Two people friendship necklace juicy couture

*tw: dating at early age (for those of you who always get annoyed lmao),, i know we’re young, we make mistakes yadayadayada i know y’all are probably thinking “eh why so young date already ah” but to be fair we’re all curious kids so- can’t stop it from happening if it happens 😃
backstory: alright so in 2022, i (15F) was talking to a guy (15M, aka person A) for at least 2-3 months, seemed nice, and then we had a relationship that lasted around 3-4 months (we broke up on christmas day 😅)..
anyway, so yeah we kind of broke up on “good terms”? (broke up because i told him we’re better off as friends since we couldn’t meet each others’ expectations as a couple? he was emotionally unavailable and was very insecure throughout the relationship, and would often break boundaries that i had already set in place, and i had already let him cross too many — i know that’s on me because i didn’t enforce my boundaries as firm as i should have — but anyway he wasn’t a bad friend to me so i thought, why not go back to being friends?) or so i thought 💀
a few days after we broke up, i found out through HIS friends that he was talking shit about me? (e.g. calling me a slxt, told his friends that i cheated on him with FIVE?? not one, not two, but FIVE guys 😭 my thoughts: wow i didn’t know i had so much time in my life to cheat on you?) but at that point i was already done with him because i honestly couldn’t be bothered? and he wasn’t even my problem anymore! so obviously i proceeded on with my life and focused on my studies.
story: now, it’s 2024 he’s 17, i’m 17. introducing my best friend (17F, person B). person B has been with me since the beginning of 2020, we of course had our fights and drama, but we stayed despite them and learned to love one another with our flaws (platonically obviously).
so person B was around when i was dating person A, and they became friends. however, when i broke up with person A, he still kept contact with person B. (they talk in school sometimes)
as of now, person A and person B are close friends, and when i say close friends, i mean they call each other (one on one) sometimes, he updates her about almost everything in his life, he invites her for outings (just the two of them), and always asks for her thoughts on stuff.. and you may be thinking, “omg how would you know?” ☺️☺️ well person B tells me!
in my opinion, i don’t really care much if you were friends with my ex, because honestly speaking, he’s human too and he needs a community to talk to as well, BUT you do not have to share with my everything about my ex’s current life 😭 (doesn’t matter love life, healthy life, whatever life).. i’ve chosen to move on from him, leaving him as a part of my life in my high school days and i do not need or wish to involve him in my life again? i’m sorry but that’s what i have decided on for my life.
i don’t know, does it make me sound like i have not gotten over my ex? because i swear im over him, i just don’t need to hear about his life that often, and i get really annoyed at it too 😭 and whenever i react to something he does to me after the break up, (e.g. liking my story) she just tells me that im overreacting and that he’s just being friendly..
and also, the thing is person B knows what my other friends (they do not interact with person A at all) think about their friendship (person A + B) and she’ll keep on telling me “yo i feel guilty because people will think I’m such a bad friend for being close with your ex” and i’ve told her countless times “i really do not care if you’re friends with him, it’s your life”
so am i in the wrong to be reacting this way when person B tells me about person A’s life? am i really just overreacting when it’s just a small issue? and what do i do because i obviously don’t want to hear about person A.. but i do want my friendship with person B to continue..

A while ago someone mentioned this story as a recommendation for a story with a tall and strong love interest and after reading it I wanted to make this post to put more of a spotlight on it because this story is so much more and I'm surprised I've haven't heard more people talk about it ever since this sub and the discord started
Summary:

After a violent mistake forces them together, a human mage and a hyena pirate find themselves in an unsteady alliance, on a mission to plunder an ancient tomb that lies far into the desert. The former seeks to rescue his father, while the other has her sights set on a fortune of gold.

First, let me tell you that this is a true enemies to lovers story like I've seen few of them be, it is a fantastic romance where happenstance pairs two opposites to form an alliance against their will that later grows into respect, understanding, friendship and ultimately feelings for each other which is a progression I feel is often lacking in other rivals/enemies to lovers story where it's common to jump from hate to love either pretty fast or without the struggle in between, not this story, this story gives you every step in the evolution of the relationship which is something I greatly appreciate.
Second, the characters are have their own individuality, struggles, goals. I hate to use the term 3D-mensional when describing a character because it's very over used and doesn't tell you much about it but you know it when you see it, the characters don't feel like they act how the story needs them to act, rather it feels like the situation is laid out and the characters act true to themselves at every moment.
And lastly to not make this post any longer, It's just a great story, it's not only the romance but the story that accompanies it also had me with my phone glued to my face, is not often that every individual aspect of a book is great by itself but this one accomplishes that, great villains, great world-building, great pacing, just fantastic.
Don't have much else to say, give this story a chance it's honestly one of the best RFM I've ever read
Abandoned by SomaticDream

I am looking for someone fun (age 25 min) to be friends and eventually grow close to over time. Someone who I can spend a lot of time with doing the following things on a daily basis:
-spam games (PC only): league (arams (big plus if you aram!)/tft/norms), destiny 2, last epoch, crab champions, pico park, fall guys, gunfire reborn, risk of rain 2, super animal royale, golf with friends, terraria, escape simulator, it takes two, minecraft, diablo 3, etc (happy to play other games if they seem fun). - Please, please play league and destiny 2 and carry me <3
-chill on discord when bored (we can do our own things - its completely fine or we can stream games for eachother). At the end of the day, we can wind down together until we go to sleep. If you have a nice voice, that's a huge plus!
-watch anime/movies/youtube videos/tv shows (I'll watch anything but horror - no scary pls lol)
-share/listen to music (ideally, we'd play some music as background while gaming. we could also share/trade music - i like doing this too) My taste in music: 80s, 90s, rock, alternative, pop, dance, electro, mix of everything else. Music I don't prefer: jazz, blues, most rap, most country.
-If you WFH (like myself) it would be great if we could keep each other company during the work days.
-winding down the nights together before we go to sleep and being a safe space for each other is super important to me.
Please reply with a bit about you and what games you have in common (at least 2 games in common)
Please have a sense of humor.
Please be willing to talk/put in effort into a conversation.
I prefer someone who wants to be close and look for something more down the line. Someone who likes clingyness and is a bit possessive is a plus.
Summary: I am looking for a consistent/meaninfuly/genuine friendship. Someone who becomes my go-to friend/gamer person and I become theirs. If this leads to something more down the line, that's fine but it's not a must have.
Based on the replies I got on the last post, it seems I have to set some basic human and personal standards:
-No married or taken guys - I do not mess with other people's relationships and I wouldnt want anyone to mess with mine. I have more respect that than - if you're not happy in your relationship, please talk it out with your s/o or seek help! I'm not your answer.
-PC Only!! Please don't message me if you don't even own a PC. This is straight forward.
-Please have a normal sense of your life together - working/can put in effort, know what you want in life, mostly positive attitude -- if you've been at home for 10+ years because you have anxiety and this affects the fact you cannot be on discord with me while we game because it causes you more stress, I'm not the person for you!!
-If you reply with just a Hey/Hello and nothing else, I'm not replying. This post has effort, you put in effort. You can send me angry messages all you want for not responding. This will not change the fact that if 0 or minimum effort was made as an introduction, I'm not responding.
-If you are below 25 and looking for a 'Mommy' type, I cannot help you. Please look elsewhere.
Best of luck!

This will be a long one, as I'm going to vent a lot rage all at once and then disappear forever.
God I fucking hope Capcom has some competition in the monster hunting genre in the near future. There are so many problems in monster hunter that would be solved by another dev team holding their feet to the fire.
Let's start with hitboxes. Yes, I know, Monster Hunter has always had dogshit hitboxes. No I've never played a Monster Hunter before World. That means absolutely nothing to me. Capcom prints money with Monster Hunter, with Street Fighter, with Resident Evil. They have the money to devote to making hitboxes not fucking terrible. Leaving them dogshit is a choice. And why would they spend that money? The closest thing they've had to competition in recent memory is Wildhearts and Dauntless, and this post is probably the first time you've thought about either of those games in years. Street Fighter hitboxes aren't fucking terrible, because if they were people would go play Mortal Kombat or Tekken or Smash. They have to be good or no one would play them. Not so with Monster Hunter, so fuck making them good. Oh, we're introducing a new Pukei-Pukei variant that doesn't fight giant ass clouds out of its tail? Better not touch a single hitbox to make the new animations make any fucking sense. Oh, a Diaablos is doing anything at any point ever? Lets make its entire body an active hit zone. Oh, Namielle used her water attack and the animations have stopped? Fuck you, there's a lingering hitbox for no discernible reason. Oh, you're playing Rise and above the monster for any reason? Its hitbox goes to fucking Mars because we couldn't be fucked to make better hitboxes in a game where being in the air happens more than a first time insect glaive user.
Let's talk about punishment in Monster Hunter. I'm actually okay with stun. I slot in stun resist 3 as a religious practice, but I'm okay with it. Its the only punishment that makes you not play the game I'm okay with. Why are there so many OTHER punishments that mean you don't get to play the game? Tremors and roars and paralysis and hits that make to do an extremely long animation to get your back on the ground before you can get up. Iceblight is a punishment that's bad that AFFECTS THE WAY YOU PLAY while affected by it. So does waterblight, fireblight, poison, thunderblight, blastblight, they are all punishments that aren't good when you have them, affect the way you play, and can be played against through items or just dodge rolling. Why the fuck is Capcom unable or unwilling to give the other punishments some dynamic gameplay that both allows you to KEEP PLAYING THE FUCKING GAME but also incentivize you to not get hit by it again. Roars could mute sound cues (which would admittedly require sound cues to be useful in any way). Tremors could give you a chance to trip and get knocked down when you attack to make you choose between risky aggression or playing defensively. Paralysis could swap your inputs. Anything thats different than the usual which is, a good 60% of the time, our hitboxes suck, you don't get to play the game because you didn't instictvely know that Barioth's hipcheck behaved that way.
For a game so built on multiplayer, why are so many of the multiplayer functions terrible? Monster AI doesn't have to choose targets at random. Capcom could devote more than regional equivalent of 18 cents to server stability. Why the fuck can't I join a hunt if someone leaves it? Why the fuck do your friend need to watch a cutscene in every hunt before you're allowed to play with them? Why the fuck did someone see that concept cross their desk and greenlight it? Why the fuck are so many of the cutscenes unskippable? Who the absolute fuck keeps trying to tell stories in Monster Hunter and using that justify all these shitty cutscenes? NO ONE CARES WHY WE'RE KILLING KAIJU AND TURNING THEM INTO HATS, JUST LET ME HIT IT WITH A FUCKING STICK. Why did it take until Sunbreak to add in the Shcok Absorber jewel? Yes, sure, there is some skill expression in the party not knocking each other around. However, lets examine when people aren't. Picture this: you're fighting Alatreon, its down, you're charging up your TCS, you're about to hit that juicy horn break...and then a longsword user launches you. You don't get the horn break and the hunt ends when everyone carts to the nuke. You lost your TCS and hunt and you're furious with that longsword user. That longsword user doesn't know what happened, learned nothing, doesn't realize they launched you, and will do it again. And again. And again. That adds nothing to the game. It only subtracts from the experience of others. If the posts about other hunters launching people ever slowed, I might rethink this stance, but they don't. Because its not a fun mechanic. It shouldn't even require a single decoration slot, but at least it doesn't take mutliple 3 slots any more.
Capcom has said they want to devote more to the Monster Hunter games. I hope they do. I hope they devote resources to making the extremely shitty, grating aspects of the series better. Because I do genuinely love this game. I wouldn't have thousands of hours across two games if I didn't. I just really wish it didn't make me shout "What the fuck was that bullshit?" more than League of Legends.
Anyway, peace. I'm going to go back to waiting for the Safi siege to start again so I can kill the last three monsters in Iceborne and proceed to never touch the clutch claw again.
Fuck the clutch claw.

HIt it off with a friend of a friend a couple months ago. Our friendship seemed kind of tense at first, but after spending some time hanging out with them, we've really grown close. We hang out several times a week, text a lot, send memes, and have shared a lot of personal stuff between the two of us. Eventually I start to question if he likes me more than a friend given how much we hang out, our repoire, and a few other things they did for me but ostensibly not anyone else. I ended up confessing my crush to him while I was having a rough night due to some long term stuff going on in my personal life. He very politely declined, saying that this happens a lot to him, and that was that.
Before and since that, he's been trying to help me overcome my issues with anxiety and lack of confidence and it's honestly helped a lot, and he's still an awesome friend. He's said he was in a similar place at a point in his life so that's why he feels so strongly about it. The feelings, however, still haven't gone away. Is it okay for them to stick around? If not, how do I shake them? He's too good of a person to not keep in my life, and I don't want my 'delusions' (for lack of a better word) ruining our friendship. I understand it's a common thing for lonlier people to get attached to those that give them the time of day, and this isn't the first time something like that has happened to me. Am I confused about how I feel about him? Is there anything I should do?

Am I wrong for soft ghosting one of my “friends”?
Wow, this one might me a long one.
So I moved to (undisclosed location) sometime in the beginning of last year. When I moved here I really had no friends but became heavily involved in this yoga studio I went to and slowly but surely started to make friends/acquaintances with the teacher that instructed me.
From afar she seemed super cool and I became pretty enthralled with her and her life. I would look forward so heavily to going to her classes every week and was quite intrigued by her. I thought she was funny, bubbly, spunky, cool, and always made jokes during class that made me laugh. As months went by I found myself wanting to get closer and closer to her, and she even invited me out one time to one of her “events” she was hosting. Here’s the thing;
It seemed like we had a lot in common and was just generally craving camaraderie and connection. I felt a sense of belonging with her and wanted to expand that energy in my life, and wanted to do anything I could to get closer to her for those reasons. But I guess this is where we have the first red flag;
One day after class, she extended an invitation to me to a meet up of sorts, (I’m being sparing with details just out of fear she might read this) and when she invited me it seemed like it was gonna be this big thing with lots of people invited, and just in general in talking to her it seemed as if she was very well connected and respected within her community, had lots of friends and connects, and I thought this was gonna be a huge thing that I was even lucky to be invited to. I was super stoked and exited about it.
However when the day of the event came, I was super tired and slow to getting up that morning. I figured I would just make my way over whenever I could since it seemed causal and like you could drop in whenever. I also figured there would be more than enough people that no one would really even notice my arrival or departure. (Plus, sometimes it’s chic to be fashionably late ;) ). Well…. I was most definitely wrong.
When I showed up I heard someone excitedly shout my name, which was her, and she waved me down to the “meet up”…. There was literally only one person there and it had been going on for 2+ hours. I was definitely a bit unnerved, but also didn’t want to be rude, and like I said I was just kind of happy to be there and be getting invited to things. But it was kinda like, damn…. Are these all the friends you have?
I had dressed up and looked cute but they were just kind of wearing whatever and I felt awkward and overdressed and also embarrassed now that I was even this late because it was clearly much more intimate than I expected and my arrival/absence was DEFINITELY felt. We had chatted a bit and that was cool but then I remember her confessing me that she had cried to her husband earlier that morning that she was scared nobody was going to show up and how thrilled she was that not only one, but TWO people had showed up and that it felt like she had friends. I wasn’t really sure what to say or make of that.
She also…. The whole time (and mind you, this is our first legitimate interaction out of yoga class) just kind of kept talking maniacally AT me, not to me, and was coming off almost even manic, and she had formed a white crust of spit around her mouth probably from talking so much that I couldn’t look away from. To say the least, I was a bit disturbed coming away from this interaction but I just kept telling myself that I was being too judgmental of her and to give it a chance and that maybe she was just hyper that day and that I had probably had unintentional embarrassing hygiene moments as well. So I keep going to class and that’s that.
There were several other red flag moments between this first interaction and the next one, mostly just her incredibly cringey social media presence that I genuinely almost couldn’t stand to see without feeling like I was withering away inside, but maybe I’ll save that for later. It’s almost like I couldn’t just see that the person I thought was so cool in class and the person I was seeing her be online and outside of class were the same people. But I digress.
She had actually ended up inviting me to go with her on one of her international yoga retreats, and I was actually very excited about this. I had very little time with her in between classes, and my attraction (but also repulsion) with her was growing stronger and I wanted to figure her out and see what she was really about and what the pull I was feeling towards her was about. Plus, I love travelling and just thought it would be fun.
I had a pretty good time, but we didn’t get to talk much, HOWEVER, I do remember this distinct point during the trip where it was myself, 2-3 other fiends I had made, her brother, and her “best friend” who had happened to be her brother’s Gf in a room together, talking. the brother, the best friend, and the other friend I made just all completely started talking shit about her and I was so confused.
I felt super hurt by this actually, bc I felt like I had a inexplicable bond with the teacher who had invited me, she was the reason we were all there in that beautiful place, and I just couldn’t understand why they were choosing to be so negative about someone I thought they had claimed (at least by title) to love. They would say things like “I can’t fucking stand your sister” (one of the friends I made to the brother) and everyone would just sigh and put their hands in their head and be like “I know…. I know. It’s a lot. She’s a lot”. And I didn’t have anything to add to the conversation because I was just so confused and I knew the girl would just be so upset if she heard them saying this. Anyway… that confusion stuck with me for a while after.
Fast forward maybe a month or two, I started hanging out with her more regularly myself outside of class. I would say this is when we became more “friends”. She would invite me to other teachers classes and we would talk a lot about our lives.
I learned how she felt about her close friend and family connections, and how she often felt hurt and betrayed by people close to her and how some of her friends were actually really shady. I just got a general sense of her feeling scapegoated and libeled against by ppl that got close to her and how she had walls up for that reason.
She also shared to me that most of her family was cut off, with the exception of her brother who she had recently rekindled a connection with, hence why he was on that trip. I felt very bad for her and wanted to be a source of comfort and support, and she would often comment on how she felt a sense of camaraderie with me since I also (LITERALLY) had no family and how we have to make our chosen family. This was a sweet sentiment, for sure, but I was still sussing out how I felt about her.
So one day, a mutual friend that had been on the trip with us was having a birthday party and I guess that she was invited to it, too. She sat down next to me and I was SUPER excited to see her as I was craving her energy and hadn’t seen her in some time. But then… idk. She had had a lot to drink. I’m fully aware that she’s kind of a quirky individual, and has a way of socializing which I can sometimes find a bit uncomfortable or even intense, (like the first meetup I spoke of) but this time it was even more and seemed to be heightened by the drinking.
Her husband was sitting on her other side and kept trying to interject and insinuate that maybe she was doing a bit much, but I think she was drunk enough to the point that she just found it funny and had no awareness of how she was coming off. There’s not even a way I can describe it really, but she just seemed a bit obsessive over me and kept making jokes that were literally not funny and seemed to have lost all ability to read the room. I also had noticed that she had only had TWO beers and was acting like this already which I found… really strange.
So at some point she goes to the bathroom, and I also get in line for the bathroom about 5 mins later. When I get up to the bathroom, she’s still in there, and there’s a line of about 2 or 3 people ahead of me. When she exits the bathroom she immediately spots me and rushes up to me and just starts… drunkenly spewing.
I can’t even remember what she was saying, but we were in a pretty high class establishment and I remember her gushing over me and was saying “I just want to let you know that I don’t really have friends or let people close to me in my circle but I just want to let you know that YOU are officially in my circle and you have earned friend status to me and I’ve let you in my circle…” or something like that. And I just kept thinking, who tf even says that??? I’m pretty sure the last time I checked that friendship is a two way street and it’s not just a title we bestow onto some “lucky” person and that’s that. Like girl… let ME decide if I want to be friends too first.
It was partially that, and also the way she was drunkenly spewing was so awkward and embarrassing bc I could tell all the other women in line were like who tf is this bitch and why is she saying all this weird stuff and like, does she even know you?? Lol. Just a very odd interaction which again, I kind of wrote off, but the unsettling feeling kind of just kept growing after that point.
Then, the time that I REALLY knew something was up came up about a month later, but there are still some key details of this story that are missing. Perhaps I will discuss them later.
SO. About a month later, she invited me last minute to this concert of sorts. When I got there, I was super excited to be there, the vibes were amazing and we were having so much fun. But she had definitely had a lot, A LOT to drink. I didn’t mind at first, because everyone there seemed severely under the influence, but she would just start randomly kind of lashing out at people in the crowd and she thought it was funny? She first loudly and audibly started making fun of some guys shoes in front of us, and was trying to laugh with me as if I would join in, but when his girl friend turned around and shot her a dirty look, she had the nerve to be self conscious and mad about it. She would loudly poke fun at other people in the crowd too, but not in a ha-ha way, just in a straight up mean and asshole way and I could not understand why she would even do that or why she thought that was funny.
Again, I kind of just awkwardly laughed and brushed it off. But when all was said and done and the concert was closing, she enthusiastically invited me back to go to her house and soak in her hot tub. I kept saying are you sure?? But she was like please, PLEASE come, we have weed, we’ll smoke you out and other things and I wanted to continue the vibes because it sounded fun. And then….. completely downhill.
I had arrived back at their place before she did, but as soon as I saw them go in I knocked. When I walked in, she was pale faced up on the floor, non verbal, pretty much motionless, and staring at the ceiling. I was like oh no… it seemed like she got a bit too much to drink. I waited patiently there for a few mins, unsure of what to do as I had just drove for 45 mins and I was still 25 mins in the opposite direction away from home.
I kind of just sat around, and hoped that she would sober up. I asked if she was drunk… she said no. She ran to her bathroom multiple times while her husband (a complete socially awkward case himself) tried to take care of her while she threw up. I asked her if she puked and she also said no. So I didn’t really know what to do. I was trying to offer support/ empathy but she just kept denying any claims of anything being amiss. Her husband left to pick up a pizza and I probably just should’ve left but I’m telling you I had no idea how to exit their house without making it weird or awkward. And I also was hungry. So I just stayed… and waited for the pizza.
What happened in those 20-30 mins, I don’t even know if I can fully explain. She just became… so FUCKING WEIRD. she clearly was embarrassed that I was seeing her drunk, and I think was trying to over compensate. But she just turned into an absolute freak show and I’ve never been more uncomfortable in my life.
She started hoola hooping in my face, and making these weird gremlin faces and noises at me, fell to the floor, rolled round on the floor while continuing to make the noises, convulsed on the floor, but tried to do it in a funny way, tried to make an interpretive dance for me… I’ve truly never experienced something so uncomfortable in my life. I probably do sound like an asshole, but I swear you would just have to be there to see how a) gross and b) weird and actually scary it was. I was genuinely frightened.
I’ve never seen anyone act like that and I didn’t want to make her more uncomfortable or weird by showing her how clearly uncomfortable I actually was. so I just sat there and tried to laugh. But it probably came off as more of a grimace. And for the record, this woman is 33. I am 26. It was just. Obscene.
And she’s tried to act like and say multiple times that she’s like my “big sister”. Now I’ve seen a lot of drunk behavior, but not this. I wolfed down my pizza, and so did she, and she started to get even more philosophical and weird on me, showing me songs and art which were quite frankly some of the worst things I’ve ever heard in my life, and I left as soon as I could.
I was so shaken and disturbed coming away from this, because like I said earlier, I thought she was a cool girl, but honestly her behavior and lack of control over herself completely terrified me. And it’s not like she was drinking liquor, it was just damn IPAs. And I just did not know what to do.
Some details I will try to add to this story, even though I know it’s monolithic at this point , is that 2 months prior to this she had gotten fired from the studio she worked at.
She had a mental breakdown during class because the manager was being mean to her, and he fired her on the spot. I remember being so angry with the owner, (honestly he IS a piece of shit human being) but I thought he was being sexist by calling her mentally unstable and I thought the way he handled things was unfair.
I went so far as to boycott the studio and completely remove myself from it in support of her and followed her to her new one. After the drunk #2 incident, I didn’t hang out with her very much, and only saw her during her class as I was locked into a certain number of classes I had paid for.
I remember her telling me that she had just started at ANOTHER studio, and got fired 3 days after on her birthday and she was talking about how unfair it was and how much of an asshole that new girl was for firing her… and I believed her. AGAIN.
I went so far as to block that girl on Instagram too, but deep down I kind of knew that she had probably just been fired bc let’s face it… as I was starting to discover, she WAS a lot. and the studio was in an upper class area , catered towards more upper echelon people, and I just don’t think she was fitting that image. I lent her an empathetic ear, because that’s all I would want in that situation.
But where she fucked up was sending me screenshot proof of the text exchange between her and that girl, thinking I would take her side, and later sending me screenshots of another conversation she had with the OTHER manager. She told me that this new girl fired her for bringing her husband to class. In my mind I was like, oh no, is she racist!?! Because her husband was black. But no, that’s not what I read at all.
It was the most reasonable, level headed response to someone ever, and laid out multiple offenses and reasons she didn’t want her at the studio. The reasons were honestly so embarrassing that I don’t know why she would send it to me and think I would side with her. She recently also sent me messages with the other boss and the last thing he says to her is “I hope you get help for your mental illness because whatever you have is serious and will impact all your relationships and business and things that you do”. And honestly I can now say in retrospect that those were the truest words ever spoken.
When I read these texts, I had a look back at my whole relationship with and how she would always paint everyone else to be the villain and how everyone is so mean to HER… and the whole time the common denominator was her. It was always her. And it made me rethink everything.
I’ve even had extensive conversations with some of the other people on her trip that were talking shit and couldn’t stand her and they all told me the same things. How it seemed like she was the coolest person ever and had her shit together and seemed like she was going places… but deep down she was just an absolute mess and pushed everyone away from her. And I no longer felt like I was going crazy.
But like I said, she formed a really close bond with me (I think from her perspective) and said she felt like my big sister and family, and shared all these stories about her feeling isolated and shut out by people, but now here I am, doing the exact same thing to her. Icing her out of my life. And I just wanna ask you guys…
Am the asshole?

Am I wrong for soft ghosting one of my “friends”?
Wow, this one might me a long one.
So I moved to (undisclosed location) sometime in the beginning of last year. When I moved here I really had no friends but became heavily involved in this yoga studio I went to and slowly but surely started to make friends/acquaintances with the teacher that instructed me.
From afar she seemed super cool and I became pretty enthralled with her and her life. I would look forward so heavily to going to her classes every week and was quite intrigued by her. I thought she was funny, bubbly, spunky, cool, and always made jokes during class that made me laugh. As months went by I found myself wanting to get closer and closer to her, and she even invited me out one time to one of her “events” she was hosting. Here’s the thing;
It seemed like we had a lot in common and was just generally craving camaraderie and connection. I felt a sense of belonging with her and wanted to expand that energy in my life, and wanted to do anything I could to get closer to her for those reasons. But I guess this is where we have the first red flag;
One day after class, she extended an invitation to me to a meet up of sorts, (I’m being sparing with details just out of fear she might read this) and when she invited me it seemed like it was gonna be this big thing with lots of people invited, and just in general in talking to her it seemed as if she was very well connected and respected within her community, had lots of friends and connects, and I thought this was gonna be a huge thing that I was even lucky to be invited to. I was super stoked and exited about it.
However when the day of the event came, I was super tired and slow to getting up that morning. I figured I would just make my way over whenever I could since it seemed causal and like you could drop in whenever. I also figured there would be more than enough people that no one would really even notice my arrival or departure. (Plus, sometimes it’s chic to be fashionably late ;) ). Well…. I was most definitely wrong.
When I showed up I heard someone excitedly shout my name, which was her, and she waved me down to the “meet up”…. There was literally only one person there and it had been going on for 2+ hours. I was definitely a bit unnerved, but also didn’t want to be rude, and like I said I was just kind of happy to be there and be getting invited to things. But it was kinda like, damn…. Are these all the friends you have?
I had dressed up and looked cute but they were just kind of wearing whatever and I felt awkward and overdressed and also embarrassed now that I was even this late because it was clearly much more intimate than I expected and my arrival/absence was DEFINITELY felt. We had chatted a bit and that was cool but then I remember her confessing me that she had cried to her husband earlier that morning that she was scared nobody was going to show up and how thrilled she was that not only one, but TWO people had showed up and that it felt like she had friends. I wasn’t really sure what to say or make of that.
She also…. The whole time (and mind you, this is our first legitimate interaction out of yoga class) just kind of kept talking maniacally AT me, not to me, and was coming off almost even manic, and she had formed a white crust of spit around her mouth probably from talking so much that I couldn’t look away from. To say the least, I was a bit disturbed coming away from this interaction but I just kept telling myself that I was being too judgmental of her and to give it a chance and that maybe she was just hyper that day and that I had probably had unintentional embarrassing hygiene moments as well. So I keep going to class and that’s that.
There were several other red flag moments between this first interaction and the next one, mostly just her incredibly cringey social media presence that I genuinely almost couldn’t stand to see without feeling like I was withering away inside, but maybe I’ll save that for later. It’s almost like I couldn’t just see that the person I thought was so cool in class and the person I was seeing her be online and outside of class were the same people. But I digress.
She had actually ended up inviting me to go with her on one of her international yoga retreats, and I was actually very excited about this. I had very little time with her in between classes, and my attraction (but also repulsion) with her was growing stronger and I wanted to figure her out and see what she was really about and what the pull I was feeling towards her was about. Plus, I love travelling and just thought it would be fun.
I had a pretty good time, but we didn’t get to talk much, HOWEVER, I do remember this distinct point during the trip where it was myself, 2-3 other fiends I had made, her brother, and her “best friend” who had happened to be her brother’s Gf in a room together, talking. the brother, the best friend, and the other friend I made just all completely started talking shit about her and I was so confused.
I felt super hurt by this actually, bc I felt like I had a inexplicable bond with the teacher who had invited me, she was the reason we were all there in that beautiful place, and I just couldn’t understand why they were choosing to be so negative about someone I thought they had claimed (at least by title) to love. They would say things like “I can’t fucking stand your sister” (one of the friends I made to the brother) and everyone would just sigh and put their hands in their head and be like “I know…. I know. It’s a lot. She’s a lot”. And I didn’t have anything to add to the conversation because I was just so confused and I knew the girl would just be so upset if she heard them saying this. Anyway… that confusion stuck with me for a while after.
Fast forward maybe a month or two, I started hanging out with her more regularly myself outside of class. I would say this is when we became more “friends”. She would invite me to other teachers classes and we would talk a lot about our lives.
I learned how she felt about her close friend and family connections, and how she often felt hurt and betrayed by people close to her and how some of her friends were actually really shady. I just got a general sense of her feeling scapegoated and libeled against by ppl that got close to her and how she had walls up for that reason.
She also shared to me that most of her family was cut off, with the exception of her brother who she had recently rekindled a connection with, hence why he was on that trip. I felt very bad for her and wanted to be a source of comfort and support, and she would often comment on how she felt a sense of camaraderie with me since I also (LITERALLY) had no family and how we have to make our chosen family. This was a sweet sentiment, for sure, but I was still sussing out how I felt about her.
So one day, a mutual friend that had been on the trip with us was having a birthday party and I guess that she was invited to it, too. She sat down next to me and I was SUPER excited to see her as I was craving her energy and hadn’t seen her in some time. But then… idk. She had had a lot to drink. I’m fully aware that she’s kind of a quirky individual, and has a way of socializing which I can sometimes find a bit uncomfortable or even intense, (like the first meetup I spoke of) but this time it was even more and seemed to be heightened by the drinking.
Her husband was sitting on her other side and kept trying to interject and insinuate that maybe she was doing a bit much, but I think she was drunk enough to the point that she just found it funny and had no awareness of how she was coming off. There’s not even a way I can describe it really, but she just seemed a bit obsessive over me and kept making jokes that were literally not funny and seemed to have lost all ability to read the room. I also had noticed that she had only had TWO beers and was acting like this already which I found… really strange.
So at some point she goes to the bathroom, and I also get in line for the bathroom about 5 mins later. When I get up to the bathroom, she’s still in there, and there’s a line of about 2 or 3 people ahead of me. When she exits the bathroom she immediately spots me and rushes up to me and just starts… drunkenly spewing.
I can’t even remember what she was saying, but we were in a pretty high class establishment and I remember her gushing over me and was saying “I just want to let you know that I don’t really have friends or let people close to me in my circle but I just want to let you know that YOU are officially in my circle and you have earned friend status to me and I’ve let you in my circle…” or something like that. And I just kept thinking, who tf even says that??? I’m pretty sure the last time I checked that friendship is a two way street and it’s not just a title we bestow onto some “lucky” person and that’s that. Like girl… let ME decide if I want to be friends too first.
It was partially that, and also the way she was drunkenly spewing was so awkward and embarrassing bc I could tell all the other women in line were like who tf is this bitch and why is she saying all this weird stuff and like, does she even know you?? Lol. Just a very odd interaction which again, I kind of wrote off, but the unsettling feeling kind of just kept growing after that point.
Then, the time that I REALLY knew something was up came up about a month later, but there are still some key details of this story that are missing. Perhaps I will discuss them later.
SO. About a month later, she invited me last minute to this concert of sorts. When I got there, I was super excited to be there, the vibes were amazing and we were having so much fun. But she had definitely had a lot, A LOT to drink. I didn’t mind at first, because everyone there seemed severely under the influence, but she would just start randomly kind of lashing out at people in the crowd and she thought it was funny? She first loudly and audibly started making fun of some guys shoes in front of us, and was trying to laugh with me as if I would join in, but when his girl friend turned around and shot her a dirty look, she had the nerve to be self conscious and mad about it. She would loudly poke fun at other people in the crowd too, but not in a ha-ha way, just in a straight up mean and asshole way and I could not understand why she would even do that or why she thought that was funny.
Again, I kind of just awkwardly laughed and brushed it off. But when all was said and done and the concert was closing, she enthusiastically invited me back to go to her house and soak in her hot tub. I kept saying are you sure?? But she was like please, PLEASE come, we have weed, we’ll smoke you out and other things and I wanted to continue the vibes because it sounded fun. And then….. completely downhill.
I had arrived back at their place before she did, but as soon as I saw them go in I knocked. When I walked in, she was pale faced up on the floor, non verbal, pretty much motionless, and staring at the ceiling. I was like oh no… it seemed like she got a bit too much to drink. I waited patiently there for a few mins, unsure of what to do as I had just drove for 45 mins and I was still 25 mins in the opposite direction away from home.
I kind of just sat around, and hoped that she would sober up. I asked if she was drunk… she said no. She ran to her bathroom multiple times while her husband (a complete socially awkward case himself) tried to take care of her while she threw up. I asked her if she puked and she also said no. So I didn’t really know what to do. I was trying to offer support/ empathy but she just kept denying any claims of anything being amiss. Her husband left to pick up a pizza and I probably just should’ve left but I’m telling you I had no idea how to exit their house without making it weird or awkward. And I also was hungry. So I just stayed… and waited for the pizza.
What happened in those 20-30 mins, I don’t even know if I can fully explain. She just became… so FUCKING WEIRD. she clearly was embarrassed that I was seeing her drunk, and I think was trying to over compensate. But she just turned into an absolute freak show and I’ve never been more uncomfortable in my life.
She started hoola hooping in my face, and making these weird gremlin faces and noises at me, fell to the floor, rolled round on the floor while continuing to make the noises, convulsed on the floor, but tried to do it in a funny way, tried to make an interpretive dance for me… I’ve truly never experienced something so uncomfortable in my life. I probably do sound like an asshole, but I swear you would just have to be there to see how a) gross and b) weird and actually scary it was. I was genuinely frightened.
I’ve never seen anyone act like that and I didn’t want to make her more uncomfortable or weird by showing her how clearly uncomfortable I actually was. so I just sat there and tried to laugh. But it probably came off as more of a grimace. And for the record, this woman is 33. I am 26. It was just. Obscene.
And she’s tried to act like and say multiple times that she’s like my “big sister”. Now I’ve seen a lot of drunk behavior, but not this. I wolfed down my pizza, and so did she, and she started to get even more philosophical and weird on me, showing me songs and art which were quite frankly some of the worst things I’ve ever heard in my life, and I left as soon as I could.
I was so shaken and disturbed coming away from this, because like I said earlier, I thought she was a cool girl, but honestly her behavior and lack of control over herself completely terrified me. And it’s not like she was drinking liquor, it was just damn IPAs. And I just did not know what to do.
Some details I will try to add to this story, even though I know it’s monolithic at this point , is that 2 months prior to this she had gotten fired from the studio she worked at.
She had a mental breakdown during class because the manager was being mean to her, and he fired her on the spot. I remember being so angry with the owner, (honestly he IS a piece of shit human being) but I thought he was being sexist by calling her mentally unstable and I thought the way he handled things was unfair.
I went so far as to boycott the studio and completely remove myself from it in support of her and followed her to her new one. After the drunk #2 incident, I didn’t hang out with her very much, and only saw her during her class as I was locked into a certain number of classes I had paid for.
I remember her telling me that she had just started at ANOTHER studio, and got fired 3 days after on her birthday and she was talking about how unfair it was and how much of an asshole that new girl was for firing her… and I believed her. AGAIN.
I went so far as to block that girl on Instagram too, but deep down I kind of knew that she had probably just been fired bc let’s face it… as I was starting to discover, she WAS a lot. and the studio was in an upper class area , catered towards more upper echelon people, and I just don’t think she was fitting that image. I lent her an empathetic ear, because that’s all I would want in that situation.
But where she fucked up was sending me screenshot proof of the text exchange between her and that girl, thinking I would take her side, and later sending me screenshots of another conversation she had with the OTHER manager. She told me that this new girl fired her for bringing her husband to class. In my mind I was like, oh no, is she racist!?! Because her husband was black. But no, that’s not what I read at all.
It was the most reasonable, level headed response to someone ever, and laid out multiple offenses and reasons she didn’t want her at the studio. The reasons were honestly so embarrassing that I don’t know why she would send it to me and think I would side with her. She recently also sent me messages with the other boss and the last thing he says to her is “I hope you get help for your mental illness because whatever you have is serious and will impact all your relationships and business and things that you do”. And honestly I can now say in retrospect that those were the truest words ever spoken.
When I read these texts, I had a look back at my whole relationship with and how she would always paint everyone else to be the villain and how everyone is so mean to HER… and the whole time the common denominator was her. It was always her. And it made me rethink everything.
I’ve even had extensive conversations with some of the other people on her trip that were talking shit and couldn’t stand her and they all told me the same things. How it seemed like she was the coolest person ever and had her shit together and seemed like she was going places… but deep down she was just an absolute mess and pushed everyone away from her. And I no longer felt like I was going crazy.
But like I said, she formed a really close bond with me (I think from her perspective) and said she felt like my big sister and family, and shared all these stories about her feeling isolated and shut out by people, but now here I am, doing the exact same thing to her. Icing her out of my life. And I just wanna ask you guys…
Am the asshole?

Hey everyone,
I'm 24, turning 25 this year. I grew up in a dysfunctional and abusive household and was orphaned at 11. Recently, I've realized that besides my depression and anxiety, I've been toxic and dysfunctional in my relationships, both romantic and platonic.I've had issues with love bombing and putting people on pedestals without really knowing them. I've also had anger issues and had to apologize to ex-partners for embarrassing outbursts. I've switched friend groups often because people distanced themselves from me. No one ever confronted me directly, but I think they saw me as either arrogant or as someone who knew what they were doing—but I didn't. After leaving my abusive home, I felt "free" for the first time and went a bit wild, focusing only on myself and what I felt I had missed out on—attention, love, and financial independence. I created unnecessary drama, including having two affairs with people who were already in relationships. I did it out of insecurity and for the thrill of being "chosen," not realizing how damaging it was. I've posted revealing pictures and sought attention on social media, trying to prove to the world (and myself) that my relationships were great. This behavior has made people keep me at arm's length. No one has called me out directly, but I can see they're cautious around me, and I’ve isolated myself as a result.
Owning up to my insecure and toxic behavior doesn't erase the past. I fear being judged and seen for my mistakes. I'm trying to grow in self-awareness, but I see others my age who are more emotionally mature. I've been childish in handling my reputation, not caring about consequences. I've found a therapist and psychiatrist, but I'm terrified of the costs and the commitment, especially as I struggle with financial habits. I'm nearly hopeless thinking about a potential partner discovering my past. I feel disgusted with myself and my lack of integrity. I know I created this mess and now I have to clean it up. This is a brief summary of everything I've done and experienced.
Is there hope for me? I see the need to reparent myself, as I wasn't raised with consistent love and care. How do I undo the life I've known and accept that I need to heal before pursuing new relationships or friendships? I've been lonely for most of my life, and now that I know I need to heal, I'm angry and sad about missing out on social connections in order to heal without hurting anyone. Does that make sense?
How do I accept that healing requires self-love and self-compassion, not shame? I'm in a severe depressive episode, and I know professionals would want to stabilize my mental state first, but I want to dive into learning new behaviors and coping mechanisms. I feel like shaming myself into changing.
How do I reparent myself joyfully and enjoy the healing journey? How do I forgive myself for the affairs, oversharing, attention-seeking behavior, and serial dating without minimizing my hurt? How do I learn to trust myself and know when I'm ready for new relationships or friendships? What differentiates red flags that can change from those that stay toxic?
Is it possible to establish a sense of self and self-worth at my age? What therapeutic approach would be best for me? Any therapists here with advice?
What else am I missing? Where do I start?
Any comments and tips are greatly appreciated. Thank you so much.

Hey everyone,
I'm 24, turning 25 this year. I grew up in a dysfunctional and abusive household and was orphaned at 11. Recently, I've realized that besides my depression and anxiety, I've been toxic and dysfunctional in my relationships, both romantic and platonic.I've had issues with love bombing and putting people on pedestals without really knowing them. I've also had anger issues and had to apologize to ex-partners for embarrassing outbursts. I've switched friend groups often because people distanced themselves from me. No one ever confronted me directly, but I think they saw me as either arrogant or as someone who knew what they were doing—but I didn't. After leaving my abusive home, I felt "free" for the first time and went a bit wild, focusing only on myself and what I felt I had missed out on—attention, love, and financial independence. I created unnecessary drama, including having two affairs with people who were already in relationships. I did it out of insecurity and for the thrill of being "chosen," not realizing how damaging it was. I've posted revealing pictures and sought attention on social media, trying to prove to the world (and myself) that my relationships were great. This behavior has made people keep me at arm's length. No one has called me out directly, but I can see they're cautious around me, and I’ve isolated myself as a result.
Owning up to my insecure and toxic behavior doesn't erase the past. I fear being judged and seen for my mistakes. I'm trying to grow in self-awareness, but I see others my age who are more emotionally mature. I've been childish in handling my reputation, not caring about consequences. I've found a therapist and psychiatrist, but I'm terrified of the costs and the commitment, especially as I struggle with financial habits. I'm nearly hopeless thinking about a potential partner discovering my past. I feel disgusted with myself and my lack of integrity. I know I created this mess and now I have to clean it up. This is a brief summary of everything I've done and experienced.
Is there hope for me? I see the need to reparent myself, as I wasn't raised with consistent love and care. How do I undo the life I've known and accept that I need to heal before pursuing new relationships or friendships? I've been lonely for most of my life, and now that I know I need to heal, I'm angry and sad about missing out on social connections in order to heal without hurting anyone. Does that make sense?
How do I accept that healing requires self-love and self-compassion, not shame? I'm in a severe depressive episode, and I know professionals would want to stabilize my mental state first, but I want to dive into learning new behaviors and coping mechanisms. I feel like shaming myself into changing.
How do I reparent myself joyfully and enjoy the healing journey? How do I forgive myself for the affairs, oversharing, attention-seeking behavior, and serial dating without minimizing my hurt? How do I learn to trust myself and know when I'm ready for new relationships or friendships? What differentiates red flags that can change from those that stay toxic?
Is it possible to establish a sense of self and self-worth at my age? What therapeutic approach would be best for me? Any therapists here with advice?
Any comments and tips are greatly appreciated. Thank you so much.

It's a long story. Please bear with me, my mind is really chaotic right now. I am in college and have a circle of female friends since the first semester. All of us went to the same major. This year will be our 4th year being a group of friends together. I cherished them a lot, they helped me a lot and one of the reasons I survived college so far.
Then came the guy. It's a little too common actually. I first got close with this guy when we're in our second year, that's on 2021. The classes were still held online due to COVID back then, so we actually never see each other in real life. He was a quiet, shy guy who didn't get noticed by others, and as the class' leader, I contacted him a lot to make sure he didn't feel leave out since the others were joking around frequently in the class' group chat. From that, he began to ask me if I already have a partner for group assigments (there were quite a lot of assigments for group of 2 people) and since my other friends know other people too, I said yes. We began to become a duo for every group assignments. He was responsible and working together with him was pretty enjoyable. We began to talk everyday about random things to each other. We even played game together. I considered him as a close friend at this point.
Then, I introduced him to one of my close friends since she also plays the game we played together. I didn't actually know the extend of their interactions, just that he helped her in game sometimes and I guess they played from time to time without me too. Then, one day in 2022, my class had a first gathering where we booked a villa and held many games and gift trades, you know the thing you did to create a bond since it's our first meeting as classmates due to the pandemic. I was very shy at the thought of seeing him in real life for the first time (he actually a good looking, he got really popular among the girls in my major after this gathering) and pretended not to see him, yet he walked up to me first and greeted me. That time was ... really magical. The villa was located in an mountain area so it was really cold and he gave me his hoodie since I got cold easily. We took a lot of photos together at that time, and it seemed everyone in our year already treated us like a "campus couple" because of that. I, of course, denied that I like him and said that we're only good friends because ... a girl like me is afraid of rejection and reading the signs wrong.
But after the gathering ended, one of my close friends (the one that I introduced to him to play game together before) suddenly announced to our female friends group that she has a crush on him. Little by little, she began to show hostility to me then there was this one point when she ignored me for two months. Even when I tried to talk to her in, she didn't give me respond. At that time, I was scared I will ruin this friendship groups. I was longing for female friendships, the thing you saw in movies, and I finally have one when I entered college so I saw them as a blessing. In high school, I either got bullied or not having friends at all since I was always coming straight home after school ended (I came from a poor family so I didn't have the money to hang out and friendship in high school requires money for me since I attended a prestigious school where almost everyone has rich parents). So, I made a decision to cut him off. I stopped talking to him. For group assignment, I grouped with other people. Little by little, the distance between the two of us widened. In the end, we didn't talk to each other anymore, and that's when my friend started to talk to me again. I didn't ruin my friendship group. My friend and him got close and by then she already "replaced" me being his group assignment's partner. I let him go, thinking that I didn't have the time and energy to date anyway since I was busy doing part-times to earn money. He came from a good family, and so does my close friend. They suited each other. I won't become a girl who abandoned her friend for a guy. Since summer of 2023, I never had a talk with him again.
I was fine, well not really. It hurt not being able to talk to him again when we used to be close, but I did this to myself. My close friend talked about him a lot in our group's chats. Apparently, she already confessed twice and got rejected. But she wanted to stay as a friend so both of them were "best friends" until now. She told us she still held feelings for him. She sent him flowers on his graduation since he graduated early than us. I didn't. Yet, he approached me and asked me to take photo together. After 1 year of no contact. On his graduation day, he asked me to take photos together, just two of us. With everyone watching.
Later, he confessed to me that he always has feelings for me. It was ... not quite a shock since I wasn't that dense, but still ... I got nauseous. Part of me wants him too, but the realistic part of me reminding me that I couldn't be that kind of girl who betrayed her close friend. I told him, I couldn't. I got a lot in my plates, I haven't graduated yet, I am not ready for relationship ... all the reasons because I couldn't bring myself to lie that I don't like him. Because I do. Very much. For years. He was everything I ever wanted in a boyfriend. He said he could wait until I graduate. He was waiting for me for the past 2 years, waiting a few months won't matter much.
What should I do? Should I confess everything to my friendship group? I want to talk to my friends about this, to hear their thoughts, but I couldn't because I always kept my feelings for him as a secret. Then, how about my friendships? My close friend who likes him will definitely got hurt ... am I just not suitable for friendships, since I wasn't honest? If you were in my position, will you choose your crush or your close friend?
(Thank you so much for taking your time to read this.)

Ok so as soon as I started this show I knew I wanted to come here when I was done to write about my thoughts but more importantly to get a sense of how this show was for people when it first came out. I get the sense that this show is very personal for those who watched it when it came out and so I want to start by providing some context of how I went into this show.
I am 23f, graduated from university last year and have been mostly at home since then working online. I had heard about girls when I was younger when it was coming out but never watched it or looked into it. But it was recently when I saw some fan edits and compilations of marnie antics on Youtube that I remembered the show and how it was about girls navigating life in their 20s. Great, I thought, I am a girl navigating life in her 20s maybe this is exactly what I need right now. Wrong! While I related to the general lack of direction each of the girls was experiencing, which I too have been struggling with, I spent most of the show being at best perplexed and at worst frustrated with the actions and choices of the characters, especially Hannah.
And I think that is at the core of what I want to understand about the show: are we supposed to like Hannah? If not like her, understand, sympathise or relate to her. I am someone who is all for unsympathetic or morally flawed characters because they explore the dirty parts of humanity and the difficulty of life. I was reminded a lot while watching this show, of Bojack Horseman who is objectively not a good person but while watching that show you see the the destructiveness of bojack's choices and actions, you see the effect it has on his life and those around him. I could never understand if Hannah was written in this way because as far as I could tell she experiences almost no repercussions for her actions and choices and the whole time I was wondering why. I can't list all the things I feel hannah was completely in the wrong for because I would be here for a long while but the ones that really shocked me was any example of her behaviour in workplace settings (especially when she was a teacher, how she was not fired is beyond me), her two day stand with that doctor and her brief but infuriating time at Iowa. This last point especially really frustrated me because she spends so much of this show talking about being a writer, more than actually writing and she finally gets the chance to pursue it and the thing that sends over the edge is a little criticism from her other classmates! Like is that not the whole point of joining a program like that and she was so rude to everyone and laughably unapologetic about it and then just decides to leave because it "wasn't right for her" and then the show just moves on from that and onto more drama with her and Adam.
I shall not get into the whole Adam and Hannah story because frankly I hated it. It started off with very bad foundations and I could never look past that and never see them as doomed lovers. However, surprisingly didn't hate Adam by the end of it, he was certainly a weird character but there was a certain charm to him.
Hannah's lack of consequences is especially evident when you compare her story to Marnie's. Marnie, I would say, is equally flawed as Hannah, maybe not the same flaws but definitely the same amount but you see where that gets her by the end of the show. In fact she has the biggest downgrade from when she started having a nice comfy job at an art gallery, a boyfriend a nice apartment to the end when she basically has no direction, a failed music a career and ex husband. I really did feel for her at times, but you could also see how her choices and outlook on life led her down that path. Meanwhile Hannah ends the show as a professor for writing! with a lovely house and a baby. Yes there are things that did not necessarily go her way but ultimately everything works out for her and she doesn't ever have to reflect on the many many wrong decisions she made in her life.
What also surprised me about this show, was how the friendship between the girls was handled. I say friendship very loosely because I truly do not think any of those girls liked or cared about each other and even if they did, they were all terrible friends. I ended up really appreciating the meeting they have at the end when Shosh basically cuts them out (completely justified in my opinion) and says they always make every interaction about themselves because that was the reality of the show. Marnie and Hannah especially spent so much time complaining about how the other always talks about themselves and their problems, especially with boys. This really disappointed me actually because I just assumed a show called Girls about four girl friends navigating their twenties in the big city would really explore the complexities of female friendships and ultimately highlight their importance. But all they did was fight and talk about boy drama until I wished they would just get new friend circles. I was honestly kind of excited for Hannah to be in Iowa because it could introduce some new friendship dynamics into the show and maybe reflect the toxicity what she has in new york but obviously I was wrong about that.
I think I could have maybe also enjoyed this show more despite its flaws if I found it funny. While there were times I had a chuckle here and there, but most of the time I was just cringing or just reminded about the frustrating nature of these characters, especially hannah. I am sure there were things she did that were played for laughs but because this show was grounded in reality, I just thought her actions were either cringy or wildly inappropriate.
I will end on a more positive note, on the things I liked, because I got through 6 whole seasons so there must have been things I enjoyed. Firstly, of the girls I loved Shoshana. She started of the show very sweet and lovely and welcoming and while she had that stint where she was just going through it and being rude after she cheated on ray (and never owned up to it). But once again, you see where those choices lead her and how she needed to step back and reflect and how she got to a point where she had to graduate late. When she moved to Japan I was so happy for her! That was another thing I really loved about this show, their depiction of Tokyo and Shosh's time there. I got to spend three months living in Tokyo two years ago and loved it! While I definitely had more knowledge and interest in Japan than Shosh before I went I still feel like it was the perfect place to experience when you're in your 20s. I felt Shosh's scenes there were very genuine and authentic and weren't too bogged down with the same tired cliches of tokyo. Even though she ends up moving back, I felt her time there really helped give her a better perspective of what she wants from life when she was back in New York.
Secondly, and probably the most surprising, I loved Ray. When he was first introduced as Charlie's friend I thought that he was kind of weird and gross especially when he wanted to snoop around the girls' apartment and read hannah's diary. But by the end of the show he was honestly my favourite character (which I think says a lot). His love of books and reading and art in general, the advice he gave the other characters, his little rants, his relationship with hermie (also loved hermie) and his motivation to do more with his life all grew on me to the point that I was just so happy when he was on screen. He was also just such a breath of fresh air from the chaos and drama of the other characters which is why I wasn't too crazy when he started having a thing for Marnie. That didn't really make any sense to me but at least he ended up with Abigail which was such a lovely pairing.
I recognise that this show is very much a product of its time and the fact that I wasn't in my 20s in the 2010s means that a lot of my experiences and outlook differ greatly from that time and affected how I watched this show. Which is why I really wanted to come here and hear from people who did experience it during that time.
TL;DR: Just finished Girls and want to understand what is the point of Hannah as a character and how did people find this show when it first came out.

Apologies in advance, I’ve no real people to tell this to, and it’s been weighing on my mind forever.
We met on an online chat room and started dating approximately 5 months ago, and at the very beginning it was fantastic. We were the same age, liked the same things, had the same humour and pursued the same field of academia. We were long distance, both science students, and we had made plans to someday move in with one another. Since she lived in the US and I in the UK, she stringently made it clear she couldn’t come to me, and that was fine. She had to take care of her mother and I offered to help her irregardless of the cost to me. When you’re in love with someone, your own needs pale compared to the other person. Because of how good it was, she would voice how she feared I’d ever leave her and I reassured her countless times that I would never, that I’d always love her. One of her friends, we'll call O, and I spoke and he was worried that because of her relationship, she’d be more preoccupied with me instead of their friendship and I reassured him that it didn’t matter what she did, their friendship was valuable to both of them and I wouldn’t stand in the way of it.
However a month in, and she began to change considerably. She became noticeably different, where we’d call every night, she began calling every 2 nights, or 3, and less frequently too. Her mood around me would change drastically, and she said it was because of a fatigue illness she had. And that was ok, I let it happen. People can be sick, right? That’s fine, as a partner I would be there for her. Some days she found it difficult to communicate the fact she loved me at all, and told me not to say it a lot since she couldn’t feel that way back at the time.
She would drive me to the point of hurting myself, she knew how much the promises of us living together meant to me, so she would sometimes say that she didn’t want that anymore. And all the time I felt dreadful. I blamed myself for it all, was I not doing enough? I had sent her almost £2,000 of my own money since she said she was poor. She knew how to get it out from me too, she would exploit my generous nature by saying she didn’t want it, but when I offered she would brighten up and shower me with the words she previously said she couldn’t. She also, crucially, told me not to say a word about our relationship to any of our immediate friends. She said that she didn’t want our relationship details to split apart a small friend group (that included O, who I'd been sent photos where he derided me and said that it wasn't fair that she talked to me more than him - which I forgave since he might've had the wrong impression or something).
One night, she had an episode and snapped at me, saying that we’d break up because she couldn’t be a partner to me anymore. She said it was unfair how I would move over to her, knowing she couldn’t do the same to me. And I stayed and comforted her, I was determined to salvage it because I genuinely loved her with all my heart. That night, she was rushed to the hospital because of the episode, and I was terrified. I stayed with her all night, didn’t sleep at all because of the difference in time zones, and I sent her money for the cab back. And the next day, she said it was a mistake breaking up with me and that she wanted to stay together because she still loved me. I was overjoyed.
Then, she became even more distant. She would find small things in my mannerisms and call me out on them, such as me making jokes or not understanding certain things about life. One incident got so bad I had to leave the call midway because of how she would rant and curse me out for simply not understanding the subject matter we were discussing. Then, one day, we were in a collective call with the aforementioned friend group, and she barely paid me any notice, mostly interacting with O and ignoring me completely. I sent her a message where all I did was ask about how she was, and she broke it off again, this time for good. During the time we got back together, I had sent her another ~£300.
The next few weeks are a blur, since several instances of my personal life started going south. I had finals coming up, a pillar of my community had passed away, my mother had been found to have a tumor in her uterus, my two siblings and my father both got sick - all of this on top of the excruciating pain of a break up.O was messaging me, saying how lucky I was to have had her to begin with and that I somehow met her standards in a way to comfort me. She kept reiterating she wanted us to be friends, and a part of me still loved her. I'm someone who tries to see the good in everyone, so I made up excuses to forgive her. I think she knew about this, because she'd send me memes with captions like "where my hug at" and so on. So I told her about my situation, and she pressed about information about my mother. I told her I mentally wasn't prepared to handle any of these, since I was in a pit of my own sorrow, but she pressed. Once I told her, she alleged I faked the entire thing. She said that when we were dating, she'd noticed "inconsistencies" about my statements (but for some reason never brought them up) then attempted to hammer in the fact I was a liar by stating that the details I had given surrounding diagnostic criteria and the treatment methods were widely different to what she knew - irrespective of the fact that we both lived in different countries.
Once I asked her to bring up the inconsistencies she mentioned, she did, and I debunked them instantly. One such as how whenever she argued back with me I always changed my opinions to match hers, which I said was because I'm genuinely not an argumentative person and would prefer not to argue with someone I cared so much about. She said that the chill attitude I had suddenly changed when it was revealed someone was verbally abusing her - as if it wasn't my responsibility at the time to defend my GF.
I sent her proof of everything, but she ignored. She said that if I couldn't justify why I was so supposedly inconsistent surrounding my own mother's potential cancer, she'd cut me off for good, and she gave me a day. Bearing in mind that I had told her multiple times I wasn't in the best space of mind to talk about any of this, and despite the fact that we lived in different countries. She refused to take any of these explanations.
So, I opened up to a friend about her abusing me, he then told someone (L) he trusted about how she was abusive to me and the response was immediate. L must've shared what I said to her friends, and I was shown L saying that there was no way my ex could ever have done any of these things. Within an instant, O was screaming in my DMs about how horrible of a person I was to even insinuate she had abused me, and he took measures to get me removed from every one of our communities despite him even admitting it was wrong.
To put icing on the shit covered cake this was, immediately after our breakup, everything she said she couldn't do when we were in a relationship, she was doing to O behind my back. She was video calling him on the regular, telling him aspects about our relationship, showing him our private messages behind my back despite her vehemently insisting to me not to do that exact thing.
Nobody came to me for my side of the story, simply because nobody believed she could ever do such a thing, and I was punished for merely speaking out about my abuse to people I believed I could trust.

Hi! I’m 32F and would love to make some friends who have the time to develop a genuine friendship. My husband and I moved two years ago and I don’t have that many friends where I live, so would love to connect with people here! Send me a message if you’d like to chat 😊 Here’s a little more about me:
-I am somewhat introverted but love having deep conversations with people that leave me feeling more connected -My dream is to become a published author -I love music, specifically Chappell Roan, Taylor Swift, Sabrina Carpenter, and more. -I love to read but haven’t read a book yet this year because I’ve been reading fan fiction (I’m a bit of a nerd haha). -I am pretty sensitive and empathetic. I feel things very deeply. -I am open about my mental health as it helps break the stigma. I struggle with anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder, but I’m in recovery and see a therapist every week. I’m not expecting friends to serve as my therapist, but think it’s important that you are aware of my mental health. -I have been married for two years. -I’m a morning person and enjoy going to the gym before work.
Anyways send me a message if you’d like to chat!

This could be a long one. Or maybe it will be short, I don't know.
I am 24, turning 25 at the end of the year. Grew up in a dysfunctional, abusive household. Adoptee, orphaned at 11. I have now noticed that apart from depression and anxiety, I have been toxic and dysfunctional in my relationships (platonic and romantic). I have love bombed and put people on a pedestal without even knowing enough about them to categorize them as such important people in my life. I have had anger issues and had to apologize to my ex partners for outbursts that embarrassed them and was disrespectful. I have switched friend groups a lot because people have become distant towards me and after noticing it a few times, I just know when they are slowly removing themselves from my life and I do them a favor and isolate myself. No one has ever had a talk where they point things out and then proceeded to cut me off, but I think it is because they saw me as 1) cocky, arrogant, not teachable or 2) an adult that knows what they are doing - jokes on them, I did not. (Or third option, the mood swings that come with depression are not easy to handle for those around me. Everyone is pro mental health but also those struggling are often a menace. Anyways.) After leaving my abusive childhood home I felt “freedom” for the first time and went crazy! Too crazy, with no regards for others as I was feeding my inner child with all that she “missed” out on (attention, love, my own money etc.). I have created unnecessary drama by having two affairs with taken people. I did it out of insecurity and retrospectively, because I probably felt a high from them “choosing” me and did not understand that them choosing me was not a compliment. It’s not a case of having been outed on social media or so, more so, within my community I just notice people keeping me at an arm's length. When you post revealing pictures, dress a certain way, look for attention, post your partner (now ex) excessively (essentially trying to prove to the world how good the relationship is), at some point, people call your bs on how insecure you are and how much you base your self-worth on external validation and factors, how you have no sense of shame (not because you don’t care, but because you don’t know - low social awareness kind of thing). No one has come to me to call me out, but again, I am silently watching people be very careful with how they engage with me. And I myself have gone into isolation too. It’s frustrating as owning up to insecure, immature, toxic behavior does not mean it never happened. I have a severe fear of being seen/perceived now. "What if who they saw me as is who they'll ever believe me to be?" kind of thing. I am growing in self awareness at an age where I see many other people my age be further in their emotional maturity. I wish I was raised better. Good upbringing is such a privilege! I have been very childish in how I handled my reputation. Children don’t care for repercussions, I never did either. And yes I have found a therapist and psychiatrist on whose waiting lists I am on (but I am terrified to say the least as where I live I have to pay everything by myself and you guessed it - I don’t have good financial habits established yet and am scared to start therapy and possibly medication and not be able to continue treatment till I heal what is likely C-PTSD as these things are just highly expensive). Now that some enlightenment is happening, I am almost hopeless as if a potential partner did some searching, what they would find out could be problematic. These things did not happen at an age where I was a child, people actually expect me to be an adult. I am disgusted by myself and my former lack of integrity. I understand I find myself in a mess I single handedly created. This is a very short version of everything that has happened, that I did and so on.
How much hope is there really for me? I see a need to reparent myself, I would say I (obviously) was not raised very well under care and consistent love and have sought it in all the wrong places.
How do I undo life as I know it?
How do I come to terms with having to heal before I put myself back out there into the dating pool and even search for new friendships while I work on myself. I have been lonely for the majority of my life already and now that I know of my need to heal, I feel angry and sad that I may not be able to enjoy social connections for a while. Does that make sense? To protect others.
How do I accept that I can only heal from a place of self-love and self-compassion, not shame? I am currently in a severe depressive episode and already know that any doctor, psychologist, psychiatrist would probably focus on getting me to a stable mental state first. But I would prefer to go straight into learning new behavioral skills, healthy coping mechanisms and so on.. I feel like shaming myself into changing atm, which is funny as I want to stop pleasing people but am also changing amongst other reasons to be more likable by society?
How do I reparent myself joyfully? What can I do to enjoy this healing journey? Like seriously “re-raise” myself.
How do I forgive myself for the affairs (I’ve owned up to them to the women), the cringe oversharing, the skimpy outfits, the serial dating and so on? (without minimizing my home-wrecking)
How do I learn to trust myself, to trust that I don't f up any new relationship or friendship?
How do I measure when I am ready and healthy/healthier? What differentiates former red flags that turn into green flags from those that remain toxic, dysfunctional and so on?
Is it even possible to establish a sense of self and self-worth at my age? Should that not have happened by now?
What therapeutic modality would be best for me? Any therapists here by any chance? Can I even truly get rid of my baggage?
LOL: Men, would you date me based on what you heard lol? Given I have done “the work”. Please elaborate then what the “work” is. How do I redeem myself? I’d potentially also like to hear from the people that believe “people don’t change”. I’d like your view of things too if possible. Any comment and tip helps. Thank you so much.
Also: I newly found to Christ and would appreciate hearing from Christians too. From anyone really.
Please keep in mind that money is an issue unfortunately. I would love mentorship, therapy, to be surrounded by "elders" that can help me mature, are there any - idk- programs that are free?

Hi all, baby gay here and barely out to myself. I strongly identify with pan for the reason that gender isn’t a boundary to me.
Torn about a friend of mine. We met two years ago and our just energies synced. It’s platonic. I adore our friendship and I want to keep it going because they’re the first friend I’ve had who is trans.
I’m really not feeling sexual feelings. I don’t know how to describe it other than deep happy emotional feelings.
They…

• Reveal things about themselves that they don’t reveal to other people (as far as I know). Deep trauma stuff, crafting, mental health, genderqueer stuff and such.
• Get really close and sometimes touch arms briefly when looking at things. Is this normal?
• Verbally commented on a photo I’d posted like ten years ago on my Facebook feed.
• Hold gazes for a long time but it could be just me?
• Sit or stand really close, like right in my bubble
• Change their body language as soon as it goes from three or four people to just us.

I want to not screw up this friendship, because I enjoy their company exactly as it’s happening.
I wanted to know, is it more typical for people in the community to be more affectionate even platonically?

Unless you are ready to handle the reaper cushions.

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
― Mark Twain

general information	additional information
name: Micah Di Santis	preferred name: Myka, Mike
d.o.b.: 10 June 20XX	age: 16
nationality: Sicilian	hometown: Sicily, Italy
gender identity: cis-male	gender expression: male
sexual orientation: Undecided	preferred pronouns: he / him / his

• Half-blood- and non-half-blood-related conundrums: ADHD (attention deficiency and hyperactivity disorder), Dyslexia

relation	name/s	age	relationship
divine parent	Charon, The Ferryman	old	Micah still has no idea what to think about his dad. Speaking with him during the visit to Olympus did nothing to clear things up. The man, or was it immortal, was blunt and yet, his son's opinion of him was still up in the air, though leaning more to the positive side. At least Micah has the connections to get himself an admittedly fantastic tailored suit.
mortal parent	???	???	Micah has no idea who his biological mother is. The only reason he knew who his father was before he came to camp was because the spirits told him.
mortal adoptive parent	Maria Di Santis	32 years old	If Marco was a saint then Maria was a saintess through and through. Everything she did, she did with someone else in mind. From the day she adopted Micah to the moment Marco died, Micah did not see her cry for herself at all. She'd cry when a little boy got hurt and would offer help or cry when she saw a cat get kicked by some drunk douchebag.
mortal adoptive parent	Vincino (Vinny) Bertelli	37 years old	Vincino is an absurdly rich man who was born and raised in Sicily. He found Maira through her singing on the side of the road to raise money for Micah's trip to the US. He offered to take her in because he liked her and sponsored Micah's trip by giving him some money and a ticket onto a transatlantic cruise ship headed to New York City. All things considered, he's a kind and considerate man who loves Maria.
adoptive brother	Marco Di Santis	14 years old, Deceased	Marco Di Santis was a saint. Ever since he learned the word 'kindness', he was absorbed and defined by it. He loved seeing the smiles bloom on people's faces when he shared some bread or helped them with something but what he truly loved more than anything else was sailing and playing the piano. He was handsome beyond reason, having pale blonde hair and clear blue eyes, though he never had a chance to grow into it fully.
dead guy	Chris	16 years old, Deceased	Like Marco, Chris is one big ball of sunshine. The only difference is he's a ghost. Micah met Chris on the cruise he stowed away on to get to the US and the ghost promptly joined him, though reluctantly because he was watching over his parents and little brother, due to finding him interesting. Like Marco, Chris is handsome though he had more time to grow into his looks. Framed by golden hair and chocolate brown eyes, Micah wouldn't have doubted it if the boy was very popular during his living days.
friend	Willow 'Will' Crest	16 years old	One of the more laid-back campers Micah had met, Willow became something of a friend to the son of Charon, though they started off more as discussion partners than anything else. And besides, being chill-buddies is pretty fun on its own. Who knows where things can go from there?
friend	Rachel 'Rocky' Williams	17 years old	Rocky was one of the first people Micah met upon arriving at camp and her enthusiasm, uncharacteristic for a child of a chthonic god, immediately made her stand out. Though he genuinely has no idea what goes through Rocky's head, Micah considers them close, and okay, maybe he has a minuscule crush on her.
friend/former cabin-mate	Ramona Herrera	16 years old	Being another camper who met Micah's criteria for friendship (i.e. Be chill and relax), Ramona is someone who Micah doesn't know too much about. Much like Kit, who Micah has seen around camp and the Hermes Cabin, she is a mystery to him. Though he does enjoy trying to spot which corner she's hiding in at any given camp gathering.
acquaintance (?)	Mathew Knight	15 years old	Matt is, as far as friendship is concerned, a work-in-progress. Micah's father had recommended getting to know the son of Hades and though he'd lost himself in school shortly after, Micah had made introductions.

appearance

faceclaim	height	weight	hair	eyes	skin
FC, Art by Charlie Bowater	5’11”	Doesn't care	Black	Amber, fiery like gold	Lightly tanned, peppered with a few more recent thin scars from his time at camp

description: Micah is a fairly restrained person when it comes to clothes. Usually, he'd only grab a long-sleeved shirt and some jeans, feeling content. Most of his clothing is fairly average, what with them being of all sorts of muted colors and sorts of clothing. He isn't used to expressing himself whether it is though clothing or other methods.
equipment:

• Folding Knife; The cleaver-shaped folding knife was a present from his brother and Micah has taken to using it for almost everything in his day to day. When his mother fell ill after Marco's death, Micah had to scrub the docks, cut rope to secure the boats, and even got to work on some boats during outings for extra cash. The knife became like a lifeline, being used for everything he had to do.
• Bead Necklace; Micah has been at camp for a year now.
• Monster Directory; Over the years, Micah has seen one or two monsters in their undisguised forms and has taken to keeping note of them by drawing them in as great a detail as he can remember in a separate notebook from the rest of his drawings while also making notes of tactics that worked against them.
• Sketchbook; Ever since he started drawing, Micah has had a good amount of sketchbooks, most of which he donated to orphanages in Sicily for the little kids to enjoy the drawings if they weren't destroyed by seawater or other kids. After he donated his last one with a few pages blank at the end, he got himself a new book, this one being leather-bound and practically a blank slate. He's glad to have an abundance of space to draw as his story unfolds.
• Art Supplies; A good amount of colored and uncolored pencils, all in different states of use, either dull or sharp, long or short, and an eraser in a dark brown leather box.
• Satchel; The over-the-shoulder bag Micah carries around with all of his items. It's nothing special, just an olive green bag with a good amount of compartments and space.
• Throwing Knife Bandolier; Micah's choice of weapon, the bandolier he carries is easy to hide under civilian clothes, fast to access, and easy to use. The knives are of standard make and easily replaceable with others from the armory, though Micah tends to clean and sharpen them himself after each use.

abilities:
* – modmailed / custom

godrent domain powers: 

a) Dead Communication; Ever since his close brush with death, Micah's powers surged. His father's connection to spirits and those who have died became his and as such he can now see and communicate with the spirits of the dead. They have been his only source of information on his father. He likes to build a network of spirits whenever he goes somewhere new so he can gather information as fast as possible.
b) Shadow Camouflage; From a fairly young age, Micah wasn't much of a social butterfly. Most of the time, he felt most comfortable in a shadowy nook where the lines of his body would be broken by shadows, using the ability unconsciously. After his near-death experience, Micah became more aware of his ability to hide in shadows and learned to use it more effectively than before.
c) Shadow Travel\;* After an unknowably long amount of time spent in Hades, Micah's father, Charon, was aligned with the underworld to which he led the souls of the dead. Similarly, Micah has inherited the ability to travel through shadows in short or long-range teleports.

godrent minor powers: 

a) River Step\;* The connection with the River Styx flows through Micah's veins as much as it does through his father's. The ability this connection granted him was the ability to walk on water, as long as there is no significant shift to the water, such as large waves.
b) Death Buff\;* Being a servant of the God of the Dead, it only makes sense that Charon would draw his own power from his master. As such, Micah has inherited a trait where he becomes stronger when around children of other deities of death, such as Hades, Melinoe, Zagreus, the Oneiroi, etc.
c) Aura of the Harbinger\;* Being a multifaceted deity, Charon passed down his multifacetedness in the form of an aura ability. Micah has the ability to project an aura with two opposite effects that work on separate targets. A calming effect affects any spirits within the aura while an imposing effect like that of Children of Hades affects living beings within the aura's range.

godrent major powers: 

a) Major Watercraft Manipulation\;* Being known as the Ferryman of the Dead, it only makes sense for Charon, and Micah by extension, to have dominion over watercraft. Micah's control over watercraft was one of the first powers he discovered and the power that is most intertwined with him in his entirety. He has inherited the ability to gain absolute control over any and all watercraft down to the rigging and ropes.

skillset 

Over the years, Micah has picked up a good variety of skills, including fishing and rope work. Still, there have been a great many learning experiences for the boy on the streets of Sicily. Free running came as a given to any child of below-average means in Sicily but Micah was significantly worse than most thanks to a leg injury he got at the age of thirteen. Drawing was the only real luxury he had during his time when he wasn't working. A young lady from a carnival that was passing through taught him how to use throwing knives after he helped her find her way around the city. He learned ballet by watching, sitting for hours outside a studio every day for weeks until he'd gotten good enough to practice independently, which led to his interest in gymnastics. One of the older neighborhood boys took to teaching Micah, his brother, and the other kids how to read and write in English. Micah's adoptive mother insisted on teaching him how to speak English from a young age. Now, he can speak English with a barely noticeable Sicilian accent.
personality
Micah is about as quiet as you'd expect from a Chthonic kid. That isn't to say that he is particularly serious or brooding, in fact, even when he's upset, he rarely does either. He mainly remains silent because he isn't particularly talented at talking. His reactions to most things tend to be a bit muted unless something is especially funny or angering. Any of the kids that liked him or trusted him in Sicily did so because they understood that when it was needed, Micah would talk as much as was needed and would do what needed to be done to keep everyone safe.
Fatal Flaw; Vengefulness
backstory
Micah's past year at camp had been simultaneously the most relaxing and confusing year of his life. There had been a unfamiliarity that Micah had with anything to do with relaxation or really anything but working that had slowly melted away. He'd made friends and discovered passions that might have otherwise gone ignored for the rest of his life (Art was definitely one of those).
So, when school started to take over his time, Micah barely gave it any thought, settling back into his old work mentality, though now focused on mental instead of physical labor. Before he knew it, it was summer, school was out, and he was back at the start, not knowing how to get himself to relax.
now
Micah stared at the ground around the Range target blankly, the celestial bronze knives scattered around it refracting light. He was jolted out of his mental haze when a camper a few rows down yelled at him for standing in front of the target for so long. Quickly finishing up gathering his throwing knives, Micah slotted them into his bandolier and left the Range.
For a while, he just walked, until he reached the pier. Boats had been a constant of Micah's life before coming to camp and when he was really out of it or off his rocker, the son of Charon liked to settle at the camp pier and imagine what sort of sea vessel he'd design for himself. Aesthetics might not have mattered to everyone but to Micah, they did. The ship would have to look as good as it sailed.
Now, he fell onto his back in the sand a few meters from the pier and stared up at the sky. Barely any clouds. Gods that was boring.
(Credit to u/FireyRage for the amazing intro format.)

Whats up my dudes, we are back at it with another chapter for you all. We are getting the swing of things and have another chapter or two to start the main plot fully, we are just getting to know our leads for now. I hope you enjoy
Lets get this bread
-----
The movement from the nightclub to Stitch’s clinic was grueling. Typically lugging a passed-out HVI or some other sod halfway across the city's district would not be a challenge. With his cybernetics, Conor was in decent enough shape and could sprint ten kilometers in full battle rattle without breaking a sweat, but Conor had pushed himself and didn’t need to wax a few Voodal in his way.
Conor had heard that Kurlatra were dense, but his assumptions about how heavy they were came nowhere close to the reality of picking one up.
Whatever this woman's name was, she likely weighed north of eighty kilograms. It was a shock because she was a meter and a half tall at most. For Urka’s sake, Conor only weighed one hundred and fifty kilograms despite being two meters tall and filled to the brim with wires.
He thought a bit about the woman's build and realized why she must weigh so much. She had hips and legs that could crush a man's skull. Along with a pair of tits just big enough that they would overflow from your hands.
Conner was made all the more well aware of those traits as he adjusted her to ensure he would not drop the little lass. Her fatty chest and plump thighs would try to swallow his hip each time he did. No sentient this small had any right being heavier than his entire breacher kit, explosives, anti-rifle armor, and all.
If not for Brakul expecting this rosey scag to be delivered to Stitch’s place, Conor would have lugged her to his safe house, which was far closer. But no, he had another job and order to follow.
The only shining light on this impromptu extraction was that the Voodal did not follow him. He had been worried about that last ganger he had shot; they had only eaten one round through the midchest. At the time, it looked like it might not have been a heart shot, and since he was picking this bimbo up at the time, he did not have a chance to ensure they were put down permanently.
Conor took a deep breath as he rounded the corner into a dirty alleyway, leaving the bustling thoroughfare behind. Thankfully, the residents of Heavalun knew better than to mess with him or anyone else who regularly did mercenary work, especially when they were carrying a body—alive or not.
Those who stopped his type tended not to live long, so he was ignored other than a few passing glances.
After traveling a few meters into the alleyway, Conor stopped and tucked behind a dumpster. His feet squelched in a puddle of rank trash water leaking from the impromptu cover. While Conor was reasonably sure no one had followed him, a quick double-check was always good for his skin.
Conor did not want to bring trouble to Stitch’s place. He did not have the slightest idea where he would find another techy who could synthesize the cocktail of stimulants Stitch made to keep his broken body held together. Pissing the tech head off was not high on his priority list.
Over the next ten minutes, the only thing his thermal vision picked up between him and the main road was a few Zlit rats scurrying atop discarded food. Their fleshy tendrils groped the garbage and pulled it into maws of razor-sharp teeth.
The sight of them sent a shiver down his spine. Those foul little mammals were high on his list of hated creatures, having been bitten by them more than once since he was a kid slinking around the gutters of Heavalun.
Pushing those memories away, Conor traveled deeper and rounded a blind corner. The sounds of the crowd's chatter entirely vanished as he entered the backstreet where Stitch’s clinic was nestled.
The rest of the journey was only a few hundred meters and only required Conor to sidestep some used needles and shit; He also had to kick one homeless bum who tried to grab the girl out of the cover of his jacket. Usually, he would have just shot the piece of hreck shit, but with his hands full, a swift boot to the jaw got the message across.
With the bum limping away, broken jaw clutched in pain, Conor hammered on the metal door; its frame and the neon sign to its side quivered under his brute strength. Then began the worst part of dealing with Stitch, waiting for the asshole to open the door.
Conor waited until ten minutes had passed and received no answer. Then he punched the door harder, his metal hand denting the surface. Several seconds later, a heavily synthesized voice echoed out of the speakers hidden around the area—speakers that Conor had never been able to locate, no matter how fervently he tried.
“What do you want, Conor?” Stitch questioned. “Did you break more of your wiring?”
Conor sighed heavily, knowing Stitch had this entire block wired with multispectrum cameras and could see him a kilometer out. If this were a visit for his wiring, Stitch would know. The man was just being paranoid and wanted Conor to state his business.
“I got a girl I need you to check up on,” Conor said, pushing his jacket slightly open and letting the girl's ref scales shine.
“What another hooker pass out on a bad trip?” Stitch chuckled cruelly. “This is the fourth this month; you are getting soft merc.”
Rolling his eyes, Conor could admit he was softer than most of the other mercenaries and gangsters in the city's neutral sections. Having seen his fair share of how bad this city can be, Conor did his best not to fuck over those who were just down on bad times and were not trying to cause him issues.
Life was arduous enough for them. So he gave back by lugging hookers and junkies to the nearest tech head and paying for their treatment or the closest Zential clinic. The Zentials were more than willing to treat the downtrodden for free, unlike the other medical services in Heavalun—stitch included.
He considered it his way of giving back and maybe finding Urka's good grace. Perhaps the god might forgive him for being a general piece of hreck shit if he continued to until he did. But he would not know until he finally kicked the bucket.
His intervention was a drop of clean water in the ocean of venom in this city. The other locals were more than willing to pick those he aided clean in minutes. They might as well be a swarm of bealit beatles eating carrion with how ravenous they were.
“It ain’t that. Just open the damn door,” Conor growled, punching the door again.
“Hold on, you greased-up cyborg,” Stitch frantically complained, worried that Conor would break his door again.
Conor smirked, glad the strange form of tolerance he and Stitch had built over the years was still strong. At this point, it was their modus operandi. Neither hated the other; no, they respected one another's role in this shithole.
Both toles put them in harm's way and brought them respect and infamy.
However, Conor found the way the denizens of Heavalun treated them funny. If you asked the average COS or GU citizen, who was more brutal: a mercenary with a pension for hyper-violence and little regard for collateral damage—-or a skeletal Itelv doctor who regularly performs life-saving surgery? They would choose Conor ten out of ten times. They did not know Stitch like Conor, Brakul, or most of the people in this city section.
They would tell you the truth of the good doctor.
They would weave you a tale of a greedy, crit-pinching asshole and that Stitch was the type of man who would stitch up for pay but would just as quickly harvest your organs for sale, or Urka forbid he would stick some experimental tech inside you and wait for your inevitable death to retrieve his property.
The door at long last opened with a vile hiss, and a gangly grey-skinned hand forced it open.
Stitch was just about as tall as Conor. But his thin grey limbs made him look one stiff breeze away from taking flight, with only his heavy artificial spider-like legs keeping him firmly on the planet.
Draped over his pencil-thin neck was a once-white apron. After years of use, it was stained with blood, oil, and hydraulic fluid.
“If she ain't one of your precious hookers, put her on the table. I will get my tool ready,” Stitch hissed, jamming his thumb over a shoulder.
“I ain’t selling this one to you either. Girlie got tagged by visage, and I need yah to treat her,” Conor replied, pushing past and laying the blonde on the recovery bed.
“You said she ain’t some hooker,” Stitch complained following, having gotten tired of Conor no longer bringing him fresh meat to sell.
Once Conor turned around and was about to explain the situation, Stitch pressed a bony finger into Conor's chest. “I told you, I'm selling the next one. She is it,”
“Can it doc. She is a client,” Conor replied. “Or are you going to explain to Brakul why you cut her up?”
Stitch clicked his tongue but did not try to move closer. His glassy, verdant eyes pulled Conor and the girl apart as he weighed the pros and cons of allying with Conor and Brakul another time.
“What is in it for me?” Stitch questioned, tapping a finger on a scalpel attached to his tool belt.
Conor sighed, realizing he should have expected this question, but he was not the broker of deals. That was Brakul’s schtick, and he was running late.
“You can take her jewelry and any credsticks you find on her. Alright?” Conor replied, knowing Brakul likely would have made a similar deal.
Stitch nodded and slinked closer to the woman. He lifted the necklace from her chest and carefully examined the jewels with a prudish eye any good businessman should have. After Stitch activated his magnified eyes, his cornea glowed gold, letting him see the atoms of the shiny trinket.
The doctor grinned cruelly, letting his crystalline teeth show proudly. The sight was unsettling and made Conor grip his pistol, fearing the doctor would flip his shit and decide it was not enough payment and try to cut the girl up.
But he did not start to slice her skin open. Instead, he sniggered nearly uncontrollably for a few moments, then spoke. “Yes, yes, yes. This will do just fine,” He sneered.
Conor was unsure what the jewels were, but they must be worth far more than he initially thought. For Urka's sake, Stitch was drooling on the necklace and the passed-out girl's chest.
“Good. So you will take care of her?” Conor questioned, needing to hear an assured answer.
Quickly slipping the jewelry into his pocket, Stitch looked back at Conor, his demeanor having done a complete one-eighty. “Of course, I always have room for paying customers.”
“Oh sweet, Conor, you handled the deal,” Brakul said, having just stepped in through the doors.
Why Brakul was allowed unfettered access to Stitch’s clinic and Conor was not something Conor had wondered for years but had accepted it as something to do with their role in the duo.
“Yeah, and he will watch the client. But we had yet to lay out the finer details,” Conor explained.
“Ah, no issue, I can take it from here,” Brakul replied.
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so what did you think? a decent chapter or total trash? either way I wanna know. I will see you all in the comments. please don't forget to comment and updoot.
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-Pirate
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PART 1:

 Every town has their own version of “The Boogeyman”. A monster, cryptid, phantom, whatever you want to call it, it’s all essentially the same thing- just a scary story they tell kids in an attempt to get them to behave. An urban legend is just a life lesson disguised as a horror story after all. For us folk living up in the tiny and once prosperous gold-mining town of Trillium, ours was known simply as The Locust Man. Now, let me start by saying, I realize how ridiculous that name must sound to you. “The Locust Man”?? Pftt…What’s he do, besides get stuck in the grill of someone’s pick-up truck. Destroy some crops? Oooh, he sounds real scary... yeah, I know. But yet, as I sit here today 20 years after the fact - a grown woman who’s wiser, stronger, and even more grounded in reality than she was at 12, I still hesitate to even write down that name. 

As a young child I had always thought it to be a little weird that our town was called Trillium, considering I had never seen a single one growing there. If you don’t know, a trillium is a small flower, usually white but they come in other color varieties as well, with three pedals and a bright yellow center. They sort of look like if you took a lily and tore off every other pedal playing “He loves me, he loves me not”. In school, about 2nd grade or so, we were taught everything about this elusive flower I’d never seen in real life, and told how proud our town was to be named after it. Trillium, Colorado was established in 1922 - A new town born in the wake of a great tragedy which befell the town that had previously sat in the same location. For us, and those that came before us, the trillium was supposed to be a symbol of hope. Knowing all that I know now, that sentiment almost makes me want to laugh - in a morbid way.

 Growing up in a small, mostly isolated town, there really wasn’t much for a kid to do. You’d have to drive 45 minutes to get to the closest mall and movie theater. The high school kids would usually all hang out at the roller rink downtown or at the old run-down burger joint called Slim’s that sat across it. But at that age, I wasn’t allowed to go hang out there by myself yet and for me, going with my parents tagging along wasn’t an option I was open to. My neighborhood was on a long dead end road leading up to a large patch of woods that separated the main part of town from the abandoned mine. The old trail the miners used was still accessible up until a point, and so me and the other kids from my street would hang out in those woods all the time. We had a “secret spot” which was, what we thought at the time, about half way through the woods, 10 steps away from a small shallow creek that pretty much ran the length of the area. Rain Creek, we called it. There was a small clearing there, and we had created our own little clubhouse using old milk crates as supports, half- broken wooden pallets as walls, along with some old lawn chairs one of the neighbors was throwing out one day. I made my contribution by bringing a tarp we had in our basement that served as the roof of our establishment. Our parents didn’t love the idea of five 10 to 12 year olds running around in the woods by ourselves, but as long as we stayed within earshot and made it back before the streetlights came on, they probably figured it was safer than us being across town galavanting unsupervised. 

It was me, Lacey, Devin, Mikey and Michelle. We were all best friends - pretty much inseparable, except the boys weren’t invited to the girls’ sleepovers and vise versa. Everyday after school, we’d get dropped off by the bus at the very beginning of our road, and it was a running joke between the Rain Street Gang (as we liked to call ourselves) for all of us to try and run off the bus as quickly as possible, while me, Lacey and Devin would all yell in unison ‘Last two home are some rotten eggs!!’, as Mikey and Michelle tried to push past us to get a head start. The aforementioned two were siblings, and lived in the very last house on our row right next to the woods, so they’d always get home last, regardless of their efforts. Although, the year that Mikey got a pair of Heelys for Christmas he finally got his edge over the rest of us, leaving Michelle to be the lone “rotten egg” until the next summer when one of his wheels broke off. The whole point of it all was just to get home and get our chores and homework done as fast as possible, so we could meet up at Mikey and Michelle’s house with enough daylight left to make our trek into the woods and back - together as a group. All five of us had made a pact to never visit the clubhouse without all members present, although us girls always had a sneaking suspicion that the boys thought themselves exempt from that rule. They, after all, were the ones that had discovered the spot in the first place, and not to mention, did most of the physical labor of dragging our provisions out there. Me and Lacey initially only heard about the spot a day after the boys found it; Michelle had walked into Mikey’s room in the middle of him and Devin talking about it, and immediately relayed the message to us. Michelle wasn’t necessarily more loyal to the girls than the boys, she was just the youngest among us and honestly couldn’t resist blurting out any mildly relevant information she thought she might have, in an effort to be included. But in that regard, if the boys had ever gone out there on their own, they would’ve had to be extremely sneaky about it, because Michelle’s number one objective in life was to gather any piece of intel she could. It was a seemingly normal Saturday morning when we learned our suspicions about the boys may have been warranted.
I had slept over at Lacey’s house the night before. We had just woken up and were still sitting on her bed discussing our possible plans for the day, when Michelle busted through the door with a look on her face that immediately told us she had finally gotten a hold of some juicy information, before she could even open her mouth to stutter out, “You-you-you guyssss, guess w-w-what!?!” Lacey gestured the nail file that was in her hand toward her, raising her eyebrows bluntly as Michelle tried to catch her breath. “So… Devin came to sleep over last night, annnnnd I was pretending to go to the bathroom so I could spy on them. Seeeeee, I was supposed to be sleeping but I -“ “Ughh come on Michelle, get to it! What’d you hear?” Lacey snapped “Ughh okay okay. So, I heard the boys talking, anddddd…. they’re planning to go explore the old mine today!!” “Alright Michelle! Good spying!” I chuckled, trying to encourage her after Lacey’s impatience. Lacey rolls her eyes, then immediately stands up. She takes the scrunchie off her wrist, ties her long blonde hair into a messy bun, and simply said, “Let’s go.” “Lacey..” I said “What??” She responds as if she hadn’t registered the tone of my voice at all. As I opened my mouth to begin explaining all the logical and practical reasons why even if the boys were stupid enough to go play around somewhere dangerous, we shouldn’t be, Michelle exclaims, “That’s where the Locust Man lives!!” I close my mouth in defeat, as I know Lacey will take this nonsense as a challenge, and because of that, no amount of my warnings concerning actual dangers would have any effect on her decision. Lacey dismisses her comment as she attempts to shove her foot into one of her new pink sneakers that she refuses to admit are too small for her. “Pshhh, don’t be such a baby Michelle, he’s not real, you do know that right?” Michelle crinkled her face and yelled back, “Yes he is Lacey! He is!! And th-th- that’s where he lives, and he eats kids that go there!” Lacey laughs at her and says “Oh yeah? You still believe in Santa clause too? What about the tooth fairy?” Michelle looked down at her shoes, and although she could admittedly be annoying, I found myself feeling bad for her. “Come on Lacey, she’s just scared.” Lacey shot me a look like she was expecting me to burst into laughter, but I just gave her a smirk and a shrug, and she rolled her eyes and said “Get dressed.”

 We walked in silence toward the end of the road, though the reasons for all three differed drastically. Lacey’s was determination and resolve, mine was comtemptousness and defeat, and Michelle’s was just fear. I found myself half-way hoping the boys had left already, but as we approached the driveway we caught them just as they were about to step off the porch. 

“Hey!!” Lacey yelled, in her trademark cheerleader cadence. “Where do you boys think you’re going without us?”. Mikey let a groan and rolled his eyes, while Devin said through a coy smile, “Well, we were actually just heading out to go to find you girls.” “Liar.” Lacey snapped, quickly wiping the grin off Devin’s face. “Michelle already blabbed- we know where you two are going and we’re coming too.” The boys looked at each other, then Mikey shot Michelle an angry look as she tried to shrink herself behind me, and said, “Fine, whatever, but no cry baby snitches allowed!!” Michelle then proceeded to prove both of his accusations correct by yelling back, “I am not a cry baby!! I’m telling mom if you don’t let me come with you!!” At that point I finally spoke up. “Alright, listen.” I said sternly, then once I had their attention I lowered my voice a bit to say, “Just for the record, I think us going to that grody old mine is a dumb idea and a big waste of time, but if one of us goes, we all go. That’s the deal, so make your decisions.” Lacey folded her arms in solidarity beside me, and with that we all had an unspoken understanding. So, with the boys out ahead leading the way, we headed toward the tree line.

 As we entered the woods, I felt a sense of dread wash over me - but to be fair, as a preteen emo kid who had already reached an adult level of cynicism, I felt a certain level of dread towards almost everything in life. So take my premonition with a grain of salt, but for some reason, this felt… different. I remember the woods being abnormally quiet that day. It took some time for me to even notice, but as soon as I did, I interrupted the mindless chatter going on to say, 

“Where are all the freakin’ birds?” Everyone turned to look at me as if I’d completely lost my mind. “Uhhh… What are you talking about?” Devin asked me. I pointed up toward the treetops. “Listen…. ” They all looked up, then looked around at each other in confusion. “Every time we’ve ever been in these woods, there’s always birds chirping back and forth. We’ve been walking almost 5 minutes now and I haven’t heard a single bird, have you guys?” “Damn, yeah, that is weird.” Mikey agreed. “They probably all just migrated!!” Devin goofily offered. “That’s stupid Devin, it’s spring. If anything, there should be more birds here, not less you moron.” Lacie argued. Devin flipped Lacie off, which was the best rebuttal he could usually come up with, and then turned toward me and said, “Okay whatever, what’s your point exactly?” “Just that - “ I looked over to Mikey, then back at Devin. “It’s weird.” I didn’t want to say what I was actually thinking. That the woods being too quiet was never a good thing. That when birds aren’t chirping, it could mean there’s a predator nearby. Besides, I was pretty confident that the boys, having both been in the scouts, knew what I knew, so saying it out loud would only serve to annoy Lacie and further frighten Michelle. Mikey broke his gaze that had been fixed on me, and while scanning our surroundings he said, “Let’s stop by the clubhouse on the way.” With a nod from me, we continued. When we arrived at our pit stop, Lacey hobbled over to the closest lawn chair and plopped herself down in it. “Ughhh, my feet are killing me!!” “I wonder why.” I mutter under my breath. “Excuse me, what was that?” “Just saying. Those shoes are gonna be the death of you Lace, you can barely walk in them.” “Pshhh, shut up. They just need to be broken-in okay? You’re just jealous cuz you’re still wearing your dirty old Vans from last year.” “Oooh yeah, you got me there. I am so sad I don’t have a pair of ugly pink Sketchers that don’t fit me.” She stuck her tongue out at me and we both laughed. I was just about the only person who could go toe to toe with Lacey’s sass. It’s part of the reason we ended up being best friends, besides being neighbors. In regard to style, personality and interests, we were almost polar opposites. But when it came to humor we were equals. And more importantly, we both had a mutual understanding when it came to our differences- I was me and she was her, and neither of us felt the need to try and make the other one be more like us. Besides, I was the only person who had ever really stood up to Lacey and didn’t take any of her crap, so I think she respected that. While that exchange had been going on, Michelle had started picking tiny pink flowers, and the boys were rummaging in the clubhouse for something. I yelled in their direction, “Hey! Big Mike and Dirty D!!” Me and Lacey giggled and she mouthed the word “big” with air quotation marks. They didn’t respond, so I walked over to the entryway and looked in. They were standing with their backs to me while looking down at an open metal box, and Mikey was reaching to grab whatever was in it. As he stood back up, I could see what it was. “What the fuck Mikey, seriously?” Hearing me cuss, Lacey and Michelle crowded in behind me. “Chill, it’s just a BB gun.” “I know it’s a BB gun Michael, what are you doing with it, and why is it here?” I was livid at the thought that he might be coming out here and shooting at animals just to be a shithead. I expected something like that from a goober like Devin, but not Mikey. Michelle butted in, “I’m telling mom!!!” “Nice try, dad knows I have it.” He looked at me and softened his tone. “It’s for protection, just in case we come across a black bear, or some weirdo creep out here. Seriously… it’s just to scare off something, not hurt it.” He knew how I felt about killing animals, especially for no good reason. A lot of people out here are poor and hunt for food, which I could accept as a reality. But hurting animals just for fun is psycho behavior, so I was relieved to hear him dispel my fear; I really didn’t want to have to hate him. “Do you even know how to shoot that thing?” Lacey asked. “Yeah, my dad showed me.” Devin clapped his hands together, making us all jump and himself laugh. “Well alright then, let’s get going!” I turned to Michelle, still holding the flowers. “You okay?” She nodded. “If you want me to walk back with you, I can.” I was slightly hoping she’d say yes so I’d have an excuse to get out of this excursion, but she just shook her head and forced a smile. I knew she was scared, but she was just too curious. Maybe I was too.

 We walked for what felt like half an hour. The trees had gotten more dense and the path narrowed from the overgrowth. Still no birdsong. I kept scanning the area in search of any sign of life other than us. Looking for movement of creatures scurrying away, listening for the sound of rustling as we passed, hoping for a squirrel, a lizard, even a bug. Nothing. 

“How much further is this damn thing?” Lacey groaned. Mikey answered without even turning around. “We should be coming up on it any time now.” “You said that like 10 minutes ago.” “Yeah, and now we’re like 10 minutes closer to it. And hey guess what, you insisted on inviting yourself - so suck it up buttercup.” “Hahahaha!” Devin laughed like a maniac at Mikey’s quip, while Lacey folded her arms and for once in her life didn’t have a snappy comeback. This time however, I did. “Well we really only came along to make sure you idiots didn’t kill yourselves.” “Oh, so you girls came out here with us to be our protectors, huh?” Devin laughed. “Ehh, more like babysitters.” Needless to say, I was flipped off for that statement. We rounded the next bend and suddenly all came to an abrupt stop one after another, starting with Mikey. Devin positioned himself beside him and let out a disappointed groan. “Shit Mikey!” A huge tree had fallen and was blocking the trail completely. There was no way we could climb over it because of all the leaves and branches - we’d have to go around it, which meant leaving the safety of the trail and crossing Rain Creek twice to get back to it. “Seriously???” Lacey exclaimed. “Maybe it’s a sign that we shouldn’t be going.” I shrugged. Mikey didn’t seem fazed by the obstruction at all. In fact, he seemed more confident. More calm. More sure of his intended mission. “It’s fine, we’ll just go around.” Michelle, who had been mostly quiet this whole time, finally broke her fear induced silence. “We are NOT supposed to leave the tr-tr-trail Michael! We could get lost!” “We aren’t gonna get lost Michelle, I have a compass. Plus, it’s literally just a few paces that way, then we cross the creek and circle back once we pass the tree and we’re right back on the trail.” “Oh you have got to be kidding me” Lacey said, “I’m not treading through that nasty water!” “Yeah Mikey, what about Lacey’s brand new shoes??” I laughed, and she playfully slapped me in the arm. Mikey’s patience was wearing thin with us. “Look, we already walked this far - if we turn back now, we’ve wasted the whole day for nothing. If you girls wanna be lame and turn around, then go for it - but me and Dev are going.” That’s all Lacey needed. A challenge to accept; someone to prove wrong. “I’ll show you lame.” She pushed past the boys and lead the way into the thick brush towards Rain Creek. It wasn’t very wide across, and there were lots of fallen limbs and large rocks spread throughout it. The current was barely that of a trickle, and the depth was no more than knee deep for us. It was definitely doable - just an inconvenience. And of course, one more ominous obstacle lying directly in our path. Another hint from the universe telling us to turn around. We didn’t listen. Lacey placed one foot on the closest limb and pushed down a few times to test its sturdiness. “I got this.” She stepped out onto it with both feet, then shimmied sideways until she was close enough to the large exposed rock in the middle of the creek, and hopped onto it. She turned around with a full grin and said, “Coming?” Mikey made his way across the limb as Lacey hopped onto a different limb which led her to the other side of the creek. Devin followed, then me, and then it was Michelle’s turn. “I’m scared to fall in!” Of course she is, I should have made her go before me. “It’s okay Michelle, it’s easy!” I reassured her. She didn’t look convinced in the slightest. “Come on Chelle, we’re leaving you!” Mikey yelled, already walking away. “Nooo!! I’m coming! Wait!” She made it across, but instead of just walking like everyone else did, she got down on her hands and knees and gripped the limb as if it were the only thing in between her and a 50 foot drop to the ground, which was funny to see but prolonged the whole process further. After all, we were about to have to do all of this again. Next go round went a lot smoother. The creek was more shallow here, and there were a whole lot more stepping rocks and debris built up. Having just crossed successfully a few minutes ago, we were all more confident in our abilities, including Michelle - who this time we made go first. “Just walk across like it’s a bridge! You got this!!”, we all cheered for her, and then clapped when she made it to the other side. Before we knew it we were back on the trail, and it wasn’t long after that we finally arrived at our intended destination.

 We all stopped and stared at it for a minute, carefully examining the dilapidated exterior of the place that had brought both prosperity and destruction upon our town. Mikey bent down, picked up a rock and threw it into the entrance. We heard it bounce a few times before it stopped. 

“Just to make sure nothing’s in there.” he turned around to clarify. “Did anyone think to bring a flashlight?” I asked. “It’s dark as hell in there.” I was hoping for just one more reason not to go. Devin reached into his cargo shorts pocket and pulled out a small keychain-sized flashlight, smiling with the satisfaction of finally being useful. “Okay, Mikey’ll hold the gun, I’ll shine the light and you girls follow behind us. Let’s go.” Mikey shifted the BB gun from its position of resting on his shoulder, to holding the barrel in his left hand and the butt in his right; trying his best to emulate a soldier’s stance. Something his dad had taught him I’m sure. We ducked down a bit to enter. “How far in we going?” Lacey asked. “Until we see something cool.” Mikey answered. I turned around to check on Michelle, still hovering in the doorway. “You coming?” I could see in her eyes that fear had finally gotten the better of her, and curiosity had taken a backseat. With wide eyes she shook her head. “The-the Locust Man lives in there.”, she tried to whisper. “I knew you were gonna be a baby about this!” Mikey yelled. I crouched down and put my hand on her shoulder. Against my better judgment, I say “How bout you just wait here for us and pick some more flowers. We won’t be long, there’s nothing in there, I promise. Just.. don’t move from this spot and we’ll be right back, okay?” I could feel her unease, but she seemed to accept my reassurance nonetheless. “Okay.” I smiled, then stood up and looked down at my watch to check the time. 12:46 PM. I turned and headed into the darkness, trying to catch up with everyone else. I didn’t feel good about leaving Michelle, but I didn’t feel good about letting the rest of them go in there alone either. And if I’m being honest, maybe a little part of me wanted to see what was in there too. When I caught up to Lacey she asked, “Where’s Michelle?” “Stayed behind at the entrance, she was too scared. I told her to pick flowers and wait there for us.” “Pshh, figures.” “Yeah. How’s your feet?” “At this point, numb actually.” It was so dark in there that even Devin’s rinky dink flashlight was illuminating the area enough for me to start taking a closer look at my surroundings. I looked around at the rock walls, they were covered in what looked like orange mold and green algae. There was a slight breeze coming in from the entrance, but the whole place just had a staleness to it. The boys stopped and turned around as we arrived at the first curve. “So ladies, what do you think? Cool huh?” Devin asked excitedly. “Smells like a fart in here.” I said.

 The most dangerous thing about exploring an old mine wasn’t getting lost in the maze of tunnels, or tripping on the rusted tracks and slamming your head against the wall - it was something simply referred to as bad air. Pockets of still air that have dangerously low levels of oxygen, the old men in town would call it “black damp”. There was also something produced from the old chemicals they once used called “stink damp”, which smelled like rotten eggs. Both were lethal. 

“I wonder if there’s dead bodies in here!” “Uh, Dev… we’re gonna be the dead bodies in here if we go in too far. I wasn’t just making a joke, you know that rotten egg smell can mean bad air.” Mikey interjected. “The entrance isn’t far behind us, there’s still enough fresh air coming in. We won’t go in too far, let’s just get to the end of this tunnel where it splits off and look around a bit, then we’ll turn around.” The fork in the tunnel really wasn’t that much further, and even though I knew once we rounded this curve I wouldn’t be able to see the entrance behind me anymore, I decided what the hell. Maybe a hundred more steps, then we can finally turn around and this whole dumb situation would be closer to being over with. When we got there, we looked down the length of the connecting tunnels each way. Everything looked unusually identical in its deterioration. I could see how someone could easily get disoriented and lost down here. “Hellooooo…” Mikey yelled to the left, his voice echoing through the corridor. Devin turned to the opposite direction and called out, “Hey yo, Locust Man!! You in here?” We all giggled, which made me think about Michelle, still waiting at the entrance for us, alone in the woods. I looked down at my watch. 12:46 PM. “Hey what the f-“ My cuss word was interrupted by a loud bang that came from the passageway Devin had just been hollering into. We all froze. I didn’t have time to process that my watch had stopped right as we entered the tunnel, or that Michelle had been left alone for who knows how long now, or that we had just heard what sounded like a support beam crashing to the ground, because next came a horrifying screeching buzzing sound. It sounded distant at first, but was quickly increasing in volume. We silently looked around at each other and backed away stunned at what we were hearing. Mikey never took his eyes off the tunnel though, and slowly he began to raise the BB gun to firing position. Without even thinking, I grabbed the barrel and pushed it downward. He quickly tore his eyes away from his target to look at me. I shook my head and managed to barely choke out the word, “Explosion.” He nodded and I let go. I looked down at the gun in his hands, and seeing his finger had already been on the trigger, I realized how lucky it was that I didn’t make him shoot himself in the foot. All of a sudden, the noise stopped. “What the hell was that?” Lacey asked. “I don’t know, nothing good.” I said. “Let’s just get the fuck out of here before this whole place caves in on us or something.” Another loud bang erupted from the right, extremely close to us. “Shit!!!” We all turned around and ran as fast as we could back toward the entrance. Devin tried to push past me, but as he did my elbow knocked the flashlight out of his hand. “My flashlight!!!” “Leave it!” Mikey shouted “The turn is right here, we won’t need it!” We rounded the corner, and using what little light there was illuminating from the entrance to guide us back, we ran like our lives depended on it. And they may have- none of us dared to look back, not like we would have been able to see anything anyway. When we finally made it out, we were all completely out of breath. I felt like I was going to throw up. I have to admit though, once we had made it back to safety I felt a rush of adrenaline like I had just had a near death experience. That feeling quickly faded into sheer panic when I looked around and realized Michelle was nowhere to be seen. “Uh, where’s Michelle?” Mikey asked me. “I told her to stay right here, she can’t be very far… Michelle!!!!” We all called her name, as loud as we could. No answer, no sign of her anywhere. “Alright look, she probably went off a little further looking for flowers to pick.” I tried to rationalize. “Let’s just split off in 4 directions and walk in a straight line while calling for her. She’s bound to hear one of us.” Everyone agreed, and even though I appeared outwardly as the level-headed calm person you need to take control in an emergency, inside I was petrified that something had happened to her, and that it would be my fault. I took the east, and headed out. It didn’t take too long before I passed a large tree and saw her sitting down behind it, looking at something on the ground. “Michelle! Oh thank god!! Didn’t you hear us calling for you??” She didn’t answer me, or even turn around. “Michelle, didn’t I tell you to stay by the entrance and not move?!?” My relief was quickly turning into annoyance as she continued to ignore me. I walked up closer to see what she was looking at, and my mouth dropped in awe of what she had found. It was a single white trillium.

 They say it takes 8 years for a trillium plant to produce a flower, and conditions have to be just right for it to bloom. That’s what makes them so special and rare. I stared down at it almost in a trance, like I was seeing a mythical creature. Michelle slowly reached out her hand towards it and I snapped out of it. 

“No!!” I grabbed her by the arm and she finally turned around to look at me. “If you pick the flower, the plant will die.” She ripped her arm away from my grasp and whined, “But I want to show my mom!” We heard Mikey calling from the north and I cupped my hands over my mouth to yell back, “I found her, she’s over here!!” I looked back at her. “No Michelle, come on, you can just tell her about it when we get back home.” I had enough, I was beyond ready to go and we still had at least another 45 minutes of walking to even get back to the clubhouse; an hour if Michelle kept up her crap. I grabbed her arm again and pulled her up to a standing position, looking back at the trillium as I walked her away. Mikey caught up to us, breathless but trying to hide his concern. “You little shit, we should have left you out here! What the hell were you doing?” I let go of her arm and she walked toward Mikey. “She was trying to pick a flower over there.” “It was a trillium!!” Michelle said, with the biggest smile on her face. “Wait, really?” He looked at me in disbelief. Before I could respond, a blood curdling scream echoed through the forest, coming from the west. It was Lacey. My heart dropped into my stomach and once again, every molecule in my body went into full blown panic mode. This time, I couldn’t contain my composure. “Laceyyyyyy!!!!!” A panicked shriek erupted from my lungs and I took off running. Mikey grabbed Michelle and sprinted after us. The trees became a blur; I didn’t even feel all the scratches and scrapes. Had she come across a coyote? A mountain lion? A bear? I didn’t even stop to think about the danger I might be about to come in contact with, I just ran. And then I found her. She was lying on the ground, holding her left foot. “Lacey!!” I said, trying to choke back the tears that were building up. “I think I twisted my ankle!!” “Oh god damn it, you bitch.” I struggled to catch my breath. “I thought you were dead.” “I might as well be, I have cheerleading practice on Monday!” Mikey and Michelle caught up to us. “What happened?” He asked “She’s being a drama queen, she just rolled her ankle.” I was angry. “Can you get up?” He asked her. She was able to stand, but as soon as she tried to put any pressure on her foot at all, she screamed in pain. We spotted Devin running over from the south as he was yelling out, “Hey yo, everyone alive and accounted for?” “Yeah, Lacey hurt her ankle.” Mikey yelled back. As he approached he looked concerned. “Can you walk on it?” He asked her. “No.” Without hesitation he replied, “Well alright then, looks like you’re gonna have to piggyback it all the way back home.” He lowered himself enough to where she could hop up onto his back, and we headed back toward the trail. Even though my nerves had begun to settle a bit, I knew we were still far from being out of the woods, in more ways than one.

I (24f) am tired. I’ve never actively pursued dating due to other priorities and decided to last year. I’ve been online dating for a year now, and I’ve always approached dating with the intentions of building a deep connection with someone. I believe that in order to do that, you have to be comfortable with a level of vulnerability, openness and honesty. I don’t play games, as soon as I realise I’m incompatible with someone - I don’t ghost them, I text them to end it. If I like them, I tell them. I don’t follow the “three day rule” for texting, if you text me - I text back when I’m free - and that’s spans from a minute to 4hours, but usually within a day. I plan cute dates, I follow through. I think i’m somewhat attractive, I get hit on at work often (service industry), people are shocked when I’ve told them I’ve never had a boyfriend, when it’s for “short-term fun” I don’t really struggle to find someone for the night. But I don’t want that, I want to build something with someone. Personality-wise, I don’t think I lack in that department either - I have maintained a lot of deep friendships local and overseas (I moved around a lot). I don’t think it’s my intelligence either, and I certainly don’t think I’m boring. Perhaps it’s my career, I just graduated from biology and I’m not-well established in it right now, but aren’t you supposed to grow with someone?
I don’t know what it is, is it my approach ? i approach dating like I do with making friends, I like to think I’m warm and funny and “woke”. If I feel like having sex with them, I do. But I make that decision by date two or three - is that too soon? Do I make it too easy? Should I make them chase? I don’t get it, that sounds manipulative and so tiring. I keep hearing about these rules and games from both my female and male friends and everyone else in between, and I just don’t get it. Why can’t you act on what you truly feel? Like where’s the genuineness anymore? I don’t think I fit well into this era of online dating anymore. Maybe I should have started earlier in my age when people were less jaded. I think I give up now. I don’t think i have any strength left to continue being authentic and genuine when dating. I’m feeling pretty burned out. Perhaps I should just embrace being single forever and adopt a cat or two haha. ha.

I'm not 100% sure how to write this nor do I really want to. This is something that's been plaguing my relationship since it happened a while ago. I've been with my girlfriend (F22) long distance for a bit more than a year now. We've seen each other in person a few times now for a couple weeks at a time and it's gone great. She's my best friend, and I love her a lot. We do most things together and spend time together in call as often as we can, which is pretty often. We met via a mutual friend in a friend group on a discord server. From there I messaged her often as I was interested in becoming friends. Fast forward, I caught feelings and so did she. We talked everyday, until eventually she became my girlfriend. I know this is toxic, but there were plenty of times where she wanted to hang out with our mutual friend group and I chose to say I didn't really want that. I don't know why, but I guess I wanted to be alone with her more often than not to build our relationship.
Eventually, we had our first big argument. She has some pretty serious anger problems, so a lot of very nasty and harsh things were said from her. This included her tearing up a note I had written to send her, and threats to burn any of my clothes that she had. This all happened, and while it went down I had relied on two very close friends from that group to talk to. I sent them screenshots of the things she was saying and they both said it seemed like she was an abusive person and they urged me to leave. They both operated out of their care for me and I felt as if they were being genuine, so I didn't fight them on it. I think it was an ugly side of her, but I wouldn't consider her abusive. I think she's just very very emotional and her broken home causes her to react to sadness with anger and she can do some really intense things to hurt me in those moments. She always apologizes after the fact and I understand this.
Regardless, I never addressed this with her. I never let her know that two of my close friends thought she was abusive and I kept it hidden. I let her think everything was fine, as she wanted to be part of that friend group very badly. But coupled with that, and the fact I actively kept her from them, it never really went anywhere. Fast forward a couple of months to when she came to visit me where I lived. She stayed with me for around two weeks, and it went mostly well. She eventually stumbled upon those conversations, and she lost it. She was so hurt that I shared some of the moments she was so deeply ashamed of with them, and that I would let them call her abusive without even fighting them or saying otherwise. She was so hurt, she wanted to leave. In that moment, I'll be honest, I said what she wanted to hear. That I'd leave the friend group and block those two people. That was enough to allow us to rebuild our relationship and since then I wasn't in contact with those two. Since then, our relationship has been fine barring a few mishaps.
These mishaps have been me going back to that friend group. I miss them often, and I want to be in their server and hang out with them. This part is where I believe I'm in the wrong, on multiple occasions I've lied to her. I've told her I'm not talking to them, I've told her I don't even want to. But this wasn't true, I had been talking to them, I had missed them. These were my only real friends and without them I only really had her. She wanted to help me find new friends and none of it helped. I couldn't stop missing my old group of friends. I've lied so much to her that I feel like I'm just incapable of doing what she deserves. She has given me everything I could ask for. She would do anything for me, and is deeply in love with me. I love her a lot too, and I want to do anything that would make her happy. I'm pretty mentally ill and I can't handle this trauma well, I don't want to leave her but I don't know what to do.
She explains to me how much this hurts her, that she can't trust me. That choosing between a group of friends and a significant other shouldn't be this hard and I think she's right. She gives me everything I need but I also feel as if I want my friend group. I only want it so badly because I don't really have friends anywhere else, at least not like a group setting like this. I feel so terrible and like I'm constantly hurting her but I'm at the point where my friend (who owns the server all my friends hang around in) has told me this is the last time we're doing this. That I can't leave again or it'd be for good. I don't want to hurt her, I love her a lot. She doesn't deserve this lying. These people made her feel unwelcome, and uncared for. They didn't ever ask to hear her side, nor did they ever reach out to her to ever make sure she was okay. She doesn't want to associate with them, especially not through me. I've tried asking if we could compromise and I'd block the two she specifically has problems with but she doesn't trust that I could truly do that. Which she has the right to do, honestly. Those two were my closest of the group. I talked to them almost every day and I felt comfortable to go to them with anything. I feel like my inability to choose has both tarnished my relationship and my friendships. I'm so stuck in the middle that I'm breaking both sides. I feel like I'll end up with nothing at this rate, but even then my friends say I'll always have them and they've welcomed me back every time with open arms.
We've broken up again over this friend group and my constant lying about it, and I don't know what to do. I don't want to choose sides anymore, but if I don't deal with this I'll lose her. I need help. What should I do?

I don’t know what to do. I have tried absolutely everything.
So I’m a woman in my 30s who has a degree, a good enough job and all I do is work, come home, eat alone and loneliness is eating me up.
I have felt this way since I was 23 years old.
I don’t have a community of friends. I have around 3 fairly close people who were from different parts of my life (one an old job, one from high school, one from college) who I see now and then but there’s no intense, talk constantly, I can tell them anything kind of friendship, they are just people I can grab lunch with now and then months apart.
My dating life has been horrendous. I can’t even explain how bad. It makes me feel like I’m this disgusting rat. All 3 friends and family members plus random people I’ve known throughout my jobs and things have all commented on how strange it is that I don’t have a partner and how badly things go for me.
The people I have dated in my past have all treated me very similarly. As in, I’ve never had an amicable breakup that ended nicely. They’ve all left me feeling awful. Everyone has always been extremely blunt in telling me I’m basically not good enough. Some phrases I’ve heard were: “you make me feel like I want to get myself back” “I didn’t ever see a future with you and didn’t know why I didn’t tell you this before” “you’re boring” “I understand why your friends and family don’t bother with you” “I just don’t care about you” “
I don’t drink alcohol and all these people told me at the start it wasn’t a problem for them. But sooner or later they would comment on how nice it would be if I joined them for a wine out on the porch after work or be able to go to a cocktail bar. And they would pressure me into doing it despite my strong stance on just not enjoying it. It almost seemed like everyone I dated was a disguised alcoholic even though they weren’t because that was the topic of a lot of our arguments … even though I know they weren’t in their “normal life” but just with me alcohol seemed so important that I didn’t do it.
I always came away feeling awful. I have an array of hobbies and find myself interesting - care for animals, reading, hiking, nature, skiing, cycling, I draw, and also write stories - nobody was ever interested in reading any or caring.
Whenever I go out with friends their partners… care. It’s something I noticed a lot. They’d text or call and ask for updates. Even when I was in relationships this didn’t happen. I’ve never, EVER had a partner or boyfriend who cared about me. This is not normal and I’ve never felt loved.
Both of my parents aren’t here either and I have a weird relationship with my brother. He’s married with kids and we aren’t close. I’ve tried and again I feel “not enough”. He tells me he doesn’t WANT to go on vacations with me because I don’t drink and he likes to go to bars and sip wine at nice places and I’d just not be compatible with him on holiday. He therefore doesn’t ever ask to hang out with me in our own country.
I was only ever close with my mother and miss her so much it hurts. I don’t feel connected with anyone and feel my personality must be so awful that nobody wants me around.
I’ve travelled a lot and even lived in other countries and feel deflated. If I do something pretty cool or a nice achievement I can’t tell anyone. Sure, a couple of my friends might send a nice text but I have nobody to hug, kiss or hype me up. I come home to my empty apartment and just have my own thoughts.
Every date I go on recently is a reflection of my past. People just seem to be super interested in the start, as in.. I have no issues getting matches and getting a good conversation flowing, sometimes even up to three moths of dating but then it ends. The same patterns occur where they suddenly don’t want a serious thing and are gone.
I’m broken making these constant deep connections with strangers only to then feel like I never knew them at all.
Friends have told me in the past I am too nice and fall too hard and people can see this but I don’t get it.
I pour my heart and soul into connections I do make, am sweet and caring and it’s never enough for people. I’ve never ever felt anything was ever reciprocated.
Everyone around me has a marriage - a stable, grown adult marriage with house problems and real life stuff, kids or engagements, stuff like that. I want that so much. I want a person to share my life with. I am so tired of being alone and being on this age on apps and going through the same things feeling so unloved and unwanted.
I look around - and this is going to sound judgmental and I don’t mean to be. But I look around at others I knew from school and friends and things and even people who are either not very attractive or even people with horrific personalities (mean, screechy, drama central kind of people) have good loyal husbands and a fairly decent enough life.
I feel like I’ve witnessed multiple situations where people cheat, so awful things and still someone is FIGHTING for someone to stay, fighting for love, somebody is a staple in their life worth it.
For me that’s just exactly what I feel I don’t have. Nobody has ever fought for me. Never cared enough to even go into a serious, let’s live together, maybe get married situations. Nobody has ever made effort the way I do. I’m good looking enough, not the most sexy person in the room but get told I’m natural beauty, cute and stuff like that. I try and take care of myself. I have that “sweet shy gentle” type personality and everyone I meet tells me I have such a good heart and soul. I really do everything for people. So I don’t understand.
I’m terrified of this continuing and I’m exhausted. I don’t feel like I belong anywhere. I’m absolutely broken with feeling like my whole life has been loss around me, in terms of death of my loved ones and also loss of people I’ve cared for and wanted something with, loss of friendships that were once more solid and now are casual, just loss of everything.
Like I said I’ve tried travelling, lived in other countries, joined so many hobby groups and clubs, the amount of nights I’ve sat at a random meet up of a social night with a soft drink and chatted and gave it my all for nothing to come of it is hard to remember, I’ve even reached out on social media to old friends from random hobbies and school and nothing comes of anything.
I don’t know what else to do. I enjoy my own company but I’m now at a point where it’s depressing me so much. I don’t want this to be my life. I want to go to theme parks with someone and feel alive. I want to book holidays with someone and get excited. I want to pack together and prepare their bags. I want to ask someone about their day. I want to share plans. I don’t want to just come home anymore and stare at a wall. Constantly see people thriving on social media. Have no family at important holidays. Nobody to celebrate things, I feel so empty and not even a part of society when I see the beach packed with people, gifts for sale in stores, etc. it’s not for me because I have no one.
I don’t know what else to do. If something cool happens in my day it didn’t really happen because I am literally by myself and have nobody who cares. I feel like other single people still have close friends or a mother or father who is interested, even a community of some sort. But I am literally alone.
Even when I do stuff with friends it’s only for an hour or two and I’ll get a taste of what a nice happy life is like, maybe an hour walking along a nice beach or a nice dinner somewhere with people around us then I’m back to being alone when they go back home to their husbands and have a cute night.
I cry everyday and don’t understand this. I’m so envious of people who have tons of people in their life. I never will have that even if I find a partner. But it just kills that even that part doesn’t exist. I can’t even explain how empty I feel. My birthday went by with one text message from one of my close friends and the other two sent one days later saying they forgot and had been busy. It’s like I don’t exist. And I’m terrified and don’t know what to do.

Hi! My name is Courtney and it's a pleasure to meet you! I've posted last night, but decided to post again this morning for some new friendships! I am 23 from the South, I have two babies! They are 12 months and 21 months old and they are my everything! On my free time, I enjoy writing, reading, talking to people, riding around, and doing anything with art! Also, I do love voice calling, video chatting and sending voice notes.
I do hope someone wants to be a very good friend to me, I need some good positive people in my life.