Timestamp: https://imgur.com/a/lFMFbDG
Clearing out a bunch of stuff that's either brand new or like new from builds that never got off the ground. Prices below are shipped to your door. Please give me a couple days to get everything out:

• Riflespeed Gas Block Model RS7519 0.750" - BRAND NEW and unopened with Riflespeed mid-length straight gas tube - Was going to use this for a 12.5 mid-length build but ended up buying something else instead - $200 shipped for both
• 12.5" Mid Length Sionics Chrome-line barrel - Standard Port, BRAND NEW. Would go great with Riflespeed above :) - $190 shipped
• Daniel Defense 30mm Double Ring Scope Mount - BRAND NEW, good for 30mm LPVOs - $145
• A-Tac Single Point Sling - BRAND NEW - $10
• HK German A2 Stock - BRAND NEW, never fired - $175
• Trijicon ACOG 4×32 KillFlash Anti-Reflection Device - BRAND NEW, authentic Tenebraex kill flash - $40
• STNGR USA Cyclops 3-Slot M-Lok Rail Cover Panels (3 pack) - BRAND NEW, mounted and removed - $25 shipped
• Streamlight ProTac Railmount HL-X Pro Flashlight - BRAND NEW, never fired. While the light itself is new, I did file the interior of the MLOK mount so it would better fit my PWS rail but it only removed a small amount of anodizing and this is not visible at all when the light is mounted. Everything included as from factory - $110
• Bootleg Four Position Adjustable Carrier - Have less than 100 rounds of use on this, works great - $130 shipped

No trades . PP F&F, Venmo, Zelle - NO NOTES
Please PM me if you DIBS, chat is disabled.

https://youtu.be/QTySWA6R6Q4
Color Types Wire 7.20 introduces the Color Type. This new type allows you to be much more flexible with your color management in Wire. The Color In and Color nodes will now produce a color type. Additionally we've added the Color from RGB and Color from HSB nodes that increase your color making capabilities. The Analogous Colors and Complementary Colors nodes will produce a color palette for you, based on the input color. The Color Type can be unpacked to get individual components of the color. The much requested Sample Texture node has also arrived with this update, which allows you to sample colors from a texture. As cherry on the cake, we've updated effects like Hue Rotate, Greyscale, AddSubtract and Bright.Contrast to accept the Color type, allowing you to apply these effects directly to colors.
Hardware Stats For Resolume 7.20 we've updated the way the hardware stats and FPS are displayed in Arena, Avenue and Wire. The "Show FPS" option in the "output"-menu is gone. The option is renamed to "Show FPS & Stats" and has moved to the "view"-menu. The hardware stats are now visually the same in all three programs. The hardware stats are displayed in a bar at the bottom of your interface and display the FPS, together with GPU, CPU and RAM usage. We've also greatly increased the accuracy of these stats on macOS.Node
Stats Panel Continuing the trend of monitoring your performance, We added a new panel to Wire: the stats panel. In this panel you can track how the load is distributed among your nodes. This is very useful to find where the bottlenecks are in your patch.
CTRL + F Node Search Searching is a very fast way to find the node you're looking for instead of zooming & panning your way around a big spaghetti patch. Hit CTRL + F on Windows and ⌘ + F on macOS. The Stats panel will focus and you can start typing straight away. All nodes matching your search query will be listed. Click the one you're looking for and it will be highlighted in the patch and the Node panel.
Improved Text and Mesh rendering The Text Render and Mesh Render nodes are now much faster when rendering a lot of instances so you can now go crazy and take it up to 11. Or 11.000 if you really want to set your hair on fire. Tutorial
Overhaul Wire 7.20 is a great point of entry if you want to learn how to work with Resolume's node based coding environment. We've overhauled the entire tutorial section to get you up and running with Wire in no-time.
Strokes Effect Built entirely with the new Wire features, this new effect in Arena & Avenue gives a nice van Gogh painterly look by applying angled brush strokes. You can clone it and make your own variations in Wire.

Hello everyone
With F1 24 being announced and being copy and paste again (basically just an F1 23 DLC at this point), I thought I'd write this post to maybe, just maybe, help (in any way) the next future F1 games become more realistic, which I think should be the main goal of these games (and also to express my deep disapointment with how the series is going).
Before we begin: this is completely based on my opinion, you don't need to agree with me, specially because I know some stuff may be considered completely delusional, as EA would never implement these things. With that out of the way, it's light out and away we go.
Here are additions/ideas that would turn the F1 game into an incredible experience:

• Cooldown lap and pit lane control: they're kinda the same thing (to an extent) so that's why it's just one topic. It would be very fun to actually drive in the cooldown lap and park the car in the pits, as well as drive the car through the pit lane as we make our stops or serve penalties. It's not something hard to implement, and you could also make it with the option to turn them off, so everyone gets to play the way they want. It would also add realism with stuff such as unsafe release penalties.
• Custom liveries: I cannot stress this enough. Why not let players customize their own liveries and share with the community? This would add a whole new layer to customization and replayability, as we already have in Need for Speed (which is also from EA) and Gran turismo for example. Not hard to do but given the game's history I guess we're not getting this one so soon.
• Preseason testing: this would be very interesting. It could be something like free practice, but bigger. It would help the R&D development before the season actually started, so you could (or not) have a better car. It would also be optional in the career settings.
• Contracts: they do need an overhaul as soon as possible. Driver academies don't actually mean anything. You can literally be a Ferrari academy driver and join Red Bull from the get go, it doesn't make any sense. We need something like IRL, where a team would preferably sign a driver from its own academy. Also there is no performance measurement, it says that "Red Bull expect their drivers to fight for the podium", but even if you don't do this, you can't be fired. I won't even start on the 6 month contract period. Also as a member of a certain team driver academy, it would be very fun to participate in F1 sessions when in F2, to get experience and also boost your image (acclaim, as it's called).
• Custom calendar: another element of replayability and creativity. Let us make a season with many races as we want, in any track order we'd like. A season starting in Abu Dhabi and ending in Australia, for example, would be very fun. It adds variety to the game and makes it so players can keep enjoying career and MyTeam modes without get bored with the same format.
• New tracks: Sepang, Hockenheim, Jerez, India, Korea, Istambul Park... the list goes on. New tracks (not actually new, but you get the idea), combined with custom calendar would make for infinite possibilities in both career and MyTeam. EA can even add them as a DLC post launch if they want to. Another brilliant addition concerning tracks would be different layouts, such as Sakhir outer ring, or even different versions for the tracks as an option, such as pre 2003 Barcelona, for example.
• MyTeam car model: the car model stays the same for all 10 seasons of your MyTeam journey, without a single modification. As the seasons go on, your car gets progressively faster, but it LOOKS exactly the same. R&D improvements don't reflect in the car model at all. It would be nice to have a customizable car, where you can actually change the design to improve aero or brake cooling. IRL we had teams looking to reproduce what Red Bull made with the RB19, and that is a great example of how things could be in game: as the regulations change, different models become better than others, and as you progress with R&D, your car can get closer to what would be the fastest aero design. Minor cosmetic things like different steering wheel models would also be very nice.
• Improved AI: we know that we need better AI behaviour when racing and fighting for position, but the problem goes way beyond that. The AI makes ZERO mistakes in free practice and qualifying, so you can never experience events such as IRL when someone crashes in qualifying and a red flag can decide an unlikely pole sitter. There is also a very old problem that needs to be addressed: the AI doesn't know how to behave in practice when you want to let it overtake you. It just sits there by your side until you decide to go and then follows you. There are no penalties for blocking/impeding in both practice and qualifying.
• MyTeam engine owner: I've seen many people asking for this one and I agree, it would be very fun to have our own engine and be able to supply it to other teams. At the beginning it would be inferior to other engines, but with the possibility of becoming the best later on. We would also be able to supply our engine to other teams and make more money out of that partnership.
• Regulation changes and loopholes: regulation changes (and R&D as a whole) should be more complex than just redeveloping some parts (also because eventually you have so much points that it doesn't even matter anymore). Also loopholes would be an interesting addition, like the DAS system or the F duct (not these exact mechanics, but something like that). They could work as a new development that is so OP that FIA needs to judge whether it's legal or not and whether it will be banned immeadiately or in next season. Any team can develop a loophole, including the AI.
• Crashes: remember when Williams gave Sargeant's car to Albon and he was unable to race? Well this is an extreme example but what if we had something similar in the game? If you crash the car (not minor wall taps, I mean big shunts) the team should take time to fix it and in some cases you may not have the car completely fixed for qualifying, for example (if you happen to crash in FP3). Also big crashes could cause the driver to step away due to injuries and let the reserve driver take his place (this also means that you can now hire a reserve driver in MyTeam).
• Interviews: the interviews are a joke at the moment, they don't even ask questions of things that actually happened during the race (or session), they are random and completely basic. We need questions concerning crashes, race pace, qualifying, post race interview based on how high you finished, market specutalations, etc. The possibilities here are endless.
• Radio and team orders: at the moment the radio is basically useless. The engineer only speaks when you gain/lose a position or when you're near your pit stop. We need more active communication, where he informs us on opponent's pace, our pace, track limits, strategy discussion, and speacially: team orders. It would be very interesting to have our teammate hold someone for us to pull away, give us toe in qualifying, or stay in DRS range for us not to get overtaken. With that said, I think the first issue that needs to be addressed as soon as possible is the pit stop: our teammate ALWAYS double stack and fucks his own strategy. There should be a way to prevent that from happening through communication.
• Formula 2: starting your career in F2 is fun and add realism, but it could go beyond that. Competing in the F2 championship helps you get a seat in F1, depending on your performance: if you perform well you're more likely to get a seat, but if you don't, you may even need to stay for one more season. Also, if you choose not to start in F2, an option could be to have an F1 car test: you would drive a certain team's car and try to impress them, if you do well, you get a seat.

As you guys can see, all these additions would be more oriented towards realism. I addressed changes to career mode and MyTeam, since those are the only modes I really play, but I know that online modes are in need of some changes as well.
Please feel free to comment what you think as well :D

Timestamp: https://imgur.com/a/XoryGbe
Hey everyone, if I am off on pricing let me know and i can adjust!
Daniel Defense 14.5 comolete upper non P/W - Total $1,700 shipped - never used this build at all, never fired I would like to keep all parts and accessories together at this time, no parting out unless I can find buyers for each part. The parts list includes: Dan Def. 14.5 upper $750 Surefire 4 prong FH - $150 Surefire warden FDE - $180 2x kac rail covers - $20 Magpul afg2 fde - $25 Kac m4 folding front iron sight - $200 Kac 200-600 rear iron - $140 Daniel Defense grip n Rip charging handle - $50 Dan Def. bcg complete assembly - $190 Again, I'd like to keep all of these parts together with the upper. I am asking $1700 shipped for the bunch. The DD rubber rail covers will come with the upper for free.
PSA 10.5" 5.56 NATO 1:7 NITRIDE UPPER - WITHOUT BCG OR CHARGING HANDLE - Per PSA it was a blem and has a little nick on the FSP. See the photos for detail. It was never shot, brand new besides some cosmetic wear on the charging handle latch and Delta ring from changing the handguard. The handguard is a plastic no brandname quad rail, comes with 2x Kac rail panels. Flash hider is included, asking $130 shipped for this
Mp5 A3 stock - this is an authetic HK A3 stock from 1978 - it has some finish wear and has some wobble. Asking $200 for the stock due to the wobble.
If you want any more pictures please let me know. Thank you!
Paypal F&F only with no notes please for payment. Dibs gets it. Thank you!!

The story revolved around a black goo infecting a once colorful city, and you play as a stickfigure to rescue the city from the goo. You had to destroy the goo base to restore peace, and you could change colors to traverse the goo's lair to rescue the city. The red color had fire for combat, blue had ice for platforming, and yellow made you invincible but you couldn't move. You changed levels through an elevator at the end of every level, and sometimes there were blocks that you could only stand on through changing to your stickman's respective color.
also your character was named rob or something, just wanted to point that out

I’m a middle manager - I’m 2nd from the bottom in my department and manage a small team.
I was told today after my team worked a conference this weekend that I couldn’t provide them flex time to make up for the extra 12 hours they each worked, despite that being the policy every time I worked an event since I’ve started in February. They’ll also be working another conference this weekend. Our work at these conferences is very important to our bottom line and is VERY external, so being in good spirits and not completely burnt out is actually very important from a business perspective, which is why I encouraged them to take time off this week.
I think that’s utter bullshit personally because every other place I’ve worked offered flex time in exchange for these kind of events. Even the stingiest places did and my current workplace is big on advertising “work/life balance.”
I’ve tried making that argument but was somewhat shut down by being told that as exempt employees sometimes the expectation is for them to work over 40 hours and that it is the “nature of our work.” There is absolutely nothing on fire this week that anyone on my team needs to address and flex time would have only a positive business outcome. It’s also bizarre because my boss has been obsessed with retaining my team despite their low pay and has been on me to make sure they’re 100% happy. I’m also afraid that with so many of these conferences being “voluntold” situations, they’re going to start saying no to attending them if they’re expected to work mulitiple 6 day weeks with no extra pay or time off. I mean, I would if I were them.
It’s also worth noting that I, unlike my team, was encouraged to take flex time by my boss after this weekend and was told that taking flex time after working a conference was considered business as usual. Now it’s a sudden 180…except that later in the conversation, I mentioned having to do something at my son’s school tomorrow and I was told “oh, don’t bother logging that, just take the time.” She’s also taking flex time this week. So for us, it’s fine, but for some strange reason she’s throwing down the gauntlet on the idea of the team taking that same time. I’m wondering if one of my employees told someone in another department that’s stingier with flex time that they were taking time and it got back to my boss so she’s doing her due diligence by telling me they don’t officially have flex time.
There’s also a weird element here where myself, my boss and everyone my boss manages (who she has allowed this privilege to) are white while I manage a team that includes people of color. So beyond just being blatantly unfair and a poor business decision, it’s also absolutely terrible optics and one of my employees is very active in racial equity initiatives, so it could really turn out badly if they notice the injustice of the inconsistent policy.
Thoughts on what you would do? So far I’ve encouraged my team to at least work remote this week and if they don’t do shit while remote, I don’t care. I’m planning to talk to each of them in 1:1s about how they should just take the time they need between conferences for laundry, errands, etc. and just don’t advertise to anyone that they’re doing so since I imagine that’s what put it on my boss’s radar in the first place.
Any other ideas/feedback?

Howdy Folks,
I come bearing good news!
We're excited to announce the release of a new experimental branch for Manor Lords, version 0.7.965. This experimental update brings significant gameplay changes and numerous improvements.
Important Notice: Before you switch to the new beta version of the game, it's absolutely crucial that you back up your save files. Failing to do so could result in the potential loss of your progress. The new strings are not localized yet and stability hasn't yet been thoroughly tested. Some balancing changes are still experimental.
To access your saves on Steam for Manor Lords.

1. Press Win + E
2. Paste %USERPROFILE%\AppData\Local\ManorLords\Saved\SaveGames into the search bar.

To discuss this build, please join the official Discord server https://discord.gg/manorlords. You'll find a channel for discussing the ongoing pre_release branch.
You can read Slavic Magic's full Steam announcement here.

How to Access the Experimental Branch:

1. Open Steam
2. Right-click on Manor Lords in your library
3. Select Properties
4. Navigate to the BETAS tab
5. Enter the password: veryNiceBasket
6. Select "pre_release" from the "Beta participation" dropdown
7. Wait for the game to update (restart Steam if needed)
8. Launch the game

Full Changelog for Version 0.7.960 -> 0.7.965

What's inside:
This update focuses primarily on balancing and bugfixes. Key changes include:

• Militia Squads: You can now hire 6 militia squads even if you already have a retinue and mercenaries employed. Future builds will connect this cap to the Lord's rank.
• Sheep Breeding: The sheepbreeding development branch has been capped, and sheep no longer spawn exponentially.
• Fields, Harvests, and Fertility: Significant improvements have been made to field overlays, crop prediction, and ox and worker behavior for enhanced accuracy and optimization.
• Barter and Trading: Numerous fixes implemented; on-foot traders can now carry 5 items per trip.
• King's Tax and Trade Route Costs: These have been toned down from the levels introduced in version 0.7.960.
• Loserville Bug: Fixed the "Loserville" mercenary bug.
• Marketplace Distribution: Improvements made to the distribution within the marketplace.
• Experimental Feature: Added a "Allow market stall setup" toggle to prevent workers/inhabitants of certain buildings from setting up market stalls.
• Construction Reserve: You can now set a construction reserve for buildings using planks for crafting, like the Joiner's shop.

Gameplay & Balance:

• Capped sheep breeding to 1 new lamb every 10 days max.
• [Experimental] Villagers are only allowed to fetch water from the well nearest their home, except in case of a fire.
• [Experimental] Yield will never increase past 100% growth to keep gameplay intuitive.
• [Experimental] Even at 0% fertility, a tiny yield is still possible.
• [Experimental] Max yield per plant increased from 2 to 4, although the Hunting Grounds policy still reduces it by half.
• [Experimental] Plant yield rate reduced by half to encourage early harvest in emergency modes.
• The militia squad limit is now 6, regardless of retinue or mercenaries employed; future connection to the Lord's rank planned.
• [Experimental] Doubled the fertility regeneration rate on fallow fields and from fertilization.
• [Experimental] Slowed all plant growth by around 30% for balanced gameplay between field and vegetable crops.
• [Experimental] Tree growth rate slowed by around 30% upon player requests for more impactful forest management.
• [Experimental] Archer range increased by 1.5x with damage also increased from 12 to 15.
• [Experimental] Cost of opening new trade routes returned to linear scaling.
• [Experimental] Carrying capacity of on-foot trading post workers increased from 1 to 5.
• [Experimental] Royal tax restructured: No tax for the first 5 years, then 1 Treasury per citizen after 5 years, 2 Treasury per citizen after 10 years, 3 Treasury per citizen after 15 years.
• [Experimental] Adjusted granary and storehouse worker slots to unify to 3 families for lv1 and 6 families for lv2.

Minor Changes:

• Removed optimization where only every nth plant affected the fertility values due to display errors.
• Improved accuracy of fertility overlay colors and crop yield predictions.
• Added missing tooltips to minomajor trades.
• Enabled setting "trade rule" for advanced trades without an established route; items not available will show as NA.
• Reworked the construction reserve system to include various goods like planks.
• Optimized inventory array functions.
• Enabled disallowing certain families or workplaces from setting up market stalls.
• Tuned how "current region" is calculated in the UI for more comfortable building on the edge between two player-owned regions.
• Ensured iron and clay deposits do not generate on steep terrains.
• "MODDED" may now display after the version number to aid bug reporting.

Crash Fixes:

• Fixed a crash related to deleting a building when pathfinding obstacles are being verified.

Bug Fixes:

• Addressed issues with employed traders going to trade points without an open trade route.
• Corrected early movement of farm workers to transport tasks despite available crops.
• Resolved inaccurate predicted yield displays.
• Fixed rotation issues in villagers after dismounting.
• Addressed respect of work area limits by farming oxen.
• Fixed blurry appearance of gilded aventail houndskull helmets in the retinue editor.
• Corrected non-drawing of the forest mask.
• Fixed bandit camps respawning on loading due to unsaved "lastBanditCampSpawnedDay."
• Ensured villagers set up market stalls to sell their produce like vegetables.
• Corrected the wrong apple basket carry animation.
• Fixed wealth transfer issues during barter.
• Ensured bartering traders return the correct number of items based on barter value and carrying capacity.
• Addressed overpacking by bartering traders in their origin region.
• Resolved trading post exports not proceeding after the trader reaches the destination.
• Corrected the distribution of multiple instances of the same good type to a single plot, which left outlying houses undersupplied.
• Fixed crop rotation to fallow causing farmers to harvest invisible itemID_0, which stopped supply dumps from being cleared.
• Addressed issues with villagers staying at homes indefinitely if a bandit camp is spawned, thinking the region is under attack.
• Ensured proper saving of mercenary company arrival regions.
• Stopped granary workers from stealing ale from the tavern.
• Fixed interrupted livestock exports due to sheep herd behavior.
• Ensured livestock trader jobs trigger import tasks when buying livestock from another region.
• Corrected the missing "hunger" popup artwork.
• Fixed a typo in the credits list.

Cosmetics:

• Tuned field dirt UV wiggle to make the huge vegetable gardens less wavy.
• Improved the precision for snapping terraforming meshes like mines or sawpits to the ground.
• Made leaf clumps smaller and disabled the parallax mapping to reduce distortions.
• [WIP] Updated the visit mode character model for the green lady portrait to be female, still in progress.
• Cleaned up combat animations.

Thank you for playing!
Greg Styczeń, Lead Developer, Slavic Magic

General Information

• Release date: May 23, 2024
• No. of players: Single System (1)
• Genre: Role-Playing, Adventure
• Publisher: Nintendo
• ESRB rating: Everyone
• Supported play modes: TV mode, Tabletop mode, Handheld mode
• Game file size: 5.1 GB
• Supported languages: Dutch, English, French, German, Italian, Japanese, Korean, Simplified Chinese, Spanish, Traditional Chinese

Overview (from Nintendo eShop Page)

Join Mario and friends on an epic paper adventure
A classic story unfolds on the Nintendo Switch system.
Collect the Crystal Stars before the bad guys do
The X-Nauts are after the treasure behind the Thousand-Year Door! With a map from Princess Peach—and the help of a few locals—Mario must journey through a colorful world made of paper to find it first.
The stars of the show
Surprises abound in this deep and engaging tale, where everyone’s got something to say and it’s often not what you’d expect! Here are just a few of the colorful characters you’ll encounter along the way.

• Mario: (A man of few words, Mario rarely speaks and prefers to let his hammer do the talking.)
• Peach: “I cannot believe this! You X-Jerks kidnapped me before I could even begin to enjoy my vacation!”
• Bowser: “Princess Peach and the legendary treasure will be MINE!”
• Goombella: “My name's Goombella. I'm a junior at the University of Goom. Nice to meet ya!”
• Koops: “My tummy's getting upset... Let's find the guy in charge before I lose my nerve!”
• Madame Flurrie: “I shall ever love the stage! I must feel the spotlight shine on me again! I MUST!”
• Yoshi: “I can hold my own! I'll swallow any opponent whole, honest! Just leave it to me!”
• Three Shadows (Beldam, Marilyn, and Vivian): “Mmmmwee hee hee hee! Time to go to work, lovelies!”
• Lord Crump: “OK, you pests! One pummeling, coming up...with extra fists!”
• Grodus: “All will kneel before the X-Naut regime! And then I, Grodus, will build a new world!”

Know when to fold ‘em
Master your badges and timing-based attacks to impress the audience in a theatrical twist on turn-based RPG combat. Make use of all the abilities that come with being cursed—er, conveniently made of paper—like folding into a plane to cross big gaps or turning sideways to slip through narrow openings.

• Badges: Earn and equip badges to customize your stats and abilities.
• Special Moves: Collect Crystal Stars to unlock powerful moves.
• “Cursed” Abilities: Find a Black Key to unlock a chest and get “cursed” with abilities that turn Mario into a plane, a tube, a boat, and more!

Leaf through a storybook world
Explore a colorful paper world with charming characters in every fold.
A classic turns the page
Twenty years after the original game on the Nintendo GameCube™ system, this version for the Nintendo Switch™ system has revamped graphics, an updated soundtrack, and gameplay additions like updated quick-travel pipes and a Partner Ring to swap characters in a jiffy.

Reviews

Aggregators

• Metacritic - 90
• OpenCritic - 90

Articles

• COGconnected - 90 / 100
• Checkpoint Gaming - 9.5 / 10
• ComicBook.com - 4.5 / 5
• Console Creatures - Recommended
• Daily Mirror - 4 / 5
• Digitec Magazine - German - 4 / 5
• Enternity.gr - Greek - 10 / 10
• Game Informer - 8.3 / 10
• Glitched Africa - 9 / 10
• God is a Geek - 10 / 10
• IGN - 9 / 10
• Nintendo Life - 9 / 10
• Press Start - 9.5 / 10
• SECTOR.sk - Slovak - 8.5 / 10
• Saudi Gamer - Arabic - 9 / 10
• Spaziogames - Italian - 8.2 / 10
• Stevivor - 9 / 10
• TheSixthAxis - 9 / 10
• VGC - 5 / 5
• Video Chums - 9 / 10

^{This list was last updated via exported from OpenCritic at 9:57 AM ET}
Cheers,
The /NintendoSwitch mod team

This is my first reddit post, although I have been a long time lurker of many subreddits. I am 23 years old and an only child. I am not a native english speaker, so please forgive any weird formatting or any spelling/grammar mistakes.
As the title states, my mom died ... and I am currently writing this to try and process this whole situation. I've tried to section all the paragraphs in chronological order, to make reading easier. Sorry for the extremely long post - I just needed to get it all out.
We only just celebrated her 60th birthday back in february. She did all the cooking, cleaning and planning without any trouble - even down to picking out the perfect napkins and flowers for her white and gold theme.
My mother was without a job. She had been jobless for almost 2 years now, after she was fired from her old cleaning job due to frequent sick days because of stomach cramps and pain. She was seen by a doctor back in 2022 for her stomach aches, and they found no physical cause - hence why we concluded it must've been due to stress. The stress and stomach pains subsided after she'd been fired. So we thought no more of it.
In march she was doing a 4-week internship in a local supermarket to see if she might've been a good fit for a permanent paid position. This is common practice for unemployeed people here in Denmark.
My mother started having stomach pains again during this internship, soon followed by back pains as well. She figured this was due to her spending most of the day sitting as a cashier in an uncomfortable position. My mother wasn't very tall, so she had trouble reaching the floor pedals that control the cashier conveyer belt.
In the beginning of april, she went to the doctor. Her stomach and back pains hadn't gone away although the internship was over. Her doctor also concluded it was most likely due to her uncomfortable working position, and that it would pass in a few weeks time. The doctor did some bloodwork, and found that she was severely lacking vitamin D, but nothing else seemed concerning at the time.
In the middle of april, her pains had only gotten worse, and she went to the doctor again. Her doctor did more bloodwork, and did a phisycal exam of my mothers stomach. Her doctor ordered a CT scan to check for anything serious.
19th of april. I accompany my mother to the hospital for her CT scan. We get told that we'll have the results in a week or so. My mother is not looking good when I pick her up at the bus station. She is more pale than usual, and has trouble walking at her usual pace.
23th of april. My mother received a referral to a meeting at the hospital with a doctor and nurse, to discuss the results of the CT scan. This referral is sent from the hospitals cancer department. My mother and I speak on the phone, she is concerned, but I tell her that this type of referral must just be standard pratice, and that she shouldn't worry untill we have spoken with the doctor. I cried that night.
25th of april. The day before her meeting with the doctor, I received a phone call from my mother. She tells me that she had fallen while at home, but that I shouldn't worry. I, of course, worry.
I pack my things and leave for my mothers house, I live an hour away by bus. When I finally arrive my mother seems okay-ish, but the house is another story. My mother is normally known for being a clean freak, and her house has always been clean and organized, But it wasn't anymore.
Her kitchen was a mess, and the dishwasher hadn't been empited or loaded for at least two weeks. Her bathroom is even worse, and I won't even begin to describe the state of the toilet it self. It is a sight that will horrify me for the rest of my life. I cleaned everything, while my mother rested.
My mother had also started sleeping on the guest bed, saying her own was too uncomfortable for her.
While cleaning the bathroom, my mother wakes up. Despite her state, she says she wants to help. But before I can even tell her no, my mother has another fall. Her legs essentially just crumble beneath her, and she falls backwards and lands head first on the floor. We argue back and forth about calling an ambulance, but she refuses to let me - so I don't, even though I should have. I guess I still respected my moms authority too much.
My mother lives alone, as my parents are divorced (they are very good friends though). My mother refuses to let me call my dad and tell him about this whole situation. She is stubborn and too proud to admit defeat.
26th of april. We take a taxi to the hospital. The taxi driver has a help my mother into the car. During the carride my mother says very little, but seems slightly delirious and very tired. When we arrive at the hospital, I quickly borrow a hospital wheelchair for my mother. She is almost unable to walk unassisted at this point.
After waiting for a while in the waiting area, a nurse comes and guides us to a meeting room. My mother is very tired at this point, and still delirious, and I have to handle most of the conversation with the doctor.
The CT scan results showed Pancreatic cancer. The cancer had already spread to her liver and abdomial cavity.
I had read about this cancer a few days prior, trying to figure out what was wrong with my mother. I knew what this meant, and I knew that it was effectively a death sentence. The doctor told us that an operation was out of the question, since the cancer had already spread. And due to the clearly weak state of my mothers health, chemo would also not be offered, as it would finish her.
I told the doctor of her two falls and the state of her home, and that she would not be safe on her own. The doctor had her admitted to a nearby bed department for stomach- and gastrointestinal surgery patients.
The hospital did a ton of bloodwork on my mother when she got admitted, and everything was off. All numbers were either too high or dangerously low. My mothers health was in fact so bad, that I was told she was a heart attack risk. I was also told that if a heart attack happened, she would not be brought back - as it would only prolong a very short and painful life.
I called my dad.
27th of april. My mother slept most of the day.
28th of april. My mother had another fall during the night, trying to get to the bathroom.
29th of april. My dad shows up to the hospital. He wasn't able to get off work until now, as he works in the other end of the country. He is shocked to see my mother in this state. We are told once again by a different doctor that nothing can be done. They are looking into getting her a spot at a nearby hospice.
The rest of the remaining week is spent in hospital. My dad and I are by my mothers side every day. She doesn't leave her hospital room, apart from a few times a day for a smoke break outside. My dad and I take her outside in a wheelchair, which she needs help to get in and out of.
Her bloodwork is showing some slight improvements, but she is still having trouble with infections and receives a lot of antibiotics. She eats like a mouse, but drinks a lot of fluids.
My mother is often very confused or tired most days. She gets referred for an MR scan, to see if the cancer has spread to her brain, or if one of her falls has caused permanent damage. Lucikly the MR scan shows that nothing is wrong with her brain.
She gets confused about her diagnosis a few times, thinking that she had brain cancer instead due to the MR scan. I have to remind her a couple times about what the doctor actually said.
6th of may. My mother seems to have stabilized somewhat so my dad has gone back to work.
7th of may. I get told by the hospital staff that my mother is to be transferred to a different hospital, which is one hour away. I become very upset by this news, and unfortunately yell at one of my mothers nurses in frustration. I yell at her that It'll be harder for me to get to my mother in time if something were to happen. I am ashamed of this childish behavior, as the transfer was the best desicion for my mother in hindsight.
I leave with my mother as we get transferred to the new hospital and their department of palliative care.
I am very ashamed by my behavior to my mothers old nurse, as this department for palliative care was truly the best place for my mother. She seemed very satisfied and happy to have been transferred. They have a large garden with wild flowers, and lovely staff. And my mother got a much bigger room all to herself. She also meets with their physical therapist, who helps my mother relieve some of her pain.
My mother and I have dinner together in the evening in her hospital room. My mom is her old self, although with some delayed speaking. I unfortunately have to rush a bit when leaving, as to not miss my bus home, so I quickly say goodbye to her and leave.
8th of may. In the morning on my way to the new hospital, I received a phone call from her new doctor. My mothers liver has suddenly started to fail due to the cancer. When I arrive, she is asleep. I am told she wont wake up again.
I called my dad, but he wont arrive until the evening, due to the distance from his workplace.
I spend most of the day in my mothers hospital room, listening to her sleep. She occasionally attempts to cough in her sleep, but it mainly just sounds like yells. It is terrifying. The nurses give her pain medication and some sleep medication to help her body relax.
My dad arrives in the late evening. We drive to my mothers house and stay the night there. We spend most of the late evening looking at pictures and scrapbooks of my mother, and packing a bag with clothes for her, for when she passes.
When prepareing the guest bed for my dad, we find a blanket that my mother slept on. It is stained, matching the previous state of the bathroom. We throw the blanket out.
9th of may. Mom is sleeping. Dad and I spend the day at the hospital, but we don't sit in her hospital room. It is too eerie and uncomfortable. We check on her occassionally. Towards the evening, her breathing becomes slightly more rapid and quick. But the nurses tell us to go home. There is no reason for us to sit by her side during the night - as it'll only make it worse for us.
10th of may. I wake at 6.12 am to my phone ringing. It is a nurse. My mother has passed away in her sleep at 6.05 that morning due to liver failure. My dad and I drive to the hospital. I am the first to see her body after the nurses prepared and dressed it in the clothing we picked.
(warning: the following paragraph may be slightly upsetting to some readers)
It it eerie and uncomfortable to see my mother like this. A symptom of pancreatic and liver cancers is that your skin will yellow. Something that I hadn't noticed in my mother till now. I cant help but think that she looks like a wax doll, although I feel horrible for thinking it. I finally touch her hand, after gathering the courage to, almost like I am afraid to distrub her. Her hands are cold, and only get colder as I sit by her side. I am supposed to say my goodbyes to her, and tell her how much she means to me, but in this moment I am speechless. I can't say anything, even on my mothers deathbed. I feels wrong to speak to a corpse. I should've said those things while she could hear them instead. I kiss her forehead before I leave the room.
17th of may. Funeral. The church and casket was beautifully decorated with colorful flowers, like my mother had requested. She didn't want anything white or depressing. I cried all the way through the funeral service, stopping only when it was time to carry the casket out. My dad on the left side, and me on the right, and some other family members behind us. Purple rain by Prince was played on the church piano as we carried the casket. I knew the casket would be heavy, but nothing prepared me for the sheer weight of that thing.
21th of may. Today. I don't really know what to think of my mothers death. Some days I almost forget that shes gone or that all this has been happening, until something reminds me of it.
In a way, I am thankful. Of course I didn't want my mother to die, but I'm glad that her suffering wasn't prolonged for months while she slowly withered away to cancer. And I'm thankful that my mother didn't live to suffer from alzheimers, like her own mother. And I am glad that if anything, my mothers death has brought my dad and I closer.
But at the same time, I am angry that she didn't get to live more of her life. She was only 60 years old, and should have had 20 more years at least. If she at least was 70, it might've been easier to lose her but I doubt it.
I think mostly of all the things she will miss out on, which saddens me the most. I am 23 and my mother wont get to see most of my life or my achivements. If I have kids, she'll never meet them, and she I get married, she'll never see it. My 24th birthday is coming up soon, and I don't know how I'll handle that day without my mother for the first time - or christmas for that matter.
I want my mom.

It’s finally time for this truly crazy season to come to an end. 46 has been such a journey, starting out with one of the worst pre-merges of all time, a bit of a boring early merge, then suddenly building momentum like crazy and delivering a great 5-episode run. I’ve enjoyed this season, and it’s currently ranked 3rd out of the new-era seasons for me, under 45 and 42. Anyway, time for the final predictions.
🦎5th Place: Maria. 🦎
Through out the new era, a pattern has emerged with its fifth placers: players who, on the island, are big threats, likely to win if they get to the end, and are shown to be solid strategic players, but with edits that are smaller than they should be, given their perceived win equity on the island; players like Lindsey (42) Lauren (44) and Julie (45), Maria fits in that lineup perfectly.
After her blindside of Charlie failed, she’s left with no allies and is the biggest target by far. I think Maria is going to go out unanimously. There is absolutely no reason for anyone to keep her.
🦎4th Place (Fire Making Loser.) : Ben. 🦎
Ben is going to lose to Kenzie in fire. I’ve been predicting this for awhile, and while I’m no longer as certain of this happening as I used to be, to me, it still seems like what the season has been building up to for a while now.
Kenzie and Ben both got fire making content extremely earlier in the season and has colored how I’ve seen their relationship all season; Kenzie will no longer be the comforter but will be the competitor; taking out one of her closest relationships of the season and sending a strong supporter to the jury. I see this has her finally showing off a “killer instinct” or something along those lines. Ben will be the winning vote for Kenzie in an incredibly close final tribal council.
Oops. I’ve spent Ben’s section talking about Kenzie. Ben is a supporting character in the story of Kenzie’s win. And no, I don’t think he’ll break any sort of tie.
🦎3rd Place: Liz.🦎
Liz lands here by default. I’m leaning towards Charlie winning the final immunity challenge, and sending Ben and Kenzie to fire with the main goal of getting Kenzie out. We saw in episode 12 that Liz is horrible at fire, so I think Charlie won’t pick her; also, she’s just an easy person to beat at the end.
I don't think Liz is well liked or respected by the majority Nami jury–who I’m guessing will be bitter at her for whatever reason–and will be seen as a goat. Which I don't think is really fair; Liz has played an okay game, but against Charlie and Kenzie, she won't get a single vote.
Liz has been a great character and is responsible for the most iconic moment of the season. IM PISSED that Liz has been overlooked by the editors. I’m hoping she has a good finale.
🦎Second Place: Charlie.🦎
The strategic figure head of the season, top-ten new-era player, and Swiftie, Charlie, is going to get second place. It’s really hard to have Charlie at second; I’d love to see him win; he truly deserves it; and on any other new-era season, I think he does win, but just not this one.
The only reason I think Charlie doesn’t win is purely from reading the edit.

1. His social game isn’t as prevalent in his edit, which leans way more toward the strategic. When considering Kenzie's edit, that’s really bad, as it gives Kenzie a clear reason why she wins over Charlie—that being her better social game.
   
2. A few weeks ago, Charlie talked about not wanting to be seen as “one of the bad people,” which makes me think that the jury might be bitter.
   
3. After such a visibly dominant winner like Dee, Charlie and Maria’s complete control of the game wasn’t shown off to the extent it could have been.
   
4. Kenzie has one of the strongest edits of the new-era.
   

That being said, I don’t think Charlie’s edit is as bad as people are making it seem; sure, I don’t think it’s as strong as Kenzie’s from a story arc or personal content perspective, but I don’t think we’ve really been shown explicitly why Charlie loses. My main line of thinking is that the jury is going to be bitter, or that Charlie’s final tribal speech doesn’t do his game justice. The final tribal council will be a battle between the strategically dominant Charlie and the social butterfly Kenzie. It’ll be a close vote. this is the highest I’ve ever been on a Charlie win happening. I don’t think it’s impossible as others do, but Kenzie’s edit is just too strong for me to really consider anything else.
🦎The Winner Of Survivor 46: Kenzie.🦎
As predictable as it is, Kenzie seems to be locked in for a win. Kenzie has one of the strongest new-era edits and one of the strongest edits for a woman ever. Kenzie has been consistently visible throughout the entirety of the season. Her pre-merge did an excellent job of setting her up as a strong social player. We were consistently shown her reads on players and situations and her reactions to the game. Come the merge, we got more of the same, which was odd considering Kenzies lack of importance to the merge game over all. She’s been playing, no doubt, but to have as many confessionals as Charlie and more than Maria doesn’t exactly make sense, unless she wins. From the start, Kenzie has been a strong narrator.
We also get a strong view of Kenzie’s relationships. We know how she feels about the majority of the players on the jury. Which strengthens her social player storyline.
We know that: She was close to Hunter, and after Tevin was blindsided, she became his number one. She was extremely close to Tiffany all season. They were arguably the second-strongest duo of the season. She had a developing relationship with Venus, and they were growing close up until her eventual blindside. She was done with Q after his antics and all the drama he brought, but they did have a working relationship on Yanu.
Speaking of Yanu, the majority of the Yanu comeback content was framed from Kenzie's perspective. She got that really strong opening in episode two about staying strong and making it to the end.
Overall, Kenzie is the total package. She’s got the storyline, the narration, the social game, a jury full of friends, the backstory package, a challenge win, an episode dedicated to erasing her negativity (episode 7), she’s never had a zero confessional episode, and most importantly, the edit to back it all up!!!
The reign of the mermaid dragon is here! 🧜🏻‍♀️🐉

Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory

Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.

All Buyouts are listed in cash value.

KNIVES

★ Butterfly Knife Lore (Factory New), B/O: $7194.77

★ Butterfly Knife Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2025.74

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★ M9 Bayonet Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $557.87

★ M9 Bayonet Stained (Well-Worn), B/O: $529.41

★ M9 Bayonet Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $465.39

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★ Talon Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $1295.27

★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth (Minimal Wear), B/O: $746.28

★ Karambit Bright Water (Field-Tested), B/O: $688.15

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★ Flip Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $547.93

★ Flip Knife Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $476.69

★ Flip Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $278.18

★ Flip Knife Black Laminate (Well-Worn), B/O: $258.83

★ Flip Knife Urban Masked (Field-Tested), B/O: $181.64

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★ Stiletto Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $686.04

★ Stiletto Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $665.41

★ Stiletto Knife, B/O: $601.39

★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $418.25

★ Stiletto Knife Night Stripe (Field-Tested), B/O: $227.80

★ Stiletto Knife Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $194.96

★ Stiletto Knife Safari Mesh (Field-Tested), B/O: $192.79

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★ Nomad Knife Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $518.11

★ Nomad Knife Scorched (Field-Tested), B/O: $169.78

★ Nomad Knife Forest DDPAT (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $166.88

★ StatTrak™ Nomad Knife Blue Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $335.79

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★ Skeleton Knife Stained (Well-Worn), B/O: $442.05

★ Skeleton Knife Urban Masked (Minimal Wear), B/O: $426.24

★ Skeleton Knife Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $314.03

★ StatTrak™ Skeleton Knife Fade (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2361.28

★ StatTrak™ Skeleton Knife Urban Masked (Field-Tested), B/O: $376.53

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★ Ursus Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $557.12

★ Ursus Knife, B/O: $471.42

★ Ursus Knife Blue Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $212.37

★ Ursus Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $187.66

★ Ursus Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $178.18

★ Ursus Knife Ultraviolet (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $155.13

★ Ursus Knife Boreal Forest (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $124.26

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★ Huntsman Knife Black Laminate (Minimal Wear), B/O: $204.83

★ Huntsman Knife Black Laminate (Field-Tested), B/O: $184.50

★ StatTrak™ Huntsman Knife Lore (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $224.11

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★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $2142.02

★ Bowie Knife, B/O: $230.44

★ Bowie Knife Damascus Steel (Factory New), B/O: $209.20

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet (Minimal Wear), B/O: $180.51

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $131.03

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★ Falchion Knife Night (Field-Tested), B/O: $132.54

★ Falchion Knife Urban Masked (Well-Worn), B/O: $112.81

★ Falchion Knife Scorched (Field-Tested), B/O: $108.81

★ Falchion Knife Forest DDPAT (Field-Tested), B/O: $107.82

★ Falchion Knife Safari Mesh (Field-Tested), B/O: $107.46

★ StatTrak™ Falchion Knife Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $143.08

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★ Paracord Knife Crimson Web (Minimal Wear), B/O: $486.48

★ Paracord Knife Blue Steel (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $163.12

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★ Survival Knife Blue Steel (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $138.26

★ Survival Knife Night Stripe (Field-Tested), B/O: $131.03

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★ Gut Knife Sapphire (Minimal Wear), B/O: $1127.79

★ Gut Knife Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $286.17

★ Gut Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $246.55

★ Gut Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $240.77

★ Gut Knife, B/O: $210.49

★ Gut Knife Lore (Field-Tested), B/O: $194.22

★ Gut Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $151.51

★ Gut Knife Blue Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $124.94

★ Gut Knife Rust Coat (Well-Worn), B/O: $118.99

★ Gut Knife Boreal Forest (Minimal Wear), B/O: $109.80

★ StatTrak™ Gut Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $237.96

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★ Shadow Daggers Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $264.92

★ Shadow Daggers Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $253.03

★ Shadow Daggers Tiger Tooth (Factory New), B/O: $237.22

★ Shadow Daggers Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $153.40

★ Shadow Daggers Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $144.42

★ Shadow Daggers Blue Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $105.20

★ StatTrak™ Shadow Daggers Damascus Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $150.46

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★ Navaja Knife Fade (Factory New), B/O: $365.99

★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $228.93

★ Navaja Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $227.43

★ Navaja Knife Slaughter (Factory New), B/O: $209.06

★ Navaja Knife, B/O: $203.16

★ Navaja Knife Case Hardened (Well-Worn), B/O: $132.57

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Factory New), B/O: $121.69

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $109.95

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $100.41

★ StatTrak™ Navaja Knife Fade (Factory New), B/O: $369.01

★ StatTrak™ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $109.95

GLOVES

★ Sport Gloves Amphibious (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2394.67

★ Sport Gloves Omega (Well-Worn), B/O: $572.33

★ Sport Gloves Bronze Morph (Minimal Wear), B/O: $338.88

★ Sport Gloves Big Game (Field-Tested), B/O: $323.66

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★ Specialist Gloves Marble Fade (Minimal Wear), B/O: $1652.07

★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike (Field-Tested), B/O: $599.14

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web (Well-Worn), B/O: $231.57

★ Specialist Gloves Buckshot (Minimal Wear), B/O: $126.21

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★ Moto Gloves POW! (Minimal Wear), B/O: $996.99

★ Moto Gloves POW! (Field-Tested), B/O: $383.31

★ Moto Gloves POW! (Well-Worn), B/O: $276.00

★ Moto Gloves Turtle (Field-Tested), B/O: $180.28

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★ Hand Wraps CAUTION! (Minimal Wear), B/O: $502.29

★ Hand Wraps Giraffe (Minimal Wear), B/O: $180.73

★ Hand Wraps CAUTION! (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $178.32

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★ Driver Gloves Queen Jaguar (Minimal Wear), B/O: $181.01

★ Driver Gloves Rezan the Red (Field-Tested), B/O: $101.66

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★ Broken Fang Gloves Jade (Field-Tested), B/O: $127.88

★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point (Minimal Wear), B/O: $124.55

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★ Bloodhound Gloves Guerrilla (Minimal Wear), B/O: $127.94

★ Hydra Gloves Case Hardened (Field-Tested), B/O: $102.55

WEAPONS

AK-47 X-Ray (Well-Worn), B/O: $478.95

AUG Hot Rod (Factory New), B/O: $425.83

StatTrak™ M4A1-S Hyper Beast (Factory New), B/O: $413.95

M4A4 Daybreak (Factory New), B/O: $309.51

StatTrak™ AK-47 Aquamarine Revenge (Factory New), B/O: $305.43

AK-47 Case Hardened (Well-Worn), B/O: $196.38

StatTrak™ M4A4 Temukau (Minimal Wear), B/O: $174.64

P90 Run and Hide (Field-Tested), B/O: $167.03

AWP Asiimov (Field-Tested), B/O: $153.33

Souvenir SSG 08 Death Strike (Minimal Wear), B/O: $140.00

M4A1-S Printstream (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $124.70

StatTrak™ M4A1-S Golden Coil (Field-Tested), B/O: $117.48

AWP Asiimov (Well-Worn), B/O: $115.97

StatTrak™ Desert Eagle Printstream (Minimal Wear), B/O: $112.96

StatTrak™ AK-47 Asiimov (Minimal Wear), B/O: $110.85

Souvenir M4A1-S Master Piece (Well-Worn), B/O: $102.42

AK-47 Bloodsport (Minimal Wear), B/O: $100.53

Trade Offer Link - Steam Profile Link - My Inventory

Knives - Bowie Knife, Butterfly Knife, Falchion Knife, Flip Knife, Gut Knife, Huntsman Knife, M9 Bayonet, Bayonet, Karambit, Shadow Daggers, Stiletto Knife, Ursus Knife, Navaja Knife, Talon Knife, Classic Knife, Paracord Knife, Survival Knife, Nomad Knife, Skeleton Knife, Patterns - Gamma Doppler, Doppler (Phase 1, Phase 2, Phase 3, Phase 4, Black Pearl, Sapphire, Ruby, Emerald), Crimson Web, Lore, Fade, Ultraviolet, Night, Marble Fade (Fire & Ice, Fake FI), Case Hardened (Blue Gem), Autotronic, Slaughter, Black Laminate, Tiger Tooth, Boreal Forest, Scorched, Blue Steel, Vanilla, Damascus Steel, Forest DDPAT, Urban Masked, Freehand, Stained, Bright Water, Safari Mesh, Rust Coat, Gloves - Bloodhound Gloves (Charred, Snakebite, Guerrilla, Bronzed), Driver Gloves (Snow Leopard, King Snake, Crimson Weave, Imperial Plaid, Black Tie, Lunar Weave, Diamondback, Rezan the Red, Overtake, Queen Jaguar, Convoy, Racing Green), Hand Wraps (Cobalt Skulls, CAUTION!, Overprint, Slaughter, Leather, Giraffe, Badlands, Spruce DDPAT, Arboreal, Constrictor, Desert Shamagh, Duct Tape), Moto Gloves (Spearmint, POW!, Cool Mint, Smoke Out, Finish Line, Polygon, Blood Pressure, Turtle, Boom!, Eclipse, 3rd Commando Company, Transport), Specialist Gloves (Crimson Kimono, Tiger Strike, Emerald Web, Field Agent, Marble Fade, Fade, Foundation, Lt. Commander, Crimson Web, Mogul, Forest DDPAT, Buckshot), Sport Gloves (Pandora's Box, Superconductor, Hedge Maze, Vice, Amphibious, Slingshot, Omega, Arid, Big Game, Nocts, Scarlet Shamagh, Bronze Morph), Hydra Gloves (Case Hardened, Emerald, Rattler, Mangrove), Broken Fang Gloves (Jade, Yellow-banded, Unhinged, Needle Point), Pistols - P2000 (Wicked Sick, Ocean Foam, Fire Element, Amber Fade, Corticera, Chainmail, Imperial Dragon, Obsidian, Scorpion, Handgun, Acid Etched), USP-S (Printstream, Kill Confirmed, Whiteout, Road Rash, Owergrowth, The Traitor, Neo-Noir, Dark Water, Orion, Blueprint, Stainless, Caiman, Serum, Monster Mashup, Royal Blue, Ancient Visions, Cortex, Orange Anolis, Ticket To Hell, Black Lotus, Cyrex, Check Engine, Guardian, Purple DDPAT, Torque, Blood Tiger, Flashback, Business Class, Pathfinder, Para Green), Lead Conduit, Glock-18 (Ramese's Reach, Umbral Rabbit, Fade, Candy Apple, Bullet Queen, Synth Leaf, Neo-Noir, Nuclear Garden, Dragon Tatto, Reactor, Pink DDPAT, Twilight Galaxy, Sand Dune, Groundwater, Blue Fissure, Snack Attack, Water Elemental, Brass, Wasteland Rebel, Vogue, Franklin, Royal Legion, Gamma Doppler, Weasel, Steel Disruption, Ironwork, Grinder, High Beam, Moonrise, Oxide Blaze, Bunsen Burner, Clear Polymer, Bunsen Burner, Night), P250 (Apep's Curse, Re.built, Nuclear Threat, Modern Hunter, Splash, Whiteout, Vino Primo, Mehndi, Asiimov, Visions, Undertow, Cartel, See Ya Later, Gunsmoke, Splash, Digital Architect, Muertos, Red Rock, Bengal Tiger, Crimson Kimono, Wingshot, Metallic DDPAT, Hive, Dark Filigree, Mint Kimono), Five-Seven (Neon Kimono, Berries And Cherries, Fall Hazard, Crimson Blossom, Hyper Beast, Nitro, Fairy Tale, Case Hardened, Copper Galaxy, Angry Mob, Monkey Business, Fowl Play, Anodized Gunmetal, Hot Shot, Retrobution, Boost Protocol), CZ75-Auto (Chalice, Crimson Web, Emerald Quartz, The Fuschia is Now, Nitro, Xiangliu, Yellow Jacket, Victoria, Poison Dart, Syndicate, Eco, Hexane, Pole, Tigris), Tec-9 (Mummy's Rot, Rebel, Terrace, Nuclear Threat, Hades, Rust Leaf, Decimator, Blast From, Orange Murano, Toxic, Fuel Injector, Remote Control, Bamboo Forest, Isaac, Avalanche, Brother, Re-Entry, Blue Titanium, Bamboozle), R8 Revolver (Banana Cannon, Fade, Blaze, Crimson Web, Liama Cannon, Crazy 8, Reboot, Canal Spray, Night, Amber Fade), Desert Eagle (Blaze, Hand Cannon, Fennec Fox, Sunset Storm, Emerald Jörmungandr, Pilot, Hypnotic, Golden Koi, Printstream, Cobalt Disruption, Code Red, Ocean Drive, Midnight Storm, Kumicho Dragon, Crimson Web, Heirloom, Night Heist, Mecha Industries, Night, Conspiracy, Trigger Discipline, Naga, Directive, Light Rail), Dual Berettas (Flora Carnivora, Duelist, Cobra Strike, Black Limba, Emerald, Hemoglobin, Twin Turbo, Marina, Melondrama, Pyre, Retribution, Briar, Dezastre, Royal Consorts, Urban Shock, Dualing Dragons, Panther, Balance), Rifles - 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How can we stop going around in circles with these corrupted nihilists? (basically an extreme religious-nut but in reverse; no meaning, no value, no good/bad, nothing matters) I've compiled some of my thoughts/comments.

But first If you are not caught up yet:
1 Re: Vegan Gains ...The Militant Vegan Raffaela Interview - (May 12, 2024)
2 Vegan Gains is a sub-Jerkivest [5/11/24]
3 Moral Realism Debate w/ Inmendham - (May 16, 2024)
4 WTF #899: The vegan gains debate ... Value realism - (May 19, 2024)
5 Vegan Gains ...Denialism is the only nihilism [5/19/24]
also saw this Controversial Topics with Vegan Gains (Horse Riding, Bivalves, Depression, and much more!) - (May 11, 2024) ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ (he thinks in terms of some dogmatic religious brain-rot morality source of right/wrong, but a kind of reversed/opposite conclusion of it's absence, nihilism)
the very reason religion was invented in the first place was because humans by nature had a value-engine driving them & NEED for meaning, that's the irony. value gave rise to religion, religion never needed to grant value. The fact people can't grasp this. 🤦 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

Now onto the various arguments, sorry how long and out of order it is But the idea is to provoke you coming up with better ideas/arguments, and if you can critic and strenghen my and ultimately inmendham's arguments. The GOAL should be to Create a formal argument AKA a syllogism, modus ponens. Something clear and concise that can't be taken out of context or misinterpreted, as happened with the debate...

On the subject of Efilism, tread lightly, the philosophy and argument extends beyond merely focusing on suffering; it also includes the critical issue of consent violation. Its proponent and creator, Inmendham, argues for value realism, which contrasts starkly with the notion of subjective morality which I find illogical. While objective morality is full of baggage... often linked to outdated religious doctrine so on face value it's not fun or easy subject to broach... many contemporary non-religious ethicists ground it in realism. Personally me, inmendham and others see no use for the term "morality" as it's tainted. value-realism is the subject. Is it a value-laden universe or not?
it is not necessary to call TRUE/REAL right or wrong Objective, because if objective is defined as mind-independent than without minds there's nothing right/wrong to happen to, therefore THE discussion should be just regarding what is TRUE or NOT, subjective doesn't necessarily mean mere contrived opinion or preference but can be logical conclusion, e.g. you can conclude 2 + 2 = 4 as we understand these concepts of numbers to model reality but can you call it objective or mind-independent 2 + 2 = 4, or that math exists? Not really. As you require a modeler to model reality, an observer to make the observation, a mind to come to such accurate conclusions. To me, claiming there is no real right or wrong is akin to asserting that moral standards and ultimately the subject of Ethics is as fictitious as religion or Santa Claus, you just believe it cause you want to or have preference to. Why maintain this pretense if it's all a mere fabrication / contrivance?
Regarding subjective judgments such as determining "What's the tastiest potato chip or the most beautiful painting?", these are not factual assessments about the things themselves, The question itself is misleading, because the thing itself has none of those qualities objectively, Instead, such qualities are OUTPUTs generated by the interaction of our bodies and minds with these INPUT items, the input is quite arbitrary/irrelevant, unlike the highly meaningful & distinct output generated of positive or negative experiences. You might get off more on certain female body part than another, it doesn't matter, the output positives & negatives is more or less same among individuals and that's what's relevant... not what specific fun or hobby gets you or them off or pushes their buttons.
It can be TRUE that a certain food item is the tastiest to that personal individual, or gross to another, and we can talk about intersubjective truths with averages overall. But one's experience of what is tastiest for them doesn't contradict another's, they can both be true for them individually, as you are likely not even sharing the same exact experiences to judge differently. And one's very perception or framing of the experience changes the experience itself, no way around this truth. Some people find bricks tasty or edible, just how their brain is wired.
It's important to recognize that differing opinions of personal taste do not inherently conflict in the way ethical contradictions do. With ethical matters, asserting that two diametrically opposed views are equally valid is problematic, either one is right and the other wrong, or both might be based on flawed reasoning. Pretending 2 opposing ethical views can be both equally right/true/correct is utter contradictory mush, either one of them must be right / wrong, or both are contrived meaningless nothing opinions, just made up. you wouldn't say whether one believes in god or not IS mere personal opinion/preference and such 2 opposing views can be equally right at same time, that's utter contradictory nonsense, by saying 2 opinions that gRAPE is both good & bad at same time are equally right opinons, right loses all meaning and you might as well say neither is right and both are wrong, they each have their own contrived fairytale delusion.
Now with Ethics of right / wrong, it does not depend on one single individual's preference or opinion, but taken as the whole, if you violate one without consent you still have to account for that since you are seemingly putting the weight on the preference otherwise preferences are utterly meaningless and irrelevant.
ALSO, Do you call whatever you prefer what's right, or do you prefer to try to do what is right?
Do you prefer to seek out what is the right most accurate conclusion given all the facts of reality, or contrive right to be what's in your preference/interest or personal gain?
I don't think VG or most these talking heads understand value-realism (problematic events within subjectivity/a non-physical but REAL reality of the mind). Obviously there's no objective divine or otherwise prime-directive moral-rules we must follow. Unfortunately Religion has poisened the conversation so much with archaic ideas and mushy terms like 'Morality'. Understand there is no 'moral truth', let alone an objective one, ofc if you pigeon-hole me or all realists into defending such nonsense it's easy to refute them. What I'm interested in is subject of Ethics, and to start whether or not value/problematic events exist or do not exist.
Here's a silly question by nihilists: "why is suffering bad?"
Response: How do you identify suffering? Based on the fact that it feels bad. (Yes subjectively) Just as we can subjectively understand 2+2 = 4
Or this: "prove suffering bad, objectively"
Also question-begging, obviously it is subjective. If such badness cannot exist mind-independently by definition.
"Prove suffering is bad, objectively"
is begging the question, because...
It strawmans / assumes the badness must be bad mind-independently, it isn't therefore, it isn't bad.
Answer this, evolutionarily do animals PERCEIVE being tortured skinned alive nail in the eye as BAD, or does it impose torture which we RECOGNIZE and define as Bad by definition?
If true PAIN/torture isn't bad then why does it exist evolutionarily? Answer: (problem -> solution) mechanism which functions as ability to learn & improved survival, this mechanism was reinforced over time as it worked.
inmendham & realists like myself argue: it is the case Descriptively, Objectively evolution IMPOSED Prescriptive-value-judgements onto animals which function as a learning/problem solving mechanism. Fact is, the invention of 'PROBLEM' is something I/we/animals had nothing to do with... (no-free-will-choice) but are simply byproduct in observation of this fact.
If real PROBLEM(s) didn't truly exist then Arguably the word and conceptual understanding it points 👉 to wouldn't exist either. As if beings could be truly blind never seeing colors/vision yet pulling the idea out of thin air and conceiving of such a thing, how preposterous, that'd be giving human creativity/imagination way too much credit. The only nihilist argument then is that by evolution we & all feeling organisms are somehow ultimately deluded or have illusion of problem where there is none, which I find deeply implausible. Run the torture study/experiment a million times putting people's arm in the fire "yep still bad". Filtering out people who lack ability to feel pain of course.
As evolutionary biologists even states pain is a message to the animal "don't do that again". Can't get descriptively prescriptive more than that.
Are You Getting It?
The Ought is literally baked in as an IS. The is-ought gap to be bridged is a complete Red-Herring, yes you can't derive an Ought from an IS, because if you oughtn't do something, then it can never be BAD... problematic/BAD/torture can't mean anything if it doesn't scream OUGHT-not.
All you have to agree to is due to evolution it created torture which is decidedly negative/ inherently BAD, by definition. Otherwise it wouldn't feel bad or be torturous at all... THEN ask yourself, how can something be BAD yet it's not BAD to create that BAD?
This is Checkmate. These are irrefutable Facts & Logical deductions.
So much for it all being false-perception, the very fact placebo patients perceive an otherwise harmless laser as BAD/painful makes it so. It's the TRUE reality in their mind and you can't deny that fact. It's also a fact believing a pain isn't really all that bad can make it so, but this doesn't make these value-laden experiences NOT real/true.
As per evolution, your body/brain's mechanisms must generate & impose a prescriptive-value-judgement / problematic event within your mind,
It's nagging, complaining, telling you keeping your hand on the hot stove is a mistake/problematic/bad. (not in itself but as a consequence)
I believe this brain making me write all this... is making an accurate assessment when it observe certain events to be problematic/bad where it's happening which is within subjectivity, where's your evidence my perceptions are fooling me or I'm somehow deluded? I witnessed the crime take place and you were nowhere near the crime scene yet you have the authority to claim otherwise as fact? (You are not simply agnostic to my problem suffering but a De-nihilist)
Once one accepts this evolutionary fact we can move on to more complicated questions regarding ethics, like how do weigh the good & the bad, conflicting preferences, etc. Otherwise, it's all pointless & futile, like arguing bivalves or wild-suffering with a non-vegan. They're just not on that level yet and it's a waste of time.
revised version of my other comment: I believe that many discussions around morality miss a crucial point about value-realism, which acknowledges problematic events within subjectivity, a non-physical but real reality of the mind. It is evident that there are no objective, divine, or prime-directive moral rules we must follow. Unfortunately, religion has muddied the conversation with archaic ideas and terms like 'morality'.
There is no 'moral truth,' especially not an objective one. If critics pigeonhole realists into defending such notions, it becomes easy to refute them. My interest lies in ethics and whether value/problematic events exist.
Consider this question by nihilists: "Why is suffering bad?"
Response: Suffering is identified because it feels bad, subjectively. Just as we subjectively understand 2+2=4, we can recognize suffering through its unpleasant experience.
When asked to "prove suffering is bad, objectively," this is question-begging, as the question assumes that the badness must exist independently of minds, which it does not by definition. This question straw-mans the issue by requiring mind-independent badness, ignoring the subjective nature of suffering. As if the quality of it being BAD must be granted by something outside the experience itself.
Evolutionary Perspective: Animals perceive and react to torture (e.g., being skinned alive) as bad because evolution has imposed mechanisms that signal harm. Pain serves as a problem-solving mechanism, reinforcing behaviors that enhance survival. If pain and suffering weren't inherently problematic, they wouldn’t exist in the form they do.
Realists like myself argue that evolution has objectively imposed prescriptive-value judgments on animals. The concept of 'problem' or 'bad' arises from these evolutionary mechanisms, not from free will. The existence of these concepts indicates the reality of these problematic experiences.
If real problems didn’t exist, neither would the concepts describing them. This is akin to how beings blind from birth wouldn’t conceive of color. Suggesting that evolutionary processes have universally deluded all feeling organisms into perceiving problems where there are none is implausible.
As evolutionary biologists state, pain signals to the animal, "don't do that again," which is descriptively prescriptive. The 'ought' is embedded within the 'is.' Thus, the is-ought gap is a red herring because prescriptive judgments are evolutionarily ingrained.
Again, How do you identify suffering? Based on the fact that it feels bad. (Yes subjectively) Just as we can subjectively understand 2+2 = 4
All you have to agree to is due to evolution it created torture which is decidedly negative/ inherently BAD, by definition. Otherwise it wouldn't feel bad or be torturous at all... THEN ask yourself, how can something be BAD yet it's not BAD to create that BAD?
Conclusion: By acknowledging that evolution created inherently negative experiences like torture, we accept that these experiences are bad by definition. Denying the badness of creating bad experiences is contradictory. Therefore, once recognizing the true reality of subjective experiences, only then we can move on to complex ethical questions about weighing good and bad and addressing conflicting preferences.
playing devil's advocate let's try Steelman their position and then arrive at the logical conclusions of it and then perhaps refute it. If they say: "veganism = right" realize there is no contradiction IF by 'right' they just mean it's literally nothing but their preference...
There's no goal to prefer to know/do what's right, RATHER what's right is whatever matches our personal preferences, so unlike flat earther vs round earth beliefs/CLAIMs which can contradict/conflict with each other since either 1 is right or both are wrong. Individual tastes don't.
Whereas if VG says 9 people gRAPE the 1 kid for fun is WRONG because he's a threshold-deontologist but Also RIGHT to a hedonistic utilitarian, Those views only contradict/conflict if they are making VALUE-claims or recognizing a problematic event take place. However, with VG apparently he would have to say he's not claiming or labelling anything as TRULY problematic at all but merely describing his preferences like flavor of ice cream...
Now, of course, as the realist, I find such a view more deplorable/worse than if they were merely agnostic on right/wrong. Cause it's one thing to say there's a right answer to questions of Ethics but we have no objective scientific basis to determine it yet or lack knowledge VS saying they have knowledge there is absolutely no right or wrong.
Under Anti-realism nihilism, what they mean by wrong/right, is just their preference, if I understand correctly (which I'm quite sure) Anti-realism nihilism reduces the Subject of Ethics down to nothing but you or someone else pontificating/opining (i.e "me no like torture") . It defends some sort of expressivism, emotivism, normative, prescriptive reduction of Ethics. Which I find lubricious and has to be a mistake,
I don't see anyone playing any different game even the nihilists invest their money and plan ahead for self-interest, no one truly signs up for torture for fun like it's no problem, and runs away from pleasure happiness as bad. Further, it stands to reason... since we can recognize objectively evolution created a punishment mechanism to enforce learning and survival, BAD/PROBLEM as a concept is something I/WE/Animals had nothing to do with. We didn't invent it, we recognize it and respond accordingly. Even evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins stated that pain is a message to the organism 'don't do that again!'
We must address further the flawed logic of VG and other nihilists reducing Ethics down to mere arbitrary preferences like potato chip flavor, or how much salt you prefer in the soup. As it is completely disanalogous & dishonest upon reflection. QUOTE: "There's no arguing against Efilism, it's just personal opinion. Like arguing what tastes better... ice-cream or potato chips?"
Say if you believe that the mona-lisa is beautiful, and I personally find it ugly, this conflicts/contradicts nothing because it claims nothing in terms about that object or reality outside of our own minds.
such qualities are OUTPUTs generated by body/mind from these INPUTs, the input is quite arbitrary/irrelevant, unlike the highly meaningful & distinct output generated of positive or negative experiences.
it doesn't matter what specific fun or hobby gets them off or pushes their buttons in order for it MATTER, those differences don't make it any less real OR all mere subjective opinion. the output positives & negatives is more or less same among individuals and that's what's relevant...
It can be TRUE that a certain food item is the tastiest to some personal individual, or gross to another, one's experience of what is tastiest for them doesn't contradict another's, they can both be true for them individually because it is the reality in their mind, Some people find bricks tasty or edible, just how their brain is wired.
while one person may find a certain food delicious, another may find it repulsive, without invalidating each other's experiences because they are true for them individually. both experiences are valid/correct.
However, actions that disregard another's negative experience invalidate their reality. if you find being boiled alive problematic and I do it anyway believing it's ok, I am invalidating your experience as either not real, relevant, doesn't matter, or my preferences are more important (carry more weight) than yours. Or simply believe it's ALL equal or arbitrary and I just prefer to exploit you so I do that.
Positive or negative experiences are largely consistent among people, making them relevant, regardless of the specific stimuli. Individual truths about taste or preference coexist without contradiction, reflecting each person's value-generated reality.
This cannot honestly be applied to one's mere opinion it's fine to boil kids alive, as you are invalidating the fact that it matters to those victims. You saying it doesn't matter or your gain of pleasure outweighs their loss of pain, is a claim about the reality of events going on in their mind, so there is room for conflict/contradiction. They can't both be right/wrong at the exact same time.
A strong non-intuition argument/claim & facts presented render value-nihilism implausible:
It is Descriptively the case, that Evolution IMPOSED Prescriptive-ought statements... of 'PROBLEMATIC sensation/event' on organisms which functioned as a learning mechanism and improved survival.
Therefore, BAD/PROBLEM isn't mere subjective opinion but something I/we/animals had nothing to do with and are mere by-product reacting to an observation.
This is pretty much the only base-axiom needed to ground my own torture as mattering as the original actual value-currency at stake. That paired with the fact I sampled consciousness and know it matters to me whether or not I am tortured, the fact that I personally observe it as problematic makes it the true reality for my own mind...
...AND it's not mere opinion/proclamation / or idea humans creatively invented out of thin air... as if like everyone could be truly blind yet conceptualizing colovision, makes no sense. plus that's giving humanity way too much credit of imagination.
Can't really have thoughts about information that you don't have. The concept of bad/problem arguably wouldn't even exist if it never was so.
Yes, I agree very semantics. I am attempting to shed clarity on this topic. Looking at the word "BAD" purely in a descriptive sense (e.g., that which can be categorically applied to extreme suffering) it loses all meaning if it's not truly consequential (i.e., it matters whether one experiences bad or not). If it doesn't actually matter ("no problemo") then it can't be bad, only an illusion/delusion of it, yet it's an effective one evolution imposed on organisms as a learning/problem-solving mechanism. The value-realists like myself have every reason to believe evolution created the real thing, not some contrived pseudo-problem organisms feel compelled/obligated to solve.
One only requires the axiom of a Descriptive Bad to ground Ethics. Why? Because it can be argued that a descriptive statement of BAD/problem is prescriptive by it's very nature in the meaning the of word/language.(otherwise its psuedo-bad/fake langauge, redefines bad as aversion/mere preference against) Otherwise, it can't mean anything to be bad, torturously obnoxious, unwanted experiential events couldn't mean anything. Evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins even state pain is a punishment signal/message to the animal: "Don't do that again!" If those aren't prescriptions imposed, then I don't know what is. The animal doesn't simply decide/prefer to avoid the event and finds it bad, it's told/finds it bad and so prefers to avoid the event/problem. If god or there were some logically or physically possible way it were to be invented how else would it exist?, or what you think evolution's reward & punishment mechanism accomplished? If it didn't synthesize problematic sensations to force organisms to solve?
Evolution prescribes Needs/wants, at the same time imposes a PAIN/PROBLEM of starvation/hunger which by it's very nature is a prescription for solution (i.e. sustenance/relief/comfort.)
By the very nature of "PROBLEM" it prescribes -> "SOLUTION" not merely a contrived or trivial-like on paper math problem, but the origin of why the word even exists: the problem of pain, a true whip/punishment mechanism, real currency to play with, real loss. Idk how you can describe something categorically as a PROBLEM in the true sense of the word if it doesn't come with it a necessary prescription for its solution. Because if there is no NEED for a solution, then it turns into no longer a problem again...
I don't see how it could be any other way because if there's no real game to be playing with value baked into it, then money would be worthless/not even exist, animals wouldn't bother evade standing in the fire, etc.
Saying It is Descriptively the case, that Evolution IMPOSED Prescriptive-ought statements... of 'PROBLEMATIC sensation/event' on organisms which functioned as a learning mechanism and improved survival.
Is the same as saying Evolution IMPOSED torture/BAD, as that's what torture/bad is... a prescribed need for solution to a problem which is some form of relief/comfort.
The prescription arises as a result of accepting step 1. (which nihilists reject/deny) problem solution. The latter does not follow/exist without the former. basic 2+2 = 4 logic. There's no point figuring out the answer to the math equation, if we don't agree first and foremost a problem exists. Nor how to solve a disease, if we don't first and foremost recognize a disease exists. And so, Any debate with nihilists on step 2: of determining what is the most likely solution / right answer becomes irrelevent and a waste of time. Arguing about whether x or y IS the right answer to fixing/preventing diabetes is pointless when they don't even agree the really disease exists. They don't believe an actual real BAD / Problem exists.
VG reduces it down to mere preferences, his reasonings that even if universally sentience prefers not suffebe tortured... Well, just because it is the case descriptively we prefer to avoid suffering doesn't mean we ought/should prevent suffering. He hasn't bridged the IS-OUGHT gap. But he got it backwards,
the claim/argument... ISN'T that because descriptively, sentience universally has a preference to avoid suffering, it is therefore bad,
the claim/argument... IS that it's descriptively bad/problematic, therefore universally there's a deductively logically assigned preference to avoid it,
Again you can't classify/label something as a problem if it's inconsequential whether it is solved or not. The word loses all meaning. If something NEEDs solving/fixing it means there's a problem, if there's a problem it means there's something NEED solving/fixing. Evolution manufactures these needy problems in organisms to manipulate and control them.
Merely what our preferences are IS NOT relevant, preference "frustration" arguably IS. (if preferences couldn't be frustrated "i.e., no value" than it wouldn't matter which way things turned out)
You can have a preference for some art style over another, if we were just programmed non-feeling robots that preferred to avoid standing in the fire, but there was no real kernel of value/bad, then it wouldn't matter.
Let's imagine something was Objectively PROBLEMATIC, an IS statement. What would a real problem look like? something in NEED of a solution. Again, why? because If it doesn't matter whether or not it exists or is Solved or not, it could never be a problem in the first place. So either this problem exists or it doesn't. (NOTE: it doesn't need to be an objective problem to be REAL, "i.e mind-independent")
Next, if ASI or sentient beings were to sample this "problem", would it not be the case they would logically deduce it's in need of a solution? And assign their preferences accordingly to solving it? Cause again otherwise then you just see it as "no-problemo" again.
"If Inmendham's argument is that sentient beings create value, and that the universe has no value without the presence of a sentient being generating it, would it not follow that the ought is inherently built into sensation?" yes but the way VG unfairly reframes it is that we subjectively place value on it, THAT it's entirely subjective, like you prefer salty or sweet, or certain ice cream flavor. emphasizing that it's entirely subjective opinion. Take a look at his unfair silly example: "we can't say pineapple on pizza is objectively tasty or not..." this shows a complete ineptitude in grasping the subject and misrepresenting the argument like crazy, no one is arguing whether Mona Lisa is objectively beautiful or some such thing.
What is being argued: the positive or negative mind-dependent event produced in response to the sensual or perceptual stimuli, the input (object) is irrelevant, only the output (experience) matters and what the value-engine (BRAIN) produced. What pushes your buttons so to speak, blue jelly beans or green jelly beans, could differ between 2 individuals but the shared experience is the same more or less. Whether you wired to find pineapple on pizza tasty or gross is irrelevant, some people find bricks edible.
Main issue is they talking past each other: what inmendham is arguing for was either not expressed as best it could be, and/or VG does not quite comprehend what is being argued... inmendham claims/argues evolution created the real bad/PROBLEM and we respond in recognition of this fact/truth with preferences that follow accordingly, Logic cannot be escaped, once you know 2+2 = 4, you can't will or believe it to be 79. If you know the right answer "torture be Bad M'kay?" obviously you won't act or behave otherwise and say you love it. What could it mean to have a preference against experiencing torture... does such a statement even make any sense? All that is required is a real BAD to exist... and then the preference to avoid it logically follows, an inescapable truth. Unless he thinks I also choose or prefer to believe 2+2 = 4 ?
Essentially VG keeps counter-arguing that: "yes we want to avoid torture, but that's just your preference... just cause universally sentience has a preference against torture (a Descriptive / IS statement) doesn't logically follow some Normative/Prescriptive claim/statement. That just because something IS the case it doesn't follow that we OUGHT / should do X, like help others, prevent suffering, etc. That's a non-sequitur he says. Ultimately it's just a preference." sure but...
His argument only applies/counters a strawman position in his head: Because of this I and other realists can account for / side-step it completely, we aren't attempting to derive an OUGHT from an IS. e.g strawman: "we ALL have preference against torture, Therefore it's BAD." Or "we ALL have preference against torture, Therefore we OUGHT prevent it"
The actual argument is that it's Truly Bad/Problematic by the very nature of the word, Therefore first-hand observation follows universally a deductively logically assigned preference to avoid it. Not the other way around.
"If the only thing that can have meaning in the universe is the experience of a sentient being, ought we not maximize its value just by nature of its experience being the only thing that can matter?" yes the ought is a further logical extension of recognizing it to be a problem, which denotes/demands a solution, otherwise if it doesn't matter to solve it or not then you've turned it into a non-problem again. So it can only be categorically one or the other.
Issue of semantics, different terminology and definitions: as long as VG defines objective as "mind-independent" and sets the goal-post to the realist to find a mind-independent "wrong/bad" as if somehow we need some divine-command or absolute rule in the universe that declares it so... then there is no fruit to the discussion. suffering/bad takes place in the mind/experience, so of course it's unfair to ask one to present a mind-independent suffering/bad in the universe, it is begging the question. To be fair inmendham uses the term objective and could have done better job with defining/pushing his terms "e.g. objective as truth/real/fact" and not let VG impose in his own. However, I don't ascribe a requirement to demonstrate an Objective BAD to ground a BAD as real, valid, and true; it can be entirely based on Subjectivist grounds/axiomatic foundations.
Just because the BAD takes place within subjectivity doesn't make it any less real (non-physical/immaterial sure... but not unreal). VG and nihilists can't understand this. 2+2 = 4 is subjective as is all science ultimately as a root axiomatic-fact... as an observation requires an observer. This doesn't mean realism can't be proven/grounded, it can just like we can know 2+2=4 and the moon exists. If anti-realism is gonna deny subjective truths because it's subjective, then one can't know much of anything and reduces to solipsism. I am more certain I exist and the reality of "perceived" BAD I experience is actually a real BAD... THAN that the moon even exists or any other scientific empirical claim.
PROBLEM is something I/we/animals had Nothing to do with, we didn't invent it.
If Anti-realism nihilism was True and Real "PROBLEMS" didn't exist the word wouldn't exist. It is like being born never knowing or seeing or experiencing vision & color, it's impossible to contrive or imagine it. Some knowledge & information is only accessible through experience.
Even Richard Dawkins stated, "pain is a message to the animal Don't do that again!"
If the ought exists within subjectivity, as preferences, why would them being Subjective vs Objective determine whether or not their violation matters? If one experiences disgust looking at something AND another finds beauty... both are true realities for them, they don't conflict or contradict like empirical or fact claims, but instead both are correct and relevant, not one or the other, BECAUSE when someone says the mona Lisa is beautiful they are just saying it arises in them a sense of beauty, the thing/input is irrelevant whereas the output in mind is what is relevant and true for their reality.
Subjective =/= not true, I don't understand the dichotomy between objective vs subjective ethics, as if there isn't facts to glean about subjectivity.
There's also definition or semantic problems:
objective (mind-independent) vs subjective (mind-dependent)
Under such definition does it make sense to say Objectively evolution created feeling experiencing organisms having sense of taste, smell, sound, hunger, pain, to survive. So can we apply word objective to mind-dependent experiences or not?
And of course under such definition there is no objective mind-independent ethics as without minds there is no feeling subject of concern to even talk about in first place. So how silly...
Yet they take objective to mean True & Subjective made up or mere contrived opinion.
For me these are semantic word games that distract, I just care about what's fact/true. What many don't get is Even science, math is subjective invention, byproduct of subjective tool of language, doesn't mean we can't create an accurate model and picture of reality.
I believe the Is-Ought gap is a red-herring, sure it's true you can't contrive an Ought from just what IS, but with evolution the OUGHT statement is built-in, it's descriptively a prescriptive value statement imposed on me, I/we/animals literally have nothing to do with it, I'm just by-product an observer. This is key understanding.
There exists no objective or divine commandment "you OUGHT do X" written into the fabric of reality, and therefore if you don't that's Bad, No. That's nonsense/impossible logically.
Rather an Descriptive IS statement of X is a real bad/PROBLEM, denotes/demands a solution by it's very nature of the word, otherwise if it doesn't need solving then it becomes into a non-problem again, so either x categorically IS a PROBLEM or it's not.
The claim/argument... Is that it's Descriptively BAD/Problematic, therefore universally there's a deductively logically assigned preference to avoid it. Not the other way around. Our personal preference against torture forever doesn't make it therefore bad. The prescription is built in, forced onto us.
It's like "STOP!" & "GO" What do you say to a dog? "BAD dog!" This is saying it should or shouldn't do something. basically = "No!" "Stop!" That's a prescriptive statement/signal/conveyed message.
Or simply, alls required is Descriptively diagnose Torture as Problematic. Which implies Problem Solution Without necessity of solution there is no problem at all, likewise without problem solution means nothing.
​So you essentially boiled my position down to: "Evolution programmed preference to avoid torture." or "we evolved preference to avoid torture" Does that sound incoherent or what... as if I would make such a silly claim. Keep straw-manning.
Do you think animals have PREFERENCE by default to avoid being tortured burned alive and have sex, or logically preferences are born out of observing problematic negative / positive assigned accordingly through punishment & reward mechanisms aka prescriptions, think long and hard about this one...
This is why value or ethical nihilism is incoherent to me. IF torture be bad, how can it be NOT-bad/neutral to create BAD?
It either is truly BAD or it isn't. It's either real or it's an illusion/delusion and false perception.
Their position must reduce to there is no MEANINGFUL difference between Torture & Bliss. And evolution didn't create any problematic sensation or true punishment whatsoever. Instead, were somehow deluded to view being boiling alive as problematic sensation/BAD, and relief as good, we can't tell the difference or label which is which...
Vegan Gains or any anti-realist needs to substantiate these anti-realist nihilist claims & concede if he agrees with the statements below:
"The value-laden problematic BAD experience of being tortured boiled alive in a vat of acid indefinitely... isn't really bad, evolution didn't successfully impose a real negative punishment mechanism on animals, torture isn't something I/we/animals had nothing to do with and are just byproduct observing the imposition, NO! Instead our opinion has everything to do with it... what's problematic torture, one is merely subjectively interpreting/inventing/proclaiming it to be so! Evolution failed!"
"Animals run from fire cause they irrationally unreasonably subjectively interpret it to be bad/problematic sensation or experience, not cause DNA molecule made it so objectively for evolutionary reasons"
"It is all subjective preference like flavor of potato chips, problematic torturous experience isn't bad you just think it's bad or have preference against it."
"You don't logically recognize intrinsic problematic torturous experience then logically assign solution to problem which is preference to avoid that experience, No, you merely have subjective delusional preference against a nail in your eye and there is no logic to it"
"Good is Bad, and Bad is Good depending on opinion, no right or wrong, all subjective tho"
value anti-realism nihilism. INSANE! WORSE than a flat-earth theory!

Some people see colors, some see numbers...I smell scents. Sort of. Call it a strange hobby, but I enjoy daydreaming about personal scents. Like how I think a person would smell. I'm currently working on a project involving scents, and of course as everything tends to do, it led me to muse upon our boys. And their personal scents. These are my musings:

• Joon - fallen leaves in the mountains in Autumn, sweet and outdoorsy (iykyk)
• Jin - sunshine and summer grass and salty air
• Yoongi - mint, cool and sharp and soothing and clears the mind
• Hobi - expensive (🤭), dark chocolate and lavender, deepness and lightness
• Jimin - angel food cake soaked in whiskey, a soft soft sweetness that's not overpowering and has a fire to it
• Tae - a deep, warm, leather-like musk, (it's those jazz clubs!)
• JK - bright light and fresh air, clean and bright

What do y'all think our boys would smell like? Not literally, but a scent they remind you of, a perfume you smelled once, even a feeling. Share in the comments!
^{Not a shameless attempt at getting ideas for my project}

Well here we are, FG, our first decades tournament, the 2010’s. Thank you to everyone who nominated movies, and let’s get right into it!
Results of Round 1

• Spider-Man Into the Spider-Verse (2018) (9) beat 10 Cloverfield Lane (2016) (8) and Sorry to Bother You (2018) (6)
• Snowpiercer (2013) (11) beat 12 Years a Slave (2013) (7), and Spotlight (2015) (6)
• Skyfall (2012) (9) beat 127 Hours (2010) (8) and Spring Breakers (2012) (7)
• First Reformed (2017) (10) beat Skate Kitchen (2018) (3), and Steve Jobs (2015) (3)
• 1917 (2019) (9) beat Sing Street (2016) (6), and Stoker (2013) (6)
• Silence (2016) (14) beat 20th Century Women (2016) (4) and Stray Dogs (2013) (3)
• Sicario (2015) (17) beat Sunset (2017) (3) and 50/50 (2011) (3)
• Shutter Island (2010) (11) beat A Field in England (2013) (5), and Tabu (2012) (2)
• A Ghost Story (2017) (13) beat Short Term 12 (2013) (6), and Tehran Taboo (2017) (1)
• A Separation (2011) (7) tied with Shoplifters (2018) (7), and beat The Act of Killing (2012) (3)
• The American (2010) (8) beat A Silent Voice (2016) (2), and Shin Godzilla (2016) (2)
• The Assassin (2015) (11) beat Shame (2011) (7), and A Star is Born (2018) (5)
• Scott Pilgrim vs the World (2010) (11) beat Ad Astra (2019) (6), and The Avengers (2012) (4)
• The Babadook (2014) (10) beat All is Lost (2013) (7) and Rubber (2010) (4)
• Annihilation (2018) (15) beat Room (2015) (5), and The Babysitter (2017) (2)
• Roma (2018) (12) beat April and the Extraordinary World (2015) (4), and The Conjuring (2013) (3)
• The Big Short (2015) (7) beat Aquarius (2016) (5), and Right Now, Wrong Then (2015) (0)
• Arrival (2016) (16) beat Raw (2016) (3), and The Big Sick (2017) (1)
• Atomic Blonde (2017) (6) beat Rango (2011) (5) and The Captain (2017) (3)
  
• The Ballad of Buster Scruggs (2018) (8) beat Post Tenebras Lux (2012) (3), and Bait (2019) (1)
  
• Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019) (10) beat Barbara (2012) (1), and The Counselor (2013) (1)
  
• The Death of Stalin (2017) (8) beat Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping (2016) (6), and Beasts of No Nation (2015) (3)
  
• Birdman (2014) (7) tied Phoenix (2014) (7) and beat The Double (2013) (2)
  
• Black Swan (2010) (11) beat Phantom Thread (2017) (8), and The Drop (2014) (3)
  
• Blade Runner 2049 (2017) (11) beat The Florida Project (2017) (9), and The House That Jack Built (2018) (2)
  
• The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) (15) beat Blindspotting (2018) (2), and Paddington 2 (2017) (1)
  
• Blue is the Warmest Color (2013) (7) beat Only Lovers Left Alive (2013) (6), and The Great Beauty (2013) (2)
  
• The Handmaiden (2016) (11) beat Bone Tomahawk (2015) (7), and Only God Forgives (2013) (4)
  
• Once Upon a Time....In Hollywood (2019) (15) beat The Hateful Eight (2015) (8), and Bridge of Spies (2015) (4)
  
• Boyhood (2014) (7) beat Once Upon a Time in Anatolia (2011) (5), and The Hollars (2016) (2)
  
• O.J. Made in America (2016) (10) beat Parasite (2019) (9), and Brooklyn (2015) (5)
  
• Nightcrawler (2014) (12) beat Burning (2018) (7), and The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013) (1)
  
• Nebraska (2013) (7) beat The Hunt (2012) (4), and Byzantium (2012) (4)
  
• Mysteries of Lisbon (2010) (4) beat Carlos (2010) (3), and The Imposter (2012) (2)
  
• Carol (2015) (12) beat The Irishman (2019) (6), and mother! (2017) (3)
  
• The Lighthouse (2019) (9) beat Moonrise Kingdom (2012) (8), and Cemetery of Splendour (2015) (4)
  
• Moonlight (2016) (9) beat The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017) (5), and Chappie (2015) (3)
  
• Molly’s Game (2017) (8) beat Coherence (2013) (7), and Cloud Atlas (2012) (4)
  
• The Master (2012) (11) beat Mission Impossible: Fallout (2018) (6), and The Martian (2015) (5)
  
• Cold War (2018) (5) ties Meek's Cutoff (2010) (5), and beats The Missing Picture (2013) (2)
  
• The Nice Guys (2016) (14) beat Contagion (2011) (5), and Mary Poppins Returns (2018) (2)
  
• Margaret (2011) (9) beat The Place Beyond the Pines (2012) (6), and Creed (2015) (2)
  
• Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014) (8) tied with The Raid 2 (2014) (8), and beat Maps to the Stars (2014) (3)
  
• Drive (2011) (17) beat The Revenant (2015) (6), and Mandy (2018) (4)
  
• Django Unchained (2012) (11) beat The Salesman (2016) (3) and Made in Dagenham (2010) (2)
  
• Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) (9) beat Train to Busan (2016) (5), and Diamantino (2018) (1)
  
• Eighth Grade (2018) (5) beat Elle (2016) (4), and Long Way North (2015) (2)
  
• The Turin Horse (2011) (10) beat Logan (2017) (9), and El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie (2019) (0)
  
• The Way Back (2010) (8) beat Locke (2013) (5), and The Tree of Life (2011) (4)
  
• Embrace of the Serpent (2015) (10) beat Little Women (2019) (6), and The Whispering Star (2015) (2)
  
• Enemy (2013) (6) tied with The Wind Rises (2013) (6) and beat Like Someone in Love (2012) (3)
  
• Life of Pi (2012) (9) beat The Witch (2015) (8), and Evangelion 3.0 You Can (Not) Redo (2012) (1)
  
• The Wolf of Wall Street (2013) (7) beat Leave No Trace (2018) (6) and Exit Through the Gift Shop (2010) (3)
  
• Ex Machina (2014) (9) beat Thoroughbreds (2017) (4), and Le Havre (2011) (3)
  
• Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017) (13) beat Ladybird (2017) (9), and Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile (2019)
  
• La La Land (2016) (13) beat 13 Assassins (2010) (4), and White Boy Rick (2018) (1)
  
• The Social Network (2010) (11) Four Lions (2010) (5), and Kung Fu Panda 2 (2011) (2)
  
• Get Out (2017) (7) beat Two Days, One Night (2014) (5), and Konosuba Legend of Crimson (2019) (1)
  
• Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives (2010) (7) beat Girlhood (2014) (4), and Klaus (2019) (1)
  
• Under the Skin (2013) (13) beat Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014) (3), and God Bless America (2011) (2)
  
• Upstream Color (2013) (8) beat Killer Joe (2011) (7), and I Saw The Devil (2010) (4)
  
• Good Time (2017) (11) beat Joker (2019) (6), and Us (2019) (2)
  

View Poll

I have devised this thread as some guidance for those people who have visited this forum and are concerned about specific symptoms that are effecting them and, in particular, those who are worried that these symptoms are an indication of neurological conditions such as Multiple Sclerosis (MS), Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) & Motor Neurone Disease (MND).
The first thing that must be realised is that NOBODY on an internet forum can ever diagnose you or truly give you any reassurance that you do not have these conditions. Should anybody experience any signs or symptoms that are new to them they should ALWAYS approach their doctor in the first instance in order for these to be examined. In the vast majority of cases a GP will be able to advise you that these symptoms are benign but some doctors will often refer you to a neurologist for their opinion, if this should happen it is not value laden as regarding a possible diagnosis but rather would be the standard format for how you present to the doctor.
This thread is good news, it is good news because it has had to be written, it is good news because hundreds, maybe thousands of people have logged onto this board and countless other anxiety forums totally convinced that they are suffering from a neurological condition despite being told by health care profesionals that this is not the case. All these people ask the same questions and all these people have the exact same worries as you are having now. If this is you, if you have been to the doctor, maybe even a neuro, maybe even two neuro’s, maybe even had an MRI, maybe even two MRI’s, well, you get the picture, if you have been told by your health care profesional that you are healthy but you are struggling to believe this you may find some help from this thread.
So, you have come to an anxiety board. I guess that is because your doctor has told you that you are suffering from anxiety. Actually, my guess would be that your doctor has told you that you are suffering from ‘just’ anxiety and, if you are lucky, you may have been given some leaflets, you may have had some books recommended and you may even have been given some medication.
So, what took you to the doctor? Was it the tingling? The pins & needles? That damned annoying twitching eyelid that just won’t let up? Was it that weird thing when you keep seeing the flashing in your periphiral vision? The strange sensation in your throat where you just can’t swallow? The constant muscle aches and cramps? The constant small joint aches and cramps? Do you have that weird internal vibrating feeling? Was it the percieved weakness in all your major limbs? What about the foot drop you have been noticing, the clumsiness, finding the car keys in the fridge? Was it the chronic constant fatigue, that feeling when you wake in the morning like you haven’t actually gone to bed? What about the myclonic jerking, that bizarre moment when your whole body jerks like you have had an electric shock? Was it that constant twitching in your calf muscles that looks like you have a bag of worms under your skin? It could have been the parathesia, the feeling on your skin where one moment it feels sunburnt and the next minute it feels soaking wet? Maybe it was the atrophy, you know, the muscle loss in your bicep, your thigh that is so obvious to you but what frustratingly nobody else can see? What about………are you bored? I’m bored!
So, you have had some of those right? Maybe like me you are unlucky enough to have had every one of them…not much fun is it! When you first started getting these weird and wonderful symptoms cropping up I bet one of the first things you did was run off to the all powerful internet and consult that all knowing oracle, the good lord GOOGLE. If you did this, if you searched for your symptoms on a search engine on the internet, congratualtions, you have taken the first step on developing this weird and wonderful anxiety disorder known as Health Anxiety. The reason we Google is because of a basic human need at a time of stress, we are scared and we want reassurance, the problem is nothing you ever read on the internet will give you the reassurance you need, you will unwittingly discard the plethora of evidence that tells you that you do not have a neurological illness and instead will latch onto and inflate those things which seem ambigous, why would you do this? I suggest that at this point it may be adavantagous for you to look in the Genaralized Anxiety Disorder folder on this forum and see the negative thought processes and over generalization and catastrophising that defines GAD, it just may ring some bells for you.
So, by the time you have gone to the doctor you are pretty much resigned to the fact that it is MS or if you are really unlucky ALS. You picture yourself in a wheelchair, the kids looking at you with pity as you can’t play sports in the park with them anymore, you picture your partner standing by you and caring for you but all the while you feel the resentment, they never signed up for this, you picture the scene in four years time, confined to a hospital bed with your family and friends round you with the fruit and flowers…..BUT WAIT!
Oh joyous news, the doctor has said you don’t have MS, you don’t have ALS, what you have is anxiety, well, just anxiety….oh believe me there is a BIG difference. You have got out of jail free! The doctor has examind you thoroughly, he has taken your history, he knows the patterns, he has seen people with MS and ALS and you are not one of those. With a skip and a step you are on your way, same time next year doctor, yep, no worries…so with a happy heart and an increased vigour you are off out of the surgery door to continue with your life that had been on hold up to then. MS, ALS how could you be so silly eh?
…and then it begins! Right, the doctor said this is anxiety, I’m not anxious though, why do I still have these symptoms if I’m not anxious….something just isn’t right here. The more you think about it the more it seems obvious, hold on, I saw the doctor on Friday afternoon, I bet he was just thinking about the weekend and wanted to get rid of me. I’m sure that the doctor should have done more tests than he did you know, crikey, I’m sure when I told him the numbness was down just the one side he didn’t listen to that, that bit is crucial and he never heard it. Hold on, this freakin eye twitch is getting even worse and I’m not even anxious, where is the telephone? What is that doctors number?……welcome to the loop!
If any of the above seems familier to you, believe me, you are not alone…as strange as it may seem the fixation on being convinced you have a neurological condition after being told that you are in actual fact suffering from anxiety in very common.
Firstly, you need to realise that both MS and ALS are rare disease’s. Not only are they both rare disease’s but they also tend to effect spefic groups based on ethnicity, age and sex so we are talking about rare disease with partial excluding factors. In contrast, anxiety is an incredibly common and debilitating condtion that effects people both physically and mentally.
Anxiety is generally percieved to be a mental condition, when we are anxious we are anxious in our head and this can kick in the flight or fight syndrome which in turn causes the physical reactions. These reactions are generally thought to be a racing heart and palpitations, sweating, increased adrenaline etc etc. Now, this is all well and good but how does this fit in with those symptoms that mirror MS etc so effectivly.
I personally believe that the reason most people fail to be believe that their symptoms are being genrated by anxiety is because the concept of anxiety is never actually expalined sufficently. A large number of doctors will often expalin to you that you are suffering from ‘just’ anxety and this usage of the term ‘just’ is supposed to make us somehow feel reassured. The problem is that this has the opposite effect, how can a ‘just’ something cause all these real physical symptoms. If anxiety is effecting me mentally how can it make me twitch, buzz and go numb?
For some people anxiety will surface in the tradional panic attack, much seems to be written on this side of anxiety and this is not what we are concerned with here. For a sizable group of people when anxiety starts to manifest itself physically it is through physical sesnations that effect various aspects of our nervous system. This is why the sensations of this physical anxiety so closely mirror the symptoms of a condition such as MS, they actually effect the same part of the body, now, here is the crucial and all important difference, the symptoms of MS are caused by an organic condition which whilst treatable is irreversable and the physical sensations of anxiety are caused by the mind and are of course reversable. In short, you have to understand and accept that the mind can actually generate these physical sensations.
Whilst for many people physical anxiety can strike out of the blue, I am of the opinion that for the vast majority of people anxiety starts to become physical after whay could be many years of bad stress and anxiety management. You may not have even noticed this. We all have an anxiety threshold and the majority of people will probably never approach the blow off point, yes, a sudden and severe stressor could take someone right over the point from the baseline (think Post Traumatic Stress Disorder & Conversion Disorder etc) but most of us operate at an anxiety level that our bodies can handle. The problem is that if we stress ourselves constantly over a period of time, we do not allow our thermostat to reset and one sunny day something will happen, some stressor which can be a bad or even a good event and which we may not even realise the significance of will push us over the limit and it is at this point that our anxiety will effect us physically and more often than not impact on our nervous system.
This also happens to bring us to another crucial factor and what for many is the paradox that holds us back form accepting the anxiety diagniosis, how the hell can this be anxiety when I am not anxious? It makes no sense to me! What we need to realise is that once we have crossed the anxiety threshold no matter what we do we have to surrender ourselves to our mind and body and accept that we are now operating to a timescale that WE CANNOT CONTROL! We can think we are being as cool as Fonzie but we need to accept that the damage whilst reversible has been done and it is just a case of closing the stable door after the horse has bolted. Our body is now in control of us and the physical sensations will only stop when our body and mind are sufficently recovered.
It is at this point where we commit the ultimate folly, do we do as the experts suggest and sit back and realx and float through this stage? Of course not, we do the total opposite, we monitor our body for every twitch and interpret this as a sign of a misdiagnosis, we become hypervigilant, paranoid, self absorbed…this behaviour just creates more and more anxiety and we do not allow our body and mind the time necessary to recover….we are, in effect, pouring gasoline on the fire and expecting it to go out.
If you read this forum you will find a variety of posts that will offer you suggestions as to why you are suffering from the physical sensations of anxiety. Some people will advocate medication, some Cognitive Behaviour Therapy etc etc but what you will realise is that there is no one right way. I am truly of the belief that recovery is all about acceptance and learning to respond to fear correctly but how we do this is very much an indvidual thing. It could well be that you have issues with GAD and you can see how patterns realting to that disorder resonate with how you currently feel about your health, for example, note how both MS and ALS are diseases with which we lose control of our bodies. It could also be that you have issues with OCD, traits such as reassurance seeking and body and symptom monitoring could suggest this. There may well be suggestions that you could be sufferring from elements of depression, there is as school of thought that believes that the mind will somatise physical sensations when there are aspects of your life that your unconcious is unhappy with etc.
I hope this has helped if you have just visited here convinced you have MS etc and you are feeling scared and confused. You may have noticed I have not mentioned anything specific about MS or ALS and that is because there is no reason to...you do not have those. Your doctor has told you you are suffering from anxiety and therefore you are in the right place. Refrain from researching about diseases you do not have and instead concentrate on dealing with what you have today. Of course, what you have today doesn’t guarantee you won’t have MS or ALS tomorrow and if that thought fills you with fear use your time here wisely and believe me, it becomes a lot more bearable.