First, for context; I was raised in a household where I would get either physically or mentally beaten if I did something wrong. For example, if I were to talk back to my mother she would mentally hurt me, which is why I have a low ego and constant suicidal thoughts. Now I'm an even worse person who gets mad every time someone comes into my room.
My mom believes that I am an asshole and I do too. I also get mad when anyone touches me without permission, causing me to flinch back and make them either worried or upset. I have lashed out at my own mother for touching me multiple times without permission and she tends to insult me when I do so.
I do have feelings, I'm not some emotionless person who doesn't care about anyone at all, (Not that people who hide their emotions are all like that) but I like to keep my bad emotions hidden since I used to get bullied for being the crybaby. My bad emotions are saved until I'm at home and reading, that's when I let all my bad emotions out. Nobody cares about how I'm doing (if I'm feeling bad), and I enjoy that lack of attention; which is why I like keeping my emotions hidden.
I found a quote that perfectly describes how I am in public: Chin up, Princess, or the crown slips. I'm not sure where it comes from, or who said it, but in my mind I'm always saying to myself Don't show your emotions, or you'll face bullying again. I hate myself for this, but I feel I should get over it.
Anyways, enough backstory, I just accidentally hurt my dog because I was mad, but gave her some treats right after because I felt bad. I feel like an asshole because I feel like I mentally hurt everyone around me. I don't deserve anyone who's nice to me because I just put on a mask so I can keep friends. I'm the definition of a faker and I don't get why I'm still alive if I just hurt everyone around me. I take everyone for granted and if they get mad at me my mask just slips off. The only negative emotion I show in public is anger and even when I do show my anger I just get backlash anyways so I always try to apologise either the next day or in the next 2 hours. Sorry to anyone who's actually taking time out of their day to read this, I know it's long. I've been forgotten by my father, who left when I was born; He doesn't even have partial custody and he forgot that I exist, leading him to forget my birthday last year. I'm basically the opposite of a narcissist, (for anyone reading this who doesn't know what a narcissist is: it's someone who has too high of an ego) meaning I hate everything about me, from my mind to my body to my personality to my life. I have thoughts of death every day and I know most people want long happy lives, but I don't.
I kind of just feel the want to get on a private jet as the pilot and purposely crash the plane.
I do self harm, but not cutting, I'll get into that later. I already have the tools to hurt myself. I sometimes pick at my body while finding everything that people hate about me, even if they don't say it. I honestly am a brat, and my mom is so helpful at cheering me up. Lies. She is awesome at making me feel better about myself. Lies. My dad is always there for me. Lies. My life is absolutely awesome. More lies. I honestly hate everything about me, like I already said. I feel like everyone I love is so happy and has a great life, other than this one friends of mine who is going through the same thing as me. We both seemed to have started getting suicidal thoughts for the same reasons. Our grandparents hate us (In my case grandparent) and they treat us like dog shit as if we're not human. We also started having these thoughts at the beginning of our fourth grade year (In which we were in the same class.) The only two things keeping me alive right now is that I'm a fucking pussy who can't act on her thoughts, and that I have things to research that I wish I had. A recent example was a study of skin cancer. I believe I have a disorder called Body Dysmorphia, meaning I see my body as a very disoriented version of it. People say I'm skinny but when I look in a mirror I see something different. I enjoy starving myself, which is one of the only types of self harm I do; The other type of self harm consists of picking at my skin with any objects that will pinch, basically I would use a crabs claw if I got that desperate to feel pain. Pain brings me joy for some reason. I'm not talented, I'm only skilled. I have nothing special to keep me going and I'm a financial burden on my already struggling mother. Sometimes I just think of killing myself but then I think about why my mom would think. All of her friends either forget about her, abandon her, or die.
I can't talk to my mom about anything, because she's not reliable with emotions. What I can rely on her to do is feed my want for my life to end quickly.

Hi I’m a 29 year old female. When I was 13, I fell pregnant. This wasn’t a consensual relationship, I was a virgin who didn’t really even know how babies were made, i still played with barbies, I was raped by my friends 23 year old brother during a sleepover.
I didn’t tell anybody. I didn’t know I was pregnant, Id only started my periods a few months prior so there absence didn’t concern me and like I said, I didn’t really know how babies were made beyond the basics. I found out I was pregnant at 29 weeks when I went to ER with my parents for stomach pain.
My parents were very angry at me despite the circumstances. He was convicted and imprisoned. They tried to find a doctor who’d give me an abortion but none would due to gestation. They said I had to give the baby up and I went along with it, I had no support from them and I grew up having a very cold relationship with them. When my daughter was born I was inconsolable and didn’t want to give her up. I refused to and my daughter was forcefully taken from me at the hospital. After which I was hysterical and had to be sedated. I made attempts on my life in the months after that. I was then put in to boarding school, where I stayed until I was 18.
It wasn’t an open adoption, I was allowed to leave a letter with her and I also left her my necklace which was my prized possession at the time. The adoptive mother stated she wanted no contact which I was devastated about but the social worker told me I could have contact when she turned 18. After I turned 18 and left boarding school, I moved in with my Nan whilst attending university. My Nan gave me so much love and care and was very disappointed in my parents (my Nan had no knowledge of me even being pregnant)
When I was 21 I graduated and I also got pregnant, that relationship didn’t work out but I’ve since married and had 3 more children. But I’ve never stopped thinking about my first born. I gave birth to her on my 14th birthday so we share a birthday and every birthday I feel like I’m grieving. I go through periods of just crying and staying in bed feeling guilty at what I’d done. I still feel so guilty and I can’t cope with guilt.
Anyway, my daughter who is now 15 found me on Facebook 2 weeks ago (I have a distinct name and I still use my maiden name on there) she messaged me an angry message and then blocked me so I couldn’t even respond.
She messaged me saying that she hates me and I’m dead to her, she told me how much she loves her adoptive mother and as far as she’s concerned I don’t exist. She says I’ve turned her in to a “messed up person” She told me how she thought I was a disgusting person for giving her up for adoption because I wanted to “enjoy life without the burden of a child” her words. She called me a slut (among other words) and questioned why I was having sex at 13. She said that she hoped my other children die and called them racist terms (they are mixed) because she is angry that I kept them and not her and that she felt that meant I wasn’t good enough. She then went on to say her adoptive mother told her that
1: My parents (her bio grandparents) wanted her but I refused to look after her and wanted her to be adopted.
2: I wanted an abortion and told adoptive mother that I wished I could have had an abortion
3: That adoptive mother had reached out to me when I was 21 and pregnant with her first sibling to ask if I wanted contact, and I (according to her birth mum) said I didn’t care about her and wanted to forget the whole thing and asked her not to contact me again. (God knows if that had actually happened I would have jumped at the chance)
4: That I was sleeping around with a lot of men my age and didn’t know her bio dad as I’d been with so many male school friends which is why I got sent to boarding school because I was “out of control”
All the above are just outright lies. I am glad she doesn’t know the circumstances of her conception, I’d be happy if bio mum had told her for example that her father was a childhood boyfriend of mine because the truth is something she shouldn’t know until she’s older, but to suggest I was sleeping around with multiple men at the age of 13 and didn’t know who he was is disgusting when it’s not true.
Im not able to contact her back because she’s blocked me. I’ve looked at her profile from my husbands account, I’ve seen her bio mums Facebook profile but I don’t intend to contact either of them as much as I want to because I guess I will just tell her everything when she’s 18 if she wants to hear it because perhaps now is not the appropriate age.
Her mums Facebook shows that she is her only child, that she’s now divorced (her and her husband adopted my daughter so she’s since divorced him) they seem very close and have lots of pictures together.
My daughters Facebook is concerning and it’s public so I could see everything. She posts quotes about depression and anxiety, has scars on her wrists which I fear may be SH scars) writes status’ such as “no body cares about me I may as well just die” constantly posts pictures laying in a hospital bed.
I have since informed social services about what I’ve seen on Facebook and they’ve just told me that they can not discuss this with me due to confidentiality as she’s legally not my child but have said they can assure me that they are doing everything necessary to ensure she is ok.
I don’t really know what to do. She has a false impression of me told by her adoptive mother. None of which is true, she was so wanted and I’ve never got over it. I now fear that her thinking I rejected her and didn’t want her and she wasn’t good enough has led to some serious mental health issues and potentially these will only get worse or she could harm herself very badly based on lots of lies.
I want her to know I love her, I want her to know I wanted her but I was forced to give her up, I want her to know that I still love her and always will and that I’d do anything for her. I want to tell her I was never contacted by adoptive mother and had I have been I would have jumped at the opportunity to even just talk to my daughter. I want to tell her that I do know her bio father and I wasn’t sleeping with multiple men (although the truth regarding the rape shouldn’t be disclosed right now) I just want her to know all of this, but I’m powerless until she is 18. I have been told if I message her from a different account since I’m blocked I could face legal charges.
I am so scared of her hurting herself based on lies. Her adoptive mum whilst I believe does love her, has poisoned my daughter against me in an attempt to get my daughter to hate me because she doesn’t want daughter potentially coming back to me or forming a relationship with me and her getting pushed out, so she’s said all of this to make that impossible so she will be her only mother.
But that’s to the detriment of my daughter, my daughter clearly has mental health issues and whilst they could be from other things I know that feeling unloved, unwanted and having being told this information that is outright lies must be weighing heavily on her and making her feel inadequate. I can’t imagine if I was adopted and I heard things like that about my bio mum, it would devastate me and I would hate myself.
I don’t know what I’m hoping to gain from this post just looking for advice. I can contact her in 3 years. But I’m scared in those 3 years something bad could happen with the way her mental health is, and that something bad may happen without her knowing the truth about how much I love her.
I’ve been off sick from work since, I have been an emotional wreck. I just hope she’s okay even if she does hate me. Of course I’d love to tell her the truth but more than anything I want her to know the truth for the sake of her own mental well-being even if that means she still doesn’t want to speak to me. Social services just keep telling me that they can’t discuss anything with her about me beyond the basics of the fact that she’s adopted. The rest is down to adoptive mother to disclose if she wishes. When she is 18 she will get access to her file and know the true circumstances but until then, everything she knows is based on lies.

My husband (30M) and I (28F) got our second retriever who was already 75lbs at 9 months living in a small apartment with a full time nursing student. She said she just can’t give him the life he needs because of school and where she lives. We took him in. We started socializing him early on and I worked on training. I work from home so I can take time training, feeding, and providing attention to him. He had bit me a handful of times because he didn’t want to listen when I told him to stop or leave it (not touching him). Each time he had bitten me my husband questions me and asks “what were you doing? Why would he bite you” or “don’t discipline him, you know he’s going to bite.” Never does he asks if I’m ok or come and handle the situation but instead say dismissive things like it’s my fault. We had taken him to the beach once and he was sitting with me on the beach while my husband was in the ocean. A toddler and dad came up to ask if they could pet him. I said yes! Next thing I know he bites the kid! I was mortified and anxious. Asked if he’s okay and they quickly walked away. I told my husband and he was not bothered by it. After that, any time we go on vacation I drop him off at boarding. One of the places, after watching him a few times, had told me “they are happy to watch our one dog but they can’t watch him.” This boarding place is not only boarding but a board and train facility who is highly recommended in our community. I’m embarrassed. He continues to bite and snap and my husband continues to dismiss and question me like “well why didn’t the dad come and get me when he bit his child” or “yeah right, why would they watch one of our dogs and not him”. I had multiple times told him I’m concerned about our safety because he is unpredictable and is hard to train.
Mind you, I’m the one that stays at home and works full time for the government, works as a pet sitter as a side hustle, manages the home (fixes things, and calls professionals out when needed), the pets, the vacations, and the finances (my husband just graduated medical school so he wasn’t making money and even now, I manage the finances). My husband and I both have advanced degrees but with him having been in medical school and now residency, I have the most flexibility to take care of basically everything. All I’m asking for in my marriage is understanding, sympathy, and support (not that we have to agree on everything).
I’ve been very unhappy in my own house and anxious when guests come over especially with little ones or pregnant friends.
I am tired of my husband saying “his experience with him is different and doesn’t see why I don’t want him.” As a side note, my husband is like this with every “me” issue and dismisses toxic/concerning behavior from our dog and his mom. I was exhausted of his responses to everything serious and saying it’s fine or questioning me that I attempted s*****.
After my attempt, I tried telling my husband that we need to get him a behaviorist and/or training. I had called several places and got quotes. He told me and our therapist that he “doesn’t want to spend the money on it (really “my money”) and that we can do it ourselves” and he “honestly doesn’t think he needs training.”
I bit the bullet and paid for training because my husband is so desperate to keep him. Literally at the first assessment the trainer said “I could see why you would be concerned. You have to decide what you want. Once you decide to start a family you have to think about what is best. He is a pretty dog and him sure he will quickly find a home if choose to do that. You’re not a bad person for considering to rehome him.”
My mom tried talking to him about the dog and my mom’s perspective is that came off as “this is a her problem and I don’t see the issue.” Even recently, now that I am pregnant, his brothers have all agreed that our dog is a lot and that they’ve all had to consider the safety of their babies.
My husband has told me “you don’t need to resent him” or how “I’ll be a bad mom because I have favorites.”
This week my husband was bitten for the first time and he had drawn blood. My husband who is a doctor didn’t want to go get stitches from his work so I superglued his wound. He hasn’t told any of his friends, family, or his doctor friends. He continues to say “yeah it’s a concern but I don’t think he will bite our children” and how “it was his fault he got bitten in the first place.”
I’m just tired of how my husband doesn’t think that this dog is a concern, that actually he is fine and doesn’t need help, and that he makes multiple comments about how I will be as a mother to my kids. I have tried and done everything. And it still feels like my husband picks the dog over my mental health, the safety of our family, and honestly what is best for our dog before he is put down.
Am I overreacting? How I treat my one dog vs my other animals will make me a bad parent? Am I delusional and should continue to give our dog a chance? Just need some perspective.

Hi, I'd like to start with introducing myself. I'm 24F and Last year this time of the year, I was dating a guy who was a follower of the red pill community. We were in a long distance relationship and met only a few times. The relationship was about 8-9 Months long. For people who are not aware about it, Red pill community is a group of guys that blame females for all there problems and they feel that females are privileged and hence, They've always have an upper hand and have ruined their life by taking away their opportunities and what now.
I wasnt aware what i was getting myself into but I want to make others aware. So I'll talk about the various "red flags" of my relationship and how it affected me. I am not longer in a relationship with that guys.

1. Guy Friends: We meet online and his initial communication never showed any hatred for women as such. He seemed interested in me and quickly asked me to date him as well. He would often "praise" that I had no guy friends which was a "green flag". (In reality I had no friends, let alone male friends.) He said girls with boyfriends should not have guy friends. Its disrespectful to the boyfriend. Even thou, He has a female best friend. I took this lightly. Later in our relationship, he made me unfollow a bunch of guys on instagram. They were former classmates and colleagues. I'd not met most of them for years and months. He would often ask me if my dad had female friends or if my mom had male friends and when I would say no. He would say, See because one shouldnt friends of opposite gender
   
2. Clubbing: He hated girls who were open about their sexuality and would call them names. He said girls in a relationship should not go to clubs as thats a "hoe" place to be in. I remember fighting to go to a club when an old friend was visiting me and she wanted to go to one of our fave clubs from our college days. He said he is disappointed in me and that going to clubs with a single friend is the worst as she might try to hook up with guys and I'll be left alone and then someone will hookup with me. He said and I quote "I will not leave my car in a shady areas and pray to god that it doesnt get stolen. It's my mistake I went there at the first place." I ended up going to a bar instead of a club. He made me feel really bad about that as well later.
   
3. Content: After the 2nd month he would send me red pill youtube and reddit content to normalize such preaching and thats when things really got out of hand because I didnt know what to believe and what not to. I thought maybe I was delusional my whole life and that this is the "reality of the world" where women are these "ruthless" beings. (He said I was special because I was trying to make myself aware about it). He specifically showed and talked about this one story where the wife cheats on her husband because he's always busy at work (He said the poor guy is working his ass off for the family and the wife is so ungrateful) The wife cheats and marries her boyfriend and takes the kid and the guy's money and what not. I'm not saying cheating is good but the interruption of every story led to the same conclusion that women are bad. He said this is the reality. I started questioning myself more and more as I got trapped in the red-pill community.
   
4. Future: He was very sure about our future and said that he wanted me to be his wife. He said he doesnt want me to work. Females should stay at home cook and clean and take care of the babies. He said it would hurt him to see me work as he's the man of the house.
   
5. Comments on Body: I'm overweight atm but when I was dating him I used to be in better shape. He said He likes that I take care of my body and anything else would be a disrespect to the person you are dating. One should always look like how they looked when they first started dating. One shouldnt "let go" of their body. He used to go to the gym and would insist that I go to. Later in the relationship towards the end, I started my masters and Couldnt be active. The relationship was taking a toll on me as well and I started gaining weight. He would comment on it. I would share photos with him and the first comment would always be like "you look thin in this" or " Oh! In picture toh you look fine only " He did motivate me to go to the gym which i was grateful about but at that point I only went to make him happy and not because I actually wanted to go.
   

These were some of the red flags I could think about. He cheated on me. He had been cheating the last 3 Months of our relationship. He initially broke up saying I had gained weight and he wasnt attracted to me and also because he couldnt see any future in our LDR. Later he confessed that he had been cheating on me and left me because he started getting physical with the other girl and it was no longer "just talking". He said I was trying to get rid of me for a while but I never let him leave. All in All. It ended. It took me quite some thing to realize how I was brainwashed into accepting a whole new reality masked as ' I love you thats why I'm helping you understand the real world'.
I have trust issues (ofc!) and It's been hard to undo the damage. I started dated a new guy recently and caught myself saying You cant have girl best friends and it broke my heart later when I realized. Its a long healing path for me. If any of you are experiencing something similar, Please be aware.

Long Rant here and i dont really care if i get downvoted or banned.
But what the fuck are we celebrating?
Oh yeah, we fucked our country to the point where our own Tamil brothers and sisters (with whom weve lived side by side with for good portions of the last 2000 years), felt like they had no choice but to pick up a g*n and start a war. And then have that war destory the entire island for 30 years. And then only have the war end in the death of tens of thousands of innocent civilians.
Yeah go us! /s
WTF is wrong with everyone? The fact that people celebrate this as "Victory" Day is not only so unbelievably insensitive but just proves that our people havent learnt SHIT.
Im not saying you have to be spineless and lick the ass of LTTE either. They did fucked up shit to Sinhala people and Muslim people (including ethnic cleansing, bombings and all the other fucked up stuff), and even Tamil people too. There is a time and place for that criticism too.
But my god, look at things in context. There were at least 4 seperate pogroms against Tamils prior to the war. When Tamils protested peacefully, they were violently assaulted or ignored.
Ill tell you a story of one of my uncles. He is one of dads oldest friends. This is a man who has known me since birth and i have photos of me sitting on his lap when I was a kid.
A few years ago my dad told me of what happened to this uncle during Black July '83. He was hiding in a drain on the side of the road desperately trying to avoid being found by the racist murderous mobs of Sinhala rioters.
Can you imagine that? A human being hiding in a drain because he was that scared?
Its very easy to say LTTE this, Tamil Diaspora this etc etc. But all of this is a symptom of what the country has created. The cruelty we have inflicted upon them.
For a country apparently based on "Buddhism" and protecting the "values of the Dhamma", we sure do a great job of showing absolutely zero compassion for people when it becomes slightly inconvenient.
I dont know how well I expressed myself but here are a few quotes from Lasantha Wickramatunge, a Sinhala journalist who was allegedly assassinated by the Government in 2009. These quotes are still relevant today.
"we have consistently espoused the view that while separatist terrorism must be eradicated, it is more important to address the root causes of terrorism, and urged government to view Sri Lanka’s ethnic strife in the context of history and not through the telescope of terrorism. We have also agitated against state terrorism in the so-called war against terror, and made no secret of our horror that Sri Lanka is the only country in the world routinely to bomb its own citizens. For these views we have been labelled traitors, and if this be treachery, we wear that label proudly."
"What is more, a military occupation of the country’s north and east will require the Tamil people of those regions to live eternally as second-class citizens, deprived of all self respect. Do not imagine that you can placate them by showering “development” and “reconstruction” on them in the post-war era. The wounds of war will scar them forever, and you will also have an even more bitter and hateful Diaspora to contend with. A problem amenable to a political solution will thus become a festering wound that will yield strife for all eternity. If I seem angry and frustrated, it is only because most of my countrymen - and all of the government - cannot see this writing so plainly on the wall."

OK, so basically for I think the last 3 years my dad has been going insane, well no really but yeah, he has been spiraling into believing that the world was created by the Almighty or whatever that means and that half of the people on this earth are lizards or biorobots, that baby's cry because they remember their past lives and stuff(just to name a few) and the worst of all, that all religion, especially Christianity is "satanic", that the God we pray to isn't the one who he really is and every one was just lied to in to believing that he's good and we're all in a cult and just being manipulated. The thing is, that he was I guess more of a lukewarm Christian/he didn't really believe in God that much and all of this came ou of nowhere(all though he injured his spine really badly and my mom thinks that all of this is from being very badly injured to the point he can't sleep some nights). There were other things that also came with the whole "believing in conspiracy there stuff" but I digress.
The problem is that for the last year me and some other friends/classmates have been preparing to get our confirmation sacrament tomorrow. I've been a lukewarm warm Christian my whole life and this year thanks to our amazing sister I have really understood what our beautiful religion is really about and strengthend my relationship with God. For the past year I have been trying to attend church as much ass possible and did really well all whilst making sure that my dad didn't find out about it. And the one time he found out I went to church with my mom he said something under his breath about it being stupid and that I could spend my time doing something else (but I'd didnt quite hear). So my conformation is tomorrow and my mom said that we really have to tell him since he does have a right to know, and maybe there would be a chance of him showing up to the ceremony. After he came home my mom told him, and I was in my room so I didn't quite hear what he said I did hear him saying that "as a father I forbid this "satanic" ritual to happen" or whatever. I know he won't hurt me and if he tries to stop me from leaving my home mom said she'll call the police and he sure as he'll dosent whant to get involved with them but I'm scared of all the screaming he can do and eve though I've delt with It before this time I'm scared it'll be different.
Now, my mom knew about this, she has been my support sistem and is totally supportive of my decision but im scared of what is going to happen tomorrow and even though my mom said not to worry and that she'll take care of it I'm still scared, I mean we had a quite bad relationship with him in the first place, since for the last 3 years he's been here but not present (if you know what I mean). And I really don't know how to get him about of that horrible mindset.
P.s sorry if my English is bad I'm live in Eastern Europe and English isn't my first language (I know there a lot to read but I just don't know what to do and need help)

First lf all, hello potatoes! This is my first ever post on anything, so bear with me!
I (21f), have an aunt who I've finally decided to go no contact with after years of her bs. For the sake of this post, let's call her EA. EA has always been a narcissist, though none of us really did anything about it for a while.
For instance, when I was young, about 12 or 13, she decided it would be a good idea to take me and my three siblings to a youth group, even though we never wanted to. She pretty much dragged us over there and would act like she was doing something good for us so we could pay her back later. We never wanted to go, because of some issues we had with the last religious group we went to, and it became painful for us to deal with.
Anyway, we ended up being late to an event one night, and the entire 30 minute drive down, she had been complaining about how late we were. Once we had gotten to the building, she went inside and talked to the person in charge about it. My siblings and I had come in and she locked eyes with me.
"Thanks a lot, kids."
That's all she had to say to us, then proceeded to complain to the person in charge over the whole ordeal. Being as young as I was and as sensitive as I was at the time, I held on to that feeling. Eventually, we stopped going, again because it was hard for us and EA made it unbearable.
Several years went by, and not long after I had graduated, she had come back into my life, in a much more violent way than before. I had moved out for school and work, so I wasn't physically there, but I heard about it after the fact. It turns out, while my parents and EA had gone to an appointment they both had in the nearest city (3+ hour drive), she had attacked my mother. Not verbally, but physically. She had pounced on her and left scratches and bruises. The cause of the fight? Some water on her butt. She threw a whole fit and physically attacked my mother, over a little bit of water on her butt.
Let me tell you, I was fuming when I had heard about it. She even went so far as to insult us when she attacked my mother, and I'll never forget it.
"You're raising your kids to be just like you!"
She made it sound like a bad thing for us to turn out like my mother. Now, my mother is a kind woman with a soft heart and a soft spot for dogs and cats. She loves crystals and plants, and she loves cloudy days and being by the ocean. She accepts all of us for who we are, and makes inappropriate jokes for us to laugh at. To hear EA insult my mother made me angry, but she had told me not to put any energy into it.
EA began to get worse afterwards. I was working a job that was slowly killing me, and whenever she'd visit, she had that sickly sweet 'I'm tolerating you enough to talk to you' look on her face and tone in her voice. When I was moved to nights, I was hoping to never deal with her again. But then, my grandmother fell down.
I heard about it during one of my shifts, and when I had gotten off, I couldn't sleep. I was afraid something would happen to her if I was asleep, so I stayed awake until my bf (21m) woke up. I told him the situation and we had a talk about it, and we both agreed that it would be best if I moved back to take care of her. So, on my first day off, I packed all my stuff and left. I texted my boss, who I wasn't on good terms with, and told her the situation. I pretty much handed in my two week notice, but only gave her two days.
So, I came home and moved in with my grandma so I could take care of her. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishes, anything and everything she needed done, I would do it. I was lucky enough to be able to bring my dog, a chihuahua dashund pug mix, to live with me. Spud made things a bit easier for me, considering everything that I had given up and what was going on. It felt like things were gonna get better.
Until my grandmother had to go to the hospital. I wish I was kidding, but I'm not. She couldn't get out of bed one morning, and since I didn't know what to do, I panicked and called my father. He came and checked on her, gave her an oxygen treatment, and when things didn't improve, he called EA so they could go to the hospital. I was freaking out and pacing around on the balcony, trying to calm down as they carried her to the car and drove to the hospital two towns over. She got better, so that helped, but it scared me so badly I couldn't sleep for a while. We were given an oxygen machine and told to have her on it as often as possible. That first night was terrible. I hadn't slept at all that night, or for the next few nights, because I was afraid of what would happen if I did.
To help with this, my father bought a baby monitor so I could make sure she was okay, and after a few days, I was feeling much better. EA began showing up, when she hadn't come at all before the hospital visit. When she did, the first thing she did was complain.
My little sis (11f), was helping me clean, and we had finished doing what my grandmother needed us to do when EA had come in. The first thing she said to us was that we should be cleaning, and began cleaning the stuff we didn't get to. She then started to complain about how we weren't doing these tasks that my grandmother never asked us to do. My sister and I just looked at each other with confusion. I could tell she was feeling bad, but it wasn't her job to do in the first place. EA took her cleaning to my grandmother's bedroom, and she stayed in there for a long time.
I began to get worried, so I ended up heading to my room downstairs to check the monitor, only to find EA had covered it. I sat, confused by what she had done. It's not like I had the monitor there to snoop around, it was only there to make sure my grandmother was okay. I shrugged it off and uncovered it before I went to bed that night. After a few days, I had decided to make the trip to see my bf. It was almost a 2 hour drive, so I wanted to leave early. I asked my little brother (18), to watch over everything while I was gone for a few days. He agreed for the price of some dark chocolate for his own mochas in the morning. I agreed, and made sure he knew what medications my grandparents had to take and when, where the blood pressure cuff was and how to use it, and the device to check my grandmother's oxygen. After that, I packed the clothes I'd need for four days, and left.
Things were going smoothly for a while. I was laughing and relaxing with my bf, watching videos he had saved to show me, and going on dates, talking and catching up. On the third day, I got a text from my brother saying that he was angry. I asked why, and he explained everything.
He said EA had showed up, and was trying to make me and my sister sound like thieves. She claimed we had gotten into some drinks meant for my uncle, who's diabetic and also lives with my grandmother. I told him I don't drink that particular brand anymore, and my sister only ever got into the milk and some cold water. I showed my bf the messages, and we both had a good laugh over it. He knew that I don't drink that particular brand, and that I enjoy a different brand altogether, so we thought it was just ridiculous.
It continued like this for a while. EA would make little comments and talk with my grandmother about certain topics, trying to make me and my sister sound like we were against her. All the while, I was doing my usual job of cooking and cleaning for her and making sure she was okay. I was pretty much untouchable in her eyes.
My mother had come by to visit for a while and make sure everything was okay one day. We talked, she helped me cook, and we just had a good time, until EA popped in unannounced. My grandmother, wanting them to fix their relationship as sisters, stopped my mother from leaving the kitchen and told them to hug. I was watching the whole thing and heard EA say something thst just made me want to yell.
"Are you gonna attack me again?"
She made herself sound like the victim, and made it seem like my mother had attacked her. They hugged, and things proceeded to get worse from there. I refused to talk to EA when she came by, and I'd watch when she started her random cleaning. If she went into my grandmother's bedroom, I'd go downstairs, watch the monitor and try to make sure she wasn't stealing anything. She coveted the camera again and again, which slowly drove me crazy. I regret not talking to her about it.
She did it again when I was on another trip to see my bf, and this time, my brother called her out on it. He told her to stop covering the camera, that it was only there to make sure my grandmother was okay at night, nothing more. According to him, EA began yelling at him and puffing her chest out over the whole thing, while my brother acted more mature and waited for her to finish. He then asked if she was done, to which she huffed. He was getting pretty angry over it. I had him tell me everything thst was going on, so I was up to date while I was gone.
This would continue for a few more weeks, and again, while I was away, EA would confront my brother, but this time, she said something thst made me lose it. My brother was telling my uncle that it probably wasn't a good idea to take a pastry with him downstairs, since it had a bunch of sugar. EA went ballistic over this and started getting in my brother's face, yelling about it and calling him a few names like r-tard, and said, and I quote, "No wonder you were bullied, you deserved it."
For context, my brother faced severe bullying when we were in school. He was thrown around, threatened, hit, and more. He also has an accent due to having multiple earaches as a baby, so sometimes, it's hard to understand him. He's a smart kid, with a good heart, and having a middle aged swamp monster with a superiority complex getting in his face and yelling at him about how stupid he was and saying he deserved to be bullied broke me and hurt him. He didn't show it, but I know it hurt him.
When I found out, I was angry, sad, and an all around mess. My bf read the messages and didn't know what to do. I was ranting and rambling angrily by this point, in tears and just about seeing red. I was getting more angry as I talked about it, completely unaware that while my bf was playing a game, he was playing with a friend, and they could hear everything. They heard my voice beginning to shake as I let out all my frustrations, and they heard how angry I was that this haggard hoghag of a woman could treat my little brother like that. I ended up crying myself to sleep that night, I was so furious.
After that, she kept coming around and trying to make all of us sound like the villains of the tale while she was the goodie two shoes. I cut all contact with her, refused to talk to her or even acknowledge her existence, and just continued to enjoy myself. My sister had some other plans
EA is diabetic, so she can't really have sugar, so my sister had an idea to pay her back, at least a little. EA had come over to open oysters with us. My grandmother had ordered them for me and my sister, because we enjoyed them so much. My sister decided to get some Popsicles from the freezer upstairs and started to eat one in front of EA. She also handed one to me, so I could enjoy too. We got some looks from EA, but I don't remember hearing her say anything. Later on, we even went so far as to make delicious chocolate chip banana bread while she was there, so she couldn't have some but had to deal with the temptation. I guess this could count as a petty revenge story, but I don't know where else to put this. I just wanted to get this story off of my chest and hear what the other petty potatoes think about this.
So, AITA for going to contact with my aunt? And for going so far as to make treats she can't have?

[FIRST][LAST]
Atlantis Commission
Officer Report - Lieutenant Colonel John Shepard
CLEARANCE LEVEL 5
Well this had definitely been a very interesting couple of hours. This dimension and its people had very odd opinions and ideas. Apparently the prey species of this dimension were all obligate cowards, whose instincts compelled them to be non-violent and run from threats. At least according to themselves. There were apparently some of them who were “predator diseased” as they called it, a disease which often resulted in increased violence, aggression, lack of empathy, and unheard like behavior. It sounded to me like some form of infectious psychopathy, but the venlil assured us it shouldn't affect us since we were predators, which didn’t really ease my fears, but hopefully it was something we could figure out when we got home if it ever became a problem.
Gotta love mandatory quarantine periods woo hoo!
As scary as this odd disease sounded, my main concern at the moment was to try and turn a professed coward into someone who could at the very least defend themselves.
I looked down to the table of gear ahead of me and then over to the mostly naked Venlil to my side, and then even farther to Tiel’c who thought It would be a good idea to help oversee Farva’s rapid fire training course. I fiddled with the bluetooth earpiece which was rigged up to one of our handhelds to run a translation program to speak directly with the captain. A big step up from our unknowingly one sided communications earlier.
I stepped on the other side of the plastic table and placed my hands down upon it and looked on at my new student..
“Welcome Captain Farva to our very impromptu accelerated course on Human arms armor and basic infantry tactics.” I said gesturing to the hodge podge gear we had managed to assemble for the good captain. “Are we ready to begin?”.
She flicked her ears, somewhat nervously by the looks.
“I’d take it that's a yes then?”
“Oh yes sorry”
“Alright then, well given that most of our crew is human and the only other alien struts around naked all the time, the only gear we have on hand is for humans, So you're going to be running size smalls and it's all going to fit all a bit big” I say as I toss her the tactical vest. ”Here try this on, we can try to tighten it up if it's a bit loose anywhere”. The captain wrestles with the buckles a bit, and Teal'c helps her tighten up some of the top straps, as the Venil’s shoulders weren't as broad as humans. Farva gave Teal’c an odd look, but seemed appreciative none the less.Once finished, she grasped the vest in her paws with interest. “This armor seems quite lightweight, which is nice, weight is often an issue that causes us to forgo armor, since heavy armor would hurt our running ability.” Farva remarks. “Also the sheer amount of pockets seems quite excessive, what do you need all these for?”
“Well for starters it's currently missing these '' I hand Farva one of the armor plates which she looks over. “That is a depleted Naquadria ceramic composite plate. It’s designed to stop bullet impacts and dissipate energy weapon blasts. It slots into that chest compartment in the front and back of your armor.”
“This isn't quite what Id imagine for the armor of your kind”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Well judging by your ships I would have imagined you would put more emphasis on defense Your predatory nature would make you less likely to run away from conflict allowing for more encompassing armor to cover more than just your chest, since you have less need to run.”
She would put it like that.
“Well there are a number of reasons for that, a lot to do with those excess pockets you mentioned. For starters you will not be carrying the same amount of gear that the standard infantry unit would normally be carrying, we are preparing you for a quick in and out op. Normally us expedition teams need to be deployed into unknown territory for extended periods of time, we need to carry everything we might need with us from food, bullets, weapons, to comms gear, sensors, repelling equipment etc. The weight from all that gear adds up fast; In order to stay sufficiently mobile and combat effective; we only carry enough armor to protect our vitals, head and torso, anything else can hopefully be patched up by a field medic.”
Tielc gave his piece as well. “It is important to know when to run both towards and aways from one's foes, not every battle can be won through strength alone, but by strategy and cunning. Being able to reposition oneself quickly is therefore highly advantageous”
Farva seemed to freeze at Teal'c's statement, not out of fear I think, she instead had a distant look in her eye. To snap her out of her slump I handed her a standard ballistic helmet.
Seeming to get the idea she looked at it oddly and tried it on. It confirmed to her head shape decently well but depressed her ears to either side of her head, kind of resembling what one might imagine a sad bunny rabbit to look like “I don't think this will be something I can bring with me” she said ” I can't use ear signals and this will muffle my hearing.”
“Why don’t you keep it on for the time being, I think any extra hearing protection might be useful considering what we are about to try next.” I hand Farva some ballistic ear protectors, slightly modified and somewhat ramshackle. “One of the corporals worked closely with Nurse Fila to get an idea for safe decibels levels for your kind, we were also able to get these earbuds molded to fit into your ear canal better”
Farva took them and slipped them in. “These are a bit uncomfortable, what do I need these for?”
“You'll need them for this” I say as I unsnap the clasps on the weapons case revealing its contents.
The content seems to capture Farva’s interest, getting a slight tail wave.
“Okay So this here is a p90, It carries a 50 round top loading magazine of teflon coated armor piercing ordnance. With a cyclical rate of fire of 900 rounds per minute.”
Farvas ears perk up at this. “This seems like an efficient design, I take it these are a flashlight and laser sight for accuracy?” She asked, pointing to the top of the weapon.
“Yes we also have holographic and acog optics which will help line up targets from farther away.” I look on as Farva picks up the weapon and inspects it, testing the weight as I note that it will weigh a fair bit more once loaded. But she doesn't seem to be struggling with the weight. I can't help but notice good firearm safety as well, she keeps her finger well off the trigger and takes care to keep her weapon pointed aways from anyone else.
“This seems like a solid design but I'm not sure how useful those weapon optics would be, as they are not designed for my side facing eyes”
“I'm sure our master at arms can figure something out, why don't we give it a test fire first tho, before we send it off to make adjustments.” I instruct her on how to load the weapon and turn the safety off. I warn her of the sound it makes. And while definitely taken aback by the recoil and sound at first, she quickly gets the hang of it, she has some respectable shot groupings in both single fire and in short bursts. And keeps the rounds reasonably centered while firing in full auto.
She did a whole lot better than I would have initially suspected given her performance in the hanger bay a day before.
“The rate of fire seems useful” Farva spoke “This would be useful for our soldiers, our accuracy falters when we are panicked, and the increased shot count should guarantee some hits based on volume of fire alone” she finished with a dejected expression.
She quickly places the weapon back in its case, as if it burned to touch.” I don't know if I should be armed for this mission, at least not with that weapon, I don't want to miss and hit one of you in the back!”
“What? Nonsense, you are a great shot, and this is just a precaution in case we get separated or flanked and need some covering fire. If our guys are doing their job right you shouldn't need to fire a single round anyways.”
Captain Farva’s breathing started to hasten, earlier I might have thought it was fear, but I was starting to get an idea of what the captain's issues were. I’ve seen this before.
“I.. I can’t be trusted with this responsibility, every time I am left in charge of something, every time people put their lives in my paws I ....”
“Farva, don’t you start with me now you hear.” I said sternly, swiftly capping off her inevitable spiral of self doubt.
“But.. no.. you don’t understand”
Stopping her again I spoke. “But nothing, what happened before on that ship, and back at that colony is in the past. I don’t know your whole situation, but from what I have gathered from the crew It was nothing good. You feel responsible and it's eating away at you, and frankly it doesn’t matter if that's true or not. Accidents happen, people make mistakes, and when that happens we need to learn, take those lessons to heart, and don't let it stop us from helping people in the present. If you let guilt, or fear of mistakes stop you, then bad guys have already won, all without having to have fired a shot”
Farva is quiet for a short time, I was hoping I got through to her, I'm not the best and pep talks and this certainly wasn’t your typical weapons demo, if only everyones could go as smoothly as Ronan’s.
Farva spoke quietly, arms pressed up against her chest, she looked so sad, defeated, and small. Well more than usual anyways. “We can't be strong like you humans, we are too emotional and when we are scared we run away or we lock up and...”
“And that is clearly not the case with you captain Farva” Teal’c finally reentered the conversation having heard enough. “You have shown courage with every action you have taken so far, your actions have saved the lives of many of your crew, every time you have been threatened you acted not just to protect yourself but others as well. You attempted to contend with beings many times your size without even thinking about it, all in the effort to protect others, and this is only in the time we have known you, this speaks nothing of your actions over the colony. You are a warrior of admirable courage Captain Farva, your self doubt is unearned.”
A single tear rolled down Farva’s eyes which she quickly wiped away. “That was very nice of you to say, but I'm not brave like you say, I was terrified out of my mind the whole time.”
Teal’c looked puzzled. “I did not call you brave, I said you were courageous.”
Farva shot back with the little venlil one up one down ear flick I had very quickly learned was confusion.” I'm confused you just said brave twice”
“Hmm it appears your language does not contain the word I am using, I apologize I am not used to speaking through a translator” Teal’c relented “ There are two words I am using admittedly in slightly different forms, bravery and courage. Bravery or to be brave is to lack fear, to not be afraid to begin with. Courage tho, Is a trait far more admirable. Courage is to be afraid, to have fear, to worry about one's own mortality and personal safety. It is to acknowledge risk, danger, to feel fear, but to act in spite of it.”
“Had I not met your kind before I would have thought predators don't feel fear.”
“Everyone fears feel Farva, It is how we overcome it that determines our worth as warriors”
Teal’c picks up the p90 and returns it to Farvas hands.
“Your people need a warrior Farva, a warrior who protects the innocent and guides the lost to safety. You have shown how collected you can be in the heat of battle, You have already proven your worth in our eyes Farva, now you must do the same in your own. The greatest enemy lies not without” Teal’c places his hand firmly on the venlil’s chest “But within”.
After Action Report - Venlil Colonial Defense Force
Subject : Chief Engineer Donu
I fiddled with my holopad, Its small surface area proving to be a consistent source of annoyance in my current endeavor. Gone was the large workspace afforded to me by my holotable back in my office. Instead I had to work with the scaled down portable holotablet I was just fortunate enough to have strapped to my person when I was beamed away from our last ship. I was stuck with its smaller keyboard and slower rendering speeds.
An annoyed smooth skin alien looked over my shoulder at my device, attached to it was a jury rigged fiber optic cable, slotted into a terran silicon to crystal patch cable, which would convert the electrical signals broadcasted by my tablet into a bandwidth that the terrans crystalline based computers; which they used for highly complex tasks like hyperdrive and transporter systems; could use, and then It was patched again in a even stranger connector to patch into the odd asgard computer stones.
All in all it looked like someone tried to plug a regular computer into some crystal construct like you would find in a fantasy holonovel, and again plugged that into a harchen heat rock sauna lounge. Finally branching out from this conglomeration was a simple copper based wire that connects to a computer terminal at which currently sat the late Doctor Rodney Mckay. A title upon initially hearing led me to believe he was a medical doctor, which led to a flurry of medical questions that he had absolutely no means of answering.
While this odd alien nomenclature was interesting, what intrigued me more was his actual area of expertise, theoretical astrophysics, as well as a number of other diverse specialties and fields. Not to mention not only was he a great scientist who had he been raised in the more civilized portion of this galaxy, would have knowledge and aptitude that would put him alongside some of Aafas greatest minds, but he was also an engineer without peer, at least in this galaxy. His interactions with general Samantha Carter hinted at her possibly being his match if not more. For a species that was supposed to glorify violence the decision to have a scientist be arguably the most senior member of what was by their admission a military vessel spoke to their commitment to knowledge and understanding, a very noble prey-like goal.
I looked warily at the lines of code at my screen, the asguard translation program had earlier scanned our ship and was able to parse written languages, but complex files, like images and 3d design schematics were harder to encode and decode from our perspective systems. As is stands we have 3 completely separate computer architectures, the asguard can talk to human computers and the venlil computers can talk to the asguard computers, It sounds like we would have everything we need to get a human C.A.D schematic into a venlil holotablet right? Wrong! And you're stupid for entertaining such a idiotic notion! Parsing text from raw binary is relatively straight forward, you're just looking for patterns, repeating bit combinations that might infer letters and then iterating them over millions of times looking for patterns, letters, words, and then with a bit of help from some undecoded analog audio transmission, spoken language. This is a far cry from actual procedural communication protocols,the ones that allow for file transfers, exactly what we needed if we were to get Rodney's redesigned part schematics into a format and medium that can be plugged into a suitable fabricator. Assuming one still exists, which I can reasonably assume it does.
Speaking of which, I have just made something of a breakthrough. For upon my screen appears a simple geometric hydrogen cube, we’re talking vertices, planes, material data, everything we need for a usable design file.
I let out an excited pent up yip, the culmination of hours of frustrating software integration work. Unfortunately I startled Rodney, who lets out a panicked gasp and clutches his chest pelts with one of his paws.
“Oh god…..” He gasps, pointing at me “Please.. don’t do that”
“Sorry!” I say a bit meekly. I slowly approach him so as to not make him unnecessarily uncomfortable and show him my work.
“I got the file exchange set up, all we need from you is to finish any modifications to your part, upload them to my holopad, and then we can print away at any class 3 or above fabricator we can scrounge up on Brayga colony.”
“Ok.. um.. got it, I'm almost done i’m just you know” He points a lone grasping appendage at his screen,”Running some simulations, making sure everything is up to spec.” keeping his response kurt. “Sorry for freaking out there.”
I nod my head in the human display of affirmation and return to my workstation to further bug check my work, to test potentially problematic edge cases for when he finishes. Tho Rodney's continued odd behavior intruded on my thoughts.
I should have felt empowered, being able to intimidate this ‘massive beast’, but I didn't. I didn't like being feared, his people have been nice to me, Rodney himself courteous to a fault and desperate for positive attention.
I thought I could expect predators to be fearless but that clearly wasn't the case, rodney was fearful, nervous, had I not known better I would say defective, and while it annoyed his crew, they didn't berate him for it, or attempt to assert dominance, they encouraged it even with placating words and tried to help him through it, they encouraged and supported him like a proper herd, even if sometimes it took the form of what the human would call a playful ribbing. I supposed I could help him as well.
I approached him again, careful to make my approach known to him, making sure to approach from within his limited field of vision. He looks up at me with a wide eyed glare, had I not known him I might have assumed it was hunger, but I did and knew it to be concern.
“Uh high Donu.. um whats up?”
“Why are you afraid of us rodney?”
“Wa-What, me afraid?” he gives out a panicked laugh ”uh no no, I'm not afraid, you know just a bit weirded out I'm just getting used to you all, it's not a fear thing it's a a…. Just getting used to new aliens thing, ask Hermirod we went through this whole song and dance right buddy”
Hermirod furrowed his brow and gave an irritated sigh from across the room.
I reached out to take Rodney by the paw.
His whole body flinched at my mere touch, I quickly withdrew my paw.
“Oh.. um.. I didn't…”
“Rodney! It's okay, your crew doesn’t seem to care when you show fear, and neither do I. Why are you afraid of us? You are almost twice our size and surely double our strength, most venlil would scream and run in terror at the mere sight of you. What's wrong?”
Rodney let out a sigh. “Oh its, we don't have to talk about this, I can deal with this, I deal with scary situations all the time, it's fine, I'll be fine.”
“Rodney, my people are a very emotional, empathic people, we are open with our feelings and with our fear, and the fear of the one can affect the herd, please let me help you. I don’t know what to expect from your society but I promise I wont judge you for your fear or emotions, I mean look at many of my crew mates, we are no one to judge”
Rodney shot back “You didn't seem to be so bothered”
“I’m too old to care, I was about to retire, hell I was about to die as far as I knew, Brayga colony was supposed to be a quiet place to lay back, work on some hobbies, plant a garden and pester the young men of my colony until I either dropped dead of boredom or got lucky” I joked.
That seemed to raise Rodney's mood somewhat. He sighed and seemingly relented.
“It’s… a dumb story, I don't even know why it affected me so much, I come from a place on earth called Canada, people don't usually believe me when I say I am from there, us Canadians are notoriously friendly and I guess I haven’t exactly filled that mold for a lot of my life, but hey I'm working on it, people like me, I have lots of friends back at Atlantis” He says the last sentence in a way as if it isn't me he's trying to convince.
“I'm sure you do, Rodney, You seem like quite the charming individual when you're not cowering!”
“Ha ha thanks, maybe you could come and visit sometime. Tell that to doctor Becket, really nice guy, smart man, he would love to meet you, he loves investigating new species. But back on topic, oh boy, so me and my sister Jeannie were on a family trip to rural Vancouver to visit my grandpa's farm, he kept a lot of goats, not for eating or anything, they were essentially pets that he would use for milk”
“Wait hold on? You drink milk from other animals! Do your females not produce enough milk for their young?”
“Oh um no, we just sort of drink it or ferment it into cheese!”
“Ferment? You mean spoil?
“Yeh”
I reeled from this plasma blast of a statement, I like any right minded venlil had a number of nightmares about being an arxur’s cattle before, especially when I first learned about those things in primary school, but never once had it crossed my mind that we could be used for something so weird. What the speh was I supposed to do with that information?
“Maybe you should get back on topic”
“Yeh sorry about that uh.. Anyways the momma goat had just had a litter of babies, and their real cute when their little, so late in the day when my grandpa was asleep we snuck out to the pens so we can play with the little baby goats, our grandpa told us not to but you now how kids are.”
At this I think back to a young Nyan, as I teach him the inner working of the hyperdrive, I tell him he’s not cleared yet to operate in this engine compartment alone, but I could tell from the occasional caught black hairs and dropped writing implements, there had been a number of curious unauthorized expeditions into its inner workings, he didn't really listen either.
“My sister as always was trying to be the voice of reason, wanting to take it slow. If I was paying attention I might have noticed the angry moma goat who didn’t appreciate the strange human messing with her children.”
The color seemed to drain from his face.
“I uh…” He began to stutter again ”I screamed, a lot, it was rather undignified, she ran right at me, thank god it wasn't a male goat, one with horns, I tired to run but I was hit in the back and knocked over and kicked real good in the head, like wake up in the vet clinic a quarter mile down the road kind of bad”
“This goat was a prey animal?”
“That would be what your kind focuses on”
“Oh sorry”
“Anyways It seems dumb but I have just never been good with animals since then, especially ones that look like you; no offense; I'm getting better but when I first saw you guys in the hangar bay, I was just that dumb kid again, getting in way over my head, scared for my life. I guess there is something to be said about childhood trauma. I really should be over this, I'm getting better with it I swear it’s just”
I take his paw again, he doesn't flinch this time.
“I'm a venlil, a prey animal, I know fear, I know what it is to live in fear, It rattles your brain, it turns your paws to wet grains. It takes great strength to overcome it, to push it aside just long enough to protect the herd. Your herd relies on you Rodney and you are doing a great job in spite of your fear, in spite of having to work with those you fear. You have achieved intellectual feats that rival the greatest minds of the federation and all that while struggling with a traumatic experience. Fear isn’t dumb and there is nothing wrong with you for feeling it.”
“Thank you” Rodney says “That means a lot, I won't be like forever I promise, I just need some time.”
“We will laugh about this someday,” I assured. “Nothing as big and intelligent as you should be afraid of anything”
“Are you calling me fat?” Rodney exclaimed with fake offense.
We both chuckled.
My kind words had resulted in a more upright posture, and a more cheerful demeanor from the human, almost like when I congratulated Nyan on his work, and it got me a look at that happy snarl of his, that I was starting to grow quite fond of.
After Action Report - Venlil Colonial Defense Force
Subject : Apprentice Engineer Nyan
Oh wow! I get to write a report for this mission! I never get to write reports, Donu says they're too boring, but there’s so many interesting things going on all the time. Sometimes I sneakily write my own! Just for fun of course, nobody sees them, which is probably for the best as I sometimes get excited and embellish them slightly. One of the reports I wrote was about the time Donu used nothing but a wad of electrical tape, a bottle of high grain venlil alcohol and a pocket knife to repair a venlil medical ship just in time to get out of the way of a big scary space predator, with glowing red eyes and a million tentacles!
Anyways Im not sure If im suppose to write these In present tense first person or past tense. I asked the captain and she said it's whatever so long as I make sure any pertinent dialogues are properly quoted(“”).
“Nobody usually reads these things anyways.” She said, but this one is surely going to be so exciting, who could look away!
I mean who's gonna scoff at a chance to read about friendly predators from another dimension! A dimension of friendly predators who give warm head scratches and hand out yummy strayu not strayu treats called donuts, that are somehow fluffier than strayu, and have a nice moisture to them. I asked for the recipe but Samantha said we wouldn't have the ingredients back on Venili prime to make them, and Teal'c said the recipe is an old family secret. Its weird predators would be so protective of their plant snacks.
There are so many weird things about these predators, they have nurturing instincts that make them find us cute. They stay perfectly balanced even if they don’t have tails, swinging their arms and body all over the place to keep upright like a lopsided gyroscope, it's pretty funny looking!
They also wear artificial pelts all the time, which I thought was weird, I thought maybe the ships temperature was set by the angry gray alien since he’s the only crew member beside the venlil who walks around naked all the time, maybe he had a fit when it was to warm, and the humans obliged him cause they were worried they would make him even angrier, and wore clothes to make up for the cold. I thought this made sense, a lot of their technology does seem to come from the Asguard, maybe he has more say in the goings on of the ship because of that. But apparently humans just like wearing pelts all the time. They feel uncomfortable without them and don’t like it if you try to remove them or look up their upper artificial pelts they call shirts.
The humans are so weird, I don’t even have to embellish my reports to make it more interesting. Like that time with the big tentacled space predator. That may sound real compared to this stuff but it Isn't, Ha! I bet you fell for it at first, hook line and sinker! Like the humans would say. I think I used that saying right, I'm not sure what it means, but Shepard brought it up when he was telling a story about the wraith.
The humans are so nice, instead of exterminating their predators they try to cure them! Their doctors are working to modify the wraith so they don't have to eat humans anymore, so they can be friendly predators too.
Anyways I should probably get to the actual report part of this report. Farva says I should start after I went off with Samantha to work on some special astrophysics equations she said I would be good at. I kind of wanted to go with Donu to help Rodney get the new parts they needed, or Farva to help rescue our people, but the humans and even the angry gray alien got really weird when Farva mentioned taking me on the mission. Samantha seemed to want me to help her really badly so I didn’t mind. Samantha says I have the most important part to our mission. She's teaching me about how humans communicate through subspace, and about stellar drift equations. We are working on what she calls the exit strategy.

TL;DR Please keep a work journal. Use it to record your small “wins” at work. Use it to build your resume for when you need a raise, a promotion, or a new job.

What do Firefighters Do All Day?

When I was a kid, I loved Richard Scarry picture books. He drew human-like animals who lived in “Busytown” and who worked in typical places: bank, firehouse, bakery, and so on. Richard Scarry explained to young readers what firefighters did all day: they rescued cats from tall trees. When the baker burned a batch of pies, the firefighters came and put out the burning pies. The firefighters had a big truck full of hoses, and they spent a lot of time fussing over the truck, too.
https://preview.redd.it/fpn6eflbl81d1.jpg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f51b4cafb6766ad0b1a2baea4ec7357f9d58a85e
Children are not born knowing what a banker does, what a baker does, what a firefighter does. It’s both useful and lovely to explain basic job functions to children so they can understand how their town functions.
A lot of people, including job seekers on this subreddit, seem to think resumes are Richard Scarry books. People spend their resumes explaining what a baker does all day:

• rolled out dough for pies and bagels each morning
• sold doughnuts and muffins to customers; returned correct change
• turned off ovens and swept kitchen clean every night

WHAT? That’s only a resume if you were terrible at your job. I’m serious; if I saw those three bullet points on a baker’s resume, I would assume the baker in question had just been fired.

The Point of Resume Bullet Points

Imagine you’ve been a professional baker for two years. You’ve applied for a new job. You’ve made it through the dumb website questionnaires, the redundant forms. You made it past the algorithm or the robot that rejects half the applicants right away. You’ve got your resume in front of me, the person who can decide to interview you, the person who can decide to hire you.
And you’re using this time to tell me what a baker does?
Your resume is not a place to educate children about your core job functions. Your resume is a place to persuade a manager that you are good at your job! If I’m hiring a baker, chances are good-to-excellent that I already know what a baker does all day. I want to know if you are a good baker!

• reduced morning biscuit prep time by switching to corn oil; saved 18 minutes per day
• caramel doughnut recipe won 2nd place in Busytown’s Bake-Off 2021
• increased earnings 8% by moving tip jar to front of counter

Those are accomplishments. They show that you were good at your job. They show that you make improvements. They show that you measure things: How long was it taking you to make biscuits before? What did you change? How long did it take you to make biscuits after that change? Was the change your idea, or something your boss told you to try?
Now, maybe the tip jar example bothers you. Maybe that’s not about being a good baker, it’s more about being a greedy, self-interested employee. Guess what? As a hiring manager, I don’t care! I’m so impressed that you made a change and measured the impact of that change that I give you full points for that tip jar bullet point. Even if my bakery doesn’t use tip jars. Even if I’m hiring for a pastry chef position at a hotel, a role that doesn’t get tipped income. It’s the drive to measure, the habit of making small improvements at work, that’s what impresses me.

Lost Progress: My Doughnut Years

I worked at a doughnut shop right after college, years ago. It was not a happy time for me; I had a fancy degree, so I had expected to be doing more interesting things with my life than frosting doughnuts and pouring coffee for customers. But I’m a driven person. I improve things everywhere I go. I remember I impressed my boss one day when I came in with colorful printed signs I had made on my home ink-jet printer: “Chocolate Sprinkles,” “Raspberry Jelly,” “Lemon Creme.” We had been using hand-printed signs, Sharpie on cardboard, and these were a big improvement.
Our regular customers noticed the signs. I probably bragged about them or fished for compliments. That’s something 22-year-old me would have done. For sure the shop owner liked them. I remember the glossy paper I used made them easier to wipe clean, so we didn’t have to re-write the labels every few days.
I didn’t write any of this down in a journal. It all happened years ago; I barely remember it. But I should have been keeping a journal. If I had, then my resume would have featured bullet points such as:

• simplified regular ordering process by creating new signs …or
• standardized inventory display with colorful, uniform signage …or
• took initiative to re-do store signage; received 23 compliments from regular customers …or
• “Did you make those signs? They look amazing!” -Actual customer, responding to the labels I created on my home printer for the doughnut display area

Maybe some of those bullet points hit harder than others; I was young and it was a dumb job. But see how those bullet points say much more about what kind of baker I am than
“• rolled out dough for pies and bagels each morning” ?

How, When, and What to Journal at Work

If you have an amazing memory for tiny details, then maybe you don’t need to keep a journal. But most people should. Every month, or at least every quarter, sit down for twenty minutes and write down something that demonstrates you are good, skilled, dedicated, resourceful, whatever:

1. “Neela Roberts, a regular client, said last month ‘Dave, whenever you process my invoice, I know it’s going to be correct, I don’t even have to check!’ That made me feel good.”
2. “I caught a pricing typo on the quote sheet Business Development was preparing to send over to Acme Industrials. Maybe someone else would have caught it, but wow those Acme people are pushy about little details like that; I probably saved us $500, who knows?”
3. “I’m glad I persuaded Marla to upgrade the A/V system in the conference room. We always used to have clients ask us ‘what? say that again?’ in our conference calls. Since we installed the new mics and speakers, I can’t remember that happening.”
4. “Chris over in Receiving bought me a beer after work today, said he wanted to thank me for recommending Dale for the new loader position. Glad to hear Dale is working out so well over there.”

It's easy, in the glow of a big win at work, to think "I'll always remember this accomplishment. I'll always remember how I helped the team, the way this project came together, the nice things the boss said about our hard work. This is a memory I'll treasure."
And then Monday rolls around, and you're back to rolling out dough for the morning bagels. Unless you are a professional athlete, most days at work are not wins. Most days at work are not noteworthy. And the ho-hum of the every day can overwhelm your big and small accomplishments unless you make time to write them down regularly.

Why to Journal at Work

Even if you love your job, even if you are 10 years into a 20-year role with a guaranteed pension, a place you never intend to leave, you should still be doing this.
First, I don’t believe any job is guaranteed in this life.
Second, a list of improvements and accomplishments will help you get promotions and raises at your current job. Think of how much you’ll have to say at your annual review when you’ve been taking monthly notes on your significant contributions! It will help you defend yourself if you ever face cutbacks at work due to downturns and budget problems.
Third, journaling and measuring will make you a better worker! My whole mentality at work changed when i started measuring stuff. “Hey, I think we should reorganize the mailing room, because I think the workflow in there is just nuts. But you know what? Let’s note down how many packages we ship out each morning for the next three mornings, just to get a baseline. Then, when we make the changes I have in mind, we can see if things actually improve. Three more days with the old system won’t kill us, and it will let me measure my impact.”
Your work journal needs to be in a paper book or in a computer file you will retain access to even if you change jobs. We’ve all heard horror stories about layoffs at Zenith Techno where workers got an automated email at 5AM and lost all access to company files. Your work journal needs to be your property. Your career is more important than any one job!
If you work for the CIA or for a urologist, you might need to take some basic care to respect the privacy of clients and your employer. Maybe use fake names of patients. Don't put the secret recipe to your boss's famous caramel doughnuts on a server where doughnut hackers can get to it. But keep a journal! Do it!
Otherwise, this is all you’ve got to say for yourself at the end of the day:
“• turned off ovens and swept kitchen clean every night”

I have a small window cleaning business. I have an excellent reputation and live in an area that has more demand than supply. (Arguably—at the least, it’s a favorable business environment.) I have a growing online footprint with YELP and Google. So far, my reviews are all 5-star. I am known for top notch work at a reasonable price. I don’t cut corners. I focus on getting the job done right and treating people’s homes as my own.
I expect this to change as a hire and grow, because although I have many years experience, I don’t expect employees to care like I do. Still, I believe I can provide very good service at a reasonable price, and the small hike in prices will be offset by my ability to complete the work much faster than before which is more convenient for my customers who generally to choose to remain home while we are there. So far, no one has balked at a 10% hike.
Now, I’m trying to scale up. I have 2 pick up trucks. Neither are pretty, but they’re Toyotas. I would only need a couple more ladders to fully outfit 2 vehicles for service.
I have found a reasonable worker’s compensation quote. I haven’t yet received the numbers for the increased liability insurance, or commercial auto policy. I understand that I will be matching Social Security and FICA. I’m not worried so much about these expenses. Perhaps I should be. With labor, he margins for window cleaning aren’t terrific, but not horrible. Depending on the bid and the nature of the property the margin can be tight. Sometimes we have to drive 30 minutes as I operate in a semi-rural area. Like anywhere, I have some customers that grind me down.
I live in Idaho where these expenses tend to be less than the more populous states. However, because of the nature of window cleaning, insurance is costly. I’m trying to decide if this is worth it, because although I do care about my employees (they are great guys), there is significant headache managing this younger generation. It never ceases to amaze how quickly they become prima donnas, or how heavily they are focused on feelings…..I digress…
Right now I am paying 2 guys as 1099, which isn’t a safe long term solution. I need to make a decision quickly. I keep them off ladders and roofs for now. But, that can’t last if I am to scale it up. My plan is to make them w-2 employees paying them a percentage of the jobs, then send them to complete jobs in their own, with me as: estimator, customer PR, roaming QC, touch ups, and sometimes working.
I intend to add additional services (I already do gutter clean outs which are far more profitable, but pretty unpleasant work, and have a short window of time)
To conclude: at this point, I’m unsure of whether the increased capacity is worth the headache. I’m currently clearing approximately what I would make alone. However, as my guys gain experience, I expect this to get better as they get faster and more precise. Window cleaning is A LOT harder than it looks. It takes an average 1-2 months until I can leave a guy a a job site unattended for even a few hours. I have other options, so there are times when this seems really tough
The other possibilities:
*Pressure washing (demands additional insurance policy, but is a naturally matching service that I believe would be successful quickly, but requires more space in the truck than is available, so it would mean 1 truck off the grid for windows
*House cleaning: better margins, but more competitive and even more employee headache (prob worth it all in all)
*Dryer vent cleaning: I have less knowledge about this, but the entry cost is very low. And the margins are apparently quite good.
Questions:
Does it make sense to form an LLC, and use that name on my EIN application? Is the additional expense up front worth it?
Should I just endure the headache so that window cleaning can fund the other services with better margins?
Should I sell one of the trucks to buy a van or similar vehicle that is dedicated purely to the business? I could get at least $10K for either.
General thoughts?

So, I'm seeing some mixed reactions to the last season, and honestly I'm feeling them myself as well, so I decided to sit down and sort of breakdown and analyse some of what happened over the course of Oxventure, what seemed to go well and what didn't, and maybe try to get into some litcrit of the whole thing.
Warning: I'm not always nice in this write up, though I have done my best to be fair and honest throughout in what I think the potential pitfalls were and how I hope they might be better addressed in future campaigns.
I've played D&D myself for a few years, listened to other Actual Play series (notably NADDPOD and some D20 at one end of the competency-of-players scale, and Dragon Friends and Dungeons and Drongos at the other), and write... a lot. Including over 250k of fanfic specifically for Oxventure, which started off as an excuse for smut but ended up being a lot of worldbuilding.

System & Setting

Johnny has made no secret that they're not a huge fan of D&D, indicating that they feel it overshadows other systems, and given that the Spicy Rat Caper was meant to be a one-off but fans loved it perhaps they felt a little trapped in the system. This did lead to some funny moments (Faire Trial and Max commenting that they sometimes felt "like a big dice rolling around a tray" sticks with me) but sometimes felt a bit mean-spirited ("Crawl Me Maybe" and the heavy 'lol dungeon crawling is so ridiculous' comes to mind).
It was also clear that at times, none of the group seemed to know the game and the rules super well. From Mike not knowing his movement speed ("30 what? Miles an hour?") to Merilwen not using her animal forms or changing out her spells until level 8, to the underpowering of most of the classes, it became more of an issue as time when on in some ways.
It's easy enough to understand why, live on stage and starry-eyed at Harry McEntire as Aubrey, Johnny missed that in the combat Aubrey cast two levelled spells in the same round (against the rules) as well as using two sorcery spell modifiers in the same round (also against the rules, and they mentioned this on the podcast). Sorcerer was also a new class to everyone, and dealing with a new class is always going to be difficult, especially dropping them in at a higher level rather than starting from level 1 and building up.
However, bluntly, most of the guild weren't using their class/subclass abilities to the fullest. Rules lawyer Andy did the best, so he gets a pass here, and Ellen got sharper with Merilwen over time to stuff like knowing her spell components, tracking her spell slots, and preparing her spells. However, the concept of Egbert as "a paladin who doesn't do paladin things" (quote from the post-Deadlands discussion) was ultimately really limiting not just for Egbert (Mike commented in one podcast episode that he felt he'd trapped himself in only using Egbert's abilities in ways that were funny) but for the entire concept of paladins - Max might as well have been a fighter in the fight in Gnome Alone that they took part in, and we never saw Shattershield fight at all. There were references to combat offscreen in Out of Order, but... that was it. (Additionally, while paladins can be poisoned, as poison and disease are different in 5e rules, paladins can pump out a LOT of healing, and a citadel full of them should have a lot of magical reserves to draw on as a result.)
And Egbert isn't the only one who was limited. One of the biggest features of Great Old One warlocks (which Prudence is, with Cthulhu), is that from level one they have telepathy within 30ft ("Awakened Mind"). Prudence went the entire campaign without using this. Although Johnny allowed the Message cantrip to be treated like this, allowing people to reply to it when RAW it is one-way only, this meant that Dob also essentially gained Prudence's power because he also had Message. Merilwen was limited in her animal forms and the spells that she knew up until level 8, and it was noticeable how everyone was shocked at her power once she had full RAW druid range. Corazón, on the other hand, not only had Andy keeping on top of all of his class and subclass features, but got two subclasses, leaving him about on par or slightly overpowered for the level he should have been looking overpowered because the others didn't use their abilities so well. Meanwhile, Dob was given access to full bardic abilities, but only used bardic inspiration in some of their level 1 adventures and then not much again until the final season.
The counterpart to this under-utilisation of class potential was the amount of 'rule of cool' or 'rule of funny' which sometimes worked well (Merilwen befriending the owlbear in Quiet Riot, or the reflavouring of Thunder Wave to do lightning damage instead based on their initial misunderstanding) and sometimes ended up breaking the game (the "everyone can cast Moonbeam" joke that escalated to the scrolls of Moonbeam that made the finale kind of laughable). Sometimes this seemed to be the time and audience pressure of live shows (allowing Prudence to use the hammer to wheel her way through the skeletons in Stop Hammer Time), but other times it was just letting them do things that went outside the rules (Egbert body-slamming six(?) Otherberts at once in Bad Altitude, or Dob casting all his spells at once in Corpse and Robbers) seemingly preferring the immediate humour or "yes and" over the potential internal logic or end implications.
The contrast between this permissiveness, sometimes to the point of breaking logical immersion, honestly seemed sharper to me when it was laid against Andy's GMing in Deadlands. Whether it was reminding people that there were snipers on the rooftops in Dead Man's Worth or refusing to yes-and a chandelier in More Wonders Than, he made it more difficult for the players and in doing so made them work harder within their skillsets and the setting, making the victories feel harder-won as a result. I'm aware that some people didn't like Andy's GMing specifically because he was less permissive, but I believe that his intention - and the outcome - was a stronger narrative that made the characters feel active and not just lucky. (Liliana lampshaded this in Frenemy at the Gates when she asked whether things often just fell into their laps, like with knowing Binbag, and it almost felt like a spiteful comment so it surprised me to hear it from Johnny.)
What I hope: It has been indicated that Johnny has created the new setting for the next game, so hopefully they have put things more to their liking at the beginning and will not end up seeming to dunk on the premise of their own series. I'm also hoping for everyone to either use more standardised rules, or at least establish in-game standards at the beginning so that all of the characters, and players, feel like they're on a level playing field from the off. Johnny seemed to much more enjoy the systems of Blades in the Dark and Deadlands (which were designed to be less superhero-level) and even the lower levels of Oxventure (especially Tier 1) where the characters were just people who were skilled but not particularly out of the range of normality; I'd be interested to see whether they lean more in that direction and keep the characters lower-powered as a result.

Characters & Character Arcs

Again, it's worth noting that the characters were initially conceived as being for a one-off game, so the initial concepts did not necessarily need planned arcs. However, the rockiness of some of the arcs overall may have contributed to issues with the series, especially as it stretched out over so many years. I'll go through the PCs alphabetically, then Liliana, then mention any other NPCs. There are two elements here - in-character goals, and character arc goals, which both play into things.
Corazón - in my opinion, Corazón had one of the stronger character arcs, which may reflect Andy's interest in writing (and now being published!), going from the coward pirate-wannabe who abandoned his crew to the curse, to the person who threw himself in front of a spell meant for Merilwen. This was highlighted in his reply to Them in Prism Break, even before the Power Word Kill spell. In fact, the Power Word Kill brought a level of pathos to the fact that he had told Them that he was not even done growing as a person. Andy commented on the podcast at some point that he had expected at the beginning to be one of the more morally shady characters (as a pirate), but found himself playing a line of being immoral regarding money but caring deeply about physical hurt or harm to people. Corazón also had two layers of in-character goals - to break the curse (limited) and to become a betterichereal pirate (more open-ended) and find his own identity which allowed him to carry character development over the years even when the curse was ignored for extended periods. Goals: clear and stepped, with the curse as a plot-hook; arc: good and perfectly timed for the finale.
What I hope for: More of the same, really.
Dob - Dob came in early with a clearly defined goal (to find his sister) - but this was done in Brawl of the Wild and Dob has been sort of... undefined ever since. It absolutely makes sense that he would have floundered for a while, but Dob has gone several years without settling on new goal, and Luke also didn't seem to settle on a character arc (the romance subplot in Orbpocalypse Saga through Bride or Die seemed to be almost a character arc, but never got full payoff?) which left Dob feeling... well, at times it almost seemed like Luke wanted to get rid of him to play someone else instead. This was unfortunately also highlighted in conversation with Them, as the response that Dob gave was about him being a "mote of chaos". I obviously couldn't speak for others, but I found this underwhelming and unconvincing as an answer, as it didn't give me any sense of why a powerful celestial being would consider this an argument - if Dob had developed the argument to be that chaos is generative and creative in a way that pure order cannot be, and/or that the free will and agency of sapience demand that they be allowed to act and to try even if they make mistakes or fail, I think there might have been something there, but he didn't really seem to. Goals: had one which formed a good plot-hook, then went without; arc: unclear.
What I hope for: Luke to determine more of a character arc, or series of shorter arcs, perhaps drawing from his Blades in the Dark DMing experience, and to either pick a more open-ended goal or to move along a series of goals over time.
Egbert - Egbert came in with the vaguer goal of "atonement", which gave him more wiggle room, but unfortunately didn't seem to actively pursue it a lot of the time. In Legacy of Dragons it was revealed that he was searching for atonement for the deaths of two Dragon D'Or members - but by this time, so many people around the Oxventurers had died, including innocent bystanders, that the deaths of two other paladins felt like nothing. (Mike commented, again on the podcast, that he agreed with the commenters at the time who agreed that they knew it was his backstory from the beginning because only two paladins had died. The two figure paled next to the collateral damage that the party later caused.) Mike also commented on the podcast that during lockdown, he had made a conscious change with Egbert in to try to avoid combat as much as possible, and to avoid fatal attacks if in combat, but it wasn't clear how long that lasted. It may have been trying to avoid being the annoying/preachy paladin that stopped him from trying to influence the rest of the party or to save lives around them, but unfortunately it meant that it was difficult to see a real sense of wanting to atone in Egbert's arc. Letting innocents die around him isn't exactly less culpable than killing them himself. (Notable incidents included Mule Be Sorry, Wrangle in the Tangle, Hag Reflex, and Squid Pro Quo.) In terms of character arcs, there was definitely an element of going from seeking approval from Dragon D'Or to seeking that of his friends, but that was just a switching of approval-seeking rather than a significant change. Goals: had one, but didn't seem to actively pursue it; arc: moved from pursuing the morals of Dragon D'Or to pursuing the morals of the Oxventurers.
What I hope for: Mike to come back with a character who seeks to pursue their own goals more directly (see Barnaby and Silas, who both felt much stronger in this sense).
Merilwen - Merilwen was supposed to be about balance and protecting nature, but didn't always heavily engage with this point of view, even when the actions of the other Oxventurers should have absolutely led to discussions or disagreements between them. Many people commented on Andy being dickish about shooting seabirds in Legacy of Dragons, but there are other incidents, including the Wrangle in the Tangle (again), Eldritch or Die Trying (where it would have been interesting to see Merilwen's preference for nature clash with the need for the crystal) and the Extinction season which seemed to veer between being set up to be about Merilwen, then swapping to Dob-centric, then cleaning up Corazon's curse. In terms of character arc, I think there might be an element that can be teased out about her not fitting in with elf society and fitting in better with the faster-paced, more chaotic world of shorter-lived peoples, but this feels like speculation on my part more than something intended. Naturally, a character of around 100 is not going to feel as suited to a coming-of-age story as younger ones, but characters of all ages should be able to have character arcs. (Even if they might be slower in longer-lived people like elves - an example I can go to here is Galadriel, from Tolkien, who in her youth was proud and refused a pardon that would have allowed her to return to Valinor, but at the end of LOTR is humble enough to accept and go there. It took millennia for her, but it was a character arc all the same!) In Merilwen's conversation with Them, her uncertainty seemed to talk to this - a lack of clarity about where her characterisation was supposed to have gone over the last few years. I think there was a real opportunity here to explore Merilwen's relationship with morality and the difference between neutrality and passiveness, which unfortunately was missed. Goals: was supposed to be about nature but didn't push for it; arc: [speculation] seeking a non-elven community that she matched better with.
What I hope for: Ellen to have a character with more defined goals or arc, or gaps still to be filled in, rather than a static momentary sketch of personality/character that doesn't feel designed to be changed over time. Again, Lilith with her secrets/looking into the paranormal, and Edie with her goal to help people in a world in which monsters aren't going away, felt stronger as characters with goals and arcs, and I'd be happy to see more of that.
Prudence - Ambitious from the off, Prudence never actually struggled for goals - power, knowledge, magic, influence. The open-endedness of these goals once again served Prudence pretty well for carrying her through individual adventures/games and over the course of the whole canon, even if she didn't come in with clearly-defined (plot hook) goals like Corazón's curse. For the first few years, it felt that her character arc wasn't hugely significant, although there was certainly an element of found family over selfishness that played into it, but Jane also discussed (again, in the podcast) how the werebear element was really quite exciting for her as it allowed her to begin to explore the clash between werebear Lawful Good status and Prudence's usual Chaotic Evil desires. Eldritch or Die Trying explored this in a somewhat exaggerated way, with Cthulhu offering power in exchange for the destruction of the others (I suspect in Prudence's question about specifying people, she was trying to figure out whether she could kill just Liliana) which was a somewhat blatant nod to the character arc but did underline it. (Unlike the others, this also established Prudence's character arc before Them.) Goals: open-ended in a way that leaves them technically incomplete even now but which were stably useful throughout canon; arc: de-isolation and alignment shifting (in a way that should have been ripe for playing off against Liliana's) which played out well.
What I hope for: A character with perhaps some more specific or plot-hook goals as well as broader life goals. Prudence's character arc played out more subtly than Corazón's and sometimes perhaps got lost behind the louder personalities of some of the others, but I do think was well done. A less obvious way to explore or demonstrate it would have been nice.
Liliana - So. Here we go. Liliana was essentially a DMPC for the last season, but was a recurring character before that, with a stated goal of subjecting part or all of G'eth and broader goals (indicated or stated in Prism Break and the finale season generally) of academic/scholarly improvement, arcane knowledge, and the notion of making people appreciate what they have by threatening to take it from them. As a villain, she was threatening, and the layering of goals once again worked here, even with the abrupt movement to 'save G'eth' in the last season because, well, you can't rule what no longer exists. However, I am honestly confused as to what her character arc was supposed to be - whether her stated change of heart in front of Them was real, or whether that was a lie that Them somehow did not call out or challenge. Considering in Frenemy at the Gates, Liliana says that Prudence is the most like her, there was a potential here to play against Prudence's character arc of coming to trust others, even appreciate others, and facing the consequences of suffering making her realise her own flawed logic. I really do not know whether her betrayal of the guild was planned from the beginning (in which case, her talking to Them feels like it was overplayed, and Them should have challenged her on it) or whether Johnny added it because the fight against the giant was over more quickly than anticipated (compare to Dine Hard where the chef was the one person they did not stat up because they didn't expect the guild to fight him). Goals: logical, stepped, and worked for a villain; arc: ????? was there an arc? Was it fake? Was it desperation? Why did she, on 1 hitpoint, try to Power Word Kill Prudence instead of Teleporting away?
What I hope for: I don't know, with this one, really. Liliana's weird arc feels more related to the odd pacing of the last season than an underlying characterisation issue, for me, so I think it's more related to pacing/wanting Oxventure campaign 1 to close out.

Player Etiquette

...okay, this one is going to be a little bit harsh, perhaps. But the main campaign, more than either Blades in the Dark or Deadlands, really suffered from certain players having a bout of Main Character Syndrome.
I say specifically players here, because it was entirely in-character for certain characters (largely Corazón) to think of themselves as the main character and behave as such. However, even if the characters think that, is generally considered good etiquette for the players to treat each other as equals, let each other take turns in the spotlight, and have their Moments.
Good examples would be the group letting Merilwen be the main character in Peak Performance, Prudence explore her sundered relationship with Cthulhu during the Orbpocalypse Saga, or Dob showing off his acting bard chops in Dine Harder.
However, at various times, various people have overstepped. Sometimes in live shows where the audience response and excitement probably played a role (Rolling in the Deep) it's more understandable, but it also happened elsewhere. Mike got some flack for picking up the eyepatch at the end of Cursed Case Scenario and 'ruining' Corazón's moment, but even Johnny called Andy out for muscling in on Dob's subplot in Court in the Act, and Life Finds a Dob was almost uncomfortable at times. There was also something of a trend of Dob deliberately acting against the party for unclear reasons (possibly meant to be humour?) - either running away from them in Life Finds a Dob, refusing to 'share' Corazon's body in Portal Combat, or his contrary behaviour in Hunter Pressure in not wanting to fight the hunters/murderers they were facing.
I'm not sure whether this trend of contrariness fed into the unclear character arc that I mentioned above, or the other way around, or whether the two just fed into each other.
The most extreme example of this was, undoubtedly, Dob jumping in on the shoot-off between Liliana and Prudence right at the end of Portal Combat. Liliana approached Prudence in Frenemy at the Gates because they were the most alike. Prudence was the one with the first kill of the whole campaign, using Eldritch Blast, against the party's wishes and Corazón's protests specifically - how appropriate would it have been for her to get the last kill of the campaign, with Eldritch Blast, in defense of herself and her party and as retribution for Corazón? But instead, Luke inserted Dob into the standoff and Johnny played into it, even to the absurd extent of letting the skeletons use Time Stop (a 9th Level spell) just to explain why Dob's whole conversation with them could take place faster than Prudence could fire off an eldritch blast. Corazón's self-sacrifice and Merilwen's reveal of her Reincarnation spell was therefore also partially overshadowed by Dob sacrificing his magic for one more hitpoint of damage on Liliana rather than letting Prudence have her moment.
What I hope for: some of the lessons learned from other campaigns to lead the players to be better at taking turns, both in terms of people not trying to be the Main Character at inappropriate moments, players stepping up and into the leading role when it is appropriate for them to do so, and Johnny more actively monitoring the balance between the players and shutting down some of the more egregious behaviour

Morality

This... isn't actually going to be complaining about characters behaving immorally or even being evil. Prudence is honestly a great example of how to play an evil character in a way that doesn't break a party, while Corazón works as being immoral about money but moral about hurting people (at least most of the time). I've also thoroughly enjoyed some other games in which the characters have been far from moral (NADDPOD's Trinyvale series is a good example of this - the characters are scam artists, grifters and egotists, and the DM commented that "character growth doesn't have to be positive!"; they complain the entire time while saving the world).
But it's consistency that is more of a sticking point, as well as the player treatment of the moral positions of the party. It's hard to know how to treat the morals of the party when they vary from letting a town burn for being slightly annoying (Mule Be Sorry) to most of the team being ready to forgive a hag who used to eat human(oid) children (Hag Reflex). This isn't just the players either - Stop Hammer Time used the murder of children as a joke, and marked a change in tone for the treatment of NPCs and civilians as not mattering compared to the preferences or comfort of the main characters. The skeletons killing the children wasn't even some sort of monkey's paw scenario about asking for there to be no more orphans in the town, either - it was just nasty shock value, in many ways. And playing this sort of thing for humour makes it quite hard to handle some of the rest of the series as a result.
There also felt like a dissonance, at times, between the objective morality of the characters and how the players seemed to want them to be treated. Prudence never claimed to be anything other than evil, from shooting someone with eldritch blast during the Spicy Rat Caper to enjoying Hammerdahl's necromancy in Extinction - Jane even indicated that she wanted to explore shifting Prudence's alignment post-Fast and the Furriest, which can be seen as Prudence is much less interested in random acts of destruction and seems quite happy to get her kicks scaring or torturing people (Silent Knight) or watching the gruesome spectacle at the end of Knight Shift. So Jane's plans matched Prudence's behaviour - a softening of her deliberately evil acts, but still happy to let others be evil.
For the others, though, it didn't always match. Merilwen's "True Neutral" label often felt more like passively letting her party members be evil, rather than actively seeking balance, Egbert was supposed to be on the search for atonement but regularly allowed or took part in atrocities, and Dob seemed more inclined to act on what the audience or Luke thought was funny (or even deliberately seeking to be contrary) rather than following a consistent attitude to morality. His vaguely annoyed "Skeletons!" and hands on hips in return to "It's orphans, boss" was clearly played for laughs, and in Mule Be Sorry he turns on the town easily, which then makes it feel strange when in Hag Reflex he objects to letting the hag live. Dob's infatuation with Liliana and Katie Pearlhead, both of whom have killed or caused the deaths of great numbers of people, also makes it harder to take his claims to morality at all seriously. The potential moral issues of Merilwen killing the Otherberts to prevent them from taking a message to Liliana (Bad Altitude) is turned into accusing her of "war crimes", but it is absurd in the face of how many other innocent bystanders the guild had killed or caused to die in other stories (from as early as Quiet Riot, in which the paladins were annoying but killing them was honestly overboard, to as late as Squid Pro Quo where Dob seemed to forget that five people had died and then brushed off the deaths).
NPCs also got hit by this at times, from the town mayor in Mule Be Sorry (again) who put his townsfolk on spike growth just to cross it, to the chef in Dine Harder who was abruptly made a cannibal to get a fight going, to the decay of morally Good characters like Captain Shattershield turning away from the Upside Down Mistmire when in his first appearance he had been willing to fight Death itself for being on Mistmire's grounds. It's hard to take seriously moral questions about keeping the Dragon Under Mistmire in its shelter, and the accidentally-caused deaths of two paladins, when the guild has been responsible for much worse.
What I hope for: an approach to morality that does not prioritise momentary humour over consistency; evil behaviour to be acknowledged as evil and owned rather than treated as protagonist-centric; a moral balance which makes it possible to really explore moral issues and concerns rather than extreme behaviour which then makes it impossible to treat conflict seriously. Legacy of Dragons, as a standalone arc seeking Egbert's redemption, exploring the protection vs freedom of the gold dragon, and considering how to improve vs break systems, had some really great potential - but because of extreme 'rule of funny' behaviour in the past, it was impossible to really feel that it had the moral gravitas and weight that it deserved. When the skeletons go from murdering a dozen innocent children (Stop Hammer Time) to giving Merilwen a bad haircut (Mean Gulls) and this is almost treated as somehow consistent in evilness, it makes it harder to respect the characters or the expectation of moral standards.
The Good: The humour, the quick-wittedness, the variety of stories. Roleplaying moments such as Egbert and Shattershield in Legacy of Dragons, Corazón putting his old self behind him at the Curse Hole, or Merilwen saying "I'll make you" to Vex.
The Bad: Unclear character arcs, inconsistent moralities, underpowered classes but at the same time game-breakingly permissive DMing, and some Main Character Syndrome moments.
The Hope: Learning from teething issues and setting up a game system that the DM doesn't resent so much, to better enable people to balance and play off each other in a less jarring and more consistent way.

My brother-in-law is a mechanic and when my truck started to have transmission problems, I took it to a few different places, but he kept telling me he could do it cheaper. I took him up on his offer and he quoted me 2,500 for the full repair and everything. I made sure that that was going to be the full amount and he assured me it was. This was in January. He has went without response to messages for weeks at a time. His excuse was always that he was having family problems, which I get, but not for 5 months. I've spent thousands on rental cars. I was in my last semester of school and had I not been able to bump rides from my classmates, I would've failed outright. I know you shouldn't do business with family, but with me not working so I could focus on school and having two kids to take care of, I took the cheaper option. My truck still isn't fixed and he's basically refusing to fix it without getting more money, his only excuse for the money is that other shops would have charged me more. What can I do?

My stepfather passed away last September and my mother has failed to get a marker for his grave. I have decided to take care of it myself. Just to get a rough estimate for costs I did a google search and found flat granite headstones around the $1000 mark, some a bit more if I wanted to get more details.
I've been working with a guy from the memorial garden where he is buried and he sent me a mock up of a marker. It looks like granite with maybe a brass overlay. I mean, it looks nice. But I asked him a rough estimate on cost and he quoted me $5000.
That price seems way out of line with what I found and I'm curious if the sources I found were just outdates or not including other costs such as installation. Or if the guy at the cemetery is just taking me for a ride. Also, do I have to use the company that the cemetery contracts with or can I have my own marker made up elsewhere and have it installed?

I F(20) have slowly fallen for my M(20) best friend. Could it be a KFC love story?
Me and my best friend met at our first job when we were 16 at KFC (met in year 10 AUS now in first year university). Our store was new so we constantly worked together. Our first time meeting we awkwardly went to McDonalds for lunch and shared some laughs and since then there has been almost no awkwardness.
We could never stop laughing but it was always friends and only ever a side thought it could ever be more. Our friendship meant to much and soon those feelings went away.
He had set me up with one of his friends that was a very complicated situationship lasting roughly 10 months. That was 2 years ago and we have both since moved on seen different people, but that provides some hesitance for me.
Over that period we hung out a lot and our friendship grew so strong and afterwards in year 12 although we didn't see each other often we would call all the time and I would constantly receive the most lovely drunk dials where he would tell me how much he cared for me and what was happening in his life while I sat in my bedroom studying (he is more of party goer than me but I tag along whenever I'm free).
Last year in august was his birthday party. I went and at this point a part of me was slowly realising I was falling for him and thought I would make a move. He did not seem to be getting the point so I moved on to some meaningless hook up with some other random guy which me and my best friend laughed about soon after and make jokes of to this day.
I didn't think to much about my feelings afterwards. However lately a conversation we had keeps coming up in my mind. At a lunch 2 years ago we were discussing how apparently most boys think about liking a girl when they first meet. I asked whether he ever thought it about us? He said yeah he liked me for a bit but realised our friendship was worth too much (implying he didn't want to ruin it by asking me out).
I have realised I'm in love with him. The way he has been there me through some of my toughest moments where we cry to each other and he has entrusted me with his toughest moments. Yet it's not about the way he cares about me, it's the way he cares for everyone around him. He is the kindest truest person I know and whenever If I do something wrong he will tell me so in the most respectable kind way.
He called me at this exact point of writing this post, updating me on one of his outings and is laughing with me.
I trust him with my life and everything in between. The way he treats everyone around him with kindness and truthfulness, he has the purest heart and sees everyone in the best light. He brings out the best in me and I am so truthful around him and he has stuck with me and knows all the good the bad and the ugly and he still says he loves me (as a friend? I think).
At work they call us the mum and dad because we bicker and jokingly argue and tease each other but we know it's all with love. I told my girl best friend yesterday and almost teared up because I genuinely am so fond of him, and she said I never look happier than when I'm with him. When we met 3 years ago I don't think it would've worked if he told me he liked me. But we have grown so much and I have grown to love who he has become and I can imagine growing together in the future. I'm not going to rant anymore about all the ways I continue to fall for him because I think you get it and I don't want to bore you to death.
On the 12th of February these feelings came crushing down on me like a ton of bricks once and I wrote the last journal entry I have since then (it is now almost June). This man has called me under all circumstances, I'm the person he told about his family issues (hasn't told anyone else), I'm the person he has thrown up and crapped on call with while drunk, he's the person who held me and danced with me while I was too drunk to stand, he is my partner when I need to go on a double date to meet my friends boyfriend, he's my best friend and I love everything about him and his family and his values and everything. I could spend everyday with him and not get bored. A movie had a quote once that "when you love someone you don't love despite their flaws you love because", because they laugh funny, they can't dance, because they have a smile that reaches both ends of the room and gives you butterflies and makes your smile bigger.
He has dated people for short periods since we met but never anybody that seriously worked out and he's not seeking anything out at the moment. I never questioned it but I wonder whether it's because he could be saving his feelings (side note I know he is BI and is into girls).
Whenever I joke about him being in love with me he laughs and it seems fully like a joke, he thinks I've so far in the friend zone that I could never mean those jokes truthfully.
I want to tell him I love him and for him to say he loves me back and hold me. But I'm terrified, he knows about my previous guys and stuff like that and I'm afraid he wouldn't want to be with someone like me (a slight um serial dater, used to fill my feelings with hooking up meaninglessly with some random).
I love him, what do I do? how do I tell him? what do I say? do I swallow these bubbling feelings forever even though they have consumed me to the point of writing a reddit post?
I fear telling anyone out of complete fear of rejection by him and out of embarrassment of people knowing, it is not a meaningless crush its a friendship turned into love without me even realising.

I F(18) have slowly fallen for my M(18) best friend.
Me and my best friend met at our first job when we were 16 at KFC (met in year 10 AUS now in first year university). Our store was new so we constantly worked together. Our first time meeting we awkwardly went to McDonalds for lunch and shared some laughs and since then there has been almost no awkwardness.
We could never stop laughing but it was always friends and only ever a side thought it could ever be more. Our friendship meant to much and soon those feelings went away.
He had set me up with one of his friends that was a very complicated situationship lasting roughly 10 months. That was 2 years ago and we have both since moved on seen different people, but that provides some hesitance for me.
Over that period we hung out a lot and our friendship grew so strong and afterwards in year 12 although we didn't see each other often we would call all the time and I would constantly receive the most lovely drunk dials where he would tell me how much he cared for me and what was happening in his life while I sat in my bedroom studying (he is more of party goer than me but I tag along whenever I'm free).
Last year in august was his birthday party. I went and at this point a part of me was slowly realising I was falling for him and thought I would make a move. He did not seem to be getting the point so I moved on to some meaningless hook up with some other random guy which me and my best friend laughed about soon after and make jokes of to this day.
I didn't think to much about my feelings afterwards. However lately a conversation we had keeps coming up in my mind. At a lunch 2 years ago we were discussing how apparently most boys think about liking a girl when they first meet. I asked whether he ever thought it about us? He said yeah he liked me for a bit but realised our friendship was worth too much (implying he didn't want to ruin it by asking me out).
I have realised I'm in love with him. The way he has been there me through some of my toughest moments where we cry to each other and he has entrusted me with his toughest moments. Yet it's not about the way he cares about me, it's the way he cares for everyone around him. He is the kindest truest person I know and whenever If I do something wrong he will tell me so in the most respectable kind way.
He called me at this exact point of writing this post, updating me on one of his outings and is laughing with me.
I trust him with my life and everything in between. The way he treats everyone around him with kindness and truthfulness, he has the purest heart and sees everyone in the best light. He brings out the best in me and I am so truthful around him and he has stuck with me and knows all the good the bad and the ugly and he still says he loves me (as a friend? I think).
At work they call us the mum and dad because we bicker and jokingly argue and tease each other but we know it's all with love. I told my girl best friend yesterday and almost teared up because I genuinely am so fond of him, and she said I never look happier than when I'm with him. When we met 3 years ago I don't think it would've worked if he told me he liked me. But we have grown so much and I have grown to love who he has become and I can imagine growing together in the future. I'm not going to rant anymore about all the ways I continue to fall for him because I think you get it and I don't want to bore you to death.
On the 12th of February these feelings came crushing down on me like a ton of bricks once and I wrote the last journal entry I have since then (it is now almost June). This man has called me under all circumstances, I'm the person he told about his family issues (hasn't told anyone else), I'm the person he has thrown up and crapped on call with while drunk, he's the person who held me and danced with me while I was too drunk to stand, he is my partner when I need to go on a double date to meet my friends boyfriend, he's my best friend and I love everything about him and his family and his values and everything. I could spend everyday with him and not get bored. A movie had a quote once that "when you love someone you don't love despite their flaws you love because", because they laugh funny, they can't dance, because they have a smile that reaches both ends of the room and gives you butterflies and makes your smile bigger.
He has dated people for short periods since we met but never anybody that seriously worked out and he's not seeking anything out at the moment. I never questioned it but I wonder whether it's because he could be saving his feelings (side note I know he is BI and is into girls).
Whenever I joke about him being in love with me he laughs and it seems fully like a joke, he thinks I've so far in the friend zone that I could never mean those jokes truthfully.
I want to tell him I love him and for him to say he loves me back and hold me. But I'm terrified, he knows about my previous guys and stuff like that and I'm afraid he wouldn't want to be with someone like me (a slight um serial dater, used to fill my feelings with hooking up meaninglessly with some random).
I love him, what do I do? how do I tell him? what do I say? do I swallow these bubbling feelings forever even though they have consumed me to the point of writing a reddit post?
I fear telling anyone out of complete fear of rejection by him and out of embarrassment of people knowing, it is not a meaningless crush its a friendship turned into love without me even realising.

Let us start with the advert itself. Well, in form it is no different from the PiS adverts made by Kurski. Dramatic music, dramatic narration, dramatic frames, a few piles of skulls, a smiling Putin, Lukashenko and so on. It's obvious that the intention was to hammer the PiS = Russia equation into people's heads by appealing to the simplest of emotions, namely fear of a brutal superpower. Well, and it's a campaign ad, so of course the political opponent, i.e. PiS, is hit with a mace. Opinions differ. I am one of those who believe that this form will have the opposite effect to the one intended. In the safe electorate of PO it will probably be attractive. Everywhere else, it will cause embarrassment. As a result, many people will think that all this Russian influence is no real problem. Just another stage in the 20-year PO-PiS war. And I am not even talking about the so-called Jan Kowalski). This is exactly the tone in which professional pundits speak. It never ceases to amaze me, but what can I do, I have come to terms with the facts.
Well, it shouldn't be like that.
It has been argued that PiS has did a lot more and a lot worse over eight years. Yes, that is true. It has. And it would be nice if some pundits remembered that and didn't write silly things about how now, in May 2024, someone in Poland has called someone a traitor for the first time. Still, I guess we expected a more sophisticated rhetoric from the current government, didn't we? Because the problem of Russian influence is real and has been swept under the carpet as much as possible. And it needs to be dealt with in a calm, rational way.
That's right. Because apart from the form, there is also content in the ad. There is the statement that PiS "won the election with the help of illegally collected recordings from a Russian coal importer". Ok, here is the suggestion that PiS won ONLY because of this, which of course is not true. The 2015 victory, like any victory, was the result of many factors. Both the mistakes of the then PO-PSL coalition, the lies of PiS (Smolensk trutherism, refugee fearmongering, purported plans of privatising forests) and the poor result of the Left), which was missing a few tens of thousands of votes to enter the Sejm. Yes, this is manipulation, although we should also remember that we are talking about a 50-second election ad. Nevertheless, the base of this argument is as true as it can be. The recordings from the restaurant were commissioned by Marek Falenta, who imported Russian coal into Poland. The Russians were involved in this affair on several levels, to which I will return shortly. PiS obtained these recordings from Falenta, knowing that they had been obtained illegally and probably knowing that they were helping a Russian spy. PiS used them to help itself win the election. I'm sorry, but that's what happened.
It goes on to say that PiS increased imports of Russian coal. This is no secret either, the figures are public. In the last two years of the PO-PSL coalition, 6.5 and 4.9 million tonnes were imported from there. In the first years of the PiS government, these figures rose to 5.2, 8.6 and 13.1 million respectively, after which they began to fall. In 2019-2020, they reached a similar volume as in 2010-2011, i.e. with the PO-PSL government. Of course, this is manipulative, because to get a complete picture one would have to give the total volumes for eight years (and these are similar), while the sheer fact of the sudden increase in Russian coal imports after 2015 is undeniable.
It continued: 'Cases indicating the growing influence of Belarusian and Russian agencies have been swept under the carpet.
Excuse me, but weren't they? If it is possible to point to a constant, unchanging part of this issue during the eight years of the PiS government, it is the pattern, which has always been the same. Investigative journalists uncover some Russian influence on people close to the ruling party, some (let's be clear: some) media write about it, some of us are outraged, and then nothing happens. Little has been done about the Russian infiltration of circles opposing the government, see the Confederation, the anti-establisment and anti-vaccine movements and so on. The question 'where are the agencies' has even been asked so many times in pro-democratic social media that I could print these comments and cover my walls with them. Sorry, but that's how it was. I don't know if it gets any better, but that's the way it was.
Furthermore, 'they blocked investment in the expansion of the Polish army'.
If I were PO, I would stay away from this argument. Yes, PiS blocked the purchase of Caracal helicopters, and during Macierewicz's time as defense minister, the army sometimes even lacked uniforms. But all this is irrelevant today, given that after the Russian invasion of Ukraine the PiS government has expanded the Polish military a lot. This argument would make sense in 2019. In 2024 it does not. I note, however, that it was not as various PiS propagndists now portray it that they took power and immediately turned Poland into a military superpower. In fact, little was done in this direction for the first six years.
It continues: 'Thanks to the support and involvement of PiS politicians, Tomasz Szmydt, until recently a judge and in fact a spy who fled to Belarus, has made a dizzying career.
I don't know what could be controversial here? Probably just the clear naming of Szmydt as a spy. Actually, we don't know 100% what his role was, but ok, it fits into the convention of a campaign ad. On the other hand, the statement that Szmydt had a career on the side of PiS is, well, I'm very sorry, but: true.
Finally, there is a passage in which Tusk compares the United Right) to the communist ruling party PZPR, which was once deciphered as 'paid traitors, lackeys of Russia' (Płatni zdrajcy, pachołki Rosji) . It's all part of the political shit throwing. To make it stick, the PiS logo is turned upside down, and turns into the Russian coat of arms is. This is how the advert ends.
We have discussed the ad itself, but it has sparked a discussion about Russian influence in Poland. There is no shortage of voices saying that it is absurd to call PiS a 'pro-Russian party', because the PiS government has given a lot of military equipment to Ukraine, including priceless tanks, in considerable numbers. Let me perhaps clarify a few things.
It is necessary to specify what is meant by 'pro-Russian party'. Is PiS a party that openly says that Russia is great? No. Has Kaczyński ever said that he copied his policies from Russia? No. Has he openly sided with Russia against the West? Again, no.
But was Kaczyński saying much the same thing about the West that the Kremlin has been saying for years? Yes, he was. Did Kaczyński create a political crisis in relations with almost all of Poland's Western allies as soon as he took power? Yes, he did. Did he introduce a series of anti-democratic laws in Poland that resembled Russian solutions, albeit in a softer version? Yes. Did Kaczyński plan and promote a war with the EU institutions that ultimately led to an unprecedented freeze of EU subsidies to Poland? Yes. Did he speak the language of polexit? Yes, he did. Does all this fit into Russia's strategy of dismantling Western structures? Absolutely.
So perhaps a more appropriate word than 'pro-Russian' would be 'Russifying'? Or a little longer: 'often strongly pursuing the Kremlin's geopolitical interests, sharing the Kremlin's view of Europe and European values, as the Kremlin is fiercely anti-Western, though likely to see itself as very anti-Russian'?
Earlier I mentioned the tape scandal and the involvement of the Russians in it. Although it seems unlikely, some pundits have managed to dismiss this fact because it does not fit in with the fact that PiS supplied arms to Ukraine. Well, they say, if PiS is supposedly so pro-Russian that the Russians helped it come to power, how do you explain the aid? Well, first of all, its proponents forget something as trivial as chronology. When the people linked to the Russians were setting up the background to the tape scandal, there was no war. It was 2010-2012, and the first wiretap was set up in the spring of 2013. There was no Euromaidan, no rebellion in Donbas, no annexation of Crimea. No one could have predicted how PiS would behave in 2022, because no one expected anything unusual to happen in 2022.
On the other hand, it was foreseeable that PiS would be an anti-Western party. That it would be a party that would confront the EU and its individual members. That PiS would say similar things about the EU as Russia, as PiS had been saying for years, and that it would ally with far-right circles that said so even more. That it would make a mess in the intelligence agencies, just like in 2006. And now let's look at the chronology. In 2013, the first bugs were set up. In June 2014, a scandal erupts, the media repeats all these vulgar quotes for months, which kills off PO's chances in the 2015 elections. In the autumn of 2015, PiS takes power and almost immediately: breaks into the NATO counterintelligence expert centre, abolishes the ABW field delegations, removes almost everyone from the agencies and fills them with newcomers with no experience (just like in 2006), makes Macierewicz the head of the Ministry of Defence with all his Russian connections, which Macierewicz immediately turns into a landing spot for people with Russian connections (such as Gaj and Kownacki), supports the pro-Russian think tank Ordo Iuris and immediately initiates an anti-Western civilisational turn. In this context, should we be so surprised that the Russians might have preferred the PiS in power?
All this happens six years before any tanks are handed over to Ukraine. I know, shocker, history didn't start in the spring of 2022.
Well, and now PO is releasing that ad. And some people say: oh dear, now PiS is going to accuse PO of being pro-Russian and the PO is going to accuse PiS of being pro-Russian, It's unbearable, so let's pretend it's not happening. I won't hide it, it's tiresome. But it would be nice if, as a species, a rational species, we could sometimes look beyond the political insults and focus on the evidence. And there really is a lot of it. The fact that the advert presents the case in this way does not change the fact that the situation is extremely serious.
It has been argued that PO's ad is setting the European Parliament campaign entirely on the Russia-EU divide. This is true, but there is a nuance. Leaving aside the clumsy form and the manipulation I explained above... isn't it the case that it was PiS that just took part in no less than three summits of European and American eurosceptics, Trumpists and Putin lovers, where it was explicitly said that this is the election in which it would be decided whether Europe would return to 'normality', traditional values, Christian roots and a 'Europe of homelands', or be swallowed up forever by the woke behemoth? Needless to say, this is a narrative very similar to the one the Kremlin has been using for years?
In short, what we need now is a serious debate about Russian and Belarusian influence in Poland. A debate that has been sorely lacking in recent years. This debate will inevitably become part of a political conflict. It will not be avoided because we are also talking about the influence of top politicians (not only from the PiS, by the way). All the more reason to be careful. The PO ad is a campaign ad, so it has a different convention. Nevertheless, in my opinion, it does the opposite. It reduces a real problem to a political trend. We can only hope that this is just a stupid idea of a few PR excecs and not part of a strategy that will last for years. The recent actions of the ABW and the fact that Donald Tusk has announced the appointment of a commission of experts to investigate these influences allow for some cautious optimism on this issue. Time will tell, of course.

Hey delhi people, this post might be a bit long, but if you could help me out, I'd be really grateful. Thanks for clicking on it!
So, here's my issue: My family and I moved to a new place in West Delhi less than two years ago. We live in a builder floor setup where different families occupy different floors. For the past several months, there's been a street dog hanging out in our parking area all day because it's cooler there. Generally, it's not a big deal because he stays near the car belonging to the first-floor residents, not ours.
The main problem is that this dog BARKS all the maids and delivery guys. As a result, we have to escort them to our floor every day, and the delivery guys can't leave packages in the lift because the dog blocks the way and barks at them. A few months ago, he even bit one of our helpers, and we had to take them to the hospital. Since then, it's been a nightmare for my mom to finding anyone willing to work at our house because they're all scared of the dog and she's the one suffering the most.
The first-floor residents, who are the ones feeding and taking care of the dog, don’t seem to have any issues. We've tried talking to them, asking if they could stop feeding the dog or at least discourage him from staying in the parking area, but they aren't interested in helping. In fact, it turned into an argument because they have other issues with us and other residents too, which eventually lead to a police complaint and all other drama, so talking to them isnt an option.
I need a solution to this problem asap, does anyone know how to get this dog relocated to another area or is it even legal ? The MCD doesn't seem to be helpful, the most they can do is vaccinate him and drop him back, which doesn't solve our problem. I think he's already vaccinated thanks to the first-floor residents, but it dosent neutralize his aggression
I would be really helpful if anyone can offer a solution, but keep in mind that we can't do something like fencing since the parking area is common to all residents, and dog repellent sprays seem like a temporary fix.
Thanks for taking the time to read this :)

I made a discovery and uploaded this video on yt a couple days ago but I completely forgot reddit exists so for a few days reddit became the quote on quote forgotten child.. XD Anyways, for those who care and who play the Beta right now I discovered that there is a phd skip that is kinda hard to get with a bit of a setup.. I am posting this here now becausing Lex saw the video, he didnt call me out or anything but he did mention the video I made and posted but he did say that it may get patched out since they are as of right now classing it as a glitch.. qnq So if you want to do it now is your chance to perhaps be the few who may get to do it.. ^u^ Here is my video link; https://youtu.be/w1H-HOnYp0g?si=q5MczcUNiYQK-KSz I dont talk and dont explain but its pretty straight forward.. I could probably do a breakdown video if anyone wants that but its not really needed..
Must mention so that people dont get confused or whatever but this is for a BO3 Custom Zombies map and not for BO2, I am pretty sure everyone should know that already but who knows.. xD

https://www.newsletter.co.uk/health/watch-michelle-oneill-faces-ferocious-grilling-at-uk-covid-inquiry-first-minister-asked-why-she-wiped-phone-messages-despite-clear-legal-advice-4627731
Health WATCH: Michelle O'Neill faces ferocious grilling at UK Covid inquiry: First Minister asked why she wiped phone messages despite 'clear' legal advice By Adam Kula Published 14th May 2024, 12:31 BST Updated 14th May 2024, 17:03 BST
Michelle O’Neill is facing a ferocious grilling at the UK’s Covid inquiry, where she has been accused of simply blaming others – particularly the UK government – instead of reflecting on her own role. She was sworn in using a secular oath as opposed to The Bible.
The First Minister of Northern Ireland began her testimony by confirming that yes, she led the country’s government, that she was a leader of her party both north and south, and that she was responsible for not just leading the response to the pandemic but leading by example too.
Having established her senior position in these slow, solemn opening exchanges with Clair Dobbin KC (barrister for the inquiry), Ms O’Neill began with the frequently-cited Sinn Fein line about “public services being decimated with 10 years of austerity cuts”.
A selection Ms O’Neill’s own words were then put to her, taken from her witness statement to the inquiry.
“Blaming others – that’s something you’ve done throughout your witness statement, isn’t it?” said Ms Dobbin.
"The constant theme throughout it, do you agree, is that you blame the UK government for the slowness of this approach in the initial stages of the pandemic: do you agree?”
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"I don’t accept I blame others throughout the statement,” replied Ms O’Neill.
Michelle O'Neill at the hearing on May 14, 2024 Michelle O'Neill at the hearing on May 14, 2024 "I accept I point out where things are wrong. In particular, I do believe my position is vindicated in terms of the fact Boris Johnson and his government were too slow to act at the start of the pandemic.”
The following was also put to her by Ms Dobbin: “Ms O’Neill, there’s no reflection I think, nor any insight in your witness statement, about any of the hurt or any of the problems you caused by attending the funeral of Mr Storey [the IRA enforcer who died while receiving NHS care in England].”
"I think I have addressed that in my statement,” Ms O’Neill replied, then asked to “address the families” directly.
"You are here to give evidence, not to address people,” came the reply.
Clair Dobbin and Michelle O'Neill at the Covid inquiry, May 14, 2024 Ms O’Neill went on to say of the Storey funeral: “I am sorry for going – and I’m sorry for the hurt that has been caused.”
In 2020, she had said: “I will never apologise for attending the funeral of my friend.”
MINUTIAE OF THE MINUTES: The handwritten minutes of an Executive meeting just after the funeral were then shown to the inquiry.
These minutes recount that Ms O’Neill had told her colleagues she was “honoured” to be invited to funeral, that he was “a huge figure”, that she knew “thousands would want to attend”, that “people vote with feet,” that there was “no dilution in my mind of public message”, and there was “no offence intended”.
A section of the minutes was read out covering comments made by Conor Murphy (the former Sinn Fein finance minister, who is not attending the inquiry on grounds of ill-health).
That section of the minutes has him saying: “Rules relaxed – not same circumstances; breach of regs – technicalities; I attended, but not in cortege; chapel – soc dist – stewardship…
"People can say what they want to say – entitled to opinion, I’m entitled to be sceptical.”
Ms Dobbin turned to Mrs O’Neill and said the minutes showed her to be “entirely unapologetic on July 2, weren’t you?”
“It was immediately after the funeral itself. I think what I said there in terms of not diluting the public message, that was wrong, because clearly I did – and I have acknowledged that, and have worked every day ever since to regain public confidence and trust.”
She added, her voice appearing almost to break: "I would never, ever set out to hurt people.”
PARTYGATE ‘HYPOCRISY’: The chairwoman of the inquiry herself then quizzed her, putting it to her that “wasn’t it a bit hypocritical” to criticise Boris Johnson over ‘Partygate’ given her involvement in the funeral?
"I don’t think so because they’re two very different things in terms of the Boris Johnson approach of partying the whole way through the pandemic and blinking their way through it to be quite blunt…”
The chairwoman interjected: “We didn’t find out about the partying ‘til after the panedmic. What you did was to do something that the bereaved couldn’t do – the normal bereaved couldn’t do – because you wanted to go to a friends funeral.
"Isn’t that then saying what Boris Johnson’s government did was wrong was hypocritical?”
Ms O’Neill responded: "No, I don’t think so because what I did was under the understanding of the regulations at that time.
"I know we don’t want to open that up my lady but I have answered that.
"But I do accept wholeheartedly that I, in some way, damaged our executive relations with colleagues who had been working very hard with me the whole way through.
“I also accept wholeheartedly I damaged the public health messaging…
"I should have anticipated the outworking of what I did.”
Ms Dobbin then asked: “Was it really that difficult to anticipate the outworking of what you did Ms O’Neill?”
Ms O’Neill replied: “It was insofar as I was concerned on a personal invite attending a cortege of 30 people and I tried not to open this up but that’s the basis on which I attended.”
Ms Dobbin said: “One of the first questions I asked you was whether or not people from Northern Ireland got the leadership they deserved from you: how can you maintain that they did, in light of what you’ve just accepted?”
Ms O’Neill: “I didn’t say everything was perfect all of the time.
"I do believe that I did lead from the front the whole way through the pandemic, as did all of my executive colleagues.
"We’ve had difficulties, we’ve had challenging times, we’ve worked through very difficult times – which I’m sure you’ll want to speak about – but I do believe I led the whole way through; albeit I put my hands up in terms of the funeral itself and how I shouldn’t have done that, because that took away from all the work I’d put in to trying to lead us through the pandemic which was hard on everybody right across society…
"I worked day and night to get us through this pandemic, so apart from this one time I do believe my leadership was strong through the pandemic.”
Ms Dobbin said: “Well, let’s examine that...”
DELETED MESSAGES: Later in the session, Ms O’Neill was asked if she accepts that she “cleansed or wiped your devices when the powersharing arrangements came to an end”.
"That’s right,” she replied.
"Did you delete them in and around February 2022 or was it later than that?”
She responded: “I’m assuming whenever I left office, yes”.
Ms O’Neill went on to tell the inquiry she would periodically wipe and reset devices to delete personal information.
It was put to Ms O’Neill that, based on the phone records which the inquiry does possess, it was clear that she and Arlene Foster had used their phones to “discuss substantive matters about the response to the pandemic”.
Ms O’Neill said: "There may well have been the to-ing and fro-ing outside a meeting. All decisions were recorded on the official record in terms of what the civil service hold."
Ms Dobbin said: “It’s not just decisions that have to be recorded though is it? It’s discussions around them. there are rules aren’t there there’s guidance about what should be retained and committed to the official record.”
Ms O’Neill replied: “...I’m confident all those decisions were recorded. I’ve been a minister for health, I’ve been a minister for agriculture and rural affairs, and I noted other ministers – minister Long – had the same approach as I in terms of clearing your device because of sensitive information before you hand it back to the department because it’s going to be redistributed to another member of staff.”
Ms Dobbin then quoted from Ms O’Neill’s witness statement in which the Sinn Fein MLA had said: “I did not use WhatsApp, text messages, or iMessages to communicate about matters related to the response to the pandemic during the specified period other than logistical and administrative matters.’”
Ms Dobbin added that Ms O’Neill had been given “clear advice that you should be retaining WhatsApps” to which the Sinn Fein vice-president said: “Yes, but I believe I’ve misunderstood exactly what I should retain and thought I had retained everything that was relevant to the Covid decision-making process…
"Firstly I wiped the device, as minister Long explained, because we thought that was our custom and practice in terms of departmental phones being returned.
"Secondly that I believed the official record was recorded and populated.”
Thirdly, there was “a misunderstanding on my part” in terms of what constituted formal and informal communication.

(Fake names are used throughout the entirety of this post) To start this whole thing up, i (F21) was in a one and and a half year relationship with Jo (M24) that was somewhat long distance. He lives a town away from me which is about 30 minutes of travel time. Most of our relationship didnt have issues and we were pretty smooth sailing. The only real problem we had was that he was controlling (needing to be in all my social media exc.) and if he didnt get his way he would have a meltdown. I never really minded this and gave him everything because I didnt have anything to hide and neither did i really care much. But towards our initial break up he became more controlling - more jealous. He would talk about how my best friend (F22) had feelings towards me, wouldnt let me speak with other men which included my own uncle (M46) and any male friends i used to have. When i denied him something of this nature, he would go on to talk about how vulnerable he was because his ex (F22) cheated on him multiple times while she was drunk. For the same reasons, i couldnt drink any alcohol or consume anything that would in turn make me in some way not in my right mind. Now - to get to the jist of the break up.
Jo's mother (F50) which ill call Livvie never really liked me. Shes one of those boy moms you see obsessing over their sons and their every need. She would always go out of her way to shame me for something (what im wearing, my job - im a costume designer and so on) but i never payed her much mind because i didnt think she would butt into my relationship.
Jo's graduation from university was coming up, which is a pretty big thing in my country. Everyone of his friends and family was invited to the graduation after-party, including me of course. One day, me and Jo were on call when Livvy came into his room and told him (im quoting)
"I dont want Ali at your graduation."
"Why? She's my girlfriend."
"Okay and i dont want her there. Im paying for everything so i get to decide who goes and who doesnt."
"Fine."
Now, i was on his tail for a little about how he shouldnt just let his mom win over and fight for me a little, but i wasnt gonna beg him so i just let the topic go after he kept on talking about how ungrateful that would be of him. His mother then goes in again and speaks. "I want Tam to go to the ball in place of Ali."
"Okay."
In that moment everything went black for me. Tam(F24) was one of Jo's exes who was in his university and helped him study. She was always making weird creepy comments towards him like "i know youre my smart boy" or "dont worry, ill always be with you". I always made it more than clear i was uncomfortable with him being around her and he always kind of brushed it off. I let it slide since they rarely interacted. But this i wasnt going to let slide. I immediately blasted him for doing this and broke off the relationship, hanging up and basically crying myself to sleep.
For a month, everything was okay and dandy and we werent speaking but he came back into my life to text me about how hes sorry and how he just cant deny his mother of what she wanted because she was paying, stuff like that. I, like an idiot, accepted said apology and said we could be on friendly terms. But our sparks rose up again and in no time we were back together. What i found out from Jo himself was that in the time we were broken up he had been in a situantionship with Tam and he was CURRENTLY trying to find a way to tell her hes not interested. And thats about where the story ends. I truly dont know what to do. I still love him and i dont want to leave, i dont even know how to, but this just isnt right. Please help.
TLDR; My boyfriends mom wanted his ex at his graduation and he didnt object in any way so i broke up with him. A month later we get back together and hes still in a situationship with his ex.

I, 25F, was in a committed, monogamous relationship for 2 years with my ex, 26M. During the first year, we shared many happy moments enjoying life together. Overall, healthy, passionate and fulfilling. We enjoyed each others company and bonded over our love of music. It was great.
Things became challenging as he grew dismissive of me, and almost disinterested in going out in public with by me by the 1.5 year mark. I’d spend time with him, listen to him, try to show up the best I could, without annoying him. It didn’t work. I did everything I could possibly think of to better myself and level up so he wouldn’t be annoyed with me. Real self care stuff. Not bothering him when he needed space. It made no difference but he was so hot and cold, I wrote it off as a phase he was having and that we’d get through it. It hurt me to feel like I needed to change to make him feel the way he used to.
He ended things abruptly at the beginning of April. “I need to focus on graduate school and I can’t have a girlfriend right now. The coursework is overwhelming and I can’t give you what you need”. Obviously I was confused as it was coming from nowhere and I didn’t understand how I couldn’t have seen it coming. I told him to leave, if he wanted to go. He did. I thought we were happy but he was not.
He then (after dumping me) began to blame me for ruining the relationship. I had struggled with depression for a couple months, but got on medication and started therapy and regular exercise to help myself. He only saw the depression. Not the recovery. He said, and I’m quoting verbatim here: “I just don’t see you being a good mother with your mental health”. Yes I’ve been through trauma, but I’ve been in therapy since 12 and genuinely am doing really well. I have moments, sure, but only once every 6 months or so, when something triggers my SA. I cried for days not understanding what was wrong with me that made him leave.
A week went by post breakup and I get a text from a girl who he claimed he had only been platonic friends with. They worked on music together and as he owned a studio, they’d have late nights together. I assumed it was professional. She admitted to me that they had been seeing each other while my ex and were in an exclusive relationship. They were dating when he met me and he just didn’t end it with her. And that there might have been more women than just her.
This whole time I’ve been disillusioned into thinking I was living in a loving relationship with two faithful parties, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. He went out of his way to convince me to trust him fully. He told me that because his father cheated on his mother, he would NEVER do that to a woman. But the whole time, it was a lie.
He admitted it too.
So the past 2 years where I’ve discreetly felt in my gut that something was wrong but ignored it and wrote it off as paranoia, I was right all along? I just believed a man who told me he was devoted to me and only had eyes for me?
My whole life feels like a lie and I genuinely didn’t see it coming, despite a low, rumbling intuition. How am I supposed to trust another man after the one man I trusted with my life, was lying to me the whole time? I’ve never trusted anyone more than this person before. How do I survive this hurt?
TLDR; boyfriend cheating, it was a complete blindside and I didn’t see it coming.