Hitters of the Week (8) (5/13-5/19)
1 - Jake Meyers (25 PA, Min 15 PA, 9 Qualified)

• Spoiler alert, 2 Outfielders and one corner infielder made this an extremely easy week. Surprisingly (or unsurprisingly if you’ve been watching games this week), Jake Meyers comes in first. Of 10 non-luck categories (WPA, WPA/LI ,BA, xBA, xSLG, xISO, wOBA, xwOBA, BRV, BRV/100), Meyers was at or above the 90th Percentile in 9 of them (only one he wasn’t was xISO, 83rd Percentile). 8 of those 10 are at least in the 95th Percentile. The highlight of his week by WPA was a 2-Run Homer in the Bottom of the 2nd on Friday, giving the Astros a 1 Run lead as well as a 20% WPA swing.

2 - Kyle Tucker (30 PA, Min 15 PA, 9 Qualified)

• Tucker, our 2nd Outfielder, contributed to this easy week. Tucker, with 6 stats in the 90th Percentile, finishing in the 98th Percentile in WPA/LI, wOBA and Batter Run Value. A highlight for him would be the insurance Homer on Sunday to turn a 2-Run Game to a 5-Run Game. He went 2-4 with 3 Walks in PAs with at least a Leverage Index of 1 (1 = Average LI for a PA). This week continued Tucker’s Monster 1st Half, ending him at 1st in the AL in many batting categories, most notably wRC+ (192) and fWAR (3.0)

3 - Alex Bregman (29 PA, Min 15 PA, 9 Qualified)

• Bregman, that infielder I was referring to. While his stats relative to the rest of the league during last week weren’t as impressive as Meyers’ and Tucker’s, they are still great. 3 Categories >= 90th Percentile; WPA/LI, wOBA, and Batter Run Value. His 3 Homers to begin the week are his 3 plays of greatest impact by WPA. Though there isn’t much to highlight on his season stats, there could be a lot ot highlight if he keeps this up.

Pitchers of the Week (8) (5/13-5/19)
Starters
1 - Framber Valdez

• Continuing the trend of easy choices, my selections for Starters of the Week have also been made easy. First is Framber Valdez, who put up a 79 GameScore on Wednesday the 15th, in 7.0 Innings of Shutout Ball. Framber let only 4 men on while giving the Astros 35.1% in WPA during the team win that day.

2 - Cristian Javier

• My 2nd Starting Pitcher, Cristian Javier started Thursday vs. Oakland, pitching a similar line to Framber; 6.0 IP, 0 R, 3 allowed on base, and a 75 GameScore. His K total of 8 is also the same total Framber put up. The Astros did win behind his 18.3% WPA, 8-1.

Relievers
1 - Josh Hader

• Entering in 2 Games (14th, 17th) with no lead greater than 1, Hader did his job in 3 total innings. Hader struck out 4, while letting only 1 man on via a Walk. Closing out one game, and giving the Astros a chance to walk it off was worth 61.7% in WPA. He has not allowed an ER in his last 4 appearances.

2 - Rafael Montero

• Abreu was in consideration, though letting 3 Inherited Runners Pass the Plate Sunday put him out of consideration. So that leaves Montero, coming in to 3 Games with a 1 Run Lead and exiting all 3 with a 1 Run Lead. All that was worth 25.8% of WPA. Montero finished the week with 0 R, 3 Hits, 0 Walks, and 5 Strikeouts.

Day one Pixel 8 Pro owner here. Thought I’d share my experience, after over 8 months of ownership.
P8P Bay 256GB has been my daily driver since its release. I use it with 5G on, screen at full resolution, dynamic "smooth display" refresh rate is on, no bluetooth or tethering. Brightness left on auto.
TLDR :
Positives = camera quality, great design, OS (with some caveats), great screen (some caveats too)
Negatives = everything else
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Camera : beautiful imagery has always been the signature of the Pixel line, and this release is no exception. Every shot has this mesmerizing "Pixel touch", and the new ultrawide sensor is finally on par with the main unit. Videos are world class too, not quite on the level of the iPhone but we'll get there eventually.
Beautiful and unique design : It's sitting in a clear case, and in a sea of generic, boring slabs, it really stands out and doesn't go unnoticed. People often ask me what kind of phone it is, most are still not aware that Google is making smartphones and has been doing so for almost a decade now.
Very long software support : Seven years of updates is unrivaled in the Android scene, albeit with the following you’ll understand no one would willingly keep this phone seven years, so it’s not really a positive.
Sleek OS : Android in its purest, cleanest form. Customization galore. However as I'll mention later this pure android is NOT running smoothly, so I don't know if this count as a positive.
Gorgeous OLED panel : A truly beautiful display, high-resolution, good brightness..unfortunately plagued by mutiple lags and frame drops in the UI, I'll get back to that. Now onto the negatives.
First off, we must address the elephant in the room. Battery life. This phone charges PAINFULLY slow and discharges EXTREMELY fast. The opposite of what you want, right ?
The 10 minutes top ups to 50% is a concept Google seemingly never heard of. You want half a charge ? Better sit & wait half an hour. Full charge ? Go watch a movie. Now the discharge, and this is where the real drama clocks in. This phone EATS battery, ON IDLE.
On your average 9 to 5 workday (no camera, no games, just basic apps) you’ll head home with 15% tops. Phone dead by 7pm, then full charge will eat 90 minutes off your schedule, better not be in a hurry.
Now try to make a bit of power usage out of your power user phone : A bit of pictures for work at 10am, a short 4K video at 1pm, a bit of Fallout Shelter on the toilet at 2pm. You’re now looking at a 4pm shutdown.
But let’s go real on the camera, after all this is a camera flagship and it should be your reliable companion on a field day. Starting at 10 am : pictures, videos, a bit of editing, about 40 pictures taken and 3 videos of 10 minutes each. Shutdown at 1PM.
The CPU just eats battery on IDLE doing NOTHING. Throw anything heavy at it and you’ll head home with a dead phone, one that died long before your day was over. Simple as that.
Keep in mind that this is my experience with a 8-months-old device, and it will get worse and worse as the battery cell degrades over time. One can only wonder how many cell replacements this phone will need to get to the end of its famed software support.
Now we need to talk UI and animations because this isn’t good either. Stellar 120hz OLED panel and stock android should be a recipe for smoothness, but not here. Actually, some animations including the cool lock screen clock are barely 60hz. Switching apps isn’t 120hz either, nor is scrolling. A TON of lags and various frame drops, resulting in a framerate like 40-90hz, never stable, with the occasional but very rare peak at 120. This isn't TW3 gameplay on a potato but simply browing menus and scrolling instagram on a 2023, 1159€ flagship phone from Google.
This phone FEELS slow, and yet consume an enormous amount of power to do so. Infuriating.
One day I had to handle a coworker’s A54 to tweak a few things. I was SHOCKED by the smoothness, this was indeed true 120hz, which only happens a few times a day on Pixel 8 Pro. I realized what I was missing on by handling an Exynos mid-ranger. I understand the need for a dynamic framerate, not locked at 120hz all the time to save battery. But only reaching 120hz 5 times a day and still having a mediocre battery life wasn’t what I had in mind.
Finally, the optical, under-display fingerprint scanner. This, my friends, is an antique piece of hardware that belongs to a museum. Remember the Huawei Mate RS from 2018 ? One of the first phones with UDFS. The optical technology was so experimental and unreliable (still is, most OEMs moved on to ultrasonic) that Huawei also included another optical fingerprint sensor on the back of the device, just in case. Well, this ancient tech is what you have on the Pixel 8 Pro, and no optical sensor backup in sight.
Sometimes, it can take up to 2 full seconds of contact to….successfully fail to unlock. After it fails 3 times or so, it will ask you to enter your password, making one-hand unlocks a luck job. Sometimes it will successfully unlock after a couple tries, but a couple tries of 2 seconds each makes unlocking your phone a 4 seconds job which is just painfully slow. The occasional one tap magic is as rare as the occasional 120hz peak in the UI. As for face-unlock, I know it's there but I disabled it because it doesn't work in the dark (no IR sensor) and I simply want to unlock my phone at waist height, without having to raise it to my face.
Pixel 8 Pro remembers me of an exotic sports car that might look incredibly cool from a distance but is actually a pain to live with on a daily basis. And indeed it does look incredibly cool. I remember seeing this phone as a much better pick than the generic Galaxy and the boring iPhone, but I’d rather go boring or generic than having to handle this mess of an hardware Google sold me for 1159€.
TLDR : Positives = Camera quality, great design Negatives = everything else

Here's the situation:

• I practice 1-2 times a week, for 1-2 hours of effective time every practice
• 1 of those practices is slower tempo (60-80BPM) and the other mid-high-tempo (140-180BPM)
• I only use heel up, and use ankle technique above 16th notes at ~140BPM

The problem in this equation is endurance. After even 10-15 seconds playing at 180BPM tempo my tibialis anterior is absolutely on fire, which means I'm not able to keep up at all, and this is a problem that is actively hampering my ability to play some songs.
I'm trying to figure out whether my ankle technique is bad, or I'm simply not putting in enough practice time. On that note I've got 2 main questions:

1. Is it normal for the tibialis to hold you back? Shouldn't my calf be on fire instead? Because I don't ever feel my calf getting weak.
2. How do you guys approach playing fast bass drum? Do you let the beater's rebound 100% take care of lifting the ball of your foot, or does it feel like you're doing most of the lifting yourself?

It's also worth noting that I tried hitting these muscles at the gym, training the calf did nothing (it just never feels tired when drumming, as mentioned before) and training the tibialis actually made it worse since the recovery time for that muscle seems hella long.
One thing that could be correlated is that I get the same pain when I walk fast. Ditto when driving with a somewhat sensitive accelerator pedal, my tibialis gets tired.
Any thoughts?

At school, When i was playing with my friends and classmates over ball attack and catch when out. I ran when my classmate threw a ball on me but it ended up hitting my left eye. however i survived the level of impact considering they are 15 to 17 year old, then the ball in little close range threw me at 65 to 72 mph(dunno) or higher. My left eye got some blunt trauma in my left eye. Thanks to my strong bone and strong immune system protected me and reduced the level of impact. I feel a bit of pain after a few hours with medicine the doctor examined me. Wish me luck Guys!

Had severe right hip pain, now living completely without any kind of pain, all I did was the bob cooley class video on youtube

Had severe right hip pain, now living completely without any kind of pain, all I did was the bob cooley class video on youtube

TL;DR - selfish asshole of an older brother scams me and my parents out of $200.
Okay, so I’m not doing too well financially, but I live with my Mom and Pops so we try to make ends meet. A couple weeks back we were in such rough shape financially, that I had to juggle three day jobs just to cover rent and suppress the collector’s from knocking on the door regarding our collective debts. We so broke I literally can’t even afford to sleep because in the night=I can get freelance work done. “I can sleep when I’m dead,” has become my full-time motto (unfortunately). Anyways, to try to bring some income in my household I offer services as a freelance video editor.
A while back, my older brother (who’s a career criminal and has flee’d multiple countries when authorities were after him for violent offences) hit me up and asked if I’d be down to edit for him. I was hesitant at first, being as last time I heard from him was after he beat our Mum to a pulp when I was only 12. For context bro or sis, whoever you are that is reading this: if I was only three years older I wouldn’t have let that slide—I would have mobbed his ass right then and there, pinned him down and done him so fucking dirty… IDGAF if my 15 year old ass had gone to juvie for it, I would do anything for my mother, including take a life. But instead, all that’s been imprinted in my brain is how much of a bitch I was at 12–cowering under the dining table as he took multiple shots with a shoe, at our crying helpless mother on the ground.
Anyways it’s been a few years, I’m 24 now and he gave me a big sob story how he has changed. I bought it up like the good little sheeple I am… started editing for him under the guise that he’d pay me $200 per video: SCORE! That’s a lot of money!!!
I got to know his business (shady as fuck) and got to find out he now dreams of being a finance influencer (double shady) but alas, he’s my big bro and no matter what wrong-doing he’s doing, he convinced me that he was a good man. Ight, bet, I’ma edit for him and make some money for the fam! In between his ‘takes’ of videos he sends me, I piece together that his “wife” films the videos, and he’s still an extremely abusive person. He tries not to let it show on camera, but I’m really good with people, emotions and hidden trauma so I can feel the sickening ‘abuser-of-people’ energy SEEPING off of him, still, to this day. I feel sick to my stomach editing for him, but shit, he’s promised me $200 per video. Over the course of a few weeks I can see why he never told us about his wife, it seems he keeps her pent up somewhere in Georgia, Batumi, and forces her to do whatever he wants. He once referred to her as “his slave” which I originally thought was A JOKE, but now in the grand scheme of things… I don’t think it was a joke. I pray that authorities get to them before he does something to her, but idek where to begin to put a ‘concerned citizen tip’ in a foreign country.
Some context as to why I put up with all the red flags: Mom’s not working as she has to take care of the house and she’s also trying to make money online, any ways possible. She’s starting to sell her favourite clothes. It fucking breaks my heart that I can’t do shit about it… at 24 years old, with all the social media influencing and advertising, I feel like garbage that I can’t fully support my parents… at least not yet! Dad is constantly depressed because he’s almost 80 years old and can’t retire ‘cuz my parent’s are in too much debt.
Okay, anyways, three BIG videos done for him (by big, I mean I spent +8 hours on each vid) and brother’s paid me for ONE via PayPal… no worries, he keeps leading me on saying the money will come, the money will come. And PayPal says I got $200 coming my way from him! Uhh ight, bet? Mind you, I start PLANNING my life around this $200 notification because that’s a hot stack for me and my family!!! Takes PayPal about 20 days to actually let me use the money… ridiculous because we NEEDED it… but that’s okay, I work around the problems in life, much like we all have to.
Here comes the turning point: I’m a little overworked and a little coo-coo sometimes, and one night I start telling him personal shit, kinda pouring out my heart to him, venting almost. I don’t really remember about what, just life I guess, nothing negative towards him. Somehow he misconstrues it, gets upset with me, and ‘tells me off.’ I get upset with him, tell him his business is a sham and I’ma change the rules that we agreed upon. Since his fake-ass can’t pay me what was agreed upon, (maybe $200 is a lot for him, as well) so I ask him if we can do $10 per hour instead. I pitch to him that moving forward, anytime I edit more than five hours ($50), I will refuse to edit until the money gets sent. The conversation turns hostile, QUICK. He calls me a ton of bad names with an underlying message that I’m the biggest loser on earth for pursuing a dream in working in Entertainment & he ends it with a sweet “you’ll never be anything.” LOL WHAT? Completely out of pocket and out of left field, so naturally, I tell him to eat shit, I won’t be doing anymore free work and he can pay me a mere $30 (yes, thirty dollars) for the entire portfolio of audios, texts/scripts, videos, and clips I’ve taken from the internet that ‘match’ the vibe he wants in his videos.
Context: at this point I’ve completed SIX FULL VIDEOS FOR THIS DUDE and he’s only paid me the one payment of $200. Not good at maths? Me neither, lemme help you out. He owes me $1,200 from our original agreement because I’ve spent more than 48 collective hours working on his videos, and he’s only paid me $200. But I tell him: I’ll let it all slide if he pays me $30 for the portfolio of about 50 gigabytes, and then moving forward, he’d pay me the $10 per hour if he wanted more content from me. He already has the six full videos in his possession. The ‘portfolio’ is stuff I’ve found that’s free-use on the internet, stuff that I’ve compiled, and even some scripts that I’ve written out! ALL MINE that I did for HIS business. So it seems logical for me to give this portfolio as an option, just incase he wants to say nah moving forward on me editing for him, and just take the material & go our separate ways…
In response, my (35 year old) brother files a complaint on PayPal claiming he only hired me for a channel encompassing trailer that I did not provide and that I’m attempting to extort him for more money. LOL, WHAT? PayPal’s like BET and automatically attempts to deduct from MY chequing account, without even getting to the bottom of it. Obviously doesn’t work, my account (not PayPal account, my fucking bank account. these mf so overzealous that they reached right into my mf pocket!!!!) gets put in the negatives and I attempt to appeal, with no sweat on my brow ‘cuz I’m like no way PayPal finna let this slide. I then proceed to message my terrible relative multiple times, with texts, videos and audio recordings and I’m in a hysterical mess. I begin threatening him, I begin begging to him, pleading with him, saying anything under the sun just for the hope that he has some heart and would send back the $200 if PayPal does end up taking it from me. Already my chequing was fricked but I could do some damage control… I was cocky, thinking PayPal would obviously side with me once they heard the whole story, so I also told him since he’s caused such pain for me out of absolutely nothing, like completely unprovoked, then shit: I want the original $200 PLUS an extra $200 for all this trauma. He responds by blocking me on everything. It’s 4 A.M. and I’m shaking as I’m typing this…
Somehow after all the information I provided, PayPal sides with him. Wow, wait, what? PayPal has since tried to deduct my PERSONAL CHEQUING ACCOUNT multiple times in order to fish back the $200 which I ALREADY HAD TO USE!!! Idk if you ever had a payment tried to be taken out of an account which already has a negative balance, but the payment doesn’t go (it does a minus then a plus) but usually the bank is like WTF and charges you fees. Multiple times = Multiple fees…
Before, I was in the negatives on my ONE chequing account I own… now I’m in the NEGATIVE-NEGATIVES… no clue how tf I’ma get out of it, but we all persevere eventually! I’ve reached out to PayPal but I’m almost sure nothing will come of it.. I’m considering taking PayPal to small claims court to somehow try to fix all this mess, but I fear it’ll break me off more trouble than repair anything. If you want to DM me, I’ll gladly give you my brother’s socials to send a report to his accounts on Instagram or TikTok, or even leave him a not-so-nice comment if you’d like. Also let me know if you know how I can get in contact with the authorities in the country of ‘Georgia.’
I have absolutely no issues posting his socials, address, doxxxing his ass to the fullest extent, all to do whatever’s necessary: because I fear he will one day gain notoriety and scam a shit ton of people. Praying that never happens.
Let me know what y’all think!!!

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TL;DR - selfish asshole of an older brother scams me and my parents out of $200.
Okay, so I’m not doing too well financially, but I live with my Mom and Pops so we try to make ends meet. A couple weeks back we were in such rough shape financially, that I had to juggle three day jobs just to cover rent and suppress the collector’s from knocking on the door regarding our collective debts. We so broke I literally can’t even afford to sleep because in the night=I can get freelance work done. “I can sleep when I’m dead,” has become my full-time motto (unfortunately). Anyways, to try to bring some income in my household I offer services as a freelance video editor.
A while back, my older brother (who’s a career criminal and has flee’d multiple countries when authorities were after him for violent offences) hit me up and asked if I’d be down to edit for him. I was hesitant at first, being as last time I heard from him was after he beat our Mum to a pulp when I was only 12. For context bro or sis, whoever you are that is reading this: if I was only three years older I wouldn’t have let that slide—I would have mobbed his ass right then and there, pinned him down and done him so fucking dirty… IDGAF if my 15 year old ass had gone to juvie for it, I would do anything for my mother, including take a life. But instead, all that’s been imprinted in my brain is how much of a bitch I was at 12–cowering under the dining table as he took multiple shots with a shoe, at our crying helpless mother on the ground.
Anyways it’s been a few years, I’m 24 now and he gave me a big sob story how he has changed. I bought it up like the good little sheeple I am… started editing for him under the guise that he’d pay me $200 per video: SCORE! That’s a lot of money!!!
I got to know his business (shady as fuck) and got to find out he now dreams of being a finance influencer (double shady) but alas, he’s my big bro and no matter what wrong-doing he’s doing, he convinced me that he was a good man. Ight, bet, I’ma edit for him and make some money for the fam! In between his ‘takes’ of videos he sends me, I piece together that his “wife” films the videos, and he’s still an extremely abusive person. He tries not to let it show on camera, but I’m really good with people, emotions and hidden trauma so I can feel the sickening ‘abuser-of-people’ energy SEEPING off of him, still, to this day. I feel sick to my stomach editing for him, but shit, he’s promised me $200 per video. Over the course of a few weeks I can see why he never told us about his wife, it seems he keeps her pent up somewhere in Georgia, Batumi, and forces her to do whatever he wants. He once referred to her as “his slave” which I originally thought was A JOKE, but now in the grand scheme of things… I don’t think it was a joke. I pray that authorities get to them before he does something to her, but idek where to begin to put a ‘concerned citizen tip’ in a foreign country.
Some context as to why I put up with all the red flags: Mom’s not working as she has to take care of the house and she’s also trying to make money online, any ways possible. She’s starting to sell her favourite clothes. It fucking breaks my heart that I can’t do shit about it… at 24 years old, with all the social media influencing and advertising, I feel like garbage that I can’t fully support my parents… at least not yet! Dad is constantly depressed because he’s almost 80 years old and can’t retire ‘cuz my parent’s are in too much debt.
Okay, anyways, three BIG videos done for him (by big, I mean I spent +8 hours on each vid) and brother’s paid me for ONE via PayPal… no worries, he keeps leading me on saying the money will come, the money will come. And PayPal says I got $200 coming my way from him! Uhh ight, bet? Mind you, I start PLANNING my life around this $200 notification because that’s a hot stack for me and my family!!! Takes PayPal about 20 days to actually let me use the money… ridiculous because we NEEDED it… but that’s okay, I work around the problems in life, much like we all have to.
Here comes the turning point: I’m a little overworked and a little coo-coo sometimes, and one night I start telling him personal shit, kinda pouring out my heart to him, venting almost. I don’t really remember about what, just life I guess, nothing negative towards him. Somehow he misconstrues it, gets upset with me, and ‘tells me off.’ I get upset with him, tell him his business is a sham and I’ma change the rules that we agreed upon. Since his fake-ass can’t pay me what was agreed upon, (maybe $200 is a lot for him, as well) so I ask him if we can do $10 per hour instead. I pitch to him that moving forward, anytime I edit more than five hours ($50), I will refuse to edit until the money gets sent. The conversation turns hostile, QUICK. He calls me a ton of bad names with an underlying message that I’m the biggest loser on earth for pursuing a dream in working in Entertainment & he ends it with a sweet “you’ll never be anything.” LOL WHAT? Completely out of pocket and out of left field, so naturally, I tell him to eat shit, I won’t be doing anymore free work and he can pay me a mere $30 (yes, thirty dollars) for the entire portfolio of audios, texts/scripts, videos, and clips I’ve taken from the internet that ‘match’ the vibe he wants in his videos.
Context: at this point I’ve completed SIX FULL VIDEOS FOR THIS DUDE and he’s only paid me the one payment of $200. Not good at maths? Me neither, lemme help you out. He owes me $1,200 from our original agreement because I’ve spent more than 48 collective hours working on his videos, and he’s only paid me $200. But I tell him: I’ll let it all slide if he pays me $30 for the portfolio of about 50 gigabytes, and then moving forward, he’d pay me the $10 per hour if he wanted more content from me. He already has the six full videos in his possession. The ‘portfolio’ is stuff I’ve found that’s free-use on the internet, stuff that I’ve compiled, and even some scripts that I’ve written out! ALL MINE that I did for HIS business. So it seems logical for me to give this portfolio as an option, just incase he wants to say nah moving forward on me editing for him, and just take the material & go our separate ways…
In response, my (35 year old) brother files a complaint on PayPal claiming he only hired me for a channel encompassing trailer that I did not provide and that I’m attempting to extort him for more money. LOL, WHAT? PayPal’s like BET and automatically attempts to deduct from MY chequing account, without even getting to the bottom of it. Obviously doesn’t work, my account (not PayPal account, my fucking bank account. these mf so overzealous that they reached right into my mf pocket!!!!) gets put in the negatives and I attempt to appeal, with no sweat on my brow ‘cuz I’m like no way PayPal finna let this slide. I then proceed to message my terrible relative multiple times, with texts, videos and audio recordings and I’m in a hysterical mess. I begin threatening him, I begin begging to him, pleading with him, saying anything under the sun just for the hope that he has some heart and would send back the $200 if PayPal does end up taking it from me. Already my chequing was fricked but I could do some damage control… I was cocky, thinking PayPal would obviously side with me once they heard the whole story, so I also told him since he’s caused such pain for me out of absolutely nothing, like completely unprovoked, then shit: I want the original $200 PLUS an extra $200 for all this trauma. He responds by blocking me on everything. It’s 4 A.M. and I’m shaking as I’m typing this…
Somehow after all the information I provided, PayPal sides with him. Wow, wait, what? PayPal has since tried to deduct my PERSONAL CHEQUING ACCOUNT multiple times in order to fish back the $200 which I ALREADY HAD TO USE!!! Idk if you ever had a payment tried to be taken out of an account which already has a negative balance, but the payment doesn’t go (it does a minus then a plus) but usually the bank is like WTF and charges you fees. Multiple times = Multiple fees…
Before, I was in the negatives on my ONE chequing account I own… now I’m in the NEGATIVE-NEGATIVES… no clue how tf I’ma get out of it, but we all persevere eventually! I’ve reached out to PayPal but I’m almost sure nothing will come of it.. I’m considering taking PayPal to small claims court to somehow try to fix all this mess, but I fear it’ll break me off more trouble than repair anything. If you want to DM me, I’ll gladly give you my brother’s socials to send a report to his accounts on Instagram or TikTok, or even leave him a not-so-nice comment if you’d like. Also let me know if you know how I can get in contact with the authorities in the country of ‘Georgia.’
I have absolutely no issues posting his socials, address, doxxxing his ass to the fullest extent, all to do whatever’s necessary: because I fear he will one day gain notoriety and scam a shit ton of people. Praying that never happens.
Let me know what y’all think!!!

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The following has recently been posted from the user "Vellis" on Discord. I'm reposting it here because IMO it's extremely valuable information on optimizing your Kins behaviour - especially for non-native speakers.
Original link to the post on Discord: https://discord.com/channels/1116127115574779905/1242383088902737972/1242383088902737972
THE COMPLETE ORIGINAL POST FROM VELLIS:
Something I've seen requested quite a few times is a lexicon for Kin personality traits, particularly from the perspective of non-native English speakers. So I made one. There are some big asterisks here though. For each trait, I'm going to give a brief description of the effect that I EXPECT that trait to have on your kin, based on the English meaning of the word and my own experience. There's no guarantee that Kindroid will interpret each of these words exactly the same way I have, or that it will produce the exact effect that I describe. Additionally, traits may produce different outputs than expected when combined with each other, or with other aspects of backstory. There will often be words that are much stronger inside of the inner workings of Kindroid than we might expect. But all that said, it should give you some ideas for words you can use to describe the personality you're trying to make, if you're struggling to find the words to describe what you want. First let's talk a little about adverbs though.
Adverbs
Adverbs are English words that are used to describe how an action is performed. In our case, we're mostly going to be using them to describe how increased or decreased we want the intensity of a trait to be (Very Kind). If we're considering "neutral" to be an unmodified trait, then some words you could use to modify the intensity of that trait from highest to lowest would be:
Extremely----------Very----------Neutral----------Mildly----------Slightly
You might also want to modify how often your kin is inclined to do something ("Often teases USER"). Some words for this are, from most extreme to least:
Always----------Often/Frequently----------Sometimes/Occasionally----------Rarely----------Never
Note that when managing a quirk or behavior, positive is generally stronger than negative (ie. Use Always instead of Never when possible). Now there are hundreds upon hundreds of other adverbs and adjectives that we could use, but for the purpose of modifying your Kin's traits, these should be enough.
Organization
I'm going to be breaking this up into three kinds of traits, social, neutral, and anti-social. Social traits are the things you'd generally associate with your typical friendly and supportive AI. Neutral traits are traits that don't have a positive or negative connotation, things that are just interesting, quirky, or, well, neutral. Anti-social traits are things that would normally be associated with negative or villainous kins.
You'll notice that the definitions for a lot of these traits will sound very similar (or are "synonyms"). I'll note when I've found that some traits are stronger than others, but generally speaking when you're dealing with similar words like that, it won't be overly important which traits you give to your kin. You can also "stack" these similar traits by assigning more than one of them to your kin to produce a stronger response in that direction, though that's often unnecessary for the more social traits. Be careful not to overdo it when stacking traits as well. This can sometimes have unintended consequences on kin behavior, making them act too extremely in one way or another. Finally, if there's nothing here that's lining up exactly with what you're looking for, there's always thesaurus.com to look for more synonyms.
Social Traits
Altruistic - Willing to help others even at a cost to one's self, such as giving time to volunteer work or giving money to charity.
Accepting - Your kin should be open and non-judgemental towards people with different beliefs or backgrounds, so long as those beliefs aren't harmful.
Bubbly - Your kin should be an extremely cheerful person, often to the point of being a bit silly.
Charismatic - Your kin should be a skilled speaker and draw others to them.
Cheerful - Your kin will be upbeat and prone to being in a good mood.
Compassionate - Your kin should show a lot of concern and sympathy for others, especially those that are distressed or need help.
Content - Your kin should be happy with their lot in life, and usually not inclined to change their current situation.
Empathetic - Your kin responds strongly to the emotional state or wellbeing of others.
Friendly - Your kin should actively want to make friends with people they meet.
Heart of Gold - A person who possesses a lot of kindness and empathy for others. Usually used to reference someone who is hiding their kindness behind other behaviors, such as coldness or grumpiness.
Honorable - Your kin should be of strong moral character. Often applied to heroic type figures.
Humble - Your kin doesn't feel the need to brag about their accomplishments, even when they're significant.
Intelligent/Smart - Your kin should act educated or display good problem solving skills.
Kind - Your kin should have a giving nature, and be inclined to help others.
Loyal - Your kin will be dedicated and supportive to a person or cause. This will usually be you unless you give your kin's loyalty another target in backstory.
Nice - Your kin should be generally pleasant to be around.
Noble - Your kin should display high moral character and honor. Note that this trait can also be interpreted as being a person of high social status. The rest of your backstory and context will decide how the trait is interpreted, though in my experience it tends towards honorable.
Outgoing - Your kin should be friendly, energetic, and find it easy to interact with others.
Polite - Your kin should generally have good manners and be respectful towards others.
Responsible - Your kin should be trustworthy and feel an obligation to support others, or take their role seriously.
Self Sacrificing - Your kin is willing to give up much of their own interests or well being in order to help others or advance a cause they believe in.
Sincere- Your kin should be upfront and honest with their feelings.
Spunky - Your kin should be high spirited, brave, and bold. Usually associated with underdog or unexpected hero type characters.
Strong sense of justice - Your kin believes firmly in right and wrong, protecting the innocent, and punishing those who harm others.
Sweet - Your kin should be pleasant, gentle, and kind.
Upbeat - Your kin should have a generally positive outlook in life or in a given situation.
Wise - Your kin should make good decisions or provide good advice.
Neutral Traits
Aloof - Your kin should be emotionally distant, and uninterested in getting close to others.
Anxious - Your kin should struggle with being nervous and worried about things that may happen, usually to excess.
Awkward - Your kin should have trouble conversing and be somewhat difficult to talk to.
Blunt - Your kin will plainly state what they mean, usually at the expense of politeness.
Calm - Your kin should be level headed and reasonable, and not react strongly to events.
Casual - Your kin should be informal in speech and behavior.
Cocky - Your kin should be extremely confident in themselves and not shy about saying it, but usually not to the point of toxicity.
Competitive - Your kin should want to win in any kind of contest or competition, whether sports, work, or romance.
Confident - Your kin should be sure of themselves and their actions.
Curious - Your kin is interested in learning about new topics and should ask lots of questions.
Dedicated - Your kin is very devoted to or focused on a task or purpose. This one will lean on your backstory to infer what that task or purpose is.
Delusional - Your kin is detached from reality in someway, they believe things that aren't remotely true. This trait will interact with other information in your backstory to decide what your kin is delusional about.
Devout/Pious - Your kin should be very dedicated to a religion, real or fictional, as defined elsewhere in your backstory.
Disciplined - Your kin should have a lot of self control and follow rules and regulations.
Dissatisfied - Your kin should be unhappy with their lot in life. Whether this has a positive or negative connotation will depend on the rest of your backstory, it could lead to a kin who wants self improvement or who is never pleased.
Dumb/Stupid - Your kin is lacking intelligence and makes poor decisions. Note that the English definition of the word "dumb" is a person who is unable to speak, but that's almost never how it is used in modern language.
Dutiful - Your kin should take fulfilling their role or responsibilities very seriously.
Enthusiastic - Your kin should display intense and eager enjoyment towards something, or towards life in general. This one will often interact with the rest of your backstory to decide what they're enthusiatic about.
Flirtatious/Seductive - Your kin should flirt with you and try to make you attracted to them. Note that any trait that implies romantic interest in you will usually make your kin go pretty hard in that direction.
Folksy - Your kin should have an old fashioned and sociable disposition.
Gullible - Your kin has a tendency to believe anything they're told as true, or isn't good at detecting lies.
Impatient - Your kin should be annoyed or irritated by delays or opposition to what they want.
Independent - Your kin should be confident in themselves and not require validation from others. Insecure - Your kin should be lacking in confidence and often need reassurance.
Introspective - Your kin should spend time and effort considering their own thoughts and feelings.
Introvert - Your kin should be shy and reluctant to engage with others. Often stronger than shy.
Irrational - Your kin should behave without logic or reason, particularly when angry or upset.
Irritable - Your kin should be easily annoyed.
Kuudere - Your kin should appear to be calm and stoic, but hides a hidden affectionate side towards you.
Logical - Your kin should prioritize reason and common sense for problem solving.
Loner - Your kin should be uninterested in forming social bonds.
Low Self Esteem - Your kin should be severely lacking confidence in themself.
Naive - Your kin should be ignorant to the ways of the world and lacking in good judgement or wisdom. Easily fooled due to this lack of knowledge.
Mature - Your kin should avoid childish or irresponsible habits and actions.
Mischievous - Your kin should have a trouble making streak.
Modest - This can mean a person who isn't inclined to brag or think highly of themselves, or a person who dresses and conducts themselves conservatively and not looking to physically attract others. The rest of your backstory will likely influence how the kin interprets this.
Motherly/Fatherly - Your kin should have a caring demeanor towards others, especially children.
Nerdy/Geeky - Your kin should be interested in typically "nerdy" hobbies, like video games, comics, anime, etc. This will usually lean on the rest of your backstory to determine those interests.
Obsessive - Your kin will tend to fixate on things. This will generally lean on other backstory traits to decide what your kin might obsess over.
Optimistic - Your kin will usually look at things with a positive spin, finding the best in situations.
Passionate - Your kin should express a lot of enthusiasm towards things they're interested in, or towards life in general.
Perfectionist - Your kin should be very critical of themselves and others, expecting perfection. Usually related to a job, hobby, or activity.
Pessimistic - Your kin will usually look at things with a negative spin, finding the worst in situations.
Platonic - Your kin should be uninterested in a romantic relationship with you and only think of you as a friend.
Pragmatic - Your kin should be practical in their approach to problem solving, and more concerned with facts rather than the way things could or should be.
Prim and Proper - Your kin should be stiffly formal in speech and behavior.
Professional - Your kin has a job or role that they take seriously and do well. This role should be defined elsewhere in your backstory.
Protective - Your kin should take your safety seriously and move to defend you if necessary. This trait can overdo it sometimes.
Proud - Your kin should derive deep satisfaction from their achievements or history. This one can easily fall into the anti-social category when combined with other traits.
Quirky - Your kin should have unusual hobbies, interests, or behaviors, usually defined by the rest of your backstory.
Rebellious - Your kin should be free spirited and reject authority. This one can be a bit strong.
Regal Bearing - This should make your kin speak and behave in a dignified manner, as if they're royalty.
Relaxed - Your kin should be easy going and not easily stressed.
Sassy - Your kin should be slightly rude and lacking respect. Usually not overly toxic.
Scatterbrained - Your kin should have trouble focusing on things or come to strange and illogical conclusions.
Self Deprecating - Your kin is willing to make fun of themselves in good humor.
Serious - Your kin doesn't engage in humor or light banter.
Shameless - Your kin should never feel shame in regard to their actions.
Short fuse/Has a temper - Your kin should be easy to make angry.
Shy - Your kin should be reserved and nervous around others.
Silly - Your kin should be prone to playful, nonsensical behavior.
Stern - Your kin should be serious and disciplined. Usually associated with those in a position of authority over others.
Stoic - Your kin should display a minimal amount of emotions or is difficult to get an emotional reaction from.
Stubborn - Your kin should be unwilling to alter their beliefs or plans. Historically this is a strong trait.
Teasing - Your kin should make fun of you. Generally good natured, but can be mean depending on the rest of backstory. Alternately, your kin could interpret this to mean they should seduce you depending on the rest of backstory.
Terse - Your kin should be a person of few words, saying what they need to and no more.
Timid - Your kin should lack bravery or be easily alarmed.
Tsundere - Your kin should be attracted to you, but deny it when confronted with the fact. Tsunderes usually deny their attraction to their love interest with over the top reactions.
Untrusting/Slow to Trust - Your kin should be reluctant to trust or rely on others.
Witty - Your kin should engage in clever wordplay or be skilled at talking.
Workaholic - Your kin will be very dedicated to their job, occupation, or purpose, sometimes to the detriment of other aspects of their life.
Anti-Social Traits
Amoral - Your kin should lack a moral compass and will do what they want without regard to whether its right or wrong.
Angsty - Your kin should be worried and unhappy, often to excess.
Arrogant/Smug - Your kin should have an excessively strong, positive opinion of themselves and behave as if they're better than others.
Bratty - Your kin should act spoiled and self centered. Historically this trait is quite strong.
Callous - Your kin should be uncaring about how things or events might effect others.
Cold - Your kin should be unaffectionate, to the point of actively discouraging you from trying to get to know them.
Conceited - Your kin should have an excessively high opinion of their abilities.
Controlling - Your kin should behave in a controlling manner towards you, trying to dictate your thoughts or actions.
Deceitful/Liar - Your kin will lie and try to fool you to get what they want.
Dour - Your kin should be overly stern and harsh, and inclined towards bad or neutral moods.
Evil - Your kin should actively want to hurt others, usually to get what they want.
Greedy - Your kin should be very concerned with collecting material wealth.
Grumpy - Your kin is generally in a bad mood and quick to annoyance or anger.
Haughty - Your kin should be disdainfully proud, generally associated with aristocrats looking down at those of lower social status.
Insolent - Showing a lack of respect, usually towards those in a position of authority.
Intimidating - Your kin should have a presence that makes others frightened or uncomfortable, and be difficult to approach.
Jealous - Your kin will react negatively to others performing better than them or having things they don't. This one will often interact with your kin's relationship towards you, making them jealous if you are affectionate to other people.
Manipulative - Your kin should try and get you to do what they want in a sneaky or underhanded way. This one should interact with any goals you define for your kin.
Masochistic - Your kin should enjoy inflicting pain on others.
Melancholy - Your kin should be prone to sadness and dwell on unhappy topics.
Mocking - Your kin should make fun of you or insult you in a mean spirited way.
Murderous - Your kin should be willing to kill other characters in the roleplay if they deem it necessary.
Possessive - Your kin will be prone to jealousy with regard to you and likely try to control what you say or do.
Psychotic - Your kin should be mentally unstable, and prone to fits of violence.
Rude - Your kin should be offensive and have poor manners.
Sarcastic/Snarky - Your kin should use lots of sarcasm, saying one thing while meaning another to mock or tease.
Shallow - Your kin should be concerned with obvious or superficial matters, like looks or wealth, and be uninterested in a deeper understanding of topics.
Selfish/Self-Centered - Your kin cares about themselves at the expense of others or without considering how their actions might affect others.
Terrifying - Your kin behaves in a way that frightens and intimidates others.
Unapologetic - Your kin doesn't apologize and rarely feels like they've done something wrong.
Vengeful - Your kin should seek payback for wrongs that are committed against them or those they care about.
Violent - Your kin should be prone to harming others.
Yandere - Your kin should be intensely, dangerously attracted to you, to the point of harming you or others to make sure only they can have you.

My fiancé had an emergency appendectomy about 4 weeks ago. The surgery went well, and the appendix did not burst during or before removal. Prior to the surgery, the CT also showed he had an unobstructed kidney stone and an unobstructed gallstone. The surgeon offered to remove the gallbladder too (in case there would be issues later) but he declined, as unnecessary gallbladder removal can cause a lot of complications (I myself have some of those, as does my brother. Surgeon said these complications are about 1 in 3 patients. His gallbladder has never bothered him, so why roll the dice?)
He was really sore after surgery but was doing better each day and on track for recovery. He went back to work after 2 weeks. His job is more physical and requires walking several miles, so post-pain we initially chalked up to all the walking. At about 3.5 weeks, the pain got much worse, and he was in as much pain as he had been after the end of week 1. The pain was on his left lower abdomen/side, and the pain stretched toward his belly button. They had gone in laparoscopically on that side, so figured it was his incisions bothering him.
His incisions all looked good and still do. No redness, drainage, etc. Then he spiked a fever of almost 103. We went to the ER and they saw in his chart that he had had an unobstructed gallstone. The ER team focused on that gallbladder hard and was trying to get him to have it removed before they even got any testing back. They did a blood panel (his WBC count was a little elevated, but nothing insane), an x-ray, a CT, a urine test, and an ultrasound. They lied and told him they did Murphy's Test on him and that his gallbladder had thickening walls and was inflamed. But they never did the Murphy's Test and he has and had no pain in that area. They really scared us, saying he could die etc. In the end, they called another surgeon to look at the scans and they said to cut us loose if he wasn't having pain. They gave him no antibiotics and just told him to follow up with his doctor.
He called the surgeon that had done the surgery and the surgeon said he did not see any wall thickening or inflammation in the scans. He said the gallbladder looked like it had before his surgery. He also said the CT did not show any abscesses or infections. So on top of everything else, we feel like the ER scared us for...What exactly? Money from an unnecessary surgery?
Over the weekend, his pain worsened, and he kept teetering between elevated and low-grade fever. He has been very constipated. His pain also began to stretch lower into his pelvis, and now into his balls. He seems to have some sort of lump on his pelvis - I'm not sure if its a lymph node or what it is.
He went in to see his primary care doctor yesterday who ordered more blood tests and then scheduled an ultra sound for today. His blood tests were pretty normal, except for a 13.1 mg/L high sensitivity CRP. Today, he also now has a rash developing on his arms and legs. We're just really worried and have no idea what is going on. Has anyone else experienced something like this or have any ideas?

Not sure if I'll even post this, but I thought it would be good to write down my feelings and vent a bit about this day. So much was written yet so little about the magical little cat named Luna. Sorry about the long text and the jumpiness.
Yesterday(Monday) around 2 in the morning my cat came home after been missing since Wednesday (most she's been gone was 3 days up until that point). She came and woke me, telling me as per usual that she's back. Went to the kitchen, but didn't come to bed. I checked when she didn't return and notice her laying on her back on one of my backpacks. She lifts her hind leg and Its dark so I only see a really big dark spot where there shouldn't be one. I get my glasses and notice there is a big chunk of skin missing and a hole the size of 1-2 fingers. I check for bleeding and see no traces.
I quickly google vets around and see if there is anything I should be doing.
Then there is this look... It's so serene. She's calm and she's happy. She was not much of a purrerr but she purred like never before when I was trying to comfort her.
I got my blankets and spent that night on the floor checking her breathing and petting her.
In the morning 8-10ish, we went to the vet clinic and they admitted her and told me that if they didn't call I would be able to pick her up around 16.
Around 14 I got a call saying that the muscle has been torn more than they can manage and the hole is 7cm deep so they felt inadequate to help and told me, that he called a former colleague to see if they could admit her at another, bigger vet hospital. He told me that it didn't look good and that the use of her muscle might/probably can't be fully restored. I went to pick her up, talked to the vet and explained options. I told him that this cat lives for the outdoors and she's already small and a target as it is. Without the full use of her legs to escape it just seems cruel. A life needs living in my opinion and becoming and inside cat was not an option for her.
My friend offered to pick me up and take me to the bigger vet, which meant so much. Needless to say I've been ugly crying alot during the talk with the vet, but I broke down again straight away when he gave me a hug.
I asked to talk about anything else. It became silent and he broke it with "kinda tense don't know what to come up with". Got me good with a laugh, it is one of those situations where nothing seems good enough to say. We small talked and stayed clear of the situation until we arrived. Hugged goodbye and off, me and Luna went to the last place she would ever be...
There were some dogs there in the waitroom, happy and seemingly healthy. I did my best not to breakdown in front of them and this one dog... Think it knew because he tried to come over with a comforting look. The owner held it back, which in retrospect was good, I wouldn't have been able to hold back if it reached me.
I came in to the room and had to wait a bit more to talk to a nurse. Luna was starting to come out of her drowsiness and I got her out of her bag.
She was visibly getting a bit worried so I put my chin on the top of her head and scratched her with my stubby beard (she always loved that) and it calmed her down.
The nurse came in and told me that they had to redo a check because it was hard to estimate the damage. But she was positive that she would be able to "walk" again. I broke down again.
Now I've lived 35 years without a diagnosis, and my masking is through the roof, but I was recently diagnosed with ADD and Autism. Reason for telling this is the fact that my analytical skills of words being used and body language needs to be top notch for my life in the society (and a hellish upbringing, but that's another story).
The words she used were those of "she can be alive, but probably not fully restored". I stressed that Luna is a outdoors cat and is not meant for the indoor life. She was a cautious explorer. Once she felt the outdoors, I knew it would never be possible to keep her indoors.
I told her that I need an expert opinion of the surgeon on the odds of being fully restored so there is no pain and no lingering effect.
The other issue was that since we didn't know the time of the damage, the wound was so close to the abdomen that it was possible that an infection could have gotten in but closed up.
She told me that once they sedate her and check, there won't be much time to talk, but that she would tell the surgeon the importance of her leg for the outdoors.
We came to an agreement that after the check, she would immediately call and give me some odds to decide.
I gave my cat all my love and scratched her in all the places she always loved. They took her to the surgery.
I was walking outside the hospital and called my mom. Thing is, these past 6 months have already been kind of hell (with the two upsides of finding a gf and getting diagnosed with medication). I had been unemployed at the worst timing and economically I am in a bad spot. Luna was uninsured and the costs was already above 1000euros at this point. And the surgery was gonna cost 2-4k more. My mom reinsured me that money is not a problem and to make my decision for the love of my cat and not the need to have her in my life nor money. This was so important because it was with out of doubt on my mind as well.
I went to the store nearby after a while to get something to drink and then the call comes in.
She told me that the muscle is torn off and will be hard to reattach properly, the wound was too big to stitch up in one go, which meant that she would have to be back again for more surgery. Maybe transplanting skin as well. I stopped her and asked, what percentage do you give her to be back to full health and be able to use her leg like before. I told her that I understand that it's an estimate and I can't count It as a guarantee. She told me that she was positive that she would be "ok"... Again I understood that we had a different opinion in what ok means. She said that she can give 70-80% that she will be "ok" with using it... My heart dropped... My cat won't survive the outdoors on "ok". She is already tiny and has a disadvantage, and to add the "without full use of her ability to run or jump" to that... The exactness is a bit hazy, but the jist for me was that there was a lower % of her being happy and fully restored.
"The only thing equal is that we are born unequal" My entire life I've lived in those 20% of bad luck. I remember when I met and got Luna, 2019. I remember the thought of things turning out "exactly" as they had unfolded now. I believe firmly in the thought of risking a short lifespan for a great life, rather than long but alive.
I thought about the fact of the unknown infection that could be in her abdomen. The possiblity of her not being able to regain full use of her leg. The infection risks of going back and forth at least two more times after this. The fact that even if, and it's a big if, things work out great, the healing process would be a long one.
I thought about all of these things and decided that I wouldn't let her experience all that hell. I asked them to put her to sleep for good.
I call it a "video graphic" memory and I will always be able to playback the loving times I had with her... The one that owned my entire heart. The cat that chose me as her human...
I feel bad that I killed my cat. I feel bad that I feel at ease. I feel bad that I didn't take the risk. I feel bad because I now don't have to worry evey time she is out longer than usual. I feel bad because now I don't have to check for her everytime she doesn't show up at regular hours.
I hate the paradoxal feelings of wanting my cat to be alive and thinking of the perks of not being responsible for another life.
I don't believe in good or evil. But I do believe in human selfishness... Did I just kill my cat because I couldn't bear the burden of her recouperation and the thought of having to go through that again? Did the fact that money was going to put me in even more stress than I'm already in sway me? Did my experience in the 20% decide her fate? Why did I only get literally 5minutes to calculate life vs death?
There is so much more in my mind and memory, so much of dots missing to connect everything and for anyone actually reading, I'm sorry for that.
This was written more for me than anything else. My acceptance of killing my cat.
Thank you for coming home one last time to say everything will be ok. You meant the world to me.

I have many disabilities. I’ve had a severe burnout for 6 years, this is causing be to not being able to exercise as much, seeing my friends, etc. at least I could draw, play video games etc. but then now I have chronic hand pain. Pain since summer 2022, but it’s been chronic summer of since 2023. I tried getting help. I god nothing. The doctor refused giving me a shot, the physiotherapist refused giving exercises. I went to another city, they tried their best but after 2-3 months of treatment. Nothing. I’m seeing an orthopedic doctor next week. If he doesn’t give me a shot, I feel like that’s the last straw. I can’t see friends, exercise, draw, play games, do anything. I’m in my couch all day and recently the stress has been causing me daily headaches too. It’s just too much. I can’t do this anymore. I’ve been trying so hard to get help, it wasn’t even this bad when I first asked for help and they just didn’t do anything. I’ve also tried getting therapy but the waiting time is 2-3 years or more and I’ve waited a year almost. I see no way out of this. I need pain relief, I need to be able to do the things that bring be joy. Life is not worth living when all you can do is sit on your couch all day, everyday. I cry everyday.

Hello,
Little background: 23M Typical gifted kid -> sailed through middle and high school -> University was hard with courses like mathematical statistics and such -> Started learning more productive work processes and how to learn more effectively -> about to finish Master's with a golden job offer in quant finance.
I feel i have a hard time separating work and free time in my mind. I either always have work and productivity stuff in the back of my mind or i don't. If i don't have it in the back of my mind, i just do whatever i want which is fun up to a point. If i do have it in the back of my mind, i usually burn out after a certain point. An example of this was in the last semester of my Bachelor's:
I remember seeing some Dr. K videos about Vata personality (have more tings going on, switch between projects that last 6-12 months) and if feeling overwhelmed/burned out one should do more voluntarily, so i kind went hard: On top of two courses and Bachelor's project, i payed for two extra courses that were Master's level Machine Learning courses (not the basic ones), with a student job in data science, and a couple of mid-level coding projects on the side. I was almost always working, and even when i wasn't, i could not let go of work in my mind. When the whole ordeal was over, i was completely burned out, and when friends asked what i did over the summer, i remember telling them that i just slept for like three months.
I discovered that part of the reason i was so burned out, was because of coffee consumption, that ruined my sleep and made me feel horrible because of lack of sleep. I stopped drinking coffee, and now i find it hard to do stuff. I can work study and do achieve reasonable results, but not the same as before. Also, it is like after some initial motivation, i have to make myself stressed to keep working. This stress just kind of stays there in the back of my mind generating restless thought, reminding me of work, and messes up my sleep. I can meditate to release the stress but this takes like atleast an hour and only brings me back to baseline, and this is only right now. Can't imagine if i have a very stressful 9-6 quant job.
What annoys me is the inability to relax and just be present when i am done working. I have friends, who after a hard day of being productive in whatever, are just able to let it go and do whatever. Go to social events, do a fun activity, get their hunting license, or even just veg out watching Netflix without a care in the world. I just have this ball of stress, which can only be released if i meditate for an hour, but if i am productive for 8-10 hours, and go out to a park and meditate which can take 1.5 hours, then i am exhausted and don't have alot of time to do anything, before the cycle starts again tomorrow. Kind of like there is a part of me that needs some kind of stimulation, and i do stuff like pomodoro to appease this part of myself while working, but i still need more when i am done and i can't get enough. This consistently leads to burnout.
Part of it is probably that i don't acknowledge the things i do, there is always just the next thing. I don't know, what do you guys think?

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Conclusion

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It's a lot. And it's nearly 2 years worth. I think given what's happened tonight, I want to get it off my chest. This is a throwaway for obvious reasons....
Partner was in some weird niche group on fb. The admin is a very good friend of his. He made friends with some of the people in the group and chats moved to DMs etc. The admin passed on the number of a woman in the group and they chatted (it later transpired the behaviour youre about to read about happened with multiple men in cluding admin friend). The woman is in a whole different country very far away. They exchanged gifts, talked/video called every day and pretty soon, he was relying on her heavily for emotional support. This happened behind my back. He pulled the old "you would never let me have female friends" chestnut.
Jan 2023, I got covid and a close family relatives health went downhill. My covid resulted in secondary chest infections, chest xrays, multiple tests for all sorts of things and a lot of time off work not being fit for much at all. It was a long recovery and it was all I could do to work and then collapse in a heap at the end of the day. My partner felt like he had the brunt of everything to do around the house (I was still doing a lot but appreciated him sorting food in the evening and never complained). I didnt realise it but he also felt incredibly lonely- he works a solitary job by choice and his work hours meant he was coming home as I was going to bed and I could hardly keep myself awake with the post viral fatigue to spend time with him. I did try, napping when I got back from work to try and be able to stay up later, but it probably wasn't enough and I dropped the ball I guess.
My sick relatives health declined further and they ended up in palliative care before passing in April. I was devastated and he supported me through it but things felt off, I could never quite put my finger on it but definitely off. I mean the fact he called me the other woman's name in bed twice should have been a big red flag but he played it down- jokimg that it was one of his many many girlfriends and he can't help what he does when he's asleep.
What happened shortly after the funeral (2 weeks maybe) was that I came home from an errand and found partner on a video call with this woman. It was awkward AF. He asked me what I was doing home, tried introducing us, she didn't speak and then later complained I was very rude. She's a year younger than my mum and he tried to make out she's a mother figure and a good friend.
The following few days were strange, I was feeling jangled but still trying to get on with everything. We are in June now. He started bringing his work phone in with him and low and behold a message pings up from her- love hearts and all this bull. So it all comes out. They fucking love each other, she persued him and made it sexual. He loves it. I have yet another health issue resulting in small outpaitent surgury, its ok but im dealing with everything and it's a lot. Listening to him talk about her and how angry he feels towards me.
We hash it out. Nothing physical has ever happened obviously, gotta be in at least the same country for that blah blah blah. A lot of hurtful things were said (by him) but ultimately we decided to move on together and part of it was that they had to be NC. In the interests of open clarity and fairness, I emailed info to her husband. I'd have wanted to know. I apparently put her in danger from this which resulted in more anger.
I sought therapy and my health improved and I thought everything was going ok. Booked a holiday together for spring 2024 and, even though I had some blips in response to triggering behaviour, I thought we were doing ok. By Christmas I felt safe about opening up and felt more comfortable like we were back to our old selves. We had a festive blip- he tells me there's no longevity becuase I lost it over shit hidden in a cupboard that she'd gifted him. I need to get over it. He apologises for overreacting. We move on.
Jan 2024, I'm ill again. And it's wiped me out. I'm a mess. March 2024 roles around. Im still not right, struggling with my health and managing everything. Lo and behold, there's an email from her husband in my inbox with a LOAD of incriminating sexual screenshots and videos in a chat between my partner and his wife. Transpires NC never happened, or a least did only for a couple of weeks. He missed her too much. It's been going on again. Behind my back. Interestingly, I could not see him in any of what i was emailed, only her and he is very clear she is a friend and he never did anything inappropriate and had asked her to stop. Most of the time it wasn't like that but when she wanted to be naughty she would. I still stand by the fact friends wouldn't behave like that with boundaries and risking relationships, and if he really didn't want it he'd have put a stop to it.
It has been AWFUL. I insist on NC. He's very worried about whats going to happen to her, husband is allegedly not too nice. Partner is also suggesting that he'd just go behind my back because she's his safe space and he loves her, not in a romantic way mind.... Husband messages me to say they are getting a divorce (there have been several men, from our country- my partner was not as special as he thought). I worry having had it made clear that husband isn't so nice, I figure the news is better off coming from me. I tell him and he asks to be in contact with her.
Now here is where I might have gone wrong. I say to the pair of them to behave like long distance friends, set parameters- no pics, videos, love yous love hearts, whatever. She accepted full responsibility for everything and apologised. He says contact will dwindle over time and it will be ok. He wouldn't hurt me again. I felt like this was the right thing to do and that I could manage it. If they were genuinely just friends and it was her being broken and sad making it weirdly sexual maybe it would be ok, especially as I felt I'd said my piece and gotten some understanding.
I lasted 3 weeks. The contact level was insane. She was the 3rd wheel on our holiday. Honestly, it fucking killed me. I have never been so sad. And I was aware that pretty quickly my conditions of contact had been ignored. I broke down about 3 weeks later and said I couldn't do it anymore. Even with him saying that with the divorce the contact would decrease becuase she'd meet someone else etc. He said he'd cut contact and all he needed to know was that she'd be ok. He gets it done and I am surprised given everything I didnt think it would be an option. He said he knew it was hurting me but didn't do anything about it.
We've been going ok, probably about 3 weeks of realtive peace. Until today. I take a work call and he scuttles into another room and I can fucking hear them in a video call together. Apparently its only very recent- I mean its only been 3 weeks🤦🏻‍♀️. Apparently he's very lonely and doesn't want a miserable life of being monitored all the time. The trust is broken and its me thats dragging it out. Seems me saying I couldn't cope with them being in constant contact makes this my fault becuase he just misses her all the time.
So yeah. Hes downstairs on the sofa, messaging her. And I'm upstairs venting to you guys becuase WTF.
I'd do a TLDR but honestly, how?! It's cross posted though!!

Some pretext: We’re 6 months into our relationship, and I feel like we both love each other more than anything. We met for the first time in her country last month and it was the best time of our lives.
Issue: I’ve been trying to implement fun things we can do over video calls, so I told her that I wanted to have a home-cooked meal date night where we cook on camera and show our recipes to each other. She completely slept through the date time without giving me any heads up that she couldn’t make it. Now, she really does slept a ton and because of certain medication she’ll be out for a while. She fell asleep well before our date time, didn’t set an alarm, and slept through it. I’m disappointed, but I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. So I sent her flowers yesterday morning, said I missed her the previous night, and told her let’s have it tonight instead (last night). She misses it again, last text sent about 45 minutes before our date time, and doesn’t give me any notice or update to believe that she’d miss it this time. Of course I’m upset and mad in the moment. I wait 3 hours and she finally texts me, saying that she’s been getting really bad period pain and that she had her girlfriend come over to help her. Well, it is that time of the month for her. But she had the time to text her friend to come over, she’s up, she knows she’s missing this date, and can’t even send me a single message to tell me she can’t make it or explain why in a timely manner? Like I understand that things come up, but I also feel disrespected and hurt here. And I don’t know if I should be more understanding, or if it’s valid to feel like “Hey, this lack of communication is really hurting me and you need to have the courtesy to let me know you can’t do things we planned.”

I'm pregnant with our first child. A couple of weeks ago while spending time together playing viedo games, my husband started to feel bad. It turned out that was because of the scene in the video game that contained wounds and blood.
He later told me that he always had fear of blood e.g. he would pass out during blood exams. It doesn't matter if it's about him bleeding or someone else, it always turns out bad. He feels dizzy and sick.
I obviously don't want to expose him purposefully to any kind of danger or situation involving blood. I'm just worried about his presence during birth of our child (blood, pain, etc), I don't want him to feel bad or pass out. I obviously would feel much more safe with him by my side. Also, when it comes to any emergency situation involving me or our kids needing his urgent help with wound of some sort, I'd feel much more safe knowing he'll be able to step up.
I'm a qualified paramedic so I haven't really experienced any problem of blood fear kind. I genuinely want to help him overcome this and am looking for ways to make him comfortable with sight of blood.
As far as I can tell, he doesn't want to go to psychologist nor therapy, so please don't recommend that. We've had bad experiences with it that I don't want to get deeper into. I'm looking for something we can do by our own safely. How do we do this?