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How do I (35M) get my life back after caring for my father (75M)?

2024.05.21 19:04 Dazzling_Material340 How do I (35M) get my life back after caring for my father (75M)?

Where to even start with this one. I promise you it’s not even what you think.
My Dad has been ill for many years with a condition that is now finally stable. He’s had a couple of horrible other conditions running alongside the original, one of which was pretty damn gruesome and still gives me PTSD dreams. There were a fair few surprise trips to the emergency room to get that one under wraps but we managed to get it settled down with the correct medication.
He was generally fine day-to-day, but anything serious that needed to be dealt with he struggled with which left me managing all his medical correspondence and financial affairs went through me for the past 5 or 6 years since he couldn’t mentally cope with any of it and there was me who could step in for him other than the nurses who still attend his house once a day even now since he can’t manage his own medication.
We had quite a good relationship, he’d come over for coffee and chats and would watch silly TV with me, show interest in my life and included me in his hobbies. We spoke a lot on the phone and things generally ticked along quite nicely in between medical problems.
Enter: The girlfriend.
I’ll start by saying I’m not in any way opposed to him having a girlfriend or partner at all. I even helped him do online dating for a little bit since he felt he wanted to get back on the scene after recovering. He met his now girlfriend through friends and ever since she’s been around him things have been off between us. She was living with her long term ex partner and was seeing my Dad at the same time, before leaving him and moving in “unofficially” with my Dad.
I expressed concerns about this situation and have been branded the bad guy, and am being seen as “attacking” him and having a problem with her. I’ve never met this woman. How could I dislike someone I’ve never met? I’m morally opposed to cheating and felt it was my right to say I didn’t agree but I have never once said I had anything against his actual girlfriend, only the decisions she’s made. I tried to be tactical and gentle in my approach as well but this was met with defensiveness and aggression.
I’ve spent the last few years trying my best to help him and sometimes making myself ill with stress because I love and care about him. He’s my Dad.
But now he doesn’t call, only tells me selective information about what he’s doing and has basically moved his girlfriend in full time after about 2 months, they’ve also booked various vacations together and he seems to be spending far more money than he has.
I feel like he has explicitly made it clear he no longer wants my help with anything and is no longer interested in my life. He no longer welcomes me into his life.
How do I get my own life back after I’ve spent so many years tending to his? I’ve had to abandon my hobbies since I had to be on call for him and make room in my life to help in his medical emergencies. I live nearby in case he needs my help, but I now find myself in a place where I’ve gone from being “on call” to no longer needed in less than a couple of months.
How do I adjust to this and rediscover who I am outside of all this mess, so so can start living for myself again?
TL;DR: I spent many years caring for my ill father who struggled with medication and treatment. I did my best and we became close and talked a lot. Now he has a new girlfriend who he has moved in after 2 months and he’s pretty much stopped talking to me. How do I adjust to this jarring change in my life?
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2024.05.21 18:42 arckadventure Wake Me Up From This Nightmare

I had a wonderful childhood. I couldn't have asked for a better one. My parents, brother, family, ... so much love in my life.
As I got older, I started to become exposed to the harsh realities of life. The people closest to me and the ones I loved the most started to get sick and pass away. I lost my dog. Life wasnt the same. And later, was diagnosed with Crohns which had a massive impact on my life and self confidence. I felt like a lab rat.. so many tests, doctor visits, medicine, diets, needles, ... eventually extensive surgery.
Luckily, after years of torture, I made it out ok. I started to build back my confidence, and was optimistic about the future. Before I knew it, I met the love of my life. I felt so extremely lucky to have you in my life. It felt like a dream. I felt that after all that pain and loss, I had finally had something good happen to me.
As time we on, we became best friends. You confessed your love to me, said I was different than all the rest, and you saw a future with me. You expressed how special I was to you. I felt the same way.
We met eachothers families, who became so close with eachother. I truly loved your family, they felt like home. My family loved you so much... my parents loved you like a daughter, and I knew you loved them too. We had everyone's support and love. We were the golden couple. We grew and experiences so much together. Bought our first house, saw the world, new jobs, school, ... Everyone was so proud of us, and we were proud of eachother.
Somewhere along the way, you started seeking outside the relationship for attention. I knew you were very social, so at first, I was happy to see you making friends. I knew you had a difficult childhood and past, and didn't have many good friends, so I was very supportive and encouraged you to do things with your friends.
We were inseparable. Always going things together, planning trips, going on adventures. Everything was easy. We enjoyed eachothers company so much. We made eachother laugh, feel loved, and safe. We were so comfortable and open, goofy with eachother, and always so intimate.
We shared a lot of the same hobbies: plants/garden, camping, trails, video games, movies, travel, outdoors, relaxing at home, ... it didn't seem to matter what we were doing, we were happy together.
I loved making you smile and laugh. I loved seeing you happy doing what you loved, or eating a meal I'd prepare for you.
I always wanted you to have the best. Since you were in school, I provided for you. Food, toys, restaurants, trips, ... whatever you wanted. I wanted to give you the world. It felt so good to make you happy.
You would tease me and hint towards wanting to get engaged. After 3 years, it happened. We were so happy, and you were so excited and happy to share the big news. We started planning our wedding, moved into a bigger house, new jobs, everything felt good.
I never expected to love someone so much. This young woman brought so much love, happiness, and adventure into my life. She completed changed everything. Everything was so easy.. effortless.. felt right.
When we moved into your dream home, things became more stressful. The house needed a lot of work, as well as the property. Regardless, we were willing and eager to tackle projects together and were excited to make things our own.
As time went on, and school/work seemed to become more stressful for you, I was left finishing a lot of our projects and maintaining them by myself. I also stepped up and started trying to take on more of the chores and responsibilities so that you could focus on school/work and still have time to relax. I was happy to help give you some relief.
After a few months, your brother asked to be our roommate for a time. I was hesitant, but you encouraged me that it would be a good thing. He would pay and help around the house. At first, it was nice. However, as time we on, it became more and more stressful.
The stress of doing everything and having a roommate that didn't mesh well with us overwhelmed me. I knew it was temporary, so I endured it.
One day, you came home from your new job and expressed what a good day you had.. that you had the chance to work with a different doctor, and that he was very fun and nice. I was so happy to hear it, since I knew you hadn't been having good days and people had been difficult. I was glad you seemed to have a mentor.
You started to have more good days than bad, working with this person more and more. You started talking to me about them more, sharing things you learned and talked with him about. As time went on, I started to feel a bit jealous. You had been spending more time with this person than me... your shifts were long, and I hadn't been seeing you as much. You started even talking to our parents about this person.
I started to notice you texting him while we were at home together. I'd ask, and you'd happily share whatever it was you guys were talking about. One evening, you were texting this doctor late at night. I approached you about this, and expressed how it was making me feel. I felt that it had started to become too much, and wasn't appropriate. I didn't like the idea of this older married man communicating with my young fiance so much. I expressed that I was happy that you had a friend at work, but felt that it was becoming too personal and inappropriate. You tried to reassure me that you were just friends, and that he was old and married, you would never be attracted to him. I stood firm and expressed that I would like for you to only communicate while at work, or for work related matters. You agreed and assured me it was nothing.
As time went on, I noticed you would sometimes hide your phone, turn it away, flip it upside down, or turn it off as I walked by. At first, I thought it was just me being paranoid. But as time went on, it started to mess with my head... otherwise, everything was good, so I told myself it was nothing. You started to enjoy that type of work and decided to join his practice. I was happy you were able to make up your mind and find something you enjoyed. Time went on. At some point, you needed an invasive procedure done... and you requested that doctor complete it. I didn't love the idea, but you preferred to have someone do it that you trusted. After that, the doctor seemed to be a thing of the past.
As the wedding date approached, the excitement increased. We had everything planned out and we were so excited for our big day. I saw how happy you were throughout the whole process. I couldn't believe our big day was right around the corner.
Our wedding was like a dream. Everything came together so nicely. We had the best night of our lives. I loved seeing you so happy with our friends and family there to celebrate with us. We went on a wonderful honeymoon and I felt so loved and appreciated.
Once we returned home, our roommate left, and stress started to decrease dramatically in the house. I was so relieved. You finished school, graduated, and I threw you a big surprise party to celebrate. I had always put together parties for all your special occasions, and I knew you really appreciated that. After so many nights helping you study, it felt wonderful to see you walk across that stage and finally finish.
You shortly after moved to a different hospital, and seemed to really like your new job and everyone there. Life was so good...
The house and our list of responsibilities and all the maintenance was still a lot, but I felt we were quickly starting to knock things off our list.
One week, you started working a lot... I hardly saw you that week. We'd always text and check in, saying we loved eachother, missed eachother, and looked forward to seeing eachother. When the weekend finally arrived, you had mentioned your best friend invited you to join her for girl time. I realized you hadn't seen her much lately and encouraged it.
That weekend, my grandmother had been struggling. I felt alone in our big house and had wished you were there. We checked in on eachother while you were gone. I was expecting you to return one evening, so I had dinner prepared. I was hurt when you didn't arrive and decided to stay another night with your friend.
When I saw you the next morning, I was feeling pretty down. I was already sad about my grandmother, but also felt like an after thought that week. You were so happy to see me, which was nice. We had a nice evening, spent time together, .. you never stopped telling me you loved me.
The next day after work, I got home, and you seemed so cold and distant. You seemed bothered by something. I checked in, asked if you needed anything, then went about my day. It seemed like you wanted space. I checked in every few hours, and you were busy doing something on your laptop.
I prepared dinner and started watching TV. I encouraged you to take a break, eat, and relax some before bed. You joined me on the couch, but was quiet and explained that you had some work to finish.
As it got late, I went up to bed. You explained you'd be up a little longer while you finished your work. As the hours went by, I thought it was so odd that you weren't in bed yet. I knew you had to get up early... sleep was always such a priority. I got up to check on you and to get some water. You were still on your laptop.. I noticed you were looking at rooms to something. I encouraged you to get some sleep. You joined me, looking exhausted.
We cuddled, said we loved eachother, then fell asleep. The next morning, I finished getting ready for work while you slept. As I was getting ready to leave, I sae your laptop. I decided to check and see what you were looking at... another air bnb for a trip? I was curious. We shared the laptop, so I didn't feel like I was invading her privacy.
I opened the laptop and saw apartments. I was so confused. I checker her email.. apartments. I noticed she had Facebook messenger up with recent messages. I checked... my world turned upside down. Those seconds felt like eternity as my heart sounded and my stomach sank. I read a message to a friend saying she wanted a divorce, never loved me, felt like a stranger in her house, dreaded coming home to me, ... that she loved a doctor.. he's married, but his wife is a lesbian. That was easily the worst moment of my life. I panicked and didn't know what to do... I was in shock. After a few minutes, I decided to address this with you.
I quietly walked up the stairs, sat on the edge of the bed, and calmly woke you up. You were sleepy, asking why I woke up.. you still had about 30m before work. I apologized for waking you.. As I looked at you silently, I started to cry. I quietly said "I know...". "I saw the messages". She looked back at me in shock.. eyes wide in the dark. I asked if she had been having an affair. She said no.. then started to look at me as if I wad a stranger. It was a terrible feeling.
You got up to get ready for work, and said we'd talk later that evening. You left. I was standing in the driveway and felt sick. I wasn't sure if I could make it to work.. but being at the house was making me feel worse, so I left. I didn't eat anything that while day. While at work, I prepared myself for our talk.
When we both got home, you pulled up to the house and started to pack some things while I sat on the couch. When you finally joined me, you were quiet.. asked about my day, I asked about yours.. then more silence. I asked what you needed from me. You explained that you were feeling very anxious, and didn't want me to get upset. You said you were going to stay with a friend for a few days to clear your head and wanted to talk once we were both rested.
You left for almost a week while I stayed in our big empty house, taking care of our pets, and completely confused and dead inside. I hardly ate or slept. I desperately started reading and watching whatever information I could find to help explain what was happening and to prepare myself. I spent most of my time thinking, reflecting on our life. I started tonrealize how stressed I had been... and thought about all the things I should/could have done differently. I knew I treated her so well, but no one is perfect.
Looking back, I started to think about all the red flags. Love is blind. I truly loved, trusted, and cared for this person more than anyone in the world. I thought she felt the same way... I never imagined us seperating.
I started to think of that doctor she used to talk about.. and realized she probably never stopped talking to him. I started to realize that my wife had stopped opening up to me... was no longer emotional or vulnerable... her emotional? affair started to kill the emotional intimacy between us.
I was happy just to have her in my life and enjoyed just being with her... she never expressed or talked about being unhappy... if I had known, I feel certain that we could have fixed whatever was lacking. I would have met whichever needs werent being met.
Were you lonely while I was busy working hard for us? Was she bored? I would have happily planned more outings... whenever I suggested something, you expressed that you were tired or didn't show interest. I knew you enjoyed time alone, so I never felt bad doing my own thing. I figured you would tell me of you needed or felt something...
I was so confused... started to question what was real. When did this all start? Why? How? Terrible thoughts entered my mind... so many late shifts, staying the night at the hospital, leaving early to get the air bnbs ready, ...
I also realized that towards the end, you had suddenly started to listen to different music, got a nose piercing, tattoo, talked about signing up for a sport, working out, ... these were all things I knew you had wanted to do for awhile, but it was all so sudden.
Why didn't you ever communicate... I recall you expressing your concern with my stress, but nothing else. I felt that my stress was reasonable considering everything I was doing.. and knew it was temporary. I didn't ignore it though. I saw a therapist, and started making changes. Was it all too late?
When we finally spoke again, it was so nice to just see you. We sat and you were so friendly and sweet - it reassured me that everything was going to be ok. We made small talk and joked, which immediately lightened the mood. You suggested I spoke first. I expressed my feelings and how important the marriage was.. that I'd so anything to save it. I took responsibility for my side of things and expressed the changes I had made and would continue to make. When you started, you expressed that you would always cherish our time together, but we're set on divorce. That we both deserved to be truly happy. Shortly after, you left.
The days after, you started packing your things while I was at work. I was living in a big empty house, every day getting more and more empty. I was a complete mess living in hell. Her family started to reach out to me and shower me with support, apologies, and disbelief. No one could make sense of this.
After a week or so, I couldn't take it any more, so I moved to stay with my parents while we finished moving out. I attempted to stay cordile through all this. You seemed so unphased and happy... texting me and talking to me like we were still best friends.
You explained that you felt bad for saying you never loved me... that you did, but not in the way a wife should love their husband. That it could be years, but in the future, I could count on you.
As time went on, and the pain increased, I was more distant. You texted more and more. Finally, I suggested that we limit communication unless she was interested in working on our marriage.
As the days went by, you grew colder and irritated.. I started to feel like the bad guy. I know you started to feel the weight of your decisons, and starred to project onto me. Making me the bad guy made you feel better. I attempted to end things on a good note... being helpful throughout the move out process, but you were so cold. It hurt so much... 5 wonderful years tossed aside like it never mattered.
I havent talked to you in weeks... I miss my best friend, my love, your family, our pets, and the wonderful life we built. I'm left trying to pickup the pieces. I feel so lost, confused, broken, ...
The tremendous amount of support I've gotten from both sides has helped a lot. I'm seeing a therapist, reading a lot, eating more, working out, and focusing on my self. The days are getting better, but I still have days where I am a mess.
I havent been sleeping well... always tired. Waking up several times, terrible nightmares and thoughts of you being with another man... I still have believe you would be capable of all this.. of hurting me so much.
I have urges to reach out to you... wanting to fix this, that there must be a misunderstanding... there are so many things I'd like to say. I got complacent and comfortable during our time together. I stopped doing the little things as often as I used to... I never meant to hurt you, make you feel lonely, unloved, unappreciated, ... whatever it is you felt. It's difficult for me to accept that my sweet innocent wife was capable of this... surely there was a reason?? I was just so caught up in my list of things... I was working so hard for our future.
I feel like my wife was manipulated by this man... why does an older doctor (20 years older) have a lesbian wife? He doesn't love her like she seems to think... he is using her. I feel sorry for her... I know there is no future there.
I've done a lot of reading on Attachment Styles, Limerence, love addiction, and other things that come as a result of childhood trauma. I feel like a lot of this has to do with her trauma... but also her selfishness and emotional immaturity. There is nothing I can do. I just pray she figures things out on her own, finds longlasting happiness, and puts an end to this cycle.
I would love it if we were able to reconnect in the future... I still deeply love and care for her. I don't want our story to end... none of this feels right. My gut is screaming that this is all wrong. I just know we both need to work on ourselves for the time being.
One day I had it all, the next, it crashed down before my eyes. Meeting you was the best thing to happen to me... you leaving was the worst. You rushed out of my life so quickly... I wish things were different.
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2024.05.21 18:41 Kangaloosh Anyone have a list of things you do to a new machine? Care to share the list or just things from memory?

Anyone care to share things you do when setting up a new PC?
Any commands / scripts you care to share? Doing these things manually is getting to be a chore : )
Things I do: anyone take issue with any of these? I deal with small business users that don't need or want clutter. They use the basics at the most. This is for win 11:
And there's questions in here marked by >>>
Show file extensions - on install Chrome Set chrome as default browser
Do you set the file types like xht, xhtml, svg from edge to chrome? Do you set a default for shtml, webp, etc? Chrome or Edge? Install Acrobat reader Install Syncro RMM Remove Microsoft onedrive uninstall - outlook new, office, store, xbox, linked in, to do, spotify, linked in, etc. Remove from pinned - most everything else Uninstall from Start menu - feedback hub, microsoft news, microsoft teams (personal), movies & TV, Want to uninstall but can't: game bar, get help, get started, phone link, windows backup Turn off Task View Turn off copilot Turn off Widgets Set taskbar aligment to left Add Chrome to taskbar Install m365 office Add excel, Word, outlook shortcuts to taskbar Activate Office Set up onedrive Install ShadowProtect Configure Shadowprotect
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2024.05.21 18:38 arckadventure Wake Me Up From This Nightmare

I had a wonderful childhood. I couldn't have asked for a better one. My parents, brother, family, ... so much love in my life.
As I got older, I started to become exposed to the harsh realities of life. The people closest to me and the ones I loved the most started to get sick and pass away. I lost my dog. Life wasnt the same. And later, was diagnosed with Crohns which had a massive impact on my life and self confidence. I felt like a lab rat.. so many tests, doctor visits, medicine, diets, needles, ... eventually extensive surgery.
Luckily, after years of torture, I made it out ok. I started to build back my confidence, and was optimistic about the future. Before I knew it, I met the love of my life. I felt so extremely lucky to have you in my life. It felt like a dream. I felt that after all that pain and loss, I had finally had something good happen to me.
As time we on, we became best friends. You confessed your love to me, said I was different than all the rest, and you saw a future with me. You expressed how special I was to you. I felt the same way.
We met eachothers families, who became so close with eachother. I truly loved your family, they felt like home. My family loved you so much... my parents loved you like a daughter, and I knew you loved them too. We had everyone's support and love. We were the golden couple. We grew and experiences so much together. Bought our first house, saw the world, new jobs, school, ... Everyone was so proud of us, and we were proud of eachother.
Somewhere along the way, you started seeking outside the relationship for attention. I knew you were very social, so at first, I was happy to see you making friends. I knew you had a difficult childhood and past, and didn't have many good friends, so I was very supportive and encouraged you to do things with your friends.
We were inseparable. Always going things together, planning trips, going on adventures. Everything was easy. We enjoyed eachothers company so much. We made eachother laugh, feel loved, and safe. We were so comfortable and open, goofy with eachother, and always so intimate.
We shared a lot of the same hobbies: plants/garden, camping, trails, video games, movies, travel, outdoors, relaxing at home, ... it didn't seem to matter what we were doing, we were happy together.
I loved making you smile and laugh. I loved seeing you happy doing what you loved, or eating a meal I'd prepare for you.
I always wanted you to have the best. Since you were in school, I provided for you. Food, toys, restaurants, trips, ... whatever you wanted. I wanted to give you the world. It felt so good to make you happy.
You would tease me and hint towards wanting to get engaged. After 3 years, it happened. We were so happy, and you were so excited and happy to share the big news. We started planning our wedding, moved into a bigger house, new jobs, everything felt good.
I never expected to love someone so much. This young woman brought so much love, happiness, and adventure into my life. She completed changed everything. Everything was so easy.. effortless.. felt right.
When we moved into your dream home, things became more stressful. The house needed a lot of work, as well as the property. Regardless, we were willing and eager to tackle projects together and were excited to make things our own.
As time went on, and school/work seemed to become more stressful for you, I was left finishing a lot of our projects and maintaining them by myself. I also stepped up and started trying to take on more of the chores and responsibilities so that you could focus on school/work and still have time to relax. I was happy to help give you some relief.
After a few months, your brother asked to be our roommate for a time. I was hesitant, but you encouraged me that it would be a good thing. He would pay and help around the house. At first, it was nice. However, as time we on, it became more and more stressful.
The stress of doing everything and having a roommate that didn't mesh well with us overwhelmed me. I knew it was temporary, so I endured it.
One day, you came home from your new job and expressed what a good day you had.. that you had the chance to work with a different doctor, and that he was very fun and nice. I was so happy to hear it, since I knew you hadn't been having good days and people had been difficult. I was glad you seemed to have a mentor.
You started to have more good days than bad, working with this person more and more. You started talking to me about them more, sharing things you learned and talked with him about. As time went on, I started to feel a bit jealous. You had been spending more time with this person than me... your shifts were long, and I hadn't been seeing you as much. You started even talking to our parents about this person.
I started to notice you texting him while we were at home together. I'd ask, and you'd happily share whatever it was you guys were talking about. One evening, you were texting this doctor late at night. I approached you about this, and expressed how it was making me feel. I felt that it had started to become too much, and wasn't appropriate. I didn't like the idea of this older married man communicating with my young fiance so much. I expressed that I was happy that you had a friend at work, but felt that it was becoming too personal and inappropriate. You tried to reassure me that you were just friends, and that he was old and married, you would never be attracted to him. I stood firm and expressed that I would like for you to only communicate while at work, or for work related matters. You agreed and assured me it was nothing.
As time went on, I noticed you would sometimes hide your phone, turn it away, flip it upside down, or turn it off as I walked by. At first, I thought it was just me being paranoid. But as time went on, it started to mess with my head... otherwise, everything was good, so I told myself it was nothing. You started to enjoy that type of work and decided to join his practice. I was happy you were able to make up your mind and find something you enjoyed. Time went on. At some point, you needed an invasive procedure done... and you requested that doctor complete it. I didn't love the idea, but you preferred to have someone do it that you trusted. After that, the doctor seemed to be a thing of the past.
As the wedding date approached, the excitement increased. We had everything planned out and we were so excited for our big day. I saw how happy you were throughout the whole process. I couldn't believe our big day was right around the corner.
Our wedding was like a dream. Everything came together so nicely. We had the best night of our lives. I loved seeing you so happy with our friends and family there to celebrate with us. We went on a wonderful honeymoon and I felt so loved and appreciated.
Once we returned home, our roommate left, and stress started to decrease dramatically in the house. I was so relieved. You finished school, graduated, and I threw you a big surprise party to celebrate. I had always put together parties for all your special occasions, and I knew you really appreciated that. After so many nights helping you study, it felt wonderful to see you walk across that stage and finally finish.
You shortly after moved to a different hospital, and seemed to really like your new job and everyone there. Life was so good...
The house and our list of responsibilities and all the maintenance was still a lot, but I felt we were quickly starting to knock things off our list.
One week, you started working a lot... I hardly saw you that week. We'd always text and check in, saying we loved eachother, missed eachother, and looked forward to seeing eachother. When the weekend finally arrived, you had mentioned your best friend invited you to join her for girl time. I realized you hadn't seen her much lately and encouraged it.
That weekend, my grandmother had been struggling. I felt alone in our big house and had wished you were there. We checked in on eachother while you were gone. I was expecting you to return one evening, so I had dinner prepared. I was hurt when you didn't arrive and decided to stay another night with your friend.
When I saw you the next morning, I was feeling pretty down. I was already sad about my grandmother, but also felt like an after thought that week. You were so happy to see me, which was nice. We had a nice evening, spent time together, .. you never stopped telling me you loved me.
The next day after work, I got home, and you seemed so cold and distant. You seemed bothered by something. I checked in, asked if you needed anything, then went about my day. It seemed like you wanted space. I checked in every few hours, and you were busy doing something on your laptop.
I prepared dinner and started watching TV. I encouraged you to take a break, eat, and relax some before bed. You joined me on the couch, but was quiet and explained that you had some work to finish.
As it got late, I went up to bed. You explained you'd be up a little longer while you finished your work. As the hours went by, I thought it was so odd that you weren't in bed yet. I knew you had to get up early... sleep was always such a priority. I got up to check on you and to get some water. You were still on your laptop.. I noticed you were looking at rooms to something. I encouraged you to get some sleep. You joined me, looking exhausted.
We cuddled, said we loved eachother, then fell asleep. The next morning, I finished getting ready for work while you slept. As I was getting ready to leave, I sae your laptop. I decided to check and see what you were looking at... another air bnb for a trip? I was curious. We shared the laptop, so I didn't feel like I was invading her privacy.
I opened the laptop and saw apartments. I was so confused. I checker her email.. apartments. I noticed she had Facebook messenger up with recent messages. I checked... my world turned upside down. Those seconds felt like eternity as my heart sounded and my stomach sank. I read a message to a friend saying she wanted a divorce, never loved me, felt like a stranger in her house, dreaded coming home to me, ... that she loved a doctor.. he's married, but his wife is a lesbian. That was easily the worst moment of my life. I panicked and didn't know what to do... I was in shock. After a few minutes, I decided to address this with you.
I quietly walked up the stairs, sat on the edge of the bed, and calmly woke you up. You were sleepy, asking why I woke up.. you still had about 30m before work. I apologized for waking you.. As I looked at you silently, I started to cry. I quietly said "I know...". "I saw the messages". She looked back at me in shock.. eyes wide in the dark. I asked if she had been having an affair. She said no.. then started to look at me as if I wad a stranger. It was a terrible feeling.
You got up to get ready for work, and said we'd talk later that evening. You left. I was standing in the driveway and felt sick. I wasn't sure if I could make it to work.. but being at the house was making me feel worse, so I left. I didn't eat anything that while day. While at work, I prepared myself for our talk.
When we both got home, you pulled up to the house and started to pack some things while I sat on the couch. When you finally joined me, you were quiet.. asked about my day, I asked about yours.. then more silence. I asked what you needed from me. You explained that you were feeling very anxious, and didn't want me to get upset. You said you were going to stay with a friend for a few days to clear your head and wanted to talk once we were both rested.
You left for almost a week while I stayed in our big empty house, taking care of our pets, and completely confused and dead inside. I hardly ate or slept. I desperately started reading and watching whatever information I could find to help explain what was happening and to prepare myself. I spent most of my time thinking, reflecting on our life. I started tonrealize how stressed I had been... and thought about all the things I should/could have done differently. I knew I treated her so well, but no one is perfect.
Looking back, I started to think about all the red flags. Love is blind. I truly loved, trusted, and cared for this person more than anyone in the world. I thought she felt the same way... I never imagined us seperating.
I started to think of that doctor she used to talk about.. and realized she probably never stopped talking to him. I started to realize that my wife had stopped opening up to me... was no longer emotional or vulnerable... her emotional? affair started to kill the emotional intimacy between us.
I was happy just to have her in my life and enjoyed just being with her... she never expressed or talked about being unhappy... if I had known, I feel certain that we could have fixed whatever was lacking. I would have met whichever needs werent being met.
Were you lonely while I was busy working hard for us? Was she bored? I would have happily planned more outings... whenever I suggested something, you expressed that you were tired or didn't show interest. I knew you enjoyed time alone, so I never felt bad doing my own thing. I figured you would tell me of you needed or felt something...
I was so confused... started to question what was real. When did this all start? Why? How? Terrible thoughts entered my mind... so many late shifts, staying the night at the hospital, leaving early to get the air bnbs ready, ...
I also realized that towards the end, you had suddenly started to listen to different music, got a nose piercing, tattoo, talked about signing up for a sport, working out, ... these were all things I knew you had wanted to do for awhile, but it was all so sudden.
Why didn't you ever communicate... I recall you expressing your concern with my stress, but nothing else. I felt that my stress was reasonable considering everything I was doing.. and knew it was temporary. I didn't ignore it though. I saw a therapist, and started making changes. Was it all too late?
When we finally spoke again, it was so nice to just see you. We sat and you were so friendly and sweet - it reassured me that everything was going to be ok. We made small talk and joked, which immediately lightened the mood. You suggested I spoke first. I expressed my feelings and how important the marriage was.. that I'd so anything to save it. I took responsibility for my side of things and expressed the changes I had made and would continue to make. When you started, you expressed that you would always cherish our time together, but we're set on divorce. That we both deserved to be truly happy. Shortly after, you left.
The days after, you started packing your things while I was at work. I was living in a big empty house, every day getting more and more empty. I was a complete mess living in hell. Her family started to reach out to me and shower me with support, apologies, and disbelief. No one could make sense of this.
After a week or so, I couldn't take it any more, so I moved to stay with my parents while we finished moving out. I attempted to stay cordile through all this. You seemed so unphased and happy... texting me and talking to me like we were still best friends.
You explained that you felt bad for saying you never loved me... that you did, but not in the way a wife should love their husband. That it could be years, but in the future, I could count on you.
As time went on, and the pain increased, I was more distant. You texted more and more. Finally, I suggested that we limit communication unless she was interested in working on our marriage.
As the days went by, you grew colder and irritated.. I started to feel like the bad guy. I know you started to feel the weight of your decisons, and starred to project onto me. Making me the bad guy made you feel better. I attempted to end things on a good note... being helpful throughout the move out process, but you were so cold. It hurt so much... 5 wonderful years tossed aside like it never mattered.
I havent talked to you in weeks... I miss my best friend, my love, your family, our pets, and the wonderful life we built. I'm left trying to pickup the pieces. I feel so lost, confused, broken, ...
The tremendous amount of support I've gotten from both sides has helped a lot. I'm seeing a therapist, reading a lot, eating more, working out, and focusing on my self. The days are getting better, but I still have days where I am a mess.
I havent been sleeping well... always tired. Waking up several times, terrible nightmares and thoughts of you being with another man... I still have believe you would be capable of all this.. of hurting me so much.
I have urges to reach out to you... wanting to fix this, that there must be a misunderstanding... there are so many things I'd like to say. I got complacent and comfortable during our time together. I stopped doing the little things as often as I used to... I never meant to hurt you, make you feel lonely, unloved, unappreciated, ... whatever it is you felt. It's difficult for me to accept that my sweet innocent wife was capable of this... surely there was a reason?? I was just so caught up in my list of things... I was working so hard for our future.
I feel like my wife was manipulated by this man... why does an older doctor (20 years older) have a lesbian wife? He doesn't love her like she seems to think... he is using her. I feel sorry for her... I know there is no future there.
I've done a lot of reading on Attachment Styles, Limerence, love addiction, and other things that come as a result of childhood trauma. I feel like a lot of this has to do with her trauma... but also her selfishness and emotional immaturity. There is nothing I can do. I just pray she figures things out on her own, finds longlasting happiness, and puts an end to this cycle.
I would love it if we were able to reconnect in the future... I still deeply love and care for her. I don't want our story to end... none of this feels right. My gut is screaming that this is all wrong. I just know we both need to work on ourselves for the time being.
One day I had it all, the next, it crashed down before my eyes. Meeting you was the best thing to happen to me... you leaving was the worst. You rushed out of my life so quickly... I wish things were different.
submitted by arckadventure to Infidelity [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 18:36 MakersOnTheRock [UPDATE 3.0] My wife cheated on me with my son's Baseball coach

Shew, where to start...
well first off, I did it. I officially filed for divorce. She has less than two weeks to respond.
Quite literally the hardest decision I've ever had to make and to be 100% honest, I still don't want to, but I know that it will be what's best for me, my soul, my anxiety and my mind.
Over the past month we'd have good days and bad days. tension was always high, and it turns out she still kept lying about him.
I got a hold of her phone again and she had shared locations on snap with him, and when we were supposedly trying to make it work she wouldn't even share that with me, her husband. And I had asked. (oh and she changed his name in SnapChat so I wouldn't know it was him. Multi levels of deception. She also had changed his name in her contacts to throw me off. sucks for her I know tech well, and am a bit smarter and clever than the average bear)
On her Birthday, we weren't getting along, so she chose to go spend time with him in the evening while I hung out with out kids. (didn't tell me, found out by searching her phone for his name)
That same day, she had been texting her BFF and literally told her I was being annoying and said 'why don't you just divorce me?!' to her regarding me.
In arguments, she'd text me to divorce her because I would express how I was unhappy and am struggling trusting her because she's been so shady.
Everything from blocking me on Snapchat (because she didn't want to see my snaps was her reason) to a crazy phone screen cover, to changing the lock code on our car. (Both names are on it, but it's primarily hers)
just really odd shit and then would also try to love bomb me and have me just go along with everything and be a good family man.
More recently, on my birthday I made the poor decision to go out with her, absolutely we had a lovely time till something triggered me and her affair came up, and we started arguing.
It escalated up to the point where I was recording her on my phone as she was going nuts, and she straight up hit me in the side of my head, knocked my phone to the ground and we tussled over my phone. (all recorded)
She called the police, no charges pressed and I was told to sleep upstairs, which I did willingly.
the next day, she filed a protective order against me and I couldn't reach out to or see the kids (or her, which was a ok) for a week. I couldn't even be in my own home. She did have the kids call me everyday which was very nice.
During that week, my lawyers convinced me the best thing to do, especially for custodial reasons was to file as it supercedes the restraining order, so I did.
At the court hearing she was served, and knew it was coming the night before as her friend is an officer and it's public record.
In front of the judge, she said that I was no threat to her or our children and that Im a great father. She also stated that I'm allowed to freely come and go at the house and anywhere else I chose as I'm not a threat and she wants me to see and be with the kids. it's in the transcript, so I'll use that in the custody battle. (we will and have talked about 50/50, but it's good to have in case)
So the judge basically said that this was all a waste of time and now because the restraining order has to be extended till we divorce, it's all null except that I'm not allowed to threaten her. (not like I ever have, or would ever do.)
I've moved to a family home which has room for me and the kiddos (they have their own room and beds, as well as toys books and everything else they could possibly need at this home) and we're splitting time with them.
She expected me to make the AM 40 min commute to watch the kids by 730 so she can get to work, but I've made it very clear that if we have them overnight, we take care of the ams regardless where the kids are. She fought that for a bit, but I showed her I have a Pendete Lite order ready to go, and I could just take the main house 50% of the time and displace her, and she calmed down.
So that's about it with an update. She's trying to win me back again, but I've now caught her 4 times going back to him so I can't giver her another chance. I want to, but I know I can't. I can't trust her.
it's the hardest thing in the world. I break down crying randomly, I and am terrified about the future and how it will all work out, I hate that she chose him over me, and tries to win me back. Telling me how much this is hurting her and all that jazz and it's like...
well maybe you shouldn't have had a fucking yearlong affair! An affair that was first discovered by an 'i love you more' text. Maybe you shouldn't have given my engagement/wedding right back TWICE.
YOU CHOSE HIM.
A one time thing I could have recovered from and forgiven, but to go back time after time after time after time and hid it all and did all the things I know she did...
Ugh. It's too much. I'm choosing to break up our beautiful little family and it kills me.
however, I have to stand up for myself and I know I could never trust her again.
She keeps asking for time to heal, but she keeps going back and getting mad at me for bringing her affair up when we bicker.
I can't help myself. That mother fucker lives rent free in my head all the time and almost everything reminds me of her infidelity.
She chose him over me, and now will suffer the consequences. It just sucks because I'm suffering greatly too.
don't get married folks.
I'm sure more will come to me, but I'm just having a hard time and needed to type this all out and get it out of my head.
thanks for reading my wall of text, and I appreciate all the support over the past few months.
submitted by MakersOnTheRock to survivinginfidelity [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 18:20 Old-Machine-9154 The Office's Steve Carell Lands TV Comeback Role

The Office's Steve Carell Lands TV Comeback Role submitted by Old-Machine-9154 to theoffice [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 18:17 ChartCautious9861 It’s been over a year. Contact NALC and let them know your thoughts.

It’s been over a year. Contact NALC and let them know your thoughts.
Annoy them like you would your local congressman
submitted by ChartCautious9861 to fromatoarbitration [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 17:45 ConsciousRun6137 Oswell E. Spencer; Resident Evil, Based On Real EL-ites

Oswell E. Spencer; Resident Evil, Based On Real EL-ites
There's nothing new under the Sun, & no coincidences in such things that follow;
Oswell E. Spencer
Coat of Arms
"I was to become a god... creating a new world with an advanced race of human beings."
Dr. Oswell E. Spencer, Earl Spencer (c.1923-2006) was an aristocratic British billionaire, virologist and eugenicist. One of the founders of Umbrella Pharmaceuticals, Lord Spencer was the CEO and President for its entire existence, which saw its expansion as the Umbrella Corporation over the 1980s as well as its bankruptcy in 2003.
A cold, ruthless elitist and ambitious individual, Spencer mercilessly eliminated his rivals and gradually increased his power within the company, which he strictly controlled behind a veil of darkness. Spencer had a vision to remake the world and lead it into a new era, seeing the world's current state as self-destructive. He intended to use the research data accumulated from Bio Organic Weapons to carry his vision out and mould a utopia for mankind with himself as its ruler.
Spencer was born into the prestigious Spencer family, considered for generations to be among the European elite. Growing up in his family's castle overlooking a cliff on the British coastline, the young heir to the Spencer fortune was given a wide-ranging education, and developed hobbies of art collecting and hunting as befitting of his status. Among his studies were classic literature, Early Modern humanist treatises, and the mid-20th century eugenics movement. His personal favourite was the Natural History Conspectus, a rare late Victorian encyclopaedia which chronicled a 34-year trek through Africa by British explorer Henry Travis. During Spencer's teenage years, Europe was plunged into the Second World War. Nothing is known of Spencer's life during this period of time, including whether or not he avoided conscription, though it is known his experience living during the war helped form his world views.
By the 1950s, Spencer was a university student training to be a physician. There he became close friends with Edward Ashford and an older student, Dr. James Marcus. While taking a solo hiking trip in Eastern Europe, he became lost due to his inexperience in the unfamiliar terrain and collapsed on a snow-covered road. There, he was rescued by Miranda, the priestess and biologist of an isolated mountain village which worshipped the Black God. Taken in by Miranda as a protégé, Spencer learned about the Mold and its ability to mutate, assimilate and replicate lifeforms, which inspired him a means to achieve evolutionist goals. Although he enjoyed his time with Miranda and the vast biological knowledge he gained from her, the two held very different world views, as Miranda longed to revive her deceased daughter while Spencer wished to change the world. Consequently, Spencer decided to leave the village, but would continue to keep in touch with Miranda by writing to her.
Returning to his university a changed man, Spencer became driven to replicate Miranda's achievements in his own way, as he deemed the Mold ineffective to achieving his goals. With the Cold War intensifying, Spencer began to view humanity as a race destined to fall, and believed that only through evolving mankind and attaining a superior moral code could this be averted. Though he lacked a means to accomplish this, he believed the answer lay within the emerging field of virology. Soon, Spencer formed a eugenics circle of likeminded scientists, including Marcus and Ashford, as well as Lord Beardsley and Lord Henry.

Founding of Umbrella (1966-68)

At the start of 1966, Spencer became engrossed once more in the Natural History Conspectus, having recalled an account about the Ndipaya, a West African tribe of skilled engineers whose rituals involved a magical flower which granted great power to those who could survive its poison. While Spencer was initially treated with appropriate scepticism due to allegations of yellow journalism on behalf of Travis, Marcus hypothesized that a virus could be naturally produced by the flower and mutate the consumer. This virus would theoretically hold great promise in eugenics, interesting the circle. In order to disprove or confirm the flower's significance, the three organized an expedition to West Africa to find it. While Spencer's involvement is uncertain, Marcus travelled to West Africa on a several month search for the Ndipaya with his protégé, Brandon Bailey, and returned by February 1967 with proof of the virus' existence, having isolated it within the Sonnentreppe flowers growing in the ruins of the Garden of the Sun.
Soon after research began on the virus, the Swiss university that Marcus worked for ostracized him following allegations of falsified data, which itself led to the cessation of government grants to his projects.\13]) Spencer used this to his advantage and employed his charitable Spencer Foundation as a means of funding Marcus' research, on the condition that he operate within the Spencer Estate's lab and avoid contact with any scientist outside their circle. Understanding the foundation would not be able to fund the project in its entirety, Spencer approached the circle in March 1967 with a suggestion that they establish a pharmaceutical company in order to raise the necessary funds. Ashford and Marcus agreed to the project, despite an overall disinterest with Henry and Beardsley joining.
Shortly afterward, Spencer informed his old teacher Miranda of the discovery of the Progenitor Virus, and decided to use the symbol that connected the Four Houses in her village as his company logo.
Toward the end of the year, work concluded on a mansion built on Spencer's behalf in the Arklay Mountains, a massif in the American Midwest. The mansion itself was built atop limestone caverns which Spencer planned to use for the construction of an underground laboratory complex that would be hidden from public view. The biggest flaw in this construction project was that he chose a famous New York architect named George Trevor, known for surreal designs Spencer admired, to build it. Upon its completion, Spencer realized that Trevor knew all of the mansion's secrets, including the existence of an underground laboratory, and panicked. Spencer quickly made plans to dispose of Trevor, so that only he and his inner circle would know of the lab's existence. In November 1967, Spencer invited the entire Trevor family, including George, his wife Jessica, and 14-year-old daughter Lisa to the house to celebrate the completion of the mansion. Unbeknownst to the Trevor family, Spencer planned to use them all as test subjects in his Progenitor research. Due to a busy workload, George could not attend, but told Jessica and Lisa that he would join them at the house later. As soon as the two arrived on November 10, they were dragged away by Spencer's employees and taken into the underground caverns as human research subjects for the Progenitor Virus. Jessica died soon after infection, though Lisa survived with mutations. As George arrived at the mansion, he was captured just the same, but escaped from his room. He eventually fell victim to one of his own traps and died. Lisa was kept as a test subject and would finally die in 1998.
At some point in the late 1960s, Spencer worked with another scientist who shared his eugenics ideals, Dr. Wesker. Believing that Progenitor would only be useful to mankind if they could be trusted with its powers, Spencer concluded that the genetically superior humans had to share his values to become the Übermenschen. Umbrella began abducting children with superior genes and intellect from around the world and raising them with access to the finest education that money could buy. Upon reaching adulthood, Umbrella would determine the cream of the crop and infect them. This highly classified project was dubbed the "Wesker Project", in the name of its leader.
With Umbrella established, Spencer became increasingly paranoid that his friends would threaten his own eugenics project which he intended to steer towards making him a god in the new world order. Although he already controlled the project by 1967 when he secured Marcus' research, Spencer's paranoia escalated in 1968 while running Umbrella Pharmaceuticals. To procure more funding for their eugenics project, Umbrella entered a secret agreement with the United States military to produce biological weaponry and began further projects to create mutant virus strains for military use. The Umbrella founders each worked separately on what they dubbed the "t-Virus Project". Rather than perform his own research, Spencer left the Arklay Laboratory under the control of trusted executives and further worked with Lord Beardsley and Lord Henry. Marcus and Bailey continued to work on their own while Ashford worked alongside his son, Alexander, at their European home.
With Progenitor cultures becoming too limited in number for large-scale research on the t-Virus Project, it became clear that Marcus and Bailey would have to travel to West Africa and secure more. Unlike the previous trek, Spencer instead hired mercenaries to force the Ndipaya off their land and secure the Garden of the Sun for Umbrella's own exclusive use. When news reached them about this success, Bailey was sent alone to cultivate the Progenitor samples at a lab built there, isolating him from Marcus. Marcus himself was given his own laboratory in the Arklay Mountains close to Spencer's own. The Umbrella Executive Training School served a dual role as both a laboratory for the t-Virus Project and as a boarding school for gifted children headhunted by the Spencer Foundation as promising new executive-scientists. The first true victim of Spencer's paranoia was Ashford, who would die from exposure to his primitive t-Virus strain in a staged lab accident. While his son Alexander was a scientist, he was trained in genetics rather than virology, and was consequently unable to continue his father's work. This left only Marcus as the main competitor to Spencer, and so efforts were taken to steal Marcus' data for the benefit of Arklay's Laboratory.

Securing of Power (1977-98)

In 1977, the Spencer Foundation headhunted Albert Wesker for a job at Umbrella after he acquired a doctorate in virology at just age 17. Sent to the executive training school, Spencer ensured that Wesker and a fellow student, William Birkin, would abuse Marcus' trust in them and steal his research data. At the end of the school year, Spencer ordered the school and lab to be shut down, cutting Marcus off from his research staff and the children he used as test-subjects. Wesker and Birkin were immediately assigned to the Arklay Laboratory to take over as its chief researchers and used their knowledge of Marcus' research to drastically alter the Arklay Laboratory's own t-Virus project.
Despite Spencer's near-total control over Umbrella, his paranoia continued to find new victims as Umbrella expanded to the point of possessing its own paramilitary, the Umbrella Security Service. Marcus continued to perform his own dedicated research into the late 1980s, hoping to use this to his advantage in securing the support of the board of directors in taking over the company. With Marcus now an immediate threat, Spencer ordered a U.S.S. raid on the training school and he was gunned down in 1988 with Birkin and Wesker in order to steal more research data. That same year, he personally backed their proposals in acquiring a Nemesis α parasite from France's No.6 Laboratory. As Umbrella entered the 1990s, Spencer continued to take a direct role in the company's affairs despite his advancing age and confinement to a wheelchair. Beardley and Henry would both perish over the next decade with their research inherited by their respective children, Mylène and Christine, both of whom were child prodigies.
Deeply interested in the newly discovered Golgotha Virus, which was being studied by Birkin and Christine in France, Spencer funded a new NEST facility in Raccoon City for the G-Virus Project. Although intrigued by the virus' potential use in eugenics, it was instead funded as another bio-weapon project for the US military. An alternative eugenics project was assigned to Dr. Alex Wesker, one of the Wesker Project subjects who Spencer became personally close to. Spencer awarded her with greater executive power through the construction of a laboratory at Sonido de Tortuga. He also developed a close relationship with Col. Sergei Vladimir, a Spetznaz officer whom the Soviet Union had used in a human cloning trial during the Afghan War. In exchange for handing his ten clones over for research on the fledgling Tyrant Project, Vladimir became a powerful asset in protecting Spencer's control over the company.

End of Umbrella (1998-2003)

In May 1998, the Arklay Laboratory was sabotaged by one of Dr. Marcus' creations, Queen Leech. Its entire staff was either killed or infected, and escaped B.O.W.s drew national attention in their killings of out-of-state hikers. As part of the X-Day contingency, Albert Wesker sent two elite law enforcement teams from S.T.A.R.S. to the mansion to investigate. However, unbeknownst to these S.T.A.R.S. officers, they were deliberately pitted against Arklay's escaped B.O.Ws for the purpose of collecting combat data. Wesker's own orders were fourfold: gather this combat data, salvage whatever research he could from the Arklay Lab, ensure the death of all S.T.A.R.S. members, and destroy the lab so the truth of Umbrella's responsibility could never get out. Spencer's right-hand man, Colonel Sergei Vladimir, was also sent in personally for the task of recovering an experimental Tyrant and Umbrella's U.M.F.-013 supercomputer. While Vladimir was successful, Wesker instead chose to fake his own death and hand the data over to a rival company, while several S.T.A.R.S. members escaped from the mansion intent on beginning a police investigation of Umbrella.
In the immediate fallout, an executive named Morpheus D. Duvall was scapegoated for the containment failure and began a bioterror plot to steal the viral samples in vengeance. Publicly, the so-called "Mansion Incident" did not harm Umbrella, thanks to its influence over the local Raccoon City media, police, and local government. However, a combination of this incident, Albert Wesker's betrayal, and Spencer's own refusal to admit Dr. Birkin to his inner circle would be the trigger for Umbrella's downward spiral. Dr. Birkin, slighted by Spencer's rejection, dumped the t-Virus around Raccoon City in order to neutralize the other Umbrella facilities while he himself prepared to hand the G-Virus over to the US military, who were intent on starting their own bioweapons project, in exchange for protection. Spencer learned of Birkin's planned betrayal and sent Umbrella Security Services to take Birkin into custody and acquire the G-Virus. When Birkin refused to comply, an Umbrella soldier gunned him down and the team proceeded to take his suitcase, which contained all of his work, with them. However, the fatally wounded Birkin still had one G-Virus sample left in his possession and used it on himself, mutating into a powerful monster in the process. The now mutated Dr. Birkin pursued Umbrella's soldiers into the sewers and slaughtered most of them, although HUNK survived. This altercation accidentally caused several t-Virus samples to fall to the floor and break, and infected rats would soon spread the virus into the city's water supply. Over the next week, the city collapsed into anarchy as thousands of infected took part in cannibalistic murders.
Aware that Raccoon City was doomed and the company no longer capable of lobbying against a Senate committee action, Spencer ordered Colonel Sergei Vladimir to recover the U.M.F.-013 from Raccoon City and take it to a safe location. On October 1, 1998, Spencer awoke to news of the US President's bombing of the city. By this point, Umbrella's responsibility had become public knowledge, and the US Congress voted in an act to liquidate Umbrella's USA branch and ban the company from conducting any future business in the country. In 1999, Spencer assembled expert lawyers, fake witnesses, and bribes during the Raccoon Trials to divert all responsibility to the US government. He also purchased an abandoned chemical plant in the Caucasus region of Southern Russia and commissioned the construction of a secret underground laboratory, which would become the de facto base of operations for Umbrella. Unwilling to acknowledge their breaching of international law to obtain bioweaponry or even acknowledge B.O.W.s in general, the US government remained in a stalemate with Umbrella. This stalemate ended in early 2003 when Albert Wesker leaked excerpts of the recovered U.M.F.-013 data to the court. Umbrella was found liable for damages and subsequently bankrupted. An international arrest warrant on Spencer was filed by both the United States and Russian Federation. Spencer, now an international fugitive, secluded himself in his family estate where he would spend the remaining years of his life.

Final Years (2003-2006)

Intent on establishing a future successor to Umbrella, Spencer was obsessive in maintaining what little order he had left. Right after the Raccoon City bombing in November 1998, he ordered a purge of senior executive staff to prevent the United States from ever learning about Progenitor.
Over the next few years, he had little to no contact with the outside, seen only by his loyalist bodyguards and his butler, Patrick. His increasingly erratic behavior coincided with his depression and failing health. However, intent on surviving long enough to see the rebirth of his organization, Spencer ordered Alex Wesker to begin research into a mutagenic virus capable of restoring his youth and supplied her with funding, equipment, research material, several hundred test subjects, and the research facility on Sonido de Tortuga Island to this end. Alex herself had no love for Spencer and betrayed him, disappearing after she gave up on the project and taking the results, her subordinates, and the test subjects to Sein Island in the Baltic Sea.
By 2006, Spencer was close to death. He lacked the strength to eat solid foods and spent most of his days sitting in his study. In a desperate last effort to survive, he ordered Patrick to assist him in the development of a new virus by using test subjects confined beneath the Spencer Estate in the hopes of healing his body. As these experiments led to several failed mutations, Spencer realized that his death was inevitable. He conceded that he would never realize his plan himself and enlisted Patrick to leak information on his location to Albert Wesker through an associate. Spencer then dismissed Patrick from his duties and was left with only his bodyguards at the estate, waiting for Wesker to find him.
In August 2006, Wesker entered the castle and brutally murdered Spencer's guards before heading into Spencer's private office. In their meeting, Spencer explained the Wesker Project to him, and why he himself was infected with a Progenitor virus strain*.* However, Spencer lied when he claimed he was the sole survivor of the Wesker Project, probably in order to keep him focused on his goal and prevent him from pursuing Alex. In general, Wesker was disinterested in Spencer's vision and, while not expecting this frail old man to be much competition to own goals, nevertheless decided to tie him up as a loose end. He brutally killed Spencer by knife-handing him through the chest, proclaiming that Spencer was not capable of being a god and, as such, never had the right to aspire to that goal.
Even before his death, Spencer left a dark legacy through the viral research that he conducted throughout his life that would plague the world with large-scale dissemination of bioterrorism. Due to his negligence in not being able to deal directly with the constant leaks and desertions of his dishonest employees during Umbrella's final years, this allowed them to start selling B.O.W.s to their rivals in the Bio-weapons black market since 1998 which culminated in the proliferation of countless outbreaks around the planet during the first decade of the 21st century, causing the deaths of thousands of people as a result.
Knights of Malta
submitted by ConsciousRun6137 to u/ConsciousRun6137 [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 17:37 0Techtech0 Mother of Madalina Cojocari pleads guilty, stepfather heading to trial

MECKLENBURG COUNTY, N.C. (Court TV) – The mother of a missing North Carolina girl has changed her plea while the child’s stepfather heads to trial.
On Monday, Diana Cojocari pleaded guilty to a charge of failure to report a missing child to law enforcement. Diana’s daughter, Madalina Cojocari, has been missing since Nov. 2022. She was 11 years old when she disappeared.
Diana and her husband, Christopher Palmiter, were arrested two days after Madalina was reported missing to a school resource officer. Madalina was last seen getting off a school bus on Nov. 21. Diana waited nearly one month before reporting the child missing on Dec. 15. At the time of their arrest, both defendants pleaded not guilty.
Madalina Cojocari’s mother pleads guilty to failing to report her disappearance
According to an arrest report, Diana told the SRO she last saw Madalina on Nov. 23 when she went to bed. That same night, Diana and Palmiter got into an argument, “and the next morning, he drove to his family house in Michigan to recover some items.” She noticed Madalina was gone around 11:30 a.m. on Nov. 24.
When Palmiter returned home on Nov. 26, neither claimed to know where Madalina was. According to the report, the couple spoke “several times about Madalina’s whereabouts over the next three weeks,” but neither knew where the child was or contacted police.
The report also states Diana told a detective “she believed her husband put her family in danger but did not know what happened Madalina.”
Last July, unsealed search warrants revealed Diana believed her husband may’ve given Madalina away for money. Diana made the statement during a recorded jail phone call with her mother, during which “the women discuss a bag with money, withdrawing cash, and a theory that Chris gave the girl away for money.”
In Aug., Diana’s mother told WCNC, “My granddaughter is alive, but she’s been kidnapped.” Rodica Cojocari accused Palmiter of selling Diana and Madalina to traffickers for $5 million.
Diana’s guilty plea was not part of a plea deal, according to court documents obtained by Court TV. After pleading guilty, a judge sentenced her to six to 17 months in prison, reported WSOC-TV. Since she has already served 520 days, she is expected to be released soon.
The judge also told Diana she is likely to be deported upon her release. According to WCNC-TV, Diana is from Moldova and is in the country on a green card.
Palmiter’s trial was scheduled to begin Monday but has been delayed while another trial takes place in the courtroom where his case will be tried.
submitted by 0Techtech0 to TrueCrimeDiscussion [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 17:35 fark13 Staff Realtime Systems Rust Engineer - Second Spectrum - United states

Staff Realtime Systems Rust Engineer - Second Spectrum - United states
Second Spectrum is a Sports Emmy-winning data & tech company that is building the next way of seeing sports - by capturing and producing the highest quality data and innovative content for many of the world’s largest leagues and media partners, such as the NFL, NBA, English Premier League, ESPN, Amazon, and CBS Sports. We are pushing the boundaries of deep tech -- machine learning, computer vision, big data, augmented and virtual reality. Our passion for cutting-edge design and decades of experience playing college and professional sports is an equal part of the magic that brings unique and innovative products to life. These products have helped Second Spectrum partners to multiple NBA championships, to win matches on football pitches around the world, to entertain and educate millions of fans on TV and digital. In 2021, Second Spectrum was acquired by Genius Sports, bringing together a unique combination of technological, operational and commercial capabilities. We believe that technology will revolutionize the way that sports are played, coached, and experienced. We're just getting started turning our joint vision of transformative sports technologies into reality. Second Spectrum is the place to be if you’re interested in working on cutting edge technology in sports, alongside incredibly driven and ambitious teammates. Our innovative and dynamic environment emphasizes opportunities for motivated individuals to maximize their growth and impact. The Role - Staff Realtime Systems Rust Engineer Player and ball location tracking is the foundational data layer upon which nearly all Second Spectrum products are built. You will design and develop our real-time tracking systems that deliver tracking for thousands of soccer and basketball games. Specifically, you will
Integrate low-latency algorithms in collaboration with the computer vision, artificial intelligence, and augmentation teams. Develop performative code targeting cutting edge devices both in the cloud and on-premises. Build highly autonomous systems to scale our technology and minimize the need for manual intervention. Collaborate on tools and frameworks that support the developer experience and velocity across the engineering organization.
This role is based in our recently opened, global center, New York City office. Located in midtown Manhattan, amongst the iconic skyline, you'll be immersed in cultural richness that inspires innovation and creativity. Join our team and add your talents to building a hub for all of Genius Sports. Minimum Qualifications
Experience with architecting and benchmarking low-latency, real-time systems Enthusiasm towards framework development and developer experience Embraces learning and mentoring, empowers teammates Ability to excel in a fast-paced, dynamic environment Proven leadership and strong communication skills 10+ years of industry experience Expertise with Rust and/or C++
Preferred Qualifications
Message brokers such as Pulsar, RabbitMQ, ZMQ Message brokers such as Pulsar, RabbitMQ, ZMQ Devops experience with Linux, CMake, DockeEarthly, Kubernetes Familiarity with Nvidia GPUs and CUDA Experience with live event deliverables and on-call support Python, TypeScript, React, GraphQL
Our Work Environment and What You Will Benefit From:
Cutting-edge products to work on for major professional sports leagues and teams. Team-oriented engineering habits and software engineering best practices (readable, maintainable, and efficient code). Flat hierarchy and collaborative management led by experienced and strong technical leads. Innovative and dynamic environment, which encourages self-development and opportunities to make an impact. Multicultural team with employees based across several countries (e.g., Switzerland, Denmark, France, United States). Potential for Equity/Bonus, Flexible working hours, Competitive salary, Medical and dental benefits, 401k match
What’s in it for you? As well as a competitive salary and annual leave allowance, our benefits include health insurance, skills training and much more, depending on the location. We also offer a host of softer benefits, including many social events throughout the year such as summer and winter holiday parties, monthly team building events, sports tournaments, charity days and wellbeing activities. The base salary range for this role is $200,000 – $230,000. There are a number of factors which affect what the specific pay offer would be for this role, including location, seniority, and relevant educational and working experience. This is base salary only – all full-time roles will also be eligible to take part in Second Spectrum benefits and equity plan, and some roles may be eligible to take part in a bonus plan. For more details on the compensation and benefits package, please get in touch with our Talent team. How we work We have adapted a forward-thinking ‘Ways of Working’ framework, which sets out (amongst other things) the opportunities for Second Spectrum to work flexibly, remotely and on working holidays. It affects different teams and locations differently, so please ask for further information on how it would work with this role. Our employees are empowered to stretch the boundaries of what’s achievable, always reaching further and pushing the edges to see what gives. We collaborate, we innovate, and we celebrate. We will continue to grow as an organization and continue to invest in our highly talented and diverse team. Second Spectrum, part of Genius Sports Group, is proud to be an equal opportunities employer. We recognize and celebrate the benefits that a diverse and inclusive workforce bring to our business, our customers and our staff. We welcome and will consider all applications regardless of age, different abilities or disability, gender identity or re-assignment, marriage, pregnancy, maternity, race or nationality, religion or belief, sex and sexual orientation (and any other applicable status). Please let us know when you apply if you need any assistance during the recruiting process due to a disability.
submitted by fark13 to sports_jobs [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 17:35 fark13 Staff Realtime Systems Rust Engineer - Genius Sports - United states

Staff Realtime Systems Rust Engineer - Genius Sports - United states
Second Spectrum is a Sports Emmy-winning data & tech company that is building the next way of seeing sports - by capturing and producing the highest quality data and innovative content for many of the world’s largest leagues and media partners, such as the NFL, NBA, English Premier League, ESPN, Amazon, and CBS Sports. We are pushing the boundaries of deep tech -- machine learning, computer vision, big data, augmented and virtual reality. Our passion for cutting-edge design and decades of experience playing college and professional sports is an equal part of the magic that brings unique and innovative products to life. These products have helped Second Spectrum partners to multiple NBA championships, to win matches on football pitches around the world, to entertain and educate millions of fans on TV and digital. In 2021, Second Spectrum was acquired by Genius Sports, bringing together a unique combination of technological, operational and commercial capabilities. We believe that technology will revolutionize the way that sports are played, coached, and experienced. We're just getting started turning our joint vision of transformative sports technologies into reality. Second Spectrum is the place to be if you’re interested in working on cutting edge technology in sports, alongside incredibly driven and ambitious teammates. Our innovative and dynamic environment emphasizes opportunities for motivated individuals to maximize their growth and impact. The Role - Senior Realtime Systems Rust Engineer Player and ball location tracking is the foundational data layer upon which nearly all Second Spectrum products are built. You will design and develop our real-time tracking systems that deliver tracking for thousands of soccer and basketball games. Specifically, you will
Integrate low-latency algorithms in collaboration with the computer vision, artificial intelligence, and augmentation teams. Develop performative code targeting cutting edge devices both in the cloud and on-premises. Build highly autonomous systems to scale our technology and minimize the need for manual intervention. Collaborate on tools and frameworks that support the developer experience and velocity across the engineering organization.
This role is based in our recently opened, global center, New York City office. Located in midtown Manhattan, amongst the iconic skyline, you'll be immersed in cultural richness that inspires innovation and creativity. Join our team and add your talents to building a hub for all of Genius Sports. Minimum Qualifications
Experience with architecting and benchmarking low-latency, real-time systems Enthusiasm towards framework development and developer experience Embraces learning and mentoring, empowers teammates Ability to excel in a fast-paced, dynamic environment Proven leadership and strong communication skills 10+ years of industry experience Expertise with Rust and/or C++
Preferred Qualifications
Message brokers such as Pulsar, RabbitMQ, ZMQ Devops experience with Linux, CMake, DockeEarthly, Kubernetes Familiarity with Nvidia GPUs and CUDA Experience with live event deliverables and on-call support Python, TypeScript, React, GraphQL
Our Work Environment and What You Will Benefit From:
Cutting-edge products to work on for major professional sports leagues and teams. Team-oriented engineering habits and software engineering best practices (readable, maintainable, and efficient code). Flat hierarchy and collaborative management led by experienced and strong technical leads. Innovative and dynamic environment, which encourages self-development and opportunities to make an impact. Multicultural team with employees based across several countries (e.g., Switzerland, Denmark, France, United States). Potential for Equity/Bonus, Flexible working hours, Competitive salary, Medical and dental benefits, 401k match
What’s in it for you? As well as a competitive salary and annual leave allowance, our benefits include health insurance, skills training and much more, depending on the location. We also offer a host of softer benefits, including many social events throughout the year such as summer and winter holiday parties, monthly team building events, sports tournaments, charity days and wellbeing activities. The base salary range for this role is $200,000 – $230,000. There are a number of factors which affect what the specific pay offer would be for this role, including location, seniority, and relevant educational and working experience. This is base salary only – all full-time roles will also be eligible to take part in Second Spectrum benefits and equity plan, and some roles may be eligible to take part in a bonus plan. For more details on the compensation and benefits package, please get in touch with our Talent team. How we work We have adapted a forward-thinking ‘Ways of Working’ framework, which sets out (amongst other things) the opportunities for Second Spectrum to work flexibly, remotely and on working holidays. It affects different teams and locations differently, so please ask for further information on how it would work with this role. Our employees are empowered to stretch the boundaries of what’s achievable, always reaching further and pushing the edges to see what gives. We collaborate, we innovate, and we celebrate. We will continue to grow as an organization and continue to invest in our highly talented and diverse team. Second Spectrum, part of Genius Sports Group, is proud to be an equal opportunities employer. We recognize and celebrate the benefits that a diverse and inclusive workforce bring to our business, our customers and our staff. We welcome and will consider all applications regardless of age, different abilities or disability, gender identity or re-assignment, marriage, pregnancy, maternity, race or nationality, religion or belief, sex and sexual orientation (and any other applicable status). Please let us know when you apply if you need any assistance during the recruiting process due to a disability.
submitted by fark13 to sports_jobs [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 17:31 Affair426 Wife had an affair at work

Wife had an affair at work
My wife had an affair, it started emotional last January and turned physical in May, I’m devastated and don’t know how to move forward, we have two young kids. Here’s the details.
Friend at work complains about his wife, eventually asks my wife for a drink She tells me, I warn her he’s interested in more than a friendship, she’s convinced he’s not, declines the drink and agrees not to meet him for coffee or talk outside of work anymore (they have a Starbucks at work that they’d meet; I’m not the jealous type because we both have mixed friends and it’s no big deal)
January 2024 comes around, I see her deleting Instagram messages. She admits it’s him, but only friends, hiding it to not hurt my feelings. She gaslights me, says I’m overreacting, tells her mom I’m overreacting because it’s just a friend, etc February 2024 I check the phone records, the previous May they texted 2000+ times and then went dark. I push and she admits it was physical. They started kissing May 2023 before our daughter turned 1, had sex June 2023 (while she was still breastfeeding), had sex at our house while I was on a work trip, but mostly had sex in her office. Never wore protection because he had a vasectomy. Allegedly they stopped having sex by September, but they met up everyday she was in the office, kissed, and said I love you.
Other fun fact: he and his family came to my house for a bbq after they had already kissed for the first time.
Apparently they cut it off in January when I caught them. I am devastated. I love my daughters and life, but just can’t grasp how this was ever possible. I was her first, took her virginity.
We’ve had a rough go between Covid (she was very strict with quarantine) and having 2 kids.
Now I hear from her and her mom about how rough the marriage was, all of these specific examples of when we had disagreements, how she felt lonely, etc.
I know our marriage was far from perfect and I am partially to blame, I used Covid + kids as a explanation to myself and said things would get better as we got through that and the newborn stage. My job was time consuming, but I work from home, rarely travel, and almost always cooked dinner + picked the kids up from school.
I’m really having difficulty processing the lies, gaslighting, and the affair in general. I knew something was off - I actually thought she was on drugs (she’s never smoked pot); explained away the random t shirt I found as her brothers or something when he stayed. The hickies and scratches on her back once’s as the baby biting her or something. I feel so stupid.
The other part that bothers me so much is that she was able to go to work, have sex with this guy, kiss him, say I love you and then come home and act like nothing happened. I also hate that she’d let this guy touch her body and then breastfeed our daughter when she got home. Had her jewelry I gave her, including wedding band on her while having sex + sending nudes.
He is also married with 3 kids. I trusted my wife implicitly, it’s always what got me through the rough times with her - that’s gone and I don’t know what to do.
She’s in therapy but “using it to survive” and not actually working on herself; hasn’t identified areas for improvement. I’m also in therapy since before this due to the stresses of life and childhood trauma. We occasionally do joint sessions.
I can’t imagine sharing custody of my kids and not seeing them daily, but I am really having trouble moving forward.
I needed to vent, but appreciate any advice on how to get through this. I’m just so so sad and disappointment, not so much mad - there were a few outbursts over this but it’s tapered off to sadness. Almost 4 months into learning about this.
submitted by Affair426 to survivinginfidelity [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 17:29 fark13 Staff Realtime Systems Rust Engineer - Second Spectrum - United states

Staff Realtime Systems Rust Engineer - Second Spectrum - United states
Second Spectrum is a Sports Emmy-winning data & tech company that is building the next way of seeing sports - by capturing and producing the highest quality data and innovative content for many of the world’s largest leagues and media partners, such as the NFL, NBA, English Premier League, ESPN, Amazon, and CBS Sports. We are pushing the boundaries of deep tech -- machine learning, computer vision, big data, augmented and virtual reality. Our passion for cutting-edge design and decades of experience playing college and professional sports is an equal part of the magic that brings unique and innovative products to life. These products have helped Second Spectrum partners to multiple NBA championships, to win matches on football pitches around the world, to entertain and educate millions of fans on TV and digital. In 2021, Second Spectrum was acquired by Genius Sports, bringing together a unique combination of technological, operational and commercial capabilities. We believe that technology will revolutionize the way that sports are played, coached, and experienced. We're just getting started turning our joint vision of transformative sports technologies into reality. Second Spectrum is the place to be if you’re interested in working on cutting edge technology in sports, alongside incredibly driven and ambitious teammates. Our innovative and dynamic environment emphasizes opportunities for motivated individuals to maximize their growth and impact. The Role - Staff Realtime Systems Rust Engineer Player and ball location tracking is the foundational data layer upon which nearly all Second Spectrum products are built. You will design and develop our real-time tracking systems that deliver tracking for thousands of soccer and basketball games. Specifically, you will
Integrate low-latency algorithms in collaboration with the computer vision, artificial intelligence, and augmentation teams. Develop performative code targeting cutting edge devices both in the cloud and on-premises. Build highly autonomous systems to scale our technology and minimize the need for manual intervention. Collaborate on tools and frameworks that support the developer experience and velocity across the engineering organization.
This role is based in our recently opened, global center, New York City office. Located in midtown Manhattan, amongst the iconic skyline, you'll be immersed in cultural richness that inspires innovation and creativity. Join our team and add your talents to building a hub for all of Genius Sports. Minimum Qualifications
Experience with architecting and benchmarking low-latency, real-time systems Enthusiasm towards framework development and developer experience Embraces learning and mentoring, empowers teammates Ability to excel in a fast-paced, dynamic environment Proven leadership and strong communication skills 10+ years of industry experience Expertise with Rust and/or C++
Preferred Qualifications
Message brokers such as Pulsar, RabbitMQ, ZMQ Message brokers such as Pulsar, RabbitMQ, ZMQ Devops experience with Linux, CMake, DockeEarthly, Kubernetes Familiarity with Nvidia GPUs and CUDA Experience with live event deliverables and on-call support Python, TypeScript, React, GraphQL
Our Work Environment and What You Will Benefit From:
Cutting-edge products to work on for major professional sports leagues and teams. Team-oriented engineering habits and software engineering best practices (readable, maintainable, and efficient code). Flat hierarchy and collaborative management led by experienced and strong technical leads. Innovative and dynamic environment, which encourages self-development and opportunities to make an impact. Multicultural team with employees based across several countries (e.g., Switzerland, Denmark, France, United States). Potential for Equity/Bonus, Flexible working hours, Competitive salary, Medical and dental benefits, 401k match
What’s in it for you? As well as a competitive salary and annual leave allowance, our benefits include health insurance, skills training and much more, depending on the location. We also offer a host of softer benefits, including many social events throughout the year such as summer and winter holiday parties, monthly team building events, sports tournaments, charity days and wellbeing activities. The base salary range for this role is $200,000 – $230,000. There are a number of factors which affect what the specific pay offer would be for this role, including location, seniority, and relevant educational and working experience. This is base salary only – all full-time roles will also be eligible to take part in Second Spectrum benefits and equity plan, and some roles may be eligible to take part in a bonus plan. For more details on the compensation and benefits package, please get in touch with our Talent team. How we work We have adapted a forward-thinking ‘Ways of Working’ framework, which sets out (amongst other things) the opportunities for Second Spectrum to work flexibly, remotely and on working holidays. It affects different teams and locations differently, so please ask for further information on how it would work with this role. Our employees are empowered to stretch the boundaries of what’s achievable, always reaching further and pushing the edges to see what gives. We collaborate, we innovate, and we celebrate. We will continue to grow as an organization and continue to invest in our highly talented and diverse team. Second Spectrum, part of Genius Sports Group, is proud to be an equal opportunities employer. We recognize and celebrate the benefits that a diverse and inclusive workforce bring to our business, our customers and our staff. We welcome and will consider all applications regardless of age, different abilities or disability, gender identity or re-assignment, marriage, pregnancy, maternity, race or nationality, religion or belief, sex and sexual orientation (and any other applicable status). Please let us know when you apply if you need any assistance during the recruiting process due to a disability.
submitted by fark13 to sports_jobs [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 17:29 fark13 Staff Realtime Systems Rust Engineer - Genius Sports - United states

Staff Realtime Systems Rust Engineer - Genius Sports - United states
Second Spectrum is a Sports Emmy-winning data & tech company that is building the next way of seeing sports - by capturing and producing the highest quality data and innovative content for many of the world’s largest leagues and media partners, such as the NFL, NBA, English Premier League, ESPN, Amazon, and CBS Sports. We are pushing the boundaries of deep tech -- machine learning, computer vision, big data, augmented and virtual reality. Our passion for cutting-edge design and decades of experience playing college and professional sports is an equal part of the magic that brings unique and innovative products to life. These products have helped Second Spectrum partners to multiple NBA championships, to win matches on football pitches around the world, to entertain and educate millions of fans on TV and digital. In 2021, Second Spectrum was acquired by Genius Sports, bringing together a unique combination of technological, operational and commercial capabilities. We believe that technology will revolutionize the way that sports are played, coached, and experienced. We're just getting started turning our joint vision of transformative sports technologies into reality. Second Spectrum is the place to be if you’re interested in working on cutting edge technology in sports, alongside incredibly driven and ambitious teammates. Our innovative and dynamic environment emphasizes opportunities for motivated individuals to maximize their growth and impact. The Role - Senior Realtime Systems Rust Engineer Player and ball location tracking is the foundational data layer upon which nearly all Second Spectrum products are built. You will design and develop our real-time tracking systems that deliver tracking for thousands of soccer and basketball games. Specifically, you will
Integrate low-latency algorithms in collaboration with the computer vision, artificial intelligence, and augmentation teams. Develop performative code targeting cutting edge devices both in the cloud and on-premises. Build highly autonomous systems to scale our technology and minimize the need for manual intervention. Collaborate on tools and frameworks that support the developer experience and velocity across the engineering organization.
This role is based in our recently opened, global center, New York City office. Located in midtown Manhattan, amongst the iconic skyline, you'll be immersed in cultural richness that inspires innovation and creativity. Join our team and add your talents to building a hub for all of Genius Sports. Minimum Qualifications
Experience with architecting and benchmarking low-latency, real-time systems Enthusiasm towards framework development and developer experience Embraces learning and mentoring, empowers teammates Ability to excel in a fast-paced, dynamic environment Proven leadership and strong communication skills 10+ years of industry experience Expertise with Rust and/or C++
Preferred Qualifications
Message brokers such as Pulsar, RabbitMQ, ZMQ Devops experience with Linux, CMake, DockeEarthly, Kubernetes Familiarity with Nvidia GPUs and CUDA Experience with live event deliverables and on-call support Python, TypeScript, React, GraphQL
Our Work Environment and What You Will Benefit From:
Cutting-edge products to work on for major professional sports leagues and teams. Team-oriented engineering habits and software engineering best practices (readable, maintainable, and efficient code). Flat hierarchy and collaborative management led by experienced and strong technical leads. Innovative and dynamic environment, which encourages self-development and opportunities to make an impact. Multicultural team with employees based across several countries (e.g., Switzerland, Denmark, France, United States). Potential for Equity/Bonus, Flexible working hours, Competitive salary, Medical and dental benefits, 401k match
What’s in it for you? As well as a competitive salary and annual leave allowance, our benefits include health insurance, skills training and much more, depending on the location. We also offer a host of softer benefits, including many social events throughout the year such as summer and winter holiday parties, monthly team building events, sports tournaments, charity days and wellbeing activities. The base salary range for this role is $200,000 – $230,000. There are a number of factors which affect what the specific pay offer would be for this role, including location, seniority, and relevant educational and working experience. This is base salary only – all full-time roles will also be eligible to take part in Second Spectrum benefits and equity plan, and some roles may be eligible to take part in a bonus plan. For more details on the compensation and benefits package, please get in touch with our Talent team. How we work We have adapted a forward-thinking ‘Ways of Working’ framework, which sets out (amongst other things) the opportunities for Second Spectrum to work flexibly, remotely and on working holidays. It affects different teams and locations differently, so please ask for further information on how it would work with this role. Our employees are empowered to stretch the boundaries of what’s achievable, always reaching further and pushing the edges to see what gives. We collaborate, we innovate, and we celebrate. We will continue to grow as an organization and continue to invest in our highly talented and diverse team. Second Spectrum, part of Genius Sports Group, is proud to be an equal opportunities employer. We recognize and celebrate the benefits that a diverse and inclusive workforce bring to our business, our customers and our staff. We welcome and will consider all applications regardless of age, different abilities or disability, gender identity or re-assignment, marriage, pregnancy, maternity, race or nationality, religion or belief, sex and sexual orientation (and any other applicable status). Please let us know when you apply if you need any assistance during the recruiting process due to a disability.
submitted by fark13 to sports_jobs [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 17:24 Fenix512 What were TV show discussions like before the internet?

This may be more Reddit centric, but I don't know any other forums out there.
I feel like TV fandoms on Reddit take TV show discussions to an unrealistic level, forgetting that these shows are fiction and stuff happens because the writers willed it so to create drama and/or comedy. Armchair psychologists try to explain the inner workings of the mind of a fictional character. Sometimes it's fun and leads to good discussions, but some people really get up in arms about certain topics (e.g. The Office's Jim and Pam).
I guess I wonder what it was like before the internet. Would people gather around the water cooler at work and talk about the latest episode of M*A*S*H? Would they also try to psychoanalyze the characters' actions? Or just talk about how cool a scene was and repeat quotes from the show?
submitted by Fenix512 to television [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 17:23 Soup-Cool 31[M4F] UK/Online - looking for my player 2

Hey all hope you're having a great day :)
So like most people i'm missing that special person in my life and it would be really nice to find someone that i can relate to, be 100% honest and open with and generally find my best friend.
Hopefully this would start out as friendship and if we click then we click, open to anyone from anywhere :)
Some stuff about me/hobbies
Video games, this is my biggest hobby by far, i play have an pretty big library of games i play so if you game, there is a high chance we would share stuff we could play, a few games i play often, League(i question it too don't worry) soulsbourne games (unga bunga builds) fallout's, i mainly play pc but have a switch and ps4 too.
TV/Film, if not doing the above, you can find me binge watching shows or films, such as B99, the office HIMYM, GoT (we can discuss how shit the last season was forever), Star Wars, Marvel stuff, SAW.
Animals, i have 2 dogs (yes i'll show you lots of pictures) and in general i love animals so much, so i'll probably spam you with pictures of random animals i think are cute or funny :)
Music, i listen to a wide variety of stuff, from rock and metal to dance/pop some electro swing, rap and other stuff, in general if i like a song i'll listen to it on repeat till i hate it but still listen to it anyway.
I try and be witty and funny most the time, I have a stupid sense of humour but will try and make you laugh most of the time, I can be shy to start with but i open up pretty quickly when i get comfortable with you :)
Don't be shy and hit me up if you think we would get on :)
submitted by Soup-Cool to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 17:09 Affair426 Wife had an affair at work

My wife had an affair, it started emotional last January and turned physical in May, I’m devastated and don’t know how to move forward, we have two young kids. Here’s the details.
Friend at work complains about his wife, eventually asks my wife for a drink She tells me, I warn her he’s interested in more than a friendship, she’s convinced he’s not, declines the drink and agrees not to meet him for coffee or talk outside of work anymore (they have a Starbucks at work that they’d meet; I’m not the jealous type because we both have mixed friends and it’s no big deal)
January 2024 comes around, I see her deleting Instagram messages. She admits it’s him, but only friends, hiding it to not hurt my feelings. She gaslights me, says I’m overreacting, tells her mom I’m overreacting because it’s just a friend, etc February 2024 I check the phone records, the previous May they texted 2000+ times and then went dark. I push and she admits it was physical. They started kissing May 2023 before our daughter turned 1, had sex June 2023 (while she was still breastfeeding), had sex at our house while I was on a work trip, but mostly had sex in her office. Never wore protection because he had a vasectomy. Allegedly they stopped having sex by September, but they met up everyday she was in the office, kissed, and said I love you.
Other fun fact: he and his family came to my house for a bbq after they had already kissed for the first time.
Apparently they cut it off in January when I caught them. I am devastated. I love my daughters and life, but just can’t grasp how this was ever possible. I was her first, took her virginity.
We’ve had a rough go between Covid (she was very strict with quarantine) and having 2 kids.
Now I hear from her and her mom about how rough the marriage was, all of these specific examples of when we had disagreements, how she felt lonely, etc.
I know our marriage was far from perfect and I am partially to blame, I used Covid + kids as a explanation to myself and said things would get better as we got through that and the newborn stage. My job was time consuming, but I work from home, rarely travel, and almost always cooked dinner + picked the kids up from school.
I’m really having difficulty processing the lies, gaslighting, and the affair in general. I knew something was off - I actually thought she was on drugs (she’s never smoked pot); explained away the random t shirt I found as her brothers or something when he stayed. The hickies and scratches on her back once’s as the baby biting her or something. I feel so stupid.
The other part that bothers me so much is that she was able to go to work, have sex with this guy, kiss him, say I love you and then come home and act like nothing happened. I also hate that she’d let this guy touch her body and then breastfeed our daughter when she got home. Had her jewelry I gave her, including wedding band on her while having sex + sending nudes.
He is also married with 3 kids. I trusted my wife implicitly, it’s always what got me through the rough times with her - that’s gone and I don’t know what to do.
She’s in therapy but “using it to survive” and not actually working on herself; hasn’t identified areas for improvement. I’m also in therapy since before this due to the stresses of life and childhood trauma. We occasionally do joint sessions.
I can’t imagine sharing custody of my kids and not seeing them daily, but I am really having trouble moving forward.
I needed to vent, but appreciate any advice on how to get through this. I’m just so so sad and disappointment, not so much mad - there were a few outbursts over this but it’s tapered off to sadness. Almost 4 months into learning about this.
submitted by Affair426 to Marriage [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 17:05 Citron92 Kill la kill: I spit on your grave (Part 44: Rat Bael and friends on the other side)

Kill la kill: I spit on your grave (Part 44: Rat Bael and friends on the other side)
https://preview.redd.it/2zqfpqde5s1d1.png?width=1000&format=png&auto=webp&s=29b1992562a1e153df13dac76160202827dd888d
New Orleans, USA, April 25th, 1926
So looks like the waitress in that cafe was lucky enough to get enough money from Charlotte LaBoeff to buy her restaurant. When we left the cafe, we followed her to the real estate office of the Fenner Bros. and we waited about an hour, sitting on a bench. Every second I spent on Isaac's shoulder as a frog was me sunbathing, contemplating life, and daydreaming about torturing and murdering Nonon. As Tiana ran out of the office, she beckoned us to follow us.
Tiana: Come along! I gotta show you guys!
We followed her down the street for a couple of blocks before we found the old dilapidated building she was planning to buy. Only seeing the outside of the building, the Fenner brothers came up to the realty sign and removed it.
Tiana: Everything looks peachy keen Mr. Fenner, and Mr. Fenner.
Fenner 1: We have the paperwork ready to sign first thing after Mardi Gras.
Tiana: I'll do you one better. I'll sign them tonight when I see you at the Labouff masquerade ball!
The two brothers ignored her, putting the wooden sign into their car and driving off with it. Suddenly, an older black woman appeared behind Tiana.
Tiana's mother: Table for one please!
She was holding a big sauce pot with a red ribbon on it.
Tiana: Mama!
Tiana's mother: Here's a little something to help you get started.
Tiana: Ah! Daddy's gumbo pot. Oh.
Tiana hugged her mother and she spoke again.
Tiana's mother: I know. I miss him too. Well now, hurry up and open the door.
Upon opening the door, Tiana shut the doors immediately and both her and her mother began to hyperventilate. Something was terribly wrong.
Isaac: T-Tiana is it? Is something wrong?
Suddenly, a hole was smashed through the door by a big furry arm as Tiana and her mother ran over to Isaac and his behind him, screaming!
Tiana: What the hell is that?
Isaac reached for his plasma saw and turned it on. It whirred loudly before both doors were slamme open and a dozen of those rat-humanoid monsters barged out!
Ryuko: Shit! Rat bastards! Come on Isaac, you can take them down! Tell Wiz and Boomstick who's boss!
Issac: Oh I will. I'm an exterminator too on top of being an engineer!
Nonon never seeing these monsters before put her hands on her ears and screamed "Oh my G-d" over and over again as Isaac ran into the fight with me and Buzz as frogs on his shoulder!
Isaac: Mourir monsteurs!
Isaac slashed through the horde, swinging quickly and broadly as he cut them down multiple at a time! He jumped high into the air and used his summoned swords magic to shoot two rat bastards, impaling them before clapping and blowing them along with any nearby rat bastards up!
Nonon: What are those things? Oh my G-d!
Gamagoori as a big bullfrog woke up and climbed out of Nonon's pocket.
Gamagoori: Rats! The monsters Wiz and Boomstick created to try and slow Ryuko down so she can't save Mako! Come on! We gotta fight them!
As Isaac cut them up, we saw two cheese pukers emerge from the open door, I called it out to him but saw a big mass of bricks on the roof.
Ryuko: Cheese pukers! Don't let them get close! I'm gonna take them down!
Isaac: Ryuko wait no!
I hopped off his shoulder with Buzz and we hopped onto the wall, climbed up before hopping over to the mass of bricks, me and buzz then began to push them off all at once slowly before they all fell onto the stationary cheese pukers, causing them to explode! Blood, guts, and rotten cheese slurry splattered all over the street, the sight and sent caused Tiana, Nonon and her mother to puke.
Gamagoori hopped out of Nonon's pocket and hopped over to the wall and climbed up with us.
Gamagoori: I'm gonna help! Isaac! More are coming!
More rat bastards charged at Isaac, but he began to cut them all down as they got close. The ones that tried to swipe and swing at him were easily dodge as Isaac was very fast. He dodged, dashed and even did backflips to avoid their attacks all while cutting them down with one swing of his powerful plasma blade! Emerging from the door once more was a big, muscular rat monster with crusty, disgusting fur with dead, diseased rat fetuses stuck to it. It ripped one out and threw it at Isaac, he dodged it quickly!
Isaac: Tiana duck!
Tiana, Nonon and her mother ducked as the diseased rat-humanoid corpse flew over their heads, mere inches from their scalps. Isaac then used his summoned swords magic again and threw two glowing blue swords into it before clapping and blowing it into bloody chunks! None of it's diseased biomass hit us or our human friends bellow.
Isaac: That's not all...
We heard a tapping sound, it became more rapid as Tiana, Nonon and her mother squeaked in fear and all three got rolled into a ball to protect themselves. Out of the doorway was the last rat bastard, but the most horrific looking one. It was as big as the doorway, it had six spider legs, it's body was a big mass of gray fur with two rat bastard heads and a human head wearing a crown in the middle. The human head was familiar however, with the burned scar over it's left eye and brown hair.
Ryuko: Santa told me... Those rat bastards are from a mix of rodent DNA and DNA from Z-Zuko! That's Zuko's head?
The Zuko head stared at Isaac for a moment before it's mouth opened up, revealing hideous, rotten needle-like teeth!
Zuko head: Rarrgggghhhhh!
It ran over to Isaac, trying to get one of it's disgusting heads to bite him, but he jumped around and avoided it! He whirred his plasma saw loudly before jumping behind it but before he could cut it's three heads off, the new rat bastard spun around and bit his plasma saw, holding it in place. One of it's spider legs swept Isaac's legs and he fell to the ground. It then slowly began using it's heads that bit onto the plasma saw while having it's mouths avoid the cutting blue blades press on further, as the plasma saw was pushed further to Isaac's neck, he sweated profusely!
Isaac: You! Mon-steur! Rrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Isaac struggled with it before Tiana ran up behind it with a random wooden plank she used as a club and hit it over the human head! It let go and pulled back and turned towards Tiana, hissing at her before Isaac began to slowly overpower the two rodent heads still pushing on! The two head's teeth accidentally slipped on the blade and Isaac soon cut through their heads, killing two of them. Tiana jammed the wooden plank down the human Zuko head's throat but it bit down and bit the plank in half! Isaac's plasma saw then cut the human head off after cutting through the two other rodent heads from behind! Isaac then kicked the newly killed monster off of him high into the air before Isaac dropped his plasma saw, grabbed it by the legs and swung around with it like a track and field throwing ball before releasing it and it flew high into the sky, so high as a matter of fact that we eventually lost visual contact with it as it travelled so high.
Isaac took some deep breaths before picking up his plasma saw, turning it off and holstering it on his side.
Tiana: Are they gone?
Nonon: What were those things?
Isaac: You didn't run into them? They're the race created by Wiz and Boomstick to kidnap Mako. They're monsteurs me and Ryuko fought. If you want to travel with us, you better not be dead weight. You did nothing to help. Ryuko, Buzz and Gamagoori can't fight at their best right now because of you. So you can do your part or get out.
Nonon: Yes sir. I'll-gulp try.
Tiana: T-thank you for saving me. You are very strong and handsome!
Isaac: Ma plaisir.
Tiana: Did you fight in the great war? You are French after all.
Isaac: Great war? World War o- oh... No I didn't. What year is it again?
Tiana: 1926!
Isaac: 1926! I'm only 26. I... I was 18 in-
Tiana: 1918. Did you fight?
Isaac: Errrr... That's not important. Anyway, I'm going inside your new restaurant. I'll check for any more of those rat bastards.
Tiana: Thank you. Can you tell me when it's clear?
Isaac: Oui.
Isaac proceeded into the ruins before me, Buzz and Gamagoori hopped down a hole from the ceiling, landing on his shoulder.
Isaac: I should of known we travelled back in time in this world. We're in 1926. I wouldn't be born until 1992.
Ryuko: Dang. We're 92 years in the past. Yet again we were in the 15th century months ago.
Gamagoori: What are you talking about?
Ryuko: Me and Isaac going through these worlds, some of them are in the past, one was in 1482! This is the second historical world we've been sent into to find the next dimensional stone.
Buzz: Interuniversal and time travel I see. Your civilization is more advanced then I thought.
Ryuko: Well, it's magic really.
Buzz: Magic! Interesting. I wonder if I can use any.
Ryuko: We'll find out.
Gamagoori: I hope you guys know what you're doing. Will the dimensional stones lead us to Mako?
Ryuko: Yep! Sure will. It will lead us to Mako, we'll save her from Death Battle and we'll kill Wiz, Boomstick and their raping ringmaster.
Gamagoori: I just hope we don't get stuck in the past. I hope you know what you're doing. Also I want to be human again.
Ryuko: We'll get there eventually.
Meanwhile, in the streets of New Orleans, Prince Naveen was joining a street band playing Jazz as everyone was surrounding him, the women were especially fawning over him. His fat servant ran over to him!
Lawrence: Prince!
Naveen: Dance with me, fat man!
The prince took his servant's hand and began to dance around with him for a minute before he announced a proposal to the crowd.
Naveen: Drinks are all on me!
Everyone was cheering, but the servant grabbed the prince and pulled him closer to question him.
Lawrence: How are we going to pay for all of that? You have no money! Either you go and slip out when nobody's looking, or get a job!
Lawrence pointed over to a man behind a horse shoveling it's poop into a bucket.
Naveen: Eugh, fine Lawrence. But first, we dance!
He pulled Lawrence even closer and began to dance with him. The prince let go of Lawrence and he stumbled into the band and his head ended up inside of a tuba!
Naveen: Ha ha! You're finally in the music! Get it? Because your head is inside of a tuba? Ha ha!
Lawrence: Get me out of here!
Naveen and a member of the band pulled at Lawrence before both the prince and his servant were flung out of a tuba and up against a wall!
Lawrence: Agh! How degrading! This is... Oh hello?
Looking up, a slender figure in a black suit and black top hat appeared, he had a top hat with a skull and crossbones on it. This man looked suspicious but he greeted both of them kindly.
Dr. Facilier: Gentlemen! Enchante?
He lowered his walking stick, allowing the prince to grab on so he can be lifted up.
Dr. Facilier: A tip of the hat from Dr. Facilier! How y'all doing?
He handed the prince a purple business card.
Naveen: Tarot readings? Charms? Potions? Dreams made real?
Naveen and Facilier began to walk around a corner into an alleyway.
Dr. Facilier: I'm in the business of visiting royalty. Lawrence followed him.
Naveen: Lawrence! Lawrence! This remarkable gentleman has just read my palm.
Lawrence: Over this morning's newspaper. Sire, sire, this chap is obviously a charlatan. I suggest we move on to a-
Dr. Facilier: Don't you disrespect me little man! Don't you derogate or deride! You're in my world now. Not your world. And I got friends on the other side!
An echo was heard, saying "Friends on the other side".
Dr. Facilier: That's an echo, gentlemen. Just a little something we have here in Louisiana, a little parlor trick. Don't worry.
Dr. Facilier led the two to a door under a sign saying "Dr. Facilier's voodoo emporium", and once leading them in, him and his shadow sat them down at a table as Dr. Facilier high-fived his shadow then took a seat and continued his singing.
Dr. Facilier: Sit down at my table, put your minds at ease, if you relax it will enable me to do anything I please. I can read your future, I can change it 'round some, too, I'll look deep into your heart and soul. You have a soul too, don't you Lawrence?
Lawrence: Yes?
Dr. Facilier: Make your wildest dreams come true! I got voodoo, I got hoodoo, I got things I ain't even tried! And I got friends on the other side.
Dr. Facilier pulled out a deck of tarot cards and shuffled them before the duo as he continued to sing at them.
Dr. Facilier: The cards, the cards, the cards will tell the past, the present, and the future as well! The cards, the cards, just take three, take a little trip into your future with me!
Naveen and Lawrence picked three cards before Dr. Facilier took them and told them to the duo. He started with the prince first and continued to sing about his tarot card readings.
Dr. Facilier: Now you, young man, are from across the sea. You come from two long lines of royalty. I'm a royal myself on my mother's side. Your lifestyle's high but your funds are low. You need to marry a lil' honey whose daddy got dough! Mom and dad cut you off, huh playboy?
Naveen: Eh, sad but true.
Dr. Facilier: Now y'all gotta get hitched, but hitching ties you down. You just wanna be free, hop from place to place But freedom takes green! It's the green, it's the green, it's the green you need. And when I looked into your future it's the green that I see!
He then turned to Lawrence and read his tarot card results to him in a musical fashion.
Dr. Facilier: On you little man, I don't wanna waste much time. You been pushed around all your life, you been pushed around by your mother and your sister and your brother, and if you was married, you'd be pushed around by your wife. But in your future, the you I see is exactly the man you always wanted to be!
Dr. Facilier crossed his arms and expected the duo to shake his hands.
Dr. Facilier: Shake my hand, come on boys. Won't you shake the poor sinner's hand?
Naveen shook reluctantly as Lawrence shook with a mischievous grin on his face. Once they did that, the curtains came down and an army of singing masks began to sing as Naveen and Lawrence were suddenly bound to their chairs!
Dr. Facilier: Yes! Are you ready?
Voodoo spirits: Are you ready?
Dr. Facilier: Are you ready? Transformation central!
Voodoo spirits: Transformation central!
Dr. Facilier: Reformation central
Voodoo spirits: Reformation central!
Dr. Facilier: Transmogofication central!
Dr. Facilier then pulled out a talisman and clipped Naveen's finger with it, getting blood into it and initiating a curse with it.
Can you feel it? You're changin', you're changin', you're changin', all right! I hope you're satisfied, but if you ain't, don't blame me! You can blame my friends on the other side!
The musical number ended as Dr. Facilier danced around with the voodoo spirits!
Voodoo spirits: You got what you wanted! But you lost what you had!
Dr. Facilier then dashed forward on his knees before blowing, and everything went dark.
Back at Tiana's new restaurant, Isaac emerged from the doors, me, Gamagoori and Buzz were in his pockets as he approached Tiana.
Isaac: Good news Tiana, it's all clear!
Tiana: Oh thank you! You're my hero Isaac! Now, I just need to make some changes around here, so I may turn this into my dream. It will have to wait. I have to eventually go to the masquerade ball tonight.
Isaac: Oui.
submitted by Citron92 to Dbmlore [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 16:58 bobbybobby911 36M looking for online folks to talk about day to day stuff and life

Welp, here goes. I made a post a long time ago and got in touch with a few really nice people. Unfortunately, as it is with time, people move on and now I'm back here.
I'm looking for someone to chat to. Generally I'm curious to know about people's hobbies, their lives, what drives them, sometimes philosophy. It often seems mundane but honestly I like it.
About me: - I work in tech - live in Germany - hobbies include fitness, hiking, traveling - married. My wife and i are in an open marriage as we both are often away for work - tv shows and movies. We can talk about our fav content
What I'm looking for: - someone who's older than 25 - be proactive with texting. It's would be mainly on reddit itself - sharing interesting reddit posts - i do enjoy dark jokes and nsfw content on occasions but please ask once beforehand as it really depends on the people I'm interacting with.
Lastly, just because I'm in an open marriage doesn't mean I'm here looking for an affair. Nop, I'm not. I'm alright with casual flirting to keep things intriguing and fun, sexting is okay but definitely not right off the bat and only if we agree to it beforehand.
Sorry for making this long 😅
submitted by bobbybobby911 to Needafriend [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 16:43 libbster44 [TOMT][Movie Scene] — Singing 'You Oughta Know' by Alanis Morrisette

Hi everyone! I'm thinking about a possible movie scene in which someone aggressively sings/lipsyncs 'You Oughta Know' by Alanis Morrisette. It could also be a TV scene, SNL skit, or something along those lines.
My brain is yelling Emma Stone for some reason, but I could be getting confused with her singing in 'Easy A'. Oh, and it's not the karaoke scene in 'Booksmart'.
If anyone has any ideas, I'm all ears. Thanks in advance! :)
EDIT: It was Kevin from 'The Office' but TruthorTrolls comment helped me find that on IMDb, so thank you!
submitted by libbster44 to tipofmytongue [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 15:08 AmbitionOk9192 I think my marriage is over. What do I Do? M/39 found out wife F/45 is cheating.

I think my marriage is over.
Edit: throwaway account because, you know why
My wife and I have been together over 10 years and I've caught her messaging strange men on the Internet more times than I can count. Sometimes, I'd walk into a room from behind her and see the sexual things she was sending through secret accounts in apps, etc. Two times I got her absolutely red-handed to the point where she admitted it, but said it was all people who lived hundreds of away and it was just messages, but then promptly blamed me for supposedly being distant - bare in mind this happened twice.
Over the years, I walked in on her masturbating with a video call on that she gaslights me about happening to this very day. I've caught her taking intimate photos and videos multiple times (I have never received a single one in out decade together).
One time on the way to my grandfather's funeral, her phone qas connected to my cars Bluetooth and I just answered a ring when a call came through it was a man who seemed very confused to be hearing a guys voice on the phone. My wife panicked and ended the call so fast.
I was stupid. I decided that I loved her too much to call it quits. I decided to give it another chance. It took over 5 years to rebuild that trust.
Cut to 3 months ago when my wifes phone wasn't working and she handed it to me to fix it. This is when a picture of a guy and his dick come through her notifications! Then I open it to see that it's coming with an invitation to stay overnight at his house, and he stays in the next town over! My wife lied through her teeth and said he sent that unsolicited, and she didn't know where he lived and that it was all a coincidence. I don't know why I didn't ask for a divorce then and there. I honestly don't.
Last week, my work was pretty quiet (i work from home), so I decided to watch some movies in between the lack of work. I don't have a tv in my office, so I used my wifes tablet. Then some sort of flirty messages start coming through, but nothing I could say was specifically flirting. All the messages had a woman from her works name. Let's just say it's Melanie. Then, thanks to the wonders of the icloud continutity, her iPad starts ringing with this person's name, meaning someone is calling her phone, but I know that this person is in the office with my wife today, and there's no reason to be calling personal mobiles either. My wife has shown me messages from Melanie before, and that's written as "Work- Melanie Andrews," not "Melanie Andrews."
So I opened the messages app on her iPad, and I can see texts going back talking about meeting this persons kids and that they're in bed wishing the my wife was there. She's made a contact for someone else and put Melanie's name on it.
Cut to yesterday, my wife is texting away for hours, closes the app whenever I'm near, suddenly announces out of the blue that her friend Sarah needs her to pick her up from 3 towns over from a repair shop and drive her home and they'll probably just go out to lunch too, so she'll be gone a while.
I dont buy it one bit - Sarah, who has a husband with his own car and needs my wife to do this and drops this news the night before? I'm expected to buy that?
So when my wife went to sleep, I checked her ipad again. She hasn't messaged Sarah in 3 months. There have been no calls to sarah. All Sarah's messages are still there. But you know who's messages have been deleted? "Melanie's"
Today, I asked my wife about when she was going out and why Sarah had dropped this on her so last minute. My wife said sharah hadn't gotten back to her with a time (which she absolutely confirmed to me she had yesterday). My wife ended up leaving the house at 10am, claiming she was going to the doctors and then to call Sarah to meet up and head over - despite telling me not 5 minutes prior that they didn't have a time, and yesterday it was lunch.
She left, so I checked the iPad again. Messages all gone again, but oh look, she's on the phone, and it's not to Sarah - it's to "Melanie." But the call ends quickly it seems whoever she's calling isn't picking up. 3 times my wife tries.
Again , still no calls or texts to Sarah in months.
20 minutes later, my wife is home and says I'm acting weird. Then she says Sarah is calling her, and she runs off upstairs and closes the door. Which would be weird, so I went up after her and asked if everything was okay. She shut the door in my face. Once the call was done, she came down and told me I was acting weird. I questioned the total randomness of what happened over the last day with the changing plans, etc. She said that sometimes she just want to be able tk leave the house and not tell me where she's going because she needs that that she feels trapped etc and that she was just going to cancel on Sarah because I am stopping her from having a life.
My wife basically gaslit the hell out of me to make me the problem.
For the record, I have never had an issue with her going out or spending time with any of her friends. She doesn't go out more, and I worried about her being alone so often. Apparently, she's found a way to cure that loneliness.
I dont know what to do. I mean I know I can't stay with her after this but i don't think I have the courage to admit it or to confront her because the only way to do it is tk admit that I didn't trust her enough and snooped.
I feel betrayed and heartbroken - what do I do?
Edit 2: My wife has just told me that's she's going to arrange to meet Sarah for breakfast instead. Sarah - who works full time and has a husband and a kid with special needs.
submitted by AmbitionOk9192 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 14:57 angesp389 Does my co-worker have a Word Doc of things I've done that he plans to snitch on me for?

To be clear. I am a co-op for this company. My coworker is also a co-op. We were work in a small room, His desk faces the other way behind me. Even if i turn around slightly I know what he's working on because we have 2 monitors and we arent that far from each other. Anyways I turned around yesterday to stretch and go grab a water, and there I see it. He literally has a whole Word Doc on stuff I've done that I think he would snitch on me about? It's nothing major but itll be like Why I didn't take as long as he did at a certain part of a project or times when I've been busy and he wants me to help him instead of finishing what I have to do. It even comes smaller to that to where I on times I was ahead of the project I would try to do a little bit of homework in between. Meanwhile He does homework all day at times, but I don't care what he does or anything. When i first started this co-op he was an alright guy. There were a lot of things we disagreed about but we were still cool with each other. I felt like even if i wanted to I could not build a bond with him because literally everyday He calls one of his old co-op partner for hours. Literally on a teams call for hours. again, I don't care what he does I wouldn't rat him out for some of the things he's done, (porn video game, Explicit music videos on the huge TV presentation screen at our meetings, The things he wants to do with some of the women that he's worked here with). List can go on, but I've literally always worked in a chill workspace throughout my life. This is my first office job and im just like is this how itll always be? but yeah main thing is he literally has a Word doc about some of the things I've don't i guess at work and he has it in order. Seems like he has been doing this since the beginning. I havent said or told him anything that I know about it. I just have it in my back of my mind that he's an Opp. I thought we were friends at first but I guess not.
EDIT: To also add Since the beginning of this co-op he tries acting like he is over me or tries to be a boss. I don't listen to anything that he tells me to do that out boss hasn't assigned for me to do unless he needs help.
submitted by angesp389 to careerguidance [link] [comments]


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