards me than ever. She never seemed interested in anything I did unless my brother also seemed interested in it. She didn't show any interest in my wanting to learn guitar until my brother also showed interest in it. Then we got one guitar that we had to share, I'd take lessons on the condition that I taught my brother whatever I learned in them. My brother eventually wound up breaking the guitar and I was blamed for not storing it in the case it came with. I had to share my N64 with him whenever he wanted to play it. I was playing perfect dark one day and having a hard time killing the skedar leader at the end of the game. My brother burst into the room saying he wanted to play his MegaMan game, to which I just replied "give me a minute, this boss fight is hard, once I'm done you can have your turn" He didn't like that. He left the room and came back with a hammer and smashed the console while I was still playing. My fault for not letting him play it. The only thing I had that he could not use was a pair of roller blades my aunt got me for my 14th birthday. I specifically asked for roller blades to get around instead of a bike because my brother and I had different shoe sizes, so he couldn't wear them Because of constant shit like that, I never really put much value in having things growing up. I didnt want to buy something or get something as a gift just to have it fucked up in a few weeks or months. At some point, my "little" brother became the larger one, so my clothes all became "hand-me-ups" as he outgrew everything. So, because I didn't really have any distractions at home, I turned into a high achieving student, rarely got in trouble. made the honor roll all throughout school. But that wasn't something to celebrate as it was expected of me. I had long since decided that I was moving out as soon as I could once I turn 18. I got a job working at a Walgreens as soon as I could and started saving up for a car. My mom however took issue with this and would never agree to take me looking for one and absolutely refused to ever have it put on her insurance. This is where my Aunt comes in. She and her son are the only 2 on my mom's side that aren't some sort of degenerate. She had her son young, but put herself through college while raising him alone and eventually got her MBA and a cushy upper corporate job. She told me to tell my mom I had to go in to work on one of my days off, that she would pick me up and she would take me car shopping. So that's what we did. I couldn't quite afford a cash car, but she helped me with the financing. I put down what I had as the down payment, the arrangement she made with me was that 1- as long as I was in school, she would cover the insurance and payments for me, however, if I got into an accident, I was responsible for paying the deductable. And 2- as long as i was living with my mom, the car remained in her (Aunt's) name. And if anything happened to it, to let her know so she could get the appropriate authorities involved. My mom was PISSED when she found out I now had a car. Her reasoning (that she said in front of my aunt) was that she didn't think it was fair for one of us-either me or my brother- to have something the other couldn't use. Due to him being 13 and having epilepsy, he couldn't drive, so why should i have a car if my brother doesn't? That turned into a long shouting match between my mom and Aunt that basically ended with my aunt explaining that since it was her car, and all paperwork on her name, I was just on the insurance for it so I could drive it. But if anything at all happened to it while I was living at my Mom's, that the police and insurance companies would get involved. My mom still kept track of all the miles on the car to "make sure I was only going to work and school and wherever she told me I could go". Most of the time, when I hung out with friends, I wasn't the one driving. From that that point though, my mindset was very much "keep my head down and nose clean until I can leave." I graduated a month before my 18th birthday. After graduation, my mom and i got into an argument about me contributing to her bills. I eventually dropped the ball that I planned on getting back in touch with my Dad and leaving. She started laughing. Something about that laugh made me really uncomfortable. She then said "well, you can certainly meet up with him whenever you want! I'll supply the gun if you buy the bullet!" And told me my dad had died when I was 15. That. Fucking. Broke. Me. Later that night, i called my best friend and vented everything to him. He was in the DEP program for the Navy and would be shipping out in a few months, he told me to come by first thing in the morning and talk with him and his parents about the whole situation. I basically packed up all of my clothes and left the day after my 18th birthday. I just left my house key and a note that said "I'm not your problem anymore." I couch surfed for a little while until after my best friend left for boot camp, then I was able to move in and live with his parents (chosen parents basically). My only real rules were keep the house and my space clean and make sure I had a job and/or going to school. I spent a few months mourning my dad and kind of in a haze. Since he was in the Navy though, that meant I was reliable for financial aid for school. My second dad helped me get everything put together to start receiving that so I could start college.
Well, after a couple years of this, my brother, who had spent his time at school more as "forced socializing" instead of learning, was expelled from public schools for allegedly setting off a fire extinguisher in a classroom. He had to enroll at an alternative school called "the drop back-in academy" that was specifically for dropouts or anyone that got the boot from the public school system. My mom reached out to me and asked me if I would drive him to this school in the mornings, she'd pick him up in the afternoons, and she'd pay me $20 a week.I agreed to it thinking this was out of character for her, but she surprisingly held up to that agreement. I drove him for a couple years until I was ready to start my bachelor program. My second parents were getting ready to move back to their hometown and I was going to start school on the other side of the city. So, I was moving to that side of town and couldn't really drive out of my way to pick up and drop off my brother anymore. He continued his enrollment at this place for another 3 years (5 years total) and it turned out, he was never attending. I would drop his ass off there every day and he'd just walk home immediately after I pulled out of the parking lot. He'd just tell my mom that he finished his work early and decided to walk home instead of wait around for her. One afternoon, I'm coming home early from work and my brother is just sitting on the steps to my studio apartment. He tells me that he and our mom got into a really big argument and he needs a place to stay. I (reluctantly) let him in. I'm stuck thinking he must be really desperate if he's coming to me for help. But I start thinking at this point, he's 24, jobless, and probably needs to learn some self discipline and responsibility, and our mom just never did that for him. So I try to help. I ask him what their fight was about and he tells me that he started dating this girl at his alternative school. She was 21 and got the boot from the school system for being too old to attend (we actually have several relatives that were kicked out of the school system for the same reason) and that he accidentally got her pregnant and our mom did not take kindly to that. I called my landlord and explained the situation to him. He was okay with it, so I let him crash on my couch for a little bit (until the end of my lease, then I'd be moving) and just told him to clean up after himself, take care of himself, etc until we could all work this out. He crashed there for a few months and did Jack shit. He would complain that I didn't have a computer for him to use (I only had a laptop I bought for school) and I didn't have any video game consoles for him to entertain himself with. So he was stuck there bored all day. I got tired of the complaining and lack of effort and told him he had to go back to our mom's if he wasn't going to be an adult. We started shouting at each other until he dropped this little bombshell. He yelled "I can't go back to Mom's!" And when I asked why, he just blurted out "because it's to close to that elementary school!" That stopped the whole thing. "And why is that a big deal now?" I asked him. I already knew why that would be the problem, but 1% of me was holding onto the hope that he was got jumped by a gang of 5th graders and the trauma was too much for him to bear. I told him he could either tell me what's going on, or I could make a phone call and get every last detail I needed. He confessed that he had been leaving that school and going over to his "girlfriend's" house and waiting for her to get home. And that one day, her mom ended up catching them in the act. I explained to him that he was leaving out important details if that was the reason he couldn't be near a school.
He told me she was 14, not 21. I. Lost. My. Shit. Everything after that is kinda fuzzy, but he was arrested, mom posted bail, and since she lived right around the corner from an elementary school, he couldn't stay there. So they told his parole officer that he'd be staying at my address until his court date.. his PO had swung by a couple times, but I was always either at work or school or out somewhere. At this point, I told him the lease was up in 6 weeks, I couldn't stand to be around him. I packed my stuff early, moved out into a storage unit, and I stayed at an extended stay hotel until it was time for me to move. Called my landlord and told him what was going on, and if my brother was still there the last week of the lease, nail him for trespassing. My landlord was a good guy. I never had any problems with him. I paid up the last 6 weeks and threw him since extra cash for his troubles as I knew I wouldn't be getting my deposit back. That was the last time I saw my brother. After I moved out of state, I cut all contact with everyone in that family except my Aunt who was the only one that ever helped me out or even had my back. But even then, it was just through email. We'd mainly email birthday and holiday wishes to each other. Updates from my side on how life and career are going.
I never had a myspace or a Facebook growing up. I either never had a computer to check it on, or I was just so accustomed to not having any online distractions that I just never got around to making one. I did finally make a Facebook and I did get in touch with my dad's side of the family and reconnected with them. I hadn't seem most of them since I was 4 or 5. Some of them had been in contact with my brother (he fucking knew our dad died) and was spinning some sort of web about how he graduated high school early, had gone to college for pre-med and then got some sort of full ride scholarship to some prestigious medical school in Florida. He told them I wasn't on social media because I had been arrested for selling drugs and that he was taking me in after I got released. He was also using my senior portrait as a profile pic. They were surprised when they saw me and how I "looked just like my brother!" I had set the record straight. They looked dumbfounded when I told them that he couldn't get himself out of the 9th grade in 10 years, and now would likely never complete his high school journey due to the fact he can't be within 100 yards of a school.
So, fast forward to last week. I checked my email for the first time since late January (for my aunt's birthday) and noticed a few from her saying my mom wanted to reach out, then several emails from a new address. It was my mom's first initial and last name. Subject lines usually read "please respond" and "let me know you're okay" and stuff like that. I'd copy some of them over, but holy shit this is already a novella. Basically she got my email address from sneaking my aunt's phone (aunt did not sell me out). She's trying to apologize for how she treated me growing up and trying to excuse it by saying I reminded her of my dad and then she was going through menopause and just any excuse to dishes full accountability it seems. She acknowledges that it was wrong to hold me accountable for my brother's fuck-ups but dismisses that by saying he didn't know any better and she needed me to be a good role model for him. Things have been hard for her since I left, since she "had" to take my brother back in (I would've left him on the street or in jail), she had to sell her house (she was only 10 years into her mortgage) and buy another smaller one further from a school for him. He never did get a hs diploma or GED because how can he? And she's been going through breast cancer treatment for the last several months and just doesn't have the energy to take care of her 33yo baby anymore. She asked me if I lived close enough to them to take him in for a little bit while she focuses on her health. I left Florida 8 years ago and haven't even lived in the same time zone in 6 years. She can only check her email at work since she no longer has Internet at home. She had to cancel her home Internet service because of him. So, I decided to just put my brother's name into a search bar and the first thing that pops up is a FDLE sex offender's page. And holy shit has he gone downhill. He had a second arrest when he was 27 for the same thing, and then was caught in communications with another girl (like Chris Hansen sting) and was released from prison at the beginning of the year. And the mugshot.... You know the pale lady from the scary stories to tell in the dark movie? Think that, but with a patchy beard. Beady eyes, bad skin and all. According to the sheriff's office inmate search, he's been arrested 5 times in the last 10 years. Twice for lewd and lascivious battery of a minor (aged 12-15), once for solicitation of a minor, and twice for probation violations.
The TL/DR: abusive mom took all her frustrations out on me, blamed me for everything my brother did, hid my father's death from me until I was almost 18, and reaches out after 8 years of no contact and wants me to take care of her pedophile son while she's in poor health.
I'm attaching my response to her below.
Hi. I'm alive. I'm well. I'm also not okay with you contacting me, especially under the circumstances that you violated the privacy of your own sister to get my contact information. I have read your apologies and excuses and I do not accept either. You say I reminded you of Dad? He spent more time with me and showed more interest in my well-being than you ever did, and that's including the 6 years he was absent from my life by your own selfish design. Menopause? I find that hard to believe as this went on for the better part of half a decade and not once in that time did your attitude towards brother change. You always treated him with the same coddling infantile obsession and patience that one would show a toddler. It was and is clear that you have a preferred child as that adult-sized pile of shit is still living comfortably with dear old mama. I'm guessing no one else is willing to take him in? Are Uncle and Cousins afraid of him doing something to their daughters or grandchildren? I do believe you when you say you want to rebuild the bridge that you nuked from orbit years ago, but I can't believe it's not for your own selfish desires. And I can't find any reason or way my quality of life could be improved with your presence. The reality is, my life has been far better without you than it could be with you. I've never said this to anyone, but if there is a sense of karma and balance in the universe, your current situation is proof of that. The next time I see your name on my computer screen, had better be for your obituary. But since you and the monster you raised both decided to keep Dad's death a secret from me, and remove any choice I had to mourn or pay my respects, I'll return that kindness to you.
Please die away from me.
submitted by Evening-Parsley2112 to narcissisticparents [link] [comments]
As the title says, my abusive/narc mom and pos/delusional/golden child brother started trying to reach out to me a few months ago wanting to make amends and build bridges with me again. There were a few people that commented on my previous post in another subreddit that may be a little disappointed in me for how I handled this, and a few that might enjoy that I handled it the way I did. Someone commented to not let them use my good nature. My nature is dependent on who I'm dealing with, and when it comes to that side of my family, I'm more stick than carrot. So their attempts did not go ignored, and did not go unpunished.
Growing up, I was always closer with my Dad than my mom. My brother was the epitome of "pampered mamma's boy". He started having seizures as a child and was diagnosed with epilepsy, which I thought was why my mom babied the absolute fuck out of him long into adulthood. He would go a year or 2 without any seizures, and then there would be a few months where he'd be having them every other day. At Anytime he got in trouble at home or school, my mom would find a way to blame me, for not making sure he knew whatever he was doing would get him in trouble, or she would blame my dad for not being "involved enough in their baby's life." My dad was in the Navy and I remember any time he'd deploy, I'd dread every day until he came back. My brother would taunt me that he knew whatever he did, I'd be the one to get in trouble for it. My dad would always make things up for me when he got back from his deployments though. We'd often have weekend trips just the 2 of us. And then around my 12th birthday, my mom insisted on sitting us all down and explain to that she and my dad were getting a divorce. We got the whole talk about how they still love us and they just can't be together anymore, etc. my dad told us both that he still loved us and he would be there for us whenever we needed him. He explained that he would be moving out, but he would be by to pick us up to spend the weekends with us. I was nervous and honestly scared of what it would be like without him. But I was looking forward to the weekend when I got to see him again. That never happened though, and that was the last time I ever got to see him.
Right before his weekend with us, my mom explained to us that my dad didn't want anything to do with us anymore. There was some news story about a father that killed his kids when he had custody of them and she used that to terrify my brother and convince him that our dad wanted to kill us to start his life over. We left damn near everything behind and moved in with my mom's brother in Florida (from Virginia) a couple days before my dad was supposed to come get us. After that, she went to great lengths to make sure we had no contact from him.
Years went on, my mom seemed more indifferent towards me than ever. She never seemed interested in anything I did unless my brother also seemed interested in it. She didn't show any interest in my wanting to learn guitar until my brother also showed interest in it. Then we got one guitar that we had to share, I'd take lessons on the condition that I taught my brother whatever I learned in them. My brother eventually wound up breaking the guitar and I was blamed for not storing it in the case it came with. I had to share my N64 with him whenever he wanted to play it. I was playing perfect dark one day and having a hard time killing the skedar leader at the end of the game. My brother burst into the room saying he wanted to play his MegaMan game, to which I just replied "give me a minute, this boss fight is hard, once I'm done you can have your turn" He didn't like that. He left the room and came back with a hammer and smashed the console while I was still playing. My fault for not letting him play it. The only thing I had that he could not use was a pair of roller blades my aunt got me for my 14th birthday. I specifically asked for roller blades to get around instead of a bike because my brother and I had different shoe sizes, so he couldn't wear them Because of constant shit like that, I never really put much value in having things growing up. I didnt want to buy something or get something as a gift just to have it fucked up in a few weeks or months. At some point, my "little" brother became the larger one, so my clothes all became "hand-me-ups" as he outgrew everything. So, because I didn't really have any distractions at home, I turned into a high achieving student, rarely got in trouble. made the honor roll all throughout school. But that wasn't something to celebrate as it was expected of me. I had long since decided that I was moving out as soon as I could once I turn 18. I got a job working at a Walgreens as soon as I could and started saving up for a car. My mom however took issue with this and would never agree to take me looking for one and absolutely refused to ever have it put on her insurance. This is where my Aunt comes in. She and her son are the only 2 on my mom's side that aren't some sort of degenerate. She had her son young, but put herself through college while raising him alone and eventually got her MBA and a cushy upper corporate job. She told me to tell my mom I had to go in to work on one of my days off, that she would pick me up and she would take me car shopping. So that's what we did. I couldn't quite afford a cash car, but she helped me with the financing. I put down what I had as the down payment, the arrangement she made with me was that 1- as long as I was in school, she would cover the insurance and payments for me, however, if I got into an accident, I was responsible for paying the deductable. And 2- as long as i was living with my mom, the car remained in her (Aunt's) name. And if anything happened to it, to let her know so she could get the appropriate authorities involved. My mom was PISSED when she found out I now had a car. Her reasoning (that she said in front of my aunt) was that she didn't think it was fair for one of us-either me or my brother- to have something the other couldn't use. Due to him being 13 and having epilepsy, he couldn't drive, so why should i have a car if my brother doesn't? That turned into a long shouting match between my mom and Aunt that basically ended with my aunt explaining that since it was her car, and all paperwork on her name, I was just on the insurance for it so I could drive it. But if anything at all happened to it while I was living at my Mom's, that the police and insurance companies would get involved. My mom still kept track of all the miles on the car to "make sure I was only going to work and school and wherever she told me I could go". Most of the time, when I hung out with friends, I wasn't the one driving. From that that point though, my mindset was very much "keep my head down and nose clean until I can leave." I graduated a month before my 18th birthday. After graduation, my mom and i got into an argument about me contributing to her bills. I eventually dropped the ball that I planned on getting back in touch with my Dad and leaving. She started laughing. Something about that laugh made me really uncomfortable. She then said "well, you can certainly meet up with him whenever you want! I'll supply the gun if you buy the bullet!" And told me my dad had died when I was 15. That. Fucking. Broke. Me. Later that night, i called my best friend and vented everything to him. He was in the DEP program for the Navy and would be shipping out in a few months, he told me to come by first thing in the morning and talk with him and his parents about the whole situation. I basically packed up all of my clothes and left the day after my 18th birthday. I just left my house key and a note that said "I'm not your problem anymore." I couch surfed for a little while until after my best friend left for boot camp, then I was able to move in and live with his parents (chosen parents basically). My only real rules were keep the house and my space clean and make sure I had a job and/or going to school. I spent a few months mourning my dad and kind of in a haze. Since he was in the Navy though, that meant I was reliable for financial aid for school. My second dad helped me get everything put together to start receiving that so I could start college.
Well, after a couple years of this, my brother, who had spent his time at school more as "forced socializing" instead of learning, was expelled from public schools for allegedly setting off a fire extinguisher in a classroom. He had to enroll at an alternative school called "the drop back-in academy" that was specifically for dropouts or anyone that got the boot from the public school system. My mom reached out to me and asked me if I would drive him to this school in the mornings, she'd pick him up in the afternoons, and she'd pay me $20 a week.I agreed to it thinking this was out of character for her, but she surprisingly held up to that agreement. I drove him for a couple years until I was ready to start my bachelor program. My second parents were getting ready to move back to their hometown and I was going to start school on the other side of the city. So, I was moving to that side of town and couldn't really drive out of my way to pick up and drop off my brother anymore. He continued his enrollment at this place for another 3 years (5 years total) and it turned out, he was never attending. I would drop his ass off there every day and he'd just walk home immediately after I pulled out of the parking lot. He'd just tell my mom that he finished his work early and decided to walk home instead of wait around for her. One afternoon, I'm coming home early from work and my brother is just sitting on the steps to my studio apartment. He tells me that he and our mom got into a really big argument and he needs a place to stay. I (reluctantly) let him in. I'm stuck thinking he must be really desperate if he's coming to me for help. But I start thinking at this point, he's 24, jobless, and probably needs to learn some self discipline and responsibility, and our mom just never did that for him. So I try to help. I ask him what their fight was about and he tells me that he started dating this girl at his alternative school. She was 21 and got the boot from the school system for being too old to attend (we actually have several relatives that were kicked out of the school system for the same reason) and that he accidentally got her pregnant and our mom did not take kindly to that. I called my landlord and explained the situation to him. He was okay with it, so I let him crash on my couch for a little bit (until the end of my lease, then I'd be moving) and just told him to clean up after himself, take care of himself, etc until we could all work this out. He crashed there for a few months and did Jack shit. He would complain that I didn't have a computer for him to use (I only had a laptop I bought for school) and I didn't have any video game consoles for him to entertain himself with. So he was stuck there bored all day. I got tired of the complaining and lack of effort and told him he had to go back to our mom's if he wasn't going to be an adult. We started shouting at each other until he dropped this little bombshell. He yelled "I can't go back to Mom's!" And when I asked why, he just blurted out "because it's to close to that elementary school!" That stopped the whole thing. "And why is that a big deal now?" I asked him. I already knew why that would be the problem, but 1% of me was holding onto the hope that he was got jumped by a gang of 5th graders and the trauma was too much for him to bear. I told him he could either tell me what's going on, or I could make a phone call and get every last detail I needed. He confessed that he had been leaving that school and going over to his "girlfriend's" house and waiting for her to get home. And that one day, her mom ended up catching them in the act. I explained to him that he was leaving out important details if that was the reason he couldn't be near a school.
He told me she was 14, not 21. I. Lost. My. Shit. Everything after that is kinda fuzzy, but he was arrested, mom posted bail, and since she lived right around the corner from an elementary school, he couldn't stay there. So they told his parole officer that he'd be staying at my address until his court date.. his PO had swung by a couple times, but I was always either at work or school or out somewhere. At this point, I told him the lease was up in 6 weeks, I couldn't stand to be around him. I packed my stuff early, moved out into a storage unit, and I stayed at an extended stay hotel until it was time for me to move. Called my landlord and told him what was going on, and if my brother was still there the last week of the lease, nail him for trespassing. My landlord was a good guy. I never had any problems with him. I paid up the last 6 weeks and threw him since extra cash for his troubles as I knew I wouldn't be getting my deposit back. That was the last time I saw my brother. After I moved out of state, I cut all contact with everyone in that family except my Aunt who was the only one that ever helped me out or even had my back. But even then, it was just through email. We'd mainly email birthday and holiday wishes to each other. Updates from my side on how life and career are going.
I never had a myspace or a Facebook growing up. I either never had a computer to check it on, or I was just so accustomed to not having any online distractions that I just never got around to making one. I did finally make a Facebook and I did get in touch with my dad's side of the family and reconnected with them. I hadn't seem most of them since I was 4 or 5. Some of them had been in contact with my brother (he fucking knew our dad died) and was spinning some sort of web about how he graduated high school early, had gone to college for pre-med and then got some sort of full ride scholarship to some prestigious medical school in Florida. He told them I wasn't on social media because I had been arrested for selling drugs and that he was taking me in after I got released. He was also using my senior portrait as a profile pic. They were surprised when they saw me and how I "looked just like my brother!" I had set the record straight. They looked dumbfounded when I told them that he couldn't get himself out of the 9th grade in 10 years, and now would likely never complete his high school journey due to the fact he can't be within 100 yards of a school.
So, fast forward to last week. I checked my email for the first time since late January (for my aunt's birthday) and noticed a few from her saying my mom wanted to reach out, then several emails from a new address. It was my mom's first initial and last name. Subject lines usually read "please respond" and "let me know you're okay" and stuff like that. I'd copy some of them over, but holy shit this is already a novella. Basically she got my email address from sneaking my aunt's phone (aunt did not sell me out). She's trying to apologize for how she treated me growing up and trying to excuse it by saying I reminded her of my dad and then she was going through menopause and just any excuse to dishes full accountability it seems. She acknowledges that it was wrong to hold me accountable for my brother's fuck-ups but dismisses that by saying he didn't know any better and she needed me to be a good role model for him. Things have been hard for her since I left, since she "had" to take my brother back in (I would've left him on the street or in jail), she had to sell her house (she was only 10 years into her mortgage) and buy another smaller one further from a school for him. He never did get a hs diploma or GED because how can he? And she's been going through breast cancer treatment for the last several months and just doesn't have the energy to take care of her 33yo baby anymore. She asked me if I lived close enough to them to take him in for a little bit while she focuses on her health. I left Florida 8 years ago and haven't even lived in the same time zone in 6 years. She can only check her email at work since she no longer has Internet at home. She had to cancel her home Internet service because of him. So, I decided to just put my brother's name into a search bar and the first thing that pops up is a FDLE sex offender's page. And holy shit has he gone downhill. He had a second arrest when he was 27 for the same thing, and then was caught in communications with another girl (like Chris Hansen sting) and was released from prison at the beginning of the year. And the mugshot.... You know the pale lady from the scary stories to tell in the dark movie? Think that, but with a patchy beard. Beady eyes, bad skin and all. According to the sheriff's office inmate search, he's been arrested 5 times in the last 10 years. Twice for lewd and lascivious battery of a minor (aged 12-15), once for solicitation of a minor, and twice for probation violations.
The TL/DR: abusive mom took all her frustrations out on me, blamed me for everything my brother did, hid my father's death from me until I was almost 18, and reaches out after 8 years of no contact and wants me to take care of her pedophile son while she's in poor health.
I'm attaching my response to her below.
Hi. I'm alive. I'm well. I'm also not okay with you contacting me, especially under the circumstances that you violated the privacy of your own sister to get my contact information. I have read your apologies and excuses and I do not accept either. You say I reminded you of Dad? He spent more time with me and showed more interest in my well-being than you ever did, and that's including the 6 years he was absent from my life by your own selfish design. Menopause? I find that hard to believe as this went on for the better part of half a decade and not once in that time did your attitude towards brother change. You always treated him with the same coddling infantile obsession and patience that one would show a toddler. It was and is clear that you have a preferred child as that adult-sized pile of shit is still living comfortably with dear old mama. I'm guessing no one else is willing to take him in? Are Uncle and Cousins afraid of him doing something to their daughters or grandchildren? I do believe you when you say you want to rebuild the bridge that you nuked from orbit years ago, but I can't believe it's not for your own selfish desires. And I can't find any reason or way my quality of life could be improved with your presence. The reality is, my life has been far better without you than it could be with you. I've never said this to anyone, but if there is a sense of karma and balance in the universe, your current situation is proof of that. The next time I see your name on my computer screen, had better be for your obituary. But since you and the monster you raised both decided to keep Dad's death a secret from me, and remove any choice I had to mourn or pay my respects, I'll return that kindness to you.
Please die away from me.
2024.05.14 14:01 Zappingsbrew A post talking about 400 words
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submitted by Zappingsbrew to u/Zappingsbrew [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 08:05 _Lucie_ I need a sanity check. Friend won't be induced until 43 weeks (+ Bonus Post)
I am NOT OP. OP is u/BlueMillennium with one post being by u/Resource-National
Posts were originally posted to BabyBumps and pregnant
Trigger Warnings: may be distressing to those suffering from infertility, mentions of babyloss/stillbirth, mental health issues
Edit: To clarify, I've added definitions below for some things mentioned in these posts: A chemical pregnancy is when someone is pregnant but unfortunately has a very early miscarriage, within the first five weeks of pregnancy.
Pseudocyesis, or a hysterical pregnancy, is when someone believes they are pregnant when they are not. Many convince themselves they have symptoms, but a blood test or ultrasound will confirm the lack of a fetus.
A cryptic pregnancy is a pregnancy that has gone by undetected for an extended period of time. A cryptic pregnancy is often discovered quite late in pregnancy, even as late as when the expectant parent is in labour.
Original Post : Posted on May 2, 2024 (12 days ago) by OOP
I have a weird situation and I need a sanity check. Please tell me I'm not crazy for being concerned and skeptical.
Background: a friend of mine is 34 years old, first time mom, and currently 42.5 weeks pregnant. She says her doctor is not concerned at all. After her 41 week appt, I asked when she would be getting induced, since generally doctors don't let you go past 41 weeks. She said her doctor didn't even talk about induction and baby is healthy, etc. Then a week later, she said her and her doctor briefly talked about induction and because she's dilated, doctor thinks she's in labor and to just come to the birthing center that night to check on progress. She ended up not going in at all because "she's not cramping" and made another appointment with her doctor, which was yesterday. She just let me know that her doctor said they'll induce her on Friday when she's 43 weeks! I'm absolutely baffled. I've given birth 3 times and every single time, they've told me that they rarely let women go past 41 weeks.
I'm starting to think something is going on. This friend is a bit of an odd duck. I have not seen her in person since she told us she was pregnant. She's turned down every offer for baby items, baby shower, walking buddy, etc. She has sent over baby bump pics over the last few months. She has a really small build but does have a small bump I guess. Nothing that would make me think she's 3 weeks overdue.
This is weird, right??
Comments agree that it is indeed strange but a few comments offer potential explanations.
Relevant Comments
mrun1: Midwife here. I think it’s entirely possible your friend and her doctor are going off different due dates. As many others have commented very few providers would be so relaxed about someone going >42 weeks. We often see a due date change after the dating scan but sometimes folks really latch onto their first “due date” that was based only on their last period.
MabelMyerscough: That would also make me very suspicious.. please let me/us know what the 'end result' is! Something sounds indeed shady.. but she's not in the same country as you guys right now? Is she in a country with very weird healthcare?
Yeah maybe surrogate or something? I'd still be willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.. has she shared pictures of nursery or something?
The 43 week induction is concerning to me. Weird especially that her doctor told her to go to the birthing center that night to get checked out, but she didn't because she wasn't cramping.
What do you think is going on? Do you think she secretly has a surrogate? Lying about being pregnant altogether?
My friend said her water was starting to leak on Thursday around 2pm. She said her doctor told her not to come in until her contractions are 4 min apart. She was not currently having contractions but more sharp cramps. Friday morning, I checked in on her. She said she's still not having contractions and she still plans to go in that night (last night) around 8pm. I text her around that time to wish her luck and I hope things go well, yadda yadda. She just said "thank you" and nothing else. No updates overnight.
My friend is a nurse at her delivery hospital and called me this morning, asking for an update because she's concerned about her water breaking nearly 48 hours ago and she hasn't had the baby. So, she called her hospital to see if my friend was there and they have no record of her checking in at all. She plans to text her this morning and see if she says she is in the hospital or what. We are all in the same group chat, for reference.
This is all just so crazy. My nurse friend said there's no way her doctor wouldn't have her immediately come in if she's 43 weeks and her water broke. I have no idea what to think. This friend is always really open and texts us all the time with random updates so the radio silence is not normal for her.
Update: friend says she's currently at the hospital and doing well but it's possible she put herself on the privacy list.
{Edited to remove private information}
**I get it. Nurse friend may crossed a line. I have no idea. Just updating with what I was told.
To be continued! 🤷🏼♀️
Update 2: it's now been almost 48 hours since she's arrived at the hospital, supposedly. She has said multiple times that she's there and all is well. Zero pictures, updates, or information. She's responding to other messages like normal. It's been 72 hours (I think) since her water broke and she's past 43 weeks now. This friend is one who sends tons of pictures when she's doing anything exciting so... This is definitely not like her. She has volunteered pregnancy related information the last several months.
We don't know how long to let this go. We all agree that we think there is no pregnancy or baby. We've all been friends since elementary school so this is hard for us to accept. There's 3 options. 1) she's pregnant and lied about her due date for whatever reason. 2) she truly believes she's pregnant even though we are pretty sure she hasn't been a doctor. 3) she's just straight up lying. This is hard for us because she hasn't posted on social media so if she wanted the attention, why not post there too? We are thinking that she's lied about previous life events. She was once engaged for years without any wedding or meeting the supposed fiance. I'm sad for her and mad/disappointed she is lying to us.
What do we do??
Update 3: I don't even know how to start. Friend has supposedely been in the hospital for several days at this point. I'm actually in St Lucia right now on vacation so don't have access to our chat group via texts so trying to get updates via FB.
One friend in that text group said she reached out privately and the friend said she had the baby but was too stressed to send pics or updates. So she reached out to the other friend in the chat who said she also reached out to the pregnant friend who said she has NOT had the baby and was starting pitocin that day. So she's now telling people different things
And now, another reddit user reached out via PM. She posted a topic on the Pregnancy subreddit about this exact story. Someone linked her to my posts. I can confirm it is indeed the same person. The main details she has shared are the same with a few things that are off from what I was told.
We are actively trying to get a hold of her parents. They moved recently and no longer have the landline number but we are very concerned.
Edit 4: one friend in our group was able to find pregnant friends home address. This friend is closest to her between all of us. She is going to go over this evening and is prepared to talk to her. We talked to someone we know who is a psychologist and helped us with what to say, how she might react, etc. her parents should be there as well.
Pregnant friend has told one friend that she had the baby yesterday and another friend that she just had the baby an hour ago and is being discharged, which is just impossible. We think she truly believes she is pregnant based off a pregnancy test and it was likely a chemical pregnancy. She never met with a doctor because other tests were negative and I think deep down, she was afraid a doctor would confirm that there is no baby. So, she decided to carry on as if she was pregnant and now she has tricked herself into thinking she is pregnant.
We also found the baby daddy from Europe. He is married. We believe maybe they had an affair. His wife may have already tried talking to pregnant friend and accused her of lying. Or, maybe she found some random guy and made the whole thing up. We have no idea. We are going to urge her to go to a mental health facility in her town.
Relevant Comments:
ruebarbara_: Dude! I had a life long friend do this to me in 2022. Lied the whole way through the pregnancy. Had a baby shower. Bought a fake bump. Boyfriend was excited to be a dad. But none of us actually hung out together. Literally no one knew it was all a lie until she went in for her “induction” and instead she actually fled the state because she was in too deep and didn’t know what to do. Her mom called me and asked what doctor she sees, I gave her the name. She called the clinic and this friend never showed up for her confirmation of pregnancy appointment. Her mom was so embarrassed but also worried. Friend ended up going to inpatient psych for a few days. She’s a pathological liar. We are no longer friends as this wasn’t the first time she had lied about something major and I just don’t have the mental space for that. It was a wild ride that actually caused me a lot of anxiety.
I think I may have befriended a person who is faking their pregnancy. We met on an online fertility community and both got pregnant around the same time. We’ve checked in on each other through our “pregnancies”. She claims to have a very small bump, which I know can happen, and has more or less been bullied by friends and co workers. She’s sent me bump pics throughout her pregnancy and there is no bump.
She’s post term now. Around 40 weeks she claimed to be spotting for a week saying it was her “bloody show”. I tried to keep an open mind because even tho this is my second pregnancy and none of my friends had a bloody show like that, hey, anything is possible right? Now she claims to have been leaking amniotic fluid since Thursday night. She messaged me Friday afternoon and my response was to call her dr or go to labor and delivery to be checked. She claimed that it was confirmed to be amniotic fluid and she was told to go home since she wasn’t having contractions. I found that odd considering she was past the 24 hr mark.
Today she says she’s still leaking fluid and has no contractions. Then I asked her how far long she is and she said 42.6. Prior to this, the first thing she said to me was how she was so upset because her close friends were accusing her of faking a pregnancy. I found that really odd. But after the 42.6 I have to wonder. When I suggested she got to l&d immediately it seemed like groundbreaking news to her (“will they help labor speed up?”). She said she was treated at the er on Friday, which my understanding is that anything pregnancy related always goes through l&d.
I realize not everyone has a provider who educates them or takes it upon themselves to learn the basics of pregnancy. Maybe she’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. But now I’m thinking this person is either fake or totally lying about being pregnant. Either way it’s bizarre!! Does any ob permit pregnancy past 42 weeks in the us?!
Edit:
Wow- the number of comments saying they’ve seen this similar story questioning this woman’s pregnancy is insane. For the record I’ve never told this woman any identifying features other than I live on the west coast. No photos etc. this is through Facebook and my profile is extremely private and we are NOT Facebook friends! Thank you for your concern. My mind def went to all of the horror stories.
Update: It’s safe to say this woman isn’t pregnant. In a shocking turn of events here is a post about the same woman written by her irl friend https://www.reddit.com/BabyBumps/s/LpIboHfJT5
Here is the final Update #2 to this very sad and bizarre saga: https://www.reddit.com/BabyBumps/s/Zm4ARKWcW1
Relevant Comments:
Possible_Library2699: I feel like someone else posted about this same woman!?
A lot has happened in the last 24 hours. Previous posts can be found in my history. I'll link to them later.
Pregnant friend will be called El in this post for simplicity sake.
El has told different friends different stories over the last couple days. She told one friend that she gave birth yesterday, but another friend that she gave birth today and is already home and doing well. The friend closest to her was able to find her home address (she moved recently).
Friend went to the delivery hospital to double check that she wasnt there. They confirmed they had no patient with that name. She called El. She asked El where she was and El said she was leaving the hospital right now. Friend said "well I am here so I'll help you walk out". That's when El broke down and admitted everything after my friend was able to meet her at her house. Here's the gist:
El visited her boyfriend in Europe. A few weeks later, she thought she might be pregnant. She took a test and it had an incredibly faint line. She started posting in pregnancy FB groups asking for confirmation. Then she went to the doctor and asked for an ultrasound. They confirmed that there was no baby. El was convinced they were lying to her. She says she went to another boutique ultrasound place and they did a 3d scan and found a baby and did an entire pregnancy scan. (We don't believe this actually happened). Then El started getting symptoms, her belly starting growing and she fully convinced herself that she was pregnant. She did maternity photos, prepped for a baby and told her workplace and parents. She never went back to the doctor because she was convinced they were all lying to her.
Once she hit "full term", she starting getting anxious. She thought she was cramping, losing her mucus plug, and her water broke. She didn't know what to do because the doctors wouldn't help her. Once she went past 43 weeks, she decided to go to the hospital (yesterday). She showed up with her hospital bags packed and her parents went with her. She told the front desk that she was 43 weeks pregnant and was ready to have her baby. I don't know what all happened here but they basically turned her away and told her she was not pregnant or having a baby. We think her parents started to figure it all out a week or so ago, but didn't know the extent of the lies. They have always let El do whatever she wants and pay for her entire lifestyle. We assume she lied to them about everything.
Friend said El does have a swollen belly that looks like she's 20ish weeks. They talked for a long time and she is grieving this lost pregnancy/baby. She legitimately thought she was going to give birth.
We think she is suffering from a phantom pregnancy. Thank you to the redditor who told me about this. I had never heard of it.
We are all very upset for her and realize that we need to be very careful. We are not going to attack her or confront her as a group. We have a mental health resource ready to help her, if we can delicately get her to agree to go.
This is not how I thought this would all play out. This is all so unbelievable. I appreciate everyone who reached out and commented with words of support. 🩷
Relevant Comments:
linny93: You mentioned in your last post that the “father” is married. Did you get any update on that situation? Did she choose a random European guy and say it was her fiancé?
Do women who lose a baby 20+ weeks ago still have a noticeable baby bump? What do you mean they “turned her away and told her she was not pregnant”… did they take a pregnancy test or just turn her away? Did any of your friends become concerned that she waited til 43 weeks to go to the doctor to deliver? That is super late. Also I’m really surprised the hospital would have disclosed she was/was not a pregnant patient there. Anyway just my initial questions on this!
PLEASE DO NOT COMMENT IN ANY LINKED POSTS OR COMMENTS
Marking as concluded due to OOPs friend being confirmed to have not been pregnant.
submitted by _Lucie_ to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
Posts were originally posted to BabyBumps and pregnant
Trigger Warnings: may be distressing to those suffering from infertility, mentions of babyloss/stillbirth, mental health issues
Edit: To clarify, I've added definitions below for some things mentioned in these posts: A chemical pregnancy is when someone is pregnant but unfortunately has a very early miscarriage, within the first five weeks of pregnancy.
Pseudocyesis, or a hysterical pregnancy, is when someone believes they are pregnant when they are not. Many convince themselves they have symptoms, but a blood test or ultrasound will confirm the lack of a fetus.
A cryptic pregnancy is a pregnancy that has gone by undetected for an extended period of time. A cryptic pregnancy is often discovered quite late in pregnancy, even as late as when the expectant parent is in labour.
Original Post : Posted on May 2, 2024 (12 days ago) by OOP
I have a weird situation and I need a sanity check. Please tell me I'm not crazy for being concerned and skeptical.
Background: a friend of mine is 34 years old, first time mom, and currently 42.5 weeks pregnant. She says her doctor is not concerned at all. After her 41 week appt, I asked when she would be getting induced, since generally doctors don't let you go past 41 weeks. She said her doctor didn't even talk about induction and baby is healthy, etc. Then a week later, she said her and her doctor briefly talked about induction and because she's dilated, doctor thinks she's in labor and to just come to the birthing center that night to check on progress. She ended up not going in at all because "she's not cramping" and made another appointment with her doctor, which was yesterday. She just let me know that her doctor said they'll induce her on Friday when she's 43 weeks! I'm absolutely baffled. I've given birth 3 times and every single time, they've told me that they rarely let women go past 41 weeks.
I'm starting to think something is going on. This friend is a bit of an odd duck. I have not seen her in person since she told us she was pregnant. She's turned down every offer for baby items, baby shower, walking buddy, etc. She has sent over baby bump pics over the last few months. She has a really small build but does have a small bump I guess. Nothing that would make me think she's 3 weeks overdue.
This is weird, right??
Comments agree that it is indeed strange but a few comments offer potential explanations.
Relevant Comments
mrun1: Midwife here. I think it’s entirely possible your friend and her doctor are going off different due dates. As many others have commented very few providers would be so relaxed about someone going >42 weeks. We often see a due date change after the dating scan but sometimes folks really latch onto their first “due date” that was based only on their last period.
MabelMyerscough: That would also make me very suspicious.. please let me/us know what the 'end result' is! Something sounds indeed shady.. but she's not in the same country as you guys right now? Is she in a country with very weird healthcare?
OOP: She's in the US at a large health system. Her boyfriend lives in Europe. It's a weird situation all around. The boyfriend was supposed to come down for the birth but she's made excuses on why he's not here. At first it was because he only had a week of vacation time and didn't want to get here too early and now it's that he'd rather spend that time with the baby after she's born. This friend was originally going to move to Europe for the birth but that never happened either...MabelMyerscough: Interesting.. I'm not in the US but from what I read the US is even stricter with inducing early if needed and not past 41 weeks! Where I come from in EU they let you go until 42 weeks if all checkups are good, but not longer than that, ever..
Yeah maybe surrogate or something? I'd still be willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.. has she shared pictures of nursery or something?
OOP: No pictures. We even asked for an ultrasound picture when we got suspicious (we have a friend chat group) but she said she never got copies of the images. It's so shady!! I've offered her my baby stuff that she might need but she doesn't want it for various reasons.DeepBackground5803: Is she someone you would have seen in person before pregnancy?
So I'm actually a surrogate and she's well aware of my experience with it. I don't think she could afford it 😕
The 43 week induction is concerning to me. Weird especially that her doctor told her to go to the birthing center that night to get checked out, but she didn't because she wasn't cramping.
What do you think is going on? Do you think she secretly has a surrogate? Lying about being pregnant altogether?
OOP: We see each other maybe once or twice a year so not super concerning. She has a boyfriend who she visited overseas, which is supposedly where she got pregnant. I'm thinking there's something shady going on but at some point... There's no baby.. lolUPDATE: Friend won't be induced until 43 weeks : Posted on May 5, 2024 (10 days ago) by OOP
My friend said her water was starting to leak on Thursday around 2pm. She said her doctor told her not to come in until her contractions are 4 min apart. She was not currently having contractions but more sharp cramps. Friday morning, I checked in on her. She said she's still not having contractions and she still plans to go in that night (last night) around 8pm. I text her around that time to wish her luck and I hope things go well, yadda yadda. She just said "thank you" and nothing else. No updates overnight.
My friend is a nurse at her delivery hospital and called me this morning, asking for an update because she's concerned about her water breaking nearly 48 hours ago and she hasn't had the baby. So, she called her hospital to see if my friend was there and they have no record of her checking in at all. She plans to text her this morning and see if she says she is in the hospital or what. We are all in the same group chat, for reference.
This is all just so crazy. My nurse friend said there's no way her doctor wouldn't have her immediately come in if she's 43 weeks and her water broke. I have no idea what to think. This friend is always really open and texts us all the time with random updates so the radio silence is not normal for her.
Update: friend says she's currently at the hospital and doing well but it's possible she put herself on the privacy list.
{Edited to remove private information}
**I get it. Nurse friend may crossed a line. I have no idea. Just updating with what I was told.
To be continued! 🤷🏼♀️
Update 2: it's now been almost 48 hours since she's arrived at the hospital, supposedly. She has said multiple times that she's there and all is well. Zero pictures, updates, or information. She's responding to other messages like normal. It's been 72 hours (I think) since her water broke and she's past 43 weeks now. This friend is one who sends tons of pictures when she's doing anything exciting so... This is definitely not like her. She has volunteered pregnancy related information the last several months.
We don't know how long to let this go. We all agree that we think there is no pregnancy or baby. We've all been friends since elementary school so this is hard for us to accept. There's 3 options. 1) she's pregnant and lied about her due date for whatever reason. 2) she truly believes she's pregnant even though we are pretty sure she hasn't been a doctor. 3) she's just straight up lying. This is hard for us because she hasn't posted on social media so if she wanted the attention, why not post there too? We are thinking that she's lied about previous life events. She was once engaged for years without any wedding or meeting the supposed fiance. I'm sad for her and mad/disappointed she is lying to us.
What do we do??
Update 3: I don't even know how to start. Friend has supposedely been in the hospital for several days at this point. I'm actually in St Lucia right now on vacation so don't have access to our chat group via texts so trying to get updates via FB.
One friend in that text group said she reached out privately and the friend said she had the baby but was too stressed to send pics or updates. So she reached out to the other friend in the chat who said she also reached out to the pregnant friend who said she has NOT had the baby and was starting pitocin that day. So she's now telling people different things
And now, another reddit user reached out via PM. She posted a topic on the Pregnancy subreddit about this exact story. Someone linked her to my posts. I can confirm it is indeed the same person. The main details she has shared are the same with a few things that are off from what I was told.
We are actively trying to get a hold of her parents. They moved recently and no longer have the landline number but we are very concerned.
Edit 4: one friend in our group was able to find pregnant friends home address. This friend is closest to her between all of us. She is going to go over this evening and is prepared to talk to her. We talked to someone we know who is a psychologist and helped us with what to say, how she might react, etc. her parents should be there as well.
Pregnant friend has told one friend that she had the baby yesterday and another friend that she just had the baby an hour ago and is being discharged, which is just impossible. We think she truly believes she is pregnant based off a pregnancy test and it was likely a chemical pregnancy. She never met with a doctor because other tests were negative and I think deep down, she was afraid a doctor would confirm that there is no baby. So, she decided to carry on as if she was pregnant and now she has tricked herself into thinking she is pregnant.
We also found the baby daddy from Europe. He is married. We believe maybe they had an affair. His wife may have already tried talking to pregnant friend and accused her of lying. Or, maybe she found some random guy and made the whole thing up. We have no idea. We are going to urge her to go to a mental health facility in her town.
Relevant Comments:
ruebarbara_: Dude! I had a life long friend do this to me in 2022. Lied the whole way through the pregnancy. Had a baby shower. Bought a fake bump. Boyfriend was excited to be a dad. But none of us actually hung out together. Literally no one knew it was all a lie until she went in for her “induction” and instead she actually fled the state because she was in too deep and didn’t know what to do. Her mom called me and asked what doctor she sees, I gave her the name. She called the clinic and this friend never showed up for her confirmation of pregnancy appointment. Her mom was so embarrassed but also worried. Friend ended up going to inpatient psych for a few days. She’s a pathological liar. We are no longer friends as this wasn’t the first time she had lied about something major and I just don’t have the mental space for that. It was a wild ride that actually caused me a lot of anxiety.
OOP: Oh my God 😲😲 that's what I'm thinking now.. how is she going to get out of the lie??NoYesterday_6662: I wonder if she feels like she’s “ behind “ in the friend group. So she makes stuff up to feel better. Idk if any of the other friends maybe are married or have kids? So she’s making things up to feel like she’s not “ left out “?
OOP: Yeah she's always wanted kids. There's one other friend who is unmarried, no kids. 🤷🏼♀️bananapajama1: when is the last time you saw her in person? :o is that normal for your friendship?
OOP: It's probably been a year but yeah that's normal. We try to see each other twice a year. I did offer to see her; throw a shower, be her walking buddy, go shopping for baby stuff. She didn't take me up on any of it. Now that is odd. Originally when she told us she was pregnant, she said she was moving to Europe with the boyfriend so it was just so chaotic there for a while, according to her.Beckella: She’ll claim she had a stillbirth for the attention.
OOP: I think she's convinced herself that she's really pregnant. She did maternity photos and everything but she doesn't really look pregnant. Bloated maybeJG0923: Is she one to lie about things in general? I had a friend like that who lied about A LOT of things in her life and we didn’t realize it for years and years.
OOP: Looking back at the things she's said over the years, it's possible. She had a fiance for 5 years that I never met. Wondering if that was a lie. UghResource-National: This is crazy! I “met” a woman on a fertility fb group who is telling me the exact same thing! She lives in Kansas City apparently and has no baby bump and has told me for months she’s been bullied by friends and co workers. She has sent me bump pictures and even photos from her maternity shoot. Literally same story- leaking fluid on Thursday and it’s Sunday and no baby. Today she told me she’s 42 and 6!!! And even said her friends are “attacking” her saying she’s not even pregnant! Really curious if it’s the same woman.
OOP: Wow, same woman. I saw your PM. Holy shit this is wild.Going past 42 weeks? : Posted on May 6, 2024 (8 days ago) by u/Resource-National
I think I may have befriended a person who is faking their pregnancy. We met on an online fertility community and both got pregnant around the same time. We’ve checked in on each other through our “pregnancies”. She claims to have a very small bump, which I know can happen, and has more or less been bullied by friends and co workers. She’s sent me bump pics throughout her pregnancy and there is no bump.
She’s post term now. Around 40 weeks she claimed to be spotting for a week saying it was her “bloody show”. I tried to keep an open mind because even tho this is my second pregnancy and none of my friends had a bloody show like that, hey, anything is possible right? Now she claims to have been leaking amniotic fluid since Thursday night. She messaged me Friday afternoon and my response was to call her dr or go to labor and delivery to be checked. She claimed that it was confirmed to be amniotic fluid and she was told to go home since she wasn’t having contractions. I found that odd considering she was past the 24 hr mark.
Today she says she’s still leaking fluid and has no contractions. Then I asked her how far long she is and she said 42.6. Prior to this, the first thing she said to me was how she was so upset because her close friends were accusing her of faking a pregnancy. I found that really odd. But after the 42.6 I have to wonder. When I suggested she got to l&d immediately it seemed like groundbreaking news to her (“will they help labor speed up?”). She said she was treated at the er on Friday, which my understanding is that anything pregnancy related always goes through l&d.
I realize not everyone has a provider who educates them or takes it upon themselves to learn the basics of pregnancy. Maybe she’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. But now I’m thinking this person is either fake or totally lying about being pregnant. Either way it’s bizarre!! Does any ob permit pregnancy past 42 weeks in the us?!
Edit:
Wow- the number of comments saying they’ve seen this similar story questioning this woman’s pregnancy is insane. For the record I’ve never told this woman any identifying features other than I live on the west coast. No photos etc. this is through Facebook and my profile is extremely private and we are NOT Facebook friends! Thank you for your concern. My mind def went to all of the horror stories.
Update: It’s safe to say this woman isn’t pregnant. In a shocking turn of events here is a post about the same woman written by her irl friend https://www.reddit.com/BabyBumps/s/LpIboHfJT5
Here is the final Update #2 to this very sad and bizarre saga: https://www.reddit.com/BabyBumps/s/Zm4ARKWcW1
Relevant Comments:
Possible_Library2699: I feel like someone else posted about this same woman!?
ppaulapple: The OP in the other sub just confirmed it’s the same person 2 hours ago 🤯Final Update: 43 week pregnant friend has admitted to not being pregnant. : Posted on May 7, 2024 (7 days ago) by OOP
A lot has happened in the last 24 hours. Previous posts can be found in my history. I'll link to them later.
Pregnant friend will be called El in this post for simplicity sake.
El has told different friends different stories over the last couple days. She told one friend that she gave birth yesterday, but another friend that she gave birth today and is already home and doing well. The friend closest to her was able to find her home address (she moved recently).
Friend went to the delivery hospital to double check that she wasnt there. They confirmed they had no patient with that name. She called El. She asked El where she was and El said she was leaving the hospital right now. Friend said "well I am here so I'll help you walk out". That's when El broke down and admitted everything after my friend was able to meet her at her house. Here's the gist:
El visited her boyfriend in Europe. A few weeks later, she thought she might be pregnant. She took a test and it had an incredibly faint line. She started posting in pregnancy FB groups asking for confirmation. Then she went to the doctor and asked for an ultrasound. They confirmed that there was no baby. El was convinced they were lying to her. She says she went to another boutique ultrasound place and they did a 3d scan and found a baby and did an entire pregnancy scan. (We don't believe this actually happened). Then El started getting symptoms, her belly starting growing and she fully convinced herself that she was pregnant. She did maternity photos, prepped for a baby and told her workplace and parents. She never went back to the doctor because she was convinced they were all lying to her.
Once she hit "full term", she starting getting anxious. She thought she was cramping, losing her mucus plug, and her water broke. She didn't know what to do because the doctors wouldn't help her. Once she went past 43 weeks, she decided to go to the hospital (yesterday). She showed up with her hospital bags packed and her parents went with her. She told the front desk that she was 43 weeks pregnant and was ready to have her baby. I don't know what all happened here but they basically turned her away and told her she was not pregnant or having a baby. We think her parents started to figure it all out a week or so ago, but didn't know the extent of the lies. They have always let El do whatever she wants and pay for her entire lifestyle. We assume she lied to them about everything.
Friend said El does have a swollen belly that looks like she's 20ish weeks. They talked for a long time and she is grieving this lost pregnancy/baby. She legitimately thought she was going to give birth.
We think she is suffering from a phantom pregnancy. Thank you to the redditor who told me about this. I had never heard of it.
We are all very upset for her and realize that we need to be very careful. We are not going to attack her or confront her as a group. We have a mental health resource ready to help her, if we can delicately get her to agree to go.
This is not how I thought this would all play out. This is all so unbelievable. I appreciate everyone who reached out and commented with words of support. 🩷
Relevant Comments:
linny93: You mentioned in your last post that the “father” is married. Did you get any update on that situation? Did she choose a random European guy and say it was her fiancé?
OOP: She seems to think they are together but his FB says otherwise. He has posts with his wife on trips, etc. we just don't know yet 😕cherb30: I’m a little confused, forgive me for being skeptical!
Do women who lose a baby 20+ weeks ago still have a noticeable baby bump? What do you mean they “turned her away and told her she was not pregnant”… did they take a pregnancy test or just turn her away? Did any of your friends become concerned that she waited til 43 weeks to go to the doctor to deliver? That is super late. Also I’m really surprised the hospital would have disclosed she was/was not a pregnant patient there. Anyway just my initial questions on this!
OOP: We all started getting very suspicious at 41 weeks when she said her doctors didn't want to induce her and it grew with each week she went past. We were very very concerned, hence my initial post on this subreddit.OOP (in response to a deleted comment): She isn't actually pregnant but she truly believes she was pregnant, enough to convince her body that she was. It's called a phantom or hysterical pregnancy. She's having a mental health episode. She's not insane but she does need professional support. She thought she was coming home with a baby. That's what she is grieving. She's wanted to be a mom so badly.
I don't know if the hospital did any tests or checked her in any way. I'm shocked they wouldn't have her meet with a social worker or something. She def does not look pregnant enough to give birth. She's a very tiny girl normally so any weight gain in her stomach would be very noticeable. She probably weighs 100-110 pounds. I think it was probably obvious she wasn't ready to give birth and they maybe told her to go to the ER when she wasn't in their patient system.
We are trying to sort between the truth and lies she's spun trying to convince herself and others.
PLEASE DO NOT COMMENT IN ANY LINKED POSTS OR COMMENTS
Marking as concluded due to OOPs friend being confirmed to have not been pregnant.
2024.05.14 03:01 babydonthurtme2202 Lost a best friend of 10 years
Just to clarify he's alive. A big long.
We met during the first year of middle school in history class. Our friendship just kind of clicked, it was me, him and group of other dumb teenagers. He was also a very good artist which motivated me to draw more often. We pretty much drew things all day during class since our history teacher didn't do much to teach anything and was absent most of the times.
As our middle school years went by our friendship grew. You see, during this time my some of my friends from elementary wasn't in the same middle school as mines so it was nice to have someone to hangout with. We were always together, having fun, playing games and drawing.
After school we'd play Roblox together, even up to the point of last year. Always on calls, you know, that kind of friendship. The one you'd think would last forever.
Eventually I had to be transferred during our eight grade year, but it didn't stopped our solid friendship. We'd call pretty much every day. Like everyday for hours. Sharing drawings, playing games together, laughing at dumb jokes and just normal teenager stuff.
Our friendship did drifted a bit coming onto the point of later covid. Before then we actually managed to hangout with each other in person, skating at the skatepark and going to the beach with other friends. Eventually he unfortunately had to move, pretty much 50 miles from where I lived. But like always the phone calls kept coming but dwindled in time with 1-3 week waits.
Now on to the point where things began to go downhill. Now I can't say for sure but I believe he's been going through some stuff, like everyone else. Just trying to find himself out in the world, and I was always there to encourage him in his creative endeavors.
One day of last year he just pretty much ghosted me, just nothing. It made me feel very guilty, my mind tends to dwell on things a lot and my anxiety runs rampant. I thought I had done something wrong or he hard harmed himself, all the bad things came to thought.
He did reconnected with me, letting me know how he just needed some time to himself to "grind" in life. You know like work on himself and make that money flow. Which was understandable, but I would've preferred a heads up.
Then he did again, without warning of course. I didn't feel as guilty and gave him the benefit of the doubt. He did came back and all was well, we were back to our usual conversation and stuff.
Finally, about a few months ago he stopped talking to me. Since then I had started college a few months back and needed to focus on my midterm stuff. It was a only a week ago I realized something was wrong, his social media accounts were gone, SoundCloud, Instagram, YouTube and discord. All deleted, I wasn't blocked this time.
I made many attempts to reach out but they went no where. Until I eventually used a relatives phone to call him, he did picked up but hanged up so after. There was a sigh of disappointment. It was here, that I just gave up and just decided to let him go. My other best friend told me I shouldn't put a huge effort on someone who doesn't need help and that I should focus on myself rather than hurting my mental health.
Honestly all this was an epiphany to me, it made me realized that I've pretty much waisted the last few years to rekindle old relationships. To be honest, right now I only have 2 true friends who I actually go out with. The others are people who I talk to at work or the subway I go to everyday.
An odd way of saying this but my best friend nuclear ghosting helped me realized something. Now I'm going to focus on myself and the new friends I made at my campus's robotics club.
TL:DR My best friend ghosted me after 10 years of friendship. It helped me realized not to hold onto to past friendships and to move on with my life.
submitted by babydonthurtme2202 to friendship [link] [comments]
We met during the first year of middle school in history class. Our friendship just kind of clicked, it was me, him and group of other dumb teenagers. He was also a very good artist which motivated me to draw more often. We pretty much drew things all day during class since our history teacher didn't do much to teach anything and was absent most of the times.
As our middle school years went by our friendship grew. You see, during this time my some of my friends from elementary wasn't in the same middle school as mines so it was nice to have someone to hangout with. We were always together, having fun, playing games and drawing.
After school we'd play Roblox together, even up to the point of last year. Always on calls, you know, that kind of friendship. The one you'd think would last forever.
Eventually I had to be transferred during our eight grade year, but it didn't stopped our solid friendship. We'd call pretty much every day. Like everyday for hours. Sharing drawings, playing games together, laughing at dumb jokes and just normal teenager stuff.
Our friendship did drifted a bit coming onto the point of later covid. Before then we actually managed to hangout with each other in person, skating at the skatepark and going to the beach with other friends. Eventually he unfortunately had to move, pretty much 50 miles from where I lived. But like always the phone calls kept coming but dwindled in time with 1-3 week waits.
Now on to the point where things began to go downhill. Now I can't say for sure but I believe he's been going through some stuff, like everyone else. Just trying to find himself out in the world, and I was always there to encourage him in his creative endeavors.
One day of last year he just pretty much ghosted me, just nothing. It made me feel very guilty, my mind tends to dwell on things a lot and my anxiety runs rampant. I thought I had done something wrong or he hard harmed himself, all the bad things came to thought.
He did reconnected with me, letting me know how he just needed some time to himself to "grind" in life. You know like work on himself and make that money flow. Which was understandable, but I would've preferred a heads up.
Then he did again, without warning of course. I didn't feel as guilty and gave him the benefit of the doubt. He did came back and all was well, we were back to our usual conversation and stuff.
Finally, about a few months ago he stopped talking to me. Since then I had started college a few months back and needed to focus on my midterm stuff. It was a only a week ago I realized something was wrong, his social media accounts were gone, SoundCloud, Instagram, YouTube and discord. All deleted, I wasn't blocked this time.
I made many attempts to reach out but they went no where. Until I eventually used a relatives phone to call him, he did picked up but hanged up so after. There was a sigh of disappointment. It was here, that I just gave up and just decided to let him go. My other best friend told me I shouldn't put a huge effort on someone who doesn't need help and that I should focus on myself rather than hurting my mental health.
Honestly all this was an epiphany to me, it made me realized that I've pretty much waisted the last few years to rekindle old relationships. To be honest, right now I only have 2 true friends who I actually go out with. The others are people who I talk to at work or the subway I go to everyday.
An odd way of saying this but my best friend nuclear ghosting helped me realized something. Now I'm going to focus on myself and the new friends I made at my campus's robotics club.
TL:DR My best friend ghosted me after 10 years of friendship. It helped me realized not to hold onto to past friendships and to move on with my life.
2024.05.13 22:51 D3s3rtpaw My Brother’s obsessive use of the computer is starting to consume his life negatively and we don’t know what to do to help him, as he needs it. We need advice.
I hope this is the right subreddit, flair, and has a reasonable length. If it doesn’t, please tell me and I’ll change it to fit the requirements.
My younger brother (16m), let’s call him Nathan (false name), is currently having a ton of issues and my family and I (17m) feel like we have played all of our cards and don’t know what else we can do for him. Nathan has Bipolar I, ADHD, dyslexia, and even though he isn’t professionally diagnosed, we suspect he also has Autism. He is currently on medication for his Bipolar but he isn’t on any for his ADHD. He also gets seizures when he becomes too stressed. He is on a DUI at school and has a lot of support there regarding teachers and faculty. He used to have a psychologist but they terminated him for stupid reasons that he had no control over. He has been in the mental hospital before back in elementary, as he used to be much worse back then. He also has a background of violence (his violence would only be directed to me and our Mother(40f), but he hasn’t been violent for 3-4 years). He also has done self-harm in the past, but they were pretty minor. Nathan and I also have no insurance but we are about to get on our Mother’s plan. Nathan also has ways of coping and knows what to do if he becomes too angry, but I feel like there could be more that could be done. We live in a household with 7 people. We live with our Papa (Mother’s Dad) and his twin brother, who sleep in the living room, Grandma and Grandpa (Papa’s parents) who sleep in the master bedroom as they own the house, our Mother, who sleeps in her own room, and Nathan and I, who share a room. We also have one dog. Okay, now to the issue.
Nathan has lately been on the computer 24/7 and we feel it has negatively affecting him and he simply is unable to see it like that. We feel that the computer has begun to consume his life. He spends all day and night talking to his online friends playing Minecraft with them. He communicates with them on discord and has constantly communicating with them. He has been spending all night talking to them even though he should be going to sleep for school and has been struggling getting up to get ready for school and been falling asleep at school. He has been saying that he has been struggling going to sleep at night and believes he has insomnia (our family has a history of insomnia). I believe his sleeping issues is a result of his computer use. Before, he never really struggled going to sleep but now he has been having a ton of issues doing so. I won’t be surprised if he has/started to have insomnia because of this. As a result of the obsessive computer use, he has begun having back-lashes on not just our Mother, but our Grandma (we currently live with our Grandma and Grandpa), which isn’t good for her health.
He doesn’t know how to be quiet on the computer, especially at night. He is loud and often yells while on it. Our Papa and Mother can hear him at night. It has started to become a really serious issue. I’ve been professionally diagnosed with Insomnia and struggle falling asleep. Nathan’s inability to be quiet at night has started to affect my ability to sleep. I’ve used to being able to ignore it pretty well, but it has become a very serious issue lately and I have been having a very hard time falling asleep for school. I also won’t be surprised if it has also started to affect Papa’s ability to sleep as well, as he is right next to our door as we are right outside the living room.
His online friends aren’t much better. Him having online friends isn’t abnormal at all, but his current online friends I feel aren’t good for him. They actively encourage him to stay up all night with them (they are all around the same age as Nathan, or at least that is what they say). Nathan often falls asleep while on call with them, and they regularly wake him up, as they don’t want him falling asleep on them. He has an online girlfriend, in which to my knowledge she is the only one who is trying to get him to sleep at night (in which he refused to do so). He has been hanging out with them too much, as he isn’t just neglecting his real life friends but his older online friends too (in which I prefer a whole lot more than his current ones, which he became friends with 1-3 weeks ago). He used to be more active and hang out with his real life friends often, but he wants to stay inside 24/7 now and doesn’t hang out with his real life friends outside of school anymore. He is way too naive and too trusting of his online friends. As a result, he is easy to take advantage of. One example of this was that several of his friends apparently had a house in our city and Nathan wanted to get a job so he can help pay for the house (I don’t think they even showed evidence that this house was actually real). Our Mother luckily cut down that idea immediately. He is also surrounded by people who are suicidal online, which isn’t good for his mental health at all.
On top of neglecting his real life friends, he is also neglecting his family. He is really close to our Mother and I. He used to watch anime with our Mother, but he no longer does so. Nathan and I also used to watch anime together, play games together, and chat but we barely do any of that stuff anymore. He also would be eager to go out of the house with family but he no longer wants to. He either wants to hang out with his friends or is too tired to do so. Recently, he didn’t go to our cousin’s graduation and even my induction ceremony for National Honor Art Society because he was too tired. It also has been months since he went to our other cousins house as he is either too tired or wants to stay home (she isn’t our actual blood cousin, but we see each other as such. Nathan is really close to her as well). I admit I’m obsessed with my phone, but I know when I need to put it down and it hasn’t consume my life like it has Nathan. I’m an introvert and I don’t prefer going outside of the house, but I have been going outside the house with our Mother quite often. Nathan used to do the same but he no longer wants to.
With all this information, you may be wondering why we haven’t taken away the computer yet. There is a reason on why we haven’t. This is because if we did, he will become violent. If he does continue going on the computer at night, our Mother will take away the computer at night. Nathan knows this. She also is wanting to turn off the internet at night and before he goes to school, but we don’t know if we could do that just yet. One manipulative and toxic thing he does, which is extremely unhealthy, is that if our Mother threatens him with punishment, Nathan threatens his own life to try to get out of the punishment. This never works on our Mother as she knows these are hollow threats and she used to do the same (actually she used to be much worse and actually attempted suicide before. I don’t think Nathan even has the will for suicide) so she knows the signs and how to deal with the situation. I think he does this since he is constantly surrounded by people threatening their lives online, he now sees this as normal. Since he sees this as normal, he has begun doing the same to not just our Mother but other people (I’m guessing he learned to do this as he probably seen this work before with his friends doing the same).
All of this cumulated into Monday morning. The day before, Nathan was asleep all day and was up all night on the computer. He was being so loud that I had a very hard time falling asleep and it began to annoy me incredibly. I don’t know when he fell asleep but it’s obvious he stayed up all night, even though he knew we were going to school in the morning. We usually get up around one hours before school starts to get ready. This is also when he gets his medicine. When it was time to go, Nathan was still asleep in his pajamas. I couldn’t get him to wake up, and our Grandma had to be the one to wake him up (our Mother was at work). Our Grandpa had to drop me off at school without him, go back home, and then drop him off to school (we go to the same school). He was hard on our Grandma, in which I assume it took a little while to finally convince him to get up and get ready for school. This is incredibly stressful for our Grandma and is definitely not good for her health. As a result of this, it simply became too much for all of us and we need to find a way to get him help.
The Mental Hospital is our very last option, and we don’t want this at all. We simply don’t know what else we can do for him, as he needs help. Is their other methods/ways we can use to help him or is the mental hospital our only option? Btw, no methods/ways/punishments that include any sort of violence, as this won’t help him at all and he will retaliate back with more violence (our Mother is a lot more stronger than Nathan and she has incredibly hard punches. She has never punched Nathan before, but she has slapped him. Even though our Mother doesn’t like this, she will defend herself against Nathan if she ever needs to do so. She’ll never throw the first punch but she won’t hesitate to throw hands back. On the other hand, I’m incredibly weak and will fold like a lawn chair.)
tl;dr, My younger brother’s computer use has started to consume his life negatively in all aspects and we don’t know what else to do, as he simply refuses to see it like that.
submitted by D3s3rtpaw to Advice [link] [comments]
My younger brother (16m), let’s call him Nathan (false name), is currently having a ton of issues and my family and I (17m) feel like we have played all of our cards and don’t know what else we can do for him. Nathan has Bipolar I, ADHD, dyslexia, and even though he isn’t professionally diagnosed, we suspect he also has Autism. He is currently on medication for his Bipolar but he isn’t on any for his ADHD. He also gets seizures when he becomes too stressed. He is on a DUI at school and has a lot of support there regarding teachers and faculty. He used to have a psychologist but they terminated him for stupid reasons that he had no control over. He has been in the mental hospital before back in elementary, as he used to be much worse back then. He also has a background of violence (his violence would only be directed to me and our Mother(40f), but he hasn’t been violent for 3-4 years). He also has done self-harm in the past, but they were pretty minor. Nathan and I also have no insurance but we are about to get on our Mother’s plan. Nathan also has ways of coping and knows what to do if he becomes too angry, but I feel like there could be more that could be done. We live in a household with 7 people. We live with our Papa (Mother’s Dad) and his twin brother, who sleep in the living room, Grandma and Grandpa (Papa’s parents) who sleep in the master bedroom as they own the house, our Mother, who sleeps in her own room, and Nathan and I, who share a room. We also have one dog. Okay, now to the issue.
Nathan has lately been on the computer 24/7 and we feel it has negatively affecting him and he simply is unable to see it like that. We feel that the computer has begun to consume his life. He spends all day and night talking to his online friends playing Minecraft with them. He communicates with them on discord and has constantly communicating with them. He has been spending all night talking to them even though he should be going to sleep for school and has been struggling getting up to get ready for school and been falling asleep at school. He has been saying that he has been struggling going to sleep at night and believes he has insomnia (our family has a history of insomnia). I believe his sleeping issues is a result of his computer use. Before, he never really struggled going to sleep but now he has been having a ton of issues doing so. I won’t be surprised if he has/started to have insomnia because of this. As a result of the obsessive computer use, he has begun having back-lashes on not just our Mother, but our Grandma (we currently live with our Grandma and Grandpa), which isn’t good for her health.
He doesn’t know how to be quiet on the computer, especially at night. He is loud and often yells while on it. Our Papa and Mother can hear him at night. It has started to become a really serious issue. I’ve been professionally diagnosed with Insomnia and struggle falling asleep. Nathan’s inability to be quiet at night has started to affect my ability to sleep. I’ve used to being able to ignore it pretty well, but it has become a very serious issue lately and I have been having a very hard time falling asleep for school. I also won’t be surprised if it has also started to affect Papa’s ability to sleep as well, as he is right next to our door as we are right outside the living room.
His online friends aren’t much better. Him having online friends isn’t abnormal at all, but his current online friends I feel aren’t good for him. They actively encourage him to stay up all night with them (they are all around the same age as Nathan, or at least that is what they say). Nathan often falls asleep while on call with them, and they regularly wake him up, as they don’t want him falling asleep on them. He has an online girlfriend, in which to my knowledge she is the only one who is trying to get him to sleep at night (in which he refused to do so). He has been hanging out with them too much, as he isn’t just neglecting his real life friends but his older online friends too (in which I prefer a whole lot more than his current ones, which he became friends with 1-3 weeks ago). He used to be more active and hang out with his real life friends often, but he wants to stay inside 24/7 now and doesn’t hang out with his real life friends outside of school anymore. He is way too naive and too trusting of his online friends. As a result, he is easy to take advantage of. One example of this was that several of his friends apparently had a house in our city and Nathan wanted to get a job so he can help pay for the house (I don’t think they even showed evidence that this house was actually real). Our Mother luckily cut down that idea immediately. He is also surrounded by people who are suicidal online, which isn’t good for his mental health at all.
On top of neglecting his real life friends, he is also neglecting his family. He is really close to our Mother and I. He used to watch anime with our Mother, but he no longer does so. Nathan and I also used to watch anime together, play games together, and chat but we barely do any of that stuff anymore. He also would be eager to go out of the house with family but he no longer wants to. He either wants to hang out with his friends or is too tired to do so. Recently, he didn’t go to our cousin’s graduation and even my induction ceremony for National Honor Art Society because he was too tired. It also has been months since he went to our other cousins house as he is either too tired or wants to stay home (she isn’t our actual blood cousin, but we see each other as such. Nathan is really close to her as well). I admit I’m obsessed with my phone, but I know when I need to put it down and it hasn’t consume my life like it has Nathan. I’m an introvert and I don’t prefer going outside of the house, but I have been going outside the house with our Mother quite often. Nathan used to do the same but he no longer wants to.
With all this information, you may be wondering why we haven’t taken away the computer yet. There is a reason on why we haven’t. This is because if we did, he will become violent. If he does continue going on the computer at night, our Mother will take away the computer at night. Nathan knows this. She also is wanting to turn off the internet at night and before he goes to school, but we don’t know if we could do that just yet. One manipulative and toxic thing he does, which is extremely unhealthy, is that if our Mother threatens him with punishment, Nathan threatens his own life to try to get out of the punishment. This never works on our Mother as she knows these are hollow threats and she used to do the same (actually she used to be much worse and actually attempted suicide before. I don’t think Nathan even has the will for suicide) so she knows the signs and how to deal with the situation. I think he does this since he is constantly surrounded by people threatening their lives online, he now sees this as normal. Since he sees this as normal, he has begun doing the same to not just our Mother but other people (I’m guessing he learned to do this as he probably seen this work before with his friends doing the same).
All of this cumulated into Monday morning. The day before, Nathan was asleep all day and was up all night on the computer. He was being so loud that I had a very hard time falling asleep and it began to annoy me incredibly. I don’t know when he fell asleep but it’s obvious he stayed up all night, even though he knew we were going to school in the morning. We usually get up around one hours before school starts to get ready. This is also when he gets his medicine. When it was time to go, Nathan was still asleep in his pajamas. I couldn’t get him to wake up, and our Grandma had to be the one to wake him up (our Mother was at work). Our Grandpa had to drop me off at school without him, go back home, and then drop him off to school (we go to the same school). He was hard on our Grandma, in which I assume it took a little while to finally convince him to get up and get ready for school. This is incredibly stressful for our Grandma and is definitely not good for her health. As a result of this, it simply became too much for all of us and we need to find a way to get him help.
The Mental Hospital is our very last option, and we don’t want this at all. We simply don’t know what else we can do for him, as he needs help. Is their other methods/ways we can use to help him or is the mental hospital our only option? Btw, no methods/ways/punishments that include any sort of violence, as this won’t help him at all and he will retaliate back with more violence (our Mother is a lot more stronger than Nathan and she has incredibly hard punches. She has never punched Nathan before, but she has slapped him. Even though our Mother doesn’t like this, she will defend herself against Nathan if she ever needs to do so. She’ll never throw the first punch but she won’t hesitate to throw hands back. On the other hand, I’m incredibly weak and will fold like a lawn chair.)
tl;dr, My younger brother’s computer use has started to consume his life negatively in all aspects and we don’t know what else to do, as he simply refuses to see it like that.
2024.05.13 22:50 D3s3rtpaw My Brother’s obsessive use of the computer is starting to consume his life negatively and we don’t know what to do to help him, as he needs it. We need advice.
I hope this is the right subreddit, flair, and has a reasonable length. If it doesn’t, please tell me and I’ll change it to fit the requirements.
My younger brother (16m), let’s call him Nathan (false name), is currently having a ton of issues and my family and I (17m) feel like we have played all of our cards and don’t know what else we can do for him. Nathan has Bipolar I, ADHD, dyslexia, and even though he isn’t professionally diagnosed, we suspect he also has Autism. He is currently on medication for his Bipolar but he isn’t on any for his ADHD. He also gets seizures when he becomes too stressed. He is on a DUI at school and has a lot of support there regarding teachers and faculty. He used to have a psychologist but they terminated him for stupid reasons that he had no control over. He has been in the mental hospital before back in elementary, as he used to be much worse back then. He also has a background of violence (his violence would only be directed to me and our Mother(40f), but he hasn’t been violent for 3-4 years). He also has done self-harm in the past, but they were pretty minor. Nathan and I also have no insurance but we are about to get on our Mother’s plan. Nathan also has ways of coping and knows what to do if he becomes too angry, but I feel like there could be more that could be done. We live in a household with 7 people. We live with our Papa (Mother’s Dad) and his twin brother, who sleep in the living room, Grandma and Grandpa (Papa’s parents) who sleep in the master bedroom as they own the house, our Mother, who sleeps in her own room, and Nathan and I, who share a room. We also have one dog. Okay, now to the issue.
Nathan has lately been on the computer 24/7 and we feel it has negatively affecting him and he simply is unable to see it like that. We feel that the computer has begun to consume his life. He spends all day and night talking to his online friends playing Minecraft with them. He communicates with them on discord and has constantly communicating with them. He has been spending all night talking to them even though he should be going to sleep for school and has been struggling getting up to get ready for school and been falling asleep at school. He has been saying that he has been struggling going to sleep at night and believes he has insomnia (our family has a history of insomnia). I believe his sleeping issues is a result of his computer use. Before, he never really struggled going to sleep but now he has been having a ton of issues doing so. I won’t be surprised if he has/started to have insomnia because of this. As a result of the obsessive computer use, he has begun having back-lashes on not just our Mother, but our Grandma (we currently live with our Grandma and Grandpa), which isn’t good for her health.
He doesn’t know how to be quiet on the computer, especially at night. He is loud and often yells while on it. Our Papa and Mother can hear him at night. It has started to become a really serious issue. I’ve been professionally diagnosed with Insomnia and struggle falling asleep. Nathan’s inability to be quiet at night has started to affect my ability to sleep. I’ve used to being able to ignore it pretty well, but it has become a very serious issue lately and I have been having a very hard time falling asleep for school. I also won’t be surprised if it has also started to affect Papa’s ability to sleep as well, as he is right next to our door as we are right outside the living room.
His online friends aren’t much better. Him having online friends isn’t abnormal at all, but his current online friends I feel aren’t good for him. They actively encourage him to stay up all night with them (they are all around the same age as Nathan, or at least that is what they say). Nathan often falls asleep while on call with them, and they regularly wake him up, as they don’t want him falling asleep on them. He has an online girlfriend, in which to my knowledge she is the only one who is trying to get him to sleep at night (in which he refused to do so). He has been hanging out with them too much, as he isn’t just neglecting his real life friends but his older online friends too (in which I prefer a whole lot more than his current ones, which he became friends with 1-3 weeks ago). He used to be more active and hang out with his real life friends often, but he wants to stay inside 24/7 now and doesn’t hang out with his real life friends outside of school anymore. He is way too naive and too trusting of his online friends. As a result, he is easy to take advantage of. One example of this was that several of his friends apparently had a house in our city and Nathan wanted to get a job so he can help pay for the house (I don’t think they even showed evidence that this house was actually real). Our Mother luckily cut down that idea immediately. He is also surrounded by people who are suicidal online, which isn’t good for his mental health at all.
On top of neglecting his real life friends, he is also neglecting his family. He is really close to our Mother and I. He used to watch anime with our Mother, but he no longer does so. Nathan and I also used to watch anime together, play games together, and chat but we barely do any of that stuff anymore. He also would be eager to go out of the house with family but he no longer wants to. He either wants to hang out with his friends or is too tired to do so. Recently, he didn’t go to our cousin’s graduation and even my induction ceremony for National Honor Art Society because he was too tired. It also has been months since he went to our other cousins house as he is either too tired or wants to stay home (she isn’t our actual blood cousin, but we see each other as such. Nathan is really close to her as well). I admit I’m obsessed with my phone, but I know when I need to put it down and it hasn’t consume my life like it has Nathan. I’m an introvert and I don’t prefer going outside of the house, but I have been going outside the house with our Mother quite often. Nathan used to do the same but he no longer wants to.
With all this information, you may be wondering why we haven’t taken away the computer yet. There is a reason on why we haven’t. This is because if we did, he will become violent. If he does continue going on the computer at night, our Mother will take away the computer at night. Nathan knows this. She also is wanting to turn off the internet at night and before he goes to school, but we don’t know if we could do that just yet. One manipulative and toxic thing he does, which is extremely unhealthy, is that if our Mother threatens him with punishment, Nathan threatens his own life to try to get out of the punishment. This never works on our Mother as she knows these are hollow threats and she used to do the same (actually she used to be much worse and actually attempted suicide before. I don’t think Nathan even has the will for suicide) so she knows the signs and how to deal with the situation. I think he does this since he is constantly surrounded by people threatening their lives online, he now sees this as normal. Since he sees this as normal, he has begun doing the same to not just our Mother but other people (I’m guessing he learned to do this as he probably seen this work before with his friends doing the same).
All of this cumulated into Monday morning. The day before, Nathan was asleep all day and was up all night on the computer. He was being so loud that I had a very hard time falling asleep and it began to annoy me incredibly. I don’t know when he fell asleep but it’s obvious he stayed up all night, even though he knew we were going to school in the morning. We usually get up around one hours before school starts to get ready. This is also when he gets his medicine. When it was time to go, Nathan was still asleep in his pajamas. I couldn’t get him to wake up, and our Grandma had to be the one to wake him up (our Mother was at work). Our Grandpa had to drop me off at school without him, go back home, and then drop him off to school (we go to the same school). He was hard on our Grandma, in which I assume it took a little while to finally convince him to get up and get ready for school. This is incredibly stressful for our Grandma and is definitely not good for her health. As a result of this, it simply became too much for all of us and we need to find a way to get him help.
The Mental Hospital is our very last option, and we don’t want this at all. We simply don’t know what else we can do for him, as he needs help. Is their other methods/ways we can use to help him or is the mental hospital our only option? Btw, no methods/ways/punishments that include any sort of violence, as this won’t help him at all and he will retaliate back with more violence (our Mother is a lot more stronger than Nathan and she has incredibly hard punches. She has never punched Nathan before, but she has slapped him. Even though our Mother doesn’t like this, she will defend herself against Nathan if she ever needs to do so. She’ll never throw the first punch but she won’t hesitate to throw hands back. On the other hand, I’m incredibly weak and will fold like a lawn chair.)
tl;dr, My younger brother’s computer use has started to consume his life negatively in all aspects and we don’t know what else to do, as he simply refuses to see it like that.
submitted by D3s3rtpaw to mentalhealth [link] [comments]
My younger brother (16m), let’s call him Nathan (false name), is currently having a ton of issues and my family and I (17m) feel like we have played all of our cards and don’t know what else we can do for him. Nathan has Bipolar I, ADHD, dyslexia, and even though he isn’t professionally diagnosed, we suspect he also has Autism. He is currently on medication for his Bipolar but he isn’t on any for his ADHD. He also gets seizures when he becomes too stressed. He is on a DUI at school and has a lot of support there regarding teachers and faculty. He used to have a psychologist but they terminated him for stupid reasons that he had no control over. He has been in the mental hospital before back in elementary, as he used to be much worse back then. He also has a background of violence (his violence would only be directed to me and our Mother(40f), but he hasn’t been violent for 3-4 years). He also has done self-harm in the past, but they were pretty minor. Nathan and I also have no insurance but we are about to get on our Mother’s plan. Nathan also has ways of coping and knows what to do if he becomes too angry, but I feel like there could be more that could be done. We live in a household with 7 people. We live with our Papa (Mother’s Dad) and his twin brother, who sleep in the living room, Grandma and Grandpa (Papa’s parents) who sleep in the master bedroom as they own the house, our Mother, who sleeps in her own room, and Nathan and I, who share a room. We also have one dog. Okay, now to the issue.
Nathan has lately been on the computer 24/7 and we feel it has negatively affecting him and he simply is unable to see it like that. We feel that the computer has begun to consume his life. He spends all day and night talking to his online friends playing Minecraft with them. He communicates with them on discord and has constantly communicating with them. He has been spending all night talking to them even though he should be going to sleep for school and has been struggling getting up to get ready for school and been falling asleep at school. He has been saying that he has been struggling going to sleep at night and believes he has insomnia (our family has a history of insomnia). I believe his sleeping issues is a result of his computer use. Before, he never really struggled going to sleep but now he has been having a ton of issues doing so. I won’t be surprised if he has/started to have insomnia because of this. As a result of the obsessive computer use, he has begun having back-lashes on not just our Mother, but our Grandma (we currently live with our Grandma and Grandpa), which isn’t good for her health.
He doesn’t know how to be quiet on the computer, especially at night. He is loud and often yells while on it. Our Papa and Mother can hear him at night. It has started to become a really serious issue. I’ve been professionally diagnosed with Insomnia and struggle falling asleep. Nathan’s inability to be quiet at night has started to affect my ability to sleep. I’ve used to being able to ignore it pretty well, but it has become a very serious issue lately and I have been having a very hard time falling asleep for school. I also won’t be surprised if it has also started to affect Papa’s ability to sleep as well, as he is right next to our door as we are right outside the living room.
His online friends aren’t much better. Him having online friends isn’t abnormal at all, but his current online friends I feel aren’t good for him. They actively encourage him to stay up all night with them (they are all around the same age as Nathan, or at least that is what they say). Nathan often falls asleep while on call with them, and they regularly wake him up, as they don’t want him falling asleep on them. He has an online girlfriend, in which to my knowledge she is the only one who is trying to get him to sleep at night (in which he refused to do so). He has been hanging out with them too much, as he isn’t just neglecting his real life friends but his older online friends too (in which I prefer a whole lot more than his current ones, which he became friends with 1-3 weeks ago). He used to be more active and hang out with his real life friends often, but he wants to stay inside 24/7 now and doesn’t hang out with his real life friends outside of school anymore. He is way too naive and too trusting of his online friends. As a result, he is easy to take advantage of. One example of this was that several of his friends apparently had a house in our city and Nathan wanted to get a job so he can help pay for the house (I don’t think they even showed evidence that this house was actually real). Our Mother luckily cut down that idea immediately. He is also surrounded by people who are suicidal online, which isn’t good for his mental health at all.
On top of neglecting his real life friends, he is also neglecting his family. He is really close to our Mother and I. He used to watch anime with our Mother, but he no longer does so. Nathan and I also used to watch anime together, play games together, and chat but we barely do any of that stuff anymore. He also would be eager to go out of the house with family but he no longer wants to. He either wants to hang out with his friends or is too tired to do so. Recently, he didn’t go to our cousin’s graduation and even my induction ceremony for National Honor Art Society because he was too tired. It also has been months since he went to our other cousins house as he is either too tired or wants to stay home (she isn’t our actual blood cousin, but we see each other as such. Nathan is really close to her as well). I admit I’m obsessed with my phone, but I know when I need to put it down and it hasn’t consume my life like it has Nathan. I’m an introvert and I don’t prefer going outside of the house, but I have been going outside the house with our Mother quite often. Nathan used to do the same but he no longer wants to.
With all this information, you may be wondering why we haven’t taken away the computer yet. There is a reason on why we haven’t. This is because if we did, he will become violent. If he does continue going on the computer at night, our Mother will take away the computer at night. Nathan knows this. She also is wanting to turn off the internet at night and before he goes to school, but we don’t know if we could do that just yet. One manipulative and toxic thing he does, which is extremely unhealthy, is that if our Mother threatens him with punishment, Nathan threatens his own life to try to get out of the punishment. This never works on our Mother as she knows these are hollow threats and she used to do the same (actually she used to be much worse and actually attempted suicide before. I don’t think Nathan even has the will for suicide) so she knows the signs and how to deal with the situation. I think he does this since he is constantly surrounded by people threatening their lives online, he now sees this as normal. Since he sees this as normal, he has begun doing the same to not just our Mother but other people (I’m guessing he learned to do this as he probably seen this work before with his friends doing the same).
All of this cumulated into Monday morning. The day before, Nathan was asleep all day and was up all night on the computer. He was being so loud that I had a very hard time falling asleep and it began to annoy me incredibly. I don’t know when he fell asleep but it’s obvious he stayed up all night, even though he knew we were going to school in the morning. We usually get up around one hours before school starts to get ready. This is also when he gets his medicine. When it was time to go, Nathan was still asleep in his pajamas. I couldn’t get him to wake up, and our Grandma had to be the one to wake him up (our Mother was at work). Our Grandpa had to drop me off at school without him, go back home, and then drop him off to school (we go to the same school). He was hard on our Grandma, in which I assume it took a little while to finally convince him to get up and get ready for school. This is incredibly stressful for our Grandma and is definitely not good for her health. As a result of this, it simply became too much for all of us and we need to find a way to get him help.
The Mental Hospital is our very last option, and we don’t want this at all. We simply don’t know what else we can do for him, as he needs help. Is their other methods/ways we can use to help him or is the mental hospital our only option? Btw, no methods/ways/punishments that include any sort of violence, as this won’t help him at all and he will retaliate back with more violence (our Mother is a lot more stronger than Nathan and she has incredibly hard punches. She has never punched Nathan before, but she has slapped him. Even though our Mother doesn’t like this, she will defend herself against Nathan if she ever needs to do so. She’ll never throw the first punch but she won’t hesitate to throw hands back. On the other hand, I’m incredibly weak and will fold like a lawn chair.)
tl;dr, My younger brother’s computer use has started to consume his life negatively in all aspects and we don’t know what else to do, as he simply refuses to see it like that.
2024.05.13 20:23 acorn_girl666 Boyfriends roomate sees my magen david necklace as a "target"
My boyfriend’s roommate and I have become quite close as I spend many nights at his place and the three of us often hang out together. She is one of his closest friends, being a part of his group of longtime friends, which I have only relatively recently been introduced to. She and I get along very well and often spend time with him together, watching movies, playing games, going out, etc. She is very sweet and empathetic generally, always trying to consider the feelings of others when making her decisions. However, my being deeply affiliated with my Jewish and Israeli heritage has driven a wedge between us. Her family is Persian, Muslim and live in Kuwait. As such, her beliefs are centered in this perspective.
Anyway, bringing the story to present, the day before Mother’s Day, I complained to my boyfriend’s roommate about a situation that was bothering me. We live in a college town that is about an hour away from the nearest big city, where most of the more intense protests are happening. My mother wanted to spend Mother’s Day at a pro-Israel counter protest in the city and bring my younger sister, who having a large age gap from me, is not yet out of elementary school. I thought that this would be inappropriate, not because I didn't believe in the cause, but rather A) I would rather spend Mother’s Day in a calm environment, appreciating my family rather than getting called names by livid protesters and B) I think it’s highly inappropriate to bring a child to a protest where they could potentially be injured or exposed to hateful rhetoric from either side. So I joked with my boyfriends roommate that although I supported my mom in expressing her beliefs, I didn’t think it would be constructive to tie an Israeli flag around my neck on Mother’s Day for people to berate me. Her response honestly disgusted me so much I didn’t know what to say. She said, “ I mean you’re basically doing the same thing already by wearing your necklace”. Taken aback, I responded with something along the lines of,” I wear this as I am proud of my Jewish heritage, which has nothing to do with the actions of the Israeli government and if someone sees me as a target because of it, that is their problem. I will not take it off to accommodate their ignorance.” After that, I attempted to have a conversation with her about the conflict and our respective connections to it, but she seemed disinterested and annoyed.
I will also note that she had been handing out watermelon pins to guests at the house, which one could easily say the same about.
I have been feeling very uncomfortable speaking about anything related to Israel at the house or with our mutual friends, even when it is not related to the conflict. I am honestly just seeking perspective on what to do in this situation and how I should talk to my boyfriend about this…
TL;DR: My boyfriend's roommate and I have grown close, but my being of Israeli/Jewish heratige and her being of Arab/ Muslim descent has caused tension. I shared with her my discomfort about my mom wanting to take my little sister to a pro-Israel protest on Mother's Day. When I joked about not wanting to be targeted, she made a hurtful comment about my Jewish necklace. I tried discussing our perspectives on the conflict, but she seemed uninterested. Now, I feel uneasy talking about anything related to Israel around her and our friends.
submitted by acorn_girl666 to Jewish [link] [comments]
Anyway, bringing the story to present, the day before Mother’s Day, I complained to my boyfriend’s roommate about a situation that was bothering me. We live in a college town that is about an hour away from the nearest big city, where most of the more intense protests are happening. My mother wanted to spend Mother’s Day at a pro-Israel counter protest in the city and bring my younger sister, who having a large age gap from me, is not yet out of elementary school. I thought that this would be inappropriate, not because I didn't believe in the cause, but rather A) I would rather spend Mother’s Day in a calm environment, appreciating my family rather than getting called names by livid protesters and B) I think it’s highly inappropriate to bring a child to a protest where they could potentially be injured or exposed to hateful rhetoric from either side. So I joked with my boyfriends roommate that although I supported my mom in expressing her beliefs, I didn’t think it would be constructive to tie an Israeli flag around my neck on Mother’s Day for people to berate me. Her response honestly disgusted me so much I didn’t know what to say. She said, “ I mean you’re basically doing the same thing already by wearing your necklace”. Taken aback, I responded with something along the lines of,” I wear this as I am proud of my Jewish heritage, which has nothing to do with the actions of the Israeli government and if someone sees me as a target because of it, that is their problem. I will not take it off to accommodate their ignorance.” After that, I attempted to have a conversation with her about the conflict and our respective connections to it, but she seemed disinterested and annoyed.
I will also note that she had been handing out watermelon pins to guests at the house, which one could easily say the same about.
I have been feeling very uncomfortable speaking about anything related to Israel at the house or with our mutual friends, even when it is not related to the conflict. I am honestly just seeking perspective on what to do in this situation and how I should talk to my boyfriend about this…
TL;DR: My boyfriend's roommate and I have grown close, but my being of Israeli/Jewish heratige and her being of Arab/ Muslim descent has caused tension. I shared with her my discomfort about my mom wanting to take my little sister to a pro-Israel protest on Mother's Day. When I joked about not wanting to be targeted, she made a hurtful comment about my Jewish necklace. I tried discussing our perspectives on the conflict, but she seemed uninterested. Now, I feel uneasy talking about anything related to Israel around her and our friends.
2024.05.13 15:33 dragonpoundcake serious questions about diagnosis
LONG POST ALERT!!!! TL;DR AT THE BOTTOM :)
So, I've been considering for a while now getting a diagnosis. About two years ago now, I met a senior at my college who was autistic and wrote his thesis on autism and his personal experiences living with autism. I remember the day we met, we were walking back home together since our dorms were next to each other, and he asked if I was autistic. I'd never considered being neurodivergent until then, let alone having autism. A year after I met this senior at college, I was diagnosed with ADHD combined type. I've been doing lots of research on signs of autism, and how it presents in people of my demographic (young adult black female).
Ever since then, many, if not all of my closest friends say that it's very likely that I'm autistic. They say that I exhibit many signs of autism, and my research also indicates this as well. I struggle socially, and have trouble reading people's emotions. I have special interests that I pour a lot of my time and energy into, and I obsessively think about them and frame a lot of my experiences around them. Eye contact makes me deeply upset, and I get overstimulated easily, usually by loud sounds or bright lights. For a lot of my childhood, I rarely ever spoke. I would always make sounds and click my tongue or move my hands a certain way to calm myself down, and I still do to this day. One of my friends I met freshman year told me they thought I was nonverbal because I didn't speak once during a 4 hour event we attended.
I have a memory from elementary school that still haunts me to this day, in which I was stimming during class without knowing. I didn't know the word for it at the time, so I used to refer to it as "drawing a figure 8 with my chin", where I'd roll my neck in looping patterns whenever the sound of the classroom got too loud. The teacher called my name and asked me what I was doing, and when I stopped and looked up, everyone in the class was turned around and staring at me like I'd done something wrong. And I learned not to do anything "weird" in front of people again.
I want to try and get a diagnosis this summer, since there is a facility very close to where I live that offers services to adults with autism, and I have good insurance offered through my mother's job because she works for the state I live in. However, I also realize that my demographic is severely underrepresented in this aspect, and bias could very well skew the results if I ever got tested. I've heard many stories from friends and family of being mistreated and ignored by medical staff because of their race or sex, and I don't want that to happen to me.
On top of that, whenever I mention this to my mother, she seems to be against the idea of me possibly being autistic. When I first told her of this and all of the research I'd been doing, she said something like "why do you always have to try and find something wrong with you"? To be fair to her, I am a bit of a hypochondriac, and I have a history of stressing myself out and panicking to the point of hospitalization. But it's not like this was a spur of the moment revelation I'd had. I'd been thinking of this for months at that point, and I was serious about it. It just feels like she thinks that having autism is a disadvantage or something to be ashamed of, which it isn't.
Just this past spring break, I was prescribed dexmethylphenidate for my ADHD, after being on escitalopram for my severe anxiety for about a year. When I first started the ADHD medicine, I felt much more inclined to engage in my special interests, to the point where the first day I took it, I spent over 12 hours latch hooking, only stopping once to eat, and I finally ended when the medicine wore off that evening and my body was aching from latch hooking the entire day. When I went back to school, I found the sounds of the noisy classroom and the sight of the fluorescent lights less bearable than before. It was harder for me to sit through meetings since whoever I was speaking with would always stare at me and prevent me from listening to what they were saying. I began stimming more often, and I became more obsessed with interests I already had, in particular hummingbirds. From what I could find, there are instances where people are diagnosed with ADHD and get prescribed medication for it. The medication treats ADHD symptoms, and so the ADHD that was masking their autism is no longer there, meaning that the signs of autism are more prevalent. I think that may be what I'm experiencing now.
TL;DR I don't know if trying to get a diagnosis is right for me given my demographic, even though my extensive research suggests there's a strong possibility I have autism.
submitted by dragonpoundcake to evilautism [link] [comments]
So, I've been considering for a while now getting a diagnosis. About two years ago now, I met a senior at my college who was autistic and wrote his thesis on autism and his personal experiences living with autism. I remember the day we met, we were walking back home together since our dorms were next to each other, and he asked if I was autistic. I'd never considered being neurodivergent until then, let alone having autism. A year after I met this senior at college, I was diagnosed with ADHD combined type. I've been doing lots of research on signs of autism, and how it presents in people of my demographic (young adult black female).
Ever since then, many, if not all of my closest friends say that it's very likely that I'm autistic. They say that I exhibit many signs of autism, and my research also indicates this as well. I struggle socially, and have trouble reading people's emotions. I have special interests that I pour a lot of my time and energy into, and I obsessively think about them and frame a lot of my experiences around them. Eye contact makes me deeply upset, and I get overstimulated easily, usually by loud sounds or bright lights. For a lot of my childhood, I rarely ever spoke. I would always make sounds and click my tongue or move my hands a certain way to calm myself down, and I still do to this day. One of my friends I met freshman year told me they thought I was nonverbal because I didn't speak once during a 4 hour event we attended.
I have a memory from elementary school that still haunts me to this day, in which I was stimming during class without knowing. I didn't know the word for it at the time, so I used to refer to it as "drawing a figure 8 with my chin", where I'd roll my neck in looping patterns whenever the sound of the classroom got too loud. The teacher called my name and asked me what I was doing, and when I stopped and looked up, everyone in the class was turned around and staring at me like I'd done something wrong. And I learned not to do anything "weird" in front of people again.
I want to try and get a diagnosis this summer, since there is a facility very close to where I live that offers services to adults with autism, and I have good insurance offered through my mother's job because she works for the state I live in. However, I also realize that my demographic is severely underrepresented in this aspect, and bias could very well skew the results if I ever got tested. I've heard many stories from friends and family of being mistreated and ignored by medical staff because of their race or sex, and I don't want that to happen to me.
On top of that, whenever I mention this to my mother, she seems to be against the idea of me possibly being autistic. When I first told her of this and all of the research I'd been doing, she said something like "why do you always have to try and find something wrong with you"? To be fair to her, I am a bit of a hypochondriac, and I have a history of stressing myself out and panicking to the point of hospitalization. But it's not like this was a spur of the moment revelation I'd had. I'd been thinking of this for months at that point, and I was serious about it. It just feels like she thinks that having autism is a disadvantage or something to be ashamed of, which it isn't.
Just this past spring break, I was prescribed dexmethylphenidate for my ADHD, after being on escitalopram for my severe anxiety for about a year. When I first started the ADHD medicine, I felt much more inclined to engage in my special interests, to the point where the first day I took it, I spent over 12 hours latch hooking, only stopping once to eat, and I finally ended when the medicine wore off that evening and my body was aching from latch hooking the entire day. When I went back to school, I found the sounds of the noisy classroom and the sight of the fluorescent lights less bearable than before. It was harder for me to sit through meetings since whoever I was speaking with would always stare at me and prevent me from listening to what they were saying. I began stimming more often, and I became more obsessed with interests I already had, in particular hummingbirds. From what I could find, there are instances where people are diagnosed with ADHD and get prescribed medication for it. The medication treats ADHD symptoms, and so the ADHD that was masking their autism is no longer there, meaning that the signs of autism are more prevalent. I think that may be what I'm experiencing now.
TL;DR I don't know if trying to get a diagnosis is right for me given my demographic, even though my extensive research suggests there's a strong possibility I have autism.