How to make paracord bracelets wave pattern

A Place For Crochet Patterns

2015.05.02 02:14 Agent_Honeydew A Place For Crochet Patterns

This is a place to share, look for and discuss crochet patterns. Looking for a specifik pattern? Liked a pattern so much you wanna share it? Or do you have questions about a pattern your following? Then this sub is for you! Happy hooking!
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2010.04.28 02:48 transcendhate Cross Stitch

Cross Stitch - a home for stitchers, finished objects (FOs), works-in-progress (WIPs), patterns, and more!
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2013.01.29 00:24 aelendel Is it a meteorite, or is it slag?

Dedicated to identifying mysterious rocks and minerals.
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2024.05.21 19:42 SE_Ranking Making SEO Data Resonate: Effective Data Storytelling for Clients and Stakeholders

In our latest blog post, Lazarina Stoy split apart the data storytelling process into simple steps. She shared real-world examples and practical tips for avoiding common pitfalls and creating stories that resonate with your audience. We brought you key takeaways from the article, but don't hesitate to read the entire thing.
Key components of a data story include the setup, conflict, and resolution
The Setup paints a picture of the current situation. The Conflict comprises any event that changes this reality and disrupts the status quo. The Resolution is the new reality emerging from the conflict that you can derive actionable insights from.
Data storytelling is a technique that combines various skills
It includes data science, data visualization, relationship management, and narrative skills to communicate data insights and drive action.
Identify the perfect story by monitoring meaningful events
There is almost always a story to tell around the SEO data you work with. Major updates, Google’s new features, and other changes can all largely impact your website’s performance, providing interesting stories to discuss about your SEO data.
Know your audience and focus on the metrics they care about most
Different audiences require different reporting styles. Know who your audience is and tell stories with the metrics that matter most to them. For instance, team members or project managers generally need reports that are more detailed and packed with tactical insights. For C-level individuals, you should emphasize higher-level strategies, KPIs, and business impact.
Create an unbiased data story
Creating fact-based SEO reports is essential for gaining and retaining client trust. One common mistake is to craft narratives that are more appealing than factual. For instance, some companies have been too quick to integrate generative AI and ChatGPT into their SEO strategies. Some even made the mistake of replacing their content teams with AI without solid evidence of its effectiveness. Exaggerated assertions about the capabilities of generative AI led to subpar content quality.
Build a story around one central insight or “protagonist” metric
Focus on one key insight or "protagonist" metric that resonates with your client's emotions and goals to craft a story that captivates and motivates them to take action.
Deliver SEO data story effectively by providing context and benchmarks
SEO doesn't happen in a bubble. Context matters. Provide this context during one-on-one coaching sessions, in report documentation, and even in emails prior to your presentations.
Use clear language, choose the right visualizations and colors, suggest next steps, and encourage discussion through live story broadcasting
Simplify the data to make it easy for your audience to spot patterns and insights. Clarify, don’t confuse (or even worse – offend) your audience. Make your data actionable by assisting your audience in understanding how to use this information to achieve their goals.
Practice data storytelling skills with diverse resources
Becoming a data storytelling pro takes time and effort. That’s why we created this list full of helpful points.
submitted by SE_Ranking to SEO [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 19:41 Natural_Subject9439 Bf (24M) went nuclear in my (24F) face over a false assumption. How do I process/move past this?

Long post ahead so bear with me.
I’m 24F dating my 24M boyfriend for 4 years. Overall I’d say our relationship has been pretty good - no serious issues until now, all of our fights have been over his tendency to be moody or passive aggressive.
Some background information: I’m on the neurodivergent spectrum and suffer from depressive episodes, but I’m high functioning because I don’t want it to affect my professional life or anyone else but me. A side effect of that has been my tendency to isolate myself from everyone, which I’ve done for the majority of our relationship - sometimes I didn’t interact with anyone at all except for my family and my bf. I haven’t gone a single day in the last 6 years without any contact with him.
I realized that this wasn’t healthy so this year I decided to try and come out of my shell and build more friendships. It’s a bit hard but I’ve been working on it slowly, and one of my newfound friends was one of my bf’s friends, J (23M), as well - they had been friends for about a year at this point. We hit it off pretty well and as someone who’s really bad at friendships I enjoyed talking to J, but it was strictly platonic - nothing out of the ordinary, exactly like every friendship I have/have ever had. Please keep in mind I did not prioritize interactions I had with J or anyone else over ones I had with my bf.
While my bf initially really liked J, around the time we started becoming friends he started to sour on J until he eventually just started icing him because he didn’t like anything about him all of a sudden, and the only reason he could come up with was “J was annoying.” He also told me he found it “weird” that he chose to be friends with his friend’s gf (confused about that one because I met some of my closest friends through him/his circles). I reassure him that there’s nothing weird going on and my friendship with J is, once again, platonic. In all honesty, I also didn’t really think much of it because I didn’t find J to be annoying and my bf has had a pattern of disliking some of my friends for no apparent reason, even if he’d never talked to them. (My friends are all just goofy nerds so I never really got why.)
3 weeks ago my bf tells me he thinks J is trying to sleep with me but he has no evidence or thoughts to support this. I’m obviously shocked and once again reassure him that I’ve never picked up sleazy vibes from J and he’s never been inappropriate with me. I’ve had really creepy encounters before so I’m always hyperalert about these kinds of things and if I do get those vibes I shut them down immediately.
Onto the main clown show: last week my bf texts me angry that I’ve been lying to him and that I’ve been repeatedly gaslighting him into thinking my friendship with J was normal, but after a conversation with one of his other friends he’s convinced that he’s right and it’s inappropriate for J to be friends with me. Then he goes ahead and texts J to stop texting me and accuses him, amongst other things, of being a creep. To the surprise of absolutely no one, turns out this scenario that my bf created of J secretly trying to steal me away from him was completely false and J is both hurt and pissed about it. He tells him that he’s only ever thought of him as a good friend and he never had ill intentions towards me but he cannot in good conscience be ok with this and subsequently cuts both of us off.
For obvious reasons, I’m extremely pissed about this and we have a blowout fight over it, because turns out I don’t like anyone messing with my friendships like that and falsely accusing someone who’s done nothing wrong to you of being a creep is a shitty thing to do. He genuinely didn’t see anything wrong about what he did and “he did what he had to because he was desperate to get J out of my life and I left him no other choice.” He also told me that if he woke up to find out I did something to cause his friends to cut him off, he’d assume I had a good reason to do so and everything that happened with J was for the best. He screamed at me, accused me of being disrespectful and thinking of him as an insecure loser, called me a whole slew of hurtful things, that I’m disgusting and make him feel worthless and that he fucking hates me repeatedly. It overall just turned into a really ugly mess.
The next morning he was calmer and apologized for the hurtful things he said and that he didn’t mean any of it. He also admitted what he did was wrong, that he overreacted out of paranoia, and that he’s sorry he hurt J and ruined my friendship with him. He admitted that I was right, there wasn’t anything weird going on like he thought and he apologized for messing with my personal life.
The issue is I’m having a hard time processing all of this. First of all this couldn’t have happened at a worse time because I have a lot of personal issues going on that I’m incredibly stressed out about and he’s well aware of that. He’s also aware that I’ve always struggled with making friends, and now any urge I’ve had to do that is gone. I can’t get over him saying I make him feel worthless because I’ve dedicated so much and sacrificed so much to be with him and make him happy every way I could. I’ve never and still don’t prioritize anyone else over him. Having your boyfriend of nearly 5 years tell you he doesn’t trust you and despises you is also pretty fucking shitty because I’ve never done anything distrustful or been anywhere near as hurtful as he has been to me. His apologies sound hollow and lukewarm to me because at the end of the day, he got exactly what he wanted. And I’m left to suck it up and deal with it.
I don’t know what to do and I feel like I’m alone backed into a corner and I’m about to break with all the other things going on in my life. I’m sorry if this post isn’t very coherent but I’m a little tipsy right now. I just feel so violated and I’ve never felt more horrible or alone in my life than I do now and I’ve never not felt like that my entire life. I don’t know and can’t tell if I’m the one who messed up here and what I should do. Any advice, harsh or gentle is appreciated.
TLDR: bf incorrectly assumed mutual friend was trying to sleep with me and subsequently went nuclear on both me and friend. Am hurt and don’t know how or if I should resolve this.
submitted by Natural_Subject9439 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 19:41 Ares378 [Backstorypost] Attempt two! (Whoops)

/uw Part four is here! Here's part one, part two, and part three! This one's probably a little more unpolished than the other ones, but I hope that doesn't ruin it! CW: Death, blood. I made a render in blender, but it got the post removed! Take two!
/rw
The end of the book, thin as it is, draws near. The text is overwritten dozens of times, always with the same phrase: "IT WAS AN ACCIDENT". Same as the other pages, though, it's easy enough to look past the bad coverup job. History cannot be erased, after all.
...
When I arrived at the hospital, I was in bad shape. I had a fractured skull, a missing eye, a lesion in my frontal lobe, and I was in hypovolemic shock. They didn't think I was going to make it.
It was a miracle that I even woke up from my two-week coma, but it wasn't all perfect. From the moment I opened my eye(s), I didn't know where I was. I had to relearn everything. My name, my address, my identity... They were all gone.
It was as if I was a new man who'd been transported into a stranger's body. Everyone talked to me as if they knew me, but I couldn't say the same for them. Especially that drow, Eldred. He claimed we were childhood friends. Every day, he'd tell me stories of our history together, but they were stories I never wanted to hear. It felt wrong listening to him talk, knowing there was a man who knew more about me than I did.
The moment I was discharged, I fled to my apartment. I drew the blinds, locked the door, and cut off all contact from the outside world. I wanted to run away from it all, to start a new life, not some travesty of another man's life.
After a few days of my isolation, Eldred (presumably) got worried about me, and came knocking on my door. I didn't answer. I wanted nothing to do with him—or anyone, for that matter. He was a remnant of my old life, and I couldn't let him influence me.
A couple days later, he did the same thing. He offered some kind, reassuring words through the door and left. He did this again, and again, and again, for weeks. I was running low on food and supplies, so I was faced with a choice: leave my safe haven, or starve to death in my own home. I didn't like either option. Although... there was another way.
After 17 days of his repeated attempts, I finally answered the door.
"Ith!" Eldred cheered. "You... you really answered!"
"Yeah."
"So uh... Have you been doing alright?"
"I'm fine."
He looked over my shoulder. "Have... you not left the house?"
"Not yet."
"Jesus, Ithael..." He pulled me in for a hug, but I didn't react. "Do you, uh, need anything?"
"Could... you go to the market for me?"
He let go of me. "Yeah, of course! I'll... I'll be back!"
"Alright."
I slammed the door in his face. Just another echo of my old life, that's all he was... A few hours later, he knocked on the door again. I almost didn't answer, but then I remembered he had my groceries.
He exclaimed with clearly-forced optimism, "Heyyyy! Hope you've been alright! So, I was thinking, and... I was wondering if you wanted to do dinner together?"
"Not out there. Never out there. Here. Please."
"I figured you'd say that... so I got ingredients! I found this recipe for some pan-seared chicken in the library earlier, and it sounded really good!"
"...Alright." I took the bags from him and walked over to the kitchen. "Come inside."
"I, uh, was going to make it for you—"
"It's fine," I interjected.
I rummaged through the bags for the cookbook he talked about and flipped through the pages. It didn't look too difficult to make, but I wasn't sure how I knew that. This was the first time I had cooked anything, after all.
Assumedly hearing the pans clattering, Eldred wandered over to the counter, sitting down in a chair across from me. "Need a hand?"
"I'm alright."
"Are you sure? I mean, you were just—"
"Shut it," I commanded. I didn't mean to be so stern. What had come over me? I decided to brush it off. The recipe called for a diced onion... I needed a knife.
He slumped down in his seat. "Sorry... I, uh, got these books for you, by the way."
I glanced up from the cutting board. "...'Healing trauma: a guide for survivors'? And... 'How to cure amnesia'?" I scoffed. "If they could have fixed it, they would have, Eldred. It's incurable."
"We can't know until we try!" He strolled over into the kitchen, flipping to a bookmarked page. "See? This one here says—"
"It doesn't matter."
"Ithael... I'm here for you, man. I'm just trying to help—"
"And I don't care."
I focused myself back to the task at hand, ignoring his look of disdain. The room fell uncomfortably silent. I needed to fillet the chicken. I rummaged through the bags, trying to find—
"Seriously?" Eldred huffed. "I put in all of this work, and you just... don't care?"
"Never asked for it." Now, where was I? Right, chicken—
"That doesn't mean anything! Let me help you, you're clearly struggling!"
"I could manage without you." I continued to avoid eye-contact.
"Why are you so dead-set on pushing me out of your life?!"
"You were never in it to begin with, Eldred. I'm not the Ithael you knew."
"And who cares that you aren't?! Can't we still be friends?"
I tried to explain, "You're just a remnant of my past—"
"And that's an excuse to treat me like shit?! You know what?" He grabbed the books. "I'm done trying to fix you."
"Fix me?" I scoffed. "So I'm a problem, then? Something to be solved?—"
"You're twisting my words! Why... Why do you hate me?!"
"Face it: I'm a different person! Move on with your life, already!"
"What gives you the right to say that?!"
"Oh, what gives me the right?!" I waved the knife around a little too recklessly. "Were you just in a coma for two weeks? Did you just get thrown into a world that knows you better than yourself?! Where's your excuse, huh?!"
"...What do you want from me, Ithael?"
"I want you to get out of my life!"
Time slowed to a crawl as a deep pit formed in my stomach. I yanked my hand back like I'd touched a hot stove, and the knife... clattered to the floor. That look in his eyes... I'd never forget it. I had never seen a man so afraid before.
He grasped at his neck, his face turning pale as his hands soaked with blood. He fell to his knees, mouthing some words at me, but the only sound that came out was a sickening gurgle. He struggled to keep his balance as he fell flat on his face. His breathing grew labored and shaky as he lay there, a crimson puddle forming around his neck.
I knew that I should have gotten help, but, no matter how hard I tried, all I could do was watch. He cried onto the tiled ground, his breathing growing quieter and quieter, until he finally went silent.
What had I done?
...
It seems that he forgot to put any kind of warding spell on this newspaper clipping, as if he didn't expect anyone to get this far. Or perhaps he was too preoccupied with deceiving himself.
"As rumors regarding the disappearance of Eldred Wyndorn continue to circulate, the enigmatic Ithael Ralich opens a new therapist's office. In response to the whispers, Ithael states, 'There's a profound lack of support in this world, and every person could stand to have someone like Eldred by their side. I hope I can step up and fulfill a role he would have approved of.'
In other news, authorities are taking steps to curb the rising number of missing persons cases. Officials urge citizens to adhere to newly-instated curfew until the threat is solved, but claim there's nothing to worr—"
submitted by Ares378 to wizardposting [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 19:40 Dev_Void01 Can chatgpts upgraded Methuselah beat The Gman?

Methuselah
To make Methuselah, the ancient monster from the MonsterVerse, strong enough to beat Godzilla, we'll need to provide him with significant power-ups that fit within the context of the MonsterVerse. Here are some realistic enhancements:

1. Size and Strength Enhancement

2. Armor and Durability

3. Elemental Powers

4. Energy Absorption and Projection

5. Combat Abilities

6. Allies and Symbiosis

7. Ancient Mysticism

By combining these power-ups, Methuselah would become a formidable opponent capable of challenging Godzilla's dominance in the MonsterVerse. The enhancements should be balanced to maintain a realistic portrayal within the established lore of the MonsterVerse.
submitted by Dev_Void01 to Monsterverse [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 19:38 sadmanthrowaway93 all the “cis men” I date turn out to be transfemme. I’m struggling with it - help!

this is a weird one. title is a bit bait-y on purpose, and I do apologise for that, but it sort of gets the point across with the none of the nuance.
sooo, allow me to add that nuance! and I’m so sorry for how long it’s going to be. I’m autistic and naturally really annoyingly verbose, and I get caught up trying to add context where it’s not needed. but I’m also stressed about this and it makes me ramblier than usual!
I’m trans. specifically a trans man, though these days I’m so comfy in myself that I don’t really care how other people perceive or gender me. I’ve had top surgery, been on T for nearly 5 years, etc etc. got all the “trans credentials”.
I’m also bi. or pan or just queer, whatever. I’ve dated everyone. cis women, trans women, various flavours of enbies, trans men - and cis men, which is the topic of discussion here.
I will preface this by saying that I have no horse in the “is genital preference transphobic” race. I have 0 preference, I don’t care if other people do, but rest assured it isn’t relevant to my issue here.
but I’m sort of stumped, right, because… what IS my issue? I don’t actually understand what’s going on here.
over the past 10 or so years I’ve been out as not-cis, I’ve dated a lot of “cis men”. a striking number of them have come out as transfemme, either during our relationship, or soon after it. it’s become more noticeable recently because the past two occasions that I had serious feelings for partners who I believed were cis men, both of them came out to me while we were together. and now I’m experiencing some serious feelings for someone I’ve started seeing, and I’m noticing some familiar signs.
I’m an absolute magnet for a very specific niche of person, apparently, and I seem to be key in their realisation of - or their acceptance of - their trans identity. that’s super flattering, of course. and confusing, and often quite hilarious, but it’s also… a bit difficult for me. it brings up some strange feelings. I can think of ten people off the top of my head that I’ve had this happen with, though only a few have impacted me, as I was still with the person at the time of their realisation/admission.
I should be happy when these partners come out to me. not only are we welcoming another number to our secret lil club, but I’m also gaining something new to bond with them over, something to have in common. and I’m sure everyone here knows that being trusted with someone’s first coming-out is the biggest honour in the world. and I do feel and believe all of that, of course, and yet every time this happens there’s this voice in my head that’s like…
“I don’t want you to be trans. I like you as you are, and I thought that was as a man.”
I know how horrible that is. and I think it’s even more horrible that this time I feel like I can see it coming and I’m experiencing a weird kind of dread and a sense of impending loss. I’m ashamed that I’m capable of thinking like this, but I don’t know what to do about it.
why does this pattern keep repeating, and why does it invoke this weird reaction from me?
of course, it could just be straight-up transmisogyny. I’m certainly not operating under the false premise that I, in being trans, have somehow become immune to socially ingrained ideas around trans women and femmes. it could absolutely just be this simple. but I suppose I don’t really understand if it is, because these feelings seem to be specific to this one scenario. it doesn’t seem to be that I’m just not attracted to trans women specifically — I’ve dated and definitely been attracted to trans women in the past. (“passability” and other bullshit like that has nothing to do with it either, people are hot to me regardless of what their transition looks like, so someone being very early in their transition wouldn’t somehow be this huge turn-off.)
this leads me to assume that maybe I simply want to be dating a man, at that given moment, and don’t like that she is not in fact a man, and that things are going to change. and I don’t know why that is, or what sense that really makes, for a bi person. and maybe my brain has a hard time recontextualising someone when their identity shifts? and it becomes extra hard when they’re really close with me in an intimate sense? because I don’t recall having this issue with platonic relationships. I’ve never “wished” for a newly out friend to not be trans. I don’t know!!
then we get onto another topic, which might be the smoking gun, or it might just be a side issue. regardless, one thing I’ve definitely noticed is that there are often subtle shifts in dynamic in my relationships with these partners when they begin exploring their gender. firstly, although I’m sure it’s not an entirely conscious thing, I’ve found that things are suddenly more gendered than they used to be. in a relationship that was initially ostensibly between two men, but which never really had any kind of gender roles or gendered dynamics involved, there is this subtle shift — wherein as she begins to lean much more “feminine” in all areas, I am expected to begin play-acting as more “masculine” than I am. I’m “the boy in the relationship” now. it’s never been said in these words, but in things that are asked of me within our relationship. and I understand her desire to do things differently in an effort to find what’s authentic to her new presentation and experience - but I suppose the problem for me is that I have always been authentic in our dynamic. I don’t want to alter the way I perform my gender in this relationship, I was comfortable with the way it was established. sure, I am a boy, but I have no interest in being boxed into gendered expectations that were not present before her transition. I wouldn’t want to be like that with a cis woman, or anyone else. I don’t like gender roles. but if someone I’m dating tells me that these changes would make them happier and more comfortable, why the fuck would I have an issue with that? it feels gross and selfish.
but then it gets even grosser and more selfish, because I think there might be an element of resentment present in the emotional labour that’s required to be the knowledgeable trans partner of a newly-out (or even closeted) trans person. I’ve felt myself become a guide and a therapist (or like a “transition mentor” lol) for my partner in the past, and I’ve really not liked that. especially in the last instance of this happening, wherein the relationship came to an abrupt and nasty end thanks to this new and confusing therapy-type dynamic.
I love being trusted with such important stuff and I love talking about gender, but there’s something I find very difficult about being this kind of support for a romantic partner.
so after all of this soul-searching, I’m still sort of just… stuck? what do I do with any of this? what do I change? why does this keep happening and how do I handle it better when it does? I don’t know. I’d really appreciate some discussion from fellow trans folks, or partners of trans folks. has anyone experienced anything similar? do you have any advice or suggestions for me? please be kind, I’m really trying to figure this out.
I know this is really really long and rambly and I do apologise for that, it’s even worse than I initially intended! thank you so much for reading (and even replying, if you do) as it means a lot!
TLDR: I’m a trans man who has weird complicated feelings about being a magnet for closeted transfemmes. I don’t know how to navigate this and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings!
submitted by sadmanthrowaway93 to asktransgender [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 19:36 icedancer333_ Does HRT prevent male pattern baldness?

I'm 16 and closeted MTF. I hope to start HRT ASAP (hopefully around 18) after coming out to my family which I plan on doing at some point very soon. I'm shit scared of male pattern baldness. I've got pretty long hair and I've been wearing it up recently because I love how femme it makes me look, but my dad's been warning me that it'll make me go bald quicker when I'm older because it'll pull my roots out which I really don't want. He's also said something about how my hair is being pulled out of my head because of its weight (???) and I need a haircut, which would be my first proper haircut in nearly a year and a half (I've trimmed my fringe but other than that nothing has touched my hair since January of 2023). Does HRT prevent hair loss? Because I was already worried about MPD and what my dad is saying it worrying me about hair loss even more.
submitted by icedancer333_ to MtF [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 19:33 Mr_witty_name Everything Dies; Volume 1, issue 1; Summer in New York (illustration by one of my players)

Everything Dies; Volume 1, issue 1; Summer in New York (illustration by one of my players)
Last night we played the first session of Everything Dies and, since I've been taking about it so much on here, I thought I might recap it here for my sake and for anyone whose interested.
Our Heroes
Coriolis: storm chaser whose high tech armor allows him limited control of the weather
Gamble: cat burglar armed with trick cards. Thought he was learning card tricks when he was being trained as a sorcerer
Zap-Daddy: just got average blue collar mutant trying to do what's right without revealing his identity
Bear Man Bear: he's not a man that turns into a bear, he's a bear that turns into a man.
The story;
The earth is getting hotter. Today specifically the sub burns and boils the sweaty sticking masses. It's swealterinh, it's smelly, it's miserable. It's summer in New York. Out on Coney Island a well suited man is running across the beach, arms overflowing with cash he stole off a man he lost a bet too. Throwing down a playing card, he disappears in a puff of smoke. Out on the beach, a raggedy man hauls complicated technological equipment. He knows a storm is coming, even if no one will believe him. He walks past a burly middle aged man fighting with a hot dog vendor. The man is scarfing down food but won't pay, apparently he's unfamiliar with the concept. All the while high winds threaten to tip over the Viking boat ride. There's a worker who leaves his friends to try and stabilize the ride. Before he has to change forms though, others come to assist.
The worker, Zap-Daddy, moved back to his friends after a small applause. He's at the boardwalk today with his "friend" from work, Chuck, and chuck's girlfriend. Together they talk for a bit about how the news says The Avengers, The X Men, The Fantastic 4, even Spider-Man they're all out of town. But hey, as long as the punisher's still around Chuck feels safe. Zap-Daddy ignores him when he's approached by a man in Green coveralls and rubber gloves/boots. He some kind of janitor who wants to talk to this average guy who was just so heroic. The man ask about his life, if he ever feels things are "off", what he would do if he could change one thing in the universe. The longer they talk, the more zap-daddy realizes the world around him as stopped moving. The janitor leaves as soon as ZD gets suspicious. He says it's nice to talk to somebody, that the only name he remembers is M.M., and that Zap-Daddy should try and get somewhere high up. And the world starts back up again. Meanwhile Bear Man Bear has accidently knocked out the hot dog vendor. Putting some distance between himself and the kart, he finds himself at a beach party. But quickly he realizes he's the but if the joke and yet again, this time after failing to understand Volleyball, he's hurt another person without meaning to. Under the boardwalk Gamble is hiding out when he crosses by the old(ish) man who taught him magic; an eccentric dower man named Wynn. Wynn is under the walk with a friend of his, Dimitri, and he claims to be there on work. Despite his usual demeanor, Wynn is happy to see Gamble. He's trying to see if Gamble can figure out why Wynn and Dimitri are here, but it's no use. Suspicion grows as Gamble attempts to read Dimitri's mind but finds himself unable to. Wynn takes off to see his ex wife but not before stopping to pick up a penny. A penny with, not Abraham Lincoln on the front, but John Wilkes Booth. Flabbergasted, Gamble uses his ESP to try and find nearby sources of magic. He gets crazy readings off of Wynn and Dimitri, as well as 3 people near the beach who have been singled out by something he can't determine. On the opposite end of the beach Coriolis is attempting to explain his equipment to a lifeguard when he's approached by an old rival. A butch lady named Gloria whose just in town to convince the judge that her ex, Janet, doesn't really need all this restraining order crap. She makes fun of him for these supposed "green tornados" he's been seeing, but Coriolis isn't paying attention. He's too focused on the odd readings he's getting from way out in the ocean. Crazy barometric pressure, but no abnormal air pressure in the higher atmosphere. Something is messing with things purposefully and outside the regular laws of nature.
As Zap-Daddy leaves he sees the mutant fashion designer Jumbo Carnation out on the street. He has to stop Chuck from doing something heinous. He cuts off his friendship with the man and finds somewhere private to change into his electric form. Taking to the sky, he scans the horizon trying to find whatever danger M.M. had eluded to. All he can see are crowds of people, loved ones, strangers, each of them a single aspect of a larger super organism. Soon he turns his eye to the tide, relaxing as he watches it come in and out and in and out and in and out and out and out and out and out and out. Soon he can see the very floor of the sea. Gamble watches from below the boardwalk as people flee, leaving their belongings behind. Coriolis changes into his armor and Bear Man Bear hears people screaming. There's a new word on their lips, one he hasn't heard before: tsunami.
A 120 foot wave is approaching from the ocean. There's one building on Coney Island, a luxury apartment building, that's high enough to get above the wave and there's two land masses, part of New York State, that the wave will have to pass before it gets to the shore. Gamble made his way to the parking lot where he hot wired a motorcycle to try and make it to the building. The workers on the boardwalk abandoned their posts, leaving two people at the top of the Ferris wheel and the cyclone full of riders. Zap-Daddy took it on himself to save him. Knowing he could only take two at a time, it was inevitable that the wave would hit before he got them all to safety. Bear Man Bear took two children on his back and reunited them with their mother before taking off for safety. Coriolis went out to face the wave itself. He created a wind storm to try and slow the tidal wave, saving one of the land masses and effectively cutting it down to half it's previous size. But in doing so he discovered, with infrared vision, some mammoth warm blooded creature below the water.
As people panicked, an elevated train jumped off the tracks, it's wheels still sparking electric death. BUT as the wave was smaller now, shorter buildings became more viable safe havens. Gamble was able to save scores of people by unlocking a nearby office building with one of his trick cards. It also gave Bear Man Bear a place to take the unconscious taxi driver he had saved from a car crash. Zap-Daddy had figured out how to carry four people at a time instead of two, but it would still leave two people on the cyclone he couldn't save. While all this was happening Coriolis made a call to The Avengers Tower, they sent the only two people left in the city; Captain America and The Wasp. Seconds before the wave hit the shore, Coriolis saved the last two people on the cyclone and Zap Daddy distributed the electrical circuits of the train, stopping the imminent threat. He also happened to find Chuck, pinned beneath rubble, calling for help. He knocked Chuck out before carrying him to safety, barely missing the wall of water as it obliterated the boardwalk. Bear Man Bear was still bringing an old man up the stairs as water poured in. He was able to get the old man behind an elemental wall that Coriolis had constructed, which saved the civilians. Yet the force of the wave knocked Coriolis out of the sky. With Zap-Daddy high in the sky, Coriolis falling out of it, Captain America and The Wasp arriving on the scene, and Gamble and Bear Man Bear on the roof with the majority of the people, the street of New York lay flooded.
Soon the very ground shook as a massive beast emerged from the waters. On its back stood blue men in Aztec garb, armed with extraordinary weapons. Their leader, the man who held the reigns of the beast, blew his war horn and called out "Giganto! Advance! Atlanteans! Kill any surface dweller you may find! For the glory of Namor! For the glory of The Seas! So commands Attuma!"
While captain America and The Wasp spent most of their time leaping from rooftop to rooftop, our Heroes started at the crux of the battle. Zap-Daddy and Coriolis focused their efforts on Giganto while Gamble and BMB made it their mission to protect the civilians from the Atlantean soldiers. As a great lightning storm sprung forth from Coriolis' armor, they were able to stop the monster inches before it could get to any people. Tho Gamble and Bear Man Bear were dealing with the soldiers on the roof, they were quickly overwhelmed by the soldiers firing from atop the unconscious monster. As Attuma cast Captain America into the sea, the Wasp attempted to help with the soldiers. The heavy hitters could focus their fire now on Attuma, at least until he jumped into the water and started to heal. As Coriolis was looking for him under the sea, he figured out Attuma must be cold blooded so, in a stroke of genius, he simply flooded the water. Attuma was able to break out of the ice, but it was too late. His heart rate has slowed too much. As Attuma fell unconscious, he began to change. His skin shifted from a light blue hue to a deep green, his eyes changed to a horrid yellow look, his ears grew long and pointed, and his single chin split into four. There atop the frozen waters of a New York heat wave, lay a dying skrull.
submitted by Mr_witty_name to MarvelMultiverseRPG [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 19:32 Nosybones Have to get this out of my system

This will be wordy and complicated so you may only wish to read it if you’ve found yourself as inexplicably captivated by this entire mess as I am. This is my current working theory, and I don’t claim that it’s entirely accurate or factual It’s just my theory and I am open to corrections, additions, or counter arguments. (No, I am not overly proud of how I know some of these things. I reactivated Instagram and rejoined Reddit after years of abstaining from social media just to further this little investigation/obsession. Hyperfixation is a real bitch sometimes.)
Taylor’s team would’ve been aware of her impending breakup with Joe and relationship with Matty Healy long before those things were public knowledge. With the Eras tour set to start up in March of 2023, her team would’ve been actively, aggressively plotting to address any potential negativity or fallout from the situation, especially with so much riding on this tour. Preemptive damage control would’ve been in absolute overdrive because of the timing of it all. Speaking of timing, the early months of 2023 were a big moment for Travis Kelce. The Kelce brothers were about to face off in the Super Bowl and the media was saturated with them. All the Kelces have mentioned the attention and opportunities they were receiving during that time, including Donna. Scott Swift is a huge football fan, especially of the Eagles, and he was already at least acquainted with or had a casual friendship with Andy Reid. It's very likely that Taylor "dating" Travis Kelce was Scott Swift’s idea. During my “research” on this entire situation, I’ve come across multiple remarks about Taylor’s team traveling to/having meetings in KC in March of 2023. I am guessing that Taylor was so in love with Matty that she put her foot down with her team (including Scott) and wouldn’t participate in their plans regarding Travis at that time. Instead, she likely insisted on the April 8th announcement of the breakup with Joe and doubled down on her relationship with Matty, mouthing loving messages to him and making her speech on stage about how happy she was and how her life finally made sense, being seen with him repeatedly and allowing him to be seen carrying bags into her apartment, etc.
I don’t know if Taylor or her team anticipated exactly how bad the publicity surrounding Matty would be or how intensely negative the response would be from a very vocal portion of her fanbase. I feel like most of us know about the narratives that ramped up against Matty, the SpeakUpNow letter, Swifties threatening to sell their concert tickets, Matty and his people receiving death threats, just all the BAD MESS, so I won’t make this even longer by going too deep into it. I have no doubt Taylor and Matty were experiencing a ton of pressure and emotional whiplash during all of that, which ultimately led to a painful and traumatic breakup for them. And that brings us right back to the suspended Travis Kelce plan. Taylor had shows in KC on July 7th and 8th of 2023. A couple weeks after that we get the cute little story from Travis on his podcast about trying to give Taylor a friendship bracelet with his number on it at her show (I have never and will never believe that bs for a single moment, no matter what). According to them, they start hanging out shortly after that, which is likely true. Ryan Reynolds apparently started following Travis on Instagram in early August so that timing checks out. (I could go off into a whole thing about Travis Kelce and Patrick Mahomes joining Ryan in the F1 Alpine deal, but this is already just SO MUCH). Next thing you know, we get Taylor appearing at a Chiefs game on September 24th and it’s on from there. According to some Chiefs players, Taylor had already attended a game or two unnoticed and unmentioned (supposedly in the owners’ suite) prior to that September 24th game. That’s interesting to note because of all it implies, such as how much the Chiefs/Hunts may have had to do with this whole deal between Taylor and Travis or just how it was clearly a choice with big motivations behind it for her to be seen at that 9/24 game.
Everything then goes AS PLANNED AND ORCHESTRATED for a few months. The public is captivated by the Taylor and Travis showmance and not even thinking much about Joe Alwyn or Matty Healy or any of the negative publicity surrounding Taylor anymore, the Chiefs and the entire NFL are profiting enormously, the popularity of the New Heights podcast is skyrocketing and catching the attention of major networks, every member of the Kelce family and Travis’ inner circle sees their public profile rising and more and more opportunities coming their way, the Eras tour is a history making success and so is the movie, the Chiefs pull off another Super Bowl win…it’s just a glorious, fantastic time when the whole plan is coming together and everyone remotely involved or connected to Taylor and Travis is benefiting and profiting beyond their wildest dreams. During all of this, Taylor is obviously working on TTPD, and everything connected to it, but I guess no one on Taylor’s team is too concerned about that because it keeps her motivated and pacified and it’s only going to make them all even more money so everything is just great, great, great. BUT THEN Taylor shows up at the Grammys drunk, making an ass of herself and announces the release. Now everyone is maybe back to thinking and talking about Taylor and Joe a bit, but it’s still ok because at least they aren’t talking about Matty and the Taylor and Travis show is still getting tons of attention, Travis is getting acting opportunities, all the Kelces are still benefiting in various ways; it’s all still good.
Then TTPD is released, and everything starts to take a turn. People are still talking, but now it’s mostly about Taylor and Matty or about Taylor and Travis, but only about what a great boyfriend Travis is to Taylor and what a perfect couple they are and their hypothetical impending nuptials and future potential offspring, etc. It probably doesn’t help that it’s off-season and there are no Chiefs games where Travis can shine with his football skills to try to bring some of the spotlight back to anything other than him maybe being the future Mr. Taylor Swift. Despite what many Swifties theorize about Travis, I do not for one moment think that’s his aim in life. This man wants FAME. His own mother repeatedly states how much he loves being the center of attention. And sure, he gets a lot of attention right now, but I have a feeling this is not panning out to be what he was hoping for when he signed up for all of this. His podcast is doing great, but its enormous surge in popularity is largely due to Swifties tuning in, hoping to hear a mention of Taylor (yes, I know it was already a very popular podcast – we wouldn’t be here if Travis Kelce had been an unsuccessful nobody, obviously). Everywhere he goes, everything he does, it’s all about Taylor now. Even at KELCE Jam, he was inundated with questions about Taylor. That might not be an issue except this is a man who already had a very big ego and desire to be hyper famous before Taylor Swift entered the picture. It may have seemed like a golden opportunity initially, but I think reality may be setting in for Travis and Co. and this may not have been the best deal for them in the long run. But the Chiefs and the NFL are deep into it now as well and l bet Travis has pressures on him that I would not even want to imagine coming from that side.
Meanwhile we have Taylor out here messing up the plans again, sending secret messages and singing surprise songs to Matty Healy during her sold-out concert tour where she’s added an entire set to imitate Matty and heighten the speculation and discussion surrounding their big “cosmic, tortured romance.” I feel sure she’s still in love with Matty and is absolutely in contact with him. Logically, their friendships and professional circles are far too intertwined for me to believe they would not be in any form of contact throughout all of this. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if they were already back together. I think it’s highly possible they’ve even been back together since shortly after their breakup last summer and that likely helped fuel the big push to launch the “relationship” between her and Travis the world. That’s another post for another time though and I still haven’t fully drawn my conclusions about that. Very long story short, I think they are all in a great big mess right now and things are taking a toll, and cracks are showing. I think this may all come crashing down around a lot of people very soon, but I’m betting Taylor Swift comes out on top no matter what somehow. Some people are just lucky like that.
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2024.05.21 19:31 Valha28 EWW: The Bros

EWW: The Bros
Hello and welcome to episode 98 in a series inspired by u/kamikazeb0y and CinemaSins, where I'll be sinning each and every episode of Gumball.
Quick Disclaimer: I know this is just a children's cartoon and isn't meant to be taken seriously. This, like the show itself, is not at all meant to be taken seriously or considered an actual critique of the show. It is all in good fun. With that out of the way I present you, Everything Wrong With: The Burden!
Gumball: Cossack dance, but there's a problem with it. Darwin: What? [Gumball gets off of his seat, and dances. He repeatedly kicks himself in the face as he does so] I'm...surprised Gumball actually knows the name of this dance. Seems unlike him to care enough to have actually researched the actual name of it. Would have been way more like him to just call it something like "the dance where you fold your arms and kick your legs" or something. But kudos to him for actually going out of his way to learn about something for once, I guess! -1
[Darwin makes an old man face. They laugh again. The bus stops, and Penny gets off] Penny: Thanks! [Gumball sees Penny, and they stare at each other affectionately] Darwin: [Off-screen] And what's your best party trick? [Gumball sticks his finger into a nostril and it comes out through his ear. He wiggles it around, flapping his ear in the process. Penny giggles and walks off] Awwwww, i love that they re-used a snippet of the soundtrack from the iconic scene in The Shell here. I guess that makes that track the official theme of Gumball and Penny's relationship? Hell yeah! -5
Gumball: So, who would you invite? Darwin: Never you mind! Gumball: Oh, come on! Tell me! Darwin: [Blushes] No, you first! Gumball: Oh, fine. [Sing-song voice] But you gotta say yours at the same time. On three. One. Two. Three. Gumball: Penny! Darwin: You! That...was nowhere near the same time +1
[They are both surprised. Darwin is angry and Gumball is shocked] Gumball and Darwin: What?! [The bus stops, and the brothers get off] Darwin: I AM NOT MAKING A SCENE! Gumball: Okay. Darwin: AND I'M NOT JEALOUS OF PENNY! Gumball: Dude, don't freak out. There's enough space in my life for the both of you. [Many Darwins appear around Gumball, crowding him] Darwin: She's crowding us! Darwin: She's suffocating us! Darwin: She's oppressing us! Darwin: She's smothering us! [They all speak at once, disappearing as Gumball interjects] Gumball: Okay, enough! I wanted your opinion on something important, but if it's gonna be like this, then just go home! I need to go to the store anyway. [Walks off] [Darwin's anger turns into sadness, and he begins to sob. Suddenly, he becomes angry again] Darwin: BACK OFF, PENNY FITZGERALD! HE'S MY BROTHER FROM ANOTHER MOTHER! Alright...firstly, was Darwin seriously expecting Gumball to say anyone else than Penny? I mean, he made it extremely obvious that he was imagining this as a romantic get-together, so of course he was gonna pick her +1
Also, what happened to Darwin talking to 'Chris Morris' and working out his issues with Gumball and Penny last episode? Like, he realized he was just overeacting and projecting his own insecurities onto Gumball and that he had nothing to be concerned about. Yet now he's discarded all of that and has gone back to being not only acting like he was before, but even worse. Which begs the question...why include that scene in the last ep if you were just gonna completely ignore it the very next episode? +10
[Darwin stretches his eyes and navigates them around Penny. They watch her from above. Penny soon notices them] Penny: Oh hi, Darwin. Hahahahaha, I love how totally unphased Penny is by this -1
[Later, Penny and Carmen enter the cheerleaders' dressing room, talking] Penny: ...made these funny faces at me through the window of the bus and— Oh, hi Darwin. [All the girls except Penny and Carmen gasp at Darwin, who is up in the ceiling, holding onto two beams. He falls down, runs to an open locker, and applies makeup on his face in an attempt to disguise himself as a girl. Certain that it is not working, he grabs a bottle of powder from Carrie and throws it to the ground, where it explodes into a cloud. As the girls cough, he escapes] Penny: [Coughing] Bye, Darwin. [Even later, Sussie and Penny are sitting on a bench in the schoolyard. From behind a dumpster, Darwin uses a listening device to eavesdrop on Penny] Penny: Here, Sussie. I know how much you love chicken skin, so I saved some from last night's dinner. Sussie: SUSSIE LOVES CHICKEN SKIN! [She grabs some and rubs it all over her head, screaming and laughing loudly. The noise makes Darwin shatter to pieces. Penny and Sussie notice him and walk over] Penny: Hi, Darwin. [The pieces of Darwin scream, sprout legs, and flee] Penny: Aaaand... bye, Darwin. Sussie: CHICKEN! [Penny yelps, startled] [The bell rings. In class, Penny writes on a piece of paper while humming. She grabs her bag to put a book in it. Opening it, she gets startled to find Darwin inside, reading her diary] Darwin: Hi, Penny. Nice, um... diary. Penny: Hey, how about you come to lunch with me and Gumball, seems like maybe you wanna talk, right? [Closes bag with him still inside] Right. [Walks off] Okay, trying to peak into her locker was one thing, but now Darwin is just outright stalking the poor guy. Even with abandonment issues, this is not a normal reaction or response. At all. Darwin needs professional help/therapy now, because he clearly has a lot of pent up emotions and fears he needs to talk to someone about. +20
[In the cafeteria, Gumball has arranged a table for Penny and himself. He takes out a small box, which inside holds a ring. He plans to propose to Penny, but is still deciding on how] How on earth did he affort this ring? It must have cost at least a hundred dollars or more! +1
Penny: So, uh, Darwin, I hope you don't feel... threatened by me, do you? Darwin: [Laughs loudly and sarcastically] No. Penny: Okay, good. Enjoy your food.[They all begin eating. Gumball and Penny share a plate of spaghetti and begin eating the same strand. Romantic music is playing, and a kiss is imminent. The moment is cut short when it is revealed Darwin has started eating the middle of the strand, preventing the couple from kissing. They tug on the spaghetti strand trying to shake Darwin off, but it only causes all three of them to headbutt eachother. They all fall to the floor] Gumball: [Shouting] Dude, what is wrong with you?! Darwin is clearly emotionally distressed at the moment, yet neither Gumball or Penny really do much about it except ask if he's okay or in Gumball's case yell at him. I get that Gumball is excited and happy with Penny at the moment and so his focus would be on her, but it feels out of character for him to disregard his brother so clearly having, essentially, a breakdown right in front of him +5
[In the gym, Coach tries and fails to whistle with her fingers] Coach Russo: Okay, now pick your teams! [Gumball and Tobias start picking, with Gumball choosing first] Wait, wait, wait...Gumball has a pair of gym shoes? He's had a pair of shoes that he could have worn this entire time, but he still chooses to go barefoot? Why!? +1
[Darwin tries to get Gumball to pick him by blowing a vuvuzela and waving around two lit flares, all while jumping up and down] How the fuck was Darwin allowed to bring lit flares into the gym!? Not only is that a safety hazard, but I'm pretty sure it's illegal for him to even be in possession of them. +1
Also, how did he even get the flares in the first place? Again, pretty sure it's illegal for him to buy or own them +1
Gumball: DARWIN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! Darwin: [Throws the ball at Gumball] Playing ball!Gumball: She's on our team, man! You're out! Seriously, Gumball responding to Darwin's actions by shouting and berating him, and constantly taking Penny's side, is only pushing Darwin more and more. Whewre's the kind, caring, understanding Gumball we know and love? The one that would be worried and concerned seeing his brother act this way? +1
[In the library, Gumball once again tries to propose to Penny. He emerges from behind a bookcase and walks up to her] Gumball: Penny, there's something I need to ask you. Penny: Actually, there's something I wanted to say as well. Gumball: I know. I totally feel what you feel. Let's say it at the same time. One. Two- Penny: We need some space. [Gumball gasps and makes a shocked face] Penny: It's just... until you guys work it out, I kinda feel bad ruining your relationship. You two have something special, you know. The fact Penny is willing to do this really shows just how caring and understanding she really is. She finally has the one thing shw's wanted for who knows how longer, and couldn't bne happier, but upon seeing that it's damaging Gumball and Darwin's relationship is willing to put it on hold until they sort things out. She's willing to put her own happiness aside for her boyfriend and his brother, and that level of sacrifice just goes to show what a great friend and girlfriend she really is. No wonder Gumball loves her so much -10
Gumball: Ugh. What are you doing? Darwin: Whatever it takes for you to still love me. Is it working? Gumball: If by working, you mean making me nauseous then- [Gags, then cries] But it doesn't matter anyway. Penny's left me! She didn't want to come between us, and it's all your fault! [Faceplants and sobs] No, 'we need space' and 'we're over' and two very different things. She didn't leave you she's just...taking a short vacation from you whilst you sort things out with Darwin +1
Darwin: Uh...I didn't mean to come between you two. I-I-I just wanted to spend more time with you. I'm so sorry. Come here- I mean, you kindaaaaa did. Maybe not consciously, sure, but deep down this is exactly what you wanted and you know it +1
Gumball: Is it weird that I bought a ring and I want to ask her to marry me? Darwin: Well, yeah. That's-that's completely weird. ...no it isn't? It's just Gumball wanting to express his love and desire to be with Penny in the biggest way he can think of. If anything it's adorable +1
Darwin: No, it's not. What if I could give you the perfect setting, the perfect moment? Gumball: What do you mean? [Darwin begins dancing and imitating R&B music] Gumball: Stop it. That...that's weird. Darwin: Mm mm. Come on. Gumball: [Snickers] All right. [Joins in dancing with him] How are you gonna get a log cabin though? Or a lake? Or a chocolate fountain? And how are you gonna get her to come over? Aww, the fact Gumball forgives Darwin so easily for almost ending his and Penny's relationship really shows just how forgiving and caring he is. Like, the fact he isn't even remotely mad anymore in just beyond insane. I don't know anyone else in the world except maybe Alan who is this forgiving -5
[Penny leans down in front of a puddle of antifreeze in front of the shed, sniffing it] Penny: Are your parents aware there's a lake of antifreeze in their backyard? This stuff's really flammable, you know Obvious foreshadowing is obvious +1
Gumball: "Romantic deep male voice. [Speaks in the voice] Welcome to the best night of your life." [Squeaks] [Penny suppresses her laughter] Awwwwww -1
Gumball: [Whispering] Okay. [Inhales] Will you mmmmm... will you mmmm... [Punches himself in the face, frustrated] Urgh! Will you mmm... Darwin: [Outside] Come on man, just say it! Dude, he's nervous as fuck at the moment. You would be too if it were you asking this to Carrie. Give him a fucking chance +1
[Penny drinks her soda and chokes on the ring, changing forms as she coughs] Penny somehow didn't notice Gumball very obviously dropping the ring into her drink earlier +1
[Gumball now has his eyes closed, and so is unaware that she is choking.] I get that he can't see her choking, but how can her not hear it? She's right next to him and pretty loudly choking right. And he's a cat with super sensitive hearing. The only way he wouldn't be able to hear her at the moment is if he was completely deaf +1
[Darwin barges into the shed only to be greeted by Penny in her Gorgon form. He quickly closes the door] Dude, she's fucking choking why on earth would you just leave!? HELP HER. +1
Penny: [Coughing] What did you say back there? Gumball: [Picks up the ring and beams, with flowers surrounding his face] Marry me! And suddenly Gumball now has the confidence to ask her this despite being entirely unable to do so before +1
Gumball: [Teary-eyed] Age doesn't matter when it comes to love.
https://i.redd.it/epm6oyymet1d1.gif
+1
Penny: ...and Gumball. Do you, in the name of the bro-code, bromise to always love and take care of your bro in sickness and in health, brosperity and broverty? Gumball: I do. [Puts ring on Darwin's fin] Penny: You may now high-five the bro. Gumball and Darwin: [High five] Yeah! Okay, this is cute and all and definetely helps reassure and caslm down Darwin, but...your still gonna sit down and talk to him about his issues right? Maybe get him a therapist, that isn't Harold, to talk to about his issues? ...right?
...no? You're...just gonna never speak of this again and leave him to continue suffering silently with these severe abandonment issues all on his own? Okay then. +50
Total Sins: 79
Most Sinned Episode So Far: The Hero (1,490,894) Least Sinned Episode: The Shell (-999, 958)
Previous Episode: https://www.reddit.com/gumball/comments/1co8fu7/eww_the_burden/
submitted by Valha28 to gumball [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 19:31 Natural_Subject9439 Need advice + am I valid in feeling this way?

Long post ahead so bear with me.
I’m 24F dating my 24M boyfriend for 4 years. Overall I’d say our relationship has been pretty good - no serious issues until now, all of our fights have been over his tendency to be moody or passive aggressive.
Some background information: I’m on the neurodivergent spectrum and suffer from depressive episodes, but I’m high functioning because I don’t want it to affect my professional life or anyone else but me. A side effect of that has been my tendency to isolate myself from everyone, which I’ve done for the majority of our relationship - sometimes I didn’t interact with anyone at all except for my family and my bf. I haven’t gone a single day in the last 6 years without any contact with him.
I realized that this wasn’t healthy so this year I decided to try and come out of my shell and build more friendships. It’s a bit hard but I’ve been working on it slowly, and one of my newfound friends was one of my bf’s friends, J (23M), as well - they had been friends for about a year at this point. We hit it off pretty well and as someone who’s really bad at friendships I enjoyed talking to J, but it was strictly platonic - nothing out of the ordinary, exactly like every friendship I have/have ever had. Please keep in mind I did not prioritize interactions I had with J or anyone else over ones I had with my bf.
While my bf initially really liked J, around the time we started becoming friends he started to sour on J until he eventually just started icing him because he didn’t like anything about him all of a sudden, and the only reason he could come up with was “J was annoying.” He also told me he found it “weird” that he chose to be friends with his friend’s gf (confused about that one because I met some of my closest friends through him/his circles). I reassure him that there’s nothing weird going on and my friendship with J is, once again, platonic. In all honesty, I also didn’t really think much of it because I didn’t find J to be annoying and my bf has had a pattern of disliking some of my friends for no apparent reason, even if he’d never talked to them. (My friends are all just goofy nerds so I never really got why.)
3 weeks ago my bf tells me he thinks J is trying to sleep with me but he has no evidence or thoughts to support this. I’m obviously shocked and once again reassure him that I’ve never picked up sleazy vibes from J and he’s never been inappropriate with me. I’ve had really creepy encounters before so I’m always hyperalert about these kinds of things and if I do get those vibes I shut them down immediately.
Onto the main clown show: last week my bf texts me angry that I’ve been lying to him and that I’ve been repeatedly gaslighting him into thinking my friendship with J was normal, but after a conversation with one of his other friends he’s convinced that he’s right and it’s inappropriate for J to be friends with me. Then he goes ahead and texts J to stop texting me and accuses him, amongst other things, of being a creep. To the surprise of absolutely no one, turns out this scenario that my bf created of J secretly trying to steal me away from him was completely false and J is both hurt and pissed about it. He tells him that he’s only ever thought of him as a good friend and he never had ill intentions towards me but he cannot in good conscience be ok with this and subsequently cuts both of us off.
For obvious reasons, I’m extremely pissed about this and we have a blowout fight over it, because turns out I don’t like anyone messing with my friendships like that and falsely accusing someone who’s done nothing wrong to you of being a creep is a shitty thing to do. He genuinely didn’t see anything wrong about what he did and “he did what he had to because he was desperate to get J out of my life and I left him no other choice.” He also told me that if he woke up to find out I did something to cause his friends to cut him off, he’d assume I had a good reason to do so and everything that happened with J was for the best. He screamed at me, accused me of being disrespectful and thinking of him as an insecure loser, called me a whole slew of hurtful things, that I’m disgusting and make him feel worthless and that he fucking hates me repeatedly. It overall just turned into a really ugly mess.
The next morning he was calmer and apologized for the hurtful things he said and that he didn’t mean any of it. He also admitted what he did was wrong, that he overreacted out of paranoia, and that he’s sorry he hurt J and ruined my friendship with him. He admitted that I was right, there wasn’t anything weird going on like he thought and he apologized for messing with my personal life.
The issue is I’m having a hard time processing all of this. First of all this couldn’t have happened at a worse time because I have a lot of personal issues going on that I’m incredibly stressed out about and he’s well aware of that. He’s also aware that I’ve always struggled with making friends, and now any urge I’ve had to do that is gone. I can’t get over him saying I make him feel worthless because I’ve dedicated so much and sacrificed so much to be with him and make him happy every way I could. I’ve never and still don’t prioritize anyone else over him. Having your boyfriend of nearly 5 years tell you he doesn’t trust you and despises you is also pretty fucking shitty because I’ve never done anything distrustful or been anywhere near as hurtful as he has been to me. His apologies sound hollow and lukewarm to me because at the end of the day, he got exactly what he wanted. And I’m left to suck it up and deal with it.
I don’t know what to do and I feel like I’m alone backed into a corner and I’m about to break with all the other things going on in my life. I’m sorry if this post isn’t very coherent but I’m a little tipsy right now. I just feel so violated and I’ve never felt more horrible or alone in my life than I do now and I’ve never not felt like that my entire life. I don’t know and can’t tell if I’m the one who messed up here and what I should do. Any advice, harsh or gentle is appreciated.
TLDR: bf incorrectly assumed mutual friend was trying to sleep with me and subsequently went nuclear on both me and friend. Am hurt and don’t know how or if I should resolve this.
submitted by Natural_Subject9439 to relationships [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 19:28 bravegaby97 The Circular Fashion Movement: How Recycled Leather is Transforming the Industry

Hey everyone,
I wanted to dive into a topic that's gaining a lot of traction in the fashion industry: the circular fashion movement and how recycled leather is playing a pivotal role in this transformation. As we strive towards more sustainable and ethical practices, the use of recycled leather is not only minimizing environmental impact but also promoting a circular economy. Let’s explore how recycled leather is making waves in the fashion world and its potential to drive significant change.
1. Reducing Waste
2. Conserving Resources
3. Ethical Production Practices
4. Innovation in Design
5. Consumer Awareness and Demand
submitted by bravegaby97 to u/bravegaby97 [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 19:26 MWBartko Considerations on Sexual Immorality, Gender Identity, and my friends Non-Denominational Church.

Considerations on Sexual Immorality, Gender Identity, and my friends Non-Denominational Church.
A good friend of mine from a fairly conservative evangelical background is considering becoming a pastor at his non-denominational church. As part of the evaluation process, they asked him to write a paper on these topics that he is not an expert on.
He asked for my opinion and I offered to share it online to solicit constructive criticism, notes of encouragement, and or reading recommendations on these topics.
I believe his goal is to be faithful to the scriptures, loving to those outside the church, and challenging to those inside the church, as most of us could do better.
What he wrote is in the quotation marks below.
“1: Scope of the Issue
Sexual immorality has become a besetting and ubiquitous issue in our culture and in our churches. While many aspects of it are not novel or unique to this time and have clear scriptural input, there are others that bring challenges to our church for which we don’t have obvious precedent. The main point of these comments is to try and answer three questions with some degree of specificity: (1) how do we make ourselves a place where people who do not know Christ will feel welcome to come and learn of Him regardless of where they come from, (2) how do we pastorally care for people who have come in to the church with pre-existing circumstances related to sexual immorality, and (3) how do we equip our members to represent Christ to those in their lives that are dealing with these issues. We want to do this in a way that does not “walk a tight rope” or compromise to appease, but honors Scripture in its commands to both show compassion and exhort and correct. We must recognize that every individual circumstance is unique, and many will require careful and prayerful consideration, but this is meant to give a framework for that consideration.
2: Scriptural Basis for Corporate Response
There are many references we can point to that discuss and define sexual immorality throughout Scripture and many of these will be used below as we consider specific examples and situations. Let us start, however, by looking at passages that deal with corporate response rather than individual sin. It is clear that the Corinthian church had significant issues in this area, and much of Paul’s first letter was devoted to it. In chapter 5, Paul states that when sexual immorality is discovered in the church we should “mourn” over it and “not to associate with immoral people.” Importantly, he also makes clear in vv. 9-13 that these comments only apply to those “who bears the name of brother.” He explicitly writes, “not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world…for what have I to do with judging outsiders?” This is key in informing our response to those who are not members of the church. If it is our desire to see sinners come through our doors and come to know our Savior through our ministry, then we must be welcoming, accepting them where they are. This is not to say we hide or compromise the biblical position, but it is not an issue on which we want to filter people at the door. There are three categories of people in sexual sin that we need to form a response for. First, those just coming to the church who have not committed to it – these should be treated the same as any we are reaching out to with Christ’s love. They need Jesus, not behavioral change. Next, those who have recently joined the church but have pre-existing sexual sin patterns. This can and should be addressed with patience, dignity, and love. There are often many sin areas in the life of a new believer, and it is prudent to discern how and when to address each of them. Lastly, those who have been members in the church for some amount of time and fall into sexual sin. This is the group that Paul is primarily addressing in 1 Corinthians. While sex within marriage is a private issue, sexual sin cannot be a taboo topic. It needs to be addressed regularly and clearly. We need close enough relationships within the church that such problems do not fester in the dark. We must avoid the typical church pattern to vilify the first group, never see the second group, and pretend the third group doesn’t exist until it all blows up in scandal. May it never be.
3: Consistency Issue
There is a tendency in our Christian culture to treat some sexual sins as worse than others. Like the Corinthians, some things we seem to have accepted as just ubiquitous parts of our culture. Knowing the prevalence of promiscuity and fornication among teens and single adults and usage of pornography even within the church, we tend to address these as issues of indwelling sin, similar to anger or fear of man, with offers of accountability and understanding when someone falls. By contrast, when it comes to homosexuality or adultery, it is often a church discipline issue. We view homosexual marriage as a major problem, but remarriage after a non-biblical divorce is rarely addressed. These inconsistencies lead to stigmatization and polarization and should have no place in the church. The criterion for escalation should be unrepentance, not the nature of the sexual sin. It is clear from 1 Corinthians that all should be taken seriously, but none should be vilified above others.
4: Culture and Identity
The major underlying problem with many of the sexual sin and gender issues is that they have come to be culturally bound up with people’s identities. This is not a new phenomenon and is not unique to this issue. As far back as Acts 19, you see people becoming “enraged” because Paul had threatened the Ephesians’ cultural identity as worshipers of Artemis. People continue to find their primary identities in their employment, hobbies, sports teams, or families rather than Christ. None of these should be accepted, but none should be reviled either. If a person does not know Jesus, they are dead. How they identify themselves is of no concern. Once they have been made alive, they can be taught that “whose” they are is more important than “who” they are. All identity outside of Christ is not sinful, but if it takes paramount importance, it may become so. A person who recognizes a tendency toward same sex attraction may label themselves as gay or lesbian. This should not be considered a sin issue unless it becomes, for them, their defining characteristic or leads to sinful actions. We should recognize the difficulty of this struggle and support such a person rather than get hung up on labels. There must be clear distinction between identifying same sex attraction and engaging in homosexual behavior. These should be the guiding principles underlying everything that follows are regards individual cases.
5: Public Facing Information, Guests, and New Attendees
Considering what we have discussed, and Paul’s assertion in 1 Corinthians 5 that we ought to reserve judgment on sexual immorality to those we call brother, I would submit that public facing information regarding the church (i.e. website, app, etc) should not publish a position on sexual immorality, marriage, and gender identity. Doing so effectively places the filter at the door so that people who do not know Christ may be turned away from it. This is not tantamount to tacit approval. In appropriate contexts within the church, these topics should still be discussed and addressed, but I do not believe it is consistent with a biblical treatment of unbelievers to place it in a public facing forum. If we have guests or new regular attendees who appear to be engaged in a cohabitating or fornicating relationship, a homosexual relationship, or other sexual sin, this should not be a priority to address unless we have discerned that they are believers and join the church. Even then, it is important to draw a distinction between someone who deals with same-sex attraction and someone who engages in homosexual behavior. The next seven points are meant to discuss, in broad terms, how we should address those who join the church with pre-existing relationships or identity issues:
6: Promiscuity, Cohabitation – Hebrews 13:4, 1 Cor 7:1-2, Ex 22:16
Much of the biblical discussion on promiscuity is by inference. Clearly, sex was meant to be inseparably linked to marriage and outside of that context should be considered immoral. For those who join the church already in a sexual relationship who are unmarried we should apply Exodus 22:16 and encourage them to marry as soon as possible. If they do not wish to marry, they should be encouraged to separate. Paul acknowledges in 1 Cor 7:2 that marriage is the best remedy for “temptation to sexual immorality.”
7: Adultery, Divorce and Remarriage – Matt 5:32, Matt 19:9, 1 Cor 7:10-11
This issue is given much more explicit biblical instruction but is often glossed over in our Christian culture due to the messy landscape of divorces and remarriages. In cases where non-biblical divorce has occurred, if reconciliation is possible, this should be pursued. If reconciliation is impossible because one or more parties have remarried, it would not be sensible to divorce again in order to achieve reconciliation. The principle to apply here, I believe, is from 1 Cor 7:17-24 summarized in verse 20: “Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called.” This is not an ideal circumstance, but it is the best way forward in an imperfect world. Of note, polygamy was common in the culture of the early church, and while not ideal, was accepted by the church, as evidenced by the qualifications for elder to be “a husband of but one wife.” We have polygamous cultures even within our local community and if they came to Christ, we should not counsel them to divorce all but one wife and thus disrupt their social structure. It is not ideal and would disqualify them from eldership, but they should remain as they are. Whether marriage after unbiblical divorce in the past disqualifies a man from eldership is a case-by case question for the eldership.
8: Pornography, Sensuality, and Lust – Lev 18:6-18, Matt 5:28
As mentioned above, use of pornography has reached a high saturation point within our culture and within our church. While once thought of as simply a male issue, there is a growing trend toward gender parity in pornography usage. It is an issue that should be discussed with some frequency within our church. For those that join the church and view pornography regularly, it needs to be made clear that while the world has largely destigmatized it, it is still sexual immorality. Furthermore, this isn’t just limited to nudity and pornography, but any sensuality that leads to looking at someone “with lustful intent” is the heart equivalent of adultery according to Matt 5:28. In our culture, it is not possible to avoid such things by just turning away. We need to address the heart issues of idolatry, selfishness, and satisfaction in Christ. Practically, how should we deal with those who have on-going struggles with pornography, sensuality and lust? Should this preclude them from eldership? From deaconship? Taken strictly, this would preclude nearly all men from eldership. These require individual evaluation from the elders, but a guiding principle should be, if the person is repentant and there is evidence of growth in their life, we should consider more responsibility and continued discipleship.
9: Homosexuality – Lev 18:22, Lev 20:13, 1 Cor 6:9, 1 Tim 1:8-11
From the above references and others, it is evident that homosexual behavior is sexual sin. We cannot equivocate on that point. As we have discussed above, if a person who is already a believer and in the church and struggles with same sex attraction, we should approach them as we would handle anyone who is sexually attracted to someone to whom they are not married. If such a person decides that homosexuality is not sinful and begins sexually immoral activity, we should deal with them in the same way as any member who falls into unrepentant sin and go through the processes of correction and, if necessary, of church discipline. It is important that we draw a distinction between same sex attraction and homosexual behavior. We can do tremendous harm by demonizing same sex attraction and creating a taboo around it. A person who is struggling to abstain from homosexual behavior should be supported and encouraged. I believe Paul’s strong statements about not associating with sexually immoral people applies to those who remain unrepentant. Much more nuanced is the issue of how we address those that join the church already in a homosexual relationship. What about the married homosexual couple who join the church with their adopted child? Should we break up their family? I believe, in this case, the same principle should apply as to those who have gone through an unbiblical divorce in the past. We should apply 1 Cor 7:20: “Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called.” We can recognize that this is not ideal, but it is the best we can do in a fallen world just as we do with someone who is married after unbiblical divorce. Whether should apply to a homosexual couple in a long term committed relationship who are not legally married would be an individual discussion with the elders. Again, these are nuanced cases that will need individual prayer, discussion, and discernment. I believe a great deal more patience is called for when a new believer joins the church that has a history or present reality of homosexuality, even if they are unrepentant at first, believing that homosexuality is not sinful, than we would demonstrate to a person who has been in the church for a period of time and then decides to pursue a homosexual relationship.
10: Bisexuality – Heb 13:4
Bisexual attraction is no more or less of an issue than anyone who finds that they are sexually attracted to someone other than their spouse. This is not a rare or unique circumstance, even within the church. Someone who is practicing bisexuality is, by definition, not confining sex to the marriage bed, and this, therefore, qualifies as sexual immorality. The issue, here again, is one of identity and cultural acceptance. If a person “identifies as bisexual,” the real issue is not the bisexuality, but the fact that they identify themselves primarily by their sexual desires, and not by Christ. It would be equally a problem if they “identified as heterosexual” and that was seen as their defining characteristic. If such a person were to join the church, our priority should be in helping them see their identity in Christ rather than focusing on renouncing their sexual preference.
11: Transgenderism/Non-binarism – Psalm 139: 13-15
It should be noted that the next two points should not be considered in the category of sexual immorality, but as they are connected to the same cultural moment will be discussed here. It should further be remarked that transgenderism is a modern issue with no direct reference in Scripture. It is a challenging issue that often falls prey to oversimplification and scapegoating. It is not sufficient to simply state that a person should identify with their born gender. There are those born with ambiguous genitalia and those born with sex chromosome abnormalities such that “born gender” is not necessarily accurate. These occur with a frequency of 1 in 448 births on average which is not particularly rare. The majority of people who consider themselves to be transgender do not fall into these categories, but the fact remains that these categories exist. Unless we plan to embark on genetic testing, we must be careful how we assert someone’s gender assignment. Furthermore, we must acknowledge that much of the gender confusion in our culture is due to a distortion of biblically accurate masculinity and femininity in our culture of which the church has been widely supportive for generations. Many transgender and non-binary individuals consider themselves so because they do not fit into the traditional boxes our culture has created for the genders. The church can start by recognizing that these boxes are incorrect. We can also acknowledge that gender differences and roles are far less important than most human cultures perceive. Christ himself challenged many gender norms in his ministry and Paul maintains “…there is no male or female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Gal 3:28b) It is much more difficult to recognize this issue as a sin issue than many of the above concerns. If someone wishes to be addressed by different pronouns than they once did or dress differently than they once did, this does not amount to immorality. Once again, this can be an idolatrous identity issue if the person sees it as the central characteristic of their lives. There is often an inherent pride in asserting that such a person does not feel they fit in the body created for them, but if they come to love Jesus and understand and believe that they are “fearfully and wonderfully made” then this issue may become moot. Whether or not they revert to dressing differently or using pronouns they did when they were younger is largely immaterial. This also addresses the issue of people who may have undergone permanent physical changes. While we should not endorse such modification if it is being considered, there is no reason to reverse such a thing in order to return to a base state. We must recognize that this is a group that has a high propensity toward mental health concerns, instability, and suicidality. They need love, support and prayer, not scapegoating and extra-biblical expectations of conforming to a cultural norm. We must further note that this group as well as the homosexual group have often experienced psychological and even physical harm from others in our culture, sometimes in the name of Christ. We must foster an environment of champions physical and psychological safety for these people.
12: Asexuality – 1 Cor 7:25-38
Asexuality also should not be considered sexual immorality. There is, in fact, wide support in Paul’s letters such as in 1 Cor 7 for people, if they are able, to remain unmarried and be “anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord.” We tend to champion the model of the nuclear family in our Christian culture, but Paul sees chaste singleness as a better way. There should be no pressure from the church to make sure that single people pair off and get married because it is expected of them. As this state has been culturally identified with the LGBTQIA movement, it is seen on the same spectrum as the sexual immorality and gender issues discussed above, but it is not. It can still fall prey to the same issue of an idolatrous identity as some of the above issues, but it need not be so.
13: Glass Ceiling
In the event that God sees fit to bring people from these subgroups into our church, there would inevitably be a glass ceiling. The question is at what point. The four logical points are: regular attender, member, deacon, and elder. Regardless of their background or position, all should be welcome to be a regular attender. It is also clear, from the biblical requirements for eldership, that on-going problems or engagement in any of the sexual sins would disqualify them from that post. The middle two are less clear. I would submit that the bar for membership should be very low. This step, in my opinion, is when they would “bear the name of brother” and not before. Even if they disagree about the sinful nature of homosexuality, this should not disallow them from becoming members as long as they agree to submit to the churches position and not cause division. Allowing them to become members gives us the pastoral authority to speak into their lives, and we would hope that over time the Spirit would work in their hearts to convince them of the truth. Putting such a person in a deacon role would probably not be wise but would need to be evaluated prayerfully on a case-by-case basis. The difficulty here is that, while a position on homosexuality is not a salvific issue and should not be considered a core doctrine in the same way as the deity of Christ, for example, it is a sin issue. There is a limit to how far we can “agree to disagree” and still uphold our duty to root out sin in our midst. Once again, we should also distinguish between a struggle with same sex attraction and engagement in homosexual behavior when we consider our response. There is also a glass ceiling when it comes to marriage. While I believe we should not break up existing homosexual marriages, we should not participate in creating them. The marriage covenant between a man and woman was created, in part, to reflect the relationship between Christ and the church (Eph 5). This should not be co-opted to excuse or normalize immorality.
14: Nuance and Edge Cases
The above outline is by no means meant to be exhaustive or definitive. It is meant to provide a lens, supported by scripture, through which we can view these issues and consider corporate and pastoral responses. It should inform how we view the people that walk through the door from a wide range of backgrounds and how we equip those in our church to be Christ’s ambassadors to those in our community. Every person and circumstance, history and baggage will be different, and any non-nuanced position would be inherently evil. I pray we have many opportunities to talk, think and pray through specific situations that God would bless us with the chance to be a part of. What an honor it would be to be used to reach into broken lives like these with the Gospel of Grace.
15: Action Steps
As we consider practical and philosophical ways of responding to the above, I believe we should start from a position of corporate repentance. If we wish to truly reach out and touch the lives of broken people in need of a Savior who live a life of same sex attraction or gender dysphoria, we need to begin by recognizing that a great deal of harm, emotional and physical, has been inflicted on this group by the Church for generations. There are homeless people living in our area who were kicked out of their homes by parents holding a Bible. There are those who have been subjected to horrific methods that amount to torture under the guise of “Conversion Therapy” from Christian organizations. The only “conversion” we should concern ourselves with is to a regenerate heart. Attempting to change someone’s sexual attraction is very much beside the point. We cannot hope to be a place where such people can hear about Jesus unless they feel safe to enter our doors. We must also fight the tendency to consider sin in this area as something worse than others, even in non-Christians. James 2 says “…For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become guilty of all of it….So speak and so act as those who are to be judged under the law of liberty. For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.” As we consider corporate and pastoral responses to the argument above, we must start by removing our own planks and repenting for the historical actions of the Church.
Practical steps that we could consider taking would include: removing the statements from the website about marriage and sexuality, especially directly under our Core Beliefs. Again, this is not meant to hide or equivocate on the truth, but not to set such a barrier before someone even walks through our door. Secondly, we should consider how to address these topics within the church. A Sunday morning sermon is not ideal as it is time limited and a unidirectional conversation. A small group course format would be a consideration. We need to equip parents and family members of adolescents, teens, and adults with language to talk about these things in loving, humble, God-honoring ways. In the longer term, we need to consider how we can make our church a place where people would feel comfortable inviting friends and family who look, think and act differently than we do. We need to find a way of projecting safety and inclusion even in our public facing information. This isn’t a balancing act where we must make it clear early and often that we “love the sinner but hate the sin” as the saying goes. We just need to love the sinner. Dealing with the sin can come later God-willing. A third application point is to be mindful of what we say and what we allow to be said without being checked. Certainly, joking at the expense of those who are dealing with these issues is unacceptable, but we also need to work to avoid getting dragged in to pseudo-political discussions on bathroom issues, sports issues or other divisive concerns that have no bearing on the church.
I recognize that these proposals have the potential to divide the church. There are some who may leave the body over these sorts of changes. I would argue that it is our responsibility to them as well as to the unreached in our community to have those discussions and risk some of them leaving over it. These are not all things we should change overnight but after ample opportunities for discussions and prayer.
16: Conclusion – Mark 2:15-17
At its core, these are not issues of who someone loves, sexual attraction, or even specific sex acts. The core is idolatry and identity. When acceptance by others, self-determination, or physical pleasure become the central force driving our lives then we have become idolators. Though our idols take on different shapes, the struggles in this space are shared by all. Whether you are identified by your profession, your family, or your gender identity, you are not being identified by your Master. Building fences around or within the church because someone sins in a different way than us cannot be allowed. Making the excuse that we are somehow “protecting our children” by shielding them from people in our community who desperately need a Savior will not show our children who Jesus is. Within the church, we cannot be afraid to “speak the truth in love.” We need not and cannot shy away from sin in the church, but we must recognize that the Spirit works in each of our lives. Often this happens over a period of time. We should be prepared to walk alongside our brothers and sisters in this journey for as long as they need.
There is a significant correlation between this community and their relationship with religious groups, and the “tax collectors and sinners” that Jesus sought out in His ministry and their relationship with the religious leaders of the day. Our heart should reflect His. Jesus responded: “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” (Mark 2:17) If our church was filled with transgender people and gay families that loved Jesus, God would be glorified.”
Thank you in advance for any constructive criticism, notes of encouragement to and or reading recommendations on these topics that I can pass along.
submitted by MWBartko to TrueChristian [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 19:26 LavenderCsalt Need advice, fiancé (34 M) screams at me (31 F) like a teenager during arguments?

A few days ago I broke up with my fiancé after we came back from a trip we were on for a couple days for his birthday. We have been fighting more and more these last few months and every single time we get into an argument, he turns into what I can only describe as a teenager, he becomes incredibly immature and screams at me and gets mad over the most ridiculous things.
I am 5'3 and he towers over me at 6'4 and it honestly scares me when he screams at me. I have told him numerous times to stop reacting like that whenever we have an argument and he always apologizes later but the next time he gets angry, its the exact same blow up pattern where he screams again and behaves like he's 14 years old screaming at his mama.
His mother was living with him before and she had the same problem with him, he would scream at her too. I made a joke to her one day after they had a big fight, saying, "Am I next in line for this treatment?" and she said yes. I should have taken the warning then.
We just moved in together and we've been living together for a month. I'm honestly not happy. He does gross things like takes pictures of his big poops and shows it to me on his phone, he picks his pimples and smells them in front of me saying "smells like cheese", he picks off his nail clippings and throws them on the passenger car side floor so when I go into his car, I see 6 nail clippings regularly. He sticks his hand in his giant dogs mouth when they're playing and lets him lick all over his face after I've just seen her cleaning her behind for 30 mins prior and then he tries to kiss me.
All of this has completely turned me off and ruined the romance for me. We haven't been intimate in 2 weeks because of the amount of fighting and the gross hygiene issues I mentioned. He expects me to cook, clean up after him, do the dishes, do the laundry, make the bed every day, watch his dog when he's at work. He throws his clothes everywhere he takes them off at and I had to tell him numerous times to please put them in the hamper for me to wash.
I work from home and he works 4 hours outside the home then comes home and works remotely for another 2-3 hours then he goes into the garage and smokes for hours. When we broke up after a big fight a few days ago, he said I ruined his life and that now he has to go live in a hotel because I kicked him out. I said I won't live with someone who talks to me so disrespectfully and makes me feel unsafe to be around because of his major anger issues.
His road rage is ridiculous too, he flips people off quite a few times and honks at them and I tell him all the time he's gonna end up getting into a dangerous situation because of it. It just tells me he has a lot of growing up to do. The thought of having kids with this man sounds like a nightmare.
He bought me a diamond ruby necklace and during the break up, he said "I want that ruby necklace back so I can pawn it." he took other gifts he had gotten me over the course of our relationship and pawned those too since leaving my house. He says he wants to work on his anger and stay with me and still loves me but then in the same breath he will say its all my fault that he's in this situation now. Takes no responsibility for how he treats people and somehow always manages to be the victim.
I'm tired but I dont know if I'll regret losing him in a few months when everything is said and done. He said he can take me to court because of "Squatter laws" because I asked him to leave overnight. I own my house, he doesn't and we never signed anything. He has been incredibly rude about money too, he only contributed $750 a month in total (For rent, groceries and all the bills combined) and I paid for everything else. We had a fight about that too because he said that was "way too much". I said good luck finding anything that cheap today out there by yourself.
When we talk about getting married, he says we need to sign a prenup because he never wants to pay alimony and he buries his gold coins in the backyard and would never tell me where they are even if we were to get married. These things are so unromantic to say and makes me not even want to marry him in the first place if he's going to be so selfish about his money already.
He says sorry after the arguments but I dont see any actual change because the next time we fight, he will act the same way again. I dont think he can change because the way he acted with his mother when he lived with her was very much the same way, even cops were called. This seems like its just part of his personality.
TLDR; Fiance has an incredibly immature reaction to arguments, gets easily angered, has road rage issues and screams at his mother too. The fighting has gotten more frequent. Doesnt take responsibility during arguments and only after the fact, apologizes and claims he wants to change and become better but this has happened numerous times and I dont see any change. Seems like something very ingrained in his personality.
submitted by LavenderCsalt to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 19:22 Hopeful_Ad_8081 Cross-eyed righty advice request

So, im left-eyed dominant righty with a modified eastern grip (between bevel 3 and 4) and a double handed backhand and playing mainly with neutral and semi-open stances.
So far the backhand is my most consistent shot and the one I feel more comfortable with, I feel like I can see the ball properly and follow through pretty natural. The forehand is my strongest shot (overall: depth, rpm, net clearance, etc.) when its well hit, but its inconsistent and feels uncomfortable af. Most of my doubts are about (1) shoulder turn and follow through, (2) swing path and (3) solid weight transfer. And those doubts make me either miss the contact point or lose strength and control because of not coordinating the body movements. I'd like to hear some tips and drills in order to work specifically on that and maybe get some players that could be a reference because of their technique.
____ about the 3 topics_____:
(1) - Sometimes I prepare the neutral stance and the coil properly but I over-rotate the shoulders when accelerating and contacting the ball, and this makes me open the left shoulder and hip and end up screwing the forehand. I've tried, counter-intuitively, to keep the neutral stance and follow through but felt uncomfortable af. I don't have a clear idea of how should the rotation and forward lean coordinate. The doubts around this problem sometimes end up making me overthink the shot and pretending to watch the ball every millisecond and just end up moving the head position through the contact -- which is another stupid mistake.
(2) - Swing path. I now the difference between flat shots and spin and so on, but I dont know if this is a very personal preference or if there's a strict pattern that I should follow through. I guess watching pro's and coaches doesn't help as much because it looks like everyone has a different technique which works on them but that could differ a hell lot (i.e. from Federer to Nadal to Berretini or Medvedev... :S). Given that im cross-eyed righty and my neutral stance is there any specific advice about what would feel more comfortable?
(3) - I feel more comfortable on my left leg than the right one, and that transfers a lot on the backhand because with the neutral stance I can bend the knees and drive an awesome follow through pushing with it and so on; but I'm struggling to find that ease with the forehand because of the (1) and (2) issues and doubts. it feels like each forehand is executed different while the backhand is always the same movement. Shall I just focus on good contact, shoulder rotation and swing finish before taking care of the forward weight transfer?
submitted by Hopeful_Ad_8081 to 10s [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 19:22 sunnynukes A list of Min Heejin’s weird pattern of behavior

I think it’s a good time for people to revisit some of Min Heejin’s previous personal and creative choices. When you see everything together it no longer looks like a couple of coincidences but a long leading pattern of behavior
I’ve tried to link as much as I can. Please let me know if need to edit or add anything. None of the MV links are the actual music videos and are instead stills posted on Imgur
-Hyein’s top in the Attention MV was a bralette while the older members all were more covered up. Hyein is 14 in this MV
-In the Attention MV their laptop falls to the ground as they’re on a video call and the people on the other end watch them dance
-Minji wears a shirt that says pimp is yours
-Min Heejin does a interview with BE(ATTITUDE) Magazine. She talks a bit about Hyein
Our youngest member is cool and sophisticated. She came to my home one day and we ate together, went to the bookstore, and walked around the neighborhood, talking about this and that. There was a passing awkwardness, but after a while it felt like I was taking a walk with a friend. She’s got so many talents and amazing skills. She’s young, but thoughtful, with that innocence they have at that age. I still remember bathing in her refreshing energy, and the sublime weather only added to the effect.
-NewJeans officially releases Cookie which is filled with sexual innuendo lyrics. Their ages at this point are 18, 17, 17, 16, and 14. Cookie was written by two native English speakers.
-Min Heejin posts a picture on Instagram that includes the Histoire de Melody Nelson album by Serge Gainsbourg on display in her apartment. The album’s plot is about a middle age man who takes a 14 year old’s virginity
-Min Heejin posts a picture on Instagram of Olivia Hussey and Leonard Whiting’s nude scene from the 1968 movie Romeo and Juliet. Olivia was 15 at the time of filming and Leonard was 16. (The actors have actually sued Paramount over the nudity in this scene you can read about it here)
-Min Heejin posts several pictures that include a “Baby Brooke” picture as decoration in her apartment. Brooke Shields was extremely sexually exploited as a child
-Min Heejin posts a picture that includes a still from the 1974 film Le Farò de Padre. The IMDb page for the film. The plot is an older man plans to marry a mentally-challenged, sex-crazed, adolescent girl.
-Danielle gets styled like Mathilda from Léon the Professional. Mathilda is played by 12 year old Natalie Portman and there are many inappropriate themes/hintings between her and the titular character who was portrayed by 46 year old Jean Reno.
There are also these two posts that she made but I do not know who they are if they are also celebrities/actors. I’m also sorry for the bad screenshot quality of her Instagram posts, she has since deleted these so these screenshots are from Twitter
-Min Heejin responds to the Instagram post controversy in a interview with JoongAng Ilbo.She says that all of the pictures of minors she had on her wall were gifted to her from a couple years ago. She also says that pimp is yours and Cookie are slang.
-The music video of OMG is taking place in a mental hospital with all of the members having different mental issues.
-Haters are directly talked to at the end of the OMG MV as one of the members stops another one from writing a hate comment on Twitter and tells the other member it’s time to go. The hate comment says “Does anyone else feel uncomfortable watching the MV?”
-NewJeans gets into a controversy ahead of their ETA release as there are many similarities with a Spanish terrorist cult(Euskadi Ta Askatasuna). The teaser video said starting Mikel, Maria, and Eva which are names people connected to the cult. The release date of ETA(July 21st) was also the date of two separate cult attacks in different years.
-The MV for Cool With You stars Jung Hoyeon as a woman who follows around and falls in love with a man who is unable to see her as she is some sort of invisible entity like Eros. She is able to become human after standing naked in the rain. The 5 members of NewJeans are basically her guardian angels and have been watching over her the entire time including a scene where Hoyeon gets on top of the man as he’s sleeping
Min Heejin worked at SM Entertainment from 2002 until 2018. These are some controversial moments that she was involved in during that time at SM
please note that I did not actively follow her career at that point so if I got any information wrong please let me know
-The Happiness MV from Red Velvet references the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki and 9/11. The MV was edited to get rid of the collage.
-Red Velvet releases Ice Cream Cake which is filled with sexual innuendos. The ages of the members at this point are 23, 21, 21, 18, and Yeri being 16.
-This photoshoot for Red Velvet’s Rookie which I personally think fetishizes the members in a Lolita style. Yeri is 17
-Shinee’s topless photoshoot for Sherlock. Jonghyun’s body had too much muscle definition so they photoshopped it to make his body more boyish.
-The MV for NCT Dream’s My First And Last includes the members being students who are in love with their female teacher. The members ages at this point are also 18, 17, 16, 16, 16, 15, and 15.
-The MV for NCT 127’s Fire Truck includes shooting a young looking girl with water.
-The MV for Super Junior’s Devil had a 14 year old actress
Related to the recent Kakaotalk texts that were leaked where Min Heejin calls some of the members fat - here is a predebut video of the members of NewJeans talking with Min Heejin. The girls are only eating vegetables
Min Hee Jin: How is it?
Hyein: It’s so good. I think after coming here, I got used to this healthy taste. So now I like such foods.
Min Hee Jin: Wow, finally something good to hear. Hyein originally liked meat, though.
Hyein: Yeah. I still like meat but, well.
submitted by sunnynukes to kpop_uncensored [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 19:18 TheGoombler Oh hey, I'm not dead, and neither is GME. (A Refresher on COINTELPRO.)

GOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING SUPERSTONKERS! HAHA. It's me again. Yeah, i slipped past the defenses again to drop this off so you can all refresh yourselves on the state of FUD and disinformation in this protracted fight against the legal larcenists doing their best to try and get you to sell. Please spread this amongst the holders, the more people know the less power they have over us holders. We don't sell until we get a call from marge, and that's always been the play.
TLDR: This is a set of tactics used by the Alphabet Boys(CIA, FBI, DEA) to control and manipulate us into drama to collapse our communities and movements. And should be read in full by anyone willing and wanting to learn how these things work.
I've come to notice recently, people keep asking me to repost this for the sake of keeping the new people abreast on what needs to be done to protect the holders of GME. Beneath here will be a detailed account on what you need to be aware of in your online interactions, to avoid being taken for a fool!
_______________________________________________________________________
  1. COINTELPRO Techniques for dilution, misdirection and control of a internet forum
  2. Twenty-Five Rules of Disinformation
  3. Eight Traits of the Disinformationalist
  4. How to Spot a Spy (Cointelpro Agent)
  5. Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression
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COINTELPRO Techniques for dilution, misdirection and control of a internet forum..
There are several techniques for the control and manipulation of a internet forum no matter what, or who is on it. We will go over each technique and demonstrate that only a minimal number of operatives can be used to eventually and effectively gain a control of a 'uncontrolled forum.'
Technique #1 - 'FORUM SLIDING'
If a very sensitive posting of a critical nature has been posted on a forum - it can be quickly removed from public view by 'forum sliding.' In this technique a number of unrelated posts are quietly prepositioned on the forum and allowed to 'age.' Each of these misdirectional forum postings can then be called upon at will to trigger a 'forum slide.' The second requirement is that several fake accounts exist, which can be called upon, to ensure that this technique is not exposed to the public. To trigger a 'forum slide' and 'flush' the critical post out of public view it is simply a matter of logging into each account both real and fake and then 'replying' to prepositioned postings with a simple 1 or 2 line comment. This brings the unrelated postings to the top of the forum list, and the critical posting 'slides' down the front page, and quickly out of public view. Although it is difficult or impossible to censor the posting it is now lost in a sea of unrelated and unuseful postings. By this means it becomes effective to keep the readers of the forum reading unrelated and non-issue items.
Technique #2 - 'CONSENSUS CRACKING'
A second highly effective technique (which you can see in operation all the time at www.abovetopsecret.com
) is 'consensus cracking.' To develop a consensus crack, the following technique is used. Under the guise of a fake account a posting is made which looks legitimate and is towards the truth is made - but the critical point is that it has a VERY WEAK PREMISE without substantive proof to back the posting. Once this is done then under alternative fake accounts a very strong position in your favor is slowly introduced over the life of the posting. It is IMPERATIVE that both sides are initially presented, so the uninformed reader cannot determine which side is the truth. As postings and replies are made the stronger 'evidence' or disinformation in your favor is slowly 'seeded in.' Thus the uninformed reader will most like develop the same position as you, and if their position is against you their opposition to your posting will be most likely dropped. However in some cases where the forum members are highly educated and can counter your disinformation with real facts and linked postings, you can then 'abort' the consensus cracking by initiating a 'forum slide.'
Technique #3 - 'TOPIC DILUTION'
Topic dilution is not only effective in forum sliding it is also very useful in keeping the forum readers on unrelated and non-productive issues. This is a critical and useful technique to cause a 'RESOURCE BURN.' By implementing continual and non-related postings that distract and disrupt (trolling ) the forum readers they are more effectively stopped from anything of any real productivity. If the intensity of gradual dilution is intense enough, the readers will effectively stop researching and simply slip into a 'gossip mode.' In this state they can be more easily misdirected away from facts towards uninformed conjecture and opinion. The less informed they are the more effective and easy it becomes to control the entire group in the direction that you would desire the group to go in. It must be stressed that a proper assessment of the psychological capabilities and levels of education is first determined of the group to determine at what level to 'drive in the wedge.' By being too far off topic too quickly it may trigger censorship by a forum moderator.
Technique #4 - 'INFORMATION COLLECTION'
Information collection is also a very effective method to determine the psychological level of the forum members, and to gather intelligence that can be used against them. In this technique in a light and positive environment a 'show you mine so me yours' posting is initiated. From the number of replies and the answers that are provided much statistical information can be gathered. An example is to post your 'favorite weapon' and then encourage other members of the forum to showcase what they have. In this matter it can be determined by reverse proration what percentage of the forum community owns a firearm, and or a illegal weapon. This same method can be used by posing as one of the form members and posting your favorite 'technique of operation.' From the replies various methods that the group utilizes can be studied and effective methods developed to stop them from their activities.
Technique #5 - 'ANGER TROLLING'
Statistically, there is always a percentage of the forum posters who are more inclined to violence. In order to determine who these individuals are, it is a requirement to present a image to the forum to deliberately incite a strong psychological reaction. From this the most violent in the group can be effectively singled out for reverse IP location and possibly local enforcement tracking. To accomplish this only requires posting a link to a video depicting a local police officer massively abusing his power against a very innocent individual. Statistically of the million or so police officers in America there is always one or two being caught abusing there powers and the taping of the activity can be then used for intelligence gathering purposes - without the requirement to 'stage' a fake abuse video. This method is extremely effective, and the more so the more abusive the video can be made to look. Sometimes it is useful to 'lead' the forum by replying to your own posting with your own statement of violent intent, and that you 'do not care what the authorities think!!' inflammation. By doing this and showing no fear it may be more effective in getting the more silent and self-disciplined violent intent members of the forum to slip and post their real intentions. This can be used later in a court of law during prosecution.
Technique #6 - 'GAINING FULL CONTROL'
It is important to also be harvesting and continually maneuvering for a forum moderator position. Once this position is obtained, the forum can then be effectively and quietly controlled by deleting unfavourable postings - and one can eventually steer the forum into complete failure and lack of interest by the general public. This is the 'ultimate victory' as the forum is no longer participated with by the general public and no longer useful in maintaining their freedoms. Depending on the level of control you can obtain, you can deliberately steer a forum into defeat by censoring postings, deleting memberships, flooding, and or accidentally taking the forum offline. By this method the forum can be quickly killed. However it is not always in the interest to kill a forum as it can be converted into a 'honey pot' gathering center to collect and misdirect newcomers and from this point be completely used for your control for your agenda purposes.
CONCLUSION
Remember these techniques are only effective if the forum participants DO NOT KNOW ABOUT THEM. Once they are aware of these techniques the operation can completely fail, and the forum can become uncontrolled. At this point other avenues must be considered such as initiating a false legal precidence to simply have the forum shut down and taken offline. This is not desirable as it then leaves the enforcement agencies unable to track the percentage of those in the population who always resist attempts for control against them. Many other techniques can be utilized and developed by the individual and as you develop further techniques of infiltration and control it is imperative to share then with HQ.
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Twenty-Five Rules of Disinformation
Note: The first rule and last five (or six, depending on situation) rules are generally not directly within the ability of the traditional disinfo artist to apply. These rules are generally used more directly by those at the leadership, key players, or planning level of the criminal conspiracy or conspiracy to cover up.
1. Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil. Regardless of what you know, don't discuss it -- especially if you are a public figure, news anchor, etc. If it's not reported, it didn't happen, and you never have to deal with the issues.
2. Become incredulous and indignant. Avoid discussing key issues and instead focus on side issues which can be used show the topic as being critical of some otherwise sacrosanct group or theme. This is also known as the 'How dare you!' gambit.
3. Create rumor mongers. Avoid discussing issues by describing all charges, regardless of venue or evidence, as mere rumors and wild accusations. Other derogatory terms mutually exclusive of truth may work as well. This method which works especially well with a silent press, because the only way the public can learn of the facts are through such 'arguable rumors'. If you can associate the material with the Internet, use this fact to certify it a 'wild rumor' from a 'bunch of kids on the Internet' which can have no basis in fact.
4. Use a straw man. Find or create a seeming element of your opponent's argument which you can easily knock down to make yourself look good and the opponent to look bad. Either make up an issue you may safely imply exists based on your interpretation of the opponent/opponent arguments/situation, or select the weakest aspect of the weakest charges. Amplify their significance and destroy them in a way which appears to debunk all the charges, real and fabricated alike, while actually avoiding discussion of the real issues.
5. Sidetrack opponents with name calling and ridicule. This is also known as the primary 'attack the messenger' ploy, though other methods qualify as variants of that approach. Associate opponents with unpopular titles such as 'kooks', 'right-wing', 'liberal', 'left-wing', 'terrorists', 'conspiracy buffs', 'radicals', 'militia', 'racists', 'religious fanatics', 'sexual deviates', and so forth. This makes others shrink from support out of fear of gaining the same label, and you avoid dealing with issues.
6. Hit and Run. In any public forum, make a brief attack of your opponent or the opponent position and then scamper off before an answer can be fielded, or simply ignore any answer. This works extremely well in Internet and letters-to-the-editor environments where a steady stream of new identities can be called upon without having to explain criticism, reasoning -- simply make an accusation or other attack, never discussing issues, and never answering any subsequent response, for that would dignify the opponent's viewpoint.
7. Question motives. Twist or amplify any fact which could be taken to imply that the opponent operates out of a hidden personal agenda or other bias. This avoids discussing issues and forces the accuser on the defensive.
8. Invoke authority. Claim for yourself or associate yourself with authority and present your argument with enough 'jargon' and 'minutia' to illustrate you are 'one who knows', and simply say it isn't so without discussing issues or demonstrating concretely why or citing sources.
9. Play Dumb. No matter what evidence or logical argument is offered, avoid discussing issues except with denials they have any credibility, make any sense, provide any proof, contain or make a point, have logic, or support a conclusion. Mix well for maximum effect.
10. Associate opponent charges with old news. A derivative of the straw man -- usually, in any large-scale matter of high visibility, someone will make charges early on which can be or were already easily dealt with - a kind of investment for the future should the matter not be so easily contained.) Where it can be foreseen, have your own side raise a straw man issue and have it dealt with early on as part of the initial contingency plans. Subsequent charges, regardless of validity or new ground uncovered, can usually then be associated with the original charge and dismissed as simply being a rehash without need to address current issues -- so much the better where the opponent is or was involved with the original source.
11. Establish and rely upon fall-back positions. Using a minor matter or element of the facts, take the 'high road' and 'confess' with candor that some innocent mistake, in hindsight, was made -- but that opponents have seized on the opportunity to blow it all out of proportion and imply greater criminalities which, 'just isn't so.' Others can reinforce this on your behalf, later, and even publicly 'call for an end to the nonsense' because you have already 'done the right thing.' Done properly, this can garner sympathy and respect for 'coming clean' and 'owning up' to your mistakes without addressing more serious issues.
12. Enigmas have no solution. Drawing upon the overall umbrella of events surrounding the crime and the multitude of players and events, paint the entire affair as too complex to solve. This causes those otherwise following the matter to begin to lose interest more quickly without having to address the actual issues.
13. Alice in Wonderland Logic. Avoid discussion of the issues by reasoning backwards or with an apparent deductive logic which forbears any actual material fact.
14. Demand complete solutions. Avoid the issues by requiring opponents to solve the crime at hand completely, a ploy which works best with issues qualifying for rule 10.
15. Fit the facts to alternate conclusions. This requires creative thinking unless the crime was planned with contingency conclusions in place.
16. Vanish evidence and witnesses. If it does not exist, it is not fact, and you won't have to address the issue.
17. Change the subject. Usually in connection with one of the other ploys listed here, find a way to side-track the discussion with abrasive or controversial comments in hopes of turning attention to a new, more manageable topic. This works especially well with companions who can 'argue' with you over the new topic and polarize the discussion arena in order to avoid discussing more key issues.
18. Emotionalize, Antagonize, and Goad Opponents. If you can't do anything else, chide and taunt your opponents and draw them into emotional responses which will tend to make them look foolish and overly motivated, and generally render their material somewhat less coherent. Not only will you avoid discussing the issues in the first instance, but even if their emotional response addresses the issue, you can further avoid the issues by then focusing on how 'sensitive they are to criticism.'
19. Ignore proof presented, demand impossible proofs. This is perhaps a variant of the 'play dumb' rule. Regardless of what material may be presented by an opponent in public forums, claim the material irrelevant and demand proof that is impossible for the opponent to come by (it may exist, but not be at his disposal, or it may be something which is known to be safely destroyed or withheld, such as a murder weapon.) In order to completely avoid discussing issues, it may be required that you to categorically deny and be critical of media or books as valid sources, deny that witnesses are acceptable, or even deny that statements made by government or other authorities have any meaning or relevance.
20. False evidence. Whenever possible, introduce new facts or clues designed and manufactured to conflict with opponent presentations -- as useful tools to neutralize sensitive issues or impede resolution. This works best when the crime was designed with contingencies for the purpose, and the facts cannot be easily separated from the fabrications.
21. Call a Grand Jury, Special Prosecutor, or other empowered investigative body. Subvert the (process) to your benefit and effectively neutralize all sensitive issues without open discussion. Once convened, the evidence and testimony are required to be secret when properly handled. For instance, if you own the prosecuting attorney, it can insure a Grand Jury hears no useful evidence and that the evidence is sealed and unavailable to subsequent investigators. Once a favorable verdict is achieved, the matter can be considered officially closed. Usually, this technique is applied to find the guilty innocent, but it can also be used to obtain charges when seeking to frame a victim.
22. Manufacture a new truth. Create your own expert(s), group(s), author(s), leader(s) or influence existing ones willing to forge new ground via scientific, investigative, or social research or testimony which concludes favorably. In this way, if you must actually address issues, you can do so authoritatively.
23. Create bigger distractions. If the above does not seem to be working to distract from sensitive issues, or to prevent unwanted media coverage of unstoppable events such as trials, create bigger news stories (or treat them as such) to distract the multitudes.
24. Silence critics. If the above methods do not prevail, consider removing opponents from circulation by some definitive solution so that the need to address issues is removed entirely. This can be by their death, arrest and detention, blackmail or destruction of their character by release of blackmail information, or merely by destroying them financially, emotionally, or severely damaging their health.
25. Vanish. If you are a key holder of secrets or otherwise overly illuminated and you think the heat is getting too hot, to avoid the issues, vacate the kitchen.
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Eight Traits of the Disinformationalist
1) Avoidance. They never actually discuss issues head-on or provide constructive input, generally avoiding citation of references or credentials. Rather, they merely imply this, that, and the other. Virtually everything about their presentation implies their authority and expert knowledge in the matter without any further justification for credibility.
2) Selectivity. They tend to pick and choose opponents carefully, either applying the hit-and-run approach against mere commentators supportive of opponents, or focusing heavier attacks on key opponents who are known to directly address issues. Should a commentator become argumentative with any success, the focus will shift to include the commentator as well.
3) Coincidental. They tend to surface suddenly and somewhat coincidentally with a new controversial topic with no clear prior record of participation in general discussions in the particular public arena involved. They likewise tend to vanish once the topic is no longer of general concern. They were likely directed or elected to be there for a reason, and vanish with the reason.
4) Teamwork. They tend to operate in self-congratulatory and complementary packs or teams. Of course, this can happen naturally in any public forum, but there will likely be an ongoing pattern of frequent exchanges of this sort where professionals are involved. Sometimes one of the players will infiltrate the opponent camp to become a source for straw man or other tactics designed to dilute opponent presentation strength.
5) Anti-conspiratorial. They almost always have disdain for 'conspiracy theorists' and, usually, for those who in any way believe JFK was not killed by LHO. Ask yourself why, if they hold such disdain for conspiracy theorists, do they focus on defending a single topic discussed in a NG focusing on conspiracies? One might think they would either be trying to make fools of everyone on every topic, or simply ignore the group they hold in such disdain. Or, one might more rightly conclude they have an ulterior motive for their actions in going out of their way to focus as they do.
6) Artificial Emotions. An odd kind of 'artificial' emotionalism and an unusually thick skin -- an ability to persevere and persist even in the face of overwhelming criticism and unacceptance. This likely stems from intelligence community training that, no matter how condemning the evidence, deny everything, and never become emotionally involved or reactive. The net result for a disinfo artist is that emotions can seem artificial.
Most people, if responding in anger, for instance, will express their animosity throughout their rebuttal. But disinfo types usually have trouble maintaining the 'image' and are hot and cold with respect to pretended emotions and their usually more calm or unemotional communications style. It's just a job, and they often seem unable to 'act their role in character' as well in a communications medium as they might be able in a real face-to-face conversation/confrontation. You might have outright rage and indignation one moment, ho-hum the next, and more anger later -- an emotional yo-yo.
With respect to being thick-skinned, no amount of criticism will deter them from doing their job, and they will generally continue their old disinfo patterns without any adjustments to criticisms of how obvious it is that they play that game -- where a more rational individual who truly cares what others think might seek to improve their communications style, substance, and so forth, or simply give up.
7) Inconsistent. There is also a tendency to make mistakes which betray their true self/motives. This may stem from not really knowing their topic, or it may be somewhat 'freudian', so to speak, in that perhaps they really root for the side of truth deep within.
I have noted that often, they will simply cite contradictory information which neutralizes itself and the author. For instance, one such player claimed to be a Navy pilot, but blamed his poor communicating skills (spelling, grammar, incoherent style) on having only a grade-school education. I'm not aware of too many Navy pilots who don't have a college degree. Another claimed no knowledge of a particular topic/situation but later claimed first-hand knowledge of it.
8) Time Constant. Recently discovered, with respect to News Groups, is the response time factor. There are three ways this can be seen to work, especially when the government or other empowered player is involved in a cover up operation:
a) ANY NG posting by a targeted proponent for truth can result in an IMMEDIATE response. The government and other empowered players can afford to pay people to sit there and watch for an opportunity to do some damage. SINCE DISINFO IN A NG ONLY WORKS IF THE READER SEES IT - FAST RESPONSE IS CALLED FOR, or the visitor may be swayed towards truth.
b) When dealing in more direct ways with a disinformationalist, such as email, DELAY IS CALLED FOR - there will usually be a minimum of a 48-72 hour delay. This allows a sit-down team discussion on response strategy for best effect, and even enough time to 'get permission' or instruction from a formal chain of command.
c) In the NG example 1) above, it will often ALSO be seen that bigger guns are drawn and fired after the same 48-72 hours delay - the team approach in play. This is especially true when the targeted truth seeker or their comments are considered more important with respect to potential to reveal truth. Thus, a serious truth sayer will be attacked twice for the same sin.
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How to Spot a Spy (Cointelpro Agent)
One way to neutralize a potential activist is to get them to be in a group that does all the wrong things. Why?
1) The message doesn't get out.
2) A lot of time is wasted
3) The activist is frustrated and discouraged
4) Nothing good is accomplished.
FBI and Police Informers and Infiltrators will infest any group and they have phoney activist organizations established.
Their purpose is to prevent any real movement for justice or eco-peace from developing in this country.
Agents come in small, medium or large. They can be of any ethnic background. They can be male or female.
The actual size of the group or movement being infiltrated is irrelevant. It is the potential the movement has for becoming large which brings on the spies and saboteurs.
This booklet lists tactics agents use to slow things down, foul things up, destroy the movement and keep tabs on activists.
It is the agent's job to keep the activist from quitting such a group, thus keeping him/her under control.
In some situations, to get control, the agent will tell the activist:
[Here, I have added the psychological reasons as to WHY this maneuver works to control people]
This invites guilty feelings. Many people can be controlled by guilt. The agents begin relationships with activists behind a well-developed mask of "dedication to the cause." Because of their often declared dedication, (and actions designed to prove this), when they criticize the activist, he or she - being truly dedicated to the movement - becomes convinced that somehow, any issues are THEIR fault. This is because a truly dedicated person tends to believe that everyone has a conscience and that nobody would dissimulate and lie like that "on purpose." It's amazing how far agents can go in manipulating an activist because the activist will constantly make excuses for the agent who regularly declares their dedication to the cause. Even if they do, occasionally, suspect the agent, they will pull the wool over their own eyes by rationalizing: "they did that unconsciously... they didn't really mean it... I can help them by being forgiving and accepting " and so on and so forth.
The agent will tell the activist:
This is designed to enhance the activist's self-esteem. His or her narcissistic admiration of his/her own activist/altruistic intentions increase as he or she identifies with and consciously admires the altruistic declarations of the agent which are deliberately set up to mirror those of the activist.
This is "malignant pseudo identification." It is the process by which the agent consciously imitates or simulates a certain behavior to foster the activist's identification with him/her, thus increasing the activist's vulnerability to exploitation. The agent will simulate the more subtle self-concepts of the activist.
Activists and those who have altruistic self-concepts are most vulnerable to malignant pseudo identification especially during work with the agent when the interaction includes matter relating to their competency, autonomy, or knowledge.
The goal of the agent is to increase the activist's general empathy for the agent through pseudo-identification with the activist's self-concepts.
The most common example of this is the agent who will compliment the activist for his competency or knowledge or value to the movement. On a more subtle level, the agent will simulate affects and mannerisms of the activist which promotes identification via mirroring and feelings of "twinship". It is not unheard of for activists, enamored by the perceived helpfulness and competence of a good agent, to find themselves considering ethical violations and perhaps, even illegal behavior, in the service of their agent/handler.
The activist's "felt quality of perfection" [self-concept] is enhanced, and a strong empathic bond is developed with the agent through his/her imitation and simulation of the victim's own narcissistic investments. [self-concepts] That is, if the activist knows, deep inside, their own dedication to the cause, they will project that onto the agent who is "mirroring" them.
The activist will be deluded into thinking that the agent shares this feeling of identification and bonding. In an activist/social movement setting, the adversarial roles that activists naturally play vis a vis the establishment/government, fosters ongoing processes of intrapsychic splitting so that "twinship alliances" between activist and agent may render whole sectors or reality testing unavailable to the activist. They literally "lose touch with reality."
Activists who deny their own narcissistic investments [do not have a good idea of their own self-concepts and that they ARE concepts] and consciously perceive themselves (accurately, as it were) to be "helpers" endowed with a special amount of altruism are exceedingly vulnerable to the affective (emotional) simulation of the accomplished agent.
Empathy is fostered in the activist through the expression of quite visible affects. The presentation of tearfulness, sadness, longing, fear, remorse, and guilt, may induce in the helper-oriented activist a strong sense of compassion, while unconsciously enhancing the activist's narcissistic investment in self as the embodiment of goodness.
The agent's expresssion of such simulated affects may be quite compelling to the observer and difficult to distinguish from deep emotion.
It can usually be identified by two events, however:
First, the activist who has analyzed his/her own narcissistic roots and is aware of his/her own potential for being "emotionally hooked," will be able to remain cool and unaffected by such emotional outpourings by the agent.
As a result of this unaffected, cool, attitude, the Second event will occur: The agent will recompensate much too quickly following such an affective expression leaving the activist with the impression that "the play has ended, the curtain has fallen," and the imposture, for the moment, has finished. The agent will then move quickly to another activist/victim.
The fact is, the movement doesn't need leaders, it needs MOVERS. "Follow the leader" is a waste of time.
A good agent will want to meet as often as possible. He or she will talk a lot and say little. One can expect an onslaught of long, unresolved discussions.
Some agents take on a pushy, arrogant, or defensive manner:
1) To disrupt the agenda
2) To side-track the discussion
3) To interrupt repeatedly
4) To feign ignorance
5) To make an unfounded accusation against a person.
Calling someone a racist, for example. This tactic is used to discredit a person in the eyes of all other group members.
Saboteurs
Some saboteurs pretend to be activists. She or he will ....
1) Write encyclopedic flyers (in the present day, websites)
2) Print flyers in English only.
3) Have demonstrations in places where no one cares.
4) Solicit funding from rich people instead of grass roots support
5) Display banners with too many words that are confusing.
6) Confuse issues.
7) Make the wrong demands.
8) Compromise the goal.
9) Have endless discussions that waste everyone's time. The agent may accompany the endless discussions with drinking, pot smoking or other amusement to slow down the activist's work.
Provocateurs
1) Want to establish "leaders" to set them up for a fall in order to stop the movement.
2) Suggest doing foolish, illegal things to get the activists in trouble.
3) Encourage militancy.
4) Want to taunt the authorities.
5) Attempt to make the activist compromise their values.
6) Attempt to instigate violence. Activism ought to always be non-violent.
7) Attempt to provoke revolt among people who are ill-prepared to deal with the reaction of the authorities to such violence.
Informants
1) Want everyone to sign up and sing in and sign everything.
2) Ask a lot of questions (gathering data).
3) Want to know what events the activist is planning to attend.
4) Attempt to make the activist defend him or herself to identify his or her beliefs, goals, and level of commitment.
Recruiting
Legitimate activists do not subject people to hours of persuasive dialog. Their actions, beliefs, and goals speak for themselves.
Groups that DO recruit are missionaries, military, and fake political parties or movements set up by agents.
Surveillance
ALWAYS assume that you are under surveillance.
At this point, if you are NOT under surveillance, you are not a very good activist!
Scare Tactics
They use them.
Such tactics include slander, defamation, threats, getting close to disaffected or minimally committed fellow activists to persuade them (via psychological tactics described above) to turn against the movement and give false testimony against their former compatriots. They will plant illegal substances on the activist and set up an arrest; they will plant false information and set up "exposure," they will send incriminating letters [emails] in the name of the activist; and more; they will do whatever society will allow.
This booklet in no way covers all the ways agents use to sabotage the lives of sincere an dedicated activists.
If an agent is "exposed," he or she will be transferred or replaced.
COINTELPRO is still in operation today under a different code name. It is no longer placed on paper where it can be discovered through the freedom of information act.
The FBI counterintelligence program's stated purpose: To expose, disrupt, misdirect, discredit, and otherwise neutralize individuals who the FBI categorize as opposed to the National Interests. "National Security" means the FBI's security from the people ever finding out the vicious things it does in violation of people's civil liberties.
_______________________________________________________________________
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression
Strong, credible allegations of high-level criminal activity can bring down a government. When the government lacks an effective, fact-based defense, other techniques must be employed. The success of these techniques depends heavily upon a cooperative, compliant press and a mere token opposition party.
1. Dummy up. If it's not reported, if it's not news, it didn't happen.
2. Wax indignant. This is also known as the "How dare you?" gambit.
3. Characterize the charges as "rumors" or, better yet, "wild rumors." If, in spite of the news blackout, the public is still able to learn about the suspicious facts, it can only be through "rumors." (If they tend to believe the "rumors" it must be because they are simply "paranoid" or "hysterical.")
4. Knock down straw men. Deal only with the weakest aspects of the weakest charges. Even better, create your own straw men. Make up wild rumors (or plant false stories) and give them lead play when you appear to debunk all the charges, real and fanciful alike.
5. Call the skeptics names like "conspiracy theorist," "nutcase," "ranter," "kook," "crackpot," and, of course, "rumor monger." Be sure, too, to use heavily loaded verbs and adjectives when characterizing their charges and defending the "more reasonable" government and its defenders. You must then carefully avoid fair and open debate with any of the people you have thus maligned. For insurance, set up your own "skeptics" to shoot down.
6. Impugn motives. Attempt to marginalize the critics by suggesting strongly that they are not really interested in the truth but are simply pursuing a partisan political agenda or are out to make money (compared to over-compensated adherents to the government line who, presumably, are not).
7. Invoke authority. Here the controlled press and the sham opposition can be very useful.
8. Dismiss the charges as "old news."
9. Come half-clean. This is also known as "confession and avoidance" or "taking the limited hangout route." This way, you create the impression of candor and honesty while you admit only to relatively harmless, less-than-criminal "mistakes." This stratagem often requires the embrace of a fall-back position quite different from the one originally taken. With effective damage control, the fall-back position need only be peddled by stooge skeptics to carefully limited markets.
10. Characterize the crimes as impossibly complex and the truth as ultimately unknowable.
11. Reason backward, using the deductive method with a vengeance. With thoroughly rigorous deduction, troublesome evidence is irrelevant. E.g. We have a completely free press. If evidence exists that the Vince Foster "suicide" note was forged, they would have reported it. They haven't reported it so there is no such evidence. Another variation on this theme involves the likelihood of a conspiracy leaker and a press who would report the leak.
12. Require the skeptics to solve the crime completely. E.g. If Foster was murdered, who did it and why?
13. Change the subject. This technique includes creating and/or publicizing distractions.
14. Lightly report incriminating facts, and then make nothing of them. This is sometimes referred to as "bump and run" reporting.
15. Baldly and brazenly lie. A favorite way of doing this is to attribute the "facts" furnished the public to a plausible-sounding, but anonymous, source.
16. Expanding further on numbers 4 and 5, have your own stooges "expose" scandals and champion popular causes. Their job is to pre-empt real opponents and to play 99-yard football. A variation is to pay rich people for the job who will pretend to spend their own money.
17. Flood the Internet with agents. This is the answer to the question, "What could possibly motivate a person to spend hour upon hour on Internet news groups defending the government and/or the press and harassing genuine critics?" Don t the authorities have defenders enough in all the newspapers, magazines, radio, and television? One would think refusing to print critical letters and screening out serious callers or dumping them from radio talk shows would be control enough, but, obviously, it is not.
submitted by TheGoombler to Superstonk [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 19:16 LavenderCsalt I (31 F) broke up with Fiancé (34 M) because he screams at me like a teenager during arguments, am I making the right decision?

A few days ago I broke up with my fiancé after we came back from a trip we were on for a couple days for his birthday. We have been fighting more and more these last few months and every single time we get into an argument, he turns into what I can only describe as a teenager, he becomes incredibly immature and screams at me and gets mad over the most ridiculous things.
I am 5'3 and he towers over me at 6'4 and it honestly scares me when he screams at me. I have told him numerous times to stop reacting like that whenever we have an argument and he always apologizes later but the next time he gets angry, its the exact same blow up pattern where he screams again and behaves like he's 14 years old screaming at his mama.
His mother was living with him before and she had the same problem with him, he would scream at her too. I made a joke to her one day after they had a big fight, saying, "Am I next in line for this treatment?" and she said yes. I should have taken the warning then.
We just moved in together and we've been living together for a month. I'm honestly not happy. He does gross things like takes pictures of his big poops and shows it to me on his phone, he picks his pimples and smells them in front of me saying "smells like cheese", he picks off his nail clippings and throws them on the passenger car side floor so when I go into his car, I see 6 nail clippings regularly. He sticks his hand in his giant dogs mouth when they're playing and lets him lick all over his face after I've just seen her cleaning her behind for 30 mins prior and then he tries to kiss me.
All of this has completely turned me off and ruined the romance for me. We haven't been intimate in 2 weeks because of the amount of fighting and the gross hygiene issues I mentioned. He expects me to cook, clean up after him, do the dishes, do the laundry, make the bed every day, watch his dog when he's at work. He throws his clothes everywhere he takes them off at and I had to tell him numerous times to please put them in the hamper for me to wash.
I work from home and he works 4 hours outside the home then comes home and works remotely for another 2-3 hours then he goes into the garage and smokes for hours. When we broke up after a big fight a few days ago, he said I ruined his life and that now he has to go live in a hotel because I kicked him out. I said I won't live with someone who talks to me so disrespectfully and makes me feel unsafe to be around because of his major anger issues.
His road rage is ridiculous too, he flips people off quite a few times and honks at them and I tell him all the time he's gonna end up getting into a dangerous situation because of it. It just tells me he has a lot of growing up to do. The thought of having kids with this man sounds like a nightmare.
He bought me a diamond ruby necklace and during the break up, he said "I want that ruby necklace back so I can pawn it." he took other gifts he had gotten me over the course of our relationship and pawned those too since leaving my house. He says he wants to work on his anger and stay with me and still loves me but then in the same breath he will say its all my fault that he's in this situation now. Takes no responsibility for how he treats people and somehow always manages to be the victim.
I'm tired but I dont know if I'll regret losing him in a few months when everything is said and done. He said he can take me to court because of "Squatter laws" because I asked him to leave overnight. I own my house, he doesn't and we never signed anything. He has been incredibly rude about money too, he only contributed $750 a month in total (For rent, groceries and all the bills combined) and I paid for everything else. We had a fight about that too because he said that was "way too much". I said good luck finding anything that cheap today out there by yourself.
When we talk about getting married, he says we need to sign a prenup because he never wants to pay alimony and he buries his gold coins in the backyard and would never tell me where they are even if we were to get married. These things are so unromantic to say and makes me not even want to marry him in the first place if he's going to be so selfish about his money already.
Am I making the right decision by breaking up with him or should I try to make this work because he is saying sorry and wants to do better?
submitted by LavenderCsalt to BreakUps [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 19:11 NewLexican Engineering gameplay doesn't make me feel like an engineer

Since backing SC in 2013, I've advocated that profession-based gameplay should be the cornerstone of building the player experience.
After playing the 3.23 experimental mode and watching (for the first time) the CitCon 2023 segment, I can say engineering gameplay doesn't do a thing to make me feel like an engineer.
  1. Engineering gameplay is mostly devoid of engineering principles.
  2. What seems to be the intended source of "fun" won't work at all scales.
Addressing the second point first, even watching the devs play, it seems the design is leaning into the idea of frenetic action, bouncing from crisis to crisis, being a driver of "fun." On a larger, multi-deck ship like a Hercules, this design can deliver. But what happens to the frenetic feeling on smaller ships like a Connie or Freelancer where moving from crisis to crisis means walking a few meters or simply turning your body a little?
Returning to the first point, with repairing ship components - Resource Management would be a topic for another discussion - CIG has delivered Barotrauma's gameplay in a spaceship. Instead of using a magic wrench to fight flooding and repair equipment in a submarine, we have a magic pistol to fight fires and repair equipment in a spaceship.
Back in 2021, I authored a post on the importance of authentic-feeling profession-based gameplay in which I deconstructed and rebuilt mining as an example. If the mining gameplay mechanic had instead been introduced as part of hacking gameplay - siphoning data off a network while keeping the data flow rate high enough to finish in time but low enough to not alert intrusion detection systems - nobody would have questioned it. Nothing about mining gameplay makes it feel specific to working on large rocks.
Now, like rocks, ship components are non-descript containers filled with numbers, and repairing them entails no more than pointing a magic beam that improves the health number. Where's the engineering?
Instead, imagine if ship components had two, three, or four printed circuit boards (like your computer's motherboard) in them. Conductive lines, called traces, connect bobs and doodads that combine to fulfill some function.
The repair process would entail using the cutting tool to remove the damaged area of a board. The board is scanned, and a mobile 3D printer - maybe a couple of levitating dinner plate-sized discs - prints a replacement patch and inserts the bobs and doodads. The engineer affixes the patch, which fuses into place. They then use an extruder attachment on the multitool - think a plumber's caulking gun - to fill conductive RMC in groves that indicate the trace locations.
Simple enough that doing routine maintenance doesn't become drudgery while being involved enough that performing it in a stressful situation is non-trivial.
Simple additions like a curing time for the 3D-printed patch material could add more engineering flavor to a mission's story.
"Captain, engines are functional again, but I'll need to refurbish the whole thing when we get back to port if we put too much stress on them now."
Imagine now if each quadrant of a board fulfilled some function. This cluster of bobs and doodads together perform power regulation. Another cluster does signal focusing, etc. With this design, an engineer could restore partial functionality in time-sensitive situations.
"Captain, the shields are back online, but someone will have to babysit the power triangle if we run them at more than 50%."
Further, imagine if the actual layout of traces, bobs, and doodads on the board mattered in the context of simple principles: coherence and interference.
Coherence - E.g., to perform the function of power regulation, these seven bobs and doodads must be physically located near enough to one another.
Interference - Bobs, doodads, and traces all generate fields of "interference" in both electrical (current) and thermal domains. Too close proximity impacts wear and tear and can result in failures.
So, we have a tug-of-war between competing objectives on a surface with limited real estate. Factors like total trace length could impact performance, power efficiency, or whatever.
How does this design impact the player experience?
While mining a lucrative field of rocks in the upper atmosphere of a gas giant, an Orion's sensors go down. The engineer finds two traces showing overcurrent damage in adjacent locations on board #3. Repairs are made, but forty minutes later, another failure. More precisely, the same failure. The engineer suspects something about the environment is causing an electrical arc between the two traces.
Knowing there's a lot more wealth to be mined at the planet, the captain contracts a Reliant Sen to survey the upper atmosphere of the giant. The Sen captain delivers a computer simulation of the atmosphere to the Orion's engineer who plugs it into their workbench. Testing reveals that, in this environment, the interference in the "current domain" for traces is exaggerated. So, the board layout needs to be adjusted to move the closest traces further apart; time to play tug-of-war.
Engineering gameplay that makes you feel like an engineer...
For me, too much of too many profession-based systems is being abstracted at too high a level to deliver engaging gameplay. Moreover, abstraction at a high level means the universe lacks fundamental structures that can tie different professions, and players, together.
Imagine in our gas giant example, if the failure wasn't caused by forty minutes of accumulated electrical damage, but by waves of high-energy particles arriving in 40-minute intervals. The Sen pilot may want to investigate the source of the particles, but she'll need an engineer's solution for her ship first. Furthermore, an Orion crew member may think to ask, "If these particles are wrecking our equipment, what are they doing to our bodies?"
Miners, engineers, scientists, and doctors all writing their personal chapters in a larger, authentic, and connected story.
Crossposted to Spectrum.
submitted by NewLexican to starcitizen [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 19:10 Fun-Interaction6049 Needing advice..I (41M) stopped talking to my gf(33F) of 7 years stopped talking for 6 months and we talked it out and decided to get back together only to find out she is still messaging someone else. Should I stay or go?

Apologies for any grammatical errors or formatting errors as I’m not the best at it.
So I all started back around August in 2023 when all this happened. I wasn’t in the right mindset as there were a lot of things going on in my life with losing family members to finding out my mother had dementia to just not wanting to have any sort of outside life and be a homebody. Just out of the blue I feel I just disconnected myself from everything and everyone and was just going to work and nothing else. I stopped talking to my gf without any reasoning after we got into an argument that I can no longer remember what it was about but turned out to be the “trigger” for me to just give up. By this time we had already been together for 5 years and living together for 3 years as well. So it got hard for us as we were both stubborn and did not try to talk after this fight. As time progressed through the months we just stopped talking and did our own thing while still living together and avoiding each other as much as we could. We didn’t talk much other than bills that needed to be paid and purchasing food as well. We somewhat talked a month or so later and mentioned that we were just civilized roommates nothing more and this continued until February of this year. During that time she would go out with friends and dates from what we discussed when we got back together and I would just stay home collecting myself and slowly getting back together by playing COD with friends almost every night.
Once February came around after valentines I decided to talk to her to see what our future would be in terms of selling the house working it out or whatever the case may be. Strangely enough she asked me if I wanted to join her at the movies that day and of course me being the stubborn asshole I am told her no also because I had already made plans to go the the movies with a friend. So she still ended up getting ready and I asked her if she was still going to the movies. She said no that she was going to her mom’s house to see a movie with her niece. I get ready and head out and lo and behold I see her walking to the theatre with another guy. This make my heart drop and realize she lied to me about going to her moms. She notices me and waves me down like nothing and just tells me “oh I didn’t know you were coming to the movies. I’m just here with a friend too” so I tell her what about her moms and said oh no I wasn’t planning to go and ask if I wanted to meet him. Wanting to call her bluff I decide to say no and drive off. She continues to call me and Ignore her and go with my friend to eat instead. I’m definitely devastated by this considering I was going to talk to her about making up and seeing if we still had a future or not. I understand that we were not together during this time but seeing it actually hurt more than just knowing. The day comes to an end and we decide to talk that night. We talked about the 6 months that passed what we did(not in detail) and if we really wanted to work things out. We agree to work it out and move forward.
During this time it’s still fresh and I notice the guy is still texting her and possibly others she dated a month before. I bring it up to her to discuss it and I ask her to please let them know we are trying to work it out and not to think she is available. Time passes by for about 2-3 weeks after we talked. The guy is still messaging her and i bring it up again that it’s not right and that she should say something. So she finally decides to meet with him in person to let him know that she is trying to work it out with me and that she needs some space. Only I come to realize later this month(May) that she told him she needs time for herself and did not mention trying to work it out with me.(could this be a red flag?)
As time moves on we have little hiccups here and there and I start to feel this guy feeling that doesn’t sit right with me. Not sure if what it is but it makes me feel down and my mind starts to wonder. I can’t help to wonder that she is still messaging someone else and I begin to investigate. This is all happening in May and by this time we are good(or so we say but don’t feel it) and by this time I find out that her close friends which is two do not know about us working it out and a new close friend she made at work as well does not know about us. Which is fine I guess but it kinda bothers me because her new close friend has a friend that introduced her to him to see if they can hit it off. This triggers something for me and I ask her why hasn’t she mentioned that we are talking but her excuse is she’s afraid that she’s going to look stupid in front of her friends if I leave her again like I did 8 months ago..I understand where she is coming from but I we discussed earlier I tell her I am devoted to her and want to make this work because I love her. Maybe I am looking too much into this but I figured by now she would’ve mentioned something that we are trying to work it out and are back together again since February.
So a couple days ago I get that feeling again and try to push it away but I still have that gut feeling something isn’t right. This past Friday we decide to go to the movies and make plans. All of a sudden she decides not to go to a certain theatre and go to a different one instead. I figured oh nice we get to go to another one since they serve food there so it’s a bit fancier. Before we go we decide to have lunch and then go. During that time she decides to switch it again and say to go back to the original place. So I don’t mind and say yes so she goes to the app to get the tickets. I get up to get a refill and decide to watch over as she does and she brings to panic. She tells me she wants a refill too even though her cup is almost full. I tell her she doesn’t need one but insists that she does but I tell her no and play if off as I am leaving. As I turn back I notice she is messaging someone and then goes in to cancel a ticket the guy made for her. I knew about her going to another movie after ours with her friend and the group but didn’t know she was messaging him directly. I ignore it rather than bring it up for now as I do not want to start an argument or ruin the date we are having until tonight. The night continues and we go home and go to sleep. Meanwhile my mind is all over the place and I can’t stop thinking about it and why is she messaging him.
The next day we make plans to do our own thing and she has plans with her friend. My mind is racing as I start to think if she is actually going out with her or with this guy who I find out later she invited to the movies..the plan was to go to lunch while I work on some things at the house and then meet up to take the dog to the vet. She leaves and I begin to let my mind unravel and by this time I’m just trying to keep my sanity but I decide to do something stupid. I call the restaurant to see who she is with. Probably the lowest I’ve gone to creeper status..but my mind and my heart are just in so much pain thinking of that time I caught her with another guy. I find out it’s just both of them so I am relieved.
She comes back for lunch and I head over to pick up the dog to go to the vet only to find out the waitress told her I called the restaurant to see if she was there.(again my fault because I told her I had a surprise for her 🤦🏼‍♂️) she asks me if I called the place and I said yes. My thing is always about honesty and loyalty. I own up to what I did for the reason I did it and apologize. She tells me she got embarrassed because her friend who has been against me since day one just tells her that she should move on and not do anything with me. Which I understand but all my gf has told her is the negative things and not about us trying to fix it and her being caught doing things as well. Which is fine because any friend will obviously take their side.
By this time we stop talking and she stays at her mom’s house to cool off. I message her asking if we could talk but this time I want to let it all out. How I feel what I’ve seen, how this is emotionally, physically, and mentally draining me. We’ve had these talks before and even before we got back together as well. I have given her an out that is she does not want to be with me then we can break up and move on with our lives. We do still owe on the house but I have even told her we can sell it or I can just leave and my part of the house would be lost because I do not care for the money. I would just find an apartment and live my life and she can continue talking to the man or men and pursue what she wants with them. I’ve mentioned that I am willing to work it out because I know I still feel something for her and I want to spend my life with her if she is willing to as well. Multiple times has this conversation been brought up and in the end she says she loves me and wants to work it out.
She comes home changes I get her a drink and snacks and turn off the tv. I had already written down key points of what is bothering me and what I feel is hurting us and me. So I explain to her that i do not like how she has kept us a secret that we are trying to work things out with her friends. It’s been two months and they still believe she is single and having dates and this is something that even though they are probably against me on she should still be mentioning something. She tells me that she’s afraid to look like an idiot and will tell them later. Am I wrong on this?
Then I mention how I saw the messaging and sometimes in the middle of the night she gets a message from this guy. I know that her friend tried to hook them up even though she says she didn’t and also mentions that he is just a friend of the group. I tell her it’s not right because he doesn’t know either that’s she is with me and trying to make it work and how she was acting weird that day I saw the messages. She says there is nothing going on but I feel otherwise and I know I’m not wrong. I tell her again that if she is interested in him then we can break up and she can pursue it if she decides. I ask her who it is and she tells me the name and is the guy that they were trying to hook up together. The guy messages her every morning and I’m sure throughout the day as well. What I can’t wrap around my head is that why would she do this if she is commuting to me and yet is disrespecting me in this way even after I ask her if they are messaging and she says no. But yet I happen to see the messages between them and she still denies it. During our talk it goes back and forth and tears and coming down. So I ask her to show me her phone messages and she begins saying no and that she doesn’t want to when I easily offer my for her to go through as I have nothing to hide. She finally agrees to do it and I see a whole lot of messages but she only shows me photos that they share of her dog, nice and Katy Perry. Only showing me what she wants me to see even though they have messaged throughout the day. I also noticed that she had the messages on silent as well and her excuse is that so I don’t get mad if I see his name pop out. We go back and forth on this and I tell her if she is interested in him then to leave me and we can move on. I can’t explain it any more clearer that we cannot be together if she is having something with him. I tell her I want her loyal, trustworthy, and honest with me if we are going to make it work. She says she still wants to work it out since she says she loves me but is just afraid that she will get hurt. Which I understand but I am willing to make up for what I did and prepared to spend my life making up for what I did and being happy. Moving forward after everything we have a clean slate and see how this goes..I asked her if he messaged her yesterday and she says he did about Katy Perry and just random text. Come this morning she happen to leave her phone unlocked and I noticed he messaged her good morning and responded to her conversation they had as it seems that she deleted the text she sent him and he responded this morning. I’m so confused as she tells me she loves me and wants to be with me and shows me affection, support and everything else we discussed as if nothing is wrong but still messages this guy on the side while they are on silent. I also noticed she deleted the chat history and started fresh as well since Sunday. idk what to do anymore I am so torn right now…i wanted to spend my life with this girl and only to find out she is still doing this and also may be going on a trip with her friend and their group which includes this guy as well without me since she wants to be able to spend time with them separately which I’m fine with me as I have no problem with that other than the guy she’s been messaging will be there. What can I do..I feel like I have already been transparent about how I feel and what is expected but to see these messages and even when asking her absolutely it she says no makes me wonder wtf is going on…why not just leave me. I don’t want to be checking her phone when I get a chance as I feel that puts me just as guilty. Please help.
Should I just move on and start new? Or should I continue to be with her and see how it goes?
submitted by Fun-Interaction6049 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 19:10 ThrowAwayGirl2021 PCOS & Cycle

F 5”2’ SW:213 CW:201 3rd dose on 5/20/24 First period:10 years old. PCOS diagnosis:13 years old. Very very irregular periods. Haven’t bled in over 10 months. When I do bleed, it’s very heavy and huge clots. Sometimes I’ll bleed non stop for months. I can never guess when it’s coming or know how long it will last. No pattern unless I have an IUD.
I am spotting.
Is the shot making me regular? Or is losing weight and eating better bringing my cycle back?
I’m so nervous and scared that I’m doing something wrong or this shot will give me the cycles I used to have. I don’t want to have an IUD but I also don’t want to live irregular anymore.
My hope is im treating my body better and that’s why my body is responding.
Advice?
submitted by ThrowAwayGirl2021 to Semaglutide [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 19:10 Allvah2 Wuthering Waves install

Anyone had any luck with the Wuthering Waves launcher, in preparation for tomorrow's launch?
I can get it added as a non-steam game, do the download, etc, I know how to locate the compatdata folder with Proton Tricks, and I add the launcher to my library after, but then it wants to download the game again. I know with Genshin Impact I ended up needing to create a symlink from the launcher to the game install folder that the installer created. But I honestly can't recall the steps or seem to find them again, and my initial attempt did not work at all.
Anyone else get it working? Some assistance would make you my new favorite person.
submitted by Allvah2 to SteamDeck [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 19:07 AdOk3759 Pheatmap, how to extract the features that display a certain pattern?

I have plotted normalized protein abundance across 9 conditions. I have 2.7k proteins. Some clusters display a clear and interesting pattern in their abundance distribution. As of now, I don't know which proteins are displaying that pattern. I know I can extract the dendrogram and use cutree to decide how many clusters I want (e.g., say I see three clear patterns, I could cut the tree at k = 3 and extract the proteins that belong to cluster 1, 2 and 3). The problem is that this works only if you have 3, clear, unique patterns and no noise. On the other hand, in my heatmap, 10-20% of the features belong to a cluster that display a pattern, and another 10-20% of the features belong to a different cluster also displaying a pattern. The rest of the features don't display any pattern, which makes a lot of noise. Basically k=3 is too low, and only with a great amount of trial and error I would find the k that would give me a number of clusters, where the two clusters that display that pattern are included with no noise. I hope I explained myself.
submitted by AdOk3759 to RStudio [link] [comments]


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